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bluwails · 4 years ago

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Ive been real inspired by @chipper-smol 's au. I find myself snickering at Ghost/feral's antic mainly because I have young siblings and in my home there is never a dull moment. Child antics are literally my life rn and I cant help but relate.

So while on a nostalgic trip i was struck with this poorly written fic. And I hope you enjoy.

No edits because we die like men!

The time for rest had asserted its hold over Hallownest again as bugs wound down from the days toils. The servants and knights had quietly excused themselves to their personal quarters and the kingsmoulds that marched dutifully down each hall had slowed to a silent pace.

The white Lady had taken in the idea to walk the palace before retiring to her personal quarters for the evening. Dryya, her most respected and loyal guard, walked quietly behind her as she stiffled a yawn much to the white lady's amusement. She had dismissed her hours ago to rest but she stubbornly stuck to her and insisted on being around to protect her on her leisurely stroll.

" Your majesty, you need not worry for me. I will-" Dryya gaped stiffling another sign of encroaching sleepiness," -be with you until you retire to your bedroom."

She still felt fascination bubble under the surface as she observed her; a warm aura seeping off of her.

As a higher being they will never need these things like rest or daily meals. But they merely adopted the actions to blend more with the society around them. Just like her dear wyrm, Things like sleep were never on the forefront of their mind. They could spend decades awake and unbothered by the need. But they made resting a habit to demonstrate that one should rest after work.

Shuffling down the halls toward her favorite veranda befor she heard an unfamiliar scuffling. It was hurried but small. Most likely a small bug.

"Behind me your majesty." Dryya hissed pulling her nail from her side her alert instantly raised. As late as it was not many would be awake, much less in the halls working so fervently.

As they turned the corner they spotted two familiar horns working quickly with a brush and bottles of ink.

It was the feral vessel.

" You cheeky Sqwib! " she screamed shocking the little vessel. Their small hand dropping the brush they'd use to vandalize the walls. "You are at it again!" Dryya huffed indignant at the vessel as she marched over, sheathing her nail, and quickly bonking them between the horns.

" Do you know how you terrified the Queen?" She growled seizing their ink colored hands. " and to top that, you dare vandalize the white palace yet again!"

"Dear knight, there is no reason to be so harsh. " the white Lady softly appealed. "The walls can be cleaned and the ink replaced but the trust from a child cannot." She calmly lectured using a branch to pet the vessel.

"You are to lenient with them my lady." She huffed releasing them. Dryya was no fan of the feral vessel. Time and time again they'd watch and suffer their pranks. Many a time her nail was stolen only for it to be returned muddy or, miraculously, bent at the tip.

She was not the only one of the five knights to have their belongings weaseled from them and returned in less then favorable conditions.

"They are just being a child Dryya." WL cooed as she slowly squatted in front of them. "Soften your heart towards them. If only for me."

The knight reluctantly huffed again as she faced away. "Praise the Queen's endless patience, you little tyrant, you are saved for now. "

The white Lady smiled warmly as she looked the small vessel over. At this time they were meant to be tucked away in bed. The schedule their father made, though strict was optimize for their healthy growth. She suspected in full that the pure vessel had curled themselves into bed without a second thought, while their sibling ran through the halls causing their daily commotion.

In all honesty, she found their outbursts charming. Each trick, prank and shenanigan they pulled continuously showed her how lively they truly were. When they'd arrived from the abyss with their sibling, she lamented at their sight. Seeing them as nothing more than walking corpses until she heard of what would honestly sound like a farce. They'd barely stepped foot into the white palace before they entered a meeting between the dreamers, with no command or reason, and unleashed the most ungodly revolting smell. Shocking and disgusting the entire gathering forcing them to vacate the room entirely.

When her wyrm ranted about them that evening on how they indignantly, stomping their tiny grub feet and blantly ignoring him, forced them to clean the entire room alongside the retainers as punishment she could not help but laugh in an odd mix of relief and joy releasing a knot in her chest she did not know she held.

Looking again to the picture on the wall it was of clearly her dear wyrm. Her giggle chimming like bells as she observed it further. It was simple and childish as but it was an accurate representation of her wyrm. His elegant crown like horns now simple zigzags, their fangs drawn large and silly, with their tongue poked out in a not very gentlemen manner. (She suspects this is how they saw their father when they ranted at them.) It was crude, hurriedly painted, and was encompassed by tiny hand marks and had all the makings of a goofy Caricature and she wished she could save it.

"I see the throws of art beckoned you from your deep sleep small one." knowing full well they did it to mess with the king again. "maybe we should have Lurien tutor you to bring out your talents?" She questioned aloud watching the vessel furiously shake their head from the corner of their eye.

"Then what brings you from bed?"

The child twisted at their fingers looking down as they snuck peeks at her face.

They signed quickly keeping their ink covered hands slightly in sight. But It obvious it was something else. It was no news to her that they held many things back from them. And the curiosity of what it could be danced in the back of her mind, but she refused to force them anymore than they'd allow.

"You know you require rest in order to grow." She purred gently as she angled her small one's mask toward her.

Their mask tilted in a way that mimicked a pouty huff. Her heart swelling at how cute they were. She could not help but poke a small amount of fun.

"So you do not wish to grow anymore?" She questioned exaggeratedly tilting her head and placing a branch to her cheek.

They seemed to freeze at the and mull the thought around in their head. To her, this was the sweetest gesture. She'd remembered when the two vessels first molted and got their bearings. Though they thought no one was watching, she caught them do a small jig in celebration of their new body. Wiggling their newly formed fingers, touching their more angled faces and observing their budding wings.

" I'd say you'd want to." She whispered calmly retrieving her handkerchief to clean them.

"How can one so small hold such large secrets?" She hummed wiping the pink ink from them.

The vessel signed, a cheeky air to them as they flexed their arms nearly rupturing her heart from cuteness alone.

"Dryya please get someone to assist in cleaning up. " with a bow Dryya reluctantly left grumbling to herself.

"Now as much as I would love for you and to stay up and get into all kinds of mischief. I would say its time for bed. " She cooed admiring their clean face.

The vessel gestured again with more emphasis.

"I see." She hmmed making a show of thinking of what to do. In reality she had an idea of what to do. Somewhere deep in her memory was a song that. She could not remember the face that sang it to her but she remembers it working nearly every time. Ushering her to sleep. "Then would you care to accompany me on the veranda?" She asked pointing to the large glass door not far behind them.

Nodding they streched their arms up towards her. Obligating the gesture she swept them up in her branches as she walked slowly to the door.

she allowed small blooms to bloom on her creating a pleasant perfume before sitting on her stool already set up outside.

The vessel signed again gesturing at themselves.

Chuckling she squeezed them close to her. "Not essentially. You are of two pale beings and void." She murred quietly; her light warming them as they sunk into her lap. "You don't really need sleep. But its good because it helps you grow." She hummed wrapping her branches around them.

They gestured wildly again wiggling their fingers above their head causing her to erupted in laughter.

"Yes." She snickered "maybe if my wyrm slept and rested more they would grow as well I will be sure to suggest it to them later." Feeling the small ones shoulders shake in signs of laughter she hugged them.

" you remind me much of him in his younger years." She thought aloud as the vessel shook their head furiously. " well the both of you refuse to sleep on time so I imagine you two are similar in that sense." She mused as the small threw a small tantrum.

"Very well, shall I sing you something to assist you to sleep?" They nodded sinking back into her lap, placing their head on her chest.

As they sat, staring out into the lush garden and flickering lumaflies below she hummed a quiet tone shutting her eyes calling upon the memory.

Her branch rubbing small circles into their child's back as her voice trilled lyrics long thought lost to her:

Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby

Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay

And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow

Bless you with love for the road that you go

May you sail far to the far fields of fortune

With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet

And may you need never to banish misfortune

May you find kindness in all that you meet

May there always be angels to watch over you

To guide you each step of the way

To guard you and keep you safe from all harm

Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

May you bring love and may you bring happiness

Be loved in return to the end of your days

Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you

I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay

May there always be angels to watch over you

To guide you each step of the way

To guard you and keep you safe from all harm

Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay

Loo-li, lai-lay

Only the soft breathing and the feeling their body relax and their shoulders ease indicated they drifted off.

"Sweet dreams my small one."

Thanks so much for reading. In all honesty i have only played hollowknight for about a month and half and im already so invested in the fandom. (I'm still getting my butt handed to me by ogrim. Please dungy boi stop throwing sh!t at me long enough so i can hit you. You broke all my fragile charms alreday!-🥺😢) You guys are so creative and fluffy and have no problem hurting my tender sensibilities.

For those curious the song is called sleepsong by secret garden. I used to listen to it ages ago before bed.

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anxiouspotatorants · 4 years ago

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Whoopsy daisy I made a Shadow and Bone random thoughts post:

The costumes in this show are impeccable. I was drooling over all the keftas and the ball gowns in 1.05 and the crow outfits. Hell, even the winter-camo outfits that Mal, Mikhael and Dubrov wore in 1.04 were amazing.

Am I the only one who isn’t surprised by the kruge pronounciation? Because I thought it would sound like how English people say Scandinavian words and I wasn’t wrong.

Coming in to this show as someone who had only read the Six of Crows duology, I expected to at least tolerate Malina based on the trailer clips. I kid you not: less than five minutes into the very first episode they owned my ass. That might be a new record for me.

Seriously the friendship? The pining? The finding home in each other and being able to acknowledge their faults and apologize to each other? Both of them having massive “fight me” energy and protecting each other? Hugs?? Why am I surprised that I ship this?

Some of those scene transitions/flashback edits were so good! Like I know they repeated that meadow scene a lot throughout the season, but the cuts from kid-Mal looking at the rabbit to grown up Mal psyching himself up for the fist fight? Poetic cinema.

The Darkling was horrible and I love it. He wasn’t a carbon copy villain, nor did his complexity redeem him. He was a perfectly complex and understandable monster and I am living for it. I have not been so happy to despise a character in ages and I genuinely bow in gratitude to both the writers and Ben Barnes, because I finally got to enjoy watching a character I did not for one second root for ( #writevillainswellagain)

Look I already loved Jesper in the book but his on-screen translation elevated him from a fave to the fave. I was worried that they would push him into a comedic relief-role, but he got to keep both his heart, his depth, and his humour. Kit Young did an amazing job bringing what was already a great character on page to an even greater character on screen and I once again applaud.

Am I a bit bitter that the casting had some interesting choices for certain roles (aka hiring light skin and mid-size actors for explicitly darker skin and plus-size roles)? Kind of. Do I think there are important discussions worth having about this? Yup. Do I also think that every actor hired for Shadow and Bone did an amazing job and deserve zero hate and massive amounts of love? Also yes.

I had Alexei for one episode and one episode only, and I still miss that poor sucker. This show did a surprisingly good job with making me care about a massive amount of characters considering the screen time they had and the amount of episodes this season had. Good job.

For some reason I expected Inej to be a lot more brooding based on how I perceived her in the books but I love what Amita Suman did with her. Her translation completely recontextualised everything I remember from the books and just brought this truly fresh character to life. Assassin with a conscience indeed.

Also I did love the Kaz we got in this season but I can barely contain myself as I wait for season 2 to be made and for a certain flashback to take place because that moment in the book was visceral and it stayed with me for a long time and I knew before the show announcement that this flashback could become a television moment.

Speaking of Kaz the crows were so chaotic and messy and I’m here for it. Their interactions with each other and their improvised back-up plans were everything. I somehow didn’t expect the crows to become the comedic relief of the season but it honestly makes so much sense.

A couple episodes in I still didn’t get the Zoya hype (remember I haven’t read the books) but was a massive Genya fan. By the end of the season I was like “oh both of these girls are getting redemption arcs and I am here for it”.

Speaking of redemption I still don’t like Matthias. I’m sorry but I just don’t. I get that he is important to many and that they like his relationship with Nina, but I just don’t have the patience for him and feel like Nina can do better. I still want him to get a redemption... but maybe not through a romance with the grisha woman he repeatedly slutshames, is bigoted towards and chokes at least once (twice if that SoC scene from book 1 happens). That being said this is just how I see him, so feel what ever you feel about him and ship to your heart’s content!

Alina’s journey through this season made complete sense to me. It hurt to see certain things, but they were necessary in my eyes. Seeing her go from this essentially insecure but brave girl to a manipulated pawn to an even stronger and more self reliant girl in spite of everything was amazing. It did feel like a well-written hero’s journey and I’m looking forward to seeing where she goes next.

Apparently a lot of book-readers don’t like Mal (and I am not here to change anyone’s mind about that) but the Mal I saw on the show was amazing. I actually kind of wish we had seen more of who he was outside of his relationship to Alina (f.ex. other flashbacks than the meadow, maybe something about any of his missions while separated from Alina pre-show), but I also loved what we got of him with Alina. We still got to see a guy who was brave, stubborn, flirtatious, a bit judgemental but with a strong sense of humour, and a lot of loyalty (to Alina but also to his friends). I can hardly wait to see what’s next for him.

Milo the goat. Where do I even begin. Not only did we get that Jesper-scene, but their farewell actually became a Chekhov’s gun for Mal in 1.07? Milo is the true hero of the season.

Speaking of 1.07 I loved the tent scene between Alina and the Darkling. She both got to be realistic about her feelings for the Darkling and stand up for herself and for others and call him out. The way I interpret the Darkling, he is the kind of villain who creates a saviour narrative around himself but cares more about power than anything else. He’ll say he’s doing everything to protect his people but is the first to kill the very people he claims to love. And Alina’s tent-speech really hammered that in for me.

I adore Baghra. Is she morally dubious? Yes. Was she incredibly mean to Alina during training to the point where it might have been excessive? Yes. Did she not take any of the Darkling’s bullshit and act as the proper mentor for Alina when the Darkling had said that he was going to train her? Yes. Am I kind of a Baghra stan now? I mean maybe.

The antler-collar was so evil and gross but from a visually narrative stand point it was perfect.

Also I still have no idea who David is but I want redemption for him too. Honestly I feel like half the supporting cast is gearing up for redemption arcs next season and I am excited for most of them.

Nina’s reaction when she hears Kaz on the boat? Priceless. Actually the whole boat scene from when she goes up on deck again to the cut back to the fold was priceless.

That being said the final scene had me even more ready for season 2.

Jesper kind of gave me messy period-fantasy James Bond? Does that make sense?

And Mal kind of gave me Lois Lane energy? As in he’s the mortal love interest that many assume is the hero/heroine’s weakness but actually functions as their emotional strength and inspiration? Am I reaching here or am I getting somewhere?

Mikhael and Dubrov. What a duo. Absolute madlads.

Also I’d like to see more Nadia if that is possible? Because the few scenes we had of her had me intrigued but then she sort of disappeared? Is she going to be important or was she just more of a temporary supporting character?

I entered this show a casual Six of Crows fan with mild interest in Kanej and I finished this season a mess. A mess who ships Kanej and Malina and Genya with that David guy even though they had about 30 seconds of screentime together and Zoya with redemption and Jesper with main-character status (hey we’re not getting Wylan until season 2 at least) and kind of those two Ravkan army guys and Nina with anyone else and Matthias with a better redemption storyline and the Darkling with karma! Also, a mess with a whole new set of comfort characters!

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imagining-in-the-margins · 3 years ago

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Rejected Requests Part 12

Hello everyone! I am unfortunately back with another set of Rejected Requests (Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6 , Pt 7 , Pt 8 , Pt 9 , Pt 10, Pt 11, Pt 12, Pt 13)

I understand this is very disappointing for many of you (especially those that have been waiting for a long time). I promise it has nothing to do with you, and mostly it’s just because my brain has decided it doesn’t want to cooperate.

I will post the rejected fics below the cut. I want to give you the opportunity to ask another Writer (check the list of Writers currently seeking requests here! It’s been recently updated!) For some, I’ve already allowed another author to take a whack at it, and I’ll link to them below!

Here is the list for anyone who might want to pursue the request with someone else, or for any writers that are looking for inspiration.

While I absolutely adore Joe Harper, I don't think I will ever get around to this purely because I know I'll turn it into a damn near novel length book. I still have a couple other ideas for his character, though! So you will still probably see him in my writing eventually! 😅

Fun fact about me: I am terrible at makeup. I know basically nothing. I'm also not the biggest fan of anything tangential to feminization, so I don't think I'd end up writing this (well enough as you deserve). However, @broken-stardust said that he was interested in writing this one, and I know he will do great!

I swear I saw this somewhere else. I'm actually only rejecting it based on that, rather than it being triggering to me. However, I cannot for the life of me remember where I swore I saw it.

If I'm wrong and just an idiot (very possible, and even likely), please send it again and let me know it's not a dupe! Also, while I have you here on the subject - would you be alright with ADHD!Reader? It's the only prompt I've seen where I think I could do it well.

@broken-stardust wrote this one for you - you can read it here!

@reidgraygubler asked if they could take this one from me! I actually have a very similar premise I just wrote called Dead Air, which you can read here!

I'm gonna be honest here. I am too cr*ppled to write this 😂 There are so many cute ways to take this story, though. I'll edit this if anyone decides to take it!

Unfortunately, I am super not a fan of insecure Reader. I worked very hard to become confident, and slipping back in that mindspace is hard for me. @spencerreidsmiles said that she is considering it, but it'll be a while before she can get to it!

