#ahhhh idk I just wish them the best

[grl-gvng]

i am so enamoured by katseye. they are insanely talented and soooo hilarious my face hurts from laughing whenever I watch their content. i think it's such a shame that they're under hybe

[pinksikhewei]

A blue blanket and a gentle guide back to yourself.

Spencer wasn’t exactly sure how much time he’d wasted trying to work himself down from a meltdown, but it wasn’t working and there was just never enough time and he just wasn’t ever good enough anymore.

“I’m not good enough,” he repeated like a mantra.

Word count: ~2300

Content: NO reader, very much centered around Spencer being autistic, mention of him stabbing himself lowkey, angst/comfort, idk what to put here bro im used to Ao3 tags 😭 basically Spencer not coping with having so much freedom after prison but it’s basically just him having a meltdown, JJ and Garcia being real ones, and I guess if you really look close Jeid is there but that wasn’t my intention so it’s up for interpretation💕

A/n: ahhhh this is my first fic on here, and also my first Spencer fic so this is exciting :))) if you see anything misspelled don’t look at me 💀 it feels a little disorganized but that’s just cos I haven’t written in MONTHS for anything other than my novel 😭 ALSO DISREGARD THE TITLE I LITERALLY PONDERED ON IT FOR LJKE THREE HOURS AND COILD NOT COME IP WITH ONE BUT THAYS OKAY

Sometimes, Spencer surprised himself by how odd he could be. Even more so by the twists and turns his life gave him on top of that. Sometimes he wished he could take a good, long look at the woven blanket that was his soul, his personality, his qualities, and decide exactly what to rip out.

But, he supposed that a blanket needed all its threads to keep from unraveling. So when it fell down to smother him, he learned to crawl his way out.

He’d been stronger than he expected himself to be in a lot of situations in his hectic life. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, he knew deep down he had courage. Sometimes it was simply a little difficult to find.

He’d found a lot of it while in prison, reaching deep into the dark depths of his soul to grasp onto whatever he could muster. Did that mean stabbing himself to stay protected, losing his best chance for survival in an attempt to make another one? Yes. Did that mean spending sleepless nights wondering if he was really going to get out? Too many times, yes. Did he let that kill him? Almost.

One thing Spencer Reid hated, in truly the most private ways, was change; loss of routine, loss of structure. When he found himself trapped in a cage with people he didn’t know and trust, he lost all of those values that often held him together just as his team did.

He lost his team those days, too.

He lost himself.

Luckily and not so luckily, it didn’t take long to find new routines, built upon him by ruthless guards and rules and blood-boiled inmates with pasts and inevitable futures rougher than his own. He was embarrassingly easy to mold into the rough shape of submission, going where they told him when they told him.

Spencer swore up and down some of those cold nights that if he could have killed himself, he probably would have, but ultimately his team and the promise of freedom were what kept him alive.

When he was finally released, that same team was the one to coax Reid back to who he was; however, none of them expected the damage that would’ve been done in those long six months.

It was almost as if his release did more bad than the initial imprisonment. He couldn’t focus, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t do things himself.

Independence was always important to him— his team knew that— but they couldn’t ignore the way he stood still in front of doors waiting for them to open, the way he sometimes forgot his own bedroom doors were unlocked, the way he was overwhelmed by the amount of choice he had so suddenly. They couldn’t ignore the way he got overloaded so much easier, meltdowns coming much quicker than even JJ had seen in their decades working together.

Everything was just so much for Spencer. Too much. And who did he turn to? Anyone he could carve gentle hands into; anyone he hoped could fill the Spencer-shaped hole in his heart. Of course, there were canyons of those he couldn’t have that embedded in his gut, too; ravines with little cabins where Gideon resided and soccer fields for Hotch to coach on and homes for Derek to make his own with little red doors.

He was grasping at straws trying to fix himself, and that was how Spencer had ended up in his current situation. Pacing the length of the round table room when he should have been getting ready to leave for a case.

But that was just it, they had just closed a case— an especially grueling one at that. It had been less than an hour before Emily had announced with a heavy sigh that they needed to depart from home again. By god, Spencer had never hated her more for saying ‘wheels up in 30’ when it usually made him surge with curious anticipation.

He wasn’t exactly sure how much time he’d wasted trying to work himself down from a meltdown, but it wasn’t working and there was just never enough time and he just wasn’t ever good enough anymore.

“I’m not good enough,” he repeated like a mantra. “Too much; calm down before you bother them.”

JJ, who had been making a last round to grab a cup of coffee before they left, was quick to notice him through the humbling glass wall of the room. Her face turned to one of pain, and she turned on her heel to find Emily.

Once she finally ran into the woman, her sincere voice struck Emily with surprise.

“Spence can’t go on this case. At least not in the field. He’s on the edge of a meltdown and I’m sure the second I go near him he’s going to fall off that edge. I’m gonna make him stay with Garcia.”

Emily nodded, flashing that face of concern JJ had seen many times before, saying, “Don’t you think that’ll set him off more? The change in plans.”

“I think it already has. He knows he’s not going to get through his case without a meltdown, I think he’ll be a little less upset about things this time around.”

“Alright, go,” Emily urged, staring softly into the round table room where she too saw Spencer’s frazzled state.

JJ all but stumbled into Garcia’s cave, tearing her precious blanket from her go bag and snagging a few more from Garcia’s hoard of them in the little basket behind her door.

“You’re gonna have company for the case, that okay?”

“Reid?” Garcia replied with a knowing look.

JJ nodded.

“Can you make him a little cozy place to sit down here? I think this one’s bad, I have no idea how long he’s been pacing.”

Garcia smiled sympathetically, immediately going to work creating a little nest of blankets and decorative pillows she could find around her cave, placing them neatly underneath her desk.

Meanwhile, JJ found herself outside the room that held Spencer and all his emotion. She took a deep breath before opening the door, met with Spencer sitting on the ground and rocking back and forth.

She took a quick motion in moving a couple of the rolling whiteboards in front of the window since sometimes the blinds got stuck and took minutes to work out.

“Spence? It’s JJ— is there anything I can do to help?” She tried softly, not confident she would get an answer.

Spencer didn’t even look at her, holding his knees to his chest and hugging them tightly. He knew by then she wasn’t going to let him in good conscience go in the field, and was working through that, too.

He brought a hand up to his mouth and started biting at his index finger’s knuckle, not really caring how stupid and childish he looked.

“Can you hear me, Spence? Just look at me for a second, so I know you hear me.”

Spencer’s beautiful brown eyes flicked in her direction before returning to the cold floor in front of him, and JJ sighed in relief.

“Great, thank you. I know you probably already know this but you aren’t going in the field, you’re gonna stay with Garcia. Remember you are still working the case if that’s what you want, okay? The only change in plans is location.”

Spencer hummed in a feeble attempt at a response before pulling his hand out of his mouth and wiping it on the fabric of his pants, embarrassed. JJ didn’t mention it, knowing it was the absolute least of their concerns.

“Do you want a hug? It’s okay if you don’t. I can just stay here with you until you’re ready.”

Spencer seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, and JJ let it happen. Then, he nodded, giving JJ a bath of pride in his improvement during the last five minutes.

She sat down beside him and leaned toward his trembling body, wrapping arms around Spencer’s frame in a way that made him feel inexplicably at home.

“God, Spence, you’re about to shake out of your skin.” JJ said absentmindedly, addressing his trembling.

Spencer thought it was silly, but he supposed he really was shaking like a leaf, trying desperately to hold onto its branch against the violence that was the bitter wind.

So, they sat like that until JJ’s phone started to beep more than Spencer knew was casual conversation. He felt the need to apologize, but wasn’t feeling particularly verbal, so he just picked his mop of curls up off her shoulder and wiped his tears with the back of his hand.

“Duty calls,” JJ sighed, then tried to lighten the mood a little. “Ten minutes wasn’t even that long, heaven forbid Emily says ‘wheels up’ and we don’t leave on the exact time she says to.”

Spencer silently mouthed fragments of what JJ had said, but JJ didn’t fuss as she’d grown used to his echolalia based habits over the years.

“You ready to head over to Garcia’s cave? She’s got a little pillow fort all set up for you, I’m sure.”

A snake of guilt slithered it’s way into Spencer’s cramped head, curling up around the static ball of overwhelm. He tried not to take too much time steadying himself to stand up, his balance and coordination slightly off from the meltdown. JJ stood with him as soon as she realized what he was trying to do, and helped him up.

“Doing great, Spence. I bet Garcia’s probably already grabbed your bag from your desk, so we can just head on down there.”

On the slightly wobbly and slow walk to Garcia’s cave, Spencer squinted against the lights and mentally cursed his too-tight tie. Once he finally made it, JJ broke off with a small apology and a good luck.

It took Garcia all of three seconds to open the door and immediately fawn over the man, and even if it made him feel burdensome he had to admit it also let him feel cared for.

“Hey, boy genius. I made you a little nook, and I also got you a cookie from my snack desk and a bottle of water,” Garcia smiled widely at him as she always did.

