#aka I like inflicting suffering <- is suffering from own ideas

[leafeyrune]

[rhiannonsknife]

Rhiannon taking care of r on their period? (Aka mine suddenly came early and I am Suffering with a capital S 😭)

-🔆

i feel you 🔆 anon!! my cycle has been a fucking MESS lately, so this is purely self indulgent…🙂‍↕️

the cramps hit you like a freight train, sharp and sudden, and you’re halfway to curling into a ball on your bed when the door creaks open.

rhiannon leans against the doorframe, her sharp gaze softening the moment she sees you clutching your stomach. “that bad, huh?” she asks, stepping into the room.

“you have no idea,” you groan, burying your face deeper into your pillows. “it’s early, too! i wasn’t ready for this!”

she clicks her tongue in sympathy, stepping closer. “early? now that’s just cruel!” her hand rests lightly on your back. “alright, stay put. i’ll handle it”

you half expect rhiannon to leave, but she doesn’t. instead, she pulls a heating pad from the shelf where you’d stashed it, plugs it in, and tests the heat against her hand before placing it gently on your lower stomach. “warm enough?” she asks, her voice oddly soft.

when you give her a quick nod, she adjusts it slightly, making sure it sits just right before she sets about gathering the rest of all essentials. she grabs one of your favorite cozy blankets from the chair in the corner, shaking it out, then tucking it snugly around you.

“i’ll be right back,” rhiannon assures, brushing a stray hair from your forehead where her fingers linger for just a second. she returns minutes later, balancing a steaming mug of tea in one hand and some over-the-counter painkillers in the other. she hands both over without a word, waiting patiently as you sip the tea and swallow the pills, then sits down beside you on the edge of the bed. her weight makes the mattress dip just enough to make you lean toward her.

“anything else you need?” she asks, her tone so soft you barely recognize it as her own.

“you,” you mumble, shifting so your head can rest against her thigh.

rhiannon chuckles as she begins running her fingers through your hair, her free hand rubbing slow, soothing circles on your back. “you’re such a baby,” she teases. “good thing u don’t mind taking care of you”

rhiannon, who’s always willing to go on emergency supply runs for you.

whether it’s 7 in the morning or pushing midnight, if you’re out of supplies, rhiannon is on it immediately. she barely even lets you finish mumbling, “i think we ran out of…” before she’s grabbing her keys! not even ten minutes later and your phone buzzes with a text.

do you want the chocolate bar with caramel or the peanut butter one?

you smile faintly at the screen, the cramps momentarily forgotten. when you text back that you’re fine with either chocolate bar, her reply is immediate.

not helpful. i’ll get both.

rhiannon who always does her very best to relieve your pain somehow.

as much of a pro she is when it comes to inflicting pain, she hates to see you even slightly uncomfortable. her hands are firm but gentle as she rubs slow circles on your lower back, her touch instinctively finding the exact spots that hurt the most. “tell me if i’m pressing too hard,” she murmurs, though her touch is always just right: never too light to feel useless, never too firm to be uncomfortable. she doesn’t rush it either. her movements are steady and patient, her focus entirely on making you feel better, even if it’s just a little bit. when you sigh in relief or lean into her hands, rhiannon takes it as a small victory already. “better?” she’ll ask occasionally, her tone full of gentle care.

rhiannon, who’s always down for some cuddles, especially when you’re physically unwell.

she’s not the most physically affectionate person by default, mostly because she’s not used to having somebody around. but whenever she notices that you’re in pain, that whole tough exterior of hers softens instantly. without another word, rhiannon pulls you into her lap, her strong arms wrapping around you protectively <33

rhiannon, who secretly sets a reminder on her phone for your next expected cycle.

she lowkey uses the period tracker app to track your cycle, not her own!! she even adds a buffer day or two, just in case, and logs all your symptoms. you catch her once, frowning at her phone, her thumb tapping quickly. “what are you doing?” you ask. “making sure we’re ready,” rhiannon replies without looking up. “i’m not letting this sneak up on us again!”

and she means it. she logs your symptoms as soon as you mention them, a headache, cramps, mood swings, so she can predict the next time they might hit. she sets reminders for herself to restock supplies before they run out and makes mental notes to grab your favorite comfort snacks when the time comes. it’s surprisingly sweet, even if she’s a little obsessive about it. “you don’t have to do all that,” you tell her once, feeling a little embarrassed by just how thorough she is. rhiannon just shrugs. “i want to. makes things easier, doesn’t it?”

rhiannon, who keeps an eye on you all week long…

…watching for even the smallest sign that you’re struggling. she doesn’t make a big deal out of it, but she’s attentive, always catching you when you wince from a cramp or when you zone out, overwhelmed by the pain. on particular shitty days, she’ll frequently check in on you. “how’re you holding up?” rhiannon asks then. if you don’t answer right away, or if you give her a quiet, strained “fine,” she’s already on it.

“okay, we’re taking a break,” she decides firmly. “couch. now!”

[lu-is-not-ok]

While we're psychoanalyzing the EGOs, what are your opinions on Dimensional Shredder? Deffo something on freedom there, but I'm having trouble putting it to words myself.

Alright, another shared E.G.O. Cracks knuckles.

You know the drill, under cut we go.

So let's talk about Wayward Passenger as an abnormality first. It's a representation of the horrible things W Corp puts people through on their WARP trains given form. In a way, that makes it similar to abnormalities like Mountain of Smiling Bodies or CENSORED (if you subscribe to the smoke war monster theory).

The dungeon event in which we meet Wayward Passenger is especially telling in what themes it wants to carry. The narration mentions that the corporation responsible for disappearance will simply pretend that this person never existed. The reveal that the Passenger was actually a W Corp employee further adds to this.

(Also, random tangent, but am I the only one that got reminded of Bongcheon-Dong Ghost by this abno's event? Something about having to point a terrifying monster in a direction away from you and hope it doesn't come back just brought back memories. At least the Passenger has enough manners to not jumpscare you.)

When it comes to the abnormality itself, Wayward Passenger carries themes of corporate exploitation and negligence, specifically in the way W Corp might find its employees expendable and doesn't care about inflicting suffering upon its clients as long as they profit from it.

There are also some themes of abandonment and being lost, but also tenacity in spite of it. Despite not being able to escape, Wayward Passanger still searches for a way out and never stops moving forward.

So. With all that being said. How does it all tie back to Hong Lu and Yi Sang, as they are the ones with Dimension Shredder?

Thanks to Canto IV we now know that Yi Sang absolutely fits under the exploited by corporate greed umbrella. It's a major theme of his whole chapter in fact! The themes of being lost are also reflected in Yi Sang's aimlessness after the League collapsed. He was completely lost and effectively abandoned by everyone except Gubo, only to be further exploited by even more corporate greed.

Hell, you could even say his character arc in his Canto represents that tenacity in spite of being lost I mentioned. Though his goal might not be all that clear, he still wants to keep going and keep moving forward, no matter what.

When it comes to Hong Lu, we don't have nearly as much information... But we can speculate! I think in this case the "corporate exploitation" is less literally corporate, but still applicable. I'm talking about Hong Lu's family, of course. Though we don't know much, we do get quite a few hints about his family exploiting him for their own gain, especially now that we're getting a Hong Lu ID that is quite literally based on the idea of paralleling that part of him with Actual Corporate Exploitation!

With how cagey Hong Lu is about the deeper parts of his past, and how hard it is to tell when he's being genuine, it's honestly hard to pinpoint any of the other themes onto him.

However, we could work a little bit backwards here and see how Wayward Passenger might apply to Hong Lu's recurring themes of freedom.

In that way, we could be onto something here. Wayward Passenger is no longer under W Corp's protection, if it ever was. It's lost and abandoned by the thing that was supposed to be protecting it... But on the other hand, it is free now. W Corp can't reach it anymore. It can go wherever it wants and nothing will stop it.

If you want to translate that to how that might apply to Hong Lu, then you could interpret that as a sign that Hong Lu can only attain "true" freedom by severing ties with the thing exploiting him, aka his family... At the cost of losing the comfort and protection they offered him, as little as it may have been.

You could say that idea is reflected in Tingtang Hong Lu. Yes, he is probably the most free when it comes to authority bearing down on him compared to all his other IDs. ...But he's also a gambler living in the Backstreets leading a gang so incompetent he has to threaten them with death to keep them in line. He may be free, but his life is far from comfortable.

...I think it's funny that I already wrote that much and I haven't even touched the actual E.G.Os themselves, whoops! Let's go do that.

First thing to note about Dimension Shredder is that its damage type is Pride, especially since Yi Sang's version doesn't even *require* Pride resources. In fact, Dimension Shredder is the only non-base E.G.O that deals Pride damage.

To go a little bit deeper into that, all of the base E.G.O that deal Pride damage seem to imply taking an action while ignoring the consequences that might follow them. Rodion's What Is Cast is the most obvious example here, representing her murder of the pawnbroker without considering how the Middle would react to one of their family being killed. Likewise, Outis, Meursault, and Faust seem to carry similar ideas. Outis reminding herself of the Odyssey's purpose, as if trying to cope with the unforseen consequences of her actions. Meursault acting out despite noting how doing so only tightens the chains of those judging him. Faust opening herself to knowledge and possibilities regardless of what it may do.

In a way, that is what Pride is at its core. Performing actions purely because of what benefit they bring to oneself, without considering the drawbacks and consequences.

There's a couple of ways we could interpret that with Dimension Shredder.

For one, we could zoom back out to what Wayward Passenger represents. Dimension Shredder being a Pride E.G.O could be signifying the Pride inherent in corporate exploitation. By its very nature, it's an action done purely for the corporation's benefit, without considering the consequences on other people.

The other is a bit more directly applicable to Yi Sang and Hong Lu themselves. It could represent how they, and the abnormality included, continue moving forward regardless of what may stand in their way. Regardless what the consequences may be for doing so.

During the attack animations for both Dimension Shredder Awakenings, we see Yi Sang and Hong Lu enter a dimensional rift they make, with both of them notably hesitating before doing so. Judging by Hong Lu's expression when he exits the rift, it's not exactly a pleasant experience. And yet, they both do it anyway. The benefit of continuing to move outweighs the damage it may inflict on them, so they ignore the consequences. I think it kinda points to my second interpretation above.

When it comes to Sin Resources, both Yi Sang and Hong Lu require Gluttony, but while Hong Lu requires Pride, Yi Sang requires Sloth. Let's dissect it one at a time.

Gluttony in Limbus Company has two meanings, in my opinion. On one hand, there's the Greed-adjacent aspect, where it represents the want for more and more. This neverending need for growth, for consumption, for progress. On the other hand, when it's seen in a more sympathetic light, it can represent the actions one commits for the sake of one's own Survival.

When it comes to Dimension Shredder, I think it's a little bit of both for both Hong Lu and Yi Sang. They both need Gluttony to survive in an environment where they're actively being exploited, but at the same time they need Gluttony to keep moving further and further forward, to keep making progress endlessly.

For the other Resources that each of them uses, I think it specifically represents what part of them is what allows them to be easily exploited by those above them.

Sloth for Yi Sang represents his apathy and passiveness. He gets exploited because he doesn't care enough about himself to fight back against it. Why bother? It doesn't matter, everything and everyone else was exploited, so why stand up to being exploited yourself? While this is something that Yi Sang starts to come out of by the end of Canto IV, I doubt it's a habit that will be easy for him to break just like that.

The fact that Pride is a resource here for Hong Lu paints his passiveness when being exploited under a different light. He doesn't buckle because he's apathetic like Yi Sang, it's because he believes that the benefits of letting himself be exploited outweigh the drawbacks enough to ignore them. If we apply this to his family exploiting him, it paints a pretty vivid picture. Sure, he is being used and hurt by his family, but just accepting that it happens means he still gets to enjoy the comfort and "love" they give him. Because what happens if he stands up to them? He likely gets punished. He loses that comfort he relies on. So he'd rather just bear the pain and pretend everything is okay, because the alternative is far worse.

Now, let's examine the dialogue lines, because I think they are very interesting with all of that analysis behind us.

For starters, I think for both Dimension Shredder users, their Awakening lines are a reflection of their coping mechanism in the face of being exploited being pushed to its absolute limits.

Yi Sang's Awakening line is a reflection of how he tries to throw himself into research and scholarly pursuits as a form of escapism from his reality. Whether it's his activities with the League, or his dependency on the Mirror, we see in Canto IV that he turns to acting the part of a researcher when faced with corporate exploitation.

Likewise, while using Dimension Shredder he makes notes of his surroundings like a researcher traversing the space. Noting the enchanting colors and how he can't memorize the path he's on. However, his tone of voice is a lot more... manic? It's emotional, seemingly entranced by what he's seeing. I think it signifies how, when pushed to his limits, Yi Sang would completely throw himself into his research, to a perhaps almost obsessive degree.

