#alistair kirkland

[thegreatdeprussian]

happy father's day to this man and only this man (matthew ghostwrote this)

[tsukikitty]

Honestly, I prefer the fandom's redhead green-eyed Alistair Kirkland design over the canon one. Canon design just feels ick to me.

[houseofkirklands]

Headcanons relationship each Kirkland brother have with each other

Okay this is like the typical draw explaining the relationship some characters have but since I suck at drawing (really I don't even know how to draw a tree) I'll drop some hcs here about what do I think their relationship is like

-England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

•With Wales: He is the brother he probably trust the most in a normal daily basis. He and Wales have been living together for so long and England didn't really have at all that much problems with him that he is the first one he comes to when needs to talk to one of his brothers. Wales is the one who can understand better England and since Wales is the calmest one in the family he won't get angry easily but England knows Wales is the worst one to face if he gets angry

•With Scotland: Oh god from where to start? Their relationship is ...complicated... Mostly because of all the war they had which made broken their brotherhood more but the current political situation around Scotland makes England have a headache. They have that love-hate brotherhood the "he is an idiot but is my idiot". They will never tell each other but deep inside they really care about each other, Scotland tried his best to take care of England, which he thinks he failed by a lot but England will come to Scotland when he feels like, Scotland is the closest person England could consider as "a brother and a father". He knows Scotland tried to protect him and he learned a lot from his older brother. England will never tell but Scotland was the only one who could make England feel safe when he was a little kid, he will come to him when he was scared looking for Scotland's protection and that still happens nowadays

•With Ireland: They are the most distant between all the brothers. Nowadays they are working in their personal relationship which is kinda a sign for the rest of the brothers to keep an eye on them cause they can't be left alone in the same room for 5 minutes and try to be civil and well mannered people. England feels like Ireland sometimes makes a drama over smaller things and tend to exaggerate everything to the point he can't take him seriously but deep inside he knows Ireland still holds a grudge against England for everything he has done to Ireland for the last 800 years and because of this it's difficult for them to have a talk but sometimes they can forget about their differences and share the same braincells which can be very dangerous from an outsider view

•With Northern Ireland: It's a bit difficult to explain this one. They trust in each other and get along pretty well but from England' side he sometimes see in North a young America cause like his former colony, North is cheerful, full of energy and joy, with creative ideas but then he remembers North is also a Kirkland so he has gotten his strong headed from somewhere. England sometimes feels like if he is doing right with North in taking care of him while North is living in his house, the little boy will go sometimes asking help from England when it comes to the problem on how to be a country but then he sees North and remembers Ireland and everything, he knows one day North will stop living in England's house and the cheerful and joy that brings to the house will dissapear to give that to Ireland, he just doesn't know exactly how to feel about him, he worries about him, he deeply cares but North sometimes makes it difficult to tell, he just doesn't want to get too much attached to him

Wales

•With England: He is the one that get on well better with England like already metioned. From Wales perspective, he doesn't have any problem in help him if needed, he would sit down on the sofa with him, make some tea and drink it together while he is listening to his younger brother. Wales was the one who took care of England when Britannia was under Rome's rule so Wales became very important for the personal development of England, also Wales is good at giving advices so he would try to help England the best he can and he would be the one next to him most likely when England struggles with the problems but on the other side, he can be mad at him for some England's ideas or actions sometimes, Wales could be found not defending England when it's Scotland or Ireland matter depending on the topic (mostly for a historical grudge) so that can make England think Wales doesn't care about him at all...which it isn't true but Wales is not stupid, he has seen things and won't defend something that has no right to be defended specially if it involves his brothers and he knows England has hurt them in the past....

•With Scotland: They have like a "middle" relationship. They don't get along the best but they don't hate each other. Wales rarely has asked Scotland for any help and depending of the mood Scotland has that day could send Wales to heaven or to hell. Wales knows that's if its needed Scotland would be there for him since Scotland is the most protective of all the brothers but Scotland is aware Wales prefers England's company than his

•With Ireland: Kinda similar to Scotland-Wales relationship. They don't really talk to much, it's not like they dislike each other actually when they are together they become a bunch of idiots. Wales used to be the one who used to send letters to Ireland to know let him know what's going on in Great Britain, how he, England and Scotland were doing. This is a thing they do nowadays but changing the letters with text messages since Wales probably knows all the secrets his brothers have and Ireland as the oldest brother, has his right to know how are his younger brothers doing

•With Northern Ireland: They have a lovely brotherhood dynamic. North is a really young country compared with the thousand of years his brothers have and is trapped in a 15-18 years old body. So Wales is the one who helps North with some stuff North might find interesting, if England can't help him in the affairs of the country, Wales will help him (actually every one helps North with this) and like the curious mind North has, he always goes to Wales to ask him how he can learn magic as fast as he can to reach his brothers's magic level or go to the countryside and Wales will start to talk to him about animals, Wales is also the one teaching North how to sing and when it comes to emotional support, Wales will be there for North

