#alex: everyone knows disappointment is worse!!!!

[lady-of-the-spirit]

Erik, bursting into the room: Who wants to make 5 bucks? 

Sean: How?

Erik: I need someone to take the fall.

Marianne in the distance: Oh my god!

Raven: What did you do?!

Erik: Yes or no, no questions asked.

Marianne: Oh my GOD!

Alex: Make it ten.

Erik: Done. 

Marianne: OH MY GOD!!

Erik: You're a good kid. [Grabs Alex's shoulder, dragging him out] I GOT HIM, MARIANNE! I GOT HIM RIGHT HERE!

[bornwholocker]

Reading flatland and obviously Bill’s home dimension and flatland aren’t exactly the same, but like. Since we don’t know which parts are different I’m just thinking. This is really unorganized and all over the place and probably doesn’t make any sense but

In flatland, it takes a LOT of planning for an equilateral triangle to be born. I’m talking like generations of interbreeding and methods for the fathering isosceles to get as close to equilateral as possible. It’s a huge deal. When an equilateral is created, it’s celebrated by pretty much everyone (for a miriad of different reasons but I won’t get into that). And being “irregular” in any respect is one of the worst things you can be. If you don’t “fix” your irregularity enough, you’re executed.

So imagine Bill’s family working their triangular asses off to have an equilateral kid, to give him a better life, and when they finally do it, he’s got that eye. From what we’ve seen of his parents, they seem to have taken care of him as best they could, but again, it’s been a whole ordeal just to have him, involving the whole community and family, and he came out wrong.

I imagine that’s probably why his parents took him to see the doctor and drink the “juice” that messed with his vision. They thought they were doing what was best for him. They didn’t blame him for his eye, didn’t hate him for it, but they felt the need to fix him, either to please their families or even just bring him to their own standards. The idea of irregularity being wrong is seen as natural and obvious, so they wouldn’t find an issue with trying to change him.

Another thing about flatland is that the mention of any third dimension or any idea close to that is pretty much criminal. (Spoilers i guess) The narrator of the story, a square who saw the third dimension for himself, is eventually locked away for talking about it.

So Bill was supposed to be a sort of miracle baby, I guess is the best way to put it. And when he came out just slightly but irreparably wrong, it was devastating. And then he starts spouting about 3D and the stars and he just wants people to understand, to see that it’s not dangerous, that it’s beautiful. But his parents don’t want him to get imprisoned or worse, so they try to keep him quiet. They give him his juice and his silly straws and wave away any ideas about the third dimension.

Bill was born a disappointment, one of the lowest life forms imaginable, and the only way he was gonna get anywhere in life was by losing his stars forever. He was told that the thing right in front of him wasn’t real, that he should stop talking about it, that he could get in trouble. So he had to show everyone that he was right. He would be a hero! He would be the kid who finally discovered where the light came from, something no scientist had ever gotten close to figuring out!

But in the end his parents were right. It was too dangerous. God bill tragic backstory is so ougrhhhhj grabs alex hirsch by the shoulders and shakes him

[unformula1]

please. (LS2 x OP81)

logan finally has to confront his deepest want. part 3 of "changed" part 2 w/c: 968 day 33/34 of loscar posts until we get a loscar podium!!!(series masterlist) masterlist tw: swearing

You are a disappointment.

People don’t like you.

You’re an outcast.

Failure.

Logan suppresses everything he’s feeling right now: anger, rage, regret, sadness, guilt. Everything bottled up in his heart.

Pathetic.

His eyes shut tightly, but everything is clearer than crystal. All of it. Every lasting second of it feels like another shot in the heart. Every striking minute feels like salt poured into the wound. Every memory feels like a twisting dagger.

Logan starts sobbing more violently, bringing his knees up and burying his head in them. His sobs echo around the room, bouncing off the walls and back into his ears.

Worthless.

Logan whispers repeatedly, doing everything to get his thoughts away. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

His door opens.

Shit.

“Yo, Logs, I’m heading-” Alex’s voice is heard.

Logan keeps his head buried, he’s not going to let Alex see him like this.

As if this couldn’t get any worse, he hears Lando in the background. Some muffled voices but he’s with Alex.

“Mate, are you alright?” Alex’s voice softens.

Then he hears footsteps. Alex is walking closer to him, he keeps his head buried tightly, his knees press hard against his head. 

Alex’s hand touches Logan’s back, which makes him flinch. He shuts his eyes tightly and breathes.

“You said this would take a few seco-” Lando’s voice can be heard, “Oh.”

Logan continues to keep his head down as Alex sits down next to him. 

“Logan?”

Oscar? It’s Oscar’s voice. 

Logan can feel more tears brimming, but he continues to silence his sobs. 

More footsteps can be heard entering his room, the door closing afterward. Logan doesn’t react. 

“You good?” Lando kneels down in front of Logan.

Logan remains stoned in his position. How’s he going to respond, what will he even say? A tear escapes his eye and drops onto the bench cushion, Logan feels a sting in his throat.

He doesn’t know where exactly Oscar is in the room right now, but he just hopes Oscar leaves soon. He cannot let Oscar see him like this, let alone let Oscar know that Logan has been crying about him.

He shuts his eyes and hopes they all leave soon.

“Logan.” Oscar says and Logan almost feels like breaking down into tears. 

A few seconds of silence follows and he feels a weight lift off the cushion. Then footsteps, then the door opening, then the door closing.

“Logan.” Oscar’s repeats, “It’s just me now.”

That does not make Logan feel any better. Logan hates this. He wants to see Oscar but not like this. 

Oscar clears his throat and slides Logan’s phone under his knees so he sees it. His fatal mistake.

“You’re crying about me.” Oscar deapans. 

Straightforward as usual.

Now what? You’re pathetic Logan. You suck Logan.

More thoughts fog up his head. Possible outcomes, all of them are bad. 

Oscar laughs at Logan and leaves.

Oscar makes fun of Logan and calls him a sad pathetic loser.

Oscar’s hand stroking Logan’s back almost makes him flinch violently but he resists doing so. 

Oscar’s hand continues stroking up and down.

Maybe Oscar would tell everyone and embarrass him.

Oscar calls him pathetic.

“I won’t talk about it if you don’t want me to.” Oscar’s voice is soft, like when Oscar used to talk to Logan.

Is he mocking Logan?

This has got to be a joke, some sick joke. He’s probably being filmed right now.

Logan finally shakes his head. He hates his thoughts right now, they all press down on the back of his head, stopping him from lifting it up and just looking at Oscar.

“Logan, will you please… look at me.” Oscar pleads, his voice growing with concern, “I just want to see that you’re okay.”

No. NO. NO.

The voices resound louder in Logan’s head.

“Logan please.” Oscar’s voice pleads even more.

“Just for a while.” Oscar continues.

NO.

He wants to lift his head up, look at Oscar. Everything else doesn’t want him to. His mind fills up with every single bad outcome possible, all the dreaded thoughts pull him deeper into the abyss.

Logan shakes his head again.

“Just leave me alone.” Logan says, holding back his sobs.

Oscar’s hand leaves Logan’s back and it feels empty now.

Logan feels like slamming his head against a wall. What the hell is wrong with him?

“Logan, I just want to-” 

And then, just as if some external force takes over his body, he shouts, “PLEASE. JUST LEAVE.”

A small gasp escapes Oscar’s mouth and he gets up, leaving the room.

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Logan breaks down. He doesn’t hide the sobs anymore, he cries. The tears flow down his cheeks. 

What was he thinking?

Pathetic.

Failure.

Worthless.

Of course he fucked up, what was new? Logan Sargeant, the man of all mistakes, the mistake of all mistakes. 

He punches the cushion again. 

Logan just wishes he was better in everything he did. Then maybe he wouldn’t be such a disappointment. People would stop worrying so much about if he made it out alive. Everything would be so much easier.

You deserve every failure you have.

You were the problem.

You failed.

-------

A few minutes, maybe hours, pass and Logan can feel the dried up marks of tears on his face, staining his cheeks. His eyes are puffy red and his throat stings from sobbing.

He just imagines how Oscar is having fun with Lando and Alex right now, enjoying life and forgetting about Logan.

Nothing new. Mr Unmemorable. Mr Forgettable.

He wipes whatever tears can be wiped off and gets up, slotting his phone into his pocket. He straightens out his clothes and takes a deep breath, walking toward his door.

It’s late already, everyone’s probably left.

He opens the door and walks out.

“Logan-”

[cskv11]

No art request but do you have any head cannons for bill??🤨

Ey yo why you makin that face? Is this some kind of interrogation??

Personally, I'm not a very headcanon kind of guy, more than anything cause I like to be able to see the author's vision, but more importantly, to avoid disappointments. Although this does not stop me from having a couple of headcanons:

First of all, I believe Bill had a much deeper thing going on with Ford, more than we were lent to in the show and the journal.

like- this "Oh my Muse" kind of thing is much freakier than just a nickname, these two nerds did way more than just a portal, if you know what I mean.

On the same matter, I think that, though at some point their relationship might've been kind of genuine, Bill saw Ford the same way a person sees their dog: someone who swears unconditional loyalty to their god/owner.

While this kind of bond does leave space for love and affection, there's this clearly marked boundary, a jeriarchy that states that one of the counterparts has a higher, a more elevated position in the relationship.

This same thing makes me assume, too, that Bill had felt betrayed as much as Ford did. Not because Ford did something wrong or deserved it (this poor soul had sacrificed everything he had, he isolated himself from everyone he knew just because he thought Bill was on the right; heck, even after scarring Fiddleford FOR LIFE, instead of apologizing or trying to help him, he was so gaslit from Bill poisonous words he thought Fiddleford was trying to sabotage his work) but because Bill's egotistical and narcissistic ass believed someone as naive as Ford was not capable of such thing. When Ford finally opens his eyes and gives his back to Bill, the dude is completely bamboozled. He did NOT expect Ford to drastically decide they were no longer friends. Bill expected Ford to say "Fuck it, we ball" and finish the portal once and for all. Bill thought Ford would be loyal to him no matter how bad the sittuation could get.

What would Bill do once he got through the portal? I don't think he'd kill him right away; he'd toy with Ford for a bit, til he got tired of it, and then would finish him off, just for fun.

As of Bill's backstory, I do think he used to have a brother. And for whatever reason, this same thing is the leading one for him to have become the wacky dude we know him for. Maybe his brother died/ got killed, which made Bill go apeshit, or maybe he hated his brother so much he was the one who killed him. Alex Hirsch did say Bill had a worse relationship with his father than Stanley did. Maybe what happened with Bill was a Stanley/Stanford dynamic, but multiplied by a hundred.

Say, he was his brother's shadow, and in an outburst of anger, he killed him, thought of the consequences of his parents seeing that scene and said "fuck it, no witnesses", took a gas can and burnt the whole family down.

This, too, comes related to what the axolotl said: "saw his own dimension brun. Misses home and can't return".

Additionally, the "says he's happy; he's a liar" verse and Bill's own "lie until you aren't liying; lie until the lie has become the truth" advice makes me strongly believe the dude has gaslit himself from the horrors he's commited so much he does actually believe his lies. He could tell you the sky is pink, and he would honestly believe it. And don't even try arguing with him about it, he will find a way of justifying why the sky is, in fact, pink.

Though it would be an interesting journey to redeem this guy, I would really love for him to continue being this horrible dude he is.

I don't know what The Book of Bill will be about, but if we're given more of bits about his origins, it would be amazing. But not go on full detail about it, cause one of the determining traits this dude has is being a mystery. And if they do end up telling something about his backstory, let it be some ironic and absolutely unserious tale; make the audience guess where's the lie and where's the truth.

Does this suffice your question, anon??? 🤨🤨🤨

Is there something else you're craving to ask? I have no trouble in answering haha

Also- I apologize for not posting much, there's a lot of funny requests i wanna draw but it's kind of impossible for me to do much right now. I've got lots of exams and so very little free time, BUT i'll try making something for this next weekend!! :)

[kanesturner]

Cuddles in the kitchen

alex turner x reader

(fluff) word count: 1.5k

summary: the car Alex comforts the reader after works been stressing her out lately

warnings: none just fluff :)

The soles of my feet aching with every step i take and the pain in my head getting worser each time i walk down the empty street. I always do my best with work and to please people in my life but all i get back is pain.

Alex always tells me to take breaks but i don't listen because i always feel the need to be impressing someone. Especially with the people I work with I know I am below their standards but I always try fit it, probably because I'm younger most people look down on me.

with all the thoughts going on in my head right now i've just had enough. The tears freely fell from my eyes i had no control everything coming down on me like a pile of bricks.

I entered the apartment building the lights blinding my eyes immediately, making me wince as my headache is now turning into a painful migraine.

I made my way to the elevator frantically pressing the button. When the doors finally opened I stepped in and pressed the number '5' button as we live on the fifth floor.

Turning around I looked at myself in the mirror mascara dripping down my face, my once neat ponytail now all messy and sticking out in places.

