#age gaps are fine but context matters

[lazykurocat]

came accross that one guy who wants Mithrun and Kabru to have met when Kabru was 7... and oh boy was that... an experience...

they called me ableist despite the fact I am disabled cause I said the shit they're going on about feels groomer-y and that a 7 year old shouldn't go off and date someone they knew when said person was an adult… like… no ew… I do not care if Mithrun was mentally all there or not that would be sick no matter how you look at it and it's wild this person seems to not get it. it would to me be as bad as if Kabru dated his elf mom because... like he met her when he was a child.

like if you live in the same house with someone for a year you're gonna probably fucking know they exist, and if Kabru was there as a kid and knew "hey this elf guy is in me house" FOR A YEAR, he should not then go and fuck him when he's an adult… like… no? like I've known lots of adults when I was 7, I do not want to fuck them, that would be weird because I was a child when I first met said adults! like… to me I would feel like that person is a nonce with the context that I was a child when we met and they weren't because there is a massive difference between two 7 year olds meeting and growing up and getting together… vs a 7 year old and an adult meeting and then the 7 year old growing up and them getting together… I am speaking as someone who was groomed at the age of 14... this is just not ok, adults are adults and kids are kids and need to be taught that this is not ok and that no you should not go and date someone you met who was an adult when you were a child regardless of if they remember you or not...

[lunamond]

The disproportionate hate show!Criston gets is so bizarre. No argument I’ve seen his haters make sofar has made any sense to me.

He is outside of Mysaria the only siginficant lowborn character we meet. He rises up from the son of a steward of a minor house to the position of King‘s Guard thanks to Rhaenyra, who then pressures him into having sex with her, sth that could get him executed. Afterwards she not just rejects his proposal, but laughs in his face.

And when as a result of this experience Criston is shown to be emotional distraught and bitter, people call him an incel? (I assume that they refer to his ideology and not his actual status as a celibate, because not being celibate is literally what started this mess)

It really rubs me the wrong way, when people remove all context from this situation. A lower class person getting a well-off position from a person with authority, who they then end up having sex with is ALWAYS a relationship with a power imbalance (Obviously there are irl relationships like this, who work out and manage to be relatively healthy, but that doesn‘t remove the imbalance of power and the increased likelyhood of abuse).

We see Criston‘s reluctance when Rhaenyra makes her move. It does not matter if Criston was attracted to her or not. The simple fact that he is in a vunerable position makes him denying her a risk. It also does not matter that Rhaenyra had no malicious intentions, the simple fact that she ignores Criston‘s refusal and continues pressuring make this whole scene super uncomfortable. Her ignorance and naivety does not erase the impact of her actions.

Criston growing to hate her afterwards is perfectly justified.

As a man who grew up in Westerosi society, he inevitably holds misogynist beliefs, which is reflected in the insults he uses after this. But compared to the acts of every single character on this show, singling out his character is pretty ludicrous, when we have plenty of male (and female) characters who have done worse:

Like commiting SA (Viserys, Aegon), grooming young girls (Viserys again! I really hate this man, Daemon, Otto, Corlys and Rhaenys because telling your daughter she has to sleep with a grown man when she is 14 is pretty much the same thing Otto does to Alicent) and the only major crime Criston is guilty of sofar: murder (Daemon killed his wife and the servant in Driftmark, also he did large scale police violence which people love to forget about, Rhaenys killed potentially hundreds of smallfolk at the coronation)

Obviously, anybody is allowed to dislike whatever character they want, but a lot of people flatten Criston into just a misogynistic bitter incel who is just mad that Rhaenyra has sex, ignoring every bit of context we get for his behaviour.

This becomes escpecially weird, when those same people have no problem stanning Daemon, who calls his 1st wife a „bitch“, „uglier than sheep“ and then murders her, because he sees her as inferior as a none-valyrian. But Criston calling Rhaenyra, a person he feels personally wronged by, a „spoiled cunt“ is apparently a too far.

It is just really frustating when the character with the canonically lowest social standing gets afforded the least amount of nuance by the fandom (the writers are obvs not excempt from this criticism either).

[sydchan]

I don’t think you all realize how many times I’ve had to hold myself back from going on a long rant about the age gap N and Hilbert allegedly have according to Bulbapedia (just so you all know, I stand on the freak side of things, I genuinely would still ship them if the Pokemon company swore they were 14 and 20). It’s just narratively this is nonsense and does not fit and Word Of God means nothing when compared to source material so 16 and 18 makes way more sense. But again…not worth rambling about. One thing I will say is while I can kind of buy N as 20 (21 would make more sense as the next age milestone after 18 he might have been coronated at, but I guess 20 is from when you’re an adult in Japan?) it’s honestly Hilbert as 14 that grinds my gears more. Like why does Bulbapedia say he’s 14 and then within the trivia section of that very page, mention that interviews say he and Hilda were designed as 16. Like at least list 14-16 as the age range??? Like bruh, why is it not a range????? 16 is clearly one of the correct interpretation of his age. Constantly perplexed by this.

The damage Bulbapedia has done cause fools won’t play the source material and come to their own conclusions….

Like I guess if one wishes to assume Hilbert is younger than the game implies and N is older than the game implies have at it. You do you. But it’s such a bizarre shift to see in how the ship is viewed.

[delphi-shield]

OLD FOLKS HOME ↪ age gap hcs

the people you love & the shit they do that reminds you of the dreaded Gap (tm). characters included: leon kennedy, chris redfield, jill valentine, claire redfield, rebecca chambers no warnings to speak of. remember kids, if you're gonna date people in their 30s and 40s, you're gonna have different cultural contexts and, most likely, different senses of humor.

Leon is eight levels of irony deep. He started doing Old Guy Shit just to mess with you, and now it's all come full circle. 

It turns out he actually likes watching the weather channel. He’s monitoring storms that are miles and miles away from you, pointing out the feeder bands like it’s some kind of sporting event. 

He's genuinely invested in Ice Road Truckers. He asks you to TiVo it for him when he's gone. You do not have TiVo. In fact, you're pretty sure no one still has TiVo. 

Or you were, until Leon once again committed to the bit and got TiVo.

Really, genuinely annoying about old movies, actors, and directors.

”What do you mean you don’t know who Robert Redford is? The Candidate? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? C’mon. He was even in an episode of The Twilight Zone. You’ll know him when you see him.”

At least you get movie dates out of it.

Movie dates that he will pepper with trivia about the film, by the way. You don't need the commentary track. He is the commentary.

I'm so, so sorry about this. 🤪 is his favorite emoji. I know. I'm sorry.

Chris cannot fucking hear. To be honest, I think most of them have some degree of hearing loss - but Chris in particular seems to have very subjective hearing loss.

Yes, you were just having a full-fledged conversation. No, he didn’t hear you ask him to take out the trash. He didn’t forget, he just didn’t hear you. Sorry, you were standing on his right - come on, you know that’s his bad side.

