#aggressively flirting while pointing out the losses in the past months

[the-blossica-fan]

Evil Phenomenon for Kanjira...

...She's deathly afraid of snakes and she's knowledgeable on business. Maybe...

(Ms. NewBabel and Eternity would love her 😭)

(Matilda and Mercuria takes care of Punji 🥺)

LMAO

Imagine she lets her hair down free and starts to slowly become more business-like and slightly honest money kind of girl. She would sit there and start administrating money and plans for the future.

Poor Punji tho, it has always been on Kanjira so to see its owner running away from it... Poor little snake.

Kanjira would scold Matilda like she's some kind of boss to her, which is completely the opposite because Kanjira could never bring herself to talk roughly to Matilda.

Insert scene of Ms. Newbabel fighting against Eternity Smash Bros style to see which one gets to Kanjira first (spoiler alert: neither)

Poor Punji is always on Mercuria's neck from now on since Matilda is pretty ticklish to have it on her body (personal headcanon).

Imagine she ends up making a deal with Vertin over the suitcase incomes and plans everything alongside her so they have always an incoming source of reliable money, then when she goes back to normal Vertin is standing there with their unfinished plans for the distribution of money in the suitcase like 😞🪙💰

Punji is the saddest in here but comically enough, Matilda and Kanjira have this sort of haters and lovers quarrels every time they're together and Mercuria is always there holding Punji in case it goes too far.

[divineunderstandingsastrology]

Solar Eclipse at 29 degree Aries - releasing the old formulas of reality.

There’s an eclipse on April 19th at around 9:11 PM (PST), in Aries. Eclipses are slow-releasing transformation points. They open a portal unto our ability to heal and release stuck stuff. They can signal a time of polishing and aligning the ego; the side of us that is not in touch with the greater reasoning of the Universe. The side that tries to fight divine timing and fight it with logic and reasoning, much of it stemming from past experience. The thing with eclipses, though, is that they can be a reset. What worked in the past will probably not be the case moving forward, when it comes to whatever the eclipse represents. With Aries there is a transformation of our ability and motivation to fight, our resistance to new things, and a step into the things we’d be able to do if we had no fear; fearlessness is the Aries way. When we release the fog of Pisces there can be new doorways opened up and a clear instinct as to what walls we want to bust through with the vitality and vigor of Aries energy. 

On the 19th of April the eclipse happens when the sun and moon are just leaving Aries, and is in the very critical 29th degree. The 29th degree is somewhat known for being tied to crises, and can relate to breaking points or points in need of very intense progression forward. This matches Aries energy well, as Aries pays no real mind to the past, and has its sights on the next big thing to overcome. Challenges are a major thing when it comes to Aries energy, and with degree 29 there is a signal for mastery. It is theorized that planets and points at 29 degrees represent something that needs to be overcome, harnessed, understood and mastered.

The ruler of Aries is Mars, so with these eclipse we’re dealing with themes of: 

aggression 

Innovation

initiation

Impulse

motivation 

the inclination to fight

Competition

FOMO or “get there first” mentality

difficulties reeling it in (reactive)

Entrepreneurial pursuits

and a desire to go all out and take risks or “flirt” with disaster. 

The thing in life we are most desiring to fight for, that motivates and captivates us, or that we find the most instinctually alluring, may be something that unfolds more from the point of the eclipse on. There’s a sort of determined momentum that always comes with Aries, and the sun and the moon together in that energy during an eclipse has the appearance of cleansing and solidifying the ego in pursuit of what’s actually wanted, while the idea of constraints can become increasingly difficult to tolerate.

There’s the theme of solidifying the inner and outer selves in order to push toward the desirable, and leave behind traits that enable losing out and accepting defeat and failure as the status quo. Aries pushes us to win and feel like a winner, and it represents winning at all costs. Refusing to surrender or give up on what it is that “makes it” for us (that thing in life that we think will fulfill us in terms of passion) is something that could come up during this time. With this eclipse taking place in the same sign Chiron has been in for a while, there’s some of the energy of healing and self improvement around taking losses in life that are not deserved, or accepting weaker versions of ourselves for the sake of comfort and ease. 

Those paths in life that are desired but never seem to find any real beginning or place in the world could have their moment of clarity the 6 or so months after the eclipse. There could be a triggering of releasing old habitual patterns of procrastination or drifting, (Saturn in Pisces is teaching us this lesson, too: that of how to stop drifting and really figure stuff out) patterns of making excuses out of fear and really staying stuck in limbo as a result of not being able to see how certain things will work out. If the upcoming Mercury retro will have us overthinking the path ahead, the Aries eclipse can help us burn through it and transform it into something almost unrecognizable. 

Ruler of Aries is in Cancer:

When we want to ”predict” how certain transits or astrological events will play out, we can look to the ruler of the planet in question. With Mars we look to its current transit in Cancer: the sign of deep familial and domestic connection. Mars in Cancer still has us emotionally driven - led strongly by the way things feel, having us experience really intense and unpredictable emotions as Mars has a hard time navigating the sensitivity of Cancer. In tune with the Eclipse there’s a shedding of old emotional wounds and patterns, as well as certain inherited troubles and traumas through the family line. Emotional “battles” that are difficult to win can become a focus for mastery once again during this transit. 

Mars will be in a sextile with Mercury when the eclipse happens. Mercury correlates to focus on a mental level, but it can also represent trying to see things as they really are: it’s a very dry and factual planet, even though it does represent the human brain, and our perceptions as humans aren’t always accurate. Mercury is also tied to communication, which is something that comes up all the time. But in a sextile with Mars Mercury has the chance to make a big impact in a communication sense. We have the chance to profess certain feelings, make connections in a deeper sense intellectually and really scope out the emotional reasons why we take certain steps forward, or have taken certain steps. 

Mercury is somewhat important because it aspects Mars, the ruler of Aries, during the eclipse. With Mercury being in a conjunction with Uranus there can be a lot of shifts in perspective, or difficulty maintaining clear cut-and-dry understandings. Understandings can feel shaky, strangely esoteric or a bit out of reach, and overthinking is not our friend during this time, especially with this conjunction happening in the ever-hesitant Taurus. The way we’ve come up with intricate “logical” excuses and postponed certain big callings in life might come up to be examined and released.

Being too blunt with what we think is the truth can also be a theme that comes up for transformation: the need for tact and grace when it comes to communicating our strongest held convictions, or vice versa: not having strong enough conviction or understandings as to what we want out of reality. There can also be rigidity of thought when it comes to Mercury in Taurus - stubbornly holding onto certain facets of viewing the world and solving problems, as well as telling the same stories over and over again regarding life’s reality and what’s possible. Luckily Uranus always has a habit of disrupting rigid and stagnant states, even if it renders the process highly uncomfortable by way of feeling no real sense of security.

Sun and Moon square Pluto

Pluto IS the “lord of the underworld”, but is also tied majorly to transformation and the death of the old. This coming eclipse has so much energy that resonates, and so many of the elements tie together. We have the critical 29th degree representing forcible dealing of crises, with that 29 being in Aries, the sign of burning bridges and facing stuff head on. Then we have Pluto being a major player and coming to direct major change and the release of stuff - eclipses specifically being about purification and release. The themes are beautiful and harmonious, even if a little edgy. 

Pluto comes to take us to task to show us what we can withstand and still grow in strength, and when it’s in a square with the sun and moon there’s a huge shift in how we relate through our emotional perspective with the outside world, as well as our identity and expression in it. Pluto demands some sort of release of biases and misconceptions; the modern ruler of Scorpio is all about truth and exposure, desensitization and survival. We are being called to step into our truest sense of self, ambition, motivation, perseverance and lust for life. When it comes to Pluto in Aquarius the focus has to do with the future, our goals for evolution and our deepest sense of enlightenment and genius. It’s pushing us to cultivate the talents that enable us to contribute to society. Aquarius also represents experimentation - putting seemingly weird or unpredictable elements together and letting the results play out without being too attached to what will happen, as the possibilities are endless. Again this is an allusion to repetitive formulas for our reality being released. 

Sun and Moon conjunct Jupiter 

Jupiter is the planet of our belief systems and what we turn to when there seems to be no hope or positive resolution. It’s faith and good will, and represents our highest mind: that which is actually connected to our spirit. Jupiter is going to be helping us out in some respects, assisting us in finding the meaning through some of the darkness being wrought by Pluto. Jupiter is the perspective that’s unendingly bright in the face of absolute darkness. With the sun and moon both conjuncting Jupiter during the eclipse we can reach for a spiritual understanding regarding the path ahead. It may seem as though there’s a very deep and meaningful spiritual experience unfolding, or we may simply begin to believe in the most positive outcome. We may start to witness those in our lives experiencing positive outcomes after periods of darkness, or choosing the light instead of a negative perspective of struggles. It’s a learning opportunity: seeing things fade and slide into an abyss of uncertainty but believing strongly that the highest good for all will be achieved in the end. Learning something major about our ability to survive and the strength that we actually possess is a possibility. 

Another possibility is that ego temporarily gets expanded and burns like a fire trying to take over a forest. Jupiter is an exaggerating force, and it really brings the danger of prioritizing the self above all else when it’s in a conjunction with the sun - the moon as well, to a certain extent. We have to resist the temptation to move too quickly; there needs to be a balance between motivated and empowered pursuit and recklessness. There may be lessons we think we’ve learned and overcome, just to have to experience them again later on.

[putseraphinaonthaphone]

That's on Me | Revised Fic Pt. I

based on the thirst about Izuku wanting to beat the pussy because it's too good up by @awilddreamerwrites

cw// everyone is aged up to third years, quirk use during sex, innocence kink, m/m, anal play, d/s dynamic, creampies, sloppy seconds, threeway, group sex, Bakugo x Reader in an established relationship, queer reader who uses feminine descriptors (Bakugou calls you his girl/woman in intimate scenes where there's already pre-established consent to do so, pussy, tits, etc) but he/him pronouns, BakuDeku Poly dynamic w/ reader endgame

There was always tension in the air when the three of you were in the same room, different than the preceding energy of one of your boyfriend's explosive outbursts. More like the smell of a storm in the air, like lightening followed by earthshaking thunder.

Deku would look at Kacchan, and Kat would look at Deku, and Deku would look at you and Kat didn't really mind and why didn't he mind?!

If anyone came in he would start barking at Deku to 'get his eyes off his boyfriend before he blows his face off,' but if you happened to time it perfectly and you three were the only ones in the common room..

Your boyfriend didn't growl at you to cover up if you were wearing his boxers that molded indecently to your ass beneath his shirt, in fact he groped at your curves possesively- delighting in the way Deku watched every movement of his hand on your ass while you cuddled into him.

So when Deku burst into Kat's dorm room while you were face down, ass up and getting absolutely railed-- it seemed like the final straw snapped in all three of you.

"Get in here and shut the fucking door nerd." Your boyfriend growled at Deku who was already doing so without having to be asked. He came closer to the bed, entranced by the filthy squelching of the blond's cock in your soaking wet pussy.

"You've always got an eye on my- ngh- fucking girl, Deku. Imagined him like this didn't you?" Even though his words should've been angry, it sounded more like the dirty words he growled at you that lit your pussy on fire. Your boyfriend was fucking you stupid but you tried your best to call out to the greenet, wanting him to know that you wanted him here (as much as Kat did if he let himself admit it.)

"'Zuku," you couldn't help the way your voice came out fucked and whimpering when Kat was rearranging your guts with a vengance.

"Fucking slut, why is your cunt getting tighter on my cock when you say his name?" His accusing tone was rendered meaningless because his cum started filling your cunt as he hammered into you, making you cum around him to milk every drop of seed from his balls as they smacked against your ass.

"Because he wants me to take a turn at his pussy." The utter confidence in Izuku's earnest voice made your pussy clench around Kat's slowly softening girth. He pulled out of your pussy and let you collapse tiredly on the bed, sprawled out like the perfect little whore you were tempting them both to ruin you. He kissed your temple and grumbled a 'traitor' under his breath before turning to face Deku.

The greenet had his dick out and a scarred hand wrapped around it, and it made Kat's cheeks dark to see that he didn't try to hide himself. He keep stroking a cock that made both of you revel in your inner size queens, and the little sound he made when he grabbed his own heavy balls made Kat sport a half chub quick enough to make him dizzy from the blood loss.

But he had to pull himself together, if he was going to make this work with his heart and dignity in tact.

"And why the fuck do you think I'd let you?" He challenged, green eyes clashing with red as the two stood too close for their posture to be aggressive.

It was intimate, like they shared a center of gravity and couldn't help but be drawn together.

"Please, Katsu, Zuku.." You whimpered, your eyes heavy lidded and pleading as you rolled onto your back- pulling one knee up so that they could both see Kat's cum leaking out of your hole. "Stop fighting. I want all of us to fuck in as many permutations as possible before I can't take anymore. Got it?" Your demand was spoken with only a few moans and whimpers as you fingered your stretched pussy, knowing one of them would break and you'd get what you needed.

"Do you have a condom or.. can you swear to me that you're clean?" Kat looked at Deku seriously, and Deku's breathed hitched by the intensity of those red eyes on him. His rhythm with his hand stuttered before he was able to nod with honesty ringing in his voice as he answered,

"I'm clean, Kacchan. I swear. I wouldn't put him.. or you at risk like that. And.. no one compared to you two. I haven't had sex in months." The admission made you whine- you were going to be at the mercy of hasn't-had-his-dick-wet-in-months Izuku? You prayed that you'd be able to walk tomorrow.

"Then go for it. But I'll be watching you. Do a good job and make him cum or you'll never get to fuck his pussy again." The threat made Deku's thick cock spurt more precum as he nodded and made his way to the center of the bed to push both your thighs to your chest. There was no way you'd be able to escape the mating press he put you in, so your pussy gushed realizing you wouldn't really have a choice about being impaled on his cock-which was well over your boyfriends already intimidating 8 inches.

"You think you can be a good girl for me and take it all?" The tip of his cock kiss your cum filled hole, and he looked at you so sweetly when you nodded you could almost forget he was about to split you in half.

You could hear Kat cursing under his breath to the side of you as he pulled up a chair to watch, but you could also hear the shameless sound of spit hitting his hand so he could jack off to the sight of Izuku's muscled form pinning you to the bed. The greenet had grown over his three years at UA, and he was a few inches taller than Kat now, and a lot broader.

His large scarred hands gripped your hips as he started pushing into you, inch by inch until he was buried as far inside you as he could reach- pressing snugly against your cervix and his heavy balls resting against the luscious fat of your ass.

And it was like he saw the face of god. Your dripping, clenching, fluttering heat was the best thing he had ever felt on his dick. Even if he got to put his dick in Kacchan's equally fuckable ass like he dearly wanted to, he didn't think even then it would beat this. This, the perfect and maddening pussy that belonged to Kacchan's beloved boyfriend. His girl.

The pleasure of it, hot as the sun and tinged with something dark and hungry and wild, grabbed him by the base of the spine and infected him with the almost painful craving to rut into you as hard and deep as possible.

"He's so fucking tight," Izuku's filthy moan wasn't even addressed to you, but it made your pussy clench further around his thick girth as he fucked you. There was green lightening crackling around him and his gaze on your was determined as he fucked into you harder- wanting to get as deep into your insatiable, hungry little pussy as he could. He could think of nothing else. Not even Kacchan watching him fuck you, not what this all meant.

Your moans had long since gone past embarrassing but your boyfriend only continued to watch as his childhood best friend fucked orgasm after orgasm out of you, not put off in the slightest by the growing mess off fluids between your lush thighs caused by his generous attention to your throbbing clit.

At some point there was a loud CRACK and the headboard fell to pieces where Izuku had been trying to hold himself up. He had let go of your hips at some point, but the sharp smack of his hips against your ass was a testament to how determined he was to imprint the shape of his dick into you.

"He has the best pussy I've ever fucked. Doesn't it feel like he's trying to milk your load right out of you?" Katsuki grinned ferally with pride at being blessed with such an irresistible partner.

"He's going to," Izuku's bright green eyes meet yours intensely, and you shivered under his gaze as he continued to fuck your overstimulated pussy. Your legs shook around his waist but all he did was fuck you deeper so you couldn't run from it.

"Ah ah ah, don't run, sweetness. Even if I have to break the bed too, I'm making sure all my cum ends up in your tummy.."

Your cervix was hammered so persistently you were sure Izuku's plan was to shoot his cum directly into your womb. By the time he let out the filthiest groan of "ngh- fucking, take it-" all you can get out is a garbled mess of

"yes!" and "'Zuku!" and "baby.."

Katsuki was laying beside you now, watching Deku fight to control his strength as your pussy threatened to undo himcompletely by fluttering and milking him until he was gritting his teeth from the overstimulation. Kat had cum twice all over his own fingers watching Deku being bested by you. He was so high on the thought that his girl could do this to Izuku. Make him look all fucked out, flushed tits heaving as he kneeled over your well fucked form, desperate..

Pretty.

"You look like a fucking slut, Deku." Why did that come out sounding like he was flirting? "You owe me a fucking headboard too dumbass." You watched your boyfriend growl the threat as an after thought, smirking at the blush on his cheeks. When Izuku came back to bed after putting the washcloths he used to clean you both in the bathroom, his eyes trailed over Katsuki's bare chest and low slung basketball shorts with a slight wet spot- his fourth erection of the night making the greenet's mouth water.

"I think I can find a way to make it up to you."

[alwaysmychoices]

So, I wrote a HC that was pretty angsty and messy about what would have happened if Ethan and MC started dating after Miami. I still think that would have happened, but I started wondering, “what would I have written if I was writing a cute HC about that?” Next thing I knew, it was 2 am and I was writing this on my phone from my bed. 

So, here are all the cuter details about what I think would have happened if they started dating in Book 1.

Ethan & MC Dating after Miami - Cute Moments HC  💖

When Ethan and MC started a relationship in Miami, neither of them had any idea how hard those first six months would be. Between the fights and miscommunications, they were just trying to get to know each other while their personal lives went to hell.

There were breakups, makeups, passive aggressions, avoidance, and even a few rounds of silent treatments.

But there was a reason they always came back. Because, late at night, when they mulled over their loss, it wasn’t the bad things that they thought of - it was the good, the pure, and the four letter word on the tip of their tongue that brought them back to each other’s doorstep time and time again.