Scotland

•With England: Tries to hide it but he deeply cares about England. He is the little brother he raised the most, Scotland wanted him to be stronger than he ever was cause he didn't want England to suffer as much as Scotland did when he was just a child/teenager. He just couldn't see his brother being in pain but the problem was, how a 7 years old kid can raise a little brother that is 4 years old knowing they have lost their parents recently? How a family of brothers who didn't surpass the 10 years old age could survive in a world where Rome and Germania were expanding their territories so fast? And the Vikings...They lived in a forest, surrounded by animals, started to see magical creatures and needed to survive without a parental/maternal figure, they were so young for the world, and that's what Scotland wants to England to understand. Life was not easy, life was never easy for them, England doesn't remember cause he was very young but Ireland and Scotland struggled a lot, they needed to grow up while being child to protect the younger brothers, they even had no idea if there were going to survive the next day...Find some food for 4 mouths, everything was so difficult and for a moment Scotland thought maybe Wales and England being under Rome's rule was good, cause they had food, they had a proper bed, proper clothes, they could study, learn how to write, how to read and a decent house to be stay but when they meet each other again, England wasn't the boy Scotland knew before, Scotland's methods to raise England weren't the best, he is aware of that. For the rest of their history, Scotland just couldn't see anything more but a mix of hate and dissapoinment, England made things to him that Scotland would never do to him but Scotland has been always the one more affected for England's change in the personality, the fact he wants to get independence doesn't mean he hates him, if only England could understand ...

•With Wales: If there is something Scotland will never understand is how Wales can defend a lot England, how he can be so clever and so stupid at the same time? Scotland appreciates Wales for being the brigde between him and England current fights, Wales always listen to the both of them so it's easy for him to find an answer and make those two make the peaces and bring to the house 5 minutes of really silence and a peaceful mood. They are the ones who can be the most be found doing some magic together

•With Ireland: The dynamic duo, the stupid dumbass big brothers of the entire islands, they same the same braincell literally. These two have the best relationship between all the brothers, similar tastes, similar physical features, similar everything around those two.

Just Ireland is the extrovert one and Scotland rarely wants to be social cause he holds an introvert ass

These two are the C-H-A-O-S of the family together, they will ally together to annoy their little brothers BUT only them are allowed to do that, if anyone outside the family makes fun of one of their brothers, prepare yourself, put some trainers and be ready to run the marathon of your life cause they will kick you and won't have any regrets in doing it. Their family is very important for them, extremely important, they will risk their lives to protect them even through they are annoying as f.

They will start speaking in Gaelic much for the disgrace of Wales and England while North is just there trying to see if he can understand something

Now leaving the brothers behind, they fully support and worry about each other, they are the ones who have struggled the most to survive so they can understand each other so well. Ireland as the oldest, doesn't want to see Scotland suffering and if there is a brother Scotland will let his guard down and need a should to cry on, that would be Ireland for sure, the rest of the brothers have Ireland and Scotland for them to ask about life and that stuff...Scotland only has Ireland as his older brother, the one and only, the one who raised Scotland, the one Scotland used to look up for and he doesn't know what he would do if he lost his older brother, he wishes he could protect Ireland for all the suffering he had gone through, Scotland promised himself to be strong to be able to protect Ireland but he just can't, he just wants him to be happy and will say to him he is proud of Ireland knowing how much he endured everything to become a stronger person and a better nation for his people, he will say those words cause Ireland tends to forget them, Scotland will always support him

•With Northern Ireland: North will go to Scotland to ask him about his homework problems, or just anything that involves problems, Scotland will be here listening to North most of the time but other times Scotland would just think North problems are dumb as f which can lend to North to get angry.

But most of the time, Scotland is the one that spend more time with North either playing with some toys or videogames or bringing the boy outside to do some outdoors activities just to make the little lad forget about everything that involves to be a nation

Ireland

•With Wales: Ireland is very fond of Wales, he is the brother he can always trust because Wales is so open-minded and will listen to any of the brothers no matter what. Ireland sometimes used to ask Wales to look for the safety of Scotland when they were younger even though Scotland was trying so much to be a good big brother, taking care of England cause we are talking about a period when Ireland and England didn't have problems and to protect and support North when needed. They maybe don't talk too much but definitely they care about each other so much and Ireland couldn't be more happy to have Wales as his brother.

•With England: Oh god... This one... He is glad that nowadays they are working on their relationship and can cooperate but it takes just a minimum thing done wrong for Ireland to explote out of the patience because of England.

It's just so much going on between them...They manage to work together but Ireland just had enough from England, he is tired to fight with him. There was a time they were on very good terms however for Ireland is not easy to forget 800 years of colonialism. England has caused him so much trauma and mental illness, Ireland is working on it, he is really trying and he just wishes England could understand its just not easy to forget. He can forgive cause Ireland has a big heart but the damage to him, his land and people are there. He doesn't understand how England can say he is exaggerating sometimes over things England might find unserious but for Ireland it's just a whole world, luckily Wales and Scotland knew to be there for Ireland when he needed and talk with England over how he was treating Ireland.

Also they kinda agreed to work and improve their relationship for the best specially for Northern Ireland cause he just can't choose between the two and they are like their tutors but everyone knows they can't spend so much time in the same room.

•With Scotland: If there is something that Ireland will say to Scotland, it would be he is proud of him. He is the brother he has spent most time with during his whole life, the first ever brother he took care of, Ireland made sure Scotland learned everything but because of circumstances it was difficult for him to do it.

Ireland remembers how much Scotland looked up for him back in the days when they were just the two of them, then Wales came, England came and now with North, they are the older brothers and they need to protect their younger brothers the best they can, they have seen each other at their worst but they have always supported each other cause they could understand each other situation.

