#aftg feelings tonight

[messmagu]

The inherent intimacy of lightning cigarettes together

[buzzingfrog]

taking my anti-anxiety meds and letting the calming thought of wymack punching someone in the jaw for assuming he voted for trump lull me to sleep

[phantomraekens]

sorry this song is so incredibly kevjean...jean about kevin leaving the nest

[thatoneelisa]

happy birthday, andrew and aaron minyard.

happy birthday andrew and aaron minyard.

happy birthday to aaron, who taught me it's ok to grieve the abusers. aaron, who said i wanna be a doctor oh so many years ago, and did just that when i couldn't. aaron, who saved his brother from drake when no one came to save me from my drake. aaron, who saw katelyn mckenzie and said i love you in so many ways. aaron, who is annoyed at neil josten 25/8 but puts up with him anyways cause he's everything to andrew no matter what andrew says. happy birthday to aaron, who thought i'd never make it to have this thing they all call a life and did anyways.

happy birthday to andrew, who taught me no means no and that if it's not absolute yes, it's no. happy birthday to andrew, who said i want nothing but somehow found he needed everything. happy birthday to andrew, who told me it's okay to be mad at that provider, they're shit for not helping you. happy birthday to andrew, who arms himself with armbands and knives when i myself cannot. happy birthday to andrew, who said fuck this shit, they're family and they are mine and i will protect them in a way i could understand. happy birthday to andrew, who taught me that no matter how far down the pit of hell my abusers put me in, i can crawl out of it and make it out alive. happy birthday to andrew, who less than a few weeks after i was out of the mental health hospital for the first time, was there to put me back together, and did it three. more. times. happy birthday to andrew, who showed me that a relationship can be unconventional to others but still be healthy.

happy birthday, aaron and andrew minyard. i hope your day is full of as much love (or, in andrew's case, nothing) and sugar as you want.

thank you both for being there for me.

yours, elisa

[hella1975]

hella do you think you could dumb bitchify aftg 🥺

(your making me want to get it but idk yet)

NO. GET HELP

[beaulesbian]

now i remember why i havent reread the All for the game books in the past years since i first read it - the last book is so emotionally exhausting, while at the same time it's impossible to put down 😭

i made it almost throught the whole book in one day, mostly bc i forgot how fast paced it is, i just couldnt find a good place to pause, so now I have only around 100pages left, and the worst is behind me.

but ufff, just to finally get to this

then the one-big-sleepover

and even the Neil 'I'm fine' Josten, but this time for real

after all the trauma., neil's finally back with his foxes, it makes me emo 😭😭

[allforminyard]

andreil x francesca lyrics parallels

so hozier just released a new song (although i think he’s played it live before) and the lyrics immediately screamed andreil to me so i decided to put the parallels in a post (and who knows maybe later a fic)

i hope you’re ready for an essay bc here it goes

do you think I'd give up

that this might've shook the love from me

or that I was on the brink

how could you think darling I'd scare so easily?

from the start neil and andrew exchange truths to size each other up and confirm that the other will not be a threat. they know they could most definitely be a problem from the moment they meet in arizona. neither of them can be sure of the other’s intentions without these exchanges, the willing surrender of information that eventually leads to deals and trust, trust that the other will step in and hold them up if necessary. on thanksgiving neil is the first to notice andrew’s absence and the first to act to protect him, going as far as to stashing his knives and promising to look out for kevin, not backing away from the ugliest of andrew’s past entering the present. in baltimore andrew barely lets him go from his protection (at neil’s request) and is the only one that notices that neil says goodbye, can see it so clearly in his face. he knows something’s wrong but can’t do anything about it and then neil is gone gone gone and comes back to them broken. andrew says “you are at one hundred (percent)” and “you aren’t going anywhere”, a promise to stand his ground beside him no matter what. they’re not scared after seeing the worst parts of their trauma, they won’t back away so easily.

now that it's done

there's not one thing that I would change

my life was a storm

since I was born

how could I fear any hurricane?