Because, when they were good, they were amazing.

Ethan loved to send MC flowers.

Before MC, he had never been the kind of man who sent flowers. They were messy, impermanent, and hard to enjoy when you spent all your time at work.

But one time, MC said she mentioned that she liked buying flowers because they allowed her to enjoy a piece of nature, even when she spent her whole day inside the hospital.

The first time he sent them, Ethan had made a real ass out of himself. He said something stupid at dinner, which lead to a fight. He had already worked it out with MC, and though she assured him it was alright, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed to do something to prove that he wasn’t such a jerk. On impulse, he ordered 2 dozen roses to be sent to her apartment.

When she got home to her roommates crowding around the prettiest rose bouquet she had ever seen, it didn’t even cross her mind that it could be for her - not until Elijah supplied the card addressed to her from a secret admirer.

Once she was alone, MC called Ethan to make sure it was really him. She couldn’t imagine him willingly ordering such a romantic gift, but she also couldn’t picture someone else giving it to her.

When she asked him if he bought the flowers, he tensed, afraid he’d accidentally risked their secrecy by sending it to her home, but he anxiously admitted that he did and asked if she liked them.

And when she said she loved them... he felt a feeling so unfamiliar he couldn’t classify it. He was so proud to be the one who sent them and so happy that he found a way to make her smile when he so often felt like he was always messing up with her. Right then, he knew this wouldn’t be the last time he sent her flowers.

And it wasn’t. He regularly sent her bouquets and only let up a little when her roommates became suspicious. Once, when MC was alone in his apartment dog sitting Jenner, he had a massive flower arrangement delivered to her with just the message “I miss you.”

To accommodate their busy schedules, date night usually meant going back to Ethan’s apartment with takeout, but after one too many nights of Thai delivery, Ethan decided to teach MC how to cook.

He was startled to realize she had absolutely no idea how to cook. How had she gotten this far into adulthood without this basic skill? Every week, he had a new recipe for them to try, and he would walk her through all the steps.

When Ethan concentrated on cooking, he got these little lines between his eyebrows. MC thought they were cute. Sometimes, she would smooth them out with her thumb to remind him to relax. Other times, she would kiss them. When she did that, he always became distracted. Once, he almost cut his hand because he was so wrapped up in her.

Ethan pretended to find this annoying, but whenever she did it, he showed a small smile that gave him away.

Their fights were usually brutal. They were both so smart and so stubborn that the fights became unwinnable.

And probably because of that, their debates were practically a force of nature.

More than once, they spent a whole Saturday afternoon half naked in Ethan’s apartment and debating the finer points of medical ethics or treatments for patients. They usually could reach an agreement, except when they debated pineapple on pizza.

They pushed each other.

They made each other better doctors for having worked together and better people for having known each other.

Perhaps more importantly, they cared about each other. Even when they were locked in a disagreement or feigning disinterest, they cared. If the other needed them, they were there.

They needed each other more than they would admit. Very quickly, MC became Ethan's rock as they treated Naveen. She was the only one who could understand what he was going through.

MC was nervous to tell Ethan about being sabotaged at work. She didn't want him to think of her as the kind of person who blamed someone else for her mistakes, but when Landry was exposed as a traitor, she was devastated and just wanted Ethan to comfort her.

When he found out all that Landry did, Ethan was furious. Beyond hurting his girlfriend, he had endangered dozens of patients and the stability of the whole hospital.

But he was also hurt that MC hadn't told him.

Ethan realized that he wanted to be the person she shared her problems with. He wanted to be her person, just like she was his.

MC was surprised that, when it came to someone insulting or hurting her, Ethan was always on her side - even when she was equally as guilty. Once, MC complained that an attending made a sexist, offhand comment during rounds. Ethan never liked that attending again. When someone hit on MC and made her uncomfortable when they were at a bar together, Ethan told him off and forced him to leave.

Ethan was equally surprised by how jealous MC could get. He rarely noticed when women flirted with him, so it took him a few months to detect MC's jealousy. The first time he saw it, they were having a drink at a bar. A woman was very shamelessly coming onto him, though she didn't get much of Ethan's attention, but MC looked furious. Every time the woman came over to talk to them, MC moved just a little bit closer until she was almost in his lap.

When he took MC home, he commented on it, assuring her that he was only there for her, but MC grumbled that it happened all the time and that he didn't notice.

So, he started paying attention, and wow, it happened way more often than he thought. Even patients flirted with him, earning a glare from MC.

Once, when Ethan and MC were in the middle of a really big fight, Ethan caught MC staring at him at Donahue’s. To get a rise out of her, Ethan started flirting with the woman sitting a few seats down at the bar. MC was outraged. Thirty minutes later, when he got up to leave, MC followed him out, and they yelled at each other in the ally. And then they made out in the ally and had sex in the back of his car.

The next morning, they acted like nothing happened at work.

In fact, that was usually how they acted at work.

But at the beginning of their relationship, there were plenty of cute moments to be had at Edenbrook.

Like when their hands would accidentally brush when looking over a chart. Or when Ethan's breath hit her neck when he looked over her shoulder to see if she was doing something right. Or secret meetings in his office under the guise of needing to talk about a patient.

But MC thought the sweetest moments where the ones when he would see her coming down the hall, and just for a second, his face soften and warm to her. Almost immediately after, his face would harden again as he got back to work. But in that short little moment, MC knew she made him happy.

Keeping the secret was so hard, especially when MC was always under the watchful eyes of her roommates and friends. 

They were all convinced she was in love with someone and joked that she had a secret boyfriend. MC laughed along, but they never actually thought it was Dr. Ramsey.

To make it a little less obvious, she always joined in when they complained about him. 

Ethan noticed and rolled his eyes, but he didn’t stop her. 

The only person who noticed in Ethan’s life was Naveen, but Ethan skillfully dodged the question whenever he could.

However, they had almost been caught so many times, in and out of the hospital. Even at the farmer’s market, they weren’t safe from a coworker finding them and innocently approaching. 

MC always looked around before she kissed him, and Ethan had to be at least 5 miles from the hospital to show any display of affection, not that he particularly liked public displays of affection in the first place.

MC knew that she loved Ethan before she even really knew him, which was terrifying. She worried that, one day, she would learn some horrible fact or realize some unforgiveable trait. Ethan, on the other hand, never imagined that MC would become ruined in his eyes. He didn't think she could. No, he worried that he would be the one to make the mistake.

Both them harbored a lot of insecurities in their relationship - insecurities that held them back.

When they shed them, even just for the night, it was incredible.

Some of the best nights were spent wine-drunk, oversharing hundreds of little details that shaped who they were. MC liked hearing about Ethan's childhood, and she frequently needled him about his mysterious past relationship with Harper. Ethan wanted to know everything about her adult life before him, even when it included ex-boyfriends he instinctively hated.

When their relationship settled into comfortable, stable commitment, they still had nights like that.

Even when they moved in together, they sometimes picked out a bottle of wine, finished the whole thing, and spent the second bottle of wine sharing stories and experiences.

That was when it felt real. That was what reminded them that this was magic - that this was love.

@stateofgracious I think this was kinda cute, so maybe I can do some cute ones  🤞

[sparkleofpizza]

Burn book - Tim Drake x reader

A/n: hey guys, so I’ve had this idea in my mind for a while now, since I watched Mean Girls on October 3 and I thought it would be nice to finally write it and see how goes. Hope you like it!

Warning: the names Bradley, Valerie and Carmen are all made up names to fit in the story. Language, mentions of blood and violence.

Requested: no

Summary: Y/n grows suspicious of her boyfriend activities, something happens at school that only fufil her suspicions.

Word count: 2.368

A movie scene. Your school looked like a movie scene right now. A scene from a movie you’ve seen countless times before. 

You stood at the top of the stairs, arms crossed watching the scene unfold in front of you. Lips slightly parted as a small laugh escaped your throat. You felt like Regina George watching everyone go crazy after their secrets got spilled.

Someone had decided it would be funny to recreate the Burn Book from Mean Girls, and printed the pages trowing them at the hallways for everyone to see. Everyone’s secrets were on those pages and you were a bit afraid that somehow it said something about you - although you didn’t have any secret that would make you want to dig a hole and bury yourself into it.

Everything was a bit funny until you realized that it wasn’t so cool at all. You were enjoining seeing things in real life like one of your favorite movies of all times, but things took an aggressive turn when you saw people punching each other. Suddenly you felt very uncomfortable being in there. It wasn’t cool to spill people’s secrets like that.

You reached for your phone on your pocket, deciding to text your boyfriend Tim, trying to know where he is. It would make you feel a lot more comfortable having him by your side. But you didn’t even know if he was at school at all, lately he was very absent and distant, making you wonder if you did something wrong. Even his brothers seemed to be ignoring you. 

Someone yanked you by your arm, dragging you and making you stumble down the stairs, falling to your knees. Bradley Walters hovered over you, face red from anger as he gripped tightly on your arm, you knew there would be a bruise there tomorrow. You were honestly scared, you sometimes hung out together and got along very well since he was part of the football team and you were a cheerio. 

“How could you not tell me?” He yelled, pulling you up so you were face to face “You knew Valerie is into girls and you still let me make a fool out of myself trying to get her to date me! You’re such a bitch!”

You yelped helplessly as you knew no one was coming to your rescue since everyone was too busy fighting with each other to even notice Bradley being a jerk. 

“I- It wasn’t my place to tell you!” You replied, trying to reason with him “I couldn’t out her to you, she was’t ready to tell anyone yet.”

“Then how come you knew?!”

“She’s my best friend, I was the first one to know!”

Bradley huffed, letting go of you only to shove you against the lockers and walk past you. You massaged your shoulder, trying to ease the pain from the impact of hitting the lockers. You had to get out of there before things got out of control.

You walked past people, trying to blend in and not call unwanted attention. Hearing stuff like teachers hooking up with students was honestly disturbing. The principal was trying to calm everyone down, but no one was having any of it, they wanted caos. They wanted to get at each others throats and demand explanations out the secrets that were out there.

Carmen Diaz showed up in front of you, yelling because she had just found out you were the reason why she was cut out of the cheerios, because you had told the captain she was flirting with her boyfriend. At that point, you were regretting every gossip you had ever made as you swiftly left the girl hanging and yelling on her own. 

But as you left Carmen behind, you saw it. You saw something you wish you had never did, but at the same time it made so much sense. Everything just clicked together in your head. The absence, being ignored, leaving early and ditching you lately, it all made perfect sense. You grabbed the fallen paper, examining it in your hands. 

Sweet Tim Drake and nice Stephanie Brown are two cheap cheaters. Jerk and hoe. 

And bellow it there was a photo of the two of them. 

You felt your heart shatter at this. Stephanie was one of your closest friends, but apparently she wasn’t your friend after all. And Tim, you didn’t even know what to think of him. You always thought he would never ever break your heart, but he did, and he did the last thing you excepted him to do, but it made so much sense now. Everyone knew, all of his brothers and probably his friends that became your friends knew as well, and they left you in the dark, left you to keep making a fool out of yourself. 

There was tears pricking in your eyes, but you refused to cry in front of all of this people. Too engrossed in your own sad thoughts you didn’t see a flying bottle made of glass, aimed to someone else, but that hit you straight in the head, soaking you in both water and blood as it shattered, making you fall backwards and loose your senses for a while.

Oh God, how did all this shit happened?

After way too many accidents like yours happened, the police finally arrived at Gotham Academy, restoring the peace. You watched Tim’s older brother Dick talking to some of the students and you knew all of his brothers were probably there, because they always showed up at things like this. You walked out of school trying not to get attention to you, but it was kind of hard since there was a lot of blood coming out of your forehead and you were way too light headed. 

Your presence, however, did not go unnoticed as Tim’s best friend was the first one to see you, being in front of you in a blink of an eye. Conner Kent eyes were wide when he saw you. 

“Y/N, holy shit! I didn’t think the situation at school was this bad! We need to get you to the hospital, you’re bleeding too much!” He gently grabbed you by your shoulders and started guiding you towards people “Tim is over there, he’s worried sick about you when you didn’t answer your phone. We weren’t in school today and...”

He stopped talking when you abruptly stopped walking. He glanced at you, worried that maybe you were going to pass out from blood loss.

“I don’t want to see Tim.” You whispered

“What?” He frowned

“I said that I don’t want to see Tim. Ever again. Or you, or any of you ever again. Fuck off and leave me alone. You’re all a bunch of liars!”

You stumbled away from him, trying to find someone else to take you to the hospital. Honestly, right now, you pretty much rather pass out on the floor than take any of their help. 

But that was when Tim saw you, and damn didn’t that make his heart beat too fast out of panic because of the way you looked. Your skin too pale, a hand shaped bruise on your arm, your white uniform blouse stained in red and oh, the amount of blood in your forehead. Before he knew it, he was sprinting towards you, pulling you in his arms. He was so grateful you were safe, and now you were with him so nothing else was going to happen to you, he is going to take you to the hospital and then he’s not leaving your side.

You struggled against his grip, making him release you as he though he might has been hurting you, maybe there were others injuries. But there was hurt and betrayal in your eyes, aside from the tears. You did not look happy to see him at all.

“Sweetheart...”

“Don’t.” You cut him off “You’re free to be with her, I’m breaking up with you.” 

Tim opened and close his mouth. Too shocked and confused to even say something. Be with who? Why were you breaking up with him? What did he do? What actually happened inside of the school? He only snapped out of it when he saw you leaving, running right back to you, holding you in place.

“What- What are you talking about?”

“Go be with Stephanie, you don’t have to sneak behind my back anymore. I already know about the two of you. From all the things I excepted when you started drifting away from me, being a cheater wasn’t one of them.”

“I- Y/N I didn’t cheat on you! I could never to do that! Look, you’ve lost too much blood and you’re not thinking straight. Come on, let me take you to the hospital.”

He was desperate, trying to understand what was going on. Did he neglect you so much this past month that it made you doubt his love for you? He loves you more than anything else in this world, he would do literally anything for you, so what did he do wrong for you to stop believing in it?

You dryly chuckled, shoving a paper in his hands before stumbling away from him as he read what was written in it.

Tim tried calling, tried texting, FaceTiming, visiting, but nothing. You wanted nothing to do with him. He just hoped you would give him a chance to explain himself, to tell you everything and by everything he means including the fact that he’s Red Robin and that’s why he’s been absent and also about that picture.

Conner tried to stop by to convince you to talk to Tim and fix things up, but you ended up slamming the door at his face.

Figuring enough is enough, after almost a month you decided to let Tim explain himself. You were hurting way too much and honestly just wanted to move on, but you couldn’t if you didn’t properly end it. So on a Friday, for the first time, you looked him in the face as you walked past him on the hallway. You actually acknowledged his presence during Biology and even offered you the tiniest of smiles. You told Valerie she could stop glaring at Stephanie and being mean all the time. So he knew you were ready to talk.

After school he went straight to your apartament. Knocking on the door and hoping he didn’t get the wrong signals today at school, but when you opened the door for him, for the first time, he felt relief wash over him.

“Hi.” He said awkwardly “Thanks for... opening the door.”

You nodded your head, letting him in before closing the door and sitting on the couch across from him.

You couldn’t help but notice how tired he look, with bags under his eyes and a even paler face than ever. Was he hurting just as much as you were? It kind felt impossible, he had Stephanie, why would he be sad?

“I am so so so sorry for the way I treated you lately. I never thought it would lead you to believing I didn’t love you anymore or that I could cheat on you.” Tim started, fighthing back the urge to wrap his arms around you when he saw tears in eyes “Sweetheart, you’re the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I love you more than anything. I could never cheat on you, nothing happened between me and Stephanie, we’re just friends.”

“How can you expect me to believe in you when all you ever did lately was ditch me?” Your voice sounded so broken, he himself started crying

“The reason why I’ve been so distant lately is because I am Red Robin.” He said

You stood still, staring at him like he had grown a second head. Tim Drake, your ex-boyfriend, was Red Robin? He worked with Batman. Tim Drake, the same boy standing in front of you, fought bad guys every night to make the city safer.

“I’m sorry, what?”

He pulled out a domino mask out of his jeans pocket, holding it up to his face, right at his eyes and you sucked in a breath. Holy shit, he is Red Robin.

“Stephanie and I are just friends, Y/N. We work together as vigilants, but nothing more than this. You’re the one that I want, the one that I love. You’re the first person I think about when I wake up, and the last person I think about before going to sleep. Everytime I’m fighting some bad guy I keep thinking I have someone to come home to, and that someone is you.”

You sobbed, trowing yourself in his arms, allowing him to hold you. You buried your head in his chest as arms went around your waist, carresing your sides. Tim kissed the top of yout head, feeling at ease after a long month. He ached to have you back in his arms and he never planned on letting you go.

“I’m so sorry I doubted you.” You sobbed into his chest

“Hey, this is not yout fault.” He lifted up your chin so you were looking in his eyes “This is all on me and I primise to make it up to you everyday for the rest of our lives, if you take me back.”

You nodded your head, standing on your tip toes to press your lips against his. It’s been a long month and all you wanted to do was to make up for the time you’ve missed with him.

You both layed on the couch, you pressed against his chest and tangled legs.

“Whoever did this burn book is a bitch.” You said quietly, drawing patterns on his biceps

“Yes, everything is still a chaos. And you never told me how you managed to get that amount of bruises beside the bottle of water that was an accident.”

“Oh, Bradley Walters did that to me. I though you knew?”

“What?!” Tim exclaimed, tighining his arms around you “I guess I’m paying him a visit during patrol tonight.”

You chuckled, kissing his jaw. Everything was falling back to place

[uniqueimagines]

No Hiding These Marks

Paring: Sweet Pea x Reader

Requested: Yes, “can I have a long one with sweet pea? something along the lines of him being jealous and getting angry, then showing his feelings to his friends and they're all really surprised because obviously its sweet pea haha. and I'll leave the rest up to you?” @yznggoddess

Description: While you are trying to plan the perfect surprise initiation and sex night with Pea he gets so jealous it even surprises his best friends. Luckily neither of you let that ruin your night.

