#alison is a mother of 9

[coffeeinthelibrary]

realist thing BBC ghosts has done so far was the Sorry Song in s4e3 and then Alison asking what they did wrong and none of them knowing i swear I got flashbacks to writing my mum a sorry card and having no clue why she was mad

[asexual-squidward]

I'm once again back and have reworked the finale - not because I'm in ANY WAY a better writer than the gang, but just because it's been swirling around my head for days

9 months later and the baby arrives.

The ghosts are thrilled, and life goes back to normal – only now Alison finds it a bit of a struggle. The baby needs constant care (as babies do), and so the ghosts constant troublemaking and need for attention is even harder to put up with. The Captain tries to keep the ghosts at bay to help, but easily falls into fawning over Mia with Pat. Robin accidentally scares the baby with his jump scares, while Kitty is like an overexcited child who wants to treat the baby like a doll. Fanny is also very strict about how *she* would raise the baby). Mike’s mum is also staying, and the constant advice and overseeing by both living and dead family members is getting too much for Alison.

Meanwhile, Mike is still trying to babyproof the house, but is finding it impossible. There are draughts in the windows, the walls have damp and eventually the ceiling of the living room falls through – luckily just onto the ghosts, but it’s enough for everyone to realise the house is a deathtrap for a baby. This happens as a culmination of Alison snapping, frustrated that she isn’t being given space to be a parent. The ghosts realise suddenly that they are exactly like Mike’s mum, and that they are hurting Alison by being around.

The ghosts hold a group meeting to talk through what has happened. They agree on the same conclusion – that while the ghosts all died before their time, Alison has the opportunity none of them have: to leave Button House and live a full life. (“I know it’s hard, we’ve all had people we love leave this house behind them. Isabelle, Sophie, Havers, we all let them leave for their own good so they could live the lives that we couldn’t – and while that hurts, it is ultimately for the best.”)

At the same time Alison admits to Mike that she kind of wishes that they had a chance to live as their own family without Mike’s mum and the ghosts interfering. They can get rid of Mike’s mum, but the ghosts are obviously here to stay. Mike suggests they do move after all, but Alison says she hadn’t had any family of her own before the ghosts – and she worries about what will happen to them if she doesn’t stay.

Shortly afterwards the ghosts turn up and tell Alison what they’ve concluded – while they love her as a family, they also recognise that Alison deserves to escape the house like they never could. Alison wants to say no immediately, saying that the ghosts have lost so much already, but agrees to think about it for the sake of Mike and Mia.

The ghosts file downstairs, wondering what decision Alison will make. Just then, Mike’s mother-in-law arrives with the vicar to perform an exorcism. The scene plays out as in the episode, with Alison for an awful moment thinking that she has lost the ghosts forever – but is relieved to find they are alright.

After Mike’s mum leaves, Alison does some thinking – the near-loss of her family making her realise that she cannot leave them behind forever. She goes for a walk through the village, nodding to some other ghosts as she goes. She passes a small cottage which is just going up for sale, it doesn’t look like there are any ghosts in it. She races home, telling Mike she has a plan.

Alison goes into the ghosts’ quarters and has a chat. She admits that she loves them, that they are the only family she has outside of Mike and Mia and that they have changed her forever – the ghosts agree, saying that they’ve grown too. Robin is sad but solemnly admits that people leaving is never easy for ghosts, but when a ghost ‘moves on’ the ones left behind never truly get a chance to say goodbye or know exactly what is waiting for them afterwards – but with Alison he knows that what is waiting for her is a good and happy life.

Alison springs one final surprise, that while they are moving they will only be living a short while down the road in a cottage closer to the village. The hotel will take time to build of course, but even after the hotel is up and running Alison says she will be able to come and go from the grounds as much as she likes to come and visit them, meaning that like any other family they aren’t stuck together but also not forced apart.

The moving away montage happens same as before, but with Mike and Alison and Mia moving into the cottage. There’s a montage of the hotel being newly opened, Alison walking through the foyer and seeing Fanny eavesdropping on gossip, Humphrey’s head perched on the reception desk, and the Captain is following the (very handsome) concierge around trying to act like he’s directing things. Alison and Mike walk with the ghosts across the grounds, Mia in the pram still smiling at the ghosts, and wave goodbye at the entrance.

The flash forward happens too, this time Alison and Mike as an old couple walking up to the hotel and mirroring the first episode, but this time to check in. The ending happens same as before, with her greeting the ghosts in her own personal suite.

[inlovewith-icecream]

Pretty Little Liars: Ten Theories on the Mannequin Family

1. Vivian Darkbloom’s family.

Vivian Darkbloom is Alison's alter-ego, her fantasy self when she’s living another life: “Don’t you wish you could just be someone else?” Charlotte later takes on her identity, fleeing to Paris.

She’s supposed to be what Alison and Charlotte then want to be, and that includes the perfect “model” family, sharing “cherished memories” and “warmth and laughter” that Charlotte didn’t get.

2. Alex Drake’s wealthy family.

Alex Drake was sold from Mary Drake and Dr Cochrane to a wealthy British family that abandoned her at an orphanage when she was four.

Her adoptive parents along with adoptive siblings that were kept and loved, unlike her. The handprints on the wall are the mark of Alex who was abandoned by her adoptive family and lived a terrible life, even if they’re still living in their perfect model family.

3. Sara Harvey’s family.

Parents and a little brother, the blonde little girl can be either Sara or her sister instead (similar to number two where Alex is missing from the family dolls).

We learn Sara came from an abusive home in early S6. This could be related to the handprints on the wall.

4. More standard - Charlotte’s family.

Of course there could be a more standard answer to this question: simply Jason, Charlotte, Jessica, Kenneth. This is when Charlotte was still with her family. Jessica is pregnant with Alison.

After Alison came into the world Charlotte’s life changed not only by the bathtub incident but the boundless love she’d always have for her sister.

5. Bethany’s family.

Related to Charlotte giving (via Black Widow) condolence flowers to Bethany Young’s parents? Maybe or maybe not. The handprints on the wall are in three different colours. Three different Dilaurentis’s (the family of puppet masters) had its hand in affecting that family, and not for the better.

First - Jessica having an affair with Mr Young.

Second - Charlotte either trying to hit Bethany the night she died or digging up her grave, maybe there’s more we don’t know on Radley…

Third - Alison was supposed to be the target, but the hit ended up being made on Bethany. A fatal mistake…

6. Archer Dunhill’s family.

The reasoning for why Charlotte would have a mannequin family of Archer’s family (presumably casting him as the young boy) is dubious. However since he was her love it’s not implausible to assume she’d commemorate him in some way - and what better way to do that other than the other thing she loves the most; dolls?

7. Wren Kingston’s family.

Same with Archer especially since he was a major part of Charlotte meeting her sister and he seemed to know about the Dilaurentis-Drake-Hastings family drama back in *season 5* according to 7x20. Is it really a stretch to suspect a bigger role from him?

8. Charlotte and Archer’s future family.

With how much Charlotte cares about family it isn’t out of the picture that she’d want one with her true love Archer. The black haired mother Charlotte could be the Vivian Darkbloom disguise she continues donning after she runs away with Archer after being in Welby.

9. Not loved ones but lost ones.

The woman is Marion Cavanaugh, the man is Darren Wilden, the little girl is Bethany Young, and the little boy is “Charles” Dilaurentis.

It’s not a family, it’s the ones Charlotte has lost along the way, for better or worse, by outside forces or by choice (Side note: The handprints represent who they are survived by, one person with each colour. Maybe Marion is red or Wilden is or Bethany is green, could go either way. Either way none of them are for “Charles”).

10. Alice’s family.

No deeper meaning, but could this be the third reference to the mysterious, almost ghost-like, little blonde girl?

(In my view, this seems the most likely theory.)

[demisexualnathanvuornos]

Lucas Bryant as (Step)Dad (2004-2023) [for Finnish Father's Day 2023]

1. Nathan Wuornos (Haven 3x13 Thanks for the Memories/ 5x26 Forever, 2013/2015)

2. Young Chuck Taggart (Odyssey 5 1x14 Begotten, 2004)

3. Calvin Puddie (Playing House, 2006)

4. Harry (Faux Baby webseries 1x5 Super Dad, 2008)

5. Peter Claus (Merry In-Laws, 2012)

6. Jesse Powell (Cracked 1x12 Old Soldiers, 2012)

7. Daniel Kenman (Secret Summer, 2016)

8. Colin Fitzgerald (Summer Love, 2016)

9. Phillip Anderson (Frankie Drake Mysteries 1x8 Pilot, 2018)

10. Jack Sutherland (Time for You to Come Home for Christmas, 2019)

11. Matthew Anderson (The Angel Tree, 2020)

12. Matthew Jamison (Five More Minutes: Moments Like These, 2022)

13. Eric Parsons (A World Record Christmas, 2023)

1. Biological father of James Cogan (Steve Lund), 20 years before he was born. Gets to raise him after the finale from a baby.

