#aka Handler
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For Spy x Family characters' platonic relationships:
As far as we know, Anya has Frankie as best uncle,
and Handler as the nice auntie, who may or may not be Anya's bio mom(a theory for another day);
but we're not talking enough about mr. Henderson as an honorary grandpa enough, he's probably some of the only ones outside of WISE and few others who cares for the Forger family this much (even if it was mostly just him being a decent educator, and righting what he felt he had done wrong to someone he respects)
✨props to this elegant mister✨
#sxf#spy x family#character relations#Frankie Franklin#for best scruffy uncle#sylvia sherwood#aka Handler#henry henderson#best honorary grandpa#aside from the elderly couple neighbours#those 2 are no.1 neighbours#as for others relatives they need to step up their game#Yuri as of red circus arc probably improved a lil bit? maybe??#haha i just noticed only the top of Anya's head is peaking out at the bottom of the panel bc of the height difference#tho decent ppl is hard to come by especially during difficult times so that's saying something about mr. Henderson as a character#side(?) character appreciation time!
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My shayla 😫😫😫
#besides the kenji and sammy team up#this will be the best thing to come out of chaos theory#jurassic world chaos theory#chaos theory#jwct#the handler#raptor lady#aka the queen#chaos theory s3 spoilers
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AMAZING ART!!
Guys I did it!
I did the math and calculations and everything and finally made the B E S T Club Penguin art humanity ever saw! Hope you all enjoy it!
Oh and btw
Happy April Fools :3
(also credit to Agent, who made by @tofudemaru)
#club penguin#club penguin art#aunt arctic#gary the gadget guy#jetkie#Dot as a tree what she do#Puffle Handler aka Paige#captain rockhopper#Sensei who sips tea#dj cadence#penguin band#Our Glorious leader Herbert Percipal Bear and Klutzy!#Rory aka unnamed construction worker#Skip the bellhop#Gamma Gal and Shadow Guy#Jeff the Reff#canon character#NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!
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Dear Sumalee Montano,
Thank you for making my childhood with Arcee. Why are you in my nightmares now?
#maccadam#transfomers#tfp arcee#the handler#aka “Microbangs”#I'm using that forever#thanks for that odette#jurassic world#chaos theory#is it something i did?#i can change i promise
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a rom-com starring cillian murphy and margot robbie for the barbenheimer crowd when?
#the barbenheimer crowd aka me lmao#barbenheimer#cillian murphy#margot robbie#barbie (2023)#oppenheimer#barbie#barbara handler#barbie the movie#oppie#barbie 2023#j robert oppenheimer#alessa talks#text post
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“If I didn’t know it would align with your auto-erotic asphyxiation fetish, I would fucking strangle you.”
“I love it when you reference my file, baby.”
“Might do it anyway since you can’t swallow a fucking serum pill with your throat crushed.”
“Nnngh, Cricket. Death threats? I didn’t know we were already at third base.”
“Fuck you.”
“If you’re offerin’…”
A Particular Set of Skills Chp 18
#spideypool#fanfic#wade wilson#deadpool#peter parker#spider-man#a particular set of skills#aka the handler fic
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Today turned out to be a pretty horrid day. I woke up with reasonable symptoms until I wanted to celebrate my birthday with a cinnamon roll that triggered fuckin everything from my gastritis to my RA which in turn triggers my Addisons. My partner and I had our biggest argument in months. So rather than Hek and I going to the Halloween event downtown, I cried all morning. I was booked from 3-9pm until almost half of my clients canceled on me this morning. One of the few clients who didn't still hasn't paid.
#this is my place to scream into the abyss#my biggest struggle rn is that I feel like a failure of a handler#I feel like I have failed Hek#I am also now a certified Old Fuck#no one wants an old lady past her prime#aka me#tbh tho if I wasn't medicated Hek would be working even harder than she is
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*scrolls through the notes of that post looking for All The Wrong Questions mention*
#read that one as an adult; wasn't as good as ASOUE I'd say but I WILL say#if there was ever any children's author who was MADE to write noir 4 kids#it's Daniel Handler (aka Lemony Snicket)
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Inktober Day 25: DANGEROUS [ATEEZ x John Wick]
Handler!Wooyoung & Assassin!San
The sounds of an escalating gunfight filled Wooyoung's den in the Gwishin's HQ, even as he tried to smooth San's escape after his latest mission. “Hey, Red Cat, this is getting out of hand. You were only meant to deliver a warning not... whatever you did with their second-in-command.” "Is that complaining I hear, my dear handler?" San chuckled as he cut through another wave of henchmen with lithe grace. "Never. Only my food is getting cold and you are ruining a perfectly good suit for these idiots- Turn left and down the corridor- Watch out! Incoming at 3 o'clock." "This is such a drag," San sighed and Wooyoung watched him look around from the cover of a door. "I found a shortcut." The sound of an almighty crash made him yelp and nearly made him swallow his spoon even as his eyes grew wide as he stared at the place San's been. "Did you just jump out?!" A chuckle and a few gunshots were his only answer. "That's fucing dangerous, you moron!" Wooyoung wheezed, voicing his outrage through his coughs. "I didn't even check if it was a safe height to jump from!" "I never said it was going to be safe."
