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age-of-greta · 5 months ago

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The Sun

The Sun presents a feeling of optimism and fulfillment. It represents the dawn which follows the darkest of nights.

Author’s note: wow hi!!! It’s been a minute! Life has been busy, but I have been thinking of this fic for a while. This one is entirely spontaneous and will have no posting schedule. Just as soon and I can get it written it will be out. I hope you guys enjoy :)

Pairing: Josh x reader and Jake x reader

Warnings: cursing, angst, adult themes, alcoholic consumption, smoking

Word count: 10.1 k

PART 1:

“I can’t fucking stand you! Matter of fact, I hate you!” You scream, your voice raw with emotion.

He lets out a laugh. “Yeah, right back at you Sugar.”

You’re boiling inside. Filled with rage, sadness, and anger. You can’t decide which emotion is the most prominent at the moment. You blink away the hot tears that have formed in your eyes. You feel the sting of them rolling down your cheeks.

“I’m fucking done. We are done. It’s over.” You say, with still a hint of anger, but at least you weren’t screaming this time.

He stares at you for a moment. Blank expression, impossible to read. You think maybe for 0.1 seconds you see a hint of sorrow in his eyes, but with him that would be impossible.

Eventually he scoffs at you. “Fine by me.”

He stays for a few moments with his eyes lingering on you.

“Get the fuck out!” You shout, while tears spill down your face.

Then he’s out the door as fast as it started. Leaving you there in a puddle of your own tears and rage.

Nothing had ever made you feel this way before. You were unsure how you would ever feel normal again. But there was one thing that you were entirely sure of- you fucking hated Jake Kiszka.

Teal is so tacky. It’s one of the tackiest colors to exist, you had decided. That's what you were doing at this very moment staring at a teal handbag that you would like to set on fire. It was sitting on a bar next to an equally tacky girl. You realized how insane you felt, but you needed to do something to distract your mind from the truth. Tonight was your third date with a guy named Aiden. He was fine, there was nothing wrong with him. He was attractive, ambitious, successful, and nice. But a part of you knew you were already so bored with him. You never knew how to pick a good guy. Which is why you tried your best to give Aiden a fair shake. Nonetheless, here you were sitting at a booth only thinking of a teal purse. You had decided to meet for drinks after work. You wore a hot pink blazer with a white tank turtleneck and a matching hot pink skirt, that might have been a little too short for work. You wore white tall boots, with gold jewelry. Your hair was done in loose curls and you had on a full face of makeup. This wasn’t your normal attire to work, but you knew you had a date tonight. Out of the corner of your eye you see Aiden pop in. You breathe in and prepare yourself. He’s in a nice gray suit. He always looks nice.

“Hey! So sorry I’m late. Traffic was awful.” Aiden says, reaching down to hug you.

You hug him back. “Oh no you’re fine! I just got here myself. How was your day?”

He smiles at you. “It was great actually. I had a really big pitch that I think went well for me. But I’m happier now that I’m here with you. How was your day?”

You make sure to smile at that, even if it did make you cringe a little. “Well that’s great. My day was good. Rather mundane I suppose, but work feels like that everyday.”

He chuckles. “You’re right about that. Ready for some drinks? A martini right?”

You nod your head. “Yes please.”

“Great. I’ll be right back. You look beautiful by the way.” He says with a smile before he heads over to the bar.

You take a moment to breathe in a little. Aiden was so nice. You had already decided that you would go on another date with him when he would inevitably ask later. You picked at your nails while you waited for your date and drink. You eyed the door constantly, that wasn’t a good sign. It was somewhat stuffy inside, but maybe that was in your head. You were just finding something to complain about. You had been like that for a while. Anytime a man would show interest you bounced. The truth is you were looking for someone to set your soul on fire. You craved a love so deep, that even the ocean would be jealous.

Instead you got guys like Aiden. Again, nothing wrong with him. But he didn’t ignite you. You knew who was to blame, but you hated to even think of him. So you chose to do this same routine over and over. Dating- then never speaking again. It’s not like you necessarily needed a man in your life, you were perfectly content with your life as is. But you wanted excitement again. Maybe if you gave Aiden a chance he could be that for you. Though you doubted it. You continued to eye the door. It wasn’t really busy, but every now and then someone would walk in. Mostly people in suits off to commence nefarious activities, then wake up and do it all again tomorrow. That life never spoke to you, but here you were smack dab in the middle of it. Funny how life works.

You fiddled around with your nails some more, damn you needed to get them done. You glanced up and thought your eyes were playing tricks on you.

Hair.

Then he spoke.

Immediately you felt chills run down your spine. There’s a voice you hadn’t heard in years. There’s no way. You creep your head around the corner and see four very familiar faces. Your blood runs cold and your face becomes incredibly pale. Holy shit.

You whip your head back into your booth trying to stay out of their line of sight. What were they doing here? Why were they here? What?

Just then Aiden returns and hands you your martini. He frowns at you when he sees your face. “Hey, is everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

You blink a few times and nod your head. “I’m um- I’m fine.”

He sits back down across from you and takes your hand. “Are you sure?”

Just then that voice rings from right behind you. Now it’s closer.

“Oh shit. Well hey Sugar.”

You turn around and Jake is standing over you with a shit eating grin plastered on his face. You’re absolutely shocked and horrified. You try to speak but nothing comes out.

“I thought I heard your voice.” He flicks his eyes over to Aiden and extends his hand. “Hi. Jake Kiszka.”

Aiden gives him a strange look, but eventually extends his hand and says “Aiden.”

Finally you are able to muster up the courage to speak. “Jake.” You say calmly. “What are you doing here?”

He smirks at you. “I could ask you the same thing, Sugar. We were out scouting bars. We just moved here and I’ve got to say, you were the last person I was expecting to see tonight.”

You furrowed your brows while your voice goes up an octave higher. “What? You just moved here? Like from Michigan?”

Then the rest of them make their way over. You see Sam, Danny, and your old friend Josh.

Aiden clears his throat, clearly sensing your tension. “How do you guys know each other?”

