#agh i hope you can understand how truly happy i am to hear this and how excited I am to have someone think of me like this!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

muwi-translates · 4 years ago

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剣が君特典ドラマCD 若葉風奇譚～江戸花嫁騒動の巻～

Ken ga Kimi Tokuten Drama CD - Strange Tales of the Early Summer Breeze ~Edo Bride Scandal Volume~

Nine track hour or so long drama. No spoilers. As usual, Chinese source with light Japanese referencing.

**Please don’t move this translation or claim it as your own.**

Track 1 - Prologue

Everyone: M-Marriage?!

Enishi: Shh! You’re too loud!

Tsuzuramaru: S-Sorry… but, Miss is getting married…?

Enishi: Well, who wouldn’t be surprised? That one day our princess would actually become a bride… Ugh, those pink cheeks, that silky skin— I can't believe it’s all going to another guy…Gaaah! Princess!!

Saneaki: No, wait, are you sure? It’s so sudden it’s a bit hard to believe.

Suzukake: S-Saneaki’s right! What if you got it wrong? If… if… she got married, I’d get lonely…

Sakyo: You two need to calm down. No matter how much you panic, the problem won’t solve itself. First, let’s listen to what Enishi-dono has to say.

Sakyo: Now then, Enishi-dono. Quickly, tell us what is happening. Hurry and tell us everything you know…!

Kei: You’re the one who needs to calm down! You’re gonna kill him! Let go!

Sakyo: Ah, my deepest apologies. I got a little too… very well, please explain.

Enishi: *gasp* *gasp*...I saw heaven for a second there…

Saneaki: You were really hanging on by a thread there, Enishi-dono.

Enishi: As if you cared about me at all!

Enishi: Anyway, I understand how Sakyo feels. I don’t want to accept this just as much as you guys. The princess getting married to some man…

Tsuzuramaru: I don’t want to think about it!

Enishi: Exactly, to not think about it is to not believe it.

Kei: You’re the one who said it, how could you not believe it?!

Enishi: It’s true I don’t believe it, but I heard it myself.

Suzukake: Heard it? From where?

Enishi: I went to a cloth dealer I knew, and he was talking to me about how his son was getting married soon. Was bragging about how amazing his partner was. I was listening pretty intently, but the more he spoke, the more I thought he was talking about our princess. Eventually I figured out that he *was* talking about our princess, so I ran without even finishing my sake!

Sakyo: And then you summoned us here, yes? I will not say anything about you drinking in broad daylight, I understand the situation well enough.

Enishi. That’s right. That’s why I had to gather all my friends from our journey together from the bridal procession. This is the most serious of emergencies, right? It looked like the cloth dealer’s wedding gift was almost done being prepared, so I thought it would be better to tell you guys as soon as possible.

Kei: Ha. This is stupid. I thought something had happened, but that’s it?

Saneaki: Kei-dono? What’s wrong?

Kei: What do you mean what’s wrong? Cut it out! I was wondering why we had to be called here when it’s just about a girl getting married.

Enishi: You say that, but weren’t you the quickest here?

Kei: Shut up! I… just happened to be nearby!

Tsuzuramaru: Hm? But on my way here a man that looked just like you sped right past me. Did they just happen to look alike? I was walking pretty quickly but he still managed to pass me and disappeared. What a truly extraordinary person…

Kei: *punches Tsuzuramaru* S-S-S-S-Shut up! Stop yabbering! Besides! Enishi, I don’t believe what you’re saying at all. You must have made a mistake when you were all smashed.

Saneaki: Kei-dono is right. If she really were to be married to someone, she would have no reason to hide it from us—

Suzukake: Aaaaah!!

Kei: W-What is it now?

Suzukake: I-I just remembered… when I was delivering medicine earlier, I passed by Princess’ storefront. I think I saw some congratulatory gifts from a dowry being brought there...

Saneaki: What? If that’s true, then what Enishi said might have some weight…

Tsuzuramaru: Ah… it seems that way…

Enishi: Why don’t you guys trust me but trust Suzukake?!

Tsuzuramaru: If this is really happening then… Miss is really being married to some man… Aaaaagh…

Kei: Argh! You’re so loud! Don’t hold your head and start screaming! Oi, Sakyo, don’t just sit there, say something!

Sakyo: Unforgivable.

Kei: Hah? Why’d you stand up for?

Kei: ...Why’d you take your sword? …What are you planning on doing?

Sakyo: What, you ask?

Sakyo: Is it not obvious? I will cut that man.

Suzukake: Cut?! C-Calm down, Sakyo-san!

Tsuzuramaru: Y-You can’t do that!

Saneaki: That’s right, Sagihara-dono. You shouldn’t cut people.

Sakyo: But…!

Saneaki: Even if you injured him, that would change nothing.

Tsuzuramaru: Exactly!

Saneaki: It should be enough to exile him to a deserted island—

Tsuzuramaru: Saneaki!! You can’t do that either!

Kei: Saying some real scary stuff like that… are you forgetting there’s a patrolman here listening?

Enishi: In any case we’re not accepting this marriage. Everybody agree?

Sakyo: I have no complaints. This situation must be stopped, no matter the means.

Kei: You’re scaring us, you need to cool off!

Suzukake: I… I’ve always wished for the Princess’ happiness…so if she really wants to get married, I won’t stop her. But… but, if she’s hesitating even a little… then I hope I’ll be able to convince her to think about it again.

Tsuzuramaru: I’m the same. No matter what, I have to show her my feelings first!

Sakyo: Indeed. I may have been a bit rash...

Kei: A *bit*? A bit my ass. I don’t care what you guys do as long as you’re not cutting down people. And no exiling either!

Saneaki: I will think about it.

Kei: Don’t ‘think about it’, don’t even think about it at all!

Saneaki: No matter the case, I cannot pretend I didn’t hear about this. If this marriage is real, then I am concerned about why she didn’t talk to us about it. This needs to be investigated.

Enishi: Right! For the princess, let’s break this marriage!

Everyone except Kei: Right!

Kei: We’re not breaking anything, didn’t we *just say* we’re investigating? Geez… nothing bad’s gonna happen… right?

---

Track 2 - Kei

Ah, geez, what’s all this fuss about? Those guys got together and made so much noise over nothing, what an eyesore. It’s just her getting married to someone, what’s the problem?

W-Well, it’s worrying that she didn’t mention it to any of us. But just a bit. Just a bit, that’s all!

Hm? That guy ahead of me… isn’t he the young master of the cloth dealers’ Enishi talked about? But who’s the girl next to him?

(Looks like they’re pretty close… they’re walking so close, and they look happy together.

Don’t tell me, this guy’s about to get married, but he’s going on dates with girls in broad daylight?!

Don’t mess around. So he’s not planning on properly taking care of her after all?

That girl’s always working hard no matter where she is, she’s strong-willed but gentle at heart, and she’s an unimaginably good woman. But here you are… Dammit… how could someone like you snatch her up?)

Unforgivable.

Oi, you over there--

Who’s there?! Don’t bother me--

Huh? Ah, i-it’s you?! Wh-What are you doing here… d-don’t you have to watch the store?

Eh? Ah… you were just coming back from the dojo? Ah, well, there’s nothing wrong with that.

(Nothing wrong with that, my ass! It’ll get ugly if she stays here! If she sees that young master walking around with another woman, she’ll get hurt for sure! I need to think of a way to get her out of here fast. Agh! Why do I have to do something like this? But I can’t just leave it...)

Uh… *ahem* ah, um.. that’s… um… ah, that’s right! You look like you’re getting hungry.

You’re not? Just say you are, idiot!

Anyway, there’s a good teahouse over there. Let’s go! Right now!

---

(*sigh* Speak of the devil and they’ll appear, huh… but looking at her, it doesn’t look like she saw the young master. But now that I’ve seen that, to let a guy who hangs out with women like that become her husband-- I’m definitely not going to allow it. But… how am I gonna tell her that? …*sigh*)

‘What’s wrong’? What a sleazy guy! It’s because I’ve been thinking about you that I have this headache!

Huh? N-No, it’s nothing… Anyway, hurry up and eat it. Look, all those fresh beans in this anmitsu is definitely going to taste good-- ah, BEANS?! Ugh, I almost ate them…

Hah? I’m not being weird at all! I’m the same as always! Just hurry up and eat it! Here, you can have my portion too.

(What the hell am I doing? I’m getting way too distracted… Anyway, all I have to say is: “Hurry up and turn down the marriage”. A sleaze like him is going to bring her nothing but unhappiness. The time to stop it is now. No, I *have* to say it! “You gotta give up a guy like that”!)

Hey, you. Just give it up.

Idiot, why are you so dazed for? Did you think I wouldn’t know? I was going to find out why you didn’t tell me. But, I have to say this.

If you keep going like this, then you’re just going to get hurt. I won’t say more on what bad things could happen. So think about it again.

That’s true. You wouldn’t understand what I’m talking about. Because you didn’t see what I saw. But I saw it myself, with my own eyes.

I always thought that as long as you were happy, it would be enough. But I realised this wasn’t right. From now on, I don’t want to see you in pain either. That’s why, just believe in me, and think about it!

Ah! I see, you were already planning on giving it up?

--Why are you giving the anmitsu I gave you back?

Hah? I was trying so hard to get you to give up the anmitsu that you decided you won’t eat anymore?

N-No! I wasn’t talking about the anmitsu!

W-Well, it’s true that I don’t like beans, but I don’t care if someone else eats them! Besides! Being this serious over a bowl of anmitsu, that doesn’t even make sense! I wasn’t talking about that at all!

Anyway! Isn’t there something more important?!

That… you know… what I’m trying to say is-- argh, dammit! What I’ve been trying to say is that I want your future to be happy!

(Huh… huh? What… did I just say?)

*Clapping*

A-ah, no! Wanting you to be happy… that… that wasn’t what I meant! I-- aghhh!!

T-The money… I’m leaving it here! Bye!!

(What am I doing…? I was supposed to have her give up on the marriage completely… in the end I said so many unnecessary things… I’ll… never be able to face her again… Guh…)

---

Track 3 - Suzukake

Suzukake: (There she is… it’s the princess. She’s always sweeping the storefront at this time. If she’s really getting married… I won’t be able to meet up with her casually anymore.

I’ll get lonely.

Hey, Princess, are you really going to get married? Did you really want to get married?

I want to ask her, but I’m scared…

Ah! She spotted me… I… have to go. Even though I don’t know what to say… I-I’ll just talk like I normally do!)

H-Hey, Princess! The weather’s good today, isn’t it?

Eh? Why was I hiding behind the wagon? So I could come and see you— no, hide and seek! I was playing hide and seek!

Mhm! Y-Yep… I was playing by myself! Ah, no… a person can’t play by themselves… uh… um…

(Ugh… she’s going to think I’m weird…)

Eh? U-Uh huh, yeah, I came to see you. Because I have something I wanted to say to you.

(If I say that then there’s no way I’m gonna run away. I don’t want to either! I’m gonna listen to what she has to say.)

Hey… you haven’t been thinking about wanting to get married before, right?

I’m sorry for asking out of the blue… but I really have to know. You might not remember what happened during the bridal procession clearly anymore, but I still do.

I thought you looked really pretty in your bridal kimono then.

You were just a fake bride then but… but, did the princess really have someone you wanted to get married to one day? Was there... a place you wanted to go with someone?

(Why am I asking these kinds of questions? It’s because… I don’t want to let you go. If you go away with that person… I’ll get lonely. My heart will start hurting, and I’ll feel like I want to cry. Hey… don’t go off to another man’s side! Don’t go, Princess!)

Please, tell me. Do you want to get married?

...One day…?

(That’s a lie… you’re about to get married soon, aren’t you? And then we won’t be able to play, we won't be able to laugh together like this anymore.)

*sobs* Princess! You can’t! Don’t go anywhere! I don’t want that!! *cries*

I won’t be able to hug you like this anymore! I don’t want that! Hey, don’t go, alright?

I’ll do whatever I have to to make you smile! If you ever get hurt, I’ll be able to heal you quickly! No… I’d never let you get hurt! That’s why, Princess, stay with me forever!

Enishi: What the hell are you guys doing in public?

Suzukake: Aaah! Enishi?! Let me go! Princess is— Princess is—!

Enishi: How could I let you cry out on the streets? Can’t you see you’re worrying the princess?

Suzukake: How could you be so calm? Separating us is so mean!

Enishi: Hah?

Suzukake: The princess is disappearing soon! She’s gonna get taken away by a man I don’t even know!!!

Enishi: W-Wait! If you say it like that then you’re gonna make me sound like a human trafficker! Look! The people around us are staring! Do you want the police to come too?!

Suzukake: *wailing*

Enishi: O-Oi! Don’t move around so much! A-Ah, you’ll hit the wagon! Aaaagh!!

---

Track 4 - Enishi

*sigh* That got pretty bad… Thanks for letting me rest inside the restaurant, Princess. Suzukake kept coming back too, I wonder what happened?

Ah… you don’t know either. I see.

(Well, he’s probably coming back to listen to any rumours about the marriage… Even though he beat me to it, it looks like no one will bother us for the time being. Plus it’s just the two of us in the restaurant… I guess even the heavens are helping me.)

Ah, no, it’s nothing. Anyway, do you have some time now, Princess?

I see. It’s started to get calmer. That’s good. Hey, Princess, how about we talk for a bit? Here, come sit over here.

(Alright, alright! Everything’s going smoothly. Even though I want to look at Princess like this a bit more, the marriage thing is the most important thing at hand right now. I even made some special preparations for this. I have to change her mind no matter what.)

Hey, Princess. There’s actually something I want to give you.

Here, isn’t it beautiful? This kanzashi.

When I saw it I thought it would suit you so well I decided to buy it. It’s my present for you.

Don’t say that you can’t accept it, you’ll make the kanzashi cry! Besides, there’s nobody else aside from you I want to give it to, so you should take it.

Don’t move, let me put it on.

Come on, if you keep moving around I won’t be able to put it on properly, right?

Yep! I knew it’d suit you! As expected of someone like me, not bad! It’s made out of wood like the ones used for scabbards. Don’t you think that’s nice? You can say it matches the accessories I’m wearing.

Eh? You’re saying this is the first time you know what a scabbard is made out of?

Haha, I’m not *that* knowledgeable yet! Ahaha…

(Uuh… Even though I’m happy she just complimented me, we’re not here to talk about what it’s made out of… I thought it would remind her about the marriage… As expected of the princess, I can’t just use any plain old method… in that case…)

Buuuuut I’m a bit worried…

Why, you ask? Because the princess is just so cute, I’m worried that another man will steal you away.

Maybe that kanzashi can be proof that you should be by my side forever.

Hey… if I said that to you, how would you react? I don’t want to give a princess this cute to someone else.

I’m not playing around, this is how I really feel.

Princess, don’t run away. I want you to listen to me properly. The man you love the most… what’s he like?

You must have thought of someone. Even if you tried to hide it, I can see it clearly. Princess, please think about it carefully.

The man that you’re thinking of right now, is he better than me?

I don’t plan to lose to him. If you doubt my feelings, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll fight him if I have to.

Don’t stop me, there are times where men have to get into battles like this one.

I plan to bring that man here, and have a fight with him fair and square right in front of you.

What? He’s in the house? That’s perfect. Could you do me a favour and bring him out?

(The fact that this guy can just come in and out of her house in broad daylight… I’m so jealous!!— No, he’s about a hundred years too early staying here! Who is this outstanding guy? I’ll personally challenge you! If I win, she’ll definitely change her mind about the marriage!)

He’s out. I’ve been waiting for you. Now, it’s time to duel—!

Ah, huh? Um… I’m pretty sure you’re the princess’ father…?

(Why did her father come out? Hah? I just realised I didn’t specify that I was looking for her marriage partner. Haha, that’s true, if it’s not about love then of course the person she loves the most would be her father. Uh-huh… I see. So… my super serious confession didn’t get through to her at all? P-Princess… I can feel sad too, you know…)

Eh, ah… no, father… fighting fair and square… it was just a figure of speech! F-Father? Why are you grabbing my shoulder smiling like that?

Eh? A cooking battle?

You’re happy because there hasn’t been any youngsters with a backbone to challenge you lately…?? D-Don’t joke, how could a ronin like me challenge the owner of a restaurant?

N-No… y-you made a mistake— this is all just a misunderstanding!!

W-Wait!! Don’t pull me! I know I’m carrying a sword but I’ve never used a knife before!

AAH!! Princess, help me!! Princessss!!!!

---

Track 5 - Interlude

Kei, Suzukake, Enishi: *sigh*

Saneaki: What’s wrong, you three? Why do you look so worn out?

Kei: Why did I… in front of so many people…

Suzukake: *sobs* No… Princess….

Enishi: J-Julienning… no more…

Sakyo: This time it’s Enishi-dono? What a predicament...

Tsuzuramaru: W-What exactly happened…?

Saneaki: Enishi-dono, don’t you have anything to say?

Enishi: I… I’ll never give up! Princesss!!

Saneaki: It’s no use. I can’t get through to him.

Tsuzuramaru: What about you, Kei? What happened?

Kei: I have nothing to say… except… except. That cloth dealer bastard was getting real chummy with another woman!

Tsuzuramaru: What?!

Sakyo: He is already going to be wed soon… and he was with another woman? Unbelievable…

Saneaki: Even if we ignored Enishi-dono for now, if Kei-dono said so then it must be true.

Enishi: Why do you always have to say things that wound my heart?

Suzukake: *sobs* Princess… *cries*

Saneaki: Suzukake-dono…

Tsuzuramaru: I can’t let this go on! I’m going to go find Miss now!

Saneaki: Wait! Tsuzuramaru-dono!

Tsuzuramaru: Don’t stop me! There’s nothing to say about a guy like him!

Saneaki: Ah, he’s gone…It looks like he went without a plan… will he be alright?

Saneaki: Now then, Sagihara-dono, what should we do?

Sakyo: You… To hand her over to a person like that…

Saneaki: …It looks like there isn’t a plan here either. *sigh*

---

Track 6 - Tsuzuramaru

Tsuzuramaru: *panting* I made it…

(Miss… she’s inside. Calm down, Tsuzuramaru. She’s just the same as usual, helping out at home, she hasn’t left the house yet. I can still make it. I should still make it! Now’s the time to be a man, as if I’m staking my life on this!)

*stomach grumbles*

(For my stomach to growl even at a time like this… it makes me hate myself. No… but… ah… that smells so good. It looks like they’re cooking something right now. Are these dried sweet potatoes?

That smell… Miss’ food always whets the appetite. My stomach’s been completely captured. Even if it’s the same dish, if you look carefully, you can tell she put a lot of effort into it. A woman who meticulously works no matter what it is… that’s Miss… I… I…)

*stomach grumbles*

(Ugh… I want to yell out how I feel about Miss, but I’m so hungry I can’t even summon the energy…)

M-Miss? Why did you come outside?

Is that so? Because you saw me? H-How embarrassing. I seem to have gotten in the way of your cooking.

(No, this is a good opportunity. If I want Miss to cancel the marriage now’s the moment!)

Miss… actually, I’ve been wanting to tell you—

Ugh… this… Actually, I haven't eaten properly since morning because of my worries…

I came at a good time?

T-Taste testing? Are you saying I can help taste what you’re making right now?

(What? N-No… why did I come here in the first place? But to decline her offer would be a shame… and I’m hungry anyway…)

T-Then if it’s alright with you, I’ll try a little.

Y-Yes! Excuse me…

Usually the master does all the food preparations. It’s strange to see Miss doing that today.

Hm? A lot of customers came and there weren't enough ingredients? So he went to get some?

Ahaha, these customers can really eat a lot, don't they?

Eh? They weren’t eaten? He just did a lot of cooking? And made a lot of food?

Hm… I don’t really understand, but that’s unfortunate, isn’t it?

(Wait… doesn’t that mean it’s just the two of us here right now? W-What…? My heart suddenly won’t calm down… Anyway, I need to calm down first…)

Sorry, Miss! I was just thinking about something. Ah... did you need me to taste that sweet potato?

Then I’ll help myself.

Delicious! It’s so good! I could taste the flavour of the hot sweet potato as soon as it hit my mouth!

I’m not just being polite! Miss will definitely be a good wife one day.

(Hm? Wife? That’s right… I seem to have forgotten something important. What was it?)

Oh, did you need me to taste that too?

I’m very grateful. Then, if you’ll allow me…

As expected, delicious!

(Ah… I’m so lucky... If I were to marry Miss… would it be like this everyday? Marry? ...Marry? Huh… Something doesn’t seem right. I’ve forgotten something… but I can’t remember.

No, I should be focusing on helping taste test the dishes Miss made herself! If I don’t do it properly there’ll be retribution!)

The flavour of this fried fish is endless! I can’t stop my chopsticks! It’s so good I want to eat it with rice! Eh? Can I? Then I’ll help myself. I’ll eat this rice ball, then!

Ah! So satisfying!

Miss’ future husband is going to be so lucky! Hahahaha….

---

Kei: So. Why did you come back so casually after going out to eat food?!!

Tsuzuramaru: I-I’m ashamed of myself…

Kei: A samurai should stick to his word! Where did all that energy you had when you rushed out this morning go?!!

Tsuzuramaru: Ah… it’s because Miss’ food was so good, I accidentally forgot my original objective…

Suzukake: How lucky, you got to eat the princess’ homemade cooking.

Enishi: Good grief. Let’s not even talk about the food I made, all I got was severe criticism. Huu...

Tsuzuramaru: I-I’m sorry. Hey, where’s Saneaki?

Kei: He just went out. If he can’t do it either, then there’s nothing we’ll be able to do.

---

Track 7 - Saneaki

(The sun is about to set, and the number of pedestrians passing the bridges has fallen. If the information obtained is correct, the cloth dealer’s young master should pass by here around this time. To get to the truth about these marriage rumours, and the fact that he’s been close to other women, I’ll get to the bottom of this here. If there are any surprises…

No… of course, I don’t plan to cut him down. But if it’s just... the back of the blade, then there should be no problem.

W-What was I just thinking? I’m just going to talk to him.

But… contaminating her beautiful and flawless heart, this is a very serious crime.

Hm? That figure… It’s her? Why? At this time?

I can’t believe I’d see her while waiting for the young master… if she asks me what I’m doing, I’ll have no way to answer her.

Ugh, did she notice me?)

What a coincidence.

To meet in a place like this. Although… where were you going at a time like this?

Tsuzuramaru-dono forgot something at the restaurant?

(What was he doing? That Tsuzuramaru-dono…)

Ah, if that’s the case, I can return it to him. No, it’s fine. I have plans to see him again soon, so it’s no trouble.

Hm? Is something wrong?

Are you that surprised that he and I made plans to meet?

(Ah! No, if you think about it, it is strange! I usually live in the mountains far away from Edo, it’s already unusual for me to be on the streets. Not only that, but to also say I’m meeting with Tsuzuramaru-dono, she’ll definitely think something happened.)

Ah, no, Tsuzuramaru-dono and I were… I know, we promised to train together.

Yes, it was a favour he asked of me. I planned to meet up with him for a few duels.

(Looks like she believes me. So the princess's heart is this pure and flawless.

Plus, my heart is hurting as well.)

Hm? N-No, you don’t have to join us. Although I’m aware you're very passionate about the naginata, it is not appropriate to meet men at night.

Even if you ask me… I can’t…

(Oh no… hearing me mention practice… her eyes are sparkling… If I say it was just a lie, then she’ll know I deceived her. But, I can’t bear to refuse her like this.

Is there something I could say that wouldn’t hurt her but make her give up…?)

M-My apologies, but wouldn’t it be too difficult for you? This will be very intense training. It’s not something someone should go into without being fully aware of what it is.

What kind of training is it? Well… that…

(F-For me to lie to a pure-hearted girl… please forgive me for my sins!)

We will cross blades at Mount Nabebuta. With a single slice, we will be able to cleave through rocks and trees, split even the earth and ocean, make mountains erupt flames, to raise gales on flat ground, this atypical power passed under the heavens, the true swordsmanship that governs the universe and all living things! That! Is that we will be training for.

(Is what I said, but what sort of samurai like that would exist?! Even someone like her would notice…!)

I-I see… you think that’s impressive.

No… that… isn’t much.

(S-She believed me? E-Even though I was the one who said it… but to believe even those words is really… Ah… Her trusting eyes… seeing them now pains me!)

What? You want to watch us despite all that? No! E-Even watching us will be difficult.

The reason? The reason is…

(I’ve reached my limit… if I keep betraying her trust in me and continuing saying nonsense… I… I…—)

There’s no possible way I could do that!!

(Oh, God! Please forgive this most sinful servant of yours!)

---

Track 8 - Sakyo

Everyone: *sigh*

Enishi: Look, even Saneaki looks like he’s gone through a tough battle.

Suzukake: It seems so… Tsuzuramaru aside, Saneaki-san looks so defeated…

Enishi: It looks like the sun is setting soon, I can’t believe the mood got even heavier.

Suzukake: *sigh* We’ve really at the end of our ropes, what do we do now?

Enishi: Oi, Kei, don’t you have any good ideas?

Kei: Don’t ask me, go ask Sagihara. ...Huh? Where did he go?

Enishi: Huh? Now that you say it I haven’t seen him for a while.

Suzukake: Sakyo-san had a really scary face all day, is he going to be alright? When he first heard what Enishi told us, he almost lost his head…

Kei: That was the first time I’ve seen Sagihara make a face that scary before. Don’t tell me… something happened…?

Enishi: No… is what I’d like to say, but I’ve been having a bad feeling about this…

Suzukake: A bad feeling?

Kei: Don’t you remember? When we first met up…

(Flashback)

Sakyo: What, you ask?

Sakyo: Is it not obvious? I will cut that man.

---

Enishi: You don’t think he really took his sword and…?

Suzukake: Eh?! Then we have to go stop him!

Kei: I don’t want to believe it but, with a face like that he really might have gone and done it.

Enishi: In any case, we have to hurry…!

Suzukake: Yep! Come on, Tsuzuramaru, Saneaki-san! You have to pull yourself together for the princess!

Tsuzuramaru: A-Ah, sorry. Now’s not the time to be all down!

Saneaki: Even I had been… Let’s hurry and find Sagihara-dono!

