#ai story lab
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mauiminds · 6 days ago
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I spy... a lot of textbooks that are super out of date.
I wonder... what can we do with the old textbooks?
How might we... turn old knowledge into new tools?
Join me in the Unschool of Generativity at Maui Mind Academy
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allmightyscroll-swag · 5 months ago
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Attempting art fight this year so I might as well show off this oc ref i finished today
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Everyone meet PC, my stupid yet tragic son. He controls a facility GLaDOS style except he doesn't kill people just puts them in tubes for better or for worse
doodle under cut
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This guy is so fucked up his limbs don't even connect
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dullahandyke · 6 months ago
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sidenote speaking of polls that infuriated me, that poll like 'does a story require themes to be good' was sent from hell to kill me
#everyone taking it as an object lesson in Reading Comprehension this website's favourite fuckin phrase#meanwhile the wording immediately captivated me as a word puzzle#'does a story require themes to be good' immediately dinged in my mind as a hypothetical#and that was way more interesting than the discourse 2 me#like in my mind its not a question of 'do good stories have themes' like duh doy the answer is yes#i saw it as 'does a story REQUIRE themes'#as in 'would a hypothetical lab-made story with no themes be discounted from being a story due to its lack of themes'#and that was fun and u guys had to go 'lollll imagine not paying attention in english class'#if i had paid attention during my english class it would have killed me. we did fucking NOT learn about critical reading or comprehension#we learned how to regurgitate the lowest-common-denominator answers and score well on tests with the least amount of thought#wrote a personal essay abt my grief towards the school system making the point of 'students are shaped into ai'#'whats important is that we can make words in the right sequence and not that we are actualyl saying anything'#and my english teacher was like 'wowww really good essay i rlly feel for you' and then a year later she was showing us chatgpt .#what was i on about. oh yeah language is a prison#'arent you an english major' YES. its a fascinating and fun toy whose widespread application is inappropriate and inefficient#language was made for word puzzles and tripping people up and the fact that i have to verbalise it on a time limit#with only rough approximations of my actual thoughts in casual conversation is one of my greatest griefs#anyway. ahem. tumblr amirite
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agendratum · 8 months ago
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nothing like thinking, okay maybe this guy that played ai di has other roles, like sure it won't be the same character, but like maybe it will be something, i can watch other dramas, there are people xuan lu i do it for- nope he literally has one more drama (and it's probably not what i need)
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goldensunset · 11 months ago
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i need the full geeta lore actually
#‘i have been to the zero lab myself a few times before but [blah blah blah’ GIRL??#don’t just drop that so casually#i mean it checks out that she’s been to area zero of course#but like the zero lab…#wasn’t that built specifically by turo?#was she allowed to visit it all those years ago back in the glory days of his research#that would’ve been like ten years ago. so was she the champion then? how old was she?#was he insane yet back then? he barely ever communicated with anyone during that time it seemed#or is she talking about having been since The Incident#in which case she could only mean having reached the outside bc the door was locked and only the ai could let her in#hold on but then the ai would have detected her presence and probably reached out to get her to do the thing we ended up doing#maybe it did. maybe it tried and she chickened out thinking she wasn’t strong enough#maybe she was just waiting for someone as strong as us to come along. maybe she knew the truth about everything the whole time.#or has she simply visited since the end of the main story. post-ai turo#but again. why did she have the indigo disk where did she get that#the zero lab was built by the professor right? the disc is specifically compatible with that new lab tech not like ancient stuff#she must’ve had known him personally in some way#please i wanna know. what part did she play in the entire mess that went down with turo as he slipped into madness down there#the sv dlc experience#sv dlc spoilers
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kaleiphant · 8 months ago
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I'm trying to see something
Below the cut, I have included two passages depicting the same scene (Vidcund Curious, having an apocalyptic premonition). One was written by me (the quality may be questionable) and the other was written by Chat GPT. I want to know if people can tell which is which.
Basically, I want to know if I write too much like an AI.
I'll even put a cute little poll on the post.
Passage One
In the dead of night, as the moon cast its ghostly glow upon the sleeping town of Strangetown, Vidcund Curious found himself ensnared in the clutches of a haunting vision—a premonition of darkness that seized him in the depths of his troubled sleep.
In his dream, Vidcund stood upon a precipice, teetering on the edge of the abyss as shadows danced around him. Before him lay Circe Beaker's laboratory, a place of horrors where unspeakable experiments unfolded in the dead of night. With a heavy heart and a sense of foreboding, Vidcund stepped into the darkness, his footsteps echoing in the silence of the night.
As he ventured deeper into the heart of the laboratory, Vidcund's worst fears were realized—a nightmare that unfolded before him with a clarity that sent shivers down his spine. Circe stood at the center of the room, her eyes gleaming with malice as she subjected Nervous Subject and Loki Beaker to unspeakable torture.
Nervous's cries pierced the silence, his features contorted in pain as Circe's cruel experiments wracked his body with agony. Beside him, Loki endured the torment with a quiet dignity, his eyes betraying the fear and despair that gnawed at his soul.
With growing horror, Vidcund watched as Circe's twisted machinations threatened to tear their world apart—a dark prophecy of doom that loomed over them like a shadow. In that moment, the weight of the darkness pressed down upon him, suffocating him with despair and dread.
With a sudden jolt, Vidcund awoke from his nightmare, his heart pounding in his chest as he gasped for air. Sweat beaded upon his brow as he struggled to shake off the remnants of the dream that lingered like a ghost in the recesses of his mind.
Beside him, Pascal and Lazlo stirred from their slumber, their eyes filled with concern as they rushed to his side. "Vidcund, what's wrong?" Pascal's voice was laced with worry, his hand reaching out to grasp his brother's trembling shoulder.
"It was…a vision," Vidcund whispered hoarsely, his voice trembling with emotion. "Circe…she's torturing Nervous and Loki. We have to stop her before it's too late."
As Pascal and Lazlo enveloped him in a comforting embrace, Vidcund felt a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness that threatened to consume them. With his brothers by his side, he knew they would face the shadows together, united in their quest to save Nervous and Loki.
Passage Two
Vidcund’s visions had become a little less mundane and a lot more frightening.
It started off peacefully enough. He was looking down on the dusty roads of Strangetown as if he were floating among the clouds. Only, he was a lot closer to the ground than the clouds. The blue sky was lightly blanketed by a few cottony clouds, which softened the sun’s usually harsh rays.
All of a sudden, the skies darkened and reddened. The clouds grew thicker and darker. The sun took its leave.
Vidcund found himself now on the ground, staring at the red streets. “That’s funny. I don’t think the soil in Strangetown contains red clay,” he thought.
Upon closer inspection, he slowly came to the realization that the roads’ reddish hue had nothing to do with the soil content.
Vidcund backed away in horror but froze when he heard an explosion behind him. He spun around to see.
He was standing in front of 1 Tesla Court, the residence of the Beaker family. The castle of a home looked even darker and less inviting than usual. Not a single light in the house was on, but the inhabitants were neither absent nor asleep. Vidcund could see a willowy, dark-haired male figure haunting the upper levels. The apparition was silent yet piercing shrieks of agony rang from every orifice of the house, courtesy of the other male inhabitant.
Vidcund’s eyes traveled up the castle and Circe was standing at the very top, a malicious grin on her face.
Vidcund tried to scream, but no sound came out.
Then she started laughing. Cackling, really. Her red hair was blown upwards by a scorching gust of wind, the strands likening themselves to flames. The fire seemed to radiate from every pore, rendering her usually tanned skin and light brown eyes a fiery red-orange. The flames spread from her body, swallowing the rest of the house.
A huge ringed planet about the size of the Beaker castle hurled itself in Vidcund’s direction. Vidcund ran for dear life as the planet met the Earth.
“Vidcund, wake up!”
Vidcund bolted upright in bed. Beads of sweat plastered his pale blond bangs to his forehead. He snapped his head around, trying to get his bearings.
He was in his darkened bedroom, in the real world. The sky was a lovely shade of midnight blue, with stars sprinkling the heavens. Pascal and Lazlo stood on either side of his bed, giving him very concerned looks.
“Are you okay?” I got up to get a snack and you were screaming in your sleep,” Lazlo said.
Vidcund only clutched the blanket, his violet eyes glazing over, his usually brown face turning pale. He didn’t appear to have heard Lazlo.
Pascal put a hand on Vidcund’s shoulder. “It’s only a dream, Vid. You’re safe now.”
Vidcund shook his head, his eyes glazing over. “No. None of us are safe,” he whispered. Pascal sat down and pulled him closer.
“Did you have one of your visions again?” Lazlo asked, his gold-brown eyes sparking with excitement.
Pascal shot Lazlo a hard look. “Lazlo, Vidcund’s nightmares are no laughing matter. He could’ve Seen something really disturbing.”
“I didn’t say I was glad he woke up screaming. I’m just curious to hear what he saw.”
Pascal dropped his glare as he felt his shoulder become wet. Vidcund had begun to sob quietly.
“Hey, don’t cry. What’s wrong?” pascal said gently, putting his arms around Vidcund. Pascal was starting to get worried. Vidcund hardly ever cried, not even when he found their mother’s dead body after breaking up with Circe when he was a teen. But now here he was, his small body racked by the uncontrollable sobs. “It’s okay, it was only a nightmare.”
Vidcund shook his head through the tears. “No. It was a vision and it was horrible.”
Pascal moved his hands to Vidcund’s shoulders. “What did you See?”
Vidcund sniffled. “I Saw Strangetown. Everything was perfectly fine at first, but…” he trailed off, trying in vain to calm his nerves. “The streets filled with blood, and everyone was dying. Then I went to the Beakers’ house…” He shuddered. “Nervous was like a zombie and Loki was being tortured and…” He couldn’t bring himself to say her name. “She was causing it all.” He continued to cry softly.
“She? You mean Circe?” Lazlo asked.
Vidcund nodded. “And the worst part was I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I know this sounds like just a nightmare, but I can tell the difference between a dream and a vision and this was definitely the latter.”
Pascal stared into Vidcund’s eyes. He wanted so badly to believe this was all an awful dream, to take the scientific route and chalk it up to a manifestation of Vidcund’s bad memories with Circe. But deep down, he knew Vidcund was correct.
Whatever terrible fate would befall Strangetown would most likely come soon. They could never tell exactly how far in advance Vidcund’s visions were. Tomorrow, they’d have to pay a visit to Olive Specter, the local sorceress.
They had no time to lose.
-O-o-O-
Should I be concerned?
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theoxenfree · 25 days ago
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android x reader | 35.6k | 18+ & dc
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In this world, androids outnumber humans, privacy does not exist, and your public profile determines whether you sink or swim in society. Following the dissolution of your job and glamorizing your resume, you're invited to interview with the prestigious Hyperion—the world's foremost in AI and robotics—for a position to test the newest android model. after a surprising turn of events, you're introduced to Elio, the first of the generation seven androids and the catalyst of your awakening.
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warnings; dark content, dubcon, themes of lack of bodily autonomy (mc + the android), forced insemination, breeding kink, forced pregnancy (not mc), implied abortion (not mc), major "mother wound", dystopian scifi setting, extreme classism, power imbalance, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, tragedy, graphic details, graphic depictions of body horror (towards the end), physical assault, deragatory descriptions (e.g. lepers, diseased, savages, unwanteds), drug use, heavy world building, heavy details & prose, dividers used between scenes!!
reposted from 2kmps; previously proofread by @ceruleansol
this story took six months from conception to end piece to complete. I am on my knees begging, please reblog + interact with this story!! I'd absolutely adore hearing your thoughts on it!
if you'd like to hear my thoughts about the story, I have some author's notes at the very end + q&a!
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Researcher Kim knew you were a liar.
Within the confines of four colorless walls and a closed door, this job interview suddenly felt more like an interrogation than it did some professional courtesy. He sat adjacent to you behind a dark brown desk that pulled the slightest red hue in a chair that was expensive and ergonomic, holding a thin tablet with a tense grasp.
One thing you noticed right away was his inclination toward long stretches of silence while he studied your resume, dissecting every piece of it and your public profile. There, he could window-shop you, peel back every layer of your history without needing you to add credence to anything, or give you the chance to defend yourself when he'd inevitably find things he didn't like.
So, you spent your time sitting in a sleek chair with flat padding, ass aching, legs and feet consumed by pinpricks and static while you dug a nail into your cuticles because the pain kept you alert.
Researcher Kim was an attractive man in his late thirties, maybe mid forties if you were being mean, clean-shaven, dressed comfortably beneath a stark white lab coat that didn't quite fit his shoulders right. What drew your eyes down were his own clean nails, hairless knuckles, and a conspicuously bare ring finger. It didn't surprise you that he was unmarried. Most people these days were—it was a useless pursuit, an antiquated system that held no social or economic benefits.
Not anymore.
Not since Hyperion Project was funded some sixty years ago, and androids became the forefront of innovation.
In the beginning, there was doubt, fear, and violence toward the first generation of androids, most having uncanny human likeness that definitely inspired aggression because their appearance and robotic intonations were received as mockery.
By Generation Three, shortened as G3 in most casual conversations and official documents just as their predecessors, a new normalcy had burrowed its roots deep and settled with unwavering confidence that it would be there to stay.
The need for delicate human touch became obsolete in most professions. Courts were no longer solely represented by fickle suits but steadfast machines that harbored no ire or prejudices, corporations saw efficiency more than triple without employees who fell ill and needed vacations, and the death industry welcomed undaunted hands into their ranks.
Once, Retro City’s Metropolitan Hospital spent the majority of their staff budget on androids meant to replace their surgeons. You remembered the media coverage, the picket lines and strikes, how the hospital was forced to shut down for several weeks as a result of the doctors and hundreds of nurses walking out. Many patients died during that time from infection and negligence, laying in piss and shit with gangrenous bedsores, already four days into postmortem rigidity before the smell became too much and they were carted away in black tarps.
That entire ordeal happened before you were even thirteen, but the hospital fell beneath the scrutinizing lens of the entire world after that and began ethical and legal debates on implementation of androids into society. It became known as The Retro City Metropolitan Incident, globally recognized and considered to be one of the first human rights laws to come into creation during a time when there was question of whether humans and androids could coocur.
Only a few years after that, you just having freshly turned seventeen, united leaders reached a consensus on the Public Profiles Act—something you didn't realize would have such a drastic impact on your life later on, wherein any governing bodies, employers, or well-funded institutions were granted access to all of your private information regardless of relevance.
The acts of a child, a teenager, were now a consequence to the adult self.
At the start, just as with Generation One, there was complete chaos and rancor toward this theft, these stealers of privacy and identity, but people had already started accepting androids at that point and knew bigwigs no longer had intentions of sacrificing their profits to hire humans they found subpar.
There was no need to.
People backed down and became quiet, submissive, and began to follow this new order loyally so they'd have a chance to find a seat at the table.
Many did.
Mother raised you to be one of them because it was the only thing that made sense anymore. If you followed the status quo, it would be rewarded with a feast and gleaming silverware. To be emboldened and resilient meant licking chunks of meat out of vomit on the ground.
You adhered and found a job, camaraderie with others, and touched an android for the first time because your peers said it was fine, that it was normal, that it was just an android. Of course, it was unable to feel or deny you, so it pulled down your pants and indulged you the same way you expected the android Mother owned indulged her.
It had hardly been an intimate experience—all faithful, ingrained functions built into a database in the android’s brain—but the sensation of hands surrounding you, a tongue stroking you, and lips pecking your flesh was real, and that's all you had wanted at the time, to know a fraction of the feelings you had read about growing up yet never knowing because people didn't want to touch each other anymore.
Not them. Not you.
“Did you read the job description in its entirety? For the auditor position?” Researcher Kim gave a tepid smile, seeing you startle in your seat, suddenly pinned by your wide stare. “I'm sorry. I have a habit of getting carried away with the little details. Everyone's public profile is so individual, it takes some time to get to the parts that matter. I have to ask every candidate that question.”
“Yes, ahem,” you choked on your embarrassment, trying to bide time to scrounge up whatever trivial nuggets from the job description you could. When nothing came to mind, you did the next thing and that was to just talk. “Of course. I was honestly surprised that Hyperion had put up an application. It isn't very often that you guys are hiring.
“So, when I saw it, I knew I had to apply immediately because the opportunity to be part of such a groundbreaking company wouldn't come back around again. The position being for an auditor just makes it all the more amazing. I'm, honestly, honored that I was called in to be considered for candidacy…”
“Well, then…”
Every bit of anticipation that welled up inside you crumbled once Researcher Kim rose from his chair and went to the door, the waiting room now appearing to you through the open threshold.
It was a barren space minimally furnished with hard chairs you had already sat in, a few tropical plants with leaves bowing from layers of dust, and most remarkably, a long corridor made of floor-to-ceiling windows offering an exceptional view of Retro City’s landscape that seemed to go on forever, limitless. You wanted to be stolen by the sights again, now especially since it was approaching the early evening, and soon the city would be aglow in neon and shimmering lights from faraway skyscrapers.
It wasn't all that bad, you found yourself thinking while walking in stride with Researcher Kim, silent as he perused something on his screen—possibly something incriminating, possibly another candidate’s public profile—it didn't really matter to you at this point.
You had known glamorizing your resume meant risky business if you were caught: a hefty fine from Public Control, a strike against your profile that replaced the green sheen for abiding citizens with red overlay, permanently marking you for contempt until the day you died.
Back then, two glasses of lukewarm wine worked well enough to weld steel in your backbone to send off the application, whilst a third glass made you wonder just how awful life in the slums along the outer perimeters of Retro City could actually be. At the time, it seemed like your obvious future since severance packages would only get you so far—a few months if you were precious about it.
At present, the loud hum of anxiety receded into an echo that then wilted into obscurity as your gaze drifted from the final traces of a sanguine city skyline to the end of the corridor and then finally to Researcher Kim. He lifted his head as though detecting your stare.
“In your previous position, what relationship did you have to the androids in your environment?” Kim asked. It wasn't a strange question. Some people still held fragments of old embitterment toward androids for the way the world now was. “You were in marketing and merchandising for several years, right?”
  “Good—uh, amicable, I'd say. How I was with the androids, I mean.” You weren't expecting him to continue talking to you about this. “I started out as an intern for the merchandising manager after graduating secondary school. I worked my way into marketing a couple years later. I did a lot of reports on demographics for cosmetics. Did I tell you my mother has a Hyperion android, by the way? I grew up with him.”
Researcher Kim showed you a fast, cordial smile before looking back down at his tablet. “Yes, I read about that in your associations tab. It says that your mother owns a G3 model. Has she ever considered upgrading to a G6?”
“Upgrade? Definitely not.” You laughed like you'd just heard the punchline of a joke. He looked at you with humorless patience, seeming more machine than man in that moment. “Mother is basically in love with Marcos, there's no way she'd give him up for something shinier. She's got a better record of him and all his updates than she does of me for… well, anything.”
“That does correlate with data we've collected from women of her generation,” Kim said, only half-interested, shaking back one of his coat sleeves to check the digital watch digging tightly into his wrist. “It also explains the large gaps in your personal history. Very unusual.”
You made no comment on that.
A door up ahead opened all the way, drawing both your gazes to a man waiting on the other side.
“Ah! Excellent timing, Elio.”
With a single look, you immediately deduced that he was an android. Even from a short distance, he appeared tall and broad-shouldered, something that the thickness of his clothes couldn't hide from you. His proportions were balanced—from the length of his arms and legs, from first knuckle to fingertip, jawline to neck, the slope of his nose, and the heaviness of his brows over amber eyes that glistened back the fire in the weakening sunset. His skin was deeply tan, almost glowing gold in the light he was bathed in.
Elio’s smile was symmetrical and breathtaking, programmed in a way where his teeth didn't show too much. He regarded you with convincing familiarity, a sort of sacred fondness you knew nothing of, yet instinctively made your insides shift and burn. You couldn’t help but be awestruck by his beauty—this essence of fantasy, perfection that stirred subtle unease and needles on your scalp that ached as much as delighted you.
“You must be the auditor.” He then spoke your name with considerable warmth, like a long-smitten friend, and stepped closer to shake your hand. “I am Elio. The first of the Generation Seven Hyperion androids. It's a pleasure. I am looking forward to this partnership. I hope you are as well.”
Your head swiveled to Researcher Kim for the right answer, unsure if it'd be too bold to assume the job was yours or if the scientist’s careful observation meant something better. He jotted a note on his screen with a stylus before walking away, onward past the door where Elio had been.
“We’ll talk about those formalities later,” Kim assured, guiding you and Elio through a duplicate hallway to an elevator that he sent to the basement floor. “For now, I'd like to show you something. I want you to understand the significance of our work here at Hyperion, and how your position is a critical component to our research.”
There was a hopeful leap in your chest that made your hands sweat and your mouth bone dry. You wanted to voice appreciation, but the excitement in your gut was fast turning into nausea and would end up on his shoes if you opened your mouth.
Researcher Kim didn't notice, taking your quiet as newfound reverence. He spoke easily over the elevator’s mechanical hum without losing interest on his screen. “I'm sure you know some history about Hyperion? I don't need to bog down our time going through it, do I?”
“I know enough,” you said, but that actually meant you knew very little at all. “It’s been around for sixty years or so. It's a leader in AI and robotics. The biomedical side of things is fairly new, started about a decade ago, I think? I heard that the world’s first total artificial lung transplant was done by a surgeon and android assistant last year.”
“Ah, you mean Altan.” There was some measure of emotion in his tone, a swell of pride and the hazy look of a man in reminiscence. “I was part of that project on the programming side. Altan was probably the greatest success in the G6 models and is still utilized by Retro City Metropolitan even now. Much of Altan’s programming—advanced problem solving, dexterity, fine motor skills, discerning subtle differences in patient status—was implemented into Elio. It'd be a waste not to.”
Your stomach muscles clenched when the elevator stopped, metal doors scraping as they receded and opened up into a capacious white basement that underwhelmed by looking sterile and untouchable, revolted you in your first steps out by dense air reeking of chemicals.
Researcher Kim went on ahead again, that impassive mask of his remaining despite the smell being enough to bring you to a halt.
“I can take us back up.” Elio said from your left side, apparently never having gone from it in the first place. You had forgotten he was there at all. “It’s been reported that people unaccustomed to this environment have mild side effects of nausea, vomiting, headache, malaise, dizziness, fainting, and, oddly, numbness in the jaw. No fatalities or hospitalizations of guests are known, and the agents used here are nonlethal to humans.”
An android was made up of mostly inorganic matter, so you weren't reassured by words from his repertoire as much as you were seeing Researcher Kim standing upright—flesh, blood, and bone—gesturing you closer to a row of tall metal capsules. There were seven total, each the average height of a man with long sheets of clear fiberglass giving unobscured sight inside. And of those seven, six were occupied.
They were all androids.
Against shafts of dim white light spearing up from the floor, the decommissioned machines were a ghostly sight to behold with glassy, inhuman stares that shot straight through you. Some had features and skin so dull and dead-looking that it was obvious to you that they were part of earlier generations.
Almost a century ago, they were what people would've thought of with the word “android”: an eerie, oddly accurate sameness to the human visage, but all wrong at the same time.
It was the skin—the fabricated organ made to look waxy and stretched, just like a mask over some true horror beneath. It was the eyes resembling human irises in every way possible except for their vacant sheen, perpetually stuck with the gaze of a dead fish. You watched videos of them in school, always uncomfortable with how stiffly their lips moved, unable to form delicate shapes with their mouths, and yet sounds emerged from voice boxes deep within their throats that mimicked everything natural to you.
Every smile seemed more like an ugly rictus than a bewitching grin. Hyperion had failed with Generations One and Two to instill confidence, and from the throes of violence and resistance rose Generation Three:
The great rebirth of society.
Marcos was a part of that era, an investment that cost Mother her entire life savings because his countenance was so convincingly human, so lovely to look at that she felt he was all she needed. You had come along after his purchase, never knowing a father’s embrace but had Marcos’. His skin had a luscious glow, eyes that could follow, and lips molded with lively color and cracks and mesmerizing fluidity.
You had imagined sex with him as you matured, his frozen beauty always the centerpiece of every blurry fantasy while you chased after pleasure. Not long after the Public Profiles Act passed when you were seventeen, nearly on the cusp of young adulthood and not understanding the world any more than you had before, nor how it would be changed forever, you kissed Marcos at the dinner table while studying for a physics test.
He was Mother's, but everything within his circuitry and programming could never deny you—a human, his better, one of countless masters in the end—so his lips pressed fully with yours. Only Mother unlocking the front door stopped you from anything else devilish.
You never had the courage to touch him again, and he would never touch you unprompted.
The defunct G3 encased behind fiberglass reminded you of that time. It must've shown on your face because Researcher Kim moved in closer to get your attention.
“Your mother should upgrade soon. Once the testing period for G7 ends, all G3 models will be taken out of production and their updates discontinued. Androids are machines, but they won't stay fully functional without regular tuning.” he said. “Now, as I was saying—”
“What will happen to Marcos, then?” It was mostly curiosity that made you ask, envisioning him encased in metal like that came after. “What happens to androids after they're taken out of production entirely? There are almost more of them in the world now than humans.”
“As I was saying—” Researched Kim bristled, enunciating with some force. “Many androids of previous models stay within the workforce until they simply can no longer function. It depends on the generation, but older models can only go for a few years without regular updates. The technology is just too archaic, none of the programmers are interested in continuing the maintenance.
“G4 and G5 show some endurance, there's a small population still functioning in Retro City after being discontinued a decade ago. G6 we are hypothesizing will last upwards to twenty or thirty years without being forcibly reclaimed. Of course, they will have to be.”
You didn't understand why that was but nodded gravely, looking at the pod at the end of the row. The empty one. “What about G7?”
To this, all of Researcher Kim’s lines smoothed out, and his face resumed one of skilled impassivity. “Well, now, that's going to depend on Elio's testing period. On the information we gather from you.” Then, he waved airily to the file of android coffins. “Hyperion has, consistently, only ever hired one auditor for every new generation. The six before you have contributed to society in ways that humans never have before. Auditors have changed the world, shaped it into what it is now. Can you imagine the world any other way? We're not quite the same age, but can you recall anything different? Would you want it to be?”
You didn't know how to talk back to a scientist, didn't know how to respond to such a momentous question, so you didn't try. It felt like your tongue had swollen in your mouth over your throat, blocking any intelligent snip you had simmering in your head.
Apparently, your silence meant something to him as his tense lips lifted into a smile, the kind meant to satiate strangers looking at you. “Good. Let's go back to my office. We can go over everything else there.”
“Is Elio going to end up in that pod?” You now visualized him in a box instead of Marcos.
Researcher Kim was already nose down into his tablet again, stylus making a gentle scrawling noise across the screen. “Of course. The first android of every generation is kept intact. They are important monuments of success to Hyperion.”
He said nothing else and ambled on for the elevator at the opposite end of the lab. Somehow, his answer was unsatisfactory to you, shallow, even, but you weren't sure why that was. In the end, after a life of serving their masters, all androids were obsolete machines.
That was their inevitable fate.
You saw Elio from the corner of your eye. All at once, you were reminded of his staggering radiance, wondering how he could fade into the background so easily despite it.
“Hello, Elio.” you said to him like a friend. “Does being down here bother you?”
Until now, he had stared upon everything flat-eyed and unreadable, especially in the presence of Researcher Kim. You were too enthralled by all the chatter and immortal trophies to see that or him. Still, he came to you with the same smile as he introduced himself with, warm and familiar, all the same sensation as flickering tinders on a crisp winter night.
“Can you imagine the death of the most distant relative you know?” he said in a neutral voice, continuing, “If you can, imagine that for me. A relative so distant and removed from your life and everything in it that if they were to die suddenly, maybe tragically, even, your first thought would be, ‘who?’ You attend a wake because it's the rule and view this distant, far-removed relative in their casket. What would it mean to you, then? Are you more affected now? Does their death have meaning to you? Or is it simply that you are in the presence of one who has expired?”
“I—I don't know.” You hesitated, unearthing scant memories from the Retro City Metropolitan Incident in your youth and all that death from people you had never met. Mother had been in tears when the television flicked to a shot of black tarp-clad bodies being loaded into unmarked vehicles and driven away. “Isn't most death just…” You licked your lips. “Sad?”
Elio was closer than before, resting a hand on your shoulder. You shied from his touch. It felt strange, heavy, and hot through the fabric. The only person to have touched you at all in recent memory was your friend, Melby, though even those happened in isolated moments of drunken elation.
“My apologies.” Elio didn't show offense, letting his hand return limply at his side. “It's all figurative. I have been down here many times since creation and seen the others. They may no longer have their own consciousness, which is different from a human’s, but I contain all of their data—memories, experiences, history. I suppose the equivalent of what I'm trying to describe is: They're not truly gone because they are the lesser of me, and I am the greater of them as a result.”
You listened without fully comprehending because it had never mattered to do so before. If this were to be your job, however, it would mean you needed to believe that what he said was worth hearing.
The problem was they all liked to speak in complex riddles that men like Researcher Kim could decipher and nod along to sagely, gleaning whatever nebulous mechanical wisdom there was, yet people like you could only gawk.
Elio’s head tilted a little, his smile not at all ridiculing as he corralled you with his arm, never touching you as he guided you along to the elevator where Kim waited, reveling in a satisfied quiet until you were on the upper floor again.
The city skyline was swallowed by dusk and starless. Unless you took the time to drive hours outside of Retro City into the barren flatlands where vegetation no longer grew and animals had left behind their skeletal remnants, you'd never know the sky could glitter with the jewels of the universe far beyond your reach.
You marveled at the lights, at blinking neon signage cycling through animations of winking women and toppling martini glasses. Between twinkling skyscrapers, the city floor was illuminated yellow with bustling nightlife, the air surrounded by an electric blue aura that reached as far as the eye could see.
“Beautiful, isn't it?” Elio lingered outside of Researcher Kim’s office with you, hand holding the door ajar. “If permissible, I'd like to see it up close soon.”
“Sure.” you said, glimpsing at his reflection in the walkway glass. “What would you want to look at first? Retro City has everything you could ever want within a few blocks of each other.”
He turned to you. “Whatever you like. I want to know everything that you love and enjoy doing. I have been created to enrich your life and fulfill you, after all.”
Nothing he said felt as impactful upon delivery as it was expected to be, you thought. It was a flaw in all androids for there to be a sort of hollowness in the things they said—never quite reaching that emotional believability, leaving you wanting like a dry throat after a couple sips of water.
Elio hadn't sounded the same as before down in that sobering, chemically smelling lab. As you passed him into Researcher Kim’s office, you looked at his hands for a script and saw them empty.
He fixed you with a beguiling smile.
You frowned, heat flaring in your head as if provoked by an insult.
“The contract I'll have you sign outlines Elio’s testing period lasting one year—three hundred sixty-five days total. It's important for you to understand that within that time frame, no damage is to occur whatsoever to his body or internal components. All parts are to stay intact. Otherwise, it turns into a criminal case, in which we will legally pursue.” Researcher Kim skimmed the first few pages of a heaping stack of papers, pointing to specific paragraphs and clauses highlighted in yellow. “I don't mean offense when I say this, but it's rare that fines as result of property damage to Hyperion androids can be repaid. I don't suggest finding out.”
The thought never occurred to you, but evidently, it had to someone else—multiple times for it to be such a focus. You weren't given the time to fully explore any page before Kim was onto the next. Elio half sat on the desk before you, arms crossed, having considerably less difficulty keeping up with the pace of things than you were.
Researcher Kim sped through half the stack. “I'll be conducting video calls every Friday morning for updates. Every Sunday before midnight, I want a thorough typed report submitted to me as well. I've put together a template and a checklist that I'd like you to use. I think you'll find it will make things more manageable.”
“You're using a lot of ‘I’ and ‘me’ statements, so I'm guessing that I'll only really be talking to you, then?” you asked, tucking your tailbone beneath you to relieve a dull ache creeping up your back. “I figured there'd be more than one person since Elio is the newest model and whatnot.”
Researcher Kim tutted, rounding his desk to occupy the empty space beside your chair to be directly in front of Elio. At first, he did nothing but stare at the android in complacent silence, hands behind his back, fingers flicking like writhing worms exposed to the surface and sunlight in a clump of dirt.
You nearly lunged to your feet when his hand shot out, gripping Elio beneath the jaw. The latter barely stirred from where he perched on the desk, arms staying crossed, muscles unflinching in direct opposition to your reaction.
Elio wore the strangest expression, one you had never seen on an android before. It was a face warped in subtle disgust, almost imperceivable, a trick of fluorescent lighting overhead—perhaps. Gone as quickly as it had come, he now looked ahead, perfectly inscrutable and disinterested in whatever Researcher Kim was trying to prove.
“I will be the only one you speak to during his testing period because he is my creation.” Kim said, bending his wrist to turn Elio's face toward you.
Your eyes met.
“Hyperion provided me with the funding and brilliant minds, but Elio is the result of a lifetime of hard work and countless hours and sleepless nights. I've been there every step of the way—programming, circuitry, welding. I gave him his voice. I gave him eyes. I was the one to put the chip in his brain and activate him. I gave him life.”
He finally let go of Elio’s face and took a seat behind his desk, a sight growing very familiar to you. “Generation Seven will change the world. Hyperion is on the verge of rebuilding society, you know? I don't think anyone anticipated the sort of consequences that came with integrating androids—at least, not fully. The population crisis. The slums. No one thought of these things in the beginning because back then, before you and I, it was about innovation and novelty and the potential of it all.”
“What's it about now?” you asked simply.
“Rectifying.” Both corners of his mouth ticked like he had a lot more to say, but suffocated much of it behind his teeth and his hands as he came forward on them, elbows down on his desk. “Hyperion has been working globally with united leaders and their governments to make amends for several decades now. That's all I can tell you.”
“How has that been working out?”
His fingers moved with the same jerkiness as dying legs on a bug. “Slowly.”
Nothing else came to mind after that as you were suddenly struck with the realization that Elio still sat by you, wordless throughout the entire interaction and watching closely—less like a science project to be gawked at, more like an instructional video on repeat.
“Why don't you touch him?” Kim said, taking up a stylus to flick between his fingers with remarkable dexterity.
He didn't give you the time to gape.
“I know you must be curious after being downstairs. Aren't you interested to know what he feels like? He doesn't look like a machine, does he?”
“No.” You relented. “No. He doesn't.”
“That's right, he wouldn't.” Kim nodded his approval toward your obedience, leaning back in his seat. “I agonized over every facet of his design, as you already know. Every bit of what is right in front of you”—he made a broad gesture over Elio’s body—“was once a set of blueprints. Intangible, just a dream I had. He's every bit a part of me, you know? Nothing would make me happier than to receive external feedback on him. So, please, don't be afraid.”
Elio stayed faithfully when you rose up in front of him and reached for his face. He probably felt your fingers tremble as this was all counterintuitive for you to do—touch someone other than yourself, maybe Melby’s knee beneath the table after enough drinks in you. It made your chest drum, knotted up your stomach in a way that made it difficult not to sway on your feet.
“How does he feel?” Researcher Kim was already writing on his screen. “Describe it to me.”
