#ainun

[lhsbag]

Khansa bag

70.000

[sadculturee]

AINUN'S FILM REVIEW - EILEEN

Ratings: 7/10

Having Ottessa Moshfegh herself write the screenplay and produce the movie, "Eileen" was unsurprisingly a faithful adaptation of the original work. Aesthetically, the movie was right up my alley. Some of the dialogues and visual compositions felt reminiscent of gifs that could have gone viral on sad-girl-tumblr circa 2014. Sadly, they left out large chunks of the titular character development and her self-transformation in the second half of the story. In addition to the elimination of a lot of Eileen's raw, peculiar and disgusting behavior. All of which I felt was what made the source material interesting in the first place.

Disclaimer: There might be some minor spoilers.

Set in mid-60s Massachusetts, "Eileen" unfolds the story of a repressed and shy young secretary, the titular character, who became captivated with a glamorous enigmatic new counselor, with somewhat of a femme fatale persona, Rebecca, in the boy prison where she works. As the two grew closer in their friendship, Eileen was inspired to explore new facets of herself. Her transformation along with her relationship with Rebecca would then take a twisted turn with the revelation of a secret.

My first reaction upon watching the movie was that Thomasin McKenzie surprised me with her deliverance of Eileen. She managed to portray such a complex, repressed, longing, lonely mid-twenty woman mainly through nuanced body language and facial expressions. Her portrayal of Eileen's transformation, from drowning in the nihilism of reality to embracing her identity, was compelling. Apologies for ever being skeptical about her casting (in my defense, my main concern was I thought she was FAR too pretty to play such a disgusting character). 

McKenzie’s chemistry with Anne Hathaway, who played Rebecca was magnetic. It got me swooning over Rebecca every time she smiled at Eileen. I thank the casting directors for signing the perfect pair to represent the leads. Hathaway's charismatic persona carried Rebecca's alluring siren characteristic, a lovely balance to McKenzie's awkward and naive Eileen. This dynamic kept the audience wondering about the true nature of their friendship up until the revealing plot twist.

Despite these strengths, I was quite disappointed that they toned down some of the raw and weird icks from the book, something I was sort of looking forward to in an Ottessa Moshfegh adaptation. Watching this only a few days after I watched “Saltburn” and all the freaky stunts Barry Keoghan did, might worsen my disappointment with “Eileen”. This change from the books made Eileen less complex and more likable, which made her attraction to Rebecca less unsettling. It eliminated her self-reflection on her own mistakes, self-absorption and naivete which was more clearly described in the book.

For people who haven’t read the books, I can imagine the conflict resolution and ending to be weak and vague. It left a lot for self-interpretation, something I realize not a lot of younger social media-addicted audiences, who are more used to more "direct" movies, would like. This open-endedness laid a heavy burden on McKenzie’s acting, which thankfully, was wonderful, but in my honest opinion, wasn't enough to compensate for the lack of closure. Integrating some of Eileen’s internal monologues, especially during her final scenes, could have provided a more satisfying conclusion for a wider audience

Regardless, despite my few disappointments, for me, both the movie and the book resonated with an emotional sense of painful longing and the agonizing feeling of being entrapped in one's self, unable to break free because of unseen limitations. It captured self-realization and the thrill of taking control of your own life and emotions. Well suited for people in their mid-20s, struggling with a quarter-life crisis. I don't know if this was intentional or not, but for me, the vague ending could represents the vagueness of life itself and the uncertainties of the future, adding an interesting depth to its thematic exploration.

[jumalahmad]

Superintellegence Software, Inti Cinta dalam Diri Manusia

Manusia memiliki medan magnet, medan magnet artinya daerah sekitar yang masih dipengaruhi oleh magnet.

Seseorang akan memancarkan medan magnet kepada sekitarnya, sehingga orang disekitarnya akan merasakan gelombang elektro magnet dari orang tersebut.