[ATEEZ days - Part 6]
Revamping the John Wick AU from April, now including everyone~ (Insp.: x, x)
#art#inktober#inktober2023#ateez#ateez x john wick#san#wooyoung#woosan#atzsource#ateez fanart#myart#ateezdays#jonghomies#so i'm back on this bandwagon#aka i need no excuse to draw assassin!san but got one anyway#now featuring handler!wooyoung#the high table is not amused but that's the gwishin for you
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my monhun ocverse is literally just dungeon meshi
#perhaps ill post them some time.......#the inherent desire to eat monsters i guess#its bc both of my hunters are autistic#zho is the obligatory wyverian whos outliving all his human (?) friends#yura newgen world hunter she loves beer women and weapons. she is so shy and more delicate than a flower petal.#picky eater who only eats what her handler makes aka cooking yuri
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ghost whisperer BF5 au
#sherman and spinner are melinda#they can see and talk to the ghosts#viv and axel are jim and andrea#aka the ride or die#instead of an antique store they open a comic book store in handler corners lmao#then vert comes in to browse the shop anf theres his moms ghost#IM CRYING I CAN HEAR THE LINE FROM THE SHOW IN SHERMANS VOICE AND IT'S SO FUNNY#EARTHBOUND SPIRITS OUR NANA CALLED THEM#hot wheels battle force 5
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working at an animal shelter has given me a lot more sympathy for dogs who are stressed the fuck out and display unwanted behaviors, and a lot less sympathy for people who do not try to lessen their stress to reign in those behaviors
#aka i think its the owner or handlers responsibility to control a dogs surroundings and behavior#and that if your dog is stressed out by certain situations you should NOT PUT THEM IN THOSE SITUATIONS#should be obvious but its not. sigh.
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How to Handle Your Diva || Vil Schoenheit
You’re the unofficial Vil Schoenheit handler, a role you assumed when you started dating him. Whether it’s calming his temper or redirecting his wrath, you’ve become the only one capable of keeping poor midguided souls from biting the dust.
aka the 7 times you save someone from getting poisoned or worse.
Instance 1: Chaos Duo
The serene backdrop of NRC’s gardens frames Vil Schoenheit like a painting come to life. Dressed in flowing silks and adorned with the perfect balance of sunlight and shadow, he’s mid-pose when—
“Yo, Vil! Say cheese!”
Ace and Deuce leap into the frame, pulling the most exaggerated faces imaginable. Deuce’s eyes are practically crossed, and Ace looks like he’s mid-sneeze. The photographer audibly chokes on his spit.
Vil freezes. The air goes cold. The birds stop singing. Somewhere in the distance, a withering rose drops a petal.
“What,” Vil says, so quiet it’s terrifying, “was that?”
“It was Ace’s idea!” Deuce blurts immediately, shoving Ace under the metaphorical bus.
“Thanks a lot, traitor!” Ace snaps back.
Vil’s eyes narrow. “You,” he hisses, voice dripping with venom, “have the audacity to ruin my shoot?”
By the time you arrive, the photographer is hiding behind a bush, and Ace and Deuce are sweating under Vil’s glare. The two freshmen look like they’re seconds away from turning into frogs—or corpses.
“Vil, sweetie,” you interrupt, stepping between them and the storm cloud forming above his head, “what’s going on?”
“These plebeians,” Vil says, gesturing at Ace and Deuce like they’re bacteria under a microscope, “thought it would be funny to sabotage my art!”
“They’re idiots,” you agree, shooting the freshmen a glare. “But let’s think about this. What if... this makes your shoot even better?”
Vil arches a perfectly sculpted brow. “Better?”
“Yeah!” you say, channeling all your persuasive powers. “When people see this, they’ll notice how your beauty shines even in the presence of—” you gesture vaguely at Ace and Deuce, “—mediocrity.”
“Mediocrity?” Ace repeats indignantly.
“Shut up,” you snap before turning back to Vil. “Think about it. They’ll see your grace, your poise, and how you completely outshine everyone around you. It’s contrast, Vil. Art loves contrast.”
Vil strokes his chin, considering. “You may have a point...”
“Totally! And, like, who would take them seriously anyway? Look at Deuce’s face. He looks like a confused pigeon.”
“Hey!” Deuce protests, but Ace is already nodding.
“Yeah, yeah! Vil, this just makes you look even cooler! Like, people will see this and be like, ‘Wow, he’s untouchable, even next to these losers.’”
Vil finally exhales, his wrath ebbing. “Very well,” he says, smoothing his silks. “I’ll allow it. But only because the juxtaposition highlights my perfection.”
Ace and Deuce sag in relief, clearly missing the word “juxtaposition.”
Later, Trey finds you in the hallway. “I heard what happened,” he says, looking both exasperated and grateful. “Thank you for stopping Vil from poisoning them. Again.”
You shrug. “All in a day’s work.”
Instance 2: Just Leona.
The group is gathered in the cafeteria, the usual buzz of conversation swirling around. Vil sits at the head of the table, eating his meticulously prepared salad—a work of art with perfect symmetry, vibrant greens, and an edible flower garnish.
Leona slouches in his chair nearby, tearing into a steak with all the grace of a feral lion. He pauses mid-bite, glances at Vil's plate, and snorts loud enough to turn heads.
"What's that, Schoenheit? Rabbit food?"
The air grows thick. Vil’s fork stops mid-air, his gaze snapping to Leona like a hawk spotting prey. "Excuse me?" he says, in that icy tone that sends chills down spines.
Leona smirks, undeterred. "You heard me. All those leaves and petals—looks like something I’d feed to the herbivores back home."