Spencer mustered up a small grin back, and looked down to where she motioned underneath her highly decorated desk. He recognized JJ’s prized blanket she took on every case with her and then his favorite soft blanket Garcia kept in her cave. His heart warmed and he grew a little more calm in knowing he had a safe place to stake out for the majority of the day.

He brought a hand up and adjusted his tie, tugging it off slowly as he tried to think of a way to thank her.

“Go, sit,” Garcia urged him, gently shooing him with her hands as she sat back down on her rolling chair and scooted in to the desk. “You need to drink some water and chill out before I do any sort of debriefing on this case.”

Spencer mimicked her shooing motions before he sat down, a little shamefully, and opened up the bottle of water.

Honestly, the small space made him feel safe, and the gentle light from Garcia’s fairy lights and monitors was just little enough that his eyes didn’t feel like exploding, and his mind settled a little bit.

He reached down and untied his shoelaces, resisting the urge to remove them all together, and then pulled the blanket up over his lap as he leaned against the wall. He looked up at countless little stickers and stars Garcia had planted there, wondering when and why she even put them in a place she couldn’t see.

“Better?” Garcia asked softly, and Spencer could hear the clicking of her keyboard.

Spencer, without really realizing what he was doing, quietly repeated her while he fidgeted with a little plush Garcia had put in the nest of blankets.

“Better?”

“Ah, so we’re mimicking today. Good to know,” she chuckled back.

“Good to know.”

She laughed a little, not surprised he’d been able to copy her voice to a T, but rolled back a little anyway.

“Alright, well, the case file is here but only if you want it and you’re ready,” Garcia tapped the desk above his head.

“Only when you’re ready.”

And so, Spencer sat there for the remainder of the day, occasionally laying down on his back if his legs started to fall asleep, surrounded by the soft energy of Garcia’s cave.

When he was ready— even if he was still a little stuck in repeating what was said to him— he gave Garcia input on the case and said hello to the team over the phone.

He was more than grateful for his team, his friends who cared about him. He knew that this was exactly where he was meant to be, even if it was missing a few of his favorite people. He knew this was where he belonged, this was what would fill that Spencer-shaped hole in his heart and let it overflow.

He just had to let it happen.

[idle-compy]

okie dokie!! here's my live reaction if anyone's interested

ep 1:

ooh a recap jwcc didn't have these

theyre little setup looks cozy comfy ngl

the roar competition 😭

DAMN KENJI ANGST STARTINF EARLY

BROUGHT UP CAMP CRETACEOUS

"has me feeling like my old man... like an 'ex-Kon'" KENJI

"isn't a little soon to be making jokes about ur deceased father" "nah"

kenji and this dang lettuce

risking it all for some potato chips omg

gotta give it to kenji he IS sneaky

THE YASAMMY PHOTO ❤️

these guys just been chatting for over a week but some screams during a little storm got the attention of the crew?? they're shit at they're jobs ok

omg that scene where ben and Darius are serving face for no reason

ik we've been seeing pics of it BUT THE WET HAIR ANIMATION MWAH MWAH

not rhem becoming ship hands

THE EGGGSSS

and the start of kenjis death wish GAAHHH

so much blood omg

THE GALLILIMUS SCENE NOOOO

mama... a majungasaurus behind you

darius saving that captains ass... and be tries to throw them overboard..

now darius with the death wish Jesus christ

oh this scene is animated super cool

not that mf just sliding in the crate

rip eggs pt 2

RIP KENJI PT 2 GODDAMNIT

Australian man coming in with the sense

kenji open up PLEASE

AND THERE SHE ISSSS

ep 2:

bens so desperate to charge that thing

oh so that's why he's keeping the secret that makes sense

poor ben tho imagine seeing that

yaz wondering if ANY of her friends are ok atp

ZAYNAAA

I thought the jacket removal would be later in the season hmm

ben is such a terrible secret keeper omg

not them ab to move these ppls pets

"baby bumpy ur in charge"

KENJI KISSIMF THE EGG

wait those stegos protect the farm I feel this setting up smth

i love this little gallilimus sm

geba was it??

SHE LEDT THE CASE EXPOSED AND OPEN??

kenji messing with darius they're such brothers

this woman's known yasammy for just a couple minutes and alr protecting them

BEN CLINVING THE TREE LIKE HED DO ON NUBLAR

and still no signal

yknow at least yaz is honest

camp fam doing what camp fam does best

"get out of here you off brand alligator!"

KENNI WITH THE DEATH WISHH

rising the stegosaures YES QUEENS

"but they're not our enemy any more than any animal is" preach

goddd bens so conflicted

you can see the pain in his face omggg you can tell he doesn't want to lie

ep 3:

BROOKLYNNNNNNN

RONNIE DID SAVE HERRR

THE HANDLER IN HER MEMORY

"as luck would have it ur my second amputation this week" ronnie omg

oh she's cryinggg 💔

FLASHBACKKKKKM

THE PARASAUROLOPHES oh she's visiting kenji

damn just driving thru em ok girl

VIDEO CALL MY BELOVED CHIDREN

NOOO DANIEL

at least we van see what they talked ab

yeah brooklynn call his ass out

ooohhh she's playing him isn't she

the lead up to the break up omg

SHE WAS TEXFINF HIS FATHER WHEN THEY BROKE UP

THE CASHHH

MEMORIES WITH DARIUS NLW

"something I need you to see" hmmmmmm

oh darius has fallen hard at this point

"if he loved you half as much as I do" DARIUS OH NO

oh he doesn't know how to save this GAAHH

"unless" DARIUS PLEASEEEEEEEEE SHES FRESH FROM A BREAK UP

yknow what idk if I'd be able to face her ahain after that either Jesus christ that was painful to watxh

OH THE WOODS SCENEEE

THE PERSON SHE WAS TALKING TO WAS HACKEDDDDDDD THIS WAS A SET UP

I mean I think we knew ir was a set up BUT NOT LILE THAT

THE RAPTORSSSSSSSSS

THE HANDLERRRR

the allosaurus saved her then got blamed for her death ??? 😭

I feel like ronnie being the other person she was talking to was so obvious but I'm glad it was confirmed

ahhhh the fake death confirmation

"I might have smth to take the edge off" ronnie pulled out alcohol I know it

TIME SKIPPP

"5 second rule"

honestly love that they're showing the process of her adapting to her new limb difference

ok she just changed her hair FAST bc wdym her funeral

nvm they must've held the funeral off bc her arm is healed

"maybe can we go see my friends and family?" What happened to that

"hey fam what's up?! notice anything different? it's the hair!" she's so unserious

EWWW ITS ONE OF THR EVIL DPW MEN

Can't remember if it's Jared or Jensen

"if they start causing problems I'll take care of em" talkimf ab her friends

so they weren't originally being hunted?? was that one theory ab ben snooping causing them to be right???

and in that moment brooklynn decided to remain dead didn't she

ooohhh she left ronnie

ep 4:

ooh a dln mission

OH FACE REVEAL

earnests little jiggy jig

MALTA

"it always lands in-" WHEREEEEE RONNIE WHERE

OOHHB BEN WATCHUNG WHAT THE DLN IS DOING

must've cauhjt up to the current timeline

also they must change clothes constantly throughout the season bc he's already in the grey tee

him debating messaging brooklynn omg

OH SHOOT HE SENT IT

Also brooklynns username??? Ester stone callback

ben debating leaving his friends to find brooklynn???

IS DARIUS CREATINF ANOTHER FIELD GUIDE

oooohhh sammy in the family feels I NEED TO KNOW WHAG BAPPENEEDDD

THE TRACKER

SOMETHJNF HAPPENINF TO THE DLN

"take em out to the field and wait for my signal" earnest are u ab to kill ppl

YAZ RUNNING FOR FUNSIES

Theyre definitely feeling like they were back on nublar

WHO JUST KIDNAPPED GEBA

KENJI WHAT IS THIS SONG

I missed u silly kenji tho

OH SLMEONE KNOCKED HIM OUT AND STOLE THE EGGS NO

brooklynn stays messing with ppl

YEAAHH HER SAVINF RHE CLEANINF CREW WE LOVE MORALS

she was talking to literally random ppl in the hang on scene??? after all my analyzing??

random man handled that well

HE CALLED HER SYD

UGLY CRYINF TO MSKE HIM UNCOMFORTABLE

"what did you want me to do?! fight rhem all off???? I only have one arm!!"

it is just bad thing after bad thjnf goodness

zayna joining them omggg they're 6 ahain

ooh brooklynn tricking his ass yes queen

oooh dubai

ep 5:

"well she needs to learn that sometimes life is a cruel mistress" "she's 14"

ben bringing up he and kenjis gyropshere accident omg

BROOKLYNMS ONLINE

not ben wrecking rhe boat

BENS USERNAME

bumpy_2015 CAN HE BE MORE OBVIOUS

Anyway BROOK GETTINF HIS MESSAGE???

