#ah skeet skeet

[sirlonius]

There's nothing like laughing together in the midst of some really good sex.

[marrziy]

Que mania desgraçada é esse de botarem homens bonitos pra interpretarem os psicopatas nos filmes e séries de terror?

A gente até tenta gostar dos certinhos, mas aí tacam essas tentações como vilões

[girlboss-pussy-queen]

why are there so many attractive murderers in movies/shows- i'm going feral

[flaringgoosebumps]

Locking eyes across the dance floor, time nearly stopping while get low by lil jon and the Eastside boys plays in the background:

[number-1-panstander]

people always skeet skeet tilll they can skeet no more. goddamn

[roadkillremi]

Our beginnings.

Billy Loomis X The craft!F!Reader

Kinktober bonus

(if you haven't seen The Craft (1996) I recommend it. Skeet Ulrich is also in it.)

MasterList. Kinktober

Summary : People didn't like the fact you and Billy Loomis were together. They called it the downfall of Billy Loomis, due to his mom disappearing. People claimed the two of you didn't seem to match.With his sun tan and toned body and your black clothes and eye liner.

Warnings : Minors DNI, language, reader is a witch, hate sex, p in V, billy shows toxic behavior, reader is a witch, language, hatred, Billy mentions wanting to gut reader, characters are 18+

One might say at one point in the past you despised Billy Loomis. He hooked up with girls and left them while cheating on his girlfriend. He was the type of man you wouldn't be caught near. Until he "bumped" into you at Bradley's Video.

"Ah, sorry didn't see you there.." he smirked picking up the movies he dropped. He glanced up trying to see up your black skirt. You scoffed and snatched the movies holding a cigarette in your other hand.

"Smoking's bad for you." He added. You blankly looked at him, "Like you care.". You started walking to the front counter. He scurried in front of you, "You know I really do.". He grabbed the cigarette from you holding it gently. You rolled your eyes continuing to the counter. He smirked watching you walk away.

During lunch you sat by a tree in the courtyard. You noticed Billy slouching over to you. He shoved his hands in his front pockets.

"Hey"

"Hi." You muttered. You refused to look up at him and continued what you were doing. He looked over to his friend group then back at you.

"Do you wanna sit with us?" He offered.

"Tempting. But no thanks." You roll your eyes. Billy looked down at you before walking away. You glanced up watching him walk away, you had to admit he had a cute ass.

It was like this for weeks, Billy talking to you out the blue. One day you broke during lunch. He walked over again looking down at you.

"What do you want?" You fussed. He smiled, "Just to talk.".

"Listen. You can talk to plenty of girls-"

"But I want to talk to you." He grinned. You raised your eyebrows and shook your head.

"Sure." You muttered. You closed your notebook scooting over to make room for him. He sat down beside you looking at your notebook.

"I uh- heard you were a witch-" he whispered. You looked at him, "Uh-huh.". He studied your face, "Like you worship Satan?".

"No." You grinned. He smiled and nodded, " I'm not.. judging. I was just curious.." He leaned closer. You stiffened, "So that's why you wanted to talk to me.". Billy looked over at you, "No. I wanted to see if the rumors were true.".

"Never said they were." You added. He grinned, "I like you.".

"Sure.".

That was the beginning of your weird friendship. Yeah I started sitting with his friend group. Whenever he showed Sydney PDA he'd stare at you. You just glance back at him and then ignore him. But as soon as the killings started he distanced himself. If you tried to talk to him he'd stare at you and walk away. You went back to your habits of not talking to him. And he went back to his habits of sleeping with other girls.

That's also when you started receiving weird calls. The Ghostface attacks also started but no one was killed. You didn't think anything of it, it was probably kids from school pranking each other. You then started getting the feeling of being followed. You glanced over your shoulder, nothing. You went back to walking shrugging it off. Once you got to the woods to carefully stepped inside.

The crunches of the leaves blinded your senses. You took deep breaths finding a spot for you to sit. You opened your bag bringing out your notebook and candles. You unfolded a cloth laying it down. You sat your candles up and lit them. You proceed to put a piece of bread on the cloth.

"So you are a witch?-" a voice interrupted. You jumped looking back, "Don't worry. I won't tell." He added. You glared at him about to blow out your candles.

"I didn't mean to disturb you." He sat down beside you. You sighed, "Well you did.". He grinned, "We have a lot more in common than you think.".

"No. We don't." Your voice was stern. He glanced down at you with a slight smile. He then looked at your stuff, "You can leave." You added. You tried to persway him to go, he just sat there.

"I don't like Sydney." He mumbled. You rolled your eyes, "So that's why you cheat on her.". You acted surprised before glaring at him. He gave you a stern look, "I like you.".

Your stomach dropped, you clenched your pen. You started packing your stuff, "You are impossible.".

"What?"

"You ignore me for a month because you like me?!? Billy Loomis? Of all people?! I'm not stupid!" You shouted. You stood up trying to walk away. He grabbed your forearm and gave you a stern look.

"Don't you dare abandon me." He whispered. You froze, "Are... are you threatening me?". He blinked, "No.".

"Listen, Billy. I am capable of more than you know." You yanked your arm back and started walking away. Your combat boots stomped over the twigs and crushed leaves. Billy followed close behind you, "will you stop?".

"Uh, no. I will not." You pushed past the tree tunks. He grabbed your forearm pulling you towards him.

"I need your help." He admitted. You pushed him in his chest, "So all that? Cause you want to use me?!". He shook his head, "No just stop!".

"You stop!" You kept walking away. He grabbed your arm pushing you against a tree.

"Just Listen." He demanded. You leaned your head back against the trees bark.

"Fine." You gave in. He backed away, "I need your help and Stu... he's well Stu.". You stared at him not understanding what he wanted.

"I.. I'm Ghostface." He looked down at you. You blinked and huffed, "Okay, sure.". He looked you up and down, "You don't believe me?".

"No." You started walking away, you spotted a street light in the distance. Billy groaned and pulled you into a kiss.

"How is that supposed to help your case?!".

He shrugged looking back behind him then at you. You rolled your eyes, "I'm done with this conversation.".

"I just thought you'd understand."

"You're trying to use me!" You shouted.