Sebagai contoh, Orang yang bahagia akan memancarkan gelombang kebahagiaan kepada orang yang disekitarnya, sebaliknya orang yang sedih akan memancarkan gelombang kesedihan kepada orang disekitarnya pula.

Dalam Medan magnet manusia terdapat inti cinta yang disebut Superintellegence Software (SIS), inti inilah yang menjadikan seorang ibu mencintai anaknya, lelaki perempuan menyayangi pasangannya.

Ada energi kuantum yang harus diberikan kepada setiap sel dalam tubuh. Setiap pertemuan protein laki – laki dan protein wanita akan dimasuki Superintellegence software.

Jika manusia meninggal dan perangkat keras seorang manusia berhenti berfungsi, tidak ada reaksi neuron dan proton, akibatnya tidak ada lagi Medan Magnet dan Superintellegence Software (SIS) pun hilang.

Lalu kemanakah Super Intelligent Software itu?

Prof. BJ. Habibie berkeyakinan bahwa Super Intelligent Software itu mencari Medan Magnet yang compatible dengan Super Intelligent Software kita dan Medan Magnet yang compatibel ada dua yaitu:

Magnet ibunya

Medan Magnet disebabkan Cinta Ilahi, cinta yang manuggal sepanjang masa.

Mungkin karena itulah kenapa jika ibu atau pasangan yang kita cintai hilang dari kehidupan, kita akan tetap merasakan kehadirannya. Bahkan terkadang seseorang bisa ‘kemasukan’ sifat dari pasangannya.

Pak Habibie, beliau pernah bercerita kalau dia orangnya urakan, tidak suka tepat waktu dan tidak disiplin. Setelah istrinya meninggal, seakan akan ada perubahan, beliau menjadi lebih disiplin dan tepat waktu, seakan akan jiwa Ainun masuk dalam dirinya.

…

Terbit di Medium.

[hbelric]

"Siapa pun jangan terjebak oleh kemewahan yang bernama kekuatan. Karena bagi keterbatasan manusia, ketika kekuatan memuncak, ia menjadi kelemahan."

Emha Ainun Najib. Dalam buku, Titik Nadir Demokrasi.

[chakapriambudi]

Musik Jazz di Pendopo Wisma Habibie Ainun Jakarta

Selasa 17 september 2024, kami mendapat kesempatan bermusik untuk mengiringi jamuan makan malam di Pendopo Wisma Habibie Ainun, Jl Patra-Kuningan Jakarta. Nadia Sofia -Duta WHA, yang juga cucu dari alm. B.J. Habibie, menyambut dan memandu para tamu undangan yang  untuk tur berkeliling mulai dari area library, basement yang dipenuhi koleksi kendaraan antik. Bertindak sebagai host bapak Umar…

[rasiooid]

Penyandingan Suara "Gantung" Nasib PDIP-Demokrat di Dapil Banten 2, Kursi Terakhir Rebutan Sarifah-Nuraeni

RASIOO.id – Sarifah Ainun Jariyah nampaknya belum bisa tidur nyenyak pasca pemilu 2024. Caleg DPR RI peraih suara terbanyak di Dapil Banten 2 belum tentu bisa dilantik lantaran adanya putusan Mahkamah Konstitusi (MK) yang meminta KPU menyandingkan suara PDIP antara C1 dengan D hasil kecamatan. Putusan Mahkamah Konstitusi Nomor 183-01-14-16/PHPU.DPR-DPRD-XXII/2024 tersebut membatalkan sebagain…

[bantennewscoid-blog]

Ini 6 Caleg Terpilih DPR RI dari Dapil Banten 2, Empat Pendatang Baru

SERANG – Enam orang calon anggota legislatif (caleg) DPR RI dari daerah pemilihan (dapil) Banten 2 yang meliputi Kota Cilegon, Kota Serang dan Kabupaten Serang dipastikan lolos ke Senayan. Kepastian itu berdasarkan hasil pleno rekapitulasi perolehan suara hasil Pemilu 2024. Dari enam caleg DPR RI yang lolos ke Senayan, Jakarta, empat di antaranya merupakan pendatang baru, yaitu, Annisa M.A Mahesa…