*ding*

Taking my first steps out the elevator door i began to make my way to mine and Alex's apartment. I still had tears slipping out my eyes, I tried to wipe them away so Alex wouldn't see I just didn't want him to worry.

I approached the door and shakily took the keys from my purse. I finally unlocked the door and stepped inside. The smell of a gingerbread candle hit me making my migraine worse.

Squinting my eyes to try ease some pain on my throbbing head. Slowly i begin to take my heels of my feet finally free. Then i took my coat of hanging it up on one of the many hooks we had in our entrance.

After i finished with all that I made my way to the kitchen. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet and turning the sink on, waiting for the water to turn cold.

Filling my glass up and turning the tap off. I took a long a sip from the glass my surroundings becoming unknown. Getting lost in my train of thought I didn't hear Alex come from upstairs.

"You alright love?" he whispered gently in my ear. He grabbed my hips and pulled me into his chest placing his head on my shoulder.

"Jesus al you scared me" I said holding my chest. "I'm sorry love" he spoke gently kissing my cheek.

I closed my eyes all the thoughts from earlier still floating around my head, making it harder for me to compose myself.

We stood there in silence. I could feel the lump forming in my throat, my breathing becoming ragged, the tears finally slipping past my eyes.

"How was work darling, you have a good day ?" al gently spoke.

"Mhm it was alright" I silently let out.

He grabbed my hips to turn me around so we were now facing each other. My mascara dripping tears now obvious to him.

his face dropped he didn't like seeing me upset. "Oh love" he spoke pulling me into his chest.

That's when I couldn't control it anymore everything just came out. I sobbed and sobbed into his chest, he let me and he didn't say a word until i was ready to speak.

His hand coming down on my back to softly rub it. My migraine now became very painful from all the crying I was doing.

After a about 5 minutes i finally pulled my head from his chest.

"I am sorry al" I sobbed out.

He grabbed my face and wiped away my tears i leaned into his touch closing my eyes. "Don't you dare be sorry love it's okay, if you want to talk to me about anything i'll listen okay". He softly spoke placing a kiss on my forehead.

"I just feel like I disappoint everyone in my life, my parents, people at work and especially you. I try my best every day to please people in my life a-and it's getting tiring because no one cares about anything i do". I finally let out

"And al you can do way better i don't know why you chose to be with me i mean look at me". I laughed

I looked to the floor feeling once again disappointed with myself.

"look at me y/n". he said

I didn't move my head i just couldn't look at him. He grabbed my chin and lifted my head up. My eyes now looking straight into his.

"Y/n you're not a disappointment and the people at your work are arseholes. i appreciate you so much love i'd never ask for anything else, your amazing and i mean it and the people that don't appreciate everything you do, they really don't deserve you y/n"

I wrapped my arms around him and buried myself into his chest again I really needed to hear that.

"I love you so much al." I said looking up at him.

"I love you so much too y/n"

I placed my hands on his face and pulled him in, our lips gently colliding. His lips feeling soft against mine, his hands came down to my hips and pulled me as close as we could.

After a while Alex gently pulled away. "Darling why don't we get you up to bed now." He said kissing me once more.

"okay al." I smiled

He grabbed my hand and we walked to our room. My head still painfully throbbing from earlier.

When we got to our room I went over to my bedsidetable and got a pack of paracetamol out. I walked into the bathroom that was inside our bedroom, i got a hand full of water from the sink and took the two paracetamol.

"love come here."Alex softly yelled from the bedroom.

I made my way back to our room and saw al standing at the end of the bed with a shirt and a pair of shorts in his hand.

"sit here darling." He said patting the end of the bed. I walked to the end of and sat down. "what's wrong al?" I questioned.

"nothings wrong my love, let's get you changed okay?" He said getting to his knees. "no no al you don't have to I can do it." I babbled out

"Darling please let me i really don't mind." He spoke leaving a small kiss on my knee.

"okay al"

he gently began to pull my tights from my legs. massaging my feet, my eyes slowly shut the pain in my feet becoming less and less with each squeeze he did.

He suddenly stopped and my eyes shot open. "why'd you stop." I pouted giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

"don't start with that." He laughed out. "stand up for me would you love" he gently spoke.

I stood up towering over him now as he was still on his knees. I playfully ruffled his hair so it went all messy. I started laughing because his hair looked absolutely crazy.

"What's got you all laughing?" He asked looking up confused.

"Nothing." I giggled. "Mhm." He hummed

He hooped his fingers into the waist band of my skirt and slowly pulled it down. "Hmm you look good from this view." I laughed playfully winking at him.

"Oi don't be cheeky now love." He spoke lightly slapping my thighs.

I put my hands in his hair gently running my fingers through it. He grabbed the pair of shorts that were next to him on the floor.

"put your legs in for me love." He said holding the shorts in front of my feet.

i placed both my feet in the shorts and he pulled them up me. He then stood up and started unbuttoning my shirt.

Once he did that he places one of his shirts over my head and put it on me.

"there we go." He said smiling at me.

"Thank you baby." I spoke.

I placed a gentle kiss on his lips and walked over to my bedside table to put away the box of paracetamol i got out.

"You ready for bed now al?" I asked.

"yeah love." He said walking over to his side of the bed.

We both got in bed and I laid my head on his chest. He softy started stroking my hair making me relax into his touch.

"Thank you for helping me out a bit al, it's helped." I softy spoke.

"Anytime love."

He kissed my head while continuing to stroke my hair.

"goodnight al I love you." I whispered.

"goodnight y/n I love you too."

That was the last thing i heard before i dozed off.

*First fic ahhhh don't hate🙄, but i currently have more i'll be working on specifically smut ;). If you want to request anything make sure you do :)*

[firstprince-ao3feed]

would you rewind it all the time?

by corporation_tshirt No one knows about his date with Henry. Even Alex isn’t sure why – he came out to everyone in his life less than two weeks after, so there really hasn’t been a reason not to tell June and Nora about the absolute debacle that was his first date with a man– but every time the opportunity came up, something had held him back. Embarrassment, maybe, or guilt that he’d kept it a secret from them at the time. And, if he’s being entirely honest with himself, a certain sense of protectiveness. He shakes his head at himself. Of course it’s not him again. How could Alex have been that paranoid and delusional to think it could be? And, even worse, why is there a tiny spark of something dangerously akin to disappointment fluttering in the space between his ribs? Quickly, he shoves the sensation down as far as he can. Rest assured, if he never has to lay his eyes on Henry ever in his life again, he’ll die a happy man. “Alex?” Instinctively, his body freezes. The voice. The lilt. The sound of his name, shaped by a distinct British accent. Jesus Christ. This has to be a twisted joke. - Henry and Alex go on two blind dates, three years apart. Words: 13289, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Alex Claremont-Diaz, Percy "Pez" Okonjo, June Claremont-Diaz, Nora Holleran Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Additional Tags: Non-Linear Narrative, First Dates, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Chance Meetings, Second Chances, Fluff and Angst, References to Depression, Alex Claremont-Diaz Has ADHD, Alex Claremont-Diaz Has Abandonment Issues, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Needs a Hug, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Angst with a Happy Ending, Inspired by a HIMYM episode, Not Beta Read, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meet-Cute via https://ift.tt/a8WDIxG

[reanbowful]

“I hate you”

if you lash out at them during an argument

*implications of cheating, the boys are unlikable in this (after some nsfw posts come freshen up with angst🤩)

(gray, ben, donald, jake, wolf, dean)

gray yeon / yeon sieun

You and Gray’s relationship is.. a bit complicated. It’s more of a situationship than an actual relationship.

So you do couply stuff together, like get each other flowers. Study dates. You go on dates together, and stuff like that. But you guys don’t have a label.

Like he’s not stupid, he knows you have a romantic attraction towards him. But he’s just.. not sure.

He doesn’t know if this is what you really want.

What if you find someone better? What if you get bored? What if you get tired?

Gray is used to people walking out of his life, so he’s quite sensitive about making new connections.

So one day, he decides to test you. (as harsh as it is, I feel like Gray would do something like this. Like test his partner. When in doubt use science or whatever)

“I can’t go today. I have a date coming up.”

He saw your expression twist.

“A date? What do you mean ‘a date’?”

“I’m going out with someone. So we can’t go to that arcade today.”

You stood from your seat, scrunching your brow.

“If you’re joking, that’s really not funny.”

“It’s not a joke. Why are you so mad anyway?”

His response made your blood boil.

“Gray.. are you kidding me? What do you think I DID all this shit for?!”

Gray looked down, maybe he was wrong after all. Maybe you did like him for real.

“I.. I don’t know. I’m just not sure, I-”

You scoffed.

“So you decide to test me? No, honestly. Fuck you. I’m done being the only person making the damn effort in this.. whatever the fuck this is! Go enjoy you fucking date by the way. I hope you treat them real sweet.”

Gray gulped. Watching your raging figure slam the door to his face. Literally in his mind, he will be like. ‘God. What have I done?’

ben park / park humin

It happened on your birthday.

Ben and the rest of the boys had been preparing for weeks to plan out the perfect birthday surprise for you.

Imagine their shock, when you walked in. With a girl, that only Alex could identify as one of Ben’s friend back in middle school, in tears.

You point at Ben, then shove the girl in front of you.

“Repeat what you just told me.”

The girl began to cry harder.

Everyone is now dead silent. They couldn’t even dare utter a sound. Not when you look like you could split someone in half if they even dare interrupt you.

“B-ben.. I’m sorry. I-I’m so sorry, I told her- I can’t-“

Perhaps the situation couldn’t get any worse than you dragging Ben’s possible ex into your surprise party, who by the way is still crying profusely.

No. No, the situation just went from bad, to actual shit.

Ben moved to hold the girl’s wrist, contemplating on what’s the best action to do. Alex stared in shock, and you laughed in disbelief when Ben wiped the girl’s tears with his hand.

“So, it was true?”

“Y/N, I don’t know what you’re talking about. But it’s not cool that you’re hurting my friends.”

Drops of tears fell from your eyes as you could do nothing but chuckle bitterly.

“Ah.. you don’t know, huh? You two made out on our bed, remember? All the while I was working my ass off on that shitty internship JUST TO SURPRISE YOU ON YOUR SHITTY ASS BIRTHDAY!!”

Everyone in the room felt their heart drop at your words. Their heart aching with you. Eugene was the first to speak.

“N-no way.. You wouldn’t, would you, Big Ben..?”

His eyes widened when Ben didn’t reply, the clench of his jaw was clear enough for an answer.

“You’re lying.. how could you- to y/n..”

Before he could finish his words, Alex marched and sent his fist flying over to Ben’s jaw. Honestly, he would be so disappointed.

Everyone would be.

Not only did he break your heart, but he would also break their trust.

(later that night, Alex would come and approach you with a small cupcake and a single candle to still celebrate your birthday anyway. Despite everything that happened that day, he still wants you to at least have a nice memory about your birthday to remember it by)

donald na / na baekjin

“So, that’s the whole story. I’m not asking for your permission. I’m just letting you know.”

You two were sitting in his living room. Donald called you over for something and it sounded important so you rushed over immediately.

For a second there, you thought he was going to break up with you.

But after hearing what he just told you, perhaps him breaking up with you would be tremendously better than whatever this is.

You sat there in silent. Trying to process what he just said.

“So you’re saying that, you.. you’re welcoming another girl. Into our relationship?”

“Yes, technically. It’s just for financial purposes though, you will still have all of my heart.”

Your eyes began to water in disbelief. You feel yourself struggling to breathe as a strong desire to scream fell onto you.

“What the fuck.. What the fuck, Donald?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU FUCKING DID?!!”

Donald sighed, hands brushing through his hair.

“I can’t just avoid my responsibilities, y/n. I’m not going to end up like him.”

Your tears free fall down your face when he said those words. The trust you build this whole relationship crumbled in an instant.

“You disgust me..!”

Donald couldn’t stop you as you ran to leave his apartment.

He stared at the spot you were seated on before you left. That’s right, you left. Because of him.

He laughed bitterly, perhaps losing you was all his bad karma piled up into one for not being a good person.

jake ji / ji hakho

You and Jake sat across each other at the dinner table.

You’re trembling in anger as you try to regulate your breathing. While Jake drops his head in guilt and shame.

“What was that?”

He shakes his head, biting his lips as the tears threaten to return.

Had enough, you slammed the table before you.

“NO? YOU DIDN’T THINK I WOULD FIND OUT SOONER OR LATER?! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!”

Jake looked up at you, eyes red and swollen from crying the entire night. You’ve never raised your voice at him. Never.

“I fucking hate you.”

He looks at you, hurt in his eyes. In a normal occurrence, you would go over to his side and pull him into your arms. But right now you could only look at him in disdain.

“Don’t say that.. I love you-“

“You can’t say you love me after doing that last night. Just-“

You bit your tongue, feeling the anger returning.

“You were perfect before last night, Jake. I hope you don’t break the next one like you did me.”