Hong Lu's Awakening line on the other hand reflects how he tries to keep a happy tone regardless of the circumstances. His defense mechanism is hiding what he's truly feeling behind a mask of smiles and jokes.

Tingtang and Kurokumo Hong Lu are probably the best examples of this. While having a constant jovial tone, Tingtang Hong Lu is an utter piece of shit only using kindness as a thin veil to hide his actual intentions. Kurokumo Hong Lu on the other hand uses a somewhat polite tone despite the fact he clearly does not respect anyone. It's even more obvious with the latter when you examine his post-uptie illustration more closely. While he wears a smile on his face, the veins shown on the hand clutching his sword say that he's not as calm as he seems.

While using Dimension Shredder, Hong Lu tries to keep up his smiling facade... Except this time, he fails. At his very limit, he's too worn down and tired of the abuse to pretend he's fine. The words do come out, but he can't make them sound the way he wants to anymore. The mask finally cracks under the pressure.

Matching with how the Awakening lines share a specific theme, the Corrosion lines do as well. Dimension Shredder Corroded dialogue lines all seem to express some form of realization that they are finally free.

Yi Sang's Corrosion line describes how the alley he's going down does in fact have an exit. It's an open one. Not only is it a reference to Poem No. 1 from Crow's Eye View, but the way Yi Sang speaks it is very interesting here. His tone is fully confident, and even seems to lack the usual tired breathiness that Yi Sang usually has.

Good thing I'm writing this after Canto IV has come out, because... All of that is reflected in Yi Sang's character arc. He does realize that the alley is open. He does realize he can keep moving forward. And, most importantly, he does gain the confidence to not let himself be stopped.

With all of that context, let's look at Hong Lu's Corrosion line. His dialogue line expresses how nobody (or nothing) is forcing him to "be located there", causing him to fall into a fit of gasping laughter. There is something. Incredibly disturbing about this line to me. It's this dichotomy between Hong Lu hesitantly realizing that he's no longer stuck, that nobody is ordering him around anymore, and his downright histerical sounding delivery.

Since we don't have Hong Lu's Canto just yet, I can't do the same comparison as I did with Yi Sang... But I could try to predict what Hong Lu's Canto could end on if we assume this line is foreshadowing it the same way Yi Sang's was.

I think Canto 8 will show us Hong Lu finally break. There will be no more mask to hide behind, just a flood of emotions that had been held back for all of his life. Most importantly though, it won't be pretty. If there's any Sinner who will be in need of emotional catharsis through a mental breakdown boss battle, Hong Lu seems like the perfect candidate for that. Either that or Hong Lu just straight up fucking murders someone on screen. Ideally both.

There's probably more I can analyze based on the visual designs of the E.G.O... But honestly this already got way fucking longer than the Roseate Desire analysis so I'll just leave you with the mental image of me chanting Hong Lu Commit Fratricide.

[atopvisenyashill]

What is your opinion on the Alicent, Dyana, and Aegon scenes in the show?

I think they were good but needed more build up like the entire back half of the season needed more build up.

I thought the actress who played Dyana was phenomenal, the way she’s shaking more than sobbing was really well done. Similarly, the way Alicent switches from offering comfort she wishes had been given to her to threatening Dyanna to protect Aegon in like .2 seconds is Insane, i felt that switch on a physical level in my gut. I think all of Alicent/Aegon’s scenes are well done and this one is no exception - the way they’re having two wildly different conversations because she doesn’t understand how he can’t understand that he’s raped someone and the horror that’s he’s inflicted on Dyana but he can’t understand why she’s so mad that he’s just trying to find a minute of relief in a life he hates. The repeated theme here of Alicent barging in on Aegon naked and “vulnerable” to further emphasize how violated he feels by her, but meanwhile they are talking about him violating someone else and he’s making himself the victim of it!! And then having Helaena walk in on the ending of this conversation - the way Alicent is really grappling, likely for the first time, with the fact that she trapped her own daughter in a marriage as sexually and emotionally abusive as the one she was trapped in by her own father (because before this, I think she just refused to confront it, in that “thinking around a subject” way that some of the characters do) but the person who may be hurting her daughter is in fact her own son.

but the thing i dislike is that if you notice, i spend a lot more time talking about alicent’s feelings than aegon or helaena or dyana. it’s because the back half completely fumbles making any of the new characters fleshed out characters. alicent has depth, and even if i’m critical of how they adapted her character, the character herself is full of layers, if sometimes inconsistently written. aegon is barely written. helaena is even more nonexistent than he is. and i feel, in the original show as well as the main series, we would have gotten to know more about dyana outside of being raped.

in my view, the whole show is building to this moment here, at least on the greens side - from aemma referring to herself and rhaenyra as “royal wombs” to alicent wearing her dead mother’s dresses when she’s pimped out to viserys by her own father, to the entire confrontation between alicent & rhaenyra about sleeping with daemon/criston, all of this was leading up to alicent being confronted with the idea that her son would victimize another woman the way she herself has been victimized, and his own sister to boot. and, idk, i just feel like, with all that the reek storyline is theon’s, or the riverlands storyline is about jaime, there’s a level of respect that george gives characters like pia, kya, weasel, etc who are technically just here to show us how awful the peasant class and especially women are treated by the nobility, because even though they pretty much only suffer on page, i guess i just feel like george sees them as people who had a life before it was violently derailed and condal & hess just see dyana as a vessel for their story. i think helaena suffers from this and honestly so does aegon; the depth that exists is because of the actors and not a purposeful thing done by the writers. and it’s because george makes room in his narrative to just give it room to breathe while condal & hess are going a mile a minute here.

i think dyana should be on the level of focus as like a shae or jeyne poole too, because this is a pivotal moment here for two of the central characters. and not to keep whinging on but i think aegon should be on the level of importance as daemon & viserys, aka as high as dany, tyrion, and the starklings but he’s like, kevan lannister. he certainly has a character but we do not get his pov except at the very end bc he is an important character in this story but this story is not about him. helaena is like. idk maybe bronn level, when she should be at minimum brienne & twins level. and tbh idk how you fix the way all the characters who aren’t in the og cast feeling underwritten without just straight up having two seasons before viserys dies instead of one. which was the main issue the main show had, that they weren’t giving the books the room to BREATHE & grow even though that’s the whole thing about asoiaf is how much it grows in scope. and instead of just giving it over to condal bc he clearly still had the drive and passion and those two dumbasses just wanted to leave to do a star war, the back half feels rushed in a way that the front half does not. i keep wondering if this was hbo interfering bc condal hess & miguel don’t even have the excuse of “i’ve been writing on this series that i only kinda like for years and i want to leave” that the idiots have & i think it’s clear that even if sometimes condal & hess have some annoying ideas about the themes and plot, they’ve always had the PASSION for the project to keep it going!!

i feel like i’m bitching too much in this post because again, i think the writing and acting in that scene is amazing, and i also think the people who bitch a lil Tew Much about aegon being a rapist in canon are just like, the same as the people who get upset about the choking scene in that they wanted f&b adapted but they wanted THEIR TEAM to be the unambiguous good guys when this is a story in canon and in the adaption that is much deeper than that. there’s this undercurrent literally from ty’s introduction that aegon has these impulses that are really dangerous and vile (similar to my boy joffrey!!) that people overlook or enable until he reaches this point where he is both a victim and a monster. and in the books, this seems clear to me as well, from the rumors about him being familiar with maids, to the entire existence of gaemon palehair implying that even if he wasn’t literally AT the baby murder pits, he was IN THE AREA often enough that a woman he bedded and got a child on could absolutely get her son snatched up and taken to the baby murder pits which doesn’t speak very highly of aegon!!, the fact that he calls rhaenyra a whore after one (1) bad interaction, the fact that he celebrated aemond making the fatal mistake of murdering luke, like even before the dance takes off, he’s exhibiting worrying behavior that is being covered up. i do think book aegon is probably more similar to robert than joffrey, but i like the change of making him more wet and pathetic as that other anon put it lmao. kinda similar to the larys thing, that we already have a robert. we already have a viserys. we don’t need aegon to be like them too. in a book you can do stuff like that but in a much shorter form tv show, you gotta switch it up a lil bit and i think giving him like an ~aesthetic change was a great idea. he fits with the changes in alicent so welllll, and he still says interesting things about aemond & helaena. it’s just like, clearly all in tom and mine’s heads ya know. but if no one else got me, tom & olivia’s insane acting got me!! ALSO JUSTICE FOR TY TENNANT HE DESERVED MORE THAN TWO EPISODES!!!!!

[convxction]

ooc. because of replaying and rewatching abyss made me think of .. if plegia got the whole we gonna 'make our god' sort of thing since valentia's days (looking at you asshole forneus) they def made the whole 'copies/ replicas' and that sort of. hold my chaotic brain. it is cooking weird stuff.

but think about actual avatar copies in the castle, maybe mindless puppets no soul because we know our avatar homie got the soul and gwima pew pew, maybe some turned to risens, maybe idk here and there but like they are unrecognizable due to their lets say degrading and stuff (you wouldnt tell it is avatar because of how they look whoops.) maybe the grimleal were like uh oh. we are about to go down so we should erase them (aka feed them to gwima oopssyyy.)

but another thought was like we didnt get confirmation that the ylissean army got the papa krumb back right? so .......COULD THEY HAVE HIS BODY AND LIKE EWIUEHEUEUEHEU LETS MAKE A COPY SO WE CAN USE HIS BRAND TOO AND LIKE MAKE A SUPER PUPPET SOLDIER TO COUNTER THE NAGA WORHSIPNAPERS. hold my hand im still thinking about that jerk who tricked cynthia. IMAGINE THAT JERK WAS A KRUMB COPY? OR HIS FATHER BUT LIKE ...rouge. he escaped and was like u know imma do my thing XD i know that part was supposed to be a joke for cynthia's story but come on they should've made the guy at least ...look like krumbino. he does not look anything like him and it hurts cynthia's character i and wont stand without doing anything! my girl is ....good. questionable brain cells but she is good. at least it wouldn't make sense she falls for someone like that. like come on she could ask to his brand. no one can fake that brand my dude even as a tattoo. i feel like no tattoo could compare to the real brand. i feel like i got distracted. back to what i was thinking. or i think i was thinking. the brain is not braining my dude.

it would be cool to have avatar replica, whether got a soul and personality of its own, or not. avatar could come to the 'oh. that could be me. im lucky. i should value this life i have now. HENCE WHY I SHOULD YEET MYSELF TO GRIMA WEEEE'

maybe krumb replica! as i hc that he do look like his father the expectation is his father got somewhat baby face and he is the luigi death stare at you. lmao.

me throwing the EYEHUEUEHE EMMERYN BUT THAT SPOT PASS IS JUST .............never mind.

i never stop thinking about the deadlords and how they are krumb and his crew (l.ucina said it and i take her words for it.) i wonder if it is grima's attempt in that fallen world to make them risens but then like with his death or idk the whole parallel world thingy they regained some ....idk 'will'? regret of their passing away without fulfilling their goal--offing da lizard.

basically im a ho who gets obsessed with one idea and runs with it and now i want to inflict pain and suffering on krumb because who ese would i do that to, huh? it is his fault for being the easy to go muse in my brain. your fault blue man. i want a krumb replica. and no, isaac not you. stay safe my homie. stay safe or lucina and hope will murderize me.

gah. like do you know how twisted things can get? the guy just waltz and probably trick some people and some of the crew and just eyo that is a fake guy over there. faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakerrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

and kurmb like: huh ? ? ? ? cynthia: *triggered* sumia and cordelia: le shock frederick: on the case to figure out who is his lord so he set the other on fire lissa: *one thought: two chroms? heck yeah more to prank--wait this is serious oh no~ she can sniff the replica with ease watch her* avatar: *traumatized*

listen if anyone can tell the replica from the real is rebecca XDD his wife just take a look at the two of them: mmm yeah thats not my man. i can shoot him right? and chrom in a corner falling for her again: wow... but how? ALL REBECCA GOTTA DO IS CALL CHROM 'DADDY' and ofc we know krumb went to UGE and he knows what does 'daddy' mean and he just cringe like he never cringed before. probably covering his ears like NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH STAAAAAAAAAAAHP THATS UUUGGHHHHH!!!!

i feel like i never once make a sense when i write these my brain tells me posts lmao. anyway. replicas. excuse me to bother ppl with this then. hmu if you want a copy.

battle of the century. krumb vs no brand krumb vs replica krumb vs rkc ....eheeheighgeheguegheugehgehgeugehgegegeigehge bye.

[adlbeay]

I wanted to talk about the themes in the Walk in the Dust event. The story of Arknights has always had a high level of thematic consistency, but it’s especially prominent in this event. I feel like a lot of the discussion of the story in certain places comes down to “lore” and surface-level plot details, so I wanted to get this out there somewhere.

The two big ideas that are covered in Walk in the Dust are that of revenge and the homeland. Let's talk about revenge first. Long post and story spoilers under the cut.