"damning files" 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 /jjjj

ITS DADDYS GADDY

OOOHHH SHES PRETYY

is it the broker tho

I did not watxh dominion but she looks kinda like soyona santos

OOOHH BROOKLYNN FOHND A WAY IN

kenji and ben already beefing good lord

he is SUCH a terrible liar

WHYD KENJI END THE BRACHI SOUNDS LIKE THE KLIMPALOON

OOOH SOMETHJNF UNDER WATER

And now the brachis are spooked

IT IS SOYONA

RAPTOR

wow kenji risking hjs life again JESUS CHRIST MAN

all of their genuine looks of concern

that's a sick painting tho

"so much more precise than a whistle" soyona and handler beef

SOYONA KNOWS WHO SHE IS

OH SHE GOT OUT OF THERE

ig why they shared all those clips now bc tbjs is NOT playing out like I thought it would

to be so anti phone ben sure is attached to that phone

Sammy assuming bens gotta take a shit bc he ran off 😭

BROOKLYNN VIDEO CHATTINF HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMAMMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMM

BROOKLUNN TELLINF HIM TO KEEP HER A SECRET LIKE HE ISNT CONFLICTED ENOUFHHHH

SHE DELWTWD HER ACXOUNT GAAAHAHHHHH

ep 6:

IS BEN HAVJNF A PANIC ATTACK

THEYRE STARTING RHE EP LIKE THIS???

oh ok it was a mini panic

now yaz has TWO boys to be worried about

"I think I need to tell you somethjng...?" He doesn't know what to do :((((

THE UDNERWATER CREATIRE

DO THEY NOT KNOW HOW DANGEROUS HIPPOS ARE

mangoes are the cure to all

KENJI REACHING HIS ARN INTO THE HIPPOS MOITH???

Not it eating the phone

OHHHB BROOKS CUTTINF EVERYONE OFF SHE BLOCKED RONNIE

they've talked ab pooping twice now omg

yaz throwing kenjis problems onto darius omfg

sammy has grown so attached to zayna

SAMMYS A VEGETARIAN

IS THAT A CORPSEEEEEEE

oh ben is in an absolute panic omg

OOOH YAZ KNOWS HES KEEPIMG SECRETS

"all my proof is gone! dissolving in the stomach of a weirdly aggressive beast!"

why is everyone just throwing stuff on yaz rn 😭

PTEROSAUR

OH SKMETHJNF FUCKINF ATE THE PTEROASUAR IMMEDIATELY

SUCHOMIMUS

OH HO HOBHOOOO BROOKLYNN HAS THE DINO LASER

KENJI WITH THE DEATH WISH

YAZ GETTING CHASED BY A HIPPO??? IS THAT JOW SHE ENDED UP ALOME

OH DARIUS AND KENJI DONT KNOW YAZ DIDNT GET ON THE OTHER BOAT

KENJI GOT INJUREDDD

OH YAZ GOT KNOCKED OUT

BROOKLYNN AND HER MANUPULATING

OH IS BROOKLYNN GONNA END UP IN AFRICA

KENJIS SHOULDER IS JUST CADUALLY DISLOCATED??

HE JUST POPPED IT BAXN INTO PLACE LIKE IT WAS NOTHINF?????

NOOO HE WAS AB TO OPEN UP

THEY LEFT YAZZZZZ

she passed out in such a slay position tho omg

ep 7:

ooohh this has gotta be the yaz ep all the reviews were talkimf ab

THEY AINR TURN AROUMD FOR HER YET???

oh well the suchonmimus won thag battle

YAZ GIRL RUN WHIKE HES SLEEPINT

maybe it's just me but the flashlight is not thag important

THE ANIMATIONNNNNN WE CAN SEE HER TREMBLING

"well look who it is, the kenjinator" "my main man benny" why are they so awkward

"heyyyyy how are u doing... champ?" "champ? what is this what are u doing" the dialogue is so funny

thus soeech??? darius u used to be so good at this

"ahhh!! my socks are soaked"

YAZ DID ALL THAT FOW THE FLASHLUGHT AND ITS DEAD?????

oh there it goes

AND THERES DIMORPJOFONS???

AND THE FLASHLIGHT FELL RIGHT TOWARDS TBE SUCHOMIMUS SOMEONR FIVE THIS GIRL A BREAK

KENJIS OPENIMG UP BUT AT WHAG COST

HE BLAMIMG HIMSELF FOR YAZZZ

"I don't know how much more I can take" KENJKIIIIIIII :((((

KENJI BEN HEART TO HEART I've waited years for this

"WHO YA TRYNA HIT SAM???" "LEAVE A REVIEW LATER"

LIONS

YAZ HE SEES U

OH FUCK HES GOT HER

YAZ GOOOO

ok the sucho left her alone

NOW SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH LIPNS????

WAIT WHAT JUST KILLED THE LION

MANUNGUSAURUS

"MOVE YOUR BUTTS"

SHIT ANOTHER STANDIFF

SUCHO JUST CADUALLY GOT KILLED ON SCREEN LIKE THAT??

this scene is so menacing

kenji in between the gfs 😭

YASAMMY HUG

BROOKLYNM TEYINF TO CALL BEN AND THE PJONES GONE

ep 8:

kenji being protective over yaz 😭

OH IS THIS THE EP KENJI FINDS OUT

"you are not leaving me behjnd!" zaynas so real

also love the continuation that other ppl can here secret talks

OH POOR LEASHED DINOS

kenni finally realizing what he's doing to himself 😭

KENJINA HUGGGG

bro activities is laying on the ground together

damn those chains were pathetic

why are they all going into suspiciously dark areas

IS THIS A DINO FREEZER??

OH NO ITS A GENETUCS LAB

oh zayna clocked him

OH THE SHIP CAPTAIN

OH CAPTAIN LANG JUST GKT JILLED OK

THIS SVENE IS SO WELL DONE?? SO OMINOUS

OH SOMETHINS DOWN THERE WITH THEMMMM

they'd make terrible cheerleaders

OH THAG POOR BABY HAS NO EYES

THIS PLACE IS CRUELLLL

THERES RHE PROMO IMAGE

GEBA BABY UR OK

DARIUS RUN

DARIUS IS STILL DOWN THERE JFC

OH HES HOLDIMG OMTO THE OUTSIFE

"I knew u didn't hate me!"

SHIT DARIUSSSSSSS

BENS IN AN INTERROGATION ROOM KENJI CAN SEE HIM THIS IS HOW HE FINDS OHT ISNT IT

IM SORRY HE SEES BROOKLYNN WALK IN ON BEN??!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

BROOKLYNMS HERE?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?@??@?@

ohhhh this looks way wrong to kenji doesn't it

"She's alive? You knew?"

the interrogation set up eas an insane way to do thaf I loved it

ep 9:

I've been so drawn in on this ep I just realized I haven't been reviewing

anyway

BROOKLYNM SAVED THEM IN THE PIT THING

WILL WE GET TO FIND OT WHAT HAPPENED TO DARIUS

YEAH HE MADE IT

DAMN RHE OTHERS SAW HER TOOOO?!??!?!?!?!??

THIS MAN INTENTIONALLY CREATED THE EYELESS BARYONIX???? EVILLLLL

HE FED HER LIVE HUMANNNSSS?!?!??!?!??!??!?!?!

oh rip evil scientist man

OH WE HET TO HEAR BEN AND BROOKS WHOLE ARGUKMENT

"stop looking at me like that" :(((

ep 10:

FINALLEEEEE

fuck mu headphones are dying

BEN AND KENJI ANGST

OH SHIT KENJI BROKE THE GLASS WHAT IF HE HIT BENS FACE

OOHH KENJIS HURT

"after that we'll" "do something stupid? prpbably?" "probably"

EVIL SCIENTIST MAN LIVED???

omg are the acrociraptor and the baryonix communicating

YAY SCIENTIST MAN IS DEAD

oh kenjis trust is broken

BROOKLYNN HAVJNF TO HEAR HER FRIENDS SCREAM THIS IS CDUELL

WHEN WILL THRY REUINITEEE AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

ZAYNAS DAD TO THE RESCUE

SHES GOJNA BLOW IT UP AND KENJI AND VEN ARE SFILL IN THEREEEE

oh ok they drove their asses outta there

"nuh uh u don't get to talk" oh kenjis bitter

CONFRONTATIONNNNNNNNNNNN

ooohhh what's brooklynn gonna do

SHES LEABIFN THEM AND TAKIMG THE EGGGS???

SHE GAVE THEN BHNPYS EGG AND LEDT????????

THATS IT?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!???!??!?!?!??!