I actually love this idea, but I don't think I'll be able to write it. I will get carried away, and I already have a Professor Reid slowburn (+3 Prof!Reid fluff/angst fics - Quid Pro Quo, Dead Air, and Forbidden Fruit). But again, for anyone who is on the fence, these fics tend to do very well, so if you are looking for engagement, this is a great idea to start with.

Ah, ages ago I had an amnesia request I just got rid of, so I am unfortunately unable to take this one. That being said, I do think it's a fascinating idea.

I especially love the chance the explore what it would be like for Spencer not to remember something (like at the prison). I could even see him being upset that the person didn't appreciate what that meant for him - to be something he was able to forget.

He's a strange person. I think you have a great idea, and if anyone wants to write it and get my take on anything, just send me a message and I'd love to discuss it with you!

That’s it for now, folks! If you’ve read this far… Thank you!

Sorry for all of you that I denied, but I hope that this clears you to ask some of the other authors here!

Thank you for your support. I appreciate all of you more than I can explain!

#rejected requests #spencer reid request

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trishfullertonwriting75 · 3 years ago

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I posted 173 times in 2021

25 posts created (14%)

148 posts reblogged (86%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.9 posts.

I added 104 tags in 2021

#reblogawriter - 28 posts

#teamthranduil - 28 posts

#thranduil - 16 posts

#thranduil fanfic - 8 posts

#thranduilfanfic - 6 posts

#thranduilfantasy - 5 posts

#thranduilfanfiction - 5 posts

#supportawriter - 3 posts

#thranduil x reader - 3 posts

#thranduil oropherion - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 32 characters

#notahealthproblembutanelfproblem

My Top Posts in 2021

@ardhoniel-oropherion Never a commoner 😘

20 notes • Posted 2021-01-25 02:10:59 GMT

Chapters: 25/25 Fandom: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: Underage Relationships: Thranduil (Tolkien)/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Original Female Character(s), Thranduil (Tolkien), Bard the Bowman, Original Characters Additional Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Caring Thranduil, Protective Thranduil, Thranduil modern setting, Thranduil is an actor, Shakespeare References, A Midsummer Night's Dream - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Did I say angst?, Angsty allergic reaction, Betrayal, pretence, Thorin referenced Summary:

Mia Masry is a renowned published author, with no less than six, highly popular novels to her name, novels that are of an explicit nature. However, her well of ideas has run dry as of late and inspiration simply won't come to her. Her publicist decides to hire an actor, by the name of Thranduil, to pretend to be her 'prince charming' and give her the inspiration that is lacking. Thranduil isn't thrilled with his new assignment, but is struggling to get proper acting roles, through no fault of his own, but rather because of an ill-fated situation in his past. He has no choice but to take on a job that at least somewhat requires him to do what he loves to do most: to act. When the attraction between Mia and Thranduil is no longer based on pretence, they are on an unavoidable collision course with anger and heartache. There is no telling what their future will hold.

THIS NEEDS TO BE READ. I know there’s a lot of you Thranduil fans out there (as in most of my mutuals!) so pop over to AO3 and check out the latest story from this amazingly wonderful and talented writer. She’s taken two strong characters and worked wonders with them - it’d be criminal to miss this. Feel free to kudo and/or comment...everything helps motivate for the next work of art.

And this IS a work of art.

And as a Thranduil fanatic - trust me.

20 notes • Posted 2021-08-21 15:13:31 GMT

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bard the Bowman/Thranduil Characters: Bard the Bowman, Thranduil (Tolkien) Additional Tags: Praise Kink, Boss/Employee Relationship, Office Blow Jobs, Oh no the power went out!, Light Dom/sub, PWP, bard the bowman - Freeform, CEO!Thranduil, Oneshot, Deep throat, Bard has a praise kink Summary:

Bard is late for work and his line manager just had to make him work the time back.

Thing is, he isn't in the office alone. No, his ridiculously handsome boss with a voice like velvet is also working late.

Something very not safe for work happens between the two and Bard discovers a kink.

Ok folks, this NEEDS to be read and commented on. Written by my very good friend @writerman, the chemistry in the Barduil tale is electric. Read, coment, share.

25 notes • Posted 2021-08-08 02:18:19 GMT

Need some help, guys...

Ok...I saw a fan edit/artwork pic of Thranduil somewhere, and can't remember where. He's in the forest (if I remember correctly), wearing a cloak with a hood pulled up over his head, looking directly out of the picture at the viewer.

Can anybody help with this..?

43 notes • Posted 2021-12-24 12:45:26 GMT

Always perfect, always gorgeous

55 notes • Posted 2021-01-25 02:20:28 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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twilightprince101 · 4 years ago

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It’s been a while since I’ve drawn, much less created a new OC! But recently I’ve succumbed to Bugsnax brainrot, so introducing Brandy Brittleshoot!

Brandy is a freelance writer and editor, working on several different projects at once before coming to Snaktooth Island. Alongside decently good hearing he has an intense curiosity for the world, often experimenting with different Snakified limbs to get inspiration for his latest story! (Just be prepared if you ask them about it, you’ll be stuck there ‘till nightfall).

I also filled out an interview prompt of him under the cut from @cosmicheartz , so check that out if you’re interested and feel free to shoot any asks about them! I��d love to talk a bit more about my newest character!

Who are you?

I’m Brandy Brittleshoot, I’m a freelance writer! Editing articles, typing out scripts, writing for dating sims, I’ve done a lot!

( How long have you been writing for? )

How long? Hehe, honestly I can’t even remember. One of my earliest memories was me writing an alternate ending to a book that had a crummy finale. I was so upset and whined so loud at a last minute plot twist that my dad sat me down in front of a notebook with a pencil so he could focus on his work. Though, I don’t think he expected me to actually write something decent! Never underestimate the power of an upset fan!!

( Anything in particular you’re writing now? )

Oh a handful of things! I have like, a million story ideas sitting on the backburn, but right now? I’m outlining a story idea I got for my latest novel! The details are a little hazy right now, but it’s all about an island of shapeshifters who can change into whatever they want. But of course, in a world like that there’d be lots of chaos if there were just like, a bunch of dragons flying around everywhere (who wouldn’t want to be a dragon) so there’s the government trying to limit it somewhat and there’s this one girl who-! Oh, grump! Sorry, um, still working on that.

Why come to Snacktooth island?

Oh Lizbert’s to thank for that! A while back I helped with putting out her story about Grumplantis! She saw a bit of the work I was doing at the time and, for some reason, decided I should help her out! Still have no idea why she chose me to help edit especially considering I was writing Grumpus Croft fan fiction at the time, but to think I’d get to help publish official findings about a lost civilization!!! I didn’t even care about the money, just the thought of working together with an explorer like that is just-!

( *Ahem…* But, what about Snacktooth? )

Oh right, that! Well, long story short she thought the work I did was good and invited me to come along as a way to say thanks since she didn’t exactly have the funds to pay for my work. Obviously I couldn’t pass up an opportunity that big, getting firsthand experience with an actual adventurer! So I dropped what I was doing, packed up and came right along with her!

Thoughts on bugsnax?

Duuude, okay. So imagine me, a writer who absolutely loves fantasy, lands on this island and finds out that fantasy actually exists! And is edible!!! I get to know what fantasy tastes like!!! This whole island is walking through one big fantasy novel and I have gotten nothing but inspiration since I’ve gotten here, it’s amazing!

( What does fantasy taste like? )

Okay, it’s like--actually, hang on, it would be faster if I just read this excerpt I wrote down a bit ago instead of trying to explain. *ahem.* ‘Upon the first bite of the plump and crispy Bunger, a dazzling fireworks show of flavor cascades into my mouth and paints a nova onto my taste buds. Each crunch a new explosion, a new flavor, a new color streaming across the sky’s canvas and dazzling me like a nova-’ oop, put nova twice there… ‘-Dazzling me like a child’s first glimpse at the night sky’s expanse! A symphony of crackles for me to experience alone, and by the time the last stream of light fizzled out, I’m ready to light the fuse for an encore.’ And that was just for the Bungers!

Why did you leave town?

Hoooh boy okay, bit of a loaded question there… After Lizbert and Batternugget vanished I tried to keep calm and keep doing what I was doing, wait for them to get back. But as the Bugsnax ran out and people got hungry, it was a bit hard to keep doing that… especially with all the noise...

( You’re referring to the fight? )

More or less yeah. I could hear pretty much everything from inside my cabin: Everyone ganging up against Cromdo, Chandlo calming down Snorpy from a panic attack, Filbo doing his best to keep everything together (can’t blame the guy for trying). Good hearing is both a blessing and a curse I guess… but the worst no doubt was Wiggle.

( What was up with Wiggle? )

Well, I do like her music, don’t get me wrong. But since coming to the island I can’t exactly handle being in the same room with her. She tried getting me to write her some song lyrics for exposure, kept peeking at my writing notes to steal my ideas, and worst of all, she stress yodels. And around the time the two vanished, she certainly had a lot of time to practice. I already couldn’t handle the fighting, but her singing was the last straw, so I slipped out in the middle of the night before I had to hear another note. Erm... you don't think she'll sue me for defamation if you put this in your story, will she?

Any info on Lizbert?

Duuude, Lizbert is no doubt the coolest person I know--probably ever! It’s like she jumped right out of an action movie and I could actually talk with her! She was really nice, telling me about a lot of her previous adventures in her free time and supporting me when I was going through writer’s block. Of course, she wasn’t around too much when she was out hunting snax, but Doctor Batternugget was around!

( Did you and Doctor B.N. get along? )

Yeah Miss Nugget was really nice! She was usually quiet when Lizbert wasn’t around, but after keeping her company one day and helping her sort supplies we got to talk a lot. She even volunteered to read some of my story drafts in her downtime--without me asking first too!! Plus, she also was a good resource to go to when I was writing about… more graphic details regarding Grumpus anatomy. I know a lot of people say that they might not come back, but I know they’re out there somewhere I know it! I mean come on, an adventurous explorer and her nurse girlfriend? That just SCREAMS main character plot armor! Plus, it would seriously suck if I finally find people eager to read my work on their own, then they just vanish from my life altogether… Please be okay Miss Batternugget…

Tape’s almost dry Brandy, gotta wrap this up soon!

Oh thanks for the interview! First one I’ve ever gotten, certainly a learning experience! (Maybe I could make a story entirely using interviews, that could be cool). I’m just sorry for talking your ear off. Hey, I know you’re kind of a solo worker from watching you run around, but if you’d like I can try and help with editing this story when you head back to the mainland. Free of charge too, I know you guys at GNN aren’t exactly treated the best. Not to mention it would look really good on both our resumes if we collaborated for this kinda story!

#bugsnax #wiggle wigglebottom #brandy brittleshoot #elizabert megafig #eggabell batternugget #my writing #my writings #my oc #my ocs #twi talks #((god it's been so long since I made a new OC since Twi #Bugsnax has really helped me out in getting the creativity flowing again #also I must make this clear:#B U N G E R))

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flooffybits · 4 years ago

Text

Making a Video

Idol: Kim Minji (Dreamcatcher)

Request: Nope

When your girlfriend invites you to her performances, you get to see more than what everyone else does. But dragging you to said shows, you didn’t expect to be in the middle of all the chaos.

Author’s note: This is just a funny idea I came up with. If you haven’t watched Sahara, you won’t understand what’s gonna happen, so I suggest watching that first 👌

“You girls are insane.” You mutter under your breath as Siyeon laughed and patted your shoulder, a little too hard for your liking, while Bora shoved the camera into your hands. “Oh, don’t be a spoilsport. It’s for fun!” The shorter female stated before she was looking around the room until her eyes landed on a certain purple haired bunny.

“Jiu! Come here!”

At the sound of her name being called, Minji looked before she walked over, smiling as she got nearer then wrapped her arms around you as soon as she was close enough. “What are you doing?” She asked after pressing a kiss to your cheek and Siyeon pointed to the camera you were holding.

“We’re going to make a music video.” She stated proudly and your girlfriend’s face scrunched up in confusion while you shook your head at her. “They want me to film you girls for Sahara since it doesn’t have an mv.” You explain and, to your dismay, her face lights up at the idea before she’s jumping up and down in excitement.

“That would be so cool! I bet Somnias would be so happy if we made one.” She cheered, and as if the sound of their fans’ name was a calling, the other three walked over with curious looks on their faces and you know that there’s no way you can get away from this.

Especially when your girlfriend was Kim Minji and she stared at you with those damn puppy eyes and the cutest pout she could muster.

So when they still had time before performing or after performing, they would have a sudden burst of inspiration before you’d find yourself behind the camera just to film them.

“You’re really good at this. No wonder Jiu unnie is always asking you to take pictures of her.” Gahyeon commented when they reviewed the footage and your girlfriend’s cheeks flushed. “I do not!” She denied while you stared at her with your brow raised, making her whine while hitting your arm. “You should be on my side!” She protested before Yoohyeon and Bora laughed at her childish antics.

“But Y/n unnie takes really good shots.” Yubin interjected. “If I wanted to get my photo taken, I would ask her.” She added with a shrug and Minji nodded her head. “The perks of dating a photographer.” She said proudly, making you chuckle then shake lightly pat her back. “Well, she does treat me when she’s dragging me around for pictures.” You tell them before Bora bursts out laughing when your girlfriend sighed.

“You’re lucky I love you.” She muttered and you flashed a cheeky grin. “I know.”

“Stop hanging around Siyeon and Sua so much, they’re rubbing off on you.” Your girlfriend says while crinkling her nose.

You were surprised, to say the least, with how the staff and managers even joined in on their antics that they were included for the chorus where they thought it would be a good idea to just bang their heads like complete maniacs.

Another day with your girlfriend and your crackhead friends, you’re situated somewhere at the back so that you wouldn’t get in anyone’s way. One of their editors was seated next to you as you worked on the girls’ video, having him guide you and suggesting with how you should edit everything.

Just as you saved the file, Gahyeon was running over to you and grinning before the camera was thrust into your hands. “We came up with another scene!” She cheered happily, and you hated that she was too cute to refuse. “What is it, now?” You ask her and she tugs at your arm to follow her where Bora was already waiting.

You notice Yoohyeon was sound asleep a few spaces away and wonder just what they were planning if she wasn’t included. But you remember never to underestimate Kim Bora’s mind when she began to happily tell you what they came up with and soon, your phone was used to play the song so that they would be in time with it.

“Make sure to really throw her down.” You playfully told the youngest as you prepared the camera and Bora stuck her tongue out at you. “We’ve practiced this. I can take it.” She states sassily while you rolled your eyes. “Sure you can.”

She gives you a playful glare in return. “Just film.” When she and Gahyeon had gotten into position, you readied the camera in their direction whilst Yubin played the song for Bora’s verse. You kept the camera steady despite wanting to just laugh with how shocked Bora’s face looked the first time. It looked like she wasn’t prepared for Gahyeon’s sudden move that she ended up laughing instead of lip syncing. “You alright?” You asked while trying to stifle your laughter and she pointed at you. “Not a word.”

“You said you were ready though.” Yubin said instead and Bora groaned as you gave the younger girl a high five. “I was! It’s Gahyeon’s fault because she didn’t warn me!” She protested and the said girl looked dumbfounded when she helped the dancer stand. “You said you were ready. I didn’t think I needed to warn you!” She complained when she stared at Bora and you lightly patted her head. “Don’t worry, Gahyeon, it’s not your fault.”

“Anyway!” Bora said before any of you could add more to her embarrassment. “Let’s try that again.” She said while you laughed and Yubin replayed the second verse while you began to film them. This time, they were able to successfully do the scene while a staff threw a blanket over the dancer when she pretended to pass out.

When she saw that you were all finished, Minji came up to you and hugged you from behind. “Can I have my girlfriend, now?” She asked playfully and Siyeon pretended to think, tapping her finger against her chin. “Why do I even bother asking?” Minji suddenly said, taking the camera from you and then passing it to Yubin so she could pull you away and hog you to herself.

“Finally! I feel like I’m sharing you with all my members.” She sighed exaggeratedly while you smile and push her hair behind her ear. “Well, you basically are, given that they’re your children.” She pouts before clinging to your arm and throwing her legs over your lap. “But I’m your girlfriend. You should be spending time with me.” She protested and you couldn’t help pressing a kiss to her lips.

“I know that, but you agreed to this special clip and had me take the videos.” You remind her before nodding to your things that was packed neatly with the staff’s. “I’m even editing for you when I’m not even working for your company.” You teased as she cuddled up to you. “But you love me, that’s why you’re doing it anyway.” She grinned triumphantly, earning a laugh from you as you nodded your head. “I really do.”

She smiles more when she leans into you and her hand rests on the back of your neck when she kisses you. Her lips are soft against your own and luckily, their performance was over so you didn’t have to worry about ruining her makeup. And it wasn’t like she was letting you pull away any time soon, either.

“We get that you’re absolutely in love, but do you really have to do that here?” Bora piped up and Minji forced herself to pull back while groaning. She turned to look at her friend with a grimace and the dancer just laughed. “Come on, we’re heading home, anyway. You can be gross at the dorm.” She quipped and you chuckled while patting your girlfriend’s leg so you could both stand.

It was safe to say that none of the girls decided to bother the two of you when you got to the dorm that day.

“Are we finally finishing this?” You asked when Yoohyeon held your arm while dragging you out to the hall where the rest of the girls were. The camera was held in your hands, making sure not to drop it. She didn’t even give you the chance of putting your bag down when she came into the room and started to bring you to where you were now.