Warnings: Cursing, Smut

Word count: 1828

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Sweet Pea and you had been dating for six months and you were best friends with Toni and Fangs. While you had lived on the southside since birth you were a year younger than your three closest friends and haven’t yet became an official Serpent. Everyone knew of you and Sweets as the nearly perfect couple. Since the moment you two became official you to are always together and neither of you is shy about the PDA. Everyone assumes that the two of you are constantly having sex, Toni and Fangs are the only two that know you and Pea haven’t had sex yet. It wasn’t that you two didn’t do sexual stuff, in fact there is only really one thing you two haven’t done. You have had a few guys in your past leave once they got it and it made you a bit nervous Pea might too.

Pea was a very flirty and sexual person so everyone assumed you two had been doing it since the moment you got together if not before. Sweet Pea didn’t mind that the two of you hadn’t had sex, he enjoyed what you did do and understood your reasons for wanting to wait. While most people believed he was a big flirt and slept around without any feelings he was actually very sensitive and kind. Sweet Pea knew why you wanted to wait and what had happened in all your past relationships but he didn’t know what you had planning for your birthday in two days.

Toni and Fangs have been helping you talk to FP and get everything ready to do the serpent dance and get your tattoo and jacket to make it official. You were extremely excited and also planned to surprise Sweets after the dance and everything by taking him home for some fun. Fangs had helped you set up the tattoo, jacket and dance with FP and Toni helped you pick out outfits and let you practice some of your dance moves. You had made everyone promise to keep it a secret that you were planning all this so you could surprise Pea. Your birthday fell on a Friday which was perfect so you can spend the whole weekend with Sweet after it all becomes official.

Due to planning you had been spending a lot less time with Sweet Pea and it was starting to get to him. When the two of you got to the bar around 8 you kissed Pea on the cheek and walked over to talk to FP. While Sweet Pea knew deep down that he had no reason to be jealous and that FP was absolutely no threat to him it still pissed him off when he saw you standing on your toes to whisper in his ear. Sweet Pea is standing beside the pool table with Fangs and Toni as he stares at you and FP. You nod giggling as FP brushes his hand over your ribs under your arm just behind your boob. You two were talking about how you wanted your tattoo in the same place as Toni’s.

When FP brushes his hand over your ribs Sweet Pea losses it throwing the pool stick he was holding onto the table before beginning to stomp in your direction. Before he can get more than a couple of feet away Fangs grabs his arm tight pulling him backwards. Quickly spinning around Pea glares at Fangs with a clenched jaw and growls, “Let. Me. Go.” “What the hell is wrong with you?” Fangs asks confused by Pea’s rage. “She’s spending all her fucking time with FP. What is he fucking her and that's why she doesn’t wanna sleep with me?” Pea’s voice comes out as a low groan. Toni and Fangs can't help but let out a small laugh, “Pea, we have been helping her set up this surprise, for you…” Toni gives him a small smile pointing up to the sage as the song changes and you walk on.

Pea turns looking at you as you begin to slowly dance around the pole your eyes never leaving his. His jaw drops and he relaxes a little realizing you aren’t cheating you were preparing to become a Serpent. “She’s spent weeks planning out tonight for you wanting to make it extra special.” Fangs gives Pea a small pat on the back walking away not really interested in watching you as you begin to unbutton your top to reveal a black corset bra top that is accented with dark green lace. “We didn’t think you would get so jealous and pissed off… Don’t let that ruin this for her, nobody is taking her but if you ruin her surprise for you… well you may push her away.” Toni gives him a small smile and walks off to play pool with Fangs.

Sweet Pea takes a deep breath and sighs knowing they are right and that he was irrational when he got upset. This was the first real relationship he had been in that lasted longer than a couple weeks and he was afraid of losing you like he did everyone else and he let those feelings get the best of him. As Pea relaxes be bites his lip watching as you bend over sliding your jeans down your legs showing off your matching lace thong. Fangs and Toni give occasional looks to Pea in fears that the whole bar watching you may cause him to get jealous again. Sweet Pea and you don't break eye contact the entire dance.

When the song ends Pea claps loudly and gives you a big smile. FP walks on stage as everyone in the bar is clapping for you and hands you simple black dress you had brought that was easy to throw on. After you pull the dress over your head FP helps you slide your arms into your serpent jacket. Pea makes his way to the side of the stage and lifts you up and spins you around as he hugs you. “You did so good baby. You are so sexy.” he whispers and kisses your cheek.  “Thank you. Will you sit with me to get my tattoo before we go home?” you look up at him as he sets you down.  “Of course.” Pea chuckles.

You run to the bathroom changing into plain black bralette that didn’t cover the area for the tattoo and put your jeans back on along with a cutoff t-shirt. You sit straddling a chair and hold Pea’s hands with earbuds in during your tattoo. Once the tattoo is done and you say your goodbyes you and Pea head back to his trailer. When he pulls up and turns off his bike you hop off standing beside it as he steps off. You bite your lip pulling at the sleeves of your jacket a bit nervous. “Toni told me you got a little jealous. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I hope I can make it up to you tonight.” “Don’t apologize. I shouldn’t have let the anger get the best of me, I just don’t wanna lose you. I love you.”

You stand on your toes and kiss his cheek, “I love you too. Now that the mushy feelings are over can you take me inside and fuck me.” Sweet Pea’s eyes get wide with surprise and he bites his lip loving how blunt you were. “Really?” You nod and laugh lightly at how giddy Pea is. “Fuck yes I will.” Pea reaches behind your thighs and lifts you with a firm grip on your ass. You wrap your legs around his waist as he quickly unlocks the trailer and takes you straight to the bedroom barely caring enough to kick the front door closed.

When he makes it to the room he drops you onto the bed and pulls off his shirt. You quickly pull yours off careful of the bandage on your ribs as you pull off your bra. Sweets lets out a low growl and bites his lip watching as your nipples get hard when the cool air hits them. You groan pulling on his belt loops as the look of him shirtless and the bulge growing in his jeans makes you wet. “Someone's desperate.” Pea chuckles but doesn't waste time pushing his jeans and boxers down stepping out of them. When his long erection springs free you let out a small desperate moan and quickly push your own jeans and panties down.

“Pea hurry up and fuck me. I need you.” As he listens to you beg and plead he quickly grabs a condom sliding it down his hard cock before crawling over you and lining up with your entrance. “Ready baby?” Pea asks and chuckles as your only response is another desperate moan and pushing your hips forward so the tip brushes your dripping entrance. Sweet Pea slides in at a painfully slow pace until he is fully inside you. You tense a bit around him as he stretches you out. “Pea I love your soft side but for the love of everything fuck me please,” You groan leaning up and kissing his chest. “As you wish.”

Sweet Pea grabs your hips tight pulling out and quickly slamming back inside you as he begins a quick and aggressive pace. Arching your back into the bed you grip the sheets, everytime he slams into you he hits you g-spot with more force than the last thrust. “Mmh fuck Pea.” You moan quietly dragging your nails down Pea’s back hard enough to leave marks. As your nails dig into his skin his grip tightens on you hips to the point it will surely be bruised by tomorrow. As you begin to get closer to your high your walls tense around his cock making him let out a loud moan.

“Pea I’m… I’m so close baby.” Your words are barely audible as you moan close to his ear. Pea sucks on your weak spot behind your ear and moves one of his hands to rub your clit. Within seconds you are sent over the edge and you tense around him again as you climax and sends him to his climax as well. His thrusts slow and soften and he thrusts a few more times to ride out both of your highs before pulling out. Pea pulls off the condom and tosses it in the trash bin cleaning himself up while you catch your breath. “I love you.” Sweet Pea kisses your lips softly before you stand to use the restroom. As you walk into the bathroom nude you see the hickey behind your ear and the already forming red bruised finger marks on both hips and laugh, “Well Pea if everyone didn’t already assume we are having sex before they all know now. No hiding these marks.” You hear Pea laugh lightly and clean up before laying down the both of you quickly falling asleep.

Masterlist

[onlyinmyimagination]

Love is Blind

Jason Todd X Reader

This did not turn out how I wanted at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe I’ll attempt a rewrite in the future but right now I am so tired of this story. I sincerely hope you guys like it more than I do. I’m so done.

Very loosely based on this prompt: “As a dating company professional, I never thought that I’d be able to match you with anyone because honestly, you’re such a terrible human being. But, in our search we found someone who fits your profile, and since you paid us to help you find a match, here is their information. God Help us.“

Also inspired by those social media au posts that float around the fandom. those are bomb af.

Genre: Romance, fluff I guess idk

Sorta social media au/celebrity au??? idk (someone tell me what kind of AU you think this is)

Warnings: Some foul language.

.

It started when Jason needed to quickly get a date to a launch party of some clothing brand by Wayne Enterprises (he never really cares for whatever new business venture Bruce Wayne busies himself with). He was supposed to glam it up with a partner at his side but he had put it off until the very last minute. His solution was to call up a reputable dating company because he simply didn’t have the time to screen the potential candidates on Tinder. And just like that, you were the dating professional assigned to him and he became your client.  

He hadn’t been the politest over the phone. He had been curt, a little aggressive, and much too particular about his preferences. Right away you knew he was trouble. But you resolved to do your best and stay professional. You had to compile his profile quickly and it was then that you found out that your newest client is a local celebrity. Hearing the name Jason Todd over the phone didn’t ring any bells at the time, but upon further research on your client you knew he’d be a challenge.

He had said he needed a date in less than a week and to his relief, you were able to meet him the next day with a potential match. Upon seeing your client in person you realized why his demands were so high. Not only is he the son of a billionaire, he’s also ridiculously good-looking and oddly intimidating. It must’ve been hard to find a suitable partner all by himself.

He had introduced himself, even though you knew very well who he was. He didn’t have as much attitude as he did over the phone, and he didn’t act as haughty as you expected him to be. With a practiced script and a customer service smile plastered on your lips, you invited him to sit at a nearby café while you reviewed the file of his potential partner with him.

He took the information with satisfaction and thanked you for your time. Unfortunately he didn’t last long with the match you found him, and you got another call from him a few weeks later. He needed another partner for an upcoming gala. And thus, the cycle continued to repeat itself, with your patience wearing thin and professionalism quickly dissipating with a few months. Before you met Jason Todd Wayne you’ve had a near perfect reputation, with an almost one hundred percent success rate with your clients. But he was ruining your reputation and it upset you tremendously.

“Jason, did you seriously ditch her last night?”

“It’s not what you think!”

“What do you...” you pause to take a deep breath and calm yourself.  You continue, “You literally ditched her at a party you brought her to.”

“Yeah, but for a good reason!”

“And what reason would that be?”

“Uhhh...I can’t say. But it really was a good reason!”

You give a skeptical look. “Did you even call her afterwards? Did you even think to apologize for leaving her alone?”

“...No. I got a little sidetracked, but I’ll do it right now!”

“She doesn’t want to see you again. I doubt she’ll want to talk to you.”

“Well that’s her loss.”

“Is it really, though,” you mutter to yourself.

“She seemed more than happy with me last night.” Then he adds, “Before I left her anyway.”

“What a coincidence—she said the same thing to me. I painstakingly searched through hundreds of files for her, and this is what you do? After you messed up all those other dates, it’s been near impossible digging up more matches for you.”

“I know, I know. I’m an asshole. But I also know you’ll find me another date in time for Bruce Wayne’s next big gala.”

“Can you at least try to be nice,” you say while shaking your head and rummaging through your files. “Nicer, I mean. I’m trying to find a potential lifelong partner for you here.”

“No guarantees, cupid.”

You eye him as you press your lips into a thin line. “I found a realtor who lives less than an hour away. Her profile is similar to your past matches and she seemed like she’d be able to put up with you. Realtors tend to have a lot of patience. Very admirable.”

“That’s pretty cold of you to say.”

“At this point, the one I feel sorry for is her.”

“Brrr...chilly.”

“From all the complaints I’ve been getting, you’re not exactly the easiest to be around.”

“You’re holding up just fine.”

“It’s part of my job.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that we’ve hung out longer than I’ve dated any of the partners you’ve set me up with. Technically you could say,” he says slowly, suggestively, “I’ve been on more dates with you than any of those matches of yours.”

“Like any of that is my fault. You get dumped after one date almost every time and I’ve got to set up a new match for you in time for your next big party.”

“Why don’t you just be my date from now on?”

“Not gonna happen. I don’t get involved with my clients.”

“A little uptight, aren’t you?”

“If you’re just going to pester me about how I do my job, then this meeting is over. I’ll see you in a week after this next one dumps you.”

“That’s ice cold.”

“We’ll see what happens in a week.” You plaster a professional smile on your face as you bid him goodbye but once you turn around you bite your lip anxiously. You didn’t want to admit his nonchalant invitation to be his date made your chest squeeze. Just the slightest interest toward you has you feeling a little too giddy even when you keep reminding yourself how much of a jerk he is. The more he flirts with you, the harder it is to stay professional. You feel awful and guilty about it, but you don’t get many chances to feel this way.  

Being a professional matchmaker left you on the sidelines as you constantly watch couples meet and fall in love. Finding love for yourself just seemed to be out of reach for you when you’re busy finding love for other people. And pursuing romance with Jason Todd is entirely out of the question. It became impossible the moment he became your client. So, you vow to keep him at a distance.

Just as you had predicted, a week passes and Jason Todd Wayne contacts you again for another meeting to discuss another partner.

You glance at the time and see that he’s twenty minutes late. You roll your eyes at this. It’s nothing new. His lack of punctuality is part of the reason his dates got so fed up with him. Bored, you scan your surroundings and see an ice cream shop next to the café. Seeing no harm in getting yourself a treat, you buy a scoop of your favorite flavor. You choose the cone over the cup to savor your treat. The purchase takes only a few minutes and you’re soon back at your meeting spot, with still no sign of Jason, of course. It’s a few more minutes later when you hear your name being called.

Pausing mid-bite, you turn to see Jason and don’t bother with a greeting. “See? What’d I tell you? It’s been a week.”

He chooses to ignore your jab and says, “Is that ice cream? You bought ice cream without me?” You’re caught off guard for a moment and you open your mouth to answer but he continues childishly, “Let me have some.” His hand is suddenly around your hand that’s holding the ice cream cone, and he’s guiding it to his mouth.

You’re fumbling over your words as he takes a bite and you finally say, “Go get your own!” You snatch your hand out of his grasp and gesture to the ice cream shop. He licks the ice cream from his lips as he looks over to the shop. That’s when you see the side of his face where a greenish-yellow bruise adorns the outer corner of his eye, just below his eyebrow.  

“What the hell? That was not there last week” you say, lifting a hand as if to touch his face. Then you realize what you’re doing and drop your hand again. “That looks bad. Did you ice it?”

“I did. But you should’ve seen it last night, it was so much worse,” he says good-humoredly but then clamps his mouth shut as if he had just revealed a secret.

“I don’t even want to know,” you remark with a shake of your head. You had heard about Jason’s mysterious bruises and wounds, but you never saw them on the visible parts of his body. Your clients on the other hand had often complained about him showing up with mysterious injuries, suspecting him of getting into brawls, fooling around with other lovers, and God knows what. You understand now why they chose to break up with him. Showing up with serious injuries and refusing to offer an explanation as to how he got them (or making some outlandish lie) would make anyone in his company uncomfortable. It’s disconcerting. But the longer you stare at his bruised face, the more you pity him. “Let’s just get you some ice cream.”

“For my face?” His fingers lightly brush over his bruise.

“I was thinking for your mouth or your stomach.”

He laughs and makes his way into the ice cream store. “What flavor should I get?” he asks as you follow him inside.

“Just get your favorite flavor,” you suggest curtly.

“But that’s boring. Predictable.”

You roll your eyes. “Then try a new flavor.”

“What if I don’t like it?”

You act annoyed to keep up a withdrawn attitude toward him. But if you didn’t know better, he seems like he’s biding his time on purpose and you can’t help but wonder why. “Please just choose something, Jason.”

He’s not fazed by your snippy attitude and asks, “You don’t want to share with me?” He stuffs his hands into his pockets as he examines the choices beneath the glass.

“You can share with your next date partner,” you suggest as you continue consuming your treat. He narrows his eyes at you and you hide your smile behind your ice cream.

“You’re no fun,” he mumbles.

It takes an agonizingly long time with a lot of back and forth between you before he could successfully pick a flavor. Then, in an unexpected turn of events, you both end up walking around while finishing your cold treats. You discuss the next profile with him as you both stroll leisurely through a shopping center. During this time, you find Jason isn’t all that bad. The complaints about him have been mostly regarding his carelessness after all, rather than his attitude. But you hate that you find him so charming. As if his good looks didn’t make you curse him enough already.  

The next time you see Jason is after a few weeks and you’ve agreed to meet at a local bookstore. You’re not surprised to find that once again, Jason is late and nowhere to be seen. While skimming the shelves, a book catches your eye and you flip through it curiously.  

“That book isn’t very interesting.”  

You turn to the familiar voice and shut the book. “Then what do you recommend?” you ask lightly, remembering that reading is listed as one of his hobbies.

“Well, you can’t go wrong with the classics.”

“Classics? As in?” you prod with a raised brow.

“Well there’s Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters,” he says. “What kind of stories do you like? Or do you like poetry? Plays?”

You hadn’t expected him to ask so much about your interests. But you remind yourself to stay professional, so you steer the conversation to the purpose of the meeting. “We can discuss books next time. I have another client’s profile for you.”

“Still as uptight as ever. Thought you eased up a little since we last met.”

“It was...a unique occasion. I won’t let it happen again,” you say while turning away in case your face gives anything away.

“So I have to get knocked around a little for you to be nice to me?”

“I am nice to you,” you say indignantly. “I’m just trying to do my job and find suitable partners for you.”

“Alright, cupid. Then who do you have for me today?” he asks with annoyance, holding out his hand for the file. He acts almost... sulky.

You hand him a folder and he flips through it quickly. You explain, “They live almost two hours away but—”  

“Too far,” he states as he closes the folder and gives it back to you. His dismissive attitude stuns you and you look back at him with a bewildered expression. Jason had never declined the potential partners you’ve presented to him before. Then he says, “Can’t you just be my date from now on, cupid?”

You blink and take a moment to gather yourself. “I told you, I don’t get involved with my clients.”

