#ah yes the roulette wheel of my interests | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

doubleleoenergy · 3 years ago

Text

V. Off to the Races, Lolita Series

My old man is a tough man, but he got a soul as sweet as blood-red jam. And he shows me, he knows me. Every inch of my tar-black soul.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: bestfriendsdad!Andy Barber x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, mentions of alcohol, mentions of relationship violence, rape, and murder, pet names, passionate sex,

Words: 4025 (I am SO sorry for this)

Summary: Andy takes y/n on a weekend getaway while Jacob and his friends are out of town.

Two weeks had dragged on since Andy had gotten a taste of y/n’s sweet nectar, and since then nothing. It wasn’t like they really had the chance to be alone, Jacob and the other boys weren’t going out late at night or on the weekends as they usually did. Andy had to settle for his hand every night, reminiscing on their oral escapades.

It didn’t help that Andy had been swamped with cases, court appearances, and tons of paperwork. He had spent every night of those two weeks at the office until his eyes physically couldn’t stare at the cases in front of him anymore. Andy even showed up on the weekend to fit in a little extra work, hoping it would help take care of some of the load but to no avail. He was completely and thoroughly exhausted, and he could tell that y/n was as well.

She had worked directly with him on a few late-night cases, the rest of the time being spent shadowing Neal fucking Loguidice. It was great for her internship to do so, getting new perspectives of different attorneys in the office, but it was not as good for his jealousy.

By Thursday evening the heavy load of cases and paperwork had seemed to disappear, and Andy was grateful for being able to leave the office at a decent hour. With y/n in tow, he ducked into his Audi, waiting for y/n to get comfortable in the passenger seat before roaring the vehicle to life.

“Is it just me, or have these past two weeks been exhausting?” He asked, glancing out of the corner of his eyes at y/n as he drove. Andy knew her answer before she even opened her mouth, a loud groan leaving her lips as she rested her head back against the seat.

“You’re telling me, if I have to hear Neal mention one more time about his new kickboxing class, I’m going to gouge my eyes out. He really fucking sucks.” Her words elicit a chuckle from Andy’s lips, a smile of pride seeping onto his face. It was good to know she didn’t have any interest in Neal.

“We should do something fun this weekend, just the two of us. Maybe you’ll let me finally take you on a date” He suggested, lulling his car to a stop at the next red light. Y/N raised an eyebrow in his direction, cocking her head to the side. “Andy, I already told you, I don’t do relationships.”

Andy rolled his eyes, shifting in his seat to look at her. “Yeah, you said that, but I’m in it for the long game, y/n. You have to admit there’s something between us.”

“Andy…” She sighs, watching the sun setting out the passenger window. Sure, there was definitely something between him. Was he different from all the other guys before that she had hooked up with? Yes, of course. First off, she had never been with a man his age, someone with a career, a house, and a car of his own. He even had a pension and a life insurance policy; she hadn’t hooked up with any men who had those.

The car is silent as they pull into the garage, Andy immediately shutting off the car and sitting back in his seat. Y/N looked down at her lap awkwardly, reaching for the door but Andy stopped her with a tug to her wrist, getting her to look up at him.

“You want to be an attorney, right?” The question has her furrowing her brows, looking at him as if he had said ‘You know the sky is blue, right?’

“Of course, you know that, but what does that have to do with-” Andy cuts her off by holding up his index finger, loosening his grip on her wrist. “Attorneys defend their cases in court to a judge or jury, who then ultimately decide the fate of their clients. Their job is to convince someone that their claim is right.” Andy rests one hand on the steering wheel, a smug smirk crossing his lips.

“Saturday morning we’ll leave for a weekend getaway, planned by yours truly. This will all be part of my case as to why we should be together, no more games, officially together. You as the judge will examine the weekend's evidence and conclude on whether we should be together. If you decide after the weekend that you don’t think so, I’ll leave it alone and we won’t have to discuss it ever again. But I’m hoping for it to change your mind.” Before she can protest, Andy holds his hand up. “And I’ll even get us a room with two beds, no funny business, promise. So...will you hear my case out?”

Y/N had to admit, she had never been chased by a guy so ferociously, but what was the harm in seeing the evidence and getting a free weekend vacation out of it? She stuck her hand out for him to shake, a professional gesture for their arrangement. “Alright, I will gladly hear your case out.”

Andy had arranged it all down to the last detail, including lying to Jacob and the boys about an important conference for work that they both had to attend that weekend. Of course, he didn’t suspect a thing, he went out of town for conferences all the time, and thus his plan was set.

When Saturday morning finally arrived, Andy was feeling great. He had gone for an early morning jog, took a long shower, and even trimmed his hair and beard. Andy dressed in a plain white t-shirt and dark denim jeans, packing his bag with his essentials for the evening before walking out into the kitchen. As usual, the boys were all still asleep, hungover from their late-night game of shot roulette, which left the house extremely quiet.

Andy couldn’t help the smile creeping onto his face as he walked into the kitchen and saw y/n waiting at the counter, a familiar plate of breakfast and coffee next to her. “It’s a Saturday, you know that right? Thought breakfast was for workdays.” He stated, moving to sit at his usual spot beside her.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” She responded, taking a swig from her coffee mug. Andy’s eyes wandered along her body; her outfit of the day effortlessly beautiful. She wore a tight white bodysuit tucked into a pair of figure-hugging mint shorts; a pair of matching wedges slipped onto her dainty feet to complete the look.

“You’re right, it is.” Andy’s silverware moved to cut into his meal, chewing thoughtfully as he thought about the day ahead. “You’d think that by making me breakfast you were trying to plead your own case.” He teased, engulfing another bite of his food.

Y/N rolled her eyes at him, moving to set her now empty coffee mug in the sink. “I’ve got nothing to plead, you on the other hand, do.” She waits with her back to the counter, playing on her phone until he finishes his meal, setting his plate in the sink behind her.

“Are you ready to go?” He questioned, grabbing his duffel bag off the floor. Y/N followed suit, grabbing her tiny black suitcase and following him out into the garage. Andy grabbed the suitcase from her, setting it with his own bag in the trunk before they both got into the car, backing slowly out of the driveway.

It was a beautiful day out, the sun was shining, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” Y/N asks, crossing her legs.

“Would it matter? You’re not familiar with the state anyhow.” He retorted, pulling up the address on his GPS as they started on their journey.

“True, I just want to know what I’m getting into.” Her eyes locked on the GPS, noticing the destination was an hour away. “Rockport? What’s in Rockport?” She asked, raising a shapely brow in Andy’s direction.

“Well for starters, it’s along the ocean, which guarantees a good view. It also has great shopping, beaches, and restaurants. It’s a nice little getaway.” Andy turns on the radio as the car goes silent, y/n admiring the view as they drive.

The silence in the car was comfortable, both of them enjoying each other’s company, and before they knew it, they had arrived at their home for the weekend. They were staying at the Cove at Rockport, a beautiful inn right along the ocean. It was even more classy than the photos online, and Andy made quick working of getting them checked into their room.

Andy and y/n walked together down the long hallway to their room, room one on the first floor. Unlocking the door with the key provided, Andy pushed it open, allowing y/n to step in and take in their living arrangements.

The main room was huge, donning a cute little breakfast nook adjacent to the kitchen, a living room, two separate bedrooms, and a bathroom. The decor was all beach themed, of course, shades of blues and beiges filling their sights.

“This definitely deserves a point towards your case.” Y/N admitted, chewing on her bottom lip. It was honestly the nicest place she’d ever stayed at, more luxurious than what she had expected. Walking further into the space, y/n pushed open the sliding door, the sound of waves hitting the shore bursting through her ears as she took in the view. It truly was gorgeous, much different from shitty life in Ohio.

“So, I did alright with my first piece of evidence?” He chortled, leaning back against the cool wall. Y/N continues to take in the view outside, a light breeze picking up and blowing her hair off her shoulders.

“I’d say so.” She shuts the sliding doors and walks back to investigate the sleeping spaces, setting her bags in the room with a large picture of a beach umbrella over the bed, the smaller of the two. “Well, what else do you have planned for your case? Because if this is it, I can come to a decision right away.”

Andy moved his own bag into the opposite room before walking into y/n’s and sitting down on the plush comforter. “I wanted to start the trip with a walk downtown, explore some of the shops before we get ready for our dinner reservations at six.”

Ah, he even sprung for reservations, what a smart man. “Sounds good, let’s explore.” Y/N got up from the bed, grabbing her purse before Andy followed her out, walking out of their room towards the lobby.

Downtown was only about a five-minute walk from the inn, an enjoyable stroll filled with laughter from a group of teens on the sidewalk, birds chirping in the trees, and the smell of fresh muffins wafting from the window of a bakery on the street. “Well, where should we look first?” He asked, turning to look at y/n for guidance on where she’d like to go.

They had spent about two full hours downtown, walking in and out of all the little shops, picking up a blueberry donut to share from one of the bakeries, and taking photos of each other along the Rockport streets. Most of the photos Andy took of y/n were very Instagram appropriate photos, staring down the camera and moving from angle to angle. On a few photos though, Andy would say something to make her laugh, snapping away at her genuine reaction.

Before long they were walking back into the room to get ready for their dinner reservations. Andy was pulling out all the stops, dressing up in one of his nicest black suits, a matching black tie situated atop a crisp white button down. He spritzed on some of his favorite Versace Eros cologne, adjusting the laces of his dress shoes before walking out into the living room. Andy had ordered a dozen red roses to be delivered to the suite, arriving shortly after he had finished getting ready, sitting on the couch with the flowers and waiting for y/n to walk out. God, he hoped this wasn’t too cheesy.

After about five minutes of waiting anxiously, the door to y/n’s room opened, noticing her delicate silver peep toe heels first. His eyes roamed up her toned and tanned legs, settling on her baby blue dress, off the shoulder with slightly puffy sleeves, a tie in the front revealing just a bit of cleavage. The ruffles on the hem swayed as she moved, her eyes taking in the sight of him as well with the flowers.

Suddenly Andy stood up, holding out the flowers to her. “You look incredible, Lolita.” There went the pet name again, though it was always so fitting for her. “Shall we go?” Y/N silently thanked him for the flowers, taking a whiff of their sweet aroma before setting them down on the counter near the door. She followed Andy to his car, waving him off when he tried to open her door for her. Her expression stayed on Andy the entire drive, inhaling his intoxicating cologne, licking her lips. Y/N had to admit, he always looked great in a suit.

The restaurant was only a ten-minute drive from the inn, a little classy seafood restaurant along the ocean coast. It was packed with people, a quartet playing Sinatra’s finest hits off in the far-right corner of the room. Some people were dancing, some were sitting along the bar against the left wall, while most were diners enjoying their meals at their table.

Y/N and Andy were led to a table near the back wall facing the ocean view. Andy started off by ordering a bottle of chardonnay for the table, taking in the sight of y/n lit up by the candlelight provided.

“This is beautiful, Andy.” She exclaimed, her eyes scanning the room and all the happy couples around them. Andy smiled before opening his menu, mulling over what to order. “I told you, I’m great at pleading my case. And as you know, I almost always win.” Y/N rolled her eyes, opening her own menu. “Key word, almost.”

After deciding on what to eat, Andy getting the seafood gnocchi and y/n ordering the lobster bisque, Andy poured them each a glass of wine, holding his up towards hers. “Cheers to an unforgettable night.” He exclaimed, clinking their glasses together before they each took a sip of their respective glasses.

As they wait for their food, Andy and y/n sit and talk more about their likes and dislikes, what they want in the future, and the day they had downtown. Their food arrives during the conversation and they continue to talk while they indulge in their meals, all the food just as incredible as the atmosphere.

About thirty minutes later Andy and y/n take in their last bites of food, sitting back and enjoying the liveliness around them. As they waited for their check to arrive, the sound of Sinatra’s hit ‘It Had to Be You’ started drifting from the quartet. Andy smiles, holding out his hand towards y/n as he stares down at her. “Dance with me?” He asks, taking in her surprised expression before she scoots herself out of her seat, grabbing his hand as he led her over to where the other couples were dancing. Andy places his hands on the small of her back, y/n wrapping her own around his neck as they sway to the tune.

“This is definitely not as good as dancing together at the club.” She joked, making Andy laugh. “Well, technically I wouldn’t call that dancing. More like...gyrating, or maybe dry humping? Definitely not the same.” Her smile brightened; his eyes locked on her as they moved. It was as if they were the only people there, like the whole world stopped to see them dance.

“For nobody else gave me a thrill. With all your faults, I love you still. It had to be you...Wonderful you...It had to be you…” The quartet crooned, the song ending and a few of the couples clapping in response. Andy’s eyes bore into y/n’s, licking his lips before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her lips, holding it for a moment before y/n pulled away, clearing her throat and letting go of his neck.

“M’sure the bill is on the table.” She stated, walking back towards their chairs. Andy let out a huff of disappointment, following her over to the table and paying for their meal before they walked in silence back to their car.

The car ride felt riddled with tension, the tension continuing to build as they got back to the room. “We need to talk, y/n.” He admitted as the door of their suite shut behind them, crossing his arms against his broad chest. Y/N leaned her weight against the wall between their bedrooms, tilting her head up to look at him.

“Andy…” She started, becoming silent again and chewing on her bottom lip. Andy’s stance becomes more tense, taking a step closer to her. “I want you, y/n. And not because of how mind-blowingly attractive you are. You are intelligent, thoughtful, and selfless. You’re not stuck up or fussy about material items. You make me feel like I’m in my twenties again, you make me feel like I’ve never felt with another woman.”

He takes another step closer to her, hovering above her due to his height. She puts her hands on his chest to stop him from moving, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“I’m terrified of this, Andy. How do I know you won’t turn out just like my piece of shit father, huh?” She leans her body weight against the wall, peering up at him.

“Look, I know how you feel, alright?” He moves away from her again, his back turned towards her as his hand ruffles through his hair. “I know firsthand, my father...he’s also in prison. He went to prison when I was young for raping and murdering a 19-year old woman. I vowed to myself to never ever treat a woman without kindness and respect. Though my marriage with Laurie wasn’t perfect, I’m sure she’d say that I was nothing like my father, and nothing like yours for that matter.”

He turns back to look at her, arms outstretched. “I promise I will never hurt you; you can trust me. I’m all in, y/n. And I meant everything I said.”

She processes his story of his father, realizing they had a lot more in common than she once thought. Her heart is beating so fast she thought it might splatter in her chest, closing the distance between the two quickly. Her hand came up to grip his jaw, leaning up and kissing him lovingly. They continue to kiss, y/n parting her lips to allow Andy’s tongue to slip inside, exploring her mouth and causing her to moan. After a moment they both pull away breathless, her hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Okay...I’m all in too, with you.” Her words are all Andy had been wanting to hear, gripping her waist and kissing her lustfully this time, pushing them backwards until they both hit the wall again with a groan. His lips trailed a line of kisses down her neck and along her collarbone, shrugging off his suit jacket and making quick work at the buttons on his shirt, practically ripping the buttons off completely.

Y/N is tilting her head back against the wall, helping to push off his now open shirt to expose his God-like torso. This was her first time seeing his chest, running her cool fingers against his abs as he kissed back up her neck and into her mouth.

He plays with the fabric on sleeves of her dress, pushing them down so that she can fully shimmy out of the pale blue fabric. Her breasts are on full display, no bra to pull down, and Andy growled at the sight of them. They were just as perky as they had been while peeking through her outfits.

