#alcohol ;

[emptyheadgamer]

this is how it should be

red dragon inn my beloved

it's fucked that mead is a real drink that you can buy from a store and you don't actually need to brew it in your own dwarven wooden barrel or be invited by small mice into their larder to try. it's also fucked that grog is a real drink that wasn't made up by pirate orcs, and also is just watered down rum instead of, like, a bubbling green slop with stink lines coming off of it. does this make sense

[shyaringan]

thinkin about them…

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

Flamingo Road (Michael Curtiz, 1949)

[incognitopolls]

This is extremely dangerous. Never drink rubbing alcohol. It is usually not the same type of alcohol as is found in beverages, and often contains poisonous additives.

Clarification added after posting: Isopropyl rubbing alcohol is more common in the US and is not the same as what is in beverages. Ethanol is the same type of alcohol as in beverages, but ethanol rubbing alcohol usually has poisonous additives.

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When anon's father was an alcoholic, they caught him drinking rubbing alcohol a couple times. A friend of theirs also said her grandpa did it. Anon wonders how common this is for alcoholics.

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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[parrhesiac]

Went on vacation to South Carolina and the first day we ate at a place that had flights of soups. We proceeded to eat there most other days as well.

[maladaptiveobsession]

“That cute guy is kissing me!”

Synopsis: The reader is intoxicated, doesn’t recognize their partner, and says something along the lines of the post title. Alex, Eden, and Bailey are the focus for this post, all being gender neutral.

Contains: gn!reader, alcohol, medical sedation, noncon drugging, noncon reference

Words: 1,053

Alex:

The two of you had broken out the liquor that night, dancing and overall goofing off. It hadn’t taken long before you were wasted, barely able to hold yourself up. With a faster metabolism, Alex was only moderately drunk. Helping you to the couch, they laid you sideways just in case you couldn’t hold your dinner.

They left shortly to fetch an empty bucket and some water. Handing you the water, you sipped absentmindedly. Watching you struggle with coordination, spilling water all down your shirt, they found the sight adorable and leaned in to peck your lips.

You tilted your head so their lips only grazed your chin. “Oh… You’re really cute, but I’m not available.”

Flattered but tinged with worry, they encouraged you to explain further. “Taken?”

“Mhm! I have a partner. They’re so cute and strong—oh, and they smell really, really nice. I’m so happy we’re together.” You gushed about this mystery partner. Alex’s mood fell, stung by your words.

“Is that right...?” They mumbled rhetorically.

“Yeah. Can I tell you something?” You pause to glance around as if someone else could be listening, not waiting for their response to continue. “I stole their body wash so I could still smell them even when we’re apart.”

That was you? Wait, then that means you were talking about them. Breathing a sigh of relief, they’re reassured knowing you rejected their advances only because you thought they were an admittedly cute stranger.

“My lips are sealed.” Settling beside you, they begin to quiz you. “Why don’t you tell me about this handsome, strong, and good-smelling partner of yours?”

They couldn’t wait to tease you once you sobered up.

Eden:

The procedure had gone well; simple but necessary. Eden’s hatred of hospitals was a well-known fact, but what they hated more than that was the thought of you being in a hospital alone and too doped up to protect yourself. So, here they were, waiting by your bedside for you to wake up. They cradled your hand in their own, rubbing their hand across your knuckles.

Blearily, your eyelashes fluttered open, unfocused. They smirked ever so slightly, noticing a similarity to how you looked out right now and how you looked blissed out on their dick/strap-on.

You swiveled your head around aimlessly before your eyes connected with their own. Your mouth fell open, eyes filling with an emotion they couldn’t determine.

“Whoa… Who’s the cutie?” You looked to a nurse for answers.

Eden felt their cheeks warm, unable to stop the small smile from forming on their lips. Chuckling, they leaned in and captured your lips with their own. You really were too adorable to resist.

You stared at them in a daze, blinking cutely with those wide eyes of yours. Words seeming to have finally found you, you blurted out, “Th-the cutie kissed me!”