[hargo-news]

Penjagub Gorontalo Lantik Dewan Pengawas BLUD RSUD dr. Hasri Ainun Habibie

Hargo.co.id, GORONTALO – Penjabat Gubernur Gorontalo, Ismail Pakaya melantik tiga pejabat Dewan Pengawas Badan Layanan Umum Daerah (BLUD) RSUD dr. Hasri Ainun Habibie, Selasa (20/2/2024). Ketiga pejabat tersebut adalah Sekda Provinsi Gorontalo, Sofian Ibrahim sebagai ketua dewan pengawas. Prasetyo Abdi Utama Biki sebagai sekretaris dan Kadis Kesehatan Provinsi Gorontalo, Anang S. Otoluwa sebagai…

[031073sblog]

[lhsbag]

Khansa bag

70.000

[sadculturee]

AINUN'S FILM REVIEW

THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES

Ratings: 9.7/10

It was an emotionally conflicting experience watching President Snow's character development and eventual rise to power when they have freaking Tom Blyth playing the protagonist. I am going to need a few nights to render my thoughts and resolve my moral dilemma 🙂 ✌️. All throughout the film, I cannot help but imagine the Tumblr uproar if this were to be released in 2010-2014. I just know Tumblr girlies (me included) would be completely insufferable, simping over yet another problematic fictional man. 

Full disclaimer though, I haven't yet read the book (I will), so my whole review is going to be based on my first time experiencing his story and the film only. Minor Spoiler Alert!

Right off the bat, very surprising (but obviously expected) this film absolutely nailed it. Once again, a Hunger Games movie outmatched previous releases and broke the bad-sequel curse. It would've been a solid 10/10 from me if it didn't push me into a spiral of moral dilemma over Snow's actions and how GORGEOUS he looked when he was younger (/joke) (/but not really) (damn you, Tom Blyth).

Truly, Francis Lawrence did his magic once more, the whole deliverance of the story was a cinematic blessing. The fight scenes and the tension built up before and after the games had me on my feet, gripping the edge of my seat, terrified yet enthralled by what was about to happen. Having read and watched the trilogy, I have a slight notion of how the ending would be. Whatever happens, Snow will survive and rise as the most powerful victor in all of Panem. And to know that, whilst watching the games and his exile story played out, honestly terrifies me. 

Having the story laser-focused (and very well written) on the main villain had me occasionally losing myself in his emotions and perspective, I lost grip on the reality of the abuse and oppression The Capitol inflicted on all 12 districts and their people, with The Hunger Games as the peak reminder of their terrors, showing the people who're actually in power. I found myself empathizing with Snow's character during some of his vulnerable moments. For a moment I imagined if only people were nicer, if his circumstances were a little bit more ideal, Snow would have grown up to be a better person (which obviously was a terribly false assumption as this man is honestly devil reincarnated). 

ALSO, as a self-proclaimed musical addict, I simply cannot write this review without giving my highest praise to Rachel Zegler, Dave Cobb and James Newton Howard for perfecting the film with their music. Every time Zegler starts singing, I get goosebumps all over. Her verses and emotions took hold of my entire body and moved me to feel whatever emotions the creators wanted me to feel. Midway, I felt like Zegler's decision to pursue acting instead of singing should make hit singers grateful because she would sweep them away so quickly with that voice and talent 🥹.

