#airplane would approve

[qourmet]

Genuinely tho I Am sorry that my First moshang piece is a PWP 4 page comic

[thebiballerina]

Wait… you're telling me there were supposed to be RULES? To where DATES could happen? I… just always assumed dates happened when you asked someone out, and then did an activity with them. I understand restaurants and such are a popular choice, but… aren't you supposed to do things which are enjoyable to the people on the date? Why does anything else matter?

Unless you are actively and intentionally committing crimes on your dates, in which case proper forensic caution does matter. Remember, kids: Sex before marriage is cool. Arrest before marriage is for fools.

i know the 'is mcdonalds a date' questions making its rounds but i feel kind of insane bc thats never even been a metric for me. a date is just when someone says its a date. i went on a date w someone to smoke in a building w a caved in cieling in the rain, shoplifted from a gas station paranoid as hell to get them a soft pretzel and then we chased a rat around. where is your sense of adventure people

[sunderwight]

Cumplane where Airplane, in a fit of either bravery or insanity or positive or negative self-esteem (he's not totally sure) decides to cosplay as Luo Binghe and post the pictures online.

Of course, he doesn't do it as "Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky", he knows he has some questionable fans and doesn't really want to hand them a picture of his face. So he posts the images under one of the pseudonyms he uses for lurking around the comment section and social media tags. It's just a handful of images of him looking like the protagonist in his head, attempting to strike cool poses in a wig and some period clothes (he rented both).

The reception is... mixed. Airplane does not have abs, after all, nor a flawless complexion or much skill with makeup. He is fat, freckled, and awkward. The PIDW readership is not known for being particularly supportive either. In fact they're mostly a crab bucket of negativity and masculine posturing, so he gets a lot of mean-spirited commentary.

It's fine. Nothing he hadn't expected. Really solidifies for him that posting was a fit of madness, actually! What did he even expect? He's bracing himself for the worst when he sees that Peerless Cucumber, notorious hate-reader and defender of Luo Binghe's honor, has commented. Ah, shit. He's probably going to rip into Airplane for daring to sully his precious Binghe's reputation by dressing up like that, isn't he?

The comment is long, too. Fuck. Airplane's not sure if his self-esteem can take a comprehensive beating from the champion hater himself, but he's too curious not to look.

Shen Yuan, in the meanwhile, is just pleased that there has FINALLY been a Luo Binghe cosplayer who looks the part. Of course Luo Binghe wouldn't have exaggerated muscles, those are just a product of dehydration. Binghe spent most of his disciple years running around chopping wood and hauling laundry, and then later doing whatever he could to pack on the calories in order to make it through the Abyss. A hefty workman's build would only make sense for him, anything else would be nonsense. Airplane also described Luo Binghe as having a beautiful face, which Shen Yuan won't blame most cosplayers for not being able to just make happen, but a beautiful face doesn't mean "covered in so much makeup it looks like an anime character"! When would Luo Binghe have the time or inclination to put on makeup? A natural beauty with some inevitable blemishes would make more sense and be much more appealing, and this "Airplane Crashing to the Ground" (funny play on the author's name, Shen Yuan approves) has very pretty features! Everyone hating on this cosplay is just an idiot, the only actual problem is that his wig is poorly fitted.

So in true Peerless Cucumber fashion, he lays this all out.

This gets him embroiled in arguments with several other fans, who even accuse him of actually being the guy in the photos, claiming that there's no other reason why he would defend them. Shen Yuan doesn't care if people think that's him, because that's still the best Luo Binghe cosplay he's ever seen, but he doesn't want them doubting the sincerity of his arguments. So, he decides that the only reasonable thing to do is dress himself up in cosplay as well and then post the actual photos of himself.

While he'd like to dress up as one of Luo Binghe's allies like Mobei Jun, or maybe someone cool like Yue Qingyuan, he is too pedantic to think he could pull that off. Those guys are all strong warrior types, and Shen Yuan is a scrawny pale rich kid who looks like he'd probably lose a fight with a wet paper towel. The only characters he could plausibly pull off would be some of the more consumptive members of Binghe's harem and maybe, maybe, one of the weaker villains like Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Yuan is NOT posting pictures of himself crossplaying to the central nexus of toxic masculinity itself, so... Shen Qingqiu it is!

Poor Airplane has to go sit and stare at a while for a while. Peerless Cucumber likes his cosplay. Peerless Cucumber, ardent defender of Shang Qinghua's sellout crappy main character mary-sue, thinks Airplane is good-looking enough to cosplay as him. And said so. Repeatedly. And then posted borderline thirst-trap villain cosplay of himself, inadvertently revealing in the process that he is hot.

What the. What. What?!

Anyway, Shen Yuan suggests that they attend the next convention both cosplaying together because Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky is supposed to be doing a meet & greet at that one, and wouldn't it be fun to go as a pair? And Airplane agrees before his brain catches up and he realizes that might present a problem.

[youunravelme]

reunited

author's note: just a little drabble to make up for my absence. this takes place in the nothing happened in the way i wanted verse about six months after reader and matt get back together (aka stanley cup finals).

summary: you told matt you couldn't make it to the stanley cup finals...and yet here you are

pairing: matthew tkachuk x reader

warnings: cursing? pda?

you heard the disappointment in matt’s voice when you told him you couldn't make it to his playoff games. you'd managed to come to a game vs. the rangers, but when the panthers made it to the finals, it was clear that your schedule might not even allow you a week off. but when you looked at the calendar and saw you had an opening before you summer internship, you immediately booked a flight to miami.

everything was set.

until two days before game seven, the flight was canceled.

“matt, i’m so sorry—”

“baby, it’s fine. you can’t control it.”

“i’m trying to look for flights but they're all full.” you could hear the way he tried to stifle his sigh. but you knew him like the back of your hand, you knew how much this meant to him, how close he came last year. and you wanted to be there. you knew he wanted you to be there.

which is why you took your airplane refund (and a little out of savings) and starting looking at rental cars.

in hindsight, making an eighteen hour trip alone was not the smartest decision you ever made, and it surely wasn't a choice matt would approve of if he knew about it. but maybe he'd be so caught up in the post game that he wouldn't ask how you got there.

when you got into the city, taryn was the one who met you at their hotel. she smiled and gave you a tight hug.

“how was the drive? not too bad i hope?”

you gave her a sheepish smile. “i might need another five hour energy.”

she bumped her shoulder with yours. “i’m sure the game will be hyped enough to wake you up.”

“thank you for waiting for me.”

taryn’s laugh was immediately swallowed up by the sounds of traffic, but you felt it just the same. “matt would kill us if we left you to walk to the arena alone.”

“he doesn't know i’m here, does he?”

she shook her head. “we haven’t said a word. but please believe he's done nothing but mope about it.”

you rolled your eyes. “he doesn’t have time to mope, not when winning the cup is so close.”

and it was.

you couldn't remember a time where you'd screamed as loud as you had. your blood was pumping, heart pounding, you were torn between squeezing your eyes shut from anxiety and keeping them focused on the game. maybe after the game, you'd apologize to taryn for holding her arm so tightly, but she was squeezing yours back just as hard.

you watched as they kept the puck in the corner as the clock ran down. the nail polish you'd painted on your fingernails were in fragmented chips on the floor. your eyes kept darting from the jumbotron to the ice, back and forth back and forth.

but the buzzer went off and your boyfriend hopped onto the ice with his teammates. taryn was pulling you into a threeway hug with brady. before you knew it, you were being shuffled out of your seats, down the stairs, and onto the ice.

you were operating on autopilot, sticking close to taryn and brady. you were in the back, behind his parents and siblings, not really focusing on where you were going, only knowing that taryn’s grip was on your wrist.

people bumped into you, cameras were everywhere, yet your gaze was solely on taryn’s red leather jacket. maybe you should've dressed differently, worn something fancier instead of a jersey and jeans. it was game 7 and your boyfriend just won the stanley cup and you probably looked exhausted and there were going to be pictures that would probably live on the wall of matt’s childhood home for the rest of time.

taryn and brady stopped walking which could only mean that they'd found matt. if you could see over brady´s broad shoulders, you might have been able to see the embrace matt gave his mom, then the massive hug he gave his father. you couldn't hear what was being said, but you a glimpse of a red sleeve hug taryn before brady was next.

matt’s arms went around brady’s shoulders, his head peeking over, when the two of you made eye contact for the first time in weeks. his blue eyes widened in shock before he physically shoved brady off of him and out of the way.

“no way!” matt said over the noise before you were being yanked into his arms, lips pressed against his. it was clumsy and mostly teeth, but who could blame either of you? he’d just won the stanley cup.

you pulled away first with matt still chasing your lips until you placed a hand on his chest. “congrats, baby.”

“what're you doing here? i thought you said you couldn't make it! how’d you even get here?”

you smiled sheepishly. “i drove.”

matt’s smile dropped for a moment as he rolled his eyes. he placed a kiss on your forehead and brought you into your chest. “you're an idiot, but i love you.”

“i love you, stanley cup champion.”

he preened for a moment until he realized you'd successfully navigated the conversation back from yourself. “don’t think we won't talk about that later, baby.”

as the celebrations continued, regardless of who came up to him, matt’s hands never left your body. maybe it was the high of winning or maybe it was because you hadn't seen him since game five against the rangers but he wouldn't let you out of his sight. you tried to sneak away to stand with his family while he was being interviewed, but he never let you get far enough. at one point, you were standing just far enough to be out of shot of the camera, but close enough to where he was somewhat paying attention to the reporter interviewing him. 

