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from-the-clouds · 4 years ago

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Kiss Me More (Part IIII) - Zemo/Reader

Masterlist | Part One | Part Two | Part Three |

Summary: Reader ponders the decision they made after meeting Zemo in Riga. Series now complete!

Words: 5.2k

Warnings: Kissing, marijuana & alcohol abuse, heavy angst & depression, small reference to suicide, implied casual sex, yearning

A/N (also check out A/N at end when finished reading): This is it, everyone! I was going to end this completely differently originally, but after some thinking -- and some light peer pressure from ya’ll, I did something a little different. I did fight with this part the most out of all of them, so I hope it’s still good. Please enjoy. And thank you for all the love on this series, it’s been so fun to write! Also I was listening to this song while writing this.

---

The incessant buzz of her alarm clock jolted her out of her dreamless sleep. Fumbling in the dark, she slapped the top of it, hitting the snooze button and looking at the interface with bleary eyes.

4:00 A.M. It stared, indifferent, back at her tired face.

She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and lamenting, bargaining, half expecting the clock to turn back time when she opened her eyes again. Unfortunately, it did not. With a huff, she threw back the covers and stretched, disturbing the orange cat that slept in the empty spot next to her where her husband used to lay.

Snorting, the cat lifted its head to look at her as she climbed out of bed before curling back up in a ball where her feet had been.

“Don’t mind me, just getting ready for work so I can feed us,” she said, grumpily, then in a moment of repentance, affectionately scratching her behind the ears.

She had always been a night owl, so she didn’t think it would be possible to ever get used to waking this early. No human was meant to function at this time. It was the one part of the job she hated most. The rest of it was manageable, though it was still work.

Setting about her morning routine, she showered, made coffee, and donned her uniform. Eating a day-old bagel and nursing her coffee on her tiny balcony, she looked out over the darkened horizon. It was far too early to even enjoy a sunrise.

There was a saying, time heals all wounds. After her husband died, she’d heard it a lot. It was a saying she had come to find true. But it’d been well over a year since she’d left Helmut, alone in that swanky hotel room, and it still hurt like it was yesterday.

“I understand,” he’d murmured, and she felt the ghost of his kiss on her forehead, arms around her waist, even now. She shivered, not from the chill of the morning air.

She’d left her old life behind, all of it. Sam and Bucky, too, about a month after their time in Riga. She couldn’t look them in the eyes after what she’d done.

But, she was proud of what they’d accomplished. They’d defeated the Flag Smashers. Bucky seemed happier, more at peace. Sam had accepted his role as the new Captain America. John Walker seemed to have faded into irrelevancy. All the loose ends had been tied up in a pretty little bow.

Except for hers.

Which is why she moved, sold all the stuff in her tiny NYC apartment, and packed her car full with what she couldn’t bear to part with, some photos and momentos from a different lifetime. Her car didn’t stop until she hit the Atlantic Ocean, on an island just south of Charleston. All but undiscovered by tourists, the residents in the sleepy beach town kept to themselves, and she could go about her life in peace, undisturbed.

She couldn’t just run away from her problems, that was why she’d left Zemo. It seemed counterintuitive, but in her mind, it made sense. The problems would catch up to her, like they always had. The dissatisfaction she had with her life, with herself, was always going to return. And she knew she had to be alone to deal to face it head on. Like a wounded animal, crawling into the woods, there were only two ways things could end here; either she’d heal and come out stronger, or eventually she’d die. And so far, the healing part wasn’t going great.

Each day was a matter of convincing herself that she’d made the right choice. Especially now, as her eyes burned, fighting to stay open against the inviting embrace of sleep.

Despite it being dark outside, the bakery was bustling already when she walked in the service entrance. It smelled amazing, as always. Sweet and warm, a cacophony of aromas, baking bread, fresh coffee, sugar.

She set about the usual preparations to open up, packaging orders for the regulars, sweeping the floor, wiping down countertops. Once the place was open, she didn’t have to work the register, as she prepared batches of dough in the back for proofing, to be baked the next day.

Before, she’d been a terrible cook, but she’d grown comfortable in the kitchen after learning to bake. There was something satisfying about working with her hands, at this point she’d memorized all the recipes and the work became second nature to her. Now, she always had fresh bread and pastries in her kitchen, although they were the slightly disformed, ones the shop owners deemed too ugly for the glass display cases. Daylight was cherished, even if she barely saw it inside the shop. Because while she was awake, busy with work, her thoughts remained pleasant.

At night it was the hardest. Things got quiet, lonely. When she got home, she poured herself a drink. Cheap whiskey, the kind that came in a plastic bottle and burned on it’s way down. She had never been much of a drinker before, she was now. Her thoughts were more manageable after a drink. Especially because she was usually thinking of Helmut.

It was often that she wondered what he may be doing, and those thoughts usually ended with the image of him lying in the sun, poolside, on some island in the Pacific Ocean, drinking expensive champagne with a supermodel. It wasn’t a particularly comforting thought to her, and yet she was plagued by some variation of it every night.

Sometimes, she’d humor herself, and imagine what they might be doing had she decided to stay with him. Unfortunately, thinking of that was more upsetting. She wanted it, selfishly, though she wasn’t willing to admit it.

When she was younger, it had been so easy to block out the pain, to just press forward, no matter what. Much to her dismay, it didn’t get easier as she got older. Years of watching those she loved in pain, years of being in pain had taken a toll on her resilience. She wasn’t the strong woman she once was, she was weak.

That night, one drink had turned into two, into three. Wallowing in her own self-pity had become second-nature, she felt like Hamlet, lamenting her circumstances, a constant turmoil monologuing in her brain. But this night felt particularly worse, for some reason.

For the record, she had been doing better. But she was all-too-familiar with how grief worked, pulling her back down the dark side of the mountain, where she was forced to fight her demons over and over again. At some point, they were going to win.

It was a funny thing. Despite the loss of her husband, who she had loved dearly, his death had been easier to accept. Final. She couldn’t bring him back. Helmut on the other hand, was still out there, an open wound that could never fully heal.

Before she knew it, she was four drinks in, at her bedside table, fumbling through the bottom drawer, until she found what she was looking for.

Back on her couch, she stared at the card in her hand, the hastily written phone number on it, an international line. Helmut had given it to her, the day she left, stuck it in her purse while she wasn’t looking. She didn’t discover it until she had returned home.

It had been months since she last did this, pulled the card out of its hidden place in her drawer, placed it on the coffee table in front of her next to her phone, and considered dialing it. It had been a frequent occurrence when she first moved here, when she couldn’t find a job and spent most of her mornings either hungover, or stumbling home from rendezvous with men whose names she wouldn’t remember, and she wouldn’t care to, because there was only one man she really wanted. She could only hope he’d be as close as one call away. But she never called.

I mean really, he’d probably moved on by this point. If she was going to call, she should have done it months ago, when there was more of a chance that he’d give a fuck.

She considered this a setback. But she’d made her way halfway through the cheap bottle of whiskey, it was the drunkest she’d been in ages and she was curious. She didn’t know whose number it was, who’d be on the other end of the line, and never knew why Helmut would want her to have it to begin with.

At this point, she wasn’t capable of good decision making. In general, it hadn’t always been her strong suit. So why did doing the right thing matter now? It didn’t, she decided.

Taking a swig of whiskey straight from the bottle, she ensured she wouldn’t remember what happened next, at least not clearly.

The phone rang twice before someone picked up. “Hello?” she didn’t recognize the sound of the man on the other end of the line immediately, so she didn’t answer. All she had wanted to do was maybe hear Helmut’s voice, he didn’t even need to know it was her that was calling.

“Hello?” the man repeated, and she realized it wasn’t completely unfamiliar. The grandfatherly, comforting tone wasn’t her former lover, but someone close to him. And she supposed that wasn’t terrible.

“Is this Oeznik?” she asked.

“It is,” he said after some hesitation. “May I ask who’s speaking?”

Truthfully, she was shocked she’d allowed herself to go this far. This was a bad idea. If she stopped now she could get off without doing any real damage. But just as she was about to hang up, she heard her name, muffled, on the other end of the line.

“H-How do you know it’s me?” She raised the phone back to her ear.

“I thought you sounded familiar,” Oeznik chuckled, low and soft. “Helmut told me you might call.”

“He did?” she squeaked. “Yes, although it was awhile ago. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I uh….I….well….” she managed. “I guess I just….I guess I wanted to see how he was doing.” Her words flowed together like the liquor she was drinking, she knew she sounded drunk.

“Good, since we last spoke,” he said. “I don’t hear from him much these days...maybe every couple months. As you might imagine, he’s trying to keep a low profile for the time being.”

She nodded. Perhaps Zemo was as lonely as she was, hidden away in some cabin in the middle of nowhere. Though she had to imagine it looked much nicer than her current place, and maybe he had better company than a portly orange cat that begrudgingly liked him. “I understand.”

“How have you been?” he asked.

It sounded stupid, but she realized it was the first time someone had asked her that. Sincerely. Checked up on her. Even if she was the one who had dialed the number in the first place.

“I’m good,” her voice cracked. “Just keeping busy.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “Helmut always had such nice things to say about you.”

“Really?” she couldn’t stop herself.

“Of course, would you like me to let him know you called?”

“No, no...I wouldn’t want to bother him,” she choked on her words, something catching in her throat.

“Are you sure you’re alright, dear?”

“I’m okay, I just….” she felt tears prick at the back of her eyes, lowering her voice, since she didn’t think her normal register would come out as anything other than a whine. “I think I made a horrible mistake.”

“What’s the matter? What did you do?”

She shook her head, shaking the tears loose and now they were lining her lashes, threatening to spill over. However, she managed to make the next words she spoke come out clearly. “Nothing, I just...it’s really stupid, I really shouldn’t have called.”

He sighed on the other end of the line, and she felt like, despite her attempt at staying calm, he could still see that she wasn’t somehow. “It seemed Helmut was awfully sweet on you,” Oeznik’s words next came hesitantly, calculated. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but he told me if you ever called, to help you with whatever you might need, no matter the ask.”

Oh God, what had she done? A sob left her, one she couldn’t control, and she clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle any more. Her tears were flowing freely now, tracking down her cheeks and along her chin. She wiped at them clumsily, clearing her throat.

“That’s very kind of him, but you can’t help me. I’m so sorry to bother you, please just forget I even called,” she forced a smile on her face so that hopefully he could hear it. “Goodbye.”

She hung up, horrified, and within seconds had deleted the call log from her phone. She’d been thoughtful enough not to memorize the number, and the lighter she used whenever she smoked sat in front of her. Without a second though, she burned the card, watching the paper blacken and disintegrate, until it was all but a pile of soot on her Wal-Mart coffee table. It was a fair punishment, and ensured she’d never get the chance to embarrass herself like that again.

And then she cried, sobbed into a pillow next to her, until her tears ran dry and she wore herself out, falling asleep on the couch alone. When she’d wake the next morning, the only evidence of her actions would be a throbbing headache and a dead phone.

She wouldn’t remember the call.

----

Life went on, as it always did. It had been about a month, and since that night she grew more indifferent, remembered how to ignore heartbreak. For now, she was stuck in her purgatory, waking up before the sun and falling asleep before it set, smoking joints, drinking cheap liquor, and going on the occasional date with people who she didn’t really like, tourists who would leave after a week and wanted temporary company.

Despite everything, she partly believed things were getting better. Maybe they weren’t, but the possibility that someday they would seemed feasible. And that was enough, for now.

On her days off, she’d walk to the beach and lay on a blanket, reading a book until the sun dipped below the horizon and lit up the sky in hues of pinks and purples. She found a record player at an antique store and began collecting vinyls, listening to obscure artists whose albums she found in the $1 bin. It wasn’t so bad. Life wasn’t so bad.

She took a shower after work. Tomorrow was her off day, and she wasn’t sure what she had planned besides maybe watching a movie and getting stoned. Maybe she’d try going to the beach. The weather was getting warmer, and she could even go swimming if the water wasn’t too cold.

Exhausted from her day of work, she laid down in her bed, still in her robe, her hair wrapped in a towel around her head. The sun was setting outside, the windchimes she’d hung outside slowly clanging together, birds singing in the warm spring air. Her cat hopped on the bed, offered an affectionate trill and curled up at her side, purring, in a rare display of affection. A cool breeze drifted through the open window. And for the first time in over a year, she felt content. Closing her eyes, she savored the moment, committed it to memory, so she could recall it the next time she was drunk-crying in front of her TV.

She fell asleep slowly, so slowly that when she woke, startled by something in her kitchen clattering to the floor, it felt like she hadn’t even been sleeping at all. The clock next to her red 11:31 p.m. and it was pitch dark outside, the cool breeze from before had grown stronger and her bedroom curtains were billowing, wind whistling loudly through the apartment. Her cat had left her side, and she frowned, shivering in the sudden cold.

Pulling the towel off her head, she made her way over to the window with the intention to close it, sleepily, lazily, until she heard something else. A creak in the floorboard. A heavy footstep in her kitchen. That wasn’t just her cat.

Some kind of muscle memory was ignited then, an ancient instinct that called to her from a different lifetime. Darting across the room, the gun she kept was in her hand, stealthily pulled from its hiding spot beneath her mattress. Truth be told, she never thought she would’ve needed it. Anyone looking for her would be smart enough to kill her in her sleep, not be so foolish as to wake her first with their heavy footsteps.

A dark silhouette stalked through her kitchen, moving slowly. It was a man, she assumed, based on his broader figure, and lack of coordination. In her experience, women were often stealthier without trying. He took another step, the floor creaking below him, shuffling on bargain linoleum.

Staying low, she crept forward, ducking stealthily behind furniture, avoiding the spots on the floor she knew made noise. It didn’t appear the intruder had a weapon, in fact, it seemed he was bumbling about, searching for something. A burglar, and a bad one at that. An island full of vacation homes owned by rich doctors and they thought they’d find valuables in her shitty apartment?

It wasn’t until she was standing directly behind him, gun aimed at his head, that she finally spoke up.

“I believe you’ve come to the wrong place,” she said flatly. “Whatever you’re looking for, it’d be in your best interest to leave empty-handed.”

Her eyes were still adjusting to the dark, but the intruder froze, arms slowly raising in defeat, empty-handed, as he turned around to face her. In the dingy room, she couldn’t make out any of his features, could only see that he was clad in all black.

“Unfortunately, liebling, that wasn’t my intention.”

She would’ve recognized that voice anywhere, though the endearment he’d used was enough to clue her in. Hitting the lightswitch with her free hand, she was face to face with the man she’d spent the past year trying to purge from her memory, Helmut Zemo.

Her gut twisted, her mind raced, but the only thing currently bubbling up, over the surface of every other emotion was the pure, seething rage left behind in the wake of fearing for her life.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she stepped towards him, gun still raised, fuming.

“Hey, hey!” he staggered backwards, hands raised, eyes averted.

“I thought you were a fucking robber!” she hissed. “I thought you were here to kill me!”

“Lower your voice,” he scolded. “You’re going to wake your neighbors.”

Taking a deep breath, she realized she still had her gun trained on him and she lowered it, clicking the safety and discarding the weapon on the countertop. “What the fuck?” she asked. “What the hell is wrong with you? What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I didn’t know you had such a mouth on you,” he smirked, but she wasn’t finished, and she glowered at him.

“You broke into my apartment!” she growled.

“I had to be sure I was in the right place.”

“Yeah? You couldn’t have knocked first?”

He nodded, eyes trailing down to her hands, which were trembling, she hadn’t even realized. He seemed to understand what he’d done then, and she flexed her fingers, eyes locking with his. “I suppose...you may be right,” he said, surrendering.

She felt the rage subsiding as she took in his appearance. He looked not so different from the last time she’d seen him, except a fair amount of stubble covered his jawline in a short beard. He was still devastatingly handsome. Zemo’s dark eyes, filled with longing, drank her in, tilting his head as his gaze shifted to her lips. It was like she could read his mind, she knew what he wanted, what he was thinking. And her body was going to betray her if he kept it up.

Despite everything, she was still upset. Upset and embarrassed, as the light was doing an unflattering expose of her tiny, cluttered apartment, full of mismatched furniture and water-damaged wallpaper that her landlord refused to replace. It probably gave the prison cells that Helmut had spent years in a run for their money, and was in stark contrast to every other aspect of his life.

“What’s this?” he asked, gesturing to the empty liquor bottles on her countertop, stowed in her trash can. “Have you been drinking?”

“Not tonight,” she quipped, on guard. Had to be. As much as some old instinct told her to throw herself into his arms, press her lips to the underside of his jaw, and let him envelope her in the comfort of his embrace, she knew she couldn’t.

“Hmm,” he brushed past her, frowning, looking disappointed, as he made his way to her living room.

“How did you find me?” she asked, eyeing him wearily.

“I’m a wanted man, I trace every call that comes into my estate,” he said over his shoulder.

Helmut was taking inventory of the cramped space, staring at the photos she’d hung in a collage on the wall behind her couch, with a few watercolors painted by her late husband. One in particular, that he was focused on now, was from her wedding. Of all the memories she chose to hang, this one was her fondest, her former partner was all dark curly hair falling into deep blue eyes, and she was the portrait of a blushing bride, wearing a dopey love-drunk smile, gazing at him, ignoring the camera.

“You looked so beautiful on your wedding day,” he said, turning over his shoulder to look at her. He was so out of place here, standing in her living room, for a moment she thought he might be a hallucination, some physical manifestation of the heartbreak she’d experienced. “Although that doesn’t surprise me.”

She flushed, suddenly self-conscious in her thin black robe and still-damp hair. It occurred to her that she wasn’t looking her best, which made this whole situation that much more disconcerting. However, the compliment disarmed her slightly, and the anger she felt began to dissipate, slowly. She was going to offer him something to drink until her cat, who had been absent through the chaos, suddenly jumped up on the back of the couch and promptly hissed at him in an attempt to defend her territory.

“Pumpkin, be nice,” she said, although it was mostly to placate Helmut. Pumpkin never listened to her.

Helmut let her sniff his hand, and she was stunned when the cat rubbed her face against it. Of course, Pumpkin would like him of all people. That made sense. Then again, she supposed it made them not so different. He turned away to look at the rest of the room. “I see you haven’t kicked that bad habit you told me about,” he gestured at the ashtray full of roaches on the coffee table.

“Did you just come to my place to insult me?” she asked, putting her hands on her lips and feigning confidence. She could’ve rolled over and cried and told him how much she missed him, how many nights she’d spent crying over him, and while all of it was true, she felt indignation was the better option for her self-preservation.

“That’s a good question,” Helmut turned to face her now, hands in the pockets of the leather jacket he was wearing. Completely inappropriate for the weather here, but he didn’t seem to notice, or care. “Why do you think I’m here?” he asked.

She shrugged, feigning indifference. “I don’t know, but you shouldn’t be.”

He snorted, his frustration evident, and she saw a glimpse of the man that so many feared, the side that had earned him his dangerous reputation, that had him locked away in a high-security prison for nearly a decade. “I didn’t come all this way for nothing, draga, we’re going to have it out.”

“Fine,” she said, lacing as much venom as she could into her words to prepare herself. “Then get on with it.”

He stared her down, and the expression her wore startled her, something sparkled in his eyes, mischief, relief maybe? It was insulting. Like he didn’t take her seriously. But there was something else there, too, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but it was wiped from his visage before it registered.

The tension in the room dissipated slightly when Zemo sat on the arm of the worn couch she’d bought from a yard sale, and she winced. “I spoke to Oeznik the other day,” he said flatly, snorting, eyes focused on a stain on one of the rugs she owned. “He told me he had the pleasure of speaking to a friend of mine about a month ago.”

Frowning, she tilted her head, her eyes meeting Helmut’s. Something in her brain sparked a memory she’d once dismissed as a dream after a particularly bad night of drinking.