Jake flicks his eyes to you and gives a wide smile. “Old friends.”

Aiden huffs a little at that. “Okay. Well looks like you have some catching up to do, with your old friends. I’ll call you tomorrow? I’d love to plan something if you’re free Saturday.”

You look back over at Aiden and nod your head.

He excuses himself and slides out of the booth.

“Bye Aiden! Lovely meeting you!” Jake yells out.

Jackass.

The other three are now approaching the table.

“Holy shit!” Sam exclaims when he sees you.

“Oh, hi Sam.”

Then you’re standing up and Sam hugs you, then Danny’s hugging you. Then you see Josh.

“Hi.” He says, standing there with his arms around his back. “Long time no see.”

You are unsure of what to say to that. “Hi Josh.”

“So, can we join you or what?” Jake asks.

You let out a breath and then motion your hand for them to all sit in your booth.

Jake scoots in right next to you. Immediately you feel the need to down your whole martini so you do.

“Whew. Damn Sugar. You okay?” Jake asks, nudging you.

You nod. “Yeah. Just wasn’t expecting such a-“ You pause. “Reunion.”

Josh smiles at you. “I can tell. Well don’t fret if it’s unpleasant for you. It’s just temporary. We are here with a new label working on an album. They decided to rent a house out to us for the next few months.”

You feel bad all of a sudden. You loved Josh. You and he had been friends for years. That was until you started dating Jake. You see, you and Josh had been friends after meeting in a coffee shop in Detroit. You had grown close with all of them, but Josh was your best friend. You two were practically inseparable. You pretty much did everything together. Then, one night you and Jake hooked up and the rest was history. It was hard on Josh. But you were too enamored by Jake to quit. You both had fallen fast and hard. Taking things way too fast, but it felt euphoric. Jake was like a drug. The highs were so high. But the lows were so low. You and Jake were only together for around 10 months. It was a toxic and crazy relationship. The only thing you and Jake were ever good at was sex. To this day no one made you come as hard as he had. But Jake acted like a selfish child. You two spent more time arguing than anything else. When you had broken up you had cut off all contact with all of them. You couldn’t bear it any longer. Josh had tried to reach out to you, but you ignored it. You wanted to forget Jake had ever existed- and that meant cutting off all people who reminded you of him. Then, you had moved to Nashville and gone on with life. You hadn’t seen or spoken to any of them since the break up.

“No it’s not that it’s unpleasant at all. Just unexpected. I never pegged you guys to settle down in… Nashville.” You said, trying to give a convincing smile.

Jake chimes in. “Settle down? We aren’t necessarily doing that. It’s temporary. I fear domesticity.”

You scoff. “Yep. I know.”

Jake laughs at you. “Good one.”

Josh changes the subject. “So what are you up to these days?”

You shift your gaze to Josh. “Well nothing as exciting as you guys. I work at a marketing firm and I have a Beta fish.”

Josh smiles at you. “That does sound exciting. Marketing huh? I can totally see it.”

You nod. “Congratulations to you all by the way on your success.”

“Thank you! We’ve been trying. It’s been a while since the garage band days.” Sam says.

“Yeah. It seems as if we’ve all grown up.” You say, still trying to push back negative feelings.

“Sam, Josh, you guys wanna go get drinks?” Danny asks, obviously trying to give you and Jake a moment to speak.

They both agree and follow Danny to the bar.

“I’ll take a whiskey on the rocks!” Jake yells to them and Sam gives him a thumbs up.

Then it’s just you two alone again. You turn around to face Jake. He’s still wearing that same smirk.

“You know Sugar, I’m digging the pink. You look good.”

You try not to let those words affect you. “Thanks.” You reply flatly.

“So, Aiden?” Jake asks.

You take a sip of the other martini on the table. “What about him?”

Jake hums. “Doesn’t really scream to me your type.”

“Oh yeah? Well what is my type?” You poke.

“Me.” Jake says and grins ear to ear.

You swig the martini again. “Funny.”

“C’mon Sugar. Lighten up. We’re just two old friends catching up.”

You pinch your face up and look at him. “Oh is that what we are?”

Jake smirks at you. “Okay well you know- ex lovers, future lovers. It’s all the same.”

You roll your eyes at him. He was always so full of charm which drove you crazy.

The other three returned with drinks in hand.

“So what are we getting up to tonight? It feels just like old times now.” Sam says with a bright smile.

You start to shut that down. “Count me out unfortunately. I have to work in the morning.”

It gets a little quiet.

“Well what are you doing this weekend?” Josh asks.

“I have pilates, but other than that I guess I’m free.” You reply.

“Does Aiden know that?” Jake teases.

You roll your eyes again.

“We have a show we’re doing this weekend. Would love if you could come and see us play after all this time.” Josh adds.

You pause for a minute, contemplating your options. But you didn’t want to seem so abrasive to Josh, you really did feel bad for ghosting him the way that you did. “Yeah, that sounds fun. I’ll be there.”

Josh smiles at you. “Great.”

“We can have a pass up front for you. Then I guess maybe uh Jake could text you the details?” Sam says cautiously.

Jake chuckles. “I’m blocked.”

Sam falls quiet, fearing maybe he had stirred something up between the two of you.

You try to lighten the situation. “Oh yeah? How do you know that?”

Jake shrugged. “I’ve reached out here and there. It’s never gone through.”

Yikes.

You clear your throat. “Josh? Do you still have my number? If not I can text you.”

“I’ve still got it.” Josh says lightly.

You half smile. “Great. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to slip out of here. It was truly great seeing you guys.”

“Care if I walk you out?” Josh asks.

You weren’t really expecting that.

“Oh yeah sure.” You reply.

You smile and nod everyone else off and Jake has that same smirk on his face.

“See ya soon Sugar.” Jake says, eyeing you up and down.

“Jake.” Is all you say with a nod.

Then you and Josh are walking out of the bar. It’s definitely awkward and there’s so much to be said, but you’re so unsure where to start.