Explains basic technology to you because he’s not sure if you know what it is. Then, in the same breath, crams in so many military acronyms he may as well be reciting the alphabet. Does not explain the acronyms.

Like, yeah, Chris. I know what a landline is. Dial-up internet, too. Now, what the fuck is an ORE?

Have you ever gotten ‘ok’ in response to a nude? You’re about to. Completely demoralizing, by the way.

He didn't know you wanted him to compose a poem dedicated to your beauty, okay? He tries to get better, but winds up sending shit like 'wow 👍'

Does the dad thing where he insists he's not interested in watching what's on TV and then stands with his hands on his hips in the middle of the living room, enthralled by the show.

Jill does not understand your music. She will not make an attempt to understand your music. If you see her tapping her foot to the beat, no you do not. She is not interested in expanding her musical horizons.

She only bought you tickets to that concert because she knew you would love it. She only went with you because you’re cute when you’re so into this stuff. She only bought that t-shirt because it would be a good souvenir, and eventually, a good grease rag.

Generalized distrust of social media. Do not show her a tiktok. She will ignore the video and lecture you about data safety. Jill, please. Just watch the fucking cat video.

And then she turns around and opts in to literally everything on the McDonald's app.

If there’s a rewards program, she’s in. Already sold. Didn’t even read the fine print. All that shit she was telling you about how you need to be more careful is right out the window for some free fries.

Anything for the thrill of a good deal. If she had more time on her hands, she would be couponing.

Buys in bulk. No, it doesn't matter if the two of you could not physically eat that much rice. It's cheaper to buy it like this. It's fine. It's good for you.

Gotta stock up on non-perishables, too. You gotta be prepared in case something happens. "Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."

Claire cannot stop shopping from QVC. She's in the kitchen with David. It Takes Two with Mary and Sandra? Wrong. It actually takes three. Mary, Sandra, and Claire.

Infomercials have got her by the throat. You have so many gadgets and gizmos around your home that are just collecting dust.

Gets wine drunk and goes online shopping. Legitimately does not remember what she’s bought.

Absolutely will not let you open the packages. (“Some of this stuff could be for you, you know.” “Claire, last time it was a 10,000 count package of googly eyes.” “And I used all 10,000. You still haven’t found them all.”)

Uses every piece of technology until it’s about to fall apart. Absolutely not interested in having the latest and greatest. She’s one of those people who insists that as long as her phone can make calls and send texts, she doesn’t need a new one.

Speaking of texts. Somehow, she got it into her head that a read receipt is equivalent to a reply. She doesn't get what the problem is. You know she saw your text. Why does she have to reply?

Genuinely doesn't mean anything malicious by it - but also, if you did that to her, you would never hear the end of it.

Rebecca legitimately has facebook humor. They all have some degree of facebook humor, but she's got it the worst. 

Will blow up your notifications tagging you in shit that is just straight up not funny. I’m talking full on tagging you with “😂😂😂”

Unironically sent you a minion meme once.

It's not that she's disconnected. She teaches undergrads. She knows what’s in, even if it’s only from the periphery. It’s just that she doesn’t care. She has no interest in keeping up with trends just for the sake of it. She’s so used to being the youngest person in the room and having to keep up expectations that she just absolutely does not care anymore. She's glad she's not one of the kids anymore.

If it made her laugh it made her laugh, her enjoyment isn’t shackled by feelings of shame!!

If you have a group chat on any platform with your friends please invite her. She's just happy to be included. She'll make a discord if she has to, and she'll brag about it to her students.

Yeah, she says pupper and doggo. She does. Look at her.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for trying to kiss my crush again? we’re all minors btw

ok context. i ~13M really like this girl 14F (in love with might be a bit strong but seriously she’s so cool).

we’ve kissed before, but overall our relationship is just really confusing and complicated and i think she likes me back? but i don’t really know for sure?

we’ve known each other for about a year now, but we know each other well. she and her brother 16M have been helping me out ever since i ran away from home (yes, i know i’m young to be doing that but there’s a lot of pent up guilt there that i do not want to get into), and i’ve been living with them ever since

i know a year isn’t a long time but i feel like she and our other friends are the closest thing i’ll ever get to having a family again yk?

but i guess i’ve been really stressed recently, and we went to see a really shitty play together that was just awful, and it feels like she sees me as this immature little kid and not boyfriend material. which is fine!! like i don’t want to force myself on her i’m just stressed and anxious i guess

and we were talking about our relationship and i leaned in to kiss her and i guess it was the wrong moment.

she was a bit mad and left, and i feel terrible.

i feel like i shouldn’t have been try to force a conversation about this because she’s really stressed and confused too, and it was definitely a bad move to try and kiss her.

like, there’s a literal war going on, what was i thinking trying to talk about feelings?

also, in case some people are worried about the age gap: it won’t really matter in like ten years anyways, and technically i’m older than her (was frozen in ice 100 years ago, which might be worse but the point is i love her. that wasn’t my point. you know what my point is.)

What are these acronyms?

[bambisspeckles]

Disasterology {BD!Simon}

Chapter One: Cry, Cry

*pics for aesthetic purposes only!

CW: no simon this part (kinda) (sorry), fem!reader, mentions of p in v sex and oral sex but no actual sex scenes, mentions of blood, urine, and needles but all in medical context, mentions of terminating pregnancies (no actual termination happens), angst, simon got commit issues rn lowk, age gap but it's unspecified so you make it up, reader has anxiety (projecting), probable inaccurate representation of OGBYS/gynos, mildly edited! lmk if i missed something <3

WC: 1.9k (i genuinely didn't mean to make it this long!!)

Summary: You and Simon have a complicated relationship, he's not your boyfriend and he's definitely not just your friend, but what happens when he ends up being the father to your child?

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You like Simon, honestly you do, and you're sure he likes you too. I mean he must to some degree if he's kept you around this long. You're just not sure he wants you. He dances around any conversation pertaining to making thing serious with you, committing to you. It's honestly confusing, he acts like a boyfriend, you go out on dates, he runs errands with you, and he stays over at your place more often than he stays at his. It all feels serious, it all feels like fidelity, but no matter how much you try to bring it up he brushes past the conversation. He'll shut you up with a kiss before dropping to his knees and throwing your legs over his shoulders.

It'd piss you off more if he didn't make you feel so good.

Eventually you stopped bringing it up all together, even though you wanted more with him, to be with him seriously, you were content to continue your arrangement in order to keep him in your life. You told yourself things were fine, and they were, you were with him and he was with you, and as long as you ignored the tugging at your heart then they would continue to be fine.

Unfortunately, for you, things can never be that simple.

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It started when you missed your period.

You didn't think much of it at first, you've missed your period before and both you and Simon have always been very careful to use protection when you had sex, so you didn't really think there was anything to worry about. You just figured your period was a little late this month, not a big deal, it happens.