“He was concerned, you see, because this friend didn’t seem to be in the best state of mind,” Helmut rose from the arm of the couch, stalking forward slowly, and she couldn’t move backwards, not even if she wanted to, as he could pin her easily against the front door. His voice grew louder, faster as he went on. “He said she was crying, slurring her words, he told me he thought maybe she might be-” Helmut cut himself off abruptly and closed his eyes, clenching one of his fists, a look of distress on his face as he took in a terse breath. “I won’t finish that thought, but you’re a smart girl, you can imagine what I’m getting at.”

Swallowing hard, the phone call came back to her in pieces, the tears, sobbing on the phone to a man she hardly knew. It was the night she finally admitted to herself she’d made a mistake, even though she’d already known it, deep down when she left him in the hotel room.

“Please forgive me for breaking in tonight,” Helmut said. “But I couldn’t bear the thought of you not answering the door, I needed to see with my own eyes that you were okay.”

Exhaling through her nose, she looked at the floor. “It’s not like that. I had too much to drink.” she said, keeping her voice as steady as possible. “It was just a bad night.”

“Then tell me, what was the horrible mistake you made?” he asked, stepping closer. He was close to her, now. So close. And his proximity made everything more difficult.

God, if only she could remember exactly what she’d said, the only thing that came to her were the emotions, desperation, sadness, grief. It was all too much, and he was threatening to bring them all back to destroy her again.

“I shouldn’t have called,” she said, shaking her head. “And I’m sorry. What do you want me to say? What do you want from me?”

“What do I want from you?” He asked, tilting his head, his eyebrows pulling together. “Do you have any idea how worried I was? How hard it was to sit on a plane when all I wanted to do was be here? With you?” His hand rose to cup her cheek, stopping just short of her face when she flinched away from his touch.

“Please stop,” she managed, the burn of tears behind her eyes almost menacing. The last thing she needed was to cry in front of him. “You’re undoing everything.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“You’re….you’re here,” she murmured weakly, wetness seeping, glossing over her pupils. “I only have so much capacity for pain right now, if you touch me now, you’ll ruin everything.”

No one ever had this kind of hold on her, she’d never bent her rules to appease anyone else, and she’d gone toe to toe with super soldiers. He was just a man, and yet, he terrified her.

“You really want me to leave?”

She couldn’t answer, but one tear escaped, sliding down her cheekbone, and she sniffled.

“I’m not the one who did this to you,” his thumb, swiped along her face gently, wiping it away. He’d touched her, just barely, and she was reeling.

“I know,” she stuttered, gasping. “I know it was me, but I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“You are so stubborn.” His expression softened as he looked upon her, his thumb tracing underneath her jaw, tilting her head upwards to look at him. Malleable, she obliged. “I’ve thought about you everyday since the night we spent together. You’ve plagued me. That can’t be a coincidence. Are you really happier this way? You must be honest with me.”

She shook her head, blinking out fresh tears. “No, I’m not. I just thought...by the time I realized I made the wrong choice, you’d have moved on. People like us don’t get to be happy.”

“Says who?”

How could she refuse him anymore? This would continue to go on until she gave in. And from the beginning, she wanted to give in. There was no use in fighting the inevitable. The small point of contact -- his hand on her chin -- radiated impressive warmth, and she could feel every part of herself being attracted to him, quelling some ache deep within her.

Reaching up, she clutched at Helmut’s palm, which didn’t last long, because he pulled her into his arms, nestling her head underneath his chin. She melted into his embrace, finding solace in the warmth of his solid frame.

“Come home with me,” he coaxed softly.

“I will,” she murmured, surrendering to the comfort of his presence. “But you have to let me bring Pumpkin.”

He chuckled, warm and amiable, the vibration of his chest echoing in her own. “Of course, you’ll bring Pumpkin,” he murmured into her hair. Oh, how she had missed hearing him laugh. They could’ve stayed that way for hours, and she would’ve been content, but he pulled away, hands on either side of her face as he studied her.

Unable to hold back any longer, she leaned in to kiss him. It was chaste at first, all the memories of her last night with him came flooding back quickly when he parted his lips to deepen the kiss, but she didn’t want that quite yet, just needed a moment to process this. The simple comfort of being held by him, kissed by him, was more than enough for now. He’d been waiting for this, she could assume in the way that he responded, pulling her impossibly close so she was engulfed in him.

Her stomach flipped, a warmth blossoming in her chest as he pulled away, their foreheads touching. “Oh, I missed you,” she sighed, shivering as his beard tickled her neck, his mouth on her sensitive skin.

“And I, you,” he murmured. His eyes studied her, carefully, up close, and for the first time since meeting him, she really let him see her, teary-eyed and vulnerable.

She would never let him go again.

---

A/N: So here we are! I know it’s been a ride, but I’m really excited for these two. However, I don’t feel like I’m done writing for Zemo yet. If ya’ll have any headcanons, thoughts, questions, requests, etc, feel free to drop them in my ask box or shoot me a DM. I’d love to talk more about him. I also would be down to write more oneshots based around this series, because I am sort of like….okay, they obviously have a connection, but they don’t know that much about each other, and I may or may not have a light future already mapped out for them. I might do an epilogue at some point even. But if you have anything you’d like to add, let me know!

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xanthippe74 · 4 years ago

Text

Drarry ficlet: Momento mei

2399 words | general audiences | angst with a happy ending

Thanks to @glittering-git for the beta!

Read below or on AO3 here.

Memento mei

It seemed like a blessing at first.

In the months after the war ended, the articles chronicling Harry’s deeds in the Prophet slowly waned from full pages of lavish words and photographs, to barely a mention of his name. Harry felt lighter for it, free. By the time the first term back at Hogwarts was almost over, he could go to Hogsmeade without worrying about flash bulbs startling him every time he stepped out of a shop.

“They finally got tired of you, mate,” Ron said with a laugh as they trudged back to the school after a morning of Christmas shopping. Harry scooped up a handful of snow and rubbed it, none too gently, into Ron’s grinning face.

Harry and Ginny’s break-up didn’t get so much as a mention, even in Rita Skeeter’s gossip column, which had been relegated to an ignominious corner ten pages back from the front page. When he came out as bisexual and briefly dated Terry Boot that spring, he braced himself for a fresh round of publicity. It never materialised.

Harry looked in the mirror of the eighth-year boys’ bathroom and found he was truly comfortable in his own skin for the first time. His life wasn’t going to be scrutinised and dissected for public consumption anymore. The people around him didn’t think he was a freak or a waste of space.

One year after the war, with a handful of NEWTs to his name, Harry was at a loss for what to do next. There was no particular career he felt inclined to pursue, so he put his energy into renovating Grimmauld Place and spending time with his godson. He wondered at times why no one had offered him a job—Ron and Hermione had been deluged with letters—but he never mentioned it to anyone. It would have sounded awfully big-headed to expect anything to be handed to him like that, much less complain about it. While his friends began training programmes and apprenticeships, Harry Vanished broken furniture and stripped mildewy wallpaper off the walls. On the weekends, he met the usual Hogwarts gang for pub night or a party in someone’s cramped flat.

Harry looked in the mirror on his way out to meet his friends, giving his hair one last check. Maybe he’d meet someone new tonight. He winked at his reflection before leaving his newly-renovated bedroom.

Two years after the war, Harry didn’t think twice about walking through Diagon Alley on a busy Saturday. There were no stares or requests for autographs, no whispers when he paused to look into a shop window. He met friends for leisurely lunches. He ate ice cream at a table in front of Fortescue’s and watched people strolling by in the summer sunshine. Once, Harry walked the entire length of Diagon without realising that George had flicked a spell at the back of his head as he’d left the joke shop.

Harry looked in the mirror when he got home and was bemused by the things that didn’t warrant a second glance in the magical world, like hair that shifted between purple and orange every five seconds. He went over to Andromeda’s house to show Teddy, who laughed to see his godfather’s hair change colours like his did.

Three years after the war, Harry’s friends started forgetting to invite him to things. At first, they laughed it off as absentmindedness or a simple oversight. “I’m sorry, Harry! It must have slipped my mind,” was an excuse he began to hear more and more often. And then they began to look confused when he confronted them, like it was strange for Harry to expect to be included at all. As the months went by, the hosts of the get-togethers weren’t the only offenders—not a single person seemed to notice when Harry didn’t show up for something. When he mentioned it later, they would only lament all the fun he’d missed out on. His frustration curdled into self-pity.

Harry looked in the mirror the day he found out he’d missed Lavender’s engagement party, studying his unremarkable features and the unremarkable haircut he’d had since he was eighteen. Was he really so boring and unimportant that nobody thought about him much anymore? He didn’t mind in the least that the wizarding world wasn’t fawning over him, but it cut deeply that the people dearest to him no longer seemed to want or need his company.

It was only when his closest friends stopped recognising him that Harry began to suspect that something was terribly wrong. The first one was Luna, but she was often so lost in her own thoughts that it didn’t strike him as odd that she’d drifted past him in Diagon without saying hello. Then Molly looked at him blankly one day when he arrived at the Burrow for Sunday roast, as if Harry were a stranger who’d wandered in by accident. Thankfully, Ron was passing through the kitchen and greeted him as he usually did. Molly gave herself a little shake and ushered them both into the lounge.

Four years after the war ended, Minister for Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt didn’t mention Harry’s name in his speech commemorating the Battle of Hogwarts.

Hagrid didn’t invite Harry to tea for his birthday, as he did every year.

And when Harry popped into Neville’s flower shop to wish him happy birthday, Neville responded to his greeting with a baffled look. Harry watched in horror as he turned to Hannah and mouthed the words, “Who’s that?”

Harry spun on his heel and went right back out the door.

Either he was going mad or everyone else was. He walked around London for half the night, unable to think straight. The city was a vast ocean, and Harry felt like a small boat that had been set adrift, tossed around by waves of panic. When he was calmer, he decided to turn to the two people he knew he could always count on for help.

On his twenty-second birthday, Harry woke up on his sofa and rushed to the Floo to call Hermione before she left for work. He was flooded with relief when he heard footsteps approaching the fireplace. Ron’s face appeared in the flames—and immediately twisted into anger when he saw Harry.

“How did you get this address? Who let you into our wards? Get out!”

Harry sat on the floor for a long time after Ron had slammed the Floo connection closed.

Alone. Alone. Alone.

Oh, god—Teddy. Harry scrambled to his feet. Would Teddy shy away from Harry as he would from a stranger, the next time they saw each other? He stumbled up the stairs and dry heaved over the toilet.

Harry looked in the mirror and prodded his chalky face with his forefinger. Did he look unrecognisable to everyone but himself now? Did they see a different face, a different person when they looked at him? Or were they all under some kind of spell that erased their memories?

How had he been forgotten by everyone who loved him?

Forgotten.

You will be forgotten.

The phrase echoed in Harry’s head, causing him to sink down onto the bathroom floor. Over four years ago he’d heard those very words, snarled by a Death Eater as she’d been dragged out of the Great Hall by Aurors after the final battle. Harry had been so exhausted that the dank weight of her magic settling upon him had immediately vanished from his mind.

“The Dark Lord will always be remembered! But you will not, Harry Potter. You are nothing compared to him—utterly insignificant! You will be forgotten!”

Harry went to St Mungo’s to see the Healers, who shook their heads at the young man who insisted he was supposed to be famous. When they couldn’t fix him, they called in an Unspeakable who specialised in breaking obscure curses. After an hour of waiting, a man in hooded grey robes swept into the examining room. He didn’t show the slightest sign of recognition when he introduced himself to Harry as Unspeakable Malfoy.

Harry looked in the mirror above the sink while Malfoy cast diagnostic spells at him. He tried not to cry.

Malfoy didn’t make any promises when he was done with his spells, the results of which he recorded in a small notebook. He promised to send an owl if he found anything and asked for Harry’s name again so he could write it down.

If Malfoy couldn’t fix this, Harry decided on his walk home, he’d have to leave England. If he went someplace where no one had heard of him, they couldn’t forget him, right? The tears he’d held back at St Mungo’s slid down his cheeks as he thought about how much he’d gained, and now lost, since his eleventh birthday. Maybe he didn’t have the most exciting life or a career to boast about, but there were people who loved him. There were happy times and an old house that he’d turned into a home with his own hands.

Harry went back to Grimmauld Place and waited for word from Malfoy. He paced through the high-ceilinged rooms and climbed the long flights of stairs until his legs ached. He caught himself holding his breath, listening for a knock on the door or the roar of the Floo. When they never came, he went out to the back garden instead and lay on its small rectangle of grass. He considered where he might go—California or New Zealand. Or maybe some South Pacific island where it never got cold.

At last, Malfoy’s owl arrived four days after he had examined Harry. He’d identified the curse and, more importantly, found the countercurse.

Back at St Mungo’s, Malfoy greeted Harry coolly and ordered him into a chair. The countercurse was a droning chant in a language that Harry didn’t recognise, accompanied by complex wand motions that made him dizzy to watch. He closed his eyes until it was over, hardly able to breathe.

When the casting was finished and the room silent again, Harry opened his eyes and found Malfoy gaping at him.

“Potter? What the hell?” Malfoy looked over at his notes on the table, then back at Harry, his eyes widening even further. Then he said, faintly, “Well, Scarhead, that was quite the predicament you got yourself—”

He didn’t get the chance to finish. Harry launched himself out of the chair and crushed Malfoy in a hug, laughing tearfully into the shoulder of his Unspeakable robes.

“Gracious, Potter, a simple thank-you would suffice.” Malfoy wriggled out of Harry’s arms and stepped back to cast a diagnostic spell at him. “Do you feel any different?”

Harry thought about it for a moment. “Not really. Lighter, maybe?”

“You’re probably just relieved to be famous again,” Malfoy said, rolling his eyes. “It must have been terrible not to see your own picture in the newspaper every day.”

“No, that part was actually nice. It was having my friends not even recognise me anymore…”

The rest of the words got caught in Harry’s throat. Malfoy’s expression turned sympathetic, and when he spoke again, it was with surprising gentleness.

“Well, then. I suppose you’d better go see them now, hmm?”

He accompanied Harry to the Floo in the reception area. Harry tried to glance at him as they walked, but he’d pulled up his hood to hide his face from the other people in the corridor. No wonder Harry hadn’t heard anything about Malfoy in the past few years—he’d buried himself in the depths of the Ministry, learning to undo Dark curses.

And letting the wizarding world forget him, Harry thought with a pang.

Harry shook Malfoy’s hand and thanked him. Whatever happened next, he knew he wouldn’t stop thinking about Malfoy, with his sharp gaze and clever mind, anytime soon. Malfoy, too, seemed to consider Harry for a few long moments before he stepped into the Floo.

This time, the only reason why Hermione and Ron were surprised to see Harry was because they weren’t expecting him on a Thursday evening as they were squabbling over what to make for dinner. He almost started crying again when Ron cuffed him on the shoulder and asked him if he wanted a beer.

Hermione noticed that he was upset first, of course. When Harry explained the curse, she blamed herself for not catching that something was wrong. Ron looked towards the pictures on the mantelpiece and swore under his breath. There weren’t any pictures of Harry there.

The good parts of Harry’s life returned to normal after that, and he was almost bursting with renewed gratitude for the people around him. Diagon was off limits again, since the vultures at the Prophet remembered to hound him, but that was a small price to pay. Harry threw himself a belated birthday party in Grimmauld Place, and the rooms were filled with music and laughter and shouted toasts in his honour. He never wanted the night to end.

Harry looked in the mirror before going to bed in the wee small hours, and he smiled with contentment at his bleary eyes and the glitter caught in his hair.

He’d invited Malfoy to the party on a whim, but received a polite note declining. Harry tried again and again—a Seekers game? Lunch in Muggle London? Tea at Grimmauld Place?—until Malfoy finally gave in. He showed up on Harry’s doorstep in jeans and a soft, well-fitted jumper. Harry found himself staring.

“Did you forget that you asked me to dinner, Potter?” Malfoy smirked.

“Oh, no,” Harry breathed. “How could I forget you?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Five years after the war ended, Harry spends his Saturdays teaching Teddy how to fly on his first broom and Sundays being climbed on by two or three small Weasleys who know he keeps sweets in pockets. He orders Christmas gifts by owl post to avoid star-struck witches in the Diagon shops. He slips into the Leaky Cauldron under his invisibility cloak to meet his friends for drinks.

And when Draco reads out the ridiculous articles about him from the Daily Prophet, Harry chucks the crusts of his toast across the breakfast table at his boyfriend and says he almost forgot how much of a prat he could be.

“You didn’t forget anything,” Draco says pointedly.

And Harry has to agree. He didn’t.

#my writing #drarry #drarry ficlet #now with AO3 link and header!

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anotherbeingsworld · 4 years ago

Text

Bounded by the words.

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Casey Valentine)

Summary: A momento from a patient lead to a new hobby for Casey, as it records the moment of their relationship.

A/N: It was an impulsive reaction, but.. I wanted to post something and this has been in my drafts for months. I actually have submitted this before, and I am posting this again since it is edited much better than before. Today is the 25th and, honestly... it is a hard date for me in a way. So, I am coping it with fics unfortunately, but... I wanted to post it for a while now and I had shown it to @bratzlahela before she went on hiatus; and nikka, this is for you and i miss you soo much ! This is a love letter AU which had been in my drafts for months now. I am also dedicating this fic to @mrs-raleighcarrera as a thanks for everything, <3 I have something planned later, I hope I manage to start it but... enjoy. 💜 (I noticed... my love for letters can be shown.. I am so sorry ;;)

Tags: @bitchloveskcbaseball , @storyofmychoices @jaxsmutsuo , @mvalentine , @princess-geek , @lahellacute , @this-person-is-busy , @annekebbphotography , @mrsbhandari , @dcbbw , @choicessa , @choices-confessions ,@fantasyoverreality98 , @baltersome , @ofpixelsandscribbles , @thundergom @starrystarrytrouble, @kelseaaa ,@bratzlahela , @choicesficwriterscreations , @lalizah , @drethanramslay , @arcticlumineer , @choicesstan1 , @aveeiro , @eleanorbloom , @openheartfanfics , @brycesgirl , @rookitcarrera (if you want to be removed or added, let me know 💜)

MY MASTERLIST

Casey is assigned to take care of 19-year old, Brianna who is diagnosed with a Gastroenteritis. As she walks in the room, Brianna was burying herself into a book. She smiled at the sight, as she tries to remember the last time she gets a chance to read a book herself. The title on the book caught her attention, with the minimalistic cover that certainly calms her eyes. ‘Bounded by The Words.’ The title says.

“Bounded by the words?” Casey said to capture her attention.

Brianna startled, as she drops the book down to her lap. Her eyes widen as she saw Casey there grinning at her.

“You scared me!” Brianna stated as she places her hands over her beating heart whilst Casey walks towards her.

“I’m sorry Bri, you looked like you were drowning in the book. I had to save you somehow.” She winks at her, as a smile appear on Brianna’s face.

“Ha ha ha, very funny doc.”

“So, what is the story about making you drowned in the pages?” Casey asked as she checks on her vitals.

“It’s a story of two lovers..”

“Typical.”

“Hey, I am talking here!”

“Alright, alright my lady.” Casey bows as she lets herself have fun with her.

“As I was saying, it is a story of two lovers who was bounded by a series of letters. They never really got a chance to see each other face-to-face as the man is apart of the world war before. Their communication only relies on letters, handwritten letters that caused their love to grow each day. Unfortunately, neither of them got their happy ending as the man sacrificed himself into the war leaving her a thousand letters behind as a reminder that he will always be there for her…” Brianna wipes a tear as she describe the book.

“Oh wow… that is really sad.” Casey felt her heart break a little from hearing Brianna talk about it.

“Yes, it is. I ended up crying every time I read it and this time is any different.”