2. Young version of Chuck Taggart, father to Neil and Keith.

3. Expectant father, briefly co-parent, ends up with the mother (Joanne Kelly).

4. His wife (Missy Yager) gets a practice doll when they are thinking of getting kids.

5. Son of Santa, a teacher, wants to marry an astrologist (Kassia Warshawski) with a son who is in his class. Jacob Thurmeier as Max Spencer.

6. Homeless army vet suffering from PTSD makes some attempts to be a better father to his son raised by his brother.

7. Father and husband with two kids works a lot, so he has his brother take care of the kids during a summer. Max Page as Noah and Chiara Aurelia as Hailey. Emily Rose as wife.

8. Maya (Rachel Leigh Cook) works an internship at his tech company over the summer, they fall in love. Maya's daughter approves as they go sail around. Hannah Cheramy as Addison Sulliway

9. 1920s Canadian pilot and eugenics enthusiast. Has a deaf son he tries to get kidnapped and killed. He dies instead.

10. Meets a widow (Alison Sweeney) and her son on the way to figure out who saved his life years prior. Turns out it was the widow's late husband. He falls in love and gets along well with the son. In Time for Them to Come Home for Christmas (2021), Alison Sweeney's character reveals they got married. Kiefer O'Reilly as Will Moss.

11. Reunites with childhood best friend (Jill Wagner) who has a daughter and a dead husband. Also raising his nephew while his sister Zoe (Clare Filipow) is stationed over seas. Cassidy Nugent as Cassie McBride and Oscar Farrell as Owen Anderson.

12. Played football with the widow's (Ashley Williams) husband in high school, now works as a real estate person wanting to buy the house they lived in. Helps renovate the house and they fall in love while he also develops a relationship with the son. A funcle to 8 nephews. Brady Droulis as Adam Morrison.

13. Stepfather to an autistic kid. Bio dad left. Becomes Dad to Charlie and has another baby with his wife (Nikki DeLoach) in the end. Aias Dalman as Charlie Parsons.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 10 Portrayals of Mrs. Hudson

The last time I did a list related to the “supporting cast” of the Sherlock Holmes universe, I did a Top 10 of my favorite takes on Inspector Lestrade. Today we’ll be going over the other member of the “Baker Street Family,” Mrs. Hudson.

Mrs. Hudson is a character whom I often feel gets overlooked in the grand pattern of Holmes’ cast. She’s not really a major player in most of the original stories, but her presence is a fairly constant one. Like Watson and Lestrade, she essentially acts as an anchor, bringing some semblance of sanity into the wild madness that is Holmes and his world. Some adaptations barely make use of her, but a lot of my favorites play up the relationship between herself and her tenants in some fun ways. Mrs. Hudson is usually shown to be a sort of surrogate mother to Holmes, in more ways than one: she loves him dearly, but she’s also always in a tizzy over his hijinks, and forever put off by his rude behavior. 

The two flip-flop between genuine affection and sniping at one another constantly…but no matter how often they fuss and fume, each genuinely couldn’t imagine being without the other. She is just as valuable a member of the team as Watson, or any member of Scotland Yard, and just as persistent a character. Very few Sherlock Holmes adaptations are without her, even if she’s just there for a few moments. For, as one version of Holmes rightly stated: “Mrs. Hudson leave Baker Street? England would fall.” Picking my favorite versions of Mrs. Hudson was really quite difficult, but I think I managed to arrange and choose some winners from the bunch. With that said, let’s see those winners now! Help yourself to some tea and muffins: these are My Top 10 Favorite Portrayals of Mrs. Hudson!

10. Alison Leggatt, from The Seven Per-Cent Solution.

Honestly, I mostly chose this one because of the actress. It’s hard for me not to enjoy the Queen of Hearts as Mrs. Hudson.

9. Candis Cayne, from Elementary.

An interesting modern interpretation of the character to say the least. In this series, Miss Hudson - rather than Missus - is a slight latecomer to the show, and acts as a maid rather than a landlady. She’s a recurring character throughout the show, but ultimately not as prominent as one might expect after her initial appearance.

8. Mrs. Judson, from The Great Mouse Detective.

Voiced by Diana Chesney. While her role is very small, her brief scenes have always been quite memorable to me, and I felt this list wouldn’t be complete without this rodent reimagining.

7. Geraldine James, from the Guy Ritchie Films.

By far the most snarly relationship between a Holmes and Hudson of practically any version. I wish there had been some more genuine warmth between the two, but I will say that their banter is quite amusing.

6. Pat Keen, from Without a Clue.

In this film, Watson and Holmes effectively swap out, as it’s revealed the doctor is the real mastermind with Sherlock as his bungling sidekick. Mrs. Hudson is one of the few people who knows the truth, which is only fitting.

5. Mary Gordon, from the FOX/Universal Films.

While Mary Gordon didn’t really DO much throughout these movies - nor in the radio show with Basil Rathbone & Nigel Bruce, where she was also a constant presence - something about her was just so memorable. She brought a sort of befuddled warmth to her scenes, and it’s worth noting that she was the only character, aside from the original Dynamic Duo, to appear in every single movie to some degree or another.

4. The Version from Moriarty the Patriot.

Much like Elementary, this version of the character is called “Miss” Hudson, and is depicted as much younger than usual. She’s something of a comic relief figure, but she still manages to work as an excellent take on the character. I love the sort of big sister/little brother relationship she has with Sherlock, and while, again, she rarely actually DOES much, she’s always fun to see in action.

3. Rina Zelyonaya, from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson.

It was hard to choose between my top three takes on Mrs. Hudson, as all of them are pretty close together, and could all be considered arguably the definitive takes on the character, in my opinion. In this Russian series, Zelyonaya’s Hudson is a wonderfully experienced old lady. You get the feeling she’s known Holmes since he was still VERY young, and knows him better than anybody, even Dr. Watson.

2. Rosalie Williams, from the Granada Series.

This is one of the most “motherly” versions of Mrs. Hudson, in my opinion, in the way she interacts with both Holmes and the good doctor. I love her moments of temper and authority, but I also love her moments of genuine concern and care when they come out. I think one of my favorite parts of the show was all her scenes in “The Empty House,” and how excitedly she gets involved once she realizes Sherlock is still alive.

1. Una Stubbs, from Sherlock.

Much like Rosalie Williams, this version of Mrs. Hudson has one of the most overtly motherly demeanors of any version. I love how she’s so sweet and bubbly on the outset, but then as the show goes on you realize there is a real steel underneath that seemingly frail surface. Like most of the other major cast members, it was neat to see her go from the modern world to period Victoriana in “The Abominable Bride,” and I was very sad to learn of her recent passing. A marvelous depiction overall.

[timedontgiveashit]

The Dead Weather video masterpost part 3 for @emilybrontescoffins (This is mostly the interviews+other stuff part) 1. The Dead Weather & The Kills on Parts Unknown I'm sure you've already seen this, but this is the most perfect house party ever. This is everything and more what a fan can ask for. Watch the full Parts Unknown episode if you have a chance and if you have seen it already, time to rewatch. 2. The Dead Weather - Mini Doc #3 "Beefheart House" They are big fans of Captain Beefheart and visited Don Van Vliet's childhood home on their way back from the Treat Me Like Your Mother video shoot. It turns funny as the family that was actually living there came out not understanding what they were doing in front of their house. Best part is: "Hi my name is Jack, I'm all covered in fake blood" 3. The Dead Weather Full Flash Blank Documentary -part 1 -part 2 -part 3 Including the "We need more room on this couch!" and the iconic "Shut the hell up LJ!" 4. The Dead Weather Interview - Amsterdam "That's not the kind of fruit I'm talking about" 5. The Dead Weather Muse on the Future of Music, Supergroup War Alison can't stop laughing. Literally. It always makes me smile. 6. Intro meets The Dead Weather The introverted squad finally talks: Alison, Dean and LJ being shy, cute and relatable without Jack talking over them. 7. The Dodge and Burn video series (I know this is an obvious choice, but at the same time I found this important enough to put on the list) -Alison -LJ -Dean -Jack 8. Jack White and Alison Mosshart inteview "First time" I just love this one. 9. Alison Mosshart & Jack White - Q Interview (Part 1) and (Part 2) "Can you confirm or deny you are in fact sex?" :DDDD 10. When the interviewer is weird and the whole interview goes awkward compilation - Dead Weather Interview with Kennedy "hotter than dogballs" I love Dean's reaction for the compliment he gets lol. - Jack White gives a guitar lesson (oh man...) -Video Hits Interview The Dead Weather This tops everything in this category. The male reporter makes it weird multiple times, then Jack tries to take over his job, Dean's face when the guy starts talking about the organ sound is priceless, and then the "That's hip-hop" , "Chickens have ribs?", "My kids are three years old, they don't have teeth yet"....lmao. (I have to add if something THIS was hip-hop.)

Maybe I will make a part 4 too for you, just because I realized there's enough not so common videos in my Dead Weather playlist to make it.