All six of them were still in their performance outfit and you were so confused because they had to perform after a while. “Come on, we have to hurry.” Gahyeon told them. “How are we even going to do this?” Yubin asked confusedly. “I suggest that the oldest stay at the lowest tier.” Yoohyeon grinned and Siyeon stared at her while Bora gave her a shove.

“Let’s just play rock, paper, scissors.” Minji said and you already started to record them just for the sake of extra footage.

In the end, your girlfriend, along with Gahyeon and Bora, ended up in the lowest tier, followed by Yoohyeon and Yubin, then finally Siyeon at the top of their pyramid. You honestly don’t know whether to laugh or to feel bad because the four older girls were trying their best to look serious while both Yubin and Gahyeon looked as though they were suffering. As soon as the song ended and Siyeon hopped off, Yubin slid off of the youngest’s back and to the floor while they exploded into fits of laughter.

Finally finished with the song, you all went back to their waiting room and you grabbed your laptop from your bag to finally start editing the whole thing. While they performed, you would be able to finish this and show them by the time you all got to the dorm.

“How is it coming along?” Minji came bouncing over to you and resting her head against your shoulder when you connected the card in. “It’s almost done. I’m just adding a few things here and there.” You tell her before feeling a kiss being pressed to your cheek. “Okay, but don’t forget to watch me, alright?” She grinned, making you chuckle before pinching her cheeks. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

You may have watched their performances countless times by now, but to see them on the stage with such a demanding aura around them was something you could never get tired of seeing. And the way your girlfriend managed to look both sexy and intimidating, especially when the stylists decided to give her a backless suit, you couldn’t tear your eyes away.

And she loved the fact that she was the only one who could have your attention.

When their performance was over, they stayed for the announcing of winners and you used that time to finally wrap everything up, so that when they got back, you were ready to go.

“It’s done? It’s done?” Bora didn’t waste time pestering you when you got off the van. It looked like the ride back was enough for her to gain back her energy. Minji went to grab some clothes to change while also deciding to lend you some because she figured you wouldn’t want to stay wearing jeans the whole day.

While she did that, you set your laptop on the table for them and opened the file, checking if the video wasn’t corrupted and that it was the final copy. Bora was squealing like a child when the six of them appeared on the screen and she recognized it as the intro. “Guys, hurry up!” She started yelling, already taking her seat at the center while the rest piled in after putting their things in their rooms.

You stood behind the couch, arms crossed while they all focused on what you made. It was honestly like a high school project, if you were being honest with yourself, but it turned out alright, judging from the giggling and awed sounds the girls kept making.

When the little edit of Yubin as a sun popped up, all six of them ended up cackling and the younger girl gave you a thumbs up.

“Wow, Y/n, I’m sure Somnias are going to love this.” Siyeon says when the video finally ended, smiling when she saw the behind the scenes footage their managers told you would be nice to include. “Yeah, you did really great with this.” Yoohyeon praised and you rubbed your head sheepishly.

“Well, this is for you girls, and you all did a great job. It’s only right I did you some form of justice with this.” You say and Minji reaches for your hand before squeezing it. “Thank you!” They all beamed and Yubin took charge with the laptop, since they would need to send it to the company before it would be uploaded on their YouTube channel.

Minji pulled you over to the loveseat and grinned as she kissed your cheek a few times. “I have an awesome girlfriend.” She claimed and you laughed as you pulled her closer to peck her lips. “I think you’re talking about yourself.” But she shakes her head before resting it on your shoulder.

“No, really. You didn’t have to do all this just because we asked you to. Sua was even worried once because she thought you might be annoyed with all of us.” She explained and you hummed while running your fingers through her hair. “I was never annoyed. In fact, I love being able to do these stuff with you. Even though I can’t be on camera with you, it’s nice to at least have a sense on your daily life as an idol.”

Her gaze softened when she looked up at you, cuddling more into your side as she let out a sigh of content. “And this is why I love you so much.” She murmured before feeling a kiss pressed on her hairline. “I love you, too.”

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #dreamcatcher #dreamcatcher scenarios #dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher jiu #jiu dreamcatcher #kim minji #jiu #jiu scenarios #jiu imagines

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aggresivelyfriendly · 4 years ago

Text

Tryst-Chapter 10

I did it! I finally edited this thing. Still not completely happy, but they are, so 🤷‍♀️s! If you enjoy let me know. I love a like, reblogs are love, and anons are lifeblood! 😘!!

Tam

Inglewood

There seems to be an equilibrium they have reached, Helene decided one balmy afternoon home alone of her tiny apartment patio. She pictured it like a piece of a Johnny Cash song, them walking the golden line in the middle of U.S. streets. If they were to veer either way the emotional equivalent of oncoming traffic would flatten them.

Though she supposed that line felt pretty roomy, like an estate broker's favorite word, spacious.

Maybe it's a tightrope, and any imbalance means they smash upon the hard, unforgiving ground.

Helene had convinced herself that this was her own conception, that her lover, her boss, her Harry, didn't feel it as well.

Until she heard the album.

She'd been at the Paris listening parties, so she'd heard snippets, and she'd been in the studio a time or two, so she had heard rough stones being polished to diamonds, chord progressions and roughed out lyrics and melodies. That was all up until this point.

Helene was offered a choice, the whole of staff was, to hear the album early or with everyone else.

She had declined. Because she had a very clear picture of what it was about, who it was about. It stung. Not because she was unaware of his sorrow, or how he missed her, the other French girl, the one worthy of homage, but because, she had been there too- with him too. Every step of the way and through Paris and Rome, and Japan and Australia too.

It hurt.

As much as her eyes were open, muscle memory of the drill, the words cemented on her brain to console herself. He was in an open relationship, Helene was not in that relationship, she was simply a reason for the unbolted window. Always making cameos, never the headliner.

So, the album, as great as she kept hearing it was, would be confirmation of her role, or lack thereof. She wasn't ready for that truth.

She'd better get ready. Helene would be hearing it soon no matter what, and seeing him. It had been a little bit since Cancun, but the show was going on, and she was involved, expected. It wouldn't do to cry over her lack of lyrical odes in front of the fans, they all knew her name and face, and she wasn't so good a liar they'd believe a disclaimer of happy tears.

Before the first show went on, her own show needed to get on the road. It was time for her to break a leg, or her heart as it were. Her set up was optimal for a breakdown.

Empty hotel room, qui Tissues on the toilet seat, qui Full hot bath, qui Goblet of red wine, tout a fait.

Helene was as ready for heartbreak, or it's residue if that's where she was now, as ready as one can be.

Her clothes are easy to quit, sweats and a TPWK tank exclusive to crew. The water is hot, her skin will redden to match her tear streaked face.

The level of melodrama she's reaching for this is impressive to even herself.

"Allons-y" she mutters and presses play.

And Clairemeant, she loves it. From first cord, she can imagine being in his stupid convertible driving to Shanghri la. Helene wishes he had played this when they went, a moment of California dreamin. She knows the next couple, as everyone does, in his world at least. Soon the whole world probably. They were radio besties, not just friendly.

It's the next few tracks where her preparations pay off. The tears come. For him, for her, and for Helene herself. The worst part isn't even her own pain; the waterworks are for Harry. She can hear his broken heart and bad decisions.

God, she hopes he does not count her among those.

But She, She is a new place to be. It's exactly what she would expect him to make and miles beyond expectation.

Then Sunflower, god, is it ridiculous to feel like there are glimmers of them? If kraft services counted as kitchens. It's the toothpaste. It's the fact that on their first go, they didn't know each other. Not really. She was his employee. She knew him, intimately, from all the watching, much less creepy than it sounds when it was her job. But she was somewhere between an insider and an outsider. Always an observer, never a participant was the lot of a photographer.

Except when Harry pulled her into the shenanigans, onto his lap, or some other harmless flirty gesture she couldn't forget.

Helene never lived in a canyon, though all of Paris seemed to rise around her some days. That one was nothing to do with her, and after a couple songs reprieve her heart seized all over again.

Helene loved that he'd made a song for his motto. It had all the silly he made cool. Even if he broke her heart sometimes, she loved how her kindness grew watching him cultivate and sow his own. The harvest was in the venues, and her heart.

After that happy high, she's not ready for the closer. Though she suspects she may never have been, no matter practice or preparation.

Fine Line throws her, thrills her, and makes her think.

Is it her? Is it them? Is it like most of the rest, Camille?

Helene is aware she is simplifying. Music isn't exactly clear in its inspiration or intention. There may be shades of her throughout.

In this last song, she feels more than shades.

Had they ever been anything besides a fine line? Somewhere between one thing and the next.

She hesitates to think something more, that denigrates their friendship. Romance isn't necessarily superior, that's a bought and sold fairy tale she has tried to unlearn.

But, if she is honest, being together would have felt like more, better. Because she wanted him, wanted him to want her.

Some of the lyrics trouble her.

She didn't think she was unknowable though. Maybe at the end, when she let him open her completely everywhere, and then promptly hopped over into one territory and only tread their old familiar line accidentally once.

Could she ask him? Would she? Tomorrow?

Non, that's not like her. Helene's direct in desire, but not in definition. Probably why they got stuck walking the line.

But they were alright. What a comfort that was.

Whatever the truth, the inspiration, when she heard it live, tomorrow, she would pretend or hyperextend. Believe. She'd believe it was about her.

———————————————————————————

Helene always forgets what it's like to see his face in person, be in a room with him. On paper and in her mind when she is away, she can rationalize. 'He's handsome. But not extraordinary. You know better looking men, have shared more time with some.'

And then he is nearby, and her entire body is aware of him.

Moreover, so is everyone elses. That is his power, super prowess. He has this energy that galvanizes every libido in range. The hell of it, it turns on a dime and you want to ruffle his hair just after riding his face. He's so sexy and frustratingly endearing.

His gap between adorable and sexy is so small, and bowtied to perfection.

"What's new pussycat?" He whispers near her left shoulder before she can even fully take him in.

"Enfin!" She could see the rear of her brain case. Harry turned her body into his hug and was responding to her exaggerated exclamation.

"See Jeffrey, I told you she had the best eye roll!" He giggles a bit and holds her long, in that way anybody else probably couldn't get away with. Someone might rightly think they'd tasted every part of one another if he didn't hold everybody like this.

Helene takes the opportunity to smell him. He always smells good to her, even his stink. Sweat drenched and ball's empty or dandied up and stage worthy, he tasted like her first meal out when she returns home to Paris.

" I cannot believe you remember that conversation." She said into his neck.

It quelled his laughter.

"How could I forget the look of disgust on you and Sarah's faces. Too good to not use!"

"You gonna use it on Sarah too? Or would Mitch put your nose between your pretty eyebrows?"

"Don't mock my eyebrows!" He pulls back, but she's still within the walls of his body, bracketed by his arms. "They just grow like this."

"Qui," she snorted. "Don't forever I've photographed you being groomed, ma belle."

"She's just cleaning them up! I swear."

"She just took your man card Harry." Jeff 's snickering.

"He didn't have a man card since long ago." She and Jeff laugh together.

"Heeeey!" His offended face goes soft around his smiling eyes. He tilts her body away from the small backstage crowd and she wonders where they are going. She's still going; her toes have all but left the ground while he leads her with his whole body.

She follows her heart.

Helene always feels small, but he makes her feel deliciously tiny. He leads her down a corridor, past people he waves to and she would have stopped to hug in other circumstances. She'd missed this circus family. Finally, she just has to ask, "Harry, where are we going? I don't have my equipment." If he wanted her to capture the moment, she needed a camera. He did this sometimes, this drag to a piece of personal history or set up he saw well in his mind's eye. His enthusiasm always contagious.

He didn't exactly have that energy going on now, he seemed nervous rather than excited.

"That's a bit unfortunate. S'ok though I only want a mental picture of your face. When you tell me." He pulls her through a door, a different dressing room from last time, which she realizes upon entry is actually an office.

"Where are we?" Helene asks as he positions himself between her and the door like she might make a break for it.

"Irving's office." He explains off hand. "Now tell me, what' d you think?"

"Quoi?" She can feel the screw of her face to the left. She has no idea what he could mean, she'd been so busy keeping up with his footsteps, she had no idea what he was on mentally. They didn't always connect easily, he wasn't always an open book, but she'd figured out how to crack him a time or two. It was easier with a camera at her eye, or both of them naked.

"Of the album, my album." He pinches his bottom lip and wrings his hands a tad.

"The album?" Her brain's slow. Why were they talking about this?

"You' re the only one who hasn't text me, or responded. That's included I mean."

"Included?" What?

"Please stop repeating me in one word questions, Helene!" He looks up and blows out a breath. "Did you like it? Are you upset?"

"Upset?"

"Helene!"

"Harry, lower your voice."

"Apologies." He takes her hand. "Now, did you like it?"

Ah, it was easy to forget how praise was like water on a neglected plant to him. He just wanted assurance that her love of his work would fill her photos again.

"Qui, clairement, it's gorgeous."

"And?" He looks, she couldn't quite place it, Like a puppy trying to sneak into your bed. Hopeful but preemptively scolded.

"And?" She opens her palms to him, subconsciously trying to release his nerves about whatever he's asking her opinion of.

"Did you hear it? At all." He rolls his eyes, but it was so clearly at himself that Helene takes no offense. "Hear us I mean?"

"I didn't want to presume." She starts after a pregnant pause.

"Presume, tournesol, presume." He leans close and she can really smell him. Not pungent like Mexico after hours of sun, or after a night on stage. But, days lazing or loitering in Italy under warm skies.

She shakes her head at him. She felt a spark of recognition that she'd classified as hope during that song, but, "that one is not all me."

"No, not entirely. It is an idea, a feeling fleshed out, but an ode none the less." He assures her, all eye contact and vulnerability.

He's closer now, enough to touch. And she could have? Would, but she had a more important question, a deeper song to address. Though she had to admit, most days Sunflower was her favorite. "Am I in any others?"

"Glimpses. Though one is mostly you." He gives her an encouraging smile, mischief around its edges.

She sucks in a breath. She really wants to know, she's become so much more that she was since she met him. Braver, kinder, richer in many ways. Could she be direct as well? What would Dominique, her most forward friend, do? "And the ending. That feels like a beginning?"

"Fine line?" His dimple's out. Helene might feel upset that he's a cat and she's the mouse if he wasn't a Tom to her Jerry.

"Qui, fine line?" If she just lifts her hand, his jaw will fit just so, always has., or the beautiful curve of his shoulder.

"That one," he's smiling like the time he presented her cake on her birthday. "I realized in Mexico is you!"

"Not until Mexico?" Now she didn't want to touch him, not even his fine shoulder.

"I knew while writing, the glimpses of you, but only one part was, her, was" he swallowed. She hoped it wasn't still pain slicing his throat as he forced the feeling down. She'd even take regret. "Camille" he took her hand. More friendly than the conversation. "The rest, the hope, is you." The nerves were foreign to him when he was with her, he didn't wear them well, his only awkward fit.

Helene let's her eyes fall closed while his breath wafts over her face. That was more Harry. The taste of caffeinated mint. The familiarity messes with her head, it's a bit false but never forced.

She wants to accept his compliment, even though he's undercut it with an inconvenient truth. Their relationship was not one. They were friends, they slept together sometimes, he was her boss and her muse. But they were never together, and "that's nice, Harry, but, forgive me if it seems, well convenient."

"Convenient?" Oh, his brows are as tangled as his growing curls. Damn him.

"Me belle, it's hard not to notice who is not here, but everywhere on the album." He narrows his eyes in response to her observation. "And I also have someone else to call baby."

"You're with someone?" His pretty brows nearly touch above his nose.

"Qui." It was a bit of a stretch, really. A man she is dating, fucks occasionally. They're not exclusive, and she likes him, Rene, but no more has developed With anybody else, since she gave Harry Carte Blanche with her body. She had liked him, them, a few of them, thought they had potential. She supposed they still did, it just hadn't developed. Helene has never pushed them down the hill.

It hadn't stopped her from being with Harry in Mexico.

Helene talks about him now, hoping it will slow down the ball rolling from the top of the hill in Harry's mind. If he'a just realized he wrote about her and still believed sharing that notion just after she spent several hours marveling, begrudgingly, over his words to another woman, her clothes would fall off over one song for herself, well, he might be right. But she needed some kind of defense mechanism.

She's lacking a chastity belt, Rene's specter would have to do.

"How long?" He asks quietly.

"A bit." She wasn't going to give him details. That was showing him the chinks in her honor.

"Oh, ok, well, that's good." He clears his throat, looks at her with murky eyes. "I'm happy for you."

"I'm happy for you, as well." She hugs him, to touch him and reassure him. "This album, tour, will be a great success."

"Yeah, yeah." He says trying to believe it. "Now that it's out there, I hope so. But we are going to make it fun. You up for some fun, Helene? This time out?"

She's confused, last time was fun, but she supposed her life was changing so fast, she had no grand expectations to carry on her shoulders and no one broke her heart during tour.

That came after. He must be going into this round with a different attitude.

"Yeah, fun sounds good." He high fives her and she can't help but laugh at him. It turns into another hug, and all the distancing she'd done during this conversation ceased when he kissed her flaxen hair.

"Break, break a leg, Harry." He smiles, the nerves making it quiver just a bit as they go their separate ways.

