#again i dont wanna say the tour is cursed but-

[daredevils-advocate]

Lots of emotions around here recently.

[pwblogarchive]

April 2004

April 1, 2004

“hey heartbreaker, you'll never work in this town again”

I think someone is impersonating me online. Could be a joke. But if you talk to someone online and they say they are me, they aren't. I don't talk to anyone online. Texas is fun. We got some sick clandestine hoodies. They've got bats on the hoods and all. Sidenote: I love nickplan. Sorry my words don't have the same weight they usually have right now. Usually they feel stuck in my throat, today it feels okay inside my skin. Oh yeah chicagoland. We want to roadtest some of our new songs so we will be playing around unannounced on shows at really small venues in the next few months. If you snooze you lose. You never know what show we may play.

April 4, 2004

“we love life”

Texas was sex. Dallas being the most amazing. Its hot down here. We played with a band called DV8, this really young band (13-15). They were rad. The bassists bass was bigger than him. Me some rad kids in arkansas, they were starry-eyed and made me tongue-tied. I've been writing a lot lately. All my old charms and curses are back in full swing. I can't wait to get home. Well take these hearts and rename them dangerous and invincible. Well make them too hard to break.

Peterpan

April 7, 2004

“a man-made monster with every human emotion (clandestine explained 1)”

So a lot of people have been asking us about these hoodies and shirt with bats on them. It is not a clothing company. It is not a new band. When I was younger I had this same nightmare over and over again- so my friend tim biedron and I made a story of it (www.timbiedron.com to check out his art). The story is finished and we are waiting on some of the illustration. You may love it or hate it but its something that was stuck inside my head for a long time. We will be selling shirts and skatedecks online soon (www.clandestineindustries.com) and the story will be available this summer. Take the time to check it out if you get a chance.

Love peter

April 10, 2004

“ice age, heat wave cant complain”

i really like the new modest mouse cd. it's called good news for people who love bad news. purchase it.

April 11, 2004

“the moon has one third less gravity than your earth, i don't know if you can comprehend that”

im home. i love aqua teen hunger force. its hilarious. i wanted to let everyone know that if you haven't heard the point id suggest checking them out. a good mix of core and punk rock type stuff. i really really enjoy the hell out of them. www.thepointrock.com

still listening to modest mouse. still think you should get it. being home is nice. im full of food and really clean and im wearing my hood up. im way tired.

April 11, 2004

“I want to sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you”

Thanks for fun on tour. For the record for those in freeport- we had a little bit of fun with you. I will not ever drink. Its not my thing. So if you think there was more than water in that beer bottle, I have a bridge you might wanna buy too.

April 12, 2004

in response to a post on our messageboard, i want to say that i eat only cocoa crispies. i dont dig any other cereals.

April 14, 2004

“in case you're keeping score”

Being in a band is the ultimate friendship ruiner. Went to two shows tonight. In addition to all the smoke got to hang with: akas, beautiful mistake, dld, apo, senses fail and rufio. Being in a band is the best friendship maker. I am getting this awesome bass custom made, black with a red pick guard, no knobs, wired "on". I think it got me weird, so I dyed my hair red and black. Its sex or maybe not. I have 80 pages of lyrics to wade through. New songs soon. New love soon. Style update: I'm only gonna wear little polo tees with the collars up from now on. The clandestine webstore is almost up. I want to get "mom" tattoo for mothers day.

Peter

April 14, 2004

i just wanted to welcome the academy to the family. it's cool cause i've seen these guys go from the beginning and now we're here....

- petey

April 15, 2004

“who dares wins.”

i have been having such a rad time at home. but i must admit i haven't gotten used to sleeping with out hearing my friends breathing in hotel rooms. my bed doesn't feel the same. we leave again today. i am excited to see old friends. i am excited to see some bands too. the full clandestine website is going to launch on april 22 at www.clandestineindustries.com - we'll have some gear at the next couple of shows.

i was gonna post some pictures of my experiments with shaving and hair dye here. but i don't know how so go on over to: www.fueledbyramen.com/journal to see em.

love peterlewiskingstonwentz

i've found that liars always sing the loudest. heart in mouth, ego on sleeve. you've always got the right girl and the right line. i swear to god, take this mic and cross my heart and hope you die. i'm singing this one just flat of the key of love. liars always sing the loudest. the act is getting old but i'm sure all the fools will follow like vermin down the hole.

April 15, 2004

hey jerks. i got bored and dyed my hair red and black- oooh scary. when i am home i only wear sweatpants and don't shave. here's a look into the life of a loser:

make me say ugh nahnahnahnah

[image here]

there's that quarterback smile we all hate 

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born to lose 

[image here]

pretty emo bro, you could use this one to score on live journal 

[image here]

and here's the after shaved and ready to do some stagedives. new jersey or bust. 

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this may in fact be photo evidence that i am gay 

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now that we have that out of the way. the full clandestine site should launch on april 22. we'll be selling some gear at skateandsurf and at a couple of these shows on the way out. tour never ends. for real go and listen to my friend ben's band, it's called Not Enough Gold. they smoke. our tour this summer is gonna be called "believers never die" get into it. sorry for all the pictures, this ain't my space biatch, send me some.

1 2 3 L U V!

- petey

April 26, 2004

so much has been going on. my head has been moving too fast, i can't catch up. clandestineindustries.com is up.

i've got a picture from skate and surf in new jersey. we will have more soon, excuse the quality. you can see how insane this room was.

[image here]

- petey

[hhuta]

every day i think about how they changed the le bien qui fait mal and l'assasinphonie choreography so salieri wasn't dancing close with sexy half naked men. do we know why. i have tried and failed to pinpoint an exact time. i feel like im going insane. they no homoed a dance

anon.. i think about that daily too... im so happy someone else loves the original choreos like i do 😭 it took me a while to reply cuz i was on a mission to answer ur questions as best as i could. so... finally... here is what i found out:

first of all if u wanna read my rant about the changes, in general, here are the posts about le bien qui fait mal and l'assasymphonie

second of all "do we know why" is a good question. meaning i dont have an answer dlkjaskl i just now started to learn french so if they ever talked about it in a video, or something... i missed it. so right away im telling u that i can only offer my guesses.

///

starting with LE BIEN QUI FAIT MAL, as i said in that post i linked, i tried to figure out whether they only degayed it for the 2011 proshot or not and i found out that no, the changes were also present in live performances.

then an anon told me massimiliano (the dancer who manhandles salieri) couldnt be at the 2011 proshot recording. i checked the video and he really wasnt there at all, but that still doesnt fully explain things, bc as u will see from my extensive, very professional research, unlike in the 2011 proshot, in live 2011 shows massimiliano was there, performing, in other parts of the musical. just not during lbqfm. i know he is an irreplaceable icon, so much that i couldnt find a single video where he wasnt the one manhandling salieri (even tho other dancers, from other parts of the choreo, kept switching), but to me its now clear that that was not the case. they really just decided to change the choreo.

so now lets see how it all progressed

for that its helpful to know the dates of mor performances. based on that i was insane enough to watch as many videos as i could to try to pinpoint when the choreo changed. except it wasnt that simple. i quickly found out that a loootttttt of other changes happened before that major one, before massimiliano left. so here it is

THE LBQFM CHOREO CHANGES I NOTICED

03.01.2010 last PDS performance, still the original

6, 26 february 2010 original

11 march 2010 original (massimiliano's skirt fell off 😭)

20 march 2010 original

8 may 2010 original

9 may 2010 not so much the original anymore. this is the first change i've noticed. @1:28 originally its a male dancer who bends back salieri and then there are 2 men and 2 women who .. idk how to describe it, but do that push and pull motion. here one of the guys is not there

(10, 11, 12 no performances)

13, 15, 16 may 2010 now the other guy is gone too, only women left (but the dancer is not really gone. im pretty sure hes there, doing another thing next to them)

(cannot find a video from the 17th, that was the last performance in lyon)

performances at zenith de saint etienne begin at the 21st but i couldnt find a video from it

22 may 2010 original again (sidenote salieri is really unhinged here)

27 may 2010 change. female dancer who's usually interacting with salieri during the first verses isnt there, just massimiliano. not sure if its the same woman who calls him during the bridge and moves him thru the dancers but anyways shes also not there, he walks around alone. so when the Climax happens, again, only massimiliano is there grabbing him

31 may 2010 and 6, 10, 13 and 19 june 2010 another change. the female dancer is back, but during "j'adore l'avoir dans la peau" usually there are two dancers next to him mimicking playing a harp with their bodies but not this time

now the dates that matter the most i cant find a single videeooo 🤡 which are the performances in limoges (25, 26 and 27 june 2010) so all i can say is that

3 july 2010 is the first time i could find that massimiliano wasnt there. aka the degayed choreo. but i cant say if it is the first. also the original choreo for the "j'adore..." part is back again. thats the only performance they did in nancy and its also the last tour performance from 2010. a bunch of people were at the curtain call, even albert cohen was there, so its very weird that massimiliano was absent. im so mad i couldnt find those videos from late june bc all i got is just one video of him not being there, which makes me think he just couldnt be there so they had to change the choreo

9 november 2010 they are back in PDS and its the original again (also this is just for me but he still has the original cravat here. im trying to kill two birds with one stone)

2 december 2010 original (salieris beautiful cravat is gone 😔but this is one of my fave videos)

5, 11 december 2010 still the original

12 december 2010 changes again 😭 "j'adore..." harp dancers are gone again

14 december 2010 they are back <3 (funny video bc mikelangelo forgets to give florent the score)

18 december 2010 NOW HERE ITS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING. a little change. massimiliano is there at the beginning, he drags salieri around but then hes gone before the first verse starts! and he doesnt come back !!! harp dancers are still there tho lmao

19 december 2010 massimiliano is fully gone 🎻 yamin even replaced him during la mascarade, like it happens in the 2011 proshot. i think since this date this change became the standard for a while, before they went back to the original. in the meantime, im guessing its when they shot the 2011 proshot

26 december 2010 still just the female dancer

4, 8 january 2011 still just the female dancer

9 january 2011 still just the female dancer but because it was the last performance in paris, before going on tour again, she has a whip for funsies. also they added, at the end, 2 female dancers sorta removing and quickly putting back salieris coat

28 january 2011 first tour performance, still just the female dancers. and i was not paying attention to this before, but i noticed for the first time in this video the 2 women dancing together, like they show for 2 seconds in the 2011 proshot. lesbian rights <3 i dont think it was part of the original choreo? its hard to tell exactly when they added that bc people usually record salieri, not the dancers, and hes not next to them when it happens (its before the bridge)

4, 5, 6 february 2011 still just the female dancer. but unlike before, this time (but idk exactly when it began) massimiliano was there for other parts of the show; yamin and other people didnt replace him (on the 4th: im pretty sure hes present in l'assasymphonie) (on the 5th: hes in la mascarade, le trublion, etc)

so. they really just changed it. massimiliano not being able to perform wasnt the case. we have to accept that they made a mistake <333 ldkajslk

19, 20, 27 february 2011 the original is back

19, also 19, 20, 23, 26 march 2011 it changed a little again but massimiliano is still there. no one bends salieri back and just one guy and one woman do the push and pull motion. also i think around here they removed the two women dancing together? maybe i just cant see it

20 mai 2011 original back once again

01 april 2011 .................... clearly an aprils fools joke bc massimiliano is gone again. i randomly picked this date cuz i knew it would be cursed dlkjaslk.. also again salieri doesnt get bent back and just 2 dancers do the push and pull... u knOW IT !!! WE GET IT !!!!! ok but i love him dramatically sighing and falling on the floor at @2:58 hes doing the most to make up for the flavour that got lost

03.06.2011 original again

12.06.2011 just massimiliano, no female dancer. im obsessseedddd with this video fully bc of the things massimiliano does!! obsessed with his evil smile @0:48, obsessed with salieri forgetting to throw the score on the floor, so massimiliano grabs it from his hand and forces him to kneel and stand up again. can u tell im a massimilianator and the choreo without him has no chance to please me?

17.06.2011 back to the original again

now im gonna skip to the very last performance from this production bc im honestly tired lkdajskl

10 july 2011 its the original thank god

TL;DR: 19 december 2010 is when the degayed choreo became the standard for a bit and on 19 february 2011 the original returns.

im confident that watching all those videos in a short period of time gave me brain damage but .. anything for science <3

ANYWAYS i started to do this to figure out why they changed It only to realise they changed A Lot of other things throughout performances (some things i didnt even mention, like the dance the woman does next to salieri during the first verse changes a lot) and they kept going back and forth to the original choreo. i think i can safely say not a single part (involving salieri) remained the same throughout the whole thing (not even the bending him back part was always there. i could swear it would be but!! no!). my guess is maybe because a certain dancer took a break or maybe they just wanted to do something different

in conclusion i figured out the exact dates but i cant tell u why massimiliano wasnt part of lbqfm for a while. i couldnt even find people talking about it on forums but, again, maybe bc im not fluent in french. to me it was a big loss, the whole thing loses its spice, i obviously prefer the original by miles. no idea why they simply didnt chose someone to replace him bc the other dancers changed all the time.

maybe it was in florents contract that only massimiliano was allowed to manhandle him <3 dlkjaslk im half kidding bc who knows? maybe it was a legal thing, maybe massimiliano invented this part of the choreo and only He could do it 😭 but honestly. my real final guess is that they simply wanted to change things to make it New and Fresh. as we saw, massimiliano leaving wasnt the only lbqfm choreo change.

///

moving on to L'ASSASYMPHONIE thank god bc it will be a lot easier to pinpoint when they changed the choreo. i believe they changed it and never went back to the original </3 god knows why </333 so when i find the new one ill stop looking

03.01.2010 last performance from "season one", at PDS (before going on tour) and also the last time they used the original choreo bUT ! THERES A BONUS! MORE MEN !!! LKDJALKS they said we will degay it later but u can have more naked men as a goodbye gift <3 really caught me by surprise, its the first time i watched it. but u wanna know whats really weird? this blurry shaky video is the only one i can find?! i even had to scroll a lot on youtube to get to it... conspiracy theory dove is trying to hide the original choreo. but honestly it makes no sense bc it was a Special day..... i cant find it anywhereee not even outside youtube... this is a hate crime. this is offensive. this is the heresy salieri sings about in the song.

the only thing i found was another performance from the same day but i think its the morning or afternoon performance and not the very last one. its for sure different than the one i linked first. i dont think there are 100 men onstage but at least we can see he had black nails 🥰 anyways... if anyone knows a better shot video of the very last performance... let me know... im really upsetklfdjalsjdal I FEEL SOOOO ROBBED...

and im even more mad now, remembering that from now on we get this new choreo. it began on their first tour

04.02.2010 2010 tour begins, first time we see the new choreo

and i have absolutely no idea why they changed it. again, i never saw an explanation and i dont have a single guess. i cannot imagine why they thought the new one was better. if i have to say one nice thing about it is that i like the background, the moving curtain that kinda looks like flames. they should absolutely drop the stupid flashing lights and just leave that background for the Cool effect and bRING BACK..... THE HALF NAKED BLINDFOLDED MEN (HNBM) ...........  THEY CAN REPRESENT SO MUCCHHHHHH... I LOVE THEM....

thats all i got to say otherwise ill start repeating myself.. if u wanna read more about my opinions on the hnbm and why i prefer the original l'assasymphonie choreo its all in the second link of this post..

anyways big thanks to anyone who read this, hope u enjoy all those videos. even with the dagayed choreos, florent and the dancers always deliver amazing performances. so, regardless, its a good time to watch them. lastly if anything is wrong, if i put down the wrong date or something, my bad, but it was .. a lot.. to go through, so if anyone sees a mistake let me know !

[happikattwuzheere]

was gonna try and do multiple characters in one post but nope! i have too much to say. also the pictures are all different sizes so its rly hard to get the photoset to look appealing, so we’re starting w/ blue. and also a colored pic of what adam looks like when he’s not a deer. boy’s tryin not to stand out. which goes great up for him right up until it doesn’t. lmao. i’ll talk a bit about him too w/ stuff that didnt get mentioned in the starter post about him and gansey, but this is mostly gonna be about blue. 