"Just shut up!" He yelled. You stared at him, "Please just... give me a chance.. you're the only person worth my time.". You stood in disbelief and smiled softly at him.

"I'll give you a chance. But fuck up... you're life will be ruined." You pointed a finger at him. He smiled and kissed you, "Uh huh..".

That was the origin of Billy's secret affair with Woodsborow high's local witch. Then the secret wasn't so secret, Sydney up and "vanished" out of town. People got scared of you and Billy together. He was already intimidating but with you by his side, he was frightening.

Stu even panicked a little seeing you. He stared at Billy like he was crazy. You tilted your head and looked at him.

"What does she want?-" he looked back at you. Billy glared at Stu, "Calm down. You'd like her... let's say... she makes our problems.. vanish" he grins. Stu looked down at you, "Whoa.. no freaking way..". You rolled your eyes, "I'm not a magician.".

"Yeah .. okay sure." He kept looking at you. Billy wrapped his arm around your shoulder and smiled.

"She knows about.. our friend.".

Stu tilted his head confused, his eyebrows knitted together. Billy huffed punching the bridge of his nose, "Ghost.".

"Oh! Yeah!" He smiled then went into shock.

"You said not to tell a soul!" He shouted. Billy grabbed his shoulders, "Just shut up!". Stu obeyed and looked at you, "Fine. Whatever. She can come over.". You rolled your eyes as he walked away.

"Is he always like that?" You ask. Billy stays silent grabbing your hand. You look up at him, " why did you make him invite me to his house?". He looked down at you, "For privacy." He smiled.

He was right, Stus parents were never home. Stu practically gave you a room, which you gracefully took. Billy would stay in that room a lot with you. He'd watch you do whatever you needed to do. If it was cursing someone or just a shrine. He'd then watch a movie with you as you fell asleep. You couldn't complain, your life was better with Billy. Until he mentioned his plan...

"I'm not doing that." You stomped away. He walked after you, "You made Sydney go away!"

"I made her and her dad move in the middle of the night!" You yelled. You walked into your room waving your hand to slam his door into his face.

"Stop slamming the door!" Stu shouted from his room. Billy stood Infront of the door, "come on!".

"No!" You yelled. You crossed your arms staring at the door.

"I'm not killing anyone." You added. You heard a dark chuckle from the door.

"It's more of justice..."

"Justice?" You opened the door.

"Casey is a slut." He stared her down. You shake your head, "It's over.". Before you could close the door he pushed himself through.

"You're not abandoning me." He threatened. You grabbed your book bag shoving things inside it. He snatched the bag throwing it on the ground.

"Billy stop it or else." You warned. He stepped towards you, "Or else what?!" He laughed.

"You're nothing without me!" He yelled. You winced, "That's not true.". He stared down at you, "Uh huh, sure. You even thought I loved you.". You froze, "You psychotic bitch!". You grabbed the bag off the floor heading towards the door. He grabbed your arm pulling you into a kiss. You pushed him away and stared at him, "What is your problem?!". He just smiled at you, "Maybe I was too nice.. I did love you.. but God your chanting!".

You rolled your eyes at him, "And that! God I fucking hate that! You're such a damn brat! I just hate you!". You raised your eyebrows and stared at him.

"Billy listen to yourself.".

"No! You listen to me!" He pinned you against the bed and parted your legs with his. You gasped and stared up at him, "I just.. I hate you so much... that I love being around you..". You blinked, "That sounds so stupid. This is stupid! I hate being with you!". He glared down at you, "yeah? Me too! It'll just fuck you until you stop being such a damn brat!".

You panicked a bit, "Billy I never ha-"

"I know.. its alright." He smiled flipping your plaid skirt up. You breathed heavily confused if you wanted him or not. He pulled your underwear down before stuffing it into your mouth.

"Just shake your head to answer." He mumbled. You nodded he unzipped his jeans and pulled himself out.

"It's okay, right?" He stared into your eyes. You watched him lightly stroke himself waiting for you. You nodded again, he smiled shoving himself into you.

"So fucking wet.." he groaned. You moaned muffled, he glanced up at you. He smirked, "mm.. that'll shut you up? Should've done this from the beginning.". He thrusted into you, he stared in your eyes.

You felt tears build up, unsure of where they were from. His harsh words or his cock stretching you out. You whines were muffled and ignored by him. His eyes scanned over your body, he only saw you as a toy. His eyes were content by watching your boobs jiggle as he thrust in. He grunted slamming himself into to see them jiggle more. He finally took your underwear out of your mouth and smirked.

"You're a moron." You spat. He leaned down close to your face, "Just when I was about to go easy on you.". You scoffed, you didn't want to show him your enjoyment.

"I never wanted to date you. You're an ignorant piece of shit!" You fussed breathing unevenly. He chuckled, "the more you fuss the more you tighten around me.". You glared up at him, he pushed himself into you with a smile.

"I have to admit.. you're a better girlfriend than Sydney ever was." He groaned. You were taken back by his words. You smirked, "So you do like me?". He quickly wrapped his hand around your throat shutting you up.

"There you go, running that damn mouth of yours." He complained. He squeezed your throat a bit as he bottomed you out. You closed your eyes trying not to give him any satisfaction.

"Shit... As much as I wanna gut you-" he grunts. You open your eyes to the word gut, "I just can't have you leave..". The whiplash of his emotions threw you off.

"Do you wanna date me or not?" You spat. He squeezed your throat, "we'll talk about that later..". A bang on the door echoed in the room.

"Will you two fuck quieter?!" Stu fussed. Billy scoffed, straightening his posture he looked over his shoulder. His toned body was displayed in front of you. His t-shirt clung to his torso, you reached out gripping it. He turned back towards you with a smirk.

"Now you wanna play along?" He raised an eyebrow. You pulled him down by the shirt kissing him. He groaned softly against your lips. He gripped your chin making you look up at him.

"Maybe I should keep you around longer..."

