#alexis shouts

[tothehilltops]

i am deeply unwell about all of us strangers. send post. paul mescal stop choosing soul crushing jobs challenge.

[opalescentidiot]

[caribeandthebooks]

Caribe's New Works by Black Authors TBR - Part 2

Category: Mystery & Horror

[teacup-of-candlelight]

Now this is just a random feeling I have about Stargate SG-1 that I was just reminded of while doing some rewatching, but--

They really sleep on/underutilize Skaara and Daniel's relationship. Like the fact that they're brothers in law and lived in the same small village for over a year. They were FAMILY. Daniel taught Skaara English!

Like I get that Jack has a special connection with the kid from their time together in the movie. Yeah, he gave him a lighter, which was pretty cool. BUT DANIEL MARRIED HIS SISTER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! They were practically brothers. By everything else they've shown us of Abydos and Abydonian culture, their families should be very tight knit. I mean gosh their civilization was small enough as it was. But then you have things like Daniel referring to Kasuf as his father and Kasuf calling him his son (and I'm pretty sure that one continued even after Sha're's death).

I'm just saying. We should have seen more of those two interacting in a way appropriate to their time spent together at least if not their familial bond. I feel low key robbed. It could have been so gooood.

[bauresurrected]

unless i'm writing with a person i'm not shipping with - because I'd never force a ship - honestly half the time there is an underelement of Emily having been in love with her coworker JJ for the past 10 or so years. but she's professional about it like sometimes your coworker gets married to her husband and you quit and flee the country on the same day

emily vc: it is what it is

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: June 10

“Cowboy in the Jungle” by Jimmy Buffett

[jakeabel]

this cd with unreleased fob songs is the hardest thing ever created

[dollypartonswig]

The top 3 books I read in October

1. - Madhouse At The End Of The Earth - Julian Sancton ~ a non fiction book about the ill fated Belgian Antarctic expedition of 1897 - 1899 and the crews subsequent years after

2. - Morbidly Yours - Ivy Fairbanks ~ a recently widowed American woman moves to Ireland and finds out she’s moved in next door to a mortuary. romance and hijinks ensue

3. - My Roommate Is A Vampire - Jenna Levine ~ Cassie moves in with Frederick, a strange man who sleeps all day, is gone all night and talks like he’s straight out of a regency era romance novel, then she finds a bag of blood in his fridge

[corvidaedream]

its 1am and for no reason I can fathom i can't sleep bc my brain won't stop repeating the song "golden boy" over and over

[tothehilltops]

WHY has nobody made a ‘Fourth of July’ by Sufjan Stevens edit to Fellow Travelers yet!?

“Well you do enough talk my little HAWK, why do you cry?”

“We’re all gonna die.”

“And I’m sorry I left, but it was for the best though it never felt right.”

[libraryleopard]

Adult gothic horror 

Secondary world fantasy (not set in our world)

Marion, a poor girl from the slums, answers a newspaper ad to become a bloodmaid for a noblewoman who feeds on blood and finds herself caught up in a world of debauchery and decadence that hides dark secrets

Marion also finds herself entering into an obsessive, seductive relationship with the countess she serves

Amazing sinister, gothic atmosphere & an immersive yet claustrophobic setting

Vampire-esque countess loosely inspired by Elizabeth Bathory

Black lesbian protagonist

[sayruq]

Only a few minutes into Biden’s speech, several protesters interrupted, calling for a cease-fire in Israel’s U.S.-backed military operation in Gaza, which has killed more than 28,000 Palestinians and set off a maternal and reproductive health crisis. The president was interrupted over a dozen times as security struggled to wrangle protesters who were screaming “Genocide Joe!” and demanding a cease-fire. Hundreds of Biden supporters tried to drown out the protesters by clapping and chanting, “Four more years!” “Israel kills two mothers every hour in Gaza! Cease-fire now! End the genocide!” one protester yelled at Biden, who was standing on stage in front of a massive “Restore Roe” banner and flanked by supporters holding “Defend choice” signs. A video of the event shows Alexis McGill Johnson, the president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, clad in her trademark hot-pink pantsuit, standing up and chanting “Four more years!” as security dragged the shouting protester out. It was a real-time illustration of the growing rift in the reproductive rights movement during an election year that will determine the future of reproductive health in the U.S.

Basic prenatal care, such as treating anemia, is nonexistent, causing more women to die during childbirth and more babies born prematurely, many of whom die without access to hospital incubators. Food shortages are leaving pregnant women, new mothers and newborns malnourished. And a lack of menstrual hygiene products has caused an increase in infections in women and girls. “No one is making the connection that there’s a huge repro genocide happening in Gaza that we are funding, and the big repro organizations that are endorsing him are pretending like it’s not happening,” one leader who has met with the Biden administration on abortion issues told HuffPost. Most of the workers who spoke with HuffPost asked to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation from their employers or others in the reproductive rights field.