SO. 

there’s this fey entity, right? i don’t have a name for them, but they’re not...they didnt START the fey/human conflict, but they are benefiting from it, politically speaking? and when maura was younger, despite other witches being like “girl dont choose sides, we’re witches, we guard boundaries but we don’t choose sides,” was hotheaded and brash and went “ok but fuck that though” and one thing led to another and she ended up getting a curse on her firstborn. Oops. that’s where the kissing curse comes from, here; i’ll get into that much later in a text post probably but gansey’s survivor’s guilt thing doesnt come from him actually dying in this au it’s from something Else, but blue will still kill him if she kisses him, just, for different reasons, it’s an actual curse this time and not something to do with the nature of who they both are. 

her father’s still a tree light, but like, she actually knows that from the outset? because. they live in cabeswater. the tree lights are all around and accept her as one of their own even if she can’t turn into a tree, and as a result of that, she’s got some cool perks. 

a) extremely resistant and/or outright immune to a Lot of fey bullshit 

b) still boosts psychic energies and magical powers like in canon

c) the absolute safest person to be traveling in cabeswater ever, because the forest itself loves her, and also if you mess with her within the borders of cabeswater a bunch of tree lights will physically manifest and be like “hey buddy wanna think twice about that”

but she can’t use magic herself, still, which actually works in the favor of herself and the coven--witchcraft is in a sort of weird spot, culturally, where it’s both feared and often hated, but also understood to at times be necessary, especially by rural peoples like those of the village. im taking a very discworld spin on the witchcraft, because i love discworld and you can’t stop me, and so the attitude is, like. its frightening ancient magic and the church hates it but when there’s an emergency and someone’s on the border between life and death, or something is trying to pass into this world from another, etc etc etc, then you gotta suck it up and call on a witch because they’re the only ones who can deal with those things. so. the coven is tolerated, both because it’s too big and powerful to actually fight but also because it’s extremely needed when you live in a village right next door to fey lands. you NEED someone watching the border. however that doesn’t mean anyone wants to be seen publicly talking to a witch--but blue’s not a witch. she’s a witch’s daughter, but she’s not a witch herself, which is a step removed enough that she can go into town and run errands and also people will maybe pull her discretely aside and tell her if something’s coming up that the coven should know about, and it all works very neatly with her acting as a sort of liaison. very important role she plays, which is why gansey tries talking to her after his initial attempt to speak with the coven directly fails. 

speaking of the coven itself: i’ve been calling it the fox way coven, even tho it probably wouldn’t be called that because there’s no road called fox way that the coven is built on, it’s a big magic house out in the fairy forest, BUT they do have a fox theme because i love foxes and this is a gift i have been given. if people have familiars in this coven, they’re foxes rather than cats, because as wonderful as cats are u cant have them and foxes in the same house that will go bad. but also there’s a v small number of them, like maybe three or four total out of the much higher number of women living there, who are fey blooded like adam, but who become foxes rather than adam’s deer. persephone is one of these! (it’s worth noting the reason why they become the same animal is because of a combination of coincidence, intentional theming, and mostly just because like, virtually all of the residents there aside from persephone are related to either maura or calla) 

anyway the point is, because of this, blue’d seen enough feyblood transformations that when, one day when she was 9 or 10, on a visit to town, she saw the most distressed, disoriented fawn wobbling around frantically and was able to very quickly recognize that that was, in fact, a person who had probably turned into a deer for the first time, and responded by very calmly informing him that she knew who could help and leading him home. this is where those last two pictures come from, and how adam’s apprenticeship started. 

like, there was a lot of arguing from the witches immediately--of course we’re going to teach him how to become human again but we aren’t really going to take him on in the coven are we? he’s a boy, he’s some local kid we know nothing about, what happened to keeping it in the family, he’s the wrong animal and we’ve got a whole thing going on--at which point persephone parted everyone like the red sea, took one look at adam, went “mine now” and despite a lot of grumbling that was the end of it. she took him on a bit of a tour of cabeswater a few days later, after he’d had time to think it over, and he felt so drawn to the forest that he agreed to the apprenticeship.

so he’s technically persephone’s apprentice but like in actual practice he’s being taught by the entire coven lmao, ANYWAY

adam being adam also had a backup plan for trying to get out of the village--even at ten he figured witchcraft might be a first way out of there, he was already thinking about it, but by thirteen when the good ole abuse started (and at which point the last whispers of dissent died out very quickly amongst the coven, nope, adam is one of us now, do you want us to very threateningly hang out in your front yard sometime because we can do that--what do you mean no, let us do this,) he was also like. i dont think this is a guarantee of getting out of here i need a second job. and the thing is, as was mentioned in the original post, the fey blood also means adam’s got issues with iron; it’ll poison him if he’s stabbed with it but it also reacts to his skin touching it like a hot stove. he’s fine if there’s a layer between his skin and the iron, but if he touches it directly, it’s Bad. so ofc this headstrong idiot takes an open spot a t a metalworker’s in the village because adam is the king of making bad decisions. the witches have a betting pool on how long it’ll take him to out himself. “its fine i’ll wear gloves,” he says. “it’s the perfect disguise no one will expect someone with fey connections to work near so much iron,” he says. “i have everything perfectly under control,” he says.

anyway he totally forgets to wear gloves before grabbing an iron tool while his dad and his boss are both in the store and in clear view of him and that’s why he was getting chased by hunters when gansey rescued him 

also he and blue tried dating when they were like 13-14 and it ended about as badly as in canon and they made up later and by the time the story starts they’ve settled into very much being weird siblings. adam starts hanging out with gansey initially to try and basically spy on him, figure out why he’s here, but ends up rly liking the guy and deciding his reasons are sincerely to try and help people, and he tells this to blue who starts immediately accusing him of having a crush on the lordling and being a class traitor, because she does NOT like gansey at this point and really the nobility all prefer wizards to witches which is a stupid idiot decision and frankly the fact that this lordling is apparently enamored by some random deer is hilarious to her, but even moreso is the fact that adam actually defends the lordling to her, like, “wow adam its hilarious that the lordling’s friend thinks that you have charmed the lordling because from my perspective it looks the other way around” “shut uuuup you’re not listening im serious, like, yeah ok he put his foot in his mouth really hard when he talked to you but im telling you i dont think the whole i-wanna-understand thing is an act” “idk if i can trust you through those rose tinted glasses buddy. tell me again about that time he called you princely?” “oh my god” 

this is turning into rambling but. thats the gist of the witches and blue esp thank u for coming if u made it this far here’s a bonus persephone fox 

[naptoons]

Broken- Erick Colon

Warnings: verbal fights, cursing.

Theme: Angst

Summary: you and Erick thought getting together would be great, you guys liked each other since you were in middle school. But never told each other, you’ve dated other people and now y’all are broken. So broken that the relationship becomes toxic.

A/N: I apologize for all the angst buttttt yah girl ain’t feeling the fluffs at the moment, I’ve been in a very let down mood so i apologize. But enjoy!!!

Proofread? : no.

Being in love with Erick consisted of bricking, kissing and makeup sex. Then back to yelling at each other and making each other mad. Loving each other started to become a chore. The push and pull of wanting to and being scared. You both thought this relationship would save you both. But y’all are far to broken for each other.

“She was all up on you Erick!!, did you not notice or you just dont fucking care?!” You yell at him for the fourth time this week, because he was so nice he couldn’t notice his friend was being too flirty, even though she knew you guys were together and you were standing obviously right there. “Y/n?” He sighs “how many fucking times do I have to tell you shes a friend?!” “ friends?! To be all cuddled up in you like that?!” “I don’t understand why you’re so fucking pissed about it y/n I’m with you for fuck sakes!” Erick huffs walking over to the sofa, you stand on the wall apart from him, fighting the urge to block his view of the tv, you weren’t done with him, cause he doesn’t seem to understand how this friend of his has a crush on him, to make matters worse it’s an ex.

“You’re probably fucking her that’s why you don’t care” you mumble with your arms crossed Erick’s leg bounces up and down trying to calm himself down, he was angry at how big of a scene you made at the party, you had leaped over the arms of Richard and Joel, pulling her hair down to the floor as you got a couple of hits in, to make matters even bigger you threw a drink at her. “Y/n-please I’m done arguing with you” he demands through gritted teeth.

“Well are you? Are you cheating on me?” You ponder, Erick doesn’t answer instead he drinks water from the glass “of course you would go back to ex, she’s everything I’m not Huh?”

“How ment times i Gotta tell your she’s just a friend?!” He yells at you standing up and throwing a glass cup close to you, your body shutters in fear. You’d never thought these arguments would result to you guys putting your hands in each other. The impact of that throw just shattered all over your foot.

“Baby—“ he shutters before two members come in, Richard and Chris looking at Erick, one in anger and one in utter shock

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Richard yells at him, walking towards him Chris grabs your arm softly moving you out the way of the shattered glass. Joel and zabdiel turn around the corner looking at your cut feet, Joel lifts you up bridal style to take care of the glass in your foot.

Joel sits you on the sink grabbing the first aid kit, he sees your somber mood, your eyes look so distraught and scared, Joel swallowed the lump in his throat thinking how he can advert your attention from what just occurred. “Hey you wanna go grab some frosty’s? Or do you want McDonald’s milkshake?”

“If their machine works” you dryly joke

“True,” he laughs a little “so what do you want? Or do you want both?”

“I want spicy nuggets and a frosty, maybe a McDonald’s caramel sundae”

“Orders up” Joel smiles, “Cmon lets go”

Sitting on the grass, you pick at your frosty slowly turning it into a milkshake anyways, Joel notices how you’re spacing out so he rubs your back softly “do you need space?”

“No, cause when I’m alone I don’t know what I might start thinking, or doing”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Joel whispers, as if theirs someone following you guys.

“I’m a mess Joel, a broken mess and I knew this all to well, I knew this before I dated him, my last two relationships were scarring, one was verbally abusive, and the other cheated, I don’t know why I thought Erick would save me, I should’ve never jumped into this relationship—" your voice cracked

“If I knew I wasn’t ready” you barely finished, but Joel caught every vowel and Constant. “I fuck up every relationship I have”

“Hey no, that’s not true, listen those guys they fucked up the relationship to not even consider how you felt, because love shouldn’t be difficult, love is when you’re so terrified of hurting the other person, of they loved you they wouldn’t have dare to break you”

“Is love constantly arguing?”

“It is if you’re arguing about something that could potentially cause you guys to separate, that means both of you are scared, and sometimes it’s a defensive mechanism because you don’t want another relationship to turn out as the last”

“Arguments are nothing but miscommunication gone wrong” Joel hums at the end “and when that happens neither party is listening, it’s just pain talking” drinking the frosty from your cup you nod your head. Yeah, it makes sense now, neither of you guys are communicating because you both are scared of your bruises resurfacing, so instead of flight, you fight instead. It’s just pain on top of pain.

“So if you want, take a break think it over, do you love him? and is it worth the wait for you guys to heal?”

“Are you saying we’re together at the wrong time?”

“No, love has no time, and it surely doesn’t wait either, I’m just saying healing takes a while, but you can still be together and heal too, communication is one form of healing” he bumps your shoulder softly

“Wow, you really do give out great advice”

“If I did, id be with my ex right now, I’m just trying to prevent you from making the same mistake”

“Thanks Joel”

It’s been four weeks since you saw Erick, you were trying to give yourself and him enough breathing room to think about your relationship. And not only that but to discover who you are within yourself. ”now or never right?” You ask yourself standing in front of their house, ringing the doorbell you Yep your foot on the welcome mat. “Aw fuck it I can’t do this” just as your about to turn around the door swings open, and there he was. Even after all these weeks, he still gave your butterflies, and your cheeks rose in color.

“Hey” he starts off softly

“Hey-um can we talk?” You ask fiddling with your bracelet, it was the bracelet he bought you back from touring, with every stop they had you always remembered to buy you a souvenir. Since you couldn’t travel along with him cause of school.

“Yeah of course come in” you walk in the house, following Erick to his room, sitting in the bed he sits across from you giving you enough space so you’re not uncomfortable or scared. He’d never want to see you make that face, specially on his accord.

“So I’ve been thinking, that we’ve been having way to many fights, this break we had from each other was much needed” you look to see ericks head looking down at his hands , his body looked so stiff and somber, he didn’t seem like himself. “But, I know that I still love you and I have so much growth for myself, I have a lot of room to improve, so just know it’s not your fault, nor is it mine, and it’s not our exes fault either, we don’t get to choose how or when we get hurt in this world, but we get to choose how we deal with the pain, and we both chose poorly” you turn your body fully towards him.

Erick looked like he hasn’t been motivated to do anything for these past weeks, you had hoped he’d be taking care of himself like you did, but this hit him in a different way. “Hey Erick, I’m not mad at you, I’m disappointed in you nor am I upset with you, I know you didn’t mean it, it was just fear talking so dont-“

“How you can you forgive someone that almost threw glass at you? How can you love someone that argued with you until they pushed you away? How can you even for a second, still love me after all the pain I’ve gave you?” Erick finally looks at you, his eyes drowning in every negative emotion you can think of. “Y/n you don’t deserve the repeat of opening and closing so much, you deserve to be happy, you deserve someone who is there twenty-four-seven, you deserve someone man enough to actually listen and value what you say, because all I did in that relationship was made you cry alone countless nights, and gave you more problems then I was worth, y/n you really are an angel, and I can’t drag you down for being stuck in the past”

You stood up from the bed still eyes laid on Erick, you stood in front of him removing his hand from his face. He looks up at you shocked and dazed. He was wondering why are you still here? How could you even look at him? “Listen, I’m not going to force you into a relationship if that’s not what you want but listen to me carefully” you pause for his answer

“Okay” he lets out an unsteady answer

“Erick, remember when I told you that even if you were a shattered glass house I would still pick you up and rebuild you?” You ask him

“Yeah” his voice simmer down slowly

“I didn’t make that promise because you were my friend, I made that promise because I know what type of person you are, Erick you’re the most wholehearted, passionate and charming man I’ve ever been with, so why the hell would I ever stop loving a person like that?”

Erick gazes at you again his breath stuck in a tight air bubble, “Erick, yeah you scared me that day, but what made me scared wasn’t the glass, it was that we couldn’t help or understand each other, so I thought I would lose you, I can’t pretend that day didn’t happen, but I’m willing to heal it, to heal us, only if you want too” you kiss his knuckles softly. You missed the way his hands fit into yours, the way he would rub circles on your inner thigh when he was driving. The crinkle in his nose when you pull out the awful dad jokes.

You missed him.

“I’m willing to try too, I love you” Erick stands up hovering over you just by a couple inches “you look beautiful by the way” he caresses your cheek In one hand, while the other holds your waist.

“You idiot, my cheeks and eyes are swollen but I’m beautiful?” You punch him softly

“Always beautiful the hell you mean?” He furrows his eyebrows, “your as beautiful as the moon dancing across the water” you giggle with a slight blush tint from ear to ear, luckily it was dark in his room, next thing you knew Erick pressed his lips on yours, passionately he softly laid your back on the bed and hovered over you.

We had to save ourselves. In order to save our relationship.

[crue6xx]

Special Girl

[Nikki×reader]

-------------------------------------------------

Warning:smut, cursing

Type:Smut/Fluffy

Word count:1653 way more now oof

Nikki and the guys are doing something special, and you get totally surprised.

--------------------------------------------------

Thursday

Today you woke up and Nikki wasn't in bed, you lie down and wait for him, suddenly Nikki swung through the door "hey baby, wanna go to the Rainbow for breakfast" Nikki said smiling and happy, you smiled and got ready for the day.

You hopped in the car with Vince driving, tommy in the back with Nikki and Mick in the front passengers side, you notice Nikki cant help but smile and is holding back giggles you dont pressure him about it though.

After you guys ordered, you looked out the window in the reflection something caught yours eyes, your jaw clenched and your hand tight , eyes wide open, you saw the waitress bent down to a position so Nikki could whisper into her ear, than he slipped her a $10.

You were about to get up and drag Nikki behind the Rainbow and yell at him, but just before you could even finish through what you were gonna do you heard singing and tambourines, Nikki had a giant smile as the waitress put a cake on the table while she sung happy birthday, "happy birthday baby!"

You smiled like an idiot, you ate cake with the guys and talked about how surprised you are "I didn't expect a thing" you said laughing.

Nikki fed you a piece of cake, you soon finished up at the Rainbow, thanking the waitress. When you got home you and Nikki snuggled and cuddled on the couch while watching a movie, you both fell asleep on the couch.

Friday

You wake up and immediately smell pancakes, bacon, and grits Nikki is shirtless halfway covered by the sheets and is propped on his elbow, "morning baby" Nikki smiled, you look at the bed and see a breakfast in bed tray in between you with two plates of breakfast for you and Nikki, "I'll put something on" Nikki said softly as he grabbed the remote and put on your favorite show.

You spent the day going around with Nikki to random places you picked, and Tommy followed along making it extra funny and with Mick's random expressions and sarcasticness, Vince randomly was here then there and gone and back.

Nikki bought you flowers and clothes you wanted, you didn't spend too much because you didn't just want his money.

Saturday

Nikki was up at night planning, soon to be you would have your fun. You woke up with Nikki wrapped around your body

"Nikki" lightly moving his arm over to his chest and then kissing his cheek he woke up a little bit "love you" Nikki groaned, you smiled "ok Nikki go back to sleep".

Later on when you all were awake, Nikki had told you dress in something comfortable but nice, you wondered why.

"Woah" Nikki said as you walked in the room wearing red pants that werent to tight but definitely showed your curves they looked like leather but it was stretchy, your shirt was a loose tank top reading "BAD BOYS" and a red symbol in the middle reading "Mötley Crüe" with a white strip through the middle saying "girls girls girls" and the bottom saying "HOLLYWOOD CA".

Nikki was on the couch wearing a leather jacket with a black tank top yes again saying "Suck It" with a black and white bandana around his neck and leather pants.

You Nikki and the guys drove out to one of the bands best friends who at the time worked at Elektra records and had a decked out mansion.

When you pulled up there were many cars parked literally everywhere, people inside and outside all over the place, in the pool, bushes like no kidding, "Nikki!" Some guy says walking up to Nikki with his hand out "yo haven't seen you in a bit" they talked a bit until he turned to you "hi I'm Markus, with a K" you guys shook hands.

"Hey come look at this" he lead you 2 through the crowd in the living room which yes had a real dance floor that lit up, Mick was on the couch talking to some girl Vince was probably getting a blow job somewhere and Tommy was showing his swimming skills off until he got water up his nose.

Markus brought you guys up to the balcony of the master bedroom that peered down on the living room, a balcony inside the house wow this is nice you thought, suddenly you saw random guys looking at eachother like there is some sort of que.

Markus nodded to the Dj and the Dj nodded to some other guy passing it arond the house and outside until basically everyone was inside the house and Markus nodded to one other guy and got off the balcony "HAAPY BIRTHDAY (Y/N)" everyone screamed and shouted popping tiny trinkets and confetti and fog machines went off.

After that quick rush of excitement and thrill things got a bit calm and "without you" started to play, Nikki got on one knee and pulled out a tiny black box with a skull and bones on the top, "(y/n) I love you so Damn much, always have always will, and I knew since the day we met you were gonna be the one never got away, so (y/n) the love of my life will you marry me" Nikki opened the box to a shiny diamond ring with a small red gem inside that glowed in the light and on the bottom of the ring read "special girl" you started to tear up and cover your mouth "OH MY GOD NIKKI! YES YES ONE MILLION TIMES YES OH MY GOD" you practically jumped up and down. Nikki placed the ring on your finger and moved the ring from his right hand to his left hand ring finger.

