#again I'm having a galaxy brain moment over here

[jonathanbyersphd]

The Barnes & Noble version of the album also has a Jancy song called "Boy Behind the Camera"!

"Wherever we go, we're going to go together"

I AM UNWELL

[bananayuyu]

Cabin Fever [part 4]

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: fluff and smut

Word count: 9.9k

Summary: Sometimes actions have consequences for your fragile body, your morning getting off to a sore start. The day thankfully offers you a calm morning, a long-overdue conversation, and a desperate Wooyoung bringing laughter to everyone, in his own special way.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, fingering, voyeurism

A/n: Apologies for how long it took me to post this chapter, I kept editing and rewriting different sections of it because I wanted it to be perfect. I realized recently how much this series means to me, I think because of how much I relate to the main character, and the kind response I've gotten from all of you <3 I'm so glad to be finally posting, and will definitely continue to write the other parts I've planned. I really hope you all enjoy!

Linked here is my masterlist where you can find the previous parts. Again let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist! (it will be six parts in total if everything goes to plan)

Taglist: @certifiedmoa @pautiny27 @luvbit3z @dawn-iscozy @artistic-rendition

@yeosangiess @drinkingrumandcocacola @smally97 @kierraperkins3 @newworldwritings

@peachyy-jooniee @lucid-galaxys-world @arigakittyo @staytinyroha @yoonjikim

You wake in a blurry haze, the early morning light shining gently in through the window. You wonder for a moment if another storm rolled in last night, if the light is so soft because the sky is blanketed in clouds. A quick glance at your phone tells you it's just the light of dawn, the sun not risen enough yet to fully brighten the room. You groan internally, wishing your body let you sleep in after the crazy day you'd just had. You lay awake for a while, eyes still closed, as you hear Yunho's steady deep breaths of sleep. You try to let your mind rest more, but soon you can tell there's no point, your brain desperately chewing through every intense conversation you'd had the day before. As quietly as you can you sit up and scoot yourself off the bed, rubbing your eyes as you walk yourself to the bathroom.

Immediately upon standing you notice the feeling, a slight soreness deep in your core. It almost doesn't feel bad, at least initially, and it makes you giggle to yourself, remembering your previous night. You hadn't expected Yunho to fuck you so hard, and truthfully you loved it. Miraculously your body had been able to take it, maybe even needed it because of the emotionally exhausting day. But you also knew you might pay a bit of a price for it now. You'd certainly joked with people like Ari, or Wooyoung, about being fucked so hard you could still feel it the next morning. And in theory it sounded like the best case scenario, like something everyone would want. But now that you were here it also felt a little concerning, that your muscles were that sore.

You were quiet in the bathroom as well, not wanting to wake anyone in the living room. You carefully clean your thighs, wiping a damp towel over them, and gently brushing it past your core to clean yourself there as well. Immediately the contact feels a bit painful and you wince, frustration bubbling in you as you breathe deeply, taking a moment to let the pain subside. No matter how many times you try to pretend it isn't true, your body always has a way of reminding you how fragile and delicate it is. With a sigh you finish up, tossing the towel in the hamper, then washing your hands. Making your way back to the library, you open and close the door as carefully as possible, gently settling yourself down on the pull out couch that hadn't been used now in days.

You hadn't had a chance the whole trip to crack open your book, and with the chaos of the previous day some calm, focused reading sounds oh so perfect. You grab it out of your bag and begin reading, the sun slowly brightening as the day starts to bloom. Yunho is still sound asleep, his breaths so gentle you almost forget he is there. Eventually your stomach grumbles and you head out to the kitchen, being met with Seonghwa and Hongjoong sipping their first coffees of the day.

If you're entirely honest, it feels a little uncomfortable seeing them, especially Hongjoong. Though you tried the previous night to just move on, to forget what happened, the tension still lingers, especially now that you know so much of why Hongjoong acted the way he did. You aren't sure if he's told Seonghwa anything yet, and you don't want to say anything that could make things awkward between them, so you decide you'll take your breakfast and head outside, hopefully getting to spend a little more peaceful time by yourself. With a quick hug to both of them you head out to the fire pit, your tea in one hand, breakfast in the other, and book tucked precariously under your arm.

It's refreshing sitting outside by yourself, under the shade of the forest trees, your book the only company you have. You normally spend a lot of time alone, so sometimes on these trips you get a bit overwhelmed by everyone. As the sun begins moving across the sky the day gets warmer, Yunho's hoodie now feeling a bit too heavy. You realize you've been wearing it for days now, and probably should change into something else. But you kick that thought aside, relishing the feeling of being in it. You don't entirely understand your own feelings yet, but something about wearing his clothes feels perfectly right.

"Hey, nerd," you hear Yunho say, lifting your head up to see him walking over towards you, his own breakfast in hand.

"Hi," you respond, smiling at him, but returning to your book. You were just nearing the end of a chapter, and you really wanted to finish it.

"You'd rather read then talk to me?" he jokes, plopping down in a chair next to you.

"Just give me like two minutes," you say, eyes still not leaving the page. Yunho just nods and starts wolfing down his breakfast, glancing over at you occasionally to see if you're really that focused. Apparently, you are, which is something he loves so much. As much as he jokes with you, he finds it precious how lost you get in the things you read.

"Ok, we can talk now," you say brightly, sliding your bookmark into the page you just finished. It makes Yunho chuckle, his eyes bright with adoration.

"I wanted to ask you a question," he says, quickly taking another bite.

"Okay," you respond, not sure where he is headed.

"I wanted to see if you felt okay with everything that's been going on, you know, between us. Make sure I haven't crossed any lines," he says.

"Not at all," you say, looking back at him. You seem reluctant to talk much this morning, which isn't like you, and Yunho feels a bit concerned. But he really wants to know where your head is at; he just honestly didn't think he'd be the one to have to bring this up. You were the one who was so good at talking about your feelings, but you hadn't said anything specific about it yet. Well, maybe you did that night you both said 'I love you,' but nothing had been said since.

"So how are you feeling?" he asks.

"Well my vagina hurts, but otherwise pretty good," you laugh, adjusting yourself in your seat to try to alleviate the soreness.

"It hurts?" he asks, with genuine concern.

"Like it's sore, you know, from last night's activities," you say, cringing at yourself. You didn't feel like you couldn't say 'it's sore from you fucking me so hard,' but some part of you wishes you did.

"In a good way? Or bad way?" he asks.

"Um, kind of both?" you respond, not really sure yourself. "I don't hate it but it's, well, worse than ideal. I have to be careful when I sit," you say, trying to keep yourself from laughing again.

"What's so funny?" he asks you, thankful to see you laughing and not grimacing in pain.

"I just never imagined actually having this conversation with somebody," you say, smiling. You appreciate when ridiculous moments happen, and remind you that life doesn't have to be so serious all the time.

"Was I too rough?" he asks, making you giggle again.

"No, I liked it," you say. "I mean, I guess maybe, I just... I haven't really had this happen before," you say, still laughing. "It's probably cause your dick is, um, so big." You turn to see Yunho fighting to keep a smile off his face at your comment, his head turning away from you for a moment.

"Was it just too hard? Or too long?" he asks, making you burst into laughter harder. "I mean, how I fucked you y/n, not my di- ugh," Yunho covers his face, his cheeks reddening some.

"You're being so funny right now," you say. You can't help but find it terribly adorable how awkward he can sometimes be.

"I'm trying to be serious," he says, fixing you momentarily with a stern grimace, which only makes you both laugh harder. After a few moments you both calm down, making eye contact again.

"For real though, I don't want to hurt you. Was I too rough?" he repeats, truly wanting an answer.

"No, you really weren't. I liked it, I liked it a lot. It felt really good. Sometimes, with the way my body is, I have to sacrifice the future days of pain for doing something I really want to do. Sometimes I feel it's worth it. If I spent my life trying to prevent myself from ever feeling pain, I'd never get to do certain things. And obviously I have to be careful how often I do things like that, because usually it means I have to recover for a day or two, or even longer. But I can do it occasionally. I can deal with pain, extremely well," you finish, emphasizing the last two words.

"But I don't want sex with me to cause you pain," he says, eyeing you. "Is that really worth it to you? Aren't there things we could do that wouldn't hurt you?" he asks.

"Well, honestly part of the problem last night was probably that I just like, put your dick inside me without any warm up. Which was on me, I take full responsibility. But like, if you finger me first, it helps the muscles relax. Just doing that probably would have prevented most of this pain," you say.

"Thank you for telling me that," he says, his mind intently focused on every words coming from your lips.

"I liked what happened though, it was very..." you trail off.

"Feral?" he asks, making you laugh yet again. You put your face in your hands remembering everything, especially the way he grabbed you and flipped you over, and the sounds he made in your ear when he finally came.

"Yeah, I liked that," you giggle, face still hidden. You sigh into yourself, basking in the feeling of this conversation. You never thought you'd be having it with Yunho, and you realize that despite everything you couldn't be more comfortable. He knew you so well, and explaining all of this to someone who didn't know you at all would have been ten times more complicated.

"Y/n, I have to tell you something," he suddenly says, his tone completely different. You quickly put your hands down, turning your body in your chair to face him, as he sets his plate down on the ground, turning to face you as well.

"What is it?" you ask, trying to keep yourself from tensing up.

"I- I don't really know how to say this, I'm sorry if I start rambling. I just, I just need to say this, even though I think you already know, but in case it isn't clear. I-" he takes in a shaky breath, quickly letting it out. "I love you, obviously, I have for many years. But I'm also in love with you, and I don't know if you realized that. That's why certain things just keep coming out of my mouth, when we're having sex, and I'm sorry if it's weird. It doesn't seem to bother you but, I know we hadn't talked about it. I like calling you baby, it feels right, but if you want me to stop, or you want any of this thing, between us, to stop, you just say the word. I don't want anything that I ever do, or say, to make your life worse. You already deal with so much shit all of the time, and it would be my worst nightmare to know that I'm adding to that." Out of nowhere you feel a tear hit your cheek, quickly followed by one hitting your bare thigh. Yunho is staring at the ground between you, not able to stomach seeing your reactions in real time. "Above all I love you, and I want you to be happy, and even if tomorrow you tell me you never want to sleep with me ever again, I'd still love you, I'd still want to live with you and be your friend. I'm serious, I mean that. I would not hold it against you, I would not make things awkward. I don't feel like you owe me anything, at all. But you should also know if you want me to be more than a friend to you, I would gladly oblige. I know I should have probably told you this before we started having sex, but..." finally he trails off, looking up at you.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he says seeing your tears, thinking he's upset you.

"No, don't apologize," you squeak out, trying to get ahold of your breathing.

"What's wrong?" he asks, coming to kneel next to you, taking your hands in his.

"I- I don't know," you croak, tears still streaming down your cheeks. You truly don't know why you suddenly burst into tears, after having such a calm morning. What Yunho said was sweet, unbelievably so. Your head spins, all the conversations from yesterday again playing through your head, like twenty radios going at the same time. It's incredibly overwhelming when your brain does this, and you grab your ears momentarily to try to make it stop. Yunho wipes the tears from your cheeks, sitting patiently as you calm yourself, as you finally wipe what you think are the last of the tears with the sleeves of his hoodie.

And when you finally look up you're met with big brown eyes that feel like they're looking into the depths of your soul, making your heart ache with a feeling so intense you can't name it. Suddenly the world slows, everything stops. It's just him and you, in this vast forest, and everything feels alright, like it's meant to be. Suddenly you're not feeling your sticky sweaty skin under the hoodie, or the ache in your core. You can't feel any of it when sat in front of you is your favorite person in the entire world. It hits you like a train, that realization. You'd never get over how kind he was to spend nights in the hospital with you, when you were so out of it you hardly remembered a thing. You could have said anything; you knew you acted strange when you were there. But still he was there for you, still he treated you the same. This beautiful, tall, talented man who could have been doing anything he wanted with his life. You could imagine doing everything with him, imagine living with him forever. You couldn't trust him more or respect him more if you tried. You realized the myriad dialogues playing out in your head had gone away, left with only one; a part of you, screaming at the top of her little lungs, 'how did it take you this long to realize?!'

"I'm-I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner," you stutter, leaning down to hug him, to hold him tight. You have so much you want to say to him, but it's hard to get words out with how overwhelmed you feel.

"Shh, it's okay," Yunho comforts you, holding your head in the crook of his neck.

"I love you too," you say, struggling to find the right words. "I mean, more than platonically, I love you. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize it."

"I thought, maybe, that was the case," he says, chuckling into your hair.

"So even you figured that out before I did?" you ask, huffing out a laugh.

"What do you mean, even me?" he responds. You sit up to look at him again, putting your hands on his shoulders.

"Literally all of our friends knew we liked each other before I did," you say, like it's groundbreaking news.

"Does that surprise you?" he asks, incredulous.

"Well, yeah," you respond.

"They always do that though, don't they? I mean we all knew Hongjoong and Seonghwa liked each other since forever ago, it was just a thing. Sometimes I feel like they know me better than I know myself." You nod in response. It was definitely true with your friend group, time and time again.

"But Yunho, if you thought I liked you why didn't you ask me about it earlier?" you ask.

"I didn't want to put you in an awkward spot," he says, stroking his hand comfortingly down your arm.

"But, wait, how long have you suspected I like you?" you ask.

"Um, a while," he says, trying to think. "I don't remember exactly, but probably the last year or so."

"Year??" you ask, genuinely shocked. "How- what made you think that?"

"The way you are with me, when you're sick. I don't think you realize the things you say..." he trails off, grabbing your hands in his again.

"Oh god, what have I said to you?" you groan, trying to look away.

"It's nothing embarrassing, I swear. You just become so clingy with me, in a different way than you are with Seonghwa. Like, in a literal sense, not wanting me to let you go. You've asked me to sleep in your hospital bed before, and nurses have to kindly ask me to move so I'm not in the way. You will sometimes cry about how worried you are that I'll leave you, in a way that made it feel like we were already together. One time you said you were scared I'd stop loving you because of how sick you were. You'll profess your love for me, beg me to stay with you forever. Things like that."

"That sounds intense," you say, imagining it from his perspective. You shudder at the thought, a part of you feeling sick at how overwhelming it must be to care for someone like you.

"Well, yeah," he responds.

"I'm sor-"

"No. Don't do that." He grabs you tightly again, wrapping you in his arms. "I'm grateful for it all. I'm just so glad we finally talked about this. I'll always love you, no matter what happens. I want you to always remember that."

You nod into his shoulder, squeezing him tightly, just as you hear some foot steps approaching.

"Hi guys, I'm sorry to interrupt," Ari starts, speaking gently. You both break apart to give her your attention. "Can I borrow a pad, or a tampon or something?" she asks you, fidgeting. "I don't know why, but my period started today when it wasn't supposed to till like, next Tuesday."

"Oh my god, of course," you say immediately. "They should just be in my bag, easy to find. Feel free to grab whatever you need. Oh and my Tylenol, it might be in the bathroom if it's not in my bag."

"Thank you so much, you're a life saver," she says over her shoulder as she heads back in quickly, nearly breaking into a run. This cabin is messing with our hormones, you think. At first the thought amuses you, but then it feels scary too. Because what if everything that had happened between you and Yunho here, wouldn't feel the same back home? What if your feelings would change? It had taken the chaotic events of this trip to bring them to the surface, and would the monotony and business of real life bury them again?

There's also the possibility that it was inevitable, that all along this was going to happen. It certainly seems that everyone else thinks that, and that offers you some reassurance. But you can't help your own doubts, and your intense fear of what this means. It's all finally in the open, your feelings at least. But will you actually date? There is so much to discuss, and although he knows a lot, Yunho doesn't know the full of extent of your health issues. How much it can affect you, randomly for weeks or even months, how your sex drive changes, your moods change, your likes and dislikes even, if complicated medical issues are happening. You know you're bound to be pissed at him, to not want his attentions sometimes. You know he's bound to be way busier than you; which could be a good thing, you remind yourself. But if spending less time together feels almost relieving in a way, then is dating really the right thing to do? Maybe relationships with other people in general aren't really something you're built for. It's not like you've made many friends since high school, and the ones you have are almost exclusively online. You feel your soreness again, like a stabbing reminder of how messed up your body is.

"What are you thinking about?" Yunho asks you, cutting off your train of thought. It takes you a few moments, but you manage to collect your thoughts.

"Do do you realize how sick I am?" you ask, your voice small.

"What do you mean?" The look he gives you is one of genuine care. It makes your heart flutter.

"I- just- I don't know what this is going to be going forward, but like, I can't date someone in the normal way. No, that's not a good way of putting it," you sigh into your hands. Gathering yourself you start again. "Dating me isn't even like dating someone with a diagnosed disease or disability. My health issues are ever changing, and none of them have been truly figured out. Obviously I've fainted since I was young, but sometimes I go through periods where I barely do at all, and then other times it's super frequent. Sometimes I randomly develop an allergy to a new food, and I have to basically obsessively read through every item I buy at the grocery store to make sure I'm not accidentally injesting it. There was a time, three years ago, when I had no desire for anything sexual for like, half a year. My periods were so bad, and everything down there just always felt weird and it hurt, and I literally thought I might never feel horny ever again. These things just, happen, and there's no way for me to predict them. And it would mean that, being with me, would be different," you finish, with a huge sigh.

"I know all of that already," Yunho says, sighing himself.

"But, so- what do you want to happen?" you ask, finally getting to crux of what you wanted to know.

"Whatever you want," he says.

"That's not true, that can't be," you say, feeling dubious. "There must be something specific that you want."

"I want to date you," he says. "But I knew you might not want that, because of everything you have going on. So whatever you're willing to do, I'm in."

"Yunho," you sigh, frustrated. Frustrated because those words feel too good to be true, and as much as you trust him in so many ways, a part of you still wants to run away in doubt. It's a huge deal, trusting someone with this part of you, and it's just hit you now that you've been sleeping with him, in more ways than one, and you haven't batted an eye. If he ever did something, in any scenario but especially a sexual one, that hurt you, it would be so hard to recover. Things had happened in the past to make you understand that. You were so determined to never let those things happen again, that you'd basically stopped dating or even thinking about it. You could physically please yourself, and have your friendships to give you companionship. You'd never felt very centered on romantic relationships anyway. You had so written off the possibility of developing another romantic relationship that you'd stumbled into one without much of a thought. It made you feel so stupid, so immature. It was hard not to scream at yourself internally.