—————————————————————————— The album closer is approaching and Helene is suddenly nervous. Sunflower kinda made her shake, luckily it's such a damn happy jam, her feelings didn't sweep her away. It's already been a magical night, and she knows the magic doesn't end with the album. Harry has some amazement up his pink sleeve.

His outfit had been distracting, not like Paris or Madrid, but it's so pretty and such a cute silhouette. Helene realizes while she is snapping away. It was distracting because she wanted it herself. It might overwhelm her small frame, but that pink would look good on anyone. He might loan it to her, Sarah and Mitch wore his clothes sometimes.

She's at least as close.

Closer.

He says something before he begins, and it's loud so Helene has to translate it twice, figure out his words and then think them in French. The song's started before she realizes he's said its a difficult song to perform for the first time.

She can't put her finger on why, but she feels for him, for herself. Her brow is knit up like that time she tried to make a Christmas scarf and the little piece of her heart she took back from him breaks free from its stitches and goes to him, right where he stands on his big stage.

The music starts and it's the build that gets her. Just like the first time. She admits she listened to this one repeatedly, Listen one- physical experience, listen two- listening for the glimpses she thought she had caught of herself. Listen three- cry time.

Helene does not want to weep, but it seems she might be in good company. Harry's doing his closed eyes thing. She teased him about that onetime.

"Is it easier to hear how good you are if you close your eyes?" She'd asked this from the head of the bed while he lay across the bottom rubbing her feet.

"What?"

She supposed it was a nonsequiter. "When you sing and when you fuck, you close your eyes sometimes. Is it so you can focus on the screaming?" She pushed him with her foot and gave him a flirtatious smile.

"I don't need to hear the screams to know I'm good." He'd smirked at her and she would have kicked him off the expensive high hotel bed, but he continued too quickly, "To be honest," oh he was serious now, "It's when I get emotional. Or I need to focus."

"Like to hit a note?" She likes his explanation. He keeps his eyes closed sometimes when he's inside her. She hopes that, she, makes him feel; she's too afraid to ask him about that though.

"Or to make you hit a note!" He'd dropped his emotional temperature quickly, grinned and tackled her. "Let's see if we can get you to a G7!"

She did not hit any whistle notes, her orgasm had actually been pretty silent, but the build up had been harmonious.

The conversation came back to her now. His eyes were definitely closed, as they had been during Falling, and a few other times. But, he'd said this was hers, theirs, and he seemed to be feeling, if her memory served, and she remembered so much about Harry, she trusted it.

And then, as her eyes are unquestionably about to spill over to wet the forum floor with her fellow Harry fans, his open. They find her like he's been tracking her all night, and that may be true, though that is more her job, to always be aware of him and his location. But she's rooted there now. She may never leave this spot, Because there is emotion in his eyes, it's not humid like hers, but it's intense.

He eventually shifts to connect with a paying customer, but Helene is a mess. She has to go back stage to collect herself.

She almost misses Stevie, and even if he wrote songs about her, Helene is fairly certain she would get fired for that. The rest of the show is a blur. She snaps it by muscle memory.

Helene also doesn't stay for the after party, it's all to much. It's a departure from her normal behavior, she would almost always stay, with her camera, and to be with everybody. Tonight she's planned to. She missed them dearly, she just couldn't after that moment.

Harry doesn't have that luxury, it's his party, which is why he doesn't knock on her hotel room door until 3am.

She thought she'd got away with it.

Helene's still awake, barely, and when she answers the door, she knows she's mussed. He's seen her like this before, he's caused it. She's too tired to care much.

"Harry," she sighs. "It's late, Cherie."

"You left, and I needed to talk to you." He walks in like he owns the place. She supposes he did pay for it. He just turns to look at her, and if she didn't already feel exhausted beyond measure, those eyes on her may have sparked the fire he lit long ago in her belly.

"Go ahead." The sooner he unburdens himself the better, she looks longingly at her bed.

And then he just sighs and says, "are we?"

She's doubts the face she makes is attractive, "are we what?"

"Alright? Are we alright?"

God, that's a major question. What they are is a shadow of existence, some half way place between what they could have been, what they should be, and then what they are. It a very strange set of loops, like the comparison charts from school. They are colleagues, no doubt, friends, thankfully, and lovers, occasionally. Do any of those designations mean they are alright?

Because she doesn't want occasional lovers. She's put distance between them because she wants more. Halfway is not alright to her.

"Helene?" Oh, she's just been biting her lip this entire time. She really wants to go to bed, but, they should get this done before tour. Does she tell him she wants to be the dead center of his life, or just leave it at they are alright and go to dreamland.

Either are scary in their own right and he's distracting.

He's wearing comfy clothes, the yellow shirt and large trousers she'd snapped him arriving at the forum in. The shirt hugs his body and it makes it difficult for her to pretend she doesn't want to be really open about her feelings. Sometimes isn't enough, not anymore, maybe not ever.

"Let's sit."

"Uh oh." Harry exhales.

"Uh oh?" She looks up at him.

"Is the next sentence 'we need to talk?'"

"Well, we do, or you wouldn't be here on the wrong side of the sun."

"Fair enough." He sighs and sits back, his head hits the back of the couch. He's stretched out, and her small frame would fit well between his hips and chin. She's tempted to do it, to straddle him. Then the talk won't happen, and all these things will be left up in the air. And she will be narrative adjacent, still.

But she's in his narrative, right? If the song is about her? Is that enough?

So she sits with him. "Harry," she takes his hand and he looks so hopeful. "What does it mean to be alright?" Helene is surprised by her own question. It's direct, perhaps not as direct as it could be. She's unsure what he's asking. Is he asking her for more of the same? Today's same, where they are flirty friends and colleagues. Or the alright of yesterday, where she's his friend and employee with benefit.

That's not alright.

Or does it mean something else, something more. Like the feeling after the build in the music, hopeful, open ended: a chance taken.

He finally yanks his eyes open, and Helene remembers he performed an entire concert and went to an after party. That he is center stage in many peoples life. Is she insane to want to be his locus? Harry opens his mouth, then closes it.

"I guess, I don't know."

Helene nods. It's not a surprise, he just wants harmony and everybody happy. He may not have thought beyond them being ok on the surface. He's not ready for the conversation she thought he was asking about.

"We're fine Harry. You're tired, you should get to bed." She stands to show him to the door, is suddenly back to wholly exhausted herself.

He's shaking his head.

"Harry's it's 330. We need sleep."

"I didn't like that you left."

"You don't get to make me stay at a party. It's not part of my duties."

He's still shaking his head. "No, I'm not saying this right. It's not alright."

"What isn't?" God, she's frustrated, wants him to be clear.

"That you don't want to be around me. I miss you." Well that's obvious for him, and wrong.

She closes her eyes. "Did you ever consider, maybe it's that I want to be around you too much."

"What do you mean?" He looks puzzled but there is light around his eyes, blue skies and clouds.

She sighs. Someone has to be vulnerable, Might as well be her. She knows how straightforward he just was must pain him. "I mean, I don't want to be with you at the party," he's cringing. "well, not just." She takes a fortifying breath. "I miss you too, but I miss what we could have been as well. And I can't," she could do this. "I can't just sleep with you when you are feeling lonely anymore. We are either friends or we are more. It's not fair to me. I can't walk the fine line anymore."

He's looking at their interlaced fingers. A drop hits her hand.

"Harry?"

"I'm sorry." He whispers

Her heart breaks. He doesn't want this. She tries to take her hand from his. Dammit, why did they have to do this in her room? She can't run away now.

"No, no." He looks up. Why's he sad when she's getting rejected? "I'm sorry I took you for granted, or made you feel like you were my second choice."

She'd not said that.

"I can read between your lines, Helene." He touches her cheek. "I had feelings for you, but I was already with Camille. And then, I was mourning. And it takes me bloody ages."

She wants to role her eyes. She supposes it's kinda true, but he was mourning his rejection.

"I've realized since then, my heart was bruised, but my ego was what got broken. And I wasn't in a place to offer you anything. Not until Mexico, but then things just got busy and we didn't talk."

"We never do." She purses her lips.

"We need to." He holds her chin in his hands. "So, I'm asking. Will you cross the line with me?"

God, her heart is swelling, and she's afraid to look at his face. Is he really asking what she is hearing? "Harry, amor, what does that mean? I can't speak in metaphors." She can, but it's trouble with him. He's a metaphor himself with his figurative edges and blurred meanings.

He sighs, chuckles to himself, and lets go of her hand. He cups her face and draws her eyes up to the tide pools of his. The tides in, he's teary. "I want to do it together, not have you cross the line hoping I follow, or me waiting on the side for you thinking you understood what I was asking for. But together."

She huffs, she stilll, always, doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about. "What line Harry?" She assumes when someone is holding your face gently you shouldn't be yelling in their face in return, but he is so frustrating. "I still don't know what you are saying."

He laughs at himself, or at her, or them. "I'm saying, we should do this, you and me. Like a real relationship. Not just when we are together on tour or meeting up for me to work. But you come home with me to London, or Malibu, or wherever. Or I go with you to Paris, and we don't leave."

"Are you suggesting we move in together?" She's smiling, finally. The edges of her lips would be at her earlobes if they could be. "You may want to ask me to be your girlfriend first."

"We've been moving at a glacial pace for years. But that's not really what I meant—"

"I know." She shakes her head fondly. "So?"

"So-" he takes a big breath. "Will you be my girlfriend, Helene?"

Oh god, this is what it feels like to look at the sun. To be the sun. "Yes!" It's a whisper, but full of emotion if not voice.

She's not sure why she is so overcome by it that she can't speak, but she can move, she's straddling his lap a moment later.

He laughs, "it's hard to kiss you when you are giggling." But he's vibrating along with her and his bunny teeth clack against hers just as much. His hand is in her hair and it's not until it slides down to cup her jaw that she can't laugh anymore.

Not when he is looking at her like that. His heart is in his eyes and her face is in his hands. Harry's eyes always sparkle, but the combination of mirth and awe shakes her like an earthquake.

The kiss goes better then, or it more closely resembles a kiss, in that their lips form to one another, going from right angle to straight line to acute in time. His tongue has always been devilish and she wonders if it's vocal training that renders it so.

She's more vocal than him, as always, and she's panting his name when his hand engulfs her throat before sliding her silk pajama top off her shoulder to kiss her neck, collarbones, the tops of her breasts. Her nipples stand high on her plum sized mounds and they always trill along the roof of his mouth deliciously. His other hand is around her hip and he's gripping it fiercely to move her over him.

She's halfway there on his question alone, but their venue seems a bit uncomfortable. Helene almost reconsiders her position on their positioning when Harry has that perfect mouth between her breasts and below and the back of the couch is perfect to hold onto while she arches back, back, back. She's bent in two when he pulls her up to his mouth.

This time she is getting his teeth. Why's he giggling again, this is serious business? If she could just concentrate, get him to focus for a moment, she can have her first orgasm of the night.

"Harry, Cherie." She tríes again, her tongue ready to slide over his lips and into that pattern that makes her shiver when his teeth block her again. "Please kiss me!" She's frustrated.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to move to the bedroom, girlfriend, but you're very focused." He's still smiling and her ire melts at the appellation.

Does she want to go to the bedroom? She won't have the back of the couch to hold onto, but she will have Harry.

She stands and drops her loose shorts. As is usual, Harry has most of his clothes on and she's suited up for her birthday.

"Alright." He breathes and she's in his arms and he's finally giving her the tonguing she loves en route. Her in the altogether seems to have finally got him from mirth to girth, pressing against her and filling the void at the apex of her thighs the way only he has.

She's happy Harry seems to have been enjoying their bodily arrangement as much as she is, when he sits on the side of the bed and maneuvers to the middle with her still draped around his waist. He's said before he loves how maneuverable she is, and she is loving her tiny stature at the moment too.

Her hands are pulling his t shirt free and tossing it away. She loves the golden hue of his skin, he's always a little tan, even in winter. The milk and honey of their bodies against one another always delights her. She goes for the button on the jeans she'd like for herself. They won't fit her, but he always fits, snug at first and then just right.

He kicks them free and then she's back on top of him doing the wiggle to get his inside her, pressing over the largest part before the pressure keeps up and then everything slips into place, the audible pop of his tip still her favorite part.

They both exhale, and smile into each other's eyes. Helene touches the corner of his eyes and they twinkle back at her. "Hi boyfriend."

He chuckles and she moans over the tiny vibration it causes. "You're ready then?"

He already knows the answer to this question. Helene braces her hand behind her while she nods and then his hand is beneath her ass flexing her pelvis over his own.

He really is her prince of rock and roll. She rolls up over him and rocks over his dick until he's closing his eyes and drilling her hips. He's split her open, bottom up and it's intense.

"Give me a minute." He chokes after less time than she expected.

"Too much?" She likes that the shoe is on the other foot, usually she needs a break from his unrelenting physicality, Harry the athlete in the bedroom as well.

She supposed it takes emotion to force Harry to a quick release.

She's keeps flexing around him until he puts his head to her collarbone and then looks up to glare at her. "You're walking a fine line!" He says before he laughs at his own joke.

"I'm not waking anywhere. I'm loving you." She let's that sit there while her hips are quiet. That's all she's going to say about that. He stares at her intensely.

"Let me see you love me, then." She likes when he gives orders, even when their sex is closers to making love than fucking.

Helene obliges him, caves her belly back and starts the ride again, notches her head next to his, like the teeth of zipper, so she can watch with him.

It gets her there, but he's a little ahead of her. He's stilling her hips again. "Stop." It's a beg.

"Just come bebe." She whispers into his sweaty skin.

"You're not ready." He protests.

"We have all night, you can spread me open, all. night. and all day tomorrow, and after." She smiles at him. "All the time in the world to know me!"

"Yeah?" He's gleeful like a kid finding tooth fairy money.

She nods and starts moving, directs his gaze down. The edge of pleasure closer than she expects. Harry is rarely wrong about pleasure. Helene's happy her climb surprises them both.

She reaches the peak and plummets with him on the rollercoaster of emotions tonight's brought. Screams with the thrill.

It's more than fine, the white light explosion behind her eyelids. They've found the right side of the line.

They'll be alright.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #Inglewood #fine line live #chapter 10 #halene #tryst

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i-am-just-a-kiddo · 4 years ago

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2020 content creator review

i was tagged by @vishcount as usual, thank you 💕 i answered the questions below the cut, and everyone that is tagged is there too, if you just wanna skip my ramblings and go straight down there. (also gosh i hope all the links work rip)

1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020:

this lan wangji oneshot, apparently. i can’t remember when i actually wrote it, but my ao3 tells me i posted it in january 2020. i remember i just wanted to explore lwj’s time of mourning and dive into his mind of that time, even if it made me eternally sad?

my most recent 2020 creation that is public, is the second chapter to this casmund/edmund character study fic i started writing in 2016. i did not expect to return to that but rewatching the narnia movies did that to me. i guess it’s one of those ever-returning fandoms

2. one of your favorite creations from 2020:

my niemo (nie huaisang/mo xuanyu) fic, no question. diving into this, i fully knew that this pairing probably has a tiny audience and honestly, i did not expect to churn out 30k for them. god. am still suffering because why the fuck did i do that to myself (and everyone reading). thank you vishie for standing by me all the time.

3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it:

my historical taegi AU set in silla korea - i don’t think it’s actually a new style writing-wise, but it was an entirely different process of creating. i did a week of only research, diving into amounts of academic texts and sources to figure out my frame and setting. it was so much fun and in the end, with everything i learned, it felt like the fic was only just the ‘by-product’ of my research. though i must say, writing the story itself was challenging in a very different way, by that i mean that the characters made me furious and yet i had to write it like that cause i like to suffer :)

as for gifset, am not sure? i can’t think of any so i am just linking the daechwita mv cause it’s iconic. i guess this mv is more joseon inspired, while my setting was silla somewhere between the end of 7th and beginning of 8th century; but it was the final straw to finally make me write that historical taegi au i always wanted to write with hwarang tae. also this mv inspired me to have yoongi as a tyrannical king cause why not amirite?

4. a creation to be proud of:

my wei wuxian oneshot during burial mounds; i had a lot of fun writing him and projecting all my nightmares onto him. i went in without a plan and ended up with something i am actually quite proud of? it gave me so much space and room to just...pour out my words and not worry too much about anything else.

5. a creation that took forever:

my post-canon wangxian adventure or qinghe chaos, as i lovingly call it. i think i started writing it in november 2019? not entirely sure about that, i only know it took ages. i wanted to create a whole new political environment, as it takes place somewhere around 70 years after canon (they wanna be immortal, shut up) and it was fun thinking of new challenges and new obstacles that face the new generation of cultivators. unfortunately i did not have the capacity to write a full blown political conflict. that’s why i never really incorporated all my thoughts into the story itself, but hey, if anyone has questions i have notes (and vishie, once again, is the most blessed person to plot with me, ily)

6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes:

am gonna measure this by kudos on ao3 in that case, which would be the aforementioned lwj oneshot Cold Moon, Long Nights Moon. I feel incredibly fond of it and i’m really happy that people liked it. it feels special somehow and i just want to thank everyone who read that and liked it.

