#alden vacker's a+ parenting

[the-way-astray]

and if i say i think alden is a better parent than grady?

[kale-of-the-forbidden-cities]

Fitz is autistic but he hasn't realized it because Alden assures him there's no reason to worry, everything he's experiencing is normal. After all, he felt the same way

[the-prettiest-ice-cube]

Rebpong after voting

[crymeariveronceagain]

hey have you ever considered the vackers and envy

there's no way that the vacker kids aren't envious of each other. there's no way in hell.

Like, a household with such rigid requirements of what it means to be a "good" kid? With perfect kids and perfect parents, all vying for affection that's probably limited? Even the best parents can accidentally bestow improper affection on their kids, giving one too much and another too little. There's no way that Fitz and Biana don't stare at each other with longing and malice, glittering in the wings, wanting what the other has.

There's no way Biana doesn't see Fitz as this unattainable goal, this person who is her equal but whose place she can never reach, whose side she can never stand by, because he's Alden Vacker's perfect son. He's the golden boy. Their father will always love him far more than he will ever love her. The world will always love Fitz more. How can Biana ever be satisfied when all the world will ever see is Fitz, over and over again, when all her father will ever see is Fitz, when she's stuck in the shadows, waiting for the moment it actually matters and counts and means that her father's proud of her, too.

There's no way that Fitz doesn't see the way his mom's eyes light up when they look at Biana. There's no way he doesn't see the glitter in her gaze when she looks at the spinning image of her, that she only seems to have cobalt eyes for her daughter. The way Biana doesn't have to ask for gentle hands and soft kisses, for warm hugs and laughter. Fitz has to beg, day in and day out, for the affection his mother bestows on her daughter in a heartbeat, without asking, without needing him at all.

There's no way that Della doesn't see that and smile. Her life is pretty boring. What's she supposed to do with her days? Shop? endlessly? Forever? No. There's gotta be something more fun. There's gotta be some entertainment, some pleasure in life. The house is quiet, the curtains are always too heavy to make the sunshine bright. There are only so many things she can buy, so many dresses to try on, so many parties to throw, so many women to laugh with. At the end of the day, it can get awful boring for a woman with nothing else to do. She could read, but she's read so much. She could write, but she's nothing to say. She could sew, but every design has already been cast. Everything good has already been done. And life, now, for her, is entirely a bore.

Her husband's always had a vice-grip on the life of her son, and she doesn't much care either way. As long as the world is pleased, she's pleased with him.

But Biana? Biana was always her perfect little princess, always so willing to cover up her nasty marks and put on her pretty dresses. She glowed and sparkled under her mother's eye. And it's perfect, and boring. Like everything else in Della's life, like a paper doll for her to dress up and parade about, to bless others' eyes and turn into an eyesore for her own.

Then her eyes narrow, and a look of something deep and gut-wrenching glitters before Della, and the older woman is enthralled.

There's something sinister in her daughter's eyes that she's never seen before. There's something disgusting. Invidious. Looking to take and looking to rip, to claim something unrightfully hers but that she believed ought to rightly have been given. It's deep and it's hollow, echoing up through Biana's gaze like snakes slithering up from the inside of her, eating her eyes and hissing poison.

It's strangely interesting, and deeply intriguing. Della turns and sees... Fitz, with Alden's hand on his shoulder. Quiet pleasure fills her chest, as she sees that the object of her daughter's envy is simply her son. Close and familial quarters with the object of her malice? However will Biana manage? She starts to smile. An Othello all for herself, an Iago prepping her costume for the stage, all to unfold in horrible glory before her gaze. Della could not have imagined a better performance herself.

Fitz glances their way, and she sees a flicker, and for a moment, Della thinks she's seen that same snake-venom look in his eyes.

Something flutters in her stomach, like a startled realization of a plot twist.