He nudged her body in the direction of his bed, hands making quick work of his belt and pulling down his trousers, kicking them into a pile as he walked into the bedroom after her in only his Calvin Klein briefs. Andy moved forward to kiss her again, knocking them both over onto the bed, a breathy laugh escaping her throat.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful, my little Lolia.” He purred, his hands coming up between them to knead over her delectable breasts. Y/N cried out from the touch, grinding her hips up into Andy’s to evoke a similar noise from him. “Andy, need you…” She whined, her back arching off the bed, her panties rolling against his clearly clothed hard cock.

He slipped his hands lower, teasing his fingertips along her folds, already slick with her desire. “Need what, Lolita? Need you to tell me exactly what you want.” Her hands rub his cock through the thin fabric, a whine of impatience leaving her lips.

“Need you inside me, Andy. Please, fuck my pussy.” Her words ignite an animalistic groan from his lips, pulling off her and scooting her up further onto the bed until her head touched the pillows. He quickly tugged off his boxers, stepping out of them before shimmying her out of her panties, tossing them aside.

His eyes grew dark as he took in her naked form in front of him, stroking his cock. She really was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on, and she was all his. Andy moved onto the bed, hovering over y/n with his cock dragging against her glistening folds. He was bigger than the guys she’d been with before, and the thought alone excited and terrified her. Her fingers land on the skin of his shoulder blades, pressing in lightly as she locks eyes with him.

“Andy, please.” She begs again. Andy keeps his eyes on hers as he pushes in slowly, giving her time to adjust as he moves inch by inch into her cunt. Her nails dig a bit deeper into his skin, mewling as he continues to press into her until he finally bottoms out, holding himself in place.

“God, my little Lolita, you’re so fucking tight...you’re milking my cock and I haven’t even moved yet. Do you want me to move?” He leant down and pressed a passionate kiss to her lips, waiting for her mumbled ‘mhm’ against him before he rolled his hips into hers.

The pace started slowly, building up speed with every little noise y/n’s mouth made, coming undone underneath him with each thrust. They continued to share soft kisses, moaning into each other’s mouths, y/n’s hands locking around his neck.

“Andy.” She breathed, her walls tightening and releasing around him. “Wanna cum for you.”

Andy quickened his pace, kissing along her pulse point on her neck. “Cum for me, Lolita. Want to feel you cum on my cock.” It doesn’t take her long after his sentence before she’s tightening her walls again, crying out as her orgasm rips through her. Her eyesight is full of stars, and it takes a second for her to regain her vision, focusing on Andy’s face once she does.

“M’gonna cum in this pretty cunt, fill you up to the brim.” He states, thrusting a few more times before coating her walls with his release. He stills inside of her for a moment before pulling out slowly and plopping down with his back on the bed next to her.

They both lie in silence, staring up at the ceiling, panting. The sex was incredible, better than they both could’ve imagined. Andy’s arm wraps loosely around y/n’s shoulder, tugging her into his chest and pressing a loving kiss to her forehead.

“You’re mine now, it’s official.” He looked down at her with a lazy smile, watching as her fingers began to trail up and down his chest. “Guess you could say I won yet another case.”

“Shut up, Andy.”

Tagging those who may be interested. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list: @my-divine-death @blackwiddows @sokovianheadtilt @fuckandfluff @rattlemyb0nes @rootcrop @turtoix @sylvielaufeydottirr @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @ccmarvelxx @rebelemilu @tenaciousperfectionunknown @agentofbarnes @serendipityrogers

#doubleleoenergyseries: lolita #DLE Series: Lolita #andy barber #andy barber x reader #andy barber x female reader #andy barber smut #andy barber x reader smut

158 notes · View notes

inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 3 years ago

Text

We Were Something, Don’t You Think So? [Chapter 2: The Middle Of Nowhere]

You are a Russian Grand Duchess in a time of revolution. Ben Hardy is a British government official tasked with smuggling you across Europe. You hate each other.

This is a work of fiction loosely inspired by the events of the Russian Revolution (1917-1923) and the downfall of the Romanov family. Many creative liberties were taken. No offense is meant to any actual people. Thank you for reading! :)

Song inspiration: “the 1” by Taylor Swift.

Chapter warnings: Lots of shouting, if you never learned about the Russian Revolution then here's your mini crash course, references to historical stuff like violence and disease, Kroshka the mule emerges as the only emotionally stable character.

Word count: 4.1k.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing): HERE.

Please let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! 💜

Taglist: @imtheinvisiblequeen @okilover02 @adrenaline-roulette @youngpastafanmug @m-1234 @tensecondvacation @deacyblues @haileymorelikestupid @rogerfuckintaylor @yourlocalmusicalprostitute @im-an-adult-ish @someforeigntragedy @mo-whore

I wake up feeling harder, as if sleeping on the ground with all its stones and cool indifference has taught my spine to straighten, to endure. This is a welcome revelation. I will need to be resilient, for my family and for myself. I also wake determined to set things right with my rescuer. I am a perfectly charming person, Mother and Papa have always said so; I’m not painfully shy like Olga, or aloof like Tati, or rather dull like Maria, and I certainly don’t run around putting frogs in people’s shoes like Anastasia. I make for excellent company. Surely Ben will realize this and we will become inseparable travel companions.

Outside in the overcast brisk morning air, Ben is already busy tacking the mule. He glances over and tosses me an apple. It bounces out of my floundering hands and rolls off into the woods. This is not an auspicious start to the day.

“You’ll still have to eat that,” Ben says. “There’s no extra food. I was only able to ask for as much as I could justify needing myself.”

“Right.” I go fetch the apple—rummaging around in leaves and sticks and shrubs—and take a bite, even though it’s bruised and definitely tastes like dirt. I beam at Ben triumphantly. I am tough! I am daring! I am enchanting! I can pull my own weight on this journey!

Ben doesn’t seem to notice. He pats the mule’s thick brown neck and smiles fondly at her. “How are we feeling this morning, Kroshka? Hmm? Who’s a lovely mule? Who’s going to take us all the way to the Trans-Siberian Railroad without even one measly word of complaint? That’s right, you are! Yes you are!” He lands a smacking kiss on the velvety grey fur of her muzzle.

I attempt polite conversation; more than that, I endeavor to learn about my dashing yet evasive rescuer. “So, tell me Ben, have you worked for Sir Buchanan long?”

“Four years,” Ben replies curtly.

“And you are…” I think of his notebook. “A…writer of some sort for him…?”

“I’m his press attaché.”

“Ah.” I recognize the French word for ‘attach,’ but not its meaning in the context of employment with an ambassador. “I can’t say I know what that entails.”

“I handle Sir Buchanan’s relations with the Russian newspapers. Drafting statements and briefing him on local opinions and the like. And since his health has declined, I find myself delivering some of his particularly confidential correspondence.”

“Oh, I see. And he could spare you for this mission? It seems like a burden that would be better carried by a man with military or exploratory experience.”

“My Russian is passable. And I can tolerate rougher conditions than most.” He points to a pile of clothes he’s laid out on a tree stump. “Those are for you. There’s a stream out that way.” He flicks a thumb towards the east. “Get ready however you need to, but be prepared to leave in fifteen minutes.”

I examine the clothing: plain and practical undergarments, a heavy wool sweater, stockings, boots, and something unexpected. I hold them up with clammy hands. “These are…” I swallow noisily. “Trousers.”

“Yes. They’re travel attire. Comfortable and easy to maneuver in if we need to move quickly.”

“I’ve never worn trousers before.”

“I thought you were amenable to a…a…what did you call it? An adventure. A grand adventure.” He says this melodramatically, like there’s some humor in it. Like he’s mocking me.

“I suppose I am,” I mutter, still scrutinizing the trousers.

“Fifteen minutes,” Ben reminds me sternly. Then he begins to disassemble the tent.

I trudge off through the woods until I find the stream. I clean myself with ice-cold water, drink it down until my teeth ache, change out of my nightgown and into these strange new clothes—Trousers! Mother would lock me in church for a month!—and gaze up into the cloudy, pastel blue sky that peeks between the fingers of the trees. It is very still here, and cold, and deathly quiet. I try to remember the last time I was truly alone, without Mother or Papa or my siblings or servants or guards within shouting distance. There is none that I can remember; perhaps there is none at all. Out here in the Siberian wilderness I feel unmoored from civilization, diminutive, vulnerable, peculiarly inconsequential. I decide I don’t like being alone. By the time I return to our campsite, Ben is ready and waiting beside the loaded cart. His right hand is resting on a clunky metal monster with ‘Olivetti’ written on it.

“I’m a press attaché,” he says with a mischievous grin. “And you’re a typist.”

“A what?”

“You work for Sir Buchanan’s office as a typist. That’s our story, anyway. You came along to assist me during my audience with the former tsar, and now we’re traveling back to Sir Buchanan’s headquarters in Saint Petersburg. So if anyone happens to ask, that’s what you are to tell them. Oh, and you’re British. Your English sounds clean enough.”

“Alright,” I reply, still gaping at the metal monster like a black box with gnashing fangs. “But what is that?”

Ben’s jaw falls open. “You don’t…?” Then he rubs his forehead, sighing deeply. “Jesus Christ. You’ve never used a typewriter. Of course you haven’t. Great. Fantastic.”

“We always write by hand. My penmanship is flawless, Mother saw to that.” She’s still battling with Anastasia, but that’s a war that may go on as long as the one between the sun and the moon.

“Okay. Okay. This works out, actually. Because I’m not going to entertain you all day. So here is your assignment.” Ben slaps the back of what he tells me is a typewriter, and then waves for me to come closer. He reaches into the pocket of his coat and produces a British passport. Every line is filled out except for the name. He slides the paper into the machine and makes some bewildering adjustments. “So, you insert the paper, set the carriage—that’s this roller-type piece here—and type.” He taps forcefully on the keys until two words appear in the blank reserved for the passport holder’s name: Lana Brinkley.

“That’s me?” I ask doubtfully.

Ben smirks, amused. “That’s you.”

“So you could have given me a better name if you wanted to!”

“But then how would you learn humility?” He removes the fraudulent passport, shakes the paper until it dries, folds it into a neat little square, and slips it back into his coat pocket. “If you’re typing a longer message, the typewriter will ding when you’ve reached the end of each line. Then you use the lever to move the paper down, reset the carriage, and resume typing.”

I nod, but without much confidence. This seems complicated.

“You said you wanted a carriage,” Ben teases.

“Yes, one with magnificent draft horses and velvet seats and preferably no less than two servants. Not…whatever that is.”

“Well, if you’re going to pass for a typist, I’m afraid you must learn to type.” He finds me a stack of blank paper in his collection of bags and trunks, and then climbs into the front of the cart as I get into the back. The trousers, I hate to admit to myself, do make it easier to move around, although I’m not sure I approve of how much they accentuate the shape of my body. The thought of Ben looking at me in them gives me a plunging sort of feeling that is half-mortification and half-thrill…not that he has exhibited any interest at all. “Before we go any farther, do you have anything with you that I don’t know about?”

He means things like the heirlooms I have squirreled away in the large steamer trunk: the jewels sewn into my dress, the photograph. I can sense that he wouldn’t want me to have them, although I’m not sure why. In any case, I have no intention of giving them up. The jewels are the only thing of value that I have to trade if we find ourselves in a desperate situation. The photograph is the only string left that connects me back to my family, my home. “No,” I reply primly.

“Good.” He whistles at the mule and she tugs us through the trees and out onto the dirt road that leads, eventually, to the train station. As we ride joltingly along, the creaky cart wheels bumping over every rock and mound and muddy trough, I practice my typing: very slowly at first, and with only my index fingers. I read aloud as I go, gradually picking up speed.

“There once was a German princess born in the Duchy of Hesse. She was very beautiful but very shy. She had a wonderful talent for playing piano, but would run and hide if anyone asked her to perform in public. One day, when she was attending the wedding of her sister, the princess met a prince from a distant kingdom. They were only children, but they instantly knew they had found true love. They snuck off together and carved their names into a window pane. Over the years, each conspired to marry the other. They refused many suitors and wrote each other hundreds of letters. His family did not approve of the princess’s religion and lack of charisma; her family did not approve of the prince’s distant and troubled nation. But at last it became apparent to all that no earthly forces could keep the couple apart. Ten years after their first meeting, the prince and princess were finally married. And they lived joyously and peacefully in each other’s service for the rest of their days.”

Ben lights one of his hand-rolled cigarettes. The smoke doesn’t bother me; on the contrary, it reminds me of Papa smoking his pipe in his study, in the garden, as he read to us by the fireplace, as he danced with Mother in ballrooms back when she could still dance. It reminds me of home. “I’m not sure if you’ll ever give Shakespeare a run for his money, but I’ll admit I’m marginally entertained.”

I smile to myself, sentimental warmth rising in my face. “It’s Papa and Mother’s story.”

“Huh. I didn’t know your people were allowed to marry for love.”

By ‘your people,’ he seems to mean royalty, and there is some derision in his deep voice. “Well, surely duty must come first. But when love can accompany it, that’s a happy coincidence.”

“And what if duty compels you to marry a man who is, say, cruel? Or dreadfully boring? Or in love with another woman? Or who closely resembles a mole-rat?”

I resume my typing with a new exercise. For each letter of the alphabet, I type a French word that begins with it. “I don’t think that sort of thing happens very often.”

“But if it did.”

I shrug, not especially enjoying this topic of discussion. “Then duty comes first, as I said. But I believe most royal couples are perfectly content. At least nine out of every ten.”

“That many!” Ben marvels sarcastically. “Have you ever considered that your own personal experience, as pleasant as it may be, could be coloring your perception of how the world works?”

I ignore him and continue my typing. Attaché for A, bisou for B, croissant for C, doux for D…

After a moment, Ben says: “You aren’t going to regale me with another fairytale? I’m devastated.”

“I’m busy practicing my French now. Please don’t intrude.”

“You speak French as well as Russian and English?” He sounds impressed; for a split second anyway, just long enough for me to catch it like a firefly in my fist.

“And Italian, and Latin. And I’ve just started on Japanese.”

“But no German? That seems like it would be an easier beast to slay.”

“I’ve always purposefully avoided learning it, even though Mother’s family is German. I never envisioned myself marrying a German. I figured Maria could take that bullet. She doesn’t care, she’d marry anyone who could give her a castle and ten babies and a bulldog or two. I would say she was a milkmaid in a past life, but Mother’s heart would stop dead if she thought I subscribed to reincarnation.”

“Not fond of Germans?” Ben asks. “Well, who can blame you. Half the world isn’t fond of them at the moment.”

“I suppose they weren’t so awful before the Great War. But they’re rather boorish, aren’t they? They always sound like they’re angry. Like someone just stole their horse and they’re screaming at them from the front porch to come back or else.” I smile dreamily as I type. “I’ve always fancied the thought of marrying a prince from a glamorous, romantic kingdom. Maybe Italy or Greece. There has even been talk of me marrying Uncle George’s eldest son David. He’s rather beguiling. Tall and slim. Clear blue eyes like a lake. And he’s going to be the king of the British Empire one day, you know. We could holiday together in beautiful, sunny colonies like the Bahamas.”

“You’re still as important as all that? Important enough to make a marriage of that political significance, I mean.” Ben glances back at me and lifts one thick, dark, inquisitive eyebrow. “Seeing as your family doesn’t have a kingdom anymore.”

This is an insensitive thing for him to say. I frown down at the typewriter. “A wife almost always assumes the kingdom of her husband, so why should she require her own? She needs only sound breeding and a suitable temperament. And besides, we might yet return one day.”

Ben twists all the way around to stare at me, the reigns falling out of his hands. Fortunately, the mule seems to know her own way around. “I’m sorry, what?”

