#again i would like to stress this is just a sample. there are so many other fics i could've recced (and still might!)

[alaynestone]

FIC RECS for @spnficrecfest - august 10-12 aus and crossovers

i'm attempting to limit myself to just one small sample of the fics that could be recced in every category so that my list is more easily digestible. it's a given that many good fics will be left out but if we keep this up they will have their turn later.

always-a-girl dean winchester

carmen and the devil by glorious_spoon (gen) John raises his daughters in the life.

you feel your heart taking root in your body by paxlux (sam/dean) Then, he can see again, she’s stepped away, taking her little hands with her.

everlovin' baby series by paxlux (sam/dean) This is like premeditated murder. This is like a crime of passion. This is like a suicide pact.

denial series by badbastion (sam/dean) This is another stupid game to her, Dee teasing her little brother. It’s a prank, it’s a game of chicken, just… upped uncomfortably to include sex.

you're the only one that's mine by riyku (sam/dean) Dean gets injured on a hunt and Sam has to patch her up. Things get a little out of hand.

bloodletting by adastreia (sam/dean) Sam's jonesing for blood. Deanna's on her period.

madonna by hellhoundsprey (sam/dean) Things used to be easier. This is on Sam.

my heart's staying put by grim_lupine (sam/dean) It's like Deanna’s been asleep for four years, traversing the highways of her life on autopilot, every joy and every pain muted and numbed. In the months since she got Sam back she's been coming to life slowly, with the pins-and-needles tingling of a deadened limb awakening.

take off my flesh and sit in my bones by oxoniensis (sam/dean) Tiny breasts, like sandcastles washed over by the tide, tan soft and warm like sand; body still bones and promise.

long as i remember (the rain been coming down) by phoenixflight (sam/dean) Deanna’s cycle had always been obvious to Sam.

buccaneer by deadlybride (dean/crowley, dean/omc, sam/dean) With a new Knight of Hell at his side, Crowley should be attending to business. Instead, he's focused on one thing.

the shout of heavy guilt by astoryandasong (dean/castiel) Sometimes you have to live the story.

as we go along and making it up by aesc (dean/castiel) The world didn't end, and sometimes that freaks her out.

like it's the end of the world by xxamlaxx (sam/dean, john/dean, dean/others) Fifty sentences that span pre-series up to the end of season 3.

everybody else's girl by mona1347 (sam/dean) Back when they were kids, Dee would hold and rock him, pseudo-motherhood awkward and too big on the little girl she was.

daddy's little girl series by amiwritesthings (john/dean, sam/dean, sam/dean/john) John and Deanna, through the years.

a simple motion by chinablue (john/dean, dean/others) But watching her - watching her is different. Watching isn't touching, and there's no law against that.

i'll be your mirror by chinablue (john/dean) The girl in his bed isn’t quite his wife, but in the glowy relative darkness she has room to morph.

the found song by necrotype (dean/rhonda, dean/others) It takes a long time to feel content (a disjointed story in five parts).

[klausinamarink]

Oop let's try this again; for the birthday fics: “Because you’re a jinx!” angsty Steddie established relationship, chasing fame Eddie and some guy Steve who gets discovered while Eddie's band keeps being passed over? Platonic hellcheer and platonic Stobin.

I couldn’t find a way to put in the platonic ships but it’s still Steddie. Enjoy the angsty flavour electric boogaloo.

It was supposed to be Eddie’s lucky day.

This was supposed to be his time. The moment when the rich suits would look at Eddie and immediately offer him the contract that finally pushed his music to fame.

But it was just another fucking mediocre performance. Only a few people out of the dozens in the crowd cheered, but that was worse than getting no response at all. Nobody even went up to them for an autograph, their numbers, Instagram handles, music samples, anything that would’ve made the night worth it.

Eddie stayed silent and seething for the whole drive home. The rest of the band left on their own respective vehicles, though Jeff had lingered longer to say something that Eddie mentally filtered out. Probably some shitty encouragement or a call to quit. 

His hands tightened around the wheel. Eddie felt the pulsing headache crawl to the back of his eyes. Goddamnit, he needed to sleep.

Maybe in Steve’s arms, but for once, Eddie just wanted to be alone for tonight. 

After he parked the car and trudged the stairs back to his apartment, Eddie bit his lip until he tasted the sting of copper. 

He was so tired. Not just physically, but in very foul shape that took its claws into him. It was the apathetic crowds and uninterested advisors. How the rest of the band delayed practice more and more. The bland methodical act of cutting up another piece of his shrinking soul as a muse for his lyrics. 

But still. He was close to that single star of recognition. Eddie had to taste it.

Unlocking the door, Eddie kept himself from collapsing until he dropped his guitar case and landed face-first on the couch. 

In the bedroom, he could catch some muffled conversation, the floor creaking as Steve paced back and forth inside. 

Eddie frowned and checked his phone for any missed messages. Steve hadn’t texted him since five,  soon after Eddie had left for the worst night of his life. It was almost eleven now. So why was his boyfriend still up and talking to someone?

Before Eddie could try and get up, the door opened and Steve came out, his phone in hand. Steve glanced up and stopped in his tracks when he saw Eddie. He gave a bright smile.

“Hey, babe! You okay?” 

Eddie groaned. If he had the energy, he could scream into the pillows.

The floor creaked as Steve approached and gently laid a hand on his back. “Was the band okay?”

Eddie groaned again, unable to hold himself back from pressing against Steve’s hand. He could really use a fucking massage. Or some quick, stress-relief sex. “It’s fucking awful. It’s always fucking awful.”

Steve made a sympathetic noise, “I’m sorry to hear that, Eds.”

Eddie lifted his head up and peered at Steve. Despite his words, there was an odd light in Steve’s eyes and his lips were fighting desperately not to smile.

“What is it?” He asked.

Steve had the nerve to look spooked, “Uh, well, I don’t want to ruin your mood-”

“What is it?”

Steve stared at him for a moment before he sighed like it was the start of a serious discussion.

“You know that audition I did back in Chicago two weeks ago?” Steve bit his lip. It only revealed the cracks of excitement on his face and Eddie already knew what he was about to say. “Well, my agent called and said that I’m officially casted. I’m gonna be in a HBO show!”

Record scratch.

Eddie only stared at Steve as the news hit him with the speed of a truck. When he saw Steve’s smile in full glory, he only saw blank faces who spat at him with rejection and disappointment and ‘try better’s. 

How the fuck does Steve get so many gigs when Eddie could barely find an open venue in advance? And now he’s going to work for fucking HBO, Jesus Christ-

Steve was frowning at him, “You- are you not happy?”

“Of course, I am!” Eddie said quickly. It felt hard to speak when there was something now stuck and burning in his throat. He got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. He needed a drink. Maybe not alcohol, though tempting. But some actual water but he was too exhausted and sober for this shit. 

“I’m always here to support my wonderful and talented boyfriend who never misses an audition. Who always gets a spot in whatever he plays in, even if it’s a fucking diaper commercial or a glorified extra who gets five more cents than his less impressive boyfriend.” 

As he spoke, his words became more tinted with venom. Eddie took an empty glass and filled it under the tap. He almost choked from gulping it down in one go. It cooled his throat, but the burning simply expanded through his veins.

“Okay, you’re mad.” Steve said slowly, now behind him.

Eddie laughed bitterly, “Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. They taught you that in acting class or was it a trick from your last ex?”

“Jesus, okay, Eddie.” Steve put his hands on Eddie’s shoulders but Eddie shook him off with more force than necessary. “You’re obviously in a bad mood and my news isn’t making it better, but you did ask and-”

Eddie whirled around. He was seeing red at the corners of his vision. “And now it’s my fault?!”

Steve backed away, his hands up in a plea of surrender. His face pinched with concern and hurt. “Eddie, let’s, let’s just go to bed. Take a shower-”

“Stop treating me like I’m a child!” 

“Fuck, even a child would tell me what’s making them this upset!”

“You wanna know why I’m so upset? Huh?” Eddie smacked a hand against Steve’s chest, pushing his boyfriend away. “Take a guess with your ‘subtlety’ talents and maybe you can fucking figure it out.”

“No, I- Eds, baby-” Steve stopped to take a breath. He looked back at Eddie with more firmness, but he saw the way Steve’s ego was crumbling in his eyes. “Can you please just tell me why are you acting like this? Was it because I did something or-?”

Eddie’s anger flared. It touched the back of his mouth so he spat it all out like a dragon. “Oh, everything you do with your squeaky clean and easy career is the reason why I’m pissed at you. You get all of these stupid roles to play some stupid character Twitter would make discourse for while I have spent the last three years trying to find someone who’s willing to listen to my band play in a goddamn studio! But I keep missing these opportunities for some reason that I’m starting to think that we’re cursed or shit.”

“Eds, it can’t-”

“And don’t you say you know how it feels like because you never knew how to fucking fail, Stevie! Everything you do is just rich executives giving you silver platters. I bet they all want that Harrington blowjob.”

Steve gasped softly and shook his head. He now had his arms around himself like it would protect him. “That’s not true- Why are you even saying these things to me?!”

“Because you’re a jinx! Because you’re Steve Harrington and I hate your dumb luck!”

Eddie’s words echoed across the apartment as he breathed heavily. He wouldn’t be surprised if it went out the windows and into the streets. 

Steve held an unbelievably idiotic expression. Mouth half-open, a slack jaw, glossy eyes that just stared at Eddie without any more light shining in them.

Finally, he spoke so quietly that Eddie had to strain to hear, “Okay… I’m going to Robin’s.”

With that, Steve hurried out, having some decency to not slam the door.

And then it was just Eddie, alone in the kitchen with the nasty thoughts and words that would soon bite back at him.

[besobendito]

"Shepard?"

"Bzzt- Yes, Commander Moss?"

"Start a new log recording will you? I need to settle my thoughts."

