#after the previous one from this artist I decided to get one for the other seasons too. a few days after autumn started I sent this
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silvertsundere · 17 days ago
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Rinko and Michika enjoying Autumn by omio! 🍂
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gootarts · 1 year ago
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as of 8/3, the most recently updated version of this post is here (it's a reblog of this exact post with more info added)
as a lot of you know, limbus company recently fired its CG illustrator for being a feminist, at 11 pm, via phone call, after a bunch of misogynists walked into the office earlier that day and demanded she be fired. on top of this, as per korean fans, her firing went against labor laws---in korea, you must have your dismissal in writing.
the korean fandom on twitter is, understandably, going scorched earth on project moon due to this. there's a lot currently going on to protest the decision, so i'm posting a list here of what's going on for those who want to limit their time on elon musk's $44 billion midlife crisis impulse purchase website (if you are on twitter, domuk is a good person to follow, as they translate important updates to english). a lot of the links are in korean, but generally they play nicely with machine translators. this should be current as of 8/2.
Statements condemning the decision have been issued by The Gyeonggi Youth Union and IT Union.
A press conference at the Gyeonggido Assembly will occur on 8/3, with lawmakers of the Gyeonggi province (where Project Moon is based) in attendance. This appears driven by the leader of the Gyeonggi Youth Union.
The vice chairman of the IT union--who has a good amount of experience with labor negotiations like these--has expressed strong support for the artist and is working to get media coverage due to the ongoing feminist witch hunts in the gaming industry. Project Moon isn't union to my knowledge, but he's noted that he's taken on nonunion companies such as Netmarble (largest mobile game dev in South Korea) by getting the issue in front of the National Assembly (Korea's congress).
Articles on the incident published in The Daily Labor News, Korean Daily, multiple articles on Hankyoreh (one of which made it to the print edition), and other news outlets.
Segments about the termination on the MBN 7 o' clock news and MBC's morning news
Comments by Youth Union leaders about looking into a loan made to Project Moon via Devsisters Ventures, a venture capital firm. Tax money from Gyeonggi province was invested in Devsisters in 2017, and in 2021, Devsisters gave money to Project Moon. The Gyeonggi Youth Union is asking why hard-earned tax money was indirectly given to a company who violates ESG (environmental, social and governance) principles.
Almost nonstop signage truck protests outside Project Moon's physical office during business hours until 8/22 or the company makes a statement. This occurs alongside a coordinated hashtag campaign to get the issue trending on Twitter in Korea. The signage campaign was crowd-funded in about 3 hours.
A full boycott of the Limbus Company app, on both mobile and PC (steam) platforms. Overseas fans are highly encouraged to participate, regardless if whether they're F2P or not. Not opening the app at all is arguably the biggest thing any one person can do to protest the decision, as the app logs the number of accounts that log on daily. For a new gacha such as Limbus, a high number of F2P daily active users, but a small number of paying users is often preferable to having a smaller userbase but more paying users. If the company sees the number of daily users remain stable, they will likely decide to wait out any backlash rather than apologize.
Digging up verified reviews from previous employees regarding the company's poor management practices
Due to the firing, the Leviathan artist has posted about poor working conditions when making the story. As per a bilingual speaker, they were working on a storyboard revision, and thought 'if I ran into the street right now and got hit by a car and died, I wouldn't have to keep working.' They contacted Project Moon because they didn't want their work to be like that, and proposed changes to serialization/reduction in amount of work per picture/to build up a buffer of finished images (they did not have any buffer while working on Leviathan to my knowledge). They were shut out, and had to suck it up and accept the situation.
Hamhampangpang has a 'shrine' section of the restaurant for fans to leave fan-created merch and other items. They also allow the fans to take this merch back if they can prove it's theirs. Fans are now doing just that.
To boost all of the above, a large number of Korean fanartists with thousands of followers have deleted their works and/or converted their accounts from fanart accounts to accounts supporting the protests. Many of them are bilingual, and they're where I got the majority of this information.
[note 1: there's a targeted english-language disinformation campaign by the website that started the hate mob. i have read the artist's tweets with machine translation, and they're talked about in the second hankyoreh article linked above: nowhere does she express any transphobic or similarly awful beliefs. likewise, be wary of any claims that she supported anything whose description makes you raise eyebrows--those claims are likely in reference to megalia, a korean feminist movement. for information on that, i'd recommend the NPR/BBC articles below and this google drive link of english-language scholarly papers on them. for the love of god don't get your information about a feminist movement from guys going on witch hunts for feminists.]
[note 2: i've seen a couple people argue that the firing was for the physical safety of the employees, citing the kyoani incident in japan. as per this korean fan, most fans there strongly do not believe this was the case. we have english-translated transcripts of the meeting between the mob and project moon; the threats the mob was making were to......brand project moon as a feminist company online. yes, really. male korean gamers aren't normal about feminism, and there's been an ongoing witch hunt for feminists in the industry since about 2016, something you see noted in both the labor union statements. both NPR and the BBC this phenomenon to gamergate, and i'd say it's a pretty apt comparison.]
let me know if anything needs correction or if anything should be added.
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neiptune · 6 months ago
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surreal, but nice
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cw: 7k wc, female reader, strangers to lovers, osamu doesn't exactly know how to handle one of the most famous music artists in japan suddenly popping in onigiri miya, inspired by notting hill, my sappy entry for the romcom collab hosted by @bloompompom! thank you @yellow-sword-lily, this fic is also a little yours :)
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Miya Osamu is a creature of habit.
He gets up fairly early, showers, never leaves the small apartment without fixing himself a nutritious breakfast, more or less knows and is therefore prepared to what to expect from each particular day.
Downstairs there’s his beloved shop, a dormant creature he gently stirs from sleep each morning. When he doesn’t have to head to the market to select and order the freshest products, Osamu starts the day by contacting all his suppliers and arranging the deliveries. He then checks the inventory, reviews reservations, welcomes the only other chef to discuss any special preparations or new experiments. It’s not unusual for him to check his emails, monitor the website and official social media of the shop, the one thing he actually hates doing because he knows damn well one negative comment will ruin his day, especially since there’s nothing he can do to rectify mistakes made days, sometimes weeks before.
He has a chef, one dishwasher, three servers, two food delivery drivers and that’s about it. Osamu Miya is the owner, manager, host, executive chef, server and cashier of onigiri Miya. He juggles management skills, culinary talent and business acumen just perfectly. He’s prepared and knows exactly what each day has in store for him.
Until you happen.
Osamu has been cooking for almost three hours by the time the shop officially opens at 11AM. It’s not unusual for new faces to come in from time to time, despite his clientele being more or less established, but it is rare to hear the little door chime ring so soon. Except if his dumb brother happens to be in town.
But you’re not his dumb brother. You’re a new and yet strangely familiar face, even hidden behind thick sunglasses and a beret that one could deem more appropriate to a parisian getaway rather than a Kansai one.
“Morning” you offer a little bow, hesitant by the door “you’re open, right?”
“Uh, sure” he smiles, still a little uncertain after a moment of astonishment “I don’t often have clients for breakfast. What can I get ya?”