Della leans over and kisses her daughter's cheek, gently, whispering loud enough that her son can hear, "Love you, dearest." Biana looks at her, and the envy softens into warmth, hellfire swarming into love.

But Della sees it on Fitz's face, the hellfire in Biana's venomous eyes in his eyes for a moment.

This is no Othello, she thinks, her heart beating faster, a strange sort of pleasure burning in her ears, this is a tragedy of envy, a story not of Cain and Abel, but of Cain and Cain, two bloody murderers, waiting for their chance to strike.

And, I, she thinks, I am the favor of heaven.

All she has to do is give her daughter love, and they'll squabble before her, a bright and glorious act of wrath, malice in front of her, detraction behind closed doors, whispering confrontation that can never be solved.

Nothing can stop envy, she thinks, smiling between her two vicious, violent, flawed, broken, horribly, horribly entertaining children. Nothing can halt it but love.

And what love will these two ever find, if I am the favor of heaven?

And from then on it's an odd spot of joy for her. A little something to come home to, at the end of the day. Alden never notices how Fitz tears Biana down. He's too obtuse for that. But Della sees.

Della never tells Alden that Biana broke the window and blamed Fitz. It doesn't matter, Fitz got punished for it all the same. But Della notices. She thinks about it, sometimes, when she's out with her friends, or out in the shops, and she thinks it's the most fun she's had in years. When people said having kids was a joy, she didn't think they meant like this. Their drama is her drama, and she would eat popcorn in their little theater.

[castleofravens]

i don’t like keefe in kotlc canon bc he’s manipulative often and everyone acts like it’s fine and nobody really calls him out on it and yes i am aware he’s a product of his environment and he doesn’t know he’s doing it however if i were to raise my hand and accidentally hit someone behind me or smth i still hurt them and that would still require an apology, just bc you didn’t intentionally do something doesn’t mean people weren’t harmed by it

[alvarvacker-ceo]

guys idk mybe im biased ut i can not process the concept of thinking???? that the vacker parents are good??? how do you look at those kids and say, "yup. they were raised RIGHT." like hello??? did we all jst forget ab the SIX year old they sent to the forbidden cites alone orrr...??

[you-have-been-frizzled]

i think Della loves her kids more than anything but ends up hurting her kids pretty often for a couple of reasons.

she knows her husband keeps secrets when it comes to his job and the council but doesn’t realize he will also do it when it comes to the kids. if he says one of them is exaggerating or blowing the situation out of proportion she will believe him, and try to explain to the kids that he didn’t mean what he said to come out the way he did. she thinks what he does is for the kids own good and that he wouldn’t hurt them like that. he just wants to carry on his legacy and there’s nothing wrong with that. Della justifies what he does over and over until she believes it’s right, and the kids realize they can’t trust her to do anything about their father.

and because she was no doubt raise raised in nobility, she was told that things should be a certain way, that their children need to held to a certain standard. Della knows that if her kids where to be a bad match or talentless or banished they would be scorned by society. she wants to protect them from that, so she tells them to act like Vackers to be proper, because if they don’t they will get hurt by the people around them, and she doesn’t want that. in doing that she ends up hurting them while telling herself

i do think she can become a better parent, especially since she’s joined the black swan and came to realize the problems in the world. i think that she can become aware of what she’s doing, and make up for it, because i also think the kids do realize what’s happening and that they are willing to forgive her.

[maxsrainbowsheets]

are we all gonna just move past the fact that alden sent fitz into the forbidden cities when he was 6?!? SIX you guys, that’s so little. like everytime i read that i’m like what 💀

[nejitenotp]

I can't decide if Della contributed to Alden's abuse or was just a bystander or maybe even an enabler

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

catch me reblogging this like i'm not literally the culprit behind why this was written tehe

it's cuz I have cognitive dissonance about them, and I was low-key wondering when someone was gonna make a post like this, because I haven't read the books in a fatty minute, and I've been waiting to see if someone who remembers them better than me has a different take. and viola <3

this is really well said! (even if I will still hold onto my HC's in my grave)

Something weird I've noticed in the kotlc fandom that I really cannot wrap my head around is the treatment of the Vacker family, specifically Alden and Fitz. These are understandably popular characters (and for good reason) and it makes sense that people interpret them in different ways. I can't help but notice that some of the predominant discussions around them center on personality traits they just... don't have in canon.