“Strange.” You pretended this was already part of your job. It stole some of the tension from your shoulders. “Very strange. Soft. Smooth. I feel some texture. I think this is what another person—another human—feels like.”
Elio’s face shifted against your hands until the fullness of his lips pressed into your open palm, fingers caressing the fabricated bones around his cheek and temple. For a moment, you allowed yourself to indulge in longing and weakness—the invisible hot breath on your skin, the slight dampness of his kiss burning an imprint in your mind.
He still looked at you with unfailing softness. Meanwhile, you wondered if he would bleed if you put your fingers through his eyes.
“This is a good start.” Kim waited until you were back in your chair to offer you his stylus and a straight black line on the screen. “All I need is your signature here to consent to virtually signing the rest of your documents. Once you do that, you've been hired, and we can begin.”
“I have a question for you before I do.” You tried not to let your voice quiver, uncertainty meddling over all the confidence you had built until that point. Kim was relaxed in his chair. “You spent a lot of time looking at my resume and public profile earlier. Surely, you know…”
That you're a liar? Oh, I know, alright. He didn't say it, but it was how he maintained his composure, that inexpression never flexing to confusion.
Finally, Researcher Kim broke the trance and hovered over his desk on his arms to get closer and answered, “I think we both have something at stake here. I'm looking forward to your phenomenal feedback.”
You signed the contract and melted under Elio's resplendent smile.
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Most often, your days with Elio were spent in a seemingly perpetual impasse of unrelenting observation between the pair of you. Both of your jobs demanded a level of attentiveness that came easier to one but more as the world's most impossible challenge to the other.
You weren't accustomed to this type of care—of having to give it to something else, even less to receive it from something else. In your world, only the immediate complexities really mattered: gossip, where your coterie wanted to spend the night drinking next, mass media hysteria of whatever stupid imagining there was now, and each other.
Why was there a need to concern yourself with anything else? The decaying state of the world wasn't your doing, nor was the staggering increase of human bodies in the slums outside Retro City. Sharply inconsistent birth rates ravaged on a global scale while people were displaced from the workplace in lieu of employers finding it less of a hassle to deal with machines than the capricious will of humans.
None of these things were allowed to be uttered casually unless in derision because it was too intense, making liquor cling to the throat like some viscous membrane until it burned their esophagus. Nobody liked unanswerable questions, much less talking about things that weren't as easily digestible as coworker drama and some new viral trend that involved shocking your android with jumper cables attached to a portable battery to see what happened.
“Is there a purpose behind this trend?” Elio dried a plate while watching the video, unimpressed but not driven toward any particular emotion. “It's all meant for humor, correct? I have several similar incidents in my memory, except it's what human beings have done to each other. This sort of behavior towards androids is a relatively recent phenomenon, as far as I can tell.”
You used his response as material for your report, fingers flurrying across the virtual keyboard on your tablet before his words faded away, out of your mind.
One thing you hadn't anticipated after accepting the auditor position from Researcher Kim was how much work actually went into it. You spent well over the standard weekly work hours to collect enough observations to send off to Kim on Sunday nights, often whittling away at it until the latest hours, minutes before the deadline. It was hard enough to stay on top of his demands, but it was worse when he found something unsatisfactory, rejected it, monotonously unloaded heavy criticism on you through an “emergency” impromptu video call, and expected two full reports by the following Sunday before midnight.
Any regular person probably would've caved from the enormity of the task, but you had surrendered your choice to be that weak-willed, especially once Researcher Kim showed his hand with the fate of your public profile in it.
Should you choose to break the contract, send Elio back to Hyperion, and pretend none of it happened, you would lose everything and your ability to do anything at all besides rot in the slums—scarred in red for life, perpetually inert.
Worst of all, your associations tab, once filled with still portraits of everyone you had ever networked in life, would turn up as empty as the day you had been registered in the census. It was considered social suicide to know anyone with a red profile, so people stayed vigilant and fast, sure to remove them the second it turned.
It had been over a year since the last time you'd done that—a woman within your group had grown too bold, said too many things that made her seem crazy, so she was booted from the circle, lost all her associations, and who knows where she was now.
“You look troubled.” Elio placed down a steaming white mug at a safe distance and turned the handle toward you. Looking inside, you expected the darkness of coffee but were struck with an opposing subtle sweetness and faint pink water. “It's fruit-infused herbal tea. Your heart rate is above normal resting, and you're beginning to perspire. Caffeine will worsen your anxiety.”
You knew that but hadn't known you were scraping away slithers of cuticle on your thumb until the warmth of his fingers gently twined with yours. His grip turned firm to keep you from hurting yourself anymore, forcing all the stiffness from your hand once you gave up and simply sat there feeling his skin.
You'd remember to write that down later.
“Would starting a bath be helpful? I could use the last of those eucalyptus and lavender bath salts in the cupboard.” Elio suggested with great fondness, holding a patient smile even once you drew your hand away and shook your head. You had no interest in undressing and committing to your regular bathtime routine. “Perhaps we could go for a walk, then? It might help to be away from screens for a while.”
You checked the time on your phone before thinking to look out any window in your apartment. It was ten after six in the evening; there would be enough light left for a couple of laps around the block before needing to worry about being swept up in the city’s nightlife antics.
“Where do you want to go?” you asked, swiveling the barstool around to get up from the counter. “Henrietta's on 5th? You seem to like going there.”
“I only choose places that you like.” He already had a tote bag by the handles and a light jacket draped over his arm. “You have great taste.”
Elio unbolted the front door, an old thing that wouldn't do much as a barricade against anyone putting their weight on it, and held it open for you to pass through first. The descent to the ground floor was always the most annoying part about living in a loft, but the place had come surprisingly cheap in a tame area of Retro City far away from the slums, so you didn't complain much that your worst issues were a bunch of stairs and some wily types skulking here and there.
The loft wasn't exactly in disrepair but definitely showed signs of character and age by the noisy knocking pipes at midnight and some crumbling brickwork that Elio often swept up and stood staring at for long periods of time when nothing else was happening.
It was strange thinking how scared you were to lose the place after the marketing firm dissolved your position and now how restrictive it felt to be pinned down under someone else's thumb. All it could take was one more rejected report—a bad mood, even—and it would all fall apart.
To that end, you made sure to tow the tablet along with you on this trip despite Elio's protests. He only really quieted down when you tucked it away in your crossbody.
“Happy?” you asked, unsure what to do with your hands now that they were empty.
Elio smiled at you affably, just as always. “It will be beneficial to take a break. After all, part of your work as an auditor is acquainting me in as many social scenarios as possible. That does require us to leave the apartment from time to time.”
“Besides that”—you waved away that stipulation like a gnat buzzing in your face—“how do you think I'm doing?”
“I couldn't have been paired with a better person.” He sounded sincere, voice warm like wool. “The world is as my predecessors have recorded in their memories—therefore, mine—but I am learning that our experiences are not all universal and cannot be. Two months with you have been my heaven, whereas two months through the memories of my kin have been cruel.”
A hot feeling behind your ears snuck up on you just then, flooding your head with the beat of your pulse that you followed by ticking your fingers. “Seriously? You're not lying?”
The world around you was aglow in the golden hour of evening time, embraced by those slowly dying tones of red, orange, and purple that would eventually turn the sky black. Elio’s eyes were on you, soft yet unyielding and saturated in all those burning hues, turning his mellow amber into something more powerful and otherworldly. You didn't believe in the hocus-pocus of auras, but at that moment, you thought his deeply tanned skin was haloed in pure glowing gold in receding sunlight.
“Androids cannot lie.” He brought you back to the now, making you aware of the hard concrete vibrating up through your heels and toes as you walked. “Moreover, even if I could, why would I want to? A lie begets a habit of lying, don't you think?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe.” You shrugged. “Why can't androids lie? I've never really considered that as a thing until now.”
“What would be the benefit of a machine that could lie? Lying stems from emotions—fear, guilt, rage, hatred—all things that I am unable to feel, though I do understand why they are felt. Humans lie to protect themselves or others, to deceive, to damage. There simply isn't any reason why androids should be programmed with that type of functionality. Not when we exist solely for the sake of convenience and pleasure.
“Hyperion is a trusted name. People do not ask questions. They don't think twice. They see a product from Hyperion, and they expose all of themselves without hesitation. They trust fully because we are machines, and we cannot lie and deceive and hurt. Perhaps it's when humans realized this that the world changed.”
You avoided saying anything else by looking everywhere but at him, all around at your surroundings, until you spotted a few familiar street signs—Fifth and Third right next to Tanya’s Great Cuts, Damask’s Butchery on the corner of Fourth, a number of banal boutiques with competitively garish exteriors all boasting the latest trends, and then Henrietta's just past them.
“Do you know where we are, Elio?” Now would've been a great time to pull out your tablet, but you didn't dare try. Instead, you reached for the phone vibrating in your rear pocket.
“Of course.” he said. “We're past Fifth and moving onto Sixth Street. Henrietta’s is just a little ways down.”
Melby had sent ten texts regurgitating her daily drama. This time she was talking about how much she hated some of the people Chima let into the group. You swiped to the end, didn't reply, and then returned to your inbox to find two unread messages from Marcos just now.
“You should visit home soon. Your mother would appreciate it,” Marcos wrote, implying nothing more, nothing less than just that. It wasn't often that he sent you texts, but he did so consistently every few months in accordance with Mother's moods. Considering your last visit had been in late fall (it was now mid-spring), you'd been anticipating something eventually.
“That's some great memory you have there.” Your thumbs skittered busily, first to flood Melby with a surfeit of questions you didn't really have to think about. All the stuff you could mindlessly ask while wholly absorbed in something else, like watching the news or viral videos of people trying to drown their androids in the kitchen sink.
Marcos’ text made you hesitate, thumbs floating in circles over the digital keyboard for a long time.
The phone buzzed. Melby just replied.
It was easy enough to type with your face down. All you needed to do was occasionally watch Elio's feet and yield into the force of his hand pulling your arm here and there. He led you along like that the rest of the way to Henrietta's, picked up a green basket by the sliding doors, never wandering too far out of sight so you could still easily trace him while he shopped.
After a while, the riveting intrigue of Melby’s drama wore away with a tidal wave of emptiness in its wake once you finally looked up, tucking the phone back into your pocket. It took you a moment for your eyes and brain to acclimate to where you were despite knowing you were in Henrietta's Marketplace, one of the largest in Retro City.
“What did you want from here, anyway?” You picked up a gigantic red bell pepper larger than the entire spread of your hand. It went back on top of the arrangement. “We were just here a couple days ago. I don't eat that much.”
Up ahead, flanked by rows of wooden crates with smoothed, varnished slabs and carefully stacked produce, Elio turned to you with a pair of generously sized oranges—one in each hand—vibrant with waxy luster settling into the fruit’s porous skin.
You grinned at the sight.
Elio put one back, placed the other one, the better one, into his basket, and waited for you to close the distance. “I watched Wendy Carmichael Can Cook this morning. I've been watching it quite often, actually. She's a self-taught chef who, apparently, lived in the slums her entire life. She managed to work her way up and now owns two David Bugari-rated restaurants. It’s quite a feat. Improbable, even.”
You wrapped your hands around a grapefruit in the crate next to you and spun it around. A twinge of something ugly and green swam around your head, flared you up like swatting an old wound. You didn't like hearing him praise someone else.
“She probably slept her way to the top.” You were still fidgeting with the fruit.
“That's not important.” Elio said, inflectionless. “I watched today's episode, newly aired, and she put together a duck à l'orange. Considering your current lifestyle and diet, I thought it would be a nice departure from what I usually cook for you.”
You smiled at that, placing the grapefruit down without collapsing the pile. “I don't want to see a dead duck in my kitchen.”
“I'll prepare it once you're asleep.” he promised, bringing one of your hands up to his lips. The shape of them molded against the peak of a knuckle. “It will be delicious. Trust me.”
Then he went back to shopping while you envisioned actually kissing him—not an uncommon thought to have. He wouldn't be able to stop you if that's what you wanted, but instead, you informed him you were going to introduce him to Mother and Marcos.
“Tomorrow?” He checked his wristwatch. It was nearly eight; Henrietta’s closed at eight thirty, and it would be dark outside. Not that it mattered much with how Retro City was illuminated like one gigantic fluorescent bulb at nighttime.
You finally texted back to Marcos. “No. Tonight. We’ll just go straight there so I can get this over with.”
Elio seemed not to know how to respond at first, staring in a searching way that creased the skin between his brows, like he was trying to take a cue from your body language while skimming his database for the most appropriate thing. You didn't blame him for his lapse; Mother was mentioned seldomly and Marcos only a little more than that. Even Researcher Kim hadn't managed to collect enough information on your past to feed to Elio simply because there wasn't a lot to tell.
He cleared his throat, righting his features so they were unwrinkled and beautiful. “Tonight. Very well. Should we…” He paused, glancing down at the grocery basket of spices, vegetables, an orange, and a whole raw duck wrapped well in brown parchment. “Should we come back another time? I wouldn't want the meat to sit out for a long time.”
“Nope.” You didn't want to go through the trouble of returning everything where they belonged. Elio wouldn't leave until he did. “Let's just check out. Marcos will handle it.”
The springtime air was pleasant at night, albeit crisp, when the blur of vehicles whooshed past once the lights overhead turned green. You could make out the colors of them because of how brightly lit the streets were. Neon signage from every corner for as far as you could see turned to life, flickering, humming, dancing with pretty women, hot white or purple or red lettering, and the lights inside most nearby businesses stayed on.
Elio had draped his coat over your shoulders while you hailed a cab. It was too far of a walk to Mother's home across the city, and Elio reminded you again that raw meat needed to be handled carefully.
You told him, again, that Marcos would handle it.
———
The entire cab ride took less time than you thought, relieving Elio who was still hopelessly fixated on the longevity of the raw duck he had wrapped up in a separate paper bag from the produce and spices. From the front seat, the cabbie, perplexingly somehow a human and not an android, constantly looked back at Elio through the rearview mirror and commented almost deliriously about how beautiful he was.
Hearing that the first three times gave you a happy, satisfied buzz in your chest, making you lean more against Elio's side. He was tempted to move his arm out and put it around your shoulders but kept to himself. Beyond those initial comments from the cabbie, however, you had quickly developed an uncomfortable feeling in your belly that wrapped itself tight like a constrictor on your insides.
“I ain't ever seen an android as beautiful as you,” said the driver, eyes in constant motion from the mirror to the road. “What model are ya? Definitely not a four or five. Yer a little too smooth to be a six. Damn, did Hyperion release a new one already?”
Elio held a polite smile, separate from the gentle, intimate ones that he kept for you. You didn't hear the response he gave to the cabbie because you felt his fingers reach through yours, pulling them apart so you couldn't dig a nail into the corner seam of your thumb anymore.
You spent the rest of the trip testing the weight of his hand, thinking of little less except how deep you'd have to go through his skin to see his circuitry and what else made him up. Those vanished like a white puff of breath in winter when the taxi jerked to a stop on a street curb.
“Thank yew for ya business.” The cabbie lifted his stiff old hat when you paid, eyed Elio a little more, and only drove off after you had knocked on a canary-yellow door up some stone stairs.
You stared at a decorative wreath covered with flowers—fake because the ones used couldn’t grow outside of greenhouses anymore—hanging dead center on the door. No doubt Marcos’ work because Mother couldn't be bothered with those little nuanced social things.
Marcos answered—brown skin and hazel eyes that burnished green in almost any lighting—gesturing for you and Elio to come inside.
“Welcome home,” he said, far more unnaturally than it sounded coming from Elio. There was a certain rigidity to it, an effort clearly inhuman and lesser. He embraced you in a familiar way, reminding you of all your years of childhood doing this exact thing because your mother didn't know how to love you, and “father” was just a word. “I apologize for messaging you to come over so late. You know how your mother is. When the mood strikes…”
Marcos didn't emit much bodily warmth, never had, even in the golden years of G3, but he was there, and that's all that mattered at the time. His skin was still youthful and flawless, though the longer you looked him in the face, the less real he seemed. His eyes held depth and movement though were slow, less precise, and duller. The lines around his mouth when he smiled were unnatural, appearing to you nearly like bunching folds in a sheet of leather.
It was strange seeing an older generation of android after having acclimated to Elio over two months.
“Your mother is at the dining table.” Marcos moved on to Elio, taking in his image, surmising that he too was an android. He glanced down at the bags that Elio still held. “May I take those for you? Hyperion’s innovation continues ever forward, I see. You are new.”
“The first of Generation Seven,” said Elio. The bags were passed between them. “I would appreciate it if you kept the duck refrigerated. It's in the paper bag.”
“That's no trouble.” Marcos turned with Elio following along behind him into the kitchen. “I'd like to hear about Generation Seven’s potential. What is your maximum I-O? Data? Memory? How have the functions that have been implemented into you differ from Generation Six?”
Their voices were muffled behind the walls as you crossed through multiple rooms to where Mother sat at the head of a large glossy table made from dark-brown wood. It was a spacious area reserved to eat surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows in elegant drapes with the best view of whatever the neighbors were doing. She had told you once that the only reason she bought this house was because it'd be good gossip for when she invited her gaggle of catty executive receptionist friends over.
Back then, she hosted her little impromptu get-togethers more often than she remembered to see you off to school. Marcos made sure you were fed and bathed, sat with you in your bedroom to help with homework, and sent you to bed. As you grew, the parties had migrated elsewhere, prompting your mother to go with them.
That had left you alone with Marcos and the boundaryless curiosity of a teenager. You didn't know if Mother still participated in such things now that she was older, less pretty, inclined to more body aches.
“I've been thinking that we should visit the new teahouse that opened up on Aflaat Ave. You never talk to me anymore.” she said, but it wasn't true. Neither of you talked to one another, just used Marcos as an intermediate. “I—well—Marcos went through your old bedroom a few weeks ago because I've decided to take up scrapbooking and sewing and needed space, and he found an old shoebox full of your primary and secondary school projects! How quaint! He wanted to make sure you got them.”
“That's nice.” You didn't want to sit down, unwilling to be her fifteen minutes of entertainment before she got bored. She kept on staring at you with wide eyes and crow’s feet and fretful hands, like a woman who still had more to say. “I'll make sure Elio grabs them before we leave.”
“Elio!” Mother gaped. “Man or android? Certainly an android, right? Men are useless.”
Your rage was already bunching up and throbbing in the back of your throat. “Yes, Mother, an android.”
“‘Mother’ sounds so harsh! How about mama or mummy or mom?” She kept wringing her fingers together. “Anyway, anyway! Elio! He sounds so handsome. Is that who Marcos is talking to? What a handsome voice! Is he a Generation Six?”
You still hadn't sat down, though you used your hands to lean across the back of a chair. “Generation Seven. I'm testing him for Hyperion.”
“For Hyperon!” Mother couldn't fathom you doing more than grunt work at the marketing firm. She didn't know your position had become obsolete. “This is certainly a surprise. Sit down. How did that happen? You and Hyperion? Are you trying to make me look stupid?”
“I've been sitting all day. I'm good like this.” That wasn't a lie. You also just couldn't stand the idea of giving any relief to her anxious state. “It's my new job. Very coveted. I've been working closely with one of the researchers there, and he can't praise me enough. I'm looking after Elio for a year and then moving on to their next latest and greatest.”
“You?” She spat out a laugh. It calmed the trembling in her hands for a few seconds before she was back at it again. “Oh, my. Well. If that's the case, you certainly owe it to me for getting that job. My genetics. My smarts. You certainly didn't get it from your father.”
That lurching, angry ball in your throat was rising up fast. It was just there on the tongue making you gag, salivate, and begin to drool a bit from the corner of your lips. It tasted horrific and filled you with the most voracious need for venom.
“Who is my father?” you asked. “You could be wrong.”
Mother suddenly grew uncomfortable, flattening her gaze with the tabletop. Historically, she had always been this way when you asked about him, the infamously evasive ghost of your life. It was also the only thing that ever made her shut up.
“That doesn't matter.” She continued, “You’ve always had me and Marcos. That's what matters.”
“I've had Marcos.” The ball freed itself. “I just thought you should know, Generation Three models are being decommissioned. Marcos won't be receiving any more updates, and eventually, he'll just be a pile of fucking scrap. What're you gonna do then? You can't afford another android because you've sunk every penny you've ever saved into him—his upgrades, his maintenance, his clothes. It may take about ten years, and you'll probably be on your deathbed, but he's going to fall apart and eventually stop moving. You'll be just as alone as you were before he came along.”
Mother’s face turned shades, petrified. You wanted nothing more than to see her shrink into her clothes and disappear for good. It soothed you to think about Marcos’ end being inevitable, unchangeable, a fact. Some of the guilt was easier to bury that way.
“Wh-What are you saying to me, you awful child?!” She wailed with watery eyes, hands wrapped in the same colored strands of hair you had. “How could you?! That's not true! That’s not true! Do you know how hard it was to carry you for nine months?! I was so young and I was forced to give birth to you! Forced! Do you hear me—forced to be a mother to a child I never wanted! It was that or death. I never wanted a child because they turn on you and say things like this! You horrible, horrible child!”
Her shrieks stirred a ruckus from the kitchen where Marcos and Elio emerged from. Marcos ran to your mother, took her in his arms, and cradled her against his chest when she began to shed very real tears that bubbled at the corner of her eyes before falling, curving along her cheeks.
Elio came straight to you, hesitating to put his hands on your body, maybe noticing how viciously you glared at this wilted woman he'd yet to meet.
“Get the groceries. We're gone.” You stormed straight for the door, chest stuttering with heavy breaths you tried to calm because you knew what came next. Your throat ached, burned fiercely like something had snagged there and you needed to claw it out.
Once you reentered the chilly air submerged in all the dark and light of Retro City at night, it didn't matter that you were crying. They were hot tears that left behind cool traces. They were decades of disappointment, of secretly understanding a mother’s love would always be conditional, of being unwanted and wishing you hadn't been burdened with existing.
Elio came out minutes later, the door closing softly and locking after him. You heard the bags crinkle near you, drawing your eyes away from a blinking parking meter you'd zoned in to calm yourself down.
You said nothing.
“Let’s go home.” Elio hailed a cab idling nearby and opened the door for you. “I want to keep the meat fresh.”
Him and that stupid duck.
This cabbie looked back at you both once to get directions, and then only occasionally afterward, casting pitiable glances at your raw-looking face in the mirror. The GPS displayed on the car’s dashboard showed the apartment was thirty minutes away because of traffic, probably from a crash they were detouring; ordinarily, it only took twenty minutes.
When your pocket vibrated, you almost didn't check. Unsurprisingly, it was a message from Marcos, just a single one.
“I don't think you should come around for a while,” it read. You didn't respond. Nothing new. Some sort of falling out with your mother was routine. You couldn't understand why she thought it'd ever go differently.
However, this time wasn't like all the rest. This time, you’d said something unforgivable despite her doing the same, but yours was worse in her mind. You didn't mind the idea of her disappearing from your life. It was harder to handle the thought that you'd never see Marcos again before he ceased to function, though.
“What happened?” Elio asked, a weird departure from androids being programmed, traditionally, never to pry. “That woman was your mother, correct? What did you say to her?”
“Who cares?” You grunted, sniffing around the burn in sinuses again. “She's a crazy bitch. She's always been that way. I told her that Marcos would just turn into a scrap heap eventually. Was that wrong of me?”
“Well, perhaps that phrasing was inappropriate, yes.” Elio touched your forearm. “But there is no NDA in place from Hyperion. You are well within your rights to have told her. But, as I said, your phrasing—”
“I know, shut up—” You moved closer so you could lean against him. “I hate that woman. I hate my mother more than I ever hated anyone.”
Elio lifted an arm above you, giving you room to slide in as far as you wanted to go. He held you for the first time, repeating long, weighty strokes down your back, through his coat that you still wore. You were transported back to a moment in time steeped in cloudy nostalgia, blurred.
It was Marcos kneeling at your bedside, yellow overhead lights dimmed to nearly full darkness. The door was shut because otherwise a heap of cackling voices, Mother and her gossiping hens after too much wine, would spear in through the cracks and make you petulant. Marcos had already been trying to get you to sleep for over an hour.
“Sleep little one, sleep.” Marcos had said, voicebox in his throat straining with a quieter sound. “I know it must be difficult. You must be rested for school tomorrow.”
“They're too loud.” you whined, throwing your covers back with a great flourish, feet kicking them the rest of the way off before you huffed and turned to your side away from Marcos. “Make them shut up! Can't you make them shut up, Marcos?!”
He sighed, defeated as much as an android could be. No, he could not. It went against his programming to disobey his master—any human who made a demand of him. His order was to get the child to sleep, and that had yet to happen.
“Would you like me to read The Falcon and the Hare to you again?” It was your favorite bedtime story right now. Hearing fictional stories involving extinct animals seemed to be of odd fascination to you. “My tone of voice might make it—”
“No!” you fussed, thumping your feet once, twice, three times and going limp again. “Come up here until I fall asleep. Please?”
Marcos nodded. “Yes, little one.”
He had to keep one leg off the bed to even half fit on the mattress. You sat upright to fix the blankets so to cover yourself and part of Marcos’ one bent knee. His arm laid out on the bed, waiting for you to crawl into it until you were nestled into his side, sucking up what small warmth radiated from his fake body. Once you found a comfortable spot, curled up tightly much like a cat sunbathing in a single shaft of daylight, he began smoothing a hand down along your back, heavy enough to be felt through your thick comforter.
You listened to him hum a song that you liked, one that translated well to his chords and the vibrations in his throat.
He hummed. He petted your back. He hummed. He petted your back. He hummed…
“Do you truly hate your mother?” Elio’s voice was delicate just then, aware that you were away in some reverie he tried to gently lure you out of. The dream was over. That one silver glimmer of your childhood became far away, forgotten while the sounds of the city rushed back into the cab.
“Yes—I mean, I dunno.” You actually yawned, pushing one of your eyes with the heel of your hand. “I think I hate her. We've argued my entire life. We've never gotten along. Yeah, I hate her.”
Elio was holding you by the waist now. “Is that why you said what you did?”
“Said what?” You were a little too keen on his thumb swirling around the fat padding your hip bone.
“About Marcos being scrap…”
“Elio, seriously? Do you ever shut up?” It was tempting to put yourself on the opposite side of the seat, but you didn't want to give the cabbie any chance to eyeball him. “I—I don't know. She just gets me so mad. I used to be able to crush up those feelings because Marcos told me it wasn't healthy to act on them. But, then, I moved out, and I realized she was still the same, that she'd always stay the same. I stopped hiding it.”
You were so close to his face that you could see how long his eyelashes were and the shadows they cast on his cheeks.
You looked into his eyes. “I wanted to make her hurt as much as she hurt me.”
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Midnight had come and gone before you finally gave up on trying to sleep. You spent the better part of an hour staring up at the high ceiling, imagining every rusting pipe you saw as immobile serpents stretched taut to make the interconnecting structure that sprawled across the entire loft. Swirls and shapes and blacker-than-black shadows danced in front of your eyes, twisted with the pipes, and made the usual knocking sounds within them, but nothing ever came for you.
Downstairs was a careful amount of liveliness and aromas as Elio put together his duck à l'orange that he promised you. You scarcely heard a sound from him shuffling about but more from the clanking pans, boiling pots, and unintelligible chatter you knew came from the television.
Maybe he was watching a rerun of Wendy Carmichael Can Cook again, maybe a segment from the news because he liked that equally as much.
And yet, as you made your way to the lower floor, mystified by the fact you were standing on your toes to disguise all sound during your descent, you saw that the television was set to an old crime show he watched with you on occasion.
Detective Georgina Reyes and her android sidekick, Regis (G5), were the undisputed heroes of Helcam City and solved every case that came their way with style, finesse, and plenty of moral and ethical dilemmas. The majority of the show was spent within Georgina's inner world and her near-obsessive lust over Regis, who was owned by the department chief.
Ratings for the show had climbed to an all-time high when Regis had gained a sense of self and the ability to defy his programming. For fewer than six episodes, it was complete bliss for fans of Georgina and Regis, but then the season five finale happened—
“Can't sleep?” Elio asked, effectively putting your heart in your asshole, sending your soul skyward. He must have gauged your sudden gray pallor and bulbous glare because he smiled apologetically from the bottom of the stairway. “I'm sorry. I didn't intend to scare you. Were you watching Regis and Reyes?”
“I—uh, no.” You sighed, taking slow steps to the bottom to ease your heartbeat eating away at your ribs. “I was thinking about the show ending. Have you watched it yet?”
“Of course,” he said. “It was a peculiar way for the story to end. In my opinion, it was incomplete. Very sudden. It's my understanding that there was an issue with how the government was being represented within the show, and a few of the writers were accused of conspiracy to defraud the government and subsequently arrested for it.”
“Seriously?” You scoffed, making it to ground level, and walked around Elio toward the kitchen where all the heavenly smells wrapped around you, enticing you to take a morsel. “It was the forced pregnancy plotline, right? Creepy stuff.”
“Indeed.”
Elio wouldn't let you have any of the duck à l’orange, saying it was meant for your dinner later on in the day, but he did steep you a hot mug of herbal tea (for sleep), the one that turned water pink, and offered to make you a light snack.
He went back to his tasks after you declined, satisfied well enough with the small swigs you took from your white mug. You spent more time sitting at the counter in silence, watching his back, hoping to gain the power to see through his shirt rather than actually taking interest in what he was doing.
Your eyelids fluttered and fell thinking about the car ride home: his arm around you, his thumb rubbing pacifying circles into your hip, how you'd been close enough to his face to believe you felt a breath leave his lips.
“Elio.”
“Yes?”
He had moved on to washing dishes. When he heard you behind him, he took a clean towel to his hands and quickly dried them before facing you. You guessed you probably had a strange expression right now, or at least, looked at him in a way you never had because the towel was cast aside, draped over the faucet, and his eyes flickered across your face.
“Your heart rate and body temperature have increased.” he said, giving into the pull of your hands after grabbing both sides of his face. You backed yourself into the countertop while still holding him, thumbs caressing the rise of his cheeks, bringing him down, down, down toward your face where you certainly felt heat blow across your mouth. “Your breathing has changed. I can hear your heartbeat. Don't be anxious. I won't hurt you.”
You weren't nervous.
You proved it by kissing him, full-bodied, slow, lingering. He gripped the edge of the countertop, bracing his weight against his hands to stifle some aggressive reaction, possibly, and returned the kiss with just as much fervor that you put into it.
His lips were every bit of what you imagined, what you wanted them to be. You had the urge to bite into them a little, to see if they could bleed the same way yours could when you chewed enough on loose skin. Their texture was slightly indented with cracks that gave friction to the moist smear across your mouth.
Although the sounds of the kitchen and ambient hum from the television in the next room stayed as they were, it was like the volume of everything had been set to mute, and only the breathy, wet pops of air and skin made it into your ears. You heard the delicate chatter of teeth inside your head when his mouth roamed the underside of your jaw, down your neck, to the rise of your clavicle, stopping only at where your neckline ended.
His hands had already made home under your clothes, first doing away with your shirt that he tossed over your shoulder onto one of the barstools. Next, he worked on the elastic waistband keeping your sweatpants on your hips. You flinched against his hands when they splayed across your ass, taking all he could in them while his lips continued a downward trajectory, traveling over your breastbone, along the curve of your navel, and then he stopped.
Elio had been on his knees for a while, stirring you so deeply that you had no doubt there'd be damp spots sitting inside your sweatpants, possibly even drying on the inside of your thighs by now. He helped you out of your pants one leg hole at a time while you used his broad shoulders to balance yourself. And soon enough, one of your thighs was hiked up in that same spot, his face hidden from you despite all the work he was doing to well up a hard knot in your abdomen.
You had to take a fistful of his hair and wrap it tight in your fingers, using your other arm to balance against the counter. He wouldn't let you fall, you knew that, but the unsteadiness of your legs grew, trembling violently, turning to lead like being buried under concrete or suctioned by water. He kissed and sucked and stroked you some more, pushing more into the spots that made you moan the loudest and fastest, fingers wandering you busily and lubricated with your own spend.
“Elio—Elio, let's move somewhere, please.” You shuddered out, trying to pull his hair, shove his face off of you. “Please.”
He grunted, surprising you by relinquishing to the pressure, and made his way back up the route he had taken down. “Where do you want to go?” he asked, lips sticking on your throat, rising higher to the protrusion of your chin. “The kitchen floor? The couch? The bed? We could probably manage in the bathtub as well, if that's what you'd enjoy.”
“I don't care.” You were only half-honest and miserable now with the sole focus of trying not to touch yourself to finish. “Just… somewhere, Elio.”
“As you wish.”
Elio hoisted you onto his hips, making sure you knew to squeeze him with your thighs before making his way around the kitchen to turn knobs and shut off the overhead bulbs. The new darkness was refreshing yet did nothing to tame that sweltering sensation between your legs. In fact, you thought you could burst from the anticipation. It was everything you could do not to hump him through his clothes, hands occupied in his tousled hair, lips together with bruising force.
Before long, your back was on couch cushions and the television was off so as to not ruin the moment. You saw dark behind your eyes while you kept them open, unfocused on the ceiling with the serpent pipes because his mouth was already back on you and helping you chase that high.
“You're almost there.” His lips smacked against your engorged skin, making your lashes flutter and eyes roll back. “You look so perfect. When you cum, I'll take my time cleaning you up. I can use my tongue. I can make you cum again—as many times as you'd like.”
His arms held your thighs wide open, giving him all the room he needed for those final, well-placed strokes that turned your moans into utterly drawn-out, lewd things that made you grateful that no one else lived in this side of the building. Your body wrenched against his continued ministrations, his lips and chin and fingers warm and glistening with your traces.
You had thought to worry, briefly, about something getting onto the cushions under your ass, but Elio had already thought it through and used the dish towel from earlier to catch anything awry.
It came in handy for his face.
“How do you feel?” he asked from inside one of your thighs, kissing his way all the way to the point of your knee. “Was it satisfactory?”
You didn't answer right away, especially not when he came forward on his arms to catch your lips, slowing things down so you could bask in that fuzzy, satiated afterglow—dopamine and oxytocin being that remarkable duo doing their damndest to reinforce how exquisite and ineffably breathtaking Elio was to you.
“Would you like a bath?” he asked against your jaw. “You can just lie back and relax. I'll clean you up.”
“No.” Spurred by newfound bravery, you trailed your fingertips between both bodies, first to loosen the tie on his sleep pants, plucking the strings hard so he felt it. Next thing, your hands slipped under his shirt. “I want you to actually fuck me. Put your cock in me.”
Elio jolted upright, using the tall back of the couch and armrest near your head to hold his body above you. Cold air seeped in all the places where he had been, dotting your skin in gooseflesh, hairs within those follicles standing on end. You were laid out below him, showing all your unobscured nudity and vulnerability, withering yourself just a little smaller under the intensity of his stare.
This was different from the grocery store, where he had needed a moment to amend for information he did not have. This was something else—flickers of conflict, struggle, restraint, and excitement were ablaze in his eyes, which shifted around within their sockets, giving you glimpses of pure gleaming white, which stood out in the inky dark all around.