“It has been a brutal few years. The Great War, the supply shortages, the bad harvests…the people are frustrated, and understandably so. They lashed out blindly, at those who didn’t deserve it, at us. But the dust will clear. And when it does, I think the Russian people will come to their senses and realize that they want us back. That they need us.”

“Are you insane?” Ben snaps. “Are you utterly brainless? What’s floating around in that skull besides fiction and languages you’ll never use once you’re married off to some prince who only sees you as a broodmare?”

“How dare you! You can’t speak to me like this—!”

“For years, for a bloody decade, Sir Buchanan warned your father about what was coming. He tried to get him to moderate his views, to give the people more voice in government, to stop murdering them when they protested. And when none of that worked and the end was apparent, Sir Buchanan tried to convince your father to abdicate long before he did. Don’t you understand?! None of this needed to happen! Your family could have fled to Britain years ago, before the animosity against your father spread like wildfire across the globe, and Russia could have established their own parliament like Britain’s and negotiated a peace treaty to stay out of the war and none of us would be here now if not for your father’s selfish, pointless obstinacy—!”

“My father is a good man,” I choke out as hot, furious tears burn in my eyes.

“And he was a terrible ruler!” Ben shoots back like artillery. “He ordered protesters to be butchered, he sent untrained boys to die in some other country’s war, he clung to the throne for no one’s benefit but his own—”

“And what about my benefit?” I demand, still weeping, feeling monstrously like a child. “What about my mother’s and my sisters’ and Alexei’s? He must have feared for our futures if we were dethroned and left without any resources, any security, anyplace to call home—”

“He did you no favors,” Ben says harshly. “Half the country—the country that you obviously have not even a rudimentary understanding of—are moderates scrambling to secure the Provisional Government and disentangle themselves from the war while still somehow preserving their dignity and that of the millions of dead soldiers Russia has already laid on the altar. The other half are trying to instigate a wholesale communist revolution. There is no one, no one, who wants the tsar back. And you better pray to God that the communists don’t manage to seize power before King George gets your family out, or your father just might be guillotined on the steps of Saint Basil’s Cathedral.”

I bolt to my feet unsteadily, grip the side of the lurching cart, and leap out onto the dirt road.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Ben shouts after me.

I take off sprinting down the road, the wind whipping my face, sobbing as I run beneath the shadows of trees until my lungs are columns of flames and my legs feel wobbly and boneless. I can hear the pounding of the mule’s hooves approaching, the hurtling of wooden wheels, the slapping of leather reins. I am forced to slow to a vigorous march as my body betrays me, wheezing and aching and as ineffectual as a woman is so often assumed to be. The salacious trousers have come in handy once again. Who would have guessed.

Ben pulls up alongside me, reining in the mule to match my pace. “Hey! Get back in the cart!”

“I’ll walk the rest of the way to the railroad station.”

“It’s 200 more kilometers!”

“See you there.”

Now Ben jumps out of the cart. The mule, perplexed but not rattled, comes to a halt and waits in the middle of the road with her long ears angled in opposite directions. Ben rushes in front of me and leans down until we’re at eye-level, breathing heavily. I can smell smoke on him, and something else too: maybe cologne, maybe soap, maybe aftershave, maybe just the scent of a man in his prime. His lips are pink and full and soft-looking, I notice, as if for the first time. His cheeks are irritated and red from the wind; the ruthlessness of the climate here doesn’t agree with him. It is the only way in which I am stronger than he is. His green eyes are wide and blazing. “Get. In. The. Cart.”

“No,” I whisper, tears all over my face.

“You can’t just run off like that,” he pleads, less angry now. “Where are you going to go? There’s nothing out here except trees and…I don’t know…probably bears and wolves and maybe even Siberian tigers. You can’t get ripped apart by wild animals. Don’t you want to make it to London? To argue for your family’s liberation? They could find no fiercer advocate than you, of that I am convinced.”

“How would you possibly protect me from a bear?”

Ben unbuttons his coat and pulls up his white wool sweater to show me a pistol tucked into the holster clipped to his belt. “Just in case,” he says, smirking crookedly, lowering his sweater again. “Now I am keeping no secrets from you, and you are harboring none from me. We’re even.”

I nod, sniffling, thinking of my jewels and photograph hidden in the steamer trunk. My words are so strained I can barely hear them myself, my hands are trembling; hell, I’m trembling all over. The possibility is unimaginable. “Do you really think they’re going to kill Papa?”

Ben sighs, shaking his head. “No, I don’t,” he replies gently. “I think the Provisional Government will be able to keep the communists in check for now. I think they will leap at the opportunity to ship the former tsar off to Britain without the potential controversy of a trial and execution. And I also think we should get back in the cart and keep moving now.”

“I’m sorry your boss gave you this assignment and now you have to risk your life for a family that you evidently hate,” I lash out like a cornered animal, hissing and brandishing its glinting claws. “For a grand duchess that you hate. This must be an awful inconvenience for you.”

“It’s rather more complicated than that,” Ben says. “There’s some opportunity in it as well.”

Of course: his leather-bound notebook full of observations, his scrawled recollections to one day build into a famed article about our journey. An article full of what he truly thinks about me. I feel suddenly, violently nauseous. I feel horrified.

What happened to the grand adventure that I imagined? Where did it go?

And all at once, I can’t even remember how I pictured this journey unfolding; I can’t conjure up some rose-colored vision of me and Ben falling into an effortless friendship, flirting lightly and innocently, discovering new corners of the earth together, parting ways in London as lifelong confidants. Now I can only see Papa as he murmurs folktales older than Christianity with candlelight dancing on his smiling face, as he chases me and my sisters around the gardens with outstretched arms and sparkling eyes, as he carries Alexei from one room to the next when my brother’s joints are inflamed and excruciating and useless, as he never unburdens his mind to his wife or children but spends long afternoons chopping wood as the sun sinks into the west and the lines in his pale face grow deeper.

He couldn’t be responsible for bloodshed, for mercilessness. He’s not that kind of man. He’s never been that kind of man.

“We really should keep moving,” Ben prompts.

“Fine,” I fling back as I shove by him. I mop my tears away with the sleeve of my wool sweater, climb into the back of the wooden cart, and sit as far as I can from Ben with my bent knees hugged to my chest. I stare silently off into the forest as the mule drags us towards the Trans-Siberian Railroad, towards Moscow and Saint Petersburg and the Baltic Sea and London, towards the conclusion of this tenuous partnership and the redemption of my family. I am looking forward to soon never having to see Benjamin Hardy again, and yet I’m also not; and this is a difficult paradox to put into words of any language.

We don’t stop until it’s almost dusk. Ben hops down from the cart, leads the mule off the road by her bridle (and gives her an encouraging scratch on the forelock when she hesitates), and begins to set up camp in a small clearing encircled by heaps of frost grass. Dinner is loaves of bread again—even more tough and dry than yesterday—and metallic-tasting water from canteens. Dessert is a hand-rolled cigarette for Ben and a handful of honeyberries I found in the bushes for me. And when Ben grapples with the tent, I come over to help him with it just to prove I can.

Ben builds a fire, and we sit wordlessly on opposite sides of it with the reflections of flames in our eyes. Ben jots down today’s thoughts in his notebook, every so often glancing off into nowhere and tapping his chin thoughtfully with the end of his pen, biting his full lower lip absentmindedly as he sifts through the ocean of word in his head to fish out the right one. Meanwhile, I read my copy of Tarzan of the Apes. I stumble across a few English terms I don’t know—quixotic, cartography, constellations, ruminate—but I don’t ask Ben about them.

After a long time, when the moon and stars have emerged bright and ancient in the night sky, Ben closes his notebook and watches me. At first I ignore him. And then, eventually, I can’t anymore.

“What?” I ask irritably, keeping my place in Tarzan of the Apes with my pinky finger, which is nearly numb from the cold.

Ben’s words are calm, restrained, painstakingly chosen. Firelight is fierce and bloody on his face. “I had two infant brothers die of pneumonia, a perfectly preventable illness had they had access to good doctors and proper nutrition and a warm dry home, which they did not. I had a sister die in childbirth because there was no midwife available to attend to her. I have had friends come home from the war with limbs or half their faces missing, a fate which I myself am spared only because of my employment with Sir Buchanan. You have no idea what the world has been through while you were off playing board games and reading novels in greenhouses and lounging on lakeshores with your idyllic little family. You have no idea what life is like for the rest of us. And perhaps that’s not your fault, and it is unjust of me to resent you for it, and I must learn to temper this wrath I’ve been carrying around in my chest since childhood. But it’s still true.”

He stands, clutching his notebook with hands that are red from the savage Siberian wind, and vanishes into the tent.

#ben hardy fic #ben hardy x reader #borhap cast fic

79 notes · View notes

solartranslations · 4 years ago

Text

VF Nova Arcana Roulette

Where will the wheel land…

Throw a knife at the roulette wheel!

Press the ○ button to stop the wheel!

Grand Prize: Eyes

~*Scene: Training Grounds*~

Felicita: Hyah!

Debito: Bambina’s kicks are impressive as always

Nova: Well, I guess I can say she is quite skilled with them

Debito: Huh…they really must be if you’re actually praising her, Nova-chan

Nova: Don’t call me that!

Debito: But, instead of the kicks themselves, I like what she’s using to perform them more…

Nova: What do you mean?

Debito: I’m saying that Bambina has nice legs

Nova: Wh-what are you saying!

Debito: That’s what you end up looking at, right?

Nova: Don’t put me on the same level as you! Besides, it’s the eyes for me. I’m always drawn to people with a strong look in their eyes

Debito: Hah. Upstanding people say the weirdest things…

Nova: That’s just my honest answer

Debito: Alright, fine. So does Bambina qualify with your answer?

Nova: Wh…why do you care

Debito: *chuckle*…Okay, let’s test it out then

Nova: What?

Debito: Bambina! Come over here

Felicita: ?

Debito: Can look Nova in the eye for about 10 seconds?

Nova: Wha!

Felicita: ?

Debito: Don’t worry about why. Just stand face to face…and start

Felicita: …

Nova: …

Debito: Wow, he’s really doing his best…and, 5, 4, 3, 2…

(*smirk)

(*blush) Nova: …I, I can’t anymoooore!!!

Felicita: !

Debito: Hah, I guess that was too much for a kid…

~*End of Scene*~

Good Prize 1: Piano

~*Scene: Hallway*~

Felicita: !

Luca: Ojou-sama, what’s the matter?

Luca: A piano? Oh, yes, I can hear it faintly

(*running)

Luca: Ah…Ojou-sama! Where are you going?

~*Scene: Chalices Waiting Room*~

Felicita: *smile*

Nova: …Hm? Oh, it’s you

Felicita: ?

Nova: Yeah, I had some time so I was playing piano

Nova: My mother taught me when I was young, my hands just move on their own when I touch the keys

Nova: …It’s tiring just standing there. Have a seat

Felicita: ?

Nova: I was going to play another song. You can listen if you want

(*smile) Felicita: Okay

Nova: Since you’re here, I’ll play something you like. Any requests?

~*End of Scene*~

Good Prize 2: Cooking

~*Scene: Kitchen*~

Nova: Listen up. There’s been a lot of cases lately where food and ingredients are stolen from the kitchen

Liberta: Oh, so that’s why you’re guarding it

(*dash) Liberta: Since last time it was what you were making for Ojou that got sto…mngh!

Nova: Liberta, stop talking

Liberta: Gaah! Don’t cover my mouth!

Nova: Hmph, then keep your mouth shut. –Anyway, if you have any information on the culprit, report it to us

Liberta: Will do, Ojou!

Felicita: Yeah

~*Scene: Hallway*~

Felicita: !

Pace: *humming* I wonder what kind of food I’ll find lying around today~!

Pace: U, uwaaah~!

Felicita: !

Pace: *humming* I wonder what kind of food I’ll find lying around today~!

Pace: U, uwaaah~!

Felicita: !

~*Scene: Kitchen*~

Nova: I’ve got you now, kitchen ghost…

Pace: The kitchen ghost? They really call me that?

Liberta: It’s because you always take stuff from the kitchen

Pace: Huh? But anything that’s left in the kitchen is free to take, right?

(*rumble) Nova: No they aren’t! I’ll have you pay for eating my cooking…

Liberta: Like he said. Good luck, Pace!

(*shock)

~*Scene: Hallway*~

Pace: N, noo~…

Felicita: *sigh*

~*End of Scene*~

Consolation Prize: Not Sensitive

~*Scene: Courtyard*~

Nova: I’m…going to start getting taller…I will hit a growth spurt…

(*dramatic effect) Nova: So don’t call me a shrimp!!!!

~*End of Scene*~

Panel 01

Nova: Ugh…why’d I get hit too…

Panel 02

Nova: This is… The Seaman’s Hymn!

Panel 03

Nova: Keeping an eye on the norm is important too

Panel 04

Nova: That’s a good sound

Panel 05

Nova: Who called me a shrimp, show yourself!

Panel 06

Nova: I see…interesting

Panel 07

Nova: Let’s go. On my lead

Panel 08

Nova: This is actually quite good

Panel 09

Nova: I can’t get caught!

Panel 10

Nova: Guh…just a little more…and I’ll reach it…

~*End of Scene*~

(Back to Directory)

#nova #arcana famiglia #vascello fantasma no majutsushi #arcana roulette #solar translations #psp game #translation #releases #not sensitive #right

6 notes · View notes

spiiderwiick · 4 years ago

Text

If You Give A Clown A Rules Class

Well. They signed up for this. This is their fault and their fault only.

Wick sent off a text message to Patches. They had driven themselves to the park bright and early to prepare for this. Part of them expected her not to show, that it was all some act and she was going to just ghost them.

Instead their phone started to spew black goop from it and they dropped it in surprise. Ugh. There went their phone screen, they realized. God fucking damnit.

“why can’t you be normal for once in your fucking life.” They groaned.

The goop bubbled in response as Patches finished pulling herself through in the least normal way possible. Once reformed, she straightened up to loom above them, “You really should expect this from me. You’ve known me for a year, longer than anyone else has ever had the great misfortune to know me.”

“i know and i hate you.”

“It’s mutual.”

Somehow they didn’t think that was entirely true. Not after the last month, especially not after the night before.

“let’s just. get this over with.” Teaching a clown how to be a good polite little haunter was not something they ever thought they’d do, “i don’t think i need to give you much on like. how to scare people. you know setup and scare, you know the types of scares that work best for you. boo and help me are off limits. even if i know that if anyone could make boo scary, it would be you.”

“Yes.” Patches grinned toothily at that. Too many teeth for her got dang face.

“ugh. you need to keep arm’s length away from the patrons. i don’t particularly care if you get punched in the face for getting too close, but i do care if someone punches you in the face and manages to stab themselves on your of your five-thousand teeth.” Wick continued, they couldn’t even remember half their usual rules right now, there was too much going on, “and uh.... no. swears. but you don’t do that anyway, do you? um... personal attacks against patrons is off-limits. you can talk shit about whatever costume they’re wearing but not about them. but i think you can be more creative than that anyway.”

“Keep trying to appeal to my competitive nature, see what happens.” Fuck around and find out.

Wick rolled their eyes at her, “there are prizes for actors who do a really good job each night. sometimes it’s sweets. but you’d have to really stick to the rules for that.”

“I can’t be bought with sweets.” Patches replied flatly.

Wick knew that to be a lie, but didn’t comment on it, “i’m going to need to you stay wherever you are assigned. the entire time.”

Ah. Patches didn’t look so amused by that, “And where would that be?”

“i don’t know yet.” They admitted, “i was thinking the field, cause you’d have trees and a big area to play in. but i don’t know if the horses would be too scared of you. they’re brave, but you’re. you.”