"What do you want to happen?" he asks you, placing a hand on your knee comfortingly.

"I- I don't want to lose you," you say, sighing into yourself. "And I don't want to get hurt. I don't want- I- I don't know."

"I won't hurt you," he says, squeezing your knee.

"I know you'd never intend to, but you can't guarantee that," you say. "And I can't guarantee I won't hurt you, either."

"Isn't it still worth it?" he asks.

"It depends what we decide to do," you say, eyes soft.

"I love you," he says again. It's all he can think to say right now, seeing how much you seem to be spiraling. And it works; it brings you back down into your body, into the chair you're sitting on. Suddenly you feel heavy, like the weight of all of your thoughts crashed down on you in an instant.

"I love you too," you say, nearly tearing up again. "This got way too serious and heavy," you say, trying to shake loose the dread starting to fill your veins.

"Why don't we do something fun today, then?" he asks.

"Like what?" you ask, nodding your head.

"Do you want to go to the falls, just the two of us? I felt bad you couldn't really join in the other day when we all went. If you feel up to it," he says.

"That sounds perfect," you reply, smiling at him. You're thankful he seems okay leaving the conversation where it was. You could feel yourself coming undone a bit, your thoughts running out of control, and you knew there was truly no use in continuing. You needed to reset, to calm down, and Yunho's suggestion seemed like just the thing to make you feel right again.

***

Inside you both change into your swimsuits, grabbing towels and water and snacks for your journey. Yunho liberally applies sunscreen to your body, obviously enjoying the proximity, but also genuinely wanting to protect your skin. You burn extremely easily, and sunburns always make you feel exhausted for days.

"Everyone, the two of us are going to the falls," he announces to the room as you head towards the back door. "Follow at your own risk. Consider this your official warning," he says, eyeing everyone, making you giggle at the implication. He hopes they know what he means.

You take the walk slowly, again picking flowers from the path and putting them in his hair. It's hard for you to resist your little habit, given just how beautiful the landscape is out here. You love the wilderness, but your friends and family and life are in the city, so you cherish your moments out in nature when you can. Especially when you get to place flowers in Yunho's shaggy hair, that you absolutely love. You still haven't told him that, and it gnaws at you now that things are different between you. It wasn't something you would have necessarily thought to tell him before. You generally avoided having strong opinions about others' appearances because you just didn't feel it was your place. But your opinions about his clothes, his hair, had always been a bit stronger. You'd certainly noticed it from time to time, that you reacted when he borrowed his dad's suit for a wedding, or when he'd cut his hair a certain way. Maybe a part of you felt awkward about telling him that, in a way you wouldn't about any of your other friends. You'd justified to yourself that you never said anything because he didn't care about those things either, so you didn't need to say it. But now you realized, maybe it was because you felt nervous. Because there were lingering feelings there that you weren't really aware of.

"I really like your hair right now," you blurt out, not wanting to wait any longer. You were done being distant from your feelings, not understanding them when it came to him. It was too important to you now.

"Oh, really?" he asks you, turning to you with a smile as you near the lake. "The other day my mom said I desperately need a haircut," he laughs.

"No, I like it long like this," you say, admiring your work. You know the flowers will disappear as soon as he dives in the falls, but for now they're beautiful.

"Then I'm keeping it," he says, sighing contentedly as you finally reach your destination.

The falls are beautiful today, the sky bright and blue reflected in the sparkly clear water. You set your things down on a smooth rock, far enough from the edge that they won't fall in. Quickly Yunho dives in, and you follow after him much more carefully, gently lowering yourself into the wonderfully chilly water. The temperature is a welcome pairing with the heat of the day, and you sigh, taking a deep breath before finally dunking your head under. You swim out towards the actual waterfall, breathing in the mist that forms at the bottom, the sound nearly deafening when you're so close. But it feels electric; moments like these always do, when your body is well enough for you to be out experiencing something intoxicating and brilliant. Yunho sidles up beside you, pulling you with him as he ducks through the water to come behind the fall. Behind there is a small cave, invisible to the outside world, with light bouncing across the ceiling as water droplets skip along the surface, finding their final resting place after their journey over the cliff.

Yunho's hands are on you quickly, as you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders. He's holding you up, making it so you don't have to do any work, so that you can just breathe deep and enjoy the peace of the cave. In the water your bodies move slowly, sensually, and it makes you want to touch him as closely as you can. His wet hair sticks to his forehead, water beading down his face and shoulders. The gentle light dances across his face, and the steady sound from the falling water is almost hypnotizing. Your lips are on his before you know it, and it feels just right to open your mouth as he sucks on your bottom lip, letting out a soft moan. His hands are groping you, holding you up by your ass, snaking underneath your bikini bottoms. In here it truly feels like only you and him exist, and you release into that feeling, into the realization of just how strong your feelings for him are. You keep kissing him, small pecks of love, running your fingers through his hair and brushing it out of his face. You tug on it gently, not knowing if he likes that but so intoxicated by the pleasure you're feeling. Yunho groans, making you tug harder, your breathing speeding up from his reaction.

"I wanna fuck you out here," he says over the rushing water, his lips swollen from the kiss. You groan, grinding your hips into his as you lick across his lower lip, coaxing his mouth open again. Your tongues swipe over each other, you both incredibly hungry for more.

"Follow me," he says, starting to make his way back out of the cave. The bright sun feels shocking for a moment when you exit the dimness of the cave, but it feels wonderful. Like you've been transported back to literal paradise. You follow behind him as he swims towards the muddy bank of the lake, the part that boarders a bunch of trees and is relatively shady. When you arrive he lifts you up, sitting you down on the side of the lake where he can reach you.

His lips are back on yours in moments, his hands now able to explore the entirety of your bikini, snaking underneath your top to feel your chest, rubbing his thumbs enticingly over your nipples that are already hard from the cool water. A gentle breeze blows through the woods, making your wet skin feel cold. Your body shivers, from the breeze and from Yunho's touch, and you sigh in pleasure.

"Can I take this off?" Yunho asks as he tugs at your bikini, and you nod, starting to help him remove it. "Wait," he stops you, just for a moment. "You don't really answer me, when we're having sex. Do you like being so non-verbal?"

You just nod in response, showing him just how much it's true.

"Do you like me telling you what to do? Or do you want me to ask?" he continues.

"Either," you say, managing one word.

"And you'd tell me if you didn't like something?" he asks.

"Of course," you answer, feeling it's important. "I just don't like having to talk too much."

"I understand," Yunho nods, taking in your answer. He actually finds it incredibly hot, but again, it's not really something you've fully talked through yet. He so badly wants to know that he isn't hurting you, ever.

"Take this off then," he says, gently tugging on your bikini before pulling back from you. You throw it on the bank behind you, and it falls between two flowers in the grass.

Your feet sink into the mud as he pulls your legs again towards him, gently pushing them open. With your arms behind you, and bare chest to the sky, your naked body is on full display. Yunho's hands trace over the entirety of you, his legs still in the water as he kneels down, bringing himself closer to your center. He eyes your cunt hungrily, and it makes you throb, just how much his demeanor changes when he's finally truly in control. Your whole body buzzes from your surroundings, from the knowledge that you're in the wide open air and anyone could see.

"You like being naked in the forest, don't you," he says, seeing the way you so freely tossed your clothing, how comfortably you bore yourself to the world. You blush and giggle, soaking in the smells of the forest and grass behind you.

Yunho's hands slink down your thighs, finally coming to gently brush over your slit, when you jolt back in pain. The wimper that escapes you is pathetic, the realization of just how sensitive your pussy still is hitting you. It makes you upset, almost irrationally so.

"What's wrong baby?" he asks, immediately coming to comfortingly stroke your cheek.

"She hurts," you pout, looking down.

"Does she need a break today?" he asks.

"I guess," you say, frowning dramatically.

"That's okay baby, you don't need to be upset," he says, pulling you into a hug.

"But I want to do stuff," you whine into his shoulder.

"If your body needs a break, then we should give it a break," he says logically, making you roll your eyes. You feel petulant, and just want this time at the falls to be perfect.

"Is there anything that would help her feel better?" he asks, stroking a hand down your back.

"You could massage her," you say, smiling into him.

"What do you mean? Inside or outside?" he asks. You know it doesn't really make sense, the idea of massaging a pussy. But it makes sense to you.

"Just outside like, real gentle," you say, your voice small.

Yunho pulls back, gently bringing his hand down to your slit again. You inhale sharply at the initial contact, your body reacting without your control. But soon his methodical, slow movements up and down start to feel good. You body finally relaxes into it, your head dropping back as you soak in the warmth of the air. Yunho continues moving his fingers up and down, over and over brushing gently over your clit when he reaches the apex of his movements. The pleasure grows steadily each time and soon you're moaning softly, dropping to your elbows and spreading your legs even wider as your body starts to revel in the feeling.

"Does it feel good baby?" he asks you, and you nod your head, whining in response. He moves his thumb up to focus on your clit, gathering the wetness from your entrance and spreading it around. He adds more pressure to his small circular movements, the focus making your clit feel hot and sensitive. Waves of pleasure run down your legs and race up your abdomen, making your body feel sizzling hot in the summer air. You arch your back further, pushing yourself harder into his fingers, chasing the pleasure.

"You want more?" he asks, making you mewl in response. "I know you can take more baby, even if you're sore. Relax your pussy for me," he says before lining up his other hand, gently gathering more of your wetness on his middle finger before pushing it inside of you. You gasp instantaneously, again wincing at the initial pain. But with his other hand working your clit the pain quickly leaves you, your insides feeling like they're melting from the pleasure. His long fingers feel like they reach all the way inside of you, all the way into your guts, and it feels electric. Your breathing is ragged, your awareness no where else but your core and his fingers. "Good, you're so relaxed for me. I knew you could take it," he says, slowly pumping his finger in and out, focusing on putting pressure on that spongy sensitive spot that feels the best. "That feels good, doesn't it?" he asks, and you moan in response, almost whimpering. It makes blood rush to his cock seeing you so engrossed in how good you feel, the way you can so fully submit to him and your body and all the pleasure it gives you. "You need more," he says, no longer asking. He adds another finger, careful at first to not stretch you painfully fast. Once he can tell your body is ready for it he pumps faster, still focused on adding pressure in the right places.

Your moans are higher pitched now, your clit feeling red hot with pleasure. Your pussy is still sore but it feels so good, his movements mimicking the night before but not as rough, your body remembering everything that had transpired between the two of you the past few days. It's like everything with him; it builds, slowly, and suddenly you realize it's the best feeling in the world having him in control like this, able to read your body perfectly. A true dream come true, and it makes your head fuzzy with desire as you realize just how much you like it when he touches you all over, when he takes you out to a lake in the wide open air and touches you where anyone could see. Your careful, boring life would never have anyone suspect you like this and yet he could see, he knew. It almost feels fated that you went down this path, not knowing for so long what your true feelings were. Truly, how could this get any bett-

"Baby, stop thinking," Yunho says, bringing you back to him. And in a moment you're coming, the feeling ripping through you from your clit, making your whole body tingly with warmth and pleasure. The tightening muscles of your core are sore, but still clamp down around Yunho's fingers as you ride it out, your hips rolling to meet his movements. "Good girl, good girl," he repeats in your ear, or at least it feels like he's whispering into your ear, your eyes closed and taking in every sound so vividly. You finally lay fully flat on your back, riding out the last of your orgasm, your body limp and relaxed against the dirt and grass on the bank. Finally you blink open to look at him, seeing the blown pupils you love so much, taking his hand off your clit with a small 'too much.' He smiles at you, stroking that hand across your stomach and leaning down to kiss you, hungrily coaxing your mouth open and then pulling back to suck on your bottom lip.

***

And unbeknownst to both of you, Wooyoung watched on from behind a tree, his hand down his pants as he palms his painfully hard cock, trying to offer himself some relief. He understood Yunho's implication a mile away, and after spending a long time coming up with a good excuse, trekked his way up the hill to find you two. He really was getting incessantly horny on this trip, which wasn't completely out of the ordinary given his typical predisposition to horniness. But something on this trip especially, the amount of sex happening around him, made him feel insatiable.

As he crested the small hill before the lake he saw you two immediately, saw Yunho's hands under your bathing suit and your head thrown back in pleasure, the perfect curve of Yunho's back as he leaned into you, his hands possessively roaming. Wooyoung felt himself getting hard immediately, especially as he snuck around to between the trees, the threat of being caught adding to the arousal pooling in his pants. He saw you two talking, saw some exchange happen. And then your were stripping off your bikini, throwing it behind you, and your naked body was bare to the sky. He'd told you a million times how hot you were, and you usually laughed it off; but he truly meant it. Though he couldn't hear any of the words between you he could sense your submission and the way Yunho was taking control, the way he comforted you when you seemed to be in pain, and the way he reached down again and touched you differently. Wooyoung wished he could experience Yunho's domination, how kind and gentle it was. It wasn't his usual style, not what he usually wanted. But something about seeing the two of you together made him ever so slightly jealous; it made him think of the woman he was now involved with, how he missed her hands on him.

His hand provided him some pleasure but it just wasn't enough, just couldn't satisfy him the way he needed. His dick was hard and leaking in his shorts, and the longer he watched he just didn't care anymore; he pushed them down, his movements becoming more erratic as he chased his pleasure, not caring when he heard some twigs snap under his foot. The pleasure was good, so good, but he knew it couldn't be enough for him. Did he just watch you come? God he needed the feel of someone else, the intensity of fucking another person. He needed a better look at you, needed to see all that he could, so he stepped beside the tree, a larger branch snapping under his weight and echoing against the cliff, making Yunho's head snap up.

"Wooyoung, Jesus Christ," Yunho laughed, lifting himself off of you and helping you sit up, his two fingers still inside you.

"Oh my god, Woo," you laughed too, seeing his boner even all these feet away. It made you feel good, your core clenching a moment as your realized he'd been watching.

"Sorry, I-" Wooyoung sputtered, not sure what to say. Desperately he pulled up his shorts, his cock creating an obvious tent in the material. You both keep laughing, looking over at his pathetic face, his cheeks red from being caught. Painfully, it turned him on even more, the way you both were laughing at him. "This isn't fair," he whined, trying to look away from your naked bodies.

"What do you mean?" you asked him, still laughing.

"I'm fucking horny," he whined again, his tone still pitiful, but the smirk on his face betrayed just how much he was loving this. "And you guys just keep laughing at me; I'm not even trying to be funny."

"What are you trying to do then?" Yunho asked, eyeing him.

"I-" he started, stopping himself.

"Woo, just say it," you giggled, loving every moment of seeing Wooyoung like this.

"I'm trying to- I need someone to fuck me," he blurted out, finally.

"And you're hoping it'll be me?" you jokingly batted your eyelashes at him, making his head feel fuzzy. "Or, him?" you asked, pointing at Yunho.

"Either of you, I don't care," Woo responded, his whole body flushed with how turned on he was.

"You don't prefer me?" you asked, acting like you were hurt.

"Y/n," Wooyoung groaned, his hand coming put to cover his face. "I know you're fucking with me," he sighed, trying to collect himself.

"Yeah, stop messing with poor horny Wooyoung," Yunho laughed, his hand still inside you. He liked feeling the way your pussy clenched as you teased Wooyoung; you clearly loved doing it, and he filed that thought away for later.

"You both suck," Wooyoung groaned, carefully untangling his shoe from the broken branch, making his way back towards the trail.

"Woo, maybe just ask someone instead of sneaking up on them," Yunho called, his tone light as he chuckled. Neither of you really minded his intrusion, it just probably wasn't the way he was going to succeed at his little mission.

Tumbling down the trail Wooyoung almost broke into a run, adrenaline from the conversation he'd just finished coursing through him. As he neared the cabin he tried to slow down, steadying his breaths as he spotted Mingi shooting hoops by himself, shirtless and no doubt sweaty in the afternoon heat. Taking Yunho's advice he decided to play it as cool as he could, approaching Mingi with a clear goal instead of messily stumbling up a mountain in a pure horny haze.

"Mingi!" he called out, making his way over towards the court.

"Hey Woo," Mingi replied, passing him the basketball. Wooyoung wound up, missing the basket completely, the ball bouncing away into the grass.

"You really are terrible at shooting," Mingi laughed, jogging over to pick up the ball.

"Not nice," Wooyoung pouted, his arms crossing over his chest. "I'm very good at plenty of other things," he stated, jutting out a hip.

"Oh, sure you are," Mingi joked. You weren't the only one who enjoyed messing with Wooyoung; in fact, it was kind of a default setting for most of you. It was just too fun, seeing him get all flustered and bothered in the way that he did. The crazy thing was Mingi hadn't even seen Woo's shorts yet, too focused on retrieving the basketball a moment ago.

"I am," Wooyoung fixed Mingi with a steely gaze, just as Mingi wound up for a shot. The ball bounced off the backboard, headed straight for Wooyoung, but he didn't even bother catching it as he continued to stare Mingi down.

"Woo, what are you- oh my god," Mingi laughed, finally seeing the tent in his shorts. "Did I do that?" he joked, pointing. Wooyoung's face grew pink again, that feeling of being caught doing something bad returning in full force.

"Well, yeah," Woo responded, snaking his eyes down Mingi's entire body. "You're out here playing basketball shirtless, how was I supposed to react?"

Mingi smiled and laughed, honestly flattered by Woo's admission. "So you had an anterior motive, you didn't actually want to play with me?" he asked, jogging to the back of the court to pick up the ball Woo had let go.

"Mingi, I'm horny," Wooyoung groaned, eyeing him pathetically.

"I'm shocked," Mingi responded, laughing again.

"Mingi," Woo groaned again. "I need someone to help me, to, take care of it," he mumbled, his body tingling with embarrassment.

"Just go jack off, if it's that bad," Mingi replied, shooting the basketball again. It was all so casual to him, this conversation not affecting him the way Wooyoung hoped. Well, that was a failed attempt. Grumbling something incoherent Wooyoung walked away, heading towards the back of the house until he spotted Seonghwa and Hongjoong out by the trees, laying together in the grass. He walked his way over, determined to play it right this time.

"Hi guys," he said brightly, finally coming upon them to see Hongjoong on top of Seonghwa, their lips pressed together in a deep kiss. They were more tangled together than Wooyoung realized, and he braced for the response.

