#again ignore aira's age

[normalestenstars]

NiceP needs someone to look after 4piece kids! Who do you trust the LEAST to babysit them

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

Black Wedding [Chapter Two] Silver Tongue [Albert Wesker]

Aria didn't want to go home once she got into her car a little after seven this morning. She was too scared to be alone and far too tired to stay awake, cowering beneath her blankets in an empty home as she worried about being mauled to death in her sleep.

Even though none of the murders had occurred indoors, and despite Albert assuring her that she'd be fine nestled away in their home under lock and key, she was still too scared to go home. Aria didn't want to let her guard down, not when the murders occurred close to home. That sort of ignorance horrified her the most.

How could anyone sleep soundly knowing a person in the same community was dead? Murdered, no less.

Aria frowned and gripped the steering wheel.

Poor Mr. Webster.

Her heart went out to her.

His death shook her. Dr. Hersh called it at a quarter till five this morning, though he passed on before the EMTs arrived at his home on Wallace Street. His carotid artery had a puncture; his spine broken, causing him to bleed out in minutes during the alleged onslaught.

His wife passed years ago from leukemia, so Aria had to leave a voice message with his son, who lived in Washington, according to his address. In a soothing voice too unreal for a woman who just witnessed a horrific murder, Aria informed him to contact the Hospital Director once he heard it. Still, she doubted that Mr. Webster's son would get the message until much later, given the time zone.

An EMT that brought him in reported that a neighbor from across the street saw Mr. Webster get attacked by a black dog near the edge of the forest; several large chunks were missing from his upper body, unlike any canine attack Aria had ever heard of before. What was he doing near the woods in the middle of the night? And what drove the animal to attack him?

Perhaps the beast was starving. Why else would it eat him?

Aria shivered in fear.

She tore from the parking lot in her Audi and turned onto Mission Street, heading towards Central down to Ennerdale, where the police department sat; the prominent structure before 1969 was an art museum bought out by the RPD.

Aria transferred to Raccoon General in 1992 after its construction, coming from Stone Ville, a town northwest of the city, but she knew its history, despite how expansive Raccoon had grown during her time from home; the city continued to grow even now thanks to Umbrella Pharmaceuticals, and the company's investments.

Parking her car, she strode from the underground garage to the department's entrance, slowing her rushed pace once she entered the reception area to the right of the main hall.

She noticed a woman with dark hair that she had never seen before occupying the reception desk. As she approached, the woman glanced up from her computer in boredom.

“What can I help you with, ma'am?”

Aria cleared her throat. “I came to see Albert Wesker.”

The woman typed something into her computer and hummed, then tossed a laminated pass onto the counter; Aria hooked it onto the pocket of her scrub top.

“The S.T.A.R.S. office is up the stairs at the far end of the hall,” she explained in a dead tone. “Be sure to sign in before you go.”

Aria did as she instructed, then stormed down the hall, turning the corner near the entrance to the west office. As she neared the stairs, she came across Barry Burton at the vending machine, recognizing his hideous red vest.

“Isn't it too early for a break?”

Barry turned in shock, staring at her. Once he recognized who Aira was, he narrowed his eyes.

“I'm surprised that Wesker let you off the leash today,” he teased.

Aria snorted and rolled her eyes. Barry was uneasy about her marriage to Albert, mainly because she married him a year after meeting him. She hadn't even had a honeymoon yet, but that didn't matter; she loved Albert.

He was quiet and somewhat arrogant when prompted, but he never treated Aria like she was inferior to him. Albert kept her together.

Barry didn't understand. Not to mention he wanted to set her up with Chris – his good friend – despite the eleven-year age gap.

“Behave,” Aria teased. “I don't want to tell Kathy that you've been eating junk food when you're not supposed to.”

Barry grunted. “I said nothing.”

She thought so. Her older sister was a force to be reckoned with, and he knew it.

“What are you doing here, Aria?”

She frowned, recalling the events of this morning.

“I want to see Albert is all,” she explained.

Barry sighed, bending with a grunt to pick his candy bar up from the exit slot.

“You might want to wait,” he suggested. “Irons is up there bitching to him about something. He sent the entire unit out.”

Aria puckered a brow. “Is everything alright?”

It was none of her business, but she wondered if the meeting with Irons had anything to do with the murder on Wallace Street. But why involve the S.T.A.R.S. unit? The murders were not a product of antiterrorism or urban crime and were more suited towards the cases the Patrol Division officers oversaw.

Perhaps she was overthinking it.

“As far as I know,” Barry answered back.

Aria hoped so. She said her farewells, deciding to wait near the S.T.A.R.S office, but as she began to climb the stairs, she had an idea and peeked over the railing to call out to Barry down below.

“Do you think Kathy and the girls would like to visit the zoo Friday?”

Barry hummed. “I don't see why not. I'll ask them tonight.”

Aria thanked him and continued up the stairs to the second floor. She rested on the bench next to the office door and waited for Irons to leave.

Once he appeared, storming out into the hall as he uttered beneath his breath Aria stood and greeted him.

“It's good to see you again,” she mentioned with a fake smile.

Irons grinned, looking her over. “The pleasure is mine. How are things over at the hospital?”

“Fine,” she answered back.

He reached forward and gently touched her shoulder. “Ethan called me already. I heard about the man who died this morning, but I don't want you to fret, Aria. I'll take care of it.”

“I appreciate that, sir. Thank you,” she stated.

Albert must have known as well.

Easing over, Aria grabbed the knob and opened the office door.

“Try and get some sleep, Aria. You look tired,” Irons mentioned.

She nodded and slid inside, closing the door behind her.

His kindness was innocent, but at times it freaked her out.

Aria sighed and strolled further into the room. Albert had his own office immediately to the left after coming into the primary office; she entered once she knocked on the door.

He puckered a brow.

“Aria, what are you doing here?”

He seemed to be in an irritated mood.

“I came to see you,” she answered back. “But I can leave if it's not a good time.”

Aria was referring to what Barry had said; about Irons grilling him.

Albert motioned her in; she looked desperate.

Aria shut the door behind her and strutted towards the desk, coming around the side of it.

“I guess you heard,” she mentioned. “Mr. Webster – the widower on Wallace Street – was brought in this morning.”

Albert hummed. “Brad mentioned that it was an animal attack.”

“Another one near our street,” Aria confirmed.

He puckered a brow, watching as she sat on the desktop. Her tired eyes stared down at him; Albert understood.

“Are you too scared to go home alone?”

She frowned. “I hate how you said that.”

Like she could do nothing without him.

Aria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She had a terrible headache brewing.

“That wasn't fair,” she mentioned. “I'm just tired; forgive me.”

Albert opened his desk drawer and tossed her a bottle of Diphenhydramine.

“These will put me in a coma,” Aria joked.

He hummed. “Whatever makes you sleep easier.”

“You being home will make me sleep,” she countered.

That reminded her.

“Are you working this weekend?”

Albert nodded and stood up. “Something came up.”

Of course, something came up.

“But I'm home Sunday,” he added. “And we can catch up.”

Aria grinned. At least she had one day alone with him.

“Please tell me what you want for Sunday, and I'll cook for you,” she offered.

Albert grinned and motioned towards his seat. “I'll think of something. In the meantime, rest your eyes. I'll wake you before I leave.”

Her face heated up. “Thank you.”

How did he take her mind from one place to the next? It amazed her.

Aria hopped from the desk and embraced him. Her cheek rested against his chest.

“I'd be a mess without you,” she said with a laugh.

Albert snorted and buried his fingers into her coarse blond hair, aware that she wasn't joking.

Aria was a feeble pet, after all.

[houndofbel]

Re: Pan-Celtism and Celtic Descendants

Hi @aira-of-the-circle

I’m making my response in it’s own separate post as tumblr isn’t that great of a place for academic discussion, as I that’s something I prefer using the Gaulpol Discord for.

For those looking to follow the earlier part of this discussion, you can find it here:

https://aira-of-the-circle.tumblr.com/post/180820801915/once-again

Much of this confusion surrounds, the question of what exactly is a Celt? The word actually comes from ‘Keltoi’ what the Gauls called themselves, which means ‘descendants of The Hidden One’.

I understand your opinion of Celtic is that of an umbrella term for the religions/memories of religions of Celtic speaking nations and asserts that is in fact a label that exists beyond simple linguistics. I disagree, as the the Continental and Insular Celts (living in the times before, during and after the Roman occupations) actually had a super diverse ethnicity and religion, and the only thing that actually connected them was their language.

From Jean-Louis Brunaux’s Les Druides. Des philosophes chez les Barbares (French Edition):

“We wondered a lot about the reality of this little divine family. Was it conceived in this form among all Gallic peoples? The ethnic diversity of the peoples, the no less great of their political regimes and their strong particularisms make it doubtful. The Gallo-Roman epigraphic and statuary testimonies, certainly late, confirm in any case a religious geography of Gaul very contrasted if the figure of Mercury is very present at the beginning of our era in many regions of Gaul, it is often competed by Mars, Apollo, less often by Jupiter and in many cases by local or indigenous deities who do not find exact correspondent in the Roman pantheon.”

“As has been suggested above, Caesar himself could not forge this image of the Gallic gods by producing a synthesis based on the various information he could have obtained from the very mouths of Gauls encountered during his expeditions. He simply drew it from the work of Poseidonios.”

This dude is legit, as he is a researcher for CNRS and has done a bunch of excavations of Gaulish sites as part of his career.

If we think of Celtic in how archaeologists do, as an ancient people sharing a common material culture and distinctive (and cool) art style, Celtic would include the people of Central Europe (not just Gaul!) and British Isles in the late Halstatt period and all the way down to the Roman conquest, makes the argument that the Celts are dead entirely defunct because there are surviving languages, as well as material cultures.

Most Celtic scholars assign Celtic a linguistic significance for a reason. (Bettina Arnold goes over this. Her background: https://uwm.edu/anthropology/people/arnold-bettina/ as does Kim McCone, his background: https://www.amazon.com/Kim-McCone/e/B001K8513M) It’s done to eliminate the discrepancies I previously mentioned (through there are still a few issues). This means the people living in the six modern Celtic countries (Ireland, Scotland Wales, Brittany, Cornwall, and Isle of Man) or who currently speak / had ancestors who recently spoke a Celtic language are in fact Celtic. Not just Celtic either, but also the identity relating to their Celtic nation, like Gael or Cornish.

When it comes to the the past Celtic religions are inseparable and intertwined, many people see this initially and become stuck in the idea due to lack of appropriate knowledge. It ignores and dismisses the separation of each unique Celtic people by time, region, and cultural shaping events.  Basing the idea of a singular Celtic religion on a few cognate deities (some of which aren’t actually found in each Celtic speaking territory) Lugh, Llew, and Lugus come to mind but it’s important to keep in mind that Lugus isn’t actually directly attested in Gaulish speaking lands.

