#ahhhhh such good lines!
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Bond Forger appreciation post - aka my finished piece for the Starlight Anya Zine (2022)!
The endpage doodles were a collab between me and my little sister :)
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#zine stuff#spy x family#anya forger#bond forger#becky blackbell#sxf#doodles#whewwwww this is old#feels kind of weird to post it now but i had fun making it!#the project was rlly cute#my second ever zine <33#credit to my sister for drawing the doodles!#she did the lines i did the color#truly the collab of the century#art updates - i've been doing a lot of sketching recently#might just be burnout speaking but it feels good to focus on lines w/out worrying about colors#totally unrelated fun fact: my internship gave me my first strand of grey hair#don't get me wrong it was a great experience! but also stressful#speaking of stress school starts in a week ahhhhh#in conclusion stay silly stay sane
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doodles for my sanity
#im coping#duck scribbles#doodles#ahhhhh . if im gone after this dw about it midterms r just gonna be really ass and i missed drawing them#enstars#midoyuzu#yuzumido#also happy ghostic to everyone who celebrates o777 good luck ill try for one copy at least#did yuo guys know they changed her sprite from a regular grin to the blushing one for that one line in sports fes. why
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Thank you for the tag @takearisk-ao3! 💛
“We should fuck.”
Tagging @nuatthebeach @displayheartcode @wackus-bonkus-maximus @theroomofreq @whathefawkes @gryffindormischief @sybill-the-seer @secretkeeper13
Favorite Sentence
Thank you for the tag @indigo-scarf!
A little challenge: pick out your favourite sentence that you've written recently. One sentence. No context. Tag some friends.
"Harry, the Boy-Who-Won’t-Die, defied death again."
I'll tag @merlins-sequined-hotpants, @artemisia-black, @incalculablepower, @ashesandhackles, @evesaintyves, and @messrmoonyy
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...UH OH...
Just kidding as this is all very good stuff, Mechalor Anon! Can't draw it, because it's a lot, but I will drop some corresponding text/lore on you, based specifically on your "The HWC misguidedly brings Zero Three back in Planet Robobot" concept (with a touch of the sword/brush thing) because it did latch onto my brain!!
(This is the LAST major event I do in this doomed timeline though)(1)
[Planet Robobot] [Apologies AU "Snowflakes" Timeline] [Secret Boss Fight - "NULL v0.3"]
:Kirby enters the room: :There is no one there: :Suddenly, the whole building shakes: :A horrific scream, overlayed atop itself, is heard:
:A door opens and Susie rushes out: :It shuts behind her, then shakes with a thud: :Eyes downcast, she murmurs to herself:
Susie: "...What is that machine thinking...? Why would the Mother Computer...ask for something that awful to be...?"
:She finally sees Kirby is here and puts her business face back on:
Susie: "Ahem! You're back! And you've found our secret lab."
Susie: "Clearly, you don't appreciate the miraculous wonders of science and technology as much as some of us..."
:The door bangs again, interrupting her: :There is another piercing dual scream: :Susie flinches at the sound and begins shaking:
Susie: "...I can't do this anymore."
Susie: "Listen, think what you like about us being here, but I just need a little more time. I can't let anyone interrupt this!"
Susie: "My original plan was to distract you with our latest in wide-area suppression, fresh off the assembly line but..."
Susie: "...I can't go back in there... We excavated this dreadful THING out of your planet, so YOU handle it...!"
:The door behind her opens as she flees the scene: :Slowly, white sludge begins to spill out from the open door: :It rises into a burbling bubble with a single slit of a closed eye:
:The bubble then cracks right down the middle where the eye sits: :The split orb unfolds into two limp halves each with a smaller, half-lidded eye: :Inside each of the sphere halves one melted-looking half of two figures, a boy and a girl: :Each vaguely familiar figure has a single wing (one dark, one light) made of grasping fingers:
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[BOSS: NULL v0.3] - Pause Screen
Of all the biological data the Haltmann Works Company unearthed from this planet, the Mother Computer seemed especially interested in this. However, it found it could not fully analyze it to its satisfaction due to the "unknown bond" sustaining the creature's core. It would ultimately deem the project a failure.
[IE: Star Dream is trying to understand Zero for its own purposes but cannot and could never understand the deep "love" that ultimately brought about Zero Three; just like it could not understand Haltmann's love and would delete it]
[BOSS: NULL v0.3 EX] - Pause Screen
Though Susie always tried to follow the mother computer's directives faithfully, she deeply questioned this particular project. When the directive came to "use" the creature in spite of the unhappy children's souls inside, it strengthened her conviction that Star Dream had to be separated from her father.
[In EX form, the sibling-goo is dark matter black instead of snowflake white; Noir's wing is blood red instead of corruption purple; their eyes remain the same]
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NULL v0.3 plays out as a very unusual boss fight. It is somewhat timed, because v0.3 will damage itself with its "attacks," thrashing about. And if you leave it alone for long enough, it will kill itself. Or you can defeat it with regular copy abilities. Both of these lead to the "normal" boss fight ending, where v0.3 rips itself apart, both sides screaming as the white bodies melt away into nothing.
However, like in Super Star, this boss will provide you with special, unique battle-limited Copy Abilities if you inhale the right attacks from it: "Dark Sword" and "Light Painter."