Log Number #14 Cycle: 10 Planet: PNF-404

"Despite exhaustion creeping into my very bones, I find myself unable to rest for the night. I need to note what has been happening- to convince myself that I haven't completely lost it... There is something.... strange about this planet, and for each day that passes the feeling grows even stranger. Small mistakes like misplaced items, something that Oatchi and I are very careful not to do- We have been rescuing for how many years and all of a sudden we can't seem to find where the ropes has been placed? Whatever we lose ends up right back in its proper place hours after we've lost it. Shepard clears it with me each time this happens... Those items have never moved from their spot on the cameras. Our frantic search shows up, all the crew members searching high and low- and we just... don't see them...? ......Ah, I don't know exactly how to explain this one. Oatchi joked that I might be haunted by the glowmin("Some invisible variety we haven't discovered yet!" he said) but I can see it in his face. It's happened to him too. We are all walking around... Something. Stepping to the side in an empty hallway, looking down and over my shoulder as to not bump into...Nothing? I keep feeling like there's something missing on the ship, something I can't quite remember. I've tripled checked my things and asked Shepard to list everything out in our inventory just in case. I just can't shake this feeling that...

-that I feel like I'm mourning... and for the love of everything, I don't know what. It's maddening.

I was ready to push it all to the side and continue the mission. The list of castaways only seems to be getting longer and we can't have campfire ghost stories to distract us! That is until I found a log not written by myself in my tablet...... Hmph. See, this is what's stressing me out so. No one but me has access to this tablet, it should be impossible!

The log is... Well it's creepy! From what I can tell, it's taken phrases from one of our Procedure Manuals("Bzzt- It would be the Distress and Urgency Procedures") and the logs from an unknown writer and spliced them together. I've been trying to make sense of it but- yeah I need the others to see this first. My theories wont help now. I'll have Shepard add it to this log for now, might as well...(sigh) Just what is going on...

Mm, right. I already mentioned this in the End of Day report- but I'm not done rolling this over in my head.

The castaway we picked up today- the one who limped out of that dark tunnel towards us. His clothing- you don't see pilot gear that old anymore, and the- the liquid? that fell off of him... I sampled what I could so I wont know for sure untill tomorrow, It looked like gold. I hope he wont mind sharing where he found a pool of gold to roll around in. It would be nice to be able to cover the cost of all the repairs... (Yawn) Ah- right there we go, ok I'm done for now. Have to get ready for- 'Everything' tomorrow, hope I don't sound too crazy. This is Commander Moss, Sleeping snug like a bug on a rug... (Yawns again) - - - Log Number: +#3@##0?/ Cycleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Planet: PNF-404

(a) If distress [ ] If urgency [ ] Someone or something [ ] a loud BANG echoed throughout the cave. [ ] (b) Name of station addressed [ ] natural enemy [ ] (c) I got careless... [ ] (d) Nature of distress or urgency. and all the Pikmin perished as a result. [ ] (g) Present position [ ] Horrified, I made my [ ] ; or if lost, last known position, time, and heading since that position. Fuel remaining/Number of people/other useful information [ ] accidentally thrown to their demise [ ] crushed on hard surfaces of by some creatures' teeth [ ] I [ ] Me [ ] My [ ] Do not change frequency or change to another [ ] Fly a course toward the destination which the hijacker has announced. [ ] keeps leading me completely off track [ ] adorable leaf at the top of her [ ] (4) If unable to provide this information, [ ] trusty partner.trusty partner.trusty partner. PAN-PAN, PAN-PAN, PAN-PAN. [ ] I am so very tired... [ ]

[lesbianchemicalplant]

recent posts about sampling have me thinking about Justice's † [Cross] again....

There are three credited samples present on the album: "You Make Me Wanna Wiggle" by The Brothers Johnson was sampled for "Newjack", "Tenebre (main theme)" by Simonetti-Morante-Pignatelli was sampled for "Phantom" and "Phantom Pt. II", and "Night on Disco Mountain" by David Shire was sampled for "Stress". However, it also incorporates unrecognisable "microsamples" from hundreds of albums.

2007 interview (interesting in other regards as well):

Do you prefer sampling or creating your own sounds when making music? Gaspard Augé: I have a personal-pride problem with sampling. But we were arguing about it, and in the end I agreed with Xavier that the result is the only thing that matters. Xavier de Rosnay: I think this is a standard process in making electronic music — the important thing is to not be frustrated at the end. There are only three recognizable samples on the whole album, and we did not try to hide them. All the rest are microsamples that even the authors could not recognize. And there are some you can have some suspicions, but you can't be sure it's coming from what you think it is.

2008 interview:

Justice -- best known on these shores for their 2007 VMA-nominated hit, "D.A.N.C.E." -- inhabit more of a gray area. Conflicting stories have arisen over the extent of their sampling: Fans speculate that from zero to 100 percent of the group's music is sampled. "I know why stories are conflicting," de Rosnay said. "Because we do sample really small bits of things that nobody can recognize. "Say we use the 'In Da Club' hand clap -- not even 50 Cent would notice," he continued. "But if you listen to 'Genesis,' the first track [on †], there are samples of Slipknot, Queen and 50 Cent, but they are such short samples no one can recognize them. The ones from Slipknot, for example, are just tiny bits of the voice." Other samples that fans claim to have found within Justice's musical maze include Three 6 Mafia, Devo, Britney Spears and Madonna. But the duo want a few of the samples to be easily identifiable. "Sometimes we do also use big samples," de Rosnay said. "On the album, we used three big samples that we had to clear, and all the rest are just impossible to recognize. We're using the very short samples to improve the sound, because we are just writing melodies on piano and then we are listing each note taken from other records, so we make a trade between those notes and the proper loops." De Rosnay then sat down at his MacBook, reminiscent of the way, say, Josh Groban sits down at a piano. He pressed "play" and then "stop" quickly enough to release a millisecond of sound from a song that's destined to remain a mystery to everyone but him. "Just like that!" he said triumphantly. Repeat ad infinitum for most of the duo's songs. "That's why it takes so long to do."

I'm assuming that this is why Cross—and Planisphère, an EP they made shortly after Cross (check it out!)—have such a rich sound and texture. maybe it's confirmation bias but they really do feel to me like they have that kind of fabric brushing against my ears

I wish they had kept working with that style....none of their later work (AVD onward) feels as deep to me (or rly grabs me in general). though the process of using that many tiny samples admittedly sounds exhausting, even without the threat of lawsuits for sampling :(

[cnestus]

If you don't mind me asking, what exactly is your job and degree? Getting into the field of entomology is a bit intimidating and I would appreciate any any advice.

i tend to be a little cagey about my exact job since my field is quite small and there's enough people following me that the chances of someone deciding to take offense to something and Get Weird at me are nonzero, but that's probably excessive paranoia on my part. then again beloved internet bug person mossworm got recently sacked from their job on account of weirdo online tattletales so maybe not.

anyway i can say i work for a government agency identifying insects from a pretty wide geographic range, looking for new exotic species and potential pests. during the busy season i spend most of my time processing huge volumes of raw trap samples, pulling out insect groups of interest, mostly woodboring beetles, for myself or one of the other entomologists in the lab to identify to species. during the off-season when we're not getting tons of new samples i get a little more free reign to work on other projects of my own design, so for example lately i've been working on my bee identification skills and am slowly putting together a large reference collection of native bee species that i reserved from years of insect trap by-catch.

i got my PHD in entomology without a specific career in mind but knowing i wanted to do something that wasn't just about developing products and methods for killing unwanted insects which seem like the main entomology jobs anyone wants to fund anymore. in a perfect world i'd love a entomological curation job in a museum but those positions are rare and in-demand and i didn't have the mental fortitude to do the kind of academic work in grad school to make me competitive for that field. but then i went ahead and got a job that lets me do some curatorial work anyway so i sort of won? my position is still at least on paper about controlling unwanted insects but in practice i rarely have to do much of that work, at least directly.

i get semi-regular requests for advice on getting a job as an entomologist and i often feel like i don't have much constructive or encouraging to say, since it's hard not to feel like it's one of the many disciplines being squeezed to death by the iron hand of capitalism. more and more positions in the government and academia are being cut or downsized by bureaucrats who don't see the benefit of taxonomy or any other research that doesn't directly result in their department or some corporation making a bunch of money. whole subdisciplines are dying out as the elder entomologists who were the sole sources of knowledge about them die off. there are entire groups of insects and other arthropods that are effectively impossible to identify to species now because the one taxonomic wizard who specialized on them died without having anyone to pass that knowledge onto. Donald Bright, the only living expert on bark beetles in the preposterously diverse and morphologically subtle genus Pityophthorus, died a few months ago without an heir that i'm aware of.

also most of the taxonomic research that is being done these days is all molecular systematics which i have Opinions about but this post is way too long already.

sorry. that was a bummer. i guess i'm proof that it is still possible to get a job like this today, even if i can't help but feel like it was mostly luck that got me here. plenty of the others in my academic cohort (that didn't burn out from grad school stress) also went on to get degrees in their field of study or at least adjacent to them. and again there are still plenty of entomology jobs in other sectors like agriculture, public health, nonprofits and NGOs and stuff like that. you also don't necessarily need an advanced degree in entomology for a lot of these, and a lot of people in the entomology field came in sideways through related disciplines like ecology, evolutionary science, general biology, or even things like viticulture and forensic science to name a couple examples from my own cohort.

looking back, that was mostly a lot of vague grumbling and not much concrete advice, but to be fair asking for "any advice" is a hard prompt to go off of so i tend to default to the kinds of grim thoughts that are usually rattling round in my brain. i may also be in an especially dour mood at the moment because even though my job isn't to my knowledge at any risk of being eliminated, my lab is currently being passively if not outright antagonized by higher-level bureaucrats for genuinely mysterious reasons and i will not elaborate on that any further for reasons i mentioned at the beginning. anyway! i am always happy to at least attempt to give more specific advice but i can't promise there won't be at least a little grumbling in that as well.

[daceydeath]

A Work Proposal (Part 8)

Pairing: Felix x Reader Word Count: 2.9k Genre: Smut 🔞 Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, unprotected sex (don't be dumb), loss of virginity, hand job, creampie, soft dom reader, pet names (baby boy), dirty talk.

