#al: i love that ur corrupted. have u considered....... doing the corruption???????

[urproblematicfav-ao3]

I really wanna do a emilycharliealastor thing that starts of as top sadist with a corruption kink x bottom sadist with a corruption kink x stupidest purest angel in the universe who thinks she lost her virginity because she kissed a girl one whole time 300 + years ago,

But eventually after Emily (deeply, deeply fucking considering renaming her Emem, like Al suggests it as her new Fallen name) falls, and now Alastor and Charlie have a weird third in their marriage, she gets bullied so badly by Vaggie during her adjustment period that she has multiple suicidal mental breakdowns. And Alastor is like, really weirdly kind to her?? Em thinks that this is all her punishment for being a lesbian, Alastor tells her this is her redemption arc because now she gets to be herself, and help people without all of the insane and unhealthy weight of a police state ruining her sense of morality. Particularly, that survival isn't pretty, and its rarely good or moral to do it. Privileged people get to live, everyone else(black people) have to fight just to get by.

Vaggie overhears and is actually so fucking suprised by now empathetic and good of a speach that is, Alastor is immediately offended because fuck you I'm still evil fuck off. She wants to apologize for being petty(she had absolutely every right to be petty) but Al tells her to wait and let Em do hers first so her effort isn't wasted by forgiving her immediately after their fight. And then he coaches Em into a pretty good apology.

And like, idk a bunch of angel based lesbian spitroasting. Ya know how it is. Charlie's strap, Alastor being a pervert as always-

Problem: this is show lion au shit. And I haven't written any of that, so I'd have to explain everything in the notes I guess lmao. Like, in my au Vaggie was an angel. But she wasn't an exorcist, she was just a normal human. She eventually gave in to her Gay™ and kissed a girl, they got caught and the girl immediately accused Vaggie of assaulting her so Vag got punished while the other angel didn't (white women are always victims, while the horrible, aggressive brown lesbian was the aggressor. Classic bullshit racism and unfair judgment). Emily was the one who carried out this sentence. But again, police state, Em can't NOT punish Vaggie without drawing attention to herself, especially as a black woman. But Vaggie got tossed aside, and Em had to deal with the guilt and the guilt of what she did to everyone else too. This wouldn't be Atropa timeline wise, but same bones. Might write it still tho, I want Em to be complicated and interesting and also noncon'd

[scatterbrainedbot]

RAT SONS LORE DUMP #1

THE HAMATO FAMILY

okay so im looking at my first few character sheets and theres a little bit of lore/context i want to give just to clarify, specifically about the last generation (of humans) in the Hamato lineage

(long text heavy post ahead!)

so background:

in the 03 version of tmnt The Ancient One (who is not a Hamato) essentially adopts three children: Hamato Yoshi, Yukio Mashimi, Tang Shen (girls dont get surnames i guess??) They seemed to have been explicitly raised as siblings. Still, love triangle trope was hungry ig. Both boys fell in love w Tang Shen and she fell for Yoshi. to which Mashimi said ‘alright bet’ and killed her. i cant even laugh at him for his pathetic Nice Guy “i was nice to you for years and u wont have sex with me???” tantrum cos like. sir, that is ur sister. boy howdy. all of yall need to go meet some other people.

mostly i chalk that whole mess up to the fact that the writing of women in most media in the early 2000s lacking like idk?? any actual characterization?? an ounce of consideration??? not a single braincell?? they were mostly just there to be a means to some plot trope, rather than an actual character in and of themselves — like im amazed april came out as lovely as she did, with her own like life and skills and autonomy (her big sis vibes in 03 are so so nice, and tbh i love her whole character a lot — still lots of misogyny moments in her writing too but im not trying to do an analysis into that rn)

so anywho!!

for the rat sons au, i decided to go ahead and scrap all the incesty undertones (idk, are those undertones? seems p straight up to me?) and completely revamp the origins of The Ancient One, Tang Shen and Yoshi <3 (and Mashimi too ig, but he essentially got cut out entirely. sucks to suck ya entitled lil douche)

Here's the general lowdown

So, the Hamato clan is one of the oldest and well established in all of Japan. The family rose to prominence in the feudal period of Japan’s history, due to their collective skill in the art of ninjutsu, their dedication, stealth, and discretion. Like most ninja, they were assassins available to hire, either for killing or simple sabotage, for politics or personal matters – though no matter the task, a Hamato’s loyalty was always to the head of the Family over their client.

Beyond their reputation as a ninja clan though, the Hamatos also had a reputation for being extremely generous to their community and highly protective of the less fortunate. (think kinda Al Capone vibes, like oh these bitches hella dangerous. but also. will def tip over $100 soooo…) This did lead to occasional conflict of interests during assignments/contracts. Most Hamatos would then seek the advice of the head of the family, and follow their lead, be it to the benefit of their client, or not.

(This also led to several members either abandoning the clan, or being killed by their clients for failed action etc etc)

As time passes and we reach the mid twentieth century or so, there is only one final heir to the Hamato lineage. A young man, named Hamato Sho. Sho spent his youth trying to serve his family and honor their name etc etc etc. But ultimately, this got him caught up in a lot of corrupt powerful nonsense that he eventually walked away from after the death of his friend.

This friend had left behind a young daughter, Tang Shen. Since he knew she had no other family to claim her, Sho took her in, expecting to only be a temporary foster at most. Surprise! this quiet five year old kiddo melted old mans cynical heart to absolute mush. his daughter now bitch.

He only ever adopted the one child, and he adored her sm. and he tried his best to be a good papa. he nurtured her curiosity and engaged in her interests and taught her everything he knew, without ultimatums or concerns about family names. at times he could have probably been considered very lax in his parenting, or far too lenient or undisciplined, but as a kid that grew up suffocated by watching eyes and guiding hands and Destiny capital D, i think that by giving his child room to be her own person and do her own shit (especially in her teenage years) he was in fact showing her a level trust and pride than he never had been given himself. basically he did everything he could to give her the exact opposite childhood he himself had (like rise splints <3)

Because of Sho’s encouragement, Tang Shen grows up to be a very independent soul, whos never met a problem she can jerry-rig, bodily move, or roundhouse kick into being fixed. She also becomes a fucking badass ninja master (and mystic warrior, lol) though mostly all she wants in life is the maintain the quiet little farm her father has started. maybe kiss the cute boy from town who walks her home sometimes (even though he lives the other direction.)

