#again sorry if i worded anything wrong im very fucking tired

[srjlvr]

,, 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT MY EX ’’

JUST when you thought your life couldn’t get any worse after your biggest break up of the year, someone posted your (very) much hateful list about your ex.

PAIRING. Ex!jake X Ex-fem!Reader

GENRE. fluff(look at me putting this first in genre) , angst , exes to lovers.

WARNINGS. y/n is kind of a bitch towards jake ig, jake is a big big player, lots of miscommunications, also very much not proofread!! i shall add more if i missed something!

WORD-COUNT. 7.8k+

NOTE. there we go again with this story cover, im outta here, graphics and me are not friends UGH i gotta start paying for someone to actually do this for me smh. anyways!! everything here is FICTIONAL!! i do NOT see jake nor any of the characters like that in any way!! if you don’t like it—youre very welcomed to skip!!

you thought you had your brightest future in your hands.

being an ace student, scoring A+ in all of your tests and winning the teacher’s favoritism, all of that while also being the most popular cheerleader of your school.

you’re literally living everyone’s dream, not only being a popular student, but also dating the most popular student who also happened to be your highschool’s basketball team leader, jake sim.

girls swoon for him, beg him to notice them, even go as far as to send him gifts that costs probably more than their own house, but no, his eyes search for one person and one person only, and that’d be you.

“i’m sorry, i can’t continue all of this”

“this? what do you mean—“

“i mean us, this relationship, i don’t think it’s going to work anymore”

“oh”

“that’s all you got to say?”

“do you expect me to cry and get on my knees, begging you to regret this?”

“what?”

“speechless now, are we? i’ve been waiting for this day”

denial was your best friend, and you might’ve realized it a bit too late.

you were hurt, fuck you wanted to break down and cry. but he doesn’t deserve to see that.

you ignored so many red flags in your relationship, you were lovesick and pathetic, all for him, it broke you apart. but you do not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

“y/n…”

“i don’t want to hear it jake, i’m actually glad you took this step”

you’re not glad at all, you do love him.

“i wish you the best” he said quietly and left.

this whole relationship felt like a mistake for the both of you, it was toxic, too toxic.

like those you see on TV shows where the popular girl and guy just date for fame and nothing more, yeah, just like that.

but you loved each other, you really did. communication was your biggest enemy, and that’s what lead to this whole toxic relationship mess.

“what a fucking asshole! it hasn’t even been a month and he’s already all over the girls! pathetic”

“yeji!”

your best friend rolled her eyes, “am i wrong? he was always a player”

you shook your head.

she wasn’t totally wrong, even before you started dating he used to hold a different girl in his hands every other day.

big player indeed.

you on the other hand, no matter how popular you were, you stayed reserved. many boys tried their luck, but it was no use.

though being reserved, you didn’t mind the looks the other boys gave you, and took every chance you had to show yourself off.

therefore it was so surprising to everyone that you and jake started dating.

the biggest player and the reserved popular girl, dating? this had to be a joke.

the truth is that jake had been keeping his eyes on you for long, and he knew that he has to hold you in his arms and show you that a player like him can actually love.

at first it took him time to break down your walls, but he did his best to assure you that he’ll never let anything bad happen to you.

that was….well, until he decided to break things off.

“yeah, he was, once a player, always a player” you agreed with her, glancing at jake and rolling your eyes when noticing that the girl he was flirting with is having too much fun.

“let’s just go, i’m tired of watching those clowns” you sighed and walked away.

“y/n! i’m sorry you had to witness….well—“

“it’s okay sunghoon, really”

before you and yeji could walk too far, sunghoon stopped you.

sunghoon is jake’s best friend, you and him weren’t the best at making conversation while you and jake were still together, but when you broke up, something changed between the two of you.

“don’t mind him, he can be a total asshole sometimes”

“sometimes?” yeji chuckled and sunghoon nervously scratched his nape.

“thank you sunghoon, i’m fine though” you gave him a weak smile and walked away.

“well if there’s one thing that’s good about jake is that his best friend is smoking hot and totally into you!!” yeji clapped her hands.

you rolled your eyes in disbelief, “yeji i don’t think you get it, he’s just being nice because he feels bad about his best friend acting like a dickhead”

“oh y/n, i can read face expressions, he’d definitely ask you out if only things weren’t so difficult”

“don’t push it!”

“that’s the ONLY good thing about jake though, i feel bad for that walking red flag, he’s so bad at keeping his relationships”

“i should make a list of things that i hate about him and send it to every girl in school so they’d know they need to run away from him!” you joked.

“i’d definitely help you, i’m sure as hell that it’ll make his ugly face vanish” she was joking as well.

you both were joking, you knew it very well.

so how the hell did you find yourself sitting in your room desk, writing a list about the things you hate about your ex?

“one, he’s smoking hot, his visuals can mess up your mind” you’re writing everything down as you’re saying them out loud.

complimenting him on your first point? way to go girl!

“two, he’s a big fat player, once your date is over he’s already probably running to find his next” you rolled your eyes to this one.

not even a month passed and he’s already flirting with others? what a loser!

“three, so full of himself! it actually hurts to see a person who loves himself so much he could probably die!”

that one time he wouldn’t stop talking about how many girls asked him out in one night? yickes!

“four, so toxic and possessive! don’t want you around any guy while he walks around and talks with any girl he sees”

when he got jealous that you spoke with your childhood friend about the most random thing ever? disgusting!

“five, puts milk before cereal, i don’t even need to explain!”

a walking red flag or what?

after finishing the rest five points you had to make, you decided to call it a night and drifted away to dreamland.

“psst”

“hm?”

“i know we were joking about the hateful list yesterday, but i actually made it”

“what?!”

you put your hand over yeji’s mouth and giggled.

“it just felt so good! i feel so relieved now! i don’t even want to post it, but it just felt so right to just let everything out”

“so proud of you, girl! finally let it go and move on!!” she pat your shoulder and then proceeded to hug you.

“where did you hide that list?” she raised her brow.

“i just brought it with me today, i put it in my locker and i’ll probably burn it by the end of the day, i just wanted to show it to you first before i do it”

“now that’s my girl!”

yeji is the bestest friend you could’ve ever asked for. she was always there for you.

ever since you were little you were stuck like a glue, you had each other’s backs and you were more than thankful to have her in your life.

“hey y/n! i was just wondering, do you perhaps have notes for the last maths class? i missed it because of practice and i’d really like some help” sunghoon showed up with a grin.

“sure, they’re in my locker, i’ll bring it to you” you nodded and he shook his head.

“i’ll come with you”

“oh? okay”

he followed you to your locker and waited for you to give him the notes.

“what’s in this paper?” he asked as he looked at the very cute designed paper.

“oh? that’s nothing really” you shrugged it off and quickly closed your locker, “bring them back to me when you finish”

“i will, thank you!” he said and walked away.

you opened your locker again to take out the paper, you sighed heavily and shoved it into your bag.

“six, he can’t keep his promises! if he’ll ever tell you he’ll play some video games with you, don’t believe it!!” yeji read it out loud and laughed.

you laughed with her, suddenly finding this list so funny.

“seven, his puppy eyes are definitely misleading! he’s a one manipulative bitch and he won’t be afraid to use his cute puppy eyes!” she rolled her eyes, “is that a good or a bad thing?”

“bad thing obviously! it’s literally written there that he’s manipulative!”

“girls love puppy eyes! you should know that!” she preached and you rolled your eyes.

you spent the rest of your lunch break giggling and laughing about this stupid list.

“i’m returning this to my locker, i’ll burn it after practice today” you told her and she nodded.

“i need proof of that, video call me when you do it!” she said and sent you off to practice.

arriving at the field, you found your friends and practice started.

“hey, y/n!” as you were packing everything in your bag and exiting the dressing room, sunghoon, who was already there waiting for you called you.

“hey, you” you grinned.

“will you let me do the honor and walk you home today?” he asked ever so nicely.

“sure!” you smiled and began to walk with him, completely forgetting about the paper you had to burn.

“i can’t believe you forgot the paper in your locker! what if someone steals it?” yeji complained over the phone right after you texted her that you forgot about it.

“yeji! no one knows it’s there except you! it’s not ‘to all the boys i’ve loved before’ story! you can calm down” you sighed.

you were right though, who knows this locker holds up something that can completely ruin not only yours but also your ex’s image?

“i guess i’m gonna let this slide today, but i’m going to burn this paper with you tomorrow!”

“hm”

“how was your walk with sunghoon~?” she teased.

“it was cool, he’s such a cute guy, surprised that he’s still single honestly”

“i think we both know why”

“i’m gonna go sleep!” you changed the subject and before she could ask any more questions you hang up.

the next day you found yourself yet again a victim to yeji’s new gossips while trying to take out a few things from your locker.

“so as i was saying—are you even listening to me?” she looked at you while you looked at the mirror that was hanged in your locker and applied your lipstick on.

“hm? oh yeah”

“you’re a lost case”

“we’re gonna burn this paper today! and then i will finally be able to feel free from this relationship” you smiled, explaining to her that it was the only thing on your mind.

“you’re damn right! this hate list about jake is going to be burnt today!!”

“this hate list about who?”

you jumped hearing someone else’s voice behind you.

“oh! yena, didn’t see you here” you chuckled nervously.

“just here to tell you that coach said there’ll be another practice today, i came here privately because, you know, you’re too busy in other things to care” oh she’s a one of a kind bitch.

you gave her a sarcastic smile, “i already know that, but thank you”

she returned the fake smile and walked away.

“that was so close!”

“you should be more careful, this girl is just looking for something that’ll bring you down” yeji whispered and you nodded, “i guess you’re right, at least she didn’t really hear all of this”

school ended and so did your practice, yeji leaned on the wall next to your locker as you searched for the paper.

“i could’ve sworn i put it right there!!”

“y/n think!! maybe you put it in your bag?”

you handed her your bag for her to search it.

“oh! i found it! it was between those notebooks” you giggled, “but i could’ve sworn i put it under all of my books”

“at least you found it” she sighed and put her hand over your shoulder.

“let’s burn this bitch!”

looking at the little fire you made with yeji made you feel excited and mostly happy.

you let all your thoughts together with this paper to burn.

your relationship was toxic, but this time was the most beautiful time in your life.

you and jake really did love each other.

one time you were sitting together in the library, trying to study the new material your teacher gave you.

“what are you up to?” he asked.

“studying, that’s why we’re in the library” you smiled.

“that’s so boring!” he pout. you giggled and pecked his lips, “you can be on your phone or something until i finish”

“no” he shook his head, “i want to do something with you”

“jake—“

“let’s go! i’m taking you on a date!” he grabbed your hands and dragged you out.

you spent the rest of your day together, sharing a few snacks and joking around.

it was the perfect kdrama couple everyone dreams of.

you ended up sleeping at jake’s house that day, and he made sure you knew how much he loves you.

“i can see our future together,” he smiled and held your hands, “me, a famous basketball player and you, my pretty partner”

you were sitting right across him on his bed and raised a brow, “oh? so i get to do nothing?”

“i’ll make sure to work hard so you could rest and never work for your entire life” he hugged you and pecked your cheek.

“remember that promise, i’ll use that against you in the future” you joked.

“that means…..you too see a future for us?”

“of course”

he put his hand on your cheek and moved you closer to him, he kissed you so deeply you could feel his love to you was sincere.

that small flashback of this romantic moment made you smile, you really do miss him.

but a dark memory came right away, not leaving any place for the sweet memories to stay,

“oh so i didn’t pay attention for you for once and now you’re giving fuck eyes to my best friend?” he yelled.

“you’re such an idiot sometimes! sunghoon was actually kind enough to apologize on your behalf! you were basically embarrassing me in front of everyone!”

“so now sunghoon’s the hero? go to him then!”

“why are you so stup—“

“i don’t want to hear your complains, y/n!”

“oh really?—“

“yes! go away!”

thinking about those moments reminded you why you’re still here looking at the hateful list you made about him.

he was toxic, possessive, and full on narcissistic, it was so hard to love him sometimes.

yeji came up to hug you when she noticed a few tears streamed down your face.

“let it go now, you already proved yourself you don’t need him” she smiled and you nodded.

“let’s go home”

the next day felt a lot better than the others, the sun was shining brightly, birds were singing, a big smile was smeared all over your face and most importantly, you felt free.

“morning, y/n!”

“morning yeji! lunch is on me today”

“i look up to you so much, my queen” she faked a bow and you giggled.

the day is going to be amazing, and so are the other days! you’re so sure of it.

you decided to keep up with jake’s game and even started flirting with other guys, not even minding if your ex was watching or not.

usually you would, but not now, or never again.

“what’s your fucking problem?”

while talking to some guy you don’t even remember the name of, jake grabbed your wrist and stopped the conversation.

“what do you mean—“

“i mean flirting with him, he’s supposed to practice—“

“you don’t return from break for the next ten minutes, i can talk with him in the meantime” you rolled your eyes.

“coach said—“

“don’t make up things now and don’t act like you care, we’re already over”

“y/n—“

“don’t play this game with me now jake, you can return to your fangirls and leave us alone” you scoffed and released his hold on your wrist.

he rolled his eyes in annoyance and walked away.

“did you see the way he looked at you? i bet you my whole money that he still loves you” yeji sounded as annoyed as he was.

“be ready to go bankrupt because there’s no chance”

“this asshole thinks you’re still in a relationship, he’s sooooo pathetic!”

“yeji, let’s stop talking about him” you groaned and she nodded.

you were in a really good mood today but he totally just ruined it.

the next few days went by so fast, you felt happier by each day that comes by, and nothing could ruin your mood.

that was until today’s morning.

as soon as you stepped your foot in the school’s hallway, people started gossiping.

“y/n! about point five, does he really put his milk before cereal? that’s disgusting!” a random student just popped up and asked you that question straightforwardly.

“huh?”

a few more students gathered around you and you couldn’t even understand a bit of what they were saying.

“excuse me! coming through!” yeji yelled and pushed everyone aside.

when she noticed you in the middle of the circle, she grabbed your hand and dragged you away.

“are you crazy? why would you post the list?!” she asked frustratedly.

“what list?”

“don’t play dumb!”

“no i’m really serious, what are you talking about?”

she glanced up at you and showed you her phone.

“no way!” you gasped.

someone posted your list!

“yes way! are you that stupid?”

“yeji that wasn’t me! i would never do something so dumb!” you reasoned yourself.

right, why would you even post this if you knew it was going to ruin your reputation?

she sighed and walked back and forth.

“it wasn’t me either!” she said almost instantly.

“yeji, you’re the only one who knows about this list” you said suspectedly.

“y/n, do you really think i’d post this? after shit-talking about him and threatening to kill him multiple times?” she looked genuinely hurt.

you know her ever since you know yourself, she wouldn’t do such a thing.

“you’re right” you sighed.

“so,” she spoke, “who’s the asshole?”

“i wish i knew” you scoffed, “i’d like to know who wants to ruin my image”

there were a few seconds of silence, “yena!” you and yeji shouted together with wide eyes.

“this bitch!” yeji spat, “she probably heard us talking about it!”

“oh i’m gonna give her some good bea—“

you were cut off by the bell and had to head straight to class.

you waited for everyone to get in and told yeji you’d come right after you get to your locker and take your notes.

the hallway was empty and you sighed in relief.

“YOU!!” you heard someone shouting across the hallway.

guess it wasn’t so empty after all.

you looked at the person and found the last person you wanted to see.

“you ruined my life!” the person just got closer and closer and you closed your eyes tightly.

“is it because of our break up? that’s how you get back at me? you ruined everything!”

you sighed heavily.

“and what’s with those points? eight, he’s such a nerd for physics it actually hurts, he won’t stop talking about it all the time, nine, thinks his dog is the cutest and will argue you if you don’t think like him, and ten, he’ll use your deepest secrets against you, he cannot be trusted???” he read out the list for you in disbelief, although you already know it.

“those are all lies aren’t they? why did you even—“

“well what am i supposed to do now? it’s already posted, and no! these are not lies! they’re the truth, if you only cared about how i felt in our relationship you’d realize how much of a dick you were” you scoffed and closed your locker, prepared to go to class since you were already too late.

you glanced at jake one last time, he looked speechless, confused and hurt.

were you too much? maybe. but he deserves it.

“hey y/n! should i be careful if i want to date you? i don’t want a hateful list posted about me if i ever break up with you” a random student yelled from across the hall as you were busy talking with yeji.

you glared at him and decided not to reply.

“ignore them, this whole thing will probably vanish in a few days” yeji caressed your back and you sighed.

“i hope you’re right—“ before you could continue, a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you away from yeji.

you looked at the person in charge and when you noticed it was very angry looking jake, you started panicking.

“hey, let me go!” you tried to let go of his hold but it was no use.

“why didn’t you delete it yet?” he asked angrily when you got into an isolated place.

“delete what?”

“are you that stupid?”

“obviously if i’m still talking to you”

“i’m talking about the post”

“it wasn’t me!” you argued.

“sure, and i’m actually queen elizabeth” he rolled his eyes, clearly not believing you.

“think about it, why would i ruin my reputation?”

“i don’t know, to get sunghoon’s attention? that’s all you ever did” he shrugged.

“you’re a piece of shit, you know that? try to figure who it was on your own” you spat and walked away, leaving him deep in thoughts.

“oh! there you ar— are you okay?” sunghoon who casually bumped into you noticed your frowned eyebrows and tightly closed fists.

“go to your friend, i think he needs you more than i do”

he slowly nodded, still worried about you but you just kept walking away.

“hey dude! what’s going on?” sunghoon noticed his friend’s weird behavior.

“sunghoon,” jake spoke, “who do you think posted it?”

sunghoon shrugged, “it could be anyone”

“who wants to destroy my image? do you think there’s someone that does?”

sunghoon looked at his friend in disbelief, does he really think only about himself now?

“maybe it was someone who wants to get back at y/n and not you? not everything revolves around you, you know”

ouch. truth hurts sometimes.

but it seemed to hit a nerve and jake suddenly got up.

“yena!”

“ugh! just when i thought my life got better without him now i have a huge scandal because of him” you whined.

“are you sure it was only because of him? i mean, you did leave it in your locker and…” yeji was about to continue but stopped when she noticed your glare.

“on who’s side are you?”

“every coin has two sides and you know it” she pressed her lips and you sighed.

maybe she’s right, instead of always blaming your ex about your life problems, you should face the truth sometimes.

“well if it isn’t the famous y/n!” you heard a voice you wished you’d never hear again.

“yena! it’s so good to see you here” you faked a smile, “what brings you here?”

“i study here” she answered sarcastically and you tried to resist the urge to punch her in the face.

“anyway, your list got so famous that everyone at school talks about it! i think you should thank whoever posted it”

“maybe i should! it really got me some fame, even your boyfriend came up to me today” you teased and her face turned red.

“you’re lying!”

“your boyfriend would say otherwise”

she scoffed and ran away, “tell him i agree to go on a date with him!” you shout as she walked away.

“you should go easy on her” yeji, who was there to witness everything that happened shook her head.

“it was her who posted it, she deserved it” you huffed and sped up your walk to the classroom.

your last class was finished after what felt like a year and as you got out you finally took a deep breath.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, try not to think about what happened today!” yeji sent you off and you smiled at her.

as soon as you stepped your foot in school you wished you could run away.

before anyone would notice you, you tried to sneak around and look for yeji.

“y/n!” god how much you hate universe.

“what do you want jake?” you answered rudely.

“just wanted to say thank you for that list,” he said sarcastically, “it’s not like you ruined my reputation or something like that, hey by the way! do you think i should make one too? i think that would be fun”

“don’t you dare” you groaned.

“then let’s date again”

“what?”

“are you deaf? i said let’s date again”

“what makes you think i’d actually do that?”

“well, we could lie to everyone that we tried to trick them into thinking that we hated each other to see how others will react” he shrugged, “think about it, it’ll save our image, plus you owe me”

“i owe you nothing”

“it’s because of you that we’re in this shitty situation!”

“you can just let it be and people will forget about it sooner or later, now let me go—“

he caught your wrist before you could leave.

“one week, one week of just pretending and then we’ll part our ways peacefully”

truth is, his idea didn’t ring so bad, but you were scared. you were scared you’d fall in love with him all over again.

“what is it, some fake dating love story? you can go fake date sunghoon and that’ll create a bigger scandal than this one” you shoved your hand and rolled your eyes while walking away.

a part of him just wanted to hold you back again in his arms, for real.

“hey jake!” sunghoon greeted him and jake gave him a weak smile.

“did you just talk with y/n? i thought you were angry with her?”

“i don’t know, sunghoon” he sighed, “i just want my old life back”

“yeah you kinda fucked up your life, hey why did you even break up with her in the first place?”

when sunghoon heard about your break up, he was the first to come up to jake and ask him about the reasons, only then he realized jake didn’t really want to speak about it at all.

but now jake felt ready, he felt like he needed someone to hear his side of the story, every coin has two sides right?

there they were, sitting in the field’s seats, looking at the empty space, it was just the two of them.

“when we first got together i was so happy, you already know how much i liked her that time, you even helped me planning all those dates” jake sighed.

“‘sunghoon how do you take someone on a date without telling them straightforward it’s a date?’ i remember you asking me those questions nonstop!” sunghoon laughed.

“yeah, i was on cloud nine, but,” jake paused, “i was scared to lose her, i was so scared to lose her to the point i became overly possessive and anxious when she was around other boys, i was so used to have a one time thing and i didn’t know how to keep relationships, it all became messed up, this whole relationship happened in the wrong time”

sunghoon pat his friend’s shoulder, feeling sad for him.

“each time i tried to fix it, it got worse and i didn’t know how to stop, so i just decided to break it off, it’s better to let her live her life than to stay selfish and keep her to myself” jake sighed yet again, emphasizing the disappointment he feels with himself.

“i actually wanted to say this for awhile, but deep down i know you’re insecure about yourself, and you tried to hide it by boosting your ego and lying to everyone about your true self” sunghoon chuckled, “you were some kind of an asshole before you started dating y/n, and even became more of an asshole after getting into a relationship, you should’ve just talked it out with y/n”

“well it’s too late now isn’t it? she made that very clear that she hates me by writing down that list” jake groaned.

“maybe you should just make one about her and ruin her chances to have any relationship in highschool as well” sunghoon shrugged but jake looked at him curiously.

“i was joking! don’t do that!”

“well? how are we feeling today?” yeji handed you your favorite snack to cheer your mood up.

“thinking about ways to kill yena, how about i poison her food?”

“how about you just talk it out with her?”

“not a chance! i can’t look at her face without fighting the urge to punch her”

“well it isn’t going to help you, is it?”

“no, but it’ll make me satisfied”

“maybe i should just accept his offer?” you murmured.

“offer? what offer?” yeji asked.

“promise me no matter what happens, you’ll never abandon me” you grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at you straight in your eyes.

“have you gone mad? i—“

“promise me!”

“okay, okay!” she laughed, “you’re acting like you’re planning to get back with jake”

your silence told her everything.

“don’t you dare—“

“i have the perfect plan! you know how yena always wanted jake, right?”

“doesn’t she have a boyfriend—“

“boyfriend my ass, she was all over jake all the time”

“continue please”

“she probably posted my list to make sure i’ll never date him again, so she could have her chance,” you raised a brow, “by dating him i could only piss her off, but maybe that’d actually get her to confess about it”

“and then what?”

“then HER reputation would be ruined forever, boyfriend? gone, cheerleading? gone, friends? gone!”

“y/n,” yeji held your hand, “you’re so smart i feel like a proud mom!” she wiped her fake tears away.

later then you searched for a specific person you knew you’d find in the field.

“so,” the person said, “you actually agree?”

“jake, don’t make it harder than it already is” you rolled your eyes, trying to keep up with your cool girl energy, but deep down you were so excited to be close to him again and to hold him in your embrace.

“have you heard? jake and y/n are back!!” as you were walking towards your classroom you heard mumbling from other students.

“i literally just now agreed to this stupid idea how-“

“you know how fast rumor spread here, it’s actually scary”

your thoughts kept running through your mind all the way to lunch break, which was the only time you could ever relax and—

“attention please!” oh no.

“yes, me and y/n are back! this whole list thing? it was just to check everyone’s reaction about it! it’s so smart isn’t it? my sweet baby thought about this idea, and we did figure some weird actions after this whole thing blew up” jake dragged you right next to him and stared right into your eyes, “you’ll never break us apart”

cheers and claps were heard all over the hall and the only thing you thought about now is how to run away.

“congratulations! i was so scared it was real, was just now about to pay (student’s name) a hundred bucks, who lost the bet now huh loser?” one of the students came up to you with a wide smile.

you awkwardly smiled back as you set her off.

“did you really have to do that?” you glared at him.

“i did, see? now no one’s talking about it again” he shrugged.

“everyone stopped talking about it a day after! you’re just too busy thinking about yourself to notice your surroundings” you rolled your eyes.

“you agreed to do that, so be my guest, you knew there will be consequences”

“you’re the worst!”

“you don’t mean that”

you just rolled your eyes in return and stormed off.

“hey my sweet darling, how’s your day?”

“jake, we’re out of school, drop the acting”

you failed to notice his smile dropping.

“can’t i just be curious about your day?”

“jake, it’s weird, it’s been a while since we last talked or had a normal conversation, don’t act like nothing happened”

“what do you mean?”

“see you always does that! even when we were in a relationship! you fail to understand how badly you always hurt me and proceeded to just move on so fast, always running away from your problems”

he stopped his tracks as you continued walking away, this left a huge impact on him.

the next day you were back to acting, according to you, to jake it seemed very real.

you were sitting on one of the benches, casually talking with sunghoon about whatever.

jake seemed to notice every small detail about you.

the way you smile when he’s complimenting you, the way you crack at any of his jokes, even those who weren’t so funny.

you never laughed at his jokes.

“hey, can i steal my girlfriend?” jake sounded calm but his whole face screamed anger.

sunghoon, his best friend who had already recognized that face, slowly got up and smiled, “she’s all yours”

“hey, what was that?” you scoffed.

“you were being too close to him”

you rolled your eyes, “i can’t believe we’re back at it again”

“again?”

“yes, again! jake, get it right into your mind, we are not together! we’re just putting a small show for everyone’s entertainment and that’s it, it’s all about saving your ass here as well” you sounded really pissed off.

jake was taken a back for a few seconds but got right back to his senses, “oh”

“yes, oh! we’ll act like a couple when we’ll really need it” and with that you walked away.

“so,” you heard a devilish voice haunting you from behind as you were taking books out of your locker, “you and jake?”

“oh hey yena!” you smiled, “fancy seeing you here”

“answer my question” she furiously said.

“why are you curious? dropped your boyfriend because you thought you’d get a chance with him?” you smirked.

“oh! here’s my boyfriend!” you called jake who seemed to be very deep in thought.

he looked straight into your eye but decided to just walk away and ignore you completely.

“what the hell…” you cursed under your breath.

“boyfriend, huh?” yena was the one who’s smirking now, “well have fun!”

“what the hell was your problem back then?” you let yourself yell at him as you were out of school and on your way home.

“oh, i thought that we need to act like a couple when we really need it—“

“don’t play dumb right now!”

“i don’t get you y/n seriously! you’re always saying something but mean the exact opposite, what do you want, really?” he returned the attitude.

“what?”

“if you’re that suffering you should just go to sunghoon!”

“again with the sunghoon scandal—“

“yes, again with him! how come you never laughed at my jokes? how come you never smiled at any compliment i’ve given you? why did you always push me away when i tried to get closer?” the heated conversation turned into a quiet one, his tone made it very clear to you that he was hurting.

“w-what…” you whispered.

“you just don’t get it do you?” he chuckled, “my reason to being this jealous”

you stopped to think, all this time, all those arguments, he didn’t mean any bad at all.

“have you tried thinking about those beautiful moments we had? those were the most precious moments that ever happened in my entire life” you voice came quiet, “it was my first relationship ever, my first love, my first everything, i didn’t know how i should react, or what i should do in order to keep you to myself”

his glossy eyes were looking at you.

“you were so not used to doing ‘first time’ things that you failed to notice every little thing that i tried to do to keep us together, have you ever thought about that?” you preached, “i loved you, maybe i still do, but that won’t change anything, will it? it just doesn’t matter anymore”

he tried moving closer to you but stopped, “i-i’m sorry…”

“just go” you wiped the tears that were already streaming down your face.

both of you were hurting, but you didn’t know how to fix it all, it’s so stupid really, you think you’ve grown up to be a better person, but somehow communication puts on a wall that stops it all.

“have you heard? i think y/n and jake are over now, for real!”

“how the fuck did i became the hot topic again? and how come everyone knows about what happened yesterday?” you asked yeji.

“rumors, they spread so fast here” she shrugged and you rolled your eyes.

you watched jake pass you, you took the time to focus on his face.

his eyes seem so tried, puffy and hurt…. you thought.

“well someone had a rough day yesterday” yeji commented and you nodded slowly, still lost in thoughts.

“hey, can you let teacher know i have a meeting with coach today?”

“hm? but you don’t have any—“ “thank you!” you ran off quickly before she could ask any more questions.

“psst! sunghoon!” you whispered as you watched him getting ready for class.

“oh? y/n!” he smiled widely.

“come with me!” you grabbed his hand and dragged him outside the school building all the way to the back.

“y/n can we do this other time? class starts soon and—“

“shh!!” you put your finger over his lips and kneeled down with him, hiding from any teacher or student.

“i need you to help me” you gave him puppy eyes.

“yes of course, what happened?” he instantly asked.

“i’m gonna guess that you’re already aware of what happened yesterday”

“yeah, whatever that was i’d rather forget hearing about this”

“focus! i need you to help me figure out this!”

“what do you mean by ‘this’?”

“i mean everything! you’re his best friend, i’m sure you know about our whole relationship status, i-i just need to know why he broke up with me in the first place” you sighed.

