#akb gets personal

[the-smallest-mew]

I want to go take a nap but if I stand up I will disturb these two and I just can’t. 🥲

[outsideratheart]

Unstoppable (Leah Williamson x reader)

Based off this request. 

A/N: I really wasn’t in the writing mood but then i got this request and I wanted to celebrate today’s win. I hope you guys like it.

You had never doubted yourself more than you had in the past few weeks. You came back from an serious ankle injury the same game Beth tore her ACL and then Viv injured hers too. It lead to you been put back into the starting 11 ahead of plan and the pressure that the both you and the fans put on you was incredibly high. 

The international break was when things changed. The Arnold cup was a place to have fun and try new things. Sarina gave you the freedom to play how you liked and it payed off. You won top goal scorer and player of the tournament. You were proud of your performances and awards but it failed in comparison to the proudness your girlfriend felt. 

When Arsenal played Chelsea in the FA cup you felt like you were the only attacker that showed up, still you tried everything but AKB managed to save every single one of your shots. You left that game back to your old self doubting ways and it left only one option, brutal honesty. The next day you spent hours reviewing game tape and ignoring your girlfriend so when you arrived at Coloney the following morning Leah was not only in a mood with you but the rest of the forwards too because you gave them all your attention instead of her. After you explained what you’d learned from the tapes you worked with Stina, Caitlyn and a few of the coaching staff on ways you need to improve if you stand a chance against Chelsea in the Conti cup final. 

“You ready baby” Leah stood in between your legs after the team had emptied the locker room. 

“What if I can’t do it? You’ve seen the way I’ve been playing. What if I’ll never be the same as I was before the injury” 

The lack in confidence wasn’t something Leah could prepare herself for. You oozed the stuff when you played and it why you were the WSL’s top goal scorer. Lately she had seen the way you let people’s opinions get in your head whether it was from the media or reading fan comments on social media. Your head, which was once like Fort Knox, had become free entry for anyone who pleased. 

“Look at me” Leah uses her index finger to tilt your chin upwards. The forced movement meaning that you were now looking directly into the blue eyes you loved so much “I need you to go out there and have the same amount of faith in you as I do. We know how to beat Chelsea, you obsessed over the footage for hours, nobody knows more about this team than you. You are going to go out there and be unstoppable” 

Leah bends down slightly and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. An act which until this point never happen on game day but Leah knew you needed the reassurance which comes with the act of affection.

“Unstoppable” you mumble to yourself.

“That’s right baby and whilst you’re at it try to score a goal for me” She pulls you to your feet and together you enter the tunnel. As you walk out onto the pitch you have extra motivation to perform. Besides when your girlfriend asks for a goal you never disappoint and you wasn’t go to start today.

When Chelsea score within the first two minutes you feel the doubt and insecurities begin to rise but you ignore them and move on. It works because within ten minutes the ball finds its way into the back of the Chelsea net after you sent a rocket from outside the box. The goal itself was beautiful and your confident side is on full display. Leah is somehow the first one to you, whether that is because she was the closest or because your team mates knew how much this moment meant to you and Leah would be the person you wanted to celebrate with most.

The final whistle blows and you cannot believe you did it. Most of the world had written you and your team off for this game but you all proved them wrong and the look of the Chelsea player’s faces was the icing on the cake. You had a brief moment with Leah on the pitch but you knew better than to get to handsy with this many eyes watching. Jen passes you and Katie a small bottle of champagne, you being the responsible adult you are refused the drink but the Scottish defender tells you it was alcohol free. It passes the smell test so the three of the of you down most of the bottle then you read the label, you should have known better.

“We’re champions” Leah jumps on your back causes you to stumble a little “Are you drunk?” 

You never stumbled, not this much, so it was a giveaway that you had started the celebrations without her.

“I thought it was alcohol free” you reminded her of an innocent child and it was adorable. 

“Come on, we’ve got media to do with Alex” Leah grabbed your hand and together you walked towards the BBC stand.

The spotlight never came easy to you and once the final whistle was blown it didn’t take long for you to go back to your shy self. It was naive of you to think Alex and Farrah would only ask Leah questions seen as through you scored and won player of the match. After the first question, Katie comes out of nowhere and hands you another bottle of champagne, the two of your cheers and you drink more of it. The buzz you felt led to your first stage of intoxication, touchy. Leah answers her set of questions the best she could but you were out to make things more difficult. Your hand, which started by your side, found its way to the small of her back then ventured lower and lower until it rested comfortably on her bum. Alex chuckles when she catches you but you only raise your eyebrows in response, she had seen this side of you before and knew there was no stopping you.

You prove this point by pulling Leah to the locker room as soon as the interview is finished. 

“Whoah, what’s the rush?” Leah giggles as you quickly shut the locker room door.

“I don’t know how long i’ll have” you grab her hips her pull her close to you.

“For what?” 

“This” you crash your lips in Leah’s with passion. The way your body reacted when her lips were on yours amazed you. She had so much power over you and she didn’t even realise it. Your lips move in sync and with every kiss Leah take one step forward towards your locker. The back of you knees hit the seat making you sit down and Leah wastes no time in sitting on your lap with her legs either side of you. You hadn’t kissed her like this in weeks and your girlfriend was savouring every second. For a brief moment you forget about where you are. You let your hands roam her body before pulling her shirt over her head, she in suit does the same thing. She moves her attention to your neck, more specifically the spot she knows drives you wild.

“Eww” Beth says as she enters the locker room.

“This is a family event girls, we have kids present” Jen jokingly covers Gio’s eyes.

Leah, who is clearly more embarrassed than you, quickly gets up off your lap and makes herself presentable. You meanwhile sit back in frustration, only getting dressed when Leah throws a shirt at you.

With the two of you dressed the celebrations begin in the locker room. Jen passes you another bottle of champagne honestly stating that this one has alcohol in but given your new found frustrations down a few mouthfuls. 

Even though you won you still have notes on your performance and how you could have been better so you begin talking with a member of the coaching staff, diagrams are drawn on the board and the conversation gains the attention of Jonas who is intrigued by your strategies. He agrees to work on them when the team returns to training in two days time.

“This is great Y/N and today you proved everybody wrong” he hugged you and the praise was like music to your ears.

“Thanks gaffa” 

“Nice touch. Let me guess, it was Leah’s idea? she wanted the player of the matches shirt”

In a rush it seems Leah put your shirt on, leaving you to wear hers.

“Oh this” you pull at the shirt “Yes, you know how big of a fan she is” 

“Sure” It was clear he didn’t believe you but you didn’t care. 

You had waited 4 years for this moment. It had been a long silverware drought for Arsenal and you hoped that this win gave the team the confidence it needs to return to league football and challenge for the top spot. You were certainly ready for it and even though you were missing your injured team mates you know the team has what it takes to win.

“You two look good together”

Leah takes a quick photo of you with the trophy before taking a photo with both of you. She sends it to her mum followed by a message saying you’ll meet up with them soon.

The closeness in which Leah is sitting gives you the perfect opportunity to continue your mission from earlier. You pepper kisses on the back and side of her neck, smiling smugly when her head dips back in pleasure.

“I can’t wait till we are back in at the hotel” Leah turns and kiss you quickly.

“I don’t plan of waiting that long. You better tell your mum we will be late”

[just-pot-over-here]

Ok, of course, yes please also tell us about your favorite Crutchie and why!