"Oh my god, Woo, you fucking scared me," Hongjoong sputtered, lifting himself enough to look at him. "What's up?" he asked, confused by the sudden interruption.

"How- how are you guys, doing?" Wooyoung asked hesitantly, trying to tread lightly.

"Um, good. We're kind of in the middle of something," Hongjoong replied, Seonghwa holding back a laugh underneath him.

"I know, I- um-" Woo stuttered, not able to come out with it.

"Woo, is something wrong?" Hongjoong asked, getting annoyed.

"No, I'm-"

"Okay then what are you doing! We're clearly in the middle of something!" he nearly yelled, his dick hard in his pants and frustrated with the lack of action he was getting. Wooyoung pouted, the sharp sound of Hongjoong's voice penetrating through him. He liked being yelled at like that.

"He probably wants to join us," Seonghwa laughed, his body still lax against the grass.

"Oh, I should have guessed," Hongjoong replied, laughing too. A moment lapsed, the two of them giggling into each other, before their faces came close again. But just before they could kiss again Seonghwa held his hand against Hongjoong's shoulder, stopping him.

"Woo, seriously, we want to spend some quality time just the two of us," Seonghwa said, his voice gentle but his demand clear.

"God, all of you suck," Wooyoung huffed before turning on his heel, stalking his way back towards the cabin. He now had his sights set on the bathroom, his needs growing too severely now for him to keep wasting time hoping that one of you would join him. It was time to deal with this himself, even if it wouldn't compare to what he really wanted.

When he busted through the door he didn't even consider acting normal for everyone; his desperation was too severe. Ari noticed his strange demeanor right away, pulling him aside in the hallway.

"What's wrong?" he asked, her voice soft.

"Nothing, nothing," Wooyoung replied, trying not to be driven crazy by how attentive she was being. God, he really just needed to lock himself in that bathroom and get this shit over with.

"Woo, clearly it's something," she said eyeing his crotch, wracking her brain for what exactly it could be.

"I really shouldn't have worn these damn shorts," Woo sighed, shaking his head at just how poor his choice was. They truly were the worst, the thin grey material leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. "Sorry, I'm just so horny right now and no one I asked was willing to, uh, sleep with me," he laughed. Saying it out loud made him realize how silly it all was, some of his tension melting away.

"Woo, I-" Ari looked over to San, seeing him engrossed in a conversation with Yeosang and Jongho. "Give me a sec, stay right here," she said before grabbing San, pulling him into their shared bedroom for a quick conversation. Soon she had returned, Wooyoung waiting patiently with his hands covering his crotch as he tried to act as normal as possible.

"Woo, come with me," Ari beckoned, holding out her hand. He grabbed it, following diligently towards the master bedroom. Once inside Ari sat him on a chair, her and San facing him while they sat on their bed.

"Woo, you seem very in need, and well, we're offering to help you," Ari started, not a single awkward pause tainting her sentence.

"Wait, really?" Woo asked looking between the two of them, absolutely shocked. They were the last people he'd ever have thought would be open to this, mostly because he'd never even met San and had no way of knowing what sort of thing he was into. But even Ari, she'd never seemed like the kind of person who'd want to share.

"Yes really. We can, tonight, if you want to," she finished, San nodding along. They'd actually discussed this possibility of this exact scenario about a month before, both laughing at the time about how unlikely it was to really happen. But they both found Wooyoung attractive, and decided they wouldn't rule out the idea of messing around with him together. At that time San had only seen pictures and spoken to Woo on the phone a few times; still, his interest was piqued.

"I-" Woo stuttered again, his words failing him badly with how fuzzy his head had felt for nearly the entire afternoon. "I don't know if, if my girlfriend will like it," he suddenly blurted out, surprising everyone, including himself.

"You have a girlfriend?" Ari asked.

"Yeah, that woman Mingi told you guys about, that choreographer," he responded.

"So things are really that serious, between you two?" Ari asked, so curious. There was no judgement in her tone, this was just truly a bit out of character for Wooyoung.

"We haven't discussed it yet," Woo replied, his own eyes still wide.

"Why didn't you invite her to come along?" San asked him, smiling at how genuine Woo's surprise clearly was.

"I- I didn't even think to," Wooyoung sighed, shaking his head.

"You should text her, we've still got a few days. And aren't your cousins leaving tomorrow morning? That'll free up some space on the couches," Ari said, smiling genuinely at Wooyoung.

"Fuck, I should," Woo smiled, the corners of his lips turning up ever so slightly. "I'm sorry guys, I hope I'm not making you feel rejected or anything, by saying no. I'd gladly fuck both of you, any day," he finished, making them both laugh.

"Don't apologize Woo, it's no big deal. Go, go text her," Ari responded, shooing Wooyoung out of the room. It was honestly so adorable how genuine Wooyoung was being, so careful with this woman's feelings, and it made Ari so happy to see her friend experiencing what all of you had wanted for him for so long.

***

The day pulled to an end, the sun starting to fall beyond the tree line, covering the sky in a beautiful subtle shade of orange. S'mores were on the menu tonight, the whole group of you gathered around the fire pit as Yunho and Mingi stoked the fire, their faces lit up with the brilliant light of the flames. You sat wrapped up in Yunho's hoodie again, yawning hard as you shivered in the cold air of the night. Earlier, when you'd finally made it back to the cabin, you'd realized your skin was burnt, and it only took a few hours for the exhaustion to start setting in. So much for trying to be careful, you thought. But it really was worth it today, getting to spend all that time alone with Yunho.

"How was everyone's day?" Ari asks from San's lap, a blanket wrapped around the two of them.

"So good," you smile at her, and she waggled her eyebrows at you, making you laugh. "I wish I could go to that waterfall, like, every weekend," you say, a murmur of agreement passing through the group.

"I'm sure Wooyoung wishes you could do that too," Yunho adds, looking over at Wooyoung with a smirk.

"Do tell," Ari prompts him, seeing clearly he has a story to share.

"Well, Woo came and interrupted me and y/n while we were, you know, in the middle of the things out by the lake. It was funny," he laughs, smiling at you.

"He did the same to us," Hongjoong responds, making both you and Yunho's eyebrows jump up.

"Woo I told you not to sneak up on anyone else," Yunho chastises him, laughing harder.

"Damn Woo, you really asked everyone today," Mingi laughs, smirking.

"You all are such cunts," Wooyoung responds, fighting back the laughter himself. "You just keep rubbing it in my damn face how you're having sex every goddamn day we're here."

"I haven't been," Mingi retorts, earning an eye roll form Wooyoung.

"Okay well you're rubbing it in my face how perfect your body is, so yeah, you still qualify as a cunt," Wooyoung responds.

"Did you text your girlfriend Woo?" Ari asks.

"Girlfriend?" you ask, looking at him expectantly.

"Yes, girlfriend. And yes I did; she said she has to check her schedule but she's probably coming tomorrow," Woo responds, looking almost nervous.

"Oh my god Woo, this is so exciting!" Ari responds.

"Wait, are you two like, together together? Officially?" you ask. Woo nods, that shy smile not leaving his lips.

"Look at him, he's growing up," Seonghwa sighs, making you all laugh. There is a palpable relief washing through the group, at seeing Wooyoung willing to explore a relationship again after swearing everything about love off so long ago. High school relationships can be so scarring, and a big part of you felt so thankful you never even considered dating at that age, despite at the time feeling like you were missing out on something to integral to growing up.

"And what's the deal with you two?" Ari eyes you and Yuho, smiling at the way your eyes can't even meet hers.

"We haven't talked about it yet, we'll tell you guys in our own time," Yunho responds, not angry by any means but firm enough to shut down the line of inquiry.

"Things are good," you add, seeing the curious looks of everyone.

"Your boyfriend is really cool, by the way," Jongho says to Ari, earning a small chorus of 'so true' and 'I agree' from the group.

"Thank you, that's so nice to hear," Ari responds, snuggling closer in San's lap. "You always worry what people will think of your boyfriend, especially your favorite people."

"He seems basically perfect," you say, Ari's face lighting up with a smile. San has finally lost the battle with himself, his own face curling into a shy smile that makes his dimples pop.

"Aw look, he's blushing!" Mingi calls, making you all break into giggles once again. "Here, who wants the first one?" he asks holding up a toasty marshmallow, Wooyoung holding out his plate of graham crackers and chocolate. "Be careful guys, they're gonna be really hot," he says as he pops another marshmallow on his stick, carefully holding it the perfect distance above the now-steady fire. Eventually you all have hot marshmallows on your plate, the chocolate melty inside the delicious sugary sandwich you all are enjoying. Well, everyone except you has melty chocolate, because of course chocolate was one of those pesky things you couldn't eat. Still you enjoyed the treat, resting your head against the back of your chair as you all chowed down, the group falling into near silence.

"She said she can come tomorrow morning," Wooyoung suddenly announces after checking his phone, the light from the sun nearly totally gone now. You all murmur in approval, genuinely excited to meet this woman who your dear friend so cares about. Soon everyone is done, wiping their faces as they finish the last of their s'mores, the fire slowly starting to die as Yunho and Mingi let it burn out. In the darkness of the night you can see so many starts, the sight always taking your breath away when you have the chance to see it. You lay staring up for a while, trying to find the constellations you know, your eyes eventually feeling too heavy to hold open. Soon you're woken from your slumber by Yunho, as he carries you inside to properly go to bed, your head resting against his shoulder as he carries you. You're out moments after snuggling into the soft sheets of your bed nook, your mind enveloped in a comforting darkness after the wonderful day you'd just had.

[kakujis]

𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓… ☽

baji vers | geto vers

synopsis: unbeknownst to you, the grave you visit everyday has been empty for years. keisuke is finally ready to come see you again.

warnings: gn!reader, vampire!baji, character death, devotion, grief and dealing with it, slightly angsty but also fluffy, pet names (baby, kitten), swearing, a little selfship coded, NOT PROOFREAD!, SFW feel free to interact but pls remember i'm an 18+ blog!

ft: vampire!baji x reader, 2.4k

network: @enchantedforest-network

an: here's baji's version!! actually, this one was supposed to come AFTER suguru's but... erm... hehe. it also was supposed to be spookier, but i am nothing but a big ole softy for my loverboy. ): happy halloween! i wanted to post it on his birfday, but i think this is more fitting! could've been longer but i just wanted to get something out LOL. thanks to nie for letting me ramble about this lil fic!!

life is such a finicky thing. and sometimes, the time ticks by too slowly for your liking until it’s suddenly too fast, too short, too soon.

you’ve been to this grave a hundred - no maybe thousands of times, over the years. and yet, like the snowfall, your tears slip down your cheeks, hugging the warmth of your body, til they fall onto the ground disappearing into the asphalt. 

chifuyu matsuno thinks one day, he’ll beat you to it. one day he’ll be the one who arrives first, turning around with a smile and holding a bag of peyoung yakisoba. it’ll be his eyes rimmed red with hands trembling so hard that he’s sure they’ll snap. but you are always here first, almost every day for the past god knows how many years. 

every aspect of the word “first”, is what keisuke baji had embodied. first division captain, first born son, and your first love. he was rowdy, rough, sometimes a little insensitive, but at the end of it all, he was loyal. he was yours. 

“if i’m yours, then you’re mine.” he grinned, toothy, vibrant and all encompassing. his hands held yours like they were the world, and maybe, in a sense, they were. but even the world cannot last forever, the stars themselves bursting at the seams when their time has come. 

“they’re so pretty.” you told him, leaning against his shoulder, pointing up with your index finger. “don’tcha think?” 

“they’re alright,” he mumbled, but he kept his eyes upward, staring at the same stars as you. “i'd rather look at you.” 

“you’re so fucking cheesy.” you laughed, before pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. 

when stars die, they leave a beautiful supernova, an explosion of color across the galaxy, painting the universe in rich hues of color. but when baji died, you thought it was so fucking ugly. you remember throwing up the first night, your own shitty constellation within the porcelain of your toilet. 

then the world started to dim, like the world was dipped in muted shades when there used to be so much vibrance. the sun was no longer as bright and you no longer sought comfort under the moon, hiding away from even her blue light. 

if there is solace in one thing, it’s that baji was a really good liar. sure, he was different that day and sometimes had trouble looking at you, but there was nothing to suspect that he would decide to plunge in that knife and bleed out on the ground of that god forsaken junkyard. 

“i’m scared you’ll go away,” you told him one night, so desperately wishing now that you would’ve noticed the way he tensed ever so slightly. “like, one day, i’ll wake up and you’re not there anymore.” 

you remember how he leaned in, nose brushing against yours before pulling back slightly. “and where would i go that doesn’t have you in it?” he grinned, another bright fanged smile that eased every single worry out of your brain. and you decided in that moment, that keisuke was always going to be the one that held your heart in his hands. 

“marry me one day.” you replied and he laughed, before holding up his pinky to yours. “good. saying no wasn’t an option.” 

“figured.” 

but today is not a day to be caught in memories as the sun plummets below the horizon, as the sky shifts from a pretty magenta pink to inky black. feet bouncing off the pavement, you scurry over to his grave. you chastise yourself for being late today of all days, it was his birthday. 

“sorry!” you call out as you finally make it, hands on your knees as you suck precious air back into your lungs. “sorry i’m late, kei.” 

you do the usual of pouring water onto the tombstone, before you light a candle and spread the blanket beneath you, sitting cross-legged as you pull out the contents of your bag. “i got a little something extra today,” you say, eagerly pulling out the sealed little slice of cake you got at the bakery. “okay… so it looks a little fucked, but don’t mind that.” you giggle, before sighing.

“if you were here… what would you say?” you mumble to yourself, before putting on your best keisuke voice. “hah? it’s still edible isn’t it?... or something.” you nod as if in response to him, before tearing it open and setting it down. “chifuyu saw you earlier right? did he bring you something good? oh! and, i was looking at some of the cats at the pet shop earlier, they’re no peke j but, they’re still cute, y’know?” 

you always do this. you ramble and ramble, relaying your day to him as if he’s listening intently to you. sometimes, you’ll imagine when the two of you sat in his room, his lips quirked up into a smile as he nodded and listened to you. 

“the cake is good!” you exclaim, taking a bite. it’s fluffy, creamy, and sweet, it almost masks the saltiness of your tears that seep past your lips, onto your tongue and settle on your buds. 

almost.

“fuck- sorry. sorry for crying.” you use one hand to wipe away at your tears, the other holding onto your convenient plastic fork. it’s harder to breathe now, sobs wracking your body as your mind floods with “what ifs” once again. what if you had asked him to stay with you that day? what if you tried harder? what if you had noticed something was wrong sooner? could you have done anything? and what if-

lost in your thoughts you almost miss the familiar drawl that used to set your heart and soul on fire. “still a crybaby, eh?” 

you freeze, the fall breeze caressing your cheek as you sniffle and ever so slowly, turn. you must have been hearing things, you think, as there’s nothing there but the other stone graves and the leaves on the wind. 

“maybe i am losing my fucking mind...” you mutter, taking a deep breath to calm yourself, “i should look into therapy.” 

you shake your head, a little spooked. it’s getting later by the moment, the only light nearby being the candle, a warm-orange flame surrounded by night. you lean over to blow it out, but stop, feeling that you should stay a bit longer. not only are you late, but it’s keisuke’s day, it wouldn’t be right to leave so soon. you frown, before settling back in place. 

“anyways, what was i saying?” you hum, taking another scoop of your dessert. “something-“

“something about the new cats at chifuyu’s shop right?” that familiar voice sounds again, closer this time, tickling the shell of your ear. 

you immediately jerk around and almost pass out at what you see. crouched down and smiling, that familiar wolfy grin is keisuke, looking just like you remembered. from the way his long, inky hair frames his face to the vivid carmine of his eyes, it’s keisuke. 

“hey, continue the story baby, i was listening.” he gestures to the cake on your fork, slipping off the utensil from the shakiness of your hands. “lemme have a bite?” 

you’re snapped from your stupor when he finally touches you, cold fingers lightly guiding your hand upward towards his mouth. you immediately scramble back, the cake falling onto the blanket below. 

“kitten,” he says, frowning at the mess, “y’know i hate wasting food.” the pet name almost sends you into a spiral, the way it falls off his tongue so easily, just like he always used to say it, almost like it was your name at times. 

“you’re not real.” you whisper, shaking your head slightly, the words trapped behind the door of your brain unleashing in that moment. “i’m hallucinating. i have to be.” 

he inches towards you as you continue to crawl back, back hitting the cold gray stone. keisuke leans in, snuffing out the candle between his fingers first before redirecting his attention to you. he’s so close you’re sure he can feel your breath, but the odd thing is, you can’t feel his.

“if i wasn’t real…” he starts, inching in so close your noses just barely touch, just a hair widths away, “could i do this?” he kisses you then, just barely holding back his deep fervent need to snatch you up and take you home. wherever that was. 

it’s strange, baji’s cold, nearly ice, and yet you feel the familiar rush of warmth through your veins that once bloomed so deeply in your heart, that everything suddenly does feel real. the two of you stay like that for a few moments and when he pulls away you lean in again, snatching him by the collar to press another kiss to the lips that you missed so much. 

baji’s wolfish grin plays on his face in between the kisses you continue to plant against his lips and his skin, alternating between his cheeks and jawline. “yeah, yeah, i missed you too, you big crybaby.” he laughs, cupping your face to swipe at the tears that fall freely once again. 

you whine when he forces you to pull off, bringing your hands up to his, almost as if you’re sure he’ll run off again and be gone by morning. “you’re really keisuke? …this isn’t a joke?” you shake your head as you ask, hiccuping and trying your best to heave in gulps of air. 

“yeah, it’s me.” he answers, the crinkle of his eyes never leaving. 

but you just don’t get it. how is baji here and not well, six-feet under? almost as if he can read your mind he speaks, “i’m not really sure how it happened either.” he starts, releasing you and staring down at his palms, opening and closing them, almost as if he’s also in a daze. “i shouldn’t be here, i know that. i made sure i wouldn’t and yet, i woke up not too long after that day.” he lifts his shirt up and you wince in anticipation, but there’s nothing where the old stab wound should be, like it never happened. 

hesitantly, you place your hand flat against the area, before your fingertips trace the outline where it should be. you exhale deeply before speaking again, “how come you only showed up now?” 

he gives you a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his neck, as the hem of his shirt falls back into place. “well… i had to sort of figure things out. dunno how well received i would’ve been if i just showed up after my own funeral.” he jokes, but you glare at him. 