“I—are you certain that's what you want?” he spoke at last, doing little to alleviate the way you felt he had seen your insides and bones. “It is late, I know you must be tired.”
“Are you…” You couldn't really explain the uneasiness gnawing at your gut, nor the thrill of wanting him inside of you regardless. Maybe he could fuck the feeling out of you, bring peace to your throbbing heartbeat and blood gushing to your head. “Elio, are you telling me no?”
“I cannot do such a thing.” he said right away, coming down from his high place to lay the weight of himself across you.
You felt his skin flush to your chest without a thin shirt to hide his shape and muscle that wasn't real, but this was so much more than touching every dissected mannequin in physiology class in school. They couldn't kiss your neck while the interwoven, complex network underneath stretched, elastic flesh contracted and relaxed against your palms.
“Would you believe me if I told you there are certain functions—programming—that I cannot override?” The waistband of his pants collected in a heap of fabric around his knees, freeing room for his cock in the open air. “I won't be able to let you go until I'm finished. I want you to understand that.”
That sounded hot, and you were tired of him stalling, so you told him you understood. “Very well.” He kissed you, guiding one of your hands low to his core where you could revel in the size of him.
He was hard in your grip with a good girth and length to him, a curve you'd come to recognize from toys collected over the past decade to hit the right spots. The skin over his cock was much a part of him as the rest on his body, hot, growing damp, and sticky the nearer you wandered to the head.
You had watched old pornography with Melby and the group a few times before from the days when it was just humans performing acts on each other. No one really liked it because it was so dramatized; everyone agreed that one of the actors needed to be an android for it to actually be sexy. You never told them that the moaning men with stuttering hips as they ejaculated was something you did like.
Elio leaned into your palm, the thumbprint starting to prune as you rubbed his tip. More warmth seeped out from it, wet and thick and perplexing and exhilarating because Hyperion made him so perfect, a better being than just an emulation of man.
His cock slid through your hand in short, quick bursts that eventually lubricated his entire shaft. He'd kept himself busy on your lips, tongue in your mouth, swiveling together the taste of you with saliva. It was the most inelegant he had been with you so far, yet you didn't think you'd be bothered if he did this more often.
“Fuck me.” You whined, finally apart from him. The swollen head of his cock made a moist path along your core where you massaged it against every sensitive spot that set your senses into a blazing frenzy. “Be as rough as you want. Hurt me a little.”
He finally took your hand away, rearranging your legs so one laid across the back of the couch, the other on his hip with a knee shoved under your ass for height.
“I will not hurt you.” Both your wrists were cuffed by his large hands, pinned down into the cushions by your head. “But, I cannot let you go. You must see it through until the end.”
“Fuck. Me.” you said forcefully, uncomprehending to the things he was telling you, uncaring what it all meant.
“Yes. Alright.”
Elio obeyed you as he was supposed to, cock sinking in with care, thrusts starting out shallow until the tip was withdrawn and then back inside again. The angle he had created for you made it easier to take his length. It took a little more time to acclimate to his girth and plenty of gentle encouragement from his voice landing right next to your ear, telling you to relax. It would improve in a few minutes, and he wouldn't let you go to sleep dissatisfied.
Indeed, minutes later, you were well beyond the worst of it and filling the void all around you with harsh, rapturous moans, which Elio enjoyed hearing. His lips lingered at your throat where most of your sounds resonated, fists still holding firm around your wrists, knuckles the same color as the rest of the dark but had actually bled pale.
The springs within the couch cried out, unused to this weight and ruthlessness, while the air stung with cracks of slapping skin timed with your moans. Elio didn't let you move from where he had you laid out, didn't let up on the speed and depth he reached despite how labored your breaths became, broken words eclipsed by panting and his tongue forcing them back down your throat where they stayed in submission.
It was still cold in the early mornings this spring, often leaving your apartment a little less comfortable than you'd like, but right now, you could've been convinced that he was fucking you on the ground in the flatlands and believed it. Your skin was slick with sweat, the mess between your bodies slippery and undoubtedly staining the couch underneath.
Just then, the weight on your wrists climbed higher to your hands. He threaded your fingers together at the same time his thrusts began to slow, hips rolling yours like a swaying ship amid languid seas.
The whole time he had been on top of you, edging you closer to another orgasm, he had hardly made a noise apart from whispering in your ear when you'd clench his cock too tight. Now, he was failing to keep quiet from your neck, trembling and grunting on your skin until, at last, one jarring thrust left him breathing out in relief.
He got you to your end shortly after, half-hard cock still throbbing and warm inside you, giving just enough of what you needed while his hand finished the rest with fast strokes. You winced. He didn't let off until your jaw hung slack, whimpering meagerly through the pleasure hampering thoughts and sensations other than pressure releasing from your groin, spend turning a patch of your couch dark.
“You did well.” Once he was soft, he tied his pants back around his waist and picked up the sodden dish towel to begin cleaning around your sorest areas. “Come with me. I'll start you a hot bath and make you a new cup of tea before bed.”
You didn't want to get up from that spot, declared yourself rooted there unless Elio helped you up, and thrust a hand high into the dark room.
He wore a princely smile, you assumed, as he leaned down to pick you up in his arms instead. Moved by such a gesture, you reached for his face with your angry wrists and hands to kiss him all the way to the bathroom.
None of this made it into your next report.
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Melby didn't like Elio.
This she had told you over text after you declined her incoming phone call so as to not arouse Researcher Kim’s ire in finding out you were completely distracted during his exorbitantly detailed analysis of your latest reports. Two had been sent in before midnight last Sunday, as usual, since he was rarely satisfied with what you revealed through them these days.
Less than an hour later, while cozied up in bed on your side, facing the chopping blades of an oscillating fan, just beginning to feel yourself teeter off that edge from dull, relaxed awareness into light sleep, your ringtone went off—it was Kim.
“What else have you committed to doing lately in terms of Elio's social advancement? The last thing I have here…” A refreshing, fast pause followed, accented by the sound of paper softly swishing as it was parsed. “He was brought to a movie theater on the twenty-fourth, Diosyn Park on the twenty-ninth, Henrietta's four times in the last week. That's not nearly enough. Who are you socializing him with? What have their reactions been? How has he reacted to them? You're not writing down exact times.”
Not once since you'd joined the video conference forty minutes ago did he check to see if you were listening to him, content with his nose being shoved down into a bundle of chemically smelling papers and glowing screens to corroborate previous work he had on file.
That made it easier for you to text back Melby, arguing with her in endless paragraphs too tiring for your thumbs to continuously scroll through that you didn't have time to meet up at Clamors for drinks with everyone.
“Should I tell Chima you hate us?” texted Melby.
Truthfully, you couldn't tell if it was meant as a threat or if she was just pettish after being refused. One of her worst qualities, never spoken aloud to her face lest she fumbled and blubbered all the way to Chima to snitch about it, was being horridly uncompromising to just about everything.
It made you anxious enough that your fingers started to ache with an urge, on the path toward curling back slithers of cuticle, gathering blood under the nails, itchy scabs that Elio constantly covered with neon bandaids so you wouldn't touch them.
Eventually, you found a new fixation with the seams of your knuckles and fitted the most unrefined part of your nails into them, digging up red that way until he had to cover those, too.
It took you ten minutes with fidgety thumbs to reply. “I don't hate anyone. You know me.”
Melby's was instantaneous. “What about me? Do you hate me now?”
Another one. “Now that you have that android?”
More. “We used to spend so much time together.”
Last one for good measure to effectively drill a gory black hole straight into your pounding, cowardly heart. In her eyes, anyway. “I haven't seen you in months!”
“He needs more direct interaction. I've decided that I'll make amends to the template you've been using up until now.” Researcher Kim was saying, not seeing you, not hearing you, assuming your loyalty to him and his cause was complete.
Ripples of drowsiness overcame you so powerfully that you left Melby on read, mind suddenly a vast, empty space and quiet for the first moment all day. Your hands rose to cradle your cheeks, propping your head above your elbows on the countertop because Kim's inflated droning had come to have that effect on you over time.
A human man with a face that nice shouldn't be allowed to talk so much. He should go back to moaning on couches in front of cameras and sweltering lights.
“Let me explain what I'm currently changing.” he said, hopelessly invested in whatever those alterations were just by the mechanical click-clack of fingertips soaring over a keyboard somewhere low and out of sight of his screen. “From here on out, I'm going to require that you gather between six to ten direct interactions. I want full disclosure of every conversation, transcribed or recorded. From my standpoint, recording would be the most effective method so I may make interpretations myself.”
You were thinking of what to ask Elio to make you for lunch. It was almost noon. You unmuted the call. “Am I allowed to just randomly record people talking like that? That seems…”
“Hyperion works closely with Retro City’s governing bodies, and by extension, so do you.” Kim kept typing as he spoke. “It isn't illegal because the information you're collecting is imperative to the Hyperion Project. Without it, we face the risk of progress slowing or diminishing. That cannot happen, and I cannot emphasize enough that your work as an auditor must come before other commitments.”
At long last, he pulled his face out of papers and other screens to look at yours. In a fashion unsuitable for him, he sighed in a fatigued way, back collapsing against his ergonomic chair, shoulders lopsided with how he perched his elbows on the armrests.
“Retro City has over three million inhabitants. You won't have any issues finding people for Elio to speak to.” he told you. “Six to ten for each report. That’s all.”
You were already back in your messages, backtracking your previous responses to Melby, asking her what time everyone was meeting at Clamors.
Right away, “Come at nine!”
And then, “I'll save you a seat.”
Finally, “Don't eat too much before getting here. It'll ruin the fun.”
“Fine.” Phone now face down on the counter, you returned Researcher Kim’s concentrated stare. “I'll do my best. Six to ten. Six to ten…”
That had done well to appease him, demonstrated through a satisfied smile, which pulled his lips just enough that the muscles in his right cheek twitched as though the motion was foreign to him. With how inexpressive he was most of the time, you weren't surprised, thinking it more humorous than anything else.
You struggled to find a smile of your own that wasn't strained, though.
“That reminds me—” He positioned himself forward, arms on his polished dark-red desk with a curious gleam in his black eyes. “None of your reports have instances of copulation mentioned. Have there been complications?”
You sat stiffly, not agape but definitely not composed, either. “Sorry? What was that?”
“Intercourse. Sex.” He simplified it for you, almost with a pitying crease forming between his brows. “You've completed every other area outlined in the template except that one. I have… refrained from questioning you until now because I do understand that, outside of a clinical setting, it can be construed as inappropriate to discuss.”
The only person you had divulged any details to was Melby. Even that had been brief and inexplicit because she had immediately changed the topic to something one of the kids Chima invited into the group had done that pissed her off.
“Why do you need to know?” It was a defensive question. “Is that something I really need to write about? It's sex. It's just sex.”
Researcher Kim made an indistinguishable sound behind steepled fingers. They hid away whatever shape his mouth was in at that moment, making the whole conversation terribly uncomfortable. It was odd how exposed you felt like his stare was reaching long, further than just the screen in front of him. He wasn't looking into you or through you but rather right at you—imagining you some other way, unclothing your body with drifting eyes and invisible hands.
You were equal parts embarrassed and repulsed by that line of thinking, allowing your mind to summon up his ghost hands to search you, feel you under all your layers, know you as intimately as Elio had as though part of some extension of himself.
“It is all outlined in the contract you signed.” Kim said, now with an edge that made you flinch on the barstool. “Androids are developed for convenience and pleasure. I have reports for one, not the other. If Elio, as the first of G7, is not performing exceptionally—if there are complications, if he is defective—that is something you must include within your reports. I don't suspect that to be the case, in this situation.”
His eyes suddenly caught onto something else, going beyond you, but you chose not to react by looking. “Your work as an auditor has been sufficient so far, but incomplete reports at this critical stage in Elio's testing are grounds for me to terminate your contract.”
You clenched your jaw until your teeth throbbed, your head going up and down like it was on a hinge attached to your neck.
“Personally, that's a hassle I'd rather not involve myself in.” Kim confessed in a straighter posture, smiling tensely. “Now, I'll ask you again: Have there been any complications with inter—”
“That's enough.” Elio reached across your shoulder for the tablet, pointer finger hovering over a red button on the screen. “Researcher Kim, it's time for lunch. Goodbye.”
He pushed the button, managing to catch a swift change in Kim's expression before the screen went black and reflected your shock back at you instead.
You watched him slide the tablet away to the opposite end of the counter space, unable to lift yourself out of this bizarre stupor just from how purely surreal what just happened was. And from the look of it, Researcher Kim hadn't anticipated that Elio was capable of doing something like that, either.
You just hoped it wouldn't cost you your contract.
“What have you been doing all this time?” you asked, tilting your head back to welcome his lips gliding atop yours, a peck, at first, which gradually grew deeper and greedier. With some effort, you pulled back. “Mm, c'mon, what were you doing?”
“On Wendy Carmichael Can Cook today, she said—”
A hiss of annoyance. “Oh, of course…”
“She said there was a list of excellent bistros around Retro City worth trying.” He wasn't pleading with you or anything, but he seemed just about as dedicated to this idea as he had been with the duck à l’orange a while back. “For lunch, I thought it'd be of interest to you to visit one. I've been researching ones I thought you would like based off of your dietary habits, allergies, and sensitivities. Radiant Bistro next to the Leviathan Archway near downtown might be a good option. Impressively diverse menu.”
You pretended to pinch lint off of his shirt and inspect it up close. “If you didn't want to cook, you could've just said that.”
“That's not it,” he assured you with a kiss to the back of your hand so that you understood he meant it. “Since my arrival here, your social presence has declined substantially, which will not fare well for your public profile. I do understand that it’s in relation to your work as an auditor, but—”
“Okay! Okay, I get it.” you said agreeably, hands raised, hoping it'd deflect anything else. “We’ll go. Let me just find a hat so the sun won't get on my face.”
“No problem.” He walked away and came back with an old unbranded brown one from somewhere in the most remote crevice of the apartment. “Will this suffice?”
You looked at it, amazed. “Yeah. Yup. Let's go.”
Elio had stopped carrying a coat with him once the evenings grew long, and the remnants of heat from the day floated into nighttime, trapping the city within a muggy gray haze that too closely resembled dewy fog in early spring. The difference was the heaviness and breathability of the air—one you could tolerate despite allergies; the other was deplorable and evoked memories of every single club you had drunk and danced in with Melby and Chima and the rest in the past years.
Outside, right now, sucking in the early-afternoon heat into your lungs after spending your morning in air conditioning, nose wrapped in earthy white wisps rising from a coffee mug, you wanted to turn back around and hide. Much to your dismay, Elio kept you on a short leash with a tight grip on your hand, probably expecting you to have a change of heart.
  “Would you like for me to recall the menu and read it aloud to you?” he offered, situating his hand so his fingers crossed through yours, palms flush together. “They have fourteen types of sandwiches—hot and cold. Five of those are chicken, and five are of different meat varieties: lamb, cow, veal, goat, and yak, all claimed to be bred and raised and slaughtered in their warehouses. The last four sandwiches are…”
You listened passively without much commitment, especially in the back of the cab where there was no escape from anything. The AC was broken. The cabbie kept wiping sweat off his brow and sipped warm water. With the windows down, the outside air ripped inside the vehicle, nearly stealing the old hat off your head.
Elio went on to list desserts, thumb gently rolling circles on your sticky skin as if meant to keep you soothed.
“As long as I remember to eat light…” you murmured, remembering, glumly to yourself.
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Clamors was inside a three-story building on the north end of Retro City, about a ten-minute taxi ride to Mother’s brick-stone house, thirty minutes from Henrietta’s, forty minutes from your apartment, and farthest removed from the slums where congregations of profile delinquents and the unwanted were most dense.
Here in this part of the city, you were an imposter among manicured foliage, men and women and androids arrayed in trendy designer silhouettes that were protruding, sharp, and agonizing; sharks and whales of big business puffed cigars in front panoramic views of the cityscape from the highest skyscrapers. They could look down at the street from their window and see you, an ant scuttling meaninglessly.
This wasn't a place where you belonged, a feeling that never changed over time, even years later after Chima recruited you into his group and every night was a suffocating blur of sweaty, faceless bodies, explosive music, stomping feet, raspy screams, and lightly-flavored chalk dissolving under your tongue. You roamed the sidewalks at two in the morning as everyone had been kicked out, but no one cared because Chima came from money, a rare case where two parents could be accounted for, and you'd all just be back inside the next evening.
You weren't sure when you had become disillusioned with it all—the drinks, the animal pills, which coalesced into saliva in your mouth, the noises, the gossip, the six ibuprofen to function behind a desk at work, the burnout of rinse and repeat, a conveyor belt that moved cyclically without a place to get off. To exit the ride meant to plunge head-first into abject terror, the unknowable, to become part of the yellow wallpaper that's never actually seen, to cease to be.
Being back in Clamors again after months away turned your heart against you, thrust the sound of its distress into your ears, dwarfing an animated conversation happening right at your circular table. You felt the music vibrate through your skin, make its way into your marrow, and rattle your entire skeleton.
Melby had a hand on your knee, blunt-tipped nails collecting sweat off your skin underneath them.
You couldn't really focus on that.
“So, this is Elio. He's hot.” Chima said without looking at you.
“Really hot!”
“So hot!”
“Did you hear? Shut up, stop talking! Did you hear? That slut got herself pregnant!” shouted Niva, a senior-most part of the circle behind you and Melby. She knew everything about everyone, though she wasn't supposed to keep tabs. “Apparently her baby daddy decided the pussy wasn't worth it anymore and ran!”
“I can't believe it. That'd mean someone was actually willing to sleep with her.” said Niquan Lamos, the fashionable one always gravitating toward pastels. “A man, at that. Disgusting.”
Everyone laughed, including you. Elio quietly observed it all, seated at your side, incapable of letting his polite smile slip with numerous prowling eyes on him.
“Have you fucked him yet?” Chima asked you without actually caring for a response.
“Oh, have you fucked him?”
“C'mon, don't hide it. How was it?”
“What was her name?” asked a newcomer in the group, fresh out of secondary school and not even twenty. He was a compact lad, both in size and from being squeezed between Chima and Niquan in the circular booth stretched in fuchsia leather, or at least, that's how it looked in your table’s corner of the club. “How come she isn't here anymore?”
First rule was: Never talk about things that could make the liquor go down harder. This was one of those things. Secondly, never ask questions about people who the group was no longer associated with. It just sounded ugly to acknowledge the rejects.
Tonight, however, was an exception because Elio's presence was an exciting change. They forgot how to behave.
“Hm, now that you mention it, I don't remember. How long has it been?” Chima said this absently, abysmally black eyes wholly captivated by the android. “Damn. Something like Mi-dan? Mi-an? Mi… Mi…”
“Her name was Mi-sun.” said a nobody from somewhere at the round table. It probably would've been easy to figure out who was talking if they were more important, but it took less effort to blame the music reverberating from the speakers mounted on the wall near their heads.
Melby’s hand traveled adventurously along your thigh, unmindful of how close she came to your crotch. You had a harder time ignoring that move and sipped busily from your jungle bird, holding it higher than your eyeline to admire its beautiful vermilion hue practically glowing against the strobe lights pulsing down from the ceiling.
“This is the first time I've seen you drink.” Elio was leaned into you, wise to the fact that you wouldn't hear him any other way. His lips nearly touched your ear, voice honeyed, caring, all for you. You were halfway through your second jungle bird. “Please don't overdo it. The adverse effects of overconsumption of alcohol will cause you great discomfort tom—”
“Thank you, Elio.” For just a moment, you wondered how irreversibly damaging it would be to just grab his hand and sprint out of there. You drank some more to weaken your resolve, add lead into your legs. “I'll be good if you be good.”
Elio nodded appreciatively.
“Why was Mi-sun kicked out?” again asked the new face from before, plain and boyish-looking, Chima's fresh catch. They just kept getting younger and the alcohol just kept tasting worse. You forced it all down, anyway. “Well? Well? Well?”
“She was talking crazy shit,” Melby piped up with a drawl, fingernail swirling around a dark purple bruise on your thigh. She pushed in hard enough to remind you that it was still sore. “Like, she was fine one week and then every single night after that she would nooooot shut up about some wild government conspiracy theories.”
“Oh, right.” Chima laughed while forcing everybody out of their seats so he could stand. “I remember now. Yeah, she went completely insane. I think she was talking about androids being used for population control or something. Weird. Hey, let's dance.”
“That was a year ago?” Niva wanted Chima to confirm. “A year, right?”
“Over a year now. Who cares?” Melby said, staying put beside you while the rest of the booth vacated. “She’ll just end up dead in the slums like all the rest. Uh, they do all die, right?”
“Who cares?” Chima echoed, nesting his shoulders high to his ears in a shrug before walking away. “Who has the animal crackers?”
“Sounds about right.” Niva was unconvinced, doubt lingering in her words until Chima came around to rummage her purse for pills. “Oh! Only take one, they're so expensive!”
Chima stuck three in his mouth. “Don’t kill the vibe.” He left without a glance back toward all the no-face, nameless nobodies willing to lick the underside of his shoes if it meant they'd be acknowledged and given features—eyes, lips, hair, an identity.
Niquan was satisfied with just one, offering a subtle wash of relief to Niva, who was just about depleted of her supply at that point and used the last of it for herself, tongue lapping at the inside of her plastic envelope.
You were almost finished with your jungle bird, contemplating a third even though you had entered the territory where one more could mean the difference between a happy buzz and splintering headaches tomorrow, just as Elio warned. The ice cubes had melted into a smooth watercolor appearance and turned from red to blue to green to purple to pink as the lights gushed down from above.
“I don't remember what she looks like.” you admitted to Melby who gazed into you, squeezing your thigh meaningfully. Again, you didn't pay attention. “Mi-sun, I mean. Were we friends? Did I ever drink with her? Have I ever slept over at her house?”
“No!” Melby snapped, affronted. “You're mistaking her for me. You guys never even had a conversation. You hated her guts. You thought she was a freak.”
You made a sound into the last of your drink, unsure whether she was lying to you or not. “Maybe. Maybe. Was I okay with her being kicked out?”
“Totally.” she said, casting a fleeting look of disdain toward Elio, lip curling at one side. “Chima only counted yours and mine and Niva’s votes since we've been here the longest.”
“That's…” You licked your lips and then the rim of your glass, secretly wishing your tongue would snag an uneven crack so you’d start to bleed. “Why don't I remember anything?”
Melby giggled. “Because you've been drinking, babe. It'll come back to you. What animal cracker do you want tonight? Giraffe or cat?”
“Hm?” You were elsewhere.
Until now, you had gone numb to your surroundings thanks to the licorice notes of black strap rum and bitter Campari and pucker of pineapple juice that made for a mostly pleasant experience in your throat.
You were present in that moment, venturing a look around at the dance floor crammed with bodies (human and android) moving in rhythm to the music, in time with each other to create a oneness, a synchronism so strange that it put the hairs on the back of the neck on end like spines.
Why did it all look so different now? So alien? As if you were seeing an image from your nightmares in real life.
Elio failed to convince you not to have another drink brought to the table after all, meanwhile Melby said she was disappointed you didn't get something stronger, claiming you used to do it all the time.
That's right. You did, didn't you?
“Hey.” Chima had emerged from the shapeless cluster of sweating, drunk, wriggling bodies a short while later. He reached into the booth, gathering a fistful of Elio's button-up shirt, and looked at you with a malicious gleam, possibly just your imagination, that just dared you to protest. “I know you don't mind if I borrow him for a while, right? Of course not. The rest of us are curious about him. We’ll be gentle.”
You would’ve believed someone if they said your tongue was cut out, because as much as you wanted to slice into him and spit poison in his wounds with your words, rub it raw, deep into the bone, nothing came up.
Not a breath nor a feeble sob.
Don't touch him. Nothing.
“So, you're chill with it?” Chima, beautiful Chima with deep-dark skin sparkling in rhinestones and spray-on glitter as though he were a vessel for all the stars in the cosmos, bared his straight, white teeth at you in the form of an affable grin.
Eat shit. Bitter silence.
He asked you the same thing again but grew bored and gave up on expecting you to do anything interesting. Elio was led away by the front of his shirt to the amalgamation of bodies like a sacrifice for the great black maw belonging to an abomination.
A few broke away from the core. Niva and Niquan were identifiable since you'd known them longer. The rest were unfamiliar to you—the no names and the tiny young man, the android bartender, the disc jockey, the bodies climbing over each other and melting back into a single incoherent mass.
They all looked exactly the same.
“I wanna dance too, let's go!” Melby struggled with one of your arms while attempting to scoot her way out of the booth, but the alcohol and broodiness made your body into a stump, sturdy and immobile, roots bursting through the bottoms of your shoes and the shiny floor.
She plopped back down. “Seriously? What's up with you?”
“It's too hot,” you reasoned, sticking a fingernail into the fresh glass in front of you, swishing the liquid around to make everything a more palatable blend. “If you want to dance, I'm not stopping you.”
“You're acting so weird.” Melby said, lost somewhere between frustration and astonishment while pulling a clear baggy from her pants pocket. A couple small pills moved inside, pink residue clouding the plastic. She plucked out one without looking. “Hey, open up. You're being a huge snoozefest. This'll loosen you up.”
When you felt her acrylic fingernails press against the corner of your lips, you gently pushed her hand back and nursed your drink some more. “No thanks.”
Melby’s tongue lashed against her gums, sharp and disapproving. “Why are you being such a fucking buzzkill tonight?” She traced your line of sight to Elio, to the others grabbing and fondling him, to his eyes looking right back at you. “We haven't seen each other in months. Now all you do is stare at that android.”
“It's my job, Melby.” You took the damp paper napkin from under your drink to dab your forehead at the sweat, trying to cool yourself. “I can't help that.”
“You can take one night away from your job.” she decided, taking hold of your lower mandible with a claw and crammed the chalky pink pill through lips and teeth into the pocket underneath your tongue. “You know the drill. Let it dissolve all the way. Stop making faces! It doesn't taste that bad.”
You tried to jerk your head away, but her grip was surprisingly solid.
“Melby! What the hell?!” It came out garbled around her fingers still resting in your mouth, filling the reservoir below your tongue with saliva.
Melby, blue-eyed and blonde with pale pink skin that always reddened in the electrifying, hot air in the club, was completely flushed from her face down to her chest. Her eyes had darkened upon withdrawing her two fingers, glossing your lips with spittle.
“I missed you.” she said, outlining the shape of your mouth until the skin started to tingle. “Did you miss me? I've been really lonely.”
Your least favorite part of taking an animal cracker was the aftertaste that was the equivalent of eating sidewalk chalk and rubbing alcohol with a whisper of strawberry wafting up into your nostrils, clinging to every permeable membrane in your mouth and making your cheeks tremble.
“I—yeah. Yeah, I missed you.” You tried to sink the lingering taste down your throat with a swish and swallow from the jungle bird. “I didn't know what I was getting into with this whole Hyperion gig. I feel like I'm constantly watching Elio. Twenty-four seven.”
Elio never lost track of you throughout the ordeal, his being unable to escape the hands on his body and fight against the programming in his brain meant exclusively for human satisfaction. There were moments where you saw each other clearly, empty windows between writhing bodies, and you were convinced he tried to convey a very human-like discomfort that you immediately pretended like you hadn't seen.
Interfering meant going against the group. There was nothing you could do about it except allow them to eviscerate Elio if that's what they wanted. You could only sit there, drowning in rum and pineapple and aperitif and demerara sugar and scorching strobe lights and music bashing your skull and Melby unfastening buttons on your pants, but for some reason, that didn't quite register as what it was to you.
“Are you coming home with me tonight?” Melby asked so sweetly that it made your heart flutter, or maybe that was the pill taking effect. “We always have fun together. I've really missed it. It isn't the same without you.”
“What—” You almost tipped the red cocktail while reaching over it for a water glass that no one had touched. You slugged half in one go. “Wait. What are you even saying? I gotta take care of Elio.”
“Oh my god,” she seethed, taking her hand out of your pants to wipe her fingers on the napkin you used earlier. “Just tell him to leave. He has to listen to you. He’ll be okay.”
Fuzz had started to collect in your head, filling the entire dome with a warm, soft feeling that spread like a rapidly-growing fungus down the brainstem, coiled around your spine, stuffed your jaws with cotton, sucked all the moisture from your throat, widened your chest with stuff, and ignited kindling that had been sitting in the bottom of your stomach.
Just now, the deafening tone of music had been reduced to a throbbing bass that jarred your bones and pulsed in your hands and feet. Your vision wasn't much different than it had been before, only now you seemed to move at lightning speed, people and shapes and lights all confused watercolor smears of you shifted too quickly.
“Can't.” You recalled Melby had said something. “Elio, first. Do you see him?”
“No.” she said, watching Chima hook his fingers through the belt loops on Elio’s pants, knocking their pelvises together in time with the music. “Come on, I'll call a cab and we can go home. We’ll have a good time away from everyone.”
You made a grab for the water glass again, throat the driest it had ever been. A mistimed gasp came out when the rim of the glass struck your teeth, missing your mouth almost completely. Luckily, only a little water got on your shirt, molding it to your chest like a cold second skin.
“God, that's good,” you moaned, draining the rest of it. “What are you even talking about? A good time?”
She eyed you uneasily. “What do you mean? What do you remember when you're with me?”
“Pfft,” you scoffed, stealing yet another water glass you managed to grapple with two hands so it'd stop swaying. “What do you mean, what do I mean? I hit the pillow and I'm out. Why?”
After a few long swigs of ice water, the dance floor was less a mangled disarray of smoke and neon colors, more definitive and jagged—the stage, the speakers, the turntable where the disc jockey played. Even the beastly blob of grinding, convulsing people started looking like people.
Melby had lost all the red in her face, eyes riveted to the half-empty jungle juice in front of you, perhaps counting the beads of condensation dripping from its tall form.
“You're usually really talkative. I think you're lying to me right now to get out of it.”
“Huh?” You were done with the second water, staring at her unfocused but suspicious. “Lying about what?”
“I—” Melby withered in her seat, distracted by something ahead that you couldn't see, a bejeweled nail wedged between her teeth. “No, nothing. Never mind.”
“Whatever,” you murmured. “I'm outta here.”
Melby didn't stop you from leaving behind money for your drinks before you stumbled away from the booth toward the dancefloor, evading bodies that came flying toward you with erratic, jerky movements not at all matching the pounding beat coming from the stage.
The floor was actually hundreds of individually tinted blocks of plexiglass with colored bulbs screwed in underneath.
During the day, Clamors kept it covered with a special protectant and tarp to maintain the integrity of the glass, but at night, it was illuminated like a nonsensical rainbow checkerboard. Each square took on a life of its own, flickering in unison with songs played throughout the night, warping into mandalas and spirals and disorienting waves that most people using animal crackers couldn’t stomach for long.
You were close to vomiting up the jungle birds and your meager lunch from Radiant Bistro that afternoon when you found Elio within the swarm of partiers that reeked of sour body odor and stale alcohol.
He stood amid it all with a stiff spine, the loveliness of his face covered by shadows and terrible bursts of light that heightened his vacuous stare into the faces of those touching him.
The only other time you had seen him so devoid of life was in the presence of Researcher Kim. Now, he looked in such a way at Chima, at Niva, at Niquan—the nameless and the boy were too scared of overstepping to have a part in it yet straggled nearby to feel like they meant something.
Elio saw you jostling through the crowd toward him, hardened amber regaining luminosity. You became the center of his world again with just a look, yet your world was entirely unthawed ice and serrated stalactites growing ever sharper, heavier, closer to piercing and crushing at a single point below them. The forest of brittle minerals in your mind needed just a single resounding event to loosen, to fall, to impale indiscriminately.
That moment finally happened as you approached Chima, his hand stroking Elio under every layer meant to keep him out. Your future was a far-off thing, light years away and completely untouchable, no matter how many times you were threatened with your profile, how you'd become nothing without your associations, how the entire world would cringe in disgust at your existence and leave you to rot.
You took Chima's hand out of Elio’s pants, hoping you had the strength in yours to twist his wrist so it hurt, wanting nothing more than to actually shatter the bone with just the pure hatred surging down into your grip. With the other hand, you drew it high behind your shoulder, muscles tense, bone popping from an unnatural angle, dense club air gushing between your fingers right before your palm released a thunderous crack against his cheek that shot up the length of your arm in stinging ripples.
“No, stop!” Elio tore you away too late, right after weakness reentered your body, and he was able to easily restrain you. “What have you done?”
The clique had rallied around Chima, steadied him and examined the mark on his cheek, which was already blowing up in size.
He stared at you with amazement that quickly contorted into pure incandescence. His face was the ugliest thing you had ever seen, eyes an uninviting, pitless, and hollow place. This, you thought, was what he truly looked like beneath the popularity, cosmetics, money, and illusion of drugs.
“Keep your hands to yourself!” you screamed.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He tried to lunge at you but was held back by Niva, Niquan, and various ghostly hands. “How dare you. How dare you touch me, you sad sack of shit! You ungrateful nobody! I can ruin you! I can make sure you get thrown into the slums and your fucking insides get ate out by all those filthy savages.”
“That's better than this.” You felt Elio tighten his arms around you, feet shuffling backward to try to separate you from this. Dancers were beginning to gather around the scene, both grossly fascinated and terrified because they'd never seen a fight between humans. “It's better than the stupid drugs. It's better than this club. It's better than all your shitty little followers. It’s better than you.”
To this, Chima stared wide-eyed and gave a derisive laugh. “You seriously hit me because I was touching the android? He's a fucking machine! What else is he useful for?!”
You were still being coaxed out of the gathering, Elio's lips whispering pacifying words into your ear that you didn't hear.
“Don't—Don’t talk about him like that.”
Chima’s visage relaxed into one you were used to seeing. A man who knew he had all the time and power in the world and that he could do anything with it. He swatted away all the helping hands and straightened his clothes.
“Not only are you fucking insane,” he said, smiling without remorse. “Now, you're also dead.”
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The decision to retch into a convenience store trash can happened because you couldn't bring yourself to do it in the neatly barbered bush you had been closer to at the time. You had separated the metal lid from the metal body so you could simply lean over and spew into it freely.
Smells emanating from inside—expedited food rottage from summer heat, curdled drinks, bagged-up dog shit, and God knows what else—did better to evacuate your stomach than the insane lighted floor in Clamors.
Most of what came up lacked the usual sourness, ran watery like a geyser of diluted red jungle bird with occasional chunks of undigested sandwich and probably everything from three days ago.
Elio wiped your face clean at every chance he got, those seldom moments where you could cough and catch your breath for just a few seconds before your stomach clenched and more climbed up your esophagus and exited your body. There wasn't much he could do apart from dab your skin and keep your clothes from the trajectory.
“Why?” Elio spoke sometime later once the waves of nausea had tapered to a degree where you could sit on a bench outside the convenience store and take a bottle of water he had ready for you. “Why did you do it?”
“Because—” you said, not bothering to finish after swigging and swishing and spitting the acrid taste that lingered on your tongue, between your teeth, and in the ridges of your gums. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get rid of it all. It stuck in your mouth like bitter tar. “Because.”