You had been working with Stray Kids for a while now and after a long day at work turns into a very unexpected but intriguing proposal. Will this change your world or end your career?

You had waited almost a week stressed about what could occur but nothing happened with Eui's departure, there were no rumors about Chan or the kids, none about you within the company and most telling, for you, no media articles claiming anything had happened. You even received a grovelling apology from the higher ups that had doubted you which was a very strange thing to receive, and you were pretty sure it had everything to do with how angry Chan had been. For their part the kids had been exceptional at telling anyone who would listen about the psycho that had been so infatuated with Chan she was almost stalking him and how many horrid things she had done to you and others in the company which would make any allegations all that more unbelievable. Once the girls from Itzy had heard about it they came rushing in to see you flustering the boys greatly as they hugged you and gave you endless compliments before telling them how lucky they were to have their noona and they would take you back if the kids didn't look after you better from now on.

"They will steal you from us?" Jeongin asked wide eyed "Can they do that?"

"No Innie, they can't and I wouldn't leave you anyway" you smiled fondly at him still laughing to yourself at how sweet the girls were.

"You sure, you seem very happy with them?" Minho teased making you smirk at him.

"They aren't as good in bed Minho so I would have to say no" you sniggered sending some of them into giggles and the others into blushing messes.

Chan had done his best during the whole turbulent time to make sure that regardless of what happened you would come out of every situation clean of any trashy rumors and he had kept his word, you discovered, when one of your friends from the legal department emailed you a copy of the NDA that Eui had been asked to sign before her termination making it impossible for her to tell the press anything without the threat of massive legal action. Everything had started to run smoothly again and as winter break approached you hope everything would be finalized for the new year to start again.

"Jagi?" Felix grinned looking at you with bright eyes "Did you want to come shopping with me tonight? I need to pick up some gifts for a few people"

"Course Felix, that sounds like a fun distraction as long as none of the presents are for me" you smiled genuinely at him.

"What if instead of a present I bought us snacks?" he chirped looking happy that you had agreed to go with him.

"Snacks are acceptable" you beamed collecting up your tablet and photo card samples that you had brought down to show them "Did you want me to meet you back down here later or should I just meet you there?"

"Back down here is fine we can head to the dorm the go if you want" his eyes shone as he spoke making you melt for him, Felix had that effect of most people if he was happy everything was good in the world.

You left for your desk feeling like you at least would have something fun to keep you feeling positive and playing the role of Felix's assistant while he shopped sounded more enjoyable and less taxing than anything else you were likely to do. Making your way back down to the dance studio you found yourself taking a seat waiting for the guys to finish up, you watched them go through one last song before Felix grinned at you and hurried off to shower and change so you could leave straight from the company. This left you with Hyunjin and Minho who immediately took advantage of your presence to show you a piece that they had been working on for a few months.

"This one is just for us" Hyunjin smiled dazzlingly at you "its just the three of us, and its different to our usual sort of things"

"How so?" you asked tilting your head slightly confused but your interest piqued.

"It's far more sensual than anything we would do as a whole group" Minho smirked as he went to start the music. You watched mesmerized as the two of them moved noticing the space that Felix should be occupying and trying your hardest not to give in to the temptation to stare too longingly at the pair of them. They watched you as carefully as you watched them, their eyes mapping your every facial expression, every lip bite and every time you licked your lips.

"Jagi?" Felix called as he walked back into the studio his hair done and his clothes changed into more street ware, black jeans that made his legs look amazing, white t-shirt and a black leather jacket he always looked so effortlessly sexy.

"Looking handsome Felix" you smiled teasing him a little and watching his cheeks warm up.

"I'd say you look good too but you always look beautiful" He smiled back warmly walking over to take your hand and lead you from the studio to the car waiting for you both.

"Such a flirt" you giggled making him laugh with you.

"Did you like the choreography? were going to work on a few projects as units so this is the beginning of ours" he explained letting go of your hand but guiding you through the hallways with his hand on your lower back.

"It's very sexy, or maybe it's more sensual than sexy but still it's hot" you fumbled your words trying to imagine him doing the same moves you had just watched Hyunjin and Minho perform.

"We can show you all together some time if you like" he teased his hand dipping lower on your back momentarily and squeezing your arse making you gasp.

"I would love that. A lot" you mumbled before taking a breath to steady yourself "What did you need to get today anyway? You only said gifts this morning".

"I want to pick up some sneakers for Innie, a bracelet for Bin and there was a shirt that I thought Hyunjin would really like but I need your opinion on" he listed "and if I see anything for Chan that would be great but if we manage these three I will be happy". You smiled at him as he opened to door of the car for you to step into asking the driver to take you to the mall and leave you there until he was needed again.

You had been in the VIP area of luxury boutiques before, the Itzy girls had always had you tag alone with them when they shopped, but it was strange to be treated like you were the same as Felix not just as his assistant. You had been treated like a princess by the staff at both Chanel and Saint Laurent, each going above and beyond to show you endless jewelry, bags and clothes as Felix tried on the shirt he wanted to get for Hyunjin, noting anything you particularly liked on a tablet that was located on the sided table by the door, making you a little suspicious.

"Do you think Hyunjin will like it?" Felix's voice broke your train of thought making you stand and walk over to the changing area, Felix looked incredible in the black silk button up shirt that he was wanting to get for Hyunjin "Jagi?" he giggled.

"Sorry...I think he will love it" you smiled bashfully biting your lip in embarrassment at being caught looking at him so longingly in public.

"So cute Jagi" he whispered leaning forward to tenderly press him lips to yours cupping your cheek.

"Felix" you warned playfully which just made him grin and deepen the kiss his tongue caressing yours as he pulled you tightly against him.

"Can't help it Jagi, you look too good" he smiled letting you go as he stepped back from you allowing you to walk back out of the dressing area so he could change. After leaving behind Saint Laurent and approaching Dior you felt the need to press Felix on what was happening.

"Felix, why are they treating me so well?" you whispered hoping not to be overheard by the security that had been assigned to escort you between the designer stores.

"Oh, I told them you are my girlfriend and need to be treated well" he blushed slightly biting his lip.

"Girlfriend?!" you whisper yelled looked confused.

"Yeah well that way you are allowed wherever I go and you get to see all the clothes and things you want, I get to kiss you and tease you" he smiled his usual sunny smile replaced with something more cheeky making you relent with your questioning. "Besides everyone has been keeping track of what you like so that we will know what to get you for presents, its win win really"

"Lee Felix!" you scolded quietly "didn't I say no more presents? you do know good boys are supposed to listen" making him laugh softly and take your hand, intertwining your fingers together. The same thing happened in Dior and then again in Prada which only made Felix grin every time he caught your eye. Finally after buying the final gift in Prada Felix led you back to the car to take you home again.

"Would it be alright if I leave a couple of these with you? Innie is really bad at searching for gifts" he chuckled rolling his eyes.

"Of course Felix, did you want me to just take them up or did you want to bring them in yourself?" you asked softly not wanting to seem like you were pressuring him for more time if that isn't what he wanted.

"I'll bring them up" he smiled brightly as the driver opened the door for you helping you from the car.

You walked into your apartment, flowers that Minho had sent you were sitting on your coffee table, the blazer Jeogin had bought you draped over the back of the sofa and the purse he and Han had gotten you hanging securely on a hook beside your door making Felix smile more.

"I'm glad the others take good care of you" he murmured placing the shopping bags on the couch turning back to you to cup your cheek stroking your cheek bone softly "Am I allowed to kiss you again jagi?"

"Of course Felix you are allowed anything you want" you whispered softly as he dipped his head to press his lips to yours gently caressing your lips with his own in a sweet kiss that made you see stars.

"Anything huh?" he teased stroking your sides with his hands causing you to shiver against him "Can we go to bed?" he breathed against your lips as he kissed you again.

"Yes Felix if you're sure you want that" you mumbled "I would love that".

He pulled you closer against him, pressing your hips against his as he pressed his pretty lips to yours silently groaning as you slipped your tongue into his mouth. Kissing Felix was one of the things you enjoyed the most he was so careful with you so sweet and loving that it made your heart swell every time his lips were on yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck one hand sliding into the hair on the nape of his neck pulling him closer against you, of all the guys he was the only one who seemed to want to treat you like you were made of glass, the others could be tender with you treating you gently as they made love to you, but it didn't ever feel like this Felix had a way of making you feel like he actually loved you.

"Jagi" he whined softly against your mouth hid hands wandering your hips and arse squeezing and kneading your curves "Need more of you" you pulled away to see a cute little pout grace his beautiful face making you giggle as you led him to your room and playfully pushing him down on your bed making his face flush the prettiest shade of pink you had ever seen.

"You need more of me pretty Felix?" you teasingly smiled biting your bottom lip as you straddled him his hands instantly coming back you squeeze your hips as his mouth opened in a gasp. You remembered what he had told you he only participated in oral sex he hadn't wanted to go any further than that before, you felt yourself getting wetter at the idea he might want you to be his first, out of everyone he could easily have he might want you. Either way you were happy to tease him before you blew him if that was all he wanted from you.

"Yes please Jagi, need all of you" he whimpered pulling you down against his chest and connecting his lips to your neck and kissing his way up to your mouth his kisses getting more heated by the moment. You pressed your hips down against his crotch faintly rolling them against him to see his reaction, he groaned sweetly against your lips his length hardening beneath you.

"All of me?" you purred your fingers sliding up and down his clothed chest.

"Please jagi" he gasped as you began sliding your hands under his shirt to trace the muscles of his abs and chest hitching it up until you pulled it over his head to reveal him to you.

"Do you want jagi to take care of you?" you continued to tease him, beginning to press yourself harder against him and move your hips a little faster making his head drop back.

"Yes jagi, please jagi" he mumbled panting slightly.