“Can I take a look at it?” Casey asks her as she immediately pass the book to her.

“Maybe you should hold onto it, as a momento for taking care of me and keeping me company.” Brianna said with a small smile plastered on her face.

Casey’s eyes widen,

“It’s your favourite book Bri…”

“Don’t worry, I have a few more copies of it at home! You should keep it and maybe try read it at your free time. I know doctors don’t have much time to rest, so consider it as a self-care gift from your favourite patient, which is yours truly to you.” Brianna insists before Casey could return the book in her hands.

“My favourite patient? How did you guess?” Casey asked with amount of sarcasm in her voice causing both of them to break into laughter.

Both of them ended up talking for a little while, exchanging stories, a few hugs and a signature from Brianna aswell. Patients like Brianna, really reminds herself why she wanted to be a doctor in the first place. She loved helping people, saving lives, but she is also interested in knowing the stories of her patients. During her time at Edenbrook, she had met a lot of people with various backgrounds; a surfer, a lawyer who is living this world as she is. She always felt pleasure in knowing her patients, and Brianna is one of those patients that gives her the sign that she loves her job.

After finishing up her shift, Casey makes her way back to Bryce’s apartment as they often have sleepovers with one another. She makes her way to the apartment, where she was met with Keiki who was furiously typing on her (Bryce’s) computer as her brows furrowed in frustration. Casey immediately took off her coat and make her way to the couch, as Keiki perks her head up at her presence.

“What do you got there?” Keiki eyes the book she was holding as she sat down.

“It’s a gift from a patient, I think I am gonna absorb myself in some literary entertainment after those long shifts.” Casey said as she gets herself comfortable on the couch, she starts to read the book. After felt like an hour, she already had surpassed the 100th page.

The door opening pulled her out from the zone, as Bryce finally arrived from the hospital. Casey turn her head to the sound, and smiled as she saw him. Casey stands and give him a kiss on the cheek, guiding him to the couch where Keiki is still on the computer looking more ease than before.

“So, what did you guys do today?” Bryce asked as he placed an arm around Casey pulling her close to him.

“I am trying to finish up this darn assignment, and its just so hard! Why did I take computer science?” Keiki whined as Bryce lets out a small laugh.

“What did you do today Cas?” Bryce turns his gaze to her, as both of their eyes meet.

Casey smiled as she shows the book to Bryce.

“Bounded by the words? It sounds like a cliché rom-com if you ask me.” Bryce said as his eyes are on the book.

“Hey, I am a hopeless romantic and this book managed to play with my heartstrings!” Casey protested as she held the book like her life depends on it.

“Okay, okay…Enlighten me, tell me what is the interesting scenario you have come across in the book?” Bryce challenge her with a wink.

“Their entire love story consists of letters, and they never met yet they still love one another…” Casey felt herself gaze as she placed a dreamy look on her face as Bryce just shook his head.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night Cas.” He says as he placed a kiss to bring her back towards reality.

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Casey suddenly felt herself to be inspired from the book, as she felt her heart hold on to the concept of writing love letters. It is midnight, as Casey felt herself feeling awake. She slowly makes her way out of Bryce’s hold as he was sleeping peacefully. She puts on one of Bryce’s shirts and heads out to the living room. She sat down on the floor, with a box full of stuff contains, coloured paper and a huge amount of pens. She smiles, as she proceeds.

My dearest Anastasia,

The darkened days had now befallen us, the roared of the enemy unmistakable. Where it’d be my last sacrifice in the name of thy country. The time has come for me to filled in my word, as I would let myself be pained from the death that followed me every day. Regrets washed over me, as this letter would be the final reminder, where life with you made it very much better. The warmth of your touch can still be felt, as our farewell was playing in my mind for the longest time, a needed farewell that kept me awake on one of these days, longing to be in your touch again. But, even in the depths of the darkest roads, you will always be in thy heart. Forever, and always.

Love,

Roland.

The one that started it all, the final letter of Roland Rosio to his long last love, Anastasia Luvielle as their love continues to grow even after the death of Rosio during the final battle. The inspiration that started it all.

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Dear Bryce,

It is our first date together despite the hundreds of times we went and spend our nights at Donahue. It is when we are, something. Something beautiful, as one would say it. The 21st night of September, was a date to remember; our first night out as something more. As a kid, I always imagined myself going to the ball with my very own Prince, as we dance the night away.

But, in this case… they were no prince, a dress, a castle, a glass slipper, heck there aren’t any pumpkins involved in the beginning of our story. It was a story of clumsiness, fairy lights and a whole platter of fries. An interesting combination one might say, as it started with grace and ended with a bag of loaded fries from a small vendor.

It was unique, as you told me your jokes as I would find myself getting red, as the sight of your sweet and smiley face. The way we danced around the circle, as the fairy lights were hanging above us, has been a permanent attachment in my mind.

Lights, Fries and Bryce? A perfect combination.

Love,

Casey.

The first of many has been recorded, as she slips it into a box. A small box which is going to be playing a huge role in her life moving forward. Bryce stops himself in his tracks, admiring the smile on her face before moving towards the living room. The memory of their days together, playing in his mind.

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Dear Bryce,

I don’t know where to start, I miss you. I miss everything about you and, I don’t know how long I can do this anymore . I always wondered why couples would fight over the littlest things and, I hoped that the fate won’t fall down to us, but…I was wrong. It felt like a downfall, and I regret yelling those words at you. You were never a burden, you were the light and I don’t know how I haven’t met you before. My life had changed with you, and it has change again, and… I miss you. I miss everything about you, your hugs, your silly jokes, the way you’d talk at the movies despite being shush away by the audience, especially you. I miss being able to hug you when I was happy, and…I am going to make this right.

Love, Casey.

The first fight, as there were words left unspoken. One of many that made were stained with her tears, as the sadness took over. Her life was different with Bryce, and she didn’t give up. She tried and tried, and tried and try again until one day, she did it right. Neither did he.

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Dear Bryce,

I can’t believe our time has come, we are finally getting married tomorrow! It is a common feeling of excitement to be a bride, and I am very excited for our adventure next. I always felt like you were the one with the huge benefit in doubt in myself, the day we meet in that locker room at Edenbrook. The first time I laid my eyes on you, it felt like I was going to meet a stereotypical male from a rom-com, but… you are different. A good type of different, you have been there for me since the very beginning.

You have seen through it all, and I am very lucky to be apart of your life. You have always been my number one support through the highs and the lows, and I am always going to be grateful for everything we have been through that lead us to this very moment. I am excited for our new beginning, I will see you soon.

Love,

Casey.

The day they become as one, where Casey Valentine and Bryce Lahela finally tied the knot after all these years. A new adventure awaits them, as a whole new life is looking them with a wide-smile. The ceremony was intimate, as all of their close friends and family members were invited. They got married at one of his favourite places, the beach. As they finally got their happily ever after.

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Dear Bryce,

I did it. WE DID IT! After all these years, we did it. I am finally pregnant, after all the negatives. We did it, and you are going to be a dad! I remember those days, you were telling me about teaching our kid surfing, and silently hoping they will follow your footsteps. Our dreams have been granted, and I am truly ecstatic! The feeling of being a parent had lingered on my mind since early on, and… I am beyond grateful to be on this journey with you.

Baby Lahela is 3 months strong, mommy and daddy can’t wait to see you soon. I can’t wait for all of the new memories we are going to make together. We love you daddy!

Love,

Casey.

After a few years of marriage, and trying… they finally did it. Both of them starting a new adventure with their little bundle of joy, the first adventure with the little Lahela. And, they were very excited for it.

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‘Dad, what is these letters?’ Louis asked in fascination, as he finished reading one of Casey’s letters after all these years.

A smile appeared on his face, remembering the memories from years ago. The day Casey starts to become obsessed over a piece of literature that changed their lives one way or another.

‘Mom loves to write letters, and these is all of hers. She writes it every time we are happy, sad, angry and everything in between. I never understood the purpose of it all, and your mother tends to get emotional over the littlest things and, she still managed to blow me away every time…’ He lets out a sigh, rereading the final letter in the pile. It was written a few days ago.

Dear Bryce,

We have been through it all, am I right? It has been 25 or maybe more years, since our first meeting and I can’t believe it has been that long. We have done an amazing job together, and I am very very proud of what we had achieved all these years. You have been an amazing dad to our little ones, who is not so little anymore. Our little Louis, is our astronomer now, I still remember the first time we were giving him a bath, he was a quiet baby but with a lot of determination and a gold heart, just like his father. Our little girls Kailani and Alexandra, has managed to follow in our footsteps, even though we warned them about the stress and pressure of med school along with warnings from our dear friends, and I can’t believe they did it. They were always so smart, and I can’t say how proud of I am of our little angels. Bryce, you have been my rock, my best friend, my lover, my partner and… I will always cherish you in my heart. You are the first person who never gave up on me, and… life with you, has been the best chapter in my life. You have made me a better person, you have seen me in my lowest and you didn’t left. You were there through thick and thin, and I love you for it. I will never forget the day where we said, the three words. The day where our life started to change every day. You have given me unconditional love and care, you have made my life the way it is today. My mom, always wondered how I came across someone like you before, and I would laugh; fate brought us together and Edenbrook was the start of it all.

Unfortunately, some stories would come to an end. And, the end of mine is coming very soon; take care of the kids, and tell them that mom is very proud of them. My love, you had made me the happiest and… even in the depths of the darkest roads, you will always be in thy heart. Forever, and always.

Yours,

Casey Lahela.

The end of the letter, the one line that started it all, as a small smiled appear on his face despite the tears falling down on his cheeks. Alexandra and Keilani made their way as they pulled Bryce into a deep hug, letting their sorrows take over breaking every façade that they had. Louis joins in too, as they stood there together, as a family. Her memories were playing in his mind, a recording of every sense from their little time together made it into the highlight as, the letters felt like a metaphor, a feeling somehow she is there with them, looking down with a huge smile. A smile of satisfaction, as a chance to finally let herself go.

‘I will always love you Casey. Forever and always.’ He whispered slowly, as their life story was flashed through his eyes which is the best moments of his life.

THE END.

#playchoices #bryce x mc #bryce lahela #casey valentine #open heart #open heart second year #anotherbeingsworldwrites #choices fic writers creations #fics #bryce oh #bryce x f!mc

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kim-lexie · 5 years ago

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week-by-week playback: crash landing on you.

just to preface, pardon that some of this may not be cohesive. i made this a separate post because otherwise the collective review would be insanely long. and i wanted to keep a space where i just let my thoughts from each episode exist, so here it it.

if you want to see my semi cohesive thoughts from the themes and characters here is my actual review. crash landing on you.

*spoiler alert*

ep 1-2 my goodness this man, hyun bin (aka ri jung hyuk in this drama) is dreamy as ever. *like swoons*. son ye-jin is perfect, i loved her in "something in the rain” and this character is completely different and i am loving it. this free easy going aide of this actress. she is adorable and i love how in a crazy situation the first thing she thinks is ‘you’re totally my type’ bc seriously a girl after my own heart.

now the concept is completely ridiculous but i’ll jump on the band wagon and live my best life bc i think this is going to be a unique concept that i fall for. the fact that she doesn’t listen to him and goes directly into north korea i’m like girl you’re crazy.

i love how they added the clips at the end of the episode and how he was laughing at her. precious how he’s already falling for her quirky side. i am intrigued to see where their relationship first started like how did they meet before how did he leave north korea and enter back in as a general captain?!? so many questions and i’m so excited.

ep 3-4. kim ju-meok (captain ri’s company of 5) saying i haven’t seen any drama characters that don’t fall in love in that situation. hahaha same dude same. when the guy was spying, jung man-bok, and trying to keep up with the drama plot. hahaha

i loved when the ladies tried to see her and she made him act all sweet walking him out the door.

he said all nice things to the plant!!!

ep 5-6. his relationship with his fiancé is soooo weird. and her family must be super high up in north korea. same to his family though. his mom has an ostrich in her yard!!! i love how they got stuck on the train on their journey to pyeongyang. i love how he jumps to his feet to get her anything she wants. they’re precious together. i’m excited to see where it takes us bc now that the man on the run knows that she is there, there is leverage. he was the first guy she waited for TT. i’m really enjoying the little tidbit scenes at the ending.

he’s gonna keep a photo of her even though he said it was silly to get a momento. the clarification between destiny and coincidence.

ri jeong-hyeok do you want to be my destiny. ‘as long as you stay in my sight you’ll be safe, as long as she is in my sight i will protect her.’

ep 7-8. her character growth since meeting him is extensive and i love to see this side of her not as callused and closed off but rather vulnerable.

‘so happens that you’ve become a special person to me

for once i had to protect you too.’

the heart on his uniform she stitched up.

it’s his brothers song. TT

him going to find her bc she might have been waiting in him. he’s not wrong. and her being concerned with him not being in the hospital bc of his injuries.

your life here might be shattered bc of me.

and i don’t like that.

she’s gets kidnapped. after all this. she even decorated a christmas tree and got him a gift.

held my breath for a solid minute after that gunshot.

ep 9-10. yes his freaking dad in these moments where i’m crying just provides the perfect comedic relief bc he can’t freaking believe what’s happening in front of him. “you make my heart flutter. the other dude.” even when you didn’t know it you saved my life. when he played the song for the first and last time for his brother.

how would i forget about a woman who feel from the sky? -jeong-hyeok

i didnt fall. i descended. -se ri

she freaking wrote i love you with the books.

his brother was such a good person and got the medicine for his friends baby.

when they had to say goodbye to each other. and when their eyes met once again.

ep 11-12. this episode. i loved seeing how the comrades reacted to the daily living of those in seoul. they were too precious. absolutely terrifying that cheol-gang made his way into a security. like what kind of background check did they get?!? like. come on.

cannot believe that jeong-hyeok found her in an echoing parking garage. it’s destiny.

seo dan got the term ‘sweetmeat’ from seri stop it!!

all of the almost encounters had me dying, while the boys were trying to track down captain ri. the gaming to ignoring the call for chicken.

they wanted to recruit kwang-beom for an agency. they’re like your cover was blown bro.

talking about a future when he didn’t go back. married with twins. and he’ll play piano again.

them dresses as south koreans got me like. my goodness. they’re too much. them all hugging was beautiful. he missed them all so much.

her mother left her at the beach. like what the even. her sister in law gave him her address what the even, this side of her family is wack.

they surprised her for her birthday. my goodness. this moment i’m weeping then it’s like dang that would have been cute.

i’ll be thankful the person i love is still breathing.

and it will be a good year.

-ri jeong hyeok

ep 13-14. the couple rings.

our boys. slaying it. my gosh. when they’re all surrounding her after she was shot. and crying my heart broke.

i never played the piano. and i’ve never told anyone. until you crash landed into my word one day. that’s how i lived. but now i’ved changed. even if i have to worry about losing you, i want to have you in my life. even if it breaks my heart bc it’s a dream that can’t come true, i’d like to sincerely dream of a future. so please live. and listen to my words i still have stories that i haven’t told you yet. -ri jeong-hyeok

when she finally woke up and he ran in. the fact that the mole wire tapped the room while she was unconscious. and then the tape of her mom telling her and wanting to thank seri and ask for forgiveness, and also the fact that her oppa and sister in law wanted her gone...wack.

when he was showing her his scars and the boys walked in and thought something scandalous was up, i died laughing.

i love them together. “they’re curious about your face. i understand bc you look great from the back.” -seri with regards to the paparazzi posting a photo of him online.

the split second after cheol-gang died and ri jeong-hyeok contemplated ending his life, because he didnt know what would happen when he went back to north korea.

while seung-jung was hiding in the market after he ran away from his captors, and the orphans collectively sang that sad song to distract the officers and protect him.

when seung-jung gave seo dan the ring that she picked up from the store so he could give it to seri who gave it to the pawn shop, and he picked it back up and proposed to seo dan. i weeped, because why does this have to be so hard.

when the NIS was collecting data on the ‘spies’: purchases at internet cafe, downloading videos of his favorite drama star, chicken restaurant, etc. i can’t.

him deciding to go protect her even though he missed his chance of leaving the north with his life. and that she would be the one crying for him once he died made him sad and happy.

seri would make the same decision again. to meet the people and keep the experiences she had. “the wind blows to move in, not to stay.”

the exchange at the boarder was all too much. they all had to say goodbye so quickly.

ep 15-16. her family is wack. thank goodness seodan was able to get her revenge and get all the information from the chinese gang to turn over her older brother.

he wrote her back in the bookshelf. and is sending her notes after he’s gone. her breakdown in the kitchen when she saw all that he left for her. and receipts.

them going for walks at the same time of day to have a shared moment.

all of captain ri’s men reminiscing of the good things seoul had. internet. electricity.

i love that seri made a limited edition product to pay tribute to the ladies that helped her in the north.

he got her a freaking plant. i can’t. she is carrying for the plant like a baby and taking it around with her. got to say nice things to it. i knew it the last thing she said was rihoseok. (honestly wanted it to be a tomato plant)

“season changed but messages kept coming.” i really love this.

“it was eldewiss let’s meet in the country where these flowers bloom.” tell me they meet. please. oh please.

when ri jeong-hyeok broke the news that he was moving on to become a pianist and that the new captain is not a handsome man. the ladies of the village faces just dropped. i can’t.

“he found me every time. and i’m sure he’ll find me again someday.” -seri

“edelweiss symbolizes precious memories. what should i do jeonghyeok? it’s impossible for me to herons your just as a memory. so even if we don’t meet this year, maybe next year. if that doesn’t work too, i’ll anticipate the year after that. until the day you find me i’ll be waiting and praying.” -seri

stop it she is going to go paragliding and meet him again. come on.

eun-dong saying he misses his sister. i love them.

most wonderful two weeks of the year. stop it they have a house together in switzerland. and they are living happily ever after.

i really don’t want it to end...

#crash landing on you #week by week #playback #k drama #ri jong hyeok #hyun bin #yoon se ri #son ye jin

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rowdywarrior85 · 5 years ago

Text

BILLY: I know, I heard ya. To be honest, I asked you out because, I just wanted somebody to talk to about my shit. After all, you reminded me so much of my mom, well, my “real mom”.

KAREN: Really? That’s why…

BILLY: Mmm-hmm.

KAREN: (awkward laugh) Oh… my God.

BILLY: You actually thought that we were…

KAREN: I actually kinda believed…

BILLY: WOW.

KAREN: That was my fault completely. I pushed…

BILLY: Don’t sweat it, Mrs. Wheeler. You wouldn’t be the first MILF that wanted a piece of me.

(Karen give a surprised look to Billy.)

MILF means…

KAREN: I know what that means, and I’m flattered.

Chorus kicks in.

BILLY: Oh…K. Anyway, flowers weren’t the only thing I got you. I got this for you.

(Billy pulls out a little black jewelry box from his jacket pocket, and hands it to Karen.)

It’s a small momento, nothing major.

(Karen opens it, revealing Billy’s signature spike earring inside.)

KAREN: (deep sigh) I’ll cherish this forever. As a matter of fact…

(Karen removes a Tiffany diamond earring from her left ear.)

BILLY: Oh no, Mrs. Wheeler, I can’t accept that from you.

KAREN: I insist. You’re actually the only guy since my husband who’s showed me any affection.

(Karen places her earring in Billy’s hand. Billy looks up to Karen.)

BILLY: Thanks.

KAREN: Can I walk you to the door?

Trying hard to control my heart…

BILLY: Yeah, I gotta get goin’ anyway.

I look over to where you are…

(As Karen walks Billy to the front door, Mike and Nancy peer around the basement door, followed closely by Ted.)

Eye to eye, we need no words at all.

KAREN: So, any chance you’ll be back around here again?

Slowly now, we begin to move…

BILLY: If things go according to plan: reunite with my mom, be a stable family again. Probably not.