"What do I have to do to get a date with you? Am I supposed to fire you? Even for me, that’s kind of a douche-y thing to do.”

Your breath still at this. The thought of being fired distresses you, but at the same time, Jason’s intention behind his words has your heart racing.

“Are you serious?” you ask.

“Yeah. You gotta admit we have fun together, right? And don’t say it’s because it’s your job.” He is interrupted when his phone suddenly goes off and he takes out the device as if he had just gotten an important notification. You cross your arms while waiting for his attention to return to the conversation. As he scrolls through his phone, you wonder fleetingly if he’s simply just tired of all his failed partners you’ve matched him with. “Listen, I gotta run,” he says while stuffing his phone back in his pocket. “But how about we meet again tomorrow? Are you free?” Realizing he’s ready to speed off, you stop him with a pointed finger.

“Hold it right there! You can’t just ditch our meeting today!”

“But—but it’s an emergency!” he insists.

“Then come back after!” you reply. “If you really need to talk to me then meet me in front of the library at eight tonight. That’s where I’m meeting my last client today and I should be done by then. Will you be able to come?”

“Uh, I guess I could do that.” He looks unsure as he glances at the time.

“Try, Jason. I have meetings with other clients tomorrow so unless you can wait a few more days, that’s the best I can do.”

“Okay, okay. Tonight in front of the library, got it.”

You don’t manage to get another word in as he takes his leave. This must be the infamous disappearance act where he just ups and leaves, ditching his partners. Despite being annoyed with his flaky attitude, you’re more bothered by the conversation that just transpired. Did he really want to fire you?  

Regardless of whether he fires you or you resign as his matchmaker, you aren’t even sure it would work out with Jason if you agree to a date him. You didn’t exactly approve of his attitude after all, and who’s to say the relationship would last? You wouldn’t even be able to go back to being matchmaker and client if you ended up breaking it off, and then you would have no reason to contact him again. The thought leaves you feeling strangely forlorn, so you push the thoughts away and continue your day.

Later that night you bid your last client goodbye and you loiter around the supposed meeting spot. As expected, Jason is nowhere to be seen, and you lazily sit on the cement planters in front of the library to wait for him. After thirty minutes, you toy with the idea of calling him. But you conclude that he’s just being his usual self.  

While waiting, you pass the time on your phone. You visit Jason’s Instagram profile, telling yourself the action is strictly professional and for the sake of research. You notice a post from yesterday. It’s a picture of a playbill for A Midsummer Night’s Dream. He must’ve gone to see the play locally. You scroll down a bit to read the accompanying caption he wrote:  

“Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

“Cupid, huh,” you mutter under your breath. The post has half a million likes and hundreds of comments, most of which are heart emojis. Did Gotham even have that many people in it? You don’t dwell on it too long and proceed to add the activity to his dating profile.

It’s another thirty minutes later when a noise behind you draws your attention and makes you flinch. It sounded like a thud, like something had fallen.  

“Why are you still here?” a voice asks, and you turn to face the infamous vigilante in the red helmet. “It’s late. You should be home.”

Red Hood is addressing you and it stuns you. But you’re distracted by the way he slowly staggers forward while leaning on the side of the building for support. This guy is not in the best shape.

“I’m supposed to be meeting someone,” you say unsurely as you stand. Not many people have had the opportunity to converse with Gotham’s vigilantes. Not as common an occurrence as one would think. “Am I not supposed to be here? Um, should I go?” You can’t help but dwell on his wording, the way he had phrased his words. A sudden thought creeps into the back of your mind that you didn’t want to surface, that you didn’t want to acknowledge.

“Heh. I’ve always thought that seriousness of yours is pretty cute.” Then he loses balance and falls forward.  

“Are you okay?!” you exclaim. Instinctively, you move forward to catch him and the next thing you know, you’re holding up half his body weight. As you help lower him to a more comfortable position on the floor you slowly register his words, and when you do, your breath stills. You had tried to push it down, keeping it at the back of your mind, but the implication is impossible to ignore. The timing is too perfect to simply be a coincidence. You nervously scan Red Hood’s appearance as you sit next to him. “Jason?” you try, not sure what answer you are hoping to hear.

He hums in response then he vaguely says, “You know me pretty well, cupid. Looks like you don’t need your eyes to see me at all.”

His words throw you off but then you’re reminded of Jason’s most recent post on his social media. If you hadn’t seen it, you probably wouldn’t have understood what he just said to you. “Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind,” you say softly and slowly, trying to recall the quote. “And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

“Didn’t know you were a fan of Shakespeare. Or have you been stalking me?”

“I have to keep up to date with my clients’ interests, okay?” you say to defend yourself. “I needed to update your profile.”

“Oh. Right, right.” A short chuckle escapes him but he groans right after and he clutches his side in pain. He leans his head back against the wall behind him.

“Are you okay?” you ask in panic, completely forgetting he came to you barely standing. Your hands hover just over his wounded body, wanting to help but unsure how to. You don’t care that you’re losing your cool in front of him. Professionalism be damned. It’s impossible to control the turmoil of emotions flowing through you, especially the guilt. All this time, you had criticized his awful habits and nonchalant behavior. Now everything about him is suddenly clicking into place.  

“You should be going to the hospital or something with these injuries,” you say while eyeing the blood seeping from his side. You notice cuts all over his body and even the helmet is cracked. “Why did you come here when you’re this hurt?”

“Well I said I’d come, so here I am.” His tone is light-hearted despite the heaves of his chest as he struggles to intake air.

“You’re already super late anyway, idiot,” you snap back, though you can feel tears pricking your eyes. “You shouldn’t have bothered. I was about to leave.”

“Kinda relieved you didn’t.”

“What was so important that it couldn’t wait until our next meeting?” you demand. You figure the sooner you get the reason out of him, the sooner you can get him some help.

“Come on, don’t be mad. It makes it harder to say if you’re mad at me.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and say in a controlled tone, “I’m not mad.”

“Let’s hope it stays that way,” he says before taking a deep breath. “I just didn’t want you to find me another date. I needed to tell you...God, this is going to sound so sappy but to hell with it. I don’t want any more matches, or profiles, or whatever. I’m in love with you. I don’t want to see anyone else. Look, I know you’re wary of me but give me a chance. Even Cupid was able to fall in love, right?”

For a moment you’re speechless but you organize your thoughts and say, “I consider Cupid’s love story more tragic than romantic. He really shouldn’t be a source of inspiration... or object of affection.”

“You’re totally missing the point of my speech.”

“You’re the one who likened me to Cupid,” you reply, trying to keep your emotions under control.

“Oh, so we’re just going to ignore my heartfelt confession, then.” He moves to sit up straighter and groans while doing so. You reach out to help support him but he grabs your hand instead. “I’m serious about you, really. Give me a chance. I promise I’ll be more honest. I’ll try harder to be on time. I’ll keep our dates. I’ll be better, I promise.”

“Okay, okay!” you hastily answer out of nervousness. “But how am I supposed to date you if you’re dying right in front of me?!”

“This is nothing. I just need to make a call, and everything will be fine. Easy-peasy.” He groans again as he leans back. He continues to grip your hand, clutching it to his chest. “But more importantly, now that we’re officially dating, can I publicly announce it?”

“You should be making this call of yours the priority right now,” you say while desperately trying to ignore the heat creeping across your face.

He sighs dramatically. “Can’t you let me savor this moment a little while longer?”

“Well excuse me for worrying! If you weren’t bleeding out, I would let you savor this moment however long you wanted.”

“I can’t help it if I want to celebrate. I’ve finally caught Cupid, after all.”

You study his expressionless helmet. "What would you have done if I still said no?” you ask curiously.

“Remember how I said I didn’t want to be an ass and fire you? Well I would probably try to get you to quit instead. Then ask you out.”

An incredulous expression crosses your face and you ask, “Get me to quit? How?”

“Oh, probably a little bullying here and there. Just me being more of a jerk than I already am,” he says while using one hand to slide his helmet off. You’re glad to see his familiar face after staring at his mask for so long.

“Wow, that is just as bad,” you remark, your voice laced with humor. “That’s an equally terrible thing to do.”  

“Doesn’t matter now, cupid. I don’t have to do any of that stuff anymore.” He grips your hand again and tugs you closer, making you lean over him slightly as a result.

“Yeah, because you made me a promise,” you quip, attempting to maintain your composure despite how close you are to him.

"Indeed, I did,” he says in agreement, his voice dropping lower and making your legs weak. He tilts his head and his lips ghost just over yours. “So now I can be cupid’s match.”

Your lips stretch into a smile. “Then, as of now, I officially resign as your matchmaker.”

.

.

.

[xiaolinhodown]

here it is!  a very long bio/info thing about my metalocalypse oc, hazel!!! read more at your own risk, its very long haha (also warning for short, non-graphic mentions of abuse)

Hazel Mae Parker Age: 27 When she first encounters Dethklok Height: 5’5 Birthday: April 8th (Aries) Gender: Female, she/her pronouns Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual Personality: Hazel is a fairly quiet and meek girl, which shocks people considering the position she has at her job and the progress shes made in her career and in school. Despite this shyness, she does have a lot of motivation and was always very careful with her grades. However, she has very low self confidence and is always beating herself up about not being good enough. She’s also quick to do what she thinks she needs to do to please people, and is easily manipulated because of that reason. She has a lot of anxieties about herself and just in general, but as she ages, takes more care of her mental health.  She enjoys working, and can easily overwork herself without noticing. She often relies on others to tell her when she needs to take a break, or she’d keep working forever. 

Bio:

Hazel was born to a middle class family in the suburbs of a small town in Washington state. She was always discontent with her place in this small town, and wished for a bigger experience. As she went through grade school, she realized her passion for writing, specifically journalism. She joined her high schools news paper club and ended up as president of it in her senior year. In order to escape her small town, she went to college in California. Academically, she did very well in almost all of her classes. She joined the newspaper club on campus. This is where she discovered her love for writing about pop culture-related current events. She had always followed a path to write about world news, but writing for the pop culture section in the school paper taught her otherwise. The article that really started her progress in the journalistic world was a critical piece on the band Zazz Blammymatazz’s own Rockso the Rock and Roll Clown, who had recently been bombarded by a heap of scandals. The blunt and well-scripted article caught the attention of POP USA, a pop-culture magazine that was somewhat well-known. The manager of the pop culture section offered her an internship, which turned into a full time job once Hazel graduated college. She began living and working in her college town. Fresh out of college, Hazel met Marlow, who was a barista at the coffee shop that was embedded in the POP USA office building. They began to talk and eventually began dating. After a couple months together, Marlow began to become emotionally abusive towards Hazel. To her, it seemed like it was going in a physical direction. Not only was Marlow just an abusive man, but an insecure and jealous one. The core of his abuse stemmed from convincing Hazel that she didn’t deserve her position in the company- he couldn’t handle that he was a barista while she was a writer for the magazine.This abuse caused her work to falter. After about a year trapped in the relationship, Hazel’s boss, Jericho sat down and asked her about her performance. Hazel took a chance and admitted what had been going on. Jericho swiftly took action, and had Marlow fired. Although Marlow was away from her workplace, Hazel still held post-traumatic stress and anxiety that he was stalking her. About half a year after this occurred, things bigger than Hazel and the worlds biggest band, Dethklok, were happening. The Tribunal, eager to bring down Dethklok in any way they could, hatched a plan to plant a seed in the Mordhaus. They contacted the CEO of POP USA, and offered a generous sum of money to risk killing a journalist that would record data about Dethklok over a period of two weeks. The Tribunal had suffered loss after loss, and now believed that even petty information about the band members lives would be more helpful than dead recruits from the past. To make the mission as secretive as possible, the CEO kept the true purpose of this job a secret. Hazel was terrified when the CEO called her to his office, but ecstatic when he assigned her to essentially live with Dethklok for two weeks. Hazel was never a hardcore fan of the band, but she was obviously still excited to work with them. She was sent to Mordhaus to begin her mission, under the guise that she was doing a piece entitled “Life With Dethklok.” The band was confused by the sudden addition of a woman who wasn’t there just to have sex with or become a Klokateer. However they did enjoy her company, and of course, loved that she gave them reason to talk (brag) about themselves. Charles Offdenson was naturally skeptical. Through his own gut feelings and some private investigation, he discovered this was just yet another plan to destroy his bread and butter. However, after an intimidating questioning of Hazel (as well as more digging) he realized she genuinely had no clue about the true nature of this mission. He informed her about what was going on (vaguely, as in “there’s a lot of people who want Dethklok’s money and power, and uh, unfortunately you got caught up in one of those plans.”). He also informed her that she was welcome to stay in Mordhaus for a bit, so she and more importantly Dethklok would be safe. She agreed, and under Charles’ help and supervision, continued to keep contact with the POP USA CEO about the mission. Another aspect of her time in Mordhaus was hiding from her abusive ex. Fortunately, she was being heavily protected by Charles’ efforts, but she was still concerned about her name getting out. She gets fearful once she starts seeing Marlow at meet-and-greets, concerts, and signing events. However, once she brings this up to the band, they don’t hesitate to keep her protected as well. 

Relationship Information:

Nathan: Hazel and Nathan had a very malleable relationship for the better half of 2 years. They started off having sex somewhat regularly, as Hazel’s interviews would turn into flirting, which turned into… you know! Hazel especially had no problem with this once she realized the true nature of her “mission”. Other than that, though, Nathan and Hazel share a strong bond over another thing - abusive exes. Once Nathan catches Hazel in a panic attack, she tells him her story and in turn, Nathan shares his about his abusive ex girlfriends that he so often seems to attract. Although Nathan is much less prone to showing actual emotion, he does open up a bit in order to help Hazel, and for Hazel to help him. Further into their relationship, they become very platonic, and eventually almost like siblings. Pickles: Hazel and Pickles essentially just co-exist in a friendly way. They don’t interact that often, but it’s obvious at times that they respect and care for each other. Pickles understands Hazels anxiety issues and helps her through those, while Hazel tries to help him through his worst drinking binges. She knows she doesn’t have the hold on him to get him to rehab, but she does bring it up and also shares that concern with Nathan and the others. Skwisgaar: HOOOOO BOY. Hazel and Skwisgaar. Of course, when Hazel first arrives at Mordhaus, Skwisgaar starts flirting with her, which she immediately responds to (again, especially after Charles tells her that this job is kind of a sham). Hazel gets a crush on Skwisgaar pretty early on, but because of her anxiety about relationships and commitment, she’s fine in the current set up and holds her feelings back. Where it gets complicated is when Skwisgaar, about a year into knowing Hazel, realizes he has feelings for her. He recognizes that they have had many intimate talks about their pasts, and all of their present concerns, and that he has never truly felt this way about any of his other friends with benefits. He didn’t just see her as a co-worker, but a friend and someone to confide in. However, due to his fears of commitment, he also held back his feelings.  Things change after the events of Doomstar Requiem, where the boys face their own mortality, including Skwisgaar who is older and wiser at this point. He realizes that he, his friends, nor Hazel, are guaranteed life every day, and he finally confesses his feelings to Hazel, who of course, reciprocates them. Due to their combined insecurities, they make sure to take it slow with each other, and are forgiving of each others mistakes. The relationship works well because they both know how it feels to be scared, and are so understanding of each other and willing to help each other grow. They stay together for about 6 years before they get married. They end up having two children.  Murderface: Murderface and Hazel also tend to coexist with eachother, but in a more hostile and passive-aggressive fashion. Murderface typically is a little rude to her and dubs her presence in the Mordhaus as intrusive, annoying, and claims shes just there for sex and money. Hazel kind of understood Murderface’s personality early on in their relationship, and therefore didn’t really get upset at his bad attitude. Hazel tends to try to help him as well, putting out good press for him when he puts the band’s reputation in jeopardy. Their relationship and understanding improves over the years, but it does take time. Toki: Hazel absolutely adores Toki, and often goes to him for childlike humor and solice when the cynical nature of the other four begins to get to her. Like Nathan, Toki has plenty of history with abuse, and tends to console in Hazel with that, as she does withhim. Neither of them are professionals, and therefore they just are there to listen to each other and say they understand. Toki, despite being the more childish one of the two, takes his role as being older than her seriously, and therefore can often be seen “protecting his little sister” from danger in and outside of Mordhaus. Hazel also often tries to soothe Toki when he enters his more violent state, and succeeds occasionally when he’s not too far gone. Otherwise she usually ends up getting scratched a little herself. Charles: Hazel is a little intimidated by Charles, but appreciates the protection he works hard to give her (even though he provides it for the band more than for her). They get along very well for the most part, other than the occasional disagreement or teasing from Hazel to Charles. Charles appreciates that Hazel is able to help the band’s image so well, and will often request for her to stage PR events when the band is in need of some good press. Charles also sees that Hazel does genuinely make the boys happy, and is glad to keep her safe and protected for that reason (not to mention its someone else for them to bother about things). 