You won't see Ireland crying that much cause he was used to feel pain but he knows if he needs to cry even though he has always seen like he isn't broken, he can be very vulnerable sometimes, he could be found alone crying in Scotland' shoulders

No matter what Ireland loves Scotland so much and will make sure he can have a better life than his. They have their own agreement to protect each other from any pain but definitely they can hang out to have a drink and forget about the world for a moment

•With Northern Ireland: They have their ups and downs, it depends so much of the period, they can have their misunderstandings but they also know they need each other.

In Ireland's eyes, North is a baby based on the terms of a nation, North is only a century old compared with him. Ireland feels like he needs to protect North, Ireland has seen so much and has gone through so many bad times, North is aware of this and just because Ireland doesn't want North to have the life he had, he sometimes will go on "parental mode activated" when North is struggling with something. He just wants to give North the best childhood he can have, a childhood neither Ireland or the rest of the brothers have.

Ireland knows he can't treat North like the way he treated his younger brothers centuries ago. North is growing up in a very different world and that's a thing Ireland has needed to understand, so he is always ready to help North the best he can either with homework or just when North is hitted with some anxiety attacks. He will stay next to him and let him know that even though North lives with brothers that are ancient af, they would be there forever for him.

North appreciates that and Ireland just loves to see him happy. Ireland will always find some time to spend with North because he knows North needs and desires for that time.

Northern Ireland

•With England: When he was younger he was very fond of England but as he is growing up and understanding the history of his family, he doesn't know what to think about England at all. North likes England a lot, he is always looking up for him for some advice and he is aware England actually helps him a lot but then he founds about the past of England, about what he did to Scotland and to Ireland specially and he might have mixed feelings towards England. He actually knows England is not anymore like that but also he can understand why his oldest brothers are like that with England. He just doesn't know how to feel about it, he sometimes think it's just better to let his older brothers issues between his older brothers cause its a past thing and he just simply hasn't lived those times with them.

North just depending on his mode sometimes will love England and other times he will go specially when something political happens and he sees his own country affected by a very bad decision England took, telling him he wants to be back in Ireland's house just to pressure England that or he takes action, or he will call Ireland and North knows England doesn't want to face Ireland

But in general facts in a personal way North and England get along pretty well but England understands given the situation North has, he could some days find the teenager very, very angry at him and deal with him it's actually difficult for England cause North is a Kirkland and is linked to Ireland so he is the ultimate stubborn of the family.

•With Wales: Wales is actually the one who is teaching North basic magic concepts and some singing voice classes. North likes so much to spend time with Wales, he learns so much with him, Wales is the reason why North started to like animals a lot and he will always watch with his older brother documentaries about the animal world and some mystical and mythological animals as well and for Wales means so much that little boy has so many interests in so many different things and topics. North trusts so much in Wales and he will go to him everytime he see the other brothers fighting either because England and Scotland fought again, Ireland and England or just the 3 of them so for North, Wales is that scape he has for a period of time where fighting is not allowed where Wales will tell him just not to get involved in the discussion of the rest of the brothers

•With Scotland: North looks up for Scotland a lot too (I mean he is the baby brother, he looks up for all his brothers). Advice for life and supervivence, North likes a lot to follow Scotland anywhere, he is young and he is willing to see the world so he always go with the Scotsman to the trips he had planned (mostly to the Scottish Highlands), Scotland loves to be a guide tourist for North telling him stories about the places they are visiting, he is a really good storyteller so when North was very little, he was the one who used to read him a book to make him sleep. North also loves to go to Scotland's workshop and see all the manual works Scotland has done. He remembers how Scotland used to give him as a present some figures for him which really appreciates and eventually will make a team with him to make jokes to the rest of the brothers

•With Ireland: North doesn't want to admit or at least not in front of him but he is really scared to lose Ireland. He doesn't want to fail him and wants him to be proud of what North has become on his own. He is aware he is sometimes very rough at Ireland but just like with England because of his situation he just has mixed feelings, in a personal way he really love and appreciates Ireland, he knew that he is linked to Ireland no matter how many people tells him otherwise, in a personal way, Ireland has been there for him and North knows he has learned a lot from Ireland. He took care of him when he was a little toddler, how to walk, how to talk, how to read... Thanks to Ireland he has that part of him that makes him interested in Irish culture and traditions just like the UK brothers did as well with the British culture, he learned Irish, he got interested in Irish dancing and loves when Ireland tells him stories as well just like Scotland. With time he has learned to try to understand Ireland better cause he feels like he has been rough with him for so long, ofc he knows Ireland isn't a saint but history is there written and well its not like North can't pretend he doesn't feel bad when he reads a bit of Ireland's history and point of view or defend England actions or even Ireland own actions back then, he just can't but if he was honest he feels like the way he sees England and Ireland as brothers is very different from each other, he won't tell but he knows he loves when Ireland defends and protects him and Ireland just goes on his father mode cause for him North is his little baby and actually North doesn't mind that all...

[ssuckitlosers]

Hws Scotland:

[chavonflo]

Hetalia Headcannon: Anglosphere Family

Oldest Members:

England: Arthur is kinda like the head of the family even though none of them will acknowledge it. He will be like a Dad-Uncle to Alfred, Matthew, Jett, and James. Arthur will be the type of parental figure to embarrass you unintentionally or not.

Scotland: Allister is more like one of the cool uncles in the family and is willing to bump heads with Arthur on being the matriarch. As an uncle, Allister will take his nephews on special adventures much to Arthur's dismay and annoyance.

Wales: Dylan will have a very nurturing role in this family. He is willing to take care of everyone whenever they get sick or injured and will also bake pretty decent pastries if someone is having a rough day. As an uncle, Dylan will tuck his nephews to bed and read them fairy tales from his own culture.