Attacking the "swordsman" side of v0.3 with the Dark Sword ability will make it attack you more aggressively. However, if you try to turn Dark Sword ability on the "painter" side, you will be met with a vicious, un-blockable counterattack from the swordsman side that will knock the ability out of you and cause it to swap sides again.
If you try to use Light Painter on the swordsman side, it will cower away in the background, ...guiltily... keeping its distance, however you can lure the painter side closer to you and reduce its aggression levels again by attacking the painter side with Light Painter.
If you succeed in the task of defeating v0.3 with proper use of the two copy abilities, you are rewarded with a different end fight cutscene, where the white body coalesces into a giant sphere once more before melting away, revealing Adeleine and Noir, looking as they did before, who then dissipate peacefully into sparkles...
--
...Man I want to make video games so bad...
AHEM! Here's Mechalor Anon's uncropped asks that inspired this!
Thanks for the appreciation and glad you liked what I did with Zero Three! Sorry I couldn't include Bandee in this more. I really did dig the idea of him using the paintbrush like a spear though!
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PS: NO MORE HURTING THEM, OKAY? ^^ ; < message to myself
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(1) I say this again to myself because after the "good" ending, someone out there is going to suggest, "Well, if they were purified they could come back in Star Allies! Maybe each of them sporting white hair! They could be a swap character, like the Mage Sisters. It would make King Dedede happy..." which... okay, sure, maybe yes!
Bu~t I have a huge backlog of stuff INCLUDING other Apologies stuff to do so I'm still declaring Snowflakes to be a "failed Noir" timeline!
#Apologies AU#cw: body horror#cw: mild horror#Kirby#Susie Haltmann#thanks as always to thecrashman for helping me finish conceptualizing this - and for the 'good end' idea#(It was also his idea to have Noir go full-murder mode if you try to attack Adeleine and that was just... :chef's kiss:)#For my part I wanted to demonstrate that Susie may be morally gray but she would draw the line at supporting this#Also show that Star Dream really doesn't give a flip about anybody or their pain it only wants to fulfill its purpose#Also also when you said 'halfway' I got the vision of the clasped hands breaking apart into wings and it was too good#And I REALLY loved the idea of Kirby being able to (safely) wield the Dark Matter Blade and having to use it against Noir#A Dededetour in this route would be infinitely worse than a Meta Knightmare but we won't put Papa Dede through that#(And I doubt Kirby or MK would let him know)#Ahhhhh Dess loves inventing fictional boss fights~#Apologies Snowflakes AU
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being the most competent bitch around means waiting in line to purchase your Break Monster Energy™ and actively BEING ON YOUR BREAK but still having to organise and put out fires because NO ONE ELSE PRESENT CAN RUB THEIR TWO BRAINCELLS TOGETHER !!!!!!!
#AHHHHH I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO ON BREAK 15 MINUTES AGO#the customers were two very nice older ladies from a place with different opening times so they were in kind of a pickle#they just needed a BUNCH of cardboard boxes to pack their extremely full trolleys into because they hadn't planned for The Situation#so they wait in line but it's taking forever due to lottery fuckery. one of them approaches my most useless coworker who's at self checkout#she of course is like “i neither know nor care and also i will Not find out. go speak to Overwhelmed Lottery Lady”#and my bitchass waiting in line felt so bad i was like “hello good evening what's the issue”#and i started organising shit for them on the spot with my arms FULL of energy drinks and wine beverages#they're GETTING THEIR FUCKING BOXES. OR SO HELP ME GOD#they were very appreciative tho. i love helping people i am just fed up with some of my fucking coworkers#rayrambles
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did u get an email from amiami? i just paid for my minedai plushies :3
I WAS LITERALLY JUST ABOUT TO COME ON HERE TO SCREAM ABOUT IT AHHHH I DID DII DIDI ID DIDID ID
#snap chats#EEEEEEEEEEEE AHHHHH IM EXCITED !!!!!!!!! WAHOO YIPPEE !!!!!!!!#now i can finally stop saying 'i have to pay for those plushies still'....#i mean i still have to pay for aoki but thats months from now..... also the plushie was cheaper than i thought itd be#all things considered.. usually frm ebay i get one (1) plushie for the price i paid from amiami#very happy to think that just aoki'll be cheaper down the line.. hehe...#honestly i hope the plushies ship early i need an excuse to go back to my mom's#Why idk. just feel like i should. maybe to see my dog <3<3<3<3<3#i said i was sleeping so if you see me no you dont good night
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🐰🧡🐻
#in stark contrast to most of my personal posts this is about me being happy and gay#because i need to just get it out my system bc otherwise i am just going to grab a friend by the shoulders and scream (in joy) in their face#i am dating someone and its really really nice and sweet and cute and like nothing ive ever experienced before#and instead its like every tiny little dream about this kind of thing ive managed to hold onto despite every experience otherwise and ahhhh#the lack of focus on just sex or sex appeal is so nice its like there but as a side thing so its nice and i dont feel like an object#i feel like a human person with thoughts and feelings and interests outside if that and feel safe in that and feel safe that everything wont#just be discarded if i dont want to do that like i feel like boundaries and stuff are an option! without jeopardising everything#and el likes me as much as i like them and wants and sees and communicates that they want something long term and ahhhhhhhh#i just want to cry like holy shit this is everything ive ever wondered about like i have spent so long wondering what this feeling would#actually feel like and its so good and so indescribable and ahhhhhhh#waking up on monday night and seeing them in my bed and cuddling me was just so nice i felt wanted i felt... loved#this all seems so out of left field still i still feel like i just never saw it coming but its so welxome and nice and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#my pessimism is still there but its less loud now its more learning to accept this may not be perfect forever but letting me enjoy the now#crouch speaks#it feels so nice to not be scared and to feel secure and ahhh#also it made me laugh El remembered me hitting on then at the Dgoals release show making them blush lol#i only remember the time i hit on them later at the groles show so its funny i pretty much used the same line twice and it still worked#i cant wait to see them again i cant wait to hold hands in public again i cant wait to be idiots who keep blushing too hard and accidentally#kissing eachother on the nose instead of the mouth because we are stupid and gay and pathetic about it hahaha#just ahhhh i could gush forever how perfect the 2!!! dates weve been on were and the fact they want more and more and ahhhhh#this is so lame i know i just haven't experienced anything remotely like this before and its just... wild#like wow holy shit what on earth i have been so increasingly miserablely depressed and insecure from the shea stuff last year and then this#just absolutely removed all of that i actually feel like a human person again with value
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“yes, the power of love!”
