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smoothdogsgirl · 4 months ago

Text

It's A Girl!

Pairing: Nikki Alexander x Jack Hodgson

Warnings: Mentions of Loss of a child, still birth

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Summary: This story starts in the last few minutes of S24Ep8 "Brother's Keeper Part 2"

What if the paternity test results had come back differently? What if Jack was Cara's father?

Nikki is there to support Jack and shares some of her past with him.

Disclaimer: This is fanfic work; no money is being made from this story. All recognizable characters belong to their respective creative authors, studios or producers.

Master List

“Hiya,” Nikki utters as she walks up to Jack. He is leaning against the kitchenette counter at their office in the Lyell, absentmindedly playing with his phone.

“Hi,” Jack mumbles in response.

“Any news from Cara?” She asks him.

“Cara…” Jack pauses briefly, “Cara’s been off to Ireland on her own. She’s gone to see Aiofe. Ryan is… I don’t know where Ryan is. But you were right.” He then sighs.

Confused, Nikki asks, “Right about what?”

Jack looks up from the counter into Nikki’s eyes, “I was jealous of Ryan. I didn’t want him to be Cara’s father. I wanted it to be me.”

Nikki watches him intently, “But?”

“I sent off the paternity test, and the results just came in,” Jack replies nervously, picking up his phone, twirling it, and placing it back on the counter.

Watching him, she waits several minutes for him to continue. But when his silence persists, “And?” She asks anxiously.

Jack releases another long sigh, “I haven't been able ta bring myself to look.”

Nikki reaches out and gives his hand an encouraging squeeze.

Jack turns his hand around and intertwines them together. “When the possibility first came up that I might be Cara’s da. I was shakin' in ma boots! Then I got to know her, realized how much we have in common. And now I guess it feels like a door was opened; I’m afraid that when I look at the results, it will then be abruptly shut forever! Ya know?”

“I think that door stays open as long as you want it to.”

Jack uses his other hand to pick up his phone and unlocks it. He opens the email with the paternity test results and hands the phone to Nikki., “Will ya please tell me the results? I just can’t look.”

Nikki takes the phone from Jack’s outstretched hand; glancing down, she reviews the results. “Well, Jack. IT’s A GIRL!” Nikki announces enthusiastically, a large grin on her face.

“What?” Jack questions, unable to process Nikki’s announcement.

Stepping closer to him, “Jack, Cara is your daughter.”

“Really?” he asks shocked.

“According to these test results, you are undoubtedly the father of Cara Connelly..” Nikki emphasizes as she places the phone on the counter and pulls him into an embrace.

Jack wraps his arms around her, hugging her tightly, “I can’t tell ya how relieved I am.” His Irish accent is even more pronounced as he whispers into her hair and tucks her head under his chin. “I think I need to make some serious changes to my life.”

Nikki buries her head in his chest and breathes in the combination of his body wash and cologne before giving a mumbled reply, “Maybe it’s time for the both of us to make some changes.”

A couple of hours later, a tired Nikki unlocked her front door and flipped on the light in the entry before signaling Jack to enter her home. His hands were laden with the pizza they had picked. Along with the six-pack of Stella she was carrying.

“Go to the sitting room; I’m just gonna grab a few sheets of kitchen roll. Do we need anything else from the kitchen?”

“Na, I think we got everythin’ else,” he replies. He places the pizza on the coffee table and lays his jacket on the sofa's backrest.

Nikki comes in from the kitchen sans jacket, carrying several sheets of kitchen roll and two bottles of beer. She joins Jack on the sofa. Both dig in and grab a slice of pizza. They were eating in companionable silence until they’d devoured the entire pizza.

Jack eventually breaks the silence, “I canna believe she’s my daughter. I had she was mine and not Ryan’s. But I didn’t get my hopes up to spare myself the disappointment. Aiofe and I only slept together that one time.”

Nikki chuckles, “And again, you’ve managed to beat the odds.”

He raises an eyebrow in amusement, “Aye, I guess I did.”

“When will you tell Cara, Aiofe, and Conor?”