andrew and neil both had their share of trauma throughout their lives. what with being put in the system as a newborn, growing up in all those shitty read abusive foster homes, going to juvie to protect his new found twin brother from his latest abuser, and being put on medication that fucked up his physical and psychological wellbeing for the sake of being more palatable to others is a lot to say the least. not to mention a lifetime on the run from an abusive parent, multiple run ins and near death experiences with said parent’s gang, and the callous upbringing from another parent whose one goal was survival above all, to the point of having to bury that parent and try to get a semblance of a life together when all he ever knew was gone in an instant. their lives were storms from the moment they were born. how could they look away from the other’s trauma when they knew they could weather that and more?

for all that was said

of where we'd end up at the end of it

when the heart would cease

ours never knew peace

what good would it be on the far side of things?

no one ever bet on andrew or neil fully until wymack recruited them for the foxes. neil was taught to run no matter what because being caught was not an option. andrew had to learn to fight for every piece and parcel he could get before it was all eventually ripped away from him anyway. no one thought they would ever amount to anything and fuck if they wouldn’t die trying to not fall into what was meant to be their destiny. what else was neil supposed to be if not his father’s embarrassment that had to be sold to the mafia just so he didn’t cause any more trouble? what else was andrew supposed to be if not a cast off neglected child who would be forced to turn to drugs, violence or worse? they couldn’t turn into what was expected of them so they never stopped, always running, always fighting, always surviving. it’s in each other that they finally knew they could stay.

but it was too soon

when that part of you was ripped away

a grip taking hold

like a cancer that grows

each piece of your body that it takes

they both hit rock bottom and almost surrender. neil says “I'm tired of being nothing," and “Neil had seen this look on Andrew's face once before. the darkness in Andrew's stare … was perfect understanding. Andrew had hit this point years ago and broken. Neil was hanging on by a fraying thread and grabbing at anything he could to stay afloat.” andrew is forced to take back control however he can, starting with his body and later by getting himself sent away to juvie. he reaches the point where he has to give and receive explicit consent for physical touch, in response to what was taken from him so many times before. time and time again neil is offered a future so bright he can hardly believe it can be his. the more the year goes on the more he refuses to let himself hope, knows he’s as good as dead the moment he decides to stand up to riko and he finds out the truth. if it weren’t for andrew, neil would’ve run away and who knows what would’ve happened then. neil says “it's not the world that's cruel, it's the people in it,” and both of them know all too well just how many parts were ripped away from them in their struggle to survive.

if someone asked me at the end / though I know my heart would break

I'll tell them put me back in it

darling, I would do it again

if I could hold you for a minute

darling, I'd go through it again

we know andrew and neil are fighters through and through. andrew keeps his family in place by promising the only thing he thinks might be beneficial for them: protection. neil stays at palmetto even though he knows he should run before his past catches up to him. in the raven king neil says “he was their family. they were his. they were worth every cut and bruise and scream.” and in the king’s men, the first time andrew takes him to the roof after easthaven, neil confesses to spending christmas at evermore because “I had to try. if I had the chance to stop it but did nothing, how could I face you again? how could I live with myself?” they go to impossible lengths to protect each other, even if the other doesn’t ask for it, and neither regrets it, no matter if “Neil could tell himself all day long what the smart thing to do was, but if he really cared that much about what was smart he wouldn't have come here in the first place.”

I would still be surprised I could find you, darling

in any life

if I could hold you for a minute

darling, I would do it again

i don’t think this is explicitly mentioned in the books, but i think it’s something the fandom has accepted unanimously. andrew and neil are soulmates. they see each other for what they are and accept each other no matter what. they understand each other in a way no one has ever tried to before. neither of them thought they were ever gonna connect with someone they way they do. it was a surprise to have the love be requited and it made it all the better.

I would not change it each time

heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I

this final incantation is what truly sold the parallels for me. even after repeatedly trying to follow his mother’s dying wishes, neil can’t make himself put an end to his and andrew’s dynamic and in the end he doesn’t regret any of it. he says “thank you.” He couldn't say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing.” and “he'd hit the end of his rope before he wanted to and he hadn't accomplished everything he'd hoped to this year, but he'd done more with his life than he'd ever thought possible. That had to be enough.” it is also repeatedly said that “andrew regretted nothing”, meaning every word and action he exchanged with neil was intentional and true. and for all their unconventional methods, at the end of the day neil and andrew care deeply for each other (read the whole fucking essay before this) and know and trust the other like no one else ever has. i think the perfect example of this is after their first kiss when andrew says “this isn't yes. This is a nervous breakdown. I know the difference even if you don't … I won't be like them. I won't let you let me be." Neil opened his mouth, closed it, and tried again. "The next time one of them says you're soulless I might have to fight them.” their love is something that only they understand, and maybe even heaven would not be fit for it.