“you stabbed me!”
god, so real
#solar opposites my best friend solar opposites <3#the entire stockiverse ep is so real#they are a family!!!#i love their dynamic developing as the seasons go by 🥺#terry and korvo aren’t just a pseudo married couple anymore and i love that for them#the scene where they’re cuddling in bed 🥺#i love these gay aliens so bad!!#alsooo the scene at the end of stockiverse where they kiss and#jesse and yums act grossed out imaooo#also also the ‘power of love’ line coming from korvo *inhales* ahhhhh!!!!!!#they really made those aliens gay good for them good for them!#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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(pg 97) You idiot baby boy that is not what you're supposed to do!
paused reading after this so idk how valid my concern for this is, i.e. if this is resolved on like the next page
Both poor babies need help and smothering!
🤣🤣🤣
All I can say is that these two are so good to each other and that I've loved watching their friendship unfold. Is this a good example of how strong their friendship is? .....probably not cause it's still early on, but the last two pages of chapter 13 is one of my favorite interactions between the two (besides the entirety of chapter 20 😌) because that whole scene is the official start of their undying friendship in my eyes🥰
The chapter 13 scene is also where the "I'm sorry almost being stabbed" line featured in the Characters Out of Context tag game comes from and it's even better with the whole context*
(*None of my MCs were actually stabbed in the making of chapter 13.....BUT! I can promise they stop being idiots and become utter dorks when it comes to the other😜)
But yes, Nyla and Xander deserve all the smothering and help and comfort💜 My poor babies are working through their emotions, a thing they've never had time to do/have never done before, and they are not coping well despite their witty one liners but their budding friendship will change that😄
#reader appreciation#bestie banter#it's like a slow burn dorks in love arc but ✨️platonic✨️#AHHHHH I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AND AM BEGGING YOU TO KEEP READING BECAUSE THE NEXT CHAPTER HAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE LINES#which was also featured in the characters out of context#my characters are such dorks#i love them though#Fire & Flight#Heirs of Tenebris trilogy#writeblr#my writing#bookblr#readblr#fantasy novel#spoilers: they become each other's emotional support and yeah i ship them. did i mean to ship them? no#but my keyboard had other ideas and honestly i'm good with it. they're dorks and i am here for it😎
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Anyways, What do you guys consider to have been the cringiest read in high school?
#I'll go first#For me it was Hush Hush#Idk if that fully counts tho#Bc i didn't even want to read it my friends forced it onto me#saying nooooo it's worth it!!1 This one line in the last book is so good ahhhhh pleaseeee read itttt#So i read it and it was not worth it#and it was really cringey lol
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DRAFT DAY TOMORROWW!!!!
#boink#acapppella tag#i have so much other stuff to do but im too excitedddd#im so excited to take newbies for the first time#i really hope the people we have lined up pref us!!!#it was so hard cutting ppl bc we honestly had lots of good auditions and most people were really lovely and nice#but ahhhhh im already so excited to rehearse with all the new people!!!!!!!!#i wanna get to knowww everyoneee#i really hope we get prefed a lot this year!!!
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#all of their songs are like those songs you listen to a million times for just one line#the rest of the song is good too but#'we even took some drugs inside the clubs'#AHHHHH#Spotify
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oh???? my goodness?????? i'm also nearly in tears that fic was SO LOVELY
i'm going to scream in the tags but omg i'm so glad this art led to something so cute 😭
step 1. overcome deeply-rooted psychological issues together step 2. trade silly pick-up lines back and forth into the sunset
#the ring!!!!!! that he made!!!! jesper making the ring!!!!!! i'm!!!!!!!!!!!#hello???????#that's so AHHHHH#each line was so perfectly horrible and delivered so perfectly adorably#i loved all the descriptions of them leaning into each other and being so affectionate#oh that was so good for my heart#wonderful#wesper#soc#read!!! it! read it
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big mouth, big brain (!youtuber x op81) ~ part 1
synopsis: in which case y/n, a video essayist pops up on oscar's youtube feed, and he falls in love with the way she speaks and tells stories
smau ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
profile | masterlist | next ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆
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yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, user1 and 119,102 others
yourusername: "bernie ecclestone, the f**king genius behind f1" is out now on youtube! hope you all enjoy this video <3
view comments:
user1: when queen drops an hour and half long video accompanied with sources and proper citations you KNOW its going to be a great day
user2: omg wait i'm so excited to watch this! no one ever talks about him in f1 video essays, so glad you made a video about him <3
liked by yourusername
user3: this video TEAAA omg
user4: HELLO GUYS?? are we even NOTICING that oscar is in the likes??!
