#aftercare is important for everyone involved

[queen-of-nothing12]

Aftercare is really important even online, for everyone involved. So if they don't give you aftercare dump their ass

aftercare so she doesn’t feel gross or used >>>

[screaminglygay]

third time is a charm, right? (part five)

pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader, natasha romanoff x fem!reader, wanda x nat, wandanat x fem!reader

summary: your first time with wanda and natasha.

warnings: this is 99% smut, dom!nat, switch!wanda, sub!reader, aftercare, dirty talk, praising, swearing, fingering, making out, oral, a bit of overthinking

word count: 3.1k

an: this one took me forever to write, since it´s mostly smut, but next part will be more interesting, so i´m exited about that! stay tuned, my friends!

(italica = your thoughts)

You’re caught between them. You can feel Wanda and Natasha touching you, their lips on you, their firm yet gentle hands on you, their scent everywhere. You need more, no you crave more.

The room feels like it’s spinning as you lose yourself in the heat of the moment, every touch is like a adrenaline rush going up and down your spine.

But then, Natasha pulls away, her breathing heavy, a look of restraint on her face. She glances at Wanda, noticing how lost you both are in each other. With a gentle tap on Wanda’s shoulder, Natasha breaks the spell.

“Wanda,” Natasha says softly.

Wanda, eyes half-lidded with desire, blinks and pulls away, exhaling a deep, longing sigh.

Natasha’s voice is firm, a small smile playing on her lips. “We still have things to discuss, even though I have to say she is very irresistible.”

Wanda sighs again, her eyes lingering on you. “I know…”

You straighten on the couch with a bit confussion in your eyes, they both sit close but giving you enough .pace to calm down a bit. Natasha takes a deep breath, her gaze sincere.

“We want to make sure we’re all on the same page,” Natasha begins. “This arrangement is about mutual pleasure, but it’s important that we establish clear boundaries and open communication.”

Wanda nods, her hand gently squeezing yours for reassurance. “We need to know what you’re comfortable with, what your limits are. This isn’t just about us—it’s about all of us enjoying this experience.”

You feel a mixture of frustration and gratitude for their considerate approach.

Ugh- I want their lips on my-

“I… I appreciate that. I want this too, but I’ve never done anything like this before.” You say, still a bit out of breath.

Natasha’s expression softens. “That’s okay. We’ll go at your pace. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, you just need to tell us. No judgment, no pressure.”

Wanda adds, “And if you have any questions or if there’s something specific you’d like to try, just let us know. This is a journey we’re all taking together.”

You nod, feeling more at ease with their reassurances.

As the three of you settle deeper into the couch, Wanda senses that you´re still very nervous.

“To help you feel more comfortable,” Wanda begins, her voice soothing, “let’s start by sharing some of our own limits. It’s important that you know we have them too.”

Natasha nods in agreement, giving Wanda a reassuring smile. Wanda continues, “For example, I’m not comfortable with any kind of intense pain or anything that feels degrading. And I’m also particular about aftercare. It's crucial to me that we take time afterward to reconnect and make sure everyone feels safe and cared for.”

"I´m not comfortable with anything involving blindfolds. I prefer to see everything that’s happening and to maintain that visual connection.” Natasha looks from Wanda to you

Their openness makes you feel more secure, and you start to find your voice. “I… I think I´m okay with exploring a lot of things, but I´m not comfortable with anything that involves sharp things, or uh… blood and these stuff.”

Wanda squeezes your hand gently. “That’s perfectly fine. Thank you for sharing that with us.”

Natasha adds, “We also need a way to communicate if something feels too much or if you want to stop immediately. Do you know about safe words?”

You nod slightly, recalling the concept from things you’ve read before. “Yes, I’ve heard about them.”

“Good,” Natasha says, smiling. “We usually use a traffic light system. ‘Red’ means stop immediately, ‘yellow’ means slow down or I’m close to my limit, and ‘green’ means everything’s good. Does that work for you?”

“Yes, that works,” you reply, feeling more confident.

Wanda leans in a bit closer, her eyes warm and reassuring. “Remember, we’re here to explore this together. There’s no rush, and we’ll take it as slow as you need.”

With the boundaries set and the safe word established, the atmosphere in the room shifts to one of mutual understanding and anticipation. Natasha and Wanda move closer to you again, their touches soft and inviting.

"Then I think we can continue this, what do you say?" Wanda softly asks.

You simple just nod your head.

"One more thing," Natasha says, "we always want to hear you, especially when we ask a question."

You nod again, but now they can also hear your voice, "I agree, yes."

Natasha smiles and Wanda’s lips find yours right away, but this time the kiss is slower, more deliberate. Natasha’s hand caresses your arm, her touch gentle and comforting.

Wanda´s lips trail from your shoulder to your neck, each kiss sending a wave of warmth through you. While her hands rest on your waist, drawing you even closer.

Wanda whispers softly against your lips, “How does this feel?”

Your breath hitches slightly, a mix of excitement and nervousness. “It feels… amazing.”

Natasha’s voice is a soft murmur in your ear, “Remember, if you need us to stop, just say red."

You nod, "this is very green." Both of the ladies share a chuckle at your words.

Natasha moves and whispers in your ear, “good to know that, darling.”

Wanda giggles a little, gently nipping at your neck, before planting soft kisses. She whispers softly, “she´s so sweet.”

You move your head so Wanda has better acces to your neck. She notices it and giggles at your eagerness, taking the opportunity as she begins leaving wet kisses all along your neck. “So needy…” she says between kisses.

Natasha moves away slightly, enjoying the view infront of her, her hand put Wanda´s hair on her other shoulder so it´s not in the way. She leans closer to her ear and whispers, "you are too, detka."

This is too much for you, your mind is shutting down, but also running bilion miles per second. How is it possible? No one knows.

Your heart is beating so fast, you can heat your heartbeat and you´re sure both of the ladies can hear it too. As you let out a pornographic moan, Wanda and Natasha share a knowing smirk, but you´re so deep in pleasure, that you don´t notice that at all. Subconsciously you shift, openning your legs more, which both of them also notice.

“Someone’s eager..” Natasha grins, placing a hand on Wanda´s back, then pushing her more into you.

"Please-" you let out a shaky whine.

“Please what, darling?” Wanda asks, which leads Natasha to chuckle, since it is something she often asks Wanda in their solo time. Wanda´s hand moves up to your thigh, stopping before it reaches your core.

Even if you tried your hardest, you wouldn't get a sound out of yourself. And right now you´re trying your hardest.

Natasha smirks, whispering into your ear, “use your words, (Y/N).”

Your voice cracks, you´re figting as much as you can. "I need you to touch me, please… touch me." You are so needy.

"We are touching you," Nat´s fingers start to trace up and down your arms, she slowly puts them above your head.

"More… I need more." You look up at the redhead.

"Then ask like a good girl," Wanda´s words makes Natasha roll her eyes, another line she learned from her.

You shyly look at Wanda, "please, can you touch me?"

"Where exactly you want Wanda to touch you, darling?" The redhead is whispering in your ear, her words making you shiver.

"Go on, say it." Wanda is hungry, her eyes full of lust.

"C-" your words are stuck in your throat, "my… clit, please."

"Aww," Natasha cooes, "so polite."

Wanda smiles, her hands work fast to unbutton your pants, another second goes by and they are on the ground.

"Natty look at those panties, so adorable," Wanda´s thumb trace up and down your throbbing core.

Shit. That is emberassing. Oh fuck her fingers feel soo good!

"Oh look at that," Natasha smirks as she notices your kitten panties. "A kitten has kittens on her panties, that is adorable, indeed." Her fingers tickle your arms, "and she´s so responsive, what a jackpot!"

Wanda put your panties to the side, "she is more than responsive, Nat."

Natasha´s curiosity increased, "leave your hands above your head." She orders you, and then moves to see what is Wanda talking about.

"We didn´t even touch her that much, she is dripping," Wanda basically drools at the sight of you.

"You think she would cum only by our words?" Natasha eyes are now dark, her green color is switched with pure black. She is the panther and you´re her pray. There is something in you switching, when they talk about you, like you´re not even in the room with them.

"We can try that next time, but now I want her-" before Wanda can dive into your absolutely drenched lady parts, Natasha stops her.

"And what makes you think you can be the first, hm?" Her words makes you look at both of them, still keeping your hands above your head.

Oh. So Nat is defiently the boss in the bedroom. Noted.

Wanda blushes, "well…"

"Cute," the redhead holds Wanda´s hair, "go on, but slow."

Fuck.

Wanda leans in, you can feel her breath on your wet skin. As she playfully kisses your clit you moan. Oh this is going to be hell for both of you. The only person who is having so much fun is Natasha. Her grin in from ear to ear.

"Oh god-" you fight the urge to bring your hands from above your head into Wanda´s hair.

Natasha smiles at your inner fight, "good girl, keep them there."

Her words make you hold it, be a good girl. But lord it is hard.

Wanda´s tongue starts to explore your most sensitive body part, making the both of you feel so much pleasure.

"Slow, detka." Natasha´s nails digs into Wanda´s sides, "or do you want to just watch?"

"No, no!" She shakes her head.

"Then go slow." Natasha´s words are firm, making your body shiver and making your pussy clench.

Wanda smiles at the feeling of you being so responsive, so she nibbles at your clit, making your head falls back.

"Oh girls, you´re both so pretty." Nat smiles as she plays with Wanda´s hair, "you can go faster Wanda and use your fingers on her. Her whole body is begging for it."