[sureuncertainty]

hopefully it's just tonight but i haven't written at all in the last couple of days and i tried again tonight and it didn't work AGAIN i just can't get myself to write idk sometimes i really feel like the sequel to silence agenda is literally never ever going to actually get written and there's no point in even trying

[laurents-laces]

Dumping my thoughts on the new aftg short stories here to contain all the spoilers in one place, because if I don't get to talk about them I'm gonna explode. Someone very kindly made a typed-up version of them here if anyone wants them!

TFC: David

We all know Neil is "distressingly single-minded about Exy" but I'm dying at the revelation that people in Millport knew this about him. He was supposed to be lying low 😭

Kevinnnnnnnn my boy!!!

"This is better. Easier? Better." Ouch

I had a feeling he was seeing Betsy more often than twice a year! And that we just didn't know about it because Neil didn't. That's amazing for him

Wymack is being such a great dad right now and he doesn't even know it

So excited to have one (1) canonical sentence from Kayleigh Day herself

I was headcanoning Kevin as ten when he moved in with the Moriyamas. I know nine is only a year younger but somehow it's breaking my heart a little more

Awww I always thought he looked just like his mom

I hope he looks a little like Wymack too but no one noticed before

I wonder if he ended up telling Betsy who his dad is? I don't think so but I'm sure she'd have kept the secret. Even though it would've been so hard to keep a straight face about it

"Coaches have no honor. Your word is enough. Just yours." I wanna hit every Raven coach with a very heavy stick, starting with Tetsuji. But I love how Kevin's always trusted that Wymack was different. He can be a surprisingly hopeful person sometimes. He's a little like his dad in how he sees the potential in people no one else does

Am I crazy or is Wymack talking about Andrew here?? Because it reminds me of the part in the extra content where Andrew keeps breaking into Wymack's apartment to rant about Kevin, until one day it's Neil he's more interested in

I always thought that Andrew agreeing to protect Kevin so easily might mean he was kind of into him. If canon unrequited kandrew is gonna be a thing then Andrew and Jean should form a Victims of Kevin Day's Big Green Eyes Support Group

TRK: Betsy

I'm so upset right now I don't even have words

It's so interesting to see what Andrew is like alone with Betsy. And I love that Wymack makes him feel safe

He loves his brother!!

"They cannot keep him. I will not let them." I fully believe Andrew would be down to break Aaron out of prison if he got jail time

"One week Neil had been the subject of some very grandiose conspiracy theories, and the next Andrew had only said 'He's Kevin's problem now, the end!' and refused to elaborate." That's the most Andrew response he could've had 😭

And he was so right about Neil being suspicious as hell! I need everyone to look back on the beginning of the year and realize Andrew was right about him

"Everyone knows now, Bee." My heart just broke into a million pieces

"Neil flinched. He'd pushed because he needed to see that horrible smile crack. He needed to know if Andrew was screaming behind the euphoria his drugs fed his veins. But Andrew wasn't, and Neil couldn't live with that. Andrew's medicine was too strong or his psychosis too twisted; either way, tonight didn't mean anything to him. This was a setback Andrew could sidestep and ignore." That part of TRK really stuck with me. It's a good thing he didn't actually try to act completely unbothered by everything that night but it still hurts to hear about

"I know what happened to you today was beyond cruel and that Drake's death will not undo what he did to you. I know our system has failed you every step along the way and that a part of you will carry that distrust and betrayal for many years to come, if not for the rest of your life. And I know you have done astoundingly well despite life's every attempt to crush you. I'm sorry," she said, trying and failing to catch his eye, "and I'm so, so proud of you." She just said everything I'm feeling, perfectly

Chaos and mayhem, or Blockbuster. These books are so 2006. I miss Blockbuster

TKM: Aaron

This was the first one I read and it took me ages to get through because I was laughing so hard. Aaron calling andreil's matching arm bands a promise ring broke me