“Very eloquent.”

“shut up i’m trying here. so could you.” Wick narrowed their eyes and glared up at her, “i thought about putting you in the clown hospital because you’re you, but that might be a little crowded for you to really stretch out and do fucked up monster shit.”

Patches took a moment to consider her options. She knew the show quite well, thanks to all her snooping. Most of her shenanigans had been on the main trail at the start of the show, she knew there weren’t cameras on majority of it. The field was a good option, but so was the graveyard near the end of the show, before the picnic pavilion. There were still trees there, though no actual cover to disappear into. Reluctant as she was to admit it, they may have picked the best option right off the bat, “I don’t know, horses are capable of evil, I’m sure we’d get along.”

What a fucking statement.

“that’s. you know what. okay. we’ll put you there. give the horses some space in case they’re scared of you though. you can be some fucked up monster that’s terrorizing the ghost town if you need to stay all the way away from them.” Wick groaned faintly. They were so sure this was going to become a disaster, even with the planning and fail safes.

“oh!” Fuck, they nearly forgot one of the other most important rules. They wave their hands in a back off gesture, “if you see anyone doing this. back off. it means someone is terrified to the point of it being a problem. i don’t care if it’s a kid or an adult. you see someone do that, you back the fuck off. okay?”

That earned another eye roll from Patches, “Whatever.”

“no. not whatever. you are not going to ruin the show or leave someone so traumatized they never come back. you know we can remove you now if we need to. maybe benrey’ll put you to sleep again for a few hours if you won’t cooperate.”

Oh. That was a threat. Normally she’d be proud of them for it, but the metaphorical wounds were a little too fresh still. Her eye narrowed at them, “Big talk for such a small spider. He can’t protect you forever.”

The temptation to call her out for her apparent inability to harm them was immense. Still, they didn’t want to push their luck. There was always a chance she’d get angry enough to push through it and do something she may or may not regret later. To them, deflection seemed like the best tactic, “this isn’t even about me. this is about you not ruining everything we’ve built. about us getting to keep the show alive. us not getting canned because some idiot decided to let the murder clown be a part of the show as a halloween treat.”

“You’re the idiot who made that decision.”

“i know i’m the idiot who made that decision. i’m just asking you not to make me regret it. that’s all. behave for one night. please.”

“Fine.” Getting Patches to agree to anything was like pulling teeth. Getting her to keep her word was another beast entirely, Wick knew, “Anything else I should know? Or are we done here?”

“well... i need you to stay in-set the whole time. you’ll go out there with the rest of the actors, and come back in at the end of the night with everyone else.” Their eyes dropped to the ground for a moment, “uhh... first hour of the show is family hour. it’s halloween, so a lot of families might be doing the trick or treating thing instead of coming to the haunt, so the first hour might be slow. you can.. act with your set-mates. keep each other entertained. just. go easy on them. there’s usually younger folks in that set. we don’t want our volunteers to be too scared to come back next year either.”

Patches let out an irritated huff, “So you picked the worst night, huh?”

“i picked the only night left.” Wick groaned again. Why was she so insufferable? No... They can save this, “halloween is the best night anyway. we get to go totally off the shits. crank up the volume, spin a big ol’ roulette wheel for what costume goes to what set. hell. if we’ve got enough clown costumes. we could make all of our ghost cowboys into your little yeehaw ghost clown minions.”

It was a good save, it even got an amused chuckle out of the alpha clown, “I’m listening.”

Oh god. “well. i’ll have to run it by casting.. and wardrobe..... and makeup. and ask anyone who pre-cast for the field but... it’s certainly doable. especially as light on actors as we usually are on halloween.”

Patches seemed pleased at the idea of lording over a bunch of tiny clowns. This was progress. Wick even managed a small grin up at her, “only other thing i can think of right now.. is please don’t tear up the lawn. or the trees. or any part of the park or the sets. the horses are on thin ice as it is for all the hoofprints, if there’s giant clown claw marks all over everything, they’ll kick us out for sure.”

“And you’ll be keeping an eye on me, I presume?”

“we’ve got cameras on the field, so yeah. ‘n benrey’ll be keeping a few eyes on you too.” Not ideal by the way the clown grimaced in response. Alright, “hey, do weird enough shit and maybe they’ll snag some of the security footage for our yearly video.”

“Careful what you ask for.”

“oh don’t worry, i’m regretting this already.”

“Good.”

This was going to be an interesting night.

#drabble #f2f #jpstandsforjustpatches

8 notes · View notes

nam00n · 4 years ago

Text

diabolik lovers tag game

Rules: Answer the questions and tag anyone else you wish to see participate~ Also tag me ( @vampiretsuki ) if you do this because I would love to read your answers~

i was tagged by @everything-laito thank you again corn !! 🥺

Who would you rather take to a night club, Carla or Azusa?

well ive never been to a night club (i dont even want to go but nvm) but since i have to choose, maybe carla ?? i think i would just get lost w azusa and it might be safer to go w carla

In a Science test would you copy Yuma’s test or Ayato’s test?

oh god i hate science 💔 and i d o u b t that ayato would be good at it so yuma

Would you rather have Kino and Azusa or Shin and Laito, as your Butlers?

LAITO and shin. yes. laito. absolutely. butlers are hot, i love them. knowing laito, he would do some,,, questionable things but im gonna go w it. what am i supposed to do ?? say no to him ??

Go on a date with Reiji at an Aquarium or go on a date with Subaru at a Cafe instead?

omg ive never been to an aquarium !! i would love to go there !! cafe dates are cute as hell too but aquariums 🥺 and reiji must know a thing or two about them so i can learn too, thats a win-win situation for me

Would you rather go support/see Kou at one of his Concerts or go support/see Shu at one of his Violin Performances?

ah i love kou but i cant take crowded and loud places so :( and listening to shu playing violin just sounds so calming, i will go w shu

In a Math Project would you team up with Ruki and Shin or with Reiji and Yuma? Who would fight less with each other?

AH YES IM NOT GOOD IN MATHS EITHER. i think i would rather be w reiji and yuma ?? i kinda like both of them and i dont know much about shin,,,, but i think ruki and shin would fight less ?? idk ruki just doesnt seem like a person you could fight w

Who would you put your bets on, Kanato eating the most chocolates or Ayato eating the most Takoyaki?

ayato. definitely ayato. he just loves takoyakis so much. and eating too many sweets can cause you an upset stomach and i do not want to see how kanato is screaming and crying ❤️

Sleep in Carla’s room, Subaru’s room or in Shu’s room? (You have the room to yourself, they aren’t there) Would you peak on their stuff?

subaru sleeps in a coffin so thats a big no from me. shus room actually looks really comfy ?? and i love the colors and all so shus room !! and no i dont think i would, i dont want to make shu angry so no thank you

You’re a princess of the Victorian era! Your father has ordered that you have a bodyguard.. who would you choose as your personal bodyguard, Laito or Kou?

god, if like 2 years ago i had to answer this question, that would be one of the hardest things to do bc i used to love kou so so much. but now laito is the one whos the closest to my heart so him. yes. bodyguard laito. jesus maybe thats a bad decision but nvm i love it 🤪🤪

Would you prefer to have Kino in his bat form as your pet or Shin in his wolf form as your pet instead?

I LOVE BATS sometimes i see them in the morning bc i wake up early and theyre cute 🥺 but !! shin is his wolf form looks so cuddly and soft so i choose him. would he bite me if i wanted to pet him? abso-fucking-lutely. would that stop me? no, never

Break a fight between Kou and Ayato or between Laito and Kanato?

LAITO IS SO HOT WHEN HES ANGRY OMG but im scared of kanato 🤧 i would normally choose laito however i do not want kanato to scream at me so kou and ayato. that will be interesting too

Who would you kiss on the cheek, who would you kiss on the forehead and who would you kiss on the eyelids? Options: Ruki, Subaru, Azusa

azusa deserves kisses on the forehead and nobody can prove me wrong. eyelids kisses seem really soft so subaru. and that leaves the cheek kisses to ruki

Take care of Shu and Reiji in their Chibi form or take care of Subaru and Kino in their Chibi form?

SHU AND REIJI. its so cute to imagine a mini reiji being annoyed w mini shu while hes just trying to sleep. MAYBE EVEN POKING HIS SIDE W A LITTLE ITTY BITTY BROOM ?!?!! omg

Sing/Perform in public Laito’s Q.E.D Song or Reiji’s Mr.ButterflyMask song?

I LOVE Q. E. D JESUS i cant sing BUT Q. E. D YES

Would you rather wear Ruki’s casual outfit or Yuma’s casual outfit?

yumas outfit is actually close to how im trying to dress like (modern vintage) so yuma !!

Go on a Vacation trip with Shu, Kino and Ayato at an Amusement park or go with Shin, Azusa and Subaru at a Water Amusement Park?

ive never been to an amusement park nor water amusement park but i think it would be more fun to go w shu, kino and ayato

Would you rather get lost in a forest with Reiji, Kino and Kou or with Ruki, Carla and Kanato?

once again, i do not want to be close to kanato in any possible way so reiji, kino and kou. i hope reiji would know what hes doing and during that i can be a scaredy cat w kino and kou

Who would you cook breakfast for? Who would you make a scarf for? and Who would you do a drawing for? Options: Kou, Azusa, Shu

i would love to make a scar for shu !! a very, very soft one. i would draw for azusa, he would really appreciate it and thats just melts my heart. and i would cook breakfast for kou. at least he would be happy (i really hope </3)

Participate in a Circus as Carla’s Knife thrower assistant or go to a Casino with Shin and be offered as a bet/reward by him in the Roulette Wheel game? (So if Shin looses you’ll be taken away by whomever won)

CIRCUS. CIRCUS. I A D O R E CIRCUSES. ah i love them so so much. and lets hope carla wont kill me '''''''' accidentally ''''''"

Who would you rather catch by accident taking a shower, Yuma or Kanato?

YUMA. i dont even have to explain it. just yuma

it was fun, once again thank you corn for tagging me !!

i tag @lav-oh i would love to see your answers 💗

#❦

8 notes · View notes

chuckepisodes · 4 years ago

Text

Chuck vs. The Crown Vic Part 2

Chuck called you to tell you what happened on his installation and to meet him at Casey's place. You walked and found Chuck and Casey standing there. "Hey." Chuck said walking over to you and kissing your cheek. "Hey. So what happened?" " This guy had all this money, someone dropped a bill, I picked it up and flasehd on it. It was fake." "Wow...Okay then." You then looked around to see if Sarah was here. "No Sarah?" "No. I thought you were going down to her apartment?" "Hadn't had the chance yet." "Alright get over here guys. Graham and Beckman are on." Casey said and you and Chuck quickly walked over to join him. "The serial numbers that Chuck flashed on are a strain of counterfeit currency that Treasury has been trying to crack for years. But perhaps we should wait to debrief you until Agent Walker arrives." Director Graham said. " Yes. Where is Agent Walker?" General Beckman asked. " Uh, ma'am, Agent Walker is currently... She, uh..." Casey started trying to think of something. " Agent Walker is currently suffering from a spastic colon, which acts up on her from time to time, so..." Chuck answered. " She has no history of that." Graham said. " Perhaps we should reschedule when Agent Walker is feeling better." Beckman suggested. " I'm fine. I'm sorry I'm late. Carry on." Sarah said, coming in and standing beside you. You smiled a little as you saw her and Chuck was just shocked. "As we were saying... Lon Kirk now devotes most of his time and money to aid projects, mostly foreign." " And we think he's the source? " Casey asked. "Not confirmed. However, we have intel that a major counterfeiter is in Los Angeles trying to acquire a new set of printing plates." " And how shall we proceed?" Sarah asked. "As far as Kirk is concerned, very cautiously. He's very well connected. He's hosting a charity event tonight at the New Constellation Yacht Club. Y/N and Chuck will go as guests. Casey and Sarah as staff." "Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael are coming back." Chuck said smirking at you. You blushed. "Sounds good." you said. "Good luck then." Beckman said before signing off. Sarah then walked out and you followed her. "Hey, hey, Sarah. Wait girl." " What's up?" "Um... Nothing. Nothing, really. Just, you know, good to, good to see you. Thought you'd be halfway to Bryce by now." "Why would you think that?" " I don't know, 'cause... he offers a pretty exciting life, I guess, sipping Mai Tai's in Jakarta, or... or... assassinating Afghani warlords, or whatever it is that you kids do for fun. I mean way more fun then hanging out with me and Chuck. I mean you must feel like the third wheel now and I know that ain't much fun. Plus... I can see you still have some feelings for him." "Y/N....I'm here because I have a job to do." "Right... Yeah... Yeah of course. The job. I know that." you said standing there, wondering what was going on with her. "I better, uh, I better get going as well. I gotta punch in. I told Chuck I would give him a ride back to work." you watched as Sarah nodded her head and began to walk away. "Sarah? " "Yeah?" "Should Chuck and I, should we carpool on our mission tonight?" " Be at my place at 8:00." Then Sarah was gone.

Later in the evening, you and Chuck were walking towards Sarah's door. You and Chuck were both dressed up for the evening. Chuck in a tux and you in a gorgeous dress.

Your dress:

"Did I mention how beautiful you look tonight?" Chuck said leaning closer to you. "You may have... But I don't get tired of it." you said blushing while looking up at him and smiling. You then arrived at Sarah's door. You were just about to knock when you hear Sarah shout. "It's open!" You and Chuck stared at each other, confused at how Sarah knew you were both there and then walked into her place. Looking around you noticed the knife in her alarm clock. " Not a morning person, aren't ya girl." " Well, it depends on the morning. So we're clear on everything? Eyes and ears on anything that can trigger a flash." Sarah said approaching the both of you. " Your cover is that you're a married couple, you're..." " Charles and Y/N Carmichael. We got it." Chuck said. "Should be fun right?" "It's work." "Right." you said nodding your head. "Now remember Casey and I will be close to you both the whole night." "Good." "Okay, well, uh... ready to go to work?" Sarah asked as she began to walk out. You were about to leave when Chuck stopped you. "One more important detail." Chuck pulled out the two wedding bands, slipping yours on. "One day Y/N...this will be real." "Promise?" "Promise." "I'm holding you to it." you quickly kissed him then exited out Sarah apartment.