[zizbombs]

the entire brockton bay slaughterhouse nine situation should be enough reason to demote legend. literally how does anyone take him seriously. He's wearing the damn suit right, flies straight into the agnosia plague. Obviously, it doesn't work. but instead of flying fucking out of the agnosia plague, he runs around shooting (and missing) everyone in sight for no fucking reason. you literally can cure yourself. are you fucking stupid? and before you say he couldn't heal it this guy walks off endbringers and frustratingly enough has one of the best defensive powers in the series, and while most of his long cape career was spent pushing his work onto other people and posing infront of a camera, i'm sure he's been hit with tinkertech once or twice. Also, gotta love how he manages to fucking miss taylor while she's on atlas. The giant fucking bug thing. dude. it's practically skeet shooting and you have homing bullets how are you this bad at everything

'ah yes instead of curing myself so i can think rationally and better take hold of this situation let me fly around and shoot everyone i see so they stand still (?) or do something i'm not entirely sure what his plan was but considering that the extent of his plans is manipulating children and getting better brand deals it was probably something stupid.

[giggly-squiggily]

TickleTober Day 6 ~Chase~ (Jujutsu Kaisen)

“GET OVER HERE!”

Gojo ran- he ran and ran and ran some more, feet flying across the floors of the school as he took sharp turns and scrambled for balance. Behind him- Utahime was hot on his trail- surprisingly fast when she was angry. “GOJO!”

“That’s my name Uta-chan~” He sang over his shoulder, barely fighting down a laugh as he skeeted around another corner. “You can’t catch me though! Hehehe!”

“You son of a-” Her speed increased- arms pumping and hair flying behind her as she charged him with all her effort. Gojo dived around another corner to escape when-

“Oof!” His face hit the closed door head on, the classroom locked. From the open window, he could see Mei Mei smiling at him, her hand holding the door shut. “Mei Mei! How much is she paying you?” He pulled at the doorknob, growing more frantic when Utahime appeared. “I’ll give you double the amou-AH!”

“GOTCHA!” He was grabbed, thrown to the ground and sat on in a matter of seconds. “You think you’re so funny putting ice down my back, huh? I’ll give you something to laugh at!”

“Wait- Wait, Utahime, spare me-hehehehehhehehehehhehe!” Gojo broke into a fit of giggles almost immediately as her hand weaseled past his collar, shoving the melting ice in her palm down his uniform. “Ihihihihihit’s coohohohohold!”

“Oh, is it now? Here- let me warm you up!” The hands at his neck dropped to his ribs, digging into them viciously. Gojo let out a loud cackle as he arched, feet kicking up a song against the ground as he squirmed. “Feeling better yet?”

“Uhuuhuhuhutihihihiihihime, pleahhahahahse! Geahhahahahaa, nohohohot the rihihihihbs!” He wheezed, weakly pushing at her hands. “Gohohohoho soohohohomewehehehhere ehehehehehlse!”

“First you pull a dirty trick, and now you wanna give me orders?” Utahime dropped her hands to his lowest ribs, making him scream. “You’re in for it now, you jerk! Get ready for my ultimate curse technique!”

[aiyshaaa]

SO MYSTICAL | MUTI- HQ CHARATCERS X VENUS READER

divider by @anitalenia

warnings ! ౨ৎ : fluff , ethereal speical post <3 , smut (?) , bit angst

a/n : I WAS JUST NOW LISTENING TO I KISSED A GIRL BY KATY… SHOULD I MAKE A LESBAIN MANGERS X READER SMUT/FLUFF FANFIC??!?

KIYOKO SHIZUMU - BEAUTY

You felt your lips brushing and wettly over your girlfriend’s lip as you guys made out. You never wanted to push her because you know how fragile she is in general, you guys said “safe sex when reaching 21 or 23”.

You guys kept it that way and would. You just felt different when kissing her lips softly on your bed. You pant as you felt your mouth spread away from each other, “You okay?”

You ask her as she nods replying with yes with out speak. You guys smile at each other as happy that you can trust each other in the relationship. After a moment, Kiyoko looked down from you looking a bit sad about something. “Hey…— what’s wrong Shizu..?”

You look at her while rising her chin. “Did I do something wrong? Did I make you feel uncomfortable during the kiss?”

You asked worried trying to ask what to fix. “It’s nothing baby, just that..”

She looked nervous for what she about ask, “Do you really love me?”

You frowned at the question. “Of course? Why ask that baby?” You asked in awe as the question shocked you.

“Not for my body? Or facial..?” Now this really concerned you as you felt angry about her asking that and gripped her shoulders and spoke to her clearly.

“Are you dumb?! I love your for your feelings, personality! , I love your face! You’re my beauty to beast.”

You say as she chuckled at the reference. “So never say that ever again okay?” “

Got it hon..” She smiles in happiness as she lays on your lap with her head.

—

KENMA KOZUME - LOVE

You and Kenma have been married for 2 years during his career. You support him but you always wanna make sure he gets rest for the night. So the lovely wife you were you made Dinner for him!

A rare medium steak sided with Rice and greenbeans. And a little apple pie :) his favorite. After 1 hour 1/2 of cooking dinner for your husband you knocked on the door that he was streaming in for a few.

You hear him get up and start to open the to end up seeing him with low siren eyes looking at you with love,

“Yes darling?” He sees the plate of food which surprised him as he had food later.

“This for me?” You nod happily as he smiles a took the plate and let you in the room surprising for you.

“Huh?” You questioned as he let you sit in his lap as you approached in front the camera which made the crowd of watchers from everywhere surprise and spam happy that your back on the screen from last time.

Kenma as expected eats his pie first before rapping his arms around you clinging to you as he started to play again on the PC,

“Thank you Baby..” He says as he gets more subby and clingy as he plays which makes you smile happily.

“You’re welcome Ken Ken..”

—

ARAN OJIRO - SEX

You felt pleasure as you felt his cock insert in your clit as he started to thrust in and out in your wet flips.

You whimper in his ear softly as he hit your g-spot perfecto. That’s thing about Aran you though, he was always good at making you feel pleased on the bed or anywhere.

He started to speed up hitting harder and faster. “Ah— baby I’m gonna come—“

he groaned in your ear as you felt both your climaxes collide together as you come in and on each others parts.

You guys pant as he quickly flips you over to give more and skeet on your face.

You feel the warmth on your face as you see his white liquid drip down your face to thighs.

He picks you up to bring you to the bathroom to wash you up.

“You okay baby?” You nod as he put you down in the bathtub and ready it up for you and him.