“I’m just right here.” You say motioning over towards your car. “Thank you for walking me.”

Josh gives you a small smile. “So if I text you are you actually going to respond?”

Ouch.

“Josh I-“ You start.

He holds his hand up to you. “I’m only teasing. I know it was a weird situation.”

There was the sweet and understanding Josh he had always been. “It was. But there was still no excuse for me to do what I did to you.”

Josh shakes his head. “Consider it water under the bridge.”

You give a small sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“I’ll see you Saturday?” Josh questions.

You nod. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Josh smiles. “Good.”

“Hug?” You say extending your arms out.

Josh obliged and stepped in and hugged you. It felt like comfort. You smiled into his shirt. When you both let each other go. Josh was reciprocating that smile.

“I’m glad I ran into you tonight. Get home safe.”

“Me too. Bye Josh.”

“Bye.”

Then he stood outside and watched you pull out, waving you off.

Your head was running a million miles an hour. What just happened? You felt like you wanted to vomit, half bile, half rainbows. All you knew was that now you had to prepare for a Saturday with your ex-boyfriend, old best friend, and their band.

Saturday had rolled around quicker than you had anticipated. You huffed as you threw your pilates bag into your car. In a way you were ready to work out all of the anxiousness and frustration you felt. Your pilates studio wasn’t too far from your townhouse. It was in an upscale little plaza next to a smoothie shop, which you would definitely be taking advantage of after. Once you arrived you checked into your class and rolled out your mat. You took a few deep breaths and adjusted your attire. You wore a rather loud pair of green leggings that fit you like tights, and a white sports bra top. You unlaced your white sneakers, letting your bare feet hit the mat. You felt grounded, drained of negative energy. Pilates was always an outlet for your stress, better that than alcohol.

After an intense session you felt reborn. You rolled up your mat and hit the locker room, splashing cold water on your face. You took your hair down and watched it cascade down your shoulders, it had gotten so long. You dried your face with a clean towel and wiped the sweat from your hairline. You rolled on some deodorant and you were vibrating with excitement at the thought of the peanut butter banana protein smoothie you were about to inhale. After dropping off your items in your car you walked with some pep in your step to the entrance of the smoothie cafe only to be met with confusion.

Jake?

He saw you through the door as soon as you saw him, his face lighting up with a smile as he got up to meet you at the door.

“Hey Sug. What a pleasant surprise.” He greeted, as you stepped in.

“Are you stalking me?” You ask, half serious.

He lets out a chuckle. “You wish. No, Josh and I are here meeting with our social media manager. She wanted smoothies, but I’ve got to say I was hoping this pilates studio next door was the one you frequented.”

You glance around him and see Josh at the table giving you a wave while a blonde girl scrolled through a laptop.

“So why this smoothie place? Did you search for one closest to a pilates studio?” You ask in an accusatory tone.

“You overestimate me Sug. This was just the closest one to our house.” He replies coolly.

“Closest?” You ask with pinched brows.

“Yeah. Our house is somewhat secluded I guess. It’s a few miles behind that block of townhomes.”

“Motherfucker.” You whisper.

Jake looks at you strangely. “What?”

”Nothing.” You say dismissively.

He cracks that annoyingly perfect smile at you. “Don’t tell me you live close to there?”

You glance up at him, always finding it hard to lie to him “I do.”

”Well I’ll be damned. What does fate have in store for us Sug?” He asks through a smirk.

You scoff at him. He was ridiculous.

“Let me at least buy you a smoothie and you can come join us.” Jake offers.

You make a face at him. “I don’t need you to buy my smoothie Jake.”

He cracks a smile at you and places his hand on your lower back ushering you towards the ordering station. “I know you don’t need me to. But I want to. Y’know good karma and all.”

You scoff. “It would take a lot more than a smoothie to give you good karma.”

He lets out a small laugh. “You’re right.”

You two order and stand by the counter while you’re waiting on all of the smoothies. He had ordered one for him, Josh, and the laptop girl too.

You try to tune Jake out but you can feel his eyes burning into you.

“What?” You ask, looking over at him.

“Ah nothing. I thought pink was your color, but it might be green.” He suggests with a smirk, while nodding his head towards your tight green leggings that are practically painted on you.

You roll your eyes but feel your face flushing red. Thankfully, they call your order number up and you grab your smoothie and Josh’s while Jake waits for whatever else he ordered. You walk towards the booth and are greeted with a smiley Josh. You decide to slide in next to him, the blonde girl barely looks up from her computer.

“Ah I thought that was you. I didn’t know you would be joining us this morning?” Josh questions, almost as if he would believe that you and Jake had planned this.

You lightly laughed at that notion. “Yeah me either. My pilates studio is next door. I come here religiously for these protein shakes.”

“Pilates and protein? What happened to my beer and mac & cheese girl?” He teases with a bright smile.

You huff a laugh, but before you can respond Jake comes buzzing over to the table. “Here ya go Dev.” Jake says, sliding over to the blonde girl who was so wrapped up in her computer. However, that’s not the case anymore.

She flashes a smile to Jake. “Oh thank you Jake.” She says, her voice thick with sweetness.

Oh she likes him. You can tell by the way her eyes light up when she sees him. You get it, you really do. But why is it bothering you?

Josh clears his throat. “Okay, well maybe proper introductions are in order here? Devan this is y/n. We all go way back.”

Jake snickers at that. “Yeah, way back.”

You flick a brief look of judgment at Jake, but you notice your heart rate quicken.

“Yes… and this is Devan, she is our newly hired social media coordinator. She’s brilliant. I figured you two might have some common ground with your marketing career?” Josh offers.

Devan meets your eyes. She’s pretty. Moderately short dirty blonde hair with platinum highlights, blue eyes lined perfectly with black eyeliner and encased in black rimmed large eye glasses. You weren’t sure if they were for seeing or fashion, but they looked great on her. She was trendy in a business casual way. Very much a Nashville girl.

You flashed her a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Devan.”

She offers you a tight lipped smile before averting her eyes back to her computer. “Mhm likewise.”