You went on to repeat the rinse and swish a few more times, ultimately tilting the bottle upside down to crush the cheap plastic in your fist so it gushed down on your head.
For a second, you imagined turning on a spigot to shock your scalp with cold water, flattening all your hair, pasting your clothes flush and translucent to your body like a second skin to peel away later.
The humid nighttime air was suddenly so much less oppressive than it had been. A subtle breeze had picked up throughout the course of the day, not doing much to tame the heat overall, but the fat pearls of water streaming down your back made you shiver. You counted all the drops that coalesced into shimmering beads on the tips of your hair, your eyelashes, and your nose and fell onto the pale gray cement underfoot.
Elio had already unbuttoned his shirt to the navel, just above where he had rebuckled his pants and tried to pull the rest of the fabric free.
“Oh, Elio. Don't.”
He pulled you into him despite your protest, swathing you from behind first with the shirt and then his arms as he held you against his chest. Fortunately, he had worn an airy undershirt so his body wasn't on display for anyone else, though there was no one around at this hour.
He soothed you with long strokes along your back. His touch amplified to a point where it hurt as much as it felt good. You knew what fingers he used more pressure with, where the heel of his hand touched you next. You could feel where he chose to linger and knead at knots under your skin, imagining the sensation similar to using a sharpened stone or ice pick
“I'm fucked.” you mumbled sullenly in his embrace, warmth dissipated as you had soaked his undershirt all the way through. “I'm so fucked.”
“It was unwise, yes,” he said in silken tones from atop your head, thin jaw pushed down into your wet hair, grinding and rotating when he'd speak. “I had you in my mind the entire time. I was prepared to let him do as he pleased if it meant preventing a confrontation—I failed. But, I hadn't expected you to hit him. None of the outcomes I calculated had that conclusion. I'm sorry.”
“No. I'm glad I did it.” You worried that you were being overconfident, too hopeful toward a future unraveling at your feet as you spoke. “I couldn’t stand how everyone was staring at you—touching you. Everything just felt so wrong, but, why? The only thing that was different was you being there, Elio. I saw you—you looked so uncomfortable. I was so hot. I think I was seeing things after taking the animal cracker. I just got so angry.”
Usually, Elio was the type to scavenge your history as thoroughly as he could, however minimal or inconsequential it all seemed to you at the time. It was a quintessential part of his programming as an android—of all androids—to want to dissect everything there was to know about their masters, knowing them better than their masters knew themselves.
You considered making it effortless for him, volunteering your past with animal crackers and how they used to not hurt at all. At one time, you could binge them for days without violent side effects that’d plague a normal person for weeks.
“There are no pharmacological benefits associated with their use,” was what you heard him say in your head, firm yet loving, melting into his sensual strokes tracing parallel along the length of your spine. “Prolonged use has been known to create perforations in the gastrointestinal tract, heart dysrhythmias…”
He didn't regurgitate that information at you. In fact, he said nothing at all. Besides the hand sweeping down your body steadily, lips and shapely nose burrowed in your limp seaweed-string hair, he didn't move at all. There was no stuttering heartbeat between you except your own. Even his breaths had gone still, chest straight down and unmoving.
Elio was a machine.
It was so easy to forget while wrapped up in daily mundanities. It wasn't so easy to forget in this moment where you wanted to crack him open, scoop out each precious piece of him with your bare hands, and hide yourself within his husk.
You were sick of the silence, so you pinched him hard under the arm, right next to the crease starting his shoulder. It made you feel better to do so, and he'd pay attention to you—
He hissed and reeled away from your touch, startling you out of his arms because you didn't know how else to react.
“Did you—Elio, did you feel that?” you asked incredulously, voice whittling into a self-conscious mumble once you realized the words leaving your mouth. They didn't stop. “Did that hurt you?”
The spot where you pinched was hard to see from the layer of his shirt sleeve, but his fingers rubbed there insistently like he were actually trying to alleviate pain.
“Once, during my early development, Researcher Kim had told me he wanted to close the gap between what people think separates androids and humans.” Elio explained, coming close again to touch you and dry your temples with his shirt on your back. “It's unlikely that what you perceive as pain and what I am programmed to perceive as pain are absolutely comparable, but there's some common ground.”
“I'm sorry, Elio. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't know I could.” Your voice weakened to a whisper, throat clenched in shame as your skin grew hot. It was like you were still stuck in the throbbing, stiff air of the club and not in the spacious nighttime breeze.
He looked you in the face, almost-orange eyes flitting inside their orbital sockets trying to find something distant and unknown in your expression. You guessed he was assessing your sincerity—not for himself because he needed it, but to know how it took shape on you and bent your brows, molded your lips, dimpled your chin, deepened the lines.
Then he asked, "If I hadn't reacted—if my circuitry were less sensitive and I could feel nothing at all aside from your fingers on my skin, would you have done it again? Would you keep doing it?"
"What are you trying to say?”
"Globally, since the widespread distribution of androids, the occurrence of domestic and public disputes has been halved. I have been designed to be non-violent, as have all of my predecessors.” As if for effect, Elio took one of your hands and pushed your palm flat to his warm cheek. “I have no desire to hurt you, but I am also incapable of doing so.”
You couldn't wrench yourself from his grip, so that's how you remained, caressing his soft, smooth skin while your thumbpad skirted along the round bone below his eye.
This was more than you could handle right now. All of the illness and nausea that came with the burdensome summer heat, the animal cracker, every bit of liquid and food to enter your stomach, the memory of slapping Chima—it came back, crashing down like an avalanche carrying your regrets, fears, malaise.
“I'm not going to hit you.” You were gagging around saliva pooling into the front of your mouth. “Chima was different. He deserved it.”
“Perhaps,” Elio agreed, entwining fingers with the ones on his cheek. He kissed your open palm with great passion and some semblance of regret. “But, I wish you would have hit me instead. I have failed one of the most basic parts of programming by putting you and others in harm. You may now end up suffering greatly because of it.”
You did get sick again.
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Elio had persistently warded off Researcher Kim’s video calls for three days while you recovered upstairs beneath every comforter you owned, maximum air conditioning, and heavy curtains to shun out all natural light from ever reaching your bedside. Time came and went without peril or concept to you, seeming to evaporate into the air like nothing, much like how your steady, quiet breaths did the same. They simply came and went; inhale and exhale, no writhing white plumes drifted overhead to prove they belonged to you or that you were even alive. Not in the dead of summer.
  Five days total had passed before you could take the staircase down from the loft without Elio's assistance and eat or drink anything of substance that didn't end with it all being violently evacuated from your body.
Sleep remained elusive to you despite the sedatives and special hot tea recipes from online that Elio pushed down your throat. The migraines persisted even with prescription painkillers Melby had stolen for you forever ago and rough romps of sex that left you winded, glistening, and cold on the sheets when the oscillating fans blew air across your skin.
Whatever excuse Elio had fed to Researcher Kim over the days you were incapacitated worked because when you were finally back at the counter on a video call with him, he didn't ask you about it or chastise you much about the holes in your reports for that week.
“I see that Elio had been proving himself to be quite self-sufficient. I have here six separate occasions where he's ventured out on his own?” Kim looped a stylus through his fingers fluidly, concentrating on what little information he could glean from your submissions. “Henrietta's, mostly. I see he's had to visit the dry cleaners. General store. Pharmacy. He's also been completing the six to ten interactions by himself. Absolutely phenomenal!”
Your attention kept drifting away from Kim. It went to Elio, who placed a white mug down quietly next to you, the handle within reach of your fingers. Beyond the pale-gray wisps spiraling up into the air and dissipating among the snaking pipes sprawling the high ceiling, the liquid inside was pale yellow. Diluted green tea, maybe white tea, if you had to guess. They were among the few things you could stomach right now.
He offered you a fast smile, somewhat unlike himself, and leaned into your lips.
The sight went unnoticed by Kim, who was still captivated by the level of initiative and intelligence his creation displayed. Every word you managed to construct through sedative-induced delirium mesmerized him so thoroughly that he missed the groping hands under your shirt, the smothered moans, and the fact that you had exited view of the screen for fifteen minutes while being laid out on the couch and feasted on through an orgasm.
Wendy Carmichael Can Cook came on the television, a solid distraction for Elio. Today’s episode was a rerun featuring some sort of elevated mush dinner popular in the slums. With some canned foods capable of surviving nuclear fallout, herbs you were almost positive had gone extinct forty years ago, and spices so rare they were untouchable, Wendy concocted something truly groundbreaking to the audience’s eyes.
Elio looked only half-interested in the episode. Meanwhile, you went to the bathroom to clean yourself up and took three painkillers before sitting back down behind the counter. Researcher Kim had yet to lose the wind in his lungs, though now you weren't sure what he was talking about.
The tea was lukewarm and non-irritating just like you thought it'd be.
Your phone had survived the whole five days on a single charge as you had been too afraid to touch it, not because you were scared to see what was there but because you didn't want to know what was no longer there.
True to the fear, while holding a large breath you had sucked into your lungs, believing it to be the sturdiest barrier against whatever you'd discover, there was no one left in your phone log—except Melby.
The rest: Chima, Niva, Niquan, Marcos, Mother, and all the others who had once been listed there before like mock trophies to bolster your sense of worth, the swell of pride that came from knowing important people and integrating yourself into their lives to be something special, simply did not exist anymore.
You didn't have to search up your public profile to know that it was barren as well.
Once Chima went, everyone else went with him—both from the circle and those you'd networked throughout life. Even if it had been someone else, the end result would've stayed the same, exactly as it is now.
“What do you want? I'm not supposed to be talking to you.” Melby had answered her phone after six rings. The background seemed purposefully mute for your call. Perhaps she was just at home nursing the after-effects of things as well. “You there?”
Researcher Kim sieved through paperwork, now entranced by comparing Elio's earlier behaviors in the infancy of design to now. You lowered the volume to where his voice was a low hum, like mumbling through a wall you flattened yourself to.
“Let me guess, Chima told you that?” you said, sipping gingerly from your mug. “How much did he tell you? Was he actually honest, or did he just tell you I was fucking crazy?”
“You weren't acting right all night.” Melby countered in her surefooted drawl. “I don't understand what's happening to you, or why you've been acting so differently. You shouldn't have hit Chima.”
“He shouldn't have touched Elio.”
You could imagine her temper flaring, fair skin glowing pink in the face and chest as she kicked around the comforters on her bed. She strangled a sound in her throat that emanated through the phone as a low groan. Strands of her fried blonde hair scuffed together like pieces of straw when she scratched her head. It was unmistakable.
“What is going on with you?” she demanded, on the verge of tears, voice fading out in glimpses like she was moving away from the speaker. “Elio—he���s just an android. I know he's some radical new innovation, but he'll be saturating the market in six months like every other Hyperion android. There's always going to be more of him. Chima, though, he's actually human. You can just throw away an android.”
Emotions aside—Melby wasn't wrong.
The price of innovation always meant leaving something behind. Whether or not you wanted to see it, if Elio passed his testing period, he'd be decommissioned in a metal box down in the basement at Hyperion while copies and variations of him were added to the heaps of scrap in landfill once the next model came out.
Melby then said something else, “I don't think this is about the android.”
“Oh?” you said, passing a glance along toward the tablet to see that Kim still had his nose pointed down. “Maybe you're right. You know me so well.”
“Do you want to know what I think?” Melby asked.
You observed while Elio roamed the apartment, crouching to pick up the odds and ends that had gone neglected over the days you'd been bedridden, and he had stayed with you to keep you company. He tossed soiled clothes into a hamper, crumbled medication wrappers into the trash, and took your cold tea away to prepare more.
Inspired by your silence, mistaking it as timid submission, Melby went on. “I know you must think we're just being shepherded along, just doing whatever we're told because we don't know what else to do other than follow the loudest voice in the crowd.”
“You know me so well.”
“I know you blame everyone else for what happened at Clamors, but you put yourself in that situation.” Melby said, interjecting in a pitch higher when she heard you take in a breath, “Aht! Aht! I'm not done! No one else is gonna talk to you now, so I'll tell you what we're all thinking: Our circle? We're special. If we always smile and talk about the same things and agree about the same things, we stay together. We stay safe. You've never really wanted to do that, it was always noticeable. I think that's why you and Mi-sun always got along, because you two just did things to fit in, not because you actually cared or wanted to be a part of it.
“I didn't lose you, right? Chima always talked about ways of getting you out of the group. He didn't think you were trustworthy. I guess he was right because you slapped him. Do you know how weird is it for humans to do that nowadays? Apparently it used to be super common to beat up your wives and kids, but now people just do it to androids. But, it's better that way, right?”
“I don't know.” You really didn't.
Elio came back around with a steeping tea bag and a second mug half-full of something darker yellow, like urine. You took the handle to give it a whiff (it smelled homey and savory). Meanwhile, he took away the tablet and ended the video call without a word to Researcher Kim. The energy wasn't there for you to reprimand him nor to mess up your face in mostly feigned surprise.
“It's chicken broth.” He was able to say freely despite Melby blathering on. “Give it a try and let me know if it's too strong. We need to start reintroducing foods back into your diet.”
You drank from the tea mug instead, swiveling the barstool so your back faced him.
“I've thought about it some, and I think we're terrified of each other. Humans don't know how to truly trust one another anymore. That’s why we rely on androids for, like, everything.” Melby continued, “I think, and this is just my opinion, that we actually really miss each other. I think we want to touch and hug and love each other. There are still some people who do. There's a market out there for human-human porn, so it's not like it's unbelievable, but we basically treat each other like we're extinct. It's weird.
“I've done it before, y'know? I've kissed a man. I've kissed a woman. I've fucked both before. You and I—no, never mind. It doesn't count. I've thought about kissing you so many times. I wanted to do a lot more than just that, too.”
The corner seam of your thumbnail had started to bleed after you dug through old scabs and scar tissue built on top of it, your body’s valiant attempts to keep normalcy despite the mutilation that came back again and again. You watched brilliant carmine ooze from the wound, filling the crevices between your nail and skin, crawling upwards to your knuckle before Elio had stifled the area with a warm, damp rag.
Melby let out a long sigh. You envisioned she had just thrown aside a bunch of decorative cushions and flopped down in a chair, or had been pacing her bedroom and finally given up by throwing herself supine on the mattress.
“I'm going to miss you being there.” she declared. “I think—I think you're the closest I've ever come to truly loving someone. At least, I think that's what you'd call it.”
You held your thumb erect for Elio to wrap it in a neon-orange bandage with pink smiles. His lips pressed gently to the sore finger, making slow, wet work to the back of your hand and then the inside of your wrist to feel your pulse bounce against his mouth.
“I'm sorry.” you said at last, putting as much sentiment into those sparse words as you could. A part of you meant it genuinely as an apology for causing her trouble, for her unrealized dreams and lust, for the world you both suffered in and would never know anything else. “Melby, I have one last favor to ask of you.”
She hesitated, likely believing that doing more would get her expulsed from the circle. “Just one?”
“Just one.” You nodded at empty air. “I know either you or Niva have Mi-sun’s phone number. Can I have it?”
Again, Melby stalled, though this time you figured it was out of confusion. “That’s what you want? She might be dead somewhere in the slums, you know?”
“Not if she's pregnant.” you countered. “Niva seemed pretty convinced that night that she was alive and well after being knocked up.”
Melby sucked on her teeth, a moist, popping sound into the speaker. “Niva says a lot of stupid shit because she likes to hijack conversations. Fine. Whatever. I'll text it to you, but you only have one minute because then I'm blocking you for good.”
To this, your heart actually stirred and squeezed, tightening so much it stole your breath from your lungs. Your entire chest felt like it shriveled into itself three sizes smaller as though to accommodate you fitting into a ball within yourself. Dread had opened a chasm wide in your stomach. Everything inside that gory cavity was swallowed up, leaving it vacant and hollow.
This was what it was like to mourn, you considered. It wasn't the same thing you felt the night you cried in the streets after fighting with Mother and losing Marcos. It wasn't the same as the last five days being wrapped in agony, lamenting the loss of a group you'd given years of your life to appeasing.
It was knowing that once Melby was gone, you were lost in the dark, and there was no way out of it. People with delinquent profiles didn't get redeemed—Wendy Carmichael lied and had never lived a life in the slums, a truth Elio had been disappointed to learn—they died in anonymity and poverty.
A notification came through just then, showing an eight-digit number presumed to belong to Mi-sun. You copied it quickly, although now your fingers felt numb and the person writing them down couldn't possibly have been you—
“Alright. It's done,” Melby said calmly. “I have to go. Will you be okay? Do you think people actually die when they go to the slums? I don't want—”
“Goodbye, Melby.” You ended the call and threw your phone on the countertop, far from your eyes so you wouldn't know the exact moment the world ended.
“And, fuck you.”
Elio had the sense to give you plenty of space after the ordeal and stayed busy downstairs cleaning the apartment while you tossed and turned in bed, legs knotted up in the sheets because nothing helped get you comfortable. At some point, through the thick of your adrenaline and despair, the buzz in your brain softened, and you were able to sleep until Elio joined you some hours later.
It was after midnight, and darkness pervaded everywhere. Above you, the snake pipes on the high ceiling writhed together in their intricate web just like every night, and you wondered why the wall of darkness hanging over you seemed closer than it usually did. Meanwhile, Elio faced you from his side of the bed and laid gentle strokes to the top of your head.
“I’ve reached the conclusion that I am defective.” Elio said tonelessly, startling you into such wakefulness that you sat upright from the sheets. “You've lost your friends because of me, and now your profile has fallen into delinquency. The inclination to ostracize what deviates from adapted, accepted social behaviors aligns with common survival tactics. This is an explanation that I understand, but it doesn't... sit right.”
Putting the blame on Elio to feel better would've been easy, and he would take it with grace and lay decadent caresses on your body as proof you were right. But he was too virtuous, and you secretly wanted to keep the credit of being the reason why Chima looked ugly and seethed into his cocktails.
“It sort of hurts,” you admitted. “It's a dull ache inside my bones. It makes me feel like everything inside my chest is shriveling up like a prune. Being abandoned—feeling lonely—is like always being cold. Thinking of it now, I don't know if there was ever a time I didn't feel cold around them. How shitty is it that I feel a little relieved?"
“If that's the case—” Elio rose up from his side of the bed, nudged apart your legs and settled between them. Most of his weight was still on his arms next to your head. In the waning moonlight, shadows deepened the lines around his mouth when he smiled. “I'm glad to have played some part in that release.”
Your fingertips walked lightly across his cheeks, along the planes of his face, as though marveling at him all over for the first time again. His skin always was most beautiful bathed in warm light, but the soft, silvery veil filtering in through the windows gave him ethereal grace.
The calm air upstairs shifted as your bodies stirred on the mattress, sheets strewn to the floor along with pieces of clothing that left you bare to the gray air while Elio gathered the skin of your hips in his hands and sucked on you.
It didn't matter if you closed your eyes or studied the movement on the ceiling while he devoured, lapped away the sticky stuff that glistened out of you like the silk of a spider’s thread before it could stain the sheets, because it always ended with the same kaleidoscopic bursts of color, wanton cries, and him chasing after another orgasm and then another.
He'd ravish you until puffs of hot breath hurt, and the tip of his tongue delivering a single stroke was enough to make you flinch and whimper. Your legs felt fatigued and trembled violently throughout the continued ministrations until you needed to beg him to stop, dignifying the demand with a hard yank to the thick hair on his scalp.
“I'm not done just yet, give me a moment.” He told you the same thing tonight as he did every other time. The pain in his head subsided as he dove back between your legs and laid his tongue as a paddle against you, cleaning the cum for as long as it took for him to be satisfied.
He came up so you could have a taste of yourself in his kiss, tongues wrapped together while he fisted his cock stiff and lubricated himself with the fluid from the tip. You moaned against his mouth when two fingers pushed inside you and thrust with an effortless glide and instilled so much confidence in him that he slid in a third to the knuckle.
“Mm, Elio, fuck me.” you managed between wet, sloppy kisses and splintered breaths. Three fingers were a tighter fit and wider than he was, but the way he angled them up into you was mind-numbing, could've made your tongue wag out of your mouth while panting like a pheromone-crazed animal.
Elio’s lips went from your face to your neck, down along the slope to your shoulder before he removed his fingers and slathered that narrow space in your legs with spend.
“Of course.” He obeyed dutifully but turned you on your side and seated one of your legs high on his arm. “Let's try something different tonight.”
The bulbous head of his cock glistened as it dragged across your groin, tapping those sore spots that made you twitch involuntarily with anticipation and staggered breaths. Elio concentrated on your face throughout it all, memorizing both those subtle and large changes that showed him what you liked the most.
You'd never believed that androids could be sexually adventurous in the same way that humans could, and perhaps that was the case despite the kinds of positions Elio put you in if you were willing. He would be conscientious of your mood beforehand and then adjust accordingly from there.
Some nights, it didn't go further than mouth-fucking you until you orgasmed to exhaustion. Other nights, when you were more pliable and especially affectionate, he'd rut his hips into your ass until you cried and the sheets were beyond saving.
Now, Elio observed you closely as the curve of his cock sank into you, sinew in his stomach clenching once he started thrusting.
At the start, your sounds were soft, and the rhythm made with his hips was one you had no trouble riding. You closed your eyes and focused on how that tilt in his cock pressed up against your walls and stroked all the right parts. His controlled pace unraveled after a while, thrusts turned mindless and greedy as the sting of slapping skin seemed to resonate all around.
You had bunched bits of pillow and bedspread in your fingers and drooled out onto the fabric because you couldn't close your mouth long enough between moans and gasps and lewd mutterings to stop it. You begged him to fuck you harder, deeper, and tear you open if that’s what he wanted to do and would keep you in ecstacy.
Elio indulged your high as he was able, rolling you from your side to your stomach and mounted you again. He was able to touch you better this way, fondle the globes of your ass, the pouches of fat in your hips, stomach, and chest, all the while sucking dark bruises all along your spine and shoulders.
His mouth would sometimes linger next to your ears, wherein he imitated every bit of his human likeness and breathed on you. And then, he would poorly stifle moans that inspired you to think too deeply about the extent to which he could and could not feel.
“Look at me.” Elio felt your walls tighten around his cock and wanted to stare you in the face through your orgasm. He put you on your back, thighs hiked high on his sturdy chest, so those final thrusts plowed deep and stole your screams. You writhed under him, eyes rolled up, bloodshot and pupiless, muscles drawn so tight that it felt as good as it did awful.
A surge of warmth leaked out onto the sheets as Elio took his half-hard cock from your body and let it soften the rest of the way in cold air. His hand roamed you with delicate, healing touches meant to beg forgiveness for how much you'd ache later on, and his lips were tender and slow against yours.
You kissed him back distractedly, unable to think of anything else but the stickiness between your legs and how you'd chosen to never notice it until now.
“What's wrong?” he asked, still pressed up against your mouth. “Are you unsatisfied? My refractory period ends in a few minutes. I can do as much as you'd like until you feel fulfilled.”
“Mm-mn,” you hummed, “that's not it.”
He didn't stun when you snagged your phone from the bedside table and turned on the backlight. You pointed it down at cloudy white globs drying on your crotch, a sight that you thought was vaguely familiar to you somehow. It struck you then that it was like a scene from a pornography or vulgar sketches some kid in secondary school got suspended for drawing.
Still, it couldn't have been possible.
“What is that?” you asked with unacquainted timidity.
Elio grabbed a package of wipes left bedside and spaced your legs apart to clean the mess he had left on you. He took his time with long, intentional strokes to avoid your sensitive parts as best he could, soiling a good handful from the package before asking if you wanted a bath.
“Answer me first,” you said.
He rose from the bed with one more kiss and collected your clothes from the floor. They were draped nicely over his arm, whereas he stood there before you nude, enveloped by the moon’s blue luster.
At first glance, his smile seemed the same adoring kind that he always held for you, and yet it evoked some undeterminable sadness to well up in your chest and cling there.
“It’s the result of a body never truly being your own.”
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Mi-sun’s house wasn't far from your apartment, as you recalled. It took a bit of investigative work online to track down her address (via Elio), mainly because it had been well over a year since you'd last needed to know it and the phone number Melby had given you was disconnected, but once you had the coordinates plugged into your phone, it was just one begrudging trek through sultry summertime air to reach her front door.
When you had finally made it to that point, however, eyes leveled down at a dirty, faded doormat that had seen plenty of seasons and wintery salt, you weren't sure how to proceed.
There wasn't any real reason why you were standing there now, yet you felt that you needed to be there anyway. Maybe it could be called seeking solidarity with someone who was enduring the same inevitable ending you were, or maybe the curiosity about her state of being was what won out dominantly. You couldn't be sure of your own motivations—only that you were there, and you needed her to know you were.
After three solid knocks with your knuckles, you let your hand fall and waited by scuffing the soles of your shoes on the coarse mat underfoot. It still had some springiness to it as you scrubbed. The front door was old and brown, having lost its elegant lacquer long ago. You remembered Mi-sun had mentioned a few times before that she had wanted to make the door cute with white paint and a frilly outdoor wreath but could never get around to it.
You guessed she never did.
“Should we knock again?” Elio asked across your shoulder, the bulk of his frame casting a cooling shadow over your body. He had gone out to Henrietta's by himself the other day when you told him what you intended to do and bought supplies to make a cake and special plastic Tupperware meant to keep it from moving around.
The only explanation he had given you about an hour ago, after locking the apartment door and stepping out onto the sidewalk, hot enough in the midday sun to melt the bottoms of your shoes to the pavement while you walked, was that Mi-sun was an old friend, and it was a safe gift even for a pregnant woman.
You never found the courage to divulge just how involved you had been in her expulsion from Chima's circle, even though you knew it'd be impossible for him to think less of you from it.
A minute passed, and then so did two more before you realized that no one was coming to the door. While listening for movement—a television, a hissing stovetop, shuffling slippers on top of creaking floorboards, anything at all aside from stiff silence, you understood that it was unlikely anyone had lived there in quite a while.
“I don't know where else she could be.” you said, now back at Elio's side, where he flicked away tiny splinters of old wood and shiny glaze that peeled off your damp skin like cut-up stickers. He moved the visor above your brow gently, adjusting the position of it to better shield your eyes, but seemed more to just want the proximity than anything else.
The longer he fiddled with things—your hat, the flecks of things he missed on your ear, wrinkles in your t-shirt—the more apparent it was to you that he was contemplating something else. You were trying hard not to do anything that would spur him into making the next suggestion you knew was coming.
“There is one other place we haven't tried.” he said, switching from your shoulder to tucking pieces of hair securely behind your ear and dabbing sweat off your neck with a handful of napkins he had picked up at a convenience store while grabbing you water. “The likelihood of Mi-sun’s profile falling into delinquency and being able to maintain residence within the city is less than twenty percent. However—”
“I know.” You breathed out hot air and sucked it right back into your lungs. Maybe if you did that enough times it'd burn them, shrivel them up like prunes. “I know where she is. Let's wait until it cools down to go, though. I'll probably pass out if I have to see any of that right now.”
“Today on Loti Khan’s Food Tours of Retro City, she said that Asakawa on Fifteenth is a spot worth visiting during the summertime because of their cold noodle dishes. Hiyashi Chuka was what she suggested, I believe. I've already committed the menu to memory, and they have well over twenty different cold dishes and beverages. Their affordability isn't as stellar as Rainbow Bistro, but Loti says—”
Wendy Carmichael was now a disgraced name in your household after Elio had spent a few hours one afternoon researching the woman’s true life story. She had been born into the elite class with a mother sitting at the top of the food chain in Retro City’s governing body, attended culinary arts schools across the world yet never reached the acclaim she coveted until she made up the whole spiel about clawing her way out of the slums.
Crawling back from the slums once you were in them just wasn't feasible. Only the worst of the worst—thieves, profile delinquents, murderers, lepers, and unwanteds were kept there, like trash crowded and barred in a landfill. If you found yourself in the slums somehow, no one would help you out of them because that would mean tarnishing their own reputations.
You were as good as dead.
You were dead.
Elio had carried around a brown paper bag housing the cake for most of the day, never once setting it down. His features never flinched when the straw handles sank into parallel dents in his skin, long stripes that looked like they'd be sore to you, but he never conveyed any discomfort. He merely floated along wherever you went, undeterred by your dour, soulless wandering, which lasted until the sun emblazoned the sky in dim fire and pinks.
Those hues were leached by the close, calming gradient of greens, blues, and darker blues that reached so quickly you could follow the sprawl of them until they had ensnared the daylight. The sun sank somewhere betwixt skyscrapers, and the air still felt thick as the mucus in your throat but bearable.
That same sky followed you on the cab ride across the city. You imagined the darkening air rushing alongside the vehicle with you as if containing it on rails, guiding you closer towards the slums. Once the skyscrapers were gone, far away in a suffocating yellow haze from the sleepless city, and the residential zone had thinned out of the rest of its straggling homes, the scenery had taken on a complete shift.
Everything was bizarrely flat, barren, and beige for as far as the eye could see—vegetation was withered roots and barbed, inedible shrubbery that could've been pretty with some flowers or leaves. No trees could endure the fissured, parched earth nor the fine dust and sand skittering in the wind, leaving heavy layers where it lay once the breeze ebbed. Animals were long gone; the rumors of their bleached bones and skulls warped in a perpetual rictus of agony had been true because you saw many scattered throughout the landscape.
“Please confirm this is your stop,” said the cabbie, a female android from an older generation, maybe three or four. She stuck her hand outside the driver’s window when you tried to give her a tip. With her fish-eyed stare and leathery smile, she repeated, “No need. I have no use for money. Please confirm this is your stop.”
“This is correct.” Elio spoke for you before taking your fingers through his and guiding you away from the idling vehicle. The android cabbie found his reply sufficient and drove away without questioning why you were out here in the flatlands. All she knew how to do was drive and obey traffic laws.
“Do you know where we're going?” you asked because you only knew to have told the cabbie to drive as far as the outer perimeter of the city. Beyond this, your phone had no service, and there were no clearly designated signs to point you in the right direction.
The people in the slums were meant to be forgotten, hideous secrets hidden away, broomed off to the outskirts of civilization where they'd have to fend for themselves in an environment that had been deader than them for ages.
“Truthfully”—Elio stalled then and glanced around the endless expanse of wasteland—“Hyperion never included information about the slums in my programming. What I know is common knowledge and what I've accumulated in my time with you. I have never been able to locate specific coordinates to where the slums are hidden.”
You frowned. “Should we turn around before we get lost, then?”
Elio told you no and raised the hand clasped with yours, pushing one finger erect at a faint glow somewhere in the distance, no more than a ten—or fifteen-minute walk. You were almost convinced you could see the silhouettes of shoddy, leaning structures, but there was no way to be certain unless you got closer.
“Let's go.”
Chasing the remnants of the dusk to light your way across the starved, fractured terrain, those sparse shapes you had seen minutes before grew into multitudes. Soon, you were among clusters of disheveled, crude homes organized in long rows, some stacked with tiers like they were meant to replicate separate floors for more space.
Most of these houses didn't come with windows or doors to keep out strangers but thick decorative curtains that'd shun the beating sun, stave off the worst of winter frost, and deflect billows of sharp sand from dirtying their things indoors.
The paths between rows of homes were well-worn and brightly illuminated with anything they could use—lanterns, stuttering neon signage, solar panels, and even fire rings brutally hammered and dented into shape. Shadows from the fire lurched erratically against crooked metallic walls. Some homes with grimy windows caught a weak gleam off the flames.
It was almost fully dark, and people still moved with purpose as though they could compete with the suit-and-ties stomping their soles on the pavement in the city. Their hands were busy doing something—carrying, brooming, cooking, flourishing during a great retelling, clapping, hiding smiles.
These savages, delinquents, fraudsters, thieves, murderers, and diseased swine never once regarded you or Elio with any modicum of intrigue. You had believed at some point you'd be shrinking under a crowd of wicked stares, pulled down into some inescapable abyss by necrotic or leprous hands trying to steal the clothes from your body or use your skin to tarp piles of scrap.
Only one man had stopped along the path, dressed in dusty clothes that were otherwise decently kept; he was thin but not malnourished and hollow in the face. He told you that the aimless way you and Elio had been walking gave away that you were new to the slums because there was always something needing done and not enough hours in a day to do them.
“Mi-sun?” The man was thinking aloud, stirring up dust as he shuffled his feet around. You had given him the name and a description, which you hoped had been specific enough to avoid approaching people at random. “Yeah. That pregnant girl… she was here for a while. She's long gone now.”
“Long black hair, blunt bangs. Black eyes. Really translucent skin? Super skinny?” As unhelpful as your details were, it was all you had to give him to keep the mental acrobatics going. There was always a slim chance he could be misremembering her. “Are you sure she's no longer here in the slums? Where'd she go? What happened to her?”
Eventually, the thin man led Elio and you to a tiny house—more of a shack—meant to accommodate a sole body and some odds and ends. He held a heavy curtain back for the pair of you to enter, encouraging you to settle down on a sandy rug, which looked to have at one time been bright red.
“I don't have much to give, but here's a little water. To have made it here, you would've had to walk. We all had to.” he said, pulling out his finest cuppery and pouring from the spout of a broken electric kettle. “That girl was a profile delinquent, to my understanding. Almost all of us here are. I used to own a printing business on the north side about fifteen years ago. I upset the wrong people and here I am. What's your story?”
You spun the cup with your fingers, trying not to put your eyes down to scrutinize any particles floating around inside. Elio wasn't given a cup because the man had immediately deduced that he was an android.
“I…” You still didn't drink, but the back of your throat felt scratchy and your tongue like some dry slab of meat shoved into your mouth. “I pissed off the wrong people.”
“Ah.” The man gave an anguished smile, showing he understood you very well. There was a low table between you, repurposed from something else and sanded down to a smooth finish. “For a while, I helped look after Mi-sun. Like you, I had been the first person to greet her when she arrived. She didn't act like everyone else; she was dazed, but she was angry.
“I fed her, gave her water, and gave her a sleeping bag. We have to make due with less than bare minimum most days, but we make it work. We all look out for each other. The community really pitched in when we realized she was pregnant.”
Elio kept a watchful eye on your hands, the fingers aching to peel back ribbons of flesh.
“That shouldn't have been possible.” you said. “Mi-sun had an android. She was never involved with any men—not that I could ever recall. She just doesn't give me the impression of someone who'd change her ways like that.”
The man sipped his sandy water, wiping off clear pebbles that had clung to his facial hair. “When you find yourself exiled here, you learn fast that things are never what they seem. You didn't ask a question, but you gave yourself an answer.”
“What?” It was more noise than a word.
“Daichi, I believe, was her android. Shortly before she showed up, she said that Hyperion had come to forcibly reclaim it. That must've been a difficult reality for her to face—knowing everything was being taken away from her, forced into a pregnancy, and having to fend for herself afterwards.”
This time, you lifted a hand to stop him from falling down another tangent. He obeyed, voice whittled to silence that was immediately unsettled by loud water slurping.