“Y/N..”

He stood from his seat to try and stop you from leaving. But it’s all done. You left. And it was all his fault.

dean kwon / kwon hyukjin

You sat in a daze, staring at your phone. You heard Dean mumbling something, but you couldn’t care enough to listen.

“How long has it been?”

You heard him sigh, trying to reach for your hands.

“Look, I can explain-“

“How long has it been?”

You looked up at him, a hard expression on your face. Dean looked at you with slightly watery eyes, shaking his head in defeat.

“I don’t.. I’m sorry.”

“You’re.. sorry? What was it—that you don’t count? That you don’t remember? Tell me, Dean. Is it that easy for you to apologise after you made a FUCKING FOOL out of me?!”

Dean couldn’t dare to look at you afterwards. His gaze affixed to the tabletop.

He could hear your breathing became increasingly more ragged, trying to contain your anger.

Dean braced himself for you to shout at him again. Or maybe even hit him. He would deserve it. A whole lot more than a hit, actually.

Instead, all you did was took the necklace he gave you on your anniversary off. And the spare key to his apartment out, placed upon the table.

“If it was my heart, Dean, I could let it go more easily. But you broke so much more than that.”

Dean is not one to regret much of the decisions that he makes in life. But the image of losing you will probably stay burned forever in the back of his mind.

wolf keum / keum seongje

Wolf noticed it again today. Every time you guys caught eyes of each other in the corridors, you would look away from him instantly.

You have been avoiding him.

What’s insufferable about Wolf is that; he doesn’t realise what he did was wrong. Or if he has an idea of it, he doesn’t think of it as a big deal.

So when he called you out from your class, you could already feel the blood rushing to your brain.

“You have been avoiding me.”

You pursed your lips, refusing to look at him.

“What did I do wrong? Are we not going to talk anymore?”

You know that moment when you’re so frustrated that you want to start crying? That’s how it feels at that moment.

“So you think sleeping with another person on our bed is normal?”

“Is it about that girl from last time? Noona, I told you nothing happened.”

“It’s not about how ‘nothing happened’, Wolf! How would you feel if you come home to another guy holding me in our sleep?!”

Wolf felt himself tense at the thought.

“I wouldn’t like that.”

Then he caught your incredulous expression.

“You’re angry.”

“Oh my god.. Of course I am! YOU DESENSITISED MORON!”

A few kids from your class has come out to check on the commotion in the hallway. Normally you would be the reasonable one and just back away from conflicts, but this has happened times too much.

“Sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. Look, Wolf. Maybe.. we’re just not right for each other.”

“Noona..”

“Don’t. Please.. go back to class, Wolf.”

A mixture of emotions ran through Wolf’s body. He felt hurt, shocked, confused. But just mostly empty.

You were a part of him. An exception in his life that he cherish more than anything.

He will blame himself heavily on how things end up and try to better himself. Like he will actually try.

If you notice, he could only hope that you will take him back.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Breaking down the comics: BENDIS. PART 1. 

READING THINGS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO! 

ALRIGHT EVERYONE IT'S TIME. 

It's 12 issues long. 

When this came out, I thought "This is the worst thing ever." and was so disappointed and angry. I refused to purchase the trade and frowned at it real hard any time it was mentioned. 

If I could go back in time and tell little me that there were far...FAR...worse things ahead I'm not sure I'd have believed me. 

Lucky for me, something spectacular and wondrous and amazing was also ahead. 

But we'll get to that later. 

Moon Knight: (2011) 

publication date: July 2011-June 2012. 

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis

Artist: Alex Maleev 

Editor: Jeff Youngquist 

TIME LINE TIME! 

Let's start off with a little bit of Comic History! 

Moon Knight started in 1975. Moench and Zelenetz took it to 1990. 

We hit the 90s and it was a rough go for our pal. I'll cover the 90s later. 

Moon Knight then faded into obscurity and only the die hard fans that remembered our friend in white clung to every fleeting background appearance or mention. 

He then returned to us in 2006. 

The series of runs from 2006-2009 revived the series into a new glorious age of Marvel comics. The comics were far from perfect, the characterization was often WAY off, but it was better than nothing and a lot of good did come out of that age. 

2009-2010 brought us Vengeance of Moon Knight, which was also pretty good. 

Moon Knight was trucking along. 

It was roughly in this age that I became aware of Moon Knight and started reading the old stuff. 

Then 2011 they announced a new writer taking over Moon Knight. 

I actually went to a convention and remember this announcement. 

Marvel editor and Chief Joe Quesada was heading the panel and was super excited. He professed to love Moon Knight and was super enthused to see him not only be continued, but to also be in the hands of such an esteemed writer as Bendis AND joining a west coast team. (I'll get to that). 

So from 2011-2012 we got...THIS.... 

Moon Knight was then swiftly canceled. 

It was a disaster and did NOT do well on sales or reviews. (gee. Wonder why). 

And in TRUE Marvel fashion, they quietly swept it under the rug. They claimed that interest in Moon Knight had died and they would not continue to write for a comic no one would read. 

He had a few small background parts now and then, and fans continued to ask if they were going to bring him back. 

It wasn't till 2014 under "Marvel Now" (a new age under Marvel) that he was brought back under Ellis. 

Now, a LOT of people hate on Ellis. But they have to understand what Ellis had to work with. Where Ellis was coming from with Moon Knight, and WHY he had to do it so subtly like he did. 

So let me show you WHY my appreciation for Ellis runs so deep. 

You may have noticed something. I called Bendis an "esteemed writer". 

So who is Brian Michael Bendis? 

This is the man that is KNOWN for his work in the Avengers. 

He was the man that relaunched the Avengers franchise in 2000. Marvel was NOT doing well in the late 90s. DC was on the rise and kicking ass. 

I'm not saying this man saved Marvel comics... But he certainly brought the comic fans back in. 

Secret War, House of M, Secret Invasion, Siege, Age of Ultron, Avengers Disassembled...

These are BIG name runs that he wrote storylines for and was in charge of. These are big name events! 

You all know by now I hate events and tie-in cross-overs (There are two notable exceptions, but those are not Moon Knight related), but I have to appreciate them when they actually do make the comics thrive. 

Also, it takes a LOT to keep these events organized. And it takes a good writer to write for large groups like the Avengers. 

This man also created some very well known comic characters. Riri Williams, Jessica Jones, and...MILES MORALES. 

THAT'S RIGHT. This man gave us MILES! 

He's won five Eisner Awards. 

He is GOOD at what he does. He's god at writing teams. He keeps the dialogue smooth and flowing. He keeps track of all the characters. 

But... You'll notice something.... 

All those incredibly big name events and series? They are teams. They are groups. They are big hitters. They are mostly super powered and work well in teams. 

This brings me to a very big point. 

Just because you are good at one thing, does not make you good at all things. 

And that's where Marvel messed up. 

They happily put Moon Knight into the hands of someone who was used to writing for Captain America and Iron Man. 

You all know by now, or you will soon, Moon Knight is a VERY different sort of hero. 

He has no powers. He has no armor. He’s not super smart and he isn’t a leader. He's just a man. A man with severe trauma. A man with a past. Oh...And he's actually Three men in a white cape pretending to be one fully functioning normal guy and failing at it miserably. In fact, he’s been offered to lead teams MANY times and every time he turned it down. He doesn’t play well with others. Every time he meets up with another character, they start with a fight before they calm down and introduce themselves (one exception was Hilariously the Punisher who happily shook his hand and invited him into his chopper). 

So I can’t be angry at Bendis. Bendis even admitted that he didn’t know who Moon Knight was when he was given the comic. He had to do some quick catching up. 

The pressure was on, he didn’t understand the character, and there was a PUSH to introduce Moon Knight to the wider Marvel universe. 

So I can’t 100% fault Bendis for the trash heap he gave us. He certainly isn’t Bemis, who is just an overall terrible person. 

But I CAN fault him for not doing his research and not treating the major themes that tend to historically follow Moon Knight with respect. The biggest one being: Mental Health. 

So if Aaron was a disaster of religious failure, Bemis was a disaster of hate crimes and racism, then Bendis is a disaster of the mind. 

Without further rambling, let’s get into it!! 

Issue #1 (same image as up top). 

Title page as the standard blurb on who the character is. 

"Left to die outside an Egyptian temple, mentally unstable mercenary Marc Spector believes himself to have been resurrected by the ancient deity Khonshu to be his supernatural avatar on Earth. When night falls, Spector dons the mantle of Khonshu and fights the darkness as Moon KNight." 

Not a great start people. 'dons the mantle of Khonshu'. This is literally all Bendis knew about Moon Knight going in. If this is the only description you have to go on, you are not going to have a good time. 

We open with a very Kirk Russel looking version of Marc Spector out in the desert with a dramatic retelling of his fight with Bushman. 

What's interesting is that Bushman calls him "Lockley". 

They have their shoot out, Marc is shot and Bushman leaves him saying "You were the best there ever was." 

Doing his usual, Marc crawls through the desert to the Moon Temple. 

He goes to the body of the dead Professor (Marlene's father) and wishes to make it up to him despite dying. He then goes to the Khonshu statue and begs before dying. 

Marlene sobs over him, calling him "Jake". 

The scene ends and it's to be continued. 

Fade to black. Executive Producer Marc Spector. 

Yeah... Marc went to Hollywood and made a show about Moon Knight. 

You see, up to this point, no one realy knew what Steven was doing to make them money. In the 80s he gave to charities, set up entertainment things like Ballet and museums and things, and played the stocks a bit. 

Later he became a producer. 

Then, when the writers all decided they didn't want to write Steven anymore because he was 'boring' he turned into Marc and Marc headed the financial aspect of things and became the producer of the shows. 

So here we see Marc making the show about himself and using the name Lockley so no one knows it's about him. 

He...He's trying. 

So the name of the show is "Legend of the Khonshu". 

This is the pilot episode and they are at a launch party. 

We see Marc hanging with a pretty blond that is NOT Marlene. At this point she’s left him. 

"Is it true that you were a really for real mercenary?"

"Well, let's just say... I have learned I'm not the first person in the world to transition their career into Hollywood after a...Less than honorable start." 

He gets a call and the person asks if he can go outside. 

This is odd. And it should have been my first clue something was wrong. 

But we'll get there. 

We've got Captain America, Spider-man, and Wolverine asking for Moon Knight. 

And while Moon Knight has been an Avenger off and on and off and on at this point, he also has never been well trusted or liked by the big guys like Cap and Iron man. 

Cap tells him that "SHIELD's still tryig to gather formal intel, but there's been a rather substantial migration of criminal activity from the East coast to here. Right here in your new backyard. We need you to go to work." 

(this was the reason for the West Coast Avengers, but that's a different run). 

"Substatial Migration of criminal activity?" 

"Maybe if you weren't so busy making crap TV--" Wolverine gets uppity. 

"Have you seen the show, Wolverine? It's actually pretty good." 

"Yeah, that's what I got time for, watching you sell your soul entirely." 

"Good news, though, I'm getting paid a fortune for it." 

Cap breaks up the banter and Marc asks for details. 

Spider-Man explains that too many super heros lived on the east coast and too many villains were trying to be the kingpin of New York. So now they figure they can go to L.A. 

"But now we have you here." "Me?" "You made L.A. your territory." "By living here?" 

This has always been an issue. Ever since it became known that Moon Knight had mental issues, all the Avengers have always treated him like “the crazy one”. Especially since he’s the ONLY superhero that is publicly open about his mental health issues. 

He’s even come out to the Avengers as having D.I.D and introduced Jake and Steven to them (see Spider-man encounters that was mostly used for LOLs). What’s interesting is seeing which heroes react in what ways. 

I could do a whole breakdown on the response of each Avenger to those with mental health issues. From Captain America’s don’t ask don’t tell attitude that stems from being brought up in the 30s-40s to Punisher who takes it in stride and doesn’t care. 

So they came all the way out to LA from NY to put him to work. Brings to mind the old meme: This could have been an email.

Cap reminds him that he's an Avender now and part of a team. "If things get to be too much...You send for us. Give the call. We're here for you. That's what being an Avender means. You're not alone." 

Problems with that: 1. The Avengers are in NY. He's in LA. That's a few hours away even by Helicarrier. 2. To quote Sassy Steven Grant from MCU "Yeah that's sort of like the problem, innit?" 

But ignore that. Look at this ART. 

We head over to a warf where two criminal looking thugs are waiting by a van. 

They're having some friendly banter about their job and their boss. 

"Ask yourself this: This job you have--Who do you think had it before you? Where is that person now? Exactly how dead are they? And which one of the, I don't know, X-Men do you think maybe killed them?" 

"I see your point. I just don't agree with it. I want to do the job we were hired to do and then I want to go home." 

I do love some good hench men banter. 

While they banter, Moon Knight sneaks around up top to watch as a ship comes in. 

A very large man gets off the ship and demands to know which one of them has "Mr. Hyde's Money?" 