“I’ve been told this is the best onigiri shop in town. I’ll let you decide”
You seem to consider your options for a moment, then decide to sit at the closest empty table. Osamu would usually provide more than a nod: he’d make conversation, ask questions. Forming bonds with whoever visits his shop and trusts his food is his favorite part of the day, as well as a great activity to engage in while his hands are busy putting the rice into molds.
“Close that mouth” is the only thing he utters under his breath, glancing at the server who set your table “yer catching flies”
“But it’s her!” Hiro squeaks as silently as humanly possible “I’m gonna ask for an autograph”
“You will do no such thing”
“We could hang it in the shop!”
“Go help in the kitchen, Minato called in sick today. I’ll handle this”
Hiro disappears behind closed doors but only after batting his freakishly long lashes to his boss, a heartbreaking disappointed look on his face.
Osamu takes a deep breath and squeezes the molds together, an action executed as gently as possible to keep the fluffy texture that makes his onigiri the best in town.
He knows you, of course he knows you. Not only your face was on any available surface for the entirety of the previous summer (posters, billboards, magazine covers to advertise your first ever concert in the Koshien stadium), he’s also pretty sure in high school Atsumu had perpetually ruined the walls of their shared room with some crappy adhesive squares used to hang your poster.
Osamu is not really a dedicated listener, he knows a couple of your most famous songs and that your success is damn near planetary. You have a house in Tokyo but spend most of the year in America, California if he recalls correctly, and you tour across Europe as well. Yet, it’s been easy to pick what to serve you. The gourmet options such as salmon roe or roast beef are off the table: they don’t make new clients feel special. What new clients need is a taste of authenticity, something that reminds them of home, and don’t you look just like the kind of person who could use some of that?
Osamu decides on pickled plum, tuna mayo and bonito flakes. One serving usually consists of three onigiri but he can’t resist adding an extra treat for you, a tenmusu onigiri. He’s recently perfected the recipe with an egg-free tempura batter that is still thick enough to absorb his special sauce.
He hopes it’s not creepy that he lingers by your table after he brings your meal: celebrity or not, you’re a new client. And Osamu can’t resist observing the wander taking over customers who are unfamiliar with his kitchen, as soon as they take the first bite. He hopes you are no exception.
“If this is an onigiri” you lock eyes with him and smile, glorious, radiant “what the hell have I been eating until now?”
“Probably not the best in town” he grins, proud, a slight blush already coating his cheeks. Damn it, he’s tempted to turn the baseball cap once more, let the brim shield his awkwardness. But that would be totally lame.
“Is it a family business?”
“No. It’s just… mine”
You hum, busy chewing on another bite. Then you swallow and ask another question, invite him to sit eventually, then apologize because he’s probably busy (he is) and has things to do (he does) but this is never going to happen again for Osamu, because he’s not Atsumu. And so he sits and makes conversation like a normal human being that definitely isn’t obsessively dwelling on how beautiful you are, how different your voice sounds when you’re not singing, how much he’d hate for a client to come in and pop that bubble. Which is exactly what happens and he doesn’t like it one bit how you interrupt your chuckle, lower your head, hunch your shoulders in an attempt to hide. He doesn’t like that he has to excuse himself, call Hiro back form the kitchen, make conversation with Suzuki-san, listen while he describes all his latest hospital visits in horrifying detail.
You look at him from time to time, the quiet shop owner suddenly turned chatty sparks your curiosity. He’s skilled with his hands and genuinely interested in what the person who must be an habitué has to say. He’s attractive, too. Especially as he tries to disguise the occasional glances directed your way or the disappointment that flashes in his eyes when you get up and start collecting your things.
“Can I get the check, please?” you approach the counter, pretend not to notice his hesitation. Osamu decides against indulging in the “it’s on the house” cliche, opts for treating you as any other client. With the exception of a small discount you won’t even notice.
“That was the best breakfast I had in a while” you collect the receipt and put in your pocket.
“You should come back, then. To have another” Osamu cringes internally as soon as the words leave his mouth and Suzuki-san’s chuckle makes him want to dig a hole to disappear into. But you smile, despite probably having heard the corny line a million other times, and tell him that you just might.
It would’ve been perfect: a beautiful ending to a glorious encounter. It could’ve been. If only you didn’t turn around so abruptly, a small shriek echoing across the shop as you came face to face with Mai, the sudden sound and panic causing her to jump and spill the fresh iced tea from the jug in her hand all over your painfully clean, crisp, starched, white button down.
You both freeze, your mouth open in a silent scream, an horrified look in Mai’s eyes that would’ve been comical on literally any other occasion. Osamu wishes he would’ve went with the “it’s on the house” cliche.
“Oh my god! Oh god! It’s you! I mean, I’m sorry!” Mai’s voice comes out an octave too high “my god, I’m so sorry!”
“Well, this is great” you frantically grab a handful of napkins from the counter and attempt to dab the mess on your shirt “I have a meeting in half an hour!”
“Please, take my uniform! I will pay for the dry cleaning!”
“Actually” Osamu chimes in as politely as possible, trying his best not to let his anxiety get the best of him “don’t take this the wrong way but, uh, I live upstairs. You can get cleaned up and…”
“You’re kidding, right?” your astonished look is almost glacial. It makes him falter just slightly.
“Or ya can leave with a giant orange stain on yer wet, probably uncomfortably cold shirt?”
“Miya-san!” Mai’s hiss and your shocked expression make him think that sarcasm probably wasn’t a good idea. Osamu sighs.
“Listen, I’m really sorry. These are the keys, you can go on your own, I promise the bathroom’s clean”
You eye him for a few seconds more, then decide against grabbing the keys from his hand.
“I’m gonna need a change of clothes”
Osamu blinks a couple times, dumbfounded. His clothes? You’re asking to wear… his clothes?
“Sure! Yeah, sure. Come on” now his voice sounds uncharacteristically squeaky and he clears his throat as you follow him up the stairs, Suzuki-san’s good grief still ringing in his ears.
Thank god he cleaned the entire apartment just the day before. As much as he likes to brag about being the tidy twin, deep down he knows he’s just as messy as Atsumu.
Osamu tries hard not to look at you, leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed while he rummages in his drawers in search of something that could fit you. He shortly wonders if it’d be a good idea to offer a complementary bento box to make up for the disaster Mai caused.
“I’m genuinely sorry” he starts rambling because the silence is unbearable and some of Atsumu’s genes really do take over sometimes “the worst incident we ever had at the shop was my brother almost choking on his dinner. I had to perform the heimlich maneuver, it wasn’t pretty” god, where the hell are this clean, not embarrassing shirts?
“Guess this one will go down in history” your voice is less sharp now, which relieves him.
“Oh, no. I will never tell anyone about this, ever. Mai and Suzuki-san will have to sign an nda. A proper, legally binding one”
The laugh you offer sounds weirdly intimate in the small space of his bedroom, it makes the tips of his ears hot. Finally, he’s able to dig out a decent, basic shirt you accept by thanking him softly. When you lock yourself in the bathroom, Osamu rushes to the kitchen to tidy up the mess he’s left behind after that morning’s breakfast. No time to concentrate on how you’re actually, genuinely in his home, cleaning yourself in the same bathroom he showered in, without a shirt on.