You both kissed passionately and soft but a bit rough, his lips meet yours as you put your hands on his cheeks as he put his arms over your shoulder.

"This is why your my special girl" he said softly in your ear

You both got off the balcony of the master bed room that was inside, the music changed to "same ol' situation" you talked to people and had some drinks.

"Wow Nikki" Tommy said just starring in disbelief Mick patted Nikki on the back and hugged him, "alright my man" Vince said all gathering around you and Nikki "that's a awesome ring (y/n)" Tommy looked at you smiling.

After all the people talked "without you" started up again and you and Nikki got on the dance floor.

Nikki had his forehead on yours as his arms were over your shoulders swaying to the music as Nikki synced these lyrics to the song "without you in my life i'd slowly wilt and die but with you by side your the reason I'm alive". You kissed Nikki softly he looked you in the eyes "Your my special girl and I love you so god damn much" Nikki kissed your neck as the song came to a nice mellow end lining up perfectly with Nikkis proposal of love to you.

"don't go away mad (just go away)" played and you turned around Nikki put his arms around your waist as you swayed he pressed into you a bit and you could feel the massive bulge he has been keeping in for about 2 maybe 3 hours now that had pressed into the curve of your ass perfectly, warm and stiff, you could feel him throbbing through his leather pants "damn Nikki, your hard".

Nikki smiled "I've been starring at you for half the night even kissing you could easily get me off"

You turned around "I'm gonna get a drink" you kissed him on the cheek, Nikki nodded "hey Markus thanks for letting us use your house" Nikki thanked Markus "nah man any time no problem" Markus happily explained.

"Ya think I could use the master bedroom?" Nikki asked "yeah but your cleaning the sheets" Markus joked with Nikki, You came back to the dance floor and looked around "hey Markus where is Nikki" you kind of had to shout cuz of the music "I'm pretty sure he's in the master bedroom" Markus said as he took a shot.

You headed up to the Master bedroom, you opened the door and Nikki was on the outside balcony drinking looking at the palm trees, "hey Nikki" you came up in front of him "I was thinking about what went on on the dance floor, wanna deal with it?"" you said stroking his chest Nikki kissed you "hey baby".

You kissed him back, you started to get into a rough make out session he squeezed your ass as you pushed into his bulge with Nikkis hot breath leaving hickeys and a trail of kisses down your neck, Nikki kissed you on the way to the bed, you pushed Nikki onto the bed Nikki took off his tank top as you unbuckled his pants and dropped his pants down to his ankles, his pre-cum dripping onto his leg and covering his tip fully dripping on the sides, you suck his tip slowly taking all of his pre-cum in tour mouth, and licking the sides slowly and to the top then taking him in whole his tip pressing against the back of your throat.

As you sucked him off, he slid his hand down your pants into your panties and rubbed your clit, he could feel how wet you were, he flipped you onto the bed and pulled off your shirt, you unclipped your bra as Nikki took off your pants and panties.

He put you on his lap as he kissed you slow but a delicious needing desire of affection, he pumped into you 5 times, you wrapped your legs aeound his waist as he flipped you on your back in the bed.

Nikki easily slid into you, "shit, Nikki" you moaned with your head back and eyes closed, Nikki just hovered over you cursing and clenching his fists in the bed railing you hard and fast "Fuck baby, your so Damn wet"

Nikki started to rub your clit while fucking you mercilessly in and out fast and hard, your grip tightened on the sheets as he would come out slightly so his tip rubs your clit every other second, teasing you and licking his lips, with his hips bucking faster into you with his every thrust making your legs quiver in pleasure, "my fucking special girl, yeah whos my special girl" Nikki demandingy asked, you tried to speak but couldn't Nikki thrusted into you harder as he groaned oh "who my special girl huh?", "me Nikki, fuck Nikki, me".

Nikki was about to break, and you were reaching your breaking point as well, "Shit babe, im gnna cum....Fuck in gonna cum all inside you baby" Nikki moaned loudly you finally hit your orgasm, Nikki still finishing as you felt a warm thickish liquid drip from you, Nikki lied down beside you before he got up to rinse off for a 30 second shower, and got ready.

When you both were ready, you went downstairs and it was quite obvious what you were doing but you ate dinner and went back upstairs to cuddle spoon and snuggle to sleep.

[b-ap]

[181117] B.A.P Forever Tour in Philadelphia - Highlight of my Life

This was really one of the best concerts I’ve ever gone to. Despite being skeptical of JSJ from the beginning, I was still willing to risk it and buy the tickets. I was debating for a while to drop $400 or not for m&g but when you think about it, it was only $30 per photo with each of the boys (+ a hat, hoodie, and whistle) so that’s HELLA worth it.  So I dropped nearly $600 for this concert but for real it was SO worth it. I was even willing to go down by bus all by myself and possibly wandering the streets of philly late at night for it but luckily was able to catch a ride! 

These two BABYz gave out numbers from the very beginning like they marked down if you were plat or baby package and in the end JSJ and fans actually honored them! It was really great cuz we were able to leave the line to go to the bathroom or get food! BABYz around me were so nice and friendly too ;u; When it was time to go in to soundcheck and for the concert, we all actually got in order! It was REALLY nice like wow thank you philly babyz!! We were let in a little late for soundcheck cuz apparently bap was doing some kind of interview?? As for soundcheck, it was sooOOOoooOOO good!!! They kinda mixed up plat and baby but oh well whatever I still got like 3rd row so *^* WOOHOO! The stage was up really high and the venue was quite small, but philly crowd’s passion was explosive and powerful!! At the beginning of soundcheck Zelo kept like peeking out from the backstage door *^* they were ODing the fog machine so you could only see silhouettes at the door sometimes OTL. Daehyun was the first to come out! He came in this big puffer jacket and had earphones and and was smiling so cutely!! That wonderful wonderful kitty smile!! OH MY HEART PLEASE HAVE MERCY!! And then the others came out! <3 Zelo was wearing like PJ pants lmao the same one he wore in that IG pic of him in the truck, jongup was wearing leather (i think.....), himchan wore the tour hoodie, and youngjae wore a long coat. BUT YEAH the first song they did was TMJ and the crowd was hella LIT!!! Like everyone was singing their lungs out and jumping and being really really excited! We all started jamming out hardcore at the very first note of TMJ and I just knew it was about to be epic. BAP was sooo happy!! They really enjoyed it as well!  And then they did DWIF and omfg daehyun was soooo cute cuz we were so loud during the OH!! part that he was like :O!!!!! and gave us two thumbs up!! The others were really happy too!! And then Zelo was controlling the crowd with his hands LOL like he was making us go side to side like a wave and then jongup was doing this weird dance too lmaooo we hyped up each other so much! It was soo much fun ;A; too bad we couldn’t record but JSJ got a ( video )~!! Like just listen to BABYz singing along at the beginning!! ( dh shocked at 0:41, thumbs up at 0:51)

We had to go back outside again after the concert and that’s when the line got a little messy since now there was also GA peeps and the sidewalk is only so big to fit like 3 different lines. But it worked out in the end and we got in order!! AND YA GIRL GOT FCKN 2ND ROW HEEEEEEEEELLLL YEAHH!! I had a GREAT view!! There was actually quite a lot of space and like NO pushing!! (except this one bishhhh but whatever that’s another story -.- i’ll delete her from my memory) But wow pit was fCKN great like wow the fanchants!! The whistles!! NO PUSHING!! LIKE WHAT WOOOW I LOVE YOU (this was an all standing venue btw). When we were waiting for the concert to start, they played a bunch of their songs and everyone was scream-singing the lyrics (well more like trying to LOL we can’t korean) We had our own bap concert with an empty stage lmaooo 

AND AHHHH BAP WAS SOOOO GOOD AT FANSERVICE!!! Himchan noticed me like several times i fucking cRy!! He looked and waved at mee TWICE and like gestured to focus on zelo for recording and taking pics when it was his part AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Like last year he saw me struggling in pit (cuz that was HELL) and looked worried I CRY and he smiled at me too huuuhuuu himchan youre a fckn angel I LOVE YOU!!! I made a half heart at daehyun and hE FCKN COMPLETED IT I WAS ABOUT TO FCKN DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!! JOngup threw so many hearts and kisses at the crowd and youngjae blew so many kisses!! They were waving as much as possible to fans and daehyun, bless his heart, kept saying thank you!!thank you!! at any chance he could get!

During Q&A, bap spent the longest time arguing about harry potter houses pmsl and then yj was just like idk i never watched it (shame on you bro) and then himchan was like EXPECTRO PATRONUM!! (nerrRRRddddd). Jongup said he was fckn Dobby like bruH thats not even a house!!! YJ was like forget this!! and said, “PASS!!” Himchan said that he was Slytherin and then jongup said that Himchan would be fkcn Snape and did this dramatic coat sweeping straightening up his back thing LOL so himchan said Jongup would be a muggle pmsl Zelo did like a broom riding imitation??? irdk.... Next question was what was your favorite song that you’ve ever made. Jongup answered Photo and sang a little of it (so then where is the studio version biiSHHHhh) but lol BABYz were like SEXY CLAP!!!!!! Youngjae pulled out a question, looked at it and was like NOPE! and put it back pmsl! The next question was what tricks can Mochii do and then youngjae was frckn like body slamming zelo and jongup lmaooo. Zelo was sooooo cute he was telling the story of how Mochii bit in all in English!! He said how he was eating and was struggling to explain that Mochii was under the table so BABYz were helping him! He said that he dropped cheese and then Mochii went to eat it but Zelo tried to stop him. Mochii bit and and then Zelo was like “ooh! bloood! my dog is ...wildlife” but the way he said blood was soo cute like the oo in moon instead of “blud”  This sweet precious boy!! His English was so good!!!! The next question was to sing happy birthday to a BABY named Jenny (wow you LUCKY girl im sooo jelly omfg). So Zelo sings her hbd really dramatically lmao and they give her their sweaty towel and Zelo gave her a water bottle too!! They’re so sweet!!!!!!! 

During their other talk segment, Youngjae was like since our tour in america, philly has been the most passionate! So we all SCREAMED and cheered like crazy! Daehyun was like hold up!! AGAIN! and went to grab a phone. He made us all scream and cheer again so he could record it. The boys kept gesturing to scream louder and more and were totally enjoying the cheers! I hope we conveyed our love for them well enough!! Also Daehyun release that footage soon pls!!! He told us we did a good job screaming lmaoo! Youngjae kept making sounds for us to repeat lmao like ooOOoooo (idk how to describe it LOL) and then was like “maestro!” when trying to silence us with his fingers like a conductor LOL but we kept screaming things LOL someone was like “this is my first kpop concert!!” so youngjae was like “sounds good!” and gave a thumbs up. Jongup also did the conductor thing hahahah Daehyun promised to come back again next year and I REALLY REALLY hope that they do!!!! 

The solos were beyond amazing. Like rewatching youngjae and daehyun’s solos made me tear up like how do such beautiful voices exist in this world? Did I really hear those ethereal voices in real life? It was sooo mesmerizing and breathtaking! Youngjae’s gorgeous baritone voice singing that smooth ballad huuuhuuu my heEArt!!! Daehyun’s heartwrenchingly beautiful voice, song, and lyrics wow let me just lie down and drown in my tears rn bYE! DaeUp’s duet was so cool, Jongup’s TML was perfect as usual, Zelo’s solo was sinful oh my those hip and that peach *blushes* it was suuuper fun and Zelo enjoyed it a LOT too!!! He lifted up his shirt!! 

THEN IT WAS M&G TIME!!! They set up the background right in front of the stage. We lined up to go in and bap was standing like: jongup, youngjae, daehyun, himchan, zelo! It was plat individual photos first, then baby group + hi-touch, then plat group + hi-touch. BABYz really went for it!! Like a lot of us got hugs! We were able to watch the whole m&g but they didnt let us have our phones out ;A; (and I also had used up all 6.5 GB of space on my phone OTL) BAP were SOOOOOOOO sweet UGH we stan literal ANGELS!! They love BABYz so fricken much!! JSJ was sooo nice to allow a lot of fan interactions AHHHHHHHH BAP did a lot of cute poses and played around with BABYz! LEt mE TELL YOU THAT BAP IS SERIOUSLY SOOOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME, GORGEOUS, STUNNING, MESMERIZING, UP CLOSE HOW DID MY HEART EVEN SURVIVE?????? I GOT TO BEAR HUG EVERYONEEEE THEYRE ALL SO TALL AND IM HELLA SMOL SO THEY HAD TO SQUAT DOWN FOR ME HUUHUU THYE LIKE PATTED MY BACK DURING THE HUGS TOO AHHHHHH WE HAD A DECENT AMOUNT OF TIME WITH ALL OF THEM!!! I TOLD DAEHYUN I SAW HIM IN KOREA IN ASU AND HE WAS LIKE OOOOOH THANK YOU!!! CURSES TO MY TINY AF VOICE CUZ I DONT THINK THEY ALL EVEN REALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID SOMETIMES!!! I told Zelo he was too tall for me lmaooo I really wanna see how much he had to bend down for me! I seriously wished that my m&g was recorded but :((((((((((( After my m&g I legit squealed and hugged my friend lmao but the staff yelled at us for being too loud LMAO BUT GIRL WE JUST HUGGED FCKN KINGS LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We tried to contain ourselves as much as possible LOL Daehyun said thank you out loud to a lot of BABYz after their m&g! Zelo kept dabbing at BABYz lmaooo a lot of them didnt notice tho cuz he would do it after they had already passed him HAHAHA when it was my hi-touch I dabbed at Zelo hahah and he dabbed back :D I wanted to get a group hug from them but i got too excited and FUCKING FORGOT to ask for a group hug *kicks myself* Now I wish I had written my name on a name tag (like “HI I’M JUNIE”) and hope they wouldve said “HI JUNIE”  but I didnt OTL 

I really wish I could relive the whole day. I wish I was able to record my m&g and got a group hug or them to say my name or I had said something more to them but it’s ok my heart is very very happy and I love bap soo much. My 7 year love for them continues and I will really love them forever. Let’s meet again soon, my loves! I’m looking forward to then~! 

[skeletonscribbles]

Wishes - Ch. 2

she promises, she delivers. this is the Mike Hanlon chapter which means it is Blessed. I think I got everyone on this taglist but if I missed someone lmk I’m a little outta my head atm

Rating: M, eventually. G right now, except for cursing. Pairings: Reddie, Stan/Bill/Mike, Benverly WC: like 3k? idk math Summary:

you know what tumblr there was gonna be a summary here but since you keep fucking up my apostrophes ive decided you dont deserve it

Other: Martin Short is actually a blessing dont listen to Mike

Chapter 1 / Read on Ao3

Tag List: @roobarrtrashmouth @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @tozier-club @aizeninlefox @stanheartsbill @latinxrichie @softeds @pretzelstoday @melancholypurple @wheezygreens @ayyyymichele @loser-marsh

MIKE HANLON - KIDCOT STATION AT THE CANADA PAVILION, EPCOT CENTER THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8TH 6:55 P.M.

There were two hours and five minutes until the Epcot fireworks show began, signalling the imminent close of the park, which meant there were three hours and five minutes until Mike Hanlon could finally clock out.

Not that he was counting, of course.

Sighing, he shifted in his seat at the Canada KidCot station. He’d been scheduled for an afternoon 8 hour shift, 11 to 7, but they’d asked for someone to extend because they were short-staffed and he apparently couldn’t help himself. He agreed to work until close, which was an extra three hours. Normally, he wouldn’t be phased by that, but he was bone tired today. He’d been up late with his Imagineer roommate, poring over plans and ideas for Star Wars.

He should have known better. No amount of arguing for Lando Calrissian or Finn was going to make Bob Iger, the CEO of the company, less racist, which meant that there was little to no hope for representation in the new Star Wars World. His roommate Ben had tried to warn him, but he’d pushed the issue anyway, feeling restless and irritated that he worked for a company that didn’t value people like him.

Now, he was paying the price. He stifled a yawn as a mother with two children hustled them by his table - he would kill for someone to actually talk to, but he wasn’t the type to hustle people over to him Gaston-style. (The Magic Kingdom Gaston was notorious for cat-calling girls, which Mike supposed was in character...but it was deeply unsettling to watch.)

Sighing, Mike picked up a marker and began to color one of the Duffy* drawings at his station. As bored as he was, he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Disney, for all its flaws, was more of a home for him than Canada had ever been, and KidCot was his favorite rotation. He loved telling stories and teaching kids about his home country - he loved teaching.

He loved Canada, too...it was his home, after all, but it had never been freeing for him like Florida had. Home came with expectations - from his peers, from his teachers, and most of all, from his parents.

Mike loved his parents, but he was definitely not the son they needed. He had no interest in hanging around and taking over the farm. His dreams were bigger than that.

His parents, for their part, had totally supported his move...at their own expense. He felt guilty about that sometimes, but he had a feeling that all three of them knew, in their hearts, that it was the right choice for Mike to go.

He’d come to Disney World because he hadn’t known where else to go. Disney had a work program for international students that promised to give him opportunities to connect with people around the world, and that promise had really appealed to 21 year-old Mike Hanlon. It had been the right choice, definitely - his first three months at Star Tours had been like a dream. He got to talk Star Wars all day, he got to choose Rebel Spies**, the ride wasn’t that complicated, and he hadn’t had to slog all the way around the perimeter of Hollywood Studios to get to his attraction like the Tower of Terror bellhops did. (There had to be a more efficient way of moving around backstage, and someday, Mike imagined they’d invent it, but for the time being, it was long walks and bikes over at Studios.) All in all, it had been a perfect fit for him.

Then, he had three months doing outdoor vending (ODV) at Studios, and that was...less exciting, to say the least. ODV was hot, sweaty work, and the guests that wanted popcorn or pretzels or light-up Mickey ears were usually tired, hungry, and cranky (and sometimes racist). Still, that was manageable, especially when he got into the groove of Fantasmic shifts. In fact, he still picked up Fantasmic shifts from time to time, for nostalgia’s sake.