Meanwhile, Yoshi (surname pending) is in fact not a Hamato. Yet, at least. he, however, is that cute boy from town who walks home with Tang Shen most days and has been absolutely smitten with her since like fourth grade lol

(theyre besties for like a decade before they officially start to date. They get together finally after Tang Shens been trying to figure out a good date idea (one that isnt just something they already do) to ask him on for like a month, and Yoshi just leans over and kisses her goodbye super casual one day cos he thought they already had been dating for like. six months. cue her delight and his abject horror (he never wouldve kissed her if he didnt think that was already established as okay. p sure he even like asked her before randomly like, hey is it alright if i kiss u goodbye? and she was like ????? ok??? is this cos of ur european studies class. theyre both very silly) shes gonna tease him so bad about all of this. and tell Sho. Yoshi will never know peace again /affectionate)

Mashimi doesnt make any real appearance in their story i dont think. Like he might be a friend of Yoshi’s in elementary school. probably had a tiny start of a crush on Tang Shen when they were small and tried to take the ‘pull pigtails on the playground’ route of getting her attention. what he got was a kick to the chest and a broken nose. never came near her again after that. (eventually started avoiding Yoshi too since he was with Tang Shen all the time)

All that being said though, im afraid Tang Shen is not fully free of curse of the unwanted suitor. The Hamato name still carries a fair amount of pull, after all, and there are some very dangerous people looking to make some claim to its influence.....

[feymaid]

can i get a shitpost of ur DA2 fam? i am bummed out that no one is critical of characters anymore n i need a pick-me-up... :(

OF COURSE!!!! Thank u for asking ;o; (These got a bit longer than the last oop)

1) Luanna Hawke (Uli’s Aeducan’s world-state) ~

She was my first Hawke! She has a primarily purple/blue personality. 

. She worked as a mercenary during her first year in Kirkwall! Luanna gets a whole lot stronger and develops a thicker skin when working with him since she is a very emotional person. Her emotions don’t go away, but she learns how to better mask her emotions with humor to cope. She was extremely close with Bethany, much more so than Carver. Since both her and Bethany were mages, they often trained together, and Luanna was prone to leaving Carver out of her life. She still loved him dearly but it wasn’t until Bethany died and Luanna realized that Carver’s anger towards her felt justified. This was devastating to her and she tried everything she could to get the two of them to be closer, including taking him to the Deep Roads. Carver became a Grey Warden thankfully, but it was very hard for her to see him go. She romanced Fenris! She was drawn to him because Luanna’s self-confidence and will to better herself was extremely low when they met. She found his drive and passion to just get things done extremely admirable and found herself trying to mimic his strength.  She fought the Arishock for Isabela. Isabela is her best friend next to Varric and there was no way she’d let her be taken away. She faced death in that fight when she was stabbed through the stomach. Anders was able to save her but she was permanently scarred. She supported the mages! But did not support Ander’s decision to blow up the Chantry. Despite being a mage, Luanna is Andrastian and was very good friends with Sebastian. However, due to the fact that she and Anders were good friends throughout the game, she couldn’t find it in her heart to kill him. She survives the fade and goes on to have two kiddos.

2) Alphonsa Hawke (Dakila’s Word-State) ~

- Primarily Red but occasionally diplomatic personality.

Alphonsa is my weirdo meanie Hawke who has a bit of an awkward streak but through all of the bullshit, truly means well. She also doesn’t look as clean as she does in the drawing above, often resorting to a terrible hand-cut bowl she does with a pocket knife. She’s pretty quiet and introverted, not ever wanting to grand-stand or stand out. She’s a blood mage too so she wants to fly under the radar as much and hates the attention being champion gives her. With her companions, she has a slower start to forming bonds with them, but eventually considers most of them her friends. She actually ends up marrying Sebastian. So. It’s no secret that the Sebastian romance in DA2 is lacking in content in comparison to the other companions, so a lot of this is my own interpretation of events sprinkled with the canon in-game stuff. Alfie loves Sebastian because he is literally just a good-hearted, kind person. Alfie was never seriously religious. She’s one of those who believe that IF there is a Maker, he has “abandoned his creation la dee da.” She has never really allowed herself to be taken care of. And despite Alfie’s naturally pessimistic attitude, she does try. She wants to be a good person but her anger often times envelopes her when she sees a simple solution to a problem. She’s impatient and needlessly cruel at times. But she is self-aware in her anger, which makes her resent herself a bit. With Sebastian, she actively avoids him at first because the sort of compassion he offers is so alien to her, and how open he is about his heartbreak with his family’s deaths gets under her skin. Long story short, (I have like an essay tucked away about their relationship in general) The two bond over the mutual feeling of the deaths of their families. And they fall in love and get married!!  Alfie isn’t all that upset that the marriage is chaste since she is just so dumb-struck that someone loves her! Act 3 Al is sooo much happier and softer. She grows her hair out and starts taking better care of herself. THEN the chantry explosion happens and her whole world falls apart again. The Chantry represented so much for her. It was her place of healing and peace when she felt alone. It was even more so for Sebastian. In my canon too, Sebastian wasn’t with her when the Chantry exploded. So for one awful moment, she thinks he’s dead. Alfie doesn’t even give Anders a chance to speak. She just beats the absolute SHIT out of him fully intending to beat him to death. And she doesn’t stop until Sebastian literally pulls her off of him. She kills Anders despite supporting the mages. Sebastian drags her off to Starkhaven soon after and she’s glad to go. She has three boys parallel to Sebastian and his brothers for fun.  

Ezekiel Hawke (Marie’s World-state) ~ 

- Red personality. 

Ez is my rouge red Hawke and was a character I made to see how evil I could be in a game since I personally find it really hard to be mean to even video game characters. Ez was a very sickly child and was often bedridden. Throughout his life, his family never knew what exactly was causing him so much pain so the illness remained. When Malcolm died, Ez felt like he hadn’t even known his father, he had spent most of his time training with Bethany and Carver while he had been left to lie in agony. Being the oldest boy in the family, he was pleased to be the head of it and would work tirelessly to improve his strength so that he could walk without fainting. When Ez turned eighteen, he decided to do something about the sickness. He confronted a blood mage and forced him to cure him. The blood mage warned him that a price would need to be paid but Ez didn’t care and would do whatever it took to heal himself. The reverse spell cured Ez, but left him incredibly scarred. At the beginning of DA2, Ez realizes that the spell in itself was a curse, and took away the effects of his invisible illness that would eventually kill him, and instead replaced it with a painless grotesque life. His skin starts rotting off. To cover up the damage done to himself, he covers his face/hair in heavy makeup and powder. (Ez is a secret redhead I know it’s shocking lol) Ez is extremely vain and particular about how he looks and will not allow anyone to touch him out of fear of seeing under his painted mask. His resentment of mages causes him to lash out at Bethany. Carver’s death was even less meaningful to him than his father’s. For a majority of their relationship, Ez pressures Bethany to find a cure for his deformities. Bethany dies in the deep roads and Leandra’s death was almost therapeutic. A desire to erase his family and start over overcame him. The name “Hawke” belonged to him and only him. Power became very interesting to Ez, as he was powerless his entire life and he was willing to appeal to anyone who might give it to him. This includes the Arishock who he happily gave Isabela to. He worked as a smuggler for the first year in Kirkwall. Ez for the most part was never interested in romance or even friendship, just political alliances. But he ended up getting in a very unhealthy rivalmance with Anders. He never really cared for Anders in a romantic sense but enjoyed the attention he gave him. He and Anders never go beyond a few kisses since Ez just can’t stand to have anyone touch him. (Again I could write an essay on this relationship) Ez supported the Templars and ruled as Viscount. He had Anders executed (ya extra tragic for Anders again sorry lol). In my own canon, Ez gets corrupted with red lyrium in the final fight against the mages and is a brutal and ruthless ruler, so much so that a rebellion happens against him and he is driven out of Kirkwall. He immediately starts looking for the next source of power to appeal to. He eventually works for Corypheus and spies for him in Inquisition. My Inquisitor in that universe finds out he’s a traitor and leaves him in the fade. 