LETS FUCKING GOOOO OKAY

i have no problem with AKB as a person!! just getting that out of the way because i WILL shit on his portrayal of Crutchie swiftly and without remorse.

AKB is very good at playing the happy-go-lucky, innocent, wide eyed comedic relief character. he plays the same type of character in tuck everlasting as Jesse, and in the Dracula reimagining he's in now. he's a good actor and he plays that typecast well!

the problem is, that isn't Crutchie. i feel like AKB drastically sanitized the character that was written in the script. he made Crutchie into this pure and wholesome caricature of a disabled person, who gets pushed around and defended and is always upbeat about it. The general atmosphere of fan spaces in 2017 didn't help that at all either. I remember a lot of infantilizing Crutchie, all sorts of "smol boi ray of sunshine" shit. he was treated like this defenseless, needy little thing. he wasn't a person.

I really feel like Matthew Duckett (an actual disabled actor! almost like it matters!) read the same script as AKB, and got a person out of it instead of a pity sponge. Matthew's Crutchie is, to put it plainly, a little shit. He antagonizes the Delanceys, fights cops, slingshots his friends when he gets bored. He's playful and funny, but he's also whip-smart, fast on his feet, and will talk shit like it's nobody's business. his doubt about the strike isn't him being scared and worried about fighting, it's him being a realist and a strategist, recognizing flaws in their plan that jack isn't even thinking about. He isn't this defenseless little blob that the other newsies have to constantly worry about, but a competent and capable part of the community. one of jack's right hands and confidants, an intelligent and necessary part of the strike. it makes it so much more devastating when he's taken to the refuge. jack falls apart because he's lost his friend, brother, and equal, not because he let poor little Crutchie get captured by the cops.

and when Matthew's Crutchie gets back from the refuge, he is happy to be back and see his friends, but he is also angry. he's angry and hurt and has a lot of other emotions going on, which you can see when he cuffs Snyder. he doesn't just bounce right back, he is affected tremendously. like a REAL GODDAMN PERSON.

i love how Matthew Duckett gave Crutchie room to be a capable, emotional character instead of a clean-cut sunny blob. you can really see that he isn't just Crutchie, he's Sean (or Charlie or whatever name you prefer), the real person.

AKB made Crutchie a caricature, Matthew Duckett brought him to life.

[puppyvenom]

crutchie - akb vs matthew duckett !!!!

alternatively titled - cast disabled people jesus christ

listen i am having so many thoughts and feelings about crutchie and at the risk of annoying the fuck out of my partner i am putting them on here instead!

prefacing this by saying:

i do not speak for all cripples

matthew’s duckett was my first real introduction to crutch and yes i am probably biased because of it (because matthew was an absolute sweetie when i met him)

i do not actually hate AKB as much as i dislike his crutchie

★

i think the main problem i have with his crutchie (and i understand that it is not entirely his fault at all!!!!) is that it’s so sanitised in so many ways. it is so of its time and not really in a good way, it came about in a period where representation wasn’t a big focus and i very much understand that, but i also hate it.

it’s so easy for disabled characters to fall into this weird ,sanitised, almost infantilising position, where their struggles are shown (abuse from the delanceys that was directly because of his disability, the fact he’s more likely to be put in the refuge because he’s seen as ‘weak’), but they’re bound by this kind of happy-go-lucky persona where they don’t show any real anger or upset. it’s fuelled by the abled need to see disabled characters as some sort of inspiration porn. “he’s crippled but look how happy he is despite that!!!!!! if he can do it i can too!!” he has this air of innocence and can-do-no-wrong that kinda falls a little flat compared to all his friends of the same age, and whilst this wouldn’t be a problem in itself, it fits a repeating pattern of the innocent, docile physically disabled person that is shown so much.

i loved matthew’s crutchie so much because he was so much more than that. he was happy, he was kind and an big laugh, but he didn’t shy away from being truly angry or scared (in the finale when he is brought back and cuffs snyder) and he was still a bit of a dick, he felt a lot more like he truly belonged. one of my favourite examples is at the start of the show the first time we see katherine, he helps one of the boys (i can’t remember which one) steal something from darcy and keeps it on him through the rest of the show. he’s as playful and annoying as the rest of them, shooting paper balls at them with his slingshot (especially during the finale, i love him so much for that). he has an attitude. he has the energy of a boy who was raised on the streets and knows what the fuck is what.

and thats what i think changes him the most for me. it’s all the same script (?) but it’s all so different when you think about how smart crutch actually is. i think the biggest change is my idea of him specifically when he’s being so nice to weasel at the beginning, when all the boys are being annoying and dicks, crutchie is so sweet. i don’t believe he’s doing that because he’s just such a nice guy who can look past weisel and the delancey’s being assholes to them, i think he realised quickly how to play the game. he’s gonna get sympathy, he knows that, and he knows if he acts all innocent and is overly kind, that they’ll somewhat pity him and he can use that to his advantage.

i hate being pitied by most people, i hate being looked at differently, like i’m almost helpless. but i also know how to use it to help myself, i know when i can play the poor little cripple card to my advantage. and i fully believe crutch does the same.

edited to add because i forgot to add this entire section in sorry!!

when i say sanitised i also mean literally. as in they made him cleaner. specifically in the finale again when he’s brought back from the refuge, broadway crutch looks way too clean. he’s a little bashed up but he’s not dirty. he doesn’t look like he’s been battered and then subjected to awful conditions. it takes away the impact of his time at the refuge. when he got back in the uk production they actively were disgusted by how much he smelled, because he’d just got out of a place where he couldn’t look after himself for a multitude of reasons. he suffered in there, mentally and physically, and in more ways than one. he was not given nice clean clothes and a pat on the back, he was taken out and put right back into the mess without much time to check himself over, without any time to process or heal.

i just think it has a much bigger impact when you can see, from his actual appearance and the other guys’ reactions, how much he actually struggled in there. they were glad to have him back of course, but it really drove home the point of how badly it affected him.

and once again in that scene, you could see the fear on his face and the anger when he faced snyder and when he made a move at him. he was fucking scared of the man that had subjected him to all of that. even when he was being a little goofy and put on the hat to handcuff him, there was still that fear, and there was evidence to why.

(end of edit)

but like i said, i don’t think it is entirely akb’s fault or his intention, he almost definitely wasn’t aware of the way it came off and how it perpetuates stereotypes. but it’s just another reason why giving disabled roles to disabled people is so important. plus we know how to use mobility aids properly

★

shoutout to my beloved partner who proof reads my shit and also is the reason i am into newsies . thank u babie @fizzloves-blog <3

[ethereal-bumble-bee]

Could you perhaps do Crutchie for the opinion list post?

Crutchie for the asks thing!!! :D

Favorite thing about him- Literally everything; I love how his character is so resilient and loyal to his fellow newsies, especially Jack. It’s some kind of a different kind of portrayal of those traits that just makes him such a like-able character, ESPECIALLY Matthew Duckett’s version of Crutchie.

Least favorite thing about him- Don’t get me wrong, I love AKB as much as the next person, but I don’t really love how childish and babygirl-ified livesies Crutchie is.

Favorite line- “And the things we do today will be tomorrow’s news!”

brOTP- Crutchie and Jack, 100%. Brothers for the win!