In the beginning, we are introduced to Elliot, aka Passenger, who by the time we meet him, is an aimless husk of a man. He is utterly empty inside despite being the most powerful figure in the Reefsteep black  market, with vast wealth and political influence under his thumb. Having completed his decades-long quest to slay everyone who was involved in betraying his teacher, he has no more goals for his life. After killing  the Lord Ameer of Ibut, the last of his targets, he realizes that the revenge he had been pursuing was ultimately empty, that the weapons he built and the schemes he engineered to that end no longer moved him. Even the death of the Lord Ameer didn't matter one bit in the political landscape of Sargon.

As for the Sargon army... We live in different times now. The ruling  Padishahs simply care not about what is happening here in this barren  wasteland. My guess is that it matters not to them whether it's the  father or the son that's in charge. Actually, to tell the truth, it  hardly matters to me either.

Ultimately, no one cared if the Lord Ameer was murdered or simply  died in an accident, not even Elliot himself. Sargon continues to be exploited by the Columbian military and the ruling Lords. Professor Thorne remains dead. His research, once entrusted to Elliot to prevent  it from becoming a weapon of war, has nonetheless been used by Elliot  himself to bring even more death. Now, 22 years later, Passenger sees  finding Kal'tsit as his only path to salvation, so that she can once  again give him a purpose like she did when she rescued him the first time.

Folinic's mom, Lillia, also shares the same kind of story. Her husband was killed in Chernobog when the count decided to purge the researchers working on the sarcophagus device. Among the children of the families broken up by this incident are Lyudmila (later Crownslayer), Alex and Misha (later Skullshatterer), and Luisa (later Folinic). Lillia finds Kal'tsit after months of searching, intending to take revenge on  Grand Duke Vanya not just for her husband, but also for Luisa, who never got to know her father because of it. Kal'tsit tries to talk her out of  it, even during the final phases of the plan, but Lillia's mind is set.  She entrusts Kal'tsit with taking care of both Luisa and Lyudmila, as  she knows she won't be able to come back to live a normal life after  this. And... she succeeds. Although it is Kal'tsit who ultimately administered the poison, their plan works flawlessly and Duke Vanya is finally dead.

Except it still ended up being completely meaningless. The Grand Duke was in a glorified nursing home already near the end of his life, and if Kal'tsit didn't kill him then some other conspirator from the Ursus  political backstage would have done it anyway. He was already crippled and blind, and as we find out during the confrontation with the Emperor's Blade, even Kal'tsit only agreed to Lillia's plan because it  defused the conspiracies of other powerful figures who would have used  the Duke's death to spark another rebellion. The only thing that Lillia ended up accomplishing was making sure that Louisa would grow up without both a mother and a father, and Lyudmila would never get the answers she really wanted about her family's death. And, although she ended up not doing it, she was even also planning to go back to Chernobog to kill  Sergei, Alex and Misha's father, for his betrayal.

And this carries on through the future outside the event. Crownslayer ends up joining Reunion because she thinks it will give her the answers  she wants and avenge her father. Folinic almost lets her anger at Atro's death get her into a confrontation with Wolumonde. In the end, Crownslayer is stopped by Kal'tsit and Folinic is calmed down by  Suzuran, but we might be able to imagine what would have happened if  they managed to carry out their vengeance.

The theme of homeland is one that's intrinsically tied to Kal'tsit and has at least a bit of relation to the broader story outside of the event. It's harder to talk about since it's not clearly  split into individual stories like previously, but there's at least one character that exemplifies this theme the most: Old Isin.

Old Isin is appropriately to his name, old as rocks. He remembers being a servant to some lord of a long-lost city that very few even know once existed, and spends his time telling fortunes while trying to seek out people who, like him, also share that past. According to Kal'tsit, the city's people were scattered when it was destroyed, and now only Isin even remembers the origin of the name "Reefsteep". Even then, Isin only has vague memories, and believes it to be his unforgivable sin that  he has forgotten so much about the city.

Old Isin originally helps Kal'tsit and Elliot because he hopes that  she can help him remember about the lost city, and thus absolve his  "unforgivable sin". And Kal'tsit indeed does help him. Isin begins to recall the conquests of armies a thousand years ago, something even with  his age he should not have been a part of, much less remembered.  Kal'tsit dispels the illusions clouding his memory, and reveals that  what Isin remembers is only the stories that the padishah recounted to  him, that the glory of his old city was only a memory of another memory. In truth, the city in Old Isin's memory was merely a stepping stone for the padishah's ambition to conquer the uncharted deserts, and was abandoned just as easily when that campaign failed. His homeland's glory was just an illusion created in his mind by the padishah's charisma.

Which brings us to the Emperor's Blade. Wherever he stands is the dominion of the Empire of Ursus. Whatever he does carries out the Ursus Emperor's will. Or at least, that's how the Royal Guards imagine themselves, single-handedly carrying out their homeland's legacy. Kal'tsit lays it out clearly:

Kal'tsit: Tell me, what does the current Ursus Emperor think of the Pine Valley affair? Or do you mean to tell me the seeds of that uprising, the origins of the crisis were all the will of the Emperor? Feel free to keep deceiving yourself, but the truth is the young emperor is unaware of the events that transpired there. You believe he has no  need to know. You... all of you seek a bygone era. You are just caught up in the former emperor's grand vision!

As does Patriot in Chapter 8:

Patriot: I fought with your fathers. Your strength and tactical acumen are no less impressive than theirs. But you look at the Ursus of those times with rose-colored glasses. What you see is nothing more than your wild fantasies.

The Royal Guards are described in not too unclear words as soldiers  who probably believed too much of their own grandiose affect. They are unparalleled fighters, to be sure, but it isn't hard to infer that those words about executing Ursus's will and each Royal Guard being his own nation are words intended to strike fear into their enemies rather than  statements of any real truth. Indeed, if you know anything about the internal politics of Ursus, the idea of "Ursus's own will" can be seen as more of a nostalgia at a bygone era when Ursus was, or at least seemed, united in conquest under the previous Emperor. The perceived glory of their homeland is what motivates the Emperor's Blade, but like with Old Isin, the truth behind it is shaky at best.

We also have the contrast between the retired veteran at Pine Valley  and Grand Duke Vanya. While talking to Witte, the veteran cuts off one of his own fingers, claiming that the scars he has suffered in Ursus's wars, once considered symbols of his glory and honor, were ultimately meaningless, and he wants this self-inflicted wound to be his only legacy to Ursus. At the same time, the Grand Duke is postulating about how the seeds he had sown in the winter would give birth to beautiful flowers. Even though his actions and the crimes he committed never bore fruition, he is convinced even in death that Ursus's soil will bloom.

The issue of a real or imagined homeland, and its loss, is also  shared by the Sarkaz as a whole not only in this story but in the main story and many other events. It's even arguable that Rhodes Island's mission to help the Infected was originally inherited from Babel's goal of establishing a stable homeland for the Sarkaz. After all, as pointed  out in many places, the Infected and Sarkaz share much of the same discrimination.

Sarkaz Mercenary: Home...? How could us devils... us Infected possibly have one... Kal'tsit: The Sarkaz have tried to rebuild 'Kazdel', their home for centuries, though they have never succeeded. Everyone has a different idea as to what the term 'homeland' means, but as it stands right now,  Kazdel is perhaps as close as you can get to the term's original meaning.

And in Twilight of Wolumonde:

Armed Infected: We’re going home? To what home?

Mudrock: Kazdel. There may be no place for Sarkaz outside of Kazdel.  But in Kazdel, there is a place for you. Not because of tolerance. But because there is... nothing there. Kazdel... is where the homeless go. A land of rootless people.

So what does all this have to do with Kal'tsit?

In the ending cutscene, Passenger asks Kal'tsit whether this "Rhodes  Island" is yet another passing persona to be used to accomplish a goal and discarded when it's complete. Like the persona of the Trusted  Advisor, or the Servant, or the Laterano Cleric, will she abandon Rhodes  Island as well? Kal'tsit initially puts up a front saying he has no  right to ask, then bluffs about having thousands of answers, but is pushed by Passenger saying he'll even accept a lie. In one of the only times we get to see Kal'tsit faltering, she actually has no answer to this.

Unlike the other characters we see throughout the story, Kal'tsit has no homeland. No matter how fake or illusory it is, Old Isin and the Royal Guard have something to believe about a place where they can belong. The nobles in Victoria, as incompetent as they appear from the outside, are dedicated to defending the peace of their home despite having no ruler. Even the ostracized Sarkaz can ultimately go back to Kazdel, as unpleasant as that might be. But while Kal'tsit wanders the earth to keep the homelands of others from falling into chaos, she has no homeland of her own to go back to.

In one of the trailers for Chapter 9, we hear a recording from Theresa, addressed to Kal'tsit: "I hope this Rhodes Island can be a place to call home, a place you can always return to."

[iheartbookbran]

Ok so actually my biggest problem with the whole “Daenerys will burn KL” theory—not even the Mad Queen Dany theory, which is of course very sexist for obvious reasons, but just like, the idea that Dany will ~accidentally~ ignite the wildfire in the city, burning it all to the ground. That, at first, doesn’t sound that bad, but the longer I think about it the more I hate it because tbh it doesn’t do anything for her character? And also… that fate for her is just down right cruel.

Like, the most frequent argument I see on why this would be at all satisfactory for Dany’s arc is basically that it would be a sort of lesson for her about the dangers of unchecked power and the real threat the Dragons can pose on humans and that she shouldn’t use them to fight against other people. And that’s all well and good, excellent message… except that’s not something Dany’s ever really needed to learn? Not anymore that her fellow rulers, which I will touch on more detail later, but in general Dany has seen what the abuse of power can do. Starting with her conflicting feelings regarding Viserys and how she recognizes that even though he was her brother and she loved him, he also abused his power over her as her older brother, her only family and her king; she feels guilt about the atrocities Drogo committed to the lhazarene and tries to help them; she feels so much guilt about not handling things correctly in Astapor that she decides to throw away all her plans to go to Westeros and instead stays in Meereen.

And about not knowing the true danger that her dragons can pose? I mean, this is the same girl that literally agonizes across several of her ADWD chapters because Drogon killed a child, and then takes the extreme measure of caging Rhaegal and Viserion to prevent that from ever happening again. I think she’s at least a little bit aware that the dragons can be dangerous, thank you very much.

Ok so this got long...

Anyways, the only time Dany legit uses Drogon to harm someone and not just as bluff was at the house of the Undying, where she was being attacked, and in Astapor… and like, lmao, that asshole Kraznys mo Nakloz and the rest of his slaver buddies deserved it. Don’t at me. Also, Dany’s hardly the only one with a big magical and deadly beast at her disposal, why didn’t Robb had to go through some horrifying traumatic incident to learn he shouldn’t use Grey Wind in battle to tear his enemies’ throats. Bran will be learning about the dangers of abusing power, but that’s linked to his magic powers and an actual reprehensible thing he’s doing, not the use of his glorified prehistoric dog to kill, which he’s done, just like Robb. By all means let the narrative hold Dany accountable for her mistakes… but her actual mistakes and not shit she has no control over, because she doesn’t have much control over Drogon or the other dragons even though she’s trying to, and that’s very obvious in her last ADWD chapter where she’s delirious and Drogon could kill her at any moment, and she knows that.

The other big argument people make for Dany burning KL (even if it’s by accident!) is that it will teach her about the price of war, that someone as young as her shouldn’t be leading armies and conquering kingdoms, and that fighting for the Iron Throne is not a worthy cause, and I feel like that misses the actual point of her story by a mile. First of all because a) Dany is hardly the only teenage ruler in the story and b) this is a fantasy medieval story, a lot of the characters shouldn’t be doing the things they do, aaaand yet. Also speaking of other teenage rulers with far more power that they should have—Robb and Jon, being the biggest examples.

Granted, Robb and Jon aren’t exactly successful during their time as rulers, they’re literally betrayed and killed by their own men (even if Jon will technically come back for round 2 of bullshit he’s too tired for). But the moral of their stories is not that they lost because theirs was an unworthy cause and they were stupid kids wholly unprepared for their roles. And I actually partially agree! They are just kids, including Dany, and they shouldn’t be responsible for looking after so many others and going to battle, but their cause is still just and worthy, even with all the mistakes they make along the way. Robb didn’t loose because he was wrong in demanding justice for his family or trying to protect the riverlands from the Lannisters and their minions, he lost because Tywin Lannister was a giant coward who couldn’t take him out in a fair fight.

Likewise, it isn’t wrong of Jon to try to incorporate refugees from beyond the Wall into Westeros. He’s not too stupid and honorable to do politics like his father (how I hate when people insult Jon and Ned like that), and while he did some very obvious mistakes that inevitably ended in a coup and in him dying, this is more connected to his inability to let go of his ties with his family (mainly Arya or who he believes to be her), and in isolating himself from his friends and the people he could actually trust.

