thesadisticsiren

[thesadisticsiren]

apothecary diaries opening

how other characters see maomao

[thesadisticsiren]

Sometimes I think I woobify Shen Yuan too much then I reread svsss and literally shen yuan himself is saying he's a frail man while other characters tell him "You're way too delicate" or offer to massage his waist

[thesadisticsiren]

My beautiful and courageous sons username and password are being killed by a freak called Sign in with Google

[thesadisticsiren]

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

[thesadisticsiren]

I can’t stop thinking about the Mid-Autumn Festival Banquet drinking game from book 3.

Like imagine. You pass a goblet around, duck-duck-goosing it until one of you is unlucky enough to trip the mystery loser wire that signals you're "it," for this round.

The poor idiot gets their name plugged into the xianxia version of an AO3 search bar, and whatever mortal-made fanfiction of your life pops up first gets broadcast in front of ALL your coworkers. Your only hope is that whatever absurd fanfic of your life is written well, because mortals are horny bastards, and you have no control over who they ship you with. Half of these plays are just your mortal fans smashing barbies of you and some heavenly rando together yelling "NOW KISS" and you just have to fuckin'...sit there. I would die.

[thesadisticsiren]

pour one out for the guy who just spilled his drink

[thesadisticsiren]

every time someone calls a cis man an egg because he decides to deviate even slightly from traditional masculine gender norms, an angel loses its wings

[thesadisticsiren]

[thesadisticsiren]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[thesadisticsiren]

Part of me wants to make an AU where Shen Yuan never breaks the OOC lock, or at least breaks it WAY later. I want to see the shenanigans and loopholes he pulls on the system to get his way. He's a clever guy who can strategize and argue like he will die on ANY and EVERY hill, and he DID manage to twist things his way before the lock was lifted. I want to see how far he could GO.

Shen Qingqiu: Obviously the scum villain, upon finding out the little beast is an excellent cook, would keep those skills for himself. He wouldn't share or allow another peak lord or disciple to benefit from it!

System: USER, LETTING THE PROTAGONIST COOK FOR YOU IS OOC!! (￣_￣|||)

Shen Qingqiu: LET HIM? Let him your MOTHER! No, I'm MAKING him. He has to, it's part of his chores. He has to get up extra early to cook for me, and it takes up more of his time. Everyone else gets the Qingjing peak's quality meals, Binghe will have to subsist on whatever extras he can after cooking for this master. Plus if he does badly I have more excuse to punish him! Now shut up, Binghe's making Twice Cooked Pork and I have to watch him do it to make sure he doesn't poison anything. And not because he likes watching Binghe.

Additionally

system: USER WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

Shen Qingqiu, patting Binghe's head: What does it look like I'm doing, you bastard. I'm hitting him.

System: ...

Shen Qingqiu: I can't do it too hard, of course! I can't risk leaving marks where people might see them. I'm just being forward thinking!!

AND ALSO

Shen Qingqiu, to himself: FUCK how do I help Liu Qingge without being out of character-

System: NO WORRIES, USER!! ASSISTING THE BAI ZHAN PEAK LORD WITH HIS QI DEVIATION IS NOT OOC! o(*￣▽￣*)o

Shen Qingqiu: fucking WHAT?!?

[thesadisticsiren]

Warding off the oncoming depressive episode by reading about very old tortoises

[thesadisticsiren]

My hot take is shen yuan is weirder than binghe. Yeah binghe is insane, but his craziness is a result of child abuse, loss, and a literal evil sword messing up his brain. Shen Yuan grew up with a rich and loving family and he still does out of pocket shit like fake his suicide and say he wouldn't abort you after you have sex. That is raw, primal freak

[thesadisticsiren]

[thesadisticsiren]

Im way prettier than all my haters.. except for you, babe

[thesadisticsiren]

*shizun’s wife

[thesadisticsiren]

she sunk on my cost til i fallacy

[thesadisticsiren]

but what if i read one of your fanfics and then went to your ao3 accounts and read all of your fanfics and left a comment on every single chapter of every single one and you got spam emails from all of my kudos and comments and it made you smile, what then? what if i brighten your day with my words like you did mine, what then???