No one’s ever going to believe him. Hell, he may not believe it himself by the end of the day.
“Hey” he jumps at your voice, sudden and closer than expected. You look good in his basic shirt, it suits you somehow. Did you shove your own in one of the bags you left by the door?
“Hey” Osamu says back and cringes for the millionth time “are ya hungry?”
You smile when he shuts his eyes for a second, right after the silly question leaves his mouth.
“Not hungry”
“Right. Of course. Thirsty? I have really good tea, from Shizuoka. And orange juice” he pauses for a second, then adds “or water”
Your smile grows, almost melts into a giggle. “Not thirsty either”
“Okay” he clears his throat “how about dessert? I made some mitarashi dango just yesterday”
“I have a meeting to attend”
“Oh. Sure, yeah, that makes sense” he wants to bash his head against the wall “I’ll walk you out. To downstairs” thank fuck ‘Tsumu isn’t there, he’d never let him live this down. Jesus.
You precede him to the door, gather your bags, then softly thank him for the shirt.
“Nice meeting you, Osamu” he nearly explodes when you say his name, no honorifics whatsoever. How do you even know? He hasn’t carried a name tag on his shirt for years.
“It was nice to meet you too” there’s no time to dwell on dumb, pointless questions “surreal, but nice”
He thinks if your smile could conjure waves, he’d gladly give up all the oxygen in his lungs and drown in them. Has someone ever looked as beautiful while smiling at him? He doesn’t think so. He can’t think. Not when you’re leaning closer, not when your arms are suddenly wrapped around his neck, not when you’re pressing your lips to his. Holy shit. You’re pressing your lips to his. And he’s forgotten how to breathe, let alone kiss. Osamu just freezes, like a marble statue, like a teenager who’s never touched a woman before. Right as he’s about to swallow the shock and fucking move, you’re already pulling away, eyes not leaving his despite the slight self-consciousness swarming in those irises.
And then you disappear, just like the dream he believed you were, all that’s left is an empty spot by the door and his heart slamming against a pathetically ill-equipped ribcage.
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La Suite is one of the most luxurious hotels in the prefecture and Osamu feels out of place with the 30 onigiri order he’s carrying past a french restaurant and a traditional japanese one, all soft carpeting, dim lights and wide windows. So different from his.
He timidly explains that he’s there to deliver an order to a certain Bennet-san, who for some reason insisted he’d be the one bringing it to her hotel. They look at him funny but let him through and give the coordinates: top floor, superior double room. A woman meets him the second he steps out of the elevator and sternly asks him to follow her, a silly part of him wonders if he’s about to get murdered in one of the top 25 hotels in Japan. But then she knocks on a door right before swinging it open and he doesn’t even get to explain that he’s not supposed to get inside, she can take the bloody bag and he’ll be on his merry way, but once again Osamu fails to determine what the day holds in store for him.
Once more, it’s you. A less preppy version, one that seems so small in such a gigantic room, the sea breeze blowing from the terrace gracefully lifting up the hem of a tennis skirt you immediately fight to keep down as you promptly get up from the couch.
“Hi” he says, so dumbfounded he barely notices the door closing behind him.
“Miya-san” you bow, keep your eyes down, no sign of a smile he could by now deem familiar “I’m sorry for the trouble, I know the hotel is pretty far from the restaurant and you must be busy. This will only take a second”
Osamu’s brows furrow, confusion evident in the way he cocks his head. You don’t catch it, because your eyes are glued to the floor. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I don’t know what came over me, I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me”
His eyes soften as part of the tension leaves his shoulders. Truth is, Osamu is glad you’re apologizing: despite how beautiful and dreamy you may be, life is not quite a movie and he doesn’t exactly appreciate being blindsided by a stranger. He doesn’t really understand what made you think kissing him would be a good idea (was his awkardness interpreted the wrong way? Did his stare linger on your smile a second too long?) but he’s certain you meant no harm. A shitty person certainly wouldn’t take time out of her day to leave an autograph on a napkin, especially right after half a jug of iced tea was spilled on her shirt just minutes before. To Hiro, with love.
After a moment, he clears his throat. “Can ya look at me?”
You meet his gaze hesitantly, mouth a thin line of harsh disapproval directed at yourself. For a second, you remind him of someone and he almost breaks into a smile.
“Thank you for apologizing. We’re good”
“Are you certain?”
“Yeah!” he chuckles “you didn’t have to place such a big order”
You blink twice, then start nervously fiddling with your fingers “ah, actually I didn’t do it to… well, those onigiris are just really good. I wanted to take some extra ones with me”
“You’re leaving?” he doesn’t mean to sound disappointed, especially not while you’re so intentionally keeping your distance.
“Kinda. My record label rented a house in the countryside, I’ll spend most of the summer locked in, trying to finish my new album. I couldn’t do it in America, I missed being home but didn’t want to endure Tokyo’s chaos so I ended up picking Hyogo. Sorry, you didn’t ask to know all that” you chuckle tensely “we leave tomorrow and I didn’t want to go without apologizing first. That’s all. You may go now”
Osamu hums. “I may go? As in I’m excused?” he laughs when your painfully stoic expression melts into sheer horror.
“No! Of course not, I didn’t mean it like that!”
“You take yourself too seriously” he grins “I’m just messin�� with ya”
“That’s not very nice of you”
“Would you compare it to kissing a stranger out of the blue?”
“Oh god” you hide your overheated face in your hands “you said we’re good!”
“And we are” Osamu steps closer to gently place the bags still in his hands on the marble topped pedestal coffee table. It’s just fun to tease you, one of the many irritating habits he shares with his brother.
His brother. Osamu looks up, a risky desire taking shape in his head and threatening to spill over the tip of his tongue.
“I’m really sorry, Miya-san” you repeat and he doesn’t love that you’re now calling him that “uh, this is your shirt. Cleaned and ironed. Thank you for…”
“Whatcha doing tonight?”
You freeze, paper bag still in hand. “Uhm, nothing interesting”
“No packing?”
“My manager does that for me”
He chuckles. “Right. Chances you’d want to spend your last night in the city at an even less interesting birthday party?”
Osamu waits patiently while you weigh your options, recognizes the confusion in your hesitant stare but doesn’t quite understand why there’s a weary vibration to your voce when you accept, the slight disappointment that flashes across your features.
It’s only fair, you think as he parts from the room with a smile and the command to secure those onigiris in a fridge. If showing you off to his friends like some valuable conquest is the way he wants to even the score, you’re in no position to deny him. You’re the one at fault and you’ve been given a chance to make up for it by wearing the facade you wear best.
Then why does it feel so disheartening, this time?
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When Shinsuke opens the door, he’s more surprised by your presence than the carefully wrapped gift in your hands. Not that he doubted Osamu: why send a message to the group chat telling everyone that a) he was bringing someone and b) they should’ve absolutely not behaved any differently than usual if not better (in bold), if he wasn’t actually going to show up with a plus one?
Still, a small part of him did wonder if Atsumu’s and Rintaro’s relentless teasing finally got the best of him. Shinsuke doesn’t think that his friend works too much or that he should start “looking around” before “his hair starts greying again only this once naturally”. He remembers Osamu rolling his eyes at his brother when he implied that at this rate he’s gonna have to tie the knot with the restaurant, only to then space out for most of the evening as everyone else found new topics to migrate toward.