She doesn´t need to be told twice, her finger is immedietly push inside of you, making you move your hips. "Oh my fucking god-" you moan out loud.

"Tell Wanda how does it feel, (Y/N)."

"It´s-" your hips are jerking up and down, usualy Natasha would pin you down, or stop you completly, but this is just a beautiful sight. A pretty desparate girl, doing anything she can for a little more friction.

"Words, (Y/N)." Natasha warns.

"It´s amazing," you let out, "it feels amazing… so amazing." You say as you feel so close to an orgasm. It is emberassing to you, that after few minutes you are this close.

Wanda smiles at your words, her fingers speed up her movements and she knows by your body reaction, that there will be most probably really loud ending.

"Is someone close?" Natasha asks, her eyes full of hunger.

"She is," Wanda mumble into your pussy.

"I am!"

Natasha chuckles at your adorable confession, "cum whenever you want, (Y/N). Go ahead-"

And you´re cumming. Hard. You never felt like this before and you´re addicted right away. You need this everyday!

All of your muscles are clenched, your breathing is heavy, eyes are shut. Wanda´s finger slow down, you don´t even realized she pulled it out already.

Natasha smiles, praising you how pretty you look and what amazing job you both did, her fingers are running thought Wanda´s hair, while she softly kisses your trembling thighs.

I have to be dreaming. Definetly.

Wanda smiles at you, immedietly laying next to you, while Natasha walks to the kitchen for some water.

"Oh wow," you finally mumble, which makes Wanda look at you.

"Oh wow? That´s it?" She chuckles.

You nod, shifting in her arms, "Not a single dream came even close to the reality."

"So you dreamt about this, hm?" Her teasing makes you blush.

"I- well… obviously." You smile shyly, you can feel her fingers tracing some patterns on your arm.

"We´re glad that we exceed your expectations."

You could get used to this, to them. It feels like they created a haven where you are free to explore and express every part of yourself. The world outside fades away, leaving only the cocoon of their warmth and the promise of mutual discovery. Their touch, their words, their very presence, all blend into a symphony of security and affection, wrapping around you like a comforting embrace that you never want to end.

In their arms, you are not just safe—you are cherished, valued, and profoundly seen.

Shit.

Is this how 'just sex' should feel? Yeah, it is. It´s just… nice to be held sometimes. This warm feeling is normal.

Natasha walks back from the kitchen, gives you a water and then smiles, "how about we take a shower, hm?"

"That is wonderful idea, need any help walking?" Wanda teases you again.

"Ha ha ha, very funny, I can walk on my own," As Wanda pulls away, you already miss her touch, miss her fingers tracing up and down your arm.

You stand up, realizing right away that you can´t really walk on your own.

Oh wow, that´s… different.

You never experienced sex this amazing, now you get everyone who talks about being obssesed with sex. You could get addicted to this. To Wanda and Nat.

"Okay, let me help you, miss 'I can walk on my own', give me your hand." You listen to Wanda and both of you walk into the bathroom, where Natasha is already preparing a nice warm water.

For some reason you feel more shy, than before. You´re standing between them in just oversized shirt now and you can´t bring yourself to take it off. Your cheeks feel like they are on fire.

"Do you need help with showering too or…?" Natasha´s asks, but you accidentaly cut her off due to your nervousness.

"No, I´m okay."

I´m an idiot. Why did I- oh my god!

Nat smiles and nods, while putting some fresh clothes out for you, she probably found in the closet, both of them leave the bathroom for you to take a warm shower, which leads you to overthink everything… like you always do.

Why did I said that? Good job, (Y/N), you could have a shower with the most beautiful ladies, but nooo 'you´re okay.' God dammit.

The steam from the hot shower still clings to your skin as you step out, wrapping a plush towel around your body. The water droplets trail down your shoulders, for a few seconds you stare at your own reflection in the mirror.

After you change, you make your way into the living room, you feel a flutter of anxiety, unsure if you didn´t upset them somehow. But the sight that greets you eases the tension in your chest.

Wanda is in the kitchen as she prepares a plate of snacks. The smell of something delicious wafts through the air. Her back is turned to you, but there's a gentle hum of contentment in the way she works.

Natasha is lounging on the couch, a soft, knowing smile playing on her lips as she looks up and meets your eyes. She pats the spot next to her, an invitation that is both welcoming and non-demanding.

"You okay?" Natasha asks, her voice a low, soothing murmur that wraps around you like a comforting blanket.

You nod, moving to sit next to her. "Yeah, just… a bit nervous, I think."

Natasha nods, "It's alright. New things are scary."

Wanda turns around, a plate of snacks in her hand, and offers you a warm smile. "I thought you might need something to eat, to get your energy back," she says, setting the plate down on the coffee table in front of you.

You can’t help but smile at the thoughtful gesture, your nerves slowly dissipating. "Thank you, Wanda."

She sits on your other side, close but not intruding on your space. "We want you to be comfortable. If that means taking things slow, then that's what we'll do."

Natasha adds, "we´re not gonna play with you and then throw you away."

The tension in your shoulders eases, replaced by a growing sense of comfort. You pick up a piece of fruit from the plate. You didn´t even know you had a bunch of apples in your apartment to be honest.

"I do feel comfy," you admit softly, looking from Natasha to Wanda. "Thank you for your patience."

Wanda places a gentle hand on your knee, her touch light and reassuring. "You´re very welcome."

As you sit between them, the initial nervousness fades, replaced by a comfortable silence. Together, you share this quiet moment, not really knowing what will this journey brings. But right now, you like every single bit of it. The three of you share stories and laughter, the initial nervousness having melted away entirely. But eventually, Wanda glances at the clock, a hint of regret in her eyes.

“It’s getting late,” she says gently, her eyes meeting yours with a soft smile. “We have a work meeting scheduled early tomorrow.”

You nod, feeling a bit sad. “Thank you for today. It was… really nice.”

Natasha stands, stretching slightly before looking down at you with a warm gaze. “How about we visit you tomorrow at work?"

You blink in surprise, a question forming on your lips. “How do you know where I work? Wait… how did you even find my address?”

Natasha smirks, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “We have our ways. Let´s say that we just like to be prepared."

Wanda nods, her expression serious yet filled with affection. “We wanted to show you how serious we are about this. About you.”

Before you can respond, Wanda leans in and places a tender kiss on your cheek. “See you tomorrow," she whispers.

With that, they make their way to the door. Natasha gives you one last lingering look, her smirk softening into a genuine smile. “If you need anything, we’re just a call away.”

You watch them leave, the door closing softly behind them. The apartment feels a little emptier without their presence, but the warmth of their care lingers in the air.

How do they even know I´m working tomorrow?

You hum as you eat one more apple slice from the plate Wanda prepared.

"They are the CEO of two big ass brands, of course they know what I will do tomorrow." You nod as you talk to yourself.

You can´t wait for tomorrow, hoping they will make your day at work better. You already know they will, but you can´t forget… it´s just sex.

Thank you for reading! can´t wait to share the next part with you:)

taglist: @arualdcg, @beholdagaywriter, @snowdrop1026, @itsdoni, @newawakening9​, @aliherreraaa, @zzswiftyzz, @lesbiantothemoonandback, @maggieromanov,

​

[kuro4thegays]

- Dr. Ratio nsfw alphabet -

[Veritas Ratio x gn!reader] [Originally written with male reader in mind, but there is no mention of genitalia so I think it can work for any gender. I tried to provide both something for top and bottom reader so everyone can get something out of this. The reader is assumed to be in a long term relationship with Veritas]

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Veritas can be really romantic. Initially, he doesn’t want either of you to pull away at all, just to nuzzle each other while your bodies stay intertwined in such an intimate fashion. Though if you really need it he’ll get up immediately to get you some water or snacks or really anything you need. Depending on the time of day you also might be expecting a bath, massages too.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Not a specific body part, but likes how proportional and symmetrical his body is as a whole. This guy is literally named Dr Ratio, leave me alone. On you though, I think he likes your face. Basic answer, but I really can't see it any other way. Definitely likes tracing the contours of your face when bored, studying it like an ancient sculpture. Oh, and I guess it's pretty hot how your face twists in pleasure while you're doing it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

If he's topping he likes to cum inside, otherwise cumming all over you is the second best. I feel like he wouldn't be a fan of cumming all over himself so if bottoming he'll like to do it either on the bed or if possible somewhere on you. My man also probably likes fruits, that's what gives his cum a sweet-ish taste, definitely not the sugary sweet kind though, the earthy natural sweet.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Definitely wants to do it in a very natural space, like a lake or something. That primal feeling, miles away from the rationality he exudes usually, really gets him going, but he's too afraid of someone walking in and ruining the moment to actually do it.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Virgin. Most of his life he probably had that kind of mindset that it's probably not worth it getting involved with someone else when he has everything he needs here. Still thinks that way, but now has you to keep his balls empty.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying.)