[kvrokasaa]

The morning after

includes: Nagi, Kaiser, Alexis, Oliver

Requests are open :)

gn!reader. no pronouns mentioned.

cw: Suggestive, mention of sex, pet names, forced plot.

Seishiro Nagi

The warmth of the sunlight beaming through the curtains is what stirred you awake. A quiet groan climbed its way up your throat as you turned to hide your face in the comfort of your pillows.

You stretched your hand out to grab the spare blanket but it landed on something else. You felt hair? Your eyes shot open. A person is lying next to you.

You rubbed your eyes and blinked through the blur from the action. As you woke up a little more, you realized that it was Nagi.

He hummed and stretched his arm out, snaking it around your waist and pulling you back down to the bed. "'m tired." You wanted to laugh at how he doesn't seem to care about the situation you both are in, but you just kept quiet.

You pulled up the blanket. A blush climbed its way onto your cheeks as you let the blanket fall back over your bodies.

You're both naked. How did this happen?

You shook Nagi, trying to wake him up. "Sei. What the hell is going on?" He only groaned and shifted, making his way on top of you. His head on your chest and his arms around your waist.

"What does it look like?" The only answer you get from him is a sarcastic one. His voice is deep and raspy with a tone of humor. "Just go back to sleep."

Micheal Kaiser

You groan when you hear the sound of running water from your bathroom. You're about to rush out of bed and see what the hell is going on. But before you can, you feel the sheets rub against your naked nipple.

You gasp as you pull the blanket up, you're completely naked. How? You don't tend to sleep naked, so how did you manage to get your clothes off?

You get up, grab the sheet wrapping it around your body, and make your way to the bathroom. The water isn't on anymore, it turned off a few minutes ago. As you open the door, you see a person in your bathroom.

You're tempted to scream, to slam the door and rush to the front and call the cops. But after opening the door even more, you see the blond hair (can't forget the blue ends). You almost sigh in relief.

You clear your throat and Kaiser turns around, smiling at you. "Good morning, I'm sure you missed me." His smile grows bigger as he walks to you, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

You can feel your life drain just by being next to him, did you really have to sleep with the most self-centered guy out there? What is wrong with drunk you?

"Knock it off, Kaiser," you roll your eyes at his words. "What are you doing here." Aren't one-night stands supposed to leave after the sex? Do they usually take residence in your bathroom? You almost want to say this out loud, but you know that he'll throw a little fit.

"Mm, just getting ready for my game, Meine Süße." He turns back around and faces the mirror. His hand reaches out for the hairbrush and you almost want to knock it out of his hand.

"Every goal will be for you," he starts while he runs the brush through his hair. "So you better be there, cheering the loudest for me, Meine Süße." You almost want to roll your eyes, but you're sure you've rolled them more than you can count this morning.

"Just get dressed and get out of my house." Hopefully, Kaiser can't see the red on your ears when you make your way back to your bedroom.

Alexis Ness

If only you could kill your alarm, but that would be killing your phone and you do not have enough money to buy a new one. You blindly feel your way to your phone. Once you do, you squint and press the snooze. You'll wake up later.

"Better wake up now, don't want to sleep too late." A cheerful voice almost shouted, his voice bouncing off your walls.

Your eyes shot open as you quickly sat up. Your blanket falls down from the action which reveals your naked chest. If your eyes widened anymore, you'd be gawking at the man standing in front of your bed.

You hurriedly grab your blanket and wrap it around your naked torso. Alexis smiles and pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear. He leans down and kisses your neck, making his way up to your ear.

He nibbles on your earlobe, licking a tiny bit. "Gonna give me another show?" He teases as he whispers in your ear.

Alexis pulls back and hums at your reddened face. He turns around and faces your body-length mirror.

Now you actually have a reason to gawk. His back is covered in red scratches, from his neck to his torso. You almost gasped, did you do that?

He sees your widened eyes staring at his back, his smile growing bigger. "Like it~? It might be your best artwork."

You never thought Alexis would be one to tease. But here you are, getting teased by the one man that keeps your sanity in check.

You almost want to laugh at the drastic change in him. Compared to how he acts on the field and now, in your bedroom.

"I'm going to get us some breakfast," he turns back to you and kisses your forehead. "I'll see you in a minute, baby."

The name makes you blush. Your eyes follow him out as he leaves your bedroom. Your sigh finally leaves your mouth, this man will be the death of you.

Oliver Aiku

Your yawn was quiet as you stretched your arms. Your hand flopped onto the bed as you turned your body to nuzzle deeper into your pillows.

"Ow! What the fuck, Y/n?"