Northern Ireland: Since Seamas is the youngest of the older family members, I imagine him to be like an older cousin to the younger members of the family. Seamas will try to be seen as a wise older uncle, but will still fail miserably, at least he gets to be like a fun cousin that gets dragged into the fun antics of the kids.

Ireland: Sean will be a fun uncle to be around. He will entertain his nephews with thrilling stories of his early years and will celebrate Saint Patrick's Day with them which will result in a lot of drinking parties (and property damage). Sean is also up to a good musical session along with Dylan, whenever the moment calls for it.

(I will do the younger members: America, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand next time.)

[random-brain-dumps]

I think Scotland and England would bond over their shared hatred of British media

They would hang out at each others' homes and vent about their stress in private

I feel like British media would treat England and Scotland like shit. They would both be stalked and hounded relentlessly by journalists and paparazzi and historians.

England would have to constantly be his best self. He's not allowed to be angry or upset for fear of his "credibility" being tarnished. They obsess over every minute detail of what he says, and one slip of the mouth will have him in the tabloids for months.

Historians follow him around as if he's an exotic species with the answers to their prayers. Who cares if he's on holiday? Who cares if it's a traumatic event? He should always be ready for a two hour interview and answer every email he receives! Does he not care about his own history?

The press also doesn't take Scotland seriously. In interviews, they'll openly mock his accent for being indecipherable, but they'll express disappointment when he's not "speaking like a Scotsman".

They love to try and rile him up, and then make him out to be a short-tempered brute when he eventually loses his cool. It only makes the paps more aggressive. They foam at the mouth for footage of him losing his temper.

[atsushis-fangs]

Past Scotland: you know, sometimes, it just feels nice to be wanted. North, gesturing hysterically towards his wanted posters: NOT BY THE LAW.

@winterwrites23 posting this while I should be working on my essay on welfare (something north aint ever gonna get)

[elsliterarylibrary]

Scotland x reader x England Idk maybe the reader was expecting to come over for tea only to for the brothers to fight over the reader?

Okay. I feel ya. I might break this down into multiple parts with different endings. I dunno. Let's see if ya like this one shot first.

I'm sorry for the LONG wait. I was just recently put back on an anti-psychotic because I was showing signs of ✨paranoid schizophrenia✨and I'm also struggling to find a job so I can start college. I was barely conscious of my existence for a while there. I'm stressed, depressed, and losing my damn mind.

So let's try to numb the pain with yandere country personifications! Lmfao

(Y/N)'s POV

I drove over to Arthur's house. Arthur invited me over for a cuppa and considering Alfred decided to drop by my house with Matthias and Gilbert, I much rather be at Arthur's. Those three are so annoying.

When I got there, Alistair was there too. He was wearing a loose, white dress shirt that had the top two buttons unfastened and dark blue dress pants. His fiery red hair was messy as usual and he had a lit cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth, smoke slightly obscuring his face. He seemed a little agitated, but he always seemed that way so I brushed it off. (That man needs to take some anger management classes, I swear.)

"Hey, where's Arthur?" I asked, looking around Arthur's big ass house.

"In the sitting room." Alistair huffed, glaring in the direction of the room containing his little brother.

"Alright, thank you." With that, I make my way towards the sitting room, throwing a smile towards the older Kirkland man. Once I walked in the sitting room, I spotted a head of blond hair. He was sat on an arm chair, muttering angrily as he fussed with a tea kettle. I smirked and snuck up behind Arthur. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. Arthur yelped in shock and whirled around with his fists raised.

"Alistair, I swear-" He began, before realizing that it was only me. He put his fists down, smoothed out his vest, and the smiled at me. His emerald green eyes shone and he moved to envelop me in a hug.

"(Y/n)! I'm so glad you made it!" He pulled away from the hug, his hands remaining on my waist as he looked deeply into my eyes. This felt way too intimate for friends. This is uncomfortable. Can he let me go now?

"Um..." I began. "I'm kinda thirsty. Is the tea ready?"

That seemed to snap him out of whatever reverie he was in the middle of. He let me go and led me over to the couch.

"Ah, yes. Tea is ready. I hope chamomile is good enough."

I giggled. "Yeah, chamomile is good. Did you make any snacks?"

He smiled at me, but soon his expression went sour as he looked at something by the doorway.

"If he did, our house would have burned down." A gruff voice sounded from behind me.

I looked over to see Alistair standing against the doorway, his arms crossed and a lit cigarette between his fingers. Arthur huffed.

"My cooking is not that bad." Arthur argued, face turning red from embarrassment and anger.

"I'd beg to differ. You'd kill the poor lass with your cooking." Alistair retorted.

"Okay, please calm down. I came over here to escape Alfred and his friends' annoying antics, not to hear you two bicker." I take a deep breath. "Let's just enjoy some tea."

Arthur sent one last glare at Alistair before fixing me a cup of tea, handing it over to me with a quiet "here, love". I grab the tea cup, taking a sip while I leaned back and crossed my legs. I hummed in satisfaction as the flavor of the tea spread across my tongue. I brought the cup away from my lips, watching as Alistair made his way to the couch opposite Arthur and me. His forest green eyes were trained on me, eyeing me up and down. His staring made me feel subconscious of my choice of clothing. I was wearing a mint green sweater and a pair of skinny jeans. It felt like he was undressing me with his eyes.