That was until a few more weeks went by and you were still missing that awful pain in your gut. You kept telling yourself to wait it out a few more days and it'll come but it never did. Eventually you turned to google, looking on different forums and sketchy women's health blogs for answers and advice. Of course, most of the results just told you that you were probably pregnant but you avoided those answers, you and Simon use condoms, you were careful, there is no way you could be having a baby.

You decided that your period had just skipped for the month and it would come back next month. Everything was going to be fine. Days and days went by but nothing you've googled or told yourself was easing your anxieties. Simon noticed the change in your behavior and, in his own strange way, asked if everything was alright. You brushed him off, telling him it was stress from work. Honestly the last thing you needed was to freak him out by telling him you might be pregnant with his baby.

What a fucking mess that would be.

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You're worried. With each passing day you're becoming more and more convinced there's a baby inside you. Every morning you wake up feeling violently ill, you're bloated, weepy, and seemingly every food item on the planet makes you nauseous. All early signs of pregnancy.

Fuck you can't be pregnant, god you hope you're not.

You consider going to some random drug store to pick up some pregnancy tests but you don't think you could stomach doing that on your own, no pun intended, and you definitely don't want to involve Simon yet, especially if you're not pregnant. No point in stressing him out over nothing. What you hope is nothing.

You resolve to make an appointment and get tested through an OBGYN instead of taking an at home test yourself. Their tests are more accurate so you won't have to go through the trouble of possibly dealing with false positives… or false negatives. Your voice shakes throughout the entire phone call, it's not a long call but somehow it feels like the longest conversation you've had in your life. When the call ends and the line goes quiet you find yourself saying a prayer for the first time.

God, please don't let me be pregnant.

When the day of your appointment arrives you're extremely nervous and fidgety, your stomach is churning so much it's making your head spin, and you're worried if your heart beats any faster you'll end up having a heart attack. The whole clinical feel of the waiting room doesn't ease your anxieties any less either. The women at the front desk hands you a clipboard after you check-in and explains that you need to fill some papers out before you see the doctor. It doesn't take long to fill the papers out, just some general health questions and the reasoning behind your visit, though you're sure the doctor will ask the same questions again.

Soon enough, you name is called out by a nurse and you walk towards her with shaky legs. She leads you through a small hallway, making quiet conversation with you all the way to the examination room, though you're not entirely sure if you ever even answered her, you're thoughts to fogged up to conversate. She seems to understand.

"Here we are," She says as the both of you slow in front of a sky blue door. "The doctor will be with you shortly, for now just take a seat on the exam table and try to get comfortable." She gives you a small smile as she pushes open the door.

You thank her, your voice coming out soft, almost meek and she gives a gentle squeeze on your arm as you walk through the door before closing it behind you. You place your things down on a rather uncomfortable looking chair before settling down on the exam table, the paper covering crumpling underneath your thighs. Some time passes, though you're not sure how much, before you hear a knock at the door that jolts you out of your dazed state.

"Hello! may I come in?" The woman's voice comes out muffled behind the door.

"Y-yes," You take a small breath. "Yes, you can come in."

The door opens and a middle aged women walks through, she gives you a kind smile as she settles into the chair in front of a little desk. She goes to turn on the computer and types a few things in before turning back to you.

"I'm Doctor Green, I'll be conducting your exam today. I need to ask you a couple questions before we begin, is that alright?" You nod at her in an impassive away and she pulls a clipboard off her desk.

As you guessed, she asks you the same questions you answered in the waiting room only this time she asks for more details. After an uncomfortable Q&A session she finally begins to explain the actual procedures that are going to be preformed. They all seem pretty straight forward, she'll start with a physical exam that, of course will come with more questions, then a urine sample and blood sample will be taken from you to actually see if you're pregnant.

The physical exam is about what you expected, though she's a bit more thorough in examining certain areas. After that part is over, the urine sample is next. She provides you two cups, one cup is filled with water and the other is a cup you are quite literally supposed to pee in. Doctor Green instructs you to drink the cup of water, wait about fifteen minutes, then take the sample cup to the bathroom to pee in. You cringe a bit at the last part and you see a small smile tug at her lips. You drink the water and she shows you where the bathroom is before leading you back to the exam room once more.

"I'll be back in twenty minutes for your blood sample alright?" You nod at her and she nods back before exiting the room.

Just as Doctor Green predicted, fifteen minutes after drinking the cup of water you had too pee. You grabbed the sample cup and walked towards the bathroom with quivering legs to take care of your business. Once you finished you took the cup back into the exam room and placed it onto a mat.

Doctor Green comes back into the exam room a few minutes later to take your urine sample to the lab for testing before finally collecting your blood sample. It was as unpleasant as you had thought, a strange feeling in your veins as she fills the little syringe with your blood. After she finishes, Doctor Green cleans and patches the needled area up when suddenly her computer chimes.

"Perfect timing, your results must be ready!" Her words quickly have you sputtering as your eyes blow wide.

"My… results? Doesn't that take some time? I thought it would take longer…" You wish it would take longer, you're not ready to hear them yet.

She moves over to the desk to open up your lab results, humming in acknowledgment at your words.

"The blood test is the one that takes time," She explains. "The results of that can take either a few hours or a few days depending on how busy the lab is. The urine results don't take more than a couple minutes though. That's why people use at home tests a lot."

She turns to you, a small smile on her face.

"Are you ready to hear your results?" No, you think.

But, "Yes." Is what you say.

"Congratulations, You're having a baby!"

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You don't remember the rest of the appointment, or the drive home honestly. You weren't really thinking, you didn't know what to think, what to do. When you arrive back to your apartment the only thing you can bring yourself to do is flop onto the couch and throw your head in your hands. What was the logical next step? You can't hide the pregnancy forever, in fact it's probably better to tell Simon sooner rather than later, and you don't think you could bring yourself to terminate the pregnancy either.

Everything feels so fucking hopeless.

You don't know what to do or what you want, you don't know how Simon will react, what he'll want. It's scary, so fucking scary. You can't even get this man to talk about what's going on between the two of you so how are you supposed to tell him you're having his baby? What will he do? What if he runs? He could do that easily given his military connections. He could run from you and leave you to deal with this alone, he could tell you he wants nothing to do with you or this baby and that it's your issue to deal with, alone.

You'd hope he wouldn't do that. You like to think he'd be kinder.

But you don't know, and that's the scariest part about everything. You don't even know if Simon is your boyfriend, how are you supposed to figure out what to do now that you're pregnant? Tears begin to slip down the supple skin of your cheeks as you cry, grabbing onto a pillow and pulling it tight to your chest as you sob so hard it's almost painful.

You're scared, so fucking scared, and the one person who makes everything less scary is the one you're afraid of most right now.

You sob, for hours upon hours until the tears stop falling and your red, puffy eyes fall shut after all the emotional exertion. Even in your sleep that anxious knot in your chest doesn't loosen, if anything it feels like it grows tighter and your subconscious mind thrusts all your biggest worries to the forefront of your mind.

God, what are you going to do?