Loves lifting you off the ground, gotta show those muscles off. You just wrap around him so snugly and your faces are so close to each other it takes no effort just to start making out while pounding into you. Doesn't mind being lifted up himself either, especially if you're squeezing his ass while doing so, has and will attack your face with kisses. Other than that he likes anything where you two are face to face just in general.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Very serious. Because of how little experience he has and how little people he has let see him this way he probably takes it as an extremely important bonding time so don't expect any jokes or laughs from him. Though he won't be mad if you're into the more casual kind, hell, he’ll let you try getting a laugh out of him.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Extremely well groomed. He's a neat freak, man loves baths and goes nuts when he sees a single dirty spot on his book, he's well capable of keeping himself clean. No hair out of place and all, if he even has any on his lower body.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Said it already, but he takes sex very seriously. Slow and sensual is his thing. Makes it a whole ritual, lighting candles, maybe using some rose petals that he likes putting into his baths, massaging your back, everything to make you feel absolutely refreshed afterwards and ultimately make you feel closer to each other at the end.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Doesn't do it that often, but when he does it's most likely during the morning shower. Though, unfortunately, if he has the displeasure of having another bath without his lover he might have to rub one out alone in there too.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise and degradation are a must with this man. Just state your preference, or do both if you’re into it, and he’ll already be running his mouth even before you start. Body worship is also a big thing for him. With his marble statues you can assume that he at least must love his own body and something tells me that he’ll be equally if not more obsessed with his lover's one.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Not into risky stuff, he has a reputation to keep. Maybe you can suck him off under his work desk with all the doors locked, but that's where it ends. Maybe bathhouses, but only if you have a reserved room or smth. Though when it comes to your private adobe nothing is off the table. The bed, bathtub, over the counter, against the wall, he isn't too picky.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Not hard to get him in the mood. Loves how open you are with him and if you ask him nicely he’ll already feel motivated. Just seeing you so needy and wanting him makes him feel special, like he is the only one who you would run up to with something so intimate. Expect him to tease you about it though.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that has to do with risking his reputation, no public sex or exhibitionism. Threesomes are also a no for him, not with someone he knows and definitely not with a stranger. He has made it clear that you're the only one who he wants to experience this kind of intimacy with.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He was definitely a little weirded out at the start. Don't get me work, he knew how it's done and what it meant, he isn't that innocent, but the thought of actually doing just felt gross to him. Of course, that's where you came(in more ways than one) in. Unfortunately for you, he is a fast learner. Now oral is his favorite way to open up a long night session with you. It doesn't take much preparation, so expect him to wake you up using his mouth.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

My guy likes to take his time. He sees sex like he sees his baths, a way to cleanse the body of all its filth, so sometimes it really does feel like you're making love instead of having sex. He just finds himself dissatisfied with the fast and rough methods that just dry him out.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

It might seem surprising after I talked so much about him taking his time, but I don't think he actually minds quickies that much. Though he doesn't like making a routine out of them, sure a quickie is good once in a while to relieve some stress, but he doesn't want it to spoil sex for him entirely. He likes them most during the morning showers.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

While he doesn't want to take any risks with his reputation, he certainly doesn't mind doing risky stuff behind closed doors. How are you supposed to see the results without any experimentation?

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Oh, he can go for plenty. My man is beefy and all that muscle isn't just for show. The thing is, one round for him already takes a while so expect to be spent and thoroughly satisfied. Not that he doesn't mind going again, he's just wondering if you can keep up.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't have a lot of toys but he definitely doesn't mind using some on you or you using some on him. Keep in mind though, if you allow him he can get pretty ruthless with them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Definitely a huge tease, refuse to believe otherwise. Going to go further into it in a moment, but my guy is talkative. Nothing you do will go unnoticed and everything you do will be commented on. Also teasing with his actions. That one extra button left unbuttoned was specifically left there to cause a reaction from you. Will deny you orgasm if you're into that. He loves the power all the things listed above give him and the feeling of being desired really gets him going. You could inflate his ego even more or even try to shut that pretty mouth yourself.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I don't know if this is a hot take but I think that he might get more vocal once he is with someone he trusts. Definitely won't hide his voice from you when he sees you getting more aroused, might as well use it to tease you. Oh, and he's definitely a talkative one. Expect lots of comments between those sweet groans and moans of his.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Massages are his favorite form of foreplay. Be it during baths with all his fancy soaps and oils or in bed after an exhausting day, it's a very intimate, but not necessarily sexual, way to relax the body and he needs your body to be relaxed if he wants to proceed with more intense stuff. Doesn't mind receiving a massage either, though he is mostly the one giving them he can't deny himself the pleasure of your hands worshiping his muscles.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He is a big man, what do you expect? No, but for real, it matches his size. Every part of him is proportional. Always cleanly shaven and well groomed and only has a few subtly visible veins just below the head. Cut and colored with a pinkish blush on the very tip.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not that high. He keeps himself intellectually occupied most of the time. Though he can get turned on pretty quickly when his partner initiates.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I imagine most of your steamy encounters happen at the end of the day so he already feels pretty drained. That orgasm is probably the last push for him before going to bed, assuming that all of your needs are taken care of first.

[Just something quick to deliver while I'm working on something bigger to keep you all well fed]

[gentlekalita]

Mental Safety in BDSM

It’s your Gentle Domme Kalita here, and today we’re diving into an incredibly important topic: mental safety in BDSM. While the physical aspects of BDSM often receive a lot of attention, it’s crucial not to overlook the emotional and psychological dynamics that play a vital role in creating a safe and fulfilling experience. Whether you’re a seasoned practitioner or just beginning your journey, understanding mental safety can enhance your experiences and build stronger connections. Let’s explore together!

Understanding Mental Safety

Mental safety refers to the emotional well-being of all participants in a BDSM dynamic. It encompasses feelings of trust, respect, and the ability to freely express thoughts and boundaries. Feeling mentally safe is just as important as physical safety, and both should be prioritized for a genuinely enjoyable experience.

1. Open Communication

The cornerstone of mental safety in BDSM is communication. Here’s how to cultivate an open dialogue:

Pre-Scene Conversations: Before you engage in any BDSM activities, have a thorough discussion with your partner(s) to talk about desires, limits, and expectations. This dialogue helps to establish trust and ensures everyone is on the same page.

Discuss Aftercare Needs: Talk about what you might need emotionally after a scene. Some people prefer cuddling and reassurance, while others may want a bit of space. Understanding your partner’s needs fosters safety and connection.

Check-Ins: During a scene, establish a method for checking in with one another. This can be verbal, using safe words, or through non-verbal cues. Continually affirming comfort and consent is essential.

2. Setting Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial in maintaining mental safety:

Define Limits: Clearly communicate what is acceptable and what crosses a line. This step may include discussing hard limits (non-negotiable) and soft limits (areas that may be explored with caution).

Create Safe Words: Establishing safe words is fundamental. Use a straightforward system like "red" for stop and "yellow" for slow down/check-in. This clarity helps alleviate stress, enabling everyone to focus on the experience rather than worrying about crossing boundaries.

3. Understanding Consent

Consent is not just a one-time agreement but an ongoing conversation:

Enthusiastic Consent: Ensure that consent is given enthusiastically and willingly. Everyone involved should feel positive about participation and the activities planned.

Revoking Consent: Teach participants that it’s okay to change their minds and revoke consent at any time. Understanding that it’s not just the scene but the emotional state that is constant means feeling empowered to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.

4. Aftercare: A Key Component

Aftercare is essential for mental safety and emotional recovery following BDSM activities:

Nurturing Connection: Spend time together post-scene, engaging in cuddles, sweet words, or any comforting activities that reinforce trust and intimacy. Aftercare helps to settle emotional highs and lows after an intense experience.

Discussing the Scene: Talk about what went well and what could improve in the future. Sharing feelings and experiences can provide closure and understanding, enhancing the connection for future sessions.

Self-Care: Encourage practicing self-care routines post-play, whether that involves winding down alone, journaling, or bathing. Engaging in self-love reinforces mental well-being.

5. Recognizing Emotional Triggers

Understanding emotional triggers is crucial for maintaining mental safety:

Identify Triggers: Before engaging in BDSM, participants should discuss any personal emotional triggers they may have. This knowledge ensures that certain situations or actions do not invoke unintended distress.

Create a Safety Plan: If a moment comes when someone feels overwhelmed or triggered, having a plan in place—like a trusted safe word—helps mitigate potential emotional difficulties.

6. Education and Exploration

Knowledge is empowering when it comes to BDSM:

Take Time to Learn: Engage in readings, workshops, or discussions focused on BDSM principles. Educating yourself about different dynamics enhances understanding and emotional intelligence.

Attend Communities or Forums: Participate in local BDSM communities or online forums where you can openly discuss ideas, experiences, and concerns without judgment.

✨ Join Me for More Nurturing Adventures!

Are you ready to delve deeper into the beautiful world of BDSM while prioritizing your mental safety? I invite you to join me in my live camming sessions, where we can discuss these important concepts, share experiences, and create a supportive community that embraces exploration and self-discovery.

👉 CHECK MY BIO! 💖

[imagining-in-the-margins]

I feel like so many people have a different interpretation of how Spencer Reid would handle sex. There’s the classic nerdy spencer who keeps stuttering and doesn’t know how to do *it* but knows everything technical, and there’s the mega dom spencer who knows exactly what he’s doing, and everything in between. I’m curious to know what you think is most accurate to how he would be? This can also change from first season to last, etc. I’m just curious what u think!

S.R. Sexual Headcanons (NSFW, 18+)

Early Seasons

Shy and slightly insecure, but eager to please

Would spend a lot of time on foreplay because it is the best way to ensure his partner’s pleasure (and it’s a fun kind of science)

Prefers an emotionally attached partner since sex requires vulnerability he is loath to give

Has a lot of things he wants to try, but he is too embarrassed to bring them up, so he’ll wait for his partner to suggest it (very nonjudgmental)

As he gets older, he becomes more confident and lighthearted in bed

Understands the importance of aftercare and insists it’s his responsibility to hold you (he is actually just a cuddlebug with a really good excuse)

Interested in the power dynamics of kink culture but averse to it because he lacks the self-confidence

Preferences/Priorities: Perfecting oral sex techniques, kissing erogenous zones, sensory seeking activities (experimenting with light/hard touches, but not pain).