Are there similarities in each religion? For sure. Does that mean these unique traditions should be thrown together in a single melting pot that is Pan-Celtism? Absolutely not. 

Trying to sploosh the deities together doesn’t work. Ralph Häussler (his background: https://www.uwtsd.ac.uk/staff/ralph-häussler/) talks about Interpretatio and how complex it is among the Celtic speaking people, showing that these religions are individualized multiple levels:

https://www.academia.edu/7952176/R._Haeussler_Interpretatio_Indigena._Re-Inventing_local_cults_in_a_global_world

The thought might occur that an argument one might have for pan-celtism is how they all liked druids, so here is our boy JLB from before who talks about that in his book Celtic Gauls: Gods, Rites and Sanctuaries, specifically p. 59: “There are no grounds for maintaining that the druids, of all the peoples, held identical beliefs. Everything suggests the opposite: the diversity of pantheons and of social and political situations must have been reflected in druid philosophy and mythology. It is not even certain that druids existed everywhere. They are not mentioned in Galatia, where there is talk of priest-kings. In Cisapline, only vates are mentioned. The term druid seems to have been understood in two senses by ancient authors. One is a misleading generalization referring to priests as a whole. The other, more instructive sense only takes the category of great priests into account. In fact it is in this sense the word was used in connection with the Germans. This also seems to be suggested by the etymology of the word, if druid is derived from dru-uid, meaning 'very wise'. However, it could originally have been a term of difference by which the Celts themselves addressed these extraordinary figures. According to Caesar, druidic doctrine came from Britain. He added: 'even today those who want to study it in depth generally go to Britain for that purpose'. The last of the great druidic functions was the administration of justice. Caesar gives us an example when he says that during their great assembly at the centre of Gaul in the territory of the Carnutes, the druids arbitrated in international but also private disputes. These surely involved the most delicate matters that only affect the powerful. Minor judgements must have been given in each civitas. This justice, dispense during the greatest religious ceremony on a Pan-Gallic scale, had a preeminently ritual characters. This mixture of the sacred and the civic, which was never divided into two distinct spheres among the Celts, extended from the juridical to the legislative.The druids, as guarantors of institutions, supervised both their workings and renewal. The power meant that the druids had to be recruited almost exclusively from the nobility. Caesar tells us that many students came forward of their own accord, from personal conviction, but that many young Gauls were also sent by their families. In effect, each family wanted to keep an eye upon this body of priests and to participate in it's power through the agency of one of it's offspring. The daily life of the druids is practically unknown to us. Were they vowed to celibacy? Did they live in communities? the texts only seem to indicate that they could found a family and preserve their fortune. We only know for sure that they lived in sheltered retreat apart from the common crowd, without being disturbed either by war, work or dues of any kind. The druids had an internal hierarchy, found upon position in the curriculum of apprenticeship and later upon reputation for wisdom and personal charisma. Above them was a chief-a sort of Grand Druid- whose moral authority earned him this position. He was chosen by his peers, but sometimes there was a disagreement that might be settled by force of arms. These different bodies of priests were structured into a complex hierarchy. In fact, besides the druids, the ancient authors mention gutuatri, dates, bards, and so on. Each category occupied a position relative to the others, but it also seems that each individual had a determinate place within his category. The hierarchy, which allocated roles within ritual, shows up clearly in the different functions that the authors attributed to the druids. The druids were actually in a great variety of matters, from philosophy to sacrifice and from education to justice, and it seems hard to imagine that the same people consecrated the king and took charge of the maintenance of the sanctuary. Instead, the ancient texts give the impression of a crowd of priests sorted into grades, each of which had a determinate function. These different categories seem to have been structured and rigid, but certainly age, reputation and perhaps even political maneuvers inspired by the system of clientage permitted ascent on this hierarchical scale. Those who were not druids, but lived within their sphere of influence or were historically antecedent, surely had more flexible forms of organization. This could have taken the form of fraternities or secret societies, who initiation ceremonies served at once to give access and ensure cohesion. Social access to them was also wider. It is likely in them the plebs could find means of giving free rein to their sense of religion. It is an illusion to imagine a united druidic society - a society within a society - upon which all cult matter devolved and all of whose members had similar powers. This illusion was derived from descriptions of druidic assemblies in the forest of the Carnutes, which nineteenth-century historians wanted to interpret at the first stirrings of a nation. Instead, the situation of the priesthood was very similar to that of political forces: in full process of change in Caesar's time, it might differ in every detail from one people to another. The history of the druids closely linked with the destiny of kingship and the development of the civitas.”

So while Druids were cool, they were not central to religion, nor were they universal among the Celtic groups. 

While the Celtic religions may have sprung from a single progenitor religion, each of these traditions are separate. (Hence my interest to proto-Indo-European polytheism), but it’s fine if someone wants to take various gods from different Celtic speaking cultures and begin a new tradition with them. 

However, this does not make it ancient Celtic religions the same, or gods pan-celtic (I’m looking at you Wicca!). Additionally, I’d like to re-emphasize that Modern Celts exist, and still have their own separations. The Welsh aren’t Irish, their gods aren’t Irish, and their language isn’t Irish. 

Cheers,

Cunobelinus.

[aki-chan2014]

The happy, sort-of-slice-of-life AU that nobody asked for.

Under the cut in case of inadvertent spoilers (from having some details mirror things that occur in canon). Also, I couldn't find an AU role for all the characters (specifically Hitsuji, Snake, Dragon, Uuma and Usagi so if anyone wants to join me in the fun and suggest how they'd fit in then feel free to lol)

The story here centres around Misaki Yuki, a young woman from a wealthy, well respected family that's been around for generations. Her parents died when she was a baby, and she's been brought up by both her grandparents and a great uncle. As she's the only grand-child, she's basically been given the most ridiculously comprehensive, expensive education (fancy academic private school, all sorts of tutors for activites ranging from combat techniques to flower arranging) and also indulged ridiculously-she literally wants for nothing. But the upbringing is a good one, and she is happy/loved/popular, and she grows up into a likeable person with a strong moral compass. Though it shocks her guardians when she initially announces she's going into peace activism, and in truth they'd hoped that as the heir she'd take on some of their military enterprises, they figure that being who she is that the path she's chosen is the right one for her, and so they have no qualms with it. She spends a lot of time both on the front lines and behind the scenes in her job as a peace activist, and progresses up ranks quite quickly, and becomes fairly well known. And though many dislike her for halting wars, even more hail her as a hero.

One thing she didn't entirely expect was that she'd encounter Toshiko Ino very often in her work. Sure, the Ino family was a lot like hers, a long standing one with military connections, but even so. Misaki's never got along with Toshiko, being some years younger than her, but was childhood friends with the younger Ino sister, Kiyoko, who died in high school. Toshiko, for her part, finds Misaki meddlesome and annoying, but apart from snide comments, she's never done too much to her because of their families' connection. And now they see each other more often as adults, they both try to stay as far away from each other as possible. For the most part, it works.

Misaki does meet all sorts of interesting personalities in the course of her work, and none more interesting than Eiji Kashii and Kanae Aira. Eiji is a legend in the military, often known as the 'Genius' or the 'Natural Born Killer'. Someone like that, Misaki expected to be ruthless and the type to take pleasure in killing. The person she encountered was wise, careful and had a good sense of what was right and wrong, even if in some senses his definition of those things differed to hers. She ended up having an interesting debate with him the first time they meet, and though she doesn't manage to change his stance on warfare by the time they part, a mutual business-like interest has been established between them, and every so often when he has some downtime and is in the country, he breaks his reclusive streak to have dinner with Misaki in a fancy restaurant. They talk all sorts of matters, though nothing personal at all, so Misaki never learns what, exactly, Kanae is to Eiji. Someone important for sure-he seems to care for her and she seems to be his other exception to his reclusive streak, but beyond that, nothing. Kanae herself, the few times Misaki meets her, doesn't offer anything though her alcohol-soaked mind makes her more talkative and uninhibited. All Misaki knows of her is that she is a fighter who took up alcohol to stop her from being haunted by the horrors of the battlefield, and she hasn't been able to change Kanae's mind, either. Still, though they are not friends or anything like that, Misaki does look forward to these very sporadic dinners.

Back home, life is mostly ordinary. She meets her boyfriend (since he doesn't have a name in canon, let's just call him Rin) in fairly ordinary circumstances (while shopping for baking supplies), and they hit it off fairly quickly, though since they're both careful and sensible they wait until they've been together a year before moving in together into a very nice apartment with a great view. Though well off himself, Rin, a computer programmer,  is decidedly more ordinary/ has had a more mundane life than Misaki has, and so he has a little trouble adjusting to being a part of Misaki's colourful life. He also struggles with the image so many people have of her being a hero, though he admires what she does and doesn't try to stop her (even if he constantly worries). Rin does manage to reconcile his understanding of her with all this though, and really becomes her rock when she comes home after a failure ((He even meets Eiji one time though honestly the guy gave him nightmares for a week straight)). Basically, Rin and Misaki are perfect for each other.

In all truth and honesty though, the really weird part of their life together is decidedly a part of the more domestic side. Specifically, the two teens that the two of them somehow end up taking in: -The first is Tsugiyoshi Sumino, who is fifteen at the time. Misaki finds him asleep in the entranceway to the building her apartment is part of one morning in the summer holidays. She wakes him gently, and thinking that he's homeless or something, invites him up to feed him breakfast. Rin is surprised to see an unexpected guest and is a bit sceptical as to why an otherwise healthy, clean looking teen would fall asleep there like that, but Misaki overrides his concerns and makes breakfast for Tsugiyoshi, and proceeds to question him until she finds out his name and his circumstances. It turns out he has a home, but he's alone there, and always has been. He falls asleep a lot because he has a sleeping disorder of some sort (he doesn't explain it very well), and essentially has nobody in his life. And upon hearing that, Misaki decides to change that. Rin draws the line at Tsugiyoshi living with them and Misaki agrees, given he does have a home he seems happy with, but in every other way she tries to be the adult guidance that Tsugiyoshi has never had. And, sleepy, slightly apathetic, introverted teen he is, he pretends to resist but secretly likes it, and he blossoms visibly under the attention. He's a regular fixture in the apartment-other visitors will often be greeted with the sight of Tsugiyoshi sleeping on the sofa, eating cheese while playing smartphone games, attempting homework at the kitchen table or helping Rin or Misaki with chores.