“do you have any idea at all how badly that fucked me up?” you ask, remembering the countless nights you spent staring up at your bedroom walls so utterly exhausted from crying or the days you spend in a haze, trying your best to get through the day. you won’t lie, you’ve been so angry since that day. endlessly lonely, endlessly empty, and just when you thought you’d be able to get over it, he shows up like it wasn’t that big of a deal. 

“well, i watched you a lot.” he admits, gazing around the cemetery. “you come here every single day, you cry every single time, even when you say you’re not going to. you’ve cursed me out in death more times than i can count and i think you’ve tried every single type of peyoung soba. you, chifuyu, and kazutora have only come here together a handful of times and everytime one of you ends up drunk crying.” he snorts, before continuing, “you sleep with my hair ties under your pillow and almost had the balls to ask my mom for my toman jacket, multiple times.she would’ve said yeah, by the way. every evening you say goodnight to me and that you love me.” 

he grins when you sit there, mouth agape, and asks, “did i miss anythin’?” 

you shake your head, “but what now? i still don’t get why you came here today?” 

he shrugs, “i’ve got a question for ya.” but his expression is serious now, the shift in his features making you nervously fidget with your hands. but before you can look away, he tilts your head towards him, the other hand intertwining with yours, locking you in place. “you still wanna be with me forever?” 

your heart pounds in your chest, almost alarmingly so, as you gaze at him with lidded eyes while your voice is light, fluttering back up to him and relaying the answer he’s been waiting to hear. “of course, keisuke.”

“and you’d do anything? …let me do anything?” he questions further, squeezing when you nod your head. 

you’d let me turn you?

and you’re aware now, what it is he’s asking. and maybe, you think it’s because you centered so much of you life around him, that leaving it behind doesn’t sound too bad. if you were the clouds, then baji was the sky, always trying to stay in that space so intrinsically bound to one another that only death could have separated you. 

he never said the word, but he didn’t really need to. what was the one thing that could have escaped death like this?  what else was he but a vampire? 

“okay,” he sighs, “if you’re sure.”

“more than ever.” you state. 

keisuke is fast, picking you up and into his arms. naturally, you wrap yours around his neck, a part of you still thinking that this must be a dream. 

“well, there’s no way we’re gonna do it in some freakin’ cemetery.” he jokes and you giggle. if his heart could beat, he’s sure it’d flutter just as fast as yours. 

“hey are you gonna turn chifuyu?” you ask, blinking up at him, “or tora?” 

“you think they’d wanna hang out with us? for eternity?” he asks, picking up the pace as he walks.

“hmm, maybe you’re right. besides, takemichi’s gonna miss them too much right?” you continue, the breeze kissing your now dried cheeks. 

“don’t forget mikey.” he adds, before continuing, “well, it’s not like we can’t visit sometime.” 

you nod, placing your head on his shoulder, “not too soon though, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” 

he smiles at you as he answers, “don’t worry. we’ve got all the time in the world.” 

as the two of you leave, you peek back towards the lights of the city, becoming smaller and smaller with each step. and you wonder how upset chifuyu’ll be tomorrow when he finds your half-eaten cake, spread out on an already forgotten blanket. 

[ghostofskywalker]

The Galaxy Can Grant A Second Chance

Hunter/Fem!Reader

Words: 2,083

Summary: You didn't think you would ever see them again, but here they were, and you are forced to face the truth behind why you left all that time ago.

Prompt: "I'm not leaving. Not this time"

Note: this is part of the bad batch xreader exchange, which i ran! my prompt came from @knightprincess, and i had a lot of fun writing it! To the see the other fics in the exchange, check out @cloneficgiftexchange :)

i have not seen any of the bad batch season 3 at this point (my brain is hyperfixated on dimension 20 atm), so this is obviously set prior to that, but of course i like to imagine that crosshair eventually finds his way back to his family <3

Clone Troopers Masterlist

The first time you caught a glimpse of the Bad Batch through the window of the mechanic shop you worked in, you were fully convinced it was a hallucination. There was no way they were here now, it had to be a trick of the mind, a manifestation of some guilt you hadn’t yet processed. 

You had left no trace when you disappeared, there was no way they would be able to find you. 

If you had only seen them once, you might have truly chalked it up to some kind of exhaustion (this job certainly had hours different than you were used to working, along with the added stress of the Empire’s rule over the galaxy), but it happened again. This time hours later, you could see what looked like the back of Tech’s head and Wrecker’s hulking frame pass through the crowds on the street. 

As your stomach dropped, you rushed to the shop’s tiny windows, staring out as people walked along the street, trying to catch a glimpse while also keeping to the shadows. And after a few desperate moments, you felt comfortable confirming it: that the Bad Batch was indeed here, on the surface of Tatooine, and you didn’t know why. 

The note you left was more hurtful than you wished it had to be, but you didn’t want anyone trying to follow you. Did this mean they were actively tracking your movements, that they were risking their cover (and their lives) to find you? Or was this simply something of a coincidence, an unfortunate reality that neither they nor you had any part in? If you were too obvious about your presence, and their reason for being here wasn’t related to your disappearance from their ship, you were now risking everything you fought so hard to protect. The bounty on your head had been (and still was) growing exponentially by the day, and after a while you could no longer ignore it. The Empire had placed a hefty price on your head, and it was clear that they were willing to go to great lengths to get what they wanted, making your mere presence dangerous to anyone you cared about.

It was hard enough leaving in the middle of the night like you did, and you hoped that the forces at work in the galaxy would at least have the decency to allow you to grieve the loss of what could have been in peace, because Maker knows you already had enough guilt in your heart, you certainly didn’t need another reminder of the way in which you gave up the best life you’ve ever had. 

And then you saw him, and your heart stopped for a moment. 

Hunter had always been your favorite, and no, it wasn’t because you found his face tattoo incredibly attractive. The two of you had clicked instantly, and as much as you enjoyed hanging out with his brothers, you had a special connection with him. But the galaxy was nothing if not cruel, and it placed you both in a situation where things would never work out, because if you truly wanted more than just a platonic relationship with him, you would have to live with the fact that you were putting him and his entire family at risk with every second you stayed on that ship. 

Leaving was the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but you knew it was the best option. If something had happened to any of the Bad Batch, you would never be able to forgive yourself, and you would rather see them alive and hating you than the alternative. You thought that peace had already been made, that you finally came to terms with the fact that you lost a gamble on love for the price of keeping them safe, but apparently that wasn’t the case. 

Because here they were, and you were definitely not hallucinating. 

It wasn’t a good idea to keep staring out the window, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop, because this was something you never thought would happen, and therefore had no mental plan in place. 

They were standing across the street, and Omega was scanning her surroundings, as if looking for something. You tried to duck away from the window when you saw her gaze passing by, and you believed that your efforts were mostly successful, but after a while it seemed like she was staring in your shop’s direction more and more. After a few more minutes, you simply ducked away, resigning yourself to begin working on the speeders you had in the back room, because their owners would be coming to pick them up in less than a day, and you hadn’t really done anything yet. 

The day was otherwise eventless, and as the hours passed the feelings of worry, doubt, and anxiety in your stomach started to dissipate. By the time you finished up your repair job on some landspeeders, you thought you might have forgotten what happened this morning.

The bell in your front room jingled, signaling to you that there was someone who needed your help. “I’ll be there in a moment!” you called, quickly finishing up the piece of engine you were installing and grabbing a cloth to mop up the oil stains on your hands (with this line of work dirty hands were expected, but you also didn’t really want to accidentally get some grime on a potential client). 

When you stepped out in the front room, that cloth fell from your hands, and that rock returned to your stomach. 

The entire Bad Batch was standing there, with a full spectrum of expressions on their faces, ones that ranged from calculating (Tech), to smiling (Omega), to nonchalance (Crosshair, who you hadn’t actually met but had seen enough holopictures of to recognize on sight). Hunter stood in the middle of the group, and the look on his face could only be described as a mixture of anger and melancholy. 

You didn’t know what to say. How could you know what to say? How would any combination of words strung together in this moment effectively communicate what you were feeling? 

But it didn’t seem like anyone else was going to say anything, so you had to be the one to break the silence. “Can I help you with something?” You tried to sound professional, but some of your feelings broke through the script. 

Out of everyone standing there, you were shocked to see Crosshair speak up. “We need to have someone look at the central wiring on our droid. Is that something you do here?”

A little surprised at the way he simply inquired about your services, you wondered if the rest of the Batch had not told him about their prior time with you. You thought for a moment before answering. “I specialize more in land vehicles, but I know something about droids, depending on what kind you have. If nothing else, I should be able to take a look at it, and if I don’t have the parts to fix it I probably know someone who does.” 

You had suspicions about what the droid in question would be, because you of course remembered the temperamental gonk droid that also called the Havoc Marauder home. But time has passed since you had last seen them, so you didn’t know for sure if that was what Crosshair was talking about. 

“It’s a GNK-series power droid,” Crosshair said, and you were suddenly aware of all the others’ gazes on you. It was the same droid, but since everyone was acting like they didn’t know who you were, you weren’t going to cause any kind of trouble now. 

“I can definitely take a look at that,” you said, and the rest of the interaction went by in a blur. What felt like moments later you were left alone (after Gonky was brought into your work area), and the room fell silent. A whirlwind of questions spun around in your brain as you searched the rooms of the shop for the parts and tools you would need. 

Did they know you were here before they stepped in the door, or was this all some kind of terrible coincidence? 

If they did know you we here before they walked in, why didn’t anyone say anything? 

And finally, why did the galaxy have to torture you this way? 

Gonky made a noise from the other room, and you just sighed. Of course it wasn’t enough for you to sacrifice your future with Hunter for his (and the rest of his family’s safety), now you had to be reminded of your treachery in what felt like the worst way. 

***

Thankfully you had all the parts necessary to refit Gonky for some new wires, and you communicated that in a message to the Batch, who promised to return in a few hours to pick up the droid. By the time the bells on your door jingled, you thought you were ready to face the people you abandoned once more. 

Until only Hunter stepped through the doorway, a solemn look on his face. 

This time, it was clear he wasn’t going to pretend that he didn’t know you. “Why did you leave?”

You stopped what you were doing, thankfully managing to hold onto the wrench in your hands so it didn’t go clattering to the floor. “I told you,” you said softly, not wanting to show any sign of regret, of weakness. You were still being hunted, and until the galaxy was free of the Empire’s hold, you had to be aware of that. Lying to him hurt, but you still believed it to be the only option.

“Two lines of scribble on a piece of flimsi isn’t enough,” he said. “And look, I’ve made my peace with things if you truly didn’t want to be around me anymore, but I need to hear it from you.” 

You opened your mouth, all set to force the lie loose from your throat, but you couldn’t do it. “It doesn’t matter what I want,” you said. “The Empire has put a price on my head, and I couldn’t stomach being the reason that you, any of your brothers, or Omega got caught.”

“Why didn’t you say that?” he asked. 

At this point, it was taking a lot for you not to break. “Because I thought it would be easier, for all of us. Things between you and me were getting more serious, and I knew I wasn’t strong enough to resist if you asked me to stay.” 

You expected him to respond, to say something about how they would protect you, how you would be safer all together, or for him to even to nod, take Gonky, and leave. You didn’t expect him to start laughing. 

“What?” Now you were confused. 

When he finally stopped, your eyebrows were raised. “You know we have a price on our head that’s almost double the one on yours, right?” 

“No, I-” 

But he cut you off. “Maybe it wasn’t when you ran away, but now? We’ve caused a lot of chaos that the Empire isn’t happy about. We’re actually looking for a way to lay low for a while, and since it was an accident running into you here, maybe you could give us some pointers?”

Well, that was one of your questions answered. There was a hopeful edge to his voice that you found yourself falling for, and you thought that even though you had bolted in the middle of the night, you found yourself foolishly hoping that maybe there would still be a future for you, with him. 

“I’ve got a pretty big place here,” you said softly, and the implication was clear. “I wouldn’t mind if you crashed for a while.” 

Things between you wouldn’t fixed in a day, a week, or a month. There was still work to be done if you ever wanted to get back to the way things used to be, and maybe that was impossible. But you were willing to put that work in, to help mend where you had broken when you slipped out of the ship in the dead of night all that time ago. 

“I’d like that,” he said, and the two of you stepped closer to one another, close enough for him to take your hand. “As long as I don’t have to worry about you running away again.” 

You laughed. "I'm not leaving. Not this time"

- the end -

[book-of-baba-fett]

Revolve - Captain Rex x Fem!Reader

Summary: After months of thinking he was dead, Captain Rex comes back into your life. There will be time to figure out where you lie in a galaxy neither of you know anymore, but for now you can't keep your hands off him and Rex needs to show you how much he missed you.

Warnings: Smut (18+ only for this folks), oral sex (f receiving), boob & general body worship, PiV, praise kink, mentions of/light cockwarming, creampie

A/N: Inspired by Rex's return in The Bad Batch season 2, but no spoilers for the episode's plot. It's been a long time of writer's block, so i'm kicking up my brain again with some good old smut featuring our favorite blond captain. Divider by @galacticgraffiti

Word Count: 3.4k

Ao3 Link

Masterlist

You were always careful with how you left your apartment: Coruscant wasn’t a safe space to live, even before the Empire. Now there was a false sense of security, a cover brought by the end of the war that should make you feel comfort but you couldn’t lose the fear that something else would come to shake your world at its core. Thing were supposed to be safe, but you didn’t recognize the galaxy anymore. You couldn’t stop looking over your shoulder as you walked home, you never lingered in secluded spots for too long, maybe you were being paranoid, but ever since you the war ended you knew you weren’t safe. Maybe it was because you lost the one person who you knew would always look after you. So, you always triple check that your doors are locked before bed, that your security system was on, and would repeat the same motions when you left for work in the morning. So, tonight when you arrive home to an unlocked door, it’s more than a surprise.

You recognize the simple signs of disturbances; your chair slightly nudged to the side, a cloak resting over the back of your couch. Whoever came in was giving you warning signs so you wouldn’t be alarmed once you saw the shadow of their figure staring out your window.

And the last thing Rex ever wanted to do was frighten you.

At the sound of your keys landing on the counter, Rex turns to face you. He looks good for a 'dead' man. Your heart pounds heavily in your chest, your feet frozen in place as you take in the man in front of you. You never believed the reports, couldn’t fathom that he had died in the crash that took his brothers. Still, it was like a ghost stood in front of you, and you were afraid if you acknowledged it, you would wake up from this wanted dream.

But then he says your name, the rumble of his voice too present to be a figment of your imagination. His eyes are filled with longing and disbelief even though he had sought you out; you would have teased him for it if you weren't in shock yourself.

You practically leap at him, and Rex is waiting with open arms; those strong, caring arms grasping you tightly as he tugs you into his chest. The vest he wears is so light you can feel his heart thudding in his chest, as runaway with glee as yours is too. He presses his face into your neck, smelling the scent of your shampoo, taking in your essence. HIs hands grasp your clothing, he needed this moment just as much as you did; this tangible proof that you still existed after everything else fell apart.

"Cyar'ika," He murmurs, his breath hot against the skin of your neck. Hu nuzzles into you and you feel the stubble growing on his cheek; a new thing for him. "I'm sorry it took me so long."

"I thought I lost you," you manage to squeak out, eyes burning from tears threatening to spill over.

"I wanted to be here sooner," you can feel the weight of honesty on his words. Rex pulls back, his eyes once again finding you. Now that you're closer, you can take him in much better. A pale scar on his temple is the only sign of injury on him. He rests his hand on your cheek, his thumb circling over where tears had already managed to stain. "I would have been. But it wasn't safe."

"It still isn't," you interject, your worry for him renewed in a different way. "So much has happened so quickly. And I don't believe what they're saying about the Jedi being traitors, it just doesn't make sense."

"It's all lies," Rex insists in a harsher tone than he's ever used with you. He dials it back once he sees the apprehension on your face, pecking a kiss on your forehead before exhaling. His face is lined with exhaustion, his eyes tired, and you can feel the anger laced with guilt radiating off him. "Palpatine was using them, using all of us, all along."

"What happened?" you almost don't want to know, but you have to understand where he's been, everything he's dealt with. You can't take his burdens, but you can help him with the weight.

"It's not a quick tale," he says with a mirthless chuckle, that deep sound that you love so much hidden behind the dead seriousness.

"Well, I'm here to listen," You nuzzle against his hand, planting a kiss in his palm.

"Later. Right now, though..." Rex's tone gets lower, his hand sliding to your neck as the arm around your back squeezes you tighter. “It’s been too long since I kissed you.”

You don’t have time to reply before his lips are on yours, a moan catching your throat as his grasp tightens. Rex is slow, tentative at first, as if he’s savoring the moment to make up for lost time. But when you pull back for air, it’s like a switch flips in him; his eyes are dark with desire, hooded as they look over you.

He guides you back to the bedroom he’s spent so many nights in. He knows your place like it was his own, and one day you had wanted to make it so. Now you know that day could never be.

Rex kisses you again, hungrier and insisting as his hands find the waistline of your pants. You can’t hold in the giggle that escapes your lips at his frantic attempts to take your clothes off. You help him as best you can, lifting your shirt up. Rex makes an indignant huff when he has to release your lips, but its quickly silenced as you stand in front of him in your bra and panties. His hands reach around your back, his deft fingers skillfully removing your bra. His eyes are locked on your face as he slides it off you, watching the way your lips tremble in anticipation.

Rex’s touch was reverential; his fingertips grazing over your skin, raising goosebumps as his touch passed. Your nipples pebbled, from the cold air or from the arousal of the heat of his hands against you, you weren’t sure.

“I missed you,” you whimper as he nudges you to sit on the bed. That doesn’t encompass all you’ve felt in the last few months. Nothing could compare to the ache you felt without him. But you couldn’t burden him with that, not when he was dealing with so much.

“I’ve missed you too, Cyare,” Rex leans down and clasps both his hands around your face. “But I’m here now. It’s just you and me.”

He’s quick to remove his clothes, eager to feel his skin against yours. You slide back as he does, taking him in as you prop up on your elbows. His chest is littered with more scars than you remember, something that frightens you. But you can’t let your fears get in the way of this moment.