Middle Seasons

Brat and Switch Era

More willing to have fleeting sexual relationships

Beginning to feel confident in his sexual identity, more willing to ask for what he wants

Enjoys roleplay, more intense power dynamics, and sensory-heavy foreplay (although still loath to grant true vulnerability)

Confident in his ability to please his partner

Seeks out relationships where he can feel challenged in some way (intellectually, physically, emotionally)

Views sex as one of many ways to establish and express intimacy, would easily forego sex for an intellectually stimulating activity (and loves them as foreplay)

Preferences/Priorities: Ensuring his partner is open/comfortable, advocating for his own pleasure, having fun while having sex, exploring deeper rooted sexual proclivities

Late Seasons

Just wants to feel desired for who he is (he is so tired)

Seeking companionship but unwilling to have long term sexual relationships without emotional vulnerability on part of all parties

Struggles with the darker parts of himself and requires reassurance from his partner (both that he is gentle and strong/“a good man”)

Less likely to engage in heavy roleplay, established “scenes” are rare

A more intuitive lover that adapts to emotional and physical shifts, but very cautious to escalate

Craves physical and emotional intimacy before and after sex (he requires aftercare and is so, so touchstarved)

Occasionally uses sex as an outlet for his frustrations, but usually would prefer to ground himself through sentimentality

Preferences/Priorities: Feeling close to his partner, maintaining boundaries, ensuring the overall experience is enjoyable and everyone involved feels safe

What do you think? Sound off in the comments/reblogs and let me know!

*These lists are just for fun and based purely on my perception of his character. Outside of the variety of my fanfiction portrayals, this is what I consider my “truest” perception of his character. No one characterization is “correct” because there is no knowledge of his sexual personality in canon. Heavy submissive/dominant portrayals are, in my view, valid and arguable for any stage of his character. Do not read anything I’ve said as a condemnation of another headcanon. This is all in good fun!

[havocskies]

HOBIE BROWN HEADCANONS | NSFW

im iffy on writing actual smut bc id be reconsidering a lot in my life during it but i am not above writing headcanons xoxo

honestly this is kinda jst me rambling but oh well take it anyway

╭──╯ . . . . . ༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶ . . . . . ╰──╮

• definitely wouldn’t be aggressive but not against throwing you around just a little (if you’re okay w that obviously)

• i don’t think he’d be absolutely nasty. like he’s clearly a bit freaky, he makes a joke abt biting in his intro but i can’t see him being crazy ??

• sony let us know he’s into biting n everyone jst ignored that we need to think abt that more.

• not entirely serious. he isn’t above making a few jokes every once in a while, especially if you’re a bit nervous

• back to that though if he tries to initiate something and he sees you’re even slightly unsure or nervous ?? it’s off. he’s asking what’s wrong immediately and if it’s solvable great, he’ll solve it if it isn’t it’s off. he has no problem leaving you be if you aren’t up to it, there’s no convincing involved

• wouldn’t be into anything extremely degrading, aggressive, or violent. to him that’s porn culture and he wants absolutely nothing to do with it, even if you asked. i just don’t think he’d get off to anyone being seriously hurt

• however he has no shame with a BIT of pain. he did make a biting joke so i mean

• i think light choking would be the worst he’s automatically willing to do or receive. ofc he’s willing to talk but it’d have to be a very detailed talk abt what both of you are okay w doing/receiving

• honestly i jst think talks like that wld be important to him in general. he doesn’t wanna overstep any boundaries, especially not during something as big as sex. he’d never try to introduce you to something before having a genuine conversation about it first

• aftercare is peak w this man. godsend. you’ll never get any better

• not rough all the time. yg write him to be like absolutely insane n aggressive in bed n i jst can’t see it. like hobie never once even raised his voice unless it was loud, like in his intro. nothing abt him was ever aggressive. i think maybe he’d have no shame being SLIGHTLY rough but i don’t think his intention would be to hurt you/see how much you can take ever

• i think most of the time he’d be pretty normal. he’d be paying complete attention to you jst to be sure you’re comfortable always, he’ll stop immediately if you aren’t

• honestly he’s probably a switch, i can see it. he has no problem giving or receiving, though there wld still have to be some talks abt some things LMAO

• i see comments on edits (even mine) abt how he switches positions a lot n it lowk made me giggle. i think he definitely would on occasion just to catch you off guard, but his whole hating consistency thing imo was a joke jst to mess w miles, half the things he said in his intro were to mess w miles

• probably not very experienced but he knows enough and learns fast. like i don’t think he would be into hookup culture or even care abt sex much but he isn’t clueless, yk ?? he knows what he’s doing at least

• doesn’t really ask for head. if you bring it up, great !! he obviously won’t complain ☠️ but to him i think it’d be more of a bonus, not something he expects from you

• i don’t think he’d be into rough head either. to him it’s about what YOU’RE comfortable doing and what YOU can do. he isn’t going to force you into doing anything. like if his hand is ever on your head it’s to hold your hair back and/or just love on you

• like i said he doesn’t really get off to seeing you struggle

• also idk if it’d be pierced. would he be above it absolutely not but that also involves a stranger handling and piercing your dick. if he did it himself, then maybe

• sex to him isn’t as important. he isn’t going to be all distraught if you aren’t ready or you jst don’t want to. it’s jst a bonus to him, obviously it’s important but your needs and thoughts are SIGNIFICANTLY more important to him than what he jst wants

[moodymisty]

May I request a yandere primarch of your choice getting very jealous after seeing you laughing with one of his brothers at a party and then dragging you back to his room after to remind you who you belong to?

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: the community wanted Yandere Horus, so Yandere Horus you all shall have. I hope you enjoy, anon. I'm ok with this, but there's more I wanted to do. But at the end of the day I had to just bite the bullet and post it so I can take a break without this looming over me.

Summary: It's the first real outing since you've been officially named as Horus' beloved, and he realizes how much he dislikes how curious everyone is of you.

Relationships: Horus Lupercal/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Big Dick Lupercal, Takes place well before the Heresy, Yandere, Toxic relationship, That typical sort of yandere dubcon but not really dubcon kinda thing, Breeding kink if you squint, Size kink/Size difference, Getting absolutely obliterated by a ten foot tall man built like a truck, if you squinted hard you could take some dialogue as a bit sexist but it’s a stretch, Aftercare? lmao this is 40k

Word Count: 2714

Perhaps you aren't the foremost expert on parties, but the last you had thought, a party was supposed to be...

Fun.

And lacking in the drawl of military strategy and logistics. This seems more so like an ineffective way for the High lords of Terra and other high value persons of the Militarium to speak to the Primarchs and their captains, but with wine involved.

As the recently crowned Lady Lupercal, many of those high value persons are now eager to make friends with you, attempting to smile as wide as comfortably possible and earn any sort of good will they can. For many of them speaking to a Primarch, let alone making connections of a Legion would be hysterically rare; Though it seems many of them have the idea to do so through you.

Horus had warned you of it, so you suppose you shouldn't be so surprised.

Only just now have you managed to get away from them all, taking solace in a quiet corner of the palace. A Custodes on guard had given you an odd look- and by look you mean just a glance from the corner of his eyes- but he seems content to allow you somewhat near him as long as you remain quiet. Though you suppose you can't remain here for long. You have to be a part of all this, as much as you might dread it.

“Lady Lupercal?”

You turn the moment you hear the distinctive accent of Macragge-born Guilliman, who approaches you as you stand close to one of the palace's myriad of balconies. That title still feels odd to hear. He brushes just past you to stand on it, and waits until you join him. His head is tilted downward at an angle to make eye contact with you.

It's night now, and you can see the lights of hundreds of ships orbiting Terra up high above. It darkens his armor and the lights of the palace cast a harsh shadow on Guilliman's clean face.

"Had your fill of this evening?"

Normally Guilliman is quite forthright, so his small talk is a bit of a surprise. Everything has lead you to believe he was a very politely blunt sort. Though you've only spoken to the Primarch a handful of times, and very briefly.

Only just recently as Horus has made it known to everyone that you are his beloved, have you begun speaking to his legion; And his fellow Primarchs.

"A little bit. I just need a bit of air, and then I'll come back."

Guilliman crosses his arms over the delicate and expensive looking robes he currently wears, having shed his armor for the evening. It must be from his home world, judging by the interesting style and shape.

"I am a bit surprised he's thrown you to the wolves like this. Before, he was quite secretive about you." You doubt Horus would let you leave his sight unless it was extremely important, and it's not as if you can rely on him forever. Or demand him to stay.

"I assumed someone had managed to catch his attention enough for me to get lost." Guilliman shifts his weight slightly, and lets out a very quiet chuckle. It's sincerity makes you smile.

"Don't tell any of the others, but we've all gotten lost our fair share of times in this maze of a palace." He rubs his temple with two fingers. "It just keeps growing, it's like a Labyrinth. I've begun to wonder if Dorn will ever cease."

His genuine exasperation makes you laugh. It's such a human gesture, and such a human problem. It's quite easy to forget they are human, at times.

You hadn't realized you'd been smiling the whole time, but it grows when you see his disgruntled face. It goes away however when he realizes he amused you.

"If I figure it out before you, maybe I'll make us a map." Guilliman smiles.

"I will hold you to that, you know. If cartography isn't yet familiar to you, perhaps you should begin learning."

You were about to respond to him, a smile on your face, but Guilliman turns his head away towards the inside of the palace; Your own gaze follows shortly thereafter.