Most of the characterizations I see of Alden treat him as a rampant child abuser. He's overbearing, stern, and determined to force his child to live up to the Vacker name by any means necessary. Naturally, Alden is not a perfect character or father, but such a harsh depiction flattens much of what makes him dynamic in the books. As I see it, there are two main flaws that Alden has in canon: his past with Prentice and his meddling.

What Alden did to Prentice is treated pretty seriously throughout the series. In Exile, it's made clear that falsely accusing (or, not so falsely, depending on what you consider the real crime to be) Prentice and performing the mindbreak is the biggest regret of his life. So big, that it shatters his sanity and ruins one of his closest relationships (Exile, Chapter 35; Nightfall, Chapter 3). It's the mistake that keeps on giving, and it's made abundantly clear that while Alden wasn't aware of what he was truly doing, he bears responsibility nonetheless. It's a burden that Alden takes extremely seriously, pushing him to search for the Moonlark for years, but more on that later. While his guilt over Prentice is an important part of his character, it's not the flaw that I usually see given the most weight in his characterizations.

Alden's meddling is prominent, to say the least. It heavily features in most interpretations I see of him online, largely negatively and largely without specificity. In canon, there are really two ways that his nosiness presents itself: his children's personal lives and his hunt for the Moonlark. The two best examples of his meddling as a parent come from his interventions in Fitz and Biana's friendships. In the first book, Alden encourages Biana to befriend Sophie because he worries about her (Keeper, Chapters 43 and 47). He acts similarly with Fitz and Keefe, encouraging Fitz to invite Keefe to Everglen so Keefe can avoid spending time with Cassius (Flashback, Chapter 21). In both cases, Alden doesn't go beyond asking his kids to spend time with potential friends. He doesn't micromanage their hangouts or insist it's for status reasons; he's interested in supervising kids who he worries are in a bad spot. This is notably different from Gisela's meddling, which is for personal gain with tangible, selfish goals (Neverseen, Chapter 63). Maybe Alden shouldn't be pushing his kids to spend time with those they don't have an interest in. But the eventual friendships that arise from them make up for it, in my opinion.

The other form Alden's meddling takes is his hunt for the Moonlark. As a manifestation of his guilt over Prentice's mindbreak, Alden enlists Alvar and Fitz to search the Forbidden Cities for the Moonlark. I've seen this search used as the basis for a lot of the animosity between Aldena and his sons, which I think is incorrect. Alvar is the first hunter and is very open about how pointless he thought the endeavor was (Keeper, Chapter 28; Neverseen, Chapter 1). The difference of opinions over the Black Swan between Alvar and Alden is a point of contention in their relationship, but it's important to note that Alvar doesn't claim to feel pressured or pushed into the search. He just thinks the conspiracy of the Black Swan is stupid (Keeper, Chapter 28). Of course, much of this protesting was a cover for the fact that he was working with the Neverseen and would've been searching anyway (Neverseen, Chapter 63).

Fitz takes over the search at age six (Neverseen, Chapter 1). Fitz's age when being sent out is questionable at best, and I think is fair to criticize Alden for (though, I think the age has more to do with Shannon being unable to decide how Elvin aging is supposed to work since none of the other characters seem to think six is unreasonably young). But while the reader can freely critique Alden for this, what's crucial is that Fitz doesn't seem to mind this. Rather than be upset or resentful that Alden had him search for the Moonlark, Fitz calls it "the most important thing [he'll] probably ever do" (Stellarlune, Chapter 43). He's proud of the work he and his father did; if anything, it's a positive in their relationship. I've seen some arguments that pushing Fitz into the Forbidden Cities is part of a pattern of having kids do dangerous work (per Sophie doing Fintans mindbreak in Exile, even though that wasn't Alden's idea and he offered to disobey the Council if she didn't want to), which isn't necessarily unfair. What I do think is a problem is acting like the search for the Moonlark had a significant negative impact on Alden's relationships with his sons.