Oh. You would completely understand her demeanor had she behaved like this the whole time. Work is work. However, she lit up like a Christmas tree for Jake. So you were led to believe that you and her would not be making each other friendship bracelets anytime soon.

“Jake, can you tell me what you think of this filter?” Devan asks in that sickeningly sweet voice again.

Jake glances up at you slightly with a grin and scoots closer to Devan. He brushes his hand with hers as he scrolls on the mousepad and you see her cheeks dust with pink. “Oh wow. Devan this is beautiful. We really are so lucky to have hired you.” He says nudging her shoulder. “Josh, look at this.”

Jake spins the computer around and you glance at the photo. It’s a fucking black and white picture with grain. You now know Jake is trying to put on an act since you’re here.

Josh purses his lips. “Yeah… absolutely. Looks great.”

He has always been so kind.

Your attention is diverted when your phone starts to vibrate on the table.

Aiden Rodgers flashes upon your screen and Jake sees it before you do.

“Sorry guys. I’m going to get out of here and take this call.” You look over directly to Josh. “I’ll see you later?”

Josh gives you a polite smile. “Yeah of course.”

You grab your phone that’s still lighting up the table and glance up at Jake before shuffling out of the booth.

“See you tonight. Do feel free to bring Aiden, Sug.” Jake says with a sly smile.

You make a face at him. Why did he always manage to get under your skin? As you walked off you took a deep breath and answered your phone.

Lunch with Aiden went perfectly well. You had fibbed a little and said that you had a family thing come up for the evening, so Aiden offered lunch. He took you to a cute little patio restaurant where you indulged in a salmon and goat cheese salad with a lemon blueberry mojito. He was funny and charming. But you couldn’t help but let your mind drift elsewhere while he was speaking. You sent Aiden off with a hug and a promise to call him soon. Now you sat in your living room nursing a wine cooler contemplating what you would even wear tonight. What is the attire for attending your rockstar ex-boyfriend’s concert? Part of you wanted to bail on the whole night and not even go, but you couldn’t do that to Josh. Despite all of the shit with Jake, Josh was always there for you. It was about time you showed some reciprocation after all this time.

You groaned and peeled yourself off of your couch. There was a laundry list of things that needed to be done before tonight and you had better get started. Your phone buzzed whilst you were in the middle of an everything shower. When you climbed out you check it immediately to see a text from Josh:

After party tonight at our house. Would love for you to come and you’re more than welcome to stay. Pack a swimsuit!

You felt a swirl of emotions hit you. You missed them and you knew going would be fun. But were you ready to be around Jake for longer than 10 minutes? You dried off and tried to do anything but contemplate how the night might play out. Once you had completed all of your skincare, you threw your hair up to dry in a turban towel and picked through your closet. You fingered through your dresses, business casual blouses, and blazers. Nothing spoke to you. Then, it hit you.

Black.

Jake had said he loved you in pink and green, but you still remember the way he trembled when you wore black. You tried to reason with yourself that the sole reason you were choosing your outfit was not based on him, but you were drawing blanks.

Once you applied sultry makeup and put bouncing curls in your hair you were ready to get dressed. You picked up your lingerie-esk black see through cami adorned with lace. It was entirely sheer except for the front. You decided to pair it with a longer silk black skirt with a high slit and black strappy heels. Once, you were dressed, you accessorized and sprayed yourself with a perfume that made you smell like a walking dessert. You might have taken a liquid shot of courage before you got into your Uber to head to the venue.

There was a line of fans outside and you smiled to yourself knowing that their dream was coming to fruition. You clicked your heels on the pavement up towards the box office, carrying your small duffle bag and gave them your name. You were given a lanyard and entrance to the side door where a rather muscular man led you down empty hallways. He smiled and attempted to strike a flirty conversation with you while taking your bag to carry it, but you were already bored of him as he droned on about how important he was. Finally you had made it to a lounge area where you saw Danny rummaging through the fridge with Sam hot on his heels. You laughed to yourself at a memory that had come to mind seeing the scene before you. Josh had always called them tweedle dee and tweedle dumb in the most endearing way. Where there was one the other surely would be in tow.

“Y/n! Hey! You look hot!” Sam yelled, rather loudly as soon as he noticed your presence.

“I believe this is where I leave you ma’am.” Muscles said, sitting your bag down on a chair. “If you require my assistance later or need help getting to your seat, here’s my number.”

You politely accepted his small slip of paper and tried to pretend like you didn’t see his wink.

“You made it!” Josh stated enthusiastically heading your way.

You wrapped him in a warm embrace. “I’m done dodging you.”

He smiled at those words. “Promise?”

”Pinky.” You said, extending your finger out towards him.

This was something you and Josh had done in the past. The most serious of vows, your pinky promises.

You saw his heart swell at your action, happy to have his best friend back. That was short lived when you felt a cloud come into the room. You could sense his eyes on you.

“Want a drink?” Josh asked, nodding towards the small wet bar.

“Just a vodka soda please.”

As one twin left you, another approached. Jake didn’t say a word as he took you in with his eyes. Scanning you up and down no doubtably undressing you with his eyes. You tried not to let that affect you.

”Jake.”

He nodded towards you. “Sugar. You look… just wow. Takes me back to a different time.”

Your face slightly reddens at his admission. You expected more of a sleazy conversation from Jake rather than an unintentional trip down memory lane.

The mood shifts entirely when Josh comes back with a vodka soda and two limes.

“You remembered.” You say to Josh with a smile, gesturing towards the extra lime.

“Of course. How could I forget?” He replies with a grin.

Jake clears his throat. “Well glad you could make it. We have a hell of a show tonight and I assume you’ll be at our house later of course for the party?”

You give a quick glance to Josh, who is looking at you hopefully. “Yep. I’ll be there.”

Jake flashes you a mischievous grin. “Excellent. Enjoy yourself tonight Sug.” Then he heads off to converse with one of his technicians.

“Rather brooding isn’t he?” Josh jabs.

You snicker at that. “I’ll say.”