---

Sakyo: Without knowing it I came to the storefront…

(Just thinking about her marriage partner gives me goose bumps all over my body in disgust. To cheat and marry a girl who doesn’t know any better, what a despicable man! Absolutely unforgivable.

Princess. I will definitely rescue you from the claws of this demon!

For that sake… yes, I have no choice but to draw support from the power of my blade!

Oh? It seems I have been discovered.)

Good evening, Princess.

Are you alright? To step outside at night like this is dangerous. You stepped out because you saw me?

Thank you very much.

Truthfully, I came to find you because I had something I wished to talk to you about.

Eh? Everyone has been saying they were looking for you?

(That’s true… everyone has been very worried about this issue. You did not change your mind no matter who came to you… That is why, I will use this sword…!

But I cannot do that in a place with so many people. I must find a place much darker, more quiet, somewhere where nobody can disturb me…)

Princess, are you willing to experience the night breeze with me for a while?

---

Kei: Oi! Is he over there?

Suzukake: He’s not! Where did Sakyo-san take the princess off to?

Kei: Sagihara!! Where are you? Come out!!

Suzukake: Sakyo-san!! Don’t hide anymore!

Tsuzuramaru: He really did go to the store, but I didn’t think we’d be a step too late… I didn’t think he’d take Miss, and not the young master…

Enishi: Sakyo wouldn’t get violent towards the princess, would he?!

Suzukake: N-No way! That wouldn’t happen, right?!

Tsuzuramaru: How could this have happened? Miss!! Where are you?

Saneaki: Isn’t he nearby? We should search the opposite side next…

Sakyo: Oh…?

Everyone: W-We found you!!

Sakyo: W-What is it? Staring at me like I am some exotic creature… and being so loud.

Kei: You have the gall to look that indifferent. We’ve been looking for you!

Sakyo: I do not know what happened, but can you step aside? The princess and I have a place we must go, please do not disturb us.

Suzukake: A place you have to go… w-where?

Enishi: Don’t tell me it’s the Underworld…?

Sakyo: The Underworld? Hm…

Sakyo: Haha. Well, if I am with the Princess, then that place does not sound bad…

Tsuzuramaru: Wh—

Saneaki: I knew it�� it’s like that…

Sakyo: I was just teasing, your faces are all so pale. I was simply playing—

Tsuzuramaru: Even if you’re Sakyo, I won’t let you get away with it!

Sakyo: Excuse me—?

Tsuzuramaru: Miss! You can’t lose your life here! Come over here, run!

Sakyo: Where do you think you’re going? Wait!

Enishi: Tsuzuramaru, that guy’s getting the spotlight! As if I’ll let him! Just you wait—

Saneaki: …There’s no choice.

Suzukake: W-Wait! Everybody!

Kei: That idiot! Dammit…

---

Sakyo: I… I finally caught you… Princess… come, this time… you and I will… together… go…

Tsuzuramaru: I… I won’t let you! Sakyo! Think about it again properly!

Sakyo: No matter how many times I think, my feelings will not change!

Kei: You finally drew your sword, huh, you blockhead!

Saneaki: Sagihara-dono! Do you really think doing this will make the princess happy?

Suzukake: Exactly, Sakyo-san! Come on, put the sword down!

Sakyo: I politely decline the offer. No matter how many times my hand must grasp this sword, I must tell the princess how I feel!

Tsuzuramaru: I won’t let you! Miss, please hide behind me!

Sakyo: You’re naive, Tsuzuramaru-dono.

Sakyo: Oh? There’s a flying riceball in the sky!

Tsuzuramaru: What? Where?

Sakyo: An opening!

Tsuzuramaru: Dammit! Miss!

Enishi: What the hell are you doing, Tsuzuramaru? How could you fall for that?

Sakyo: Hehe. For Tsuzuramaru-dono to think he would win against me, he is a hundred years early for that!

Sakyo: Princess. I truly want to bring you to a very beautiful place. But please, allow me to use this blade to… to blade to…

Everyone: STOP!!

Sakyo: ...give to you! From now on, my family treasures and myself will belong to you!

Everyone: WHAT???

Sakyo: Even after these five’s persuasion, you haven't changed your mind. Since you still want to be paired with someone, then you will have no reason to be paired with that person! Allow me to take you as my bride! So, Princess, you no longer need to be by another person’s side!

Kei: Can you not make it about that?!

Enishi: Right! Right! If you can propose to her can I propose too?!

Kei: That’s not the point either!!

Suzukake: You can be with the princess when you become the groom, right? Then I want to become the groom!

Tsuzuramaru: W-What?! Then me too!! I want to eat Miss’ delicious food every day!

Saneaki: No, no, a groom is a man who can manage the family. If that’s the case then I am the best choice, when it comes to cooking I have some confidence in myself.

Kei: Did any of you guys even listen to me?!!!!

Sakyo: Princess, you do not have to listen to the others. Throw away the cloth dealer’s young master. All you have to do is choose me. Come, Princess!

---

Tsuzuramaru: M-Miss? Miss? Are you alright?

Enishi: She must be overwhelmed with how she couldn’t even cut in…

Saneaki: You’re asking what this is all about?

Sakyo: What do you mean? We…

Suzukake: We heard you were getting married… so…

Enishi: Right, and it’s the young master from the cloth dealer, right? But I don’t think that guy will make you happy.

Kei: Sorry, but I saw that guy go out with another girl.

Tsuzuramaru: That’s why we’ve been coming to you, so you can think about this marriage more carefully!

Tsuzuramaru: Eh? You haven’t been thinking about getting married?

Sakyo: But your house seems to have a dowry…

Saneaki: The dowry is your neighbour’s?

Suzukake: Eh? You’re just minding it because they’re not home?

Tsuzuramaru: W-Wait, but there’s been rumours that Miss and the young master were getting married?

Kei: O-Oi, Enishi! What’s going on? Didn’t you say the young master’s getting married to her?

Enishi: Yeah, that’s what I heard! And I was listening properly! The young master’s marriage partner is energetic, is good at cooking, her voice is as clear as a bell, and even flowers will bloom on the road where she walks. She’s so slender she looks like she would break at a touch, but her willpower is stronger than most people. And the most important thing: I heard she has a cute smile!

Enishi: It’s definitely the princess! Even now I think I’m right! That’s how it is! What do you think, you lot?

Tsuzuramaru: …I agree.

Suzukake: That’s true…

Saneaki: I see… Well, it’s not like I don’t understand how Enishi-dono feels.

Kei: WHERE?! You got it completely wrong!!

Sakyo: Wait a second… so what you are saying… is that this is all… a misunderstanding?

Enishi: Ah… It… seems… so. Hehe, but knowing the princess isn’t getting married is good news!

Kei: It’s. Not. Good. News. At. ALLLL!!!

---

Track 9 - Ending

Sakyo: Apologies for intruding.

Tsuzuramaru: Oh, if it isn’t Sakyo.

Sakyo: Tsuzuramaru-dono? And everyone else seems to have gathered here...

Enishi: Yep, and with you we’ll all be present. Can you sit with everyone? Sit here.

Sakyo: To visit the princess again… it seems everyone had the same idea.

Suzukake: Mhm, I caused trouble for the princess, so I bought some tea sweets as a gift for her.

Saneaki: Everyone all came here for the same reason.

Enishi: Anyway, it doesn’t need to be said, doesn’t matter which one of us it is, we all want to see the princess, right? Right, Kei?

Kei: D-Don’t touch me! You’re the one who needs to reflect on himself the most!

Tsuzuramaru: But, even though we brought trouble to Miss, to know that this time it was all just a misunderstanding was good. After reflecting my stomach couldn’t help but grumble, what can you do?

Enishi: Well… can’t you see Sakyo’s dripping in cold sweat?

Sakyo: T-That is not because I am here to apologise… please do not talk about it. You are being spiteful.

Suzukake: Let’s calm down, the both of you. Enishi, don’t make Sakyo angry.

Enishi: Alright, alright. Well… why isn’t the princess here yet?

Sakyo: Oh? That is strange… did she leave the restaurant today?

Saneaki: Yes, her father was the one who seated us.

Kei: That’s unusual. Usually she’ll rush back to welcome us. What is she doing…?

Tsuzuramaru: Don’t tell me… she’s been mad at us these past few days, so she doesn’t want to see us anymore?

Suzukake: Eh?! We didn’t make the princess hate us, did we?

Enishi: N-No way… we’re talking about the kind-hearted princess here! There’s no way that’s it…

Saneaki: But if it is… we should prepare ourselves just in case.

Kei: Don’t say something like that so seriously.

Sakyo: It does not look like we need to do that kind of preparation.

Suzukake: Ah! Princess! You came! That’s good!

Suzukake: Eh? The kimono you’re wearing today isn’t the same as the one you normally wear.

Tsuzuramaru: It… it suits you well!

Saneaki: I see… you got your other one wet, so you changed your clothes…

Enishi: Oh, it was just that? Buuuut… hmhm! Not bad! It’s more mature than your usual look, it adds to your womanliness!

Kei: Why’re you saying stuff like that? She hasn’t changed from how she normally is, or whatever.

Sakyo: It is good if that is the case. Kei-dono, why can’t you look at her?

Kei: Shut up!

Sakyo: Heh. Well, I cannot say I do not understand that kind of feeling too. That said, Princess, this is a gift to make up for that day. Please accept it.

Sakyo: No, please do. If you cannot, then my feelings will not be able to recover.

Sakyo: Phew… now I will be able to breathe in relief.

Tsuzuramaru: I’m really sorry, Miss. I got you involved in all that… Haha, seeing you able to laugh like that, it’s already something I can appreciate.

Suzukake: Ah, a customer is calling for you. Sorry for disturbing your work.

Saneaki: Don’t mind us, you should go back to work.

Kei: We’ll call you after we decide what to order.

Tsuzuramaru: Even though we caused nothing but trouble for her… she’s still… such a kind-hearted girl!

Sakyo: Yes, I agree.

Enishi: That’s because she's that kind of princess. That’s why we can’t stop watching her. Ignoring the whole thing with the cloth dealer’s young master, a wonderful woman like her, even if it was someone else we wouldn’t let her go easily.

Saneaki: The so-called fusion of reality and rumors. The customers watch over her too.

Suzukake: You’re right… they’re looking at her and talking about something.

Tsuzuramaru: Shh. Don’t talk…

Suzukake: What’s wrong? All of a sudden...

Tsuzuramaru: Those men over there, just now, they were talking about the rumours about Miss…

Tsuzuramaru: WHAAAAT!!

Tsuzuramaru: This time… he wants to get married to Miss???

Everyone: WHAT?!

Sakyo: I have had enough of this!!

#otome game #rejet #mytranslations #ken ga kimi #tsuzuramaru #kuroba saneaki #sagihara sakyou #suzukake #ken ga kimi kei #enishi #drama cd

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kyouxa · 5 years ago

Text

Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Carla Tsukinami (Story 14+CG)

In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask me before translating this into another language too! I’m an amateur translator, but I hope you do enjoy it anyway!♡

Socrates: This certain place, it is completely deviating from the normal flow of time.

In other words, it is the same as the time has stopped for this world.

Yui: The time, it stopped …?

Socrates: Exactly. For example, even diseases that touched the body are stopping it’s progression.

Yui: …Ngh, that’s…

(That means Endzeit— Carla-san’s disease couldn’t continue getting worse because of this space?)

Socrates: That man, was a survivor of the founder. However, he seems to be affected by a certain sickness.

It will only be temporary that his symptoms have settled down. If you leave, you’ll lead him to death.

Yui: Such… !

(Carla-san is suffering from Endzeit which took away his whole family’s life already)

(But, if the time really stops in this space, does that really mean Carla-san is released from this disease…?)

Socrates: Choose it wise, Eve. Do you want to continue to live in this paradise, or do you want to get expelled from here?

I’ll be here, continuing to watch the experiment—

Place: Violet mansion — Carla's bedroom

Yui: (That day, I was in this strange space... and I met Socrates himself who made this certain garden)

(And that marked the moment when I was told that the time has stopped)

(As long as we would remain here, Carla-san’s illness ... Endzeit would not progress. But—)

(If we get out of this miniature garden, the illness will slowly destroy Carla-san's body ...)

Carla: For a long time, you had something you could not tell me about.

Occasionally I thought I knew the true eyes of yours. I told you not to hide anything behind my back.

Choices

1) — Apologize (white) ♡ ♡ ♡

2) — Excuse (black)

— Apologize ♡

Yui: I-I‘m sorry...

Carla: Do you accept your sins?

Yui: Yes... it‘s true that I knew all the time. But I didn‘t want to tell you because...

I knew I would hurt Carla-san if I‘d tell him about it ...

Carla: But now, I am going to listen to your situation.

— Excuse

Yui: I didn't want to hide it. I wanted to talk about it many times ... but

Carla: You couldn't do it?

Yui: Y-Yes...

That was, something I didn‘t want to hide but I was afraid of your reaction...

Carla: I will receive judgement after listening to your explanation.

end Choices

Carla: ... But, before listening. I would start with my side of the story.

Yui: Nn...

Carla: I want to be completely honest with you. I am not going to keep any secrets from you.

Yui: (Carla-san, his eyes are very clear right now)

(It’s almost like, he decided something ...)

Carla: I have noticed one certain thing since my memories came back.

Right here, my disease... Endzeit seems to have stopped progressing.

Yui: ...Ngh! H-How did you exactly notice that?

Carla: Recently, I continued to consume large amounts of magic. It should have put a load on my body.

When I was living with you in the Banmaden, although the symptoms were mild, the illness did not disappear.

Endzeit is an incurable disease. It is impossible to cure my condition in any way.

Yui: That means ... you did realize it? I haven’t been able to notice it until recently...

Carla: That is not all. A flower that never grows or withers... I was also convinced of that.

Yui: Yes... I thought so.

Carla: It looks like... you already knew that the time had stopped continuing.

Yui: (Carla-san‘s eyes... It’s like, he is looking through all of my thoughts)

(But, I can’t hide anything anymore)

(Yeah, I don't want to hide things from him anymore)

Yes... I knew about it. In this case, I was taught about it already.

This place — it was made by a person called Socrates...

Carla: This miniature garden ...? I see, that means you were in contact with the mastermind.

Yui: I’m sorry, I kept silent about that...

Even now ... you still want to hear me out?

Carla: Do not worry. Keep going.

Yui: (I will talk about everything. All that stuff I heard on that day)

*time passed*

Carla: I understand... he was putting me in some sneaky choices here.

Going to spend a long time in this miniature garden or get out of here and be touched by my dying disease again...

Yui: Socrates told me to choose one of these options. But ... I couldn't choose...

It's not just that your disease had stopped. I couldn't say anything because I was feeling lost...

Carla: I see... you finally decided to talk.

Does that mean, you have kept this secret, because you were worried about me?

You heard this story and you started thinking about me only. I want to truly know your feelings.

Yui: My true feelings...

...If we stay in this miniature garden, Carla-san’s disease will not progress. We could live together forever.

Like this, I could be with you.

Carla: ...Therefore, do you want to remain here then?

Yui: It is different! There is just not really a reason to leave this place.

I know that everyone is distorted, also that everyone’s memories are changed and I know we might have to fight ...

All of this, I know it’s wrong. I know we have to immediately get out of here.

But, I just don’t want to lose you Carla-san... !

Carla: That means, you are putting yourself in trouble for me...

Yui: Yes...

Carla: Do not look down. Raise your face and look at mine as well.

Yui: ...Nn

Carla: ...Look at me, Yui.

Yui: (If he calls me gentle like that, I can't turn him down anymore ...)

... Yes

Carla: Yes, as it should be.

Carla: ...

Yui: ...Nn

(Carla-san, his lips...)

Carla: ... I honestly feel happy about your true feelings.

Yui: (Carla-san, right now he is so calm...)

(Even if I betrayed him, he still kisses me so gentle)

Carla: Listen closely, Yui. You are my life and only wife.

My incurable disease, Endzeit — even if it is calm now, death will come anyways.

Roses

Carla's shoulder: I want you to listen to my feelings, with the special thought, that only you can understand me.

Yui's shoulder : You sometimes act beyond anyone’s expectations, in this moment I know you are doing all of this to protect me. Therefore, I appreciate your hard work.

Carla: But, as long as I can be with you, I can feel your love until my very last moment.

That is why, I want to live with you in the flow, not in this distorted miniature garden.

Even if it is a life that might run out someday, my happiness will not be taken away by anyone.

Yui: Carla-san...

Carla: Your sorrow and sadness, if it is just for me—

Now let's not reiterate things here, this is not necessary. I am fully satisfied with this.

But, if you really feel lonely about my future loss.

I will share all the remaining time with you and fill your heart with the desire you aim for.

I promise you unforgettable happiness, even if you are also going away someday.

Yui: Carla-san... Thank you very much...

(Honestly, I still can't imagine losing Carla-san. But, just for now—)

(I want to wipe out the anxiety about our invisible future. For Carla-san's sake...)

Me too, I want to make more precious moments with you. No matter what happens.

...Carla-san, could you please drink my blood?

Carla: Do you want me to engrave myself in your body?

Yui: Yes. I never want you to disappear...

That’s why, my blood, like this I could always be connected to you...

Carla: All right. Come closer.

*Yui comes closer*

Carla: You must be tired of this place already. I don't want to be too rough on you ...

Yui: It's okay. I asked you myself, that means that I want to feel the full strength of Carla-san’s fangs...

Besides, I kept this secret for a long time. It can’t be helped if I‘m getting any punishment.

Carla: There is no wisdom, but if you are jealous, the story is completely different.

For punishment, pull your hands. It is good to be swayed by severe pain and jealousy.

Ahh... Nn... Nn...

Yui: Agh... ! Nn... Ngh

(Everything seems to be taken away... his fangs are deeper in my skin than usually...)

(But, right now this pain isn’t enough for me...)

Carla... san... please

Carla: You really are greedy today. Can’t you be satisfied with this level?

Those thick blood vessels that run through your neck are pulsating... you can feel them by tracing.

Yui: Ah...

Carla: Did the thought of it shake you off already? It seems that the blood in this body is pleased to be sucked by me.

The tip of this hand, arms — shoulders. Everything I touch is pretty hot.

Yui: Ahh... to trace my body with your fingertips ... Nn

Carla: You look pained. But wasn’t it punishment that you truly desired so badly?

Yui: I'm sorry... Carla-san, I’m sorry.

Carla: Hmph... if it is assembled so far, shouldn’t it be impossible for you to respond... ?

All right. I will give you what you wanted... Nn... Nn...

Yui: Ahh... !

Carla-san... let’s get... out of here...

As long as I can be with you... I-I‘m going to be fine... ngh

Carla: It is enough to just hear those words from you. I will definitely make sure, to escape with you from here.

And I will love you until my life runs out, I swear that I will continue to satisfy you.

Yui: Me too... I promise

Carla: Yes... Nn... Nn...

Yui: (Pain spreads throughout my body. Please, carve your fangs more into my skin)

(I don’t want to imagine the day when you leave me completely alone in this world—)

Place: Violet mansion — dungeon

Shin: Shit, they really are going to keep us in such a place.

Ruki: Shin, calm down. The situation doesn't change whether you scream or not.

Shin: I know that. Violet’s members are everything else than polite.

They don’t respect that we are proud members from Orange.

Ayato: Ugh! Shaddup already! I'm in the same prison, so lower your voice!

Kanato: That's right, we got trapped because of you two people. Are you not reflecting on it?

Shin: Says the traitor with the habit of ignoring his big brothers orders.

Ruki: Stop, you guys. It's unsightly.

Ayato: Tch!

Shin: ... Shit...

Monologue

Once my feelings calmed down, Carla-san called Subaru-kun again.

Of course, the story I just told... I needed to tell Subaru-kun about the miniature garden and Socrates as well.

As expected, Subaru-kun had a surprised face, but he believed in everything I said.

And, like Carla-san, he accepted the story without blaming me.

Place: Violet mansion — Carla's bedroom

Subaru: ...Jeez, this entire situation is really messed up.

Yui: Yes... I know

Subaru: I won’t be mad at you, it isn‘t necessary. The important thing is the future now.

Yui: ... Yes

Carla: The thoughts that float in this space has not changed, it must be spread around the church then.

Now that we have determined that this is a space made of magic, we will head to the church... there is no doubt that this is the key of this garden.

Yui: Yes, I think I‘m sure we will find something inside there if we go and check it.

Subaru: What should we find exactly? Something like an exit or escape route?

Yui: We can't say what we could find unless we go and check it out by ourselves...

Besides, it might be that if Socrates is watching us, he might interferes in our plan again ...

Subaru: If he comes out, you shouldn't be too concerned about it.

Yui: I-I wonder if that will dissipate?

Carla: ....

Yui: Carla-san? What‘s wrong?

Carla: — No, I might came up with one way.

Yui: A way ... You mean to get out of here!?

Carla: That's right. I just reflected what you told me.

Socrates: This is a space made of magic. Provided with magic powers through the church.

As long as there is a church, the miniature garden will exist forever.

Carla: There is no doubt that Socrates said that, isn’t that right Yui?

Yui: Y-Yes. There is no doubt.

Carla: Then there is only one thing we can do.

Destroy the entire church.

Yui: Huh!?

Subaru: Huh? Are you being serious?

Carla: Of course, there is no time to fool around. This miniature garden is made up because of enormous magic powers.

If the supply of magical power stops even a little, it will collapse.

This miniature garden can only exist with it‘s church. We can only turn on other side, if the church which is the source of magic power disappears—

Yui: That means this space will collapse and disappear?

Carla: That's how it should be.

Subaru: Hah, I see. We can escape once we destroyed that thing, it’s pretty easy to understand.

Carla: This is our priority. We need to make sure to break the source of magic in it — The church where the traditional Eve was sleeping.

This will be the beginning of everything.

Yui: ... Yes!

(Looks like, we finally decided what to do)

(Whatever happens, we need to know if anything is awaiting us in the church ...!)

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razorblade180 · 5 years ago

Text

Twin Snowflakes pt5: Support

Nicholas:*writing* What did you get for the thermal and physics question on the back?

Valerie:...... There’s a back?

Nick:I’m starting to think this studying isn’t mutually beneficial.....

*door opens*

Summer:Hey Nick, I’m back from- oh..... what’s up Val.

Valerie:Hey Snow Angel, you look wonderful as usual.

Summer:Really? I feel like a mess and a little hun- ahhhh!

Her sentence was cut off by Nicholas grabbing each side of her face and pulling it enough to hurt.

Summer:Agh!!! Let go let go let go let go let go!

Nick:This is what you get for not remembering to text me that you went for a check up! Getting intense sudden chills through my body is scary. What do you have to say for yourself?

Summer:I’m sorry!!!!!! I’m sorry!!!!!! Please stop!

Nick:*lets go* That’s all I wanted.

Summer:*rubbing her face* I’m not five, you gotta stop pinching me like that. I can feel my face getting red. Well, redder I suppose.

Valerie: I say it’s an improvement. Care to join us for a quick study session? I bet you know this stuff like the back of your hand by now.

Summer:What subject?

Valerie:Science.....mostly physics now; even though we’ll probably never use it. *twirling pencil*

Summer*cringes* Yeah I can’t help with that. Not on the physics portion yet.

Nick:You’d be if you showed up to school more often. Probably be top student in all your classes actually.

Summer:Good point. Counterpoint, no.... that’s a title I’m fine seeing you have. School is a war zone. I avoid the crossfire as much as possible. Having a solid B in everything is more than enough.

Valerie:Which reminds me, you have two more times to miss P.E. before you automatically fail.

What little happiness she had was washed away with annoyance as the two of them hears her groan like restless toddler. Nick couldn’t help but enjoy seeing his sister flip her attitude so easily. It does comes with plenty of practice he supposes. For better or for.....no, it’s usually just for worse.

Summer:I guess it’s a good thing I have a doctors note.

Nick:I thought mom got Penny to stop signing those.

Summer:The thing about Penny’s hand writing is literally so perfect that only a machine could do it. So I got one of those metal arm machines in the lab to do it.

Nick:That sounds like more work than showing up.

Summer:That’s because it is. How much longer are you two studying?

Valerie:Actually I think I’m calling it a day. If I cram anymore than I have then I might actually explode. I’m sure I can handle whatever the test throws at me. After all, I’m awesome.... *starts glowing*

Nick:Pfft all that tough talk as usual.

Valerie:You more than anyone knows there’s plenty of muscle behind and skill behind them. That’s why the from the recent tournament medal in my room is gold while yours matches the forks and spoon you eat with. *pokes his nose*

Nick:Oh I do hope you make it all the way to finals in the single matches of Ruler of the Castle, because I’m totally making it to the end.

Valerie:*leaning in* I’m sorry, that sounds like you’re looking for a rematch. A world televised rematch at that. You sure you wanna live a world with two silver medals? At least they’ll match your outfit good enough. *smirking*

Nick:Just like your silver tongue. *smirking*

Valerie:Oooo that’s the only silver you won’t be getting.

The two of them enter another state off a tension and heated excitement. Summer watches the two peas in a pod act like their usual, over the top selves. If she had had a nickel for every time the top of them but heads like this then she would rich regardless of her family name.

Summer:Are you two done having a moment or should I leave the room again?

Valerie:*stands up* Nah, I should head home soon anyways. I got an early day of training tomorrow; you never know when someone might try and catch you off gaurd. *walking out*

Nick:That fact you gotta train for me is compliments enough.

Valerie:Whatever dork, I’ll see you in school. Now Summer, if you’re not going to school then maybe afterwards we could go see a movie or...

Summer:*slowly closing door* See you around Val. *smiles*

Valerie:Y...yeah! Bye.....*red*

*door closes*

Nick:*whistles* not even gonna walk her to the front door; truly you are a cold mistress my dear sister. *snickering*

Summer:Oh shut up, you just let all that trash talk happen because any conversation with her is heaven in your eyes. You’re so hopeless hehe.

Nick:It’s all in good fun like it’s always been. Same old same old.

Summer:For your sake it better be. Like she said, that rematch is gonna be televised if it happens.

Nick:Aww you worried about your big bro?

Summer:I’m worried that your antics will rope me into them as usual. Last thing I need to be is known has “Summer, sister of two hit chump.”

Nick:Ah! So little faith. If anything we should be more concerned about duo’s since that requires both of us firing on all cylinders.