In short, Shinsuke wondered if Osamu was going to come up with a last minute excuse to justify the empty spot next to him at the table. But it seems that spot is going to be taken after all, by you nonetheless.
“Nice to meet you, Kita-san” you smile after Osamu introduces you by your name and nothing else, not a wink, not even a subtle hint or a reasonable explanation “happy birthday”
Shinsuke accepts the gift with a polite thank you and he’s almost made sure you could preserve a nice, normal memory of stepping foot into his house for the first time, of course failing to consider the Hinata factor.
“Thank god, Osamu, I’m so hungry- holy shit! Is her your gift? I only brought a cap that says farm hair don’t care!” there’s a strange but seemingly friendly redhead looking at you with eyes so wide you fear they might roll out of their sockets.
“Shoyo, any chance you checked the chat today?” Osamu smiles at him widely but Kita recognizes the tension at the corners.
“What? Of course not, I was busy picking a cute gift” Hinata smiles too but his excitement is genuine “hello, nice to meet you! Please come in, you can help us set the table!”
You chuckle and meet Osamu’s horrified eyes for a second, his posture relaxes as your gentle reassurance puts him at ease. I’ll be in the other room, then. Leave it to Hinata to make a gigantic deal out of a special guest only to treat her as one of his buddies ten seconds later. You seemed comfortable, though, as one always feels whenever Shoyo happens to be around.
“Who is she?” Shinsuke doesn’t mean for his tone to be so conspiratorial but he keeps it low, just in case you might still hear them.
“A friend. Kinda. Ya wouldn’t believe me” Osamu takes his jacket off and hangs it by the door, then picks up the plethora of bags from the floor and makes his way into his friend’s kitchen.
“No, I mean… who is she? Why does Shoyo know her?” Shinsuke follows suit, intent on helping him distribute all the food he’s brought in the different plates he has prepared. Osamu shakes his initial surprise off with a chuckle.
“Only one of the most famous pop music artists in Japan”
Kita stills his movements for a second, then absorbs the new information with a simple nod. “Right. And you met her at the shop”
“How d’ya know?”
“Where else would you be meeting a pop music artist?”
“Don’t make it sound so obvious” Osamu pulls a face and Shinsuke’s eyes twinkle with mischief.
“Well, she’s here. With you. Is it like… a date?”
“No” the peremptory answer comes embarrassingly fast “it’s her last night in the city, she’s here because she didn’t have anything better planned”
“But you invited her”
“Yes”
“Because you like her”
“I don’t-” Osamu gestures vaguely with his hands “it’s not like that. ‘Tsumu used to have a poster of her face in our room, for fuck’s sake”
Kita hums. “So what you actually mean is it can’t be like that”
“I don’t see the difference”
“I do”
“Well-” a loud commotion Osamu has been trained for over two decades to instantly recognize as his brother’s voice, makes the words die in his throat. By the time him and Shinsuke return to the colorfully decorated living room (courtesy of an overly enthusiastic Hinata and one resigned Rintaro), Atsumu is already talking your ear off and seemingly invading your personal space multiple times as he follows you around the table you’re setting with Suna like a golden retriever on a sugar overload.
“Shoyo, you were supposed to keep her safe” Osamu glares at his brother and takes a mental note to scold Aran too, later. For snickering.
Hinata doesn’t get the chance to defend himself because of course Atsumu’s the only one who could outshine that intense excitement with his own.
“Samu! What the hell? If this is yer gift to Shin, what are ya plannin’ to get me exactly?”
“Can everyone stop assuming she’s here as a thing and not as a person?” it comes out harsher than intended and Osamu feels his face grow hot when all those present simply stare at him. When you stare at him.
Suna clears his throat.
“Cut him some slack, he came out of the bathroom and we could barely convince him she’s not a hallucination” you chuckle at that, which makes the ever stoic Rintaro look away with a faint blush blossoming on his pale cheeks.
“Wait” Atsumu looks at you, then at his brother and his brows become progressively furrowed “she’s here with you? As in, you invited her? And she said yes?”
Osamu wonders why he thought a simple admonishment in the group chat would be enough. He has half an idea of shoving an onigiri right into his brother’s loud mouth and not perform any maneuver whatsoever when the rice obstructs his airways.
“Actually, I wanted to come” you chime in so gently it takes a few moments for him to register the words “I’m leaving tomorrow and when Miya-san mentioned it was one of his friends’ birthday, I shamelessly asked if I could tag along. Hope I’m not a bother”
Kita is looking at you the same way Osamu is, puzzled. Hinata almost chokes on his coke and starts coughing profusely, so much that Aran has to lend him a napkin.
“A bother? No, of course not!” his nose might be on fire but by god, he physically cannot let you believe such nonsense for a second too long.
Atsumu’s mouth hangs wide open, brows still knit that make his expression overall hilarious “you make her call you Miya-san? Yikes, bro” he turns to you and makes a scene of slamming a hand on his chest “please, feel free to call me ‘Tsumu. I think we’re intimate enough by now”
“Given that we took five selfies and you made me sign my name on your abs, I also think we’re intimate enough” your grin seems genuine, which only startles Osamu more.
“Ya made her do what?” oh, there are probably not enough words in the japanese vocabulary for the way he’ll have to apologize at the end of the night.
“It’s fine, I didn’t mind” you shrug “but if I could ask everyone a small favor…”
“Sure, anything!” Atsumu’s interruption only makes your smile grow wider “I’d really like to celebrate Kita-san’s birthday like you’d normally do. Please don’t make a big deal out of me, it’s his night after all”
“She’s asking not to be treated like a circus act” Aran whispers to Hinata, who blinks his big brown eyes in quiet understanding.
“Done!” Atsumu’s fist hits his chest right where the heart is as he solemnly declares “you’re one of the boys now, consider yourself a pal”
“Thanks, ‘Tsumu” he tries to keep his composure but nearly implodes as you direct your attention to Shoyo “no, Hinata-san, this doesn’t mean we won’t be taking that picture I promised. Don’t worry” your wink is the prettiest, most wonderful thing he’s ever witnessed and thank fuck he’s done drinking that coke because his airways suddenly feel clogged.
Kita thinks this is already the most entertaining birthday he’s ever celebrated.
And celebrate his birthday you all do. Normally, as per your request. You sit between Rintaro and Osamu at dinner and masterfully divert the attention from yourself whenever the questions start piling up. The uno reverse technique works well: your curiosity feels flattering and everyone is happy to satisfy it. The questions you direct are extremely specific, your laugh echoes alongside everyone else’s and Osamu can’t help but think that, in some odd way, you fit in seamlessly. 
Keeping his eyes off of you isn’t but a strenuous fight with himself, it’d be lovely if looking would be the only activity he’d be allowed to engage in. It’s not hard to guess why hordes of fans and admirers are so enamoured: you’re such a natural. Polite, poised, funny, charismatic. Making you laugh feels like a privilege, having your brows raise in interest makes the story one’s recounting instantly fascinating. And yet you’re not doing any of that on purpose, he can tell. The one thing you’re being intentionally careful about is avoiding his gaze and making sure your arm doesn’t accidentally brush against his.