Every breath, I’m deeper into you.

(Billy pats her shoulder, turns and makes for then opens the door.)

Soon we too are standing still in time…

KAREN: Well in that case,…

(She turns Billy back around, both hands grabbing him by his jacket lapels.)

If you read my mind,…

…I won’t have to live this down.

…you’ll see I’m crazy for you.

(Karen gives Billy a passionate kiss that’s been building up in her since the first time she met him, and he goes with it, and caresses her.)

Touch me once, and you know it’s true.

(Mike watches this with his biggest “WTF” look, Nancy expresses a “WOW” look on her face. Ted, on the other hand, is confused at this experience.)

I never wanted anyone like this, it’s all brand new.

(Outside, Murray chuckles as he watches this with his arms crossed. Next to him, the Mom Squad watches as well, all the while, cheering on their fellow Mom-At-Arms.)

You feel it in my kiss,…

LIZ: WHOO!!

JILL: (screaming)

BLONDIE: Way to go, Karen!!

You feel it in my kiss,…

(Karen caps off the kiss by nibbling Billy’s bottom lip. Billy is blown away by this gesture.)

…because I’m crazy for you.

BILLY: Wow.

(Karen giggles.)

Touch me once, and you know it’s true.

Mis-sus Whee-ler.

I never wanted anyone like this,…

Better?

It’s all brand new.

KAREN: Yes, um. Been meaning to get it out of my system.

You feel it in my kiss,…

BILLY: WAY out of your system.

...I’m crazy for you.

Well, I gotta get rollin’.

Crazy for you.

KAREN: Of course. Well, write me if and when you get settled in.

BILLY: That’s a promise, Mrs. Wheeler.

(Billy turns and makes to the van.)

Crazy for you.

KAREN: Karen.

(Billy takes one last steely look at Karen.)

Crazy for you.

BILLY: Karen.

(As the song draws to a close, Billy tosses her a wink, and walks off to the van. He throws up his hands, looking at the Mom Squad, then to Murray.)

MURRAY: Smooth.

BILLY: Just be sure to keep that to yourself. I’m sure the Mom Squad will.

(Billy waves to the Mom Squad, they wave back tearfully.)

MURRAY: Oh, trust me. This is off the record.

(Both men board the van, and jet off for their flight. Karen looks on til the van is out of sight, the Mom Squad return to their respective homes. Karen shuts the door, then turns to her stunned family. Nancy makes the first remark.)

NANCY: Well, was it everything you thought it would be?

KAREN: (deep sigh) And then some.

(Both girls giggle. Karen then looks to Mike.)

MIKE: Just as long this is a one-time thing. He pulls that shit again, I’ll kick his ass.

KAREN: Mike.

MIKE: I’m just sayin’.

(Mike then saunders downstairs to the basement. Karen then looks to her hapless husband, Ted.)

TED: I’m… not even gonna say anything.

KAREN: Good.

(Karen struts back to the kitchen, with Ted looking awkwardly.)

TED: Come on, Holly. Let’s go watch some cartoons.

(Cut to a 747 commercial airplane touching down on LAX on a beautiful sunny afternoon. Cut to in front a beach house, a taxi pulls up, both Murray and Billy step out. Murray pays the driver, the cab drives off, then the boys look to the beach house.)

MURRAY: Well, here we are.

BILLY: Yeah.

MURRAY: Nervous any?

BILLY: Scared as fuck.

MURRAY: (pats Billy on the back) Good luck, buddy.

(As they walk to the house, the front door opens, revealing an elderly woman. She had short, curly silver hair, sporting a lime green sweater, a floral designed skirt with sandals.)

MURRAY: Grandma Hargrove, I take it?

EVELYN: Call me Evelyn, and don’t associate me to that sociopath son-in-law of mine, devil take him. Is that Billy?

MURRAY: In the flesh.

(Both grandmother and grandson come face to face for the first time in years. They start to embrace each other.)

EVELYN: (slowly smiles) When the hell did you get so damn handsome?

BILLY: Good to see you again, Gammy. Is she…

EVELYN: Outback.

(Evelyn leads Billy and Murray outback to the beach, they proceed down to the shore.)

She spends most of her time by the ocean, checking out the waves, imaging you riding them. Well, there she is.

(Evelyn pointed out her daughter, Billy’s mom, standing by the ocean, looking to the waves. Her blonde hair waving in the wind, hooped earrings banging along her neck. She is wearing a tank-topped blue dress, decorated with daisies, with a white quilted long-sleeved sweater falling over her shoulder. Her yellow sandals placed beside her. Billy’s heart is pounding so loud, he can hardly believe he about to see her after all these years.)

We’ll hang back for a moment.

(Evelyn looks to her daughter.)

How’s the ocean, Linda?

LINDA: (looking to the ocean) Calm these days. Not really as fierce as it used to be.

BILLY: Too bad. Last time I was with you on the beach, I was riding some serious waves.

(A curious look befalls Linda’s face. She turns around to see her mother with Murray and Billy, to whom she doesn’t yet recognize.)

You were flustered when I rode them. As I ran back to you, I told you they were like…

BILLY & LINDA: Seven feet.

(Linda’s eyes start to widen as she sees his medallion around his neck, then begins to tear up as she doesn’t believe who is standing before her. Billy, himself, starts tearing up.)

LINDA: (voice slowly breaking) Oh, my God. I know this wasn’t how I wanted us to meet up again.

(Billy starts to slowly approach her.)

I know what you must think of me, after all this time. Believe me, I wanted to come back for you, so many times. But I was so afraid of your father, afraid he would kill me if I ever came back for you. By the time I worked up the nerve to come after you, the neighbors told me he remarried and took you to Indiana, away from me.

(Billy comes to a foot away to her mom.)

Well, aren’t you gonna say anything?

BILLY: (tearfully) You’re as pretty… as the day you left,... Mom.

(Linda extends her right hand to his left cheek. Tears streaming down her face, as though she can’t hold back her feelings anymore. Billy soon follows through.)

LINDA: (tearfully) My boy. My little Billy.

(They explode into a powerful hug, sobbing uncontrollably, both of them falling to their knees. Murray and Evelyn embrace each other, sniffling and weeping at this heartfelt reunion.)

I can’t believe you’re really here.

BILLY: (sobbing) I’m so sorry… it took me this long. So long.

LINDA: (sobbing) It’s OK, baby. You’re here, you’re really here.

(They pull away from each other for a moment.)

They told me what happened in Hawkins. Is it true? Your father…

BILLY: It’s true, Mom. He’s gone. Susan smoked him to save me. We don’t have to worry, or think of him ever again. We’re finally free.

(They continue to hug, as mother and son are reunited once again. They soon get up.)

Mom, I want you to meet the man who brought me back to you.

MURRAY: (shakes hands with Linda) Murray Bauman, ma’am, private investigator. It’s a privilege to finally meet you. Your boy’s been a hoot to hang with on the way here.

LINDA: Thank you so much for bringing me back my son, sir.

MURRAY: Hey, who doesn’t love a happy ending? Am I right?

(Murray and the rest chuckle.)

Well. I see you two got a lot of ground to cover. So, I’m gonna let you guys catch up, I’ll grab a bite to eat and head back to the motel.

EVELYN: Oh, nonsense. How bout you stick around and have a drink or two with us.

(Murray glances from Evelyn to Billy.)

BILLY: My way of saying “thanks”.

MURRAY: (sighs) You got any Stoli?

(All four of them head back to the house.)

LINDA: So, Billy. How was life in Hawkins?

BILLY: Well, Mom. It’s actually a crazy-ass story.

MURRAY: Believe me, it’s a doozy. Hey, B. If there’s anything else you need, brother, anything at all, don’t hesitate to call me up.

(Billy looks to himself for a moment, then looks to Murray.)

BILLY: As a matter of fact, Murray, there is something you can do for me. Sort of returning the favor.

MURRAY: Name it.

(Some time later, it’s a Christmas Party in Hawkins, Indiana at the Wheeler residence. The parking lot and the driveway is full of cars and trucks. Mike, Lucas, Max, Dustin, Erica, Will, Kali and El, are gaming in the basement. Whilst up top, the Wheelers, the Sinclairs, Mrs. Henderson, Joyce, Susan, Jancy, Steve and Robin are partying up with conversations, drinks and holiday cheer. Mike then heads upstairs to grab some more snacks.)

KAREN: Mike, honey, you and friends don’t fill up on snacks. Dinner is almost ready.

MIKE: Mom, it’s Christmas.

(Just then, the doorbell rings.)

KAREN: Oh, honey, can you get that?

MIKE: OK.

(Mike saunders to the door, opens it to find Billy at the door. A look of annoyance is spread across his face.)

BILLY: Sup, Mikey?

MIKE: You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me. MOM!! YOUR BOY TOY IS AT THE DOOR!!

(Karen walks to the front door, accompanied by Susan. They’re both blown away that Billy is here for Christmas.)

KAREN & SUSAN: Billy?

BILLY: Hey, Karen. Susan.

(Karen walks down the hall to greet Billy with a hug.)

KAREN: Holy shit. I can’t believe you’re really here.

MIKE: Oh God. Would you two like to use my room, or Nancy’s?

KAREN: MIKE!

BILLY: Karen, Karen. It’s cool.

KAREN: Mike, why don’t you head down back to your friends.

MIKE: (sighs) Great. I’ll go tell the others the bad boy from Cali is back in town.

(Billy and Susan share a hug. Max then comes out of the basement.)

MAX: Hey, Mike. What’s goin’ on?

MIKE: Ask your stepbrother.

(Max looks to the front door, surprised to see Billy. They lock eyes, and she runs down to hug his wayward stepbrother.)

KAREN: So, you said you were bringing somebody with you, or…

BILLY: Oh, actually…

(Billy motions somebody to join him by the door. Linda comes up in her holiday best bringing gifts. Karen and Susan are perplexed as to who this woman is that Billy brought with her.)

Karen Wheeler, Susan Mayfield, this is Linda Hargrove. My mom.

KAREN: Oh my God. This is your mother? Get in here, it’s so lovely to finally meet you.

(The moms shook each other’s hands.)

LINDA: You too. Billy’s told me all about you.

KAREN: I certainly hope not.

LINDA: Susan.

SUSAN: Nice to finally meet you.

(Max walks up as the rest of the Party join up with Mike.)

LINDA: And you got to be the MadMax. Billy told me about you, too.

MAX: (shakes Linda’s hand) Wow, so cool to meet you.

BILLY: By the way, Max. I got something for you, too. It was too big to wrap up.

(Billy motions somebody else to come to the front door. Max is floored with emotion to see her father, Sam Mayfield, all dappered up in his holiday best as well.)

SUSAN: Sam?

SAM: Merry Christmas, Susan.

(Sam then looks to her wayward daughter.)

Merry Christmas, MadMax.

(Max then runs to her father with tears of joy, wrapping themselves in a hug. She looks to Billy with disbelief.)

MAX: How…

BILLY: I asked Murray to hunt him down after he helped me find my mom. We found him, got to know each other, turns out he’s a cool guy.

SAM: No, man. You’re cool, for bringing me to my daughter.

(The Party continues to look on.)

DUSTIN: The family keeps getting bigger.

(Steve pats Dustin’s shoulder.)

KAREN: OK. Everybody inside before we freeze to death.

(Billy’s party comes in and closes the door. The camera pans back to show the Wheeler house covered with Christmas decorations and lights. Snow continues to fall. Fade to black.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

#JusticeForBilly

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thatwritingho · 6 years ago

Text

Momento Mori

Chapter 4

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

“So, how are you boys feeling about Olive? Any, ah, thoughts? Concerns?”

The band had reconvened in the meeting room after the spur of the moment autopsy demonstration(there was, luckily, always a dead body on hand at Mordhaus, what with the employee death rate), Olive having been dismissed for the remainder of the day to finish settling in, set to start her duties the following day.

“I dunno, dood, I mean, she seems kinda fahked in the head a bit,” Pickles was the first to comment as he popped the cap to a fresh beer, recalling how she had enthusiastically prattled on about different diseases and birth defects that were possible in each organ as she had removed it, “but in like, y'know, a good way.”

“Yeah, I’m, uh, pretty sure people aren’t supposed to be, like, that happy when talking about flesh eating viruses,” Nathan took a swig from his own beer as the rest of the band nodded in agreement. “But uh… watching her slice that guy open? That was, uh, pretty fucking brutal. And really hot.”

Murdeface crossed his arms and reclined back in his seat, eyeing all his bandmates before staring down Charles.

“Schure, schesch a babe and all, but isch sche really good enough to be the doctor for Dethklok? I mean, we’re talkin our health here, guysch! What'sch more important than that?”

Pickles scoffed at Murderace’s attempt to be devil’s advocate, giving him a skeptical sideways glance.

“Dood, since when do yeh care aboot bean’ healthy?”

“Ya, Moidaface! Yous just wants to bes a dick!” Toki glanced to Charles, nodding his head. “I likes her, I thinks she should stays.”

“Thank you, Toki.” The bespectacled man cleared his throat, “I can, ah, assure you, Murderface, that she is more than qualified for this position. I did screen her myself, after all. Her capabilities are on par with anyone else I would have considered, but she is the only one who met all of your, ah, selected criteria.”

“Yeh mean shes da only one who wasn’t some crusty old dood like our other dahctors?”

“Yes, Pickles, precisely,” Charles’ attention turned to the blonde busily plucking away at his guitar, the only one who had yet to provide any feedback. “Ah, Skwisgaar, anything to say? About Olive?”

“Ja, I woulds do hers, evens if she ams creepys.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Charles could only sigh as the conversation quickly devolved into Skwisgaar and Nathan discussing the do-ability of his newest hire.

“That’s, ah, not what I meant. At all. But I would like to go ahead and ask that all of you refrain from any attempt at a physical or romantic relationship with her, since she is your, ah, employee. It would make for a difficult sexual harrassment case, were anything to go sour, and we can all agree that we don’t need another one of those? Yes?”

Charles knew the disgruntled, grumbled agreements from around the room were the only affirmation he would receive.

“Alright then. Since we are, ah, all in agreement, I shall have her follow through with the two week trial as planned, and then you can make your final decision. In the mean time, I would like for her to conduct a routine physical exam on each of you to learn all of your, ah, various health conditions.”

“What!? A fuckin check up!? Didn’t we juscht have one of thosche?”

“Well, Murderface, that was, ah, last year. An annual physical is crucial for prevention of the onset of illnesses. And as I said, she needs to familiarize herself with your, ah, your… bodies.”

The immature snickering around the table at his last sentence was expected, as was Muderface’s continued outbursts.

“Scho we’re gonna have to take our clothesch off and get poked and prodded by thisch chick? And you exschpect us to not even fuck her? Isch sche gonna schtick her finger up our asschesch too?!”

“Pfft, like she woulds evens thinks about fuckings you, Moidaface.”

“Yeah, I uh, feel bad for her, y’know, having to see him naked and all. It’ll, uh, probably blind her. Scar her for life or… something.”

The bassist stood abruptly at the taunting, chair screeching back as he threw his hands up in exasperation.

“Fuck thisch!”

“Murderface, please sit down” Charle’s took a moment to close his eyes and inhale deeply through his nose as Murdeface plopped back down in his seat with a scowl. “I hired her to be the band physician, remember? What else did you expect if not a typical examination? Regardless, I have, ah, other matters to attend to. Any other questions or comments? No? Excellent.”

Charles made for the door quickly, but turned back around and addressed the room before exiting fully, “And, ah, everyone, please be sober for your physicals tomorrow, ok?”

He knew it was a pointless request, as confirmed by their halfhearted agreements, but at least he could say he tried.

Ohmygod ohmygod ohmyGOD

The formidable wooden door to her temporary housing closed heavily behind Olive, and she leaned back against the hard wood to kept herself upright, heart pounding in her chest as she finally let herself be overcome by the pure, raw emotions she had kept at bay for the past few hours, a ridiculous squeal bubbling forth from her throat as she smiled a big, jaw-achingly large smile.

“Holy SHIT!”

With that exclamation, she hurriedly kicked off her heels and propelled herself onto the plush mattress, latching onto a pillow and burying her face in the fluff to muffle her thrilled screeching, feet kicking childishly in an attempt to relieve the tension caused by excitement-fueled adrenaline coursing through her body.

Once thoroughly satisfied with the amount of emotion released, she surfaced from the pillow for air, face red and hair wildly askew, and snatched her phone, sitting up to type a brief message to her twin sister, telling her of the good news and promising a more detailed phone call later that night, not trusting herself to be able to form coherent enough sentences to hold a conversation at the moment. Despite this, she was still bursting with the need to talk to someone out loud to organize her thoughts, and so turned to the only other being in the room, who was currently curled up and napping under his wooden tunnel.

“Sorry to wake you, Apophis, but I have to tell you about this!”

Said reptile lazy curled itself around her arm as she held the appendage in front of her, flat head resting on the back of her hand as he blinked slowly, paying as much attention as a snake could.

“I don’t even know where to start, they were so much better in person than I could have imagined! Fuck! They’re all so so cool, so beautiful, too! And Murrderface and Skwisgaar were totally checking me out, can you believe it? Oh my god, you were right about picking out this outfit, man. And they wanted me to do an autopsy for them! God, you should’ve been there, their faces when I made the Y incision were fucking priceless, like they didn’t think I’d actually be able to do it. Fuckers. Nathan seemed really into it, though, I think he said in an interview once that his favorite subject in school was, like, frog dissection or something fucked up like that.”

Sucking in a big breath after her long winded jabbering, a concerned look crossed her face as the long bodied creature shifted, raising its head to stare at her from eye level.

“Oh! Don’t worry, they don’t dissect snakes in school, just frogs. I’d never let anyone hurt you anyway, you know that.”

Seemingly abated, he settled back down, once more relaxing against her hand.

“Man, dude, there’s no way I can focus enough to unpack, damn. I’m supposed to give them my first physical exams tomorrow. I’m so nervous, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. What if I fuck up? What if they fire me before I even get a chance to know them? Oh my god why did I think I could do this?”

Her audience merely flicked his tongue at her in annoyance.

“Yeah, you’re right, man. Fuck it. Whatever happens, happens. I’ll be fine. It’s fine. I’m fine. Totally fine. The finest I’ve ever been. Yep”

The nervous laugh following her attempt at self assurance would have made Apophis roll his eyes, if such a thing were possible for a snake to do.

“Dude, are you drunk? Seriously?”

Olive, clad in your stereotypical white lab coat over a simple form fitting black dress, clipboard in hand, stared in disbelief at the massive front man sitting before her on the exam chair.

“Uh… I mean, I only had a, uh, a couple of beers. Not uh, not enough to get me drunk, or… anything.”

Dark eyes could only blink at him incredulously.

“Man, I can smell the alcohol on your breath from here, and it’s not just beer.”

Nathan at least had the decency to look a bit sheepish at that, averting his eyes to stare at one of the many anatomical diagrams on the wall.

“I, uh.. I didn’t think it would matter.”

The newly appointed physician could only sigh.

Damn he looks adorable.

“It’s ok. We can just, um, try this again tomorrow. But no drinking before, ok? I mean it. I can’t get proper readings while you’re intoxicated, yeah?”

A deep grunt was his only reply as he hopped to the floor, boots thudding loudly from the impact, silky hair flowing around his shoulders. As he strode past her for the door, Olive couldn’t help but shudder a bit at how much bigger he was than her, his broad frame casting a large shadow over her own small one, a shiver going down her spine at his deep voice when he mumbled a half assed “sorry” before slamming the door shut behind him.

There was only one word for the look Skwisgaar Skwigelf was leveling her with right now; dangerous.

“How’s does yous wants me, doctor?”

She had wondered for years, about how women could keep throwing themselves at this man, keep having his love children when they knew there was no hope for anything more than meaningless sex with someone probably riddled with STDs, destined to be a soon forgotten face among the hundreds of other who had fallen victim to his charms.