They don't have money. They were just ordered to pick up what's on the boat. The man demands money for the thing on the boat. 

He threatens to crush them to death, they threaten to shoot him. 

The giant man lifts them up and smashes their heads together. 

Alright, time for Moon Knight to swing into action. He first gets his attention with a crescent dart that cuts his cheek. 

Just gonna put this right here….

Our buddy Moony has fought many giant strong men before. He's good at holding his own but he's also REAL good at getting utterly annihilated. 

He gets in a few good hits but then gets thrown in the harbor. 

Then a truck is chucked at him. 

His cape gets caught on the front wheels and the truck drags him down into the harbor. (He ends up in the water so much)

One of the thugs from earlier is still alive and he chooses this time to shoot the giant in the arm. 

Unfortunately this upsets the giant who comes over and crushes his skull. 

Disturbing. But the it's done well with the art style. You see him place his boot then a black frame that says "CRUNCH". This is how you censor but imply the violence. Unlike in Bemis' run that just shows you all the gore in the worst way. 

It's amazing how much better I can look at this in comparison. 

But an aside: I enjoyed this run until it got to a VERY specific point. We'll get there together, friends. Until we get to that point, we're going to enjoy the art and have fun with our buddy Moony. 

Big guy gets ack on the boat and starts to drive away. Suddenly he's whacked in the head by a fire extinguisher. 

We see a cloakless/hoodless/maskless Moon Knight wailing on him. 

Marc heads down into the cabin thing while the giant is dstunned. He wants to know what the cargo is. 

Ohhh hey.... Okay. 

So… There are some of you reading this that know exactly what that is. And there are a LOT of you that don’t know other comics or movies and have no idea what that is. 

That’s an Ultron. Tony Stark did Tony Stark things and created a super power AI system called Ultron. And in classic AI comic book fashion, it immediately took over EVERYTHING and set out to destroy the world. They eventually defeated it, but it keeps popping up. You’ll find hidden saved files in old computers, SHIELD helicarriers often find ultron files in their systems. Sometimes you find one of the mass produced robots that still carry the potential to boot up and spread the virus around again. 

Marc picks up the Ultron skull, wondering why they have a dead Ultron. 

It's at this point that he realizes he just knocked out the only one on the boat that was driving. 

He's doing fine. 

He gets knocked off the boat again and clings to a rope hanging off it. At this point the boat is illuminated by something from above. 

Giant man wakes up and yells at the sky about "you better have my money!!" 

"You should have thought about that before you killed my employees." 

The boat blows up and Marc manages to swim away with the Ultron head. 

Back at his place, he calls the Avengers to give them an update. 

Again, I want to remind everyone that the Avengers are based out of New York and Marc is in LA. Are they going to fly out there to look at an Ultron head? It's a 5 and a half hour non stop flight on a regular airline. 

So...This is another clue that something is wrong here. 

They debate on why someone wants an Ultron head. 

It IS made out of adamantium alloy, which is very valuable. 

I also want to say that I love how they draw Marc here. 

So Marc, Captain America, Spider-Man, and Wolverine stand around staring at the Ultron head for a minute. 

"You got a good look at the mystery power?" 

"Nope. Not from lack of trying, though." 

"Hey, Man, you went toe-to-toe with Mr. Hyde." 

"Barely." 

"That's pretty impressive, my friend." 

"I think I broke a rib." 

In trying to figure out who the new power player is, he decides that they at least have one up. 

"Which means he's looking for me like we're looking for him. I'm glad you guys are here. We have our work cut out for us. This is going to take more than just Moon Knight." 

This is heart breaking to hear once you actually know where this run is going. And he isn't alone. Where are Jake and Steven? Why are they banished? 

I know that Jake doesn't travel. Jake never leaves New York. I've never really explored why that is. But in Moench's OG run, Jake NEVER left New York. 

And writers always leave Steven out. No one since Moench has been able to handle him to this point. 

So here we are, Marc Spector making home in a new place and Jake and Steven aren’t there. Then the Avengers show up randomly and tell him to start being Moon Knight again and that he is needed. 

And then we are left with this image, which is our biggest reveal that maybe… Maybe something isn’t right here… 

So what do we know in the first issue? We can’t trust Marc’s perception of things. 

We also have yet to actually address Marc’s D.I.D. They’ve only casually mentioned him being ‘mentally disturbed’. He’s built up what looks like a nice comfortable life for himself in LA and here the Avengers come in (supposedly) and put him back into position to ruin this life. 

We know Marlene left him. And his head-mates are being pretty quiet. We can only speculate that we are meant to believe that the ‘Avengers’ are only in his head. 

There’s more going on here than Ultron. And in issue one, I’m optimistic. I love the art, Moon Knight is being Moon Knight. But you do get the sense that something is brewing and all you can do is hope that it’s not bad. We have no REASON to think it will be bad at this point. We’ve not had an atrociously bad run yet. We’ve only had mismanagement. 

Issue #2. 

DAMN fine art, Maleev. Look at the white! The face is a little creepy, but look at that cape! 

Title page has the usual blurb and a recap. 

"Marc Spector has resurfaced in Los Angeles as the creator and producer of the wildly successful TV show 'Legends of the Khonshu'. As Moon Knight, he intercepts an illegal delivery of an Ultron robot body. The mastermind behind it is unknown, but the battle is fierce and Moon Knight barely escapes. 

Guiding him through this new mystery, Moon Knight is supported by his new multiple Personalities in the guises of Spider-man, Wolverine and Captain America." 

YEP. There it is everyone! 

2011. WAY past the point of DSM defining things and research absolutely could have been done. 

But it wasn't done. They had zero interest in informing or teaching the audience about mental health. All they wanted was a gimik to lure you in and say "Look how crazy he is!" And now he's got "NEW" personalities that are also well known super heros! 

*SIGH* Issue one was so hopeful. They could have gone so many other routes. 

As I mentioned above, Marc has set himself up to be alone. When has Marc Spector ever done well when left alone to his own devises? 

Marc has set himself up for massive failure and is on his way for another break down. 

But they could have left him alone. Shown him being alone. Shown him struggling alone. They could have then re-introduced Steven and Jake and well....LEMIRE. 

Anyways, let's see what happens in issue 2. 

We open with Moon Knight, Spider-man, Wolverine, and Captain America overlooking the city.

I love when they get carried away with his cape. It’s like his cape is an entity of itself. Look at that majesty. 

Marc has intel and they are deciding on who gets to go investigate. 'Wolverine' decides to go in. 

Marc tells him no. "This is my city now. That's the whole point. I'll go." 

"I think you should go in undercover first. Stake it out. Lock your target" -Captain America. 

"You WOULD think that. I say dive in and tear the place up. That's the only language they understand. It's the only language they respect." - Wolverine. 

Cap just wants to shut down the operation. 

"A grenade can shut that place down. We're aiming higher. We're aiming for the person who thinks this city is up for grabs and thinks they need an ultron." 

'Spider-man' volunteers. No one would expect him. 

Moon Knight notes that "It's not like I can stop him." 

We head to a sort of strip club sort of thing. The manager woman is in charge of info. A lot of powerful men come to her club/bar and these men often let slip information to the girls that help them 'relax.' She pays the girls for collected information. 

She finishes her little speech and Spider-man interrupts. 

"Did I miss the audition? I have a dream, you know. A dream to dance!" 

"Get out of here or I'll kill you." 

"I'm sorry, I don't care for the way you're speaking to me--I'd like to speak to the manager." 

So they way they have it, the “Spider-Man personality” is in charge and the others watch and let him act. He has the mouthiness of the REAL spider-man, but he also lacks the strength and acrobatics. This puts him at a disadvantage, as he’s expected to do the same things, but can’t. This honestly is going to go for Wolverine and Captain America too. Three people that distinctly have super powers and skills that Moon Knight and MARC do not have! 

An interesting solution is that Spider-man uses web shooters. 

And THIS 'Spider-man has hidden Moon Knight's truncheons in the shooters so they get hit by the web and also whacked pretty hard too. 

What is so frustrating is that I'd just rather watch Moon Knight fight the bad guys and not 'fake spider-man'. 

And the boss lady gets hit by the web shooters with the hidden truncheons inside. She instantly knows "That's not Spider-man." 

She starts to fight back, asking who he is. 

"Who are you?" 

"Who am I? I? Me? People have heard of me! The big question today is how far down the criminal food chain are you?" 

She starts to kick his ass. 

She puts him in a choke hold demanding to know who he is and who sent him. 

Marc and Wolverine start to argue inside the head space. Wolverine wants to step in but Moon Knight wants to give Spider-man a chance. 

The mask is ripped off and they start to black out. Wolverine steps in. 

The webshoots extend out the retractable claws. 

Just as he gets the upper hand, one of the stripper girls tasers him, knocking him down. 

He fights through it. The taser doesn't really affect him. 

He webs her and the main boss lady picks up the fight. 

Captain America is not impressed with the fight. "You're not learning anything and you've made your point. Wrap it up." 

Just as he starts to get the upper hand, one of the bounces shoots them in the shoulder. 

He doesn't heal like Wolverine would. 

He blacks out. 

See, my issue is that the writing team doesn’t know anything about Moon Knight. In fact, they know so little that they think he’s boring. So they bring in familiar characters in an effort to ‘make him interesting’. But Moon Knight is NOT those characters. So you end up with a cluster of a whole bunch of mischaracterization on BOTH sides. You got Wrong Moon Knight and you got Wrong Spider-man. 

Boss lady tells the other girls to go home and not to talk about anything that just happened. 

She says that their BOSS will want to talk to this guy and find out who he is. 

They go to move Marc and suddenly one of the stripper girls attacks. 

She knocks out the bouncer then knocks out the boss lady. 

Marc wakes up much later, patched up in a bed. 

Mystery lady tells him "You ruined my cover, Moon Knight." 

She tells him that they have mutual friends like Steve Rogers and Matt Murdock. 

Her name? Maya Lopez. Hey! It's Echo! 

"I was an Avenger for all of 44 seconds." 

I...I've never read anything with Echo. I actually have a comic of her team up with Dare Devil waiting in my stack of comics to read. 

She was supposed to get her own MCU show on Disney Plus. 

I also know that when Greer met up with Marc in the MacKay run, Echo was the one that warned her about what it was like to be with Marc Spector. 

I ALSO know that they call her Echo because she's deaf. 

That is the extent of what I know about Echo. 

Let's learn together! 

She tells Marc to look at her when he talks. He figures out it's because she's reading lips.

"You're deaf?" 

"I know what's wrong with me. What exactly is wrong with you?" She asks as she holds up the Spider-man mask. 

Back with boss lady, we see her talking to her own boss. 

She explains that she once fought the Black Widow and Captain America. 

"This guy--This guy tonight knows how to fight. I know when someone has been trained. This guy--" 

They talk about how they looked up Spiderman and found him still in New York. They also figured out that the one they were fighting was "Moon Knight dressed as Spider-man." 

"And acting like a crazy animal." 

"Moon Knight." 

"Or a crazy guy who thinks he's both. In this world...Never underestimate a good crazy." 

The big mystery boss knows Moon Knight. He's faced him rescently apparently. 

"He has something of mine and I need it back."

He approves her to hire a team and hunt Moon Knight down. 

END ISSUE. 

Ya'll...There's so much going on here. My mantra? "At least it isn't BEMIS.'' That's not a good plug. 'Better than Bemis'. That bar is so low that it's buried six feet under. 

Also the introduction of Echo is going to get messy. She’s there to be the ‘voice of reason’ to his ‘insanity’, but she’s also there to potentially be a love interest. 

Lemme do a little google search real quick. 

Okay... She's Native American of the Cheyenne nation. Created in 1999. She first appeared as Ronin in 2005 by Brian Michael Bendis. (That explains why she's in this). 

After Kingpin killed her father, he adopted her. Fisk pitted her against Daredevil. She also had a relationship with Matt Murdock cause of course she did. (Everyone has slept with Murdock. EVERYONE.) 

Her abilities are photographic reflexes, much like that of Taskmaster. Meaning she can learn people's fighting styles. 

Okay. She's interesting. 

Makes me sad that she’s just going to be used in this comic to give the reader a point of stability and also a love interest. 

Issue #3. 

I like the soft colors in the art. And at first glance you get excited because “Bullseye!” And I love a good Bullseye run. But then you notice that jaw line looks very familiar and also he’s holding a familiar looking crescent and you realize what’s about to happen and you’re just disappointed again….. 

ALRIGHT. We open on Marc driving a car and making a call to Maya (Echo). 

"Hi Maya...This is Marc Spector." 

"I'm sorry?" 

"From last night." 

"What do you want?" 

"You believe it's me...Cool." 

He spoke to their 'mutual' friends who vouched for her. (I bet Murdock vouched for her). 

"If you're not still mad at me for blowing your cover and maybe ruining your life, I thought mabe we could get together and discuss, um, strategy." 

Sure. Sure Marc... Strategy. 

He invites her to eat. She turns him down. 