“I wanna tell Cara in person. This isn't somethin’ I wanna tell her via text. She deserves better than that. I’ll have ta see when she’s coming back to London. I don’t particularly want to have that conversation with Aiofe. I’ll ask Cara for advice. Aiofe is a landmine at the best of times. She comes by that Irish temper true. As for my da, I’ll tell him the next time I see him. He already knows he’s Cara’s grandda; the fact that I’m her da instead of Ryan will be the hard part.”

“You could always take the weekend and fly out to Belfast.”

“Honestly, If I fly out to Belfast to see Cara, I’ll also have to see Aiofe. I know I’ll have to talk to her. She’s her mother, and our getting along will be what's best for Cara. I know that here,” he says, pointing to his heart. “But here,” he says, pointing to his head, “I feel anger and resentment toward her. We were young and stupid, no doubt. But she shoulda told me she was pregnant. I have missed the first seventeen years of Cara’s life; I’ll never get that back.”

“You have a right to feel that way. Just don’t let those feelings cloud and overshadow the bond you can form with Cara now. You two are already growing closer, especially since we’ve started taking the BSL classes.”

“Thank you for taking them with me.” “Of course. I want to be able to communicate effectively with her, too.”

“Take this from someone whose father walked away and only ever showed up when he needed something, especially money. Not being there the first seventeen years of her life wasn't your choice, but you can now choose to be there for her for the rest of her life. To love and support her. That will matter to her.”

Jack leans back onto the sofa, letting Nikki’s words percolate through his subconscious. Nikki scoots closer to him and places her head on his shoulder. In the silence, his steady heartbeat lulls her to sleep; Jack also succumbs to sleep not long after.

.Jack awakens the following morning from the sun shining through the French doors to the backyard. Not immediately recognizing his surroundings leaves him momentarily confused. He is also confused by the weight lying on his chest, which is pinning him to the couch. Tilting his head down, he sees a halo of golden hair that could only belong to Nikki. Her hand was on the center of his chest, tightly clutching his blue shirt in her fist.

With his free hand, he is able to gently smooth back her hair, revealing the peaceful expression on her face as it morphs into anguish. Her head starts to move in a shaking motion as if she were saying no; the grip on his shirt tightens, and she begins to mumble the word “No,” repeatedly getting louder with each utterance until she wakes with a start yelling, “No! My baby! Not my baby!”

Jack gently nudges her shoulder whilst in a low voice, saying, “Nikki, it’s alright, love. You’re safe. I promise ya. You’re safe.” She doesn’t respond and continues to be trapped in her nightmare, so he tries nudging her again a little harder this time, “Nikki, come on, sweetheart, wake up.”

Nikki wakes with a start, lifting her head from his chest and looking around wildly. When she realizes what happened, she moves away, horrified that he’d witnessed this, “I’m so sorry, Jack.”

“Ya have nothin’ to be sorry for. Do you want to talk about it?” He asks as he rearranges them on the couch into a more comfortable position, Nikki firmly in his embrace as a measure of comfort.

“Umm,” Nikki hesitates momentarily, snuggling into his body and craving heat. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you I was married. Have I?”

A look of surprise crosses Jack’s face, “No, you’ve never mentioned being married.”

“It was a lifetime ago and over in under a year. I had gotten pregnant, and for a time, we were happy. But then the baby was stillborn at eight months. I spent my twenty-first in the hospital.” Nikki pauses, wiping away an errant tear.

Jack gives Nikki a comforting squeeze, and she continues, “When I was discharged from hospital, I became very single-minded in my grief and shut Tom out. I felt so much shame, anger, and self-loathing I couldn't be near him. I blamed myself and thought I’d done something wrong. So I went home, packed a bag and went to a mate's flat. While there, I decided I needed a fresh start and a clean break so that I could do something with my life. I filed for divorce.”

Jack gives her another squeeze and places a kiss on the crown of her head, “I’m so sorry, darlin’. I can’t imagine how devastin’ it was for ya to lose your wean.”

