#aight i never expected the hype of this

[lodeddiperactivate]

A new kind of high (Barry x Reader)

Pairing: Barry x fem!reader

Word count: 1.6K

Warnings: smut, drugs

Summary: You have never done drugs before but decided you wanted to try it just so you can finally understand what the hype is all about.

Author’s note: I'm obsessed with Barry pls I need him to split me in half. I have a lot of Barry fics coming soon so please reblog if you enjoy this so I would know, and that would fuel this hyperfixation.

You have never done drugs before but decided you wanted to try it just so you can finally understand what the hype is all about.

"Aight princess, so what you need to do is..." Barry started explaining the basics.

You've only met him a couple of times in passing when Rafe needed supply. And even though, everyone has warned you to stay away from him, the truth is that you were intrigued, which is another way of saying you had a crush on him. You couldn't really help it when he's so flirty with you but you do know that there is a dark side to him, which is why he was not your first or second choice when you finally decided to try drugs.

"Rafe, come on, you're really saying No to this? You?"

"I'm sorry but I have to go to the mainland today for business. Why don't you ask Topper to teach you?"

"I already did but then he freaked out so I think he might rat me out to my parents. I need someone I can trust!"

"I'm sorry but I have to go now. We'll do it when I come back!"

"Yeah, in two weeks!" You called out to him as he boarded the truck with his dad. You sighed and decided to walk back home. That was when you saw Barry talking to one of the kooks, probably selling them stuff.

You stood there for a while, deciding if you want to ask him to help you out. You decided against it and started walking away when you heard him call your name.

"Oh hey Barry."

"Hi princess, is country club at home right now?"

"He just left for the mainland, won't be back until the end of the month."

"Shit, I swear that kid's gonna take a beating when he comes back."

You haven't realized it but you were now looking at the small bag of white powder in his hands. He looked down at what you were looking at.

"Saw something you like?" He said as he lifted the bag.

"Oh no, I was..." you stuttered. "Yes, err maybe?"

Barry gave a light chuckle before admiring you in your cute yellow sundress. Your innocence intrigued him but he was mostly impressed with your insane level of curiosity.

He moved closer and placed a hand on your lower back guiding you closer to his side as he whispered, "Come on, let's go back to my place and I'll teach you how," he said as if reading your mind. You obliged.

~

"Aight princess, so what you need to do is bring your nose closer like this and snort the line," after Barry showed you how it's done, it was your turn. Surprisingly it was not as bad or difficult as you thought it was.

"Good girl," he whispered in your ear. You can feel your pussy pulsate at his words. You find yourself leaning closer to him as if in a trance, wanting to close the gap between the two of you. You snapped out of it when you heard him talk.

"You alright, princess?" He had his hands on your shoulder to steady you.

"Yeah sorry, I just didn't expect the effects to be that quick," you said as he did another line. He looked at you and grinned.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just thought you were one of the good ones."

"The good ones? What's the supposed to mean? I can be bad," you tried to defend yourself.

"That's not what I meant, dollface," Barry said as he rested his arm on the back of the couch, leaning closer so that your lips are mere inches away from one another. You haven't realized it but your hand was on his knees, supporting your weight as you leaned even closer.

"I know you can be bad," his other hand pushed the hair over your shoulders as it trails down to play with the strap of your sundress. "Why don't you show me how bad you are hmm?"

You half-breathed, half-moaned his name before allowing your lips to crash on his. You were quick to reposition yourself so that you were straddling him on the couch. His hands found its way to your ass, lifting your dress along the way so that there's little fabric between your pussy and his cock. You grinded on top of him and you feel him groaned and moaned your name into the kiss.

With one quick move, he unbuckled his belt and lowered his shorts to reveal his fully erect cock. You moaned at the sight, obviously feeling the full effects of the drugs now, you instinctively got off him and on your knees ready to taste him.

"Why don't you show me what that pretty mouth can do?" His voice was like honey and you mindlessly licked him from base to tip, before sucking him fully. Barry threw his head back and grabbed your head, guiding you.

"Oh baby, you're so bad," he said encouraging you. "I bet none of the guys on your side of the town can make you feel this kind of rush huh?"

You lifted your head up to him smirking, "you have no idea how boring that side of town is."

"Hmmm you get off on a little danger huh, a little fear?" Barry said as he pulled out a gun from the back of his shorts. You froze at the sight of the gun.

"Don't worry baby, not gonna hurt ya, come here."

You straddle him and he arranged a line of coke on the flat portion of the barrel, and he held it up to your face. "Go on baby, it's gonna feel so good," he encouraged. Your mind was hazy from the first but you can feel yourself get even more wet from this whole thing. You grind on top of him, trying to feel as much as you can of him as you snorted the line on his gun. He then proceeded to lift your dress and pull your panties to the side so he can tease you by rubbing his tip at the entrance of your pussy. The knot in your stomach becomes more evident as you cannot control your whimpers, you rested your head on Barry's shoulders as he positioned himself, ready to enter you.

"It's alright princess, I got you," he said as he slowly dipped the tip inside you. You moaned his name into his ear. He couldn't believe this was happening, he had always to some extent fantasized about you but never really did anything as he thought his lifestyle was too much for you. Seeing that you were more than interested in learning all of it, he took that opportunity and eased himself even more inside you. Your walls accepted him as you feel every inch of him inside you, hitting all the right spots.

"Barry, please.." that was all he needed to bottomed himself inside you. You yelped at the impact but slowly adjusted. He was big and thick and filled you in all the right ways. You started to slowly grind on him, your hands on his chest supporting yourself. He looked up at you with hooded eyes and your head was thrown back, moaning his name again and again.

"Never thought I'd hear you moan my name like that princess. Fuck!"

You looked at him and smirked, "told you I'm not some fragile spoiled kook," you leaned in to whisper in his ears seductively, "I can take it."

"Oh yeah?" Barry grinned as he burried his nails on your hips, holding you into place, and proceeded to rail you thrusting his hips upwards so you can take more of him. You were held in place by Barry's strong grip so all you could do was hold the back of the sofa for support and another hand on Barry's chest. Your mouth was wide open and your eyes rolling from pleasure. Barry has no intention of slowing down and you were almost at your limits. Barry kept pounding you, thrusting his hips upward as he brought yours down, matching the rhythm perfectly.

"Barry, please, I'm close!"

"That's right, such a needy little slut, tell me what you want baby."

"I wanna come! I wanna come! I'm gonna come!"

"Shit, me too baby. Where do you want me to come?"

"Inside me, please, I want it. I need it!"

"Fuck!" Barry moaned as he felt you cum all over him, followed by him blowing his cum all over your insides.

You collapsed on top of him, him still inside you. You rested your head on his chest as you tried to calm your breathing. Coming down from the high, Barry let out a low hum as he stroked your back and hair, pushing it away from your face. You grinded a few times before letting him slip out of you.

You were both still breathing heavily as you sat side by side, slouched on the sofa. When you looked up at him, he had his eyes closed. He can feel you watching him.

"So how much do I owe you for the coke?" You jokingly ask.

He opened his eyes and looked at you, he had a wild grin on his face. He leaned closer so you were looking directly into his deep rich brown eyes, "Maybe I can come up with a different kind of payment method for you," he said as he planted a soft kiss on your lips.

[pysoch]

I've HAD IT up to HERE with MISCHARACTERIZATION OF MY BOOKIES in terms of RELATIONSHIPS.

What set me over the edge was JACQUES BONNEFOY.

So for tonight and tonight ONLY I'm setting aside my pride to tell MY headcanons of the mercs and what'd they do in relationships.

Mentions of nsfw because yes, I'm tired of that shit too.

===========================

Scout:

- Wants to drive hot wheels over you

- Would not boast about you as a person. He'd tell everybody else that he's dating someone hot but you're not a name-drop. His ass would not say "Oh yeah? Well I'm dating Kinsleigh!"

- Doesn't understand women. He's accidentally extremely disrespectful on occasion and doesn't understand everything immediately

- He'd take a long fucking time to apologize, too. Constantly denies he's wrong

- it's the 1950s. He expects you to do that kind of stuff, like cooking n whatever, but he's definitely more lax about it

- Would go after hard-to-get girls, not ones that instantly fall for him.

- Constantly tries to upshow other dudes and gets insecure and jealous often due to both his own self esteem and being the runt of the mercs.

- Finishes fast and isn't keen on aftercare. This sentence means exactly what you think.

Soldier:

- Goes after assertive and strong women (not even headcanon; y'all all know Zhanna).

- Would prioritize America over you, and at the very MOST would put you and the country at equal importance.

- Likes his own space when he sleeps, no he would not cuddle or anything unless you incited it

- Same thing in bed. NEVER makes the first move. He's aight though. Good enough pace ig.

- Public displays of affection are is endgame. He expects and wishes you to be just as hyped about the borderline voyeurism too. (Don't look that up. Iykyk)

- Instant lovedove. No slow burn with this fella. Sorry!

- His stuff is disorganized and he prefers if you DON'T touch it

- appreciates if you cook but no cleaning

- very very very loud and expects you to tolerate it. If you can, great for you I think

Pyro:

- idek where to begin with this guy.

- No he would not take off his mask for you after like a week of dating are you out of your mind.

- Probably wouldn't EVER take off the mask for you. Being real here.

- If you try to take anything off of him he immediately goes guns ablaze, no remorse no shits given.

- wtf do I even say about sex???? I do not see him ever taking off that flame suit, yet I will say I do counter the usual fandom belief that he's childlike and consider him in his widely headcanoned age of being 40/50. I think he's had his fair share of sexual thoughts and fantasies.

- Love language is words of affirmation. He'll mumble shit to you constantly and expect you to positively react. For you to please him I think it's best to go with gift giving.

- Absolutely mammoths level rich but doesn't use the money and doesn't give a fuck what you do with it, either.

- Wants you to be as hype about fire as he is. He would not date someone afraid of it. Sorry :3

- Extremely loud somehow. Shows you everything he likes.

Demoman:

- If his mom doesn't approve of you he'll be wary

- Expects you to respect and uphold to her standards

- If you don't like alcohol or cleaning other people's messes he isn't for you.

- Extremely intelligent and will often tell you stuff in the rare, RARE moments he's sober. If you like smart people that's an option maybe idk

- Horndog and I absolutely mean it. Bro put a sticky note on his dick. Mediocre pace but somewhat has aftercare

- snores so fucking loud you die

- Talks to eyelander and expects you to say hello, too

- Tells you stories often and you guys visit Ms. DeGroot from time to time

Heavy:

- This man can TREAT. YOU. RIGHT.

- His sisters keep him in check for you and love your company, but would also split your neck open with a spoon if you hurt Misha.

- His mom loves you if you treat family as your priority

- Would rather you know Russian, or he'd give the best lessons he could. He wants to be able to fluently speak to you like that so he comes across more clear

- no I cannot stress enough how sweet this guy would be.

- Still likes Sasha more :3

- Cleaning is meh but he hopes you're a good cook. Food is big in his family and I'm positive that's their psuedo-love-language.

- You get fur stuff a lot.

- His sisters and mom tell you embarrassing stories a lot about him

- He'd definitely at some point realllyyyy late in your relationship (perhaps waiting until marriage, even) would sit you down and talk about his dad. Extremely sensitive topic, and if you ask before or after that convo he says "For another time."

- I think he's mid at sex and real sensitive about it. Doesn't like to talk much about such stuff, more of a "if it happens" thing.

Engineer:

- lord

- Treats you right if you do the same

- still likes a lil attitude ifyk

- absolute GENTLEMAN when he needs or wants to be

- doesn't talk to you about the mercs n shit, but will definitely yap about his machines

- huge factor in if he likes you is a test on how you treat/react to Pyro

- uses southern innuendos often and will explain them if you're confused

- family is big for him, too, and he often talks to you about having a son who could take the Connagher(??) last name

- pretty good in bed but loud. Very loud. And says corny stuff. One of the best when it comes to aftercare though

- works hard, and often overworks until he's exhausted and needs to be told to stop

- doesn't like being told to stop but will never raise his voice at a lady

- likes reading and wants you to read with him too so y'all have a tiny book club

- very sentimental

- better be a good cook. Cleaning is also appreciated but eh

Medic:

- I cannot explain to y'all how BADLY this man is mischaracterized in EVERYTHING.

- Massive dork. He is not a smooth talker, he is not a sultry and mysterious man. He yaps often, and it lasts long.

- No inside voice most of the time

- His doves over you ANY day.

- I mean this sincerely and as someone who is an avid Medic-lover; he would be a terrible partner.

- Work is prioritized over you, but he's not the type to stay up super duper late unless it's extremely important. He at one point (supposedly) had a degree, I think he'd know how to take care of himself

- blind as a bat without those tiny ass glasses

- no fr why are they so small?

- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP MAKING HIM UNBEARABLY HORNY. IT DRIVES ME MAD. IT DRIVES ME INSANE. I WANT TO RIP OUT MY HAIR. MY LONG, LUSCIOUS, LIGHT BROWN HAIR.

- he is NOT constantly horny. He is NOT good in bed. He is fifty, he is aging, he is tired, the most you'll get out of this fucker is missionary or riding. That's IT. STOP. STOP MAKING HIM A VIAGRA-INDUCED SEX DEMON. STOP IT. PLEASE.

- HE DOESN'T EVEN MAKE MUCH NOISE EITHER AND HIS AFTERCARE IS PASSING OUT ON TOP OF YOU. THAT'S IT. THATS. IT.

- NOT A POWER BOTTOM, NOT A SADISTIC TOP, HE'S LITERALLY JUST THERE. HE'LL TRY BUT ITS NOT ANYTHING CLOSE TO YOUR SICKENING MINDS.

- ok

- doesn't care if you know German or not and whenever you ask for the definition of words he's saying he'll just brush it off

- often shushes you.

- don't touch his stuff

- heavily appreciates you doing laundry, helping with work, getting food, and straightening up, but again doesn't like you touching his stuff without permission

- during operations you are OUT of the ward. No questions asked.

- travelholic.

Sniper:

- you're getting nothing from this man

- I am so sorry but it's true

- lone guy.

- for the sake of this let's say by some gold given chance he wants you or whatever;

- better like piss being around

- contrary to popular belief, I think he'd be a talker. Voice lines, comics, etc show he's quiet when he's sniping n such or whatnot, but he still talks a fair amount and throws a lot of slang around whether you know it or not.