[justlookatthosesausages]

I am VERY emotional about BBC Ghosts' final season coming soon and since we went down the bittersweet and fluffy headcanons route with @phenixy-dunnhart and @cheery-space-lizz, here you go fams, a reminder that I headcanon since DAY ONE that if Alison and Mike have a child in the last season it will go that way:

Alison feels nauseous for a week and can’t tell why and she starts to stop hearing and seeing the ghosts around so she panics and feels really sad about it, and Mike can’t do anything and feels sad for her too though he is very supportive, and one morning out of a sudden idea she takes a pregnancy test and it’s positive and Mike is super happy at the news (after fainting first) and the ghosts are extatic and for months she communicates with them through (very slow) means like Julian typing on the laptop or whatever and at one point Pat goes “You know Alison, the reason why you can’t see us anymore maybe is because you’re carrying life now…” and they all bet that it’s exactly why and 9 months later when the baby arrives in the Button House where it already has so many uncles and aunties, Alison suddenly hears and sees them all again and they’re all gathered around her with tears of joy and she’s having the best day of her life because she’s a mother AND she got her family back

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE FLANGST GET IT

also when I first shared this headcanon, @hell-and-pepsi added: "Bonus if the kid can see ghosts too" and they were SO RIGHT

Like omg of course the kid sees the ghosts and Julian runs around pretending that he’s the one the kid saw first.

“Don’t you get it? Alison saw me first, they saw me first-”

Robin: that only because you walk butt naked, they are shock

Fanny: you’re wearing animal pelts every day, Robin. If anything, you’re as shocking to children eyes.

Pat: that doesn’t change the fact they probably sees us. Did anyone else try? It’s too bad they're all in town right now it would have been lovely to try it.

Kitty, beaming: They smiled to me yesterday!

Captain, rolling his eyes: The kid smiles all the time, Kitty, it’s no proof. (Then coughs because he doesn’t want the others to comment on how he tenderly observes the baby) What- uhm- what about you, Thomas?

Thomas: (dramatic sigh) I long of the day this lovely child will notice my undeniable love for–

Robin: it no.

Julian: yeah.

Pat: yeah.

[1533-secrets-from-history]

Eleanor of Aquitaine- The grandmother of Europe

(part 1)

The First person on my list would be Eleanor of Aquitaine, Queen of France,Queen of England, Duchess of Aquitaine(suo jure). I will talk about her life and legends that surrounds her.

Origin and birth

Birth of Eleanor was result of one scandalous marriage. Courtly love was very much appreciated and encouraged in France and therefore in Aquitaine as well. As a result, paternal grandfather of Eleanor, William IX duke of Aquitaine, took Eleanor's maternal grandmother as official mistress. The name of her grandmother is officially unknown, though it is theorised to be Amauberge de I'Isle Bouchard,but she is widely known as dangereuse, for her seductive nature. Her family was not the most important in France, therefore her interest in powerful men is understandable. During her time as mistress, she acquired great wealth and influence, William built the tower of maubergeonne in Poitiers castle. However, William's infidelity was widely known, therefore if she wanted to remain in her position, she would need to act further. Around 1121, she wedded her daughter Aenor to the son of William IX, future William X. Three children were born from this marriage. First Eleanor,the Petronilla and another William.

Palais de Justice, Poitiers, Poitou-Charentes, France. seat of House Ramnulfid and center of Duchy of Aquitaine. Famous court of Eleanor was held in this castle.

The date of birth of Eleanor is the subject of discussion. 13th century genealogy of her family lists her as 13 years old in 1137,making her date of birth 1124. However according to British historian, author and biographer Alison Weir, her fourteenth birthday was celebrated in 1136, which means she was born in 1122,that is supported by her widely accepted age of 82 at the time of her death.

According to some historians, she was named Aenor after her mother and was called Alia Aenor, meaning "the other Aenor" in Latin, later she adopted her name as Eleanor. Detailed appearance of her is never mentioned in any source or chronicle of her time, though many later painters, authors or filmmakers, usually depict her as women of golden/blonde hair and gray-blue eyes.

However, we can estimate her appearance by indirect sources. The effigy of her tomb represents a tall, big boned woman, while her seal from 1151 depicts the slender woman. Despite her general appearance being unknown, her beauty is non-questionable. By contemporary sources she was beyond beautiful, gracious, regal and lovely with charming eyes. Even in her old age the beauty of Eleanor was widely admired.

Along with her physical beauty, her personality was very fascinating. She was extroverted, lively, intelligent and outspoken, she knew how to talk, joke and win people's hearts. However, she also had a side that was considered undescribable for a woman and wife. She was fierce, stubborn, confident, ambitious and determined.

Upbringing and education

In 1130 her mother and brother, heir of Poitiers, died. That made 8 years old Eleanor heir presumptive of Aquitaine, the richest and largest land in France. Future duchess would need best education,which her father ensures she would get. Along with feminine arts like embroidery, needle work, singing,dancing,sewing,weaving and household management, she was also taught history, philosophy,poetry, arithmetic, constellation and court politics. Eleanor was a renowned horse rider,hunter and archer. As future leader, she learned diplomacy and negotiation skills, as well as Latin and France along with her native poitevin. We can freely say- she was utterly well-prepared for her role and duty as duchess when she inherited Aquitaine in 1137 after the death of her father on 9 april of the same year.

Inheritance and first marriage.

The day his father died, he left the will according to which, Eleanor would succeed him as Duchess of Aquitaine and king Louise VI was named her guardian. As ruler of the largest and richest land in France Eleanor soon became the most desirable bride in all Europe. King Louise himself was gravely ill, it was his best interest to strengthen the kingdom of France and royal family of Capets for his heir did not exactly have powerful characteristics. As a result of those circumstances, Louis VI of France wedded Eleanor and price Louise on July 25 about three months after Eleanor's succession. They were crowned as Duke and Duchess of Aquitaine,but duchy retained independence from France and would remain so until their future son would inherit it from his mother and join two lands as king of France and duke of Aquitaine. The plan that was never meant to be fulfilled. For the wedding price Louise accompanied Eleanor to France along with 500 knights. The bride herself gifted a lavish vase to future husband. A piece of art that still survives these days.

Vase of Eleanor

Per tradition the newly wed couple started royal procession through french provinces,it was not even brought to it's end when on 1 August,barely a week after the wedding, king died. News only reached the couple's ears on 8 August, they were now king and Queen of France and were crowned on 25 December of same year. Eleanor was loved by a young husband so much that he would spare no expense to fulfill her every whim, even if it meant reconstructing the castle to match her taste. That caused major dislike from other influential french people, for example Queen mother,who considered Eleanor as a bad influence and her actions irresponsible. Morever, some northerners and religious leaders considered her confident, outspoken and high- spirited nature as too undignified for proper queen.

Picture that depicts marriage of Eleanor and Louis(left) and going to crusades(right)

Eleanor the crusader

If you ask me, and I as confident many historican would agree, the idea of the second crusade was long formed, however Eleanor was indirectly responsible for an excuse that started the second crusades. In 1142-44 conflict between Louis and Theobald took place, the reason behind this was Eleanor's involvement. On her pressure, Louis permitted Roul I,count of Vermandois to reject the hand of Eleanor of Blois in marriage and instead marry the sister of the Queen. As the count was offended war broke out. One of the consequences of the war was the massacre of vitry, during which nearly thousand people died of fire, when they were hiding in church. Louis felt personal fault in this incident and asked the pilgrimage to Holly lands to atone the sin. In turn, Pope Eugine III suggested him to lead second crusades. Eleanor had given birth to long Desired child the same year after dreadful miscarriage in 1138,but she was not going to be stay-at-home mom and lead Aquitainian forces herself in 1147. Many things happened during the second crusades,but I want to underline some major events around Eleanor.

Louise was an ineffective leader, not the best tactican or inspirator, could not maintain order and discipline in the army. For that reason he was not particularly liked, unlike Eleanor who showed quite the opposite qualities, she was admired so much that some Greek historians even compare her to Queen of Amazons. After that their relationship started to get worse, they would argue much and it was clear(in my opinion) that Louis was jealous of his wife.

During the battle of mount cadmus, many French soldiers were trapped and killed by Turks and as leader Geoffrey de rancon, who suggested to continue the way after some conflict about the plan, blame was put upon him and through him Eleanor. However, the fact that Eleanor still remained popular and Louis became even more disliked, as well as Aquitainian forces not joining the battle might mean that Eleanor was not a supporter of the plan and refused to take part in it. That would make accusations against her wrong.

Eleanor requested divorce due to matter of consanguinity,but Louise rejected it, even more he forced Eleanor to accompany him in further raids, which humiliated and deeply upsets her and her knights as a result french army practically divided in two, followed by Louis's wartime failures and final return to home.