Part of the reason I think this interpretation is so prevalent is a contributing misunderstanding about Fitz's character. Fitz is often portrayed as anxiety-ridden over his role as a Vacker and the expectations that come along with it. Being a leader isn't something he wants, but something he feels pressured into. In canon, Fitz is almost the complete opposite. He's shown at being naturally gifted at telepathy and school and is incredibly charming. Being a Vacker -- and the expectations that come with it -- is something he embraces wholeheartedly. In fact, it is the loss of his leadership that causes struggle. A main point of contention that Fitz has with Sophie in Stellarlune (Chapter 43) is that he "still want[s] to be that guy that everyone looks to" even though that's no longer his role. None of this is to say that Fitz is perfect, or that he doesn't fight against the idea of being labeled so. Instead, much of Fitz's arc is about learning when to step back and change his perspective on the world, including recognizing when his privilege has clouded his judgment. His rejection of being labeled perfect has more to do, in my eyes, with having a difficult time reconciling his "idyllic" childhood with the harsher childhoods of his friends (Flashback, Chapter 21).

So what is the problem between the Vackers, if not fanon? The one issue that is repeatedly brought up by both Fitz and Alvar alike regarding their father is favoritism. Alvar felt ignored after the births of Fitz and Biana, claiming that Alden replaced him as soon as Fitz whom he refers to as the "Golden Child" (Neverseen, Chapter 72; Flashback, Chapter 49). Fitz feels betrayed by his parents' immediate re-welcoming of Alvar when his memories are gone, insisting they prioritize Alvar over Fitz and Biana's safety (Flashback, Chapter 16). In both cases, Fitz and Alvar feel like an afterthought or the lesser child. It's that feeling that fuels (or encourages, considering Alvar's done quite a bit throughout the series to create independent hate lol) the animosity between them and Alden.

It's this "favorite child" dynamic that I find really interesting and unique about the Vacker's dysfunction in the series. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see a reason to paint over this dynamic with bullying, especially considering there is a father-son relationship in canon that is the Vacker fanon almost to a T. Cassius spent Keefe's whole life attempting to pressure him into becoming a "real" Sencen, which Keefe tried to do before realizing it was unattainable (Flashback, Chapter 21). It's the bedrock of their non-relationship. To shove Fitz and Alden into that pigeonhole is a disservice to each of these relationships, which have their own intrigues without sharing. None of this is to say that people can't headcanon as they wish, and to try and play with characters is the fun of fandom. I wouldn't want to discourage anyone from that or shame them for it. But to claim those relationships are canon is disingenuous to me and a misportrayal of the books.

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

we can argue day and night whether or not Alden and Della were emotionally abusive, if the Vacker kid's lives really were perfect, if Fitz was just born with the coping mechanisms he has, or if they were created etc...

But here's the thing. When you take into consideration WHAT is valued in the lost cities, what is expected of imperfect people, all of the boundaries and barbed wire around what makes someone 'good'- nobody, and I mean NOBODY is coming out of that world emotionally unscathed.

Lord Cassius is not the only elf in the lost cities who cares about the status of himself and his children, and keeping up appearances. We know he has a warped view of his desire for Keefe to succeed being a form of love. We know how he has pathologized his self-absorbed need to keep his ego intact. He's a piece of shit. But part of the reason is that he values what his world has taught him to value. Prestige, sophistication, power etc...