[kawaiibarty]

UMMM if this is not an intrusive question, could you pls explain the process of you transitioning? Like whatever made you feel you were with the wrong body? And how did it bother you sm? This is plain curiosity. If u wish pls help me understand.

ahhhh hi hi it's not intrusive at all!

so for me it was really something that took time for me to understand because i didn't know that people were allowed to feel different yk

when i was a child i wore boys clothes because it made me feel happy, during playtime i called dibs on the boy characters, my avatars in video games were exclusively male.

i felt really uncomfortable wearing certain things like skirts and certain shirts and even different types of shoes. my mom said i was really picky and difficult about it lol.

for a while i sort of started wearing skirts and stuff, around 11 to 13 yrs old but, idk it was an odd period for me. i just wanted to be someone my mother liked yk. anyway, for most of my schooling id been in an all girls school up until gr7 when i moved cross country and schools. this new school was co-ed and it was really weird because i felt excluded a lot of the time because i wasn't...yk i didn't act like most of the girls and the people i thought id fit in with didn't like the way i did things LOL. i just felt alienated and like an imposter because i wasn't doing....girl right? iykwim

then i went to highschool a year later and i was shoved back into an all girls class for two years where i realised i properly like girls, except i thought i was homophobic because i didn't like the lesbian label or the bisexual label even though id tried out both at some point. it was like, i know i like girls and i haven't liked a guy properly but that doesn't make me lesbian because...but what if it does because im a girl, right? (spoiler alert, i do like guys and i realised that i could use the label queer without it being a slur also cue asexuality)

anyway, i was introduced to non-binary and it was a reaaaal relief. im telling you, once i was seen as something that wasn't an uncomfortable little girl it was good. but it still didn't feel right so i toyed around with androgyny except i didn't like how uncertain it made me feel yk?

im not saying that people who are enby or androgynous are wholly uncertain but i didn't want to feel like a poseur because i KNEW what i wanted but i didn't know if it was real.

i dont remember when this happened but somebody introduced me to he/they and they/he pronouns and i grasped onto that and it was okay for a while. still didn't feel like i was going it right because i had long hair and wore skirts and was still called a girl or non-binary and i hated my name and everything about the uncertainty yk? like it just came back out of nowhere

then one day this little boy comes up to me, i kid you not it's a CORE MEMORY for me, but this kid approaches me and he's like "are you a boy or a girl" and i start panicking because im not a girl and i hate being a girl and im not a boy because...i mean i don't even look like one right? so i ask him "what do you think i am?" and he says, without even thinking about "you look like a boy. i think you're a boy." and

yk, ive never smiled so wide in my life. i told him "yeah you're right" and he FISTBUMPS ME and im all giddy and excited and i text my best friend @d-rxse and im like OMGOMG YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED DUDE anyway that was three years ago

then i got moved to a co-ed class

it kind of went to shit after that because as soon as i came out as trans i got a new boyfriend and he had never dated a trans person before so for a while he used he/they pronouns for me and we called each other boyfriends up until maybe april of last year where he told me he was uncomfortable with it

so i was an idiot and threw away all my progress and said "you can call me your gf and use they/them pronouns and she/her in front of your friends" and yeah 👍🏼 progress gone. down the drain.

i fixed it tho, by the end of last year i was so done with his bullshit, i broke up with him a week after school started this year, cut my hair short, changed my name, pronouns and got a new phone. cut him out of my life completely. ive never been happier

[bloomychan]

My thoughts for My Hero Academia Chapter 430

The first 3 pages summarized their remaining days at UA and honestly, I wished they expanded a little more than that. Maybe it's just me hoping to see a little bit more of their STUDENT life. This is what i get for hoping we have like 40 pages or something 🥲. I love how the first page of the last chapter paralleled the first page of Chapter 1 🥹.

I hope we get Light novels telling their daily lives at UA. I wanna know more about shinso too!

The next pages started their lives outside UA. It's an 8 year time-skip.

The others became pro-heroes and Izuku became a teacher. It suits him tbh. But the next pages that comes after that... My honest thoughts for this?

Disappointment.

Everyone had their shining moments, establishing their names into the hero society....BUT WHY IS THERE NOTHING FOR IZUKU?

Like idk anything that actually TALKS about him. Not grandeur like all might's statue or anything but why is it like a blank page for him. I get that the embers faded a little too fast unlike all might's buuttt it really leaves an itch to me that ALL that he did was just like a fleeting dream. I hoped hori showed something, ANYTHING monumental that recognizes his efforts. We didn't even get to hear his thoughts & feelings. His own PoV. It didn't satiate me that people just knew him. Like that boy. There's gotta be something more than that cause he literally saved japan. He saved more than what he could but why does it feel so empty.

BUT

Even though i was disappointed, I guess it really brought me to tears of joy when I realized that despite Izuku veiling his thoughts that he's okay with the things that happened after the embers faded, BAKUGO KATSUKI saw through that veil and refused to end IZUKU'S DREAM.

Katsuki LEAD Class A to make Izuku's dream come true ONCE AGAIN.

Even if Izuku somehow gave up on it, THEY WON'T. THEY COULDN'T.

And as for Katsuki, aiming for that number one spot is nothing without his proper rival on the loose.

THIS TIME KATSUKI LED AND REACHED HIS HAND FOR IZUKU.

I don't know about you guys but that brought peace to me. Knowing both of them will have their time going after their "Save to Win, Win to Save" lore.

And as I've said before, a glimpse to their Pro-Hero lives and no ships confirmed is the best ending for this.

If you just take a moment and dive reel in, You'd know this story is more than just an ordinary shounen manga.

The ending was rushed, obviously so.. but overall I'm thankful because it might not be the "best" ending I wanted for Izuku but knowing he gets to be on par with everyone is enough for me to know that it's really Curtain Call for MHA.

AHHHH I FXCKING LOVE THIS MANGA.

Thank you for bringing them to life Horikoshi-Sensei 🫡

Now let's wait for the remaining announcements!

[babydollmarauders]

I MET RUT, FRANK NAZAR, LUCA, AND MARK LAST NIGHT QND OMG THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL AND SO SWEET.

mark: was the first, before i met him a girl went “did ya get into the nhl yet🤨” and he smiled and goes “not yet” then we he walked away he frowned AND I FELT SO BAD. anyways when he came up to me I wanted TO PEE. he’s literally a big teddy bear angel sweet muffin pie but because he’s A BIG BOY I WAS SO INTIMIDATED BY HIM. but i asked him and he was like “yeah ofc” and he looked beautiful and then started chatting up a grandma and grandpa

rutger: THE BEST. he’s so sweet, holds conversation, and he THANKED ME FOR TAKING A PIC WITH HIM??? also put his hand on my shoulder i collapsed

frank: at first i was scared cause the girls infront of me asked him and he shook his head but THEN HE CAME BACK AND WAS HELLA SWEET. and his smile and dimples were gorg in our photo

luca: he was super sweet, it was kinda awkward tho idk. it’s prob bc i just met rutger and i was literally high off that but he was so nice. he wished me a goodnight too!!

i could’ve met more (like dylan duke and gavin) but they were talking with like 5 other players and i felt awkward going up to all those huge men. BUT THEY ARE ANGELS!!

AHHHH OMG I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

I LOVE THEM SM OMG

[soaps-mohawk]

me sliding into your asks as soon as i see they're open: HECKIN. YES.

(also i wrote this before the latest update if the vibes seem off)

I know you've been having A Time of it so no pressure to answer this (or if it bothers you! I hope you don't mind but if you do I apologize) 

But I was reading through the CRCB FAQs and you were talking about how a second omega would fit in the pack, with Simon as their "primary" alpha. I was thinking about what kind of omega would be interesting and able to keep up with them....and landed on: well, there have to be SOME omega rights activists, right? It seems like omega suffrage would be a fairly new thing (last 100 years or so), and that generally speaking omegas have the limited rights that American women had prior to women's lib/the advent of no fault divorce (and if you've already talked about this ahhhh don't mind me!)

And I just thought. That would be so delicious. An older omega rights activist (30s? older than reader!omega "Too old" by societal norms) , not super well known but pretty independent for an omega. and the US government can't just KILL them as much as they want to, (the FBI is like wym y not???:( so ooc for us ) so the CIA is like hey UK!!! heard about some omega shit you were doing. Need another one??? But don't look at that file too closely. Actually, you know what, just give the file back to us, you don't need it

Basically the exact opposite reason reader was chosen (military background, textbook good omega , genuinely trying their best to be a good omega vs civilian actively trying to cause a ruckus  who needs to be black bagged) and they know Ghost's reputation and his upbringing, on paper they see a man who will NOT take kindly to this mouthy omega, who will undoubtedly fight him on EVERYTHING, who will certainly hate the good omega the pack already has, so no one will be too concerned if Riley roughs them up a bit. if the omega dies during claiming wah wahhh so sad. but these things happen and now the Brits owe us a favor for killing a US citizen

Of course they don't take into account how much reader!omega has impacted the pack, who is already working on ways to make the new omega feel welcome and cared for, that Ghost would sooner kill himself than put himself in a position where he felt he was unsafe for (his) omega OR that Ghost would probably be really chuffed to have an omega that will stand toe to toe with him and who will be SO EXCITED at learning how to fight alphas. 

idk idk i just had fun thinking about it. reader!omega being very protective of New Packmate, doing things she wish had been done when she was first introduced to the pack (fluffy blanket shopping spree!!) lowkey being a wingman, baking brownies together, HAVING THEIR OWN GROUP CHAT ABOUT THE BOYS!! well i guess it's just a chat if there's only two in it but you get it

anyway thank you for sharing this wonderful world with us :)

(also: i was so scared about the new chapter bcos anxiety! i was worried the boys would just be harsh and angry for the dramatic tension but their reactions were believable and informed by what they've been learning about the realities of being an omega. and it was so well done, it made my heart hurt but the good way.)