You spread your legs wider, smirking at the way Rex’s eyes linger on your panties, the only time of clothing either of you are wearing. He prowls to the bed, slowly climbing on it and over you until he’s kissing you again.

“Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?” Rex murmurs against your lips.

“You could mention it more often,” you can’t resist the urge to tease, ignoring the fluttering in your stomach. Rex blows a huff of air against your lips as he chuckles in response.

“Alright then,” he starts, his voice dangerously low as he presses up.

“You’re gorgeous,” he repeats, pecking a kiss on the corner of your mouth. His lips trail down to your jaw, his breath hot on you as if meets the sensitive skin of your neck. You yelp in surprise as his teeth meet your skin, nipping lightly before his tongue laves over the sensitive spot. “And so sexy.”

He makes his way down to your heaving chest. His palm cups on of your breasts, squeezing as he plants open mouthed kisses on your sternum. His eyes meet yours once again, a slight smugness in them as his tongue peaks out and flicks over your nipple.

“Love your perfect tits,” Rex groans before sucking your nipple between his lips. You whimper from the pleasure, your cheeks hot and your core aching. He moves to your other breast, sucking on that nipple too as you squirm beneath him. You try to press your legs together to release some of the need settling in at the apex of your thighs, but Rex’s body between you prevents that. But he knows what you want, and starts to grind his hardness against you. You gasp as you feel how large he is, his hot and heavy cock rutting against you. Droplets of precum smear against your lower abdomen as Rex lazily thrusts, still focused on your chest.

When he decides he’s done, he scoots lower down your body, his tongue tracing his path down before he gets to your panties. Rex looks up at you, his brown eyes filled with sinful wanting as he licks a stripe over your covered slit, tasting the tang of your arousal that had already dampened your panties. You moan his name, one of your legs crossing over his back to nudge him closer to you.

“Patience,” Rex tsks, that small, confident grin that drives you insane still on his face. His fingers toy with the band on your panties. “Only good girls get rewarded.”

You hmph, prepared to sass him back when he raises an eyebrow at you. You put on a sweet smile, and nudge your legs slightly further apart, waving your hips as you wiggle.

“I’ve just missed how good you make me feel,” you sound breathless as you say it. “I can’t handle being teased right now.”

You try to shift again but Rex holds you steady. He presses a kiss to your thigh; the roughness of his stubble sends a shiver down your spine. You must be dripping in your panties, your need for him to give you everything taking over. “Rex; please.”

Rex was a resolved man, but he always had a weakness where you were concerned. “Anything for you, cyar’ika.”

Rex loops his fingers around your waistband and slowly slides your panties down, groaning when he sees your glistening lips. Once they’re off, he crawls back to you on the bed. His strong arms wrap around your thighs, his large hands holding your thighs steady and open for him as he dives in.

You moan as soon as his tongue glides through your lips, you try to grind your hips against his face but his grip is strong, holding you in place as he tastes you. He licks a long, flat strip up your slit, then circles over your clit with his tongue, You can’t hold in the way your breath hitches as he flicks over your clit, teasing you as he begins to finally relieve some of that pressure aching in you. 

Rex groans against your skin as he tastes you, thinking of how much he missed this, missed you. It’s cliche to say, but he eats you like a man starved; he had been so long deprived of you that now he needed to relish it, savor it. Something ignited in him, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your thighs as he buried his face there. You knew if he wasn’t holding you steady, your legs would be squeezing against his head. Your hands jump to the back of his head, your nails probably scratching the back of his head, but he gives no sign he minds. In fact he seems to like it; he groans into your core, the vibrations against your sensitive skin making you keen.  

His eyes dart up as you gasp, a challenge and a cockiness in his eyes that sets you on fire. He unwinds one of his arms from your legs, the limb weighted with the signs of that sweet soreness you’ll feel in the morning. You’re about to offer Rex some teasing remark for it, when you feel a thick finger probing at your entrance and your words turn into a moan. 

“Relax, cyar’ika, I’ve got you,” Rex croons as his finger slowly drags in and out of you. He puls it in and out of you, slowly increasing his pace, before adding a second finger in. Your walls cling to his fingers, tightly clenching around them as Rex fingers you. He crooks his finger, finding your g-spot with such a skill and ease; he knows your body so well, knows exactly what to do to make you feel good. 

With only one hand to keep you in place, your squirming has increased; your body acting of its own mind to chase his fingers as they thrust into your pussy. The way his fingers fill you is near perfect, second only to his cock. You can feel the pressure cresting in your body with every stroke of his fingers inside you, your breath leaving you in sighs as your chest begins to heave. He slips another finger in, stuffing you and warming you up for what’s to come and you swear you’re close to seeing the Maker. 

“That’s it, pretty girl,” Rex grunts out, his voice husky with arousal. You can feel his breath on your pussy as he encourages you. “I can feel how close you are. Go on, let go for me.”

He leans in and wraps his lips around your clit, sucking as his fingers stick with their consistent motion against your g-spot. You cry out his name, your body tensing as you climb that peak, finally toppling over with a swipe of his dexterous fingers. Your vision dots white and your voice cracks as your head rolls back. Rex keeps sucking your clit and fingering you as your orgasm washes over you, only slowing when your body relaxes again. 

“How was that?” Rex asks, his smirk telling you he already knew the answer. He pushes himself back up, climbing over you so he could kiss you; you could taste yourself on his lips.

“Hmm could have been bett-oh,” Your teasing reply is cut off by Rex kissing you again, his hand slips to your neck, his fingers clasping around it. He only gives a light pressure, not enough hurt you in any way but enough to remind you who made you feel that good. You can feel his cock, hot and hard against your thigh as his kiss grew more insistent, tongue meeting tongue as your arousal built up again. Rex can’t wait any longer either. 

 “I need you.” He grunts out in between kisses, needy and purposeful. 

“Then take me,” you reply, out of breath, ready to offer him everything you have. 

Rex enters you slowly, his cock stretching you, filling you in the way you craved. Your hands clenched around his biceps, nails digging into his skin as you hissed from the slight pain that came from getting used to him. But maker, it was so worth it. Rex’s muscles were clenched as he held himself back from roughly snapping his hips to yours; he wanted to take you, claim you entirely as his and Maker knows you would willingly let him. But that restraint made those first moments all the more savorful, something to cling to before you lost yourselves.

Rex groans roughly as his cock hilts completely inside you, pressing his forehead against yours. He stills for a moment, breathing heavily as he feels you around him, warm and tight. He loves the feeling of you beneath him trembling with want, loves the way you bite your lips as you try and hold your whimpers inside. His eyes are dark as he looks down at you, taking you in and reading you to judge when you’re ready for him to move.

He fills you so perfectly, you would let him lay here for hours, semi-crushing you with his cock inside you as your cunt squeezes around him. You would have him use you in any way he wanted and you would let him. But now there’s one thing alone you want, you meet his eyes and nod, digging your nails tighter into his skin as you beg, “Move, please Rex .”

You cry in pleasure as he thrusts back and slams his hips back into you so hard you feel him in your gut. You’re still moaning when he thrusts again, just as hard, just as deep.

This wasn’t your soft and tender Rex; you knew he was there, under the hardened layers of a man who had lost everything. This Rex is still kind, still devoted, but he has a need burning through him. A desire to take you and consume you. His grip around you is harsh, his arms squeezing you as they wrap around your torso so hard you half wonder if he could break you. His thrusts near punishing, his cock plunging deep into you. You can’t hold in your moans and cries; and Rex doesn’t want you to. He wants to hear you, needs to know how you fall apart under him, how you call his name, how you beg for him.

“That’s my good girl,” he grits out, his voice so low it sparked a fuse inside you. His eyes flashed as you clenched around him. “Taking me so well. You look so beautiful like this.”

“You feel so good,” you tell him. But there’s a smugness on his face.

“I know, princess,” you swear you could cum right then. He knows what he’s doing to you. He can feel the way your body trembles beneath him, how your legs quake around his waist, how your cunt is leaking with arousal all by what’s he’s doing to you.

You clutch onto him likes he’s your life line, and in a way he is. Everything revolves around him, in a way that fills you with bliss when he’s with you and a way that filled you with dread these last few months without him. You’re still torn under the surface, wanting to cry in joy and sorry over ever emotion running through you at seeing him again but you’ll have time for that later, time to figure out what comes next. Right now, the only thing that matters is he’s here with you.

Every stroke of his cock inside you knocks the air out of you; you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve moaned his name or how many times your name has left his lips like a prayer. His praises for you falling between every thrust, igniting that fire in your gut as he pounds into you.

Rex holds you tighter and you feel like he could snap you in half; his thrusts going faster and faster, his grunts in your ear getting louder. A layer of sweat beads on both your bodies, the smack of your hips meeting is lewd but heavenly.  Your breath is pitching, every time Rex moves his cock hits you in a place so deep as he pushes you closer and closer to ecstasy. He can feel you pulsing around him, hear the way your voice is cracking and he knows you’re about to come.

“Come on mesh’la, that’s it,” Rex orders hoarsely, his voice rugged and tense as he holds himself together for a little bit longer, “come for me.”

You start to see stars as your orgasm hits you. Rex fucks your harder as you come, his breath loud as he chases his own orgasm with you. Your pussy clenches around Rex’s thick cock, milking him dry as he grunts out and spills inside you. You should be embarrassed by how loud you are, knowing there’s no way your neighbors can’t hear you yell Rex’s name but you can’t bother to care. Rex’s thrusts speed up as he empties himself into you, until he presses all the way in once more when he’s done, filling you into most sinfully delightful way as he collapses on top of you.

You both lay there for an immeasurable amount of time; his cock still filling you up, plugging your mixed releases that slowly leak out of you as he softens. His lips are in your neck, softly kissing you as he murmurs his adorations into your skin. Your fingers trace circles on his back, over the scars that litter his body. There are conversations to be had, plans to be made: but nothing else matters in this moment more than having your Rex back, safe with you.

--

Taglist & Rex Hoes (fill out this form on my masterlist if you want to be added!)

@stankferrik @nyravioppri @pinkiemme @fivesarctrooper1 @twistedstitcher27 @frietiemeloen @galacticgraffiti @a-c-lee @ashotofspotchka @itsagrimm @rexandechosandwich @stankferrik @nyravioppri @mavendeb @rain-on-kamino @alwayssnivellus @amyroswell @Sailingthehighseas @lucyysthings @manqoz @lady--kenobi @punkpirate82 @rowansparrow @starstofillmydream @sunshinesdaydream @lucyysthings @hotpinkplastoid @fordo-kixed-rex @ilikemymendarkandfictional @babygirlrex0504 @djarrex @sleepingsun501 @rexxdjarin @fett-djarin

[winniethewife]

I know I'll be alright, But I'm not tonight 

(Commander Cody x F!reader)

Prompt: Remembering

Words: 717

Warnings: Angst, Grief

A/N: For my Event Nine weeks in hell and Angstember

Cody stood in the Negotiator situation room, looking around the empty spaces where his general and friends once stood. What was it all for? Can anything really be solved without bloodshed? He had just returned from his mission on Desix, he felt the sweat drip down his brow as he recalled the moment Crosshair had shot the governor. In all his years of fighting he had never felt shaken like this. He looked around the room again and felt the ever stronger absence of the people he had spent his whole life with. Where was Rex? Where were Fives and Echo? Where were Waxer and Boil? Where was General Kenobi? He knew, He knew they were gone. He felt an awful sinking feeling, the Negotiator was scheduled to be deconstructed and used for new ships in the next few rotations, the last place he had to remember everything he had gone though, every person he had cared about, He sighed deeply as he covered his face with his hand. He wondered what he was supposed to do.

“Cody?” a voice called out from somewhere in the ship, a familiar voice. A flash of memories cross his mind. Late nights doing paperwork together, even later nights drinking at 79’s, early mornings over a cup of caf. He turns to see her. Standing with her imperial officer’s uniform jacket slung over her shoulder and a worried look on her face. “There you are, I’ve been looking for you.”

“Sorry, I…I needed a minute.” Cody rubbed the back of his neck. He tried to seem casual about it but she knew him all too well.

“You’ve been needing a lot of time away lately.” She broached the topic carefully, closing the distance between the two of them. Cody’s shoulders fell in defeat, of course she had noticed. He leans against the Holo-       table in the middle of the room, she quickly followed suit.

“Do you…think we’re doing good things here? Are we making the galaxy better?” He was hoping this time he would get a different answer from her than he got from Crosshair. She let out a defeated sound, her head tilted back so she was looking at the ceiling.

“I don’t know Cody…It’s hard to say. I feel like…I have more questions than I did before, and I feel like the answers I get don’t inspire confidence. I feel like I did more on a daily basis when we were fighting in the war then we do now.” She looks over at him. “But…I really have my doubts.”

“I’m…also having doubts.” Cody said relief coating his words as he tears his gaze from her. “I’m starting to wonder, why this happened. We won the war, but we lost…everything.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. She gently put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

“He’s not dead Cody. They’re still looking for him.” She said softly. Cody looked up suddenly, He knew exactly who she was talking about. The General.

“How? I thought…they must’ve…really?” Cody felt like a weight came off his shoulders but an overwhelming feeling of guilt flooded his mind. He felt like his brain was short circuiting as he tried to find the words.  “I…I’m glad…I know I’m not supposed…I don’t…How am I supposed to feel?” He looked over at her, in his eyes she could see the conflicting emotions he was feeling.

“I don’t know. But I do know how I feel.” She scoots slightly closer to him “I spend my days looking over these reports, Order 66, the Jedi council, I can’t help but wonder…” Her voice trails off. Cody shook his head in disbelief.

“I can’t stay here, I want to make a difference, I want my choices to matter.” He takes her hand in his and squeezes it. She looks at him, and nods giving his hand a gentle squeeze in return. They both knew the rumors that had been circulating, about Clones going AWOL, about where they go. She doesn’t want to say goodbye. She doesn’t want to lose him too, and neither does he.

“We can’t stay here…” She whispered softly. Cody’s eyes lit up.

“So you’ll come with me?” He asked hopefully.

“I’ll go anywhere with you.” She confirms.

“Then let’s go…Anywhere but here.”

~

Masterlist

Taglist: : @silvernight-m @queerponcho @boredzillenial

[chxrryhansen]

Pairing: Sad!Steve rogers x female reader

Summary: Sirius, the brightest yet loneliest star in the galaxy.

Word count: 700

A weak person can always be spotted in a crowd, whether it's the builders on the subway with hands too tired to hold themselves up right on the journey home after a long day of work, or the bags and tear stains under the nurses eyes, concealing each and every secret the brain no longer has the capacity to handle, or the accountants slouched over their desks, faces in the palms of their hands, eyes squinting at the screens infront of them as they turn cloudy. However, the signs are more difficult to spot in those who believe being strong is their only choice.

Steve rogers was deemed as the 'Strongest Avenger' amongst his comrades, although tony would definitely have something to say about that if he was here. Due to his long hundred years of life, it seemed pretty obvious that after all those years of experience and change, most would have given up a long time ago, but not Steve Rogers. Steve had always kept up his golden boy status in public, not even a strand of his blonde, wispy hair out of place or pimple on his soft, creamy skin could take away his shine. He believed if people knew the real him, his reputation would suceed him if they knew the truth hidden behind his brave front.

Steve enjoyed sitting by the ocean, it helped that the cabin they had been hiding away from the world in was a short walk away from the beach. Water had always calmed Steve, he related to it in a way. Like a mirror, it has the ability to shows us what we cannot see in ourselves. The way even the calm and still ocean could turn in almost an instant to crashing waves, seeking destruction, it was almost human. Human like him.

"St-Steve?" Your voice called out, closing in on him.

He gave no response as he sat on the rusted bench amongst the pebbles and sand, staring into the sea. Almost as if he didn't even hear the voice calling his name.

"Steve" You said again, only when he felt your hand on his shoulder, caressing him gently did he turn to look at you. His eyes and nose were red and puffy, tears staining his cheeks. Your heart broke seeing him so distraught.

"Oh, sweetheart" you whispered, as you sat next to him, pulling him into a hug, as he accepted your embrace, his thick arms wrapped around your much smaller frame. His skin was cold and blistering, which was all you needed to understand that he had been out there for far too long.

"I'm so tired" he sobbed into your shoulder, your hair becoming wet with tears. You shushed his cries pulling him impeccably closer than he already was. You sat in silence for a short while, thinking about everything that led up to this moment, everything steve had been through and every decision he made that led to you.

“You know, Sirius is the brightest most beautiful star in the entire galaxy, yet the furthest from any connection to other life forms, deeming it the loneliest star to have ever existed” you whispered gently as he slowly looked up from your shoulder, his vision still clouded from the liquid drops of salted sadness.

“You don’t have to be alone anymore” you said gently. “I’ll always be here for you steve, no matter what happens, no matter how far from each other we end up, just look up to the night sky and you’ll find me.”

“I love you” he sputtered, his azure gaze blazing in admiration. “And i love you, forever and always” you repeated back, using your thumb to wipe his tears, caressing his milky skin. Kissing his soft lips faintly. Your other hand massaging his blonde locks as he curled into you.

The blue sky now turned black watched over you as you held each other, the pale moon shined down almost replenishing the light that had previously been lost. “We’re going to be okay, as long as i have you, and you have me, nothing in this godforsaken world can hurt us.”

AAH! my first ever fic! what do you guys think?!🥺 any feedback would be much appreciated whether its negative or positive!💞 please reblog and comment! Much love, cherry🍒❤️

[vodika-vibes]

What if I tell you midnight in spring with topaz love... and the 1st clone that has come to your mind as read this? (Like a freebie, maybe? 👉👈)

Midnight Love

Summary: Colt isn’t used to not being on Kamino. But when he agrees to visit your homeworld with you, you insist on showing him your favorite part of your planet.

Pairing: Commander Colt x Reader

Word Count: 557

Warnings: None

Prompt: Topaz - Affectionate Love

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: I chose Colt. Why? I dunno, I have him on the brain for some reason, so I'm happy to have the chance to write him!

“Cyare,” Colt sounds tired, though he seems more than happy to keep up with you, hand fingers threaded with your own as you lead him down the winding paths of the forest behind your family home, “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see~” You reply in a sing-song voice, throwing a fond smile over your shoulder at him, “You’ll like it, I promise.”