Josh turns towards you and places a hand on your back. “I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you.”

A wave of guilt mixed with sentimentality rushes through your veins. You loved Josh. No matter what happened with Jake, he was still that beautiful shining beacon of light for you. It was then you had decided to focus on him rather than concern yourself with whatever Jake may do. “I missed you too Josh, so much.”

“Alright everyone! Openers are about to go on. I need you all dressed and ready to shoot some social media content in ten!”

You glance across the room and see Devan with an iPad in hand. She was wearing a similar stylish business casual outfit like she had previously worn. When she finally looked up from her screen she noticed you immediately and gave a harsh face. It was brief, but you had caught it.

“Devan can we push this back a little? Y/n just got here and I’d like to show her around.” Josh asks.

Devan makes a face a Josh before tapping furiously on her tablet. “Eh sorry no can do Josh. The best I could do is an additional fifteen minutes but that will cut into Danny’s tik tok later. Besides, we need to make sure we are staying somewhat confidential with our filming so that nothing gets leaked.”

You felt a pit form in your stomach. She didn’t want you around and you were intruding on their work.

“Uh Devan she’s basically family.” Sam chimes in. “She wouldn’t dare leak anything.”

“No, it’s fine!” You try to say as nonchalant as possible. “I wanted to catch some of the opening act anyway. You guys go and get dressed and do your thing.”

Josh gives you a sad look, but eventually nods on.

“I’ll call that security guard to come fetch you. Oh! Jake! I need your feedback on something.” Devan says, hurrying over towards Jake who looks at you with raised brows.

“One sec Dev. Gonna walk y/n to her seat.” He says, shuffling past her.

He walks up to you with a pleased smile and sticks his arm out. “Shall we?”

You give him a pointed look and huff before grabbing his arm. “Break a leg.” You say to Josh with a smile.

He gives you a half hearted smile back and nods. You wondered why his mood had seemed to change, but Jake’s voice quickly snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Excited?”

You hum. “I supposed. Eager to see how much you’ve all changed.”

Jake chews on his cheeks before he speaks. “I guess we all have… changed quite a bit. Grew up a little.”

You laugh. “Oh, have you? That seems far-fetched for some of you.”

He huffs a laugh back. “You’re talking about Sam right?”

“Oh most definitely.” You snicker, but can’t hide the smile that creeps out. “You didn’t have to walk me, you know. I can manage.”

“And leave that meathead to try and sweep you off your feet? No way Sugar, I’m the only one who can do that. Besides, these halls can be empty. No one around. Private really.” He retorts with a shit eating grin.

There he is. You roll your eyes. “Oh Jake, you really always have been ever so charming.”

“You flatter me. But in all honesty it can be difficult to navigate around backstage. When we first started playing at bigger venues I would get lost just trying to find somewhere to smoke a fucking cigarette.”

“Cigarettes? That’s a nasty little habit.” You say with faux disapproval.

He turns towards you and sets his eyes on yours. “Quite. Sometimes the things that can hurt you the most are what you want more than anything. You crave it.”

You feel your heartbeat quicken at that statement. Your chest starts to blaze with an indescribable feeling, but before you can respond you’re interrupted.

“VIP guest? I’ll usher her over to side stage.” A crew member says approaching you and Jake.

Jake clears his throat and nods at the man. “Yep, thank you.”

Then he turns away and heads in the opposite direction without looking back at you. You felt your brain spinning as you blinked to come back to reality. You were taken to your seat where you were surprisingly close to the stage. You weren’t necessarily in seats, but had a foldout chair side stage on the floor. Your mind drifted to what they might play and if Jake played with as much passion as he used to. When you two had dated you were mesmerized watching him play. His dedication, his intensity, the way his body swayed around that guitar, the facial expressions, the sweat, his…hands. Stop. You couldn’t think that way. That time was over. You have moved on. You were over Jake. Right? You hated him. Didn’t you? You massaged your temples and requested a drink from a crew member. When it arrived you nursed the burning liquid in attempt to suppress whatever in the hell your psyche was feeling. You tried to concentrate on the openers, but before you knew it their set was over and you were left thinking what the next setlist might be. Since you went no contact, you did not go out of your way to search for them or their music. You only know the early days. The early days. Would they play it? Your song? They used to play it all the time. A catchy song written drunkenly by Jake and Josh one night when they were younger, but you were the driven force behind its publication. They played it all the time. It was a great jam song, but no one knew Jake had dedicated it to you. Anxiousness swirled in your stomach as you anticipated the mere minutes before they would take to the stage. You had to admit there was quite a turn out. They had fans and not just casual ones either. A part of you felt proud while another solem that you had missed the build up to this moment.

The lights dimmed and cheering ensued. Then you heard those familiar chords billow through the speaker. It couldn’t be. Your song? They started with your song? Josh’s wailing fills the venue and Jake’s fingers move at lightning speed to match his twin. Highway Tune. Your song.

So sweet. So fine. So nice. Oh my.

Jake used to jokingly say this to you all the time. Your body betrayed you as you swayed to that ever so familiar sound, the build up to the catchiest little riff that has haunted you for years. For a moment Jake’s eyes meet yours and a bright smile appears on his face followed by a wink. He knew what he was doing. The song comes to a close and you hold your breath in anticipation to see if they do it. Danny beats the skin off of his drums, Sam plucks wildly at his bass, Jake strums and struts, you see Josh take a breath and then look at you before the close out.

Sugarrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

You were reeling after the last two hours of whatever that was. A rush of conflicting emotions assaults all of your senses as you make your way backstage. Starting off with your song and then you heard a song that made a pit form in your stomach. You’re The One. Was that about you? Timeline wise it would make sense. You wouldn’t dare ask in fear of being embarrassed if it wasn’t about you. But you had a gut feeling that it was.

All of a sudden they all rush back into the green room high off adrenaline.

“So, what did you think?” Danny asks, grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat from his chest.

“You guys were phenomenal. Seriously, I was blown away.”