The crusades were not particularly fruitless.While in the eastern Mediterranean, Eleanor learned about maritime conventions developing there, which were the beginnings of what would become admiralty law. She introduced those conventions in her own lands and later in England as well. She was also instrumental in developing trade agreements with Constantinople and ports of trade in the Holy Lands. While they were returning to France their separate ships were attacked and they lost the track of one another, they thought each other to be dead and after two months, Eleanor was sheltered by king of Sicily, that's where she learnt that her husband was alive,but uncle, whom was rumoured to have relationship with Eleanor, was killed by Muslims. That caused her to change plans, she went to Pope Eugine and persuaded him not to divorce them. She even arranged to deconsumate the wedding that caused the birth of another daughter. Without son marriage was doomed and in march of 1152 by the agreement from both sides the marriage was annulled. Eleanor once again became the most desirable bride in all Europe, many French noblemen wanted her hand in marriage as per treaty Aquitaine was still hers due to not having a son with Lous. The duchy was more than third of whole France so such lands could not have been lost. However Eleanor refused all suggestions and instead married Henry duke of Normandy, future king Henry II of England. The marrige would cause another scandal.

I will continue the part II with her marriage to Henry.

[freakingoutthesquares]

Sexual Squealing! Words: Jonny Dee, Photographer: Steve Double Taken from the New Musical Express, 9 April 1994 Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons

After 13 years Pulp are Top 40 virgins no more, having finally lost their pop cherry with 'Do You Remember The First Time?' Jonny Dee shares some pillow talk with Jarvis Cocker and comedian/Pulp fan Jo Brand before making his excuses and leaving to poll various popstars about their very own first time.

Pressed up against a hotel room window 25 flights above the city. With UHT cream. And the whole of the Cowdenbeath reserve football team watching. In the toilets on Concorde. On a desk, On the roof. On a washing machine. They did it with candle wax. They did it in a bin liner filled with sun tan lotion. Up against the bonnet of a hired car, in Safeways car-park, at night, right in front of a security camera. With fruit. On drugs. In the bath with a bottle of Matey. She smeared fish paste all over his chest then they went at it like rabbits. In the rain. With Robbie Coltrane. On a mountain. They did it.

For most people, these situations are ridiculous fantasies. It never really happens like that. For the majority of us, it's damp patches, squeaky beds awkward. Pulp realise this. They know there's a world somewhere in between David Lynch and Grange Hill, The concrete world of council estates, Berni Inns, parks and pubs.

Jarvis Cocker, Pulp, Jo Brand and the NME have sat around a table in an East London photo studio all weekend, drinking coffee, telling each other things they'd never dare tell their mothers. About wanking... "I remember when someone first mentioned the word masturbate," remembers Jarvis. "I raced home to look in the dictionary and it said 'to abuse oneself'. I thought what, like shout 'you twat' at the mirror?"

About friends, about going with your best mate's girlfriend, Jarvis has talked about his favourite celebrity perv rumours - the American singer who enjoyed shitting on a glass coffee table while his partner lay underneath; the hamster story; the TV host who said "f--- me 'til I fart" to the producer in what they thought was an empty studio; the '80s star who went to hospital and had two pints of semen pumped out of him ("Later, it became dog semen!").

He talked about his first time, and his last time and the in between times. Now it seemed as if he'd gone too far - revealed too much. Recently Jarvis Cocker told a magazine about an erotic correspondence he keeps with a woman he has never met. Talking about how it had ruined the salacious magic of their postal affair. Revealing his sexual fantasy now would probably do the same. You don't have to tell us if you don't want, Jarvis. But he will. Because Jarvis Cocker loves to talk. And when you talk to Jarvis Cocker it is impossible not to talk about sex.

Pulp's songs are full of it. Their excellent new album, 'His 'n' Hers', is bulging with songs about shagging, and relationships, and what goes on between two people behind the net curtains: 'Lipgloss' - about being chucked by your lover; 'Acrylic Afternoons' - about making love in the afternoon being more special because everyone else is at work; 'Babies' - about spying on teenage lovers from a wardrobe; 'Pink Glove' - about dressing up to keep your sexual appetite feisty; and, of course, Pulp's first bona fide hit single 'Do You Remember The First Time?'.

Jarvis remembers his first time. He talks about it in a short film Pulp have made about the subject which will be shown on Channel 4 next month. It was in a park in his hometown of Sheffield, at night, behind some privet hedges, about 20 yards away from a bandstand. He was 19 and Pulp had just released their first album. Also in the film, talking about who, why, when and where are a dozen or so friends and celebrities - Jo Brand. Vic & Bob, Terry Hall, Alison Steadman. Justine from Elastica and Vivien Stanshall, among others.

"People imagine that celebrities have this idealised life," says Jarvis. "Again, it's the thing about sex being shown in this idealised light and really you should do it on a beach at sunset and violins are going to be playing. And somehow, if you do it in the back of a Ford Cortina then you've not done it properly. These famous people, all their introductions were as fumbling and untidy as anyone else's."

Russell, Pulp's guitarist, who has puzzlingly brought along 182 pairs of second-hand sunglasses all wrapped in protective plastic sheets, is, obviously, an obsessively fastidious character. Yet he is a man whose current star status - Pulp are on the verge of their much-longed-for Top Of The Pops and This Morning debuts - is anchored to nappies and bringing home the bacon as father to a six-month-old boy and five-year-old girl. Russell's sexual awakenings are, unsurprisingly, the strangest of all. He was 16 on a camping holiday with some mates... "I met this ginger lass and although I didn't really like her very much I thought, y-know, she was alright. So I asked her back to our tent, there was about four of us in it and nothing really happened but in the middle of the night I got all tangled and I ended up on top of this person next to me, doing it. But it wasn't this ginger girl, it was my friend's girlfriend," And was the friend in the tent at the time? "Oh yeah, he wasn't very happy about it, like"

Bassist Steve, a Sheffield Wednesday fan, lost his cherry in a house that backed on to Sheffield United's Bramall Lane ground when he was 16, to a glamorous blonde nine years his senior. Nick, the drummer, rather suitably since he's the sensible member of the group, lost his in a loft conversion "on some nice orange scatter cushions".

Resplendent in self-applied make-up and jumble sale chic, Pulp have the air of a band that has just stepped out of the salon. Jo Brand, meanwhile, looks like she's just stepped out of Ladbrokes. She is here today to share a makeshift conjugal bed with Jarvis for the NME. The scene is intended to insinuate that Jo has just seduced the lead singer of Britain's most fancy pop band. In reality the liaison is far from romantic - photographer Steve Double stands five feet above them balancing on a wobbling plank suspended between two ageing step ladders.

"Could you light up another fag, please Jo?" asks the lensman as the comedian puts out her 15th Silk Cut of the hour. "Oh, yes please," she deadpans, relishing the prospect. Sadly, in true life, Jo and Jarv are not lovers, but just good friends. They met after Brand professed a liking for Pulp in an NME interview and later agreed to appear in the First Time film. Hers was at a party, in the bathroom, with her head knocking against the toilet through the 30 seconds it took her first mate to climax. Jarvis and Jo make a good couple, both are collected and down to earth and from similar backgrounds - both have cared for people with disabilities, Jo as a psychiatric nurse, Jarvis in a nursery for deaf children. "When I first met Jarvis I embarrassed him by saying I thought 'Razzmatazz' was a work of utter genius," Jo reveals. "I don't really like much modern music, my head is stuck in the bands I liked when I was a teenager - The Clash and The Damned. But Pulp are great. I like Jarvis' songs because he realises that life is basically shit, but it's OK really."

That's Jarvis and Pulp encapsulated. For most people, the realisation that life is basically shit and not all Tizer and Cadbury's Roses comes when they're tortured teenagers, Jarvis Cocker, though, had his first Bell Jar moment at the age of five. "I had meningitis, that's what f---ed up my eyes. And because everyone thought I was going to die I got given loads of brilliant presents. then when I didn't die all the presents had to be burnt. All except these crap rubber spacemen 'cos they could be boiled. Things were never the same after that."

Amongst the confessions in the film there is an almost inconsequential long shot of a heavily pregnant mother wheeling a tot in a buggy. It's there to tell you that this, without precautions, is what the sweaty moments on shag-pile carpets result in. More tellingly, it looks as if the woman is no actress but has been filmed surreptitiously. Likewise, Pulp songs sometimes seem like small fragments of life glanced at from outside basement windows, lives constructed from strangers spotted in bus shelters.

It is easy to see why friends readily confess their amorous liaisons to Jarvis. He's easy to get on with, with a gentle Sheffield accent and unflappable nature. It is only when he forgets himself and starts mimicking the NME photographer's southern tones during the photo shoot that you see a different side of him. "Innit, innit," scoffs Cocker. "Taking the piss?" snaps Double half-jokingly. Cocker is visibly flustered. He is not, it seems, a man who enjoys confrontation - especially not violent ones. 'Joyriders' on the album is inspired by a gang of 14-year-olds his Hillman Imp broke down next to on a Sheffield estate. For a moment he thought they were going to attack him: that used to happen a lot when he was a kid because of his height and his glasses. Instead they made him sit in the Ford Sierra they'd stolen, listening to a rave radio station, while they hotwired his car for him.