“y/n, you’re not going to like what you’ll be hearing, are you sure you want that?” he genuinely asked.

you looked down to the ground and sighed, “yes, tell me everything please”

maybe asking him not to drop any detail was a mistake, because now after he told you everything and left you alone to get some time to think, you can’t help it but overthink about any step that you did.

“that only shows how bad you were for each other” sunghoon’s last words sent shivers down your spine, maybe he’s right.

“miscommunication sucks!” you laid back on the wall next to you, was this whole relationship a big mistake?

it did nothing but to hurt the both of you.

“there you are!” yeji sounded out of breath.

“so, jake might’ve gotten himself into a tiny fight and—“

“what? where!”

“it was right outside of our classroom but—“

before she could even finish her sentence you ran all the way back to your classroom and she after you.

“there’s no one here” you frowned, “you did this on purpose!”

“i tried to tell you he’s already in the nursery!” she yelled after trying to catch her breath.

“fill me up with information please” you asked quietly.

“you asshole!” as soon as you stepped into the nursery and saw jake laying down on one of the beds, a few tears came down your face.

“y/n! be careful he’s still recovering!” the nurse warned you from causing any more harm.

jake slowly opened his eyes and you scoffed, “fight? really? because of me?” you looked at him in disbelief.

he stayed silent, as if he knew what he did was wrong.

“you have nothing to say?”

“he called you a whore who likes to play with any boy that comes around, what did you expect me to do?” he sounded defensive.

“oh, i don’t know, maybe try to insult him with words and not physically! you got yourself into trouble now because of me” you complained.

“it was worth it” he smirked.

“jake, i’m being serious right now, you can’t act like we’re a couple when we’re absolutely not” as soon as you said this the nurse got the clue and went out of the room.

“that is exactly the problem!” he shout, “i can’t pass another day without you being by my side, you drive me crazy only by looking at me, and hell, i cannot look at any other man flirting with you without fighting the urge to punch him!”

“jake…” you whispered.

“i still love you, don’t you get it?…..i feel like i just can’t continue my day without holding you in my arms….” he held your hand.

you wiped the tears that continued to stream down your face, “you’re probably still suffering from concussion after the fight, i’ll go speak to the nurse”

you let go of his hold and walked out of the room.

a lot of thoughts were haunting your brain, how you wished things would be as simple as they sound.

he confessed to you and you love him, what’s stopping you from running into his arms?

“you’re just scared of giving whatever this was a second chance” yeji said as she took a bite of her food.

“whatever this was, it was toxic, i don’t want that to happen again” you sighed.

“yeah, it was pretty shitty to watch from the side, but i think he genuinely mean it this time” she took another bite from her food.

“how do you know that?”

“i mean really, ever since that list was posted he was around you 24/7, probably looking for excuses to be with you, that whole ‘oh we were just joking, we’re still dating’ thing was a dumb excuse for him to be next to you more, any nine years old can tell you that”

“you don’t have to be that harsh” you scoffed.

“i’m telling the truth babe, as much as i hated his guts, and still do, i think he was genuine about his feelings this time, and by the way you told me everything that happened, i think he really wants to fix it and try all over again” she shrugged.

“i….i don’t know what to say”

“just go and tell him yes already” she rolled her eyes and you nodded.

it’s time to fix your broken relationship.

you walked—ran back to the nursery only to find it empty.

“um…do you know where’s—“ “i saw him going to the field” the nurse answered before you could ask.

“thank you!” you smiled and walked excitedly to the field.

“i did it” you heard a familiar voice, “i posted that list”

before you could see who’s talking, you quickly hid behind a side wall.

“what?” you’re 100% certain this is jake’s voice, but who is he talking to?

“i thought this would finally break whatever you had going with her, i mean, you always had heart eyes for her even after your break up, it was making me sick”

“still, how could you do this to me?” jake sounded betrayed and…hurt.

“you had to move on, seriously, it was becoming unhealthy, i didn’t think it’d only bring you closer, it was such a mistake”

“please stop…”

“when you broke up i thought i’d finally have chance with her, but she was actually always looking your way, not even batting an eye at me”

“sunghoon just stop! i can’t believe my best friend would do this”

was it sunghoon this whole time?

“so it was you?” your thoughts voiced out.

“y-y/n?” you saw jake and sunghoon standing right in front of the other, sunghoon wore a shocked expression while jake just stood there looking completely hurt.

“what kind of an idiot would call himself a best friend? and to think you did all of that for what? to hurt not only him but me as well” you tched, “you’re nothing but an egoistic asshole”

“please just—“

“just go the fuck away! you did nothing but to hurt people, you’re disgusting me” you tried to shoo him but he didn’t budge.

“not going? okay then” you grabbed jake’s hand and walked away, not before shooting him an angry glare.

after a few minutes of walking you sat him down on one of the benches.

“you okay?” that was the first thing you asked.

“yeah, not like my best friend tried to sabotage me or anything” he chuckled.

“i’m sorry for that” you placed your hand on his shoulder, pressing it lightly, “he does not deserve to be called your best friend though”

he looked up to you and his eyes were filled with tears. you wiped the tears away and smiled at him.

“i don’t know if it’s going to help, but i didn’t feel anything for him, and never will”

he chuckled and sniffled, “i always trusted you, but i couldn’t find myself to trust him, i guess now i know why”

you rolled your eyes, “yeah, yeah you were right, i was wrong”

he gave you his infamous smile and the butterflies you felt never felt this good, “thank you” he said.

“for what?”

“for being there for me, and even if you don’t want to fix things right now, i think we might be—“

you shut him down by kissing his lips, he was shocked at first but quickly caught up, caging you in his arms and holding you tightly.

as you broke the kiss you smiled, “i do want to fix things, i want that more than anything”

“do you mean it? aren’t you afraid?”

“as long as i’m with you i have nothing to fear” you smiled.

“ugh! you’re back again? i can’t keep up with this anymore!” you heard an annoying voice.

“hey yena? fuck off” you flipped her off and she stormed away.

“since when did you become so confident?”

“ever since i realized i want to cherish and hold the most precious thing to me forever”

“i love you” he held your hand and kissed it, “i love you too” you replied with a quick peck on his lips.

“aww lovebirds, get back in class now the day’s not over yet!”

PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 @moons-v @s00buwu @hoonheepretty @jjeoni-7 @dimplewonie

••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

[hwaslayer]

vivrant thing (jwy) | five.

—SPOTIFY PLAYLIST / SERIES MASTERLIST

—SUMMARY: after getting into a little accident, wooyoung decides to do his sister a favor by pretending to be your date at the company summer party. as soon as the night ends, wooyoung would go back to his usual routine of hanging out with his boys, keeping his distance from committed relationships and being a typical brother to jiwoo. except, the favor comes with more than what wooyoung expects and he finds you occupying his mind more than usual. 

—PAIRING: jung wooyoung x f. reader

—GENRE: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriend’s brother au | fluff, angst, smut

—WORD COUNT: 9k

—CHAPTER CONTENT / WARNINGS: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, crying, chapter is pretty heavily papa-focused, mentions of illness, the talk happens!!, crying, bbygirl is sad and exhausted but wooyoung tries his best, yes im sorry i had to reference the howl/wooyoung thing, small sweet kisses and affectionate acts, very brief mentions of alcohol consumption / intoxication / hangovers, also very brief mentions of wooyoung's past again, more jiwoo vs. wooyoung (bickering not actual arguments lol), lots of apologies from jiwoo lol sorry if i missed anything!

Something's wrong, and Wooyoung can't figure it out. It's bothering him. As much as he's trying to respect your space, he can't help but worry about you. Especially when you haven't returned any of his texts or calls. He was expecting something, anything by now, so he can't help himself when he sends another text—

wooyoung: are you at work?

you: i'm about to head home.

You only respond because even though you aren't quite ready to face him regarding all of this yet, you don't wanna worry him unnecessarily. But, it still does anyway. Why aren't you at work?

And maybe, he should've asked if it was okay to see you first. It's the anxiety, the panic, within him that isn't letting him rest. He just needed to see you and make sure you were okay after everything that went down. His sister could be a piece of work, and you didn't necessarily have Yeosang to lean onto. Truthfully, you wouldn't be mad if he actually showed up at your door step. He is the comfort you need as much as you'd hate to admit it right now. At the same time, it'd make you a little more sad though, more confused. 

Lo and behold, when you get home from the long night in the hospital, Wooyoung is leaning against the rail; waiting right by your doorstep. You don't question why he's not at work either, but you feel a sense of relief come over you seeing him there. A sense of relief mixed with nervousness. He doesn't say a word, simply cause he's trying to read you. He's trying to figure out if he's the reason why you look so low and tired. If it's his sister, Yeosang. All of the above.

"I don't really have time to talk about this, Wooyoung—" Is all you mutter as you unlock your door and step in.

"Then, we don't have to talk about it right now. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He slips in and slowly kicks off his shoes, watching the way you drag yourself towards your closet. You're not sure why that's enough to trigger you, but you find yourself starting to tear up. Exhaustion hitting you tough, sadness stemming deep from your gut. Wooyoung can tell, and even if you're trying to be incredibly sneaky about it, he can still hear you quietly sniffing away. "Y/N." He says, forcing you to pause your movements as you continue to cry. "What is it? Whatever it is, let me help."

"Wooyoung, please just go. I need to go back."

"Go back where?" 

"The hospital." You mutter softly.

"The hospital?" He furrows his brows. "Wait, what's going on? Why are you shutting me out?"

"That's a bold question to ask after that everything that's happened." Fuck, Wooyoung thinks. Don't be fucking stupid, Wooyoung.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I'm just—" He pauses, watching as you pack things in your bag before setting it aside and grabbing a new change of clothes. "I'm worried about you."

"Don't be."

"Y/N." He calls you again, and you take this moment to look him in the eye. Everything within you wants to cave when you see him looking down at you the way he is, hand gently tugging at your wrist. He's basically pleading through his eyes, and the only reason why you continue with your next response is because he actually looks like he means it.

"Papa's in the hospital." You softly say.

"W-what?" He stutters. "What happened? He got worse?"

"Kidney infection." Wooyoung sighs. "He's been hiding it, but he's been feeling more than just being tired. The pain got really bad. Super sudden and sharp. He almost went into sepsis cause of the fever he had."

"Shit. Is he okay now?"

"He's stable." You try to brush past him to quickly wash up and change, but he blocks your path.

"Let me take you." You try to move past, yet you're still unsuccessful.

"Wooyoung." 

"I'll take you back—"

"Stop it. I don't need you to. I don't need you to do anything for me. I can handle it." Your response almost makes him flinch. Truthfully, he knows he deserves it. He knows it shouldn't have taken him this long to talk to you, to reach out to you. So, he knows. He's fully aware. It doesn't make it sting less, though.

"I fucked up. I acknowledge that and I'm sorry. There's so many things I can tell you when the time is right. But, for now, please don't shut me out and do this alone. I wanna be here for you." He pauses, every inch of his heart slowly shattering the more he sees the tears constantly staining your cheeks. "Please let me be here for you." You nibble on your bottom lip, shifting your attention away from Wooyoung as you wipe at your tears and try to suck it all up, try to regain composure. Before Wooyoung can even reach out to wipe the stragglers away, you step around him and lock yourself in the bathroom, leaving Wooyoung in the middle of your living room area. You give yourself a good 15 minutes to freshen up and change before meeting him outside again. He sits on the arm of your couch, patiently waiting.

"I just need to grab a few more things."

"Do you need me to help pack some stuff up?"

"It's okay." You pack some clothes and the rest of your necessities in case you'll be able to stay the night again, though you know it's probably a long shot. You hate having to be away from Papa, and now [even more than ever], you feel the need to keep him close. You feel the need to make up for not being there when he needed you the most; the guilt eating you alive.

Once you've finished, you grab yourself a bottle of water and turn to Wooyoung who is now waiting for you near the door. He gives you a small, toothless smile, gently grabbing your bag from you before leading the way out of your studio and to the car.

The drive is so, so incredibly quiet, but Wooyoung understands you need this more than anything right now. The only time he spoke a word was when he asked you which hospital you needed to go to. Otherwise, he let you sit in your peace. He'd look over from time to time, itching to hold your hand, kiss your hand or gently massage your head as a way to affectionately reassure you that things would be okay. Instead, he looks back out to the road and adjusts the heat a bit to make sure you're warm enough— hoping it's enough to provide comfort from a distance.

"You sure you don't wanna stop by for food or coffee? Anything? You should eat."

"I can just eat at the hospital."

"Mmkay." Wooyoung says, pulling into the hospital and straight towards the parking garage. When he pulls into a spot on the second floor and shuts off the car, he immediately steps out to grab your things from the trunk. You walk alongside of him towards the main entrance, checking in with the front desk before slapping on your visitor stickers and heading down the hall. It's quite the journey of twists and turns before you get to Papa's room, and a sense of relief washes over you when you finally arrive. He's sleeping in his bed, TV on to one of his favorite cooking shows.

"Papa." You gently rub at his arm to wake him. He looks up at you with sleepy eyes, mustering all his energy to smile back at you and Wooyoung.

"Y/N, Wooyoung."

"How're you feeling?" Wooyoung asks.

"Better. Not the best yet, but better." Wooyoung nods before turning his attention to you. "Why don't you go eat? I'll stay with Papa." Wooyoung looks at you sympathetically. You simply nod in response, tugging Papa's blanket up before you let him know you'll be stepping out for a few minutes.

"Papa, do you need anything right now?" He shakes his head. "I'll be back then, okay? I'm going to get food." Papa nods sleepily. "Wooyoung is here." You turn back to Wooyoung, who is now sitting in the chair next to his bed. "Want anything?"

"I'm good." He gives you a pursed smile, watching you walk out of the room and down to the cafeteria on the other end of the first floor. After grabbing some toast, a bit of egg and bacon, you order a latte to go with your food. You sit at a table near the window and slowly eat away, scrolling through social media and stumbling upon Jiwoo and Hongjoong's pictures. You like all of them, though the two of you hadn't really talked much since the fight, since she left. Despite all of the commotion, you still sent her a text wishing her a safe trip, in which she replied with a heart reaction. 

You left it at that.

It was hurtful, and you were sad you and Jiwoo were like this. But, you were still optimistic that the two of you would return to your usual ways soon. Besides, you still needed to figure out what was going on between you and Wooyoung.

All of this was a mess.

You feel your bottom lip tremble and you press the back of your finger flat beneath your nose to try and prevent yourself from crying in the cafeteria. When you feel the wave pass, you let out a shaky breath before focusing on finishing your food. Meanwhile, Wooyoung continues to watch the TV while Papa lays next to him, in and out of sleep. At least, that's what he thought until Papa breaks the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.

"Wooyoungie." Papa is barely able to make out, his voice hoarse and tired. Wooyoung is surprised to see him awake right now, only being able to imagine how tired he is.

"Mhm?" Wooyoung tugs his blanket up a little more on the side, returning his attention back up to Papa's face afterwards.

"Take care of my Y/N, hm?" He smiles softly. "My body isn't what it used to be. I'm afraid it'll only get weaker, and at some point, my time will come." Wooyoung's heart drops hearing the statement fall from Papa's lips, though, when he faces the reality, it's only the truth. "Take care of her. Please don't leave her alone."

"I will. I promise I won't leave her side, okay?" Papa lets out a content breath, resting his head back against the pillow. "Although, I think I might've messed up with her."

"You didn't." He pulls another tired smile.

"Pretty sure I did." Wooyoung licks his lips. "I was being stupid."

"You needed time, I assume. It happens to the best of us." 

"Did she.. tell you everything?" Wooyoung asks, afraid of the details Papa might know. And he knows, to some extent. You did tell him that dinner with Yeosang was terrible. You did tell him that you drank a little too much after, that you accidentally texted Wooyoung instead of Jiwoo. You did tell him things 'kinda' escalated. 

And then you apologized profusely while you cried at his bedside for not being there because you got into a fight with Jiwoo over the whole thing with Wooyoung. You cried your sorries nonstop; Papa didn't even know what was more painful to endure: you breaking down and sobbing, or his kidneys going outta wack.

—FLASHBACK

"Papa?" You step inside his apartment and slip out of your shoes, a small smile on your face when you see him watering his plants out on his balcony.

"Hey, there she is." He laughs a bit, putting down his watering pot before placing an arm on his lower back. "Was just watering my plants." He winces a bit as he steps inside and plops onto the couch.

"You okay?"

"Ah, my lower back's been bothering me, but it's not too big of a deal. Probably just need to exercise and stretch more."

"You sure? We can go to the hospital just to get it checked out."

"No, no. No need." He sits back and smiles up at you. "I am sure."

"Okay. I'll brew us some tea? I got us a few pastries from your favorite café." You sit the box down on his coffee table and pop it open, revealing a matcha cream pastry and a fruit danish with seasonal berries [which is Papa's favorite].

"Sounds good. Thank you." You smile at him and start heating up some water before seeping bags of green tea. Papa lets out a content sigh as he flips through his TV and starts watching the news while you prep. "So, wanna tell me how dinner with Yeosang went?" You briefly pause, hearing the electric kettle click and automatically shut off. You take two mugs out from his cabinet and pour the tea into each before dipping the green tea bags. You set them aside for another 3 minutes, grabbing two small plates and utensils for the pastries.

"Well, to be straightforward, it was awkward and terrible."

"Awkward and terrible. That bad?"

"I don't even know if we'll even go back to being the same, Papa."

"I'm sure you will. Just give it some time. It's all fresh so it'll feel weird for a little bit." He looks at you and observes the way you avoid eye contact with him, even while you cut the pastries in half. 

"Mhm." You hum.

"Something else happen?"

"Why do you say that?" You pass him his plate and utensils, still avoiding eye contact.

"You're avoiding your old man." He chuckles and you briefly look at him before shaking your head and returning your attention to the matcha cream pastry on your plate. "You were never a liar, so it's easy to tell when you're not exactly telling the truth and covering up."

"I don't know."

"You can tell me when you're ready."

"I am ready. I just don't know how to say it."

"You know I'd never judge you."

"I know, I know." You sit back on your knees before looking up at him. "Hm. After the dinner, I went to the convenience store near my house and drank some soju to get my mind off of dinner with Yeosang. Plus, I dunno, I didn't feel as satisfied so I grabbed some snacks. I got a pretty tipsy again and ended up accidentally texting Wooyoung instead of Jiwoo. He came to my rescue. We hung out at my apartment and um." Your bottom lip pokes out. "Things kinda just.. happened." Papa nods slowly.

"Ahhh." The response is somewhat elongated.

"I know, it's awful."

"No, it's not. But, why do you seem sad or upset about it?"

"Because I dunno where this leads us. We haven't talked. I haven't even told Jiwoo yet either and I know she won't take it well. That'll probably ruin our friendship, too." You sigh. "I'm just losing my friends one by one."

"Don't say that. They love you and care for you as much as you do. Fights will happen but it won't compare to the strong foundations you've built." He pauses. "Where do you want the whole thing with Wooyoung to lead you?" You shrug.

"Is it dumb to say that I like Wooyoung? It all started from the party and—" You let out a frustrated sigh. "I know he probably doesn't feel the same." And that's the issue for you.

"You don't know that. Maybe he needed time to form his thoughts, Y/N." You look at Papa blankly. "People who have feelings will often need time to form their words. It's too deep for them to understand quickly so they dissect carefully. Especially if they don't wanna mess things up. Give him some time before you overthink and start jumping to conclusions. Can you do that for me? Wooyoung wouldn't just leave you without answers like that."

"I guess, ya." Is all you say, shaking it off before you start crying in front of him. "Anyway, tea is ready. I'll go grab it and we can watch your favorite movies?"

"Sounds good to me." He chuckles a bit, though deep down he is a little worried about you. Himself. He's been feeling off lately, and after this, the last thing he wants to do is worry you more. 

He just hopes whatever he's been feeling will pass so it'll be one less thing on your plate.

—END

"She didn't have to tell me specifics." Wooyoung nods. "Do you find yourself feeling any different about her now that time has passed? You can tell me and it'll be safe between us."

"I like her. A lot." He does a slight head tilt. "Wouldn't blame her if she didn't feel the same, though. I handled it poorly."

"My girl's got a big heart." Papa chuckles a bit. "I know she feels the same about you, or else she wouldn't have been sulking over it." He lightly teases, making the heat rise to Wooyoung's cheeks. "Just promise me you'll take care of it. You'll take care of her?"

"I'm sorry. It was my fault in the first place. But, you have my word. I will. I'm gonna make things right after this."

"I trust you." Papa holds out his hand for Wooyoung to take, and he does. He holds it tightly, giving it a squeeze.

"For now, she still needs you, too. Promise me you'll take care of yourself?"

"I know, I should, huh? Might need you to be my personal trainer." Wooyoung laughs a bit.

"I think you're stronger and way more knowledgeable than me."

"Should we arm wrestle when I get a little better?"

"Sure, I'll let you hurt my feelings just once. I deserve it." Papa laughs just before shutting his eyes to rest again. The nurse comes in to give Papa his breakfast and meds, greeting Wooyoung as she sets it up on the table. As soon as she instructs Papa to eat his porridge and take his medicine right after, you walk in and greet her with a small smile on your face. You speak to her to check on any new updates regarding Papa and she reassures you that everything seems to be fine. If he continues to improve and remain stable within the next day or two, she thinks he can go home sooner than later.

"Do you think I can stay here again with him tonight?" You're holding a pastry in a bag and a cold, bottled americano for Wooyoung in your hands. "I-I just don't know if I can leave him alone here." The nurse looks at you sympathetically and shakes her head, her hand on your wrist.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I wish I could bend the rules even more for you, but we can't allow visitors to stay for another night. I promise he's in good hands, okay? And as soon as the morning comes, you're more than welcome to come back." You sigh and nod, trying to be understanding of the rules. You knew this would be the outcome, but mentally preparing ahead of time doesn't make you any less sad. Nervous. Anxious.

"No, it's okay. I understand. Thank you." She gives you another sympathetic smile.

"Call me if you need anything, okay? I'm here until visiting hours end tonight." You nod, watching as she walks out, leaving the three of you in the room. You hand Wooyoung his food and drink, pulling the table with Papa's food and medicine over.

"You didn't have to."

"You should eat, too." You look at him before looking at the food and unwrapping it. "Papa, you ready to eat? You gotta take your medicine soon so you can sleep a little more."

"I could eat." You chuckle a bit while Wooyoung helps him sit up properly. 

After Papa eats and drinks his medicine, he continues to fall in and out of sleep due to the exhaustion from everything that happened over the past day and overnight. The pain seems to be managed well, and the treatment plan that the doctor has him on seems to be working. It was caught at a time before things could get too deep and severely irreversible, so you're grateful for that despite the pain Papa had gone through. In between his naps, you and Wooyoung would talk about the show on TV or go on quick walks around the hospital before coming back to the room. The only time Wooyoung leaves your side is to briefly buy some food at the convenience store across the street, grabbing you an egg salad sandwich and some iced tea per your request, and grabbing himself a few other snacks in case you wanted some, too.

Which, as he expected, you ended up stealing his chips and mochi. You only left him with a bite of his favorite strawberry mochi, but he couldn't even be mad when you looked at him with wide-eyes, powder around your lips after taking the majority of the damn thing into your mouth. All he could do was sigh, suppressing the want to tease you and tickle you until you surrender [or kick him in the balls accidentally, whichever comes first].

When evening hits, you make sure Papa gets a good amount of his dinner in before taking his medication and drinking lots of water. It hurts you to leave him alone for the night, but you know he'll be coming home soon and you'll be able to spend as much time as possible with him then. You squeeze his hand and hold back your tears, reassuring him you'll be back in the morning before dragging yourself out of his room when visiting hours ends. Wooyoung trails behind, hand rubbing at your back gently as he guides you back to the car.

The ride back home is equally as silent as the drive over to the hospital, and Wooyoung is having trouble figuring out when he can talk to you about everything going on between you and him. No time ever feels like the right time, but Wooyoung knows he has to do this instead of pushing it off even more. 

"Wooyoung?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for driving me and for staying with me today." 

"It's nothing."

"It's a lot, and I really appreciate it." He looks over with a tiny smile before pulling up to your street. It's obvious Wooyoung wants to say more and you know what it is, but the assumption doesn't get solidified until he breaks the silence again; you're not entirely sure how to feel with where this is going.

Anxious? Afraid of what he might actually say to you about everything?

"Y/N." Wooyoung calls for you just as he parks his car and shuts it off. "Can we talk now please? It probably won't feel like the right time, but I'd really like to before the night ends. I don't want another day to pass like this." You look at him, hand tugging on the sleeve of your sweater as you nod.

"Okay." Wooyoung looks at you and gives you a small smile.

"Let me start off by saying I'm sorry about the way things happened. I was fucking stupid and I shouldn't have left you that morning. Truthfully, I just didn't know how to put my feelings into words because it's never been this way for me. I know it sounds cliché, but I really don't know how else to explain it. I just.. I like you. A lot. I have a lot of feelings for you and it was scary for me because it happened quick, and I wasn't sure if you felt the same. I know I should've just said it to avoid all of this in the first place, but clearly I'm bad at it." He chuckles nervously before shaking his head. "Um, anyway—I'm rambling. I'm sorry." He repeats, soft dark brown eyes on you. "Point is, I like you and there's nothing else I've been more sure of. I hope I didn't mess this up already, but I'd understand if you wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't treat you the way you should have been treated that morning, and I'm sorry for making you feel that way in the first place." His voice falls lowly, Wooyoung trying to stomach his nervousness for your response. He watches as you fiddle with your fingers before you look up at him.

"I appreciate the apology. I'm not gonna lie, it was hurtful Wooyoung. And it didn't make it any better that your sister was in my face with the 'i told you so.'" You sigh.

"I'm sorry, I know. That was never my intention, Y/N. And if you wanna do this with me, we can take this slow so that I can show you. Because I never wanna make you feel that way again."

"I feel the same way and I do want this with you, Wooyoung. I'm just scared."

"I know, and that's completely valid. But, I promise you that you can trust me to take care of you from here on out, okay? We don't have to rush into anything and just take it as it comes. But, I'm here with you no matter what. Nothing will change that." You slowly nod, the feelings slightly becoming overwhelming. 

"Okay." Is all you respond with. You're feeling happy, relieved, but also scared, anxious. It might just be everything that's been happening with Papa, but it feels good to know you aren't entirely alone. Because even if you didn't wanna admit it before, you were afraid of being alone. Despite your friends being with you over the years, there was always a sense of loneliness that was hidden in the corner of your mind. Loneliness without your parents. Loneliness without a person, your person. You tried not to look at it this way because you weren't really lacking anywhere and still had love coming from different avenues. But, you also can't lie and say you didn't think about it and how it'd feel to have your parents, or someone to call yours genuinely and wholly.

"And Jiwoo.." Wooyoung does a slight head tilt. "I won't apologize on her behalf, but whatever she said about me, I can't lie and say it isn't true. You know I haven't been the best in the past, but you mean more to me than that and I'm trying to do better this time around. It's not gonna be perfect but know that I'm trying." He lets out a breath. "She'll come around soon, too. I know you're worried about her. You know how Jiwoo is."

"I hope so."

"I'll try and talk to her."

"It's okay. I think I just need to sit her down and open up to her about all of this." He nods.

"We're okay then?"

"Yeah." You manage to push the rest of your feelings back momentarily when Wooyoung leans over to place a chaste kiss on your forehead. For a second, things do feel okay.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs. Been a long day for you." You nod. Wooyoung grabs your bag from the trunk, following closely behind you as you walk up to your studio. You still seem rather quiet and although he's happy the talk is done with and you two are okay, he can tell something else is bothering you. It isn't long before he finds out because as soon as you enter your studio, you let out a heavy sigh and drop your purse to the floor. You stand in the center, suddenly breaking down into your hands when the feeling gets immensely overwhelming, almost unbearable.

"Y/N." Wooyoung says, close to a whisper. He comes from behind and gently wraps his arms around you before turning you to face him. He pries your hands away from your face, thumbs softly coming to wipe your tears away. "Baby, hey. It's gonna be okay." He shushes you as you rest against his chest, crying and wetting his shirt. "Baby." He repeats at a whisper, shushing and cooing you in his arms. "What is it? What's bothering you?" He tenderly kisses your tears away, thumb caressing your cheeks while he looks at you with a small frown on his face.

"What if they didn't get there in time, Woo? What if he had been one minute late—" Wooyoung tuts and rests against the back of the couch, pulling you in between his legs. He continues to wipe your tears away, shaking his head.

"But, none of that happened, okay? None of that happened. You don't need to worry about that because he's still here. He's recovering and you've been there with him every step of the way. That's all that matters. He's gonna get better, he already is. He'll be better tomorrow and the next day, and so on." You sigh, looking at him before nodding. 

"I can't lose him right away."

"You won't. I promise. He's still strong and he'll get through this." He brushes the hair away from your face. "It's gonna be okay." He repeats.

"Sorry."

"Don't be, love. Why don't you get comfortable, hm? We can hang out here and watch another Studio Ghibli movie."

"Will you stay?" You ask him softly, watching as he presses a kiss to the surface of your hand.

"Of course I will, Y/N. I'm just gonna grab some stuff from my place, but I'll make it quick and come back."

"Okay." You answer, voice dipping close to a whisper. Wooyoung pulls you closer, pressing a light kiss to your lips before standing. As you grab your pajamas, Wooyoung gets a hot shower started for you, tossing a bit of your lavender epsom salt onto the shower floor to help relax you. He reassures you again that he'll be quick before shutting the bathroom door and heading out. You give yourself time to just be under the hot water, letting it ease and relax your body while you cry out all your worries and concerns— letting them all go so that you can find some peace for the time being.

Maybe the universe will take the rest into its own hands.

After taking your time in the shower, you step out and do your nightly routine— carefully lathering the lotion across your body before working on your skincare. You throw on your red flannel pajama shorts and step into a vintage Disneyland crewneck before walking out to light up some candles and search for a good movie. It's not until about 15 mins later that Wooyoung comes through the door, holding a brown bag in hand; duffle bag slung on his shoulder while he's also [apparently] sporting red flannel pajamas and a black Stussy hoodie.