“you sure you don't wanna come with me?” he asked after the last interview.

“matt, i promise she does not wanna go into a locker room with you and your sweaty teammates,” taryn chirped. “i’m sure you can survive without seeing her for a little bit.”

he didn’t look convinced.

“whenever you're finished, i’ll be ready to do whatever you want. i’m here for a week.”

his eyes lit up right before he kissed you again. “fuck yes.”

you laughed and pushed him away. “go celebrate with your teammates, we’ll be ready when you are.”

he glanced over his shoulder at his teammates and then back at you. “i love you.” he started moving backwards but kept his eyes trained solely on you, not a care in the world as to who he was bumping into. “and don't think i’m not gonna say something about you driving eighteen and a half hours.”

he knew the time it took?

“how’d you know how long i drove?”

a familiar smirk graced his lips. “baby, i always know how far you are from me.”

“you’re both sickening,” taryn joked as matt disappeared down the tunnel.

“maybe, but i love him.”

[lilacgaby]

a day in the life with your baby and gojoo

satoru woke up to his daughter tugging on the edge of his shirt. he was laid next to you, you in his arms passed out from the headache that was a toddler, so he slowly crept out of bed to go with her.

they thought they were being sneaky, but the constant shush sounds she made and their loud giggles woke you up right away. you stayed put for a second, but jumped out suddenly, scaring them.

after laughing at their horrified faces and the fact that satoru got into a fighting pose, you all decided on chocolate pancakes for the morning. satoru fed her like an airplane and she would try and do the same back to him, but he was too tall. he bent down to an uncomfortable height just so she could do it back to him (he was sure his back would hurt later).

after eating, your daughter begged and begged to go to the park. you didn't want to, but satoru spoiled her rotten, so he started to beg you too. now you had two losers pulling on you to go out the door. you finally relented, throwing on some going out clothes and shoes, as you walked to the park.

they fought on who would hold your hand until you just grabbed both their hands at once, silencing them. they were calm.. until they made it to the park at least.

there, the two went rabid. you pretended like you didn't know either of them as satoru ran through the slides and top of the park, as he swung to crazy heights and jumped, falling onto his stomach making your daughter burst into giggles. they camped at the top of the playground, eating snacks that they had sneaked when you weren't watching. satoru even letting her have a bit of candy, which you wouldn't approve of before dinner.

you were having fun just watching, until the two walked up with mischievous looks in their eyes. you were about to question them, as satoru suddenly picked you up, with your daughter cheering him on. he put you on his lap as you slid down the slide, your daughter crashing into you from behind.

you glared at them jokingly, before it was time for you to head back home. as you cooked dinner, your daughter's eyes started to droop closed. satoru carried her to bed, it was already eight? he read her a book as she smiled, holding his hand as she drifted off to bed.

satoru and you ate in the living room, cuddled close as you pigged out, exhausted by the day you had.

you were ready to go to bed when you felt satoru lay his head on your shoulder. he was passed out too. you sighed and shut off the tv, falling asleep next to him.

when you woke up, your daughter was sandwiched between the two of you, fast asleep. you smiled as your heart felt warm from the love you had for your two idiots.

[bogleech]

TOP TEN DINOSAURUSES

maybe you're wondering my most tenned favorite dinosauruses??? The science study of dinasacacers is called "dinosaurusology" by leading experts like myself, and it is constantly changing as we make new uncoveries almost every tuesday when we find new bones in my cousin rob's garage (he hasn't thrown anything out since the 90's!) As such bear in mind that up to two facts I am about to share could become dated over the course of the next century, however as both the king and queen of science this will only be true if I'm still available to approve the new facts. If I'm dead or kind of tired then nobody will ever know what's true anymore so you should be nice to me. #10: OVIRAPTOR

OVIRAPTOR was a good model for what all dinosacans were like: it was a wrinkly lizard that slithered in filthy dirt and had difficulty standing upright because its bones were made of rocks. This is why we have the term "the stone age," so be grateful you're living in "the bone age!" Oviraptor's name means "eggs velociraptor" because it was a kind of velociraptor that stole eggs. It didn't know what to do with them because nobody invented cooking yet and raw dinosaur eggs were disgusting, so every oviraptor starved to death.

#9: IGUANADON

This was the last known photograph of IGUANA DON (not to be confused with his cousin iguana dan) when george washington invented photographs 2 million years ago. Don was an ugly disgusting hilarious lizard monster with one horn on its nose and he died because he evolved a dining room in his torso exactly the right size for 21 cavemen to walk in and eat his kidneys. This was not helped by don's instinct to sleep on a big porch under a chandelier.

#9 DIMETRODON

DIMETRODON was the most common dinosaur of jurassic, which was the fifth and final era of dinosaurs after the ice age but before the ediacaran. In fact dimetrodon was the very last dinosaur to ever exist on earth before they were all eaten to death by the ediacaran's dominant predator: a species of swirly looking weird rock. Nobody knows why these swirly looking weird rocks died out, but it's most likely because dimetrodon was so poisonous from its diet of entirely pufferfish. You can tell it was a sea dinosaur because of its fish fin! #8: PTERADACTYL

PTERODACTYL was a regular dinosaur until it got married to a species of bat and its bat wife laid a bunch of pterodactyl eggs! This woodcut is however inaccurate: flying would not be invented until president obama discovered the first airplane in 1998, so pterodactyl couldn't possibly have stayed in the air and just immediately fell. The long 900 million year reign of the pterodactyl abruptly ended when the last one finally hit the ground (it took longer in those days because the oxygen disaster made so much more air) #7 SNORKASAURUS

SNORKASAURUS was completely unique among all dinocaurs by having a really long neck. It was one of the largest creatures to ever roam the earth at over 7 feet tall, or exactly 12 meters to those of you living in Liberia or Myanmar! This is the last known photograph of snorkasaurus, giving birth to the first cavemen. Snorkasaurus went extinct because all of them did this instead of making baby snorkasauruses. This is because like all dinosaurii they had only a tiny peanut for a brain, and nobody was around to give them 'the talk' because that wasn't invented yet.

#6 SMILODON

SMILODON was a very special dinosaurn because it was the first one to stand up on its hind legs after years of rigorous exercise and weight training. By inventing this new way of walking, Smilodon made it possible for the first monkeys to evolve! This is called "convergent" evolution.

#5 BULBASAUR

BULBASAUR was a majestic and beautiful species of neopet unfortunately disliked by the scientific community because it is the reason there are no flying dinosuars. Bulbasaur was the first ever flying dyanasar ever invented, 19 billion years ago on September 10, 2001, but the project was discontinued when its first test flight ended in a tragic accident. That's right: on September 11, 2001, Bulbasaur crashed into the stock market, causing the great depression that lead to the civil war :'( now to this very day, flying dinosarers are against the law.

#4 YOSHI

YOSHI is a type of dinersaulophus called a "bird," which was actually the second attempt by early neanderthal alchemists to manufacture a street legal flying dinnersauran, but the New Zealand government realized if dinophlofbuses can fly, then bats would no longer be special, and since bats are New Zealand's only major export it would have been an economic disaster. The queen of Australia (New Zealand's largest city) ordered the CIA to sand all of the wings off of these early prototype birds. Every bird tragically went extinct when it looked down, noticed how high up it was and remembered it could not fly, activating the effects of Earth's gravitational field.

#3 ANOMALOCARIS

ANOMALOCARIS was the dinosorcerous that discovered the first primitive cave painting of a modern day crab and invented carcinisation. All the other dinanders laughed at Anomalocaris for wanting to turn into a crab, but guess what??? Every single kind of dinosaur is dead but there's a crab still alive at 29, making it the oldest person in the world. Who's FUCKING laughing now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#2 EARL SINCLAIR

This is the last known photograph of Earl Sinclair, seen here as an uncredited extra in "Avatar 3: Lost in New York." Earl Sinclair was a sindonaur species that could disguise itself as a human by putting on sunglasses, a necessary adaptation in order to hide from the largest predator dancasore to ever live: Mellisuga helenae. However, near the end of the coal age, M. Helenae finally remembered that sunglasses hadn't even been invented yet. Look carefully, and you'll notice nobody is wearing sunglasses at all in this scene, making Earl Sinclair stick out like a sore thumb! If you're still having difficulty, here's a zoomed in image of this majestic thunder lizard:

Unfortunately......this wardrobe malfunction made Mr. Sinclair just as obvious to his ancient enemy, and the last Earl Sinclair's brains were sucked out on September 11, 2001, the darkest day in British history because he was the only one who knew the recipe to chicken mcnuggets (the only british food.) To this day all british people are extinct but you can still see their fossilized skeletons waiting in line at the department of motor vehicles.

#1 CONCAVENATOR

Concavenator was an Early Cretaceous carcharodontosaurid up to six meters in length with an unusual pointed crest on its back.

[azu1as]

once again thinking about sqq unintenionally becoming a harem master in the eyes of can qiong and civilians.

it starts off with him saving one of binghe's future wives because ! she was one of the more interesting wives !! with powers that ariplane retconned in later chapters for no reason !!!!!!

"What a sweet girl," Shen Qingqiu murmurs as he opened the thank you package delivered to him because she wanted to thank the immortal master for saving her from a beast that in PIDW had traumatized her into becoming a recluse.