After that, his program was over, but he didn’t feel ready to do something else, so he went to Casting to see about applying for a more regular job (and what he would have to do to renew his US work visa). The only full-time position they had to offer him was in the Canada Pavilion, so that’s where he was for the time being. It wasn’t ideal (he was putting in to transfer back to attractions as soon as he was able), but he’d gotten that temporary worker visa for it, so he had no choice but to make it work. So far, the only thing that had been completely ruined for him was Martin Short movies, because after watching the Martin Short ‘O Canada’ film a thousand and twelve times per work shift, he’d sooner die than watch Three Amigos ever again in his life. (He considered himself extremely lucky to have found the roommate that he did via the CM Housing Facebook page, but if Ben put on Father of the Bride one more time, Mike was going to kick him out immediately and permanently.)

Mike finished coloring his Duffy and looked around. There were no kids anywhere in sight. It was around dinner time, and the Canada pavilion wasn’t a highly popular family destination to begin with, so Mike was going to be alone for a long while, people-watching as young hipster couples walked by with Disney shopping bags full of maple syrup and plaid clothes.

He was so zoned out, he almost missed the two attractive men that were walking out of a shop and towards him.

Now, Mike had spent quite a bit of time coming to terms with his sexual identity. His father extremely traditional - which was not to say close-minded, but there was just no opportunity for exploration on the farm. It wouldn’t have made sense.

Disney was on the extreme opposite end of that spectrum. A huge percentage of male Cast Members were gay, and for the first time, Mike had the opportunity to consider his own feelings.

As it turned out, he was pretty equally interested in men and women. He’d had a couple of short relationships during his time in the States with people of both genders, and they’d all been pretty nice...just, not lasting, and none of the people he had dated had been as compelling as the two men - a redhead and a boy with light brown curls, he could see now - that were walking his way.

It was a bit disconcerting, actually. Mike usually wasn’t attracted to white people (they were so entitled and pasty), but there was something almost cosmic about these two. It felt like the universe calling.

Before they got close enough to see him, Light Brown Curls stopped and turned to the redhead, holding up a Disney bag and smirking. The redhead blushed and grabbed for the bag, but Curls swiftly moved it behind his back. They began to engage in a game of keep-away. Mike was mesmerized.

“You trying to stamp their passports?” Mike jumped at the sound of a leering female voice, and almost fell out of his chair. “If you know what I mean?”

“Ma’am, I---” he began, turning to look at the perpetrator and stopping short when he saw her pretty green eyes. “Huh?”

She laughed prettily. “The ginger making an idiot of himself is named Bill. He works Guest Relations over at MK, and he’s been super hung up on these two guys he saw in passing in the Boardwalk slash Epcot area recently. Classic pining gay.”

Mike looked back over at the two men. The ginger (Bill) had retrieved his bag, and was waving it in front of Curls’ face. Curls seemed unimpressed.

“Is the skinny brunette boy one of the guys Bill was pining over?” Mike guessed, watching the bounce of the haughty man’s curls.

“Yep,” said the girl, joining Mike in looking over. “His name’s Stan, apparently. He’s a front desk coordinator over at Yacht, because of course he is. Everyone at Yacht is so fucking put together. Pardon my French.”

“It’s a relief to hear cursing every once in a while,” Mike admitted. “It can’t be princesses and rainbows all the time.”

The girl nodded appreciatively. “I like your style. I’m Beverly. I work in costuming over at MK.”

“Oh, word.” Mike stuck out a hand for her to shake. She took it, and he was immediately impressed by the subtle strength in her grip. “I’m Mike. You wanna learn about Canada?”

“At some point,” Beverly said, smiling amusedly. “Right now, though, I’m trying to play matchmaker.”

Mike squinted at her, confused. “Aren’t your friends already together, though? I thought you were just third-wheeling.”

“Fourth-wheeling, if all goes to plan.” Beverly waggled her eyebrows. “Weren’t you wondering who else Bill has a crush on around here? I did say that he was pining over two guys.”

Mike’s stomach lurched. Pretty boys weren’t generally in the business of looking Mike Hanlon’s way...unless he was reading the whole thing wrong?

“No, but there’s already...they’re already….” Mike protested weakly, hoping his assumptions were correct. “I couldn’t intrude.”

Beverly shrugged her freckled shoulders, looking down nonchalantly. “Two’s an arbitrary number, bud. You can do whatever you want.”

The boys’ eyes were on Mike, now - they must have noticed him talking to their friend. The redhead was smiling, and Mike suddenly felt hot.

Being with more than one person at a time had never occurred to Mike, but now that the idea had been planted, it was taking root in a really fast and embarrassing way.

“Bill, Stan,” Beverly called, beaming, “meet my new friend Mike. He’s from Canada.”

Feeling a little stupid, Mike gestured to his nametag. “Saskatchewan.”

“Mike from Saskatchewan.” Stan stepped forward, confident and smooth. “Very, very nice to meet you.”

Bill smiled knowingly. “Told you, didn’t I?”

“You were right,” Stan said, eyes never leaving Mike.

Mike looked between the two, hoping for an explanation, and Bill promptly provided him with one. “I saw you here the other day, talking to kids. You’ve got incredible charisma.”

Mike was painfully cognizant of the blood rushing to his cheeks. “Thanks. Uh. Bev says you guys are CMs, too?”

“Yep!” Bill tapped his chest where his name tag would be if he were in costume. “I’m in the Magic Kingdom, and Stan’s your neighbor over at the Yacht Club.”

“It’s a shame you don’t have any guests,” said Stan, examining the Duffy coloring pages at Mike’s table. “I don’t know why people aren’t flocking to you, honestly. You seem like the kind of person that I’d actually enjoy learning about Canada from.”

“Do you wanna hear some facts?” Mike asked, and then immediately cringed. Why couldn’t he say something compelling for once?

Fortunately, Bill and Stan seemed to find it endearing rather than weird. Stan opened his mouth to speak again…

...and was immediately interrupted by a freckly, frizzy-haired tornado of a human being, who swept in and slung his absurdly long arms over Bill and Stan’s shoulders. Mike blinked rapidly, trying to take stock of the situation, but before he could get his bearings, the new person adjusted his glasses and started speaking in a thick Russian accent.

“Eet eez veddy hahd, Comrade, for me to trahhck you eef you do not answer calls, da?” He was talking to Stan, but Bill seemed to recognize him, too, if his eye roll was any indication.

“Why the fuck did you need to find me at all?” Stan groaned. It was obvious that he was fond of this weird, lanky guy, but he was playing at irritation. “I turned off my phone for a reason, you nerd. Take a hint.”

“Eh, I was bored. Also kinda sad, thanks to Big Bill here.” The guy abruptly stopped with the accent, turned to Bill, and tutted loudly. “Can you believe that Bill stood in the way of true love today? Also, how the hell do you know Bill, Stanny?”

“We’ve literally just met,” Stan said, “and preventing you from feeling love is only serving to make him more attractive to me, so by all means, Bill, continue.”

“It’s not up to me,” Bill said sadly, “and tragically, Eddie does think he’s hot.”

The third guy inhaled sharply. “Hold on, say that last bit again.”

“Mike, this is Richie.” Bill ignored Richie’s request and turned to Mike. “He’s bad, sorry.”

Richie’s eyes flicked up to Mike for the first time. Mike sat awkwardly as Richie took him in, smiled, and said, “A fucking pleasure. Has anyone ever told you that red’s your color?”

“Just you,” Mike replied honestly.

“Glad I could be your first.” Richie winked, and Mike felt charmed in spite of himself.

“Okay, so how do we all know each other again?” Bev asked, frowning. “I know Rich because he’s a giant pain in my ass when he comes through costuming, I know Bill because I know Bill, and now I know Stan and Mike through Bill…”

“Richie’s my roommate,” Stan said flatly. “Unfortunately.”

Bill whipped around to stare accusingly at Richie. “You’ve been keeping that from me?”

“Hey, I didn’t know you were into stuck-up assholes,” Richie shrugged. “Besides, that’s justice in action for not giving Cute Character Attendant Eddie my number.”

“He was working,” Bill said defensively.

“He was working,” Richie parroted mockingly. “That’s never stopped me from hitting on him before, and it won’t stop me again.”

“I wouldn't,” Bill warned. “Eddie’s no joke.”

“Didn’t say he was,” Richie agreed, bouncing excitedly. “Did he actually say I was hot, though, because--”

“Where do you work, Richie?” Mike asked, trying to save Bill from the conversation.

Richie’s smile was huge and sweet. “The World Famous Jungle Cruise, of course! Why, you itchin’ to ride my bote?” His expression turned suggestive. “Because I’d let you. It’d be worth the long, painful death Stan and Bill would put me through--”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Bill said loudly, elbowing Richie hard in the gut. Richie doubled over on to the damp wood of the pavilion floor.

Stan quirked an eyebrow, obviously impressed. “Beep beep, huh? I’ll have to remember that for next time.” He brushed Bill’s arm with his hand as he said it, and the corner of Bill’s mouth twitched up. Mike was enamoured by the interaction, and wanted more than anything to be on the other side of the table, included in whatever it was they had going on…

...fuck, he was so fucking fucked.

“Richie, if you’re not here for any real reason, then you should come with me,” said Beverly, looking like she was already regretting her offer. “I was gonna ditch these three in a couple of minutes, anyway. Let ‘em have a Food and Wine date, or something.”

“You’re sweet, Bevvy.” Richie gave her a sappy look as he peeled himself off of the floor. “Askin’ me out. Adorable. Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to pass, because Bill, I’m not going anywhere until you promise to get me Cute Eddie’s number.”

“You’re really dedicated to that, huh?” Bill asked, tone halfway between ‘impressed’ and ‘alarmed’. “What the hell happened between you two to make you so frigging obsessed, Rich? Normally you’re all jokes and no follow-through.”

Richie tried to be nonchalant, but Mike could see a bit of red creeping up his neck under the collar of his shitty Toy Story t-shirt. He was silent for a moment, and then when he spoke, his voice was soft. “He’s just...I don’t….he’s all the stuff I like, you know?”

Mike looked at Bill, whose forehead was scrunched up in obvious concern at Richie’s words, and then at Stan, who had his hands delicately on his hips and was trying and failing to not seem affected, and understood that he, Mike Hanlon, knew exactly what Richie was talking about.

“Let’s talk more about this later,” Bill finally suggested after a long moment. “Okay?”

Richie nodded quietly. Something had happened in the last few minutes...it was like someone had toggled the Richie off-switch. Mike hoped it wasn’t something he had said. “Roger that, Billiam.”

“Hey,” Mike said, feeling suddenly bold in the wake of Richie’s vulnerability. “Listen. I can’t hang with you all now, because I won’t be off of work until 22:00. If you guys are free and still awake at that point, though, y’all can come to my place after I’m done. I can write down an address. I bet my roommate won’t mind.”

Bill’s responding smile could have lit up the whole park. “I’d love that.”

“Me too,” Stan said immediately, looking between Bill and Mike with a soft expression (well, soft for Stan the consummate professional, anyway).

“You want us there, too?” Richie asked cautiously.

Mike nodded, and was relieved to note that Stan and Bill were nodding too. “Dude, I could really use some friends. I’m fresh out of those.”

With that, the tension was broken. Richie let out a great howling laugh, and moved over to clap Mike on the back. “Oh, Mikey! You just hit the friend jackpot, my man. Just ask Stanley Uris! Richie Tozier’s a top notch amigo.”

Stan shrugged listlessly. “I mean, if you like people that try to give you sloppy handies every time they’re intoxicated.”

Richie’s expression twisted up, and for a split second, Mike thought he was gonna lose it, but then instead of yelling, Richie groaned. “They’re not sloppy, Stanley, Jesus Christ.”

“Jesus who?” Stan asked, reaching out to yank on Richie’s sleeve, which presumably was meant to signal that he was kidding. “Anyways, yes, the three of us will be there, Mike. Bev?”

“That depends,” she said slyly. “Is your roomie hot, Mikey?”

Mike couldn’t help but laugh at that. Ben was an objectively handsome man, but he was less sexy than he was warm and comforting. “He’s a beautiful, wonderful guy, Beverly.”

“Then of course,” she agreed, laughing her little laugh again. “Write your address on the back of one of these Duffys, yeah?”

Mike obliged her, and when he was done, Stan took the paper and folded it up neatly, ultimately placing it in the breast pocket of his shirt.

“All right,” Richie announced. “Parting is such sweet sorrow, Micycle, but we must go purchase overpriced cocktails now. Adieu.”

“Bye!” Bev called, and almost immediately, the two of them were off, merrily making their way to the main World Showcase walkway.

Stan and Bill lingered for another moment. They were both looking at Mike with expressions that made Mike feel like his stomach was going to explode with butterflies. He didn’t know what it was about these two that made him feel all of 17 again, but he wasn’t complaining. He hadn’t been this excited about romance since middle school.

“We’ll see you later, okay?” Stan said assuringly. He slid his hand into Bill’s after he spoke, and Mike watched their fingers entwine. Absurdly, he wasn’t jealous at all...any interaction at all between the three of them felt right and good.

“Have a nice couple of hours,” Mike said, trying to convey the giddiness he was feeling through his words. “Enjoy the fireworks!”

“It’ll be nicer when we’re all together,” Bill said meaningfully, and then he and Stan were disappearing into the throng, too.

It looked like it was going to be another late night for Mike Hanlon...but somehow, he didn’t think he was going to regret this one tomorrow.

One hour and three minutes until park close, two hours and three minutes until clock-out.

Notes:

we don't deserve Mike Hanlon

*Duffy is Mickey's teddy bear, apparently. He's very popular in Japan. You used to be able to go to a Duffy meet and greet in Epcot, which is fucking wild.

**There's a moment in the Star Tours ride where one guest on that particular simulator is identified as a "Rebel Spy". The cast members get to pick that guest. I have never been that guest, and I will be bitter about that until my dying day.

[hamiltontrashaccount]

Memories (Lin-Manuel Miranda X Reader)

AHHHHHH so this took a VERY log time to write but its here!!!! I really hope you guys like it <3

Request: Can I have an imagine where the reader and lin have been married since 1997 (they have no kids) and they celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary! 

SO just an fyi, i changed the anniversary to their 15th. In 1997, Lin wouldve been 17, and I didn’t want the characters to be really young when they got married. So they were about 22 when they got married :)

Pairing: Lin-Manuel Miranda x reader

Word Count: 3277

Warnings: Just some cursing, someone gets a minor injury (i dont wanna say what it is cause it might spoil the fic), if theres any other warning lmk please

MASTERLIST

You stood in front of the mirror, fretting about tonight, July 13.

July 13 was a special day. It was the day you first met Lin, at a campus tour for Wesleyan University, 20 years ago in 1997. It was also, coincidentally, the date of the first Hamilton preview. And, the most important event on this date, your wedding anniversary.

Needless to say, everything about tonight had to be perfect. Starting with your outfit.

You wore a dark blue dress, that fit tight in all the right places. Lin was so going to love it, but he’d probably love taking it off you more when he found out what you had underneath for him.

Lin knocked on the door. A few days prior to today, Lin planned to stay at a friend’s house for the day, so that you two could act like this was a date, and he’d have the opportunity to knock on the door. You had to admit, hearing the knock gave you butterflies. It made you think about your first date with him, in your sophomore year of college.

Despite having met Lin at Wesleyan, that wasn’t the college you’d decided to go to. You both kept in touch during your senior year, always hanging out when you had time. You both knew that you liked each other, but because your careers were going in two different places, you both decided that staying friends would’ve been much easier and less stressful. But that plan hadn’t lasted long. Since your colleges weren’t too far from each other, you and Lin had spent even more time together, sometimes even going to each other’s classes whenever one was too bored waiting for the other’s class to finish. Your friend groups, which eventually merged due to all the time spent together, constantly told you two of the passion you’d had when around each other. You always denied it, and you and Lin continued the friendship.

Until one fateful night, at a frat party at Wesleyan. You were sorta dating a guy during that time, and invited him to the party. A very sensual song came on, so naturally, you had decided to dance with your date. You’d both kissed during the dance and Lin saw it all. After walking you back to the dorm, Lin admitted he couldn’t stand to see you with another guy, and asked if you’d be willing to give the two of you a chance; of course you said yes.

Your first official date had been sometime in the fall of your sophomore year. You were in a red dress, all dolled up and ready. You weren’t nervous, because this was Lin. Why in the world would you be nervous?

But when you heard that knock on your dorm room door, your stomach dropped. The thought of eating that night made you sick. This was Lin. You kept telling yourself. But no, it wasn’t Lin. It was your date. You had to impress him, right?

All bad thoughts you’d had that day came back, which was absurd. You’d been married 15 years. Why in the hell would you be worried?

Because you love him. A beautifully reasonable voice in your head said. You agreed with the voice, and swallowed your worries. This was your husband, your beautiful, talented and amazing husband.

Finally getting the courage to go on this date, you smoothed down the non-existent wrinkles in the dress you’d spent a good hour ironing and walked to the door. The moment you opened the door, you were greeted with the beautiful sight of Lin-Manuel Miranda. He literally took your breath away.

“Woah,” Lin whispered, obviously as starstruck with you as you were with him.

“You look amazing,” You both said at the same time.

“Thanks, I try.” You both said at the same time again. You giggled and Lin rolled his eyes. 15 years of marriage made you both think the same way.

“So where are we going?” You asked, linking your arm with Lin’s.

“It’s a surprise.” He said.

You rolled your eyes. Lin loved surprises. As long as they weren’t for him.

Lin led you down to his car and opened the passenger door for you. You stepped in, making sure your dress was tucked under you. You didn’t want Lin to get a peak of his surprise.

The drive to wherever the hell you guys were going was a pretty long, so you and Lin played a car game on the way. I Spy, was always a favorite of yours, so that was what you played.