Summer:Speaking of that.......a fancy signature isn’t all I ended up taking.

Nervously she chuckled as she shook out her sleeves to reveal two tiny vials of Diamond Dust. The sight of the substance caused Nicholas’s jaw to drop. He wanted to grab it out her hand immediately but he could tell how tight her grip was on them. Last thing anyone wants is for those break on accident. Wariness comes across both of their faces as they stare at the vials.

Nick:Why do you have those?

Summer:I was hoping you and I could do our own testing. Penny is a huge help but there’s only so much you can learn in a lab. Maybe what needs to happen is more.... practical test.

Nick:That’s why we go to the woods outside of Argus and put you in the cold!

Summer:Yeah but the cold and dust are kinda on two different levels.

Nick:Oh I know! Do you not remember when you got covered in this stuff.

Summer:........

Summer:You know I haven’t.

Nick:Sigh Summer, I didn’t mean to-

Summer:I’m aware of the risks. I understand this idea is a stupid idea. Even so, I’m tired of feeling like my wheels are spinning. *gives him vials* Just study them and figure out how we could possibly make me better.

Nick:Better, or stronger?

Summer:.....If we do this right then there won’t be a difference. We’ll take first place for sure and I’ll be one step closer to just being me. Being, normal and approachable. Maybe finally eat a bowl of ice cream without some voice nagging me or go outside and not stress out if I’m a little underdressed. I could finally feel like it is my life, that I’m living..... *looks down* last time I felt like that was when I was four.

Nick:*frowning*.......I can’t promise we’ll achieve anything huge but obviously I’ll try something. I just don’t want us doing something that’ll take you away from me; I promised to always lend you hand in need. Messing with this stuff feels like breaking that promise. Like I’ll end up hurting you again.

Again, it wasn’t the first time Summer has heard them. No matter what people assured him, Nicholas always blamed himself for the incident. Kids have tantrums and get a little rambunctious. Who could’ve predicted his would’ve ended with an accidental stunt so disastrous. It was a miracle that he could even look at the scars on her body as far as Summer is concerned. A thousand times she’s waited for the fearful day when even her own brother couldn’t stand them, yet he sees pass them like all who truly know her do. Unfortunately, there’s always a bit of glimmer of guilt in his eyes she wishes she could snuff out. Not just for him, but for her as well. That’s why Shiva has to go. Maybe, just maybe if she can finally get rid of the true thing that constantly reminds them of the past then everything else can finally start healing right; she could start healing right. Her arms reached out grab him on each side.

Summer:🎶Don’t worry, I got you. Nothing will ever harm you. I’m close by. I’ll stay here. Through alll things......🎶

Nicholas: “I will be near.” I can’t believe you still know that song.

Summer:You sung it to me everyday you visited me in the hospital. It didn’t matter if I was awake or unconscious; I could hear my amazing older brother sing and play a guitar for the first time just so he can comfort me. *tearing up* You’re the reason sing now, not mom. I want you to shine like gold the way you want me to. Not once have you ever hurt me. Everything you do for me makes me feel better. Let me try to return the favor.

Nick:.......*rubbing his eyes* We are going to get into serious trouble if someone finds out or something goes wrong.

Summer:Sounds par for the course. At least we’ll be yelled at together. *smiles*

Nick:Stronget together right?

Summer:Stronger together. *hugs him tightly*

xxx

“You wavered back then. What I didn’t let you see was I was just as nervous as you, but for once it really nice to have the roles reversed. To be the person that other’s needed to lean on. Maybe that’s why I pushed the idea so hard. Maybe that’s why I came up with it in the first place. Why did I come up with that idea? Why.... why couldn’t I just listen to you? Am I.... am I really that selfish? I guess that makes sense. After all, the only thing I’m good at is being a problem. I’m sorry..... I’m so, so sorry.

xxx

The final days of winter break soon disappeared like a fleeting dream. Nicholas found himself pretty eager to get back to school as he put on his shoes and made sure his school uniform was perfectly clean. Most people whined about being groomed in the hopes that the rigid rules would make them more at ease to one day go to Atlas to continue their studies. He honestly didn’t care since he had no real attention of going anywhere else. Other places interested him but Atlas has a charm about it and one day it’ll be his job to keep it charming. That fact however, did make him a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Just another thing on his plate to ponder about whenever he has time to do so.

Nicholas made his way down the hallway to Summer’s room. It was still pretty early but that’s because he likes the walk to school or stop by a coffee shop before he goes. The young man finally made it to the warm, wooden door and knocked. The heat from inside could be felt the hinges and made its way to him. Being rich is wonderful thing; power bills would be this families worse nightmare otherwise.

Nick:Summer, I’m gonna walk to school. Wanna join me?

Summer:*groaning* I’m good, be safe out there. Plenty of people on the streets on visitors from the break and-

Nick:Horrible at driving in the snow; I know I know. Are you going to school today at all or should I save my wallet from buying an unnecessary hot chocolate?

Summer:......I’ll think about it.

Nick:*shakes his head*

Summer:I can feel you judging me. Goodbye Nick!

Nick:Yeah yeah, have a good day sis. *walking away*

Summer:*laying in bed and staring at a calendar that says “Today💀” on it.”

Summer:.......I guess I’m using that doctors note sooner than I hoped. *yawns* just...my.....Zzzzz

Quickly she drifts off to sleep peacefully until a knock on the door wakes her up again. The little bit of light through her window tells her that it’s still far too early to be up. The knocking continues to happen in a familiar rhythm but she can’t exactly place it.

Summer:I’m coming. *gets up*

*knock knock knock*

Summer:Ugh, dad I love you but what could you possibly- *opens door* w....want........

Shiva:Well I’m not your father but there’s plenty of things I want. Care to discuss them?

Part 4

#rwby twin snowflakes #rwby #summer schnee #nicholas schnee #val valkyrie #rwby whiteknight

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melodiouswhite · 5 years ago

Text

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde rewritten - Ch. 21

21. On rivalry and the art of courting

Jekyll hated this.

Hyde was clearly planning to seduce the man he loved and the blond did not like that at all.

He hated himself for being so possessive of the black-haired lawyer, when the latter wasn't even willing to take the step from friend to lover just yet.

“Oh come on, Jekyll”, Hyde taunted him, “In a way, he would still be doing it with you, even if he chose me! And vice versa!”

Jekyll gritted his teeth.

“Maybe. But you can't tell me that you wouldn't be jealous, if he would choose me instead of you to be his first.”

Hyde cackled: “Oh, Jekyll! Even if I had grown possessive of him at that point, I wouldn't be jealous. That would require that he was mine at some point! What I would feel in that case is envy. But look at you! If anyone is jealous, it's you! You see him as yours, but he doesn't even return your proclamations of love! The closest thing he comes to doing so, is saying 'I know'!”

The doctor's face darkened further. “Don't speak about love, as if you know what it is.”

His alter ego appeared on the next reflective surface.

“You're wrong, my dear soulmate. Just because I never loved, doesn't mean I don't know what it is. I'm a part of you, of course I'm familiar with the emotions that you feel.”

The blond whirled around to glare at him. “Prove it!”, he barked.

The brunette raised an eyebrow. “You sure you want me to give you a disgustingly sentimental explanation on that ridiculous sentiment?”, he scoffed.

“Yes, actually. Show me that you know what that words means!”, Jekyll challenged.

Hyde rolled his eyes and began. “It's when you put another person's needs and wishes above your own, think about them all the time and feel, as if they were the only thing that mattered in the world. You happy?”

Jekyll glowered at him. “That was just the general definition of love as everyone sees it. You obviously have no idea what you just said! It's plain by the derogative manner you said it in.”

Hyde raised his hands in defeat. “Well, maybe you're right. For once. But that doesn't matter, because I have no intention of ever finding out, what that revolting sentiment feels like.”

Now it was Jekyll's turn to be smug.

“Oh, but you are on the best way to find out!”, he taunted back.

Hyde's smirk vanished. “What do you mean?”

“You're already growing attached to him. His kind gestures towards you make you flustered. You're determined to make him yours. There is only one reason anyone would act like that.”

Hyde's face twisted into a ghastly grimace. “You're a fool, Jekyll. He is nothing but a toy to me. A toy I can play with, break it and throw it away, when I grow tired of it. He means nothing more to me than all the prostitutes I dab it up with.”

Jekyll's eyes grew equally hard. “Sure, Mr. Hyde. What ever helps you sleep at night. But soon enough you will find that I'm right.”

Hyde said nothing. He just stepped out of the mirror and took on a corporeal form.

Before Jekyll could ask what it was about, the smaller man grabbed him by the shoulder, slammed him against the nearest wall and kissed him savagely. The doctor growled and kissed back.

What followed was … a fierce battle for dominance, rather than a make-out session. There was biting, clawing, groping and yanking each other's hair.

“I hate you, Edward Hyde!”, Jekyll snarled, as soon as they had regained their breath.

Hyde laughed savagely: “I hate you too, Henry Jekyll.”

Then he stretched his arms.

“I hate you thiiis much!”

The next time Lady Summers was consulted by Dr. Jekyll, she saw at first sight, what the matter was.

Ich wusste es!, she thought angrily, Ich wusste, sie würden einen Wettstreit daraus machen!*

Even though she had learned to think in English, sometimes she slipped back into German, if she was angry enough.

He grew pale and gulped, when he saw her face. Good. So he knew that she knew.

“I thought I said something about turning this into a competition”, she hissed.

“It wasn't my intention!”, he immediately tried to defend himself.

“Excuses, excuses!”, she cried in outrage, “You made up your mind as soon as Hyde suggested it! It's always like this. You men are all the same! Once you set your eyes on someone, that person must be yours at all costs! Why is it so hard to find a man, who isn't greedy and possessive?!”

She pinched her nose in frustration and leaned back in her rocking chair.

“Agh! Well, I can't say that I'm surprised. Mr. Hyde is a vicious person and both of you have a … gay disposition. Sit down, Doctor. And then tell me, why you are here. If I read your mind, I fear that I'll get angrier than I already am.”

Dr. Jekyll looked genuinely ashamed.

Good.

That put her short Prussian temper a little at ease.

“Milady”, he said quietly, “I really don't see him as a trophy, you have to believe me-”

“I do”, she interrupted him calmly, “I know that you don't. And that is your saving grace, because I hate nothing more than people who regard others as objects to be owned. Mr. Utterson is not a thing, he's a living, breathing person.”

Of course she was aware, that he knew it, but she still felt the need to point it out.

She pointed a gloved finger at him. “That's directed towards both of you.”

“I don't think Hyde has been listening��, Jekyll said awkwardly.

“Well, then I'll just say it to his face next time I see him”, she retorted.

And if he talks any rubbish about Utterson just being a toy to him, I'll punch him, she added in her mind.

Dr. Jekyll spoke up: “I'm here, because I'm concerned. Hyde has been … more aggressive than usual. More forward too.”

“Towards you, I presume?”

“Yes.”

Now she was calm enough to read his mind. Oh dear … that is pretty pushy, she thought at the pictures.

“You seem to be handling it comparatively well, though”, she stated.

He sighed. “Yes and I owe that to you. Before you became my therapist, I was so weak. He overpowered me so easily, I feared that one day Henry Jekyll would disappear completely. I was depressed and had no strength of will. You gave it back to me and I will forever thank you for that.”

She frowned. “That sounds like you want to break off the therapy.”

“No, no!”, he cried, “I just wanted to thank you for saving my life in more ways than one. I guess I could say that you're my guardian angel, because you stepped into my life right when I needed you.”

She stared at him incredulously. Then she blushed lightly and broke into giggles.

Guardian angel? More like a fallen angel, but who cares!

“Oh, you cheeky devil!”, she giggled, “For someone who prefers men, you certainly know how to flatter a lady!”

He laughed awkwardly, then he sighed and continued: “Anyway, as I was saying earlier, Hyde is more aggressive and forward than usual. Now that I have my strength of will back, I can meet him on an equal level, but it still worries me.

He always loved to taunt me and make me angry, but lately he's been more infuriating that usual. He enrages me to the point, where I just want to strangle him. But there is something wrong about the way he taunts me. There is something wrong with him. I need to know what his problem is. Is it my fault? Because I don't stop confronting him about his own emotions and behaviour?”

That was a good question.

She read his mind and thought for a moment.

“Hmm … I would say yes and no. It is only partly, because you keep confronting him about his emotions. The main problem is that he has these emotions. He knows that you're right and that scares him. Mr. Hyde is used to being indifferent to everyone and everything but his own self and desires. But now that there is someone who treats him differently from everyone else, he feels things that are completely foreign to him.

Of course it's too early to say that he's falling in love. But he is feeling something new, something very profound. He's experiencing emotional attachment. And he's frightened of how intense and overwhelming it is.

Perhaps it has crossed your mind at some point. But deep down, everyone's scared of letting someone close and give them the power to hurt them. I'm no exception. But most people have the courage to risk it, in the hope of finding love and happiness. Mr. Hyde is not one of those people, at least not yet. Just like you said to him, he doesn't truly know what love is. All he knows is the heartache that you feel, when you love someone, the hopeless pining, yearning and daydreaming. He's scared of going through that.

Love requires a special kind of courage. A kind of courage that Mr. Hyde neither has nor knows.

His relationship to Mr. Utterson is already more emotionally intimate than everything he has ever known. Of course he is closer to you than to anyone else, but you're his creator and his other half.”

“And for him that doesn't count”, the Doctor guessed.

“Exactly”, the Countess confirmed. “He just thinks that it's supposed to be this way. That he can't help but be attracted to you, because you are two parts of one soul.”

That makes sense, she could hear him think.

“But with Mr. Utterson it's different. Mr. Hyde doesn't realise that your friend is trying to love him for his own sake as well as yours. And even if he did, he wouldn't understand it. To him, your lawyer is the man you're pining after. He sees love as nothing but a weakness, a disgusting sentiment. The fact that he refuses to change his opinion, is a defensive mechanism. He doesn't want to become what you used to be, when it came to Mr. Utterson or Dr. Lanyon.”

“A pining, perpetually depressed and emotional mess”, Dr. Jekyll noted drily.

She chuckled. “Yes. You must know that, despite his self-mockery, Mr. Hyde does have a modicum of pride. He fears that love will not only make him weak, but confine him as well. Committing to a single person other than himself? Pining, sighing and daydreaming like a lovesick schoolboy? No way!”

Dr. Jekyll grimaced. “You just summed up his entire nature.”

“I know. But I had to explain his attitude to you somehow, because he's not going to do it.”

“Fair point. So he's acting the way he does, because he suddenly has … profound emotions. And because I remind him of it, he feels cornered and is scared.”

“Pretty much, yes.”

“Do you think I should stop doing it?”

That too was a good question. Continuing would keep the young man on edge. But from the way Hyde was acting, she found that Jekyll's call-outs were needed to keep him in check. Hyde's mind games were getting out of hand. His other half's retorts might agitate him, but they also showed that the young man couldn't taunt Jekyll without the older man returning the favour. The doctor had grown a spine and was now more than ready to stilt his alter ego when necessary.

“Quite the contrary, Dr. Jekyll. Continue. He needs someone to counter his mind games. Be careful, though. After all, you're playing with fire.”

The next time Jekyll came to the Lady, he felt a little lighter than last time.

Hyde was still being a pest, but now that he knew what the problem was, Jekyll had more patience with his alter ego.

That seemed to have an effect on the brunette as well. To the blond's surprise, he had agreed to a few terms, concerning Utterson.

Neither would pressure him into doing something he didn't fully want.

The lawyer's personal space was not to be invaded.

Flirting would be done in moderation and with subtlety.

Of course for Hyde, 'subtle' meant that he would keep it at the level of making suggestive remarks. Obviously suggestive remarks.

But it was a start.

“I see, you have set up some rules”, she noted, when he entered her greenhouse. “Well, I'm still not happy about the whole ordeal. But that puts me a little at ease.”

“Yes”, he mumbled awkwardly. Her anger from the last meeting had been terrifying and she hadn't even raised her voice to the level of shouting.

“I just wanted to make sure that neither of us pushes something on Gabriel. But …”

“But what, Doctor? Choose your next words wisely.”

“I do wish to court him. And I was hoping, that you could give me some advice.”

He had needed days of consideration to bring up the courage to ask that question. After all, he did have a sense of pride. But she knew the human mind so well. And she was a Lady of the highest class. Surely she would know a thing or two about the art of discreet courting.

But to his surprise, her expression turned awkward.

“Doctor, I'm a conversational therapist and consultant. Not a dating advisor. And to be honest, I'm no authority when it comes to that. It's been half a lifetime, since I last romanced someone. And no, I'm not actively courting Dr. Lanyon”, she added, when he opened his mouth to ask.

For a second he wanted to ask her, if she was really sure about that. But she gave him that look and so he kept his mouth shut.

“However, I understand where this is coming from. So I will try my best. Well, you know what he likes, so one important criteria is off the list. The most important part of courting these days is discretion. Sadly, because of our society with its ridiculous morals and expectations, you can't tell the world how much you love him. I wrote several letters to the parliament, telling them how much of a mistake they made by criminalising same sex love. Of course I didn't receive an answer. Not that I expected one, but hope dies hard.”

Jekyll's heart warmed. He certainly loved how open-minded, understanding and unbiased the Lady was. Of course it could be attributed to the fact, that she was a telepath, who had seen the world. But even so, it was so rare that someone didn't judge you, just because you had other preferences than the masses.

She giggled: “Oh, you would be surprised at how many people are unconsciously homosexual or know, but suppress it. To be honest, I never understood what the big deal is. Love is love, that's how it works. It never even occurred to be, that there should be something unnatural about people not preferring the opposite sex.”

“Never?”, he echoed in surprise.

She smiled and shook her head. “Never. My parents were non-judgemental people themselves and they never told me that other people would think this way or why. I was quite shocked, when I found out. When I asked my father, he shrugged and said that most people are hypocritical philistines.”

She smiled fondly. “That's how he was. He drilled me to be perfect in everything I do, but he also kept reminding me that everyone has their flaws and that I should never think of them inferior.”

Jekyll almost laughed. Then something came to his mind.

“Did your father … uhm, have unusual abilities too?”, he asked hesitantly.

For a second, she seemed to consider if she should answer that question or not. But then she seemed to decide she should and nodded. “Yes. He could tell, when someone lied or told the truth. I inherited my affinity for the supernatural from him.”

“And your mother?”

“She had no supernatural abilities. But she did have endless tolerance, patience and empathy. She was one of the few angels among humankind.”

Jekyll tried and failed to suppress his envy. His parents had never cared about anyone or anything but their name and reputation. If he didn't live up to their expectations (which had been almost always the case) he could be sure to regret it.

“That's terrible”, Lady Summers answered his thoughts sadly. “It's so depressing, that most people don't know how much children need their love and appreciation. Of course my father was strict and had high expectations of me too, but he valued me and my mother above anything in the world. Screw his good name, what mattered to him is that we were fine.”

“I wish my parents had been half that caring”, the Doctor said bitterly.

She took his hand and said gently: “Now, now, Doctor. We can't change the past. All we can do is fix the damage that has been done. That's what my father always said. In fact, he was the one who inspired me to become a therapist.”

“Really?”, he asked curiously.

“Yes. When my husband died, father said: 'Don't waste time on tears, Luise. Instead work on making his dream of a better world come true. Maybe you won't succeed in making the world a better place, but that shouldn't stop you from trying. You have such a wonderful understanding of people. Use it to help them.' And that's what I did.”

Jekyll smiled. What a man her father must have been …

Suddenly the Lady clapped her hands in a businesslike manner. “But enough of these reflections! You wanted advice on discreet courting. Don't ever forget to remind him that you love him. Never ever forget a meeting. Take him out to places he likes from time to time. And give him subtle messages. Are you by any chance familiar with floriography?”

The doctor shook his head hesitantly. “I know that it's the language of flowers, but I have no idea what it entails. I'm too much a man of science.”

“It's actually simple. Every flower has a meaning or several. You use that to convey messages. It's a tradition from the Middle East and has been a popular trend ever since it was introduced to Europe. Most ladies carry bouquets around and the gentlemen who are interested in them, mostly carry pocket books on them that contain the meanings of each flower.”

“So, if I gave flowers to Gabriel, everyone would know what the flowers mean?”

“Most people would. Therefore I wouldn't recommend handing bouquets of flowers to him, where everyone can see it. Give him secretly one flower each day. He knows the meanings. But be careful. Some flowers and plants carry negative messages. But you know what, Doctor? I have a book on flower language in my office. Do you want to borrow it?”

Jekyll nodded. “That would be wonderful”, he said gratefully.

“Good. I think we can end this session. I will just get the book, before you go. Oh, and Dr. Jekyll? Please, do something about all the sexual tension between you and Mr. Hyde. Your relationship is so bipolar and dysfunctional, that it's getting painful to deal with.”

Jekyll blushed and sputtered, while Lady Summers grinned smugly.

He returned home still flustered from her remark, but with a dictionary about flowers in his bag. Good thing he had brought a bag to begin with.

“What are you reading?”, Hyde asked curiously, when he appeared to find Jekyll reading the book he had borrowed earlier.

The blond didn't answer, but allowed the brunette to look over his shoulder.

Hyde's bilious green eyes skimmed over the page and he giggled.

“What is this? A book about the meaning of flowers?”

The corner of Jekyll's mouth turned upward. “Yes, actually. Her Ladyship lent it to me.”

With that, he continued reading and said no more.

Hyde remained in his spot, leaning over and obviously reading along.

From time to time the comfortable silence was broken, when one of them pointed out a flower whose meaning they particularly liked.

“Oh my god, the yellow carnations!”

“Hah! Look at that part about the narcissus! That flower is just perfect for you!”

“Look who's talking! And the orange lilies! I'm so going to leave those out for you!”

“And I'm so going to shower you in geraniums, because you're a fool!”

But apart from those little banters, they read together in silence.

At some point Hyde leaned his chin onto Jekyll's shoulder. His long, café brown hair tickled the blond's neck.

“I really don't understand how you can wear that stupid stiff collar”, the smaller man muttered.

The taller one shrugged. “It's just a part of a gentleman's attire.”

“Well, I hate it. Also, you're at home. Take it off.”

Jekyll could see, where Hyde was coming from. The collar was quite uncomfortable and rubbed against his skin. If he moved his head the wrong way, it could even hinder the blood circulation in his neck.

“Fine”, he chuckled and took it off.

Ahhh, much better, he thought, as he rubbed the irritated skin on his neck.

Then he tensed up in surprise and shuddered, as he felt the other's lips and tongue glide across his sensitive skin.

Whoa there, Edward!

“Are you planning to seduce me, or do you just want to leave a mark?”, he grumbled.

Hyde snickered. “Don't worry, just the latter.”

Jekyll cried out in shock, when Hyde nibbled at his neck with his sharp canines.

“Just a friendly reminder, Henry dearest: you're mine and even your lawyer agrees to go out with either of us, it will remain this way”, he purred.

The blond growled lowly.

Oh, two can play that game!

With a swift movement, he grabbed the smaller man by the small of his waist and pulled him into his lap. Hyde gasped in surprise and had to cling to the taller man to not fall off.

“Well, I can only return that statement, my dear creation”, he snarled. “I made you. That makes you just as much mine as it makes me yours.”

The brunette blinked. Then he caught on and smirked salaciously.

Jekyll requited the smirk. “Could it be that you lied earlier, when you said you didn't want to seduce me? Because I find it hard to believe you right now.”

“Ohhh, maybe?”, Hyde breathed lowly into his ear. “Alright, I lied. I absolutely planned to have my way with you.”

“You wicked tempter.”

Hyde chuckled gutturally. “You're easy to tempt. Look at you, Doctor. Where is the gentleman everybody knows? You're just a sexually frustrated old man in his midlife crisis.”

“And you're a short-tempered little goblin, who doesn't leave me alone”, Jekyll retorted.

Hyde mock-gasped and clutched his chest. “A goblin?! That's just rude, I must say, Doctor! Besides …”

Jekyll shuddered, when the smaller man caressed the sensitive skin on his neck with his sharp fingernails.

“… You're just too willing to indulge me. And do you know what? It has become so much more fun lately!”

“Has it?”

“Ohhh yes! There is fire in your eyes … resolve in your voice. I love it, when you get feisty and finally give into your dark desires, you dirty old man! You have no idea just how much it turns me on!”

Jekyll snorted. “Actually, I think I do.”

The bulge in Hyde's pants said it all.

“You know, perhaps I should deny us both, just to spite you.”

Hyde smirked smugly. “You won't.”

“You're right. I won't”, the blond admitted.

Feeling bold, he let his hands wonder down the smaller man's legs. They were comparatively long, sinewy, swift and strong. Enviable.

“Do you know what turns me on about you?”, he purred.

To his satisfaction, Hyde shuddered at the touch.

Oh, sweet, sweet revenge!

The brunette smiled, obviously flattered. “No, but do enlighten me.”

“Your guttural voice, especially, when you purr …”

Hyde chuckled throatily.

“Your strong limbs …”

“Why, thank you!”

Jekyll clasped Hyde's middle and pressed their bodies together. “How perfectly you fit against me …”

“Oh good grief, stop!”, the other laughed.

The doctor smirked. “That roguish glow in your devilish green eyes …”

“Alright, alright, enough!”, Hyde cried and held a finger to his mouth. “What the hell was that, Henry! Warn me next time you're going to be so grotesquely saccharine!”

Even as a spectre, he couldn't hide (pun intended) the intense blush on his face.

For some reason that made the blond feel incredibly empowered.

“It's a shame you can't keep that corporeal form for long. There are so many things I want to do to you right now!”

The brunette grinned lopsidedly. “What, strangle me or snap my neck?”

Jekyll laughed. “Sometimes you make me wish that, yes. But no. I wouldn't do that, no matter how angry you make me. After all, I couldn't live without you.”

Hyde blushed even harder and lowered his head, mumbling something unintelligible under his breath.

But it didn't need to be coherent. Jekyll knew what he had said.

“But most of the time, I'm grateful, that we're not completely separated.”

“How come?”, the younger wanted to know and looked up.

The Doctor smiled. “I will never be alone. There is something comforting about that. You will always be with me …”

… Right?

Hyde's eyes softened and he touched the older man's cheek. “Of course I will, Dr. Jekyll. Even in death.”