He's such an asshole. I love him. He might not like it but he's a Fox through and through

"Exy this, Exy that, get a fucking hobby already. Oh, but I guess he did?" He sent a pointed look at Andrew. He's the funniest character actually

I've always wondered if he was a little jealous of a certain mouthy liar who has everyone wrapped around his little finger. Hearing that Ichirou chose Neil over his own brother must've been a wild experience

I also wondered if he actually had a passion for medicine or if he just picked the most respectable career path he could think of. It's so good to hear that it's really something he loves. He's gonna get his dream job and fix things with his brother and marry the love of his life some day, and I'm so proud of him

Neurosurgeon Aaron and paediatrician Katelyn are properly canon now! It's nice to get all these details from the extra content as part of the actual books

A few months ago, Aaron never would have imagined Andrew needed his approval. Finding out how important he was to Andrew was an ongoing, eye-opening experience. Aaron finally realizing how much Andrew has done because of him might be my favourite thing

"His father's people tore up his arms with a lighter and knives, and none of it is going to fade. He doesn't need to see those." Andrew Minyard you fake idgafer. You care so much. So much.

I wonder what would've happened with andreil if Andrew was in less denial about their relationship? I don't think he'd date someone on purpose while the no-dating deal was still in effect

"Andrew didn't want to talk about Neil with Dobson because once he broached that subject he had to either lie to all of them or admit Neil was more important than he wanted him to be." I love that Aaron understands this about Andrew

I love that the only other Aaron POV story we have also ends with him being able to tell when Andrew is lying to himself. The twinyards have their misunderstandings but at the end of the day they get each other

[so-much-history-in-these-streets]

AFTG PLAYLIST - NORA'S PICKS

(If Nora blogged it or tagged it, it's here - I hope I got them all, feel free to add if I didn't!)

The Foxhole Court Lean On - Major Lazer & DJ Snake I'm Not A Saint - Billy Raffoul State of My Head - Shinedown

The Sunshine Court Breathe - Lo Spirit

Seth Gordon Hey, What's Up - Munn Someone, Please Come Help - Munn

Neil Josten Scars - Boy Epic

Andrew Minyard Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold

Kevin Day I'm So Sorry - Nico Collins Burning Castles - Nathan Wagner

Jean Moreau Bird Set Free - Sia Movements - Daylily

Jean & Neil Used to the Darkness - Des Rocs

Nicky Hemmick Saints - Echos Cat & Jean My Same - Adele Jeremy & Laila Count On Me - Bruno Mars

Jean/Renee Walk Thru Fire - ViceTone She Is The Sunlight - Trading Yesterday

Minyard Confetti - Charlotte Cardin

Neil/Andrew Perfectly Broken - Banners

Jeremy Knox I Am - Tom Walker Best Day Of My life - American Authors

Jean/Jeremy The Other Side - The Greatest Showman Stargazing - Myles Smith

Carry You Home - Alex Warren

Kevin & Jean

Shinedown - Through The Ghost Xavier & Min A Boy Named Pluto - Hailey Knox Jean & Elodie (I’m Guessing, tagged: J&E) All of the Stars - Ed Sheeran Cody Winter Not Like I’m In Love With You - LEW

"To be tagged later" A Friend Like You - Andy Grammer

(tagged as 'not technically a TSC song' or as 'writing' in 2023) You're Not Alone - Saosin Hear Me Now - Framing Hanley Darkest Hour - Astrid S Might Love Myself - Baretooth My Brother - MisterWives Wings - Birdy Depression - Nathan Wagner Love Me Now, Or Lose Me Later - Kygo, Matt Hansen Untagged - (maybe just music she likes) Shots - Imagine Dragon Let's Hurt Tonight - One Republic La Di Die - Nessa Barrett I'm Doing Fine - Mike Waters Who Are You - SVRCINA Stole the Show - Kygo ft Parson James Sound of Surviving - Nichole Nordeman Pieces - Daughtry

[stabbyfoxandrew]

just any aftg fics you’ve enjoyed in the last month or so!!! im not picky, they can be whatever ship whatever au or content :) curious and in the mood to read something new……

okay! :D gonna go grab some stuff from my ao3 history. cut because it got long

kandreil:

game changer by peaceoutofthepieces

andreil come to visit kevin in his new apartment and he feels weird about it. but then...