Osamu wants to ask himself why but also refuses to indulge in childish fantasies. What, he thought you liked him? Part of him believed you’d accepted to come to some stranger’s birthday party purely to spend an evening with him. Bullshit. Everyone in the world knows who you are and he simply owns an onigiri shop in Hyogo, one you happened to visit by sheer chance. He’s the guy you are so embarrassed to be seen with, you had to come up with a lie to justify your presence at the very same table that seems to adore you.
But when he jokingly throws a grain of rice at Aran, you hide your chuckle behind your hand. If he speaks, you always turn to look. Osamu doesn’t remember a social gathering where he tried to come up with just as many things to say, desperately conjuring genes that always weigh heavier in Atsumu. Unfortunately, the one person he could always count on, his dear friend and trusty supplier, decides his birthday night is the perfect occasion to stab him in the back.
“I’m sorry, I just need to ask” Kita refills your glass with fresh wine from across the table before retracting to his seat once more “your encounter with Osamu, how did it happen exactly?”
“Yeah, was his onigiri so good you wanted to-”
“Do not finish that sentence, Shoyo” Aran clears his throat as Suna, next to you, has a hard time swallowing his stir fry noodles.
“She heard my shop was the best in town, which it is, came to try it. That’s the story” Osamu wishes he could disappear into his kitchen as he often does when things at the restaurant get uncomfortable.
“I don’t buy it” Shinsuke shrugs “is that really the whole story?”
Kita’s knowing stare really hasn’t changed since high school and it seems you’re affected by it just as much as every other human. His eyes bore right into yours, trained to detect hesitation or even the hint of a lie, giving you no escape. Goddamn it, he’s still the team captain, there’s no running from him.
“Well” you gently swirl the glass in your hand, suddenly very much focused on the crimson liquid swooshing inside “I also kissed him”
This time someone does actually choke and, of course, it’s Atsumu. Right as Rintaro utters an ever quiet holy shit, he explodes in a coughing fit and Aran promptly strikes between his shoulder blades with the heel of his hand, perhaps with more force than needed. Thankfully, Atsumu manages to swallow his bite and, despite the tears threatening to run down his cheeks in all their shimmering glory, still conjures the energy needed to point an intimidating finger at his brother “ya bastard!”
“That’s a joke, right?” Hinata’s eyes have once again grown three sizes.
Kita doesn’t ask, the answer is written all over Osamu’s crimson red face. He was right, no one would’ve believed him.
“No, I really did” you take a sip from your glass and now everyone is looking at you like you’re some kind of alien. Except for Atsumu, who’s still glaring daggers at his brother.
“So this is… a date for you two?” Suna’s just as shocked as everyone else but seems to be the only person currently able to string words together.
“Oh, no” you brush the question off with a gracious wave of the hand “I just did it to thank him”
This time the silence stretches for a moment too long. Atsumu seems on the verge of passing out.
“You kissed him to thank him?” Kita cocks his head.
“Yeah. I mean, he was very kind. Have you never kissed someone to thank them?”
“Uh… no. I don’t think so”
“Really?”
“Do you…” Aran hopes to the gods that the words don’t come out the wrong way “do that often?”
“Aran” as much as Osamu wishes the earth could swallow him whole, he doesn’t want you to think his friends may be implying something they’re really not.
“I didn’t mean it like that!”
“It’s okay” you let our a nervous chuckle and because Osamu is sitting so close, he hears the shaky breath too “I know it was wrong. I tend to forget that’s not what normal people are used to. I apologized and now we’re good, right, Miya-san?” your eyes meet his and he feels his heart drop right into his stomach.
“Why are you used to that?” he asks instead of replying to your question and you just. Freeze.
“Yeah…” Hinata quietly chimes in “that doesn’t sound like something anyone should be used to”
For the first time, you don’t know how to respond. Osamu senses your panic, can read it in your eyes, but is too baffled to think of something smart or chivalrous to say.
“Holy shit, ya know what that means?” Atsumu slams both his hands on the table and both you and everyone else jump “it means she thinks I’m hot! In another life, I’d have a chance! Sorry, Shin, I know it’s yer birthday but I think this is the best night of my life!”
A quiet, astonished moment follows, then the table erupts in genuine laughter. You’re giggling so much you have to hold your stomach, Kita is shaking his head in resignation, Suna rolls his eyes with affection. Osamu settles for a smile as he relaxes against his chair once more. His brother may be loud and annoyingly inopportune, but his quiet support never once faltered throughout the years. One doesn’t need to be an old acquaintance to be taken under Miya Atsumu’s wing: if he senses as much as the hint of unease, his charismatic idiocy is summoned right away at the service of whoever may need it. Yet his loyalty remains unshakeable: Osamu knows that, in his stupid head, you’re already forbidden territory.
His mind is dizzy with confusion he doesn’t know how to properly address. As Kita blows out the candles on the cake he’s made, Osamu feels a wave of affection inundate his heart. He remembers that are nights like this that are worth being present, even if he has to get up at dawn or his sink is full of dirty dishes and he’s exhausted. Life only ever feels right when he’s with his friends or his family. It’s a routine he’s trained hard to get used to: work, work, work, carve out small moments to spend with those who come and go. It’s important for him to be there, when they come.
Osamu almost misses it, too focused on cleaning an extra plate or two in the kitchen, to make sure the birthday boy can get to relax once they leave. And then you call for him, a small crack in that poised facade of yours when his name almost slips out. You rush into the kitchen and urge him to hurry up, they’re already singing happy birthday to Kita-san. Come on, you’re missing it!
You probably wanted to go for his sleeve and found his hand instead, dragged him out of the room so quickly Osamu barely had the time to put the towel down. For some reason, once in the living room you don’t let go right away and neither does he. You only do so to clap with everyone else and even then it’s not entirely possible to establish who lets go first. Regardless, Osamu gives your hand a light squeeze and hopes you notice, despite there being no signs to indicate that.
You’re the first two people to excuse themselves: he refuses to let you go back to your hotel on your own, doesn’t give two shits that you have a driver or could well afford a cab because it’s a beautiful evening and Osamu is itching to have as little as ten minutes alone with you. He watches as you formally offer a hand to Suna and he grins as he shakes it, gently taking it in between his in a respectful attempt at suggesting that there’s no need to be so ceremonious.
You exchange quick hugs with everyone else, take the picture promised to Hinata, chuckle lightly when Atsumu timidly asks for a kiss on the cheek just because “it’s the american way of saying goodbye!” and of course you accomodate the request. Osamu is almost willing to bet you genuinely had fun but he also can’t seem to shake off the odd feeling suggesting you’ve somehow taken it upon yourself to just… appease everyone for the entire evening. Like some kind of duty. He doesn’t want you to think back to this evening like a task that had to be carried out.
“Oh my god, I cannot fucking believe it!” Atsumu’s shriek echoes loud and clear in the empty street  as soon as Kita shuts the door and you meet Osamu’s exasperated glare.
“I’m genuinely not sure what I should start apologizing for” he runs a hand through his brown hair and his stress makes you smile as you fall into a comfortable walking pace.