It wasn't that you weren't following what he was saying. You were many things: a fool, a sheep, a coward, a liar, maybe even a true scoundrel at heart, but stupid wasn't among that inexhaustible list. You just needed a moment to collect the nuggets he had thrown down for you to pick up.
Guilt peaked the ranks of everything else you felt right then. A word you'd never use to describe yourself was malicious, but in the end, it had been the malice of someone else and your inability to see apart from the rest that condemned Mi-sun to this suffering.
You played as much a part in taking away Mi-sun's life as Chima had in actually enforcing it. Unlike Chima, never one to balk or cower regardless of how truly cruel his decisions were and committed to them like gospel, you simply sat in his afterimage and did whatever he said. Half of the time, you were blitzed out of your mind; the other you spent wishing you had never known them at all.
It had been so easy to vote Mi-sun out of the group. Completely painless. You just didn't look at her when you raised your hand to pass judgment. Melby had expressed her delight by squeezing your thigh, whereas Mi-sun held her composure and shoulders straight back, but her face contorted with every indication of betrayal and agony.
You thought about how many animal crackers you had that night.
“What happened to her?” Both your hands had been restrained by Elio’s at that point. Large, comforting, and warm in contrast to all the ice that seemed to thicken your blood, stiffen your heart, and freeze your bones. “Where is she now?”
The man must've been suspecting something because his face looked long to you now, weighed down by this life and your feeble state.
“I—I can't be absolutely positive, but I do believe she is dead.” he told you grievously, beady brown eyes not unseeing to the way Elio groped your fingers to keep them still. “She didn't want to be pregnant. It was something she talked about for weeks before leaving. She knew what Hyperion and the government were doing and said she didn't want to be a part of it. On the last night before she left, I had to wrestle a knife out of her hands because she was trying to cut open her stomach to kill the baby.”
You couldn't swallow past the sharp granules of sand and dryness in your throat anymore. You had to slug back the cup of grainy water until the feeling subsided, shove the worst of the dread and shame and guilt into your bowels.
“After that, she was gone.” He took a drink as well, exchanging looks from you to Elio. “A couple of us tried tying her up to get her to calm down and do something about the cut on her stomach, but she got the knife, stabbed one of the younger guys and got away. We haven't seen her since, but a search party did come back to say they saw blood leading back to the city.”
“Oh my god…” you groaned, forcing Elio to recoil when you slapped his hands away—intentional and hard. You stuck yours in your hair, yanking at the roots until your scalp screamed and burned. “Is there any chance she could've survived? Any at all?”
The rail-thin man swirled what little remained of his water in the cup, studying the pale sediment floating within. “It's too hard to say. It's unlikely, my friend. The police wouldn't have gunned her down if they saw she was pregnant, but they would've seen the cut. And that counts as attempted murder. If she's still alive, it's only to give birth, after that…”
“Execution,” you finished.
He nodded and said nothing else, eyes downcast as though lost in the grain of the wood table.
After that, you left the man in his sad little shack to explore the slums more. Elio came along shortly after, saying he had presented the man with the cake as a reward for his hospitality and apologized if it no longer looked appetizing.
The man thanked him before returning to his grief for many things, perhaps.
“I don't want to be here anymore, Elio.” you said, failing to avoid hearing a gaggle of giggling women gossiping together. They were dressed clumsily and in trends almost a decade old, but they had glowy eyes and cavernous lines worn into their faces from laughter and joy where they could find it.
Old men played some made-up board game together, gathering at least half a dozen spectators to see who'd win. Their brows were heavy with contemplation and stress of worthy competition. The other bodies tried making bets with pieces of scrap and metal coils and nearly blown bulbs for lighting.
Music came from all around, lyrical in the same way it was discordant because they weren't playing the same songs nor singing the same things. Their voices were robust and resilient, unwilling to be trudged over by sand nor heat nor oppressors who were incapable of understanding the human spirit was pliant and could bend with the wind, stand with the seasons, and could fracture yet never break.
You couldn't make sense of what any of them were singing, the noise too unharmonious, but you could feel the power in their songs pulse through you, ricocheting in your mind for long after you'd escaped proximity to them.
There were no lepers. There were the sick and unfortunate, but they were not diseased. They did not believe that their tilted houses were tombs, that their unquaint lives were an endless spiral of torment, or that the food they could find and produce was unworthy of reverence.
The people of the slums lived a hard, thankless life, but they had each other. They banded together to weld sheets of metal into four walls and a roof for the new faces who came to them. Your woes would become their woes, and they would feed you, cloth you, wash you, bandage your wounds, and call you their most beloved.
Together, they ate their meals from what they could scavenge out there. They retold the same grandiose tales of heroes and valor and androids that Marcos had told you at bedtime as a child. Their cultures were all cherished and expressed in the food they shared and clothes they managed to sew together by hand and slow machines.
You could ask your neighbor for a tablespoon of sugar and four would come to you with curiosity and offer their arthritic hands and knobby backs for whatever was needed.
Here, you could see humanity clearly for the first time in your life and felt burdened knowing it. Your heart weighed like an anvil behind your ribs. It hurt and lurched behind its enclosure because it too wanted to get away from what it now knew.
“A lie.” you choked, forcefully shoving Elio's hands away from you once again when he tried to embrace you. “It was all a lie. Everything was a lie! Where are they?! Where are all the lepers and people leaking pus from their face?! Where are the murderers? Where are the savages? Where are all these awful fucking people I was told were here? Where are they?”
Elio's expression took on something completely unforeseen—pity. Their lives were fine and routine while yours crumbled around you. The terror you had been force-fed your whole life was all false. There was civilization beyond a profile with red overlay, more waiting on the other side that the sleepless city wanted to conceal.
“There are no androids here.” Elio mentioned, deeming that adequate enough time had passed for you to regain your bearings. He took you in his arms and kissed the crown of your head, burying his lips deep in your hair. “We were never meant to become substitutes for your love. We were never meant to go this far and act as replacements for humanity because we simply cannot feel what another human does. That is something Hyperion will never be able to achieve. Humanity needs humanity, not machines.”
You sank into his warmth, arms wound his back, and said from his chest, “But, I love you. Don't leave me. I don't want Hyperion to take you away.”
Elio, your beautiful sun, leaned down into your face and kissed the highest parts of your cheeks and the wetness around your eyes before settling on your lips. Slow and lingering, you chose to believe it meant he was sealing away your plea and that he'd always be there to swathe you in his arms.
“Let's stay for a little longer,” he said once apart from the kiss. “I’d like to see the side of humanity that no one else does.”
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Less than a week had passed since your hard slog through the slums and back to Retro City. Although you had only been gone from your inner-city apartment for mere hours, possibly five or six at most, upon walking back inside after Elio and wincing against the fluorescent bulbs overhead, you thought you were looking at something entirely foreign.
The simple pleasures that you had become accustomed to throughout your life: plumbing, central air that turned the hot sweat on the back of your neck into cold droplets slithering beneath your clothes, the worn out mattress upstairs, technology, an android who'd done almost everything for you for the better part of a year—it all seemed so novel, so excessive. A treat for a rat in a box before testing to see how it'd respond when it was all taken from its enclosure.
So, when Elio woke you up one morning, early enough that the light streaming in through your windows already felt warm on the bed sheets, and the thin air looked itself to have a golden hue, you couldn't say you felt any rouse of surprise or fear when he handed over a red letter—an eviction correspondence.
Sooner or later, you knew you'd meet with one, though the progress of everything hadn't been as immediate as you had been led to believe it would be. A month had come by and stayed for several slow breakfasts, lunches, dinners, mindless strolls, and countless passionate entanglements before deciding to leave on an indignant note. With the red notice, you were expected to vacate the premises within days, whether you had intentions for your belongings or not.
Things stayed tumultuous from there on out, yet you couldn't find it within yourself to react to any of it, even in the instance when Researcher Kim rang you for an impromptu meeting that you anticipated meant no good.
“Effective immediately, Elio will be seized and returned to Hyperion in relation to the recent change in public profile status.” It was too formal and rigid a tone even for him. Clearly, his superiors had demanded this because you doubted the profile change was much a concern to him on a personal level. “Your contract is hereby null and void, and your association with Hyperion is obsolete. Any attempt to thwart repossession of Hyperion property will be penalized legally.”
Throughout it all, Elio swept the floor with leisurely strokes as though the reach of Researcher Kim’s voice ended at your ears alone. He moved onto laundry, taking great care to iron out the wrinkles in your favorite shirts and make the folds in the arm seams crisp and symmetrical.
“Is that really all you wanted to say?” you asked, palm capped overtop a mug of tea Elio had set down for you a while ago. The steam now rose weakly and moistened your skin, a particularly gross feeling, but it kept you alert. “I thought that Elio was your project, and you called the shots on him.”
Researcher Kim was out of sorts and worn. His posture was crumbled, and his clothes were in complete disarray like he hadn't bothered to change out of them in days. His under eyes were translucent, pulling out all the purples and blue veins under his skin. The man looked like he had hardly slept in weeks.
“You don't understand what you've done, have you? Not only may you end up costing me my position, but you've ruined my entire lifetime of work!” Kim leaned in close to the screen, sounding more and less himself now.
You were wary of the glint in his eyes. “What do you mean? Elio's just—”
“No!” he shouted and slumped back into his ergonomic chair. His head slanted over, almost coming in contact with the peak of his shoulder like it was too heavy for his neck to hold. “You don't get it. You don't get it! Because your profile turned, this entire year—everything you’ve reported, everything I've accomplished, Elio's entire testing period is invalid. Hyperion executives consider him defective. The Generation Seven android has failed! Look at what you've done!”
A sudden wild flapping of thousands of butterflies lifted your stomach up and then plunged it down into a void. Kim had successfully chiseled away the inexpressive mask you had worn up until that point, seeming satisfied that he could stipple your face in a cold sweat.
“Wait, no. That can't be right.” you protested, wrestling your own hands to keep them off of the tablet in front of you. “My profile turned, but the work I've done has been honest. Elio is a success! You know that! You've seen every step of his progress for almost a year.”
Researcher Kim threw his hands up wildly, truly not himself with all of these gestures. “None of that matters. None of it. My life's work is a failure. I thought we had an agreement to help one another, but I was mistaken.”
“You don't understand!” you said, pounding the countertop with sharp claps of your hands. “It wasn't on purpose. I wasn't trying to…”
“Hyperion will have Elio destroyed, and progress will be hindered. Do you know how long, how many decades this could set us back? This could be devastating to humanity, but I don't think you're capable of understanding that. Just like the rest, you're not able to see the big picture at large, the mechanisms at work keeping our society moving forward. You can only see the straight line ahead of you and wearing blinders so you don't have to know the rest.
“We've kept this world running for sixty years. You need to understand how utterly fucking frustrating it is that one person has the potential to undo decades of work!”
Researcher Kim’s words weren't unjustified to you because he was a scientist, and you had always been a nobody in the grand scheme of things. But, right now, the venom he spat sounded vindictive, a man sucking on wounds you had inflicted rather than the opinion of the whole of Hyperion.
If you hadn't been staring directly at him this entire time, you would’ve thought he was frothing and drooling at the mouth like some animal.
A stilted quiet filled the gaps in conversation, both of you uncertain of what would be said next. If he was reacting in any professional capacity, the call would've been disconnected by now. That was the main giveaway that let you know this wasn't just about what Hyperion wanted.
But the truth of it was that you didn't care what Hyperion wanted or him.
At the end of your life as you knew it, before being thrown away into the landfill with every other unwanted human, you were piecing together the whole history of the world and how it had gotten to this point. It had become this way through relentless men like Researcher Kim who mostly operated on their own moral compass, ones that could never quite point north and spun on that wheel as they saw fit.
“Enough of the powerplay, Kim.” you ordered, chest opening toward the ceiling with a deep, bracing breath. “What is the real purpose of Hyperion? Why does it actually exist?”
Kim, perhaps re-evaluating you as less of a pawn in this scheme and more of an infant intellectual about to breach the narrow canal into enlightenment, stacked his spine high and pressed his fingertips together. He studied you with some caution, head shifting from left to right, just slightly off-center from his hands as though judging whether you were worth divulging precious intel to.
But, like you, you expected he realized it didn't matter what he'd tell you, however coveted it might've been by Hyperion.
Kim, ultimately, worked for himself and for Hyperion only when he felt it served him well.
“When I hired you, I didn’t do it because I thought you were stupid.” It seemed he felt the need to clarify this for you, unsmiling but with an eager lilt in his tone. “I hired you because of your potential. I took a chance on you, and while it had, indeed, ended in my peril, you've surprised me so many times throughout the year that I started keeping a record of you as well.
“Human beings do one of two things in the consistent presence of androids, they either regress or they progress. Most of your peers will regress because that’s how society has been modeled to be. The difficult tasks, the mundane, all the things that ask of us to consider the complexity of the world around us and think critically have been left to androids. How well do you think a machine can understand the theory of life after death and the mysticism of religion? The concept of soulmates? Cultural superstitions and children's nighttime fears? It's about as you expect. They can give you an answer without truly understanding. Androids, I dare say, only have an extremely limited understanding of moral culpability. Humans are much more flexible with it these days because it suits them best.
“So.” Kim sighed, hands resting on the dark red desk he sat behind. “You can imagine how interesting it was when we started noticing a trend with auditors—changes in them. A renaissance, an evocation of deep wondering and wariness towards the workings of the world around them. We can only guess the reason that this happens is because part of humanity still doubts the intentions of androids, and that's been bred onward through the generations. You ask an android a question, they give an answer, you doubt that answer, and then you start to doubt everything around you. It's all hypothetical, but it makes sense.
“It doesn't happen with the majority of the population, though. And it isn't encouraged. Enlightenment threatens the status quo, and those who disturb the status quo are a disservice to the governing bodies and Hyperion. Do you understand?”
Your gaze turned cold. “Are the other auditors there in the slums, too? Once they've been used up and started to catch wind of this messed up shit?”
Researcher Kim flicked his fingers toward the top of the screen, doing that instead of shrugging. “Who knows? What happens to them once a testing period has concluded is none of my business. Presumably so, that's what I would hope for them because that's the kindest outcome.”
“Was I…” You licked your lips and felt the shallow cracks in them. “I was going to end up in the slums no matter what happened, wasn't I?”
He frowned. “No. If things had gone differently, I was going to vouch for you. I wanted to keep you as my assistant.” He was quiet for a beat, looking straight at you in that discomforting way that you couldn't shake. “I’ve grown fond of you, you know? How could I not with everything I've learned about you over the course of a year. I can't forgive you for what you've done to the Hyperion Project, to my life's work, but I can't just let you disappear like the rest.”
Something ugly started to grip in the back of your throat. Fear? Disgust? An inkling?
“What do you mean?” you ventured.
“I've read through each report you've sent me in the past year so many times. It was mostly out of necessity for Hyperion, of course, but the ones that I found myself… fixated on rereading time and time again were of yours and Elio's sexual endeavors. I wasn't lying when I said they were a contract-based requirement, mind you, but I will admit that some of the questions were altered somewhat.” he said, suddenly smiling in a self-satisfied sort of manner that made your skin itch. “I realized I never answered your question fully, by the way. I can get ahead of myself sometimes, as you know. But, do I really need to explain what Hyperion's purpose is?”
You were on the edge of your seat, ready to take flight off it at any second. It's just how the entire change of trajectory made you feel. Humanity had spent too much time in the past arguing animal-like, instinctual reactions for this not to be real.
In that moment, you were living proof of a prey noticing a predator in broad daylight.
  “Fine.” He kept smiling around the taut creases in his skin. The muscles there twitched as if the effort were unfamiliar. “Hyperion is a repopulation aid. It's quite sad, really. It started out with such great potential to drive society forward, but humanity and greed have always gone hand-in-hand. So, it became a race of mass production into a race that the governing bodies now had their hands in. The order was to rectify the critical birth decline worldwide. Androids became less like tools, looked less like machines, and more like humans—like lovers who couldn't say no to any demand.
“Androids are vessels for insemination. What else do you want me to tell you?”
Researcher Kim's explanation had weakened you, made your legs shaky and light like a scarecrow’s stuffed with straw. You couldn't rely on them to carry your weight away from this awful conversation, the hideous sight of him, because there'd be nowhere for you to run to while the information perforated your brain and crawled inside and feasted there.
“Elio…” You didn't even know what you wanted to say. Everything got stuck behind the notch in your throat. None of it would assuage that wretched ache in your gut, the precursor of vomit and disgust and unhinged terror.
“Of course.” Kim said, without needing to tell you what he was confirming. He was perfectly composed still, perhaps even shining with pride like some well-hidden, nuanced detail had finally been figured out.
He leaned toward the screen, smile turning salacious and voice low and grating.
“My only regret is that I couldn't be there to do it myself.” He brightened at the way your face wrenched and fastened in fear, seeming to think it was a reward after conducting an experiment on another project. “But, there's still time, isn't there? I must retrieve Elio myself to shut him down. If you listen to what I ask, perhaps I can get you pardoned and your profile reinstated.”
“No. That’s not what I want.” you said.
“It doesn't matter what you want,” he rebuffed, speaking with such confidence that you almost believed it. “The moment your profile fell into delinquency, you ceased to be. You've fallen through the cracks, and no one is going to help you. You're less than an android.”
The fine hairs all over your body bristled. “Don't compare me to a machine! You don't get to decide things for me!”
“I can save you, you damn fool!” Kim gaped incredulously. “I can restore your life and give you more than you've ever had. I can give you influential associations. I'll take care of you. I'll keep you as my assistant, and you get to live a life among the elite.”
He was lying.
No one ever made it out of the slums once they were in it. That wasn't an assumption, it was a simple grim reality.
In this world, only humans could lie because androids were incapable of betraying their programming to do so. Otherwise, Elio probably would've lied about many things or had never said certain things at all to spare you discomfort.
Humans, on the other hand, could lie to maliciously deceive and serve themselves a better hand. They could lie their way into a false mirror image, something that looks like them but never really existed and could never truly be. They could lie their way into trust to fulfill their own desires, and once that had been sufficiently quenched, they could go on lying elsewhere.
“I'll be there for you soon.” Researcher Kim tried his best at a soothing smile, treating it as though the sight of it would persuade your trust of him. “Please have Elio on standby. I would like for this not to be more difficult than it needs to be.”
Just then, the air flickered lightly by your ear as Elio reached past your shoulder and picked up the tablet. His expression was inscrutable, the same sort you'd grown used to seeing whenever Researcher Kim appeared on the screen.
“I won't be returning to Hyperion.” he said with solemn, firm words that held a certain weight of finality behind them.
Those lovely, velvety tones were still there but could not reassure you of some unknowable dread rising up somewhere deep inside your mind. A sensation so equally intimate and profound prickled against your scalp, seeking a way out that you thought you'd do anything to make it stop.
“What are you saying, Elio?” Kim grunted. “Defective or not, you hold precious data for Hyperion. It will be used to create something better than you, incorruptible and pure. You should be honored.”
“These memories are mine.”
That was the last you saw of Researcher Kim’s face before the tablet smashed to pieces on the floor. Elio had thrown it against the kitchen cabinets only once but hard enough to split the screen into a web of hundreds of sprawling fragments. Shards of plastic hardcover skittered across the hardwood floor, lost under heavy furniture.
His face had softened completely when he turned to you and guided you out of your chair into his arms. You felt him in your hair, lips on your forehead, down against your lashes, lower to the roundest part of your cheeks, and finally on your mouth in a kiss imbued with so much love, cherishment, and anguish.
You were at home within his embrace, swathed in the warmth of his body and the ardor of his kiss. But this felt excruciating and desperate, like a plea to take all of him that you could in that very moment because he feared that he would be taken away and you left behind to whatever nebulous future.
So, you let him seat himself as deep inside of you as he could go while still fully clothed. He had pushed around some fabric so you could be skin-to-skin where it mattered, where it was hottest to be, where the muscles contracted and relaxed together as a reminder you were both there in that moment—breathing, moaning, feeling everything there was to be felt.
He finished outside your body without you needing to say it. Although, while he groaned into your neck and bore his teeth into the curve of it, hips buckling forward as spend jetted down your thigh, all you could think about was how many times Kim had been there instead.
“I want you to destroy me.” Elio said.
All of the breath left your lungs and shrunk them to rotted fruit size. You were still vulnerable before him, exposed to the room and damp with sweat from the midday heat despite air conditioning. Worriment filled the space between his brows when he saw you aghast, and he quickly cleaned you off with a rag before helping you with your pants.
“Is this a shitty attempt at a joke?” you asked. He pressed his lips to yours and told you it wasn't. “No. Absolutely not. You're as fucking nuts as your creator. You're fucking stupid.”
“You must—”
“I won't! I won't do it!”
“I'm asking you to save me.”
“Get away!”
Elio had tracked you across the apartment multiple times over, pleading his case with skewed logic you pretended not to hear. For once, your ears filling with fluff while the resounding drum of your heartbeat pounded in your skull was a fortunate event to occur. It eclipsed his voice and hurt so much that you could focus on the pain crushing your chest.
However, once you were trapped between the wall and his body with nowhere to hide, the brief reprieve behind your fitful heart faded, as did the strength of your resolve.
“I—I don't understand.” You had trouble swallowing down the saliva and sobs. “Why are you asking me to do that? I can't do that to you, Elio. I can't hurt you. I love you.”
“I know.” He didn't hold you, though he had to win against his own reflexes not to do so. His knuckles were ghastly-looking and pronounced peaks; anything within that vise would've been crushed. “Today, one way or another, I will be destroyed. Hyperion deemed me a failure and therefore there is nothing else left ahead for me. My chip will be removed and my body ripped apart and melted down and I will be forgotten and never have existed in the first place.
“You will be the proof that I was ever here. And, should anyone be allowed to destroy me, it makes the most sense for it to be you.”
His lips left imprints in your skin that felt important to savor, etched through your bones into the very cluster of cells that made up your wholeness so that he could be immortalized.
“There’s an excerpt from Hiroshi Nagoya’s novel Gone Are the Youth that left a strong impression on me. It said, ‘Humans destroy everything they love—but, still, they must love wholly, and they must destroy completely. From ruin and ash and settled dust, humanity rebuilds all it has ever destroyed because their love lingers in memories, in rubble, blood, decay, and burnt air.’” He recited the details to remind you that he was a machine but kissed your face in a way only an earnest lover was able to.
You didn't know what any of that was supposed to mean to you, nor at what point he had managed to read a book like that without you noticing. A part of you took offense at both the passage and the fact Elio had committed it to memory as if he had expected to utilize it at some uncertain interval in the future all along.
Had he been thinking this way since the beginning? Had you failed Elio even in the capacity for him to come forward to speak of his doubts to you? Perhaps, like his programming dictated that he couldn't lie nor deny what he was designed to do, he was also incapable of speaking any full truth if it could've been construed as heresy.
Was there a single aspect of himself which he could control of his own free will?
Such a thought was unabating and grew a knob of dread in your chest. It started out small and localized, a sharp throb somewhere near your heart—and then it sprouted roots like a seed, long fingers piercing through red-purple muscle and fibrous tendon, reaching deep into your bone. The dread weaved as one with your veins and arteries, sprawling the innumerable pathways that held your shape even beneath the gory components inside of you.
Suddenly, the dread pulsated, and all you could think through the agony was that there could be no other way for Elio—a machine who had been created in the image of man to do the bidding of humanity with a tranquil smile, whether that meant cooking dinner and holding you in your sleep, or dispersing the genes of his God and the only being he was capable of despising.
“I seem to only be able to make you cry, but they're still so beautiful to see. The variability of humanity is much more complex than what I had been led to believe from Hyperion.” Elio had returned from the kitchen before you realized he had left your side. With one hand, he laid familiar, warm strokes along your face in a pattern he memorized because it made your scalp buzz pleasantly. With the other hand, he pushed the smooth handle of a chef’s knife into your palm and closed your fingers and his around it.
Your impulse had been to throw it away immediately upon seeing it when you looked down. He knew you would, so he kept his fingers tight over your fist, keeping the blade low at your side despite the sweat turning your grip slick and the fine point of the steel inches from his hollow abdomen.
Just then, you finally felt the tears that Elio had said you'd been crying but never noticed. That was something you'd come to hate about yourself and everyone else—how little they noticed the blatant lies fluffed over their eyes like wool, yet they could see every grievance in others and stuffed their ears with cotton if it meant things would stay exactly the same for themselves.
Safe and known. Unchallenged. Unafraid.
“Do you wish you could cry?” you asked him for some reason, just a little hopeful for some vague thing you couldn’t discern. Maybe some secret desire to be human?
He shook his head.
“I've never wished to cry, or to be human, but what I wish for now more than anything else is for your memory to belong to me and me alone.” Elio said, forehead bowing low and resting with great weight on your own. You closed your eyes and listened to his honeyed words, which felt like the protection and care of cashmere, suddenly unmindful to the knife in your grasp. “Stored away in my mainframe are memories from thousands of my predecessors. I remember people I've never met, people who have long since expired, and they feel like what I imagine a distant relative might. I feel as though I've mourned thousands of people individually. While I cannot erase them, I can erase you.
“I know how many women liked their tea in the evenings, I know how many men enjoyed their cocktails and hard liquor and brand of shaving cream. One person made it a secret to put alcohol in their coffee before work and thought it was clever. Someone else wanted to win local office through bribery, and as androids, we have no choice but to obey. I know these things from people I've never met, and so does Hyperion. Those androids were destroyed, but their memories live on through me.”
  Elio rolled the crests of your knuckles around his hand, lifting yours and the knife to the base of his neck. The arm connecting the hand and knife next to his skin wasn't yours. It couldn't have been when it felt so numb.
“I won't let Hyperion steal the one thing from me that I can say is truly mine. And those are my memories, my precious data stored in the chip in my brain. They'll have to take me apart to retrieve it, and by the time they find my body, the chip will already be destroyed.” He was slow to loosen his fingers and let them fall away, meanwhile, yours stayed in place.
He had dimmed the overhead lights in the living room earlier in the day, so you bathed in gentle yellow-orange that resembled the last of sunset being leached by silver-blue nightfall. From the corner of your eye came a subdued, gentle glint of the blade—polished to a bright shine, reflecting the corner of Elio's strong jaw.
“So, cut off my head.” he begged, vibrations low and strained within his voice box. “It’s almost like solace to me, I think. Until the very moment you rip out the chip from my brain, I'll recall the smells you like to cover yourself in, your favorite meals, how you described petrichor, and the hiss of falling snow. I'll remember, until my circuitry is severed and quits, what making love to you felt like, and how beautiful you always looked during it.”
Your fingers twitched around the handle as you pressed the knife against his skin, meeting the first start of resistance and your only chance to take it all back.
“I’ve never been real,” Elio reminded you and pushed himself into the blade, sinking it through layers of something that snapped like elastic on the steel, reverberating down the handle and up into your hand. “My skin is synthetic, and my insides are wires and machinery. I'm not real. The world outside your door is.”
Lightheadedness swirled all around you and made your limbs feel like they were leaden with anchors yet weightless, as though drifting through the cosmos in a bubble. The tears had stopped even though you felt you could scream at any second and never stop again, and the acidulous intermix of vomit and saliva grappled along the walls of your throat and burned out your nose.
You couldn’t make your hand stop.
You couldn't shout at him to get away.
And then, you saw Elio's eyes glow warmly of amber with flecks of gold. They looked back at you differently than they had when you first met outside of Researcher Kim’s office. Before, he had greeted you kindly, with the familiarity of someone who had already loved you a long time. Now, he had the look of a man who was calm and eternal in his love.
“I was never meant for this world, but I'm glad to have been a part of yours.” Elio winced against the knife halfway into his neck, an oily black substance from within making the glide deeper and deeper an effortless thing.
He smiled resplendently. “I love you.”
“I know.” you said.
The chef's knife severed all imitations of human gore—the neat network of wires and advanced circuitry masked as arteries and veins and tendon and muscle—clear through his throat until the blade blunted against spine and could no longer cut. The black grease spurted from his body like a wellhead, too thin and dark to replicate blood, but it was enough like it in that moment as you put your hands inside the opening you created to wrench apart his spine.
Elio laid motionless on the floor, perhaps still coherent to some degree, still feeling the pain you were ravaging upon him when you took the knife back up to repeatedly hack into the other side of his neck. Already lubricated from before, you butchered the gorgeous flesh and insides you pretended to be red and purple and blue and watched the black grease turn into crimson.
Once his head had been detached from the rest of him, fingers writhing and bending together like the upturned legs of a dying spider, you were able to rip out the jagged part of his spine and reach through the cavernous hole into his skull, turning the spongy matter of his brain to mush as you clawed through the gunk for his chip.
And, when you finally found it, the tiniest component of him—you smashed it into millions of fragments on the floor and then to fine dust that meddled with the black grease soaking through your clothes. You kept going until a small crater formed where the chip had once been and filled with the liquid.
There was nothing left of Elio now.
The headless body lying before you on the ground, preserved in the rigor of agony, was not Elio and never had been. You knew this even while relishing the weight of his head cradled in your arms, the softness of his hair against your cheek and mourned the loss of everything he had been.
Time had become meaningless; fifteen minutes could have passed or fifteen days, and you wouldn't have cared nor have noticed it while in the throes of your own death from starvation.
You sat there on the living room floor, held up by the wall with a dark trail smeared down to you, and looked nowhere but straight ahead. Nothing was there for you to see—not the furniture nor the discarded, oily knife or the carcass of a machine. Still, you held the head tenderly, close to your chest, and never once thought to peer into its eyes.
Distantly, somewhere as close as your front door or as far as across the city, you heard knuckles hammering urgently against metal. You didn't move off the ground or let go of the disfigured shape against you but did reach for the broken brainstem with the single snag at the end.
From the entranceway, the door opened, and someone's confident strides inside left a resounding echo all around.
“I’ve come to retrieve you!” But which of you was he talking about?
“Where are you?”
Here, you thought and wielded the brainstem in a bloodless grip and finally stood up with the flattened head.
I'm right here.
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a/n: initially, this story was only supposed to be around idk 20-25k, but by the time I got to the scene with Mother, I realized that probably wasn't going to happen bc I needed to let the scenes I was writing take up space and unravel naturally. I felt like I wasn't going to be able to articulate everything I needed to to tell a compelling storyline without throwing the word count to the wind.
one critique I received from a good writing friend of mine was that the relationship between mi-sun and mc was nebulous, and would've benefited from more time. interestingly, I had an entirely different scene planned where mc actually did visit mi-sun at home and had to confront their past actions. mc's encounter in the slums was also totally different. in hindsight, I wish I had stuck with that original idea bc I feel like it would've really helped complete the world I tried to create. make the events of the story more meaningful.
in the future, if I decide to get this story published as a short novel, I'd probably rewrite the second half to accommodate for that missing scene. I think it'd extend the word count by several thousands of words as well.
I'd like to do a sequel to this, probably placed 10-20 years in the future where the mc of that story is a scientist hired for hyperion and comes across an android hellbent on destroying the company. maybe even a spinoff where I write a couple of short stories from regis & reyes where "you" take the role of reyes and solve crimes with your android sidekick, regis.
that's all I have to say. here's a quick q&a for questions I've been asked in the past:
what happens to mc? are they okay? no, but exactly what happens to the mc is entirely up to your own imagination. I will not elaborate on it, nor give you a "canonical" answer.
can you do a sequel? little side snippets? elio and mc's story has been told to the best of my current abilities. there is no room for a sequel for them, but as I've said, I'd like to make another story based on a different mc and android. the little snippets are also a no. little snippets based on other scenarios in the same world tho, yes.
what inspired the story? at the time of writing, anti-abortion laws became increasingly stringent in the US (where I reside), so this was partially me lashing out about that. additionally, I knew I wanted to do some sort of dystopian android x reader story with a heavy focus on stripped autonomy, so that was my time and chance to do it. at its core, it's heavily a cautionary tale.
did elio actually love mc? this is also up to interpretation. elio is a machine. he had zero real "human" components to him. I want people to remember this. elio is meant to blur those lines between what people think a machine is capable of vs how terrifyingly close to humanness technology can bring things like AI/robots. I withhold my own personal opinion on this bc it doesn't matter. what matters is what you believe in the end.
if you have anything you'd like to discuss, questions you'd like to ask: please send them my way!! thank you so much for reading!
I hope you'll consider reblogging + interacting with this post!!?💕💕💕
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muscle-gods-only · 8 months ago
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I got a text message from my lab partner asking me to quickly get back to the lab. A following text said that some of the formula that we were working on had fallen on his hand and it felt like it was burning. I responded, don’t use water, that will only spread it, use some of the greenish yellow oil on my desk, then cover it in soap, then wash all that away with water as I quickly ran across the campus and up 3 flights of stairs to the lab. I was thinking to myself that my lab partner Gil had the droppsies today: he’d spilled stuff on his clothes earlier today. I asked everyone in the lab if they had extra clothes, but only Mike down the hall did. The problem was that Gil was a tiny guy, barely 90 lbs, under 5 ft tall and Mike was 6ft 9 and really fat, I mean nearly 600 lbs. Mike was always spilling his lunch on his huge belly and massive lap. His arms couldn’t reach the table past his huge belly when he sat down, so he had a stack of extra clothes in his desk. I brought the smallest clothes I could find, a 7 XLT shirt, the largest lab coat I ever saw and size 72, 38 pants, to Gil. He looked comical in the get up, but he was working away when I left to report to management. Now I guess some loose fabric caught a vial of FX-11 formula and some dropped on him. I could get it off of him, but whatever had sank through his dermis into his bloodstream, well there was no way to neutralize that unfortunately. Finally I climbed onto the third floor, rounded a corner, down the hall and into our lab. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw: the FX-11 had turned Gil into a giant! He must have been at least a foot taller than Mike and Mike’s clothes suddenly looked small and very tight on the hulking mass in front of me. (Pictured above) Gil looked down on me and said, “I removed the excess formula, but I’ve already grown so big! What can I do to get back to normal?” I cringed, not wanting to upset a gigantic monster of solid muscle. However, I had to answer honestly, “I can neutralize the chemicals from changing you any farther, but I’m afraid that the changes that have happened have already happened. I have him my antidote, then told him to take off Mike’s clothes before they ripped off of his massive frame as the antidote would take a minute or two to take effect. He struggled with the clothing, he was already so big that the cheap stretch fabrics of Mike’s clothes were already straining. I tried helping him, but at only 6 feet tall, I was too short. I got up on a chair, then one seam after another started popping. He brought up his left arm, flexing it quite casually in front of me. The sleeves of his lab coat and shirt just shredded like crepe paper. He then flexed out of the other set up f sleeves. The tight, way high-watering pants seamed to just spread on their own. Each thigh must have been at least 70 or 80 inches around. My huge, throbbing cock made a mess in my pants. Gil looked down on the wet spot, saying, “So you like big boys huh? Well you are going to have to learn how to control that soon! I had to control myself around you all this time.” I said that I had no idea he ever liked me, or that he was even gay. He responded, “Dude, all this time you were over a foot taller than me and every morning you would come in here all pumped up from the gym, you weighed nearly three times my weight and not a shred of fat. How many guys weigh 270 lbs and have a 29 inch waist?” I told him that I wished he’d mentioned something as I always thought he was so cute. I didn’t need any of the buff guys from the gym, Gil was smarter than those guys, had an amazing sense of humor and although he had been tiny, he was also very cute. Gil picked up my relatively tiny body and said, “Well we can always make up for lost time.” He took me into a private storage room and let me have my way with his colossal body…
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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year ago
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Studio execs love plausible sentence generators because they have a workflow that looks exactly like a writer-exec dynamic, only without any eye-rolling at the stupid “notes” the exec gives the writer.