"So, Arthur. What books have you read recently?" I asked, turning to Arthur. Maybe starting a conversation will get Alistair to stop staring at me. Or to help ignore his eyes burning into my body.

"Oh, I just finished reading All the Light We Cannot See. It was pretty good. I suggest you give it a try."

"Ooh, what's it about? Maybe I'll add it to my To Be Read list."

"Well, its about-" He was cut off by a groan from the oldest Kirkland brother. Our gazes fell towards Alistair.

"God, why are you both so boring? Can't you talk about something more exciting than books?"

"Well, I-" I began. "I'm sorry that you find the things I like boring."

The Scottish man's eyes flicked to me as they widened, as if he didn't mean to offend me.

"Now, look what you've done! You hurt her feelings!" Arthur growled. "Just because you aren't intelligent enough to enjoy a book doesn't mean you can just insult those of us who do enjoy them."

Alistair huffed. "At least I have more manly hobbies. What type of man does embroidery?"

"Excuse me?" Arthur yelled. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Hey, wait a minute-" I whispered, panicking because I realized that a fight was almost inevitable at this point. I was cut off by Alistair.

"It means that you're not a man. At least not one worthy of having (Y/n)."

"Wait, what-"

"How dare you! I am perfectly worthy of her! As if she would ever want to be with a brute like you!" Arthur shouted, standing up. His cup of tea fell to the ground, spilling it onto his khaki dress pants.

"Hey, guys. Please-"

"Oh, please. All women want to be with men like me." Alistair scoffed, slowly raising himself up from the couch. "She probably gets wet every time she sees me."

"That's not-" I stood up, trying my best to protest against these claims.

"Are you serious? Quit sexualizing her! I highly doubt that she is that much of a tasteless degenerate."

"Quit sexualizing her? I hear you nearly every night rubbing one out while moaning her name. You sexualize her so much more than I do."

Excuse me? What? That escalated quickly.

"I- But I- Well-" Arthur stammered, cheeks blazing red from embarrassment. "Well I never!"

"Please just stop!" I yelled. "I came over here to relax, not listen to you argue! Clearly, that isn't going to happen, so I'm just going to go home!"

I began to make my way towards the doorway, Arthur and Alistair protesting all the way. I was just beyond the doorway of the sitting room when I felt a strong grip on my hand yank me back into the sitting room.

"(Y/n), wait! Please don't go!" Arthur pleaded, his eyes wide and frantic.

"Man, I just wanted to have some tea and relax, not listen to you two talk about what you think is going on with my vagina at any given time or how you masturbate to the thought of me."

"I know! I know and I'm sorry." Arthur's grip on my wrist tightens as tears began to form in his eyes. "Please don't go! We'll behave! I promise!"

"I don't know-" I began, looking into Arthur's eyes. "I don't know how to feel about everything I just learned about how you two view me."

The grip on my wrist tightens and Arthur tenses up.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispered. "Please don't hate me."

"I-" I take a deep breath and pry my hand away from him. "I'm sorry. I gotta go."

With that I ran away, not looking back. Hopefully, these two will get themselves together and quit acting like horny teenaged boys.

So this was less Yandere than I wanted. But I feel bad for nearly 2 years of nothing, so I'm going to post this. Maybe in the future I will redo this one.

[to-the-starlit-west]

time for deranged hetaliaposting

I don’t agree with the assessment that the countries of Great Britain and the Republic of Ireland are brothers.

Here’s how I imagine it: England, Scotland and Wales are siblings. The Republic of Ireland is just some guy. And Northern Ireland is England and Ireland’s child of divorce. England has legal custody because when they divorced he had more money and power, but nowadays it’s more friendly and though NI lives with Dad England she sometimes hangs out with his other sort-of deadbeat Dad Ireland. Neither of them really want her, but she’s their kid so they try and work it out.

Cue dysfunctional fucked-up family relations. NÍ hates Ireland because he makes it very clear any time they do anything that he is sovereign and independent and that they’re not really family. Like Christ, she gets it, he has a government and she doesn’t, alright, alright. They beef nowadays over the stupidest shit, and can never admit how much they have in common. Scotland and Ireland sometimes speak in Gaidhlig and Gaeilge respectively to piss England off, letting on that they understand eachother. Nobody can get along, everyone lives in the city of their respective parliaments, but because Northern Ireland’s Stormont is currently … out of order she’s been rocking around the place hanging out.

here’s a handy diagram

names:

England - Arthur Kirkland

Scotland - Alistair Kirkland (the others call him Alby or Allie to piss him off)

Wales - Dylan Kirkland (

Ireland - Aindriú O’Hartnéide

Northern Ireland - Ireland calls her Laoise, England calls her Louise. She prefers just being called “North.”

[thegreatdeprussian]

Matthew's a perfectly behaved kid but if you ask him to wipe his nose, he'll reach for Alasdair 's sleeves

[levyfai]

Alistair Kirkland finds himself being attacked by royals only because he caused the heir to be poisoned. Now it's up to him to save the one who saved him or die trying

For day 4 for @hetaween-event 2024 poison.

[houseofkirklands]

So England vs France match ended France winning which means Scotland is going to make a party in England's house and spend the entire night drinking with France while thinking in which moment of his exactly life he became friend with the frenchman cause France winning to England for Scotland its very sexy from France' side

[flashlight-sticker]

Day 1 - “Have we met before?”