—

SHOYO HINATA - VICTORY | LAST

You kissed your husband before his match, as you watched you felt happiness having the feeling knowing they were going to win and earn their victory.

Turns you were always right when watching each time. 24 scored against the other team!

You cheer and cheer for your husband as he won and score everytime. And that what makes you smile.

Shoyo Hinata. Your husband. A chapon. A Lovely, honest, and caring man of your life.

As you wait for him you took out your phone to brag about your husband’s win.

As you were you felt your phone be lowered down by soft hands by your husband smiling at you softly like an angel.

“Hi baby..” you hear him say even so soft.

You smile back and kiss him for long passionate time as always. Not until you get interrupted by one of his teammates Adriah who giggled and Sakusa who sighed in disappointment wondering why not saving it for the bedroom

“Okay, Okay lovebirds save the sex in the bedroom—“ Atsumu said teasingly you both.

[luna-the-bard]

I was infodumping at @tertain-the-original about skeemus, and her immediate reaction to Samus finding sick Skeets in the catacombs was to make ✨this✨ masterpiece

Ah yes, the most romantic meet-cute, finding your future wife on a trafficking rescue mission

[baby-alien11]

another Y/N Ulrich Universe thought

ahe always roasts Skeet's characters, especially Billy Loomis and Chris Hooker, we already saw the "Billy was a walking red flag" during 'Fan Expo Denver', but there's more

for example:

"Billy was a shitty boyfriend"

"I'm not defending Nancy, but I'm glad she finished Chris, he was an idiot"

before seeing Scream 5: "if Billy is cheating Sidney, he's doing it with Stu"

"Let them be witches Chris, girls can have hobbies"

*applaudes when both characters are killed*

"Sidney, open your eyes, he's the killer, he's not your perfect boyfriend anymore"

"Sarah will be a better couple with Nancy than with Chris, just saying"

meanwhile Skeet is hearing like this 🕴🏻 but glad his youngest can identify red flags

[smokinsid]

Late Night People

Summer. 2:15 AM. College of Synergetics, Level 3 – REAPER Lab, Rata Sum.

Enid looked wearily at a crumpled pack of cigarettes, then back at her holo-screen. On her desk, a little girl in a big red hat grinned up at her tired face, looking as bright and proud as the midday sun.

For a few weeks now, her research had been chasing its tail. Relative Extraplanar studies- thrill that they were, giving a scientist cause to go sliding orthogonal to the three-dimensional Tyria into realms unknown- were still a headache, at their core. Was a mortal body meant to move that way, or see those things?

“Yes!” Came a low, sonorous showman’s voice from across the room. The attuned crystal in her radio blinked and pulsed in time with every syllable. “And I’ll tell you what else, my friends- if Balthazar can bite the dust, if Kralkatorrik can kick it- then what is there out there for us to worry about? The Arcane Council keeping secrets, hiding things from us? Well, we know why they do that- the slow dissemination of what they really know is what’s keeping them in their seats, after all.”

Smoke Signals with Sidney Figleaf. Venlin Vale Radio, 103.3 K-R-U-E.

The call letters came to her mind automatically. And that voice- “Smokin’ Sid,” on the radio- was her brother.

They hadn’t talked in a while. Maybe she should call him. It had been a long time since the big blowup, after all- and Rucks had turned out alright so far. Still young enough to come back to college.

“Coming up in the next half-hour, we’ll have open lines here on Smoke Signals. Tune your crystals to 1.333.1033- again that’s 1.333.1033, for the Smoke Signals hotline. Call now and get queued up- the subject tonight? Strange lights in the sky! Stranger than usual, anyway. Have you seen them? Tell us all about it. --And now, a word from our sponsors.”

As a jingle played for Royal Kournan cigars, followed by an ad for Oozeley’s Sure-Fire Detergent, she drummed her fingers on the desk and frowned at the blue-gray little crystal in front of her, mounted in a ring of brass.

“Oozeley’s, Sure-Fire,

Made from the goo you trust,

Oozeley’s, Sure-Fire,

For stains, it is a must!”

It was now or never. She grabbed the little brass ring and rotated the pointed crystal within, spinning it like a dial toward the numbers etched into the metal edge. In seconds she was connected, and a pleasant, modulated golem’s voice greeted her.

“You’ve reached the 103.3, K-R-U-E, call-in hotline! Your queue position is currently... SIX. Please hold. Your call will be on the air shortly. Remember to shut down your radio receiver before speaking, to eliminate static and echo. Thank you for calling Venlin Vale Radio.”

Soft jazz rose from the vibrating surface of the crystal, tickling her ear. She set it down on the table and huffed.

She had plenty of time to hang up if she wanted.

“Subject is mysterious lights in the sky- mysteriouser than usual, I should say. Caller number two, you’re on the air.”

Oh, Alchemy. He’s just picking lines at random.

“Am I on the air with Smokin’ Sid?”

“Yes, that’s me. Please turn off your radio, sir, for the feedback. Now, what’s your name, and what do you have to report?”

“Uh, name’s Putt. Work outta Statics.”

“Ah, a fellow Statics, ahem, alum. Wonderful. And what did you see?”

“Well, this was a couple weeks ago, late one night in Brisban- we were listening to the show while we were on stakeout, watching the bandit gangs drift here and there.”

“Ah, sounds like you’re working a security detail. I’d ask you how things are going with the gangs, but let’s focus on the scene overhead.”

“Right, well- me and the fellas like to shoot skeet to kill time,”

“Careful friend, this is radio,”

“Y’know, like clay pigeons, we got some with glow-in-the-dark paint.”

“Ah.”

“And so I was up top of the watchtower, throwing ‘em here and there when I heard the word ‘pull,’ that kind of thing.”

“Putting some lights in the sky yourself, as it were.”

“Mm- so we’ve done a few rounds of this, and I throw another one, and Creidon- big fella, Lionguard, down at ground level, he puts a crossbow bolt through it, sure as sunrise.”

“But...?”

“It got stuck, Sid.”

“In the... clay pigeon?”

“No- well, not as such. It’s like, it punched through the pigeon and hit something else. Something round. Like... shoot, I’m gonna sound crazy.”

“Not on my show, friend.”

“Like a bubble, in the sky. Like someone got a straw under the sky and blew real hard and just... warped it out. The stars looked all stretched and distorted close to the pigeon, got more normal the further out you went.”