You opened your eyes and saw Oliver resting on the other side of your bed. His hand is covering his nose from where your hand lightly slapped him.

"Mmh, good morning, Oliver." This isn't new. He usually sleeps over after 'fucking your brains out,' his words. After another failed talking stage or relationship, Oliver comes over and is reminded that there's someone who will actually give him the time or day.

He softly glares at you. You want to scoff at the glare, he should be grateful that you keep opening your door for him. Your hand comes up and taps his nose.

"Boop." He scrunches his face as he gently slaps your hand away. "Enough," he takes a deep breath. His body shifts and his legs tangle into yours. He climbs on top of you, his smirk spreading onto his face.

You roll your eyes, leaning your head back as Oliver reaches forward to kiss you. "Morning breath," you sigh. "Brush your teeth."

He only scoffs. Oliver pulls away and grabs your hand, leading you both to the bathroom. "I might be catching feelings for you, doll."

He laughs when he sees you roll your eyes. "Keep it at might."

You hope he can't hear the way your heart beats faster at the thought.

a/n: I love Alexis <3 I was giggling and kicking my feet when I saw him in the manga again

[pikachugirltits]

Talking with my roommate and I'm starting to realize how much at least some of this restless energy coursing through me is just a strong desire for human interaction and talking to people.

I've largely kept to myself on this site out of...shyness? I suppose. Fear of coming across as annoying?

And I soooooooo desperately want to, like...change that. Make some human connections again.

[loveisanimaginarydagger3000]

Good Luck, Babe! (2)- Try To Stop The Feeling

Wanda Maximoff X Reader 18+

Inspired by the song 'Good Luck, Babe!' by Chappell Roan

Summary: Returning to Westview after twelve years away causes you to look back on your secret love affair with Wanda, to remember the intimate moments you shared together before her refusal to accept her true self drove the two of you apart, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your broken heart alone.

What happens when you reunite with the woman you've been trying so hard to forget, forced to watch her suffer in an unhappy marriage that was slowly drowning her, still too scared to confront her true feelings?

Chapter 2- 4.6k- Mature Rating

Good Luck, Babe! Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

A/N- This chapter includes mature themes such as Drinking, Descriptions internalised homophobia and Allusions to compulsory heterosexuality.

---

Laughter filled the room as you chuckled around your cigarette, your head tilting to the side to blow the smoke towards the ceiling of Natasha's room, the redhead on the bed next to you copying your actions as she amused you. You looked at your best friend, admiring the playful and casual smirk planted on her lips as you chilled with her, watching happily as she moved her hand to the gentle beat of the music that was playing from her speaker in the corner, partly buried by clothes her sister had stolen before being forced to return them by Melina. The music that accompanied your laughter and rather loud chatter was something her father, Alexi, was not too pleased about as you heard him mutter something disapproving in Russian as he passed her bedroom door, the redhead mimicking her fathers actions only entertaining you further.

"May would smack the back of my head if she ever caught me doing that," you mutter, shaking your head playfully at Natasha mocking her father, the redhead rolling her eyes as she knew that your Aunt May would never do such a thing to you, she loved you too much. That woman was the sweetest woman she'd ever met, her warm, kind and friendly persona something you loved about your aunt, something you appreciated throughout your whole childhood.

"That woman wouldn't even hurt a fly," the Russian teases, crushing the end of her cigarette in the discarded ash tray on her bedside table before leaning over to where you were laying on her bed, stealing the end of yours as she knew how much it annoyed you, a defeated sigh leaving you as you knew there was no point in fighting her, the woman next to you always able to get what she wants.

Before you could make a snarky remark back at her, complaining how everyone seems to steal your cigarettes, the sound of a grunt and a small thud caught your attention as you both lifted your heads off the mattress to look at the window, the sight of Bucky's hair making you let out a small laugh as he climbed through her window.

"You do know doors exist, right?" you tease, deciding to use your sarcastic comment on the redhead's boyfriend as he pushes his long hair out of his eyes, revealing his icy blue eyes which were filled with just as much mirth as yours.

"As if Alexi would ever let me come in through the front door," he mutters, taking his jacket off before sitting in the chair next to the bed, his smile widening at the sight of the adoring look Natasha offered him before her attention was drawn to outside her door.

"Лучше бы там не было мальчика, Natalia! (There better not be a boy in there, Natalia)" Shouted her father over the music, the sound of a deeper voice catching the older man's attention as he walked passed once more, his fist pounding on the door.

In the room, Bucky's eyes widened, his usually casual blue morphing into worry at Alexi's words, the boy wanting to make a good first impression to his girlfriend's father, prompting him to swiftly drop to the floor by the bed, hiding as all three of you heard her door handle turn. Her father's inspecting gaze soon peeked around the door as Natasha groaned at her father's protectiveness, your smile growing at the whole interaction as you could see the end of Bucky's boot peaking just beyond the end of her bed, your teeth biting down on your lower lip to contain your laughter.