I’ve always thought that Dany and Jon share a parallel narrative within the story, so while Jon is struggling with that Dany is faced with similar problems. She cages her dragons, that to her represent the only family she has left, and she tries to compromise with the slavers, marry a man she doesn’t love, pretend she’s ok with reopening the fighting pit. While she tries her best to rule wisely in Meereen, it all comes at the cost of betraying herself and her beliefs, so it’s no surprise when it all crashes around her and she’s betrayed and nearly killed. Ironically, it is Drogon who comes to rescue her.

If they are monsters, so am I.—Daenerys II, ADWD.

This is hands down one of my favorite Dany quotes from the whole series, and I hate that it’s been given such a negative connotation in the fandom, when for me it represents Dany’s humanity and compassion at the fullest.

GRRM has a knack for humanizing the ‘monsters’ of his story, for showing the good in the outcasts and the ugly and the scary. He embraces their ‘otherness’ and makes them the heroes of his stories; Arya, Bran, Brienne, Dany, Tyrion, Jon, Theon and many others are all compared to monsters or beasts at one point or another in the books.

Dany sees herself in her dragons, literal monsters in every sense of the word. Later on she faces Drogon inside the pit, and in that moment you could say that she accepts that ‘monstrous’ part of her, and in doing so she’s saved from her fate of dying at the hands of the men who would crucify innocent children and gleefully profit off of the suffering of their fellow human beings while watching them fight each other to the death for their own amusement. Now tell me who’s the real monster in this situation.

But shortly before that happens, Dany is able to see the humanity in Tyrion, an outcast who has been branded as monstrous and unlovable due to his disability all his life, a man who has come to believe in his abusers’ rhetoric about him so strongly that he’s started to act cruel and detached. She saves his life. She sees value in his life when few others would, because she cares.

I’ve always find it funny that the “dragons plant no trees” is—another—example fans use to argue in favor of Dany’s descent into Darkness™ because the actual scene goes like this:

You are a queen, her bear said. In Westeros.

"It is such a long way," she complained. "I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl."

No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words.—Daenerys X, ADWD.

Now am I the only one who finds it at least a bit relevant that it’s freaking Jorah Mormont aka Jorah the Enslaver whom Dany’s subconscious, at her literal lowest moment, utilizes to represent this particular thought, which btw I’ve always interpreted as Dany’s own self-loathing manifesting in her, and this is something she’s actually always struggled with—the idea that she’s not enough and she’s failing. Because above all things, even Westeros or the Iron Throne, what Dany wants is peace, she wants to plant trees.

When Dany made her descent, Reznak and Skahaz dropped to their knees. "Your Worship shines so brightly, you will blind every man who dares to look upon you," said Reznak. […] This match will save our city, you will see."

"So we pray. I want to plant my olive trees and see them fruit." Does it matter that Hizdahr's kisses do not please me? Peace will please me. Am I a queen or just a woman?—Daenerys VII, ADWD.

But of course the world doesn’t work like that, and so long as there’s Jorahs and Tywins and Eurons out there, men who would take the freedom of humans and submit them to their will, Dany can’t have the luxury of peace, just like Jon can’t have the luxury of belonging and family so long as there’s people still beyond the Wall who need his protection.

And I think that’s fine. It’s fine that Dany failed, it will help her develop as a character and realize that there’s no room to compromise with slavers, the metaphorical monsters of the story who do far more harm than the other more literal ‘monsters’ of the story. So that when she has to face down Euron Greyjoy—who btw, there’s a high chance he will end up stealing one of Dany’s dragons via Victarion using Dragonbinder… y’know, as in enslaving one of her children and using said dragon to inflict god knows what horrors, yet not many people ever consider this for some reason?—she will know. When she has to face down the Others, the magical ice fairies with no regard for human life, she will know.

That’s why I believe that it would make absolutely no sense for Dany to have to go through such a tragic and traumatic experience like burning a whole city even by pure accident, over something that’s either never been a problem with her character or she’s well into her way of learning anyways, so it would just feel repetitive. As I have pointed out, she’s already reached one of the lowest moments of her arc. Not saying there will be no other blows for her, and probably the destruction of KL will be one of them, and knowing Dany she will feel responsibility over it no matter what, but that doesn’t mean she has to be the culprit, intentional or otherwise.

[pathetic-dumpling]

Being People

Techno owning the fact that he was- is- a person was explosive. It was loud and powerful. It was a battlefield, with him screaming his woes to deaf ears. Dream’s realization was quiet. Almost if he hadn’t believed it himself.

aka Techno and Dream talk, and together they're just people.

warnings: implied/referenced torture, abuse, dehumanization, starvation, dark portrayals of c!quackity, and abuse of power

or read on ao3 instead!

Techno owning the fact that he was- is- a person was explosive. It was loud and powerful. It was a battlefield, with him screaming his woes to deaf ears. Dream���s realization was quiet. Almost if he hadn’t believed it himself.

It had been on a quiet, restless night. Techno and Dream only ever got around to talking, really talking and spilling secrets beyond simple pleasantries, at night, Techno noticed. He wonders why. Maybe it’s the serenity, the quietness knowing that you’re the only person in the world for just a little bit. That there is nothing around but the snow and the moon and the forest. There is nothing that wants to hurt Dream within the small haven countless blizzards have brought them. Maybe it was the subtle comfort of that that allows Dream to finally spill his secrets.

Dream confessed his treatment in the prison almost as if they were sins of his own to bear. He kept his head low and his voice even more so, almost as if he was afraid that someone outside of the small bubble of safety could hear. The active focus on listening made Techno’s ears flick, darting between the soft crackle of the fire and the soft curves of Dream’s voice, but he would listen the best he could. Techno made sure that no one would be able to sneak up on them like this, but as his own paranoia creeps in now and then, he can hold nothing against Dream’s quiet fear.

The torture and the pain and the fear are spilled into the night, Techno a willing listener to whatever Dream has to say. Techno tried to not let himself be angry, or at least not let the anger show. This isn’t his anger to feel. It should be Dream’s; it is Dream’s. The anger is not Techno’s. These are Dream’s experiences, his trauma. Techno knows more than anyone how frustrating it is for others to decide to feel something for you. Instead, Techno lets himself be angered by the abuse of power, something he has always stood against. He allows himself to feel empathy for the suffering his friend has gone through. He lets himself be calm and solid, something for Dream to cling to and ground himself in. It’s what he’s always done, for everyone he cares for, and Dream is no exception.

At some point, Dream started crying. His voice cracked and broke until he could no longer use it, and then signing made his arms tired, and his hands became too shaky. Techno did his best to calm Dream down, throwing out a few jokes, moving to the couch across from Dream, and offering his cape to the other. That seemed to do the trick because soon enough, Dream had control over his breathing.

Techno sighs, leaning back and rubbing at his legs. Dream had fallen silent, which he took as permission to begin adding his thoughts. “Well, you know, you deserved none of that, right? What Quackity did- it wasn’t in the right. It wasn’t good, and it certainly wasn’t deserved.”

Dream sucked in a shaky breath, wiping away some leftover tears. He sniffed, glancing over to Techno with red eyes. “Why?”

“Well… because you’re a person.” Techno shrugs.

Dream pauses. He looks down at his hands, rubbing them together. “Oh…”

“What do you mean ‘oh’?” Techno chuckled lightly. “You’ve always been a person, Dream. Y’know… we’ve worked together, you warned me about the Butcher Army… you’re just as much of a person as me.”

“No, I… I know that you-- you’re a person, yeah, but… me?” Dream’s voice breaks lightly as more tears pool. “But Quackity said-”

“What Quackity said doesn’t matter.” Techno is never really firm with Dream, but this is one thing he’ll let form a slight edge in his voice. This is one habit that he won’t quietly address with Dream. “He was your torturer, your-your abuser, Dream. What he says, whatever he said, it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t reflect you or your character. Other people shouldn’t control who you are.”

Dream looks at him, wide-eyed as a single tear rolls down his cheeks. Techno makes a mental note to tell Phil to try to get Dream to drink more water tomorrow. “But Tommy, and Wilbur, and-and-”

“Hey, that… they were your enemies, alright?” Techno’s voice catches in his throat, and he shoves down memories that threaten to rear their heads and make his words bitter. “They’re bound to say some nasty stuff about you, okay?”

“But I did things, I-”

Techno holds his hand up, cutting Dream’s small tangent short. “Don’t tell me this stuff to justify that you aren’t a person, Dream. That you’re not worthy of basic decency, alright? Tell me this stuff on your own time; when you’re not trying to convince me of something. Plus, you’re kind of talking to a guy who blew up a country to prove that I was a person, right? I’m the wrong guy to talk to if you wanna go down the route.”

Dream watches Techno for a moment, eyes darting around, searching, looking for something that he’ll never find out here in the arctic. He sniffs, wiping at his nose, then the rest of his face, and nods silently.

“Okay,” he croaks out. “But I… I’m…”

“You’re just a guy,” Techno says, a small smile forming as he tilts his head. “You’re just a guy I watched build a dirt house after I made fun of him for being homeless one time.”

A slight, choked-out wheeze leaves Dream. “You watched that?”

“The whole time. Lead a creeper or two into your house, too.”

“You fucker,” Dream laughs, dragging his hand down his face. “Why would you do that? I worked so hard, you bastard.”

“In my defense, it was really funny.”

“Oh my god,” Dream sighs, shaking his head. “This is stupid. This is so dumb.” Dream sighs again, fondly this time. His shoulders sag, finally letting go of the tension building in his frame as his body slumps against the soft material of his chair. He pauses, letting the small, warm smile drop from his face. “Why are you so nice to me?”

Techno’s ears flick. “Have I ever told you about my ‘absolute reciprocity’ policy?”

Dream shakes his head.

“Well… those who treat me with injustice and cruelty, I will repay that tenfold. Whatever suffering they inflict upon me will be given back.”

“Like L’manberg.”

Techno nods. “But it also applies to kindness.” He holds up a finger like he’s making a speech to the syndicate. “And that kindness will also be repaid tenfold.”

Dream blinks at Techno owlishly, clearly not catching the point.

“You saved my life, Dream,” Techno smiles. “The least I can do is help you get yours back on track, all right?”

“Saved your life?” Dream echoes. “At the execution? Please. All I did was get Carl back for you.”

“You underestimate how much I love that horse.” Techno smiles when a small laugh spills out of Dream, but he hopes the message isn’t lost. Dream has been kind, has done what others haven’t for him, and Technoblade plans on repaying that.

Eventually, Dream’s dry and scratchy throat sends him into a coughing fit, shaking his frail frame in a way Techno doesn’t think he’ll ever be comfortable with. He’s up and out of his seat before Dream can even open his mouth to ask for a glass of water, returning with a full glass and passing it off gingerly. Dream sips, quietly soothing his aching throat. Techno doesn’t return to his seat just yet, planning on probing Dream just a little more before the night ends.

“You tired enough to go back to bed?” Techno asks.

“No,” Dream shakes his head lightly. “I’m kind of hungry, though.”

Techno rubs his hands together, already moving over to the kitchen as Dream watches him. “Anything you’re feeling in the mood for?”

Dream shakes his head, making Techno grimace lightly. Dream almost always has something he wants, he just has to wiggle it out, so Techno throws out a few feelers.

“Something light?” he asks. “Do you want, like, an actual meal or just a quick snack?”

“...something light, please.”

“Sure.” Techno gets to work, making a small plate of buttered toast for Dream to munch on for the time being. They, and by “they,” Techno means himself and Phil, have finally gotten Dream to warm up to the idea of asking for things like water and food but incorporating preference has still been a bit of a struggle. That’s alright, Techno has all the witty patience he needs, and Phil has lived forever, so they literally have all the time in the world for things like these. They’ll try for as long as it takes because Phil has always stayed by Techno’s side, and now Techno has decided to not leave Dream’s. Parts of him are bitter, memories still taint him in some ways, but he’s more than willing to throw them away to convince someone else that they’re human, too.

Techno can’t help but feel a slight sense of pride when he hands Dream his plate. Dream takes it with a small thanks thrown Techno’s way, holding the plate solidly in his hands before setting it down in his lap. The heat of the bread doesn’t bother him anymore like it used to, and holding ceramic plates isn’t a struggle either. The tremble in Dream’s hands is still present but not nearly as bad as it used to be. Techno doesn’t know if Dream knows how much he’s recovered and improved; because it’s all something so small, and he’s sure saying “good job being able to hold plates again” would sound a little belittling. Instead, he waits for Dream to finish eating before taking the plate back to the sink.

“Better?” Techno drapes himself over the back of Dream’s chair, letting some of his hair slip forward and tickle Dream’s face, making his nose scrunch up.

Dream nods. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Silence fills the cabin. The fire begins to die down, so Techno throws on another few logs, accidentally disturbing Steve in his sleep. The bear makes a small sound of displeasure before falling back asleep, practically dead on the floor. Dream hums quietly, playing with his fingers. He rubs over the nub of the ring finger on his right hand as he tongues at a tiny bit of bread stuck in the gap in his teeth.