So when was the last time you were hit? "It was about four days before last Christmas in London, about 3:30 in the morning. Me and Steve were walking back from a party and we saw these three kids on the other side of the road. One of them said, kind of cheerfully, 'Do you wanna fight?' It was said like, 'Have you got a light?', not aggressive, really casually. And while I was thinking about it he hit me in the face and my glasses went flying. Steve tried to pick my glasses up and he got kicked in the face." Did you hit him back? "No."

Have you ever started a fight? "Only once, at school. It was with one of my friends and we didn't really want it to happen but we kind of got stuck in this thing of saying 'I'm harder than you' and before we knew it everyone was crowding round us shouting 'fight, fight'. It became known as the longest fight in school history. I've never liked the idea of hitting someone in the face, it doesn't seem right, so I was trying really hard just to hit his sides and he couldn't reach my head anyway, so it just went on for hours."

Who or what do you despise? "Quality music - this spineless soul or castrated reggae that seems to mean quality, all this 'we're sophisticated us' when they're about as sophisticated as a plate of whelks. AOR music - Phil Collins, Eric Clapton. the main reason being - apart from the dire quality of the music - that by inference it implies that if you're an adult you're only interested in blandness. It's like once you get to a certain age you're not interested in anything exciting any more, you just want something that sounds OK on the M25."

Right now thousands will be having a Pulp record in their house for the first time. 'His 'n' Hers' is a perfect introduction: like a box of chocolates with equal portions of milk and dark, it is scattered with the teenage pop sensibilities of 'Babies' and 'Lipgloss', and with the crooning adult symphonies of 'Someone Like The Moon' and 'Pink Glove'. It is, indeed, utterly wonderful - Jarvis' voice reaching hitherto unheard ecstatic highs, from a Bryan Ferry, to an Ian Curtis, to a cheesy crooner, forever sounding like a man possessed by the music and only just managing to keep his composure.

Right now Pulp are possibly the most fashionable band in Britain, yet to many who have never been convinced by Cocker & co's shenanigans there lurks a deep suspicion that Pulp somehow aren't a proper band. They've been around too long (13 years), they're too old, they're a joke. They are all unpretentious, candid people who treat their fans as friends and maybe this is part of their problem - there's no mystery. Where most bands would spend their record company advance on fast cars and the latest Issey Miyake, Pulp take the train and shop at Cancer Research. Steve, currently homeless, prefers to sleep on Jarvis' floor rather than take up the offer of a free hotel bed.

Most of Pulp are all too aware that there are people who loathe their band for all the wrong reasons. They've read the ground-level presumptions: that Pulp are ironic, wacky and kitch, one too many times. They're hardly likely to carve '4 Real' into their forearms but, says Steve, "Just because we don't take ourselves too seriously doesn't mean we don't mean it." "We didn't set out to be different from other bands," adds Jarvis, "it just sort of evolved. That's what upsets me when people write those things - it implies it's all a clever joke. And the minute you mention the word ironic it implies you're not involved in things, and that's not true. I'd hate people to think I was observing things from a great height and saying 'this is what human beings are like, aren't they silly'. It is heartfelt."

The 'In Bed' pictures finished, Jo and Jarvis untangle themselves from the bedsheets and change out of their nightwear. They sit around for a while, flicking through the 1970s Men & Women magazines Jarvis bought from the charity shop across the road, and talk naturally turns to sex once more. "I read this problem in a tabloid paper recently," Brand tells us. "It was from this woman who enjoyed smearing fish paste on this bloke she was having an affair with. Then one day her husband came home from work early and the only way her lover could get out of the house was to jump through the window. And her question was: 'Can I get the council to repair the window?'"

It is that time once more. Time to ask Jarvis about his darkest sexual fantasy. Has he done it pressed up against a window, in a bin liner, with fish paste? With a nun? With two nuns? "I'm not going to tell you," he says, temptingly, mysteriously. "But it involves sherbet fountains."

[hallmark-movie-fanatics]

Hallmark’s October Movie Slate Includes New Hannah Swensen and Curious Caterer Mysteries (TVLine.com)

3 Bed, 2 Bath, 1 Ghost Premiere Date: Saturday, Oct. 7 at 8 pm A ghost from the 1920s refuses to leave the home just listed by Anna, a new real estate agent. Worse, the spirit is convinced she cannot “pass over” until she gets Anna back together with her ex; Julie Gonzalo (Supergirl), Chris McNally (When Calls the Heart) and Madeleine Arthur (To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before) star.

Field Day Premiere Date: Saturday, Oct. 14 at 8 pm Jen (Witches of East End‘s Rachel Boston), Marissa (Virgin River‘s Carmel Amit) and Kelly (Good Trouble‘s Shannon Chan-Kent) are moms from different backgrounds who are thrown together to plan the annual Field Day at their kids’ school. Along the way, they navigate a myriad of obstacles, including an unsupportive head of the PTO. New to town and still trying to move on following the loss of her husband, Jen is thankful to have the encouragement of Dan (Saving Hope‘s Benjamin Ayres), the school’s PE teacher who is becoming a good friend…or could this be the start of something more? As the planning continues, Jen, Marissa and Kelly bond as friends who will stop at nothing to make sure their kids are happy, with each of them finding their own path as their friendship grows stronger.

Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

A Zest for Death: A Hannah Swensen Mystery Premiere Date: Friday, Oct. 6 at 9 pm They say the real estate business is deadly, but no one is more surprised than Hannah Swensen (Days of Our Lives‘ Alison Sweeney) when her mother, Delores (Barbara Niven), discovers the dead body of the homeowner – and regular customer of The Cookie Jar – while house-hunting for her sister Michelle (The Flash‘s Tess Atkins). Hannah is determined to get to the bottom of the mystery and is convinced that the prime suspect Mike (All My Children‘s Cameron Mathison) and the Sheriff (Day of the Dead‘s Mike Dopud) are focusing on isn’t the culprit. Hannah’s sleuthing becomes a family affair when Delores, Michelle and even her sister Andrea (Heartland‘s Lisa Durupt) – who pays an unexpected visit – take part in the investigation. As Hannah uncovers clues she slowly rules out suspects and is led to the shocking truth about the killer’s identity.

Curious Caterer: Fatal Vows Premiere Date: Friday, Oct. 13 at 9 pm In the third installment of the franchise, professional caterer and amateur detective Goldy Berry (Awkward‘s Nikki DeLoach) is hired to cater for a big wedding. The bride, Jessamyn Cole (Superman & Lois‘ Amanda Khan), is the ex-wife of Goldy’s current romantic interest, detective Tom Schultz (the ubiquitous Andrew Walker). The town is shocked when they find the groom, Sterling Clearwater (The Flash‘s Kareem Malcolm) dead and Jessamyn missing. To complicate matters, a new detective (Dangerous‘ Brock Morgan) with a vendetta against Tom is hired to oversee the case. Forced to take matters into their own hands, Goldy and Tom must find Jessamyn before she meets Sterling’s fate.

To read the full article at TVLine.com click this LINK.

TVInsider has a write up also.

[peonyblossom]

For Sydney, Brooklyn and Kalani

What is your favorite childhood memory?

What is your least favorite childhood memory?

What do you think had the biggest impact on you growing up?

You’re given an unlimited budget to build anything you want!  What do you build and where do you build it?

What is your favorite childhood memory? Sydney: Syd's favorite childhood memory is probably going ice skating at the Rockefeller Center every winter :) Brooklyn: His mom teaching him about different kinds of flowers and plants when they gardened together :) Kalani: Searching for crawfish and other small water critters in the creek behind his house :)

What is your least favorite childhood memory? Sydney: 9/11 Brooklyn: (I have decided that Brooklyn is also an OC in the PLL universe lol so) When Alison DiLaurentis went missing Kalani: When his parents died

What do you think had the biggest impact on you growing up? Sydney: his family Brooklyn: his gender (specifically being/growing up trans) Kalani: mother nature

You’re given an unlimited budget to build anything you want!  What do you build and where do you build it? Sydney: he's not building shit, he's just giving all of America free healthcare. if he absolutely had to build something it would be a ton of hospitals all over the country that give out free healthcare. tldr: free healthcare Brooklyn: he's rebuilding his aunt's house :) Kalani: a tree house, but like one of those really fancy treehouses that people live in

[fearsmagazine]

MONKEY MAN (Red Band) | Trailer & Poster

Oscar® nominee Dev Patel (Lion, Slumdog Millionaire) achieves an astonishing, tour-de-force feature directing debut with an action thriller about one man’s quest for vengeance against the corrupt leaders who murdered his mother and continue to systemically victimize the poor and powerless.

Inspired by the legend of Hanuman, an icon embodying strength and courage, Monkey Man stars Patel as Kid, an anonymous young man who ekes out a meager living in an underground fight club where, night after night, wearing a gorilla mask, he is beaten bloody by more popular fighters for cash.