Alistair cleaned the sink, swiping the drops of water off with a rag and sending them back down. The house was spotless today, the way it hasn’t been in a long time. Between his job and the volunteering he hardly found the strength or the will to properly clean up the place. The books laid all around, occasional cardboard boxes forgotten in the corridor, a bunch of documents that was used in the previous week for… some reason, an album on the table with the pictures scattered round after he finished looking through it, unwilling to put it back together.

Yeah, that’s pretty much how his flat looked.

But not today. Today it was licked spotless, meat baking in the oven, a table set.

Plates, knives, champagne glasses, all shining and ready.

He could hear the talking from his living room, his brothers sitting around the coffee table, guessing who is it that Arthur was so excited to bring over.

Well, perhaps “excited” is a strong word when used towards Arthur, but it’s the only fitting one. Arthur Kirkland, THE Arthur Kirkland, who was in his emo (or punk, whatever he called it) era just about last year, who claimed that love “is nothing but a series of chemicals” and “useless” has found someone. That someone, who filled half their conversations over the phone, that someone whom Arthur seemed to find in everything. And that someone was coming today.

Alistair dropped the rag into the sink, his left hand immediately flying up into his hair, rubbing backwards.

He had a bad feeling about all of this. This wasn’t gonna end well.

He let out a sight, closing his eyes for a moment, concentrating on the chatter in the living room.

He should cheer up. Arthur is bringing over a girlfriend… or a boyfriend, or whoever the hell he is dating.

A quick glance at the clock. Half past six. They promised to be here at seven o’clock, but knowing Arthur, they will be here in just about twenty minutes.

He better put on something more presentable.

***

Seamus opened two bottles of beer, handing one over to Alistair.

“They grow up so fast, hmm?” He threw the phrase at him with a knowing grin. Alistair scoffed in return to the century old joke between the two of them.

“Aye…” Alistair raced through his mind, forcing himself to remember some comeback he could possibly give back to his brother to keep the conversation alive “Back in my day lads didn’t have to do the whole ‘meet my family’ thing, because a man—“

Rrring…

The doorbell rung astonishingly loudly. The two exchanged glances and Alistair put his beer down onto the counter, its contents still untouched. He paced down the corridor, towards the door. One final look in the mirror. His shirt was ironed and his hair was laid out neatly (as neatly as he could get it). He absolutely resented the jumper Dylan made him wear, but couldn’t exactly oppose.

The key was turned, he pushed down onto the handle of the door and opened it.

The light from the corridor was partially shaded by Arthur standing in the doorway.

He was also looking prim and proper, his trench-coat finally cleaned, tie in place, shoes shining.

“Hello, Alistair.”

It was just then that he noticed that he froze for a moment. He stepped back, putting his hands into the pockets of his trousers, Seamus standing right next to him.

Alistair put on a smile, the best one he could manage and leaned against the wall in an attempt to seem casual.

“Hiya! Was the way here alright? The roads are awful busy at this time of the night!” he let out a huff that was supposed to be a laugh.

“We were alright” Arthur starting taking off his coat, slipping out of his shoes and then he came in.

Alistair felt his heart sink at the sight of blond wavy hair tied in a neat ponytail, the pastel colours of the shirt and suit, the thin and long fingers, the ever so slightly tanned skin and eyes, those blue eyes, as light as the sky on a sunny day, innocent and peaceful.

Francis.

“Oh, everything was great” he flashed Alistair a smile, his accent as evident as always and more endearing than ever before. “You shouldn’t worry!”

Alistair felt sick.

***

The introductions were over and everyone was sat at the table. Chatter filled the room, Francis being charming enough to fit in. He seemed oblivious. Oblivious to the fact that Arthur was eyeing his brothers with doubt and oblivious to Alistair.

He had barely spoken since the Frenchman came in, his uneasiness only heightening with each passing second. He was right since the very start. This thing wouldn’t end well.

He looked in the general direction where Francis sat, immediately catching his eyes. He smiled at him. At him. And Alistair couldn’t help but immediately hide behind a yet another glass of champagne.

He didn’t plan to get smashed tonight, but it seemed like fate decided differently.

He felt the champagne flowing down his throat, his cheeks heating up slightly.

Did he really not remember him? Did Francis seriously look him in the eyes and not recognise him at all? Did he not remember the time when they were dating? Yes, of course, it’s been almost ten years since then and yeah, Alistair changed quite a bit, but he couldn’t have possibly changed that much!

Alistair tried to imagine himself at the start of his geology course in University. Long hair, he was thinner and the bags under his eyes were much smaller. He didn’t have a beard. His face had much less frown lines.

Ten years… Perhaps it’s much longer than what he thought it was.

Looking at Francis yet again he understood that he didn’t change at all. He looked as young as before, his eyes didn’t loose their sparkle, he didn’t suffer from loneliness or constant fatigue. He didn’t age a day since the moment they parted.

A French exchange student. Half a year. The best half a year in Alistair’s life.

Could he really call it dating, through? Could be really say that they were in a relationship during that time?

No, it was a hookup. It was an affair, a time when they could release their needs, a time when they could simply give in to their desires.

There were no higher feelings in that.

There was no reason for them meeting up, other than letting themselves go for a night.

For Francis.

It didn’t matter for him, it didn’t mean much more than that to him, it wasn’t worth remembering for him.

But it meant the world to Alistair. And that world shattered when Francis promised to call and didn’t, when Francis promised to keep in touch and didn’t, when Francis promised to care and didn’t. When Francis left him without a care in the world.