"Papa," she groaned, hiding her face with her hands as her father put his hands up in surrender, not wanting to further annoy his daughter as she could be quite scary when pissed off at him. "It's just Y/n," at her words, you wave at the man with an amused and cocky expression, his face still sceptical though.

"Нет мальчиков (No boys)" Is all he mutters before shutting the door, a sigh of relief leaving the couple whilst you can't help but let out your laughter, Natasha smacking you at how much their nervousness entertained you, your hands coming up in surrender just like her father's did, your turn to playfully mock the man.

"This is why I can't wait to go to Uni," she mutters, annoyed hints in her tone, Bucky climbing back to his feet and flopping back into the chair, his feet going on the edge of the bed after he reaches over to steal Natasha's drink, winking teasingly at her before taking a considerable sip of it.

"Have Shield gotten back yet?" You ask, tilting your head to look at her as you remember that you were supposed to ask her about the university she applied to earlier on, your memory too busy thinking of a certain brunette most of the time to function adequately. At the smile that breaks on her face, the redhead attempting to play coy but unable to as happiness carves its way onto her face tells you the answer, a proud expression taking over your face as you grin at her. "Congrats, Nat," your tone is genuine and sincere as she offers you another thrilled smile, "I'm so proud of you." You look at the woman you'd been friends with for your entire life, warmth enveloping your chest as pride filled you, seeing her accomplish her dream making your day.

"Thank you," she whispers, bumping her shoulder against yours before continuing, "Have you heard anything back yet?" She asks, knowing you were hesitant about University, not wanting to leave May all alone and abandon your home as your options for your future were limited.

"The only place that's willing to give me a scholarship is MI: 13," you say, voice growing more unsure as you tell them, Bucky's brows furrowing as he places where he had heard the name, concern growing on his face as he knew you didn't want to travel far.

"But that's in England," His tone conveying his confusion as you shrug your shoulders, not wanting to talk about the possibility of having to leave your home, the university the only one willing to take you.

"Yeah," you whisper, clearly growing uncomfortable with the mere thought of it, causing you to sit upright and check the time, wanting to switch the topic to something else. "Anyway, enough about me," you joke, Natasha knowing you were just pushing the feelings down, face growing sympathetic as you continue, going along with what you were saying to make you comfortable, "Don't we have a party to sneak off too?"

The two of them chuckle at your antics as you jump off the bed, grabbing your own jacket before finishing off your drink, motioning for the other two to start moving, wanting to just have fun for the rest of the night at Tony's party, to think about nothing other than being free for the moment.

***

Chanting echoed around inside your head and the room, the music blaring out of the speakers deafened by the collective cheer as you downed the last of the vile drink someone created for you, your face screwing up into a grimace at the way the alcohol burned the back of your throat. You felt a few pats on the back of your shoulder as you offered Bucky a dazed smile, the earlier drinks from the night seeming to have reached your head as you held onto his shoulder, chuckling at your drunkenness. His face only showed he was just as far gone as you were, the two of you laughing like idiots as you stumbled your way to the kitchen to make yourself another drink, the sound of your tipsy giggle catching the attention of Natasha as she shook her head at the state of the two of you, the pair of you too much of a chaotic duo for her to handle sometimes.

"What are you two doing?" she asks, raising her brow as she fixes herself a vodka, the Russian much better at handling her alcohol than you or Bucky, the two of your attempts at an innocent smile causing a small, endearing smile to break out onto her face.

"Nothing," Bucky mumbles, leaning against the countertop for support, purposely bumping into you to make you bump him back, trying to be subtle in front of the redhead but failing miserably as you annoy one another.

"So you weren't about to get shots?" She teases, grabbing another couple of glasses that were available, seemingly offering to pour you some, your gaze blurring briefly as you try to remember why this was familiar, the redhead confused at your puzzled and thoughtful expression.

"Nope," Bucky slurs, popping the 'p' and smiling at her charmingly, his blue eyes filled with love as he gazes at her, flashing her an affectionate smile to make her roll her eyes as he aims to make her blush. "But if you wanna pour us some that'd be ok," he murmurs, knowing if the two of you tried to do it there'd be a lot of broken glass or spilled drinks as well as an array of disappointed complaints about the waste of alcohol.

"Wait," your tone raising in a dramatic fashion as you point your finger at her, remembering the memory briefly, "Don't trust her. She's gonna give us shots of water," Bucky's face morphs into disbelief that Natasha would do such a thing, the redhead rolling her eyes as she downs her shot, needing it right now.