-It is Tsugiyoshi who brings in Ryoka Niwa, a severely abused street girl who seems a few years older than him, though her exact age is never made clear. He finds her foraging in bins around the corner from the supermarket one evening as he picks up things Rin asked him to buy on his way to them. For reasons known only to him, he brings her to them with little explanation, whereupon he decides to flop on the sofa and sleep, leaving them in an awkward situation. Misaki is the first to recover, apologising on Tsugiyoshi's behalf, and trying to get a sense of who Ryoka is and where she came from. The girl reveals her name, but is too skittish and afraid to reveal more, and eventually Misaki just cleans her up and patches up her injuries, and they give her a meal. Ryoka seems to relax a little, but the moment Rin and Misaki's backs are turned she bolts out of there. But, the next evening, she comes back, and next evening, and the one after that, always bolting after a while and occasionally lashing out, apparently overwhelmed by the kindness. But each time she comes, she stays a little longer, and each time, she seems a little more relaxed. Eventually, she reveals snippets of her frankly horrific background, and eventually, Rin and Misaki end up having a talk and deciding that she has to live with them. So, she does. Given she's not used to a normal family life, there are a lot of problems at first, but she settles in eventually and just as Tsugiyoshi blossomed under Misaki and Rin's guidance, so does she, though in her case it's more like they redo her childhood with her for her so she learns to be a part of the world again. She befriends Tsugiyoshi too, forming a particular attachment to him because of how he found her.

But anyway, time goes by. Tsugiyoshi graduates from high school and drifts from job to job before finding what is apparently his dream job at a cheesemakers' while Ryoka, attending adult learning classes in lieu of school, eventually goes onto university and pursues a high-flying business career, and in the process discovers a love of hot springs and makes it her life's goal to visit every single one in Japan before she dies.  She pursues lot of problematic romances before eventually settling down, while Tsugiyoshi doesn't even seem to care about that kind of thing, and both are aware of Misaki's low-key hope they get together but cheerily ignore it. As for Misaki and Rin (very proud of their two little ducklings, as they often think of them as), they do eventually get married, and have a few kids of their own (two daughters, Kiyoko and Asami and a son, Ryuu-Asami is the youngest, Kiyoko the eldest, named for the childhood friend). Naturally, those kids are very much loved, with great grandparents and a great-great uncle as well as all Rin's extended family to spoil them, not to mention Tsugiyoshi and Ryoka (plus her SO) who become something of a cross between a much older sibling and an uncle/aunt to the kids. It helps considering that Misaki never does slow down her peace activism career, meaning she's away from home a lot. The kids all go to Michio Tsukui's daycare when they're little and love it a lot. Kiyoko is a similar age to Michio's adopted daughter and they also become friends, so Michio ends up a permanent part of Misaki's life as well. Kiyoko, Ryuu and Asami go through their schooling, pursue their paths, enter relationships and marry and have their own children and all that too. Misaki and Rin are incredibly proud of them too.

And when Misaki eventually dies peacefully after a long illness when she is very, very old, she is surrounded by all her family, both blood and chosen, and many friends too, secure in the knowledge that she lived the best life that she could.

[milliemichalchuk]

so we mibby trash.

There were things that Gabriella Gomez II learned from a young age. She knew a proper curtsey could make or break an appearance. Manners were everything, especially when photographed. And newspapers would say anything about her if that meant their tacky tabloids sold more. 

Breaking News: Princess Gabriella Stole Princess Svetlana’s Diamonds?!

More like Svetlana took her emerald necklace but whatever. 

Princess Gabriella Flashed the Prime Minister of Uruguay?!

That pig actually tried to sneak a peek of her bum, and she shoved him off. But, of course, blame her for that. 

Princess Gabriella Thinking of Abdicating the Throne?!

She would always pause at that headline. It was possibly the only one that might’ve had a glimpse of truth. Being the only prince or princess of her country meant that she would naturally succeed the throne. She was supposed to succeed and lead her country to bigger and greater successes. But would she be any good?

Gabby knew how not everyone believed she should take the throne. She heard their whispers of how she wasn’t good enough, not worthy of leading the country. She was well aware of how even her own father had less faith in her than her own advisors. Naturally it stung, but she understood not much would be done to persuade him otherwise. 

But things changed during the “World Leaders of Tomorrow”. Honestly she hadn’t expected much during the month-long conference. It seemed rather unlikely that anything drastic would transpire amongst young royals around the globe. She was well aware that it was mostly a public image makeover for the royals who needed it most. (Perhaps she did, but nothing would be cleaned up in a month. How dreadfully unrealistic.)

Yet her relationship with Mikhail Volkov would change everything, for better and for worse. And sure enough in Gabby’s case, things would get worse. 

 “Are you having a good time, Gabriela?”

No. She was at a conference she was being forced to attend. Sure, some of her friends were here but she already felt over this whole ordeal. But she couldn’t say that to the Queen of Monaco who stared at her expectantly. After all, the country of Monaco had been “ever so lovely” enough to host the event. 

Instead, she paused to think of a sufficient answer. “I think so” she eventually swallowed. “After all, this is only the mingler. I have a good feeling that, um, we as the future leaders will band together to have a good experience.” Did that make sense? Apparently it seemed sufficient enough for the Queen who nodded and excused herself. 

With the open bar inviting her in, she found herself glued to the stool as she threw back her glass to down a couple shots. She would need a good drink or two to get through the opening dinner. 

Gabby sat on the toilet, leaning her head into her hands as she groaned. She shouldn’t have drank. 

The bathroom doors swung open, and the Argentinean held her breath. She hoped that whoever needed to use the restroom would use it quickly to leave her in peace. To her surprise the stranger stopped at her stall and paused. 

A second later, the mysterious figure tapped their feet in short intervals. Tap. Tap tap tap. It took her a second before she realized who it was. 

“Aira, leave me alone and stop trying to talk to me in morse when we’re the only people in the bathroom” she groaned. 

  “I think Jude’s playing the ‘penis’ game with Noah right now” she noted as she tapped her cheeks. 

“Who?”

“Y’know. Danish prince. Brown curls. Bit of a crooked grin” she commented as Aira finally realized who she spoke about. “Got a whole bunch of flack from his parents when they found out he was dating a commoner.” Aira shot her a look, and Gabby corrected herself. “I mean, regular citizen.”

Sometimes Gabby forgot that Aira wasn’t royalty but a dignitary’s daughter. It felt like they’d been friends since forever, though they knew one another even before Aira’s father became president of Brazil. Using language like “commoner” irked her, and Gabby understood she needed to treat lightly. 

Viva la democracy, she supposed. 

  “Did you get exposed for wanting to call your crush ‘daddy’ today, Aira?” she asked irritatedly, trying to watch her growing temper. 

“No, but I also wouldn’t call any man ‘daddy’. Because apparently I’m not as kinky as you.”

“I’m not kinky!” she hissed, giving her friend a swift shove. “I’m just an idiot, alright?”

“It’s only stupid if it doesn’t work” she insisted

“No, it’s still pretty stupid. You think Volkov will just forget that?”

Letting out a loud and frustrated groan, she stomped her heels before squatting to the ground. Who the hell let her be a human being was beyond her comprehension. And she was supposed to lead a country? Double whammy. 

Gabby didn’t bother standing or look around when she heard footsteps approaching. “Fuck off” she grumbled assuming it was one of her best friends. She didn’t need their comments tonight. 

“What a lovely way to greet an old acquaintance” a wry voice smirked. Gabby raised her head only for her face to pale upon realizing who she cursed at. There was Alex Volkov, black shirt with the first few buttons undone and a mischievous grin on his face. His hair was tousled and the lipstick mark on his neck didn’t go unnoticed. Typical Alex fashion.

“When’d you get here?” 

“Oh, no ‘lovely to see you, Alex’? ‘I missed you, Alex’? I’m hurt.” 

“It’s so wonderful seeing you, Alex! I missed you so much!” she faked exuberance which caused him to chuckle. “You gonna tell me when you got here or what? Didn’t even think you were attending this summit.” 

“Didn’t plan on, but apparently my old man expected otherwise.” He took a draw of his cigarette, letting the smoke out in her direction. “Just got here so unfortunately I’ve missed dinner. Care to fill me in?” No doubt he already knew what was going on from the sly look on his face.  

  “Heard you’ve been calling my brother ‘daddy’, Gabriella” Alex smirked, tossing the cigarette butt to the ground before crushing it under his foot. 

“What’s your brother’s name again? I don’t recall.” She was feigning ignorance. Stupid move, but it seemed better than confessing. 

“Such a shame if you forgot. Heard he’s been interested in you. Been saying some things” 

“What’d he say” she eagerly asked, taking hold of his arm. All cool went out the door when it came to her crush. 

“I thought you didn’t even know my brother’s name.”

“It’s Leo. Full name Leonid. Just tell me!” she begged, tugging on his arm. 

 While Gabby dealt with quickly putting out fires from news sources besmirching her reputation, Alex thrived on such outlets flaunting his poor notoriety. The worse the story, the better it was for him. 

Rumors swirled about the tscarevich that were difficult to ignore. The stories of him starting fights at clubs were numerous, often him leaving shiners on his enemy that day. He staggered out of the venues, slick smile across his drunken face as he tossed an arm around a pretty little thing with no remorse for his actions. 

His destructive tendencies extended to the bedroom as well. It was well known that Alex had numerous affairs, none lasting more than a week if a woman were so lucky. Any woman that showed any type of affection towards him was quickly dismissed and relegated to a fun mistake. 

If Gabby was an impending storm, Alex was a violent tsunami already raging on as he dragged and sank everything in his way. 

She only met him a handful of times before the conference, developing a strange bond with the man. He wasn’t the first born of his country, but she didn’t dismiss him as hastily like others did. She saw the way that his eyes scanned the notes of Russian foreign trade agreements, often whispering to his eldest brother political advice. Gabby knew better than to count the middle child out.

It was easy enough to relegate Alex to the title of acquaintance. She could easily call him a friend, but she knew he would dismiss that easily. He was difficult to crack, and she hadn’t any interest in opening up to him. The only thing he most likely would prefer was for her to open up her legs. She didn’t care for those sexual activities. At least not with him. Who she did care about was his older brother, Leo. 

Leo had always crossed her mind, a glimmering beacon of possibility. For what, she herself had no clue. The crowned prince of Russia was blessed with good looks and despite his often brooding personality, he could charm women quite well. He would shower them with compliments and poetry, and Gabby couldn’t help but become smitten when he finally showed her the time of day. 

“I’m not one of your conquests” she would text him, rolling her eyes at his flirtatious comments. 

“Never say never, Gabby” he would reply. If it was possible, her eyes would pop out of their sockets from rolling her eyes too hard with how much she couldn’t stand his ways. 

Her father’s relationship with Leo hadn’t improved since their first run in. After all, what father reacts well to finding out that their child calls another man ‘daddy’? 

