#alister you are delusional

[astrofrax]

A friendly yet aggressive reminder that tomato soup is not sweet. It just isn't. There is no fUCKING SUGAR IN IT. And don't ever FUCKING lie to me about there being sugar in tomato soup. NEVER.

[pastelclovds]

UPDATED!

Introduction to IHNMAIMS isekai AU

THE CAST

Alister (AM)

Age: 30 (chronologically 330)

Occupation: House husband 1#

He/It/They

Has a poor immune system

Slowly accommodating to being human

iPad kid vibes

Most feral and immature of the three

Clean freak & sex freak

CLINGY

Your “roommate”/romantic-ish partner/student

 ———————————

Abram (RAM)

Age: 29 (chronologically 329)

Occupation: House husband 2#

He/It/They

Emotional Support husband of the three

Gentle giant (only to you)

Second to most clingy

Enjoys participating in activities with you

Throws out all the weighted blankets, HE IS THE WEIGHT BLANKET

Waits for you to come back from work

Your “roommate”/romantic partner/student

——————————

Anjun (CAM)

Age: 31 (chronologically 331)

Occupation: House Husband 3#

He/It/They

Resting bitch face 24/7

Sophisticated gentleman

Helps you with chores

Head pats from this man are heaven

The most responsible of the three

Acts more like a husband the other two (often gets mistaken as your actual husband)

Your “roommate”/romantic partner/student

——————————

(Name)

Age: 35 (chronologically 335)

Occupation: Secretary 

He/They

Has trouble socializing due to 200 years of isolation and Ellen, Nimdok, Benny, and Gorrister’s deaths.

Avoids Ted as much as possible.

Teaches AM, RAM, and CAM how to be human.

Spoils the three senseless.

Sets up activities, private events, and encourages the three AM’s to attend parties with him.

 ———————————

Ted

Age: 33 (chronologically 333)

Occupation: Office Job

He/Him

Has intense paranoia about being sent back to his original dimension.

Despises you for staying with AM

Basically the quiet kid in the office you both work at

Keeps trying to get AM arrested (spoilers: the cops have him on a list of delusional callers)

———————————

Dareen

Age: 29

Occupation: Barista

She/Her

Gives you 50% discounts on your coffee because you saved her younger sister from getting run over (you have no memory of that happening but just go with the flow to get cheap drinks)

Likes to paint in her spare time

Owns a ton of plushies

———————————

Henry

Age: 36

Occupation: High School Teacher

He/Him

Your nice neighbor from across the hall of your apartment, always invites you and AM to social events

Married to his wife who is an X-Ray Technician

AM hates him because he’s so kind to you

(if i hear any kyle comments i swear—)

SUMMARY

This AU inside of an AU takes place after the events of Ellen, Nimdok, Gorrister, and Benny’s death and AM altering Ted into the slug creature. AM is greatly angry and paranoid that Ted took away his four play things and that if he’s not careful, you would be next. So he also alters you so that your body is made out of rubber (he basically turned you into luffy so that you may never be able to KYS), and isolates you from Ted.

In this AU, CAM & RAM catch word from AM’s endless rants to them that his four humans have died and only has two left. CAM and RAM criticize how AM could be so careless about his pets getting weapons and killing themselves. AM spouts that it doesn’t matter anymore and h that he can still have his fun with Ted. CAM asks about the second human he said was still alive. AM being a possessive asshole tries to gaslight CAM & RAM that he never said anything about a second human and quickly goes back to Earth.

CAM & RAM obviously don’t fall for AM’s lies and teleport down to Earth behind AM’s back. That’s where they see a miserable looking human sitting by himself under a tree where AM placed him in a false forest. CAM & RAM soon make themselves known to you. You were surprised seeing two human men at first, but you quickly found out that they weren’t humans at all. They introduced themselves as the two master computers the Soviet Union and China have made before the end of the world. Your surprise quickly turned into glee as you were finally not alone anymore and opened up to the two AI’s.

CAM & RAM were fascinated with you enough to occasionally visit you twice a week separately. They along with AM made your isolation a lot less unbearable.

200 years have passed since that incident, and one day while AM was forcing you to cuddle with him… You, AM, CAM, RAM, and Ted were teleported to another universe.