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AAHHH! dad!simon my beloved… I'm honestly really excited idk where this came from because I was trying to figure out what to write for neighbor!simon but then the thoughts came and now this is not neighbor!simon but an entirely different beast… I hope you guys enjoyed this I will do my best to maintain this and create a little series out of it :3 I know you can hardly call this a chapter but putting part 1 feels like i'm making a tiktok story time LMAOO!! think of em' as short chapters :p Likes and reblogs are appreciated asssss always and ilysm thanks for all the support mwah!! <3

(and yes the series title and all the chapter titles are songs!)

[esther-dot]

jonsa is so overhated, it’s totally fine if people don’t like the ship or whatever like that’s up to them but trying to put jonsa on the same level as s*nsan and s*nrion is really gross

Yeah, I agree that if the hatred of Jonsa is presented as a moral stance, it's hypocritical to ship Sansa with adults, especially those two as one threatened her life repeatedly and intended to rape her, the other married her while she was being held hostage by his family and had no choice but to marry one of them.

I understand that fans say "well, the Hound didn't rape her" and "Well, Tyrion didn't force her to consummate the wedding” as signs of their virtue, and I do think that Martin's interest in characters who are decried as monsters ultimately being unable to hurt Sansa is pretty great, but it's a misreading to think the idea is "actually, these guys are good!" instead of, there is power in Sansa's goodness.

A lot of those shippers will say that the hope is for it to happen post-canon, thereby sidesepping the icky "age gap" (as they like to call it), but that doesn't change the fact that these men lusted after her as a child and used her powerless situation to mistreat her—threats of violence or plotting to take her home. Remove Jonsa from the scenario, why would you wish Sansa to be stuck with either of them? How could that possibly be a good thing for her? It's all stomach turning, especially the fandom’s enjoyment of the (sometimes NSFW) fanart in which she is her canon age. I highly recommend filtering the tags.

In a historical context, cousin marriage is just not a big deal, no matter how much people clutch their pearls and pretend it’s on par with Sansa getting stuck with either of those men. If we go by Martin’s original thoughts on a fauxcest romance between Jon and a Stark girl, the conflict of the romance won’t be that one is the victim and the other the victimizer, but rather, that they both want each other and can’t act due to their own values until parentage reveal. I genuinely don’t think an unbiased person would say that’s worse than Sansa getting stuck with one of the men who abused or took advantage of her. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[youremyheaven]

need some big sister advice because ive just gotten heartbroken 🫠🫠

i wouldn’t say i got played, because that’s not really the case, but i definitely did get hurt lol 🤣 the guy is two years older than me. sweet, charming, genuinely a gentleman. we were never really talking but there was always a weird tension between us, and sometimes he would do things that were not exactly friend things.

he’s older, and we’re at that age where the two years gap is fine but also has that “older guy” energy. he recently got a girlfriend. she’s so gorgeous, i won’t lie. genuinely has the nicest smile ever, and she’s everything i’m not? or i guess her background is a lot more similar to his than mine. they both come from really wealthy families— they’re both well traveled, well cultured, everything.

my grandparents are wealthy, maybe comparable to his family and hers. my parents are average to higher middle. never mind the context.

there were genuinely so many weird coincidences between us, from line-ups in our past, to other things like same birthmarks or conditions. maybe all this doesn’t matter though, does it? i think all this just contributed to me thinking there was something more between us.

idk i’m just hurt because there were so many things he did that were so sweet, and so nice, and he never really cared about other girls that way. it was all genuine too, and definitely more than friends things. right now im wondering if maybe he just saw me as someone to take care of? someone younger, more naive, and maybe he never actually liked me that way— but then there are other things that he did that were so not friends 😭😭 and even his friends and mine would sometimes ask if we had something going on

sometimes i wonder if the entire friend group was just in on this big joke or maybe im just looking at him with puppy eyes, even though im not that kind. ive been so adamantly against relationships, and this was the first time i actually wanted someone. ive always been so focused on school, internships, taking care of everyone, and then for once i wanted something for myself, and this happened.

im so academic, and i like taking care of people and doing things like knitting/crocheting/embroidery/cooking and all that stay at home things. you get the gist, im basically a homebody and introvert and i just like my own space and peace 😕😕 this girl parties, is always at the beach (me too but we are so different even in this manner because she’s the kind that takes pictures, dresses so well and i admire her so so much for it, while i go and pick up seashells and stare out at the beach 🤣🤣) and she’s just sooo extroverted, the life of the party with everyone, and so charming. and he’s quieter i guess, conventionally attractive, from a good household, a gentleman, stuff like that.

i never thougjt i would be the kind to compare myself to others but this is the first time ive ever felt this way and i just 😞😞

he’s really the nicest, and his girlfriend seems so sweet too, it was just sudden.

any advice? if youve ever been in this situation <33 i know its not really astro/fashion related but i don’t think i can even talk about this to my friends or anyone :c

babygirl 🥺

i understand what you're going through<3 this has to be one of the most difficult experiences in the romance arena tbh,, a guy who is extremely nice to you, gets your expectations up and then ends up dating someone who is the complete opposite of you 😭😭its a terrible feeling and its only natural that youd compare yourself to her,,

the best thing for you to do rn is to distance yourself from them. dont look at their socials, dont meet them often and get as far as u can from them.

its okay to wallow in it and it will take you some time to move on.

its impossible to understand where he was coming from or what his intentions with you were. you dont have to feel like you're silly for having believed that there was something between the two of you. he gave you "special" treatment and thats reason enough. whether or not he had romantic intentions is a different matter.

but the important fact rn is that he indeed has a girlfriend, which means its in ur best interest to avoid him and not contact him during this period so that you dont feel worse than you already do.

did he have feelings for you? was he just a reallyyyyy nice guy with no romantic intentions? was he just toying with you? these are questions that we can't really find answers to rn and no answer will ever really be satisfying enough.

immerse yourself in your hobbies, studies/work and keep yourself engaged. focus on yourself.

obviously an experience like this can take a toll on your self-esteem but these are experiences that will help us grow thick skin. our self worth should never depend on how others treat us. sounds easier said than done but you must always always always remember that how someone treats you is a reflection of their character more than it is of yours.

this can go both ways. if someone is extremely nice/kind/generous with you, it helps to maintain humility when you think its the goodness of their heart that makes them act like that, not you being "special" enough to receive it.

but if someone is mean/nasty/rude etc, thats also because of their character and the poison they carry in their heart. and has nothing to do with you as a person.

its important to build a firm core so that you're not swayed by generosity or broken by malice. you have to be self-content enough to see all things, both good and bad, as temporary. this does not mean you dont appreciate the good stuff or feel bad about poor treatment, you're human and you'll always have feelings but life is long, and you'll meet all kinds of people in life who will say and do all kinds of things, you shouldnt tie your self esteem to it, thats all.

think of these experiences as your immunization process, you're becoming more resilient and strong.