[swishy-imagines]

Dysophonia (3/3)

Of course Allister would be up- Allister, who has no bedtime and regularly checks who’s online (and sometimes knows without checking at all)

He gets a flurry of new messages, and decides (against his better judgement) to open the chat up again:

[(11:58 pm)

🌊: any1 awake

bsides al hes always here

🐲RH_HL: me

allister: :(

Melony: Allister you really should go to bed!! 🛏⏰💤 You need your rest so you can grow up big and strong!!

🌊: mel has that ever worked

🐲RH_HL: lol

allister: hi piers

🐲RH_HL: what

oh snap

hey piers!!!!

🌊: heyy

Melony: Good evening piers! ☺️👋🏻

🌊: good 2 see u

🐲RH_HL: @championtime get in here mate I know you’re up

allister: <gif of a banette waving>

sorry that took a while to find]

He watches it scroll for a while, wondering if he’s actually delirious.

[championtime: Whaaaaaaaat

🐲RH_HL: piers is here

championtime: Seriously?

Oh wow you’re right

Brb buying a lottery ticket

Melony: That is not nice Leon 😡

🌊: lol

🐲RH_HL: lolol

Melony: 😡

🌊: leon respond 2 my email already

championtime: Anyway what’s up Piers

Ok listen I was GOING to

But then SOMEONE pinged me

🐲RH_HL: excuse me i am not the reason you’ve been putting off checking your email for three days

championtime: Why are you even awake right now Nessa

🌊: waiting 4 ur email

allister: mr Leon is very busy

🐲RH_HL: oh not you too

Leon you’ve corrupted the child

Melony: leave Allister alone 😡

How have you been Piers 😊😊]

He doesn’t know whether or not to respond. It’s really late, he ought to be trying to sleep. And... let’s be real, they probably don’t care. Still, they did ask...

He waits, one hand over the phone keyboard. When there’s no further messages:

[pierzzz: awful, if you really want to know

🌊: ?

championtime: ??/?

Melony: Oh no 😱😢

🐲RH_HL: oh hey no wait what’s up

Allister: :(

pierzzz: voice is gone

🌊: yyyyikes

pierzzz: also probably I am dying

allister: oh no

Melony: Piers you should not say things like that 😱 there are children present 😡

allister: it’s okay i know he’s joking

Melony: I meant Leon

championtime: HEY

🌊: lololol

🐲RH_HL: seriously though are you ok

pierzzz: will be eventually

championtime: Losing your voice must be a big deal

pierzzz: oh it is

would be livid if I wasn’t so bloody tired

🐲RH_HL: just ur throat? or are you like

oh

pierzzz: caught a cold or something

barely made it through the show tonight

even looking at the screen is making my head hurt like hell

🌊: turn ur brightness down genius

pierzzz: it’s on minimum smartass

🐲RH_HL: why did you even do the concert

pierzzz: came on too fast

was fine this morning now I’m just

☠️

championtime: That sounds more like the flu mate

🐲RH_HL: yeah

pierzzz: oh fantastic

Melony: Oh no!! 😢

Are you going to be ok?

pierzzz: ill be fine

just gotta sleep it off

championtime: You sure?

🌊: was that a pun

🐲RH_HL: can and will corvicab over there if you are actually dying

pierzzz: what no what

championtime: No to who

pierzzz: all of you cut it out

wait

championtime: HA

pierzzz: nO NOT YOU

allister: :(

🐲RH_HL: got it be right there

pierzzz: STOP

Melony: Raihan, calm down. It’s past midnight, taking a taxi at this hour is a little unreasonable.

pierzzz: THANK you melony

Melony: You can pay him a visit tomorrow morning. 😊

pierzzz: i have never been so betrayed in my life

🌊: lolololol]

Piers briefly considers throwing the phone against the wall.

[🐲RH_HL: in all seriousness though mate my schedule is clear tomorrow

pierzzz: don’t waste your day off on me

you’re not allowed

🐲RH_HL: says who?

pierzzz: says me

🐲RH_HL: why

pierzzz: what

what kind of dumb question is that

🐲RH_HL: Give me one good reason I shouldn’t

pierzzz: w

🌊: raihans using caps what timeline r we in

championtime: And punctuation

It’s like I don’t even know him anymore

pierzzz: i don’t ws’

🌊: typo

pierzzz: i dont want to be a bother

gone from this chat for months then the first thing i do when i show up again is complain

allister: is that why you waited so long to speak

championtime: I bet it is

pierzzz: i don’t ever speak here i don’t know why i’m even in the chat still

i don’t come to any of the league functions i’ve only ever met a couple of you in person once

i’m an awful gym leader

i don’t deserve your attention

🌊: wow

ok

suddenly feels like im sitting in on smth super personal

🐲RH_HL: piers

pierzzz: i’m sorry

that was too much ill

i should go

championtime: No don’t

allister: <gif of a sad shuppet>

Melony: Oh, dear...

🐲RH_HL: stop

piers stop it

right now

pierzzz: what

🐲RH_HL: stop talking about yourself like that

pierzzz: everything i said was true

🐲RH_HL: those last two parts definitely were not

pierzzz: raihan

🐲RH_HL: listen

i

we’re still friends right?

i know i’ve said some bad things to you in the past

stuff i regret

and i know we don’t see each other much anymore

🌊: do i hear secret backstory

🐲RH_HL: but like

Melony: Nessa, shush.

allister: yeah if you point it out he might stop

championtime: Guys, cmon

🐲RH_HL: i still care about you???

if you’re in a bad spot and there’s something I can do

I wanna help you out however I can

pierzzz:

championtime: I’m shocked you’re talking this much

Usually with me you’d just pretend to drop it and then show up anyways

🐲RH_HL: Leon shut up

championtime: :P

🌊: sounds like him

allister: one time he showed up at my gym in the middle of the night without even asking

🐲RH_HL: I’m ignoring all of you

especially you Allister I genuinely don’t know what you’re going on about and that’s not a can of wormadams I want to open right now

Melony: Oh, dear.

🌊: yikes wtf

🐲RH_HL: Piers

Are you sure I can’t come over tomorrow?]

...

...Piers gives up.

[pierzzz: if you really want to

i won’t stop you

🌊: dawwwwwww

Melony: Awwww!

pierzzz: shut up all of you before I take it all back

🐲RH_HL: nessa if you ruin this im making it rain in hulbury for two weeks straight

🌊: HEY

it was Mel too

championtime: I’m glad to see you two getting along

Wish I could join you but I’m swamped

🌊: hey yea that reminds me check ur email

championtime: 3dsjkvdcjosko

pierzzz: god no

full offense I think being in the same room as both of you at once would actually kill me

allister: mr kabu says that sometimes

championtime: Does he now?..