"I've got you baby boy" you smiled down at him before standing up and undressing yourself slowly as he watched with half lidded eyes, licking his lower lip as you started on his jeans. "You tell me if it's too much Felix, I want to make you feel good" you murmured kissing you way along his thighs as he shivered under your touch.

"Already do jagi, you make me feel so good" he groaned his cock already hard from just the little teasing you had done to him "Just want to make jagi feel good" he whined again when you kissed your way past his member and across his abs causing you to chuckle as he writhed below you from teasing stimulation. Slowly you wrapped one hand around his cock pumping it slowly as you continued to kiss your way across him flicking his nipple with your tongue making him hiss and squirm.

"Such a needy baby" you cooed kissing his throat as his looked up at you with such innocent eyes.

"Wanna touch you, can I touch you? taste you? please" he asked softly his breath hitching in time with the hand you were using to pleasure him.

"Where you you want to touch me baby?" you smiled kissing his lips gently.

"Everywhere, anywhere" he mumbled between kisses letting you move yourself off of his chest and straddle his hips again, brushing your slick core against his length "Fuck please".

"Show me where you want to touch me baby boy" you purred again wanting to let him have enough control to tell you how far was enough for him.

Felix dragged his hands along your thighs as he sat up, a dazed look still lingering on his pretty face as his fingers danced around your hips to pull you further against him grinding your wet core against his cock slowly the tip rubbing against your clit perfectly. His lips were on you again, more demanding than before his tongue sliding against yours and sucking on your lower lip, groaning when he felt you growing wetter against him.

"Jagi, want to be inside you" he moaned his head dropping to your shoulder as he shuddered slightly.

"Alright baby boy, let jagi take the best care of you" you whispered into his hair removing his hands from your hips and lifting yourself off of him just enough to take hold of him and guide him to your entrance. Intentionally slowly you lowered yourself down on him letting him feel every inch of your walls as his cock slowly filled you making him moan deeply as you took all of him and sat back on him.

"Jagi, ah, fuck" he muttered his eyes closed as you rolled your hips softly his hands going back to where they were on your hips as you started to move.

"Such a good baby boy letting jagi ride you" you mewled enjoying the stretch you felt as you rocked your hips his dick brushing against you g spot perfectly. Placing one hand on his chest to keep your balance you cupped his face with the other kissing him tenderly. He groaned softly his eyes rolling back as you squeezed him with your walls.

"Fuck, you feel so good, your so tight and hot and fuck" he yelped as you started increased your tempo you knew he wouldn't last as long this time and you wanted to make it as good as you possibly could for him.

"I can't wait until you fill me up baby boy, fill me up so I'm full of you cum" you whispered against his lips kissing him again his thighs were tensing harder now so you knew he was getting close as his moans got louder.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" he yelled as he pushed you harder onto his hips thrusting up into you as he lost control of his composure "Jagi" he cried as he reached his peak emptying his balls into you.

You kissed him softly holding him against you as he pressed his damp forehead to yours, his breathing was ragged but the prettiest smile sat upon his lips. You stayed still allowing him to soften fully before you lifted yourself off of him, his cum starting to drip out of you and onto your thighs.

"That was amazing" he mumbled blinking lazily but still grinning.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it Felix I wanted to make sure it was good for you" you smiled back as he opened his arms to cuddle you which you instantly allowed letting him pull you onto his chest while he drew patterns on your back until his breathing returned to normal.

"Jagi can we go again?" he mumbled into your hair as you felt him growing hard once more.

"Always Felix" you giggled as he rolled you under him.

A/N: Thank you for reading my loveliest loves! Once again any likes, comments or reblogs are adored and cherished xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @symptoms-of-moonlight, @septicrebel, @ayoitschannie, @krishastumblernow, @tangerminie, @elizalabs3, @armystay89, @septemberkisses, @stay-bi, @seolarflare, @damnyouficc, @eastleighsblog, @wohaku, @bakedlilgoonie, @roamingpolar, @tara-skyhold, @queenmea604,

[letstalktea]

Content: amab!medical student!Harper, afab!doctor!reader, dubious consent, hypnosis, medical play, vaginal fingering, mind break

Word Count: 2.2k

You looked over his charts one line at a time. There weren't any abnormalities or concerns. If anything, he was too healthy. Honestly, that was probably for the best given that he was only a few months from finishing his residency, which would really take the piss out of him. Soon he'd have to manage his own caseloads without someone there to help when things got tricky, so it was best he had the mental and physical aptitude to deal with the stress. Hopefully he wasn't one of the many, many doctors that picked up smoking in order to cope. It'd be a shame to ruin those healthy lungs of his.

"The good news is that everything looks good," you told him as you leaned back in your seat. "Same old, same old. You're fit as a fiddle and everything is working right as rain. Your vitals are good, although your heart rate is a little high. Nothing dangerous, but you should probably focus on your cardio a little more."

"Really?" He grabbed a pen from the edge of your desk. "Mind if I fidget?"

"Go ahead." You knew it was a habit of his. He wasn't your only patient who needed something in his hands while he spoke.

But he was the only one that insisted on tapping it against your desk. The slow, rhythmic pattern reminded you of the clock ticking in the background of your office. Steady, calculated, and easy to let fade into the back of your mind without a second thought.

"Of course, the lab still needs to run your blood and urine samples, but I doubt anything out of the ordinary will be found."

"I hope not," he said with his tapping serving as a kind of metronome for his words. "I'd hate to learn I have an issue right before I start a new job."

"Oh? Did you get an offer?" You knew he was looking since he seemed to update you every time he visited, but this was the first time you'd heard about an actual offer.

"As a general practitioner."

"Congratulations." You were genuinely excited for him, even if the sudden tiredness in your head made it hard to express the sentiment. "Where is it?"

When he said the name of the hospital and the town where it was located, you didn't recognize it.

"It's a small town; a blink and you'll miss it kind of place. I used to live there when I was younger."

"So you're going back to your childhood home? You must be excited." Again, you felt an uncharacteristic wave of exhaustion wash over you.

"In a way, I suppose I am. They've already promised me a rather… generous position because of my other talents. But in other ways," his eyes looked you over, lingering far too long on your chest as a small smile crept across his face, "I'm anxious."

You nodded. "That's normal. Moving from your residency to a full position can be nerve-wracking, but you'll do fine. Just keep a level head and do what you think is best for your patient."

"Are you sure, Doctor?" The background noise seemed to fade out as he spoke, leaving only his voice spinning in your head.

"Do you have any doubts in yourself, even after all the work you've already done?"

He chuckled. "No doubts, per se. I still have a few concerns though. Would you mind helping me through them?"

His voice burrowed deep into your mind, drowning out even the one in your own head. Whatever he said, it felt like they were your own thoughts. But… it made sense, what he was saying. 

If he needed help, weren't you the best person to turn to? After all, you were his doctor. You and he had a semi-casual, if albeit professional, relationship.

"What do you need help with?"

His eyes sparkled with mischief for a split moment, but you quickly put it out of your mind. "I'm still not entirely confident with my ability to conduct an examination, especially when it comes to female patients."

"That's a rather large concern given that's a basic skill all doctors should have." It was the very thing you'd just done for him. 

"I'm aware." He sighed. "If only someone more knowledgeable could walk me through it to make sure I know exactly what I'm doing."

"Would you like to practice with me?" The words were pulled out of your mouth before you could process them. 

As soon as they were spoken, they felt wrong. You couldn't quite place it, but the offer left a bad taste in your mouth. Still, it sounded right to your ear. After all, you were a doctor. You knew exactly what he needed to do and could guide him through it step-by-step. Plus, he trusted you. Who better to learn from than you ?

Still, there was a sinking feeling in your stomach that made you question yourself.

But all your doubts faded off somewhere far away as he placed a hand against your shoulder and stared down at where you still sat. "Thank you, Doctor." When had he gotten up? When did the noise in the room disappear? Why did you feel so weird?

"I feel like I should look the part before we begin." He pulled you up to stand on your own feet, unwrapped the stethoscope from around your neck, and helped remove your lab coat before putting it on himself. It didn't quite fit his frame, but it looked right draped over him. "What do you think? I look like someone you should obey."

"Yeah," you agreed without hesitation.

"Good," he hissed as he claimed the seat you had just been sitting in. "Go ahead and strip everything so we can start the examination."

"Traditionally, you would leave the room while your patient undresses. You'd also allow them to keep their underwear and provide a gown for them." Everything you said was the truth, but the throbbing and spinning in your head you felt as you contradicted him made you feel like you were saying something wrong.

"I know that, but this is supposed to be educational. It's better if I see everything." He smirked as he tapped your pen, but you couldn't hear it hitting the desk. All you could hear was him.

And you agreed with what he was saying.

If you were going to help him get more comfortable with examinations, you needed to show him everything from start to finish.

Your fingers fiddled with the buttons running up your midsection until your shirt came loose and you could pull both sides of the fabric apart to let your chest breathe, then you dropped it to the ground. Your black slacks were the next thing you undid, pulling out one leg then the other to let the pants pool on the floor beneath you right beside your top.

Harper inhaled sharply at the sight of you standing in front of him in nothing more than your bra and underwear. He leaned back as his legs spread and a hand came to rest between them. It was when he started rubbing himself while staring directly at you that you realized just how clearly unready he really was. After all, how could he expect to work with female patients if this was his reaction to something so mundane as seeing them semi-nude?

"Continue," he ordered through shaky breaths. "Take off everything before we start."

You reached around behind your back to unhook your bra. The straps went slack so you could peel it off and toss it in the pile with everything else. Then, it was quick work to finish up by hooking your thumbs into your waistband to pull off your panties.

You stood straight before him now completely naked. "Do you know what comes next?"

"Yeah." He was still rubbing the bulge forming in his pants as his eyes flickered across your entire body. "Sit on the table."

It was cold as you took a seat on the paper covered exam area. You were sitting a little higher than Harper now, giving him an eye level view of the space between your legs.