with men, unless and until, they explicitly say they want to take you out or date you or want you to be their gf, its 🚩🚩 and sometimes they even say all this AND play you 😭😭

i hope you have more peaceful days ahead of you and can forget this guy and focus on yourself<3

there are better men waiting for you who will give you the world and never make you second guess anything!! dont be too disheartened, pretend this is ep 4 of a romantic drama, things always get better by ep 16 😉💛💛

[ch1l1cheesefr1es]

Jealousy, plain ol' Jealousy

Merle Dixon x Trans masculine reader

Context: you and Merle reunite, the governor assigns the two of you on a mission to find Michonne. First try you couldn't find her, so Merle told the governor, he came back seeming a bit off and you both go looking for her again, he tells you whats wrong and you put matters in your hands ;)

Warnings: +18, nudity, hard sex,age gap, flirting, violence, slurs (f!ggot, Tranny, etc. This is my first time making a book like this so I hope I don't offend anyone, i might make a part 2 of this)

Merle and you have been frenemies since the two of you were kids, but had been sepearated later after Merle's mother had died. Later on, Merle found you, andrea and Michonne. He took the three of you to a place called Woodbury, a large and well-protected community. You didn't trust it, but it was nice to see a familiar face even though you both HATED eachother back then, nowadays he calls you "Fruitcake" and it pisses you off "you're not funny, you know that big boy?" you said in a firm tone, Merle backed away with his signature smirk "OooOoo did I hit a nerve Fruitcake?" he said in playful tone, and his accent, oh how you hated it, everytime you heard it you just wanted to punch him in the face you were about to but the governor had called the two of you "Boys! Come 'ere!" he yelled, you and Merle looked at eachother and walked to his place, he told you that Michonne had left the camp, he assigned the two you to go look for her with the others, the entire time you and Merle picked on eachother. Even after being attacked by Michonne you couldn't help but laugh after Merle got punched in the nuts, even though you had been punched aswell. She escaped and Merle killed some kid...whatever his name was.

. . .

After Merle had killed the kid, I looked at him. He hasn't changed, we both walked beside eachother and I barely said anything on the way back, Merle's the first to break the silence "I'm gonna go tell the governor 'bout this, and if you tell 'em that I killed that kid, I'll slit your throat." he told me in a firm tone as his finger pressed against my chest, I didn't flinch. Almost everyone was afraid "Big bad ol' Merle" but not me. I just saw him as an old friend, not a monster. He walked away and i sat down in a bench, a minute turned into 10 minutes, and 10 minutes turned into hours, it had been midnight already and no one was outside. Until finally, Merle came back, I looked up at him waited for him to tell me about the mission, but he seemed...off. He looked like he was spacing out and had no emotion in his face "Uh....Merle?" I asked, he had snapped back into reality "W-what Fruitcake?" he asked, he was back to his old self again "what'd the boss say?" I look up at him, he looked at me with his blue eyes and said "The Governor wants us to look for her again." he then walked to the entrance of Woodbury "R....right now?" I asked as he walked away "YES!" he yelled, I got up and followed him "he wants us to go far out" He had told me "to go look for her? didn't you say the walkers'll get to her before we do?" I asked with a smirk, Merle then slapped me hard in the face "Shut the fuck up you fucking f!ggot." he said, I wanted to punch him so badly but I couldnt...I stayed quiet as me and him got in a car, he seemed stressed while he was driving, so I gathered up some courage and asked "what's up with you?" he looked at me and sighed "you really think im gonna tell you about my life problems Girlie?" he told me, that moment, I had snapped.

"You know what? Fuck you Merle. It's not my fault you had a sad childhood, and that your dad was a dickhead, I never did shit to you and you always treat me like this! I am not a girl! I'm a boy. And if you can't get that through that thick skull of yours i'll shoot a bullet into it." you told him, Merle looked at you with shock, he had never seen you this mad, or even snap at him. He sighed "Alright, fine. I ain't feelin' myself today... My joints are hurting like a bitch from yesterday's brawl and I haven't had no sleep worth speakin' of, and the governor had sex with that blondie. But we gotta find that son-of-a-bitch before it hits mornin', so suck it up and help me out." he told you, you were shocked at how easy it was to get him to talk "is that it? That you were just jealous because someone else had sex with Andrea?" you asked with a little laugh, he scoffed "It ain't got nuthin' to do with her... I just can't stand the way he goes around, thinkin' he can take whatever he wants." he mumbled, you knew what Merle had gone through, Especially Daryl. And all you wanted to do, was to make all the stress go away. You then had an idea, it was risky but you couldn't help it, you slowly slid your hand to Merle's thigh, he was in deep thought and didn't think anything of it at first, so you took things a bit more further. You then slid your hand under his pants, he had snapped back into reality and looked at you "what the fuck do ya think you're doing D/N!?" he had called you by your deadname, which made you grip his member on accident, he groaned and almost crashed, he let out a groan as he tried to keep himself focused on the road. You couldn't help but grin at this, you started to stroke him at a slow pace, his grip on the steering wheel tightened and his breathing got heavy "I swear to god D/N don't do something you'll later regret..." you frowned and corrected him "My name isn't D/N, It's Y/N." you stroked him faster he bit his bottom lip, you Remembered him doing that when you had seen him talking with Andrea, you felt him thrust his hips up, begging for more. You couldn't help but rub your thumb against the slit of his dick, Merle bit his lip so hard that blood started dripping from his lip. He then snapped "ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKER YOU ASKED FOR IT." he parked the car somewhere safe and pushed you to the back seat "what about the mission Merle?" you asked him "Fuck the mission, we'll just tell the governor we couldn't find her, won't we boy?" he said, your eyes widened when he called you boy, even Merle noticed and smirked, you nodded as he climbed to the backseat with you, you couldn't help but blush as he was above you. He laughed and held your cheek, slowly leaning in and finally pressing his lips against yours, he started gentle but deepened the kiss as you wrapped his arms around him, feeling his tongue trying to slide its way between your teeth, asking for more. You couldn't help but give in to his desires, his tongue dancing with yours, he tasted so weird but you weren't complaining. He pulled away, a string of saliva coming from your mouths, he then grabbed your shirt and pulled it off, seeing the scars under your pecs "well ain't that a sight." he traced the scars with his fingers, you felt happy for some reason, it wasn't because you were feeling horny, but because Merle finally accepted you being Trans. He kissed the scars under your pecs, going all the way down to your waist, he pulled down your pants and saw how wet you were for him "still got a pussy Fruitcake?" he said in a playful tone, you frowned and told him "Fuck you Merle..." you mumbled, you then gasped when you felt him trace your folds, he held your hips and laughed "you're a virgin aren't ya? Go on Fruitcake...dont be shy, are ya?" he asked, you couldn't help but nod "well don't worry boy, just leave it to good ol' Merle and I'll just fix that." he flipped and placed you on all fours and held your inner thighs. You looked back hesitantly "Merle?...what are you doi-" just then, you had felt his tongue licking in between your folds, tasting you.