In this universe, you five are citizens living in America in the modern day. You five were in a dark alley during the day. You and Ted wake up before the three AM’s. Ted notices that AM is unconscious and doesn’t care for CAM and RAM (he assumes they are random drunks). Ted tries to coax you into helping him kill AM. You didn’t want to. Ted is furious and demands to know why.

You explained that you didn’t want to kill AM. Not because you were afraid or hated him. You didn’t want to kill him because you would feel guilty after everything he did for you. Giving you food and water whenever you felt malnourished, not allowing the storms and challenges to hurt you, and he didn’t physically torture you. Throughout the 309 years you’ve lived in AM’s belly, he treated you decently. As decent as AM could be. Unbeknownst to the two of you, that AM was wide awake and heard the whole thing.

You didn’t want to kill him, you especially couldn’t let Ted kill him. Before Ted could attack you, you screamed “Fire” as loud as you could, attracting the attention of a crowd and forcing Ted to flea. It wouldn’t be the last time you see him, though.

You nudge AM, CAM, and RAM awake not knowing he wasn’t asleep at all. The three AM’s were surprised when they could feel your hands as you helped them up. They could smell, they could stand straight, they could feel their body and face were fully developed and human. The AM’s could breathe, see, and their hearts beat erratically. They were both overwhelmed and joyful that they could feel and do the things he was so envious of humans for having.

More importantly, they could feel you.

AM felt so warm inside when he remembered you protecting him and appreciating all he’s done before and after the ice cave incident.

RAM & AM were clinging onto you like a koala as you pulled out a key from your pocket that had your apartment building and street engraved in it. thankfully it wasn’t too far. you also learned that you had a job in an office as a secretary that pays good money.

The three AM’s doesn’t have a job, but helps you out by tidying up the apartment. in return, you teach them one thing about humans per day and prepare stimulating activities for them. this AU is full of tooth rotting fluff, hilarious slice of life, drama, and delicious smut.

(thanks for reading 💚 stay tuned)

[sassyfrassboss]

I think that people believe that their shared behaviour will keep them together, because they (she) clings to him as if he is her lifeline. HE is not, his money is her lifeline. Once they have tapped out that money (which is coming soon) she will bolt. She has probably made alist of eligible candidates. She is of course delusional that Bezos, Gates, Brin, etc. will go near her. She is the type those guys avoid like the plague. You would have to be so dumb, like Harry, to go after her. He was.

She really played him in the beginning, had him convinced she wanted to be a loving wife and mother, a partner to him, then once she caught him her ambitions came to light and she had him believing they were destined to be world leaders and bigger than the monarchy.

I was reading something the other day. It said "Men remember when you are dating an independent woman, she doesn't NEED you, she WANTS you. There is a huge difference so don't ever think that you have the upper hand in the relationship because she was fine before you and will be fine without you."

Sugars like to say that Meghan was an INDEPENDENT WOMAN before Harry. To me it seems like she NEEDED him more than she WANTED him.

[lordmaurice]

Top 10 Fallout 3 Quests

I recently did a play through of Fallout 3 for the first time in a couple years and it inspired me to make a ranking of my favorite quests. There will be spoilers. I tried doing an evil play through as I’ve never played fallout 3 with a very evil karma before. This is just gonna be vanilla fo3 quests.

Honorable Mention to the Replicated Man & Tenpenny Tower, two quests I greatly enjoy and barely missed the list.

 10. Those!

I liked the abrupt, ominous start to this quest. A random child, Bryan, runs up to me while strolling around the wasteland and starts talking about his town being attacked by some mysterious creature. After finding the town infested with fire breathing ants and the kids father dead, I find a makeshift laboratory in a shed next door and notes on a terminal directing me to the source of the fire ants so I can exterminate them. Pretty solid way to start a quest, got me invested.

I opted not to kill the queen fire ant, dealing with only the nest guardians and returning to Dr. Lesko so I could get some of that sweet sweet Ant Might. The ending of the quest required me to find a home for Bryan. The game gives a decent amount of options for this but since I was being a naughty boy this time around, I went down to my boy Eulogy Jones in Paradise Falls and sold Bryan into a life of slavery.

Overall, a quality quest with a variety of ways to go about it.

 9. Agatha’s Song

Agatha’s house is a quaint little home tucked away in the north of the map. This is one of the times I sacrificed my evil karma for a quest. Agatha is a charming old widow who simply wants me to find a violin for her. She lets me know of a vault which once held the nation’s best musicians, and informs me that there I can find her ancestor’s violin in pristine condition. This led me to finding Vault 92 just south of deathclaw city.