user5: wait omg i just saw that, what the hell..
user6: @/yourusername GIRL ARE YOU SEEING THAT OSCAR LIKED AND IS LURKING.
yourusername: girl, i am trying my best to KEEP MY COMPOSURE
yourusername: it's not working
yourusername: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
oscarpiastri: wow, this video is so good! i enjoyed it a lot!!
yourusername: tysm oscar, this means a lot to me! glad you enjoyed it 🥰🫶🏻
username7: you are NOT fooling me girl, you are definitely shaking, crying, and screaming rn cuz he commented
username8: bro is THIRSTY he used three exclamation points
username9: get in line oscar, we all think y/n is hot too
username10: blessed mommy y/n 😍😍😍
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yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, user1 and 152,998 others
yourusername: guys, i got flown out
view comments:
yourusername: #hoes-in-different-area-codes
oscarpiastri: heyyy, i'm not a hoe 😒😞🙁
yourusername: that's right, you're my hoe
liked by oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri: 🫶🏻🫶🏻
user1: WHATTHEHELL HE FLEW HER OUT
user2: aight give me my man with money, where is he??
user3: idk guys, i kind of get the vibe that she's gold-digging him
user4: bffr. she makes plenty of money from vlogging video-essaying, she's been on youtube making vids since 2017
user5: yeah, be so fr. she was 13 then, and she's 20 now. i KNOW mawmaw is rich 🤑💲💸
user6: NAHHH he flew her out for a date that's so sweet I need that so bad
liked by yourusername and oscarpiastri
user7: oscar, while you are at it, could you please buy y/n the valentino garavani crystal-embellished shoulder-bag in red or blue <333
oscarpiastri: duly noted ✅
oscarpiastri: valentino✍🏻 bag ✍🏻🗒️
yourusername: NONONAOO PLS DO NOT DO THAT OSCAR
yourusername: AHHHHH NOOOO
user8: good lord the bag is 5K.
oscarpiastri: don't worry about it🤭🤑🫡
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author's note: ty guys for reading this fic! 😍🫶🏾
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1#oscar piastri#op81#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#op81 fic#op81 fluff#oscar#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri fanfic#!youtuber x op81#!youtube#youtube#youtuber#!youtuber
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I got to do a studio recording today for singing related stuff and it sounded so cool??? I've never done any sort of professional music stuff like this so this was a very cool experience!
#nat rambles#i guess i can technically tag it as this too#nat sings#for real though my voice sounded so clean and i was like 👁️👄👁️#highkey the entire time i was telling myself to not fuck up the notes lmfao#cause its a group song#and i was recording the soprano 2 and 1 lines which means slightly different harmonies in both sections#i did good though!#they ended up having the original soprano 1 girl come in a bit later to record that bit and im so glad she did#cause that last note was hella unstable for me#and she sounded so beautiful doing it and ahhhhh she's so talented#mio you're so talented#you have an angel's voice
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AHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHGHHGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
approach shift pt. nine
pairing: Peter Parker x f!reader (TASM/Andrew Garfield version) length: 4.3k rating: explicit 18+ warnings: Mentions of death, fingering, a quick wristy (lol)
Peter Parker is a weirdo. A hot, distracting, irritating weirdo. And you can’t afford distractions right now. So there’s only one thing to do.
a/n: Last full chapter but there will be an epilogue in the not-too-distant; I'll probably have more notes then. Thank you x
series masterlist
The back of your head is torturously itchy.
You try surreptitiously to press your knuckles to the spot, just to relieve the worst of it. The nurse sitting closest to you glances up at you from over the top of her monitor and guiltily, you clasp your hands back down into your lap.
It smells sour in here, like soft plums left to rot. Whichever industrial cleaner it is this hospital uses, it’s definitely not one anybody’s trying to market for domestic use. It’s probably cheap as fuck, you contemplate, your hand drifting back up towards your head.
“You can go in now,” a new nurse says beside you. You jerk your hand away. “He’s awake. I let him know you’ve been waiting.”
“Oh, thank you,” you say, unpeeling yourself from the plastic waiting room chair. “I won’t be very long. I just wanted to say hi.”
She gives you a mild, distracted okay-that’s-nice-whatever smile and disappears. You push open the door to the room she’d just exited and duck inside.
It smells far better in here. There’s a vase of opening lilies leaving red pollen-stains on the table in front of the window, and the lavender-powder smell of clean sheets. Doctor Brant is propped up in the bed, frowning hard at the tablet in his hands.
“I hope you aren’t working while you’re meant to be resting,” you say.
He tilts his head down to peer at you over his glasses. “Oh, no. It’s just sudoku. It’s good to see you.”