7. a creation you think deserved more notes:

oh i wrote many fics that year for smaller fandoms, which makes me grateful for every single feedback i received. i think i had hoped my previously mentioned historical AU would receive more, but it’s okay because i still loved it.

another one is this princess sook myung/ah roh fic that i wrote for my ‘make hwarang gay again’ series. i finally finished this show and it furstrated me so much - the gay potential that went to waste, the horrendous writing for female characters. i liked the chemistry between ah roh and the princess, and yes i get it, it’s a rare pair and this fandom is kinda dead, but. the girls deserve their shine and love (though still, i am grateful for every single kudos i receive and i am still proud of it)

8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it:

i joined many new fandoms this year for which i wrote, but i want to mention my shang xirui character study for winter begonia, because it was very interesting to explore that? and i had fun too, it was one of the first things i properly wrote after my hiatus, so i felt quite proud. also once again, this fandom has way too little content and the show is underrated.

9. a creation you made that breaks your heart:

i wanna mention two here. first is this wen ning & song lan oneshot that was a pure joy and also very sad to write. i just love these two so much, and i love them together even more. i have many thoughts how much comfort they could give each other and believe me, i have many more that i want to explore in the future.

the second one is the mu nihuang & xiao jingyan oneshot i wrote for the nirvana in fire gift exchange 2020. it broke my heart, but at the same time it felt like something was healing too? it hurt at the pain both characters go through, but i also felt fond that maybe, they were not alone.

10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love:

hmm there are a few, i mostly want to mention my fei liu character study? it has no plot or anything, it is just an exploration of his mind and thoughts, which was an absolute joy to write and somehow so easy.

i also quite like the yyy series i started - maybe i can write more for these two because they somehow give me the feels.

11. a favorite creation created by someone else:

alright here we go folks:

first i want to mention my dearest @vishcount because newsflash!!! i am the biggest fan. of course i need to mention your wondeful, stunning, breathtaking masterpiece that is your xicheng novel (and yes it is a novel, i say so). it is still ongoing and you started it in 2019, but i need to mention it here because it truly is something that is lifechanging. i feel so blessed that i get the front seats and vip access to all the updates, to all your thoughts and ideas. you go through a lot with it and i am never not proud of you ❤️ another one i want to mention is this wei wuxian & mo xuanyu oneshot you wrote for me because i am still crying about it. i have no words. honourable mentions: your easter islanders (lan wangji and jiang cheng) and this xicheng soulmate au

another creator i want to mention is @the-cloud-whisperer and their nirvana in fire fic Heroic Woman（烈婦） , which is absolutely wonderful. i found you through your ATLA fics (which i adore) and saw you posting about nirvana in fire and this year, finally, i watched the show and was blown away. i love your other NIF fics too, but this one feels very special because i always thought li yang’s character was so incredibly fascinating. thank you for writing this 💕

for more other creations just look at my bookmarks on ao3, there is the untamed, nirvana in fire, yyy the series, hwarang, winter begonia and original sin (from 2020 and many more if you scroll further) please give everyone i mentioned love!!!!!

12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate:

oh boy here we go. once again @vishcount, @the-cloud-whisperer, @intyalote, @sassyassassy, @isabellaofparma, @passionpeachy, @finny-red, @guzhuangheaven @honeyiling, @holmesandwhatson @bloody-bee-tea, @leoyunxi, @gusucloud, @ohsehuns and many many more that must slip my mind.

all of you, consider yourself tagged in this game and even if we never spoke to each other, i greatly appreciate all of you and i want to give some love. if you feel like doing this, i hope you can have fun! 💕

#phew #another one done #all my usual suspects must be tired of me dfghj #but this is so lovely and fun #thanks dear #tag game #personal #2020 #writing

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firewoodfigs · 4 years ago

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(long post, but I’m gonna try and make journalling a thing in 2021 😆)

The first day of the new year was nice. :) I woke up to the sounds of rain crashing against my windowsills - a strangely chilly morning in this tropical country where it’s summer all year round. For a moment it felt like I was back in Canada again, all cloudy grey skies and whimsical rain - the perfect weather for introspection.

I started my day with a pot of hot green tea, then settled down by my reading lamp to finish a book that I’ve been putting off for far too long - Steinbeck’s East of Eden. I only had about forty pages left, but somehow couldn’t bring myself to finish it. I hate when books end because it feels like that little world I’ve created and compartmentalised in my head has likewise ceased, but the good thing about books is that you can always re-read them and immerse yourself in the same fantasy. (Maybe even a different one, if the same words lend themselves to a different interpretation!) But it truly was an absolute masterpiece: such a stunning, intricate exploration of humanity that tugged at my heartstrings and led me into still waters of reflection. I know that I will definitely carry this tale in my heart for a long, long time to come.

Afterwards, I had some instant ramen while watching The Queen’s Gambit. I’m not a big fan of watching shows usually because I often feel like they move too slowly or tend to miss details from the book, but this one is pretty exceptional. Like, the acting and the artistic direction are incredible - the constant juxtaposition between Beth’s traumatic past and her glorified present, and the exploration of the fallibility of genius were executed so brilliantly. Another thing that really stood out to me were the scenes where she’d hole herself in the toilet and rebuke herself aloud for weaknesses in her play and/or being weak, in general. I cannot begin to explain how many times I’ve done that to myself in law school for even the most trivial of infractions, the most minor of errors - Lord knows I’m my harshest critic.

I promised to try, however, to be a little bit kinder to myself in 2021. My perfectionism tends to be a bar to goodness and growth because sometimes I get so afraid that my subconscious keeps demanding that my first draft has to be perfect. But it really doesn’t. That’s what editing is for. And writing, like any other talents and passions, requires nurturing and constant practice. I saw a quote yesterday about how we cannot just sit around and magically expect to be Faulkners overnight, and that is so true. I definitely need to find a sweet spot where I’m not berating myself to the point of giving up, but still demand growth so that I can keep bettering myself.

In the evening I headed out to a friend’s for tacos, which were an absolute delight in itself. And then my bf and I got to walk his dog, who I am convinced is the most precious thing in the entire universe - maybe even more so than my bf himself (I kid... or maybe not) - and who is just such a gentle-natured darling. It began to drizzle, so she led us home and we spent the rest of the night playing Sherlock and Among Us with the rest. :) It was a very peaceful evening. For a moment I’d forgotten all about the fact that I start work next Monday and was simply content to bask in the Christmas lights, the heavy downpour and the anomalous chill that came along with it. Just... living in the present, enjoying the moment.

Now that’s definitely something else on my to-do list for 2020 as well. So often the beauty of the present tends to be marred by my worries and anxieties of the future, but I always remind myself of this quote from Scripture: “Which one of you, by worrying, can add another day to his life?” And when I look back at my life and all the times I’ve worried and fretted and cried, feeling like there was no way for us to extricate ourselves from this rut, this perennial cycle of debt and other things that have plagued me from birth, I am also reminded of God’s grace and providence that has brought me through so, so much. It would’ve been impossible to have done all of this by myself; I frankly might not have had the will to continue living if not for those things.

Talking about my lived experiences also ties in to the last part of my day - where I thought about how exclusive and inaccessible the poetry scene here feels. You would think otherwise, in a country of no more than 5-6 million folks, but no. I was ranting about this a little to my boyfriend: how it feels like a lot of the spaces within are reserved for the elites of society with silver spoons in their mouths and golden plates on their tables offering them anything they wanted while I was struggling to put food on the table at fourteen. Sometimes I also lament the fact that I didn’t have my parents to tell me bedtime stories, to encourage me to read and cultivate my vocabulary. Perhaps it’s jealousy, or inferiority, or a mix of both.

But my boyfriend, ever wise and supportive, offered me a different perspective. He made a fair point about how I still fell in love with books and writing regardless, and how literature is oftentimes only a harbour that the privileged visit because the marginalised, the poor are too busy working for basic necessities to even think about such things. To the ordinary blue-collar layperson, poetry is just frankly a frivolous sentiment that won’t turn itself into gold. I agree with this wholeheartedly. It’s one of the reasons why I always felt like I didn’t have time to write, and one of the reasons why my first job was at a library (so I could read as much as I wanted! For free!). Then he said, “But see, no one wants to read about the rich waxing poetic about how lovely and grand their sunny little island is. But people will want to read about your perspective - your poems of the brokenhearted clinging on desperately to their inner child, your poems about the poor working to make ends’ meet, your poems about your tangible struggles - all of those will resonate with the masses, for sure.” And I was like, well, that’s fair. But I certainly don’t express myself as eloquently as these people do. Next to them I’m like an uncultured swine who can’t even tell the difference between all the different forks splayed on the table.

His response was that people need to understand these things before appreciating them, and sometimes simplicity works best - a lesson that’s been drilled into us from the very inception of law school. And I was like, okay, fair, but deep down my heart was exploding with the sheer warmth of having someone so incredibly supportive of everything I do, even if it’s worthless in society’s eyes. I remember one night when I was telling him about how, as a twelve-year-old, I had a dream to one day study Literature at Yale. I would hole myself up in the library after school, feverishly flipping through books to expand my imaginations and horizons, my mental dictionary of words, dreaming about the day where I could escape all of this and dwell in nothing but imaginative worlds one day. Where reality failed me, I knew that I could always count on my imagination to transport me to somewhere safe and special, filled with joy and sorrow and tragedy and hope.

I ended up studying law. Not a bad thing, because as stressful as it was I really did enjoy the things I’ve learnt - international and constitutional law, especially - and it has certainly given me new, mature perspectives on so many things; taught me to argue with reason and objectivity instead of just emotion and passion and has led me to meet so many wonderful (also trashy, but I’m out of this hellhole) people. I just don’t like the fact that 80-hour work weeks are the norm and that there’s always so much to... read. If you gave me a piece of fiction I could happily indulge in it for hours, but sometimes judgments can be so ridiculously mundane to read, especially if they’re just itemising every single case on illegality from the 19th century. Lord knows I need at least two cups of coffee for that. Black, to be specific.

Anyway, I digress (as I always do lmao). My bf ended up researching all night until he stumbled across this Literature programme at Harvard - which frankly sounds amazing, but also unattainable. Which was what I said. And he was like, “Do I think it’s impossible? No. I think you have a very compelling life story, and you’re full of amazing stories within you to tell. And if you want to do it, I will support you wholeheartedly.”

Again, as is usually the case, I had nothing left to offer apart from muted sobs under my blanket. It still sounds absurd to me - unthinkable, even - but I am just so, so grateful to have someone like him support me through everything. Literally everything. This is the man who has spent hours tutoring me in the subjects that I was hopeless in in first year, because I was too busy tutoring random folks in economics and geography and catching up on sleep (in class, no less), who has patiently helped me prepare for every single mooting competition and watched every single one of them, who has seen me cry and admonish myself for being a failure (only to spend hours trying to convince me otherwise), who has celebrated every single one of my victories and losses - you deserve a treat, anyway! Let’s go eat something nice and put it behind us, for now! This is the same man who has so much passion for what he does, who is so darn good at it without even realising that he is (I wept when he won a mooting competition this year because I was so proud of and happy for him), and who inspires confidence and compassion in me every day.

I am grateful to share all our triumphs and tribulations together, and I look forward to starting a new chapter in life with you. :)

#this was a very long shitpost but if u made it to the end kudos to u!!! HAHAHAHA #also a rainy morning again so I am in the mood to ramble oops :')#might have spiralled outta control hehe #sorry to any1 who follows me for fma content LMAO #haven't been posting much fma content but I promise there is smt coming this weekend #maybe a new update of memento amare...#me being all dramatic: IT IS FINISHED *presses enter key with a flourish*

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the19thduckpotato · 5 years ago

Text

In the Shadow of a Smile (Pt 4)

Part 3

Toshi's thoughts rambled aimlessly again. Why did she have Izuku stay? Something to do with me? He grimaced. I really wish she wouldn't. I can take care of myself... Is that a fact, now? Listen.... Further thoughts were cut short as Izuku jogged up. Toshi's face split into a warm grin. "There you are!"

Izuku grinned back, falling into step beside Toshi (three short steps to each long one). "Hi!" He fumbled with the opening of the strawberry popcorn, munching on a few kernels. I wonder if he can have any... I know he can have sugar in small amounts, but... he does have his own kind of popcorn. Best not to offer n put him in the position of refusing, he'll sneak a few kernels of mine on his own if he wants some.

Toshi smiled down at his fan student son protege, amused by their comparative steps. He tried to shorten his own steps and looked about. "See any store you'd like to visit?" is it strange that I want to give him every good thing that he deserves? Am I allowed to do that? Well, i mean, I'm All Might, I can do whatever I like... not that I'd ever abuse that. He watched Izuku. It'd be blatant favoritism. But he deserves it. But that would paint an even bigger target than he already has on him. Which he definitely does not deserve. Toshi's steps slowed more as he let Izuku get ahead of him. I wish... And he squashed that thought immediately, startled that he even thought it.

Izuku looked around. "Aaahhh..." His eyes popped wide when he saw a certain storefront. "Ooh!! There!!" He bounced and pointed, though he quickly snatched his hand back as he remembered Pointing Was Rude.

Toshi's head snapped up and he squinted. What in the...?

Izuku turned and grinned up at Toshi excitedly. "Can we go there??"

The blond looked amused verging on jovial laughter. He almost teased Izuku about was there really a need for more plastic All Mights in the dorm? Just because you feel crummy is no reason to pick on the kid, even jokingly. He picked this store, now let's learn a little more about what makes Izuku happy. "Of course. I've been meaning to find myself a Chibi Aizawa eraser topper." He winked.

Izuku smothered a laugh. "He's underground, they don't make merch of him!" Wait what am I even gonna buy in here, they sell All Might merch, and I'm taking ALL MIGHT in here, that's so cheesy and weird! Can I just look at stuff? Will he think it's a waste of time if I do? Oh no, why did I pick this?? Because you were excited, that's why. Because he asked and you answered, now shut up and Deal With It. Hhhnnngg.... "Do... do you maybe wanna find somewhere else though, because I know it's probably weird and-- and maybe there's somewhere else you'd rather be and I'd 100% like to go with you n honestly I don't even know what I'd want to buy from here, I was just looking...." Izuku grinned and rambled sheepishly as they got closer to the store, both wanting to go in and very much not.

Toshi just casually steered his charge into the store without breaking his slowed stride. "Weird? I want to see what's selling. And who is." He wrinkled his nose. "I'm not overly fond of the whole marketing aspect of this job... but I get it." He picked up a plush grinning All Bean and half smiled. "Small mementos of the people you look up to. Reminders that mean different things to different people. If seeing my face plastered everywhere gave people hope, then so much the better." He didnt like the idea of some of his fans being denied that hope simply because they didnt have the money... but he also knew the heroing business was lucratively expensive. "--oop!" He pointed at a pile of gray scarves and grinned impishly. "Yessssssss."

Izuku gave a high-pitched laugh when he saw, then ducked and hoped no one heard him. He grinned back at Toshi and nodded. His gaze flitted around the store, landing on a Crimson Riot hoodie in a rack of clothes. "Oh! Kirishima would love that!" He pointed again.

Toshi picked up one of the scarves--it was much shorter than the real deal--and tossed it about his shoulders. He affected a regal pose. "What do you think?" he said, trying a droning Aizawa impression.

Izuku squeaked and hid his grin in his hands, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. He lifted his head, composure regained with a straight face.

"Blah blah, stop showing off, blah, I never get any sleep, blah, I have 20 cats and they're all named Mittens--"

Izuku's mouth twitched. He repeated the process. Shaking his head, he mumbled shyly, "Noooooo... we can't make fun of him...."

"I'm sorry," Toshi snorted, trying to look apologetic. "That was disrespectful." Jerk. Toshi's ears tinged red as he set the scarf back. "You know what I'm looking forward to?"

Izuku looked up curiously, surprised at how quickly Toshi put the scarf back and how sad he sounded at the end. "--Oh?"

"When shops like these are filled to the brim with green. Then I can be the big collector." If you even make it that-- "I'll be able to cite facts about my favorite hero, snatch up first editions, maybe get an autograph if I'm lucky." He smiled hopefully at his kid.

Izuku squeeeeaked, hiding his face in his hands one more time. He quickly flew to Toshi, hugging his arm tightly. Of course you can you can have so much more than that you can have me, right there, oh please let me still be there--

"Heck, I know just the people to talk to about--i mean, if that's the way you'd like to go. Merchandizing and all." Toshi shrugged shyly. "You're already making an impact now, just wait till you're well known. People will be demanding Deku merch, heh." He looked about the store, all the current heroes familiar and easy to spot. He blinked and saw different heroes now, the kids from UA. Not just Izuku, not just Class 1A, but all the students. He blinked again, eyes stinging. I want to see that.

"Whuh-wuh... uuuhhh... I mean." Izuku lifted his head from where it was hidden against Toshi's arm and blinked. "Yeah, I'd rather talk to your people than try to do it on my own, but..." You mean you want HIM to talk to them and you not say anything, like a shy little puppy.... ...Look, that's a long way off though.... He didn't contradict himself. "I mean, maybe let's cross that bridge when we come to it. I don't know if that's even legal yet, I don't even have my full license...." Can unlicensed heroes even have merch deals? I mean I'm not unlicensed but it's only provisional....

Toshi grinned knowingly. "I already know you're going to need merch. No rush, of course... but if you keep going at the rate you already are, well."

Izuku muffled a long wobbly squeak against Toshi’s side.

"And to think that lil old me got to be fortunate enough to be the Great Deku's first fan. Man," Toshi whistled. "Am I ever lucky!" And for what it was worth, he meant every word.