You were a professional, but something about this was embarrassing. All you were doing was helping train him, but the way his eyes ate you up felt predatory. You didn't want him to keep staring. You wanted to get down, get dressed, and scream at him for reasons you couldn't understand.

"Calm down and open your legs wider."

As soon as he said that, all of your anxieties melted away. It was just an exam. You had no reason to be nervous. He was just doing what he was supposed to when he looked you over. This was exactly what you had offered to help him with.

You obeyed and spread your legs further apart allowing the cool air of the small room brushed over your sex.

"I need to see deeper. Spread your pussy for me."

You tsk'd at his vocabulary even as you did as he said and used your fingers to open yourself up for him. "It's a labia. You're going to be a doctor. Call it by its proper name so there's no confusion when you talk to a patient."

"I think we should use layman terms so our patients understand us better." Harper chuckled low in his throat as he stood from your chair, showing off the bulge straining against his pants at he came to his full height. He grabbed a pair of purple gloves from the disheveled box on your desk and slipped them on as he repositioned himself between your legs.

His hot breath ghosted over your clitoris as he closely examined you. "Go ahead. Call it a pussy."

Again, your head was swimming.

"You look wonderful. We should make sure everything works down here though," he said with a smirk on his face as you looked down at him. "This will feel good."

Slowly, he began to rub his gloved fingers over your slit, teasing your folds and prodding at your twitching hole. Your legs began to tremble with only the simplest of touches, as if every part of you was suddenly hypersensitive. Every place he touched sent a hot jolt straight to your brain that had you restraining a cry of pleasure in order to keep your professionalism in tact.

"Don't hold back." He moved his fingers up to stroke your hot, swollen clit in small circles. "Tell me what you're feeling so I can do a proper examination."

"Yes," you sighed in rapture as you dropped the last of your defenses at his command. "My pussy feels hot. You're making me so wet that I can't think."

"Thank you for the feedback." He breathed heavily as he spoke, just before shoving the first of his fingers inside of your heat. "I need to test your stamina, so don't cum. You'll want to though."

"Yes!" You tossed your head back and tried not to roll your hips against his hand.

He was so thorough as he pumped his finger deep inside of you, twisting it around to scrape at your inner walls and massaging any place that had you whining for more. He was so careful with everything he did, but no matter how amazing it felt your body couldn't come. It was tortuous.

"What do you think of my skills, Doctor? Am I ready to see my own patients?"

You nodded. "You're amazing. After this, you shouldn't be nervous about your skills. You're going to be a great doctor."

"Thank you for the compliment." He shoved another finger inside of you and it felt like heaven and hell were fighting over your body.

"Your pussy is always so pretty," he mumbled as he leaned in to bury his face against your abdomen and run his tongue over your greedy clit. "Thank you for working so hard to train me."

That… didn't sound right. You were his doctor, but this was the first time you'd offered to help him.

Wasn't it?

"Instead of cumming, you'll go limp. Then we'll start the last part of your exam."

Fuck it.

You didn't care if you were forgetting something right now. Harper was doing such a good job at making sure your pussy worked that you didn't care. You were proud of him putting everything he'd learned in medical school to good use.

That's why you didn't fight it when your muscles suddenly stopped working and you fell backward against the exam table. It felt too good to worry or question anything.

You wanted to pout when he slipped his fingers out of your hole, but you couldn't muster the ability to. Instead, all you could do was watch as he stood up between your legs and removed the gloves coated in your juices.

"I'm going to miss you, Doctor," he said as he reached down and unzipped his pants to free his throbbing cock. "I need to use this to reach even deeper and make sure you really are healthy. It's perfectly normal to feel good during this exam, so don't worry if you end up cumming once or twice."

Then, he shoved himself inside of you and you could only feel endless pleasure and he rubbed along your soft, squishy, sensitive walls and overwhelming pride in just how dedicated he was to being the best soon-to-be doctor he possibly could. If this is what he was going to be like in his own practice, you knew he'd be someone of great renown.

[cdd-systems-support]

hi idk if you do like... advice or anything? ik ur blog has support in the url but I'm not the best at inferring stuff sometimes so like if u don't answer this sort of thing ur totally free to delete it, no hard feelings i can always find someone else to ask 👍

anyway I'm just... kind of stressed that i moght be wrong about being a system? i mean it's something I've been kind of sure of for a few years now but i also have a lot of other mental health stuff going on so 1. I'm worried being a system AND psychotic AND depressed AND having ocd AND being autistic AND having adhd is like... too much? even though i know it's fully possible it still feels like I'm not allowed or something. and 2. i can't relate to a lot of apparently common experiences? like i can't talk to my alters or anything like that but i have memory loss and dissociate a lot and reading back conversations and old posts i can tell like. oh that message i don't remember sending doesn't sound quite like me. so it makes things super confusing and makes me worried about saying anything about it because if I'm wrong I'll feel like an awful person, but if I'm right then it's something I'd like my friends to know, you know?

anyway I'm sorry for dumping all this on you but if you have any advice for like. figuring this stuff out (or if you can just tell me like "yeah you're not a system" that would help immensely too lol) it would be hugely appreciated, but again, no pressure to answer or even read this, wishing you the best regardless!

hi! am answer this sort of things, so don't worry! thank you for asking.

1) it's not only normal but pretty common to have a lot of comorbidities. disabilities are like "buy one, get 7 for free." let's look at your list.

adhd and autism have high comorbidity rate and it's widely recognized in community and medical field. sourse

"as many as 80% of adults with adhd have at least one coexisting psychiatric disorder." sourse

and it's also widely recognized and known that autism and adhd have high comorbidity with depression and anxiety disorders.

"individuals first diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders had a 2-fold higher risk of a later diagnosis of ocd, whereas individuals diagnosed with ocd displayed a nearly 4-fold higher risk to be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders later in life." sourse

"there is strong evidence for the existence of a high comorbidity between autism and psychosis with percentages reaching up to 34... according to literature, up to 34.8% of the patients with a diagnosis of asd can show psychotic symptoms and, similarly, autistic traits have been reported in schizophrenia patients in a percentage ranging between 3.6 and 60%." sourse

"while some studies showed no co-occurrence of ssds (schizophrenia spectrum disorders) and dds (dissociative disorders), others showed that between 9% and 50% of schizophrenia spectrum patients also meet diagnostic criteria for a dd. one study showed that in a sample of patients diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (did) 74.3% also met diagnostic criteria of a ssd, 49.5% met diagnostic criteria for schizoaffective disorder, and 18.7% met diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia." sourse

as you may see, neurodivergencies you listed are comorbid with one another. it's very possible to have them all (yes i haven't found comorbidities for every diagnosis with every diagnosis but there's some examples).

also, being system is a result of trauma, and being neurodivergent kid may be traumatizing experience. you may face ableism and misunderstanding, live in world unfriendly to your neurotype, etc. also being neurodivergent may increase your sensitivity to trauma or may do some "normal" things traumatic to you (like being forced to socialize, being forced to mask, etc).

so it's definitely not "too much" to have all these neurodivergencies and it makes sense actually.

2) your experience of being system doesn't have to match perfectly with others' experiences.

some people can't talk to alters. some people use external communication. some people can't communicate with alters at all. some people (me) may not notice communication.

it's possible to have high dissociative barriers. it's possible (and pretty common) to struggle with communication. it may be underrepresented in some community places, but it's very real challenge for lots of systems.

(also you may wanna research osdd-1a and pdid).

i have made post with some did signs (not exhaustive but heard of). maybe you may find it useful to look for different signs of alters presenting, not only communication. here

and again. if you come up wrong, you won't be awful. making mistakes doesn't make someone awful. it's okay not to know. it's okay not to be sure. it's okay to be questioning. it's okay to question something and be wrong / decide it's not your situation. you aren't bad. you don't appropriate things when you try to understand yourself. when you try to figure things out.

you may tell your friends if you wanna. even if you aren't perfectly sure. you may call yourself questioning system.

no one is born with clear and perfect knowledge abt themselves. to know yourself you have to question things. and sometimes you will be wrong. and it's okay.

hope it was helpful. if you have more questions (or if i misunderstood something and haven't answered properly), feel free to ask.

[cellsshapedlikestars]

gonna ramble a bit because I'm having a DAY but putting it below a cut, beware I will be talking about cat health issues/bodily functions/death

So last year around September, I first started noticing Beatrix not eating. 2 months later, she was dead.

Then, when I finally brought Beauregard to the vet again in January, I discovered he has hyperthyroidism. Treatable, but I needed to wait 7 months for the permanent treatment and until then, he's on a twice-daily pill.

I got Sophie in February, and everything is fine.

Last month, I woke up in the middle of the night to Beauregard screaming in the litterbox. He spent the day straining to poop, so I took him to the vet, who told me he wasn't blocked and that it was probably some issue with his urinary tract because he's a 10 year old male cat. Switched me to a different food. I let it go because Bobo pooped again after and I thought everything was fine.

Then I find there's something wrong with Sophie's anal glands. I take her to the vet on Friday, and they express the backed up gland and I'm given a probiotic to feed her.

Then Sunday, Bobo starts straining in the litter box again, but he does poop so I don't think anything of it, until I go to scoop and I swear I see blood.

So I call the vet this morning and the clerk tells me they'll leave a note for the vet. Doesn't sound overly concerned, so I feel better.

Until I get a look at Sophie's butt today and there's a tiny white string hanging out of it - and I had JUST seen a kitten lady post about tapeworm. So I look up more pictures of tapeworm and it looks exactly like what's going on with Sophie.

The vet clerk said to bring in a stool sample, and if one cat has it, they both have it. Which would explain Bobo's poop issues, the blood in the stool, and even Sophie's anal gland issue.

When I say I genuinely felt like I was going insane, like why were my cats having so many issues back to back, what was I doing wrong? And it doesn't help that I still feel a bit traumatized from losing Bea so quickly and so young, even though I feel ridiculous for saying that because it's just a cat, you know? Except they're not, I love these stupid things more than most humans.