“You too, Doctor. How are you?”
He nods, and sets the tablet aside. “Well, they’ve finally taken me off the oxygen so I expect I’ll be allowed to leave soon. All things considered, a little smoke inhalation injury at my…advanced age could’ve been far worse.” His eyes glint a little bit. “Were you injured?”
You shake your head. “A concussion, but I’m fine. The. He. Um. You know. He got me out, before he went back for you.”
“You shouldn’t have stayed to look for me.”
You sit gingerly on the very edge of the chair next to the bed. “I thought. I didn’t think he’d made it to you in time. I thought you were both.” Your voice starts to sound weird, so you stop talking.
He folds his hands together over his chest. “It’s strange. I remember the first time I saw him. I didn’t understand what was happening. I thought it must have been a stunt, or an advertisement for something. Silly, really. And yet he’s saved Oscorp from itself more times than it deserved. After Connors and Dillon and that whole terrible disaster with young Harry. It’s too much. There’s no reason for anybody to endanger themselves in that place ever again.” He takes his glasses off and sets them beside the bed. “Which is why I’ve resigned.”
You stare at him. “You. What?”
He smiles at you; the expression a little indulgent. “All those years of work, gone. And for nothing. I’m sure you’ve already heard what happened?”
You have. It’s been all over the news the entire week. First the speculation: was it an attack? Was it political? Was it another disgruntled ex-employee? A competitor? And then, later, the worse, more boring truth: regular old corporate negligence. An undertrained technician who’d tried to prematurely purge a vac test chamber with concentrated oxygen. An alarm system two years overdue for maintenance. And floor upon floor of laboratories filled with dangerous substances, improperly stored.
Nobody else in your department was seriously hurt. But others weren’t so lucky.
“When I started with Norm, it was all about changing the world for the better. And in the end, we’ve helped nobody.” He shakes his head. “If you’ll forgive my language…Fuck Oscorp. I’m ready to start over.”
You grin at him, even though it feels a little watery. “I’m…really happy for you.” And you are. In the brief time you’ve worked under him, his passion has been obvious, but he’s always seemed so bogged down by the minutiae of red tape; appeasing a board of investors with no interest in the importance of his life’s work beyond its potential profitability.
But it also makes your already-uncertain future with the company even foggier. You’ll need to find someone else willing to offer you a similar graduate position, and you already know you won’t find anything else quite as specialised as the work he’s been doing.
He takes a sip from the glass of water beside his bed, then sits back with a sigh. “Publicly-funded research is a far less glamorous world than that of private enterprise. We’ll be relying primarily on grant funding and academic support. There won’t be any glass fountains or vertical gardens, I’m afraid.”
You nod sympathetically. “I can imagine. It’ll be a big change.” His eyebrows draw together at you. “I would understand if your answer is no.”
You blink. “My answer?” you say, like a genius.
“If so, I would, of course, write you a glowing recommendation. And I have plenty of contacts I could put you in touch with, if you’d prefer that.”
Holy shit. Is he…? “Hold on. Are you offering me a position with you?”
“Well, yes.”
He grunts as you dart in and hug him. “Oh! Yes! I mean, of course! I would love to. Thank you so much. You won’t regret this.”
“Uh.”
You lean back as he smooths his blankets down. “Sorry,” you say, a little sheepish. “That was unprofessional.”
He tries to look stern, but it’s unconvincing. “Well, yes,” he says again. “But I’ll choose to ignore it just this once.”
You stop by to see Bear on your way home. The roller doors in the alley beside the grimy little theatre are propped open so you can see all the half-painted set pieces inside, and there’s a bunch of people dressed all in black gathered around smoking.
“Are you gonna be home tonight?” you ask, watching her inhale the deli sandwich you’d brought after correctly guessing she hadn’t stopped rehearsing long enough for lunch.
“I can be if you want,” she says, her mouth full of half-chewed food. “But I was kind of planning on staying at a friend’s.”
You press your knuckles absently against the back of your head and leer at her. “Would this friend happen to be the same person who wanted you to move in after one salad date?”
“If you don’t stop scratching your stitches I’m calling the hospital and narcing to your doctor. And yes.”
You make a face. “I’m not even touching them!”
She stuffs the rest of the sandwich in her mouth and wipes her hands on her jeans. “I’m seriously cool not to go, though. It’s totally fine.”
She’s barely left you alone since you got back from the emergency room, even setting alarms and checking up on you throughout the first couple of nights. You know for a fact she’s had to cancel other plans for you—again. You shake your head. “No, go. I kind of want some alone time anyway.”
It’s another cold, bright afternoon. You walk into the feet of your shadow and spread your fingers beside your body as your arms move, watching them elongating out on the pavement in front of you, lost in thought. You’ve been lost in thought a lot, lately.
You’re just past the end of your block when you catch sight of the figure sitting on the stairs outside your building. Long legs in faded jeans are stretched out and crossed over at the ankles, and there’s duct tape around the toe of one sneaker. You slow to a halt on the sidewalk. A woman behind you huffs with irritation, veering around you, a giant paper grocery bag clutched in her arms.
He looks up from his cracked phone screen as you draw level with your door. His hair is as chaotic as ever, stuck up in every direction, except for at the nape of his neck, where it curls gently around in little flicks. He looks tired. He’s always looked tired, the whole time you’ve known him, but you notice it differently now. Like the holes in his jeans, and the bruise on his jaw, and the angry-sore-looking blisters on his knuckles.