Shen Qingqiu hums as he touches the new hand-painted fan. Sweat begins beading on his neck at the murderous glare his white lotus Binghe was directing at the object in his hands.

This master is sorry, Binghe, but this fan is too precious to throw!

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat, "It would be good if she sends more gifts," to her future husband Binghe, of course.

That way, his sweet bun realizes that this was nothing more but a gift to her father-in-law. Aiya, why is the glare even worse?

a week later, sqq saves another wife by complete coincidence on a trip down to the village. she insists on joining him back to cang qiong and sqq gives in because of how persistent she was.

binghe breaks the plate of snacks he was holding when he bumps into them.

sqq: oh shit binghe's jealous. quick gotta send her his way and make them spend more time together

and then the lady just asks him about sqq and whether he's married single looking for someone.

and it keeps happening. sqq isn't sure either why he's meeting all these future wives. maybe the system wanted him to give his future approval? the system was being a bitch and seemed to enjoy his confusion over the way events had been continuously unfolding.

but then one of binghe's sly wives—a scammer who airplane contradictorily describes as pure-hearted at her core—comes up to him one day and tells him, "I have your baby."

And she shamelessly does it in front of the whole cang qiong delegation.

Shen Qingqiu doesn't know where or who the shrill keening sound was coming from.

[thesadisticsiren]

I need more content of Shen Qingqiu and Mobei Jun becoming ... not QUITE friends, but once Mobei Jun understands that Shen Qingqiu is NOT flirting with his husband I think they could vibe?

Them just sitting in a room quietly for an hour because binghe had some demon clan to deal with so shen qingqiu was gonna visit airplane bro but hes caught up with finalizing some trade agreement documents. Neither says more than 5 words total the whole time and both would consider it a pleasant interaction.

They could bond over having a scarily competent spouse who can burst into tears on command. And Binghe could approve of this 'friendship' because mobei clearly isn't going to attempt to steal shizun because he's got his OWN peaklord he's in love with. Idk what Shang Qinghua would get out of this but like I think he'd approve.

Also I'm just saying sqh and lbh have a type as well, and it's ice faced beautiful men who internally love so much they don't know how to express it

Do you see my vision.

[ramp-it-up]

Best of All

Pairing: Pilot!Steve Rogers x Publicist! Reader

Word count: 3.3 K

Summary: You and Steve FINALLY make it to your suite. And the results are sweet.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY Minors, DNI. Former Enemies to Lovers, and there was only one bed, 20 yr angst, sexual frustration, A yacht, swimming,Steve sketching reader, dry humping, fingering, size kink, personal lubricant, woman on top/ in control, Captain/Sir kink, praise/degradation kink, dirty talk, sloppy oral (m/f receiving), raw p in v, breeding/lactation kink, creampie. Basically porn with plot. Not Beta’d. All errors are on me.

This is the next part in the Greatest series.

A/N: It has been just a little over exactly a year since I've written these two. Please forgive my ain't-shitness. And thank you for rocking with me. I love you all!

I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

-----

You were relaxing on the bow of the yacht, staring out over an amazing view.

You’d had a delicious brunch with Aperol spritzes, and as the yacht floated on the beautiful Gulf of Genoa, the only sounds you heard were of the water, John Coltraine, and the scratching of Steve’s pencil against the paper of his sketch pad. 

He had been wonderful, and contemplative, company for you. 

Your time was spent journaling and looking at the water and the cliffs, rotating your lounger with the sun. You even dozed for a few minutes, waking up to find Steve looking at you piercingly as he sketched. 

Your sister was right.

Steve was very much into you.

You could get used to this you thought as you got up and walked over to Steve, who looked up at you and smiled.

“Can I see what you’re sketching?”

Steve blushed, and then moved so that you could sit down beside him.

“Sure.”

He put his pencils down and handed his leather bound sketch book to you. You gasped.

“Steve! These are…”

You flipped the pages, looking to him for approval. He nodded and smiled at you.

There were many images, on the boat, some very detailed from the day, some rough sketches, but they were all clearly you. You turned to one drawing of you naked, and it made you feel some kind of way.

You’d never posed that way for him.

“Drew that one from memory. Last night.”

“You make me look so…”

“Beautiful? Then that just means I’m drawing you accurately.”

“You really see me this way?”

You were gazing at the sketches with wonder.

“I can’t believe that you don’t. Y/N. You are one of the most beautiful, most desirable women I’ve ever seen. People talk about Aria, but she looks just like you.”

You turned and put the sketch book down on the table beside Steve’s lounger.

“Can I have a kiss?”

Steve’s eyes lit up.

“You can have anything you want.” 

“I want you…”

Steve groaned as you climbed up on his lap and grabbed his face. You traced his lips with your fingers before he closed the distance between you and captured yours with his own. You were breathless before he pulled back and rested his forehead on yours.

“That was… nice.”

Steve shifted, sending his crotch grinding into yours and relishing the way you shivered in his arms.

“You want me?”

Steve looked back up at you. Hopeful.

“Yes. And I want to try. A relationship? Dating once we get back to the states? It will be hard. I travel a lot with what I do, go from coast to coast, and all over the world with Aria.”

You were nervously speaking in questions.

“Hmmm. Wonder how I could get from coast to coast, and all over the world? Oh right, I have two airplanes and I’m a pilot.”

Steve smirked at you as you smacked him on the arm.

“I just don’t want you to feel as if you have to chase after me. Or wait for me to get back when I need to go. Long distance can be hard.”

Steve nodded, and then gave you a quick peck on your lips.

“I know. But I would follow you to the ends of the earth. And I’ve already waited for 20 years. What’s a little longer?”

“How can you be so damn perfect?”

You attacked him, kissing him again as he laughed and grabbed you, holding you close.

“Not perfect, maybe just perfect for you?”

“Maybe,” you smiled into his shirt as you traced a vein down his arm. 

“But I want a do over.”

“A do over of what?”

“Of our first date.”

“Tonight?”

“Yes, tonight. But first, I wonder if you will give me some? Please? Pretty please Steve?”

You reached down and grasped his hardness in your hand; Steve moaned.

Steve’s mouth was open as you begged for him.

“Oh Baby, you have no idea how much I want that.”

You whined as you moved your hips to feel more of him.

“Steve… need you…”

Your sultry whisper in his ear made him weak.

“Me too. I just … I want it to be special… to take our time…”

“I need you inside me, Captain.”

“Fuuuuuck.…I want that too, Doll. So bad… I dreamt of it last night.”

Steve moved so that his mouth was on your neck.

“You taste like coconuts right now. Why is that?”

“Hmmmm. Flavored body oil spray. It’s edible.”

“Well then, I need to taste more…later. “

You writhed against him hoping for some relief.

“So desperate. I love it when you get needy for me, Baby.”

Steve took in your face and your lips opened in desire. He grabbed the back of your neck, wrapping his hand around your face and inserted his thumb into your mouth. You sucked at it greedily which made him groan again.

“Is that what you want?”

You moaned around his digit and nodded, your heart about to beat out of your chest. Steve leaned down to whisper in your ear as he shoved his thumb further past your tongue and held your mouth open.

“I loved the way you took it in your mouth yesterday. Such a good, good throat. Such a good, sweet girl for me.”

His hand was now at the crotch of your bathing suit and your eyes rolled back into your head at his filthy words as he gagged you with his digit. His long fingers on his other hand pulled the suit to the side and slowly inserted two inside you.

“I can barely get in here, Sweetheart. You’re gonna struggle to take me …”

You grunted, both at what he was doing to you and at what he was saying.

“Yes… you’ll have to be patient just a little while longer. Tonight…”

His wet thumb was caressing your nipples over your bathing suit now. You were frustrated.

“You’re all talk.”

“And you’ll do whatever I say. Later.”

Steve’s words and his steely eyed stare were speaking straight to your pussy. You clenched down on his fingers and he moaned.

“So fucking right. Patience, Doll. Just a little while longer. Meanwhile, you and I need to cool down.” 

Steve abandoned you to take off his shirt, laughing at your lust before he reached down to gather you in his arms again while approaching the passerelle.

“Can you get your hair wet?”

“Yes, I planned on swimming, but are you really about to throw me in the water right now?”

“No. “

Steve shook his head as he stopped on the edge.

“Good.” 

You smiled as you took in the view.

“I figure we’d take the plunge together.”

And then he backed up and ran toward the edge, you squealing in his arms, the warm mediterranean water separating you when you hit the surface. Soon you felt his arms slip back around you as you found each other again and kissed in the warm Italian sun. 

You wanted this moment to last forever.

—-

You made it through the 6 hour voyage and back to the hotel to change for dinner. The meal was nice, with great wine and even better conversation. 

After the meal, Steve asked a question as you walked to the elevators.

“Does that invitation to your suite still stand?”

You pressed your back into the elevator wall as Steve pressed the button for your floor before you even answered his question.

This cocky bastard. It was so hot.

“Sure, are we gonna have a pillow fight?” You raised your arms to his board shoulders as he leaned down to your ear.

“Did you say pillow bite?”

You cocked your head at him, smirking.

“So it’s like that?”

“Very much so.”

You kissed him as the doors opened onto your floor. Steve kept his hands on you as you opened your door and immediately had you up against the first available surface once the door closed hands and mouth everywhere he could reach.

After you two almost broke what looked to be a very expensive vase, Steve stepped back from you, lips swollen from your kisses and chest heaving.