After years of suppressed rage, Kid discovers a way to infiltrate the enclave of the city’s sinister elite. As his childhood trauma boils over, his mysteriously scarred hands unleash an explosive campaign of retribution to settle the score with the men who took everything from him.

Packed with thrilling and spectacular fight and chase scenes, Monkey Man is directed by Dev Patel from his original story and his screenplay with Paul Angunawela and John Collee (Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World).

The film’s international cast includes Sharlto Copley (District 9), Sobhita Dhulipala (Made in Heaven), Pitobash (Million Dollar Arm), Vipin Sharma (Hotel Mumbai), Ashwini Kalsekar (Ek Tha Hero), Adithi Kalkunte (Hotel Mumbai), Sikandar Kher (Aarya) and Makarand Deshpande (RRR).

Monkey Man is produced by Dev Patel, Jomon Thomas (Hotel Mumbai, The Man Who Knew Infinity), Oscar® winner Jordan Peele (Nope, Get Out), Win Rosenfeld (Candyman, Hunters series), Ian Cooper (Nope, Us), Basil Iwanyk (John Wick franchise, Sicario films), Erica Lee (John Wick franchise, Silent Night), Christine Haebler (Shut In, Bones of Crows) and Anjay Nagpal (executive producer of Bombshell, Greyhound).

Serving as executive producers are Jonathan Fuhrman, Natalya Pavchinskya, Aaron L. Gilbert, Andria Spring, Alison-Jane Roney and Steven Thibault.

Universal Pictures presents a Bron Studios production, a Thunder Road film, a Monkeypaw production, a Minor Realm/S’Ya Concept production, in association with WME Independent and Creative Wealth Media.

From Universal Pictures, in theaters April 5th, 2024.

[noratilney]

Call the Midwife OC Masterlist (wip)

Julia Lennon

Full Name: Julia Frances Lennon

Nickname(s): Jule, Lennon

Face Claim: Lili Reinhart

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 3-?

Status: Midwife

Love Interest: Trixie Franklin

Connections: Jenny Lee (fellow midwife), Trixie Franklin (fellow midwife), Cynthia Miller (fellow midwife), Chummy Noakes (fellow midwife)

Biography Stub:

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Evelyn Allen

Full Name: Evelyn Marjorie Allen

Nickname(s): Eve

Face Claim: Shannon Purser

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 3-?

Status: Midwife

Love Interest: Cynthia Miller

Connections: Jenny Lee (fellow midwife), Trixie Franklin (fellow midwife), Cynthia Miller (fellow midwife), Chummy Noakes (fellow midwife)

Biography Stub:

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Ella Garland

Full Name: Helen Bertha Garland

Nickname(s): Ella

Face Claim: Madelaine Petsch

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 3-?

Status: Midwife

Love Interest: Sister Winifred

Connections: Jenny Lee (fellow midwife), Trixie Franklin (fellow midwife), Cynthia Miller (fellow midwife), Chummy Noakes (fellow midwife)

Biography Stub:

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Shanti Deshpande

Full Name: Shanti Deshpande

Nickname(s):

Face Claim: Suhana Khan

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 13-?

Status: Midwife

Love Interest: Alfred Huntingdon, Viscount Beaumont

Connections: Beryl Bowling (fellow midwife), Trixie Franklin (fellow midwife), Naomi Jacobs (fellow midwife), Pauline Taylor (fellow midwife)

Biography Stub:

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Pauline Taylor

Full Name: Pauline Christina Taylor

Face Claim: Erinn Westbrook

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 13-?

Status: Midwife

Love Interest:

Connections: Beryl Bowling (fellow midwife), Shanti Deshpande, Trixie Franklin (fellow midwife), Naomi Jacobs (fellow midwife)

Biography Stub:

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Beryl Bowling

Full Name: Beryl Mary Bowling (née Alexander)

Face Claim: Tessa Thompson

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 13-?

Status: Nurse, Midwife

Love Interest:

Connections: June Bowling (daughter), George Bowling (husband, deceased), Shanti Deshpande, Trixie Franklin (fellow midwife), Naomi Jacobs (fellow midwife), Pauline Taylor (fellow midwife)

Biography Stub:

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Naomi Jacobs

Full Name: Naomi Hannah Jacobs

Nickname(s): Nomi

Face Claim: Carey Mulligan

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 13-?

Status: Nurse, Midwife, Doctor-in-training

Love Interest: Timothy Turner

Connections: Beryl Bowling (fellow midwife), Shanti Deshpande, Trixie Franklin (fellow midwife), Pauline Taylor (fellow midwife)

Biography Stub:

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Vicky Shore

Full Name: Victoria Grace Shore

Nickname(s): Vicky

Face Claim: Tuppence Middleton

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 10-?

Status: Trainee midwife

Love Interest:

Connections: Georgette Baines (fellow trainee), Nancy Corrigan (fellow trainee), Janice Cowan (fellow trainee), Caroline Gilchrist (fellow trainee), Alison Hopkiss (fellow trainee)

Biography Stub:

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Marian Beecham

Full Name: Marian Jane Beecham (née Simmons)

Face Claim: Clare Calbraith

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 8/9-?

Love Interest: Valerie Dyer

Connections: Oliver Beecham (husband, deceased)

Biography Stub:

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Caroline Gilchrist

Full Name: Caroline Matilda Louise Gilchrist

Nickname(s): Caddie, Caddie-Lou

Face Claim: Cara Theobald

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 10-?

Status: Trainee midwife

Love Interest:

Connections: Sister Julienne (great-aunt), Georgette Baines (fellow trainee), Nancy Corrigan (fellow trainee), Janice Cowan (fellow trainee), Alison Hopkiss (fellow trainee), Vicky Shore (fellow trainee)

Biography Stub:

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June Bowling

Full Name: June Harriet Bowling

Nickname(s): Junie

Face Claim: Leah Jeffries

Fic Title: TBD

Series: 13-?

Love Interest: N/A

Connections: Beryl Bowling (mother), George Bowling (father, deceased)

Biography Stub:

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Alfred Huntingdon, Viscount Beaumont

Full Name: Alfred Edmund Geoffrey Huntingdon, Viscount Beaumont

Nickname(s): Alfie

Face Claim: Tom Blyth

Fic Title: TBD

Series:

Love Interest: Shanti Deshpande

Connections:

Biography Stub:

[fuckyeahalisonblaire]

your recommendations are amazing and i can't thank you enough for them! do you have any x-factor recs for ali, please? x

So, funny story! Dazzler was actually a choice to join X-Factor V1 before they went with Jean. However, that never transpired and she was in Uncanny X-Men instead. Due to that, her X-Factor issues are very few. She was in a couple issues that tied into Inferno, but that is about it for V1. She was in X-Factor Nation X oneshot by Peter David, but I don't reccommend it. There is also X-Facfor 259, which details how Alison is Shatterstar's mother in a very bizzare way.

However! In X-Factor 2020, she is in issue 9 and it was a fun read.

[ghostoftonantzin]

Books I have read this year, 2023, roughly in order

I enjoyed doing this last year, so I thought I would do another little write-up of the books I read this year and what I thought.

I've read 52 books this year, hitting a goal I hadn't thought to set. That includes a few graphic novels, but not the audiobooks, which I listened to 15 of this year (I spent a lot of time driving). Same as last year, I've annotated the audiobooks with an asterisk.

I also started listening to Backlisted this year, which significantly influenced my reading choices.

Under a cut, because it got long

Swedish Cults, Anders Fager (1/2) - I saw this was originally published in 2009, and I feel like the first story in this collection somehow really echoes that time. Which is probably a strange thing to say about a horror story.

When Washington was in Vogue, Edward Christopher Williams (1/13) - very sweet, very interesting look at a time and a place I didn't know much about.

The Cement Garden, Ian McEwan (1/19) - I expected to enjoy this a lot more than I did, based on how it's often described as a great "fucked up" book. I think the teenage boy POV just didn't do much for me.

Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons (1/20) - a reread, for the first time since probably 2014 or so. I enjoyed it (and understood it) a lot better this time around. I got to the back half and couldn't put it down, which is a strange thing to say about a parody of the rural novels of the 1930s.

Nona the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir (2/12) - finally got this from the library. I didn't enjoy it as much as the first two books in the series

Fun Home, Alison Bechdel (2/24) - a reread. The final page always destroys me.

Cassandra at the Wedding, Dorothy Baker (2/25) - Very literary. I think I enjoyed it, though I can't muster up the energy to form a stronger opinion. The scene where Cassandra pulls out the bridesmaid dress she bought was memorable, though.

Are You My Mother?, Alison Bechdel (2/28) - a reread. Scratches the same itch as Fun Home, but doesn't tie the family narrative into the theoretical themes as cohesively.

Surviving the Applewhites, Stephanie S. Tolan (3/12) - another reread, to see if it was as good as I remembered from fourth grade. It held up for the most part.

The Secret to Superhuman Strength, Alison Bechdel (3/13) - finally, not a reread. Fun, erudite, perhaps not as tight as Fun Home, but another excellent Bechdel.