Eventually, Techno asks if he’s tired again. Dream still says no, but he assures Techno he’s fine to be alone for the rest of the night.

“I’m asking for you, dude.” Techno shrugs. “I’m used to sleeping at weird times- I used to do it with my hoard all the time.”

“...your piglin family?”

Techno nods.

“Okay… stay with me, then?”

Techno smiles quietly, almost entirely to himself. “Sure.”

[kaypeace21]

Stranger things is about mental health & trauma- deal with it!

I’ve seen a lot of people claim anyone who mentioned this topic immediately be gaslit and told they’re “just crazy” and “rudely projecting their own issues on to the characters.’ Like- no you don’t have to believe my  Will DID/Lonnie theory ( I could be wrong). But to claim one of the show’s central themes isn’t about mental health/trauma (screams either complete lack of lit comprehension or denial cause you have your own negative biases towards such people). So let’s just go into what’s literal text-not subtext/symbolism. Just the super blatant stuff.  RIGHT IN THE SHOW!

S1

-We have El when she first appears on screen  asked by Benny if her parents starved and hurt her and if that’s why she ran away. Benny then calls CPS to say El “may have been ab*sed or something.” After this Lucas says there is “seriously something wrong with her-wrong in the head. She’s probably from the NUT-HOUSE in curly county.penthurst” We also see El  cannonically has PTSD-all of s1 she’ll see something benign (a cat, a coke commercial, a closet) and is triggered to see a traumatic flashback. That’s literally ptsd.  There’s also hints throughout the seasons she’s developmentally behind in both language, telling time etc (neglect like El’s irl can cause an intellectual disability-analysis on El/that subject here).The real pethurst in pensylvannia (not the one in stranger things/ Curly county)  closed in 1986-  it was a facility for people and mostly  kids with intellectual disabilities (it wasn’t technically a psych facility like the one in st)-but it was infamous for it’s abuse of these intellectually disabled patients kept there. We also have Brenner be a ab*sive psychiatrist.

- Hopper after suffering from the loss of his daughter. Is popping pills like candy, drinking and smoking constantly. He later says he used to hallucinate and forgot what was real -seeing and hearing sarah and says if he didn’t confront the pain he’d “fall down a black hole he couldn’t get out of.” NO... subtext here about what the void represents nope.

- Both mothers (Terry & Joyce) are dismissed as being mentally ill and simply grieving the loss of their kids . But both end up being right about the supernatural.

- “Terry pretends Jane is real. i mean it’s all make believe. you know the doctors all say it’s a coping mechanism.”

- While with Joyce the whole town pre s1 already questioned her mental health. Jonathan says “She used to have anxiety problems (pre s1).” And Jonathan, Hopper, and Lonnie all assume she’s hallucinating: talking to Will via lights, seeing a man without a face, saying Will’s body is fake -due to grief. Plus Lonnie mentions the fact Joyce’s aunt Darlene also used to hallucinate as a possible reason  (terry’s aunt also had mental health issues mentioned in s2 by Becky). Lonnie even says everything Joyce is seeing  is “all in her head.”  Hopper and Jon both say she needs to sleep and accept reality and Lonnie says she needs to see a “shrink”.  Hopper “i’m not saying that you’re crazy”. Joyce : “no, you are.” Joyce also says to Lonnie “Stop looking at me like that... like everyone else like i’m out of my damn mind.” Hopper also says about Joyce she’s “on the edge”. Callahan says in response , “she’s been on the edge for a while now” (referring to her mental health- even before Will’s dissappearance)”. While Lonnie says Jonathan is “feeding into her hallucinations ... you’re going to push her right over the edge.” In s2 Hopper says “ I think everyone is on edge- you, me, Will most of all. (when talking about Will’s ptsd/trauma)” 

- in s1 They claim Will just “fell” over the edge of the quarry’s cliff. Later the only other queer coded character (Mike) jumps off the quarry cliff (where Will’s body was found) cause the homophobic troy forced him too jump. Troy even says earlier dead-Will is “flying with all the other fairies all happy and gay” (to Mike). And Troy says to Hopper El made Mike “fly” after jumping off the cliff. Friendship saved him from jumping off the edge metaphorically ( and he’ll prob eventually be happy and gay too).

s2/3

-Will is seeing a therapist . And we are told he has ptsd and will experience the anniversary effect, personality changes,nightmares, having episodes, etc. And things “will get worse before they get better”.  Mike also asks if what Will is seeing is “real or like the doctors say all in your head?” And Will continues to see hallucinations of the mf/upsidedown that only he can see initially.

-Hopper also agrees with owens mentioning how he knew guys with ptsd . joyce : “it’s not like he’s describing a nightmare. He talks about them like they’re real.” Hopper: “Yeah, because they’re not nightmares they’re flashbacks.I think he’s right about trauma.I think everyone is on edge (bringing that s1 ref back), Me you, Will, most of all.Nothing’s gonna go back to the way that it was. But it’ll get better.In time.”

-Nancy suffers from survivor’s guilt and drunkingly says she killed Barb. Jonathan says like Nancy he has “a weight that you that carry all the time . i feel it too.” (cough depression). He also says he tries to be there for Will but says about Will “he’s not the same. maybe things can’t go back to the way they were. (mirroring Hopper’s words earlier that season)”

-Jonathan said in s1 Joyce had “anxiety issues” than Nancy says in s3 “you really are your mother’s son... you worry too much.” Then we see him look worried after the comment.

- in s2, Axel & a scientist both call El and Will “schizos” because of their powers. In s3 mrs driscoll isn’t believed about the supernatural cause she’s schizophrenic-but like Joyce/Terry was right.

- Kali saves a woman named Dottie (a british slang term for crazy)  from a mental hospital and then compares herself and El to dottie. saying her non-powered gang is “Like us ...outsiders... society discarded them.”  In graphitti we even see the title “obedlam” a british poem about discarding the mentally ill and leaving them homeless.  El before this sees a mentally ill man screaming “we’re all dead!” Kali’s friend says to El, after this encounter they were “dead all of us” until kali “saved them here” (points to head) “and here” (points to heart). Pointing to the theme of love and friendship helping those with such issues. Similar to the cliff analogy.

-The cycle of ab*se. Max in s2 says she’s afraid of becoming like Billy (her ab*ser). We see Billy mimic his ab*ser neil and inflict pain on max. In s3 we see the roots of his behavior are linked to mimicking Neil- Neil in a flashback says  about baseball “what are you scared?”  “ did i raise a p*ssy for a son”. So young Billy later in a fight says to a boy “ what are you scared to fight me? fight me p*ssy. (as he beats the boy)” Deflecting his anger of his father on to someone else. In s3, We see as a kid he used to say to Neil “don’t hurt her” (his mom)-specifically after  Neil backhand slaps her -but we later see possessed Billy backhand slap Max (just like neil).  The resentment to his mother leaving - festered into how he views women and max negatively . And his attraction to mrs wheeler prob is linked to him subconsciously missing his mother. Max in s2 even says  he can’t take it out on her mother so he does so to her instead (we even have Billy hallucinate hurting mrs wheeler).We see in s2 the cycle of abuse is there- Billy mimics Neil, and then Max mimics Billy. Billy harrasses Max and yells “SAY IT!” (mimicking Neil).  Max like Billy later  yells “SAY IT” and uses a bat /violence to stand up for herself against Billy- which earlier she said she was trying to combat … explaining she can be angry like Billy sometimes but she never wants to be like him (her nickname symbolizing this: aka ‘mad max’).  Billy’s last dying words were an apology to Max- for becoming her neil. And we hopefully will see Max break this cycle.

- Will says his now memories (that he describes like dreams) are “growing “, “spreading “,and “killing”. While Kali says they need to face their father and (as Brenner) says El has to confront her “wound” or else it’ll “grow”, “spread” and “eventually it’ll kill her.” Kali says she used to be like El . She used to bottle her pain away and it “spread.” But she then says  “I confronted my pain and I finally began to heal (from those wounds).” We also see with jonathan and nancy when describing “shared trauma” zoom in onto the scars on their hands. The wound heeled into a scar so to speak.

S2 & 3 ENDINGS

both have Hopper do a speech that delves into dealing with trauma/depression but still finding good along the way.

-s2 Hopper outside the snowball: “how are you holding up? Yeah, that feeling never goes away. It is true what they say, you know. Everyday it does get easier.”

-s3 Hopper monolouge : “ Feelings jesus. For so long, i’d forgotten what those even were. I’ve been stuck in one place,in a cave you might say , a deep dark cave (cough s2 supernatural cave). For the first time in a long time, i started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. Life... yeah sometimes it’s painful .sometimes it’s sad, and sometimes it’s suprising... happy.. And when life hurts you, because it will .remember the hurt . The hurt is good. It means you’re out of that cave.”

BUT YES- St has nothing to do with mental health/trauma, we’re just “crazy” and “projecting”. It’s not like some of ya’ll  act pompous when you just have a bias and get pissy at the idea of relating to characters you “other” as “crazy” or “damaged” irl or anything (so attack people for pointing it out). Or (benefit of the doubt) you are just like.... oblivious... or just a kid who doesn’t know better XD

[randomingoftherandomness]

What I am hoping for from Winner is King ( 烽火流金)

Okay, so at this point, let’s just be reals here, Word of Honor has kinda set the bar for me in terms of standards to expect from the slew of danmei adaptations this year. Granted, I know that there are some who think the way it was adapted was not up to their standards and that it could have been done better, please don’t bring it on this post because this is not the post for it.

In this post, I’m going to talk about  Winner is King (*•̀ᴗ���́*)و ̑̑

Now, Sha Po Lang, the original novel, is for me one of the best things that I have read in a very long while. As such, I can be rather precious about what I am hoping to see come alive on the show and what I am hoping will be present in the portrayals I see. I know there are some concerns regarding the script and behind the scenes stuff - and they are very valid concerns that I feel too! - and with the recent announcement that instead of 45 episodes, we are only getting 40, I can foresee that there could be some rushed handlings of the very plotty nature of the source material and perhaps a sense that style can trump substance.

But as the actual show isn’t beaming right into our eyeballs just yet, here are some things I am looking forward to seeing in Winner is King and some things that I am crossing my fingers will make the final cut! 

Warning for some novel spoilers ahead. I’ll keep it under the read more.

Tagging @zhongwans because I said I would haha...

Things I am looking forward to:

The Changgu dynamic. I think it goes without saying that if the chemistry between your leads is a dud, the show doesn’t need to even pass Go, it can just shuffle itself off the board because it will be dead in the water. The Changgu dynamic has to be nailed; I need to see that self-doubt, that caring for the other but coming at it from the wrong way, that awkwardness that comes with trying to hold back the burden of your love and care because you don’t want to overwhelm the other... 

I need Gu Yun to be shamelessly sweet with his words and his coaxing of his Yan Wang from a sulk. I need Changgu saying “I hate you to death, Gu Yun” (pining)

Hu Ge Er. Let me just be clear here, I will cheer when she dies, but I hope that how they handle her characterisation will do her justice. There is no excusing the level of horrible that she is, but I hope that she isn’t written as a single dimension abusive piece of shit. Nuance, is what I am looking for. I need her to be the villain and the reason for Chang Geng.

I. NEED. THE. WOLF. ATTACK. SCENE. OUTSIDE. OF. YANHUI. TOWN. aka The First Time They Meet

There is legit no excuse for them to fuck this up, but the Steampunk elements. I would not know what else to say if they fuck this one thing up that is so integral and basic to the love of this IP. They cannot fuck this up. I am very sure I will join people in rioting if they do.

I need to see my Red Kites, my Heavy and Light Armours, my Dragons... I need to see the steam powered lamps, the iron puppets... I need them to get the Wind Slashers right. I need them to get this world-building right ok? I need to be dropped into this show and just swoon over just how accurate to imagination everything looks. Tencent does have the blessed ability to make very good looking productions, so on this note, I am assured. 

I need them to get the human element right; I need to understand why Gu Yun is the way he is, I need to know why the members of the Lin Yuan Pavillion will back Chang Geng and why they won’t. I need to know why Liao Chi would betray the Emperor. I need them to make me feel; I want them to make my heart hurt when Chang Geng’s heart is hurting, I want them to make me cry when Gu Yun is at his lowest and feels like he can’t go on. I want them to make me laugh, I want to feel for Shen Yi and Miss Chen’s awkward courting. 

On that note, I hope they get the Shen Yi and Gu Yun dynamic right too! These two are bros ok? Life and death, ride or die, best bros forever and I need, need them to nail just how integral these are to each other and how much they chose each other as family. I need the bickering, I need the protectiveness, I need the banter. 