There's a part of me that DOES hope it's tapeworm, because then that means there's an explanation for everything. But then - how did they get it? Sophie got a dewormer from the SPCA before I got her, and it's been 4 months since then and I'm only just now seeing issues? I've also given both her and Bobo flea treatments since then (which is apparently how cats get it)

Anyway, I want to cry because I hate this and I'm supposed to be working but I don't care and I'm also vaguely paranoid that they somehow transferred it to me even though apparently that's highly uncommon but I could barely eat my lunch thinking about it

Either way, I need one of these cats to poop so I can take it for testing. Going to spend the rest of my work day stress crying.

also, the next chapter will probably be delayed because I'm in a mood.

[tealincubusspeckles]

Concept Card

To those in the Seduce Me Community who are uninspired here are some concept ideas that you can chew on.

Overarching Theme: What made you fall in love with your love interest in the first place? Can you put them in a situation where that attribute shines through in a different scenario?

Concept A “Comfort Collaboration” Main Theme: Break the dependency 1. People like comfort characters. 2. Yet, they do not ask themselves “How can I make my partner more comfortable with me”? 3. Possible MC motive: Person who like comfort, but disregards their own boundaries to help others. Or they lack confidence to comfort another. 4. Possible resolution: the brothers or LI help MC to realize she is not as shy as she once was around them.

Concept B “Hold Down The Table” Main Theme: When Dungeons & Dragons gets weird or when players fail successfully? 1. MC, the dungeon master, gathers the brothers to test a new story on the boys. 2. MC wants to see their reactions, but also to make note of possible routes other players may choose in the story. 3. Comedy/surprising twist: Damien often rolls to seduce the most. 4. Whenever Sam attempts to flip the table the other brothers have to hold it down. “It's just a game bro! It's not that serious”. (+5 emotional damage, -3 hp) jk.

Concept C “Language Soup” Main Theme: Knowing or Lack of knowing multiple languages as a mixed raced kid. 1. MC is a mixed raced kid. 2. Often people used to tell them “You should be able to speak [insert language here]". 3. The MC knows how to a small degree. 4. Or sometimes MC forgets the correct phrase or word when stressed so they refuse to speak. Or instead of going silent they swap in another word from another language they know. Example: "Usted es kawaii" 5. The brothers are interested in learning how many languages the MC knows. 6. MC and the boys journey to building confidence in speaking the other languages. 7. Soon it becomes a week day or a weekend challenge to see who can hold the longest conversation in a certain language.

Concept D “Birthday Windows” Main Theme: Is leaving home all for love worth it? 1. Takes place after SM2 in Sam's route. 2. MC never thought she would never see her friends again. 3. Although, she is far from them and they probably forgot her by now. She can still find similar things in the Plains that remind her of home. 4. Sam surprises her with a stone/crystal slab that works like a video call! It helps her get in contact with her friends or Sam's siblings. 5. Before she uses it Sam could explain the basics of how it works. Or He can "call" Matthew up to explain it. The slab can create illusions so Mika or the background looks "human". 6. Of course! This means Mika has to lie about where she is and how she is getting "wifi". But hey! Friends! 7. Mika cannot use the slab often since it requires tons of Sam's magic to do so. 8. It was Matthew who created the idea of this method. Erik who executed the original spell. James designed the "device" and instructions to send to Mika's friends. Damien was the one to deliver said "device" saying it was a sample product Mika wanted them to be the first testers. 9. *Keep in mind dog tags reached the Abyssal Plains and Diana knows the laws of the worlds. Why? Demons know a little about human culture and trinkets.

Concept E "The Boat Is Sinking!" Main Theme: In the game "The Boat Is Sinking" players who fail to group loose (sink). 1. MC gets stuck in an old elevator alone when visiting Thr Anderson Toys Company. 2. The elevator soon drops. MC gets nervous, faints, then hits her head. 3. Mika's starts dreaming (plot hole?) 4. She gets whisked away onto a pirate ship! 5. Here she meets Captain James, Quartermaster (Second Captain) Erik, Boatswain Sam, Pilot (Navigator) Matthew, and Master Gunner Damien. 6. MC also finds out that she is a captured mermaid they kept in a tank to make a deal. 7. Apparently before she passed out she told them she could make them happy. 8. The brothers are seeking a way out from their engagement with a foreign princess. 9. How can MC help all 5 of the brothers out of the engagement. What can a mermaid not related to mermaid royalty do? Maybe some animal friends can help? Or maybe the fact her grandfather was a shapeshifting mage?

If you use any of these concepts here, AO3, fan fiction, or whatever else please tag me or comment. I would like to see them in a story at some point.

[honeesblog]

The difficulty of proper academic comportment, dress, and relationships

As a female academic I am held to a very different standard to male academics in regards to physical appearance and this has only become more true as I've gone from undergrad to graduate student. At this point, I have to essentially dress for a job interview all the time, which luckily is quite natural for me as I've always preferred business casual clothes but moreover makeup and a splash of perfume and jewelry have also become staples. This is further complicated by the fact I don't have a full length mirror in my room, so dressing has become more difficult. Furthermore, as my goal is to become a professor, I need to think of my appearance and comportment in a very pragmatic way so as to further my chances. 

    I recently read an Economist article titled ' The Economics of Thinness' and it very poignantly made the case that being thinner, especially for women, raises employment outcomes and pay. I have always been on the larger side, never obese or even seeming as big as I really am. I swam competitively and I still lift weights and play several sports and at 5ft 8, my weight is quite well distributed. Most people would guess I weight 160-170lbs just on the edge of a healthy BMI but I in fact am 200lbs, well within the overweight BMI category. Since starting my PhD I've lost some weight and gained quite a bit of muscle from thrice weekly lifting sessions to deal with the stress alongside skipping breakfasts and sometimes lunches due to being busy but either way I'm larger than is economically ideal. Since I've lost weight I've noticed a social shift as well. Another great article is by Alana Massey titled 'You're Right, I Didn't Eat That' where she discusses the social benefits of thinness and her own need to maintain her thinness. She examines her own behaviour as half pragmatism and half pathology, making clear that it is not effortless, as I think so many of us assume when we see other women with prominent clavicles and flat stomachs. I feel I'm also in the same semi-pathological state occasionally, I need to go to the gym or get 10 000 steps but I don't need breakfast other than a coffee and splash of milk. Again, I'm not that thin yet but I'm working my way towards it, not because I hate my body or have self esteem issues (although I'd be lying if I said that those don't also factor in) but because I love what I do and I want to do it for a living. If I need to never eat breakfast again for my field I'd do it in a heartbeat. It doesn't help that I'm quite a competitive person and have been trying to get back into swimming again as I have free access to my university pool... Another issue is clothes, makeup, and jewelry. I've been updating all of these things as I want to seem sophisticated and intelligent as well as attractive. This Christmas I'm treating myself to some very nice jewelry and lipsticks, which are extremely expensive, and I keep a collection of perfume samples. Eventually I should buy a full size perfume of my choosing as I actually wear perfume most days now but it is all so very expensive!!! Same thing with clothes, I either need to take clothes in or buy new clothes as I've lost weight but its quite expensive for a student!

Dating is another aspect of my life which is important but frustrating. I would like to be married and have a child before my mid 30s. I have a long time sure but due to my commitment to my career and studies I've never been in a committed relationship. Even now that I'm actively looking to date, I get overwhelmed by my nerves and emotions and basically decide that dating is not worth the hassle due to fear. Academia also complicates the idea of having a partner as I will go all over the world for my job and whoever I'm with should support that and be willing to help and while a lot of women will do that for their men, the same can't be said for most men. 

Anyways, in all of these things I think I'm headed down the right roads I just need to keep to the course and commit myself to them. I'm planning on starting swimming 4-5 times a week once I get off break so hopefully that will work out. 

Thanks for reading x. 

Hon.E

[raptorladylover6969]

Again back to my last EOA post, and a comment I saw on a repost of it, I am 1000000% on board with the idea of the whole plot of Elena of Avalor, and some of the things in it, being a whole metaphor for Elena trying to keep herself from being driven to insanity aka becoming an evil dictator. Based on the personal research I’ve done, and connecting the dots to Elena’s character, I’ve noticed some key things in the show that sort of represent many “symptoms” of what a “clinically insane” person goes through.

Elena witnessed her own parents death right in front of her eyes. This alone should be traumatizing enough, but not even like 5 minutes later, Shuriki blasts her, but the amulet pulled her inside of it to save her. (Or at least, I like to think she did die, but her soul was sucked into the amulet, thus her possessing it, Five Nights At Freddy’s style). Elena is now sitting in the amulet, in what I think was a sort of state like Locked In Syndrome? Because when she did get out the amulet in Secret Of Avalor, she looked like she was sleeping, AND she forgot how to walk, hell even move around. So I think since she was in there for so long, she started “fusing” with the amulet, thus falling into a sort of coma, but still highly aware of whats going on around her + outside the amulet, but thats besides my point. She spends 40+ years, isolated from the world, with no one to talk to, no source of brain stimulation, no form of movement, just NOTHING. Shes trapped in a void. (*Void by Melanie Martinez starts playing*). Now looking at irl facts, there is no absolute way Elena didnt go insane in the amulet.

Looking at neuroscience, and the world of EOA, we can see the way Elena interacts with the world, and apply those statistics to Elena herself. In an article from The Royal Society Publishing, The Article titled “Perceived Social Isolation, Evolutionary Fitness and Health Outcomes: a LifeSpan Approach.” Written by Louise C. Hawkley, and John P. Capitanio states: “A sampling of recent studies shows that socially isolated housing of various social animal species at various stages of life and for various durations results in altered behaviour (e.g. anxious, depression-like, aggressive, passive, cognition/memory), physiology (e.g. changes in basal or stress–reactive corticosterone, blood pressure, inflammation, immune responses, hippocampal function) and mortality (e.g. post-stroke outcomes)” In the show, we can see Elena suffer through majority of these affects. Especially when it comes to her cognitive ability and critical thinking skills. We see her struggle hard in the show to solve problems, regarding the kingdom, and when communicating with other people.