There's a reason Mr. Forkle had to keep his twin a secret his whole life. A reason the Song Twins were rejected. Why Stina was raised to bite before assessing the danger. Because they were born 'imperfect' to their 'perfect' world's standards. They were born with the short stick. The scorn built in. There's a reason the school, Exullium, exists. For rejects, for people who don't meet the standard. Bad matches, being talentless etc... because their world rejects people who are 'chips' in the facade.

which means, that regardless of what you value, your world will punish you for anything that doesn't meet their quota. Sure, there's elves who choose their values over expectations (Dex's parents) but there's still a lifelong social punishment that comes with it.

Which means the threat of this punishment hangs over every elf's head. Which means that there are undoubtedly elves who adhere to values they don't agree with, solely out of fear of the consequences of choosing what they actually care about. This is their world. This is their lot in life.

And good luck trying to kill out this way of thinking and running the world, when elves live forever, and the people in power are the oldest elves in the world.

Now- imagine you're the Vacker's. You are the spitting image of what perfection is thought to be. You are renowned, watched- YOU ARE THE STANDARD. But even the Vacker's know they aren't perfect. Which means that regardless of how they feel about any of it, if they want to avoid scorn- they have to meet impossible requirements.

And to some parents, loving their kids means 'saving them' from that scorn. Which means heaping the expectations of the world onto their kids tenfold.

standards that are inherently abusive.

I don't think the Vacker's could come out the other side anything but emotionally abused. because the standards of their world. Because the standards they are held to, are so unrealistic, and the punishment for not meeting them is so heavy, the only way to meet them is to die a million deaths and not let anyone see that you are a corpse. You either become exactly what the world wants, or you fall, and everyone watches when you hit the pavement, and then they remark how ugly you look, and how you failed to even be appealing in death.

But guess what- that is your fate. Because it is impossible. And this type of pressure doesn't make diamonds, it creates kids like Fitz Vacker, who's fall from grace was inevitable. Because the standards were always impossible. No soul could meet them.

You can't come out of a world like that without some measure of emotional damage. It's a cycle.

Some elves choose to fight the power, but that resistance is futile when the power is literally ancient, with a relative scale for justice, and an 'objective' scale for judgement.

it just so happens that the Vacker's response was to melt their gold exactly into the shapes asked of them, regardless of how wrong it felt, and how much it hurt.

[kale-of-the-forbidden-cities]

Cassius prefers Fitz over Keefe. Alden prefers Keefe over Fitz. They end up using their parent issues against them, to manipulate them.

They tell the other's son something they never told their own:

"I'm proud of you."

And that hurts them. but they keep coming back for those crumbs of validation. They don't see it.

[the-prettiest-ice-cube]

reblog once you voted

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

I’m so here for this.