Gabby hadn’t meant for that information to leak. In fact, that wasn’t something she wanted to even have a conversation about in the first place. But when a scandalous gossip blog leaked her private details, there wasn’t much she could do besides face her father and -

She wondered how long this relationship would last -

The break up had been messy in the politest of terms. Leo questioning her frantically as she persisted that this was for the best. “Gabby, you’re being ridiculous” he insisted, his grip on her wrist tightening as she shook her head. 

“I’m being realistic, Leo. Neither of us is going to abdicate our thrones. It’s not going to happen.”

“I’d give up being Tsar if it meant we’d be together.” His words struck her in the same manner when he asked her to be his girlfriend. The notion shocked her, almost made her heart melt, but this wasn’t their fate. 

She couldn’t bear to hear all the comments about how she took the rightful heir away from Russia. The Russian tszar never approved of Gabby from the start, and now he had even more of a reason to despise her. How long would it take for her to crack? A year? Perhaps less? No, Gabby wasn’t as strong as she wanted to be perceived. 

“I can’t do this, Leo” she choked out. 

“So that’s it? You’re going to throw this away?” he yelled at her. He cursed in his native tongue and while she couldn’t understand all of it, she picked up enough to understand he would never look at her the same way again. 

“You’re an absolute idiot for doing this, Gabby” he scowled before slamming the door shut. The next day not a trace of Leo was left. He took away everything, even the picture frame that had sat on her desk. 

All traces of their relationship from social media vanished with only the small slivers left on her Instagram. Leo made it clear she was no longer welcome in his life by blocking her on all of his accounts. She didn’t blame him, but it didn’t sting any less. 

Friends would ask her how she was doing. It was strangely easy enough for her to lie. She could fake it, pretending it didn’t bother her. Even her closest friends who had their suspicions were easy enough for her to fool if she gave enough of an elaborate story. She could trick Aira into thinking that Leo was a jerk, creating fake memories of how he never listened to her or that he didn’t connect with her the way she wanted him too. 

But it didn’t stop the tears from flowing at night. She would cry herself to sleep, replaying Leo’s final words to her. 

oKAY but gabby never really talking to alex after the break up

Not because she doesn’t want to but because she doesn’t know how to be normal

So she doesn’t message him 

Which seems alright because he doesn’t actively message her either

But then the birthday incident strikes

And she thought that maybe things would get repaired with alex

Except he never messages her

So she’s realizing that maybe this bond wasn’t as strong as she thought it was

It’s her birthday party and she’s got this club rented out for her 

Which sounds fun in theory but it’s just a bunch of royals/diplomats getting trashed for the sake of fun

And she can sing and dance and sway to the music trying to drown herself  in anything but her own thoughts, but she keeps thinking about leo 

How Leo would always wrap his arms around her waist, pressing tender kisses along her cheek before moving down to the jaw and then to her neck

How Leo’s lips would curve upwards as she giggled feeling his breath ghost over her neck like such

And how he’d whisper how sexy she was dancing even though she knew she looked like an absolute idiot. But not for one second would she think otherwise of how he felt about her

But he’s not here with her now in the club. And she can laugh about how silly Aira is being or how her best friend is hollering how much he loves his girlfriend over the blast of music, but the thoughts would haunt her of what Leo would be doing if he was with her

And the night gets worse as it goes along 

Someone throws up on her shoes - barf! - and some stupid dutchess tries to start a fight with her, yanking her hair and eventually shoving her hard enough that she stumbles into a bench and twisting her ankle

So Aira is helping her out of the venue as paparazzi swarm them

“Gabby! Is it true you’re giving up the throne to your cousins?” “Gabby! Gabby, look this way!” “Gabby, is it true that you’re now Leo’s mistress since he’s getting married?” 

“Fuck off” Aira pipes up at that leaving a flustered Gabby to process what was just said

“Is it true he broke up with you to be with her?” “Do you think they’ll be a good power couple?”

No one’s wishing her a happy birthday or anything. They just want information from her like always. Some juicy story to make money

And perhaps because she’s so frazzled that she slips out of Aira’s grasp and falls to the pavement scraping her legs

“That’s one way to get her on her knees. Leo knows the other way!” someone shouts in the crowd and she feels downright humiliated 

One of her friends threatens to beat the guy up while Aira and Jude help her up and quickly to the car

The next day the tabloids have slandered the absolute crap out of her

But the one that stings the most is one of her looking frazzled, hair messy, makeup smudged, eyes confused 

The headline reads “Princess Gabby a Mess Without Leo!” And it stings

And the video is circulating all around the internet of her falling and the comment that follows

She gets the texts from her friends telling her to ignore it, that it’s total garbage

But she can’t help but want one specific person to tell her it’s false and she hasn’t talked to him in five months

“Alex do you think I’m a mess?” she’s never been one to beat around the bush with him so why start now

She stared at her phone waiting for a response. An hour passed by and she picked up the phone to send another message. 

Gabby: Alex - is this still your number?

There was no notice that the number was disconnected. Perhaps it was someone else’s phone number now? No, someone would’ve at least said that this was a new phone. So she decided texting again. 

Gabby: You know yesterday was my birthday, right? Gabby: Did your brother see the newspaper? Gabby: Alex, will you please just talk to me?

Nothing.

Gabby: I’m gonna call you. Please pick up. 

She pressed the call button and put the phone up to her ear. Two rings and she was immediately taken to voicemail. It was clear he was ignoring her. 

Her heart ached as she stared at the phone screen. She wasn’t sure why this hurt so badly. 

Gabby: Call me when you get a chance. 

She’s not sure why this hurts so badly but she can’t help but stare down at her phone, wishing he’d just say something to her

HFDSHFHSF I FORGOT ABOUT THE LABBY ONE X ONE HSHFHSD I’M ABOUT TO FUCK SHIT UP SO BADLY HAHAHAHA

Valentina Cortez (val) princess of Spain

Gabriel Orsini (Gabe) prince of Italy

Okay but keeping that Gabby is now engaged to Gabe 

And that Leo is engaged to Val 

Except they’re not even dating anymore in this scenario so it’s Gabby having to hear about this engagement about her ex-boyfriend from a fuckin tabloid

And she’s not even sure what to think about that 

Because honestly she’s just stunned that she’s the last one to know when they thrust the microphone in her face, asking her how it feels to know that Leo’s set to marry Spain’s “wild child”

She’s never even met this Valentina girl, so she’s not even sure what to say to that

And Gabby’s only met Gabe a couple times, but their engagement is currently being kept under wraps because they’re trying to get all the logistics figured out when Gabby finally ascends the crown

Which only stresses Gabby out even more

Gabriella hadn’t seen or talked to Alex post-breakup. 

Because how do you talk to someone normally once you break up with their brother

Fun fact: you don’t and you pretend that whatever friendship you built with them never existed

And it’s not like it makes a difference because he never bothers to reach out to her

“Gabby” he breathed out her name softly. She relaxed at the sound of his voice, letting her eyes flutter shut. 

She turned around to take him in. He was still taller than her, standing straight as he looked at her. His hair was slightly disheveled though she knew this was on purpose. The popped collar with the first couple buttons undone was also a strategic look she was familiar with. But there Alex Volkov was in all his handsome glory. 

“Hello, Alex. Glad to see you again.” Gabby would later regret that statement as she found herself wondering how the hell this man always had a hold on her. 

“You wanna talk about something, Alex? Then let’s fucking talk!” she snapped, giving him a shove. He stumbled back, surprised by the amount of force. 

“You and your brother wanna demonize me? Fine! Go ahead! The newspapers do it all the time so what’s new? I don’t give a fuck!” she shouted, voice getting louder as she spoke. 

“But what you can’t say is that I didn’t try.”

“You broke it off with Leo. How’s that for trying?”

“Is that what he told you?” She let out a harsh laugh looking at his fierce gaze. “Did Leo also tell you he had plans of abdicating the throne?” She took his silence as a no. “How well do you think that would’ve gone over with your father, Alex? How well do you think the newspapers would’ve made it for me and him? You think they would’ve been nice to us? You think your father would’ve acknowledged my presence then when he wouldn’t even talk to me when I visited your stupid country?”

“You didn’t break up with him for his sake, Gabby. You broke up because you were scared.”

His words cut deeply. Of course she had been scared. There was no doubt about that. But if he only saw her actions as someone terrified of the future, then he didn’t know her at all. 

“Get out” she whispered on the verge of tears. He leaned in to touch her, but she swatted his hand away. “Get the fuck out, Mikhail.” 

“Why? Cause you’re in love with him, Gabriella?” he sneered, shaking his head. 

“It doesn’t matter if I lo-”

“Bullshit. You’re doing this because you’re scared.” There he went again, saying how she was scared. 

Right as she was about to dismiss him, he continued. “It’s fine if you’re not in love with him, Gabby. But don’t pretend that he’s going to make you a better ruler if he’s by your side.”

“Because you know so much about how to run a country” she snapped. She heard the malicious tone and regretted it immediately. “I’m s-”

“Save it.” 

“Did you tell Jude?” She shook her head. “Aira?” Another shake of her head. “Who else knows?” 

“It was my birthday, Alex.” He said nothing. Both of them knew the truth. He received the texts from her, but never responded. 

“It was my birthday, and you didn’t say anything. Not even a ‘happy birthday’” she choked on her words, tears forming in her eyes. “I know you saw the video. I know you did. Everyone saw it. And everyone was...Everyone was fucking awful.” That night replayed in her mind, how the paparazzi mocked her relentlessly. And where was Alex? 

“We were best friends! Did that mean nothing to you?” The tears slipped out as her body sunk, finally clearing the air of the incident that always bothered her deeply. “You were supposed to be my friend!” He moved closer to her, pulling her in slightly. She could feel that he was trying, attempting to be sympathetic. Yet it wasn’t enough. 

“Where were you, Alex?” she cried, slamming her fists into his chest. “I needed you. I needed you, and you weren’t there.” He said nothing, only holding her hands as they hit him repeatedly. He would let her cry until she was finished, unable to give her an answer. 

She knew he would never tell her, even if she begged for an answer. Before the break up she thought she understood him. Gabby was getting somewhere with him, breaking down his walls slowly but surely. And now after all this time, it was as if nothing happened. She was no better than his past conquests. 

“Gabby, I...care about you. But I care about my brother’s wellbeing too. I wasn’t going to let him ruin himself.” 

“So you would let me sink instead.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“So am I.”

She sucked in a long breath, trying to compose her breathing. He handed her a tissue, which she took and cleaned her face with. Looking in the nearby mirror, she barely recognized herself. Her face was splotched with makeup running. Her eyes were swollen. Rubbing her face roughly, she took a look at Alex. 