“I spy with my little eyes something green.” Lin started.

“The traffic light?”

“Mm-mm.”

“Uh… That tree?”

“Nope.”

“Your air freshener.” You said, sure of yourself.

“Nope, do you give up?”

“I guess.”

“It was that sign we passed by like four miles ago.”

“Lin! You can’t choose something like that!”

“Why not?”

“It’s cheating!”

“No, it’s called strategy.” He said smugly. You socked him in the arm and took your turn.

Lin won the game, through lots of cheating you might add.

As you stepped out of the car, you were greeted with the sight of Wesleyan University.

“Wha-”

“Now this is only our first stop for the night. I thought you might like a tour of the campus. It might convince you that you made a bad decision not going to Wesleyan.”

“Haha, very funny. But can I ask how you expect to get a tour of the campus when it's 6 o’clock at night?”

“See, since I’m Lin-Manuel Miranda, I can get whatever the hell I want, especially since I’m an alumni here.”

As Lin said that, a man came walking out of one of the buildings, carrying two folders with him.

“Hello, Mr. Miranda.” He said, walking up to Lin and shaking his hand. “Hello, Ms. Miranda.” He now gave his hand to you. You shook his hand, still in a state of shock, since Lin wasn’t kidding when he said you guys were getting a tour of the university.

The tour was just as you remembered it. You all passed by the science building and you were hit with another memory.

Senior year was fast approaching, so your parents decided that summer was a great time to visit colleges. You’d already visited a couple, some you had good chances of getting into, others not so much. The whole experience was fun, but at this point, you just really wanted to go home and be able to sleep. This was the second and last college of the day and you were dreading it. It didn’t help that being around other people your age made you anxious. They were so different yet similar to you that you could hardly stand them, let alone kids from your own school.

Wesleyan University had a beautiful campus, but it just didn’t give you that vibe. The vibe that this was the place that you belonged in, that feeling that this was home. But you continued the tour because the tour guide said there would be snacks waiting for everyone at the end of the tour.

Five minutes into the tour, a young man followed by an older man, who looked similar to him so you could only assume that was his father, walked up to the rest of the tour. They were both out of breath as they stood next to you and your parents.

You gave the younger man a questioning look and he shrugged and leaned in close to whisper “My dad got lost on the way here.” You nodded in response and paid attention to the tour guide.

You thought that was the end of the conversation, but the other guy apparently didn’t. “You from here?”

“Not really.”

“Where do you live?”

You sighed loudly, hoping he would see that you were exasperated with the conversation. He didn’t care. “New York.”

“Really? So do I!”

“Lin.” His dad said. You stifled a laugh as Lin quickly shut his mouth so his dad wouldn’t yell at him again.

The tour guide led everyone inside a building. You could hear him start explaining how it was a science building and where they got the money to afford to build it. Lin decided this was a perfect opportunity to start talking again.

“Where in New York do you live?”

“NYC.”

He nodded his head and thankfully, that’s the end of that conversation. The tour guide leads everyone upstairs and as you lifted your leg to step up, you tripped on your untied shoelaces. Your leg got stuck in the air and you barely had a chance to fall forward before you mom turns around to you, ultimately knocking you backwards instead.

With a yelp, you fell backwards until you’re caught in the air by a certain Nuyorican.

“Looks like you’re falling for me.” He said with a smirk.

You scoffed and stand up, putting as much space as you can from ‘Lin.’

Thankfully, the memory isn’t relived and you make it up the steps without incident.

Everything else about the tour was unmemorable, the first time you went through it. If there was anything you remembered from the first tour, it was that Lin consistently tried to flirt with you, and consistently failed.

The next stop on Lin’s surprise night is a restaurant. And not just any restaurant. It's your favorite restaurant.

It's a pizza parlor, that only just recently got renovated to add indoor seating. You and Lin are much too overdressed, but Lin didn’t seem to mind as he led you over to a table he apparently reserved. You both sit down and a waitress comes over with two small menus. Lin waves the menu away and said, “I already know what we’re going to order.”

“Do you now?” You asked, resting your chin on your hand.

The waitress tried to stifle her laugh. Lin stuck his tongue out at you and continued. “Yes, half-mushroom and half sausage pizza, with three mushrooms on each slice of the mushroom side, one lime Coke, one regular Coke, an order of garlic bread, with extra garlic, and buffalo wings, with two ranches and one nacho cheese.”

You were shocked.

“What?” Lin asked when the waitress walked away.

“We haven’t been here in five years. You still remembered our order.”

“Of course I do. I remember everything.”

You smirked. “Everything?”

Lin noticed the evil twinkle in your eye. “What?”

“Do you remember the first time we came here?”

His cheeks went red. “Nope, don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh I think you do.”

Another memory found its way through your head.

On your one year anniversary, you’d decided to take Lin to your favorite restaurant, one that your family always took you and your sibling up to on vacations. It was where they had met, and you’d always dreamed of meeting your own soulmate there too. Unfortunately that never happened, but you were pretty happy with the place where you met your soulmate.

You’d told him about it, but neither of you ever had the time to go and visit it. But for your one year anniversary, you both thought it would be fun to take the long drive up to Middletown for the date.

You loved mushroom pizza, but only from this pizzeria. No other pizzaria could match the taste of this pizza, so you’d never ordered it anywhere else. Which was why Lin was surprised when you ordered a large mushroom pizza.

“Mushrooms?” He asked, taking a nervous sip of his water.

“Yeah… Is that okay?”

“Yeah, its just just never ordered mushroom pizza before.”

“That’s because I only like it from here.” At seeing the anxious look on his face, you added “We can make it half and half if you want, it's okay.”

“No, I love mushrooms! Don’t worry, babe.” Lin said quickly. You nodded your head, although you already knew he was lying. But if he didn’t want to speak up, then you were just going to sit back and watch as a disaster happened. Boy, was it going to be a great show.

And a great show it was.

When the pizza came, Lin gagged, though he hid it pretty well. But considering how well you knew Lin, you knew when he was disgusted with something. And he was definitely disgusted now.

“Smells amazing right?” You asked, smiling big.

“Yup! Can’t wait to eat it!” He rushed to grab a slice and stuffed a big bite into his mouth. His eyes widened as the slimy texture of the mushroom finally touched his tongue. With great difficulty, he swallowed it, and smiled at you.

“Taste good, babe?” You asked. He smiled, but you could see the pain in his eyes.

He struggled to eat two slices of pizza, and you happily ate half of the pie.

Once the pizza was stored away in a take out container and the meal was paid for, you and Lin left the pizzeria.

Lin was silent as you guys walked back to the car.

“Lin, are you-”

Before you finished your sentence, Lin was running to some bushes across the street, and throwing up what he had eaten. You ran to him, asking him if he was okay.

“Yeah, I just...”

“Don’t like mushrooms?”

He looked down guiltily.

“Lin, babe.” You used your finger to lift his head up by his chin. You grabbed the sleeve of the hoodie that was wrapped around your waist to wipe his mouth. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You seemed really excited to eat here, and when you ordered that,” He made a disgusted face, “I didn’t want to make you unhappy. You love it whenever we have something in common, and I just like making you happy, okay?”

You shook your head, smiling. “I also like it when we have things not in common. It keeps me on my toes, you know.” You joked, but then turned serious. “I want to make you happy too, and I want to take care of you. Letting you suffer by eating mushroom doesn't seem like taking care of you. Next time you don’t like something, you tell me, okay? We’re married and that means we take care of each other, Lin. It's not a one-way thing.”

He smiled, and wrapped his arms around your torso. “Got it.” He leaned down for a kiss and you quickly turned your head away.

“Okay, I love you a lot, but what we’re not gonna do is make out after you just vomited all over some people’s lawn.”

He smiled again, and settled for kissing you on your cheek.

“I thought we agreed to never bring that up again.” Lin said.

“Wha- No! That was the funniest thing to ever happen. You weren’t watching your face as you ate it, Lin. You looked like you were forced to eat shit.”

“It tasted like shit too.”

“Hey!”

He put his arms up in surrender. “I’m just being honest.”

The time at the pizzeria is uneventful. You and Lin just continue to talk and joke around, occasionally throwing food at each other, thus earning the stares of parents in the pizzeria. Neither of you were setting a good example to any of the kids in there.

Once the food was eaten and packed away, you and Lin left. There was a beach not too far from the pizzeria, so that was the next stop.

Like every other moment of that night, the beach brought up old memories of you and your husband.

It wasn’t necessarily the beach that you were afraid of; it was the nasty creatures that resided in the ocean. Namely, jellyfish. When you were ten years old, a jellyfish came and stung you on your arm. This was back when people still believed peeing on a jellyfish sting actually helped it; so of course what happened on that horrible day? Your friend, who’d been there with you, decided that they were going to save the day, and peed on your arm. Unfortunately, they didn’t pay attention to where they were peeing and accidentally got some pee on your hair.

Since then, beaches were completely banned for you. It was Lin who’d convinced you to go to a beach during spring break in your freshman year of college. You just absolutely refused to go anywhere near the water. Your rational adult brain knew that there was no reason for you to be afraid of the ocean, but your inner child always came out whenever a beach was mentioned, so you still never managed to go into the actual ocean. And if you would ever go to the beach, it would only be with Lin by your side, so that he could “beat all the mean, ol’ jellyfish away from you”, as he kindly explained it.

It was your fear of beaches that gave Lin the brilliant idea to propose to you there.

“Now wait, hear me out.” Lin said when he brought the idea up with your older sister. “I want to replace a bad memory with a good one. This is the perfect way to do it!”

Now you had to admit, when your sister told you he said this after that day, it made perfect sense. And you couldn’t help but fall more in love with him, if that were even possible.

Lin took you to the beach, as normal as ever. He’d even coaxed you into going to the edge of the water, watching him as he splashed around in the water, and giggling whenever he splashed you in return.

It was there, when he got down on one knee, submerging almost his entire lower half of his body in the water, that he proposed to you. Too bad that immediately after you said yes, and he was standing up to put the ring on you, a jellyfish stung Lin. On his… private part.

He was rushed immediately to the hospital, and the whole way there, Lin cried about how he ruined the proposal.

“Babe, it was perfect, stop crying about it. I love it.”

“But it's ruined. I tried to give you a good memory but now its a bad memory.”

“Baby, a couple years from now, hell, a couple days from now, we’re gonna be laughing about today. Don’t worry Lin, everything about today was perfect.”

He, of course, still wasn’t happy about that. But you were right. A couple days later, when Lin’s embarrassment was gone, he laughed about the situation until he couldn’t breath and he had tears rolling down his face.

You and Lin walked along the water’s edge, talking about each other’s job, occasionally splashing the other with water using your feet. It was the perfect end to a perfect day.

The drive back to New York was quiet, the only sound in the car being a CD that Lin made for you on your birthday many years ago. Come to think of it, everything you had in your life was touched by Lin. Even the car, which you’d had for 10 years now, was touched by Lin; he was there when you bought the car and he’d been the one to pick it.

There was nothing that didn’t have Lin all over it, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“What are you smiling about over there?” Lin asked, grabbing your hand and giving the back of it a big smooch.

“Nothing. Just that I’m lucky to have you.” You turned to look at him. “I love you so much, Lin-Manuel.”

“I love you too, Y/N. I love you so much.”

[finnlet]

Sans the skeleton went into a coffee shop on September 13th, 2019. He came in for a americano because it was one of the few things that warmed his cold heart. He took it black and added nothing special to it. He loved bitterness.

Then, he saw him. Kokichi Ouma. The Ultimate Supreme Leader. He felt something in his bones, an aching sensation to go meet him. He went to the barista and read his nametag.

"Hey.... Komaeda. give me a freakin' americano! no sugar, no creamer, just make it black and venti. thanks."

"um. ok. i'll get it going for you... sans"

"whatever."

Sans and Komaeda had been a couple back in 2015 but they broke up due to Komaeda cheating on him with another man named Hajime.

========

"S-SANS? IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. H-HE... UM..." komaeda screamed

"OH BUDDY YOu'RE SET TO HAVE A BAD TIME NOW. PREPARE YOURSELF" sans shouted.

sans threw a lamp at hajime, who ran out screaming and crying. komaeda moved out of sans' house and went to move in with hajime. oh well.

========

Sans went over to the little purple haired man who was sitting on his macbook writing an email.

"Hey... you look kinda cute. Wanna get sansy?" sans asked.

"what the fuck lol. are you cursed. im going to send a picture of u to korekiyo lmao. maybe he knows whats happening" ouma said, taking out his phone

"wha.... what the hell are you talking about" sans asked

"korekiyo knows about weird shit so he'd probably know what you are you cursed halloween decoration"

*snap*

ouma mumbled as he typed: "hey... dude .... look at this... weird shit at starbucks"

"Im not a decoration, i'm a skeleton." sans said.

"oh. So do skeletons have dicks."

"I can show you if you come back to my place later." sans said WITH A SMIRK.

"...I think i'll take you up on your offer. i've always been curious about what happens when all the flesh falls off  lol. TIME TO SEE SKELTON DIK." ouma shouted.

the other patrons of starbucks turned and looked at him.

saihara, who was hanging out with kaede, kaito, maki, kiibo, and korekiyo, ran over.

"Ouma shut the fuck up you're so loud and annoying." saihara said

"ok" ouma said

"hey who the hell are you. im trying to hook up with this dude and you're here yelling at him" sans growled. he was rumbling like a machine. his eye went blue.

"well if you really want to know I'm... Shuichi Saihara. They call me the Ultimate Detective, but... lol. you know, you give off the same awful aura that ouma gives me. two peas in a pod i guess" saihara said, eyeing sans.

*snapchat noficiation sound*

"...korekiyo is right there but he sent me a fucking snapchat message back. what a creep." ouma sighed. opening it, he huffed a HUGE GROAN.

"are you even a real fucking anthropologist? why do you know the history of farming but not skeletons." ouma shouted across the restaurant.

"BE QIET SIMPLETON." maki shouted back angrily. she was beyond pissed off.

“Har har har!” ouma laughed heartily.

“SANS? WILL YOU PLEEEEEASE PICK UP YOUR COFFEE. IT’S BEEN DONE FOR LIKE, 10 MINUTES NOW.” komaeda shouted through the microphone.

“Fucking hell ok” sans said, walking off. He picked it up and walked back over towards Ouma.

“That guys my ex. Hes kind of weird isnt he :) i threw a lamp at his boyfriend when they tried to cuck me. LOL” sans chortled. He sounded like a wind chime when he laughed.

“Komaeda is cool, he gives me free milk and cheese samples since I told him i’m an orphan from tokyo. What a fucking idit he is for believing me am i right?! i have my macbook pro and my iphone x AND MY AIRPODS, plus my ipad pro and these cool yeezys.” ouma laughed. he was so fucking sneaky.

“what do you use the ipad for if you already have a macbook” sans asked. he had nothing but an iphone x and some air jordans :/”

“I use that to watch family guy, WHA TTH EFUCK DO YOU THINK? Do you think i don’t like the best program of our time? I love seeing Peter Griffin appear on my screen. he fills me with lust. Dare say you that you…. dislike family guy?” ouma went on monologuing.

“n-no i didnt say i hated family guy i just-”

“ANDDD YOU’RE JUST LIKE KIBOY! HAR HAR HAR! He hates family guy! He can’t stand it. nobody at that noob table likes it. the only people who like family guy at my school are me, ryoma, angie, and himiko. Tenko watches it but only because she has a crush on lois. lol” ouma sighed.

the starbucks went quiet aside from the sipping sounds and weird ass pop music. today’s playlist included: “fake love” (A/N: STREAM FAKE LOVE :]), “two trucks”, and “like a farmer.”

ouma specifically requested this because he knew everyone hated the music, but komaeda felt bad for him and kept the same three songs on.

“Ouma Kokichi. One of your little friends over there just told me that you AREN’T AN ORPHAN?” komaeda said. he was crying.

“w-WHO. WHO SAID THAT LOL. IT’S A… THEY’RE LYING.” ouma shouted. he was so scared. he knew that komaeda had kept note of how much free starbucks shit he’d gotten and it was well over 4,500 dollar.s

“idk. that one.” komaeda pointed at kiibo.

“OHHH KIBOYYYYYYYYYY. He’s a robot, Nagito. You can’t trust Robots!” ouma laughed.

“That is blatant robophobia! I will report you to the proper starbucks authorities if you keep up this act Ouma!” kiibo shouted.

“shut up you ugly bag of bolts” ouma growled aggain.

kaede, korekiyo, and saihara looked alarmed. every day kiibo and ouma fought in the bathroom and caused some type of flooding to happen. once they lined up a bunch of fruits and vegetables and flooded the bathroom and they all ended up in the hallway.

“Kaede. Saihara. It’s been… nice, but I will leave now. I do not like being around Ouma.” korekiyo said.

“w-wait man donT LEAVE YET.” saihara said. he was sweating like a pig. he knew that kiibo liked having saihara on his side and ouma always punched himb (saihara) in the ribs to give him a bruise.

“yeah you shouldn’t leave yet…😀 please” kaede begged.

“You have Maki and Kaito. I’m fairly certain they can fight better than us.” korekiyo said, already halfway to the door.

“He’s right you know.” kaede said. she and saihara said goodbye through their tears and turned to ouma and kiibo again.

“MAN I’M ALL FIRED UP, CAN’T BELIEVE THAT OUMA IS FUCKIN’ AROUND WITH KIIBO AGAIN AND IN PUBLIC THIS TIME” kaito shouted. he was so full of energy because he had accidentally gotten coffee with extra sugar.

“kaito shut up” maki said.

“CAN’T STOP ME NOW…. IM HAVIN’ A GOOD TIME DON’T WANNA STOP AT ALL” kaito said. he did not know the lyrics right.

