#ah well back to bed...
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I draw things for people when I can and talk in the exact way I do in my head (probably comes off as cringe and insane) to cope with everything happening irl but even then sometimes I gotta take a step back and try to look at myself from the lense of someone who is normal and I think, yikes I gotta log off again....
#like when i say things like “meltin them into molecules” and“oh you just pound them into sand and sift it through a pan looking for gold” to#describe figuring out a character's most defining and special traits; this makes 100% sense to me so i will say that#without stepping back and realize “wait this probably sounds insane to everyone else maybe i shouldn't say that”.....#the worst part is i cant even make the excuse that im drunk or high and that's why i say these things... im very boring and uncool and don'#drink or smoke this is unfortunately me completely sober#ah well back to bed...
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Did you *really* go to college if you didn't do this at least twice a semester?
#my roommates at yonsei- which i'm still amazed Noeul is a yonsei grad- would vanish for DAYS into the library#preparing for their English exams#and like- my girls you have a native english speaker back in the dorm can I help you study#but they would BOTH do this when they finally surfaced for air#sophia- she went by her english name- and ryeong-ah; they were both my Sig#they would come back and just scream 'my bedddd' and dive onto sophia's bed#i say sophia's bed because ryeong-ah couldn't be bothered to climb onto her bunk bed#so she'd just lay quite literally on top of sophia#i have a photo it's one of my favorites because you can see that sophia is about to deliver a violent kick to her spine#love in the air#lita#rain#first semester my roommates were all older than me so i was supposed to be polite and i only ever used polite korean#i was perfectly well behaved#but that first semester in korea my roommates were horrible- all were banned from the program they were so bad#but i remember most that at midterms i was studying so hard for my religion in korean history exams that i'd be at the library until 2am#and then walk back to the dorm a mile away- and like everyone was doing that so it wasn't scary walking the mountain at night#but i'd get back and my roommates would be drunk and yelling in the dorm until 6am or so#and that was almost every night regardless#but during midterms i was so tired and so fried and my classes started at 7am so i wasn't sleeping#and i finally showed my roommates that i can say 'shut the fuck up' in korean without any accent whatsoever
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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the eepies (and zoro)
psst @redriotinggg
#one piece#roronoa zoro#nami#usopp#zonasopp#metal STEMs#dw about the bell pepper i was using that to outline#ah fuck i forgot zoro's earrings#knew i was forgetting something#ah well#let's just say he takes them off before bed <- doesn't believe that in the slightest#AND forgot usopp's eyelashes and zoro's ankle scars#im blaming this on the fact that i just wanted this done and didnt bother going back to check character refs lmao#(intended as ship art but you can tag it as whatever)
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sorry u left tags on my post like 30 hour ago and my brain hasnt left it alone since. point of no return billford. in your opinion what would be the equivalent of christine ripping off the phantoms mask?
hmmm
bit difficult, going more literally at the least since bill doesn't seem to care much about parts of his form being revealed
in a less literal way, ford confronting bill after fiddleford falls into the portal might be one, as it's where things reach that point of no return (lmao), and things take a turn for the more violent, as happened in the song at that moment. There's no going back, no playing pretend, no denial, the truth of the matter is out and you have to face the monster.
unfortunately for ford, things did not end so sweetly for him as they did for christine after
#asks#going along more with canon some songs would be moved around#i think wandering child would fit so nicely after ford learns what the portal was for. bill doing whatever he can both violent & not to try#and tempt him back and to turn on the portal. ford knowing and doing his best to resist and yet so so tempted#ough and ''all i ask of you''....#billford#gf#i'd also like to throw in ''devil take the hindmost''. banger song and could be fun to play with in such a context#may not be the best worded but ah well bed calls too late to nitpick
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outragedmermaid -> thewaaywetalk -> sirenascelestiales
So after eleven years on tumblr I made the horrifying mistake of deleting my whole account instead of an extra username 😔😔. I've decided this calls for a rebrand, sorta
Name's illy, hispanic, about 30, east coast usa
I enjoy/post about: art books celestial motifs current events fashion films food funny stuff/memes jewelry mermaids moodboards music parallels people /celebs (usually for their fashion) photography pink and purple because they're the best colors poetry quotes tv And sometimes I talk
Some of my specific faves of the above are: a song of ice and fire (more books than show but also) game of thrones (occasionally house of the dragon) abbott elementary avatar the last airbender (animated OG) bridgerton chappell roan florence + the machine hozier the good place heartstopper his dark materials the hunger games the ballad of songbirds and snakes pride & prejudice (2005) percy jackson and the olympians shadow and bone six of crows
I try to tag the majority of posts, especially if they could be triggering so: blood, horror, gore, etc. some of the above have content that is not safe for the workplace/tumblr and tagging it as such strikes/hides your page so be wary that that might not be tagged like normal. It is usually only art/not irl but essentially, this blog isn’t for minors. though please let me know if you have a tag/title in mind!