Scrambled by klovnen

kevin gets a concussion!! so sad so good. his bfs take care of him. <3

it's worth a little blood to get your arms free by wyverning

kevin and neil start fucking around but they both really want andrew! (i haven't finished this one yet because it wasn't done when i read it but it is not and i'm hyped to see what happens)

If We Gotta Go (Gotta Go Tonight) by queer_lovebot

andreil teach kevin how to drive and it's so sweet TWT <333

stuck between your teeth like cotton candy by memeyoozi (vernonsgf)

this one is (for now) a two part series!!!! it's pre-kandreil iirc and the second part is MORE of kevin going insane because he's in love with andreil? i need to reread this one. but this writer is amazin

kevjean:

teenage dream by kevjean

kevin comes to california for a visit and he's packing! jean sucks the strap (it's pink/ i'm glad you're not colorblind) it's amazing i have a bouquet of flowers for ao3 user kevjean!!!

andreil:

Caretaking 101: When to Surrender a Sweatshirt by williams_strawberries

mein gott... i've been thinking about this fic for months. andrew thinks neil's about to run away but he's actually built himself a nest for his heat in the tower's basement. it's soooo TwT you'll see what i mean go read it. (no actual smut, just has the abo elements!)

i only need the working of my hands by allyasavedtheday

AMNESIA ANDREW!!! the man who remembers everything forgets what's most important. and has to re-learn who neil is. showstopping... amazing increbdile <- so good my stupid ass forgot how to spell!

keremy:

once in a lifetime by kevjean

jeremy is a popstar and kevin is his biggest fan! they fuck backstage and it's glorious!!! GLORIOUS!!! ao3 user kevjean... i love you<333

kevseth:

Baby Pink by noNic02

ok. this one... made me insane(r). it's not for everyone for sure... but kevin and seth are secretly fucking and kevin wears allison's clothes (kevin is having a lot of gender thoughts in here too... an egg...)

misc:

a detachment and a passive disinterest by memeyoozi (vernonsgf)

not sure where to put this one... kevin is in heat and needs dicked down. nicky volunteers! hooray! but also kevin wants andreil so bad he's insane! (they're all insane your honor) but it's so good? ty sister dayurno for showing me this...

sorry for the terrible formatting i've never really done this before? (i don't think anyhow?) anyway! go read all these okay! ❤️

[foxlar13]

i’m back with assigning songs to aftg.

picture this: Exit - Conan Gray and angsty kevaaron

February, and the flowers haven't even wilted

It's crazy how fast you tilted

The world that we were busy buildin'

kev and aaron have broken up because aaron gets scared the closer their futures come and he just can’t do it so he ends things

Mid-November, and I'm sippin' on a half-cold coffee

Starin' at a girl who's not me

On your arm, a carbon copy

the foxes have a big reunion and everyone brings their respective partners. including aaron and his new girlfriend. who is almost the spitting image of kevin. and kevin all of a sudden can’t wait until they go out tonight and he can have something stronger than coffee.

Feels like we had matching wounds

But mine's still black and bruised

And yours is perfectly fine now

kevin can’t understand. he’s here and he looks happy and he’s laughing with her. he doesn’t laugh with anyone but kevin. at least he used to. he feels like aaron’s stabbing a wound that hasn’t even had time to scab over. aaron doesn’t even have a scar to show for it.

Feels like we buried alive

Something that never died

So, God, it hurt when I found out

it’s still alive. he can feel it between them. in the way aaron still glances over on the way that he’s here and with someone that looks like kevin. they buried something alive and it’s crawling out and ripping at their throats to get out again. but god kevin aches. aches with the pain of being replaced so soon.

i could do the whole song but i am getting carried away but god just this song and angsty feelings for kevaaron 😩 i also picture this like they break up at the end of collage then it’s like, a few years in the future that they have their reunion.