"Copycat." Wooyoung points to your red flannel pajamas as you watch him show you his own hiding underneath his sweats.

"Excuse, I threw these on first."

"What if I got to my apartment before you stepped out?" Wooyoung cocks a brow up, making you roll your eyes in return. He snorts and rushes to hold you from behind, kissing you on the cheek. "It does look better on you, though."

"I thought so." He chuckles a bit before pointing at the bag. "So, I might've made a pitstop to the McDonald's drive-thru because I was craving a shrimp burger and some fries. I got you the chicken sandwich. With a side order for their special sauce?" He says in a questioning tone. "And fries!"

"How'd you remember?"

"Please, I've only had to do the order for you and Jiwoo a million times over the years." You giggle.

"Thank you, Woo." He sets his bag down and slips out of his sweats to walk around in his flannel pajamas before coming over to you in the living room.

"No problem." He points at your hair. "You can get sick." He crinkles his forehead at you before walking into your bathroom and grabbing your hair dryer hanging off of the organizer you have. He takes one of your wide-toothed combs and plops back onto the couch.

"Wooyoung." You look at him as you take the food out of the bag and set it on the coffee table. "You don't have to dry my hair."

"Well, I know you won't and I don't want you to get sick. I don't mind. Come." He pats the area in between his legs. Once you've set the empty bag aside, he sits you in between his legs before plugging the dryer into your extension cord. He switches it to the low heat setting, taking the blow dryer to your hair as he gently combs through. You set the TV onto Howl's Moving Castle, picking at your fries as Wooyoung continues to patiently dry your hair. "You can eat." He says over the noise. You hold up a fry for him to take in his mouth, continuing his motions until your hair is mostly dry, a few strands still damp but not too wet. "There." He says, shutting it off and gently combing through your hair.

"Thank you." He chuckles before neatly tying the cord the way you had it done earlier and slipping out from behind you to put it back in the bathroom. You've moved back onto the couch with your burger box in hand, pressing play to the movie as Wooyoung sits down.

"Yoooo." He smiles. "This is one of my favorites!" You look at him with your eyes squinted. "What?"

"You know, since you started growing out your hair, I knew you looked like someone but I could never put my finger on who exactly. And now it makes sense."

"What?" He repeats.

"You look like Howl." He blushes and does his high-pitched giggle, making you snort in response.

"You mean that?"

"Shut up. You just wanna hear it."

"I do." He pouts.

"I'll change it."

"I mean go for it, you can always look at him here on your couch." He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Wooyoung." You whine, flipping to Grave of the Fireflies.

"Baby." It's his turn to whine. He'd probably kick his feet and cry about it if he truly wanted to. "Why'd you turn it?! I heard this is hella sad!"

"Then, we'll cry together this time! A core bonding moment." You press play.

"Sassy." He looks at you. "I just wanna remind you that you ate my favorite mochi earlier." Wooyoung reminds you and you sigh.

"I already said sorry!" He laughs.

"I'm just teasing."

"Do you really not wanna watch this?"

"No, I do! I don't mind. I just thought the reminder would help since hours passed." You roll your eyes.

"I'm just gonna buy you another one tomorrow." 

"I'm kidding. Honestly." Wooyoung laughs. "You know what I could take instead?" You cock a brow up.

"Dare I even answer?"

"Too late, I'll take that as an answer." He puckers his lips. "I'll never bring it up again." He says in between. You giggle and succumb to his wants, quickly pecking him on the lips that leaves him smiling in a daze. "I'll never get tired of that." You shake your head and press play, the both of you finally eating away at your food as the movie gets on to a start without interruptions. 

You finish your food within the first 15 minutes, not realizing how hungry you were for good, sloppy comfort food. Wooyoung surprisingly remains quiet for a majority, only making noises and reacting to specific scenes. Eventually, the food coma hits you and you find yourself switching positions until you're snuggled up to Wooyoung. He takes the outer end of the couch while you lay on his chest from the inside. The blanket you leave hanging on the arm of the couch is now draped over you two, Wooyoung's arm around you to keep you close. When the movie hits the last 20 minute mark, Wooyoung starts spilling out his thoughts, but finds that your responses get more and more delayed as time goes on.

"Mhm." You answer late, causing Wooyoung to look down at you. You're damn near falling asleep on him, and it doesn't help that Wooyoung feels incredibly warm. Comfortable. He laughs a bit to himself before gently shaking your shoulder and pressing another kiss to your forehead.

"Falling asleep there?"

"Just wanna rest my eyes for like.. 5 minutes." You mumble, with Wooyoung carrying on to finish the rest of the movie by himself. Suddenly, his phone starts vibrating on the coffee table, making him swoop it up in a haste to avoid waking you up from your so-called 5-min nap.

"Ay!" Wooyoung rests the phone on his ear, regretting it as soon as San's loud ass voice comes through on the other end.

"The fuck are you so loud for?" Wooyoung says lowly, hoping this doesn't wake you.

"Kinda drunk. Wanna head out? We're gonna head to the bars!"

"Uh, nah." Wooyoung looks down while you shift in your position, snugging closer to him. "I'm good."

"What?" San laughs. "You're turning down bar hopping? For what?"

"Just cause. Plus, it's the weekday. You're gonna be so fucked tomorrow."

"Wow, that's new." San snorts. "Are you with Y/N or something?"

"Yeah. She's asleep."

"So, you won't even head out for a bit while she's asleep?"

"No, dude. I'm not gonna leave her." There's a silence that falls between them before San is clearing his throat.

"I get it. Okay then! Well, we'll be at our usuals if you change your mind."

"Probably not. But, have fun and be safe." 

"Thanks!" He says before he mumbles something to the rest of the group and hangs up the call. Wooyoung wraps up the movie and switches it to a college basketball documentary that's playing on the TV, only making it about 15 minutes more before he finds himself getting sleepy.

"Y/N." Wooyoung calls for you before he can fall asleep completely. "Let's get ready for bed so we can sleep." You let out a small whine before rubbing at your face, sitting up as Wooyoung follows suit. You sleepily waddle over to the bathroom to brush and floss your teeth with one eye barely open. You quickly check the clock outside, seeing that it's only about 11pm but it feels late. You feel exhausted. Wooyoung is tossing the trash away before wiping down your coffee table, shutting off the TV before grabbing his things from his bag. You quickly pee and wash your hands before walking over to the bed and letting Wooyoung take over the bathroom. 

The entire studio is dark at this point besides the bathroom light seeping from under the door in the corner, and for once, the dark doesn't seem so frightening, so lonely. 

So cold.

For once, the dark is soothing, is peaceful. For once, the dark is warmth because Wooyoung will be there no matter which direction you turn. You crawl under your covers, scooting towards the inside of your bed to make room for Wooyoung. He takes about 10 minutes before he shuts off the light and heads over to join you. He sheds off his hoodie and tosses it aside, slipping under the covers in his pajama pants and white tee. You continue to face him as he settles, his hand coming to your side to pull you a little closer.

"Wooyoung."

"Yeah, babygirl?"

"You know you don't have to stay at the hospital tomorrow, right? I'd be okay if you just dropped me off." He shakes his head.

"No, I don't mind. I'll stay."

"You sure?" You yawn.

"Mhm. I want to."

"You're gonna be so fired." He laughs.

"I've got hours, don't worry."

"Thank you."

"Stop thanking me, love. I'm only trying to take care of you properly." You sleepily smile at him while he kisses the tip of your nose. "We should probably sleep since we need to be up early tomorrow." You nod, his hand giving your side a squeeze. You initiate the kiss this time, feeling comfortable yet bold enough to give him a goodnight kiss. He holds it for a second longer before parting, chasing after your lips quickly after. You giggle when he starts to repeatedly kiss you and smiling into the kiss, almost having trouble prying himself off of you. "Okay, okay." He laughs. "Goodnight, pretty girl."

"Goodnight, Woo." You welcome yourself into his arms and almost fall asleep immediately, his arms feeling like home to you.

The next morning comes, and you and Wooyoung are off to the hospital about 30-mins after visiting hours begin. You found it hard to sleep fully throughout the night, anxious and scared a call from the hospital would come through about changes in Papa's status. But, thankfully, none of the sort happened, and Wooyoung did his best to keep you comfortable throughout the night by whispering his reassurances against your head.

Through sweet, gentle touches and squeezes. 

To your relief, Papa looks brighter and more alert when you walk in. He's already slowly going through his oatmeal, the morning news on the TV screen. He smiles when he sees the both of you walk in, loosely hand-in-hand. You happily walk over to Papa and hug him, sitting on the edge of his bed while you place a hand on his forehead.

"How'd you sleep?" You ask, his temp feeling way better than the past days.

"Good! I was in a deep sleep." You laugh.

"No pain or anything?" He shakes his head. "Good. Everything seems to be working. You might be outta here tomorrow!"

"I just might." He chuckles. "The nurse said she was gonna come back and wash me up. Was hoping to get me up and walking around to get some movement in, too."

"That's a good idea. Let's go on a walk later." Wooyoung says as he sits on the chair by his bed. You nod in agreement, watching as Papa continues to eat away at his oatmeal and fruits. 

"Do you need to go home?"

"Mm." Wooyoung looks at his phone. "I was going to just to make some food for us."

"You should go. We'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes." You give him a look, and he can't help but return the look in a playful manner.

"I'll go in a bit, but I'll be quick when I do." He tugs on your hand. "Come sit and relax." You sit in the empty chair next to Wooyoung. You continue to ask Papa about his night and if the doctor visited this morning. He says yes, sharing the optimism from the doctor despite the fact that he'll have to make a few lifestyle changes moving forward. You share in the excitement, agreeing that Papa looks way better and seems to be progressing back to his old self. You and Wooyoung let him know that you'll be there every step of the way, making sure those changes are implemented smoothly. Papa starts to tell you about his dream, and how he was hiking up a tall mountain without any issue. At the end of the trail was a beautiful view of a city, but he couldn't pinpoint where exactly. He describes all the pretty flowers blossoming on his way to the top, the sky clear and blue. He jokes about how he hopes he can make it come true soon, even if its a local hike. You chuckle, telling him he needs to take it easy for awhile until he fully regains strength and he remains stable for a good period. Wooyoung chimes in, volunteering to join him when that time comes.

When the conversation settles, Wooyoung takes this as an opportunity to head out so he can come back right away. He heads back to his apartment to whip up a good lunch and dinner [along with whatever snacks are lying around] to pack up for the two of you to grub on. While he occupies himself with food prep, he calls San to check on him and to ask him how the night went. As expected, his bestfriend is hung over as shit at work, groaning and complaining about how he drank too much and should've paced himself knowing he had work. Wooyoung laughs at him over the phone, giving him his own version of an 'i told you so' before San lowly cusses him out. He asks about you and Papa and if everything seems to be better. Wooyoung lets him know that Papa's improved, and that he was able to talk everything out with you. There's another silence that falls between them and it's because San simply isn't used to this Wooyoung. He's used to the Wooyoung that was a 'lil shit, playing his game and being up and about no matter what the time or day was. He's used to the Wooyoung that wasn't messing with serious relationships and the Wooyoung that had to give the 'i think you should go' talk after every fuck. Or the 'it was never supposed to get this serious' talk when the girls would find themselves talking to him about feelings.

It's just been a long, long time since San has seen this Wooyoung, and quite frankly, he wasn't sure if he would ever see it again. But, don't get him wrong. He is happy for you two, and it's almost like fresh air hearing Wooyoung talk about you the way he does. He's gonna have to get used to seeing less and less of him, and that's fine— as long as Wooyoung was genuinely happy.

RIP to those days, though. It was fun while it lasted!

Once Wooyoung finally finishes whipping up some food and packing it away, he grabs a few other necessities; fully expecting to be with you tonight so that he can help you with Papa's potential release tomorrow. He's glad he told work he'd be out for the week. Even though it was a bit last minute, he does have a shit ton of PTO and sick hours accumulated that he doesn't mind using if it meant he'd be with you.

God, he really fucking likes you. 

So much that Wooyoung finds a 'lil pep in his step walking back to his car, plopping the bag of food right onto his passenger's seat— buckling it up to keep it safe and steady. He blasts his music out of the parking lot, Mr. Donnell Jones coming through on his speakers with U Know What's Up. He sings along until he's rudely interrupted by a call coming through from his sister.

"Damn, Jiwoo. You couldn't call any other time?" Wooyoung clicks his teeth. "What is it?"

"I just got back to my apartment from the airport, jeez. Can I swing by?"

"No. I just left."

"Then do you think you can stop by really quickly? I got you a few things from Japan." Which, as we've learned, is Jiwoo's way of apologizing without having to flat out apologize to her brother. Wooyoung rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh, shaking his head as if she can see him.

"Can't either."

"Why not?"

"Because. I'm on the way to the hospital."

"Uh. For what?"

"Well, while you were too busy being all upsetti-spaghetti, Papa's been in the hospital."

"What? Why didn't Y/N tell me anything?! Oh my god—"

"Jiwoo, if I were her, I would not be thinking about you first either." Wooyoung furrows his brows as he continues to drive off. "Besides, you being the good ol' bestfriend you are, kicked her outta your place, remember? I don't think she necessarily feels like she can come to you right now."

"Fuck." Jiwoo whines, feeling guilty about everything. She knows she was a tad too harsh, and she knows she should've come to you first. But, she was waiting until she could see you in person to apologize for the way she acted. "Which hospital?"

"SNU."

"I'll be there soon with Joong." 

"Don't come if you plan on yelling some more."

"I'm not! I need to see my bestfriend, Wooyoung. You can't have her to yourself."

"Can't hear you—" With that, Wooyoung abruptly ends the call. He drives into the garage and finds a spot on the third level, carrying the bag of food he made in his hand before making the trek over to Papa's room. 

"You're back." Your eyes twinkle when you see him walk in and he can't help but smile.

"That, I am." He presses a kiss to your temple. "I made some food for lunch and dinner. Or else my groceries were gonna go bad."

"Wow, okay chef." You laugh. "Thank you, Woo." 

"Mhm." He responds in a sing-song tone before turning to Papa, who is now coming out of the bathroom with his nurse. "He's up."

"He is!" She answers.

"Am I allowed to take him on a walk and get some steps in?"

"No, please. Go for it. Thank you." The nurse steps aside to let Wooyoung guide Papa and the IV pole out into the hallway. The nurse watches them until they head out, returning her attention back to you once they leave.

"Is that your boyfriend?"

"Mm. A friend that's a boy?" You tease with a small laugh. She gets it though, and she knows. You didn't even have to say it because she can clearly see it through Wooyoung's actions alone.

"Well, he seems to care a lot about you and your grandfather. It's very sweet."

"He is." You give her a toothless smile. "Thank you for taking care of him. I really appreciate it."

"No problem. He's been good, so I'm more than sure he'll be out of here tomorrow." You nod, watching as she walks out of the room. You sit back and look through the bag Wooyoung brought, giggling to yourself when there's a whole bag of sour punch straws and other random snacks surrounding the tupperwares. You pick at the tiny bag of biscoff cookies, nibbling onto one as you sit back and catch up on one of the podcasts you actively follow. 

Just as Wooyoung and Papa come back into the room about 30 minutes later, you scurry off to the bathroom down the hall. At this point, Jiwoo and Hongjoong barely miss you as they turn the corner and approach the room. Wooyoung is helping Papa get situated properly back in the bed post-walk, the two talking about the episode from his cooking show that's currently playing on TV. When he turns towards the door and catches Jiwoo'a figure, he gives her a small nod of acknowledgement.

"Joong, I think an intruder snuck in with you." Jiwoo rolls her eyes while Hongjoong laughs it off, the two of them formally greeting Papa and checking in with him. Jiwoo looks around the room, making sure she hasn't missed you before turning to her brother.

"Where'd she go?"

"Bathroom." Wooyoung gives his sister a particular look. 

"Don't give me that look." She pouts a bit and he shrugs.

"What else am I supposed to do?" Is all he says before you appear in the doorway, pausing in your steps when you noticed the additional visitors in the room.

"Oh. Hi—" Jiwoo comes rushing over, pulling you into the biggest bear hug known to man. At first, you're caught off guard even though this has happened during silly little one-off fights with Jiwoo in the past. But, once you've gotten over the initial feeling, you slowly wrap your arms around her and rest in her hold.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I really am so sorry. I shouldn't have done all of that, I shouldn't have yelled and kicked you out— I'm so sorry." She mumbles against you. "You must've felt so alone. I'm sorry. I wanted to wait until I saw you in person again but Wooyoung told me Papa was here so I had to come. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so angry and said those things—" She continues to repeat until she's basically sobbing in your arms, the three men in the back minding their own business and giving you two space.

"It's fine, Jiwoo. Stop apologizing."

"No, it's not." She pulls back and looks at you with a pout, brushing your hair back. "I treated you so poorly and unfairly and I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I probably would've reacted the same way if I was in your shoes. It's fine. We're okay."

"Are you sure we are? I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Stop that. You don't need to, okay? I promise we're fine." She lets out a sigh and examines your features, somewhat relieved you don't seem too exhausted or stressed from everything going on.

"Are you and my brother good? Did you talk it out?"

"We did."

"So, is this a thing now?" She points between you and him, and you nod timidly.

"Y-yeah. It is. I hope you're not mad."

"I'm not. I'm only slightly grossed out just cause it's Wooyoung, but I'm not mad. You just let me know if he messes up ever again, okay? I'm sorry, Y/N. And wait, don't think about replacing me with him either." You snort, shaking your head at her. She hugs you tightly again before holding your hand and bringing you to the gift bags she set aside at the corner of the room. She hands you and Papa a gift bag, while shoving Wooyoung's his way. Her and Hongjoong tell you a little bit about the trip, but they don't go into too much detail before they start asking about Papa and how he had been feeling. As the conversation continues, Jiwoo notices the way Wooyoung completely changes around you [in a good way]. He's got you on his lap, hand gently caressing your arm. It looks so natural and so.. meant to be [and so not out of place] that Jiwoo can't even be mad or find a reason to justify her past actions. He cares about you, and you with him.

All she's ever wanted was for you to be happy, for Wooyoung to be genuinely happy. She's not gonna lie— it does melt her heart a bit to see it live.

They hang around for a good hour or so before Jiwoo and Hongjoong give Papa some time to rest; Wooyoung offering to walk them back to the car while you stay behind and sit with him as he falls into an afternoon nap. Hongjoong quickly runs over to the bathroom, leaving Jiwoo and her brother alone momentarily.

"You really care about her." Jiwoo says softly.

"Yeah, I do." He stuffs his hands in his pockets and kicks at the imaginary rocks below his feet.

"Don't fuck this up, okay?" She looks at him. "Seriously, I'll beat your ass if you hurt her."

"I won't, Jiwoo." He says, slightly annoyed. But, he knows she means well and is just being your bestfriend. "Could help if you had a little more hope in me, you know?"

"Okay. I'm sorry." She sighs. "So, what are your plans with her? You haven't asked her out officially, right?"

"Well, that's why I'm gonna take her out on a date once Papa's out and better."

"To where?"

"To mind your own business, that's where." He looks at her with a brow cocked up and she rolls her eyes.

"Idiot." He snorts.

"Actually.. I have a few ideas but there's this one I really like. Think she might have fun and enjoy it with me."

—TAGLIST: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @heyitsmetonid @ldysmfrst @intaksfav @wooyoungsbrat @hyukssunflower @yunhoswrldddd @gotthicbish @thespiffynerd @jaytheatiny @yoonrixx @aurorajoye @i-love-ateez @starrywoo @bitejoongie @thedistractedwriter @dalsuwaha @huachengsbestie01

[kokonut3953]

“Go to bed, Goggles!” Insomniac!Varian X Reader

__________________________

Hi, my little marshmallows! Thank you to alchemicalwerewolf for the request! This post was SUPPOSED to go out 3 days ago, on Varian’s birthday, but it’s coming out of March 27 because I’ve been REALLY sick. Like. Im struggling here 😭😭😭…AAAANYWAYS. Let’s go!!

Y/N’s pronouns: They/them

Type: Fluff, angst

Warning: Swear words

DISCLAIMER: I’m not very knowledgeable about insomnia, I might get information wrong.

__________________________

You’re over at your boyfriend’s lab. It’s 2 am as of now and you’re *trying* to get him to go to sleep.

“C’mon, goggles. When was the last time you went to sleep? I’m asking seriously.” Y/N crosses their arms.

“Hmmm…I went to bed three days ago…that’s enough, right?”

“N-No, it’s really not…” Y/N just stares.

“It’s enough for me, sweetie! I’m not even tired!” He yawns.

“V, you’re yawning. Of course you’re tired. You can’t just ignore your needs.”

“Oh please, (nickname)! I’ll be fine, no worries! It’s all worth it for alchemy!” Varian takes a sip of the hot cocoa that Y/N made for him.

“Varian, you know I can’t let you fuck around and find out what happens with no sleep. You’re going to pass out in the daytime. That’s what always happens to me. I know you only sleep like- once a week. And you know I can’t let you do that.”

Varian lets out a small yawn. “Even so, I can almost never go to sleep. I…I just can’t. Even if I could, I can’t yet. Not while my father is still encased.” An angry look is plastered on his face.

“Varian…please, listen to me. I…no matter what you do, I will stand beside you. But I can’t see you push yourself like this. You can work on freeing your dad tomorrow, okay?” Y/N brushes Varian’s hair out of his face. “Please, goggles? Go to bed?”

“Y/N…I-I’m sorry, but I can’t listen to you. I know what’s right. I’m going to free my father, I don’t care how long it’ll take. I’ll sacrifice weeks worth of sleep before I even think of going to bed for 8 hours.”

He mixes up a chemical, before pouring it on the amber…he waits. “C’mon…c-c’mon-please…” Y/N and Varian watch closely. The chemical evaporates, not doing anything. Varian’s body tenses up, before tears roll down his face. He pounds his fist on the amber.

“FUCK! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.” As Varian pounds his fist on the amber, he starts to bleed. Y/N drags him away.

“Goggles! You’re going mad! You’re not yourself right now!” Y/N grabs and hugs him.

“No…no…no no no nonononono…i-it’s not…why didn’t it work? I-I-It was supposed to work. It’s not right. I-It’s not…” Varian just stares at the chemical.

After hyperventilating for a bit, Varian hugs back.

“Y/N…I didn’t want to tell you this, but…I’m scared.”

“Scared?”

“Terrified. What if…what if I never see my father again? What if…he’s stuck here f-for years? The rest of my life, even?” *Varian starts shaking.

Y/N removes their headphones and puts them on Varian. “Varian, I know you’ll see your dad. I know you’ll find a way. You’re so smart. You can do it, I believe in you. But…out of good conscience, I can’t let you do this without going to bed. Please, Varian.”

Varian pauses “W-Will you cuddle me before I sleep?”

Y/N smiles, before kissing his cheek. “Of course I will. I won’t leave you.”

“Then…fine. I’ll go to bed…”

“Good.” Y/N picks up the 5’2 (A/N: I’M NOT JOKING, HE’S 5’2…GOOGLE IT.) boy and leads him to bed. They cuddle him tightly. Kissing his forehead.

Though Varian finds it extremely difficult, he starts drifting off to sleep.

Y/N and Varian fall asleep together. Varian sleeps for the first time in three days.

__________________________

Oooookay! We are done! alchemicalwolf, I hope that was good enough! I haven’t been writing fics for too long, oneshots are a bit tricky to me. I will get better with time!!!!

Soooo everyone, please give me more requests (in either the comments or my ask box) so I can write for you guys and improve my writing! Bye-bye for now, my little marshmallows!

[thecynthh]

confide - M.S

summery - y/n escapes to the balcony of you and matt’s room while a whole party is still buzzing under you, he finds you and lets you know that he still loves you no matter what

notes - MORE FLUFF, guys we needed more fluff, i can make a part 2 with smut in it if u whores like this one 🫶

a/n - this is me putting off smart ass 🤗

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trying to escape the madness of the party happening underneath me i choose to sit on the outdoor couch on the very high balcony i sit at. i started the mini fire pit in front of me as all the supplies for it was just in a box near the door. 

the blanket that embraces me is fluffy and soft, as much as i love matt i couldn’t breath in that horrible blanket of tension his mother threw onto me. i was drilled with questions by her knowing the reason for the excessive amount. matt went through a rough break up before me, and i can’t blame her for wanting to make sure her son doesn’t go through something like that again. 

the fire crackles and pops while i just enjoy the city lights and soft jazz that plays on the upper level of the penthouse, i lay my head down on the other seat cozying up on the bamboo woven couch, the thick padding cradle me as i feel myself being lulled to sleep. 

not long after i fall asleep im woken up by the sound of the sliding door behind me, a shadowy figure walks to the side of the couch, it was matt. 

“hi sweetheart, did you get tired?” matt says, folding over to get closer to my face, the glow of the fireplace reflects every chiselled feature in his face.  i give him a soft nod while he peels his suit jacket off resting it on the chair that is also stationed towards the fire.

“hey move your head up,” i do as i’m told and he slides into the seat on the couch my head was recently covering up, he lays my head back onto his muscular thigh letting me use him as a pillow. 

“im sorry, i was so overwhelmed by your mom,” i say shameful of when i tripped over my words and made a fool of myself. 

“yeah, nick told me about it, he already told her to calm down on the questions, he also led me here to you and i don't think my mom is the only factor of you coming up here.” he says, dipping his head down to kiss my forehead. his fingers push my hair away from my face as i turn to look up at him. 

“i don’t know matt, i feel weird. i don’t belong in this sparkly dress or these high class parties. i’m so new to all of it, and don’t get me wrong, i love all of this and you so much to keep pushing through but if i’m being honest it’s really hard for me to be down there.” i hope matt understood what i meant by all of that because it really felt good to get off my chest. 

“i get it, we grew up differently, but that doesn’t change anything between us. i dont care if you were dirty and homeless on the street as long as i knew who you were i would have picked you up, housed you and loved you forever. and i'm willing to do that right now too. i don’t care if my family is worried about me, because i know that i'm alright now. you healed me.” he cupped my cheek making sure my eyes were still connected to his while he assured me of his intentions and beliefs. 

“i know i’m not what your mom envisioned who you would be with, so thank you for all of this. from the dress to the heels and your sweet words, thank you for sharing your beautiful life with me.” i sit up and begin to straddle matt, my red dress pools around us while i take matt in for a large hug. he returns it pushing my head into his neck letting me become way more calm then i was when i came up here. 

i look back up to him with a tear escaping from my perfectly done eye make up. “don’t cry please, it breaks my fucking heart when you cry.” he kisses the tear before it can run fully down my face fully. “how about we go to bed, i’ll get you all cleaned up and all i have to do is tell nick and chris that i’m not feeling well and we can cuddle all night, sounds good?” i eagerly nod, giving an enthusiastic yes. 

he wraps my straddled legs around his torso and carries me inside, keeping me bundled up in my blanket as I'm moved to the bed, before promptly putting out the fire i started. he retreats back to me bringing one of my silk black cami tops to change into while he goes to my large vanity and brings back a soaked cotton pad to use to clean my face of running mascara and concealer. 

he gently rubs and wipes across my face seeing him extremely focused on the task in front of him. he tosses the stained pad and he lets me crawl into bed. “okay i’ll be back im just going to find chris or nick to update them, i won’t be long.” he lingers at the door handle while telling me his exact actions while he heads out the door.

i check my phone for messages and notifications while before he comes back to our room, he strips off his button up abandoning it in the hamper that crowds a corner of the room. his dress pants hang low on his hips as they fall slightly while he pulls his belt through the multitude of loops on his pants. 

he’s now just left in his plaid print boxers as he slips under the charcoal grey duvet and snakes his arms around me pulling me in, embracing me just like he said he would. his chest is flush with my back and his legs entangle with mine. he’s warm and still smells like the intoxicating cologne he adores. i take a deep breath in being very content in where my life ended up and how i’m now engaged with my fiance and now letting the rest of his family know at a party. life is great when you find your person.

taglist - @westwiing13 @comet235 @mayhem73

[somber-sapphic]

AheM 🌸 Im a secret lover for hugs so I’ll gladly accept and reciprocate :) and yep sorry I just fuLLy fully read the whole post :’) that definitely goes out to them and you and whoever gets unnecessary stupid hate. Heheh well if you don’t mind I’ll ask for something under this and it’s more than okay if you took like months just take ur time🤭 naw I’m sorry you didn’t have a great day, that’s really shit, but I’m super happy you feel better and hopefully today and tomorrow is a better day! And remember I’ve got two shoulders in case and anytime🫡💪 how’d you know? I’m like always dehydrated, dehydration is scared of me ahaha. But hey most if the time it’s always the people giving advice aren’t following it… so you better be drinking plenty of water too!! And as for the request, would it be possible to ask for a WandaNat with like pregnant reader or reader already recovering from a bad injury with prompts like ‘Ill timed’ and ‘ it’s nothing’🫣 if not that’s okay but ily thank you thank you your amazing eat drink SLEEP, take care of yourself please :)) <3

Are You Staying

⧽ Notes: Hi! So, I don't write anything for pregnant anyone, but here's a sick and hurt reader for you!

⧽Summary: Reader is injured badly after a mission, leaving them with an infection.

⧽Word Count: 1665

〔 Masterlists 〕

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You were so, so tired of laying in bed, but your girlfriends wouldn’t let you get up. Apparently, when you ignore an injury for so long that the infection turns into sepsis you are no longer allowed to make decisions for yourself. Who knew? 

Well, there you were, laying in bed, struggling to focus on the book that you were holding in slightly trembling hands. The large gash along your side was beginning to throb again, indicating that you needed another dose of pain medicine, but it made you groggy and you didn't like it. 

You were already feeling sort of fuzzy, your mind blurring in and out. Your head ached and you were starting to wonder if this was more than just the damn lingering infection. Bruce had finally taken you off the IV antibiotics but you were warned that it was vital for you to take the oral ones on a strict schedule to ensure that you didn’t get worse again. 