“As if the sky itself was... closer, there?”

“Yeah! Damnedest thing I ever saw! Bowed in like the ceiling on a first-floor dorm when the toilet upstairs overflows.”

“Remarkable.”

“The pigeon- and the bolt- just clung to it. And then it sorta... deflated? Just slowly receding until the sky looked normal again. It took both with it! We never got ‘em back.”

“Wow. Not quite what I expected to hear when it comes to lights in the sky, but that certainly is mysterious. Thank you, Putt- the Smoke Signals Research Team will put some time into this one, I’m sure.”

Enid had already taken a few steps away from the crystal, drawing up astronomical charts of the sky over Brisban and running numerous calculations and simulations. A ‘bubble’ in the sky could be any number of things- in her mind, it was some burdensome patch of mist, pushing on the fabric of Tyria. A mistquake? A mist… sinkhole?

“Caller number… six! You’re live on Smoke Signals. Go ahead and turn off your radio, feedback and all that. I need a name, and- what did you see in the sky, lately?”

“…Could’ve been the movement of a human god, they make quite a dent- haven’t heard from Melandru in a minute, have they?”

“Caller number six? Are you there? –Do turn off your radio, please and thank you, for the feedback, then start with a name.”

“Of course, if it isn’t the movement of a god… can we rule out dragons now? Are they done?” She poked at the holo-screen and flipped through archive files.

“…Enid?”

Enid let out a horrible gasp and slapped her radio, then spun away from the screen and rounded on the crystal.

“—Am I on the air? Shoot, I missed it!”

“No, no, you didn’t miss it. Bit of a rocky start, but I’m feeling generous tonight. Now, ah… name, as I said, and, what exactly did you see?”

“Oh, I’m… Enid. I work here on the third level of Synergetics, and…”

“Enid! I knew it was you! Distinguished listeners, we’re hearing live, the voice of my dear sister. It’s been ages. I’m surprised to hear you saw something ‘weird,’ Nid- you always had a pretty high bar.”

In his smoky studio, Sid was secretly reeling. He leaned away from the microphone and pat a box of Shadhavar Wides against his palm to pack them, then fumbled for a little silver lighter. The etching of a bikini-clad human winked up at him as he struck the wheel and took a long, steadying drag.

“Well… hm. What your first caller said caught my attention, so I was in the middle of researching that.

“The- the Brisban case, with Putt? You jumped on it that quick?”

“While I was on hold.”

“Wow. But, ah… do you have your own sighting to report? Something for the audience to chew on?”

Enid tapped her bottom lip and huffed.

“Well, I don’t want anyone to think too much of this, but I have seen something. About three weeks ago. I was up north- in Grothmar, the Charr territory?”

“Beautiful weather up there. Even the storms are nice.”

“Uh-huh. Well, I was studying post-Kralkatorrik brand radiation- the corruption is persistent, you see, and when you have a steady source like a dragon, that’s to be expected. Without it, the flow should ebb and the radiation should begin to decay. But I think that due to the crystalline structure of the corrupted materials, the magic is finding these facets to bounce around on, conserving angular momentum and-“

“Nid, I love ya, but this is dead air. Lights? Sky? We getting there?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. Right. Sid and Sid’s audience. Lowest common denominator.

“It was a symmetrical cymatic response- that is to say, we used our instruments to mess with the cluster of corrupted material on the ground, and were able to have a second team in the mists check their location with identical instruments. We’d make a tone, they’d detect a tone.”

“More of a sound in the sky, but I’m with ya so far. So this krewe, on the other side of the veil, so to speak, they could hear the sound you were making, and… what?”

“Well, that’s the revolutionary thing, Sid. It’s the first time we’ve been able to accurately, linearly map the coordinates of a location in the mists, as it relates to a location in Tyria! By measuring the offset between the two, we were able to calculate that the mists themselves are at an orthogonal angle to standard Tyria- our North is their West!”

“…Fascinating. And the implications are… staggering, I’m sure.”

Her expression flattened and she ran a hand across her face. Lights. In the sky. Right. Let’s get to that before he moves on.

“So this relates to Putt’s bubble, you see. The fact that it welled up at all, how it moved, where it came from- to your listeners’ great satisfaction, we did see lights in the sky that we couldn’t explain. Not a bubble, no- but I theorize we saw the shear between Tyria and the mists. Sending such a direct signal from one to the other had an effect on the boundary between realms… and somebody, we speculate, didn’t appreciate that.”

“Oh. Oh! Hey, that’s juicy, you should have started with that! No flair for the dramatic, this one. So let’s get into that, specifically- what did you see, that gave ya cause to speculate that?”

“At first we thought that we’d kicked up a storm. Cloud-to-cloud lightning, and lots of it. But… I hate to hand it to the humans, especially after the Balthazar thing, but they might be onto something with some of their gods.”

“You saw one?”

“We saw a hand. Specifically, the underside of one. Curling fingers, drawing across the realm-shear, constructed out of lightning. It was vague at first, but as the digits moved, there was no mistaking it.”

“Wild stuff, sis. I wanna take a shot in the dark here, because I know you- I know there’s more at play here than just you seeing something. Did your krewe in the mists see something too?”

“That’s the kicker. They saw the other side of the hand. They thought they were having tech issues, an overloaded crystal somewhere, until screens started blowing out and lightning started leaping everywhere. Had to evacuate their work camp while huge knuckles made of static discharge just sort of… raked through their whole shop, destroying anything they couldn’t carry out. Made a circular motion, seemed to… stir up the mists? Maybe… froth them back up, after we’d thinned them out?”

“Holy crap. Now that’s the kind of mystery I’m talkin’ about! The nature of the human gods, or whatever they are! Why would it do that? Does this mean that gods are making other lights in the sky? Did a god blow Putt’s bubble? We gotta get some humans on the line- they got experts, right? Like, uh… religious… scholars?”

“Isn’t that a bit of an oxymoron?”

“Nid, be nice. We take all kinds here on Smoke Signals. –Speaking of which, our next caller’s been on the line quite some time, waiting for their chance. Boy, but this was a doozy. I’m gonna run a golem down to your lab with my personal number. Maybe the Smoke Signals research team can lend a hand with this, huh? –‘Til next time, though, goodnight!”