Suddenly he grinned. “Now shut up and satisfy me, you dirty old man! If we keep being this corny, I will throw up!”

Jekyll chuckled. “Of course, you horny brat. But it's late and I'm tired.”

“See you in your dreams, then”, Hyde purred.

Then he gasped: “Oh! I almost forgot!”

Jekyll yelped in surprise, when the smaller man sank his teeth deep into his neck.

“I did promise to leave a mark!”, he cackled and vanished back into their head.

“Sweet dreams, Doctor!”

“You'll certainly take care of that!”, the older man muttered and went to disinfect the hickey.

There was no doubt that he would have passionate dreams tonight.

God, what a brat! So many mood swings this evening! Maybe the Lady is right … I really need to do something about the sexual and emotional tension between me and Hyde.

---

*German for: I knew it! I knew they would turn this into a competition!

(A/N: Btw, it was totally custom to communicate via flowers in the Victorian Era. It’s called floriography or semlalik and it’s really awesome)

#The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #Dr. Jekyll #henry jekyll #Mr. Hyde #edward hyde #oc #jekyllxutterson #jekyllxhyde #jekyde #hyde being hyde #so much UST!

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eapers-eaters · 6 years ago

Text

Tarse x Reader: Alpine Wood-Work

In which a skier gets lost in the woods and needs rescue after a grisly injury, when originally mistaking Tarse as something dangerous.

The shouts and excitement from the trailhead had all but been silenced by the trees and heavy snow. While many skiers and snowboarders liked to show their stuff on the rails and ramps, you preferred the quiet and long scenic route—a gentle slope punctuated by occasional sharp turns and slightly steeper angles. You’d come out by yourself this time, confident in your knowledge of the mountain, and happy your skis alone left tracks in the soft powder.

About a third down the trail, you began to notice the trees becoming unfamiliar. You had been here just last season, but the trees seemed to be older, taller, and closer together. You pulled off to the side and dug into your pack for the map you habitually picked up from the lodge. You stared confused, only now noticing the once well-marked trail had seemingly vanished, replaced with minimalist outlines of danger. Bears, rockfall…avalanche. But that didn’t explain why the trees were different. You knew this trail, you knew you didn’t take a wrong turn—there was no other turn to take once you started. You decided you were too far down the mountain to trek back up, so continued down the slope, knowing you would still reach the bottom all the same. Or maybe not.

The trees continued to grow stranger—needles were the wrong shapes, branches looked more like twisted arms than the rigid, rough boughs normally seen at these elevations. Too, you began to notice brambles and herbs lively and green, as if for them alone summer never surrendered to the bite of winter snow. The forest continued to encroach upon the trail, until you were finally faced with a wooden wall broken by deep, obscured shadows. You began to pant as you searched for any sign of a break in the forest, but eventually accepted the trail had completely vanished.

You decided you had to continue on foot, so unstrapped the skis from your boots and wrapped them tight to your pack. With the poles gripped tightly in your hands, you entered the dark, cold forest and followed that invisible line you once knew so well. No snow made it to the ground, but is was still unnerving how lush and pristine the undergrowth was. Had you not been so concerned, you would’ve loved to sit and stare, but you were on a mission. You didn’t want to be out here when night inevitably fell.

A breeze blew through the branches, a wave that shook the trees which creaked and moaned in protest. But the forest was healthy—no weak roots threatening to drop a massive trunk on your head, no dead trees losing limbs as they rotted away. You had heard of eternal forests, ancient and still, but they were all far off, not to mention on the opposite side of the mountains. There were rumors, of guardians who used unknown magics to will the plants to grow, and to rid any intruders. But those were tales. They had to be…right?

A different noise made you freeze in place. It was the snap of a hefty branch, and it was close. You slowly turned your head, but saw nothing to make such a sound. Then you heard a log being split open and loud crunching. You snuck silently to the closest tree, and just barely peeked around the rough bark. All you saw was a furry shape, absolutely massive and foreboding, before you quickly turned and attempted to sneak away.

Oh god, it’s a bear, you thought, I just need to stay calm, it’ll leave me alone. It’s too busy with…whatever it’s doing.

You swore you had been deathly quiet when the crunching stopped. There was a swishing sound, different from the needles in the wind, and you looked back for just a moment. It was staring right. At. You.

Your instincts won over as you ran. You didn’t know where, just away from that thing. It was not a bear’s face you saw. You had no idea what ‘it’ was, only it should not be here. You weren’t sure how far your sprint carried you when you saw the forest’s edge, bordered by bright, soft snow. What you didn’t see, however, was the rock obscured by snow-covered ferns.

The sound that escaped your lips was halfway between a gasp and an ear-splitting shriek, whilst from your ankle came a sharp crack. You moaned in pain as blood seeped from your boot, soaking into your pants and staining the snow around your feet. You shivered as you felt your body struggle to keep conscious against the shock and pulsing agony from your broken ankle. But you didn’t hear any pursuer.

You listened over your hammering heart, and was met with silence. You weren’t sure to be relieved, or enraged at the carelessness that got you in this situation. You tried to sit up, only to fall back, face-first, into the snow. You’d never had a high tolerance for pain—not that you suffered many injuries—so this was utterly incapacitating.

You remained still for some time, hoping there was a chance someone would find you, when you heard vegetation being crushed and something coming towards you. Your heart quickened again as you attempted to play dead, which was fairly convincing as you laid limp, face-down in the powder and smelling of blood. You felt your stomach sink as a loud, chuffing breath warmed the back of your neck. Any second now, you expected long, sharp claws to dig into your back, and were pleasantly surprised when you felt fingers press into your shoulder. That too, however turned to dread as a heavy, hand-like paw landed near your face, barely visible in the corner of your visor.

The thing moved around you, sniffing, until it retreated back to your injury. At the gentle touch, you couldn’t stop from weakly moaning, “Agh! It hurts…”

The pressure immediately lifted, and sweat threatened to cascade down your brow as the thing shuffled closer to your head. You could feel it kneel down to be at eye-level, and surprisingly softly, it said in a rumble, “You can speak. Good. Will you let me help you?”

You found it hard to reply, not just from surprise, but the growing lightheadedness. You finally managed to push out a small, “…Okay,” which seemed to satisfy the creature.

“Good,” it moved back towards your feet, adding, “I won’t be able to fix internal damage, you’ll need your human doctors for that. I will close the wound and ease the pain, but I doubt your ability to walk.”

At that, you anticipated another wave of agony, but when pressure pressed close to the wound, that was all you felt. There was a feeling of your skin being tugged at, but that didn’t hurt, either, despite how strange the sensation was. By now the sun was hidden behind the surrounding trees, and you began to grow cold as the light receded.

The creature seemed to finish tending to your injury, then rumbled, “Allow me to keep you warm,” as you felt a furry, thick coat begin to wrap around you. It lifted you from the snow into the coils as you finally got a good look at the thing.

Its long and thick body was covered with the ragged-looking pelt, a deep grayish-green with occasional splotches of what looked to be moss or lichen. While one large, muscular arm helped in supporting you, the other appeared to be a limb of vines only superficially resembling that of an arm. It had no legs, its chest down a slowly tapering core of muscle, which led you to assume it might be a naga, but the face—in addition to the aforementioned details—told otherwise. It wore a wooden mask, with prominent but harmless teeth engraved around its rim, and two white eyes that looked back with an almost disinterested expression. You truly had no idea what this was.

You did begin to feel warmer, but you still felt incredibly apprehensive with this thing wrapped around you. Its voice remained gentle, however, as it conversed, “You appear concerned. I will not harm you, like any fellow creature I’ve previously met. You do not have to fear me. I will keep you safe. You may call me Tarse.”

Your voice threatened to die in your throat, but you eventually croaked, “…w-what are you?”

The emotion in Tarse’s eyes didn’t change as he replied, “I am a Wyrm. My kind does not normally frequent here, and I only desire to pass by on my journey back home.”

All you did was nod. Tarse held you close as night began to fall, covering all except your face so you could still breathe. It sounded as if he had fallen asleep, for his breathing slowed and muscles relaxed, but still kept a secure hold so you wouldn’t slip. You looked at the stars, wondering if your friends knew you were even here, but slowly, too, drifted into unconsciousness.

You were awoken with a start as an explosion rocked the mountainside, and without a word Tarse wrapped around you entirely, bracing his body as you were trying to make sense of things. You could hear wood breaking, rocks colliding, and an ungodly roaring as the whole world outside seemed to fall to pieces.

As soon as it started, the chaos was silenced. All you could hear was the breathing of Tarse and your own heart beating out of your chest. Moments of relative silence dragged on, and was only broken when Tarse began to speak.

“The snow and rocks have us completely buried. It I move too much, this space will collapse. I can dig my way out, but you would not be fast or strong enough to follow. However, I will not leave you to perish. I need your trust and understanding.”

You slowly nodded, knowing you had no choice either way.

“I have disagreed with my kin on their actions, but still have the ability to consume things whole,” Tarse continued watching you with his luminous eyes, noticeably much softer now, “I am more plant than animal, but still possess a digestive system similar to yours. I usually only eat plants, and when I do ingest an animal, it is never to kill or provide myself sustenance. I can protect and transport you this way, if you are willing.”

Far, far slower this time, you nodded. If Tarse left you, you’d be crushed by the debris, and though a visceral instinct told you this would also lead to certain death, you were in no position to deny and expect your desire be seriously considered.

Tarse nodded in turn, the rumble in his voice now a gentle purr as he advised, “I do not want to cause further strain on your injury. I will ingest you head-first, and though I understand you will likely struggle, the more still you remain the easier and faster this will be.”

You heard creaking, and felt fear rush through you as Tarse’s mask had a part break off on each side, which extended into long, flexible jaws. He moved slowly and minimally, straining under the weight and attempting to keep you calm despite the horrified expression under your visor.

With jaw fully extended, he asked, “Should you remove your bag? It may be uncomfortable to have it with you, and I fear I may damage it due to its dimensions and shape.”

You had forgotten it was still strapped to your back, and quickly pulled it off with a half-hearted sigh. You untied the skis and laid the poles beside them, saying, “I still want this, but I don’t need those.” Thankfully, they weren’t your favorite.

Tarse nodded, “Once you have settled, I will deliver your belongings to you. It will likely be somewhat cramped, but I’ll try to be accommodating as possible. Tell me when you’re ready.”

The words hung in the quickly vanishing air, and you struggled to come to terms with what was to happen. However, since the Wyrm was letting you decide when, it gave a minimal sense of reassurance. Eventually, you resorted to telling yourself, it’s just another adventure. If this Tarse guy wanted to kill me, he’d’ve done it already, and wouldn’t care if he hurt me more. Godammit, how did I get myself into this…

Tarse watched you with patient eyes, and only nodded when you told him you were ready. With his arms raised to keep from being crushed, he used his tail to gently lift you up to his face, still only squeezing hard enough to keep you stable. As he opened his jaws wide, you could hardly see anything more than a black abyss yawning back at you. This is it, you thought, and the jaws descended over your head.

You didn’t realize how cold you were until Tarse’s warmth washed over you. You couldn’t help but shiver as your once soggy, freezing clothes were now drenched with warm, slippery saliva. You also shook as a wave of revulsion hit you, spurred by the action of Tarse’s tongue coating your neck and chest, and couldn’t help as you squirmed with discomfort. The Wyrm paused, sensing your distress, and after a few moments of you mostly reassuring yourself, continued.

You felt yourself tipped forward as Tarse tilted his own head back, and whimpered as your head entered his throat, thankfully only further drenching your visor and helmet. In your ears, you could clearly hear the sound of gulping as you were swallowed, but also heard something like creaking wood as the esophagus grew tighter. Tarse began to swallow with more force, and after seeming to push your shoulders past this point, once again resigned to gently easing you deeper into his body. When you finally felt your feet taken in by his throat, you found yourself wondering how much longer until you were in his stomach. Soon as that thought arose, you were pushed into a chamber far looser, and within half a minute, you were completely sealed inside.

You couldn’t help but press your hand into the plush—but highly textured—walls, which pulsed and shifted around but never once encroached further upon you. It seemed fairly sudden when you heard another gulp and your bag slid inside the stomach with you, also soaking, but thankfully it was waterproof. You held it close to your chest as your position shifted, and you felt the muscles around you flex as Tarse likely began to burrow through the debris.

You expected the heat and lack of oxygen to send you to sleep, but your mind was surprisingly alert as your surroundings continued to shift with a noticeable wave-like pattern. You remained silent, and nearly squeezed the bag from your arms as Tarse spoke to you.

“There is a human residence further down the mountain, but when I arrive it shall be mid-day and generously occupied. I would only be able to deliver you there when night falls. While I can regurgitate you a minor distance away so you may arrive on foot, I do worry your injury may impede you. If you would allow me, however, I can heal you far more effectively with you inside me, though there may be permanent, albeit harmless, side-effects.”

“Like what?”

“You may lose pain sensation in that limb, you may acquire an unforeseen defect, or part of your body may be replaced altogether. I do not doubt my ability to treat you, but as you’re awake, it may be disturbing and painful.”

“But,” you began, “I’m not tired, I can’t sleep…”

“I have been supplying copious amounts of oxygen to you,” Tarse explained, “however, I can supplement a kind of anesthetic into the air around you that will put you to sleep. Will you let me do this?”

“I can’t make you either way, so…yeah, I guess,” you replied, and felt the walls shift around you again as you became aware of a sweet smell. You weren’t sure how much time passed, but eventually you felt the laced air fill your lungs and your eyes grow heavy. Your speech grew slurred as you asked, “You, prromis you’re not gon’…I’ll still wake up? Laterrr ‘course…right?”

“Of course,” was all Tarse said, and you slipped from consciousness.

Your eyes flew open as you sat up and gasped, wincing as bright light entered through your visor. Breathing quickly, you tried to recall how you may have gotten here, propped up against a tree along one of the maintenance roads with your bag awkwardly situated in your lap. You distinctly remembered taking the path you normally took, then getting lost, but then…?

The memories flooded back, and you relaxed against the tree, breathing a relieved sigh that you seemed safe, but most importantly, Tarse kept his word. You reasoned he must have let you out while you still slept, then as you remembered your ankle, tore off your boot and gasped. Instead of the pinkish flesh or a scar, your ankle and foot was completely replaced with a wood-like substance. You touched it, expecting there to be no sensation, but besides the smooth, hard texture and color, it still felt, and looked, like how it normally would. You gaped at this, flexing your foot and then standing, finding it to hold your weight perfectly without any sign of the past injury.

You couldn’t help but smile as you pulled your sock back on, then your boot as you thought of how your friends would react. Surely, you would have to come up with a tale that sounded less farfetched than what truly happened, but it was a challenge you were willing to take. Looking around you, you tried to see if Tarse was still around, but there was no sign of the Wyrm. You wanted to thank him, but reasoned you would have to get back to the trailhead soon, or risk him being discovered by someone else.

With a grateful sigh, you picked up your bag and slung it over your shoulder, using the sun’s position to decide which way down the road to take, and began your trek. It was only a few steps when you groaned, bec

#soft vore #safe vore #protective vore #Tarse #long post #my ocs

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moonraccoon-exe · 6 years ago

Note

I just spent a little over five minutes reading and rereading what you responded to me with. I’m afraid I’m a little on the shy and lurking but really kinda sweet scale. I wanted to let you know that because you’re always full of energy and happiness and compliments. Just the reply to me alone was actually gorgeous. I hate that there’s a set number of characters on here. You’re genuine. You’re kind. You’re a great friend to the people around you. Just reading your blog makes me happy. 🐙🌙

*CLUTCHES CHEST*

OH NO, MY DEAR OCTO FRIEND, SQUISHY YOU, NOOOOOOOOO, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY AGAIN!!! ;A; AKSFJAKLGJ ALKSF JAKLGDALFDAJ

*drops to the floor, curls up, and starts crying*

Omg Octo friend, you’re…too sweet with me, too nice, too kind, how am I supposed to reply to you? I feel like I give you a heart, you give me ten back, and I…I’m overwhelmed in a good way, but how can I thank you enough? ;___; 3

Really, seriously…thank you. I’m sitting here absolutely marveled and in awe because I don’t know how people can be this amazingly sweet with me, I mean, it’s not…I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not that I think I don’t deserve it, it’s not that. But to hold me in such a positive and high place, it’s sort of…it’s very, immensely shocking and amazing. Sort of like, I feel I’m not doing anything important, but you make it feel like that, you make it feel like I’m doing something phenomenal and heroic and it makes me feel proud and happy but it’s also unexpected in some way…you know?

I really don’t know how to put it. I’m marveled. In awe and at loss of words, I don’t know what to say, this is absolutely incredible in ways I can’t explain. I’m…wow. Just…wow… :’)

Thank you, buddy. I don’t know how to say it or what to add to it so you can grasp at least half or ¼ of how much I mean it, of how much feeling I’m putting into those words. Thank you. Immensely, profoundly, wholeheartedly, thank you. I’m in awe and completely moved at your words, it’s incredible. I thought I couldn’t be more marveled after the previous ask, then you came in and proved me wrong, haha!

Ah, my god…astrals above, ASTRALS, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY!?!??!?!?! :’)

Thank you lots for taking the time to read whta I responded. I’m aware I talk too much so it can get sorta boring? So thanks for that.

It’s okay that you’re on the shy and lurking scale. I understand that you prefer to be quiet and take some distance, and that’s okay! I too do that sometimes with some people, and it doesn’t mean I don’t value them, it’s just…the shyness. Right? So I completely understand that. I’d love to hear from you every now and then, even if once a year, just to see how ya doing.

Someone this sweet, kind, and incredible should be having fantastic days and a good life in its majority, so I hope for i and I’d love to know that. But that’s not a must! You take the distance and time you need, we don’t even need to interact again if you don’t want that. Shyness is a real thing and people often think or say it’s just about “growing trust” and comfortable with others, when really it’s not that.

Shyness is different. There’s your social energy and other stuff, but long story short, I understand that you’re shy and lurking and prefer it that way, and I respect it, and I appreciate you lots

Thank you for lettin gme know you’re shy!!! That’s also going to help me because if I hadn’t known, I’d probably get wrong ideas like omg you hate me or you disappeared and will never talk to me again, when truth is, you’re there, you just need your space. That’s wonderful!! Thank you so immensely for letting me know, and you’re right; you’re abslutely sweet. A precious soft muffin of sweetness and love, full of kindness and a very beautiful color that radiates good things.

Gods, there’s so much fantastic and good people in this planet, how am I blessed to find another one here…? Astrals, I’m a blessed and lucky creature. Thank you so much for sharing some of your amazing self with this raccoonie. All this goodness and kindness are contagious, you know? So I’m here being showered in lots of it and feeling wonderful

I’m happy that you liked my reply to you :’) I felt like I stayed short in words because, just like this one ask, how am I supposed to express my gratitude enough? You’re syaing such beautiful and huge things about me, you’re being so nice, gifting me all this wonderufl positivity and kindness and asking for nothing back, it’s incredible and mindblowing, and it’s not everyday that you see things like that. So really, how am I supposed to say thanks enough or with strength enough?

So I felt I stayed short. But I’m happy that you liked my response, nonetheless. All that I say is sincere, maybe a bit more than it may come off as, so I really appreciate that you liked it. It me pouring out my sincere thoughts and feelings!! :3

Really, thank you for thinking that my response was pretty. It makes me happy, and makes me feel all this asjdklagjaklj inside… :’3

To have called me genuine…

*sigh*

Astrals. That’s another of the sweetest and most sincere things I’ve been told. Things like happy are common, I value and treasure them dearly, but still, genuine is something that not everyone calls others, not as commonly as other things. And I really, really treasure that you called me that.

Genuine. It means a lot to me. Someitmes I fear I may come off as “You say the same to everyone”, which sometimes is true, but not because I say similar things often to different people does it mean I mean it less or take value from it, on the opposite. So that you call me genuine really means a lot to me.

Thank you for acknowledging that all I say or do, I do with sincerity. Genuine…it sounds like…I don’t know, a huge thing. Like an immense responsibility, and a compliment on the same measures. I don’t know how to handle it or how to thank you enough. It’s truly…wow. Wow…

Genuine…

I may be thinking about it for the rest of the week and a little more beyond that, hahaha…genuine…that’s so…well, so sincere and such a huge thing for you to say about me, and it really means a lot to me, and I value it dearly…thank you. Thank you, thank you so much for thinking and speaking about me in such a kind, sweet, incredible, and beautiful way. I don’t know what I’ve done or if what little I do is enough to be worthy of such giant words and views, but I won’t question it. You’ve said it and that alone means a whole world to me…really… :’)

Thank you, thank you, I don’t know how to say it enough. Akalsjfkladjgalkdjfakldgj, KALSJDLAKJGAKLJFALKJGAKLDGJ AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I FEEL SO LITTLE COMPARED TO WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT ME, I REALLY WANT TO GIVE YOU AS MUCH THANKS AND PRAISE AS YOU’RE GIVING ME BUT YOU’VE BEEN SO SWEET WITH ME, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MATCH IT AKSJDKALDJGAK

I mean, I know it’s not a competition, you give just to give, but still…I’m marveled. Thank you so dearly and profoundly much for everything, for all the nice things you’ve said about me and for letting me know. Thank you for calling me genuine, and kind, and fabulous. The way you speak about me means a lot to me, a whole world, and I’m truly so very grateful that you took the time to write to me just to let me know your beautiful thoughts.

Thank you so dearly, my friend. Thank you for speaking so nicely about me, and for saying that you think I’m a good friend to the people around me. :’)

That’s sort of my goal. I know that not everyone around us will like us, there’s always going to be people that dislike us, but that’s not the point. I try to be a friend in this sense of….I try to give off the sensation that I “don’t bite”. You know? The sensation that I’m open to be friends with anyone that wants to come close. So that you say such a thing makes me feel like I’m doing as I want and as I’ve always aimed for. Makes me feel that there’s something I’m doing right…and for that, my friend, I thank you immensely.

Lots of time we spend thinking we’re not doing anything “useful”, when truth is we’re doing more than we ourselves realize. This is one of those times when tanks to you I see that I’m doing something right. Perhaps nothing giant or anything, but to me, that’s really a compliment, that you think I’m a good friend.. Thank you so, so very much, buddy. I’m still in awe by your words and all you’ve said about me, and I know I’ve said it too much already, but really, thanks… ;A;

LKALDLGKLJGAKSJGKLAJFSKLAGJSAKLJFAKSLFJALKSFJAKSLKLFJAKSJDASKLFHSALKADJLSAKJFAKLFJAKLSFASLKDJSAKGADKSLJAFA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I don’t know if you wrote “moon moon” on purpose or if it was one of those times your mind gets tricky on you and you wanted to write “moon coon” or anything similar but iit slipped, but I wanted you to know, “my adorable little moon moon” is probably one of the moST ADORABLE, SWEETEST, CUTEST LITTLE NICKNAMES I HAVE E V E R BEEN GIVEN AND I HYPERVENTILATE AND I FLAIL AND I SCREAM AND I SQUEAK WITH NO CONTROL BECAUSE IT’S SO CCUTE AKLJSDKLAJG

*SQUEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK*

*UNCONTROLLABLY COUNCES ALL ACROSS THE ROOM WHILE SQUEAKING*

*HYSTERICALLY CRYING*

MY DEAR OCTO FRIEND, SWEETEST LITTLE ANGEL, MOST ADORABLE SQUISHY FRIEND, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME!?!??! ;A;

*CLUTCHES CHEST AND COLLAPSES*

AGH MY HEART. IT’S- SO FULL OMG IT CAN’T CONTAIN THESE LVELS OF ADORABLENESS AND /LOVE/ AKLSJDLKAGJALK JALK ;____;

Omg, I- I’m just- really touched and in absolute awe of this whole ask. It’s so fll of affection and love, I don’t know how to contain and digest it all, it’s WONDERFUL and so stunning and so mindblowing, I don’t know what to say. All the nice things you called me, all the wonderful thoughts, all those beautiful views you have of me and sharing with me, I’m…marveled. I know I said it too much already too, but it’s true. I’m sitting here in absolute shock and awe because how am I supposed to thank you enough?

Are you reading what you wrote to me? IT’s so…amazing. So stunningly beautiful. All the nice compliments, the good things, the kind traits, it’s all so…immense. It doesn’t fit in my comprehension, it’s so beautifully magnificent, I’m in awe that someone talks in such a way about me, to me. A-aah….octo friend, I’m…so happy that it’s sad aklsdjklajg :’(

Thank you for all the good things you said about me. I often say I’m fabulous, but always on a joking tone; you, however, made it sound like one of the greatest compliments ever. Like I truly am fabulous in the sense of amazing, where I had only used it as a joke before.

How can�� I thank you enough? How to let you know how grateful I am, and how touche? Omg Octo buddy, this is insanely beautiful.

Did you know that there’s this thing they say in psychology, that when you see something in someone, that’s because you own it too? They usually say it for the bad things so that you can see what your flaws are, but I believe that it works for the good things too.

Soo look at all what you told me. Kind, sweet, genuine, a good friend….all that applies to you too. There’s no way you could have seen it in me otherwise. So know that you too are a phenomenal and fantastic creature, and the world is blessed to have you walking on it.

Thank you so much for blessing the world with your presence and existence. Don’t ever change, either, Octo buddy. And if you do, may it be for the better, if that’s possible.