You and Chuck arrived at the event, walking down the stairs arm in arm. "If you're expecting me to hit the tables tonight, I'm gonna need a no-interest spy loan or something like that. You'd be shocked what a government super-computer pays these days. " Chuck said into his ear piece. "The CIA staked us. You have a hundred." Sarah said into hers as she walked by you both, posing as a waitress. " Oh, well, that's ample." A man then came by with drinks and Chuck grabbed a martini as you grabbed a glass of wine. " Since when do you drink martinis?" you asked him. " Oh, oh, I don't, no. But Carmichael loves them." "I was going to say." you said laughing a little. "Oh. There he is. Let's go." You and Chuck made your way over to the roulette table. You were sure to sit right beside Kirk. "Ah! Roulette, eh? My favorite game aside from "Call of Duty. "" Chuck said. " Chips, please. "100, sir." Casey said posing as the dealer and handing the chips to Chuck. "Good luck. Don't lose it." " I don't believe we've met before. I'm Lon Kirk. I'm the host of this evening's event. I know the people of Taiwan are deeply appreciative of your generosity." "Oh, well, cheers. The name's Carmichael. Charles Carmichael." Chuck said shaking his hand. " Pleasure, and your stunning... companion?" "Y/N Carmichael. Charles' wife." "Your wife? Wow...Congratulations. It's a Pleasure." " May I ask, Mr. Kirk..." " Lon, please." Chuck was hating the fact that this man was clearly flirting with you. You didn't like it either but you needed to get as much info as you could. " Lon, I was wondering how you came to focus your charitable efforts on Taiwan." "Well, I started doing business there, and I just fell in love with the people-- their indefatigable spirit-- and I said to myself... Three and nine, please." " Yes, sir." Casey said. "I said to myself, "Lon, you can help. "" "That's wonderful. " Chuck stared at you and you gave him a guilty face. "And I always bet on red because it reminds me of all the pain and suffering in the world." "How noble." " Any other bets?" Casey asked. "Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm. I'm in. All of it. "Always bet on black. " Wesley Snipes, Passenger 57. Not a great film, granted." Chuck said tossing all the chips in. You widened your eyes, staring at the chips. "You sure you want to risk it all, sir? You might want to reconsider." Casey warned him. "Doesn't seem prudent." Lon added. " Prudent? I mean, here I thought we were gambling, right? Plus, if I lose it, it goes to charity anyway. So here's to losing, right? Cheers." " Bets are in. $100, 000 on black." " What? ! $100, 000? Is that what you just said?" "Honey..." you said staring at Chuck. " Uh, no, no, no, no, wait, wait wait-- I didn't realize-- it's a normal bet for me, $100, 000. Come on, black. Black, black, black, black. Come on, honey, cheer for black." "Go black!" you cheered. " Three, red." "Oh God." you said. "Do you guys do mulligans in roulette? Or any kind of a do-over? Is there, like, a thing..." Chuck asked. "If you'll excuse me." Lon said getting up and giving you a wink and you winked back. "Did you really just wink at him?" "I'm sorry babe! But did you really just lose $100, 000? " You and Chuck looked over to see Lon talking to a man and you both flashed on him. "Psst. " You waved over to Casey. Casey leaned in. "Kirk is talking to Rashan Chen. He's the Taiwanese Attaché to the Premier, he's dirty." you said. " They're using the charity as a front to launder counterfeit money. " Chuck added. "Okay, something's wrong. I'm going to go over. Chuck, Y/N you stay at the table." Sarah said, hearing the whole thing and making her way to Lon. He definitely noticed her and started to flirt. " We'll work on a payment plan later." Casey said looking at Chuck. " Can we." Chuck said. " She's trying a little too hard, don't you think? I mean I know it's Sarah..." " Relax, Y/N, she's just doing her job." "Yeah I get that."

Chuck drove up to your house, dropping you off for the night. "Thanks hun." you said leaning over and kissing his cheek. "No problem. See you tomorrow?" "Oh uh... God I hate to tell you this but Sarah told me that he invited us to his yacht tomorrow afternoon." " Okay, what time should I be ready?" " No, just me and Sarah." " Oh, just, just you two. Alone on his yacht. Kind of disrespectful to your husband and actual boyfriend, don't you think?" "Look babe, I hate that I have to do this but if we can get closer and closer to finishing this mission then I guess I have to do it right?" "Why can't it just be Sarah?" "Believe me I wish it could have been just Sarah. I asked her if it could just be her and I could stay here with you but she insisted that I come." Chuck just sighed and looked down. "You trust me right Chuck?" Chuck looked up at you, nodded his head and smiled softly. "Of course I do sweetheart." "Okay. And I promise to come straight to you as soon as we are over." "You got it. Have a goodnight hun." "Goodnight babe." Chuck leaned over and gave you a loving kiss goodnight. You smiled at him one more time after before getting out of the car and heading into your home.

#Chuck Series Rewrite #Chuck #Chuck TV Series #Chuck x Reader #Chuck Bartowski #Chuck Bartowski x Reader #Zachary Levi

2 notes · View notes

crossgartered · 5 years ago

Text

P5R Liveblog (17/?)

November 20th

Huh? "The distortion inside that Crystal is still linked to distortion somewhere else"?

...is this a plot thing, or is it because I usually have sent the calling card by the time I go to Mementos

Oh, now it's flu season. Well, I'll save reaper farming for ng+. It doesn't look like I'll be able to max all the social links until ng+, too, but that's to be expected, honestly. I made some mistakes.

Still, I'm doing pretty well. Either I'm close to maxing someone or else I've practically never hung out with them. And I'll be able to max out Kawakami before I'm not able to go to school, so that's great.

Priestess 6, Empress 1, Emperor maxed, Hierophant maxed, Lovers 8, Chariot maxed, Justice 8, Hermit 8, Fortune 9, Strength 9, Hanged Man 1, Death 5, Temperance 9, Devil 3, Tower 2, Star 8, Moon maxed, Sun maxed, Faith maxed, Councillor 9.

And I'm pretty sure the Justice & Councillor need more plot to happen before they can progress.

I still can't believe that Kasumi is just gonna randomly show up in the casino after all this. Can't wait to figure out what she's doing.

I hate turning down the girls. It's like, 'So why are you so nice to me?'

'Because we're teammates' or 'Because I love you' like NO IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS AND I LIKE YOU GODDAMMIT

*sigh*

I think I heard her heart shatter. I'm sorry, Futaba. It might have given me an 'are you sure' option but I couldn't take that chance.

OH THANK YOU PHONE CALL CONTENT

I was able to tell her that she was a true friend ^u^ ...of course, that only gave 2 points, so I'm guessing 'partner' or 'key item' would have worked better, but still. I can express my platonic affection.

WHAT IS THIS SPECIAL BOND READING OMG????? THIS IS AMAZING

Oh, good! They did add variety to Haru's plants

I am. Third-wheeling to the extreme here. How do people manage to date Ann.

Can I PLEASE not be a dick to girls I am not trying to date. Can I PLEASE say 'you have us, your friends' or 'Youre not alone' or something that does not imply you will not be there for her while still not dating her?? Especially since you're going to be leaving soon, too.

Ohya or billiards, Ohya or billiards...

YES FINALLY. Hello, Kasumi. Please talk to me.

Kasumi...

YO I CAN MAX FUTABA

THAT POOR PRIEST LOL

Wait I was going to go to untouchable

Whoops

MARUKI NO

Oh god fucking damn it this is going to be just like the cookie thing

Lol your glasses got all fogged up. They even have a sprite for it

BOTH OF THEM COULDNT SEE I LOVE THIS

FUCK HE KNOWS

Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no

Seriously? Back in April?

Man, the Shibuya thing for Kaneshiro feels so foolish and ridiculous. We just literally disappeared into thin air, huh. And I though it might at least be someone who was deliberately watching for us who would see us, but that's not even true here. Guh.

OH MY GOD WE EVEN SAW HIM HUH

Well, great. I feel used.

He was pretty honest about wanting my help but. Ugh.

Maruki, I feel like you're going to flip your shit over the course of the next few days. I wonder if...

Hmm. Well. Onward.

Ah, I figured this was going to be the max rank with him.

Were you going to ask for my wish, Maruki?

LMAO RYUJI "ain't this place always empty though?" "I'm telling Boss." OAO HIS MODEL CHANGED.

Have I never chosen that option before or have I just never noticed

Ahhhh the hypest part of the game. I'm super psyched

MAKING CURRY INCREASES MY GUTS???!?!?

IT'S SHOWTIME

Ooh~ the roulette panels changed : 3

OH MAN I TOTALLY FORGOT TO TETRAJA THANK YOU FUTABA I AM SO GLAD I MAXED YOU

Aww. One more move and Makoto would have been the one to deal the last blow.

"THOSE GUYS IN BLACK SUITS ARE ALMOST HERE"

Huh, so Futaba can see a bunch of Shadows in police uniforms. Interesting.

Ryuji...! Thank you for your faith in me. I definitely will do my best not to die. ;U;

MAN I LOVE KNOWING THE REVEAL ALL OF THIS IS SO GOOD

I'm curious if the original plan was to take them all or just Joker. I wonder if the counterplan actually saved everyone from getting arrested and/or killed

Ah, to see how 'boyish voice' turns into 'Morgana', and all the rest

NOBODY ASKED YOU, INARI

ARSENE...!

I wonder why, from a Watsonian perspective, he comes back.

I wonder if we ever told the others about Kasumi

Oh, man, in hindsight, her coming to the casino Palace was actually really dangerous for her! Esp if Crow heard Futaba wtfing at her being there. Puts a target on her back, it does

??? I can still use my party's skills, even though I'm alone right now?

I still don't understand the logistics of this takedown. Ah well.

KASUMI WHY ARE YOU /HERE/

Did we plan this? Did I tell you /anything/ about the situation KASUMI WHY ARE YOU HERE

Nope sae never heard of them I have been the only phantom thief I have been by myself the whole time I am alone in this room right now

I sure do! And I know that you're lying to me! And that I have a big heart full of love for my friends! I'm not gonna sell anyone out. Glad that we've established that.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I love that whole everything.

I was riveted for a solid chunk of that. I remember the first time I played I was practically yelling at the screen and I had wanted to skip past the bits with the SIU director and all that bc I wanted to know what had happened to the protagonist and what was going to happen with Sae

Like, did I mess up??? Oh my god the eyes are open and there's blood and where would you even put the squib??? I was trying to figure out if I had chosen wrong and stuff.

When I played p4 for the first time, I got one of the responses to Yosuke wrong. I had said something about the window instead of vaguely saying that there's something bc I thought, well, why would he be trying to escape from the window instead of through the TV?? But he just got angry at me : ( and then I got the """normal ending""" which. yeah. and so then I reloaded and went through all that again. ...It was really frustrating.

Anyway.

MAN IT'S SO SATISFYING. The casino palace and its aftermath is really satisfying. The villains then deciding to be cartoonishly evil is a bit of a detractor but otherwise! Very cool.

And man the music is so good. Whims of Fate. Life Will Change, with lyrics! It's good stuff. I love the persona 5 music. although lbr persona music in general is AMAZING. i have playlists with just persona music it’s good good stuff

#p5r liveblog #p5r #p5r spoilers #long post #persona 5 royal #p5 spoilers #this one gets emotional at video games

1 note · View note

finleyqualitynetwork · 6 years ago

Text

Starting Simple

Before I got into anything too crazy, I thought I’d start with something a bit more basic. A list of my top five favorite programs from The Incomparable Radio Theater of the Air! Let’s go!

5. Marjorie Carter: Freelance Adventuress: A zany serial about a special collections librarian turned treasure hunter (very much an Indiana Jones type deal) and her bumbling but well meaning sidekick Milo. Lots of short little pastiches involving fairly accurate localized history and lore. Featuring such quotes as:

“Where is his gag- I thought there was a gag.”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure this is just exposition.”

AND

“Semantics.”

“No, Americans!”

4. The Fog: A drama about millionaire playboy Simeon St. Clair who has a secret identity as vigilante superhero of New York, The Fog. No one knows quite what his powers are, except for modulating his voice and making pseudo-intellectual remarks about living a life of crime, although he does seem to wave his hands in people’s faces a lot. Featuring such quotes as:

“The weed of crime is a bitter pill to swallow.”

“What does that even mean?”

“... I really don’t know.”

AND

“Welcome to The City of Lights (in New York).”

“Silly man, that is Paris.”

“This is a city. It’s full of lights. You do the math.”

3. Two-Fisted Tales of Tesla: A delightful Doctor Who parody starring inventor extraordinaire Nikola Tesla and his companion Dot. Join them in their wacky adventures across time and space! And stuff! I’m also in this one, so you should give it a listen. Featuring such quotes as:

“Ooooooh, a paradox! ... I don’t get it.”

AND

“IT’S NOT A BOX, IT’S A CABINET.”

2. Timmy Preston: Galaxy Scout: A bunch of lovable space scouts and their dad of a scoutmaster. Space adventures! Silly hijinks! Jumpin’ Jupiter! It starts off really cute but the Christmas Special made me hardcore cry! Featuring such quotes as:

“It’s chivalry or certain death, McKeith.”

AND

“I think my ears just pooped!”

“...Popped?”

“Yeah yeah, that!”

1. The Lives of Paul Citron: Ah yes, my personal favorite. Excellent storytelling, good mysteries, and a main character with a roulette wheel for a moral compass. The ultimate blend of wry wit and suave spy action. How I love thee, Paul Citron. The story, that is, not the character himself. Featuring such quotes as:

“Now, all of this is just procedure, which is about as interesting as watching paint dry. Granted, it may be paint with a rakish sense of humor, but I digress. And paint, like humor, is best when dry, so let’s cut to the chase, shall we?”

AND

“As another poet once said, ‘Carpe nightcap.’ Or, in other words ... ‘seize the dame.’”

I hope this has inspired you guys to listen to some of these shows! There are several one-shots I might have thrown in as honorable mentions (The Go-On Show, The Spooky Twist, The Full Fathom Five and Commander Jetpack, to name a few), but I might compile those in a separate post.

Happy podcasting!

-Sparrow

#the incomparable radio theater #the incomparable radio theater of the air #the incomparable podcast #tirt #tirta #david loehr #david j loehr #djloerh #marjorie carter #two-fisted tales of tesla #the fog #timmy preston: galaxy scout #the lives of paul citron

8 notes · View notes

nh935 · 5 years ago

Text

The Adventures of Solaire, Part II: Rewards and Consequences

The Incredible yet Accurate Adventures of the Dread Pirate Captain Solaire Ravenheart

Otherwise known as

The Adventures of Solaire

Part II

Rewards and Consequences

Now that Solaire has been reborn from the ashes of his family mansion, I want to take a moment to relate to you his first action he took in his noble quest to save River Ravenheart.

Close to six in the morning, Solaire sailed the Forlorn Rose into the port city of Snaz Snen and, after noticing that the docks were almost completely abandoned, anchored his ship next to a modest merchant ship with a lamp still burning in the windows. This, he figured, was just as good a place as any to begin raising the money he would need to arrange his face-to-face meeting with Weiss. After placing down a large plank of wood to act as a bridge, he boarded said ship just as an individual made their way out of the captain’s quarters.

“Ah!” this newcomer with blonde mutton chops exclaimed, “You must be Capgras DuMonte!”

Solaire tilted his head back and raised an eyebrow. “Yeessss…”

“George Fontaine!” He reached forward and began vigorously shaking his hand. “Pleasure to begin this business venture with you, sir, truly a great honor!”

Solaire allowed his hand to be moved before staring at the freshly-shaken appendage like a chef inspecting a suspicious fish, prompting a very awkward silence.

After a minute or so of this had passed, George cleared his throat. “Yes, well, I’m sure you’re a busy man, so let’s get down to the payment.”

Solaire’s head shot up. “Payment?”

“Yep!” He gestured Solaire forward into the captain’s quarters. There, in the center of the room, was a large sack filled to the brim with coins.

“500 gold, just like we agreed” George chirped. “Quite a bit of money. Whole family’s savings, right there. Not a penny left in the bank. Worries the missus a bit. I tell her not to worry, but you know how wives are. If she wasn’t worried about this, she’s worrying about the children falling ill or my mother getting older. I keep telling her, we’ll make it all back in spades with this venture, guaranteed, but it never helps. Glad I can talk to a businessman like you, eh?”

Solaire ignored him and moved forward to the bag, running his fingers through some of the coins.

“So!” George moved up and clasped him on the back. “What do you say?”

Solaire turned around and unloaded a small hand pistol into the man’s gut.

Once George hit the ground, Solaire moved behind the bag and shoved, throwing his shoulder into the weight of it to drag it along the ground. He struggled with it a bit once he got to the railing, having to lift it up and over to place it onto the gangplank, spilling several coins into the ocean below. Once there, more shoving commenced until the bag was securely laying on the deck of the Forlorn Rose.