He must've heard Horus before he could see him, because not moments later you can see Horus walking towards the both of you; His pelt shifts on his shoulders as he does. He makes a straight line towards the balcony the both of you stand on and ignores anyone else along his path.

"Here you are," Horus smiles at you, but it's not his usual one. The one that's warm and casts the room and a pleasant atmosphere. "I see you've been chatting with one of my brothers." You nod with the smile Guilliman gave you still partly on your face, but before you can speak anything more- perhaps what the two of you were talking about- Horus does so for you.

"Perhaps we should take our leave for the evening. It is quite late, and it seems nothing or anyone worthwhile is going to make it's appearance."

He looks towards Guilliman and for a split second it almost seems like an argument is beginning to brew, with the way they're looking at each other; Guilliman is confused and defensive while Horus' jaw tenses. You can't understand how his mood has so suddenly changed, neither can Guilliman clearly, but it seems something has happened in your absence.

Now you stand literally and figuratively in the middle, before retreating your Primarch's side. He will always serve as your anchor, even when he's this turbulent.

Guilliman simply gives a curt hum in response, and seemingly decides to not uncover Horus' sudden change in disposition.

"Very well. I hope the rest of your evening fares you well," He looks down to you, though the pleasant aura he had has now returned to the cold and structured one he is known for. "And I enjoyed our chat."

Horus gives Guilliman no more than placeholder platitudes and farewells, of which the man takes with a short nod, before leaving with you in tow to return to his chambers.

That entire trip to return to them, is intense.

There is no chatter, and Horus doesn't even have the soft upturn of his lips he usually wears. Instead his face his firm, with something clearly boiling beneath the surface. You wonder if it's something from when he was gone that you could ask about, when he isn't in such a sensitive state.

Even as friendly and easygoing as Horus is, his fellow Primarchs are largely not the same apart from a few, and you wouldn't be surprised if one of them managed to- in a phrase not suited to describe a Primarch- pissed him off.

When you enter the deepest most room in Horus' wing of the palace, what serves as his bedroom, you suddenly feel his hand on your shoulder. You would've turned around even if he hadn't done it for you, as he takes a knee to get more on even height with you. But even with it, you still have to almost look slightly up at him.

Suddenly that hand on your shoulder moves to your face, gripping your jaw and forcing you to look at him. That firm, irritated face has been replaced with an angry, irritated expression. His nose slightly wrinkles at the top, brow furrowed.

He holds your jaw tight, but you’re not fooled into thinking it’s anywhere near him putting in effort.

“What is your title.”

You’re confused for a moment, frightened by the look in his eyes, as he adjusts his grip. You try to stay his name, but it just comes out as a confused stutter. He reiterates with more clarity.

“What is the title I gave you.”

You grasp his wrist tight and whimper out:

“L-Lady Lupercal.”

The noise that arises from him is somewhere between a hum and a growl.

“Did you forget it while you were busy being a little coquette in front of my brother?”

You hadn’t; It had been the focus of your short conversation with Guilliman. You’d tried your hardest to be nothing but polite to him, with the formality expected of speaking to a Primarch. But this is all new to you; Whatever Horus saw wasn’t there, and you’re desperate to prove as such.

"N-No, he just came up to me and I was trying to be polite, Guilli-"

He swallows the name of his fellow primarch with his lips, pressing them against your own. It's angry; Forceful. You can feel his hot breath on your skin as he takes in heavy breaths, and how tense he feels. You moan softly into his mouth but even the brief moment of pleasure is overcast by Horus’ fuming anger.

He pulls away from your lips with a soft pop, and still in a kneel begins undoing the broach of his cape. Once it falls to the floor his eyes meet yours and he states:

"Take it off."

His sentence is vague and you stand unsure in the gargantuan room, as he now removes his wristguards. Once they're off, he puts a hand on your waist and pushes upward, disturbing the fabric of your dress. You feel it pull and stretch against his hand, as if it’s little more than parchment. He could ruin it all in one fell tear.

"I am being patient with you."

It's hard to disobey a primarch, especially one staring at you with those eyes. The fabric of your dress falls to the floor moments later, undone and forgotten. You step out from the circle it makes at your feet.

You imagine the only reason he hadn't simply destroyed it was after having it made just for you, in the colors of the Sons of Horus and to his exact specifications- their legion mother needed to be in worthy attire he has said- his patience won out over the potential days of headache.

But it feels like a blink you go from standing to being nearly swallowed by his sea of a bed, blankets tussled around your naked form. You think you might’ve backed up until you fell onto it, but it’s all a blur.

"The Crusade has taken much of my time, and since I have introduced you to my brothers, perhaps you have forgotten your place,” He says as he undoes the fastening of his belt.

Even on pieces of furniture meant to handle a man of such size it still buckles and bows underneath his weight, shifting your body as he cages you underneath him. His hand grips your thigh, and the sheer size forces them apart. Your body tenses and squirms underneath him.

To think such a short conversation would've had him so fuming, as his hand presses against your cunt. It makes your lips purse and and words that you might’ve considered saying don’t even leave your lips. His fingers roughly press through your folds curl inside of you, an aching stretch that has you squirming underneath him.

Though it’s not as if you have any chance of moving, even the slightest bit of his strength has you completely at his mercy.

You can feel his anger in every motion, but your blood is pounding in your ears enough that you can barely hear him. You think you might've said his name, told him to slow down, but even if you had he doesn't listen in the slightest.

Pulling his hand away from between your thighs he’s quick to flip you onto your stomach, and you lay exposed before you suddenly feel him press again the back of your thighs.

In an odd, impossible to explain way, you at times almost forget that your beloved towers over you at near or over double your height. That he possesses neigh untenable strength.

Now is a moment you do, as he presses his hips against your ass and buries you in the plush material of the bed.

Your fingers grip the blanket like a lifeline as he buries himself as deep as he possibly can, staying for a moment for seemingly little other reason than to torture you. Even with only the slightest bit of his weight on you, you feel trapped and barely able to move.

It's taken time for you to get used to taking Horus without hours of preparation- and while it still does take time, you'll always feel like he's overtaken your entire stomach. It’s that teetering on the edge of pain that has you gasping, a body not made for him being forced to. Horus is normally exceedingly gentle, but less so tonight. He is at least gentle enough as to not break you.

Whatever he saw that wasn't there between you and Guilliman, he seems intent on teaching you a lesson on not doing.

“Horus, pl-“

His massive hand grips the blanket beside your head as he grunts overtop of you.

“You are the legion mother of my sons.”

Your back arches and lips purse as his cock brushes against places so deep that it almost has your eyes watering. You swallow the massive knot in your throat and try not let out enough noise that passersby could hear.

“You will be the mother of my blooded sons, one day.”

The implication has your heart race with fear and something else as the primarch holds you down. You barely have the time to think about it, it only sends a jolt of feeling right down your spine into your gut.

Given his size it’s so easy to push you around, that he often times has to press on your shoulder and hold you like some sort of toy. Even the softest thrust can push you forward and nearly off of him; You don't have the strength to hold strong against it.

Worn and tired your nerves spark from so much sensation, cunt tightening around him. Horus continues to thrust into you with little care and your teeth grind, toes curling.

It feels good, so good, but it teeters on the edge of dangerous. Especially knowing his mood. Then again, sometimes even the simplest things are dangerous, with someone like him.

The primarch curses and swears in both high and low gothic as he finally cums inside of you, the inhuman amount leaking from you when he pulls out.

Horus looks over you, and it seems whatever you’d seen in him earlier is gone- for the time being. Even if you can't look directly at him, it's almost as if you can feel the emotion in the room change. More odd Primarch things, you assume. Not that it matters much in the end.

You lay tired, legs limp as your body aches.

Perhaps in the moment it may feel good, very much so, but oftentimes your body then reminds you that it isn’t made for a Primarch. Particularly one who decides not to be gentle with you.

There has time where no one sees even a hint of you for days, after he's done with you. He apologizes it for it, but you can always tell with that smile of his, he isn't actually apologetic.

He gently pushes you with a hand to that you roll on your back, and you look up at him worried, wondering if he's still angry.

“I am sorry, my love.” His words are sweet like wine, like they so often are, as his hand not gently holds your cheek. He isn't anymore, and you don't question it. You don't want to bring it back.

Though this isn't the first time he's become this way, though it is the first time he's done something physical in response.

“Now that my brothers know of you, I can’t help but feel as if they might take you from me, once they realize how perfect you are.”

There’s words you want to say, many of them, but you can’t manage it. Only a requited whisper of love is what you manage to say. Horus takes it well and his saccharine sweet smile always manages to pull you in and ignore the things behind it.

“I only wish for you to be mine. Always and forever.”

[polyamorouspunk]

I've got a bunch of sex ed stuff I'm just gonna toss into one ask have fun reading my essay

This may seem obvious to some people but definitely isn't to everyone, you can tap out of sex literally whenever. It doesn't matter if you or your partner are close to finishing, if you're uncomfortable and want to stop, you should be within your right to stop and be able to exercise that right.

Safewords can be used for completely vanilla sexual activity as well. Safe actions are similarly available to use for completely vanilla sexual activity. They aren't reserved for super kinky CNC play and BDSM, if you find that they would be useful for you...then use them!

More lube is better than too little lube. This applies to PIV, anal, scissoring, fingering, jacking someone off, tit fucking, thigh fucking, anything under the sun. You will prefer a messy clean up than a chafed body.