You rubbed your throat gently and cleared it, trying to get rid of the tickle that had taken up residence there in the past hour or so. It was when the first sneeze came that you finally connected the dots. 

The pain in your sinuses, the slightly runny nose that had required you to wipe it every few minutes, the inability to get warm, the overwhelming feeling of fatigue. It wasn't the infection. You had a cold. You had a damn cold. Of all things, you had gotten yourself sick. Your girlfriends were going to kill you. 

Deciding that it was probably best to keep them out of the loop, you put the book aside and curled up under the blankets in a last-ditch effort to sleep the bug off. Maybe if you’d noticed earlier you would’ve had time to get ahead of it, but for now, you would at least sleep. Putting off rest had probably not helped the situation. Fuck. This was going to be a very long few days. 

When you woke you were incredibly disoriented. The pain in your side was so bad you felt like you wanted to throw up and for some reason, you couldn’t move. This was wrong, this was not okay. 

You managed to sit up with a lot of effort but your head was spinning, the room tilting around you in a way that made you wonder if you should call your girlfriends. They probably wouldn’t mind, they weren’t doing anything important, they just had a lot of busy work to do. You were also supposed to be doing busy work if you felt up to it, but there was absolutely no way you could read, much less hold a pen.

A harsh fit of coughing wracked your body, your lungs burning in agony as your side screamed at you that you needed to stop, that you needed to sit still and never move again, but you couldn’t stop coughing. 

You doubled over despite the protest of your body and hacked until you finally managed to cough up a glob of something green and absolutely disgusting. You leaned over the side of the bed and spit into the trashcan with an agonized groan. 

No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t get a full breath of air into your lungs. Everything hurt, everything was miserable, and the world was definitely ending. Tears rolled down your cheeks which you were sure were flushed with fever and you were regretting not taking the pain medication earlier. Now you were in too much pain to get up and find the pills. 

You managed to roll over and grabbed your phone, gasping aloud as you pleaded with the world that your stitches stayed intact. You really didn’t want to stain your bed with any unnecessary blood, the girls would probably be upset, they loved this comforter. 

With pain blurring in your vision you managed to click on the icon for Wanda’s name and hit speaker, absolutely no way that you would be able to hold the phone up to your ear. 

“Hi sweet girl, what’s up? Are you alright?” The woman’s voice lilted over the phone, immediately calming you down. She had a way about her, her mere presence, whether in person or over the phone, always served to make you feel safer. 

“I-I need…Wanda…Wanda it hurts…” You said through quiet sobs, your words punctuated by a particularly harsh sneeze that made you cry out. 

“Okay, okay love, give us five minutes. I’m going to stay on the phone with you. Are you bleeding? Can you check for me?” She asked, you could hear that she was running, another set of footsteps behind her. 

“No.” You whimpered, desperate for them to be back. You wanted them to fix it, you wanted them to make everything stop hurting, you wanted them to magically cure your sickness, which Wanda may actually be able to do. 

“Alright baby, just stay still. Wanda and I will be there soon. Keep breathing.” That was Natasha, her voice rushed as footsteps pounded in the background. You coughed and let out a sob, curling into a ball as your eyes and nose streaming. Part of you wished that the pain would just take over so that you could pass out and stop feeling it. 

You had almost slipped into that unconsciousness when the door slammed open and you felt gentle hands on your cheeks, one of the girls pleading with you to open your eyes. You obeyed, but mostly because of the harsher tone that you were sure came from Natasha. 

You stared at their blurry figures, wondering how much of this was the fever and how much was the injury. 

“Hey baby girl, there you are. Here, just want you to take this, okay? Swallow for me.” Wanda slipped a pill into your mouth and Natasha followed it with a cool bottle pressed to your lips. You took a little sip, but the cold water grated against your throat in an incredibly uncomfortable way. Every molecule in your body was ordering you to just stop. Your body was done. 

“Oh Y/n, you’re burning up. Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you say something sooner?” The witch cooed, wiping away tears as quickly as they could. 

“I-it’s nothin’, s’nothin. J’st hurts.” You breathed, already feeling the effects of the strong cocktail that was whatever Bruce had prescribed for you. 

“Do you think the infection’s back? We’ve been making sure that they take the antibiotic, should we call Banner?” Natasha asked, speaking to you as if you weren’t in the room, literally sitting right there. Of course, you were so out of it that you may as well have been in space, floating away from reality. 

“Y/n, love, Nat’s going to check your side,” Wanda said, well aware that you weren’t listening even in the slightest as the drug kicked into your system. She could feel the heat radiating off of your skin and was absolutely panicking, but doing a good job of keeping it under control. 

Natasha very carefully lifted up your shirt and peeled back the bandage to reveal a thankfully clean, not bleeding cut with all of the stitches still intact. She let out a sigh of relief and kissed your stomach right next to the injury. 

You sneezed pitifully into the pillow and whined, looking up at Wanda with big, sad eyes. She grabbed a tissue and wiped your nose tenderly, her whole body relaxing as she took in the situation. 

“You’re sick, aren’t you?” Natasha shifted and frowned at the two of you, sitting right by your head. You shifted into her lap and nodded, muffling a fit of chesty coughs into her leg. The assassin rubbed your back while the brunette by your feet hummed her disapproval. 

“Okay, Y/n/n, let’s check your temperature and we’ll get you some medicine.” The thermometer was still there since they had been monitoring your temperature for infection reasons, but now you had a fever for a whole new reason! Your body was trying to kill you for something new!

“Open.” You glanced over at Wanda and pouted slightly, nuzzling closer to your other girlfriend, the one who wasn’t going to make you do something that you didn’t want to. You didn’t hurt anymore and you weren’t about to stay awake until the pain came back. 

“Just listen to her,” Natasha ordered, poking you in the face to get you to open your mouth. Your first instinct was to bite her, but she was too quick for that. The witch placed the thermometer under your tongue and you let it stay there, not in the mood to fight either one of the women. 

The redhead you were sitting on stroked your hair as you waited for the stick to beep, unknowingly lulling you closer to sleep. 

“102.4, that’s not great. Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Wanda murmured, scooching up on the bed so that she was laying beside you, still wearing relatively comfortable clothes. You rolled over and pressed your head into her chest, mumbling some excuse that no one could make out under your breath. 

“Okay babe, take some more Tylenol and you can sleep.” You lifted your head and opened your mouth, not caring enough to take it yourself. If they wanted you to be medicated, they would be medicating you. Natasha rolled her eyes while Wanda chuckled and she helped you swallow the pills before laying you back down. 

“You stayin’?” You slurred tiredly, cuddling up against the Sokovian. 

“Of course, we’re staying, dummy. Apparently, you can’t be trusted by yourself.” The redhead grumbled, laying down on your other side. She pulled the blankets up over the three of you and kissed your shoulder blade. Wanda kissed your forehead and you sniffled, snuggling deep into the blankets. You could deal with the cold later, for now, you just wanted to be held. 

[thepenguinclub]

Happily Ever After

romantic draco/harry, growing up together, birthday, birthday gifts, draco pov, they are in love, fluff (and angst but mostly fluff)

Wordcount: 7,830

Summary:

“Harry!” Draco exclaimed happily. He then made an effort to not be too happy. Malfoy’s didn’t get so happy to see scruffy Gryffindor’s who had obviously just come back from an off-season quidditch practice.

“Hi Draco,” Harry said softly, smile widening. His hair was even more out of place than usual, windswept and chaotic. His glasses were crooked, and he had a grass stain on his cheek.

He was exactly what Draco’s day needed.

“How was practice?” Draco asked politely.

“It was good.” Harry was still smiling, and still speaking in that soft way. It was really the only way he ever spoke, unless he needed to speak up for a teacher. Draco liked it. It made everything he said sound special. “How’s your day been?”

Draco sighed and leaned back against the wall.

“It’s been boring, Harry,” he despaired. “Nothing happened at all.”

Harry’s face attempted sympathy, but it was ruined by the fact that he was still smiling.

“I’m sorry, Draco,” he replied. “Your birthday should be very special.”

---

Draco Malfoy's birthdays, ages 12-18.

happy birthday fable my love. a gift for you. check them out at fabledfrog.

once again stepping out of my comfort zone for this fic but the other one (for all you bbc merlin fans go and check it out after this) was received well so fingers are crossed, im very proud of this mostly because i crammed it and wrote it in like five days.

i love you i hope you like it. unbetad because they are my beta. i think it's okay but if something is wrong let me know (politely. im insecure and handle criticism kind of well).

HEY LISTEN UP: jk rowling is a disgusting human being and i do not support her, her material, or her views. she is a terf and i fully support trans people, as well as condemn her antisemitic views. there is a multitude of issues with the book series, including her treatment of fat people, people of color, and others. this is me writing her characters as gay and in love because i know she would hate it, not showing support for her or anything to do with her. if you do support that, fuck right off.

WARNINGS: lucius is mentioned to be horrible but we don't actually see him, the whole buckbeak situation, descriptions of anxiety, descriptions of depression (sixth year is rough), crying, eating food, swearing

i think that's it but if i missed anything let me know!!

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June 5, 1992 - First Year

Draco’s day had been boring.

Draco’s day had been boring, and, usually, that was simply unacceptable. Draco did not do boring, because Draco was an exciting person who liked excitement. 

But this was a special day. It was Draco’s special day, his birthday, and for Draco’s birthday to be boring was beyond unacceptable, it was- it was-

It was definitely something! There was a word for how above-unnacceptable it was and Draco definitely knew it. It started with an R. Or maybe an L. 

Draco’s perfectly polished shoes made little tap-tap sounds on the Hogwarts stone as he stewed on the word that he definitely knew, various paintings and portraits calling cheerful (and/or drunken) hellos to him as he passed. This was a hallway on the fourth floor that wasn’t often used, which suited Draco perfectly, as there were often times when Draco didn’t want to be found.

Not that Draco wasn’t a social person. He was a very social person, in fact. His father had been teaching him how to work a room since he could walk a room, and his mother had always impressed upon him the importance of manners and a good social standing. So, yes, Draco was a very social person because he understood how necessary it was for one to have a place in the world.

But, sometimes, Draco got a little tired working his Slytherin common room when it was so clear that everyone else was working the room as well. Conversation was boring when everyone had eight different layers below their words, and, as Draco had already mentioned, he did not like boring things. 

Besides. The unused hallway with unused classrooms was good for other things as well.

Draco sighed aloud.

He wasn’t doing any of those things, though. What Draco wouldn’t give to duck into the old Charms classroom and add some excitement to his day. He shot the classroom a wistful look, then admonished himself.

No, it wasn’t good for him to be upset about such things. Sometimes excitement didn’t have time for him. That was perfectly fine. The fact that he even entertained the thought that it wasn’t was re- re-

Draco groaned. Still didn’t have it. 

Draco absentmindedly turned a corner, stubbornly not thinking about the word that he definitely knew in hopes it might come to him (watched pots weren’t the only things that didn’t boil if they had an audience, right?), and then let out an undignified yelp when a skinny hand shot out from behind a curtained alcove and dragged him into it.

It took him a second to regain his balance, and, when he did, he was met with a nervous-excited smile.

“Harry!” Draco exclaimed happily. He then made an effort to not be too happy. Malfoy’s didn’t get so happy to see scruffy Gryffindor’s who had obviously just come back from an off-season quidditch practice. 

“Hi Draco,” Harry said softly, smile widening. His hair was even more out of place than usual, windswept and chaotic. His glasses were crooked, and he had a grass stain on his cheek.

He was exactly what Draco’s day needed.

“How was practice?” Draco asked politely, his mother’s voice in the back of his head. Harry shrugged, which Draco’s mother would not approve of, but, then again, Draco’s mother wouldn’t approve of Harry in general.

“It was good.” Harry was still smiling, and still speaking in that soft way. It was really the only way he ever spoke, unless he needed to speak up for a teacher. Draco liked it. It made everything he said sound special. “How’s your day been?”

Draco sighed and leaned back against the wall. 

“It’s been boring, Harry,” he despaired. “Nothing happened at all.”

Harry’s face attempted sympathy, but it was ruined by the fact that he was still smiling.

“I’m sorry, Draco,” he replied. “Your birthday should be very special.”

“I know!” Draco agreed. “And nothing special happened. If I was at home, I would have eaten a cake as tall as me, and opened fifty presents! Instead I had to go to Transfiguration.”

Harry nodded, trying and failing to school his face into something serious. 

“That’s really horrible, Draco,” he said, and it occurred to Draco that Harry might be making fun of him.

“You’re laughing at me,” he whined, crossing his arms. Harry smiled again, which Draco guessed was a good thing. He liked it when Harry smiled, even if it was at Draco’s expense (although he didn’t like it too much. Malfoy’s didn’t care about whether poor Gryffindor’s smiled or not).

“Maybe a little,” Harry admitted, unashamed. At Draco’s pout, he laughed quietly, just like he talked. “Will this make up for it? I have a present for you.”

“A present?” Draco asked, perking up. He uncrossed his arms and pushed off the wall, which put him quite close to Harry, as they were still in the alcove and it wasn’t very big. This close to him, Draco could pick out the individual flecks of gold in Harry’s too-green eyes, and see the light flush that spread over the apples of his cheeks.

“Mhm,” Harry hummed and nodded, reaching into a bag that Draco hadn’t noticed was tucked in the corner. He pulled a relatively thin, small book sized, bright yellow box out and presented it to Draco, who grabbed it eagerly.

“Lemonheads?” Draco looked up from the box in surprise. Harry was still smiling, but it was all nerves, and his hands were twisting together in front of him.

“You said they were your favorite,” he said.

They were Draco’s favorite, and nobody knew that. They were muggle, and the only reason Draco had even tried it was because they were in Paris and a wizard had given him one before his father had figured out that they were muggle and therefore not worth their time.

But it had been so good , so sour and it had lasted ten minutes in Draco’s mouth, and even though he had been eight and had had much more fun wizarding candy since then, he still considered them his favorite.

Draco didn’t even remember telling Harry that story, but he must have, because no one else in the entire world knew that Draco’s favorite candy was Lemonheads.

“They are,” Draco assured him, even though his tongue suddenly felt somewhat too big for his mouth and he didn’t know what to do. If his father saw him now, he would say he was- “Reprehensible!”

Harry jumped a bit, and tilted his head.

“What?”

“Nothing, sorry.” Draco tore into the box of muggle candy, mind sated now that he remembered the word. “I just remembered something. Really, Harry, I can’t believe you got these for me.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “How did you get these for me?”

Harry shrugged again.

“I had Hermione’s parents pick them up for me,” he said. Draco nodded, not really listening as he pulled out one of the yellow hard candies from the box. He popped it in his mouth and smiled at his friend.

“Thank you, Harry,” he said, not even having to think of his mother for those manners. Really, he couldn’t think of any present that he had ever received that he liked more. (Except for the season tickets to every Puddlemere game, but he wasn’t sure anything could beat that.)

“Of course, Draco.” Harry shrugged again. “I know it’s not how your birthday would usually go back at the Manor, but I wanted to get something you liked.”

“Really,” Draco insisted. “It’s perfect. Do you want to try one?” He held out one of the candies, which Harry looked at for a second before taking. His face screwed up spectacularly when he put it in his mouth, and Draco laughed uproariously at it.

“Draco, those are so sour, how do you like that?” Harry asked, astonished. His words sounded weird as he struggled to talk around the candy.

“I don’t know, I like sour things.” If he was Harry he would have shrugged, but Malfoy’s did not shrug.

“Weirdo,” Harry said seriously, pressing on Draco’s shoulder in what was probably supposed to be a friendly push. Harry was too careful for that, though, so it was just a warm press of his hand through Draco’s uniform. 

“You’re the weirdo,” Draco replied haughtily, still giggling at the face Harry had made.

“Sure,” Harry agreed. He was smiling again. “Happy birthday, Draco.”

Draco beamed at him.

(His stomach dropped and heart squeezed painfully when the news of Harry’s hospitalization and adventure against the Dark Lord made their rounds, and it was the first time Draco felt real, true fear.)

June 5, 1993 - Second Year

Draco almost forgot it was his birthday. 

Actually, he did, right up until his mother sent the usual birthday chocolates at breakfast. Draco then had to spend a few minutes trying to figure out why he forgot his own birthday.

Okay, well, he knew why. Draco had been sick with worry for Harry since it got out that he had gone who-knows-where and saved the girl Weasley. The Hogwarts rumor mill was surprisingly bereft of details, but, knowing Harry, it was something ridiculously dangerous. Draco at least knew he got hurt doing whatever it was, because his arm was wrapped tightly in white bandages, and his normal warm brown skin was clammy and three shades paler, only just starting to regain its natural color, one week later.

As Harry’s best friend, Draco usually was well-informed on whatever recklessly Gryffindor thing Harry had gotten up to, and, while he still worried, was reassured enough by the reckless Gryffindor himself.

However, as Harry’s secret best friend, Draco also was left to the fates of how well Harry could get away from his adoring fans, and, ever since whatever happened, he hadn’t been able to find any time alone.

He could, of course, sneak out at night with his invisibility cloak, and he did offer in the one note he had managed to slip Draco, but Draco had immediately refuted that idea. A blind man could see how much Harry needed his sleep, and Draco would rather lose his own sleep worrying about him than take away Harry’s.

Long story short, Draco was a little strung out, which had made itself apparent when he had stared at his mother’s birthday wishes uncomprehendingly for a half a minute before actually realizing what she was saying.

But, really, his birthday didn’t change much. It was any other day. They had exams to study for, so, despite it being a clear, beautiful June Saturday, Draco and the other Slytherin’s trudged their way to the library and claimed as many tables as they could get their hands on.

Draco then spent three hours with his nose in a book. Many books, in fact. He scribbled notes half-heartedly on a parchment, but he had always been good at retaining information if he read it a few times, so he started a circuit of two books per subject. 

By just before lunch time, he had read through Transfiguration, Herbology and Potions and was starting Charms. Well, he would have been starting Charms, except when he emerged from the end of his Potions text and looked for a Charms book, it wasn’t on the table.

Draco groaned to himself, but stood up anyway. His unused limbs ached for a second, but the pain dulled as he started walking. Draco cracked his neck absentmindedly as he wandered the shelves towards the Charms section. The books he needed were just in sight when a hand clamped down on his robe sleeve and started pulling.

Draco, now accustomed to this, just followed where the hand pulled him, until he ended up in an aisle towards the back of the library that contained… something. Those titles weren’t in English, French or Latin. 

“Hi,” Harry greeted him softly. He didn’t smile, which stirred the pit of worry in Draco’s stomach.

“Hi,” he replied anyway. “Are you okay?”

That got a little smile.

“Yes,” Harry answered. “I think so. Just recovering.”

“From what?” Draco checked his friend over surreptitiously, eyes lingering on his bandaged arm. Harry reached out and took Draco’s hand with the uninjured one, which caused Draco’s gaze to immediately snap to where Harry was intertwining their fingers.

Draco’s pale white fingers looked stark against Harry’s golden-brown, but Draco liked it. He ignored the way his cheeks started to heat.

When he looked up, Harry’s cheeks were flushed faintly, but he was finally giving Draco a real, genuine smile.

“I’ll tell you later,” Harry told him. Draco opened his mouth to argue that they had plenty of time now, and, even if they didn’t, Harry could easily tell him a short version at least, but Harry continued before Draco could protest. “I wanted to make sure I talked to you today, though.”

Draco sighed through his nose. Really, his birthday was insubstantial when Harry had probably had a near-death experience just a week ago. Draco told him as much, but it only caused Harry to shake his head firmly.

“No, Draco, your birthday is very important,” he insisted. “Besides, I got you your present ages ago, so I have to give it to you.”

Draco tried not to, but the mention of a present caught his attention, and he peered at Harry curiously despite himself.

“Oh, alright,” Draco acquiesced. “I suppose that makes sense.”

Harry smirked at him, to which Draco scowled. Harry then let go of Draco’s hand, which was very sad indeed, and left Draco feeling cold and bereft where they had been touching. He tried not to show it, and instead tucked his hand into his robe pocket as he watched Harry pull out a long, thin box from his bag. 

“Here you go,” Harry said unnecessarily as he handed it to Draco, which Draco immediately knew meant he was nervous. Draco didn’t know why. Didn’t Harry know that Draco would like anything he got for him?

Draco opened the box without flourish, and immediately felt his eyes go wide and mouth drop open in an incredibly indelicate reaction, but couldn’t bring himself to care.

In the box was a long silver chain with a simple star pendant that was lined in small shining diamonds surrounding an emerald inlaid in the center. Draco stared at it, then looked back up at Harry slowly. 

Harry was biting his lip, watching Draco with uncertain eyes. Well, that wouldn’t do.

“Harry,” Draco started slowly. He licked his lips, trying to think of the words to express what he was feeling, “this is incredible.” Mmm, no, not the right ones.

“Yes, well,” Harry stuttered slightly. “It was very pretty, I thought, and you’re-” Harry’s face turned a very bright red. 

“I’m what?” Draco asked, staring back down at the necklace, and then back at Harry when he took a while to answer.

“You’re pretty, too,” he muttered, barely loud enough to be heard. Draco felt his face heat up, to the point that he was sure he was redder than Harry. “And, you know, Draco is a constellation and it’s a star,” he said, louder.

“Oh,” Draco replied, for lack of something better. “I mean, thank you.”

Harry somehow blushed brighter, but he nodded hesitantly. “So, you like it?”

Draco clutched the box to his chest and tried to sound as earnest as he felt.

“I love it.” Draco looked down at the necklace and carefully extracted it from the box, watching it as it dangled from his fingers. He focused back on Harry, who was watching him with a soft expression on his face. “Would you put it on me?”

Harry nodded again, more confidently and with a grin. He reached out and took the necklace from Draco, who turned around.

The necklace came over his head and rested on his chest, and Draco felt the feather light touch of Harry’s fingers on the back of his neck, which sent shivers down his spine.

“Done,” Harry said quietly, and Draco turned around slowly, coming face-to-face with his best friend.

“I love it, Harry,” Draco repeated, because Harry needed to know, needed to know how much it meant to him that Harry had seen something so beautiful (and expensive) and thought of him.  

Harry smiled, really smiled, and Draco couldn’t do anything but smile back.

“I’m glad,” he said, and he reached forward to entwine their fingers again. “Happy birthday, Draco.”

Draco squeezed his hand.

(It was all his father’s fault, and he hated his father and hated that he could be a part of something that had hurt the most important person in Draco’s life.)

June 5, 1994 - Third Year

Draco was miserable.

In less than a day, that poor hippogriff was going to be executed, and it was all his fault.

“It’s not your fault, love,” Harry whispered into his ear, cuddling him closer. Draco was curled up in his lap, head tucked into the crook of his neck and legs sprawled out in front of them, tangled together.

“I’m the reason it’s happening,” Draco muttered back, nuzzling Harry’s exposed neck. Harry heaved a sigh, and Draco briefly felt very guilty for being so despondent on him, but then remembered that Harry had told him he liked taking care of Draco and settled.

“Really, Draco,” Harry insisted. “It’s all your father. Not you.” He turned his head so he was speaking into Draco’s hair, pressing a kiss there.

That was one good thing that had come out of their awful year, a year when Harry was being actively hunted by a crazed madman and Draco was forced into acting like even bigger of a dick than he had been. He hated his father, hated him for putting Draco in this position. 

But it was nice, Draco readily admitted, not having to hide his feelings from Harry anymore, and their mutual confession wouldn’t have happened if Draco hadn’t felt the need to rile up the hippogriff or risk exposure.

Harry held Draco in silence for another few minutes before he finally spoke again.

“I have something for you,” he whispered, tilting Draco’s head up so he could see Draco’s face. “A present.”

The idea of a present sparked something warm in Draco’s chest like always, but it was subdued by the weight of crushing guilt. Harry frowned at Draco’s lack of reaction, but said nothing, instead reaching over to his bag and pulling out a small box.

He presented it to Draco silently, and Draco took it slowly, with slightly trembling fingers. He carefully lifted the lid.

A ring. Thick and silver, with a flat top and an engraving on it. Draco the box up carefully to the floating ball of light Harry had cast when they had first entered the abandoned classroom, and it floated closer to him obediently.

The engraving was the letter ‘B’ written in an old-fashioned script, and there was a bird with spread wings behind it, stark in a sharp black color that highlighted the letter.

“The Black family motto is ‘Toujours Pur,’ which means ‘always pure,’” Harry said quietly. Draco looked up at him, but couldn’t read the expression on his face. “Obviously not good. Their family crest is a terrifying ordeal, honestly, but I did like the crows on it. I wanted-” 

He paused, then sighed. 

“All I’ve ever wanted in life was a family.” Harry brought a hand up to toy with Draco’s hair seemingly absentmindedly. Draco knew he was trying to distract himself from what he was saying. “I hate the thought that you’re so amazing and you have to deal with such a horrible one. Your father is such an awful person, and you don’t deserve that, love. But your mum isn’t, really. I’ve never met her, obviously, but the way you talk about her makes her seem like the most wonderful, most loving mother in the whole world.” 

Harry’s eyes landed on Draco’s, and he carded his fingers through his hair. 

“That’s the kind of family you deserve. Not your dad, your mum. And I know you’ve got just about a billion things with the Malfoy crest on them, but I figured you might not have so much of your mum’s side of the family.” Harry nudged the hand that was holding the ring box, drawing Draco’s gaze to it. “So, I did some research when I was stuck in Diagon over the summer. The black family bird is the crow, which is a harbinger of death. Quite morbid, but it’s peaceful too, I think. To have an escort when your time comes.”

“You’re being quite philosophical, Harry,” Draco finally croaked out, voice sounding wrecked. Harry shrugged under Draco and offered up a half-grin.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about death,” he offered in explanation. “With this whole Sirius Black thing. How my parents died, how I might die. And about family, when it comes to my parents.” Harry smoothed a hand over Draco’s forehead, brushing away the stray strands of hair that hung there. “I told you. I want you to have something that you can think of as ‘family’ that also doesn’t immediately bring your dad to mind.”

“But-” Draco swallowed when his voice came out sounding even worse than a moment ago. He tried again after a second, and it was only marginally better. “But what about Sirius Black? He’s in the Black family too and he’s-”

“I know,” Harry interrupted. “But he doesn’t speak for you or your mom. You can make your own definition of the Black family. You can do whatever you want.”

And that was that. Draco was officially crying. It was messy, too, how embarrassing. 

Harry was lovely about it, though, just cradled his face softly and kissed his forehead, murmuring comforting words that Draco didn’t comprehend but helped regardless.

“Merlin, how are you so perfect,” Draco sobbed noisily, startling an aggressive snort out of his boyfriend.

“I practiced that speech in my head for hours,” Harry whispered loudly, causing Draco to laugh wetly. Draco stared down at the ring in the box, winking innocently in the floating white light. He very carefully pulled it out of the velvet, dropping the box, before sliding it almost reverently onto his left index finger, the ring magically resizing to fit perfectly. It was cold and heavy and Draco loved it and he loved what it meant and he loved Harry so, so much (they had only been together for a little while, though, so he kept that last one to himself).

Instead, Draco threaded his fingers through Harry’s, who squeezed their joined hands comfortingly. Draco admired the clean silver wrapped around his own long, piano player finger as it was surrounded by Harry’s dark and calloused hand. 

“You’re perfect,” Draco repeated, needing Harry to understand. He wasn’t sure if he really got the message across (he wasn’t sure he could communicate the all-consuming love and adoration he felt), but Harry pressed a dry kiss to Draco’s wet cheek.

“Happy birthday, Draco,” he whispered, lips moving against Draco’s skin.

Draco turned his head and kissed him. 

(Two days later, Harry regaled Draco with the tale of Buckbeak’s freedom and Sirius’ innocence and Draco twisted the Black family ring on his finger and felt proud, proud of who he was and who he could be.)

June 5, 1995 - Fourth Year

Draco didn’t know what to expect.

Harry had pulled him to the side earlier, gave him a quick kiss and birthday wish, and then informed him to go to their usual classroom after curfew. So far, Draco’s presents had been everywhere from innocent to complimentary to emotional, so, yes, Draco was a bit wary of whatever Harry had gotten him this year, if only to avoid the embarrassing reaction that he had had last year.

When he walked into the classroom Harry was already there, sitting on the professor’s desk at the front of the room next to a cake with white frosting and fruit decorations, big enough for two. Draco’s chest expanded with warmth, and he was smiling as he made his way to stand between Harry’s legs.

“Hello, love,” Harry greeted, still speaking softly like he always had despite the leagues of confidence he had gained. 

“Hello,” Draco replied, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck. “This all for me?”

“‘Course.” Harry set one hand on Draco’s hip and nudged the cake with the other one. “Vanilla with honey buttercream and candied fruit.”

“My favorite,” Draco added unnecessarily. They both knew it was his favorite. He just loved the idea that Harry had remembered his favorite cake and gotten it for him, and he wanted to say it out loud.

“‘Course,” Harry repeated, pressing a quick peck to Draco’s cheek before pushing him lightly away. Draco crossed his arms and pouted, drawing a snort. “Cake first, kisses later,” Harry admonished.

“What about kisses now, cake now, and kisses later?” Draco asked innocently as Harry set two forks on the plate. He narrowed his eyes at Draco.

“Don’t push it, birthday boy,” he warned. Draco laughed lightly and went to sit on the desk on the other side of the cake. 

They ate in companionable silence, broken by quiet words and hushed giggles. Eventually, when there was only the last of the candied fruit left on the plate and Harry was watching Draco systematically spear each one with his fork, he brought out a box.

He handed it to Draco with an innocent smile.

“This isn’t going to make me cry again, is it?” Draco asked suspiciously after finishing his fruit, taking the box. Harry’s eyes twinkled with mirth.

“No,” he assured. “No emotional speeches or breakdowns this year.”

Draco, mollified, opened the box curiously.