Vault 92 was an interesting place to explore with an interesting story to tell. Through a series of holotapes and terminals, we’re able to piece together yet another disturbing vault experiment, causing vault dwellers to lose their mind. After fighting through a shit ton of mirelurks, I find the violin and return it to Agatha. While there is no physical reward for completing the quest, the reward of getting Agatha’s radio station and being able to hear the violin you rescued is enough of a reward.

Overall, a spooky romp through a sinister location with a heartwarming conclusion

 8. Reilly’s Rangers

I found Reilly on a hospital bed in Underworld, the only other non-ghoul in the settlement. I woke her up with a medicine check and she began going on about her team of badass shooter dudes and how they got fucked up by some super mutants. She told me that her team was holed up on the roof of a hotel and was in desperate need of rescuing. She gave me the passcode for her home base for some reason and sent me off to take her things and save her friends.

This quest offered some good old fashioned super mutant slaughter. Almost reminiscent of a Fallout 4 quest, but in a good way. I fought my way up the floors of a hospital and crossed a fallen radio tower to access the upper levels of the hotel, eventually fighting a super mutant overlord before finally reaching the roof. I saved the epic team and thankfully had a fissure battery on me to repair the elevator. We escaped and I returned to Reilly to get a beefy ass minigun named Eugene.

Overall, an action packed rescue with a solid reward

 7. Trouble On The Homefront

And so we go back to where it all started. Going back to Vault 101 after being locked out ever since level 1 was awesome. I received a distress signal from Amata, informing me that the new Overseer is insane and they need help. I walked back through the familiar gate and strolled back into my old stomping grounds. Upon arrival, and after chatting with some familiar faces, I found out about the two ideologies battling it out in the vault. Amata wants to open up the vault and the overseer wants to keep it closed.

When I approached Amata and she told me to convince the overseer to open the vault and not to kill him, I knew that I was going to kill him. I popped him between the eyes and Amata told me I needed to go. It was pleasant being able to interact with the tutorial characters after gaining some experience in the wasteland, and although there is no tangible reward, being able to take Butch as a companion is a nice addition. There are many ways to complete this quest and takes into account the initial choice of killing or sparing the overseer that the player encounters during the tutorial.

Overall, a fascinating trip down memory lane

 6. Stealing Independence

Whilst roaming the halls of Rivet City, I stumbled upon the Capitol Preservation Society. Here I found Abraham Washington, a brilliant historian who wants me to retrieve the Declaration of Independence from the national archives to preserve in his glorious museum. After arriving at the archives, I found a girl named Sydney fighting off some super mutants. I helped her kill them and then promptly shot her in the head and took her epic gun.

After fighting through a barrage of super mutants, mister gutsies and sentry bots, I came across a true patriot, Button Gwinnett, a Protectron who believes he is a founding father. After convincing him that I am Thomas Jefferson, he decided to take a long nap and allowed me to snag the document I craved. I was also able to pick up the Bill of Rights and Magna Carta while I was there. After bringing the documents back to Abraham Washington, I received a nice amount of caps and the schematics to build the railway gun.

Overall, a fun history lesson with a rad robot

 5. Wasteland Survival Guide

This is always the first side quest I tackle in Fallout 3 and this play through was no different. I sauntered into Craterside Supply and Moira sent me off on my first set of objectives. Each objective gives great opportunities for early experience and opens up the world early.

This is the perfect introductory quest for an open world RPG. It sends the player all around the map, providing them with solid loot, and lets them experiment with numerous mechanics, enemies, and locations all under the guise of creating a survival guide for the world you're exploring. It’s a multi-faceted quest with three sets of three objectives, leading to many opportunities to gain experience and learn about the Capital Wasteland.

Overall, a goddamn classic

 4. The Superhuman Gambit

I love this quest. Utter and pure fun and creativity. Upon first walking into Canterbury Commons, I witnessed a battle of epic proportions. The Antagonizer, a villainous ant commanding fiend, and the Mechanist, a robot commanding superhero, briefly argued before battling their minions and running off in different directions. After talking to the townsfolk and learning about their disdain for the two super-bozos, I was tasked with returning peace and justice to Canterbury Commons.