Haha yeah, I was getting a ton and didn't want to overwhelm myself so I turned them off for a bit before Saturday since I knew I'd be getting many after I posted the chapter.

Ah yeah, that was an idea I had early on writing this fic. Something similar except Simon doesn't accept the first omega so Laswell sends in a second (the details and world are very different with a few similarities) for Simon and Johnny.

But this would be a good idea too!! Definitely would be some butting heads there and there would be a lot of struggles between them. Angst though. The angst would be chef's kiss

(Yeah, I tried to tone it down more from what it was originally going to be and honestly I made them nicer than they should have been, while also keeping it realistic still. John definitely was the most understanding because he understands why 'mega kept it a secret in the first place. I broke everyone's hearts this week. I can't promise I'm not gonna do it again next week)

[werebutch]

Guys today was so good I’m gonna save all the details for my deadjournal unless people are actually interested but probably not LMFAO I’m pinedogs on there if u wanna stalk me.

BUT today we went to the zoo . Very awesome. We saw a lot of stuff. But we spent probably over an hour just watching the 2 brown bears. It was really cool out and cloudy most of the day so they were really active and enjoying the weather.. THEY WERE VERY CUTE AND ENTERTAINING. the more I see bears infront of me with my eyes the more I’m like wow. Um. Das me. LMAO but yea the bears were the highlight seriously. I will post my bear videos so that like 2 people will watch BAHAH. And we went to eat afterwards I had a few drinks dude anyways literally best birthday I’ve had in such a long time I never wanted it to end. I kept trying to think of places w my sister where we could go that are open late on a Sunday night. Besides like a bar or something. HAHAH OKAY SO YEA. IDK. I’m so happy. I got 3 things at the zoo all bear themed I’ll show u them tomorrow. I wish they had more bear stuff AHHHH I love….. ♥️ so amazing day

[kithtaehyung]

I JUST this year found out about 3tan and I have GOT to say that seriously, I LLLLLOOOOOOVEE your works, like 3tan was the first one I started but the first chapter had me hooked and by the second chapter I was DEVOOOTEDDDD TO YOUR WRITING, like it all feels very organic, I can immerse myself so easily in this story and I loooooveee the way you write Every. Single. Personality. In this work like, they make sense, shit I love Jimin being such a real one, I love how I can feel the anxiety and tranquility after every intrusive thought and every reassurance, it's all very guttingly beautiful, I feel like crying cause it's such a great work, I had to remind myself to stop for a couple hours cause I was reading at work and by the time I read it at home I'd started pulling all nighters without even noticing cause it's just so gooooood. I was feeling so elated cause I hadn't felt this avid about a story in so long and had mostly just read one-shots and by the time I finished I just needed to read every work of yours and oºoºh my god, I'm still not done but seriously, I wish I had a book cabinet with a podium of favourite amazing writers and works cause yours would easily be within the top 3, little light shining on it and glitter glittering around it, the holy music in the background, the whole works. Seriously thank you so much for your work, I'm thaaaankful for finding your work because even at the dialogue and internal thoughts, they all clicked so good. I could just go on and on about this (I need a whole essay on this or easily a rant channel or smn idk) because I love it so much but I'm not even writing this right and I'm so hype and I hope your food always taste grate, your blankets always feel like safety, your mornings always feel great, your coffee always taste good and warm, your friends always make you feel loved, your favorite movies/series/books/works are always within reach for you and I hope you feel loved by the ones you love every second. Holy shittt thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you so muuuuuuch ✨✨✨✨✨

AHHHH when i tell you the absolute smile i got on my face after reading this, and then the way it got even wider the more i kept reading! organic writing is literally what i work extra hard for, so this made me very, very at peace.

these stories are meant to be escapes from everyday life. worlds you can run away to whenever you need. i'm glad you ended up finding them! (jimin is such a real one omfg)

you can cry! i cry while writing these all the dang time hahaha it's only natural if you are moved enough. totally okay and i will be there to give you tissues. gosh, i remember those times where i lost so much sleep just from being sucked into a fic or book. good times spent!

I was feeling so elated cause I hadn't felt this avid about a story in so long and had mostly just read one-shots and by the time I finished I just needed to read every work of yours and oºoºh my god, I'm still not done but seriously, I wish I had a book cabinet with a podium of favourite amazing writers and works cause yours would easily be within the top 3, little light shining on it and glitter glittering around it, the holy music in the background, the whole works.

THIS PART MADE ME SOBBBB oh my goodness you are so sweet and i wish you the best things in life for years and years! what an incredible compliment to receive as a creator. super honored.

we're having fun on the 3tan discord if you wanna join! we're all there to bond over all things 3tan and other similar interests :D it's super fun and chill.

damn i.. i am just so thankful. this was a thoughtful message and i am gonna sleep so peacefully. thank you again!

[alligaytorswamp]

Bursting into the room: Please tell me about your idol OCs!! What music do they do? What fashion styles? Who are your favorites? Do they have any fun interactions? Do you have more art of them?

auauauAAUUGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU FOR THISSS

AHSJKDHASD idk how to talk about them !! in a normal way !! so ahhhh let me just try giving basic info about each group or smth

edit: this is so fucking LONG LMAOOO.... here is a link to all their TH (andromeda isn't done sorry), if u wish to skip my mad man blabbing altogether B)

Andromeda

my first idol ocs group, naturally was a llsif fan group love them with my entire heart despite the fact that i make content with them like once ten years, they live in my head all the damn time there are 9 of them, canonically they are the only ones who have the privilege of being "very fucking popular and successful" went from being school idols (SparkleS) with pretty typical cute/energetic concept, then debuted fr (Andromeda) and now their concept is more mature/elegant/cool

uhhh they are just wonderful girls who are all best friends and they are very cute and different and silleyyyyy and i am a horrible father bc i didn't make their TH profiles yet (THERE IS 9 OF THEM IT'S SO HARD) so here is their tag instead... ignore very old art tho 😔 also i have spotify playlist with songs i imagine they either would have or would cover - here

(also in my mind their concept/main vibe of their music kind of ever-changing, to me, they can do whatever they want at this point bc they are just so popular lol + they have units and such and i can get away with it) (they are overpowered yes yes)

Ishin-Denshin

5 members here,, they are my girl boy group or boy girl group <3 don't know how to explain it's just they are bg but the music inspo/concept is strictly what my fav girl groups i listen to got going on

total boys next door, just chill sweet guys, good vibes only fun fact all got like trauma/issues (tm) because i am certified sad boys maker, but they are all doing well and go to therapy LMAO

like Andromeda they all met in high school and started idol club together, but unlike the girlies they didn't mean to be proper idols, sorta got scouted later on anyways they are also besties, very tight-knit (trauma bonded?) and i also love them dearly they got their TH profiles, with bits of main lore and some info on their friendships - here their spotify playlist - eek

GRIMM parade

ah my funny crazy little theatre kids and vocaloid stans literally a combo of 3 quirky bitches who really love acting and dark dramatic stories

i think the most basic way to describe their vibes would be like Halloween + fairy tales? They are very extra and have like odd ways of speaking/interacting with people, but it's their charm (as per usual, very much full of brain issues, bc i gotta make my boys even a little sad)

their TH - here their spotify - here (way less songs bc it's stupidly hard to find smth i like for them)

cheer4U

literally fresh out of the oven i have nothing for themm asjkdhakdsda i gotta share tho: they are a co-ed group, and from what i have seen in life most groups give rap parts to men, but here it's boys being vocalists and girls being rappers(+vocalists), and idk how to explain but it is very fun to me, girls got all the swaggg

also a fun fact: one dude (michi) is hisoka's (andromeda) younger brother and one girlie (olly) is elijah's (pothos) younger sister

pothos

now that i mentioned them, even tho this is just about my idols i have to talk about everybody even a little pothos is a dance crew, so they are 4 dudes who make choreographies and despite my pattern of making best friends, these 4 are NOT asdjkhakjdhaskl, more like it’s 3 dudes who are friends with elijah but aren't close amongst each other

their TH - here

anison singers

just these two random soloists, with their own quirks they are dating LOL their TH - here

Urban Legends

my rock band heheeee they are just cool and awesome girlies, who make music about scary myths and folk stories their TH - here

__

re: fashion styles it either matches their concept, or if we are talking individually - it depends on each ocs LMAO re: my favorites andromeda are the blueprint, so they receive special treatment, but currently i am also crazy about Ishin-Denshin AND dince cheer4U are newborns i am focusing on establishing their personalities lol

re: do they have any fun interactions?