“I did ask the hospital that a postmortem be performed. I needed to know what I’d done wrong.”

“Nikki, I’m sure there was nothin’ ya coulda done differently.”

“You’d be correct; the postmortem showed she had a severe heart defect that had not been notable on the prenatal ultrasound. We had her cremated and buried at the Kingston on the Thames Children’s Cemetary.”

“What was her name?” Jack asked, his voice wrought with emotion.

“The name we had decided on was Emma Louise. However, when filling out the papers for her birth, I listed her as Emma Louise Alexander instead of Faulkner, my married name. It caused one hell of a row between me and Tom.”

“Do ya go an visit her on the first Saturday of every month?”

“I do. I’ve been doing it since I moved back to London from South Africa. How did you know?”

“That you were goin’ ta see your wean? That I didn’t know. But I’m observant, an’ ya are always busy on the first Saturday of the month.” Jack remarks with a smirk.

“You most assuredly know me better than most. Neither Harry nor Leo ever caught on.” Nikki replies, relishing the safety of his arms.

“I realize today isn’t the first Saturday of the month, but if ya would like ta go an’ visit her, we could. I would even go with ya. We could stop at the market and pick up some flowers.”

Nikki looks up at Jack with a smile, “That would be lovely. I want you to meet her.”

Hand in hand, Nikki and Jack stroll along a worn path through the Kingston on the Thames Children’s Cemetary. On each side of the path are rows of memorials, headstones, and shrines dedicated to young lives lost too soon over many years. Eventually, Nikki guides him from the path down one of the rows. She stops in front of a headstone with an image of a teddy bear etched on it; the name on the headstone reads ‘Emma Louise Alexander, our beloved Angel.’ Nikki lets go of his hand and traces her daughter’s name. Squatting down, Jack pulls a couple of weeds that have cropped up.

Meanwhile, he hears Nikki say, “Hi Emma, mummy misses you so much. But I’ve brought someone with me today who I want you to meet. Sweetheart, this is Jack; he works with me at the Lyell. I believe I’ve mentioned him to you a time or two.”

Jack finishes arranging the bouquet of sunflowers and daisies in the graveside vase before standing behind Nikki, wrapping his arms around her waist, and pulling her close. “Hello, darlin’, it’s a pleasure to meet ya.”

The two stand at Emma’s graveside in companionable silence for some time. When the temperature drops and a misting rain falls, Jack breaks the silence, “Would ya like ta go for a cup of coffee?”

“If you buy me a hot chocolate, you’ve got yourself a deal.” Nikki counters.

They head back to Jack’s SUV; he drives them to the little café they frequent within walking distance of the Lyell Centre. Upon entering the café, Nikki claims their usual table as Jack joins the queue. Jack makes his way to the table, balancing her hot chocolate, his coffee, and a small plate with a large double chocolate chip muffin. “One hot chocolate for the beautiful and brilliant pathologist, an Americano for her poor Irish forensic sidekick, and a double chocolate chip muffin for us to share.” he announces, producing with a flourish a couple of napkins and a disposable plastic knife which he hands to her, “Your scalpel ma’am.”

“You cheeky bugger,” she laughs, accepting the knife from him and swiftly quartering it.

“While I was waiting for our drinks, I received a message from Cara. Aiofe is driving her up a wall; she plans on leaving Belfast and returning to London by the end of the week. She asked if she could stay with me when she arrives.”

“I’m sorry she’s not getting on with her mum. The fact she wants to stay with you is great news, though.” Nikki states encouragingly.

“Yeah, it’s brilliant,” Jack replies, fiddling with his napkin.

Nikki reaches across the table, stilling his hand and giving it a quick squeeze before lacing their fingers. “By having Cara living with you, you’ll have the opportunity to get to know each other better. You will be able to form a bond with your daughter, and through you, she will also be able to form a much deeper bond with Conor.”

“Please believe me, I am glad for that. But Cara’s arrival means I’ll have to tell her that Aiofe was wrong and that I’m her da. It was bad enough telling her it was possible that in sleeping with her mother, I’d been sleepin’ with ma brother’s lass.” He hangs his head in shame.