Dear Octo buddy, there’s little I can do to say thanks as enough as I feel it. I’m a magical creature from the moon so I do can send you lots of my fluffiest, most magical, luckiest, happiest magic, so that it fills your life of even better things and happier days, and luck, and muffins, and all the spngey, fluffy, and cute things you can think about. May the stars give you three times as you’ve given me. May your days be full of happiness and love, and may you never lack anything in your life. (ɔˆ⌣(ˆ⌣ˆc)

Thank you from deep within and with my whole heart for all that you’ve given me, and for all the beautiful and insanely wonderful things that you see in me. Thank you wholeheartedly for taking the time to write to me about what you think about me, thank you for overcoming your shyness for that (it takes a lot of courage!!! I’m insanely grateful for you to have taken a moment to fight your shyness and be this sincere and open with me. It mustn’t have been easy. I value, treasure, and thank you for it. Insanely

You, gorgeous creature. Thank you for existing. ❤

Not knowing very well what else to say, and feeling I once more am staying absurdly short, I wish you the best, and I thank you wholeheartedly, and I tell you that you’ve made me absolutely happy. Thank you so very much, I say it with all my sincerity :’)

Dear Octobuddy...I hope you’re having the most beautiful of day or nights!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ♡

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castlehead · 3 years ago

Text

: LITTLE MILE,

PART ONE : : [live for the weekend and buy grams of blow with your paycheck.

see section A. feel good about going for walks. work thru a long distance relationship and get through the suicidal shit okay. then

break promises but also keep a few, not to keep up appearances but you wish rather to keep the purity of your word, which is hard fucking work. wait till she comes for a visit after super long time

apart and spread some roses on the bed because she likes that sort of thing. leave oreos on the pillow as oreos are delicious. ride her later in the night about that time you smoked six cigarettes in five

minutes as she was blowing xanax to prove a point. go to sleep crying but remember a few special moments as well and base your memories around that. see GOD for awhile but then decide it was

bullshit and perhaps just your conscience given a literal voice. see section A. hear nobody text you for days and understand some weird nonsensical ehrebung at really enjoying a smoke for the first

time in the morning as you look out the window. it is brisk and sunny and the bricks of the buildings look beautiful. think what a day what a day etc. then actually try to accomplish something with friends in

PARK SLOPE. understand finally that the general agreement is you whack as shit. then find a letter from your girlfriend from awhile ago and feel uplifted all over again for some reason but as for positivity

you do not discriminate. drink horn of sun to fierce last dregs. think about whether you are actually thin or just think you get thinner when you are really just used to how fat you are. talk to your girlfriend at

a certain point mentioned in section A. while on break for way too long.

sweat out a cluttered subway ride every morning forever. decide to jump off the BROOKLYN BRIDGE then decide not to. look meaningfully at a

church because you are reading twilight of the idols. repeat a lot of different stuff at irregular intervals. repeat stuff at regular intervals. learn that those statements are an acceptable example of an irregular repetition: or is

irregular as regards time only, not difference: an irregular life has less to do with fiber than we think. an irregular life can be as varied as disposition to pate : : as feeling to brokenness, as alteration altered to fear of change

might comfort one back into the nest of ignorance : it doesn't have to mean as regards, well, anything : it itself can be fiber, a fibrous fiber: so: we scrounge for something burred underneath the soft netting: crack up: put way too much

weight in your presence at social events : leave social events early or go to sleep in front of everybody pretending to be passed out : see social events as a total stressor : don't kno what to do : never know what to do ever: social

events. assume yourself a negative, discomfited person thereby. lose all friends because you dig deep into stupidity to find a reason for it, think about it until you go blind, rectify and rectify till all's a mess: is that what you want: yes:

friends are lost based upon too many simpering blasted apologies. really wish that you will leave a good looking corpse and do leave a good looking corpse. wonder why you don’t think about childhood very often, as in the concept.

see section A. come to the conclusion that fuck yes it is too late to have a happy one but really come to understand that that doesn’t matter as all things are for a time anyway but then get pissed off about this because you then realize as well

that you are mere mortal and still fields of open grass and oak away from describing something beautiful or whatever but then also wonder that you are infinite wherein the moment is concerned: and then think about your ex

for some crazy reason because all that matters is the past as regards what you’d want to retain in some eternal rolodex of spite or some shit, or maybe it’s just you but you can’t reimburse your mom because of all the infinite

you’re feeling and tell her you can’t and she says that is okay but doesn’t mention that it is ok because the advent of your twenties was mainly depressing, and you there, in room, gnawing at psyche like some useless ape as usual say, WELL

OUT WITH IT, and there she goes finagling a fart out of her ass your mom we are speaking of your mom and her aggravation and her remnant pain from a lost job years ago because oh certainly to fail once is to fail forever

and then you as you are young realize the moment is forever and you can make it a failure and you can make it a wonderful revealing of some big thickened BLEAR asking for property, asking for sense to be given it but you

can’t you can’t justify the dread nay [beckett] nor the odd ghosts in your bathroom that time you spoke to yourself for days and and and so then so then the weekend promises at least an end to this damned ineradicable

gloom and empty state as in empty and taxing but no state of emptiness no state of gloom yet here is gloom here is the reflections of a man refusing too long to look in the damn mirror and see himself is it you or is it i or is it all

the damn farts from the woman who birthed you wanting to be the final whiffing sound as to all of your gutsy failures and drudges through fields of stone and grass and oak you paint out of a backpack and some green

carpet in your room that one time you tripped balls on a tuesday on mushrooms and the razor talked to you and proved by its unassuming nature a very grill to the face that damned long face of a son too burnt

into his own damned house and wired by the damned eternity that sounds like some resilient, grand tocsin, some priketh ye some don’t but ya know it’s all just plain forgotten and happy at that, I’d live in codes wordless

more than explain this meaninglessness and/or stain on the life of time, that is humanity: that is growth: that is the paradigm of something written, written, scratched along the judgments of your mom’s farting fucking

asshole, your grown ass self, so proud to put on pants, so good at that one joke made riskily at a party and relished ever afterwards, so good at failure, happy failure, happy, happy to enter that small crack in the sadness too, happy

to bloom out of dismissal, shunning, happy to mature past the point of needing a single reason for a fart, an end, or a waste of mind. turn 30.

repeat. [etc] see section A.] ?? . . . .

RAGE on rage on, collapse into morning day like something of a storm, at least Frightful mist, some thunder bloom / glass incipient of the troubling harrowing: Some awful precondition. Out its frightful bells: wetly dew paints grass lucent-

-And I rise away from all that in my small cave in my state an eye half open, My knuckles are red from cracking them on my own jaw very a lot that night And some banging head i.e. sleep deprivation considered itself and made it

Worse. I thwarted myself continually mind whanging useless and thickly, like Sometimes i feel like that hamster I had when I was in middle school, wasn't, That i never named - - - uh, worth, it, wasn't worth it . S'ok it's ok for things

To no be worth it. Don't cry well then here's a fucking cookie Tard. I literally Just spat up phlegm right on my computer / no joke / I am freakish, & loud Also re hamster-mortality: I kno it is tragic, my girlfriend lost HAMSTERR

Named peanut. An entire quadrant of space specking thru eyes of that thing All day . Dont think ive evr done this much speed in one night (lol) i dont think i should be able to backtalk : this quick speed = religious,

[chalk dust molars fanatical facial people crunch 'em with 'em to dust. be sure to drudge up spume in the foggy brume some master floater or for sake of interracial justice an inanimate image of justice untarnished by opinion

or blaspheme. vulgar just for sake of cashing in on the weird honey : dip in there : of big politics etc anticipatory raging, prolepsis, summoner say : ARiSE ! ! !! : my girlfriend: she is sleeping right next to the and oh like a lamb she is, right

next to the voodoo-man, shepherd, making us all fly thru the honey right into some strict objective eye, truly naked vision, making commune with image and self. - - ] She goes on dozing into me and snoring soft like a, like subtle universal truth, or

Somethin. My snot is stuck in the bakc of my skull, i feel, i feel like waking up my Girlfriend with my hands all over like tidal waves : : i know hamstermortality, to let The reader kno : it is the wave of arcanum 17 : it is, it is waft of hope, like random

Prescience. Iit is the great like space etc of all, or some completely lazy encompassing. Kewl things only exist cuz hm i guess they exist for — — time, like hamsterts, Hamsters = meaning of universe, it’s like classical semantics or fuzzy logic:

Supervaluationists predicting borderline cases!!! How many hairs must i lose before You can call me bald : for the hairs will exist alway / they will, they will scream out : They will be a thing that is they are the very fuxxx god calls logic

Slash these words apart, greet blame and slash that, grab the bags: Run from the rage then, drum up some possibility for fuel, beat legs For leagues. ‘Message’ after ye with a bat, won’t get a thing so. But

Kicked up dust he’ll cough on, sweat drooling, finally fatigued: marigolds Fooling in the wind around him, agh, long day: we run into the ‘Pome’ Later: find it sucking on a sugar lump in some coffeeshop, well, money:

Who knew, who but the pivot finally: as drain groans a fable like a job to Do. Shit twists with flood and the seagulls berating lend belief at it all with Solid statement, caw, caw, wishing, duh, To Be Done With Message

Of course, especially one that some brine of heart sloshed up: some Reticular wisdom like as hair, hateful : some weird gloss over shadow Dims the bald head, the bald ‘Message’ - the crested ol’ bigot furious

Yawp yapping damnable in that there roast for the father: big squeeze, Squeeze of animus. Finally, down the block of stillness, down dug into The brig, obstructed color, rigid air, manic doors, kids laughing at him:

Little Mile : : feel it all over again : what answers can we get to as regards You fully: an elliptical, maybe? Or trash, or earthy disarrangement, dirt, Particles resulting in flipflop, wages made but unfulfilled for good? Or

Maybe marigolds !! Breezes coming out of their loops into wiggling weight Themselves, hulking as cathedral tunes, heavy with ambiguous threadiness, And that holy torment of an ever-figuring progenitor, professor of the

'Message'—black & bleak—against the righteous curiosity, ol' puff-head, ol' Apoplectic, Sorry For The State Of - - and dese homeless parties of the Sad. The sad chase, the chase as I must do is still solo. But grand, the

Hemophilic fire, the rusty brigade o’ pleaches o’ daffy hair, dummy cunt To stake on cosmic sex, just a blowoff: still. Then. Little dragoons whiffed It up anyways and blessed the fakery past mythos into real, made a great,

Big sepulcher for all 'em fathers: all the risks at tacky jive: lagoon: great, Great swoon of fibrous living out the ducky’s little murmuring in the mud, Tump-a-tump with buckles o’ swash : #dgaf : yet is we da pirate , as in ,

We is , we ah make anything magnificent and say it is that and leave it So. We. Croon and wait for that swell damned music’s dish to punch big and soft into the pillow : we: meet poetry POETRY POETRY POUR IT ALL

And soft into th. pillow. We. Down a side-street : have a baffled-eye ‘a sec: Din in the den gets closed the sisters ears : think some nature-shit: stfu: Bucolic site there wispy girl : pencil neck : root , , , for Image-Pleasant:

For you that is : root for the Panjundrum not, in his anger-yells all daffy, Deadening reasons for the noise, amplified like a big [bracket] to the side Of something, past declaration, past the final honesty and towards some

New squeamish chuck of ew-grease out of my bad throat : 'Message' Attempts to toughen with - providence, it feels, it knows - of mere scraps Of itself, and then I emit new strings for my shoes, frayed knot, couple

Stoners ranting in a parking lot when one sees a human innim and flees, From eye of him : one states the [bracket] as annotation even though it Supplies nothing : mere notation is as much enclitic for an infidel sense

As rhyming to behead borders of rhythm with timing , adding meaning Like chaff at the end while a sprocket ebbs out then 'splodes at once, a Gathering of mite and fingernail and bedding shod in the cracks under

The bland couch then sets aflame, burning down the garbage, which is Everywhere : police police : fuck da : : whelp : lost musings only whelm As much as one is willing to go rapidly , that is, will be as quality as the

Quicken, enacting some different statement thru defensive natures of style Like Declension : Logoaedic : parse the thought, then let it run before the Jello melts, food gets cold: picnic raped by ants. Premise of the rule. So the:

Uh: bracketed, shuffling fragged things dole more out for the warmness, As in, have something mean what it means, leave it at notation , make the Final well and, "End like a spear, not like a broom" - - Well, who knows

About honor: maybe just to prove myself I will right something really for Awhile too messed for the husbandman to mould with his ass: drop the Incisive manacles, they get my wrist bit with copper: write to right a thing

You never mention: madden out copper tongues: make demands about Stuff you have no idea you are actually talking about: but that's not going To mention itself either and is perhaps what is missing for the right reasons:

So why yell out proper tongues if that is all tongues want is their own voice To hock a spray of legit logey sniffed up the nasal psg. and out into the World. Well. Garbage burns itself to slew. But you like that. You enjoy

The mesmerized epiphanic trumpeting, priketh, prike prike : nasty uncle, He was , and a bald head a sunshine away from DEATH-LAZER. Stun, But be stupid as brick. As was said, I speak to reflect mirrors in darkness.

Should be obvious. Maybe this inkling of finding a new way to speak'll Dart straight for the first reason to pant and wave commodities at the sullen Sucker-tourist upon losing his next day's provender at the hands of silly kids.

DeMand: Wring rungs out proper tongues, lick pompous, drone on in thatt Stat o’ thing: status of thing: state of things: rut t tt t t t tt t tt t t tttt tt t t t t tttt Guts me : feeling in’t I feel nothing but in hole: & & & & & & & & & & & & &

Still the great compilers edge more into the fantastic, learn to eat it along with The tragic as one happy meal. Eventual blossom, hoping Mary and Ed ride fine Off into the sunset, cans tied to the bumper clicking like cliché: Jesus is sick :

He tells me so much is at risk here : then again, who could harbor such a feel But Big J or Yeezy : : well he’s a prick : that’s why you shouldn't music so much: I don’t listen to music nomores: even you’re tarnished bc of all this harlot noise

Attempting heaven, & whatnot : WHAT? WHO THN ?? WHAT THEN ?? So Fortunately, I’m Done. Getting into ye head. I’m already there. Felt random & Also, tortuous pressure spread keen thru label after label, waiting for sustenance,

It was given, as if words could ugh the body with ugh : feed me with 'don't' is What the character 'Message' means. This sentence means it is myself declaring A sentence. That is what it means, and the Myself in it shines out of that part of

It like some beautiful renegade oxygen, a distillation more perverse, a naked way, A death of all that damnable stuff we got our heads warped around in like some Exquisite Fucking Turban [tho false] tho, maybe drunk off picked points smacking

Of defeat, well : : : such's to give up meaning at all - - MESSAGE _a t_ _a l l_ [?] As if words could damage the body : does language uh have one string it can plukk To stop the heart?[.] Or does it all. Well. Uh, lose weight: is it a fascinating receptacle,

Or mere extensiveeverything: ” Do You Believe In God.” – – – – – – I wouldn't be Able to give you anything for jesus, much less Jews. HAve little idea what I believe. Belief is odd. I think I believe in, just, being chased, you know, for thievery. It's a

Saturated L.A. sun like in this song by [The National] it is called "Pink Rabbits." it Is really damn good I remember feeling like the string to my heart almost cut that one Time. But I couldn't tell you anything a medium in some spooky curtained shop

Wouldn't be able to perform with a bit more erggh 'flair' well damn I despise flair write To construct a core or write to DeMand to write or write to right something wrong w. Your sister's [hairdo] or write about strings. Write about all the strings. What all of

Them would do if connected THE WORLD IS POME across the globe. Don't think There'd be much room else for people. Well no worries then, you’ll steal hunches till you Can’t even breathe a thinnest wisp of sister-air. Enjoy never figuring out anything. I

Like to tip-toe but that's no way to run , I gotta say the world is fucked w/o a point , , , The drain is really sick [!] w. all this flood it might as well be the guts of garbage And the rightness of wrong , of the failed and of lineage thru language do we bring

Our own booze do we sing some amped version of the obvious soullessness everybody Gets to grate all over everybody else like some annoying sadness too small for this World, too inscrutable to be anything bt what it is, what it is not anything, as POME

Is words, not ideas, get subjugated by need to buddy up with certainty by corroborating This or that line with another, breaking another, letting pennies go slipshod thru da Grate, while all the while mighty confusion rends a new surprise in plain polished sight,

But o the bees in my gut wig out more folly but as plain to live and hope by their ruin To bring the ties untangled, yes, state the statement-as-goal, martyr a few mirrors thru Indelible mistake, ending Kierkegaard at Democritus' river etc. NO WE NEVER

STEP THRU THE SAME RIVER TWICE NO NOR PERHAPS ONCE, anyways, The bees escape nathless from a pirson-prison. In spite of all this floppy flotsam, Like some weird torture. The stingings bless, the robust yellow flow mitred across

De backs uf'm. And I still considerable, a regular pill for the unagog men still seeing Me unsightly, some lack, some twit, some spook : er something as like, as what god Makes of his leftovers in the afternoon between jobs: but me young boss: HOSS:

What?, zooks, gain, what gain 'questionmark' nothing an adorable steeple could not Bring together as all us wonderful people together rise them, these middle fingers- -Pointing up UP UP, run with lacking, then, fuck, huh?, shut up, suited only to

Sslipped phrase, the bank account gets canceled & yr out on the streets with only Luck and Fucks to feed you. Wiring runoff, shattered, wrecked, fetid, but all of it So Human that nobody seems to mind: neither of those three words can understand

My theosophy, nor gainsay, I'm too cryptic: : fault fault, fault fault, thwartedness- -But still continuance, shorn but not straight dead. Lucky but suffering. What a bore, To get brought in by force, to the party, snatch a few lichen, press against petri dish

To make dialogue unheard of or no at the party what this is about, this sleight of hand, This emotional screening we seize up and clench our asshole to forget about, rot in it I Say, row those sewage tentacles, mandibles, new legs from the mess, new smack to

The veins, new shot, lessening as day and eyesight, NARCAMNARCAM. Ruin stake [valuesystem] bless me achoo gradient risen sceptic collide me w truth,

Ruin stake dress me up in my garters and delirious falbalas at table, valuesystem,

Run to the ruin: make stand up puppetry the rotary: vast tracts of time enable the- -Child to believe he is infinite. Child god goes wishing-wishing at peak, wishing To see: you flee from definition like that stoner guy from earlier all the time, you

You let the questions mysteries bleed out thru yr fanciful cufflinks: drat: quaint: Wanna bleed staid blood. Want to create the hurt that must hurt, that must come: Just to have some control, as elusive blood, got to pour lopsided from a precious

Wound : : we gaze into ourselves and do not speak, wondering what batty thing Happened back there: we go wishing to dash away performance with a little more Laze: 5-year-old Genius. But yea. But, with you I shuffle into someone free. You

You see the curtain and you know the pianist is behind it nodding off into overdose: You are knowing what curtains mean and that curtains rarely help to cover meanings: You realize there is nothing to peek at nothing to see so you shrug and go home to

Your death, ever-approaching some more-appropriate redness , , , but the redness in The West , tho. What's with that haze that looks like the hoarsest GLARE of all: It is the shot in the arm taken too breezy, brought you to the finale, the glimpse then

Recession into embedding blank blankets of so-and-so upon your life, weighty big Deaths greeting you with comfort, delicious sating of the lorn, and raggedy willful Bravery so long perceived like an animal, that is, now seen so much to salute. So I

Have access now into your maze : it is dangerous here : bees go grinding against the Gut. Entrails that trail haphazard underneath everything forever : the flighty frolic Of your hair, sister : good on you for nvr doing hoarse/horse. Your hair that speaks

In looks looks like the bigger maze, the bigger harder hug to give one day when just , When things get better: just so one don't get bitter, what from examining all sides of The same pipe dream. DeMand, and makes thus bigger dissonance w. me. Say me,

Of your aspect, at base, nothing less, your talent is my name and sister-curse, my uh My name is one to have in spades, you gotta have it so it radically disappears under A veil mentioned elsewhere in full wherein the chase is always and never the point

As your legs, extremities exist by the disappearance of a prior location, or some Name, some name called death we get into other ideas 'bout. But it is a lost name. Bu I cannot bless more than I bleed. Whatever that means. Perhaps I tell

This to others, they do not offer but stares and blinking : oh alienation : what an Easily dismissible thing : REAL PROBLEMS hah : in that case, those girls Kidnapped in Nigeria're having real problems : suffering is subjective & hell

We, as In I, Race Towards It as anything the wiser, wise as answer, jus cast answer, Jus cast ANSWER:- whatever happen to be, jus quake out a few inappropriate Inabilities in front of anyway, including meshing: hear aspersions there, here

And there: I say, if one feels pathos then uh you know the whitest lash fuck express it, fuck!, don’t you painful on your brow loose the snow came, bother with a perfect shape as the clad in crammed houses families shape you have is naturally a very frown at homies, themselves children, improvisation, imperfect as a sky made random and the same as all storm, asleep flakes or something, like, one sky, just made like me to feel like an actor one. i guess, uh. that is what i make like to me guess. that nothing happens if we within the thin walls, while bruised dads glimpse the hood are indifferent or something. give in rochester, barely guap to eat, to obsession, passion etc. then uh my father runs into a grand jizz what follows’s a thing the greater on the way back captures it and puts it in a safe . for therapy. write on for therapy? his father was a vato, well fuck yes. do it and do it and gift-wrapping raining down do it. i like channeling whitman , , on christmas, wanting to capture fame and getting the pink slip . cuz it’a means wealth, like, iduno it was majestic, slowly he i guess like, [vulgate,vulgate] it drowned in throat cancer, later. my dads hates is freewheeling all over the place christmas, but at least he caught a good fuck in childhood and without regards -blank- see yu kno, i cant write on tumblr atm bc something is wrong with my uhhhhhh

keyboard. it doesn’t allow me to , , delete the space between one anddd another line. so i am writing this

to you. it’s probably not really i guess to interesting just see that infinitesimal cube understood so , ,

uh, distantly, as me here, in this room, hanging out with whitman! as in i see ‘im, right here. he is in

the corner smiling to himself bout some private meditation, mostttttt likely. have you figured out this

is a msg in enjambments yet?, you are really cool and ring out , , , , , , despite, right?, whether or not or

maybe regardless. PART II : : : : ERHEM: fast sadness folds in a toilet like down it you know like those soothing squares, gulls take to the particles after response to command goes lagging, and the aqueduct explodes filter to filter after longing for more than garbage could recall, prideful trash–

garbage i done made myself blind blabhah i done made a bad hither, done dash right into the fount of degrading. i feel very such things as i feel and call them detritus still. i am monstrous i am - big eye, i can fuck myself without any charity-help from anybody.

i am to call myself things like topaz once the giddy girth sloshes within a pictureframe's modest dimensions, and the sharks while snapping snapped alive by the implied sort of movement given only to starkly imperishable images that lighten you up at the art

show. well its time t-to start from the start and start a movement founded on a ginger ignorance of other movements. is i-t: is time to start from the beginning of focus way past bemused glance, ripe glare, teeth beside themselves w cavities of roe and garlic:

it’s time to inaccurately anticipate something, like we knew it was coming and wanted our surprise to look nice. anticipate the perfect slur, find a wide audience for that: it is, uh, time to enact maelstrom considerably, like, lofted above the saddest cloud's

drenching of itself: clouds they are clowns : be sure to recognize the hidden voice, what rattles us is not the mystery of how and logical wherefore but in transmuting some odd warfare of a distant crud's finding, that is - - - it is not what links but what is explained,

which for me is the distance crud, or clod, i call planet : am i a part of it or do i depart from its frequent accusings, importances, rudeness, and flat commodity, material, or just shattered booms hailing the demise of precept got so infrequent that one, less

righteous, is more thru the confessional of the lessness, a lesson : us, , rule, , : the sea like an antelope’s stride is, that is, like the picture purely between man, shark, and sea, of slopping sides over the frames of the picture: something by movement not volume,

by not expanse but a few flits of eye - big eye, - regardless of bigness it is, is and will be there for when the ranting stays, crucial delectable bizarre 'mischance of machinery' while the self goes further out, taken by the turning tides, and then yet this is a bit more

than mangling the heart by placing it on sleeve; this will always be here, distant, or like, remote!, yeh, better word!, you will disassociate whatever

from whatever, [edittttttttttt ttt ] from your blinding clarity [edit] : : you will take an eye out for the bossman cannot : since

wills black as char make the crud, clod, dusty clod, a piece of crud: "shouldn't be so hard to have a nice day." Mutter and grimace. wake up to totally remove yourself in the only way possible, that is, from the world of dreamstate: and piss dole me a new

self of yuck and maelstrom. PART III : : drying the die out of to play craps . or somethings like pinochle of life itself, shouted madman. made anterior who wants the soul who wants it made outside of use I see. something— / something digs for a very hinting it goes like something as must to stop,

as much to save the world as self by saving declamatoriations [!!!!!] declarations yeas, declaiming . / well go ahead and rue the ensuing bratty corps of lifer’s whom stake much on image / nada -rtiet- [edit] editwrite made something is^^^ within that words

them words something letters inverted salamander-language seen spanking new by breaking every rule, ruling over breaks like you had more time. / discovering the body, etc. and it all makes you want to imprint on the wise world some attmept, to do more

by removal of sense if sense is not snuffed out already by now in this senseless world, just going on and on!!!! to the creakiest hints shuffling under floorboards like captives from the bad!! quite the soul search. make more inklings, don't harry yourself, I say,

to discover a bunch of cool shit, also, uh, master it. master thinking in language. maybe i always never did nitpick and nitpick only yeup that is me I knit together the nits the nits are scratchiness, a scratchiness. then I think about how nice honesty is as re the slow

deliverance or rather sparing of us all by the most high / as by and by,, we grope for some bigger socket to launch a sensitivity of me I we errybody into, and me and ha and ha. ALERT. cannot diverge ALERT ALERT ALERT!!! Whoop show./Whopp whoop

whoop, can’t but take it down I wsiwiwsh i wish i was blind, i wish the rails weren’t so sharky : : so bloome [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] 5$%uh September 13, 2014. Leave a comment Edit POME34 there is language to report, a monster essence. hammer away

and believe till the growth gets funnier and then throw it away handsomely / feel it run like sand thurr rthru your thru thru you[edit]hrought your fineger.s ample tome, im ean time, to write, requite certain disposable nothings like a big random power/ mind goes

and glowers at itself again. ah you kno. broken triangle. anything broken becomes an angle or many. a ziggidy line or somesuch. / so break a whole, rift it to life as some ziggidy line. some sorta line that breathes with uncaring for anything like information

but retaineing formless form as if your occupation was with something else/ let relax the

strands in you ankel, let the angel fall my dear / dont deny it / yur a good person, dammit. all the se facile blunders. all this. these stupid years of making. in the making,

or just making, about too. etc. greqat. great magnificent quiet [edit] is that which i search for and make and build into the most complex geometric shape for good / only to rift it and - - make what people would holy-fy even more bettr than the more better it was /

bby oh how you go on concealing pleanty of plaintiveness. am i nice ?? so what if you are. youre a stara special star . . . yr starved, strande line you ssay you are a bulk of issues you say you dance like a man made

of things .. light as wing . dwindle. wind. light as wind. so much so much to destroy sitll. my eyes need more blurs t[edit] to in order make everything wrong rightwise. foreget aspbergers. or any label / speak pretty

mane’s ruffling sinousity in wind. / a bloke with flow / gnarly [edit] speak charlie stude the sirfur, charlie stud is he who rides the wave, rides wthe wave in /by just meeting

wit ha hello and a hahaha at ripe ombustive ripe combustiveness at / a large offense

#writing #poetry

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fansplaining · 7 years ago

Text

Transcript: Episode 72: Alternate Universes

(episode | show notes)

[Intro music: Awel by Stefsax]

Flourish Klink: Hi, Elizabeth!