Izuku could tell, and the fact made his heart feel all weird and tied up all the sheepish brushing-off he wanted to do in long confusing ribbons mixed with thanks. "...But-- you made Deku, though... I'd be nothing without you." Well, not nothing... I'd still be a person. But I wouldn't be a pro without you. I'm still not there, yet, but I hope... one day....

Toshi gazed at him fondly. "Do you really still believe that? That passing you--" He paused, mindful they were in public, and gestured you know. "--the, ah, heroic torch would have been the same no matter who it was passed to?" "A Quirkless middle schooler? What are you thinking?! Such a boy could never serve as the Symbol of Peace!!" Toshi had coughed thickly but still proudly responded with, "He really has this burning desire to help people." And yet, Mirai had refused to listen, hanging up on his former partner. "...I picked you on purpose. And each passing week only reinforces my decision. Please do not doubt that. Deku exists because you exist, firstly. I just gave you a helping hand, that's all." He grinned and brushed one bang away.

Izuku smiled softly-- mostly with his eyes. He rested his forehead against Toshi's arm, trying to think of words that would both satisfy Toshi and yet still be true. "Not... exactly the same, no. But I think... the other children out there... have just as much... potential. As I do."

"They do." Toshi tousled Izuku's hair. "And would that I could help all of them the same way. But..." he held up one finger. "Power is a tricky thing. It has an effect on people and not always good. The most well intentioned person can still do terrible things. "So it isn't just a matter of being suitable. You earned my trust by not blabbing my secret. You inspired me to action when I believed I could do no more. You...well. You made me want to live again. Something that not even All Might could do. So who's the strong one now, eh? "Frankly, kid, I'll be honest--i don't think there's a whole lot of people like you out there. Don't sell yourself short."

Izuku gazed up at Toshi in wonder. He tried to think of something to say... his mouth twitched into a smile. "But I am short!"

Toshi just stared for a moment. S t a r e d.

Izuku slowly unsmiled himself. Not sad, but confused... "...Not funny?"

Then burst into a roar of laughter, helplessly trying to gasp, "well of course--heehee--next to me--"

The smile came back full force. Izuku burst into laughter too-- "Well YEAH, you're a GIANT!!" He looked up at Toshi with the brightest grin.

Toshi tried to regain his composure, looked at Izuku, used his hand to compare their heights, wheezed more laughter. "I'm onlyheeheehee seven fooahahaha oh no help--"

The laughter was incredibly contagious, Izuku hiccuping out noises that were a cross between a donkey and a chihuahua.

Toshi made a desperate noise at Izuku's noises, his laughter getting more out of control. Tears squirted out and he weakly grasped at his kid's shoulder. He was dimly aware others would be staring but the floodgates had opened and he could only ride the wave at this point. This marvelous wonderful wave.

Izuku's face was starting to hurt, but he was happy, SO happy. He tried his best to support Toshi but he, too, was a floppy noodle of hilarity.

Toshi fought to get himself back under control, his laughter finally tapering off into snickers, then slowing down to an occasional giggle. He took a deep breath and checked on his kid.

One last snort.

Toshi's eyes widened. Ohno. He clapped one hand over his mouth but his eyes still twinkled.

A tired giggle. Izuku enjoyed the feeling of being in the moment, still leaned against Toshi in a half-hug. He didn't dare look up, though, or he knew he'd start laughing again.

Toshi cleared his throat and casually thumbed the edges of his mouth. "Well now we have to get something," he grinned. "What's your pick?"

"Oh!" Izuku's gaze snuck toward the rack of jackets. "...Hmmm...."

Toshi's head followed his gaze. "Oh look, a denim jacket! Best Jeanist, you cad."

Izuku giggled, though he didn't quite get the joke. He stepped over to the rack, peeking through them and looking for-- well, maybe I can wear it... but what if Kacchan sees me? But... well, I can wear it in my room n stuff, at least. Or in places like this. As long as I hide it before I get back.... His fingers brushed over sleeves to check the texture and pushed gaps between the jackets to see if any were All Might-themed.

Toshi blinked and smiled, hands in his pockets. He waved at the few people who recognized him then returned to watching Izuku dig through jackets.

Most of the All Might merch seemed to have been snapped up already, but Izuku's face lit up when he saw-- "Ooh!"

"Hmm??" Toshi tilted his head and arched his neck. "What did you find?"

Izuku pulled a thick Silver Age-print hoodie off the rack, running his hand over the inside lined with a soft fluffy material. "This is great! Lookit!" He held it up and grinned, bouncing on his toes excitedly.

Toshi looked pleasantly surprised. "Well whaddya know!" He held out his arm for Izuku to drape it over.

Izuku placed it over his arm, still bouncing. "Can I try it on??"

"Heheheheh, sure, go on." He quietly made a mental note to get Izuku's size and dig into his limited edition wear later.

Izuku picked up the jacket again, taking it off the hanger (making sure to put the hanger back on the rack for now) and unzipping jacket, holding the ends of his sleeves and wiggling his arms in. It was a little big, but he could grow into it.

Toshi was definitely feeling the dad feels right about this time. His kid proudly showing off his jacket. The breath hitched in his throat for a moment. "Looks great on you," he managed with a delighted smile.

Izuku looked up, smiling brightly. He clapped his hands together in happiness, looking down at them with much interest when he felt how the parts of the sleeves covering his hands muffled the impact. After inspecting this sensation for a few seconds, he looked back up, asking with a shy grin, "So uh... can I, uh..." he ducked his head then brought it up again, "...can I have it?"

Toshi's eyes shone with joy. I finally get to spoil my kid! "I don't see why not! Anything else you might like?"

"--Oh!" Izuku's eyes and mouth went round. Surely that's too much!! I couldn't even think of anyth-- wait, yes I could! "Well-- actually... I was wondering if we could pick out some stuff for the others?" He thought of the Crimson Riot jacket, knowing Kirishima would love it, and wondered if he could find something of Kamui Woods' or even Snipe's for Shouji. "Not, like-- all twenty or anything... but maybe..." he bit his lip and stared into space, a plan formulating. "Maybe we could hunt for stuff, like, over a while... and save it until we have one for everybody? Would you like that?"

Toshi's entire face lit up at this suggestion. "That's a fantastic idea! And anything we can't find on our own, I'm sure I could dig up somewhere else." He shook his head in admiration. "You're one in a million, kid, you know that?"

Izuku tilted his head and gave a scrunchy, lopsided smile. "What, really?" For coming up with a gift idea? Everyone will be doing it come Christmas. A thought occurred. "Well, technically, I'm one in 7 billion...."

"Even better. And to think, you're my kid now." oh no wait, what did I just say oh no OH NO He stammered out a quick apology. "I-I mean...ah...err... what I mean to say, y-young Midoriya--" He could feel his ears burning.

Izuku went limp in shock, and his eyes grew wide as saucers, practically sparkling. His mouth started to wobble.

"Hey wait, nonono, what did we say about the waterworks?!" He frantically gestured at the boy, acutely aware of being watched now. "UH--"

Izuku shot forward, wrapping his arms around Toshi and squeezing tight.

Toshi stiffened in shock then relaxed his muscles, ruffling Izuku's hair. "Hey now..." I care about you I care about you a LOT and I know I'm terrible at speaking my true heart. I never told Master and lost my chance. I never told Mirai and lost my chance. I don’t want to lose my chance with you, I couldn’t bear it. "Kid..."

((Part 5))

#mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #in the shadow of a smile #itsoas part 4 #izuku #midoriya #deku #co-op rp #mander writes!#ducky writes!#toshinori #all might #dadmight #sunflower dad

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mellowmoonn · 4 years ago

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Let’s Talk - Writing Is a Process

I think it’s about time I share my story. My writing story that is. It’s nothing special, nor one that’s interesting, but there are some lessons I’ve learned that I think might be beneficial. If you would spare a few minutes of your time, you might just find out that you aren’t all that alone.

Third grade is the time stamp I mention a lot. It’s the year I like to say I discovered my passion for writing. One of the few English assignments we had for the week was to write a short story, a fictional piece. Little Moon dreaded this at first, grumbling over the fact they had no idea what writing a page long (wow, a page long) story was like. Then it hit me, and I spent hours a day thinking about it.

I combined my favorite planet, Jupiter, and the juniper tree I learned about playing Animal Jam. It was called “The Trip to Planet Juniper,” and I spent nearly a year writing about it. The story lay on the frayed and torn pages of an orange marble notebook, between nostalgic recollections of a vacation and new pet guinea pig. The spine is broken, Hello Kitty stickers taped down all over and my name written in fading Sharpie. I still have that book. It’s in the attic somewhere it doesn’t belong, but I’ll see it soon.

I remember filming and editing videos with my stuffed animals, the main characters, and showing them to my entire family. They, and my teachers, praised me for my work, which I remember to this day. The little notes a peer teacher, now a teacher, at my school had written, the excitement I had sharing my ideas with my friends. It was fun, until I stopped writing.

I don’t know why it occurred, but it did. My passion disappeared, somehow evaporating into thin air. It wasn’t until my new friends at the time introduced me to this concept of “ocs” that I began writing again. This was in middle school and with my growing obsession with fandoms and intense fan fiction writing, I never stopped.

Out of that time, my first real oc, Niko, appeared. I think about him a lot and how much he’s changed. The way he went from a notebook page to a thirty-three page google document in only a few years. The way his character has grown and how much I can relate to him.

The stories I write are fictional, yet semi-autobiographical monstrosities that brew and ferment in my brain for as long as they need. They’re how I express myself without being explicit or digging deep enough through my pile of issues. It’s the way I twist and warp real life in front of me that inspires me to continue on. Despite the hardships and roadblocks, I push myself to find ways around them because I know this is what I want to do. I want to tell my story in their shoes.

It’s this passion that makes me fight what I once hated. As a third grader I hated reading and would often falsify reading logs because I saw no use. I was three and four levels ahead of everyone else and doing just fine. It wasn’t necessarily my ego, but my complacency that doomed me from the beginning. I still find myself procrastinating when I wish to read, even if the book is amazing. Even if I now love to read.

What I find inspirational is the connection between reading and writing itself. I once heard the advice that you cannot be a writer without being a reader. I don’t know from who, but I believe it’s quoted from a famous author. Regardless, I find this point true to an extent.

It isn’t just reading that makes a writer. It’s reading, watching tv, listening to music, experiencing life. It’s living. You cannot be a writer if you do not live. If you do not take moments in life and romanticize them in a way that makes it worth living. If you do not experience the ups and downs. If you do not possess that drive for completion and success.

What you dream of is what you will achieve. Time is merely an illusion that we mustn’t take seriously. If you take twice as long to learn something as your friend, I’m proud of you. If you get up three hours late, I’m proud of you. If you finish your novel ten years after you started, I’m proud of you. The point lies at the end of the sentence. You conquered, and you achieved. That’s all that matters.

There are only so many stories of dragons and the end of the world human beings can tell. It’s the thought and distinct uniqueness of each writer’s personal experience with life that makes stories come alive. What they need and what they desire.

And I think that’s beautiful.

#writing #writer #writerblr #opinion piece #writing advice #writing tips #writing goals #growth #writing blog #writing help #creative writing

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buckysmischief · 5 years ago

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Sweetest Girl - 1

Scott Lang x reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: You were a highly trained assassin who needed the Avengers help. Tony isn't a fan, not yet. Steve really has all the patience in the world. Bucky is, again, waiting for his past to blow up in his face. And Scott, well Scott has a very important question for you. Sucks for him that you’re not much of a talker.

AN: thank you to @perpetually-tuned-out for helping me edit this @stuckonjbbarnes for your ideas and both of you & @valkyriesryde @sebbbystaaan for y’alls encouragement 🖤

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜

“The mission was to find out those agents were doing. Not bring back a random girl.” a man said. The voice sounded familiar, but it was coming from behind two way mirror.

“But she’s not random. I’ve seen her, she looks older but it’s her. Snow Leopard.” another voice speaks, a woman, this one you’ve never heard.

“This isn’t Snow Leopard, I trained with her before I escaped. I’d be able to recognize her.” the same man as before said, this time speaking Rusian.

Suddenly you realize who is speaking. You look into the eyes of your own reflection, knowing a piercing blue are looking back at you. “Long time no see, Winter Soldier.” That was all it took for Bucky to realize that he in fact did not remember what you looked like, because all you could hear now were them walking away.

It’s hours later when your door opens and Tony Stark himself is standing in front of you. “You’re YN YLN, or Snow Leopard if you ask the right people. You were taken by HYDRA at the age of ten, but you wouldn’t remember that. Not with all the tests and experiments they performed on you. I also heard you’d give Natasha a run for her money, but don’t tell her I said that. Did I miss anything?”

After a minute of ignoring him, Tony spoke up again “F.R.I.D.A.Y. bring her to conference room four.” Suddenly the chair starts moving, your wrists and ankles already being strapped down, and you’re quickly sitting in a room full of Avengers and some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. You take a moment to remember the details of the room: glass walls, two exists, Nick Fury on your left, Tony Stark on your right, and Captain America himself straight ahead.

When you caught his eye, he silenced the whole room and began to speak. “Everyone in this room has heard the rumors of the ‘Snow Leopard’,” he says while nodding his head toward you, “but only one can tell us the facts. And since Miss YLN doesn’t want to be forthcoming, Bucky will.” Bucky?

Your unspoken question is answered when it’s the Winter Soldier who takes Steve’s place at the front of the room, and begins to tell a room full of people your secrets.

“HYDRA has kidnapped one child a year for the past 20 years, if they were old enough to remember anything, their memories would be erased. They trained YN to be a child assassin, and when she turned out to be better than they expected, they experimented on her until she could hear someone coming a mile away if she focused.

She may be strapped down, but has anyone checked her for weapons? I’d be surprised if she didn’t have at least four knives hidden somewhere on her. Not that it matters, she’s already identified every weapon in this room. Including non-conventional ones” He was almost right about the knives, you only had one hidden. Every agent had a gun and each Avenger had their own personal weapons. There were also plenty of office items that could be used as weapons if they really needed to be.

Bucky took a moment, preparing himself. “A few years before I escaped HYDRA, they told me to train her in hand to hand combat. When I knew her she had 36 successful assassinations, which is a lot since she had not failed a mission. Those numbers are now both 57. For over a year now HYDRA has been looking for her, she just ended all communication with them one day.

Fast forward to last night, Wanda and I were walking back to the Quinjet after a mission and we saw her sneaking onto the ship. She had to have been running from someone, she would have heard us if she was paying attention. Wanda knocked her out while I flew us home”

Everyone was quiet, processing all the information they were just given. None of it was wrong, and you were surprised he remembered it all so perfectly. Bucky quickly sat back down, and Tony took his place.

“Now, Miss YLN, would you like to add anything?” He wanted to know what you were running from, if it would be worth the trouble of keeping you here.

You sat there for a moment and debated on being a smart ass or telling them the truth, you didn’t trust a person in this room. In the end you found it pointless to hide the truth, “I was at a HYDRA facility one day to get mission details. I waited for 30 minutes before I got impatient and listened closely for my handlers voice. When I found it, I could hear his conversation. Someone was talking to him about putting me under again and adding something to my brain. I wasn’t chancing it, so I pretended to go to the bathroom and I’ve been running from HYDRA ever since. I was hiding from two when I saw the Quinjet land, and when it was safe I ran right for it. My intention wasn’t to take it if that’s what you’re thinking, I was looking for help.”

After hearing everything, you were moved to sit outside the glass walls. Watching them all discuss the information and decide your fate. It didn’t take long before you were brought back in to hear what was decided. Steve once again stood in front of you and spoke, “Everyone here agrees that your skillset is impressive and would make you an asset to the team, we also have no reason not to believe your story. We have all decided that if you decide to be apart of our team, we can keep you safe. If you don’t, you’ll be taken to The Raft for your crimes.”

There was no other choice, you were going to have to be apart of this team of idiots. You soon would learn to live with others, but you also got to have a full nights rest. It also included learning how to cook actual food for yourself and others, though you would always eat by yourself. Even in training, you only interacted with you teammates when it was necessary. Everyone had gotten used to it and they didn’t want to force you. You weren’t causing trouble and that’s really all they could ask for.

About three months into your stay at the compound you had gotten into a routine. Steve wouldn’t let you on missions until you talked to one of the teams many therapists, it was an easy decision to skip your session everyday. But today was different, instead of giving you your morning inspiration speech, Steve let you know there would be a guest staying with us for awhile. Scott Lang, or Ant-Man. Not knowing who either of them were, you brushed off the information, promising not to try and kill the guy, and went about your day.

Later that afternoon, you’re in the kitchen making yourself lunch when you hear a new voice. Must be that Scott guy. What you didn’t know was that ever since Scott had heard about you, he had questions. One, how do you live with so many people who do so much dumn shit and not laugh at it or even pay attention enough to judge them? But no, he knew what he was going to ask you about.

Scott was not shy, when he walked in the kitchen and saw you he just went for it. “Wait, who’s this?,” looking at Sam, “Oh yeah, the newest assassin. Is Stark making a collection?” You then turned around and crossed you arms over your chest and leaning on the kitchen island, curious to see how far he was going to take this.

“So, are the rumors true?” after raising an eyebrow, Scott continues, “Are you really always ready to kill someone?” he then rests his elbows across from you on the island, chin on his knuckles.

Now you don’t know if it was the question itself or the way he presented himself, but you were caught off guard. You looked down and laughed, upon looking up you put on a serious face and asked, “Do you wanna find out?”