Behind him, Solaire heard a gargling “Please…”

It was George. The wretch had found enough strength to crawl onto the deck and up on the gangplank, leaving a long streak of crimson blood behind. He was on the wood now, arm outstretched to Solaire in a desperate plea.

Solaire reached forward…

George’s eyes lit up with hope.

...and pulled the gangplank back, dropping George into the icy ocean below.

I’d like you to remember this incident, as it will set the tone of this adventure going forward.

***

But now I beg your forgiveness, dear reader, for I must take you on a brief journey away from this fascinating man, even though I have just told you all about his family tree, his noble quest, the burning of his past, and the manner of madness you can expect from him afterwards. Yes, we know of Solaire, but we know nothing of the others that will soon populate the story afterwards, and Mr. Weiss will become very important soon. Nowhere near as interesting, but important nonetheless. So let us depart from Mr. Ravenheart, tunelessly humming “Drunken Sailor”, and travel 800 nautical miles North-Eastward, to the monolithic beauty that is the Emperor.

Of the various locations Solaire will visit in the pages ahead, few exist now as anything more than memory and the occasional piece of driftwood, but the Emperor is a rare exception. A lucky thing, too; it’s a true grandeur and a marvel to behold. A large steel ship painted white and trimmed in black, the Emperor floats on the waves despite being the size of a small city. At that mass, sails alone are insufficient, so instead it propels itself via “steam engine”, pumping in sea water to be boiled in large cauldrons heated with burning coals, then takes the steam inside of an intricate system of pipes so that it may move a massive set of propellers underwater. The black soot that is the waste product of this process is expelled through smoke stacks the size of castle towers, making it a sight so huge and strange that one could be forgiven for thinking that some massive sea-born monster, and not a ship, was out in the distance.

That exterior, though, hides a gilded interior, full of gold and silk and all the finer things in life. At the time of Solaire’s visit, the Emperor was designed to be a floating casino resort, containing four levels of slot machines and card tables for all amounts of wealth, a large buffet-style dining hall constantly filled with the richest of foods, 2,000 rooms for guest habitation, and a huge ballroom with a massive band of 64 string instrument players, 30 brass members, 27 woodwind players, fifteen percussion members, and eight dolophone players (which I suspect to be a form of embezzlement from the conductor. I have no knowledge of such an instrument, and as a bard, I am inclined to trust my own authority on the subject.) But despite this size, no small details were spared. Each room had gold-leafed crowning, carved frescos, painted friezes, a tasteful arrangement of exotic plants, and more details besides, in relation to the function of the room.

This floating palace was the vision of one Mr. Weiss, pronounced in the old Eswein accent as “Mr. Vice”. He lived up to the name, too. Weiss had been the son of the senior Weiss Edgars, who controlled the large and profitable theive’s guild on the major import/export city of Snaz Snen. Junior Weiss was uninterested in most of the activities of the guild, preferring to spend his time womanizing, drinking, and ingesting all manner of illicit substances. The only piece of his father’s business that held his attention was the gambling rings the guild ran on the side. They were fascinating affairs. Weiss watched dice roll after dice roll, calculating odds and adding together wins and losses. They were driven by math, Weiss realized, so that no matter how lucky a hot streak was, the house would still come out on top. No temperamental thieves needed, and no muddling authority to worry about. Just simple numbers and disgusting amounts of cash.

That was all the encouragement he needed. Weiss applied his mind into the creation of more ingenious gambling machines, and if his patents are any indication, Weiss was quite intelligent. He created the first slot mechanisms, and combined the invention with a clever application of psychology to construct the first slot machines, perfect temptresses that lured in the unsuspecting with low buy-ins and utilized small winning payouts with the promise of large jackpots until the player became hopelessly addicted to pulling the small lever. He made the roulette wheel, the perfect arbiter of randomness, designed dice games with higher payouts but lower chances to win, added decks into decks to frustrate card-counting, and dozens more additions aside. Soon, the casinos were raking in more money in one night than a master thief could make in a year.

Which is when Weiss had a new vision: a ship. A massive ship, more like a luxury island, in which members of all economic brackets could climb aboard and sail away for a week, or a month, or longer, enjoying a vacation free of all the stresses awaiting them on shore. A perfect retreat. But it would require entertainment, which is why it would also be filled to the brim with gambling pastimes. A perfect captive audience. Even those not interested would eventually cave to boredom. And Weiss would slip in his numbing, addictive number games into every member aboard. When they were dropped off, they’d owe far more money than they ever paid for their ticket, and Weiss would be there every day, captaining this ferry of sin and its damned passengers.

I apologize again, but I wanted to give you an appreciation of the perfect application of sinister design that Weiss had set up before Solaire starts to systematically smash it. It makes the next several parts far more entertaining to read.

***

Weiss was currently seated in the top lounge, enjoying the company. He was an equal-opportunity corrupter, so the ship was divided up into four main levels, each catering to a different economic class bracket. The top level was only for the highest spenders, aristocrats and politicians, those who could casually withdraw hundreds of gold coins from their pockets. As such, it was his favorite company to keep.

At the moment, he was talking to the Dinan ambassador to Archone, with one arm around a gorgeous woman and another on a bottle of artisan beer (an oxymoron if I ever heard one). He was small, only five foot two (well, five feet even, but we’ll be polite and ignore the platform bottoms of his shoes), but he made up for it in pure personality. Weiss was an animated man, using his arms as much as his hands when he talked and waggling his eyebrows so frequently one might worry they were about to fly off. He was dressed, as always, very dapperly; in a velvet red suit accented in gold thread, a top hat of similar style and color perched atop a head of white hair. His cane was seated by his side.

Weiss laughed. “And so, zat’s vhen I said to him…”

A loud buzzing interrupted him, coming from the brass pipe attached to the wall on his left. It was the ship’s internal communication system, a series of pipes he designed that contained and amplified sound waves so that any important communication could be delivered at anytime, anywhere on the ship.

He glared at it annoyed.

It stopped buzzing for a second, then began buzzing again.

Weiss sighed. “Excuse me for a second, but I musht attend to zis.”

He walked over to the vibrating pipe, dragged it down to mouth level, and asked “Vhat is it?”

“Um, we’ve got someone who asking to purchase a ticket for the current voyage” the voice on the other line said.

Weiss eyebrows knit together in annoyance.“You called me about a shtowaway?”

“No sir. He’s outside the ship.”

“...vhat?”

“He’s currently sailing alongside us, calling out to the crew that he wants to purchase a ticket.”

“But ve are 500 miles away from land.”

“Yes sir.”

Weiss rubbed his eyes. “Has he identified himself?”

“Hold on.” A brief moment passed. “He says his name is ‘Solaire Ravenheart.’”

“Ravenheart…” Weiss muttered. His memory was photographic, so it only took him a second to recall the name and the man. Yes, youngest of the line. He’d been here once or twice, top deck, too, but each time he looked mostly bored and uninterested. In all honesty, he got more use out of the free bar than any gambling table. He’d never shown up again, and Weiss had written the man off as a lost cause.

“Sir?”

“Does he know vhat ticket he vants to purchase?”

“Month long ticket, top deck.”

“Does he have ze 500 gold?”

“He claims he does.”

Weiss thought for a moment. This was highly irregular. No doubt there were some fishier motives at play. But at the same time, holding a Ravenheart in one’s pocket was far from a bad thing…

“Let him aboard. After you collect payment.” Weiss began to walk away, then paused. “And tie up his schip to tow behind us. Claim confenience, record as collateral.”

“Yes sir.”

Weiss shook his head and walked back over to his two companions. “Apologies for ze interruption. Vhere vere ve?”

“You were in the middle of telling us about meeting the Baron of Oskus, babe” the pretty blonde said.

“Ah yes! So, zere I was, worsht hangofer I hafe efer had, sittink on my own tophat of all zings! And the Baron was zere, layink on ze craps table, so I turned to him and said…”

The brass pipe vibrated again.

Weiss’ smile went tight. “I turned to him and said…”

The pipe gave another vibration, only louder.

“One moment.” He stomped over to the pipe. “VHAT?!”

“Um, sorry sir,” the voice stammered, “but it doesn’t look like he has all of it.”

“All of vhat?”

“The gold. It’s close. 487, I think. He says a few pieces fell overboard.”

“Jusht let him on!”

“Alright. Also, there’s blood…”

“Lishten to me.�� Weiss drew the pipe down lower so that he could lean over it, as if trying to intimidate the brass instrument, “I. Don’t. Care. Gife him ze ticket, tow his schip, and deal wis any problems yourself. If I hear one more call about zis man, I will demote you from whatefer position you hafe now to boiler fuel, UNDERSHTOOD?”

“Y-yes sir!”

Weiss rolled his eyes and turned back to his two companions. “Perhaps we schould retire to a prifate room, no?”

Solaire walked about the ship, taking in every detail he could. He’d been here twice with his father during a few fruitless attempts to connect with his son, and Solaire had found it boring each time. Too civilized. Solaire hadn’t been able to understand how these paper cards and ivory dice were supposed to get the blood flowing. In a tavern, sure, where you were cheating and he was cheating and everyone was just waiting to catch someone cheating so that they could start a brawl. But not here, where even the sharp corners were blunted down so that no one could hurt themselves and besmirch the memory of their vacation.

But then again, now he was here for a reason. Weiss had consigned the large payment for River, which means that he knew something. Or had something written down. And seeing as he couldn’t just walk up and ask him, he had to spend some time figuring out how to get that information. And yes, finding that ship with the gold was a good omen. He needed to rob someone to get aboard and in a position to talk to Weiss, as most of his wealth was now buried in the ground. Finding a mark that easy had to be a sign that fate was smiling at him right now. But that was no excuse to get sloppy.

Every detail mattered, he thought. He kept his eyes and ears wide, watching the customers, the servants, the large, eight-foot tall, thin and golden clockwork automatons with long blades for arms watching the crowd (those weren’t there last time, were they?), smelling the food, observing the crew, listening to the “SCHINK, clack, clack, clack, *tink*, DING! Clatterclatterclatterclatterclatter” of a nearby slot machine.

Solaire stopped. Had he heard that right?

He walked over to another slot machine, being played by another woman, listening closely to the mechanism inside.

She dropped a coin inside and pulled the large lever, spinning the little symbols inside. “SCHINK”. She pulled the lever again, stopping the spinning symbols. “Clack, clack, clack.” No symbols matched.

Solaire waited as she pulled out another coin.

Lever. “SCHINK!” Lever again. “Clack, clack, clack *tink*” The symbols matched this time, prompting a “DING!” and the “clatterclatterclatterclatter” of falling coins. She yelped for joy and scooped up her winnings, rushing off to another section of the ship.

Solaire approached the slot machine. So, he had heard that right. There was a tink. A familiar tink, at that.

Back when he was younger, his parents deluged him with tutor after tutor, under the claim that they needed to educate him, when in reality they were really just trying to keep him busy so that they didn’t have to deal with him. Part of that process was trying to find something the young lad was interested enough in to keep him sitting still for more than five minutes. For a while, they found that he was interested in mechanical systems, particularly locksmithing, but they soon realized Solaire was far more interested in figuring out how to bypass such locks than making more.

It was a bit too late, as they found that out after a nearby temple had him arrested for breaking into their mausoleum, and by that point, the damage had been done. Solaire had never forgotten about what he learned and locks would forever be his easy to persuade friends.

Now, Solaire knew that there were two types of locks. One was the tumble lock, the classic configuration that required a specially-cut key to move the small pins that kept the lock from moving. They required a skilled hand and a small piece of metal to manipulate open. But the other kind, combination locks, were made with spinning disks that, when properly aligned, would catch on a small bar and remove it, allowing the door to swing open. All you needed to open those was a well-tuned ear to hear the sound of the disk catching.

A sound that was a very particular tink.

Solaire moved around to the face of the machine, looking it over. A familiar, childish emotion, that of troublemaking curiosity, washed over him.

If that was the case, then the way these slot machines worked was to spin the symbols so fast that they landed on a random configuration. If all three disks lined up to the same notch (and, by extension, the three symbols outside), the machine would be able to open up a door inside and dispense coins. If not, the machine’s attempt to open the door would be thwarted and remain closed. No coins. So if you could make sure all the disks spun together, and introduce some friction into the machine so that, when it got to the matching notches, it didn’t have enough momentum to overcome the divots…

Solaire walked over to the large buffet table, scanning the tables until he arrived at the end, where the desserts and drinks were kept. Past the cakes, the cream, the iced cream, the puddings… aha! Sugar. Plain and simple sugar. Solaire took two of the cups nearby and filled them both up with sugar. Then he moved over to the tea station and placed just a tiny bit of boiling water in one. Stirring it with a spoon, he managed to mix it into a thick and sticky sludge. Then he came back to the slot machine.

No one had touched it, which meant that the symbols were still in their winning position. Taking the spoon out, he carefully poured the concrete-like mixture into the spaces in between each symbol cylinder. After ensuring there were no bubbles of air between the cylinders, Solaire blew on the mixture with his mouth, watching it dry quickly in the hot air of the enclosed gaming area. Then he took the cup of dry sugar and poured it into the open display window. With the cylinders together and the grains placed into the spinning mass, Solaire put a coin in and pulled the handle.

There was a grinding sound as the gears attempted to chew through the foreign material. The symbols shook and vibrated, then began to rotate slowly, chugging along with the determination only a machine can muster. It took nearly three minutes for the slots to rotate around once, and once they did so, there was a *tink* as the three matching symbols returned to their former spot on the display and stopped, followed by a loud DING! and the clatter of coins.

Soliare put one of the coins in and, while waiting for the slots to finish a second tortured journey, took off his top hat and scooped the coins inside. Once he was finished, there was another DING! Followed by more coins. Solaire repeated. He won again. Repeat. Win. Repeat. Win.

By this time, a small crowd had gathered around the suspiciously lucky man. While they watched and murmured to themselves, one of the clockwork automatons raised his head and walked over to the machine. With a set of whirring, clicking steps, he pushed his way through the crowd to get to the man now placing the coins in his pockets.

“PASSENGER” it croaked, “YOU HAVE BEEN WITNESSED TAMPERING WITH CASINO EQUIPMENT AND WINNING A STATISTICALLY UNLIKELY NUMBER OF TIMES. PLEASE FORFEIT THOSE WINNINGS AND COME WITH ME.”

Solaire turned about calmly to face the giant metal contraption. “Ah, well you see, I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.”

The deck went quiet in expectation. Even the automaton clicked a little softer.

Solaire reached into his hat and threw a handful of coins at the thing.

There was immediate chaos. The passengers began clambering over each other, trying to grab the valuable coins out of the air. The automaton tried to make his way through into the center, shouting “GUESTS, PLEASE STOP. THOSE WINNINGS DO NOT BELONG TO YOU.” The few people who weren’t watching the scene unfold were watching now, witnessing the long, spindly robot try to delicately shove people aside with its large bladed arms.

And Solaire ran, hat of coins cradled in his arms.

An alarm bell began to sound. “ALL PASSENGERS AND NON SECURITY CREW” the robots began to call at once “PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR QUARTERS. WE WILL DEAL WITH THIS SHORTLY AND APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR INCONVENIENCE.” As they repeated the announcement over and over, they moved towards Solaire, moving in a not quite a run but not quite a walk towards the fleeing noble.

Solaire gritted his teeth and fumbled inside his coat for the pistols stored there. For a brief moment, his fingers brushed against the Ivory River, but he decided against it; the ammunition for that gun was rare and who knows when he would be able to acquire more. Instead, he grabbed the regular flintlock revolver and aimed it at the lead robot.