But that look. Like he wanted to devour her, make her fully and wholly his, devote his entire being to pleasuring her and only her. The way his voice dropped and sent chills down her spine when he spoke her title. It was a pull unlike any attraction she had experienced before.

Fucking hell. I get it now.

The blonde was standing just slightly closer than would be considered appropriate, towering over her, leaning forward slightly as he waited for instruction, a knowing smile curling onto his face as Olive cleared her throat and looked away.

Damn him.

“Just, um, on the exam chair, and take your shirt and pants off.”

He leaned back from from her and sauntered away, stretching his long arms above his head as he removed his shirt, making a show of it as he carelessly tossed the article of clothing on a nearby chair, glancing back at her over his shoulder as he unbuttoned his pants and let them drop as he hopped up.

Oh, you motherfucker. I’m not that easy.

Victory was claimed as hers when the obnoxiously attractive smirk fell from his face, replaced by an annoyed pout at her next words as she tapped her pen on the clipboard.

“So. Let’s talk about your rather extenisive history of STDs.”

“No fuckin way. You can kissch my assch if you think I’m gonna strip for you so you can jab at me like that schtiff from yeschterday.”

Olive sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Man, come on, seriously, you have to take your shirt off for me to do this right.”

Murderface crossed his arms protectively over his chest, turning his nose up and looking away childishly with a small ‘hmph.’

“Look, I’m not going to slice you open. You gotta at least take me on a date first before I’ll go that far with you.”

The brunette turned to her fully and raised his lip in an attempt at distaste, which was overthrow as he failed to fight off a smile at her lame joke, a soft pink blush creeping on his cheeks at the implication.

“Fine. But juscht don’t try any funny sctuff, or I’ll kick your assch.”

Her snicker made his face redden deeper.

“Noted.”

The scars greeting her from Toki’s bare back were alarming, to say the least. But they were old, multiple years old, the skin long healed and morphed into a pale off white, with only a few remaining a light, almost imperceptible pink. He was tense and silent, breathing shallowly, probably waiting for her to ask, but she wasn’t going to.

No need to bring up bad memories. Just get the basics without being direct.

“Have you had any surgeries or broken bones in your life?”

“No skurgeries, buts a fews bones breaks when I was littles.”

“Were you medically treated for them? Did they heal properly? Ever have any pain in those areas, like when the weather changes?”

“Um, sometimes, whens it about to starts raingings. Deys ache.”

Olive nodded, scribbling the info down on his chart in her messy handwriting, not missing how he avoided the first two questions.

“Alright, you can get dressed, I think I got everything I needed.”

The guitarist exhaled a slightly uneven breath, muscles relaxing as he yanked his shirt back on, shooting the woman before him a thankful look and settling back on the exam chair.

“You’re in the best shape of anyone else I’ve seen so far, man. Keep it up.”

One congratulatory pat on the shoulder later and Toki was exiting the room, yelling to someone in the waiting area as he walked out that he was better than them.

A long, weary sigh snuck it’s way past Olive’s lips as she waited for her last patient of the day to arrive, mulling over her previous interactions with the band.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

“Long day, huh?”

Chuckling tiredly, she turned to greet the redhead as he meandered in, bee lining for the exam chair and hoisting himself up without being asked, settling at the very edge of the cushion.

“Yeah, man, just a bit.”

Green eyes sparkled at her in amusement, pierced brow raising as he began to tap out a light beat with his feet, elbows resting on his knees.

“Yehp, the other guys can be real douchebags aboot this stuff. Hope dey didn’t give yeh too much trouble?”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” the response was automatic and half-hearted as she scribbled a note about his fidgeting on the clipboard in hand.

“Dat so?”

She looked up at that and immediately regretted it. There was that damned side grin of his again.

“Y- yeah.”

Oh my god did I just fucking stutter?

It took all she had for her newly weak knees to not give out under her as he gave her a wink.

“Atta girl.”

This man is going to be the death of me.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Lots of dialogue in this, hope I didn’t ruin it. Comments are my life blood!

#metalocalypse #dethklok #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #william murderface #charles foster offdensen #writting #momento mori

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findingselene · 6 years ago

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Jorja Smith - Don’t Watch Me Cry

I am rereading my posts about M, and it is true. I knew I was going to get my heart broken since the beginning, and I think I am ready to write it all down. Miami. The break-up. The post break-up. My future.

To give myself some background, a month ago, we got into an awful fight. He wanted more, while I wanted a title for security. He agreed to make things exclusive, but later, he was regretting his decision. We were at dinner, and he told me that he wasn’t okay with making things exclusive, and I wasn’t okay with things not being exclusive. After make-up sex and long talks, it all came down to two questions: did he like me and did he want to make things work? But this was it. The last chance. After he talked to his counselor, he said that he was willing to give this a chance.

Then, things went smoothly for a couple weeks, but part of me felt like I wanted more. I wanted the pictures. I wanted to post him because I was happy with him. I wanted more out of our sexual lives. I wanted more. The night before Miami, we were having sex and I told him that I wanted him to last longer because I don’t get satisfied with just one round; I need more than one. Then, the conversation turned into me saying that I wanted more and he said that he’ll never be enough for me (which now it is true, I deserve more). Then, I left after he said something that I didn’t like, but I thought things were fine after we talked before we left for Miami. 305 was good. We were indeed a couple. We had some intimate moments and I was glad to hold his hand while he was trying to get into the water (his first time since his almost death experience). I can’t look at the pictures from Miami because in all of them, we are always together.

After Miami, I felt a change between us. I had a gut feeling about it, and I realized it during Valentine’s Day dinner. I told him that I was really happy with him, and I could tell he was uncomfortable and didn’t say anything. That night, I showed him my momento box, and didn’t say much. His kissing was desperate and it felt like it was our last (which I believe it was).

The next day, I felt very weird. I could tell something was wrong, but I couldn’t pinpoint what, but then I realized about what happened during Jazz night, and I knew that something was going to happen. Later that night, we were doing small talks and it still felt really weird. I even asked him if we were okay, and he said I think so. Then, when Almarie came, the sparkle guy that I liked showed up for her, not for me. I wasn’t jealous, I was sad because that was the moment I realized we were over, and I couldn’t stay there anymore. I didn’t tell anybody, but I left. I came back home. He called me, but I didn’t pick up. He wanted to talk, but I just couldn’t face it at that moment. I cried myself to sleep.

Next morning, I just knew. When I was on my way from Richmond, I called him and asked him to meet up. We decided to take a walk and we sat outside this house. I asked him what’s up, and he said that ever since our conversation before Miami, he feels like he would not be able to give me what I wanted. He couldn’t find the words, but I said “so you want out.” He said yes. Then, he tried to explain himself by saying what I already knew. “You know, I changed in the past year and I feel more confident. I want to be single.” I told him to stop, that I didn’t want to know that. I agreed with him that I deserve better and that I wasn’t there to make him want me or to beg. He was surprised that I was laughing, and not crying, and I believe this was the last time I looked into his eyes and said “you don’t deserve to see me cry.” I left.

I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t be by myself. I hated myself because I felt like I had given it my all, and it was never reciprocated. I was worried about keeping my friends, but I am not friends with my friends because of him, but because I made those connections. Tuesday, my friend group decided to hang before the snow arrived. I wanted to paint, and asked if I could do it. James asked me if I was okay with M coming over, and I said “to be honest, I don’t know but it is bound to happen sooner or later.” It was a little bit awkward being in the same room with him, but we made some small talk and we painted together. I left quite suddenly. He texted me that it was good hanging and that I was an artist. I didn’t respond until a couple days later.

I told James that I had texted him and he said why would you do that, that I deserve so much better. I trust him. Then, I said that I know sooner or later, he will realize that I was a great thing. He told me that M said that he wanted me back after our hangout on Tuesday. That boosted my hope a little bit, but it made me feel AMAZING because he is such a piece of shit for not realizing it sooner. I just felt great all of Friday because he knew he fucked up. He attempted to talk to me, but I mainly just ignored him. I liked the fact that he was the one chasing me, not the other way around. But, later that night, he was playing. I told myself that I was strong enough to go and enjoy the company of my friends. When they went into intermission, he tried to talk to me, but I ignored him. Then, my friend Erica was like “ugh nick is talking to a girl at the bar” and I looked and it hit me there. I was not mentally ready to see that. I picked up my stuff and left. I cried again. Tracy tried to make me feel better, but I just wanted to be alone. I texted James when I got home and I told him that I shouldn’t have gone because what a piece of shit to do that in front of me. He told me that he was not worth all my tears and that he lacks self-awareness. I cried myself to sleep again.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty shitty about myself. I still had responsibilities because I was a host for prospective students to the department so I knew I was going to be busy. My social battery was drained. Tracy wanted to see how I was doing and told her that I wasn’t feeling good. She told me that the girl that was talking to M was trying to flirt with E, then tried to flirt with M. But M told E that he didn’t want to do anything in front of me, and Tracy could see that M didn’t look okay. It still didn’t make what happened last night okay. When I came back from the vineyard, I couldn’t stop crying. I hated the fact that he was making me doubt myself and that I had hope for us. When I went to the faculty dinner, I didn’t want to talk that much so I stayed in the sidelines most of the night. I was sitting with Rachel and Kate, and I told Rachel that I didn’t want the sadness to rub off on her. She said that it was a crappy situation that she didn’t understand. I was a little bit confused. She said that first she didn’t know how did he get me and two how did he fuck it up. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. Here’s a person that barely knows me, but acknowledges that I deserve so much better. Everybody has told me that M will never do better than me, and at that moment, I believed it.

Oh I also told E that I will not be attending his shows any time soon because I don't want what happened last night to occur ever again. He said he was sorry and didn’t want to see me or M hurt each other. I feel bad, because I do like them as a band. I just need more time to be okay with that interaction.

He does not deserve any more of my tears. He does not deserve a third chance. He does not deserve my mental worry. I hope he realizes soon that he lost an amazing person.

For me, the future is looking brighter. Even though my heart is still healing, I know that in no time, I will be back on my feet. I need to heal (even if that means crying from time to time). I know I can do so much better than M. I know that I am a great catch, but I want to take the future months to work on myself and focus on my work. Once I am over M, no more distractions.

Part of me does hope that we remain friends at least. I still care about him as a person, and I believe there’s a small part of him that does care about me too. I know right now, it might be best to stop checking my phone every 10 minutes. It might be best to stop checking if he has seen my snapchat story, or responded on our GroupMe.

Instead of hating myself, this had to happen in my self-love process. Love yourself through thick and thin. Love your ugly crying face. Love the fact that you are humble, vulnerable, and caring. Learn how to care for the people that deserve it, and not waste it on people that don’t. Learn to not apologize for what you are feeling and to let people in into your life (such as your girlfriends). Learn to not let the small things get in the way of your happiness. Learn to appreciate your water proof makeup.

Learn how to be single.

#journal

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aboundlesswombofcultivations · 4 years ago

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t h u r s d a y n i g h t (w h e n d r e a m s c o m e t r u e)

--- L E V R U B I N S H T E I N

--translation of Lev Rubinshtein by Philip Metres and Tanya Tulchinsky

All night I was dreaming of the frontier regions of existence. Waking up, I could remember only something between water and dry land, silence and speech, sleep and waking and managed to think: "Here it is, the aesthetic of uncertainty. Here it is again..."

I dreamt as if someone long gone and, it seemed, completely forgotten, suddenly appeared and looked at me so attentively that I woke, my heart pounding...

I dreamt that I had to get up and look if she were sleeping. I woke up, and could not remember for a long time who I was thinking of. Then I remembered...

I dreamt that I had to hide in my shell for awhile, and then, as they say, we'll see. I woke up and thought "Well, I don't know, I don't know..."

I dreamt that happiness truly knew no bounds. Waking up, I thought "Well, I'll be damned..."

I dreamt that you only have a chance four times in life. Waking, I thought that there was surely something to this...

I was dreaming that the most important thing was to find the most adequate form of sympathy for each other. Then I woke up...

I was dreaming that the idea of a clear page is a short circuit to any consistent aesthetic experience. Then I woke up...

I was dreaming that one could proceed from the fact that our sense of self is a sense of self of self-created personages, existing in their own time and space. And that the starting point of such sense of self, as a matter of fact, draws us together. Then I woke up...

I dreamt two whole arguments in my support, but of course I could not remember them...

I dreamt a third argument as well. But it also remained there in the dream...

I dreamt of the long-awaited coming of a hero. His appearance was often gloomy, but his constant readiness to be happy was indubitable. He was impressive in his open and keen relation to reality. Waking up, I thought that there was nothing to add to this.

I dreamt the rare flitters of fading hopes. Neither bright, nor warm, they silently smoldered down in the windless deeps of the consciousness.

I was so used to them, my tired brain almost failed to acknowledge them, my head would no longer lift at their sight, my nostrils would no longer inflate, my pulse would no longer quicken. It seemed that nothing could break my despondent calm. It seemed that nothing forbode any change...

I dreamt of an ancient park with trees immersed in thought. Along its shaded alley, a lonely figure moved towards me. I noticed it from far off and almost immediately guessed who it was. But you've probably guessed as well...

I dreamt that they were obviously not alone there. Someone prowled in the night without a sound, like a thief. "Quiet-whispered Heinrich with his lips pursed-you didn't hear anything?" Both listened. Silence ensued again. It was as if lightning sudde nly sliced through the dark...

I dreamt of creaking floorboards and balding rugs of a small boarding house on the shore of Lake Bodenskoe. The weather during these days was rainy and unpleasant. The mistress of the boarding house was a good-natured and flabby woman about fifty years old. The table usually sat about ten or twelve guests. They were of different nationalities, habits, and interests. There was nothing to talk about, and lunch was stale. Boredom and despair reigned at the table.

Still, one of the guests did grab my attention. He was a young, sickly-looking Italian, always silent, who would only rarely cast around an obscure glance, as if something known only to him had momentarily awakened him from his usual stupor...

I dreamt of a massive gray Ministry of Navigation building. It was located just a couple steps from my old apartment. And my windows looked right out onto the same despondent square. And along my windows each morning and each night strode the faceless chain of clerks. If I could have thought then...

I dreamt of little Kolya's face, happy for no reason, and the concentrated faces of his family, and the impatient face of the driver, and all the other faces-relatives, acquaintances, those barely known, and those not known at all. All of them diffused in the dim consciousness of Konstantin, merged into one quickly revolving spot, and he fell, as if cut down, to the wet asphalt of an empty train platform that morning.

I dreamt the situation was such that if a clear and quivering voice suddenly appeared amid the inarticulate din of the crowd, it, too, would be lost in the gnashing. Those who would manage to hear it would only exchange looks, nod knowingly to each other, and that would perhaps be the end, if not for the

I dreamt that we all had to live by touch: here a loophole, here a fence, there a solid wall. And our life passes, from decision to doubt, from a nod to an interjection, from dream to toil...

I dreamt a light went out somewhere in the middle. And the voice crying out in the wilderness could no longer be heard. The warmth had dispersed, never to return. Only glass glancing at glass, fleeting, inarticulate...

I dreamt of a caustic smoke and my own death mask. What will we give as a momento? What will we grab at the last moment? Paradise is not for us, so we don't walk in pairs. It's so basic it's not worth explaining...

I dreamt my heart's pulled out from its sheath each night. What do we know? What can we do? Whoever knows, be silent...

I dreamt of the emptiness of the sky. We both felt lost in it. You said: "The swallow over there will remember us until we die..."

I dreamt we were saying goodbye on the bridge. We are tired, we'll take a rest... All nature's actions happen for a reason. No one will be delighted to receive us. Neither of us knows what will happen tomorrow, or the day after. Our final meeting. We are saying goodbye to each other on the bridge...

I dreamt he was buried in a grave, out of his mind. With a long flame the candle burned recklessly...

I dreamt he lay down on the sand forever. Who could understand the earthly bustle, if not him? That nothing is what it seems... That what's said is beyond us. And here above the earth our dear comrade soars... We'll also go the way water wouldn't flow. Where brains fall off, and shrieks, and pitch dark. We'll go as well--it's time, it's time for us to leave this home. We wanted to live, and this is what it's come to...

I dreamt at dawn of my balcony all twined with snow, overflowing with something crimson, and my stallion's nape marked with murderous fangs, the vengeful glare of wolves-- luminous fish sparkling, then disappearing--as they head for the woods.

Over my shoulder I heard my rifle's parting cry, a crazed laugh of a fallen animal's shriek.

My dying horse, a white steam through a wide-open door, an unending blizzard, a ski trail overgrown with snow...

I dreamt my scarcely breathing ship was sinking, while in the storming space I was engaged in a miraculous prayer...

I was dreaming of nothing much-- just numbness and endurance. Let's hide our beaks in our plumage at this crossroads of winds. We know how much this is worth, and that too. But who'll be in charge of our stage, when we take up the pilgrim's staff and bag? And how do we proceed in such mist, not for an hour, not for a day, but for a thousand years-- our contempt stuck in our pocket, tet a tet with the cold wind?

I dreamt as if they were running--my remaining days, looming ahead, while I was left behind. The quiver of six transparent wings revealed myself to me, and I woke up...

I was dreaming he was right here, sitting on my bed. He was here, clear as day, and yet he wasn't here. Who knows better than him that all has changed, and there's no place for hope or an unbiased mind.

The quiver of six transparent wings revealed myself to me, and I woke up...

I was dreaming at dawn of a half-demon, half-corpse staring with its many eyes out of a gilded frame. He said: "Don't wait in vain--a miracle won't happen. If you have a place to run to, then get out of here." He said: "Follow me, I'll show you the way." With a heavy head I woke up...

I was dreaming of a balance of paper, a memory gone to sleep. Lulled by the song of dripping moisture I let slip another spring. My tongue was nursing the stingy definition of life's meaning. But then long ray fell on my blanket, and I woke up...

I was dreaming that dreams bring relief, yet take something from you forever. And then I woke up...

I dreamt of a phrase: "my Deep Throat muse."

After I woke up, I lay with my eyes open for a long time...

I dreamt that retelling dreams you don't remember is a kind of occupation.

Waking up, I thought, "why not?"

I dreamt that I didn't care who cried because of which onion. Waking up, I thought, "I don't care."

I dreamt that if "today's Thursday" is said on Thursday, then it means that today is Thursday. If "today's Thursday" is said on Friday, then it's either or lie or a mistake, or something else.

Waking up, I thought that, really, what is said is as important as when it is said...

I dreamt as if we were sitting here and doing the same thing that we're doing now. Waking up, I thought that there really was nothing unusual about this...

I dreamt an uncountable number of various possibilities.

Waking up, I tried for a long time to remember something, anything...

On the very brink between dream and waking, I dreamt what whatever exists, does indeed exist.

Waking up, I thought: "That's how it should be..."

#poetry #L E V R U B I N S H T E I N #between thursday and friday #surrealist #dreams

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changingourdestiny · 4 years ago

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About Rae

Thanks to @pretty-meekish for making this template! I’ll be doing these for all of the fanmade characters.

Guardians name: Raegalia Drakyx

Age: 6

Race: Paralian

Call signs/alias: Stasis Vanguard Rae

Pronouns: She/Her

Class: Warlock

Preferred subclass(es): Dawnblade and Shadebinder

Ghost's name: Ghost/Little Light

Their Vanguard: Ikora Rey

Fireteam name: Paralight

Fireteam teammates: Blaze, Adam, Marcia, Tif, Crow

Favorite legendary weapon: Misfit

Favorite exotic weapon: Lumina

Favorite exotic armor: Sunbracers

Favorite ornament armor set: Northlight Set

Favorite weapon ornament: Shot Through the Heart (The Vow)

What stats do they focus on: Intellect and Discipline

Are they offense, defense, or support: Offense and support

Do they prefer being close, mid, or long range: Mid and long range

Do they lean more "Element of Surprise" or "Upfront and Aggressive": Element of Surprise

Strikes, Gambit, or Crucible: Strikes and Crucible.