OKAY BUT HIM SHOWING UP TO THE CLASSES THE NEXT DAY SLIDING NEXT TO THE SEAT NEXT TO HER

AND HE’S PRETENDING AS IF NONE OF THIS HAPPENED

THEN THAT’S WHEN GABBY SEES IT

HE’S WEARING THE MIBBY JACKET

AND FOR A SECOND SHE MIGHT BE DREAMING

BUT SHE PINCHES HERSELF AND SHE REALIZES SHE’S AWAKE

AND THERE’S ALEX LEGITIMATELY WEARING THAT JACKET HE CONSTANTLY COMPLAINED ABOUT AND SWORE HE BURNED

HE SLIDES HER A NOTE THAT SAYS “DON’T GET USED TO IT.”

AND IT’S NOT A LOT BUT IT’S ENOUGH FOR HER TO KNOW THAT HE’S TRYING

EVEN THOUGH ALEX DIDN’T CHOOSE HER, SHE’S ALWAYS GOING TO BE ON HIS MIND WHETHER HE FIGHTS IT OR NOT

It seemed rather silly, crying over a dog she only knew for a couple of years. But Anya’s presence always comforted her that it was only natural that Gabby mourned the passing. 

Leo let her rest on his bed as she she sniffled, thinking about how life could be so unfair, taking away lives that mattered the most. 

“Leo, we can’t do this” she murmured, pulling away from his kiss. 

“Why not? I know you don’t love Gabe. And I don’t love Val.” It was the confirmation she wanted to hear, yet it didn’t make her feel happy in the slightest. “So what’s the problem with us being together?”

“For starters, I’m in love with your brother” she thought to herself. 

“I’m not allowed to like Alex, Aira”

“Who the fuck said that?” 

She internally groaned, wishing that she didn’t have to deal with Aira’s stubbornness. “Everyone, okay?”

“I say you can like him, and I’m part of the everyone club. So not everyone is saying that.”

“You know what I mean” she scowled at her best friend. 

“So you’re not gonna tell Alex you like him because you think people might judge you?” Why did she make it sound so easy, as if telling Alex her feelings would make everything become alright?

“Because I can’t, Aira! Okay? If I tell him, what then? I become the bad guy again! I let down my parents for not marrying the person they chose! I ruin the relations with Italy! I’m some slut who can’t keep it in her pants for the Volkov men!”

“When have you cared about what others think?”

“Since forever!” 

“Was I actually your best friend, Alex?” Silence filled the room. Gabby wondered if it had been difficult for him to separate himself from her during the break up. He always seemed to be fine, get back on his feet with considerable ease. But for the first time she was left contemplating if he wasn’t as strong as he appeared. 

The two of them had such similarities that they shouldn’t have worked. They had their stubborn natures and their desperate desire for at least a semblance of acknowledgement from their fathers. While she would never be good enough to rule, he would never earn the right to rule. 

As he laid on his back staring at the ceiling, she got on the bed and laid beside him. His slight flinch at her joining went without comment from either party. She held her hands over her stomach, feeling the weight of her breathing as it slowly heaved up and down. 

“Yes.” Her head turned slightly, acknowledging his one word answer. She wasn’t used to his vulnerability. 

Turning back to stare at the ceiling, she knew she’d regret saying the next words. Still, there was no way she could let it eat at her the way it did. She knew what would happen, how nothing would get resolved. But she wasn’t looking for a solution; she was looking for a sense of freedom from the words that tugged at her heartstrings. 

“I’m in love with you.” She swallowed, letting her words linger. “I’m like, stupidly in love with you. Not your brother. Not Gabe. Just...you, Alex.” 

She didn’t hear him move, not even a single rustle. For a second she thought she might’ve made up the moment in her mind. But when she looked back at him, face hard and cold, she knew he heard her. It was fine for her to know that he would never reciprocate it back. 

“See you tomorrow.” The bed creaked as she sat up. Gabby smoothed her hair, refusing to turn in his direction. Once again she heard no noise from him. She found herself walking straight ahead to his door and letting herself out of his room. 

Her heart ached more than she could bear. Why did it feel like she had been treated in the same manner of his usual conquests? This low and unworthy feeling of not being good enough for another tscarevich crept into her thoughts as she rested her back against his doors.

[scriptautistic]

Planet Dancetime: Social Skills and Functioning Labels

If you’re allistic, it might be difficult to imagine what life is like for an autistic person. That can make it difficult to write from an autistic perspective. In order to help facilitate understanding, I, Mod Aira, have come up with an extended metaphor that I hope will be helpful. This is the first in a planned series, and it will cover some of the basics of social interaction as well as the harm that functioning labels do.

Please note that this series is written from my perspective and according to my personal opinions and experience. It will not necessarily reflect the reality of all autistic people, but it is one authentic perspective.

Imagine that tomorrow, you wake up on another world. It's called Planet Dancetime. The people there look just like humans, except their social rules are insane. They do a complicated dance while they talk to each other, and all communication is carried out in this dance-talk. At first, you can't make any sense of it, but slowly you start to puzzle some of it out. When you speak to a woman, you have to stand on your right foot the whole time. When you speak to a man, you have to stand on your left. If someone is non-binary, you have to stand on your toes. You also have to touch the shoulder of the person you're talking to every ten seconds exactly. If you don't follow this rule of *precisely* every ten seconds, you're being very rude. When you're telling a happy story, you have to wiggle your shoulders, starting with the right side and working your way left. Sad stories are the opposite. For *angry* stories, the wiggle is in the eyebrows. You also have to indicate your emotional state and age at the time the story happened by a complicated motion in your fingers set to a specific beat, and your *current* emotional state by the particular angle at which you hold your elbows and wrists.

There are still countless other rules here, more than you can figure out. The Dancetime people are constantly making strange gestures and movements. The crazy thing is, it seems to be effortless for them. How can they possibly keep track of all these rules? You decide to ask someone.

The response is not positive. You get the most disdainful look you've ever seen, and the explanation, "It's obvious. Just use common sense."

Well that isn't helpful. How could they possibly conceive of this system as being obvious? And if it's so simple, then why can't they explain it?

At long last, you come to an epiphany. Of course this system isn't simple. In fact, it's so complicated that the only way for them to manage it is for their brains to handle it subconsciously. A massive amount of their brainpower is devoted to decoding, remembering, and carrying out all these convoluted rules. And their bodies are naturally conditioned for it, too. They can stand on one leg for hours without any effort – it's just the way they evolved. But you can't. Your brain is busy doing other important things that these people hilariously can't do (more on this another time), and it's not about to take over all those extra responsibilities now. You have no easy options, and you're stuck here now, so you have to make a choice.

Option one is to say – hell with it. Maybe you just don't have it in you to do this – you just can't get your head around it, and it's impossible for you. Maybe you have a physical issue that prevents you from dance-talking, or you just don’t have the type of memory required to learn dance moves, or the multitasking ability necessary to count and talk at the same time. Or maybe you just decide: I'm not going to bother with their stupid rules. I'm going to stand on two feet when I talk, and I'm not going to count to ten silently in my head while I'm talking so I can time the shoulder-touches properly – I mean, who could even do that? I'm just going to be me, and they're just going to have to deal with it.

This does not go well for you. When you fail to follow their dance-talk rules, these people freak out. Some of them are angry – how dare you insult me with your non-dance body language? Even worse, it turns out that some movements that you make entirely naturally which have nothing to do with conversation, or some aspects of your normal, natural body language, are actually grave insults in dance-talk. You can’t figure out which things you’re doing which are so wrong, and no one will explain it to you. Many people think you’re extremely rude. But some of them are scared or worried and are determined to figure out what’s wrong with you. You are quickly surrounded by "experts" who want to help you. After all, you couldn't possibly survive without the ability to dance-talk. You obviously suffer from some kind of hideous disorder. You try endlessly to explain that you can talk just fine without the dancing, that there's nothing wrong with you, but they won't have it. If you talk without the dance moves, they ignore everything you say like it's some kind of incomprehensible babble. If you can't dance-talk, then you obviously have a disability, and you need to be cared for. You're obviously not intelligent enough to communicate, so you're automatically not intelligent enough to care for yourself. You wind up in an institution with the others who have been diagnosed with "low-functioning human disorder", also known as “severe humanism”. The nurses look at you with pity in their eyes and don't bother talking directly to you. You hear them talking (as though you’re not there) about the tragedy of your extreme human-ness, how terrible it must be to live that way, and what a burden you are to those around you. You try to scream: it wouldn't be terrible if you'd just leave me alone! But your screams, lacking their accompanying dance moves, fall on deaf ears.

So let's consider the other alternative. You can try to puzzle out the dance-language and see if you can fit in well enough to get by. Not everyone has this option – I mean, the dance-language is obscenely complicated, after all. But maybe you're one of the lucky ones. Maybe you have a good memory for movements and are good at figuring out or guessing when to use each one. So you give it a shot. And after a lot of trial and error, you start to find some success. Your dance moves are still a bit off, and you get funny looks pretty frequently. Eventually, you get "diagnosed" with "high functioning human disorder" and told you should be fine as long as you put in enough effort. You ask that maybe someone teach you some of the dance moves, and you are rudely dismissed as being lazy or pretending to be disabled so that you can get more attention.

This is the same reaction you get every time you make a mistake. And of course, you will always make mistakes. There will always be days when your legs are simply too tired, and you have no choice but to stand on two feet for a while. Sometimes, when you're trying to talk about something, you just can't spare the brain power to count to ten over and over again, and you miss a few shoulder-touches. Sometimes you’ll get the wrist and elbow angle just slightly wrong and give entirely the wrong tone to a conversation. And sometimes you encounter a social situation you've never learned the moves for, and there's no possible way for you to do it right.

Every single mistake is met with indignation. How dare you insult us that way? You apologize and try to explain that even though you're pretty good at it, this dance-talk still doesn't come easy for you. It doesn't help. Your explanations are written off as lazy excuses. Everyone knows you are perfectly capable of using dance-talk. You do it all the time. The fact that you're not doing it now obviously means that you are doing it on purpose. You are intentionally insulting those around you, and they don't appreciate it.

The looks, the stares, the muttered insults, they eat away at you. You are doing your best, damn it. You are doing infinitely better than should ever have been expected of you. You put so much energy into the most basic conversations, you don't even have enough left over to care for yourself. You haven't been eating well, with no energy to cook. You suffer from constant anxiety – fear of the next mistake – when (not if) will it happen? How will they react? But no one appreciates that. No one helps. No one explains the mistakes you've made – and usually, you have no idea what you've done wrong. You're expected to just figure it out on your own, and are punished for each misstep, because damn it, you might be technically human, but they're not about to let you use your humanness as an excuse for rude or lazy behavior.

You feel the constant underlying threat all the time: if you can't dance-talk like the rest of us, if you stop trying or make too many mistakes, then we'll change our minds about you. We'll change your diagnosis to low-functioning human disorder, and stick you in the institution with the others. We'll never speak to you again. We'll never look at you as a person again. You'll just be a lump of flesh that we have to feed and bathe. So you'd better try harder.