"I'm surrounded by idiots," she mutters to herself, smiling at you both as she pours you each a shot of Vodka, proving to you she wouldn't to make you both trust her, knowing full well she'd switch it to water for the next round.

"Salut," Bucky cheers before you all take another shot, a grimace taking over your face at the alcohol and the sight of Bucky kissing Natasha, the redhead chuckling at the man she cherished so much before kissing his cheek and wrapping her arm around his waist to keep him upright.

"Get a room," you groan, Natasha sticking her middle finger up at you as she kisses him again, your face showing your distaste for the view causing you to leave the couple alone, not wanting to see anymore.

You mutter nonsense to yourself as you stagger around, trying to slip past people who were dancing to the blaring music to find somewhere a little less crowded for a moment, eyes slowly drifting across the room as your vision blurred once again, the sight of a familiar head of brown hair making your dazed smile widen, warmth bubbling inside you.

Deciding to go and see Wanda, you attempted to make your way through the busy hallways to get to her but the sight of a drunk Maria stopped you in your tracks, the intense blue of the woman staring at you as her mouth moved, rambling to you about something but you couldn't hear anything she said, simply offering her a drunk smile back in response as you stared at Wanda.

God you missed her. You just wanted to go up to her and tell her how beautiful she was, how amazing she was. You wanted her to know how much you loved her, all her little quirks, her pretty smile, that amused look in her eyes when you'd do something stupid. You longed to hear that angelic laughter of hers, to hear that soft, embarrassed giggle. You yearned to hear the more sinful noises too, your drunken gaze eventually being torn away from her face to the outfit she was wearing, smiling to yourself at the skirt she had worn and the red jacket that she knew you loved, your intoxicated mind unable to think of anything but her. You were drunk on the thought of her and you were addicted to it.

Maria noticed your unfocused stare, the expectant look on her face fading away as she realised you hadn't listened to a word she said, a gentle chuckle leaving her as she took in how drunk you were, advising you to go to a bathroom for a moment before leaving as she saw her friend Clint across the room, leaving to have an actual conversation with someone.

You hadn't even noticed she left you, too busy letting the world fade around you as you gazed at Wanda, taking one, unsteady step forward before stopping, the sight of a blonde entering your vision wiping the enamoured expression off your face.

It felt like a piercing pain in your chest as you watched Vision lean next to Wanda, his body towering over hers as she grinned up at him, shooting another shot someone offered her before peering up at him like she always did to you, an ache building in your chest at the sight of them.

Thoughts raced through your mind, anxiety coursing through your veins and mixing with the alcohol, the room spinning a little as you felt that familiar tightness in your chest, your breathing accelerating as you gripped onto a piece of furniture to stop your knees from giving way, somehow unable to look away from the sight that would only cause you more pain.

His hand cupped her cheek before he leaned down to press his lips to hers, his other hand moving to hold her waist as she kissed him back just as passionately, trying to stop the feeling that gnawed away at her as she focussed on him, desperately trying to forget everything else as she pushed her body further into his, unknowingly pushing you further into your state of panic and anxiety.

You wanted to leave, to somehow escape the claustrophobic space of the party happening around you but your body seemed to freeze, your muscles not listening to your screaming brain as your breathing continued to become more laboured, your heart beating harder against your ribcage at the way her hand threaded through his blonde locks, scratching at his scalp as his hand drifted lower, slipping under the hem of her skirt.

At the feeling of bile rising up your throat, you managed to turn away from the painful sight of them, your heart squeezing in agony as you blink back the tears threatening to spill, your hand clutching at your shirt, the fabric feeling restrictive against you whilst you drowned in a spiral of negative thoughts.

Why? Why did she do this? You thought she cared about you. You thought you were more. It felt like more. Was she really that scared? That scared to confront herself? Or was she ashamed of you?

When the thoughts became too much, you realised you needed to get out of there. You needed to be alone. You pushed past people, not caring if they were annoyed at your actions as you stumbled across Tony's house to find one of the bathrooms, slamming the door shut as you fell to the floor, back resting against the wood as you held your head in your hands, struggling to steady your breathing at your incessant thoughts.

Why couldn't she just love you the way you loved her?

***

Leaning your head back against your truck, you felt a deep pit of regret stirring inside you, a tired and defeated sigh leaving you as you waited for the usual footsteps to sound next to you, your eyes closed as you waited for her to arrive. You hated how you agreed to see her again, how you pushed down the events of that night to pretend that nothing was wrong with you, that you didn't have your heart shattered by the woman making her way over to you. You just wanted the anxiety and hurt to go away, the only person in the world who made you feel safe and free from your thoughts ironically the person causing them, Wanda the only person able to clear away the lingering fog of anxiety wrapped around you and clear the sky for you, to make you feel free from all your problems for a brief moment. It was stupid really, you just hoped that if you drown yourself in the safety she provided you'd forget about everything, be able to draw a line under it and move on.