“Jack Hodgson, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, you and Aiofe had a lapse in judgment. However, you were both young and stupid decisions are a propensity of the young. But don’t regret that decision; you have a beautiful, smart, and sassy daughter. You get to be that young woman’s father and should be proud of that.”

“Thanks, Nikk’s. I needed that little pep talk of yours…. Oh, gawd, did ya have ta remind me I’m gonna have to tell my da that about all of this.”

“Conor’s so excited that he’s a grandfather; he won’t care that Cara is yours and not Ryan’s,” Nikki replies with a smirk, knowing the older man has been enjoying getting to know the young woman.

Jack anxiously awaits Cara at the prearranged meeting point in the bus terminal. He taps his right foot, tapping out a nervous beat, and checks his watch for the fifth time. When he sees only three minutes have passed since the last time he checked, he begins to pace in place.

He startles when a hand gently taps him on the shoulder. He stumbles over his own feet in his attempt to turn around quickly. Thankfully, he is able to catch himself before tumbling to the ground. In front of him is Cara, who is carefully trying to stifle her laugh.

“Hi,” Jack says while carefully signing the greeting with his hands. He and Nikki had only had a few classes with the BSL tutor they’d hired through the University connected with the Lyell.

Cara’s face lights up at his signing, and she returns the greeting.

Making sure Cara can read his lips, he asks her if she has any other bags besides the rolling suitcase at her side and the backpack she is carrying. She gives a negative nod of the head. Jack reaches out for her suitcase and then guides her out of the building to his car.

After a short car ride, they reach his house. He leads her inside and carries her bag up to the spare bedroom. Turning to face her, he points to the foot end of the bed where a stack of towels is lying. “Those are freshly laundered, and the guest bath is across the hall. Why don’t you freshen up from your travels? I’ll start making supper in the meantime. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

Cara steps up to Jack and gives him a tight hug. He freezes momentarily, not expecting it, but quickly wraps his arms around her, his tall frame enveloping her. They stay in that position for several minutes before Cara’s belly gives a mighty rumble. She steps back, her face lightly flushed. Jack gives off an amused chuckle.

Cara then signs, “Thank you.”

Speaking clearly, Jack responds, “You’re welcome, darlin’.”

Jack heads down the stairs. In the kitchen, he pulls out two pots, one to boil some water for pasta and the second to make a sauce. He’s just finished setting the table when Cara enters the kitchen twenty minutes later, fresh from the shower.

“Perfect timing, darlin’. I hope you like pasta an’ sauce.”

She gives him a thumbs up as she opens the refrigerator, pulling out a can of Coke and a bottle of beer for Jack. She sits at the table, and Jack brings over two plates before taking his seat. Pulling her cell phone out of her pocket, she quickly types something into her text-to-talk app. “This is really, really good, Jack. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, darlin’. I’m glad you like it.”

This is how they continue the conversation throughout the meal. “What’s new at the Lyell?” Cara asks.

Jack finishes his bite of pasta, “Nothing new.”

“What about Nikki? How is she?” A slight smirk on her face as her phone verbalizes the questions.

Jack looks at her incredulously, “What?”

“It’s obvious you love her. I’m also fairly certain she feels the same about you. Didn’t she end things with the American guy?” Cara winks at the last part.

“Feck!!! Why does everyone think that? And yeah, she and Matt are done. But that’s got nothin’ ta do wit me!” Jack exclaims, his Irish accent coming out in full.

“I may be deaf, but my sight works just fine. I’m guessing the others at the Lyell aren’t blind, either. Especially not Clarissa. She has a front-row seat. As for Matt, was it? I think you have more to do with it than you think.”

“I don’t know about all that.”

“Ugh!!! This is your chance!!! Don’t bollix it up and ask her out on a date.” Cara returns, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

“Jeez, I’ll think about it. I need to tread carefully, we’ve been friends a long time, an’ I don’t wanna mess that up.” Jack sighs, “But enough about that. There’s something else we need to talk about, though.”