"I think you might be insane, and I have had enough insane men in my life to last me." 

[....]

"I think you're thinking that last night was indicative of my overall behavior and personality." 

"It wasn't?" 

"It probably was, but I don't think that--" 

"I'm hanging up." 

"I need help, Maya. And you do too." 

We have some serious discrimination going on. The constant use of outdated language to lesson Marc's credibility and constant second guessing him. 

Marc gets to the studio to find his assistant there waiting with a list of issues. 

The usual studio stuff. 

Props have issues, there's calls, and "they still haven't cast the French Guy." 

"Not French." 

"I thought--"

"He doesn't HAVE to be French. I said he was based on a French person." 

(Does this mean that I cacn still dream of Pedro Pascal as Frenchie?) 

Anyways... He heads in to a tech person named Buck. 

Marc hands him the Ultron head. He asks him to take a peak at it and let him know if it's legit. 

We head back to three months ago when Marc was setting up the show and casting people. 

Marc had asked for a list of "soldier of fortune consultants". 

Marc starts to look through the files. 

Honestly, considering his past and connections, he probably knows most of the old timers personally. 

He finds one that makes him pause and he tells his assistant that he wants an interview. 

Turns out Buck was that guy. 

Marc asks Buck how long he's been an Agent of SHIELD. 

He recognized the name of a company that Buck listed as work history on his resume. 

A company owned by SHIELD and stationed in Latveria (Home of Dr. Doom). 

Buck denies it. It's all classified, after all. 

Marc tells Buck that "I need a guy who knows weapons and armory. I need a guy who thinks outside the box and knows not to ask questions. I need someone I can trust with my life." 

Of course Buck is cagey. Wants to know how Marc got access to the files and what not. 

"Do you know your super heroes?" 

"Uh...Sure." 

Marc tells him. We don't hear what he says. 

"I...I, uh... Never heard of you." 

"Are you serious?" 

"Just messing with you." 

Yeah, there was a long time when NO ONE knew who Moon Knight was. Somehow all the bad guys and street people knew him, but NONE of the heros knew him. Just called him "that crazy moon guy." 

Marc hires the man as his 'weapons expert' for the show. He also asks the man to work on making special tools and weapons for his 'special needs'. 

Here’s Buck at home relaxing. 

Oh hey! Bullseye! 

So we see "Bullseye" threaten to torture and cut up Buck if he doesn't tell him who Marc Spector is. 

Buck refuses to talk. 

Bullseye threatens him again and Buck figures it out. "Mister Spector? Is that---Are you--?" 

Firstly, where did Marc even get that outfit? And the spike dagger. Bullseye got the spike daggers when he killed Electra (Daredevil comics my old beloved dumpster fire that you were). 

Marc apologizes and Buck punches him. He beats on him a moment, pretty pissed off. 

"You know I could disarm you and end this in a second, right?" 

"You never touch me!" 

"Come on. Compared to what they did when you joined SHIELD this was nothing." 

"I don't care if you think I--"

"You know I had to." 

[....] 

"Man, how crazy are you?" 

There it is again. And having Marc dress up and mimic Bullseye's manners and expressions is an interesting choice when we already know that he's dealing with being Spider-man, Wolverine, and Captain America too. He's plaing with fire and I can see where Bendis is going to take this and I don't like it. 

And this brings us to the present with Buck analyzing the Ultron head. 

Turns out to be a real Ultron head. 

"The head of the most powerful artificial intelligence known to man cut off from its regenerating power source--" 

Buck asks if they should take it to Tony Stark. 

Marc doesn't like Tony Stark. This is fair. Tony has never exactly been fair to Marc. 

Apparently Hank Pym also had a hand in creating Ultron. That hangs together. (I am not a fan of comics hank pym. He's not a good person). 

Marc tells Buck he's going to give it to Steve Rogers when they are done with it. 

Buck keeps telling him to get rid of it. WHoever the LA kingpin is, he's going to come looking for it either for parts, the dangerous tech, or to plug it back in and sick it on the world again. 

Marc keeps brushing him off. 

"Meaning that you should get rid of it immediately...Was my point...That you completely missed. Because you're crazy." 

So we head back to boss lady, AKA "Snapdragon". She's talking to a group of assassins for hire. A group called "Night Shift". 

Her boss wants to have a chat with Moon Knight and she wants to know who he is. 

END ISSUE. 

Yeah, you guys can see the growing motif of this run, can’t you? “Wow look how crazy he is!” And it’s going to get worse. 

If Aaron was a problem because of the lack of religious sensitivity and research, then Bendis is a problem because of how he handles the topic of Mental Health. (Bemis was just a problem. Every problem forever. Too many to name.) 

So let’s head into Issue #4. 

Maleev did all his own covers for the runs. Not a common thing to do. I just love how all the covers have such striking colors and how the cape and cowl are always just so BRIGHT white. It’s pretty, okay? 

Alright, we open up on Avengers Mansion somewhere in New York. Carol Daners answers the phone (Captain Marvel). 

Maya Lopez (Echo) is calling them. 

She's doing a check in to find out what the Avengers think of Moon Knight. 

Which, fine. If you're going to work with a guy or potentially be interested in them, you check in with your friends that know them. 

But ALSO...The Avengers have always been very discriminatory against Moon Knight. 

They don't trust him because they think he's dangerous because they think he's insane. 

They don't ever make ANY effort to understand what his illness/problems are. They never look into his disorder. They never look into Marc's PTSD. They never take the time to talk him through things. 

Much like they never really accept or try to deal with the Punisher's PTSD. He's always just an evil murdering man. 

Maybe this is why Marc and Frank have always gotten along. 

Spiderman sometimes is kind to him and works with him, but there is always the background joke about Moon Knight being "Loony". 

The only one that really gets on with Moon Knight is Ben "The Thing" from FF4. And that's because they're both Jewish and Ben needs more Jewish friends. 

ANYWAYS. She asks about Moon Knight. 

"I'm asking--How crazy is he on a scale of one to...crazy?"

Oh! This brings me to the well known panel that you should all recognize!!!! 

Now you have the context for that panel! 

Speaking of discrimination...

Echo calls people all the time. And each time, the person on the other side will go "Wait, how are you using the phone if you're deaf?" 

She has a speech to text function that puts their words on her computer screen. 

But no one thinks of things that are meant to help those with hearing disabilities. They instantly just think "She's deaf. She can't use the phone! She must not be deaf!" 

Ahhh...Avengers... 

Back in LA, we find MArc waiting at a hot dog stand where he invited Echo, waiting to see if she'll even show up. 

He sits there with 'Captain America', 'Spider-man', and 'Wolverine'. 

Wolverine tells him that Marc doesn't need her. 

Spider-man thinks it's just a team-up. 

"This ain't about a team-up. You know it and he knows it." 

"Why can't it be both?" 

"Because it just complicates it all." 

"Why can't he have a nice girl?" 

"Because the damn moon god Khonshu told him he brought him back from the dead so he'd make the world more livable.

Not make crap TV shows and date third-string Avengers." 

"Why can't he do ALL those things?" 

(I'm a spider-man fan and I love when he is the young innocent one that just wants people to be happy. And considering that THIS is not the real Spider-man, but just Marc's perspective of Spider-man, it makes sense that Spider-man be seen as the one that doesn't understand and just wants to do his best and make people happy. See, THAT is an interesting take and psychological analysis. But Bendis isn't aiming for that or going to explore it... Damn it.) 

Captain America reminds them that Echo knows more about what's going on than they do and they need her info. 

"The woman's been under-cover in the LA underworld. She knows more than us. We need her." 

And Maya shows up. 

"I must be out of my mind." 

"Oh, come on..." 

"Out of my mind." 

So he asks her what she knows and how long she's been undercover. 

She tells him to go first. 

"Listen, if you're here, you checked on me like I checked on you. You know I'm not the idiot you're acting like you want me to think you think I am." 

"What?" 

"Let's just cut the sass down and have a real conversation. Wouldn't that be nice, if two people who do what we do had a real conversation?" 

"It's hard...It's hard to trust...sometimes..." 

"I know. Believe me, I know." 

They talk a bit about Marc's show and her position in the strp club. 

As they talk, a sharp dressed man shows up and comments on what a cute cupple they make. 

"What a cute couple." 

"Excuse me?" 

"I SAID you're a cute couple. What are you, deaf? Oh yeah, you are, aren't you...Eco." 

She asks if Marc knows who this man is. 

"You see him too?" Nice Marc. Subtle. 

The man introduces himself as "Tick Tock." He's a member of the Night Shift. 

One of the guys has a pretty cool design. Reminds me of the Classic old old comic/radio show "The Shadow". 

The lady's design is....Why is there always a naked lady with tape barely covering up all of her bits? How is that efficient?

Tick Tock claims to be able to see the immediate future. 

He sais that in one future they fight and it doesn't end well for anyone. 

Marc and Maya don't have powers, but the Night Shift members do. 

'Wolverine' decides he isn't putting up with this shit. The flake claws come out and they elect to fight. 

The Moon Knight cape comes out and he and Echo start to fight back.

It's a pretty good fight. Echo saves his tail a few times and he takes the hits easily. 

The Wolverine claws come out a few times and make a mess. 

They take out the baddies but the cops are on the way. Cops usually don’t like Vigilantes and this is LA, where they aren’t used to the New York crew. 

And….The only cop that ever liked Moon Knight was Detective Flint. 

END ISSUE. WOO! Blazing through! 

What gets me is that this HAD the potential to be interesting. It could have been an interesting run! Why did he have to make up the Avengers? Why not just embrace Moon Knight and let him be himself? He’s interesting enough without made up Avengers! 

What’s more, you only got three of them in. And the three of them are only bits of themselves based on what Marc knows of them! 

So you have the angry and eager to fight Wolverine, who could have just been Marc. You have the up tight analytical and reasonable Captain America, who could have been Steven! Then you have the heart who is gentle and wants to give people a chance but is still tough Spider-man….JAKE! 

This run could have been FAR better if it wasn’t the Avengers, but Moon Knight wrestling with himself. Having all three of them trying to suddenly make sense of what it means to work together and coming up with their own fighting styles. 

…..HERE’S ISSUE #5. 

I actually don’t like this cover. The colors are nice. The art still is on point. But I just really don’t like this cover.

So the cops show up and instantly go "WE GOT MOON KNIGHT!" 

Yeah... Most of the cops don't know 'what a Moon Knight' is. 

The internal conversation is Spider-man wants them to run. Captain America tells them that they are an Avenger and should explain things to them. 

"Officers, I am here to cooperate. I will be more than happy to tell you exactly what just happened. I am actually, believe it or not, one of the good guys, if you'll just let me--" 

He does try to calmly explain to the officers what's going on, but they start to get rough and push him around.  What gets me is that Moon Knight IS trying to be reasonable. He tries to talk calmly. To explain things. He tries to be peaceful. 

It never goes well for him. No one listens to him. No one lets him explain. They assume the worse of him. 

Now Wolverine is pissed and wants to get involved. 

Cap and Wolverine start yelling at one another and Moon Knight is not having a good trip. 

One of the cops says he's going to sell the pictures of Moon Knight getting arrested for tons. 

Wolverine wins the argument and Moon Knight starts to fight and breaks free. 

The cops attempt to bring Echo in and she puts up a little fight then gets tazed. 

Yeah so we get lots of scenes of them yelling at Marc. 

They yell at him for leaving Echo behind. But Echo fights the police off and steals one of the cop cars. 

Moon Knight follows and joins up. 

I can’t fault the comic for the action sequences. They do have a good balance. (Unlike in Bemis where everyone is either just standing there grinning like idiots or it’s chaos and you can’t tell what’s going on except that there is gore). 

The banter and conversations are also well managed. Coming from the Bemis run, where every other panel was just a WALL of exposition that made no sense, I appreciate the balance of conversation, action, and stillness. So, points to Bendis and Maleev on this one. 

They park the car and have a small argument. 

She blames him for bringing 'madness' into her life. 

He points out that the Night Shift was actually looking for HER and that they were tracking her, so it's her fault for the madness. 

She agrees. "So that makes us even." 

She can't go home. The police and bad guys know who she is now. 

He tells her to come to his home. Smooth. 

They have a moment and he kisses her. 

She punches him in the face. 

A lot. 

I won't make you squint. 

"Hey! Listen I just thought..." 

Gets beat up. 

"Will you marry me? 

Look at me...Brave guy making jokes to a deaf girl behind her back." 

Alright we head back to Buck. He's at a club. He gets a phone call and heads out. 

He's gotta go pick up Marc, who is sadly walking home in his Moon Knight skivvies. 

"Hi, Buck." 

"Mister Spector." 

"Thanks for coming to get me." 

"What are you doing in an alley?" 

"I didn't start in the alley." 

"Who used to do this before me?" 

"A guy." 

"Where is he?" 

"He got sick of me." 

"Is he alive?" 

"I think so. I hope so." 