OTP- Honestly, I don’t ship Crutchie with anyone in the show. If I had to chose, though, I think it’d be Crutchie/Finch.

nOTP- Jack/Crutchie. I see them as brothers and nothing more, but no hate to anyone who ships them 👍

Random headcanon- Crutchie collects little buttons and keeps them around to give to Buttons just in case one of the other newsies needs a repair. He has, like, one hundred at this point

Unpopular opinion- Idk, really

Song I associate with him- either “Meet Me In The Woods” by Lord Huron or “Hurricane” by The Band of Heathens

Favorite picture of him-

Just look at his face lol

[grapefruit-personified]

I still don't get it, why Emma Hayes let Ann go. Yes, she didn't showed her best games, but for me this is no argument to replace her. Every player has a time in the career, where nothing works, this is pretty normal.

But as a Gotham fan also, I don't complain. I only say thank you Emma.

I truly don't understand some of Emma's decisions, and as someone whos personal fave keeper is older and at the moment injured I worry she will be pushed out of the national team the same way Emma did to AKB at Chelsea. I am loving AKB at Gotham tho, you can tell the fans love her, the team seems to be getting on well with her and I think she is already showing that she is thriving.

[auromelt]

since all four are played by idols, who among fujio tsukasa ryo and kohei do you think can sing and who can’t

oh i like this question 👁️ i’ve thought about it before, when the four of them released that ost (which btw is gunning for my soty on spotify wrapped). the actors are all such great singers it makes me feel a bit crazy that we’ll probably never get another song from them together 😒 but anyways onto the question! and i’m gonna add a little bit of karaoke headcanon because i’m mentally ill and i can’t stop thinking about it now.

can sing: ryo, tsukasa

can’t sing: fujio

will not ever sing unless for ryo: kohei

all four actors sing very well btw, so this next part purely refers to the characters. just a disclaimer. i spent some time on godforsaken nct stan twt the ppl there are literally insane.

headcanons

let’s imagine them in a karaoke setting. somehow all four of them ended up in a room together and no fights have erupted. here they’re just friends and not enemies where one side tried to kidnap and murder the other.

this will be a bit shippy because well… hehe :3 if you don’t wanna see that just stop reading at the part about the bill

fujio’s the first to grab the mic and he sqwaks into it. his lack of talent is absolutely incredible. tsukasa’s ears actually bleed a little.

like if anyone’s watched kaguya-sama love is war, it’s like shirogane trying to sing. he simply shouldn’t.

i imagine like… an akb song playing or something. or maybe like yoasobi and LiSA. but whoever it is, fujio is ruining the prestige of their musical careers by singing their songs.

but he’s having so much fun that nobody actually has the heart to stop him and he thinks he sounds great.

“nobody” until kohei snaps and grabs the mic and shoves it into ryo’s hands instead, instead of telling fujio he literally sucks, he just accuses him of hogging the mic and says it’s ryo’s turn

fujio pulls out the second mic and is like great suzaki lets duet 🤩 and tsukasa’s like erm no. and snatches the mic away and tsukasa and ryo do a duet which actually sounds pretty great

fujio: “you guys are just okay i guess :/” amagai: “you’re literally delusional”

anyways back to tsukasa and ryo, they sound incredible alone and together, it’s literally like listening to a live concert. fujio’s always known tsukasa can sing so he’s not surprised but this is all of their first times hearing ryo sing and who knew he possessed pipes like that. kohei might have to nepo him into a singing career at the end of the session

one song later and ryo’s trying to pass kohei the mic and kohei's like hell no. he already had no plans to sing but going after tsukasa and ryo is basically like trying to kill his own pride. he urges ryo to go ahead and tells him he liked hearing ryo sing, which makes ryo blush and tsukasa roll his eyes.

after a few songs, since they’re fair, they let fujio back on the mic before he can start sulking over it. back to torture. kohei walks out for “air” but really he’s just sick of hearing fujio’s voice

meanwhile, ryo seems to be the only person to not realise fujio can’t sing and he enjoys singing with fujio so they do a duet with the two microphones they were provided and fujio is delighted. he decides ryo has to be his karaoke buddy from now on because he’s “finally found someone who appreciates his talent and real music”

kohei ends up with the bill even though he didn’t even sing once and tsukasa and fujio leave immediately like peace out have fun settling that

szam part :3 (separated bc i feel nice today. don’t get used to it. szam are soulmates in my head.)

first, whether they’re dating or not is completely up to u, but there are definitely feelings involved 🙏

since fujio and tsukasa dipped, kohei and ryo are alone now and kohei’s like goddamn they’re finally gone and he drags ryo back to the room and extends their session another 45 minutes and tosses the mic to ryo like okay sing for me

kohei picks out all the songs from the machine that he wants ryo to sing for him and ryo does without a complaint, happy that kohei likes his voice, even if he’s a little shy with kohei’s gaze fixated on him while he sings and there are no more other people to lessen the intensity of the atmosphere

kohei makes sure ryo drinks enough water so his throat doesn’t shrivel up from all the singing and he kinda feels like a manager of a top idol which is not a pleasant feeling because in what world would he ever have to take orders from anyone? but it’s ryo so he just finds it kinda cute instead.

when the final song comes on, it’s a duet and ryo hesitates a little before offering kohei the other mic and looking at him with pleading eyes and kohei cant say no to those eyes or ryo’s hopeful expression. he takes the mic and joins ryo for the duet

kohei’s voice is mid. he’s not awful like fujio but he’s not good like ryo and tsukasa it’s just extremely mid. but because ryo is a bum loser who is in love with him, kohei sounds amazing to him and they finish the duet together with ryo beaming at him and kohei just smiling back, both fond and exasperated.

did i ever mention that kohei is like completely incapable of denying ryo anything in the auromelt cinematic universe? because he can’t

kohei makes ryo promise he’ll go with kohei to a studio he plans to rent and record some songs so kohei can add them to his playlist and he Would offer to make ryo an industry plant in the music industry as well but he doesn’t because he can’t imagine ryo getting fans and him having to share ryo’s attention

anyways big tl;dr ryo is unexpectedly the best singer of the four followed closely by tsukasa and then there’s a wall and then it’s kohei and then there’s 6 more walls and behind them is fujio. on that note, fujio and ryo are now karaoke buddies who go every 3 weeks or so. kohei always joins them just to listen to ryo, but he only sings when no one else but ryo is around.

[iheartmomochi]

giving the dearvo characters akb48 A-sides

Some of these might not exactly fit the vibe of the vocalists’ band style because akb is an idol group. This is very self indulgent as i just love idols and need to relate idols to all my other interests. I’m also a fairly new akb fan which is why i limited this to just a-sides! All the lyrics I use are taken directly from studio48

reodo -> ハート・エレキ | heart ereki (33rd single)

When passionate blood / Pounds through my body / My feelings go crazy / Can I gather them / In one finger? / If you notice / That you're loved / Let me know the truth!

For some reason I had the hardest time deciding what song to give reodo. Heart electric is definitely the slowest paced /least intense song on this list. Don’t really have much to say other than just listen to the song and imagine reo singing it.

joshua -> 10年桜 | 10nen zakura (11th single)

Somewhere the cherry blossom petals / Dance lightly in the wind / As someone flaps their wings / And heads out on their own / I want to be able to protect you even more

oldest akb single and most idol-IDOL-sounding song on this is list (especially the opening and last verse). the chorus is a good mix of longing while still being powerful, which i think his voice would suit really well! also i’m sure someone out there can look at these lyrics and imagine a slowburn childhood-friends-to-lovers.