He smiles a little, jerking you out of your silent staring. “Hi. Sorry. I didn’t wanna just show up unannounced. I’ve been trying to call, but,” he holds his phone up, and you shake your head.
“My phone was—”
“Yeah, I figured.”
The wind lifts the edge of your scarf and shivers under the neck of your coat. There’s something sweet in the air; like cinnamon sugar, maybe someone baking from one of the open windows overhead. “Do you want to come inside?”
His expression is soft as he considers you, looking up through his lashes. “Okay.”
Neither of you speak on the trip upstairs. Your hand accidentally brushes his as you reach out for the elevator buttons, and you both pull away, as awkward and over-polite as strangers.
He stands a respectful distance back as you open your door, and you lead him inside, waving your hand vaguely toward the sofa. “Do you want a drink?”
He folds himself into the seat nearest the window, hunching over and shoving his hands between his knees. A cold drift of sun touches his jaw. “Um, no thanks, it’s cool.”
You sit down opposite him, folding your hands across your lap like you’re about to get a class picture taken.
He chews his lip, runs his thumbs over his burned hands. Outside, a car horn beeps. “It’s not because I didn’t trust you,” he starts. “If you’re wondering. I don’t want you thinking that’s the reason.”
“It’s okay,” you say. “You don’t need to explain.”
“I just want you to know—”
“I know.” You try to smile at him, and it feels a little watery. “I get it. I know why you couldn’t tell me.”
His brows bend together just enough to mark out a pained line. “I’m sorry.”
You shake your head. “Really. Don’t be.”
It falls silent in your living room. The little clay pinch pot in the centre of the coffee table Bear had brought home from the artists’ market watches you both watching one another; soft-skinned and tender as nervous newborn things.
“You might die doing this,” you finally point out. “One day. All those times you’ve been hurt. You might��not come home.”
He nods at the floor. “Which is why I couldn’t really ask you to, you know. Waste your time with—” he waves his hands vaguely back and forth between your bodies. “It’s not worth it. And, like, trust me, I would never, ever want to drag you into any of the shit I’m involved with. I didn’t mean to fuck you around so long, knowing you wouldn’t...” He looks back at you, his dark eyes soft. “It was just. The happiest I’ve been in a really long time. I couldn’t stop myself. I’m sorry. It was shitty of me. Selfish.”
You stare at him for a few seconds in stunned disbelief. Then you laugh. You don’t mean to, and his head jerks back, startled. “Are you serious?” you manage.
His eyes are huge. “Uh. Yeah?”
You laugh again. It sounds a little manic. “You’re unbelievable.”
He flushes. “Could you maybe quit laughing at me when I’m trying to—”
“Peter. You saved my fucking life. Twice. Even after I was a total asshole to you. You saved me.”
He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Yeah, look, I don’t want you to feel weird about that. Like, it’s totally, one-hundred-percent not a big deal and I never want anybody to feel like—”
“You help people. Strangers. Every day. For nothing. And they aren’t even grateful. The things people write about you.” He hasn’t moved, and you realise you’re talking louder than you need to, considering he’s right in front of you. “You’re the least selfish person I’ve ever met,” you tell him, emphatic, needing him to get it. “You’re a good person, Peter. I’m so sorry I didn’t see that before.” Your voice breaks a little and it’s embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as the fact that your vision has gone blurry and your cheeks feel suddenly too hot.
You stop and breathe for a few moments, willing yourself not to cry. He doesn’t say anything, just studies the edge of the rug as though he’s pretending not to notice, and you’re grateful.
Then, quietly, he takes a breath. “I was going to tell you. Before the fire. I saw May, and she told me she saw you, and that you’d talked, and. I wanted to explain everything.”
You remember the way May had looked that day in the park; her small, sad mouth, and the way she’d spoken slowly like she was choosing each word carefully. “Does she know?”
Peter half-shrugs. “We’ve never talked about it. But, like, I know she knows. And she knows I know she does.” He gives you a little smile. “It’s easier if we both keep pretending we don’t, though.”
“Does anyone else?”
His smile turns tight. “I guess not. Not really.”
“So you’ve been doing this all on your own? The whole time? How?”
He runs his hand back through his hair. “Yeah. Well, I guess I’m pretty good with DIY now, you know? I wasn’t always. I had to learn. Shit went wrong a lot in the beginning. Shit still goes wrong a lot.”
You lean in a little, curling into the cushions. “What’s the hardest part?”
You’re expecting him to say the fear of discovery, or the isolation, or the sheer physical exhaustion. But he wrinkles his nose. “God. The sewing. It’s so hard. And it’s constant. I swear I pop a different seam every day.” His face goes blank for a moment and he looks at you as though a brand new thought has just occurred to him for the first time. “It’s actually really nice. Getting to talk about this.”
“Am I allowed to ask about the outfit?”
He slaps his hands over his face. “You are absolutely fucking not allowed to ask about the outfit.”
Your mouth drops open in outrage. “I wasn’t gonna laugh! I just want to know why—”
“Look, I was going for, like, a velodrome thing. Like for speed and better flexibility and less wind-resistance and then like, anonymity as well, obviously, and originally—”
“What about the, uh, pattern?”