Frenchie will forever be a sad place in my heart. I miss him and I hope he is alive and well. 

We head to the police station where Tik Tok of the Night Shift is being interrogated. He's being interviewed by a former New York cop. He didn't like the Supervillain and Superhero business so he went to LA to get away from it. 

As you can imagine, all this recent comotion doesn't have him very happy. 

He wants to make sure the whole lot of the Night Shift stays behind bars forever. 

But he gives him one opportunity to give up some info and walk out. 

"Who hired you? Who sent you after Moon Knight? You give me a name... You walk out of here." 

Tik Tok thinks it over. 

"You don't, and I will laugh the day I hear that the punisher finds his way into the prison you're rotting in. Just say the name."

Tik Tok starts to talk when suddenly a lawyer comes in and tells Tik Tok that he's being sprung. 

The lawyer tells him that they can't hold any of the Night Shift because the police let them be beaten by 'drug addict maniacs'. 

Tik Tok walks out and the police guy is pissed. 

"I hope you know what you're doing, Moon Knight. Because it's all on you." 

END ISSUE. 

So… You see my frustration setting in here? This comic run has SO much potential. There is so much more they could be doing and instead they are taking the “HE’S SO CRAZY” route. The art is good. The pacing is good. The Dialogue is pretty evenly placed. Even the overarching plot of the LA kingpin and Ultron head is not bad. It’s just… Why did it have to be Moon Knight? 

When you can replace the main character with any other marvel character and still have it be the same, this isn’t a Moon Knight issue. And when the writer is so used to writing for other characters that they end up making it about those other characters, they shouldn’t be given the Moon Knight comic and should just stick with what they are good at! 

….At least it isn’t Bemis… 

Alright. Part two is coming soon! I’m going to start kicking these out fast. I got a timeline to get through if I’m going to hit all my marks by the new year! Stay with me people! We got this! 

PART TWO HERE.

[bunnytalksf1]

spanish gp roundup

Very overdue post, considering evryones already at austria, but who cares.

Honestly, what a race!

let's start with qualifying, because i did not watch q3 live, and i didnt do a roundup post like i usually do.

Ferrari have not lost pace. it LOOKS like they have, but whats actually happened is that mercedes woke up and decided to be a serious team, and mclaren are now faster than redbull. Perez gave Verstappen a huge tow, only to finish p2 to norris. Piastri made a huge mistake on his last flying lap to get p10 - promoted to p9 after perez's penalty. So essentially the gap from ferrari to RBR is the same, but more cars are IN that gap - both mercs, and mclaren. their race pace is probs right up there with RBR, but the tyre window they'r working with is incredibly small, and they're out of position. p5 and p6 is shocking, and disappointing after looking so good in aus and monaco in particular, but also in jeddah, etc.

due to not watching live i didnt catch the majority of the mid-backfield. hulkenberg again putting the haas in q2, both vcarbs out in q1, which is hugely disappointing.

onto the race.

GEORGE FUCKING RUSSELL?! Whatta move. singlehandedly made my respect for him grow by like 5x. It was shortlived (the RBR still clearly has racepace on the merc) but god. George and Alex both being contenders for overtake of the year rn as they should. He should've got a dotd for that move alone LMAO.

Lando bottling a pole start... yikes. His starts havent been great for a little while now, and he seems to not really know what to do with pole. the zero percent conversion rate... god. It was entirely preventable, too. The move on max was stupid and he got laughed at by lewis and max for defending it in the pressers. The mclaren is faster than the RB but max is still behind its wheel, and he showed us all who he was again this weekend. Unless Lando can shape up, mclaren are unlikely to challenge consistently for wins, since i am of the opinion piastri, although strong, will not have the race pace to fight a) verstappen b) norris in the same car c) leclerc.

Ferrari. No words. Strat was shocking. Need to study carlos sainz under a microscope to figure out where he gets his ego from. Probably going to do a seperate post on them later tonight, but the car (under leclerc) could have podiumed from p5, but they fucked him majorly in the first stint with a) the totally unnecessary contact and b) leaving sainz out front, who was slower.

piastri climbed back up, great race from him. again, i did not watch the race live, i was only listening. so. i missed most of the stuff. perez made up a few places. no safety cars or yellows.

mercedes' race pace isnt bad either. its probably worse than the ferrari's, but if they keep qualifying badly, then their current race pace is fine (although from what I've seen, I think leclerc is locking himself in th sim until he starts getting pole again so).

Overall im excited. Everyone is so, so close going into Austria.

[thesafewaystobereckless]

Did anyone care about Nightbane? A comparison to Nickelback

I'm not gonna lie, I enjoy discourse. I've skimmed parts of Lightlark and Nightbane, but just wasn't engaged enough to keep reading. Big thanks to my local library for enabling me to do that 💪

What I was looking forward to was the slew of vids from booktubers dissecting Nightbane like they did Lightlark. While there were a few, like the amazing Crowcaller. Reads with Rachel, and James Tullos, their videos just haven't popped off in the algorithm like their Lightlark videos did. This isn't because YouTube doesn't love a good sequel though.

I think a lot of people were just immeasurably disappointed by Lightlark to even care about the sequel, let alone the discourse surrounding it. Everything is terrible all the time and we're surrounded by constant chaos. So, watching a video about a book that is definitely, without a doubt, bad is a chore for a lot of people. While all these videos are entertaining, Nightbane is just Lightlark but with dipping mustards and even more confusing lore.

I think it's like when Nickelback released Get Rollin or No Fixed Address. (I KNOW you forgot these were released; not even Pitchfork reviewed these and they take cash from BMG and Republic ALL THE TIME). Everyone knew Nickelback was kinda mid, and so they just never popped off. However, there was enough "okay" things in early Nickelback that they could survive just being mid enough to where people would begrudgingly put on the next album.

Unfortunately, Lightlark was so profoundly disappointing that she couldn't muster up even close to the same hype as before. I don't think Alex Aster is especially bad. Her writing strength is passable, and people have certainly written worse prose. Her weakness lies in storytelling and cohesiveness. Even with her mid tier prose, had she written and engaging story, she would be beloved in the community. Just like Nickelback. With the help of their producers the pieces are there to write a functional, and even serviceable at times, songs. But, something always falls a bit short due to the delivery.

I have a theory, that if any competent mid 00's artist was tasked with covering Nickelback's most infamous 00's hits, that the cover would be a sensation. Most Nickelback isn't any worse than any mainstream 00's sludge, but what makes it so dislikable is their delivery.

Change the delivery to spare the messenger.

[ladylooch]

Letters in Your Last Name - Chapter 13

A/N: Another fav chapter of mine... what does it say about me that I like the angst so much??

Word Count: 4.6l

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, COVID times

Days without Kevin: 73

Today already feels difficult and I haven’t even left my bed yet. It’s now the end of October and the monotony of COVID has become all consuming. So much so that I find myself living at Felicia and Alex’s more so than mine and Kevin’s apartment. It’s so lonely there and everything reminds me of Kevin being gone. On top of it all, in a normal season, the NHL should have resumed by now. Kevin should be back in Minnesota, but he isn’t. He’s halfway across the world in Scandinavia while I wallow in a pool of self-pity in my brother’s basement bedroom.

I open the world clock app on my iPhone, seeing it is around 3:00pm in Sweden. I haven’t heard from Kevin yet today, but I know he had a long day of training scheduled. I have some time before I am meeting Nick at his gym. He owns his own gym and personal training business, but due to COVID had to lay off most of his support staff. When Alex and Felicia don’t need me for the kids, I step in and work for free so he has some coverage when he’s working with clients.

I slowly pull myself out of bed, even though I’d rather just stay under the covers and fall back into a bored sleep. I stretch and pad up the stairs to the kitchen to make a cup of hazelnut Nespresso. The house is quiet, meaning the other Stalocks are not home. Again, I’m reminded of the nagging feeling of loneliness expanding in the back of my mind.

My phone buzzes on the kitchen counter and I glance down, seeing a text from Kevin. I open it and a grin breaks out on my face. It’s a selfie of him all sweaty after his work out. His sweaty hair is matted against his forehead but his lips are plumped, extending a kiss to me across the world. He looks so damn good that I feel the urge to take a bite out of my phone. I maneuver to his name and click on the FaceTime button. Maybe a call with him will lighten the weight of the world today.

“Babe!” Kevin calls as he answers. “Hi!” I laugh in response to his excitement. We FaceTime daily but every time he greets me with the same jubilant response.

“Hi Kev.” I murmur to him. I take in the area behind him and can tell he is on a patio at a restaurant. It is loud and I adjust the volume on my phone to accommodate the noise. The picture must have been from earlier in the day as he is seemingly showered and put together now.

“I’m out with some people you know. Guys, say hi to Sam.” Kevin flips the phone so I can see the group he is with. It’s about 10 or so people, including Martin, Ella and Andreas. They all wave excitedly at me and I feel a deep stabbing of both envy and sadness.

“Hi,” I wave at everyone, slapping a fake smile on my face. “Babe, I’ll just call you later.” I say to him, trying to hide my disappointment and sadness. “I thought you were just finishing with practice.”

“No, wait, let’s talk now. I’ll go to the street.” He insists, getting up from his chair. “How are you?”

“Okay, I guess. A little bored.” I say honestly as I prop my phone against the vase on the island so I can be hands free.

“Yeah, not much to do with the new restrictions.” He assumes and I nod in response. He is sitting on a fountain in the middle of the square. I can hear the sounds of people talking and laughing. It does nothing to curb the loneliness churning in my gut. “Well, hopefully things will start to get better soon.”

“I doubt it.” I shrug, thinking of the spiking of numbers we have seen over the last two weeks, thus the new restrictions. If anything, COVID is seemingly getting worse. Again.

“Are you at Alex’s?” Kevin wonders, taking note of the light, maple cabinets behind me. The ones in our kitchen are white.

“Yeah.”

“Babe...” Kevin trails off. He knows I am rarely at our place anymore. Not because I’ve told him but because my sneaky brother keeps sticking his nose into our business. I know Kevin and Alex talk about how I’m doing. I don’t appreciate Alex telling Kevin things that I purposely don't share with my boyfriend. Kevin doesn’t need to know about the days I don’t leave my room.

“I don’t like living there without you.” I cross my arms over my chest. “It’s lonely. And I hear noises at night.”

“You were fine by yourself when I was on the road.” He points out gently.

“That was different. I knew when you were coming home.” Kevin frowns deeply in response to that.

“I guess that’s true.” He nods in agreement, running a hand through his hair and letting out a sigh. “I’m sorry, babe.”

I feel a tightness in my throat at his attempt to soothe me. The more intense things get with COVID, the less likely it feels that Kevin and I will be reunited anytime soon. When I think of that and how much we have been apart, it all sits heavy on my mind. Before Kevin, I had never been in a long distance, international relationship, but I’ve also never been in a relationship that felt this hard. I know we chose this, but being in his arms this summer made me forget the reality of our decision.

Another loud shout of laughter is carried across the square to Kevin’s microphone. He glances in the direction of his group of friends and I can tell he wants to join them again. The jealously churns a deep pain in the pit of my stomach. I feel myself reacting negatively to it in my already weak mental state.

“I just… I keep thinking that maybe it shouldn’t be this hard.” I say to him after taking a long sip of my coffee to prevent the outburst I feel pressing against my tongue.

“What does that mean?” Kevin asks, his head snapping back a bit in surprise.

“Most of our relationship has been spent apart at this point. I keep wondering how we can keep doing this? How are we going to sustain if we are never together?”

“It’s temporary.” Kevin insists to me.

“It doesn’t feel that way to me. It feels like our normal.” Kevin pauses taking in the exasperation on my face. He is slow to respond as he contemplates my words.

“It will get easier. I think we are in the home stretch now.” He finally assures me.

“Of course you think that, Kevin. It already is easy for you. You’re busy and seeing people and living your best life while I’m sitting here just twiddling my thumbs waiting for you to come back.”

“I never asked you to do that. If that is how you’re spending your days, that’s your choice, Sam.” He’s not wrong, but the reality makes my frustration burn brighter.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was a “choice” to miss someone. I thought it just happened when you’re apart from the person you love.”

"So because you’re sitting around waiting for me to come back. I’m supposed to do the same? And if I don’t, I don’t miss you? Come on, babe. That is not fair.”

“You don’t even seem sad that we are apart!” I exclaim as the anger overflows from me. My tone is harsh and my eyebrows are furrowed over my sizzling, green eyes.

“I am sad! I’m counting down every second until we can be together again. But I have goals and dreams that I’m working towards. I don't have time to sit around and be sad.” Kevin is extremely annoyed at this point and he runs his hand through his hair in exasperation. “We both agreed this was what was best before I even left Minnesota. You changing your mind now is pretty selfish.” He finishes with a cold stare.

I gasp in response to his words, my mouth dropping open.

“That was low.” I hiss at him.