Melony: 😅

🐲RH_HL: ill pull up a picture of leon on my phone

he’ll contribute exactly as much as the real one would have

pierzzz: sounds about right

championtime: HEY

🐲RH_HL: u know im right mate

🌊: leon ur email

pierzzz: he’s right

🌊: leon ur email

🐲RH_HL: leon ur email

championtime: stop

🐲RH_HL: leon ur email

🌊: leon ur email

pierzzz: leon ur email

championtime: TRAITOR

🌊: lolololololololol

Melony: It’s getting late, and I’m not one for Bother Leon Hour. I’m going to go to sleep now. Good night, everyone! 🛌💤

pierzzz: me 2

🌊: nooooooooo

stay up and help me spam Leon

pierzzz: would love to but

again

dying

🌊: boo

🐲RH_HL: let him sleep nessa

allister: i can help

championtime: .

I can’t get mad at you in front of melony

🐲RH_HL: Mel left

championtime: you tiny judas

🌊: leon ur email

allister: mr leon ur email

🌊: you’ve got the spirit at least

pierzzz: bye

🐲RH_HL: See u

pierzzz: yeah ok]

He turned his phone off, and stared at it for a few seconds after the screen went black.

If he didn’t know better, he’d say his headache went away a bit.

Hm.

[heartsoftruth]

if he moves, how do i talk myself into supporting a club i explicitly dont like and now despise because of the dirty and corrupt way they are taking away neymar from the club i love? how can i cheer and root for him while hating the club he plays for?

That’s what I also been thinking about…

Let’s just wait and see what happens and try to push these thoughts away… Tho I also have them… 

Anonymous said:idk why barca even let him go to china and record stuff for the team when he’s about to do his medical for psg the day after…

Anonymous said:NEYMAR IS LEAVING GUYS THIS TIME IT IS MORE THAN OFFICIAL !!!

Anonymous said:Al Khelaifi (PSG president): “Negotiations for Neymar are going well. I’m very confident.” So yeah that’s that

Anonymous said:Neymar going for a medical with PSG??? I’m sorry did I miss something when was this confirmed??? Last time I checked we are still awaiting his decision!!! Stupid Barca App

Nothing is official. Let’s hope he isn’t, but tomorrow and Wednesday gonna be crucial… 

There’s also rumors Pai told Barca he doesn’t know what to do yet… 

Anonymous said:those ney shirtless videos i mean can he stop being so hot .. i just need to jump on him and start kissing him and beg him dont leave ney dont leave bae plzzzzzzzzzz

Deffo way to many hot videos from today

nonymous said:meanwhile, Neymar out there today still following brumar pages and liking brumar quotes about his great love no one understands, jesus!! what a 14 year old! I don’t wanna insult anyone but I’m starting to think this guy is not the brightest in the bunch….

Probably bc she opened her mouth about them in an interview… All of a sudden I also saw many Brumar things on the suggested page by INsta xD 

Anonymous said:Next thing you know PSG are also buying Gabriel Jesus and Countinho and the rest of the Brazilian starting team 😂

Let them leave my baby Gabi with Pep!!! 

Anonymous said:Neymar looks very good in Barcelona’s shirt❗❗❗❗❗❗❗just in Barcelona shirt .

Real Talk!!!! 

Anonymous said:I seriously cannot understand how Dani thinks it’s “brave” for Neymar to leave Barca. It’s stupid to leave the best club in the world, not brave. What would be brave is to stay and face all the fans he has disappointed!

Dani only says that bc he wants Ney to come. He can stfu. 

Anonymous said:Who is that Amanda girl Marcelo and Ney were having a photo with??

Some YouTuber apparently 

Anonymous said:velvarde said some positive things about neymar, that he has some hope that neymar will stay.

Let’s hope so. I hope he makes the right decision: stay!

Anonymous said:Omg i know you’re not neymar i just wrote what i think because this whole thing makes me so aggressive we all don’t know what is 100% true and what not

Oh ok! hahah. Since you addressed it to Neymar I thought you thought I was him hahah. (That happens sometimes so thats why haha). 

Anonymous said:neymar signed the contract at barca knowing about leo’s role there. he should take some notes and realise leo worked and earned his way up to his position. now when the first offer of so much money comes along he takes it because he can be a team leader? no a true leader climbs his way up to the top, and earns his way. he has iniesta as a captain and an influence, if he didn’t learn anything from them or the team, can’t say i wouldn’t be hugely disappointed because i will be. let’s just see :/Maybe he sees that Leo is gonna be a leader for so long stlll and wants to be that too, but knows he won’t be at Barca for a while… I mean I could understand if he went to another team for that growth, but not P$G… That’s just a stupid decision. Anonymous said:Feels like Suarez and Messi were angry against Neymar yesterday… kind of disappointed with this, I expected them to be closer especially if it was Ney’s last match. Note (before people misunderstand my ask) : i’m not throwing shade at Messi and suarez

Didnt quite get that vibe, but maybe that’s just me :) 

@msn-forever​ said:Hi! Will Neymar really do that China thing? Or wasn’t it cancelled? Please do still post about him even if he’s a …u know player! I would hate to see him leave, only the thought about it is killing me, but I could never stop loving him! So please post about Barcelona and Neymar, whatever will happen. I also don’t know what to do about my name MSN-FOREVER…if the N wd get lost…😢😢😢

Hi, sorry for the late reply, but as you’ve seen Ney really did the China promo thing. (He also confirmed it on one of his INsta pages he was gonna go). 

Let’s hope he stays. There is still a small chance… 

Anonymous said:Neymar is an example of modern footballer love the work not ur company. He loves futbol he hasn’t attached any extra sentiments to the club. It’s just how it is. He is practical that’s it. Something leo messi isn’t if he was he wouldn’t stay at one club his lifetime given his quality once in a lifetime footballer he should’ve actually gone to different leagues&hence increase his brand value show he can do it anywhere which we know he can but still actually doing it makes a difference

I love players with club love. Love it. Since it’s so rare these day. I love how Luis still talks about Ajax with love. It’s the same here as an Ajax-fan we would welcome Luis with open arms again. 

Nothing wrong with club love and staying where you were made into a champ. Leo started at a top club and he made it to the top and still is the best. I think the argument that he should went to other leagues is so overrated. If you see how long he’s been at the top that answers the whole question. No other player accomplishes that. 

@naleyforever​ said:No it really wont be wrong because even if they are paying the money they are doing so for a job he is doing for them thats becoming the face of WC after that its his money not qatar loaning money, that happening wud get them into direct problem. Offcourse if people want to contest this as violation they can but in the long run nothing will comeout. Qatar as a gift is also going to give him an island.

Well UEFA will officially look into it and whatever happens or where he gets the monet from that company in Qatar can’t be affiliated to PSG otherwise they will breach the FFP. Or they will have to sell players hence why they probably are offering us Di Maria and other players we dont need. 