Danny smiles, clearly pleased with your answer while Sam pulls you into his side for a hug.

“Feels so nostalgic in here huh?”

You let out a small laugh. “Sure does Sammy.”

“Nostalgia for sure Sug.” Jake says, pressing a freshly poured glass of some dark liquid to his lips. His eyes are intense as they study you, trying to see if there’s any falter behind you.

You breath out when you see Josh and take the opportunity to get you out of this weird eye contact that you have with Jake. “Josh! Oh my god, your voice! You were absolutely amazing. So grown up now.”

He smiles sweetly at you. “You’re too kind. It’s been a work in progress for a while.”

“I can tell. I always knew you were talented but I just- wow.”

He blushes slightly at that.

“Yeah yeah enough of the love fest. Can we please go home and start drinking?” Sam says in a faux annoyed tone while sending you a wink.

“Don’t have to ask me twice. Wanna ride with me Sug?” Jake asks looking towards you with raised eyebrows

You swallow thickly at that. “I’ll hang back with Josh. Gotta find my bags anyway.”

“Suit yourself.”

“Josh!” You say in a fit of giggles as he matches your laughs.

“What? It’s true! He absolutely looked like he was snorting steroids.”

You and Josh had left the venue and were headed back to the house. You thought you would be anxious, but neither you nor Josh had shut up or quit laughing. It all felt so natural, just like it once did.

“We’re just around this corner here.” He says, whipping his jeep to the left.

“Josh.” You start. “I have a confession.”

He raises his eyebrows at you. “Yeah?”

“See those trees back there? Just to the right of that little park?”

He quints and nods.

“I live back there.”

His mouth falls open. “No shit?”

You laugh and nod. “I’m so serious! I live in one of those townhomes. That’s why I was so weirded out when I ran into you guys at the smoothie cafe.”

Josh grins and taps the steering wheel. “Hell. Small world. Who would have thought?”

“It’s the universe bringing us back together Joshy.” You say playfully giving his arm a light tap.

His grin turns into a full on smile at that. “I’ll hold you to that.”

When you arrived Josh grabbed your bag and ushered you inside. The house was quite big, definitely bigger than your townhome. There was loud music blasting inside and a slew of bodies which didn’t look familiar to you.

“Wanna take this to my room?” Josh yells over the music.

You nod and grab his hand as he leads you up the stairs.

“Shit it’s loud down there. I’m going to fix that when we get back there. I don’t wear earpieces to protect my ears on stage only to have it ruined at a shitty house party.” Josh says, as he shuts his door.

His room is so very Josh. There’s a white plush king bed in the center, perfectly made. A John Denver poster hangs on a blank wall with a few plants scattered around. But your favorite feature is a small reading nook that Josh has made out of his relatively small windowsill.

“Josh, this is so cute.” You say, running your fingers through his books. You two had always been avid readers and you were delighted to see his new found fame hadn’t changed him.

He gives you a bashful grin. “I guess. I just need a space that’s just for me. Somewhere to escape from the normal insanity that is my life.”

You shrug at him. “Understandable. The reason I chose the townhome I’m in is solely because of a clawfoot tub in my bathroom. I will sit in that thing for hours after a long day at work.”

“You still stay in there long enough to be a mermaid?”

You nod and smile. Josh use to always call you a mermaid because of your extensive baths.

“Ready to head down? I’ve got to kill this music before we get the damn cops called on us.”

You agree and follow him down the stairs. He introduces you to a few dozen people who you couldn’t possibly remember before taking two tequila shots. He throws you a seltzers and a leaves you with a promise to return as soon as he gets the music turned down. You sip on your drink as you can feel the two shots of tequila already working it’s way into your system. You took the time to walk around the house and explore. Careful to avoid any unwanted interactions. You finally found yourself in a small corner of the living room observing some vinyl that was hanging. It seems their collection had almost doubled since you last saw it.

You weren’t alone for long when you felt his presence near you. It was magnetic the way you two had always gravitated towards one another and you knew he was fighting that pull just as much as you had.

“Enjoying yourself Sugar?” Jake asks, leaning in closer than necessary so you can hear him. Immediately you can smell the booze on him. Was he trying to drink away the feelings he felt just like you were?

“Having a splendid time Jacob. Thank you.” You reply, cordially.

He laughs and presses his back up to the wall, observing the party with you. “Why do I always find you in a corner by yourself? You should be out there mingling and mixing.” He teases.

You scoff. “We all aren’t social butterflies like you I suppose.”

Jake turns back and leans in closer to you. “Don’t play coy with me Sug. Don’t forget, I know you. You are very personable. Dare I say charming even?”

You take this opportunity to poke back at him. “Charming? I think I use my charm a little bit differently than you.”

He clicks his tongue and brings his glass up to his lips. “Whatever do you mean?”

“I use my charm simply in a way that any human would; for the purpose of social interaction. Right? You use your charm to try and get panties to drop. So why are you lecturing me? You need to get out there and mix and mingle instead of standing in this corner.”

Jake studies you as you speak and takes a step even closer. He stares directly in your eyes, his slightly red and half-lidded. “Fair, but there’s only one person here that I want to try that charm out with.”

You tried not to flinch at his words, but that hit you like a bullet train. “Yeah?”

He leaned down, bracing himself on the wall. “Yeah.” He whispers into your neck. His hot breath fanning on a sweet spot that caused goosebumps to form everywhere. “And I can only get to her in this corner. Unless of course she would like to accompany me upstairs? We could do a lot of mixing and mingling up there.”

Fuck.

You feel a rush in your chest as Jake’s eyes bounce from your eyes to your lips.

Oh but his lips.

Slightly wet from nursing his drink, but so perfectly plump and pink. You tried to remember how they felt when they used to graze every inch of your skin. That thought alone sent shivers down your spine. You felt frozen in time as your heart was thudding. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system or maybe it was the burning sensation of lust coursing through your veins, but you were going to kiss him. No you were going to fuck him. You didn’t care, all of your inhibitions had long flown out the window. You stared back at him intently and fluttered your eyes tilting your head forward. He leaned in slowly and parted his lips. You followed suit. His nose brushed yours and electricity shot down your spine. This was it.