“D’you want me as much as I want you?”

You realized now that the look on Steve’s face that you’d once interpreted to be irritation with you or annoyance, was in fact concentration. You pondered the meaning of being the center of his attention as you moved toward him.

“Do you not remember the way I took your cock down my throat the other day?”

You pressed your body against his and Steve swore, growling in your ear. 

“Oh yes. That was truly.” He kissed your neck.

“Truly.”

This time the kiss was on the plane of your chin.

“Truly amazing.”

He kissed your lips softly when you decided you were tired of playing around. You grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the bedroom.

—-

Soon, you were both naked in the bedroom, a bottle of Prosecco rescued from the honor bar and opened on the dresser. Your eyes were drawn to Steve Rogers, who was as beautiful as one of the statues in the Galleria Borghese. 

Steve was grasping his cock at the base as his eyes swept over your body. He was remembering the taste of you.

“You are so beautiful.”  

He squeezed himself harder and tried to keep from moving his hand up and down his thick shaft as you stared and licked your lips.

“Come over here, Stevie. Please.”

You lay on the bed on your stomach, showcasing your ass and looking at him invitingly. Stave moved closer, but stopped.

“What if I told you that I wasn’t going to fuck you tonight?”

You began to pout.

“Fix that face.”

That command made you whimper at the power in his voice.

“You are going to fuck me, Doll.”

“What?”

Steve reached for your hand as he switched places with you. Then he lay there and resumed stroking himself. You licked your lips at the sight and retrieved the bottle of Prosecco, suddenly very thirsty.

You contemplated the power he was giving you, and decided you liked this rush of control. 

“I like the idea of that, Steve. I’ll get to express exactly how much I want you.”

You took a swig and leaned down to kiss him, giving him a taste from your lips. He licked your mouth as you thumbed his nipples, causing him to shiver from your cold touch. You couldn’t resist tasting his cherry red lips again and again as you lightly squeezed his throat, then ran your hand down his sternum and his abs to the tip of his wet cock. 

You grazed the length of him down to his balls, then looked into his eyes and kissed his lips as you took control of him.

“Your lips are perfect,” you whispered as you caressed him.

“No. yours,” replied Steve as he sought your mouth again. 

“You like my mouth?”

As you leaned to teasingly kiss the thick cap of his cock, then took him fully down your throat 

“Oh.. Shit…”

Steve massaged your scalp as you bobbed on him

“You are so fucking hot, Doll…”

You looked up with a smile and moved to lick his nipple, then kiss him again as you stroked him. Steve was mesmerized. Your hands, your lips, your tongue, he couldn’t concentrate on any one part of you that was ruining him. 

It was sensation overload, and he needed to focus to not shoot off.

You were drunk on power. You spit on his cock, deep-throated him once, twice more, and then pulled away, causing Steve to groan as you withdrew contact, your sloppy blow job scrambling his brain.  His head was on a swivel as he watched you get up to go to the dresser. 

“May I?”

Steve nodded, eager for what was to come. You had a small spray bottle in your hand, and when the liquid made contact with his body, he jumped from the sensation. You rubbed the oil on his cock and up his body to his nipples, basking in the rapt attention he paid you as you sprayed yourself between your breasts. Steve’s cock got impossibly harder in your hand at the sight. 

“I think I’m gonna like this.

You loved to hear his sexy deep voice break.

“You like me?”

“Yeah. I…”

Steve trailed off as your hands roamed his body.

“I like you too, Stevie,” you kissed him again. ”

Steve actually whimpered as you swung your leg over his hips and sat down on his cock, rubbing your pussy along his shaft as it lay against his stomach. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw to keep from manhandling you.

“I wanna try that sweet cunt.”

“Hmmm. Is it sweet? Wanna taste it again?”

You leaned back and circled your clit with two fingers, then inserted them into his pretty mouth. Steve’s adam's apple bobbed as he sucked your fingers and swallowed your taste. You pulled away to suck his cock again until he was moaning, at which point you kissed and licked your way up his body, settling your thighs at his shoulders. 

He gripped your ass as he turned hushed head so that his lips could kiss your thigh. His fingers reached around your leg to play in your crease as he gave your clit kitten licks and kisses. You tried to move back down, but he grasped your thighs hard enough to leave bruises that would give you daydreams the next day. He started sucking your clit so intently that you began seeing stars.

“Wanna fuck you now, Stevie. Wanna cum on your cock”

You were on the edge as Steve pulled off of your clit with an obscene slurp.

“I’m yours, Y/N.”

You reached back and grabbed his throbbing cock as you scooted your pelvis down, one hand on his neck and one hand positioning him to enter you. His shaft was large, but the head was even wider, and the stretch as you worked yourself open on him made you moan loudly. Steve grabbed your chin to make you look at him while you slid down his length, stretching yourself out so incredibly well.

“My cock looks so big against your tiny pussy.”

His eyes were riveted.

“It is big, Captain. You’re so huge.”

You grabbed the headboard while you adjusted to his size. Steve’s hands came up around your waist and held you steady as you trembled around him.

Those blue eyes looked up at you with adoration.

“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Are you okay, Doll?”

“It feels amazing,” you stared down into his eyes and smiled, your slick leaking down his thick shaft to collect and drip off his balls.

“Yes. Yes it does. Holy mother god.”

 He looked down to where you were connected.

“You’re wrapped around me so tight and so good, Doll.”

Steve looked up at you and licked his lips, pupils blown wide and struck dumb by lust. 

You leaned down and kissed him when you bottomed out on him.

You stared at each other as you both finally got what you wanted. You took his head in your hands and kissed him as you pounded together. 

Then you started moving. 

Steve played with your nipples and you arched backwards as he planted his feet and pistoned up into you faster.

“Oh! Steve. Feel so full. So good.”

Steve wrapped his arms around your waist and held you in place as his hips moved at the devil's pace. The sound of his dick breaching your wet pussy and skin slapping on skin was everything. His thumb went to your clit and traced figure eights as you shuddered in his grip. 

“F-f-f- u-u-u-ck! I’m- I’m coming!”

“Give it to me!”

He stroked you through your orgasm and then sat up, manipulating you so that you were sitting back on your arms in his lap as he moved you up and down his cock like a sex toy.

“Shit, you feel so good!”

Steve looked down at you and then up at the ceiling, eyes rolling

“Jesus, you’re so fucking hot.”

You looked down and the image of Steve’s large member destroying your hole was enough to make you cum around his cock again. Steve took control, taking your hips in his large hands and moving you at his will.

“Oh my god.” 

He ground you against the base of his cock and started grinding circles for his greedy eyes and your pleasure. You were addicted.

“Such a good little slut for my cock. Need you to give me one more. That’s it. Good girl.”

He grabbed you by the hair and kissed you as you shuddered through your orgasm and suddenly, you were on your back as Steve flipped you over, getting on his knees and folding you in half to fuck you even better. 

Steve stopped as he tried to hold back.

“You got me so close Doll… I gotta calm down.”

“I just want you to stuff me full of your cum, Captain.”

“Ooohhhhhh. Fuck.”

Steve sped up and then stopped, trying to calm down. But he couldn’t help what he said next that turned out to be his doom.

“Are- are you trying to have my baby, Y/N.”

You arched against him, shuddering at the thought.

“Nnnnnnoooooo. Fuck. Maybe.”

“You wanna be all round and full of my child, tits so full of milk…so I can suck… holy fuck!”

The image was making Steve start to shoot off.

“Fill me up, Steve–I”

“Ahhh!”

And then you keened as you felt his hot cum start to spurt against your walls. You came around his rapidly pulsing cock as he finished inside you.

You two were a hot, sweaty heap as you came down together, Steve kissing your forehead and praising you.

“You did so good for me.”

He gathered you in his arms.

“I love you.”

Steve gazed at you.

“Think I’ve been in love with you for 20 years, Y/N.”

You smiled at him.

“I love you too.” 

You said it, barely above a whisper. But you meant it. Then you said it again.

“I love you, Steve Rogers.”

You attacked him, kissing him again as he laughed and grabbed you, holding you close. 

“All of the bad things that we’ve gone through to get to this moment is for the best. I can see that now.”

Steve looked to you just like that little boy you met 20 years ago. Then you saw the beautiful man who loved you.

“You’re right. And this, right now. It’s the best of all.”

[chobani-flip]

meeting friends and family @bucktommypositivityweek

a bit of bucktommy fluff that unfolded as i wrote it

--

putting the car in park, buck checked his watch. shit, he was late. he was so late. he eyed the bags on the seat next to him and wondered if he should have bought the other two types of muffin as well. but he was so late, and today of all days, that he seriously doubted if tommy's love of cake might work in bribing his forgiveness.

but it hadn't been his fault! he couldn't just stand by when kathy went into labor right there next to the chicken nuggets! or it might have been kate, buck wasn't sure he heard her equally pregnant friend (mallory?) right the first time she'd moaned their names at him before thrusting two shopping carts containing two toddlers into buck's free hand once he'd introduced himself as a firefighter and dialed 911. then she proceeded to lean against the walgreens freezer and talk both herself and her friend through lamaze breathing, while buck clutched his phone with his shoulder and gave directions to sue blevins and at the same time tried to keep the toddler in the green bear tshirt from biting the toddler in pink, taking turns smiling encouragingly into their crying faces and the equally distressed but less snotty face of the walgreens manager.

and once he'd calmed the kids down a bit and nowak and wyatt from the 127 arrived, he couldn't just leave them to go to the hospital on their own. luckily, it didn't take very long for melanie's (?) partner to arrive, but still.

so now buck was late, by about two hours, on the evening that he and tommy had offered to babysit jee for the first time together.

remembering his own complete exhaustion after he'd spent an afternoon running around his niece that first time maddie had him watch her, buck was sure he should have bought those extra muffins.

buck didn't really know what he expected to find when he opened the door to his loft, but it definitely wasn't his niece sitting in her high chair at the kitchen island, quietly nibbling a carrot stick and staring at his boyfriend as though he was a new paw patrol character.

at a second glance, buck closed the door behind him and felt a bit like doing the same.

because tommy was holding a large piece of cucumber and two leaves of ice berg lettuce on the other side of the kitchen island and...