[axelsagewrites]

Jace Wayland*Christmas Party

Jace X Fem!Warlock!Reader Warning-Kinda smutty? but not really

(Y/F/J/F)= your fav junk food (Y/H/T)= Your hometown

Masterlist HERE

Wattpad HERE

Being a warlock who was over two hundred years old meant you didn’t find mundane holidays as exciting as you used to. Most of your friends didn’t celebrate, well apart from Magnus. Ragnor Fell didn’t care for holidays, Catrina Loss was too busy to care, Raphael didn’t talk about anything close to religion due to his past. All your other warlock or vampire friends just didn’t care anymore. Well, Magnus did but it was really just an excuse to throw another lavish party. Your plans for December 20th was to eat (Y/F/J/F) and watch Netflix. Not productive but stress-free. Your plans were interrupted by someone pounding on your door. You paused the tv and stayed silent. The knocking didn’t stop. You sighed aggressively and stood up and stomped to your door. “WHO DARES DISTURB THE HIGH WARLOCK OF (Y/H/T)?” You yelled. “Don’t steal my line!” An all to familiar voice whined. You flung the door open and glowered at the glittery Warlock. “What?” You asked bluntly. He looked at your outfit and rolled his eyes. “You haven’t even started getting ready.” He pushed past you and into your apartment. “Come in. I insist. Welcome to my humble abode. So glad you’re here.” You said in a flat voice, giving a fake bow. Magnus just crossed his arms and stared at you. “Get ready for what?” you sighed. “Christmas party,” he made hand gestures as if to say ‘you idiot, how did you forget?’. “I invited you over a month ago.” “And I told you I wasn’t going over a month ago.” You flung yourself onto the couch. Magnus walked in front of you and put his hands on his hips. “Oh, please tell, what amazing plans do you have tonight?” “Netflix.” You looked passed him, holding the remote, and looking for something to watch. “Netflix and chill?” he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes. “Are you finally getting back onto the field?” “Nope.” You popped the P and kept searching. Magnus groaned. “You need to get over them. It was over a century ago.” “If your new lover, whose name escapes me, broke up with you because you accidentally set his house on fire because someone was trying to kill you, would you get over it?” “That’s why?” You nodded. “Then id say ‘fuck you’ and try move on. Just because it was bad once doesn’t mean it cant get better.” You rolled your eyes. “Besides its Christmas! Time to party.” “Naw.” Magnus stormed off somewhere but you didn’t pay attention. Well until he flung a random dress and heels at you. You pulled the dress away from your face and glared at him. “Get. Changed. I need to go set out your makeup.” You knew there was no point in arguing with Magnus so did as he said. He took it upon himself to ‘beat your face’, his words not yours, and do your hair. You’ve got to admit, Magnus is amazing at makeup. Magnus was late to his own party because of you but you didn’t care. It was his own fault. Besides Magnus said its good to be ‘fashionably late’ and that the ‘party don’t start till he walks in’ to quote ke$hia. Magnus introduced you to Alec briefly before he dragged him away somewhere. This left you with his hot friend Jace. You couldn’t even deny Jace was hot but that didn’t mean you were about to throw yourself on him. you talked for a few minutes before going to get a drink. Well, another but who's counting. You hadn’t been to one of Magnus’s parties for a while but soon remembered why you loved them. The night was a blur of dancing, drinking, flirting, chatting and a few party tricks. You’re favourite was to impress some newer downworlders with simple magic. The one they seemed to like the most was when you made smoke come out your fingertips and shape itself into different things, like a Seelie dancing or a rose blooming. You won't lie, you did make out with this one vampire for a brief period of time but who can blame you? They're naturally flawless. You weren’t planning on going home with someone but as the night went on you were less against the idea. Seelies loved dancing and you happened to see some old friends who quickly dragged you to the dance floor. Being tipsy and having the time of your century, your dancing was slightly risky. This caught the eye of a certain shadowhunter. Soon you felt someone dancing behind you. Turning your head you saw the golden blonde. You smirked and started dancing with him. why not? One thing leads to another and you and Jace were making out in a corner. “Follow me.” You whispered, sending him a wink. He grabbed your hand as you lead him through Magnus’s flat. You didn’t want to portal home and you also assumed he lived in the institute so decided Magnus probably wouldn’t mind you using his guest room. You opened the door and made sure no one was in there before dragging Jace in and shutting the door, locking it with magic. When you turned Jace was smirking at you. “You sure Magnus wants us in here?” “He won't mind.” Jace cocked an eyebrow, which was hot as hell. “He told me to get laid.” Jace walked closer until he was pressing you against the door. “What makes you think you’ll get laid?” he whispered in your ear. Your face displayed a smirk to match his. “Are you really gonna say no?” You asked. With every word you walked forward, forcing him to get closer to the bed. “Hell no,” Jace said. You smirked and gave him a small push, making him land on the bed. He pushed himself up slightly, leaning on his arms. You quickly connected your lips to his. Jace ran his fingers through your hair while your hands traced his abs. One of his hands went from your hair to the hem of your dress. “Shall we?”

Do you want this to continue? I was thinking of doing a part 2 which could either be smut, or someone walking in on them so they don't...idk, what do you readers want?

[iwastoldthisisgoodforme]

29.5.19

Hung out with Riona all day.

I tried to wake up early but still felt so tired. The plan was to meet at 1030 since Riona texted me the night before and asked what time but she wanted to push it to 1030. I was running late so I told her let’s do 11. I went to the library (actually quite nice going in the morning when none of the high school students are there). Finished scanning and uploading all my documents for Nosh. In the middle of doing all that, I got a call from Pak of The Rice Den saying he wanted to do an interview later today or tomorrow but since I was with Riona all day and had the Nosh interview tomorrow and had to meet Jade afterwards, I told him Friday would work better for me so we scheduled it for Friday at 10am.

Riona said she was at the station so I told her to just come to the library since I was still working on the police check. She found me and followed me after I told her I needed to print some forms and asked if it was okay that we go to the police station. I asked if she had ever been to the Chatswood library and she said this was her second time; the first was when she went to study with some English school classmates. She also made the “Twice!” shout that Twice says in their songs so I followed up with “What is love!” She was surprised about my mouse. After printing out some forms and my resume, we went to Kmart to get some shoes since it would take some time to get the info relayed to the police. When we went out, we saw the ferris wheel and she was surprised it was there and asked when it was put there but I said it was for Vivid. I asked if she had been to Vivid and she said yes she took the ferry from Manly and saw the Opera House.

Apparently Kmart was actually inside Chatswood Chase which I didn’t realize. Riona said she’s never actually been to Chatswood Chase so this was her first time. When we walked past the food court she said the food looked good but I told her the sushi isn’t authentic and she agreed. We had to look a bit for the men’s shoes but we eventually found them. There was one pair that ended up looking appropriate. When I was trying them on, RIona asked why didn’t I sit down and I started laughing. They fit so we went to go pay for them and then used the toilets. Afterwards, we headed out to the police station which wasn’t too far.

We had to wait a while at the police station since there was some woman complaining about something with a boat owner (maybe blocking her driveway or something) and I found the situation to be amusing. Riona asked me what was going on but I told her I’d tell her later since I didn’t want the woman to hear me. Riona said this was the first time she had been to a police station in Australia but not Japan. She went to one in Japan because she got lost once but she said they were useless because they didn’t know where to go either. I told her this is the first time I’ve been to a police station in my life and they weren’t very common to find in the US. After the lady had called me forwards and I had given her my forms and ID, I got a call from Kamila to schedule an interview with Clifford & Wallace, the place Kat told me about. I talked with her on the phone a while and ended up scheduling an interview for Friday afternoon at 2. The lady at the police station came to talk to me in between but I couldn’t just drop the call. After I got the forms, we went to go find a place to eat. Riona wanted Indian curry but there was nothing good nearby so she wanted Thai food. I said we could go to CBD like we had originally planned but she said no, she just wanted to stay in Chatswood. On the way to find Thai food (we only knew of two places, both which I had already eaten at), I realized i couldn’t find my sunglasses so I wanted to stop by the library but after digging through my backpack some more, I realized they had just gotten loss in the abyss.

When we got to Hawker’s Lane, there was a lot of good looking food places and we almost went for Chinese food but settled on Thai. She got pad thai while I got pad see ew. She was impressed by how I could just swipe on my phone and I showed her how to use it. She got a text from Omi saying to enjoy Aladdin but she wondered how he knew she was going to watch it since she didn’t tell him. We suspected that he must have read her phone. Interestingly enough Iphone has a feature to reveal the whole chat without showing it was read. I asked her also when she wanted to get married and she said in three years. I asked her if she wanted to marry Omi and she gave me a hmmm which wasn’t as definite as what Yosi told Yuri and I on Sunday.

I told her I needed to get a white shirt from Uniqlo for the CWA interview so we decided to stop by there first. We talked about H&M and I said I didn’t like them because the quality was really cheap. I asked her which shirts were more acceptable at Uniqlo and she picked one so I tried it out. I asked her if it was okay and she said it was. After that we went to get ice cream. We went to Gelatissimo and I got the cookies and cream and chocolate chip flavors while she got green tea and chocolate chip. I actually tried chocolate chip while she tried cookies and cream. I told her Yuri might see us because she lives in Chatswood and I always ran into Yuri at Chatswood. I also told her how Yuri saw her hanging out with her friends on Saturday.

Afterwards we went to the movie theatre to buy the tickets. We still had a lot of time so we walked through the arcade but didn’t feel like paying for it so we just went to the lobby and waited on the fidget spinner chairs for a while. I started falling off so Riona helped me up. She laid down and we talked about a bit about singing and she said she was bad at singing. I said let’s do karaoke but she didn’t want to because she can’t sing well although I remember her agreeing to go one time. There was Detective Pikachu trailers playing and I said I wanted to see it because I love Pikachu and think he’s so cute. We also commented on how pretty Jasmine is and I showed her that she is the pink ranger. I also asked if it’s okay to watch Aladdin since Omi said he wanted to watch with her but she said it was fine since he said earlier he didn’t want to watch it. During this time, another person called to schedule an interview, at a pizza place I applied.

In the theatre they had reclining chairs so I felt rather relaxed. I took off my shoes and put my legs on the chair so Riona did the same but she was wearing boots so it wasn’t easy for her to slip out of them. Normally I feel a bit self-conscious when sitting to people I don’t know well or when going to the movie theatre but for some reason I didn’t feel it so much with her. At the end of the movie, we said it was good but I preferred the original much more. She said let’s go home so we went out. I wanted to hang out with her more but also knew I needed to prepare for the interview.

We were going to part at the intersection since she just took the train home but when I asked if she still wanted to hang out on Monday she didn’t think she could. I realized this is probably the last time I’ll see her so I realized I had to confess to her how I feel even though I wasn’t prepared to do so. I told her that I had something to tell her and that when she asked if I had a sukina hito I said I actually liked her. She was embarrassed (in a flattered way) and said I was lying. I said no, I wasn’t and that she was totally my type. She told me she didn't know at all and I was good at hiding it because I'm an actor but I said no, it's because I know she had a boyfriend I had told her how the Polish girl (Kat) helped me get an interview with the hospitality agency and how she talked too much but someone like Yuri didn’t talk much which I didn’t like but Riona was the right balance. I tried to explain to her what sweet spot is but ended up telling her it’s like a woman’s G spot which she somehow understood. I told her though that I was just telling her how I feel since she is leaving and I have no idea if I’ll see her again. We ended up talking more and she said I would find a girlfriend soon because I’m kind although that hasn’t seemed to help me so far. She also said that she thought I liked Frisca because I flirted a bit with her when I talked to her but I said that I didn’t have feelings for her and she also has a boyfriend. Riona also apologized that she had a boyfriend when I liked her and I told her it’s nothing to apologize about. She said something about us being friends but I had these secret feelings for her but I told her that even though I did, I know my place so it’s not like I took anything the wrong way. She said she really didn’t know and I said of course she didn’t because I didn’t say anything until now. She asked me when I liked her but I said I didn’t know. She said I acted so calm while she would be nervous if she liked someone. She kept apologizing about how she didn’t know and being with Omi but I told her I’m used to it at this point. At first I would be sabishii but now it’s just shikatta ga nai ne. For some reason we started talking about sex again (probably because we were talking about girls who talk too much vs too little) and she said how Omi didn’t initiate sex at all the first month they were together. She said he was ukiyo. I said I like girls who are aggressive but I also like to be aggressive sometimes but Omi likes girls who are aggressive which is why he likes older women. I said I like a girl who can be aggressive because I’m a bit shy and she was surprised to hear that. I told her my personality now and in high school was completely different and how I was very shy back then and even showed her my license to show how shy I was.

We talked more and more and eventually ended up ranting about Masa and I told her about Mother’s Day and all the things he did to piss me off like putting me on the floor alone (I told her that’s why I was so angry that one day) and I didn’t like how he treated people and how his honne and tatemae were completely different. I told her the story about Sunday and how long we waited to get our wages and she said she would just go home but I told her we would never get our wages if we came back another day and she said how hard it was to pick up the wages from Masa. I also told her about what he said when she fucked up and she said it was hard to trust him after that. She seemed to agree and I told her to keep this a secret. We did realize that Masa had good qualities though and talked about how funny he is sometimes like when we talked about how stupid Gen looked or the Korean guy who thought Masa's daughter was Masa.

I told her I’d walk her to the train station since I wanted to see the Vivid sound display which had these trumpet flowers that would play a sound if you pressed the button. A lot of little kids were playing with them but I found them really fun. Riona and I played with them a while and took videos but when I tried taking ones of her she ran away.

Finally we decided to call it a night and said goodbye. She gave me a hug and we looked at each other one last time before we headed off in our own directions.

[ghostsinthewoods]

Chapter Two: Party People

“Mae, you’ll be fine,” Bea sighed.

           Mae sat in the passenger’s seat of Bea’s car, squirming nervously as she looked at her friend. It was dark outside. Empty fields and farms rolled past the windows as they drove towards their destination. They’d already been driving for an hour, and had a while to go.

             “What do I say if I see her again, though?” Mae asked. Her nose wrinkled from the scent of Bea’s cigarette. Bea had cracked both of the front windows open, but they didn’t help much.

             “You could probably say ‘Hi’. That’s generally a safe bet,” Bea said, her tone as sarcastic as ever.

             “What if I come across as a creep?” Mae asked. “I mean, it’s been a few months since the last party. What if she forgot me? What if she found someone who’s, like, tall, and hot, and can talk good?”

             “You’ve been worrying about this for the whole car ride,” Bea sighed. “Look, if you see her, and you get nervous, then let me know. I’ll help you out.”

             That took Mae by surprise. “You’d really do that?”

             Bea chuckled. “Yeah. And, unlike you, I actually know how to play wingman.”

             Mae winced.

             “Sorry,” Bea said. “Didn’t mean to come across as, like, passive aggressive. That sounded funnier in my head.”

             “It’s fine,” Mae said. “And if we see Colin again, let me know, and I’ll stay far away.”

             Bea laughed at that. “Pretty sure that opportunity’s passed, Maeday. Don’t sweat it; plenty of fish in the sea.”

             “Squids, too,” Mae mused. “Wait, are squids fish?”

             “They’re cephalopods,” Bea said.

             “I knew that,” Mae said.

             A gas station passed them by on Mae’s side of the car. The station had an attached Snack Falcon, which made Mae wonder what Gregg was up to. He and Angus were on a date, but what were their dates like?

             Back in high school, she and Cole and Gregg and Angus had gone out as a group to Pastabilities at least once. But Gregg and Angus weren’t living together back then.

             Mae wasn’t even sure what a date at home would be like. Was it just, like, eating dinner, and cuddling? Would they wrestle? Who would win if they did?

             Angus had the size advantage, but he was a big teddy bear. Mae knew for a fact that Gregg was scrappy, and he had a mean headlock. Would Gregg use his headlock on Angus, though? Or did he love him too much?

             Is that what love is? Not using your best wrestling moves on someone?

             Maybe it was. It was a touching thought.

             Mae wouldn’t hesitate, though. She’d destroy anyone she wrestled; no matter how much she loved them. Mae wouldn’t eff around.  Mae would straight up suplex a bitch.

             Or try to, at least. She was pretty small, after all.

             Bombshell was around Mae’s size, though. She’d be easy to suplex. Or piledrive. Bombshell had looked like she could take a piledriver.

             Mae refused to get with anyone who couldn’t take a piledriver. If they couldn’t hold their own in a fight, they weren’t gonna get none of this.

             Mae felt like these were realistic relationship goals.

             The street was the same. Same pizza place, same goth dorks, same parking lot. The only thing that had changed was the weather.

             Weird, pounding music emanated from down the stairs that lead into the club. Bright lights seemed to leak out into the city streets, like they were painting the night air.

             They’d only been there for a few minutes, and Mae already wanted to go home. The last time she’d been here, it hadn’t exactly gone well. She was amazed she hadn’t caught a cold from running after Bea in the rain.

             That being said, the night had been worth it. Mae had found out she could dance. A hot girl flirted with her. And, most importantly, Mae and Bea had gotten closer. That awful night had pushed them together and made them stronger.

             All of that being said, of course, Mae was still scared out of her mind. And hungry. Mostly scared, though.

             “Hey,” Mae said as she and Bea approached the club entrance. “If things go south this time, you get to be the one to run after me on rooftops and shit.”

             Bea chuckled at that. She’d already lit another cigarette between then and them leaving the car. Mae briefly wondered where Bea was keeping all of these cigarettes. She didn’t have a purse on her.

             “If that happens, you’ll have to wait for a while. I’m not exactly athletic, Borowski.”

             “Yeah,” Mae conceded. “Yeah, you’ve got, like, twig legs.”

             Bea didn’t comment on that. Instead, she turned her attention towards the club’s entrance, where Jackie was waiting for them. Possum Spring’s favorite radical hurried over to Bea, pulling her into a tight, friendly hug. Mae stood off to the side, watching s the two got into a conversation.

             Instead of listening, Mae scanned the faces of the people who were loitering outside the club. She wondered if she’d catch sight of Bombshell without having to actually go into that basement full of college weirdos.

             No such luck.

             After a while, Bea and Jackie stopped talking, and Jackie led the two into the club. Mae had to admit, Jackie was good at hiding how much she hated Mae. That had to be an important life skill. If Mae hated someone, she was usually pretty obvious about it.

             “So, I want to introduce you to this guy, Bea,” Jackie said. Mae had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Was Jackie, like, some sort of matchmaker?

             “You’ll like him, I promise. His name’s Buck Simmons.”

             Mae blinked. “I didn’t know Buck was an actual name,” she whispered to Bea.

             Beatrice laughed at that. “Alright, Maeday, time to see if you learned to talk good.”

             Wow. Bea wanted Mae to play wingman for a dude she hadn’t even met? Jackie must have really been a matchmaker.

             Jackie led the two out to the edge of the dance floor. A tall guy in a plaid shirt stood in front of the lit-up floor, drinking from a red plastic cup. Mae wasn’t sure what to make of him. He was kind of cute, in a really generic way, but he looked like he was trying too hard to be ‘college’.

             Like, he was what corporations and movie-makers thought a typical college student looked like.

             Well, whatever. Mae owed it to Bea to give it her best shot, didn’t she? And ‘best shot’ meant ‘don’t make fun of his dumb goatee.’ Even though it was really, really dumb.

             As the trio drew closer, Mae noticed that, for one second, a look of intense worry flashed on Jackie’s face.

             ‘Yeah, I’m with you, sister. Let’s hope I don’t blow this,’ Mae thought.