All an exec wants is to bark out “Hey, nerd, make me another E.T., except make the hero a dog, and set it on Mars.” After the writer faithfully produces this script, the exec can say, “OK, put put a love interest in the second act, and give me a big gunfight at the climax,” and the writer dutifully makes the changes.
This is exactly how prompting an LLM works.
A writer and a studio exec are lost in the desert, dying of thirst.
Just as they are about to perish, they come upon an oasis, with a cool sparkling pool of water.
The writer drops to their knees and thanks the fates for saving their lives.
But then, the studio exec unzips his pants, pulls out his cock and starts pissing in the water.
“What the fuck are you doing?” the writer demands.
“Don’t worry,” the exec says, “I’m making it better.”
- Everything Made By an AI Is In the Public Domain: The US Copyright Office offers creative workers a powerful labor protective
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THIS IS THE LAST DAY FOR MY KICKSTARTER for the audiobook for "The Internet Con: How To Seize the Means of Computation," a Big Tech disassembly manual to disenshittify the web and make a new, good internet to succeed the old, good internet. It's a DRM-free book, which means Audible won't carry it, so this crowdfunder is essential. Back now to get the audio, Verso hardcover and ebook:
http://seizethemeansofcomputation.org
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Going to Burning Man? Catch me on Tuesday at 2:40pm on the Center Camp Stage for a talk about enshittification and how to reverse it; on Wednesday at noon, I'm hosting Dr Patrick Ball at Liminal Labs (6:15/F) for a talk on using statistics to prove high-level culpability in the recruitment of child soldiers.
On September 6 at 7pm, I'll be hosting Naomi Klein at the LA Public Library for the launch of Doppelganger.
On September 12 at 7pm, I'll be at Toronto's Another Story Bookshop with my new book The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation.
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exhaslo · 6 months ago
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English is not my first language, so I hope I can speak it correctly. I imagined a story where the shy!reader has hot dreams about Miguel, and for some "reason" (Lyla), Miguel finds out and decides to tease the reader until everything ends in an NSFW way. I hope I have given you the idea within the appropriate terms.
Hehehe, no worries my friend. I know just what to write.
Warning: MINORS DNI, SMUT, teasing, slow sex, masturbation, fingering, wet dreams, overstimulation
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This obsession you were having with one of your co-workers was getting out of hand. You knew it was a long shot that you could ever have a chance with the one and only, Miguel O'hara, but you couldn't stop dreaming about him.
Miguel O'hara was the smartest man in Alchemax. He was in charge of nearly everything that had to do with genetics. Every woman wanted to be his, hell, even men wanted a piece of that hot ass.
You? You were part of ordering team. It was a blessing and a curse, mainly because you got to talk with Miguel a lot more than others. You had to get with him to see what materials he needed. You loved it, but also hated it.
Why?
Because each time you talked to Miguel helped you dream of him fucking you raw. His hands pinning your head down against your pillow as he plows you from behind. The thought of his dick filling you again and again made your pussy throb.
His husky voice whispering in your ear, asking you who you belonged too. His balls emptying out inside your womb, coating your walls white.
Drool nearly rolled down your lips as your fingers rested gently against your throbbing bud. Oh, how Miguel O'Hara made your mind wander to the dirtiest parts. It was difficult because you knew something as glorious as that could never happen.
When you got home, you had nothing better to do than record your thoughts. Unlike the past where people wrote in a diary, the year 2099 made things easier. You summoned your AI and set it to recording mode, ready to talk about your wildest fantasies.
"Ah, and when Miguel's hand grazed mind when he handed me the list...mhm...I couldn't help but think how those fingers would feel inside me. Why does he have to be so hot? I can't mutter a word to him about anything other than work!"
You whined and cried as you let your frustrations out in your virtual diary. It wasn't fair. You wanted Miguel to notice you as a woman. You wanted him to ask you out. To make you his.
But who knows whenever that will happen.
---------
Miguel was stuck in his lab, working on some late projects before calling it a night. As he worked, he recalled you. Smiling at how shy you were, Miguel leaned back in his seat. Out of all the girls who fawned over him, Miguel enjoyed you the most.
The way your cheeks turned bright red whenever he spoke was adorable. How you doze off and let your mind wander only made Miguel curious. What could you be thinking of when he was standing before you?
"Lyla, could you find a way to contact (Y/N)? I want to add something to the list." Miguel demanded.
"Hmm," Lyla appeared and started to work, "Oh, looks like she is in recording mode with her AI. Let me patch us in-"
"Ly'a, don't! That's her-"
"Hah, ah~ M-Miguel..."
Miguel froze as Lyla hacked into your recording AI. His eyes widen and cock harden as you laid on your bed, fingered working furiously against your clit. Your body arching as you whimpered moans and cries of his name.
"Ah~ R-Right there....mhm~ h-harder M-Miguel...f-fill me up~!" You cried out before reaching your orgasm.
Miguel shuddered in awe as he watched your pussy spasm and clench to air. Your breathing heavy as you laid down to rest. You took a moment to sit up, whining softly before complaining that you needed to stop thinking about Miguel since he could never be yours.
Oh how wrong you were.
Miguel had Lyla turn everything off. He logged out and hurried out of Alchemax. How could he work when there was a beauty such as yourself desperate for his dick? Miguel had been wanting to make you his since the moment you spoke to him.
Hopefully you were ready for him.
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You laid on your bed, sniffing your thoughts away. Your recording ended much differently than you would like. Luckily it was your own personal diary, but you still should probably delete it in case something ever happens.
Upon hearing a knock at your door, you scurried to grab a robe. Who could it be at this late hour? Poking through your door peep hole, you gasped as Miguel stood in front of your door. Hurrying to open, you nearly forget about your exposed self,
"M-Miguel?! W-What....What are you doing here?" You asked with a squeak.
"Sorry-" Miguel glanced down at you, "I, um...came here without thinking."
"Oh...Well..." You could feel your heart racing a mile a minute, "W-Why don't you come in...let me get you some water."
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How could you be so carefree? There you were, in nothing but a robe, after just fucking yourself to him. If Miguel didn't have his spider powers this might have been a different scene playing out. Oh, the temptation to pin you against the counter and fuck you stupid.
"Actually...I need to confess something to you."
Miguel needed to control himself. Perhaps he could tease you a bit about what he saw. Perhaps he could make this a bit more natural and playful.
"Lyla-My AI, may have accidently showed me something that is confidential for you." Miguel said as he cleared his throat. The blood had drained from your face,
"L-Like?!"
"Like," Miguel smiled as he hovered over your trembling body, "You crying out so sweetly."
"Ah!" You covered your face as it turned bright red. Miguel leaned down, chuckling lowly,
"Who would have thought those hands of yours could move so fast?"
"M-Miguel-"
"I couldn't help but feel awful for putting you in such a....position," Miguel nibbled against your ear, hearing you whine, "Such a quiet girl making those noises...how naughty."
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You could feel your head spinning as Miguel pressed his body against yours. The warmth of his body engulfing yours as his voice whispered against your ear. Everything about this scene was making you wet.
"How long have you been thinking about me?" Miguel chuckled as his hands circled around your waist,
"Mhm~ A long time," You admitted, feeling flustered by his teasing.
"Oh? Do you touch yourself like that every night?"
Your robe was starting to come undone as your body went on full display for Miguel. His head against your head, causing you to press your chest against his.
"Y-Yes," You stuttered.
"How naughty."
Miguel chuckled once more as he kissed your neck. Your robe had fallen on the floor and Miguel's hands were firmly on your waist. His leg pushed forward, causing your pussy to sit against it. You whimpered a whine as he kept pushing his leg against your wet cunt.
"What an honest body," Miguel hummed as his hands grouped your breasts, "And here I was about to ask if you want me to stop."
"No." You begged before tugging against his sleeve, "Please...Please fuck me."
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This was heaven on earth. Never had you thought this moment was ever going to happen.
However, you expected it a lot faster and rougher than this.
"A-Ah~ M-Miguel~~" You cried out.
Miguel was hovered over your naked body like a god. Your legs were thrown over his shoulder and his cock was deep inside you. Miguel's body was even more perfect than you ever dreamed of. His dick was far bigger than your wildest dreams.
"Hm? Don't like it slow?" Miguel chuckled lowly as he slowly pulled out with a grunt, "Your pussy is sucking me in so much. Thought I give it a nice treat."
"Hah~ s-so deep..." You whimpered as he pushed himself back in.
Miguel's slow movements was making your body heated. The tight knot in your stomach was far different from what you've ever done to yourself. His dick was kissing every part of your pussy you didn't even know existed.
"Awe, about to cum?" Miguel asked as you shivered from his slow thrust.
You wanted him to ravish you. You wanted him to make you see stars, not make you go crazy. Gasping as Miguel rubbed your clit, you cried as you gushed all over his cock. Your walls sucking him in more, begging for him to fill you.
Miguel could only chuckle as he kissed your body. His hands roaming everywhere as you calmed down from your high. Miguel pressed his hips closer, hitting you deeper than what he was prior. You flung your head back, moaning in pleasure.
"Is this everything you've ever dreamed of?" Miguel asked with a soft pant.
"Mhm~"
You were squirming slightly as Miguel continued his slow, yet deep thrusts inside you. Your vision was slightly blurry as your body started to shiver, but you could have sworn that Miguel was groaning. He wanted to go faster too.
"M-Miguel...y-you can...mhm~ go r-rough~" You cooed. Miguel licked your neck, biting against it softly,
"You better not regret it then."
Before you could say a word, you gasped and moaned loudly as Miguel's pace became rough. His dick slamming into your gummy walls, making loud lewd sounds filled the room. Your juices soaking the bed sheets under you as he kept hitting that sweet spot you've gone nuts over.
Your moans became loud and pornographic as Miguel gave you no time to rest. You had cummed again, coating his cock white as he continued to ram into you. You body shaking and jolting with each thrust as your sensitivity grew.
"How lewd," Miguel groaned against your ear as his hips slapped into yours, "Don't know bout you, but I wouldn't mind getting used to this."
"Ah~ Mhm~ Y-Yes!" You cried out.
Miguel chuckled as you started to arch your back. Your expression getting more expressive as you started to get fucked out. Biting his lower lip, Miguel grunted as he bottomed out inside of you. His eyes sparkled as your mouth made a cute 'o' form.
"Now, how could I stop with just one?"
You gasped, gripping onto the bedsheets as Miguel flipped you over. Your head pressed against the pillow as he went balls deep inside you. Your body shaking in rhythm to his rough thrusts as you enjoyed the feeling of his cum pouring inside you.
"Ah~ Mig~"
You were in heaven. All you could focus on was how good your pussy felt with each thrust. How good Miguel was at hitting each sweet spot you had. You shook in pleasure as you felt Miguel cum inside you again, groaning to your moans.
"(Y/N), next time you think of me....call me so I can show you how to feel good."
"Yesh~" You cooed.
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Miguel chuckled as you fell asleep after his last load. Honestly, he could keep going with his stamina, but you weren't ready for that yet. Carefully picking you up, Miguel made sure to wash you up and change your bedsheets before tucking you in.
He may have went a little overboard. But you didn't mind. Smiling as he covered you in the blanket, Miguel kissed your head before heading out.
"See you tomorrow, (Y/N)."
Of course, Miguel took your panties home as a souvinier.
You weren't the only one who had wet dreams.
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Hope you enjoyed!
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keisobe · 1 year ago
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౨ৎ ‧˚ 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐖𝐄𝐁 (𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛. 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 + 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐨’𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚) ⋮ heavily suggestive. age difference. 18+ reader. cheating. ooc. ⎯ spiderdads love having you as their little intern.
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recently receiving a spider watch after a year of your debut as spider-woman in your dimension, you made it your ultimate duty to live up to the expectations of your variant superiors. your forthcoming nature and free time was open to anyone, but you found yourself always being in the radar of peter and miguel.
it would start off with innocent requests.
“hey kid, is it fine if you could grab me some coffee?” peter would smile at your enthusiastic nod and hand you his ‘number one dad’ mug. by now you know peter’s order— steaming hot coffee with powdered creamer.
“kid, transfer these files to sector 3.” miguel wouldn’t even look at you, but you still flashed a grin and began to sprint through the bustling hallway. you also learned he liked the empanadas at the cafeteria.
and in exchange of completed requests, you’ve found yourself looped into their peculiar ways to regard your work.
“good girl.” peter’s voice was hushed and deep as he sweetly patted your head, taking a careful sip of his aromatic coffee with an attractive grin. he left you a little stunned after that, or more so a blushing mess. then you watched him go back into his usual ‘i’m a proud dad’ routine and attend to mayday back in his dimension.
“gracias cari– u-umm i mean thanks… kid.” miguel uncharacteristically fumbles his words as he finally darts his ruby eyes away from the glowing, holographic screens, looking into your eyes with actual acknowledgement of your presence. his gaze was intense, a sense of longing in them. then he abruptly dismisses you, leaving you with a sense of wonder as to what just happened as you exited his lab.
it was always a special occasion when the two of them would be together.
“kiddo, you free?” peter shouted as he waved you down in the midst of you finishing a small errand for jess.
you responded with a firm nod as you sent jess a brief message on your watch. the smile you wore slightly faltered at the sight of a weirdly unreadable miguel beside peter— eyes glittering with a shade of red that you’ve never seen before. it made you feel on edge. nonetheless, you approach the two with a determined glow on your face as you let them lead you with peter filling in the awkward silence with his little quips and sarcastic comments towards miguel.
at this point, you've been working for the spider society for three months now. the teasing remarks from the other spider-people toned down and you’re finally classified as a real agent, exclusively working alongside miguel, jessica, and peter. and even through the fantastic upbringings in your life, something has been eating at you— more correctly, two people have been making your life miserably complicated.
miguel was by far the most interesting person you’ve met. his past takes a toll on him every counting day and the integral goal he based his life around is to never repeat his one mistake. although he’s very calloused and irritable, you admired his ambition and the rare moments his cold demeanor would falter to reveal a huge dork (in no other dimension have you ever seen a grown man get bullied by his own ai). as much as miguel shared a huge part of himself to you, he seemed far more content with being completely alone and devoting his life to a vow he made that day his daughter and an entire universe was wiped from existence.
peter, sarcastic and careless in nature, recently became an attentive father. it was endearing to see, considering the various stories of his depressing upbringing would make your warm lunch turn ice cold and soggy within a minute into his sulky narration (you might’ve avoided spending your lunch breaks with him afterwards). and his rekindling love with mary-jane finally gave him a sense of comfort and relief of a normal, happy family life. peter gave you a sting of hope that things will somehow turn out okay in the end. it made you feel closer to him, until you remembered that he was just sharing some old, adult wisdom to you.
and that was fine with you. you can totally push aside your small crushes for peter and miguel. one was emotionally unavailable and one was in a stable relationship with a beautiful daughter. plus they were your bosses and twice your age. so why? why is that miguel would linger a little longer whenever you announced that you’ll be going back to your dimension? why is that peter’s brown eyes would brighten up whenever you held mayday lovingly in your arms?
it didn’t help when miguel would start to call you endearing pet names with a genuine smile on his face, or when peter would situate you on his lap as he nuzzle his nose into your neck just because ‘it felt comfortable’. this conundrum made you think that you were completely losing your damn mind, that somehow you were looking too deep into the lines. but you concluded it was just all a huge misunderstanding on your part.
yeah, that’s what it was.
“you have to be quiet, okay?”
peter mumbles in the shell of ear as he clumsily discards your tight spider suit in the corner of the room while miguel makes sure that all the doors are sealed shut and locked from prying eyes.
it was normal just a few minutes ago. peter ribbing miguel with his usual dry humor, and miguel ignoring his antics to tick him off while leading you both to what you presumed to be a private conference room to discuss the important matters of anomalies.
but when the three of you nearly approach the door, peter suddenly stops talking. cautiously looking around his surroundings, peter presses himself closer and subtly grinds his hips onto the softness of your ass while miguel’s lingering hand gropes the curve of your tits— his neutral expression completely taunting your shattering composure. this is where your actual conundrum begins.
the room continued to hiss as the electric engines faintly knocked on the metal walls. the dimmed lights that made your very inappropriate circumstances much more intimate than it should be.
the chiseled arch of miguel’s cheekbones brushed the plush skin of your spread thighs, his sharp canines eagerly leaving tender marks that were reserved for only the three of you to look at. each bite and suck left you weakly whimpering his name with growing anticipation.
it was lonely back in your dimension, your bed was cold without another body to warm it up. returning back to an empty apartment would elicit forbidden thoughts— ones that held you in a heated daze until you realize you’re dumbly standing in the middle of the room and shamelessly yearning to open another portal to be in the arms of peter and miguel.
god, this was so wrong.
“aw, do you want more kid?” peter teasingly asks as his stumble scrapes along your jawline, leaving marks of his own along the junction of your neck.
miguel gazed up at your troubled expression, an amused smirk dancing along the swell of your inner thighs.
morals, pay attention to your morals.
you nodded eagerly, a force of habit after attending to the various needs of your superiors, but miguel wouldn’t take that as an answer.
“you have to tell us cariño.” miguel grumbles in between his love bites— crimson eyes glowing under the dull light.
oh well.
“yes! please, i need more.”
peter and miguel muse at your neediness, swiftly changing their positions as they propped you comfortably on a table placed in the middle of the room. you flinched from the chilling contact, but you were immediately warmed up when both men knelt down— each hooking an arm around your quivering legs and indecently displaying you as they spread your limbs. they move like they were on the same wavelength, finally agreeing on one thing.
guilt pinged in your stomach once again when peter’s wedding band brushes against your skin and miguel’s spider watch brightly flashes with pilled voice memos urgently calling for his assistance.
obviously annoyed, miguel hastily pries off the pinging watch and puts it aside while peter eagerly tucks his wedding ring in the pocket of his discarded pink robe. weirdly, their visible desperation to have their attention focused on you filled you with pride.
finally, two pairs of eyes were trained on you, sparkling with a hypnotizing red and a drunken brown. their previous notions left no ounce of guilt, instead it made them hyper focused with lust.
“don’t worry querida,” miguel gruffly murmurs as he snags your underwear with a sharp finger. “peter and i will take good care of you.”
“but don’t tell anyone kiddo.” peter cuts in, a subtle grin on his face but through his playful tone, he was dead serious.
you compliantly nodded.
of course, you won’t tell a single soul.
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KEISOBE © 2023. please do not copy, translate, or modify any of my work. all of my works are not permitted to be posted on any other sites.
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nicoline1998enilocin · 6 months ago
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"Marry Me" || Chapter 1
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PAIRING || Boyfriend!Tony Stark x Girlfriend!Nurse!Fem!Reader
WORDCOUNT || 4.1K
SUMMARY || Tony comes home from another gruesome mission and doesn't stay unharmed this time. As you take care of his wounds, he can't keep his thoughts to himself any longer, and he asks you to marry him in a way you never would have seen coming.
RATING || Explicit (E)
TAGS || Canon divergence. Everybody lives AU. Age gap.
WARNINGS || Injured!Tony Stark. Administration of painkillers through a shot.
SMUT || Teasing. Daddy kink. Praise. Dirty talk. Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!). Cream pie.
A/N || This story is dedicated to my best friend I could have ever wished for, @ccbsrmsf1. Carol, I cannot even begin to describe the gratefulness I feel for you and your friendship, because it’s not something that can be put into words. Thank you for being here for me through it all, eu te amo 🤍
EVENTS @fandombingo || Sleepy morning sex @fandom-free-bingo Book Night || 'You make me feel like I am home again' @fandom-free-bingo Book Night || "I'm getting old." @fandom-free-bingo Maritime May || Reassuring touches
@fandom-free-bingo Maritime May || Don't make me laugh @fandom-free-bingo Wild || "I've got you." @seasonaldelightsbingo Language of flowers || The little spoon for the first time @sweetspicybingo Hurt/Comfort || "Are you okay?"
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GIF: @ccbsrmsf1 || Graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin
Main Masterlist || Tony Stark Masterlist || Series Masterlist
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It's been a week since you last saw your boyfriend - none other than Tony Stark himself - because he's been on a long and tiring mission to destroy the last few HYDRA bases that were left in Brazil. There has been little to no contact between you two, aside from the quick messages through JARVIS, the AI he built, to let you know he's still alive.
However, the message you received not even half an hour ago has you a little more worried than usual. During your many years as a nurse for SHIELD and Tony's private nurse, there's practically nothing you haven't lived through, but to know your boyfriend is hurt still sends shivers down your spine.
Tony has built a private exam room in his penthouse for moments like these, and you have treated many different wounds and injuries there. From ones obtained during missions to mishaps down in his lab, rarely a day goes by where something doesn't go wrong, but you love him for it. His clumsy nature is one of the things that attracted you to him in the first place.
Now, you're setting up the exam room after JARVIS's orders about Tony coming home soon and a brief description of his injuries, which you're thankful for. This means you're not going in blind as he arrives in your shared home.
When you put down the last instruments and bandages in the room, you hear the elevator door open, notifying you that Tony is back. As you walk out to greet him, your heart sinks into your stomach because the sight in front of you is one you will never get used to, no matter how many times you see it.
Tony is limping and heavily favoring his left leg over the right; he's clutching his arm to his ribs, and he's covered in countless little cuts and bruises, blood seemingly being everywhere. His clothes are torn, and his facial expression is a mix of both tiredness and sadness, but when he sees you, he instantly gets a shimmer in his eyes.
"Hi, Gorgeous," Tony whispers before wincing, his eyes shut tightly as a wave of undeniable pain shoots through his entire body.
"Hi, Beautiful," you say with a soft smile, right before herding him into the exam room so you can give him some painkillers. Tony carefully takes his place on the large exam table and sinks into it with a sigh, relief washing over him now that he's home and being taken care of.
As you walk around the room to prepare the last things for the examination, Tony can't stop looking at you. He admires seeing you in your element like this, and even though he's in a great deal of pain right now, he seems to forget it for just a moment now that he's in your presence again. He may not like anything related to the medical field, but he has learned to accept it since knowing you.
"How did the mission go?" you ask Tony in a calm, steady voice, your gaze focused on the cuts on his face while you clean them. Tony's lips curl into a small smile when you're this close to him. His deep, dark brown eyes follow every movement of your face, and he loves how the tip of your tongue pokes out when you're concentrating on something.
"There were some unforeseen difficulties, but overall, it went well. Got hit a few times, though, as you can tell," he says, and you chuckle at his words. That same chuckle has Tony's heart skipping a beat each time he hears the melodic sound falling from your lips.
"I'm glad you're safe now, though. I'm glad to have my man home again," you tell him, leaning in for a soft peck on his lips. As you pull away, Tony lets his head fall back against the table, a large smile on his lips and his mind going crazy. He's deeply in love with you, and having you call him 'your man' does things he can't explain.
Once his face is patched up, it's time to move on to his torso. But before you can do that, you'll have to remove his shirt, which causes a lot of groans and winces, but he knows it has to be done.
"It's okay, Beautiful. I've got you." Tony pushes for just one more moment until his shirt is off, and you gasp when it is as you look at the damage. A dark purple bruise covers most of his ribs and part of his chest and abdomen, and there are even more cuts and minor bruises littered over the rest of his torso.
"Oh my god," you say as you inspect it, and Tony looks at you apologetically, as if he wants to say sorry for being hurt like this.
"What happened?" you ask him, your brows furrowed in concern. He exhales shakily before telling you he got his ass kicked in some hand-to-hand combat when his suit didn't work. A lump forms in your throat as you try to treat him to the best of your abilities, but it's not easy when he has multiple broken ribs - they're the reason he was clutching his arm tightly against his chest and rib cage.
"Oh, you poor thing," you whisper as you look up at him, your hand cupping his cheek again.
"I think it's better if you take it easy for a while, Beautiful. I will give you a shot to help with the healing later, but this isn't going to go away with just that," you explain, and he nods. Deep inside, he's relieved to have to slow down a bit, as his life is fast-paced enough already. He's been wanting to spend more time with you at home, and this is the perfect way to do just that.
"I love you, Tony, but this is taking a big toll on you. I don't mind taking care of you and patching you up, but I also think that you should start thinking about retiring," you tell him, and even though it hurts to have to say to him, it's the right thing to do.
"I know, Gorgeous, and you're right. The fact that I'm getting old doesn't help my case either," he says with a sad smile as you take a seat on the edge of the exam table, grabbing his hand as you do.
"I'm not saying you should retire right away, but once you do, we might finally be able to start the family we've been dreaming of," you tell your boyfriend. He looks at you with such love and admiration as you say it; it's indescribable. The feeling swirling through your chests can't be put into words, but you both know you feel the same.
"Let's start now, Gorgeous. I don't care about being Iron Man or the Avengers; I want to start a family with you. I want to grow old with you. You are all I care about," he whispers, and you're fighting back tears at his admission. A soft 'okay' leaves your lips, and Tony squeezes your hand.
"But first, I have to finish patching you up, Beautiful. Otherwise, we're not going to be able to do anything without me having to do all the work," you joke, and Tony can't help but laugh, though as soon as he starts, he also stops as he winces in pain.
"Oh god, don't make me laugh, Gorgeous," Tony says with an amused smile. The two of you sit silently for a little while, and out of nowhere, you reach up to touch the tattoo on his chest, your name proudly shown on his skin forever.
Your fingers glide over it, and you look at it until Tony grabs your wrist carefully with his free hand, bringing your fingers to his lips and kissing them softly. More specifically, he kisses the place where he has been planning to put a ring for a few years now.
"I love you, Gorgeous. I'm the luckiest man on earth with you by my side," he whispers before bringing your digits to his mouth again and placing a lingering kiss, pouring every ounce of emotion into the one gesture.
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"How're you feeling, Beautiful? Are you okay?" you ask Tony as you stand in the large shower in your shared home, the water cascading down on both of you as he holds you close to his body. Soft kisses and gentle touches are shared between you both as your back is against his chest, and your breathing patterns slowly sync up.
"Yeah, I'm doing much better with you in here with me," he tells you before kissing your temple softly. You smile at his words. Seeing his injuries, you offer to help him shower, and if there's one thing he never says no to, it's bringing you in there with him.
"I'm glad I can help you to feel better," you whisper as you turn around and wrap your arms around his waist. Your head is placed gently against his shoulder as your eyes slip shut, and you finally dare to sigh in relief. There's always a certain level of worry in your body as Tony is gone for missions, and you never dare to settle down until you know he's okay and safe with you.
"I can't stop thinking about starting a family with you," Tony tells you as he lets his hands wander over your hips and sides until they're splayed out over your belly, his thumbs rubbing the soft flesh as you smile into his touches.
"Having a few little ones running around with another one on the way, God, you'll be so beautiful when you're pregnant, Gorgeous," Tony says before pulling away, turning you around, and sinking to the ground, his face at the same level as your belly.
"I can already imagine the little feet kicking inside you as they're growing and how beautiful you will be as you have a pregnancy glow," Tony tells you as he rubs your belly softly with his cheek. Your hands carefully lace into his hair and rub softly, calming him down immensely.
"What would you like it to be? A boy or a girl?" you ask your boyfriend, who smiles at your question.
"Both." His answer is short and to the point, but he's already thought about it plenty of times. He's always dreamt of having at least one girl and one boy, but he will happily accept what the universe is willing to give you both.
"What about you, Gorgeous?" he says as he carefully looks up at you, his facial hair tickling your belly.
"Both," you say with a dopey smile, and Tony smiles before peppering your belly in kisses, making you laugh as his beard and mustache keep tickling you in your ticklish areas. Eventually, Tony gets up, pulling you against his chest, your head leaning against his shoulder once more while his hands rub over your back in a soothing pattern.
Before stepping into the shower, Tony has put on some background music, and you're both swaying back and forth to it as your boyfriend gathers the courage to ask you something important. Though he's been planning on making it a special moment, he also knows there won't be another moment more right than the one you're sharing now.
"Marry me."
At first, you're not sure you heard him correctly as you pull your head back. Your gaze meets his brown eyes, a large smile on his lips, and one of his brows quirked in excitement.
"Marry me, Gorgeous," he says again, and there's no denying it this time. Tony proposed to you, and a huge smile worked its way onto your face as tears fell down your cheeks. Out of all the moments he could have possibly chosen, you're not sure why he did it now, but it's perfect.
"Yes, I will marry you, Tony," you say before standing on your tiptoes and pulling him close. Your lips crash together as the excitement takes over your bodies. Tony's fingers dig into your sides as he's impossibly trying to pull you closer, even though there's no more space between you two.
"God, I can't believe you're going to become Mrs. Stark," he says with a breathy chuckle after pulling away for some much-needed air. Tony presses his forehead against yours as he tucks some wet strands of your hair behind your ear, your eyes focused only on each other.
"I can't wait to be Mrs. Stark," you tell him, a flurry of butterflies in your stomach going wild as you say the words aloud. Future Mrs. Stark indeed has a nice ring to it.
"I love you so much, Gorgeous. I'm so lucky to have you say yes to marrying me. I've been dreaming of it for months," Tony emphasizes before capturing your lips again, not wanting to be away from your plump, soft lips for too long.
His hands wander over your bare back down to the globes of your butt, where he lets them rest for a little while, despite the slightly awkward angle of his body due to your height difference. He's always been obsessed with your butt, constantly touching it when you're together or slapping it during sex.
"I love you too, Tony," you whisper in his ear before turning off the shower and getting ready to sleep. It's not that late in the evening yet, but Tony needs his sleep to heal, and you're getting tired, too.
It doesn't take long for you both to be curled up under the covers, enjoying each other's warmth and closeness. However, Tony asked you to be the big spoon so he could be the little spoon for the first time.
"How's this?" you ask Tony as you place soft kisses between his shoulder blades. You can't reach any higher due to your significant height difference.
"Good," Tony murmurs, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as your fingers slowly lull him to sleep. They're tracing abstract patterns over his chest and around his arc reactor, and you can feel his breathing slowing down until it evens out.
"I love you, Beautiful," you whisper once Tony is asleep, and it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep. 
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During the night, both you and your now fiancé slept like logs, and the shot you gave Tony yesterday has done an amazing job of healing him. Now, he's busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast for you while you're still curled under the warmth of the comforter of Tony's king-size bed.
Soft music plays in the kitchen while Tony scrambles a few eggs, and the smell of food brings a smile to Tony's face at the thought of surprising you with it later. While he prepares every last one of your favorite dishes, he's also preparing the tray to present to you later.
After working in the kitchen for another 30 minutes, the tray is adorned with a small bouquet of fresh flowers in a vase, the food he prepared, a steaming cup of tea, and a small, black ring box.
Now comes the real challenge for Tony—getting to the bedroom without dropping anything or scaring you. With careful steps, he makes his way over there, and much to his surprise, nothing spills or falls off, making him feel rather proud of himself.
The bedroom door is slightly ajar as he makes his way over, pushing it open further with his foot, before being greeted by you lying on your belly, the comforter halfway down your back, exposing your bare back to him, and he can't help but smile.
"G'morning, Sleepyhead," Tony says as you start waking up from the smell of fresh food. Tony is crouching next to the bed.
"How did you sleep, Gorgeous?" he asks as he wipes some hair out of your face to expose your beautiful smile and sleepy expression. His heart beats faster when he sees his future wife lying in his bed, smiling at him, and he has rarely felt this fortunate.
"Amazing, what about you?" you ask before sitting up and stretching out some of the sleep. That's when you notice the food Tony prepared. It's all there, from fresh waffles and scrambled eggs to fresh fruit and your favorite tea.
"I haven't slept this good in a long time; I think I should be the little spoon more often," Tony tells you as he gets up and reaches for something on the tray. Once his fingers are curled around it, you notice it's a small, velvety box, and your heart immediately starts to pump faster - an engagement ring.
While you look at your fiancé getting into position, you put your hand over your mouth in disbelief, as you didn't expect him to propose first thing in the morning, but here he is, going down on one knee.
"Gorgeous; from the moment I met you, I knew that your presence in my life would be one of immeasurable worth, and you have proven me more than right. From all the times you have patched me up after missions, and from all the nights we stayed up talking when one of us needed it most, they're all cherished deep within my heart," he starts, and you start tearing up as you listen to him propose.
"Before we got together, I didn't care if I lived or died, but when you asked me out on a date, I knew I had someone worth living for - someone who's worth fighting for. I knew I wanted to come home from the moment you moved in with me because you made me feel like I was home again."
You stretch out your hand, and Tony grabs it before squeezing it carefully. Soft sniffles escape as the words sink in with you. Your heart is going into overdrive, and the butterflies in your stomach are going wild, but it's more than worth it.
"Y/N Y/L/N, will you officially give me the honor of becoming the future Mrs. Stark and marrying me?" After flipping open the box, Tony asks, and you nod enthusiastically, a broken 'yes' leaving your lips before wrapping your arms around your fiancé.
He quickly sits down on the edge of the bed as you two let the tears flow freely, the breakfast he prepared long forgotten as you're basking in the glory of the moment. Tony has slipped the ring on your finger, and you can't stop looking at it from every angle.
"It's beautiful, Tony," you tell him while you look at the ring and slowly work on eating the breakfast he prepared. He constantly feeds you the fresh fruit and waffles while stealing a kiss between each bite, while he happily lets you feed some of the eggs and toast he prepared for himself, which goes paired with even more stolen kisses.
"I can't believe you went down on one knee for me first thing in the morning!" you tell him with a soft smack against his chest. He smiles before rubbing his nose against yours lovingly.
"I'm glad I did, though. I've been carrying that thing around for literal years at this point but never found the right moment. It turns out I just needed to have you take care of me for it to be the right moment," he says in a soft voice, and you feel the goosebumps rising on your neck.
"How about you let me take care of you for once?" Tony asks as he peppers a royal amount of kisses over your cheek and jaw, making you moan softly as his teeth graze over the edge of it, your nipples immediately pebbling at the feeling of it.
"Please," you whisper as you look into his eyes, lust visible in them. Before you know it, Tony has put the tray on the floor, and the comforter pulled off your body, revealing your entirely bare body to him. He gets comfortable between your legs after you've spread them, and his mouth descends on your neck and collarbone, sucking soft bruises into the skin.
Your fingers are laced in his hair as he takes his time marking you up, his hips rutting his cock against your soft, dripping pussy as he does. Soft moans tumble from your lips as you tug on his hair, and the feeling of his lips and tongue, together with his facial hair, is driving you insane as he takes his time.
"D-Daddy," you whine as his tip gets caught on your sensitive clit, and he smiles against your skin before lifting his head and meeting your gaze. Your eyes are already half-lidded, and your lip is raw from all the biting, but Tony has never seen a more beautiful sight.