“Apologize for this, you metal bastard” he growled and pulled the trigger.

The bullet hit the side of its chest and bounced off with a resounding “PING!”

“WE APOLOGIZE THAT YOUR ESCAPE IS FUTILE.”

Solaire grimaced and shot again.

This time it PINGed off the top of its shiny head.

“PLEASE COME WITH US SO THAT YOU MAY BE DETAINED AND/OR EXECUTED, DEPENDING ON THE NATURE OF YOUR CRIME. WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE THIS MAY CAUSE.”

Solaire took a deep breath, raised the gun one more time, and closed an eye as he lined the barrel with his open eye.

This time, the bullet landed in the center of the lead robot’s head, causing a smash of glass as it entered the lense set there.

“WE APOLOGIZE, BUT THIS UNIT IS BLIND.” The automaton tried to take another step and placed its long leg right onto a small cart filled with dirty dishes. The cart shot forward, causing the robot to fall backwards onto the robot immediately behind it. It, in turn, toppled over too, knocking into another nearby unit, and pretty soon the first formation of nine were spinning around and falling over, like tops losing speed.

People were screaming now, panickedly running this way and that. Another formation of robots appeared over the mass of their fallen brethren. Solaire muttered a soft curse and weaved through the crowd. After pushing his way past a group of dashing tourists, he managed to get to a section of exposed deck free from people and break into a full-on sprint.

“Halt thief!”

A mass suddenly hit Solaire in the back, causing him to fall forwards and spill the golden coins all over the deck. The mass stayed there and pointed a blade that Solaire could feel on the back of his neck. “This is Emperor security, and you are under arrest for the theft of- holy shit!”

Solaire managed to squirm his way around to face his attacker. It was a man, a muscled one, at that, with short black hair and fair skin, dressed in red and brown leathers. He was pointing a hooked sword at Solaire’s neck, a matching one gripped in the other hand, but his eyes were looking at the mass of spilled coins splayed out across the floor.

He was sitting directly on his chest, which meant that Solaire couldn’t get his arms up off the ground. Time to improvise.

“Hey, you!” he called out to the man on top of him.

He looked down to Solaire.

“You help me get out of here, and I’ll split that 50/50 with you.” Solaire said.

“It’s my job to catch you,” the man replied, but Solaire could detect the waver in his voice.

“Your job worth that much?” he asked.

The man licked his lips, then stood up and offered Solaire a hand. Solaire grabbed it and they stood just in time to watch one formation of robots approach from behind, and one in front.

“You get the ones in the back, I get the ones in the front?” the man asked.

“Sounds good” Solaire replied, readying his pistol.

A chorus of gunshots rang out on the deck as both men unloaded their guns onto the opposing force. Solaire aimed at his group and fired. The first PINGed, the second PANGed, but the third found a weak hinge at the knee, toppling one over and watching it become speared by the footsteps of its companions. Solaire lined up a fourth shot that entered the chest of another one right where the heart would be, causing the machine’s movements to become slow and jerky until it stopped marching all together. He aimed once more at the still approaching forms and…

*click*

The gun was empty.

He turned around to see how his new found friend was doing. The man was swinging from banister to banister, using the hook on his sword to hurl himself through the air while the other hand aimed a large pepperbox-looking pistol at the automatons, chipping them away with hit-and-run tactics.

In one smooth motion, Solaire grabbed the hat, scooped a majority of the spilled coins back into it, and ran into a nearby staircase before either the oncoming robots or his ally could stop him.

Down the stairs he went, down to the second deck, the sanctioned area of the well-to-do working class of the ship. As silently as he could, he cracked open the door of the staircase and peered out.

The hallway was completely empty. Every door was closed and not a soul was in sight.

Solaire crouched down, minimizing his frame and doing his best to silence the sounds of his movements. He slinked down the halway, trying each door knob until the third one proved to be unlocked as he steathfully slipped inside.

Inside contained the trappings of a well-furnished tavern room. Two beds with clean sheets were placed in the center of the room, as well as a writing desk and a comfortable chair. And, because this is the Emperor and the Emperor was the epitome of luxury, nearby in a little alcove was a flushing toilet, and two basins with a pipe that dispensed flowing water with the turn of a handle, one basin sized for hands and the other sized for whole bodies. A large and slightly overweight gentleman was using the hand-sized one, humming something to himself. He was dressed in a tweed suit jacket and pants in a lovely shade of dark green, with a bowler hat on top as well. His face was soft and baby-like, despite the ginger whiskers growing out of his face, and around his neck was a carved wooden necklace in the shape of a shell.

He turned, saw Solaire, and gasped.

Solaire pointed his pistol at him. “Don’t. Make. A. Sound.”

The man raised his hands up over his head, spied the still-running tap, and shut it off before returning his hands to the position of surrender.

There was a knocking at the door.

Solaire moved over to the bed furthest away from the door, keeping his hat of coins gripped tight the whole time. Once he was there, he whispered “Answer it, and make sure to tell them that there’s no one in here but you.”

The man nodded and moved towards the door, arms still raised.

“Put you hands down!” Solaire hissed.

He did so and opened it wide as Solaire ducked behind the mattress.

“Hello? Yes? Whatever is the matter?” the man stammered.

A crew member in a dark blue sailor’s coat did a polite bow. “Sorry to disturb you, sir, but a fugitive has been spotted on the ship. We’re doing a check of the rooms to make sure he isn’t hiding in any of them.”

The man began to sweat. “Well he isn’t here. No one here. Except me, of course! Just me. Myself. Alone. No need to check.”

Solaire put his palm over his face in his hiding spot.

The crewman arched an eyebrow. “Sir, is everything alright?”

“Yes, fine, why wouldn’t it be fine?”

“Could I just quickly check?” the crewman asked, attempting to step inside.

The man blocked his entry. “Now now now now there’s no need for that.”

The two began an awkward struggle over entryway. “Sir, let me through!” the crewman declared through gritted teeth.

“Please, sir, if you would just understand” the man babbled, “I-I-I am a man of privacy. I value, I-I…”

“This is for your own safety sir!”

“I-I… I… I-AHCHOO!”

The man in the tweed suit let forth an enormous sneeze. As he did, a massive cloud of sparkling green, pink, and yellow smoke filled the room and the hallway beyond, filling the area in a hazy mass of glittering smoke, obscuring vision.

Solaire blinked. He hadn’t expected that.

He shook his head; no time to think. Gripping the hat tight, he ran past the two men, both of whom had backed away from the door in the confusing incident. As he did, he bumped past the crewman, who called out “HEY! He’s over here!”

“Where the blazes is over here?!” an unseen voice responded.

Solaire bolted towards a staircase further down the hall, slamming the door open and leaping up the stairs two at a time until he reached the top deck. Barreling into it, he burst through. He was at the tail end of the ship, mere feet away from the Forlorn Rose and freedom.

A door suddenly opened in front of him and a short man in red stepped out, smiling and saying something to someone inside. “I’m schure zat I will be back in jusht a second…”

There was no time to react. Solaire collided with the small man at top speed. Both figures spun through the air as the gold coins went everywhere, flying into the sky before raining back down with the sound of high-pitched clattering.

Weiss rubbed his head. “Vhat on…” He turned to Solaire. “Ze Ravenheart?!”

Solaire reached for his pistol, but all he felt were coins. He scrambled around, trying to find the familiar shape of the handle without taking his eyes off of Weiss.

There was a tap on his shoulder.

Solaire turned around just in time to see a fist the size of his face rushing straight towards him.

The blow knocked him backwards. His vision was blurred, his ears were filled with ringing, and he could feel blood trickling down his nose. Unable to think, much less move, he collapsed onto the deck floor, helpless to do anything but watch the fuzzy play unfold in front of him.

“Ah,” the foggy short red figure said in a muffled voice, “zank you Aushtin.”

A humongous white shape with… shark teeth? No that couldn’t be right… grinned. “No problem, boss.” He stared down to Solaire. “Nighty nighty now.”

With no strength to do anything else, Solaire complied.

#series #short_story #the adventures of Solaire #fantasy #steampunk #adventure #pirate

0 notes

solartranslations · 5 years ago

Text

Vascello Fantasma Prologue: Arcana Famiglia

Start Up Messages

(If you have a save from the first game to import, the "Memories" and "Roulette" section of each character you've completed there will unlock.)

Do you want to change the name of the heroine? The current name is Felicita.

>Change >Keep

Do you want to change the nickname of the heroine? The current name is Fel. As the game proceeds, the nickname is sometimes used.

>Change >Keep

Configure the playback setting of the heroine’s system voice. This can be changed at any time in the game options.

>Yes voice >No voice

Do you want to change the name of the owl? The current name is Fukurota.

>Change >Keep

Configure the setting of Fukurota’s system voice type. This can be changed at any time in the game options.

>Type A >Type B >None

Is everything ok?

>Yes >Corrections Needed

We recognize that you are a member of Arcana Famiglia

Operation Hints ○ Button can be used to advance through messages. Long pressing will advance through dialogue at a fast speed. × Button can be used to clear messages. L Button can be used to open the menu.

Useful Functions You can see this description anytime in the “Descriptions” section of the menu by pressing the L button.

Prologue: Arcana Famiglia

The vigilante organization that protects the island of Regalo…that is Arcana Famiglia

Narrator: “Arcana Famiglia”

Narrator: They are the vigilante organization that protects the small trade island of Regalo

Narrator: Under “Papa” who leads the organization,

Narrator: They protect the people of the island from the dangers beyond the sea and possess the power to divide the rights and lords

Narrator: Only those who have contracted with the “Tarocco” and vow to comply with the law are allowed to enter the organization

Narrator: They abandon their family name, and work to the best of their ability for the organization

Narrator: The power gained from contracting with the “Tarocco” — Arcana powers

Narrator: And those powers that are beyond human understanding demanded compensation

Narrator: What supported them all was “The World”. What saved them was “The Wheel of Fortune”

Narrator: The growth of “The Lovers” heart changed fate, and fulfilled its role in sustaining The Wheel

Narrator: This is the story of those with Arcana powers, and their curious fates…

~*Opening Movie*~

“The Lovers” whispers to her of a new encounter…

~*Scene: Felicita's Room*~

Felicita: Zzz…

Gli Amanti: Hello, Ojou-san

Gli Amanti: I am Gli Amanti. The one who dwells in “The Lovers” card of the Tarocco…

Gli Amanti: Each of us in the Tarocco have our own will, dwell within our contractors, and fulfill each of our roles

Gli Amanti: And my contractor…is you, Felicita

Gli Amanti: We of the Tarocco were made with a purpose. But only the one who made us knows that true purpose

Gli Amanti: The Tarocco is life…and was made for the living

Gli Amanti: And…death…what was made for those who have accepted its slumber is…

~*Scene: Dining Room*~

Liberta: Huh?

Liberta: You don’t know about the Vascello Fantasma!?

Member of Intelligence: Liberta, holder of “The Fool” Major Arcana

Pace: What’s that? A new kind of dish?

Executive of the Clubs: Pace, holder of the “Strength” Major Arcana

Dante: Vascello Fantasma is known of as a ghost ship

Chief Executive: Dante, holder of “The Emperor” Major Arcana

Dante: You’re the Deputy Chief Executive, so you should at least have some interest in this

(*stomach growl)

Liberta: It’s a huge shadow ship that wanders the sea surrounded in a deep fog. Getting as far away as possible once you see it is common practice for sailors!

Nova: Hey Liberta…I know you’re familiar with it, but aren’t you boasting too much?

Executive of the Chalices: Nova, holder of the “Death” Major Arcana

Luca: Ahem. I don’t know if it is that ship, but I’ve received information that it was sighted near the Regalo coast recently

Attendant: Luca, holder of the “Temperance” Major Arcana

Debito: Ghosts? I’d welcome the ghost of a beautiful woman though

Executive of the Coins: Debito, holder of “The Hermit” Major Arcana

Luca: It might just resemble it, but a ship without a known nationality or affiliation shouldn’t have any ties with Regalo

Dante: There was also that incident of an unknown attack on the Regalo harbor just the other day… We should be careful

Jolly: Yes we should…

Advisor: Jolly, holder of “The Moon” Major Arcana

Jolly: So, the Chalices and Coins Serie will patrol the town, while the Swords and Clubs Serie will take turns providing security for the mansion

Jolly: Understood, Ojou-sama?

(*serious) Felicita: …

~*Scene: Hallway*~

Luca: …Well, we’ve been ordered to guard the mansion for a whole week now. Nothing has happened

(*smile) Luca: Nothing is a good thing. The weather is nice today too

Felicita: Yeah

Luca: Oh, it’s about time to chance shifts with Pace and the Clubs. Shall we go for lunch when we’re done, Ojou-sama?

>I want to eat something delicious

>We can’t let our guard down

Luca: *laugh*, then let’s go to the ristorante

Luca: Of course, we can order the dolce you like, Ojou-sama

Luca: You’re right, Ojou-sama

Luca: But those words…are proof of how you’ve grown as an executive. I’m happy

Luca: We can’t be careless since the problem of the unknown ship hasn’t been resolved yet

Luca: Well, shall we go through the patrol route one more time?

Luca: …!? What was that sound just now!?

Felicita: *running*

(*running) Luca: Ojou-sama! Please wait!!

~*Scene: Basement*~

Felicita: !?

Patrick: Guh…ah…

Luca: H-hold on! What happened here!?

(*shaky) Patrick: Ugh…I’m sorry…I was heading to the room we were supposed to guard…and a man…

(*collapse)

Luca: That means there’s an intruder… And, that room is…

Felicita: …!

Luca: Ojou-sama! I’m going to call for back up from Pace and the Clubs Serie, so don’t make a move for now!

Felicita: *runs*

Luca: Ojou-sama!? Don’t go! Ojou-sama!!

~*Scene: Mondo’s Office*~

(*bite) Ash: …Found it. This emerald design…it’s just like in the logbook, there’s no doubt

Ash: If I bring this back, everything will be back to how it was

(*bam!)

Ash: Another one. Guess they won’t hand it over so easily…

Felicita: …

Ash: Okay, bring it on. You want this back, right?

Felicita: *dash*

Operation Hints: In the Duello, press the buttons within the time limit

(*whish) Felicita: Hya!

Attack!

>Hit

>Miss

(Skip this box)

(*dodge) Ash: Hah, missed me!

Ash: Come on, weren’t you going to defeat me!?

(Try again)

(*whack) Ash: Guh!

Ash: Looks like she’s a bit better than the guards from earlier…

Ash: Now it’s my turn, try dodging this!!

(*grip) Felicita: !

Dodge!

>Hit

>Miss

(Skip this box)

(*whack) Felicita: !

Ash: What, is that all you’ve got?

Ash: There’s more where that came from!! Haa!

(Try again)

Felicita: *dodge*

(*slide) (*clink)

(*whish) Felicita: Ya!

Attack!

>Hit

>Miss

(Skip this box)

(*whish) Ash: Where’re you aiming? I’m over here!

Ash: Now this is how you attack!!

(Go back to the dodge box)

(*dodge) Ash: Like that’ll hit me…!

(*grip) Ash: Interesting. You use knives and I use a sword

(*whish) Ash: Let’s go!! Haa!

(*dodge) Felicita: !

(*whack) Felicita: !

Ash: Hmph…you’re pretty weak…

Luca: Ojou-sama!!

Pace: Ojou!! Are you okay!?

Ash: Okay, you guys better not take another step. If you do, the girl gets it

Luca: ! How cowardly!

Felicita: …!

Ash: It’s no use resisting

Pace: What’re you going to do to Ojou!