A cloak pin. It was silver, and in the design of a dragon that was extraordinarily detailed in its carving. Draco looked up at Harry happily.

“It’s gorgeous,” he said, lifting the pin to watch it shine against the floating lights. He looked back at Harry to see something that could only be described as a shit-eating grin. Draco squinted at him, then held the pin out further away from himself. “What?” he demanded. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing,” Harry answered honestly, eyes shining. “Look closer at it.”

Draco made sure his suspicion was made clear as he reluctantly brought the pin closer to him. It took him a second. Then he realized. He sighed heavily, and Harry burst into delighted laughter.

“A Hungarian Horntail,” Draco groaned. “As if I haven’t seen enough of those for three lifetimes.”

Harry wiped the side of his eyes as he giggled, and Draco valiantly tamped down on the smile that was trying to emerge.

“You’ll think of me every time you see it,” Harry informed him. Draco rolled his eyes.

“I’ll think about you racing around on a broom trying to get yourself blasted to smithereens as my poor heart tried to jump out of its chest, you mean,” he corrected drily. Harry collapsed in another fit of laughter. 

“You’re so dramatic,” Harry managed to say through his gasping breaths. Draco squawked ( not dramatically) and Harry fell off the desk. 

Draco looked down at his boyfriend with a mixture of amusement and exasperation. He set the cloak pin back in its box carefully (it really was beautiful) and gracefully slid off the desk, kneeled down next to Harry, and then flopped directly on top of him. Harry wheezed.

“Oi!” Harry exclaimed, poking his side. Draco wriggled on top of him until he was face-to-face with his boyfriend. He raised an eyebrow.

“Are you complaining?” he asked, shifting to get more comfortable. Harry bit his lip in an attempt to stop smiling.

“Only a little,” Harry told him, which earned him a pinch to his shoulder. He yelped, and Draco laughed at him.

“I was promised kisses,” Draco informed him seriously. Harry nodded, mimicking his seriousness. He was still smiling, though, so he didn’t do it very well.

“Who am I to deny you such a thing?” Harry pulled Draco down so their lips met, and Draco sighed into the kiss. Harry didn’t let it get very far, though, before he was pulling away, eyes bright.

“Happy birthday, Draco.”

Draco kissed him.

(Nineteen days later and Harry stopped laughing. Stopped smiling. Draco didn’t get to kiss him before they were forced to go their separate ways.)

June 5, 1996 - Fifth Year

Draco was on Inquisitor duty.

His birthday had been horrid, just like every day that year had been horrid. Umbridge had only gotten worse, and with her Draco was forced to get worse, until the things he was forced to say and do to innocent students left him losing his meals and staying up at night.

Harry tried to assure him that Draco was only doing what he had to. That anyone in his position would do what he was doing just to stay alive, to stay on the good side of both his father and the Dark Lord. Draco agreed, which was why he was still going along with it, but it was horrid.

On Draco’s sixteenth birthday he made a first year Hufflepuff cry, called a third year a slur she was undeserving of, and volunteered to stay out past curfew on Inquisitor duty because he wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway.

So it was after curfew and Draco was wandering the silent, dark halls of Hogwarts aimlessly, hating himself.

A hand landed on his shoulder, and Draco tensed, turning to look at where it was coming from. There was no one there.

“What is wrong with you?” Draco hissed, looking back and forth desperately, trying to remember if anyone was supposed to be coming in this direction. The hand squeezed his shoulder comfortingly, then slid down his arm to grab his hand, pulling him the few steps it took to get him into an empty classroom. The hand let go, the door closed, and then Harry was appearing, invisibility cloak pooling around his feet.

He turned and warded the door before Draco could remind him. They had both gotten quite good at the alarm and silencing wards that they learned in order to be able to meet with each other.Still, between their OWL work, Draco’s extra duties and Harry’s extra detentions, they hadn’t been able to meet much at all. Draco missed Harry like he would miss a limb, and found it immediately easier to breathe when Harry turned to look at him with a small smile, as if a weight he wasn’t aware of had lifted off his chest.

“You’re insane,” Draco told him, crossing his arms. “This isn’t safe, Harry.”

“I was careful,” Harry assured him, striding across the room to stand in front of Draco. “And there was no way I was missing your birthday.”

Draco sighed, letting his arms drop.

“Harry-”

“No,” Harry interrupted, face resolute. He had grown, this past year. He was older, more handsome than cute, and he was stronger, both physically and emotionally. When Harry was serious about something, you listened. So Draco listened. “I have to be fast, but I wasn’t going to miss it, Draco.”

Harry took a deep breath, as if he was preparing himself for something. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. He held it out so Draco could see it, then flipped the lid up. Draco’s breath caught in his throat.

Rings. Two rings. One was a polished gold, one a polished silver, with no other designs.

“You’re the most important thing in my world, Draco,” Harry said quietly, “and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t know if both of us will make it out of this war, but I want to have something that- that represents that for us, until we can get the real thing. So.” He lifted the box a little. “Promise rings.”

“Harry,” Draco breathed, sounding a little like he’d been punched in the stomach. He felt a little like he’d been punched in the stomach.

“You don’t have to take them if you don’t want to,” Harry continued, looking nervous. “But you’re, um. You’re it for me, Draco.”

“You’re it for me too,” he managed to reply. Harry smiled, big and full, and plucked the silver ring out of the box, handing it to Draco, who cast a Lumos to see it better.

On the inside there was an engraving. Until after. ♡

Draco looked up questioningly. 

“The rings are just until after the war,” Harry explained easily, pulling a gold chain out of his pocket and threading the gold ring onto it. “Until we can get married for real.”

He closed the chain and put it over his head, tucking the ring into his jumper when it fell onto his chest. He didn’t have to explain that one. Draco wore a multitude of rings, including the Black one Harry had gotten him when they were thirteen, and a plain silver one wouldn’t draw any attention. Harry, however, wore no jewelry and wouldn’t get away with a gold ring without questions.

Draco stared at him. Marriage had always been held over his head as this inevitable thing, this thing that would happen with a woman and something that he had dreaded.

But when Harry said marriage, it was a light at the end of a tunnel. It was something for after, something to live for.

Merlin, Draco loved Harry more than he could handle.

“I love you,” Draco said, choked up, and Harry softened, stepping closer to Draco until his hands were warm on Draco’s arms and he was pressing a kiss to Draco’s nose. He carefully took the ring from Draco and slid it on to Draco’s left middle finger, only one finger away from where another ring would be someday.

“I love you, too,” Harry whispered to him, breath fanning his face. He kissed Draco, sweet and slow, and Draco loved him so much.

He pulled away too early (then again, Draco would have been happy to stay in Harry’s arms, kissing him, forever) and stepped back, going for his invisibility cloak.

“I told you I would be fast,” Harry smirked. Draco huffed and rolled his eyes. 

“Goodbye, Harry,” he replied with a mocking wave in an attempt to reign in his rampant emotions. 

“Bye, Draco.” Harry smiled at him one more time, swinging the cloak over his shoulders, disappearing except for his floating head. “Happy birthday.”

Draco watched him leave, heart full and ring already warm on his finger.

(Sirius died and Draco held him through it, loved him through it, and until after became a motto between them that got them through the worst of times.)

June 5, 1997 - Sixth Year

Draco was tired.

Draco was so tired. All the time. He walked in an exhaustion-fueled daze. He spaced out more than he focused. He ate when he remembered to, which was rare. His grades dove, mostly because he couldn’t stop being tired long enough to actually do the assignments. 

He was pale and shaking and gaunt, he knew. He avoided mirrors, but he still knew. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered.

The only thing that mattered was black and twisted and evil, and it was branded on him. Forever. Draco would be tired forever.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to sob and rage that it wasn’t fair, that he didn’t deserve any of it, but Draco was too tired. He didn’t have the energy to do anything but lay down and accept it.

Harry cried. He cried for Draco, he said. He felt for Draco. He was constantly angry, the aggressive burn to Draco’s placid numb. Draco watched him push away his friends, push away his teachers and his mentors, all because he was feeling for Draco. Draco wanted to be upset about it, but he was too tired.

Draco had given up on his mission before he had even gotten it. His mother had assured him that she had an escape plan, that they couldn’t use her as leverage, but the thought of her life on the line still sent bile up Draco’s throat. Still, he couldn’t kill Dumbledore. Even ignoring the fact that he didn’t want to, Draco couldn’t. There was no way to.

June came. Draco wanted time to stop, so he wouldn’t have to face the horror of going home knowing that he had failed in something he didn’t want to succeed in and suffer the punishment for it.

He didn’t do anything about it. He was too tired to.

“It’s your birthday,” Harry murmured in his ear. They were in their position, with Draco curled on Harry’s lap, head tucked into his neck. It was night time, and they were meeting in their classroom. 

Draco didn’t reply. He hadn’t known, but it wouldn’t have changed anything.

“I got you something,” Harry continued. He didn’t move. Draco didn’t either. He stared at a small crack running through one of the stones in the wall.

After a moment, a flat box the size of a book levitated out of Harry’s bag. Wordless, wandless magic was a feat a lot of grown wizards didn’t achieve, but, of course, his Harry could do it. Draco was so proud of him. He wished he could say it, but he didn’t have the energy to do more than shift his gaze to the box as it floated towards them.

Harry grabbed it out of the air with the hand that wasn’t resting on Draco’s hip. He opened the box and dropped it to the side, taking out whatever was inside and flipping it over, presenting it to Draco without a word.

A solid silver picture frame. The picture in it was familiar. A seven year old Draco was sitting on his mother’s lap, posing for a picture in the luscious Manor gardens. Draco was squirming a little, and Narcissa had a small, amused smile that she was directing at him. The picture looped after a few seconds.

Draco’s hands were shaking as he reached for it, but that wasn’t new. He took it carefully, tracing his mother’s beautiful face lovingly.

“Narcissa sent it to me,” Harry told him softly. Draco experienced a flicker of confusion. “We’ve been writing to each other since third year, actually.”

That was surprising enough to get him to tilt his head up to look at Harry. Harry was looking down at him, face unreadable but gaze warm.

“I wrote her after you told her about us,” he explained without prompting. “Introducing myself. She was lovely, just like you had always told me she was. We’ve been writing ever since. I told her I needed her help with a gift for you and she was more than happy to help.”

Draco loved Harry. Of course he wrote to Draco’s mother, because he knew how important she was to him and of course he wanted to make a good impression. Harry was perfect.

Draco looked down at the frame. Harry lifted his wand and rested it on the top of it.

“Revelare picturam unus,” he said, and the picture of Draco and Narcissa faded into white. It was quickly replaced with a new picture, which was of a slightly younger Harry, facing the camera with a wide grin and holding a sign that said ‘I LOVE YOU DRACO ❤’. The Harry in the picture waved over the sign, then brought his hand to his lips to blow a kiss. The picture looped.

“What-” Draco croaked in a whisper. He didn’t need to finish. Harry squeezed his hip comfortingly.

“There are thirty pictures.” After three more loops of Harry blowing Draco a kiss the picture faded back to the one of Narcissa and Draco. “This is the default, to avoid suspicion. But, when you’re alone, all you have to do is put your wand on the frame and say ‘Revelare picturam’ and then a number between one and thirty in Latin and it’ll show that picture.”

Draco stared at the frame for another few seconds, drinking in his mother’s face, before actually moving, sitting up in Harry’s lap and staring at him. He gave Draco a small smile, hand steady on his hip. Draco wet his lips a bit and cleared his throat, attempting to rid it of the lump that had formed.

“Thank you,” he whispered, trying to pour all of his feelings into the words. Harry widened his smile, showing a flash of teeth.

“You’re welcome, my love,” he replied. “I don’t know what’s going to happen next year, where we’ll be or what we’ll be doing, but I always want you to have a reminder that there are good things.” Harry brought his free hand to poke Draco lightly in the chest. “You’re a good thing. We’re a good thing.”

“You’re perfect,” Draco said back, because it wasn’t hard to say something so true. Harry’s cheeks pinked, and he continued smiling.

“I love you,” he replied, cupping Draco’s cheek in his palm. “Happy birthday.”

“I love you,” Draco told him, and it was the easiest thing he ever said.

(Those thirty pictures and the thought of the person who gifted them to him were the only things that got Draco through the worst year of his life.)

June 5, 1998 - Seventh Year

Draco woke up warm and comfortable.

Sunlight streamed onto his face, and he had to blink a few times to adjust to it. He stretched out under the heavy duvet, enjoying the feeling until he hit the cold spot on the other side of the bed. Draco frowned over at it, but his confusion didn’t last long. 

A knock on the door, and then Harry was coming in, clad in flannel pajama bottoms and a faded red shirt. He grinned when he caught sight of Draco, no doubt rumpled and sleepy-looking.

“Good morning, love,” he greeted, wasting no time in climbing into the bed and collapsing on top of Draco, who groaned.

“Good morning, Fat Friar,” he wheezed, prompting a bark of laughter from Harry. He did roll off of Draco, landing on his side and tucking his arm under his head so he could look at Draco.

“Do you know what day it is?” Harry asked curiously. Draco furrowed his eyebrows in thought, trying to go over what they had done that week. Just meeting with friends, working on charities, doing interviews. 

“Thursday?” Draco guessed, reasonably confident he was close.

“Friday,” Harry corrected with a grin. “Friday, June 5th.”

Draco let out a breath.

“Oh,” he sighed. “I forgot.”

“I can tell,” Harry said, amused. Draco whacked his arm softly. Harry just kept on grinning at him. “I got you something.”

“Surprise, surprise,” Draco deadpanned, even though a spark of warmth raced through his body. He loved getting gifts, loved getting them from Harry. 

Staring at Harry’s limp body had turned Draco’s world on its head and then shot it just as dead. Harry was Draco’s life, he was Draco’s reason, he was everything. Learning he was alive was euphoric, it was the biggest shock and relief that he would ever experience, and Draco swore that he would appreciate everything about Harry, remember everything, that he would never let a second go by when he wasn’t aware of and loving Harry.

“Shush,” Harry laughed. He didn’t do anything, though, didn’t pull out any box or grab Draco’s hand to pull him somewhere. Just settled and stared at him, so adoring it made Draco flush slightly. He smiled at it, then breathed deeply. “This one has a little speech to go with it, if that’s okay.”

“Don’t they all have a speech?” Draco teased, ignoring the ball of emotion in his chest.

“The cloak pin didn’t,” Harry pointed out. “Or the Lemonheads.”

“Ah, the Lemonheads,” Draco reminisced, thinking back to their eleven year old selves. “That was the best one.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Harry told him seriously, ruining it a moment later by snickering. Draco reached over and grabbed his hand. 

“Well, get on with it,” he prompted. “I’m waiting for a speech.”

Harry smiled, and said nothing for a moment.

���I knew I was going to die,” he finally said. Draco stopped breathing. “I thought it during our fifth year and knew it during our sixth, and I accepted it in our seventh. I knew I would have to sacrifice myself for the world and I- I couldn’t say goodbye to you, Draco, because if I did I wouldn’t have gone through with it.” Harry squeezed Draco’s hand, his smile distinctly more watery than before. “I would have given up it all for you, Draco. But I did it, and then I came back to you. For you. I live for you, I do everything for you, because you are everything, Draco, you’re everything to me. You’re it for me.”

Harry breathed in shakily, but he was grinning so wide and Draco knew what was happening because he remembered those words, and that knowledge was a Lumos in his chest. 

“I know we’ve technically been engaged since we were fifteen, but I figured we could make it a bit more official,” he continued, and then he was reaching into his pocket and pulling out a little black box that he flipped open to reveal a beautiful ring with twisting silver lines and a smooth black onyx in the center. Draco recognized it immediately as a Black heirloom.

“So, Draco Malfoy, would you do me the unbelievable honor of becoming your husband?” Harry asked. A tear slipped down the bridge of Draco’s nose, and another one down his temple, because he was still laying down sideways in his fucking bed and it was his birthday and Harry was proposing with a Black heirloom and Draco loved him, loved him so much.

“Yes,” he sobbed, then cleared his throat immediately with a little laugh, which Harry mirrored. “Yeah, yes, of course, Harry.”

Harry grinned so wide it looked like it hurt. He lifted Draco’s hand up to slide on the ring, which fit perfectly, of course. Draco couldn’t stop looking between it and Harry, couldn’t stop thinking about how happy he was. He felt like he could burst with it. 

He lunged forward, tackling Harry onto his back and laughing with him. He leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together and breathing in, staring into his fiancé’s gorgeous green eyes.

“I love you so much,” Harry whispered, warm air ghosting across Draco’s lips. 

“I love you, too, Harry.” Draco pressed forward into a kiss that warmed him from his hair to his toes. Harry broke away after a moment to give him a blinding smile.

“Happy birthday, Draco,” he said, kissing him again.

Draco had never been happier in his life.

(‘Happily ever after’ had never been in the cards for Draco, but he managed to achieve it anyway.)

----------

long authors note incoming because this is most likely the only hp fic i will ever write and i need to get some thoughts out. skip to the end for my goodbye.

i characterize draco in one word: cat.

they both: hiss when threatened or angry but know when to run away, are protective of those in their fold but are also fiercely independent, always feel like they're the best one in the room, long suffering, sleepy in the sun (manor? cold. slytherin? cold. bed? warm. warm=sleep), love languages are gift receiving and physical touch, love giving languages are gift giving and quality time, vain and pretty, picky eater, whine and complain, THE LIST GOES ON

harry is a flustered bumbling mess in front of people but in private he is the biggest, smoothest romantic because he has spent his whole life thinking of what he wants in a relationship and my god he is going to make his perfect.

narcissa adopts harry immediately he is thirteen and cannot spell to save his life but he is nice and respectful and draco waxes poetic about him while still managing to spin it like he hates him, they are perfect together.

everyone is shocked when they learn of the relationship but they are even more shocked when they witness their interactions because they are so clearly in love how the fuck did they manage to hide it all these years.

i have more but i will spare yall. anyway.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FABLE I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY AND ENJOYED THIS I FINISHED IT THREE MINUTES AGO :DD

check me out on ao3 (@thepenguinclub) have a good rest of your week and i love you. bye.

[bi-demon-ium]

🥀🍒🌈

for asker's choice - got anything with Constance or Kate? if not feel free to post any snippet of a wip you want to share <3

🥀 favorite angst quote from a published work

hmmmmmm i don't know WHY this is what came to mind but since it was my first thought here it is!

“A moment of true happiness,” Reynie says quietly.

“And you think I can do that?” says Curtain, almost skeptical.

“No,” says Reynie bluntly, and Curtain’s fingers twitch where they’re clasped together. “Mr. Benedict’s been trying to—to save you. Not stop you. Look where it got him.”

Rhonda winces behind him, but Reynie’s too busy glaring him down, blood pounding in his ears. He hasn’t let himself be angry—he had his outburst with Rhonda, and it had helped, but now Dr. Curtain was just standing there, right in front of him, like he could just wave a wand and fix everything. Like it undid anything. Like he hadn’t been actively fighting against this the whole time.

“You’re the bad guy,” Reynie continues, “And I think Mr. Benedict’s friends probably make him happier than the person who got him like this in the first place.”

He doesn’t know what he expects. He’s so hurt and angry that he supposes he just thinks that Curtain will do what he did last time, what he always does: deny it. I’m not a bad guy, I’m doing the right thing, I’m helping people, this is good, I am good, and you are wrong.

Reynie is so tired of being told he’s wrong.

But Curtain blinks away tears. And then he says, very quietly, “I know, Reynie.”

-- "cain's lament"

🍒 favorite sweet quote from a wip

She would sit, propped up but leaning back, and he would lie with his head in her lap so she could play with his hair and he’d hum her favorite song, a lullaby she no longer knew the words to.

this is about jackson and jillson <3

🌈 asker’s choice of wip: request a quote from a wip (a certain wip? a certain character? a certain emotion or trope if it’s there? up to you!) - kate or constance

fucking agony i can't find anything that both survived the implosion and hasn't already been shared today so i'm going to have give you something else im SORRY!!!!! AGONIZING WAILS

here's some agony as an apology

“No,” Mr. Benedict gasps out, and it’s small and desperate like it’s torn from his throat. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, it’s not fair, I can’t—”

“Mr. Benedict, it’s okay,” Milligan says, and he manages to suppress the slight shake to his voice. “You’re safe—”

“I know, I know,” Mr. Benedict says, hurried and over-fast, “I know, but I—don’t—I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I can’t—”

Milligan slowly reaches forward again, watching Mr. Benedict’s wide eyes track the movement—he knows it’s Milligan—and for a moment, Mr. Benedict sways forward like he’s going to lean into it, meet Milligan in the middle.

And then he cringes backwards again, pushing himself away from Milligan’s hand. His hands release his curls for a moment to scrub over his face, the heels of his palms digging into his eyes and then slipping down his face.

[evapiipz]

The story of how I destroyed three of my best friendships <\3 (H, K, V are the persons im talking about but ok)

The 21 of august, 2022. Somewhere, in a camp. I walked into the room where I would be sleeping for the next 5 days. I saw H, she was on a top bunk, at the corner of the room. I chose the bunk next to her. I thought she looked cool, with her nose piercings. We didn't talk much on the first day. On the second though, we got to clean a room together. We got to know eachother. We had similar interests and music taste. We also liked the same horse. On the third day of the camp, we got to go shopping and visit museums. H was next to me the whole time and we talked about everything. Fourth day, we had a midnight walk around town. It was fun, we walked for two hours atleast. Fifth day we said goodbyes, though i got her number.

We started texting and calling. We visited eachother every weekend, even though we lived 300 kms away from eachother. We did many great things together, skated, went swimming and shopping, ordered take out. Everything. She was my best friend. I wasn't her's though. It really got to me. We went to the same camp in 2023. The fourth night i insulted her, only because I was fucking tired and wanted to sleep. (If im tired, I get angry. And I didn't mean anything with that) She took it to heart. In July 2023 I texted ger and said "Hey, Idk what I did wrong. But if you keep avoiding me we cannot be friends." We weren't for 4 months. In September, I wrote a long text, apologizing. I was sincerely sorry. We we're friends again.

Hopping back in time, in August I started sh (cutting, and sometimes burning). I also got so fed up with my weight I felt the urge to starve myself. H found about it in December, 2023. She had dealt with that too. I remember once to clearly that she said word for word "call me whenever, text me whenever. I could be in a call with my boyfriend and I would answer you. When you feel like cutting or attempting, reach out. I'll help." I did reach out, I did ask for help. H said that, If I don't fix my temper and problems, we can't be friends. I was shocked.

Cried for days. I relapsed every night and my grades dropped. I felt so empty, my best friend, was gone. For good. I felt worthless, because of her. I missed school every week, I was too tired. I couldn't keep up. I had (and still have), other friends. K and V. I like K, i like him very fucking much. But, i don't know man. I, feel like if he doesn't text me back I mean nothing. I get terrible anxiety that maybe, just maybe, I'm just a side chick for him. But I couldn't be, he likes me back. He does. Does he? Maybe. No. Rather no. Well he has confirmed many times that I mean alot to him. But, I still feel shit for even being in his presence.

V, I don't know how to feel about her. She told K about my feelings (I obviously didn't want her to.), a shitty thing to do ye. I got over it. And when I texted V a fucking huge essay how I felt, she didn't answer. She said she will, she didn't. What the fuck, was my reaction. Still is. At least I know I'm her side chick. I feel like im everyone's side chick. I just want somebody to listen to me venting and share my interests. Too much to ask, no? Actually yes, I think Im asking too much. But oh well, I made myself like this. (Also V, I'm so fucking jealous of her. She's 40 kgs, and taller than me. She's a model. Im a bug. 55+ kilos and only 162 cms. What the fuck.)

[spitefulcrepechan]

I feel like you're missing the point with your post about the whole lesbian thing. Someone was receiving hate anons by invalidating their trigger. Even if that trigger seems stupid to you or to some just because it's a ship, it's STILL a trigger. And a valid trigger at that.

We just have to understand and respect that lesbians will get gatekeepy around characters who are heavily-implied/canon lesbians. These characters get sidelined a lot, and it becomes irritating when you see lesbians in m|w ships with asshole fanbases invalidating their w|w ships just because it's "funny" to see them writhe in anger.

People are free to like and dislike everything, we all have our own opinions. No one's stopping you from shipping an ocean cookie and a ball of fire together. What needs to be stopped is shitting and laughing at people for calling out problems that needed to be called out, like the blatant lesbophobia and why shipping them with men can be a problem. It's important to be informed with a variety of issues we see in fandom spaces. That way, shitty fans get called out for their behavior.

Alright so it is like 3 in the morning as if writing this so my answer might be a little shit please forgive me-

I wasn't talking about that situation in my post, I was just generally talking about the notion that people will blindly follow the words of minority voices in order to seem woke. It was shitty for those anons to be attacking someone all for voicing their trigger, and I hope that person is okay, but I wasn't talking about that.

Like im not saying we shouldn't be listening to people when they point out things thay are actually offensive, hell it took a few tumblr posts for me to finally learn that goblins have antisemetic roots. Shit like that should be absolutely called out and when it is, it should be stopped.

Though the problem very much arises when it comes to just- Actually very mundane stuff. Ships that involve sea fairy are a very mundane things. Can they hurt people? Absolutely, I won't argue that. Should it be a topic of this level of debate where it should call into question homophobia? No, it shouldn't.

Speaking as someone who actually adores Seamoon, I genuinely can't find any reason why just the action alone of shipping sea fairy with, say, pirate puts other lesbians to the sideline. Even other lesbians say that this whole dilemma is bullshit, and yet THEY get sidelined themselves in this whole debate because cishet white men would rather listen to the one's that say that their favorite ship is amazing, all others be damned, in order to appear "woke", while ignoring the lesbians that actually don't care and know that stuff like seafire and seapirate aren't actually that big of a deal-

Now, I must reiterate, you CAN dislike the ships you can be TRIGGERED by the ships, but there are also people who equally are triggered by Seamoon as well, not because of homophobia (as some slags would want to believe) but because of just how rabid these people can get when it comes to defending their ship-

The whole debate just seems to be only taking one side into account, and its for a damning reason that generally ends up being lesbophobic itself. You are ONLY taking the words of a lesbian BECAUSE they're a lesbian, not because they're a genuinely human being. With any other debate that doesn't involve ships, you will most likely ignore whatever they have to say, and that's what I'm fearing.

Minority voices can be WRONG, minority voices can be BIASED, some things that may see offensive are SUBJECTIVELY offensive, others are more objective, like the racism-

Again, I am sorry that person has been getting harassed, they genuinely don't deserve it, as much as I hate gatekeepers, I won't debate if something actually triggers you or not, but that doesn't mean I'm going to blindly take their words into account because I KNOW they are only saying Seafire is bad because its a personal trigger and not actually an underlying issue. I won't show it to them, I won't force them to view it, I will simply just keep my distance, since I know that due to be being so lax about sea fairy ships (except the ones that involve children, obviously those are horrible), I'm not gonna fucking around them. Because that's like- the most rational thing you can do? If someone doesn't like a ship or voices their opinions about a ship you don't like just block them? You don't have to go into their asks and fucking- spam their askbox telling them to kys?

This applies to both those who do and don't ship Seamoon, because both sides equally have like the same level of toxicity as shown in this situation and the other-

Though I will also reiterate this.

My post was not talking about triggers or anything like that.

It was about BIASNESS. It was about blindly following the words of someome all because they're a minority. The words "a lesbian said it's offensive, so it IS offensive!" should never be uttered in this debate because, again, it very much implies that they are only being listened to because they're a minority.

I didn't listen to that person being harassed just because they were lesbian themselves. I listened to them because they had a trigger, as do I, and they were voicing that trigger, so I left them alone. They deserve their human rights respected, and so I am respecting them by not fucking putting them on a pedestal and seeing them as the spokesperson of all lesbians, because like- they're a person too, they can be wrong, and they also can be actually mentally distressed by a ship like how I and many others are.

So like-

Stop using "a lesbian said it was offensive!" as a reason to agree with a side of an argument. Find out why its being viewed as offensive and why the lesbian might be saying it is, then come to your own conclusion. That was my only problem. Not every lesbians the same, anon.

[secretivemessenger]

I’ve returned!

Alright so Xiao right?

For the plot I was thinking maybe the reader is like married to Xiao and the reader works like a lot so Xiao doesn’t get to see him often but when he does the reader always falls asleep even during heated moments. So over time Xiao gets more and more needy and when reader was about to leave Xiao just stops him and basically begs for the reader to fuck him. The reader is pretty sympathetic towards his husband so he gives him what he wants since he himself hasn’t had anytime to have a proper release, but instead of the reader getting straight to the point he edges Xiao and teases him.

That’s the most I’ve ever written for a request! Hope this is alright though!