“Jake!”

Damnit.

You both spun around to see Josh heading your way. Jake huffed a few curse words under his breath as you instinctively took a step back.

Josh makes his way over to you and runs his fingers through his hair. “Thank god I found you. That redhead is looking for you. She’s been following me around for the last few minutes. Something about plans you had?”

Redhead?

Your stomach sinks slightly at that and you feel embarrassed that it did. Of course he has little flings or hell even multiple girlfriends.

Jake cocks his head at his twin and narrows his eyes at him. Almost like he cannot believe what he just said. There’s a long pause of silence between the two of them, neither breaking eye contact from the other.

Finally, Jake lets out a huff and glances back at you before walking off.

You were now beyond grateful that Josh cockblocked you.

“Such a sour puss. You ready to go swimming?” Josh asks you with a grin.

You match his. “Absolutely.”

You stared at yourself in the mirror feeling a little self conscious as you took in your body in the black bikini. Jake hadn’t seen your body in a while. Not since you had become more womanly and of course the months of pilates classes. You knew you looked attractive, sure but you still had those voices inside your head criticizing every imperfection. You massaged your temples to get out of your own head and threw on a large Nirvana t-shirt with some leather flip flops before leaving Josh’s bathroom.

“Ready?” He asked you, sitting patiently in his windowsill. “I got us towels.”

You let out a small laugh. “Thank you. Yes, let's go.”

You and Josh descend the stairs and head outside. There’s a decent amount of people there. You don’t scan around looking for Jake, instead keeping your eyes on Josh as he plops your towels down on a chair. He’s wearing light orange swim trunks that match his tan perfectly. It’s just now that you realize how fit he looks. He has really filled out since you last saw him.

You take off your t-shirt and slide off your flip flops, placing them all on the chair. When you glance up your eyes meet Jake’s. He’s staring at you, mouth slightly agape. He’s in the pool, with a fair skinned girl with red hair laughing and straddling him. Her arms are on his shoulders and instantly jealousy creeps down your spine. Why were you jealous? You couldn’t say, but you were. You peeled your eyes away from Jake and headed towards Josh, who was at the cooler fetching you drinks.

“Hot tub?” You ask him walking up behind him.

“Oh yeah sure-“ He turns around and his eyes scan your body. He’s not being nonchalant about it and when he catches himself his face dusts red and he clears his throat. “Yeah hot tub it is.”

You and Josh pad your way to the hot tub, opposite to where Jake and the red head were. You see Sam sitting in there animatedly speaking to Danny. You giggle because you can tell he’s intoxicated.

“Wow wow wow!” Sam whistles wildly at you two approaching. “Josh, you look incredible!”

Josh laughs at his brothers antics while taking your hand to help you climb into the hot tub. The warm water goes from slightly uncomfortable to pleasant the more you sink down in it. You crack your watermelon tequila seltzer and cheers with Josh as you get settled, opting to share a jet together.

“Sammy boy, how much have you had to drink tonight?” Josh pokes.

He throws his hand up at you two. “I lost count. I’m just trying to celebrate! Enjoy the lovely night with lovely people!”

Danny groaned at the end of that sentence and handed Sam a bottle of water. “Drink this.”

“Ah! The gang’s all back together. Where’s Jake? I’m surprised he peeled himself away from you.” Sam giggles. “He was eye fucking you all night on that stage.”

It got quiet.

“He’s in the pool.” Danny offers, bluntly.

Sam cranes his head around to look for his older brother. “Oh. Shit. Is that one Holly or Katie?”

“Holly.” Josh interjects. “Katie is the other one.”

Other one.

Sam sucks in his cheeks and turns towards you. “Sorry. I know that might be awkward for you. It’s nothing serious.”

You let out a laugh. “It’s okay Sam. It doesn't bother me.” You lie. “That was a long time ago.”

“Sam, no one was thinking that. You’re the one making things weird.” Danny says through a laugh.

Sam lets out a breath. “Pshhhhhh. Nope. Come on we all remember how they used to-“

“Sam!” Josh snaps, somewhat abruptly. “Let it be. Can we not traumatize her again?”

You play it off. “It’s fine I promise. But tell me about this house? It’s insane! You guys are living here for how long?”

Josh faces you. “It is. I’m very grateful they gave us such a big place to write this album. We used to go in the smallest cabins in the woods and hold up for weeks. But I think we should be here for at least a good six to nine months.”

You swallow at that. How would you be around them or him for that long? “Wow. Sounds like you guys will be busy then.”

Danny rolls his eyes. “We would be if we could stay on topic.”

You smile at that. “Not much has changed, has it?”

Sam sips his water. “Not even a little bit.”

Eventually the party had died down and the crowd began to disperse. Danny and Sam were on cleanup duty while you and Josh both quickly took a rinse shower and put dry clothes back on. You were done first, so you decided to head back down wearing gray sweat shorts with a white cropped tank. Your hair was slightly damp and had curled up significantly.

“Need any help?” You ask Sam as you see him throwing cups on a trash bag.

“That would be great.” He offers with a big smile.

You get to work and grab a bottle of cleaning solution with paper towels and being spraying and wiping down the sticky surfaces, while Sam finishes picking up trash and begins to sweep.

“You’re too sweet, you know that? I’ve always thought so.”

You giggle at his drunk confessional. “Thank you Sammy. So are you.”

He shrugs. “I guess. I’m sorry if I made you upset earlier. I’m just glad to see that you don’t have an achy Jakey heart.”

You can’t help but laugh at that one. “It’s okay, really. I’m a big girl.”

Sam grins at you. “I know you are. But for what it’s worth, he hasn’t really been the same since- you know. Despite how he acts it really fucked him up. He never said a word to indicate it, but we could all tell. I’m sure you heard that song tonight. He would absolutely kill me for saying all of this to you right now, but I feel like you should know it. If for nothing but closure. Fuck, I know I’m drunk and I’m oversharing here.”