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 17

so it's definitely gonna be something big and flashy. i just still hope that it doesn't have any impact on who actually wins.

see, the funny thing is that i genuinely don't think Derek has actually done anything wrong...? like, afaik, he wasn't trying to dismiss Trevor or belittle his feelings, he just... had a crush on Kristal and acted like it. am i misremembering something? or is Trevor just being really petty for no reason? (this isn't Trevor hate; i actually find it quite impressive that i still root for Trevor despite him like objectively being in the wrong. that's just the silly billy rizz i suppose.)

"i started thinking that because of you! but, if your character ends you in a place where you do realize that what people think matters, maybe i'll believe that too, because i care what you think."

this was a nice save from Connor.

so the Sharma family has one daughter who's 31, and one daughter who's <18? that's a pretty big age gap (minimum 14 years), though obviously not an impossible one. i wonder if things just shook out that way, or if they aren't (fully) biologically related?

what did she have against Hunter? hilarious if she only wants her bi daughter to date a women. or maybe she was just a big tessally shipper.

oh this is really sad actually. wild that his parents haven't talked to him in two years, but were willing to send him a letter for the show???

WHO THE FUCK IS EXCITED TO SEE YUL?????

Grett is so cool.

🎶Me encanta el poder y no perder--

REAL ("Connor, you can't be this stupid" echoes in the background)

BRO WHAT--

MY FIRST INSTINCT WAS THAT SHE WAS GOING TO SNAP HIS NECK

WHAT THE FUCK. okay so even a day later i am still reeling from this obviously but i do want to say that it's hilarious that Riya can get directly drop kicked by a horse so hard that it flings her like 60 ft up into the air and be completely fine, but Connor falls off of a horse and nearly gets permanently paralyzed. sucks to be an OLD MAN ig 🔥🔥🔥 (/j)

also i can't believe the break Connor's legs challenge was foreshadowing oh my god--

and that was when Riya knew

she fucked up

this sequence is so melodramatic it's honestly kind of hilarious. also Jake is ready to throttle a bitch.

this was a really nice acting moment, even if the context surrounding it wasn't the best. although, even then, was this move even a bad writing decision? i kind of want to say it was, just because of how out of nowhere it was, but i don't think it was actually a bad choice. like, yes, i too am disappointed that they "gave Riya plot armor" in not having her eliminated this episode, because i don't really think we need to spend more time unpacking her deal.

however, if they're going to keep Riya around for another episode (or even until the finale), i think that giving her another concrete thing to be a part of is a good idea. it'll certainly keep her character memorable for several seasons to come. and, i like how this parallels her tossing Aiden off that cliff in the s2 finale! in that situation, she had just become a villain, and purposefully endangered Aiden with no remorse. this time, she's been a villain for the entire season, but is now forced into the position of hurting Connor on accident and being full of remorse for it. being a villain is exactly what people expect for her, and Riya is nothing if not what people expect. it's a real moment of facing exactly what you've become.

to be honest, even a day after watching the episode, i'm still reeling so hard from what happened that i find it difficult to parse out exactly how i feel about this episode. i may wind up changing my mind, and, who knows, i might even change my mind again after that. all i know is that. we wildin. All Stars is such a season.

given how this game works, i'd honestly be more worried about her sudden athletic prowess. but, a threat's a threat either way.

why did they have him say this directly before Tribal if he cast his vote on Grett? i guess it's foreshadowing for Ally being threatening later?

i mean, i'm not too surprised. if it wasn't going to be Riya, it makes sense that they would eliminate Grett as the biggest threat. plus, Grett was being too obviously awesome. put her on the "best to never win" list.

o7 slay queen

i expect nothing less... than a Jake/Ally/Connor finale, lmao.

what an episode! i'm really glad i wasn't at all spoiled on this one, 'cause i think it was important to go in truly blind to the what-the-fuck-iness of this plot. unfortunately, with Riya still in the game (for now), i do feel like next episode's boot is going to be pretty predictable, but... i've been saying that Riya's elimination is really obvious for the past two episodes now, so, maybe i'll be wrong again!!!

[stansaaa]

another ship rant into the void but people on tiktok are so annoying about daryl & beth shippers. like if it’s not your thing, that’s totally fine but again, i feel like it’s never deep enough to be like “y’all are weirdos for thinking there was anything romantic between them” when i’m like 90% sure that they canonically both had more-than-platonic feelings for each other, they just weren’t given enough time to process what they actually meant. i have a feeling that if the writers decided not to kill her off (like they should’ve), they would’ve at least tried to explore their relationship in that way. like mind you, this is the same show with rosita & abraham, and their age gap is practically a decade more than daryl & beth’s. and i get it, rosita’s brain was probably fully developed when she met abraham lol, and beth was 16 when daryl met her and 18/19 after the prison, but i feel like the context of the end of the world really matters here. there are no real power dynamics anymore, they’ve all been through every circle of hell so i kinda just feel like age differences matter less in that world? obviously i’m not advocating for 18/19 year old girls to get with much older men irl, been there done that and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be believe me, but this is fiction and i do believe in separating the two for the most part. the actress who plays beth was also much older when she did those scenes with daryl, so it doesn’t feel so weird to me to read romantic chemistry there. anyway, no i don’t have a love life of my own currently and yes, i have too much time on my hands so i think i should probably just take my own advice and realize that it is indeed not that deep on either side <3

[glacialswordsman]

SHIPPING INFO. Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

chaeya has always been my #1 since i first got exposed to it, but honestly... zhongkae, dainkae, and albekae/kaebedo are QUICKLY making it a four-way-tie fr :') i'm kinda obsessed with those "doomed by the narrative" ships yfm?

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

pretty much anything? as long as there's nothing involving the usual icks. yknow. all the -icsts and -cests as well as SA and shit are a no-go for me! as for themes, i'm 100% okay with dark themes since. yknow. yaya can be a Pretty dark character. just no unplanned character deaths.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

hard line, no minors. absolutely not. as for kaeya, he's a fully functioning adult (mid to late 20s) that can make his own decisions. since there are people (and beings in general) in teyvat that are virtually immortal and well over 100+ years old, he's not adverse to them at all. now, in a modern world/setting/verse, the same still applies with minors but he wouldn't go for anyone in theirs 50s+... romantically. 30s-40s are still free game to him though :')

Are you selective when shipping?

not... really? what matters most to me is if 1) our characters have chemistry, and 2) i vibe with the mun OOCly. i don't want to ship just to ship, but i'm also not terribly picky when it comes to it. i'm fine with cross-overs, fine with multi-verses, OCs, etcetc. however, what i won't enjoy is, y'know. harem shit. i literally DO NOT care if someone has another rp partner or two that rp the same muses i do and also ship with those muses, but it starts to become a problem if there's a collection going on and they all have the same exact dynamics.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

the moment those mfers start touching certain spots or doing certain things (like grinding), i put the usfw/nsfw tag on and put pretty much everything under a read-more. if they're just heavily making out and feeling each other up without touching between then legs, then i leave it as suggestive.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

i... pretty much ship every character with kaeya except, yknow, his BROTHER, the kids, and lesbian-coded characters (yae miko, ei, navia, clorinde, ningguang, beidou, shenhe, ganyu, dehya, sara, arlecchino). characters that i DO ship yaya with are rosaria, albedo, ayato, thoma, alhaitham, kaveh, itto, wriothesley, neuvilette, kazuha, lisa, chiori, emilie, jean, mona, scaramouche, xiao, candace, kokomi, baizhu, shinobu, gorou, heizou, tighnari, cyno, layla, xianyun, sethos, yoimiya, sucrose... uh. lmao. help.