Desperate Boy

Sub xiao x dominated male reader

Rating: NSFW

Warnings: Teasing! Implied Dacryphillia! Very desperate xiao! Crying xiao! Implied size difference! Very ooc xiao! Thigh fucking! Badly written! I suck at naming things

Note: so im finally writing something again sorry for the long wait guys but your man is here to feed you and myself

Oh dear adorable Xiao always been such a needy slut , once he experienced what’s it like to be “loved” for the first time he just couldn’t get enough , he couldn’t help himself not to be greedy wanting to go through that experience again and again

But poor sweetheart his husband has always been very busy , working as a partner lawyer to yanfei his job always consuming his time and energy , going back to the inn just to sleep right away

Xiao knows quite well how tiring your job can be he knows very well that this feeling is wrong and that you deserve to rest but he’s just so frustrated he can’t control himself , waking you up in the middle of the night to cry about how sexually frustrated he is looking so adorable crying you almost didn’t want to help him

But you were too tired to tease or argue with him so you gave him exactly what he wanted , you had him laying on his back as you fucked him nice and slow just like he want it

His nails would dig on your back leaving bloody scratch marks on your back , xiao being too drawn into pleasure to notice you slowly drifting to unconsciousness until he felt your movements stopping completely as you fell asleep right on top of him

He was a mess laying still sandwiched by you while your cock still fully inside of him , it left him a crying mess indeed forced to stay still as you sleep soundly his whines and whimpers couldn’t even be heard to you

And so his only option left is to fuck himself on you , moving his hips trying to get his own release but being squished by you made it very hard to move he ended up crying in frustration not being able to do anything other then lay down and cockwarm you

The next morning you woke up to find your dear husband looking more sexy then you could’ve ever imagined , xiao still wide awake his body twitching uncontrollably , you had to continually apologize to your little pouty darling making sure he know how sorry you are leaving him is such position before leaving to work again

But nevertheless that took nothing from xiaos sexual frustration if not it made it worse but he now knows better than to ask for your help again when your tired

he tried giving you signals at the morning before going to work , massaging your shoulders while tracing his fingers down your waist claiming it’s to help you relax before work , sometimes the poor baby would go to the cheapest way and bend his body infront of you to pick a spoon that “fell” onto the ground

But you never noticed his attempts in trying to get your attention or so he thought , you noticed every little move he did , picking on every word he say you knew exactly what he wanted but you couldn’t simply hand it over to him now could you , He had to work harder if he wants to get fucked properly

Today was no different than any other you wake up do your morning routine get dressed and then your ready to go to work , just as you got your hands on the door handle you felt someone pull on your shirt turning around it is no one other than your sweetheart

The way he looked up at you told you everything you needed to know , his eyes were begging you to just fuck him dumb and you were very tempted to do just that but instead you smiled at him and said

“do you need something love , I don’t want to be late for work” he felt like crying all the frustration he had just kept growing more and more he just wants you so bad why can’t you just help him out why do you have to be so cruel to him

He started crying blabbering about how mean you are never giving him what he wants despite knowing damn well how pent up you get him , your poor baby looked so week and pathetic you almost felt bad for him

You pressed him onto your chest in a tight embrace “poor boy it must’ve felt very bad didn’t it” you said as he nodded his head to your words “I suppose yanfei can handle a work day alone” your words made xiao feel like the happiest boy alive

You carried him bridal style back to your shared bedroom as xiao couldn’t even contain his smile not knowing how much he will have to suffer to get fucked properly

Once you set foot in the room you walked to your bed and placed xiao ontop , and you starting by slowly undressing yourself while xiao followed your every move with his eyes taking your shirt off was your first move you unbuckled your belt next and got close to xiao “your hands sweetie” he understood his role right away , handing you his hand you tied them together using your belt before pushing him on his to lay down on his back

Taking off his pants revealing his plumpy thighs looking so perfect , you were so mesmerized by his beauty as he looked at you with such sensitive eyes , you can see his boxers already stained wet showing just how excited he was , poor boy didn’t know what was coming for him

You traced your hands on his soft thighs squeezing at them forcing your sweetheart to let out a desperate moan from just that , placing small kisses on his inner thighs going upward till your face reached his croch you blew on it making xiaos body jolt from shock , he was just too sensitive it made you laugh

Your moves were very simple but had a very great effect on xiao you only played with his thighs and he already feels like cumming , his slutty moans were enough to get you hard , too hard it felt painful having your boxers on so you took them off , xiao’s mouth almost water at the sight of your cock as his imagination ran wild

All he could ever think about now is your cock stuffing him full , you took off his boxers as well as his slik covered cock pressed against his stomach “be a good boy and press your legs together for me love” your words left him confused why do you need his legs pressed aren’t you just gonna use his hole

He looked at you so innocently “you still got alot to learn my dear, just do as i say” you said as he nodded your way , following your instructions his pressed his thighs together and waited patiently for your next move

You pressed your cock on between his pressed thighs and slowly slipped in your cock , how amazing it felt having your cock against his creamy smooth skin slowly rocking your hips fucking his thighs slowly , and the confused xiao has already became a mess the way your cock would slide against his skin had him on the verge of tears

Your cock would rub against xiaos own with every time you slide in and out of his pressed skin , “does it feel good hm, having your thighs used like this” he could only nod his head to your question to busy moaning over the fraction of your cock against his

He was just so uncontrollably adorable just looking at the way his face would shift every time your cock slides inside again made your heart melt , you wanted to fuck his tight hole already dumb all the cum you had into him no matter how much you wanted to hold back you couldn’t

You pulled out pulling a whine out of xiao as well , taking a hold of his still pressed legs you spread them apart out of nowhere making your husband jolt out of surprise , taking the lube from the drawer you poured a generous amount on your fingers and proceeded to enter a finger in his hole

What surprised you is how easily it entered not struggling much to put the second one inside , looking up at xiao he looked so embarrassed and ashamed he played with himself but can you blame him , he was left alone with no one to play with him so it was his only choice

Before he could come up with excuses on whatever he had done you plunged in another two fingers at the same time making the total four fingers stuffing his hole , he couldn’t help but arch his back slutty moans escaped his mouth as tears streamed down his face

Your fingers pressing right against his prostate you pulled them out just to ram them back inside roughly fucking him with only your fingers hitting his sensitive spots with every thrust of your fingers , xiao could only moan and squirm around your fingers felt so good inside of him hitting spots his small fingers never managed to hit

Then you suddenly started Working your other hand on his cock , pumping it in rhythm with your fingers thrust , having his body played by you felt so good he felt he would cum just then and there with only your fingers but he couldn’t as your hand roughly fisted his cock squeezing so hard no drop of cum could come out

He could only whine and cry out about it as your hands continued playing with his body like a toy , moving your face forward to xiaos own you pressed your lips against his , biting and sucking roughly on his lips with all the activities his body is going through right now he felt like he would pass out it was intoxicating

Pulling out completely you looked at him , breathing heavily his chest going up and down his teary eye lost before looking at you , too fucked out to to anything but lay down , it made you feel like fire was burning near your croch

You took a hold of your cock and positioned it against his gaping hole before roughly ramming in , the loudest scream came out of xiao and your sure everyone in the inn heard it , finally having your cock inside his cock hungry hole it felt so good he came right away painted his stomach white withe his own fluids

His hole clenched around your cock it made you feel like you would come as well finally getting to be inside his warm hole , you pulled out before ramming inside again and again making xiao cry out of overstimulation having just came

But you were no where near done , you weren’t going to stop till the yakasha pass out because of being fucked so good , he was the one who wanted this after all

🏷TagList: @gaybitchfx @vyloy @peter-the-pan

[svquence]

⋆ ★ “forever boy”

✿ pairing! non-idol!lee felix x reader ✿ genre! angst & hurt/comfort ✿ wc! 0.6k ✿ warnings! forms of sh (pulling hair, scraping lips with teeth), very brief mentions of blood

❀ A/N! this was requested by someone i know and is actually very much inspired by the song “save me” from BTS !! i’m not good at writing fluff so im sorry if the end is cringe lmfao. i’m also very tired at the time im writing this and this is kinda rushed but nonetheless i hope you enjoy!!

———————————————————————

To say you weren’t in the best mental state is nothing compared to how you were actually feeling. Nothing feels worse than being surrounded by people, yet feeling alone. Spending your day being a ray of sunshine to the people around you, until the night hits. You can’t even think of something worse than staying up late, in the night, analyzing where you went wrong. Realizing that no matter what, your fights are only yours and no one is even trying to do anything.

Thats how you found yourself on a hill close to your house, looking at the sky. In all honesty, you weren’t even staring at the stars, all you could see were those gut wrenching memories replaying again like a vinyl movie, ready to destroy your fragile state again. Not even crying is possible to you anymore, but right now, something just hit. It was one of those rare days where everything came pouring at once, which got you to this stage of crying, sitting on your knees. You wanted to scream, but you couldn’t, because you can’t afford anyone hearing you. Rays of sunshine are strong, bright and happy. Your image is more important than anything, no? But fuck that.

For some reason, you found yourself venting to nothing, constantly muttering words of the type “help” and “save me”. Tho, you weren’t even sure who you were begging to save you. The moon that was shining onto you couldn’t save you, could it? How stupid. It was all so so stupid.

And at this moment, you allowed yourself to break down entirely. Might as well crumble and stay in your own filth forever than keep an image that wasn’t even true, right?

You found yourself punching the ground, pulling at your hair, as you kept muttering random words under your breath. You started chewing on your lips as blood started showing itself through them, you were a mess, though can you really blame yourself? You weren’t in a good place at all.

You ruined yourself and you ruined it all. But you had to go back, even if you couldn’t push anymore. It was impossible to just disappear, sadly. Everyone cares only when you’re gone, and you didn’t want that type of attention.

The moment you tried to get up, your life changed entirely. A hand sticking out to you, waiting to lift you up. It was an understatement to say that you were embarrassed, but he looked at you like you were one of the stars in the sky. And in that moment, you can feel a breeze brushing onto you both, as he mumbled “I’m sorry, i wasn’t supposed to be here through all of that. But i’m willing to help, i can’t guarantee to save you, but i can help you save yourself” You stared at him, frozen, but you reached out to take his hand. He was.. very comforting. His presence made you feel safe and understood, without him doing necessarily anything. When you manage to get up, he looks at you once again as he murmurs “My name’s Felix, by the way”, as he proceeded to look away from you, still holding your hand. Wow, he was stunning in the moonlight.

That moment, somehow, you knew he was your forever boy. Because even after he saw you like that, he tried to help, more than your so called “loved ones”. You were a stranger to him, but he gave you his hand, and you can’t even thank him enough for giving you the wings needed to progress. Even during it all, he’s still with you, and has no plans of leaving you anytime soon.

Throughout the worst, you found your best. During your lowest, you found your forever boy.

[bbybaku]

cranky no nut november boyfriend shigaraki

yes i know its july. 

1.8 k words 

slow burn but there is smut 

warnings: angry shig, humiliation, degrading, oral (fem recieving), use of vibrator, shoes on bed, angst, fluff, mentions of masturbtion

your boyfriend, tomura shigaraki, had made a bet with his friends, about who could last the longest during no nut november.

you thought a month wouldn’t be that bad, right? you guys could handle it.

the first few days were nothing. you two were busy and didnt think that much of it. 

but the first weekend shiggy had invited you over to watch a movie. which was usually code for “let’s fuck”

you went over to his apartment, about 20 minutes into the movie you slipped your hand under the blanket, feeling around for his cock.

“hey” he said softly but irritated as he picked up your hand and moved it.

“what? we always-“ you asked

“i’m taking this month seriously, i can eat you out or something but we cant, you cant” he said

 you were not expecting him to take it this seriously.

you knew your boyfriend he never took anything seriously? why did he have to take this stupid month seriously.

“well, do you want?” he asked as he ran his fingers over your clothed clit.

“no let’s just hang out tonight” you said.

“okay” he said then kissed you on the head and pulled you into his lap.

you could feel his erection. but you knew you had to ignore it. 

week 2 was easy because shigaraki was out of town for a work trip.

you didn’t know how he was doing it. no sex was one thing, but not even masturbating?

you had been touching yourself every day to the thought of him, the pictures you had of him and sometimes 

the movies you had made together.

the night he got back he came straight to your apartment.

he looked pale.

you went in for a hug, but he pushed you away.

“no” he snapped “ i just wanted to see you”

you gulped “oh okay”

you cooked dinner and he told you about the trip.

the space between your thighs ached the entire evening.

you asked him to stay the night but he said he no.

and he left. 

it was day 15. you needed him. your hand could only do so much. you couldnt do what he could do. he knew your body better than you did. 

you texted him to hang out. 

the two of you got coffee then made out in the car. 

his mouth tasted so good. your body presses against the console, arms around his neck. the kiss starting equal but he very quickly shoved his tongue in your mouth. he took your jaw in his hand and held your face while his tongue circled yours. you sucked on his bottom lip. his hand found your tit. your hand found his crotch. 

shigaraki instantly pulled away, he was pissed “how many fucking times do i have to tell you no?” 

you sighed “im sorry i just-” 

he pushed his hair out of his face and took your jaw in his hand again. “look at me. i want to be inside of you so bad. i think about you all the time. i love you so much but we just cant right now.”

 his tone made you want him even more. it was embarrassing how hot you got  when he was irritated. and he knew it. 

“i hate this stupid challenge” you said through his grip on your jaw. 

“do you want to be like that?”  he talked down to you with a smirk.

“we can always go back to my apartment, and work on your attitude” he said letting go of your face and grabbing the gear shift. 

you had soaked through your panties a while ago. you were excited but knew you wouldnt be filled up the way you wanted to be. 

the drive to shiggys apartment was agonizing. the sexual tension was higher now than it was on your first date. it felt like you were getting stopped at every red light, the car in front of you was always going slow. and both of you were sweating. 

he had one hand rubbing your thigh and the other on the steering wheel, except at stops when he would run it through his shaggy hair. when he finally got to his apartment complex the two of you practically sprinted inside. 

“elevator?” you asked pressing the up button repeatedly. 

he took his hands out of his pockets and said “stairs” 

the two of you raced up to the fourth floor, you beat him but just barely. once both of you were in the hallway he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder.

once in his apartment he didnt even turn the lights on, he took you to his bed and threw you on it. 

he stood over you and sighed. “its your lucky day” he then pushed you up to the headboard and pulled off your panties. so eager, you were both still wearing shoes and the window was open. 

you shivered at the cold air on your exposed heat. 

shigaraki just stared for a minute. he loved vulnerability. 

he loved having you at his mercy. 

he pushed your skirt up and grabbed onto your thighs. 

“i knew you would be soaked.�� he shook his head “such a whore” he said.

and just like that he dove right in.  

he licked up your folds and you bucked your hips to meet him. 

his grip on your thighs tightened and he pushed you into the bed.

“dont move” he met your eyes when he said it.

he started sucking hickies on your inner thighs, his fingers teasing at your clit. 

you held his head in your hands, not directing him, but rubbing his scalp. 

he occasionally hummed into your thighs at the feeling. 

he pulled off of your inner thigh and brought his mouth and nose to your entrance. you whimpered, expecting him to relieve your ache. 

he blew cold air on your exposed heat. 

you cried out. 

and shigaraki crawled up to meet you at eye level. 

he straddled you and leaned down “beg.” he whispered 

“please” you whispered

“i dont get anything for this. why should i be nice if i dont get the reward of your tight little pussy? or getting to fuck your pretty face. make it worth my while. give me this one little thing.  i said to beg like the whore you are.” 

you gulped. “please tomura. i touch myself to the thought of you every day and nothing satisfies me like you do. i just want you. i want you to fill me up and please let me come. please sir.” 

“hmm okay, i guess but its embarrassing that you touch yourself so much, you really are a whore.” he said as he repositioned his mouth at your entrance. 

he once again pinned your hips to the bed and brough his mouth to your entrance.

his long slender fingers ran through your folds a few times before stopping at your clit and rubbing circles. 

you moaned in pleasure, finally. shigaraki was relieving your ache. 

he sucked on your entrance and drank your juice like it was water from the tap. you could feel his tongue at your entrance, he tease then run his tongue through your folds. 

your entire body was shaking and the knot in your stomach was about to release. 

“please i - can i please” you whined. 

shikaraki hummed yes into you, his grip on your thighs tightening 

the hum was what sent your over the edge, your walls tightening and releasing around shigarakis mouth. 

he pulled off for a moment and looked at you “that was fast. youre so easy, y/n, you know that?” 

and at that he went right back to what he was doing, only this time it was his finger. at your entrace and his tongue on your clit. 

his tongue going all around and eventually stopping and making out with your bud. 

you were crying at the pleasure. 

his long fingers going in and out, and in and out. at no particular speed or regularity and occasionally stoping to curl inside you. 

your hands went to shiggys hair, but you couldnt control yourself the way you had earlier. your hands were shaking as the held onto his head.

you came again, it was so fast you didn’t even have the time to ask.

you could feel him smiling on you.

shigaraki pinched your thigh, acknowledging your high, but showed no sign of stopping.

he maneuvered a little bit, grabbing something under the bed while still fingering you. 

if you thought you were a mess before, you were wrong. because you were even more of a mess when shigaraki started rubbing around your clit with a vibrator. 

your back arched and you grabbed onto the sheets, so as not to pull on shiggys hair, “pleASE. m-gonna c--um” you barely got out. 

your lower body convulsing. 

tears started streaming down your face, it hurt so good. “dont cum yet, baby. i want you to wait this time. like i have to wait.” 

“no-oh-oh-o” you sobbed 

shigaraki mustve been getting irritated because his grip on you tightened, and he pinched your inner thigh. 

“please” you whimpered, running your fingers through his hair as gently as you could. 

“no” he said sweetly. 

your vision was starting to blur and you were still crying, “isnt this what you wanted darling?” shigaraki asked. 

you only sobbed in response, you were loosing the ability to form coherent sentences. 

the knot in your stomach released without warning, and you came on shigaraki’s vibrator. 

with that he sighed and stood up, going to the bathroom to help you clean up. 

despite your scattered brain, you knew your boyfriend well enough to know that he was in agony. 

“does it hurt?” you asked him between deep breaths. 

refering to how bad he wanted you, and how hard he was in his pants. 

he waled back in with a towel and said “yes” looking down at the ground. 

“well what if we” you started. 

“no, im tired of having to explain this to you.”

“please, i just want you so bad” you begged as he climbed on top pf you.

“i said no! just fucking shut up” he snapped

“why?" you whinned

he found your wrists and pinned your hands beside your head on the bed. 

“everyone gets a different penalty. do you know what mine is if i fail? huh? do you want to know”

"um i-” 

you went to speak but no words came out. 

shigaraki leaned down “my penalty is to send the group chat a video of us having sex” 

“oh” you said feeling yourself blush

he gulped and looked away “which i really dont want to do because you are mine.”

he released your wrists and fell on top of you, “youre all mine” 

“please just wait 2 more weeks” he whispered into your neck. 

masterlist

[eddiescorrodedcoffin86]

Reality

Part 1: Ballistic

Part 8: In a Heartbeat

Masterlist

Cheerleader!Harrington!Reader

After everything with Vecna, it's a little hard for you to get settled again. When the gang realizes something's wrong, they devise a plan.

Struggling to accept reality. Very brief smut. Depressed reader. This chapter has all the tags. Angst. Fluff. Brief smut. Eddie calls you Bunny. Everyone is super worried about you cause girl… you are losin’ it in this chapter. PTSD technically I guess. There's a cliff this is your warning I dont want to give anything away, im not sorry. Mentions of you trying to stick your hand on a hot stove.

You’d thought once everything was over with Vecna everything would be normal again, you expected it to take time, but it was taking too much time now.

It usually never took this long for you to feel safe again, comfortable, in your own skin, three weeks at the most and that was after the Mind Flayer had killed Billy, or rather, One had killed Billy, you still couldn’t quite grasp the concept of what the hell really was going on in the Upside Down. But it was taking longer now, approaching the two and a half month mark you were still extremely jumpy, your skin still itches, and there was a scratching feeling at the back of your head that it would all stop, at some point.

As soon as school was back in, you quit the cheer squad, told your mother to eat your shorts if she didn’t like it, and started sitting at the Hellfire table at lunch. Which is where you were now, leaned on Eddie with his arm caped around your shoulders, your eyes trained on a forever stain on the lunch table, not noticing you were being spoken to until Eddie’s hand was waving in your face.

You blinked rapidly and looked at him. “What? Sorry. I zoned out again.” You mumbled. “What’s up?” Eddie decided not to question it, any time he had before you’d brushed it off as being tired, but he was getting increasingly worried about you. “Asked if you wanted to come hang out at my place tonight.” He said softly. “Uncle Wayne works at the plant tonight so… it’ll just be us.” You’d been holding off on sex with Eddie since you got back, maybe it was because you just weren’t feeling very sexy, or because Eddie had been and still partially was recovering from his demobat injuries, or because you didn’t know if any of this was actually happening and it scared the ever loving shit out of you, you didn’t know anymore.

“Uh… yeah.” You nodded, smiling and kissing his cheek gently before leaning into him again the table sat in peace for a while, you actually able to listen to the conversation even if it was about dungeons and dragons and you didn’t really understand any of it. Your peace, of course, was short lived by two cheerleaders flouncing up to the table. “Y/N.” One said, annoyingly chipper like usual. “Denise.” You responded. “Harrington.” The other acknowledged, you grunted and waved dismissively at her in response. “We were wondering you were done playing ‘diddle the freak’ and come back where you belong.” She said immediately after you waved at her.

“And I’ve always wondered if you were done playing ‘how can I be a bigger cunt today?’” You said matter of factly, not looking up as the whole table snorted. Jackie immediately jerked her eyes to the boys at the table. “Watch it, freakazoids.” You stood up quickly and tugged your hand from Eddie when he grabbed it. “I’ve had e-fucking-nough of that word.” You growled, inches from her face.

Jackie looked scared, for a second, before she was crossing your arms and cocking a brow, tapping her laced white keds. “So that’s a no, then?” She scoffed. “You’d seriously rather hang out with these freaks? It’s social suicide!”

“It’s senior year you dumb cunt!” You poked her temple harshly a few times. “There is no social anything! You’re just a bunch of horny, useless pigs. And in about five years you’re going to be stuck in the same god damn place only uglier, smellier, and even more useless than you are right fucking now. Because then.” You stepped close, voice lowering. “Even your dog isn’t going to want to fuck you.”

Jackie stared at you with wide eyes, mouth gaping like a fish as she tried to stutter out of a response. “Eat shit, bitch.” You growled, grabbing your bag and spitting on her white keds before leaving the cafeteria, Eddie following quickly after you as Jackie’s voice echoed. “UGH! You are SO off the squad!” So high pitched you thought the windows would shatter. “Boohoo.” You mumbled to yourself.

“Y/N!” He grabbed your wrist and stopped you as you made it to the double doors of the school. “Hey… you’re shaking like a leaf.” He mumbled before hugging you tightly. “Bunny… what’s wrong?” He whispered.

“I’m sorry. God I’m sorry. That’s probably not gonna make things better.” You mumbled softly, shaking your head as you hugged him, closing your eyes tightly, gripping his vest. You haven’t told Eddie about the trouble you’re having, you already felt like a burden as it was, you didn’t need to add ‘can’t distinguish reality anymore’ to the list as well.

“Hey. What are you talking about? That was fucking awesome.” Eddie laughed and leaned back. “You called her ugly and smelly and useless and all that other shit for calling us freaks.” He shook his head. “I have never been more in love with you.” There it was.

You blinked rapidly. No… okay there was no way Eddie Munson just said in love with you. He doesn’t say that. He didn’t say that when you all thought he was gonna die in the hospital! “You… what..?”

Eddie blinked and tilted his head, like he didn’t realize, until they widened. “Oh. Oh uh…” his cheeks went bright red and he rubbed the back of his neck, shoes squeaking on the floor when he nudged it before clearing his throat. “Yeah. Uh you know I’m… I’m in love with you.” He pushed his hands into his pockets. “I mean… I did jump into a lake into hell after you so… and mowed down a bunch of demobats.” He teased, nudging you lightly. “Kinda obvious, sweetheart.” You let out a soft laugh, almost having to force it.

“I… I’m… I-I’m in love with you.. too.” You said softly, watching as the grin spread across his, your cheeks flushing before he was swooping you into a deep kiss. You hummed and closed your eyes, sighing happily into the kiss, sliding your hands into his hand and gripping gently just to feel the root of something. Something real that wasn’t you. When he let out that oh so missed sigh, you melted into him, pulling back and swallowing thickly before grabbing his hand tightly. “Come on.." You said softly, tugging him into a supply closet as a wide, curious grin spread across his face, his eyes glancing to both ends of the hallway. "Yes, ma'am."

The second the door was closed you turned the light on and gripped the front of Eddie's jacket and vest, pulling him close and kissing him deeply, sighing happily when you felt him melt against you and slide his arms around your waist, pulling you tighter against him as he leaned you against the door, pressing your back into the wood, which was cold even through your t-shirt, which was actually Eddie's, his hips grinding into yours slowly but with the perfect amount of pressure, his hands sliding everywhere, gripping your ass through your skirt, his fingertips touching your skin when the fabric bunched up in his hand. (whether he bought the shirt too small or too big is up to you, I'm trying to be as inclusive as possible, we'll say its tucked into your skirt or tied up depending on your size option)

"That all I had to do to get you riled up? Tell you I love you?" He teased, which actually made you laugh a little, rolling your eyes a bit. "I've been holding out on you... I'm sorry." You whispered, sliding your hdans up to cup his cheeks as he shook his head. "No. It's fine, really." He said softly, turning his head to kiss your palm. "We just went through something traumatic.. kinda dumb of me to assume you're immediately gonna wanna take your pants off, y'know?"

You shook your head fondly and kissed him softly. "Still. Thank you for being patient and not making me feel like shit about it." Even if I do anyway. "no problem, Bunny." Eddie ran his thumb over your cheek gently. "Now... I believe I pulled you in here for a reason." You teased, pulling him close and kissing him again.

Eddie kissed back happily, you reaching under your skirt and pushing your panties off as Eddie unbuckled his belt and got his jeans down just enough to get his cock out, since you didn't have time to go all out, and you were making sure Eddie graduated, so you would have to settle for a quickie. He gripped your hips again and moved so you could on an old desk in the supply closet, he slid his hands up your skirt and ran his thumb through your folds slowly, his lips falling from yours to your neck, sucking and kissing on the skin as he massaged your clit with his thumb, moaning a little against your neck when he felt your slick start to gather.

"Eddie... please." You whined softly. "We don't have time the bell is gonna ring soon." You shifted, pressing against his finger as he let out a soft chuckle. "Alright.. alright. I'll just have to wait." You could feel his little pout against your neck as he pulled you closer and lined his cock up with your hole, slowly guiding himself into you as he groaned, eyes fluttering shut.

Your arms wrapped around him tightly, nuzzling his neck lightly as you moaned softly, the pain of the stretch grounding you as you gripped Eddie’s vest in your hands gently, feeling the denim catch under your nails. “Fuck.” Eddie mumbled into your neck, pushing all the way into you, panting softly as he let you adjust, massaging your thighs gently before his hands slid up to your waist, squeezing gently. “You okay still?” He asked softly.

You nodded. “I’m okay, Eds.” You leaned back to kiss him, pulling him closer. “You can start moving.” You bumped your nose against his lightly. He nodded and kissed you softly as he started thrusting up into you, whining happily and pulling you closer to him, pressing his face into your neck. “Feels so good, baby.” He whispered softly into your ear. “Love you so much. Have since that day at the picnic table.” He wrapped his arms around you, continuing to fuck up into you as he gradually picked up speed.

You whimpered happily and pushed your face into Eddie’s neck. This. This was real. This would always be real, Eddie close, hips pushing up into you, his wallet chain jingling with his movements, echoing through the small closet, his cold rings digging into your skin as his hands grabbed anywhere he could. You could feel his lips then, open against your neck as he sucked and nibbled on the skin, very obviously trying to leave a hickey and you couldn’t find it in yourself to stop him, your fingers sliding up to tangle in his hair. “I love you too, Eds.” You whimpered happily when his hips snapped up into you.

“Say it again.” Came spilling out of his mouth as soon as you finished the words, his hand sliding to play with your clit. “Please.” He whined. You blushed a little at his reaction and bit your lip as you looked up at him, smiling shyly. “I love you, Eds.” You moaned softly when he started circling your clit. “So much.”

Eddie whined happily and kissed you deeply as he started to fuck you harder and faster, his muscles seeming to twitch the harder you gripped his shoulders. Being as Eddie was a little backed up, he was holding back his orgasm, determined to make you cum first, he could tell you were having a rough time and since you wouldn't talk to him about it, he figured this was at least one way he could try and help you out.

Your eyelids fluttered and your legs shook, Eddie's soft whimpers and grunts echoing through the small closet with the sound of his wallet chain. The sounds played a song in your eyes, planting you to the ground and solidifying just how much Eddie meant to you, and then how you'd been treating him lately, not neccesarily rude, just distant, spending more time alone than with anyone. Now was definitely not the time for the guilt to come crashing down on you.

"I'm sorry." You didn't realize you were crying until the words came out of your mouth, wrecked from both your activities and your guilt. Eddie leaned back and frowned, immediately wiping your tears as his hips slowed to a stop, pulling a protesting whimper from your lips. "Bunny.. whats wrong?" He whispered. "What are you saying sorry for?"

You sniffled and shook your head slightly in his hands. "I've been distant a-and ignoring you after the hospital, and I shouldn't have because I love you so much and it's so stupid and. I just... I love you so much I don't want you to think I don't." You looked up at him. "I'm sorry." "Oh... baby..." Eddie shook his head and kissed your face several times. "Please don't feel bad, everyone handles things differently. You need to be alone sometimes and that's okay. I'm not upset. i love you."

You closed your eyes, shoulders still shaking lightly. "I love you too." You said softly, looking up at him as you sniffled a little. "Don't cry, Bunny." Eddie whispered, smiling warmly at you. "Though I have to admit, does something to me that you're crying because you love me so much." He teased, continuing when it got him a grin. "Kinda a bigger turn on." He chuckled when you slapped his chest, giving a still slightly teary laugh. "You wanna stop?" He whispers softly.

You bit your lip and shook your head, looking up at him. "No, I wanna keep going." You said softly, gently pulling him into a kiss as he grinned. "Yes, ma'am.." he hummed before starting his movements again.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

"Eddie... is she alright?" Dustin asked later at Hellfire, since you quit the squad you'd sometimes sit in on their meetings, though you mostly would go back home and just lay in bed, you decided to come today and observe, though despite the excitement the observing quickly became putting your headphones on and reading the book you were focused on this month.

Eddie looked over towards you and sighed a little. "I don't know, man.. she's been a little weird." He mumbled softly, shifting slightly and clearing his throat. "Steve say anything about her being weird?"

Dustin shrugged and nodded, glancing at you momentarily. "Yeah, said she's been spending a lot of time locked up in her room and only comes out to get her dinner and then just goes back upstairs.

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The next day, everybody was at Family Video, except for you, it had been a particularly... odd feeling morning so you'd stayed in bed, telling Steve that you probably wouldn't be there, and although he seemed disappointed, he nodded and left a glass of water by your bed before leaving for work.