Who was their mentor(if they had one. If it is a character you created, tell us about them!): Ikora Rey

Who are they mentoring(if they are. If it is a character you created, tell us about them!): The Crow

What ship do they have: A plum and gold Talon Blue she nicknamed Skylance

What is their Sparrow: A plum Wayfarer Zero with a gold trim nicknamed Dragon’s Reign

Favorite Ghost shell: Last City Shell

Favorite shader: Amethyst Bloom

Favorite color: Plum/pink

Favorite food: Tonkotsu ramen

Favorite piece of Pre-Collapse tech(if they've seen any): Video game consoles

Favorite Pre-Collapse music(if they've heard any): Video game OSTs

Favorite place in The Last City(if it's a place you created, give a little description!): The Bazaar

Favorite NPC(s): Cayde-6

Favorite patrol location: The Cosmodrome

5 things your Guardian likes(can be anything): - Ghost - The Dawning - Spending time with Cayde - Learning about Paralian history - Going a day without a disaster occurring or her Fireteam giving her a nervous breakdown

Least favorite food: Anything sour

Least favorite shader: Anything neon

Least favorite patrol location: The Moon

Least favorite Pre-Collapse tech(if they've seen any): None

Least favorite NPC(s): The Spider

Least favorite weapon ornament: Lucid Melody (Lumina)

Least favorite ornament armor set: Virtuous Set

Least favorite legendary weapon: Trust

Least favorite exotic weapon: Thorn

Least favorite exotic armor: Verity’s Brow

5 things your Guardian dislikes(this can be anything): - Getting overly stressed - Hive - Not being listened to - Being lied to - Feeling powerless

Your Guardian has to rest. What is their living space like: A fairly neat apartment aside from a few books and report papers scattered across a desk. Overall, very cozy.

Does your Guardian have any casual wear?(Y'all remember Polyvore? The website URSTYLE works very similar if that helps!):

What hobbies and/or skills does you Guardian have: Sketching

What would your Guardian's lore book be called: Walking the Line

Where was your Guardian reborn?(If you created the location, give us a little description!): The Cosmodrome

What were they wearing when they were reborn: Brown and gold robes with matching boots and metal plating

What was their reaction to being reborn: Confusion with a bit of fear

What was their reaction to their first rez: Confusion has been doubled but with an odd sense of relief

After being reborn, did they meet friendlies first or hostiles: Technically friendlies since she met Ghost first. But after that she encountered Fallen, so hostiles.

Who was the first other Guardian they met?(Same thing! If you made them, give a little description!): Cayde-6. He helped her up after she tripped down the stairs when first entering the Hall of Guardians.

Did your Guardian get reborn with, or find, any indication of their past life? If so what do they have/found: She had a journal written in strange glyphs except for the last page which was in English and briefly described who she was and what she was doing before her death

How did your Guardian get their name(if they didn't rez with past life momentos): Her name was engraved on the front of her journal: Raegalia Drakyx. She came up with Rae as a nickname

Going back to your Guardian's lore book, what would be some some quotes or passages from their book: “I find myself constantly thinking about this one line I tend to hear over and over. I first heard it from Uldren. ‘The line between Light and Dark is so very thin’. He asked me what side I was on. I finally have an answer now. I walk that line.”

Does your Guardian have a significant other: Cayde-6

Did your Guardian go explore first before going to The Last City? If so, where to: Nope. She and Ghost found a jumpship and went straight to the city

What was their reaction to first seeing The Last City: Awestruck. She thought the City was the most beautiful place she had ever seen

Is your Guardian a part of a clan: No

If your Guardian would have a quote as a flavor text for a weapon and/or piece of armor, what would they be: “Don’t view your power as a means of destruction. See it as a means of preserving life.”

If your Guardian has had any interactions with any civilians (The Last City/The Farm), Eliksni, Cabal, Vex, Hive, Taken, Scorn, Rouge Lightbearers, or Iron Lords/War Lords(if your Guardian is an Old Light) tell us about it!: Her first strange interaction was with Marcia in the Cosmodrome while prepping to enter the Black Garden. Back then, Marcia ran a group of rogue Lightbearers called the Umbrialyx and a few of them had been causing trouble for other Guardians. Marcia was the first rogue lightbearer Rae had ever met.

Does your Guardian have any unconventional allies or connections(By Vanguard standards): Rae and Fireteam Paralight are allies with the House of Light after she saved Mithrax from a Hive Knight on Titan and then met Tif, a human Titan who was also a Captain of House Light, a few years later when helping them secure a generator

How does your Guardian feel about themselves or others using Stasis: Rae understands the risks of using Stasis, which is why she suggested to Zavala that instead of outlawing Stasis, have her teach Guardians how to use it properly without risking corruption

Did they run The Last Wish raid? How did they react to seeing a live Ahamkara a.k.a Riven: Awe. She had heard of them beforehand and now to see one in person, she almost didn’t want to kill it.

Did they run The Deep Stone Crypt raid? How did they react to the Crypt and seeing Exo Eliskni: Disappointment. She had really hoped that no one would continue Clovis’s awful experiments. Seeing the Exo Eliksni just made her hate the House of Salvation even more.

Is your Guardian from D1? How did they react to seeing Taniks alive once again: Here’s a direct quote! “....TRAVELLER....D A M N I T ! ! !”

Where did they go and what did they do during The Red War: Rae fell from Ghaul’s ship after losing her Light, gaining the scar over her eye in the process. A few months later, she regained her Light via the shard of the Traveler and led the revolt against Ghaul after reuniting the Vanguard.

Here are some characters that are either polarizing or have created a strong enough mass emotion within the community. What opinion does your Guardian hold on each of them(These are only a handful of characters!)>>>

Osiris, First Warlock Vanguard, originally exiled: Rae looks up to Osiris and admires his dedication to his work and beliefs. She definitely sees the similarities between him and Ikora. Despite the light ribbing she tends to give him (he calls him grumpy Tower grandpa), she respects him. Though she does wish he would ask Saint on a date already. “You broke time to save him, for Traveler’s sake, at least bring him out for dinner!”

Eris Morn, Bane of the Swarm: The first person she met when she arrived in the Tower. Rae respects Eris’s wisdom and knowledge as well as her determination. Though Rae does wish she’d tone down the Vanguard roasts a bit (her self-confidence is bad enough as it is).

Cayde-6, Sixth Hunter Vanguard: Rae loves Cayde with every ounce of her being and more. She’s had a crush on him since working with him during Oryx’s invasion but never acted upon it, despite her teammates constant teasing. Seeing him die in front of her tore her apart. Thankfully she able to save him thanks to her Paralian heritage, and confessed to him after she returned from the Reef. The two have been near inseparable since. Cayde’s nickname for her in Sunrae while her nickname for him is Wildcard.

Ikora Rey, Second Warlock Vanguard: Rae looks up to Ikora the most. She’s trained under Ikora since she was a Kinderguardian and has flourished since. A lot of Guardians who know Rae say she is a mini-Ikora, from her witty comebacks, to her terrifying demeanor when angered.

Commander Zavala, Second Titan Vanguard: Rae respects Zavala as a fellow Vanguard, commander, and friend, but she’s not shy to speak up if she feels that something isn’t right...or to go behind his back to do an unorthodox mission.

Saint-14, legendary Titan, First Titan Vanguard: If Osiris is the grumpy grandpa, Saint’s the fun grandpa. Rae enjoys Saint’s company and finds he brings an air of liveliness to the Tower since his return.

Lord Saladin, Iron Banner handler, One of the last remaining Iron Lords: Rae respects Saladin but wishes that, while she agrees it isn’t always the answer, he would give diplomacy a chance instead of assuming every enemy has to be killed.

Lord Shaxx, Crucible handler, Hero of Twilight Gap, living megaphone: Like Saint, Rae enjoys Shaxx’s company and hearing stories of Ikora’s Crucible days. Rae frequents the Crucible in hopes of one day beating Ikora’s kill streak record and Shaxx supports her endeavors (when Ikora isn’t listening of course). Though he does have a bet with Cayde as to who’d win in a 1v1 fight. Shaxx’s glimmer is on Ikora but only because Cayde already called dibs on Rae.

The Crow, New Light, Ex-Enforcer to The Spider: Despite the initial shock of seeing him again, Rae quickly warmed up to Crow and began helping him train his Light. She was more than happy to hear that he wanted to be a Guardian. He honestly reminded her of her Kinderguardian self: unsure, curious, and wanting to help.

The Spider, The Shore's Only Law, founder of "House" Spider: Rae trust’s Spider less than Drifter, and that’s saying something! She was wary of him during her first visit to the Tangled Shore, but after finding out what he did to Glint to keep Crow in the Reef, she was ready to risk the consequences and go ham on him. Rae is usually quite patient but Spider has tested those limits too many times.

Uldren Sov, Prince of the Reef, Master of Crows: Rae and Uldren didn’t like each other at all from the moment they met. But after Blaze regained the memories of her past life with Uldren, they agreed to tolerate each other for her sake. When he killed Cayde, Rae was ready to go to war with the Reef. She wanted to be the one to end him so badly but when he requested Blaze be the last one he saw, she put her hatred aside to grant his request, allowing Blaze to be the one to end him.

Mara Sov, Queen of the Reef, Queen of the Awoken, Ex-Kell of Wolves: Rae has mixed feelings about Mara. She has a certain level of respect for the Awoken queen but doesn’t agree with most of her ruling methods and, while she’ll never say it aloud, Rae sees her as a coward.

Variks, the Loyal, founder of House Judgement: When Variks isn’t trying to get his hands on Ghost or her ship, Rae respects Variks. While she does recognise that Variks had a hand in the Prison of Elders incident, she doesn’t hold him directly accountable for Cayde’s death.

Mithrax, the Forsaken, Kell of Light, founder of House Light: Rae views Mithrax as a powerful ally and friend. They have a mutual respect for each other and have helped each other on a couple of occasions.

The Exo Stranger/Elizabeth "Elsie" Bray, Granddaughter of Clovis I and Sister to Ana Bray: While Rae doesn’t know much about Elsie, she does trust her. She was the one who pointed Rae and her Fireteam towards the Black Garden and thus put them on their path to becoming one of the most well-known Fireteams in the Tower. Elsie was also the one who helped teach Rae how to use Stasis.

Eramis, of House Salvation, Kell of Darkness: Rae initially wanted to resolve the conflict with House Salvation peacefully but Eramis proved unwilling to listen and was the first to actually break the limit on Rae’s patience, the latter killing Eramis with no mercy.

Empress Caiatl of the Cabal Imperial Empire: While she finds Caiatl aggravating with her views and methods of ruling, Rae is relieved that she’s not as creepy as her father.

Taniks the Scarred, the Perfected, the Abomination, the Shadow Thief: “DIE ALREADY!!!”

The Darkness is fast approaching. How is your Guardian handling it: Rae is becoming more anxious about the Darkness’s arrival and is having self-doubts, but is keeping a brave face for everyone else’s sake.

And finally, does your Guardian have any advice for any New Lights: Be yourself, do what you think is right, and never give up!

#Changing our Destiny #rae drakyx #character profile #destiny 2

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heroes-of-our-hearts · 5 years ago

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Chapter One: A Study in Stealth

“The number one hero in America is still missing. If you’ve heard anything or have any information, please conta-”

Click.

“All Might was spotted today helping civilians escape from a villain with a fire quirk. In just-”

Click.

“We’ve heard all about your career, now we’re really interested in hearing more about your personal life. What can you tell us about-”

Click.

You let out a sigh at the sudden silence. It was odd hearing everything in a different language, but you’d spent years studying so that you could come to Japan one day. You thought it’d be under better circumstances, but life seemed to have a different plan for you.

Your gaze slid around the empty apartment you called home. It’d been months since the move. You hadn’t bothered settling in though, realizing that each momento you had would put you and those you cared about in more danger. It felt barren, white walls and plain furniture.

Part of you didn’t even feel like the same person anymore, despite still going by your birth name. Your whole world had flipped upside down so quickly. You weren’t sure if you were more angry or sad.

You didn’t have time to mope, however, as the time on your phone showed it to be nearly 7:00 am. You were going to be late for your first day of work.

A smile tugged at your lips. UA High School had a big reputation, and you were excited to be joining their staff for the time being. It’d been part of the relocation process. They thought of choosing a lower profile job, but what better way to hide than in plain sight?

He’d never know you were here, and until you could devise a plan to catch him, you would be safe.

There was a pep in your step that had been missing for weeks now. You felt like you had a purpose again, your hands twitching with the thought of using your quirk. There wasn’t much of a chance to be able to use it since you’d left America, and it became apparent that using your quirk would draw too many questions. So, when you left, you’d settled on a new profile.

You hummed at the thought of it.

The train was quiet this early in the morning, allowing you to ponder what the students would be like. Entertaining, for sure. They were the future of heroes, after all. None would recognize you, they’d think you were some unknown pro from America.

You could live with it.

Especially considering your quirk was now water manipulation, instead of your actual quirk. Not even the other teachers could be privy to that information. The only one who knew of your origins was Nedzu, and he swore to not tell a soul.

Your nerves were alight the whole train ride, and you found yourself eager to jump off. It wasn’t a very far walk from the station to the school, and you rather enjoyed the weather. It was definitely a change of pace from what you were accustomed to.

As you approached the school, your eyes grew wide. You’d seen many, many grand places in your day, but to be at a school as renowned as UA, well, you were a bit overwhelmed.

Even more overwhelming was the press steadfastly trying to get within the walls of the high school. They were crowding the entrance, pushing past one another to get a peek of the school All Might himself taught at.

And didn’t that bring a smile to your face.

You were a fan, if you were being honest. He always exuded such strength and bravery. He was the one who inspired you to pick up heroics to begin with.

The press was a bit of a problem. You didn’t want the one who was supposed to be your temporary tour guide thinking you were just a news reporter trying to get the inside scoop. As respectfully as you could manage, you pushed your way through the crowd, spotting a glint just below the gates.

You recognized that face rather well. It was Present Mic, a pro hero and rather popular radio show host. He was no-so-covertly waiting for you, his hands in his pockets as he whistled a tune.

You straightened out your hero costume. Well, it wasn’t really your hero costume. It was one that’d been designed for the sake of your cover. This was a fair bit more blue than you were used to.

“Present Mic,” you called, catching his attention almost immediately.

His gaze zeroed in on you, or at least you think it did, it was difficult to tell with the sunglasses.

“I’m Poseidous,” you told him, holding out one hand for him to shake. “The new teacher.”

You hated that name. It was cliche, really, without a lot of creativity behind it. You weren’t really expecting much though, considering an FBI specialist had created the profile for you.

It was like a lightbulb went off above his head. He took hold of your hand before pulling you in for an all out hug.

“American,” he said in English, pulling back from your embrace to hold your shoulders, “Very nice.”

You chuckled, awkwardly patting at the hands resting on you.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

He gave you a goofy little salute, a wide smile on his lips as he opened his arms in a grandiose gesture.

“Welcome to UA!”

His voice was loud and you cringed a bit at the sheer volume, but he was nice enough that you weren’t going to complain. As you stepped onto the grounds for the very first time, he launched into a detailed explanation of the school and the students that were attending.

You had little trouble keeping up, as you’d already been debriefed about important information- who you could rely on in the event of danger, training rooms, and escape routes. Hizashi, who had asked you to call him by his real name, was thoroughly enjoying your presence. The two of you got along well, playful banter and silly puns be damned.

“And I hate to do this to you,” he stopped in front of a door, one that seemed to be full. “But it’s time for you to meet class 1-A.”

You weren’t exactly nervous to meet the students, as you’d taught several young heroes previously, but you were more anxious about keeping your identity hidden. You had read and reread all of the notes that contained who you were, your backstory, your quirk, and even things as simple as your daily routine.

“Wait, hate to do it?” You echoed, but the man in questioned had unceremoniously shoved you through the doorway, slamming it shut behind you.

Silence followed, your eyes glaring so hard at the door you were sure a hole was going to burn through it. You’d known him for a whole of an hour and he was already acting like your best friend. You held back at cursing the man, sure that the students didn’t need to be exposed to you swearing like a sailor.

A cough caused you to look up, your lips settling into a fake smile. Customer service, (Y/N), you could do it.

“Oh, hello,” you greeted.

This time you weren’t able to stop the curse from making its way past your lips. You were so used to speaking English that you could sometimes forget where you were.

“Shit, sorry, force of habit,” you apologized, cringing at your own cuss.

Off to a great start, really. You got a handle on this whole ‘undercover’ situation. Nobody would ever figure you out now, especially considering how eloquent the media described you to be.

“This is a new teacher,” the current teacher introduced you, and okay, was that glare really necessary?

He looked utterly exhausted, and honestly, you could understand. It was early. Mornings were your enemy most days. You could never survive as a teacher, especially considering you struggled to get up during your school years.

Eraserhead, you realized. He was one of the teachers you’d been given a file on. You had to admit though, he was handsome in an unconventional way. It was more of a ‘I don’t have to try’ way, but you could still admire it.

“Hi, I’m Poseidous,” you announced, taking a moment to scan the bright faces of your new students.

You’d be teaching them on quirk development. At least, that’s what you were told. You still didn’t quite understand what UA was expecting of you. You’d taught a few kids, sure, but you by no means had any sort of degree that qualified you for teaching.

“I’m a pro hero from America,” you continued, glad that you didn’t have to stretch the lie too greatly. “And I’ll be teaching quirk development.”

A few hands shot up when you finished your little introduction. You raised a brow and looked back to Eraserhead. The man in question was staring at you, waiting for you to interact with his students.

Right, he thought you were an actual teacher. Fake it ‘til you make it.

“Yes,” you pointed to the kid with green hair and freckles. He seemed nice enough but the way his eyes were analyzing you was a bit concerning.

“Hello,” he mumbled, a bit shy. “I was just wondering what your quirk was? I’ve never heard of you.”

You raised your brow. Right to it then, eh kid?

“Water manipulation,” you lied, a smile ever present on your lips. “And what’s your name?”

“M-Midoriya,” he replied, too busy writing in his journal to allow for any further interaction.

Okay, okay, not bad.

“What’s up?” You nodded to the girl who was sitting up straight, her brown hair pulled high into a ponytail.

“What will your class entail?” You took note of how she went out of her way to speak English. It was surprisingly really good.

The studious one, you realized.

“We’ll be focusing on improving your quirk specifically. Each lesson will be tailored to help you develop strengths and minimize weaknesses.” Your reply was in English as well, and at the gentle nods she was giving throughout your talk, you knew she was understanding.

“Thank you,” she said back, a kind smile on her face. “I’m Yaoyorozu Momo.”

Just as you were about to call on another student, Eraserhead perked up again.

“Ask your questions later, you have an exam to study for.” He reminded them.

The students all grumbled, but one glare from their teacher, and they stopped immediately.

“Damn, where’d you learn that trick?” You asked, a playful smile on your face.

His expression was blank, his tired eyes just staring at you. You blinked.

“Not a talker like the other guy, got it,” you nodded, not put out by the odd behavior. In your time as a hero, you’d definitely seen odder. “I’m (Y/N) (L/N) by the way.”

You extended your hand in greeting, and weren’t the least bit surprised when he didn’t take it.

“Aizawa Shouta,” he said instead, his gaze flicking from your hand to your face.

You hummed.

“So I take it the other guy was referring to you when he apologized for throwing me in here.”

Shouta raised a brow, and you could see the hints of a smiling threatening to tug at his lips. Oh, you’d get there one day.

“Hizashi?”

Though it was a question, you knew he didn’t need any confirmation.

“Great guy,” you commented, holding your fingers up in a mock salute. “I’m off to go meet the others though. I’ll see you around, Shouta.”

You felt his eyes on you, as well as a few of the students, as you left the room. There, that wasn’t so bad. Just be yourself. Only, not yourself at all, because nobody could know who you were. So be yourself, just not your hero self, and don’t bring any attention to yourself.

Easy enough.

Two teachers down, and only a few more to go if you were being honest. You had to limit contact to those who would only be necessary. Apparently, only the teachers of class 1-A fit that bill.

You were roaming the halls rather aimlessly, not really worried about time constrictions. You didn’t teach until later in the day, and the meeting with Nedzu wasn’t for another half hour. Your mindless activity was interrupted by a very large, very sturdy body.

Your eyes slid all the way up the expanse of his chest- which by the way, what was he wearing? You made eye contact with the great Symbol of Peace, though you’d be lying if your gaze didn’t flick up to those legendary bangs for just a moment. You gulped.

Not intimidating at all, right? Just a seven foot man with more muscle than you had dreams.

“All Might,” you said as nonchalantly as you could manage.

Luckily enough, your voice didn’t crack. Now that would’ve been embarrassing.

“You’re the new teacher, yes?” He inquired, leaning down to get a proper look.

“Hey, I’m not that short,” you muttered indignantly. And okay, maybe you were that short in comparison, but come on buddy, your dignity couldn’t take the hit.

“Sorry,” he mumbled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Poseidous, right?”

You held out a hand to him, pleased when he shook it like a normal human being. One for three, (L/N).

“That’s me,” you proclaimed with a false cheeriness.

No, that was not you. That was so far from you, that you were sure you would’ve made fun of anyone who picked that name. Okay, no, you weren’t that mean. You would’ve definitely made a pun out of the name, or a Percy Jackson reference, or something else that wasn’t super mean, but definitely jested at the name.

“It’s a delight to meet another up and coming hero.”

You had no idea how he kept that smile up. To be honest, if the whole hero business ever fell through, he’d do great in the customer service industry. Would it be impolite to say that?

“And it’s an honor to meet Japan’s number one,” you replied in kind, though this time the smile was genuine.

You’d been wanting to meet him for some time. The last time you were anywhere near him was after you’d been rising through the ranks. Someone from your agency had worked out a meeting and everything, but it’d been cancelled last minute after a particularly gruesome villain attack. That was what you call a major disappointment.

He was supposed to be one of the world’s best, and honestly, you kind of wanted to fight him. Not like, ‘I’m evil and I want to destroy what you stand for’ kind of fight, but the kind where you test your abilities against somebody of his caliber.

It’d be interesting, that’s for sure. And it’d get one hell of a crowd. Perhaps it could be for a fundraiser event? You’d have to suggest the idea to your agency when you returned.

“I have a meeting with the principal,” you nodded your head in the general direction of his office. “Wow, didn’t think I’d be saying that again.”

The hero before you laughed, a deep and hearty sound. It was uplifting, and you found yourself joining in.

“Take care, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around,” he said.

“Likewise,” you replied, leaving with a gentle wave.

The walk to the principal’s office was quiet. The halls were empty while students were in their classes. It was eerie, a high school hallway without the hustle and bustle of teenagers. But it was also a little nostalgic. Don’t be misled, high school was awful and you’d never do it again, but a part of you did miss being so young, having no real care in the world.

You found yourself in front of Nedzu’s office surprisingly quickly, making you wonder if the walk was shorter than you thought or if you’d really just been that lost in your own mind. Starstruck, if you will.

You knocked gently, waiting with your hands clasped behind your back. The little creature that served as UA’s principal didn’t make you wait for long. He was ushering you inside within a minute of your arrival, his little paws gesturing towards the couch across from him. You took the seat gratefully, feeling the stress peel away at not having to worry about keeping your identity a secret.

“How is it so far?” He asked, speaking to you in English.

You smiled at the principal. He was aware you could speak both languages, but he’d done everything in his power to make you feel more at home. Apparently, this included speaking your native tongue.

“Lovely, actually,” you answered, surprised to find that you were telling the truth.

From what you’d seen, the campus was beautiful and large. You couldn’t wait to make use of the training rooms, even if you would have to wait until night before using your quirk. The staff that you’d met was friendly, and the students were pleasant as well. All in all, it could’ve been a hell of a lot worse.

“Though I wish I could be here under better circumstances.”

Nedzu offered a grimace in reply. He had been asking for you to make an appearance at the last few sports festivals. You had wanted to attend one but your schedule had gotten a bit hectic. Now, it seems you’d finally have the chance. Though, he’d wanted your hero moniker to attend really, so it didn’t have the same effect.

“Perhaps you’ll be able to return after everything is settled.”

His tone was hopeful, lifting your spirits the smallest bit. You had faith in your own ability as a hero, so you weren’t afraid of being unable to finish the task. You were just unhappy it would take so long before you could reclaim your image.

“It’s been all over the news,” Nedzu added as an afterthought. He gestured towards the television tucked in the corner of his office, the title in big red lettering.

America’s Number One Hero, Where Has She Gone?

You scrunched your nose up at that.

“Why do they always use the title, not my hero name?” You asked a bit redundantly. Nedzu took it upon himself to answer anyways.

“The title is more recognizable here,” he informed you, shrugging. “Though, I’m sure many still know your hero name, Tempest.”

You managed a half smile at the words he spoke. Okay, maybe you weren’t the most creative at hero names either, but Tempest was what you chose when you were fifteen, and you’d be damned if anyone tried to make you change it now.

Besides, Tempest was the number one hero in America. Nobody would question your decision, even if they thought it sounded lame.

“Maybe the people of Japan will get to know Poseidous,” you stated, only half-joking.

You were itching to get back out into the hero business. At first, it’d been a nice break. Now, you were just getting antsy. Not to mention, everyone thought you had abandoned them. You’d been listening to the news articles about your disappearance and most of them were about how the public assumed he’d gotten to you.

The principal tsked.

“No patrolling,” he reminded you, crossing his arms over his chest. “No being a hero, just a teacher.”

You deflated at that comment.

“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered, slouching back into the seat.

“Now, let’s get you prepared for your first class.”

That lightened your spirits, if only a little. You had something to look forward to, even though you wanted nothing more than to return home and show them that you hadn’t been defeated.

Alas, they were forcing you into hiding until there was a better plan of attack, until you were ready to go on the offensive. Luckily for you, you’d kept your hero life and your private life entirely separate. There was no one who knew of both identities, except for Nedzu. Not even the agent who had created your profile knew who you really were.

You could do this. You could help these kids prepare for their future as a hero, and then return to your duties once you were ready.

It was just a matter of waiting.

#aizawa shouta x reader #eraserhead x reader #mha imagine #vendetta

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dontcallmekoda · 5 years ago

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Loss hurts more than once

2019 has been a rough year so far. I lost my grandpa on my mom's side (Mike) in January. Lost my dog who got my dog that got me through a lot in April. Even more recently my grandpa on my dad's side (Doug) died on father's day. My mom has always said "when it comes to adversity you can either let it define you or let it drive you" and I'll be coming back to that later.

So me and my grandpa Mike were not very close because he has always seemed to be on the move but I made an effort to answer if he called or say hi through my mom as she talked to him more often. It wasn't until I went with my mom from Tucson to Dallas that I actually learned who he was. After talking to many aunts, uncles, and cousins I didn't even know existed I tried to meet my grandpa after he was already cold and it hurt alot. I originally went to help my mom but the more I found out, the more I felt like I squandered my chance to really get to meet an amazing Craftsman and interesting storyteller that was my grandpa. Upon going through his things I found myself balling upon finding a folder of his that was dedicated to me with every birthday or Christmas card I sent, every picture he had of me (from birth to graduation to military and so on) and knowing no matter how distant we were he still cared for me. He also had folders for my mom and sister and they appeared to be in similar situations. His death was sudden, a heart attack at 56.

Next I lost my dog and friend. This may not seem like much but know that a dog can be more than family to some. His name was Koda and I've raised him since 2 days old as my parents were attempting to breed huskies. He was this little cinnamon Siberian husky who stayed golden his whole life. Koda helped me many times when I didn't want to go on, he could sense when I was down and broke my screen jumping through an open window when I had a knife to my wrist once. He was a huge part of my world and he helped me feel not alone. A while after my parents split he was who kept me together until my Dad went through a hard time and he couldn't stay with us anymore as we moved into a place with no yard and my dad was very against inside dogs. So Koda moved to my dad and Grandpa's shop and became a pseudo guard dog and he was good at it. With him being further away I started seeing him less and less and when I moved out on my own I always wanted to bring him with me but it wasn't possible in any of the places I could afford. I got a text from my Dad that he had passed and I was heartbroken that I'd never get to see my friend again. I spent that night alone with a bowl and a bottle of vodka. It was a hard night.

On to my grandpa Doug. He was a a good guy who lost his wife in March. He had remarried after my grandma and Joy and himself had been happily together as long as I had known my grandpa. It had become obvious that he wasn't going to last long after her passing as his age started to show and his behavior changed drastically but when the illness came it struck fast. My grandpa was drafted into Vietnam and had battled cancer before but this time he didn't have Joy in his corner and the battle was one sided. In the span of 3 weeks we watched him go from making plans to go to a car show with my dad and I over father's day to being hospitalized, told he was too weak for treatments, being placed in hospice, not waking up, and eventually passing with my dad next to him on father's day. I did my best to be there for my dad and didn't have time to let this affect me so I bottled it and let it out later on my own time. My last conversation with him was a harsh one as he asked me to sell my truck so that I can put it towards buying a house a logical plan as my other truck runs better and is my daily driver however as he painted the truck he asked me to sell it feels like my last momento from him. He died from a combination of cancer and kidney disease at 71.

So all of these loses have affected me in one way or another but the pain doesn't stop it just seems to dull a little each time. I'll continue to pay respect to their memory and part of that is looking after my own well being so I have started making changes to improve my own health emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I've begun going to the gym and cutting alot of fast food and fried food out of my diet. I've been working on letting myself be emotional and identify why I am rather than repressing it and telling myself it's stupid or doesn't matter. I feel like this has pushed me to be better thought this pain. I'm trying to let this drive me.

#long text #real life

0 notes

libraryofrewrita · 7 years ago

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Chapter 19: Rescues and Fireworks

“H-hey guys…”

“Oh! Hi, Lucas!”

The group was surprised at Lucas’s appearence. Sure, they’ve run into each other a lot recently, but this was the first time he had decided to follow them specifically.

“I-is it alright if I hang out with you?”

Nate and Katie were now kinda confused. Sure, they wouldn’t mind Lucas hanging out with them, but why now?

If we say no, he might get suspicious and keep following us, but if we say say yes, how do we explain to Bear and Eddie why he’s with us?

Truthfully, they wouldn’t mind a chance to get to know him better, but they also didn’t know how their friends would react to him tagging along on their adventure.

We can’t really ditch our friends if they’re going to be in a Yo-kai infested area and we can’t risk having Lucas getting inspirited if there’s any Yo-kai roaming around here.

“Alright, Lucas. But stay close to us.”

Lucas nodded and the group walked towards the school.

“Mind telling me why we’re going to the school this late at night?”

“Bear’s idea. He wants to get a better view of the fireworks from the roof.”

“Why is this not an option? It would save on crowded areas near Mount Wildwood and also save people a long trip to Mount Wildwood’s summit.”

Nate and Katie shrugged. Lucas seemed to be a smart kid. Timid, yes, but he does understand why they were doing this. Well, part of it, anyway.

*****

In the shadows of a tree, there was a Yo-kai that was watching the three kids as they went towards the school.

“Rats! They all have the same aura!”

The Yo-kai in question was wearing a pair of glasses with light blue tinted glass that allowed the wearer to see the auras of those with connections to Yo-kai, which he had trouble balancing because he only had one eye. Unfortunately, he didn’t know that the kid he had been stalking for a while was friends with two other kids with the same aura and the four Yo-kai hanging around them didn’t make things easier for him. For all he knew, the kid he was supposed to find was actually either the new boy or girl he had just came across.

Dang it! Now I have to tell my boss that there’s two more kids to worry about!

He sighed as he climbed down the tree, not an easy task when one of your hands was larger than the other and you’re about the size of a human toddler, and made his way back to Nocturne Hospital.

*****

Although they were surprised that Lucas was coming with them, Bear and Eddie didn’t mind him hanging around as the group walked in through the side door.

“Get the keys and we can get going.”

Nate and Katie went to the area where the keys were placed, but pretended to be looking for the right keys as they slipped the keys they had gotten from Mr. Barton into their hands.

“Okay, found the keys, guys! Let’s get going!”

“Wanna play?”

“Can you find your friends?”

The voice had changed into a creepy, sing-song tone, which scared them more.

“We have to find them! Don’t worry, they should be still be in the school!”

They rushed into the hallway and as they made their way to the front enterance, there were stacks of desks preventing them from continuing left. On the other side of the desks was Lucas. He was unconscious, but after shouting to him, he woke up a little confused.

“Nate? Katie? What happened? How did I get over here?”

“We don’t know, Lucas, but Bear and Eddie disappeared too. Can you wait here until we find them?”

Lucas nodded since it was clear that none of them could think of a way to get rid of the desk blockade that didn’t involve it crashing to the floor and the fact that they had to put the desks back into the right positions afterwards.

“Is this the work of that mysterious voice that people have been talking about recently?”

Nate and Katie had a bad feeling that it was and while they didn’t know the voice’s intentions yet, they feared the worse for their other friends.

“Lucas, we’re going to look for the others. If you get bored while waiting for us to come back, see if you can find another way around. Maybe we’ll run into each other or something.”

“Alright, just be careful.”

“You too, Lucas.”

Lucas turned around, probably going to find a way out and the group went back and saw an unactivated Mirapo. After activating Mirapo in case they needed him, Nate, Katie, and the four Yo-kai went up the stairs, which thankfully wasn’t blocked off, only to find that the next stairway was blocked.

“Dang it! Well, we’ll start searching for Bear and Eddie here.”

They walked around the floor they were on until they came across the science room, where Mr. Barton taught during the school year.

“It’s so weird to know that we were taught science by a Yo-kai this whole time.”

“Mr. Barton said so himself. Science wasn’t his first choice, but at least he was helping children grow.”

They walked into the science room and their Yo-kai Watches went off.

“Well, we better see what the issue is.”

They shined the lights from their Yo-kai Watches around the room until the lights hit the class skeleton, revealing…another skeleton. However, this skeleton was clearly a Yo-kai, judging by her yellow and cyan eyes and her fasion sense, which they could only assume was supposed to be gothic. As Whisper looked her up and told the group that she was called Rattelle, she stretched and looked at the group.

“Thank Lord Enma. Some kids that won’t invade my privacy.”

Okay, that means either Bear or Eddie has been here.

“We’re looking for some friends of ours and it sounds like you saw one of them. Do you know where he might be?”

The skeleton pointed her umbrella at a display case next to her and said,

“He’s right here, the scoundrel.”

Purple smoke rose from the case and they saw Bear, frozen in the case.

“Bear! What did he ever do to you?!”

“He stole my rib! That’s what he did to me!”

Rattelle crossed her arms as Whisper counted her ribs.

“One, two…ah, yes. She does appear to be one rib short.”

“The kid looked lost and I was going to point him to safety, but then he stole my rib and said something about going to his homeroom. When he came back to go through the other door, I captured him. I was going to release him after I got my rib back, but I have no clue where he put it.”

Nate and Katie had a good idea about where he might have taken it.

“Do you want us to get your rib back? We think we know where it is.”

“If you do, then please get it and bring it back to me. If you do, I release your friend and unlock the door to the other side.”

The group left the science room and walked down the hallways until they reached Room 5-2.

“This is our homeroom, so he probably stashed it in his desk.”

“Why would he do something like that? Sure, he didn’t know that the skeleton was actually a Yo-kai, but come on! Did he really think no one would notice?!”

“He was always a risk-taker.”

Nate and Katie went to Bear’s desk and found a small, bony, yet pretty rib there.

“Hehe, she has such tiny, little ribs!”

Whisper couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah, but let’s just keep that observation to ourselves, okay?”

Before they left the room, Nate looked around.

“It’s so peaceful here at night. It’s easy to forget that it’s so noisy in here during the school year and summer mornings.”

When we have a free moment, we’ll have to come back here at night. Whether it be us telling our Yo-kai companions our school stories or just random activities, it’ll be a great place to hang out.

Nate chuckled at the thought. He never imagined that he would be looking forward to going to school during the summer and at night.

*****

They came back to the science room and Rattelle was still there, bored out of her mind.

“Please tell me you found my rib. I feel so imcomplete without it!”

“Mind describing it so that we know it’s your’s? Just ribbing you! Here you go!”

Nate handed the rib to Rattelle as it disappeared and they heard a satisifying clicking sound.

“I’m so happy to be complete again that I’m even ignoring that lame pun you made!”

Nate nervously chuckled as his eyes went to Bear, still in the display case.

“So…about releasing our friend…”

“Oh, right!”

Rattelle was about to set him free when she paused and said,

“You know, I get so lonely here at night. Sure, Mr. Barton does keep me company when he can, but I want more than that. At least when school is in session, I feel less lonely because there’s more people around.”

“Do you…want to be friends, Rattelle?”

Rattelle was surprised when she heard Katie ask her that.

“D-do you mean that?”

“Well, you can give us your medal and we can call you if we need help with something.”

Rattelle smiled as she tossed her medal to the group and released Bear as she promised before she disappeared.

“Bear? Are you alright?:

"Guys?! How did you get up here?!”

“We took the stairs. Do you remember how you got up here?”

“Well, I remember hearing that creepy voice I told you guys about and the next thing I know, I’m on the next floor. I wandered around for a little bit until I reached the science room and I found that the door to the other side was locked. I was waiting for someone to show up when I got bored and…wait, did the fireworks start yet?”

“Nope.”

Bear got up and saw to his surprise that the door was now unlocked and as he rushed out of the room, he yelled,

“If you see the others, tell them to meet me on the rooftop!”

*****

They continued their quest to find the others as they found a way to the next floor, hopefully where Eddie was.

“I really hope Bear doesn’t wonder why the rib isn’t in his desk the next time he’s at it.”

“I’m just hoping he wasn’t planning on telling anyone he stole a rib from the skeleton…or Rattelle, in this case.”

“He probably wanted a momento of this occasion.”

Whisper rolled his eyes at Nate’s suggestion.

“Ah, yes. Because a skeleton rib is the perfect momento for a festival.”

They made their way up to the next floor and started looking for either Eddie, a way to get to Lucas, or both.

“I really hope Eddie doesn’t end up like Bear, trapped by a Yo-kai because he did something to make them mad.”

Jibanyan’s ears twitched as he heard the faint plinking of piano keys in the distance.

“Guys? Do you happen to have a pianyo in this place?”

“Yeah, in the music room. Why?”

Jibanyan didn’t say anything as he walked down the hallway. Wanting to keep the number of lost group members to a low number, the group followed Jibanyan. As they followed him, they could now hear piano music playing.

“I-is a Yo-kai playing the piano right now, zura?”

“Either that or Eddie has suddenly taken a liking to playing the piano.”

They entered the music room and saw Cupistol half-heartly pressing piano keys and looking annoyed with each off-key note. They also saw Eddie, who was thankfully not in a display case, but he was inspirited. They walked up to him and shook him.

“Hey, Eddie. Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine. For some reason, I found myself on this floor and as I was trying to find a way out, I heard piano music coming from this room.”

His face showed annoyance as he continued.

“I’m pretty sure there’s a machine of some sort in the piano that’s making it play by itself, but there’s no way it should be this bad.”

“Everyone’s a critic.”

Cuspistol had stopped playing the piano after saying that statement.