“Oh, speaking about dessert!” he was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts by Dylan’s happy voice. “I bought a cake, Arthur’s favourite. Sorry, we didn’t know what you liked” he heard Francis hum with a smile on his face and forced himself to stay focused on the dialogue at hand, rather than the other time he heard Francis do that, his hair glowing in the rays of the rising sun, eyes half-lidded and sleepy—

“Oh, yes.” Alistair’s voice was low and he cleared his throat “I’ll go make some tea.”

He heard Dylan say something about him being ‘so considerate’, but it was somewhere far away, his mind filled only with how his numb hands were moving the chair away, pushing the door, grabbing the kettle, putting it on…

He heard the water being slowly heated by the gas stove and leaned against the counter, head in hands.

God, let Arthur break up with him.

God, let them not get along and don’t let this relationship progress any further.

It was a pain having to sit through a two hour dinner with Francis, what will happen if this goes on ? What if they marry ? Invite him to their wedding ? Adopt children ? Bring them over to Alistair’s for Christmas, exchanging pleasantries and be as oblivious to his position as right now ?! What will happen if Francis will be carved into his life, never available, but always torturously close ?!

Alistair wished for nothing but happiness to Arthur (even through it might not seem like it at times). But he wouldn’t be able to handle this.

The lock clicked.

He jumped up, whipping his head towards the door. And there he was. Francis.

“Are you feeling okay ?” He looked the slightest bit concerned, tilting his head to the side a little. Alistair’s right hand started shaking.

“Oh, aye. Aye, just a headache” he cleared his throat once again, wondering if it was suspicious that he did it so often and turned the gas off.

“Hm. Must be all the noise. Your brothers are very loud.” Francis stated with a smile, a soft blush gracing his cheeks.

Alistair scoffed.

“Yea. They tend to be.”

“Um…” he could see Francis shift from one leg to the other uneasily. “I was wondering… Have we met… before?” He could hear how uncomfortable he was, asking this question, his voice unsteady and eyes moved towards the wall in an unsure frown.

Alistair felt bile rise up.

He looked directly in front of himself, mind blank, eyes empty.

‘Have we met before…?’

He looked down onto the tea leaves slowly unwrapping in the kettle and felt bitterness flow through his body, wrapping around his heart.

‘Have we met before?!’

“No.” Alistair moved five cups across the counter, towards Francis “But I would appreciate if you took these to the living room” Francis smiled back to him.

“Anything for my boyfriend’s family to like me”

Clang of tableware, a wink, the door closing. And silence.

[kirklandsheartsecrets]

This is just the place i needed to find! Just know you’re filling a niche that desperately needed filling. For my request, liiiiittle NSFW but how would the kirklands react to an SO who is pretty flirtatious, but when it comes down to act, will only “service” them; wont let it happen the other way around. They’re reason being they dont want them disgusted with him/her. Heavy i know, but thanks even if you dont see this.

First of all thank you !

I am so glad to hear that my blog is filling this niche space for someone !

I really hope i fullfill my job correctly <3

slight nsfw under +18

uk brothers II NSFW II s/o who's flirtatious but with a subtle twist

❥ when at diner around his brothers, your leg slides up to his slowly he doesn't really know how to get out of here. Your leg is slowly going higher every second stoping over his inner thigh and poking his growing bulge. Alistair leans over the table, so no one could see your leg, in between his thighs. He does a great job doing, so, no one notices but his attention is sporadic. Later only you got to do what you wanted desperatly to for more than an hour .

Everytime his arm slidded up to your waist or is hand would sneak to your inner thighs you would take over immediately, resulting in you often giving him blowjobs.

He wasn't against it, but he wished he could sometimes do the same to you in return. To his eyes, you deserved to be serviced as well and pleased.

Alistair once whispered to you, asking why you wouldn't let him do so. He wanted to make sure your boundaries are set and if needed, your fears cleared away.

❥ connor whispering you dirty words doesn't really work but the other way around does. Pretty easy for his s/o. It could be in public or just randomly through the day at home together. When you whisper right behind his ears about how you two needed some private time together now, he rarely hesitates. He is easy to service, he doesn't hold back much and knows you find pleasure in servicing him. Even if he does find a liking to staring straight up at you while your hand works his dick in rythmn, he still wants to pleasure you in a certain way. Make it kiss you while you're pleasuring him or pleasure you in a certain way at the same time, his mind had all kinds of thoughts possible.

When you mentioned your fear on how he would see you, he made sure to show you the opposite so you never refuse again.

❥ something about sean made you want to service him real badly. Something about his looks maybe ? Your boyfriend is handsome but in this odd way. Was it how his hand would ran up through his undercut, or that smile of his.. ? Or could it be his personality, hiding this handsome of his. It's when he stands in front of the doors, or when he is slightly laid against the wall crossing his arms, something makes you want to make your boyfriend pleased, and pleased in th e most embarrassing ways ever. Watch his hot face crumble down when you start humping his crotch.

His eyebrows starts to frown slightly as he stay concentrated on your ass sliding back and forth over him. His cheeks light up quickly but he keeps this serious face, getting slowly lost as he reaches his limit. Right before he wanted to please you as well, wondering when he could switch the roles and undress you right there and change your mind about your worried thoughts. A pretty face like yours deserved to be teased and pleased the same way.

❥ dylan gets the point of your touching pretty quick, the way youre facing him, touching his arms and smiling lovingly in his eyes, he knows. If you got him to sit down, quickly enough he could not refuse the usual lap dance treatment. He could cum right there just watching you, he won't count the number of button up shirts he broke out of excitment, being to eager about it.