             Jackie moved to Bea’s side and put a hand on her shoulder. “Buck, this is my friend Beatrice. Bea, this is Buck.”

             Buck nodded. “Hi,” he said. “I’m Buck.”

             “I’m Mae!” Mae shouted out, perhaps a bit too loud. Jackie shot her a look, but Buck didn’t seem perturbed.

             “Yeah, cool,” he said. “I’m Buck.”

             Mae cast a glance at Bea, who seemed to be thinking the exact same thing about Buck’s double introduction. Jackie, too, looked a bit confused.

             “So, Buck, are you in school?” Bea asked. She spoke slowly, as if she wasn’t sure if Buck would understand.

             Buck shrugged and took a sip of whatever drink he had in his red, plastic cup. “I guess,” he said.

             Mae couldn’t tell if Buck was shy, stupid, high, or some combination of the three. She subtly looked towards Jackie, who looked back at her. Jackie’s confusion over Buck’s behavior seemed to equal Mae’s own.

             It occurred to Mae that this was probably the first time she and Jackie had been in total agreement over something. Neat. This was a friendship moment.

             Beatrice, bless her heart, tried to keep the conversation going. “So, uh, what are you studying?”

             “Yeah,” Buck said, and took another drink.

             A few moments of silence passed. Everyone seemed to be waiting to see if Buck would say something else.

             Buck continued the trend of being a garbage conversationalist, however, and simply continued to sip from his cup.

             “Well,” Bea said slowly, hurriedly looking to Jackie and Mae. “Well, Buck, it was nice meeting you, but my friends and I have to… go dance.” She began heading towards the dance floor, nervously signaling for them to follow her.

             “Yeah,” Mae said. “Nice meeting you, dude. Keep on keepin’ on.”

             As much as Mae would have liked to dance, by the time they were halfway across the dance floor, it became clear that Bea had just wanted to get away from Buck. And, I mean, could you blame her?

             “Jeez, Jackie, where did you find that guy?” Bea asked. Jackie shrugged, clearly embarrassed.

             “He’s in my sociology class. I mean, he seemed smart.”

             “Lots of people seem smart,” Mae pointed out. “I mean, I could seem pretty smart if I started talking about, like, dead people or dinosaurs.”

             “Thanks, Mae,” Jackie said with a sigh. “That’s really helpful.”

             Ah, there it was. Jackie didn’t have a lot of patience for shenanigans. She never had, even when they were kids. It was a shame. Mae kind of liked Jackie, but sometimes she seemed just too intense.

             Well, whatever. If she didn’t like her, she didn’t like her. No big loss.

              Mae searched the crowd once again for Bombshell. While Bea and Jackie talked about sociopaths or whatever, Mae looked at every head of hair, trying to find those violet highlights.

             She searched for what felt like minutes (But was actually closer to about 30 seconds), but Mae didn’t see any sign of her. That wasn’t good. Bombshell was half the reason Mae came down here.

             If Mae didn’t find her, this night would be a total bust.

             Fortunately, there was one person who probably knew where she was. Unfortunately, that person hated her.

             Mae tuned back in to Jackie and Bea’s conversation, which had moved on to some other thing Mae didn’t understand. Since what they were talking about probably wasn’t important, Mae decided it was fine to interrupt with her own question.

             “Hey, Jackie, can I ask you something?”

             Jackie had been midsentence when Mae had spoken up. Both she and Bea seemed a little annoyed, though Bea at least probably expected this sort of thing by now.

             “Uh, I don’t know if you noticed,” Jackie said, “but I was kind of talking to—”

             “Yeah, so I’m looking for someone,” Mae said. “The last time I was here, there was this really cute girl, and we really hit it off, and I want to see if I can maybe wrestle her.”

             Jackie blinked. “Is that a… euphemism?”

             “No,” Bea clarified. “She literally means wrestling. Do you think you could help her out, Jackie?”

             Jackie turned to Bea, then to Mae. For once, her usual dislike for Mae had given way to sheer confusion. “Help her… wrestle? Like, a tag team?”

             “I mean, if you want to form a tag team, we could,” Mae said. “We could probably win the tag team title, I think. I’ve got a mean suplex.”

             The music playing shifted to a slower, almost hypnotic dance melody. Although there were at least a dozen people dancing around them, and even more people were chatting to themselves, it seemed almost as if Mae, Bea, and Jackie were inside of their own little world.

             “Okay,” Jackie said slowly, the strobe lights irregularly highlighting her face. With the lights the way they were, Mae realized for the first time how much Jackie had changed since they were younger.

             “Alright, so what does this person look like?”

             “She’s a bombshell,” Mae said.

             “I’m going to need something more specific than that,” Jackie sighed.

             Mae didn’t really understand that. She hadn’t gotten a good look at anyone else in the club, but none of them were bombshells. Then again, everyone looked attractive in a dark room with pulsing lights.

             “Uh, she’s around my height, really cute, has, like, purple highlights in—”

             “Oh, her?” Jackie asked. “I don’t really know her that well. She’s just, like, big into clubbing, so sometimes she’s here during one of my parties. Not here tonight, though. I didn’t see her car.”

             “She’s hot and she has a car?” Mae asked, completely amazed.

             Bea chuckled. “Nice. If you two hit it off, you can get someone else to drive you around.”

             “Well, if she’s not here, then that’s a bust,” Mae sighed. “Oh, well. We can still do party stuff, right, Jackie?”

             “It’s a party, Mae. 99% of the stuff that’s going to happen will be party stuff.”

             Mae opened her mouth to respond, but someone bumping into her from behind shut her up. Mae was about to spin around and give whoever it was an earful, but an anxious apology quickly silenced her tirade.

             “Oh, jeez, sorry,” the stranger said. Mae turned, and saw perhaps the most nervous person she’d ever seen. And that was saying something, because Mae had seen herself.

             “Sorry,” the guy said. He was around Mae’s age, maybe a little younger. He was a pretty average, scrawny dude. The only real noticeable detail was his nose, which was bent and crooked. Weird.

             What was weirder, though, was that he looked sort of familiar to Mae.

             “Oh, hey, Drew,” Jackie said calmly. “Mae, Bea, this is Drew. He’s… someone’s boyfriend. I forget.”

             “Eli. I’m Eli’s boyfriend,” Drew said. He immediately looked apologetic for correcting Jackie.

             Drew nervously wiped his hands off on his khaki shorts and extended his hand for a handshake. His left hand. He seemed to realize his mistake, and quickly extended his right hand.

             “Nice to meet you, Bea,” he said as Mae shook his hand.

             “Thanks. I’m definitely Bea,” Mae said. “I could power a small city with my crankiness.”

             Drew looked confused, and he looked towards Jackie uncertainly. Jackie made a disgusted sort of sigh, and Drew seemed to get the picture rather quickly.

             “I’m Bea,” Beatrice said in a long-suffering tone. “That’s Mae. She thinks she’s funny.”

             Drew laughed at that. He laughed a little too loud and a little too long. People were staring now. The trio politely waited for Drew’s laughter to stop. It took a while.

             It took a little while longer for anyone to say something. The four stood in a small little circle of awkwardness. Drew’s arms were folded over his chest, his hands stuck in his armpits. Dude didn’t want to be here.

             Looked like it was up to Mae to get the conversation started.

             “So, Drew, what’s up with your nose? You, like, a boxer? Or a vigilante?”

             “Mae!” Both Jackie and Bea seemed to shout at once. Drew self-consciously moved his hand to his crooked nose in an attempt to cover it.

             Crap. That had sounded a lot funnier in Mae’s head. Why had she said that? It wasn’t something people said. People didn’t talk about noses like that. People didn’t talk about noses in general.

             Well, the best thing to do in this situation was to apologize. Probably.

             “That was… not a good thing to say,” Mae said. “Sorry. Sometimes I say things and I don’t know why.”

             “Yeah, we all noticed,” Jackie grumbled.

             “It’s fine,” Drew said. He slowly moved his hand away from his nose. “Sorry. It’s just a thing that happened when I was younger. No big deal; could’ve been a lot worse.”

             When he was younger? God, something about all of this felt so weird. It all had Mae, like, on edge.

             “Well, it was nice meeting you, Drew,” Bea said. She put her hand on Mae’s shoulder and pulled her back, almost trying to rescue her from embarrassing herself further.

             “Have a good time, Drew,” Jackie said. “Have fun, get wasted, whatever.”

             “Thanks, you too,” Drew said hurriedly. He hung around for a few second, and then turned to walk away. In a few moments, he was lost in the crowd of dancing dorks.

             “Well, that night was a bunch of nothing,” Mae sighed.

             Not a lot had happened after meeting Drew. That was probably a good thing. Mae had felt weird all night, and it was only now, on the car ride home, that she was feeling better.

             “It was alright,” Bea said. They’d only been in the car for a few minutes, and she already had a lit cigarette out. “It was good practice. You still need a lot of work, though.”

             “Yeah. I mean, I love parties, but I’m kinda shit at them.” Mae laughed sadly. Had she even been to a party where she hadn’t made an ass of herself?

             Aside from, like, grade-school birthday parties?

             No. No, Mae felt like she always wound up humiliating herself. Not just at parties, but at life in general. Parties were just, like, a prime example of Mae’s ability to eff things up.

             The party in the woods when Mae came home, the party where she’d gone chasing after Bea… hell, senior prom had been a kind of party, and it had definitely been a disaster.

             And then there was the party at Possum Leap. The party she wasn’t going to think about.

             Her first beer. The crappy snacks. Casey’s stepdad’s truck.

             No. Nope. Wasn’t going to think about it. No.

             Mae quickly tried to think of something else to think about.

             “Hey, did that Drew guy seem familiar to you?” She asked.

             Bea gave Mae a confused look. It was her ‘Where exactly is this coming from?’ look. Mae got looks like that from people all the time. She didn’t always get why, which she realized probably wasn’t a great sign.

             Beatrice turned her attention back to the empty stretch of highway before them as she considered Mae’s question. “Hard to say,” she said. “You’ve got a better memory for, like, names and faces and shit. I guess I might have seen him at a party before.”

             “Do you think he went to school with us?” Mae asked. She just couldn’t really shake this feeling, and it was starting to freak her out a little.

             Bea didn’t seem to share Mae’s fears. “No, he’s from Briddle, I think,” she said. “And I don’t really remember going to school with anyone named Andrew.”

             Mae blinked. “Andrew?” She asked.

             “Yes, Mae. Andrew. The long form of Drew. Names can be shortened.”

             “Weird,” Mae said. “Like, when you first hear someone’s name, you just assume that’s their name, you know? Feels weird to…”

             Mae felt the world start to spin. It was a familiar feeling. She hadn’t felt it since that night in November, right before she and her friends found out the truth about their town.  Mae’s mind seemed to be thinking things too fast for her to keep up, and the world refused to keep pace.

             “Mae?” Bea asked. Then, with growing concern, “Mae?!”

             The car screeched to a halt along the side of the empty country road. Mae breathed in and out harder than she could ever remember breathing. She’d already figured out what was wrong. But she couldn’t quite find the words for it. After all, the odds weren’t likely, were they? This could only happen if Mae had been, like, hexed by some sort of hateful witch.

             “Mae, are you okay?!”

             Bea sounded terrified. More than that, it seemed like she was panicking. That brought Mae back a little. She didn’t want her friend to worry. Sure, Mae was having a terrible panic attack and it felt like she was falling into a deep, dark hole, but why make your friend worry?

             Mae Borowski took in a deep breath, found her words, and said the only thing that came to mind.

             “Andy.”

             Bea stared at Mae in confusion. Realization began to dawn on her gothy, eyeshadowed face. Poor, sweet Beatrice. Sweet, innocent Beatrice who’d never beaten a kid’s face in with a softball bat.

             “You think that was him?” Bea didn’t sound disbelieving. She sounded shocked. Mae didn’t blame her; she was shocked.

             “Beatrice,” Mae said. “I am one million percent sure that was Andy Cullen.”

[fa-ahhhh]

I bought my first bralette today and a the first belt in about two years. I have never really felt so confident as I do in this moment. So I want to tell my story. Disclaimer: I'm a sappy person and I've been wanting to post this for a while. so get ready. So in 2016 I wanted to live me more, is was the goal after the shittiest year that 2015 was. That year I was 245lbs. I didn't like the way I looked or sounded or even acted. I had horrible depression anxiety and self harm problems. Things only seemed to get worst by the end of the Sr year of high school. I felt left out because all of the people I was close to where dating someone and didn't seem to care about me. I ended up having a fling and it left me feeling dirty. When I ended it I had made a new friend and she was in the end of her relationship. I saw she liked someone. I told her, after I kissed her, that I liked them too. I didn't (sorry love) but I wanted her to be with him and she thrives under competition. When they got together I was left in almost the same spot. Alone. I tried to reach out to my best friend before her but when I went over to her house or try to make plans she seemed awkward and cancel them. In fact she got mad at me because I tried to make a Christmas party bigger with more people I found out months later that she told me she canceled it only to have it with her boyfriend and a few. other people. Yes I know about that and it hurts. I became close to those who wanted my time. I didn't stop trying to be everyone's friend though. If stop in the halls and stand there. I could honestly go on and on about my attempts to just stay close to those who I knew. It became pointless. One of my dearest friends started to try to end a very abusive relationship I would like to say that I hope me and him can continue to support each other through everything we do. He and other mutual friends in later months told me all that my best friend had done or said in regards to my hurt feelings. By the time graduation has round I've completely given up, that my best friend for three years was happy I cried over her, that my support system didn't care. So desperate to be wanted I dated someone who is a poor poor fit for me it only lasted about a month and I made the mistake of going back to my fling. Sadly the loss of my best friend wasn't the worst to happen in 2015. My fling "loved" me. He stuck his dick in me knowing I didn't want to have sex. Many times. He held on so tight every time I tried to leave his house because I stayed with some one who used my body to masturbate with. This went on for most of the summer it was an aggressive like it was the first time we had sex many times and I thought it was fine. I didn't understand I didn't want that. When I stopped talking to him he showed up at my work fucked up at 4 am. I felt bad for him and so I was going to give them a ride home he wouldn't get out of my car at his house and insisted we went to "our spot" one last time. He kept trying to tour my face so I went so he'd stop touching me. When we got there I stayed two arm's-length away from him. Then when I went to leave he kissed me. When you're being kissed a few hundred feet above water you can't go far. It was so aggressive. I didn't talk afterward. He just kept saying if I'm not the last I'll be the best. You weren't. I never talked to him after that other then don't talk to me. I didn't tell anyone about it until about a month later because I thought I consented before and then I realize I never really did I just became implied because he took it from me once why should I stop him a second third or fourth time. I hated myself so much that I was concerned I was gonna try and kill myself again. I've been working on a tattoo that said myself over a heart so I got it because I had to start loving myself. I got it over a self harm scar I got at the end of my junior year of high school I was taken to the ER over it. I went to college parties and made out with boys and I cried. All I could think was him touching me and grabbing me and hurting me. For some reason I got my work placed it up to me and I wanted him to a knowledge me. Our very short shorts when I came in to check my schedule when I knew he was working and he checked out me. One of my English assignments was to create an argumentative essay about rape. It was hard. So ducking hard. I brought it to work and sat down in the back booth and it up telling the guy was trying to attract about how it has happened to me and how writing this paper was hard. Encouraged me and told me about what happened to him when he was 11 years old. For A month after I turn in my paper and we talked and flirted constantly. After so much I got put on of third shift he was managing it was so slow I farted all night and about 20 minutes before the opening manager came in I kissed him because he made a remark about how he wouldn't kiss me because I cried when I kissed boys. I woke up gitty and unafraid. A few days later I almost cut off two fingers. The end of the year we came to rollaround and he gave me my first New Year's kiss. Thanks to him and my current friends I made it to 2016 and that year I decided it was for me. It was for me to love me and put me first and for me to realize that none of my past was worth it. In 2016 I was a vengeful and petty I found out so many things with Heather true or not does not matter I found out how much I was blamed for it only made me angry and disappointed. I found out what a big whore and lead on I was in high school even though it only dated three people. I found out the way people felt about me or at least what they were told. That year I wanted to do something that seemed so stupid I wanted to be a model so I did it. I went to two different talent agencies and chose the one that didn't creep me out. After about a month there I found out that my ex best friend was employed under them. There is a moment that one over me of maybe somehow will end up friends out of this again like they do in movies. Now I realize there would be no point and that if we ever see each other we should probably just act if we were strangers. That would be hard because I'd like to tell you how incredibly wrong you are in so many ways of so many things you assumed. And these are things that I've assumed these are things that your best friends have told me. And it's not because I contacted them because they were hurt by you. And 2016 most of my friends left my part of the states going on to bigger and better things. Happy for them I was sad and alone however I have this boy who somehow made me feel amazing about myself again. 2016 I got back on my feet I didn't hate myself I mean there are moments that were hard of course but I had someone to pick me up every step of the way. There are times I don't know what to say to those who I care about and I wish there was just a phrase I could say and they would understand but there isn't. Thank you and I love you it's not good enough for them. Now in 2017 I am strong I am brave and I am loved by so many people by myself that I can post pictures of myself in a bralette. I can show my progress and working out and being healthier and I am on afraid. I will take whatever consequences I have to to become the person I want to be. So if you read this thank you for your concern I am a better person now possibly thanks to you. ✌🏼️

[awesomecolorfulcollectorwombat]

Weighing The Week Ahead: Can Earnings Season Spark A Rebound In Stocks?

New Post has been published on http://tradewithoutfear.com/weighing-the-week-ahead-can-earnings-season-spark-a-rebound-in-stocks/

Weighing The Week Ahead: Can Earnings Season Spark A Rebound In Stocks?

We have a normal economic calendar with a focus on housing data. Earnings season will be in full swing. The background for this news will, of course, be the stock market volatility and decline of the past week. That story will command the early-week attention, especially if aggressive selling resumes. Recent earnings seasons have buoyed stocks, leaving the punditry with this question: Can earnings season spark a rebound in stocks?

Last Week Recap

In my last edition of WTWA I took note of rising interest rates asking whether they signaled the beginning of the end for the stock rally. That was a good call. The question dominated financial news on Monday and Tuesday, even though stocks barely moved. It was almost as if the news coverage was pre-planned, and events did not matter. That changed on Wednesday, when the major market decline gave legs to the story. The last edition of WTWA provided a good preview of this, but certainly no prediction of the sharp selling.