“Yeah, okay, okay, it seemed cool at the time! I was fifteen!”
The thought of Peter as a child, alone, in danger, no doubt even ganglier and nerdier than he is now, sends a fresh pang of sadness through you. You try not to let it show. “Do you eat the webs?”
He stares like you’ve just asked if he’d like to swap heads with you. “What?”
“Certain types of spiders go back and eat their webs after they’re done with them. Like, to replenish the protein they expended making them. Do you ever eat yours?”
The expression on his face is the funniest thing you’ve ever seen. “Uh, no. It’s inorganic. Like, it’s a, like essentially a nylon polymer composite. It’s not edible. I mean, I’ve never tried, but it’s designed to dissolve after a few hours, so I guess if you did really want to eat it, it wouldn’t hurt you…” He trails off, sheepish, looking at you sideways. “You’re fucking with me.”
“Yeah,” you say, unable to stifle your smile any longer.
He grins and ducks his head. He hasn’t shaved today, you note; there’s a little bit of stubble along his jawline.
Your chest hurts. Seeing him, being close to him, just like before. It pulls open the ache of missing him, turning it from a bruise into a wound. You know you shouldn’t. You tell yourself not to. But you do it anyway.
“I miss you.” Your voice is barely louder than a whisper.
He looks so fucking sad. His eyes are huge and pained and so close, and then they dart down to your lips, and you see it; the precise split-second the urge hits him, then the one after as he fights it, and your heart sinks and you’re about to lean back but then his mouth is on yours and it’s soft and it’s warm and unbearably gentle as his hands sweep up to the base of your neck.
It’s not the best kiss you’ve ever had.
You’re twisted uncomfortably to face him. Your hands lay shocked in your lap, and you’re pretty sure he can hear you attempting not to sniffle too much with your breathing, and you’re so busy worrying about it that you forget to open up to him; his tongue touching the edge of your lips. His fingertips brush the stitches at the back of your head and you flinch, pulling away.
“Oh, shit, sorry, I’m sorry,” he says, visibly mortified.
“It’s okay,” you say. “Didn’t hurt. It’s just sensitive.”
“For kissing you,” he clarifies. “I know we’re not, like…you know. Anymore.”
That hurts. You shake your head. “We could be. We could try.”
“I can’t ask you—"
“No. Don’t do that. What do you want?”
He exhales through his nose and a tiny, pained sound escapes with it. “It’s not that easy—“
“It is. It is that easy. What do you want?”
“You have no idea,” he says, suddenly. “God. You have no fucking idea how bad I want you. I want this. You’re the only thing I. Fuck.” He knuckles at his eyes, frustrated. “You just have no idea how bad this could go.”
“I do,” you tell him, gently. “I know exactly how bad it could go. And I’m sorry, Peter. I’m so sorry that happened. It’s so, so fucked up that that happened and I’m so sorry, and I know nothing I can say will ever make any of it any less fucked up, but fucked up things happen. They happen all the time for normal people, too. And fucked up things are going to keep happening and it’s inevitable and it’s part of being alive and that’s why we just need to take that risk every day, and choose to—to try to just be happy in as many stupid fucking hopeless ways as we can anyway, because we deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy.”
He’s staring at you like he wants to believe you. Like he wants to cry. “You need to know,” he says, reaching his hand out, pulling it back. “I can’t promise you this’ll be okay. If you still wanted…I would try. I would try so, so hard for you. Harder than I’ve ever tried at anything. But I—I still just have no way of knowing that it’ll be okay.“
You smile at him, shaky and sure. “That’s any relationship, Parker.”
This time when he kisses you, you’re ready. Your mouth opens eagerly under his, catching the faint metal-salt of his skin, the dryness where his lips are ever-so-slightly windburnt.
All the breath leaves your body in a rush. You shove your hands up through his hair, lifting up onto your knees and sliding across his lap until you’re straddling him on the couch.
He tilts his head back to work his tongue into your mouth, one of his hands sliding up underneath your shirt to find the edges of your bra, and it’s awkward and clumsy and you’re both breathing hard by the time he manages to get your jeans unzipped and his hand cramped into your underwear.
“Holy shit,” you gasp, half-dizzy from kissing without pause. You almost bite him when his fingers find your clit. “Can you—yeah, like that, oh, my God—"
“Hold on, it’d be better if, let me…” he murmurs, frustrated, and you let out what could only be described as a yelp as he lifts your entire weight up to easily shove your jeans and underwear the rest of the way off your legs before settling you back down over his lap.
You’re stuck between trying to grind down against the front of his jeans and trying to give him enough space to work his hand back between your legs, ultimately deciding on the latter as he finds your clit again, this time his attentions unhampered by clothing.
His body hasn’t forgotten yours. It only takes a few moments of searching before he has you melting into the palm of his hand; your bones soft and hot inside you as you roll your eyes closed. It’s easy with him, just like before, but better.
You’re almost close when he eases two fingers inside you, and that’s easy too, so easy, the way you give for him. Your forehead rests against his as your lips come apart; too focused for kissing anymore.
“I missed you,” he breathes, working his wrist. “God, I missed you. I missed you so much.”