Elizabeth Minkel: Hi, Flourish!

FK: And welcome to Fansplaining, the podcast by, for, and about fandom!

ELM:: This is Episode 72, "Alternate Universes."

FK: I'm excited about this because we have both been falling down an alternate universe rabbit hole, and we are inviting Morgan Leigh Davies to come and fall down that rabbit hole with us this time.

ELM: OK, first, Morgan. She is the cohost of Overinvested with Gavia Baker-Whitelaw, and she is a critic and a fanfiction writer, author of at least one very popular high school AU.

FK: True.

ELM:: So that's point one, and I'm very excited to talk to her about this. Point two, you've been falling down an AU rabbit hole? I didn't know this.

FK: It's mostly been you but you dragged me with you.

ELM: Oh! [laughs] I'm so proud!

FK: For people who haven't followed along Elizabeth ran into X-Men: First Class like a freight train.

ELM: No no no! It was last month, in the beginning of March, I had to fly first across the Atlantic and then across the country within 48 hours of each other. And I always try to do some work on the plane, but on the second one I was just like, fuck it, I'm watching as many movies as possible.

FK: Reasonable!

ELM: So I watched Finding Dory. Made me cry. Frozen, made me cry. Lego Batman movie. [FK laughs] Did not make me cry, but I enjoyed. So at this point I was telling my friend this and she was like "were the parental controls on? And did everyone around you think that you had a problem?" And then I watched X-Men: Days of Future Past, which I had not seen and I had only ever seen First Class also on a plane and only half-watched it and barely remembered it.

FK: And then it hit you like a freight train and then you fell down a rabbit hole and in the rabbit hole in addition to the rabbit was also a lot of AUs and then you dragged me down too.

ELM: You know, yes. [laughs]

FK: And so now...

ELM:: There is a disproportionate number of AUs in the X-Men. It's like the new franchise. Right? There is some acknowledgement of the 2000s movies, but it's a separate premise. And it seems to be a fairly dormant fandom, a stagnant fandom, because most of this was done 6-7 years ago. Right?

FK: Right. X-men is sort of fragmented into, I feel like it's people who care about the comics and the 2000s movies; there's a small number of people who care a LOT about Wolverine...I mean, they're not a small number, but anyway.

ELM: Yeah, a lot of people seem to care about him! But then yeah, there's a separate...it seems like kind of a separate fandom from people who are into X-Men as a concept. Or teens. It's not really about teens. Anyway, so for context, I think people know this who listen to this, I am not historically...have not really been an AU person. I love canon-divergent AUs. Right? Love them. But...

FK: You're all about them.

ELM: I think when I took our Tropes Survey, I think I said "no" to most of the AUs. And it was like, if you can really sell me on it, I would read a... I don't know. Actor AU, or a...whatever. I'm trying to think of some examples of ones on the list.

FK: Yeah, but you were not like, Oh yeah. AUs. I love 'em.

ELM: No, in fact I said I do not love them! I dislike them. Right?

FK: Yeah!

ELM: And I still feel this way for a bunch of the fandoms I've been in! I just, no. So when I initially looked at this I was like, oh, that's disappointing that they're all AUs. But then I started reading some of them. There are so many good stories! I really don't understand it! I'm so confused! Because I have read tons of AUs in the past. Just cause I dislike them, it's not like I dislike them sight unseen, you know? I'll be like, agh, this has nothing to do with the characters! Or, this is trivializing everything that was important about the original stories! Or whatever. And I don't feel this way at all right now, and it's very confusing to me.

FK: I hope that we can clear up some of that confusion. I...

ELM: You've been reading the stories I sent you!

FK: Yeah, and also because you've been having this crisis [ELM: laughs] I've been thinking more, because I have also written some extremely canon-divergent AUs, like I had this big project of incredibly canon-divergent Harry Potter, which is so far that it's almost not even a canon-divergent AU, right? Literally everything is different from the moment of Harry's birth, so...what happens at that point?

ELM: That's a canon divergent AU!

FK: It still is, but it's definitely very far away. And I've been thinking about all the other AUs I've liked, [silly voice] The AUs I've loved and left [ELM laughs] you know. So I'm really excited to talk about this. I don't think, until recently I don't think that I ever really thought of this as such a divisive or...I don't know. We've talked about AUs a bunch in the past but I've always taken it from the perspective of "yeah those jerks outside of fandom dissing coffeeshop AUs!" Whereas now I'm like "do they have a different role in fandom than other kinds of fic? Let's think about this!" So. Let's think about this!

ELM: Great, OK. So I'm excited to talk to Morgan. Who, by the way, also...Morgan has been my guide through X-Men AU.

FK: Like she's the Virgil to your Dante?

ELM: That's the most accurate and true.

FK: [laughing] Does this...I'm not Beatrice or something in this metaphor, am I? I can't be Beatrice! That's not how this works!

ELM: No, you're coming too! Sorry, you're comin' down. I don't know what to tell you.

FK: OK.

ELM: Yeah.

FK: Well, shall we call Morgan and enter the underworld?

ELM: Let's do it. Let's call Virgil.

[Interstitial music is by Jahzzar]

FK: OK! I think it's time to welcome Morgan to the podcast! Hello Morgan!

Morgan Leigh Davies: Hello!

ELM! Thank you for coming on. I'm really excited about this.

MLD: Very happy to be here!

ELM: OK before we talk about the most important topic ever, the alternate universe fanfiction, you should introduce yourself first, just so people know who you are.

MLD: My name is Morgan Leigh Davies, I am a writer and podcaster, I cohost a podcast Overinvested about pop culture with Gavia Baker Whitelaw, with whom Elizabeth also does a sort of fandom newsletter every week. So that is why I am here. To talk about fanfiction.

FK: In order to close this circle, Morgan, you realize that you and I have to have a project together and then...

ELM: It's true.

MLD: To truly incestuously make this happen. People frequently will tweet at me about The Rec Center, which is your newsletter...

FK: Happens to me all the time also!

MLD: I don't do this! But thank you! [laughing]

ELM: Do people also think that the Rec Center is a project of your podcast? Cause people...

MLD: No.

ELM: People think that it is, which makes more sense with us because it's about fandom. The podcast is as well, right. But they'll be like "on the Fansplaining newsletter..." and I'll be like "No!"

MLD: No, I don't think so, I think they just get confused because I think in their heads Gav and I are, like, two extensions of one person because they listen to the podcast and so we're very intimately connected in their brains.

FK: See, whereas I feel like people think that Gav and I are the same person somehow even though she's literally been on the podcast with me and Elizabeth and we're nothing alike, but...

ELM: It's fine, it's fine. I hope this is setting the record straight for everyone.

FK: Alright alright already. AUs though. I'm really excited to hear what you have to say about them, because I think you're the one among us three who's actually written a significant AU story in addition to reading them copiously.

MLD: I have, I did, I wrote one called "Middletown" in the Captain America: Winter Soldier fandom four years ago. Which is terrifying. And it was I think it's safe to say very popular, and it was an interesting experience because I wrote it because I hate high school AUs and it was a high school AU. And so I suspect it was a slightly different exercise than when most people set out to do this, although perhaps I'm wrong? But it was kind of like an anti, sort of anti-AU AU writing experience. Although I think a lot of my fanfiction writing, which I haven't been doing recently, tends to be kind of reacting against things in fandom as opposed to embracing them. I suppose I'm a contrarian. [all laugh]

ELM: OK wait. I also hate high school AUs. Flourish, I don't know how you feel about them.

FK: Mostly not great.

ELM: I'm curious to know Morgan why you hated them and what was the subversion happening, and I don't want this to sound like you wrote a fancy subversive one and all the other ones are garbage. I think that...

FK: I feel certain that there are things to like about high school AUs!

ELM: Something about the trope just doesn't work for me.

MLD: I mean I have not read all of them. I'm sure there are other good ones out there. The ones that I have read in the past, not in many years, some of them I enjoyed, many of them I did not. The one I wrote sprang out of conversations I was having at the time with gyzym, Kady Morrison, who I was working on something with then and we kind of just were having this ridiculous chat conversation about "what if all the Captain America characters were in this ridiculous high school?" but she also is not a huge fan of high school AUs, as I recall it, from those conversations, and the thing that always really bothered me about them was that the characters never acted like they were actual teenagers, and then at the end of the story everything was really great and the romance was resolved and it was perfect.

Whereas most people do not wind up married to their high school girlfriend or boyfriend. That's not how it works.

ELM: I don't know if you've read Harry Potter but I thought that's what happens actually always! So...

MLD: [laughing] Right. So it was just kind of the falsity of those narratives, which I get can be comforting to some people and if that's what you want that's fine but it's not appealing to me particularly, so the high school AU that I wrote really heavily features zits and body odor and teenagers acting like real assholes, in an unpleasant way. And when I was writing it, I thought that only adults would like it, because it's kind of...very lovingly rude to teenagers. In a way, it literally explicitly says "teenagers are dumb," which they are, and I say that totally lovingly, teenagers are amazing but they're also idiots, I was completely stupid at age sixteen, it's fine.

It was really interesting seeing the reaction to that once I'd put it up, because the people who responded the most intensely were obviously teenagers who were like "this is my life! Oh my God!" and I was very moved by this. But I was thinking about this topic before we started recording, and the sort of different fandoms I've been really deep into at various times and the ways I've engaged with fanfiction around them because you, Elizabeth, have been reading all this X-men fanfic and we've talked about it a little bit and the last fandom I think I was really crazy into in an insane way was Captain America several years ago, and I read a lot of fanfiction and I don't think I read almost any AUs, despite writing one myself, and I don't think I was very interested in them, and I was thinking about what made that not appealing to me in that context vs. X-Men, which is the AU heaven?

FK: It's interesting to me because I also said I didn't like high school AUs but I think that for me the reason I don't like them is I don't want to go back to high school. Nothing was good there. And I also don't have a strong positive feeling about the tropes of high school...I mean, who doesn't like, whatever, Rock N' Roll High School or Mean Girls or whatever. but...

ELM: I've never even heard of the first thing you said.

FK: Rock N' Roll High School, the greatest high school movie ever made?

ELM: Morgan, do you know this? I don't know this.

FK: I'm gonna make you watch this.

ELM: You said this in the same breath as Mean Girls, which is a masterpiece.

FK: This is so good.

ELM: Better than Mean Girls?!

FK: In a very different way.

ELM: OK.

FK: It's about fandom, too!

ELM: OK now I'm scared of this.

FK: It's about a girl who is a fan of a band and brings them to her high school.

ELM: OK?

FK: It's great! Anyway, I don't have a super super positive...that's not a trope that I love, and also I think it's really hard to translate characters into high school in a way that feels real or that it's saying something important to me. Do you know what I mean? There's some tropes where I'm like, "yeah, haha, it's not really saying anything that he's a duke now..." [everyone cracks up] "...and this is Regency England, but I fuckin' love Regency England, so I'm gonna go and enjoy this." Almost always there's no deeper meaning there, but it's a trope that I love, so who cares?

But in order to bring someone along into an AU space that's not already that, I feel like I want to get something...I want it to have meaning that they've been put into an AU. I want it to uncover something about the characters for me. I don't know.

ELM: That's funny, cause you're saying...and I think it's interesting, Morgan's saying she doesn't like high school AUs because they don't act like teens, and I agree with...not that there's any opposition here. I feel the same way as Flourish, in that when I've read them I've found that they also don't feel likethe characters. So then what are they? You slapped some names on the cast of Saved by the Bell? [laughing] I'm trying to think of a high school show. 90210? These are two absurd examples.

FK: Dawson's Creek...?

ELM: Did they act like teens? I don't think so!

MLD: Most shows about teenagers do not feature characters who remotely resemble teenagers, for instance, I have never seen an episode of Riverdale but everything I see from Riverdale I'm just like what is happening?! Who are these people?! I feel so old watching it. I'm just like, this is a culture that is beyond me and yet despite me feeling old watching it it's not that this is what the teens act like now, it's clearly [laughing] there's just, this is an alien thing that no human has ever behaved in this way at all, right? I feel like teen shows tend to be like that. They're just not of this world, and I think that AUs are kind of like that too, although in a different way. And that's not appealing to me, because even if really good AUs where the characters are kind of just original characters but written really well, sometimes I can enjoy that, but if they're just nonsense in whatever the specific genre is...I don't care.

FK: I guess that regardless of how the characters are written, and how much relationship they have to canon or not, I feel like if you're not interested in the location they're put in...I also don't want to read a college AU because college to me is neither aspirational nor a rosy time to look back on and dream about. Maybe someday it will be.

ELM: Wait, pause, do you feel like...have you guys read many college AUs? I've read some. College AUs to me always seem to be just about dorms, and...has this been everyone else's experience, or have you not read many of them?

MLD: I have only read a few. I feel like there are way more, at least recently - in quotes, "recently" - grad school fics and that is because more people writing fanfic [laughter] today are graduate students! And I can appreciate a grad school fanfiction. That's fine. College, no thank you, I do not need this. And I went to school in New York City so my experience was very different from the big state school or small liberal arts college type, "you're in the middle of nowhere and theres a dorm."

ELM: Dorms and quads. I just feel like there's a lot of dorms in these.

FK: What I wanna know is why do we stop at grad school? Why don't we have some college professor AUs where people are really getting into it with the conflict, some people have tenure, you're stuck with each other forever, you've got some pretty high stakes in this situation!

ELM: Flourish, I don't know if you're aware that in 95% of all X-men AUs Charles Xavier is still a professor.

FK: Well that's true. [all laughing]

ELM: They literally never, ever can give him a different job. It's extraordinary to me. Sure. Professor. Of the same subject.

FK: But they don't really get into, like, him fighting with someone over tenure cases in my experence.

ELM: Sometimes!

FK: Really?

ELM: Well, not over tenure. He always has tenure.

FK: Over other people's tenure cases!

MLD: I also have an answer for this: it's because the people writing fanfiction are graduate students. [all laugh]

FK: In graduate school did you not put your professors under even more of a magnifying glass to try and figure out the politics? I feel like I was way more invested in departmental politics as a grad student.

ELM: Is this cause you ended up marrying your professor?

FK: Well, that is how it ended. [all laughing]

MLD: I was totally fascinated by all my professors during my master's but that particular kind of thing was not so interesting to me and it was not the kind of thing that we had access to. You do get more access as a grad student, but...

ELM: Also in the UK, both Morgan and I went to grad school in the UK, and the system is quite different and so my grad school professors...I don't think any of them were full professors. You can have been teaching for 20 years and not have the title "professor."

FK: Yeah it's a much bigger deal which is fun when you go to the UK with someone who's a full professor here, like my husband, and then he gets treated really nicely.

ELM: They just handed it to him! To be fair he has been a professor for a long time at this point.

FK: That's true thank you.

ELM: Yeah. [all laughing] Now I'm calling him old.

FK: Good thing he doesn't listen to this podcast.

ELM:: He does not listen to it! Don't worry. OK. So do you guys, Morgan, you brought this up, you feel like in some fandoms you do it some fandoms you don't. Prior to dying and going to Hell and only reading X-men fic [all laughing] it's more of a purgatory right now. I was personally staunchly, who cares if other people do it, but personally I was like "oh I don't read stuff like that. I don't read X is a blank and Y is a blank." Or here's this scenario. And now I cannot stop and I'm worried about myself. and I'm wondering if it's...I don't know. I'm wondering about those as texts, working across fandoms or within fandoms or that kind of thing. Those are the questions I have about that.

MLD:: I was trying to think about these general topics before we started recording and I think the way I tend to read AUs is that I run through all the good canon fic in a fandom and reject the AUs and then when I get really desperate I start reading the AUs [laughing] And some of them are really good! But at first I'm like "ugh, I don't want to read that!" [grouchy noises] And then in some fandoms I just can't do it, it just will not click in my brain, but it tends to be a step...a last resort thing.

And for some reason, X-men, there's...I don't know what it is, there's a property that it has that is...the AU is actually the preferred object for me. [laughter] The platonic ideal of the X-men fic is not a canon fic, it is a ridiculous AU.

FK: But I think this actually may relate to stakes and ethics, though, because I too have this thing...I love One Direction and 99% of all One Direction fanfic is AUs and I cannot read them. I just can't. I can't do it. Don't make me. I know they're great. I know. I've been recommended all of them. [all laughs]

But. When I'm reading Reylo fanfic, like you, the preferred version of Reylo fanfic is definitely an AU for me. I'm like yeah, obviously they are both rising music stars in the late 90s. Why... [all laughing] It's a great story by the way I will put it in the show notes. It's really good.

ELM:: What kind of music stars I need to know!!!

FK: He was a really good...he had an album of folk, but it was all stolen from his grandfather's, things his grandfather had written and he never told anybody, and then he got snookered into making a deal with Snoke and had to become the front man of this awful Linkin Park like band, which is miserable, and she is a folk singer-songwriter like Jewel sort of, and there's a lot of butterfly hair clips. And it made me so nostalgic. [all laughing]

ELM:: OH MAN.

FK: The point I was trying to make was, I think there's something in both of these cases where you've got these weird messed up ethical situations and it's sort of easier to just enjoy a story when no one's killing anybody, you know?

MLD:: Here's my response to that: I also enjoy the Reylo dynamic in the Star Wars films [all continuing to chuckle] but I absolutely cannot read AU fics because the whole point is that it's bad and AU fic would make me feel gross. Sorry! Because if you have to acknowledge the badness... I have not found almost any good fic period because it's just very hard to do, right? The whole dynamic is just very complicated.

FK: Yeah, it is.

MLD:: Whereas X-men also has this complicated ethical stuff, but in the X-men films, it is treated so nonsensically [all laugh] that it just doesn't matter! The basic tone of those movies is just garbage. So you can write whatever the fuck you want! There are some fics that treat stuff seriously, with much more weight than the actual movies do, that do a really good job of it, and then there are some AUs that are just so dumb but in a smart way that are also really fun. But I think again the tone of those films is just...this is so absurd that you can kind of get away with doing anything, and I think that that's why I like all those AUs so much. You have these two characters who are really really compelling, the queerbaiting is so through the roof that you're dying to read SOMETHING.

ELM:: It's shocking, honestly.

MLD:: So whatever! It's fine. Whereas I think the Star Wars stuff for me, I don't think those movies are perfect but the pathos of the stuff in them seems more real to me than X-men which is just like "BLEAH! Whatever! I guess Magneto blew up a city or something this time! Whatever, he's gonna be back, it's fine." [all laughing]

ELM:: He always comes back, don't worry about it!

MLD:: Exactly! It feels fake.

FK: I don't disagree with you...I think that the reason that I like AUs in the Reylo space is because they consciously are like "nope, we're not dealing with that! We're not even gonna try to deal with the question of is he or is he not... he didn't kill anyone in this universe! He maybe ruined a couple of musical careers, but whatever it's fine! We're just gonna live with it." You know what I mean? It sounds like whereas with X-men it never mattered in the first place, so.

ELM:: Yeah, I mean, you can treat it seriously. Like you said, there's definitely some fics that take it much more seriously than others. I read the Quicksilver fic, by the way. The Septembriseur fic. It made me cry.

MLD:: This is a good friend of mine who wrote one about Quicksilver and it is a genuine work of art.

ELM:: It's a work of art.

MLD:: Seriously deals with trauma...she's the best writer I know. In any genre, anything. She's so gifted. You read that and you're like, this is both a piece of fiction craft-wise genius, but also all the emotional stuff is so deep and affecting and then you can just go read for instance the X-men fic that I wrote which is none of those things!

ELM:: Morgan, I love your fic so much!

MLD:: I'm very proud of it, and it's perfectly well written, it's fine, but in terms of the deep emotional stakes? Not so much!

FK: I have not read your X-men fic so I cannot speak to this.

ELM:: You should read it immediately afterwards. It's a delight. Genuine delight.

FK: OK. I will read it.

ELM:: I read it before I knew, I did not realize who had written it because it was very highly rated on the AO3. I'm not biased.

FK: I was away, this is following on from something aways back in the conversation, you're gonna have to forgive me. Your point that you can treat it seriously is true. One of the fics you recced me that I hadn't read before, I think you recced it as "they're dicking around in Amsterdam being dicks"?

ELM:: Douchebags, douchebags.

FK: Douchebags, not dicks.

ELM:: Morgan recommended this to me so that's a passed-along rec.

FK: What's the title of it?

ELM:: It's called "i guess i should say thanks or some shit." And the author, I think we know the author but it's been orphaned on the AO3, so it's by no one.

FK: It's orphaned, so it's by orphaned.

ELM:: Anonymous genius.

FK: Anonymous genius. So this story is, you know, Charles and Erik have their powers and they're bumping around Amsterdam being douchebags, but there's no killing of people, there's no Holocaust backstory it's strongly implied, I think, although I only read it once so...

ELM:: No, it's set in the relatively recent...

FK: Right! It's set recently.

ELM:: There's no Holocaust.

FK: I didn't think so, I was trying... oh, you're right, they have cell phones. So it's set recently. Whatever. So all the stuff that's super super super high stakes is gone, but they're still talking about reading people's minds and stealing bikes and ethical questions about having powers.

ELM:: The classical ethical question: Should you steal a bike?

MLD:: If you can and no one will catch you... [all laugh]

FK: So it treats telepathy very seriously in a way that literally nothing in X-men ever has in canon!

MLD:: That's one of my favorite fics ever in any canon, I've read it so many times, I love it so much! And I think what you're saying is totally right about it dealing with these questions in an interesting way, and I also think that what makes it so good is that it does not present either Charles or Erik as a remotely appealing person.

ELM:: Yes, which is canonical!

MLD:: They are just awful, in a way - exactly. In a way that's really fun to read about! They're very entertaining, and it's not like you hate them anything, cause obviously then why would you want to read this romance story about them? But they're both plainly just dreadful people. And that to me is so much more enjoyable as just writing period, as a general statement, than a story that tries to make the characters really good. Obviously it's, you can write fiction about good people that's also really compelling, that's fine, but I just read something I'm not going to say what it is that definitely did the thing where it's sort of like, "this person believes in all the right social justice stuff!" and I was like "this is boring to me." That can sort of weigh on a story after awhile, whereas this one in particular was just like, no. [all laugh] They're just assholes!

FK: I think part of that has to do wtih the changing of the stakes. I think it can be really tempting, if you're in a super super super hyper dramatic situation, like, OK, we have to have a hero in here, someone's blowing up a city! I read a lot of post-apocalyptic books just because I like the setting and almost always there's a man and he's the embodiment of American manhood and he's doing all the right things. [everyone laughs] I'm like OK great. And depending on what someone's political views are the embodiment of American manhood could be a lot of different things. Sometimes he's an antiracist, sometimes he's a gun nut! Depends who's writing it!

ELM:: Flourish, what books are you reading?! I didn't know about this secret love of yours!

FK: I just like postapocalyptic stories!

ELM:: Starring American men. Continue.

FK: I had actually never read Stephen King's The Stand because it's 10 million long but I have an Audible account now so I was like "let's maximize my Audible account," so obviously I got The Stand, because it's really long and I pay as much for it as I do for a short book. And every character in that so far is miserable. I'm like, I hate you all, this is glorious, Stephen King you did a good thing! But it's hard because you can see there's these moments in the story you want the person to be a hero, because the stakes are so high, like, surely this is gonna be the moment! ...no. But I think that in AUs it's like that. If the stakes are really high you're like "make him a hero."

ELM:: Not necessarily. If we bring it back to...I love that we're extensively discussing one fanfiction that everyone should pause and go read it and then you'll know what we're talking about [all laughing] but I also feel like the moral grey areas that both of those characters can occupy even in canonical situations or high stakes canonical-ish situations where there's some sort of supervillain or whatever, obviously they're still going to be occupying those moral grey spaces and they are both kind of douchebags always. But when they are saving the world, it's not necessarily that you get a pass, it's just that it's a little less stark I feel like. Whereas an AU can kind of strip that away and give you more space to sit with that ambiguity in a way that...I don't know. This is how I feel about a lot of blockbustery stuff too. It doesn't really give you that space and that's one thing I think fanfiction does. Maybe not always just AUs. Obviously lots of fanfiction does this.

FK: You mean, like, you're watching a two hour movie and it's like blam blam blam we have this story and it's action-packed and then OK, I didn't have any time to think about whether it was a good idea to do that or not...right? Is that it?

ELM:: I don't know, can you think of any...even Black Panther which I really liked, I don't think had enough time to sit with the complex moral questions they were asking. I think they did a better job than a lot of other big blockbustery superhero movies but I still feel like they had to go relatively quickly.

MLD:: I think a lot of that is also just a function of being a film versus...

ELM:: Being a hundred thousand word fanfiction?

MLD:: Or a novel or whatever. I think Black Panther was really incredible, I don't think it was the most politically deep movie I had ever seen in my life... this is very off topic. But it's a movie made directly for children. So that's fine. But I think something like X-men, as I was saying, you watch the movies and they're nonsense with occasional moments of "oh that could be interesting if they actually did something with it," and that's what all the fanfic does, is mine those occasional moments of potential insight. [laughing] For hundreds of thousands of words! Which is great.

ELM:: But then what's that distance when it's just brought over into an AU?

MLD:: Well, that's the question and I think that's why I tend to avoid reading them until I'm so desperate that I [laughing] can't get away from it. With X-men as we were just saying there is something bizarrely compelling about all of them that I don't even know that I have the full answer except what I was proposing. And in other fandoms it gets interesting cause I think there can be a tendency to write generic romance novels about white men under the auspices of a fandom which is risky.