"...and like we said, because newton's third law of motion says that any action has an equal and opposite reaction, like when-"

"when i jump on the trampoline!" jee pulled the carrot out of her mouth to yell in excitement as tommy grinned at her in approval. buck felt a little faint.

"exactly, princess! and when the airfoil here," tommy shook the lettuce, "splits the air, the air pressure on top is smaller than on the bottom, that makes the air move faster downward and that generates lift!"

"lift!" jee yun cheered and danced in her chair, and buck had no idea whether she actually understood the lesson in beginner aviation just now, or if she just liked how tommy nodded approvingly at her as he handed her a wedge of cucumber. buck watched in disbelief as she rammed it into her mouth like a little chipmunk and grinned wide and green at his boyfriend, who couldn't possibly appreciate it for the miracle it was.

buck had been forced to pinky promise her never to include cucumbers in any of her snacks, "not even hided in yummy dip!", because they were "wet and ew".

although buck had to admit, he too would do (and had done) a lot of crazy things in order to get tommy to look and smile at him, so he couldn't blame jee yun too much for her change of heart.

he must have make some sort of a sound, because in the next instant jee was wriggling on her chair so much it was a wonder it didn't topple with her in it, and tommy was throwing his vegetable airplane model back into the salad bowl as though he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"uncle buck! uncle buck!" jee yun yelled, interrupting his stunned staring. "this is uncle tommy!" she added when he came up to her and at her request, lifted her into his arms.

"yeah?" was the only thing buck could think to say, as he pressed a scratchy kiss against her cheek, and turned to stare some more at his gorgeous boyfriend the tips of whose ears were turning a lovely shade of pink.

"he's a pilot!" jee yun continued to cheerfully shout in his ear.

"no way!" buck gasped.

"way way!" she yelled, and then went on to explain very seriously that she shouldn't jump on the bed because she didn't have a "jet-gin" or an airfoil and so she wouldn't fly because she couldn't "genate lift". buck nodded, also very seriously, and agreed that uncle tommy was "so cool!"

"the coolest," he said as he watched tommy start to put away the groceries.

buck had a feeling that the title of the favorite uncle that he had won from albert by knowing which brand of dino chicken nuggets to buy had just been stolen but he couldn't say he minded very much.

[anachronismstellar]

Hear me out;

For your SQH with tattoos post, what if he implemented tattoo spells or smthn into PIDW bcs he was a fan of FMA or smthn. It is a vry Airplane thing to do, trust.

Anon I'm listening loud and clear and I need this ASAP because I bet he did exactly that, he slapped some poor wanna be villain with talismans tattoos or some shit to make the villain look edgy and I bet the villain got his tattoo from a demon clan in the south or something, the point- THE POINT IS.

(oh God this is becoming a filet God save me-)

Mu Qingfang is the only one who knows about the tattoos and he doesn't approve not because he doesn't like the vibe (he kinda thinks is hot as fuck) he doesn't approve because "Heavens knows what they put in the ink and which needle they used, Shixiong!"

But with the amount of layers a peak lord has to wear, no one finds our for a long loooooong time.

Hell, Mobei that has walked into Shang Qinghua doing the weirdest shit didn't know about the damn tattoos.

Until. UNTIL.

Wife plot 397.

What is wife plot 397? No idea, Airplane doesn't know either, but the think is that it ends up with him soaked to the bone and the water has poison because of course it does so he has to strip all his robes and he has to do it fast or he can say bye bye to his skin and bones which makes him naked in front of Mobei with only Cucumber's fan (that is going to be burned later urgh Airplane you will pay for this!) saving the last dignity that he might have-

Uh. It should be more yelling. Why is everyone so quiet?

"What?"

"What?! What happened to your arms?!" Because of course Cucumber is the one who snaps out faster, but without his fan to cover his face his blush is there to anyone to see. "Are those tattoos?! Airplane what did you do- what are they for?!"

Binghe is drinking vinegar and doesn't know if he will have to kill his shishu because he had to dirty Shizun's eyes with by being shamelessly naked like that or if he should stare at Shizun's face and see if he likes the tattoos- should he get tattoos? WHAT IF HE GOT SHIZUN'S NAME IT WOULD BE SO ROMANTIC-

Meanwhile Mobei. Oh poor Mobei.

Mobei-Jun's brain has left the building, struggling between wanting to hide Qinghua's body from everyone's eyes but also wanting to take him and pin him down and lick all the drawings and bite them until Qinghua begged for mercy or-

"Oh, yea, I forgot about these uh. They are to help me with strength? Also they help to circulation of qi, and another things" and he won't anything else because if Cucumber finds out he got a FMA Scar wanna be tattoo he will be dead, he will be murdered by Cucumber-bro fan somehow.

..... and that's what I have for now because is almost 4 am DJSBAKDBSKDJSK

But feel free to take the idea and run with it!! I just want more BAMF!SQH fics in the world ;; he deserves it poor little meow meow

Thank you for the ask anon <3

[idiopath-fic-smile]

i make no promises, like i genuinely don't have any real ideas for scenes after this one, but uh here is more Singin' in the Rain ot3, continuing from here. they're not even on the honeymoon boat yet! but for whatever it's worth, there are shenanigans.

Here was another thing Cosmo had failed to predict: Don was a nervous flier. 

Cosmo had been up in the air a handful of times; Archibald owned a small personal craft that he flew sometimes on the weekends. And sure, it was cold and noisy and there was no denying that watching the ground disappear below you could give a guy a bad case of the stomach lurches, but it was a thrill all the same. An adventure, he thought, burrowing deeper into the very warm wool coat he’d had the presence of mind to bring. Don was generally up for an adventure; he’d once ridden a motorcycle full speed off a high canyon and fallen ten stories into the water below, for nothing but a day’s wages and an approving nod from the director.

The airplane offered comfortable seats and tables and fashionable cold salads served by very calm stewardesses, but from the moment of liftoff, Don sat there like a man waiting for the electric chair. Now he was clutching the armrests so tightly, the knuckles stood out sharp and white against his normally very appealing hands. 

“We should have taken the train,” said Kathy.

“Nonsense,” Don gritted out. “I’m fine. This is all perfectly fine.”

Belted in on either side of him, Kathy and Cosmo exchanged a look. One of the benefits, thought Cosmo, to being the funny little friend and not the leading man was that you were allowed to admit when you were terrified, at least a little, at least if you could make it a joke.

“I’m so sorry, Don,” Kathy said. “I should have asked if you’ve been in one of these before. Even knowing we’re perfectly safe, a train would’ve been so much more comfortable.”

Don closed his eyes. “Really, Kathy,” he said, a little more sharply. “You don’t need to—” The plane dropped several feet, and he swallowed hard.

Cosmo considered the situation. The facts were these: Don Lockwood was too proud, and too enamored with his wife, to be willing to discuss such a weakness in front of her, and now if somebody didn’t act fast, the three of them were in for an awkward, unpleasant flight. Or rather, series of flights, since the plane was going to need to refuel a couple of times along the way.

There was nothing else for it; Cosmo would have to save the day.

He took in Don’s ashen complexion and Kathy’s guilty face, and then he said cheerfully,

“Y’know, Kathy, for what it’s worth, Don actually has been in one of these before.” When this failed to earn any real response from the man, Cosmo poked him in the cheek. “Haven’t you, Don?”

“What?” said Don distractedly, swatting the finger away. “No, I haven’t.”

“Yes, you have.”

Don’s tense brow creased for a moment in irritation. “I think I’d remember—” he started.

“It was for one of those early stunting gigs,” said Cosmo. “A little biplane. They gave you goggles and an aviator hat and a brown leather jacket—” The incident stuck in Cosmo’s mind mostly because Don had looked very good in that jacket, but there were half a dozen reasons nobody needed to know that, “—and then they had you crash the plane through a barn.”

“Through a barn?” Kathy repeated, disbelieving, because apparently the fan magazines didn’t tell you everything after all.

“Into, not through,” said Don. “I didn’t come out the other side.” His fingers had relaxed ever so slightly on the poor armrests. “And that doesn’t count, that contraption never got off the ground, I only had to—”

“Into a barn?” Kathy interjected. “Why?”

Cosmo stuck a mock-pensive pose. “The things we do for art. And five dollars. And I think the producers let him keep the jacket.”

They had; Cosmo had suffered that autumn.

“Well, what about common sense,” said Kathy, “and human rights, and basic safety?”

“I said he had goggles on, didn’t I?” 

The truth was, back in those days, no matter how dangerous the feat, how seemingly impossible the stunt, Cosmo had never truly worried. It was Don, and Don could do anything. Except admit to his wife that he needed help, apparently.