There’s a collective oh no from everyone nearby. Jack visibly stiffens, eyes darting between the two like he’s watching a live-action disaster. You’re pretty sure Grim just whispered, “This is gonna be good,” from somewhere behind you.
"It’s called maintaining one’s figure," Vil snaps, placing his fork down with calculated grace. “You wouldn’t understand, considering your diet seems to consist entirely of undercooked meat and mediocrity.”
Leona leans back, looking as smug as a cat in a sunbeam. “At least I eat like a king. Meanwhile, you’re over there grazing like the royal gardener.”
The tension escalates. Vil’s hand twitches toward his fork, and you’re suddenly very sure he’s planning to plant it somewhere deeply unfortunate on Leona.
Time to intervene.
“Vil,” you cut in smoothly, leaning closer to him, “can I just say, you look amazing today? Honestly, I don’t think anyone else could pull off a salad with such elegance.”
Vil blinks, momentarily startled, before his lips curve into a faintly smug smile. “Well,” he says, primly dabbing at his mouth with a napkin, “I do have a certain flair for refinement. It’s not something just anyone can achieve.”
“No, it’s not,” you say firmly, throwing Leona a warning glance. “And anyone who doesn’t see that is clearly just... jealous.”
Leona snorts again but doesn’t push further, clearly uninterested in escalating now that Vil’s focus is on being praised rather than plotting homicide.
Jack gives you a subtle, grateful nod, visibly relieved that he won’t have to referee another dorm-versus-dorm war.
As Vil returns to his salad with renewed dignity, you sit back with a sigh, silently adding prevented cafeteria murder to your list of daily accomplishments.
Instance 3: Theatre Club Madness
It starts, as all things do, with Floyd and his unique brand of chaos. This time, it’s a priceless antique vase from Pomefiore’s lounge that met its tragic end because Floyd “wanted to see if it could fly.”
Spoiler: it couldn’t.
Vil, who witnessed the entire ordeal, was seconds away from summoning a storm of consequences when Floyd, in a rare flash of survival instinct, promised to repay the debt.
“I’ll help with your little drama thing,” Floyd had said with a grin too wide to trust.
That promise didn’t even make it a full day.
By the time Azul appears in Ramshackle, wringing his hands, you already know something’s gone terribly wrong.
“Vil asked Floyd to star in some action scenes for his theater production,” Azul says, clearly on edge. “But Floyd... Well, he’s Floyd.”
You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Let me guess. He skipped?”
“Skipped, vanished, and laughed about it,” Azul confirms. “Vil is furious. I fear he might—”
“Poison the Lounge’s water?” you finish for him.
Azul nods gravely.
Which is how you find yourself in Pomefiore’s theater, holding a script titled The Tragic Tale of Honor and Glory and wearing an outfit that feels heavier than your life choices.
Vil sits in the audience, arms crossed, as you nervously adjust the overly ornate shoulder pads. “Darling, I adore you,” he says smoothly, “but if you ruin my vision, we will have words.”
“Right,” you mutter. “No pressure or anything.”
Rook, of course, is thrilled. “What a magnifique turn of events! A real-life romance brought to life on stage!” he says, twirling a prop sword before handing it to you.
You glance at the script and immediately regret every decision that’s led you here. Floyd’s role isn’t just action-heavy—it’s absurd. You’re supposed to fend off imaginary enemies, deliver heartfelt speeches, and somehow “leap gracefully” across a prop chasm.
“Are we sure this isn’t a punishment?” you whisper to Rook.
“Every great artist suffers for their craft!” he replies, as unhinged as ever.
Rehearsals are... an experience. Vil critiques your sword stance, your dramatic pauses, and even the way you hold the fake shield. “You’re not a barbarian,” he snaps at one point. “This is a knightly role. Show some dignity!”
The only thing keeping you sane is the occasional glimpse of Vil’s smile when you nail a scene. He’s still your Vil—meticulous, demanding, and, beneath it all, proud of you.
By the end of the day, you’re exhausted, but no one’s been poisoned, and Vil is satisfied.
“Darling,” he says as you collapse into a chair, “you might just be a natural.”
You groan in response, but secretly, you’re glad. If starring in a play keeps the peace and earns you a proud smile from your perfectionist boyfriend, it’s worth every ridiculous leap and over-the-top speech.
You're not letting Floyd off the hook though, he now owes you a blood debt.
Instance 4: Runway Disaster
It happens in slow motion. Kalim, with his usual sunshine energy, bounds over to greet Vil during a fitting for his latest custom runway outfit. In one hand, he holds a crystal goblet of bright red juice.
“Kalim, no—” Jamil tries to intervene, but he’s too late.
One excited gesture later, the goblet tilts. The juice spills. And Vil’s pristine white couture ensemble is suddenly dyed a tragic, splotchy crimson.
For a moment, the room is deathly silent. Kalim freezes, his smile faltering as Vil’s expression shifts from shock to something that resembles a villainous Disney queen summoning her final form.
“Oh no,” Jamil mutters, stepping back like a man who knows better than to get involved in an impending disaster.
Vil’s fingers twitch, and actual poison gas starts to swirl faintly around him.
“You…” he begins, voice deadly calm, eyes narrowed at Kalim, who looks like he’s considering whether running or apologizing is the better survival tactic.
Before Vil can unleash his fury (or toxins), you jump in, grabbing his arm like a brave but foolish hero.