Anonymous said:So ney’s large group of friends not one of them can offer advise to him?! Gil is 28/29 one of the oldest in the group and he can’t even guide his younger friend because he foots all their bills?! I just don’t understand how they can all sit back and let their friend ruin his career and reputation like this.Ney is easily influenced that much is obvious so I am sure if any of them talked to him he will listen/at least consider their view but it seems they’re a bunch of yes men to Ney &his father!

I have no ideaaaa. I hope they slap some sense into him and tell them how much they LOVE barca and spain in general. They all made friends, speka the language etc… 

Anonymous said:To the anon: Carol and Davi living in Barcelona won’t stop Neymar from going to Paris. It’s a 2 hour flight from Barcelona to Paris. I bet they won’t move to Paris with Neymar since they have their lives settled in Barcelona, but they can always go to Paris.

@ anon. 

Anonymous said:hot lips yes they are so hot .. but they stole your tag idea them lips

HAHAHHA, Damn right they stole my lips from me! I thought of it as well xD 

[miracufic]

Have Your Cake (And Eat it Too): Chapter 16

A collab fic with @loosescrewslefty, now found on AO3!

Inspired by @larvesta‘s post here.

< Previous Next >

In Which Two Steps Forward Are Taken

Alya glares at her homework with enough vicious intensity that the paper seems to shrink away out of sheer terror.  Through the wall she can hear the low arguing of her parents, which occasionally rises to a furious screech before her mother brings her voice back down. Probably to avoid disturbing her sisters.

How considerate of her.

Her phone, charging off on the side of her desk, buzzes.  Alya reaches over and unlocks it, glancing at the screen.

A message from Nino.  She taps the notification and opens it.

“Hey babe,” she reads.  “ur mom looked pretty angry earlier when she came by to pick u up”

She considers giving his commentary the degree of attention it deserves—which, considering that even blind-as-a-bat Nino sans glasses could’ve noticed the expression of barely-controlled rage on her mother’s face from twenty paces, probably merited only a flatly sarcastic “Really.” or “Wow, you think so?”—but refrains.  Nino wasn’t doing anything wrong, and it wasn’t fair of her to vent her spleen at him.

“Yeah, she decided to chew me out over what happened in school today,” she texts back.

“Ovr everyone going after chloe”

“Yeah.”

“U all right”

“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks.  I mean, aside from being grounded for a month.  And suspended.”

“Uh”

After a second, Nino follows up his message with a concisely eloquent “What.”

“Yeah, it turns out that fucking spineless tit Damocles doesn’t like being called a corrupt pig chained to the petty whims of a vain teenaged brat of a girl.”

A few more seconds pass before Nino replies, “You what”.

“I may have lost my temper at him.  Slightly.”

“After the rest of us left huh”

“Yeah.”

“Babe i love u”

“I sense a but coming.”

“But you really really need to cool it with the whole provoking chloe thing”

Alya quashes the shrieking, rising tide of rage and goes intead with a measured, “Nino, I would choose your next words.  Very. ��Carefully.”

“Oh for crying out loud just wait a sec”

She waits a second.  Then a minute.

“Well?”

“Look we all get it,” Nino writes.  “We all love mari and we all hate that chloe likes to pick on her and letting that stuff slide makes none of us happy.  But ur the only one of us whose mom actually works for her.  Do u think that shes not going to be petty enough to go after ur fam?”

The entire apartment goes still.  A quiet, high-pitched ringing fills her ears.

“Babe?

Uh babe

Babe u havent said anything

Its been like a minute

Oh fuck

Did ur mom lose her job”

“No,” Alya types in quickly, “no, we’re fine, Nino.”

“Oh good”

“I had not thought of that, damn.”  Alya stops and chews on her upper lip.  “But look, I don’t”

“Look I know u dont want to not do the right thing,” Nino texts before she can finish.  “Uh if you get my point”

“I do, thank you Nino.”

“But u need to take care of urself too

Mari wouldnt want u to ruin ur life for her”

“Look, even /she/ can’t get Mom fired that easily, there are too many ways they’d get screwed over legally.”

“U think she cares abt laws?  Or knows abt them?”

“No, but her father does.”

A pause.  Then, “Point but I still think u should back off a bit.  U dont need to keep going after chloe all the time, we can do tht. Just focus on helping mari.”

Alya stares at the message for a few seconds before tapping in, “Look, can you take a call right now?”

“Sure”

A second later, her phone rings.  She accepts the call and turns on the speakerphone.

“Hey babe,” Nino says.

“Nino, I can’t do that,” Alya says.  “No, let me finish.  Marinette needs someone who’ll always be there to stand up for her, and—I’m trying not to be too judgmental here, but you guys have dropped the ball consistently there.”

“Okay,” Nino says after a moment.  “Harsh, but yeah, I get what you’re saying.”

“So I—can’t, Nino,” Alya says, “I can’t just do that to her.”

“I thought you’d say that,” Nino says with a sigh.  “How long are you going to be out of class?”

“Eight days starting tomorrow,” Alya says.  “So I’ll be back, uh, next next Tuesday, I think.  Yeah, Tuesday.”

“All right,” Nino says.  “I’ll talk to Adrien, see if the four of us can’t hang out at your place sometime this weekend.”

“That is probably not going to work,” Alya says, sticking her tongue out in the direction of the living room.  “Grounded, remember?  I sincerely doubt Mom’d let me have friends over.”

“Yeesh,” Nino says.  “Think that telling her that we’re bringing class notes would work?  We have that test in math the Friday you get back.”

“I think the automatic response to that would be ‘why don’t you just email them to her?’” Alya says, making a face.  “You’re welcome to give it a shot, though.”

“Sometimes I forget how harsh your mom is,” Nino says.  Someone says something in the background, the words indistinct.  Nino responds, “Yeah, give me a sec.”

“You need to go?”

“Chores,” Nino says.

“Wow,” Alya says.  “Bummer.”

“Your mockery is noted and unappreciated,” Nino says with a haughty sniff. “Love you, babe.  Talk to you later.”

“Love you, Nino.”

Alya sets her phone down on her desk with a quiet click as Nino hangs up and slumps back into her chair, letting the noises of her apartment fill her room.

It’s just that the noises are about ninety percent her parents arguing.

“What’s going to happen the next time she decides to do that to an authority figure?” her mother shouts, the words punching easily through the intervening walls.  “She could get arrested!  Or shot!”

“And what kind of message do you think we’re sending to her,” her father replies, his basso voice a heated rumble, “to her sisters?  That if someone powerful and influential does something wrong they should just shuffle along and pretend that nothing wrong is going on?”

“There is a time and a place for these things, and neither of them is right in front of the Headmaster, to the Headmaster’s face!”

“Then where?  Then when? When is a good time to point out the obvious injustice of her situation?”

“She goes to the rector, or someone else up the ladder from the Headmaster,” her mother says.  “She uses some common sense and good judgment instead of rash bullheadedness!”

Alya sighs, heads to her bed, and stuffs her head beneath her pillow, muffling her father’s reply.

At some point, she falls asleep.