“c-can you guys please leave” said two men sitting in a booth. it was george michael and andrew ridgeley. they were visiting japan today for their tour and decided to get some unicorn frappuccinos to drink.

sans was staring in anticipation at everyone. ouma and kiibo were glaring at each other and komaeda could only watch in horror.

“Lets take this outside man. maybe it’ll rain and you’ll get rusty and die. LOL.” ouma screamed. he was in hysterics now.

“OH. YOU’VE DONE IT NOW. YES, WE’RE GOING TO FIGHT RIGHT NOW. OUTSIDE. SAIHARA, KAEDE, KAITO, MAKI, K…. where did korekiyo go” kiibo said

“He left bc you guys are fucked up” maki said. she wanted to leave when she saw ouma but didn’t have the heart to say it to everyone. ouma always ruined the plans.

“wha…. NO?” kiibo said. he cried one tear.

“>implying you can use everyone. YOU ONLY GET TWO OF THOSE PEOPLE ON YOUR TEAM DUMBASS.” ouma shouted

“t-team?!” saihara gasped. he was 💩ing bricks.

“for the BEST TEAM, i, kokichi Ouma, pick: kaito and maki. kiboy gets saihara and kaede! lmao have fun with weaklings.” ouma said.

“can you all leave already, you’RE SCARING THE CUSTOMERS AWAY AND ITS RUINING BUSINESS.” the manager (teruteru) said angrily.

“oh fuck off you ant.” ouma said, dragging everyone out into the back lot. komaeda and sans were dumbfounded. there was virtually no rehearsal for that.

CHAPTER TWO START:::

“Ouma you have insulted me for the last time. today is a new start. kaede, saihara, and i will now proceed to defeat you.” kiibo shouted. he was fucking confident in his abilities today.

“kiboy you will lose in one minute. im sorry to say it. wait, NO IM NOT. fucking hellion. seth mcfarlane personally blessed me with family guy so i am invincible.” ouma said.

“ouma do i have to help you. i dont want to fight my sidekick OR KAEDE. o-or KIIBO :)” kaito asked.

“yes shrimp. you must fight for me because i recruited you and that’s how this bullshit works. don’t worry though! it’ll only take one pow and kiboy will be knocked out because he’s rusty and old. NEEHEEHEE.” ouma was fucking laughing his ass off.

maki and kaito looked at each other and gave the most sorry looks to kaede and saihara. they honestly didn’t Want to help ouma because they thought he was a fucking asshole but ouma could blackmail them and potentially kill them. no risks. kaede and saihara knew this but were still hurt.

“Ouma I have a doctor’s appointment in like, 15 minutes. can i leave yet” kaede said.

“wha…? w-well… you’re goign to hav eto recruit someone else to fight in your place since saihara wouldn’t win against me in a million years lol.” ouma said. he was so fucking annoyed. he just wanted to punch kiibo already.

[cryingbilldenbrough]

you: a concept: kasplonbrough also you in the tags of your post: “i’m feeling some bill/eddie/mike ot3!” me: ok bitch it’s time so i’m thinking i’m going to need to know who was dating first and how was the third person added? like i need to know some origin stuff. please and thank you (also ilysm).

OK so let’s build off this post

the thing is, bill knows eddie loves mike more than friends, more than a brother even

he can tell by the way eddie gets a little short of breath when mike bends over to pick up a particularly heavy rock, muscles straining beneath a white shirt

and bill knows mike’s similarly smitten, cause he bites back a smile whenever eddie gets started on one of his rants, gearing up and sucking in a deep breath to get ready to talk for as long as he can without interruption

bill figures he just needs to leave them to it

(even though he’s fallen in love with mike’s smile and his casual wit and his soft-spoken intelligence)

(even though he’s been in love with eddie kaspbrak since before he can remember)

he knows he needs to step back and let them figure it out, without getting his own stupid feelings involved

cause for bill, love is So Messy

he’s a glass table with jagged broken edges, one blow from fracturing further into a thousand pieces

and his friends deserve a love untainted, without fear of breaking

(bill’s kind of an idiot)

anyway, mike and eddie never get together as kids

cause eddie goes off to new york for the second half of high school and mike takes on more responsibility at the farm

and they all kind of just…. forget each other

bill forgets about thursday night dinners and helping mike’s mom cook and he forgets looking out the kitchen window to watch mike and eddie, pink cheeked and eyes watering from battling biting wind, do farm chores with breathless smiles on their faces

bill eats dinner alone at the dining room table at his house and can’t shake the feeling of emptiness in his chest

he shoulders the invisible burden, he goes to college, becomes World Famous Author bill denbrough, and forgets all about Derry and his Family

until mike hanlon calls him late one night

it’s nearing 3am and he’s awake, because bill really doesn’t sleep much

and the caller ID has a number with a maine area code

he answers hesitantly, mind almost numbingly blank, and gets shot back into the past by the sound of mike’s voice

he books the next flight home and spends the journey bouncing his knee anxiously

he gets into town at like noon the next day and immediately goes to the derry public library

mike hanlon grew up handsome, as if there was any worry of that

his shoulders are broad and strong and he shakes bill’s hand with confidence and god, bill feels it all rushing back

the warmth of loving mike flows through his veins and god, how did he forget? how did he let this memory slip past his finger tips

the fear is almost an afterthought, the reason they’re there and Together at the back of bill’s mind, forgotten

he goes back to mike’s house and sleeps in his guest room and bill hasn’t felt so At Home since he stopped going to hanlon family dinners

there’s a piece missing though

cause the dinner table isn’t the same when eddie’s not chattering away 

conversation is stilted, not because mike and bill can’t get along by themselves, but because they’re constantly pausing

as if they know instinctively eddie would want to butt in and say his piece

it’s not until the next day, late into a lazy afternoon 

(mike had gone to work for a few hours in the morning and returned to explain the Full Story of Its return with bill)

eddie comes home

he somehow knows where mike lives, marching right up the porch steps and something in bill’s chest pulls him to the door, answering it before eddie can even knock

eddie kaspbrak grew up good. his hair is fluffy and he has a pair of thin-framed wire glasses on his face and he’s wearing a really warm looking sweater

bill scoops him into a hug and breathes in deep, familiar and grounding

they share a bottle of wine in celebration that night, gathered around the kitchen table at mike’s house

they’re loose, flushed and giggly, and bill looks at his boys with wonder on his face

“how’s your dad?” eddie asks, almost as if the thought has just occurred to him

bill remembers then, remembers cooking with jess hanlon, remembers the bond with mike’s family he once had

mike swallows, looking just a little too old and weary, and tells them of both parent’s tragic deaths

will passed away from cancer a few winters back and jess hanlon followed him peacefully the following spring

it really really fucking hurts to hear

it’s like bill’s been given a gift and then had it ripped from his grip

he reaches out, across the table, and grabs mike’s hand

eddie has the other, fingers interlocked, and they’re a chain of grieving

they spend that night in remembrance of their family and all they shared

as time goes on, the losers arrive one by one

bev then ben then richie (no stan, and that fucking burns too)

they spend a day lost in memories again, relearning a forgotten childhood

and bill tries not to want it

he tries not to want to gather eddie and mike up and flee this cursed town

he tries not to want to finally let himself indulge in a fantasy where he gets both of his boys all for his own

he tries not to picture himself happy

because it’s all going to be torn apart soon

he puts his head down and tries to get some fucking Work done and doesn’t get distracted by eddie’s familiar lilting laugh and mike’s fucking stupid white smile

(it’s not going well)

they go on their Walking Tours and god, it’s only worse

cause mike fucking gives bill the gift of Silver, of memory of childish carefree fun

bill and mike spend the afternoon riding his bike like fucking children

and then eddie comes home from his own Tour with scraped knees and a dirty face and bill plummets back to earth

he remembers why they’re here

he throws himself back into it with fervour

he tries to remember their secrets, their hidden weapons, the reasons they survived the first time

he tries to make a plan, a foolproof plan to beat It

letting himself get lost in mike and eddie is really not a part of the plan

unfortunately (fortunately) for bill, eddie kaspbrak has never once done anything according to bill’s plan

he sneaks into bill’s room late one night, when they’re so close to the end that bill can taste it

there’s a thrumming in the air that bill knows means their time is almost up

(bill doesn’t know that Henry Bowers is currently making his way to the hanlon house, fully intent on killing them all)

he slides the door open almost silently, feet tracking over the hardwood floors, and bill sits up in bed as he enters

“eds?” he says, voice scratchy, and feels eddie sit down on the edge of his bed

“it’s me” he answers, but bill knew that from his soft breath and steady heartbeat

“w-what’s up?”

“oh, nothing. just wondering if we’re gonna die tomorrow.”

bill doesn’t answer. it’s answer enough. eddie sighs and takes a deep breath in, almost like he’s steeling himself

(bill loves his brave boy)

“bill?”

“yeah”

“i love you”

bill wants to brush it off

he wants to go back to forgetting, to letting things fall through his fingers without feeling their loss

but he can’t

“i love you t-too, eds” he says instead

eddie plants a hand on bill’s knee through the blankets and kisses him

just once, light and steady, and then he backs off

and u KNOW that once bill’s tasted the forbidden fruit he can’t forget

he dives back in head first

“what about mike” he can’t help but breathe against eddie’s mouth

“i’m sorry,” eddie says, and moves back

bill chases him, leaning in and trying to capture his mouth again, but eddie’s gone

“what?” bill asks, confused

“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have,” eddie’s making excuses, running a hand through his hair and bill reaches up to flatten it down “i just thought maybe…. i just figured you had maybe felt what i did but i understand if you’re just interested in mike i shouldnt have assumed and i love mike too it’s okay you two deserve each other i shouldn’t have come in here”

“whoa whoa whoa,” bill says, putting his hands up because eddie is rambling and he isn’t making any sense “eds, i love you,”

“yeah, but–”

“but what?”

“but you love mike” 

bill chuckles

“can’t i love both my boys?” he says

and eddie fucking crashes into him

anyway, i dont feel like getting into logistics bc i have already written too many words of ot3 makeouts and there’s only so many times u can write three-way kissing b4 u wanna die

but they end up in mike’s bed, pressed together on the king size mattress

and that’s when fucking henry bowers makes his debut

but! 

mike’s not alone this time

he’s flanked by bill and eddie and they have something worth fucking fighting for now

they’re been recharged by every moment they’ve been together and they’re fucking unstoppable

mike takes a knife to the thigh and bowers gets off a solid right hook to eddie’s jaw but otherwise they’re virtually unharmed

it has Begun though

they make their way down to the sewer, just like they’re meant to

except man, bill’s powerful this time

(there’s no Audra, nothing to distract him, and his boys are walking strong beside him)

eddie supports mike, the other man’s arm thrown over his shoulder, as they track through the sewers

and while Bill and Richie go into the deadlights, mike is there to help eddie take down the spider

and eddie kaspbrak does not lose his fucking arm

because right as he’s thrusting his inhaler into Its mouth, mike’s arm catches him round the waist and pulls him back

eddie loses the tips of his fingers but it could have been a LOT fucking worse

eddie and mike call bill back from the Deadlights together, whispering “come home bill” into the Void

“you’re too old,” It tries to taunt, tries to distract from the power of eddie and mike calling him back “too old and broken and you’re all going to die here” 

bill hears mike and eddie’s whisper in his head

and turns to richie, eyes flashing wickedly in the dark vaccuum of the void

and he smiles

because nothing can stop bill from getting back to his boys

send me requests/headcanons/prompts!

[bitsfordays]

Work Visits

Another part to my nurseydex children series! Ive offically deemed this Au “Things That Stop You Dreaming” and it can be found on AO3 under that title!

Enjoy Addy being cute af, plus an introduction to Bella! 

(pst, i posted this in two parts on AO3 but yall will get it all in one bc im lazy)

“Daddy, are we there?”

Derek sighed and looked at his daughter for probably the seventh time in the last 10 minutes he's been driving. This was the seventh time she asked.

“Addison, I know you have the route to the rink memorized, so I know that you know that we are literally in the arena parking lot. You don't have to antagonize me.”

Addison gave what could only be described as a shit-eating grin from her spot in the back seat. She swung her legs happily. “I know Daddy, but Papa says that I should mess with you more often. He says its funny”

Derek was going to kill his husband.

He pulled into one of the parking spots reserved for players families and shut off the car. He turned around so he could make proper eye contact with his daughter.

“Okay Addison, Papa is playing against Uncle Jack tonight. Uncle Bitty was in town already for his book tour and so he brought Bella with him and we’ll be sitting with them in the family section. Do you remember the rules for when Uncle Jack plays against Papa?”

“Boo when Papa gets checked but don't cheer if someone on Uncle Jacks team gets checked, unless it's by Papa.” Addison explained neatly.

“Anything else?”Derek prompted.

“Don't curse?”

Derek couldn't help but laugh. Addison had learned her fair share of curse words, despite only being 6 years old. It's what happened when a child had an uncle whose name was literally Shitty.

“Not quite, lovely but that's a good one. I was actually going for ‘don't heckle Uncle Jack.’ He needs to stay concentrated on the game ”

“Oh.” Addison shrugged her little shoulders. “I can do that. Can we go inside now?”

Derek laughed. “Yes, Addy. We can.”

They got out of the car and made their way inside, not even bothering to wave their passes at the security guards, who they knew by name and had for years now. They went to their seats in the family section, directly behind the glass and found their family already there.

“Bella!” Addison tore her hand from Derek's and ran to greet her best friend/pseudo-cousin. They hugged tightly in the way that only young kids could.

Bella was a year older than Addison but that didn't stop them from being as thick as thieves. They lived three hours apart so they didn't see each other often but they adored each other just the same. Bella was more soft spoken than Addison was,

“Nursey!” Bitty grinned and pulled Derek into a tight hug.

“Hey Bits.” Derek laughed and hugged the other man back, just as tight. “How was the book tour?”

“Oh, you would not believe...”Bitty launched into a story about his time touring for his newest cookbook and Derek let his thoughts drift as Bitty rambled on.

“Oh, there they are!” Bella interrupted her father, pointing down at the ice as the players skated on for warm ups.

Jack and Will  were both easy to spot. Even from under his helmet, Will’s ginger hair was easy to spot, just as Jacks distinctive blue eyes were easy to spot behind his face guard.

“Papa!” Addison jumped up and down in front of the glass and waved her arms furiously. “Papa! Papa, over here!”

Derek could see Will’s grin from the other side of the ice. Will waved at his daughter, who waved back energetically. Derek could see Jack’s shoulders shake as he laughed and saw Jacks mouth move in some chirp. Will grinned and said something back before they skated their separate ways to warm up with their teams.

Addison kept waving her arms, trying to catch her father's attention again until Derek had to put a stop to it. “Add,let Papa warm up in peace. You dont want to throw him off his game, do you?”

“Its preseason, Daddy, it doesn't effect the season.” Addison responded, not looking away from the ice. Bitty chuckled from his seat.

“Addison. Leave him be until after the game, okay? Then you can harass him as much as you want.”

“Fiiiiiineeeee.” Addison backed away from the glass and sat down between Derek and Bella with a pout but Derek couldn't help but chuckle. There were times where he wanted to do the same thing.

Addison kept pouting and Derek took pity on her. “Hey Addy, how about you tell Uncle Bitty how your skating classes have been going? Im sure he would love to hear about them.”

Addison perked up immediately and Derek smiled.

This was going to be a good evening.

Rangers beat the Falconers 4-3, with Dex getting the game winning goal at the end of the 3rd period. Jack clapped Will on the shoulder during the handshaking and from the stands, Derek could see him say something and Will laughed before they both went on to shake more hands.  

They met Dex outside of the Rangers locker room. He was sweaty and gross but he still beamed when he saw his husband and daughter. It made Dereks heart do flips, the same way it did when they met in college.

“Papa!” Addison tore her hand from Dereks and did a flying leap towards her father. Will dropped his hockey bag to open his arms as his daughter slammed into his chest. “Hi Papa! You played really good tonight!”

“Thanks baby.” Will hugged her tightly. “Did you enjoy watching the game with Uncle Bitty and Bella?”

“Yeah! Did you know Bella is taking figure skating classes? Im gonna have her show me all the stuff shes learning there and Ill teach her everything Im learning in my hockey skating class!”

“Thats wonderful, Addy-Girl.” Will smiled. He set her down and looked over at Derek. “Hey babe. Did you enjoy the game?”

“You know I did.” Derek smiled and kissed Will on the cheek. “Nice check on Jack during the 2nd. Had him rattled for a second there.”

Will shrugged. “He got me back in the 3rd, twice as hard. I felt my brain rattle.”

Derek frowned. “How's your head?”

“It's fine, Der. They got me all checked out and I'm fine.”

“Good. I like you better with your brain intact.”

“Same.”

“Quit being gross!” Addison jabbed Will in the leg to get his attention.

“Ow, Addison. That's not how you get people's attention.” Will chided.

“Sorry. Can we go see Uncle Jack and Bitty and Bella now?” Addison said.

“Sure. Lead the way.” Derek said.

Addison lead them around to the visitors lockers, just in time to run into Jack, Bitty and Bella, who was currently asleep on Jacks back.

“Nice game, Cap.” Derek said with a smirk.

Jack sighed. “I havent been your captain in over a decade, Nurse. Please stop.”

“Ah, but you were the best one Ive ever had. Sorry Bits.”

Bitty and Jack both rolled their eyes.

“We would love to stay and chat with you two but we gotta get headed towards the airport.” Bitty said. “Especially since Bells already asleep. Shes been up since 6am with me and is just bone tired.”                                                             

“Okay Bits. We’ll see you in a few weeks for the Falconers home opener. Wanna get dinner before hand, while our husbands do their thing?”

“Sure. We’ll see you then. Have a safe flight you three.”

“See yall later!”

The Zimmermann-Bittles walked away, leaving the Poindexter-Nurses on their own. Addison tugged on Dereks hand. “Are we gonna go home now?”

Will grabbed Addison's free hand and smiled. “Yes, Addy-Girl. Home for now.”