#😔 like i was just back into tumblr#i was going to start to write under my name cause i figured that would force me to own up to it#it wasn't even this current username that I was trying to delete! It was embarrassingly…#me thinking if I ever get famous I should save my irl name like I have on IG and when I re-thought that and decided it was stupid... well#we’re here now…so anyway#welcome or welcome back#i will go back and link these i just don't have anything now 😭#11 years down the drain#ah I’m off to bed now#pinned
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The days were getting shorter and so was Copperhead's tolerance for the cold, the abrupt end of summer leaving a distinct chill in the air he hadn't quite gotten used to yet. Doing so would take time; the changing of seasons always caught him off-guard even though he could feel it in his scales that winter was coming, speeding towards the land on hurried winds of mist and cold. Just the thought made him not want to get up ever again, to never leave this haven of comfort and warmth even though he knew he couldn't stay forever and neither could his guest for that matter, despite having spent a most wonderful night nestled within his coils... A rustle in the blankets caught his attention suddenly, movement in the blankets next to him alerting Copperhead that his companion was not only stirring but beginning to awaken, their new position quickly leaving him cold as their bodies momentarily seperated- "No, don't move yet." Copperhead mumbles sleepily, muscular tail sliding around their torso before soundly dragging them back into his nest of blankets and duvet covers with a soft thump. Renewed warmth instantly floods through his scales, bringing him fresh waves of pleasure though perhaps much to his bedmate's chagrin, now finding themselves being treated more of a captive than lover.
#🐍 || musings#;; drabble#Just a sleepy smol before bed bc Copperhead is a real hog when it comes to bedtime#Mainly when it comes to sharing a bed with someone :')#He will not let them leave until he is good and ready#Unless it's an emergency GOOD LUCK#;; sinday#I'm not sure what I was doing with this but I'm sure I'll be disgusted with my writing when I wake up#Good news everyone just one more shift tomorrow and schediule should be back to normal!#Then again that's what they said last time lmao#Ah well we shall see#I'll try and get a response or two eked out in the morning my writing has suffered HARD in this workload#Just wanted to write a sleepy snek I guess :')#Some muses he will absolutely do this to asdfghjkl
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♡
#ran errands all day 😵💫#errands and cooking and cleaning the usual#got my business cards!! lemme know if you want one ☆#ive been so frazzled today smh its just been one thing after another after another#i ate a live ant for 20 dollars.#you didnt need to know that but thats probably the most exciting thing that happened aside from the cards lol#got some bday stuff for my sister#I'm ready to just drop as always#tired as anything#missing the warm comfort of dreams and bed#gonna go out tomorrow to drop off some cards to a few bookstores#i put a little cutesy blue bear sticker on the back of my phone hehe#im rambling#i suppose rambling is kinda the point here#ah well#pavi talking
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one of my exams today was so horrible i started crying lmao
#i passed with a good grade but literally what the fuck was that.#i have some traumatic experience with oral exams from the law school and it all came back#the guy asked me what's wrong and told me he thought my essay was good and only wanted me to explain some things#LIKE?? HELLO???? YOU'VE BEEN TELLING ME I KNOW NOTHING FOR THE PAST 20 MINUTES#like literally i told him abt different types of discrimination with examples and he went. “there's no discrimination” :)#like when i talked abt how poor n hungry kids don't have the same opportunities as kids from well-off families he told me it's not true#and when i told him abt gender inequality he told me there's no such thing and that maybe it's my insecuritiee#insecurities*#he basically spent 20 minutes negating my EVERY WORD. like if i said the water is wet he would said that it's dry!!!!#and i was so pissed off and so stressed and he repeatedly asked me one question (which i already answered but he told me “that's not true”)#and i'm on my period so i just :) started crying.#like i didn't answer his question bc there was no point and then he asked me what's wrong and i told him this is not. a normal discussion.#and he asked me abt the things i already told him so i stayed silent again#and he went 'ah i see it's starting to look like a civil disobedience' LMFAO#and then he asked me if i wanted to see him again and fight for the highest grade 'maybe with a smile this time'#at which point i was shaking from anger#like no thanks!!! fuck you and i hope i will never see you again!!!!!!!#that was literally traumatizing#but after the exam i went to a pride parade :) and then i had another exam which went very well#and then i got some food and went for a walk and now i'm chilling and reading in bed#but god. what a day#k.txt
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Today's this week's this month's theme is staring at a blank page and having no clue where to start
#the cheering is like half sarcastic btw?#its in a 'yay I feel so burnt out' way if that makes sense?#like typing/saying yippee multiple times to relieve stress and cheer yourself up :]#i should be in bed rn getting back into routine... ah well I've still got time to catch up lmao :P#spiltsorbet#assignments suck but at least they're not exams 🎶
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Another morning another day
I've been thinking a lot about going to the animal shelter
#speculation nation#there r many cats there and i have an aching spot available for one#passively thinking about getting a kitten. just bc id enjoy getting to raise a cat for once#and i think tally would be a good big sister given how much she groomed cassy#at the same time tho i wanna adopt a cat that might not otherwise be adopted so quickly. aka an adult cat#& also like with tally. i very purposefully picked out the loud black cat bc everyone was passing her up#but she was YELLINGGG at me from the cage. and i was like 'oh alright' and took her home#and now shes my sweet darling girl. she just needed like a year to chill out so she is no longer a chaos demon lmao#it's also hard to know what youre getting with a kitten. and it's a lot of resposibility. so like. idk.#but also. Kitten Cute... 🥺#i'll have to see what they have when i go there. still not happening for at least a few more days.#it feels too soon rn. but im thinking about this all to cope lol. i hate having only one cat.#i keep wanting to go out to greet Cat Number 2 in the living room. but. nope. so i go back to greet tally on my bed#she's a loving cat but she does Not like to be smothered. and im kind of smothering her lmao#that's another reason to get a 2nd cat. yes i want tally to have company when im gone at work#but also i need a second cat that is very affectionate bc I Want My Hugs And Kisses Dammit#idk when im getting his ashes back. probably somewhat soon. id estimate tomorrow? they were rly quick with sammy's#idk what im gonna do if they call while im at work lol. cry probably.#tho i havent cried in almost a full day!! been like 22 hours. i have been Trying to cope. mixed results.#ah well. c'est la vie and all that shit.#animal death ment/
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fridayyyy....