“You want to talk about low? You’re accusing me of not missing you or loving you or being sad that we aren’t together. You’ve completely dismissed my feelings and replaced them with whatever insecurity is simmering inside of you today. That’s not even low; it’s just fucking insulting. I gotta go.” He clicks off the FaceTime call before I can even respond. The silence of his hang up is deafening to me in the kitchen. I slide the phone back to the counter, so I do not have to see the stunned look on my face reflecting in the black screen.

So much for feeling better. _ _ _

It’s a quiet day at Nick’s gym, which I’m thankful for. After mine and Kevin’s conversation earlier, I’m not in the mood to plaster on a happy face. I’m scrolling through the rest of the confirmed appointments for today, noticing it’s still a relatively light schedule for Nick. I sigh, again feeling the heaviness of COVID and the impact it has on him and his business. I know nothing of his financial situation, but I can’t imagine the business had funds to be prepared for a pandemic this long.

“Hey, I’m going to grab something to eat from Crisp & Green. Do you want something?” He asks as he grabs his keys from the desk beside me.

“Um… sure.” I say even though I’m not particularly interested in food. “I’ll have the cinco de light. Thanks.”

Nick stands next to me, looking over my shoulder at the schedule.

“Well, that’s not great.” He sighs. He rubs a stressed hand over his buzzed hair and reaches for his bottle of water to take with him. “I’ll be back.”

While he is gone, I make myself useful and go around disinfecting the various cross fit equipment around the space. Disinfecting is a constant these days and it’s better to stay on top of it when there is downtime before the next group. My phone buzzes over on the desk and I practically sprint over to see if it’s Kevin. It’s not. Instead it’s Bath and Body Works reminding me about their sale on three wick candles. I shrug, figuring it can’t hurt to look. $80 later, I blow out an exasperated sigh as Nick walks back in with lunch.

“I’m starving.” Nick mumbles, setting our stuff out on the front desk. I grab my salad and slowly unwrap the plastic fork. “You’re pretty quiet today. What’s up?” Nick asks me, stabbing a few pieces of spinach and stuffing them into his mouth. I shrug in response. “Kevin?” He inquires and I nod.

“This is hard.” I reply. “I finally find someone who I connect with on this deep level and we live across the world from each other for half the year. I hate not seeing him.”

“Yeah, I can’t imagine that’s much fun for you two.” Nick nods in agreement, pausing to take a long sip of water.

“Kevin doesn’t seem to mind.” My voice is snippy as I scowl deeply.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because he’s so unfazed by it all. I feel like I’m sitting around and waiting for his FaceTime calls and he’s off living his best life without me.”

“Meh, I’m not sure if that’s entirely fair. Things are a little different here than Sweden. They’re relatively open and he can live a normal life. In normal circumstances, maybe it would be easier. You would probably even be with him this off-season.”

“I guess.” I murmur back, pushing my salad around in my bowl. “I keep wondering what our life is going to be like together. Even after COVID. Will he leave without me every off season? Will he ever consider staying here? What if we get married and have kids? Are we going to be international parents that cart their kids halfway across the world every summer?”

“Why don’t you walk before you run.” Nick chuckles at me. “Do you think things with Kevin are that serious?” I shrug dejectedly.

“I thought so, but seeing how easy it is for him to be gone.. It makes me wonder.”

Nick nods his head and wipes a napkin across his face. He seems to contemplate that for a moment.

“The truth is, the only person who’s feelings you’re ever going to know for certain are yours. But, from my experience, most men don’t ask a woman to move in if he's not seeing a long term future with her. And especially not a guy like that who likely has other options waiting in the wings.” His look at me is extremely pointed. Yes, we both know Kevin could walk down the street and grab five new women a day if he wanted to. But, he’s chosen me and that certainly means something. “Maybe you should talk to Kevin about what you’re feeling.”

“I tried this morning, but it just turned defensive and angry. He was out with friends when I called. I got sad and… jealous.” I admit sheepishly. “Like the worst kind of FOMO.”

“You know.. even if you were with someone else, there would still be challenges. Relationships are never easy. You have to fight through the hard stuff to enjoy the good stuff. There will always be trials. Yours are just on an International stage. Right now, he’s across the world and he still wakes up every day choosing you. Make sure you're doing the same. Kevin aside, you’re the only one who can decide if that’s what you want for your life.”

“I know.” I tell him as my heart squeezes in response.

“You’ve seen the sacrifice being in this league requires from Al. It takes all of you sometimes. You need to stand with Kevin in that or walk away. He’ll have to be selfish if he wants to be somebody in this league. You’ll need to learn to be okay with that.”

“I know.” I repeat because I do. I’ve seen both Alex and Felicia sacrifice for his career. How many holidays has Alex missed? How many nights did they go to sleep in different states? How many events has Felicia attended alone because Alex was gone? And isn’t that what I was attempting to do when I told Kevin to leave Minnesota in the first place? I am recognizing what Kevin said- that it’s not fair to us for me to change my mind now that he has left.

“Maybe this will help put things into perspective. You talked about imagining your life together. Maybe you need to imagine your life without Kevin.” My gaze instantly snaps to my brother and I don’t like where this is going. “Close your eyes.”

I do so, but it’s hesitantly and not without a heavy sigh.

“You’re in the family lounge next year with Felicia. You and Kevin decided to go separate ways and you see a woman off to the side who is waiting for him. He walks into the lounge and lights up when he sees her. They embrace and then take off for the night. Felicia tells you what you don’t want to hear: Kevin has a new somebody.” I swallow hard and try to push back the instant dread Nick’s words are giving me. “You go through the season acting like it’s fine. When you see Kevin you exchange pleasantries, but as time goes on you feel like you know him less and less. You convince yourself that it’s fine, natural even. You wanted this after all. Until the day you’re scrolling through Instagram and you see it. They’re engaged. He asked her on a mountain in Switzerland with a huge, diamond ring that would have looked perfect on your finger.”

I open my eyes and stare into my brother’s blue eyes. They are hard and unforgiving as he continues.

“Again, you tell yourself that it’s fine. Remember, this was what you were sure was best for you both. After all, you knew it was going to be too hard to stay together. Until you’re watching him marry her in a video posted on social media. Then you find out the hard way that there is a life more difficult than international distance. And you’re living it now. You meet other guys along the way, but find yourself comparing them to Kevin. They don’t measure up. You can’t figure out why. In the Fall, you’re at the X again, walking to your car after the game. Al gets a shut out. The family is on a high and heading out to celebrate another Wild win. You stop dead in your tracks when you see them. There he is, the love of your life with his wife. He’s holding her close, his hands on the child she’s growing. She’s the one having his babies while you sit in the stands watching his dream come true without you. And it’s all because you didn’t have the courage to make it work all those years ago.”

The silence stretches out as Nick ends this trip to a potential future. He’s right. That’s way worse than this. The pain of this fictional story grips my chest until I can barely breathe. Tears burn my eyes as I try to pull myself out of this fictitious life. How could I ever live in that world? A world without Kevin would be dull and unfulfilling.

“I don’t want any of that.” I whisper out to Nick.

“Then find a way to make it work, Sam.” He gives my shoulder a loving squeeze and walks away to prepare for his next appointment.

Later that night, after letting Nick’s words sink in further, I realize just how right he is. Kevin deserves someone who chooses him always. Someone who fights for him in the midst of the hard days and loves him through the best days. I’m that person. No one could love Kevin better than me and I’m going to make sure he knows that. Our life together will continue to come with trials. I need to accept and adapt to that, even when I want so badly for things to be easier. It’s just hard right now because of COVID. This is temporary; it will pass. When it does, Kevin and I will evolve and grow.

I pull up FaceTime on my phone and click on Kevin’s name. It’s well after midnight in Gothenburg, but I don’t want to wait until the Minnesota morning to talk with Kevin. I’ve missed him terribly all day and I want to make this right. When he answers, he’s laying in bed and sleep covers his features. He wipes at his eyes and squints into his phone at me.

“Hi.” I say shyly, biting my lip and watching as he yawns cutely.

“Hi.” He responds, voice coated from sleep. He settles in deeper to his pillows, looking at me expectantly.

“I was with Nick today.” I begin, dropping my eyes from my phone and looking at the comforter. “And.. uh.. I was talking with him about our conversation earlier and how hard this is.” I stop and look at Kevin who remains squinty and tired.

“Okay.” He says, giving his head a slight shake. I let out a puff of air and continue.

“He gave me a different perspective on what I was feeling earlier. I’m sorry about what I said. I was being selfish. You were right. And It’s not fair for me to say I’m okay with this, then change my mind because it’s uncomfortable now. One day we will look back on this and it will be a distant, hard chapter in our life. I… I want you to know that I pick you. Always. And especially right now when this distance is trying to pull us away from each other. I’m holding on to you. And… I guess, I just hope you’re still holding on to me.”

Kevin is silent as my words settle around us. I’m nervous as I search his face for any type of sign of how he has taken my words. He looks away from the camera and rubs at his face again. Slowly, he moves into a sitting position, flipping on the lamp next to his bed. He reaches for something that I can’t see and then pulls it into my view. My eyebrows lift in surprise as I take in my sweatshirt that seemingly made it to Sweden with Kevin. It’s a South St. Paul Packer Hockey sweatshirt- black with maroon and white lettering.

“This is how I got to sleep tonight.” He admits to me. “I stole it from the closet when I was packing to come back. It doesn’t really smell like you anymore at this point, but I feel close to you when I have it. Yeah, an NHL player snuggles with his girlfriend’s sweatshirt to fall asleep.” I am in stunned silence as I look at my high school sweatshirt, then at Kevin’s face. “This isn’t easy for me either, baby. And of course, I'm holding onto you. Tightly with both hands. But I can’t let our distance hold me back. We made this choice, together, and it’s not fair to either of us if I don’t go all in while I’m here.”

I want so bad to reach through the phone and grab him. I want to hold him close to me and kiss every inch of his perfect face. Instead, I wrap my arms around myself and imagine they’re his.

“I’m sorry I called you selfish. And I’m sorry you don’t feel like I miss you. Honestly, sometimes it stops me in my tracks with how much I do. I promise I’ll do better at being sad.” He gives me a small smile at the end. I return his smile with a big grin.

“You’re the sweetest thing.” I murmur to him. “Kev, I’m so sorry.. for everything I said. Sometimes the loneliness gets overwhelming and I just want you to hold me through it.”

“I want you right here with me, baby.” He breathes to me, tapping his chest. His eyebrows are furrowed in desperation. I yearn for him even as I can feel every mile of distance between us. “I want to kiss you all over. And make love to you until there is no doubt left in you about us.”

“That would be nice.” I tell him honestly, closing my eyes and imagining all of that. My body gets warm in response, a blush dusting my cheeks.

“I want to give you the world. Being here will help me with that.” Kevin whispers to me.

“I don’t need the world. I just need you.”

“I’m still with you. Even though I’m here, I’m there with you, babe. Just close your eyes and feel for me.”

“I know. I feel it.” I whisper back to him. We stare at each other for a moment. I watch him stifle a yawn and I know I should let him go. “I’ll let you go back to sleep.”

“No. Stay on with me? I missed you today.” He says, “Tell me more about your day with Nick.” He settles himself back into his pillows, eyes already drooping a bit more. I smile in response, leaning back to get comfortable in bed as well.

I tell him about my day with Nick, our conversation, lunch, and how the weather was today. I tell him about making homemade pizza for dinner with Sawyer and Serena, including the inevitable meltdown when Sawyer put too much pepperoni on Serena's side. As I speak, Kevin’s eyes slowly close completely. It isn’t long before soft puffs of air are coming out in a steady and slow rhythm. I reach out with my finger to touch the screen of my phone. I can almost imagine the warmth of his face against my skin. I close my eyes to savor that moment, focusing in on when he was last in my arms in our bed.

“Goodnight, babe….” I trail off in a whisper.

I end the call and bury my face in my pillow. With each moment that passes without seeing Kevin on the screen, my old friend loneliness begins to consume my body, inch by inch. The tears come silently now. I cry them all out, my arms still wrapped tightly around my body. Kevin and I may have smoothed things over, but no amount of words or FaceTime calls will ease the yearning I feel clawing at my chest. Only his arms can.

As the mental exhaustion takes over, all I can do is hope that the remaining days bring some sense of relief that the other 73 couldn’t.

Needless to say, I’m not holding my breath. _ _ _

Five days later, a FedEx package shows up on the porch. I find it as I’m coming back from a quick run around the neighborhood. I pop my AirPods out of my ears and reach down for it. My name is on the package, but I’m not expecting anything. After further inspection, I can tell it came from Sweden. My lips tilt into a smile and I rip it open in excitement before I even bother to enter the house. What comes out of the box is a Wild sweatshirt of Kevin’s contained in a sealed bag along with a white card. The sweatshirt he sent is my favorite. I protested loudly when he decided to take it with him to Sweden.

I open the bag and reach for the card. My name is written on the envelope in Kevin’s scratchy writing. I rip the paper open and pull out a blue card with a dresser on it. The text reads: Someday you will find this card in a drawer.. and we will still be in love. My throat expands with tears, then my lips crumble as a cry comes from my aching chest. I open the card and read his note to me.