“I should start by thanking you for inviting me. Can’t remember the last time I had such a normal night”
“My friends are many things but I don’t know if they really fall into the normal category”
You laugh at that. “I think they’re really nice. It was fun. I didn’t know there were two of you”
Osamu grimaces, lightly shaking his head “good call, he’s the thing I should start apologizing for”
“I liked Atsumu” of course you did, don’t they all? “you’re lucky to have such good friends and a brother. Is it true what they say about weird connections us twinless mortals wouldn’t get?”
He sighs. As much as Osamu hates stereotypes and all the disadvantages that come with not being able to be his own person, the curse of always being considered nothing but part of a set, he knows the bond with Atsumu is just as rare and irreplaceable as people make it out to be.
“Well, I can pretty much always read his mind. But it’s not a twin thing, s’just an Atsumu thing” he shrugs “most transparent, honest person on earth”
“You’re both very kind” your observation strikes him. It hits the nail on the head: he does his best but it’s unusual for someone to notice ‘Tsumu’s selflessness right away.
“Could say the same about ya” he’s eager to direct the topic to the thing he’s really interested in, the one person who refused every bit of attention directed her way throughout the night “that tea collection must’ve costed a fortune. Shinsuke loves tea, yer manager picked well”
You hum, gaze focused on your feet. “Actually, I picked it”
Another thing Osamu has in common with his brother, the ability to royally fuck up in such a short amount of time.
“Oh, I didn’t-”
“It’s okay, happens all the time”
“What happens?”
“People assuming things” you’re not mad, there’s just a sad vibration to your voice. If he could punch himself in the face, he would.
“I’m sorry”
“Don’t be” Osamu hates the smile you toss at him. He hates it so much he stops in the middle of the sidewalk and watches you turn around, confusion flashing in your disenchanted eyes.
“There’s a pretty cool park ‘round the corner. How about a detour? If you’re not too tired”
You hum in agreement, ask him to lead the way. Careful, Osamu, you’d like to say. This same polite regard is what got me in trouble the first time.
The park, which is more of a garden really, is a slice of eden in the jungle that any city inevitably ends up feeling like. Lowlands, an abundance of irregular but colorful flowerbeds that seem to glow in the dark, the warm air of the evening saturated with the sweet scent of lime trees, a gravel path you both follow all the way to a small, wooden playground. It’s only natural to gravitate toward the swings, relish in the comfort of the stillness the evening offers. It always feels like the earth rotates slower, pace decelerating to give you more time to enjoy the things it’s hard to appreciate during your hectic days.
Osamu approaches the swing like an old friend, takes hold of the chains with both hands. He lightly pushes off the ground with his feet while pulling back, giving you a perfect view of his perfect profile.
“I don’t want to assume” he says quietly “so is it okay if I ask?”
“Yeah” you rest your head on the chain you’re holding, still looking at him who won’t look at you.
“Why did you tell ‘Tsumu you asked me to come tonight?” the actual question dies in his throat. Were you that embarrassed of being there with me?
“You seemed pretty self-conscious. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable” and I guess that way, you got to seem cooler.
Osamu almost chokes on his own spit from how surprised he is by your answer. What the fuck.
“I wasn’t-” not for the reason you seem to believe “I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable!”
You smile, patiently waiting for the moment where he’ll finally turn to meet your gaze instead of persistently staring at his feet. “I don’t think I ever felt that comfortable in a room filled with men”
“That shouldn’t be an exceptional occurrence”
“Right. But it is”
He spends a few moments trying to come up with the right words, a handful of seconds spent with part of his brain wishing he could have a talk with all the men who made you feel unsafe. How many? Where, why? Are they the reason why Osamu wants to get so desperately close and yet keep a respectful distance, not to scare you off, not to be another name added to the list of creeps you surely hate?
“Why did you kiss me?” those are far from being the right, considerate words he was trying to summon, but they bubble up from his throat before he can stop them.
You hum, pensive “I don’t know. You’re pretty, you’re gentle, I thought t’was what you expected to happen. It’s what men usually expect in return”
“In return for what?” he fights the urge to keep his eyes down, confident that the darkness will conceal the redness of his cheeks. You think he’s pretty and the first thing his dumb brain is able to link the revelation to, is Atsumu. Shit, he was right, this means you do find him attractive as well.
“Anything, really” your chuckle is devoid of actual humor “I know this night was supposed to make up for it but I didn’t expect to have so much fun. Regardless, I hope we’re even now”
Osamu furrows his brows.
“Ya think that’s why I invited ya?”
“Why else?”
He almost laughs, incredulous. You hide that mistrust really well, Osamu has to give it you. It feels unfair that life has given someone who seemingly has everything, so many reasons to think you can only be seen as an empty shell, some trophy with the sole purpose of being flaunted.
“You said you were leaving. I didn’t like the idea of not seeing you again”
“Really?” your lips curl into a small smile “the weird girl who jumped you on your first meeting?”
“You’re weird” he concedes “and selfless. Intelligent. Maybe jokes are not your forte but, hey, ya get to look like that” your laugh compliments his really well and Osamu can’t help but think he’d like to sit in a park, in the middle of the night, and talk and laugh and be with you just once more.
You briefly wonder if the man sitting so close to you is aware of just how devastatingly charming he is. Part of you wishes he’d want to take you out on a proper date, let you meet his friends on different occasions, include a weird stranger in such a well balanced life. Part of you also knows you’d never want to ruin that for him. Not for someone like Osamu. People who are unfortunate enough to stumble across you are almost always harassed away, it’s a life you’re used to and can’t bring yourself to run from. It’s who you are and, most importantly, all you have. It’d be too dangerous for your heart to desire anything different.
But he’s looking at you as if you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, land emerged from the sea millions of years ago for his eyes only to experience such a sight. No one’s ever looked at you with such wonder.
“I don’t want to assume” he holds your gaze locked to his, swing dangling lightly as he leans closer “so is it okay if I ask?”
“Yes” you utter a little too breathlessly.
“Can I kiss ya?”
You hum in affirmation and close your eyes, heart beating a little faster than what you’re used to as you sense his proximity. He smells nice, radiates warmth and his soft hair tickles a little when his lips gently press to your cheek.
Osamu smiles when he catches a glimpse of disappointment flashing over your features, the first of many clues he wants to learn how to interpret correctly. The cracks in a facade he’d make his personal mission to tear down.
“I know you have to go away tomorrow” he gently moves a strand of hair away from your forehead “but I wondered, if you didn’t, whether you might let me see ya a little. Or a lot, maybe”
You lean into his touch, calloused fingertips still barely grazing your skin.