For kinky play this is important but for first timers and inexperienced people as well it's incredibly important for the people involved to do check-ins. See how everyone is feeling, see if anything needs to shift. This doesn't have to ruin the flow of the mood, a simple "does that feel good?" Can be a check-in if your partner agrees.

Take everything slow. It is your body. It is your genitalia. Your most sensitive zones. Take it slow. Take it easy. Take it at your own pace. If someone tries to rush you along and it's not something you both agreed would be hot to do then stop that encounter immediately.

For free-use kinksters or people with very grabby partners: you might want a non-verbal visual signal on whether or not you're safe to just grab and use. Me and my boyfriend have a bracelet I wear when I'm not in the mood to be played with. The opposite choice of a piece of jewelry that says you can be played with is also an option.

If you're physically disabled, work with your partner to find positions and techniques that work for you both without causing pain (or much pain). Sort out what to do afterwards to help you relax and heal from whatever pain is caused.

Aftercare is always important. Always. No matter what sexual activity happened. Check in with your partner, ask if it was good, if one person is more aware and physically able, get water and maybe snacks for both parties, clean up together, cuddle afterwards, that sort of stuff. It's very important to connect with your partner afterwards and make sure the sex was good for both of you, to make sure if it wasn't that something can be apologized for or fixed in the future.

Communicating your wants and needs is embarrassing but it's so important. Telling your partner what you want them to do is hot as hell and highly recommended so that both parties know what they're doing during the sexual encounter.

For the inexperienced, asking your partner to teach you how to pleasure them can also be incredibly hot (altho this may be my personal kinks creating a bias). If both you and your partner want to fuck each other, it's good to learn how you each best get off! What places to touch, what places to not touch, how to touch, what to say or not say, all sorts of things.

THIS! ALL OF THIS!

I love the attitude and tone taken in this ask. Thank you so much.

[genshindsau]

AU's and Fandoms

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

1) Genshin Consort AU

Synopsis: Reader is a royal in the imperial family. The reader will eventually become the empress. Many of the males that are characters in Genshin Impact will be either consorts or concubines.

Information: It is not exactly a open-ended reader who doesn't have any pre-determined qualities. However, I try to refrain from mentioning skin color, hair, or any features. Only exception is the eyes of the reader which are a blood red due to the background. Also the reader is able to alter their body type by means of magic so I describe the reader as having both male and female sex organs.

The reader's personality has some distinct qualities. I try not to set them in stone but due to the history and the experiences of the reader that comes from my AU, there are certain personality quirks.

Fandoms: Genshin Impact

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

2) Dom/Sub AU

Synopsis: During puberty individuals are determined to have a secondary gender. There are Doms, Subs, and Neutral. Both Dom's and Subs take up about 10% of the population. The remaining 80% are neutrals/switches. Genders like female and male do not determine the secondary gender. Set in modern universe or canon universe. Only Dom!reader accepted. Characters can be any gender.

Fandoms: Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Vanitas No Carte, Demon slayer.

Commands: These are a vital part in any relationship between a Sub and a Dom. The Dom will give out commands that can range from simple, sexual, or anything else the two agree on beforehand. The sub will then follow the commands.

Relationships: Not every pairing has to be romantic in nature. As long as everyone who is involved gives their consent, it can be primarily a sexual relationship or just a physical relationship in order to fulfill their instincts that come with their secondary gender.

Contracts: These are for more serious relationships. Again, it does not have to be romantic but the Dom and the Sub are more closely bound to each other. There is usually an actual paper document that is signed for more professional Dom/Sub relationships but more intimate one do not always have a more formal contract. Once a contract is agreed on, it is much more important to remain vigilant in terms of giving out commands, spending time together, giving/getting aftercare, etc. If they fall behind on their relationship and what they agreed on, it can result in sickness, dissociations, disorientation, sub or dom drop, etc.

Collars: Should be the most important and intimate endeavor when it comes to a Sub and Dom. A Dom collaring the sub binds them together. The collars can be a piece of jewelry or an actual collar. However, if both agree, dom's can be a given a 'collar' as well.

[gabessquishytum]

Hob is a very successful porn star, and one of the things he’s known for is that he’ll not only do all sorts of kinky shit, but his videos ALSO include/ showcase the aftercare. Hob thinks it’s both important and also in his opinion just as fun as the actual sex part.

Dream discovers his videos when he’s looking for kink stuff, but then the video…keeps going. And shows all this tender caring and checking in with everyone involved and cleaning up and tending any bruises or welts from the scene.

Dream watches every one of Hob’s videos in one night and slowly realizes he’s. Not been treated right by his partners. At all.

Months later, after leaving his shitty ex and feeling like he’s overstayed his welcome with his sister, he answers an ad looking for a roommate. He shows up to the flat and who should greet him but Hob himself, with a friendly smile and looking equally attractive in his jeans and jumper as he does when he’s naked.

Staring at him, Dream is trying to figure out how to say “hi I’m Dream, I jack off to your videos all the time and also your videos taught me to have standards, can I thank you with my mouth?” And then Hob is turning bright red and whoops Dream said that out loud.

He’s fully prepared to turn around and walk off a bridge or something, but then Hob laughs, good naturedly, “No need to thank me. I’m glad I could help. Maybe I could show you some behind the scenes specials?” He says with a wink, and Dream actually huffs out a laugh. There’s some lingering nerves when he accepts Hob’s invitation, still a little scarred from his past relationships, but all Hob has to do is hold his hand and Dream feels ready for anything.

He’s definitely signing that lease later.

-🦇

HAHAHAHA I'm glad Hob is an understanding sort of bloke!

He brings Dream right into the bedroom where he films some of his videos, and Dream’s heart immediately leaps into his mouth. Hob is pushing him down onto the bed, and suddenly he’s not quite sure what he’s got himself into… but then Hob’s hands are on his shoulders, thumbs digging into the knots at the base of his neck, rubbing all the places which ache with tension. Dream melts and Hob chuckles softly, still digging his fingers into all the good places. He moves up to rub Dream’s head too, massaging his scalp and tugging gently on his hair as Dream leans against him more and more. Hob kisses the jutting knobs of Dream’s spine and just holds the back of his neck with a gentle pressure. Before he knows it Dream is being fed half a bottle of water and a cereal bar, and Hob is just nuzzling against his neck and holding him. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve it but god, Dream never wants to leave this place.

“your exes are shit, if they never did any of this basic stuff for you.” Hob murmurs. And he’s not wrong. Intimacy has never been like this for Dream. He likes orgasms as much as the next person, but he’s always hoped for more. “it’s ok love, we can work on it. you can thank me with your mouth later.”

Dream never appears in any of Hob’s videos. But he’s definitely still Hob’s biggest fan. He’s not quite sure how he managed to become his favourite pornstar’s beloved boyfriend… but he has learned to give a mean head massage, so he’s pretty sure that Hob is going to keep him <3

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

a question about the farmer/lance/isaac poly relationship- do you perchance have any nsfw/smut headcanons about them? if not, maybe just some more romantic ones? i've been thinking about them and they've consumed my thoughts 🤲

Heh... 🌚

I have romantic headcanons, but not the smut one (or I did, but it got lost among the reblogs and didn't put it on the masterlist. Honestly, I had a big sense of déjà vu, that I'd sort of written earlier, or maybe not... Can't remember 🥲).

And now I'm going to fix that, hee hee~

Here some romantic headcanons with poly Lance/Isaac/Farmer I wrote earlier. And more headcanons.

Thanks for your ask, dear anon! 💕

_________________________________________

Some smut Lance/Isaac/Farmer headcanons:

⚠️ Warning: NSFW

Isaac and Lance have an unspoken competition to see who can bring Farmer to orgasm first and whose technique is better. Which drives Farmer crazier - the way Isaac kisses their neck, leaving hickeys, or the way Lance runs his nimble fingers along their thigh, giving them goosebumps? "A draw" is not acceptable here; these two must find the winner. But if Farmer is no longer able to give an answer, Lance and Isaac will have a competition next time, "to find out the winner at last."

Both adventurers are perfectly fine with switching roles, and letting Farmer dominate them both. Now it's the chaotic farmer's turn to have their own contest: which of the two adventurers will cum faster from their touch or from the vibrator on their dicks? Even here, Isaac and Lance, bound and at their partner's mercy, will try to come out victorious. In both cases, generally speaking, everyone wins, but when the three are doing aftercare, Lance will smirk and want a rematch where Isaac will back up his words.

Speaking of aftercare, it's important. After sexy time, according to two Castle Village adventurers, there should always be aftercare for each other. No excuses. Farmer too tired or too lazy to take care of themselves? Well, too bad, because Isaac would drag them to the bathroom to clean themselves up while Lance changed the sheets, not wanting to sleep on wrinkled fabric soaked with sweat, lube and semen. No whining, and Farmer will also be clean, with scratches (if any) treated and ready for bed. Although they complain, Farmer realise in the morning that Lance and Isaac are right.

In terms of bed preferences: Lance of all three is the most kinky (but not too extreme). Bondage, spanking, orgasm denial, temperature play, toys, and so on. Also not against humiliation, fire play, and other, more thrilling experiences, but within reason, if Isaac and Farmer really want it, and the three of them have prepared everything they need before they start, so that there are no injuries and there is definitely a stop word.

Generally speaking, Isaac has two modes in his preferences for spending quality time in bed - he either makes love with his partners in a rather gentle and vanilla way, or fucks them like a wild animal. But he also wouldn't mind something new offered by Lance and Farmer. He's usually in the sub role if it's something new, but to something where he already has experience (like spanking), then oh-ho-ho, Isaac will have that wolfish grin on his face... Everyone will be satisfied (Lance and Farmer will have a hard time sitting in a chair for a couple of days, but they're not complaining).