“What about—about dignity,” she went on, and Cosmo snorted.

“I regret to inform you that Lady Dignity will not be making an appearance tonight.”

“Cosmo,” said Kathy, slowly, “Why in the world did you let Don do a thing like that?”

“Let?” Don and Cosmo said in unison, Don a little weakly but it was something.

“Don’t pin this on me, madam,” Cosmo added, “I am not my brother’s keeper.”

“Not my brother at all,” Don muttered, which stung a little, but Cosmo decided to let it slide in the face of how his plan was working.

“That’s hardly the worst thing we did for money,” Cosmo said instead. “Has Don told you much about our ignoble days on the road?”

Kathy shook her head, delighted. Don very discreetly kicked Cosmo in the shin. Things were looking up.

.

“So there we are,” said Cosmo, “performing in this tiny hamlet in Nebraska called, I kid you not, Oatmeal—”

“Oatmeal?” Kathy laughed.

Don had freed his fingers from the armrests entirely; he was now resting his entire face in his hands. He was no longer pallid as Nosferatu; in fact, he might have been blushing.

“It was Coyoteville,” Don volunteered without looking up.

“Pal, if you think I’d forget a place with a name like Oatmeal, Nebraska—”

“If you think I’d forget a place with a name like Coyoteville—”

“Coyoteville was in New Mexico!” said Cosmo. “Coyoteville was where we had to bunk with that ventriloquist, remember?” He watched as Don sat up and snuck a look at Kathy, who was clearly having a ball.

“The one who insisted his dummy got its own bed?” Don said with a slight smile.

“Don and me had to sleep on a twin mattress on the floor,” said Cosmo, “Curled up like a pair of puppies, if you can picture that—”

“I think so,” said Kathy, leaning forward, eyes bright, “only what happened in Oatmeal?”

“Wait, was Oatmeal where—” Don started.

“Yes! We’re about halfway through our routine, singing and hoofing our hearts out—fit as a fiddle and ready for love—when we look off to the side, at the next act waiting in the wings and we see—”

Don laughed. “You’re right, we were onstage when we realized it!”

“—at more or less the same time, I think—”

“Yes?” said Kathy.

“—the Amazing Dancing Daisy, the headliner following us—”

“Nobody had bothered to explain to us that she was a trained donkey,” Cosmo explained. “We were literally opening for an ass.”

“How was she?” Kathy managed, once she had more or less gotten her wild laughter under control. “The dancing, I mean?”

“Her footwork was a little sloppy,” said Don.

“Don’s just cross,” said Cosmo confidingly, “because she got much more applause than us.”

“They kept throwing her flowers!” said Don. “What was she meant to do with them? She didn’t even have hands!”

“So listen, Kathy.” Cosmo leaned way over Don to make eye contact with her. “The next time you two are having some sort of petty domestic squabble, if Don tries to act all high and mighty, just remember: I’m pretty sure your lawfully wedded husband is still, deep down, jealous of a donkey.”

Don grabbed Cosmo’s shoulder and flashed him a mock-scowl. “Why, when we get back on solid land…”

“I’m not afraid of you, villain,” said Cosmo, “not with your lady love here.” He stretched out an arm to Kathy. “You’ll protect me, won’t you?”

“Of course, good sir,” said Kathy, genteelly taking his hand and it was a joke, it was ridiculous, it was all completely harmless because Cosmo was hardly a threat to their marriage, and so Cosmo ducked his head and fluttered his lashes at her, and cooed,

“How shall I ever repay you?”

And then, without breaking eye contact, Kathy brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it, just a quick, warm, press of lips, entirely chaste but somehow something different, and Cosmo darted a nervous glance at up Don—he was practically in Don’s lap at this point, to better reach out to Don’s wife—because threat or not, there had to be some kind of line Cosmo was crossing. But Don was just watching them, with parted lips and slightly glazed eyes, as if it was not at all upsetting to see his girl and his best friend doing…whatever it was they were doing, and this moment was rapidly sliding away from any point of reference Cosmo might’ve had. 

Normally, Cosmo liked other people’s eyes on him. That was half the reason anyone was in showbiz, wasn’t it? Nobody might’ve looked at him twice in the street but with the right props and a couple of dance moves, he could be somebody for the length of a number or two, spread a little joy and get a lot of it back. So it wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy Don looking at him and Kathy like that. It was just—it was too much, too close to something he might’ve dreamed up alone in his bed at night. He hadn’t, but that was mostly because he’d lacked the imagination.

Cosmo freed himself, twisted back upright, and coughed. “On second thought,” he said. “I think the ventriloquist was in Dead Man’s Fang, in Arizona? Coyoteville was where that strongman threw up inside Don’s fiddle.”

“How did he manage to—” Kathy sounded sincerely perplexed. She’d left a coral pink lip print on the back of Cosmo’s hand. He tugged his coat sleeves down to his fingertips.

“Sheer determination,” said Cosmo.

[sunderwight]

Imagine how much Shen Yuan and Airplane would hate it if an actual PIDW fan transmigrated in too, though.

Like, one of the guys who genuinely loved the stallion novel harem-building aspects, the weird-yet-vanilla het sex, the willingness to throw the plot out of the door just to have yet another interchangeable woman throw herself at the hero. Someone who only ever had nice things to say in the comment section, who unironically referred to Airplane as a master storyteller, who bought some of the VIP chapters (if he liked the wife Bingge was destined to wed & bed), couldn't name any of the monsters or sex flowers or most of the male side characters, had a Xin Mo keychain and once commissioned fan art of Sha Hualing (favorite wife) looking sexy in a pin-up pose, and told Peerless Cucumber he was a weirdo who took things too seriously on more than one occasion.

I think he'd bother Airplane the most. Shen Yuan would be annoyed and tell him his taste was in his ass, but that's about it.

But Airplane? I think at first he'd be inclined to enjoy having an uncomplicated "fan" of his work turn up. This guy actually praises him! He has nothing but flattering things to say! It's like a dream come true! Except... well, Airplane himself is perfectly aware of the decisions he made in his writing and why (he sold out deliberately, not because he thought it would actually make for a better story -- say what you will about whether or not it's worth it, but the man knows what he's doing), and also I suspect kind of resents his own popular audience whenever he has to interact with them for more than minute.

After all, these were the patrons he had to appease and appeal to, the readers he had to worry about offending or alienating, the ones who were paying the bills but also would have vanished at the drop of a hat if he hadn't given them a steady supply of what they wanted. It's not the audience he actually desired, it's the one he decided not to offend in order to maximize profitability. Peerless Cucumber might be a pain in the ass, but he's a pain in the ass who picked up on the story that Airplane himself originally intended to tell, and wanted PIDW to actually be that. Which has gotta be kind of gratifying, in a roundabout way.

I think it would stress Airplane out to have someone approve of the things he himself didn't even approve of. Like on the one hand this guy seems to have only a good opinion of him, but on the other hand it's based entirely on a false impression and Airplane actually agrees way more with Cucumber's assessment of his writing, because he wrote it badly on purpose. Since the guy has a good opinion, that's something Airplane can potentially lose, and he'd be most likely to lose it by revealing the truth about his own creative intentions and his actual tastes and inclinations. A ticking time bomb of disapproval that could go off at any moment to who-knows-what effect.

He'd hate it. Eventually every time User No.3 came around he'd just be like:

[ID: A gif of Skeletor from Masters of the Universe gliding through a blue magical barrier and then reaching back to punch and shatter it. End ID]

[vasyandii]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I absolutely adore your IHNMAIMS oc. I'm a OC x canon enthusiast and seeing a character so well written and adapted to the story as Vernon is makes me so excited!! Plus your art is literally amazing. I've been curious since you mentioned how Vernon cuts potions of her meal to give them to AM and how the food improved since AM got his body, what food/meals do Vernon and AM like/dislike/have as favourite? -for AM, at least from what he has tasted- Whether if it's because of the taste, flavour, etc.

Howdy Anon! Thank you so much for the kind words, I've been giddy since I got it a few days ago! I'm glad my OC x Canon content gets your stamp of Approval >:D!! 💞💞

VernonAM 🏺🖥️ Food Preferences

I think Vernon is careful in choosing the food she shares with AM because he will eat literally ANYTHING. She would try to eat things to torture herself with, extremely spicy foods, live insects, raw organs, etc. but then remember that she has to "Feed AM". So she opts out for something normal so his taste buds don't get fucked.

Or as normal as it can get, the food kind of has the uncanny valley effect as well. It looks normal and tastes normal, but she feels there's something a bit off about it (kind of like airplane food). So she often leaves criticism to the Chef™ (AM) or asks to cook instead.

Vernon isn't particularly picky when it comes to food, she'll eat it and clean her plate. She likes her food balanced, vegetables/meat with sauce and all that. If it tastes good, she'll eat it, y'know?

AM is more... difficult. Sure, he'll eat anything, but if it tastes really bad, it'll traumatize him and he'll refuse to eat it for a while.

His food has to not be touching, if it's mixed in all together beforehand he'll eat it. If there's sauce it shouldn't be close enough to where it can contaminate the food AM's eating because he WILL taste it, no matter how small the amount is. His utensils need to be a specific size, and the food HAS to be hot/warm. He needs to be able to see or know every ingredient in it.