“Did you get the paternity test results? Is Ryan my dad?” She asks dejectedly.

“I did get the results. No, Ryan isn’t your dad. I am.”

Cara scrambles out of her chair and rushes around the table. As Jack pushes his chair back in an attempt to get up, Cara collapses on his lap, throwing her arms around his shoulders and hugging him tightly. He wraps his arms securely around her, pulling her in close. He places a soft kiss on the top of her head as he whispers proclamations of love to her. His speaking causes vibrations in his chest that soothe her,

Once she has calmed down, she returns to her seat, grasping her phone; she states, “I’m so glad you’re my da and not Ryan.’

Jack smiles, “So am I darlin’. So am I.”

“Do you think Nikki will mind you having a teenage daughter?”

“Nikki already knows, an’ she is pleased an’ excited for us,” Jack responds.

At his response, Cara frowned. “You told her before me?”

“Not exactly. I was at work when the results came in, an’ Nikki was with me. I was nervous about opening them. I was afraid they’d tell me ya were Ryan’s. I ended up given’ her my phone, an’ she told me. She knows how important you are ta me, an’ she wants to support the both of us.”

“I’m so glad. I really do like Nikki.”

“She really likes you too, Cara.”

Jack is not on call the weekend of her arrival, so they explore London together. Over the weekend, she explained that things were strained between her and Aiofe because she had applied and been accepted to a university in London. Cara informed him that she would be studying Criminology and had always been interested in science but was unsure how to pursue that love until she met him and saw how he used science to help others. He had truly piqued her interest with the possibilities out there. Jack had been flattered, dismayed, and unsure how to feel about this development.

That night, he’d texted Nikki for some guidance.

J: Are ya still up?

N: Just got home from a scene. Not doing the postmortem until noon tomorrow.

N: So what all did you go see today?

J: The London Eye, Trafalgar Square and Madame Tussauds

N: I’m jealous. I spent most of my afternoon collecting body parts from a garbage lorry 🙁 knee-deep in a metric ton of waste 😭

J: Glad to have missed that.

N: Yuk it up. I’ll make sure the next one is ALL yours. 😛

J: I need your advice, Nikks

N: What’s wrong, Jack?

J: Cara told me she and Aifoe are on the outs because she’ll attend university here in London.

N: Her being on the outs with her mum sucks. But her going to university here is a good thing.

N: has she decided what she wants to study?

J: Criminology

N: So she’s taking after her old man 😉

J: Umm

N: Jack, talk to me

J: I’m proud that she wants to study this. It shows just how smart she is.

N: But you’r torn???

J: This job isn’t safe. How often have you or I been in danger when working on a case?

N: Jack, you can guide and teach her to be safe. But you can’t wrap her in bubble film; She will come to resent you if you do.

J: Thanks. You may need to keep reminding me.

N: That I can do. I best be off to bed.

J: Sleep well

N: Thanks, and remember, it's your turn to do the coffee run on Monday.

J: 👍🏽 now go to sleep.

The following morning, Jack made a large breakfast. As he and Cara were getting ready to sit down to eat, the front door opened and shut. “Da breakfast is on the table. Come join us.”

“Who’s us son? Is it that pretty doctor friend of yours?” Conor asks as he enters the kitchen.

Jack groans, “No, da, it’s not Nikki. Cara’s back, and she’ll be livin’ with us. She’ll be starting university here in London soon.”

Conor sits in the empty place setting, waiting for him. As he does, Cara grabs his mug, goes to the kitchen, and pours him some coffee. Conor smiles at her when she brings him the mug.

“Thank you, mo stóirín.” Conor says as he mixes milk and sugar in his coffee. “I’m glad you’re staying with us.” Then, he takes a sip of his drink.

Jack, meanwhile, takes his plate and fills it with food from the table before placing it in front of Conor. “Here ya go, da.”

Conor shakes his head in bemusement, “Thanks, but I can make ma ow plate. I’m not that senile, yet.”