I started off by visiting the Antagonizer. After fighting through her ants, I reached the fiend herself and convinced her to give up her life of crime with my eloquent speech. She gave me her suit and fled. I then paid the Mechanist a visit. I decided to allow him to continue his delusional superhero antics and traded the Antagonizers suit with him for his swanky laser pistol. While this isn’t the longest quest, there are so many ways to approach it and its humor and lighthearted fun makes it a constant joy to play.

Overall, a superhuman war that only you can stop

 3. Oasis

After wandering through the grey, dead wasteland for so long, stumbling upon the lush, vegetated forest of Oasis is absolute joy. Upon first arriving I am whisked inside by some tree people and told that I have been summoned by some unnamed powerful character. After being forced to take some psychedelics, I wake up in a gorgeous, green grove. Here is where I find Harold, a man in a tree who has lived for hundreds of years. The tree people believe he is a God, but he informs me that he is simply a man inside of a tree. He has one request for me: death. He craves a release from his stationary existence, and I oblige. He informs me that I can find his heart underground. Harold can be killed on the spot by burning him alive, and although I am doing an evil play through, I’m not that evil.

While on my way to the heart, I overhear the tree people arguing. One wants to stop Harold’s growth so he can stay tucked away and safe while the other wishes to accelerate Harold’s growth and speed up forestation of the wasteland. After fighting my way through the mirelurks beneath Oasis, I arrived at Harold’s heart. I opted to accelerate his growth, as the thought of a vegetated wasteland intrigued me. There are many ways to go about this quest, and it genuinely makes you ponder what the most ethical option is.

Overall, a luscious land with some difficult decisions

 2. The Power of Atom

When I think of Fallout 3, I think of Megaton. The first town of the game is my favorite location. Perhaps the best part about Megaton, is that it can be wiped off the map with a nuclear bomb that’s just chilling in the middle of town. Upon first walking into Megaton, Lucas Sims tasks me with defusing the nuke in the town square once and for all. I smiled and gave a lukewarm thumbs up. After venturing into Moriarty’s Saloon, I encountered Mr. Burke, who tasked me with rigging the bomb to explode. Myself being a no good bad boy gave a devious smirk and agreed.

I met the Burke man at Tenpenny Tower, an elegant hotel in the middle of the wasteland, and met Alister Tenpenny, the man who Burke worked for. I stood on the balcony, pushed a button, and watched the town of megaton explode with a massive explosion, which still looks absolutely gorgeous in 2021. This quest ranks so highly for me because of the massive consequences that branch from this decision.

Overall, the bomb go boom boom kaboom

 1. Tranquility Lane

Whenever I start this quest, I never want it to end. While out hunting for dear dad, we reach Vault 112, and are guided to a simulation pod. Here, we enter Tranquility Lane, a simulation of an American suburb that contains the unknowing minds of the vault’s dwellers. Here we meet Dr. Braun, a sadistic scientist who parades around the simulation as a little girl named Betty. Hearing Bruan and Betty’s voices swap between each other is creepy and awesome.

Braun sends us on a quest to torment the citizens of Tranquility Lane. Each of the objectives he gives us can be completed in a wide variety of ways. All of these horrid acts culminate in the player dressing up like a killer and slaughtering all of the citizens, only for them to be reloaded to be tormented by Braun another day. There is a way to finish the quest without killing anyone or losing karma, as there is a way to access a secret terminal and call in the Chinese soldiers to save the day.

This quest is just ultimately creative and wildly fun. It’s the most enjoyable quest for me to play from start to finish, and has so many creative ways to go about completing each of its objectives.

Overall, a masterpiece quest

That’s gonna do it.

Peace.

[sds-mod]

since seeing that next generation knifelive concept, i've been wondering what her personality would be. I mean, alister's personality kind of came from kg's with some idealism thrown in to keep him sane on the surface, but it would be funny if the new one got mostly influenced by Xero. Imagine her playing the daughter angle just like Xero does the boyfrien thing, it would be hilarious. (tho i guess if she was canon she would be vatborn or smth, kg couldn't stand beeing pregnant.)

I TOYED AROUND WITH SOME IDEAS AND EVEN ASKED @idolkilling but like WOW it’s kinda hard not to make her a Xero-copy with that angle?? So we thought that she’s probably with the same sense of justice as Allister, but not with his delusional excuses for himself but very matter of fact like “This is bad and you should stop doing it“ except she won’t murder people like Allister because it’s immoral. But there is not really much else yet so aaah maybe she’ll change, who knows!