“You wanna know what I really like? Sleep. Especially when you’re pressed right against me with your legs tangled with mine like you can’t get close enough.” Colt counters.

“Aww, you’re sweet.” You stop walking just long enough to press yourself into his arms and press your lips against his, “I really like that too, especially since no one will yell at us for it here.”

He frowns, “Cyar-” Colt’s cut off when you lightly press your finger against his lips.

“I promise you’ll like it, Colt. Trust me?”

His severe gaze softens and he gently pulls your finger away from his lips, only to press a light, lingering kiss against your knuckles, “Cyare, I’d follow you into hell if you asked.”

You smile at him, all soft and warm and loving, “Well, it’s nothing quite that dramatic, Colt.” You lightly trail your fingers against his jaw, momentarily distracted from your destination as you remembered that this handsome man chose you.

He chuckles and leans in to brush his lips against yours, “You’re getting distracted again, beautiful.”

“You dazzle me,” You say honestly.

“Dazzle, hm?” He kisses you again and again, “Not enough to convince you to let me sleep.” He teases.

You giggle, “It’s not much further, I promise.”

“Very well then, lead the way.”

You take his hand one more time, and lead him a little further down the path, and then off the beaten path. You lead him under a fallen tree and around a large boulder, and then you stop on the edge of a field, “Here. Look!”

Colt follows where you're pointing, and he pauses. There, at the edge of the field, is a small herd of glowing…something. They almost look like deer, aside from the fact that there’s something almost ethereal about them.

“They can only be found at midnight at this time of year,” You say as you wrap your arms around him, “And they’re largely a secret from the rest of the galaxy. Aren’t they pretty?”

Colt stares at them for a moment, and then turns his attention to you, a small grin playing on his lips, “They’re alright.”

“Just alright?” You ask, stunned.

“Mm, well, when compared to you-”

Your face burns, and you press your hands over your cheeks, “I’m just a normal person, though-”

“Stunning. Resplendent even.” Colt lists, as he backs you against a tree, “And you, you clever little thing, managed to get us somewhere totally private. And away from your family.” He folds his arms over your head, pressing into your space.

“Well…that is an unintended benefit, I suppose.” You admit as you look up at him.

Colt chuckles and leans in to press his lips against yours, “Suddenly, cyar’ika, I’m not tired anymore. Won’t you help exhaust me?”

You giggle softly, shyly almost, and look up at him from under lowered lashes, “I’d love to.”

And then his lips are heavy against yours, and nothing else matters at that moment.

[mama-qwerty]

WIP Wednesday

Today's offering is one of the half dozen or so wips I have started, but haven't had the brainpower to get back to. This one was inspired by one of @guardian-of-da-gay's Whumptober fics. (This one, I believe.)

I'm not necessarily a whump enjoyer--hurt without comfort feels so half-finished--but I do love my Knuckles angst, so there ya go.