“Okay.” Addison gave a tired smile. “It was a good game, Papa.”

“Thanks baby.”

Together, the three of them left the area at the end of another good day.

Derek Poindexter-Nurse hates writing. Its difficult, its time consuming and tedious to do. He hates writing with an undeniable, fiery passion.

Which is why he does it for a living. Obviously.

When it comes to writing, Derek’s been lucky. Hot got published only a few years after college and he quickly made it onto the bestseller list. He has hordes of teenage fans who would probably commit many crimes if he asked them to, all of them clamoring for another installment, another book, another bonus story, another anything. He could give them a five hundred word shit stain and most of them would probably be content. Literally anything.

Which is of course, how Derek found himself holding down the ‘H’ key for ten minutes, thumping his head continuously on his desk, as if that will make the ideas come faster. Usually when Derek gets into a slump like this, he just goes and talks to Will but its early May and the Stanley Cup playoffs are looming in front of the Rangers, so Will’s at practice and will be for another four hours, meaning that Derek is stuck stewing in his own mind indefinitely.

Indefinitely doesnt last for long. Dereks stewing is interrupted by a knock on his study door and it being pushed open to reveal Addison in all of her 13 year old glory.

“Are you okay Dad?” Addison said, looking at her father with a mixture of concern and vague disgust.

“No.” Derek sighed. He thumped his head aginst the wood again.

“Um..” Addison walkedd ina nd leaned against the desk where Derkes head currently was. “Maybe stop hitting your head against the desk? I dont think getting a concussion would be very good for you. Besides, Papa’s gotten enough for the both of you.”

Derek leveled a glare at his daughter but he lifted his head off the desk and sat up. He rubbed the red mark on his forehead. “Ive gotten my fair share of concussions too, ya know. I did play hockey for a lot time.”

“I know, I know, all im saying is that Papa had a concussion like, a month ago. “ Addison shrugged. “So his might be a little more relevant.”

It was true. Will had gotten a harsh check and was out of the game for a while because of it. It was rough on all three of them, just as it always was whenever Will got hurt during games. It always made Derek worry, usually about how much longer Will could play in the NHL or if they should continue letting Addison play in her junior league. It sent his head in swirls and him and Bitty and Caitlin have spent hours talking about the stress of being married to three of the top players in the NHL. And Derek knew that their children have had similar conversations about being the children of NHL stars.

“Dad? Hello?” Addison waved her hand in front of Derek's face to get his attention. “You still with me or did you actually give yourself self a concussion? Do I need to drive you to the hospital?”

“You can't drive yet, Addison. You're 13.”

“I know but I figured that if you had a concussion you would let me try anyways.” Addison grinned.

“And that's where you're wrong.”  

“Worth a shot. So what's wrong?”

Derek let out a long sigh. “Writing is hard, Addy. Don't do it. It isn't a viable career. “

“I mean, it wasnt on my list. I was more thinking hockey.”

“Huh?” Derek stared at his daughter and his heart thumped extra hard. “Really?”

“Well, yeah.” Addison shrugged. “Its what makes sense and I like it a lot. Is there…..something wrong with that?”

Derek let out a breath. The idea of his daughter, his pride and joy, one of the two most important people in his life, playing a dangerous game that both him and his husband loved made him feel nauseous. He knew first hand how dangerous the game was and while he knew that Addison took after her fathers in her love for the game, part of Derek wished that she didnt.

“Just..be careful.” Derek said carefully. He didnt want to admit to her how much it scared him. “You have time to decide. Most kids your age have no idea what they want to do. But, me and Papa will support you no matter what, okay?”

“Okay Daddy.” Addison leaned over and hugged him tightly. Derek hugged her back, putting all of his concerns and hopes into that hug.

“So, how can I help you get past your writing block right now?” Addison asked, pulling away from the hug.

Derek glanced at his laptop, which was just showing a word document full with the letter “H”. An idea tickled at the back of his brain. Something about an over-do meeting between a main character and their parent. A nice conversation about fears. Derek grinned

“You've already have.”

[naptoons]

Triggered-Joel Pimentel

warnings: Sexual Content, Cheating,Mild Language, Alcohol reference.

Theme: Angst

A/N: this is a part two of story of us , this is requested by @cncogirl18 ! i hope it’s great and it meets your request!. Read the first part here!

joel and i have been getting more and more distant for the past 2 years. sometimes i blame it all on tour, sometimes i blame it all on maybe he’s cheating. maybe hes fallen out of love with me. but to be honest i blame it all on me. i pushed him away because im not ready for the limelight. im not ready for the flashing cameras and gosspi pages. most dont even know what i look like, they just thought i was a fanpage commenting under his posts all the time. some he didnt respond to so it didnt look so obvious.it’s been on my mind all day, even my friends noticed it, urging me to go home and talk to him about it. but i cant. maybe  cant because im afraid of the answer.

 leaning back in my chair picking at the peeling skin on my thumbs. debating going to joel’s apartment or heading to the party richard invited me to for his daughter. i might as well go home first, maybe get a nap. getting up from the chair, i grab my keys to his aprtment, heading for the door.

arriving at his apartment i walk in the house,hearing the noise of heavy breathing and muffled moans. the grunts that only i would know. but apprantly im not the only one whom knows it. biting the bullet of crying, i walk towards the living room dropping the keys in the bowl. after today i dont think i wanna come back. walking past the room to the bathroom i hear the voice of someone farmilar.

“i told you, you never loved her, you’d come back to me papi” emlila swoons him in, joel sighs with his feet shuffling against the carpet “why cant you admit it?!” she yells at him “she is nobody anyways why do you care so much?” feeling anger in my broken heart i swing the door open, gritting my teeth against my jawline, the atomsphere turning colder than stone.

“yeah joel, im fucking nobody” i choke through my clogged airways

“baby-” cutting him off i smack his hand away from my frame, i grab my back packing all of things “bre listen it didnt mean anything!” his voice breaking and pleading to get my attention, joel grabs my arm but i push him back making him hit the edge of the dresser groaning in immersed pain. but i feel no remorse.

“if it meant nothing why the fuck did you do it?!” i yell through the tears, i tried to be strong. to not cry in front of him. he didnt deserve my tears, he didnt deserve anything from me at this moment. “get the fuck away from me joel, i never want to see your fucking face ever again” grabbing my packed bag i place it on my shoulders before stepping out the room, i look back at emailia to see her smiling.

“you think you have everything right now, but if he did this to me, what makes you think he wont do it to you?” i pour my venom on her, her smile slowly falling flat and changing into anger “misery loves company, i hope you guys are miserable together karma is a bitch” with my words i feel my shoulders become lighter, running downstairs i hear joel yelling my name behind me, getting to the front door i slam it behind me getting in my car.

“what a fucking fool i am” i breathe out “thinking we could ever be something, neither of us was ready” i grab my phone calling lunay as i back out of his driveway, the tears begin to roll down my cheeks clouding my vision all i can see if dots of red and white lights.

“hola mami” lunay’s voice hones in on my ears. insatly my voice cracks trying to keep it together, i just break down and cry gripping the steering wheel as my knuckles drain the blood from them. “hey bre are you okay? where are you?”

wiping my face i inhale heavily “joel cheated on me” i let out “can i come over?” i ask, before hearing the answer all that fills my ears is the skid of tires on the road, and the reverb of a collision. The vision I once had colored like a void.

Pitch dark.

Opening my eyes to the angelic light, I groan as it burns my cornea, covering them with my fingers I sigh heavily. “Welp I guess that’s a sign to use night mode” I let out, slowly regaining my eyesight looking over at a puzzled wreck of a cousin. Smiling slightly I reach for his hand “hey, what’s got you so tangled up Charlotte?”

“You’ve been unconscious for three weeks, that’s what, and get a better joke that was corny” Christopher smiled slightly at the end, but I could tell that smile was fake. “And I’m wondering should I kill someone” his voice taking the form of malice.

“If you were to do that you couldn’t see your precious cousin” I smile followed by his scoff “wouldn’t say precious” he insults me. Lunay walls into the room sighing of relief “wow, did y’all really think I was going to die?” I laugh “y’all had no hope for me huh? What a sha...” getting my sentence cut off by his hug around my neck, I smile softly my fingers rubbing his back. “Hey you” I let out. He must’ve been so worried.

Lunay has been taking care of me for a whole month. I had to go to recovery, I lost a little bit of feeling in my legs so I started walking little by little, they also recalled my brain is a little fuzzy prior three minutes before the crash. Sadly it didn’t make me forget I got Joel cheating on me. With the girl who tried to break us up even before a label. I guess she got what she wanted. I haven’t seen or heard from Joel since that day. Part of me wants to reach out. But another part says “fuck him he pushed you away” tapping on the bow empty cereal bowl I hear the chunks of shoes hitting the floor.

“Aye mami, you okay?” Lunay rubs my shoulders, moaning at the tension in my body I nod my head slightly “are you sure? I’m here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on”

“Hm no I’m tired of crying, I’m moving on now”

“Aye nena! That’s right, you can do better” he encourages me. Lunay was throwing a party at his house tonight for a celebration on winning an award. I joined in even though Lunay told me I didn’t have to I just couldn’t be soaking in my sadness. It’s not going to fix anything so what’s the point of moping? Grabbing the drink on the counter I gulp it in one shot feeling it burn down my throat rapidly. Every cnco member was here but Joel. Made me wonder is he trying to avoid me? Why should he? He cheated on me he shouldn’t have any shame he knew what he got himself into. He shouldn’t have any shame it’s what he wanted anyways.

Drinking down another shot Richard furrows his eyes at me smiling I wave at him “what’s up Richard? You scared to drink?” I ask him

“Scared of you drinking, I don’t think you’re in the right headspace to be drinking nena” his lips fall in a flat line leaning against the counter, grabbing the bottle of liquor I grab my red solo cup this time.

“I think I’m just fine, I can’t sit around here and fucking waste my time in being sad, it’s been a whole month Richard, im fine” I crack open the cranberry juice to fuse with the liquor. “So stop worrying about me okay?”

“I’m worried about the both of y’all, hoping neither of you collapse first” Richard mumbles while walking away, I wanna ask him what that was about but I’m stopped by Lunay. With the biggest smile on his face.

“Hey? You good having fun?”

“Never better! Let’s dance” grabbing his hand with my left I sip with my right, everyone was bumping and grinding on their designated partner. Everyone here was having a great time. No one had a mask on themselves. Drinking, smoking falling in love in his backyard. Five cups down and the world was spinning. Taking off shoes and dancing on tables. I was dancing it away.

The pain away. Fuck it still hurt.

But there’s always three sides to a story.

His. Mine. And the side neither of us talked about.

Giggling on the couch I lay my head on christopers shoulder “hey cousin how are you?” I slur followed by a hiccup “I haven’t seen you since the hospital what are you up to these days?” My face felt hot and was probably showing hues of red. Maybe even pink.

“Babysitting two broken people is what” Christopher groans, he was rarely serious so this caught me off guard. Being to drunk to even ask I hug him.

“Aye, there’s no use in worrying, you gotta have a hurricane before the rainbow, I’ll be okay I promise”

“I hope so, we don’t want any more collateral damage” he hums in my ear.

The party was over and I watched as the few people that stayed over, Lunay was cleaning up trash until he saw me laying in the couch. “Mami, go to bed, or would you like me to drive you home?”

“Id rather not be alone” I mumble, almost throaty, suppressing the cries I want to let out. I can’t I’m done crying. I’ve been doing it for a whole month.

“Hey” he bends down to my level, running the pads of his thumb on my cheek “you’re never alone I promise” his eyes twinkled in love, I’m feeling the same way I did towards Joel. How can this be true? Have I moved on that quick?

Richard went back to Joel’s apartment, just as he was about to knock on the door, emailia opens it, her face showing signs of panic. “Wheres joel?” She asks

“And you think I would tell you? Plus that’s why I’m here to see was he here” Richard smugly answers

“So wait, hes not with you?” emailia asks

“Nope” Richard grabs his phone dialing his number, but to his demise it goes straight to the voicemail. Richard mumbling a soft curse word under his breath. “His phone is off”

“Oh my god fuck” she paces while chewing on her thumb, Richard looks at her with no sympathy but he just knew his mind had to ask.

“So what lie did you tell him hm?” emailia turns around on her heels looking back at him dumbfounded

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me I didn’t stutter, Joel is completely and utterly in love with bre, what did you say?!” Richard snaps are her, feeling Christopher pull him back slightly, “rich calm down”

“I didn’t tell him anything! He told me he felt bre was fading from him, and the more he tried the more she pulled, all I said was maybe she found someone else”

“Then took his sadness as your advantage to comfort him” Richard spits, walking away slowly

“You know damn well I love him!”

“If you did he wouldn’t be in this situation” Richard mumbles before getting in the car. “So? How are we going to find Joel?”

“We can’t, he’s been so secretive lately. Who knows where he is, the only thing I can think of is just wait for band practice or for him to come home” Richard sighs heavily “this is a fucking hurricane”

The bright sun beams on my eyelashes, squirming I feel a arm wrapped around my waist and the feeling of a chin in my shoulder. Slowly lifting the covers I gaze upon our naked bodies entwined together. Sighing and softly cursing to myself I sink my head deeper in the pillow.

Lunay and I hooked up.

Drunk hookup.

Slowly getting up from the bed I grab my clothes putting them on one by one. Until a hear a husky groan “good morning” he mumbles, my luck. Smiling I make it back to the bed sitting in front of him.

“Good morning” I whisper back

“How you feeling?” He asks

Embrassed.regretful.sad.

“Good, I had a good sleep”

“I imagine so” he jokes, getting up from the bed slowly “look bre, I don’t wanna be your rebound, I know this is the worst timing but, I’ve had a crush on you for the longest, and seeing how broken you are hurts me” freezing at his sudden words I looking down at the my tangled up fingers, “I want you to find what you mean to yourself, I want you to fix yourself, even if that means talking to him again”

“Lunay, I can’t even look him in the eyes and not want to cry”

“So? Isn’t better than wondering and drinking alcohol, not to mention losing your mind not knowing what to do” Lunay grabs my hand kissing my knuckles softly “bre, you deserve love okay? Don’t think that there won’t be someone out there for you”

Nodding my head I decided to face him head on. To talk about the problems I’ve never discussed.

Arriving at Joel’s apartment my stomach drops in depths. Never thought I’d come back here. Having ptsd just by looking at the snowflake walls, the way his plants on his patio are slowly decaying. He really isn’t doing to well just like me. Why is this so hard on him? I’m the one that should be triggered.

Knocking on the door I wait for his answer, the door swings open, smelling like a strand of weed. “Richard I told you-” his sentence is cut off by the sight of my eyes glued in his. “What are you doing here?”

“To talk” I answer

“What is there to talk about, I made you look stupid” Joel sighs

“yeah you’re fucking right you made me look like a fool, but I can’t blame you, maybe I pushed you towards that resort, not saying what you did was okay, but maybe the way I treated you inflicted this” I sigh leaning against the wall “can I come in?”

Joel opens the door for me to come in, closing the door behind me I see the mess his living room is in, I see the empty beer bottles and burned out half blunts. The edibles wrappers over the floor. Looking back at joel I see his hand is wrapped in a gauze. What has he been going through? I grab a bag as I start picking up his trash, “no it’s okay I’ll clean it up” Joel suggests but I grab his hand leading him to the couch.

“Let me help you, let someone help you okay? We gotta stop shoving people out” I stammer through my tears. Finish with cleaning up the mess, Joel and I sit on opposite sides of the couch.

“I’ve had two boyfriends in my lifetime, and when it got past two years, shit just started going downhill, one was abusive and one was a pathological liar and a drug addict” I start off, Joel’s eye filling to the brim with water, with just one touch they would pour down his lips. “It’s tiring opening and closing parts of me just to repeat the cycle, and when you cheated on me, I just saw you as the rest, I yelled at you and blamed you, I claimed you ruined everything, I wanted to fight you guys both, knowing she’d probably sue me or charged me with battery”

“In that heat of the moment I was willing to catch a case for it, cause you know me, when I get mad I get big mad, weeks after my accident I was going to call you, maybe even text you but I couldn’t, when I typed on the bubble I Tried my hardest not to disrespect you After what you did, man, what you expected?” My eyes looking at the tearful golden boy, his cheeks and nose were pink, so was his ears, glistening cheeks swelling up at the minute.

“I felt so Triggered, when I hear your name but also I was Triggered, because I am not okay, I was getting drunk partying hooking up with people all because I still missed you, Of our memories All you meant to meAll that history All that's history” my fingers trembling to grab his hand, caressing my thumb over his.

“But ain't no me and you without you in it, so I just wanna say I’m sorry, I pushed you away and made you feel like I didn’t love you, because I now know I do, I really do love you joel” the tears now falling out of his eyes, mirroring mine in the same gesture.

“I’m sorry too, I should’ve never talked to her about our problems, I should’ve came to you, but it isn’t your fault, I was the one who decided to have sex with her in our bed, no matter what I should’ve came and talked to you” Gravelly his voice echos the room, pulling him towards me, I wrap my arms around his head, letting him sob into my hoodie. As I begin to cry along with him.

“We’re both you blame, all we needed was to communicate” my wobbly voice whispers on his ear. “I accept your apology Joel, just promise we won’t run away from each other” feeling his body stop shuttering his head pulls out hovering over me.

“Yeah, I won’t run unless you promise to not run, and let’s better ourselves” Joel sniffs

“I’m not going anywhere, maybe someday we’d could be something more than friends again, you have my heart joel. We just need to fix ourselves before becoming one, but I don’t mind taking it slow with you”

“No labels? Just chilling?”

“Yeah” I smile caressing his face “slow burns”

“Slow burns”

[wendyimmiller]

Gardening When You Really Don’t Wanna

The most dreaded thing I’ve ever had to face was to be dragged along while my mom took my sisters shopping. Any time this happened, it was beyond awful. A purgatory of boredom and sadness that could last anywhere from endless to eternal.