“Wait! Think of the headlines,” you blurt. “The great Vil Schoenheit doesn’t panic when disaster strikes. He innovates. He adapts. He turns accidents into opportunities!”
Vil pauses, glancing at you with an arched brow. “Go on.”
“This isn’t a catastrophe—it’s a creative challenge,” you say, channeling your best salesperson energy. “You can redesign the outfit on the fly, show off your genius in real time, and prove why you’re the best.”
Jamil, who’s still lurking near the door, lets out a faint groan. “Don’t drag me into this—”
“Perfect!” you cut him off, pointing dramatically. “Jamil, help us. You’re good with details. Kalim, you’re... great at handing over fabric?”
“I am?” Kalim perks up, always happy to help, even when he’s the source of the problem.
Vil exhales sharply but lowers his hands, the faint poison clouds dissipating. He turns to you, his lips twitching upward in something resembling reluctant approval. “At least someone here recognizes talent when they see it.”
Half an hour later, Jamil is threading needles with the speed of a man who just wants this ordeal to end, Kalim is cheerfully sorting through fabric swatches, and Vil is in full designer mode, issuing commands and adjusting details.
You’re stuck holding a pin cushion and occasionally offering words of encouragement, but hey, no one’s been poisoned, and Vil’s outfit is somehow looking even better than before.
When it’s finished, Vil studies the revamped ensemble with a critical eye, then turns to you.
“Not bad,” he says, which, coming from Vil, is practically a standing ovation.
Kalim beams. “This was fun! Let’s spill juice more often!”
Jamil groans audibly, and Vil rolls his eyes, muttering something about how his brilliance is wasted on “uncultured chaos.” But when he glances at you, there’s a soft glimmer of gratitude.
Maybe you won’t have to stop a literal poison attack every day, but you’re definitely earning your stripes as the official Vil Schoenheit Disaster Manager™.
Instance 5: Epel, why?
Epel’s first mistake is thinking he can sneak a greasy burger into the Pomefiore lounge. His second mistake is sitting right in front of Vil to eat it.
The moment Vil spots the offensive food item, his entire posture stiffens. Slowly, he sets down the teacup he was holding, a faint air of menace radiating from him.
“Epel,” Vil says, voice dangerously calm, “are you seriously eating... that in my presence?”
Epel freezes mid-bite, the burger hovering inches from his mouth. “Uh, I mean... it’s just a quick snack—”
“It’s processed garbage,” Vil snaps, his tone sharp enough to cut diamonds. “Do you even know what’s in it? Chemicals, preservatives, and enough grease to clog your arteries by the time you’re twenty-five!”
You can almost see the poison aura starting to swirl, and your instincts kick in. There’s only one way to de-escalate this. Compliments. Lots of them.
“You know, Vil,” you interject brightly, sidling closer to him, “I’ve been meaning to tell you how absolutely flawless your skin looks today. Did you do something different? A new serum, maybe?”
Vil blinks, momentarily thrown off. “I did switch to a more concentrated vitamin C serum this morning.”
“Wow,” you gush, “it’s really working. You’re practically glowing! Honestly, you look like you just stepped off the cover of a magazine.”
Vil preens slightly, his focus shifting from Epel to himself. Epel catches your subtle hand signal—Run, you fool, run while you still can!—and starts to edge toward the door, burger clutched tightly in his hands.
Rook, who has been lurking silently nearby as usual, suddenly claps his hands together, eyes sparkling. “Ah, mon cher ami, how touching! Such devotion, such cleverness, to save our dear Epel from the wrath of Monsieur Vil! Truly, a love as radiant as the sun itself!”
Vil narrows his eyes at Rook, then at you, clearly aware of what you’ve just pulled. For a second, you think he might ignore your distraction entirely and summon some ancient Pomefiore curse to turn Epel into a cautionary tale.
But then he sighs and shakes his head. “You’re insufferable,” he mutters, though there’s a faint, reluctant smile on his lips.
Later, as Rook waxes poetic about your “unwavering dedication,” Vil leans in close and murmurs, “I hope you know that if it were anyone else, I wouldn’t have let this slide.”
“I know,” you say, grinning.
“And you owe me a handmade, organic, non-processed dinner tonight,” he adds, though his tone is more affectionate than demanding.
Fair enough. You’ve just saved Epel from doom and earned yourself a little more of Vil’s soft spot in the process. Not a bad trade-off.
Instance 6: Housewarden meeting
It all starts when Idia mutters the fatal words under his breath at the housewarden meeting.
“Skincare’s just a corporate scam for gullible people, anyway.”
The air goes still. A deathly quiet spreads across the room, save for the faint thump of a pen dropping somewhere in the background. You look up in horror, eyes darting to Vil, who has frozen mid-reading. Slowly, methodically, Vil sets the paper down with the poise of a storm brewing on the horizon.
“Excuse me?” Vil’s voice is icy, his gaze locking onto Idia with the precision of a predator that has just spotted its prey.
Idia, realizing his monumental mistake, turns pale. His flaming hair flickers nervously. “Uh—uh—wait, no, I didn’t mean—uh, you know, for other people, not you! Definitely not you, You’re obviously an exception—uh, outlier—uh—uhhhhh...”
You can see it in Vil’s eyes: hexes. Hexes upon hexes. Idia’s social credit is about to go into the negatives, and it’s up to you to stop this trainwreck before it derails completely.