Hi Baby- This will hold you until I can. I’m counting down every minute until I can kiss your beautiful face. I love you! Kev

Tears leak down my face freely as I close the card. I bring the sweatshirt up to my nose and breathe in deep. Every mile between us disappears and it feels like he’s with me on the porch. I wrap the arms tightly around me. I fall to my butt on the steps and grip the fabric to my chest while I rock back and forth. I breathe him in again and I can feel the muscles in my body release. This is what I needed. The ache has dulled for the first time in weeks. Now, I just need to see him. I grab my phone and press the FaceTime button for Kevin.

“Did you get it?” He beams at me when I see his face. I nod my head because my throat is clogged again.

“Thank you.” I finally push out quietly. He has no idea the gift he has given me. I can’t even put it into words for him.

“I’m sorry it’s not me.” His eyes are longing as they take me in. A tear slips down my cheek and I nod my head in agreement as I wipe it away. “I love you. The second that I can, I’m coming for you, baby.” He assures me. My teary, green eyes meet his. He releases a heavy sigh before reaching out for me through the phone.

The second that I can, I’m coming for you, baby.

Oh, what I wouldn’t give for him to be here right now.

[redblinkinglights]

4.03 Bear Hug

Let’s go!

Spoilers ahoy:

Margo: The most interesting, terrifying and heartbreaking storyline for this episode for sure. I don’t think anyone would have thought this was the trajectory of Margo’s story when this show started. Watching her strung up that way was hard. But now that she’s finally at Roscosmos, where she deserves to be. I am curious about Irina though. What does she mean that she has known Margo for a long time? Is she related to Sergei somehow? I can’t wait to find out more.

Kelly and Aleida: I’m so loving this team. I want a lot more of them this season. They can be power houses if they put their minds to it, especially Aleida. I didn’t even think about Kelly still having Karen’s shares from Helios. Damn those dividend payouts must be fire.

Bill: BILL!! I’ve been so worried that he was dead. I fucking cheered when he came on screen. Unfortunately, it seems like this will be his only appearance.

Dev: I have been anticipating return since the season started and it did not disappoint. I can understand him being bitter about everything that happened 8 years ago. You build something from ground up only to be thrown out would be a stab to the heart. He brushed up on his knowledge of business end of things so he won’t be blind sided again. Honestly, watching him walk into the board meeting and fire everyone was the highlight of the episode. Who knew I’d clap for Dev Ayesa one day?

On Mars side:

Miles, Ilya & Sam: Why does it seem that they lower class have better parties? I did love learning about the whole smuggling operation that’s been going on. I didn’t think the astronauts knew about it but seeing them be customers totally made sense. Miles is slowly getting more interesting and just as stupid as our OG characters. It was dumb luck that Lee was the one to catch him.

Lee: I hope we get to see more of him especially interaction with those he was stranded with for 2 years. I loved hearing him speak English. It seems he’s the only one who really knows how. Not really sure he expects anyone to smuggle an entire human but he must really be desperate. The Koreans knowing everything that happens at the base could bring out problems.

Dani: Not enough Dani.

Ed: Of course Wayne was his supplier. Who else? It seems his tremors are getting worse. I don’t think he’s going to be able to hide them for much longer. Just a reminder that getting old sucks. But it was cute seeing him gardening. (That’s it. That was his story line. Nothing barf inducing happened.)

Other things:

- Mayakovsky was mentioned but not shown. This is a crime. I hope we see him this season.

- Alex attempting the magic trick was so cute.

- Aleida’s bewilderment about Dev arriving there before them was gold

- They are very much emphasising on Miles. This week’s and next week’s episodes both feature him in their summaries. I get that they are establishing new characters but they aren’t the ones whose journey we followed. I have to say that the introduction and journey of the characters in S1 was stronger compared to these set of characters.

[cait-curious]

Cora Goth distractedly ate her spaghetti dinner.

"Hey babe what's up? How was the graduation thing for Johnna and her friend?" Tara asked, knowing something was on Cora's mind. "It was okay. Tegan seemed like a nice girl, but Johnna was her usual self. It seems like college only changed her for the worse." Cora mumbled. "Oh no what happened?" "First she was boasting about all of these fights she was in- it seems like she fought with everyone in the dorms," Cora said, shaking her head in disappointment. "Then she was gossiping about Nicky right in front of his daughter." "Oh no. What was she saying?" Tara asked. "She was talking about him and that Broke girl." "Oh right, Alex and I saw them together. Alex seemed pretty upset so I'm not surprised he talked about it in front of his daughters." Tara said. "I just feel so bad for Luna. She was alone at the bar when we got there. I think she feels neglected," Cora said sadly. "Should we invite her over here? Would that help?" Tara asked. She was always happy to help a family member. "No, I'm going to talk to Izzy. Maybe her boys can bring her home after school. I think being with other kids would help," Cora said, thinking of teenage Izzy and Nicky coming over to her house to get away from the chaos at home.

[xprojectrpg]

This Day in X-Project - August 29

2015: Gabriel texts Clint demanding breakfast. The Good Samaritan: The Mutant Watch website posts about a possible mutant sighting; Sue posts about the mutant sighting in Rapid City. Ty posts about missing his pants. Angel texts Clint informing him that they need to hang out with clothes. Clint texts Matt about accidentally dating Angel. Laurie texts Clint to ask him about Angel. Doug texts Angel to tease her about Clint. Jean posts asking who put books in the fridge and dressed up a skeleton. Angel is jubilant about creating Kyle-edible treats.

2016: Clea is not ready to be a junior when school restarts and asks for someone to take her shopping. Darcy hints that someone should buy her an eevee plushie for the winter holidays.

2017: Flight of the Valkyrie: Amanda emails Tandy and Ty, asking them to watch Illyana for signs of Hel’s influence; Illyana is disappointed the “cool Valkyrie chick” didn’t come back from Asgard with them. Psi War: Jean meets a new patient with unusual symptoms and there’s some light flirting.

2018: Darcy posts a desperate need for more office supplies.

2019:

2020:

2021:

2022: Blackout: Clint, Forge, and Molly begin the announced upgrades; it goes much worse than one would expect; Forge texts Molly and Clint about the problem, and Clint posts an all-call for help; Alex posts about a cookout and camping. Molly, Forge, and Clint try to turn everything back on - it doesn't work; Forge ends up in the med lab with damage to his prosthetic; Matt and Doug wake up to the blackout and Matt is amused; Doug mocks Clint; Matt mocks everyone; Marie-Ange tells X-Force she will not expense their hotel rooms to get away from the mansion; Kyle posts about grilling; Alani closes the library, not wanting to be responsible for anything happening; Maya meets Kevin, and it doesn't go terribly.

2023: Sharon S. comes across Megan, learns everything there is to know about her wings and accepts her's offer of a manicure. Darcy makes a journal entry to share a video about Super Mario 64. Sooraya and Warren talk, and Warren is lucky he doesn't end up wearing half the pasta sauce. Kane keeps his promise to Jean and joins her to be examined by Bruce Banner, when, unfortunately, a teammate of his drops by to 'help'. Topaz makes a journal entry advising she’s going to be out of the country for a while. Madin runs into a BBQ with Kane, and forgets the rule that when talking to a cop, all you ever say is 'lawyer'. Inez meets Liam while he's fishing.

[hoghtastic]

“She has done worse. “

Can you explain what exactly is “worse”? What is something that she did you have solid proof for that actually proves she hurt someone (or their feelings per say, other than yours of course.) that is “worse” than making a list of insults towards her, someone you claim to be a fan of, and other innocent people that are associated with them that got caught in the crossfire of said insults. Demeaning someone’s looks and character by insulting and hurling names at them through a list is childish and beyond disrespectful, distasteful, just down right disgusting. The way you talk about her and people she’s around is showing more your delusional character than her assumed one. You don’t even know these people and your taking time out of your day to be a disappointment of a person and act like a hypocrite by literally cyber bullying people you did not meet once, and think you have the right to make a judgement of them as a person, based off information/assumptions you made up yourself by watching a couple of videos and regurgitating shit you read from other blogs and this one. Get a fucking life, or at least one that you yourself are happy with because you sound miserable as fuck, honestly. Disgraceful.

Anon to anon, in response to this ask. 😊

I understand the fact that you like Johanne, and that the nickname list isn't to your liking. It's fair, you can share your point of view and don't have to agree with other opinions here. Although, I'd kindly ask you to refrain from calling people "a disappointment of a person" or resorting to personal insults, simply because others express themselves in a way that you, personally, don't approve of. This isn't the place for that. None of this is personal, this is just a gossip & opinion blog, after all. Besides, and even though we've already discussed it here a few months ago, I'd just like to mention that, personally, I do not condone cyberbullying, nor do I approve of people directly harassing Johanne or anyone in her circle via comments, DMs, etc... (even though I'm aware that I'm only responsible for my own actions, so everyone can act accordingly to their own conscience). Although, this is simply a place for people to discuss and share their thoughts freely. Like many people mentioned, it's highly unlikely that any of them reads the blog, anyway. And in any case, when one is a public figure, especially those in bigger fandoms than Johanne/Alex, to expect only positive comments online is very unrealistic.

Either way, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this matter. 😊

[whatsterrareading]

Library Book Haul~ Part 1(?)

Hey, hi, henlo, and howdy everyone!

Today's post is a rather unexpected one mainly because I wasn't going out with the intention of getting something to post about (I had to go into town for jury duty). And after 30 minutes of staring into a void of faces whom you'd think I'd be familiar with being from a small town but knew not but a single person, the judge came into the room, announced all the cases for the day had already been taken care of, and that we were free to go!

A silent round of applause for my local judge getting it done!

So with many hours of free time and a library just across the road from said courthouse, I made my way inside and needless to say, I was not disappointed in the selection~

And onto the post we go!

I will be posting photos of the books I acquired along with a synopsis I obtained from Goodreads and I will also be posting a link below to Amazon where, if you're interested, you can purchase a copy for yourself! *This is not sponsored, I just like to be helpful wherever I can*

~~~

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas {Synopsis}

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a terrifying creature arrives to demand retribution. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she knows about only from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not truly a beast, but one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled her world.

At least, he’s not a beast all the time.

As she adapts to her new home, her feelings for the faerie, Tamlin, transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie she’s been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But something is not right in the faerie lands. An ancient, wicked shadow is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it, or doom Tamlin—and his world—forever.

From bestselling author Sarah J. Maas comes a seductive, breathtaking book that blends romance, adventure, and faerie lore into an unforgettable read.

Link: Amazon

~~~

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo {Synopsis}

Galaxy “Alex” Stern is the most unlikely member of Yale’s freshman class. Raised in the Los Angeles hinterlands by a hippie mom, Alex dropped out of school early and into a world of shady drug dealer boyfriends, dead-end jobs, and much, much worse. By age twenty, in fact, she is the sole survivor of a horrific, unsolved multiple homicide. Some might say she’s thrown her life away. But at her hospital bed, Alex is offered a second chance: to attend one of the world’s most elite universities on a full ride. What’s the catch, and why her?

Still searching for answers to this herself, Alex arrives in New Haven tasked by her mysterious benefactors with monitoring the activities of Yale’s secret societies. These eight windowless “tombs” are well-known to be haunts of the future rich and powerful, from high-ranking politicos to Wall Street and Hollywood’s biggest players. But their occult activities are revealed to be more sinister and more extraordinary than any paranoid imagination might conceive.

Link: Amazon

~~~

The City of Brass by S. A. Chakraborty

The City of Brass by S. A. Chakraborty {Synopsis}

Nahri has never believed in magic. Certainly, she has power; on the streets of 18th century Cairo, she’s a con woman of unsurpassed talent. But she knows better than anyone that the trade she uses to get by—palm readings, zars, healings—are all tricks, sleights of hand, learned skills; a means to the delightful end of swindling Ottoman nobles.

But when Nahri accidentally summons an equally sly, darkly mysterious djinn warrior to her side during one of her cons, she’s forced to accept that the magical world she thought only existed in childhood stories is real. For the warrior tells her a new tale: across hot, windswept sands teeming with creatures of fire, and rivers where the mythical marid sleep; past ruins of once-magnificent human metropolises, and mountains where the circling hawks are not what they seem, lies Daevabad, the legendary city of brass, a city to which Nahri is irrevocably bound.

In that city, behind gilded brass walls laced with enchantments, behind the six gates of the six djinn tribes, old resentments are simmering. And when Nahri decides to enter this world, she learns that true power is fierce and brutal. That magic cannot shield her from the dangerous web of court politics. That even the cleverest of schemes can have deadly consequences.

After all, there is a reason they say be careful what you wish for...

Link: Amazon

~~~

And that concludes my library haul!

Thank you for taking the time to check out my haul and hope you decide to stick around for future posts to come~ Bye-bye!

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