It's observed that AM likes fried foods/anything crunchy because of how consistent they are in taste, texture, and flavour. So what ends up happening is Vernon will just include those foods into her meal, just to not eat it and have it on a little plate for him.

Vernon asks him why he can't just make food for himself, his response is "I don't need to eat, I eat when when you eat."

But honestly it's a pretty dumb question now that she's looking back on it. AM has all the knowledge in the world about food, everything ever made, everything he's never tasted. So he's basically asking Her, indirectly, "I don't know where to start or what's good. But you do. I trust you. Feed me."

Now here's some of the meals They've had together (+ AM's comments):

Chicken soup ("Too wet", just ate the broth)

Caesar Salad ("Damp, Crunchy water")

Vanilla ice cream (experienced a brain freeze for the first time, thought his body was malfunctioning)

Spaghetti Bolognese ("No I will not be mixing it, you mix it for me")

Western beef stew (He picked out the potatoes and only ate those. Thought the meat was irritating to eat.)

Baby carrots. ("You know they bleach these, right?")

Asparagus (he likes them. Needs to be warm)

Broccoli (same thing)

Cheese Pizza (Ate it, ate too much. Tummy hurted.)

Tempura (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Fish and chips (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Coffee, black (spat it out)

Macaroni and cheese (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Grilled chicken hearts skewers (He liked it, but kept poking the roof of his mouth with the skewer.)

Half a Hamburger (picked out the vegetables because he didn't like them, still tasted it and gave the rest to Vernon)

Half a cheeseburger (ate it with no fuss.)

Aaand that'll be all for now :) if you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you need any clarifications, feel free to tell me!

[shizunitis]

speaking of bingge if bingge had managed to kill bingmei in current timeline do we think shizun would learn to love him or would ever forgive him?

he’d kill him. i’d kill him. airplane would kill him. his own wives would kill him. (does anyone else think bingmei charmed some of the wives more than bingge could. because i’ve had that thought before)

i don’t know how, i don’t even know if it’s possible, but shen qingqiu would go out trying to, and succeeding in, killing bingge. if he survives, he then uses bingge’s body as fuel to bring his binghe back, and he’d be stone-faced but with tears on his face as he did it. if failure, suicide, as per “dying together also included a ‘together’”

the whole point was that shen qingqiu sees binghe as he is, and finally separates him, in his mind, from bingge, whom he does not like, to put it mildly. bingge actually pulling this shit would spell his death and i personally greatly approve. i hope his hair and dick fall off also

[mxtx-ships]

MXTX fanfictions I recommend!

🐇WangXian🐇

Afternoon Delight by nuttinonice

It's hard for Wei Wuxian to catch his husband in a bad mood, but when he does, it's his mission to cheer him up again.

As Spring Will Surely Come by silver_sun

Now in their forth year of marriage Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are settled into their life together in the Cloud Recesses, looking forward to a quiet, cozy winter together in the Jingshi. A night hunt at a haunted water mill, old injuries and family illness make it a very difficult winter instead.

This Night Will Pass by Taer01

A night terror that felt all too real, picking at the scab wounds of Lan Wangji's heart in a horrifying way.

Wei Wuxian reassures his husband he is still there.

Does anyone even read work titles? idk what to call this by Nighttdust

"Why did I marry you?" he asks and Wei Wuxian laughs awkwardly and touches his neck and his heart beats fast, fast, fast and his throat dries up and-

"Lan Zhan, what do you mean?"

"Why did I marry you?" Lan Zhan repeats and he sounds so honest, so confused and it breaks Wei Wuxians heart. Again and again and again. Breaks and shatters and comes together again and shatters and again, again, again.

or. After 6 years of marriage Lan Wangji falls out of love with Wei Wuxian

my bones into your bones by butterflylungs

He would pour every bit of his own energy into Lan Zhan’s body if it meant saving him, but that’s the thing: he doesn’t know if it will save him. Still, Wei Wuxian will drain himself dry for the chance, even if it would be very inconvenient if he died before making sure Lan Zhan will be okay.

What was supposed to be a regular night hunt leaves Lan Wangji mysteriously ill and Wei Wuxian scrambling to save his life.

💚BingQiu💚

Wife Plots: SQH Approved, SQQ Beloathed by airplanelanding (TheCourtSorcerer)

a sort of bonding experience by airplanelanding (TheCourtSorcerer)

“You’re wrong about many things, I need more than that,” he said flippantly.

Shang Qinghua took on a vaguely offended expression and his mouth opened, as if to retort, before he slowly shut it again after a moment of thought. Shen Qingqiu smirked behind his book.

"Ignoring that,” Shang Qinghua finally opted to say, clearing his throat.

Or

Luo Binghe gets himself and his husband in a bit of a predicament when Shen Qingqiu wakes to find him a cat one morning. Luckily, Shang Qinghua is always available for Shen Qingqiu to force help out of when something goes wrong.

(aka Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua team up to make Luo Binghe not a cat again.)

sixty nine SEXY seductive ways to seduce your husband with your ankles (and more)!! by dearly_anonymous

Let Binghe go alone, defenseless, into the claws of the enemy? What if something happened and Luo Binghe fell into the demoness' ample cleavage? What if she, perish the thought, k-kissed Shen Qingqiu's husband?!!

Or, a diplomacy visit gone wrong. Also known as, Shizun Wears a Cheongsam for Airplane Bro Shitty Writing Reasons, the Fanfic.

eyes on me by orphan_account

Shen Qingqiu loves to travel with his sticky husband. The world of Proud Immortals Demon Way was full of wonders and monsters, and unfortunately, the rest of the Original Luo Binghe's many wives.

Luo Binghe pays these women no mind, especially with Shen Qingqiu by his side, but with one, his eyes begin to linger, and Shen Qingqiu takes matters into his own hands.

Shen Qingqiu will seduce his husband, and teach him a lesson.

Luo Binghe, eyes on me!!

5 Ways to make your Shizun pay attention to you! (Do not try at home, it doesn't work) by Shireyaki

Asking Shang Qinghua for dating advice was probably the worst thing Luo Binghe could have done.

Too bad he didn't know it yet.

.

...

.....or did it help after all?

(Shizun would say no.)

Hush darling, it's you that I love. by Ramune7655

SQQ's body gets de-aged on a monster hunt, to his distress. To save face, he leaves town with Binghe for a while, and of course, where there is not a sharp, elegant, and imposing adult SQQ beside Binghe, he will inevitably be swarmed with women.... Not a problem. Binghe is loyal, and he has no interest in others anyway. SQQ doesn't mind. That's right; he doesn't care at all....

(When Binghe's jealousy and insecurity accidentally caused SQQ's jealousy)

In Sickness and in Health by TheCaptinofSirius

In which Shen Yuan gets sick. He begins to worry that The System has somehow dragged his illness into this world. Binghe helps put his mind at ease.

End Racism in the OTW -- The Golden Furred Sword Trapper by pallas_rose

Post canon, Luo Binghe plans the perfect date: delicious food, beautiful scenery, and a rare Abyssal monster.

Little did he know that The System was also planning a celebration.

Can Shen Qingqiu avert disaster?

a separate homeward way by Miss_TeaDDK

"Luo Binghe has a dream that takes him to a black, shallow lake. Just as he starts to think he's alone, different versions of his husband start rising from the water and staring at him one by one, each body showing a different cause of death. As he hears these bodies calling for him, he starts having more and more trouble trying to return to the waking world."

When Shen Qingqiu is caught offhandedly expressing a longing for his unknown past, Luo Binghe fears that perhaps his Husband still does not consider him part of the home and future he himself has always dreamt of.

Husband to the Rescue by SheiraScar

Shen Qingqiu was assigned to an emergency mission to Haian city, a city with no cultivator and a huge trauma of demons. However, his-demon-lord-husband insisted on coming along. Ever so weak to his tears, Shen Qingqiu finally agreed. When things took unexpected turn and Luo Binghe was in danger, would Shen Qingqiu come to rescue him?

Lessons in possession by some_hag

But in the night time...

Oh, in the night time his face changes completely. His warmth turns into smoldering hot flames and sweet words are dripping with sin, he’s beautiful and blasphemous in a way that makes Shen Qingqiu’s face burn. (Shen Qingqiu tries not to think about it too often, but it’s just so much, too much, one does not simply push away vivid whole-body memories like that.)

A Vision Dressed In Red by straightforwardly

In which Luo Binghe is really, really hot for how Shen Qingqiu looks in red.

a silly question by azunshi

“Husband, do you love me?”

Sometimes, Luo Binghe needs a little reassurance that his husband loves him so.

Self-Care is Getting Bent over the Desk by your Demon Husband by TARDIStime

Being Qing Jing Peak Lord is a lot of work. However will Shen Qingqiu cope?

Binghe has an idea (or several).

Breaking The System by justkillthetitan

Shen Yuan is kicked back to his original world.

Luo Binghe wants to find his beloved Shizun.

lavender honey by forestsongs

"Binghe was so good to him, he thought. As caring and attentive as always, putting up with Shen Qingqiu’s fussy moods. Sometimes, Shen Qingqiu felt almost bad. Most of the time, it was Binghe touching him first, Binghe using his honeyed words to coax him into bed, Binghe taking place between his opened legs. What did he even get out of it?

It was unfair!"

or; Shen Qingqiu tries to be a good husband.

I can't say no when you look at me like this by Speechless_since_1998

“Shizun, no,” Binghe sighed wearily, while Shen Qingqiu held a demonic beast large enough to crush a child's head with its paw.