“Morning, Nino,” Marinette says the next morning as he walks in with Adrien at his heels; Adrien slides his torn bag across to Marinette with a wink that makes something flush hotly in her chest.  “M-Morning, Adrien.  Hey,” Marinette says, “did either of you see Alya on your way in?”

“She didn’t tell you?” Nino says, his brows popping up for a moment.  “She decided to yell at Damocles for basically just doing whatever Chloe wants him to do instead of his job.  She got suspended.”

“Uh,” Adrien says.

“She what?” Marinette says.

“She, uh, basically called Damocles a sock puppet with Chloe’s Dad’s hand up his ass,” Nino says.

“To his face,” Marinette says.

“A-yup.”

Marinette swears under her breath as Adrien asks, “How long is she suspended for?”

“Two weeks,” Nino says.

“Wait, what?” Alix says.  She reaches up and pops out an earbud.  The sound of someone screeching loudly in Russian while an electric guitar howls in the background rings tinnily from it before she reaches down and pauses her music. “Chloe got Alya suspended?”

“This is going to get repetitive,” Nino mutters under his breath. “All right, so Alya got in a shouting match with Damocles, said some things she shouldn’t have, Damocles gave her a two-week suspension.  I don’t know if Chloe actually, y’know, told him to punish her or if she egged her on, but that’s all I know.”

“Aw, jeez,” Alix says, rolling her eyes and slumping back into her chair. “Your girlfriend is an idiot, Nino.”

“Sometimes,” Nino says.

They hear a haughty sniff from the door way and a rapid clat-clatter of heels on the floor.  Half a dozen heads—Adrien’s, Alix’s, Marinette’s, Nino’s, Kim’s, and Lila’s—turn towards Chloe as she struts to her seat, followed closely by Sabrina.

“Only a shame she couldn’t get expelled,” she says as she sits.  “But I’m sure she’ll slip up at some point.”

“We can only hope,” Alix says, attempting to make Chloe spontaneously combust with sheer force of will.

“Why, thank you—“

“I don’t think she was talking about you, Chloe,” Lila says.

“No,” Alix confirms, “I wasn’t.  Thank you for the clarification.  Some people needed it, apparently.”  She waves to Mylene and Ivan as they shuffle into class as well and puts her feet up on the desk and her hands behind her head.

“Excuse me?” Chloe says, bristling.

Alix takes a deep, satisfied breath.  “For the benefit of the idiot in the room,” she says, “I’ll repeat myself. One of these days, you’re going to let your gigantic ego get the better of you, and you’re going to do something so monumentally stupid even by your standards that even dear old daddy isn’t going to be able to cover for you, and all of us are going to be rid of your burden.”

Nino sighs and turns on his music, bringing up the volume until the sounds of Alix, Mylene, and Chloe screaming at each other are mostly drowned out.  Adrien slouches beside him and looks miserable. Marinette takes out her sketchbook and starts to scribble as the others file in.

“Uh, excuse me,” Rose asks Nino as she and Juleka come in a few minutes later. Nino pries his headphones loose and cocks an ear towards her.  “Where’s Al—“

“Later,” Nino groans, “please.”

Juleka approaches him later as everyone is queuing up to leave for lunch.

“Alya’s been suspended because she mouthed off to Damocles,” Nino says, “she’ll be back in a couple weeks.”

Juleka blinks at him.  “Uh,” she says.  “Yeah. I know.  Rose told me.”

“Oh thank god,” Nino says.  “You would not believe how many times I’ve needed to repeat myself today.”

“Fourteen times,” Juleka says.  “Max’s been keeping score.  Kim has a small betting pool going as to when you’ll crack.”

“He what?”

“He’s set up a betting pool as to how many times people will need to ask you where Alya is before you snap,” Juleka says.

“How much is in the pot?” Nino asks.

“Around twenty euros,” Juleka says.

“Who’s winning right now?”

“Rose and I,” Juleka says.  “We’ve put five euros in on you snapping at seventeen asks.”

Nino blinks at her, then lets his head sink into his hands.  “You guys suck,” he says, voice muffled.

“Love you too.  Anyways, what I was going to ask was whether you knew what was going on with Adrien and Marinette.”

Nino looks up, bemused.  “What do you mean ‘what’s going on’?”

“Rose says that they’ve been a lot touchier than usual,” Juleka says. “They seem a lot closer than they were yesterday,” she translates after a look at Nino’s expression.

Nino thinks it over, his intuition throwing sparks onto tinder at the back of his mind.

“Maybe something’s happened,” he says with a shrug.  “Tell you the truth, I hadn’t noticed anything really different.”

“Too worried about Alya?”

“Too worried about Chloe deciding to do something involving Alya,” Nino says.  “She’s not exactly a kind, wonderful, forgiving, charitable sort of person.”

Juleka makes a face.  “Don’t need to tell me twice,” she says.  She glances up at Rose, waiting patiently for her at the sidewalk.  “Look, I gotta go.  See you later?”

“Later.”

Nino watches the two of them go, absorbed in thought until Adrien’s hand lands lightly on his shoulder.

“Huh?  Oh, hey,” Nino says.

“Heading home for lunch?” Adrien asks, sitting next to him on the school’s front steps.

“Duh,” Nino says.

“Want a ride?  The Gorilla should be here in a few.”

“Sure,” Nino says.

His mind flits back to what Juleka had said.  Adrien had been closer to Marinette, had he?  Well, he had offered her his help in snagging him way back when, and it wasn’t like it’d hurt to give him just a little nudge. And they didn’t have anything else to do.

“Hey, is everything all right with Mari?” Nino asks, giving Adrien a sidelong glance.  “She seemed really shaken up the other day.”

“Hm?  Oh, yeah,” Adrien says.  “She looked a lot better when I left.  You and Alya went to visit after school, right?”

“Yeah,” Nino says.  “Seemed a little tense, but at least she wasn’t actually freaking out.”

“That’s good,” Adrien says.

Nino leans back onto his elbows.  “Hey,” he says, “do you know why she had all those band-aids on her fingers?”

“Oh, burned herself on a hot pan,” Adrien says, then hastily adds, “that’s my best guess at any rate.  She does a lot of baking, doesn’t she?”

“Probably,” Nino says.  “Someone’ll need to help her with stuff.”

“Probably,” Adrien echoes.  “Real question is, will she let herself be helped.”

“Pride goeth,” Nino says.

“Hey, at least one of us will be there to catch her if she trips, right?” Adrien says.  He shoots Nino a sunny, wolfish smile.  “What are friends for, anyways?”

Nino mirrors his smile and offers up his fist.  Adrien taps his knuckles to his as a car pulls up to the curb.  “Come on,” Adrien says.  “Let’s go.”

“Hey, is your hand doing better?” Adrien asks Marinette.  “Your blisters are healing well?”

“Yes, they are,” Marinette says with a patient sigh and a small smile.  “Please stop fussing, I’m not an invalid, Adrien.”

Rose coos at them while Chloe glowers, fuming so ferociously that for a second Nino is forcibly reminded of Mt. Etna, looming over the innocent and unaware citizens of Catania, ready to obliterate them and their little lives in a moment’s notice.