ok so idol groups all know each other for sure, pothos prolly interacted with them as well, but way less and more formal, soloists and urband legends def had only minor interactions IF they had those.

generally speaking, everyone in the company treat Andromeda like seniors/girlbosses (because they are) while cheer4U are now the youngest and newest group they are kinda babies to everyone Andromeda doesn't have very close relations to anyone (being popular doesn't help here), but they are considered like a proper sister group to Ishin-Denshin, due to some matching concept elements and being the 'foundation' of the company Andromeda and Ishin-Denshin def had their little collabs, specifically vocal-based, since both group got mad vocalists also important to point out that Ishin-Denshin are huge fans of Andromeda, like every single one of them loves them, they def have been following Andromeda since their school idol days and they are still not over the fact that they ended up in the same company

Ishin-Denshin and GRIMM parade are a bit closer, i think because they are the same age, and because Ryunosuke insisted they should be rivals LOL it didn't happen tho, because Ishin-Denshin are just sweeties, and were like "no thank you <3", so Ryunosuke settled on Ishin-Denshin being their supporters or smth anyways, they def hang out somewhat regularly, ofc each of GRIMM parade members is close to different Ishin-Denshin members i think main proper friendships i have are: Ryunosuke and Tadao (leaders and basically dads of their group... lowkey considering making them a couple ahaha...) Shouhei and Nobu+Kyo, Shouhei and Nobu are just besties who hang out a bunch, but two of them with Kyo had like a whole event of helping Shouhei deal with a nasty break up he had (Nobu had a shitty relationship too, while Kyo.. well... it's in his TH profile B) the point is Kyo and Nobu just helped Shouhei process things) Rokuro and Kyo - just hype boys who hype together

here is a fun meme you should laugh it's very funny (i have no one to share this with)

i don't think i have any other ~full group~ relations so here's random canon connections i remember tsubaki (urban legends) is a fangirl of andromeda and specifically their triplers unit, def stans hana, mieko and shiori ryunosuke (grimm parade) and kaede (urban legends) totally get along due to their 'dramatic freak' agenda, witnessing them talking to each other has to be an Experience, because they 100% use most extra phrases and words LMAO elijah (pothos) is a huge fanboy of grimm parade and ryunosuke specifically kyo (ishindenshin), rokuro (grimm parade) and elijah (pothos) are also like 3 energetic funky boys who love dancing kyo, tadao (ishindenshin), axe, elijah (pothos), michi (cheer4U), hana (andromeda) and shinobu (urban legends) all love working out so i imagine they end up together in the gym every now and then also totally exlusive info, but im gonna couple up ichigo (cheer4U) and kyo (ishindenshin), as well as michi (cheer4U) and shouhei (grimm parade) B)

FUNNY THING... THIS IS LIKE NO INFORMATION AT ALL AHAHA.. TIP OF THE ICEBERG... I HAVE SO SO SO MUCH ABOUT EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL OC, LIKE THE STUFF THAT I DIDN'T HAVE SPACE/DESIRE TO WRITE ABOUT IN THEIR TH PROFILES... AUGH

[businesscasualart]

honestly i'd be curious to hear 1, 11 and 46 if you like any holiday films, i'm always curious. i have like 3 christmas movies i've been apeshit over since childhood and apparently this isn't common

[AAA I NEVER ACTUALLY SENT THE RESPONSE MY BAD. Try not to monologue forever challenge, FAILED‼️IMPOSSIBLE‼️]

The questions are from here <3 thank you sm this was so fun!

1. Who is/are your comfort character(s)?

I actually don’t really classify my favorite characters. I just get really attached to a lil guy and add him to The Collection and don’t question it. I got a guy for nearly every mood. I collect them in a china cabinet in my mind palace or something. I don’t even know if I know exactly what a comfort character is supposed to be. But I think I can convert any of my blorbos into a source of comfort in case of an emergency. 

I DO recall the like…first and only character I openly called a comfort character with minimal second thought was Dr. Henry Jekyll from the classic gothic lit novel, The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 

Then my friends were like “elaborate on that” and I was like “no <3”. 

I still don’t know if I can actually elaborate on that. The curse of the Tortured-By-His-Own-Hubris-And-Sin Victorian Man™️ weighs heavily on me as well as he. That’s the best I got. C’est la vie. He’s just like me fr if you squint and tilt your head and actually go blind. 

Besides Jekyll, the beloved. Uhhhh. Who else could be a comfort character? OH haha, okay, so…

How do I condense this down without giving a whole drawn out story…I don’t have much in the way of physical insecurities. I’m usually pretty confident. But, and y’all may have noticed this by now, I’ve always fancied myself…a big, strong, masc woman. Y’know? I say butch-y a lot, idk if I can say “I’m butch” if I’m straight. 

However, despite all that, I am not…the optimal or ideal …or stereotypical? big, strong, masc woman. I am small. Small and scrawny. Greasy, wiry bastard. I’m athletic! I run for hours everyday! I work out! I tend to my family’s farm by hand! But uh…still, short, unnoticeable muscle. Nobody looks at something kinda heavy and thinks I can carry it. People laugh when I even suggest the concept of me fighting someone.

My height and difficult-to-notice muscle can upset me greatly. Like how can I be a big strong lady in this economy? Every character or person I look at that I want to be like…is about at least twice my size, or twice my mass. Like??? I’LL NEVER HAVE THE SAME VIBES, I’ll never achieve that! It’ll never be the same! 

I guess it’s a pretty common thing to feel but it’s not something I’ve really felt before or about anything else. 

Ik you’re into BG3. I haven’t played it, I don’t intend to. I think if I get it, it’s not a matter of if but when it’ll break my computer or my me. 

But…I know Some stuff…I know a little bit about Lae’zel. Like uh…frog lady, warrior or knight, rude, devoted? …uh…something about licking sweat?…xenophobia? idk that’s not my point-

My point is, like…she gets big buff lady privileges, she’s treated the same as I see most big strong ladies I wish I could look like get treated. I thought she was a particularly big strong lady for awhile! But I looked it up and like…She doesn’t have that much visible muscle at all! It’s like, mostly armor. And she’s the shortest of the party too???? But she’s regarded like she’s huge and intimidating and like…ahhhh WHATEVER WHATEVER!!! It’s kinda stupid, it feels like it’s weird to dwell on this sappy stuff towards a character idek and I got two other questions I’m late to answer. I said I wasn’t gonna give a whole lengthy story. Just like. Thinking about her existence as a character and her character’s reception just…makes me feel better about myself. So she’d probably be a big contender for the status of “Comfort Character”.

11. Favorite extracurricular activity?

OUGH extracurricular??? I am…or, ig, was homeschooled in a state with some great loose restrictions. So when it came to school, we liked to play some of it fast and loose. Our neighbor obtains a dead boar and gives it to us? We gotta turn it into dinner? Gather around children, it’s time for some… biology dissections. That type of deal.

I did have some actual “extracurricular activities”, or ig since I was homeschooled they’d be called “hobbies”. Um…I was on a chess club, I wasn’t good; I did ballet, not well; I did tap, briefly; I did piano, with the least amount of passion;……I was not a great student. But I like to talk about them!  I keep forgetting I did all of that. They were fun, my skill and gripes aside. 

I do still run for fun. I started when I was like twelve, and discovered nightcore, and got filled with energy, and realized I cannot dance. I can sprint tho! So I’ve been running, for hours everyday, to music, ever since. Even though I do art, I’d consider it very separate from my education. So “track” or “cross-country” probably has to be it. 

I did also begin learning to code recently with some…questionable free code camp website. That’s pretty fun!

46. Favorite holiday film?

OOO hm. Okay. I always have it in my head that I don’t like holiday films but that might not be entirely true. I just watch them outside of the holiday, have some unconventional choices, or just dislike the ones my family always chooses. 

Idk if the exact definition of a ‘holiday film’ is a film based around a holiday or one viewed every time a certain holiday rolls around, but my favorite that might qualify for both is Jaws. We watched it every 4th of July for good while and it was probably the first horror type movie I’ve seen, I felt like a rebel for it but it was always my parents’ idea. 😂 I’ve loved horror ever since so maybe that started me down this path!…unless it’s not actually horror.

I’d love to hear about those Christmas movies you love! I have not settled on a favorite Christmas movie! I suppose I’m difficult to please.

I keep mixing up Christmas With The Kranks and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, but I think I really enjoyed one or both of those. I ALSO LOVE A CHRISTMAS CAROLS omg, every A Christmas Carol movie, my absolute beloved. The Muppets one will always be The A Christmas Carol to me tho.