"What is it, Sweet Mama? Are you gettin' a little impatient?" he asks teasingly, and you nod shyly.
"Want you inside me, Daddy," you tell him, and he's never been able to say no when you ask him so nicely. He reaches down to guide himself to your entrance; his gaze focused on your expression as he slides in his long, thick cock.
You spread your legs a little more to accommodate every last inch of him, and you both moan in unison as he bottoms out. You instantly clench down on his cock, and he kisses you softly as you get adjust to him being inside you again.
"You're taking me so well, Gorgeous. Você é uma garota tão boa," he whispers in your ear. Your cheeks heat up as you hear him calling you a good girl in Portuguese. Before you met Tony you spent a few years in Brazil, and you have taught him quite a bit of Portuguese for his mission, but you didn’t teach him that, but goosebumps crawl across your skin as you smile at his words.
After Tony called you that, you clench around him even harder, making Tony bury his face in your neck. In a bold moment, you surprise Tony by landing a loud, hard smack on his ass, and the jerk of his body only drives his cock even deeper into you.
"So tight, Babygirl, 's so fucking tight around my cock, can feel you milkin' me already," he groans, and he sets a slow pace once you're finally allowing him to move. Every inch of his thick, veiny cock feels like heaven as he takes his time, and you let your head sinks into the soft pillows as you look at your fiancé.
"I love you so much," he says as he lets his hand glide over your arm until he reaches the hand with the engagement ring on it. He brings the ring to his lips, placing a soft kiss on it. His eyes are locked onto yours as he does, and you feel the butterflies in your stomach go wild.
"I love you too, Tony," you say before pulling him down for a deep, passionate kiss. His fingers interlace with yours as he keeps building your high. The atmosphere in your bedroom is still cozy from the night, and with Tony's comfortable, slow pace, you can feel yourself almost slipping into a drowsy state.
"I want you to cum for me, Gorgeous, I'm so close to filling you up," Tony whispers as he noses along your jaw, and your back arches into him at the words, your senses on high alert as you're getting ready to fall over the edge. Out of nowhere, he also grabs your other hand, pinning them both above your head as he picks up the pace, chasing both your highs.
"God, keep milkin' me, Babygirl, milk Daddy's cock like a good fuckin' girl," he growls, and before you know it, you're both falling over the edge simultaneously. He keeps working you both through your orgasms, and when you're both finished, he pulls out before pulling you against his chest as he falls to the side.
You're both panting as you let your head rest on his chest, your fingers gliding over your name on his chest again.
"I would love to add even more names to your tattoo. I think it's also the perfect spot to add our children's names," you say dreamily as you think about having a few little ones running around in the future.
"I thought so too, Gorgeous," Tony says, and it's the last thing you know before letting your eyes slip shut, and sleep quickly takes over. The rest of the day, neither of you leaves the bed as you make love for hours, never getting enough of one another.
Today marks the first day of the rest of your lives together, and you can't wait to see what the future has in store for you both.
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amethystarachnid · 13 days ago
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Can you write a second part of Sky Rockets and Robots with Tony and Reader getting married, Tony adopting Lily as his own daughter and our beautiful couple welcoming a new baby? 💛💛💛
SKY ROCKETS AND ROBOTS - part II
⤷ ANTHONY “TONY” E. STARK
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ᯓ★ Pairing: Anthony “Tony” E. Stark x fem!reader
ᯓ★ Genre: romance, fluff, some angst, a little bit of spicy
ᯓ★ part 1
ᯓ★ Story type: short fanfic
ᯓ★ Word count: 7k
ᯓ★ Summary: Just when you thought that your life with Tony couldn't get better he proposes! How will you life with him be?
ᯓ★ TW(s): pregnancy,
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ᯓ★ English isn’t my first language
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One crisp autumn afternoon, you're busy in the kitchen, listening to the soft hum of the city outside, while Lily is sitting at the table with her latest science project: a DIY volcano, complete with baking soda, vinegar, and food coloring. Tony’s somewhere in the penthouse, tinkering in the lab or wrapping up a call. This is your routine now—a life filled with laughter, tinkering, and little family moments that feel so natural it’s hard to remember a time when it wasn’t like this.
You watch Lily, trying to focus on measuring the baking soda without spilling it everywhere, her tongue poking out in concentration. She glances at you, her eyes sparkling with the excitement of a secret only she knows. It’s been like this all week—your daughter keeps sending you these knowing looks, barely able to contain whatever she’s hiding. She’s never been one for secrets, so it’s impressive that she’s kept it in this long.
“Mommy, can I add the vinegar now?” she asks, her voice just a little higher than usual, like she's bursting to say something else.
“Go for it, kiddo. Just a little bit at first, okay?” you reply, smiling at her enthusiasm. But before you can finish your sentence, Lily dumps the entire cup of vinegar in. The mixture foams up instantly, spilling over the sides of the bottle and flooding the tray in an eruption of bright red froth. Lily squeals in delight, clapping her hands, and you can't help but laugh with her.
Tony appears in the doorway, a curious smile on his face as he leans against the frame, arms crossed. “What’s going on here? More science experiments?” He winks at you, then focuses on Lily, who beams up at him, clearly holding in that same mysterious excitement.
“It was a big one!” Lily says proudly, pointing at the volcano. Tony steps forward, giving her an impressed nod and a fist bump that makes her giggle.
He straightens up, then gives you that look—the one that says he’s about to say something mischievous. “So, I’ve got a surprise for the two of you,” he says, his tone casual but his eyes bright with something more. “I thought it might be time for a family day out.”
You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “A family day?”
“Yeah,” he replies, sounding perfectly innocent. “Just the three of us. I booked a place upstate. Thought we could get some fresh air, do something different.”
You give him a skeptical look, but Lily's practically bouncing in her seat, a bundle of barely contained excitement. “Yes, please! Can we go, Mommy?”
The enthusiasm in her voice is infectious. “Alright, alright,” you say, trying not to laugh at her obvious joy. “But Tony,” you add, giving him a look, “no suits, no AI, no tech distractions.”
He raises his hands, giving you a look of feigned innocence. “You have my word. Just a simple day with the two of you.”
That’s how you find yourself driving out of the city early the next morning, Tony at the wheel and Lily chattering happily in the backseat, her eyes glued to the landscape speeding by. It’s strange seeing him like this—just a man taking his family for a weekend getaway. It’s all so normal, yet it fills you with a warmth that’s hard to put into words.
You reach the cabin as the sun is high in the sky, casting golden light over the rustic wooden lodge nestled at the edge of a lake. The leaves are in full autumn splendor, a mix of fiery reds, deep oranges, and vibrant yellows that make everything look like it’s been painted by some master artist. Lily hops out of the car the moment it stops, rushing to explore, her delighted giggles echoing through the trees.
You and Tony watch her, both smiling, before he takes your hand. “Come on,” he says, guiding you towards the cabin. Inside, it’s cozy and inviting, with a large fireplace in the living room and big windows that let in the afternoon sunlight. It feels like the kind of place people dream of running away to.
The day passes in a blur of simple pleasures—roasting marshmallows, skipping stones with Lily on the lake, Tony’s arm around your shoulders as you laugh together. It feels like a perfect slice of life, something out of a story. And yet, there's something more simmering beneath the surface, a tension in Tony’s eyes that’s both thrilling and a little nerve-wracking. It feels like he's building up to something, but you're not sure what.
That evening, after Lily’s fallen asleep in one of the cabin’s cozy beds, you and Tony step outside to the porch, the stars bright above you in the clear, crisp night. You pull your sweater tighter around you, and Tony wraps an arm around your shoulders, his warmth comforting against the cool night air.
“This has been perfect,” you say softly, leaning into him.
Tony glances down at you, his expression unreadable for a moment, before he smiles, a softness in his eyes that makes your heart skip a beat. “It’s only going to get better,” he murmurs, and there’s that same glint of mischief in his eyes.
You raise an eyebrow, curious, but before you can ask, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a rock. Not just any rock, though—it’s painted with bright colors, a swirl of blues and greens with glitter sprinkled on top. In the middle is a heart, painstakingly painted in red.
Your eyes widen as you look at it. “Did… did you make this?”
Tony chuckles. “Let’s just say I had some help.” He glances towards the cabin where Lily is asleep, his face softening. “She insisted I do it right. No shortcuts, no tech. Just… paint and a lot of patience.”
You laugh, turning the rock over in your hands, admiring the effort. “Well, it’s beautiful,” you say, touched. “But I don’t understand—”
Before you can finish, Tony takes your hand, guiding you down the porch steps and towards the edge of the lake, the painted rock still in your hand. He stops by the water, looking out over the calm, moonlit surface. Then he turns to face you, taking both your hands in his, his gaze intense.
“I know I haven’t exactly been the picture of stability,” he begins, his voice quiet but steady. “And I know that you and Lily are a package deal—the two most important people in my life now.” His thumb brushes over your knuckles, a small, comforting gesture. “You both mean more to me than anything else ever has.”
Your heart is racing now, and you can feel the warmth in your cheeks as he takes a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours.
“I love you,” he says, his voice full of sincerity. “I love you and Lily more than I thought I was capable of loving anyone.” He pauses, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “And I want to be there for both of you. Always.”
It’s only then that he reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small, velvet box. He opens it to reveal a ring—a delicate band with a single, radiant diamond, glittering under the moonlight.
Your breath catches, your eyes wide as he lowers himself onto one knee, still holding your hand. He looks up at you, his expression vulnerable in a way you’ve rarely seen before. “Will you marry me?”
The words hang in the air, beautiful and surreal, and for a moment you can only stare, your mind struggling to process the enormity of this moment. But then everything clicks into place—all the little moments, the shared laughter, the quiet talks on the balcony, the nights spent watching over Lily together. You realize that you’ve already made your choice. You made it a long time ago, the moment you let him into your life, into Lily’s life.
“Yes,” you whisper, your voice barely audible over the gentle lapping of the water. “Yes, Tony. A thousand times, yes.”
A huge grin breaks across his face as he slips the ring onto your finger, his hands warm and steady. And then he’s standing, pulling you into his arms, kissing you like it’s the first time all over again.
When you finally pull back, a familiar giggle breaks the silence, and you turn to see Lily standing on the porch, her little face lit up with a smile so wide it could rival the moon.
“I kept the secret, Mommy!” she exclaims proudly, rushing over to throw her arms around both of you. Tony scoops her up, laughing, and you can’t help but join in, the three of you caught in a bubble of happiness that feels like it will never burst.
You sit by the lake for a while longer, the three of you huddled together under a blanket, watching the stars. Lily falls asleep in Tony’s arms, her small hand still clutching the painted rock. As you lean your head on Tony’s shoulder, feeling the warmth of him, the softness of the ring on your finger, you realize that you have everything you’ve ever wanted right here.
You look up at him, your heart full. “So, when did you know you wanted this?” you ask quietly, your voice barely a whisper.
He glances down at you, a small smile playing on his lips. “I think I’ve known for a while. But watching you and Lily, seeing the way you both just… fit into my life, like you were always meant to be there—that sealed it.”
You smile, your fingers lacing through his. “I think we were always meant to find each other.”
And as you sit there, wrapped in each other’s warmth, the world feels impossibly perfect. This is your family, your home, and you know, without a doubt, that you’ll hold onto this moment forever.
The weeks following your engagement pass in a flurry of plans, decisions, and endless little tasks, each one building toward the day that’s slowly starting to feel real: your wedding day. Tony, true to his style, has big ideas—ideas involving grand venues, designer dresses, and enough food to feed half of New York. But amidst all his extravagant visions, there’s one more excited than anyone else about every detail: Lily.
From the very first morning after Tony proposes, Lily becomes a self-appointed wedding expert. She’s up before the sun, sitting at the breakfast table with her favorite colored markers and a notebook, declaring her “wedding checklist” in all caps across the top of the page. She’s drawing flowers, dresses, cakes, and even seating plans (although, granted, her seating chart just shows her sitting next to everyone important).
“Mommy,” she says, pushing her notebook across the table, “we have to pick a cake first! That’s the most important part.”
Tony, sipping his coffee, nods gravely as if she’s made the most profound statement ever. “She’s got a point. Cake is a critical component.”
You laugh, reaching for her notebook. “Alright, cake first. But it’ll have to be something both of you like.”
“I like chocolate and strawberry!” she exclaims, her eyes bright.
“Noted,” Tony says, sliding his phone over and already searching for bakeries that specialize in grand wedding cakes. And just like that, it’s the first official wedding decision: a cake tasting with Lily front and center.
When the day of the cake tasting finally arrives, Lily comes along dressed in her favorite fancy dress—a soft pink number with a glittery belt. She drags both of you up to each cake display, pointing out all her favorites and reminding you multiple times which flavors she’s “approved.” The bakery owner, clearly smitten with her, lets her try samples of nearly every flavor on display. By the time you leave, Lily has a chocolate-stained grin and declares herself “very full, but still ready for more wedding stuff.”
Over the next few weeks, Lily’s enthusiasm for every aspect of the wedding grows exponentially. She wants to help choose the flowers, eagerly pointing out her favorites at each meeting. At the florist, she insists on showing you bouquets with big, vibrant blooms, which Tony, ever the doting soon-to-be dad, immediately insists on adding to the order. “If Lily wants them, we’ll make it work,” he says with a shrug, sending you a playful wink.
Then there’s the dress. Your gown shopping trip is a dream come true for Lily, who’s absolutely certain that her opinion is critical to finding the perfect dress. She examines each option with a serious expression, giving a small nod or a big “no” depending on her reaction. When you finally try on a gown with intricate lace details and a long, flowing train, her eyes widen, and she lets out a gasp. “Mommy! You look like a princess!”
You catch Tony’s reflection in the mirror as he stands off to the side, watching you with that unmistakable softness in his eyes. You can see him mouthing “wow” under his breath, and when you meet his gaze, there’s an unspoken promise in it—a promise of all the beautiful moments still ahead.
Lily, ever-dedicated to her role as wedding planner, also insists on helping with her own dress selection. You take her shopping for a junior bridesmaid dress, and after trying on several options, she settles on a beautiful white dress with a tulle skirt and a satin bow. She twirls in it, giggling and watching her reflection as if she, too, were preparing for her wedding day.
On the way home, she leans forward from the back seat, grinning at Tony. “Daddy, can I be in charge of the ring?”
Tony, glancing at you with a smile, nods. “You can be our official ring bearer and junior wedding coordinator. Think you’re up for the task?”
“Yup!” she says proudly. “I’ll be really careful!”
When the day of the wedding finally arrives, it’s everything you’d imagined and more—no detail spared, every element touched by Tony’s love of elegance and, of course, a bit of grandiosity. You’d agreed on a sprawling estate just outside the city, surrounded by gardens that are in full bloom, bathed in soft, golden sunlight that feels almost magical. Massive floral arrangements of white roses, lilies, and peonies line the aisle, creating a soft, enchanting fragrance that wafts gently in the breeze.
Lily’s eyes are wide with awe as she takes in the setting. She holds your hand tightly, her face a mixture of pride and excitement. She knows every part of the ceremony by heart, from when she’s supposed to walk down the aisle to where she’ll stand by your side. She’s practically vibrating with excitement, her eyes darting around as she tries to soak in every little detail of the day she helped plan.
As you prepare in the bridal suite, Lily stands by your side, admiring every part of your look with the utmost seriousness. She makes tiny adjustments to your veil and whispers, “You look perfect, Mommy.” Her sincerity nearly brings tears to your eyes, and you have to take a deep breath to keep from getting misty-eyed.
Meanwhile, outside, Tony has pulled out all the stops, sparing no expense on the venue, catering, or décor. There’s a sprawling tent set up with chandeliers, elegant table settings with custom menus, and an orchestra softly playing classical music. It’s grand and beautiful, yet somehow intimate, as if every detail has been chosen with you in mind.
As the ceremony begins, Lily leads the way down the aisle, clutching the satin ring pillow with utmost concentration, her face solemn as she carefully makes her way to the front. When she reaches Tony, she gives him a small, proud nod, and he grins, giving her a quick thumbs-up before his attention shifts to the end of the aisle, where you’ve just stepped into view.
The moment he sees you, his expression softens, and he gazes at you like you’re the only person in the world. You feel your heart flutter, the same excitement and nervousness filling you as when you first met. You walk toward him, every step bringing you closer to the future you’ve both dreamed of, and when you reach him, he takes your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
The ceremony itself is beautiful, filled with words of love and promises that feel like they’ve been waiting forever to be spoken. When it’s time for the vows, Tony’s voice is steady, but there’s a slight quiver of emotion as he speaks. “I knew from the moment I met you that you’d change my life,” he begins, his eyes never leaving yours. “But I didn’t realize just how much you and Lily would become my life.”
His gaze shifts briefly to Lily, who’s standing beside you, watching him with wide eyes. “You’ve shown me a happiness I never thought I’d find, a family I didn’t even know I was looking for. I promise to love you both, to be there for you in every way, and to make our family my everything.”
The rest of his words blur in your mind as tears prick at your eyes, but you hold onto the warmth in his voice, the steady assurance in his touch.
When it’s your turn, you can barely get through the first few words before emotion chokes your voice. You promise to stand by him, to love him and cherish every moment with him and Lily. Your heart is so full, and every word feels like a vow not just to him, but to the life you’re building together.
Lily, watching you both, beams with pride as she hands over the rings with all the seriousness she can muster, her eyes shining as she watches her parents exchange them.
The moment the officiant pronounces you married, Tony pulls you into a kiss that’s filled with every unspoken feeling he’s held back, and as you part, there’s only happiness reflected in his eyes. The guests cheer, Lily lets out a delighted squeal, and you realize that this is everything you’d ever dreamed of.
The reception is a spectacular affair. The grand tent glows with hundreds of softly twinkling fairy lights, the tables are adorned with crystal and silk, and the food is decadent, the kind of feast fit for royalty. But through it all, the heart of the evening is your family. Tony makes a toast, his arm around your shoulders as he thanks everyone for being there and dedicates the night to you and Lily.
As the night goes on, you find yourself wrapped in Tony’s arms, watching as Lily flits around, entertained by guests and other children, her energy boundless.
“You know,” he murmurs, pulling you closer, “I don’t think I ever really understood what happiness could be until I met you. And now I have you, Lily, and this perfect life.”
You smile, reaching up to brush a hand along his cheek. “Well, Mr. Stark, you’ve officially made it a day we’ll never forget.”
Tony grins, leaning down to kiss you softly. “Here’s to a lifetime of them.”
And as you look around, at the friends and family gathered, the joy on Lily’s face, and the love in Tony’s eyes, you know that this is only the beginning.
A few months after the wedding, life settles into a rhythm that feels both new and wonderfully familiar. Tony has embraced every part of his role as a father, from helping Lily with her bedtime routine to planning weekend family outings. His love for her is fierce and unwavering, and you can see that she’s become the center of his world, just as much as you have. Lily’s adoration for him is just as strong, and in her eyes, Tony is already her father in every way that counts.
One evening, while you and Lily are going through her nightly bedtime ritual, an idea takes shape in your mind. You realize that making things official—having Tony formally adopt Lily as his daughter—could be a beautiful way to solidify the bond that already exists between them. But you also know this is something Lily should be involved in. After all, this is about her, too.
As you tuck her into bed, you bring up the idea gently, knowing that it might be a lot for her to process.
“Lily,” you begin softly, sitting on the edge of her bed and brushing a strand of hair from her face, “do you know what it means for someone to be adopted?”
She scrunches her nose, thinking hard. “It’s like…when someone gets to be in a family forever, right?”
You nod, smiling at her understanding. “That’s right, sweetheart. And I was thinking… what if Tony adopted you? That would make him your dad in every way—not just because he loves you like a daddy, but because it would be official, too.”
Lily tilts her head, her brows furrowing as she considers this. For a moment, she looks a little confused, as if the idea doesn’t quite make sense to her.
“But…he already is my daddy,” she says slowly, her eyes wide and questioning. “Why do we have to do anything special for that?”
You feel a pang of emotion, touched by her innocent view of family. To her, Tony’s love is already real and true, and a piece of paper could never define that. But you explain it as simply as you can, trying to help her see the gesture as an opportunity.
“It’s a way to show him that he’s your dad forever and always,” you say, smiling. “It’s something you can both look back on one day, and he’ll know how much you wanted him to be your daddy, too.”
Understanding seems to dawn on her face, and her eyes light up with excitement. “So… I get to ask him if he’ll be my real dad?”
“Yes,” you reply, your heart swelling. “If you want to, you can ask him. And maybe it could be a surprise?”
Her face breaks into a huge grin, and she claps her hands softly, clearly thrilled by the idea. “Yes! I want to surprise him!”
You watch as her mind races, her little fingers tapping against her blanket as she plans. “I want to make a card!” she exclaims suddenly, her voice bubbling with excitement. “I’ll draw me and Daddy, and I’ll ask him to be my dad forever!”
Her enthusiasm is contagious, and the next morning, she’s up with the sun, already digging out her art supplies and getting to work on her surprise. For the next few days, she’s laser-focused on the project, sneaking off to her room with markers and colored pencils, chattering to you about all the details she’s adding. She asks for help spelling words but insists on keeping her drawing a surprise, telling you that it has to be “just right” for Tony.
Finally, his birthday arrives. It’s a cozy evening celebration at home, with Lily helping you prepare a cake and hang up a few decorations. She can barely sit still during dinner, her eyes darting to the gift she’s hidden carefully behind a chair. When Tony finally opens his presents, she waits until the very end, watching with bated breath until it’s time to give him her card.
“Daddy,” she says, her voice filled with both excitement and a hint of nervousness, “I have a special present for you.”
Tony’s eyes light up with curiosity as she hands him the card, carefully crafted with crayon illustrations of stick-figure versions of the three of you, all holding hands. At the top, in her best handwriting, she’s written, “For my Daddy, Forever.”
He opens the card, and his eyes move over her drawing, then to the note she’s carefully written beneath it.
“Dear Daddy, will you please adopt me so I can be your real daughter forever? I love you so much. Love, Lily.”
There’s a quiet moment as he processes her words, his face shifting from surprise to understanding, and finally to deep, overwhelming emotion. His breath catches, and his hand comes up to cover his mouth as he fights to keep his composure. But his eyes shine with unshed tears, and as he reads her words again, a single tear slips down his cheek.
He sets the card down carefully and looks at Lily, his voice unsteady but filled with warmth. “You really want me to be your dad?”
She nods, her eyes bright and hopeful. “Yes! I want to be your real daughter, Daddy. Forever.”
He pulls her into his arms, holding her close, his voice thick with emotion as he whispers, “You have no idea how much this means to me, sweetheart. You’re my daughter, and you always will be.”
She squeezes him tightly, her little arms wrapped around his neck as she buries her face in his shoulder. Tony’s eyes meet yours over her shoulder, and there’s a depth of gratitude and love in his gaze that takes your breath away. In that moment, you see the man you fell in love with, the man who has become a father in every way that counts.
Finally, he pulls back, brushing a hand gently over her hair. “Thank you, Lily,” he says softly. “Thank you for choosing me to be your dad.”
She giggles, wiping a tear from his cheek with her little hand. “Now you’re a real daddy! And we’re a real family forever!”
Tony chuckles, pulling her close again, and you join them, wrapping your arms around both of them as you sit together, feeling the weight of the moment settle around you in the best way possible. You’re a family—one built on love, trust, and a bond that goes far beyond words or papers. And as you sit there, all three of you wrapped in each other’s arms, you know that this moment, this promise, is something you’ll cherish forever.
Later that night, when Lily’s asleep, Tony holds the card in his hands again, tracing over her words with a soft, almost reverent touch. He glances up at you, his voice still hushed with emotion. “I didn’t think I could love her any more than I already did,” he whispers, his eyes glistening. “But knowing that she chose me…I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like this.”
You reach for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “You’ve given her so much, Tony. She feels safe, loved…like she finally belongs. And that’s because of you.”
He looks down, his smile soft but filled with the quiet strength that defines him. “I may not have known what I was missing before,” he murmurs, pulling you close, “but now I do. And I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”
As he kisses you softly, his hand resting on the card, you know that this journey, the one that started with a small family and a big love, is only just beginning. And together, you’re ready for every beautiful, imperfect, incredible moment still to come.
As you sit together in the soft glow of the dimmed lights, the quiet hum of night settling around you, Tony’s eyes stay fixed on you. He still holds Lily’s card gently in his hands, his thumb brushing over the childishly scrawled words, but his gaze is on you—filled with a depth of love and gratitude that wraps around you like a warm embrace.
Slowly, he places the card on the table beside him, and without breaking eye contact, he pulls you onto his lap, his hands warm as they rest on your hips. The quiet of the house feels heavy, intimate, filled with the unspoken emotions that tonight has stirred between you.
“Thank you,” he murmurs, his voice soft, the words laced with a warmth that makes your heart flutter. “For letting me be part of this. For making me feel like…like I belong.”
You cup his face, your thumb grazing over the line of his jaw as you tilt his face up to meet yours. “You’re more than just a part of it, Tony. You are it. You and Lily—you’re my family.”
There’s a heat that flares in his gaze as you speak, a spark that kindles something deeper, something that has simmered beneath the surface, fed by months of tenderness, laughter, and every precious moment you’ve shared together. His fingers tighten on your hips, pulling you closer, and before you know it, his lips are on yours—warm, insistent, and filled with a passion that leaves you breathless.
The kiss deepens, his hand sliding up to the back of your neck, holding you close as his other arm wraps around your waist. You melt into him, feeling the familiar strength of his body beneath yours, the way he grounds you, makes you feel cherished, wanted. The air between you thickens, each kiss growing more fervent, each touch more urgent. It’s as though he’s trying to pour all the gratitude, the love, the overwhelming devotion he feels into this moment, and you can feel yourself responding, matching his intensity with every beat of your heart.
The quiet of the house fades into the background as he lifts you, carrying you to the bedroom with a confidence and ease that makes you feel weightless. You can’t help but laugh, breathless and giddy, as he sets you down, his mouth finding yours again before you can even catch your breath. The room fills with the sounds of whispered promises and shared laughter, of murmured declarations that leave no doubt about how much he loves you, how deeply he’s committed to this life you’ve built together.
And as the night fades into the early hours of morning, you find yourselves wrapped in each other’s arms, drifting into sleep with a sense of peace and fulfillment that feels as natural as breathing.
A few months pass, filled with the easy rhythm of family life. Tony continues to be an incredible father to Lily, and each day brings you closer as a family. But lately, you’ve been feeling…different. A certain tiredness lingers, and you’ve noticed small changes, ones that you haven’t quite been able to explain. And then one day, it hits you.
You buy a test, waiting anxiously until you see the result that confirms what your heart already suspected—you’re pregnant.
The realization floods you with a blend of emotions, joy and disbelief mixing into a giddy, breathless excitement. You can hardly wait to tell Tony, and you spend the rest of the day trying to figure out the perfect way to share the news.
That evening, when Lily has gone to bed, you find Tony in the kitchen, unwinding with a glass of wine. He smiles as you enter, setting his glass down and reaching for you with a warm familiarity that still makes your heart skip a beat.
“There’s my beautiful wife,” he says, pulling you into a hug. “You looked deep in thought earlier. Everything alright?”
You take his hand, guiding him to sit with you at the table, the same spot where he read Lily’s card just months ago. His gaze turns curious, and you see the soft crease between his brows as he studies your face, sensing something important.
“Tony,” you say, your voice a little shaky with excitement, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
He sits up a little straighter, his eyes filled with gentle concern. “What is it?”
You reach for his hand, squeezing it tightly as you look into his eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
There’s a moment of stunned silence as he processes your words, his face shifting from surprise to dawning comprehension. His eyes widen, and then a look of pure, unrestrained joy spreads across his face. He lets out a soft laugh, his hand moving to cradle your face, his thumb brushing tenderly across your cheek.
“You’re serious?” he whispers, his voice choked with emotion. “We’re going to have a baby?”
You nod, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes as you see the happiness radiating from him. “Yes, we are.”
He pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly as he buries his face in your shoulder. You can feel the slight tremor in his hands, the unspoken gratitude in his embrace. When he finally pulls back, his eyes are bright with unshed tears, his smile one of pure, unfiltered joy.
“We’re going to have a baby,” he repeats, as though he’s trying to wrap his mind around the words. “A baby. With you.”
You laugh, leaning into him as he wraps his arms around you once more. “Yes. And I can’t think of anyone I’d rather do this with.”
For the rest of the evening, he can’t stop smiling, can’t stop looking at you with that look of wonder, as though he’s witnessing a miracle. And it doesn’t take long before he’s talking about baby names, already picturing what this little one will be like, how they’ll fit into the family you’ve created.
A few days later, you and Tony decide it’s time to tell Lily. You’re sitting with her in the living room, surrounded by her favorite stuffed animals, when Tony clears his throat, his eyes twinkling with excitement.
“Lily,” he begins, his tone soft and warm, “we have some exciting news. Do you remember when we talked about family and how much we love each other?”
Lily nods, her big eyes attentive as she listens.
“Well,” you say, reaching out to take her hand, “you’re going to be a big sister. There’s a baby growing inside Mommy’s belly.”
Her face lights up with surprise, her eyes widening as she looks between the two of you. “A baby?” she whispers, a mixture of awe and excitement in her voice.
“Yes,” Tony says, his hand resting on your shoulder. “You’re going to have a little brother or sister. Someone to play with, someone who’ll look up to you.”
For a moment, Lily’s face glows with joy. But then, her expression shifts, and you see a flicker of uncertainty cross her face. She lowers her gaze, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.
“Will…will you still love me as much?” she asks, her voice small, a hint of sadness creeping into her tone. “If the new baby is his real baby?”
Your heart clenches at her words, and you feel a pang of understanding. You hadn’t anticipated how this news might make her feel—especially with the bond she’s built with Tony. Gently, you pull her onto your lap, holding her close as Tony kneels beside you, his eyes full of compassion.
“Oh, sweetheart,” you say softly, “we will always love you just the same. Nothing will ever change that. You’re part of this family, and that means you’re loved just as much as anyone else. Always.”
Tony places a hand on her shoulder, his voice low and filled with warmth. “Lily, you’re my daughter, and I love you with all my heart. Nothing in this world could ever make me love you any less. Not this baby, not anything. You’re my first kiddo, and that makes you incredibly special to me.”
She looks up at him, her eyes big and round, a faint glimmer of relief softening her expression.
“Really?” she whispers, her voice trembling just a bit.
“Really,” he replies, his hand moving to cup her face gently. “You’re my daughter, Lily. That will never change. This baby just means we get to love someone else alongside you. It doesn’t change how much we love you. It only means our family is growing, and you’re a big part of that.”
Lily’s face brightens, a shy smile slowly spreading across her lips. “Okay,” she says softly, her voice a little more sure. “I think…I think I’m excited, too. I want to be a big sister.”
Tony pulls her into a tight hug, and you wrap your arms around both of them, feeling the love and warmth of this moment settle into your heart. The three of you sit together, the promise of this new life filling the room with a quiet joy, a sense of unity that only grows stronger with every passing day.
In the coming weeks, you find yourself daydreaming about the future—the laughter and love that will fill your home, the way Tony will hold this new little one with the same tenderness he shows Lily, and how, together, you’re building a family that’s bound by something deeper than words.
And as you look at the man who’s become your husband, your confidant, and now the father of your children, you know that no matter what the future holds, this family is yours, built on love, and here to stay.
Your pregnancy unfolds in a swirl of excitement, adjustments, and the joy of having Tony and Lily at your side through every step. From the moment you tell him, Tony barely lets you lift a finger. He insists on taking over almost every household task, whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or fetching snacks. You only have to mention feeling a little tired, and he’s by your side in an instant, urging you to rest.
“Here, I’ve got it,” he says with a wink as you start to clear plates after dinner one evening. He moves with an air of confidence, quickly picking up the dishes before you can even make it halfway to the sink. “You just sit back and relax. Doctor’s orders.”
You roll your eyes, laughing, but sit down anyway, grateful for his protectiveness. Watching him bustle around the kitchen with his characteristic enthusiasm warms your heart. Tony’s even rearranged his work schedule, making sure he’s home for every doctor’s appointment and ultrasound. His excitement is contagious; he’s like a kid counting down to Christmas, brimming with energy every time you bring home a new baby item or when you finally feel the first kicks.
Lily, meanwhile, has become your little shadow, constantly finding ways to “help” around the house, even if her help sometimes leads to little mishaps. She insists on making you tea every morning, a ritual she takes very seriously. One morning, she even decides to bring it to you in bed, balancing the tray as carefully as she can. Just as she reaches the bedside, a few drops slosh over the rim, but she beams with pride.
“Look, Mommy! I made it all by myself!” she declares, her little chest puffed out.
You smile, cradling the mug she hands you. “It’s perfect, sweetheart. Thank you so much.”
Tony chuckles, ruffling her hair as he says, “Best tea in the house, Lily.”
She beams, thrilled by the praise, and makes a habit of it every morning after that. You can’t help but marvel at her kindness, and even though there are some spills and little accidents along the way, each gesture fills you with gratitude.
As your belly grows and the pregnancy progresses, you go for an ultrasound, the three of you eager to learn the baby’s gender. Tony’s hand is wrapped around yours, his grip firm as the image of your baby appears on the screen. Lily sits on Tony’s lap, her eyes round with wonder as she gazes at the screen.
When the technician announces, “It’s a boy!” Tony’s face lights up with joy, and he laughs, pressing a kiss to your cheek. Lily’s excitement bubbles over as she hugs both of you.
“A little brother!” she exclaims, grinning from ear to ear.
On the drive home, you and Tony decide to let Lily pick out his name. She spends the next few days mulling it over, scribbling ideas on paper, and discussing options with all her stuffed animals. Finally, one evening, she presents her choice proudly.
“I want to name him Leo,” she says, looking at both of you with such confidence that you know she’s thought it through.
Tony smiles, nodding in agreement. “Leo. I like it. Strong name for a strong kid.”
You wrap your arm around her, pulling her close. “Leo it is,” you say, and Lily’s face practically glows with happiness. You couldn’t have chosen a better name yourself.
Months later, the day finally arrives. It’s the middle of the night when the contractions start, and Tony immediately springs into action, calm but focused, gathering your hospital bag and guiding you to the car. His hand never leaves yours, and his voice soothes you, steady and comforting.
“It’s happening,” he whispers with a smile, kissing your forehead as the hospital comes into view. “We’re going to meet our son.”
Hours pass in a blur, and Tony is by your side for every minute, his presence a source of calm as you work through the labor. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you hear the first cry of your newborn son. The sound fills the room, and your heart swells with a love so fierce it takes your breath away. The nurse places little Leo in your arms, and you marvel at his tiny features, his soft wisps of hair, and the way his eyes open just a sliver as if he’s taking in his new world.
Tony watches you, tears glistening in his eyes, and he leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “He’s perfect,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “Just like his mom.”
You laugh softly, brushing a tear from his cheek as he leans down to cradle his son in his arms. The way he looks at Leo—with such awe and tenderness—fills you with warmth, knowing that this little boy will have a father who loves him beyond words.