With at least two partners who are involved with magic, enchanted things, spells and potions will be frequent attributes in their intimate lives. It's not that Isaac is against it, he just doesn't see the point of them. That was before Lance put a special seal on his body that prevented him from cumming before he was supposed to, giving a good show for him and Farmer. And Farmer themselves in turn brewed up a couple of elixirs beforehand that will restore them all strength before their upcoming farm work/adventures. Okay, Isaac admits, there is something about these magical trinkets.

[thermodynamic-comedian]

thank u that cleared a lot up! the only thing that still confuses me is that I feel like sex itself usually involves a lot of those ideas of romance. like kissing and cuddling and flirting and all that? maybe I'm wrong in the assumption that sex involves that for everyone but that's why I was wondering how sexual attraction could be platonic originally. I do see the difference between a friend with benefits and a partner tho, so I see why that distinction could come in handy.

sex can include those things, yes, and physical affection in general is an important part of aftercare, but kissing and flirting aren't a necessary part of sex. sex can be "hey dude, wanna fuck?" "sure man, sounds fun."

sex can be entirely platonic, entirely romantic, or something else entirely. the only one who gets to decide which one it is is the people involved.

[misslavenderlady]

Hey friend:) so excited your requests are open!

Could I request a fic for subby Paul and a fem dom reader please?

Good Boy 🦴

Paul/Female!Reader

Summary: Paul may be mischievous, but he can be a very good boy when he's put in his place. You're the one to remind him of that~

Thank you @britany1997 for the request! I hope you enjoyed this! Everyone send her some love for her own writing!

WARNINGS: Nsfw/Smut/18+ Readers Only, BDSM, Dom/Sub, Femdom, Collar, Leash, Strap-on, Blowjob, Deepthroating, Pegging, Anal Sex, Lap Sex, Roughness, Hair-pulling, Degradation, Pet names, Spanking, Aftercare

Nobody outside of the Lost Boys knows this, but Paul has a special nickname; Puppy.  

Being a biker gang member who also happens to be a vampire doesn’t really seem like the kind of personality to warrant a cute name like that, but it’s for good reason. Paul has all the same characteristics as a puppy. He’s playful, energetic, affectionate, cuddly, chaotic, and of course, cannot stop humping things he likes. The name “Puppy” came very naturally because of this. 

David and the others thought it was cute at first. Having a wild and fun guy like Paul to keep everyone on their toes and boost the energy made for a great addition to their gang when he was turned years ago. While they all still love him, David didn’t always like having to tell Paul to calm down when he got too out of control.  

Sometimes he had to grab the back of his jacket to keep him from running straight into oncoming traffic. Other times, he had to hold him back before Paul started slaughtering jerks in front of several witnesses. There were even times he had to pull him off of Marko or Dwayne before their intense make-out sessions turned into very public sex.  

He adored Paul as his fellow vampire and gang member, but sometimes, it got a little too stressful when there were more important things to worry about. David realized something had to be done about the wild boy and his antics when there was one particularly annoying night out. It involved Paul getting too carried away with some play fighting with Marko after a hunt. When David attempted to break it up, he was met with Paul's fangs biting down on his arm.  

To be fair, everyone was still riled up from the bloodlust, and it was an accident at the moment. But David realized as their leader, he had to keep the others in line when they got too out of hand. The others certainly knew this, but their “puppy” needed to be taught a lesson.  

And David knew just who to ask to get the job done. 

“So you’re getting fed up with Paul’s mishaps, huh?” you asked.  

You were leaning up against the metal railing on the boardwalk's edge, sharing an evening smoke with David as the two of you talked about your newest member. You had been the least troublesome when you were still a newborn vampire, and it quickly earned you the title of being David’s right-hand woman. That meant following any orders given too. 

“Don’t get me wrong. The guy is very adorable and charming, but he has to learn to back off when things get a little too hectic,” David explained, letting smoke flow from his lips. “And I can’t think of a better person to make him behave than you” 

You smirked as David took another drag of his cigarette. With just that one statement, you knew just what the blond was implying. It wasn’t exactly a secret that you were an attractive woman and had some influence on getting people to do what you wanted. Paul was no exception to this, as he practically pounced on you at any given opportunity. If anyone could get Paul to be more obedient to their leader, it was you. 

“Does that mean I have your permission to…roughen him up a bit~?”  

David gave you a sly smile before taking the last bit of his cigarette and dropping it onto the ground and crushing it with his boot.  

“By all means, have as much fun with our pup as you want~” 

Paul didn’t always make a calm, casual entrance into a room. Sometimes he would fly in and do elaborate moves in the air, other times he’d be running while jumping over pieces of furniture without any concern about someone coming by and getting knocked over. This was one of his hectic nights, so once he had woken up from his daytime slumber, he came sprinting into the main lobby to find his friends.  

He was moving so fast that he barely had enough time to stop before tumbling over the couch. When he flipped over the side and landed on the seat cushion, he burst into a fit of giggles. Paul often had a goofy smile on his face when he was causing a ruckus.  

"You're awfully chipper tonight, baby" 

Paul's giggle fit subsided when he realized he wasn't alone. With his head turned in the direction the voice came from, he was greeted by the sight of your pretty face. You were sitting in your favorite chair, looking rather cozy with one leg crossed over the other.  

"Hey, Sugar!" Paul greeted you. "Wanna go out? Just you and me? We could go to the Tunnel-Of-Love on the boardwalk and fool around in the dark~" 

Figures that the very first thing Paul would want to do after waking up was getting frisky. A devious smirk stretched across your face. Paul would get what he wanted, but it was going to be on your terms.  

"No, I don't think so. You're not going anywhere" 

"Oh? And why is that?" he snorted.  

"Because you're being punished…Puppy" 

In a matter of seconds the playful expression on Paul's face washed away, swiftly replaced with worry. There were only two times when he was called "Puppy". When he was being teased for acting rowdy, and when he was being disciplined. It looked like the latter was happening tonight.  

"David hasn't been too pleased with your behavior lately. You've been a very naughty boy, haven't you?"  

Paul visibly gulped while shifting around on his spot on the couch. Rather than be splayed out across the surface, he was huddled more into one spot, making himself appear smaller. He always had a habit of doing that when he felt more submissive. It was so precious to see him act in such a way.  

"Answer me, Puppy" 

"Y-Yeah…I guess…" 

With your eyes still glued to him, you reached down to the side of your chair and picked up a special toy you had been saving for this special occasion. On the crook of your finger was a black, spiked collar. One that fit Paul’s neck perfectly. A long, silver chain dangled from it. Even from across the room, you could see how excited the sight of it got Paul. 

“On the floor. Hands and knees,” you ordered. “Crawl to me nice and slow~” 

Though you didn’t have powers as impressive as David’s, you were still able to entice Paul with your feminine charms. A shimmer reflected in his baby blue eyes as he did as he was told. Seeing such a powerful vampire down on his knees like a helpless pet made you feel invincible.  

You smirked as you moved, hips swaying with every inch he got closer to your seat. Paul really was a beautiful-looking guy, and you adored how sweet he was. Sweet and loyal as a pet should be. 

When he was right in front of your seat, he sat back on his knees and laid his hands nice and pretty over his legs. You smiled down at him as you leaned forward to clip his collar around his neck. A soft gasp fell from his lips as you tightened the leather, letting it grip around his stubbled skin. With the accessory right in place, you gripped the end of the leash, showing how much you were in control. 

“You’ve been acting up quite a bit, haven’t you, Puppy~?” you cooed, giving the leash a sharp tug. “Gotta do a little bit of retraining with you. Good thing I have just the toy to work with” 

Paul tilted his head in curiosity. He really was like a puppy. When you uncrossed your legs and revealed your surprise, his eyes widened in shock. 

A very noticeable bulge was stretched over the fabric of your jeans. It was a strap-on dildo tucked away, yet you grabbed and stroked your fingers over it as if it were a real cock. You even moaned softly as you did to make it more authentic. It was causing Paul to struggle with some tightness in his own pants.  

"Take my cock out and use that pretty little mouth, Puppy" 

"Yes, ma'am~!" 

The blond vampire was salivating as he pulled down your zipper and undid the button. He nearly got smacked in the face by your cock. It was quite a hefty toy but he could take it.  

His pretty, dark lashes fluttered as he leaned in for a kiss on the tip. No matter who he was giving head to, Paul always started with a kiss. His tongue slipped out to slide across the slit, rolling over the silicone material.  

Even if it was fake, it was an incredibly realistic toy. Every part from the skin tone to the texture to the small details made it look like the real thing. It was quite a pretty penny to buy, but the credit card you swiped off some random sucker on the boardwalk took care of that.  

Speaking of sucker~  

"Oooh what a good pup. You love your toy, dontcha~?" you cooed. Paul ran his tongue over the mighty length, intoxicated by the taste. You encouraged him to taste you some more by raking your fingers through his golden locks and pushing his face downward.  

He moaned around your cock, hungrily swallowing inch after inch. Paulie was a truly talented cock sucker. His moans were like music to you, so perfectly loud and sensual as he took you further into his mouth and down his throat. Even if you couldn’t feel the sensations like the boys could, seeing your blond lover suck on the toy was really turning you on.  

Wanting to get a little rough, you grabbed onto his hair with a tighter grip, pulling hard on it as you forced all the length into his mouth. Paul’s eyes widened, and he whimpered at the sudden sensation. Even with the lack of a gag reflex, he still choked on the massive length filling him up. 