ok that’s it I’ve seen so much Alden slander and Alden defenders and I’m about to pinch the next person who says ‘he’s a good parent’ or ‘he’s a horrible person’ like I swear. Look ok Alden sent not one but two of his children to the forbidden cities alone. It sounds like alvar was old enough that he’d be mostly ok but Fitz? He would stand in the same spot for one to two hours just watching some random girl and while so much of the fandom over exaggerates that making it sound like he’d be there for days or smth it’s still very dangerous especially for someone that young. In fact staying in the same spot is probably worse that moving around because that way no-one can tell if you’re being followed or watched. It’s still very dangerous and it’s a miracle he didn’t get kidnapped or smth. Secondly I think what literally everyone forgets is going to the forbidden cities is illegal, as in if you get caught you’ll probably be banished. And we’ve seen what the council does they’d probably have no qualms about banishing a 7 or 8 year old if they had years of incriminating evidence. What do you think would happen if Alden went to prison and Fitz got banished? Would Alden leave biana to start the search, because he knew how important it was? Would she agree not wanting to disappoint her father? Would she get caught to? Would the entire family be banished? Probably. Know you might be thinking after all that and countless other things that prove Alden is not responsible or even remotely well prepared for the position he’s in(that I will be making posts about by the way) why don’t I hate him? Because honestly, I get it. If you look at the way Alden puts his work before his family (whether that work is council provided or not) and the way he treats and raises his children almost as if he’s their mentor or teacher, rather than their father I think the answer becomes quite clear he doesn’t know how to raise a child or how to look after a family because he never wanted one. But before Fitz he was the golden child of the vacker family and everyone expected him to have kids and start a family and pass on his ‘pure genes’ as elves like to dub them. So he did. And now he has no idea what he’s doing. And I get that. Being shoved into a part you don’t want to play, that you don’t know how to play is so hard and it hurts when you see people getting hurt because of mistakes that you shouldn’t be making because you’re supposed to know what you’re doing but you don’t because people read you wrong and don’t understand that this isn’t what you were made for. And so to some it up: Alden was supposed to be the irresponsible yet cool single uncle who flies around in a private jet and tries to take you to see the titanic but your parents said no so he bought you a Lamborghini instead but society said no fuck you here have some meat sacks and handed him Alvar Fitz and Biana and now he doesn’t know how to un-fuck-them-up because god damn it Alden stop involving your children in illegal activities and treating them like your their your students or smth and everyone else could you stop shaming children for not reaching your ridiculously high expectations!

[crymeariveronceagain]

alvar vacker's low quality life story

He's Fitz before Fitz is born. Alden's golden child. The perfect Vacker heir.

He's perfect. He's seamless. He's brilliant. He's Alden's favorite son. It tastes like smothering yourself and becoming a statue. It's everything anyone could ever want. It tastes like bile in the back of his throat when he says the wrong thing at a party. It's everything everyone wants. Alvar isn't a person but a doll. But Alvar doesn't care. Alden has his perfect son. His favorite son.

Then again, Alden doesn't have anyone to compare him to.

Alvar is proud to be a Vacker. He's proud to be himself. Sure, his father gets this look in his eyes when he manifests at age ten. Sure, it burns deep in his chest because he knows what his parents were looking for and it wasn't him. But he's fine.

He's Alden's favorite son. Alden doesn't have anyone to compare him to.

He's Della's favorite child. Della doesn't have anyone better.

And then, when he's eleven, Fitz is born. And his reality shatters. He slowly, slowly, softly, carefully, loses absolutely everything. Because Alvar is only good enough if there's no one to compare him to. He can no longer impress his father. Not with Fitz right there, teal eyes, smiles, smarter, brighter, fiercer, more like Alden. How did Alvar ever stand a chance?

And so he resorts to the next best thing, staying out of the way--- away from his parents' anger or manipulation and attention and it works and he's fine and it's okay.

And then Biana. And Alvar is out of a place again. Because when Biana turns three, she's the invisible child.

Fitz is golden, Biana is invisible, that leaves only one option left for Alvar. It's not a very good one.

He feels eyes on him at every turn. It's been three years since he's been seen, and it feels like violence every time his father hisses at him, his mother scolds him, his parents' friends laugh at him. He gets pushed around some. What else are they supposed to do with him? He's no one's favorite. He's not invisible.

He's horribly, horribly seen.

None of the Vacker children get the right kind of love. They get cheap replacements. Each one is cheaper than the next. Fitz gets praise and a box he can never move out an inch out of. Biana gets freedom and never being thought of. Alvar gets noticed and the pain of being seen without the warmth of being loved in the way that knows along with sees.

Alvar moves out the second after he finishes school. He never looks back.

Never.

He goes somewhere he'll never be seen again.

It all goes downhill from there.

[bookwyrminspiration]

ok not to alvar post in your inbox again but liek.