Ravishment, Amanda Quick (3/24) - sometimes you have to read an entire romance novel in an evening. This was fun, though its plot and that of "Mistress" (see below) blur into one another.

Season of Migration to the North, Tayib Saleh (4/7) - I think I would have enjoyed this book more if I had read it in a class where I could discuss it and learn more about the historical context behind it.

The Bloater, Rosemary Tonks (4/9) - of Backlisted fame. I should reread again, more slowly, to get a better taste for Tonk's use of language.

Mistress, Amanda Quick (4/15) - also a fun quick read, though I can't remember much of the plot.

Excellent Women*, Barbara Pym (4/25) - yet another attempt to get into audiobooks, and it semi-worked this time. Mildred sets a high bar for other Pym protagonists to follow, and I thought Pym created an excellent portrait of post-war life for unmarried women and the minor indignities and intimacies that accompany it. Also ridiculously funny, at least to me.

Clouds of Witness*, Dorothy L. Sayers (5/12) - I wanted to read Gaudy Night, but I figured I should read at least a few Peter Wimsey mysteries that came before it. I think my favorite character was Lord Wimsey's mother.

Star, Yukio Mishima (5/16) - an interesting portrait of a disaffected youth and of fame in Japan at the time it was written.

Strong Poison*, Dorothy L. Sayers (5/16) - the first Wimsey mystery to feature Harriet Vane, and my first encounter with Lord Peter's office of overlooked older secretaries, who provides the enjoyable detour of Miss Murchison making an important breakthrough in the case. Not bad, though not super memorable.

Have His Carcase, Dorothy L. Sayers (5/17) - the only Wimsey mystery I read instead of listened to, because neither library app had the audiobook. This one was too reliant on keeping timetables straight for my taste, but I still read it in a day.

Beyond Black, Hilary Mantel (5/22) - possibly the best book I read this year. Bleak, bleak, bleak, and wonderful for it. Yet one of the most cathartic happy endings I've ever read.

Thus was Adonis Murdered, Sarah Caudwell (5/28) - caught my sense of humor by the second or third page. Hilariously dry mystery, and understandable even if you don't know legal jargon.

The Feast, Margaret Kennedy (5/31) - this book is not even remotely a thriller, is in fact sort of an elaborate morality play, and yet I couldn't put it down. The conceit- that a cliff collapses onto a hotel and everyone inside dies, but not all the hotel guests were inside- keeps you guessing at whose sins are bad enough to merit a karmic death.

Starlight, Stella Gibbons (6/4) - a lot grimmer than I expected, and almost ahead of its time in terms of the (I'm going to say) pointlessness of its ending, in a "people come into the main character's lives, stuff happens, but the main two old ladies aren't actually affected" way. Not a book you would expect to find demonic possession in, but it's there and it's played straight!

The Shortest Way to Hades, Sarah Caudwell (6/6) - I find it interesting that all of these mysteries center around details of things like inheritance law and yet all feature murder as the main crime, and also that (spoilers) the villain is disposed of in a manner that does not require the main cast to get involved with the police.

The Sirens Sang of Murder, Sarah Caudwell (6/9) - by the second volume in this series I kept trying to guess who the murderer, and I was never ever able to do it. Not that I've ever been good at that part of mystery novels, but I do appreciate Caudwell keeping me on my toes.

Gaudy Night*, Dorothy L. Sayers (6/11) - finally, the book I read three prior mysteries for. I found this one fascinatingly slow for a mystery and much more focused on the life of women in academia in that era than I had expected. I particularly enjoyed the character of Miss de Vine, who at first seems like the classic absent-minded professor, only to reveal herself to be much wiser in ways of the heart than she appears.

The Black Maybe, Attila Veres (6/19) - short horror story collection, translated from Hungarian. Not bad, but none of the stories were super memorable.

Lessons in Chemistry, Bonnie Garmus (6/22) - I did not enjoy this and probably would not have finished it if my mom hadn't highly recommended it. The characters felt flat and the plot struggled to build enough tension for the emotional beats to hit. I also feel like the four-year-old character did not act anything like a four-year-old, though I'll admit I don't know a lot of four-year-olds.

Hackenfeller’s Ape, Brigid Brophy (6/26) - I would say this book wasn't that exciting, very dry and academic for its bizarre plot, but one detail near the end (which I won't spoil) knocked me sideways and tbh probably made the book for me.

Less Than Angels*, Barbara Pym (6/27) - I had to go back and add this while writing these reviews because I'd completely forgotten to list it at the time. Not as good as Excellent Women, though I also had to adjust to the multiple perspectives as opposed to just one.

Comemadre, Roque Larraquy (7/2) - a reread. Still one of the strangest books I've ever read. Highly recommend.

The Sky is Blue, With a Single Cloud, Kuniko Tsurita (7/3) - I'd had this collection of manga one-shots for about a year, and decided to finally read it when hanging out at the library when the water was out at my apartment. It's very interesting to see her style develop and to learn more about the alternative manga industry.

Mrs. Caliban, Rachel Ingalls (7/4) - I had been vaguely meaning to read this for a while, then found it on Hoopla. Looking back on it, it rivals In a Lonely Place (the Dorothy Hughes one) with regards to drawing California in the mind's eye, though the mood of their particular Californias are very different.

Black Wings Has My Angel, Elliott Chaze (7/8) - the tension at the end of this book is like pulling teeth, it's incredible.

Scruples, Judith Krantz (7/24) - absolutely frothy and frequently ridiculous, but also fun. Their are main characters named Spider and Valentine, and it's taken completely seriously. It's actually a really interesting look at the values and beliefs of the 1980's as reflected through pop culture.

Days in the Caucasus, Banine (7/28) - I was more interested in the sequel to this memoir, Parisian Days, but figured I should read this volume, about the author's childhood in Azerbaijan in the years leading up to its incorporation into the Soviet Union. It provided a really interesting perspective of the Soviet Union from a resident of one of its subject states.

Frederica, Georgette Heyer (8/6) - my first Heyer. I'm impressed by her ability to write annoying younger siblings and walk the line between "overly cute" and "overly aggravating".

In the Miso Soup, Ryu Murakami (8/17) - good, though not my favorite of the year by far. The violence depicted did manage to turn my stomach a bit.

My Man Jeeves*, P.G. Wodehouse (8/20) - I've realized that I need to listen to audiobooks that are fun if I'm going to survive long drives, so I turned to the Jeeves series (I only listened to the Jeeves stories in this one). An interesting introduction to the character, especially since it starts in America instead of the England of the more well-known tales.

Love in the New Millennium, Can Xue (8/29) - I'm not sure if this book is meant to be very surreal, if I'm missing cultural context, or both, but I will say it does serve me well to be a little befuddled by books sometimes. This book has a strange, flowing sense of perspective, where it moves between perspectives and the stories of its characters, only slowly unveiling where it's emotional weight lies. Very interesting.

The Inimitable Jeeves*, P.G. Wodehouse (9/1) - second collection of Jeeves & Wooster stories. Good, though Bingo isn't my favorite side character.

Flesh, Brigid Brophy (9/1) - the beginning chapters are incredibly sensual in a way I can't describe, but after that it inspired an incredible feeling of dread that something would go terribly wrong. Despite the fact that this is a satire of young adults in 1960s London, I could feel emotional catastrophe creeping around every corner. I don't think this was Brophy's intention.

Ice*, Anna Kavan (9/8) - somehow not anything like I had osmosed it being. The narrative flows between reality and fantasy so fluidly that it's incredibly easy to wonder if you spaced out and missed something important while listening to it. The plot is also fascinatingly simple and surprisingly free of actual conflict: despite impediments, the hero ("hero") rarely actually encounters any opposition that seems like it could truly keep him from his goal. This adds to the feeling that everything occurring in the book is barely-veiled symbolism.

The Glass Pearls, Emeric Pressburger (9/13) - the tension in this might have honestly been too much for me. Good, but I don't know if I can read it again.

The English Understand Wool, Helen DeWitt (9/16) - sometimes you read a book and recognize that it's very good, while also being annoyed that what it is is different from what you want it to be. I understood it worked as a morality tale, but I found it limiting and frustrating. I will also indulge in a bit of cattiness here and say that for a book about luxury and high-quality goods, the book design chosen by New Directions for this series feels like a cheap set of children's books. (I read this on an online checkout from the library, so I only saw the book itself in a bookstore.)

Right Ho, Jeeves*, P.G. Wodehouse (9/18) - The fact that Jeeves and Bertie were on the outs for this one did stress me out, I will admit.

In a Lonely Place, Karl Edward Wagner (9/22) - the stories pick up in quality in the back half, in my opinion, though none of them are true duds. The last story and standout in the collection, yet another twist on a vampire tale, really draws its strength from the grimy-yet-glamorous depiction of an art student's life in London.

Kissing the Witch, Emma Donoghue (9/27) - I enjoyed how each story folded into one another and found this book hard to put down. Also very gay, loved it.