I was incredibly tempted to give romance irane to joshua but i decided against it mainly because of the lyrics of it. but i think the actual song would work for him.

judah - river (14th single)

Inside your heart too / A river is flowing / So painful, a river of trial / Maybe it doesn't go smoothly, even so / Sometimes you're almost drown, even so / It's OK to repeat again

originally i was debating between giving judah river or koi tsun jatta but after thinking it over, i think river is a better fit! river is such a unique song. it’s starts off with a chant before the instrumental hits riding off the intensity of the opening but the chorus is so heartfelt. i think this song is just the perfect amount of intensity for judah!

2you - 根も葉もRumor | Ne mo ha mo Rumor (58th single)

Rumor Rumor Rumor Oh / Make up a rumor / I'll accept it / I'm sure you'll get it one day / The future, the past, all will become a rumor

i'm not gonna act like i'm that familiar with yu's personality but even with my limited knowledge, i really feel like this song fits! just like what i wrote for reo, just listen to the song and imagine yu singing it and you’ll see what i mean.

momochi - 元カレです | moto kare desu (59th single)

I know that I am self centered / Even if I think about an "If" / The wish will be vain in the end / Maybe I am still in love with you even now / What's wrong with me

moto kare desu is a song from the perspective of an ex boyfriend who sees his ex girlfriend with a new guy. the main reason i picked this song for him is because of the meaning… i want to hear momochi sing lines like “it doesn't matter who the hell he is / If you are happy enough with someone else beside me.” The stage outfits would also look really nice on him In My Opinion.

A’ - UZA (28th single)

You should display love your own way / You don't have to consider the other person / It's okay to love the way you think you should love / And if you're lucky, you might be loved in return

Uza is a more edm-like song with a cool use of autotune throughout the song! the meaning behind the song is also…interesting. i don’t think the lyrics are entirely applicable to atan but this song would go very nice with his voice and fits his style imo. and like all the other songs i was really having a hard time picking between uza and no way man. the lyrics of no way man definitely feel more suited for atan since it’s an uplifting song and not a song about… well i’ll let these lyrics speak for themselves. “I don't care if you're my girlfriend or not / Every time I think of morals I black out”

i really love akb so let me do a quick plug. koi tsun jatta is the a-side of the latest akb single, the full single will come out july 17! it’s sato airi’s first time centering a senbatsu! one of my favorite akb members will be center for one of the b-sides on the single (Surechigau Shunkan)! please check it out if you are interested!

[trippymockingquake]

Germany🙃….what was this game😐🫤… good job Denmark you all did amazing🙂🥳. All this talent on this team and yet we’re somehow playing like this. Not only can we see there’s a lack of communication on the pitch but there’s so many mistakes happening. This is like watching the US during the WC but worse… I’m thrilled other countries are catching up with those that were at the top for so long but the top countries still have so many talented players that I’m just really confused at this point. This is not just a managerial struggle this is an actual team struggle something isn’t clicking on the pitch and we can literally see it on each players face when a pass is turned over or someone was supposed to be somewhere and wasn’t.

The whole time we’ve been trying to find Popp and get the ball to her which leads us to turnovers or missed shots and I want Popp to score as much as the next person but if she can’t get open enough maybe let’s not pass to her let’s try to find literally any other person.

Missed shots happen cant even be mad at missed shots but I will be a bit grumpy that we called for a ball when we weren’t open… Like why are we doing that we aren’t open the other team could get it before us especially when there’s not just one opponent but two right there😭.

Defense!!! Where the, excuse my French, BUT WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU ALL KEEP DISAPPEARING TO?!? I swear half of the national teams defenses seem to just keep disappearing in these matches. There might be a total of one player who somehow makes it back to try to defend but the rest are still far behind. It’s the defense that keeps giving me anxiety in these games, midfield is is just out here doing their thing, forwards doing there’s, and then defense that likes to pretend they’re Houdini and preform the disappearing act on their keepers. Babes we can’t keep leaving the keepers like that😭. It’s like a game of chess okay the keeper is your queen and the goal is the king, if the ball gets by it’s checkmate, please protect your queen okay?

And while I love Frohms I’m hoping someone can explain why we don’t play AKB I haven’t seen her in a minute? Also not sure why we call Freigang up but hardly start her or sub her in? I sometimes wonder what would happen if we put the ones we sub-in into the staring line up and then sub-in the ones who would have started to see if it makes much of a difference.

Anyways guess I’ll be grumpy for the rest of this rainy day and type up this paper. Again congrats to Denmark this should be interesting to see who qualifies.

[iznsfw]

I must confess to you, fellow WIZ*One l, that I was one of those who wished to see the group disbanded. It isn't because I didn't love them anymore. Rather, it really hurt me to see their well-earned efforts being invalidated by those haters. I believe they only want to make us happy and yet, I for one cannot even do ONE DAMN THING to shield them from trouble since I cannot even approach them.

It really hurt me to see them part ways but still, I'm happy now that they're being recognized in their respective careers.

I wish that someday, when everything's okay, they can do a comeback. WIZ*One out.

I understand your point of view.

People love to invalidate IZ*ONE, especially on social media. I don't bother much with haters because come on, it's useless, but because I love the girls, I felt angry whenever people said their success was just because of a survival show. And when people said that the members were untalented and were only popular because of their visuals, which is insanely untrue.

While IZ*ONE are all beautiful, they each have their own talents that contribute to the authenticity of the group:

Yena, Yujin, Chaeyeon, and Eunbi are the aces of the group, and;

there's Ssamyul with their insane vocals.

Wonyoung's iconic lines and power as a center alongside Minju and Sakura are what draw people into the group.

Hitomi and Nako are the most stable vocal-wise and brought their knowledge of dancing to their Japanese groups after dizbandment.

Hyewon brings a lot to the group with her strong variety show personality and soft vocals that carry IZ*ONE's harmonies.

IZ*ONE went through a lot, too. Due to the pandemic, WIZ*ONEs weren't able to physically be there for them. Hyekkura always got hated on because they had zero lines and because they're falsely untalented. I was glad that they got to show off their voices (Hyem's solo, and Sakura's rap in Ssera.) People were hating on the "rigged" members even though the court declared that the girls were victims in the situation, too. Some creeps were sexualizing Yujin and Wonyoung even when they were minors. The best we could do was be their fans and report the pedos, and we did what we could, so don't feel bad.

I think they were held back in IZ*ONE, although they were excellent as twelve, so seeing them shine on their own makes me both proud and nostalgic. They're being recognized more and more. Eunbi's being called the best post-IZ soloist with her amazing discography. Yena and Yuri got their first win and are venturing into comebacks. Chaeyeon's song KNOCK is charting well. Minju and Hyewon getting modeling and acting deals left and right. Nako's on the path to becoming an actress, too, and Hitomi's shining as AKB's center. Annyeongz and Ssamkkura are now more popular than ever in their new groups and get to be the unnies like they wanted. I'm beyond proud of them and will support them forever.

I can only wish for a reunion, but I'll also support them if they wish to continue on their own paths because I love the girls.

So, I understand what you're saying and can agree with some. Let's all support the girls forever.

iz, out.

P.S. Sorry for the long post. I just love the girls so much.

[the-smallest-mew]

Just little working at a small church things: Using the men’s bathroom not as a gender-affirming action but to avoid the wasp in the women’s. You have no idea how it got in there.