I will also talk about the fact Elena can see ghosts, and Spirit Guides. I know, she has this power because “The amulet gave it to her.” But think of it this way: The amulet; her trauma, and Elena had to face “the trauma” for a LOOOOONG period of time. Another key factor when it comes to isolation, hallucinations. An Israeli adventurer/author Yossi Ghinsberg spent 3 weeks stranded in the Amazon rainforest (they actually made a movie about him‼️) Ghinsberg stated, due to him being isolated from society without any social contact/interaction, he experienced hallucinations. So what if metaphorically, Elena seeing the Spirit Guides, and ghosts, are her having hallucinations from spending 41 years away from society?

Elena’s dress. That goddamn dress. Its mentioned earlier that isolation can affect the brain’s cognitive abilities, and emotional health. So you basically would have trouble regulating your emotions, and your emotions would be all over the place. RING ANY BELLSSSSS⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ Her magic dress is a metaphor for her decline in her cognitive skills.

I now conclude my essay on how crazy I am about this damn kids show. I love Elena sm shes such a complicated character and I LOVE ITTTTTTTTT

[corundumb]

Credit goes to @head-in-the-icloud for the au and characters. Nova is my own character. I hope you guys like it 😁

✨🌟💎🔮🃏🃏

The Royal Jesters Fanfic- Seamstress Nova

The castle is magical, as are the residents. Well, not ALL of them at least. But in Novas mind they all are, each one is nothing she’s seen before. Even the ones that seem like clones visually have such personalities. In place of flesh there’s metal and what she assumes is magic, visually unique it was crazy.

But now it’s her new normal. Having spent a few years of her life here, she’s come to know them relatively well. The Princes love to expend their energy and stress by playing as Fools, playing pranks on each other and those around them. As much as they can be annoying it’s endearing. She thought something was up when Prince Sun spent more time in her workshop, suddenly finding some fabrics and accessories very interesting. Spending a day or so flipping through sample books she’s collected throughout her professional travels. Asking when she'll head out again.

Nova kept them categorized by region, shop, and then by colors, textures, and patterns. These books are more like mini suitcases with canvas as pages in place of paper, samples of previous fabrics she’s purchased in the past. Nova took pride in her collection, even if just to look at they’re wonderful reminders of previous designs.

Her bells collection, however, she felt it almost necessary to ban him from. The constant jingling to test which ones sounded perfect got on her nerves a little, but save for that one exception it was entertaining to watch him select the fabrics and ask her so many questions. When she asked him of his sudden interest in fabric, he was being uncharacteristically vague and dismissive. She guessed it was two things, something gold and shades of reddish orange, something azure and indigo. Veeery sneaky, Prince Sun.

She recognized the fabrics immediately as they donned their new apparel. They were almost unrecognizable with the masks, the Princes looked great as Jesters! Their antics made her laugh more, even when she became a target for a little while. The number of times one or both of her braids were now ‘mustaches’ for themselves or on her was a fast way to pull her attention from work. Under normal circumstances touching her hair would be off limits but she gave them permission if their hands were clean. Despite it not being her place, she saw them as family. This doesn't mean she enjoys EVERY prank or joke, she could do without the pies in her face.

When she first met Gaiya, she was more intimidated than she was by Eclipse. Purely from height and status, and staring into her soul spooked her for sure with those big eyes. But the initial fear did not stop her from admiring the grace she carried, and instantly knew she would be hardest to design for but thrilled with the challenges. When the Queen had time to review designs and fabrics she wanted she enjoyed the most, many varieties of snacks and teas available each time.

Eclipse…

Nova respected Neptune a great deal, a powerful wizard in his own level. Having to maintain and upkeep the knowledge required takes a lot of time. She's spoken with him only a few times, primarily for basic defense spells and the benefits of enchanting threads and fabrics for certain occasions.

During her travels to retrieve orders of fabrics, jewelry, and shop on her own accord for other necessities for her job she took guarding the goods and the money she traveled with extremely seriously. To the point where in between her travels, and main job as a tailor, she kept up her abilities by training with Eclipse when possible, or basic defense spells with Neptune. She has very little in magical capability and is only so strong physically. But what most don't know about her is why she keeps her gloves on 90% of the time.

From her fingertips thin but very strong wires of light move from her control. It's very dangerous mid to close range, and she has used it for mobility. Those who don't notice the light reflecting parts of the wires may believe she's floating or flying. But most fights she partakes in end up with body parts strewn about, the ground and herself covered in blood. It's very messy. Considering the wires can cut chunks out of wagons and armored personnel with relative ease, she's comfortable traveling on her own. But this does not mean she enjoys any bloodshed, she merely wishes to not be a burden in a kingdom of animatronics as a human.

The wires do have their benefits outside of battle, she's able to move heavy rolls of fabrics with ease on her own. But she must remain mindful of their sharpness. She'll regularly use them on herself to work on tailoring for the Queen directly, or to Eclipse when she's had enough making him more cloaks than he can burn through and gives him a piece of her mind face to face. His enjoyment of this just angers her more.

[ettawritesnstudies]

“The right belief is like a good cloak, I think. If it fits you well, it keeps you warm and safe. The wrong fit however, can suffocate.” ― Brandon Sanderson, The Final Empire

“But you can't kill me, Lord Tyrant. I represent that one thing you've never been able to kill, no matter how hard you try. I am hope.” ― Brandon Sanderson, The Final Empire

“Our belief is often strongest when it should be weakest. That is the nature of hope.” ― Brandon Sanderson, The Final Empire

I owe a lot to Brandon Sanderson. In the summer of 2020, I was three years deep into the worst reading-slump of my life, struggling with anxiety and depression thanks to a combination of university stress, the pandemic, a full time laboratory job, and living away from home in a strange dead city. My writing was struggling due to lack of time and input to fill up my creative well. I don't remember a lot of that spring, except that it felt like my head was constantly full of mist.

I had no idea how much my life would change when I picked up an audiobook of The Way of Kings to help pass the hours doing tedious sample prep. (Eternal thanks to @siarven for the recommendation and moral support for the past several years <3) Kaladin's ideals got me through that year, and the next, and the next, as I fell deeper into the cosmere.

I picked up the audiobook of The Final Empire this past summer, at another lab job, doing boring sample prep again, and immediately grew attached to Vin's character. I wish I had picked up this book in high school, because I relate to this awkward, intense teen altogether too much. Reading about her struggles was like reading about my slightly younger self, and I want to scoop her up in a hug. It also shocked me just how many of my OCs are incredibly similar to Vin, carrying paranoia, too much truama, great skill, and grander callings on their young shoulders.

Beyond that, The Final Empire is also just so much fun?? as much as post-apocalyptic hell-scapes can be fun, but Kelsier brings such an entertaining energy to the page, and his beacon of hope resonated with those deeper themes that have always been the source of my love for these series. The "learning to fly" scenes are always my favorite, since I've been a little kid I've always dreamed of taking off into the wild blue yonder and leaving my problems behind, and there's no small part of wish fulfillment in this costume bringing me a little closer to launching myself into the sky.

I hope this cosplay did justice to the love I have for these books and for Vin's character. I tried my best to catch most of the details - her single earring, the vials, glass knife, coin pouch, and I even got my hair cut after four years for the occasion. This project started over the summer by hand-sewing the shirt, which I completed as I finished the trilogy. I did not end up cutting the cloak into ribbons to create the iconic mistcloak silhouette, as I plan to reuse this cloak for other projects, but I've added strips to the outside to give some of that look whenever I'm moving or there's wind. These are just-finished pictures in my dorm, but I'll be going outside on the next misty day for a proper photo shoot.

Thank you to everyone who's followed this project and encouraged me along the way! It was a lot of work, and in the end, I'm glad to have a good cloak that fits rather well.

[imagine-silk]

Hi it's me again! I absolutely ADORED the way you wrote for my past ask and so here I am with another one! Could I request the FO4 companions with a Werewolf!SS (lycanthrope)? They're permanently in said lycanthrope form and many people are freaked out by them. In actuality they're very friendly and would prefer to avoid conflict. But should the need arise, they can easily tear something apart (much like a deathclaw). Sorry if this is long but tysvm if you do fulfill it 🤗

This took embarrassingly long to make, but it did make it in October! Happy Spoopy Season! But for real I am so sorry it took so long (TTMTT)

BASICS

You transformed when you exited the vault, almost like the air triggered it.

Most people don’t shoot you on sight because they’re just so terrified, which gives you the chance to talk and show you are no threat

After a while of doing quests for everyone around the Commonwealth they don’t really react in fear anymore unless they don’t hear you coming

The people of the Commonwealth unanimously agree to defend you against people who would do you harm because they know how much you dislike conflicts. Hell, they intervene when a merchant is trying to scam you.

Kids love you. To them you’re a form of controlled danger, like a roller coaster.

Raiders have the mixed reaction that boils down to shooting on sight or running away.

CAIT

When she met you she was so high she didn’t react to you being what you were. Tommy also keeps his composure but that was to hide the fact he’s shitting his pants. And when the high wears off she doesn’t know how to react so she’ll very scarcely refer to it. Only off-hand will she ever really say anything about it. “You hairy shite! You should’ve ripped him a new one. What’s the point of claws if you’re not gonna use ‘em?”

Your friendly nature is a lot more off putting than your snout. She was never really afforded kindness so to her this is all strange so her. But it did ease her into it considering you are a literal monster, it makes you so foreign it’s more digestible. Like a unicorn.

She doesn’t have that healthy fear of the supernatural that the Celtic usually do, so you won’t have her tell you about that folklore. Probably for the best, she most likely would’ve killed you if that were the case.

CODSWORTH

Recognizes you as soon as he sees you and sees no real issue with your transformation, because he's known since he met you before the war. You’ll have to explain why it’s dangerous to walk around in this form otherwise he’ll not really address it.