Robin explained. "When I asked her what she got four number ten in class yesterday she said The Battle of Gettysburg." "...okay?" Nancy frowned. "We were in Math."

Eddie decided to keep the details of your breakdown quiet, explaining that you just had a tendency to cry more, and about your scene at lunch.

Dustin had noticed you smiled less, at anyone's jokes.

Steve noticed your lack of sibling banter, among other things you'd stopped doing around the house.

Max noticed your lack of appearance at Eddie's, and your lack of wanting to go shopping.

Nancy noticed your lack of enthusiasm.

and Mike... well he was more focused on El so he hadn't noticed much.

and the final straw? When Steve told them he'd stopped you from laying your hand on a hot stove that morning before breakfast, which he'd convinced you to come down for. "When I asked her why, she said 'to see if it was hot'"

"She likes the beach." Steve commented, they were all trying to find something to do to make you feel better, everyone had started to notice how odd you were behaving, each of thtem havng a different reason for thinking you needed out of Hawkins for a bit.

"She mentioned a while ago she'd like to go camping... we could all go camping at the beach." Eddie mentioned, when everyone turned to him he got a little insecure, shifting and looking at them. "What? Is... that a bad idea?"

"No... no I think it's good." Steve nodded. "Yeah! And honeslty, I dont think it matters much as long as we get her out of Hawkins. This place is screwing with all of us, but her defnitely." Robin babbled, nodding eagerly.

Eddie nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. "Alright, camping it is." He chuckled and licked his lips before walking backwards. "Great. I came up with the idea which means you twerps got everything else... I'm gonna go comfort my girl." He pointed towards his van and winked before walking out.

"Keep your hands to yourself!" Steve shouted after him, Eddie waving his hand dismissively before climbing into his van and driving to the Harrington home, he hoped this beach camping idea was a good one.

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You woke up to soft hands brushing hair from your face a week later, your brows furrowed as you fluttered your eyes open, blinking rapidly to wake up. "Eds?" You mumbled sleepily, yawning and rubbing your eye with the back of your hand. "What time is it?"

"3:20." Eddie whispered, you blinked rapidly and looked over at your clock next to your bed. "What are you doing here at 3:20?" You asked softly, looking up at him curiously.

"Well... I could tell you... or you could get your pretty self out of bed.. and come find out." Eddie grinned, holding up your coat for you as he gently pulled your covers back.

You groaned and sat up slowly, letting him put the jacket on you." Only cause you're so adorable." You mumbled softly as he chuckled, shaking his head fondly before guiding you downstairs and out the front door.

You were immediately met with the sight of Nancy, Steve, and Robin, smiling widely, standing by an RV that looked a lot like the one you'd stolen to get to the weapons store. "What's going on?" You ask sleepily, looking at Eddie curiously before back at the RV.

Steve walked over, hands in his pockets. "We know you're having a tough time... so I convinced mom and dad to uh... give me the next few months worth of allowance early." "I gathered up everything i had saved from Chips Ahoy and Family Video." Robin put her hand up. "And I bullied mike into giving me his allowance also." Nancy smiled softly. "And we rented this badboy for a few days." Dustin grinned widely, poking his head out with Max, Lucas, El, and Mike right behind him.

Tears welled up in your eyes. "Guys..." you whimpered softly. "You didn't have to... do all this." You shook your head and looked between them all. "Oh... thank you all so much." You hugged Steve tightly before throwing yourself on Eddie, pushing your face into his neck.

"Alright, I got your stuff packed." Eddie held up a couple bags you didn't realize he had. "So, unless you wanna change, we're all ready to go." A smile spread across your face and you kissed him quickly, shaking your head. "Let's go. I'm exhausted, though, so I'm going back to sleep."

Eddie chuckled and nodded. "Alright, you heard the lady. Let's go!" He threw his arms up, everybody hooting and hollering as the five of you climbed into the RV, happy giggles leaving your mouth. God you love your friends.

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You woke up a few hours later with the sun in your eyes and your head on Eddie's chest, which was moving up and down like he was asleep. You could Max and Lucas whispering on the couch in the back, and pretty much everypne else was asleep. You rubbed your eye and glanced up at Eddie before slowing standing up and going over to sit in the passenger seat while Steve drove.

You looked over at him and bit your lip. "Wanna tell me what's going on with you now?" Steve kept his voice low as to not alert anyone else to your conversation. You shrugged and wrapped your arms around yourself. "I don't know.." you mumbled softly, looking down and sighing heavily.

"Everything just feels.... off. Weird." You tried to explain, frowning deeply. "Not... real." You mumbled, looking away when you saw Steve turn his head towards you. "Not real?" He asked curiously.

God you hated this, you didn't like the way Steve was looking at you, the worrisome look in his eyes, the way he was trying to figue what was going on in your head. "I guess.. its just... every time.. everything goes back to normal so fast..." you mumbled softly.

"Yeah.. what's so different this time?" He asked curiously, watching as your teeth dug into your bottom lip and you shrugged your shoulders again. "It feels... wrong.. Eddie... Eddie almost died.. like really almost died." Your voice trembled. "And i just... it feels wrong to pretend that everything is normal when it isn't.. everyone was just... carrying on the next day like it didn't even matter that Eddie almost died to anyone but me and Dusty."

"What do you mean?" Steve frowned. "Y/N/N.. we cared." He shook his head a little. "I know we didn't.. show up but we cared. How could we not?" He chuckled. "If it weren't for Munson we'd all be eaten by those damn bats." His voice was softer now as he turned his eyes to you again. "i don't have an excuse for not showing up, i mean, other than work but that's a bullshit reason." He sighed.

"That's... not the only thing.. everything just feels odd." You shrugged a little. "I can't explain it... it's like everything is numb..." You frowned, looking at your hands and rubbing them against your thighs. "I guess."

Steve's frown deepened, but it was obvious he was trying to understand what you were going through, you appreciated the effort. "i know it doesn't help but.. I'm sorry you feel that way Y/N/N... we put this together so you could have a break." He said softly, reaching over to squeeze your arm.

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You got to the beach around 1, first stopping so everyone could put on their bathing suits and get snacks and water. When you found a good place to park the car you all climbed out. You smiled and breathed deeply, taking in the smell of the beach, sighing happily. The idea of camping on the beach had gotten more and more inticing the closer you all got, you were practically bouncing by the time Steve found a good spot.

"Alright I say, we set up camp here." Steve nodded, hands on his hips as he serveyed the spot he'd chosen, turning his eyes to the group, half of which were already dropping their things and running for the waves, you and Eddie close behind as Nancy and Robin stayed back to help Steve set up the spot.

The second you and Eddie were in the water, the icy waves crashing against your feet, you felt your body relax, your shoulders drooped, and you breathed in, smiling widely and looking at Eddie as you grabbed his hand. "I love you." You said happily. Eddie grinned and pulled you close. "I love you too." He cupped your cheek with his free hand and pulled you close, kissing you softly.

You were all swimming when you saw a rather tall cliff looking over the ocean, it didn't seem like it would be a long walk. Dustin and Eddie got your attention pretty quickly, though, and you looked over to see them dunking eachother and wrestling in the salty water, making you laugh and shake your head fondly at the sight.

After a few hours of swimming everyone went back up onto the beach to wrap up and eat since the temperature was starting to drop a bit, soft gusts of wind coming out over the ocean but not quite reaching the beach. When the sun had set completely Steve set up a little fire, all of you gathering around it, you leaning on Eddie as you ate a sandwich, looking into the fire as Eddie's oh so warm arms wrapped around you. After the younger kids had gone to bed, exhausted from swimming no matter how much they tried to deny it, the five of you stayed up a little longer, you, Steve, and Eddie smoking a joint since Robin nor Nancy partook, the two were more than happy to hang around with their friends and watch them get high.

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You'd woken up before anyone else, listening to the sound of waves crashing, mixed with Eddie's breathing for about thirty minutes before you heard it. "Y/N..." you sat up quickly, frown on your face deep as panic started to rise in your chest. "Y/N." It was closer now, and although part of you tried to rationalize that he was dead, he wasn't coming back, you scrambled out of the tent, hands dug into the sand as you looked around.

You stood up and looked around, walking backwards away from the campsite, tripping over Robin's bag, which was far off for some reason, the girl couldn't be organized if her life depended on it. You fell over with a yelp, the sound alerting Dustin, who woke up and unzipped the tent, sticking his head out just in time to see you scrambling through the sand and bolting off towards the cliff.

He frowned and fell out of the tent when he went to step out, cursing before righting himself and alerting everyone to what he'd just seen. When you saw the tent start to unzip, you panicked, the corners of your vision blurry as you scrambled up in the sand and ran off, you didn't really know where you were going, figuring you'd run until you couldn't.

Before you knew it, you were at the edge of the cliff, toes just over the edge as you stared down at the crashing waves, wind pushing your hair back as you swallowed thickly, breathing the salty hair in through gasps. "Y/N!" The voice was Eddie's this time, you looked behidn you to see everyone running over. "Don't!" You shouted, causing them to stop as you moved closer to the edge, looking back at the water as you shook your head. "It's gonna be okay."

"Y/N... come on..." Steve put his hand on Eddie's shoulder as he stepped forward, your eyes still focused on the ocean below. "Tell us what's going on." He said softly.

Your fists curled a bit at your sides and you swallowed thickly. "I heard him." You whispered, scared to say the words any louder. "Vecna?" You nodded hesitantly, tears pooling in your eyes. "It's not real. I told you." Your voice trembled with your words.

Eddie looked between the two of you, frowning deeply. When the fuck was this? Harrington didn't think to share this with the class? He clenched his jaw before looking at you again, swallowing thickly. "Bunny..." he said softly, moving closer. You snapped your head over to him, vision blurred in the corners, his voice distorting as you closed your eyes tightly and tried to shake it away. "Step off the ledge.. can you do that for me?" He asked softly.

Your lip trembled a little, your arms coming to wrap around yourself slowly. "B-but I heard him.." you whispered. "He's not here." Eddie shook his head. "Remember?" He asked softly. "Steve.. Nance.. Robin... they killed him." He said softly. Your eyes drifted down as he got closer, your eyes falling on the scars on his torso, letting out a small sob as your eyes drifted over to everyone else, tearing your eyes away from them to look back at the ocean, your tears falling when you leaned over, the wind knocking them back against your arms, sending a chill through you.

Eddie took notice of the shudder immediately, getting an idea. "Hey.." his voice was soft, but firm enough to make you look over at him. "Remeber yesterday.. when we got in the water.." a small chuckle left his throat. "You let out the.. cutest little squeal cause the water was cold?" Your cheeks turned a little red. "It wasn't.. cute." You mumbled.

"Oh, Bunny, it was the cutest thing ever." He nodded, grinning before getting to his point. "You really wanna jump full fledge into that cold ass water?" The rest of them looked at him with wide eyes, well... that's not where they thought he was going with that. You looked at the water, and then back at Eddie. "Those are your only pajamas, too. They're gonna smell like the ocean until we get home." He scrunched his face a bit. "Plus.. that smack.. is gonna hurt, babe. You're gonna look like a penguin with a sunburn.. big ol' red spot across the front of your body. I mean, I think you'll be cute, but it's gonna hurt like a son of a bitch. I'm more than happy to rub ointment on you, though." He winked.

Everyone else groaned at that. "Watch it, Munson." Steve warned. You couldn't help but let out a small laugh, sniffling a little and swallowing thickly as you looked over the cliff, nodding hesitantly. "O-okay... okay." You said softly. "Alright." Eddie smiled and headed towards you as you turned around.

When you turned, though, because of how on the edge you were, you lost your footing, and slipped, your fingers grasping at the cliff-edge as everyone ran over to you. "Y/N!" "Y/N/N!" "BUNNY!" Eddie grabbed your arms just as your fingers slipped over the edge, slipping a bit before anchoring himself with his knees in the grass, grunting as he got a good grip on you.

You were all in complete hysteria, looking down at the ocean and then back at eachother, screaming at eachother to help you up this damn cliff, and despite it probably being possible for just Steve and Eddie, or even just Eddie, everyone was pulling you up onto the cliff.

As soon as you were up on the cliff everyone was falling to ground in a heap of sobbing messes, hugging you and eachother, you shaking like a leaf as you returned the hugs. "I'm sorry." You sobbed. "I'm so sorry." You shook your head rapidly, hugging Eddie tightly.

"It's okay. You're okay." Eddie rubbed yout back, shaking his head and closing his eyes. "I love you so much." He whispered softly. "I love you too." You sobbed, pulling back to look at everyone. "I ruined y-your plans. I'm sorry." You wiped your eye.

They all looked at eachother, and then you with a raised brow. "you kidding? You see us packing up?" Steve smirked. "This is just a hiccup, y/n/n." He shook his head and stood up. "Come on. We've got a beach and cold ass water to enjoy."

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Tag list:

@lunar-flwr @dahliarose3 @minimnmsdotcom @ranibewsprimskle @fabienne250503 @camcanyon @catherinnn @kaz120 @kiki51199 @babyali622 @nanamunath @giovannasgarden @munsonboyblog @meaganjm @kooksfor-life @ali-r3n @manitskatrina @you-arethepan @sleepy-zodiac @ilostmysoulbruh @literallylikepoison @mxbrbi @lov3ly-3m @slutfor-munson @slut-for-fictional-men-kms @rmeddar123 @redpool @spookykylie @sebby-staan @vulcrum332 @raybaeray 

[rommahh]

{Harry in sparkly black….Harry lemme **** *** *** for free}

You hadn’t talked to Harry all day. Not that you were mad at him or anything but your therapy this morning left you feeling a little spacey. There was something about talking about your emotions that left you feeling emotionally drained.

You missed Harry terribly and though it’s only been a short week, you felt very lonely. But on another note, your anxiety wasn’t as bad as it was. You were starting to feel like your normal self again but missing something.

You loved the tight knit life you have with Harry. You like being around him most hours of the day. You two were inseparable. If you were in the shower, he was in the bathroom reading a book from the lounger chair in the corner. If he was writing music on the beach, you were somewhere on the shore collecting shells. If you were going to the grocery store the least he could do was go for the drive with you. You two were close and it was something the both of you were ok with.

Some couples don’t like being so close but it worked for you and Harry. Being away from Harry was a weird experience. It’s only been a week but you feel like it’s been a lifetime. You haven’t minded being on your own but you wanted to be with the person you felt most connected to.

So being you, you purchased a ticket to Chicago. You didn’t know how Harry was going to react but you could only assume it would be a positive reaction. You told Jeff that you were coming so he could get you a hotel key and backstage pass.

As you sat in the airport you felt your back pocket buzz- your music pausing for the call. Your hand slipped into the pocket roughly pulling out the small phone. Harry’s icon, him in a fluffy robe looking as grumpy as ever, met your eyes. You cursed because you were quite obviously in the airport and if he saw you, the surprise would be ruined.

You answered anyways but only for audio. You made sure that your airpods were snug in you ear and there was no chance of them falling out.

“My lover!” Harry greets you a in sing song voice. You could hear his humph as he recognizes that you didn’t answer with the FaceTime video on. “Turn your camera on.”

“Can’t, I’m not feeling good.” You fib nervously. Harry frowned, nervous that he may have done something to upset you.

“Oh, alright. What’s wrong then?” He asks. You chew your lip trying to think of an answer.

“Uh, period.” You stammer.

“Your period doesn’t start for another few day…saw it on the tracker.” Harry may have your period tracker on his phone but it was because he wanted to make sure he was able to comfort you the best way he could when he needed to.

“Must be the meds-“ The sound of your boarding attendant sounded over your head cutting you off. “Hey bubs, I’ve actually got to go but we can’t chat later.”

“Sure, that’s fine I guess. Love you.” He mumbles, confused by the phone call. You hang up leaving Harry a little lost in his thoughts.

Later, Harry sang through his rehearsal carelessly, his head clouded with thoughts. He even sang through TBSL and though he was in the worst of moods, fans waiting at the venue thought he never sounded better.

You on the other hand had just sat through the worst flight of your life. There was a woman in the flight who didn’t want to wear her mask causing commotion before the flight could even take off. You had the worst headache halfway through the flight and because of the lack on supplies, the flight couldn’t give you any ginger ale or accommodations.

You didn’t let any of it get to you though as you directed for the chauffeur Jeff sent for you to go to the venue for show.

Harry sat in the common room backstage with the band and Jeff eating dinner grumpily. His fork was stabbing every little piece of lettuce of his salad, everyone watched worried that he may break his bowl.

“HS3 is trending on Twitter today, pretty exciting.” Jeff says to Harry breaking the silence. Jeff just received a text from you saying that you arrived to the venue and were walking towards Harry’s dressing room.

“Mmm great.” Harry grumbles. Jeff rolled his eyes at the diva.

“Someone’s a little pissy this evening. How about you go fix that mood before you greet your fans with a bad attitude.” Jeff scolds him like a child who just got caught doing something they shouldn’t have. Jeff really didn’t care about Harry’s attitude, used to the moods at this point, but he needed a way for Harry to leave the room and see you in the dressing room.

“Fine, didn’t want to be around anyways.” Harry shrugs.

Back in Harry’s dressing room, you rolled your suitcase into a corner where Harry’s outfit for the night resided on a hanger. You smiled at the sparkly black top that you helped pick out. You walked around his dressing room from the hair and makeup table, past the bathroom/ dressing area, and back around to the couch’s and coffee table where you took a seat. You snagged one of his green juices needing the boost of energy from being on the flight.

You heard the door knob jiggle but stayed planted in you seat sipping on the juice. You never made a peep as Harry barged through the room, scowl covering his face. He stormed past the couch not batting an eye at you. He went to the mini fridge where his juices were before letting an exasperated sigh.

“Who fucking took my juice?” He whines. You quietly giggle in your hand at his tone.

“Im sorry, thought I could have it.” You chuckle. Harry leaps from where he stands letting out a yell. He turns to look at you with wide eyes, hand over his chest as if his heart was going to explode from his chest. You stood from the couch waiting for him to react more but he just stood there in shock. When the realization of you actually being there kicked in he let out another yell before bounding over to you.

Before you knew it, you had two strong arms wrapped tightly around you. Your wrapped around his neck, hands and fingers spread through his hair. His face tucked into your lower neck peppering desperate kisses all over just to feel something.

“What are you doing here?” You hear him cry. You pulled away from him to wipe his eyes of the tears that streamed down his face.

“I needed to see you.” Was all you could muster. He pulled you down on the couch, your body cushioning his larger frame. He laid in between your legs, your back flat in the body of the couch.

“Im so happy your here.” Harry couldn’t even put his excitement into words. He knew you were coming in a week but to have you here earlier than that made him feel things. He sat up from suffocating you into the couch, allowing for you to sit up beside him. “What about your therapy? I hope you’re not jeopardizing your mental health to be here with me cause I would much prefer if you put me on the back burner and took care of yourself.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “I’m ok. I still will see my therapist virtually, I’ve got all new meds that are working fine, and if all goes to shit I will go back home. It’s ok bubs.” You reassure him.

He grabs your face with both hands pulling your face to his. Your lips meet with need. His lips slotting with yours, moving slowly but with rigor as if he was scared you would slip from his fingers. Your bottom lips fit between his lips leaving for him to suck on it slightly. You moaned at the feeling making Harry pull you in tighter. You sat slightly upon his lap, chest against each other tightly. Your tongues pushed at one another, lips loving in tangent.

You pulled away when you felt his lower presence awaken. He whined at the loss of contact making you giggle.

“If we go any further you’re gonna be late for your show. I’ll give you more back at the hotel, yeah?” You say lowly trying to catch your breathe. He groaned resting his forehead on yours chasing your lips with chaste kisses making you smile.

“Fine, you owe my though. This is level three apology situation that can only be resolved with these things; sloppy blowies, butt stuff, or face masks if you catch my drift.” He chastised. You let out a deep belly laugh pushing yourself away from him. You two still sit facing each other, your legs slightly on top of his.

“You’re so nasty, but I may be able to arrange one of those.” You wink making Harry let out a triumphant laugh.

“Are you staying for the show? I understand if your not.” He questions fiddling with your fingers.

“Think it would be best if I didn’t. I’m really tired and I obviously need a nap if I’m going to be up for your post show antics.” You joke giving his nose a poke. He jokingly pretends to bite your finger in retaliation.

Harry went on stage that night happier than ever. He started plotting proposals from the second he walked you to the car with your suitcase and waved goodbye to you. You went to the hotel room and “accidentally” fell asleep wearing one of your most recent purchases curled up in your tour bus blanket.

Let’s just say that Harry not so accidentally woke you up after that concert ready to love all of his adrenaline off in you.

Part 2👀

[ppersonna]

out of my league - knj | 01

you were out of my league. got my heartbeat racing. if i die, don't wake me, cause you are more than just a dream - out of my league, fitz and the tantrums

✹ summary- Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 6.6k

✹ genre- angst, smut, comedy

✹ chapter warnings- swearing, descriptions of sex, sexual content, namjoon being a sexy flirt, jungkook being a himbo, awkward conversations, jimin being a protective bff

✹ a/n- hello and welcome to this fic thats lived in my google docs for almost a year now. without @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen and @chimoona, i would never have posted it. i truly owe so much of my brainstorming and creativity to their incredible brains and thoughts and ideas. i love them very much! i hope you enjoy this first chapter! please feel free to message me, talk to me abt anything!! im always here to chat. ILY!

MASTERLIST

Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out this way.

You planned to confess your undying, unerring love for your coworker at a better time, a classier place. You would wear a dress that highlighted your features, hair cascading down your back, makeup done to perfection and spritzed with expensive perfume. You’d confess, he’d confess right back, and you’d live happily ever after.

You’d also dreamt that Kim Namjoon would have the slightest inkling of who you are before he finds out about your year long crush. He might know you as the mousy girl in the office who doesn’t talk and doesn’t contribute much other than some crunched numbers and apparently the best coffee brewer in the office. But you’d prefer he knows you well—your favorite colors and movies and foods, what makes you happy and sad; things future husbands should know.

You very much did not think it would happen in a company wide conference, full of over five hundred suit-wearing executives. You did not think it would be done by the office bully, Chungha, who carefully takes over the mic and speaks the words clearly as she presents awards of recognition.

“Congratulations to Kim Namjoon for 5 years with the company, over $4 million in revenue, and the object of ____’s lust and affection. I’m sure you two will have the happy life she’s written in her journal about. Make sure you celebrate with her today!”

The room is silent, so silent you could have heard a pin drop from a mile away. Your face is cherry red and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole. Your heart feels like someone has ripped it in half and you stare in horror at the girl smirking at the front. Is this what it feels like to be backstabbed? Namjoon looks perplexed—confusion written on his face as he gestures around to no one in particular like he’s saying ‘what the fuck was that?’

Awkward coughing and clapping begins and Namjoon stands to receive his award, a fine wooden fountain pen, and chances a glance around the room. He easily spots you, with your wide, frightened face. His look remains passive, not hinting what he’s thinking behind those stormy eyes, before he turns and sits back down at the table with his buddies from his department.

You seriously contemplate quitting your job. You could find a new one easily, right? Just stand up and tell your boss you quit and you’re out of there before Namjoon ever sees you again and you’ll never have to face the mean girl who’s ratting you out.

As much as the idea rolls through your head, you know you won’t do it. You love your job, love the security and finances it provides you, and you love to look at Kim Namjoon, all day every day.

You don’t understand where things went wrong.

( one month ago )

It’s 9:03 am. You finish brewing the coffee in the small staff kitchen and sigh at the aroma of the freshly ground beans. Coffee is your favorite meal, favorite time of day, favorite snack, and preferred beverage. You drink it constantly. You’re known as “coffee girl” at work, mostly because no one really bothers to get to know you beyond that. You drink coffee like it’s a devoted religion. You could drink a cup right before bed and still sleep like a baby. It was, put simply, your drink.

The office workers deem you to be the one to make the pots of coffee every morning, claiming you were the ‘best’. You didn’t mind—you preferred to make your own coffee regardless—but you believe your coworkers are trying to pass off the twenty-minute job to someone lower in the office hierarchy. And you were one step above the interns.

The coffee machine chimes to let you know it’s hot, and it’s ready for you. You eagerly pour a mug, a large one, and smile as the waft of freshly ground beans (by you, of course) fills your senses.

You nearly knock the cup out of your hand as Kim Namjoon strolls into the office, eyes set on the coffee.

You feel your throat swell up, like he’s an allergen and you’re caught without an epi-pen. Butterflies swirl in your stomach and you can’t stop staring at him. He pays you no mind, tired yet determined to pour a cup of coffee and get back to his office.

You stand in the small kitchen, clutching your coffee like a lifeline, and pray to god you don’t do something stupid.

Namjoon pours his mug, and you watch his muscular hands grip the coffee pot. He pours a hefty amount of cream and sugar into his cup—it appears even perfect male specimens have their faults. 

Your eyes dance on his face before they tango down his body. You wonder what he looks like in the morning, crawling out of bed with mussed hair and a sleepy smile painted on his face. He’d look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl and kiss you deeply despite morning breath. Maybe he’d take you to the shower to press you against the tile as he fuc-

“Oh!” it startles Namjoon to see you, and the coffee in his hand swishes violently. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry!”

Your heart melts. He’s the picture of kindness and politeness. You recognize it’s been a few seconds and you still haven’t replied.

“It’s fine!”

“Great coffee, by the way,” he smiles. His teeth nearly knock you out cold with their brilliance. “Have a good day.”

He turns and exits the room without so much as a glance back at you. Your knees feel weak.

Kim Namjoon talked to you. He complimented you. He told you to have a good day. It’s the best and most significant conversation you’ve had with your secret crush.

You definitely file that away for another day when you need to reminisce on his compliment, and you scurry out of the kitchen towards your desk.

Park Jimin is waiting dutifully at your desk when you arrive, a smug smile still slapped over your features as you sip at your coffee. Namjoon spoke to you today—how lovely.

Jimin quirks an eyebrow. 

“What’s got you so perky this morning?” 

You’re normally quiet and passive, avoiding eye contact or any semblance of emotion on your face.

You look up at the blonde bespectacled boy. Park Jimin is the closest thing to a best friend in the company. He’s who you spend time with at lunch, see on weekends, and text often. You suppose he’s the closest thing to a best friend you have in your entire life.

You send him a smirk and lean in close to whisper. “Namjoon said hi to me today!”

Jimin sends you a pitiful look and pats your shoulder. Your best friend is well aware of your secret crush and while he thinks Namjoon is a nice guy, he thinks your crush is a little hopeless. He’s the most popular guy in the office, often has dates lined up every weekend. Jimin hears the way he and his friends talk in the break room. The man is definitely not hurting for female attention.

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, unenthusiastically. “That’s great.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness over how excited you’re getting from a simple ‘hello’ from a coworker.

“I know, right? Anyway, lunch today?” You ask as you settle down into your cubicle.

Jimin pushes his glasses up his face and nods. “Of course! That’s why I came by this morning. I wanted to let you know that Jungkook from marketing will join us.”

You make a face, disgust etched in the lines creasing your forehead. 

“Why?”

Jungkook is well known in the company. He’s a loudmouth, a player, a clown, and everyone’s favorite comedian. He’s just not your favorite.

“Don’t be rude,” Jimin admonishes at your grimace. “He asked to join and well—he’s cute. I can’t say no to him.”

“Oh Christ, Jimin,” you groan. “Not you too! Don’t tell me you have the hots for the serial fuckboy?”

He blushes lightly and shrugs. “Maybe I do! Be nice to him today or I’ll eat all your chocolate ice cream I know you have at home.”

You stick your tongue out, petulantly. “Fine, now let me get to work or else Seokjin will be up my ass.”

Jimin smiles and kisses your cheek before he scurries away, back to human resources.

It feels as if barely any time has passed. You’re working hard, running calculations and updating spreadsheets. You have an eye for numbers, and losing yourself in an equation is just another day for you. You’re shaken from your cheerful place by a vibration from your phone, and a text alert popping on the lit screen.

jimin 12:01 pm- it’s lunchtime!! you better get your butt out here!

You smile and text back an affirmative reply, then move to grab your lunch from the company fridge. Gliding down the steps leading to the fresh outdoors, you meet Jimin at the lunch tables in the grass.

Jimin is sitting with Jungkook. You can recognize your best friend by his hair and glasses, and Jungkook by his obnoxious laughter.

“Hi,” you murmur as you sit down and open up the brown bag lunch you’ve brought.

“Hi!” Jimin is excited to see you, and just a pinch over eager to be sitting next to Jungkook.

“You know Jungkook, right?” Jimin asks, a harsh look in his eyes that reminds you to be on your best behavior.

You nod as you pull out a bag of grapes. “Oh, yeah, hey,” you smile. “I’ve seen you around.”

Jungkook delivers you a signature smirk and you feel yourself roll your eyes internally. “Yeah, you’re Coffee Girl, right?”

You pout and glare down at your brown bag lunch. Will you ever become more than just Coffee Girl?

“Yeah, I suppose that’s me.”

Jimin clears his throat to dismiss any awkwardness. 

“So, Jungkook, I hear you like working out? ___ likes to work out too. She drags me to the gym sometimes. Maybe we could all meet up sometime?” You don’t miss the hopeful lilt in his voice. Jungkook does.

“Oh, yeah?” He narrows a sexy look at you, rather—a look he thinks is sexy that you find off-putting. “What do you do at the gym? Little cardio sets with 5 pound weights?”

What an asshole.

“Sometimes,” you state as you take a bite of the homemade salad you handcrafted last night. “Most of the time I’m lifting heavy. I can bench 275 and deadlift 300.”

Jungkook looks taken back. “What, really?” He sounds breathless. “You lift more than Namjoon-hyung.”

At the sound of the love of your life’s name, you pause. Your face heats quickly and Jungkook smirks. Of course, he recognizes this and not Jimin’s obvious flirting.

“Why are you blushing?” He asks. “Did I say something?”