“Vil, darling,” you say quickly, sliding up beside him and placing a calming hand on his arm, “why waste your brilliance on people who clearly don’t understand skincare? They’re the ones missing out. Why not show them how effective it really is instead?”
Vil’s brow raises, his attention turning to you. “Show them?”
You nod earnestly. “Absolutely. A real-world demonstration. I’ll be your model. You can prove to the entire campus how flawless your methods are by working your magic on me.”
Idia, still rooted to his chair, looks at you with wide, desperate eyes, mouthing, Thank you, oh my god.
Vil considers this for a moment, the dangerous glint in his eyes dimming slightly. “Hm. That does have potential. It’s true that nothing speaks louder than results...” He narrows his gaze at you. “But don’t think this will be easy. You’re going to follow my instructions exactly.”
“Of course,” you say, internally praying you don’t end up with a ten-step skincare routine involving rare herbs and unicorn tears.
Three hours later, you’re sitting in Vil’s dorm room with half your face slathered in a gold-infused sheet mask, while he critiques the lighting for your before-and-after photos. Idia has not only escaped with his life but is actively hiding in Ignihyde, no doubt sobbing into his console for letting this happen.
The next morning, Ortho drops off a neatly wrapped package with a note:
"Thank you for keeping Big Brother from turning into a toad. This is our thank you. Please use it wisely. - Ortho"
Inside is a supply of snacks that Vil would never allow, soda and a very generous gift card.
At least your skin has never looked better
Instance 7: Fashion Show Debate
It happens during the final stages of Vil’s meticulously planned fashion show rehearsal in Pomefiore’s grand hall. The decorators are frantically running around, while Vil oversees every detail with the precision of a hawk. It’s flawless—until Sebek’s voice booms through the air like a thunderclap.
“FASHION IS A POINTLESS PURSUIT WHEN COMPARED TO THE NOBLE ART OF SWORDSMANSHIP!”
Every head swivels toward Sebek, who stands tall, arms crossed, utterly convinced of his own wisdom. He continues, undeterred by the growing silence. “Who cares what you wear when you’re on the battlefield?! True strength lies not in silks and satins, but in the heart of a warrior!”
Vil freezes mid-step, his clipboard trembling in his hand. Slowly, he turns, and you swear you see the faintest shimmer of poison green pooling in his eyes. His glare could cut through steel.
“Excuse me?” Vil says, each syllable sharp and measured.
Sebek, being Sebek, barrels on, entirely oblivious to the danger he’s wading into. “Clothing is irrelevant when facing an opponent of true skill! A warrior’s resolve is their most valuable armor!”
Lilia, lounging nearby, starts wheezing with laughter, clearly finding the whole ordeal the height of entertainment. “Oh, this is delightful. Do go on, Sebek!”
You, however, sense disaster brewing. The tension in Vil’s jaw could snap diamonds, and Sebek’s volume seems to be increasing with every word. If this isn’t diffused soon, you’re going to witness Sebek walking the runway in a cursed tutu and heels.
Thinking quickly, you stride over to Sebek and place a firm hand over his mouth. “Sebek, remember the gargoyle incident?” you say in a low voice.
Sebek freezes, his face going pale. You lean in closer for effect.
“You know,” you continue casually, “the time you spent twenty minutes praising a gargoyle in the castle courtyard because you thought it was Malleus in the dark? Magnificent presence were your exact words, I believe?”
Sebek’s eyes widen in pure panic.
“When you finally realized your mistake,” you add, voice dripping with mock sympathy, “you begged me to swear on my life that I wouldn’t tell Malleus. Do you think he’d laugh? I think he’d laugh.”
Sebek emits a muffled noise beneath your hand, his entire posture deflating. He waves his arms frantically in surrender. You let go, and he turns stiffly to Vil, bowing his head. “My apologies. I spoke out of turn.”
Vil raises a perfectly arched eyebrow but seems satisfied with the reluctant apology. “As you should be. Now, be silent, or I’ll personally ensure you end in heels forever.”
Crisis averted, you glance at Lilia, who gives you an approving wink. Sebek, meanwhile, retreats to the shadows, muttering under his breath about unfair tactics and treacherous secrets.
As the models resume their walk, Vil brushes past you with a quiet, “Good work, darling. Though I’ll admit, I wouldn’t have minded seeing him in heels.”
It’s one of those rare, quiet evenings where the world outside seems to hum in stillness. You’re sprawled on the bed, scrolling aimlessly through your phone, savoring the precious downtime. The soft creak of the floorboards is your only warning before Vil’s hands are gently pulling you into his arms.
Startled, you set your phone aside and look up at him. “What’s up?”
Vil doesn’t answer immediately. He sits on the edge of the bed, arms encircling you as if shielding you from the entire universe. His expression is unusually soft, his gaze tracing over your features like he’s memorizing every detail.
“I’ve been thinking,” he says at last, his voice quieter than you’re used to. “You do so much for me. More than I deserve sometimes.”
You blink, caught off guard. “What are you talking about? You deserve the world, Vil.”
A faint smile tugs at his lips, but there’s something vulnerable in the way he looks away for a moment. “I know I’m... a little demanding.”
You snort, which earns you a mock glare. “Okay, fine, maybe a little more than a little." You laugh “But it’s not like I mind.”
“You should. Most people would,” he counters, but his tone is softer now, his hand brushing a strand of hair from your face. “You’ve been working so hard to keep up with me, to make me happy, even when I’m being a diva.”