[jeaanmoreau]

Jerejean + long distance phone call

woop! firstly thank you for the prompt! second, i promise this was meant to be fluffy when i started and then we ended up with phone sex instead. oops? xx [rating: M] 📚 Read it on AO3 send me aftg prompts

It took Jean a moment to realise that his phone was ringing over the sizzling sound of the chicken on the pan, and he turned the stove to low to reach for it, lips quirking at the sight of the caller ID on the screen. He pressed the green button and held it up to his ear. “Yes?”

“Hello, hello!” Jeremy’s cheery voice came from the receiver, more tinny than it was in person. “We just got back to the hotel and I thought I’d give you a call before I went to bed. How’s it going?”

It was so very like Jeremy to call him without any particular reason that Jean couldn’t even be surprised, let alone annoyed, and he switched the phone to his other ear to hold it up against his head with his shoulder while he turned his attention back to his food. “Nothing new. It’s Friday, so Cat and Laila are out for dinner,” he reminded him. Jeremy knew that. He’d known them for far longer than he had.

“Of course, of course. So, what are you up to, then? Am I interrupting anything?”

Jean looked at his chicken and gave it a stir once as gears shifted in his head, then he eventually asked, “Are you checking up on me?”

“I—no! What do you—I just wanted to see what you were doing and—”

“Are you concerned about me being alone tonight?” Jean asked again, but his voice had a slightly teasing lilt to it now, and maybe a tinge of fondness. How Jeremy could be so constantly preoccupied with his wellbeing he would never know. The selflessness and kindness he had brought into his life were part of the reason Jean felt what he felt for him.

“Not concerned, per se… I guess I feel a little bad for abandoning you.”

“You had no choice,” Jean pointed out.

“Well, no… But you know Fridays we usually…”

Jean worried his lip under his teeth as he pushed back his amused smile and turned off the heat to set the chicken aside. Wiping his hands on a tea towel, he turned around to perch against the kitchen counter and look off towards the fridge where pictures of all of them littered the surface. “Is this a booty call?” he eventually cut through Jeremy’s mumblings to ask, pushing off to walk over to the fridge and pick up a picture of him.

Jeremy was smiling wide and dimpled in it with his arms wrapped around Jean’s neck from behind. Jean himself looked thoroughly unimpressed at the camera. It’d been taken so long ago and it still made something tug hard at his stomach when he saw it.

On the other end of the line, Jeremy was spluttering again, “No! I mean, it’s—it’s not just about that. I do want to know what you’ve been up to.”

The acknowledgement was enough to spike something hot in Jean’s chest, hand falling down to his side again, and he tried to push the smile out of his voice to reply. “I have made dinner. I was going to eat and then have a good think about what I would rather be doing on the couch tonight.”

Two could play that game. He could almost picture Jeremy’s ears going red. It’d always pleased him a little to know how easily he flustered him.

“Is that so? Do tell, then. I’m very curious to know all about it,” Jeremy rushed out, words tripping over each other like they did whenever he was being purposefully flirty. “You and the couch and all that.”

Jean glanced back at the stove and weighed his options momentarily. The time difference meant that Jeremy wouldn’t be up much longer, so dinner would have to wait if he wanted to do this. It thrilled him that they could. That Jeremy wanted to, that he did. Everything it’d taken for them to get here. It was easy to make his mind up after that, and he padded out of the kitchen as he switched his phone back to his left hand. “I would rather have you on my lap,” he told him, bypassing the living room and heading straight to their bedroom instead, shutting the door even though Cat and Laila weren’t going to come home for the next couple hours anyway.

The sound Jeremy made on the other end made every moment of this worth it. “Like, straddling you?” he asked, and his voice was a little breathless. Jean’s own breath caught in his throat as his mind went wild imagining what Jeremy was doing on his hotel bed.

Falling onto his bed, Jean closed his eyes and let his free hand fall down to his lap. “Yes. You know what you do when you think you are being sneaky,” he told him, gnawing at his lip again and breathing in deeply. “Are you lying down?”

“Yeah,” came Jeremy’s breathless laugh. “Your voice turns me on so immediately it should be embarrassing.”

The acknowledgement tugged at Jean’s insides again, and he only hesitated for a beat before pulling at the button of his jeans to slip his hand into his boxers. “Tell me.”

“I’m very hard, in case that wasn’t clear. And desperately wishing I was on your lap with your hands on me,” he replied.