“But look at it, Binghe. It's a puppy!” he told him, showing him that horror in black fur and red eyes, which wagged its tail happily.

It must be said that, if he too were an animal, he would be more than happy to be in Shizun's arms. But that wasn't the point.

The demon said, “That is a hell tiger. It's not a puppy."

(In which Shen Qingqiu has a little too much fascination with monsters and the like and Luo Binghe can't resist her husband's puppy eyes.)

Can't Sleep Without Your Warmth Next To Me by HiyoriTomioka

For a while now, Shen Qingqiu had been wondering whether Luo Binghe would have fallen in love with him if he still looked like Shen Yuan, like his original body.

Familiar Stranger by GooseRot

After accidentally killing one of the most powerful criminals in the country in a tragic, ice cream related mishap, Shen Yuan is spirited away by witness protection to a foreign country.

There he meets a sweet stranger who, as the years pass, grows more and more familiar.

-

Or: Shen Yuan’s would-be assassin becomes his (extremely) overprotective boyfriend.

A Strong Need by TheCaptinofSirius

Shen Yuan wakes up horny, and Binghe is aroused and confused. So are all of the other people in the throne room.

Red Robes by TheCaptinofSirius

Shen Qingqiu braces himself for his wedding night. The next morning he is treated to warm cuddles with his new husband.

The Termination of Bliss by TheCaptinofSirius

"One word could bring disgrace and the termination of a bliss.”

― Ali Ibn Abi Talib A.S

Shen Yuan snaps at Luo Binghe, and finds himself doing the chasing for once.

Still Beautiful to Me by TheCaptinofSirius

Shen Yuan was no stranger to body issues. After having his son, they return with a vengeance. Luckily Luo Binghe is there to help put his mind at ease.

Time Well Spent by TheCaptinofSirius (Added In Later)

Shen Yuan is the one hit by a fuck or die plot. He might as well get it over with.

what's your love language? by the_nerd_youre_looking_for (Added In Later)

5 times Shen Qingqiu shows his affection and 1 time he actually uses his damn words

🦋HuaLian🦋

i will wait for you by toaster_mommy

It was just a normal morning.

The night before went the same as usual, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian holding each other as they drifted to sleep. Nothing out of the ordinary.

They braided each other's hair before going to sleep, hopefully to eliminate wasted time in the morning spent brushing each other's hair.

Nothing new, nothing different. Just a normal day. That’s why Hua Cheng spent the majority of his morning watching his husband sleep.

He watched his beloved’s chest rise and fall. He caressed Xie Lian’s pretty face as he slept, thankful his husband was a heavy sleeper when they laid next to one another.

He was so entranced by his husband's beauty he didn’t even notice the absence of a certain piece of cloth over his non-existent eye.

Or

Hua Cheng isn’t as sure of himself as he looks, and truly is just a coward that hides behind an eyepatch.

But his Gege is there to prove him wrong.

Why Worry When You Love Me? by Edward_The_Vampire

Xie Lian thinks about how lang waited so long for him and his devotion starts to feel unworthy. A new god ascends and is upset he is no longer pure and “princely” which makes him feel useless and unworthy of ruling the heavens as well. He forgets the day and ends up having a mental breakdown where Hua Cheng comforts him.

safe by iJoke

xie lian has a nightmare about his first banishment and hua cheng is there to help him through it

Next time, bring a napkin by beesonvenus

Pei Ming has a sudden urge to drink, and he goes to Ghost City to sate it. Something he will regret later on.

The Sun Behind My Eyes (And The Mouth On Mine) by starry_stan

Xie Lian gets kidnapped. When he thinks it can't get any worse, he's put in a situation that sends his mind straight back to being buried alive for 100 years. Luckily, he has a husband that would burn the world to save him, and save him he does.

The Exploits of a Prince, and His Forbidden Love Affair by debwriting

Prince Xie Lian and Royal Guard Hua Cheng have known each other since they were young. Though the two were raised in entirely different worlds, their connection deepens as they grow older. Until eventually, a simple crush transforms into an all-consuming love affair.

Watch the two lovers as they navigate their forbidden romance, and a war that threatens to sever them apart.

Unfold My Desire by nuttinonice

When a new god ascends, he's shocked to find that the pure and virginal Dianxia he once worshipped is now the very much sexually active husband of a demonic ghost king. Xie Lian deals with the fall out of being shamed for the sexual confidence he's worked so hard to build.

Alternatively, Xie Lian struggles to kickstart his slut era.

transfer my tragedy by nobirdstofly

Hua Cheng has had centuries to worship him, to show his devotion, but to see it reflected in Xie Lian’s eyes is staggering. Like this, Xie Lian is a barely leashed guard dog. A beast that smiles up at Hua Cheng with all the love in the three realms and blood in his teeth.

Xie Lian will do anything to protect Hua Cheng, and Hua Cheng can't help but be into that.

like sailors swimming in the sound of it, dashed to pieces by namelessflower

"Don't ever leave me again," Xie Lian whispers against Hua Cheng's lips, fists clenched in Hua Cheng's robe, voice quivering.

“I will never leave you,” Hua Cheng answers fiercely, with the ardent devotion of a lover, the unyielding conviction of a believer. “I will never, ever leave your side again, Dianxia, I swear it. Believe me.”

After Xie Lian has a nightmare about losing Hua Cheng for good, Hua Cheng holds him until he is able to fall asleep again.

Can’t Be Alone by Gigglemite

Hua Cheng has a bad morning. Xie Lian is more than willing to spend all day in bed cuddling his husband until he feels like he can get up.

nobody else but me by nikkiRA (Added in Later)

Often, if people were to stare, it would be at Hua Cheng (Xie Lian couldn't blame anyone for it—he understood). But today, perhaps amplified by the high quality clothes he was wearing, Xie Lian's beauty was shining through for everyone to see. And everyone did see; whether Xie Lian had noticed or not, people were staring.

Hua Cheng had certainly noticed.

come back to me by miska_kuura. (Added in Later)

When Hua Cheng catches a cold, Xie Lian is naturally worried and determined to take care of his husband. This time, however, it turns out some fever dreams can end up being a nightmare for both of them.

i feel you reflecting me by tiredjunkbag (Added In Later)

A hand slips up his neck to grasp roughly at his chin, tilting his head. “Look at yourself” Hua Cheng mouths into his shoulder. Xie Lian squirms, freezing in place. He can’t. It’s embarrassing, he won’t look, he-

he really wants to see.

**

Or: hualian try out a new bed.

There are mirrors.

🤜FengQing🤛

Poison and Flame by DAY_DREAM

Buried feelings are brought to light when Mu Qing gets injured by a mysterious creature. Can love find its way through a vicious curse? Will it get burned by a flame of awakening desire?

Make Me Forget Myself by Gigglemite

“Tell me,” Feng Xin urged, the worry in his gut only building in intensity the longer he stares at such an emotionally raw Mu Qing. “Tell me what you need.”

Mu Qing’s eyes only opened wider at those words, more tears welling up. He couldn’t speak, he could barely even move from the position he had lodged himself into before going stock still.

“Mu Qing,” Feng Xin had to forcefully swallow down the words that almost spilled off the tip of his tongue. Saying, ‘I would give you anything you ask for’, probably would not go over too well in this situation. “What happened?”

“Am I unloveable?”

I've Got You by xiaaa101 (Added in Later)

Feng Xin was shaking. Violently shaking as he stood there, in Mt Tonglu watching the scene unfold. Xie Lian was to his right, being held back by Hua Cheng, his mouth open, screaming and screaming. But Feng Xin couldn't hear. His sound had become muffled, his eyes glued on what he saw before him. Mu Qing.

What did Mu Qing go through during the Xianle Trio separation?... What if White No-Face had come after Mu Qing?...

I Think I'd Die For You by dianxiasbussy (Added in Later)

Feng Xin and Mu Qing live in hiding and live like every moment might be their last. They kiss in the rain because it’s cliche. They fuck in the back of their car because it’s convenient, and most importantly they tell each other “I love you” every day in case they might not get to say it ever again.

bigger than the whole sky by sequinhaze (Added In Later)

“This is where I buried our daughter,” Mu Qing whispers.

Feng Xin’s entire world comes to a halt right then and there.

The Labor of Love Produces the Sweetest Fruits by foxfeast (Added In Later)

In the decades that had passed since the fall of White No-Face, Mu Qing had learned three things about Feng Xin:

One: Feng Xin was, apparently, in love with Mu Qing.

Two: Feng Xin was, apparently, very sexually frustrated.

Three: Feng Xin was, apparently, not interested in having sex with Mu Qing.

———

Thirteen years ago, Feng Xin confessed his love to Mu Qing. Thirteen years later, and they still hadn’t had sex. Mu Qing can only come to one conclusion:

Feng Xin is not sexually attracted to him.

Mu Qing’s solution? Seduce his partner.

love me even when it's terrible by luminvies (Added In Later)

“I’ve had a whole lot of experience of you being a fucking annoyance. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have stuck around for this long. Lucky for you," he leans back, bops Mu Qing's nose, and revels in the way his eyes go cross-eyed, "I've loved you for so long I don't know how else to feel."

In which Mu Qing is Feng Xin's favorite.

Can you tell who my favorite is??? I'm new to reading fanfiction of these characters so please give me recommendations as well!!