There was also It’s A Wonderful Life, I have had the WEIRDEST experience with it. I get why people don’t like it, but I’ve always firmly believed that the best way to experience a movie…is talking over it with friends and family PUT THE PITCHFORKS ASIDE FOR A MINUTE. We aren’t having full conversations the whole time but, for me, the movie watching experience just isn’t right without hearing occasional comments and thoughts and opinions and memories and predictions from company throughout the experience. No matter what movie or show it is. I think it’s a big part of why I can’t watch anything alone without going at an ABYSMALLY sluggish pace. I was raised on Reaction Videos before Reaction Videos were a thing XD

I watched It’s A Wonderful Life for the first time at home with my family last year, and a rarity happened: we all HATED it. Maybe one of us will not enjoy a movie but this one we were all groaning and checking the minutes left. It just felt like Nothing was happening and it was dragging on and on. The second time I watched it was actually later in the month, in a movie theater, with some brief acquaintances from a Women’s Group of sorts, in an attempt to make friends and the like. My mother came with but she was sitting a row behind me, a few chairs away. And I was sitting next to The Hostess and an old lady attending who couldn’t hear very well. I absolutely could Not talk, I am fully aware of theater etiquette and how much other people dislike it. So I didn’t talked. And actually? I actually liked it the second time around????? I asked my mother after and she liked it better too??????? Idk what it was, maybe it was bc we were talking over it at first for the magic of the movie theater experience but I just really liked it better. And that’s probably the closest to Christmas magic I’ve seen….okay, okay, second closest but we don’t need to get into it right here.

also, idk WHAT is going on with The Polar Express…but I think I’m messing with it. I’d need to rewatch it but I think I was a fan of…whatever was happening there <3

And ofc you can’t forget Die Har—[the Time based SAW trap I was trapped in the whole time goes off and kills me immediately for Not. shutting up.]

[ctl-yuejie]

only friends ep 7

1/4

hmm...don't know how to feel about the hospital scene. felt like something was missing. no matter how drunk and drugged up rain was, sand seems a bit too chill for his own good.

wish we could have had cheurm and april waking up in bed being cute as a scene and then have mew knock at the door for emotional support.

top really isn't that clever isn't he? doesn't even consider nick as the perpetrator. however, that might fit with how little regard he has for nick as a competitor.

you know it is coming....but once again cheering for mark's acting here. neo and him really delivered this scene. interesting that boston seems to still want top...hmmm. probably the best thing for nick to be cut off by boston like this. might hurt but at least it's a clean cut.

2/4

hmmm...sand baby...really not sure whether he wasn't hurt by what ray said or if he has other things on his mind.

i actually really like how close ray and mew are and that we are getting heart-to-heart talks like this. the hand-holding was very cute.

i just love when boston raises his eyebrows like, yes, deal with me. maybe better than not meaning your apology, but i am cackling at how not sorry boston is. THE iconic scene from the trailer. perfect balance of someone could seriously drown and it looking very pathetic. particularly Boston's slap of the water in the end. love to see that cheurm (as expected) clearly is the leader of the gang.

when he yelled at nick, boston clearly knew he'd lose his friends but somehow still looked surprised when the whole group shunned him.

3/4

yes!!!! first and nick in a serious scene??? give me more. yes! you tell everyone nick, it's YOUR misguided call to make. (went into this series happy to see neo and mark in bigger roles, didn't expect to enjoy them this much). HOW is it so easy to baby Mark as Nick, he looks so sad and teary-eyed. Boston is a strong man to not hug a crying Nick despite himself. love the initial rejection of Sand hugging him quickly being won over by "please hug me, I am the most heartbroken person that has ever existed". i like that he sees Boston for who he is but also thinks he got close to Boston falling for him. maybe Boston being so hung up about Top gives him hope that that could be him (beyond trying to emulate his style, since Top is Boston's type)

fairly certain that while top might not be that much into mew, he certainly was hurt by his drawings getting burnt. i feel like it's one of the few times he made himself vulnerable by showing mew his hobby (i think there is still a struggle between him wanting to try something serious like this but uncertainty whether he want it to be with mew, or whether mew is the image of who he wants to be vulnerable with. vice versa similar projection onto top by mew in the earlier part of the series).

(again, the soundtrack is just all bangers. my week currently: ofts on saturday - sun, mo, tue, wed, thurs, fri: listening to the ost on repeat)

another unexpected combo? hmm..idk mew, not sure whether nick sees himself fully as the victim here. Ohhh, would Nick want to hurt Boston?? Ahhhh, Nick!!!! This is getting so dark.

Ahaha, I like how we can see that Mew is trying out to be "a villain". even re-using his accident with Top to deliberatedly approach someone this time. (everyone was joking about Neo single-series-ly getting to the top of the list of same-sex kisses in gmmtv, but I see Drake threw in is hat into the ring unsuspectingly). okay, Mew, let's whether you can get out of this in time. omg! he and boston really did a lot more that just what was shown in episode 1...the file is called boston69. p'jojo, please enlighten me.

4/4

ahaha, mew in his new fit is visibly so out of place in his own flat. i like seeing boston squirm. boston hasn't really much regard for himself. he is very egoistic but at the same time, his concern is about the consequences for his dad. not even the consequences for the realtionship he has with his dad. he even told nick, that he wouldn't mind it that gap hat recorded him, if it wasn't for his dad. (rotates boston in my mind for the next 24 hours)

it cannot be repeated enough how cringe top can be. and again, mew hates to be put on the spot. how has he still not understood that mew might let him into his flat to talk but will not tolerate him showing up unannounced overcompensating (possibly clear throughline to how Top's parents and everyone else around him tended to apologies to him). Wish we could have seen more of Cheurm hosing them all down before Top hit Mew.

Somehow they heard me and gave me another Mew Ray heart-to-heart? Khao is so good at making his long crush so visible whenether he is with Mew. Hmm...when will Nick realise that Mew might not have really helped his case (unless Boston approaches him to get rid of the videos for good).

(Oh god, Nick's outfit in the preview...after the kiss/marry/kill game I wait for each week to give me the episode when Sand and Nick hook up)

[taegularities]

Gosh what can I say, CMI really has a special place in my heart like we’ve come a long way to come to this point!! Again I took down my favourite moments because it makes me tear up 😩

“Pulling out all the stops and making things better with you, I mean. I wouldn’t wanna do it with anyone else.” This is love, this is love. Like even if you’re happy, sad or angry with each other it doesn’t matter as long as its with your person 🥹🥹 I suddenly remember that song called I’d Rather by Luther Vandross ❤️

“Which is you for me. I’m building a home with you.” All I can say is the best is yet to come. I’m so excited for the home and life they’ll build together!! *ehem* kids included *ehem*

“My baby is the prettiest ever. Ever, ever.” Cmi jk makes me swoon 🥰🥰 MY BABY ugh 🙊

Iron Man socks. Obviously worn a hundred times; so, so him. — nauurrr but I do remember kook wearing the iron man socks when they got pranked though 💔 he was a baby 😭😭

“And this… This is my girlfriend. She’s even prettier in real life… that’s right.” Come onnnn!! As if cmi jk cant be more perfect. Im still reeling at the fact they’re together cause cmi jk wears the boyfriend tag like a badge of honour 🥰🥰

“Don’t say these things while they’re here, baby,” he warns, although as tenderly as anyhow possible, “you’ll give me a heart attack, I mean it.” I love it when oc teases him!! He’s down bad! I actually wished oc did something naughty hihi

Much like the flowers towards the downpour, Jungkook and you reached for each other while being watered by gloom — but unlike the flowers, you’re still sprouting and thriving into something vivid and fragrant. Not beaten by the agonising shower. - THIS IS MY MOST FAVOURITE PART. I cant remember how many times I read and go back to this particular paragraph. Your words are so beautiful its painful to think about it ❤️❤️

And in the end, him and you aren’t tragic like them. You will never wither — only bloom. - THIS ONE TOO 😭😭 When I read this I felt like gosh this line holds so much promise. I trust you Rid to never break them apart again 😐🤞🏻

And when I come home now, the first thing I think of is you. What we’d cook tonight. Or what we might watch or talk about. - I wish I have something like this to think about also AHA HA HA HA.. 🫥

“And that’s you. I don’t want anyone if I can’t have you.” Its you for me, and me for you kinda thing. No one can ever come between them ❤️

“Wanna dance with you. And kiss you under the lights.” They’re so sickeningly romantic my gosh I feel my single-ness so much when I read cmi 😩 like idk if they’re the type but when I think of cmi couple, they’re like the ones who would dance to mellow music in their living room with only fairylights on, maybe some wine. Enjoying the night as if they’re the only ones awake and sharing a secret only they know 😩❤️❤️❤️

Thank you Rid for our new year’s gift!! You’re so so incredibly talented and hope you know how special you are as a writer and person!! This new year, i wish you can feel comforted as much as we feel comfort from you and your stories. Love you my darling ❤️

gosh, cmi really has come a long way, huh? 😭 1.5 yrs of beauty, and it shall continue for just a bit longer <3 you're so sweet for highlighting your favourite parts :((

i think one of the reasons i truly love these two so much is that they take every emotion in their relationship as an important and natural part of it. like, we haven't seen that bit yet, but it is in my notes – the way they'll handle jealousy, anger, sorrow, trauma will be so incredibly… mature? and very sweet. and they wouldn't wanna do it with anyone else, yes 🥺

not the kids, plsss 😭 (also im just noticing, but i wanted to call you by a name and only came up with koalashark?? lmaoo is there a name i can call or tag you with? 🥺)