The film perfectly mirrors how fights against oppression are often harshly labelled as unjust terrors or savage rebellions, deserving of brutal punishments by the ruling governments. Regardless of how these "rebellions" were simply a desperate attempt for the oppressed to survive another day. When the stakes are too high, beyond their control, and the prospect of a better future is bleak, they would have nothing more to lose. Fighting would be the only option they have. It would be either fight or die. A literal, real-life hunger game where the whole world is your arena. And considering current global events, the release of this film feels extremely fitting. Which raises one big question: "If you can stand with the rebels fighting for justice, against immoral and inhumane rulings in movies and books, why won't you stand for them in real life?"

The movie ended with Snow finally getting a spot in The Capitol, a near guarantee of a successful future, with his grandmother and Tigris by his side congratulating him. Not going to spoil the ending for anyone who hasn't watched the film, but I'm just gonna say that in that scene I so wish I could hear both Tigris and Snow's inner thoughts and emotions. 

In conclusion, I regret not watching this movie sooner and totally recommend all dystopian fiction fans to watch in the theaters! 

[jejakatersangatkacak]

Dr Ainun..cantik giler..ni kalau dpt mmg x lepas dh..🤤

[hbelric]

“Hidup ini bukan kamu sukses atau tidak, bukan menang atau kalah. Tapi Hidup didunia ini apakah kamu bertahan berjuang bergantung pada Allah dalam keadaan apapun juga.”

[miss-hyoko]

Our Love Is True

Character(s): Malleus

Summary: You're about to die and Malleus wasn't ready to let you go

Tag(s) and warning(s): GN!Reader, angst, romantic, reader is Yuu, established relationship, death, and 1.9k words

Note: This fic was inspired by Habibie & Ainun, a famous romance movie in my country. Their OST is the one I translated for the later part of this fic. If you're interested, you can hear the song here (Official MV) or here (English Translation)

P.S: I translated this in the middle of the night when my brain wasn't quite right. If you found something wrong, please let me know 👉👈

Since the beginning of your relationship, Malleus already knew he wouldn’t be able to spend the rest of his life with you.

For he a fae and you a human; one is a creature destined to live a long life, while the other is just a mere mortal with a short life span.

Malleus was well aware of this fact, more than anyone else. Even so, he still wants to be with you, his most beloved person.

If he can’t spend the rest of his life with you, then at least let him accompany you until the end of your life.

***

Many people think that Malleus’ feelings for you are nothing but a temporary attraction and that the relationship between you two won’t last long. So, they patiently await the news about your breakup with the crown prince of Briar Valley.

Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months, and months turn to years. Time goes by so fast, yet there is still no breakup news from you and Malleus.

Instead, they got news about your marriage with Malleus; and how you both worked together to lead the Briar Valley.

Even though your appearance has changed drastically with the passage of time, the relationship between you and Malleus still continues in harmony. He doesn’t seem to mind about the changes your body is going through; often seen gently kissing your wrinkled face when appearing together in public.

At this point, almost everyone believes that Malleus really loves you and is serious about his relationship with you.

All of that is further proven true when one day, you fall seriously ill.

Doctors and healers throughout the Twisted Wonderland were called to check upon you. Unfortunately, they couldn’t do much because your body is already weak from aging. It’s only a matter of time before you breathe your last breath.

They told Malleus that he needed to prepare himself for the worst-case scenario. But he doesn’t want to; he’s still not ready to lose you.

Frantically, he tried to find a way to extend your life. From reading through all the ancient records in the palace library to even sending some of his knights out to find a way to save you, he had tried it all. Alas, no matter how hard he searched, he found nothing to help you.

Devastated, Malleus dejectedly accepts the fact that you will soon leave him forever.

And ever since that, except for some rare occasions where his presence is absolutely required, Malleus stopped appearing in public, wanting nothing more than to be by your side in the remaining time of your life.

***

Today, unlike usual, you slept very soundly and woke up feeling refreshed. It was the most comfortable sleep you’ve ever had since you got bedridden a year ago due to your illness worsening. Your old body feels full of energy, just like when you were young. But instead of feeling happy, all you can feel is just melancholy.

Today is the day, huh?

Suddenly, there was a rhythmic knock on your door.