[thewebbloghouse]

Ann didn't only point out the ageism. She also spoke about switching to the goalkeeping position "too late," and so she missed the DFB U-teams. And probably was not considered for a long time after that because of that. This is a stupid move by the DFB and also does happen in the men's team, not just for goalies either. Then you get players choosing to play for another country if possible (dual citizenship) even though they would have gladly played for Germany.

In my opinion, they should have invited her way earlier based on her performances, just so she can get familiar with the environment and the other players.

The DFB also tends to focus too much on players playing in the Bundesliga, and you have to perform way harder to be considered if you play outside Germany unless you're already an established part of the national team. Which is another stupid move, in my opinion. I don't know if other countries act similarly.

Personally, I'm not a big fan of specialising too early. It's actually beneficial to play all the different positions and even other sports.

You're right. That Ann was called up to late is something that other people pointed out too in the last years. That german players play abroad was for a long time a novum. AKB was one of the first player who did it and this was a big reason, why she got overlooked all the time and didn't got nominated for the NT.

Jess pointed it out aswell, that it was incredible that AKB made her debute with 30 on her insta post from the 1st december 2020. 😉

And yes, to play other positions before specialising as a goalkeeper can only help. Nadine Angerer was a striker before she moved to the goal. Hope Solo too. Both great goalies, who benefited from their former experience as outfield players.

I think german players are also to comfortable and stubborn to make the step abroad. Many players still think the Bundesliga is the best league. The DFB aswell.

[boysplanetrecaps]

Produce 48 Recaps: Auditions Begin (episode 1)

When we left off in my probably-unnecessary-but-still-necessary Rewatch Recap of Produce 48, the 96 girls had made their entrance into the huge studio, and the judges were just about to reveal themselves. Let's get to it!

The judges come out!

First, it’s Lee Hong Ki, a powerful vocalist, here to teach them to sing. He’s from FT Island, and amazingly, was in the *second* K-drama I ever watched, You’re Beautiful, which was fun at the time, but which I cannot actually recommend. I will say that Hong-ki is the best part of it despite his, let’s say, broad acting choices. 

The character he played on You’re Beautiful was named Jeremy, and I can’t help but think of him as Jeremy. So just understand that I will be calling him Jeremy for the duration of these recaps. Thank you. 

Here he is as Jeremy. He’s ACTING! 

Next, it’s Soyou, from Sistar. She was overshadowed by Hyolyn but is an excellent vocalist in her own right. She’s here to be the other vocal trainer. 

It wouldn’t be an MNET show without this asshole:

I don’t want to learn his name but he’s that choreographer/dance teacher/ sociopath who always makes sure that all of the trainees’ mental health is hanging on by the merest of threads. I’m going to call him Psychopath. Seriously, fuck this guy. I’ll note that he comes across as sweet and loveable in this episode but I can’t forgive him for the shit he pulled during Boys Planet. Nope. Never. He has earned my undying hatred. To be clear, I do not support sending him hate messages or harming him in any way. I will just quietly, and personally, hate him on my Tumblr which gets maybe 5 or 10 readers. 

And then there’s her:

Bae Yoon Jung! She’s also pretty intense, and I know she’s mean to them on the first day, but she has the capacity for normal human empathy, as I recall. I’m going to call her Dance Bae. That doesn’t mean that I co-sign on her casual cruelty. It’s just that it’s literally her name and it’s easy to remember.

I don’t remember this lady:

Her name is May J Lee and she’s also a dance trainer. She’s cute. Here’s to hoping she understands that the trainees are human beings!

It’s Cheetah, here to be the rap trainer! God, I love her song Villain so damn much. The video is great, too, but trigger warning for violence. “I could fix you, but I won’t.” HECK yeah. 

And special one-day trainer, Kahi, who was the dance trainer for PD101 Season 2.

Kahi was in After School, then “graduated” in June 2012, right around the same time that Gaeun joined. They undoubtedly have spent time together, so it’ll be interesting to see if they interact much in this episode. (Maybe Gaeun being on the show this season meant that Kahi couldn’t really be the judge for the whole time?) 

The judges glare holes into the trainees while explaining that they’ll be sorting them into groups -- A, B, C, D, and F -- based on skill level, with the ultimate goal of bringing them all up to A-grade. And now it’s time for these would-be performers to perform, and of course, they don’t want to actually perform. 

41:50 The Auditions Begin

The girls are nervous. Yoon Hae Sol (윤해솔), 20, former member of Aqua, lets out a gusty breath. And this girl is nervous too, whoever the heck she is. 

Kim Chaewon, it says on her nametag. Well, she’s cute. Meanwhile I’m fascinated by the shoe behind her. WHOSE SHOE IS THAT? WHAT IS THIS SHOE? 

The AKB-48 girls are even more nervous. Oda Erina, 21, in a stylish bob and a blue, yellow and white jacket is intimidated by the Korean girls. Mogi Shinobu, also 21, a living meme with blue furry sleeves, is so nervous she looks like she might cry. We love you, Shinobu.

Time for the first audition! Or at least, the audition that the editors have moved to the beginning of the episode, even though it was probably not the first one to happen in real time! Because they wanted to front-load excellent Korean auditions to emphasize the skill gap between the Korean and Japanese contestants! 

Audition 1: Yuehua

Kim Si Hyeon (김시현), age 18, in the long sleeved shirt, now a member of Everglow. 

Choi Ye Na (최예나), age 18, with her hair in a ponytail.

Wang Yi Ren (왕이런), age 17, pink shirt with black edges. She’s Chinese and is now a member of Everglow. 

We see a clip of the Yuehua girls back stage, where Choi Yena accidentally draws on the camera with red marker and then apologizes profusely. AND SHE NEVER WORKED IN KPOP AGAIN!!

Then we get a flashback of Gross Guy personally watching the auditions of all 96 girls prior to the filming of the first episode. He’s so gross. Ugh. He makes JYP seem like a sweet, safe guy. Anyway we find out that after Choi Yena performed her song, she asked to do an extra performance. She begins speaking in what sounds like decent Japanese and does a little miming routine with sound effects. She’s pretty charming, actually. 

Cut back to audition day. The Woolim girls are backstage waiting for their turn when they recognize Sihyeon from her time on PD101, Season 1. Sihyeon interviews that she’s embarrassed when she looks back at herself on PD101 and that she’s gotten a lot better since then. In fact, as we find out later, she got an F in that season. 

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Move by Little Mix 

My Thoughts: They do great, in my opinion. Siyheon has a great clear, strong voice and her English pronunciation is mostly pretty good. Yena and Yiren don’t sing as clearly, but their dancing is great and they have a lot of presence. God, Yiren sparkles so much! I feel like she’s getting bad advice from whoever is around her now, because in more recent Everglow performances she always seems so muted. Seeing this, I can see she’s capable of great stage presence -- I hope she finds her way back to this. I dig Everglow and just want them to keep living up to their potential. I would have given Siyheon an A and the other two Bs, I think, though it’s hard without seeing the other trainees to compare. 

The MNET Edit: The editing emphasizes Yiren and Yena more, but overall the editing is kind to all three. We see some of the Japanese girls saying “why is everyone so good”, almost as if this ISN’T the first team to go up. (Also, we see that other girls are already wearing their grade name tag, though they’re blurred out.) The judges give Yena an A and the other two get Bs, which I guess reminds us that as long as you *kind* of sing while you also dance a lot and are very charming, then…. you get an A. Anyway, A and B are fine.

The editors really want us to know that the Japanese girls are very worried about their auditions. It is true that they generally don’t have the training the Korean girls have -- I’m not commenting on their inherent worthiness, just their preparation. But the show really, really focuses on that. I’m sure at least some of the Korean girls were nervous too, but we don’t seem to be seeing clips of that on the show.

Auditions 2 and 3: Woolim and WM Entertainment

Next, the MNET editors decided to further confuse anyone who has previously confused WM Entertainment with Woolim Entertainment by overlapping these two agency’s auditions, same as they did when the girls entered the auditorium. Thanks, MNET editors! Thmeditors. We learn that Woolim manages Lovelyz, while WM manages Oh My Girl (their rivals), though now in 2023 I think we all know that Oh My Girl kind of won that particular fight. Apparently the girls view each other as rivals? ...? But do they, though?

Woolim is up first. They take a moment finding their places, and we learn that Eunbi is their leader/mom who brought them medicine and Japanese phrase books. What a good unnie! 

Left to right: Suyun, Eunbi, Sohee, Chaewon

Kim Chae Won (김채원), age 17   now: Le Sserafim   wearing a short sleeved white top, tie Kim So Hee (김소희), age 14  now: Rocket Punch  wearing pigtails Kim Su Yun (김수윤), age 17  now: Rocket Punch   wearing short sleeved black top Kwon Eun Bi (권은비), age 22   now: soloist wearing a tie, cardigan

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Ah-Choo by Lovelyz / Bad by Infinite

My thoughts: It’s always awkward when you have one member who’s 14 (and looks 12) and one who is 22 (and looks 25) -- they’re always going to sort of make one another look bad. But overall, this is actually a really good audition.  I watched it multiple times and didn’t pick up on any mistakes or bad moments. All four of them had kpop acceptable vocals that didn’t stand out as fantastic or terrible. Chaewon’s a tiny bit shaky on the high notes, but they are really high notes. Little Sohee’s dancing was less powerful than the others’, even during Ah-Choo, but that’s fine considering she’s so much younger. I did think they looked a tiny bit silly doing that super powerful choreography to Bad while still dressed to perform Ah-Choo, but the goal was to display different skills and they did that. Knowing how deep the hole can go, I think I would have given all these girls As or Bs, maybe a C for little Sohee. It’s hard to know for sure since it’s not always clear what is live singing and what’s the backup track. 

The MNET Edit is fair. The rest of the trainees appreciate their performance. 

Backstage, Lee Chaeyeon says Eun Bi caught her eye the most. I actually noticed Suyun a lot too, but her time will come later. 

The judges compliment their synchronization and ask to see them perform something else. They launch into a second performance, which seems equally well rehearsed. I don’t recognize the song off hand (if any of you do, feel free to let me know!) but they do a great job with it. Dance Bae says, in an almost irritated way, “why haven’t you debuted yet? You seem ready to me.” I think she’s speaking mainly to Eunbi, who smiles wide at the compliment. We won’t hear their grades until later, but I’ll tell you their grades now, because I just love subverting the MNET editing monkeys. Kwon Eun Bi gets an A, ChaeWon gets a B, and the other two get Cs. Maybe I’m just biased toward Suyun from knowing her now? It’s hard to say. But I still think a B would have been fairer for her. 

Next, WM Entertainment. The girls come out on stage and the judges immediately tell Chaeyeon she looks familiar. She acknowledges having been on Sixteen with Somi (2015) and on Kpop Star 3 (2013). She says that this time she really wants to show us what she’s got. The other girls are excited to see her dance.

Trainees: 

Lee Seung Hyeon (이승현), 17 now known as Riina in H1-Key, in the black shirt Lee Chae Yeon (이채연), 18, currently a soloist, in the pink shirt  Cho Yeong In (조영인), 16, in the white Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Shower, originally by Becky G

My thoughts: All three of them do well dancing wise. It’s not surprise that Chaeyeon would dance well, and she certainly outshines the other two, but Seunghyeon holds her own and Yeongin doesn’t look bad. I think vocally, Seunghyeon does the best job, but Chae’s belted note sounded good. Yeongin’s vocals were noticeably shaky compared to the other two’s. I think I would have given Yeongin a B or C, Chae would get an A, and Seunghyeon an A or a B depending on what the dance teachers said. Overall though it was a good audition. 

The MNET edit is again pretty kind. Everyone focuses on Chaeyeon, of course. When they’re done, the judges ask her to freestyle to Instruction by Jax Jones featuring Demi Lovato, and she dances in a style that’s really appropriate to the song. Everyone’s impressed. The judges announces the grades. Chaeyeon gets an A, which seems completely correct. The other two get Bs, which is ok. 

The editing is setting Kwon Eun Bi and Lee Chaeyeon up to be rivals. Surely, they must hate each other, if they’re both good dancers and their agencies are on the same street in Seoul! 

In the audience, Kojima Mako says to her friend, “It’s so amazing that I’m not even nervous anymore. Our friend Juri says to Shinozaki Ayana,  “I feel like I’m just watching a TV show.” Me too, Juri! We stan a relatable queen. But yeah, it’s more of the whole “the terrible, silly, weak Japanese girls are in awe of the mighty, powerful Korean girls” narrative that MNET’s editing monkeys keep pushing. 

Auditions 4 and 5: The Very Pretty Girls

Next, we have the introduction of two Very Pretty Girls:  Kim Min Ju (김민주), age 17 from Urban Works, in her colorful striped shirt, and Kang Hye Won (강혜원), age 18,  from 8D Creative in a blue mini dress with a big pink and white collar. The other trainees think that these two girls look like actresses, so maybe it’s no surprise that now (2023), they are in fact both actresses. I renew my complaint from earlier that I don’t understand why certain girls are considered prettier than the others, and remind you that this isn’t an insult to them, as they are certainly very pretty, but more of a compliment to the others, who I view as equally pretty. Isn’t Kwon Eun Bi just as pretty? Is she not? I don’t understand. I will be saying that a lot in these recaps so I guess I’ll just call it my Particularly Pretty Problem (PPP) and leave it at that. 

Agency:  8D Creative

Trainee: Kang Hye Won

In a pre-show interview, they ask her such questions as “were you always pretty?” and she says that yes, she is. This is the part of kpop I like least. She says that the position she wants is 청정 or purity. I guess I understand that -- there is usually a sexy member of a given group (see: Kai in Exo, Hyunjin in SKZ, Joy in Red Velvet, Soojin in G-Idle) and there’s usually a funny or approachable one (see: Chanyeol, Changbin, Wendy, Yuqi), so I could see there being a sort of pure or extra cute one. It’s not as crazy as it might sound.

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: You and I by IU (2011)

My Thoughts: Well, that was pretty terrible. There’s room at the bottom, but she barely dances and she only kind of sings. The singing is breathy, faint, and pitchy. The dancing is half hearted and my grandma could have done this choreo even after her stroke. She has negative stage presence. Also, to me, she always looks confused. There’s something about either her facial features or her expression that make her look bewildered. I’m sorry if she’s your favorite. She may have charming personality traits that I don’t know about yet. She’s just not particularly skilled in either singing or dancing. She should get an F. 

If you can’t handle me saying that about this audition, then I really suggest that you just not read any more of my recaps because I’m going to say stuff like this about bad auditions. I don’t care if she’s “pretty”. I don’t care if she has gone on to be successful. Other people -- Eun Bi, for example -- are pretty and they can also sing and dance. I believe that if you make your living as a singer and/or dancer, you should be able to sing and/or dance. 

The MNET edit:They don’t do her any favors, zooming in on her non-dancing and focusing on the judges’ reactions to her shaky high notes and nearly stationary body. When she’s done, she stands there with this look on her face, which is the way I always remember this girl looking and how I recognize her in her more recent endeavors. 

Dance Bae says, “Purity is all you have. F.”  Done and done. 

Agency:  Urban Works

Trainee:  Kim Min Ju 

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song:  No Matter What by BoA

My Thoughts: This was so much better than Hyewon’s audition. For one thing, she actually danced. She showed a variety of different actual dance steps, including legs, body, arms, head, face. She danced! The singing was extremely faint and I think a lot of it was the backing track, but this was leagues ahead. Without being able to clearly discern her singing, it’s so hard to tell, but I think I’d put her in C territory. 

The MNET edit:They show the judges adjusting their ear buds and looking bored or put off, and focused on a part where she dropped into a squat and looked a little awkward. But that was just the dance move! This was originally done as a partner dance and it was adapted for a single person (I think? Unless it was just made new, whole cloth?), so maybe they should have just cut that squatting part out -- it’s not her fault. They also show a girl in the audience looking bored (maybe cut in from a totally different performance). It’s not kind. Minju, you deserved better. 

They give her a D. I don’t know. Seems like they’re punishing her for being pretty. But maybe the singing was worse than I thought. 

I’m not going to comment on it every single time it happens, but just assume that after every performance there will be a reaction/voice over from a Japanese girl saying, “If that didn’t get an A, I’m going to get an F for sure” or “the Korean girls are so much better than me” or something like that. It’s constant. 

Auditions 6 and 7: The Punching Bags

These next two auditions are shown mainly to mock these trainees. Neither of them do a stellar job, but both deserved a little better than what they got.

We see a scrap of  the audition from Shin Su Hyun (신수현), a 22 year old represented by FAVE Entertainment. 

She’s performing Playing with Fire by Blackpink. I watched her full audition, but we only see a little bit of it in the actual show. She started off with rapping, which the edit doesn’t show; I think she’s going for a rap position, not a singing one, which helps excuse why her singing was weak. The dancing wasn’t great -- she was a beat or two ahead of the choreography (something I only noticed because I know the song so well). But I thought she at least had charisma. I think a C wouldn’t have been out of line, but I don’t know the rubric. The edit replays a part where she sort of does a chicken-dance wiggle during the chorus when that’s not quite what the choreo is like, but I had to go back and rewatch the original to see that the original choreo is different. The PWF choreography is kind of weird -- I’ve always thought so. What’s with the dogpaddling in the chorus, or that weird “drawing a line with your finger” at the end? Anyway, my point is that the edit makes her look even worse than she actually did. 

They intersperse her audition with the audition of Cube’s Han Cho Won -- she’s only 15 here, but you may now know her as one of the most popular members of Cube’s youngest girl group,  Lightsum. The edit here make her look like a complete idiot. If you watch her full audition, you’ll see that, yeah, it’s not great, but there are some extenuating circumstances.

The biggest problem is that the song was a poor choice. Red by Hyuna is a HYUNA song. Like a third of the lyrics are “red is Hyuna”, and there’s a whole 10 second segment where Hyuna just sits on the ground and flirts with the camera. It’s all about being sexy and having a nice body, specifically a nice butt, and the choreography is very core/waist/butt centered. It seems that Chowon just can’t quite move her body that way, and at 15, maybe just isn’t up the task of embodying the universal sex symbol that is a full-grown Hyuna. I don’t know who is! 

Anyway, I think Chowon should have done Pepe by CLC, assuming she was going to stick to a song by a Cube artist. The song has a fun retro feel and it would have been more appropriate for a 15 year old who doesn’t know how to twerk yet. Or maybe Pretty Pretty by Pentagon -- I bet Hui would have helped her remix something for the show if the agency had asked him to -- he's a good sunbae -- and the song has quirky, funny choreography that might have made the judges smile. Sigh. 

Poor Chowon -- it wasn’t a great audition, but I blame whoever either told her to do this song, or allowed her to do it if it was her choice. The whole point of having management is to get smart people to help you make decisions like this, especially when you’re fifteen. But that’s asking too much from Cube, I guess. Kahi even says that she had been at Cube briefly and that they don’t teach you anything, which checks out. Cube is just the WORST. 

Both Chowon and Suhyun get a lecture on needing to learn (or review) the basics and both get a D. It’s not totally unfair -- it’s just that I know that there is so much worse to come. 

More discussion about how the Japanese girls aren’t really given any training and just learn to perform by watching their sempai/sunbae/seniors. Dance Bae says it’ll be fun to watch them grow. 

And now it’s time to see the AKB48 girls perform. We see that they’ve changed out of their entrance outfits -- those plaid monstrosities -- into different outfits, most of which are also monstrosities. 

Audition 8: Get You!

See, it's a play on words because the song is called Get You and also MNET wants to get them

Agency:  AKB48

Trainees: Oda Erina 21, and Nakano Ikumi 17

Erina, left, with the shorter hair and Ikumi, right, in the blue shorts.

The judges comment that Erina is known for her singing and Ikumi for her dancing. 

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Get You! by Morning Musume (a different J-pop idol group)

My Thoughts: Well, this wasn’t terrible. They do sort of take turns either singing or dancing, and rarely do both at the same time. The choreography they do is mostly extremely simple and not super well synced, but they do throw themselves into it. They have a lot of energy, which I know is important in J-pop. If you asked me, “which of these is the singer and which of these is the dancer?” I wouldn’t be able to tell you. But neither of them assaulted my ears. Judged by J-pop standards, this was great. By K-pop standards, not great. I’d give them a C and see how they do learning the choreography for the signal song.

The MNET edit: The edit makes it seem much worse than it really was. Honestly, it wasn’t that horrific. They were more fun to watch than Kang Hye Won for sure. 

The judges ask Ikumi to freestyle dance, which she agrees to with an English “Yes!” They play “Look What You Made Me Do” by Taylor Swift. She tries to do a sort of interpretive dance thing, and I appreciate that she at least tried. She has lovely body lines and seems to understand rhythm and tone, anyway. They keep showing her trip a little on her platform sneakers. God, those things look hard to dance in. After a bit she seems to give up, pulling her hair over her face, and the judges call it. Her AKB-mates are impressed, but the judges aren’t. 

Dance Bae compliments her on her energy, but says she seems to not know what to do with it. “I’m not sure that the fact that you danced to the beat warrants you having won first place in a large competition,” Dance Bae scolds. “If you keep continuing like this, you won’t ever be able to perform on stage.” 

Ikumi gets a D, and Erina gets a C. We don’t actually see that, though -- I had to look it up. It’s not part of the narrative to see that neither of them got an F, I guess.

Next, we have a mini montage of various girls, especially Japanese girls, saying that Dance Bae is the scariest judge, known for her terrifying line: “You really want to be a singer?!?” Which I think is a fair question! So many people get into the Idol Biz because they want to be actors or tv hosts -- I wish there was a pipeline to celebrity for people like that that didn’t involve them humiliating themselves on a show like this. 

Auditions 9 and 10: What’s Your Name and Knock Knock

We cut to another audition, in progress, with a caption that seems to imply that this is just a preview (“Coming up…”) but no, this is the actual audition, as much of it as we’re going to see.

AKB: What’s Your Name?

Here’s the original song being performed by 4Minute. Things were different in 2013 -- this was before Catch Me If You Can by SNSD came out so nobody yet knew that women were actually able to do intense choreo, I guess. But even for 2013 standards, What’s Your Name has easy choreo. I mean, it barely has choreo aside from just sort of bending over and displaying your butt. Also, the lyrics are three quarters “what’s your name/ ireumi mwoyeyo?” So it’s a really good choice for a rookie group!

Here’s their audition.

Left to right: Manami, Ayana, Chiyori, Miho, Shinobu

Ichikawa Manami, 18, in the blue top, red skirt Shinozaki Ayana, 22, in the light blue skirt Nakanishi Chiyori, 23, in the pink fluffy skirt Miyazaki Miho, 24, in the sparkly top, navy skirt Mogi Shinobu, 21, in the turquoise skirt, fluffy blue sleeves

We just met Shinobu earlier, when she was talking about how scary Dance Bae is, got her name wrong, an apologized profusely. She's our living meme and we love her. We also almost met Miho; she was the one who knows how to write in Korean.

My thoughts: Oh no. There’s something so incongruous about someone in a sparkly cupcake skirt and Mary Jane shoes doing a pelvic thrust. These outfits look like… Ok maybe this is a deep cut but do you know those fashion plate toys? I had my cousin’s old one and I was obsessed. It was like stencils, but you had a head and a top part and a bottom part, and you’d choose one of each and then stencil over it to make a picture you could color.

That’s what these outfits look like. Like someone went nuts with a fashion plate and glitter glue and then just brought it to life.

Left to right: Shinobu, Chiyori, Ayana, Manami, Miho

It’s so hard to pay attention to their performance in those outfits. And the shoes! Those shoes I noticed behind Chaewon earlier are Shonbu's! And I’m obsessed with Ayana’s red-shoe-and-patterned-socks combo.

Also Miho’s and Shinobu’s… furry… peplums? And the quilted skirts? And how none of the tops seem to go with any of the bottoms, even though they appear to be dresses? Question Mark? It’s so bizarre to me. What. Is. Happening. Each dress is awful alone, they’re worse together, they're even worse with the shoes, and they’re the worst in the context of this particular song, which is meant to be sort of swaggy hiphop. 

When I try to focus on the actual singing and dancing, there isn’t much there to judge. The song itself is kind of a nothing-burger tune wise and there’s hardly any choreo to speak of. They have energy, I’ll give them that. No one strikes an obviously horrendously bad note or falls over. They manage to do what they’re doing in some reasonably high heeled shoes, and they’re singing a song that is at least mostly in Korean. It’s clearly not up to the standard expected from debuted Kpop artists. I feel like I’d have to see them in normal clothes to be able to really judge. None of them stands out as better or worse than the rest. I give them an E for effort and I’d probably give them all Ds. They were still better than Hyewon. 

Dance Bae gives Chiyori and Miho both Ds, and the rest get Fs. (We hear Dance Bae saying that they all get Ds, but the on screen caption says otherwise, and my internet sleuthing agrees with the on screen caption.) I think, watching it back, that Chiyori and Miho got Ds for just taking on a big role in the performance and trying that little bit harder. Miho seemed to be the main vocal, sort of, and Chiyori was the center. 

Ok, let’s take a peek at some of the youngest -48 girls, singing the Japanese version of Knock Knock by Twice.

Asai Yuka is 14 and from SKE48.  We met her earlier when she walked in with Jurina. Umeyama Cocona is also 14 and is from NMB48. 

Left to right: Cocona with the big bow, Yuka with the blue ribbon

My thoughts: Aww, they just little babies! They probably practiced by themselves in a hallway or something for a few hours with no help. There’s not much to judge here. They’re obviously underskilled for this show and would have to be given Fs but it’s not their fault. I’m not going to make fun of a couple of 14 year olds who signed up for an adventure, not knowing how hard it would be. I sense tears in the future. 

I wrote that, and then watched Dance Bae give them both Fs and say, at a pre-show meeting, “I think these girls will cry a lot while they’re here.” Perhaps she’d be pleased to know that poor Cocona withdrew from the show before the second evaluation even took place! There's also some potential back story here. Per reddit:

From what I’ve heard (and I’m not sure how credible it is), Jurina and Yuuka planned to perform together for the first evaluation, but the producers wanted Jurina to do a solo, so Cocona got pulled from the NMB group [that performs Funny People] and her and Yuuka did this. That may explain why they did…particularly bad, to the point where it looks like they don’t even know the song.

That does sound like something MNET would do, and it also would explain how these two girls ended up in a performance together despite being in different groups (SKE48 and NMB48), giving it the ring of truth. So I'm going to be even more sparing of my criticism of the girls. They do come across as unprepared, but I think that's just because.... well, they were, through no fault of their own.

In any case, Cocona is one of the Japanese trainees who withdraws early in the process. It's probably for the reasons we'd imagine -- flying back and forth from Japan is taxing, and she's young enough to need to go to school still. She probably just wanted to go through so much stress just to get insulted and yelled at. Can't blame her!

Since we’re not going to see much of Cocona again, let’s find out what happened to her after she withdrew from the show. She went back to NMB48 and continued performing with them for a few more years, graduating at a special concert on March 26, 2022. She did some modeling for magazines in 2020, so she might still be pursuing that. Here’s her instagram -- she has 95,000 followers and seems to post influencer-esque content with lots of hashtags.

 Ganbatte, Cocona! Happy trails and much success to you!

10 auditions down, about 30 to go! Thanks for reading so far -- feel free to do all the things: like, reblog, comment, share, blah blah blah. Tune in next time when we continue the auditions, and stay warm, my friends!

[tomorowisjustamystery]

Alexia Putellas said she and Mariona did their little back and forth before she took it to try and confuse the goalkeeper clearly not realising that AKB was the keeper, and she didn't care who took it, it wasn't getting through 😂

Hahah I have to laugh

Trying to confuse Akb before a pen

She’s def the person in control and no one can confuse her

[brynnmclean]

Projects:

AKB Post-Mortem clean up notes because looking at the sprawl of my handwriting over my question list is wild and I'd like to distill the information down into something I can post and pin for my players so we remember some of what we talked about in the far off future where I'm running the game again

Would also love to finish a big compilation of my AKB Recaps for the whole arc, but that is very much a long-term, personal project

I want to get back to working on fell in love with the fire before ROP S2 drops in August, just to keep my Uncorrupted Mairon fresh in my brain (goal is to at least get through the Melkor/Mairon in Tirion scene... though would also love to get through Mairon's Trial... I have to try not to overthink it and put too much pressure on myself!)

ADDITIONALLY, as of yet untitled Hellblade II AU fic, Thorgestr POV, I am Thinking a lot of Thoughts so hopefully I'll be making some actual progress there soon

[grapefruit-personified]

akb has also managed to set up a persona where no one ever asks her about her personal life 😂 jess as well sort of, but akb gets asked about football or cancer and then talks about football regardless of what she's asked 😂

Not only does she already rarely do interviews she is there for one purpose and one purpose only don’t you dare try and sway her off topic 😂