I also need Chang Geng conspiring to marry Shen Yi off quickly so that he can have Gu Yun all to himself lol but lbr here if we can get an ending for this show from Tencent that even breathes the same atmosphere of air as satisfactory I will praise the heavens

The Bone of Impurity. I don’t know to what extent they will cover this or if they would do it the way the book does it, but this being an element that is integral to Chang Geng, I would be surprised if they dropped it entirely. So yeah, I am looking forward to seeing Chang Geng fretting and worrying and getting Bone of Impurity attacks.

Just the way that Gu Yun allows himself to be cared for my Chang Geng and how Chang Geng lets Gu Yun care for him

I want one acupuncture hedgehog scene please and thank you

I do want to see how they handle Chang Geng and his elder half-brother; how that dynamic unfolds will be something to pay some attention to, I think

Oh! That moment when Chang Geng kneels down in front of his brother and tells him to please bury any talk of his marriage and revealing to his brother the scars that he carries from his time living under Hu Ge Er’s roof (this is one brand of Whump that I promise you will hurt you very badly and it will be very good)

The argument at Jiangnan is something I really think will also make the final cut. It wouldn’t make sense to drop it seeing as this is a pivotal shift in their relationship where Chang Geng is finally holding his ground and not bending over backwards and believing everything his Yi Fu says. And this was the catalyst for their four year separation so yeah. I hope they do this justice.

I am not a betting person, but I high key bet that the scene between Gu Yun and the previous Emperor where he tells the man, “If you go, then I won’t have anyone left” and this being the moment that softens the dying fucker’s heart enough to give him a bracelet of beads that will be a major plot point towards the end

THE. BATTLE. SCENES.

Things I am hoping will happen:

At this point, speculation is that the point that tripped Winner Is King up for a recheck was the politics. This year is the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Communist Party in China and rumour has it that shit be sieving thick and so a lot of shows are erring on the side of caution. 

Politics is the highest likelihood of a recheck but I am hoping that it won’t be dumbed down or watered down too much because the politics and the way things played out in the book was absolutely divine and I really want to see that court intrigue and scheming and interplay unfold.

I’ve mentioned in my most recent podcast episode that I am banking on this show to scratch my itch for a Nirvana in Fire level of plottiness and infinite craftiness of the characters and I am crossing all fingers and toes for that to happen because All! The! Characters! Hold! Their! Own! And I need to see that play out please I am not asking for much...

The final sea battle with the Pope. I wouldn’t even know where they would even begin to shoot that scene but this is something I would love to see happen.

The Bone of Impurity attack after Gu Yun sneakily left the capital. That was the scene that caught me and hooked, lined and sinkered me for Chang Geng as a character. Listening to this scene be brought to life in the audio drama has really hammered it home that if they make this bit into the show, I will watch and weep if it is done right. 

Cao Niangzi being Cao Niangzi. I am thinking it might not happen the way I want, but I just need them to get them right.

Ge Chen peeing on the enemy’s face. Please. I laughed so hard. I need this. It will be a balm to my soul.

Please, I need Gu Yun’s soul crushing flute playing like I need Gong Jun to always be absolutely horrible at singing because baby this is your niche and this is your charm own it work it

I also need Gu Yun stealing a bamboo flute from a 10 year old because he got jealous please and thank you

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town

I want to see that moment that Gu Yun hears first hand from someone who had knowledge of what Hu Ge Er would do to a baby Chang Geng and the horrible abuse she inflicted on him, because up to that point, he only knew that something went on, but never to the extent that revelation wrought unto him

Any of the Bone of Impurity moments; any mention of it, any visual representation of it... Gosh, just the idea of having the Bone of Impurity made visual is just... Ugh. Yes. Please. The suffering.

[bonus] Things I wish will happen but will probably not:

The hot spring scene or a version of it

An implication that baby cannibalism was involved in the making of a Bone of Impurity

The scene where they get to the goddess doll (the description of it in the book was so bone chilling and if they do this I will have nightmares, I’m just warning you)

I really, really want a scene where, after being crowned Emperor, Chang Geng goes to the frontlines to reclaim the South and upon hearing that he was there, Gu Yun immediately panicked like he was about to be caught with his pants down doing something illegal when all he did was ordered his subordinates to keep news of his injuries from being reported back to the capital

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town; especially when they were with the Barbarians

I want to see some version of Hu Ge Er realising what she has done to her own child and to Chang Geng

Okay this got super long but what are you guys looking forward to seeing when Winner is King hits our screens? I’m looking forward to creating content for this fandom when it hits ೕ(˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑) In the meantime, sound off on what you’re expecting and what you’re maybe wary about!

[do-not-eat-the-dove]

I need to write this, I need to write this because I am so fucking angry. I am so, so fucking angry, and every problematic shipper I want you to read this. Read it, all the way through, because if you don’t then you are ignoring children you might have harmed.

Tw’s for: beastiality mention, sexual abuse mention, paedophilia mention, typical darkfic trigger warnings in essential

When I was nine, I moved into the Aphmau fandom. Earlier than that, I was an avid reader of Harry potter. Earlier than that, I was into stampy cat and iballisticsquid and skydoesminecraft. I have been in fandoms earlier than my body can remember, and I started in on wattpad when I was very, very young. Just writing, only writing. I had a vague understanding of what sex and smut was as a child, because of unmoderated youtube thumbnails. I ran into sexual themes online, because that is what a child does okay? I will admit that I knew about sex as a child if only barely.

As a kid in fandom, you don't know how to moderate things. As a literal fucking elementary schooler who doesn’t know how to differentiate “Their” “They’re” and “There”, you do not know the difference between right and wrong. You do not understand what an 18+ warning is, and you don’t know what the fuck a dead dove is and why anyone would want to eat it in the first place. You do not understand, and i think that this is something that problematic content creators expect of literal fucking children, and i also think that it is extremely irrational and condescending for you to do so.

When I was a bit older, maybe twelve/thirteen, I found ao3. I found twitter, tumblr, bnha and anime. I was excited because it was a community, so I became super involved as fast as I could. I had still not hit puberty yet. I hadn’t even learned the pythagorean theorem yet. I didn’t entirely understand variables and I had no clue that washing your face was basic hygiene. I am bringing this up to display to you that I. WAS. A. CHILD. A kid. Five years ago at this point I still had trouble jump-roping. I was a kid who had average decision-making skills for their age and who found the idea of boys gross, crushes were based on who was fastest in gym class.

I let go of tumblr because I couldn’t grasp what on earth it was supposed to be used for and how it was supposed to be used, I posted shitty depressed memes on reddit because I thought I was edgy. And then I got involved in fandom twitter.

Me, my friends, we recommended each other cute ship threads and discussed Notps and did “toxic fandom stuff” because we were children who still celebrated valentines day with sweet-tarts and holographic paper cards. I still knew jack shit about sex and relationships because as a child sex education is just “this is a penis, this is a vagina, this is how you don’t get pregnant, any questions?” 

So when one day, i decide to type “BNHA” into the search bar of twitter, intent on finding cute things to share with my online friends and instead am greeted with a picture of a character raping another character, I don’t know exactly what to do.

Let me repeat that; I looked up JUST the word “BNHA”. Just that. Nothing else. 

And I, a child, who has no decision making skills, clicks on the post. Because it makes me feel funny, and children are curious.

As a middle schooler. As a child who had the average physical and mental capacity to resist impulse, aka none, as someone who used Uwu and OwO unironically, who thought spelling “as” with a Z made me quirky and fun, discovered a main-tagged post of a character being nsfwed in a sexual assault.

From here, I explored. What you people don’t get is that is what children do. That is what children DO. And you, in all your wonderful wise ways, decide that it is on ME. On someone who had no understanding of what this was, to be the adult and say “I do not think this is right.” You, the thirty year old woman who maintags, are saying that to me, who was a twelve year old. 

I think the most traumatic thing I read during that time was an aged-down character, who went from fifteen to five, being sexually abused and pimped out by his mother and forced to have sexual contact with dogs.

Today, I suffer from intense intrusive thoughts that I do not think I need to be diagnosed for, because constantly wondering if you’re going to be sexually assaulted by every single man you come in contact with, having to shoo away evil disgusting thoughts that have made you involuntarily gag and nearly vomit, having to deal with these awful things in my brain is proof enough. Today, I have such a deep-rooted fear of sex and men and relationships that despite me being entirely Heterosexual, wanting children in the future, having these ideas of a family, I feel incapable. 

Today, I saw a fic saying that it was my own fault if I found their problematic fic, and today I raged for every child that is going to be messed up by people who choose to blameshift just because they want to use maintags. 

As fandom spaces get younger, and the fan age range grows bigger I have noticed a distinct uptick in who is reading and consuming fan content on social media. I know eleven year olds, ten year olds, I have met a nine year old child who messaged like they were twenty. All of these children read fanfiction of characters that they adore, and click on fics that include those characters because they adore them.

I’m going to share another experience that I’ve had with sex and sexual abuse that was self-inflicted, but normalized by the content that I had consumed. As a child, a thirteen year old, I messaged adult men. I went on omegle text chat, I found forums for sexual roleplay, I talked to probably a dozen adults in sexual manners without them knowing or realizing. Even a few women, and I am completely certain this experience is going to scar me until the day that I fucking pass. It makes me feel empty inside, but you know what? Your fics normalized that for me. I read a tweet from an adult, someone much older than me, who talked about having gone into adult spaces as a child. They did the same thing as me. It is a trend, but while I recognize that I was too young to know what I was seeing, reading, hearing from people who were older than me and therefore authority figures, they blamed themself. And that is the most heartbreaking fucking thing.

When you maintag. When you use a main tag, that a child who does not know how to filter out scrolls down on, and they decide that this will be an okay thing for them to consume because adults know better, will you look them in the eyes and tell them the fear of things they don’t understand and haven’t even been introduced to yet is their fault? Will you tell them that ao3 is an adult site for adults and it’s their fault for being stupid enough to read it? Will you tell them that the images that will play in their minds for years until they’re desensitized and so so scared that they’re now a bad person because of it, will you tell them that it was their fault for clicking on it when they were seven, eight, nine? 

Frankly, I do not give a shit about what you write. If it is in rpf and you still push it i will think you are a bad person, but other than that I could never care less. But I do care what you tag, because If you write the word bnha on twitter with an image of a young child's favorite character being sexually brutalised? If you maintag a fic where someone is starved till they are nearly dead, infantilised, sexually abused during all of it, and leave it out in the open on a site you know has children, in a fandom you know is targeted towards kids. If your tags leave a child open for attack, harm, mental scarring? I care, because I will not let another child be blamed for something they themselves did not fully understand the weight of.

[quakywakey]

Titans 2x05 Gar and Rachel Rewrite

(A bit of context:

I’ve had the idea of doing a Titans season 2 rewrite and this is something that’s spawned out that. It’s Gar and Rachel’s argument from episode 5 but with some touch ups here and there, the main one being a new context. 

At the end of episode 1 Kori goes with Dick to help him train the new Titans. After deathstroke finds out about the Titan’s revival, he sends his daughter Rose Wilson {Aka Ravager} to break into the tower and see what they can do. She is captured by the team and kept in a cell within the tower for interrogation. Dick is especially paranoid about Deathstroke due to the Titans history with the Terminator and begins training the kids non-stop. Jason Todd talks to Rose and is able to get the location of Slade’s base. After an incident where Rachel loses control and nearly kills Jason, Gar goes to check on him. Jason tells Gar about the intel he dug up from Rose and Gar has the idea for him and Jason to sneak out there and take on Dr Light. The two face Dr Light and take him down relatively easily, but just when they think the fight is over, a smoke bomb erupts and Jason is taken by Deathstroke. Gar returns to the tower in a panic to find Rachel injured but breathing and Rose gone.)

Rachel eyes slid open like a slow garage door as the dim orange of the room lights lit her vision. She looked around slowly scanning the area, broken glass, flipped tables, the Titans common room was not looking its best to say the least. Her eyes still a fog of colour, but she noticed what looked to be a person with a familiar shade of green hair. “G-gar?” She tried to sit herself up only to be shot with an awful throbbing on her head and side.

“Take it easy, Rach.” He said, “You got hit pretty bad.” she ran her head across her forehead, finding a bandage. He slid a small bowl across the table, “I made soup. It’s not much but it sure as hell beats cauliflower pizza.” She slowly tired to push herself up, gritting her teeth. Gar rushed around to support her as she made the ninety degree tilt. Grabbing the accompanying spoon she went to get a small amount to taste, “Don’t worry, I made sure it was tongue-burn proof.”

“Greatly appreciated.” She took a spoonful of the soup, “This is really nice, you’re not that bad of a cook.” She looked at her other arm, which was clenched to her waist, she took notice of the tight bandage and she could feel the stitches underneath it. “And not that bad of a nurse either.”

“Learnt from the best. Larry is an amazing chef, he’s good with bandages too.”

She lightly chuckled before recoiling back from the pain laughing inflicted on her waist. “You didn’t get too scared did you? When you found me half dead on the floor?”

“More scared of the blood than I was for you. You’ve survived worse.” He replied with a smirk.