ELM:: This is something that I actually kinda wanna dig into and I'm wondering if we should take a break, cause we're kind of at a halfway point, and pick up from there.

FK: Sounds good, let's do it.

[Interstitial music by Jahzzar]

FK: OK, we're back, and we're gonna talk a little bit about Any Two Guys stories, because this is an important question in the world of AUs. For those of you who don't read a lot of fanfic, of which I think there are some, Any Two Guys stories are stories that could be about any two guys! Not just the people you're supposedly in the fandom for.

ELM:: So this is a long time criticism of slash fandom in general, not just with AUs, right? The dark haired man and the light haired man. [all laugh] The taller man and the shorter man.

FK: The older man and the younger man.

ELM:: It's true! [MLD: hooting]

MLD:: We could go on and on!

ELM:: I will admit, this is one of the reasons I've always had a low key bias against this kind of AU. This is not the first time that I've read AUs, obviously, but it's just like...when you hit a point not too far in where you're like "this has nothing to do with the characters, you've just slapped their names on it," that's the point where I get to feel a little resentful, and I don't know if that's fair, because I kind of feel like there's plenty of people who know...it's deliberate. It's not like they think they're doing some deep read on the original characters; they're just telling a story. But then it's like, what am I reading? I'm just reading a story starring the actors of the canon [laughing], the namesakes of these two characters. All right.

FK: I feel like one question is, what is fanfic for? Because part of fanfic is for interrogating the original text, obviously, but part of fanfic is also sometimes about desire or emotional... when I say desire I don't mean just lust. I mean also emotional engagement in fantasy people, who may or may not be the characters in the story. The characters in the story might be the starting point for those fantasy people, but let's be real, my headcanon of Scully is definitely not canon Scully. She's just not. She's better. [laughs] I wonder sometimes whether "any two guys" stories are also about the stuff that people bring to reading it, as much as they are...it's more like, here is a story that could be just a gay romance novel, but I know that you're going to paratextually bring this stuff to it, and therefore it's different than if you were reading it just as a romance novel.

MLD:: Well, obviously this stuff gets written in the groupthink of a fandom. Usually. Some people write things...

ELM:: I love what I would call "intertextuality" you just called "groupthink." It's really good. [all laugh]

MLD:: That is the way I think about fandom! It's all groupthink. I wrote quite a bit by my standards of Captain America fanfic, I think more than for any other fandom, and that was definitely the most clearcut experience I have had of fandom groupthink in the sense that...

ELM:: Engaging as fanon as much as canon.

MLD:: Right. There were certain trends that would happen and then I would push back against certain things in my writing, but it wasn't just me, you could sense that there would be this push back against something and then something else would come up and it was...I think that happens in most fandoms once you get to a certain size, but it was the most clearcut and visible to me in that one, which was really interesting to observe, and I think I conceptualized it most clearly in that. I was like "oh, everyone is putting their brains into the same space and stuff is coming out." Which was really fun, even if some of the stuff coming out I found very aggravating [laughing] A lot of the appeal of writing this stuff was that experience of knowing that everyone that was going to read your thing would be informed by all the other stuff that they were writing.

Which is kind of interesting for me to think now, cause I still get comments on some of that stuff, obviously sporadically, and I know that people coming to it now if they're coming to it cold are having a very different experience. Which is fine, it's just not the same thing. So if you're writing a two guys AU in that context, obviously it is a different thing. But for me that's still not massively appealing because it strays away from the questions that were appealing to me. For instance, in the Captain America stuff, which tended to have to do at some point with canon even if they had spiraled out to fanon stuff that we'd all made up and agreed upon collectively, even though it...you know? I'm rambling at this point but I think you get what I mean.

ELM:: That makes total sense.

FK: What you just said makes complete sense, and it's interesting to me when I think of an AU that I really love that many people really love, "The Student Prince," which is a Merlin AU, but I hate Merlin. I watched the first episode [over laughter] and I turned it off in anger because what did you do.

ELM:: Wait, you've only seen one episode?

FK: Yeah, I hate it!

ELM:: That's the foundation of your hatred?

FK: It was not good. I couldn't. It was like a Did Not Finish book. Sometimes you get into a book and you're like, Did Not Finish. Exactly like that. I settled in planning on watching all of it because I liked some of the fic, and no. But it's also a Kate and Wills AU...

ELM:: Because it's set at St. Andrews, right?

FK: So I was coming at it as the Kate and Wills AU that happens to have gay Merlin and Arthur in it [all cackle] and everyone else who read that I'm pretty sure was coming at it from the Merlin AU that happens to be about royals, and now it makes so much more sense to me the things that I liked and cared about in that fic were very different!

ELM:: It's really good. But do you think that people were coming into it because of Merlin? That story was in the Rec Center last week, and probably not for the first time, and when I looked and checked the link, that has half a million hits on AO3.

FK: I don't think all those people watched Merlin.

ELM:: I don't think those are all Merlin fans. Obviously it's a relatively popular fandom but still. What a compelling concept!

MLD:: This is interesting too though is the phenomenon of people reading AUs when they aren't familiar with the source material at all, which people definitely do and I've had people send me things and be like "this is so amazing, it doesn't matter that you haven't seen the thing, it's an AU, it's so good," and I just can't bring myself to do it. I just...it doesn't. I'm sure they're right, but I just can't, I don't care.

FK: For whatever reason people do this with me for SGA all the time, Stargate Atlantis, and I have seen more SGA than Merlin but somehow it just doesn't, I can't, no.

ELM:: But I feel like there are a lot of people for whom that works, right?

FK: Yeah, well, obviously it works for me for some things, because I read the Merlin fic! [all laugh]

ELM:: So why does it work for you for some things and not others? It needs to push your buttons in some other way then. Apparently it needs to be about dukes or princes or something, cause you're a total monarchist.

FK: Monarchist all the way down. Well, I think also with Merlin it helps because it is itself based on something. I think that if I had never seen Sherlock, but I had read Sherlock Holmes, I could probably read some Sherlock fanfic and be like "OK! This is just an AU of an AU, fine. We're moving on."

ELM:: So, but, is that a problem? This isn't meant to be a referendum on any one given fic.

FK: Can I just say we have managed to go this entire time without mentioning Fifty Shades of Grey and I'm really proud of us but I had to break the streak?

MLD:: That literally did not enter my mind.

ELM:: I never think about Fifty Shades of Grey.

FK: That's because you guys are slash only and I'm draggin' the het in here!

ELM:: It's true.

MLD:: I have definitely read and written het fanfic! [all laugh]

ELM:: Oh wow!

MLD:: BUT FIFTY SHADES OF GREY IS NOT ON MY RADAR IN ANY CAPACITY AT ALL!

FK: Well, I feel like Twilight was one of the earliest fandoms that was mostly AU fic, though. I mean, I would propose that. I don't think I ever saw a fandom that was mostly AU fanfic before Twilight. I did read Twilight fic, by the way, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm not a huge Twilight fan, but it was everywhere.

ELM:: You wrote your master's thesis on Twilight, I think you're a huge fan.

FK: No...I didn't write it on Twilight, I wrote it on Twilight fans.

ELM:: Wasn't it also Twilight anti-fans?

FK: Yeah. Twilight anti-fans. [all laugh]

ELM:: Sorry. I twisted that deliberately. I apologies.

FK: In an ONTD community called ONTD_Twatlight. But anyway.

ELM:: I'm glad that MIT gave you a degree for that. Delightful. Really good. Yeah, I mean, if you wanna talk about Fifty Shades we can, I was gonna talk about whether Any Two Guys is problematic.

MLD:: [laughing] Two roads diverge, et cetera, et cetera.

FK: This is how our roads ALWAYS diverge. Elizabeth is like, "but is it problematic?" and I'm like "but did it make a lot of money?"

ELM:: Those are the questions?! Are those the questions right now?

FK: Not really the question! Well, it is a little bit the question though. This is a little related. Is Any Two Guys problematic, but also don't Any Two Guys fics where you file off the serial numbers lead us into that monetization of fandom question.

ELM:: That is a connection you can make between those two things. But I don't know if that's the problematic element of it. I think that the problems there are this kind of idea of it beyond fanfiction, slotting in and out of all the issues that surround slash. Whether it's systemic bias and racism or fetishization or etc etc. I think all of that comes into focus when you have this idea that all you need to do is slap two names onto a male/male romance and then people will say "fine with me!" You know? Isn't that just a full expression of all of those issues?

FK: But why is that much different than...I think there are many het romance fics, like Fifty Shades, where it could be any two people. Is it different, materially, from that? I know it is because there's issues around male/male romance, but...

ELM:: So then any two man and woman... [laughing] I don't know what the phrase would be.

FK: Any two hets?

ELM:: Any two hets! Any two straights. Well, we don't know if they're straight or het, that's true. I was trying to go with just their sex to start. Is that a space of diversity? Or do you often find the same sorts of bodies being interchanged? Slapping the same sorts of names onto the same two man and woman? Same single man and single woman. [laughing] Same two men and women would be much more fun. Quads all over. Do we call them quads?

MLD:: This is just taking a turn!

FK: Doesn't this get us back to the fact that...I think it is, and I think one of the ways we know that is looking at Sleepy Hollow, with an African American female lead and the fights people had about allowing her to have romance, right? And right now in the het romance world there's a huge, huge, huge racism fight going on. For people who don't follow this world, historically lines of romance novels have been segregated, yes segregated like it is the Jim Crow south because people are disgusting and this has continued to exist into literally 2000. Sometimes literally today!

ELM:: Wasn't the recent controversy because someone had crunched the numbers because one of the big prizes in the romance world, was it no black characters?

FK: I believe it was writer but that was only one...there was a thing about the RITAs, which there's multiple categories and there have been multiple characters nominated in different categories...but...weirdly? If I recall correctly? Which probably I don't because I'm not looking at the thing right now and there were so many issues that got wrapped up in each other too. This year there was a woman who was nominated for prizes and got...she was black and got no support at all from her publisher whereas all the white authors did. Very blatant racism going on throughout this.

So I'm just saying, I think it's broader than a slash issue. For once it's not just the slashers! It's everyone! We're all horrible racists!

ELM:: Sorry, I always claim slash first. You know. Trying to claim responsibility.

FK: Any Two Guys, people also have a term for that and people don't use that term for het romance. I'm not sure why.

MLD:: Maybe it's just that there's something very obvious about it when there's two men and it's the same!

ELM:: The dark haired one and the light haired one. [all laugh]

MLD:: It becomes very clear in a way where maybe it's also the tradition of het romance looking like that has gone on for a very very very long time. Whereas male/male romance being a thing in this thing is obviously quite recent. So there's probably...I'm completely thinking out loud right now! But there's probably more discourse like this because it's being invented in this way over the past many years in real time and we're seeing it.

FK: That makes perfect sense. When I think about it, there's all these terms in the romance space, not necessarily in the fanfic space. He's another alpha hero, he's another...there's all these terms for categories of types of characters, stock characters.

ELM:: Tell me some more of the romance words. Alpha hero?

FK: Yeah! If he's an alpha, he's masterful! He's commanding! And many people don't like him because he tends to kiss you against your will! [all chortle]

ELM:: He sounds very problematic!

FK: It's slightly dubcony but it's okay! [all still laughing] And this is a type! You read romance and you're like, yup, that dude. There he is. People subvert it, most of the time people subvert it now, it's not super popular. But it's a thing, there's all these tropes. I guess you're right. I don't know enough about the male/male romance space but I assume they're developing but it's a larger portion of the market.

MLD:: Also there's academic books I was using in grad school last year tying the het romance novels to Jane Austen and the entire history of romance as a genre. This is not something romance publishers made up in the 50s or 60s or whatever. This has gone on for a long time in the Western world with white people. Almost always been the leads in those stories. It's the cultural default mode, obviously, which of course people are now discussing aggressively a lot. But there's a lot of ground to make up from the early decades of the last millennium, right? [laughing]

ELM:: Whereas I think in slash also if you think about it in a sort of shortened time frame, and I just want to clarify that I think that there's obviously a lot of robust discourse in the male/male romance original, and some of it crosses over but some of it doesn't. And I think this Any Two Guys thing is specifically a fandom thing. This is specifically about AUs and shipping. AUs and shipping, two separate things intersecting. I don't wanna go too far into this.

FK: Well, I guess that is different, because...maybe it is to do also with queerphobia to some degree because I think there is an assumption that people who are shipping are interested in finding the ship, and they go looking for it, as opposed to "these two characters just seemed like they had..." I think people get very cynical about slashers in a way they're not as cynical about het shippers.

ELM:: That's interesting, wait, I wanna know more about this. Tell me.

FK: Maybe because het romance is so frequently canonical, or possibly canonical, or understood as potentially canonical.

ELM:: And the idea that there's a guy and a girl in this moviea nd they're probably going to get together, that kind of thing?

FK: Yeah, and I think that then there's not an assumption... "oh, you just went to this to find an object to cling to." No, of course, everybody does that. If it's het, it's assumed you're going to go find it, whereas slashers, you're just looking for something. You're reading too far into it and you're doing it for your own tastes, not for what's in the work.

ELM:: Hm. I love that you say "slashers." It makes me feel really old school. [MLD: laughs]

FK: Well, what else? "slash readers"? "people who enjoy male/male romance in fandom"?

ELM:: As you know, the kids don't use the term slash anymore! Yeah. Those relationshippers. That's right. On Wattpad they don't know those words.

MLD:: We're just all very old.

FK: They definitely know those words on Wattpad cause they also say "don't like don't read" as though it's nineteen ninety fuckin' nine!

ELM:: They say that? That's incredible! Those kids. Teens! Who are dumb. I'm glad we established that. I always try to support teens, but you're right, teens are dumb.

FK: I too did those things.

ELM:: Did anyone not?

FK: Everyone did. We all passed through this period of time.

ELM:: Dumb things you did. It's OK. I do dumb things now too, it's fine. We just do different some things.

MLD:: Exactly. Sort of aged into a new thing.

FK: I think we're going to have to wrap up fairly soon but before we do, we have talked almost not at all about canon divergent AUs or fusions or anything like that, so maybe we should [laughing] talk about that a little bit, guys?

ELM:: Canon divergent AUs, my favorite, actually one of my favorite things literally in all of fanfiction. Ironically, after disparaging the other kind for so long.

MLD:: Right, I love them. And I love fusion fics depending on what the fandom is so that's interesting.

ELM:: OK define fusion fic.

MLD:: The one that immediately springs to mind is His Dark Materials.

ELM:: OK. You know I've read a bunch of those about... daemon? You say dee-mon AUs? And I haven't read His Dark Materials. Very confusing to me.

FK: You would be really into His Dark Materials and should probably read it. I don't know if you'd love the writing but there's a lot of things in it...

MLD:: That shocks me.

FK: ...that I feel like you would be into. You should.

ELM:: My friend gave me his old copies because he works at Scholastic and so he got the new ones, just a few months ago, and they're on my shelf, I'm literally looking at them. The one thing that concerns me is I don't know if I wanna read novels with the perspective of smug atheism, and that's how they've been described to me, so you can disabuse me of this impression.

FK: I did not find them that bad. He is that bad, but I did not find them that bad.

ELM:: Great!

MLD:: I don't feel that they read that way, but.

ELM:: Great! That's two. Alright.

FK: He is that bad but I don't think these novels are that bad.

ELM:: Actually I just heard him on the radio recently and it seems like he's not that bad anymore.

FK: Well, he went through a period.

ELM:: He said he's come to see that you can be dogmatic about anything, even non-belief, and I was like good. Call Richard Dawkins, he must know.

MLD:: He was extremely charming at the reading I went to when I was nine years old. He was very nice to all of us and very funny. So I am a partisan. Those were my favorite books when I was nine, so.

FK: It's funny that you say this though because to me fusion fics are almost like the other kind of AU. It's almost like, great, you found another setting, another thing to fuse into this. It's almost like a setting. But canon divergence is different, because it's almost like you've got all fanfic on a spectrum from "this is mildly canon divergent because it happens in the future, we don't have next season so we're writing it now," to the very canon divergent, Sirius didn't go to...

ELM:: Where you make a very deliberate turn.

FK: Sirius didn't go to prison and therefore everything in the Harry Potter books is different, and everything is really different.

ELM:: A literal turn. Maybe he turned in the opposite direction and that was the butterfly, you know? There's definitely stories like that. [all laugh]

FK: Absolutely. But they're all on this spectrum. All fanfic is canon divergent at some point, and is therefore kind of AU, even if it's just a fill in fic.

ELM:: You wouldn't want fic if it wasn't canon divergent. But I think the difference is usually if it says it's canon divergent, that usually means it's that kind of deliberate choice. Right? So...or alternate meetings, or fix-its, or any of these things. This is some of my favorite stuff about fanfiction!

FK: It seems to me almost like the canon divergent, when it's being chosen intentionally, plays a similar role to the kind of AU when you put them in a different situation so there can be heightened or lowered stakes, so you're almost revealing something about canon by changing something in it, right? If I change this one thing in canon, we see how much else changed.

ELM:: I don't think it necessarily lowers stakes...

FK: Oh I didn't mean that, I just meant lowering the stakes can be one way to...it's almost like changing one thing in canon. If you lower the stakes, you're changing one thing about canon and keeping everything else the same and you see something more clearly, right?

ELM:: Hmm. Hmmmmm.

FK: If you change something in the plot...

[all] HMMMMM.

ELM:: I'm thinking right now!

FK: It's the same butterfly effect idea, potentially.

ELM:: But now I'm struggling to think of any other kind of fic [laughing] there's something, I enjoy the kind that follows the canonical time frame, say, of the length of a movie, and pulls back a curtain or shows what's happening to the characters in between the scenes, I enjoy that, but isn't...

FK: THEY'RE ALL AUS UNDER THE SKIN. [all laugh]

ELM:: Yeah, if it wasn't in some way an...but this is the thing, maybe we shouldn't be turning around the term AU so lightly, AU means alternate universe, right? What is fanfiction? What is the nature of fanfiction?

[all talking over each other awhile]

FK: But in an alternate universe, in a world about alternate universes, if you're reading alternate universe fiction, some of them are very mildly different! Isn't there that theory that in every other alternate universe you died in every millisecond from a different thing? There's millions of alternate universes that are exactly like this one except that you died in a different millisecond in each of them, if there's truly infinite alternate universes out there?

ELM:: Is this what physicists do with their spare time?

FK: When they're high. [laughing]

ELM:: You know, whenever I talk to physicists and I'm like "really, really?" it's always something like this. I'm like, this counts as science?! Shouldn't you be measuring something? In a test tube?

FK: Measuring the numbers of horrible ways you could die in any millisecond!

ELM:: That's just a fun theory! I just don't...if we have any physicists listening to this they should write in and defend to me theoretical physics [MLB is dying in the background] It just sounds to me like they have fun imaginations and good vocabulary and they were in school for like eight years. I'll contact my physics friends and ask. Yeah. I don't know.

FK: I feel like this may be just where we came to at the end of this episode, Elizabeth. It may be that it's all, it was all an AU.

ELM:: Do you think there's...how many seconds. 60 times 60. 3600 alternate universes of this episode where every second a new episode spun out into a different direction?

FK: Yes. That's how many ideas about what alternate universes are work. That's how they work.

ELM:: We didn't even get to talk about soulmate AUs. [FK sighs happily]

MLD:: That's good because I don't have good thoughts about those, so...

ELM:: I know and that would be a point of discourse. Flourish loves them, obviously.

FK: I love them, obviously.

ELM:: She swooned. Cause she loves forced marriages.

FK: I do.

ELM:: She loves when agency is removed.

FK: I love it.

ELM:: Morgan and I are on the same page of almost everything here.

MLD:: [laughing] We're just on the same X-men plane right now and that's synced our brains up.

FK: I also feel like there are situations in which I would not like a soulmate AU, it's just that coming out of One Direction fanfic the only kind of good AU in it is soulmate AUs that are very canonical except for the soulmate thing. So. I think I've been destroyed by that.

ELM:: If it's your favorite trope that's fine but you also love arranged marriages and things like that so...

FK: Yeah they're interesting it's true.

ELM:: You like the lack of agency and having to work within it.

FK: That's true. That is accurate.

ELM:: I'm gonna psychoanalyze you now. Whereas Morgan and I like people being douchebags to each other. [everyone laughs]

MLD:: That's my preference!

FK: Well OK so things we've learned: everything is an AU, there are two choices, you can like people being douchebags or you can want to have agency taken away from people... [all laugh] Why not both?! is a question.

ELM:: OH NO. Where they have it written on their hands but then they just shout at each other the entire time? I could write that. I could write that one very easily for you.

FK: Yes. And everyone was an idiot when they were a teenager and that's OK. And teenagers are being idiots right now. That's it. That's our takeaways.

MLD:: I think that's a great set of takeaways [all laughing] We've solved the question!

FK: In some other alternate universe, this was a different way but this is how it went in this universe.

ELM:: That's right. Alright. We'll write it differently next time. [all laughing]

FK: Thank you so much for coming on Morgan, this was amazing.

MLD:: Thank you so much for having me, this was so much fun!

[Interstitial music by Jahzzar]

FK: OK I think that was more laughs per minute than any interview we've ever done.

ELM:: Good times. [laughing] And it's not just because, full disclosure, we recorded that a few days ago, I was at the height of a cold then, which I still have remnants of, and I was drinking scotch.

FK: And Dayquil!

ELM:: No! No. I had the Dayquil many hours earlier, you should not combine them. Top tip. Don't combine alcohol and any 'quil because it has acetominophen.

FK: I love that you call them a 'quil.

ELM:: Yeah they're 'quils. But here's what I'm gonna admit to right now because it's been a few days.

FK: OK...

ELM:: In the intervening five days since we recorded that...

FK: Oh no.

ELM:: I read and loved a high school AU. [FK gasps, ELM: laughs]

FK: Wooooooooah. I am, I don't know what to say! First of all we're gonna put it in the show notes and I need to read it and find out if I agree with you or not. That was actually one of the things I really liked about this interview was I felt like Morgan was great but also I disagreed with her fundamentally on some basic things and yet it was great. Anyway. I wanna find out if I disagree with you on this!

ELM:: Disagree? I mean like...

FK: I mean, whatever, if I don't like it...I guess I can't say that. That would be mean. I'll read it but I'm sure I'll love it.

ELM:: Did you, we didn't actually discuss this in the conversation but did you read the Rageprufrock fic that I sent you? That I think is my favorite probably in the X-men fandom? Limited Release.

FK: Yes.

ELM:: Did you like that?

FK: I read it. Yes.

ELM:: This hits a lot of the same notes.

FK: OK. I mean it wasn't, I will say I liked it, it was not my favorite fic that I have ever read, but I really enjoyed it.

ELM:: It didn't have to be your favorite fic ever...

FK: I don't mean to be an asshole, it's just sometimes you read a fic and you're like THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS.

ELM:: Yeah. I love that story. So this hit a lot of similar notes. And I don't know that I would say that the teens...do they act like real teens? Unclear.

FK: You may not care.

ELM:: Do I care? They didn't act like 90210 characters.

FK: I certainly don't care. I like Riverdale.

ELM:: Yes. The name of the story I believe it was "If You Liked The Book You'll Hate The Movie." So we'll put that in the show notes and people can see. It's about mental illness.

FK: OK!

ELM:: And about how no one ever gets better.

FK: That's true. Sort of.

ELM:: [laughs] Good! Good.

FK: We also had one thing that we didn't get to in our interview, which is that we got an ask from dzamieponders. "jamieponders" maybe? Not sure how to say their name. "Dz" is sometimes said like a J? So it could be Jamie? The ask is this. What do you think of the theory that fanworks often rely on significantly changing the plot, characters, and/or setting (but usually not all three),a nd that how much each fandom c hanges each thing can tell you about the fandom itself? Like, coffeeshop AUs change plot and setting but not characters, side character perspective stuff changes character but not plot or setting, and other species!character fics, I guess like mermaid fics or centaurification or something, change setting but not plot or characters. That's the ask. And we didn't get to it.

ELM:: We did not get to it. I don't necessarily disagree with this but I think it may be a little...I don't think it's as simple as that? I am intrigued by the idea of, and I think we touched on this many a time in this conversation, about why certain fandoms can lend themselves to this and not necessarily for everyone. Like what you were talking about with Star Wars and what you think is a really peak ripe for AU land Morgan was like absolutely not.

FK: [laughs] Other people also, clearly there's a deep divide in this because everybody it seems like has one of the two responses. When I wrote about Reylo and when we had the Problem of Reylo episode, it's really interesting. It's so divisive. I wonder if everything else is like that too. I wonder if X-men is like that, it's just that all the people we know love the AUs.

ELM:: I don't think there's any way that's possible. Just if you actually look at the numbers on AO3.

FK: Yeah but if you look at the numbers on AO3 of Reylo there's so many AUs too, right?

ELM:: Look, I've been deep in the Archive.

FK: I don't mean to challenge your knowledge. I am sure that you are correct. I think you really are.

ELM:: It just also, it's like, I don't think it's just what has been kudosed to the top, it really does seem like...and actually a lot of the writers I've been encountering I've read in other fandoms too. A lot of good... that sounds shitty to say. "All the good writers are writing AUs!" or whatever. But it does seem like that was, and I'm sure people who were in that fandom at the time these stories were being written could speak more to these conversations. But I have to wonder, I think it's probably reading too much into saying that what the choices around these shifting plot/setting/character questions say much about the fandom itself. I feel like it's somewhat of an individual thing.

FK: I don't know, I think there is something to be said for there almost being different communities of writers being interested in different things, especially if you get a big enough fandom. In Harry Potter there's huge communities of people who write certain types of fics that I would basically never read. People who are writing not just self-inserts but also things that hew very closely to the story of the books, that are continuing the story in ways that are very canon-compliant, and a lot of those people seem to be interested in things about the world, worldbuilding details and all this stuff, in ways that are different fundamentally than people writing a coffeeshop AU where the focus is on the characters. And there's some fandoms I find that are like this too. There are some fandoms where the stories are interested in different kinds of things. In general. Most people's stories. So I don't disagree with this, I just don't know how to quantify that.