The Story in One Chart

I always start my personal review of the week by looking at a great chart. I especially like the version updated each week by Jill Mislinski. She includes a lot of valuable information in a single visual. The full post has even more charts and analysis, including commentary on volume. Check it out.

The market declined 4.1% on the week. Wednesday saw the largest single-day loss since February. The weekly trading range was about 6.4%. Volatility spike higher, exceeding the long-term averages. The VIX implied volatility measure remained higher than the actual results. I summarize actual and implied volatility each week in our Indicator Snapshot section below.

Noteworthy

Have you already purchased your last car? Justin Rowlatt (BBC News) raises the provocative question and provides plenty of evidence. Internal combustion engines have 2000 parts, compared to about 20 for electric cars, which may have life spans of 500,000 miles.

The News

Each week I break down events into good and bad. For our purposes, “good” has two components. The news must be market friendly and better than expectations. I avoid using my personal preferences in evaluating news – and you should, too!

When relevant, I include expectations (E) and the prior reading (P).

The Good

Inflation data remained benign. PPI registered a gain of 0.2% up from P of -0.1% but in line with expectations. CPI gained only 0.1% P 0.2% headline and 0.1% core. E 0.2%.

High Frequency Indicators have turned positive, including the long-leading cluster. New Deal Democrat’s helpful weekly update breaks the data into two groups, providing both detail and a summary on each. The long-leading group has shifted back and for recently, and he continues to monitor it closely. For now, it is positive.

Economic growthfor Q3 and forward remains strong. Calculated Risk summarizes the key sources, “It looks like GDP will be in the 3s in Q3”.

Market sentiment has turned negative – very negative. David Templeton (HORAN) updates the Fear and Greed picture, a positive contrarian factor.

The Bad

As has been the recent case, most of the “bad” news consists of indicators slightly off the best levels.

NFIB Small Business optimism was slightly off the high from last month – 107.9 vs. 108.8. Bespoke also looks at the reasons behind the headline number.

Initial jobless claims rose to 214K E 208K P 207K

Michigan sentiment declined to 99.0 E 100 P 100.1. Bespoke notes that sentiment remains near the recent highs and highlights the move in inflation expectations. Expectations for income growth were also lower. The survey period captured only part of last week’s decline, and probably none of it for most respondents.

The Ugly

Hurricane Florence led to 51 deaths and estimated damages of $30 billion to $50 billion. The events have also exposed other problems. The Bipartisan Policy Center provides a good analysis, with this comment on some needed reforms:

Hurricane Florence has, like many other recent disasters, exposed a variety of flaws in the pre-disaster and post-disaster policies of the United States. These gaps undermine the nation’s resilience, endanger residents, and further jeopardize the soundness of already aging infrastructure. For immediate recovery needs, Congress has repeatedly turned to supplemental funding as short-term fixes, but to prevent this level of destruction from reoccurring in the wake of the next disaster, there needs to be a dramatic overhaul of the national infrastructure investments and disaster framework. Spending more upfront, with a focus on increased resiliency and mitigation, saves money when a disaster hits. For every $1 spent on mitigation, an estimated $6 is saved that otherwise would have been spent in recovery costs.

The Week Ahead

We would all like to know the direction of the market in advance. Good luck with that! Second best is planning what to look for and how to react.

The Calendar

The calendar is a big one, with a strong emphasis on housing. Also featured will be retail sales, the Fed minutes, and leading indicators. The Philly Fed has its fans, and it has had some market-moving moments. A favorite of mine is the JOLTS report, which has special significance as our best read on the tightening labor market.

It is also a big week for Q3 earnings reports, where we had our first taste last week. Many large companies will report. Expectations are for continuing increases in the 20% range on a year-over-year basis. (Barron’s).

Briefing.com has a good U.S. economic calendar for the week (and many other good features which I monitor each day). Here are the main U.S. releases.

Next Week’s Theme

Once again, I expect last week’s news to linger into the week ahead. My hope is that the story will turn to earnings season and substantive stock news. For the moment everyone is preoccupied with last week’s big stock declines. Mrs. OldProf and I were watching an interview with a European notable who described the stock decline as either a healthy correction or the start of a new trend. She astutely observed that he certainly had all the bases covered! By week’s end I expect pundits to be asking: Can earnings season generate a rebound in stocks?

But for the moment, we need to review the week behind. Sometimes an understanding of that is necessary to plan for the week ahead.

As is my custom, I will cite a range of viewpoints and include some links. I will organize these into two sections: Alleged causes and Recommended strategies.

Causes

Valuation – Always cited when stocks move a bit lower.

Profit Taking – A tried and true reason when a rising market changes course. (Barron’s, which also mentions some of the other potential causes listed here).

The Fed – Now apparently less data dependent, planning to keep raising rates above neutral regardless of the strength of the economy. Leading Fed guru Tim Duy notes the increased importance of the “dot plots,” the report of individual Fed participants expectations for future rates.

Tariffs – Dr. Ed Yardeni analyzes the impact of various tariff announcements and muses on the possibility that a trade war with China is now the “base case” as JP Morgan suggests. Dr. Ed believes:

…the US economy will be strong enough to boost S&P 500 earnings by 6.8% to $173 per share, which has been our number for next year for a while. I don’t think that the escalating trade war with China will be the event that ends the bull market in the US (Fig. 3). However, it may already be marking the beginning of a severe and prolonged bear market in China (Fig. 4).

Interest rates – The standard shorthand explanation from major news sources.

Technical signals – Eddy Elfenbein notes that Thursday’s trading took the S&P 500 below its 200-day moving average, a widely-followed technical indicator. Eddy also observes that panic is not indicated. The two-day loss is not that unusual, and not even the worst for 2018. The chart below illustrates both points.

Algorithms — blamed for anything and everything.

Emotion — Just another panic attack writes Scott Grannis. He concludes, “It wouldn’t be surprising to see prices decline further, but it would be surprising if this proved to be the beginning of a major rout or recession”. In his summary of key indicators, he includes an interesting chart of VIX peaks. He creates a ratio with the ten-year note yield. It is a coincident measure.

What to do now?

Buy bonds, say bond fund managers and bond research houses. Flirting with Models offers some alternatives for diversification.

Buy gold (or silver) say the fear-inspiring commercials.

Sell everything – the verdict of many investment newsletters

Don’t panic? Cullen Roche explains why this admonition is not helpful.

Buy the dip – David Templeton (HORAN) takes a good look at the data, concluding:

Some might say the decline has caused damage to the market, but a better phrase might be created opportunity. As the below chart shows only 11% of S&P 500 stocks are trading above their 50 day moving average. The last time this occurred was in February earlier this year. That turns out to be a low point in the market so far in 2018. In regards to the 200 day moving average, 41% of stocks are trading above that level, again similar to the early 2018 market low.

Buy with both hands – Ralph Vince sees the current opportunity as “juicy.”

Get perspective by considering data – then figure out how it applies to you. Brett Steenbarger explains both.

In today’s Final Thought, I’ll add a few of my own observations.

Quant Corner

We follow some regular featured sources and the best other quant news from the week.

Risk Analysis

I have a rule for my investment clients. Think first about your risk. Only then should you consider possible rewards. I monitor many quantitative reports and highlight the best methods in this weekly update.

The Indicator Snapshot

Short-term trading conditions remain favorable, despite some deterioration. The overall health indicator for our models remains positive, although some of the individual models stopped out specific positions. Super-high volatility is not attractive for most trading systems. If these high levels continue, I expect further deterioration next week. The VIX spiked much higher than actual volatility, indicating sentiment worse than the reality.

Fundamentals indicators are all solid, with stocks much more attractive than recently. The earnings yield advantage over the S&P 500 has improved significantly.

The Featured Sources:

Bob Dieli: Business cycle analysis via the “C Score.

Brian Gilmartin: All things earnings, for the overall market as well as many individual companies.

RecessionAlert: Strong quantitative indicators for both economic and market analysis.

Doug Short and Jill Mislinski: Regular updating of an array of indicators. Great charts and analysis.

Georg Vrba: Business cycle indicator and market timing tools. None of Georg’s indicators signal recession. Here is the latest chart on the Business Cycle Index.

Insight for Traders

Check out our weekly Stock Exchange post. We combine links to important posts about trading, themes of current interest, and ideas from our trading models. This week we asked whether traders thought they could actually understand the stock market. Or perhaps they were just pretending. In many ways, it is a companion to today’s post, but with a trader orientation. We shared advice by top trading experts and discussed some recent picks from our trading models. Our ringleader and editor, Blue Harbinger, provided fundamental counterpoint for the models, all of which are technically-based.

Insight for Investors

Investors should have a long-term horizon. They can often exploit trading volatility.

Best of the Week

If I had to pick a single most important source for investors to read this week, it would be Ashby Daniels’ (Retirement Field Guide) discussion of emotions and retirement planning. He illustrates his ideas with the story of an actual investor who made a knee-jerk market call that turned out well – at least for a few percentage points. Now what?

He writes:

Many people are quick to say that they aren’t market timers (nobody likes to be labeled as such), but then in the next sentence proceed to ask what I think of the market and whether now is a good time to invest more or to take some chips off the table.

In fact, the question, “What do you think of the market?” is by far the most popular question that I get asked. I just want to be on the record in saying that, “Anything other than establishing a portfolio built specifically for you and sticking with that portfolio is an attempt at market timing.” With the exception of life changes, how could it be anything else?

Read the full article for some good ideas about how to plan and stick to the plan. [Jeff – I suppose I like his approach since it is so close to my own, but there is nothing wrong with that].

Stock Ideas

Chuck Carnevale provides his usual comprehensive analysis combined with a lesson in using data. He sees Whirlpool [WHR] as a cheap stock with little downside. Be sure to watch the video to see why he calls this a “fire sale valuation.”

Blue Harbinger also surveys beaten-down names and finds one from his watch list, Ship Finance International (SFL).

Alphabet? (GOOG) Stone Fox Capital likes the opportunity, IF the company dodges or resolves regulatory issues.

They also like Advanced Micro Devices (AMD), calling market fears about competition with Intel (INTC) unwarranted.

Eddy Elfenbein does not make a specific recommendation, but he takes note of the current weakness in semiconductors, after years of strength.

Personal Finance

Seeking Alpha Senior Editor Gil Weinreich’s Asset Allocation Daily is consistently both interesting and informative. His upbeat analysis,4 Ways to Prevail Over Automation, is factual, pragmatic, and inspirational. Later in the week, his thoughts were more sobering. He challenged investors to consider how they would consider a prolonged decline. That is a topic that everyone should think about in advance.

Abnormal Returns is an important daily source for all of us following investment news. His Wednesday Personal Finance Post is especially helpful for individual investors. This week had several good posts on retirement. I especially liked Mike Piper’s warning that you might not be able to pick your retirement age. He combines data with some good examples. And, today’s Best of the Week (above).

Watch out for…

Bonds. The Mad Hedge Fund Trader says The Fat Lady is Singing for the Bond Market.

Final Thought

What caused the sharp market decline? Interest rates are a poor explanation, since the entire yield curve was the same on Wednesday morning as it was on Friday. Astute traders scoffed at the explanations offered (Avi Gilburt).

I covered the possible pattern in last week’s edition, which was an accurate preview. Briefly put, a smidgen of news sparks some trading from both human traders and algorithms. This is directionally correct, but without analysis of the overall significance. The selling often spreads to an ETF that has concentrations in the affected stocks. Sometimes prices that are viewed by some as important “technical” levels are violated. This sparks selling by a different group of traders. Despite the lack of overall logic or a cohesive explanation, the financial news must satisfy demand for an explanation. I wrote last week:

Every time the market makes a small move we are bombarded by observers predicting the worst. It is important to remember that declines of 15-20% happen regularly and without any particular reason. No one can predict these accurately, so the average investor should learn to take advantage of the movement rather than falling for the persistent pseudo-warnings. Alan Steel calls it the Fear Economy, and reviews the history of predictions by one prominent uber-bear.

Alan Steel has another great post. Starting with a bearish call from one economist from a big institution, he traces the consequences:

Let’s face it they’d seen articles written by “proper experts” reminding readers that October was a dangerous month to invest in shares.

Mark Twain used to say that yonks ago. Although he also reckoned that February, December, August, May, January, July, September, March, November April and June were, too. Say no more.

No matter what we said this couple of perpetual worriers cashed out and stuck their significant life savings in bank deposit, assuring us they’d reinvest when it felt better. So when would that be? “When the market’s higher of course”. No, they didn’t spot the irony. So three years later how have they done? Not good I’m afraid . Earned literally sod all in interest, and lost money in real terms thanks to inflation.

And also this…

In August 2010 an analysis was made of ten renowned economic experts and their predictions related to an imminent “double-dip recession” in the wake of the 2007/8 Great Financial Crisis. They included well –known revered figures including Robert Shiller (Prof at Yale University), Bill Gross (Former managing partner at PIMCO), Nouriel Roubini (Prof at New York University) as well as those economists representing Goldman Sachs, The Institute of Directors and the National Institute for Economic and Social Research.

They all saw the probabilities of a double-dip recession as higher than normal. One or two saw the probability as high as 50% to over 60%. And they were wrong. Unless you count the fall in demand for Hummus and Taramasalata in Greece.

[A few months earlier, in May of 2010, I challenged these ideas with my Dow 20K call – the market doubling rather than being cut in half. There were plenty of skeptics, especially on Seeking Alpha. Or this halfway update. And finally, the 2016 CNBC coverage. The important takeaway is that the key indicators I am using have not changed, nor has the avalanche of negativity. The time to worry will come – probably when recession odds move higher.]

Barry Ritholtz offers a challenge on the same concept. He notes that the factors alleged to underly the decline were well known in advance. So many offered great explanations with the benefit of hindsight. But not on Tuesday.

What now? Your best course of action depends upon your personal circumstances and time frame.

If you are a trader, follow your system. Use your stops to exit positions. Get ready for another day.

If you are a passive investor with an “all-weather” portfolio, you should not do anything. This sort of move comes with the territory. If you find it disturbing, then your stock position may be too large. Or you need to spend less time watching the news!

If you are an active investor who determines values of the companies you hold and price targets for the stocks, you should ignore the opinion of the emotional Mr. Market. Take advantage of price disparities to buy or sell as indicated. Volatility provides opportunity.

[Note: If you find these recommendations difficult, you may be using the wrong method. We combine these perspectives to right-size risk. My two papers on investor pitfalls and understanding risk are available at no charge.]

I’m more worried about:

China trade. Any mention of progress or lack thereof generates an immediate market reaction. This issue is important and could provide the catalyst for major gains.

The LIBOR transition. This reference rate for many contracts has proven to be both unfair and unstable. Improvements are coming, but Richard Berner (Bipartisan Policy Center) warns that we should not be complacent during the transition.

I’m less worried about:

Earnings growth. Can it be a catalyst again this month? The reaction to conference calls will give us a sense of the market mood.

Disclosure: I am/we are long WHR, INTC.

I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it. I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.

Additional disclosure: Short calls versus both WHR and INTC.

[travisandersondatingblog]

How To Stop Being Jealous: 5 Great Tips To Save Your Relationship

You want to know how to stop being jealous. You want to get rid of that horrible feeling you get when you’re wondering…

“Am I crazy, or is there something wrong here? Is my man interested in her??”

Before you’re too hard on yourself, let me just say: jealousy is a completely normal feeling. But the level of jealousy you have may negatively impact your love life. That’s why I’m going to help you learn how to stop being jealous in this video and article.

They don’t call it the Green-Eyed Monster for nothing. Jealousy can make you do crazy things. But let’s keep the cray out of your relationship, m’kay?

Your Coach,

      P.S. If you’re having trouble getting your guy to commit, your jealousy might be the thing blocking you. After you read this article to learn how to stop being jealous, sign up for my FREE Casual to Committed training program. You’ll learn how to be treated like the high-value woman that you are!

Introduction

via GIPHY

We all know jealousy, either because we’ve felt it, or someone we’ve dated has expressed it. But still,  what is jealousy in a relationship?

Jealousy is an emotion. You may experience thoughts of insecurity, anger, or fear or concern over losing someone to someone else. You worry that the guy you’re dating is interested in other women.

The cashier at the dry cleaner’s.

Your best friend.

Your mom.

Okay, obviously it’s possible to go overboard in terms of being jealous every time he looks at another woman, but certainly, if he’s spending more time than usual talking to a woman, those insecurities might flare up.

Did you know that even animals experience jealousy? According to psychologists Abraham Buunk and Alejandro Castro Solano, some birds, like bank swallows, do what’s called mate guarding where they spy on their mates as often as 100 times a day. Their purpose is to guard and defend their territory, which includes their sexual partners. Still, 100 times? That’s a bit much, birds!

Imagine if bank swallows had access to Instagram! They’d easily get up to checking on their mates 200 times a day.

When Jealousy Interferes with Your Relationship

Maybe your boyfriend has pointed out on numerous occasions how you act when he talks to other women.

Maybe you’ve noticed that you’re arguing more than you used to.

Chances are, your jealousy is having a negative impact on your relationship, and you need to learn how to stop being jealous asap to save it.

When you constantly question your partner about his actions, he feels like you don’t trust him. And obviously you don’t, or you would be more secure in his love of you.

It helps to understand where jealousy comes from. Jealousy is a fear of loss. You may love this man so much, you can’t imagine a life without him. And so you fear losing him. You constantly worry that you’re not good enough and measure yourself against every woman he talks to.

You may have past relationship experiences that cause you to have this fear. Maybe men have broken your heart in the past. Maybe you felt abandoned as a child. Whatever happened, you can’t seem to believe that you can hold onto love indefinitely.

It takes some work to get past this, but the first step is to learn how to stop being jealous so that you can get back to having a healthy and happy relationship with this man.

A Word on When Jealousy Goes Too Far

While it’s unlikely that you’d take your jealousy too far, be aware that it can be associated with aggression and violence. You’ve heard that saying that jealousy makes us do crazy things, and sometimes it’s true. If you are to the point where you might hurt yourself, your partner, or a female you think he’s cheating on you with, please get help. These are not healthy feelings.