The Drama of Celebrity, Sharon Marcus (9/27) - I was reading this for background for my fic, and it was somewhat helpful. It's really mostly an analysis of Sarah Bernhardt's career, with some light theory of celebrity to contextualize it instead of the other way around like I expected.

Malpertuis, Jean Ray (10/15) - I probably shouldn't have read the summary for this book before the book itself, but I'm not sure I would have fully understood the plot if I hadn't. Not a knock on the book itself.

The Great God Pan and Other Stories*, Arthur Machen (10/16) - I don't read a ton of nineteenth-century literature, so I was surprised by how compelling the title story was, especially when listened to. I also found some of the imagery in "The Novel of the White Powder" horrifying and would not be out of place in a modern horror story. The final story was a bit of a slog, though.

Heartburn*, Nora Ephron (10/20) - a relisten to the version narrated by Meryl Streep. I downloaded it based on a recommendation describing the audiobook as turning it into the one-woman monologue the book was meant to be, and I can't think of any higher recommendation to offer than that.

Casting the Runes and Other Stories*, M.R. James and others (10/30) - I knew about M.R. James from popular culture, but I honestly had not expected "Whistle and I'll Come to You, My Lad" to center so much around golf.

Invitation the the Waltz, Rosamond Lehmann (11/1) - I read most of this in one sitting, playing old music through my headphones, which felt really ideal. Setting most of it during one formal dance allows for a sense of insular-ness while allowing the details of the world to be woven in. If that makes any sense.

Crazy Salad and Scribble Scrabble*, Nora Ephron (11/3) - it's really interesting to listen to these essays written during the second wave feminist movement and realize that we've been having the same arguments for 50 years. It's also interesting to read about the minutiae of Watergate from the perspective of those watching it unfold in real time. So many weird, unmemorable cultural-political things that have gone down the hole of public memory! (I need to note here that the last essay in Crazy Salad is, based on my memory of the first time I read it (I skipped it this time around) very transphobic, so I can only recommend this collection with that heavy caveat.)

BBC Radiophonic Workshop: A Retrospective, William L. Weir (11/7) - I first learned about the BBC radiophonic workshop through the Backlisted episode about Rosemary Tonks, and this was a fascinating look into that period of British history and the origins of electronic music. It's also helped me pinpoint how to find that sort of music I think of as "alien abduction music", which is a bonus.

Joy in the Morning*, P.G. Wodehouse (11/10) - I didn't realize this wasn't in the 3-book arc that starts with Right Ho, Jeeves until I was partway through. Still, quality Wodehouse.

Good Morning, Midnight, Jean Rhys (11/17) - despite listening to the Backlisted episode before reading this, I didn't quite grasp what "modernist novel" meant, which meant I was surprised by the stream-of-consciousness flow of this novel. It's such gorgeous writing, though. Depressing as hell.

Winter Love*, Han Suyin (11/18) - beautiful and sad. The main character, Red, is frustrating, even though everything she does is perfectly understandable within the context she lives in.

The Girls, John Bowen (11/21) - the blurbs for this book ("Barbara Pym meets Stephen King") made it seem like this would be both lighter and more horrifying than it actually was. I found it to actually be very melancholy in parts, and surprisingly focused on the emotional aftereffects of murder. The ending, the final paragraph, is gorgeous.

Black Orchids, Rex Stout (11/30) - I'm now trying to find Nero Wolfe books in secondhand bookstores, though I'm limited by the lack of secondhand bookstores in my area (that may be a good thing). I enjoy how Nero Wolfe and Archie play off each other.

The Hearing Trumpet*, Leonara Carrington (12/1) - so, so good, and I'm glad I listened to it as an audiobook, because the narrator, Sian Phillips, is an elderly woman herself and therefore able to conjure up a whole range of different voices for the old women who populate this book.

Mistletoe Malice, Kathleen Farrell (12/6) - I was actually disappointed by this, which might have been a matter of mismatched expectations. However, the Christmas tree never caught fire, and I swore a review I read said it would, so I spent the whole book waiting in vain.

Venetia, Georgette Heyer (12/16) - A delight. Aubrey is a great character, and I enjoy how Heyer has the different characters play on each other.

Great Granny Webster, Caroline Blackwood (12/18) - did not expect this book to have a large section on "decaying old Anglo-Irish homes and their horrors", but I guess that's a richer vein in literary fiction than I realized (see: Good Behaviour by Molly Keane).

Sylvester, Georgette Heyer (12/21) - not quite as enjoyable as Frederica or Venetia, in my opinion, though that may be partly because I waited for almost 2/3 of the book for Phoebe's book to actually be published.

Providence, Anita Brookner (12/28) - beautiful prose, of the sort that makes me realize my own inadequacies in both my writing and my critical capabilities, because I can neither replicate it or describe what makes it so compelling. This book is also so tightly crafted for a story where almost nothing happens. It ends up exactly where it's been leading all along.

[thecrimecrypt]

Crimes That Shook Britain (North East)

John Darwin In March 2002, John Darwin, 51, paddled out to sea in his canoe near his Hartlepool home. He never returned Coastguard rescue teams and police searched for him, but all they found was Darwin's paddle.

Several weeks later, the wreckage of his canoe washed up on a beach. With no body found by April 2003, John Darwin was declared dead. His widow Anne and their two sons grieved. Until December 2007 - when Darwin walked into a police station, claiming to have amnesia.

John Darwin was reunited with his sons and Anne, who'd moved to Panama, was delighted. Only, a pjoto emerged of Anne and John in Panama, together in 2006. The couple had actually faked John's death to claim his £250,000 life insurance.

Both Darwins were jailed for over six years - him for obtaining cash by deception, her for deception and money laundering.

Michael Atherton New Year's Day 2012 - taxi driver Michael Atherton, 42, shot dead his partner Susan McGoldrick, 47, her sister Alison Turnbull, 44, and niece Tanya Turnbull, 24, at his home in Peterlee. He then turned the gun on himself.

His stepdaughter survived after fleeing via a window. It emerged Atherton had a history of domestic violence. He blamed Alison for his arrest in 2008, after a row. When he discovered Susan had gone out with her sister that night, he said there'd be trouble if he saw Alison at his home. He said he'd stay in a hotel.

Yet the women arrived home before he'd left. A row erupted and Atherton got his gun from the car.

Mary Bell On 25 May 1968, the day before her 11th birthday, Mary Bell strangled Martin Brown, 4. His body was found in a derelict house in Newcastle.

Two months later, Mary enlisted a 13-year-old friend to help strangle Brian Howe, 3. His mutilated body was found on waste ground. When detectives questioned local children, Mary and her friend acted strangely, their stories changing. Officers soon realised Mary was a killer.

The friend was acquitted and gave evidence against Mary. The court heard Mary committed the crimes 'for the pleasure and excitement of killing'. Mary Bell was convicted of manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility. She was sentenced to life in detention, released aged 23, and given a new identity.

Raoul Moat Two days after being released from prison on 3 July 2010, Raoul Moat, 37, from Newcastle, went on the rampage with a sawn-off shotgun.

First he shot his ex Samantha Stobbart and her new partner Chris Brown. While on the run in Rothbury, Moat shot police officer David Rathboand in the face. Brown was killed, Stobbart injured and PC Rathboand blinded.

Police deployed armed officers in one of Britain's biggest manhunts. In a letter left with a friend, Moat declared war on officers, saying that he wouldn't stop 'until I am dead'. On 9 July, police tracked Moat to the river Coquet, leading to a stand-off. Police negotiated, but Moat shot himself the next morning.

Sadly, David Rathboand later took his own life.

Billy Dunlop - Double Jeopardy Pizza delivery girl Julie Hogg, 22, disappeared in November 1989. Eighty days later, her mother Ann found her decomposing, partially mutilated body behind a bath panel in Ann's Billingham home.

Julie's ex Billy Dunlop was charged with murder, yet juries at two trials failed to reach a verdict. He was cleared. The double jeopardy law (which meant Dunlop could not be tried again) meant he thought he'd got away with murder for 17 years.

Ann fought for double jeopardy laws to be scrapped and, in 2003. MPs backed changes allowing serious cases with compelling new evidence to be reopened. Dunlop pleaded guilty to murder in 2006, was jailed for life.

Gary Vinter = Freed to Kill Again Gary Vinter killed colleague Carl Edon, 22, in a railway workers' cabin in 1995. Vinter stabbed him 37 times, puncturing every organ. He was jailed for life, but released in 2006, after serving 10 years.

In July 2006, he married Anne White. But Vinter was recalled to prison after a New Year pub brawl. Released again in early 2008, he separated from Anne after attacking her at their home in Eston, Middlesbrough. That February, Vinter bundled his estranged wife into a car.

After holding her hostage at his mother's house, he stabbed Anne to death. He was jailed for life. In 2011, Vinter attacked Roy Whiting - killer of schoolgirl Sarah Payne - in jail.

In 2016, he received a third life sentence for trying to murder fellow 'life' Lee Newell behind bars.