The best case scenario you can hope for is that people will find out you're human and say, "Oh, wow! You barely look human at all! You should be so proud of yourself." Human is an insult. Not human is a compliment. That's the world you find yourself in now. And sometimes you start to wonder – are they right? Is being human really a disability? Is there something wrong with me? Now you can add a fight against depression to the list of things you have to deal with. There are days when you wonder if the effort will ever be worth it. You feel hopeless and lost.

All because dance-talk doesn't come naturally to you.

Now, disclaimer, here: this is a simplified analogy of how functioning labels can feel, and the ridiculous basis on which they are assigned. The reality is a little more complicated and there are more factors, some of which we'll explore later. And as always, we repeat: everyone’s experience is different, and not all experiences are reflected here. This story is designed to help those who are not autistic start to understand what life is like for those who are. This really is how it feels for a lot of people, myself included. These are the choices I feel I have. I can relax and give up and just be "me" without apology, and then I am liable to lose everything – my job, my friends, my life. Or I can try to fit in and act like the others, at an enormous energy cost, and often not have the strength left over to take care of myself. They call me "high functioning", but they're ready to take that shiny little badge away at any moment – and they would have taken it away long ago if they saw how I am at home at the end of a stressful day.

A far, far better situation would be to do away with the functioning levels entirely. Judge each person based on their individual attributes, and try to understand that under other circumstances, they might be very different. Sometimes I can talk, and sometimes I can't. Acting "normal" takes a lot of energy, and sometimes I don't have enough left to do it. But I'm still able to live independently, and still have many strengths and abilities – many that "allistic" people typically do not have.

So please, when you’re thinking about writing an autistic character (and good for you! hooraaaayyyy!!!!), don’t think of them in terms of high- or low-functioning, in terms of “severe” or “mild” autism. Instead, think of a list of traits, what they’re good and bad at, what comes easy and what doesn’t. Your character is as individual as you are.

Happy writing!

-Mod Aira

[cstesttaken]

Winning With Content Marketing – Key Takeaways From Our Latest Digital Marketing Event

It’s been a busy few weeks here at The Tomorrow Lab with events very much taking centre stage of late.  This week Ruth visited London and the popular Heroconf Conference, while last week both Jess and William spent a day in Dublin at one of our personal favourites, Learn Inbound.  Prior to that, we were involved in two digital marketing events in Northern Ireland, hosting our third ‘The Tomorrow Lab Presents’ event of the year, along with speaking at the inaugural Digital Vault in Newry, in association with the Newry Junior Chamber.  The guys will be sharing their top takeaways from both Learn Inbound and Heroconf in the coming weeks, but today I wanted to provide a quick recap on our recent event, ‘Winning With Content Marketing’.

Another full house for The Tomorrow Lab Presents

Our third digital marketing event proved to be another sellout with some 100 people coming along to The Oh Yeah Music Centre in Belfast to find out about all things content marketing.  Our events have been steadily growing in 2016 and we look forward to welcoming some amazing speakers to the events in 2017, as we continue to bring some of the best minds in the digital industry to Belfast to share their knowledge with local companies.  In our latest event, I had the pleasure of speaking alongside three phenomenal industry speakers, including two guys that I have watched in awe at events in Brighton and Manchester.  Stephen Walsh from Buzzsumo (our go to content marketing tool here at The Tomorrow Lab), Paddy Moogan from Aira in Milton Keynes and Stacey MacNaught from the award winning Tecmark in Manchester.

The guys covered a range of areas in relation to content marketing, and it’s fair to say that those in attendance on the day certainly left with plenty of nuggets of information to take back to the workplace.  The Tomorrow Lab Presents is all about sharing knowledge and providing tips and insight to allow local companies to develop their own digital marketing offering and begin to grow and compete online.  Below are some of the key takeaways from the various talks of our speakers.

Stephen Walsh – B2B Content Marketing Insights – What Does The Data Tell Us?

Elements of viral content:

Stephen began by looking at the type of content that tends to go viral and found there were a number of elements that can influence this.  When it comes to creating viral content there are 5 elements involved – emotion, content form, a topic, a format and a promise.  As the chart below shows, there is no one size fits all to viral content, although if you begin your content creation phase by focusing too much on ‘going viral’, you’re focusing on the wrong metric.

Stephen also shared 9 ways to create content that has the potential to go viral, and this include – element of surprise, leveraging a trend, inspiring people, list of pictures, be amusing, be controversial, share secrets, create a quiz, and if all else fails, babies and cut animals can work a treat.

Creating viral headlines:

So much of content marketing is about the headline.  A good headline can often be the difference in a prospective customer reading your content or simply ignoring it.  The master of this is of course Buzzfeed, but it’s important to have all of the core elements from above included in a title.  A good example of this is below.

Social networks for B2B content:

A common question from our B2B clients is “why should I use Facebook, my customers aren’t on there?”.  While this is true to a certain extent, as during the day they might avoid Facebook, but the chances are that in their non-work time they will spend some time here engaging with friends and other content.  Buzzsumo checked the 100 top B2B sites and found that Facebook was the main social channels in terms of average content shares but Twitter and LinkedIn both perform better when median is taken into account.  The key takeaway here, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn should be your go to for social media in a B2B space, although it’s always important to spend time finding out what works best for your company and customers.

Long form content vs short form content:

Another age old battle is long vs short.  What should you do, write more articles with less content or fewer articles with more content.  Well, the answer is both will work, but when it comes to social shares, long form content tends to perform better on average, with articles of 2,000+ words receiving more shares.  There are fewer of these articles being created however, 45 of the top 50 most shared B2B articles measured by Buzzsumo had less than 1,000 words!!  As with before, it’s about finding a balance that works for your company and trying to find a mixed approach here.  Look to produce a real detailed long form piece of content every quarter, and support it with shorter form content on a more regular basis.

Listicles still work:

If someone tells you listicles don’t work in the world of content marketing, you’re probably safer never speaking to that person again :-)  In the research conducted by Buzzsumo and shared with Stephen during his talk, they found that list articles made up 30% of all B2B content with more than 3,000 shares, and lists beginning with 10 and 5 averaged 6,398 and 5,214 shares respectively.  That’s quite a lot of content being shared online.  Odd numbers can also work quite well with lists, and for some strange reason, Stephen and the Buzzsumo team discovered that the number 23 tends to perform really well with listicle content.

What works best on Facebook?

Another common question both in the B2C and B2B space is when is the best time to post on Facebook?  We would always advise to check you Facebook Insights to see when your fans are online, but Buzzsumo studied 1 Billion Facebook posts (that’s right, 1,000,000,000) and found:

Best time to post is between 10pm and midnight in your audience’s local time – people browse Facebook in bed

Posts with questions and images get the most engagement

Best day to post is Sunday – I was as surprised as you probably are reading this

Posts to articles with 1,000 – 3,000 words get more interaction

Short post descriptions get better interaction

Directly embedded videos get 6 times more interaction than YouTube videos – don’t just paste in YouTube link, take time and upload your raw video file

Images posted through Instagram get a 23% boost in engagement

Posts with hashtags get less interaction than those without – avoid hashtags on Facebook, they never really took off!

Leverage trending content:

A great way to get your content seen by the masses is to look for ways to jump onboard trending content (think the US election at present).  Stephen has released a new tool for this called Anders Pink which allows you to get the content you need when you need it.  Use it to keep yourself and your team up to speed with the latest goings on in your industry.  You can find out more at AndersPink.com.

You can view Stephen’s slides from the talk below:

B2B Content Marketing Insights – What Does The Data Tell Us? from The Tomorrow Lab

Nial Toner – 10 Great Content Marketing Examples & What You Can Learn From Them

I had the unenviable task of following Stephen as I looked to take a step back and discuss how to begin creating a content marketing strategy before looking at some content marketing examples from a range of industries that we can all take a little something from.  Below are just some of the key points I discussed with the room on the day.

What is content marketing?

All too often we can get distracted from core objectives when it comes to creating content marketing campaigns.  The content itself can often take over from the end goal, and this shouldn’t be the case.  Content marketing is all about providing valuable, relevant and consistent content to a clearly defined audience with a view to driving a profitable customer action.  The important thing to remember with content marketing is that you need to understand who your target audience is to allow you to be better positioned to begin creating content for them.  Once you know this, content marketing is just an extension of your digital marketing activity, and ultimately must lead to sales or enquiries.

6 Steps to creating a content marketing strategy

Here at The Tomorrow Lab we have a 7 C’s process to creating a digital marketing strategy, and this forms the pillars for any content marketing strategy.  We look at six stages when it comes to creating a content marketing strategy and these are outlined below:

Before you even begin creating content you need to have clearly defined objectives and begin to research your customers and the market.  What content can you provide to answer their questions and what can you do that your competitors aren’t doing.  From here you begin to generate content ideas, and we recommend a 635 method of creating 100 ideas in 30 minutes (you can read more about that here), before actually beginning to develop your content calendar and creating the content.  From here you need to treat your content like a product and promote it, and finally, measure and review the performance of the content against your objectives.  What worked well, what didn’t work so well, and what can you use going forward.

No idea is a bad idea:

When it comes to creating content, the ideation stage is perhaps the most important of all the steps.  It is at this point where you sit down and begin to plan your content ideas and think about what it is your customers want.  In my experience, no idea is a bad idea, so get all of your ideas on to a sheet of paper or on to a white board, and begin to evaluate their potential.  I’ve seen some really bad initial ideas transform into great pieces of content across both the web and social.

Tools to help your content marketing efforts:

For me, Buzzsumo is a must have for anyone in the content marketing field.  It allows you to look at the content that is popular in your industry and begin to see what customers share and engage with online.  This can really help you shape your content ideas.  There are a mountain of great content marketing tools on the market, both free and paid for, and along with Buzzsumo, I’d suggest using websites like Quora and Answer The Public to generate initial content ideas.

Concentrate on the right customer groups:

There are essentially four types of customer online – those carrying out initial research, those returning to find out more information, those who can influence an audience, and the end buyer.  Far too often companies invest the majority of their resources on the end buyer, without considering how they can help solve customer problems along the way.  This is where content marketing can help.  Don’t solely focus on the end buyer and the action phase.  Be sure to take time and plan out how you will engage with customers carrying out their initial bits of research, whether it’s looking for a loan, planning a holiday or looking for help with their business.  If you can create content to help the different customers at different stages of their journey, you’re off to a great start.

You can view my slides from the event below, complete with 10 industry examples that can help us all when it comes to generating content marketing ideas and beginning to plan our strategy.