While he was deepthroating your toy, Paul tried to be a little sneaky. You caught him running a hand over the massive bulge in his pants. Given you hadn’t given him permission to touch himself, the pup had to be punished so he would know better. 

“Oh no you don’t, Puppy,” you scolded him, forcing him off your toy. A strand of drool pulled from his mouth, showing off what a mess he made. “You don’t touch yourself without me telling you to. Bad dog~”  

Paul’s eyebrows turned upward and his lip quivered. He didn’t want to stop, but he didn’t like being scolded for acting like a bad boy. 

“You want to make it up to me, Puppy? Drop your pants and sit on my lap for a while. I’ll put you back in your place~” 

From your pocket, you pulled out a small bottle of lube, ready to use it to coat each inch of your cock. It was a massive toy that was fastened to the harness, but you knew Paul could take it. Though there was a bit of struggle and pain, he was such a little slut. So of course, while you lubed up, he did as he was told, pulling his white jeans and underwear down. His cock sprang out, painfully hard from all that you’d done to him. 

“Sit on my lap, baby boy. And don’t you even think about touching yourself. If you’re gonna cum, it’ll be from me fucking you” 

The vampire didn’t have to be told twice. He turned around so he could lower himself down onto your lap. With one hand you stroked his hair again, and with the other you used to line the toy up to his hole, eagerly pushing yourself inside of him. 

“A-Aah!! Oooh fu-fuck!” he whimpered. Poor thing was shaking like a leaf, and it only turned you on more. 

Paul couldn’t move for a little while. With how he was filled to the brim with your toy, it was damn near impossible for him to move. Still, you weren’t going to let that stop you. In a flash, you brought your hand down onto his ass, smacking the flesh as hard as you could. Poor thing really did sound like a pup with how he yipped. 

“Start moving, Puppy” 

You smiled to yourself as Paul nodded. He carefully brought his hips upward before bringing them back down to let the cock slip in and out. Paul was such a noisy little thing, and it was so fun to listen to what sweet sounds fell from his mouth.  

He had built up a steady rhythm, riding your fat cock with newfound ease. If he slowed down for even a moment, you spanked him again. With each slap against his perky ass, you began to wonder if he was doing such a thing on purpose so you would hit him. Paul was always quite the kinky thing. You didn’t mind playing along and giving him what he wanted.  

“God damn, you feel so good on my dick, baby,” you praised him. Each time he would grind against you, the base of the toy rubbed against your clit, adding to your own pleasure. It made you both sigh and moan with absolute bliss. You couldn’t get enough of him. 

While Paul was bouncing eagerly in your lap, you wrapped your hand around his leash once again. With a strong tug, you watched him throw his head back, crying out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. He really could take it like a champ. 

“Such a little slut. Your cock is twitching from me being rough with you. I know you can be a good pup for me,” you cooed, adding another tug for good measure. “If you’re a good boy and do what I say, you’ll get whatever you want, Puppy. That’s a promise~” 

“Fuck! FUCK! Please! Please!!” 

“What are you begging for, pup~?” 

Paul was such a mess. He whined and cried like a bitch in heat, and he rode your cock like one too. It made him beg louder.  

“PLEASE LET ME CUM! Please let me! It hurts!!” 

You couldn’t help but giggle in delight at how adorable he sounded. Feeling generous, you loosened your grip on the leash so he could get a little bit of his breath back. Your roughness was replaced with a touch of sweetness when you leaned forward to kiss the top of his head. 

“Awww Puppy. Go on and cum for me. Make a mess while I’m balls-deep inside of you~” 

Paul rode your cock faster than ever, bouncing his ass up and down over and over. Before you knew it, he was crying out in ecstasy as he came hard all over his belly. His body shook harshly from the intensity of his orgasm, and it nearly caused him to fall over. Thankfully, you were quick enough to wrap your arms around him and pull him close so he wouldn’t do so. 

He had been a very good boy for you, so it was natural that you rewarded him for behaving so nicely. You carefully pulled the toy out of his ass, letting him relax for a while. You quickly undid the collar around his neck and replaced the harsh rubbing sensation with soft kisses against his skin. Paul sighed, grateful to get a little TLC from you. 

“There we go, Puppy. You’re so good for me. Such a sweet boy~” you cooed in his ear. Paul shifted around in your lap so he could snuggle up against you. Out of all of the Lost Boys, he was the most affectionate when it came to getting aftercare. 

“I want you to be on your best behavior from now on, Paulie,” you instructed him. “David can’t always be around to check on you. Gotta behave yourself so you don’t get into trouble. Can you do that for me?” 

Paul smiled softly, eyes fluttering shut as he relaxed in your arms. He nuzzled up against you, feeling better than ever. At that moment, he would have done anything you asked of him.  

“I can do that. I promise” 

“Good boy~” 

[personalzombie-tv]

There's so many things i wanna say re: informed consent and aftercare in regards to ttrpgs and other roleplay situations but i can not get the ideas in the right order. Gonna give it my best shot though.

A lot of people who suck have been yelling on tiktok about consent surveys and checkins becoming more popular with mainstream DnD. And like- it's just like in bdsm really. You gotta know what you're getting into, provide continuous consent to it, and have a way out if it gets to be too much. The only real difference between sexily pretending to be someone's maid or whatever and pretending to be an orc in a massive collaborative storytelling session is the content of the pretending and how likely anyone involved is gonna get their rocks off to it. It's still the same kind of effect on the brain and you're gonna be processing emotions that come from that. It's super important to know exactly what to expect and be able to set hard (and soft) boundaries about what you are and are not ok with experiencing there.

There's a reason safewords are considered so important in a lot of bdsm circles even when the scene isn't a situation where a plain "no" might go ignored. It's an immediate stop and return to the real world outside of the play. Having that in non-sexy rp is an amazing tool. It lets the gm or other players know "hey this needs to stop now" without having to say those words or worry about whether it's a full stop or a pause. It pulls everyone out immediately and gets them on the same level. I think anyone who's unexpectedly encountered more than they could handle in a game can appreciate the ability to do that.

The thing I haven't seen talked about as much as that though is the concept of aftercare. Like, especially in high rp settings where emotions are running high you gotta be able to take the time afterward to calm down. You need to be able to talk to your friends and remember you're playing a game, they still care about you even if your character and theirs just tried to murder each other. Maybe it doesn't get talked about much cause there's no real word for it that doesn't have the sex connotation but we really should be. I've seen first hand how dropping after intense rp can hurt someone and leave them not wanting to continue playing. You gotta make room to take care of your friends. Especially in online gaming where you can't exactly just hand them a slice of pizza and tell them how well they did acting and how much you love them.

I don't know how to end this. I've just been thinking a lot about these things. I'm glad consent forms and check ins are becoming more normalized in the gaming space. Good for everyone that that's happening even if the old guard dudebros are pissed off about it

[yesmissnyx]

wrt: the anon asking how to find a dom [switching my giant lever labeled “SWITCH” to the “Domme” side], I totally agree with everything you said, especially about it being easier than people think to set yourself apart as a sub. Inexperienced or new subs often think they need to show that they’re more submissive than other subs, but (as you know) that’s rarely an issue. What sets desirable subs apart is knowing what they want, and being excellent communicators. The thing that determines most of all how hard I can go in a scene is my confidence in a sub to use their safeword if they need it.

Also, something to add for people new to kink out there: remember that BDSM is, basically, a game that two (or more) people are playing. It can be a very intense game, physically and emotionally. It can and sometimes should *feel* very real. But underneath that, after that, it’s consenting adults playing. This is one of the reasons why the negotiation part is so important. It may seem unsexy to sit down and be like “okay I want to do this, this, and that.” “right, so this and this are a yes for me, but that is a no. how would you feel about also doing *this*?” and so on, but it is absolutely crucial to healthy, fun, and safe play. Established couples and play partners may not have to do this every time, but that kind of always-on or always-available dynamic does not happen overnight. Also, remember that negotiations include aftercare (FOR ALL PARTIES!) and what to do if a scene goes poorly. And scenes will go poorly sometimes.

Finally, a few basic things that would be red flags for me personally when meeting a prospective sub:

- “I just want a mommy to take care of me”. Being taken care of is a common fantasy, and sometimes a very rewarding one. But if someone is leading with that it will probably make me think they haven’t internalized that it’s a *fantasy*, and are looking for something that would be a very unequal relationship

- “I don’t have any limits”. Anyone who says this is either lying or has no idea what they’re talking about. Everyone has limits, and having fewer limits doesn’t make you a more advanced or desirable sub (or dom!). The opposite, if anything.

- calling me by a title without first being given explicit permission to do so

- any attempt to short-circuit or circumvent the negotiation step. I’ve had everything from physical seduction to emotional belittling deployed against me to avoid having matter-of-fact negotiations. it will not work on an experienced domme, and will get you a reputation as an unsafe person to play with. and even in major cities, most kink scenes are small; your reputation matters.

Okay, enough unsexy scolding from me. Subs: there are more doms than you think, but we usually don’t post that much about it online because frankly, a lot of subs just do not be knowin how to act. Go to munches, go to meetups, make friends. Get invited to play parties and introduced to potential play partners. [Tip: if you can’t find any munches open to the public, try your local ren faire instead ;)]

xoxo

10/10, no notes!!! All excellent advice!

Also, omg, the note about ren faires...call me out why don't you 🤣

But seriously, go where the nerds are. The more costumes involved, the better your odds get.