You feel like the wind has been sucked out of you. A pool of emotions you absolutely cannot identify swirl in you. Does Jake have feelings for you? After all this time? That song? Were you right?

You’re interrupted abruptly by Josh climbing down the stairs. “Sammy, why do you have our guest working?”

Sam clears his throat, trying to drop all of the conversation that had just occurred between you two. “She volunteered because she is kind. Unlike a certain diva I know.”

“Please. Jake and I have the next clean up- that was the agreement.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Yeah yeah. Help me take this trash out.”

Josh gives you a head nod as he grabs two bags of trash and walks with Sam towards the door.

Then you’re left in your own thoughts, absentmindedly putting away things that you have no idea where they go.

“So who are you?”

You whip your head around to see redhead approaching you. She’s still in her neon pink bikini tracking pools of water on the floors Sam had just cleaned.

You try not to narrow your eyes at her as you tell her your name. “Old friend of theirs.”

She takes in what you say. “Hm, old friend? I don’t think I’ve ever heard them talk about you.”

You’re a bit taken back by her nastiness. “And you are?”

“Holly.” She says with a smile. “Jake’s good friend. Thank you for helping clean up and all, but the party’s over. I think we’ll get it from here.”

Okay now you narrow your eyes at her. She doesn’t know you and you have a good inkling she doesn’t know how much of good friends you and Jake used to be. “Appreciate your tip and all, but I’m staying here tonight.”

She makes a face at you. “What are you taking the couch or something?”

“No.” Josh’s voice peaks from behind you. “Not that’s it’s any of your concern, but she’s staying with me.”

She drops a considerable amount of attitude with Josh in the room. “Oh! No, yeah I just didn’t know.”

She heads back outside as Josh scoffs. “Don’t worry about her.”

You flash him a smile. “What? She seems so friendly.”

He nudges your shoulder. “You have no idea.”

You and Josh had decided to go outside to make sure everything else was done before you had retired to bed. You found Jake sitting in a chair with redhead practically on top of him. His eyes found yours when you stepped outside, but you looked away quickly and refused to look back.

“Is Sam making a fucking fire?” Josh asks through a laugh.

Danny walks by and places his hand on Josh’s shoulder. “Indeed he is. Something about old times sake and a card game?”

A smile spreads across your face. “Rummy? That’s what we used to all play when we were high out of our minds.”

“Bingo!” Sam yells from a distance. “And you’re in luck baby because look what I have!” He holds up a sandwich bag full of joints.

You shake your head and smile at Josh. “Oh my god.”

He throws his arm around you. “Are you up for this?”

You think about it for a second. Contemplating being around Jake and redhead even longer. You didn’t want to be a buzzkill though, so you bit your lip and nodded your head.

You all eventually gathered around the table. You seated yourself next to Josh and Sam, trying to steer away from Jake. It was to no use when he sat down directly in front of you. His eyes bore into yours, but again you wouldn’t look at him.

“Wanna shuffle Sug?” Jake asks you, attempting to hand the cards in your direction.

You can see redhead squish her face up at the pet name.

“Sure.” You take the cards and begin to shuffle them around before dealing.

Sam lights up and starts to pass the joints around. You collect your cards and take a joint from Josh, watching him take a drag. You bring the joint to your lips and take a small hit, not wanting to do too much for the night. The smoke fills your lungs and you feel that light sensation rush to your head. You close your eyes and exhale, deciding to take another puff before passing it back to Sam. It’s not long until all of you are red eyed and smiley. The first few games were won by you and Danny, then the cards got tossed to the side stories began to flow. At this point the cotton mouth began to set it.

“Gonna go grab a bottle of water. Want one?” You turn to Josh.

He gives you a smile. “Please.”

You head towards the house and go to the bathroom first, relieving your bladder. You wash your hands and stare at the mirror, trying to fix the slight black smudge under your eyes. You were tired and ready to call it a night. Once you headed back into the kitchen you were startled by a body standing there.

“Fuck! Jake, you scared me.”

He laughs. “Sorry Sugar. Just wanted to come and check on you.”

“I’m fine.”

“You are.” His voice was like velvet. He was always somehow more attractive when he was stoned.

“Careful Jake. Don’t want your friend out there to hear.” You say nonchalantly, grabbing two bottles of water.

Jake gives you a devilish grin and steps closer. Backing you up into the countertops. “Oh come on now Sugar. Just say the words and she’s gone.”

You look up at him, studying that beautiful face. “I’m good actually.”

You shimmy out from underneath him heading back outside to Josh. You let out a deep breath before returning to the group.

“Thanks love.” Josh says, taking the bottle from you.

Jake returns to the group not uttering a word.

“I’m tired.” You announce to Josh.

“Yeah me too.” Redhead states. “Jake can we go to bed babe?”

You glance up at him. He looks at you with raised eyebrows, almost asking you. You avoid his glance and he mutters a “yeah” towards her. It sort of felt like a stab to your gut, but you wouldn’t give it any attention.

“Good night guys!” Redhead yells, toting Jake’s arm all the way inside.

You and Josh helped put the fire out before heading back inside.

“What a damn day.” Josh jokes, handing you toothpaste to put on your toothbrush.

You huff a laugh. “Tell me about it. Also I’m freezing, why is it so cold in here?”

“Daniel insists we keep the house at a crisp 68. Michigan blood isn’t used to this Tennessee heat.”

You snicker. “You would all boil if you came to my place.”

“You’ve adapted well I see.”

You shrug. “I’ve always preferred to be closer to The Sun I guess. Makes me happy.”

Josh smiles at you. “I know what you mean.”

You both brush your teeth side by side. A part of it felt so domestic, like it was something that you two had done every night forever. You chalk it off to being high and climb into bed with your once best friend.

You snuggled down into his plush sheets and both crack a few jokes before drifting off to sleep. Somehow, Josh’s arm found it’s way wrapped around you. You were no longer freezing; you were now warm.

Both inside and out.

***

Thank you for reading :)

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