10 Great Content Marketing Examples and What You Can Learn From Them from Nial Toner

  Paddy Moogan – My Biggest Content Marketing Mistakes

For those of you who don’t know who Paddy Moogan is, he’s up there with the very best in the industry when it comes to content marketing and linkbuilding.  When it comes to linkbuilding, there’s very little that Paddy doesn’t know.  He wrote the book on linkbuilding, quite literally!  You can access it here.  Paddy’s talk looked at some content marketing mistakes and what he has learned from them.  We work in an industry where sometimes campaign ideas work well and other times they go up in smoke.  It’s always important to learn from those that don’t work, and Paddy shared some great insights with the room.

While I can’t share Paddy slides or talk about the client stories he shared on the day (another reason for getting yourself along to our events), here’s some of the key takeaways from Paddy’s talk.

Reading material to get you started:

Paddy shared some of his favourite books to help spark creativity, and I have to say I’ve already added them to my reading list.  The five books Paddy recommended are:

Creativity, Inc. by Ed Catmull

Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath

A Technique For Producing Ideas by James Webb Young

Creative Mischief by Dave Trott

Truth, Lies & Advertising by Jon Steel

Good infographics get links:

A few years back infographics were all the rage and when it came to creating content, it was a go to for most companies.  There was almost a thought that because a piece of data has been put into an infographic it all of a sudden became shareable and linkable.  That isn’t the case, and as Paddy highlighted, good infographics get you links and shares, bad infographics get you nothing!  So when you sit down to plan your next infographic, be sure to have something good to share in it, something unique.

Good feedback is important:

When it comes to creating content and developing ideas, it’s important to encourage feedback from your team.  You must trust each other when it comes to discussing ideas, and most importantly, be honest.  Good internal feedback is crucial in getting ideas up and running.  Three things to consider when deciding whether or not to go with an idea or a piece of content – is it relevant to your audience, does it resonate and is it different?

Key dates and events can work well:

While it’s important not to put all your content eggs in one basket when it comes to key dates and events, if the content is a good fit, you can exploit key dates and events to build links, generate shares and increase awareness of your company online.

Stacey MacNaught – 21 Tools and Tactics to Make a Content Marketer’s Life Easier

Our final speaker was the wonderful Stacey MacNaught from Tecmark, and she discussed some tools and tactics to get more from your content marketing efforts.  Stacey is one of the best speakers I’ve ever seen, and her talks are always full of great information and wonderful insight.  It was a great way to finish the event, and you could tell that those in attendance had left with a wealth of new information and tactics to help improve their content marketing activity.  Below are some of the key takeaways from Stacey’s talk.

SpeakUp:

This is a tool that Stacey highlighted that I’ll be honest, I wasn’t aware off, and it’s something I’m looking to implement with the team here at The Tomorrow Lab.  SpeakUp is a tool that allows you to share ideas with your team members online and get feedback and vote on best / worst ideas.  This saves time in the ideation stage as you can do this remotely without needing everyone in the room at the same time.  Another great tool for generating ideas with your team and clients is Tecmark’s own 635 Brainwriting tool, which can be accessed at 635.tecmark.co.uk.

Data is your friend:

When it comes to creating content is going to earn links (and we should all want our content to be shared and linked to online), data is your friend.  From surveys to existing data, Stacey shared a number of great resources to get you started, no matter what your budget is.  Here are just some of the data sourcing websites that Stacey recommended:

OnePoll – allows you to carry out market research and online PR surveys to gain credible data results for your content.  Can be a larger capital investment.  OnePoll also has access to specialist panels including mums, kids, over 50s, students and professionals.

Toluna Quick Surveys – a website that allows you to create a quick survey targeting a range of demographics including location, gender, age and income.  Not as expensive as OnePoll and you can get results pretty quick.

Google Consumer Surveys – a relatively small investment but the data can be less credible than other sources.  For local companies, you can’t drill down to Northern Ireland only when picking your target audience, and there is no data for Ireland yet, meaning you might have to focus solely on UK data for your research (which might not always be ideal)

Using existing data:

Getting data yourself is never easy, and if you have a limited budget, it can sometimes be a risk.  There are ways of accessing existing data online for free and here are some sites that can point you in the right direction when it comes to getting data to support content marketing efforts.  Here’s a few to consider:

Statista

Gov.uk – Government statistics

Freedom of Information data – get access to existing public information.  You can find out more about accessing freedom of information data here – https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/guide-to-freedom-of-information/what-is-the-foi-act/.

AskTheEU.org

Promoting your content:

We’re very much in agreement with Stacey in that you should treat your content like a product and promote it.  This doesn’t always mean spending cash to promote across paid and social channels (although this will help).  Consider other avenues to get your content in front of your audience, and generate great links in the process.  Two great tips shared by Stacey were using local and regional press, and asking for forward features lists from trade press magazines.

When it comes to local and regional press, if the story is unique and relevant to the area, it will often get coverage (assuming it’s a good story of course).  Some of these journalists will also write for other national titles so this can be a good way of making your content go even further.  Asking for forward features from online publications can often help you shape your content ideas and if you have something coming up that can tie in with a feature, it can be a quick win for promoting your content online.

Some good tools for accessing journalists and media are:

Freelance Journo Directory – www.freelancedirectory.org

Cision Point Media Database – cisionpoint.com

Hey Press – www.hey.press

Journalisted – journalisted.com

Content marketing is a team game:

Stacey’s last piece of advice is probably the most important to take onboard.  Content marketing is a team game.  There is now greater tool than a determined team, so be sure to involve your team as best you can to get the most from your content marketing efforts.

You can see Stacey’s slides below.

21 Content Marketing Tools and Tactics by @staceycav at #TTLPresents – September 2016 from Stacey (Cavanagh) MacNaught

Upcoming Events with The Tomorrow Lab:

To keep up to date with our latest events, visit our Events Page or sign up for our newsletter below to be among the first to hear about our upcoming events.  We’re planning another busy calendar of events in 2017, and we’ll be sharing more information on this in the coming weeks.

We’re also delighted to be holding a workshop at the Digital DNA Travel & Tourism event in Titanic Belfast on 24th November.  If you’re attending the event, be sure to say hello to the team.

Here’s a short video of our latest event, to give you a taste of what to look forward to at future ‘The Tomorrow Lab Presents’ events.  With great speakers, a quirky venue and pizza, what’s not to like :-)

 Source

http://thetomorrowlab.com/2016/10/winning-with-content-marketing-key-takeaways-from-our-latest-digital-marketing-event/

[marvelfansince08love]

“My loyalties lie with you, not the title you’ve been given” - Part 5

Word Count: 3k 

Pairing Cordelia Goode x Protector!Reader 

Warning: Some mentions of blood, fighting scene I guess? 

A/N: So sorry for the late update on this series, these two chapter are pretty heavy and I wanted them to be perfect! I hope you enjoy! x Thank you so much @canarypoint for editing and reading over and fangirling with me x Also a huge thank you to my girl for encouraging me to continue and for helping edit both parts, I love you <3

Side note: The Entity is slightly based off Michael Langdon but it isn’t him. 

Tags: @waitingfortheendtocome @natasha-danvers @veteranwerewolf95 @chewbacca0805 @creepingwolfberry @bluevelvetbitxh @saucy-sapphic @coconutlipss @fand0m-obsess3d-g33k @nyx-aira @versonstar @witchxaf @r0an0ke @pearplate @kikaykimkim @the-obscurity @mssallymckenna @minavenable @lezzzbehonesthere @goodeday2u @screechingshepherddeputygoth @softsleepypeach  @grilledcheeseandguavajelly​@shes-a-cancer-b @venablemayfairgoode

Part 5 

“What have you done, you stupid girl.” Fiona’s voice growls, startling you from your thoughts as you glare over at the woman.

“Protecting Cordelia, something you aren’t familiar with,” You snap back, anger spiralling throughout your body as you shake slightly. Fiona scoffs shaking her head as she slowly approaches you, standing a hair breath away her dead eyes stare into your own. 

“I always knew your love for her would get you killed one day,” Her voice laced with a certain emotion you would never associate with her with; fear. A humourless grin appears onto your cold lips as you take in her aged face. 

“Quite poetic is it not?” You murmur, your eyes showing no emotion not willingly to give this woman any satisfaction of seeing your torn vulnerability. 

Before she could answer a white light surrounds you all, making you squint and hiss at the brightness of the glow. Within a blink of an eye, you regain your senses gasping for mortal air as you reawaken above Fiona’s grave. Warm hands caress your cheeks as they continue their inspection for any harm. 

“Shhh you’re okay darling, it’s me. It’s me.” She repeats over and over as your wide eyes take in your surroundings the feeling of panic and anxiety erupts through your chest. Your eyes finally land on brown eyes full of reassurance and worry, seeing the familiar gaze makes you relax almost instantly as you try to even out your erratic breaths. 

“Lia,” You croak, clearing your dry throat. She smiles watery at you and nods mouthing a ‘yes’ before placing the crown of her head against your temple. 

“It felt like you were gone forever and then your body started to twitch uncontrollably I thought-” 

“Cordelia.” Fiona speaks from the side of you both, keeping her distance from her daughter. Cordelia tenses beside you before turning to face the woman she calls mother, she slowly stands from her crouched position keeping a steady arm around your waist as you gingerly stand with her. The two Goode’s stare at each for a moment taking in each other’s appearance, 

“Power looks good on you, dear.” She croaks, as her eyes scan her daughter’s stance. No longer cowering from the past supreme. 

“And death hasn’t done you any good, mother.” Cordelia retaliates, scolding herself silently for allowing herself to bite back. 

“Marie, would you like some help getting up? Shit, you white bitches.” Marie grumbles, as she shrugs off the dirt that lays against her clothes. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to shower until the smell of death leaves my body,” She informs, huffing as she takes her leave, Cordelia nods in acknowledgement at the Voodoo Queen mouthing her thanks as Marie nods back in reply continuing on her way. You stare longingly wanting to also depart from this awkward reunion as the two continue to stare one another down. Fiona breaks off the staring contest first as she flicks her wrist revealing a packet of cigarettes and a lighter, sparking one up. Inhaling deeply she allows the smoke to blow out into the cold dark night and sighs. 

“So, where do you want to start?” She asks, her careless persona strong as she continues to take in the nicotine. Cordelia smiles cruelly. 

“I’d rather we didn’t revisit the past, you are here for one reason only and that’s to help us defeat this darkness.” 

“The Entity,” You interrupt, correcting her softly, your eyes clashing with Fiona’s briefly. Cordelia turns to face you in confusion.

“While we were down there we got a lovely visit from Papa… He gave us little to nothing on the damn thing but told us his name.” You inform her, watching as she takes in the information. 

“He?” 

“Yes, the thing is a man. Big shocker there.” Fiona drawls out, through occasional puffs of smoke. Cordelia opts to ignore her mother, focusing her attention on you. 

“Did he give you anything else?” She asks, her voice laced with slightly desperation. You shake your head much to her disappointment.

“I’m sorry, Lia.” You apologise, wishing you could have given her more  She smiles reassuringly and cradles your cheek briefly shaking her head slightly. 

“No don’t be sorry, you risked a lot going down there. I- Thank you,” She says, her eyes lingering onto your own for a second longer. You almost feel like you could drown into her gaze forever but before you could reply she steps away clasping her hands together as if resisting herself from touching you again. 

“If you two love birds are done, I would like to run a hot bath with some nice salts, maybe a lovely glass of scotch,” Fiona rudely says, already making her way out of the graveyard and towards the car. You both blush as you avoid each others eyes, making your way back to the vehicle Fiona’s distance voice whining from a distance, “Have you got a spare pair of sunglasses, I wouldn’t want my ‘dead eyes’ scaring the children,” you scoff as you open up the front passenger door purposely moving into the seat, Fiona huffs as she settles into the backside. You open up the glove department and pass the older blonde a pair of black sunglasses. 

“Bold of you to assume you didn’t already scare children before you died,” You bite, a teasing grin appearing on your face as you feel Cordelia’s scolding but amused eyes on you. Shrugging, you settle into your seat and stare out into the night, Papa’s deal heavy on your mind as guilt settles within your chest. Looking into the wing mirror you can feel Fiona’s gaze through her heavily tinted glasses, gulping you turn away from her judging gaze focusing on the road ahead. 

‘What have I done?’

***

Pulling up at the Academy, you can see the older girls lingering by the window curious to see the woman that’s been brought back from the dead. Myrtle stands regal as ever by the front door, her signature cigarette holder in hand as she takes a drag, her icy gaze burning heavily into Fiona’s form as she makes her way up the steps of the Academy. 

“You look awfully ghastly my dear,” She comments, her fiery hair matching her sass. Fiona scoffs holding her arms out to the woman. 

“At least I have death as an excuse, you old hag.” She fires back, grinning icily at the redhead. You and Cordelia share a knowing glance used to the pair’s bickering back and forth, as you hover close behind the pair. Myrtle chuckles dryly as she steps aside to let the older woman through before placing herself in front of you and Cordelia stopping you from following.

“Are you both okay, my dears?” She asks, her voice no longer full of ice and venom as her motherly gaze scans you both. You both nod smiling softly at the woman who holds you both in such high regard and vise versa. Cordelia presses a kiss to her cheek before moving past her and into the building not wanting to leave Madison and her mother in a room alone together for too long. You hover for a moment debating your next words as you take in Myrtle’s form. The witch frowns at your fidgeting state, silently questioning your hesitation. 

“I did something stupid,” You admit quietly, briefly glancing through the open front door making sure no one else could hear your confession. The redhead steps away from the door and loops her arm around your elbow guiding you away from the entrance so you could circle the grounds. 

“My dear girl, you have a look of someone with a heavy heart. Please speak to me,” She comforts softly, her tender voice makes your eyes tear up as you blurt out your secret. 

“I made a deal with Papa Legba. If we don’t deliver him the Entity’s soul then he shall take mine,” You confess, tearfully. The woman remains calm and quiet as she allows you to continue. 

“I’m not even scared of that, I’ve never been scared of death but- He mentioned my powers and the darkness as if sensing my potential ability to destroy everything in my path. I don’t even know what I’m capable of anymore, Myrtle.” You admit, your real fear spoken out loud makes you sob as the older woman pulls you into a bone crushing hug. She whispers harshly with a touch of tenderness into your ear. 

“You listen to me, my sweet girl.” She pulls back and holds onto your face with both her hands, forcing you to keep your attention on her distraught face. “You are not evil, you may have powers that you have yet to unlock but you could never be evil. That power that swirls inside you is the most powerful magic I have ever come across that’s why you are the protector. You’re of love and light my dear, that darkness that wants to pull its way through is unmatched to that of the light,” Your eyes blur as you take in her reassuring words, collapsing slightly into her arms. 

“You should tell Cordelia about the deal,” She advises, making you pull back from your embrace slightly offended by her comment. 

“It would kill her Myrtle, I promised her that I’d be beside her always. I can’t-” 

“Would you prefer that you didn’t and then die without giving her a chance to fight for your life,” Her words penetrate through your heart like a stab wound. You gulp feeling torn by her words and guidance. 

“I’m the one who’s supposed to fight for her life,” You argue weakly. Myrtle chuckles amused, before holding your gaze once again. 

“Y/N haven’t you realised it yet, darling? You both continue to fight for each other, you think after all these years Cordelia didn’t once ask me about you. Or how during the attacks with the witch hunters a few years back, you didn’t step in from the shadows and take out the last remaining vermin as they tried to attack her.” She pauses for a moment allowing you to take in her painfully truthful words. “You both have had each other’s backs since you stepped foot into this academy all those years ago. This will be like any other time, so tell her and fight like hell against the bastard, together like always,” She finishes her speech, her breathing becoming erratic as her words spill from her mouth. The sound of a twig snapping startles you both from your private moment, slow clapping starts from within the shadows around the trees. Pulling Myrtle back slightly you inch away from the dark forest that surrounds the Academy. 

“My, so much wisdom from such an experienced witch, bravo.” The deep voice teases, as the figure becomes more clearer as it steps out from between the trees. Stood dressed in a black suit and a devilish grin is, the entity. You tense instantly as you keep your gaze on his confident form. 

“Get to the house,” You murmur to Myrtle,  who goes to protest. “Now.” You force out, watching as his grin becomes more apparent. 

“Yes, listen to your dear protector.” He taunts, watching as the redhead flees to the academy to alert the others. His black eyes turn to you a glint of mischief sparkling within the darkness. 

“It’s more fun when they are terrified, makes for a better meal.” he teases, folding his hands in front of him. You glare at his smug expression. 

“Sorry I didn’t realise we were dressing up for the event,” you comment, wanting to keep him distracted for as long as possible in hopes that Myrtle and the other older girls manage to perform the safekeeping spell allowing the younger witches and warlocks to be sent as far away as possible from here. He chuckles amused at your attempt of distraction.

“Well it is your funeral, my dear. I merely dressed for the occasion.” He follows up, his hands becoming more invisible as the black mist surrounds his fingers. You can feel your powers boiling at the surface as your body becomes aware of its current threat, tiny sparks tingle from your fingers as you keep a close eye on him. Before he can make a move you throw your hands out, throwing him further into the woods wanting to keep him as far away from the academy as possible. His confident exterior falls after you make your first move, striding deeper into the woods you follow the line of destruction already made by his flying body. The faint sound of your name being called from the house, gives you pause allowing him a chance to take advantage at your distracted state. Black mist encircles around your feet as your body begins to tense, fear spikes through you as you start to lose awareness of your own body, unable to move anything as it continues to circle around your waist. 

“Y/N!” Cordelia screams as she races forward, Misty and Queenie moving to the side of the man effectively startling him from his task, both chanting in Latin as he loses his focus on you. Tears build in your eyes as you feel your senses overwhelm you again as you regain them back, Cordelia stands at your side in a flash, keeping her eyes on the entity as he continues to fight off the two older witches. Marie and Fiona join the pair as they begin to lose the upper hand in their ongoing fight. 

“Cordelia- the girls,” You choke out, holding onto her arms for dear life. Her hand strokes through your hair briefly, 

“They're okay, the other girls got them out. Myrtle is with them.” She informs quickly, ready to move away from you to help with the fight, noticing Queenie’s unconscious state as he manages a good strike to the witch. Before she can move you grip her arm, needing to tell her before it's too late.

“Cordelia I-” 

“This can wait Y/n, we've gotta attack while we can,” 

John Moore appears next to you with your brothers in tow, ready to take him on as you reluctantly let go of her arm, Marie flies backwards as he strikes her next effortlessly knocking back every effort from each of them who dare to reach him. Elijah makes his way around the fight, attacking him from behind as he launches forward, taking him to the ground before disappearing from beneath him. A deep chuckle echoes throughout the tall trees as you all look for the location of his voice, Misty kneels closely next to Queenie as she slowly regains consciousness. 

“You won’t win, your powers are nothing compared to mine,” His voice sinister, as if whispering in your ear. Cordelia looks over at her dishevelled witches gulping slightly. 

“Michael, Elijah get Queenie out of here now,” She demands, her voice trembling. They try to protest but your eyes silence them from speaking any further. 

“Ah yes, run away. I like the chase,” He taunts further, still invisible to the eyes as we keep an eye on the clearings surrounding us. The boys move quickly towards an exhausted Queenie, throwing her arms around their shoulders as Misty trails behind them, ready to attack if anything were to happen to them as they retreat. You keep your back close to Delia’s as the other three keep close, creating a make shifting circle. 

“Fucking Coward!” You shout into the air, frustrated by his cat and mouse game. He appears then leaning lazily against the tree trunk, that devilish grin on his face once again. 

“Oh my dear, we both know that’s not true. Little Ms. Protector, poor thing having so many expectations to live up to,” He pouts, taunting you some more as you clench your jaw. You try to shake off his words, knowing he’s looking for a window to get into your head. 

“I’ve been watching you for a while, Miss Wardwell. That darkness that swirls deep inside is boiling over and soon it will all topple over,” He continues, you feel Cordelia tense next to you as your normally bright coloured eyes darken a deep black. 

“Enough of this!” Fiona exclaims, launching forward to attack using her magic, startling him slightly as her attack strikes his cheek from afar causing the smallest trickle of blood to drop from his cheekbone. He touches the trail of blood examining his red stained finger before turning to the woman, his eyes blown black. Tree branches move on their own towards Fiona, Marie and John wrapping themselves around their wrists and waists pulling them in close to their tree trunk keeping them in place, a trail of black mist surrounding them to stop any magical advantages. 

“I wanted to play nice but now you can watch your only daughter die,” He says, smiling mercilessly at the woman before turning his attention onto you both. You move quickly in front of her, as you try with all your might to keep the mist at bay as it seeps through your protective barrier. Your head begins to pound as you feel your powers weakening as Cordelia helps with the barrier, as the mist encircles you once again you turn towards your Cordelia helplessly. She places her hands delicately against your cheeks, her fingers trembling against your now wet skin. 

“I can’t hold this up for long,” You whimper, feeling yourself becoming less aware of your senses, the tiniest touch of Cordelia’s lips against cheek is the only reassuring embrace as you close your eyes wanting to hold onto the feeling for as long as you could. You lean your head against Cordelia's as watery eyes match her tearful ones, she smiles brightly at you, that same smile you saw the very first day you met her. Before you could tell her the one thing you’ve wanted to say since that day you walked out on her wedding day, you succumb to the darkness.

I love you.