“Gee thanks.” She replied sarcastically, the pair chuckled. “Where were you?” She asked, “I couldn’t find you or Jason last night.” She asked, quickly recalling her small search for the boys before Rose’s blade gashed her side during her escape.

“Well, you know that signature I found? I took Jason there to get the drop on Dr Light. Jason needed a win after yesterday, obviously that turned into a major loss.”

“On your own?” She exclaimed, ready to chastise him, only stopping when she realised he had already suffered a lecture from Dick. “What about Jason? I was expecting that wiseass to have something to say.” She returned to a more stoic tone of voice.

“Jason... Jason is missing.” He lowered his head in shame. “He was taken by Deathstroke and we haven’t found him.” 

“Oh shit.” She displayed an uncharacteristic level of concern for Robin. Rachel glanced over to Gar’s wrist, noticing a scratch mark not unlike the one she had on her back. He quickly pulled down his sleeve over the wound. “Gar what was that?” She spoke with urgency.

“It’s nothing... -it’s fine.” It wasn’t nothing, nor was it fine, but he didn’t feel right trying to push a confrontation with Rachel right now, as much as he may want to.

“Gar.” She persisted, “Tell me.” Gar paused for a moment, the itch to confront her was becoming unbearable and her indirect invitation only irritated it more and more. He finally spoke. 

“How long has it been happening?” He said, his voice edging between a whisper and regular speech.

“Has what been happening?” She pretended to not know.

“You know exactly what I mean.” He got slightly louder. Rachel paused, her lack of words exuding guilt. “Care to explain why this scary tentacle thing erupted from your hand and cut me?”

“I-i’m sorry...” 

“Rachel, why haven’t you been honest with me? About your powers.”

“...And you’re a paragon of truth?” She retorted with a deadpan voice. “It’s not my fault Jason is missing and I nearly went postal.”

“Are you saying it’s mine?” 

“I didn’t say that.” She rolled her eyes, diverting her gaze away from him.

“Then what’s the face for?”

“...It’s nothing.” She continued to break eye contact.

“What?” He exclaimed as more of a statement than a question. 

She then looked him dead in the eye. “I understand, why you didn’t tell Dick about your little plan, but you could’ve come to me.”

“Rach-” 

“Because you decided to sneak off and play hero, I was horribly outmatched when Rose escaped. If you were planning to go, for fuck sake you could’ve at least told me! I could’ve helped if you didn’t keep it a secret.”

“How? You can’t even control yourself!”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, I saw you yesterday at the training room. You couldn’t bring it back in. Dammit, Rachel you nearly killed Jason! Not to mention your creepy black cloud of razor blades that nearly took my hand off. I least now I know where you got those marks on your back”

“Oh, so you’re spying on me now?”

“I’m not spying on you, I saw it when we were sparring. Don’t come at me about keeping secrets.”

Rachel stood up in spite of the physical pain it caused. “First of all, my powers are fine. If I had been there, the guy wouldn’t know up from down and Jason would be home safe and sound to make more stupid decisions with you. What did you do, Gar? Did you growl at him, was he real scared? If you and Jason hadn’t been so stupid and thought it through, then none of this would’ve happened-” 

“Screw you!” His eyes turned from a calming hazel to an acidic green, the match inside him sparking into a flame before simmering back. He saw the mix of fear, anger and sadness in her face. “Rachel I...” His speech tapered, “I didn’t mean- I’m sorry I-”. She said nothing, just slowly walked off to the computer room, holding her side. 

Gar slumped to the floor, head in his palms, staring at the bowl of soup he made, going cold. “I’m such an Idiot.”

[penmankendallinterlude]

Extensive Press Release

from the pen of Mat Smith:

PAUL KENDALL

Boundary Macro

Boundary Macro is the fifth solo album from producer, engineer and electronic musician Paul Kendall.

Beginning with his tenure in anarchic London post-punk unit Dry Rib and on through his respected studio work with Recoil, Wire, Barry Adamson, Nine Inch Nails and many others, Kendall has always maintained an acute focus on the intricate properties of sound. Each of his solo albums has showcased an approach to complex sound design as well as the darker, emotive side of sonic processing. His pre-lockdown live sets with Daniel Dickel as LeCabLe were noisy, highly sculpted improvisations that drew a connective line to his work on the grimy fringes of industrial music.

The impetus for Boundary Macro came through a remix completed for Downwards, the label run by Karl O’Connor (aka Regis). O’Connor was familiar with Kendall’s tenure as an in-house producer, engineer and mixer for Mute Records in the 1980s and 1990s, and sought him out for the remix of Veronica Vasicka’s ‘From Here’ in 2018. “He liked the remix I did for him and I remember him saying to send him some of my stuff if I so wished,” recalls Kendall. “I sent him the ten tracks that make up Boundary Macro. He came flying back to me having fallen in love with a couple of pieces and offered to put the album out on Downwards. It really was a seductive enthusiasm and I readily agreed.”

Boundary Macro was recorded after the COVID-19 pandemic had first emerged and our daily lives were suddenly put on hold. “I experienced a sort of creative paralysis from the start of March until the end of April due to early lockdown and an endless concern about food supplies,” Kendall reflects. “Around May I started to experiment sound processing apps on my iPad – apps like Borderlands Granular, Tardigrain and Enso. I was astonished at the relative affordability of these apps in comparison to studio multi-effects units or computer plug-ins.”

Having identified the tools to unlock his lockdown-inflicted writer's block, Kendall began experimenting with recordings of his own voice and the Leaf Audio Soundbox instrument, capturing hours of improvised performances which were then microscopically edited, superimposed and processed to form eight of the tracks on the album. The album was completed by the addition of two older pieces created using completely different methods (‘Distor ADIO’ and ‘Are You In?’), but which were entirely in keeping with Kendall’s May 2020 experiments.

It’s easy to see why O’Connor fell for these tracks. These pieces each have a latent energy, like industrial techno with all the familiar references points suppressed under heavy distortion, blocks of noise and an oppressive, cloying blanket of impenetrable tension; music devoid of any discernible certainty, made at a time when life’s certainties had become abruptly upended. The name of the thunderous, vaguely orchestral opening track – ‘Restless’ – encapsulates the mood of this album: sounds and ideas arrive, hang around, evolve, mutate and are then immediately replaced.

On ‘The Chattering, Class’, we hear Kendall’s distinctive attention to atomised detail, with an ever-changing array of fluttering, backward sounds and brittle textures, while a subtle hint of an exotica melody feels like lonely wind chimes in an abandoned landscape. On ‘InHarmonic’ we experience a characteristic disquiet, built from a dense and unswerving drone and pulsing signals offset by minimalistic, shamanistic percussion patterns. On ‘ReBurst’ rumbling, ghostly processed voices jab at you viciously, like a pissed-off demon roused from its sleep, its relentless onslaught buffeting you like a wild storm; in its wake comes a distorted, sinewy sequence, as insistent, angular and thrilling as a prowling heavy metal solo.

The concept for Boundary Macro unifies an approach that Kendall takes to both images and sound. “I absolutely love macro photography,” he explains. “Macro photography is where you magnify the minutiae of an object. It's a similar method that I’ve used a lot in sound design, where I take found sounds then exploit and zoom in on them.”

If ‘macro’ is the descriptor for Kendall’s process, then ‘boundary’ is about revealing another personal side of himself – his hearing difficulties, a condition caused by too many loud studio sessions. “A boundary can be thought of as being like binary, with its two states – on and off. With this album, the boundary in question is the one between my ability to hear and not hear. Because of that deafness, I sometimes have to rely on graphical representations of sound to ensure there’s not something happening sound-wise which I am unable to hear. It’s also about the supposed boundary between sound and noise, which, for me, does not exist. It’s also the idea of the boundary as a limit – but a limit to go beyond, not one that stops you. Suffering with loss of hearing could have easily acted as a limit for me. Boundary Macro is the sound of me going beyond that limit.”

Boundary Macro by Paul Kendall is released on vinyl and digital on Downwards Records, 29 July 2021 through Boomkat: https://boomkat.com/products/boundary-macro

Track list:

Restless

The Chattering, Class

Nowhere, A Twisty

Missing The Fierce

Contrail

InHarmonic

Distor ADIO

ReBurst

No Door

Are You In?

Paul Kendall solo discography

The Faulty Caress (as Piquet) (Parallel Series / Mute, 1996)

Angleterror (Cat Werk Imprint, 2011)

Family Value Pack (Ant-Zen, 2014)

Mechanical Generation (Vol. 1) (self-released 2017)

[nevermindirah]

Bookernile’s Book of Nile WW1/1920s AU

@bookernile​ wrote just the GREATEST tags on a miles-long meta post I contributed to the the Nile Marine Discourse and they deserve their own post, copypasta’ed with permission:

#long post #tog meta #nile freeman #booker | sebastien le livre #im seriously in love with this and so im writng an essay in the tags #i think nile should also read said #in a lot of ways modern military members are 'progressive' #in their understanding of terrorism and extremsim #never making the connection that their place in these countries adds to more people becoming radicalized and more terrorists #so she needs to read said as well #but legit i love this #I have like 5 paragraphs written in my ww1 au im never going to finish #where nile as a black american 2 generations removed from slavery #talks to booker about what it was like living through pogroms against french jewish people #while they talk about antiblack pogroms in the united states at the time #spurred by the resurgence of the kkk #in the early 1920s #aka post war nile coming home to watch as americans inflict more violence #threatened by black soldiers with guns #and talking to booker about it #and connecting through that #and them murdering some klan when they try to form in chicago #antisemitism #racism #writing ref

First of all, in the fic I’m writing where Booker eventually becomes team therapist after spending a century hyperfocused on decolonial trauma studies, he’s going to loan Nile his copy of Orientalism and they’re both going to Learn Things and also it’s gonna get super sexy thank you very much for your Very Correct assessment of how badly Nile needs to read Said you will receive a credit in my fic for this Very Correct idea

But more importantly YOUR WW1 AU OH MY GOD

If Nile were 26 in 1920 she would’ve been born in 1894, 29 years after abolition, her parents would have been Reconstruction babies and her grandparents former slaves. Reconstruction turned into Jim Crow lightning-fast and Nile’s family were trendsetters in the Great Migration. There’s a devastating version of this where Nile’s father is killed by a lynch mob, but it’s your AU, maybe her father’s alive and well and she doesn’t have to lose any of her family to lynchings or the war or ye olde coronavirus (so many parallels to 2020 oh my GOD)

Nile would probably definitely be throwing hands at the 1919 Chicago Race Riot, maybe she meets Booker out on the streets fighting white supremacists or he pulls her into the Chicago Hebrew Institute to patch her up. Or maybe Nile doesn’t have to suffer and fight all the damn time and she meets this pretty white boy at a jazz club and she notices his accent and they get to talking about why he left France and how stupid he feels for thinking the US would be any less antisemitic (Chicago was way more antisemitic than France in the 1920s but Booker wouldn’t have known that 10 years previously when he immigrated in the wake of the Dreyfus affair).

Chicago had the largest Klan membership of any urban area in the early 1920s, and this Encyclopedia of Chicago article claims that a Catholic newspaper doxxing Klansmen is what caused the Klan to disappear / go underground in Chicago by 1925. Seems, uh, unlikely that white Catholics deserve all the credit for that in real life, and in your au it can TOTALLY be Nile and Booker absolutely DESTROYING the Klan. Murdering Klansmen is the MOST ROMANTIC first date idea for a Black-Jewish couple in 1920 or really any time (anyone who wants to date me take note I guess, except I have no violence related skills?)

I was Today Years Old when I learned about the Chicago Black Renaissance, which wikipedia says hit its peak in the ‘30s but Black art was definitely exploding in Chicago from the start of the Great Migration.

Maybe Nile collaborates with muralist William Edouard Scott who "who refused to portray Black people as slaves+laborers". Maybe Nile sits for a portrait with Eldzier Cortor, who created gorgeous nudes of Black women that celebrated their power and humanity alongside their beauty.

Maybe Booker proposes to Nile on the dance floor at a club where Louis Armstrong is playing.

If all you ever want to share with this fandom of your WW1 au is these tags, I will cherish them always. But if you want to share those 5 paragraphs, or write bullet point brain dump fic-outline fic, or call out sick from all your responsibilities and write 10k or 50k or however long fic that will almost certainly become one of the defining pieces of Nile Freeman fandom, ENCOURAGEMENT I ENCOURAGE YOU IF YOU WANT TO DO IT OH MY GOD DO IT

[national-nobody-writes]

2020 Creator Wrap

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

I was tagged by the oh so talented @irolltwenties!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I’m not a particularly prolific writer (WIPs for days, but completed projects? Not so much). Somehow in this hell year though, I did manage to complete more fics than in any previous year for a total of seven new works (~49k words, all on ao3), plus a chunky chap of a long running WIP (~20k words) so I’m actually pretty damn proud of myself! I also made some new fandom friends in 2020 which has easily been one of the biggest delights of the year & has definitely helped my creative momentum, so ty all for that. <3

Counting down from 5, here are my favs:

5. Downtime

I have endless love for JayRoy and it felt so good to finally finish something for them for once this year! All of my past WIPs primarily focused on them ended up firmly in my graveyard folder, including the fic that this one shot was originally meant to be connected to. I liked the way this turned out well enough to clean it up and post it on its own though, so at least now I can say that I have something published for them at last.