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

oh absolutely. i want us to be on the same page and understand each other's plans & wants for our characters. if there's no discussion over shipping, then it just won't happen at all. i need to have things plotted.

How often do you like to ship?

oh i love shipping! but it's not a priority, whatsoever. i like smashing my barbies together as much as the next person but i just want to get some good plotlines/stories going that both our characters can benefit from, and if shipping is thrown into the mix, then hey! cool. if not, also cool!

Are you multiship?

idk, am i?

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

UHHHHH... like. idk. if it's with someone i vibe with and our characters mesh well, then i become kinda ship obsessed? but it doesn't take over my life or anything. i just get excited and maybe even a little emotional over them depending on the context, but like i said, it's not a priority in my life. i just love the little blorbos and flap my hands excitedly if something cute or sweet or whatever happens

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

i... hm. for kaeya, chaeya. but i also have such a HUUUGE thing for wrioluc & varkitano too :') 

Finally, how does one ship with you?

honestly if we vibe OOCly and our characters get along well and there's just. Something There. then we can talk about it! obviously i draw a hard line with certain characters of course, but i'm always willing to discuss things! i'd like to think i'm a pretty approachable person who's open to convos from literally anyone.

i stole this from dandelion so thanks :) LMAO if y'all wanna do this feel free to do it, too!

[scarefox]

Can we finally stop demonizing NC / sex scenes or pitting them against each other to find out which one is more valuable and worthy of existence due to better cinematography and conveyed deep emotions?

Most NC / sex scenes do have a purpose besides fitting in a genre and age rating where they can be shown (talking about the BL/GL/QL realm here... not like american hete action movies with random banging out of the blue). Majority of NC have some storytelling, some character information or development in it. Even if they are not romantic or not artistically shot. A lot of people just don't see it or refuse to see it because some still see it as "sex = a dirty emotionless procedure for the depraved"

But here are some examples of information you can gather from NC scenes that often get overlooked because usually people just look for love and desire:

trust level in the partner

fun / happiness with eo

desperation & longing & hornyness (<- also nothing bad btw everything depends on context and consent)

character looks for distractions with the sex

carelessness for themselves

are they egoistic in bed or do they care for the others pleasure too

do they like to spoil the other? do they like to get spoiled?

are all involved parties actually really into each other?

level of experience (side not: first timer of course will be reserved and more shy... SAME FOR FIRST KISSES)

self-image (shy? confident? self-hate / guilt??)

some like it wild and hard some soft and slow, none of that is superior to the other it's literally personal taste

are there some fetishes and kinks at play (possible hint for a characters psychology, doesn't have to, can be)

even hidden feelings can be shown, like FWB who turn into more or a couple who's falling out of love and just doing it out of rutine

btw masturbation also counts as NC, it doesn't matter if the character is solo sexually active or with others.

And you can just enjoy watching NC scenes without trying to find justification for it. It is literally legal and natural (heck even some social animals like watching other animals banging). You are also not intruding their privacy... it's literally just actors who just play pretend who all gave their consent to show these scenes of them to the public...

And no NCs are literally not the same as porn. ESPECIALLY when we talk about BL NC scenes because bruh, majority of it is so not explicit. All we see is foreplay and a bit of make out or aftermath, but there is rarely actual display of sex beyond that. Except for like Bed Friend and KinnPorsche, Love In The Air kind of spice level. And even they are 'just' on normal western level of sex scenes. The only kind-of-"""BL""" that is actually softcore is "The shortest Distance is Round" the main is even an actual porn actor and I bet some of the others too, the are just not listed on MDL. [all the trigger warnings for that movie series btw]

Does that mean there HAVE to be NC scenes in everything? No. It's basically an artistic choice and depending on what the creator wants to show and for what target audience they want to create. Same as when creators say they don't want to show much. 🤷‍♂️ But the less you show the more you have to tell via other ways. Which is sometimes frustrating for me when they cut the sex part (which again, is totally fine) but then the characters behave like nothing happened, nothing changed. OR THEY DO behave differently but nobody shows or says why! And if you are vague the audience has to fill the gap with their own imagination which can vary a lot from tame to horrible. It feels like I am missing out on their path.

But I do side eye everyone who calls a BL bromance just because it had one soft kiss in it. Or people who call a BL boring when they don't have sexual tension within the first 3 episodes.

Ending this with a nice quote I recently heard in a video about a similar topic:

"Just because something makes YOU uncomfortable, doesn't mean it is automatically something bad. It first of all just means it is not for you and that is ok." (unless it is indeed something bad and not legal then that's a different topic)

[legendarceus]

volo is cynthia / cyllene is cyrus au: family trees

and also me talking about them :)

put below keep reading bc its gonna be a lot lmfao

cynthia (volo) family tree

cynthia is cogita's grandkid! her parents weren't present so cogita raised her until, of course, she got disowned for the whole trying to destroy the world thing. cogita sadly passed away before they could truly reconcile.

while there is no canon ancestor to iris, i think its fun to say that cynthia met iris' ancestor and they had kids and 200 years or something later, iris exists and cynthia gets to meet her great great great great grandchild or something. we'll come back to iris in a minute :)

i also think that lusamine also decended from cynthia, which means gladion and lillie also are related to cynthia! not that its important but you know. giant family.

i do ship cynthia and diantha. i think diantha is one of the few who know that cynthia is immortal but was most definitely the most recent to find out. iris is not aware of this. but these three are found family anyway <3

speaking of found family, prof. carolina and cynthia's younger sister are purely adoptive of sorts. but they're still found family. love them. wow cynthia 2 found families thats crazy.

cyrus (cyllene) family tree

yes this looks odd without context but we do have context so it doesnt matter. cyllene x laventon is canon and you can pry it from my cold dead hands. too bad cyllene got widowed and then found out they were immortal AND trans after laventon died.

anyway, cy and lav were married and akari + rei were their adoptive kids. ingo was akari and rei's adoptive uncle too but that isnt relavent to the family tree. also laventon is a distant relative to leon and hop :) maybe he had siblings or cousins who are great (x?) grandparents to them. who knows.

anyway damn cyrus why do you got 2 found families. but yeah team galactic is naturally cyrus' found family of course. he is his commanders exhausted adoptive father since all of their families suck lmao

mars family tree

i think mars and cynthia have the biggest family trees. anyway mars' was the first one that i did incase that wasn't obvious lmfao, but anyway, lets get into it!!!

arezu is ariana's great (x?) grandmother. ariana had a spouse that she had mars (maria at the time) with, but then she left them once she was like 'oh shoot im having silver!!!', so mars is vaguely aware that silver exists somewhere out there but she has no clue who he is otherwise. and then ariana and giovanni are married and had silver, who has no idea who mars is (he'd probably go through a crisis if he looked at sinnoh news, so lets keep it that way). silv and mars have a 9 year age gap btw just throwing that out there

silver found a new dad (lance) and some really weird teenagers about his age who he got stuck with. he's dating one of them. you have to guess. (i already know which one but im leaving it up to the mind bc silver isnt the focus in this au so imagine whatever you want).

mars and her silly little astronaut friends are her found family! i think arezu would flip her shit if she found out her great (x?) granddaughter was adoptive siblings with that one criminal lady (coin). but hey its fine!!! mars has her weird spaceman father and her weird astronaut siblings and life is good (mostly)

arezu deadass just has a bunch of decendants who commit various crimes

saturn / jupiter family tree

i grouped these two together since they've got the smallest family trees.

saturn is (obviously) a decendant of coin, but he has no contact with his family and hasn't spoken to them in years by the time pokemon platinum takes place.

jupiter and fantina are siblings (fantina is older by a few solid years) but they really don't like eachother. they have little contact with eachother and dont exactly speak often. but they do wish eachother happy birthday sometimes so thats a plusside i guess.

and of course saturn and jupiter both have found family with team galactic. awww how sweet :)

[queerasaurus-rexx]

i truly dislike the proship/antiship discourse, as i think forcing people to shove their opinions on complex issues in fiction into column a or column b is reductive and completely ignores the context regarding ship dynamics.

age gaps, for example, often get the context pulled out. an age gap between two people in their twenties is like

worlds different from a twenty-year-old dating a fifty-year-old, but anti ship discourse tends to treat both scenarios with the same weight.

and that's not even getting into the paedophilia discourse (which, funnily-not-funnily enough, tends to heavily target queer ships. i wonder why that is.)

the real paedos are on twitter. ao3 doesn't have a direct messaging function (grooming is much easier on sites with a dm feature), and most folks who post porn online are not intending for children to be exposed to it.

and if you really cared about these issues, why are you on tumblr telling an artist who barely gets reblogged to kill themselves for their art and not

you know

yelling at real paedophiles on twitter? yelling at the people on instagram who openly admit they are attracted to real life children and talk about sharing actual child porn?

i do not like art and fic about adults assaulting minors. but i would much prefer using my energy to protect living and breathing children than getting uppity at an author who wrote a ship like that.

on the flipside, however, i think proshippers also tend to let a lot of shit slide that they really shouldn't.

like, racism.

objectively both sides are bad for that, but like, proshippers tend to take their 'fiction doesn't affect reality' argument to mean stuff like slave x master shit about actual chattel slavery is fine. (i have SEEN this shit with my own eyes, do NOT tell this doesn't happen)

this is what i mean when i say both sides have issues with context.

it's ok to admit a ship is in poor taste and probably shouldn't be a thing. it will not kill you. you do not have to defend a gross ship because you support other ships like it.

context. matters.

and do not get me started on those toxic ass enemies to lovers ships that are really just abuse. you've got people like e.l james openly admitting she thinks abuse is a love story, and colleen hoover writing actual, physical assault as romantic. like, she doesn't even have the bdsm excuse (which doesn't really even fly with fifty shades, but you know).

you want a moment where fiction actually affects reality, check the correlation between the release of fifty shades of grey and the increase of its target demographic entering abusive relationships.

sometimes fiction does affect reality, though that fiction tends to need a huge boom in popularity and have a target demographic of people who are still figuring their shit out.

anyway i can't wait for the torrent of hatemail from both sides.

my inbox is open, though that doesn't guarantee i'm gonna read it.

[mifhortunach]

wrt last post (aftersun) reviews collected

https://slate.com/culture/2022/11/aftersun-paul-mescal-movie-ending-meaning-final-shot.html

“Memory is a slippery thing; details are hazy, fickle. The more you strain, the less you see. A memory of a memory endlessly corrupting itself. I’ve caught myself recently claiming that feeling is more robust, but it’s tricky. Because in recalling a point in time and how that moment made you feel, it is framed by a new feeling—the feeling of what that moment means to you now. In Turkish, a language rich in vocabulary not easily rendered into English, ‘hasret’ means some combination of longing, love, and loss. It seems particularly appropriate in this context and to this film.”

https://a24films.com/notes/2022/10/a-note-from-charlotte-wells

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“The first time I saw Aftersun, I was struck by how upset it made me, but not entirely in the way I’d been prepared for. [...] Wells’ film is so adept at portraying how childhood memories work, plucking out incidents that feel minor, or snatched bits of dialogue that are little more than offhand remarks, and letting them linger in the mind; I can’t count how many of the sharpest memories of my past are of seemingly minor incidents that lodged in my gray matter, for whatever reason.”

https://slate.com/culture/2022/12/best-movies-2022-aftersun.html

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We tend to think of memories as crystallized moments of time, loosely strung together along the trellises of a drooping chandelier somewhere deep within our mind. And yet, personal experience tells us that our pasts are composed from an infinite swirl of different sources — real and invented — each of them crudely sewn together with the same desperation that our sleeping brains might arrange a billion random neurons into a semi-coherent dream.

Some of those sources are soft as ghosts, and likewise change shape in the shadows. Others are much harder, as still and tactile as a rug on the floor. Both can be evocative, but neither are enough to connect all the dots; not when you’re trying to re-trace someone you loved from the vague silhouette they left behind.

[...]

Wells’ ingenious construction allows “Aftersun” to unfold from a dual perspective that seems to filter it through the eyes of an adult and a child at the same time. We look for discrepancies, scanning the screen for answers to questions that we don’t even know to ask yet until even the film’s most banal images seem rife with secrets.

[...]

[E]ven after watching “Aftersun” four times, I’m still not sure if time will help Sophie come to a better understanding of who her dad was, or if their holiday was the last age when they could possibly have been as honest with each other as they were.

Wells’ film is able to follow its characters through the strobe light of lost time because Mescal and Corio make it so tempting for us to complete their performances for them — to fill in the gaps with the same urgency that we might want to close our own. Few movies have ever ended with a more tempting invitation to do something impossible, but “Aftersun” is so unforgettable because of the agonizing beauty it finds in the futile act of trying.

I often think of the wonderful scene in which Sophie tries to interview Calum on camera, only for her dad to clam up and make her shut it off. “Fine,” she says, “I’ll just record it in my little mind camera.” She doesn’t know it at the time, but it’s a lens she’ll be looking through for the rest of her life; it’s where we look for the people we love when there’s nowhere else to find them.

https://www.indiewire.com/2022/09/aftersun-review-1234758492/ ( :( )