From behind, they heard the nurses chuckling. Suddenly aware you weren’t alone, they bowed their head to hide their reddening face. This only prompted more light-hearted laughter.

You still thought they were cute even though you didn’t recognize them? Well, they wondered how you might react once they told you they were your spouse.

Bailey:

They had been about to retire for the night when they received a call to come pick up their ward. Apparently, the drugs some guests slipped into your drink were too strong for you to handle, and they didn’t fancy fucking an unconscious orphan.

They arrived not long later, visibly disgruntled as they pushed through the throng of bodies. The air was thick with the scent of sweat as laughter echoed around the excessively lavish mansion.

When Bailey finally arrived at the room you had been cooped up in, they found you sprawled naked across the bed, looking pale and disoriented. Your skin had turned a sickly hue, making the bruises and ejaculate littering your body all that much more apparent. This wasn’t exactly the scene they had envisioned when those rich freaks approached them to purchase you for the evening.

“Who knew it would get this messy?” they muttered, peering down at your pitiful form. With a grimace, they took off their jacket to wrap you with. You jerked at the sudden contact, peering up at them with tired eyes.

“Who are you?” You mumbled, squinting beneath the harsh fluorescent light. Whatever they gave you must’ve really fucked you if you couldn’t even recognize your tormentor.

“Quit squirming. I’m taking you home,” they snapped as they scooped you into their arms and trudged out of the room. People stared as you passed, some trying to catch a feel but ultimately shrinking back under Bailey’s glare.

“For someone so cute, you’re not very nice.” You slurred, eyes struggling to stay open as you nestled into their chest.

Bailey blinked, taken aback by your unexpected compliment and sudden surge of affection.

“Shut up,” they grumbled before kicking the front door open; the night air nipped at their now exposed arms.

They barked at a straggling partygoer to open the passenger side car door. As they settled you into the passenger seat of their pristine car, you took advantage of the moment. Without warning, you grabbed the front of their shirt, pulling them in close. Stunned, they felt a rush of warmth flood their cheeks as you stole a fleeting kiss.

They pulled back with a growl, the warmth of your lips sending shockwaves through their body.

“Sorry, just couldn’t help myself,” you giggled with a lopsided grin. “Your lips just looked so kissable.”

Slamming the car door shut, they stomped to the driver’s side and slid behind the wheel. The drive home was quiet, marked only by the soft hum of the engine and the muffled sound of your breathing beside them. You leaned against the door, your eyelids drooping as exhaustion overtook you. Fucking great, not only was their jacket stained with cum, you were drooling all down the side of their door interior.

Bailey gripped the wheel tightly, desperately trying to shake the thoughts that clouded their mind. Your lips—how soft they had felt against theirs. They shifted in their seat, recalling the brief moment of contact, fighting against the heat creeping up their neck. “What the hell was that?” they muttered to themself, resolutely avoiding looking at you for the rest of the drive.

[j4v4r10]

*grabbing the guitar, mind racing to come up with the first verse of Mike’s Hard™️ Supernova*

Made a new playlist but so far it only has 2 songs in it

[sonyshock]

𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚞𝚙 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 Social media  + Commissions  + PAPERCUT

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[moon-meerkat]

stumbled into this while drinking the only apple cider i've ever had???

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

[eff-ston3mblogs]

ok so just drinked alcohol after being sober for this whole school year so far

[marshmallow-biscuit-blog]

yk that one dialogue that can happen if Arthur's drunk. Yeah, except Cinnamon's actually gay.

[vintagepromotions]

Cover of the drinks menu at the Ricketts bar, Chicago (c. 1930).

[goodomens-fanmadequotes]

(The table in front of the angel and demon was full of wine bottles)

Crowley: "The point is. The point is..." (Trys to focus on Aziraphale and give him a point) "The point is. The point I'm trying to make...Is dolphins. Thats my point."

Aziraphale: Mate out of water?

Crowley: Don't think so. Pretty sure that's not it. Something about their young. Whatever.

[tarantulica666]

EMPTY BOTTLES

[carapuce35]

Drunker