“A lot sounds good”
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wlntrsldler · 8 months ago
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poisoned mercury | pink skies
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a/n: bf!luke, who else cheered?; suggests that five star and luke spent the night but nothing explicit! i decided not to let the angst monster touch them. they're my babies!!!! five star and luke get behind me!!!
viii. pink skies by lany
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there were many things about luke castellan that surprised you. one being that he wore glasses, or at least is supposed to wear glasses. he refused to wear them, against the sound medical advice of his optometrist and his mom’s insistence. his first adult responsibility was buying his own contacts because his mom refused to set up the appointments for him out of spite. he only wore his glasses when he was around the boys and poisoned mercury’s management team, but never out in public, and definitely never on stage. 
two, he loved jazz music. only a handful of people knew this about him and half of those who do, don’t believe him. he supposed it was hard for people to believe that a pop punk lead singer would have an appreciation for jazz music, but luke loved it. jazz always sounded romantic and sensual and there was something calming about it. he listened to jazz before each show. he’ll never admit this unless you twist his arm, but he wept like a goddamn baby when he first watched la la land. 
third, he was a polyglot, which he says is a little ironic because according to his mom, he spoke his first words in english significantly later than his peers, but he picked up on other languages quickly. he first found out about his talent in high school when he started hanging out at the rodriguez household and chris’ mom and sisters started saying phrases to him in spanish. he started taking spanish classes in high school and kept teaching himself when he dropped out. so far he can speak spanish, italian, and a bit of french. he attempted to learn greek, but it never clicked for him. he knew how to read it but his pronunciation was atrocious. he promised he’d try again sometime soon, but who knows if that’ll happen.
fourth, his idea of pillow talk was the two of you asking random questions to each other to get to know each other better, which is how you learned all these things about him. after one thing led to another last night, you fell asleep to the sound of luke’s voice against your ear. it wasn’t even that late; the group hadn’t come back from their trip to get food after they left the party, but you and luke were sleepy as you lay in the tangled sheets of your bed, at peace. 
you learned that he was ticklish on the side of his ribs and that he planned to get a tattoo there but when the artist tried to put the stencil on his skin, he giggled and moved around so much that the artist warned him about his placement. he didn’t end up getting the tattoo there, but instead got it a little lower on his torso. luke had six tattoos, making him the one in the band with the least amount. the stolls were tattoo fiends and made it their mission to get a small tattoo from each place they visited on tour. luke’s personal favorite was the single line on the side of their index finger. it was a messily done stick-n-poke after one too many drinks in new jersey. 
when he was younger, he used to climb on the roof of his house in connecticut. his parents warned him that he was going to hurt himself one day, but he, being the rascal that he was, never listened. until one day, after a light rain, he’d gone up there and slipped on the shingles and fell face-first against the roof. he scratched his face pretty badly, hence the scar on his face now. he told people that he got the scar from a bar fight because it sounded cooler. one day his childhood pictures will be posted on some website and his cover story won’t be as believable anymore, but that’s a bridge he’ll cross when he gets there. 
it was weird to fall asleep next to someone. you hadn’t found yourself in this position in a long time, longer than you’d care to admit. when you hooked up with people in college, you purposefully made up some excuse about why they had to leave before sun up. “my roommate will be back soon.” “i have a huge test tomorrow morning.” “my friend just called and said she needed my help so i gotta go.” but with luke, you didn’t feel the need to make up an excuse to kick him out. you didn’t want him to go. 
he asked the silent question as he was putting his clothes back on, hesitantly approaching your bedroom door to exit. he didn’t know if he was overstaying his welcome. he didn’t want to rush you when it came to things like this. so when he’d asked where his other shoe went, not caring about where it landed in the heat of the moment, you shrugged your shoulders and said, “dunno. we’ll figure it out in the morning, come back to bed.” 
you didn’t need to tell him twice. 
luke woke up before you did. you were lying on his chest, face pressed into the crook of his neck. your breaths made his skin tingle. he twirled the ends of your hair around his fingers, taking in the view of you next to him. he could get used to waking up like this every morning, he thought. he couldn’t imagine a better way to start his day. 
you stirred, craning your head to face him as your eyes fluttered open, a subdued smile on your face, “g’mornin.” 
“g’mornin’, five star,” he replied, lips immediately leaning over to press against yours. he frowned when you pulled back, shaking your head, “let me kiss you.” 
“i have morning breath,” you cringed, moving your arm from under you to caress the nape of his neck. you placed a kiss on the corner of his lips, making him groan. 
“i don’t care,” he pouted, nudging your nose with his own. you rolled your eyes but let him kiss you. the kiss was lazy and languid, lips moving gracefully against each other. it was sweet and slow like you were both trying to soak in this feeling with each other. you broke the kiss when you broke out into a smile, suddenly feeling shy. 
“it’s noon,” you said, glancing at your clock behind luke. “we need to get up soon.” 
“five more minutes,” he placed a string of kisses on your shoulder blade, grinning at the red marks he left on your skin from last night. “let’s stay here a little longer.” 
you had a feeling here meant something more than just the comfort of your bed. here was the bubble you both allowed yourself to stay in for the last twelve hours, a little universe that was just for the two of you. it was different kissing luke in the darkness of the night. you could blame it on the secrecy of it all, shadows hiding your feelings for him, no expectations or weight of the dreaded conversation, but in the morning light, you felt vulnerable. you knew the mature thing to do was to ask him about what last night meant. was it just a one-time thing? would things change between the two of you now that the chase was over? you didn’t know. 
little did you know, luke was thinking the same things as you. he would prolong this safe haven for as long as he could in case he would never get to experience it again. luke tightened his grip around your waist, breathing in the scent of your shampoo as he kissed your forehead. he couldn’t stop himself. he got a taste of what it was like to be with you and now, he couldn’t get enough. he’d find any excuse to have his lips on you. he grinned at you as he pulled away, “you snore, you know that?” 
you buried your face in your pillow, embarrassed, “stop it.” 
he laughed, “it’s cute, five star! i don’t mind it.” 
“are you sure?” you asked, scrunching your face up in disgust, “i can’t in good conscience let you sleep over again if you don’t even get any sleep because i snore.” 
“consider your conscience cleared because i really don’t mind,” luke pressed his lips against yours again. gods, he couldn’t get enough of you. “this makes up for it.” 
“ew,” you shoved him playfully, sitting up to start getting ready for the day. luke remained flat on his back on your bed, “you’re so fucking corny.”
he propped his head up on his extended elbow, a smirk on his face. the rays of sunlight that peeked through your blinds illuminated his toned chest. faint scratches and pink marks contrasted his tanned skin. “guilty.” 
you got up from bed, digging out a clean sweater from your closet. you wandered around your room, organizing things as you went on. luke watched you from your bed, eyes following your every move. his white shirt was peeking out from under the sweater. your sleep shorts showed off your toned legs perfectly. your hair was a mess, braids undone, but you still looked gorgeous. he blinked as your eyes darted to him, “you look beautiful.” 
you rolled your eyes, narrowing your eyes at him, “you can’t even see me properly. you don’t have your contacts in.” 
he’d taken them off before he fell asleep. he hated sleeping with contacts in. he’d snuck out in the middle of the night to grab his glasses from his nightstand before slipping back into bed with you. he was thankful you were a pretty heavy sleeper because he didn’t want you to think he was sneaking out to leave you by yourself after last night. when luke returned to his side of the bed, you rolled over and cuddled into him in your sleep, like you’d been waiting for him to return. 
luke reached over to retrieve his glasses from your bedside table and placed them on his face. he pushed them up on the bridge of his nose and shrugged, “still beautiful.” 
you walked over to him, sitting on his lap with your thighs caging him in. you held his face in your hands, admiring how he looked with the frames on his face. luke’s hands made their way to your waist, steadying you. you smiled, “i like how you look with your glasses.” 
a lopsided smile appeared on his face, boyish and charming. “yeah?” 