Nino lets his attention drift to more important matters once he’s satisfied that Chloe isn’t going to explode and try to claw someone’s eyes out.  At least in the immediate future.

Marinette and Adrien had been, well, the only word that really fit was odd, over the past week.

Adrien had been fairly normal, aside from the aggressively keen interest he’d started showing in Marinette—Nino lets himself preen a little at that, go him.  Just one week and Adrien was already well on the way to asking her out, Alya was going to freak.  But their every interaction had been tempered with a sense of coiled restraint on Adrien’s part, like he’d desperately wanted to do something or to say something but had felt that the time or the place or the company wasn’t quite right.  Although Chloe’s constant, hovering presence all three were more or less the case.

And, well, Marinette.  She should’ve been over the moon with Adrien’s constant, focused attention, Nino was sure.  He knew that he wasn’t exactly a master at reading people but Marinette could be counted on to be as ecstatic as Chloe was incensed whenever Adrien paid her the least bit of attention.

Or, she had been, at least.  Now she was distant and distracted half the time; but why?  It probably wasn’t anything Chloe had done, every other time this week she’d made an attempt to crack Marinette’s composure they’d put a stop to it before things could get, ahem, messy.  Maybe the aftereffects of Chloe’s dumb trick with the honey?  But she’d seemed practically normal just a couple days after that.  Maybe she was just worried for Alya?  That felt a lot more likely, but his gut was still telling him that there was something off about that guess.

Nino grumbles under his breath.  He needs Alya for this.  Well, a couple more days and she’ll be back, and then maybe they’d be able to figure this mess out.

But first, of course, he needs to pass this dumb exam, or his parents would have his head.  He turns his thoughts away from his friends’ relationship drama and back towards the mass of incomprehensible squiggles on the board.

“I—“

Thunk.

“—hate—“

Thunk.

“—this.”

Thunk.

“I’m pretty sure that concussing yourself isn’t going to help, Nino,” Adrien says from where he lounges on Marinette’s floor.  Marinette lobs a croissant at his head; Adrien catches it, shoots a wink back her way, and bites off one of the horns.

“Not all of us have fancy math tutors to help us, Mr. ‘I’m already learning calculus’,” Nino mutters darkly.  He catches the pain au chocolat that Marinette throws to him and starts chewing steadily through it, not bothering to brush away the crumbs that fall into the spine of his open math textbook.  “Seriously, this is all Greek to me.”

“You did pretty well on the homework for this section, didn’t you?” Marinette says.  She takes the last pastry, a cheese danish, from the plate on her desk, folds it in half, and takes a bite.

“I thought I did,” Nino says.  “But since I don’t get a single thing this book is saying, I’m having second thoughts about that.”

“In fairness, this isn’t the best resource in the first place,” Adrien says, “according to my tutor anyways.  Frankly I think he just has a personal vendetta against the author or the publisher or something.”

“Well, it is an American publishing house,” Marinette says, flipping through page after page of arcane scrawl with a glazed, disinterested air. “Think that has something to do with it?”

“Maybe,” Adrien says.

“Oh, yeah, do you mind if I drop by and use your scanner later, Adrien?” Nino says.

“Mm?  Yeah, sure, why?”

“Alya’s still under house arrest, remember?” Nino says.  “She’s going to need our notes.”

Adrien pauses in the middle of copying out an equation, shakes his head with a slight frown, and continues.  “Shoot, can’t believe I forgot that.  Think her mom will let her Skype in?”

“Probably,” Nino says.

“I’ll text her and see if she’s open,” Marinette says, pulling out her phone and tapping a quick message.

“I’ll pop down and return the plate,” Adrien says.

Nino groans and rolls onto his back as Adrien hauls open the trapdoor and trots downstairs, sitting up and stretching out his back and neck with a succession of loud pops.

“Seriously, how the heck does Adrien remember all this stuff?” Marinette grumbles, opening a drawer and taking out a sheet of lined paper.  “I’ve been staring at this for half an hour and I still can’t remember all the identities.”

“Fancy expensive math tutor, remember?” Nino says.

“Ah.  Right.”

Nino stares at her back as Marinette starts scribbling, slowly and carefully, her gaze darting back and forth between the text and her notes.

“On the subject of Adrien,” he says carefully.  “Is it just me, or has he been paying a lot more attention to you recently?”

Marinette pauses for a second, then erases a line from her notes. “That’s possible,” she says.

“You’re taking this calmly.”

“You were expecting something else?”

“Yes,” Nino says.  “More flailing, freaking out, panicking, that sort of thing.”

Marinette turns around in her chair and raises an eyebrow at him. “Excuse me?”

“Just saying,” Nino says, “you have, in general, tended to freak whenever Adrien was involved.”

“I have not,” Marinette says, with a coloring of mild indignation to her words.

“Marinette, even Adrien was picking up on how weird you were acting around him,” Nino says.

Marinette frowns slightly.  “What do you mean?”

“I mean, like, before all this stupid crap with Chloe and stuff, back when you first met him,” Nino says.  “The flailing, the random squealing, the whole ‘hiding behind the nearest solid object or Alya whenever he’s around’ thing.”

Marinette blinks, a slow blush burning down from her ears into her cheeks and upwards from her shoulders.  After a minute, she looks down and mumbles, “Well, things have changed.”

“Dude,” Nino says.  “You’ve had him fawning over you for an entire week and you’ve kept your cool the entire time?  I’d say ‘things have changed’ is the understatement of the year.”

“No kidding,” Marinette says with a little laugh.

“Hey,” Adrien says, popping his head up through the trapdoor, making them both jump.  “Hey, Nino, you free for dinner?  Marinette’s parents want to know.”

“Uh, probably not,” Nino says.

“All right.”  Adrien shuts the trapdoor behind him and tromps down the stairs.

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this while Adrien’s around,” Marinette says.

“Yeah,” Nino says.

Marinette stands and stretches, wincing at the sharp-dull, sharp-dull aching pulse in her back, and brushes a sweat-damp lock of her hair back behind an ear.

She really ought to thank her dad after this.  She’d almost forgotten how much ass cleaning out the ovens sucked.

But hey, on the bright side making sure that the ovens were sparkling now meant less labor for the rest of the month.  Theoretically.

She just wishes that it felt like a plus, instead of like a herniated disc.

Well, punishment wasn’t supposed to be an all-expenses paid vacation, and it wasn’t as though she didn’t kinda sorta deserve it for going behind her parents’ back like that.

She was going to be grounded for so long when they found out about the Ladybug thing.

Her thoughts inexorably shift to Tikki, currently sulking nearby atop one of the counters.

A week had not changed the little spirit’s mind on the whole “tell my boyfriend, who is Chat Noir, that I am Ladybug, who also happens to have been the girl he has pined after for literally his entire career, which granted is only a few months at this point but will definitely help clear up any issues in the future and make our dating life much less awkward in the long run”, or made them more talkative on the subject.  Not a peep, not a word, not a single damn hint as to why they were so reluctant to let her tell him.

Frustrating in the extreme.