5 Tips on How to Stop Being Jealous and Save Your Relationship

Now that you understand a bit more about where jealousy comes from and why it’s so important to move past it and let go of that fear of losing your man, let’s look at some strategies to help you learn how to stop being jealous.

Learning how to stop being jealous could save your relationship.

1. Recognize It’s a Problem

Is being jealous a recurring pattern for you? Do an inventory of past relationships to figure out if that’s the case. Were you anxious with past boyfriends, or is this completely new with this one?

If you see a pattern of you erupting every time any man you’ve been with talks to a woman, then the issue is yours.

If you’ve never been jealous until dating this man, go deeper. Is there something about this guy that you have trouble trusting? That may be a different issue that you need to explore.

Either way, recognize that the situation can’t go on as it is, because it’s having a negative impact on your relationship.

2. Look At Your Relationship From a Different Perspective

Barista: “Here’s your change. Your coffee will be out soon.”

Your boyfriend: “Thanks. Have a good day.”

You: “What the hell? Why were you flirting with her??”

You see the situation from your own point of view. You see your man as highly desirable, and when he talks to other women, you fear that a) that woman will be all over him and b) he will gladly respond. But step away from the situation for just a moment. See things from his perspective.

Maybe he feels like you’re clinging too tightly to him. That he can’t make eye contact with another female without you freaking out. That he’s got to walk on eggshells around you.

If you were him, how would you feel?

You may be shocked to realize that this guy probably won’t put up with your erratic behavior much longer, which should be all the inspiration you need to work on how to stop being jealous.

3. Try to Figure Out the True Cause of Your Jealousy

Spend some time reflecting on what causes you to be jealous.

If, after doing an inventory of past relationships, you realize that you do indeed have a history of being jealous, try to get to the root cause.

Scientists have a few theories on what causes jealousy, so see if any of these fit you.

One is based on the model of limited resources. A long time ago, people were constantly battling starvation. To survive, they had to compete against family and friends for the limited resources. Survival of the fittest, if you will. People were envious of others and coveted their food supply. And so, the concept of jealousy as a competitive emotion is one that has evolved over time.

It may be caused, as I said earlier, by a history of loss, betrayal, or abandonment, either in a past relationship with a man or in your family. If your dad cheated on your mom, you may have trouble trusting men yourself. If you’ve been hurt, you may worry about being left again.

Another cause of your jealousy might be your attachment style. The anxious attachment style is one characterized by insecurities, which is a major component of jealousy.

And finally, where you are in your relationship may contribute. If you’ve gotten past the first few months of dating, you understandably have invested more time and emotion into this person, and therefore have more to risk. If you’re jealous a lot, you’re probably in the Struggle stage and not yet to the Working/Partnership stage. But you’ll get there…only if you learn how to stop being jealous.

4. Remember: You’re a High-Value Woman. Act That Way

It’s perfectly normal: we get jealous when we feel threatened. But it’s how you respond to that jealousy that makes all the difference in the world.

You can respond by yelling at your boyfriend for what you consider inappropriate behavior (but no one else would see it that way)…

Or you can acknowledge the uncomfortable feelings and process them.

Don’t deny that you’re feeling jealous. Instead, sit with that feeling. Explore it.

“I’m feeling jealous right now. What’s triggering this?”

You may want to wait until you’re not in the middle of the situation to reflect on what caused those feelings of anxiety. If you think it’s worth having a conversation with your boyfriend about, wait until you can express yourself without being accusatory:

“When you were talking to your ex at the party, I suddenly felt jealous. I realized that because my ex got back together with his ex, I’m a little jealous when you talk to her. Can we discuss this?”

With this approach, your boyfriend will want to do anything to make you feel better. Accusing him of wanting to get back with his ex, on the other hand, won’t win you any awards.

Jealousy can also come from a lack of self-confidence. This may be an area of your life that would be well worth investing a little energy into building up.

5. Avoid Social Media Stalking

So your man liked a picture of a girl he knew back in high school. So what? It doesn’t mean anything.

It’s crazy how much women read into actions on social media. Every like, poke, and comment seems to have secret meaning to you.

I say: leave it alone! Social media is designed to give us a glimpse into the lives of our social circles. If he’s friends with someone from high school, it’s not a big deal. You might be friends with guys from high school, so how is it different?

And here’s something interesting: researchers found that people who are prone to jealousy tend to monitor their partners’ Facebook activity more than others. The more they snooped, the more things they found suspicious…at least in their own heads. This made them spy even more, creating a terrible cycle of jealousy.

Just stay away from your guy’s social media accounts, okay? If he had anything to hide, he certainly wouldn’t be blasting it for everyone to see, now would he?

Conclusion:

If jealousy is controlling your life, it’s time to do something about it.

I know that jealousy can feel like a runaway train that you can’t control, but trust me: learning how to stop being jealous is completely within your control. It does take effort, though.

The first step is understanding that it’s a problem, and then diving into what’s causing it. I don’t know about you, but whenever I figure out some big thing about what makes me tick (or what makes me do certain bad habits), it feels like I’m more aligned with how I want to live in life. What I mean is: if you figure out what’s making you a crazy jealousmonster, you can work on changing that and having a more healthy and meaningful relationship with the man you’re with.

If this guy is The Guy, you’ll want to work on yourself so that you can be a better partner. A solid relationship involves two people who can communicate in a healthy way. If you’re having feelings of anxiety, don’t be shy about talking to him about them…but find a way to have a constructive conversation about it rather than ending up in yet another argument.

Step away from your feelings to see the situation. Do you really think he’s flirting with the barista right there in front of you? Especially when you’ve got so much to offer him? No way.

That does it for Part 1 of this deep dive into how to stop being jealous. In Part 2 — which is exclusively for Sexy Confident members — I teach you how to deal with him being jealous of you! The other side of the coin. In Part 2, I give you four tips to deal with his jealousy, as well as one piece of coaching homework to reflect on.

Want to unlock Part 2: How to Deal with His Jealousy? Join the Sexy Confidence Club and get exclusive content, live advanced coaching calls every month, and exclusive interviews with world-renowned dating coaches.

  The post How To Stop Being Jealous: 5 Great Tips To Save Your Relationship appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #51: Funnyman.

Written: 2/25/2017

I’ve always known that I would have a good chance to make it as a stand up comedian, my life is plenty shitty and no matter what happens, I never stop laughing at it. Sometimes people tell me, “Arty, why are you laughing right now? This is serious. Don’t turn such a sad occasion into a mockery.” Or something like that, my memories not to good. Maybe only one person told me that and I applied it to many people who told me many things, haha. You see, my thinking hasn’t been very well (superman thinks good) since the accident, since I was suddenly thrown around in that metal box, and my kids on my lap, ripped open, intestines hanging out and in their eyes I can make out a message, they sent that message from their eyes, and they said, “So this is what dyings like.” Like, “Can you call me in sick, I don’t want this to ruin my perfect attendance, I don’t want the teachers to get mad at me for not turning in homework.” Kids, always saying such funny things. I wish I had kids still, but hey, you gotta play the cards you’re dealt. Some times its a flush, like the way my life went down the toilet, flush!

Okay, I don’t think I said that I was actually funny. I only meant that I’m able to treat my suffering with a humorous nature. Doesn’t matter if what I say can make other people laugh, all I know is that I can laugh plenty and that’s good enough for me.

I remember when the doctor told me that my child doesn’t make it, and I told him, “No shit, and here I was thinking that you just put their guts back inside, sewed them up, good as new.” He didn’t find it too funny, so I said, “Where can I go to buy a new one?” I told him, “I have no time to knock a girl up, I’m supposed to take the little brat to their mother’s in about an hour.” A stern and confused look was all I got back in response, but I didn’t care because my jokes aren’t for everyone, you know? People with good childhoods just can’t understand folks with bad ones, sometimes we have to chuckle at misery, and nobody has a better sense of humor then my kid. Okay, I’m starting to get tired of these kid jokes, I’m just beating a dead kid now.

Okay, I swear I’m done now.

Where was I going with all this, what was the point I was trying to make? Things get a little foggy when I try to remember them, like I can’t remember what my kid looked like, their name, or very much about them. Hell, I remember their insides more than their outs. I know that kid like the back of their liver.

Okay, I’m actually done now.

Hm… Oh yeah, being a stand up asshole. I always thought I could make a career out of jokes, sometimes you don’t have to be funny, or that might just be a lie that untalented people tell themselves, “You don’t have to be good, you just have to want it!” “You don’t need to have anything that requires you to be successful, you can do whatever you want if you put your mind to it.” “The size don’t matter, its how you use it” And whose more unqualified than I am? If I had any talent it, I must have lost it. Mo talent, mo problems. I never bothered with a career as a comedian, though, because I was busy doing other things that I was equally terrible at.

Like, I was married at one point, then divorced, and it seemed like there were identical to each other. There’s no sex, and all you hear is gripes about how they want money and how you’re being a lousy father to your kid. If I started dating again then I would probably have two women who hated me, and I’m not so good at juggling. I’m not so good at anything, except being miserable. I went to the school of hard knocks, and I got a doctorate in being a lousy bum. I did my thesis by.. Uh…

What was I getting at? Oh well, it’ll come back when it wants to. I swear my memory is like Groundhogs Day. I have to wait for the poor bastard to pop out, and if he gets startled by his own shadow its another while of confusion. I don’t know why he’s so easily startled, nothing scares me anymore. If my house was robbed, it would be nice because all I own was crap, it would be like free movers and I wouldn’t have to pay a dime. They’d be the poor saps in that scenario, because at best they could only get a hundred bucks from all of my possessions. Death is no big deal, it seems like it happens to everyone but me anyways. Its like I’m at the middle school prom, and nobody’s asking me to dance. I ask death out on a date, and she tells me that she’s a lesbian. Next thing I know she’s been hooking up with my mother, father, kid, my friends, old teachers, people on the news.. Its like every minute there’s another sex scandal with death, always in the papers, and it don’t matter who she’s hooking up with, all I know is it isn’t me, but I’m used to rejection.

It was like puling teeth to get anybody to go out with me, but without any Novocain. I don’t mean to tooth my own horn, but if I’m pretty great at being rejected. I can make the girl with the lowest standards possible walk out of any date, its like a superpower. They should put me in banks so they don’t get robbed. I could try to give somebody a million dollars and they’d make some brittle excuse to not take it. Some people say my jokes are off putting, and they’re probably right, but I like to think that so much more of me is repulsive. I can never get a confessional, its great. Naturally, when my kid was gone and I didn’t have to deal with my ex wife anymore, I swore off dating because there was nothing to prove anymore. I already showed that everyone has a limit, and that limit is me. I thought about getting a denim jacket with the words “ROCK BOTTOM” bedazzled on the back, but I couldn’t get anyone to agree to make it for me.

My favorite past time had become watching movies. I like dramas because they really tear me up inside, I swear one day I’m going to become mute from laughter. Hell, maybe people will like me if they can’t hear what I have to say, but then again they have other senses that can help them reject me. Checks and balances, I’m just like the government, and I work just as well too. To be honest, I don’t know anything about current politics, and I couldn’t even tell you who our president is.

Stand up comedy! Yes! Now I remember! So, I finally decided to pick up a career in that awful business because I watched so many movies, all I did was watch movies, and I started to get a little interested in that actress, Greta something, and I decided that she had to be the last woman to reject me. I’ve been rejected by all sorts of women, but never by one who is so charming, beautiful, well, basically who is the antithesis to myself. I watched all of her movies, her reality television show, interviews, and even found a bunch of pictures that paparazzi had taken of her. I devoured every little bit of information about her that I could, and it was well documented so if I forgot something I could find it again. I must have learned the same things about her about a hundred times each, every time I saw them again it was like a brand new discovery, but I don’t know if that’s the memory loss, or proof of how much I love her. I’ve never been rejected by a girl I love, either. I guess you could call me a romantic that way. Most guys want to sleep with all sorts of women, but I want to do the opposite. I get rejected by girls when I try to pay them to humiliate me, I’m a real Casanova.

This actress, this wonderful actress, this perfect human being, I realize that she does an interview on the same talk show, on the same date every year, and on that show there’s always a stand up comedian guest. And what have I believed that I can make a living by? No really, I forgot, tell me. That’s a joke. If you have lots of jokes one of them might be good, a broken comedian can get two laughs a day. Remember which jokes get laughs, and then keep trying new ones, and eventually, after months of hard work, you might actually have a good routine. This is what I did, this is what I did to make a name for myself so that I could get on that show and pledge my love to her, so she could reject me, then I could put a bullet in her, so she could never reject anyone else. I’d be the last person she rejected, and even spoke to, so the bond we’d share would last forever.

Those comedy clubs were awful places, and you could tell because they let me do stand up there. Any place that lets me inside is not a very good place. I once gave a very good restaurant a one star review because it was willing to serve me. Waitresses never flirt with me for tips, the trouble they’d have to go through would be more than I could pay. I’d give them an arm and a leg, but that payment would mean that they’d still have to touch me. I give restaurants better reviews if they’re willing to treat me better, like if a chef spits in my burger then I know its a respectable place. Five stars if they tell me I have to leave, and four stars if they say I can’t sit in the restaurant, and have to take everything home in a to-go box. I started bringing my own boxes so they wouldn’t be a hassle, and they made me eat in the bathroom, what a life. Inmates don’t have the luxuries that I have.

I think the only reason I was able to get my career going was because somebody beat the piss out of me during one of my sets, and the wholesome folks of the internet ate that shit up. I realized all I had to do was be so unfunny that people would become aggressive, and they would do all of the comedy work for me. You could say that I’m very good at delegating, and maybe I should run a business…. Into the ground! Haha. So every night I go on stage, say something awful, and then somebody starts to heckle me, and I just make bad jokes back at them. The hecklers are funnier than I am, but that’s what people come to see. I’m so bad I make others look better. I swear, all one guy had to say was “Fuck off” and the whole audience was in an uproar. All I had to do was get somebody to bust my nose open just to get recognition. I’m like a pinata with horrible jokes inside, I’m like a pinata you hate. People love to hate, and it seems like they enjoy it more than love. I love it that people hate me, because of all the strong emotions that I can arise in them.

Eventually, I got a good cult following going with my acts, and sometimes famous comedians would come to my shows to heckle me, and further their own careers. There was a real community spirit, like a lynching or a mob mentality. I should’ve gotten a career as one of Putin’s political rivals, he’d get voted in every time. Wait, doesn’t he already do that? Shit, its like I was lucid for a second and I lost it. Actually, I think that was something that a crowd member yelled at me. They yelled so much at me, it was like being back in my childhood home. Speaking of kids, there was one kid who would set up outside my shows, selling tomatoes for people to throw at me. I didn’t think that people even did that, but at the end of some shows I’d have more tomato sauce on me than spaghetti. You know, cause spaghetti has sauce on it, and the tomatoes would leave mush all over me when they struck my body.

This whole time I kept sending Greta letters, it was nonstop. I’d write about five a day, and then I’d seal them with a little kiss, like I saw her do in one of her movies. I never got an answer, and it started to kill me at one point, because I wanted a rejection of some sorts, and she wouldn’t even bother doing that. It was like she didn’t even know I was writing to her, didn’t even know how repulsive I was, the bitch. It just made my plan more serious, and I became more determined, because she would have to see me eventually. She’d have to reject me at some point, there was no way to escape it. I’d die trying to get her to reject me.

As I started to get well known with my awful shows, and the several good jokes I had now and then, I started to get offered to do stand up on talk shows. I knew which one I wanted, and which date, and it took me so long to negotiate with the show, to get that slot, there was no other way for me to do it. I offered them so much, and they finally agreed when I said I’d let audience members throw nails at me, and a couple big time comedians agreed to be in the crowd during the show. Mocking me on cable was a great career move for them, everyone at home would eat it up, like Thanksgiving came twice that year, they were the pilgrims and I was the good folks who be treated inhumanely. Actually, people call acts inhumane, but if I learned anything, its that everything is a human thing to do, nothing is inhuman. Being a kind person is more inhuman than starting a genocide. Hell, giving away your stuff is considered a warning sign, you have to be willing to die to become generous, what a world we live in. We shouldn’t salute the flag, we should burn it. Hating your country is the most patriotic thing to do, because it shows how strongly you feel about the place.

When I get to the studio they don’t even let me into the room that they have for guests, they make me wait in the alley behind it, and I try to strike up a conversation with a bum, but he keeps telling me he has better things to do. Staring at a wall is better than listening me, at least its well put together, haha. The whole time I’m just feeling the revolver in my pocket, it felt so nice, so cold, so human, I was worried that it would hop right out of my pocket and tell me it slept with my mother. Guns are probably the most human invention, I think most people would want to be guns themselves. Gun rights are like civil rights, guns don’t kill people, they are people. They’re better at being people than some people are, haha. Boner pills and guns have something in common, because they help with impotence. If people can’t get themselves to kill, then they just have to do a gun and its all easy. Bang bang bang, suddenly you’re human again.

So, the best part about all of this is when I finally walk on to do the act, and then I find out that she’s not even the guest on the show. She had to reschedule due to something that I didn’t care to pay attention to, and instead there’s some muscle man there who gets paid because how much girls want to lay with him. When I walked by him, when we were in the same camera shot, I swear I must have made him look like a god. That was probably the high point of his career. And during his high point, I was at my lowest. I’m standing there telling my awful jokes, people throwing nails at me, and their insults are starting to cut through my apathy, my sense of humor. Maybe it was because I felt so terrible about not having the chance to be rejected by the woman I loved, maybe it was because I had that revolver being all heavy in the inside of my jacket, like a physical reminder of how pathetic I am. So pathetic I can’t even be pathetic. There’s that insult, where somebody is so __ that there’s a picture of them by that word in the dictionary, but I’m so awful that my name is in the dictionary, because I’m so terrible that they had to make a new word for it. I was so exceptionally pathetic that didn’t have the proper words to describe it.

Anyways, I felt so crushed in that moment, because I knew I was a failure. I’d always been a failure, but that was the only time I really knew it, felt it, understood it. Humor couldn’t protect me anymore. So, I decided to plug myself in the head, because I didn’t know this feeling and I hated it, but the gun ended up jamming, and I couldn’t even do that right.