Tries to pamper you as much as he can. From his understanding the only times you transformed at home was when you were under a lot of stress, like when Shaun had an allergic reaction to the detergent and his chest was red, so he tries to soothe you in hopes to relieve tension. Every night he takes a brush to you and gently takes out all the knots he can find. He cooks all your meals and when you leave without him he packs you lunch. Makes sure no one disturbs you while you are in the house, it is your safe haven. And he knows the importance of you getting exercise so he asks you to fetch the water he uses for chores.

If someone says something rude about your supernatural form he will tell them off. How rude of them! Who are they to say you are lesser? You are perfect! The very model of a proper gentleman! No one in the commonwealth can compare! Good day to you!

CURIE

She will run tests on you, that’s just a fact. If you have any sort of healing factor she will experiment with it to make new cures. In the name of science she will need a blood, hair, skin, and nail sample (more invasive test pending).

Your dog face has no real effect on her one way or another socially. She simply talks to you, nothing new there. If someone mentions it she will ask why it matters and most of the time that person will back off.

You two are an odd pair to see in the wild. A traveling Miss Nanny medic and a standing yao guai who both will do anything to not fight but wreak face when they do. And let me tell you, when she becomes a synth you two are still confusing. This giant hulking beast with a petite woman with a pixie cut and a french accent. Strange.

DANSE

It is by the grace of god that he did not shoot you, or in this case gun smoke. After the meeting fight he goes over talking to you, as the fog clears and is not prepared to see the world’s hairiest deathclaw.

He will punch you a few times when you show up out of nowhere and god forbid if you try to scare him intentionally. Contrary to popular belief he’s not that trigger happy to accidentally shoot you, however if you scare him before he’s used to you it won’t be accidental.

Not going to lie, he will not trust you fully until he’s depresso espresso after blind betrayal. His whole world view banked on preserving humanity, so when his humanity was questioned and found wanting it made him question it for the first time. And when you are there for him he wonders why; Why did you help him even when he was more than rude to you? Why did you smile after avoiding a fight with someone asking for one? Why were you upset when you couldn’t avoid it? Why did you save him? Why did he never consider you a person before?

DEACON

Because you transformed immediately after you left the vault he saw you change. It freaked him out and immediately thought you were going to be a huge problem. A person came out of a vault that has never opened ever and they turned into a werewolf! But he calmed down when he realized you couldn’t transform back and forth. No surprises.

When you finally meet he doesn’t react to you and you find that very very strange but you appreciate it nonetheless. Of course he doesn’t tell you he already knows you’re friendly and nonviolent and you become fast friends. 

He even makes plans of attack; Sick ‘em = where he pretends to be a merchant and threatens them with his vicious mandog, Get help = pretends to be seeking refuge running away from a monster, or his personal favorite Follow me = You lead them with your voice and then show yourself when they can’t run back. All of them focus on scaring them away.

Unlike Cait he knows all the folklore but he just jokingly throws sticks and says fetch. If you do chase it he does it every now and again when you are just traveling. If you don’t find it amusing he nervously laughs and never does it again.

DOGMEAT

woof

HANCOCK

Without him Good Neighbor would have killed you. Daisy and KLEO alone had their guns out the second you walked through the doors and best believe Finn didn’t offer you protection. But when he heard you say hello he still tried to scare you. But to everyone’s surprise you didn’t attack him, Hancock dealt with him. RIP dumbass. He calmed down all the watching bystanders and turned to address you smiling with blood on his face.

If you have a problem with his willingness to kill he will offer to join in your pacifism, as long as you are able to avoid it. Like, you would have to be cornered and even then he would deal with it for you. It’s a real Spiderman and Deadpool situation.

Checks in with you to see if you're doing okay. He treats you no differently just because you’re a bit hairier than everyone else. People treat him differently because of his lack of hair so as long as you have empathy he has no problem with you.

MACCREADY

He actually laughed when he first met you. Not because he thinks you’re funny but because he’s terrified and doesn’t know how to express it. It boils down to a nervous chuckle when you ask if he’s for hire because now he’s not only terrified, he’s confused. You want him to protect you? That sounds inaccurate no matter how good of a shot he thinks he is.

Is very good company for you. Don’t like fighting? He doesn’t like close quarter fighting so it’s never an option to go in guns blazing. He’ll pick them off from a safe distance because let’s be real, raiders don’t specialize in snipers and gunners only shoot when there is money to be made. You can even have a casual talk with him while he does it.

Your hairy disposition becomes endearing after a while. Like, “Yeah, that’s my best friend. They’re almost seven feet tall.” “You know they hate fighting right? Yeah, they can’t stand it.” “Aye aye! Be careful! You’re not invincible.” The way he talks about you varies from helpfully informing to bragging. If you romance him he says things like, “Aren’t they cute?” or “How did I get so lucky?” and those around him just kinda shrug.

NICK

Is surprisingly unfazed by your appearance. He just looks up at you and goes, “Well that’s new.” He’ll laugh and say something about the hero being the monster. If you're put off by that comment he’ll apologize, to him it was just a comical fairy tale stereotype and not a hill to die on.

Has also been called a monster so anytime you feel conflicted he’ll give you a little pep-talk. He’ll bring up the fact that you save people regularly and go out of your way to avoid conflict, he doesn’t believe a monster would do that.

Did at one point save you from a mob single-handedly. You know how he knows everyone, well he talks down several people in the crowd. Even throws in, “I’m not human. What makes me different?” Very risky but it disperse the crowd.

PIPER

Somehow more invasive than Curie. Because instead of her research being for science it's for a newspaper. You did it because she is very persistent and you don't like fighting. Even if some of the interview is flattering it's still a little uncomfortable.

But she's very tricky and as mush as she gets into situations she gets herself out of them. She is confrontational but only to the degree of revealing the truth.

McDonough gets excited when he sees you. To him you're tourist attraction. He'll offer you a house immediately and Piper snarks at him. But for real, you can make deals with him. Like agreeing to live there or greet people or even having some sort of shop. Piper is conflicted about it though. On one hand she hates him but on the other you can be a spy or something.

PRESTON

Not gonna lie, when you went to help him he didn't call out to you. He hid, terrified he got this far only to get everyone killed, even more scared he would survive. Barred the door and only opened it when a stranger asked if they were okay and that they took care of the raiders. As relieved as he was he opened the door and was greeted by you.

Because you immediately and continuously help him and his wards he very quickly gets used to you and your uncommon figure. It's an added bonus that you detest violence. Makes it easier to trust you, but harder to assign you to get rid of raiders.

With your kind nature he feels stronger, more dependable. And because your less confrontational he steps up as general. Being with the Minutemen works for you. They're a hand-holding militia not a brute military so killing is not the main priority.

X6-88

What a fascinating person you are, scientifically and in identity. Scientifically you are a human who transforms into a bi-pedal wolf and due to unknown circumstance cannot turn back. But also you personally have the capacity to cause so much damage and yet you refuse to.

He has no issue killing for you just as much as he has no real issue using non-lethal force. Sometimes he does think it's stupid but it's not him decision to make. Besides, the institute is more than capable of make tear gas and things of that likeness.

If some scientist pressures you into experiments he will find out and supervise it. Most of the scientist are afraid of him so they'll either drop it or conduct low-stake tests. If the scientist is invasive and holds neither of you in regard he will remove you from the situation. If the scientist protest he will use force.

[scripted-downfall]

Jensen in DA is SO GOOD. Alec is my bebe and I love him. He deserves better. Even that proves how good of an actor he is.

I also feel Jared puts Jen down whether intentionally or not. Jen would not be caught dead really insulting Jared but Jpad seems to wear it a badge of honor if he can get Jen flustered.

And don't even get me started on the prequel thing.

That's something I don't think I can ever forgive.

He's not a toddler and depression doesn't excuse bad behavior.

And Jared is the golden child of the cw and I think it's bc he's a spoiled brat. He gets what he wants bc he knows they need him.

Idk. I just hope either Jen goes off at some point or that Jared gets what's coming to him. I'm waiting for his in Icarus moment.

Jensen's going places. Jared has no future outside of Daddy cw.

-Actor

Hello again! Sorry for the delay; it was Very Late when we were speaking earlier, and I didn't see your notification come through before I was conking out for the night :) It was nice to find waiting for me though!

And yes, absolutely; Alec was an awesome character, and I cannot stress that enough! He was done unfortunately dirty by the situations on set --- now that is an irl situation that I've heard a lot about --- but I really liked what they were able to produce in spite of that. I loved the friendship that developed between him and Joshua, especially (though it'd be nice if that X-5 from his past missions had been able to stick around for longer, so he wasn't quite so isolated). Also, though it isn't saying anything about Alec, per se, I loved 'Pollo Loco'; it was one of the few s1 episodes I really enjoyed.

I will be the first to confess that I don't know as much as others about Jensen's and Padalecki's irl interactions, but I've seen a number of clips from conventions and the like, and I've had the same impression. Given that these were just clips I came across looking at neutral tags on Tumblr, the fact that a random sample of these all left me with the same impression definitely tends to suggest that there's a statistical prevalence for that kind of behavior. Additionally, those bits I have seen --- his tantrums on Twitter, his thing about "anyone could have played Dean", being negative towards Misha (e.g. calling him a servant "jokingly" when he brings Jensen a beer, etc), and --- lest I be called biased again --- even the non-Jensen-centric bits of vitriol I've seen on Padalecki's social media.

And. The prequel thing. I feel like that speaks for itself.

As for the rest, I think it's probably easiest just to say that I agree (and I can feel the stans readying their keyboards for more threats, so keeping this brief is probably a good idea). We'd been talking earlier about the pride before the fall, but I like your term: Icarus moment. And yeah, for now, Padalecki's at least treading water. Maybe that'll last for a while --- especially given that he has an entire army of people willing to fight for him, for some (not so) unknown reason --- and, if it does, I guess I congratulate him. Fooling a large number of people is, after all, the main job that an actor's supposed to accomplish and, personally, I can't help but feel that he's managed it to some degree. After all, convincing this many people he can act is an impressive trick!