(Also it got me back into the JayRoy headspace enough to outline a whole YJ/Earth16 JayRoy fic that I’m excited to start drafting in 2021, so we’ll see where that goes...)

2.3k NSFW; A mix of playful sweet and roughness, just like them.

4. Mirror Image

Bluepulse Week really saved me this year in terms of forcing me to just write, damn it! Did I finish all the prompts this year? Nope. Did it get me to complete a handful of fics that I ended up really loving? Yes. This was one of them.

This fic zoomed into existence entirely out of necessity as an alt idea to a prompt that I had a much longer idea for, but didn’t have time to complete. It then got a positive enough reception that I decided to turn it from a crack-adjacent, passable one-shot to a slightly more developed two-shot by request of one of my commenters. Really, it was writing that second chapter that ended up endearing the fic to me.

6.3k Humor, time travel shenanigans & accidental dating. This fic is the sweetness of teenage crushes, the confusing mess of discovering your sexuality, & laughter with your best friend.

3. Soft Wesper One Shots

Would you look at that, another nsfw piece. Could it be that I’m starting to get to the point where I can look back at completed nsfw fics without cringing terribly? Love that for me.

This fic took me by surprise, tbh. I wouldn’t consider myself a part of the grisaverse fandom (I’m utterly ambivalent toward the OG trilogy & have no plans to read them), but I did fall deeply in love with the whole Six of Crows gang earlier this year to the point of having quite the book hangover afterward, unable to pick up anything else except related fanfic for a couple weeks straight. These fluffy, nsfw scenes were born out of that, and I was pleasantly surprised to see such a positive response to them in the comments. The whole SoC gang has my heart, but the dynamic between Jesper and Wylan in particular got my writing fingers itching.

3.7k Domestic, post-canon fluff & tender sex with flirty Jesper & blushing Wylan abound.

2. Stick With Me

Ohh, I still get warm fuzzies thinking about this fic! If I’m only low-key proud of the first three on this list, this is one I’m legitimately very proud of. I had this idea on the docket already from a convo with @ivyxwrites early this year (or maybe last year? who knows, time means nothing anymore) but used Bluepulse Week as the excuse to finally get started, and I ended up adoring the process of writing it far more than I anticipated.

As much as I love planning out meticulously crafted, plotty stories, sometimes all you want to do is pick some well-loved tropes out of a hat instead and run with them (in this case: stuck in a cabin, only one bed, & heated argument leading to confession). It was freeing to just mess around and have fun with this fic, knowing pretty much right from the get-go how I wanted it to unfold and seeing it so vividly in my mind. It also probably helped that I was writing it for Ivy; it’s much easier for me to stay motivated when creating directly for my friends.

Finishing this was also such a serotonin-filled burst of pure victory for me since, as previously stated, I’m terrible at finishing projects--particularly multi-chap fics, particularly within a decent timeframe.

25.5k A showcase of the essence of what I love about the best friends-to-lovers dynamic. Part character study, part wires getting crossed & uncrossed, and whole idiots to lovers. This fic is the warmth in the pit of your stomach from a yearning made real & the sudden clarity of realizing what you were looking for had already been there all along.

1. The Rest Pt 1: Delicate (Remember Me Chap 4)

Oh, Remember Me. Of everything I’ve ever written, this story remains the one I’m most proud of and certainly the closest to my heart (not to mention the longest running, whoops). The first iteration of the beginning of this story was actually drafted back in 2017, but I walked away from it for a couple of years before deciding to dust it off and try again. It has spiraled into something far bigger in scope than I originally planned for, but I’ve come to love the path it’s led me down so far, and finishing this whopping 20k chunkster of a chapter was like breathing a huge (if temporary) sigh of relief.

This chap was particularly cathartic to write because it allowed for a number of convos between the boys that had really needed to happen, and was finally the ‘getting together’ moment the fic had been building toward for a while. It’s also so sappy I could die, but I will not be apologizing for that, lol. I was really hoping to get Chap 5 up this year as well, but y’know. Sometimes things just don’t work out like you plan for and that’s okay. 

Chap 5 does have 17k done already (with prob another 5-8k still to go) & I’m itching to share it, but no sense in rushing if the end result would suffer for it. Luckily, everyone in comments has been kind enough to beat me over the head with ‘take your time, we don’t mind/we’ll still be here!!!’ which I’m immensely grateful for. So, at least the pressure to hurry up and get it done is purely self-inflicted.

Of all my works, this fic has not only gotten the most passionate responses, but has also been the main gateway for me to interact with other bluepulse creators, which has been a real joy. Nothing brightens my day like the essays people leave me over there from time to time after discovering the fic. That kind of engagement is the highest praise, & responding is very self indulgent fun for me (bc, clearly, I could go on and on about this fic & YJ in general forever).

54.8k total so far (WIP). Bart & Jaime’s relationship journey from beginning to ‘current day’ (aka the moment the fic begins), using amnesia/memory restoration as a framing device. The high highs and low lows of first love, navigating a 3 yr age difference, and the long, winding road from best friends to lovers as the years roll on. Slow-burn-adjacent (in terms of both the boys’ relationship to each other and reader’s relationship to the fic bc of how long I take between goddamn updates).

Tagging @ivyxwrites, @incorrectbatfam, @paintingwithdarkness, @bluepulsebluepulse

[mythologyfolklore]

Don’t hurt Demeter’s trees. I’m serious. Don’t.

(Aka, why messing with the goddess of nurture, agriculture and fertility is a stupid idea)

.

Demeter loved her trees, she loved the Dryades who lived there and she loved their merry dancing in her sacred groves.

And she would be damned, if she let anyone take that cheer away from her!

But lately she had no reason to be cheerful.

No, it wasn't about Persephone; it was summer, thus she was here with her mother.

Oh no.

Demeter and the other gods were pissed at Erysikhthon, the king of a wealthy kingdom in Thessaly.

He was insolent and scorned the gods. None of the Olympians had ever received sacrifices from him, despite the prosperity they had bestowed onto the kingdom.

So they were holding council on what to do with him.

Ares had just suggested to flat out kill him in the most brutal manner to make an example, when Persephone entered the hall and informed her father, that a group of visitors asked for an audience.

The Olympians exchanged curious glances and murmured among another.

The King of the Gods nodded and asked his daughter to show the visitors in.

Persephone went back outside, only to return to the assembly with a group of visibly distraught and black-clad Dryades and, to everybody's surprise, with Nemesis, the dark and inescapable goddess of righteous indignation and retribution.

Zeus frowned: “I see, you must have been greatly wronged, if punishing Nemesis is with you. What happened?”

The Dryades started to chatter and rave all at once and all the Olympians could make out was “Erysikhthon”, “sacrilege” and “justice”.

Nemesis held up her hands. “Settle down, girls. Let me handle this.”

They fell into mournful silence and the daughter of Nyx stepped forth, her black sword in hand.

Her floating black hair and blazing eyes gave away her subdued wrath and her raven wings were partially spread.

“Hail to you, King of the Gods, Champion of Justice!”, she addressed Zeus. “And you happy Olympians. Hear me! And avenge a wrong that has been committed not only against the Nymphai behind me, but also against All-Nourishing Demeter.”

Demeter's face darkened. “Explain!”

Nemesis turned to her with a grim mien. “These are the Dryades¹ from your sacred grove at Dotion. And they are mourning their sister, the Hamadryas of the ancient and giant oak you loved so dearly. Erysikhthon went into your grove with several armed men, felled her tree and heeded not her warnings, nor the pleas of her sisters.”

One of the mourning Dryades darted forward and prostrated herself before Demeter's throne.

“Hear us, generous Demeter, Noble Goddess, Erynis²!”, she clamoured tearfully. “He murdered our beloved sister, just so he could build a roof for his new banquet hall! Oh Corn-Mother, we beseech you, avenge our fallen sister! Give us justice! Give us revenge! We cannot stay at that grove, as long as that godless villain walks around unpunished!”

Demeter rose from her throne and nodded.

“And punished he shall be”, she guaranteed the distraught Nymphai. “Now return from whence you came. And rest secure in the knowledge, that his will be a most horrible fate.”

The Dryades bowed to everyone and saw themselves out, pacified by the promise of retribution.

Nemesis lingered. “Do you have a plan, Potnia³?”, she asked the corn goddess. “Do you need my assistance?”

Demeter declined: “No, thank you, Nemesis. I already have the perfect punishment for him.”

The goddess of retribution nodded and left – without bowing to the Olympians.

For a few minutes the council sat in silence.

Then Zeus turned to his sister: “So, what is that perfect punishment you meant?”

The golden-haired goddess elaborated: “The fact, that Erysikhthon felled my tree to build himself a dining hall gives me an idea. So he wants to hold feasts in this hall that has my favourite Nymphe's blood all over it? He wants to hold banquets? Well, then hold them he shall! I will command Eris' daughter Limos to inflict him with cruel hunger! He shall feast and feast and never be sated! He shall starve in front of full tables!”

Zeus nodded. “Very well. A cruel punishment for a cruel man. Good luck, sister.”

Demeter nodded at him and left the assembly to set her plan into motion.

She summoned the strongest mountain Nymphai she knew and out of them chose a red-haired Oreias.

“There is a barren, frosty landscape at the furthest outskirts of Scythia. A grim landscape, where nothing grows”, she told the Oreias. “That desert is home to Limos, the Starvation-Bringer. What I want you to do is take my chariot and my Drakones and travel to that bleak place. Find Limos and give her an order from me: bid her to haunt Erysikhthon, king of Thessaly and not let my power of abundance stop her. I want her to fill him with her emptiness and unquenchable hunger. Good luck.”

The Nymphe thanked her and mounted the chariot and took to the skies with it.

And so the brave Oreias followed the directions given to her by Demeter.

It took her a while to get there, but when she did, it wasn't long until she found Limos.

The personification of hunger was practically crawling across the rocky wasteland, plucking the scarce weeds.

Even from afar, the sight of her almost made the poor Nymphe throw up with how horrific it was.

Limos was all skin and bones, her stomach was practically nonexistent and her teeth were rotting, her hair was thin and coarse and her skin a deathly shade of grey. Her ankles, elbows and feet were swollen and clubby, instead of fingers she had claws and her eyes were void of colour, life or even hope. Her ribs stood out of her chest like small tombstones.

She truly was hunger and starvation incarnate.

Not daring to come close to the Kakodaimona⁴, the Nymphe called out to her: “Limos!”

The wretched creature looked up and smiled hideously.

“I am as old as mankind”, Limos rasped. “But never before has anyone other than my mother and siblings visited me in my barren home. Welcome, child! I would offer you hospitality, but I have nothing to offer at all. What can I do for you?”

The Oreias called back: “I'm here at the bidding of Demeter!”

“The Corn-Mother? What could the Giver of Plenty possibly want from me?”

Demeter, as the goddess of nourishment and prosperity, and Limos, goddess of hunger and famine, were immortal adversaries and polar opposites, hence they could never meet in person.

The Oreias gave the Kakodaimona Demeter's order and after receiving Limos' answer (a slow nod), hurried to leave, for the Starvation-Bringer's presence was beginning to cause a gnawing feeling in her stomach.

Demeter was satisfied, when her messenger returned her chariot and informed her of Limos' consent.

That very night, the daughter of Eris entered the bedroom of Erysikhthon and bent over his sleeping form. Limos opened his mouth, placed her hands onto his forehead and stomach and filled him with her emptiness and unquenchable hunger, just as Demeter had ordered. Then she vanished, leaving the mortal to feel the gnawing sensation even in his sleep.

In the next months, Erysikhthon proceeded to devour his entire fortune, spending all the resources he had on food.

When he had no more money left, he went on to sell his daughter into slavery.

In her peril she prayed to Poseidon, who had once been her lover and received from him the gift of shapeshifting. In this manner she escaped every attempt at being sold and finally decided to run away altogether, away from her godless father.

Eventually his hunger drove him to digging his teeth into his own flesh and he died a most cruel death.

Demeter was the Giver of Plenty, the nurturer of the world.

Angering her always lead to suffering and misery beyond comprehension, for she was as unyielding and merciless as she was generous.

.

---

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1) Dryades are tree nymphs. Hamadryades are the nymphs of oak trees specifically. 2) Erynis ("The Fury/The Wrathful One"), one of Demeter's epithets. 3) Potnia ("Mistress/Lady/Queen"), one of Demeter's (and Persephone's) epithets. 4) The Kakodaimones ("Wicked Spirits") are malevolent spirits begotten by Eris, the goddess of strife and discord.