“…Yeah, see ya around, Sid.”

“Thank you for calling 103.3, K-R-U-E, Venlin Vale Radio!” A familiar automated voice chimed.  “You have been disconnected! Please wait five minutes before placing another call!”

And then the line went quiet, the crystal dark.

She turned on her radio and returned to the holo-screen.

“—aller number one, you’ve been awfully patient, you must have something reeeeeeally important to share! Turn off your radio and give us your name, if you please.”

As the next caller regaled Sid with tales of a “boat” they saw in the sky as they were hiking in Dzalana, Enid immediately tuned out.

Sid… she really didn’t have any reason to want his respect. In fact, he should be treating a professor of her caliber with a little more deference, when you really looked at the situation from the outside in. But here he was, regionally-famous radio host, urging her to get to the ‘good parts’ of her research and shooing her off the air when he thought she’d said enough.

Why did that cut so deep? As nice as it was to talk, it was painfully one-sided.

She knew he had a good mind. An inquisitive and dutiful mind. He’d volunteered to serve in Orr, after all, and was instrumental in reporting troop movements back to Claw Island over secured channels and providing music to those same troops over unsecured channels, using just deft hands and a junky set of equipment he’d cobbled together.

She was finishing her first doctorate at the time, too young for the Priory to deploy her- and too young for the College of Synergetics to let go of her, besides. When the news came back, she really thought of her older brother as a hero. Silly old Sid, a war reporter.

But maybe he was just a nicotine-stained, slimy, self-serving, cabbage-fucking-

She took a deep breath and shook her head. He had given her a lot of airtime to tell a complicated story, and he was sending along a means to talk privately, finally!

But it was the ‘he had given’ part she took painful umbrage with. How is it that he’s always in charge of these things? Effortlessly, as if it’s his right? There was a real mystery. Lights in the sky are easy to explain compared to that.

She continued to grumble as she prodded at the screen. As the pink holographic text started to blur, she looked away and found herself staring at the framed photo of her daughter, grinning up at her with gap teeth and bright eyes.

“He’s repulsive. Rucks, how did he ever get in your head? If you had focused on your studies, you’d be here in the city with me, instead of…”

She couldn’t remember the name. Some backward human fishing village across the sea.

Enid pulled open a drawer and retrieved a bag of hard candy. It was right next to her cigarettes- Skrittmann’s Menthol Silver Slim 120s. She frowned at the half-full softpack and shut the drawer, then popped a thumb-sized cylinder of blue raspberry into her cheek.

The clock struck 3:00 am, and there was a knock at the door.

“It’s open,” she called out. The interlocking hatch doors slid apart, and a golem stumped into the room, carrying a teal holopad in one hand and a book in the other. She met it halfway and it held its hands up in an oddly childlike fashion, offering both at once.

“This must be the private number, and… what’s this, now?”

She took the book and frowned at the cover, reading aloud in a flat, irritated voice:

“Up In Smoke – One Asura’s Journey from Lowlife to High Life, and How You Can Too.”

Alchemy fucking preserve me, it’s signed.

She scowled at the silver paint-pen signature across the dustcover, and flipped to the first page.

To Spokes- it takes balls the size of honeydews to ride a ten-speed through Malchor’s Leap, and you did it every day. I might have quit radio altogether if you hadn’t brought me those letters from Camp Narthex.

“DEDICATION

To the 113th Ground Artillery Regiment- you guys were a real peach to bivouac with. Sorry about the latrine. You’re welcome for the case of Gorepelt Supreme I found- didn’t take us long to get through those bottles, did it?

To Professor Qlatt, Statics Earthworks Division- sorry I kept putting stuff in my nose, man. I got an attention span you could fit in a teaspoon with room to spare, and you sure were patient. I ain’t coming back, but if you want that homework I owe ya, I eventually filled it out.

To Ma & Pa- I just hope you’re glad I figured out something to do.

And to my sister, Enid. You don’t just make them proud, you make me proud, too. It’s a big ask, but keep achieving for the both of us. When I say you’re Council material, it’s the only time in my life I’ve ever not meant it as an insult.”

Enid swallowed, frowned, and pat the golem on the head, sending it clunking off back into the hall.

“Guess I’ll call him,” she exhaled through her teeth.

“Just… maybe tomorrow.”

She set the book face-down on her workbench and took another deep breath, then turned her eyes back up to the screen.

She’d never admit it, but they both wanted the answer to the same question.

Just what is going on up there, anyway?

[geoffreymccullum]

thank you for the tag @despicablediet! <33

1: Are you named after anyone? I chose the name Percy after growing attached to Percy de Rolo from Critical Role znasdnansdna

2: When was the last time you cried? uhhh like last month

3: Do you have kids? Naw

4: What sports do you play/have you played? I enjoy skeet and swimming, but I never joined any clubs when I was in school

5: Do you use sarcasm? With friends, sure

6: What's the first thing you notice about people? Details of the face, but I normally focus in on the eyes

7: What's your eye color? I've got central heterochromia. Dark green on the outside, brown ring around the pupil

8: Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. Scary movies aren't my thing

9: Any talents? I don't see myself as a master of any craft, really. I'm a writer and a baker, and if need be, I can unload endless information about reptiles

10: Where were you born? Connecticut ✌️

11: What are your hobbies? Mmm writing, baking/cooking, jamming out to tunes, readin' fics, but mostly video games (ft friends). Every once in a while I think about getting into knitting, but I haven't put the time into it yet

12: Do you have any pets? I have a bearded dragon named Leviathan and a Shih Tzu named Brody. Perceive him

13: How tall are you? 5'6

14: Favorite subject in school? Chemistry and Psychology are pretty tied

15: Dream job? Ah, well, I still hang on to wanting to be a pharmacist even though I had to drop out from college taking a mental toll on me at the time. Still things that require degrees, but I also like to think about being a herpetologist or be a crematorium operator one day

[thenixkat]

good golly the art in this issue

whent full extreame 90s

superman's back and he has a mullet

Guy did get a haircut. Man's ot rocking that hideous bowl cut anymore Wonder Woman lost her ability to fly off screen Ice, I get you miss home, but if all that melts while yer away on a mission that would fuck up the whole building