The sound of her footsteps made you plant a smile on your lips, your eyes gently fluttering open as she moved to stand next to you, her green observing the hint of uneasiness in you as she peered up at you, offering you that smile she knew calmed you down. The nerves only subsided a little at her delicate and soft look, the various shades of green gazing into you causing a small flicker of warmth to tickle your heart, not the usual fire that would warm your chest as doubts still gnawed away at you, part of you wanting to confront her about last night but deciding not to, simply asking her where she wanted to go tonight instead of vocalising your thoughts.

You drove her to the Lake as she requested, the car ride filled with light banter as you wanted to hear her laugh, to feel that flutter in your chest every time she did so, your mind slowly starting to push the memory of the party further down as you focussed on this moment with her, her mesmerising green still observing you with a small hint of confusion at your odd behaviour from earlier. Her worry faded as the car ride prolonged, your usual smile growing on your lips whilst your hand moved to her knee, squeezing softly as the country roads passed you by, the scenery of open space soon changing to deep forests as you approached your hidden lake.

Once you had arranged the truck as you always did, you laid down in the back against the pillows, watching tenderly as Wanda climbed in to join you, your eyes widening at the way she effortlessly straddled your lap, intent in her eyes as she smirked down at you, heat naturally pooling between your thighs at the seductive sight of her on top of you.

"What-" your words are cut off by a desperate kiss, a moan escaping you as your mind clouds with arousal, the feeling of her pressing into you, her hands cupping your jaw in an attempt to deepen the passionate and messy kiss, enough to free you of your thoughts as you wanted.

It was similar for Wanda, her mind craving you to push away her thoughts, body begging for you. She needed you. She needed you to touch her, to caress her hips and body in that loving way, to replace the feeling of his large, selfish and over confident hands, to feel your soft and gentle lips claim hers over and over again, not his dry ones that made her feel nothing. She didn't enjoy his wet and wanting tongue, she wanted to chase your teasing lips, to hear that smug little groan you'd offer her at her sinful moans, she needed to feel pleasure crash through her body, not the disappointment that washed through her that night. It was you she needed, not him, she just didn't want to accept that.

"I need you," she sighs out against you lips, a string of saliva connecting them before you lean up to claim her addictive mouth once more, your hands moving to her hips, gently squeezing the soft skin and having her moan in pleasure and almost relief as she concentrated on the way your electric touch made her feel. She couldn't help herself as she ground her hips down against you, sparks of pleasure and arousal building in her abdomen as she moaned and gasped into the heated kiss, your hands guiding her desperate movements as you naturally took control, something the brunette adored about you. You were always in control but also always caring, dominant and soft most of the time but rougher when you knew she could handle it. You knew how to read her body, to tease her and give her what she wanted, unlike Vision.

"Yeah?" you husk out in that smug voice, tone lowering and hands sliding lower down her body, appreciation and adoration in all of your touches, despite how sinful they were, as your fingers ghosted over the edge of her skirt, letting it hitch up slowly. You can't help but think back to the way his hands did the same to her, how his fingers slipped under to reach the soft skin of her thighs as yours did now, your touch faltering as you slide them off her inner thighs, going back to her hips. You try to ignore the unwanted thought as she lets you slide your tongue into her mouth, effortlessly controlling the kiss whilst your hands continue to guide her movements, her clit brushing against her soaked panties with every desperate rut of her hips. "Show me how much you need me," you murmur against her lips, her sinful sighs pushing the memory away briefly before you bite down on her lower lip, soothing the dull pain with your tongue, the brunette's body burning with desire and lust at your teasing actions, her hips rolling against your hips with more vigour, desperate to feel the pleasure building in her to overpower her.

"Fuck," she groans out when on of your hands slide under her shirt, nails scratching against the impossibly soft skin at her stomach, the sensation causing her muscles to tense as a small amount of pain mixes with pleasure. "Please," she whispers, tone pleading whilst her hands leave your jaw, threading through your hair and scratching at your scalp, needing you to do more.

The action however stops you, your mind once again returning to the memory, remembering the same way she let her fingers slide through his blonde, how she pulled his head closer to deepen the kiss, disgust filling you at the unwanted thoughts that followed. Did she do this when he fucked her too? Tug on his hair like she does with you when you push her over the edge over and over again? It sickened you, the mere thought of them, making you break the kiss off, uncomfortable with what was going on. You needed to know what you meant to her, what the two of you were.

"Wanda, stop," you croaked out, your hands stilling her hips as her mouth ghosted over yours, her body pulling back immediately at your tone, the lustful look in her enchanting green dissipating into concern.