Jean sucked in a breath through his nose as his cock stirred to life under his palm, and he tipped his head back against the pillow. It was easier to picture the scene more clearly now, Jeremy sat against the headboard in some dark hotel room, legs spread out in front of him and underwear shoved aside so he could wrap his fingers around his erection properly.

“I want to feel it. I want to feel you,” he corrected himself, voice hoarse and accent coming out a little thicker like it always did when he was like this. Jean whimpered. “You are touching yourself?” He had to ask. Had to check. Had to—

“Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, obviously, I’m—god, Jean, you have no idea what you do to me.” There was a shaky laugh and another sharp breath. “This is probably going to be embarrassingly quick.”

But Jean didn’t think there was anything embarrassing about Jeremy at all, and he wished he could shut him up the way he usually liked shutting him up. It was the most natural thing in the world, to feel his body humming with electricity as he started tugging at himself in earnest. To give into the tingling feeling that Jeremy elicited in him like this, to let himself have and love and give and take. “I have some idea,” he got out between breaths. “I usually like getting my mouth around it.”

Jeremy groaned on the other end again. “Wish I could kiss you senseless. Make my way down your chest and worship every inch of your skin—” Jean flicked a thumb over the tip of his cock to gather moisture before he continued his strokes, long, hard pulls that had his toes curling onto the sheets in the best way. “Want to suck you off so bad, Jean, fuck.”

Jean briefly thought there was no way Jeremy wanted it more than he did, but he didn’t say that. Instead, he let out a low grunt of pleasure. “You don’t know how good you look when you do that. When you look at me as you—merde—”

“Yeah? You like the eye contact when I have your cock in my mouth?”

Getting Jeremy to talk dirty to him was always going to drive Jean a little crazy, and his fist clenched around his dick in response as his heart started hammering in his chest with anticipation. There was nothing languid and lazy and slow about this. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

The noises from the phone were becoming a bit more obvious, and Jean strained to hear the slick sounds of Jeremy getting himself off faster, the way his breath shuddered and he had to gulp down his own in response.

“I’m—god, I’m close. I want—I want you,” Jeremy gasped out. “Are you close? I want to hear you…”

Frankly, Jean was close. They could have laid here in silence and just listened to each other’s breaths and he would’ve been close, too. Nothing quite did it for him like listening to Jeremy enjoy this. “Yes,” he forced himself to acknowledge, voice tight. “I’m—” He hitched another breath. “I’m going to blow you against the bedroom door the minute you get home.”

“Fuck,” Jeremy cursed again, and Jean listened keenly to his noises until the telltale groan that indicated Jeremy was coming had him sucking in a sharp breath and bringing himself over the edge as well, body jerking with it until he fell back on the bed, loose-limbed, skin buzzing, and spent.

It took a moment to catch his breath, and he recouped the phone from his slackened fingers to hold it tight against his ear as his chest heaved. His other hand was a sticky mess in his underwear, and he didn’t move it yet.

Eventually, Jeremy’s voice returned. “That’ll never get old,” he breathed out happily. “That was—that was great. Thank you.” He had the decency to sound a little sheepish, and it pushed at Jean’s amused smile.

“You are great,” he told him in response. “And I wish you were back.”

There was no hiding the smile in Jeremy’s voice anymore, even through the distance. “I will be. And then there’ll be no peeling me away from you. That’s a Jeremy Knox promise.”

And the thing was, they’d been through enough now that Jean knew what Jeremy Knox promise meant. He believed in it. So he only smiled a little more sincerely. “I will hold you to it.”

[ashestoashes7]

in an attempt to write more today/tonight here’s a wip wednesday thing I guess. if you send me an ask with the title of one of these I’ll post a snippet or tell you about them. feel free to send as many asks as you like💖

Revolving in Reverse (Andreil Magic AU)

Fencing AU (AFTG Andrew’s POV)

Interesting (AFTG Olympics Andrew’s POV)

Foul Play (AFTG Neil as Nathaniel)

[hold-him-down]

I am on a plane for 8 hours. Do you have anything new to read? Love all your work soooo much you are definitely my favourite author, and not only here on Tumblr!