This takes place in my Knuckles MacPherson au.

~~~~~

Pain.

It wasn’t the first time Knuckles had woken with his body screaming at him, stiff and sore and eyes clenched tight at his throbbing head. He was the Most Dangerous Warrior in the Galaxy, after all. It came with the territory. Sometimes a challenger put up more of a fight than he was expecting, and it knocked him off-kilter for a bit. No matter, he’d take down this opponent, just as soon as his head stopping spinning.

Wait.

The sounds that came to his ears now weren’t the cheers and taunts of the arena crowds. There were no growls or boasts from his opponent, no announcers over the loudspeakers analyzing his chances, or theorizing his chances of survival. (“Has the mighty echidna warrior finally met his match, folks? Will we see a new champion today?”)

An unwelcome chill ran through him at the memory of those words, and his body shook, alerting him to two things; thing number one, he was in a helluva lot more pain than he originally realized, and thing number two, he couldn’t move.

Panic overtook him, and his eyes snapped open, bringing a grunt of pain from his constricted chest. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, and he blinked a few times. Was he blind as well??

No. It took another moment, one in which he tried very, very hard not to panic further, but he became aware of visual input. Not much, the light was dim, and when he let out a huff he felt it push back against his face.

Trapped.

But where? How?

This was no cage. By the time he’d hit puberty, his strength and power had fully materialized, and the only way to hold him became highly electrified restraints. Those were painful to both his skin, and his mind. Electricity made it feel as though his brain were vibrating, the higher the voltage, the worse it was.

But there was no electricity here. His mind was fuzzy, frizzed at the edges and seeming to want to pull him back into unconsciousness. He wouldn’t let it. His stomach lurched as a dizziness came over him for a moment, and he closed his eyes again to ride it out.

This happened every now and then. An opponent would get a good swipe at him, and make him feel dizzy and unfocused for a moment, but he’d push through it and continue to fight. He’d had to. The battle wouldn’t end simply because he’d gotten a headache.

When he was sure the dizzy spell had passed, Knuckles opened his eyes again and tried to work out where he was. Something hard and heavy pressed against both chest and back, he couldn’t draw a deep breath. A small patch of light was above him, and he carefully shifted his head until he could look up. A hole, barely a tiny crack, let in sunlight.

Okay. It was daytime. He listened to the sounds that filtered in with the light through that crack. Birds chirping. Wind rustling through leaves.

Where was he?

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

It's just a nightmare

It's a stupid thing that triggers it. A stupid, STUPID thing. And of course it is Corin's fault.

He's making dinner and gets distracted by Grogu. He completely forgets about the food until the stench of burning meat reaches his nose and reminds him with a jolt. Running back into the kitchen, Corin grabs the frying pan and mindlessly yanks it away from the heat. The intense smell of the charred remains hits him hard, makes forgotten memories stir, and causes him to abruptly drop the pan into the sink. The loud sound of metal slamming into metal combined with Din unexpectedly barging into the kitchen rather noisily to find the source of the fire makes Corin's entire body freeze. His brain lights up with blind panic for several seconds.

“Corin?” Din calls out for him, almost a little cautiously, as he takes a step closer. “Corin, are you okay?”

His heart is racing as if he's in some kind of horrible danger, which makes no kind of sense. Corin gulps for air. “I'm fine.” He mumbles, trying to pull himself together. He's acting like an idiot. “I, uh, I...” Corin clears his throat. “I burned dinner. Sorry.”

“I wasn't hungry anyway.” Din half-heartedly jokes, inching closer like he's approaching a skittish animal. “You didn't get burned, though, right?”

Corin swallows, slowly regaining control of his body again in time for him to lift his hand and look down to see the red skin where he'd held the pan. A bit of bad luck. “Nothing a little bacta can't fix.”

Din takes a hold of his hand, studies the damage done, and sighs.

A worried coo reveals the presence of the little bean. He's standing in the doorway, looking over at them with concern all over his adorable face.

“I'll fix him up, Grogu.” Din replies. “I'll look after him, I promise.”

Corin swallows down a wave of nausea. That smell... “I'm...” That smell and some loud sounds shouldn't be enough to reduce him like this. He should be stronger than this. “I'm fine.” “Yeah. I know.” Din doesn't sound convinced. He just sounds sad.

That should have been the end of it. The bacta heals Corin's hand and Din manages to make dinner that isn't set ablaze and tastes really good. Corin cuddles and rocks the little bean into a peaceful sleep. It's a stupid moment caused by his own stupid negligence, harmless and forgotten by the time Corin crawls into bed, settles on his side and Din wraps his arms around him from behind. They fall asleep curled up together. It makes absolutely no sense why, instead of sweet dreams, a horrible nightmare rages through Corin's brain, filling him with screams and blood and shadows, until he jolts awake with a gasp and his heart now racing so fast it physically hurts.

“Corin?” Din whispers from behind him.

“I'm fine.” Corin forces the words out between numb lips. He's still curled up on his side with Din behind him, which is good because that means Din can't see his face. Corin already ruined dinner today, he's not going to ruin Din's sleep as well. It was just a nightmare, after all. Not memories. Just a nightmare. There was nothing familiar about it. Just random horror. A nightmare. Bad luck. “Did I wake you? Sorry. Go back to sleep.”

“You're safe.” Din tells him instead of asking him anything. There is a light touch to Corin's shoulder. “You're here, with me, with us. You're safe, Corin.”

Corin nods, a jerky and too eager movement. “I know. I'm fine. I'm sorry.” Or, he will be fine. His heart just needs to stop racing like crazy and the dread needs to uncoil from his belly. It will pass because it always does. He's had countless nightmares before after all. It's just a nightmare.

Din strokes Corin's arm in a soothing gesture. “You're safe.” He repeats rather than contradicting Corin's words. He doesn't sound angry or annoyed, proving yet again he's among the kindest souls in the Galaxy. “Everything is okay, I promise you. You're safe now.”

Eventually Corin's breathing returns to normal and his heart calms too under Din's gentle touch and words. He tries to keep as quiet and as still as possible so not to disturb Din any more that night. Din needs his rest. But despite knowing it was just a bad dream, Corin can't get himself to close his eyes and go back to sleep. He's haunted by some irrational dread that the nightmare might start up again. There are outlines of screams removed from his brain, voices he tells himself are random or made up, and then there is that damn smell... It's been over half a day since he burned the food and yet Corin swears the smell still lingers in his nose. He stares into the darkness of their bedroom.

A couple of minutes later, Din breaks the silence with a quiet question; “Do you want to back to sleep?”

Corin hesitates. He doesn't want to make Din worry, but he simply cannot lie to him. “No.” He whispers apologetically, knowing this means Din won't sleep either because he is that good of a man.

��Okay.” Din says, still without a trace of anger or irritation. He sits up and gets out of bed, reaching out a hand towards Corin. “Come on.”

Sitting up, Corin frowns confused. “What?”

“Come.” Din wiggles his fingers and when Corin takes it, he makes him leave the bed and follow him out of the room.

“Din?” Corin asks, increasingly confused as he trails after his Mandalorian.

“I'm making you some warm tea.” Din says, with ease, as if it no big deal to do this in the middle of the night because your partner is a weak creature who can't even get sleeping right.

However, not even guilt and self-loathing stand a chance against the feelings Din brings out in him when they sit on opposite sides in the widow sill of the warm living room and look out the window. Outside they can barely make out the snowflakes, quietly falling amidst the calm darkness, while steam rises from the cup between Corin's hands. No words are spoken. Din doesn't ask him about the nightmare or try to distract him with other topics, merely sits with him in silence with nothing but their ankles touching as the sill isn't really made to fit two grown men.

Corin's gaze shifts from the snow falling outside the window over to rest on Din and his heart glows with how much he loves this man. Din is so kind, patient and selfless that not even bad luck stands a chance against him. Deprived of his sleep, Din should be annoyed, he has every right to be, but he's not. He seems perfectly content to just sit there with him, in serene silence, watching the snow fall.

And that is how, long after the tea is gone, Corin finally relaxes, the phantom smell goes away, and his eyelids grow heavy. So very heavy.

“Back to bed?” Din asks, his voice a quiet, warm caress.

Corin manages a drowsy smile and nods. He can sleep now.

“Okay.” Din gets up and surprises him yet again by backing up to him and crouching down a little. “Hop on.”

Even if he wasn't half-asleep, Corin suspects he would have been every bit as confused. Is Din seriously offering him a piggyback ride? His lips tug at a smile. “Din...” It's Corin's brain that is messed up, there's nothing wrong with his legs.

“I would carry you back bridal style, but you're heavy and I'm too tired.” Din says with a slight grin in his words.

Corin huffs a laugh. “I can walk, Din.”

“I know you can.” Din replies, but doesn't straighten up. “Now, jump on.”

Corin hesitates, as usual, torn between not wanting to burden Din further, quite literally, and the childish urge to accept the offer. He remembers when Din had carried him on his back at the Covert and how surprised he had been at meeting Din's more playful side. He really loves that side of him.

It's silly, they're too old to be acting like this, yet... Corin fights against a smile as he does as Din asks. “Don't blame me if you ruin your back.”

“You're not 'that' heavy.” Din snorts, hoisting him a little and getting a good grip on Corin's thighs with his capable hands.

Corin grins and slides his arms around him, partially to hold on and partially to simply hug him. Corin 'is' heavy, he's far from Liita-sized, but Din is strong, in so many ways, which is probably why Din carries him, physically and more, without any problem. Corin rests his cheek to Din's shoulder and smiles.

Maybe one day Corin will be able to face the root of the nightmares, maybe one day he'll be able to tell Din about them, but right now he convinces himself it was nothing but made up horrors from his stupid brain and savors Din's warm, solid presence and knows he's safe.

There are no more bad dreams that night.

[enoughslices]

Hey so I read your post about Mulder respecting Scully saying they can never be together and you totally cracked my brain open?? When people say that, they might just mean it in the moment but not forever... and they don't clarify this if they change their mind?? I'm rethinking so many things right now lol

Obviously I know each person is different but it was never phrased this way to me and now I'm just sitting here with galaxy brain

This is something I have come up against the hard way in my real life, where all through my childhood and adolescence people continually told me I was, "taking things too literally," and I was like, "... ... ... How else am I supposed to take them?? Should I not take you at your word?" I had a number of situations (like in relationships or friendships) where someone would declare something and I would just accept it and never revisit it, and then later find they were frustrated with me for assuming a statement they'd made two years ago was still true since they had not modified it. I used to do performance-related work and my one colleague who really got me (we love a work wife) would have to explain to directors that if I was told to do something a certain way I would just keep doing it that way and not try anything new until they revised their instruction. I was baffled to learn that the expectation in rehearsals was that I keep trying new things even when I had been explicitly told to do it one way. Or, worse, intuit when they wanted me to keep trying new things in the face of the instruction and when they didn't. It stressed me out so much. I always felt a little betrayed when someone said one thing very emphatically and firmly ("We can't ever get back together," or "I'm never going to do that again.") and then did indeed do or want to do the thing again days or weeks or months or years later (especially without clarifying or explaining). I've had to work really hard on finding respectful ways to not make assumptions even when I feel like something has been communicated clearly to me and get in the habit of raising things periodically from a place of open curiosity to see if people are still in the same place, because not everyone is as precise or literal when they're speaking about things, especially if they're coming from a place of emotion in the moment. I don't know for sure that I'm autistic, but I do know that I'm neurodivergent. I have cPTSD and was also late-diagnosed with ADHD at 36 and have MCAS, which also can impact how your brain works, so diagnosis is a little complicated. I suspect that I'm AuDHD (autistic and ADHD) and I have an evaluation scheduled for this year. Seeing and hearing about people's neurodivergent experiences on TikTok and other corners of the internet has helped me recontextualize a lot of parts of my experience and has illuminated corners I had not even realized were dark. It's made so many things fall into place that have made me go, "Oh. Wait. Fuck! Really??" But also there's a certain relief in having things make sense that never did before, even though it's been absolutely wild to identify my (many, many 😅) blind spots. In conclusion: Me 🤝 Mulder in this headcanon lol I'm sorry to crack your brain open and I hope the light flooding in is not too overwhelming!! Being a person is a trip sometimes! Feel free to DM me if you want to spiral about this together! PS: Obligatory disclaimer that people have a wide variety of different experiences and feeling this way or relating to this is not necessarily an indicator of autism, which I don't even know for sure that I have! I am just over here projecting onto my blorbos on the hellsite, as glob intended 😂😂

[freesia-writes]

Chapter 21: Unveil

···

During the Clone Wars, the Bad Batch is tasked with a variety of missions across the galaxy. An unexpected addition to their team throws a wrench in the mix, particularly for Tech, who finds a particular connection with this disillusioned Padawan-turned-mechanic named Vel throughout the events in this action-adventure romance. COVER ART BY @zaana!!

Master List of Chapters

Author's Note -- this is a short one. I'm sorry. ;) A new arc begins tomorrow! And we've got some competition... some mystery... some joyful reunion... and some angst... nomnomnom

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Vel woke up in a stark, grey room, on a plain bed surrounded by monitors and tubes. She blinked a few times, trying to remember the events leading up to that point, when she realized the strangest sensations. Her whole spine felt tingly, almost as if it were made of bacta gel. She flexed her fingers, then tried to wiggle her toes, and the total lack of sensation below her waist made her gasp aloud.

"Ah, you're awake," came the most soothing voice she could have imagined at that moment. Tech was seated next to her bed, a couple old books and a datapad on the table next to him, as well as an assortment of ration bars, wrappers, and food scraps. He looked slightly disheveled, though much more like his usual self in his standard armor.

"You probably want an update. We completed the mission while you were passed out. I was able to install the program in the lab's central system and we left without a trace. We left some rumors with a few locals about Terrik's dishonest dealings with the wrong sort of people, and apparently his bad luck had caught up to him. At least that is what they all believed. Wrecker considered the mission a success, and I suppose we did complete our primary objective, but --"

"Tech," Vel interrupted, confused and feeling a panic begin to rise, "Why can't I feel my legs? I feel like my whole back is on fire, or ice, or something."

"Oh, that," Tech said, lowering his eyes to her prone form under the covers, "Your lumbar vertebrae were hit by Terrik's shot, resulting in paralysis from the point of trauma downward. However, we were able to get you to the medical bay of the Tantive IV as it was on a nearby diplomatic mission. The surgeons on board are proficient bone fusers and were able to reconstruct your spinal column with a couple small cybernetic implants, but the nerve damage will take some time to heal."

"So I'm stuck like this? For how long?" Vel asked, eyes glistening. The exhaustion, stress, and confusion were overwhelming, and she fought back tears with rapid blinks.

"I am not certain," Tech responded evenly, noticing her distress. He racked his brain for the most likely sources of comfort, opting for one that seemed the most natural. "It is most likely that you will be able to walk again in the near future. The timeline is impossible to estimate at this point."

Vel closed her eyes, wishing she could escape the sensation of electricity running up and down her body. She even thought she felt it in her legs, but that seemed impossible. Sleep felt tantalizingly inviting, even though she'd just woken up. Maybe just a short rest, to process it all... She felt a warm, gentle hand take hers and looked up to see Tech standing over her with as much of an empathetic expression as he could muster.

"Does this make you feel better?" he asked earnestly. "I am sorry for the incredibly unfortunate events you have endured. Broken bones are never ideal, and when the spinal cord is involved..." He trailed off, caught by the intensity of her gaze. "Would you like me to stop?"

"No," she said softly, bringing her other hand over to rest on top of his. "I'm glad you're here." Without her permission, her eyes lowered slowly, and she drifted off. Tech remained for a moment, watching her thoughtfully, before releasing her hand and returning to his seat.

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[abbonation]

Lost Apprentice, Chapter III: Rinse and Repeat

Let's give this another try.

Explicit 18+ content ~2.2k words

A/N: I'm enjoying writing this so much, especially since the establishing characters BS is mostly out of the way, lemme tell you I ain't good at that :D

CWs: male masturbation; female masturbation; mutual masturbation

Chapter III: Rinse and Repeat

So he left you there. A blubbering, turned on, confused mess. After a couple minutes you were able to slap yourself out of it, shrug on your backpack, grab your bigger duffel bag, and stumble your way out of the Crest, waiting for the ramp to close and lock before heading off. You turn to home sweet Obroa-Skai, and shield your eyes from the warm morning sun, what the actual fuck running through your brain the whole time. 

You can’t even really be excited to see the grocer as you pass by his store, only managing a small smile and wave to the elderly man before continuing through the little town you call home. 

You trek down the worn stone pathway of town until they blend into more broken gravel pieces as you make your way home. From around the corner you see the outline of your small duplex, its faded brick and mossy exterior the most beautiful sight you’ve beheld in some time. You touch your hand to the cool brick of your home when you step onto the porch, hoping that, for the moment, your elderly neighbor won’t notice your return.

Upon entering you drop your bags and try to avoid the slight burn that being alone in your house makes you feel. Avoid that twinge of fear that not having Mando by your side sparks.

You throw yourself onto the bed, letting the stale sheets envelope you, daylight filtering in through your curtains. You wish there was a way to reach him, to at least let him know you had made it home. Where would he go once he caught that bounty? And how long would it take? 

You turned on a show to drown your thoughts as you put on fresh sheets and fluff your pillows back to life. After a few blissful moments of peace, you take that shower you had been dreaming of for a month, taking the time to scrub each part of your body thoroughly, letting the hot water steam you like a crustacean. 

Your mind wanders as you wash, to the moments you shared with Mando in the bath house, wondering what it would be like if he had had his way with you on the Crest. Would things finally come to head after these years, his lingering touches and possessive behavior had always led you to believe that he wanted you as much as you wanted him, but after the events the night prior took place you were certain. You just wondered if the timing was right.

—

For the next few days, life began returning to normal. You went back to work and spent the day getting caught up on drama and files from your time away. Did Suvo finally get in trouble for taking too long on their break? You’d been absolutely dying to know during your time away. 

On your walk home you went to the general store and gave Orron, the grocer, a proper hello, while picking up fresh food for your house. 

“How was your time among the stars, dear?” His raspy voice reminds you of your grandfathers, the way he just seemed wise without even trying. 

“It was- something,” You try to keep positive about your adventure, knowing how excited you had been before leaving. “I really enjoyed getting to explore.”

“You ought to go again. One only gets so many chances to take a free trip around the galaxy with an attractive young man, you know.”

You laugh at him as you browse the fruits, picking out a bundle of deep red berries and placing them into your almost overflowing basket. 

“I dunno Orr, I’m torn y’know.”

“Torn over what? Leaving right now or waiting to live here your whole life dreaming of what coulda been?” He gestures out in front of him with his hands and you nod in affirmation. He was right. The alternative wasn’t that appealing.

—

Today you stand at your workbench, dusting off a sample of stone you’d brought back from the site on Eriadu. It was certainly old, and dense. That much was certain. You’d picked the piece off from the ground by the monument and tucked it away in a cloth within your pack. If the site didn’t have a direct map to Mando’s son, then maybe the people who built the thing could give you a clue. 

You spent the day researching the history of Jedi and their temples, what little information was available on them, and pieced together that this artifact must be of theirs. In which case, it really should be returned to the temple, but alas, you had promised yourself to never go back to that forsaken jungle.

The stone’s age suggested that the temple had been built hundreds, if not a thousand years ago, thus it was probably just a stepping stone to locating Grogu.

—

Your walk home is a quiet one, the evening sun casting a pink light over everything. The knock comes just as you were about to turn on an audio show for your bath. Somehow you’re certain it’s him. You exhale, unsure of what’s about to happen, positive that it’s a moment you’ll keep forever no matter what.

You pull open the door, and he stands, stiff, unmoving. “Hey,” your voice sounds timid, and gruff. 

He steps over the threshold into your apartment when you motion him inside. Now, in the middle of your living room he comes to you, he immediately moves his hand to cup the bowl of your skull, hugging you to him.

“Hey yourself.” He puffs out.

You smile to yourself, you had thought this would happen once he made his return, you run your palms up his biceps to rest behind his neck and he groans, his head falling to your shoulder. “Where were you?” It sounds too desperate, like a plea. 

“I’m sorry, I- I had to, please forgive me.” Now he’s the desperate one. It’s hot in here and this is all going too fast, spinning out of control.

You move your hand down to his chest and push back, separating yourself. “I know. Listen, I’m not angry, I just, we just left things in a weird spot.”

He nods. Silence overtakes you both. 

“I was about to take a bath.” You want this to happen, to show him this is what you want.

“Oh, I can-“ he steps back, as if to leave.

“I want you to watch.” It comes out at the same time he steps back and at once the energy in the room is instantaneously different charged with an unnamed energy. 

“You want me to- to watch you?” His voice is deep, like when he’s just finished beating the life out of someone. He trips over his words, it sets you alight. He steps towards you, a predator stalking his prey. You step backwards towards your fresher door, feeling for the way to your tub, staring him down all the while. 

“Sit down. Right there.” You point to the edge of the bathtub, you had a towel laid out for yourself but now he rests on it. He immediately follows your instruction, and a part of you twitches in anticipation of what’s to come.

The first thing to go is your big t-shirt that advertises Gahoxz’s Bar, across town. He shifts in his spot.

“Don’t move now, be good for me.” He nods, you can hear his breath through the modulator on his helmet.

You reach behind yourself, and unclasp your band, pulling each shoulder strap down before revealing your chest to him, he rolls his hips up into his pants, and balls his fists at his sides. You smile at him and meet your gaze in the mirror above the sink, you look unhinged, blown out pupils and messed up hair. 

You unbuckle your belt and pants button, they fall from your waist, over your stomach and thighs to the ground. Just your underwear now. Even though they’re nothing fancy, Mando’s on the edge of the tub, leaning towards you, his hands dangerously close to where his hard cock is outlined in his pants. You slip them down over your tummy as well, and step out of your clothes towards the bath. It feels electric within your small refresher, you imagine the sweat curling up the baby hairs on his head. 

“Now I’m gonna get in, and you’re gonna follow my instructions, understand?” 

“Yes, okay,” he groans out nodding. 

“Good,” You step towards him and he shifts to watch your naked profile slip down into the bubbles of the tub. You moan at the warm water enveloping you and he grinds into the air again, desperate boy. 

“Mando, I want you to touch yourself.” He moans outright at that, wasting no time placing his hands, still gloved, over his clothed erection and running up the hard line of himself. 

“I said I want you to touch yourself.” You bring a hand between your thighs, and up to your belly. 

“I- fuck- I am-“ he’s working hard to remain stoic, you’ll give him that. 

“Take your gloves off,” you say to him, “If I’m gonna be naked you have to give me something.” 

So he does, carefully removing and placing his leather gloves on your countertop and rubbing his palms over his thick thighs.

“Now I want you to unbutton your pants, and get your cock out.” You bring a hand up to your nipples, rubbing over each one to pucker them and caressing your throat. He groans at the site of you touching yourself, he hesitates, but moves to the top of his pants anyway. 

“You’re so pretty,” The button pops and his fly unzips, you’re silent while you watch as he works to free his cock. The massive thing is tanned and heavy, springing free before he pulls his balls out too, tanned hands and tan dick on the stark background of his gear. 

You gulp and groan, spreading your thighs, moving your hand down between them. Rubbing the hood of your clit and reveling in the way the electricity moves through your limbs.

He slightly lifts just the bottom of his helmet, spitting into his palm and harshly gripping his cock, he starts stroking up and down to the same beat you set with your hand and hips. You watch as his helmet falls back against the wall of your shower, “Oh fuck, baby.” He moves to rub just the head now; he cups it in his right hand and grabs the base with his left, using both fists to stroke his length. You pull your other hand up to your mouth, sticking two fingers onto your tongue. 

“Jesus, you wanna suck my cock, honey? Fuck.” He’s thrusting into his hand now, and that switch starts to slip again, you feel powerless at the helm of him. He’s fucking huge and intimidating sitting over you and fucking himself to the sight of your naked body.

He’s harsh with it, almost like he’s punishing himself. You fuck yourself shamelessly on your fingers now, just like that night on the crest, and you moan remembering how he wanted you then too. 

“Fuck Mando I gotta tell you something,” 

“What?” He sits up now, still stroking himself and staring through the visor, burning his gaze into your eyes. 

“I, I  heard you that night on the crest and- fuck- I touched myself then too,” you’re getting close now, “I’m sorry, I just-“

“Ah- fuck,” he moans at your admission, reaching out his free hand to hold your chin while he beats off. 

“You fucking, ngh, fucking jacked off to me?” He’s close too. 

“Fuck yes, it was so hot Mando, hearing your sounds,” you stick out your tongue and move to lick his thumb, sucking the whole of it into your mouth.

The sloshing sounds of the water flood your ears while you fill yourself with fingers you know are so much smaller than his, he’s honed in on your mouth, moaning each time you move your mouth down the length of his finger.