And what makes it worse, she reflects as she starts scrubbing the next oven, is that the kwami wouldn’t be so insistent if they didn’t have a very, very good reason.

She crawls inside the oven, wriggling flat on her back to fit, and bangs her head on something when she hears a sudden sharp rapping on the bakery’s front door.

“Ow,” she growls as she shimmies her way back out, rubbing the spot—that was going to leave a bruise.  Who the hell would come by at this hour?  Well, burglars, maybe, but they’d just try to smash in one of the windows, they wouldn’t knock.

Rap rap rap rap.

“All right, all right, I’m coming, what the hell do you—“

Adrien—Chat Noir, she corrects herself mentally—is standing on her front step.

She goggles at him for a moment as he waves cheerily.

“What the hell are you doing here this late,” Marinette hisses at him as she unlocks the door.  “Keep it down, we’re dead meat if Mama and Papa hear us.”

“Well, I had some time before my evening patrol,” Chat purrs as Marinette unlocks the security gate and pulls it open as quietly as she can.  “And I figured that I’d stop by to see my favorite—“

“Knock it off, Adrien,” Marinette says, “I’m serious, you’re not even supposed to be here unless it’s to help me study!  At least for another few weeks.”

Chat reaches behind him and pulls out a folded sheet of paper from his belt.  “I figured you might need this,” he says innocently.  “You know, for the test.”

Marinette stares blankly at it, then at his all-too-innocently-sunny expression.

Oh, fuck it.  She’d missed this.

“Come in,” she says resignedly, taking the paper from him and stuffing it into a pocket.  She pulls the security gate across and locks it again as Chat skips in, humming a little tune under his breath.

He engulfs her in a hug from behind, gently resting his chin on her shoulder.  Marinette jumps in surprise, nearly headbutting him as she instinctively jerks backwards, her heel twitching upwards in an entirely reflexive movement. Then she relaxes and sinks into the embrace.  Her hands move to rest languidly over his arms.

“I missed you,” he says.

Marinette snorts.  “You were here like, two hours ago.  And we’ll see each other tomorrow anyways.”

“I still missed you,” he says.  “And I missed this.  Being able to just be alone with you.”

“You are so needy,” she says, reaching up to scratch him behind an ear; he purrs and leans into her touch.  “And don’t pout at me like that.”

“You can’t even see my face,” he says.

“I can see your reflection in the glass, kitty,” Marinette says.  She pushes at his arms around her waist until he releases her, with many whines of protest.  “And don’t bother with the kitty eyes either.”

Chat turns the kitty eyes up to eleven as Marinette turns to face him with a small smile flitting about the edges of her composure, then up to twelve as she shows no sign of budging.

“I give,” he says after a minute.

“Hah!”  Marinette raises both fists in the air, walking a mock victory lap around Chat as he claps.  “Do I win anything, oh boyfriend-of-mine?”

The expression on his face drains, to be replaced nervous wariness.

“Uh, Chat?  What’s wrong?”

“Uh,” he says after a moment.  “That’s actually what I came here about, we never really got a chance to make it official, remember?”

“What?  Oh.”

Marinette, despite herself, flushes and looks down at her feet.

“You, uh,” Chat says, “um, ever done this before?”

“No,” Marinette says quickly, glancing up.  “No, you’d be my first.  I mean, if you want to be.”

“Oh, good,” he says.

The two stand a little bit apart from each other, staring at each other’s shoes, neither daring to make the first move.  Marinette almost laughs; they must’ve looked ridiculous, the two of them, standing there all bashful and coy and whatever.

And then, with that thought, her nervousness vanishes.

He was as nervous as she was.  Him. Perfect boy, whom she’d pined after for so long, was nervous, and she, little plain ol’ her, was the cause.  The sudden tide of light-headed relief almost makes her laugh.  She was standing here all sweaty and dirty and in her rumpled, baggy work clothes and Mr. Swoony Teenage Supermodel was the one looking for escape routes.

“You are such a dork,” Marinette says.

And then she stretches up on tiptoe and kisses him, lightly and chastely, on the lips.

Chat freezes as she leans into him, her hands on his shoulders, her eyes sliding shut, the corners of her mouth turning up in a small smile as she feels the warmth and the life and the trembling, breath-stealing fear in him as it drains away, to be replaced with the absolute reality of the moment and the unquestionable, unassailable truth of them, here and now, together.

He leans into the kiss, slowly, without passion, but with a growing and absolute surety in two unspoken things.

She’s his.

He’s hers.

After a timeless, breathless little eternity, Marinette pulls away and settles back onto her heels.  Her small smile grows wider as she sees the look on his face.

“Chat got your tongue?” she says.

Chat blinks and refocuses.  “I’m supposed to be the one with the terrible lines,” he says, reaching out to cup her cheek in one hand.  His ears twitch as Marinette leans into his touch, and he could swear that he hears the rapid thudding beat of her—or was it his?—heart as they hold each other’s gaze.

“So, uh,” Chat says after a long while.  He drops his hands to his sides.  “Do you need help with those?”

“Huh?”  Marinette blinks at him as she shifts mental gears.

“The ovens,” he says.

“Oh,” she says.  “Nah, I’m good.  I should be done in another ten, fifteen minutes.”

“It’d go faster if I helped.”

“It’s not big enough to fit both of us at the same time,” Marinette says, prodding him gently towards the front door.  “Besides, Mama and Papa would freak out if they saw you here.”

“I’m not entirely sure your parents are capable of that,” Chat says as she unlocks the gate.  “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow,” Marinette says.  She stretches up on tiptoe again and pecks him on the nose.  “Night.”

Chat takes her hand and presses a kiss to the back.  “Good evening, Princess,” he says.

Then he vanishes into the night.

Marinette locks up the bakery again and finishes cleaning the oven, then traipses upstairs, humming happily.

“Finished, dear?” Sabine asks as Marinette starts up the stairs to her room.

“Yes, Mama.”

“Good,” Sabine says.  “Don’t stay up too late, dear.”

“Or be entertaining any boys,” she calls as an afterthought.

“I promise, Mama,” Marinette says.

Marinette goes to her room, shuts the trapdoor, and is halfway through pulling her sleep clothes from her closet when she notices the phone on her rug.

“Huh.”

She glances over to where her own phone is charging on her desk, then back at the phone on her rug, then walks over and picks it up, turning it over in her hands.

Nino’s.  He must’ve dropped it during their study session.

She turns on the screen: four missed calls from a number labeled as “Home”. The calls must’ve come in when she was downstairs in the bakery.

Marinette shrugs and places the phone next to hers.  She can just give to him tomorrow, no big deal.

Marinette leaves and takes her shower, then, still floating along on cloud nine, curls up in her bed under her blankets, and falls asleep smiling.

Nino sprints down the sidewalk, legs churning, his every breath a knife in his chest.

Forget his phone, forget getting it back, forget all of that, there were more important things to worry about at the moment.  He needs to get back home, he needs to get to his computer, he needs to message Alya pronto, he needs to tell someone.

Holy.

Fuck.

Adrien was going to flip.