“I never said you were da. I was just bein’ nice.”

‘Have either of ya heard from Ryan?” Conor asks once he’s taken a few bites from his meal.

Cara shakes her head ‘no’.

Jack sighs, “Da come on. Ryan is not gonna reach out to me. He hates me. Ryan blames me for his ending up in prison. He knows I’m pissed about him bringing a gun into this house and then trying to transport it to Ireland with Cara. Not to mention what he did to ya da. That was not ok.”

Conor looks down at his plate in resignation, not wanting to accept the truth of Jack’s words.

“Plus, Ryan’s gonna hate me when he discovers that Cara’s not his,” Jack adds, wanting to get the information out in the open.

“Did Aiofe lie?” Conor asks, confused.

“Not exactly. We all thought Cara was Ryan’s. But, she and I spent a night together when they were on the outs.”

“What are ya tryin’ to tell me, son?”

“Cara’s my iníon.”

“Ya sure about that son?” Conor asks, wanting to be sure.

“Ya, da, I’m sure. I had a paternity test run. The results were conclusive.” Jack confirms.

Conor asks Cara, “How do ya feel about this mo stóirín?”

A grin spreads across Cara’s face. Using the app on her phone, she responds, “Honestly, I was happy when I initially found out about Ryan. But, the more time I spent with him, the more apprehensive I became. He made me very uncomfortable. It’s never been like that with Jack. So, since the test results came in, I’ve been happy and excited. We have much in common, and he doesn’t make me feel awkward about being deaf.”

“How about ya, Jack? How do you feel about this?” Conor asks.

“I couldn’t be happier da. When I sent off the test, I feared what they would say. Like I recently told Nikki, I was jealous of Ryan. I wanted Cara to be mine. Nikki had to open the email with the results because I was afraid to look.”

“It looks like everyone’s happy with the results. An’ for Ryan, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Conor states matter of factly. “Now, I’m gonna take ma bag to ma room an’ rest. I’m meetin’ the lads at the pub for Sunday lunch.”

Once Conor has taken his leave, Cara and Jack clean up the breakfast dishes and kitchen. The two then decide to have a lazy afternoon, watching movies and eating popcorn.

Monday morning, Jack whistles as he swipes his keycard, entering the office at the lab. He is the last to arrive, carrying a tray from the coffee shop and a brown paper bag.

“And what time do you call this?” Clarissa smarts off from her desk as he sets down the goodies on his desk.

“I guess ya don’t want the Caramel Macchiato I brought ya then,” Jack replies in kind.

Clarissa steers around their desks, “gimme before I run over those big feet of yours.”

Jack shakes his head in amusement as he hands over the coffee to her. Grabbing the tray and bag, he heads for Thomas’s office, knocking on the frame, “One double shot Americano for ya with a splash of milk; hold the sugar.”

“Thanks, Jack,” Thomas replies, accepting the beverage.

Jack’s final stop is Nikki’s desk. Sitting on the corner of her desk, he hands her her coffee. “Here ya go, shorty one Mocha Macchiato with a double espresso shot.” Nikki takes a greedy sip.

“Thanks, Jack.”

“No problem,” he said, handing over the brown bag. “One of those is for you.”

“What is it?” she asks, taking the bag.

“They had ya favorite today.”

Nikki’s eyes widen, “You got me a blueberry-orange scone?”

“No, I got us blueberry-orange scones.”

Nikki pulls out the scones; she hands one to Jack, keeping the larger of the two for herself. Before Jack can say anything, she takes a tiny bit out of hers, staking her claim. Letting out a moan of enjoyment, she turns to him, “I just might love you.”

Taking a chance, Jack responds, “It’s a good thing I love ya too then.” Before leaning down and placing a chaste kiss on Nikki’s lips. Nikki pulls back briefly to look him in the eye before leaning in and kissing Jack again.

#Nikki Alexander #Jack Hodgson #Jack Hodgson x Nikki Alexander #Cara Connelly #Conor Hodgson #Clarissa Mullery #Thomas Chamberlain #Silent Witness

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