That makes you laugh, and the sound seems to melt the last of his hesitation. You cup his cheek, thumb brushing lightly against his flawless skin. “Vil, it’s not hard work. It’s a labor of love.”
His eyes widen just a fraction, and then his smile blooms—gentle, radiant, and so genuinely Vil. He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. “You’re impossible,” he murmurs, but the affection in his voice betrays him.
“And yet you love me anyway,” you quip, grinning.
Vil huffs a laugh, his arms tightening around you as he pulls you into a proper embrace. “Hopelessly.”
You stay like that for a while, wrapped in the warmth of each other, the world outside forgotten. It’s just you and Vil, caught in a moment that feels like love personified—sweet, steady, and infinite.
(this is kinda a spiritual successor to the how to tame your dragon malleus fic)
Masterlist
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#vil schoenheit x reader#vil x reader#vil schoenheit x you#vil schoenheit#vil
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“The ribs are a bitch but the shoulder… You ever dislocate it before?”
“No.”
“How big is the dislocation?”
“How the fuck should I know?”
“It’s your fuckin’ shoulder, lollipop.”
“I don’t know. There’s a lump. A bulge? It’s small.”
"There's nothing small about me, baby."
“The field of vision in your damaged eye. Your sense of right and wrong. The likelihood that you’ll ever be released from your contract.”
“Jesus. You really go for the jugular, don’t you?”
A Particular Set of Skills Chp 16
#spideypool#fanfic#deadpool#wade wilson#peter parker#spider-man#a particular set of skills#aka the handler fic
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Being new to Gardenview
Aka "I had fun writing the long slender mansion posts that I wanted to do something similar with other fandoms
Note that requests are still limited to 3-4 characters max
Notes: reader is gn, toon reader, vague what the readers interests are unless implied otherwise for a character, you're freshly baked, pre game, no pebble or coal, you came around Christmas for the holiday toons anyone else can be any time of year, platonic for everyone since you're brand spanking new, long post, written on mobile, couldn't tag everyone but everyone is here minus pebble and coal
CWs: none
DANDY
He's probably the first one to greet you, honestly. He's like... THE toon. The show is named after him, he's the poster boy after all!
Surely he won't be at least a little annoyed that someone already beat him to the punch.... right...? Right??
He's a very busy toon, not only is he a main but he's also again, THE main. Getting to talk to him for more than a minute while there's visitors is nearly impossible... but he'll be sure to drop by your room for a hello once everything calms down for the day! ...maybe...
ASTRO
It's not that he's overstimated- mostly- it's just that he's tired by the time the day is over with... so it'll take him a while to approach you to welcome you... and he may seem out of it if you approach before he's ready
He's nice! A little accidentally... distant.. but he truly is happy to see a new toon added to gardenviews lineup. Who wouldn't be happy to have a new potential friend?
Ignore how he's seemingly nodding off where he stands... ts not that you're boring. He's simply a little sleepy...! You'll have to get used to that..!
VEE
Oh cool, a new toon. She's not going to be all over you but she's not going to ignore you if you come say hi. Small talk before she's swept away by the visitors.. or you're snatched away
If you seem like the smart type she might just invite you onto her show... she's not usually so quick to let someone on but what the hell! Who wouldn't want a new face to spice things up!
She is quick to set some boundaries up of you're pushing buttons or pose any risk to her techy bits
SHELLY
She doesn't let the fact you didn't notice her at first effect her... at least not outwardly. She's more forgiving in this instance anyways, you did just arrive afterall
Gives you a nice welcome- she's just happy to have someone new to talk to... if you ever want to have a nice camera hang out she's your girl to go to..! Just.. don't forget that she's just a call away..!
There's more time to talk to her during the day due to her being not as popular as the other Mains :( or even some of the non mains...
SPROUT
Oh heeeeeeeey you! He's probably already heard about you! If not from another toon than through one of the handlers!
He's not gonna be all over you but he's at least going to make you feel welcome enough- at least a normal amount of welcoming! He doesn't strike me as the type to be overly buddy buddy with a new toon just because they've just come out of.... wherever the toons are made...
He does seem to perk up a little if you express an interest in the ktichen... common ground can go far!
BOXTEN
It takes him a minute to approach you... he's gotta work himself up to it- he's not the boldest toon out there.. and he seems a little proud of himself that he didn't stumble over his words...! He will be overthinking his first impression later that night though...
The fact you're getting swarmed also puts him off a little... it's just so many people- it's overwhelming. Makes him wonder how he pulled through the initial hype when he was new.. silently sympathizes with you- tried to quietly give you reassurance from across the room but the voice in the back of his mind tries to tell him it looks like he's mocking you
He doesn't really talk.. not really a rambler either, especially with an acquaintance... but he does take note of any questions you have and tries to direct you to who could possibly help you once it becomes clear that he might not be the best fit
BRIGHTNEY
Her light burns a little brighter when she catches a glimpse of you... she didn't think she'd be seeing you so soon!
Wastes no time in walecoming you to gardenview, and hardly any time to bring up the boom club to see if you're interested... if you are, great! If not, that's okay!
If you ever need a hand to keep track of what you need to do and how things work around here she's more than happy to draw up a list for you and give you a hand where she can!
CONNIE
Oh she probably knows about you already... she's sneaky like that...! She's just trying to get a feel for your vibe before revealing herself. Totally. Definitely. Mhm!