When you mess up his hair, your hands sliding over to all the right places. He clearly wants to destroy you and end you in the most wild ways.

It would only be fair to pay you back for your hard work on him all the time right ? When you refuse he needs to know why, such a hot person like you wouldn't want or need him to service you.

❥ cuddling with arthur until you start kissing all over his neck, making sure he disturbed enough to take over. When the kisses suddenly go slower, lingering on the spots and you slowly go down to the object of your interest. He loves it and makes sure you take time doing it so, part of your flirtatious act for him. Always plucking your lips over your finger and staring directly at him and now you would pluck those lips around something else bigger.

By when your done kissing it all, he is hard enough, about to throw you over but you never let him do so, earning his desperation but your eagerness to please him is stronger. When he learns the reasons on why you never let him make you feel good, he listens carefully and gives you a chance to try it out, so you could figure out your needs with him.

[lyndseyplayshss]

001: Lisa Counts

General Information:

Full Name: Lisa Marie Counts

Nickname(s): Li, Determinator

Age: 17

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Aquarius

Appearance:

Height: 5'10"

Weight: 190 lbs

Skin Color: Brown

Hair Color: Black with green ends

Hair Style: Waves

Eye Color: Green

Clothing Style: Punk, goth

Accessories: Eyebrow piercing, leather bracelets

Features: light freckles on bridge of nose, dimple on left cheek.

Relationships:

Family: Mom and dad, three brothers, one sister

Love Interest/Crush: Chase Cunningham (Prep)

Friends/Allies (outside of the main cast): Charlie Daniels (Nerd), Jackie Antalek (Gamer), Alistair Kirkland (Cheerleader), Quanita Warner (Writer), Zach Morris (Filmmaker)

Enemies (outside of the main antagonists): a few people from her old school

History:

Second oldest of 5 kids, Lisa has always been someone who protects the people she cares about. From a young age she put others above her, and thought of everyone as a new friend she hadn't made yet. Unfortunately that left her open for people to take advantage of her, and she was ultimately betrayed by people she considered friends. She left her private school and went home, and while exploring the town her parents had moved to, she found Haven Academy and became it's first official student.

Outside of that, her family is incredibly varied. Her eldest brother Ben is in college, her estranged twin brother Lance attends Apollo Academy, younger brother Jack recently transferred from the same school, and youngest sister Jade is considering transferring from Twin Branches.

Other Information:

Likes: sushi, rock music, anime

Dislikes: bugs, clowns, being cold

Hobbies: cosplay, drums, writing

Habits: gum chewing, nail biting, writing

Fears: bugs, breaking a bone, raw meat

Trivia: She's an excellent dancer, her favorite sport is hockey, and she did a short stint on a variety show as a kid

If they could switch cliques, which one would they go to: anime club

[hetamery]

Fucked AU about Hetalia

So… Idk, this will be my first oficial post. And I just want to talk about the fucked up AU of humans Uk brothers + Sealand that I actually made for a WhatsApp chat roll with my friends… 

A little bit of context: a few months ago, I made a chat about a hetalia in the Victorian era with humans Au, so in the chat I was Iggy and Peter. In short, it was about the aristocracy, there was drama, ball dances and those things; so I made a whole story to the UK brothers + Sealand you know, background, parents, I gave them names (you'll see what I'm talking about when I explain the Au) and the whole thing. 

Once I gave you the context of the reason for this disease that I'm going to tell you, now I will start. 

It all starts with the first cousins lord Aidan Florence Kirkland and lady Rosemary Kirkland, the great-grandparents of those with thick eyebrows. Well, simply and simply, their parents arranged marriage for them (like Ciel and Lizzie from Kurojitsuji). They got married, their only child is Abraham, Abraham married Clementine, the children of them are Diana, the older one and Adam. Diana falls in love with Mr. Murray, they get married and their son is Sean Darren Murray (Irland). Adam married lady Charlotte and their children are Alistair Guillaume Duncan Kirkland (Scotland), Liam Chandler Flynn Kirkland (Northern Ireland), Idwall Étienne Dylan Kirkland (Wales), Arthur Philippe Conor Kirkland (England), Peter Alexandre Lyon Kirkland (Sealand). So, Alistair is the older one, then Liam, who is one year younger than Alistair, but one year older than the twins, Wales and Arthur, they are three years older than Peter. 

Being that the thick eyebrows are sons of Adam, the Duke of Richmond (yes I already know that title existed, but what did you expect, I'm so silly to invent a noble title). 

And well, and the grandparent sends Arthur to organise a lavish ball dance for Peter's 18th birthday (Peter is his favourite grandson since he inherited his father's blue eyes and has much vigour, remember that in a chapter of hetalia they mentioned that Sealand was made of steel). And that’s it, the rest of the role was the ball dance with the other characters of hetalia, ah, yes Adam is gay, his father forced him to marry Lady Charlotte and the UK brothers inherited Charlotte's green eyes. 

I have more headcanons about the Kirkland family, about how I developed them in the Au, also as to create the personality of my Peter I base on the personality that Dorian Gray had at the beginning of the novel, I also have stories from the other characters like Francis, but I think it has been enough to read this thing for you... I have to finish a chemistry project and I writing this sin with two hours of sleep.

After this I won't go back to the internet after a month,

Adieu, little biscuits 🍪