"What's wrong?" she whispers, eyes searching yours as her fingers brush some of your hair back affectionately, only further increasing the confusion stirring inside you at her tenderness.

"What are we?" you ask, vulnerability swirling in your eyes as you look up at her, her body still on top of yours, her brows furrowing at your question.

"What?" her tone acts confused as she avoids your gaze, a harrowing sense of dread filling her at what she thinks you mean, not wanting to talk about what the two of you were. She wanted you, she knew deep down that was all she wanted, but she couldn't. You were wrong for her, something to be ashamed of. Her love for you was shameful. She just wanted to be normal.

"What are we doing?" You ask, keeping your gaze on her as you whisper the words, scared to hear the answer but needing to know whether she cared about you. "I saw you and Vision at the party..." your words trail off at the way her eyes instantly snap back to you, guilt and something undecipherable washing over her face whilst you continue, "I just- I thought we were-" you cut yourself off with sighs, not wanting to say what you mean, too scared to be rejected.

"Were what?" her tone hardened slightly, scared you were going to say something that would make her confront herself, a small part of her hoping you'd still say you were something more. She crushed the small glimmer of hope just as fast it came, her reluctance to be like that too powerful. She wasn't one of them. No, she was going to be normal. She was going to have Vision and he was going to give her everything she'd need to fit in.

"I thought you cared," you murmur in a quiet voice, the small tone of your voice creating a dull ache in her chest, her features softening momentarily before confliction etched its way onto her face.

"I do care," she sighs out, trying to figure out how to unravel her messy thoughts and put them into a sentence, her hands moving to brush her own hair back in a stressed manner, her head looking away from you to try and distance herself momentarily. "What we are is... casual," she says after a moment, a nauseous feeling stirring inside her at saying the words, knowing that they weren't true. She was just making another excuse, coming up with another stupid reason to not have that conversation with you.

You scoff at her words, feeling the bottled up anger from the last few days seep into your veins, your gaze conveying your irritation at her as she meets your gaze, her fingers anxiously playing with one another at your reaction.

"You know that's not true," your tone matching her provoked one, shaking your head in disbelief as she looks away from you, trying her best to not let you see the tears threatening to spill as she tries to stop the feelings towards you.

"We agree on this being casual, no strings attached," Wanda manages out, the brunette biting down on her lower lip to stop it trembling as she builds up the courage to look at you, preparing for the pain that would envelope her heart at the idea of hurting you.

"But Wanda-" you try, wanting to argue that this was never just casual, the two of you always having been drawn together.

"No," she interrupts, not willing to hear you out. "We agreed on that and-" she pauses, hesitating over her own words which only disproves her point, "Nothing has changed for me. If it's changed for you we need to call this off." 

Her words pierce your heart, the usual playful look in your eyes replaced with a blank stare as you looked behind her at the lake, forcing yourself to keep it together and suffer in silence whilst contemplating your answer. You should tell her the truth, break off the arrangement to stop any more pain for the both of you, but you were selfish. Having her like this, just a little bit, was more important to you than not having her at all.

"No," you whisper out, clearly not meaning the words as you answer her, "Nothing's changed."

"Good," her tone is shaky as she mutters the word, not having it in her to call out your blatant lie.

Once the two of you grew silent, you realised she was still on your lap, the brunette moving off you swiftly and apologetically before sitting next to you, not leaning her head on your shoulder as she usually would, simply staring out at the scenery in front of her as she truly grasped how hard it was going to be to stop the way she felt towards you.

She'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.

[espressiimartinii]

vii. god forbid a woman have hobbies

part 7

summary: new year? new me! it does take y/n l/n a little bit of time to get used to the rb15, and favouritism does really sprint in the red bull racing family.

pairing: none - it's all platonic 💅

warnings: apart from rewriting actual events so they fit better, there may be a sprinkle of typical motorsport ✨sexism✨

tag list is back open! turns out i still don't understand the tagging system, so i will be tagging in comments.... sorry? i will be capping tags at about 25

author's note: and if i said i got sick, what then... shout out to the regular flu, you're a real one for that.