- don't bother him while he's working at all.

- where the hell did the belief come from that he'd like fuck you in an outpost or whatever have y'all given your brain to Satan he'd never fucking do that

- insomniac

- not a cuddler. Sleeps fetal.

- in fact I don't think he'd be a guy for sex at all. Sure maybe he'd get in the mood or whatever but it'd be kinda gross I don't think he's a frequent showerer or anything like that

- two pairs of clothes don't touch them

- cooking is mid he likes doing his own stuff

- van smells. It's uncomfortable.

Spy:

- not named something stupid

- firmly believe you would also have absolutely no shot with him whatsoever but for the sake of whatever sure let's imagine you're scouts mom or something

- doesn't take of that goddamned balaclava like ever

- maybe to sleep or to shower but that's all you're getting

- sentimental, love language is gift giving but he likes being told words of affirmation

- speaks with sprinkled French and metaphors all the time and that's bound to get annoying real fast

- not keen on telling you personal details or stories but will somewhat eagerly listen to yours

- he goes for insane chicks. Definitely.

- better like nicotine and cigar smoke

- doesn't listen if you tell him the health costs (again, 1950s)

- loves receiving your cooking and cleaning is very very appreciated

- very much likes spending time with you but also with that border of professionalism vs personal life

- I can't believe I have to say this but he would abandon you in an instant if you were pregnant or whatever. This is a squared situation.

- mediocre in bed definitely doesn't like to admit he's not in control but let's be real he'd rather someone else do the heavy work

- not anything to do with what I just said but his legs are so skinny it's hilarious he's built like a preschool project

==================

SIGH.

This was somewhat mid to write because I'm an extreme asexual and dislike sex but its gotten so bad I can't read any fanfic anymore without immediately wanting to twist my nose into my skull.

Love y'all! And again this is my personal opinions n shit. Do whatever the hell you want.

[kosi-annec]

[HAIKYUU!!] Season 2 episode 24

COME ON KARASUNO!! I am staying up late for this shit!

He absolutely adjusted it intentionally, he saw that shit and made the best out of it

Hhhh these back to back points give me hype and anxietyyy

Omg yahaba's on field, and mad dog's keepin an eye on him! Idk bout yall but my shipper goggles are on rn

Ok seijo got a point, BUT LOOK AT THOSE TWO! LOOK AT HOW HAPPY YAHABA IS AT MAD DOG! Gsap he adjusted himself to make yahaba's set work. I know these two are like side chars and bg chars respectively BUT HEAR ME OUT. Shipped romantically or not, they'd be good friends

Aight back to the game. 18-19 SHIT COME ONE KARASUNO

YES HINATA!! And damn that slide!

God it's like the show heard me or something, i asked to have these 2 interact more and they did, even if briefly. Will probably never see yahaba again next season, but hey it is wat it is

I kinda like these scenes of showing us the reactions of the ppl outside the game watching it. I kinda forgot that there were other ppl watching the game ngl

OH SHIT ANIMATION STYLE CHANGED- BUT IT WASN'T ENOUGH TO STOP THE CROWS!

OMFG HSKSHS TADASHI IS ON PLAY!! START UP ANOTHER STREAK MY BOI

Shit- it almost got him again! COME ON SAVE TADASHI'S SERVE!! SHIT- dammit no! Iwa why are you so good

HHHH oh boi oikawa's serving. SHIT IT'S THE COOL ANIMATION- FUCK SEIJO ONLY NEEDS ONE POINT, COME ON CROWS!!

Ok but how the camera lagged behind a bit when oikawa served? Idk but that was neat, like it just cemented how important this shit is

FUCK YES DAICHI!! KARASUNO'S GOT THE POINT, JUST 2 MORE!

Gsap sugamama is in play! Time for some double setters

LMAO omg "why u trying to pick a fight with hinata rn" i recognize this scene from yt compilations

AAAA HINATA SAW MAD DOG! LETS FUCKIN GOOO! But is kage ok that was a collision, I'm now very scared of any collisions that happen after deadchi

OH SHIT- GOOD SAVE SUGA!

AHA! A FUCKIN SETTER DUMP GET JUKED!! NO ONE WAS EXPECTING THAT!

Oh shit oikawa was so fuckin desperate that animation style changed holy crap. UHHH iwa might wanna check up on your bf

Huh? Wait oikawa's met old coach ukai?? But, he never went to karasuno right?? HUH??? I feel like i missed something

Oikawa spitting facts rn. You yourself are your 1st and no.1 supporter. If you don't even believe in yourself to be able to do something, then u won't ever be able to do it. Talent isn't handed to you on a silver platter after all

MAKE IT A GOOD ONE SUGA! ALL CHIPS ARE DOWN NOW! SETTER SWITCH, COME ON!!

HOLY SHIT OIKAWA?! A SET FROM THAT FAR?!? OH FUCK- DUDE IS HIS BACK OK???

DAICHI AAAAA- OMFG TANKA!!! HOLY SHIT ASAHI- OMG ITS ON SEIJO'S SIDE OF NET

HSKSGSJS MAD DOG- OK SOMEONE JUST TAKE THE POINT ALREADY I CAN'T HANDLE THIS

SUGA HOLY SHIT ARE YOU OK?!?

AAAA SPECIAL ATTACK, PLS DON'T BE LIKE LAST TIME! OH FUCK OIKAWA-

... they won.. Omg they won. KARASUNO FUCKING WON!! LETS GOOO!!! I NEED TO REWATCH THAT ROUND AGAIN

Holy shit, omg, ok someone pls get the boys checked by a nurse or something. Oikawa hit his back hard on a table, suga got hit square in the face by a volleyball, get these two setters a nurse please

[toukatan]

Zeke x Pieck do be cute tho 👀❤️ What got you liking them in the first place Beni?

omg honestly i didn’t even expect jikupiku to get any attention because i literally thought i was the only person out here that found them pretty cute and it’s a lowkey pairing so i didn’t expect y’all to be down with it too agshhsjs

tbh there’s just a lot of little things that made me side eye: chapter 99 pieck made me eye this and i was like mm perhaps she has a type, lads with facial hair, aight imma yeet outta here

and this too, same chapter. idk im fond of seeing interactions like this even in irl when someone’s being cute with kids and zeke’s smol as heck smile here made me go okay might have to stan

zeke being the biggest hype man around like pieck is never wrong in this dudes mind istg it makes me laugh

and their reactions to each other’s “deaths” cause the amount of times they’ve seen one another almost die y’all

also there was this little doujinshi i stumbled upon on my ktwt where it was based on chapter 130 where jaegerbros are talking about feelings and things ya know? and zeke thinks about pieck while eren thinks about mikasa i can find it if y’all like but it’s just a page and i can translate it for y’all but that about sums up a bit of why i kinda like like jikupiku and imma go in hiding now ilysm 👉🏻👈🏻

[bloominstorm]

Takemichi is so focused in this battle he didn’t even get hype about laying Kaku out, things bouta be real different in this fight

[flying-nimbus-cloud]

Aight Peter Maximoff stans, I want to point out some plot holes and unanswered questions about "Ralph Bohner"

WandaVision Spoilers:

(I am in currently listening to Sweet Dreams/80s music while writing this very drunk, determined and in immense denial. 😁🤘)

(Pls read, my drunk smol brain worked hard on dis 😘👉👈)

Ralphs name. Why doesn't Ralph Bohner have a hex name and a real name? Unless "Pietro" was essentially his hex name. But I truly believe that Wanda unintentionally or otherwise wouldn't name some random civilian "Pietro", right? Like how Sarah was named Dottie at random, wouldn't that be the case for Ralph also? From what was shown it made it out to seem he's called Ralph Bohner in and out of the hex.

From episode 1-5 Agatha spoke about Ralph like he was her husband for some reason. Why did he only appear in episode 5 if she had Ralph under her control to use to her benefit from the very beginning? It's just odd.

Agatha's abilities. Agataha had shown Wanda that can perform illusions(like how she turned a bug into a bird). So... why didn't she make Ralph look like Wandas brother if she can make illusions? Especially after going through the trouble of picking a guy that acts nothing like Wandas brother and giving him powers? Agathas power scale confuses me so much.

Why did Wanda recognize Ralph Bohner when he showed up at her door? The explanation "Cause magic" would feel so cheap. I seriously don't understand this. Wanda despite her fragile mindset would be like, "Who are you? You don't look like my brother. You don't act like him. He's dead(Wanda definitely knows that internally.) The only thing you both have in common is the superpowers. Y'all move fast." Now if it was Peter Maximoff from another universe I'd assume that Wanda can sense he's her sort-of brother but not really. Almost like somethings a little off....at least that's what I thought, but nope. He's a random person apparently, so there isn't that instinctual connection. So then why the recognition at all?

The alarm. In episode 5 right when Ralph appears at Wandas door some random ass alarm goes off at Swords base outside the hex. Why?? Peter Maximoff fans and myself thought that was him possibly entering the hex somehow. But apparently not...so what was that exactly?? Of course that was never explained.

Ralphs superspeed. So, y'all telling me that Agatha had not only forcibly put a necklace on Ralph to control him to be her "eyes and ears" BUT ALSO gave him LITERAL superpowers?? All of that is completely glossed over. Mf at Marvel will probably say, "Cause Magic" smh.

Jimmys missing guy. There's unfortunately a lot to debunk this theory, but I could still see it being a possibility. Jimmy along with Monica and Darcy all saw the TV when Ralph was on it, but Jimmy never said a word. An interesting point though is the fact that this witness protection person was never brought up again, which is really fucking weird. More shit left unanswered. Could it be "Ralph"? We don't know.

The house. Ralph Bohner is supposedly a struggling actor. At least that's the explanation many have said is the reason as to why he has a random headshot of himself laying about his man cave. But then how does he live in that big ass family home? Plus that house ain't actually Agathas, she came into WestView looking for Wanda to find answers about the hex. That wasn't originally her house. With Ralph looking like the broke ass himbo he is...how could he afford to live there if he supposedly lived as a civilian in that town to begin with??? Make this make sense lol.

Ralph chuckled at his name. Aight aight I know this is a stretch, but hear me out; If you had a dumbass name that sounded weird, you'd probably be used to people making fun of it or saying it wrong, right? You'd maybe even get tired of hearing the silly name your entire life. But when Monica said Ralphs name, he chuckled like one would at their silly fake name and not their real name. That's at least how my dumbass would react to someone saying a funny name I choose for myself. And honestly "Ralph Bohner" truly sounds like a name that Peter would choose lol. Unless WandaVisions writing team said, "Evan, we want you to laugh at your name like you've never heard anyone pronounce Bohner like Boner before." Or maybe Ralph didn't know his own name because he was under Agathas control still...or something.

Why "Ralph Bohner"? K so lets just say we all accept that they stunt casted Evan Peters and he is and always will be a nobody named Ralph Bohner. Marvel knew- no, knows that fans of Evan Peters Quicksilver and the X-Men would get hyped up bout him when they made that glorious reveal in episode 5. So they really dragged that expectation out for 3 weeks, to leave it off on a dick joke? Nah, Marvel/Disney can't be that stupid right?....right?

They gave us some hope and hefty amount of evidence(that isn't listed all here) that Ralph could be Peter Maximoff because of some Multiverse shenanigans....

But then they left it like...this?

Tis very strange of Marvel to think people wouldn't notice how they kinda, sorta baited fans if left like this.

I literally had no crazy theories for this entire show, everything Marvel I take with stride with almost zero expectations...then my boy Evan Peters showed up and my ass finally had some hope to see my comfort character make an appearance in the MCU...which ironically ended in a dick joke. The universe said, "Nah fam, you can't hope for shit lol 🤡"

Anyways, I'd like if this could give some evidence to those still willing to believe that Ralph Bohner is Peter Maximoff. With so many unanswered questions and plot holes with his character, it just feels wrong for him to be nobody...y'know?

Also I'm sorry if this gives you false hope lol.

Love y'all, Peter Maximoff stans are sweet as heck. 💕

[katsukikitten]

Aight yall know the rules. 18 PLUS. Minor DNI, this was written for and helped to be dreamed up by @kingkatsuki who is always down to simp over Bakugou with me. Drummer!Bakugou x kindagroupy fem reader. Warnings include lots of smut and impact play. 💋🐱

Welts and bruises were hardly seen beneath the black swirling ink that snaked from a thick wrist all the way up a banded arm to nestle itself just barely over a normally guarded heart. Your fingers grip at drumsticks as you look over a certain hot head, unsure of your relationship status other than the fact that he used you to bring himself down from the height of the show. 

Just like he did a month ago at a meet and greet. Glaring at your stupid rare band shirt that featured him instead of his band mates. "No one gives a fuck about the drummer. It's why I'm the fucking drummer so I don't have to deal with mindless extras."  

To be honest it was his first time seeing that shirt since production, signing all 70 in existence half heartedly. You recall how agitated he was, obviously forced to this meet and greet when normally there were rumors that he never shows. He twirls his drumstick in his large fingers to keep from exploding as Kirishima, Jiro and Denki entertain the snobby VIPs. You had been lucky enough to win your ticket in a radio drawing and even though Bakugou wasn't talking much, not that you expected him too, it was nice to be there. 

Nice to have his garnet gaze cutting into your skin even if it was just harsh glares. It takes Kirishima a minute to figure out just why Bakugou hasn't left yet. His own glistening rubies roaming the small group of five until they land on you. The devil settles himself in Kirshima's skin as he stands, a rare and cocky smirk adornes his lips. He sits next to you, practically on top of you and your cheeks flush from the closeness of your second favorite band mate. You can smell the linger sweat from the show, musk and dark pine needles tickle your nose as you swallow desire whole. Choking just a bit as he leans closer. His calloused digits finger the hem of your shirt, pulling it away from your body a bit to inspect it more closely. 

"Ah, that's a sight to see." He chuckles, eyeing the shirt that has a shirtless Bakugou in action, sticks raised as he sits over his precious drum set, "This is from one of our first real gigs." 

"I know. The drumming interlude while Jiro rested her strained voice was so energizing. After that amazing show I had to buy a t-shirt of my favorite member! But they didn't have any at the show. It was hard finding this." Suddenly Bakugou's gaze becomes too much, leaving you feeling hot and bothered as the room seemed to smell like spiced caramel. What little ease you felt by Kirishima was devoured by the brooding blonde sitting on his throne of well worn leather. Gulping, you turn to face Kirishima a bit more as he chuckles again. 

"You don't want sour puss as your favorite. How about I make you a deal huh?" The room goes a little quiet as the other VIPs feign interest to hear. After a moment you nod a bit nervously fighting to keep your gaze on Kirishima. Meanwhile Bakugou tongues his lip ring with irritation.

"Why don't we trade shirts? I'll give you mine for yours?" He says, large hand gripping at the fabric at the nape of his neck. Pulling it off in one swift motion, setting it gently in your hands. The fabric a bit damp from the show, tingling pine masks your senses as you grip at the black fabric. 

Would it be rude to turn down a rock star? 

Just as you're about to find out the blonde stands, all eyes wide and set on his godly figure. His abs peeking out from beneath his infamous sleeveless and tattered black denim vest. 

The same one you wore now. You remember how he dragged you from the room and showed you just exactly who your favorite band member. Not knowing he played right into Kirishima's hand. 

Even now he still gets possessive when Kirishima comes too close. Pushing the guitarist and side vocals harshly away as Bakugou comes to close to you, cornering you against a sidewall backstage. 

"Hey Brat. Are you flirting with fire engine again?" His face says pissed but his tone is all tease. He nips at your ear before gripping your hair to tilt your head, exposing your neck to him. He licks a stripe up the column relishing how you taste before leaving a gasp inducing bite. Pink indents and a beautiful bruise bloom in his wake. Absentmindedly his thumb swipes over the mark gently. 

"Did you hurt yourself Suki?" You ask softly, hands having discovered just how raised those welts were. He watches the worry stain your features, pulling your bottom lip into a delightful pout. He leans down to your face, pulling at the jutting lip and giving it a small bite. Your skin erupts in heat, surging through your body until it settles in between your legs.  He pulls back, giving you his signature arrogant smirk. 

"Oi, don't get so worked up Princess. I'll show you how I got them after this set." He takes the drumsticks from your grip giving you a final, searing kiss before he makes his way on stage. Always the first to get the crowd hyped up as everyone else got situated. 

Anyone who had seen the same set of songs performed twice weekly for a month might have used the word bored to describe how they were feeling as they waited for the band to finish. 

But you were not like most people, see these 90 minutes that sometimes stretched into two hours was equivalent to a strip tease for you. Always having to shift your weight with the passing of each song, trying to get some friction for the heat that he caused at your core. His ash blonde hair would become darker, losing his spiky nature as it drooped from the weight of caramel scented bliss, the stands sticking to his skin causing him to push it back, exposing his forehead. His black shirt would darken as well, agitating the hot head as it clung to his muscles, sticking to skin and trying to throw off his rhythm. Between a song he places one of his drumsticks in his mouth, letting his large hand tear at the shirt until he can shed it off as if it were a second skin. 

The crowd always roars with excitement as the camera zooms in on him. On his dark eyes and glistening pecs. The ink of his arms and just barely over his pectorals sends a jolt of electricity through you, mouth salivating as you remember them hovering over you the night before. 

You clench around nothing, underwear becoming uncomfortable in your pleated skirt as you pull the well worn denim closer to you as you wait. 

Finally the show ends with Jiro giving all of her love to the crowd, to Kirishima and Denki rifting notes off of corded strings as Bakugou guides them with his ever steady beat. Slamming onto the symbols, foot bass and the drums, sweat flying from him as he moves. 

"Until we meet again!" They scream and the crowd echoes back their famous saying. 

Bakugou practically runs off stage, damp with caramel bliss as he rushes to you. Hunched over so he can scoop you up, giving you a twirl as he hoisted you into the air. Banded arms resting under your ass. 

"Did you see me out there, kitten?" His voice is rasped as he pants, laced in rare and genuine excitement. His skin sticking to your skirt and shirt as he brings you down to your black converse. He kisses you hungrily, gasping between kisses trying to catch his breath as he clings onto you with shaking fingers. 

"I'm always watching, king." You reply between swipes of his tongue. 

"Skipping the meet and greet again Bakugou? Manager Todoroki won't be happy." Kirishima comments, his voice softer than normal, his own dyed hair sticking to his skin. 

"Fuck him. It's an hour from now anyway dick head. I'll be in later." Bakugou growls back, as you push hair from his face to better see his eyes and his forehead. He lifts your giggling form again as he takes you back to his room. 

Neither of you hear Kirishima's comment to Jiro. 

"Have you ever seen him so in love?" 

The darkness of the room and the smell of you are soothing to Bakugou, his body still a live wire from the show as he tries to get a second wind so he can please you. He knows what his performance does to you, having come back to you soaking through your panties. Just as you were now, still his endurance was tested this week with three shows in a row. 

"Maybe you should-" 

"No." It comes out as a growl as he slowly begins to strip you of your clothes. Leaving you in nothing but his favorite skirt, he pushes you to lean over the futon, flipping up your skirt so he can see your bare sex. 

"God you're such a dirty slut." He sees your sex and thighs glistening with your slick, he lets his fingers collect your essence before swirling over that sensitive bud. 

"F...fuck Katuski." You cry out, hips bucking against him already before he leans over your body, his hard on poking your through his black jeans. 

"Still wanna see how I got these bruises baby?" He pants, even fingering you was taking effort but he wanted, needed to see you panting, begging beneath him. 

"Y..yes yes please!" His fingers still working as he's pressed against you, the coil in your stomach snapping as you see stars. Shaking beneath him as he puts you through two more. Slick pulling away from your sex in strings causing him to lick his fingers dry, holding eye contact with you as you shudder. 

Eye liner already starting to smudge as your mouth falls open into a mewl. He reaches for the wooden sticks in his back pocket. He removes one, the stick nicked and scuffed in various spots from the intensity of tonight's show.  He rubs your ass with his large palm before letting a harsh smack land on your supple cheek. Repeating the process until your cheeks glowed bright red. He lets the smooth wood run across your burning ass before he tests it with a light whack. Trying to remember how it felt against his own skin wanting to keep the damage at a minimum.  The precise impact causes you to jolt and whine. 

"More, I need more." You cry again and again as he let's the wood impact on your tender cheeks. Alternating sides while rubbing where he just hit  

"Yea? Such a greedy slut." Getting lost in your begging he brings down the drumstick a little too harshly, his mind hazed from the lingering show and from the pull of you. The stick snaps in half causing a bruising welt to rise at an alarming rate. Growling he tosses the stick aside, coming down to kiss and bite at your ass tenderly. You push your hips in the air. 

"Katsuki, baby. Please, please fuck me." You beg as tears fall down your perfect cheeks. 

"Fine, but." He pants slowly freeing himself as he lets the head of his cock stretch your sentence, "But only to cockwarm." 

"Noooo!" You whine, squirming as he plunges himself into your velvety walls, already setting a slow pace just to feel you clench against him if anything. 

"Please, please King. I want more. I need you to fill me, Katsuki, please." 

"I'll fucking give it to you brat." He snaps, the sight of you was too much.  Peering over your shoulder, eye liner smeared, hair sticking to your face as your mouth formed that perfect O. He throws caution to the wind and gives in to instinct, to you. 

He sets a harsh pace, his body shaking from exertion as he pounds into you with sloppy haste. Being much more vocal than usual as he grunts and groans allowing your tight cunt to pull him in. The sounds of your arousal echoes through the room as your feet come off the floor, squeezing your thighs around Bakugou to keep him close. Slowly you become limp letting him fuck into you before tensing as he hits that damned spongy spot. Causing stars to catch in your vision and the sounds of his groaning send you over the edge. 

"I'm gonna-" But you never finish it as a scream rips up your throat causing your voice to go hoarse. Your spasming cunt sends the hot head into a groaning tangent. His hips pistons into your soaking heat sloppily before they stutter. His hands gripping at your hips, body shaking the way yours normally does after a heavy session. He pants your walls in ropes of delicious hot cum, the action causing you to whimper.

In what feels like too a short time to Bakugou but the perfect amount to you, he withdrawals from you. Watching you twitch as his seed slips out. Gently he pushes it back in, before gathering some on his digits determined to make you cum a few more times until he is ready to go again.

Bucking and crying trying to squeeze your thighs to shut him away but he spreads you out until his fingers pull something special from you. Body so tense that if touched wrong you might shatter. 

And shatter you do as a silent scream escapes your lips, a clear liquid squirting onto his inky arm and black clothes.

"Ah, kitten I wanted you to squirt on my cock." He coos, rubbing slow sensual circles to bring you down slowly. Rubbing your ass, sure to check on your battered cheek, damning himself for losing control. He lifts you up, turning you to face him as you cling to him, arms crushing him to your smaller frame. 

"You okay Princess?" He asks, peppering kisses atop your head causing tears to burn your eyes. You choke out the question you had been meaning to ask since that first night. 

"What am I to you?" Your voice shakes as badly as your body, as if you were freezing from a chill. He tenses beneath you and you think you've crossed the line. Before you can backtrack he pushes you away from him to grab your chin. Leveling your face to his as he stares into your soul. 

"My fucking everything." He growls out, voice worn from overuse, "How else can I show you?" 

His thumb wipes away a few stray tears as you process what he has said. 

"I gave you my lucky vest didn't I?" You giggle at his question, nodding in agreement. He pulls you into a hug, eyes glaring at the clock. 

"Stay." He commands rushing to the sink to dampen a rag in warm water. He starts with your face, clearing it of the black eye liner. Slowly making his way down your body until he gets to your sticky sex. Wiping away his essence and yours before pressing a soft kiss to your hair line. He tosses the rag into the sink and rummages through your duffle bag returning with the shirt that started it all. A kiss is pressed to the black fabric before he slips over your head, sliding his lucky vest onto your strong shoulders before he adjusts your skirt. Twirling you in a mock dance to check for stains on your skirt, when he sees none he dresses himself pressing a water into your hand. You bite your lip thinking he's going to leave you here. 

"Sorry but you gotta come with me to the meet and greet since you've got this on." He tugs at the black denim causing you to giggle. Relief floods his aching body as your lips curl into a bright smile. 

True to his word Bakugou slips into the long meet and greet with you in tow an hour and a half after he started. 

"Here's your fucking sticks kid." He says, shoving a set of drumsticks into some snobby kids hands. The man scoffs with a retort. 

"I paid for the ones you used tonight. These ones are brand new." 

Bakugou narrows his eyes at him, leaning in close as if you share a secret but he speaks at a normal volume. His face suddenly changing to a cocky, knowing smirk. 

"Guess I broke tonight's pair kid. Tough fucking luck."

He sits in his normal spot, away from others. Pulling you onto his lap, reminding the room that he was taken. 

[may-tine]

Someone who has never watched TMNT Rise reacts to the movie

@gauntletknight​ this is for you

so the last tmnt anything i watched was the 1990 live action film and the 2003 cartoon, when i was like 7? so we are off to a great start, but lets get into it

hey what, why are we in hell

okay wow Casey is here already i remember him

hey MIKEY??? WHAT im sorry does leo have a metal arm?

are we opening with time travel WHAT

WHY IS CASEY JONES FROM THE FUTURE.WASNT HE JUST SOME PUNK FROM NEW YORK?

I just watched a man die.

things keep happening and i cant put my thoughts down- oh i JUST WATCHED ANOTHER MAN DIE

alright pausing for half a sec to get thoughts down, this is a wild opening, tho i guess for a movie you need some higher stakes then a normal show. Im pretty sure the normal show is more classic turtle hijinks. aight back to it

actaully whats the krang? was that in the original? Are we going to see shredder?

oop yep classic teenage turtle hijinks

now i dont remember much but i remember Donnie and Leo being kinda hard to distinguish personality wise. Im glad they put some further characterization on them both

Mikey is somehow more childish?  but like in a babyish way

oh yeah Raph is the leader this time around.

okay so the magic thing is already established in the show, and Shredder has been dealt with?

oh buddy

WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE RANDOS?

I think Donnie was always tech but was he always THIS tech? Damn son

music is super funky

Eyy foot clan! wait these are shredders guys arnt they?

Raph is still mostly angry but hes like, softer. and WHY IS LEO BEING SUCH AN ASS! is he always like this?

Rat dad! We Love splinter

this version of casey is so weird compared to what im used too, i dont hate him tho

yoo wait thats April? APRIL STEALS?

Yo  have they been training her as a ninja as well? good for her- APRIL DONT STEAL RANDOM CHEMICALS

Oh this is begging to go wron- yep

this entire interrogation scene is amazing

Okay i do adore this casey

shit is it really like, too late, too late?

god this krang thing is heking creepy why are they blocks

OH THE MAGICS OFF, right after i noticed April had magic too

oof Splinters out cold

Do they have a pod for casey? ok yeah- oh leo no

wha

hey waat the fucK? RAPH?

oh god the you survived banner is about to NOT be funny

nooo hes turning on casey

oh god the powers are still gone

Raph isnt captured... is he?

COMMANDER?

oh he is captured, kinda surprised there

ah hostage situation got it- HEY WHAT THEY FUCKKKKK

AHHHHH?????? bye foot clan

same mikey

AHHHHH HIVE MIND

oh caseys about to ruin the mood

or hype them up

oh no reveals are being delayed

GOD  this is horrifying isnt this a kids show?

HEY LEO I THINK THEY SAW YOU COMING!

APRIL HAS A MOTORCYCLE YESSSS (did she have that orginally? maybe?)

Im worried how single minded Leo is getting about this, but at the same time, i get it.

THEY POSSESSED A TRAIN???

SOFT SHELL? oh your kidding

Oh god dont possess the tank

APRIL NO- oh, april yess

Ive never been so scared of a train in my life

WHY IS THIS A STRAIGHT UP HORROR????

WHY DID SHE STEAL SO MANY????

Casey with the call out!- oh not like that kiddo no

yep like cops will do anything- WHY ARE THEY GOOP LIKE THAT, Its too fleshy my guy.

Casey what was that smirk?  Did you do this on purpose?

Mickey with the mystic hands stuff worries me cuase is LITERALLY KILLED HIM

oh the triangulation scene ive seen this

oh no

oh raph is not going to be raph once hes out of there is he

AH I HATE BEING RIGHT

WAIT I THINK I SAW FANART OF THIS EARLIER TODAY I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME AU

WE ARE HITTING FINAL HOUR SHIT AND ITS ONLY HALF WAY THROUGH THE MOVIE????

god krang raph is so spooky

HEEY FAM? HEY TMNT FANS??? ARE YOU GUYS GOOD??? i was not expecting such levels of cosmic horror 

wait why does a turtle have eyebrows?

god the krang possessed tech is the worst, horrific,OH GOD WHAT IF THE TURTLE TANK.

shout out to Donnie having a step counter, same buddy.

i do enjoy the art style

oh why he sound like that

god the animation on krang raph is upsetting

I do adore this mikey as well, i was thinking i wouldnt liked this take on ‘immature’ but hes growing on me

OH NOOO DOnnie no dont do it oh god the goop

guys WTF

GUYS WTF

I DONT LIKE DONNIE IN THERE

AHH THAT EYE

WTFWTFWTFWTF

Hello?? am i about to cry over turtles??

MYSTIC POWERS!!!!!! What about the power cancel?

oh yeah B team. Love that Aprils first idea is dropping a building on somthing

AHHH THATSD A BEAM THROUGH AN EYE AAA, like its an alien but ye

YOOOO MIKEYYYY JUST THROWS A BUILDING

Oh this is so sick

yeee the anti power stuff or not? they still work?

Leo damn it dont do the self sacrificial shit YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT SCREWED YOU UP WHEN RAPH DID IT

hot moment to appreciate the Krang mechs, great monster designs

HAHA PORTAL FUCKERY

Casey my boy ; _ ;

oh god it ended on a portal chop

whats he holdin- NOOOOOOO DONT DO THAT TO ME

ONE OF THEM IS STILL ALIVE AHHH

MIKEY NO DONT HURT YOURSELF

HES CRACKING- THEY ALL ARE AHH

WAIT THIS IS GONNA LET KRANG BACK IN

QUICK SAVE YEAAAAA

ive only been to new york once whats wrong with Staten island

Casey gets pizza!!!

WHo the hek is Cassandra- UH OH

oh this ending song is a banger

WELL That was a lot of fun and SUPER DARK WHAT. At least I get the hype now. I dont know if ill start the actual series but I will be rooting for a s3 for all the fans

[void-inked-pen]

Pen Rants About Fantasy BNHA Fics For Too Long

Aight people, I'm sharing the same thoughts on here I did on twitter but with more to add because twitter won't let me rant long like I can on here.

its "pen talks at length about fantasy au's and fanon around said established au's" so I'm a huge nerd for fantasy au's if the original story isn't fantasy and I'm even MORE a nerd for it if one of those characters becomes a shapeshifter or something. With BNHA it already has a kind of canon au where horikoshi literally made a fantasy au ending sequence and I remember all the hype for it back when it came out and that love for it resurfaced recently because... again... I'm a nerd for it.

But one thing i've noticed fantasy fics do often is they kinda just... don't do the leg work with what it means to make a whole new world with magic and lore. they just assume the reader will read "oh they're a fae" or "oh they're a dragon" and get it which... pls dont do. There's a lot of fun that can be had figuring out legistics of how magic and creatures look and work and I get it if that isnt your cup of tea but if you have a fantasy world... you gotta usually do some extra work with it.

So fanon has this thing with bnha where whenever they write certain characters, they kinda automatically are always the same across the board in various fics. which is fine, I appreciate consistent headcanons, but when it comes to PORTRAYING those headcanons... I get bored. There are only 2 FICS (if you wanna know which I can toss them your way) that I have read for fantasy au which both actually do leg work for the world and put thought into how these characters work and out of the literal thousands (over half just being plain boring smut because they are just weird and horny) it bums me out.

One thing that seriously gets stunted is Bakugou as a barbarian which... what would that mean in a fantasy world? not many fics go into that but they def go into it more frequently than some of the other concepts. I just think there's more that can be messed with there. Like, what kind of culture did he grow up in? how did he meet Deku? did they still grow up with each other and if they did how? are they from the same villiage? Horikoshi's art makes it seem like they were born in different cultures, so how would they have met? would their interactions still be the same if they didn't grow up together? there are a LOT of questions to be asked with interactions I think

It's even WORSE with kirishima tho. He is a dragon in some fics, part dragon in others, but they hardly ever go into the logistics of what that means for him. They never touch on his culture or how people treat him or ANY ANGST and as an angst lover with my favs it suuuuucks. Kiri in general has hardly any well-written long-form angst and I'm starved for that kinda content. Also, when people write dragon Kiri they always, ALWAYS introduce him to Bakugou by him somehow being captured (I wrote him that way too but its mainly for a specific situation to happen and a scene that's been stuck in my head for ages now so I'm calling myself out) but then, they do that to him and expect him to... what be fine afterwards? Tangent but not many people write good angst for my boy and I'm DEPRIVED.

but anyway, I think there's more that can be done with some of these concepts. like if Kiri is a dragon, would he still breathe fire? If so, how would he use it? if not, why/how does he work? Can he shapeshift willingly or is he forced to or does he need outside assistance like a ritual or something? is his hardening just his scales, in which case if he's in dragon form and has his hardening magic is that just a special ability he can do to make his scales harder? there's a lot about shapeshifting that can be messed with as well! (both those fics i mentioned before have major consequences if Kiri doesn't shapeshift frequently and I love it).

In general, I feel like people see the au with these characters and just don't think of the nuances and it bugs me. And then the fandom also has fanon about it and some of the tropes are tired... so I started thinking about scenes around fantasy au and ye a lot of what I'm deciding to do with it isn't really... how I normally do it. like there's thought into what I'm imagining because it's me we're talking about but world-building I'm leaving a bit up in the air and to be interpreted however.

anyway, thanks for coming to my Rant-talk lol, if you have fantasy au fics that are long form, arn't constant smut, have kiri or bakugou angst and good world building I'd love to hear recs. the two fics I was talking about are:

the (I think discontinued) fic Blood Of My Hand by PurplePersnicety - its about Kiri being captured by humans and possibly sold but his fire got locked away and he can't shapeshift, while an exiled Bakugou is a barbarian who has a problematic goal and the two make a blood pact to try and help the other and then shit hits the fan And the currently still updating fic, Wandering Home by Milligramme - Kirishima was raised in a human town and told to hide his beastly traits when one loud blonde shows up, tries to steal and then eat said stolen lemons before the two decide to travel together and help Bakugou return home and Kirishima figure out what he is.

(links are being weird so i could only add the link on "home" on the second one idk why)

[redwayfarers]

Aight I’m having some feelings once more about my bastard son (affectionate) and I wanna yell them here.

I know we’re in the very start of the story as I’m writing this so I’m quite sure we’ll end somewhere different than expected development-wise since it’s OCs and OCs rarely if ever listen to us, their horrible progenitors, but I’m literally so digging Cass’ character setup rn. He’s so in deep sea of grief (he hasn’t even said the names of his now deceased friends from the Spire in years) and his own unresolved childhood issues that he’s since gotten used to being in emotional pain, but also anyone on the outside seeing him would see that he’s in need of any kind of help. He hasn’t spoken about his experiences in the Vestran war and meeting his parents after being in no contact with them for years beyond, ‘it sucked.’ His three years of grieving alone and looking for other Wayfarers before he met up with Aeran also get swiped under the ‘it sucked’ rug and never touched on again.

He’s in desperate need of a friend and someone to confide in but he doesn’t trust people and doubts everyone’s intentions so whenever someone does attempt to get close, he bites and then doesn’t really understand why people don’t want to get to know him intimately. All he has is Aeran but he sees Aeran has his plate full of shit as well so he doesn’t say anything - not that he’d know how; Cass hasn’t really spoken honestly and without sarcasm and in a heart-to-heart way in years.

To make matters worse, he’s also purposeless. He can’t plan for shit so he really has no purpose in life beyond survival right now. He also doesn’t have a set of values he can fully say is his own and speaks to him that doesn’t boil down to doing what he has to more or less to keep his head above water. And, once more, he’s so used to all of this that even if it hurts, it’s more comfortable than trying to do something about it and risk getting hurt even more.

He’s having a grand ole time you guys!!

For real though I’m so looking forward to him being actually motivated to and attempt to rip the bandaid off, maybe even start healing if he can or at the very least sorting this out as much as he can. I’m very hyped to see how he’ll be by the end of the game (and it’ll vary between routes because I like to torture myself.)

[youllneverknowrac]

Oscar Diaz-Shut Up Mom!(MBS)

Hey guys! Hope you enjoy this request!

Make sure to show some love if you liked it!

@b3mybunnybaby

~

“Mommy can you help me with a Tik-Tok prank on daddy?” Carlos asks from where you rest on the couch with your swollen feet up, Alexander taking a nap in your arms.

“I wanna watch Tik-Tok.” Angel says as he sits in time out from a tantrum he had minutes prior.

“No talking. You sit there and think about what you did.” You warn him before turning your attention to your third born,”What do I have to do?” You ask him with a smile, you needed some excitement in your life and this was the perfect way to get that. Especially since your little girl was about to be here any day now.

“Okay so all you need to do is...” Carlos begins to explain the instructions, even showing you a few videos as a reference,”Got it?”

“I do, but do you think you can out run your dad? Maybe we should tell Anthony or Junior to do it.” You suggest, already knowing that Oscar doesn’t play when it comes to your kids being disrespectful.

“Junior won’t be back until this weekend.” He says as he thinks his idea over,”Let me go ask Tony.” He decides before taking off up the stairs and into their shared bedroom.

“Mommy? Can I come sit with you now?” Angel asks quietly from the corner,”Pwease?”

“Are you sorry for being mean to Alex? You have to share with him, he’s your little brother. And soon Santana is gonna be here, are you going to be mean to her?”

“No mommy, I’ll be good. I’ll tell Alex sorry when he wakes up.”

“Okay, but if you mess up one more time today I’m telling daddy.”

“No! No daddy! I’m a good boy. Pinky promise.” He says as he runs over and jumps on the couch next to you,”I’m gonna be a good big brother.” He says as he carefully places a kiss to the sleeping boys head before doing the same to your stomach.

“I believe you. Now shhh, don’t wake him up.”

“Shhh.” He repeats with a head nod before laying back against the cushion and grabbing his tablet.

“Okay mom, I’ll do it but if he ends up grabbing me I’m throwing hands.” Anthony says as he comes down with Carlos.

“I’ll have your back.” Carlos says firmly with a clap on his back. Angel chiming in that he will to as he keeps his eyes focused on his game.

“Then you better run fast.” You laugh,”He should be home any minute now, so stretch those legs.”

You guys end up practicing a few times, Alexander awake in his pack n play by the time Oscar’s truck is pulling into the drive way,”He’s here, get ready!” Angel screams as he peeks out the window. Carlos hands you his phone, the app already set up before taking a seat with Angel. Anthony sitting on the steps mentally hyping his self up.

“Best looking Diaz is home!” Oscar shouts out after walking in the house and kicking his work boots off by the door,”Whatcha all doing?” He asks as he joins you all in the living room, undoing the buttons on his dirty uniform.

“Nothing I’m just trying to get these boys to clean up their rooms.” You sigh after pressing record, Oscar leaning over the back of the couch to peck your lips in greeting quickly,”They haven’t been listening to me all day.”

“Why aren’t they clean?” He asks as he looks in between the three older boys,”I’ll go throw away every toy and video game I bought if those rooms aren’t spotless by tonight, when your mom says to do something you do it. Understand me?”

“Yes sir.” All three boys nod simultaneously.

“Well go on then, I’ve been telling you all day. Anthony please clean y’alls bathroom too.”

“Oh my god, shut up mom. Quit nagging so much.” He says as he stands up, Oscar snapping his head over to the older boy so fast and dangerously walking towards him.

“The fuck did you just say?” He asks lowly,”I know damn well you ain’t talking to your mom like that.”

“I did and what?” He retorts, you guys deciding to take it a bit further than the original videos.

“Getcho ass over here!” Oscar shouts as he reaches out for his shirt, Anthony two steps ahead as he takes off in the opposite direction.

“Now Angel!” Carlos screams as they each grab onto Oscar’s legs and hang on for dear life.

“It’s a joke Oscar! Chill out!” You laugh as you scramble to your feet,”Look it’s for a video, I knew he was going to say that.” You add as you stop recording and show him.

“Oh y’all trying to play me for a fool?” Oscar says as he reaches down and picks up Angel by the ankles and holds him upside down,”Where you in on this? Huh?” He asks him with playful anger.

“No! Mommy help!” Angel laughs as he swings his body back and forth.

“Put my baby down.” You scold with a smile as you grab him with a low groan,”You’re so heavy now.” You comment as Oscar snatches Carlos up from the ground and holds him at arms length,”I know this was your idea.”

“Maybe.” He says innocently as he flashes his smile, a few baby teeth missing and being replaced with incoming adult teeth.

“Haha. You all think you’re so funny, I was about to air the whole roof off of this house. Y’all need to ask about me, you just don’t know what dads capable of.” Oscar boast as he lightly shoves the scrawny kid away with a push to his forehead.

“Um can I come back down?” Anthony yells from the top step.

“Yeah come down!” Oscar says, rubbing his nose with his thumb and index finger,”I ain’t gonna hurt you. Don’t be scared now.”

“It was for Tik-Tok.” Anthony says as he slowly descends from the steps,”I wouldn’t talk to mom like that for real.”

“You’re lucky.” Oscar jokes as he throws a few punches in his direction,”Don’t mess with the big dogs hyna.”

“Aye, I’m not that scared.” Your second born laughs as he doges the hits,”You ain’t that athletic anymore dad, old age is getting to you.”

“Hey! We’re practically the same age and another thing I’m your wife. Once upon a time I was your hyna, but you can’t call me that no more.” You scoff playfully as you sit back down with Angel, Alexander growing upset that he hasn’t got any attention yet.

“Yeah, but you look like a teenager, dad not so much.” Anthony laughs

“Aight, ima let that slide for now.” Oscar smirks as he goes over to pick up the baby after blowing a kiss and wink your way in understanding,”When you’re least expecting it though ima be on that ass.” He jokes before turning his attention to Alex,”You wouldn’t play a prank on daddy? No you’d never do that.” He says, placing a kiss to the top of his head after.

“What’s a hyna?” Angel asks looking between the two of you,”Whatever I don’t care, I have fruit snacks. Um mommy can I go get some pwease?”

“Yes, just one bag though. You can all go get a little snack, I’m ordering Chinese for dinner so don’t go overboard.”

“Awesome!” Carlos says before all three boys head into the kitchen.

“Y’all better eat at the table!” Oscar calls out behind them,”I don’t need any roaches in this house!”

“Yes sir!” They all shout back

“Bring me him.” You say and wiggle your fingers in their direction.

“You have a baby in your stomach, hold that.” Oscar says as he takes a step away,”Besides he’s the only one that didn’t play a prank on me so I’m gonna go give him some juice and cuddles.”

“What?!” You laugh as you throw your head back,”If you don’t give me my baby back and go change out of your dirty work clothes I’m gonna...”

“You’ll what? Chase after me?” Oscar teases as he bounces Alex in his arms,”Come on mama, come take him from me.”

“I don’t even have to get up, watch this...Alex, mommy’s baby boy. Come here.” You say and hold your arms out from the couch,”Come to mama.”

“Mama.” Alex says as he reaches out for you with a smile, his legs kicking out,”Mama.” He repeats with grabby hands, not waiting even two seconds before he begins to wail.

“Not fair.” Oscar says with squinted eyes as he hands him off to you,”That’s okay cause my princess is gonna be all about daddy. Then you’ll finally see how it feels to be second favorite.”

“It’s cute that you think your second, you know that’s Cesars spot.” You joke, Alex already calm in your arms as he sucks his thumb.

“What’s this, make Oscar upset day?” He scoffs as he leans over you,”Cause it’s working.” He tells you before pressing his lips to yours lovingly once again.

“I’ll make it up to you tonight.” You mumble against him mouth with a smile,”But you need to go shower first.” You laugh and turn your head away a second later,”Now please.”

“This smell coming off of me is called hard work mami. Hard work and money!” He laughs as he walks backwards towards the master bedroom,”Get on my level!”

“I’m above your level papi. I stay home all day with my baby’s and take your paycheck at the end of the week. You wish you were on my level!”

“You’re a smart ass.” He chuckles as he points at you,”But I love it.”

“Hmh love you.” You say and stick your tongue out at him, Oscar flicking you off before disappearing out of your sight.

“Mommy!” Angel shouts from the dining room,”Come in here with us!”

“Coming, give me a second.” You huff as you set Alex down and opt for holding his hand instead as the two of you head to join the other Diaz boys. A good time to ask them what other prank could be played on their daddy.

[fishylife]

Street Dance of China S4 Ep 3

(I’m having problems with Tumblr not saving my posts...)

- Oh no people are going to start getting eliminated! :o Well, I’m still really glad that we had two whole episodes of people just dancing and having fun and getting the opportunity to showcase who they are and how they dance.

- This question just occurred to me, but where do people look when they watch dance performances? As I watched the Go Go Brothers, I was thinking to myself, “Where do I look? If I look at one of them, I might miss what the other Brother is doing!” Just my musings lol.

- I am super shallow but people tripping makes me laugh, so yes, Nelson accidentally tripping did make me chuckle. (+ Rochka’s reaction)

- Yibo and Yixing discussing the SDOC theme song. It made me laugh because the lyrics are kind of hype but Yibo and Yixing aren’t exactly the most facially expressive people lol.

- After every performance Henry’d be like “let’s collaborate!!!!!!” Han Geng finally stepped in being like aight Henry you gotta take it easy on the recruitment because we’ve literally only seen three performances. I’m still not really sure of the format of the show from now on, so I’m not sure if they form new teams afterwards.

- Yixing was so guilty about not giving Bouboo a vote.

- Rochka’s shock @ Boubou not getting four votes.

- He’s ashamed.

- I think if a dancer gets less than 4 votes, then other dancers are allowed to challenge them for a spot to advance, but whoever loses is eliminated out of the tournament, so you have to be super confident to challenge. And if a dancer only gets 1 or 2 votes, they are eliminated.

- Yibo asked Rochka why he wouldn’t challenge Bouboo and Rochka said he’d never go against his teacher/big brother v.v They exchanged hearts but then Rochka pretended to throw the heart away and crush it lol.

- While I was expecting a bit more from Bouboo, I don’t think his challenger JC Jun was better than him. JC Jun was kind of wobbly, and I think his dance didn’t match the music as well as Bouboo’s did.

- Yixing had his head down when he voted for Ibuki too, so I think he just gets nervous about voting.

- Henry wanted to say that Ibuki was like lightning but he said the word for a flashing light/disco light and Han Geng wanted to give him shit for it.

- Yixing said that he thought AC’s waacking almost felt like krump.Yixing said that if he was to collaborate with AC, AC should do the arm swing, and Yixing would do the waacking lol. I am all for seeing Yixing doing more dance styles! Not gonna lie, I think he’d look cute doing waacking.

- Ye Yin’s performance was really nice! The music was unique and the way he danced, with the tap dance and folk-like elements really suited it.

- Rochka said he wants to know Ye Yin more and said they also have the same smile.

- Xiao Jie said he’d never battle Ye Yin but he got peer pressured by the captains into freestyling to Ye Yin’s self-produced song lol.

- To show face, you know? The entire time he was like “but this doesn’t count, okay?!!!!” since he wasn’t actually challenging Ye Yin, and it was just for funsies.

- The judges were a bit troubled by Xiaoming’s performance because at the end, he was supposed to fall but his fall wasn’t coordinated with the sound effect in the music. Xiaoming was like yeah, it’s pretty difficult but I’m hoping that my challenger wouldn’t be able to get it too and Yixing was laughing his goose laugh. But Xiaoming was eliminated with zero votes in the end.

- Kelo and Uwa had a horror mental hospital-themed dance which was interesting. Kelo said it was based on a nightmare he had as a child.

- Yang Kai wasn’t impressed though. He said he’d performed something similar with Liangliang before. He felt that Kelo and Uwa were performing but not really dancing. I can see where he’s coming from. Kelo and Uwa got three votes.

- Xiaohai ended up challenging them. He used the wheelchair too but like...somehow his expression just makes us unable to not laugh.

- I think he did really well considering he’d only heard the music once. And he returned to the wheelchair at the end of the performance lmfao

- Apparently when Xiaohai was looking up at the beginning, he was asking Li Yulong (who I assume is the person in charge of the music) for music cues but Li Yulong just laughed at him lol.

- Yibo basically said that Kelo and Uwa’s performance felt a bit abrupt in the story telling side, and that there weren’t really highs and lows to their performance.

- Rochka was talking crap about Bouboo behind his back and Yibo tattled which resulted in Rochka getting whacked in the face.

- Zyko taught Yibo and Rochka how to do his fancy leg moves.

- Yixing talking krump with Auju. Auju was like you’re really good for someone who’s only been learning for a year, but then Yixing was like, I practise 6 hours a day and Auju was like ?!?!

- Zyko + Henry (with Henry’s infamous “getting down while playing violin” move)

- Poppin’C introduced himself, saying he was from Italy and Switzerland, and Yibo and Yixing were thinking of all the things from Italy they knew. Yibo was like “...Valentino Rossi...” and Yixing was like “....pizza.....” These two spacey twinks istg.

- Anyway, Poppin’C’s performance was nice. Not only were his moves clean and impressive, but he also expressed the lyrics through his dance.

- Rochka fanboying over Poppin’C’s dance :P At one point, the lyrics were about hearts, and Poppin’C did some moves where he made a heart and Rochka here is saying how cute it was.

- Poppin’C said he missed his daughter and everybody’s like ?? a baby??? :3 :3 :3

- Also, I saw Uwa in the audience, so I think that the eliminated contestants get to continue watching.

- Poppin’C said that before, he was more fierce, but now that he has a daughter, he’s a little smoother and sweeter :3 Also he was describing that the singer’s voice in the song made his skin feel like chicken and everybody was like ??? Luckily Yixing saved the day lol. In Chinese, goose bumps are called “chicken pimples” or something like that.

- Bozi was next. In his introduction, Bozi said he was from Guangzhou, and maybe that’s why it sounded like so many people in the audience were pronouncing 波子 in Cantonese.

- Eleven said something very interesting about B-boys. He said that in their profession of dance, they don’t fear b-boys who can do tricks, but they fear b-boys who can listen to music. I think it’s a reference to the fact that b-boys are often doing their own thing and disregard the music, which makes sense. Sometimes b-boys are closer to gymnasts because they are so focused on the spins and other really athletic moves they do. But because their moves are so difficult, they sometimes don’t move to the music which is supposed to be the point of dancing.

- Bozi passed with 4 votes. And he did a bit of krump at the beginning, which Yixing admitted he fell for haha. Bozi said that Eleven helped him choreograph that part, so it’s Eleven who knows Yixing well >3

- The director asked Bozi who he thought his biggest b-boy rival on the show was. Of course, we all thought he was going to say Lil Kev, but he ended up saying Xiaoji and Xiaoji was like ?? me?? Bozi’s reasoning was that he’s more troubled by dancers with a different style from him because he doesn’t know how to beat them. From the small clips they showed, I think Xiaoji has a more animated style, whereas Bozi is more serious and reserved.

- Acky-san cheering on MT Pop lol. (”Embarrassing dad at baseball game” mode activate)

- MT Pop has really impressed me in the competition so far though. The way he moves is so cool and creative. I think he purposely goes for a kind of...monster vibe? Like he often has this creepy smile on his face lol. He’s not only dancing, but he’s using popping techniques to change how he moves entirely, including simple things like walking or how he turns his head. I think MT Pop is my favourite contestant.

- He said the monster from Pan’s Labrynth inspired this dance. So I guess I was kind of right that he does draw inspiration from monsters and other creatures.

- Low key mad at Han Geng for not giving MT Pop his vote lol. Geng-ge said he wanted to give someone a chance to challenge. Of all people, why MT Pop?? I don’t want him to goooo.

- Henry wanted to try doing the voiceover for the challenger and Han Geng indulged his overdramatic ass.

- Baby Dolphin challenged. He had some cool moves at the beginning, but I think he fell apart a bit towards the end, based on the judges’ reactions (as we didn’t see the full performance). Plus, I think MT Pop’s approach to dancing is just too unique and interesting to eliminate at this point.

- Kabamba had an interesting performance that had African and Latin influences, with big and energetic movements. Tianci challenged but he went with a general hip hop approach which did not suit the music at all. (I looked up Kabamba. Her name is Latrice Kabamba, but she also goes by 林珊娜 on her social media, which is why she’s sometimes called Nana on the show).

- Acky-san was repeating everything that people were saying around him. Stuff like jiayou!! and other words of encouragement. Dianmen who was sitting next to him was just lol’ing.

- Ma Xiaolong was performing to a song called 棋 and this word usually refers to any kind of board game. Ma Xiaolong’s first moves looked like he was putting pieces on a board and you just know that kind of stuff draws Yixing’s attention right away.

- I think Kenken’s style of dance is the kind of dance that the general public would really enjoy. Whereas some kinds of dance don’t really appeal to people who aren’t into dance, I think Kenken’s kind of dance will attract both the dance-conscious people as well as those who aren’t. I definitely got that vibe from him in the dance that he choreographed, and also his individual performance.

- Not even gonna question this. Perfection. Rochka catboy here we go.

- Okay, I agree with Colin’s performance not making the cut. Based on his introduction, he was supposed to be a popping expert, but his dance didn’t showcase that. His dance was more of a contemporary dance piece, but while we’ve had performances similar to that, his choreography didn’t stand out in comparison. After his performance he had a bit of a cry. Yixing mentioned that it was hard to judge because of the emotional aspect. But admittedly, this emotional stuff is usually the reason why I don’t like competition shows. It was revealed that Colin had lost his grandfather. Now, I’m going to sound cold, but I don’t like it when sob stories are brought in, because it makes us feel bad when we don’t like a piece of art that comes from very pure intentions. Yixing’s reasoning for not giving a vote was that he felt that the emotions overshadowed the dance, which is a problem because this is a show about dance. Han Geng’s reasoning was that he felt that the skill level could have been better. Yibo was quite moved by the performance, and I think that’s why he gave his vote to Colin.

- We got a preview for this week’s hotpot show.

- Yixing and his emotional support giant cup

- Lots of laughing (including Yixing laughing) which is good for the soul

[failing-to-write-again]

Sakamaki Character Analysis: Beabitch's Boys

Like ok so there's loads of scenarios/fanfics about the Sakamaki Bros helping the reader when they're depressed and similar situations to that but like actually thinking on it it's completely backwards and really unhealthy for that to be happening. So here's my in-depth analysis before I probably write a fic about it:

Shu:

ok so Shu is definitely dealing with depression and has been for a very long time without any form of actual help. As a child he did receive praise however he was never allowed to have interest and other career goals, it was only ever the vampire crown because Beatrix (henceforth called Beabitch in this) only cared about showing she was the best. Then he makes an actual friend who doesn't see him as a tool to complete their aims or to brag about. Reiji's jealousy (discussed later) then results in the village getting burner down and the assumed death or Edgar (I have many thoughts on this).

So Shu has been treated as a tool in someone else's game and the one time he makes a friend who actually cares about him, they die. That fucks up kids especially when you're a scared little kid and so, completely understandably, freeze that creates feelings of guilt. Shu lacks any motivation he doesn't see why he should do anything as all he'll get are hollow praise for people who want to use him to brag or be scoffed at by Reiji if he fails. Anytime he's tried doing stuff he likes it's backfired and as a result he lacks any motivation and is probably very depressed.

Then comes the music, I have a lot of trouble with intrusive thoughts/anxiety/depression and guess what my coping mechanism is? I put in earphones and drown out everything. My earphones are basically surgically attached to my neck/ears. Now I take em off when I'm doing something I enjoy as then I distracted, but other then that they're always on. Now think about Shu and how much this parallels him except he doesn't even have anything he likes he can do without music.

Shu needs someone to notice this and get him out of the funk. Find things he can do without earphones, slowly get him to open up. And most importantly someone who won't give out to him for sleeping too much or cancelling plans due to this sleeping. If he's feeling worse then normal giving out to him will only make him feel worse. He needs the understanding of "I'm here, the restaurant will always be there next week. C'mon let's go sit outside and I can tell you about the different constellations" now look at what that does. It validates his importance to you as a person, not as a boyfriend tool, not as a bragging right, AS A PERSON. It shows you want him there because it's him, as well as this you're not letting him stay in the funk but you're not pushing him too far. Sitting outside to escape the atmosphere of the mansion and Reiji's glares, and you talking about something he can listen to as a distraction but not his coping mechanism of music.

Shu wouldn't be able to help a person with depression as he himself has depression so severe it's heavily affecting his life. Shu is not perfect and his behavior definitely can't be excused completely but the approach shouldn't be screaming or berating but slow understanding with limits. "No you can't touch my butt while I read to you. [ignore him when he tries calling you lewd women or being pervy]. I said no touching my butt, [walk to another spot to sit and continue to read to him from a distance] apologise and I'll come back." He needs to not just receive praise, the fact you give limits gives him structure. People can't be allowed do what they want without consequence.

Reiji:

Now I know it seems I gave Reiji shit in Shu's one about the glares and all that but I'm not salty about it because it's clear Reiji is also in desperate need of help. We all are aware he didn't receive any attention from his mother and Shu was clearly favoured, although I don't think he fully understands why his mother preferred Shu as Reiji feels jealous of Shu as opposed to solely blaming his mother.

So as I've said before, Beabitch didn't really love Shu, and definitely not Reiji. She loved what Shu did to her status, she's the first wife of the vampire king and gave birth to the next one blah blah blah. I don't think Reiji fully understands this as he feels Shu just rejected all of Beabitch's love, not realising this was because Shu knew he wasn't loved for him, he was loved for his royal blood.

Reiji also has never had ANYONE to care for him, he's essentially the head of the household with organization and discipline. He does everything and gets no thanks or even really recognition for it. This results in him pushing away any form of positive attention unknowingly and assuming it's pity or because he's rich. The one thing is craves is what he can't take. He doesn't know what it's like to be loved or appreciated other then teachers praise over grades.

Reiji can't just have a hype partner, that's unhealthy for him to be dependent on one person like that. Instead he needs simple care, coming to talk to him over his brothers, saying thank you when he helps and telling him how you appreciate him, offering to help cook dinner (even if he refuses, it's about showing you care rather then taking over his duties). That being said DO NOT PANDER TO BAD BEHAVIOR. No he can not hit you/drug you/berate you (as in telling you you're nothing over being human, not regular kinda cold person things like "why are you hugging me I'm busy go bother someone else...NO WAIT DON'T GO I'M LONELY") and get cuddles afterwards. He will soon learn that being slightly cold but a gentleman will get him love, aka the parts of his personality that aren't harmful to have necessarily. So the being weird with PDA, liking teapots and being smart, the manners, the sarcasm. Those get a pass. But the hitting, drugging, telling you you're worthless just because you're human, etc etc etc that shit won't get him the result he wants; attention. He's a scientist so this will make him think he's figured this all out on his own even though you're probably pretty aware that you're teaching him how to be a better person in a healthier way.

Now once you're dating and he begins opening up I think it's important you try slip in the idea Shu wasn't loved for being a son, but because he was useful for Beabitch. You and Shu's therapy friend or s/o should try foster a less hateful relationship. I don't expect them to be best buds anything soon or maybe ever, but having Reiji not want to destroy Shu and Shu not feeling drained or expecting a verbal smack around is definitely something that is good for them. We see in one route of the games for Reiji (forgot which one maybe it's in more blood?) Reiji actually accepts the role of advisor to Shu and we see Shu's shock when Reiji changes a plan to suit Shu better, we also see Shu show he appreciates it in a fairly backwards Shu way. THIS IS WHAT'S NEEDED! They don't need loving brother relationship necessarily but they need some level of trust and understanding.

in conclusion I love both of these boys but they need love first before I can start begging for attention.

AIGHT IMA SPLIT THIS BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT TO COVER! NEXT WILL BE CUNTDELIA'S SPAWN.

[radramblog]

Album Discussion: The Suburbs

Last week I felt like I didn’t have much time to pump an album review out. Was going to be in the lab all day, had work in the night, wanted to cover something quick. Then I finished really early, and had plenty of time in the afternoon to finish things off. This week I am in the same situation as far as scheduling, but someone’s bloody using equipment I need, so I’ve got a bit of extra time now. Time to talk about a >1hr 16 track record!

Also last week, I covered an album that I felt was more interesting from a meta level than it is musically. This week I’m talking about an album that I know nothing of the meta for.

The Suburbs I was reminded of recently. Mostly because I ran into the person who bought me the CD for the first time in like a year. I understand Arcade Fire have A Reputation as far as bands go, but the thing is: I have no idea what it is. I haven’t followed them at all, I don’t know whether they’re considered good or not, I haven’t even seen any of the music videos. I have never deliberately listened to an Arcade Fire song outside of this album.

But I do like this album. So.

Okay the one thing I do know is what the album is about. It’s about growing up in the suburbs of…I think Texas somewhere. I could look this up, but I refuse. The result of this is that the whole thing is intensely nostalgic, full of reminiscence and wistfulness, childhood innocence and what growing up is like. It’s one of those, you know? That does, however, make it fairly easy to like, because I think a lot of people are nostalgic for their childhoods.

(yeah so the only music videos for this one are at the very start and very end. this is going to be a bit of a wall of words.)

This is characterised by the opening track, which is also the album’s title track: The Suburbs. It’s opening with a very folksy acoustic guitar and piano, and longing for that childhood is its modus operandi. It is, however, tinged by the anxieties of that era- growing up in the shadow of the cold war is going to leave an impact on anyone, and that cultural climate is also going to be running through the album. I think the most poignant section of the song lyrically is the start of the third verse- wishing to become a parent, so they can live vicariously through their child, show them their childhood world before the reality and the memory are completely lost. Okay that’s kinda heavy moving on- the track is pretty much built around that piano/acoustic bit, sounding relatively upbeat but coloured by these lonesome strings running through the background. It’s very effective of conveying the feeling- which is something that comes up quite a bit over the course of the album. The Suburbs is one of my favourite tracks on this album, and having it come right at the front makes it a very solid stage-setter.

Track two is Ready to Start, a faster, rockier track with this grimy bassline running through the verses contrasting the relatively bright instrumentation of the chorus. Considering the themes of the song, about working for the man, dude, and trying to escape that sort of life, it’s fairly fitting, though it’s a very different sort of nostalgia than the previous track. The instrumentation gives the whole thing this sense urgency, which is enhanced by some of the lyrics- I mean the track is called Ready to Start, isn’t it. I feel like this song would be great to try and hype yourself up for something you don’t really want to do, and I’m not sure how many songs we have specifically for that feeling.

Our next song is called Modern Man, and it feels like tumbling through a confusing life. God, I’m really getting pensive today. I feel like this is a lot because this album resonates a lot more emotionally for me than musically. I’m someone with a very weird sense of nostalgia, seeing as my childhood is pretty effectively defined into three segments, and I tend to fixate on one of them because it’s The Weird One. I’m nostalgic for high school which is when I was nostalgic for living abroad which is when I was nostalgic for when I still lived in Perth, which I do now, but I don’t know anyone from back then, so there’s a whole sense of longing, and it’s something I’ve always had, and that’s funky. And I’m still young, this isn’t going to change, it’s going to get worse, and eghhhh I’m supposed to be talking about music. I don’t really have much to say about Modern Man, I guess. It’s aight, the previous two were better, but here I am 800 words into an album discussion, and I’ve gone through all of 3 songs on a 16 track album, so maybe expect this to be a slog.

Rococo at least makes an impact real quick, with fuckin psychotic strings right at the start that’s kind of a shock to the system, especially compared to the relatively mild instrumentation the rest of the song provides. I think that’s a fairly appropriate tone for a song about looking at #thecoolkids, bemusement tinged with utter stark bewilderment. I think I’m too young to really get this, I guess. The song’s title regards an art movement that sounds extremely pretentious and fake deep, frankly, but considering the point of the song is that you don’t bloody know what Rococo means, that’s probably also fitting. I kinda wish the strings were more present throughout the song than they were, they add this existential dread to the track that I do think the later sections are missing somewhat.

Speaking of strings, Empty Room is up next, and it’s one of my favourite tracks as well. It opens with the strings but they’re fast and energetic and they’re going to blow right past you. I thought this track was in like the second half of the album, but nope, here it is. This is also where the album’s second vocalist takes the lead for a bit (she only does for like 3 scattered tracks) and she’s genuinely great here. The songs chugs like an old train, in a way that reminds me a lot of other songs; in particular, the bit between the chorus and second verse (and chorus/outro) reminds me a lot of Teach me About Dying by Holy Holy- I can’t unhear “teach me about dying, teach me about dying-dying” over that instrumental. Despite its desolate lyricism, this song’s energy is genuinely excellent, and it carries really well through the whole thing. I can’t think of a lot of songs that start on this sort of tempo and have it run the whole way through- not to keep referencing other songs, but it’s very Go with the Flow by Queens of the Stone Age. And that’s like in the top 3 QotSA songs for me, so.

It’s only just struck me how much track 6, City With no Children, reminds me of There There by Radiohead. Its mostly the percussion, I think. That’s fucking high praise, but it’s also about as far as the comparison goes. The song is pretty okay outside of that, this theme of a town left lifeless by the commercialism and capitalism of the ultra-rich and what that does to people. Maybe that’s just my reading of it, I do have a bias for this sort of thing, but I challenge you to find another one. Looking on Genius is cheating. I do like the riff the track is built around, but it gets old eventually, since it doesn’t develop at all as the track progresses- lost potential, I suppose.

The next song is the first part of the album’s first of two two-parters, Half Light I, because apparently this one is trying to be a long-running drama show now. With that said, this ballad is kinda gorgeous, and yet also kinda extremely boring? Which is a frustrating place to be, frankly. I get the feeling this is an opinion that would get me crucified, but aside from those strings what fuck, the song just isn’t doing anything for me. Maybe it’s because it’s kinda almost the halfway point and I’m just getting tired, maybe it’s just a generational and cultural divide between America/Australia and 90s-00s/00s-10s and I don’t Get It. But I’m afraid to say this one doesn’t land.

Half Light II (No Celebration), for the record, is one I enjoy much more. The instrumentation is a lot more fun, the tone is a lot more pained (and y’all know I love me some angst), as the rose-tinted lenses of the previous half are replaced by the jade of someone growing up through the GFC (and just, in general). Despite being a two-part song, the halves are very different, a deliberate dichotomy representing two facets of that same look backwards. I feel like this isn’t like other two-part songs I’ve heard before, in that you can kinda appreciate the halves separately- or, in my case, one and not the other.

Track 9, and welcome more officially to the Second Half, with Suburban War. It’s very much about reminiscing about old friends, and I think I’m going to wax personal for a bit, because I have very little to say about the song musically. I mentioned earlier that I basically don’t know anyone from back when I was a kid, and that’s kind of a product of what my childhood looked like. It’s hard to have a “childhood friend” that you still keep up with when you spend 5 extremely crucial, defining years somewhere away from where all of them are. When you leave at 7 years old and don’t come back until you’re almost a teenager. People change so quickly at that age, and I’m no exception, and so I just didn’t have the ability to relate to those same people that long afterwards, even if I could find them. I don’t resent the experience of growing up in such a fractured manner, but it means I have a fundamentally different experience to that discussed in this album. At the same time, as I listen to the closing moments of this song, with the line repeated, “All my old friends, they don’t know me now”, I can’t help but notice the similarity. The writer’s friends don’t know them because they’ve grown up, changed fundamentally as people, whereas I don’t know my old friends in a much more literal sense.

Our next song is a bit more fun. Month of May is unequivocally a rock song, as opposed to the..indie? folk? of most of its surrounds. Much like Empty Room, it’s driven by its tempo and instrumentation, but it’s a bit less dour than that one, almost a bit oldie in its rock and roll swagger. The song isn’t so utterly different that it wouldn’t fit on the album, the traces of The Suburbs still roll through the whole thing, the same guitar and percussion tones driven up a couple notches on the ol’ Mohs scale. Quite solid, ultimately, in my opinion.

Track 11 is Wasted Hours. I think it’s a kind of appropriate title, not because it’s a waste of time, but because it just kinda feels like a nothing song as part of the album. Like, it is unquestionably Part Of The Album, sonically and thematically, but I deadass would not notice if it was missing from the record. Sorry if this one is your favourite, but this one isn’t for me.

Deep Blue, on the other hand, is the song that got me into the album. There’s really something about this track, this sense of discomfort with the passage of time, that really wormed its way into me. It’s a shockingly cold song for this acoustic instrumentation that’s usually associated with quite the opposite. The piano feels desperate, the guitars grim, and there’s actual synths hiding in here- the song relates to technology, after all. It’s concern for the future of humanity, of the youth, and for, well, the Suburbs, through the lens of watching that match between chess Grandmaster Kasparov and the A.I. Deep Blue in 1996. Go watch the Down the Rabbit Hole on that if you haven’t already (and have a few hours), by the way, it’s utterly excellent.

I can’t really describe how Deep Blue makes me feel. There’s just something about it. I feel like if I hear this song again in 10 years, it would genuinely bring me to tears- it feels like loss in a way, and not the meme.

We Used to Wait has a fun instrumentation, glittery piano and that funky guitar noodling in the background, but unfortunately the chorus kinda lets it down for me. I just do not care for it, it’s really built on a vocal line that really doesn’t track for me personally. Like, I’m just young enough that a lot of the theme of the track is utterly unrelatable to me- I hail from an era that is post- the change the track is referring to. I’m focussing a lot this time around about how the songs make me feel personally, but I think that’s kind of the appropriate tack for this album in particular- like the idea of nostalgic reminiscence is so inexorably tied to your own personal experiences that there’s no way around those experiences clouding your perception of this album, and with that, how well you end up liking it. I bet this whole thing hits way harder for someone born in the same couple years as this band.

We’re up to the second two-parter, Sprawl I (Flatland), kind of the finale for the whole thing. I mean, in I’s case, it’s certainly that emotionally. The song is so utterly down, it’s lost in the urban sprawl the title and lyrics describe, and with that comes a very quiet track. Moody strings and guitar, that eventually build during the fourth verse (there is no chorus and they’re short). It does eventually resolve on a more positive note, at least, one that’s hopefully relatable to many of us- eventually, we find our emotional home is, and it’s often not where we grew up.

Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) is quite the different perspective. It’s got that other lead vocalist (I could look up her name but I won’t), it’s got a pulsing beat, and it has much more energy to work with. There are synths on this track that are absent from almost the entire rest of the album, but their introduction here, right at the end, is extremely cool. They’re cool, they’re clear, and they’re thematically relevant! I just really like the vibe of this track, and the way it trails off is similarly very good. Would recommend.

But of course there is one final track. Kind of. The Suburbs (continued) is basically a dark reprise of the album’s opener, shaded with more regret than that track is, more strings-y and whispered. It’s very short, but it acts as an appropriate closer for the whole thing.

And of course, that’s The Suburbs. In retrospect, I have a bit more mixed thoughts about this than I thought. There’s some really high highs, and some things that are just kind of bleh, but any album of this length is bound to have some misses. While I was browsing Genius to make sure I had the lyrics right for some tracks, I saw this record described as a Masterpiece, but I’m not sure that shoe fits- at least, not for me. The personal nature of this album, and anyone’s theoretical relationship with it, are such that I don’t think it can be given such a broad, universal title. I like the album as a whole quite a bit, but I personally wouldn’t call it a masterpiece.

It also doesn’t inspire me to go after more Arcade Fire. I’m actually perfectly content having them in my mind as this solitary piece, complete in its own way. Oh, they have like four other albums, but to me, Arcade Fire is The Suburbs. I don’t know why I’ve decided this, but it just works for me. So I’m sorry to any massive AF fans, but I did just dedicated 2.7k words to this album, so I’m sure you’re all satisfied.

God, next time I am going to have to cover something shorter, for my own sanity if nothing else.

[dumbdotcomm]

lessons in opposites

(a/n) a commission for my pal @fanfic-inator795! enjoy some raph and donnie bonding !

It’s not that Raph really prefers one brother over the other; he’s been blessed with three great brothers and one fantastic sister and Raphael is grateful every day, as sure as he’s got life and breath in him, he’s so grateful that he’s not alone. 

April asks, just for laughs, for a silly documentary on their Lair Games, if Raph had a favorite brother; and off the bat, on instinct, he wants to deny that he does. He loves them all. But then he blurts out Mikey’s name without thinking and then things start to shift, and Raph starts to wonder if he’s a terrible brother for that.

“It’s not a big deal, Raph,” Donnie says, after having seen the clips of how little faith his brothers had in his athleticism, and that one little clip of Raph easily admitting Mikey was his favorite, followed up by Leo, “It’s just a joke…”

But he says it in the way that’s pinched and just a little forced like he does when he takes hard hits and bad falls and just wants to laugh it off because he’s fine. 

Raph swallows, nods, presses a smile that feigns belief in Donnie’s words, but he can’t stop glancing over at his brother’s face the whole rest of the time they watch April’s (incredibly edited) documentary film. 

His brother keeps his eyes downcast and does that thing where he wrings his hands till they get weirdly slick with this mucusy stuff. 

Like when he’s hurt and holding back. 

And Raph makes a silent promise, then, that he’ll definitely make it up to his brother.

---

Life has a funny way of just screwing plans and promises over. Raph trains extra with his father on early mornings, learning to think, to focus, to get his fears under control. Donnie locks himself into work by the time training is over, and then they go patrol and watch something on Netflix and then the day is spent and it’s 4am. 

So it’s not exactly intentional, the way their paths just don’t cross long enough for Raph to really get the chance to make it up to Donnie. But it’s still shitty and Raph knows there’s something he can do- he has to. 

And so he googles a bunch of stuff going on in Manhattan, something that wouldn’t be so obviously intended on compensating for basically saying Don is his least favorite brother. Something Donnie won’t suspect, because if he did- 

“If you asking me is a way of ‘reparations’ for the Lair Games documentary, Raph…”

“It’s not-” Raph raises his arms in innocence, and crosses over his plastron, “Turtle’s honor, Donnie. ‘S just the guys...they’ll be all ‘that’s lame’, and you…”

“Wouldn’t think a teddy bear world is lame?” Donnie quirks his perfectly drawn brow and cocks his head a little at Raph.

This is going abysmally, but not quite in a way that wasn’t expected. Raph bites his own tongue from just spilling his intentions heartfeltly- because he can’t scare his brother off right now. He’s gotta play it cool. 

“Uhhh, I mean, I-”

“Because you’d be pretty accurate,” Donnie interjects, and despite his voice remaining flat, his lips curve into a ghost of a smile, and Raph’s heart stops pounding so hard, “I was wondering when you would finally ask one of us, ugh a dream come true.”

Raph genuinely cannot tell if Donnie is being sarcastic, though roughly fifteen years of training has at least let him gather, from that weird way his brother’s eyes got super overbright when he was excited, that Donnie really, like super straight up, means it. 

“Wow…. well, aight then,” Raph laughs with his words, still not believing how easy it was to simply…ask to spend time with his brother, “Just pick a disguise and we good!”

“Yup, normal disguise. Friday it ‘tis,” Donnie returns the laugh, a touch awkward, before taking his sandwich back to his lab. 

And the slightly manic look that Raph catches in his brother, just as he slips from view, makes a lot of little pieces in Raph’s head come together, like a little, horrifying jigsaw puzzle.

Because Raph has been blessed with having Donnie as a brother for fourteen years, he knows a terrible plan forming when he sees one. 

-----

Donnie takes pride in his intellect, like not in a super cocky way, he’s just glad he’s been gifted with the ability to make a pea shooter in one afternoon that also has the capability to laser off a bastard’s face. 

Still he’s not too prideful to admit that he’s sometimes stupid as hell, in the emotional department, and social department. And while that’s not exactly ideal, Donnie’s got four pretty incredible siblings to lean on for that and so he doesn’t really complain about the impossibility of picking up social cues. 

But sometimes, like when his older brother is standing across from him uncomfortably stiff, babbling on about Teddy Bear Town- well sometimes Donnie kinda wishes he did get it. 

It’s only until he’s stacking his third layer of his sandwich that Donnie really understands what this is all about. Because Raph’s got his ‘I’m nervously trying to make it up to you’ stink, and then Donnie remembers the documentary, and Raph’s commentary, and the really…awful way Donnie pretended not to feel afterwards. 

He doesn’t want Raph to pity invite him, he doesn’t need that. And Donnie’s gonna make sure his brother knows he’s fine- he’s chill and and he’s okay with potentially being Raph’s least favorite. 

So he’s supposed to respond to Raph nonchalantly, to just go with Raph and be cool about it but- 

“Shelldon, download all the info you can find on Teddy Town…”

-----

“Rise and shine, bud!” 

Donnie must’ve drank four extra shots of espresso to be this hype this early, and Raph grips the steering wheel of the Turtle Tank a little harder to try and not smell so nervous. Because there’s no way Donnie could have actually known what Raph’s intentions were, like he had to have just thought that this was a normal thing, and not a ‘I’m so sorry I made you feel less than appreciated, please forgive me’ type of thing. 

And Donnie is definitely onto something, even if he’s not onto Raph. He’s just got that glint in his eyes, and Raph feels just a little bit selfish for wanting this to be a normal day- for his brother to  just be-

“Uh...thanks for taggin’ along,” Raph doesn’t intentionally cut Donnie off, but his brother’s talking a mile a minute about the history of Teddy Bear Town and Raph knows that he’s only doing it because he feels he has to. 

Donnie stops himself, blinks, and puts his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, “It’s no big deal…” he says, in complete contrary to his hyperactive Ted Talk, “Being benched for a sprained ankle was shit, needed to get out anyway…”

He glances over at Raph and looks instantly, incredibly smaller. 

Raph thumbs the steering wheel, drumming against it in thought, in a search for words. 

He doesn’t have to do this kinda stuff with Mikey, and Leo never shuts up- and Donnie is just…

“Bluetooth, connect to my phone,” Donnie says abruptly, before Raph even gets the chance to think of something to say. 

And they stay quiet, listening to music the whole way there.

------

Things feel significantly less awkward in the bigger crowd. Raph is grateful for all the noise and movement that he can shift his focus on, instead of the downcast way Donnie’s been carrying himself since halfway through their ride over here. 

And Raph’s always kinda felt his younger brother had a tough time expressing himself- that they were different that way. That Raph carried his heart on his sleeve and that his brother didn’t. But now he’s starting to see that maybe he’s got some things twisted. That he and Donnie are a lot more alike in these things than Raph thought. 

“Stay close,” he tells his brother, because as aloof as humans are, they’re still humans, and they don’t always accept what’s different.

Raph remembers telling Donnie that, when they first met April, when Donnie surprisingly was the first to reach out and grab her little hand and compare it to his. And Donnie had looked at him weird, and yeah, well humans aren’t the only ones that don’t understand ‘different’. 

The memory hits Raph so suddenly, and almost makes him miss a step. 

He turns to find Donnie staring at him, which must mean Donnie noticed, because of course he did.

And Raph stares back because oh. Holy shit. 

“Uh…” Donnie glances around awkwardly, “Raph, you’re giving off a weird...vibe right now. You good-”

“Can we talk?” Raph blurts out, and surveys their surroundings, for a place to dip, “Like real quick?” 

Donnie looks like he wants to bolt now, which would be ideal in the packed hallway of the mall. But he doesn’t. He just swallows and darts his eyes and nods.

Sure. 

Pros to being trained ninjas is the ability to disappear quickly, and they find a quiet, tucked away spot where Raph finally lets himself breathe. 

“You’re different,” he says it quickly and rushed and Donnie’s eyes briefly widen in some sort of surprise, but Raph presses on despite his sloppy start, “You….you think different, you think, like, way smarter than us, an’ you make different jokes and express differently an’ that doesn’t. It’s not bad, Donnie.” 

His brother keeps his eyes to the ground, kicking gently at nothing, “I don’t care that you said I’m your least favorite, Raph,” he mumbles. 

“But you do,” Raph counters back, and keeps his voice leveled, tries not to talk to Donnie too softly or else he’d feel babied, “And that’s normal, and I wish I could say that what I said wasn’t...I dunno, like a…”

“Reflection of how you feel?” Donnie poses, but his words aren’t angry, even if Raph feels his brother’s got full rights to be.

He sighs, deflating a little, “Yeah...yeah, I guess it’s that. But not because I think...it’s because I get really...weirdly insecure man. You’re a freaking genuis and I know you never try an’ make us feel dumb, but- and then we’re both super bad at words and I just… I dunno Dee.”

Raph takes the extra step to go close the distance between him and Donnie, and Donnie stiffens up- at first, for just a couple of seconds, “But I love you, ‘cause you’re an awesome person, and ya not my least favorite. You’re not. And ya don’t gotta pretend you’re cool with everything.”

Donnie pulls back, a dorky smile on his face, which is infinitely better than the sad way he looked earlier, even better than the way he pretended like everything was good and it wasn’t.

“You don’t have to pretend either,” Donnie says, unlocking their eye contact, and staring back at his feet, “I know you were trying to...to make it up to me, but. You could’ve- you didn’t have to invite me.”

“But I wanted to,” Raph says it and means it with everything he’s got, “Really, Donnie. A-and I wanted to do somethin’ that ya wouldn’t think was me just tryna get on your good side, ya know. Somethin’ we could just...do.”

“And I messed up, the whole info-dumping….” 

He’s doing it again, he’s making himself smaller and Raph’s not allowing that. 

“Okay, half of that stuff, I woulda never known- and ya looked all’a that up just to get to understand me better. I just didn’t want you...t’ think you had to...say all that.”

“And I didn’t want you to think you had to invite me,” Donnie quips back, but ends it with a small smile, “So I guess we’re in the same proverbial boat.”

Raph snorts, “The boat of insecurity…”

And Donnie, stiff and awkward and still full of feeling, takes his turn to hug Raph fully this time, “Screw that boat.”

-----

In the end Donnie makes his bear with a shitton of detail, getting so wrapped up in it that they spend a couple hours there.

And Raph’s bear is simple, not all that complex like his brother’s- but that’s more than okay, actually.

Their differences were more than okay.

[justniaaa]

Unravel Me (4)

Gif by: @blackisblackisblack​

Rating 18+NSFW

Work Count: 3.4k

Pairing: Christopher “Rio” Martinez xblack!oc

Warning: Swearing, mentions of a gun

A/N: Hey my loves! I’ve missed you guys so much, so sorry for the late update. I’m not going to lie and say it wont happen again because it most likely will but I wasn’t expecting to be gone for so long. Anxiety/ Depression is a fucking bitch bro and like I said before even if my posting isn’t constant, I always want to make sure to give you guys content. Thanks for you for rocking with me and Enjoy chapter 4! Happy reading and please dont forget to like, comment and reblog <3

Summary: Toni forms an unsuspecting friendship with Christopher that turns into something more. As her feelings towards him continue to grow she starts to  unravel the secrets that surround him and in return, he unravels her completely.

Chapter 4: Let the games begin

After the eventful night between Toni and Chris, it was like the days went by rather quickly and before she knew it, Friday was here and Toni’s nerves were coming along for the ride. When she came home that night and told her girls about what transpired with her and the mysterious business mogul they gave out beaming smiles and all three of them jumped around, excited that Toni was going out on a date. And of course, don’t even get her started on Aaliyah, the woman was more than elated, and every chance she got she made sure to bother Toni about her new “boyfriend.”

Toni was walking in from work at Print Monthly and let out a yawn. Working two jobs, and writing a new article was slowly catching up with her, but with enough caffeine, she thinks she could make it through. She took off her heels and placed her keys on the entrance table trying to stifle yet another yawn, that was on its way out of her mouth. As she went further into the apartment she didn’t hear any movement from either of the girl’s rooms so she figured she was home alone. Toni went into her room not caring to turn on the light since she had a small night light in the corner and shut the door. She dropped her purse on the floor and took off her clothes, only leaving on her bra and panties. Toni sighed and shuffled to her bed, face planting into it as she wrapped her sherpa throw around her body. Since the AC was fixed the day before her place was nice and cool and all she wanted to do was take a small nap.

But before she could float away to unconsciousness her door was rushed open and the light flicked on, “Oh no bitch, get up!”

Toni groaned hearing Rocky’s voice and covered her face with the blanket, wishing for  a couple of minutes of sleep, “Antonia Kelis Thompson, up now!”

The blanket was ripped away from Toni, and she put her face into the pillow, “Just five minutes,” she groaned.  

“No, get up! Sage made you a smoothie to help with your energy before she left for the grocery store and you need to drink it so we can get you together for tonight.”

Toni turned her head and looked at Rocky, she was standing next to her bed with her eyebrow raised and a hand on her hip and the other was outstretched with said green smoothie in her grasp.

“It’s only six Rocky, we meet up at nine.”

True to his word, Chris hit her up and they set up a time and place to meet up, the place being an escape room to which Toni was particularly thrilled about. She had always wanted to go to one and she vaguely remembered mentioning it to him on one of their morning talks at the cafe. After they arranged their night out they continued texting each other throughout the day and it felt good to have that feeling of giddiness whenever she heard her phone ding and it possibly being him.

Toni huffed and sat up, sitting cross-legged on her bed and took the drink from Rocky’s hand. Taking a few sips she scrunched up her face from the taste but soldiered on when she saw the look Racquel gave her. When she finally finished the last bits of the smoothie, she put the glass on her nightstand and turned back to her friend.  

“All finished, what’s next on the list warden?”

Racquel rolled her eyes, “So damn dramatic, go take a shower and I’ll dive into that mess  you call a closet to find you something to wear.”

Toni stretched her limbs as she stood up from the bed while Rocky shooed her to the bathroom grabbing her towel from the back of the door in the process.

“And don’t forget to shave bitch!” Rocky yelled out.

“I shaved my legs yesterday, why the hell am I going to do them again?” Toni said poking her head out from the doorway, her confusion was evident.

“I’m not talking about your legs, girl,” Raquel said, winking. Toni didn’t plan on sleeping with Chris tonight but with how crazy the attraction was between them anything was possible. So with understanding and gratitude, Toni simply nodded and backed into the bathroom, closing the door and getting to work.

After the long half-hour of exfoliation, shaving, and showering, Toni came out of the bathroom feeling fresh and squeaky clean and walked into the sight of her bed strewn with clothes. She took in the sight of her best friends arguing with a piece of clothing in their hands about which outfit would work best. She chose to ignore them knowing that whatever they picked would be applicable and tightened the towel on her form, going to her vanity to do her makeup and hair. The girls interrupted her a few times showing her what they chose and Sage helped Toni curl her hair in the back. Music and bouts of laughter were heard throughout the home and the minutes ticked by getting closer to when Toni was deemed to leave. She was just putting on her light blue jeans when her phone went off, interrupting the song that was playing on her Bluetooth. Rocky and Sage continued talking about whether she should wear heels or sneakers, and Toni finished buttoning her pants walking over to her device. The name Chris was on her screen, and before the voicemail picked up she answered.

“Hello,” she said.

“There she is, thought you weren’t gonna answer,” Chris’s smooth voice came through the phone, making Toni’s stomach flutter with butterflies. She could vaguely hear noises of machinery in the background but she didn’t think anything of it because as quickly as the noise came it was gone, like he went into a separate room.

“I mean I didn’t have to pick up, especially since you're interrupting me getting ready for my date,” Toni sat down on the bench at the end of her bed.

“Oh, word? Who’s the lucky man?”

Toni looked down at her nails, “Some guy I met a couple of weeks ago, he ain’t all that but I decided to have mercy and give him a chance.”

Chris laughed into the receiver, “I bet he’s hype as fuck to take your pretty ass out.”

Toni shrugged like he could see her, “I mean, I am kind of great.”  

“That you are Antonia, that you are.”

Toni covered her mouth with her fingers, trying to control the megawatt smile that was threatening to break out. They knew each other barely a month and already the way Chris made Toni feel was slightly alarming. “Is everything okay though, because if you need to change the time or something that’s fine.”

“Nah we good, just wanted to check up on you. And make sure I wasn’t gonna do an escape room by myself.”

“No worries, I’ll be there,” Toni said grinning.

“Aiight, so I’ll see you soon yeah?”

“Yes, sir nine o’clock.”

Chris chuckled, “Aight mama, later.”

Toni hung up and put her phone back on the charger, “I’m guessing from all the flirting we just heard, that was him,” Sage asked.

She shook her head, “Yeah, he was calling to make sure we were still on tonight.” Toni went and looked at the shoe options they picked out, thankful that her friends lended out a helping hand.  

“We think the all-white Nike’s would look great with your outfit. Plus it will give your feet a break from the heels and you can run around as you play the game with your boyfriend,” Rocky smirked when Toni gave her a dirty look at her use of the “B” word.

“I agree,” she told them. After bending down to put her sneakers on, Toni stood up and examined her outfit in the mirror, liking how it looked. The white bodysuit accentuated her curves and the light blue jeans and sneakers really brought everything together, making her feel comfortable but be cute at the same time. Toni sprayed her perfume and got her crossbody bag and phone, listening to her friends give her a pep talk as she walked to the front door.

“We put some wipes in your bag and some mints as well just in case your breath gets hot,” Sage said, following behind Toni.

“Oh yes and some pepper spray if he decides to get handsy,” Raquel continued, bringing up the rear, “You never know he can turn into an asshole when the clock strikes twelve.”

Sage gave Rocky a glare and nudged her, “I doubt it will come to that, Racquel but it is always good to be safe.”

“Yes, it is,” Rocky grumbled, rubbing her sore side. Sage may be small but her elbow had some power behind it.

Toni turned to them when they reached the door, “Thanks guys for all the help.”

“We got your back girl, you know that.”

“And have fun tonight please, you deserve it and it will do you good to get some dick. It might help you stop being so damn uptight.”

“Sage!” Toni gasped, hitting the girl’s arm while Rocky stood next to her nodding in agreeance.

“I can’t stand you guys.” Toni picked up the keys she left on the small table by the door and opened her arms, “Alright give me some loving.”

They all came in for a group hug, just like they always did back in college, “Love you hoes,” Toni murmured.

“We love you too,” Sage and Rocky said together.

*****************************************************************************************************

Pulling into the parking lot Toni texted Chris letting him know she had arrived and while she waited on his reply she stared down at her phone and went through her social media. Suddenly a knock on her window made her jolt in the seat and look up with a hand to her chest. She let out a breath when she saw it was Chris at her window, his eyebrow raised and his mouth curved into a smirk.

“Geez Chris, you scared the shit out of me,” Toni exclaimed through the closed window.

She reached next to her, to get her purse and took her keys out of the ignition, placing them and her phone into her bag. She unlocked the door and he opened it for her, a smile still residing on his lips, “My bad ma, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Toni side-eyed him as she got out, “Liar, you know damn well it’s too dark for your ass to be playing games.”

“Oh shit, don’t tell me big bad Antonia is scared of the dark.” Chris closed her car door behind her and Toni hit her key fob locking the vehicle. They began walking through the sparsely lit up parking lot, heading towards the building that had MadeYa Look Escape Room in bright lights at the front.

“Listen, frightening things live in the night, so don’t shame me.”

Chris chuckled as they walked side by side, his hands behind his back, “Nah, no shaming here baby. I used to be the same way, years ago.”

Toni felt a jolt at this new nickname, she hadn’t been called baby from the opposite sex in years and it made her feel warm inside to be hearing it from him. Toni decided to play it cool and not show how much the term of endearment affected her, but she secretly promised herself she would gush about it later in the privacy of her home.

“What made you stop being scared?” Toni asked as they finally reached the entrance.

She went to open the door but his ring covered hand was suddenly on top of hers, making her palm sweat on the cool metal of the handle, “When I became the scary thing to the monsters.”

Toni noticed the sudden shift between them as she gazed into his dark brown orbs. You would think after a statement like that she would be afraid but she felt perfectly fine, safe even. She didn’t know what to think about that, so she intended to not think about it at all.

“I forgot to tell you earlier but you look beautiful,” Chris said, his eyes not leaving hers, he was close enough that he could hear her breath stutter but didn’t comment. Toni bit her lip and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

“You got your nose pierced,” she said, surprised. Toni saw the faint glint of the piercing from the glare of the lights and even though she never dated a guy with one it was different and it fit him perfectly.

Chris took note of the change of subject but he nodded anyway and ran his tongue across his bottom lip, making it shine, “You like it?”  

“It’s cute,” She said with faux disinterest. Just like last time, with the close proximity they were in Toni could smell his cologne that was dark and subtle. They would kiss if she stood on her tiptoes.

“You ready for me to whoop your ass in this game?” Chris teased, and just like that the spell was broken and the light-hearted flirting came back into play.

Toni scoffed, grateful for the break from the tension “Please, the question is are you ready?”

With her hands still encompassed in his, they both opened the door and went to the front desk to pay and get instructions. The brunette clerk who they later learned was named Debbie was none the wiser to the something that transpired moments before, as she explained rules and questioned which room they wanted to play. While the middle-aged woman was talking, he had his hand rested on the small of Toni’s back and tried as she might she couldn’t focus on anything else but the heat of his palm. Luckily, another couple came in after them and they were able to play against the pair in the zombie apocalypse escape room. Before the game started Toni and Chris set up a bet for whoever solved the most clues even though they were on the same team. Toni ran her hand through her loose curls to put her hair up in a ponytail waiting for the countdown and noticed Chris’s outfit, “You don’t think you’ll get hot running around in your jacket?”

As per usual Chris was clad in all black but he had on a jean jacket over a black shirt this time rather than a regular button-up.  

“I’m straight,” Chris said nonchalantly. Before she could interrogate him further, Debbie’s voice came onto the intercom letting them know she was starting the countdown. Quickly, ten seconds turned to one, and the game began.

*****************************************************************************************************

The couple walked out of the room breathless and delighted with how well the game turned out. They beat the newlyweds by a landslide with one minute to spare, and unfortunately to Chris’s exasperation, Toni solved most of the clues and now she had full reign over tonight.

“Congrats guys!” The clerk complimented as she handed them two free t-shirts for winning and even offered to snap a picture of them to put on their winner board. Chris declined grumbling about how he hated taking pictures but of course, when Toni gave him puppy dog eyes and reminded him she was the captain of tonight he grudgingly relented. Only on the grounds of them taking the photo on their personal phones and that Toni promised not to rag on him the rest of the date.  

Toni gave the woman her phone already opened to the camera app and they both took their place in front of the winner’s board. She didn’t know where to position herself, not wanting to be too much in Chris’s personal space if he wasn’t comfortable with it, but he made the decision for her when he put his arm on her shoulders and brought her in close, making Toni’s palms sweat. She quickly decided to wrap her arms around his waist praying he couldn’t feel her heart practically beat out her chest when she leaned against his side. They both looked at the camera with big smiles earning an “Awww you two are adorable!” from Debbie.

As Toni went to pull away, she brushed against something solid and what felt oddly like steel under his jacket. Stepping back Toni pondered over the fact that the object that she touched was most likely a gun and that was probably the reason why he didn’t want to take off his jacket before the game.

“Here you go hun,” Debbie said, passing Toni her phone.  

Toni graciously thanked her while she took the device and tried to school her features. She knew people had guns, even her father had some locked away at his house but something about him hiding it made her stomach roll.

They went out into the cool night and Toni walked next to Chris quietly still thinking, “So where to boss, since you running shit now.”  

A beat passed and she could see Chris in her peripheral take a look at her, wondering why she wasn’t responding.

“You good mama?” He inquired.

 She was acting like such a dumb ass, it wasn’t like he was her boyfriend he didn’t have to necessarily tell her why he had a gun and she was fine when he told her the monsters were afraid of him. So why did the gun affect her so much?

Toni looked over at him seeing his brows knitted in worry and decided to push the issue aside for a second. “Yep, but the real question is are you good after that ass whooping I gave you? Mr. I’m gonna win just watch.”

Chris groaned, “I thought you promised you wasn’t gonna flame me.”

“Obviously I lied, I just wanted you to stop whining and take the damn picture.”

“Nah, I just think you wanted a pic so you could look at it and fantasize about me all the time.”

Toni snickered and pushed him, “Please, don’t flatter yourself.”  

They were still talking when they finally reached her car. Toni leaned against her door, she could see his Range a couple of spaces from hers. “So what now Antonia?”

He asked while he stood in front of her, his hands in his pockets.

“Not sick of me yet?” Toni wondered, tilting her head.

“Never that darlin’.’”

Toni cleared her throat feeling her cheeks burn, damn him, he knew exactly what the hell he was doing. Not wanting to put it off any longer she made the choice to just ask him about the gun, not wanting to proceed with the night without being in the know.  “Can I...ugh this is probably so stupid but can I ask you a question first before we leave here?”

He straightened when he heard the way she stuttered like she was worried about questioning him, “Go ahead.”

Toni crossed her arms, “You can tell me it's none of my business and honestly it’s not that big of a deal but is there a reason why you didn’t want to tell me you were carrying a gun? I felt it while we were taking the picture.”

She was expecting him to get upset about her interrogation  but his posture went lax, seeming happy that that was what she wanted to ask.

“I didn’t say anything ‘cause I wasn’t sure if it was gonna freak you out. I use it for protection only and I should have told you instead of assuming.”  

Toni sighed and rubbed her forehead, “No, I apologize it just took me by surprise is all. I knew someone that carried and it always seemed like he used it more to showcase how much of a dick he was rather than use it as a safety precaution.”

“Hey,” Chris raised Toni’s chin, making her focus on him. “Don’t ever be scared to ask me somethin’.  Even if I don’t like the question, imma always try and give you as much of the truth that I can, aight?”

“Okay,” Toni said.

“Okay,” Chris dropped his hand and grabbed Toni’s holding it in his grasp, still looking at her, “So we gonna chill in this parking lot all night or we gonna go to the next spot?”

Toni lightly squeezed his hand with a mischievous glint in her eye, “I know the perfect place.”

“Aiight then,” Chris walked to the passenger side of her car waiting, “Let’s go.”

“You’re not gonna drive your car?” Toni wrinkled her nose, puzzled whilst unlocking the car.

Chris opened the door and simply said, “Nope I trust you,” before getting into the vehicle leaving Toni speechless.

Toni let out a harsh breath and whispered “This man is too fine,” getting into the car as well. It seemed like their night had only begun.

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