She can't help herself- it's always so fun spooking new toons who don't know about her ability yet- she doesn't mean to be.. well, mean..! It's just funny!
She's got like... details on everyone! She's your gal to go for some gossip or to figure out what everyone else's deal with... though she may be biased against/for some toons so it's best to do your probing yourself to form your own opinions...
COSMO
He doesn't carry Boxtens shyness so he is more likely to approach you within a shorter time frame if you end up in the same area! He may trip over his words but that's just because he wants to make a good impression..!
If you ever need a little pick me up you can find him in the kitchen! Alongside Sprout and maybe Boxten-- and if it's the holidays ginger too...! It's a real nice place to hang out that's not too overstimulating-!
Similar to Boxten he will attempt to guide you to anyone who could help you with anything- except he's likely to physically bring you to someone or someone to you than simply... telling
FINN
Bold of you to assume he's not going to open up with a joke. "OH it's so nice to sea you," he'd wave but he wasn't sure if you'd he able to see him over the stream of visitors!
If you can bare through his constant puns he's actually not that bad. He's nice. Passionate about his interests- and of course he's going to be asking about yours!
Moderate popularity with the visitors so you can hang around and talk to him when you're not getting swarmed. He does share a good laugh about it with you- you'll get used to the attention... or find your footing once the hype dies
FLUTTER
Oh she's right by your side the second it looks like you need a breather from the swarm of visitors- you can come decompress with her until you need to get back out there..!
She's kind... a good listener. You're not sure how you can understand her when she's yet to speak a single word but you feel she's already been questioned about that a lot.. you don't want to possibly pester her with it
She lingers around you until closing to help you get through the day and the sea of visitors!
GIGI
She's friendly..! Really she is..! It's just that freshly baked toons can sometimes be fun to mess with... and she's taken a page out of Connie's book... she's not going to be a bully but she won't be able to help herself- telling you that you should totally do (x) which definitely won't make you look at least a little silly
You... might want to keep an eye on your belongings. She's usually not mean enough to nab someone else's things... maybe.. but by God the episode where she had to learn that lesson only slightly shook that habit
If you don't meet her through Connie, you'll be introduced to Connie through Gigi... as well as some other toons!
GLISTEN
Hes.. nice enough! Sure he may be... well himself.. but he's not going to ignore you if you approach him for help... though he is just a hint envious of the crowd you've made for yourself- but he's not going to fault you for it. Makes him miss the days where he was brand new and had all the attention
He's at least a little interested in finding out what your deal is... even if he's waiting to properly introduce himself- and he's definitely going to make a little show of it to make sure you don't forget his name!
Not intense.. but he does mellow out over the next few times you bump into each other once the desire to impress the newbie backs off a bit
GOOB
He's like an excited puppy when you meet each other! A new toon! Yay! A new friend, hopefully?
He's very physical- he doesn't mean to make you uncomfortable... if he is making you uneasy just say the word and he'll back off! He's not the best with subtle cues...
Oh oh oh you've gotta come with him to go meet his sister! Oh oh and you've gotta meet- you're going to meet so many toons through him...
LOOEY
Oh! New guy (/gender neutral)! He... actually doesn't lean into the clown act during an introduction. At least he doesn't rely on it- he definitely slips in a few jokes here and there if there's time but he's more focused on getting names exchanged and overall having a quick chat before he needs to go back to performing with the rest of his circus act
He's more than happy to let you come watch those acts! It'll give you a place to unwind after such a busy day! Or... if something calmer is more your style, he'll direct you to other toons
Generally a sweetheart- his cheerful demeanor comes in handy when meeting someone new- child and toon alike!
RAZZLE & DAZZLE
POPPY
Wastes zero time in introducing herself- even if you don't end up being friends in the future she's going to make sure you at least have fun on your first day
She introduces you to other toons as you come across them- she's real... bubbly. Pun only partly intended! She's going to make sure you meet just about everyone- or as many toons as possible!
And of course, she makes it clear that you're always welcome to come hang out with her and her group of gals- she'll make sure to put in a good word for you!
Similar reactions different energies! Razzle is more upbeat and open to talking. He tends to take the lead... not that he doesnt let dazzle speak of course. Dazzle also greets you! He's just lower energy
You're always welcome to their stage... or their room... if you express an interest in stories or books, Dazzle may tell you about Brightneys book club! Maybe he can help you get in... will be embarrassed if you tell him you already knew about the club
You do end up making a lot of friends through each of them- they both have their own groups of friends so double the introductions!
RODGER
A warm and polite welcome! He may ask a few questions... ice breakers mostly... and also because, well... you know...
You may or may not be spared from an interrogation- really it depends on how guarded you are with new people... and what all is going on at the moment- hes not the most popular toon but you're new... you're definitely going to be swarmed until the hype dies down
You... get the feeling it's going to be hard to keep secrets to yourself for long with him around... maybe... surely he'd respect boundaries and privacy (he does!) (At least he fully does when there's no mystery that may or may not put others in danger)
SHRIMPO
SCRAPS
She's not as... excitable or cheerful as her brother. She's definitely still cheery but she's more reserved about it. If you need a break from the visitors she can try to snag some away with the promise of arts and crafts so you're not all smothered
Arts and crafts is actually a gold way to open up to someone- a great ice breaker activity! So of course she's also going to invite you to come make something alongside her brother and toodles! It's a nice wind down activity after closing and before bedtime
Give her some time and she'll make you a welcome gift!