“You want to talk about being left for dead?” Alvar lunged forward, but Sandor and Ro shifted their blades to block him. “ I was left in a pod of orange goo while my brother and sister stood by watching! The same brother who threatened to carve me up with a knife earlier that night! The brother who stopped pressing buttons to try to save me as the pod filled up—did he tell you that? He let the tank fill, waiting for me to drown” (632).

this excerpt makes me want to eat concrete in a good way. we love to talk about fitz stopping pressing buttons, but the way alvar is angry at fitz for stopping isn’t really talked about as much as it could be i think.

i always thought it was so funny because alvar was given the chance to change and come back from what he did throughout flashback. and when his memories came back, he made his choice to turn his back on his family, but he’s mad when said family turns their back on him in return. but i rlly wanted to hear your thoughts on this because you’re one of the most ardent buttonsposters on this site

this is FASCINATING. Okay, so. Looking at Alvar's familial feelings, a lot of his hatred is centered on his parents. He felt drowned in unrealistic expectations he could never live up to as the only Vacker kid, and saw Fitz as a replacement, his parents saying he'd never be good enough. Whether this is true isn't really relevant, as it's how he took it

Fitz ends up in a weird cross section here where he hasn't actually done anything to Alvar but exist. Alvar hates Fitz for replacing him, but it was their parents that chose to have him. Everything Alvar hates about Fitz is a manifestation of his resentment for Alden and Della.

Fitz is the perfect golden boy. A telepath like their father, the youngest to naturally manifest at that. Replaced Alvar in looking for Sophie--actually found her when Alvar passed her by. Fitz enrages Alvar for being everything he thinks their parents wanted that he wasn't

But Fitz doesn't have to be. I think that's key. Fitz could throw it all away, stop being perfect, drown under the pressure like Alvar did, and join him. And I think Alvar wants him to. Then he wouldn't be replaced, and instead Fitz could serve as evidence of how horrible their parents were. If Fitz breaks, too, then the problem wasn't with Alvar

And yet he isn't. FItz is choosing, again and again, his family. His parents. To be on the opposite side. Which means he's now making an active choice to become the replacement he inadvertently always was, proving the problem's with Alvar. Which means Alvar can hate him for being himself now. He's just like them, and he's turning their sister, too. The little sister who was the most likely to get him--so when she doesn't? They're blinded, representing everything wrong with their world. The expectations, the indoctrination of the next generations, everything

Alvar is desperate to be the one hurting. He grew up incredibly privileged and only talks of the burden it was. Keefe said Umber was left for dead and he immediately lashes back with this quote, talking about how he's been hurt just as much if not more because he got gooed. And not only that, his family gooed him.

Which reveals he does value family to an extent. If it's worse to be hurt by your siblings, it's because they matter more. Again, everything Alvar hates is centered on their parents. Fitz and Biana were supposed to choose him, to see his pain and understand him, leave their parents behind. They're siblings, even if they're bratty and naive.

We see that in the repetition of brother before each point; he's highlighting the connection they should've had--and blaming its dissolution on Fitz. A little on Biana, but mostly on Fitz, as Fitz was the replacement and the spark to the fuel of Alvar's suffering. The last straw. He's furious. And frames everything as if its unbelievable.

Which implies, potentially, that he wouldn't do the same. That he wouldn't take a knife to his sister, or watch his brother drown. That for all his talk, he sees them as different from their parents and that they matter, deep down.

I think Alvar is desperate to have his pain acknowledged, to be seen and understood, which is a valid desire. But he has blown it entirely out of proportion in his quest to be seen--and his siblings were his main hope. Who better to understand what being a Vacker kid did to him than the other Vacker kids? But because of that blowing it out of proportion, even though they're all Vacker kids, they can't understand. Because Alvar's reaction is illogical. He's in the wrong, and he refuses to understand or realize that because there's kernels of validity to his feelings.

so he's simultaneously furious at Fitz for replacing him, being everything he wasn't, and not choosing him, and desperate to be seen and acknowledged and understood by him and Biana.

basically Alvar's a clusterfuck of complications of a man