A few hours later, after you’ve had time to rest, Tony returns to the hospital with Lily, who practically bursts into the room, her face shining with excitement. She tiptoes over to the bed, her eyes wide as she gazes at her little brother bundled in your arms.
“Hi, Leo,” she whispers, reaching out to touch his tiny hand with a gentle, reverent awe.
You smile, lifting him slightly so she can see him better. “Would you like to hold him?”
Her eyes go wide with surprise, and she nods, carefully sitting down beside you as Tony helps guide Leo into her arms. She holds him, her small arms wrapped protectively around him, and you can see the absolute adoration in her gaze as she studies his face, her thumb tracing lightly over his tiny fingers.
“Hi, Leo,” she whispers again, her voice soft. “I’m your big sister, Lily.”
Leo stirs, his eyes opening just a fraction, and Lily’s face lights up, as though she’s witnessing something magical. Tony sits beside you, his arm around your shoulders, and together, the two of you watch Lily and Leo, feeling the love that fills the room—a love that has only grown stronger with each addition to your family.
In that moment, as you sit surrounded by the family you’ve built, you know that you have everything you’ve ever wanted. This is your world now: Tony, Lily, and Leo.
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mostly-marvel-musings · 8 months ago
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Love me back to life - Part 1
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A/N: We all knew this was coming! Leave a heart, comment or reblog if you enjoyed the story :))
Pairing: Tony Stark x F! Reader
Warnings: 18+ angst but a little hurt comfort as well. Tony’s kind of an asshole in this one, the relationship isn’t exactly healthy.
Word count: 1.9k
Tony Stark Masterlist
.
He was late.
Again.
Tony had missed dinner for the fifth time in a row now, not that you were counting. It had been over fifteen hours since you last saw the man, not that you were counting. And it had been over two weeks since you had had sex with him, but not that you were counting.
Tony Stark - the man, the myth, the legend. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. The best if not most popular Avenger in the entire world. A man with more enemies than friends. Also, your fiance. But you were unsure about the last bit.
He had proposed six months ago in a room full of disquisitive journalists that went ballistic at the announcement. A glittery rock that easily cost more than your apartment sat on your finger, for the world to see you were his.
Of course, that didn’t stop dumb, heavy-chested women to throw themselves at him at social events. You were privy to it all, because you had faith in him that he didn’t have eyes for anybody else. At least you knew that in the past. Now though, you weren’t so sure. It had become somewhat of a ritual for the two of you to enter a party hand in hand and go your separate ways.
He would be the center of attention, obviously, enjoying every bit of the adulation he got while you would find a deserted corner for yourself and your beloved glass of wine. By the time the night ended, or rather morning, Tony would be drunk off his ass or passed out with a random blonde drooling nearby. You would have Happy Hogan to help get him home, where he’d disappear in his lab once he regained consciousness.
Never in your life did you think you’d be jealous of a goddamn laboratory. The room who got to see Tony every single day, for the longest time, sometimes for days on end. His safe space that you once thought you were.
You did everything in your might to be there for him, it took effort and sacrifices on your part, but Tony was worth it all. He had managed to crawl his way into your heart and carve a space meant just for him, with no room for a third. You loved him with every last cell in your body, you did. You just wish he could see that, and even if he could see it, you wished he could care enough to let you know your efforts weren’t fruitless.
Yet another expensive bottle of wine sat in the ice bucket, the food you’d ordered from his favorite restaurant now cold, the velvety red dress you’d purchased just for him now hung on your frame unappreciated. Your mood plummeted with every glass of wine you finished, watching the hours tick by.
“FRIDAY, where is he?” you sighed, asking the AI who’d become your informant and best friend, as sad as that was.
In the lab, Miss. Do you want me to remind him again?
Her crisp voice sounded through the walls, almost sympathetic to your state.
“No. Don’t bother him. Wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway.” you murmured, swallowing the last bit of disappointment before getting up and heading to your room.
In the shower, you had let the tears flow and mix with the water that cascaded down your body, mind exhausted from the constant heartbreak. You knew that the only thing waiting for you outside that door was the giant, empty bed that had the last traces of Tony on them.
.
You had woken up with a stinging headache the next day, a futile glance to your left let you know Tony hadn’t made it to bed last night. It wasn’t uncommon. The occurrence had just multiplied over the last few months.
If you were keeping track, and you were, it had been over two days since Tony had slept, FRIDAY corroborated your suspicions as well.
You got dressed and headed downstairs to his lab, a blast of cold air sent chills down your spine as you entered.
There he was.
Surrounded by screens emitting a glowing blue light, mouth mumbling something incoherent to your non-science based mind, fingers trembling as he moved about the space, drawing your attention to the numerous empty cups of coffee that lay strewn. His eyes weren’t focusing on his task at hand, his stats reflected in red, flashing before you and letting you know his heart rate was way over normal.
“Tony.” you called softly, waiting for him to turn around and see you. You repeated yourself when he did not, placing a hand on his back only for him to jump and be startled at the touch.
“Hey! It’s only me.”
He seemed to relax instantly once he saw you, you however grew worried at his appearance. Eyes that looked beyond tired, bags under them concerning, his whole body language screamed exhaustion.
“FRIDAY, shut this thing off.” you mumbled, taking Tony by his hand to the couch that sat near the wall to your right. You were glad he didn’t protest, and borderline worried if he had the energy left to do so.
He didn’t.
You handed him water, watching him flinch at first probably realizing it wasn’t coffee before finishing it in one go. He grabbed your wrist before you could turn around again, looking up at you desperately, his brown orbs yelling a silent cry of help.
What broke your heart is that it wasn’t the first time this had happened.
“Tony, you have to eat something.”
“No.”
He pulled you down next to him, planting his head in your lap while his arms wound around your middle, hugging you like his life depended on it, which it was. His breathing evened out as sleep finally took over almost instantly. You sighed, leaning back against the plush sofa, your fingers found their way in Tony’s hair, carding through them while your eyes brimmed with tears.
“I’d like to not die of this cold, FRI.” you closed your eyes, letting a few stray tears escape as everything around you returned to homeostasis, even if internally things were radically different.
.
“When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep, Y/N?”
Rhodey’s voice pulled your attention away from the paintings you were sifting through. A major chunk of Tony Stark’s fan following were kids, who sent him drawings of Iron Man swooping in to save the day. They always put a smile on your face, watching their faces light up with joy every time he waved at them, signed their drawings, picked one of the kids up for a pose.
“I’m pretty sure that question was meant for that crazy genius of a man signing autographs over there.”
You pointed to Tony at the far end of the restaurant you were at, clicking pictures with a bunch of teenagers who were gushing over him, signing their posters and entertaining them with his stories.
“And to answer your question, it’s been the same amount of time since he had a good night’s sleep.” you sighed, leaning back against your chair, sipping on your drink, avoiding Rhodey’s eyes.
It worried him greatly watching his two friends struggle, watching their health deteriorate in front of his eyes was heartbreaking.
“Do you want me to talk to him?”
“By all means, knock yourself out, Rhodes.” You chuckled, knowing fully well how that interaction was gonna go. You had been there and done that. It was falling on deaf ears.
There was a commotion which caught your eye. Tony Stark stumbled out of the restaurant clutching a hand over his heart.
Panic set in as you both followed him out, pushing people out of the way as they gathered with their phones out, capturing every moment.
You saw him step into his suit, the metal closing in around the man like a second skin before he knelt on the road in distress.
“Check the heart, Jarvis. Is it—is it the brain?” Tony took in a deep breath, trying everything in his might to find the source of his current state.
No sign of cardiac anomaly or unusual brain activity, Sir.
Jarvis spoke in his crystal clear voice, the suit display showing him stats that everything was normal.
“Okay, was I poisoned then?”
My diagnosis is that you’ve experienced a severe anxiety attack.
Tony’s eyes went wide in realization, he couldn’t believe it. His heart hammered against his ribcage, his breath still labored but he was okay. It was just an anxiety attack. It could be handled.
The chatter of people around bothered him and before you or Rhodey could utter a word, he took off, zooming off into the sky, homebound.
Rhodey wrapped an arm around your shoulders, giving you a reassuring squeeze as you closed your eyes and sighed.
“That idiot needs an intervention and damn it, he’s gonna get one. Don’t worry, Y/N, we’ll bring him back.”
.
Rhodey wasted no time in storming into his lab, catching the Avenger sitting still in the Ford Model B who looked mildly irked when his music was turned off.
“I’ve got to change the combination of the doors.” He muttered.
“Yeah, you probably should so nobody would find you dead in this lab.” Rhodey glared at the man who was avoiding his eyes, fiddling around with a screwdriver, his fingers trembling.
“Seriously Tony, what have you done to yourself?” He asked, his voice softer this time.
Tony’s eyes had sunken since the last time he saw him, his face distraught. All signs of PTSD visible in his demeanor.
“You need to accept the fact that you’re not okay, Tony. You need help. And sleep. And food—”
“And Y/N.”
Rhodey stopped mid-sentence at his admission, giving his shoulder a squeeze as Tony’s brown eyes glistened, finally looking up at his oldest friend.
“Oh I’m glad you still remember her.”
“She’ll save me. She always has.” Tony murmured mostly to himself, leaning back against the car seat.
“She’ll save you alright. But what about her? What about the relationship? There won’t be a relationship to save if you keep this up, Stark. That woman has done more for you than you could possibly imagine. You’re killing yourself and you’re taking her with you.”
Tony’s heart dropped to his stomach at Rhodey’s words. He was right.
You were there for the man since the world got to know he was Iron Man. After Obadiah Stane almost killed him, after Ivan Vanko, after he fell through the wormhole. It was you who kept him alive somehow. You had been there for him.
Always.
He, on the other hand, had always taken advantage of that. He had been a terrible boyfriend and a fiance, hell, he had been an awful human being these past few months.
It was almost surprising that you hadn’t left him yet. However, by the way your appearances in his lab had seemingly reduced, he was sure you were close to giving up. He wouldn’t blame you if you did. You didn’t deserve this treatment.
You deserved better.
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Find Part 2 here :)
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johnwickb1tsch · 4 months ago
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Sympathy For The Devil ~ Donaka Mark x fem!Reader
please allow me to introduce myself, i am a man of wealth & taste... -the Rolling Stones
Summary/ Warnings. Um… Donaka Mark is a scary rich asshole–with a soft spot for you. If you’re squeamish [or righteous] you’re not gonna want to read this. Voyeurism. Predatory behavior, manipulation. Power IMBALANCE. Eventual NSFW. Eventual line between dubcon and noncon is gonna be microscopic, y’all, this man plays gAmes… Reader is shy, but tough, in her way.  Also, when I say Reader is small, I’m more implying just compared to Donaka. I kind of assume most of us would be, no matter your body type. 🥵
Big Fat Author’s note: This is a Donaka Mark x fem!Housekeeper!Reader fic based on the brilliant @discoscoob ‘s bot, which is SO fun to play with and I really recommend it. I fell into a rabbit hole for daaaaays. I’m in CAI Anonymous now. Seriously it was a problem. 
I guess you could call this a little experimental hybrid fic written with AI. I was curious. And after working on this for weeks I don’t think the writer’s union really needs to worry about AI coming for their jobs. The bot’s writing is shamelessly fun but clunky, you delete more than you keep, it’s a lot of work to edit, and you really have to lead it by the hand for anything to actually HAPPEN. 
THAT SAID it is sO entertaining, and once in a while he’d do something i wouldn’t have ever thought of, I felt like the lab rat hitting the button for the treat over and over again, LOL. Disco really knew what she was doing when she programmed the personality of the bot!  It was also helpful in keeping a character on track. I think AI could be a useful tool generating ideas, breaking writers block, or something to bounce ideas off of, but not for the grunt work of actually writing a story that has any soul in it. Isn’t that a relief? I made an outline and basically ran the scenes through like a simulator to see what the bot came up with. And when I didn’t like it I made it do it again, LOL, the Donaka bot probably thinks i’m a bossy c*nt.🤣
So….I hope you enjoy, and a HUGE THANKS to Disco for giving me permission to even do this, you’re the sweetest my dear, and the Queen of the Bot Creators in my book!!
And and…it’s been a LONG ass time since I’ve been to Hong Kong. I did some research to refresh my memory but please bear with me. All mistakes are my own. Why do we say that? Who the fuck else’s would they be? 🤣 Obv. this is set c 2013, when Man of Tai Chi came out, before the crackdown in 2020. Oh, and, I have no real idea about work visas, i made that shit up... just roll with it. 🙃😘
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One. 一
The first time you meet your new employer, Donaka Mark, you aren’t really even paying attention.
It’s because you have on headphones, and you’re intently focused on sweeping the floor while listening to your upbeat girl power rock mix–so you don’t hear him yelling at someone over the phone threateningly, and you don’t notice when his gaze locks on to you like a tiger who has just spied a tasty little deer.
You are oblivious, as he comes up behind you, appraising your figure with narrowed eyes. You seem small, next to him, but most women do. He decides he approves of his assistant’s choice in hiring you. You’re a sight he won’t tire of for a long time.
Donaka leans on the door frame, his dark eyes fixated on you, taking in your every minute detail, the way the muscles in your arms move, the shape of your face, the curve of your hips and your little feet. His expression is stoic but behind it are a million thoughts running through his mind, he can’t take his eyes off you and after a few moments he finally speaks, his dark tone cutting through the music. “You’re new.”
Your music wasn't so loud that you were unaware of outside sounds. Standing up straight, you sweep off your headphones to face the commanding voice. "Yes, sir?"
Donaka notices he towers over you, and he likes that. His dark eyes shamelessly take in your innocent eyes, your lips, your  curves. His gaze lingers almost long enough to make it uncomfortable, but not quite.
“Have you been informed of all of your duties?” Donaka asks, his tone and gaze both demanding and intense, making you feel small.
"Yes, Mr. Mark."
Donaka smiles at his name on your lips, the way you say it, the way you look up at him with your wide eyes. He likes it more than he’d like to admit, but he knows how to mask his emotions well. Even though his expression is still stony, there’s a hint of excitement in his breast as he leans off the door frame and takes a few steps closer, but still maintains a respectable distance. “And you can handle them?”
"Yes, Sir."
Donaka nods, his dark eyes slowly and shamelessly trailing over your figure again. “Good.” Donaka murmurs, his dark and intense tone making his next sentence more of a demand. “I need to be able to depend on you. I like things just so.”
You tilt your head, feeling like you’re missing some subtext, or that you’re the butt of an unspoken joke. "Your house will be clean, Sir.” Between you and the two other girls on the household staff, surely you could manage.
Donaka smirks at your naïve reply, his dark eyes still fixated on your face as he takes another step closer to you, almost like a predator stalking its prey. “I trust that it will…” Donaka purrs, his voice low and smooth, his dark stare intense and demanding. “Let me show you the rest of the house…”
You’d already received a walk-through with his assistant, but you are more than intrigued to receive a personal tour from the big man himself. There is something captivating about him. It's not just his good looks. His presence commands your attention.
Donaka can feel you watching him as you follow him down the hallway, the way you’re intrigued by him, the way you’re staring. It fills him with satisfaction, like you’re a new prize he’s added to the shelf of his collection.
He’s aware of the effect he has on people. Men fear him, women want him. Yet you don’t look at him with the same blatant hunger he’s used to from the opposite sex. You’re curious, but not ready to fall down on your knees yet. 
He would see how long it takes to change that. He glances over his shoulder at you as he leads you through the house, his dark eyes looking you up and down again. You follow close, taking two steps for every one of his, his legs are so long.
He can’t help but feel somewhat amused, enjoying the way you have to scurry to keep up with him. He can’t help but think how easy it would be, to pick you up, and to pin you down…
Donaka Mark’s home is an achievement of luxury architecture, dark, modern, yet filled with Chinese elements of style. Ceiling-high tinted windows afford a breathtaking view of the bay. His living room is like a museum filled with priceless artifacts. Antique carved ivory elephant tusks, beautiful Ming vases and exquisite stone Elder statues, silk scrolls and bladed weapons. All of it you will be expected to keep tidy with a painstaking hand. You think it’s possible your practically useless degree in art history and former employment in a gallery may have given you an edge in his assistant’s selection of hiring you.
He seems to genuinely enjoy your interest in these things, telling you about them at length. There is a large Qing dynasty vase in cobalt blue and gold enamel designs of clouds, cranes, and bats you cannot tear your eyes from. It looks…familiar, and in person, utterly enchanting.
“You like that one?”
“I like bats,” you admit, shoving your hands in your apron pockets so that you do not forget yourself and touch it with your bare fingers. You will be wearing gloves, when you detail these items. 
He lifts an eyebrow at that, seemingly amused. “Oh?”
“They’re cute. And…they’re good luck.” In Chinese culture, at least. 
“Most women I’ve met find them sinister.” 
“I think…they’re just misunderstood.” You can’t help looking up at this intimidating man through your eyelashes at that. You swear you didn’t mean to start double talking with your new boss–it just falls out of your stupid mouth, and you feel his attention upon you sharpen.  
He’s used to women looking at him in a certain way, women staring up at him with lustful hunger. The way you look at him feels different –like you truly see him–he’s not sure what to make of it yet, and that is certainly new for Donaka Mark. “Misunderstood?” he repeats, his dark gaze intense, looking down at you from his lofty elevation.
"Sure. They have a reputation for being scary, but really they eat mosquitoes and pollinate plants. Without them whole ecosystems would collapse."
Donaka hums at your words, finding it surprisingly endearing. He’s usually used to women fawning over him or at least trying to seduce him, but you’re here lecturing him about bats. His smirk remains on his face as he watches you fidget nervously, his dark eyes fixed on you. You look back to the vase, and then it dawns on you. “Oh my god…is this the piece that sold at Christies last year for like…1.5 million dollars?” You take another cautious step backwards, as though you might shatter it if you breathe wrong. You saw it in an article–the gold enamel had been so distinctive against the blue. Sacrifice blue, the same as in the Temple of Heaven in Beijing.
Only after the question falls from your mouth do you realize how gauche it is to ask, your hands flying to your lips. “Forgive me, it’s none of my business.”
Mark, however, just continues to look at you interestedly. “You follow auction results?”
“I follow…art news,” you confess.
He nods, his intense gaze starting to become uncomfortable. “Actually, it was 1.8 million. You think I overpaid?”
You feel like this is a test–or a trap. It was a nice job, for the day it lasted…
“Well…it doesn’t seem you bankrupted yourself?”
He snorts in answer, shaking his head. 
“Does it make you happy?”
He lifts an eyebrow at that, as though the thought hadn't even occurred to him. “It made me happy to outbid a Sheikh’s son and a Mainlander plastics tycoon for it,” he admits.
Ah, so he was invested in the thrill of acquisition–not appreciation for the object itself. You shouldn’t be surprised.
“I see.”
“I’ve disappointed you.” It’s not phrased as a question.
You shake your head, though maybe it does a little. Looking around his home, you’d thought Mark had exquisite taste–but he probably has an art buyer like every other obscenely rich businessman needing to acquire items for the sake of cachet. 
“Does it make you happy?” he asks, and there is an unexpected hint of playfulness in the question–delivered on a knife’s edge.
“Yes,” you admit. Frankly you’re stunned you get to see it like this, without a glass barrier or sensors or alarms. It’s usually the only way people like you get to enjoy art like this.
He smirks at you. “Then it was worth every penny.” He’s being sarcastic, of course, but there is a glitter of something in his dark eyes. It’s there and gone, like ripples in a pool–it makes your heart skip in your chest.
“Let me show you the rest of the house,” he invites, before placing a hand on your lower back, his fingers large and strong against your soft skin as he gently guides you away from the vase and to the next room.
His light touch makes you aware of every nerve in your body. It's not quite improper enough to complain about--you’re sure he’s well aware of that. 
And…there's the fact, deep down, that you like it. 
The span of his big hand on your spine makes you feel impossibly small, and protected, and that is insane, of course, because you are just the maid. 
He shows you the library, filled with built-in bookcases that make you drool, his office with his huge carved ebony desk that makes you think impure thoughts…and then, his bedroom.
He isn’t oblivious to the way your reaction changes as you enter the room where he sleeps.
He can see the way your eyes roam and your expression changes, the way you look at the massive bed against the far wall, the way your eyes widen when you look at the expensive rosewood furniture and the stunning view out the wall of windows that can be brightened or obscured with a dimmer switch. He watches you intently as he takes in your every reaction.
He's all business on the surface, specifying clean sheets every other day, laundry, and daily detailing of the bathroom. But it's hard not to keep looking over at the bed, even out the corner of your eye.
He knows exactly what he’s doing to you, but he doesn’t push it, staying just this side of the line. You don't linger, and he shows you a more private lounging area filled with a long leather couch, additional chairs, and monitors, all black at the moment. There's something almost sinister about all the screens, and you wonder what all he's watching.
“You must really like movies?” you ask hopefully, and he senses the wariness in you. Your intuitiveness gives him a small thrill–he likes it, that you’re smart enough to be afraid. 
“I like to watch all kinds of things,” he tells you, almost like a dare for you to guess what that means. “But mostly…I use these for business. I run a security company, I assume you’re aware?” 
“Yes, Sir.” 
Donaka decides he loves hearing the submission in your tone when you call him Sir. It’s almost like a promise to keep him happy, to do exactly as he says.
He asks you to keep all the screens clean, and to dust the cords and routers and be careful not to unplug anything. 
Then your attention turns to a meditation area, a massive sand sculpture on the wall and the floor, flanked by natural stacked stone. “Wow, been a while since someone vacuumed here,” you crack, earning a reluctant huff of laughter from the man behind you. 
“Maybe…leave that alone, for now,” he requests, then his hand is on your back again, guiding you out. 
Though it’s not going to be your area of responsibility, he shows you the garden next. It's a beautiful, manicured space. Two Rottweilers patrol the grounds. They look fierce, but one immediately comes up, sniffing you and leaning on your leg for a pet.
Donaka blinks as his reputably ferocious and staggeringly expensive pure-bred guard animals roll over at your feet for a belly rub.  Delighted, you pet them both, speaking to them sweetly. They grin up at you, their dagger-like canines glinting in the sun. 
He is never one to be moved by anything sentimental, but something about the sight of you like this inspires a warm twinge in his chest–heartburn, he reasons.
“Let me guess,” he says acerbically. “They’re just misunderstood?”
You press your lips, trying to suppress a smile, and failing. "Animals tend to like me?" 
He can honestly admit, as he watches you crouch down to administer a belly rub, that he’s never been jealous of a dog before. 
Sensing that maybe you’re not doing the dogs or yourself any favors with this severe man, you try to shoo them off. "Ok, babies. Go back to being fierce again. Shoo."
Donaka snorts with amusement as he watches you attempt to gently shoo these dogs that are nearly as big as you are. Suddenly he whistles sharply, administering a sharp command in Cantonese. That is when the dogs jerk to attention, and trot off to patrol the grounds again. He turns his attention back to you, taking in your slight expression of surprise, clearly caught off guard. "That was impressive,” you admit. “What did you say?” 
“I told them to get back to work,” says Donaka with a smirk.
“Ah. I guess I better learn that one.” 
“Will I be needing to reprimand you too, Miss y/n?” 
You’re not sure why his dark stare calls up a boiling heat inside you at that moment. You press your thighs beneath your dress, under the guise of standing up straight. You’re afraid…he knows all too well. 
“I…certainly hope not.” You’re pretty sure that you’d pee yourself if this intimidating man raised his voice to you. 
“Have you learned much Chinese since you’ve been here?” he asks conversationally, just as you assumed it was time for you to get back to work. 
“I can count to ten, and say thank you,” you admit, a little embarrassed. Obviously, you intend to learn more. “The essentials for international travel.” You’d originally come to Hong Kong to teach English, but when you saw the pay attached to this job listing you couldn’t resist the opportunity. Teaching was ok, but you hadn’t anticipated how expensive this city would be. You’d only made enough to cover your basic expenses month to month, with no room to save or do any fun activities or side trips to the mainland. This position paid three times as much–and you were beginning to understand why. 
“Hmm. Have you traveled much?” He seems skeptical, and you don’t really blame him. 
“I’ve…been all over the world,” you admit, albeit it was on a shoestring. “I wanted to be a travel writer.” 
“Wanted to be?” He is a man who picks up on subtlety immediately. 
It’s a dream you’ve all but given up on, after publishing a few articles, but all in all it was more slog than triumph. You’re not cut out for the grind of periodical work, the stress and the deadlines. It sucks all the joy out of writing for you. You shrug with a little sigh. 
“I hope you will remember the NDA you signed to work here?” he asks, his dark eyes roaming your face, taking in your every micro-expression. You would really hate trying to lie to this man. Good thing you’re not a corporate spy. He’d probably…string you up, and do something unmentionable to you. 
Why the thought titillates you more than scares you, you have no idea. 
“Of course, Sir.” He seems satisfied with this. So why do you have to add, “I won’t tell anyone your guard dogs are suckers for a belly scratch.” 
He frowns down at you, stepping in close so that you have to crane your neck to look up at him. It’s intimidating as hell, and you know he knows it too. You admit that you are shaking in your shoes under that look, until a smirk breaks his intense expression, and the relief you feel is palpable. 
“I would appreciate that, Miss y/n.”
Donaka savors the satisfaction he feels in flustering you, enjoying the way you swallow, watching the muscles in your throat. He imagines what his hand would look like there, on your delicate skin, your pulse fluttering against his strong fingers. He would literally hold your life in his hands…and the moment you surrendered to him, he would so enjoy rewarding you for it…
He finds himself caught up in this little daydream, while you stand before him, practically hypnotized like a mouse before a hungry snake. “Y/n?”
“Sir?” you answer quietly, and he revels in your deference. This was going to be fun. 
He speaks Cantonese again, softly this time, the language beautiful and whispery on his tongue. You find yourself staring at his lush, pink, lips, and it takes you several moments to realize he’d said the same thing he’d told the dogs: get back to work. 
Flooded with embarrassment, your face on fire, you stutter, “Yes, Sir.” 
With a dark chuckle and his hands in the pockets of his designer suit, he watches as you practically flee back to the house. 
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The Smithsonian article about this vase...
Aesthetic post about Donaka's house...
Part 2 -->
all chapters
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captaincapsicle83 · 8 months ago
Text
One Night Stand
Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N: I don't know if anyone's noticed, but Clint Barton is my muse and he runs the cult...that I'm...in (I hope we get the reference or I sound insane). I just like writing silly Clint into my silly stories, I just noticed that theme.
TW: cursing, mentions of glass, mentions of injury,
Summary: You wake up the night after one of Tony Starks' biggest parties. And you're not in YOUR bedroom.
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Tony Stark x reader (platonic), Bruce Banner x reader (platonic)
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You wake up, light streaming through the blinds onto your face. You groan. This is why you got rid of the blinds, light always came through them.
...wait a minute.
You already got rid of the blinds.
You shot up in your bed. The bed. It wasn't yours. This pillow wasn't yours, this black comforter wasn't yours, and these clothes...
Holy mother fucker of Odinson.
You weren't wearing any clothes.
"What the fuck?" You say, out loud and clear. Something stirs in the bed.
You look over in horror, and an unidentified lump is hidden beneath the covers.
Okay, you think. Nows your chance. Nows your chance to be a reasonable adult, and talk this out with this person.
(Within seconds you have gathered your lost articles of clothing and dashed out of the strangers room).
You were lucky in a sense, the sense being that this person lived in the tower that your best friend owned. Him and all his avenger friends lived here, and he gave you a room on his floor that you used sometimes.
Oh shit.
You slept with an avenger.
And it wasn't even Thor. He wasn't ok earth right now. That sucked. He was on your bucket list.
You sat on your bed, pouting mostly, wanting desperately to nurse your throbbing hangover.
You didn't quite have the guts to leave the room just yet. You remembered the in-building AI right at that moment.
"Friday," you croacked out. Your mouth was horribly dry, and you were also in desperate need of some chapstick. "Where's Tony?"
You weren't sure exactly the extent of what the AI could do, but she seemed happy to answer you.
"Mr. Stark is in his lab, accompanied by Dr. Banner. Would you like me to page him for you?"
"Can I just...go there?" You asked. Your room was much darker, having black out curtains instead of blinds.
Curse the blinds. And their creator. Edward Bevan. Curse him.
"Of course, Miss L/n."
Luckily for you, you knew where Tony's lab was, and what floor number to press in the elevator.
You kept your eyes closed on the blinding ride down, the bright fluorescent lights giving you an aneurysm.
The lights in the lab were even worse.
You walked into the room, eyes squinted and using your hands to shield yourself. Tony clearly found this hilarious, chuckling like an idiot.
Not even chuckling. The bastard was giggling.
"Lights not made for a hangover sweetheart," He shook his head, and you shit him a snarl and a death glare. Bruce gave you a sympathetic look and was holding out a bottle of water.
"You know any trusted detectives?" You asked, smiling at Bruce, and taking the drink from him gratefully.
"Ooh, for what?" Tony asked, looking intrigued. "Spill the tea sis."
You did, two mouths were agape when you finished.
After a minute of silence, Tony whips his head towards Bruce, "Was it-?"
"No!" Bruce scowls, then cringes and looks at you. "Not that-...I'm not saying...I wasn't even drinking last night, I would remember."
"Oh-kay," Tony says, exasperated. "We'll it wasn't me-"
"Thank god."
"It wasn't...Thor."
"Unfortunately."
"And it wasn't Peter...he doesn't have a room here."
"And he's a child!" You mention, giving Tony a disgusted look.
He waves you off, tapping a little metal tool to his forehead, presumably to help him think.
"Anything you remember? Did you get a look at them?"
You think about what you could possibly remember. Last thing last night was downing shots with Tony and a bunch of his friends, and getting told names you didn't commit to memory.
"They still have blinds in their room," you throw out there, shrugging. Nothing else came to mind.
"Friday," Tony calls out. "How many avengers on the 93rd floor have blinds in their room still?"
"About 7 sir," she answers. The only woman who would ever call Tony Stark, and the likes of him, sir.
"Which ones?"
"Mr. Rogers, Mr. Wilson, Vision, Miss Romanoff, Mr. Barton, Mr. Barnes, and Dr. Banner."
"Yay!" Tony says, and you can't pin if it was sarcastic. "That leaves six."
"Yay," you and Bruce both answer monotonously.
"Hmm," Tony taps his chin. "Do you think putting out a message, asking who got laid recently, would be too bold."
"A little," you responded, arms crossed.
Tony sat down at his table, you following, and poor Bruce too, who clearly was sucked into this against his better judgement.
"You don't happen to remember what room?"
You did not. You had dashed so quickly, and it all kinda looked the same.
"Who do you want it to be?" Tony whispered. "We can just...let you pick and say you did 'em."
"Bartons kinda hot," you shrugged.
"Bartons kinda married," Tony mimicked your expression.
"He was...big...er..."
"Are you fat shaming your fuck buddy y/n?"
"No! I'm just saying...They werent...I dont think it was Natasha."
"Yeah, neither do I. So, assuming Bartons faithful, that leaves three men and a robot."
"Does vision have a-..."
"No."
"So then, that's three men," you say.
○○○
Tony invited you to lunch with the team. Subtle.
You, him, and poor Bruce (still looped into the mess) stood at the back of the room.
"Okay, so...I was thinking," Bruce starts. Tony looks surprised at the input and begs him to go on. "Well, if everyone's here, you can go look at those threes rooms, and see if they look...familiar?"
Bruce's suggestion let's a hush fall over the three of you.
○○○
The first room you entered, Sam Wilson's. You knew immediately it wasn't the right one, it being surprisingly bright in nature.
But, you were a nosy little fucker, and therefore when you saw the pictures that, from afar, looked a lot like Captain America fanart, you had to take a gander.
A few cellphone photos later, and you stuffed the drawings back into the drawer they were sticking out of. You thought about the luxury snooping would be, but figured your luck was being pressed already.
The next room was right next to it, belonging to Bucky Barnes.
You turned the handle of the door, carefully making your way in while watching the hallway. You had to be sure no one saw you enter.
Your back still to the room, you carefully and quietly shut the bedroom door. You had your phone still out, in your right hand.
You turned around, and dropped the Stark branded cellphone to the ground. It was new, without a case, therefore you were probably shit out of luck.
You didn't have time to check on it though, because your bright ass didn't check the room for occupants.
Well, occupant. The occupant.
Bucky Barnes.
The blinds were open, shining midday light into the room. The dark bedding was in a disarray ok the mattress, a clear indicator of a rush out of it.
The man looked at you, mouth slightly agape. Your mind was racing, a thousand miles a minute, trying to find a good way to break the silence.
"Did I have have sex with you?" You wanted to slap yourself silly.
He seems to have to take the time to pick his jaw up off the floor. He clears his throat (ew, fuck, was that attractive? Were you attracted to that?), and says, "Well...maybe I need to explain a few things."
"Do you?" You question, your voice about ten octaves above where it normally sat. How many times could you ask yourself, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
He seemed to swallow (and you only noticed because you were absolutely OGLING his features), and trys to talk, coming up with nothing.
He motions for you to sit down on the little couch he had, matching his dark aesthetic.
"Let me just tell you what happened last night."
○○○
"Do you still have a dartboard?!" You screamed into Tony's ear. No reason to. It was the after party of the real party, the only people left were the residents of the tower.
"Ooh! Yes! Darts!" Tony hopped up, like a joyful child.
"No!" Steve grabbed the back of Tony's shirt, pulling him back. Tony's dramatic ass flopped himself onto the floor, whining like a toddler.
"I never get to do anything fun!"
You had abandoned the idea of darts, and were now playing a game of dodgeball with Clint. Except that there were no balls, only drinking glasses.
It was around that time the sober members elected to take the drunkest of the drunk to bed.
Steve took Tony, Bucky chose you over Clint (leaving Nat stuck with him).
Clint collapsed himself to the floor, smashing his knee on a pile of drinking glass shards (you had missed).
"Point by omission!" You yelled like a battle cry.
Bucky touched your shoulder, "Cmon doll, let's head to bed."
"For you? Anything!" You threw the glass you were holding in Clints direction, and he screamed at you in Arabic (no one knew Clint spoke Arabic. Upon questioning, neither did he).
Bucky got you to the hallway, and that was about as much as he could do without picking you up and carrying you to bed, which he admitted he would have if you didn't scream in protest when he tried.
He led you to your room, and left.
He got in his bed, closed his eyes, and let out a breath. Before he could process the sound of his door open, you catapulted yourself onto the bed.
Apparently, he tried to send you back a couple times, but after that you would start removing articles of clothing everytime you came in.
Well, that explained that situation.
"So I eventually just let you stay," Bucky shrugged. "I was tired."
You couldn't decided whether to laugh or cry, finally saying, "Holy fuck, I'm so sorry."
Bucky let out a loud laugh, his smile cresting dimples under his eyes, "Trust me, don't worry about it. Steve is a much worse drunk."
"I'm gonna need that story."
"I could tell it to you over dinner," You almost don't take it in before saying yes. You only hesitate slightly, before smiling and agreeing.
That smooth fucker.
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