“Are you awake, sweetheart?” Malleus entered your room carrying a bowl of warm porridge.

“Good morning, Hornton.”

A subtle smile you gave to him when your eyes met with his. You can no longer see clearly because your eyesight is getting worse; still, you can faintly see the sorrow hidden behind those emerald-green eyes of his that you love the most.

Ah, so he already knows…

Placing the porridge on the bedside table, Malleus walked over to the window and drew back the curtains, showing you the morning sky of Briar Valley.

“Such a great weather we have for today,” he commented in a barely audible voice, trying to sound calm in your presence.

From your position, you can see how the morning sun hits Malleus’ handsome face while a gentle breeze slowly blows his dark hair strands. No matter how many decades have passed, he still looks the same as the first time you met him near Ramshackle Dorm; breathtakingly handsome.

“Today’s breakfast is your favorite porridge, sweetheart. Here, let me help you.”

Taking the porridge earlier, Malleus took a spoonful of its contents and blew on it briefly before bringing it down to your mouth.

You stared alternately between the spoon and Malleus’ face for a few moments. He, The Mighty Fae King who was feared and respected by many, now humbles himself to serve your daily needs; doing the menial work that should be done by the servants.

Your heart suddenly hurts. Whether out of joy or sadness, you also don’t know.

“I don’t want to eat…” you say rather weakly.

Malleus didn’t insist. He just smiled and put the porridge back on the table. “Then at least have a little drink, alright?”

“Hornton… Can we go for a walk in the garden?” you asked suddenly, making Malleus, who was about to pour you some water, instantly stop moving.

He didn’t answer right away. You can hear how he tries to control his irregular breathing.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He answered in a weak voice after a moment of silence; a wistful smile formed on his face when he turned to look at you.

“Let’s go to the garden.”

***

With one arm under your legs and the other supporting your back, Malleus holds you close while walking around the palace garden. His steps were calm and collected as usual, but the grim expression on his face gave away his true feelings.

“Don’t be so tense, Hornton.”

Hearing your weak voice, Malleus reflexively shifted his gaze to you, who was lying comfortably in his arms.

From this close distance, Malleus can see how time has changed you. Your face is now full of wrinkles, your hair’s original color has been completely replaced with white strands, and most of your hair has fallen out, leaving a few bald spots on your head.

To others, you are probably just another ugly old person. But in Malleus’ eyes, you’re still the same beautiful human who managed to steal his heart decades ago.

“You will make other people run scared if you make a face like that,” you said, smiling weakly.

Malleus is aware that you were trying to cheer him up, but he couldn’t bring himself to smile the way you wanted him to. Not when he knows he will soon lose you, the only bright light in his dark life.

“I do not care about other people. I only care about you alone,” he whispered hoarsely.

As if you had expected him to say that, you just laughed lightly without making any further comment.

Hearing you laugh heartily, Malleus’s gaze unconsciously softened a bit. No matter how often he heard it, he didn’t think he would ever get tired of hearing your laugh.

If only he could hear your laughter for all eternity, how great would it be?

“That big tree in the middle of the garden, I want to see it. Can you take me there?”

“With pleasure, sweetheart.”

Trying to divert his attention from the fact that you will die soon, Malleus gently kissed your forehead and carried you to where you wanted.

Arriving in the middle of the palace garden, Malleus immediately sat in the shade of the tree while placing you in his lap.

“Hehehe, I always like it whenever you hug me close like this, Hornton.” Chuckling softly, you snuggled deeper into your husband’s arms. “Hug me tighter, please?”

“Anything for you, sweetheart. Anything…”

As he hugged you tighter, Malleus’ shoulders started to tremble, realizing that your death was approaching nearer and nearer, all while he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Unaware of his reaction, you continued to ramble with unfocused eyes.

“Are you always this warm, Mal?”

No, it’s your body that’s getting colder…

“Ah, but this temperature is perfect. I like it….”

“Is that so?” Malleus gently stroked your wrinkled cheek with great tenderness.

“Then, could you stay a little longer?”

As if you didn’t hear his question, you just smiled a little and brought your face closer to his hand resting on your cheek.

You didn’t answer him, but Malleus already knows the answer.

You can’t stay any longer.

Malleus’ vision began to blur, and he could feel tears starting to well up in the corners of his eyes.

With the way he looked down at you who was lying in his arms, the tears involuntary rolled down his cheeks before finally falling on your face.

“Don’t cry, Hornton.”

Your voice now sounds hoarser than before, and Malleus can feel his tears flowing even more. With great difficulty, you move your frail hands to cup his face, trying to wipe the tears away from his cheeks.

But before you could touch his face, Malleus grabbed your hand first. His green eyes stare intently at yours.

For a few seconds, the two of you just stared at each other in silence. Until finally, you broke the silence with a request.

“That song... can you sing it for me?”

Malleus’ body involuntarily stiffened at your request. He knows which song you mean. It’s a song you taught him not long after you two just got married. The one you always sing to him whenever he feels afraid of losing you someday to death.

That song is something special for both of you.

Malleus’ grip on you tightened, and he slowly lowered his head to press his forehead against yours; silently sobbing with ragged breaths.

As long as it’s something you want, Malleus will definitely grant it, no matter how hard or unreasonable it is.

“When the heart

twisting and disturbing the mind.

Repeating memories,

when love meets love.”

Malleus’s voice quivered ever so slightly as he started to sing.

But you didn’t notice it; continue to lay comfortably in Malleus’ embrace with eyes closed to enjoy your husband’s melodious voice. Past memories start playing like a broken record inside your head; your first meeting with him, your date together, the time he proposed to you, all up to your grand wedding.

“My soul is screaming,

emphasizing that I love you.

Thank you, All-loving (God),

for uniting us.”

Ah, you remember this part. The upcoming lyrics are your favourite part since it describes your relationship with Malleus perfectly. Thus, whenever you sing that part, you always sing it full of emotions; hoping you can convey your feelings for Malleus.

“When I’m no longer by your side-”

“I will wait for you in eternity…”

Malleus was stunned into silence by your sudden intervention. After a while, he continued to sing with lips lifted into a small smile.

“Our love painting the history

Staging stories full of joy

So that any human being would know

Our love is true….”

Ah… Even now, you can still make him fall in love with you all over again.

“A colorful valley

Shaping, curving, hugging us

Two souls that melt into one

In the sanctity of love…”

Nearing the end of the song, Malleus felt your hand that he had been holding suddenly become weak.

Slowly, he moves his face away from you; gazing at your peaceful face that has entered the eternal slumber.

Like a leaking dam, all the emotions he had struggled to hold back since earlier immediately overflowed.

His tears fell uncontrollably without any sign of stopping, his chest heaved up and down, his breath suffocated, and something invisible was gnawing his heart.

Malleus could feel it.

Something inside him also disappeared along with your last breath.

“Our love painting the history

Staging stories full of joy

So that any human being would know

Our love is true….”

Nevertheless, his mouth continues to sing your song.

For all he wants is his voice to be the one to send you off to eternity.

***

I never left,

Always in your heart.

You’re never far away,

Always in my heart.

[nighttimepatrons]

ZAP!

or how Glorfindel received his Ainun powers

I've spent too much time on this silly thing

full image page under the cut

based on a silly conversion with @lordgrimwing

[sarasastra]

Jika harus mengalirkan pikiran saat ini, yang kupikir adalah; betapa ‘buntu’ dan jauh berbedanya diriku dengan dahulu.

Dahulu, aku menulis dengan cukup lancar, tenang, pemilihan diksinya lebih baik, namun sekarang rasanya cara menulisku cenderung seperti bagaimana aku bicara di dunia nyata. Bahasanya agak belepotan ketika nulis. Kadang formal kadang informal, tidak konsisten.

Rasanya sedih dan bisa kumaklumi sebetulnya. Karena aku tidak banyak mengonsumsi buku seperti dulu. Bisa dibilang dulu cukup rajin baca. Buku-buku yang meng-influence gaya menulisku itu karyanya mas Kurniawan Gunadi, Tere Liye, M Aan Mansyur, Emha Ainun Nadjib (Cak Nun), dlsb—yang lainnya aku tidak ingat.

Ketika membaca buku-buku karya mereka, entah kenapa otakku langsung terpantik untuk nulis dan tanpa sadar nge-pick up gaya menulis mereka walau isi tulisannya masih based on refleksinya aku :’)

Kalau baca tulisan-tulisan lama, sekitaran 2020 ke bawah, aku cukup kagum dengan seberapa mengalir dan seberarti itu tulisan-tulisanku. Tidak apa-apa kalau tulisan-tulisanku tidak berhasil ‘menyentuh’ hati orang lain. Yang jelas, ia masih bisa menyentuh hatiku meski dengan keadaan yang tidak sama (sudah berbeda fase).

Dipikir-pikir, fase berumahtangga khususnya untuk perempuan, sebegitu jet-lag nya ya…

Benar-benar perubahan besar dan butuh kemampuan adaptasi yang luar biasa. Kondisi batin dan mental ‘harus’ sehat, jiwa tenang, punya bekal ilmu. Keempat hal ini yang akan sangat membantu kita untuk bertahan difase motherhood.

Ketika aku bicara seperti ini, bukan berarti peran pengayoman dari suami itu kurang atau nihil. Tapi semacam ‘pasti akan terjadi’ dan dialami juga sih, khususnya untuk sebagian besar perempuan. Mungkin diluar sana ada perempuan yang merasa ‘biasa saja’ atau baik-baik aja dengan segala tantangan pasca menikah dan memiliki anak. Entah karena ia berasal dari keluarga yang pengasuhannya baik sehingga tidak memiliki luka pengasuhan didirinya, atau karena punya suami yang support segala hal & mempersiapkan sarpras terbaik untuk istrinya.

Yang jelas, perubahan besar difase tersebut tidak bisa dihindari. Harus dihadapi meski dengan berbagai ‘penurunan kualitas’ dibeberapa aspek. Termasuk aspek ibadah. Kalau aku menyebutnya mungkin lebih ke ‘futur’ kali ya.

Karena kualitas ibadah maupun kuantitasnya tidak semantap dahulu. Ada beberapa penyesuaian terhadap durasi dan waktu. Meski sebetulnya bukan berarti berkurang kesempatan ibadahnya, melainkan berubah menjadi “berbagai bentuk” dan “cara” yang nilainya sama dengan ibadah jika diniatkan demikian.

Perlu kesadaran dan keterhubungan hati antara yang dilakukan beserta niat & tujuannya.

Duh jadi kemana-mana ini aku nulisnya..

Yang jelas, saat ini kepalaku sedang berisik. Dan aku coba tenangkan dengan mengalirkan satu persatu kecemasan dan pemikiran yang bersarang lama disini. Semoga segera tersingkap kabut gelisahnya, hingga angin segar dan ketenangan itu mampir sering-sering.

Sebab.. aku butuh tenang untuk bisa mengasuh anakku dengan lebih baik.

Ia butuh Ibu yang ‘berbahagia’ dan berkesadaran dengan dirinya sendiri. Sehingga waktu cemasnya sirna dan digantikan dengan waktu yang instensif untuk mempelajari hal baru. Termasuk mempersiapkan langkah selanjutnya untuk pengasuhan & pendidikan anak dijenjang usianya.

Doakan aku teman-teman :)

Kudoakan yang terbaik dan penguatan untuk teman-teman juga!

Tangerang, 27 Oktober 2024 | 11.49 WIB