Ice gained superstrength and the ability to fly after fighting her brother and absorbing some of the magic from the staff that his benefactors gave him

this paneling is overly dynamic for what's going on right now

ah teh casual ableism in comics. Ted getting called a head case for becoming withdrawn after his coma and more easily stressed out by shit this level of detailing is excessive

ALso why is Oberon lean now? He used to be stockier

RIP to this dude Everett becoming aware that destiny is gonna force him to become a superhero, something that destroyed two generations of his family, and reacting to it with the appropriate horror of his situation

also some big cosmic fuckshit is heading to Earth giving fuckers prothetic dreams and premonitions that Dreamslayer guy that once possessed Max and tried to seduce Bloodwynd is involved with shit

I'm currently on issue 87 of 113

so Skeets and Ted have been collaborating offscreen working on Booster's fugly new suit. I would have loved to have seen them working together, b/c I wanna see Ted be friends with Skeets

I'm actually surprised that Ted hasn't been having issues managing his weight post coma given its been implied that he's a stress eater and he most certainly has reduced his exercise between lingering chronic pains and being unmotivated granted that would mean Ted's weight issues existing outside of being a gag and the series has taken a more serious bend with the past few writers

also man, Skeets has been underutilized since he got out of that box

of course using Darkseid's cred to make the new threat sound more dangerous

the fuck is going on with Bloodwynd's cape? that much fabric would be a hindrance

also Bloodwynd is still teh only recurring Black superhero here. And we've gotten a either join the villain or die ultimatum presented to him so I'm getting the JLA is gonna be all white again soon

against this series isnt beating the racism allegations that started with the Brownface Fire's powers come back while a villain is trying to murder her Captain Atom is a Christian and tries to lecture this cultist on false idols when he should fucking know that other gods exist in this universe

why does Vandal Savage have blue eyes if he's older than the fucking blue eye mutation? Hell, why is he so pale if he's older than any of the mutations that lead to lightskinned people?

like I'm pretty sure even if he's a Neanderthal that they probably weren't that lightskined or had blue eyes (but scientists reconstruct-- scientists have racial biases all the damn time)

also we have so many big name villains coming out of the woodwork to sell the new threat as being teh end of times again there's actual gods on Earth and personified concepts why dont those fuckers do shit? ok Bloodwynd didn't die of get kicked off the team yet granted several characters are still immensely distrustful of the only Black heroes that's been around for the past few dozen issues which is yikes. Everett, the new Amazing Man seems to be set to join soon so we're up to two Black people. Hopefully folks are dicks to him also since when did Oberon get such a tucked waist, he used to be stocky

also Fire, why are yer titties all up on Max's back like that (yes I know its been implied before that she's fucked an employer to get favors nut like) yall about have a meeting oh hey Dr. Light, that's like 3 nonwhite people here

oh hey Booster Gold finally remembered something useful from his history classes

also, if we go with the stable time loop shit (which i dont personally by) Booster's continued existence means this shit didn't end humanity did they retcon the nuclear war being the reason most of this eras' records didn't survive into the future?

Captain Atom who's also been thrown through time thinks they should trust Booster's story

Power Girl's pregnant? I'm gonna assume she lost the baby since I've not heard of her having kids

Ted accuses Booster of knowing shit that would have been helpful and is angry about it

is this what the big bad looks like? That is not hype worthy this generic ass looking motherfucker

Ice got possessed and flipped sides

i just realized that knowledge of teh future records are crucial to this fight but instead of asking Skeets, who has a perfict machine memory, they're relying on whatever Booster remembers from his history classes

once again Skeets being under utilized if I'm remembering right this shit probably killed Booster, who only kept living due to the big bad suspending all death and birth on the planet

yeah that fucking Booster up majorly

[zalrb]

Red White and Royal Blue Review

I'm sorry but as the president's son, wouldn't you know not to get drunk at an official engagement like this?

Is that cake about to get ruined because it feels like the cake is about to get ruined. I didn't see the trailer.

2. Yes, it was ruined. I feel like I should be drunk for this.

3. I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY REPUTATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. I was like what’s going on with Uma Thurman but I realize she’s trying to do an accent. I do not think it’s working.

5. This ... looks weird to me

It almost looks like photoshop, idk.

6. I’ve only been watching this for ten minutes but .. why can’t I remember his name, whatever president son dude, I think he’s the weakest link. The dialogue isn’t as snappy as it thinks it is although I did chuckle at the “you’ll act like the sun shines out of his ass and you have a vitamin D deficiency” but Zahra sells the quick “snappy” wit with more ease than he does. He isn’t comfortable with it.

7. Equerry dude is hotter than both of them.

8. Alex. His name is Alex.

9. Honestly, out of the two of them, Alex is acting like the bigger jackass.

10. Yeah, Alex kinda irritates me.

11. He flirts better with Miguel. Those eyes?

like I know we’re not at the flirty part with Henry yet but I can already tell we’re not going to get the same energy.

12. I don’t think you understand the laugh that came out of my mouth when I saw this

because it’s basically like they each got their own Black Best Friend and I know this is supposed to be like DIVERSITY.

13. “Omg people would kill to come to my NYE party” so far, this is a pretty basic party, sir.

14. So Henry is supposed to be uptight and posh and Alex is supposed to be more carefree, the drunk partier dude, but the thing is, the actor doesn’t come across carefree, he feels like he’s trying to be carefree so he actually makes me feel more uptight than Henry because I’m like, you’re not letting loose but you’re supposed to be the loose one.

15. TO THE WINDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW TO THE WALL! TILL THE SWEAT DROPS DOWN MY BALLS!  AH SKEET SKEET MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, AH SKEET SKEET GOTDAMN!

16. LMAOOOOOOOOO. Honestly, I don’t know if them choosing Get Low as the song they’re supposed to see each other across the dance floor and look at each other longingly is brilliant or terrible.

17. Aww Henry wanted a NYE kiss. Sad face.

18. Henry, I just feel like you could do better than Alex?

19. WE GET IT YOU WERE WORKING CLASS

20. Well at least they’re not Malec when they kiss.

21. He’s reminiscent of a a young Al Pacino -- I’m actually thinking of Al Pacino in Scarface but they did darken his skin for Scarface, which is you know.