“I don’t know what everyone is talking about, you’re totally not scary.” Scott then turned to the team to see the look of shock written over everyone’s faces. “What?”

You walk away while they’re distracted, but stay close enough to hear them.

“That’s the most that girl has talked to anyone since getting here.” Sam spoke what everyone was thinking. “You come in, not using a filter at all, asking her about being a damn assassin, and get her to not only SAY something, but LAUGH.”

Sam was right, you hadn’t said more than “Okay” or “I promise”, and that was just to Steve because you had to say it to Steve. You decided you would have to pay closer attention to this Scott guy, why was he different?

🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜

Permanent tags: @sociallyeneptbarnes @valkyriesryde @buckysdumbmetalarm @rogvewitch @infj-slytherclaw @whimsicalatbest @readeity @nea90sweetie @aestheticrelated @pinknerdpanda @justabitoverobsessed @imsoft-barnes @actualdpshuri @goalexis123 @https-bucky @agentpeggybarnesfanfics @justmebeingtheweirdmeiam @screaming-fridge @geeksareunique @rhymesmenagerie @brokenthelovely @ivoryhazlewood @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @mushyjellybeans @sebbbystaaan @rayche776

#scott lang x reader #scott lang imagine #mcu fanfic #reader insert #assassin reader #marvel #sweetest girl

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rksevngah · 4 years ago

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❥ ･｡ﾟ sooyoung’s first vlive

aired: august 7th / length: 1 hour

mentioned: @rkmiya, @rkwendy, @rkmeiqi, @rkhaseul, @rkcheri, @rkxroyal, @rkdoyexn & @haknyeonrk

before pressing the live button sooyoung wondered if anyone would be there, sure her teasers had been up and now even the song and music video was out, her music video that word felt odd to her but it was now her reality. looking at the phone screen she had asked around how to set it up, live -- her first greeting with fans and the public as heartz' sooyoung.

sooyoung took a deep breath and then exhaled.

「 🔴 heartz white bird, sooyoung is not live 」

like that it was up, she looked nervously at the screen waiting to see if anyone would arrive and slowly she could see comments in the chat.

"hello," she says a little nervous at first, "hello, it's me ha sooyoung~" she manages to calm herself down and smile brightly into the lens, "i don't know if anyone remembers who i am but i am sooyoung, heartz's newest revealed member. previously i've been on the mgas and also on the sn project, for those that watched that on youtube last year." it does feel a little awkward now that she was sitting there, by herself just recording herself as she talk

she tries to watch the comments, to see if there is anything being said but it is going fast and she can't tell how many is watching but it didn't matter how many were there, the number didn't mean anything to her, "thank you all for being here with me."

"let me try and read some comments..." she squints her eyes a little on the screen, "KiMichi-ssi asked what my music inspirations are, i'd say whitney huston, chichi's nara, spice sunbaenim's and bell," she nods slowly, her music taste hadn't really changed much since the mgas but they were classics.

"hotsoostuff-ssi," the username made her puzzled for a moment before continuing to their comment, "unnie, please say ... what does that mean? does anyone in the comments know?" she continued to look until she saw someone say what it means, "mahal ko kayo," she smiles happily, "for those that wondered it means i love you, in filipino~ imagine having fans from the philippines. thank you for supporting us."

it was quite the overwhelming experience for her, never had she had a meeting like this with fans before-- she had usually just met them on stage ( with the exception of the high five event during the mgas ), "the chat is moving so fast, hold up..." she spots a comment asking her to sing the chorus of her debut song and she feels slightly embarrassed at this but she clears her throat and does a slight vocal exercise to make sure she won't mess up. then she starts singing the first chorus for those that are watching her , "♪ dari tteugo... sonyeoneun sonyeone sonyeo."

sooyoung continued to read the comments, there were so many different ones ( good and bad ) but she mostly noticed the good.

"ah, i know," she suddenly bursts out, "i was in iceland to film the music video for let me in, iceland was so pretty... incredibly cold but so pretty, the night sky was so colorful with the aurora, i have a picture on my phone. i can post it to Instagram later so you all can see it but it was seriously so beautiful. if anyone want to travel somewhere, i recommend iceland. i was mostly cold while filming because i was wearing the red dress, right-- red dress and high heels but thankfully the stylist unnie's had a parka and heat packs ready for me between the shoots. i was so jet-lagged the time we filmed the music video but thankfully it came out looking pretty in the end. the director and editor edited it well, don't you think so?"

' unnie please dance change for us, ' when sooyoung spotted the comment she stopped talking, "ch-change?" she says, stuttering as she remembers the awful dance she had done for her mga audition.

the fact that it had even gotten aired back then ( she really would never live that down ), "i think you'll be disappointed that it won't be as comical as back then," she laughs while hiding her face. sooyoung got up from her seat and grabbed her own phone, looking around for the music on it to change-- "don't get upset?" she muses playfully at the audience through the lens and when the music starts, she fast forwards it to the point that everyone wants to see but this time it isn't as comical. it's ( somewhat ) improved because she had after all improved even if it was just a little. when it was over she sat down and looked embarrassed, "it wasn't that bad right?"

the vlive continued on like this, fans asking questions for her and coming with requests or kind words -- and each time she saw a positive comment, about anything regarding her debut, her improvement or skill, in general, she continued to say thank you and thanking them for being there and supporting her.

"unnie, are there any idols you are close with or want to get close with?"

which idols was she close with indeed, "well i am close with the and*roma girls, not the new additions since i left around the time that they joined-- but yes, sunmi unnie, wendy, kaeun and meiqi~ oh also luxe's cheri, i've known her for quite a while." she nods slowly, "i am on good terms with most of the per_se members because we did the sn project but especially haknyeon, since we did the mgas together-- he was very helpful to me then. then there is also k.arma's doyeon, i am close with her--" sooyoung thought about if there were anyone else but there weren't anyone that came immediately to her mind, "as for someone i want to get close with. rather than get close with, wouldn't it be nice if i could sing with eclipse's haseul sunbae? that is what i've been thinking, haseul sunbae-nim is such a good singer. it would be an honor to sing with her, oh and convex' royal sunbae nim, too. it would be awesome if we could all sing a song together. i can’t leave out wendy either, i’d love to sing with wendy again.”

this was how the time was passed, answering questions and singing songs upon requests. if she wasn’t familiar with a song she would look up the song on youtube-- sooyoung enjoyed herself overall but she had told herself she would only do it for an hour because she needed to get some rest in. then her phone started ringing and she pouted slgihtly, her one hour was up.

“everyone, i have something to say... i have to go,” it felt like there were thousands of comments coming in at once, sooyoung couldn’t read them all but got the gist of what most of them contained, “i have to go, it is getting a little late and i still have things i need to practice for, please don’t stay awake too long everyone.”

sooyoung looked into the lens and waved , smiling widely-- “byebye,” she says before turning off the live stream.

#❥ ･｡ﾟ solo ༄#❥ ･｡ﾟ heartz ༄#❥ ･｡ﾟ vlive ༄#wc: 1206 #[ this is q'd

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years ago

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Title: Rumor Has It {17}*

Chris Evans x Famous Reader Uriah “Riah” Tyler

Warning: Plot, Heavy cursing, HEAVY, HEAVY ANGST, Mild Time Jumps, MILD NSFW, LOTS OF WORDS, Triggering Sexual Assault Content

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY STRESSED!!

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY TEXTBOOK SEXUAL ASSAULT CONTENT BY DUBIOUS MEANS ON A MENTALLY INCAPACITATED INDIVIDUAL!!

Word Count: 6K

Summary: You and Chris have been married for four years after a whirlwind romance. You are both happy and trying to navigate marriage in the public eye while balancing your successful careers. In the entertainment industry, not everything is as it seems, the flash of a camera lens impairs vision. As scandal and flashing lights put a strain on your once fairytale marriage is it possible your Hollywood marriage can stand the test of the rumor mill?

**Inspired by a video seen of Chris and his co-star Ana De Armas on their press tour for Knives Out at TIFF where she kept touching his chest and face standing about five inches apart.

NOTE: DO NOT COME FOR ME.

**Loosely Edited/Proofread**

**Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤️❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Chris-

In the last two weeks, he’d become a shell of himself. His life drastically changed. What was him working and traveling almost nonstop turned into him having a lot of time on his hands. Instead of traveling and having no time to be the husband he needed to be, he now had all the time in the world. He found it ironic now. Every time he stepped into your shared bedroom, he saw you everywhere. You were in the décor, the scents that still lingered around, and your items strewn around the room.

Every time he looked behind him or around a corner, he expected to see your smiling face. When he closed his eyes, he expected to feel your soft caress against his jaw or your full lips pressed onto his skin. He expected it, but the expectation was not reality. His reality was far different. His days now consisted of doing his best to keep on top of work obligations even though mostly everyone understood his need to take a step back from anything work-related. If he wasn’t distracting himself with work, he roamed around the house, being haunted by happier times. If he wasn’t glued to the bed staring out at your side of the bed, he was beating himself up over the fact that he’d caused his current reality and wishing he’d done so many things differently.

His mother stayed in town to be his moral support and moved in with Scott. They said it was just to be there for him, but he knew they didn’t think he was in any state to take care of himself. They were right. He barely ate, didn’t sleep, kept to himself, and found the sustenance he needed in beer and Whiskey. He didn’t care if they had no nutritional value; it was all he cared to ingest to his mother’s dismay. She cooked all his favorites from childhood, but none of it enticed him. What was the point, he wondered. He didn’t want lasagna or beef stew or meatballs marinara. He only wanted you.

When he pulled himself out of his internal turmoil, he was sitting outside of Christiano’s house and twisting the knife in his heart deeper. He wondered what was going on inside, wondered if you were laughing with him, or letting him hold you at nights. He couldn’t get the image of you kissing him in your hospital room or the elevator out of his head. Every time he closed his eyes, it was what he saw, and from there, his imagination went rampant until he was filled with fear that turned to rage.

He’d stay in front of Christiano’s house for hours just staring at it. He didn’t trust Christiano as far as he could spit. He knew he was up to something, and he felt that somehow if he kept an eye on things, he couldn’t pull anything. At least six times, he found himself speaking to a police officer who was given an anonymous tip that he was sitting outside the house. He knew it was Christiano who’d called them to report it, and he did it to fuck with him. The first two times, he was given leeway, but the others he was told to move or else they’d fine him. He now had more than eight violation tickets because he refused to move.

If it wasn’t the cops that told him to leave or threatened fines, it was Christiano’s security who always seemed to come out like clockwork every hour threatening him to leave or else. He wasn’t afraid, and his refusal to move showed it. He knew the asshole was somewhere inside either peeping through a window or watching on the video feed like the Lord Farquaad he really was. Every chance he got, he made sure to give the house a middle finger.

Every time he called you, the majority of the time, you didn’t answer. Instead, it was Christiano who did. He always sounded like the cocky fuck he was. Every chance he got, he goaded him into losing his temper, and when he was irate and fired up, he’d end the call. When he called, and Christiano didn’t answer, it rang endlessly. On a few occasions, you answered, but he was so surprised by it that he never found the right thing to say. What did you say to your wife that didn’t remember you in any shape or form? He could say he loved you or missed you. He couldn’t apologize. He couldn’t talk to you like you were old friends. All he could do was sit in silence with the knife twisting deeper until you hung up.

The doorbell snapped him out of another hour of aimless staring into space. He was alone tonight. Scott and his mom were at Scott’s house after he blew up at them, telling them to leave him alone. It wasn’t his finest moment. Slowly, he trudged to the door with a bottle in his hand; it was his normal accessory now. As soon as he opened the door, he saw Ana’s smiling face. He couldn’t help but sigh out. He’d hoped it was you.

“Hi, Ana.”

She gave him a once over then frowned. “You look horrible.”

“Gee, thanks,” he said before he turned to walk away. The clink of her heels on the marble was the indication she was following him. A few moments later, he dropped onto the couch and brought the bottle back to his lips.

“How many of these have you had?”

“Lost count. What’re you doing here? I’ve told you that you don’t have to keep coming here.”

“I know I don’t have to, but I thought we were friends.”

He didn’t answer; he just studied her trying to access her motives.

“Friends don’t let friends go through a tough time alone. I come bearing a home-cooked meal and company.”

He sighed again while taking another swig.

“I have plenty of food, and I don’t need the company.” It was rude, but it was honest.

Ana frowned before she sat beside him on the couch. “Look, I know you’re going through something really tough. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I don’t think you should lock away and—wallow. You have to keep going.”

“Ana, I appreciate you coming by these last two weeks with food and checking on me. You’re kind to do it, but it’s unnecessary. I wish everyone would just give me some space. Everyone hovers and tiptoes, not wanting to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing as if them avoiding the huge elephant in the room makes it so I don’t see it. I see the fucking elephant. My fucking wife is not here! My wife has no fucking memory of me. As far as she’s concerned, I’m some stranger from the street!” His frustrations were bubbling to the surface.

She didn’t speak for several moments after that. He was glad for it. Lately, he’d been looking at her with a new suspicious eye. He had all the time in the world to see things that either didn’t add up or just came off strange. He never thought Ana’s behavior was suspicious before, but now everything had a hint of awkwardness. He’d begun to wonder if you’d been right all along, and she was harboring some crush on him. Before, he saw her friendliness and willingness to help and be around him as a kindred spirit situation, but now, it was possible he might have had been wrong.

“Chris–,” Ana began before he cut her off.

“It’s not a good idea for you to here like this. The paps are camped out a block down and have constant eyes on the house. The last thing either of us needs is for you to be snapped coming in or out of here. Honestly, I think it’s best that we stay clear of each other by giving each other some space.”

Her jaw dropped for a split second, and along with it, he saw the anger flash through her eyes. As quickly as it happened, it disappeared. She took a deep breath and brushed her slick ponytail back as if there was a hair that was misplaced from the perfectly done style.

“Chris, we’ve done nothing wrong.”

“That’s not what it looks like to the public and the fans. Twitter is on fire over this. My name, your name, and Uriah’s name has been trending for two weeks. This is all anyone can talk about. They all think we’re having an affair.”

“It’s not true, though. We’re not fucking each other, so who cares!”

Her shout was loud and shrill. This was the first time he’d seen her lose her temper, the first time he’d seen a crack in the perfect demeanor she always displayed. Again, Ana brushed her hair back as she cleared her throat. In seconds that perfect façade was back.

“I’m sorry. This is stressful for all of us,” Ana offered.

“Then, space is definitely needed. I’ll walk you out.” With that, he stood and walked out of the family room toward the door. Ana didn’t immediately follow; several moments passed before she even entered the hallway. As she approached, he could see her disappointment and annoyance.

“Chris–,” she began.

“I know Ana. I just—I’m angry and frustrated and honestly at my wit’s end. I don’t want to live in this reality anymore.”

She must have sensed there was nothing else to say, so she nodded. He opened the door for her to walk through, and once she did, he promptly closed it. It hadn’t even been a month, and he was already falling apart at the seams. He had no idea how much longer he could go on in this new reality.

The alert for his phone sounded in the eerily quiet house. As he approached it, he expected it to be another update from the private investigator he was paying to look into everything or even his mother or Scott checking in for the umpteenth time today. When he saw the ID as “Jackass,” his eyes nearly got stuck in the back of his head from how hard he rolled them. As he opened the message, his heart dropped.

MSG Jackass: I thought it was a good idea to get Uriah out of town so she could properly heal.

“Son of a bitch!”

He was in his car in seconds though he knew he’d been drinking that day. As he sped to Christiano’s house, he didn’t feel impaired. That text sobered his ass up in record time. He was in such a sobering mind-frame that he obeyed every light and traffic sigh though his instincts said to run every light he came across. As he drove, he used the audio recognition in his car to call Christiano back to back. Each call he placed was ignored, and he knew it was him ignoring it rather than missing the call.

When he pulled up outside of his palatial home, he pounded on the gate.

“Christiano! Open this fucking gate!”

He didn’t feel the wrought iron underneath his hand, or much of anything besides anger and fear.

“Open the gate! Uriah!”

He saw two burly security guards approaching the gate as if they had all the time in the world.

“Where is my wife!?”

“You again? Look, man, we’ve told you that you’re not welcome here,” the one with the goatee croaked.

“I don’t give a fuck if I’m welcomed or not. My wife is in there! Do you hear me? She’s my wife. Where is Christiano? Tell him to bring his pathetic ass out here!”

“If you don’t stop banging on the gate, we’re going to have to call the police again.”

“Call the police! Where is the son of a bitch!”

“He’s not here.”

The two guards looked back, revealing a slender woman dropping in designer everything. Her strawberry blonde locks were framing her face that looked sad.

“What do you mean he’s not here? Where is my wife?!”

She approached the gate nodding to the guards silently telling them to back off.

“I’m Christina. I’m a friend to Uriah.”

“Christina—White?”

She nodded.

“Where is my wife?”

“She’s not here. Her and Christiano left an hour ago,” Christina informed.

“What! Where did they go?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Look, I told him it was a bad idea. I told him that he should keep her here because, at the end of the day, she’s your wife. He didn’t listen. He never listens. He’s always been a fool when it comes to her,” Christina divulged.

“So you’re telling me he has my wife somewhere in this world, and no one knows where she is or going?”

His panic quickly raised. He’d never felt this out of control in his life. The pounding of his heart echoed in his ears as he turned his back to the house.