ELM:: Yeah, but I also do think there's something...character is a tricky thing and it's a lot harder to pin down than plot and setting. It's very easy to say if the plot diverges from what happens in the canon, and I think at the heart of a lot of my critiques of a lot of AU culture is that from what I've read in the past there are times when I'm like "what is character anymore?" This feels so distant, this doesn't seem...the character can be internally consistent to the story, and still feel like an utterly different character. To the point where it's different than if I take Harry Potter and I stick him in a different situation, obviously he's going to say different things than the things he said in the book. But fundamentally if I can deconstruct his character I should be able to write that situation, right?

FK: I agree with you, and I think that the idea that...coffeeshop AUs change plot and setting, but not characters, well, bringing it back to my current pet fandom, when I think about even the Reylo AUs that I've enjoyed a great deal, part of the point is that they change the character, I think. The Kylo Ren in these books is not a mass murderer. That's part of the point.

ELM:: But that's action, that's not necessarily character, right? That's, I mean, what is character then?

FK: He doesn't have the opportunity, he's not in a setting where he's a force master, therefore he doesn't do it, maybe.

ELM:: Is he a petulant child in all of them? Then that's still canonical.

FK: He is a petulant child in all of them. But I do think there's something, there's a question about how much does your action make up your character. I think there is something fundamental about the actions that we take, even though they're impacted by circumstance.

ELM:: Oh a thousand percent! Obviously I've been thinking about this a lot when you have a canon where one of the characters does wind up murdering a lot of people but he's also the victim of explicit torture in a concentration camp, you know? Trigger warning, that's a little...

FK: Not to mention that he's half of your ship. [laughing]

ELM:: No but that's part of it! And it's interesting to see the good AUs find other, if it's moved into modern era, need to find another way to make him...you can't just say "he's grumpy." [laughs] Almost always there's some other kind of trauma and not in a way that excuses any of the behavior, but because it's so intrinsically wrapped up in what a character is...

FK: Otherwise the character isn't coherent. People aren't just like that unless...you know?

ELM:: Well it might be. Some people are tempermentally quite grumpy. But it does feel like, what is this character when you take away the circumstances? It's easy to see in an X-men story because it's very blunt circumstances. But it's a little harder to see when it's something less traumatic, I think.

FK: Yeah. I agree.

ELM:: So it's hard.

FK: Alright, well, I think that was a great ask. Thank you, dzamie or jamieponders or however your name is said and I'm really sorry that we've destroyed it.

ELM:: So, I think that's it for AUs! I'm probably gonna, after we wrap up, gonna go read some more. But I'm curious to know people's thoughts.

FK: Yeah! I look forward to hearing from people on this as well, and it's very easy to send us your thoughts! You can email us, [email protected], our website fansplaining.com is a Tumblr, the askbox is on, and so is anon, please don't be a jerk. You can send us fanmail but please don't, because that's...I don't know. You can.

ELM:: You can, it's a hard...it's a hard thing to respond to.

FK: It's a hard medium because it's...

ELM:: Tumblr's fanmail feature, if you're not familiar. Don't be familiar with it if you're not familiar.

FK: Send us an email instead.

ELM:: An email will do it. You can also send an ask, and if you want to use your username but you don't want us to reply just say so in the ask. Say just respond privately please. We'll obviously always respect that.

FK: We've also got Twitter, @fansplaining on Twitter, we've also got Facebook if you really feel the need to communicate in that fashion then I guess you can, that's also @fansplaining, and as always, a really good way to support us is to pledge to our Patreon which is at patreon.com/fansplaining, we are very soon going to have a tiny zine for you!

ELM:: Very soon.

FK: So get in your pledge now and get access to all kinds of special episodes, tiny zine, lots of stuff. Please enjoy it.

ELM:: That's right and if you do not have any cash right now you could also, or if you have cash! This isn't just for people with no cash. You could leave us a review and a rating on iTunes. That really helps other people find us. Yeah! Or share us with your friends.

FK: All right! I think that's it.

ELM:: I'm literally gonna go read an AU right now.

FK: OK go enjoy your AU.

ELM:: Flourish, I read a story...

FK: I will talk to you later, Elizabeth! [all laugh]

[Outro music, thank yous and disclaimers]

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therantingsage · 7 years ago

Text

The Journal

Wolf Link POV

I returned to the Twilight one night, a tiredness in my soul I simply couldn’t bear. Sadness usually came with the place, if only because of the memories it held, but this time…I just couldn’t help but feel empty. The sight of the statue of Midna and myself felt, for the first time, almost accusatory.

“Why have you not inquired? I am here, yet you’ve only thought of me in passing.” It said to my soul. I felt within me an incredible guilt. The statue had been here for so long, and yet…did I truly never ask why Midna had ordered it built? Perhaps I’d thought it was self-explanatory, but…the imp part of the statue was smiling. Gleeful. I can’t remember if there’d been moments where she’d been that happy while we were together. It’d been so long…

I let out a great sigh. I wanted to know. I needed to know. I never even asked what her last words had been. I needed to know why they all treated me like royalty…and not like a war hero.

Surely, I thought, she must’ve kept a journal.

So into the castle I walked, and once I was inside, I turned changed back to my human form for what must’ve been the first time in centuries. I stretched, letting my spine readjust to standing upright once more.

I had discarded my old tunic ages ago, but luckily the clothes of the Twili had adorned me since then. Midna’s cloak was draped across my back. I hadn’t let go of it since the Twili had given it to me.

The castle staff had been observing me since I entered into the building, collective looks of shock on each of their faces. None of them had seen my human form in any other way than the statue.

I cleared my throat, calling out for Jakil with a voice hoarse from lack of use. The man appeared, eyes widening when he saw who’d called him.

“M-master Shade?! I-i-is that you?!” He stammered in shock and reverence.

I nodded. “Jakil. Do you know if…Midna kept a journal? I know you weren’t alive when she was, but…” I looked down.

The caretaker shifted nervously. “She did…I’ve been told that it was kept from you by the others who held my position; they believed it would only make you grieve. Do you…what to see it?”

I looked him in the eyes. “Of course I do. I…I need to know so many things, things only she’d be able to tell me.” I pulled the hood over my eyes. “I need to at least read the last words she wrote.”

Jakil gave a reverent nod. He led me through the castle hallways, to where their old queen had once slept. Midna’s room.

I’d always wondered if I’d see this place in my lifetime. There’d never been other royalty in the castle after Midna, and that had only furthered my curiosity. What secrets did this room hold, after all these decades? Why had no one ever shown me how to get here?

It was a fairly simple place, the only thing extravagant about it being an elaborate Sol chandelier in the center of the ceiling. Old toys covered in dust sat on a bookshelf. A pair of them that sat next to each other were a Shadow Kargarok and one dark, twili wolf. It resembled my wolf form, but it was patterned like any Twili creature.

“The journal is on the bed, Master Shade.” Jakil informed me, bowing respectfully.

I gave a quiet laugh. “Please, you may call me Link. I was never one for formalities.” I told him, a small smile on my lips.

Jakil somehow paled and flushed at the same time. “Y-you mean that? But…our orders from the late queen…it is tradition t-to…” He trailed off, nervously looking at the ground.

I raised an eyebrow. “Orders?”

Jakil sighed. “Please, read her journal if you wish to know more. She can tell you far better than I can.” With that, he left me be.

I stood there quietly for a few moments more before turning my gaze to the bed. Indeed, there sat the journal. It had a deep teal cover, and the pages were made of light blue hardlight, which explained how the journal had lasted so long in the first place. I gently picked up the book. I brushed my hand across the cover, removing a bit of dust so I could read the words emblazoned across the front. It simply read ‘Diary’.

I opened the cover. I would turn my thoughts to her once more, and hear hers in turn. It was long overdue.

This thing has been sitting on my shelf for years, and I never thought I’d use it but I guess now’s as good a time as any. So much has happened, and yet so little is worth mentioning here of all places. I suppose, if I am to start writing things here, I should start by saying this: I have never regretted anything more than shattering that stupid mirror. I just can’t believe I’ll never see him again.

Eh, maybe he’ll find a way back here. He’s always been determined. Wouldn’t put it past him to come up with a way to return. That is, if he even wants to see me anymore after how much I hurt him. I couldn’t bear the look on his face when I broke that thing.

Ugh, I hate myself.

~*~

Well, I was expecting it to happen, but not this soon. They keep asking if I’m going to choose a husband soon. I don’t want to do that, Nilo can inherit the throne if I die. I don’t think I could ever love anyone after - ah, never mind. It isn’t as if anyone but me could understand what it feels like. At very least, no one in this realm.

~*~

I am shaken and afraid by the implications of what happened today. Some lone, single Twili who followed Zant murdered Nilo. My little brother is dead because of him, and now, if I die, no one will remain to take the throne.

The fact that that…LUNATIC had followers in the first place baffles and mortifies me. How could anyone here, after being corrupted and mentally torn to pieces think for even a moment that Zant cared for anyone but himself?! And how would killing Nilo do anything to bring back Zant?!

The perpetrator is to be put to death tomorrow.

~*~

I can’t help but wonder how Link is doing. I miss him more than I dare to admit to anyone. I hope beyond hope that he is doing alright. I can’t bear the thought of him being unhappy and alone out there. I wish I could see him again.

~*~

I ordered a statue built in honor of the time we spent together. A part of it has both of our true forms, and the bottom has him in his wolf form and me in that cursed shape. I was hesitant to include it, and to have it smiling, but I knew it was right to do so. I wouldn’t want anyone here to forget all the hardships that lead to this point.

And, if Link ever comes back, he’ll know how much I love him.

~*~

It took a while, but the statue is finally finished. I can’t help but smile when I look at it. Even if it’s not his real face, having this memorial standing there brings a tear to my eye from nostalgia. It’s also nice to have everyone else here know what I went through. I’d been keeping it a secret for so long, but when I’d first ordered the statue to be built, the other Twili had asked me unceasingly what exactly had happened in the world of light that this statue was referencing.

I told the story to them all, and the historian wrote down what I said on a set of Sol-light tablets. Perhaps they’d inscribe my words on the statue somewhere, I don’t know.

~*~

I’ve been trying to find a way to contact him. I feel…like there’s an empty void within me that’s calling out. Like I left a piece of myself with him, and it’s stuck in a place I can’t reach. I need to find a way to talk to him. I just have to.

~*~

It’s taken months of training, but I finally figured out how to perform the ancient art of the Twili: shadow projection. It’s putting your shadow any place you can imagine, and moving from there. You can only interact with things through voice, and can’t appear physically, but it’s all I need. I’m going to find him, even if it’s the last thing I do.

~*~

It took longer than I would’ve liked, but I finally found him! He’s in his wolf form, surprisingly. Can’t imagine why he’d want to be in that form, or how he managed to figure out how to change between it and his real form without my help, but from the looks of things, he’s got everything under control.

It only took so long because he wasn’t in Ordon. Or anywhere else we’d been for that matter. He seems to have distanced himself from society since the last time I saw him.

I was super nervous about saying anything, so I kinda just followed him around for a bit before making myself known. When I did, he jumped two feet into the air and fell flat on his face. It was hilarious. His tail was wagging when he got up, which did a lot to ease my nerves. Turns out the shadow projection works so that me talking is in his head, so he could communicate with me by thinking while I was doing it. It was weird, but I was glad it worked at all. I was just glad he wasn’t upset with me.

Maybe I’ll write down what we talk about. A new age has begun for both of us.

I scanned the pages, only reading over her accounts of what we spoke of in brief. I knew those parts for myself. A warmth spread over my face at a few entries, and my heart beat a little faster as I saw everything from her point of view. There was just so much…affection in her writing.

A particular passage caught my eye, so I read it over carefully.

I feel as though I am aging faster than he is. My voice has been sounding older and older lately, yet his voice sounds just as it did years ago. It’s as if he’s stopped aging. Or maybe I’m just losing my mind in my old age or something. Heh, I can’t even tell if he’s noticed the change in my voice. If he has, he hasn’t said anything.

I wish I’d confessed years ago, when I was still young. I feel as if I owe it to him, but now I doubt he’d appreciate me waiting so many years to let him know how I felt. It’s rude of me to keep him in the dark about something like that. Agh, and still my people surely despise me for refusing to pick someone to be my king. I will not abandon my heart. I will not.

Yet, he hasn’t said anything either, and since I hear his thoughts when we talk I know he feels the same. If he will not say, then neither will I.

I’ll need to make plans for what happens to the throne when I pass, for I will not choose a husband now of all times.

~*~

It hurts to stand up. It seems my time is nearly at an end. I finally made a decision, though. If Link ever makes it back here, then HE will be king. It is how it should’ve been, how it would’ve been had he returned earlier. The people seem to be reluctant to accept this decree. I do not blame them.

~*~

I asked him today if he knows how to return to the Twilight. He said he did not. I responded that it would be nice if he did, because I’d love to see his face again.

I’m sorry, Link. I love you.

I put the journal down, wiped the tears from my eyes, and left the room. I returned to my own room and wept into my seeing glass.

#HEEEYYYOOOO #botw #Breath of the Wild #botw spoilers #The Legend of Zelda #tloz #tloz: botw #The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild #tloz: tp #Twilight Princess #The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess #tloz Twilight Princess #Midna #Link #Wolf Link #The Wolf of the Wilderness #HEY LOOK AT THIS #I'M SO GLAD I CAN POST THIS #IT TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE

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kyouxa · 5 years ago

Text

Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Shin Tsukinami (Story 02)

Place: Orange mansion — Shin’s bedroom

Yui: Ngh...

(Where... am I... ?)

Agh!

*Yui jumps up*

Yui: (That’s right! Yesterday, I fell asleep in Shin-kun's room...)

(Shin-kun, he’s not here... ? Is he already awake?)

(Yesterday, nobody believed me when I complained about this place being strange)

(Rather, I was told that I’m wrong ...)

(Nobody seemed to doubt their memories. Even Shin-kun, forgot about me ...)

*flashback*

Shin: You remembered everything about the fact that you’re the Eve from the legend, right? Then you can do it right away, can’t you?

Yui: Legend… what are you talking about? Shin-kun, somehow you’re acting strange!

Shin: You’re the strange one. In the first place, who allowed you talking to me so familiar?

Yui: Eh…but, I’ve always been talking to you like that until now, didn’t I?

Always, ever since we became lovers…

Shin: Lovers? Aaah. Did you finally go completely crazy because I sucked your blood earlier?

There’s no way we could be lovers. We met for the first time hardly one day ago.

Yui: That’s...

*end flashback*

Yui: (After all, it was useless.... he forgot everything, that we were lovers and even his real brother)

(If I think more about yesterday, I’ll just end up crying, this situation is weird)

(Not only Shin-kun. Also Ruki-kun seems to have forgotten his true brothers ...)

(Do I really have to live in this world, while Shin-kun has no memories?)

(I hate this situation... )

(... I'm sorry if I get weak. There must be a way for everyone's memories to be restored ...)

(Because I was able to remember, there must be a way to return everyone's memories.)

(Yes... it's too early to give up already! I need to work hard to make them remember!)

*footsteps approach*

Yui: (Who could it be... ?)

Shin: Ha? That look... You really haven’t even changed your clothes yet.

Yui: Shin-kun.

Shin: *sigh* ... How long are you going to take to dress up?

My older brother just came back again. That's why you should change your clothes. We’re going to meet in the living room.

Yui: Yes, I-I’m sorry. I’ll go and change my clothes now... !

(That’s true... I’m not in a situation where I’m allowed to be slow, I need to change my clothes quickly)

Shin: I'm telling you, don't forget that you’re in my room here. I’d feel troubled if you’re acting too relaxed.

Yui: Yes, I know...

Shin: You can apologize later, hurry up and get ready now.

Yui: Understood. Well then let me use the bathroom real quick.

Shin: Hah? Why would you bother going so far? You can change your clothes here.

Yui: Eh?

Shin: Hurry up already. I’ll wait until you’re done.

Yui: But, I can’t change them while you’re here, Shin-kun ...

(You can’t see it, right?)

Shin: ...What? Maybe, is it embarrassing to change your clothes while you’re seen by me?

This is still my room, isn’t it?

Yui: Yes, it is but it's still embarrassing.

(Why does Shin-kun want me to change my clothes in front of his eyes so bad...)

Shin: Foolish woman. You desperately want to hide your body which is no big deal.

Even if I look at you while you’re changing your clothes, there won’t be any difference. Hah... why can’t you just do what I tell you.

Yui: U-Ugh... ! I'm embarrassed and I can't help it.

Shin: Well, whatever. I don’t want my elder brother to wait any longer in the living room.

I’ll wait in front of the room so you can change your clothes.

However, I’ll only wait 5 minutes. Hurry up.

Yui: Y-Yes! Thank you... !

*Shin leaves*

Yui: (I got 5 minutes, all right. I have to change my clothes quickly before Shin-kun gets mad!)

Place: Orange Mansion — Corridor

Yui: Shin-kun, I’m done... !

Shin: I've been waiting for a while.

Yui: Sorry...

Shin: Hah, well, whatever. My brother is waiting. Follow me.

Yui: Y-Yes...

(I wonder what’s the reason, Ruki-kun’s calling us for?)

(Maybe, he get information about becoming the king?)

(However, what will happen if they’re going to fight?)

(If so, what would happen if Shin-kun and everyone else would get hurt. I’d be so worried...)

Place: Orange mansion — Living room

Shin: Thanks for waiting, brother. I brought Eve with me.

Ruki: Finally.

Kanato: So you finally decided to come? You really made me wait while having that smirk on your face.

Ayato: You’re late, Shin! Chichinashi! It's not a good feeling to make yours truly wait so long.

Yui: S-Sorry.

Shin: Be quiet. Don't be so stunned, usually you’re the one who comes late.

Yui: (Everyone’s really gathered here. After all, I knew we’ll talk about something important ...)

Shin: Come on, Eve. Here, sit down.

Yui: Yes. Thank you.

*Yui sits down*

Ayato: So, why did you call us today, Ruki?

Ruki: Oh, about that, this time Eve will join us. That’s because, I’d like to ask you about a critical task.

Yui: (Critical task... He means, like going on a reconnaissance or a battle preparation?)

Ruki: So for today. We’ll do a full house cleaning, which means repairing everything.

Yui: (... Eh? Now Ruki-kun, said we’re going to cleaning up ...? Did I really hear that correctly?)

Shin: Cleaning? Ha, this really sounds like my brother.

Ayato: Screw that! Why should I clean up anyone’s mess because you told me to?

Kanato: Please do it yourself if you want to do it. It doesn't matter to me.

Ruki: *sigh* ... You two... why do you think we actually need to repair the house?

There’s a hole in the wall of the corridor and a lamp in the kitchen is broken.

Everything was destroyed, which is the result of your violent behavior.

Yui: (Is that so... Ayato-kun and Kanato-kun’s behavior didn’t change at all in this situation)

Ayato: So that’s why! But how can you prove it was our doing?

Kanato: Are you really putting yourself on the throne while you can’t manage to clean the mansion and blame us at the end? You really are the worst.

Shin: Just what are you two trying to saying? If it's not your fault, who's fault is it?

Ruki: Listen to me, now. I was trying to be nice, but I’m clearly at the limit of my patience.

Yui: (He really is at the limit of his patience. It feels like, I understand the trouble Ruki-kun’s going through)

Ruki: That's why. It’s a good opportunity to repair the entire house. Because you can't complain at all.

Yui: (I see, it was about cleaning. I thought it was a strategy meeting for a fight, so I feel relieved.)

(It's good that we’re doing something so relaxing for today)

Ruki: I already decided, everyones allocations for today. I, Shin and Eve are staying in the house. Ayato and Kanato are working in the garden.

Ayato: What? Wait! Why do I have to brush the grass in the garden!

Kanato: I’m not convinced either. Why aren’t the two guys who are comfortable with this, Ruki and Shin leaving the warm house?

It’s unfair that only Shin, who’s already doing nothing, is allowed to do the easy work out of all people!

Ruki: We can’t afford to leave the reparation in the mansion to both of you.

You two would immediately destroy things again and this would cause more trouble for me.

Shin: Hehe... well, seems like I got a good job.

Ruki: That’s it. There’s nothing to complain anymore. Now, let’s finally start working. I’ll keep everyone in my eyes.

Shin: Come on, it's time for cleaning. You two need good luck since we have a lot of grass.

Ayato: Tch, stupid asshole.

Kanato: Treating me like this ..., you’ll definitely regret that.

Yui: (It looks like they aren‘t convinced yet, but they still follow Ruki-kun's orders)

(Because the mood was mainly anxious yesterday, I’m glad that the mood is a little softer today...)

Place: Orange Mansion — Corridor

Shin: The wallpaper is broken here too. I remember it, Ayato and Kanato were putting water on them.

Yui: They really did that?

Shin: Yeah, that’s right. It’s a really pain in ass if you need to live with such idiots like them.

Aah, looks like we need to change it.

Before preparing a new wallpaper, we should peel off this one.

Yui: Yes.

*time passes*

Yui: Let's mix those wallpapers.

Shin: Yeah.

You see, it would look better, a little like this.

Yui: Understood.

Shin: Looks good. Ugh... ahem... ahem... ahem...

Yui: Shin-kun! Are you okay?

Shin: It’s so much... ahem... dust... ahem

Yui: Yes... that’s true. It would’ve been great if we didn’t need change it in the first place.

Shin: Yeah that’s true. But my elder brother may have wanted to clean it all the time, but Ayato was always running away from it.

But this really is, a good opportunity for a change. I hope I made my brother happy with this.

Yui: Hehe.

Shin: Hm? What are you laughing at?

Yui: Oh, sorry. Shin-kun, I was just thinking about your weird relationship with your brothers.

Shin: Well whatever. I don’t really care.

Yui: (After all, he doesn’t think it’s strange that Ruki-kun’s his brother)

(But, Shin-kun doesn’t even know that his real brother is Carla-san...)

(The feelings he has toward Ruki-kun are normally the ones he has for Carla-san ...)

(After all I should try telling Shin-kun again)

Shin: Hey, hand me the wallpaper.

Yui: Yes...

(But, how can I make his memories return back to normal ...)

(If I don't do anything, it’ll be always like this)

Shin: Hey, are you thinking about something strange once again?

Yui: Huh...!?

(I wonder if he was worried because the look on my face changed .... Shin-kun’s really sharp)

Well, I haven't thought about anything strange ...

I‘m sorry, I just feel bad. It’s just, uhm...

Shin: And that’s why..., you‘re always saying such things and they’re so annoying!

*Shin comes closer*

Yui: Kya... !

Shin: You‘re still thinking about yesterday, aren‘t you? This is getting on my nerves.

I always catch you when you think about weird stuff, but you don’t notice it at all, you’re just so damn annoying.

Yui: (That’s frustrating... Shin-kun suddenly got so angry with me)

Shin: Listen to me now because I won‘t repeat myself. Now tell me, what do you want to say? Don’t try to fool me anymore.

Yui: ...

Shin: Tch, now you‘re just quiet.

Yui: (Would it be better to say something... ? But, I feel like it’s useless to say anything to Shin-kun now ...)

(His memories are fake, he can't be immediately convinced if I‘d say anything suddenly)

Shin: Hmh. You can‘t even look at me anymore. Maybe, you think it’s better if you avoid talking to me?

Yui: ...Ngh!

Shin: Yes. You‘re looking at me again. With those eyes of yours which are close to cry.

Yui: ...Ngh.

(I’m so scared even if the most important person to me, Shin-kun is right in front of me ...!)

Shin: Hehehe, that face really is the best.

Yui: (Even if I hear your voice, feel your body temperature, your smell or breath, it's all the same...)

(The warmth when I was touched before, I can still remember everything...)

(But Shin-kun forgot me completely— ngh)

Choices

1) — Shed tears (white) ♡ ♡ ♡

2) — Look away (black)

— Shed tears ♡

Shin: Aah, your tears are shedding.

Yui: No, I‘m not crying...

Shin: You can’t even deny the easiest thing anymore. You see, what is this?

Yui: ...Ngh

(He really whipped my tears away...)

(I will misunderstand that... He’s still not caring at all about my feelings)

(If that’s not the case... Ngh)

(But, my heart screams for him so badly ...)

Shin: You‘re wasting your tears.

Yui: (What do you mean? What am I supposed to do...?)

— Look away

Shin: Why are you closing your eyes? Don’t tell me, you’re expecting a kiss or something?

Yui: ... N-No I’m not.

Shin: If that’s so, open your eyes.

You should look at me directly. Without looking away.

Look me directly in my eyes.

Yui: ...Ngh!

Yui: (What are you going to do... ?)

end Choices

Shin: I'd like to see you cry more and more while you have that look on your face.

From this soft-looking neck, from your shoulders which are shaking because you‘re scared, I will suck from everywhere.

Yui: No, wait, Shin-kun... !

*footsteps approach*

??? : What are you doing, Shin?

*Shin backs off*

Shin: Brother! Nothing, nothing in particular.

Ruki: ... Really? It didn’t really look like nothing to me.

Yui: (I wonder, did Ruki-kun watch us the entire time?)

Ruki: I hope you understand your situation, I‘m feeling betrayed by your actions now, Shin.

You‘re not supposed to fantasize about Eve’s blood, you should only protect her in any situation.

Shin: It’s fine, I know that. I‘d never do anything to make you feel betrayed, brother.

I‘m completely different from Ayato or Kanato. They‘d probably be attached to her.

Ruki: Yes, I know that. And you wouldn‘t be... right?

Place: Orange Mansion — Garden

*rushling sound*

Kanato: It doesn’t, It doesn’t decrease even if you unplug it. Screw that shit! Fuck it!

It feels like...this kind of mud... I’m having such a hard time ..., why... why am I supposed to do this... !

Ayato: Ugh! Why do I need to work with such a crybaby like you! You better stop crying already because you’re annoying me!

Kanato: But I...

Ayato: Damnit! This asshole really thinks he can order me around like that, I‘ll make him regret his choice!

*cutting sound*

Kanato: Ih! I cut my hands with the grass... It really can‘t get any worse... !

Agggh... I don‘t want to do this anymore. I want to... go home soon... and eat my delicious sweets ...

Ayato: ...Shit! Stop crying! First of all, why are we actually following his orders?

Hey Kanato, let's get this shit done by tomorrow. Let's continue with all our energy then.

Kanato: Yes... that sounds good. I finally want to emanate another feeling besides being pained by this work.

Ayato: Hehe, yes, let’s get out of here already.

→ Story 3

← Story 1

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