Picture it this way: I’m an otherwise happy, well-adjusted 5-8 year old boy, but I’m being held hostage in a cavern of clothes racks at some store for the 6th or 7th hour and my arm is being held straight up above my head. All the blood it ever contained has drained from it hours ago, my wrist is gripped white-knuckled tight by an unbelievably strong, terrifyingly frustrated, and appallingly unsympathetic mother, and she is yanking my arm right and left to emphasize each and every syllable–my whole body violently following each yank–from some variation of a sentence that starts with “Mister, you had…” and ends with …”something to cry about.”

Any expedition to go buy clothes was like this. Totally unendurable. But the worst of the worst death marches were treks for Easter outfits. Worse than that? Shoes. Easter outfits? I want to cry right now just thinking about it. What absolute zero is to physics about describes the absolute misery caused by Easter shopping. But, somehow, shopping for shoes was even worse.

There is no telling the amount of pain that went into making this photograph possible.

If I remember right, the main issue with shoes was that one of my sisters had skinny little feet and, for her, there were always several choices of adorably cute shoes. Amazing how much time could leave the universe while deciding exactly which pair, but at the end of the day she went home with nice shoes. On the other hand, my other sister had wide feet and needed “corrective” shoes. This was the double whammy of terrible luck for her and me. The best she ever found were shoes that nuns wouldn’t even wear. Me? A fate that consigned me to dangle from one arm in store after store after store as my mother led us all–wild in sorrow–in an ever widening migration of despair, shoe store to shoe store in what we all knew was a vain pursuit of a cute pair of wide “corrective” shoes.

The sound of this misery–moaning, whining, complaining, crying, and my mother’s hissing, cursing attempts to make it stop–steadily built to a crescendo of unhappiness that–thinking about it–NASA should have recorded and then perpetually beamed into space so as to deter hostile aliens from having any interest in our planet.

Anyway, this is how I spent somewhere around a quarter of my childhood.

And this same level of misery about describes a quarter of my gardening chores. That’s right. Gardening ain’t all wine and roses. You see, I’m not in it for the motions. I don’t garden because I like to push a mower around the yard in a certain pattern. I never have a hankering to go turn a compost heap, or haul brush to the woods, or spread 15-20 yards of mulch. I don’t like trying to figure out why my well-pump isn’t working, and it’s been a very long time since I found anything compelling about digging a hole.

Those activities are merely a means to an end, and the end is a beautiful garden with all the benefits therein: a backyard oasis, a refuge for wildlife, and a safe place to enjoy the sweetest kind of peace on Earth. Bonus credits for a contented wife, adulation from strangers during garden tours, and for a green vegetative kind of privacy that allows open, carefree peeing in the middle of the backyard at any time on any given day during the growing season.

Indeed. All this, not pulling weeds, is why I garden.

And yet even as we speak, here in football season, I have sacks and sacks of bulbs to plant before the ground freezes. It’s been a hard year, I’m kind of gardened out, and no matter how much I try to focus any ESP powers I’ve got, those bulbs just are not going to plant themselves. This, all because I heard Brent Heath speak back in May, got all excited, and placed a big order.

So I will do what I’ve always done: make excuses, put the task off, and try not to think about it too much. And I will do these things for week after week. In certain times when I’m feeling the urgency more greatly, I’ll quietly wish for an injury or a breakdown that will serve as an adequate excuse for failing to get them planted. Eventually however, the day will inevitably come when there’s no room for even one more second of procrastination.

And there I’ll be, on my knees, cold, slimy soil chilling me to my bones, a bitter wind rasping at my face, trying not to smell the dog crap that got on my jeans because it was camouflaged in the leaves, and suffering strange, phantom jerking motions in my right arm. Inside, on TV, The Ohio State Buckeyes are defeating Michigan again. There’s guacamole on the counter. Beer in the fridge. But I’m not inside. I’m outside, and cursing the hell out of that smooth talking Brent Heath.

Another time it’ll be summer. 100 degrees out. And I’ll be cutting down a skanky old crabapple and every single twisty, pokey, gnarly, and ugly branch will have made up its mind to fight me every step of the way. Whatever I want, they’ll want the opposite. They’ll gouge at my eyes. They’ll gash my skin. Nasty, itchy stuff will fall down the back of my shirt. I’ll be sweating, bleeding, and pissed off. There will be no easy angle to position for any single cut. Brush will tangle underfoot. Each of a hundred logs will not stack without a brute force battle of wills, and not one piece of brush will go into the truck and stay there until I’ve discovered–by endless repetition only–the mystical combination of cuss words that will unlock the system. And it’ll suck.

A crabapple displaying full on winter interest in the middle of summer.

Or, it’s mid spring in Ohio and like a complete freakin’ idiot I again jumped the gun and planted out a bunch of tender stuff. I get home from work after dark, it’s 35F and raining, and they’re calling for a hard frost. And, like a damned soul in a Renaissance painting, I’ll inconsolably drag myself outside, and for the next fours hours I will–in fits and starts–construct the world’s twelfth largest shanty town in the backyard from whatever little bits of scrap wood, chunks of rock and rubble, some string, tape, old sheets, blankets, and filthy leftover plastic sheeting I can find in a panicked effort to save a bunch of annuals, tropicals, vegetables, and some expensive fern that Tony Avent said was hardy to Zone 7b, (at least) from a cold, lonely, continental, Z6a, untimely death.

Fun times.

Here’s what follows that: You drag yourself back inside, take a forever long hot shower, down a few shots, and, sitting there as surly as sin, you think really dark and dirty thoughts. Other people aren’t doing this shit. Other people live in condos. They have their thermostats set at “Giant-Ass Carbon Footprint.” So warm they’ve been forced to strip down to teddies and speedos. They’ve over-eaten a fabulous dinner and drank a bottle of wine they don’t even know enough to appreciate. Yep, you were having a cold, wet piece of plastic that smelled mind-blowingly bad whipping back and forth across your face as you, both hands engaged, tried to tack it down over a row of tomato plants, and those condo people were living a bacchanalian existence. And you loathe them.

And, yet, you garden on.

Honestly, I’m mystified. Where does the fortitude come from that gets gardeners outside to suffer through odious tasks under miserable circumstances simply because they need to be done? I don’t know. Really don’t. But I’ve done it. Over and over and over again. And my gardening friends have all done it too. I don’t know, reminds me of something that parents used to toss off at you with a smirk: “Hey, it builds character.” Maybe gardeners have that.

But, I will say this. Winter is long and it dies hard. It rears its ugly head again and again before it’s finally defeated, and there ain’t no better tonic for that than the almost tearful joy a garden full of blooming bulbs brings. They fill the heart, God bless them, combating cold and gray with color and fragrance.

And then comes summer. Hot and humid. Sometimes you just want to run from the house to the car, from the car to the office, and then back again. A/C to A/C. An inside, artificial existence devoid of anything that stokes our human nature. But under a shade tree you’ve tended for years, you can enjoy a tall drink and the hordes of butterflies, bees, and hummingbirds that come to visit that Lantana you saved. And then can pick some of your own tomatoes right from the vine and bring them in for the BLTs you’ll have for supper.

Some other time you’ll find yourself looking at the empty space where a scabby, rusty crabapple once lived, and you will take huge and vicious satisfaction in knowing that it was living its hideous existence and then you sawed it down. It was ugly and now it’s not. It’s gone. And you’re totally responsible. And, yet, you live as a free man. You feel no guilt. Nope. You feel joy. It poked your eyes. It raked your skin. It hurt your back. But all that’s over now. You’ve got a drink, and you’re smiling almost fiendishly as you enjoy the lovely aromas of ribs roasting in its smoldering wood.

You just try not to think too much about the stump you chose not to grub out. Nor that day sometime in the future when you’ll roll in a 400-pound, balled and burlaped, plant du jour that some speaker at some conference got you all excited about. Yeah. Sure enough. That day will come, and it will be woeful. But that’s just how it is. That’s how it’s meant to be. To have this, you gotta do that. And you’d have it no other way.

Gardening When You Really Don’t Wanna originally appeared on GardenRant on September 25, 2019.

from Gardening https://www.gardenrant.com/2019/09/gardening-when-you-really-dont-wanna.html via http://www.rssmix.com/

[crue6xx]

It's cool pt2 [Nikki×Reader]

Warning:smut, mentions of sex and such

Also:some kink? Shit I think i dunno

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You and Nikki have been heated since your last vacation, with Nikki on tour you still hang out and have time for some fun but barely.

And all those blonde girls festering over him you dont mind but you could loose the weight of them, but one night on a tour after a super crazy hiped up show Nikki is in his dressing room you walk in and hes all sweaty and out of breathe he ran over to you nd kissed your cheek "hey ima take a shower" he rushed to the restroom in his dressing room.

You sat down and waited for Nikki to finish his shower, you started hearing moaning and groans, you were a mix of anger and confusion you rushed to the restroom and busted the shower curtain to the side and saw Nikki in the corner of the shower with his dick in hand with his head thrown back

"Oh, Nikki I thought...nevermind" you turned around and stood still for some seconds you started hearing Nikki goign at it again, you soon walked out the room.

You had fone home to the apartment with the boys and you had been napping in Nikki's room. "Yeah I was in thw shower jerking off and ahe just came in like a swat team" Nikki tols the guys "hey I thought you were with Stacy- you stumbled into the room with messy hair and one of Nikki's shirts on and some jean booty shorts you plopped on the couch, "what's up guys" you say with your elbow on the edge of the sofa holding your tilted head, "not much" the guys stepped out of the room to go grab some beers you and Nikki stayed inside "hey Nikki who's Stacy I heard the giys talking"

"No one baby" he said softly "are you sure"

"Look baby I cant get into it" he said trying to give you the hint "c'mon Nikki, sometimes I gotta hear it" "you don't trust me" he looked confused at this point you can really understand anything "I do, I just wanna know" you say making him soft "fine, Stacy was a groupie and she used me to make money and basically become rich off me use me for sex and money and lt broke me" you felt bad about it "as Nikki its ok I won't ever do that to you I love you" he smiled.

It was getting hot in the room, Nikki took his shirt off *damn his has abs* you thought starring at him and biting your lip without knowing "hey what was that huh" Nikki asked raising an eyebrow, snapping out of your trance "huh? Oh nothing" you smiled Nikki laughed.

Nikki had been looking hot sitting down already but you almost melted in a puddle to Nikki unzipping and unbuttoning his pants but keeping them on, he wasnt wearing hnderwear so you saw his pubes a little bit just starring at them he looked at and lauhges while kicking the coffe table a bit

(Btw no ome ia there but you and Nikki so pretend Tommy ain't there)

You notice Nikki grabbing his dick through his pants and intensely rubbing it as kicking the table, "what ya looking at" he barked at you hinting to it "huh nothing" "cmon don't play dumb tell me" you blushed "your giant fucking boner sticking out" Nikki chucked and looked down a bit squeezing the outline of his dick harder in the moment "you want a ride?" Nikki said submissively raising an eyebrow, you got up and sat down beside Nikki on the couch on his side curling into him with his arm aournd your shoulder whilst kissing.

Nikki and you started feeling tgis intence stigma while kissing passionately, Nikki grabbed you and placed you on his lap with your arms around his shoulders and making out, both of your tounges fighting and intwrtwining with each other,after the 20 second make out sesaion on his lap, while bouncing on his lap you kept feeling his rock hard dick rub your clit a little bit, you slightly moan.

Nikki slid his jeans down to his ankles revealing his giant boner you are so horny right now, you take off your bootly shorts ass Nikki slaps your ass and removes your shirt and uncips your bra throwing them to the floor, he toys with your breasts squeezing them and sucking your nipples making you tingle with goosebumps, the hair on tour neck stands out, you feel Nikki's hand run down you legs and reach your inner thigh rubbing your clit until slipping his finger in "your so wet baby" he groaned as your wrapped your hand on his joystick, he teased almost to death "please baby please" you begged Nikki he only smirked and stuck a third finger up you causing you summer "oh Nikki fuck me Nikki I want you to fuck me..please" you begged him mercilessly he had his tip almost in "you want me to what?" "Nikki please..i need you" "tell me what do i do" he smirked "GOD DAMN IT NIKKI FUCK ME I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME" "thats my girl" he stuck it in hard and fast his hips moving up and down as you bounced on his lap, tossing your head back in pleasure, "oh Nikki" you grabbed his locks of black bushy hair "harder....faster" "hmm I can't hear you" "faster" Nikki amped up the speed making you moan loudly and curse words flying out your mouth like all he'll breaking loose.

"Baby I can't......last" Nikki slapped your ass "well im no where near done so hold it in" Nikki going harder and faster deeper and everything with his hands on your hips as he rubbed your clit slowly "Nikki I'm.....oh nikki I'm gonna cum" "no not yet hold it" he moaned and groaned " fuck yeah, god your so fucking wet and warm inside" he went faster and faster and harder and finally you couldn't take it "Nikki please I can't...i can't hold it anymore" "almost there just one more second" Nikki literally rammed you hard "I'm gonna m....cum" he started moaning loudly, "oh fuck babe, cum on my dick, yeah cum all over my hard dick" he said twice you finally came with chills down your back and scrapping his back with your nails tossing your head back "oh Nikki...oh fuck" Nikki pulled out fast and came all over your breasts and clit "oh shit babe" you looked at him in the eyes "god i love you Nikki" he smiled and kissed you looking down noticing he ia still pumping cum out still 6 seconds after you though he was done "omg Nikki how much are you pumping" "I veen savjng up all day since the shower I never got ro finish" you both laughed.

You bent over to grab your clothes only to see 6 pairs of shoes, you look up Mick, Vince, and Tommy all standing there "omg shit" you screech and grab your shirt and cover yourself "how long have you been stand- "2 minutes" Mick says blankly Nikki just sitting back smirking but embarrassed "woah dude nice load"Tommy says looking over vinces shoulder "wow Nikki I disnt expect to walk in and see you fucking your girl in our couch and yelling cum on my dick but I did" Vince says kind of surprised "well I'm nit surprised" Mick says grabbing a bottle of jack Daniel's and plopping on the couch opposite to were you are you put your shirt on and hop off Nikki's lap and sit next to him curling up in his side with his arm wrapped around you "Nikki pulls up his jeans, still unbuttoned and unzipped "I didnt expect to be walked in on while cumming so mt bad" Nikki saying sarcastically "it's cool" Tommy says on rhe couch as Nikki takes his embarrassment.

[crue6xx]

Heh reader×Mick pt.2

(WARNING: detailed smut lots of cursing)

Its been 5 months now and you and Mick have been dating, its great its fun but there is less sex because they are always on tour and Micks not like the other guys he doesn't just pull you into a bathroom to do it, he wants you to enjoy it.

You always sit next to him and play with his hair talk about conspiries and what not being cute dorks, one night though you find yourself in a rocky situation.....Mick is in a bit of a mood after a show because some fan decided to throw a glass cup at Nikki, thank god he's ok but Mick is pissed and wants to cool down, being really heated isn't his thing but this time it's new territory, you dont know how to help.

"I hope that ass hole dies, it was glass for fucks sake" you sit next to him at the dinner table witht he boys. "Really Mick I'm fine I just have a minor cut" Nikki says hoping to calm Mick down Mick nodes but you can still see he is mad "so who here decided to have pizza mash potatoes and sausage?" You ask confused "oh its all we could scramble up for the night, Nikki foind a girl who bought him pizza, the girl I found bought me mash potatoes and Mick- before he finished you relized the pattern they find some girls pretend date then free food your eyes darted to Mick realizing he was out before dinner and by the time he got back dinner was served.

The guys all looked at each other Mick kept eating through the silence not looking up, "hey I think your gurl wants to talk dude" Mick looked up to you starring at him, no I buy my food. You go back to eating and kiss Mick on the cheek, again you notice he starts moving around again to get comfortable, he sighs and keeps eating not even 5 bites in so he has to sit there for a bit, you notice under the table what going on and see the huge bulge in his pants, you started to eat faster and you began at the 2 sausages on your plate, "damn are you trying to suck him off or just rip his dick off" the guys laugh and you are now finished Tommy Nikki and vince put their plates up but you and Mick are finished but stay at the table you get up and mick grabs more pizza to stall from getting up and the guys seeing his boner.

They just stand there and wait "you guys can go in good I'm still hungry", the boys leave, you decide to go under the table you run your hand up his thigh and grab the sides of his pants and move them to his dick, you unzip him and start going at it, he leans his head back in pleasure you go up the side and tease him by only sucking the tip and he is quaking and moaning "oh fuck...fuck".

You hear the door open and you stop but he doesnt hear a thing and puajes your head back down, "oh fuck.....yeah..oh my god" he moans still with his eyes closed and head back, you dont hear foot steps so you go back the the tip again, "oh fuck im close..so fucking close..yeah I'm gonna come in ur mouth" you are suprised how he talks during sex because in general he's not so dirty, he finishes with a loud but soft sexy moan "oh fuck" he looks down and helps you up, he gets up, "in up for another roud if you wanna go to the bedroom" he said "but give me a minute" you nodded and graves some water and swished it around for moth with mouthwash and went back to the living room, where he was waiting with himself out he lied there strocking himself with his eyes closed, you get undressed and hop on him instead he flips you over and you put you legs around his shoulders, he slips on a condom and gets to it, he leans down to kiss you while going faster bt the second stopping at this speed, your hands run down his hips and pull him down fully on you .

He soon finishes, a moan leaves his mouth the guys walk into the house unannounced to Mick pulling up his trousers and you under covers "man, I had no idea I could go that fast, I'll do that next time" the guys start laughing, you look over "Tommy you bastard"

"What not like I havent walked in on you at work that one time, I think yesterday Mick went to your job and started fucking you in the changing room" the guys laughed and patted Mick on the back and left to their rooms, "next time somewhere were they can't really see" "yeah" you agreed..

To be continued