user serenasoutherlyns' fanfic recommendations!
I updated my fic recs for the first time in at LEAST a year, so here's my most recent fic recs!
unsentimental<- I don’t even go here but this is the best fanfiction i’ve ever read
claire/jack
I hope we’re not going to have a problem
claire/margot
all I need is a taste
abbie/toni
ficlets by eastberlin
abbie/alex
balancing act
olivia/alex
shorts by VerySpecificRandomThings
olivia/casey
some of murphy’s not so obscure laws
miracle on 89th st
alex/casey
somewhere i can rest my soul
the trouble won’t wait
kryptonite
sigourney weaver
serena/casey
firsts
this is all olivia benson’s fault
tracey/kelly
modern times
lana/kalinda
big time
alicia/kalinda
you have not yet learned to crawl
alicia/cary
outside the frame (is what we’re leaving out)
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okay so i'm already past the juiciest kalicia parts of tgw and aside from my being really sad that the potential for their reconciliation (which it seems they wanted to arc out!) went thumbs down emoji, I'm so inevitably ahhhhhhhh about the roots and manifestation of kalicia at all! bc so much of both is down to kalinda's character - her mystery, her careful reservation and restraint in both her words and her bearing, her halting, repeated protests that she doesn't really have friends... with the implication, in saying this to alicia in various contexts, that alicia is an exception, and a big one at that.
how unfathomably huge an exception isn't more than hinted at in the subtext (which is there, sure! BUT) until that jawdropper of the way blake lays out what he's put together: how off the wall defensive and terrified kalinda becomes every time alicia or kalinda's friendship with her is threatened, and how that tell has led him to kalinda's buried past and how it was buried. and let me tell you i screamed when in the next episode's recap, which picked up at the precise moment of that very revelation, the line changed slightly - but dramatically!! - to be even more emphatic: "alicia. it's about alicia. that's what you care about more than anything."
uhhhhh??????
I don't know I don't know I don't know!!! but it was sure something to watch her spiral out of control while trying so, so desperately to keep a lid on it over the next few eps in a way that to this point, and without this layer exposed, might have actually seemed antithetical to her character... but it's not. why? bc it's alicia. it's what kalinda cares about. more than anything.
idk I'm just so feral about kalinda in this stretch of time, telling on herself in so many ways, none of which she would previously have allowed herself. shaken after the confrontation with blake, her first call is to alicia - just to hear her voice. she goes and talks to peter florrick, who correctly surmises that alicia learning the truth would destroy her - but only from the perspective of his own marriage to her. but you can see so clearly on kalinda's face and the things she's almost audibly restraining herself from saying - she knows it's going to be less about peter, and more about kalinda. and she's right. she hooks up with amanda rollins sophia russo, who if I'm not mistaken is kalinda's first onscreen woman lover, in what is 100% a reaction to the fallout with alicia, and - by kalinda's standards - loses her shit when she finds out that sophia's gotten married since she last saw her, that kalinda is, once again, albeit in a very different way, the person with whom a spouse is cheating.
but that's also the thing that I'm ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh about - bc kalinda has made exceptions for alicia. in friendship, of course - but holy shit, it's beyond obvious that kalinda loves her. and kalinda is very determinedly someone who does not do relationships, who doesn't want to let someone, anyone, close bc she's terrified of both being hurt and hurting them. so sex is practical. sex is fun. sex is no strings. anything else doesn't make sense to her. she and will have that conversation about how they're not normal, and will talks about being in the middle of an emotion and realizing he's not feeling anything, he's just acting. and as with so many other kalinda scenes, she says very little, but her scene partner manages to say so much about her, if only via holding up a (funhouse) mirror to her in their words, one that she acknowledges.
and so in light of all this, the idea of a kalinda/alicia relationship? in just what ways would alicia continue to be kalinda's exception? the thing that kalinda cares about - more than anything?
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red belt (around my mind)
Kalicia smut! Warning for rough sex and impact play! Everything is consensual! 500 words! Ao3! This is super out of my comfort zone so I hope it's not too bad!
"Alicia!" Kalinda practically yelled. "Fucking focus." Kalinda thrust into her with just the right amount of force. Alicia cried out.
"What are you thinking about, huh? Who?" Alicia failed to reply. Kalinda knocked her hands out from under her with little more than a flick of her wrist. She laughed when Alicia gasped. She didn't relent, her hard bed squeaking under them.
"Tell me, Alicia," Kalinda said. She reached around and wrapped her arm around her front, lifting her. Alicia let out an involuntary Ah sound. Kalinda had to reach her chin up to say into Alicia's ear, "What, are you thinking about Will?" She dug her fingernails into Alicia's hip. "Or Peter?"
"No," Alicia got out. Kalinda felt hot anger rise in her throat. She thrust even deeper than before. She relished Alicia's near-scream.
"I know Will doesn't fuck you like this," Kalinda purred. She dropped Alicia back onto the bed.
"Will doesn't fuck me at all anymore," came Alicia's muffled voice. Kalinda was reaching incensed.
"Did he do this for you?" Kalinda asked, threading a hand into Alicia's hair and pulling gently at the roots.
"No," Alicia whined.
"Or this?" Kalinda scratched Alicia from her neck to her hip.
"No," Alicia said again.
"I thought so," Kalinda said. Alicia grew louder.
"So, close," Alicia breathed. "Oh my God."
"Don't you dare,"
"No, please," Alicia whined. Kalinda heard a sob. Kalinda pulled out completely, eliciting a pained noise.
"You'll live," said Kalinda. She turned Alicia over and admired her tear-stained face. She smirked. Alicia laughed back at her.
"You're gonna regret that," Kalinda said, a threat Alicia should know wasn't empty. Kalinda hit her cheek. Her pale skin began to glow red. Alicia liked it like this, she knew. Her memory replayed that night.
Kalinda, um, I've always wanted to try... Would you?
Would I what?
Rough, um, like, would you,
What, you want me to hit you?
Yeah, um. For example.
Happily.
Alicia tried to cross her legs.
"Absolutely not," Kalinda said, pushing them back open. She hesitated no longer. Alicia did scream this time, as Kalinda thrust into her all at once.
"God, Please, Kalinda."
"No," Kalinda said. When Alicia began to cry again, she continued, "Tell me,that I'm better than him." She grabbed Alicia's cheeks. Her eyes rolled back and fluttered.
Alicia tried to throw her head back. She choked on air.
"Tell me, Alicia." Kalinda let go of her.
"I," Alicia said, "Please,"
"No!" Kalinda yelled, then whispered, "no." Alicia looked her in the eye. She seemed to finally get it.
"You're the best I've had, Kalinda," she said, steadier than anything.
"Damn right I am," Kalinda said. She pressed her thumb to Alicia's clit and held her hips down as she writhed and sobbed.
When she caught her breath, when Kalinda covered her in a blanket, when she'd had a drink of water, Alicia finally spoke.
"You really are," she said to Kalinda.
"I know I am," said Kalinda and kissed her, gently.
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