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offseason shenanigans

rbr_y/nl/n my focken PIZZA 😭😭 also, i could not post the picture were alexi looks STUNNING!! 😍 tagged: alexirexi; surves

f1brainrot ma'am.... the trolley?? you could be injured??? why??? ↳ rbr_y/nl/n it's fun, hope that helps👍

redbullracing ✔️ this does not look things that are on the approved list of activities... ↳ rbr_y/nl/n okay? close your eyes then? 🧐

alexirexi I LOOK HAWT 🥵 ↳ surves why are you gripping the back of my head like that tho... ↳ rbr_y/nl/n did you want to smash your face against a PUBLIC toilet rim? ↳ surves thank you for holding my head up alexi, i didnt doubt u for a second ↳ alexirexi anything for u bby gorl 😜

danielricciardo Are you taking applications for new members? ↳ rbr_y/nl/n I hate to break this to you.... but you're not eligible to become a member 😔 ↳ danielricciardo But you said I could join. ↳ rbr_y/nl/n Positions aren't open to ex-red bull drivers, that's like hanging out with an ex ↳ maxverstappen What about current drivers? ↳ danielricciardo There is no way that my best friends are deciding to hang out with me. ↳ rbr_y/nl/n membership approved for max, but i guess he can bring a plus one..... 🙄 ↳ maxverstappen I will bring you, Daniel, do not worry. ↳ danielricciardo YEE HAW 🤠

pierregasly vraiment, sans ton frère? ↳ rbr_y/nl/n oui 🥖 ↳ pierregasly 😡

womeninf1 she's besties with danny ric and max verstappen?? it's only been literally 1 month since she got to red bull... ↳ stany/n i just know that max was outdone.... maxplaining? nah, y/n is a certified yapper ↳ y/n4wdc was that even a question?? what i wouldn't give to interrogate christian horner and find out who his favourite adopted child is ↳ maxstans it's max for sure ↳ f1brainrot is it?? did you see danny ricc's christmas insta post where he revealed that only y/n l/n got a horner family christmas invite?? ↳ maxstans THE FAMILY CHRISTMAS!?!? ↳ stany/n max also revealing in a press interview before christmas that christian would NOT shut up about how proud he is of y/n ↳ womeninf1 you forgot to include the fact that max was just maxplaining how monumental it is that y/n is in f1 and how he admires her work ethic ↳ maxstans oh, so you're telling me.... max and y/n are siblings now ↳ pierregasly No. Not true. ↳ f1brainrot PIERRE GASLY? ↳ pierregasly Max is not the brother, I am.

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we release the christmas photos

rbr_y/nl/n y/n!! release the evidence!! release the pictures!! well here is evidence that i got to spend christmas AND new years with THE geri halliwell and her husband (whoever that is?) tagged: gerihalliwellhorner; alexirexi; surves

gerihalliwellhorner It was our pleasure to have you staying with us for Christmas and New Years. Let's do brunch when you race in Silverstone and maybe we'll be able to escape Christian's racing lectures for a little bit. ↳ rbr_y/nl/n Yes!! I will clear my calendar, anything for you!! ↳ redbullracing RED ALERT RED ALERT RED ALERT THE BOSS IS LOOKING A LITTLE BIT MIFFED INNIT

danielricciardo I've been with the team for 5 years and I haven't been invited? Ever? Am I witnessing favouritism? ↳ rbr_y/nl/n you don't even work here anymore!!! ↳ danielricciardo You never truly leave the Red Bull Family, once a red bull racer, always a red bull racer. ↳ rbr_y/nl/n Well, boss has a favourite and it's me. ↳ maxverstappen That sounds incorrect, I literally exist. ↳ redbullracing The boss would like to relay that he has no favourites and he would never choose one. ↳ maxverstappen I will literally put the car into the wall if he does not choose me. ↳ rbr_y/nl/n contracts agreed to under duress are not legally binding!

pierregasly So this is why you declined the invite to spend Christmas with us.... I see... ↳ rbr_y/nl/n pierre... I am so sorry.... I will spend Christmas with you this year... ↳ pierregasly Maman will be very disappointed in you if you do not turn up.

stany/nl/n I think she just got adopted... well, at least we can call her a nepo baby. ↳ f1brainrot This is the only nepo baby I will support. ↳ rbr_y/nl/n I'M ADOPTED?!?! ↳ mamal/n No, honey, we found you on the side of the road. ↳ f1brainrot NOT Y/N'S ACTUAL MOTHER SAYING THIS ↳ womeninf1 what's a better bit, y/n continuously being censored by the red bull PR team or the dubious beginnings of y/n's life - like who are her parents if she was found on the ground? ↳ redbullthegoat is that even a legitimate question? Her father is literally 2012 Sebastian Vettel. ↳ stany/nl/n i think that means she is a child of a teen mum. ↳ womeninf1 yeah, that kinda checks out tho...

alexirexi THANK U GERI FOR HAVING US OVER AS WELL!! ↳ surves Thank you so much for having us, it was a BLAST. Sorry for climbing on top of the fridge... ↳ gerihalliwellhorner It was a pleasure to have the both of you over as well!

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the australian grand prix weekend starts and we are off to an okay start

note: trying a new format for the instagram post comments, cause the indenting was not working el em ay oh

taglist (cause i'm kinda stupid and forgot to include it in the original comment tagging spree): @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy;