#again this is largely headcanon and based in how i write him and interpret him but

[raspberry-vinaigrette]

thank you to user @m0thwinged for hyping me up. hi here's my analysis on "...and if i did, you deserved it" by will wood as an abel song. note that this is pretty based in how i write him which is naturally a lot of interpretation and text inferring from what bits and pieces we do canonically have so this isnt like "this is the ONLY interpretation and im CORRECT" its just for how i write him in fics and whatnot :)

[ @antiquecandlekitty @tripleratskill @themostsanebug pings since yall would probably be interested in this!]

I want a new pair of shades Get paid to wear shoes Do what I say Don't say what I do When we're alone now High up but a low-down You know I'm not the type of guy to turn my back on a knife And that's why I'm still looking in the mirror

okay so like. there's kinda this persistent theme of the singer hiding themself behind fame and money while simultaneously disliking that same fame and money. and that's a big thing with how i write abel !! all he knows is this businessman identity and so he embraces it full force and the only trace of anything different he understands is when he's with scott. he wants to hide his eyes (the eyes are the window to the soul, for some) and earn the money from being a successful businessman while also enjoying his time along scott... but also he doesnt want it to effect how he's seen by others. he doesn't want to be like scott because he knows he can never be, it's a fruitless endeavor. so he embraces what he is and simultaneously wants to see what makes scott ... scott. its unfamiliar and abel likes it.

ANDDD . "you know i'm not the type of guy to turn my back on a knife / and that's why i'm still looking in the mirror" gaaah. this has two meanings to me. the first one being ,, abel sees himself as a force to be reckoned with. hes a businessman first and prior to scott he viewed the world very corporate-like. everything is a Business Deal and an Offer and everything people do is to get something out of others. he cant turn his back on a knife, so he can't turn his back on himself because he IS the knife, the sharp edge, the hazard. but also theres the second meaning of it -- abel is the one holding the knife. particularly after scott dies and abel starts on the phone guy shit, he's constantly self sabotaging. he's willing to cut himself down and constantly feel the same grief over and over just for the tiny chance scott will come back. it's a vicious cycle. but he wont stop looking in the mirror when the knife sinks in

Oh, I wanna be safe from the fame but be loved from afar Get paid to write my name, could you airbrush my scars? Get my good side Don't get on my bad side You know I'm not the type of guy to turn my back on a knife It's just my luck, these motherfuckers, talking smack on a guy But I'm deservin' every word they could begin to apply At least they know now

once again the first two lyrics with the whole "abel wants to be seen as the Epidemy of Business" thing i mentioned !! i also think that entire concept is a funny parallel to how scott is viewed as the face of fazbender's so much that all the phone guys are programmed to "be" him even long after abel died. abel sees himself as a businessman first and foremost and in turn scott ends up being the business. theyre soooo important to me (i made most of these concepts up). also the last few lines ... abel recognizes he's an unpleasant person and makes no effort to be more amicable -- at most he just kind of acts less grating because scott makes it easy to. in abel's eyes its so EASY to be a cutthroat businessman around everyone else that he sees no reason not to, and as much as he hates the other managers for shittalking him, he also completely understands why they do. which leads into the next part!

That I really don't care what you think or what you say Either that or I do way too much Oh well, whatever, either way My heart's empty, and I'm trying to fill it up But it's not big enough for the both of us No it's not big enough for the both of us

CHORUS !! theres so much here. abel simultaneously tries not to care what people say because he has this kind of hardened exterior, but he also DOES care. a lot. he overthinks, he picks things apart, he hates change and wants things to stay as they are for as long as possible -- he wants to be in control. so the fact he can't control everything people think of him and he just has to stay one step ahead Haunts That Man. but all he can do is try to be that step ahead and constantly think before others can, hence why when i write him ,, it's a lot of overthinking in his inner monologue lol. he views his heart as hollow and empty because he's never put stock in personal connections outside of a business viewpoint, so when scott comes along, abel is desperately trying to "fill his heart up" -- he wants to try and understand how scott acts with so much love. but his heart doesnt have enough room for scott's genuine love and enthusiasm alongside abel's businesslike demeanor and attachment to everything he's been in the past. he can't be scott. he can only try and understand scott.

I want no less than the best but the best I can do Is do the worst thing first and leave the rest up to you I'm realistic Everyone's a critic If I keep beating myself up I'll keep on winning the fight And get my ass kicked I'm poisonous, not toxic I'll admit when I'm wrong but only to be right And if it fits in the song I'll rhyme that with contrived

those first two lines uh. Yeah. Abel and scott. thats SO abel and scott. abel wants the perfect life, decorated in a frame of "this is what i need to be" -- he claims not to believe in destiny but also softlocked himself into "i need to run a business" as his only fate so much he rewrote destiny. scott works perfectly with him by not changing this fate but rather rerouting it. abel runs a business with scott, yes, but abel is given a chance to be more than just a cutthroat ceo. ultimately his bad habits with people and how much he wants to understand scott and live beside him forever catches up w/ him, but for a while, abel is doing better than he otherwise wouldve. however he still believes the best thing he can do is act out and be the shitty businessman hes always framed himself as, then let scott handle doing the good things, because thats how they are. scott is loving and kind and good, and abel is hollowed out. the "i'm realistic" / "everyone's a critic" dichotomy adds to this too -- abel thinks he's being realistic both by believing scott is so good and abel himself is rotten, AND by believing that everybody is constantly criticizing him for his behavior. abel views people Very Negatively and while its not unjustified with how i frame his lore + with how we know he was treated by most others (arguably not unfairly) in canon even before the phone guy stuff, it means his dynamic with scott and his dynamics with other coworkers ends up,, wonky. to put it lightly.

the middle lines !! again !! abel overthinks!! he thinks if he keeps gutting himself of any thoughts and rethinking the same subjects and beating himself up mentally so he feels like hes winning at a game he made up. if hes always thinking ahead he can never be caught off guard and lose, which is another notion that scott breaks . u should read misanthrapologist on my ao3 if ur into this kind of thing btw i go more in depth there but ANYWAYS. poisonous implies something you have to consume to be harmed by rather than toxic things, which are actively harmful rather than passively. abel is saying here that he's not actively hurting people around him -- they have to "indulge" in him (converse and engage w/ him) to be hurt by him. hes harmful regardless, though. he won't deny that. the lyrics go on to outright call his thought process contrived and complicated and contradictory too!! he knows his behavior is weird and circular!! but he doesnt care as long as it makes him feel like he's right about himself and others. he'll tell himself he's wrong whenever he tries to be vulnerable or loosen up because that makes things feel right. they don't have to change that way.

Don't meet your idols Hey, fuck you, I'm your idol But the only label that I'll sign is in the DSM5 'Cause my flaws are sorta on the pathological side Don't call me eccentric, call me mentally sick Cause I ain't sold enough tickets yet to be rich and that's the only difference

the first two lyrics ,, ough. abel simultaneously viewing himself as an idol when he runs fazbender's because of the fame and recognizing that he won't live up to the expectations scott / news outlets set, but then being bitter when he realizes that fact. he knows he's not good and doesnt try to be good, but also he's upset whenever anyone acts reasonably shitty because of that. he's so complicated man. AND THE REST OF LYRICS HERE !!! it ties in so well with his view of himself as a businessman in how i write him ... he believes once he hits that rich and famous point that he aspires for, then all his flaws and messed up psychological issues will just Stop Mattering because he did it!! he proved everyone wrong and achieved what he needed to so now hes super normal. dont Worry About It. but also he doesnt wanna sign himself off to anyone until scott comes around and scott diverts him from his priority being "rich and famous" to being "work with scott until i die" . That man is insane

And if looks could kill I'd be staring in the mirror Yeah, if looks could kill I'd be staring in the mirror Yeah, if looks could kill I'd be staring in the mirror Even more than I already would 'Cause man, I'm looking good

theres the obvious egotism here with abel hyping himself up now that hes finally pursuing a business he feels GOOD about, but also... he'd look more im the mirror if his looks could kill him. the only reason he doesnt want to look longer is because he'll live to see himself. fucks me up in the context of everything abel does and what happens to him. his mind hinges so heavily on what he wants and thinks but to that end when things start going terribly, despite his own self-centered behavior and actions, the thing he wishes would happen deep down is his guilt just to... eat him alive. he wouldnt kill himself but he WOULD let someone else kill him, i think. its kinda insinuated abel didnt put up much of a fight when joe was like "hey we're going to phoney-fy your ass" and his main concern was just that the phone head wouldnt fit. to the bitter end abel was willing to prioritize the policies and rules he (and scott to an extent but scott was unrelated to the phoney policies in that regard) put in place over the fact his own life was in danger. or maybe it was bargaining, because he knew that he didnt have anything to plea with for his life -- maybe the impracticality of it all would make joe stop and think.

no luck.

finally...

And I really don't care what you think or what you say I'm a cancer, I'm malignant, yeah, you oughta stay away My heart's fucking empty, and I'm trying to fill it up But it's not big enough for the both of us

half is a re-iteration of prior lines but those first two lines ,, yeah. Yeagh. abel goes from acknowledging part of him cares what people say to outright forcing others to view him as a monster because he doesnt give a shit anymore !! things are too far gone!! if it brings scott back he'll rip out his own ribs goddammit !! plus like. yeah he is actively killing people or at least leading them to their deaths just as a means to his end. people should stay away or theyll be lost in his quest. it's all worth it. all if abel can say he's sorry.

[eatmeandbirthmeagain]

hello there! before i begin, allow me to express how much i love your work! i've only recently come across the KoH fandom, and your writing has kept me, say, well provided for with all the reader x king baldwin fics and headcanons HEHE. so yes, thank you for the work that you do. <3333 as for my request, it was inspired by a song (the dream academy's version of "please, please, please let me get what i want", with the original by the smiths). i was thinking that it's mainly from king baldwin's perspective, wherein he's already in acceptance of his fate due to his leprosy. so that consumes most of his thoughts, only driven by his responsibility as king to keep moving. but he's not actually living, if you catch my drift. like, he has this "if death takes me now, i'll let it" sort of mentality. but then he meets reader (i'll leave as to how they met and eventually got closer up to you ^^) and his entire world changes drastically. met with this sudden change (and the newfound will to live) which begins to conflict with his time quickly running up, he prays fervently one night, begging that he will be given a second chance, to be able to spend the rest of his life with reader (hence, the song ^^). i was thinking that this is primarily angst, but if fluff will be added to it, that would be a wonderful addition too ^^

i hope this was comprehensible enough. again, thank you so much! i'd love to see how you'll interpret this in your writing! i simply can't wait ><

♧ Please Let Me Get What I Want - King Baldwin x Reader ♧

♧ Angst ♧

A/N: Hello Sheedle!! Thank you so much for this beautiful request, along with your constant love and support. Your words really mean the world to me 🫶. I hope this is what you had in mind for the fic! As always, this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figures. Enjoy!

PS: THE IMAGE I USED FOR THIS FIC IS MF PERFECT CAN WE APPRICIATE THAT FOR A MINNUTE

TW: Leprosy

As the sun began to peak above the horizon line in the distance, the streets came alive, signifying a new day in Jerusalem.

The sunlight crept across the stone floor of the royal chambers until it reached the large, plush bed where the king of Jerusalem slept soundly. Baldwin’s eyes blinked open at the feeling of warmth on his face.

For just a moment, he was at peace. His body didn't hurt and he felt no pain. But this moment did not last long as the dull ache began to spread around his body once again.

Baldwin groaned and turned over onto his back as he came awake slowly. He stared blankly up at the ceiling. The same ceiling he had stared at so many times before.

Sleep was the only escape now. The only time he didn't feel weak or tired was when he lay in bed after a long day, finally getting some time to himself.

But in actual fact, he didn't want time to himself. What Baldwin wanted more than anything was a wife. But not just a wife, a companion.

He often thought about this and had come to the conclusion that it would never happen. No woman in the kingdom would agree to marry a leper. Certainly not any sane woman at least.

Someone who he could share his deepest, innermost thoughts with.

Someone who could show him love.

Someone who he could love in return.

As he lay in bed once again awaiting the arrival of the physicians to clean his wounds, Baldwin let this thought consume him once again.

He often pretended he had a wife. Not obviously though, just subtle little things that gave the illusion of a woman's comfort.

Baldwin turned his head to the pile of pillows that lay on the other side of his double bed and sighed. Every night, he would stack the decorative pillows that adorned his bed for aesthetic purposes beside him and lay on his side, just right so it felt like somebody was holding him.

If he closed his eyes and imagined hard enough, he could pretend to feel the warmth of another right next to him. 

At this point, Baldwin awaited death and when it came he would welcome it with open arms. It wasn't just the illness that plagued him, but terrible loneliness as well.

He felt as if the last few years of his life were nothing more than wasted potential and with so much time alone to think, he couldn't escape these thoughts. As the physicians filed into the room and began to work gently on his frail body, the thoughts remained.

It wasn't until Baldwin was informed about the arrival of princess y/n and her family that the horrible thoughts of death left his mind. His interest sparked at the mention of her name and the name of her father, who had gone down in history for winning many battles in his youth.

Their family would be staying at the castle as they searched for a husband for the young princess y/n. She was the same age as Baldwin and was known for her gentle kindness and beauty.

That was all he knew of her.

Deep down in his heart, the young king secretly wished that he would be the one to marry her. But he knew that was simply impossible.

Possible technically, yes. But would she want to? Absolutely not. In his mind at least. 

And when he layed eyes on her for the first time, it was clear he never had a chance. She wasn't just beautiful, she was a work of art. Truly stunning in every possible way.

Her hair, her eyes, her lips. She was perfect, she was gorgeous, and she was… staring right at him? With a small smile and rosy cheeks.

Her bright eyes twinkled in the sun when she looked his way, causing him to blush behind the mask. He simply couldn't tear his gaze away from her and it seemed that she couldn't do the same.

After dinner, Baldwin was just leaving the physicians quarters to retire to his chambers for the night when he was startled by y/n standing right behind a corner.

Noticing him jump, y/n chuckled. “I'm so sorry your majesty, it's only me” she said, her voice soothing as she placed a delicate hand on his arm.

The touch made Baldwin’s heart race even faster than it already was.

“Oh it-it's quite alright princess. I'm just a little on edge is all. Long day” he tried desperately to steady his heart, especially when she blinked slowly and looked into his eyes with what appeared to be adoration. But it couldn't be, right?

The two got to talking as Baldwin offered to escort her to her chambers for the night which she gladly took him up on the offer.

They spoke of her marriage and how she hoped to finally find a husband as she had been so lonely. In turn, Baldwin spoke of his own misfortune in finding a partner.

“I don't know why no one has asked to marry you princess. You're wonderful” Baldwin told her as they reached her door. Y/n chuckled, blush spreading across her cheeks.

“You're too kind my lord. I could say the same about you, you know. I mean, look at you! You're a beautiful young man” she said, her voice gentle and kind.

Baldwin felt surreal.

Nobody had ever said something like that to him before. Not since the disease had ravished his body at least.

Sensing his bashfulness, y/n smiled and placed a hand on his masked cheek.

“You need not be so hard on yourself Baldwin. From what I have heard, you are a strong leader and a brave one too. My father holds much respect for you and I do too. But after this interaction, I hold much more than respect for you and I hope we can speak more tomorrow” the princess said with a smile.

Baldwin took her hand in his, holding it to his chest.

“I would love that more than you will ever know, princess”.

The two said their goodnights and retired to their chambers, each with a warm feeling of anticipation for what the next day would bring.

But the young king couldn't sleep. His mind was flooded with different scenarios.

Maybe she did want to marry him? But if she did, their marriage would be short and surely childless. Wouldn't that put her off being wed to him if she were to spend half of her life as a widow?

That night Baldwin prayed and prayed to God on his knees for a second chance. For a second chance at life, to be wed to y/n, to live a normal life with her.

He begged until he couldn't think anymore. Staggering over to his bed, Baldwin fell into a deep sleep. Morning came in no time.

--------------------

The following morning, Baldwin awoke as usual. But something was different.

He felt happy, he felt excited and looked forward to the day ahead.

He got out of his bed on his own and dressed himself before the physicians arrived, who were shocked to see him so mobile without immense pain so early in the day.

Y/n was much the same.

Since first laying eyes on the young king, her heart belonged to him. Before seeing Baldwin for the first time, the idea of marriage disgusted her. She didn't want to end up like her friends, forced into a relationship with a man far older than her who controlled her every move.

But after seeing and speaking to him, the idea of marriage seemed amazing. He was so kind and sweet but he seemed so sad.

She wanted more than anything to be the one who would make him happy. She knew of his leprosy as many did but that didn't bother her in the slightest. All she saw was a kind and gentle soul in need of love.

When y/n arrived at Baldwin’s chambers, he was overjoyed to see her. They spent the entire day together, talking and laughing, walking around the courtyard and playing chess. 

By evening, neither wanted the day to end. Neither wanted to leave each other's side at all for that matter.

But one good thing happened that evening and that was Baldwin requesting her hand in marriage (with the blessing of her father of course). Y/n grinned with delight and accepted without hesitation.

As the two spoke together on the couch in Baldwin’s chambers, the sun sank below the horizon leaving the kingdom in peaceful darkness.

Baldwin had removed his mask, revealing his bandaged face to her.

Much to his delight, y/n did nothing but compliment him and stare lovingly into his eyes for the whole evening.

As time went on, the young king felt himself growing more and more tired. His eyes struggled to remain open, but he didn't want his soon to be wife to leave.

He wanted her by his side, forever.

Y/n noticed this and smiled at the sleepy expression he wore while she spoke.

“You should get some rest, your highness” she said softly, placing a hand on his thigh.

“But I don't want you to leave,” he replied, his voice suddenly small. Her heart broke for him. So many years feeling alone and unlovable.

Y/n thought for a moment, “I have an idea!” she spoke after a second.

Baldwin looked up at her with curiosity.

“Why don't you get into bed and I will hold you until you fall asleep, then I will leave. Then we have no risk of being accused of adultery!”

A large grin spread across Baldwin's face, it was the cutest thing she had ever seen. “That would be perfect!” he exclaimed.

Baldwin got changed and climbed into bed, laying down on his usual side of the bed. But this time, he tossed the decorative pillows to the floor.

Y/n climbed into the bed beside him, “just get comfortable and I will hold you” she told him, her voice filled with love.

Baldwin nodded and turned on his side away from her, snuggling into the covers with a smile. Y/n waited a moment, then wrapped her arms around him from behind, pulling him closer so his back was pressed against her chest and her head was resting slightly above his, his blonde curls tickled her nose making her giggle with happiness.

“This is everything I have ever wanted,” the young king whispered, his voice gentle and sleepy.

“Likewise, my love. Just rest now, I will just be in my chambers when you wake” y/n replied, pressing a kiss to the back of his head.

Baldwin nodded and yawned, burying himself further into her arms. The young king was fast asleep in no time, lulled into rest by her warmth.

The single sound of a soft snore broke the silence. The quiet sound of rest told the princess that it was time to leave. As much as she didnt want to, she had to.

Unwrapping her arms carefully so as to not wake him, y/n stood and went to leave. But she couldn't, not yet.

Walking over to Baldwin’s side of the bed, she smiled down at his sleeping form.

Y/n bent down and kissed his forehead lightly.

“I can't wait until every night can be like this my darling. Rest well” she whispered before turning to leave.

Retreating into the night with anticipation for what the next day would bring.

[kouyou-arc-when]

hi! just finished reading your 10k dazai character analysis and it got me thinking...i'm not sure how recent it is and i've never sent an ask on here before so sorry if this is isn't something you care about anymore! i want to start off by saying i really love your interpretation of dazai, i feel like there's a lot of people who "analyze" him and conclude that he's emotionless and evil, or center his entire personality around his suicidal tendencies. i also really liked reading about his thinking and emotional process and how it translates into his actions, instead of treating all of his behaviors like they are controllable and intentional all the time. i'm currently writing an assignment where i have to discuss a character portraying mental illness, which is why i read your post (dissertation?) and it got me thinking way more than just looking up the symptoms. but now i'm wondering if you have any more thoughts or new interperetations of him based on the chapters that came out recently! I also wanted to ask if you think his symptoms fit other types of personality disorders, and why? personally i've seen a lot of evidence from people that he has BPD, but i disagree because the most commonly referenced traits of his that exhibit BPD are the traits that are used as evidence for most other mental health headcanons for him, and I think that he has more defining characteristics for other disorders. but idk. depression is obviously a given, and i am interested in doing more research into antisocial personality disorder to see how much dazai portrays it after reading your paper. i recently did a research paper on CPTSD and thought of him, but i come up blank thinking of other possibilities! If you have more thoughts or ideas on this topic i would absolutely love to know, i really enjoyed reading your analysis and will probably go back and read it again! sorry this is so long...dazai gets me thinking.......you know how it is

I wrote such a large ass reply that I had to make a post -_- I am so sorry. You can find it here:

[undeath1245]

My former predictions and interpretations for episode seven

I started this post around three to eight months a year ago shortly after watching episode five. Originally, I was going to make a list of predictions on what's going to happen in episode six, but since it was already out, I might as well make some predictions for what's going to happen in episode seven. But then, after episode seven premiered, I missed another deadline yet again. I think it's because either that I haven't fleshed out my predictions enough or that I kept trying to flesh them out that I wound up making scenarios in my head, kind of like what I'm doing for episode eight, of which I'll work on quite later. So, here's another list of former predictions I made for episode seven. I think some of them might hold up in episode eight. I don't know.

After remembering a couple of posts speculating about episode seven, I think this episode will be based on The Exorcist due to the religious horror atmosphere and imagery. However, I can share a prediction of what the episode's stinger would be like, largely involving Nori and Khan. I think it would start out as some sort of recollection between the two during the aftermath of the core collapse. Maybe they'll discuss about what their comrades would like to do now that their human superiors had been wiped out, like maybe do some finger painting or write some books or start a family. We might also see a cameo of Doll's parents, Yeva and Doll's father (whom I'm gonna refer to as Ivan). But then, Khan gets a bit worried, wondering if they all got off too easy, and Nori will then assure him that everything is going to be alright, and if it won't, they'll figure it out together. How's that for a heartwarming calm-before-the-storm moment? Now, to end it with a scene of Nori's eyes glitching yellow.

Uzi, N, and Tessa would survive the fall from the elevator, most likely thanks to N's quick reflexes by grabbing Uzi and Tessa and then flying out of the elevator before impact, at least that's how I imagine it. Tessa would then ask them if they're alright, only for Uzi to respond coldly that they all watched V sacrifice herself to the sentinels, but Tessa would happily reply that V will be cloned back at base (where the three landing pods are). N would worriedly ask Tessa if V would really come back with her memories fully intact, only for Tessa to be hesitant of answering his question, but she would then respond yes. As the trio enters the underground church, probably where the testing or enhancement of the solver powers occurred, N would apologize to Uzi for cutting off her hand when she was using her powers to burst the wall open. Uzi would then say that it's okay, and that her powers have been acting really strange lately and is losing control over them. She would then say conclude that the Solver is taking her over, while Tessa looks at Uzi and N from afar.

I think we'll have a couple of brief flashback scenes of Nori and Yeva sneaking into the underground cathedral either to initiate the plan to liberate their fellow drones or do some reconnaissance. I have a headcanon that Yeva, while her default language is Russian as well as her daughter's, can speak English, and vice versa with Nori speaking Russian. I also have another headcanon that drones can switch to any language of their selected choosing, even if they don't know any lick of them. To tell you the truth, I have zero idea how this scene will play out, maybe with a zany dynamic between the two? The wild, giddy Nori compared to the stoic, serious Yeva. Now that I think about it, considering that the cathedral might by at a deeper depth from the planet's surface, let's say by about 3,000 feet, it could be possible for Nori, Yeva, and other Solver-infected drones to overload Copper-9's core together on a closer distance from the core itself, most likely in the center of the cathedral.

V's sacrifice was honestly very shocking when I first saw it. I've never thought that they would briefly kill off a main character like that, and honestly, I really liked where V's character is heading, especially when she finally put her trust on Uzi, possibly for her to find a way to break herself free from the Solver's control. Now, this doesn't mean that V is truly dead. I feel that it's too soon to kill off a main character like that unless it's much later on in the series like in a potential season three (hope I don't foreshadow anything). There is a good chance that she'll come back in either episode seven or eight, and I came up with a few scenarios:

Rescue scenario: V is horribly injured, most likely from fighting off all of the sentinels; let's face it, there's no way a bloodthirsty disassembler like her would go down without a fight. So, who would finish off the remaining sentinels after V is down? Either J, the defective sentinel, or a combination of both. I feel like V would wind up in a heavily wrecked, limbless state, most likely being forced to be carried by either J or the sentinel. Clone scenario: V wins the battle against the sentinels, but then dies in the process. However, as J stated in episode six, she stated that "efficient drones get cloned", meaning that V would most likely be rebuilt in a new body, somewhere in one of the landing pods Tessa and J used to get to Copper 9. There was a previous concern I had with N and V currently retaining their memories before or after death, as (according to episode five) the Solver had been tampering with their memories before they were resurrected into their clone bodies. But, because that Uzi had assigned herself as their new admin, I feel like we probably don't have to worry about an "amnesiac V" scenario. Resurrection scenario: As before, V wins the battle, but dies afterwards. However, there is a slightly good chance that N also gets killed by the Solver, and Uzi also briefly dies. Essentially, the main trio dies. Bad ending time, right? Wrong. I feel like these three are going to self-resurrect, or Uzi self-resurrects first before subconsciously resurrecting N and V afterwards. They'll probably transform into a new type of drone. I'm hoping that they'll transform into an angelic form of some kind, looking a bit similar to V's concept design.

I think we'll get some solo scenes for Doll, probably when she's walking through the lab corridors. I think she'll head to her parents' lab first. I developed a headcanon that Doll's parents managed to separate her from the Solver's influence, probably when she was at a young age. At first, I thought that they would use some sort of unique antivirus code (I'm imagining it as random zeroes and one at this point; I honestly don't know computer codes) to sever the Solver from Doll. But, since episode seven is heading for cosmic horror territory and possible influence from The Exorcist, I imagine that Doll's parents used a strange machine that painfully severs the Solver from its potential host. So, I think that Doll would try to look for the severing machine in her parents' lab, and we could also see some nice pictures of her and her parents. Either that, or maybe Yeva and Doll's father used a series of

The trio might head over to a weapons vault first, but N double-checks it to see if it's booby-trapped by shooting at it. While he does so, he now retains a serious, militant personality, impressing Tessa and worrying Uzi. Tessa and Uzi will arms themselves up with multiple firearms and blades, with Uzi carrying an actual Uzi submachine gun. Meanwhile, N readies an ultra powerful weapon, the comically large cannon we saw in an earlier teaser, of which I believe to be the weapon that will destroy a Solver-possessed drone, like Uzi. After that, Tessa heads off to search for something to defeat the Solver with, but in reality, she'll actually search for the list of test subjects to hunt down the remaining drones that are potentially infected with the Solver virus.

I believe that the next obstacle the trio will face would most likely be eldritch drone mutants similar to eldritch!J, with many of them resembling spiders, cockroaches, and centipedes; creepy crawly galore. We would see back-to-back scenes of N and Uzi and Tessa battling against the drone mutants. Tessa would get a gash from the leg, with a mixture of blood and liquid metal pouring out of it, but Tessa would shrug it off. While Uzi and N are fighting the mutants, we would then see a scene where Uzi leaves the fight all of a sudden to enter a dark, red sea emitted by a blood red sky, the same one we saw in this teaser posted by Liam Vickers himself. And then, hearing N's cries, Uzi immediately returns back to the battle, only to see that she was knocked down and disarmed. As she gets back up, the Solver appears and assists her by morphing her hands into large, fleshy claws, much to Uzi's horror. The Solver will then take the wheel and start slaughtering its own twisted creations one by one, metallic screaming echoing the church, and N watching in horror from afar.

Later on, Uzi would start breaking down, saying that she won't make it and that the Solver will finally take her over, but N implores her that they'll solve this predicament together.

Lately, there's been speculation by many Tumblr users (@haastera-001 included) about Tessa not being entirely human. For example, she's wearing a heavily tinted helmet, and whenever there's a scene when either of the drones are looking at Tessa, all we see is their reflection of the drones' eyes. Plus, from the scene when a sentinel bit Tessa's hand, not only did we see blood, but also some sort of liquid metal, probably the same substance used to regenerate lost disassembly drone parts, like when N regenerated his head in the pilot episode. And strangely, she's been doing some weird mannerisms similar to what CYN was doing in episode five (i.e. the raptor hands). So, it might be possible that she's not entirely human, and that she may or may not be possessed by the Solver. I have a strong feeling that Tessa might have become either some sort of mutated human or an eldritch cybernetic being.

After his battle with Tessa, N would finally make a crazy choice not to kill Uzi, and during his confrontation with Uzi, he instead pleads with her to fight the Solver's control. While fighting Solver!Uzi, he pulls out this huge "I know you're in there" speech, stating how Uzi inspired him to question his programming, how she saved V from Doll's revenge spree, and how she helped him and V recover back their memories. N tells Uzi that she's the greatest drone he's ever met. He then walks up to her and kisses her, declaring his love for Uzi, before being gruesomely impaled and dismembered by the Solver-controlled Uzi.

Seeing N's body, Uzi begins to break away from the Solver's control, overloading her own system in the process and blowing up herself and the Solver. In the center, something starts to reform and take shape, and soon enough, it begins to take the form of a tall hybrid between a worker drone and a disassembly drone. Uzi is fully reformed into a murder drone, as she spreads her newly mechanical wings and tail wide open. She and N share a tearful hug, and then a kiss.

So far, I came up with three outcomes, starting with the downer ending, which seems to be the most possible outcome for this series. N winds up killing Uzi (most likely with Uzi's help), therefore not destroying the Solver for good, but heavily hindering its plans to assimilate the universe. N will undergo a deep depression after this, and Tessa will try to comfort him and ensure him that he saved the universe, and all is right at the end. She then tries to offer something to ease his mind (like watching TV), but N will coldly tell her to leave and that he doesn't want to see her again. Tessa does this, but she tries to hide her tears. As N sinks into his bed (he is gifted a room at this point), he will be greeted by two digital spirits in the form of Uzi and V (if V doesn't come back, that is).

So, that's all the predictions I made for episode seven.

[redemptionarcsucker]

I couldn’t help but think about the line in ‘Retired’ where Helia thinks, “You’ve never trusted anyone anyway. You never will, you’re incapable of love.”

Does this mean he has a hard time loving people around him? It takes a lot for him to trust someone, but with Flora, in ‘Falling’ he says he fell in love with her. Do you have any headcanons on how or why he fell in love with her and if he struggled to come to terms with it?

Ahh thank you for the question! My literature major brain is screamingg

Just as a disclaimer, a lot of what I am going to say is based on the backstory I've sort of constructed from him, and may clash with the other ways that people have interpreted his character

You've made an extremely interesting observation by pointing out the demarcation of love and trust (which I didn't even notice whilst writing the stories), and I think that's actually the key to really understanding Helia's struggle when it comes to relationships. When Helia and Flora met for the first time, it's undeniable that both of them were immediately intrigued by each other. Flora, I think, figured out that she had feelings for him pretty quickly. She was flustered around him, asked Aisha to snoop around, and wrote that letter, and so on.

To me, Helia seems to have had a lot more difficulty really understanding what was happening in his head. The glimpse you get of his past in 'Retired' is sort of reflective of why - the man hardly had the time or space to be a normal kid or even a normal human, with friendships and relationships like other people his age. This is partly why Flora confessed first, because I think he was still struggling to understand his own feelings. For all the "sensitive artist" qualities people assign to him, Helia with a lot of his interactions, especially in the earlier seasons, seems to be extremely guarded and somewhat unsure of how to respond to things. (That's also why it's super cute that he shows Flora he loves her by giving her little presents all the time, because he does seem to slightly struggle with social and romantic conventions otherwise). Helia may have even been in denial about his own feelings to a large extent, which would be kind of ironic because as much as he wants Flora to respond positively to his mild (mostly awkward) flirting, he may have also felt a bit of relief that she did not.

But yeah, I think meeting Flora would have shattered his own self-perception until that point, though once in a while, like in 'Retired', he reverts quite strongly to that state of mind. It checks out that he's so hard on himself all the time, it would make sense that he's constantly anxious about screwing things up in his relationship as well.

So yes, I do think he has a hard time loving people, and an even harder time expressing his love. As I mentioned, gifting people things and giving them compliments to show affection is super interesting in that regard. I would think that Helia kissing Flora for the first time was a sort of reconciliation with himself as well, and (this is once again entirely me just making things angsty), with the lines he says in the 4kids version, something about moving on from the past and focusing on the future, it feels like he's talking about something even bigger than their current situation.

Now in terms of trust, I would think that it wouldn't completely align with his journey of recognising his love for Flora and ultimately realising that he was head-over-heels for her. Helia probably would not trust everyone he loves. Funnily enough, there's a line I wrote in a wip fic where he says that he doesn't trust anyone, but for the time being, he chooses to believe in them instead.

I think it would take him a long time to trust Flora, so long that it might frustrate her sometimes. Helia is the kind to dip out of a place when he's going through something, and as patient as she is with him, it would make sense that she struggles with the fact that he hardly seems to trust her with his feelings or pain, even when it takes a toll on their relationship. Helia is probably extremely aware of this, and that puts even more of a strain on both of them to try to make the other feel comfortable. I would think that this also makes him (over)think about whether he loves her in the first place, since it is disturbingly easy for him to leave everything behind, including her.

That's why I think Helia thinks himself incapable of loving someone, and undeserving of loving him. In 'Falling', Helia calls Flora the warmest person he knows, and I think that is why he fell in love with her, and what is so symmetrical about their relationship. Helia largely aligns himself with his darkness, but Flora represents the light that he could find with the future, the light he could find within himself.

[duran-duran-less-official]

Phineas and Ferb headcanon time

Disclaimer: One of the things I really pride myself on when I'm constructing headcanons is their ability to comply with regular canon. I am going to painstakingly cite my sources (mostly episode names) as I go.

Ever since Candace Against the Universe happened last year, people have been talking about two things: a third season of Milo Murphy's Law, and a third Phineas and Ferb movie. (Both entirely deserved, I would say, but then I'm biased.) This is the headcanon I would construct a third Phineas and Ferb movie around. And yes, I'm aware that I've put a lot of thought into this. It's what I do when I can't sleep. Like now.

One thing I notice is that each Phineas and Ferb movie so far has been in one sense or another based on the thematic conclusion to a character arc for a particular character who isn't Phineas or Ferb. I suppose it's fair to say they don't really need that kind of closure because they're largely wish fulfillment characters and actual character conflict is alien to them.

In Across the 1st and 2nd Dimensions, the character in focus is Perry, who finally has to deal with what happens when the boys figure out his secret identity and how they react to it. It also turns "Where's Perry?", Phineas' eternal catchcry at the start of each day, into something a little more emotionally resonant than a running gag - the question of whether Perry was ever actually there to have fun with the boys over their summer. Of course, the conclusion is, he was, and he appreciates their genius enough to- I could go on about this, not the point.

In Candace Against the Universe, the character in focus is Candace, who has to deal with meeting an actually evil brother-busting version of herself, and has nearly her whole identity deconstructed for her by Super Super Big Doctor before Phineas and Ferb reconstruct it. Again, I could go on.

But who could be the focus of a third movie? Ferb has hidden depths, but no real conflict. Buford has a lot of hidden trauma, but so far the writers have been savvy enough to keep that implied and off-screen, instead letting Doofenshmirtz, a fully-grown adult, shoulder the burden of a comedically over-the-top traumatic childhood. Doofenshmirtz himself? I mean, it's true that he has a lot of issues to deal with, but most of those have been solved by Last Day of Summer, and even more of them were solved (finding a purpose in becoming the future Professor Time) by Milo Murphy's Law. Baljeet? I'll be honest, I don't find him that engaging a character on his own. Isabella? Her only conflict was solved rather sweetly in Act Your Age, and I wouldn't want to write anything that could affect it or recontextualise it.

The answer is Linda.

It has long been a point of speculation in the fandom whether Linda knows about Phineas and Ferb's prodigious engineering and physics-defying abilities. Either interpretation has implications for her character, but neither seem flattering. If she doesn't know, then she really does just have a deficit in her perception of things, which is boring. The joke gets very played out and ridiculous, even at the best of times. If she does know, however, why doesn't she let Candace in on the fact that she tacitly supports them? Why would she allow Candace to wear herself out day after day in service to a punishment that Linda is never going to dish out? I don't want to throw around terms like "abusive" or "gaslighting" when we're dealing with, essentially, a light-hearted children's wish fulfillment cartoon. But there is clearly a conflict there. Linda at all other times seems like a fundamentally good person, albeit one who's extremely chill about everything.

Yet the evidence continues to mount that Linda knows something is up: she purposefully directs Candace's attention to Phineas and Ferb in Christmas Vacation to distract her from her self-esteem crisis; she seems unfazed when she sees their actual invention for real in Interview with a Platypus (apparently not busting them for it because it's an animal translator - adorable and not particularly unsafe), and she celebrates them developing a passion for building things in Thaddeus and Thor, albeit only seeing the first storey of an 11-storey wooden fort. Moreover, it's revealed in Face Your Fear that Linda has a background in astrophysics, that she tries to keep secret. It's entirely possible that Phineas inherited some of his scientific genius from her. Meanwhile, Lawrence seems entirely unfazed when actively participating in Phineas and Ferb's schemes (Father's Day and It's a Mud Mud Mud Mud World to name a couple). You'd think if Lawrence knew, she would at least have a clue. To top it off, Linda's own voice actress believed that she was clued in. But why not at least let Candace in on the joke? Why continue to have her believe that she's intentionally playing favourites and Candace is the odd one out?

So here's where I would go with this.

The Phineas and Ferb movies have done alien abduction, they have done alternate dimensions, but although there were some episodes about it, no movie-scale stories about time travel. Which really fits as a kind of completion of a trifecta of classic sci-fi tropes you can fit Phineas and Ferb around (for all that the three have at least been toyed with during the actual run of the show). This is also relevant because while, in the P&F/Milo Murphy crossover, we did get to see a glimpse of Professor Time, we never really see Doofenshmirtz grow into that character in present time.

In the 1980s

Linda, in her Lindana persona, is riding high on the success of I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun, maybe even performing a concert, when sinister time-travellers from the future burst in and attempt to capture her. A friendlier time-traveller, who in my head is Vinnie Dakota from Milo Murphy's Law, helps her avoid them. Surprisingly, this is not Linda's first rodeo, and she proves adept at grasping the realities of time travel, and capable at fending off the sinister time travellers with a number of tricks, but is confused as to why such people would want to target her, a pop star. Dakota tries, in his own laconic but careful way, to explain that the whole scenario is a bootstrap paradox, but he has to explain it without creating any further bootstraps.

Linda(na) is no fool, and quickly sees through his leading questions; "Hypothetically, how do you feel about having kids - what would you consider an optimal number?" Accepting that there's certain information she shouldn't be allowed to know (for example, if Dakota gives her the idea to name her future kids Phineas and Candace, or god forbid, Ferb, he has just bootstrapped Linda into making choices that she should have been free to make on her own to determine her future), Linda nonetheless gleans the following information.

At some point in the future, some people who are going to be very important to her (her children) are going to grow up to become prodigiously talented with building ludicrously powerful machines, in a way that her background in astrophysics only just hints at (to be clear, she was identified as a threat by the time-travellers for her knowledge of astrophysics, not for being an 80s 1-hit wonder). At some point, her important people (just say it's her kids, Dakota), are going to foil a plot by the time travellers which would otherwise have led to world domination, and so they're coming back to prevent Linda's future from happening in the right way so that the important people can't grow up to stop them. ("Hey, what year is this? Has the movie The Terminator come out yet? Well it's kinda like that.") Those important people are also going to be the ones who bail her out of this situation, hence why this is a bootstrap paradox; without Phineas and Ferb to save her now, Linda can't go on to become the mother of Phineas and Ferb, who will then save her.... Dakota tries to explain this using as vague a set of nouns as he can, to Linda's annoyance.

In the background to this discussion, familiar silhouettes can be seen preventing the time travellers from finding her, defeating them sending them back to their own time. Dakota tells Linda that they have to hide and not look, because the mere act of observing people from her future could create time paradoxes, and he's a fairly chill guy but he doesn't want to create too many of those in one day. He tells her to keep her background in astrophysics to herself if she can; a degree of plausible deniability and perhaps being out of the public eye might keep the heat off her back for a decade or two. At least until the actual attempt to take over the world happens.

Linda, absorbing all this information and having been mysteriously saved by people she's been told are a part of her future, decides to throw a tantrum and abandon her record label to ensure she will be remembered only as a one-hit wonder. Time passes, Lindana fades into obscurity, and over the years, Linda meets a guy and has two beautiful children. Dakota was careful not to mention names or genders, so she chose the names 'Candace' and 'Phineas'. Only something doesn't seem right. As much as you can tell from infants and toddlers, Phineas seems to love everything about physical sciences and related subjects, but Candace won't hear a word of it. Dakota also seemed to think that Linda's marriage would be loving, yet it's not working out for either of them.

Only when she meets Lawrence, and his son Ferb, does she understand what Dakota meant. Lawrence is a passionate repairer of antique furniture, with a penchant for aviation like his father, and Ferb has inherited some of his family's mechanical prowess. Phineas and Ferb will no doubt grow up to be a formidable pair. Letting Lawrence in on her secret past, she resolves to protect the boys and nurture their creative energies as they grow. Lawrence, adaptable and dependable as ever, agrees.

In the 2010s (set 1 or 2 years after the events of "Act Your Age")

Phineas, Ferb, and Candace are now grown up, having spent many summers building things and developing their talents, or in Candace's case, trying to bust them for it. She has grown past that now, and as we will remember, has turned her considerable drive to bust into a very smart Law degree. Perhaps something could be made of Phineas and Ferb, having gone to study at opposite ends of the globe, feeling incomplete without each other (they do their best building as a team, after all). Meanwhile, Perry the Platypus visits 🎶Doofenshmirtz Time Incorporated🎶 (renamed from Doofenshmirtz ____ Incorporated, renamed from Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, for branding purposes) to discover that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has finally achieved the destiny that was laid out for him nearly 12 years ago: he has built a working time machine that can be mass-produced and marketed towards people other than himself [note: this timeline was laid out in Milo Murphy's Law]. While Perry is initially trusting that these will not be used for evil, and while Doofenshmirtz is congratulating himself on achieving something unquestionably good, a sinister group of people break in to steal the time machines for their own evil purposes. Thanks to Doofenshmirtz's ability to talk under wet cement and extrapolate ideas, he correctly deduces that the "Lindana" they seem to be looking for is Linda Flynn-Fletcher, Phineas and Ferb's mother, but he also accidentally lets slip that she's still living in the Tri-State Area. Abandoning their time-travel plans for the moment, they capture Professor Time/Doofenshmirtz and try to neutralize Linda as a threat in the present day.

Unfortunately for them, Doofenshmirtz rambles about their whole plan very loudly, and he is very easily overheard by a visiting Vanessa... who contacts Ferb... who contacts Phineas... who brings Isabella with him...

...as all four reunite in style to save Linda and a very surprised Candace at Maple Drive. To their surprise, Linda is once again more than capable of handling time travellers herself, displaying skills her children have never seen her use before. Candace, of course, is shocked the most of all.

Meanwhile, the time agents from the future, theoretically led by competent people, but also Dakota and his partner Cavendish, show up to try and stop the more sinister organisation from wresting control of all time travel. Linda explains to the boys that she is going to be attacked by these same people in the past, and they have to find ways to prevent that so that she can survive to raise them - then they can return to the present and stop them in the here and now. She will attempt to hold the line with the rest of the time agents until Phineas and Ferb return, to do the things that they should now be able to do. Candace, unable to believe her ears, demands that she stays with her mother at least until she can get an explanation.

Then the truth comes out: Linda knew what the boys were doing all along, for every day of every summer. She knew perfectly well that Candace was telling the truth every time. But she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge it, because preventing them from building all the cool stuff they build might one day have led to them all being erased from existence, Candace included. So instead she played dumb, relying on the weird tendency for their inventions to disappear without warning to prevent her from having to exercise the discipline (or the blatant favouritism to wreck Candace's self-esteem) that Candace's busting would have made necessary. Candace counters that she never felt appreciated or noticed by anyone as a result of this, and notes that even the time travelling people who seem to know how the entire future should go don't think anything of her, the odd one out in a family of prodigies. But Linda assures her that she has amazing talents like her brothers, just in different areas. She can make the time travellers regret not factoring her into their plans.

Meanwhile, Phineas, Ferb, and the usual gang time travel through various points in Linda's history, including the Lindana concert seen earlier, and learn the hidden depths that their mother has had all these years.

I like this story (that I constructed entirely in my head over several weeks and only just wrote down now) because it presents a lot of opportunities:

Another chance to see Phineas, Ferb, and the rest of the gang as adults.

A chance for Linda and Lawrence to showcase the parts of themselves that the ever-prodigious and talented Phineas, Ferb, and Candace inherited from them.

A chance for Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Linda to finally reconnect, only to discover that each other's ambitions (which they discussed the night they went on a failed date) came true.

A chance to see Doofenshmirtz in his slightly more capable Professor Time persona.

Settling a long-running mythology gag once and for all. You see, Linda's voice actor Caroline Rhea doesn't actually sing "I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun"; Olivia Olson, who normally voices Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, does it instead. In Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem!, Linda quipped that she always lip-synced the song when performing it. Suppose the gang discover that one of the evil time travellers has engineered events to prevent Lindana from making it to the recording session for what would eventually become her most famous hit song - effectively preventing her from becoming Lindana (and inspiring her childrens' very important musical gifts) in the first place. How can they resolve it? Lindana from the past can't see them, so they can't help her directly. But even if Lindana did lip-sync at all future performances, they need someone in the here and now to look the part of Lindana. Someone to dress up in garish 80s fashion and wear a huge orange wig. Someone with a really good singing voice. Vanessa sighs deeply, swears the entire group to secrecy, then dons the entire trademark Lindana outfit, and surprisingly nails the song in one take. Everybody respects her sacrifice of punk/goth cred for everyone else's sake. Lindana herself, showing up hours later, is perplexed when the studio tells her they love the song she recorded, but she can't argue with the result. Hence, it's not just that Olivia Olson provides Lindana's singing voice, but Vanessa Doofenshmirtz herself was the singer of the song.

An opportunity to cross over at least a little bit with characters from Milo Murphy's Law without it coming across as gratuitous or forced. Also, easy for any audience members not familiar with MML to understand without too much explanation; knowing who Dakota and Cavendish are in advance is more of a bonus than a requirement.

For me at least, it ticks all of the boxes for everything the fans (including me) say they want. And until we get more Phineas and Ferb content to prove otherwise, this is my headcanon for why Linda knows everything about Phineas and Ferb's inventions but doesn't tell Candace.

[sonatanotwo]

Reconnecting

Bro wrote me this years ago... I still love it so much. I wrote this kinda based off it... including my attempt at matching the style a bit... though I am awful at present tense, so uh yeah. I never posted it, but came across it again recently and realized it was perfect with Day 3′s theme, SO. Here it is. lol There’s some headcanons here Bro and I have toyed with too... like the Academy... which is located in Colorado Springs (where I lived for awhile XD)... which is just a little over an hour drive south of Denver. :Db There’s a lot more about this headcanon’d time I’d like to write one of these days. XDa ANYHOO... 

It hasn't been since Christmas that Virgil's spoken to his brother. It's not really surprising as they haven't really spoken a whole lot over the past few years. Once almost inseparable, it now feels a bit like there’s a chasm between them.

It seemed like life had conspired to draw them apart ever since Scott had been accepted into the Air Force Academy. The last years of high school weren't the same without Scott being there. His brother called him every day at first, but days became weeks and weeks stretched to months. He came to hear more about how his brother was doing secondhand. Scott was busy. Scott was top of his class. Scott wasn't coming home for the summer. He never heard these things from Scott.

Then Virgil went to the Denver School of Advanced Technology.

He saw Scott a few times then, but couldn’t forget the first visit when he'd first been settling in. It had been then that he'd realized that the something that had always existed between them felt like it was missing. Perhaps it was one of those things that became lost when childhood came to an end or maybe the time apart had something to do with it. He hadn’t been sure, but either way he mourned it’s absence. He buried himself in his studies, concentrating on graduating and his plans for the future.

Now here he is, in Dad's jet with Scott at the controls, flying them home. All of Virgil's belongings from Denver packed in the hold, because he’s moving back home. He's a mechanical engineer now and will soon be a member of International Rescue. He's excited to finally begin to learn to fly the ship he'd long ago told their dad he’d pilot one day, but that’s not what's on his mind as he sits in the cockpit.

He'd been surprised it was Scott waiting to take him home instead of their Dad. The reunion had been happy at first, but now an uncomfortable silence had dropped over the cockpit. Attempts at conversing just feel awkward. It’s all so wrong. It had never been like this before.

Here he is finally having to face what he couldn't years before. Soon they’re meant to be partners, going into dangerous situations together to rescue those in need. How can they pull that off? They feel so disconnected from each other. It barely even feels like they’re best friends anymore, at least to him. Virgil isn’t sure if Scott has felt it too. Could it be just him who feels this way? He can’t bring himself to broach the topic, deciding instead to hope it just needs time.

He just doesn’t know what to do or say the whole rest of the trip home. Things feel a little easier once they arrive, but their dad, unsurprisingly, seems to catch on pretty quickly that something isn't right. Virgil notices the way he watches them. They've been home only a few days before he suddenly has them pack up and sends them off to the family ranch for training — just the two of them.

Their first exercise set out for them has them not in the training rooms, but outside, scaling one of the large rock formations not far from the ranch. 'No talking,' is the one rule their dad has imposed. Once that wouldn’t have been a problem at all, but that's not the case now; he’s barely able to read his brother.

Virgil’s now absolutely certain their Dad knows as he pauses his ascent, trying to interpret the slightly worried look Scott’s throwing down at him. He can’t work out what Scott’s worried about.

They’re using new gear Brains sent with them to test. Virgil's been pretty impressed with the multifunction version of the grapple gun Scott's making use of several yards above him — at least he is until unexpectedly the pack releases from the tool, sending Scott falling backwards with an unusually startled cry.

Their panicked gazes meet for the briefest second and Virgil knows Scott needs him. Virgil doesn’t think, he just moves, reaching out and grabbing for his brother's wrist as he falls past. With no chance to brace at all, growing shoulder muscles are put to the test as they're wrenched from the sudden weight of his falling big brother.

Suspended by Virgil’s own grapple line, they simply breathe for a moment, trying to recover from the scare. It's Scott who breaks the rule of silence first.

"So... what do you say we pause this exercise?"

"Agreed," Virgil responds eagerly.

Finding Scott a purchase, he's able to climb down a short ways to a wide ledge and Virgil soon joins him, sitting down beside each other, both still shaken.

"I'll pull the grapple apart when we get back," Virgil offers, worried since it's not often something Brains creates has a flaw.

"Good plan," Scott agrees distractedly, blue eyes locking with his suddenly. "Virgil..."

Virgil raises a questioning eyebrow, but doesn’t get a chance to respond. A hand hooks around his neck and Scott closes the distance between them, forehead pressing against his.

The last time Scott did this — when his brother left for the academy so long ago — is what first comes to mind. Then all the feelings and words come like a rush. The flood of relief, gratitude, trust and love. 'You saved me,’ ‘You’re amazing,’ and 'Thank you.'

He hasn't felt their bond like this in so long; suddenly it feels stronger than ever. Overwhelmed in the best of ways, tears form in Virgil's eyes. 'Anytime,' he replies, echoing his brother's feelings with much the same.

Scott pulls away only long enough to briefly get a look at him before closing the gap once more, this time to draw him into a tight hug that Virgil returns just as tightly. Tucking his face into his brother's shoulder, he feels for a moment like a boy again, finding comfort and safety in his brother's arms.

"I've missed you, Scotty," he admits out loud, knowing Scott can feel just how much, just as he can now sense how much Scott has been missing him. It’s like the door that had closed between them has been thrown wide open. He hopes it never closes again.

"Me too, Virg."

They sit on the ledge a little longer before mutually agreeing their done and head back to the ranch. Sitting on the porch side by side after dinner to watch the stars appear in the darkening sky, Scott makes the executive decision that they're going to head home in the morning.

They're already halfway home when they finally contact their Dad to let him know they're on their way home. At first he doesn't seem very happy with them, but as they try to explain, there's a change in his expression as he watches them talk — he knows and Virgil can see he’s relieved. 

Taking over the controls for a while to give Scott a break, a silence falls between them, but this time it could not be more comfortable. While they still have a lot of catching up to do, every one of Virgil's doubts are gone. He has his best friend back and something feels complete in a way it hasn't in a long time. They aren't back at the island yet, but now he really feels like he's home.

[waifstarion]

I don’t think there is any harm in the baby Jack posts as he is in canon a baby, we only ever see him from age 0-3, it’s his 4th birthday next month. Never in canon has it stated Jack is autistic or coded as such, those quirks we see are canon as an angel not fitting in on earth, Castiel does it all the time. I believe it’s only really Gabriel who doesn’t have this issue as he’s been on earth for a very long time. I have quite a few traits in common with Jack from another condition that is not autism but overlaps, along with others (my condition sadly is very hard to diagnose for this reason, so a lot of people are often misdiagnosed as something else) I don’t post how angry that makes me as people are appropriating my condition and babying my traits (even if I do need help sometimes dressing myself right) If people are happy making Jack a baby then they should be allowed to post that. Jack only aged himself up after Kelly told him the world was unsafe, now Chuck has gone there’s no reason why Jack wouldn’t deage himself back to a toddler to finally experience playing on swings, slides and all the fun things with Castiel and Amara by his side. In a way too, the baby Jack is also a coping mechanism, in canon Jack left and Sam and Dean never seen him again, Sam lived at least 40 years without seeing Jack ever again and even in heaven, Jack wasn’t there 😭😭😭 so to draw or headcanon a small child who may need Sam to cut off the crust on his bread sandwiches, or Dean to read him a story and it be Game of Thrones or something... then that’s how that fan is coping with the true sad ending of Jack’s arc. We know he is with Castiel, he’s happy but Sam and Dean never learned that until after they died.

we would consider him a baby age-wise, as he is never older than three. however, seeing as he was born in a body roughly the age of eighteen, give or take a couple years (based on sam giving 2000 as his fake birth year when he was in the hospital and the cut line from 13x06). jack is never mentally an infant. he may have had the mentality of a younger child in his early episodes, but it doesn’t take too long for him to reach the mindset of a teenager. even at the end of the show, his mental age is probably around late adolescence or early adulthood (though that is up for interpretation). while he may be a baby in a very literal sense of the word (ie age-wise), he is not a baby in his mental state or appearance, which is what truly matters.

jack’s autism coding is all up to interpretation, however, i very intentionally use the term coding due to the fact that it is never outright stated in canon. coding typically isn’t confirmed within the actual show, otherwise i would have simply called it canon. another prominent character with autism coding (which was confirmed by ben edlund in the s6 commentary) is castiel, who just so happens to be a strong basis for jack’s character. many of the other angels are seen exhibiting neurotypical behaviours. angels such as naomi, balthazar, metatron, and many more do not display the traits that cas does. significantly, misha has said in numerous interviews that while his initial intention was to portray cas as something unhuman and unaware of human customs, not a single other actor did the same. as a result, this left cas as the odd one out, firmly establishing that this behaviour is just cas being himself, not an inherent side effect of being an angel. furthermore, the angels frequently make comments about cas being an outlier who doesn’t fit in, and make comments about it being a fundamental difference (eg. coming off the line with a crack in his chassis) rather than a learned behaviour. circling back to the autistic coding of cas and jack, it is never outright stated that either one is autistic, however there are traits that lead people to believe they are. this post does a good job of illustrating some potential autistic coding in jack. while it may not be intentional, it is certainly there, and a very prevalent interpretation within fandom. i'm sorry to hear that people infantilize your condition. i respect the fact that you make the personal decision not to make angry posts about it, as that is your prerogative. however, it is also mine to make a post about a pattern of behaviour i (and others) have noticed in fandom. the intention of my post is to encourage people to notice such patterns, and to draw their attention to it as there could be many people who never considered it from this point of view.

i never said they aren’t allowed to post it. on the contrary, i reblog posts about it on a semi-frequent basis. that being said, i find that there is a difference between sometimes posting about it versus exclusively portraying him as a baby and never talking about him as a person. in my post, i very clearly stated that it was about people posting it constantly and exclusively portraying him as an infant, which was my phrasing verbatim. it can be fun to portray characters in different ways, but in my opinion it becomes a problem when you constantly erase his character and backstory just to be a prop for a ship or your favourite character.

as for him wanting to deage himself, he has never indicated that. quite the contrary, he has been bothered when he is not taken seriously or seen as incapable. he wants to be capable and independent. it doesn’t make sense for him to want to limit himself mentally and physically so he becomes entirely reliant on those around him. he would lose essentially all of his autonomy, and i doubt that would be enjoyable for him. if he wants to go on a swing or a slide, no one’s stopping him in his current state. he can do plenty of the typical fun things while still being in his current form.

as it is, i don’t think that jack would be yearning for the stereotypical ideal childhood. no one jack has been around has had a normal, stable childhood. the bros, cas, rowena, etc all had abnormal and unstable childhoods. he was very briefly in his mother’s childhood heaven and that’s about the extent of it. even then, her heaven just consisted of her house with her dog. jack had a house and a pet, which he could easily view it as similar. even the tv shows we know he watches (clone wars, the walking dead, and riverdale) all seem to deal with people who do not get to experience real childhoods. he may not even be aware of the extent he is missing out on. even if he is aware, he may be perfectly fine with that and content with the memories he has already.

citing sam and dean’s preferences in and of itself is endemic to the issue of the constant baby jack posting. to be blunt, i don’t really care about what sam and dean want him to present himself as. they made little to no attempt to care for him as it was, so why should jack sacrifice his autonomy just so they can get some enjoyment out of it? in the finale, they barely even noticed his absence. you mention sam living forty years without him, yet he couldn’t be bothered to include a single photo of him in his house. jack shouldn’t have to change himself to make people happy. he should be himself, with complete autonomy, and loved for that. there is no true sad ending of jack’s arc. he’s happy with cas, just as you said. cas loved him unconditionally and was the only one who believed in him the entire time. cas wasn’t fazed when jack was an adult instead of the baby he had anticipated. he was happy to be with his son, regardless of what form that took.

the way cas and jack operate heaven is also left largely up to interpretation. all we know is that sam and dean are now there in the same place of them. it can easily be interpreted that they are all spending time together if that’s what you so please. it could very well be amara, cas, or another character that runs heaven. we don’t even know if there is anyone who needs to be in charge. it may run autonomously at this point and allow for jack to go off on whatever little hijinks he pleases

there are ways to write about tfw and jack post finale without erasing his personality and turning him into a prop. the entire issue is the fact that jack keeps getting used as a prop, and his tag consists almost exclusively of content where he is used as an accessory for other characters. all i’m asking is for people to stop constantly infantilizing him and to take the time to portray him as a fleshed out character sometimes.

[marvus-xoloto]

Okay so. Someone asked me why I thought Marvus was a prince of time and I decided maybe to write a post about it! To be completely honest, this whole ‘theory’ started because I simply enjoy the thought of Marvus in the princely pantaloons lol. 

I want to start this post off with: everyone interprets characters and classes a little differently and classpects are more about personal growth, and I can only present my thoughts based on my own perspective of Marvus. In fact, I do think that you could make strong arguments towards other classes (mage being a strong contender, but I can see witch and bard, for example.... we’ll get to those later), but I feel personally that prince suits him best.

Also I am not a classpecting blog just for the record, nor am I trying to impart some big truth or my own views upon the fandom. This was purely speculation for fun’s sake, and because someone asked :) !!

So let’s start with what it means to be time bound! Very simply put, the time bound are goal oriented, chaos minded, in tune with rhythms and death, and are generally more focused on “the ends justify the means.” This absolutely suits Marvus: he is clearly working towards his own goal (or, my personal opinion, several of his own parallel goals), he definitely wants to “shake things up,” he’s a musician (see his friendsim route, people die to his music), and, well, just look at the end of act 2- he’s definitely justifying his treatment of Joey as end > means. So he’s pretty strongly connected to his aspect right away and takes control of it, which in my opinion rules out page and heir.

Let’s move on to classes to really narrow it down. 

Lord/Muse are reserved for two player sessions, and my personal headcanon is that these are cherub exclusive, so I won’t be looking into or considering those.

Witches take control and change through their aspect: this could definitely suit him! Marvus is all about control and he’s definitely patient enough, but to my understanding witch is that they are very inclined to take command and manipulate their object. Witches in canon tend to be very detached from people (Jade, Damara, Feferi), and Marvus is a people person, so I think we can rule this one out. You could argue that he’s rather detached emotionally, but I’m not going to. Doesn’t vibe with me.

Heirs are served a lot of their aspect without much control over it. Doesn’t sound like Marvus to me, plus I don’t see him as a passive player.

Seer.... I understand why this one is a popular headcanon- it’s all about influencing from behind the scenes, and Marvus definitely does do that- but seers focus their intents almost entirely though others. Marvus definitely inserts himself where he needs to be, and he’s capable of manipulating his aspect on his own when it suits him. And again, I personally don’t see him as a passive player, for all that he’d like to appear passive. He has big goals and he wants to- or, in his eyes, he will achieve them.

Mage is almost right: tbh I don’t quite understand mages, but my interpretation is “understand first, act second.” Suits Marvus, but I think he does have an inclination to want to act as quickly as possible. Plus, it’s implied that mages suffer through their aspect; Marvus is definitely not suffering. Other people certainly are, though, so I can see an argument in favor of Mage of Time Marvus for sure! Again, it simply doesn’t have quite the right vibe to me.

Maids and Sylphs lean more towards being healer classes.... no <3.

Thief and rogue have small themes of justice and stealing, and I don’t see that fitting Marvus.

Now bard.... bard is similar to prince! I only say no to this one because Marvus reads to me as an active class. I do like to imagine him in the bardly god hood, though. I wonder if it would be blasphemy, since those are the robes of the messiahs...? Anyway not relevant kjadslaskdj

So let’s move on to prince, and why I think it suits him.

Princes are destruction classes, and Marvus does have themes of destruction through time throughout his friendsim route and act 2. In friendsim, he did his best to delay (or destroy) the bad time line for MSPAR, and he’s actively helping Joey along the path of... not quite least resistance. It’s fair to say he’s working towards a timeline that suits his needs. Princes are fueled by their aspects, and Marvus definitely shines as a timebound. The strongest and most elegant arguement for Prince of Time; he’s an incredibly successful musician. and themes of prince of time can be found especially prevalent here: people are literally destroyed by his rhythm.

Princes also act as leaders working under an authority. I don’t really want to argue who he’s working for specifically- scratch and the clurch are definitely tied, but Marvus does seem to have his own agenda. This point can only be elaborated on the more we get to understand Marvus as a character, so I’m not going to argue it super deeply just yet.

Lastly, all princes need subjects. For Dirk, he had the carapacians and then later I guess the audience? Idk, i don’t read current homestuck, i don’t know her. Eridan had his angels. Marvus has his adoring crowds.

And on a more personal level, I can see a large personality trait of princes as feeling disdainful or having a complicated relationship with their aspect. Marvus definitely does not like when things stagnate; see how in act two he actively pushes Joey forward, and even pushes her into understanding Alternia so she can grow. 

So yeah those are my thoughts! I can talk about Marvus for hours, but I’d like to reiterate again that this is only my personal point of view and we very likely won’t ever get canon classpects for the fs/act2 trolls, so please have fun and do whatever suits you best! 

[thatblondeperson]

So I learnt from that Tim Drake Guy's tumblr that Steph is a bully and abusive with Tim is that true. I ask since I know you seem to agree with a lot of the thoughts expressed on that blog. Can you help me find some examples of Tim/Steph comics. I was going to get YJ but the same tumblr blog says it's bad

So I want to preface with some very solid advice I've learned from being in fandom. It's really hard to learn anything from any blog because so much of it is opinion based, that the line between headcanon and canon gets far too muddied too often, and there's also always going to be biases that come from very personal spaces. It's important to take everything that every blog says ESPECIALLY in the DC fandom, with a very large grain of salt because half the fandom really doesn't actually seem to source their information with anything other than out of context panels, shitposts, or their own perfect ideals of what they want to gleam from the pages of each comic. It's all interpretive, and I'm sure that sounds a little bit petty, but I'm adding myself in here too because I have my own opinions separate from others, despite my firm ideology in staying as close to canon as I possibly can.

As far as that blog, I actually strayed away from them because I no longer agreed with a lot of what was being said. It got to the point where it was getting very unnecessarily negative all the time, and I want no part in this ship war that drives practically every bit of drama in the Tim fandom. I think that there is a lot of merit to some of the opinions on that blog, and they're clearly an expert on Tim in many ways. I knew them personally, so I can attest to that. But I think they also read only what they WANT to read on every page, and I think that makes for a lot of gaps where misinformation can leak in. That got filled with a lot of straight up wrong assessments of Stephanie Brown, and unfortunately that blog was already prime traffic for antis to spew unnecessary hate, so once the blog itself got on board, I tapped out.

No, Stephanie is not an abuser or a bully. I think tumblr throws around the word abuse far too casually. At most, Steph teases Tim, but never to a malicious or purposefully hurtful extent. She pokes at him, just like you would with a best friend. He barely even protests. A simple "Steph..." every now and again, but he even teases her back often and jokes with her. She's not an abuser, in fact, she herself is a victim of severe abuse in her childhood. Her flirting at the beginning of her and Tim's relationship is a bit intense, but she's 15, and doesn't know how to catch his attention. Her boyfriend was clearly way older than her and did not treat her well, her father abused her mother, and she was sexually harassed by her father's friends. She's never seen a healthy relationship to know how to act. Once they get together, she mellows out and is actually very compassionate and kind with Tim, and especially supportive.

A lot of haters throw around all this terrible stuff she did.

They say she stole Robin from Tim. He stepped away from the mantle, and she thought she caught him cheating, and Bruce opened up the opportunity for her.

They highlight a time when she almost blew Tim up. Bruce told her to do something drastic to force Tim to be a better Robin. Should she have thought it through? Yes. But she was young, and still desperate to prove herself.

Steph is a loose canon throughout a lot of her appearances. She doesn't always think before she acts, and that is one of her major flaws. She gets into trouble often, and that causes a lot of tension between her and Tim, often from him becoming overprotective of her.

Steph starts out fairly cynical in the beginning and softens up over time. After the explosion stunt with Tim, she does get her act together and she goes through a fantastic character arc where she really improves upon herself. She becomes a beacon of hope, but she really already was one. She's always been a source of light for Tim. She's a constant tether for him throughout their relationship, and she constantly bringing him back to reality. I think their dynamic is really great, and it does hurt me a lot how often she gets dragged through the mud now. It's tumblr, what can you do?

It's also interesting to me how often Steph is called out for being the unhealthy one, and they never talk about how Tim was the shitty boyfriend way more often:

Kept his identity from her but didn't respect keeping hers private

Kissed her when he was dating someone else at the time (he's actually kinda known for subtle two-timing, but this is hardly brought up by fans)

Essentially stalked her for a while

Often told her she needed to stop being Spoiler (overprotective nature yes...but still)

Interesting how the relationship is only toxic because of Steph. Hell she even gets shit for getting upset that Greta straight up tried to kill her in Young Justice, because they think it was selfish of her that she was desperate to learn Robin's identity. Yeah sorry...murder vs wanting to know your crushes name? Which is worse?

I'm also not going to sit here and demand that everyone love Steph. It's ok that people don't like her, I could give 2 shits, but if they're gonna spew hate, I'd prefer it be rooted in truth. Some of what I see written about her is just so so wrong...there's a trend in anti culture to even write her as Tim's rapist which YIKES. That's so beyond a healthy amount of dislike for a character.

Anyway, comic recs!!!

Detective Comics 647-648. (First appearance of Steph/Spoiler with classic "love at first brick" moment.)

Robin 57-65 (First date issue which is the cutest thing ever. Robin does a little flip at the end because he's so happy. And the chronology of Steph being pregnant which Tim was supportive of the whole time. Super sweet)

Robin 100-104 (Steph gets sick and Tim brings her soup. Lots of cute domestic moments, and you get more into Steph's past)

Robin 111 (more about Steph's past with Tim being super supportive, also the infamous piano issue which is a personal favorite of mine)

Robin 116 (very cute moments after Tim forgets his bday and everyone, Steph included, surprises him)

Robin 119 (supportive bf Tim, strikes again)

Robin 120 (Steph being an amazing supportive gf)

Batgirl 8 (Steph's run, where she and Tim collide again for the first time in a long time. Awkwardness and tension ensues, Tim tries to make a move)

Red Robin 10 (more crossover, very fun. More awkwardness and tension)

Convergence Batgirl (Not the best run, but a nice bit of closure for the pre flashpoint universe. Very sweet and wholesome.)

There's way more that I could list but I'm awful with issue numbers tbh. I know the stories, but I don't have the catalogue memorized. Better people than me have probably made a masterlist of TimSteph comics lol

I don't think you should let any blog turn you away from any particular series. I think if you wanna try out the new YJ, go for it!! I'm very cynical to anything published post 2011, but YJ is the only thing I've consistently read that's NEW, in years. I find it fun. Is it the best? No, not by miles, and it gets stuck with a lot of nonsensical filler often. But it's still a very cute and fun run.

I hope this ask gave you a lot of good info! I also recommend the very long post that should be just below this that goes into a lot of fandom misconceptions about Stephanie brown with more picture examples to highlight everything. Thanks for the ask, anon! I hope you have a lovely time reading these comics and hopefully many more!!

🖤💜❤😊😊😊❤💜🖤

[overdrivels]

TWtaH Notes

I’m finally free. It took three years and nearly 150k words, but I’m finally done. I can’t believe it. 

It started off as a simple idea and a simple premise: a chef!reader who, while knife sharpening, catches Hanzo’s attention. It then evolved into a full-fledged fic with a plot and plot twists. Originally, it was supposed to be around 10 chapters long, but then it grew out of control over the years as I tried to figure out how to end what I started. 

In addition to being a redemption fic, this was also an information dump fic. Since this is the very first slowburn I have ever finished and I have the feeling I won’t have much opportunity to do the same ever again--I don’t think any other fandom would give me the ability to showcase all these tidbits like Overwatch does--I literally threw as much knowledge as I could reasonably incorporate as possible.

About plot changes:

Most of the original plot points survived the writing process, some minor ones didn’t for plot related reasons, so this surprisingly went better than I thought it would. 

There was supposed to be another scene where Chef faced off against Reaper in chapter 20 or so, but upon reassessing Reaper’s character, I decided he wouldn’t do that, especially not against civilians or put himself in harm’s way just to say something to Chef. He wouldn’t even say anything to his family in the comics, what makes anyone think he’d do anything to someone he had even less of a personal relationship with?

There were supposed to be more scenes about Chef’s fencing, but I couldn’t fit it in and it ended up being a one-trick pony plot device. It wasn’t supposed to be that way, but that’s how it turned out. There was supposed to be a scene where Chef fights back against Talon during their infiltration of the Watchpoint.

There were points where Hanzo himself talked his way out of situations and forced me to change the plot. In the kitchen when he first meets Chef face-to-face, he wasn’t supposed to get the chef to forgive him which is the biggest plot deviation I’ve had and it forced me to reconsider large sections of the story. Honestly, I think it’s for the better though because I was really at a loss as to how to progress the original plot under those conditions.

I also wanted to emphasize that when Chef left, there was increased tension between the members. There was little commonality joining them all together except for the fact they all needed to eat. In order for some parties to work, you have to have your support characters, and in that case, it’d be Chef. But I seem to have bumbled through that bit and made it less impactful so if I ever got a chance to rewrite this, I’d probably stress this bit more.

Symmetra was supposed to have a much bigger role in this, somehow she fell to the wayside with that one plot change in the kitchen I mentioned before. On the flipside, Ana and McCree got a way bigger role than expected. 

One of the biggest plot changes was Hanzo hating peppers. Originally he was supposed to hate onions but I thought there was way too much onion in Japanese cuisine to omit them, so I thought of something that would seem more ‘childish’.

To be fair, I also don’t really like peppers all that much either. But I sure as hell love onions.

The proposal with the miso soup at the end, the plot twist where the chefs are the real treasure, and some other minor details have been there since the beginning of the idea’s conception. Things like Reaper trading Overwatch’s life for the tamale, the name of the restaurant, and Hanzo’s fight with Genji only came after the fic was being written. 

Real life:

Covid really took its toll on me since a lot of this fic revolved around food, tasting it, experiencing it, making it, etc. I lost a good portion of my taste and smell, and it’s not back 100% even months later, so a lot of what I begin to describe after a certain point is just based on memory. If a pre-pandemic world, I would have been running around the city, sampling foods and writing down my impressions, but with things as they were, it didn’t pan out that way.

I tried to stuff as many of my favorite foods (and not so favorite foods) here as much as possible. There were a lot of foods I omitted because there’s only so much I could fit in here. A companion compilation fic of the Overwatch characters eating their favorite foods or just eating food in general made by Chef sounds really appealing right now.

May, June, and July made me really want to expand the story and include things in the fic that would turn it ‘problematic’ or at least morally ambiguous. If I did that, this fic would never be finished. 

Characterization and development:

Junkrat and Roadhog are much more docile in this story than I would have headcanoned them simply because food security is life-changing. I really liked the idea of Roadhog using his farming skills and being less homicidal with the right environment. They both know food is sacred. 

Argus 20 is in reference to Argus Panoptes, the all-seeing many eyed giant from greek mythology. The 20 comes from “hindsight is 20-20” (but now 2020 has a very different connotation and I’m thinking it’s pretty fitting). The reason for this is because she oversaw a lot of what was happening especially in the front of house. It’s not mentioned in the story, but she oversaw things like purchasing the restaurant, setting up the dummy accounts, organizing and obfuscating the donations, etc.

In case there was any confusion, ‘Tanuja Deshmukh Singh’ is Asim’s deadname. When he left Overwatch and became Asim Singh, his family disowned him. He was then free to live as himself, but he never discarded his last name because he still wanted to be connected to his family in some vague way no matter how much they disliked or denied his existence.

Head Chef Richard has been in jail. His backstory is basically after firing his staff to protect them from the fall out, he basically told the press he fired them for insubordination and took the fall for the kitchens and got quietly arrested. He was sent to the same prison that Chef would end up at. He’s not a very honest man, I don’t think, but he’s a character who was molded by the story and its needs rather than being a pre-established OC. 

I kind of wanted to write the fic in a way where Argus and Asim weren’t bad guys but people who were forced to make difficult decisions because of the position they were put in by Chef and by Talon. Cause, you know, sometimes you do things to hurt people without realizing it.

I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to push another ship in the background. If you see hints of different pairings here and there, you may be seeing it right because I kept flip-flopping between chapters as to whether I wanted to or not, and if I decided I did, I kept changing the pairings.

Hanzo. Where do I even start with this guy? I had a really tough time trying to stick to one interpretation of his character. I kept reading other fics and going, “Yeah. Yeah! I want that!” But then it just became a huge mish-mash of characterizations until I wasn’t sure who he was anymore. But I clung onto the thought of “he’s the first son of an Asian household dealing with his spoiled brother” to help get me through it. It reminds me of that tweet that goes, “You think you can hurt me? I’m the eldest daughter in an asian family.” It was so relatable. Channeling eldest sibling in asian family vibes. 

Chef. It was so hard. It was so damn hard writing a faceless character for so many words. I can usually do it in a one-shot because I can get away with not mentioning stuff, but in a slowburn?? It’s so difficult. Multiple times I had to stop myself or revise things because there were characters talking about Chef and I didn’t want to make the dialogue unnatural by saying ‘chef’ ‘chef’ over and over again. There were other moments like Soldier carrying Chef out of the Cellar and I was like: “What if the reader is taller than Soldier?!” It was a struggle. The other struggle was characterization. There were so many in-story stressful moments that I wanted Chef to start crying at but the timing of it was so frequent that I had to nix most of them or risk making Chef unrelatable. 

lol i’ve made several pseudo-cameos in the story because I’m shameless. 

Miscellaneous:

Man, my style changed so many times throughout the story. At some point I ended up writing outlines made solely of dialogue and wrote the story around it. It was oddly distressing when I realized my words wouldn’t come out like they used to.  

This fic has seen me through a ridiculous amount of crap. I kind of wished I kept a journal or something because these past three years have been nuts. 

After this, I’ll probably retire from writing Overwatch and then go into my usual writing hibernation that spans about 4 years before I reemerge with an unquenchable thirst for something stupid. 

In my nearly 20 years of writing fanfic, this is the first slowburn I’ve ever completed. To be fair, the last time I even tried was like...over 10 years ago when mediaminer was still a thing and didn’t ban CYOAs.

This was also the longest single fic I’ve ever written. I have wirtten 200k in a year before but never for any single thing.

God, this was hard. I partially did it to prove that you don’t need to use placeholders like ‘Y/N’ and stuff like that and it was possible to write a slowburn with gender neutral stuff, but I had to cheat a bit. But it’s done. 

I’ve worked in the restaurant business for a few years but not as a chef. It wasn’t even high-end either. I wanted to talk about the work conditions because it’s pretty tough in the kitchens and the amount of drugs and vices people turn to and the conditions in which people come to work is nuts. 

I wanted to cover a lot of controversial topics to see if I could but it just didn’t fit in the story. I wanted to tap into things like social justice, racism, prejudices, political landscapes, and so on. Even within Overwatch, I’d imagine there’s a lot of tensions stemming from just basic ideologies. I wanted to see if I could write about both (or more) sides of challenging arguments and still remove the author’s opinions from the story, but I’d imagine that’ll bring its own complications. Last thing I wanted was to start a fight in the comments or something.

I almost made the crew travel to Asia with implications of a changed geo-political sphere from today. Like...the status of Taiwan would’ve been interesting to touch upon, but I didn’t feel like I had the knowledge to expand on it enough.

Almost every waking of my life, I have thought or worked on this fic. During meetings, during conferences, during client calls, while I’m on public transportation, in different countries. I don’t know what to do with myself now.

Anyway, if you have any questions or anything or just want to shout at me, inbox is open.. For now I’m just going to lament over the fact that Genshin Impact gives me motion sickness and I can’t play despite working so hard to roll Mona.

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

About Assassination Classroom Characters - Kayano Kaede

So, this one is actually kind of difficult to do since Kayano kind of... faked her personality for most of canon. The way I’m going to interpret it is that her persona of Kayano is ‘mostly’ the person she really is by the end of the series, if just less innocent. But anyway warning, some of this should be taken with a pinch of salt. 

One of the most notable parts of Kayano’s personality is how bubbly and friendly she is. 

The character book (pre reveal, I’m pretty sure) states that since she’s always cheery, she’s one of the mood makers of the class. She doesn’t often step out in front, but will happily support everyone from the back. 

Perhaps that’s kind of a good thing, because the whole pudding arc was some serious ‘crack head energy’. Then again, she was only doing that to cover up for not planning an assassination of her own, so perhaps she was overcompensating. 

Although caused by tentacles originally, another huge part of her is her love for sweets. This is something she uses to bond with both Kurahashi and Korosensei (well, that’s... complicated)

She’s seen by most characters as just nice and easy to get along with, I’m pretty sure nobody has anything particularly against her. 

Of course, there’s a lot of darkness behind her plain exterior. That makes a lot of sense, actually, because she was trying to make a conscious effort to blend into the background. 

I’m pretty certain that her mother’s dead (in my mind, whilst she was very young), and therefore she always viewed Aguri more like a mother. Her father owned the laboratory where Korosensei was created, and I assume he worked quite a lot to try and keep everything afloat. Yukimura pharmaceuticals was going bust, though, hence Yanagisawa. 

There’s no real evidence for this, but it reads a bit strange that her father supposedly has no issue with his daughter suddenly faking an entire identity overnight, and getting away with the tentacles. My personal headcanon is that, perhaps overwhelmed with grief and guilt, pretty much ran away and went into a kind of hiding, leaving Kayano with only an apartment to live in. This makes sense to me, if the government somehow managed to trace back Korosensei’s origins, and the moon explosion, to him. That would leave Kayano pretty alone in the world. 

I do think she did enjoy being a child actress, though it’s hard to judge, considering she got into it quite young and it’s debatable how much choice she would have had over it. Maybe she did plays during daycare or something. 

It seems like she’s had to deal with a few gross directors in the industry already, though, since she picks up on Yanagisawa’s nature easily. This makes we wonder if it’s partly the cause of her obsession with big boobs, like that’s something she learnt to hate about the very appearance based acting industry. She’s still very young, though, which makes that extra sad.

Honestly I think Kayano was already pretty hardened by her childhood, which makes Aguri’s death so much worse. Though I don’t think they were ultra close after her engagement to Yanagisawa (i.e seeing each other all the time), to lose her only real parental figure... Not only to lose, but to witness such a violent death. That would mess any of us up. 

Kayano isn’t frequently portrayed as brave, but the fact that she reacted so quickly to inject herself with the tentacles, to decide to get revenge leads me to think she really is. Also stepping forwards and the end, which leads her to literally get killed. Not that these actions were good and thought out, but they were brave nonetheless. 

There’s nothing that suggests to me that her friendships with Okuda and Kanzaki aren’t genuine. Maybe a part of the motivation was it would be strange not to make friends with people, but she does seem to get along with them well. Since both are quite quiet, Kayano’s talkativeness can make up for it. The three of them have a good dynamic, I think, even if they’re maybe not the most obvious friends at first. 

Her efforts to make them feel included in something are really kind, actually. 

She’s good friends with Hara, since they realised they had a passion for food and sweet things. 

She’s also good friends with Fuwa, since they sit close together. Though she doesn’t completely follow her conversation all the time, they have a good time. The three of them often sit together at lunch. 

I promise this isn’t in a NOTP way, but we need to remember that the only reason she became friends with Nagisa was she detected his bloodlust. It’s important to acknowledge that more than anyone, she did use him the most, even if he doesn’t hold it against her. 

That being said, they are best friends. Even if her intentions weren’t so great to begin with, there is genuine like for him. They get along really well, and they’re comfortable friends. They walk home together with Sugino, and presumably spend time out of school together. 

Honestly, given the trauma, I guess it’s debatable how much Kayano can really be ‘blamed” for it. 

It’s also a point that, we know from Itona, the tentacles are painful especially without proper maintenance. 

We love marvellously complex characters on this blog. 

Of course, there’s the whole crush situation. Let’s be real, Matsui did NOT handle her character well after that reveal. What I will say, though, is her letting Nagisa ‘go’ so to speak, during the valentines day episode, shows a lot of character growth. I think honestly Kayano needs time to herself to figure out the person she is, since her true personality supposedly changed. 

She’s strong willed and adaptable, which are two very genuinely good character traits. 

It’s not really mentioned in any official information content, but we can assume she hangs out with Nakamura, Sugino, and Karma too. I’m not sure exactly the level of friendship there, between them, but they’re all in a very large friendship group, so we can assume they get along. 

Honestly I’d love to see one of their group trips out somewhere, actually having fun for a little bit. I figure Kayano never really had the chance to have a normal life, so it would take her back a little to actually hang out with genuine friends that like her for her. Well, her ‘persona’ anyway. It seems like it would be kind of confusing.

In summary, due to circumstances, Kayano is for sure a complex character. The way she should be portrayed in people’s writing, honestly, highly depends on what perspective she’s being seen from. She gets treated badly, honestly, either kind of weak when paired with Nagisa, or crazy jealous when Nagisa is paired with someone else. It’s sad, because there’s so much potential to explore with her. I’d love to see more about how her fake personality really effected her, and coming to terms with who the ‘real’ Kayano is.

MASTERLIST

[carewyncromwell]

Back with another installment of the POTC AU...and we have entered mermaid (and men) waters, folks. These two lovely creatures are Merman!Kai Williams and Mermaid!Keira Jones, owned by @hphm-brooke, based on their designs here, but with more of the “fishy” look the mermaids have while underwater in Pirates 4! (They look much more like Brooke’s concepts, when they’re above water.) I hope I did your kids justice, cherie! Yes, I know this visual logically doesn’t work at all as neat as it looks, since Carewyn should be drowning if there’s a hole in the ship she can see through: I was stupid and half asleep when I originally drew this, but I went ahead and conjured up an explanation for it for the actual writing section, so indulge me. XD;;

Some LGBT+ headcanons of mine for the HPHM cast are also featured here -- namely, McNully as gay, Skye as lesbian, and Charlie as aroace. (I also personally see Carewyn and Orion as ace/pan and gray-A, respectively. ^.^) Feel free to ignore them if you see these characters differently than I do...goodness knows I understand why plenty of people would want to hook up with Charlie!! He can always be interpreted as demi, gray-A, or just a late bloomer here too, if thou dost prefer. <3

For the previous part of this AU, click here -- for the full POTC AU tag, click here -- otherwise, enjoy! And beware any siren song you may hear...

x~x~x~x

The Revenge was an even more oppressive prison than it was when Carewyn was a child. Charles Cromwell had always been a very controlling, cruel man who only saw someone’s value based on what they could do for him. Even when you were family of his -- or, one could argue, especially if you were -- you were expected to never say “no” to him and to always put his desires over your own. So it was when she and Jacob were under his control way back when, and so it was now that Carewyn was alone.

Interestingly, despite Charles’s clear disdain for Carewyn having become a Commodore of the Navy, he actually seemed very coldly pleased by how she’d grown.

“The Navy may be a pathetic institution,” Charles said very coolly as he strode leisurely in a circle around Carewyn, “but at least fighting in the War toughened you up. You’re strong -- ruthless -- talented in swordplay and willing to do whatever it takes to defeat your enemies. You’ve been taught and trained to kill.”

He stopped right in front of her, his cold almond-shaped blue eyes boring into her as his lips spread into a smile.

“You are far from the weak, bleeding-heart little girl you were before, Carewyn. Before, you could only be useful in persuading other men to join my crew -- now, once we’ve finished at Isle de Muerta...you’ll be able to join your aunts by doing that and helping us with our plunder.”

Carewyn’s eyes, which were the same color and shape as Charles’s, met his gaze head-on with just as much coldness, but with no hint of a smile.

“I have no intention of being anything like Pearl or Claire,” she spat, “least of all by being one of your pawns.”

Pearl made a violent move forward, but Blaise grabbed her arm and gave her a dull warning look.

“Pawns?” repeated Charles. “I’m wounded, child. We are family -- we are blood. I raised you and your brother. I provided for you.”

“After killing both Mum and Dad right in front of us,” Carewyn said very coldly.

Charles feigned an empathetic expression, but it only came across as incredibly condescending.

“Yes -- it was a horrible thing. But your parents thought to abandon the crew, our family...to take you two children away from me, your grandfather, who loves you so dearly. And deserters and traitors must be held accountable -- any good leader knows that. It’s awful that it had to happen...but they left me no choice.”

Carewyn’s eyes flashed with hatred.

“First of all...our parents thought to protect their family -- Jacob and me -- from you. Second, any good leader knows that true loyalty is accrued through respect, not fear. Third, you always have a choice to do what’s right, and you didn’t. Fourth, I will NOT hear you try to tell me that my parents brought their deaths upon themselves when you pulled the trigger. And fifth...”

She took a step forward, aiming to get right up in Charles’s face -- Claire Cromwell grabbed her harshly by the arm and held her back, but Carewyn was strong enough to push herself forward right up into her grandfather’s personal space anyway.

“...you don’t know what love is,” hissed Carewyn venomously.

Charles’s face lost all hint of a smile or warmth, instead becoming oddly mask-like and detached as he considered her. The stillness was far, far more intimidating than his attempts at pleasantry -- it was like he truly felt nothing...like all possibility of persuasion or appealing to his better instincts was hopeless.

“It seems freedom has spoiled you, my child,” he said softly. “I suppose I’d have to blame your brother for being such a bad influence on you...at least while he was still alive.”

Carewyn’s face blanched and her eyes widened. ‘What?’

“Oh?” said Charles, raising his eyebrows in mock concern. “Were you unaware? I thought for sure something would’ve trickled back to you through the Navy. But I suppose if they had told you, you’d have had far less reason to be loyal to them. After all...the pirate who killed him ended up getting a full pardon from the crown, and now works alongside the new Lord Cutler Beckett at the East India Trading Company...a thoroughly prosperous woman, by all accounts.”

Charles’s face again grew much mask-like as he stared down at Carewyn.

“One would never know such a woman could be capable of shooting a man square in the back and then pushing him overboard into the ocean...and just when he’d returned from Port Royal, to find that his sister was gone...”

Carewyn could feel her shoulders quaking. Her eyes had fallen away from Charles and down to the deck a while ago, as she struggled to contain her emotions, but what he said --

It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be. Jacob, dead -- Jacob, having gone to look for her, and not finding her because she’d gone off to War -- Jacob, being murdered right after he tried to come home --

“You’re lying!” snarled Carewyn, but her voice quaked with pain and grief despite her best efforts.

Charles didn’t answer. Clearly he didn’t think he had to. The silence was infinitely worse than if he’d chosen to mock her further -- it forced her to solely focus on the terrible doubt and pain flooding her chest and making it hard for her to breathe.

Charles’s gaze flickered up to Claire still holding Carewyn’s arm.

“Get Carewyn out of that Navy filth and into some proper clothes,” he said almost boredly. “Make sure to pick something that shows off her assets -- she comes from fine breeding, and we want the men of Tortuga to see that first.”

His gaze then rested on Carewyn again, twinkling with a cruel kind of satisfaction, as Claire yanked Carewyn away. Carewyn fought against her grip, but before she could pull out of it, Pearl grabbed her other arm and, with considerably more strength, helped Claire drag her away.

Carewyn was soon forced into a pair of men’s knee breeches so tight that they felt more like form-fitting stockings than trousers; tall black boots; an off-white sailor’s shirt identical to Pearl’s with such an oversized neckline that her chest was largely exposed; and an R-standard dark red coat just small enough that she couldn’t button it around herself to hide her chest better. Pearl had also pointed a pistol at Carewyn’s neck while Claire applied eye-make-up and bright red lipstick. Carewyn normally wouldn’t have minded wearing make-up -- she may have had to dress like a man out of necessity, but she liked women’s fashion a lot. Under the circumstances, though, it was impossible to enjoy it.

Needless to say, Carewyn was in no mood to take orders from Charles or exchange so much as a word with any member of his crew, whether it was her uncle, aunts, cousins, or in-laws. At one point, one night, one of those such cousins -- clearly very amused by how unhappy Carewyn was with her new “look” -- decided to try to force himself into her personal space, and Carewyn was so disgusted that she grabbed his own pistol out of his belt and pointed it right at his head to threaten him to back off. Rather than scare him, though, the cousin merely laughed.

“Go ahead!” he jeered. He clearly thought Carewyn was too much of a “good girl” to do it. “Go ahead and shoot me. Right in the head, come on -- ”

Carewyn pointed the pistol down at his thigh instead and fired.

BANG.

The younger man collapsed in on himself with a cry as his leg collapsed out from under him, the bone clearly blasted open from how close the pistol had been. Carewyn then gave the pistol a light shake to clear the smoke.

“Seems to me that place is closer to where you do most of your thinking than your head,” she said very coldly. She looked around at the rest of the crew, who’d stopped to watch, and added, “Now, all of you, stay away from me -- AHH!”

She suddenly felt a hand seize her around the neck and hoist her up off the ground.

The younger man somehow was back on his feet again, as if he hadn’t been injured at all. Carewyn’s shock only seemed to make him smugger still, even though his smile was oddly humorless.

“You’re so cute, little Winnie,” he said. “Thinking you can hurt somebody who feels nothing but pain already.”

At that very moment, the clouds parted, to reveal an eerie silver-white moon. And it was in that terrible, paralyzing moment that Carewyn saw why everyone said that the crew of the Revenge was cursed.

It seems that the medallion Jacob had stolen from Charles’s office wasn’t just a pirate trinket. It was one of 100 identical pieces from a cursed chest that once belonged to Cortez himself. Anyone who stole but one piece from the chest was cursed trapped between life and death, unable to enjoy any earthly pleasure -- food, drink, or otherwise -- with their true decaying form only revealed under moonlight. Jacob had taken the medallion with the thought that Carewyn could always sell it if they ever got really desperate for money -- Carewyn had kept it because it was one of the only things Jacob had ever been able to give her before he disappeared, and she cursed herself eternally for the sentiment now. Still, she told herself, it also hadn’t seemed safe to try to sell something that so clearly looked like a pirate medallion anyway -- just about anyone would ask where she got it, and that would’ve opened her up to a million more questions. In either case, that medallion Carewyn had was the last piece that Charles Cromwell needed to break the curse -- and thanks to her fame as the newest Commodore in the Navy, one of her portrait miniatures had found its way into Charles’s hands, revealing to him where his granddaughter had vanished to. And now he had both her and the medallion -- in short, everything he’d wanted.

Charles Cromwell decided to punish Carewyn for her little act of defiance by locking her in the brig. It was a very wet and mildew-stained place -- clearly it had been host to more than a few leaks. One hole in Carewyn’s cell in particular even showed clear blue ocean water -- she suspected that the Revenge had been patched up with quite a few spells to keep it from sinking, over the years. She remembered there was a witch on Tortuga that her grandfather sometimes made deals with -- maybe she’d given him something to keep the sea water from rushing in.

Carewyn could’ve easily broken out of the brig, but under the circumstances, she decided it wasn’t worth it. Not only did she not want to show off all her tricks yet, but the cell door would at least serve as a barrier between her and everyone else, for now. And that was what she’d wanted -- to get as far away from them as she could. Jacob would’ve understood. Jacob had always been there as a protective wall between her and the rest of their family, in the past...

The night in that cell was one of the coldest, darkest, and loneliest of Carewyn’s life. Her heart ached at the thought of Jacob -- of Percy, his face white with upset and terror when she told him to retreat -- of Bill and Charlie -- of Jules. She missed them so much, and yet she knew...she would likely never see them again. Charles Cromwell wouldn’t tolerate her insubordination for long, and if she failed to escape -- rather likely, considering that neither he nor the rest of her family could be killed, at this point -- she’d be murdered just like her parents.

...At least then...she’d see Jacob again...

She didn’t know when or how she’d fallen to sleep, but it was in her sleep, when she was most lonely, that Carewyn found herself again in her and Jacob’s tiny, old house in Port Royal, sitting at the side of her own bed, which currently held a young man with a worn brown bandana around his head, a black eye, and bandages around his arms. He looked up at her, his dark eyes rippling like the darkest sea -- and then, he rose from the bed. As he did, he changed, becoming older, with tanner skin and dreadlocks under an emerald green bandana. Orion didn’t say anything in the dream -- instead he held her gaze, drowning her in it as he gently held her hands in his...

When Carewyn awoke, she found her face wet with tears. Wiping her face clean, she sat awake for a while, revisiting Orion in her mind. As bizarre as it sounded -- just like he had many times in the past -- the thought of Orion seemed to bring her a sense of peace and focus she couldn’t quite explain. And it was for that reason that she found herself singing one of the songs she used to sing Orion to sleep, all those years ago...for the thought of him, if not for the man himself.

Abroad, as I was walking one evening in the spring,

I heard a maid in Bedlam who mournfully did sing.

Her chains she rattled on her hands, and thus replied she:

"I love my love because I know my love loves me.

Oh, cruel were his parents who sent my love to sea,

And cruel was the ship that bore my love from me --

Yet I love his parents since they’re his, although they've ruined me...

I love my love because I know my love loves me.” 

As luck would have it, however, her song attracted some attention. For the waters surrounding the dreaded Isle de Muerta contained merfolk -- specifically a mermaid called Keira and a merman called Kai, who hunted as a pair and had heard Carewyn singing through the hole in the ship’s hull.

“Was that you singing?” asked Kai. He seemed the more sociable of the two -- the red-haired mermaid behind him called Keira was staying at a distance.

Carewyn rested a hand beside the hole, trying to peek out at who was speaking. She couldn’t see them very well, but from what little she could see, they didn’t look like how she’d always heard mermaids described. They appeared human enough on top, of course, but she could see scales on their faces and there was no white in their eyes. Kai had one completely brown eye and one completely blue eye, while Keira had completely blue.

“Yes,” said Carewyn.

“I could hear the longing in your voice,” said Kai. “Like a woman in love.”

Carewyn’s face flushed, but she kept as proud of an expression as she could manage.

“...Are you merfolk?”

“Why, yes,” said Kai with a smile. “And you? Are you a pirate? Or perhaps you’re a maid from Bedlam, awaiting her love’s return?”

“Neither. My name is Carewyn...but most people call me Carey Weasley.”

Keira looked at Carewyn through the hole, clearly interested despite her distance.

“You’re different than the other humans on this ship,” she said thoughtfully.

Carewyn scoffed. “I’d certainly hope so. I suppose my grandfather and his crew fear you?”

“Fear, yes,” said Keira in an oddly stiff voice, “but we don’t approach them.”

The memory of her disgusting pirate cousin as a molting skeleton rippled over Carewyn’s mind and she grimaced.

“...I don’t blame you for that. I wouldn’t be here either, if I had a choice.”

Kai raised a curious eyebrow. “You’re a prisoner, then.”

Carewyn sighed and nodded. Kai’s eyes flickered over to Keira before returning to Carewyn.

“...Perhaps we can get you out.”

Carewyn was startled. “What?”

Kai’s lips turned up in a smile. “Come with us...we’ll help you escape.”

It was strange -- Carewyn hadn’t known these two at all, but something in their voices sounded so kind. Despite everything she’d ever heard about sirens, they seemed oddly persuasive...it was like even they were singing beautifully, even while talking...

But...

“No,” she said. “My grandfather and his crew can’t be killed. I’d never be able to defeat them, while they’re like that...and anyone who tried to help me would be killed right along with me.”

Her eyes softened. “Thank you...but I have to stay here.”

Both Kai and Keira looked genuinely startled. Kai seemed to rest on his stomach in mid-air, his tail flopping up over his head as he rested his chin on his fist, his lips spreading in a much fuller, fanged smirk.

“...Well, now,” he said, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone saying ‘no’ to one of our kind in order to protect them before. He shared a glance with Keira. “You truly are different, Carey Weasley.”

Keira exhaled tiredly. “Come on, Kai...let’s go.”

“Coming, coming,” said Kai in amusement, as Keira began to swim off. He added to Carewyn, “Guess we’ll never know if we would’ve been able to tempt you, if we’d met you above water...oh well. Best of luck, little Bedlam maid -- thanks for the new song!”

Kai swam in a circle to follow along after Keira and disappeared into the dark blue depths.

Back on the Artemis, the days of their voyage dragged. Jules had heard all sorts of exciting stories about pirates since she was a child, but now that she was onboard a ship with them, she found that it was far less glamorous than one would think. There was so little to do to pass the time, aside from trimming sails or swabbing decks. Charlie and Bill admitted that was a lot of what sailing on board ships was like in general -- there was plenty of excitement, sure, but only inter-spliced briefly between long stretches of nothing. On top of that, the water on board went sour before long, making it so everyone had to drink rum instead, since it was the only drink that didn’t go bad at sea. The best thing by far for Jules, though, was that there was no dress code -- and so she ditched her fancy dress as quick as she could, traded them in for a pair of men’s breeches, and then belted her chemise around her waist so that it fit more tightly like a shirt. She’d be a little embarrassed walking around in her underwear for a while, but after a while, she concluded it really wasn’t any more revealing than the loose-fitting shirt and men’s breeches Skye was wearing. Bill’s ears turned a very dark red when he first saw Jules out of her dress, though.

Their first real burst of action came when they had to battle a torrential storm that had blown in. The Artemis had been tossed about as if it were a toy in a bathtub, sea water splashing onto the deck with full-bodied waves that could knock a man off their feet. It was likely only thanks to Orion’s bizarre idea to tie everyone securely to the mast with a long piece of rope that served as a life line that no one was thrown overboard. The following day, the storm had fortunately cleared to leave an almost surreal calm. Soon everyone returned to the boring routine of before, mending torn sails and swabbing the deck, as if nothing had even happened.

The helmsman solely followed Orion’s direction of where to go, rather than using a map, so Bill, Jules, and Charlie had assumed he already knew where the Isle de Muerta was. One could therefore imagine how horrified Bill was overhearing McNully talking offhandedly to Orion one afternoon about his compass “not working right for him” -- Jules recalled that it didn’t work at Port Royal either. When the three confronted Orion about it, the Captain responded rather cryptically.

“Lieutenant Weasley said that my compass didn’t point north, Miss Farrier. That doesn’t mean it’s broken.”

Orion turned on his heel and headed back up to the helm. “A bit more to starboard.”

Bill opened his mouth to protest, but McNully climbed down one of the loose ropes enough to pat his shoulder.

“Easy, Mr. Weasley.”

He lowered himself back down into his chair and rolled it around to properly face them.

“The Captain’s compass isn’t like most compasses -- just like Orion himself isn’t like most captains.”

“But you said it wasn’t working right,” Charlie said angrily. “And all he ever seems to look at is that compass. How do we know we’re even heading the right way? Does he even know how to get to Isle de Muerta at all?”

Jules had to admit, she had doubts too. Orion had sounded pretty confident that he’d be able to find Carewyn -- but how could anyone do that, when they didn’t even have a compass that could point north?

The dispute was interrupted, however, when Orion abruptly called out from the helm.

“Put out the lamps!”

The crew immediately tensed up, and bolted around, putting out every lamp. Jules looked around in confusion.

“What are you doing?” she asked. “It’s almost dusk -- we won’t be able to see!”

“The water is darker and colder here,” said Orion solemnly, “and there’s a song on the air. The lamps would only antagonize them further.”

“‘Them?’“ recurred Jules.

“Mermaids, of course,” said Skye impatiently.

“Mermaids?”

“I heard those tales when we were all in the Navy,” said Bill, glancing at Jules a bit uneasily. “Mermaids are attracted to singing and lamplight.”

"Right,” said McNully. “There’s still a 32% chance they might show up even without those, though, so you’d best keep your wits about you.”

Skye nodded. “Mermaids are no joke. They might look beautiful above water, but they don’t look half so pretty under the water when they pull you down to the depths and eat you alive.”

Jules cringed.

“If they’re that dangerous,” she said slowly, “why don’t you do what Odysseus did, to escape the sirens? Just have someone else tie you up really tightly on the mast, and you can’t jump overboard.”

“Yeah!” Charlie piped up. “I reckon Jules, Skye, and I can handle running the ship for a bit on our own -- pretty faces don’t really do much for me.”

McNully laughed. “If being attracted to gorgeous women was the problem, then I’d be a better choice to help than Skye.”

Skye rolled her eyes and scoffed.

“Mermaids don’t just tempt you with sex,” the quartermaster explained. “They’re temptation itself. Everything about them draws you in, makes you open up to them and talk to them...lets them look right through you. They’ll try to tempt you with whatever they think you want most in the world -- and when you give in and get too close...”

She made a knife-like gesture across her throat with her finger.

“There’s only one person on this ship that’s known to have ever said ‘no’ to a mermaid before,” said McNully, and he nodded up at the helm. “And that’s the Captain.”

Bill, Charlie, and Jules all looked up in surprise. Orion had his back to them and was looking out to sea with narrowed, unreadable eyes.

Then, all of a sudden, the crew could just barely make out a eerie, beautiful song, which seemed to float on the wind itself.

“...her chains she rattled in her hands and thus replied she...”

“Stopper your ears!” McNully said urgently. “Quickly!”

The crew hurriedly did as they were told. Orion, however, did not do so. Instead he darted down to the main deck, grabbed one of the lanterns, and set about relighting it.

“Orion, what are you DOING?!” bellowed Skye.

Orion didn’t answer her. McNully rolled hurriedly around the deck as he tried to make sure everyone blocked their ears, but Orion completely ignored him, instead rushing over to the side of the ship with the lit lantern.

The singing was getting louder now.

“Yet I love his parents since they’re his, although they've ruined me... I love my love because I know my love loves me...”

Just as Bill had finished helping Charlie and Jules completely stopper their ears, he caught the sound of a low male voice singing the next line.

“With straw I'll weave a garland, I'll weave it wondrous fine...”

Bill looked up in alarm at Orion. He had a hand cupped over his mouth to magnify his volume as he sang over the ship’s railing.

“With roses, lilies, daisies I'll mix the eglantine...”

“Stop!”

Bill barreled over, grabbing Orion’s shoulder and trying to pull him back away from the edge.

“What are you doing?! Singing and lanterns attract mermaids!”

“That’s the plan,” said Orion, his voice almost frustratingly calm.

Bill saw the water burbling up beside the edge of the ship. His heart clenched with fear.

Orion, however, paid him no mind -- he turned right to the form burbling under the water, his hand beside his mouth again as he continued,

“And I'll present it to my love when he returns from sea... I love my love because I know my love loves me."

Jules quickly grabbed Bill’s arm, pulling him back away from Orion. Bill looked at her anxiously, but she merely reached up to stopper his left ear with some fabric she’d ripped out of her chemise. Orion wasn’t going to explain, so all they could do is get ready.

Within moments, a woman with red hair had appeared out of the water. Her chin and neck were still largely submerged as she blinked up at Orion.

“You know the words,” she said almost shyly.

“Yes,” said Orion. “Where did you hear that song?”

The mermaid blinked slowly. “A maid imprisoned in the brig of a pirate ship.”

Jules had been just about to stopper Bill’s right ear when he straightened up sharply. He turned his head sharply to better listen to the conversation.

"What did the maid look like?” Orion asked.

The mermaid’s eyes flickered over the pirate captain’s face carefully as she eased her head and shoulders out of the water.

“I could not tell for sure. The brig was dark. The hole looking into it was small.”

“Yet you spoke to her?”

“Yes. She was a selfless woman. Very selfless.”

“When did you see her?”

“Very early this morning...before dawn.”

Orion’s dark eyes narrowed. The mermaid reached out to grab onto the edge of the Artemis so as to slide herself out of the water and closer to Orion.

“You know her,” she said.

“Yes,” Orion answered quietly.

The mermaid’s eyes seemed to soften. “...You love her.”

Bill, who had been listening carefully, looked quickly at Orion’s face for some sort of reaction -- but once again his face was remarkably calm, and he didn’t respond.

“I could take you to her,” the mermaid said sweetly. “I know where she is...”

Bill felt his mind drifting slightly, as if he’d suddenly become very sleepy -- her voice sounded almost soothing -- and she knew Carewyn? She could take them to Carewyn?

“No, thank you,” said Orion with the kind of polite finality one would more likely hear at a Christmas function than to a creature that wanted to eat human flesh. “If you saw her this morning, we’ll be caught up with them soon enough. The wind will take us where we need to go, if only we have our sails pointed in the right direction.”

He inclined his head respectfully.

“Best of luck finding your next meal elsewhere.”

The mermaid frowned in immense confusion at him, looking almost put-out.

“You and Carey Weasley are both very strange humans,” she said. Her lips then curled into a faintly wry smile as she added, “She was not tempted by our call either. That should please you.”

And with that, she splashed back into the dark water and disappeared.

Orion blew out the flame on the lamp and turned back around.

“It’s all right now!” he bellowed loud enough that everyone could just barely make out his voice through the stuffing in their ears. “It’s safe!”

Everyone little by little unblocked their ears. Bill turned around to face Orion properly, his brown eyes rippling with amazement and a bit of guilt despite himself, as the pirate captain walked past him.

“You did know what you were doing.”

Orion turned to Bill. The eldest Weasley rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I misjudged you.”

Orion inclined his head slightly to Bill, his lips touched with traces of a smile.

“A common enough thing, for people to do,” he said patiently. “Think nothing of it.”

He strolled back up to the helm, leaving Bill and Jules alone.

Jules turned to Bill. He still had his eyes on Orion’s back.

“Bill...is everything okay?”

Bill glanced at Jules and then back up at Orion, and he swallowed.

The mermaid had said Orion loved Carewyn. He didn’t make any kind of reaction that would prove it was true -- but he didn’t deny it either. And more importantly, back at the church, he’d said he wouldn’t have hurt “either Bill’s or his lady,” when talking about Jules and Carewyn. And immediately after, he spoke of Carewyn’s past, of her history with him...of details even he didn’t know, like her apparently having worn a red ribbon in her hair since she was little...with such a soft voice that it wouldn’t be a stretch to think there was something fond in it, under that detached affect..

Bill hadn’t had a real friend in his life until he’d met Carewyn. They’d connected almost immediately out of their mutual desire to protect and nurture others, and they always seemed to be in sync whenever they had to battle together. Bill had always been a shoulder for others to cry on, but it was Carewyn who had first offered her shoulder to him, while they were fighting the Spanish together. The friendship and caring she’d shown him made her family to him more than her using his name alone ever could have. She was a sister to him -- his best mate -- someone he loved and cherished like few others in the world. And he wanted every happiness for her, just as he knew she did for him...

But what happiness could there be for her, with Orion? He was a pirate. There’d be no way the Navy would pardon him with the East India Trading Company breathing down their necks -- and would Carewyn truly be happy living the life of a pirate, after having been raised on a pirate ship like the Revenge? She’d built up a stable life for herself in the Navy, and Bill knew how much Carewyn loved being able to come back to Port Royal after a long expedition -- to come home, after being at sea. But pirates had no home. There was nothing anchoring a pirate. And no matter what Orion’s feelings were, and how much Bill suspected they might actually be something genuine...it didn’t mean a thing if Carewyn didn’t feel the same way.

“Jules...” he said at last, very quietly, “...is Carey...in love with Amari?”

Jules was startled by the use of her nickname. She glanced from Bill to up at Orion at the helm and back, frowning deeply. 

“...Love, I’m not sure, but...back at the fort, before Captain Amari rescued me...Carey told me that she’d bandaged him up and hidden him from the Navy, when they were young. So when Captain Amari figured out who she was...he let her go. I reckon they probably just made it look like Carey broke free.”

This information startled Bill. His brown eyes brightened in understanding.

“He owed her a life debt,” he said softly.

Jules smiled. “No. I thought the same thing -- that it was gratitude, on Captain Amari’s part. But...”

Her dark eyes softened.

“...Carey said...that he was simply a good man. And I don’t know...but the look in her eyes, as she looked out to sea...I’ve never seen her eyes look like that before.”

She reached out and took Bill’s hand. Bill gave it a squeeze.

“The water temperature has returned to normal,” announced Orion from the helm, emptying the bucket of sea water he’d filled earlier over the side. “Go ahead and relight the lamps -- we should approach Isle de Muerta within the next day or so.”

[bigskydreaming]

Tim Drake apparently threw ‘zero tantrums’ after being replaced as Robin, ‘unlike Dick.’

Sigh.

This is why I hate fanon sometimes. People honestly actually believe this stuff, and have no problem rounding off emotional reactions to their most extreme limit, so anyone who doesn’t know any better just walks away with the interpretation that Dick is just a big ball of childish fury and no emotional control, and Tim is just the coolest of the cool cucumbers.

Dick threw exactly ‘one tantrum’ after being replaced without warning, reason or explanation given, with the mantle HE and he alone established. And it was AT BRUCE, the person actually responsible, NOT Jason, and you wanna know the funny thing? Check out that issue. Check out how BRUCE responds. Dick comes in and is pissed, sure, but BRUCE is the one who loses his shit and breaks something just for the hell of it, cuz like, it’s just so infuriating that he has to have a conversation about feelings I guess. But does anyone talk about that? Does anybody ever examine whether Dick’s oh so infamous temper might come from being raised by a man who is his example of what to be like, and who apparently is capable of losing his shit any time someone asks him to actually emote? Naaaaaah.

And then we have Tim, who after being replaced in a TOTALLY different manner, with Dick standing there giving him compliments instead of criticism, and yeah sorry to break it to people, but Tim absolutely did get pissed too! And he stormed out of the cave while Dick was literally standing there begging him not to go, saying he NEEDED him, and Tim’s just like yeah well whatever dude and fucks off out of Gotham for a year, which yes, was because he was looking for proof Bruce was alive, but the willful refusal to pick up the phone and reassure Dick every time the latter called him to check up on him (because it wasn’t like Dick had just lost his second father too, and was likely terrified of losing his remaining family, especially when he didn’t even know where they were but knew wherever it was, it was likely dangerous)....yeah Tim refuses to ever talk to him that year even to reassure him he’s still okay, purely out of spite, and Dick has to resort to asking Tim’s friends to check up on him for him.....but none of this is Tim throwing a tantrum, unlike Dick??

Ugh.

See this is why I will never be over the myth of Dick’s temper. Fanfics and headcanons and meta all act like he’s so above and beyond the rest of his family and teams in terms of fury and lack of emotional control or maturity, when every single member of his family and most of his teammates exhibit the same (and often GREATER) displays of temper and ‘irrationality’ just as often as he does, if not more....it’s just NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT THEIR DISPLAYS OF TEMPER. No, everybody acts like they just don’t exist, didn’t happen, or if they did, they were just fully justified unlike Dick’s, whose are never justified, somehow.

And so Dick winds up with this reputation of being over the top angry at the drop of a hat, even though he’s also the ONE member of the family with a reputation as a people person that everyone likes and finds charming....which uh....doesn’t mesh with a guy that loses his cool at just about anything, especially with how often members of his family and teams and just the general public DO give him shit and habitually and casually insult his name, his costumes, his sex life, his circus background, his heritage, his status in the family and anything else they can think of lololol.

But meanwhile, his poor suffering family has to weather Dick’s many temper tantrums while NEVER exhibiting the same, and definitely never at his expense. It’s not like Dick is the only member of the family who has literally been punched in anger by EVERY SINGLE OTHER MEMBER OF HIS FAMILY EXCEPT CASS.....but nobody ever mentions that, do they? That Bruce, Jason, Tim, Damian....all of them have lost their cool with Dick and punched him to shut him up or make themselves feel better or just express RAWR IM SO MAD AT YOU.....but has Dick ever done the same with Damian or Tim? Just Bruce based on Bruce’s example, and Jason when he was actively shooting at him or others or presenting himself as some kind of active threat.

All of which i will never say is ideal and I wish hadn’t happened and I’m not defending Dick doing those things, I’m simply pointing out the double standard in how all of those things are brought up time and time again as Exhibit A of Dick’s temper and flaws, but how many people even KNOW that Tim has punched Dick, if they haven’t read that issue themselves? How many people hear about that fight between Dick and Donna back in the day, and walk away sure it was all Dick’s fault and he was an asshole for it, and never learn that Donna started it, said equally cruel things to him, refused to leave when he TRIED to de-escalate it and say he wasn’t in the right attitude to be having this particular conversation right now, and oh yeah, in response to what he said to her, SHE punched him through a WALL. And oh yeah Dick was also brainwashed at the time but lol what does that matter, context is for other Batfam members lol.

So yeah. This is why I hate fanon sometimes, because sometimes fanon is kinda a lying asshole about canon and to such an extent that everyone who doesn’t read canon (which is a large part of this particular fandom) writes all their fics and comments and posts based on the interpretation that everything they’ve heard about Dick from equally biased fans of other characters is totally true and accurate and we wind up with this fandom wide perception that Dick and Dick alone has anger management issues and he really just needs to cool it, unlike his family and friends, who are all just rational, collected cool, cool cucumbers even in the most emotional of situations.

[kittybellestark]

Hi guys I’m nearly at 100 followers so I think it’s time we discuss something important. I know I’ll probably lose followers for posting this but I think it needs to be said. I’m not going to add any tags and I don’t want any of y’all to get the wrong idea here, okay? So please read this through. I’m not trying to hurt anyone or come after them. I just want to give my personal opinion on this topic because as much as love the Irondad fandom and all the work here, there is a lot of drama too.

So let’s talk about Starker for a second.

First things first. I do not ship starker.

Obviously our fandom is most based on mcu canon. Where Peter is a minor throughout the universe and still is. I know that he is technically 21 in ffh and endgame, but we know because of ffh, that those who were snapped are still considered minors. (Flash ordering alcohol on the plane and them not serving him when it became known he was snapped)

For those who aren’t mcu but comic shippers, while I’m not certain on all the universes, I know there are a few where Peter is a full grown adult, so maybe he met Tony as an adult too. I’m not sure. Obviously that is a different story then mcu, so I’m not going to touch on that.

I personally do not ship the idea of Peter and Tony being together romantically or sexually. I don’t want them together or hope for them being together. I don’t think they’d be good together either.

But on that note, not everyone who writes or reads starker fanfic ships them. They are aware that it is wrong. Dark fics exist, non-con fics exist. For those who have followed me and read my work they know I canon that Skip sexually abused Peter at some point. There’s a rape scene in Peter Parker Went Silent, Straightening Things Out’s plot revolves around this unhealthy non-consensual relationship that Peter doesn’t feel he can escape because Skip is in a relationship with May. I don’t ship Peter/Skip but I use it to work through trauma and to create stories that others will read.

There are also so many people who are anti-starker but will also ship spideypool. Again another minor/adult situation. I know it’s canon established that Peter and Tony have a father-son relationship as it’s been confirmed multiple times over by RDJ and Tom Holland. But guys. Spideypool. In the MCU (as he is to be introduced soon, Ryan Reynolds is on the cast list for Dr Strange) DeadPool is an adult.

Again though, if you’re shipping based on comics where they are introduced as adults it’s a different story.

But to get back to my point, as writers we use these characters to project sometimes. I’ve projected on Peter in nearly all the fics and headcanons I’ve written. I’ve read dark fics too. At the end of the day it’s all art. People still read Lolita and the Handmaids Tale and all these other actual published works of fiction that have these terrible no good, should never be shipped relationships.

As a writer I use Peter to explore myself. He is based off what I am feel at any given time. While most of the things that I write about Peter don’t actually happen to me in real life, I use those situations I’ve written to deal with what has happened to me.

So maybe the people who write and read starker are also working through things. Maybe as a minor they were in an unhealthy relationship with an adult who should have known better. And maybe they see Peter and think ‘this character is relatable to him and I am processing things so this is what I will write about.’

The beauty of this app is we don’t know the people behind the screen.

I don’t ship Starker. I will never write starker. I don’t read Starker. Because I use mcu Peter and Tony and it makes me uncomfy.

We don’t know these other people. We cannot judge them. And we should never ever be rude and use words that can harm someone else, especially when we don’t know. We will never know what the writer is going through so we shouldn’t judge them.

If people actually, genuinely want Peter and Tony in and actual sexual and romantic relationship, that bothers me. But people who are writing things just to write and expand their abilities as a writer, or someone reading something because it shows up on their feed? I’m not going to attack them for it.

I don’t like Starker. I don’t ship it. People who do genuinely want them together sets off a red flag for me, especially when it’s mcu. To me it’s like wanting Lolita and Frank La Salle. Or June and Fred.

But guys. Not once have I ever been attacked for writing about Peter being assaulted by Skip. No one has sent me hate messages or wished the worst on me for writing Straightening Things Out, where Peter literally thinks Skip is helping him and doing the right thing. Not once have I felt unwelcomed to this fandom because I use Skip where another writer might use Tony instead.

So please, please do not wish harm on others. You can have your opinions. That is okay. We all have them. But don’t jump to conclusions that you don’t have any information of other than a tag. People pay and consume dark media, here people don’t pay and consume or write dark media.

I know it’s easy because you can’t see the other person. But please think before you post because sometimes ya’ll are saying things that are uncalled for.

I’m not condoning minor/adult relationships in real life. That is pedophilia and if you are a minor please know that adult who is telling you how mature you are and how much they love spending time with you and wants to be in a relationship doesn’t have your best interests at heart. No adult should ever call you hot or be turned on by you. A 22 year old should never be attracted to a 14 year old or 17 year old. That relationship is not consensual and please please please find an adult who can get you out of an unsafe relationship. And also a 14 year old and a 16 or 17 year old in a relationship genuinely a problem. Adults know relationships with minors are wrong. Even large age gaps in relationships can be extremely unhealthy

Leonardo DiCaprio never dating anyone over the age of 25, and knowing his last girlfriend since she was a minor for example. That is obviously very unhealthy pedophilic and of course grooming. Hugh Hefner having wives that are so much younger than him too. That’s not healthy, it’s scary.

But for those of you who have been in those situations as I know way too many people who when we were in highschool were in relationships with adults, you are allowed to write about it with any character you want, however you want. If you’re a person who hasn’t ever been in a relationship like that but wanting to expand on things you write and learn new skills to see if you can properly convey what is happening in a relationship such as Peter/Tony, you can do that too.

Wanting Peter and Tony together is the red flag, writing Peter and Tony together because you’re a writer and it’s hard to write a relationship where it’s obviously not healthy and Peter doesnt see the problem with it? That’s just writing. There’s trigger warnings and tags.

But let’s also be aware for those of us who canon Peter being Bi, there is also a pretty good chance that Tony Stark™️ was Peter’s sexual awakening. Like before he ever met Tony. I was 12 and in love with older male celebrities, it’s just a reality and maybe this was something that happening with Peter, it’s fiction who knows.

And on an unrelated thought if this irondad thing was real life we wouldn’t be romanticizing it. If this was Elon Musk who took on a personal intern, despite not being known for that, the intern is a child still in highschool, gets picked up from school by Elon to go to Tesla 3 days a week and then sleeps over at his house on weekends we would all be scarred. We would either think oh this child is Elon’s family, or we would think omg Elon is a sexual predator. Irondad is a weird thing for us to like. It is. We wouldn’t like it very much in real life. That’s a fact. But we are projecting. As writers and readers it’s what we do.

At the end of the day this is fiction and fan fiction. I’m not going to attack someone for liking something I don’t. I’m a full grown adult it makes my adult brain feel weird about the whole situation. That’s me. When I was in highschool I read adult/minor relationships even though I knew they were wrong and unhealthy because that’s what would show up on my dash. If any of my followers read/write starker it’s their business not my own, they like what they like and I like what I like. We interpret things differently and that’s okay.

Please stop attacking people, especially when you don’t have the full story. And also someone expressing their dislike to a ship isn’t an attack on those who do ship the relationship. So take a moment and breathe and think before posting anything.

To reiterate: this is just my opinion on things. Ships are complicated. I’m not trying to attack anyone or saying all people who write/read starker are doing it because they have trauma, there are many different reasons why a person may do so. There are also many different reasons why someone might ship starker. I don’t know these reasons but I don’t agree with the ship and that’s my own business. As a person who doesn’t ship starker I will never know some of these reasons and that’s okay. Just because I see shipping starker as a red flag doesn’t mean it is for everyone. Treat People With Kindness and please don’t attack or do anything that can be harmful just because someone’s views does not align with yours.

[ardenttheories]

I don't expect a super serious answer from this, but I'm just curious. in a perfect world, how would hs^2 be written? do you have any particular headcanons or plot lines that would be interesting to explore? I understand the hesitation in answering a question like this, because other people might try to discredit your critiques under the guise of "well its not ur headcanons so that's why ur mad". anyways, just curious because I respect your perspective and ideas

In complete honesty? The first thing I would consider vital is a diverse team of people - genuinely diverse - to consider every point of representation with. I’m talking people of different races (to avoid the anti-black coding of Gamzee), with mental illnesses (to avoid the ableism in both Gamzee and Dirk), with different gender identities (to more accurately and healthily portray Jade, Roxy, Vriska, June - any character we could feasibly want to make trans or nonbinary), with different romanticisms and sexualities (so that we could write genuine MLM and WLW relationships without falling into homophobic pitfalls; to avoid biphobic stereotypes), and overall, with different traumatic experiences and triggers (so that we could more accurately gauge what triggers would need to be tagged and how to go over them in an appropriate and respectful manner).

We could never be 100% perfect, but with a team like that, we could at least get close to it. 

Additionally, I’d bring back either fan prompts or closely listen to fan theories and conversations. Homestuck^2 was touted to be written with the fandom in mind; to consider the direction we were asking it to go in, while basing it around a general barebones structure. I’d want to make sure we were including as much of that in as humanly possible. So, if a fan theory seemed like it’d fit into the story? I’d want to include that with the rest of the text; if the fans liked a specific character? I’d want to try and include them more often. Little things to show that we’re listening and that we’re writing the story WITH the fans - like how early Homestuck used to be.

On an actual storyline basis, I really do love the concept of Meat and Candy; that there’s one timeline that goes off the rails and one that is very rigidly stuck to a track. I wouldn’t want to change that concept entirely, but I would want to make it more palpatable for people to read. 

This would mean, for me, absolutely getting rid of anything to do with Yiffany. I’d completely replace that with Dave and Jade having a child together via ectobiology; how Jade has to raise their child in Dave’s absence after he goes missing, how that affects her, who she turns to for comfort and help. 

I’d want to focus Candy more on that feeling of helplessness and dissociation. On John feeling adrift in a world that doesn’t quite connect with him, that doesn’t entirely feel real; how that would affect his relationships, his friends, his family. In this timeline, all of the rebellion stuff would be completely background to the interpersonal connections everyone has (the things that supposedly don’t matter, as is the point of Candy), with much more emphasis on how useless and frivolous the whole war is. It’d get to a point where nobody actually knows why they’re fighting anymore except for the fact that they are, and that even Jane, who started it out of a genuine fear for the human race, is getting tired of it, is losing resources, is starting to realise that she’s drifting away from her own child. 

A truce would be garnered, started by Jane who just very much wants to reconnect with her son, with Karkat taking on the role as troll emissiary. It features long talks in a large, empty room, pouring over papers, where Jane admits that she doesn’t actually know what anyone is up to these days, how long it’s been since she’s seen her husband, since she’s seen John, and Karkat quietly confesses that it’s been several years since he’s seen Dave or Jade, and that he misses them both. 

After that, a lot of the content of Candy would focus on healing. They would get back to their happily ever after, even though some things would never be the same, and there would still be inconsequentialities. It would also correspond with John coming to the slow realisation that he really doesn’t need a plot to be happy at all; that just because it doesn’t matter to the overarching story doesn’t mean it can’t matter to him. 

The Candy timeline, therefore, would close early; it would fade from our view just as Dirk feared, but it would be happy and content, and free from any further meddling. I’d essentially want to enforce this idea that, yes, we can still have happy endings - even if they aren’t “full of meaning”. They can still be satisfying.

The Meat timeline, on the other hand, would have a significant focus on Dirk and his attempts to continue the plot. I think it would be fun, admittedly, if nothing went the way he thought it would. That after all of his villany and his acceptance of destruction in order to facilitate something he thought would be better, he actually just lost complete and utter control. 

The plot isn’t something that he alone can continue. It’s created with character conflict, with motivations and rises and falls and losses and gains; trying to recreate SBURB, to try and restart the cycle, isn’t what a plot needs to be. It isn’t what he thinks it will do. 

I’m unsure if you’ve seen this recently, but there’s been a lot of fanwork around the Lord!Jake English idea that went around several years back (when people saw the Caliborn sona). Now, this I’d want to put into it. 

Jake, fed up with being stepped on, walked over, hurt, suffering from the trauma of being completely and utterly ruined by Dirk, absolutely flips shit. He chases after Dirk to seek revenge, to cut short whatever bullshit he’s trying to do, and therefore much of the comic becomes this constant back and forth with an increasing fear for Dirk the closer Jake gets as he traverses Paradox Space.

It’s very much clear that when Jake arrives, Dirk will lose. There’s no question about it. Nobody suggests that anything else will happen. There’s several arguments on Meat’s Earth C over whether or not they should try to stop Jake, or let him stop Dirk - and whether or not Jake will calm down afterwards or continue his rampage. 

In the end, Dirk fails. Jake catches up to him, and just before he hits the killing blow, the entire thing goes dark. Our narrator dead, the plot abandoned; there is nothing more to see. This I would want to use to enforce the idea that, yes, plot can still be satisfying as hell and still have integral moments and be heavy and harsh - but it can also end in a way that leaves open questions because that shows that it isn’t the best ending you can get. 

And then we jump back to Terezi, using her Seer powers. Both timelines have been her trying to use her powers to See what’s in store, where she should go, what she should do. She’s still floating through Paradox Space, looking for Vriska, and as such she’s met with this... sort of internal dilemma. 

She knows, now, that the chances of her dying out here are high. She also knows that even if she does survive, she’s pretty much never going to see Vriska again anyway. She knows there’s a chance at a happier relationship with John, and that the only way she can get that is if she somehow manages to make a timeline where Meat and Candy merge together at once. 

So, she flies back. She manages to arrive on Earth C the day of John’s big decision, and interrupts him before he can go to the picnic. Through their dialogue, John gets it stuck in his head that, hey, there’s something BIGGER out here that you need to do, but you need to do that amazing thing again where you make a third Choice.

When John arrives at the picnic, he decides to eat some of the pumpkin instead - to which you might be thinking, what pumpkin? The one he put there, of course, using his retcon powers.

So we start on the Pumpkin timeline, written entirely in the 1st person narrative from John’s POV. It’s a completely biased interpretation of what’s going on, but it’s honest to John’s own thoughts and feelings, too, allowing everyone to act the way they usually would do without any influence, but still having a narrative touch. 

It shows John actively fighting to free the timeline from Dirk’s and Alternate Calliope’s narrative controls, those little hooks they’ve planted in it since time began, with a lot of back-and-forth as the two talk to John through the narration (which, he hears their voices as thoughts in his head). 

John attempts to free them both from their own biases and chains, encouraging Alternate!Calliope to leave the space she’s isolated herself in and join Earth C while convincing Dirk to undo the bullshit villain schtick he’s on (and that plot or no plot, there’s still a reason worth living for). 

It’d be a timeline filled with references back to original Homestuck (and funny quips from both Alternate!Calliope and Dirk along the way), a lot of morality discussion, plenty of theorising on narrative control and arcs and the placement of plot and fluff in a satisfying story, and have plenty of representation and romance and hints towards kids, too (such as nonbinary RoxyJaneCallie, DaveJadeKat, aromantic Jake, JohnDirk [because I couldn’t stop myself, honestly, with how their Classpects work so well hand in hand], and definitely RoseMary being the first to adopt a child that they absolutely do not call Vriska). 

It’d fill plotholes the fandom wants to be filled, and it’d have drama, of course, in the form of figuring out a way to destroy Lord English that doesn’t inherently lead to the Candy timeline. But it’d go back and forth between the heavy, plot-filled moments and the slower, relationship-based moments, with more humanising and development of Dirk and Alternate!Calliope and John as rounded characters.

That’s the best my tired mind can come up with right now. It’s something I’ve daydreamed about a lot, actually; how I’d rewrite Homestuck^2, or what my own ending to Homestuck would be using it as a foundation. I hope it makes sense! It’s a fun little thought experiment, honestly.