THE IRON MAN SOCKSSS AHHHH i immediately felt bad thinking about the AHL incident bc that was so terrible to witness but… the fact that jk had iron man socks at all :( and he'll be wearing them again just bc oc told him to heheheheh <3

HE DOES WEAR THE BOYFRIEND TAG LIKE A BADGE OF HONOUR AHHHHH he's so proud to be hers 😭 and smth naughty huh? fret not. oc will drive him insane in cmi12/13 lollll. also, ty ty tysm for talking about the flower part. i agonised over it for such a long time, so your praise means a lot to me <3

"Its you for me, and me for you kinda thing"… yes. yes yes yes 🥺 :(((

they're truly both romantic ugh. like, i feel like oc isn't as hardcore of a romantic as him, but that love makes her just that for sure. or idk. i really cannot say who of them is more romantic i just ughghhgjdkshfgjkdfsk :') and yes babe you're right, they're the type to slow dance to mellow music and hold each other close, and her head on his shoulder anddddd… you're not too far off bc we might see this someday 😭

thank you so much for reading, sweetheart <3 you're so fkn sweet for always giving me feedback like this and for making me and the story feel special. i do feel so much comfort, so thank you for this 🥺 love you 🤍

[andvys]

Tattoo Kiss PART 25

-Y/N staring at Eddié´s lips!!!! OMG! Like she should total kiss him

-“That he could´ve had a chance?” OF COURSEEEEEEE. HE´S EDDIE

-"You are too perfect, too out of reach” But Eddie´s perfect too

-I'm still kinda angry for how Robin´s treating Eddie

-Ahhhh. Gareth teasing Eddie! HAHAHA

-Jeff giving false hope? Let me believe that it´s not false hope

-Chrissy and Gareth doing the same is giving besties

-Eddie´s scared of Heather? Why? HAHAHA

-"You refuse to believe that she could ever love you” Ahhhhh

-Again, I HATE how Steve just hurt Y/N like that, like she has no more confidence bc of him! I hate him!

-"Maybe she wNts to be with you but she´s struggling” DING DING DING

-“Eddie would rather get his heart broken than be the one to break yours” Just with that line, HE´S THE ONE. Like Steve acted selfishly when he started to flirt with other girls and with Nancy when Reader was stills with him, he accused Reader to be flirty with other guys when she wasn´t, he kissed her at a party, after what asshole Ray did, knowing that it could be stressful for her!

-“She probably thinks she isn´t good enough” AWWWW, poor Y/N

-“You seem to make each other happy” Yes, they doooo

-Wayne´s the father-in-law (or smth like that?) of Y/N (In my mind!)

-Awww Eddie smiling when he thinks abt Y/N

-“She always chose the sits next to me” AHHHHHH! Even if she didn´t realized that was so so sweet of her!

-Y/N loves Eddie

-They´re besties too

-“who in their right mind would buy their ex boyfriend a birthday present?” HAHAHA she´s right, I feel like it would be kinda uncomfy giving Steve the gift too

-"Then you and Steve can become geeks together” HAHAHAHA

-“You only like me cause I drive you around when your mama Steve is working” AHHH That´s hilarious

-"Eddie is the chaotic dad and i´m the cool babysitter” AHHHHH

-"The babysitter who is secretly dating both the mom and the dad” I WISH!

-AHHHH when Y/N remembers Steve being sweet with her and then when he broke her heart, that hurts, like back then I suppose at the beginning of their relationship, he was good and sweet, then he changed

-"The old him” the one that was good with Y/N and not “possessed” by the jealousy demon?

-"You kept holding onto something that died a long time ago” AHHHHH that hurts

-Poor Steve! Maybe he should start dating Eddie and Reader (Like Dustin said, not me!) and he won´t be alone

-"How´d you manage to keep the good looks?” AWWW, she´s so sweet!

-"You should start playing DnD with the guys” “You mean with Eddie?” YESSSSS OF COURSE! ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!!

-"Him and Eddie pending time together?” Yes! That´s how their love story begins HAHAHA

_"Eddie also loves KFC” Not Y/N trying to make Eddie and Steve date HAHAHA

- He called her honey… UMMM, idk what to think about it

-"The reason is someone else” EDDIEEEEE

Ok, I liked this chapter, the Dustin and Reader parts I loved them! I hope that you write more scenes where Eddie and Reader, Steve and Reader or Steve, Eddie and Reader are in the same places or something like that, but I like that all of them were thinking about the other

-🩷

I’m so happy you liked this chapter!!! 🤭 you’re absolutely getting more of Steve, Eddie and reader together in the next chapter! And it won’t be angsty 🤭

Gareth and Chrissy as besties? Oh my god, maybe they should meet!

I get why you’re mad at Robin, I am too even tho i’m the one who writes this story 😭. She just kinda dropped her friendship with Eddie and started favoring Steve.

Eddie is scared of Heather cause she’s intimidating and readers bodyguard 😂 no guy will ever be good enough for her best friend

Enemies to lovers with steve and eddie? i’ll have to agree 😌

[into-control]

that’s amazing of you :) our situation is. a bit complicated. because we are in different countries .. but they will be up here someday// I’m definitely wishing the best for you and your partner. I hope you both get to close the distance eventually :). Idk why I feel like a proud parent or something lmao I’m just happy to hear that you’re doing great and flourishing

ahhhh thanks buddy. the whole thing with you-know-who was perhaps one of the most tiring experiences of my life and it honestly made me feel pretty awful about myself. i don’t remember if i ever talked about that side very much. but i was so fucking happy when i finally got over her a couple years ago, and now i know what it feels like for somebody to love me as much as i love them :)

[sungbeam]

Hello!

Firstly I wan’t to apologize for the spam once again 😭 but I wanted to show you how much your writing means to me and to all of deobiblr since I see that you’ve been struggling with reblogs :(

I just want you to know that it’s not your fault, nor is it your writing. While I was going through the LIU ML I did notice that there was quite a huge difference in reblogs and interactions but please don’t think that it’s because of your writing! Tbh it can be a multiple of factors such as people only reading fics for certain members (even though they’re missing out on amazing stories but wtv-), ghost readers, people forgetting to reblog the second part (cough cough), shyness ig??, not realizing it was a part of a series, they’re no longer active to complete reading the series, they want to wait fir the series to end before reading it all in one go, or because they simply don’t know that reblogs weigh more than likes on tumblr :(

So…. Yeah! I just wanted to reassure you that all your fics hold such a dear place in my heart and I never want you to forget how much joy you, your fics, and your writing bring to people! Including me haha

I’m also wishing that my reblogs helped at least a little with getting more exposure to the LIU series and provide you with a little comfort that people are still reading and appreciating! Sorry, I feel like I keep repeating myself haha ^^;

Oh! And I’ve also read all your replies and thank you! Ily too 😭🫶 I wish my reactions were a little fresher but I kept up with the series since the beginning basically and I haven’t re-read them (YET!) so my reactions might be a little dull or repetitive/doesn’t bring anything new to the table but thank you for taking your time to read through all of them!

I’m a bit of a blog lurker sometimes so tbh I just read whatever was posted/asked LMAOOOO so I can’t remember exactly where I get some info from but I do know that it was said at one point 😭

Ok sorry that I keep trailing on but thank you once again for taking your time to read this and all my other reblogs and I only wish you the absolute best! Good vibes, lots of love, showers with kisses and roses for you forever! 😚

(P.s. you can decide if you want to answer this publicly or like… subtweet me or smth idk 😭 I was just a lil too shy to be all up in your dms HAHA ok bye fr now muah)

omg user floatingpluto ur so precious 🫂 PLS don't apologize for the reblog spam, i literally had the absolute time of my life both reading thru ur tags AND replying to them (´Д⊂ヽ sometimes idek what to say in response to reblogs bc i feel like i get repetitive even tho i just wanna express my appreciation :')) but it was really fun replying to urs !!!

ahhhh the trouble w reblogs 😔🤧 i fear it's a struggle for everyone nowadays, and i feel a little silly being such a child abt them when ik i prob get a little more interaction than some others :') but thank u for being so kind and considerate abt it!! no matter what, ur reblogs did help me in more ways than one and i appreciate that so, so much. also w the less interactions bit, i def understand that things r going on in people's lives other than fanfic, which is what i keep trying to remind myself of when i do have those really low days of interaction </3 ig my insecurity is just glaringly obvious nowadays 🤡😭

ALSO no worries abt whether or not u bring something "new" to the table in ur replies TT i personally thought they were quite fun and unique!! take ur time w the rereads, and don't feel like u have to just cuz u told me u were gonna !! 😋

much love and hugs!!! 💖💖