You’re quick to dismiss things. “Um--no. I just um,” you’re grasping at straws. “I’m hot.”

Jimin is trying not to laugh, hiding his mouth behind a petite hand.

Jungkook tilts his head. “It’s not even sunny today.”

You gulp. “Yeah, I must be hot. With a fever. M-malaria… probably.”

Jungkook snorts. 

“You have malaria? Bummer.” He picks at his nails. “I thought for a moment you had a thing for Namjoon.”

“No!” The retort is quick, too quick for normal conversation, and it gives you away.

“Aha!” Jungkook points an accusing finger at you. “You have the hots for him, don’t you?”

Your features melt, and Jimin tries to assuage the situation. “Jungkook, please don’t tell anyone,” he pleads.

Jungkook smiles at you. “That’s so cute. It’s like a little nerdy freshman crushing on the senior class president.”

You bury your head in your hands, suddenly unable to stomach any food.

“Jungkook,” Jimin’s tone becomes more firm, authoritative. “I’m asking you this as a friend. Please, don’t say anything.”

Jungkook holds his hands up to prove his innocence and waves his proverbial white flag. 

“Secret is safe with me,” he promises. “But it’s cute. I know him really well, you know. I could try to hook you two up.”

You blanch, unsure if you want Jungkook saying anything about you to the man of your dreams. 

“I’m good, but thanks,” you offer meekly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head back to work, okay?”

Jimin frowns, knowing you’re feeling like a cornered animal, and nods. “Feel better, babe,” he sighs.

Jungkook watches as you leave and turns to Jimin. “Man, he’s way out of her league.”

Jimin slaps the boy in the chest. “Be nice, asshole, that’s my best friend.”

Jungkook promises to be nice, and Jimin is blissfully unaware that others are listening and that the man beside him is easy to persuade.

( present day )

The company-wide meeting adjourns soon after what is likely to be the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever lived through.

You’re grabbing at your things and trying to run out of the room, desperate to get out before anyone sees you or talks to you or laughs at you.

A hand grabs at the coattails of your suit jacket and you’re pulled backwards with a yelp. You turn to seek your captor and find the concerned face of your best friend, Jimin.

“Are you okay? What the fuck just happened?”

Jimin’s concern makes it all real. Until now you could pretend you were in a fugue state, totally dissociated from reality. Now, you realize that everyone in the entire company is aware of your crush on Kim Namjoon.

You can feel your bottom lip wobble, tears threatening to spill. Jimin murmurs an ‘oh shit’ and drags you out of the large room and into the nearest bathroom. He pushes you to sit against the sink and passes you toilet paper to dab at your eyes.

“I don’t know how she found out!” you cry. “God, I feel so stupid and embarrassed.”

It incenses Jimin. He’s holding it back to ensure you’re okay, but in reality, it’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen. He’ll find who did it and punish them accordingly.

They will suffer. 

“It’s okay, babe,” he pulls you into a hug. “Everyone will forget about it soon. They’ll think it’s just a lame office joke, okay?”

You nod, feeling the slightest bit comforted by his words. 

“How could she find out, Jiminie?” You ask with a sniffle. “You’re the only person who knows.”

Jimin sighs and shakes his head.

“I don’t know, but they’re dead. I haven’t told any-... oh, my god,” Jimin stops suddenly. You look up at him to catch what he’s thinking.

He growls and balls his fists. 

“Jungkook knew.”

You let out a sob and bawl your eyes out into the tissue you’re holding. Jimin holds you tighter while he conjures up a hundred different ways to hurt someone and make it look like an accident.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin sighs, trying to comfort both you and himself. “I’m HR. I have to handle this. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve.”

You feel a sting of pain for Jimin. He’s been hopelessly doting on the man who spilled the beans for a few months now, even got to take him on a few dates. It was still nothing serious, but Jimin was clearly smitten.

“I’m sorry you have to do that, Chim,” you whisper. “I know how you feel about him.”

“Yeah, well,” he swallows thickly. “You’re more important than any asshole.”

Jimin holds you tight for a few minutes longer, before you clean yourself up and steel yourself. Ignore everyone, Jimin encourages. Just get to work, he says. Then you can go home and we’ll drink wine and forget about it all, he promises.

You replay his words in his head like a prayer as you walk down the corridors and towards your office. Everyone in the hallways stops to stare at you. They lean towards their friends and whisper. You hear snippets of their gossip, like “Namjoon” and “out of her league”. It drives the sharp blade lodged in your chest even further. It threatens to collapse your lungs and break your ribs.

You make it to your desk safe and sound and bury yourself in work and forcibly ignore the gawking and the stares. 

Just make it home. Just get through the day. You’re almost there.

You could do this.

You nearly make it the entire day before running into the one person you didn’t want to see, Kim Namjoon.

At the end of the day, you’re taking the stairs down to the parking garage instead of the elevator. The elevator is too busy, too many people, and you’re trying to avoid the stares and giggles at your expense. The stairs are always deserted and you figure it’s your safest bet.

You can nearly hear the wine calling your name at home. A delicate glass of Sauvignon Blanc and some chocolate ice cream and a good cry—it sounds like the best and only way to unwind after the worst day you’ve ever had in your life.

The chanting of your name gets louder and you wonder if you’ve finally lost your mind—if you’re actually hearing your wine bottles all the way at home talking to you.

No, wait. The voice is real, and coming from behind you. You turn around to face who’s calling you and nearly faint at the sight.

Kim Namjoon stands on the landing above you, one strip of stairs between you.

“Hey!” He seems glad he’s caught you. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”

You swallow and search for an answer. 

“Sorry, I’m-.. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”

Namjoon grimaces. 

“Yeah, about that…” he begins as he takes the steps down to be on equal ground as you. Your heart is spinning wildly. He’s so close to you. He’s talking to you. On any other day you’d be erupting towards the sky like a firework. But today isn’t any other day.

“I feel like I should apologize,” he states. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t plan it or anything.”

Damn him and his kindness. Damn him and his cute, awkward smile.

“No, no,” you assure. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have to apologize.”

It’s hard to make eye contact with the man. You want to, know it’s important in intense conversations like this, but the thought of him seeing you—really seeing you makes you ache inside.

“It was a really shitty prank,” he begins. “I’m sure you don’t even know who I am, let alone have a crush on me.”

For the millionth time that day, your face heats to a near boil. You stammer and you’re sure you’ve blown any chance at even thinking about a date with Namjoon.

“Oh, uh, right,” you seek an answer, beg your brain to pick something to say that doesn’t make you sound stupid. “I do.”

“You do what?” He’s confused and you widen your eyes at what just left your mouth.

“I do know you! I mean, I do have a crush on you! Oh, fuck,” you shove your face into your hands. “Please, ignore that. I need to go. Sorry!” You don’t give him a chance to reply, you book it out of the stairway as fast as your heels will take you.

Today was the worst day you’ve suffered through in your life.

The next few days aren’t much better.

Not only are you “coffee girl”, you’re now also sarcastically called “Namjoon’s girl”. As much as you hate your initial title, you’d prefer it to the new one they throw at you as you walk by.

Jimin rats out Jungkook and Chungha to the bosses. They get two weeks probation and they have to write you apology letters if they wish to keep their permanent files clean of any reprimands. It’s a slap on the wrist, and everyone involved knows it. Jimin is furious and wants the boss to reconsider. You tell him not to push it. You’d rather this be over and everyone to forget it even happened. Jimin unwillingly agrees.

You’re working at your desk, earphones shoved in your ears to diffuse the gossip in the room, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and are greeted with the face of Judas Iscariot himself, Jeon Jungkook.

“Hi,” he sounds sheepish, cheeks reddening.

You narrow your eyes at him, sharper than steel. “What the fuck do you want?”

He winces, knowing he deserved that. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. I know they told me to write you a letter, but it seems too impersonal…”. 

You can’t believe Jungkook is sucking his ego up and actually coming to you to apologize. You thought he’d for sure be the one to cop out and send a shitty letter.

He continues. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry that all went down. I didn’t mean to tell her. She got me drunk and said she saw me eating lunch with you and Jimin. I think she was jealous or something and it slipped out. I know that’s not an excuse. I fucked up your trust and Jimin’s trust. But I just wanted you to know I didn’t do it to be an asshole. She sort of duped me.”

You pause as you take in the man’s apology. He didn’t have to come to you in person. He could have easily taken the shitty route and half-assed a letter to you. But he didn't, and he owned up to his mistake. God dammit.

“I appreciate your apology, Jungkook,” you sigh and you see his body visibly relax. “I’m still mad, but I guess the anger is at her for doing it in the first place. I’m sorry she tricked you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and kneels down beside you. “I’m really happy you believe me. I was worried you were going to kick me in the nuts.

“I won’t lie, I thought about it.”

He smiles with you, and you feel like this is the restart of a friendship. “I definitely deserved it.”

You shrug and smile. “Jimin would kill me for hurting you. He might even kill me for thinking about hurting you.”

Jungkook’s smile drops at the name of your best friend. Yikes. Looks like there’s still trouble in paradise.

“I think you’d be in similar company with Jimin right now. He’s not speaking to me.”

You let out a breath through your nose. “Yeah, he’s a little protective of me.”

“For good reason,” he admits. “You’re like a cute little flower. A cute nerdy flower.”

“Jungkook,” you warn. “I just forgave you after I was humiliated in front of the entire company. I’d be careful with calling me nerdy right now.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

It’s hard to stay mad at the boy, no matter how much you dislike his reputation around the office. The fact that he humbled himself enough to seek you out and apologize is proof enough to you of his character.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. I forgive you,” you smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as his cheeks flare red.

“Yeah, it felt pretty shitty to just… do anything else. Plus, you seem really cool.”

“You seem great, too, Jungkook.”

He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, catching you off guard. For the fuckboy type, he’s surprisingly sensitive and soft. You like that about him.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” He says as he pulls away from you.

“Maybe you should apologize to Jimin, too?” 

His smile drops, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go find him now.”

“Good luck,” you offer with a pat on his shoulder.

With a sad smile, he turns and heads down the hallway towards the HR department. You pray Jimin shows mercy to the handsome boy.

A few weeks go by, and you’re sure that everyone has forgotten about you and your most embarrassing moment to date. You make the coffee, you calculate the numbers, everyone ignores you. Things return to relative normalcy.

Until it doesn't. The moment you think you're safe is the moment your guard comes down and everything falls apart around you.

It's when you're in the staff kitchen, grinding fresh beans to brew a second pot of coffee, that it happens.

The kitchen is fuller than usual. You normally try to wait until the lunchtime crowd dwindles and leaves to make your second pot, but you're so desperate for the caffeine that you can't find it in you to care.

You trudge into the kitchen with your handy coffee mug clutched in your tired hands and head towards the cupboards to grind up the beans.

There's a few groups of coworkers lingering in the room, and as your grinder whirs the beans around into a powder, you chance a look around to see who's among the crowd.

Your eyes flick immediately to where a hearty laugh erupts. It makes your heart still in your throat. Namjoon sits with his usual crowd of friends, hand gripping a homemade sandwich while the other assists him in telling his story to his friends. He pays you no mind—why would he?—and you can't help but stare at the way his dark brown hair lays perfectly against his forehead, and his eyes crinkle so cutely at the edges when he smiles.

You nearly forget about the coffee grounds—you're snapped out of your Namjoon-induced trance when suddenly a woman's laugh echoes around the room.

"Look at her," the voice states.

You peer up and see a girl you vaguely recognize. Is she from Marketing? Or perhaps Sales? You’re not sure, but she’s staring at you with a sneer.

“She’s so weirdly obsessed with Namjoon. It’s so creepy.”

Your face turns cherry red and you’re sure your lungs stop functioning. The air your body needs to breathe freezes and your chest aches. 

Namjoon turns to look at the girl before he looks and sees you grasping your coffee grounds tightly.

“Chungha was right—it’s so weird. Namjoon, you should talk to HR about this!”

Namjoon turns back to the gossiping coworker and frowns. “Can you leave it alone? She wasn’t even doing anything.”

The girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks back at Namjoon.

“How can you stand to be in the same room as her? She clearly thinks she has a chance with you.”

Her words come out like a bite. She punctuates her point with a harsh laugh and the group around her mumbles and chuckles in agreement.

You’re desperately grabbing at anything you can, wanting to leave as quickly as possible before you’re embarrassed further.

“Well, she does!” Namjoon replies loudly, annoyance written in his features. “I was actually going to ask her to dinner this weekend in private, but since everyone is so fucking interested in my love life, I have to do it publicly.”

The room falls silent, and your favorite mug falls out from your hands and shatters on the floor. All sets of eyes stare at you while yours widen with disbelief—you don't even care that you’re standing in a pool of old coffee and shattered ceramic. 

Namjoon stands and heads over to you, bending down to pick up the shards of your coffee mug. You take a few stunted breaths to kneel and help. 

His eyes peer into yours. They’re warm—a chocolate brown color that makes you feel safe.  

“What do you say?” He asks with a smile so gentle it nearly breaks your heart. “Will you let me take you out this weekend?” 

You’re gaping like a fish and the surrounding room is silent—bated breath waiting for your reply. 

“Yes, I would l-love that.” 

His smile turns even brighter, and he stands to throw the broken mug away. 

“I’ll email you the details, okay?”

Your head nods dumbly without thinking. His eyes sparkle as he smiles at you, and he extends his hand down to you to assist you off the floor. As your hand slips into his, you can’t help but feel how soft and strong he feels. You wonder what his hand would feel like caressing your face, smoothing down the expanse of your bare back, running down the length of your body.

The thoughts shake out of you as he winks and kisses your hand gently, causing the gossiping coworker to grunt her disapproval and for murmurs of shock to echo around the room.

“I’ll talk to you later, doll.” Namjoon winks at you before he grabs his sandwich and leaves the room, gesturing to his crew to follow along.

The place on your hand felt warm where his lips once lingered. You no longer cared about the angry glares from the rest of your coworkers. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, and you leave the kitchen nearly floating on cloud nine.

Email from: Kim Namjoon

Sent: 3:06 pm

Subject: Hey good lookin ;)

Hey! 

Just wanted to see how you are! I’m sorry about what happened at lunchtime. That was super petty and uncalled for. I really wanted to ask you out, and I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much by doing it in front of everyone.

I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Friday night after work? Say around 7? If you send me your address, I’ll pick you up.

Let me know!

Xoxo, Joon

You’re sure if you weren’t sitting in your tiny cubicle, you’d be screaming your lungs out.

The second the notification of the email came through, direct from the man of your desires himself, your body froze.

You re-read the message, over and over and over.  

The winky emoji, the xoxo, the nickname ‘joon’. It’s all so much and makes the grin on your face threaten to split your lips in half.

Your fingers press the “FWD” button and you quickly send the message to Jimin, before you stand demurely, attempting to give off an air of professional confidence. You need to talk to Jimin, now.

As soon as you’re out of the eyesight of suspicious coworkers, you bolt down the hallway towards Human Resources. Your high heels click loudly on the tiled floor, but the sound doesn’t even register in your mind. All you can think about is Namjoon, the email, the press of his lips on your hand, the way his smile made you feel as if you could fly.  

The door to HR swings open with your tight grip around the doorknob, and you open your mouth to call to Jimin, the lone employee, when you’re startled by the sight ahead of you.

Jimin sits on the edge of his expansive desk with his arms thrown around Jungkook’s neck and is clearly engaged in a deep, sensual kiss. At the sound of the door opening, they quickly break apart, with matching cherry red blushes on their cheeks and mused hair.

“Oh, shit,” you gasp. 

The men are silent and you can’t help but giggle after a moment passes. “I’ll take it you two made up?”

Jungkook flashes you a dopey grin, one that gives you an answer, while Jimin smirks haughtily.

“Jungkook and I were just discussing, umm… his 401k.”

Jungkook looks at the blonde boy for a moment, confused, before he gets it. “Yeah! Totally. Retirement. Love to t-talk about it?”

You laugh out loud and walk towards the couple.

“I’m sure it was a titillating discussion,” you tease. “I have good news though, if it’s okay to interrupt this retirement planning session.”

Jimin nods and Jungkook rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess I should leave?”

“It’s okay,” you smile. “I trust you.”

Jungkook smiles as if he’s just won the lottery. He looks between you and Jimin, face pure and excited like a puppy.

“What’s up?” Jimin asks as he moves to sit down at his desk.

“I forwarded you an email. Read it.”

Jimin nods and logs on to his posh computer, scrolling and clicking before narrowing his eyes and reading.

“Oh, my god.” Jimin’s face is shocked—it's written all over his features. “Namjoon asked you out?!”

Jungkook’s child-like grin turns into one of shock himself. He runs around to stand behind Jimin, eyes seeking over the words of the email.

“Well, hot damn,” Jungkook whistles. “He asked her out.”

Jimin exchanges a look with Jungkook, one that you’re not sure you can read. It quickly slips your mind, however, as you’re more focused on the task at hand.

“Can you come over tonight after work and help me pick out something to wear?” You ask excitedly.

Jimin smiles at you, a touch of sadness in his eyes, before he nods.

“Of course, babe,” he assures. “We’ll make sure you look nice and hot for the date with Mr. Kim.”

“Thank you!” You squeal as you wrap your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back before you scurry out of the office and back to your cubicle, itching to reply to the message.

Jimin sighs as the door to his office closes behind you.

“Kook, please don’t tell me he’s going to break her heart. He’s asking her out to make himself feel better about this, isn’t he?” 

Jungkook slips his hand into Jimin’s and squeezes. 

“I’ll find out, baby.”

Jimin smiles and nods appreciatively at the boy, before leaning up and kissing him.

Jungkook smiles against his lips, and is determined to ensure the young HR specialist never hates him again, even if he has to go behind his hyung’s back to ensure his new boyfriend’s happiness.

Jungkook has one mission now, and that’s ensuring Namjoon takes you on the greatest date known to man.

He grills Jimin with questions about what you like over dinner one night. Jimin finds it endearing that Jungkook is so eager to rectify his mistakes, but he still can’t help but worry that Namjoon is doing this to save face—not because he actually likes you.

“So, what does she like doing?” Jungkook asks as he spins his pasta around his chopsticks idly.

Jimin smiles as he takes a bite of the ramen Jungkook has thoughtfully prepared for their stay-at-home date.  

“I’ve told you already! She’s easy to figure out.” Jimin pats Jungkook’s hand gently. “She loves cooking and baking, working out, daydreaming about Namjoon.” 

“Cooking, hm,” Jungkook looks thoughtful as he takes a bite. “I think Namjoon can work with that. I’ll let him know!”

Jimin tries to hide the anxiety brewing in his stomach. He’s had to plaster on a fake smile for you while you tried on different outfits, wondering which will be the one to finally convince Namjoon he is the one for you. It’s hard to fake it around his boyfriend, too—but something tugs in his stomach that flares the cynical side of him.

Namjoon went from not knowing of your existence, to watching you get publicly embarrassed in a matter of minutes. While Namjoon isn’t a terrible guy, Jimin knows he doesn’t like anything to tarnish the gentleman reputation he’s built in the office. And as much as Jimin likes him, and surely likes his friend Jungkook, he can’t help but feel skeptical.

Jungkook hurriedly pulls out his phone and types away, letting his elder friend know of what he’s found out. Jimin swallows his food, and his pride, and hopes to god his growing cynicism is wrong.

Friday comes slower than you’d like. You wake up every day during the week, one day closer, and your eagerness hits peak levels. Namjoon sees you in the hallways during the week and winks at you, hands shoved in his tight slacks that make you salivate.  

He emails you again Thursday afternoon, confirming things and getting your address. You reply in nanoseconds, uncaring how overeager you come off. 

By the time your alarm clock rings on Friday morning, you’ve already been awake for 4 hours.

All you can do is daydream about the date, the way his hand fits into yours, the warmth of his eyes when he smiles at you.

It’s what fuels you through work.

You hope to god the numbers you’re attempting to work during the day come out right, because your mind is elsewhere for more than most of the day. There isn’t enough coffee in the world, but also your body feels as if you’ve overdosed on caffeine already.

The clock eeks towards 5:00 pm and you’re bolting out the door at 4:56 to head home and get ready for your date.

Jimin attempts to meet you before you leave, but your desk is cold and empty by the time he gets there.  

He sighs and heads back towards his office to gather his things, waving bye to various coworkers as they file out of the corporate building.

He turns the corner towards his office but stops in his tracks as he sees Namjoon’s back to him, phone pressed to his ear.

“Baby, I’ll come over later tonight, okay?” Namjoon speaks into the phone.

Jimin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He retreats and hides behind a wall, ear carefully peeled to listen to the tall man’s conversation.

“I’m going on this date with that chick from work,” he sighs. “It won’t last more than a few hours. Poor girl has a crush on me and you know the usual assholes won’t leave her alone.”

Jimin bites his lip and clenches his fist. Namjoon thinks he means well, but he knows his suspicions have been confirmed, and he’s torn inside. He wants to tell you, to warn you not to get too invested in the man, but he also has no interest in popping the bubble you’ve been in since the day he asked you out.

Jimin lets it simmer for now. He decides he’ll monitor Namjoon and cut things off if it appears the man strings you along for fun.

Namjoon finishes his phone call with a promise to see whoever is on the other end of the phone later that night, and Jimin quickly pulls out his phone and fakes a conversation with no one when he hears the man approach.

“Oh, Kookie,” Jimin giggles, leaning against the wall casually. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, either, babe.”

Namjoon walks towards Jimin and makes eye contact with the HR specialist.

“Bye, Kook! See you tonight, baby.” Jimin finishes up the fake phone call as Namjoon arrives next to him, and he plasters on his best fake smile.

“Congrats on you and Jungkook,” he speaks sincerely.

Jimin hates how nice he is, hates that he’s a nice guy who gets too wrapped up in his own good looks and reputation.

“Thanks, Namjoon,” Jimin smiles uneasily. “You too! Have fun on your date tonight.”

Namjoon’s face lights up and Jimin desperately wishes he could go back in time to 30 seconds ago, before he heard the conversation, and believe that Namjoon truly wanted to date you.

“Thanks, should be fun, huh?” He winks and nudges Jimin, before he waves a goodbye and continues out the door.

Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number of his boyfriend.

“Hey, baby. We’ve got a problem.”

tag list! - @jimidol @aretha170 @dearbambideer​ 

[enhypia]

JS ; exes

exes answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: park jongseong x gn!reader

genre: angst, mild fluff

words: roughly 1.7k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - jay speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and jay speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing, neglect, breaking up

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hello, i'm (y/n)

and i'm jay

we're (awkward eye contact)

uhh we're exes

[you guys were invited here today as exes for a fun little drinking game, you guys were aware of that right?]

yes

yup

*interviewer shuffles awkwardly

sorry it's just, our friends were the ones who signed up for us

yeah, we just found out about it three days ago

[but are you guys still okay with doing this?]

we're okay

just give us a few minutes to get used to environment

*(y/n) chuckles

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. are you guys ready? should we start?]

*jay nods

ready as i'll ever be

[how long were you guys together?]

we were together for almost 3 years

[how long have you guys been broken up?]

about a year and a half now

[who broke up with who?]

i did they did

[why did you break up with him?]

so this was all a year and a half ago okay? no coming for jay, he's grown, we've grown

thanks?

you're welcome

*jay laughs

uhh.. it just really reached a point where i felt neglected in a way? and it was just tiring? i kept thinking 'do i deserve this treatment?' and i hated that i was doubting everything, including his feelings. so i just said let's talk about it and then yeah we split up

*jay drinks and (y/n) laughs

sorry sorry

nah i just needed that

[okay, how about we officially start the q&a portion between the of you now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, jay wins

*he picks up a card and facepalms after seeing the question

goddamn

should i be scared?

not sure, but you might opt to drink though

[do you blame me for what happened to us?]

oh my god *(y/n) laughs

i know right

so we're unpacking emotions today? okay noted

you can just drink if you're not comfortable with it

i'll drink but i'll still answer, might ease your mind no?

*jay couldn't stop his head from nodding

*(y/n) drinks

i admit that i blamed you at first, but then i got to thinking that it wasn't just you, i was also at fault too since i never really vocalized what i felt? i just let it build up until it reached the point where you couldn't do anything about it anymore, and i couldn't too.

yeah but it's more of my fault since i felt something was wrong but i just brushed it off, i brushed you off.

....

shot?

*jay smiles slightly and both raised their glasses to cheers before drinking

we were both at fault and i don't blame you, jay. i hope you stop blaming yourself

*(y/n) smiles softly then picks up a card to stop any reply they might get from jay

god why are these questions so heavy? it wasn't like this from other episodes

*jay and crew laugh

okay, hit me

[what's your biggest regret about our relationship?]

what the fuck

SEE ?!

*both laugh and jay drinks

okay, next question

no, i'm answering

[we won't stop you but just reminding you both that it's okay not to answer if you drink]

the alcohol releases the unhinged-ness

in other words, this is really just us using the alcohol to actually say what we feel

i think you already the answer, and it's that i didn't do anything about us even if i felt something was wrong. i just kept on focusing on my career that i reached a point where i brushed everything off as nothing. and in the end, while i got the success i wanted, somehow i also feel like i'm on the losing end really.

*(y/n) drinks making jay laugh

what? it's my first time hearing all this !

it was a rough break so

omg is this our closure ???

*jay's eyes widened

and it's filmed ?!?!

*everyone laughs

couple goals *(y/n) does a hashtag

oh wait *(y/n) looks at jay

exes goals *both do a hashtag pose

*they laugh, ignoring the sting in their hearts

okay, okay moving on

*jay laughs again

is it a heavy one again?

nope

[do your friends hate me?]

*(y/n) bursts out laughing

please 😭

we have the same friends

we share a lot of mutual friends

that's why there was like tension for a month in the friend group because no one knew what to do

i'm sorry you had to endure all that friends

remember when they literally made an organized schedule to hang out where we wouldn't see each since the break up was still fresh?

yeah like i got heeseung on tuesdays

and i got him on thursdays

😭😭😭

we love them though, they did their best to console us both

thanks guys <33

*(y/n) picks up a card

goddammit

[do you think we could've actually worked out our problems?]

i think it's unfair that i get a lot of heavy questions

i have the power of god and anime on my side today

i think we could've, if i just had taken the actual time to reflect and sit down and talk, we could've worked it out.

*(y/n) slaps jay's arm

i told you, stop blaming yourself

k

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

*jay picks up a card and

oh

what?

*he is stuttering guys, he is fidgeting

[do you wish we were still together?]

oh

yeah

.....

*both drink

i mean-

*jay has been paralyzed, he did not expect (y/n) to answer

i'm happy where i am right now, maybe there are moments of weakness that the thought crosses my mind but i don't dwell on it too much. i think we're both still learning and growing.

*jay doesn't want to think about the fact that (y/n) never said a clear yes or no

*(y/n) picks up a card and groans

please just drink to this

why?

[what do you think of me now?]

....

drink.

no?

why?

because-

why?

i'm answering

why?

i want to?

no.

right now i'm just really proud of you.

*WORLD PAUSE, (y/n) is malfunctioning

it's a little sad that i didn't get to witness a lot of it but i promise i watched from afar and i'm so proud of you. like it makes me feel lighter in a way? knowing that you're still going and pursuing your dreams. it just made me at ease that -

*(y/n) drinks, looking very much like snow white's apples

are you blushing?

jay i will kick you

*he laughs and pinches (y/n) cheeks making them redder, (y/n) slaps his hands away

i won't hesitate bitch

how about you huh?

[what do you think of me now?]

*jay you should know not to tease too much or else it'll bite you back

i think you're absolutely amazing.

*jay could only blame himself

i am in constant awe and there's this pride that i have in me whenever i see you thriving. it's weird because i thought i'd be bitter about it, but since i knew of your goals and how passionate you were, all i felt was pride. it did hurt a little that i couldn't go "that's my baby!" anymore.

*alert! jay's ears are red and it's spreading to his cheeks and neck

okay next question!

*he quickly picks up a card making (y/n) burst out laughing

everything i said was true though.

hajima. stop. pause. i'm not listening

*(y/n) laughs at flustered jay

this is the last one.

[question for both: if you could tell me anything, what would you say?]

sheesh

same

rock paper scissors? loser goes first

*jay wins

*(y/n) drinks

can you turn around for this one, like don't look at me.

*jay followed

i want to say that,,,, that it's not your fault for putting your future first. it kind of stung since you made me feel like i wasn't a part of it but i know that wasn't your intention. i understand your actions and i don't blame you. if i was in your position i probably would've been the same. i'm sorry that i didn't try harder, like you said we could've made it work but i just got so tired, i hope you can forgive me for that as well.

okay i'm turning around as well, your turn

*(y/n)'s eyes are glassy, but jay doesn't need to see that

i want to say that i'm sorry for neglecting you. i feel like you're tired of me saying sorry but that's really all i could do. i forgive you by the way even if i don't get why you're apologizing to me. i also want to say that, it wasn't you. it sounds cliche but you weren't the reason i became like that, it was me. it was never you. so please don't blame yourself for anything. please don't question your worth because you were more than enough.

yah i didn't want to unpack that

well i still know you and i was given the chance to say it now so

*(y/n) turns around wiping tears, jay is sniffling

i need a drink damn

*(y/n) pours a shot and jay as well, both drink after clinking their glasses

[you guys good?]

*both looks at each other and chuckles

we're good

i can't believe we have to thank our friends for setting this up

*jay groans

[care to answer one last question that is in everyone's minds' right now?]

oh god

is it what i think it is

[will we see you guys be featured again? maybe exes to couples again?]

let's drink!

*both take one last shot and waves to the camera

*(y/n) shrugs and jay winks

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments (peep last one)

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: i was planning to post this sooner but my pharma prof suddenly dropped a 6-page activity lmao rip, im scheduling the timestamps i forgot to post last update sorry sorry. my angst skills are subpar forgive me but i tried my best. i hope you like this one too !! jake's will be uploaded next ! please look forward to it <33