#extremely specific thing is very funny to me but too complicated to explain and no one else would get it but. LMAOOO#cant belieeeve its already friday.. i go back to work in 4 days 😔#AND 2 of those im gonna have to travel + do chores so really i only have one day of holiday this entire break. sighs#i have a mile long list of things to do once im home and half of them are gonna be so awkward to fit around work#but whatever. everything will work out somehow. man ill be glad to be back in my own bed tho#tiiiired.. ive been sleeping kinda badly at my dads bc theres a lamppost right outside my window so it doesnt get dark enough#but just one more night ill survive#it has been nice to see him + my mum at least. i just wish work would give me a second holiday just for me... ah well#.diaries#please dont let the trains be terrible tmr 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 i just wanna get hoooommmeeee
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ok ok
#1. get out of bed and do morning routine [at 2 pm]#2. retrieve tablet and computer. proceed to spend time finishing two drawings.#3. do whatever the fuck else dor the day. 2 drawings max fuck y'all#ok? ok.#also stop crowding front you idiots or i will start Biting fuck y'all. anyways#pk;m edc🟣#if i could I'd clear front [aside from 🔵. they can stay 👍] but i don't think i have that power. ah well i can try!#oh! afterwards#4. urls! for funsies. though given the uh. *gestures* should we set up blogs rn we'd.#Well i guess just stating 'fictivw' somewhere will be disclaimer enough right? ok ok. back to step 1
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Living in Germany is a cliché sometimes. My student neighbours are having a party because it's Friday evening and they do that from time to time. Not often enough to get annoying, but today it's warm and they're on the balcony and pretty loud. A couple minutes after 22:00, which is the official time you have to be quiet, a guy stops on the sidewalk and starts yelling at them, "Hello? Hello!". No reaction from the neighbours. He tries a couple more times but eventually huffs, shakes his head, gets on his bike and rides off. What?
Funnily enough, I see my landlord walk to the street corner he turned and look up the street after him. Unfortunately he didn't catch him because honestly, that would have been a fight of the 50+ year old male Karens and I would have been very entertained by it.
But yeah, no idea what the guy's deal was, he should just let people have fun if it's not even affecting him. Gotta love Germany and people wanting to uphold The Rules.
#my actual life#honestly i only ever complained about a neighbour party once#and that was when i was studying and had an exam the next day#and they were very understanding#but the guy talked to me for like 10 minutes while i wanted to go back to bed#and i think the music didn't turn down a lot either :p#ah well#if they're still loud by the time i go to sleep i'll just use my earplugs. problem solved
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ok done jinxing myself. in for the night NO shovelling till the morn.... a brief reprieve from the harsh sudden winter....
#hoping the snow isn't that bad but shrug... don't mind if it is honesty#shoulders kiiiiilling me bc i'm so out of practice lmaooo#i did do a lot of extra work for the neighbours today just to be nice so i can't complain it iiiiis my fault#in the mornings tho i'm less 'nice' and more focoused on just getting the paths clear and getting back into bed#maybe it won't even be that heavy and i'll be able to use the leafblower..... hm....#ah well. for me to worry about later.#for now i will curl up in bed under the covers with some nice leftovers and some pokémon#sudden thought: this is just like those dumb knock off frostpunk mobile game ads#where the world freezes over in seconds and one dude has to save all these women were were frozen by picking up sticks
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i’m finally back home
#ye olde text post#i really enjoyed my stay at the hospital. i feel like the therapy helped#but im glad to be back (i really missed my bed)#going back to regular life feels kinda weird tho#and not being around people all the time is also kinda strange#i mean i do have room mates but its not the same because 1. we're 4 instead of 25 and 2. people usually stay in the room the entire da#day*#ah well enough rambling#im happy to be back
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