“I’m starting to regret inspiriting him so that I could pretend to preform for an audience of adoring fans, but now I’m stuck with a kid that doesn’t even know I exist and hates my music.”

He faceplanted on the piano keys, which made a terrible noise. After they all recovered from the sudden noise, Whisper asked,

“Can you uninspirit him?”

Cuspitol sighed.

“I would, but it won’t wear off until he compliments my music and for some reason, the other door is locked when it’s usually unlocked. I figured that playing the right music would get the door unlocked, but after going through all of the sheet music in here, nothing has worked. I hate to be a bother, but can you guys get me some new sheet music? Anything to get this critic off my case and hopefully unlock the door.”

Cupistol went back to playing off-key, although the group wasn’t sure if he was now doing that on purpose or not. They left Eddie, knowing that he wasn’t likely to go anywhere right now and went into multiple rooms on their current floor, hoping to find a stray music sheet, until they reached the library.

“This is hopeless! We’re never getting them out of here!”

“Nate, try to calm down. This is why you two went along with them, so that you could get them out of any Yo-kai hi-jinx that occurs tonight.”

“Yeah, but Lucas had nothing to do with this and he’s stuck too!”

“Technically, Lucas wasn’t inspirited when we saw him. There’s a good chance he’s still okay and waiting for us. Let’s just find a music sheet and get Eddie to the roof so that we can focus on getting Lucas out of here.”

They found a loose piece of paper jammed between some books and after retrieving it, they saw that it was a music sheet.

“Yes!”

*****

They gave the music sheet to Cupistol. He set it up, read the paper, and started to play the best music they had heard all night. When he finished, they all started clapping, even Eddie, who was now uninspirited.

“Wow! That was actually pretty good! I guess the machine fixed itself or something.”

Eddie went to the other door, which was unlocked, and left the room. The other hung around to talk to Cupistol.

“That was really great, Cupistol! Do you want to be friends?”

Cupistol seemed surprised, but he smiled as he handed his medal over to them.

“A token of our friendship. I apologize, but I must continue practicing. However, if you should call me into battle, I’ll be able to charm any one Yo-kai into joining you…most of the time. I’m still working on my ability. I know there are other Yo-kai with the same ability, but I try really hard!”

Cupistol bowed as he happily continued to play the piano and the group took that as their cue to leave. They met up with Eddie in the hallway.

“Hey, guys? Where’s Bear and Lucas?”

“Bear is heading to the rooftop and we’re still looking for Lucas.”

“Oh. Well, I’ll meet you guys on the rooftop. Good luck!”

Eddie went to find a way up while the others looked for a way down to the first floor to get Lucas.

*****

After a very annoying search, they managed to make their way down to the first floor, on the side Lucas was on.

“Lucas! We came to get you!”

They were unnerved by the silence as they exited the stairwell and found that Lucas was nowhere to be seen.

“We would’ve run into him if he came up the stairwell and there really isn’t that much down here…”

They saw an Eyepo where they had last seen Lucas and they realized that a huge battle had to be coming up.

“Okay, guys. There’s a good chance that we might have to battle. Do we have everything we need, just in case? Food? Medicine?”

“Yes and Yes.”

They exahled slowly as Nate peeked into the boy’s bathroom, hoping that they were wrong about battling. To his relief, he saw Lucas, but then the relief vanished when he realized that he had been inspirited. What really surprised Nate though was the fact that Lucas was struggling, like he knew what was happening to him and wanted it to stop.

“Lucas!”

Lucas turned to Nate, relief on his face as he attempted to walk to him.

“Nate! Thank goodness you’re here!”

Suddenly, Lucas has more purple smoke surround him and he disappeared. Nate looked up at the ceiling and saw the largest spider he had ever seen.

“Wanna play?”

The spider had the same chilling voice as the one they had heard earlier and it dawned on Nate that this spider had to be the reason for their separation.

“Whisper? Who is that?”

Nate and Katie entered the spider’s lair, both knowing that under normal circumstances, both of them being here would be considered weird, but there were always exceptions. Fighting a giant Yo-kai spider that kidnapped their friends is one of those exceptions.

“Whisper?”

Whisper had been trying to find the Yo-kai they were facing, only for his face to become even paler, if that was even possible.

“Guys…I can’t find any information on him.”

Fear filled the room. If Whisper couldn’t find the information, then they had to rely on instinct, hope, and observation to get through the battle.

*****

Frostina, Tattletale, and Blandon were the attacking party this time so that they could see the new Soultimate moves of both Blandon and Frostina and so they could have a chance to battle. They all looked at the spider on the ceiling that was mocking them with a smirk.

“Maybe we should knock him off the ceiling and wipe that smug smirk off his face.”

“Okay, then. Start attacking the feet and see if we can make him get fall damage or something.”

They decided to see how Frostina was at battling as she sent an icicle towards one of the spider’s feet. He flinched and shook that one foot before spewing out a ball of posion towards Frostina as revenge. She jumped out of the way in time, landing into Nate’s arms as he helped her back up.

“You okay, Frostina?”

She nodded as the attacking party continued to fight the spider until he fell to the ground, exposing his underside. They quickly had the attacking party use their Soultimates and switched the parties from Frostina, Blandon, and Tattletell to Jibanyan and the Koma Bros so that they could get a few hits in. Unfortunately, the spider Yo-kai managed to get back up to the ceiling and they had to defeat him if they wanted Lucas back.

“It’s nyot a problem, you guys! We can get him down and make things right, nya!”

After sending fireballs and balls of lightning towards the spider’s feet, he fell to the ground again and they unleashed their Soultimate Moves on him until he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

****

After they collected the fallen items and money as their reward, they found Lucas back where he was before he had disappeared.

“Guys?”

“Lucas? Are you okay?”

He nodded and they left the bathroom.

“When you guys left, I was about to look for a way up to the roof when I heard a voice calling me into the bathroom. I tried to ignore it, but it was like my body had a mind if it’s own. I only regained control for a moment when I saw you, Nate, but I don’t exactly remember what happened after that. All I can remember is a different voice saying that my friends would help me.”

Lucas smiled.

“Looks like that voice was right. I’ll meet you guys on the roof.”

He waved as he went up the stairs. When he was out of sight, Mr. Barton appeared in his Yo-kai form.

“So you dealt with the Yo-kai?”

They nodded and explained what had happened that night.

“No information, you say? Not even a name or location of origin?”

Whisper shook his head. He had double-checked, but still couldn’t find anything on the Yo-kai they had just fought.

“Well, for the time being, we’ll call the Yo-kai you just fought Tarantutor.”

Mr. Barton had written the information they had managed to collect from the battle down and said that he would try to see if more information could be found about Tarantutor.

“Thank you for helping me, you two.”

He left the area and the group went up to the roof, although something was on Whisper’s mind.

If I couldn’t find any information on this Yo-kai, things can’t be good. Along with everything else that’s happened, there has to be something big going on and we’re going to be caught in the middle of it, whether we like it or not.

*****

The group had made their way to the roof and Nate and Katie waved to their friends, safe and sound. They all sat on the bench on the rooftop and they all grabbed a ramune soda to drink as the fireworks started. The Yo-kai had their own ramune soda, Nate and Katie giving it to them before they went onto the roof, and they were drinking it along with the humans. Nate glanced at Katie’s strawberry flavored ramune soda and looked at his blueberry flavored ramune soda.

“I’ve never had strawberry ramune soda before. Any chance I can have a taste, Katie?”

“Depends. Can I have a taste of your blueberry ramune soda?”

Nate nodded and was about to give Katie his ramune soda bottle when he felt Katie kiss him. His eyes widened as he tasted the strawberry ramune soda on her lips mixing with his blueberry ramune soda, then he closed his eyes as he returned the kiss. They pulled away a moment later, only to notice their friends staring at them.

“I knew it. You two are a cute couple!”

Lucas was smiling and while Bear and Eddie were happy for them, they were still surprised.

“Well, that was unexpected, zura.”

Jibanyan nodded at the Koma Brothers’s words, being both surprised and envious of the two humans. He jumped when he felt Whisper tap his shoulder and turned to him?

“Nyeah?”

“Remember what you asked me earlier? About how I would react to you kissing me?”

Jibanyan blushed as he nodded. He didn’t expect to feel Whisper kiss him.

W-we’re kissing…Whisper and I are…

Jibanyan felt his tails wrap around Whisper’s arm and he almost didn’t notice him pull away or that his friends were staring at them with expressions that clearly read,

“About time you two got together.”

Whisper held Jibanyan’s hand as the fireworks kept lighting up the sky.

*****

Venoct watched the group happily laughing as the fireworks continued to light up the sky.

I made the right decision by trusting them. They will help us when the time comes.

*****

As the fireworks slowed to a stop, they all left the rooftop to make it down before anyone noticed that they had sneaked into the school. When they exited the school, they all parted ways and Nate and Katie went back to their homes for the night.

*****

“I’m home!”

Nate and Katie got into their pajamas and after filling out their books, they laid in bed and fell asleep. That night, Nate, Katie, Whisper, and Jibanyan all dreamed of their first kiss on the rooftop during the festival’s fireworks.

Previous Chapter: https://libraryofrewrita.tumblr.com/post/166568610209/chapter-18-the-festival-and-the-extreme-dare Next Chapter: https://libraryofrewrita.tumblr.com/post/167093753374/chapter-20-preparing-for-nocturne-hospital

#yo-kai watch #yo-kai watch au #rewrite #au #chapter 19

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theleap1-blog · 7 years ago

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I wish I had known this before I started my Gap Year

I wish I hadknown these tips before I started my Gap Year

Dreaming of hitting the open road? You are not alone For most, the thought of travelling is extremely exciting, however it can also be quite daunting. And for lots of gap year backpackers, it may be the first time properly leaving the security of home.

So, in order to make sure you get the most out of your trip of a lifetime (and gap year as a whole), here is a list of I wish I had advice from the more experienced travellers out there happy travelling everyone

I wish I hadearned more money

We know travelling isn't exactly the cheapest activity on the planet. Working hard to fund your dream trip is essential. Why not squeeze in the extra shift now, when you can, meaning that you can really make the most out of your trip and can do all the activities that take your fancy when you are away. Avoid having to utter the words would love to do it, but can't afford it.

I wish I had left it behind

I'm not exactly the lightest packer so I understand the struggles of having to pack 'only the essentials' Just remember, the heavier you pack, the more uncomfortable carrying your bag around will be Therefore be smart about what you decide to take with you @lavandula said Some trips I have taken a travel knife-fork-and-spoon set and never used them, and regretted immensely taking them

Check out Lonely Planet's top packing tips

I wish I hadbrought it with me

However, there are some essentials that many have recommended bringing and are not necessarily obvious @Iowa_Redhead said, I always take a small chunk of cardboard (about 5 long and barely wider than the tape) and wrap duct tape many times around that. It doesn't take up near the space or weight that the entire roll would but it's come in handy on pretty much every trip. Many people roll tape around a pencil but that makes for a pretty fat little roll. My way keeps it flat and easy to stash in the day bag.

Others include:

o Blister plasters o A pen o Earplugs o Washing line

Check out this list of things to remember when packing for your travels

I wish I hadexplored more

Instead of just soaking up the sun on an exotic beach (as relaxing as that sounds) why not take the opportunity to fully explore each place you visit. Go to the markets, speak to the locals, ask what the highlights are (in the best way you can considering your language skills may not be equipped for the challenge!).

I wish I hadchallenged myself

youtube

Whether you're an adrenaline junky or not, step out of your comfort zone and do something you would never normally do like bungee jumping, or white water rafting, or trekking up the big mountain Just don't come home wishing 'wish i had done that?'. You want to be able to tell yourself that you samashed boundaries and did something you never thought you could/would do even if you would never do it again at least you can tick the box.

A real thrill lover?

I wish I hadwritten it down

Keeping a diary isn't exactly every 18yr old's idea of fun, but is probably the most important on this list. When travelling you will experience so many new things whether it be places, foods, sites, or stories. Just jotting down some of the most memorable experiences is such a good idea to help jog the memory in the years to come.

I wish I had bought that momento

I have an unlimited budgetsaid no one on their gap yearever. Even though budgets are tight, especially during your travels, remember not to be too strict on yourself. Spend that little bit extra on the exotic memento you love chances are, you won't find it anywhere else, and you don't want to come home with nothing to show for your travels.

I wish I had been more than a tourist

There are so many great gap year companies out there that can help you get off the backpacker trail, allowing you to meet the local communities on another level. Best ways to do this are by volunteering, teaching, or conservation. Make sure you do enough research so you know what's in store. Each company will offer you something different and it's important to read the small print look beyond the pretty pictures and price tag.

Start exploring volunteering options.

Find out More

I wish I hadgone the extra mile

So close, yet so farwe have all been here, for example if you are in Australia and have always wanted to visit Bali, do it you will not go back to that part of the world anytime soon. Take the extra flight, go the extra mile, you won't regret it.

I wish I hadtaken a gap year

Taking a gap year is the perfect time to get out of your comfort zone and broaden your horizons and no matter where you travel, this list is here to help you maximize your journey, and save you from an I wish moment.

Before you venture off it might be useful finding out what type of traveller you are! Find out by filling in our Traveller Quiz.

What Type of Traveller Am I?

The post I wish I had known this before I started my Gap Year appeared first on .

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thehandmaidtale · 8 years ago

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Sections IV, V

Woah, I didn’t see you there.

Now that you’ve joined me, we can get a better insight into Offred’s life and how the government limits their women like horses in order to keep them on track.

Summaries

Section IV- Waiting Room (Chapters 8-12)

Present: On their way back from shopping, Offred and Ofglen look at the bodies hung on the Wall. There are two notable ones: two Guardians with cards around their neck that read “Gender Treachery” meaning homosexuality. When Offred is about to go home, Ofglen hesitated with their saying of good-bye as if she wishes to say something more.

As Offred is passing through the yard, she sees Nick, a Guardian that works in the household. Nick greets her and asks how her walk went, an illegal act. Offred sees Serena Joy in the garden, and remembers when the Commander’s Wife used to be a singer. When she retired, she became an advocate for women staying at home. Offred wonders if now Serena is angry because she now has to practice what she preached long ago.

When Offred reaches her room, she sees the Commander lingering in its doorway. When he sees her, he nods at her and leaves.

On another day, Offred visits the doctor for a mandatory routine checkup. He doctor offers to impregnate Offred, saying that many Commanders are too old or sterile and cannot produce children. The idea of men being sterile has been outlawed in Gilead. Offred thinks the offer is too dangerous. The consequences of being caught were too much to risk. Even beyond that, Offred realizes she is more afraid of being given the choice of a way out.

At home, he then eats her dinner, stealing a small piece of butter for later.

Past: Offred remembers when her and her husband Luke started dating. Luke was married, so they would rent hotels and meet up.

She also remembers when she first moved into this Commander’s house and found a scribble of writing at the bottom of her closet that read “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum”. Although Offred does not know Latin, she is glad to have a means of communication with the woman before her. She wonders what happened to her.

When thinking about how hot the weather was getting, Offred is reminded of Aunt Lydia who told the girls of how women used to sunbathe with only bikinis on. Offred remembers a time where she did the same but now finds her own body being foreign to her. Now, she considers her body as just a uterus.

Later, during a bath, she remembers when her daughter was taken from her by the government three years ago. In regards to not having any momento of her daughter, she remembers Aunt Lydia saying that the Handmaid’s needed to do without belongings because the meek are blessed. Offred realizes that the quoting of the Bible is off: Aunty Lydia didn’t say the important part of the phrase which was that the meek shall inherit the earth.

Section V- Nap (Chapter 13)

Past: Bored in her room, Offred remembers when Moira came to the Red Centre. Her and Moira secretly met up in one of the bathroom stalls and would not talk otherwise or else it would raise suspicion. Later, both girls participate in the “Testify” where they need to confess the wrongs they did in their past. Janine talks of a time where she was gang-raped when she was fourteen, and the rest of the women chant that it is her fault that it happened. Offred remembers believing her words.

Offred also remembers running away with her daughter, who was slowing her down. The authorities heard them, as her daughter kept crying, and dragged her daughter away from her.

Analysis

Characters:

Offred continues to show signs of a person being held captive. She wants and desires freedom, but freedom to her has become foreign. Human nature calls for us to find stability in what is familiar, and to Offred her life as a Handmaid has now become ordinary as Aunt Lydia said it would. A prime example of this is in the doctor’s visit. Offred is given a chance to escape; the doctor offers to impregnate her. Rather than the fear of breaking the rules preventing her from taking up the offer, Offred fears the instability it might cause in her life. “It’s the choice that terrifies me,” she says. “A way out, a salvation.” To her, the easiest and most beneficial way to live is to follow Gilead’s rules.

Despite this, she has continuous flashbacks from her life years ago that contradict her current ideology. She remembers going to the beach in a swimsuit, her skin exposed, and recalls the memory with distaste. She also remembers reading and writing and talking to Luke about words. When Offred finds the phrase “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum” scribbled a the bottom of her closet in her room. She repeats the words over and over in her mind, a small act of defiance as women are no longer allowed to read or write. Offred is only able to resist Gilead’s laws subconsciously rather than actively.

Another character we learn more about is the Commander’s Wife, who Offred recognized to be Serena Joy, in the earlier chapters. Offred recalls seeing Serena on television, advocating against women’s rights and campaigning for women to stay at home. Now that Serena is no longer a singer and is fulfilling the role of the wife that she told all women to fulfill, she faces the consequences of the lack of rights.

Plot:

From the actions of the doctor, it becomes apparent that Gilead is facing a lack of fertility in both males and females. However, this lack of fertility is blamed solely on the women as it is outlawed to call men infertile. This is perhaps related to practicing of religion within Gilead. Aunt Lydia tells the girls to live meek lives, quoting it from the Bible. She leaves out the portion that says those who live meek lives also gain rewards of the Earth from it. Gilead is using censorship in order to make its citizens behave.

In Offred memories, Moira, her college friend, joins her in the Red Centre. Both girls attempt to speak to each other and comment on how bizarre the experience is. Offred also continues to think of her daughter and how old she must be now, if she were alive. This suggests we will learn more about the transition from the old society to this new one as Offred recalls more memories.

Themes/ Messages:

Government censorship: Gilead prevents its women from reading in order to prevent forms of independent thought. This reinforces the power of the media, specifically in the form of empowerment. To be able to read and write is power because it’s a chance to speak of ideas. Gilead doesn’t want women to voice their ideas. Oddly enough, I’m reminded of Saudia Arabia. Women aren’t allowed to drive there, and the government uses religious scriptures to back it up even though the Quran doesn’t say anything about driving. In fact, it’s outrageous to think a book written over a thousand years ago can dictate the modern use of cars when they didn’t even exist in that era. Saudia Arabia uses the lack of transportation to cripple women’s ability to be physically independent of the males in their life who drive them around, just as Gilead prevents its women from reading to prevent them from being mentally independent of the the male-centric ideas delivered to them.

The church and the state: The Bible is used as a mechanism to brainwash the girls, but only in an unrepresentative form. Since the church ceases to exist as an independent body, all religious texts are subject to the government to change at will. Again, Saudia Arabia misuses religious text to make points to support their own twisted ideologies. I think I’m onto something here: SAUDIA ARABIA IS GILEAD.

Women’s role in society: A woman’s worth in Gilead comes from her body. At the same time, while she guards and keeps her body healthy, the conditions that the body is subjected to are determined primarily by men. This is not so far off from what we are seeing in North America and all across the world today. If a woman cannot have children- she is barren- then she loses her worth. If a woman can have children, she is subject to the conditions laid out for her. It’s a lose-lose situation.

The male-centric world of Gilead is still majorly a mystery to us. Join me next time to find out more about this crazy place!

#the handmaid's tale #chapter summary

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