22. “He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football” this line is wasted on these two. Jesus, give it to people with chemistry.

23.

he deserves a better scene partner.

24. I can’t believe I’m not even an hour in.

25. Alex, do some work!

26. Oh, this banter is terrible. People are comparing this to Merthur?

27. Wait, but I want to know which other famous boys he’s shagged.

28. This is probably the most I’ve cared about them so far

29. And he's blinking rapidly to show he's nervous but it should be in the body language, Alex is kind of just standing there. It should be nervous and exciting and intimate and thrilling, it's just ... kind of happening. Like the dude who plays Henry, his back must be TIRED from carrying all of this.

30. Ah yes,

it's giving

but way less intimate.

31. OK. So. I was going to add a screenshot but I was afraid tumblr would block it if I did so when they're making love, Alex -- who I almost called whatshiface -- says "I can't believe how wrong I was about you" and here's my thing with dialogue during sex scenes and I feel really bad for comparing these two movies because no one deserves this but it reminds me of when anons were like please watch some clips of the um, what's that movie series based on Harry Styles fanfiction -- After -- WE ARE GOING TO PAUSE TO BRING ATTENTION TO THE PROCESS I WENT THROUGH TO GET THE NAME OF THESE FUCKING MOVIES:

I typed in movie based on harry styles fanfiction and then Google was like Anne Hathaway and I was like what no, there's another movie based on One Direction fanfiction?? HOW MANY ARE THERE? then I was like wasn't Jughead in the movie? but then I forgot his real name so I had to be like Riverdale cast and it was like Cole Sprouse and I was like RIGHT! then looked up his fucking filmography and it wasn't there and I was like I swear I saw a clip with him in it and then I was like RIGHT, he is a twin so then I Googled his brother's name then I got Dylan Sprouse and then I looked up HIS filmography and got the name of the movie JUST FOR THIS BRIEF MENTION IN THIS STUPID POST and I was like, but anons can't search the masterlist??????????

anyway there's that scene where they're having sex in her office or something and like in the middle of them having sex he's like "SAY I'M THE ONLY ONE" or something and it just made me laugh because his voice is unaltered, he just delivered the line like they were having a regular conversation and that's what happens here, Alex just says this line and it takes me out of the moment because I'm like you're not being breathy or moaning or something as you talk, you're just talking like normal? THEN DON'T SPEAK.

32. But what does Alex do? Is he in school? Is he ... what does he do? I know he wrote a memo that nobody read and will probably end up being a huge meaningful contribution down the line but he's talking about wishing he could help more and I'm like what's your job? Like you can still help people in whatever job you're doing, like are YOU going to hospitals and talking to dying children? Like what's happening here?

33. And he's going on and on about making his dad proud and being someone who can do something but you're the guy who got drunk at a wedding and made a 75,000 pound cake fall. I...

34. Ah he's a law student. Volunteer at a free law clinic then, jesus christ.

35. OK their together texts are infinitely worse. "I CAN'T HAVE SMUT FILLING MY INBOX".

36. I mean, Miguel is a journalist, Alex, I...

37. So I'm guessing Miguel will break the Alex/Henry story. Because duh.

38. HENRY IS TRYING SO HARD.

39. "Dad, what is this music? It's so not the vibe" I'm sorry but I find Alex insufferable.

40. Oh so Henry DOES read nonwhite authors, jfc.

41. Ohhhhhhh whatshisface, Alex, is having the IT ALL MAKES SENSE moment, which MUST happen when the love interest is singing, HENRY IS HIS FOREVER BOO. And then of course, princes can't be gay so even though Henry feels the same way, I'm sure he'll be all I TOLD YOU NOT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME.

42. This movie seems like there'll be a rain kiss in it.

43. "Yeah, he's tougher than he looks." You guys were drinking tequila shots, doing karaoke and playing volleyball, not chopping wood for your only source of heat during winter in the Appalachians. Relax.

44. "You can understand my life a little more" which is cool but what about HIS life, Alex? I don't know I just find him extremely self-centered.

45. IT'S LIKE THERE'S A ROPE ATTACHED TO MY CHEST AND IT KEEPS PULLING ME TOWARDS YOU. Yes, I see the Jane Eyre reference.

46. Aww, he's in the pool with his hand over his heart. I needed a better couple for this.

47. And here we go with the downturn before the uptick.

48. He's trying so hard to be melancholy and this is what we get?

A furrowed brow?

49.

I mean are you? What is this, Stefan about Caroline? Please be serious.

50. Well, there's rain. But they're not kissing.

51. "I flew across an ocean" which would be more impressive if you weren't the president's son, Alex.

52.

You didn't actually storm the castle, though. Who are you now, Damon?

53. This should be way more frenzied than it is. He should be yelling, out of his mind, and Henry should be doing exactly what he's doing now.

54.

Well that's because he's amazingly self-centred.

55. ON. HIS. BACK.

56. Stephen Fry being in this is kind of perfect though. I just wish the movie was better.

57. OK well that's over.

[jays-cave-of-rp-memes]

𝕎𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒 𝕙𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕠𝕣 𝕞𝕠𝕧𝕚𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤

"Why was Skeet Ulrich so unreasonably hot in this movie? Like I know the character's a total creep, but still..."

"Gotta love the Scream Queen!"

"No, don't go out there!"

"You're in a garage full of weapons, you idiot! Grab one and use it!"

"Shit, nice takedown!"

"The final girl/guy/survivor in this one is such a badass!"

"Ah, yes, the obligatory tittie shot."

"Jeez, this movie is so predictable..."

"Old school and hokey with mostly practical effects, just the way I like 'em!"

"I've seen this one a million times!"

"Please don't ruin this for me."

"Ah, nope! I-I can't watch this part..."

"Aw, don't tell me you're scared!"

"Are you too scared? We can turn it off, if you want."

"Hold me! Please!"

"I got you. It's okay. Just a movie."

"I like to play detective, try and solve the mysteries before the big reveal. Keeps me from getting scared."

"Could you stay over tonight? That movie really freaked me out."

"That is definitely not how that wound would bleed!"

"Why do you like this gruesome shit so much!?"

"Okay, that is seriously twisted!"

"How the fuck is that person still alive?!"