You hardly get a word in before he yells at you that he hates you already... you unfortunately don't know that that's his whole... thing.. so you don't know not to take it to heart or to not be confused
No like seriously what did you do you hardly introduced yourself- he cut you off after the first word... did you look at him wrong??
You quickly find out that he's just a hater, though... he's very open about his hatred for everything
TEAGAN
It doesn't take long at all for her to invite you to have some tea with her once the day calms down and all the visitors have left... it's all to get to know you better and make you feel more comfortable!
If you're comfortable with it, they will invite more toons... it'll give you a chance to get to know more of them! But if not... Teagans more than happy to just have it be the two of you
So so kind and patient with you as you get the hang of how everything works. If you ever need someone to talk to as you adjust to gardenview she's more than happy to let you vent to them
TOODLES
TISHA
It's not that she meant to ignore you... it's just that sometimes the visitors can be a little... messy... and it drives her nuts! But rest assured she will make it right once gardenview closes for the day and everything is cleaned up- and with Tishas speed and efficiency it won't take long after closing for her to stop by your new room!
Pleased that your room is- at least for now as you've yet to have a proper chance to make it a living space- neat and tidy... if you ever need a hand with things let her know... she'll at least let you know where the cleaning supplies are
You quickly pick up on a lot of tricks to get stains out and keep everything looking spick n span... Tisha is more than a little proud of herself that she's rubbed off on you
She's another easy one to get along with! There aren't many toons that Toodles outright dislikes or doesn't get along with
Talks... a lot... but that's to be expected from a kid.
You learn everything and nothing. The kid who's got dirt on everyone but doesn't have the mind to realize that it's dirt. Drops it randomly in conversation and moves on to something else like it was nothing... it's a little funny..
BOBETTE
Wastes no time at all in trying to become your friend- what's your favorite color? Music? When did you join Gardenview? What's your gimmick? She wants to know!
She's definitely gonna give you an extra gift this year for Christmas! Think of it as a "welcome to Gardenview!" Housewarming style gift! She WILL be watching you like a hawk to figure out what you like... as well as lightly interrogating everyone else for ideas
Genuinely so easy to befriend her. Not very judgy, very cheerful.. come decorate with her
GINGER
Oh... shy... she's shy... she doesn't avoid you but the first few conversations with you is... dry. Awkward. She really doesn't mean to make it that way it's just that she wasn't expecting to meet a new toon after being taken out of... where ever they keep the holiday toons
Not to mention you have a limited time to get her to warm up to you before having to put things on hold until next year... she really does try to befriend you or at least get to know you...!
Come join her with Cosmo and Sprout in the kitchen! You don't even have to bake..! You can help her decorate..! She becomes a ramblerer if you get her talking about an interest!
RUDIE
It's a Christmas miracle! A new toon has arrived! And he's definitely going to treat you like a gift... even if you were added to the toon roster before Christmas..
Not that he'd care all that much, a miracle is a miracle! And he's going to make sure you know his beliefs! Overall a joy to talk to even if he's caught up in the holidays
He is a little sad when he has to leave when the holidays end, but he promises he'll come talk to you the second he can again! He'll tell you all about what he did when he was away! Not much happens, but...!
#dandys world x reader#dandy's world x reader#dandys x reader#dandy's x reader#dandy x reader#astro x reader#sprout x reader#shelly x reader#looey x reader#vee x reader#rodger x reader#goob x reader#boxten x reader#bobette x reader#gigi x reader#brightney x reader#finn x reader#scraps x reader#x reader#canon x reader#canon x you#cosmo x reader#poppy x reader#tisha x reader#teagan x reader#flutter x reader#razzle x reader#dazzle x reader#razzle and dazzle x reader
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Dandys world hc becuz im too lazy to draw rn + haven't done these in a long time
- Astro has a tower stock of blankets, all of the same design but different fabric material. Don't ask him why, he just does
- Dandy is love starved as fuck after Gardenview's closure, he's used to getting all the attention and love so being revoked of all of it suddenly is not something he's used to and probably never will. It's why to me; he holds onto any sorts of friendliness and bonds from the other toons to keep himself sane
- Sprout can crochet, he learned it when his toon handler made his signature scarf. So whenever Sprout feels pretty nostalgic, he crochets. He doesn't really show his pieces to most toons though
- Boxten can straight up remove his key, specifically when he needs to sleep. He unintentionally scares his friends whenever he does this out in the open
- Finn sometimes rant about marine life, especially towards Shrimpo, idk why I just like to think Finn would rant about sea life at random ahh times
- I like the thought of the holiday toons being kept on the floor of their theme (aka; the christmas toons are sheltered on the christmas floor) rather then being in a dark basement or cell, not only do they have more room to run around but they feel at least more at home
- Looey is ace/aro to me and you can't change my fucking mind
- Toodles got her dog plush from Poppy
- Shelly has a lot of historical books in her room, from dinosaur to non-dinosaur related books and LOVES ranting about it to anyone who's willing to listen
- Connie likes eavesdropping on conversations, before and after gardenview's closure
- I like to think that toons would look up at the glass ceiling in the lobby a lot after gardenview's closure, specifically when it is morning
- Dandy still has all the gifts and letters he got from both his toon friends and the children, he wants to hold onto the happy memories

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