#alcohol for hand sanitizer

[dykeiism]

the current wave of comphet discourse is really getting me down because it seems like a total misunderstanding of why lesbians might consent to having sex with men. if i may be so bold as to post about my own experiences and risk being called a bisexual...

my attraction to women feels good. i have fantasies about touching and being touched by specific individual women. i like to imagine myself with one woman in particular and i feel comforted and pleasured by the idea of her hands on my body and of mine on hers. when we actually do have sex, it comes naturally to me. my arousal is exciting to me, and i feel satisfied and respected and safe after the encounter. i feel proud of what i did and i regard it as a good experience.

i seek out sex with men despite calling myself a lesbian. i don't believe that the sex i have with men tarnishes my integrity as a lesbian, and here's why: i'm a sex addict and i use sex as a method of self harm. when i have sex with men, they are random anonymous men. they could be anyone at all, and i'm not attracted to them in the slightest. my thought process is usually either "i'm worthless as a person unless i'm having sex. i need someone to use me the way i was born to be used, or else my life has no meaning and i should die" or "i need someone to hold me. i don't care who, and i don't care what i need to do to make it happen. i just need to be held." i panic and i dissociate and i try to stop myself from soliciting sex from men, but i feel like i'm watching myself from the outside. i feel terrified, ashamed, empty, and alone, and i regard it as a traumatic event. i'll never feel satisfied by the experience, so i seek it out again and again, trying to either hurt myself or to gain some kind of control over the situation. this isn't attraction; it's a horrifying combination of impulsivity, hypersexuality, mania, self-harming and suicidal urges, and severe dissociation. these are not things i should ever be acting on, if i can help it.

consenting to sex with men, even if i'm the one actively seeking out that sex, doesn't make me a bisexual. being told that what i feel towards men is 'attraction' is a complete misunderstanding of my experience and of attraction itself -- and it's a dangerous idea to spread. attraction shouldn't make you dissociate and panic. it shouldn't make you feel unsafe. feeling this way about men doesn't mean you're attracted to them; it probably just means that you have some psychological issues that you gotta work through.

[bluetapes]

Winter Tree by Jim Rohan Via Flickr: Alcohol gel transfer on Arches 88 paper with some crackle gel mixed in for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

[unusualshrimp]

every day im grateful that all the easily available addictive substances taste and smell like shit

[ghostr0tz]

vox is the one character i can draw without a reference so i keep drawing him on EVERYTHING. this is your fault sawyer 😡 /j /lh

(also i took this photo almost 7 hours ago and it still hasn't washed off 😭😭)

HJFJHASFJHFD

You're welcome its good to have somebody else in this boat of drawing him everywhere. Also the Vox you drew is very good, i love his side eye

[wallofshrek]

woah first art post on this blog in like 6 fucking years... and it's a woomy in distress

(they may not look distressed because they're fucking mindjacked, but trust me. this woomy? distressed as fuck.)

rant about the method under the cut

this was mostly just an experimental piece for me and i'm not sure if the experiment was a success??? but i'm vibing with it. minimal after-editing done on this, just kinda fucked with contrast and brightness a little bit to try and make the colors pop more.

done on paper, lined with my fucking. probably 10 year old or something microns. colored with ohuhu alcohol markers as well as some colored pencil and quite a bit of gel (and glitter gel) pen. unfortunately the glitter in the goop doesn't show very well through the camera, but there is a good bit of glitter there, i wanted to make it pop.

all in all this took like. 4-6 hours? over the course of two evenings. probably my longest (and i think proudest!) piece in a while.

[anadorablekiwi]

So many mosquito bites on top and sides of my feet/ankle 😭😭

[marigoldbaker]

there is no euphoria more extreme than figuring out a genuinely useful #lifehack at work yourself with basic logic

[valentinesparda]

9:45 am and pouring rain and I have to be at WORK for 8 hours. DEATH AND DYING

[mysterious-corpse]

dropped my fucking airpod in the toilet ew ew ew ew ew

[random0lover]

Idk who told y’all vodka tastes good but they lied

[cosmicallysick]

Oh my goooooooooooooooood fuck offfffffffff does it think I’m googling this cuz I care about my health??? Jesus Christ

[bolshevik-rpf]

dear lord i am not going to survive this martini

[ginnyw-potter-archive]

I keep getting the same ad for an app to help alcoholics?? I don't drink??

[bibleofficial]

i cleaned my bong w everclear & it dissolved the resin ? so easily ?? & then it started literally STRIPPING THE PAINT from the BONG like girl … 😭😭😭 i drink this shit ?

[lildoodlenoodle]

Alright I’m procrastinating writing 3 different scientific/research papers so obviously that means it’s time to clean my crusty old paint brushes that I’ve been procrastinating cleaning for an Embarrassing amount of time.

Tip for the binaries and non-binaries that didn’t know this: You can get acrylic ( yes, even nasty, crusty, caked on acrylic and gouchae paint ) off your brushes using rubbing alcohol.

[noirtek]

sometimes i forget what the standard of alcoholism is for the average non-addict and i get to witness their face of horror when i accidentally let it slip that a fifth of vodka usually lasts me about two nights