“Oh god,” he huffs out, moving his hand from your chin down to his balls, holding them and speeding up his stroke when you move to lick the very head of him. He can’t help but thrust into the air, you tongue just the tip inching closer and closer to the release you’d been waiting days for.

“Mmm baby I’m gonna come.” You start to clench and flutter around your fingers, moving your head back; 

“Fuck–” he rasps, his head erupts, he pulls away and drips out onto your tits, over his knuckles and down into your bath water. Moaning and groaning loudly the whole time. “Oh fuck, fuck me.” He releases himself, shaking and falls gracelessly back to the shower wall. 

“Fuck me is right”, you lean back onto the other side of the bath, looking up at the ceiling.

He leans over to your pile of towels and grabs the wash cloth, dipping into your water before wiping and tucking himself away. He falls to his knees beside you and drags the cloth, under the water, to your cunt, washing you off too. It’s too tender for what this is, yet. You flinch at the sensitivity and he pulls away, cradling your head once again. 

“Is that a yes then?” He sounds like he’s smiling behind his mask.

“Sure is.” You beam back at him.

[goldeneyedgirl]

can't believe my dumb ass misunderstanding the hybrid jasper thing and the fact that you were talking about vampire jasper in the og hybrid universe actually resulted in such a beautiful thing thanks a lot to your galaxy brain and i'm sorry but now i'm one more anon disturbing you til death to have more of this concept !!!!!!!!!!

No, Anon. You gifted me with your galaxybrain thoughts. This concept has eaten away at me. I love fucking with the dynamic between Alice and Jasper, and the idea that he's some fucked up, mutated version of a hybrid because Maria crossed his path will feed me for a long time. 

I'm still fiddling with how I want to approach this - there's the 'rewriting the canon story beats'. Or there's more of a Jasper-version of Hybrid which is... tempting. I could have fun with that. 

But for now, here's some more from the ficmas version!

He wants to trust Alice.

But it’s hard. Nothing good has ever come from trusting a vampire. Or a woman.

Everything about her seems to be designed to lure him in - her big eyes, the sweet and hopeful smile on her face, the way she fusses with her gloves and hat and shoes. She smells like good things, safe things that feel like he dreamed them once. He really does want to trust her.

But he can’t.

The room that she’s rented for them is small but clean and warm. He wasn’t expecting that. Or the fact there’s a weather-beaten suitcase with clothing for him on the bed.

“It was easier to tell the landlady that you were my husband,” Alice says apologetically, as she takes off her coat and hangs it up. “If we’d traveled as siblings, more questions would have been asked.” There’s a tarnished brass ring, held on with a slip of paper, on her left hand that she slips off and into thin air. “She has assumed you were a soldier, which will work in our favor.”

He nods dumbly. Cover stories are nothing new, and this one is sturdy. But it makes him feel like he’s caught in a net and he can’t get free if everything turns sour with all the details already figured out for him. He wishes he knew if he could trust her.

Alice watches him for a moment, and she looks almost sad before she gestures to the suitcase. “Take what you need - the washroom is at the end of the hall. If… if I fetch you some food, will you eat?”She sounds oddly tentative making that offer but he nods. He’s not sure what he will eat - he existed on human blood for so long that human food only does so much; it is essentially medicinal, to keep him healthy and functioning. He can go for weeks, if not months, without much more than a few mouthfuls of water but it will take its toll.

But the blood… the blood he needs to stay in control.

In the washroom, he finds the case is very precisely packed - two outfits for him, all in dark colours and folded neatly, along with a comb and a razor. Soap and towels are provided in the washroom, thankfully. She’s even found him a set of pajamas that smell like soap flakes and dust. But underneath his things is a filmy pink scarf, separating another layer of clothing, and he cannot help but peel it back to see what else is packed in this suitcase.

There’s a threadbare yellow dress with mismatched buttons; a grey sweater that looks miles too big for Alice; a beige slip with a torn strap hastily pinned; a little pouch with an ancient-looking hairbrush, a dirty lipstick, and a brown leather notebook tied closed with some ribbon.

The notebook looks as old as he is, and he feels oddly guilty as he reaches for it. But he opens it and… maybe he can trust her.

The first few pages are letters. Unsteady and uneven, in a small, cramped hand; practicing over and over again until the letters become words. Mostly ‘Alice’ and ‘Jasper’ and ‘Cullen’. Leaning to write until it looks like the hand of someone her age and not someone who seems to have taught themselves.

And then little drawings - he’s stunned to see himself in many of them, drawings the size of postage stamps so as not to run out of pages.

A few sketches of clothing - dresses and coats and shirts. Lists of items, as if her memory cannot retain things. And then, almost in the middle of the book, it becomes … it becomes something he feels like he shouldn’t have seen. Notes on him, for him. Things to remember, things to know. Things that her funny gift has seen.

Can’t get cold or wet.

Doesn’t like milk.

Sleeps!

Pages and pages of notes to herself about him. And instead of being creeping and unnerving, like being watched in the dark, he found it… sweet and endearing, a clumsy gesture of goodwill.

She wasn’t lying when she said that she had been looking for him, waiting for him.

When he goes to put her things back in order, hoping that she won’t realize he intentionally looked through them and just messed them up pulling his own things out, he finds a dirty bit of cloth. There’s mud and old blood on it, and he pulls it out to see exactly why Alice has kept it.

It’s a torn, dirty garment. Not a dress or a shirt, but shapeless. The blood runs down the left side - a distinct pattern. He doesn’t need the lingering scent of venom to identify it, not with the blood splatter the way it is.

This was the garment she died in.

[13docwriting]

So I'll start with the fact that I am, indeed, a fan of Chibnall's era. I am an even bigger fan of the 13th Doctor. I'll also start with the fact that I quite literally grew up with RTD's writing and loved Ten with all my heart. But now I am an adult and some of RTD's writing has left me a bit scared. Here's my "live streaming" review on The Star Beast. SPOILERS BELOW!

I'm going in order of how I processed things, so it's gonna be chaotic. My first essay is this: You know why this post is so long? It's because we're not livestreaming things anymore. I'm not immediately with other fans in real time, typing out our little posts. I'm quite literally doing this at my leisure. I'll miss watching DW live. Now then, in order! 1. The music? Ten out of ten. I have always loved Gold's compositions and he did not let us down. And this opinion is only being generated from the new(er) theme song. Which leads me to...

2. Look at the B U D G E T. Even the opening credits has a budget that you can just FEEL. Those stars/galaxies? Very nice... And then I have to chuckle over the low level lighting / 2000s era effects of David Tennant's full profile voiceover of Donna and his story.

3. Him taking the boxes, seeing Donna's face, and slowly putting the boxes back is an RTD special and I LOVE that kind of comedy. It just makes me chuckle. And then him having a full blown panic over hearing Donna shout "Rose!" which... 4. Having these little call back moments feels rather bitter since we're calling this a reboot of the show. UNLESS the reboot is when Nucti starts up? But the fact that I'm confused just shows how bitter I should be. Again, my Chibnall love is showing. I don't believe in yet another reboot for DW, but that's a marketing thing over anything else... I hope. 5. I'm glad the 2000s Rose/Doctor shipping era lives strong through the name Rose. I know those fans are going to be happy and they deserve it. 6. NOW... Donna having a family. Okay. I'll have a separate post but... Does anyone else think that Donna having a husband just doesn't fit for her? Especially with her memories erased? Idk, I just never envisioned Donna getting married after the whole Lance thing. BUT I'm glad she's happy and the husband seems so nice. 7. Donna giving up that lottery money? Also strange considering she lost her memories. The first time we meet Donna we get this feeling that she's a bit shallow, which makes sense because she has to develop as a character. That was her character development so here KEEPING the money would have made more sense here. Which...

8. Rose. That's all. She's great!

9. Hey, can't help but notice, but when did the 14th Doctor have time to make a new screwdriver, huh? What gives? AND - AND there's not a single hint of 13's sonic on there. HMM. What the heck!

10. FORGOT SOMETHING. Whatever the line was "that says mistress" "Oh, catch up, will you?" I don't know how to take in this scene quite yet, but it's making me pause. It felt... Off kilter. Maybe cause I love 13 so much, I don't know. There's always callbacks to other faces when the Doctor first regenerations, but this felt... Wrong? Also, TEE HEE my mind went to Missy IMMEDIATELY and I love that little connection my fic writing brain is going wild.

11. WHY DOES UNIT HAVE SO MUCH MONEY???? Look at this uniforms, holy cow! I almost don't like it? Like, they're an underground agency. WE JUST SAW THEM GET DESTROYED BY CYBERMEN IN THE POWER OF THE DOCTOR. Are we just ignore that entire episode or...?

12. Donna not being able to keep a job? Yeah, THAT one I believe haha.

13. "I will burn down the world for you, darling" says Donna Noble to her transgender kid. WHICH IS AMAZING, WHICH MADE ME SMILE SO WIDE I WAS HAVING A PARTY IN MY BRAIN. There's my Donna! 14. "Gramps used to talk about flying saucers" oh god my heart. I teared up a little, not going to lie. Wilf, I think about you every single day. You made the Doctor the person he is today.

15. MEEP IS SO CUTE. OH WOW. I know "evil" is coming but SO CUTE RIGHT NOW.

16. To go from some excellent animatronics from the Meep to whatever those alien, fly things are was HILARIOUS. What, we'd run out of money for those costume's? Were they meant to look like a typical RTD alien back in the 2000s? How does that work?

17. WHAT THE ACTUAL FLYING FUCK WAS THE SONIC DOING. Wait, did Disney give the sonic some magical powers? Why are we suddenly writing in the air? How are we getting readouts of the ship from the sonic like that? Could it do that before? Why would we not do that before? I'm dying that's so funny.

18. Shirley seems cool!!! I hope we get more of her! And I love the nod to PROPER representation. Chibs did a good job of that as well. Edit: REAL representation! Good on RTD. The scene with the stairs and she says "don't make me the problem"... I am not a wheelchair user but I do hope that was properly done. 19. "I absolutely love her [Donna]" LOOK AT 14 HAVING FEELINGS! Aww, I hope 15 follows through with the feelings! 11, 12, and 13 have been so locked up, so scared to love... Having a Doctor that's ready to loudly embrace their love for things would be such a good character development. (My fear would be RTD ripping that away in the most tragic way possible, but that's a future problem I suppose).

20. I'm at the scene where Rose is talking to the Meep in the shed, and just, again, THE MUSIC. We did have some good musical moments in 13's era but, even I have to admit, nothing as pretty as this. It really is something, round of applause once again.

21. LISTEN. L I S T E N. I don't condone slapping the Doctor. I don't. In fact, it's wrong. It's very wrong. And you can't slap 13, can you? So slapping 14 shouldn't make sense. It's the definition of sexist. It's just not something you should do. BUT. B U T. Jackie's "stitch this, mate" is always in my head and now THIS "here we go again" after Sylvia gives the Doctor a good slap... I laughed, okay? It was funny! But really, in the good year of 2023, there shouldn't be comedy like that. That joke should have died. BUT I LAUGHED. So I'm to blame as well.

22. "Never mind about the ferret from mars." I LOVE the mars callback from Donna, thank you very much.

23. Kate looking after Wilf damn near brought tears to my eyes. Kate, you are the real hero of the DW universe. Thank you.

24. This is... This is gonna be another post. But. Okay. So. The whole "you're assuming he as a pronoun". Right. Okay. I know groups of people that talk like that. Both online and in person. Personal life spoiler, I work(ed) in musical theater. I've seen it all. I, personally, do not like this whole... "Let's be really obvious about it" thing. And also highly believe in someone else first telling me, when it fits, what their pronouns are. Having someone pull the defensive "YOU ASSUMED" crap doesn't work because humans don't think like that. It's a whole other rant, but yeah. This felt forced and I hate when shows do that. Representation is important but FORCING that representation doesn't help.

25. what's the. what's the sonic doing. what. how'd it. we got lines in the air. we got unbelievable shield. we. he waved it like a wand and now. what the. how'd. (Yo, not me head cannoning that this is 13 banging around in 14's head demanding that they have a better way to protect their friends. Love it). I WILL HAVE A LOT MORE THOUGHTS ON THIS.

26. DW has money now. That will continue to blow my mind.

27. "This is a sonic screwdriver and if it's good at one thing, it's resonating concrete". Oh yeah, Doctor? I'd like to bring forth you, never once, being able to do it. Not once! (And now it's good at creating magical shields and complex, alien holograms, but that's point #25)

28. Where'd in hell's name did he get that wig and how soon can Donna throw it out a window?

29. MEEP YOU - YOU UTTER AHOLE. Man, it was SO CUTE

30. O k a y. I take back, holy crap what point am I on? I take back point #7. So there's some of the Doctor left in her, eh? That's why! I dig that. I really, really dig that. Sorry for being a downer, that was my mistake.

31. I too can come up with technobabble bullcrap that means nothing. I sometimes think that's RTD's biggest failing, his incessant need to over describe things. EDIT. JEEZ, a good five minutes later as we're STILL talking gibberish.

32. Hey, I see you "glass wall between Donna and the Doctor" and raise you "glass wall between Wilf and the Doctor". OW. I demand emotional compensation!

33. Listen, I just got over 13 keeping every. single. emotion inside of her. She never raised her voice, she never really cried, she never had a chance to just scream and yell and be angry at the universe. The fact that there's 14 RIGHT HERE, screaming, because to save Donna, he has to lose her YET AGAIN. Just angry and devastated and grieving... It's a stunning scene, it's a scene that makes sense, but my 13 loving little heart says that this is 13's moment to be angry and it was taken from her.

34. Also, ha, I know Disney bought DW, but did we just "Winter Soldier" Donna Noble. We gave her trigger words to keep her memories at bay? Really?

35. "Hold on a minute," said in Ten's/Fourteenth's voice... Was that.. Was that ELVEN'S theme music while Donna was being, well, Time Lady Donna? Because that was... That was GOLDEN. How amazing is that? What a great idea!

36. You MONSTER, RTD, making Fourteen hold Donna the same way he held the Master? What the hell is that about?

37. The.. The nonbinary, but binary. I... It's... Something! Okay, I'll get there. I'll have a post about it. Maybe. But. Yeah, it's something!

38. DOES UNIT HAVE AVENGERS *cough* sorry it's been a while for Marvel me *cough* STARK TOWER. WAS THAT STARK TOWER? Damn, Disney, you really did bring us back to superwholock Avenger's "Clint in the vents" era, huh?

39. "It's a shame you're not a woman anymore, because she would have understood... Something a male presenting Time Lord will never understand." You can't... You can't do the whole "nonbinary" thing and that just immediately point out gender like that. What. The defeats the entire purpose. The whole point you're trying to make is that gender DOESN'T matter, and yet... And the Doctor has always, always been nonbinary. I refer to the Doctor as "they" when speaking as a collective whole, and many of us have done that. I use pronouns when talking about specific Doctors because humans have always used pronouns. Again, 11 and 13 have made mention that gender has NEVER mattered to them. I just... You can't be poking a bear and then expecting the bear to not to come after you if you've changed the poking object from a stick to a teaser.

40. I gotta laugh that Rose and Donna had the most peaceful "regeneration" we've ever seen. Somewhere in there, a Doctor or two is screaming lol.

41. Oh... The TARDIS is ugly. DON'T HIT ME. STOP HITTING ME. I MEAN It. Not, for real though, Oh my god, what. Why. The colors. Or lack of colors, really. What the fuck. Where's the... Where's the personality? Where's the sass? I've loved every single TARDIS change but THIS... This is a hard one to swallow.

42. The TARDIS having an shit fit over Donna spilling coffee on her is WONDERFUL. That's so funny to me. With everything she's been through with 13, that was just the best way for her to get her revenge! All in all, strange episode, yeah? I mean, what WAS that plot? It was really more of setup for the next episode, and double really meant to reunite ten and Donna, which was well done, but also... Why? It just felt a bit all over the place but very much cushioned by nostalgia. I'm done now. My fingers HURT. As always, and as I say in all my fics, I'm here if you want to chat. Reblog this, PM me, tag me in stuff!

[reginaregen]

Neighbour-Sonny & Cher

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ANNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Eddie wondered if Venom would hear him if he covered his ears. He watched as Venom bellowed and slobbered as he waved Annie's wedding invitation around like a maniac, and he wanted to be horrified, but he was used to his overreactions. Venom turned and grabbed him by the collar. "Our Annie is getting married! She belongs to us! How are you not going crazy?"

Eddie sighed. "If you love something, you should set it free!"

Venom smacked the man in the head. "IT'S ANNIE! IT'S NOT A THING! SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN THIS WISE? YOU LOSER! GO AND KIDNAP THE WOMAN YOU LOVE! DAN DOESN'T DESERVE HER!"

Eddie shrugged. "Actually, if you think about it, he has a good job and he keeps Annie safe…"

Venom screamed and threw himself on Eddie's shoulder before starting to cry. "Great!" "Our Annie is marrying someone else because you're a loser!" he grumbled.

Eddie rolled his eyes. He wasn't crazy about the fact that Annie was getting married, but it wasn't fair that he should be standing in the way of her future when they had different expectations in life. Sometimes they would lose it and kiss and the entire galaxy would melt into a hot pile of molten metal, the fire between them still there but it wasn't enough. After all, Eddie was trying to be a journalist and Annie's clearly safe lifestyle didn't fit in. He had given a piece of Venom to a raging maniac over an interview, putting his life, Annie's life, and even Dan's life in danger.

Venom touched his lips with one of his tentacles. "Eddie, shut up! I heard something!"

"I wasn't talking!"

"I can hear your thoughts. You were giving that I'm a small-dicked loser who makes everyone sad speech again."

"Hey! It's not small!"

"Yeah, have you ever seen mine?"

"You're an alien! That's not fair!"

"Shut up!"

Controlling Eddie's body, he directed the man to the peephole, but before the man could look, he excitedly jumped out "Eddie! What happened to our neighbor, the metal head?"

Eddie said calmly, "You ate him."

"Oh yeah, right."

"What are you looking at? Get out of here."

"No way!"

"I said get out of here!"

"I said no! I don't want us to fall in love again. It's messing with my brain chemistry too."

"What?" Eddie managed to push him away despite receiving a tentacle slap from Venom and looked through the peephole "F*ck! Is that Captain America?"

"I told you I don't want us to fall in love Eddie! Don't look at that man's ass! It's so round! I think I'm horny."

Eddie turned to Venom, his mouth open in shock. "I'm not gay!"

"You're gay for Captain America! Are you going to tell me that the idea of ​​interviewing him doesn't turn you on? Don't say it, because I can tell when we're lying."

Okay, Eddie had no objection to that. He wasn't a fan of every single Avengers or anything, but there wasn't a single person in the press who had any real connections to them. They were kind of legendary. Eddie would want to interview all of them. Except for Spider-Boy. He was a bit of a clingy type. And the virtuous Captain America hadn't given an interview to anyone in years.

Venom whined, not taking his eyes off the peephole. "Eddie! They're kissing! Why? Why is everyone we like in a relationship?!"

"We don't like Captain America!"

"Speak for yourself! I want to fuck him against the wall…"

"Hey! You can't do that with my body!"

"With our bodies, I can fuck anyone I want, with their consent, of course."

Eddie laughed. "You think Captain America would sleep with you? Have you ever looked in the mirror?"

"I'm more attractive than you."

Eddie shrugged. “True.”

“I have a bigger penis.”

“I don’t want to know if that’s true or not.”

“Look down.”

Eddie looked down for a moment, feeling a bit uneasy. “Oh my God! That’s…”

“Yeah, I’m bigger than you, as you can see.”

“That was harassment, Venom!” he grumbled as he looked through the peephole, trying to forget the fact that he’d just seen Venom’s penis out of his will.

Captain America had been kissing a beautiful girl who was tiny in his arms. For minutes… It was as if they were having a hard time breaking away from each other.

“You don’t have to stay here,” he told her between kisses.

“Steve, we’ve talked about this before.”

“You’ll be safe with me.”

"She'll be safer with us!" Venom said quickly as he pushed Eddie away.

Eddie nudged him "Shut up! Are you crazy? They'll hear us."

"I can hear Captain America's erection Eddie, they won't hear us. They're busy with other things." He pointed his tentacles over the door to the girl in Cap's arms "By the way, she's our new Annie!"

"WHAT?! VENOM! Stop it! There's no new Annie!"

"She's so cute!"

"No!"

"She's tiny."

"I said no!"

"We want to have sex with her."

Eddie continued to protest as he backed away from the door "No!"

"We want to take her in our arms and keep her there forever."

"No!"

"Then I'll eat her!"

"Good Lord!"

"Stealing Captain America's girl or eating people? You decide!"

"It won't be either!"

"Because your penis is small?"

"VENOM!!"

*   *   *

Lana noticed her hands shaking as she lined the outline of her big, dark eyes, which everyone thought looked like a doll's. She hadn't eaten in hours. She barely finished her makeup and looked around her apartment, which was full of boxes. She wanted pancakes. She needed a quick carbohydrate fix. She looked through her shopping bags but couldn't find any sugar. And there was no coffee. What would a pancake feast be without coffee? She was too tired to go to the grocery store and didn't want to call Steve again when he had been running around for days to get her to move. So she did the next best thing and knocked on her neighbor's door, unaware that Venom had been totem pole-sitting for hours.

Venom whispered softly to Eddie, who was dozing off on the couch, "Eddie, our neighbor we want to bang against the wall has arrived."

"Where does this wall-to-wall banging fantasy of yours come from?" Eddie asked as he opened his eyes.

"From my big penis. Now get up and open the door."

"No, I'm going to sleep some more."

Eddie huffed as Venom took over his legs. “Or maybe I won’t sleep.”

As soon as he opened the door, Venom whistled. Luckily, no one but Eddie could hear him. “Eddie, look at those shiny, black pearl eyes. I bet they shine even brighter in the bedroom.”

Eddie grumbled through his teeth. “Oh my God.”

“No, no. I was just complaining about the neighbors upstairs. They’re absolute monsters… They have sex for hours. You know, the ones with bangs.”

Eddie’s eyes widened in shock. Venom had said the entire sentence. “Are you taking over my sentences now?”

Venom snickered. “You look like a freak right now.”

Lana giggled. “Well… I have some good news for you. I don’t live with my boyfriend. I moved in across the hall. At least you won’t hear bangs from across the hall.” Only when Steve wasn’t visiting.

Venom clicked his tongue "Tell her you can make those sounds together."

Eddie held out his hand to her "Wow, thanks. Okay. I'm Eddie, Eddie Brock."

Lana shook his hand and smiled "I'm Lana. Lana Reck."

"Eddie! Tell her to shut her sweet mouth! Her shiny teeth are taking my eyes off."

Eddie ignored Venom and smiled "Nice to meet you Lana."

Venom made his final move. He called out to the chickens inside "Sonny, Cher! Get your hands on Uncle Eddie's pants, girls!"

Sonny and Cher came running and looked at Lana between Eddie's legs with astonishment as the girl giggled and leaned down to pet them "Oh my God! You have pet chickens? That's great!"

Venom proudly showed off to Eddie "This is why I refused to eat Sonny and Cher, for moments like this. Chicks like Lana love chicks like Sonny and Cher. Come on, let's lick her hair while Lana plays with those two."

Eddie gritted his teeth "It's a long story." he replied.

"What are their names?"

"Sonny and Cher."

Venom whispered to Eddie in triumph "No need to thank me. I did it for us."

Lana laughed, sending butterflies flying in Eddie's stomach "You're going to be the best neighbor I've ever had." As she stood up with Cher in her arms, she handed Eddie the cup in her other hand. "I actually need some sugar. Can I play with them while you fill my cup?"

"YOU CAN PLAY WITH US TOO! IN THE BEDROOM! OR WE CAN FILL YOU…"

Eddie swallowed. He couldn't tell if it was because of Venom's perverted whispers or the girl's sweet aura, but he was impressed by Lana. "What are you cooking?" he asked as he walked towards the kitchen. Lana followed him with Cher in her arms. "Nothing special, unfortunately." she said. "Just some pancakes."

Venom hissed. "Offer her Chinese food!"

Eddie said as if he had turned off the thinking part of his brain. "I was going to get Chinese food, we can share if you want. I haven't ordered yet."

Lana looked at him happily. "Are you serious?"

Eddie grinned nervously. "Should I be?"

Lana said as she gently placed Cher on the floor. "Okay, but on one condition. Then tomorrow's breakfast is at my house. Because I want pancakes too, but now that you say Chinese food, you've got under my skin!"

Eddie couldn't help but smile at the girl's joy. "Whatever you want, neighbor."

Venom hissed. "I wonder about what else we can get into Lana's head so easily?"

While Eddie ordered food, Lana walked away from the kitchen of the small apartment and sat at the table. She glanced quickly at the invitation on the table. When Eddie came to her, she handed the invitation to the man. "Something plain."

"Annie is plain," the man replied nervously.

"Whoever this Annie is sounds a little boring."

He raised his eyebrows as he sat down across from her. "You seem to know a lot about boring people."

Lana smiled wryly. "My boyfriend is Captain America."

Eddie succumbed to a strange feeling in his stomach. "Okay, you win." "I heard that guy is pretty boring."

"Do you think he's more boring than Annie?" Lana asked him with challenging eyes.

Venom howled. "I like this girl! She'll make your dead mama cry!"

Eddie grinned. “I don’t get it.”

“Oh come on! Isn’t this an invitation to your ex?”

Eddie was confused. “Where did you get that?”

Lana shrugged, laughing. “You’re about to have dinner with an annoying stranger who just moved in across the hall. I’ve been through heartbreak too, Eddie Brock. It’s all it takes to not think about it.”

Venom whispered. “Tell her the only part of us that hurts is our crotches.”

Eddie looked at her curiously. “I thought you dated boring, nice guys.”

Lana threw her head back with a laugh. Of course, she didn’t notice Eddie’s impressed look. “Steve, this is a completely new experience for me. Do you know who I dated before him?”

If anyone else had asked that question, Eddie would have snapped, "We just met, how would I know?" But the sweetness of the way she asked the question only made him smile. He shook his head no.

"Hold on tight." She looked at Eddie with wide eyes as she held his hands on the table. "Loki! I was dating Loki!"

"Crazy God?" Venom whispered. "Eddie! She loves crazy people and losers! She's definitely going to sleep with us! Yay!"

Eddie was surprised. "You went from Loki to Captain America?"

Lana said excitedly. "I know! Right? I couldn't believe it myself either, but I don't know. Steve is a good guy. He makes me feel safe. Although, I'm not sure I want to feel this safe."

Venom whispered again. "This girl is smarter than Annie. At least she knows what she doesn't want. That's why she's our new Annie!"

Eddie felt like he was about to get drunk from the girl's gaze, who was still holding his hands across the table.

He jumped up as if he were waking up from a dream when the doorbell rang. As he tried to get up, Lana stopped him "Let me open the door."

"No way!" hissed Venom "She's our guest. Get your ass up Eddie."

"You're my guest, please sit down," Eddie said as he opened the door and took their orders. The rest of the evening was filled with laughter from the apartment where the only happy voices for a long time had belonged to Cher and Sonny.

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