You flex your thighs as you rock with the movement of his hand, and that’s when you need to touch him, urgently. It takes a little repositioning before you manage to open his jeans and ease his cock out, wrapping your fingers loosely around him.
You feel him tense and shudder as you stroke him, too slow to really get him anywhere, too lost in the way his long, firm fingers curl inside you.
He noses along your jaw, mouthing lazily at your damp skin, his eyes closed, and then he’s there, right where you need him, and you’re clenching and biting down on the sounds trying to escape as you come apart sudden and hard around him.
You’re still loose-limbed and shaky when he pulls his slick fingers free, gently moving your hand out of the way to grasp himself instead. You feel a little guilty; you’d almost forgotten about him straining in front of you, but he doesn’t seem to care as he jerks himself quick and short in his fist. His other hand cups the swell of your ass as he huffs hot breath into your hair, your neck, coming sudden across the inside of your thigh.
You slump your weight against him.
Neither of you speak for a while. Your hand is curled between your bodies, trapped where it’s warm and you can feel his heart slowing in his chest. He runs his hand absently from your hip to your thigh, then back again.
“Peter,” you murmur.
“Mmm.”
“You do need to promise me one thing, though.”
He moves, just enough that he can look up at you. His cheeks are flushed. “What?”
“We can never. And I mean never. Tell Bear we fucked on her couch.”
His eyes widen in horror. “Oh, my God. She already hates me.”
“I know. But it’s okay, because we’re not gonna tell her.”
“I just don’t know if I can keep that secret; I’m not good at subterfuge, y’know, I’m just not that kinda guy—"
“Yeah, yeah, okay—"
“—and you should see me under pressure; I fold like origami—"
You kiss him again, just to shut him up, and feel his lips curling up against yours.
Your thighs feel sticky and gross, and you’re starting to get cold, and when you get up you nearly fall over from the cramp in your leg from sitting so awkwardly, but you’re too happy to care in the slightest.
You stand together in the bathroom, cleaning each other up. Every time his eyes meet yours in the mirror you both smile again, giggling and getting in each other’s way, like idiots.
It takes twice as long as it should to get back out to the couch, and you’re hoping he’ll curl up with you again but then you catch him glancing toward the window. “You need to go,” you say. It’s not really a question.
He hedges. “I kind of do, but…”
You offer him a little smile. “It’s okay. Go.”
He nods. You walk him to the door, where he pauses. He chews at his thumbnail, looking at you sideways again from under his eyelashes.
You watch him for a few seconds, waiting. “What?” you finally say.
He presses his lips together, runs his hand through his hair. “So. It’s probably, like, kind of weird. To ask. At this…uh, juncture.”
He’s nervous, you realise. It’s excruciatingly endearing. You nudge him. “I feel like weird’s kind of our thing.”
He grins. “Yeah. I guess. So. I was gonna ask if you’d like to go out. For dinner. Friday night.”
There’s absolutely no way to prevent the smile slowly pulling at your mouth. “Peter. Are you asking me on a date?”
He laughs, a little self-conscious huff. “Uh, yeah. Like. I mean, I wanted to way sooner. But. I guess I wanna try doing things properly this time. If you want.”
You can think of a thousand different things to say, but most of them are embarrassing, so you settle for keeping it simple. “Yes. Fuck yes. Obviously.”
He blinks. “Oh, okay, awesome, holy shit. Okay. Should we…? I don’t have your new number.”
“Oh, yeah, I need to get yours again too.” You pull your phone out and make a new contact before handing it to him.
He stares at your screen for a second, then he snorts. “You have me in your phone as ‘p.p.’?”
You wrinkle your nose at him. “Why? What do you have me as?”
He laughs again, quiet, shaking his head. “Doesn’t matter.” He hands your phone back. He takes a few steps out the door, then he sticks his hands in his pockets. “So. I’ll see you?”
“You will,” you tell him, watching the way his jaw juts crookedly when he smiles.
He’s halfway to the elevator, walking backwards, his hands still in his pockets when he calls back to you. “Friday, Miss Jersey.”
You laugh. “Quit disturbing my neighbours.”
You stay there long after he’s gone, leaning against your doorframe, smiling to yourself, aching with stupid, giddy affection.
#LIKE. I JUST. AHHHHH!!!!!!!#im so so so obsessed with the way you make the characters SO SO SO HUMAN AND IMPERFECT AND REAL!! this just is written so REAL!!!#AND SO BEAUTIFULLY!! the fucking pinch pot watching tender skin newborns line!! i just like!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!#god i’m gonna be so sad when this series is over thank u so so so so so much for taking the time to write this FOR FREE?!?!?!!!!#i would say came for peter stayed for bear but u made peter feel so real and human and i really agree this is how he would be!! just ahhh#fucking hell. i just love this series and i love you and i can’t thank u enough for doing this#like taking the time to write this is so crazy like ur just AHHHHH SO GOOD!! so so good!!!#all this little details about characters are just phenomenal.#and the fact i’m still thinking about bears wigs lined up in the bathroom and now her pinch pot. just. like absolutely speaks to ur insane#skill for bringing people TO LIFE!!!!! more alive than most movies do bro omfg#and still thinking abt peters one set of cutlery in the sink and the fucking. duct taped shoe i just AHHHHHH!!! u r once in a lifetime#i fucking love u i love this series i’m just AHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHG!!! 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
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