Ash: Her? I guess she’ll be a hostage until I get out of this mansion

Felicita: …!

Ash: Settle down, Strawberry Head

(*grab) Ash: Okay…

Luca: That box…, we won’t let you have it!

Ash: Huh…it didn’t look like the guards knew, but you do

Ash: You know what’s inside

>Don’t worry about me!

>Luca, don’t worry

Pace: Don’t say that…you’re the one in danger, Ojou

Ash: Well? If you take one step, I really will do it

Luca: Ojou-sama…

Ash: Heh, well at least she’s got resolve

(*yell!)

Ash: Enough wasting time. The weaklings are coming…

Ash: !

(*whish)

(*whack) Felicita: !

(*collapse)

Luca: Ojou-sama!!

(*glare) Ash: Didn’t I say not to move? Until I bring this box back, I’ll be taking Strawberry Head here

(*grab)

Ash: Okay, she’s actually pretty light

Pace: What are you after!?

Ash: Huh? I’m taking this box back

Luca: Do you know what is inside that box?

(*bam) Ash: Of course I know…it’s the Tarocco, right?

(*smirk) Ash: The Tarocco used to be mine…I’m taking it back

Pace: Huh!? What!?

(*reach) Luca: ……

Ash: I saw that! You think you’re clever, alchemist!

(*glare) Ash: Hah!!

(*whack) Luca: Uwah!!

Ash: Too slow, hat guy! I’ll shoot another one!

(*crackle) Luca: Guh!!

Pace: Watch out! Luca!!

Ash: See you!!

(*crash!)

Pace: Damn it! Ojou!

Pace: Luca, that guy jumped and landed over there

Luca: But this is the third floor!? …We can’t let him escape

Luca: Pace! Order your subordinates to block all the mansion gates!

Pace: And you, Luca?

(*glare) Luca: I…I’ll go after Ojou-sama!

~*Scene: Hallway*~

Ash: …What a big mansion. Where is this?

(*click) Debito: Found you, intruder

Ash: A pursuer? What a pain

(*glare) Ash: Take this!!

(*dodge)

(*jump) Debito: You’re nowhere near worthy of holding Bambina!

(*click) Pace: Debito! Don’t shoot! You’ll hit Ojou!

(*run)

Debito: I wouldn’t hit her! Tch! What a pain. Then Pace, go around and cut him off!

Pace: Got it!

~*Scene: Training Grounds*~

~*Scene: Rose Garden*~

~*Scene: Fountain*~

~*Scene: Courtyard*~

Ash: *panting*…. I didn’t want to use this power but…I guess I have to…

Ash: Can’t get results without some sacrifice

Ash: Doesn’t matter as long as I can make it back to the ship

(*grab)

(*growl)

Luca: A tiger!?

(*running)

(*whish) Luca: Ha!

Luca: Ojou-sama!

Debito: Luca!

Pace: Luca, where’s Ojou!?

Luca: A white tiger…jumped over the mansion walls…

Luca: With Ojou-sama in its mouth…

The mysterious intruder has brought about unrest and chaos to the Family…

~*Scene: Conference Room*~

Mondo: Make your report

Papa: Mondo, holder of “The World” Major Arcana

Dante: Yes. A summary of the situation is that the intruder entered the mansion and made off with the box containing the Tarocco and Ojou-san

Dante: The intruder was a man who seemed to be an alchemist

Dante: But Luca reported that a white tiger jumped over the mansion walls and that the man was nowhere to be seen

Liberta: He said that the tiger was holding Ojou in its mouth

Jolly: He’s an incompetent student, but it seems that he did succeed in attaching “Ariadne’s String” to Ojou-sama

Dante: “Ariadne’s String”…is that the string used to find one’s way out of a labyrinth?

Jolly: In this situation, I suppose you could call it our method of tracking down Ojou-sama

Jolly: By reeling in the string, it can lead us to Ojou-sama. But I don’t know if the Tarocco will be there

Jolly: It’s possible that he would leave her behind while escaping

Liberta: Ojou…

Dante: Intelligence has confirmed that an unknown ship is currently anchored in the limestone bay to the north of Regalo

Jolly: “Ariadne’s String” is moving in that direction. We can assume that they are headed to that bay

Liberta: But, the fog has been thick in that area lately so we can’t get close by ship

Liberta: There was never thick fog there until now though…

Jolly: Luca, Debito, and Pace are currently pursuing them ahead of us

Dante: You can follow the three of them, right Jolly?

Jolly: Yes

Mondo: …Got it. Then we’ll move immediately

Mondo: Listen. My daughter’s life, and all of yours, are the top priority

Mondo: After that, is the recovery of the stolen Tarocco. If you deem that to be impossible, then sink it into the sea

Mondo: There will be misfortune if it leaves Regalo

Sumire: An alchemist who stole the Tarocco and claimed it to be his own before disappearing…

Mama: Sumire, holder of the “Judgment” Major Arcana

Mondo: Mhm, this man is our enemy…but, capture him if possible

(*glare) Mondo: …The enemy has the ability to match you Major Arcana. Sending any lesser reinforcements likely won’t be effective

Mondo: Jolly, Dante, I’m counting on you

Dante: Yes. Intelligence will launch a ship…

Jolly: And we Major Arcana will head there personally…It’s a good plan

Mondo: Yes. I’ll leave it to you

Sumire: You all should be careful too…okay?

Liberta: Got it

Nova: We’ll be sure to save her

~*Scene: Forest*~

Luca: Ojou-sama, Ojou-sama!!

Debito: Shut up and run quietly, Luca!

(*shaky) Pace: *panting*…Debito, can we rest a bit…I’m hungry

Debito: Just eat the dirt or something

Luca: Ojou-sama was taken as a human shield…I’m ashamed at being so useless…

Debito: Quit grumbling. You were in charge of the mansion’s security with the Swords and the Clubs. Being able to track her is better than nothing

Luca: I’m sorry…

Debito: Found it…what a weird ship

Pace: This is the unknown ship in the northern bay…?

Luca: That ship looks like…, no, it can’t be…

~*Scene: Vascello Fantasma Deck*~

(*drops)

Ash: Hmph…I managed to get back

Ash: So we’ve come all this way and the Strawberry Head’s still out cold

Ash: She…seems pretty weak, so I guess I can just leave her here

Ash: I’ll set sail before they can catch up

~*Scene: Vascello Fantasma Captain’s Cabin*~

Ash: I’m back, Joshua. And I got the Tarocco

Joshua: Welcome back, Ash. You took quite some time

Ash: Yeah, a lot happened. There’s nothing else here. It’ll be a pain if they catch up with us, so I’ve set sail

Ash: Anyway Joshua, this is the right box, right? It looks like it’s locked though

Joshua: …It’s definitely this box. Now Ash, burn the box

Ash: Burn it? Alright but…oh, the cards inside won’t burn from alchemy right?

Joshua: Exactly

Ash: Now the Tarocco is back where it belongs. On this ship that my family has continued to protect

Joshua: Yes. Oh, Ash. Why don’t you take this chance to try performing the Tarocco’s contracting ceremony?

Ash: I should…contract the Tarocco?

Joshua: The Tarocco chooses its contractors. Those who are qualified are selected by the Major Arcana themselves

Joshua: *laugh*…You can call it a test of your luck

Ash: Is it dangerous? You’ll need an equivalent exchange, right?

Joshua: The Tarocco’s powers are unknown. Even I’m not aware of all the risks…but, those who succeed in a contract receive a power beyond human understanding

Ash: So that’s part of testing my luck…I guess

Ash: Joshua, that mark on your left wrist is the sign that you’ve succeeded in contracting the Tarocco…a stigmata, right?

Joshua: Yes. It’s the “Justice” Tarocco…“La Giustizia”

Ash: “La Giustizia”, huh…

Ash: …I guess it’s the nature of being an alchemist. If you say it like that, I just have to try it

Joshua: *laugh*

Ash: I’m interested too…I’ll do it. I know how to perform the contracting ceremony

Ash: The Tarocco originally belonged to my family after all…

(*bite)

Ash: There’s no way I can’t contract it…!

Ash: Uwah!!

Ash: Ahhhhhh!!

Ash: Ahhhhhgh…agh…

(*scatter)

Ash: …Ugh…Joshua…I didn’t know it would hurt so much…

Ash: And it burns…my neck…it feels like my throat is on fire

Joshua: That mark is…a stigmata!

Ash: What!? That means…the contract succeeded, right?

Ash: So…*panting*…which Tarocco was I chosen by?

Joshua: This is… “The Magician” Tarocco, “Il Bagatto”

Ash: “The Magician”, huh. Not a bad match…

(*reach) Ash: So…, what other Tarocco are there, Joshua?

Ash: Hm? Joshua?

Joshua: …This is…

(*whirring)

Joshua: Graaaaa!

Ash: Wha!? Joshua!

Joshua?: Ah…Ash…, the power of the Tarocco…

Ash: Wh, what happened? …Joshua…, why are you a skeleton…

Joshua?: …My name is “La Giustizia”…

Ash: Hey, Joshua! Do you know what I’m saying! Hey!

(*crash)

Ash: Hey, what’s happening…

Ash: This never happened before…why are there skeletons all over the deck…

Ash: Oh…damn it…I left that girl out there…!

Ash: Is this…is this because I contracted the Tarocco?

Ash: …Damn it! Hold on Joshua! I promise I’ll change you back!!

Joshua?: So I do….need “La Ruota della Fortuna”, “The Wheel of Fortune”…

~*Scene: Vascello Fantasma Deck*~

(*slide)

(*grab) Ash: Hn…!!

(*drops)

Ash: Hey, wake up Strawberry Head!

(*whack)

Ash: I said wake up!!

Felicita: !?

Ash: You’re finally awake, Strawberry Head

Description: The Lovers Arcana power allows you to look into another’s heart. The number at the bottom left of the screen, is the strength of your Arcana power

Operation Hints: You can look into a heart by pressing the analog button

Operation Hints: When more than one heart is visible, you can switch your target with the left and right arrow keys

Operation Hints: For a big heart, you can look deeply into someone’s heart by pressing the ○ button

❤≪Ash≫ Seems confused

Pain: What happened!?

Person: To turn Joshua back…

Person: This girl should know something

>Who are you!?

>Where am I?

Ash: Huh? Me? Who cares about that

Ash: Can’t you tell by looking? What’s it look like?

Ash: You’re sure relaxed for someone’s who’s been out for a while

❤≪Ash≫ Seems confused ❤≪Ash≫ Seems confused

Pain: What happened to Joshua…?

Place: Well who’re you

Person: This girl should know something

Pain: What happened to Joshua…?

Place: She’s confused

Person: This girl should know something

Description: The Arcana power is reduced when you look into a heart but it will recover when the scenario ends

Description: By knowing the heart of your partner, the distance between the two hearts will reduce and Amore will increase

Operation Hints: The Amore of each partner can be confirmed by pressing the Start button

Ash: Listen. I need to ask you something about the Tarocco

❤≪Ash≫ Seems irritated

Person: This girl should know about the Tarocco

Pain: Even though I took back the Tarocco

Person: What happened to Joshua…

Felicita: …

Ash: This ship’s already moving. You can’t go anywhere now. As long as you listen to me anyway!

>…First, give back the Tarocco

>I have nothing to say

Ash: I told you, it’s mine

Ash: Tch, I want to ask about the Tarocco though

Felicita: …

Ash: What…stupid Strawberry Head, are you defying me?

Felicita: …

❤≪Ash≫ Tarocco ❤≪Ash≫ Seems confused

Person: And I thought she’d talk…

Person: I want to turn Joshua back…

Pain: Even though I took back the Tarocco…

Pain: What happened to Joshua…?

Place: She’s confused

Person: This girl should know something

Ash: That face means…you’re not going to listen to me, are you

❤≪Ash≫ Seems to be plotting

Person: I don’t like those eyes

Arcana: The Tarocco brings misfortune

Place: If she doesn’t know, then the others in the mansion might

Ash: Fine then. You’ll listen to me if I use force

Ash: …Sorry, but I’ll be knocking you out again

Ash: It’s seriously a pain if you struggle

Felicita: Wha

Ash: I’ll unleash the power of the great Vir Ingeniosus

Ash: Miracolo di Nascita (TN: Miracle of birth)

Felicita: !

(*ignite)

(*skid)

Liberta: Ojou! Nova: Are you hurt? Dante: Are you okay!? Luca: Ojou-sama!! Pace: Ojou!! Debito: Bambina!

Felicita: !

Jolly: You’re so helpless…but that side of yours is lovely too, Ojou-sama

Ash: Tch, how’d you get here

Felicita: *glare*

Liberta: This is one creepy ship! There’s skeletons standing around everywhere. I really thought they were attacking…

Nova: This is an emergency and that’s what you’re worried about!!

Pace: Well, whatever happens I’ll be a shield that protects Ojou!

Luca: Pace, that’s my job!

Debito: Yeah. Don’t show off all on your own

Ash: Sorry, but I’ve got no use for you guys

Ash: …Oh, actually maybe I do. Hey you, old baldy

Dante: Who are you calling old! And this isn’t from balding…

Ash: Whatever. That’s a stigmata on your head, right? Which Tarocco is it?

Dante: Hm…this is “L'Imperatore”, “The Emperor”

Dante: Boy…where did you hear about the stigmata?

Ash: So it is a stigmata. Okay, I’ll answer one question for every one I ask

Jolly: Who did you hear about them from?

Ash: Which one am I supposed to answer?

Jolly: Obviously, my question

Ash: Hah…I heard about them on this boat—

Ash: And…hm

(*mad) Jolly: What…?

Ash: The one who answered my question was the old baldy, so I’m answering his question. Right?

(*smirk) Ash: It’s equivalent exchange, right old man alchemist?

Debito: Hahaha…. Maybe he’s actually a good guy? That was a good one he said to the old man

Jolly: Debito, shut up…

Jolly: Answer my question. Who did you hear about the stigmata from?

Ash: Hah? Like I care about your question

Ash: Now answer my question. Among all of you, who is the weakest…, and most important?

Liberta: *glance*

Felicita: !

Everyone: …!

Felicita: !

Ash: Heh…so it was Strawberry Head. I should have restrained her while she was unconscious

Ash: But, I’ve finished what I came here to do. I’ll make a plan and come again. Thanks, Chick Head

Liberta: Hey! Wait!

Nova: Liberta, don’t chase him! Besides that, the skeletons weren’t moving before but now they’re crowding together…

Liberta: Hey, Nova. Just put everyone on the ship to sleep!!

Nova: …Alright. I’ll use my powers. You…

Liberta: Hehe, got it! While you do that, I’ll slice them…huh, what!?

Felicita: !

Pace: Huh? Where is everyone? Debito, you didn’t use your powers, did you!?

Debito: Don’t be stupid, Pace. I wouldn’t use them…what is this…

Luca: This is…

Jolly: …Secure Ojou-sama

Dante: Something’s coming!

Liberta: What!?

??? (Joshua?): Welcome, my brethren…I hope you enjoy yourselves

~*End of Scene*~

Choose a person to act with

(Go to the section for your chosen route: Liberta, Nova, Debito, Pace, Luca, Dante, Jolly, Ash

(Back to Directory)

#prologue #arcana famiglia #vascello fantasma no majutsushi #solar translations #psp game #translation #releases #they changed felicita's voice #it's subtle but different #still don't understand how she can beat mondo but lose to ash here.....#also me: it's byakkomaru!! no jk #so yeah it's spooky spooky skeletons time!#also ash: sasses jolly #debito: you! I like you!!#pfft

10 notes · View notes