I don't think I have anything new! I've been rereading Captive Prince but I think everyone on this side of the internet has read that. Always big recommend the Billionaire series (Alexis Hall - i don't feel like anyone takes me seriously on this recommendation but I ADORE this series it just took a minute to get into) and AFTG series (Nora Sakavic - I think everyone read this one the last time we went down book rec era). I just finished Boyfriend Material and really didn't like it, tried to read It Ends With US to see where the threads with the movie didn't align and it's not doing anything for me. I am in an absolute reading rut.

The next couple on my list are:

a complicated love story set in space (which i've started and so far enjoy a lot)

tonight we rule the world

a fractured infinity

icarus (i added this in edit because i just remembered its high on my list)

Here's the whumpy book rec list i cross reference whenever i am so so lost on what to read next, and sometimes I ask peachy to recommend to my tastes specifically. Unfortunately though I haven't had a series like SUCK ME IN the way my big 3/4 did in a long time. Hopefully I'll find a new one soon.

AND, to address your last bit, YOU ARE THE BEST thank you this made my absolute night if I can make my brain do the thing AT ALL I will make a little snippet out of sheer gratitude for this ask.

[aaronstveit]

20 questions for 20 writers!

tagged by the bestie @afaramir abby thank you so much for giving me an excuse to avoid writing tonight <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 45!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 492,078 and literally a solid quarter of that is from c&b oh i'm laughing.

3. What fandoms do you write for? right now only for les mis but most of my works are trc and in 2019/2020 i wrote a bit for soc and aftg.....

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? oh i'm laughing these aren't even GOOD.... 1. [redacted soc fic] 2. makes me feel a little bit closer to you - pynch clothes sharing fic 3. c&b (my most beloved this is the only valid entry on this list) 4. i ain't gotta tell him (i think he knows) - pynch ithk songfic 5. all the time, all the time (i think of you all the time) - pynch fic where ronan is tutoring adam in art

5. Do you respond to comments? mostly yes! for like a solid 2 years i didn't but now i do again <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ummm i think the only actually angsty ending i have is all too well adansey fic? i'm such a happy ending girlie that's the only one i can think of that doesn't end happily. for obvious reasons.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i like to think pretty much everything i write ends happily but c&b proposal fic is what comes to mind since i finally finished it THREE ENTIRE YEARS LATER very recently

8. Do you get hate on fics? no i have been very lucky so far actually!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? no because i am afraid

10. Do you write crossovers? i do not!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? only the theoretical AUs that coco and i like to talk about but never commit to writing <3 although really you could consider coco my cowriter on most of my fics (especially c&b) like so much of them comes from her fr. love you coco <3333

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? oh i can't pick. that's like asking a mother to pick her favorite child. right now those dead gay french revolutionaries have my heart but tomorrow, who knows?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ugh i hate admitting defeat but. but. i am aware that beloved beloved pynch band fic will probably never be finished. which is a SHAME because i have soooooooo much of it planned out i mean like. i've got full albums designed. most of the beats are mapped out. i've got fake tweets written up, i've got chapter titles and scene drafts. like the entire concept is there and i'm so obsessed with it. but i just. after all these years it is extremely unlikely that i am going to actually, you know. write it.

16. What are your writing strengths? beginnings. i am so good at beginnings. that's why i have so many wips. also i like to think i'm good at dialogue. i try to write conversationally even when it's not actually a conversation and i think that translates well to actual dialogue it's fun.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? endings. i can't end anything to save my LIFE. also just plots in general escape me. and i always end up writing 10k more words than i meant to.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? um other people who can do it definitely should! i however cannot do that. i did however use my extremely limited knowledge of the french language for the section headings in my most recent fic and i like the effect it produced i think.

19. First fandom you wrote for? all evidence of their existence has been wiped from the face of the earth but my very first fics were one star wars fic and one agents of shield fic circa like. 2015.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? legally i'm obligated to say c&b but right now actually i'm still very very happy with how exr rooftop fic turned out. literally the entire time i was writing it i was just having a blast. i love writing angst and stuff it's like chewing on a polly pocket toy. now that i'm evil i never wanna write fluff again. i'm torturing those fictional guys fr.

tagging besties @television-bodies @gingerpeachtea and anyone else who wants to do it! ♡