“He won’t hurt her if you’re worried about that. He loves her too much for that.”

“Son of a bitch!”

~~~~~~~~

-Uriah-

You walked through the airport toward the gate to board the waiting private jet with your hand planted in Christiano’s and your shades on. You could feel the eyes on you, and you even felt as if those who watched you were whispering about you. It shouldn’t have been anything alarming you’d been in the public eye for a few years and knew how this felt. The only thing was this felt different somehow.

“Is it me, or is it like they’re whispering more than usual?”

Christiano quickly looked around before he shrugged and squeezed your hand.

“Nah, they’re just blown away by the most beautiful woman in the world.”

You smiled widely and allowed him to press a kiss to your forehead. Once you got to the gate, Christiano greeted his flight crew and did all the talking. You liked how he always took control of a situation. It meant you didn’t have to worry about a thing when you were with him. Over the last two weeks, the two of you had been wrapped in a bubble at his house. You didn’t go out or even make an attempt to do anything but spend time with him. For some reason, you felt as if you hadn’t been together in months. Almost immediately from your release from the hospital, you began to feel sick as if something was off with you.

On a whim, you had a security guard bring you a pregnancy test which came out positive. You had no idea what to think or how to feel. You knew you’d always wanted kids, and the thought of kids with Christiano was something you’d thought about over the years you’d been together. You knew you and the baby would be well taken care of. When you told Christiano, he looked speechless, and for a few minutes, you feared he didn’t want the baby, but he assured you he did. From there, you were in this elated bubble at the thought of impending parenthood with the man you loved.

It had become apparent to you that you were missing some time in your memory. The therapy sessions that Dr. Diallo suggested was more than therapy for people involved in traumatic accidents. You’d pieced together that there were holes in your memory. When you asked Christiano about it, he filled in what he could, always stressing how much he loved you and how happy you were together. You didn’t doubt it. You knew he loved you. You remembered that there were a few times you’d suggested a break from each other because of the intensity of that love. It was always ion the back of your mind, but he was the perfect man toward you.

“Ready beautiful?” Christiano spun you to him, pressing his palms against your ass, pulling you flush against him. The touch felt familiar but also foreign as if somehow it wasn’t right.

“Of course.”

“I can’t wait to get you on that beach.” You smiled and allowed him to kiss you. This kiss wasn’t quick or timid as the once from the last two weeks. Christiano’s tongue delved into your mouth, tangling with yours unexpectedly. Though it felt strange, it also felt normal. You couldn’t wrap your head around the competing feelings and senses.

When he pulled back, he retook your hand and led you through the gate to board the jet. In a few short minutes, you were rolling down the tarmac and wheels up, gliding through the air to some surprise tropical island. You allowed yourself to mellow out drift to sleep. As you slept, your dreams were strange. You were in places you’d never been before, seeing faces you’d never seen before and having conversations you had no recollection of until you were sucked into a black hole. The darkness clung to you, but your hearing was that much more in tune. As you began to panic, the sound of a familiar but unfamiliar voice comforted you and spoke the sweetest words.

“I love you, Riah.”

“I don’t think anything could have stopped me from marrying her. It was inevitable.”

Whose voice was it, you didn’t know. The only thing you knew was you liked it.

When the jet landed, and the chauffeured car pulled up outside a beach house, you were exhausted and in need of a bath and a nap. Your nap on the jet wasn’t enough, especially since it left you highly on edge and confused. Christiano’s beach house was gorgeous. According to him, it was a new addition to his collection of properties, one he said he didn’t visit much but knew you’d like. He gave you a quick house tour before you finally got to take your bath.

As you sat in the tub, the sound of the breeze rustling the palm trees, and the chips of the birds mixed with the soft crash of the waves onto the sand outside lulled your senses into a mellow state that had your mind completely blank. This was a first. Since you woke up from your accident, your head always felt as if it was reaching for something. You didn’t know what it was, but it never stopped, not even when you slept. When you slept, it only seemed to intensify its search. This usually meant you awoke feeling as if you’d never slept.

With your brain quiet and your muscles melting inside the water, you finally felt yourself beginning to enjoy your surroundings. Time stood still but flew at the same time. Before you knew it, Christiano was standing over you holding a towel.

“You’ve been in here for a while. Are you okay?”

“I’m great. I think I dozed off.”

“Are you ready to come out?”

You nodded and stood in the tub. Christiano’s eyes widened as they slowly roamed over your naked, dripping body. He didn’t move, and the look on his face was one you didn’t recognize. You worried you’d already gained weight from the pregnancy, and he didn’t like it.

“I know I look—different—the baby–,” you began before Christiano quickly wrapped the towel around your body, holding you against him.

“You’ve always been the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life, and you will always be that woman,” he whispered while staring in your eyes before he pressed his lips to yours to scoop you into his arms.

Christiano intensified the kiss as he carried you through the house. When he placed you to sit on the bed, your heart lurched, and it felt like panic or fear. Christiano pulled back, but before he could speak again, a phone rang. He sighed out and assured you he’d be back before he walked out. Relief filled you, and that was strange to you. You didn’t understand why you felt relieved the moment had been interrupted or felt panic or fear once he put you on the bed.

Pushing it to the side, you went through your after-shower routine and dressed. When you reemerged from the bedroom, Christiano was placing plates on the table on the balcony that overlooked the beach. The two of you had a quiet dinner.

As the days ticked by, the two of you enjoyed everything the island had to offer. You went sailing, snorkeling, sunbathed on the beach, ate, and enjoyed each other’s company. There were several times you caught Christiano’s eyes on your body and even a few times where you placed his hand on your belly that was beginning to make its appearance. When he touched your belly, his eyes always looked sad, but it was a look that was quickly gone to be replaced with his smile. When you brought it up, he assured you he was just worried he wouldn’t be a good father. His admission made melt. He always came off so self-assured and confident in everything he did. It was your turn to assure him he would be an amazing dad because of how he took care of you.

Every morning he prepared your breakfast. A breakfast that always consisted of a part of the food groups from the food pyramid and four pills he identified as a prenatal vitamin, Iron, Vitamin E, and Vitamin C. You found it sweet that he wanted to take such good care of you. It was a side you’d loved about him since meeting him. Every time you kissed, they got longer and longer and more intense than the last. No matter who initiated the kiss, you were always the one to pull away from it.

Something always felt off. Something inside of you wouldn’t let you get there with him, and you didn’t understand it. He’d been nothing but good to you. He hadn’t mistreated you or done anything hurtful that would give you right for the pause. Still, every time Christiano’s lips touched yours, your psyche fought back. Excruciating pain usually always followed with an echoing scream in your head. By the time a week had passed on the island, you could tell Christiano was beginning to get frustrated with the constant back and forth though he swore he was fine and wanted you to move at your pace.

You found your hands always on your burgeoning stomach, just tracing along it, envisioning the baby inside of you. You’d thought about kids in passing, but never as if it would actually happen. You felt as if you should have been terrified, but you didn’t feel any fear. You felt content, ready. You now loved to spend mornings just lying in bed, feeling your stomach, and envisioning life as a mom. You couldn’t believe this was life now, but you wanted it more than anything.

“Ready for bed?”

You turned around from the vanity you sat and saw Christiano toward you. He wore no shirt and sweat shorts that were low on his hips. He looked good.

“Yeah.”

Christiano took your hand, kissed it, and led you out of the vanity room to the bedroom. Once inside, the two of you slinked underneath the covers. When Christiano slid to your side and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, you hesitated but only for a few seconds. With your hesitation, Christiano brought his lips to your temple to trail kisses down the side of your face to your jaw and down to your neck. Once there, he capitalized on knowing your spot and teased it with soft kisses. As he continued, you both remained frozen, unable to move. Nothing was preventing you from moving, but you felt as if you couldn’t.

When Christiano’s lips dropped to your cleavage at the swell of your breast, you clutched the sheets in your hand for dear life.

“Are you okay?”

Nodding vigorously, you did your best to keep the panic out of your eyes. Cristiano kissed you gently, coxing your tongue to play with his. When you allowed him in, Christiano’s tongue wrapped around yours as he sucked it. In a matter of seconds, he was on top of you using his hands to caress your exposed thigh. The hand you envisioned was not his, though. In your mind’s eye, you saw a large hand gripping your thigh before it pushed along your skin up to your hip to pull down your underwear.

As quickly as you envisioned it, it disappeared, and you were underneath a hardening Christiano. That fact was what had you pulling away from him. When he looked at your face, he must have seen everything you felt. The disappointment in his eyes couldn’t be hidden. Christiano sighed, dropped his head, then nodded as he rolled off of you to lie on his back while staring at the ceiling. Neither of you spoke. You didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was small, a whisper.

Christiano didn’t respond right away. You weren’t sure he would. A full minute ticked by before he spoke.

“It’s okay, little dove.”

You sighed, hearing his nickname for you. Relief flooded you.

“Let’s get some rest,” Christiano suggested ending any conversation.

You knew he was frustrated with you. How could he not be? Glancing over to him, you saw he still laid there on his back, staring up at the ceiling. The look on his face was unreadable. Slowly you rubbed your belly and closed your eyes. It was quickly becoming a comforting mechanism for you, one you found yourself doing more and more since your arrival on the island.

The next morning you woke up alone with Christiano nowhere to be found. You didn’t know what to think, but you didn’t feel any panic. You felt relief. It was yet another thing that you didn’t understand. Why did you feel relief knowing he wasn’t there but panic when he was close? As you ate breakfast, your thoughts drifted. You thought about life before waking up in the hospital, this new life you found yourself in, and the one that was waiting in the future. While you felt as if you were getting back to normal, you always felt like none of this was normal. You didn’t feel normal. The ringing of a phone brought you back to reality and sent you on the hunt for where it came from.

You found the phone in Christiano’s bedside table.

“Hello?

The line was silent, but you just knew someone was there. You repeated your greeting, but your voice was lower than before.

“Riah.”

You didn’t know if it was the name or the way the voice sounded, but your heart raced, and your belly fluttered. You felt something familiar but unfamiliar at the same time. Somewhere deep inside of you, you knew you’d heard it before. You knew this was not the first time you’d had this reaction.

“Who is this?” Your voice was even shakier.

“Me,” he whispered.

Everything in you was fighting, but you didn’t know what it was fighting for? Was it against something or for something? His name was at the tip of your tongue.

“Ch—Chris?”

“You know me?” He sounded as if he were on the verge of tears. For some reason, you wanted to ease his pain, but you didn’t know how.

“No.”

He sighed out and sniffled. The realization he was crying weighed heavily on you, so heavy you had to drop to the bed to sit.

“I miss you so much.”

The words meant something to you, but what? The words made you feel, but what? As you were opening your mouth to speak, you heard a door close.

“Little dove?”

Quickly you ended the car and put the phone back into the nightstand then hurried out to greet Christiano, hoping he didn’t suspect anything. You felt as if you were a cheating wife.

Christiano made all your favorites for dinner that night, and the two of you ate surrounded by a sea of candlelight and flowers. You worked hard to keep your head in the present and not on the way Chris’s voice sounded or the effect it had on you. You were curious, but you also knew that curiosity was like opening Pandora’s Box. What if you’d cheated on Christiano and he didn’t know? That was your biggest worry right now. You wanted to bring it up to him, but the ramifications were what stopped you.

After dinner, you sat on the beach watching a movie from the projector and sipping apple cider. Without warning, Christiano stood, allowing your feet that were in his lap to drop to the sand. He turned to you and held his hands out for you.

“What’re you doing?”

“Take my hand.” Slowly you slipped your hands into his. Christiano lowered his head to your hands and kissed the backs then dropped to one knee in front of you.

“Oh my god,” you began. You wanted to leap out of your skin and run down the beach. That was your true first instinct.

“I love you, little dove. I’ve loved you from the minute I laid eyes on you. We’ve been through so much together. There was a time that we didn’t know what was next, a time both of us went through a lot. I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you. You’re my everything, Uriah. I want to spend the rest of my life with you—with our—baby.”

Your tears rolled down your cheek, and you couldn’t help but slide closer to him.

“I don’t want to know what it’s like to live a day without you. I don’t want to do it. Will you marry me and spend the rest of your life with me?”

You remembered a time where you wanted him to ask you more than anything. You remembered a time where you’d even planned the kind of wedding you’d want and imagined your name with his last name. Though you knew all of that for a fact, you hesitated with your response. You also remembered another voice asking the same question. A voice you’d heard before. Both voices echoed in your head one over the other until you heard nothing but the words. It was deafening. After a minute the silence returned and you were finally able to breath. You saw Christiano’s panic, and from his panic you tried to calm your own.

“Yes.”

It took him a few moments to move, but when he did, he threw his arms around you and hugged you so tightly. The two of you giggled together like lovestruck idiots who’d just taken the biggest leap for mankind.

“I love you so much.”

His lips were soft and tasted like the Bourbon he’d been drinking. This kiss wasn’t a timid one, it was one that spoke of his love and passion for you, but you also felt his possessiveness. It was stronger than usual. When he pulled his lips back, he sat you down and held out papers.

“What’s this?”

“Remember when we began dating, and you found out that Christina and I would have a prenup for any future spouses?”

You nodded.

“That’s where I was today. I wanted to get them taken care of. This is my love for you. I want to forgo the prenup. I want us to move forward with nothing between us. All you have to do is sign this, and what’s mine is yours.”

You studied him half in disbelief he’d do this and the other half in awe that he’d go against his family and do this. You took the papers, opened them, and began to read them. Almost instantly, Christiano dropped onto his knees again and kissed you.

“I can’t wait to make you my wife—Mrs. White.”

Hearing the name, you giggled on his lips and returned his kisses as fervently as he gave them. The two of you got lost in kisses for a few minutes.

“Hurry up and sign them so we can be the three little Whites.”

You smiled widely and took the pen he offered. Without reading the documents any further, you signed your name without even looking. Instead, you stared into his eyes. Once you’d finished, you threw your arms around his neck. Christiano lifted you and spun you around, making you giggle like a little girl. You walked along the beach hand in hand, admiring the colossal diamond ring he’d planted on you and just imagining the life you had before you.

A few hours later, once you returned to the house to shower and climb into bed with Christiano beside you with his arms wrapped around you. You don’t know why you woke, but when you did, you were alone in the bed. You looked around and found the room empty. Slowly you walked through the house looking for Christiano. You were sure he wouldn’t leave you alone this late at night, especially since he’d already taken care of the business of couriering the paperwork off the island.

When you turned the corner leading to the living room, the lights were off, but you heard whispers. Your footsteps slowed, and you pressed your back to the wall and listened.

“That wasn’t part of the plan. You’re fucking crazy. you could have—still, it was not the plan.” He sounded angry and spoke as if he wanted to yell but was keeping it down. “It’s been handled. I sent him a little surprise or a present. It is your move.”

You had no idea who he was talking to or what he was talking about. You stepped out of the shadows and into the glow of the moonlight.

“Tino?”

Christiano quickly spun around with his hands behind his back.

“What’re you doing up, little dove?

“You weren’t beside me, and I heard voices. Is everything okay?”

Christiano scoffed and smiled as he approached you.

“Yes, perfect. I was just making plans to start our beautiful life together. You and me.” He kissed the tip of your nose.

“You, me, and the baby,” you corrected. Christiano’s jaw clenched, but it was a quick movement before he smiled again.

“Of course. The three of us. Everything I’ve ever wanted in life.”

You smiled and let him lead you to the bedroom. Once inside, you slipped under the covers again and allowed him to kiss you. as he kissed you, you felt the urgency of his kisses and the need coursing through him. His moans echoed in the room as your fingers danced across his bare back. When he rolled onto you, you didn’t freeze this time, and you didn’t hesitate when you felt his need.

From there, Christiano’s movements were deliberate. He kissed where he knew you liked, but it didn’t feel quite right. As he sucked your skin and undressed you, you ignored the strange feeling you had. It was a feeling you assumed cheaters felt. You felt like you were somehow cheating. It made no sense. The man you loved was above you kissing you, licking your skin, and pleasing you the way he knew how. This was the man you were going to marry, the man you were going to make a father. Because it made no sense, you pressed forward.

After a while, both of you were naked. Christiano kissed your temple, then went to your ear.

“I love you, Uriah. I’ll love you until my last breath.”

You smiled and caressed his jaw and brought his face to yours. You wanted to stare into his eyes. They were filled with so much emotion, but there were things there that you didn’t recognize. Christiano dropped his lips to yours and kissed you passionately before he thrust his hips forward, joining your bodies.

You clung to him and shook as you heard your name panted in your ear, only it wasn’t Christiano’s voice you heard. As he moved inside of you, your moans and pants melded together, but your head was fogged with images of things that couldn’t have happened. The faster Christiano plunged in and out of your heat, the quicker the images flashed in your head. The louder his grunts got, the louder your moans became. Soon you felt as if you were close, but no matter how close you were, something was holding you back. This felt right but oh so wrong. He felt like yours, but you didn’t feel like his.

“Chris,” you panted without a thought. You said it again and again like it was the only thing you knew how to say.

Christiano’s thrusts became sloppier, and his grunts rougher.

“Yes, Uriah, you’re mine. Yes!”

“Chrissss!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lee’s Afternote: Yikes. Are you guys okay? It’s okay to be pissed at me. I understand.

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***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

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Tag List:

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***There are a few that are bold that I tried to tag but your @ wasn’t coming up. I’m not sure why. I’m sorry.***

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