“mhm,” you hummed, “you look like a nerd. s’cute.” 
“pfft,” he scoffed, poking your side, “i’m not a nerd. i’m a rockstar.” 
“shut the fuck up,” there was no venom in your voice, despite your words. you couldn’t muster any resemblance of annoyance when he was looking at you all doe-eyed and pouty-lipped. you moved from on top of him, crawling over to your empty spot, “luke?” 
he turned to you, “five star?” 
“what are we doing?” 
“we’re spending the day in bed,” he replied, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach. he knew that the conversation was coming in soon. he was scared of what you’d say next. 
your smile vanished as your shoulders hunched over, “you know what i mean.” 
luke rubbed his jaw, “you tell me.” 
luke didn’t know what he should say. he didn’t want to say that last night meant nothing to him because he’d be lying if he said that and he didn’t want to lie to you, but he also didn’t want to scare you off by telling you how he really felt. it felt like a situation he couldn’t win. his pessimism was hounding him. he didn’t want to mess this up before it had the chance to start. 
“are we just fucking around? is this casual because i–” 
at first he thought he could handle it. he’ll let you take the lead, he’ll follow you. whatever you wanted, he’s game for it, even if it meant that he got hurt along the way. but then the word casual left your lips and it felt like he was slapped across the face. he thought he could handle it if you wanted you guys to be casual or friends who kiss sometimes or friends who occasionally do more than kissing sometimes, but actually hearing you use those words made him tense.
“please don’t ever use those words about us again,” luke breathed out, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “i don’t know if you’ve noticed five star, but there’s nothing casual about how i feel about you.”
“i think we need to start talking to each other more,” you pondered. “because there’s nothing casual about how i feel about you either.” 
“throw a guy a bone sometimes. you’ve tormented me for two months. how was i supposed to know that?” he teased.
you cocked an eyebrow, “but yet you like me so really what does it say about you?” 
just like that, the indecision faded. it was back to just you and luke. the same way you’d always teased each other and pushed each other’s buttons. you’d both been stressed about what the other was thinking when you should’ve just talked to each other. perhaps all the poets and the writers in the world were onto something when they said that communication is key because you two wasted so much time running away from what this could be. it was funny really, how the two of you were both keeping these things to yourself, too scared of how you felt for each other to make a move. how much sooner could this have happened if you told him how you felt the minute you realized it? would he have kissed you a month ago? would you have been waking up with him beside you on your bed for weeks? who knows? 
“it says more about you, to be honest,” he said, “you’re irresistible. even when you’re mean to me, i adore you.” 
“you’re such a flirt, castellan.” 
“i need to up my game,” luke chuckled, “yeah, i got the girl but now i gotta work to keep you.” 
you placed a hand on your chin, pretending to think, “i don’t recall being asked to be anyone’s girl.” 
“you’re breaking my heart, five star,” he sighed dramatically, clutching his chest. he dropped his body weight on yours, making you squeal and attempt to push him off. he laughed at your efforts. “be my girl?” 
“on one condition.”
“anything.” 
“let me hear the song.” 
luke let out a full belly laugh, rolling over on the bed. he shook his head, biting his bottom lip. there was never a moment where he wasn’t on his toes when he was with you. he didn’t expect you to say that. you really were stubborn when it came to things you put your mind to. that fucking song. “no, i told you it’s not ready!” 
you stuck your tongue out at him, “then no.” 
luke’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as a goofy grin appeared on his face. he pulled you on his lap again, back pressed against his chest. he moved your hair to one side, kissing down the other side of your neck in soft, quick motions. he mumbled into your skin, “fine, but i’m following you around like a lost puppy. i’m yours.” 
you sighed dreamily, reaching over to place a hand on his arm. you couldn’t help but make fun of him despite the butterflies in your stomach, “simp.” 
you felt him nod against your body, “that’s me.” 
“we really need to get out of bed.” 
“five more minutes?” 
it had been at least fifteen since he last asked for more time, but you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. you gave in and got back under your covers with him. you let him be the small spoon this time, your arms wrapped around his toned back, smiling at the soft sighs that left his lips when you ran your fingers down his spine. he kissed your collarbones, face relaxing as sleep overtook him again. 
you watched him fall asleep and reached for your phone, trying not to disturb his rest. you snapped a quick picture of him, smiling as you admired his features. you were falling for luke castellan.
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nyuoqi · 5 months ago
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            — SO I MARRIED MY ANTI-FAN     ౨ৎ     SES
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OO5.    s-class buffet
✸ SYNOPSIS !  : congratulations! you have been invited to korea's #1 romance reality show 'We Got Married' where you will be living with your co-star like a married couple. but what will you do when you find out that your husband is actually your anti-fan?
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(830 wc, not proofread)
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"PLEASE DON'T GET NERVOUS, you'll sweat all over and I would have to redo your whole makeup look! " your makeup artist for today warns as she lightly daps a moist sponge on your face to blend your foundation in.
the clear plastic chair beneath you is making your bottom cramp painfully from how long you have been sitting on it— guessing that it has been an hour since you've started yet all your makeup artist has done yet so far is setting your foundation in.
"i know what you're thinking and yes, this much amount of time is required to create the most flawless base you will ever see. can't have you looking botched on your special day, can you? " she continues to dab a moist sponge on your face, blending in your contour this time.
you bet the makeup look your regular makeup artist tends to make for you looks way better than this and it surely does take a shorter time— heck, it's not even a real wedding!
yet why is it that you let a fake wedding make you sweat all over enough to make your palms all sweaty and sticky. you're not even someone who sweats that much normally!
all these complains however remain locked into your heart because you out of all people know better that if words ever get out, your manager will kill you then herself after.
you yawn, your mouth gaped apart freely. "don't move. " your makeup artist warn.
oh so now you can't even yawn because you lack sleep?
your lack of sleep may or may not be your fault. but to be fair, who can sleep soundly knowing that by tomorrow, they will be wed to a guy they've never properly met before? 
not you, at least.
with that being said, your eyes slowly drops as they struggle to keep themselves open after you stifled another yawn. you can see the makeup artist giving you the stank eye but you couldn't care less, especially not when your eyes drops again and struggle to pick itself back up.
next thing you know, your makeup has been done to perfection as the previous makeup artist behind you is now replaced by two hairstylist who are currently brushing through your hair to make them smooth.
"oh you're finally awake! wedding preparations must've been very tiring considering the fact that you were fast asleep when we got in place. " one of the hairstylist greets you with a huge smile, her hair is short and blonde whereas the other has a medium length brown hair. 
you laugh, making up a reply to not make it sound obvious that your sleepiness is caused none other than your thoughts antagonising your future husband in your head throughout the night, leaving you no time to take a good rest.
your hand reaches for your phone. the screen showing that it has been approximately 3 hours since you fell asleep.
i'm such a mess, you thought.
the huge white door in front of you remain unmoved as you fidget around with the end of your white dress. you are about to pick on your nails and hair when you catch your manager glaring at you from behind the curtains, automatically making you opt to holding your bouquet properly instead.
your whole body is on fire as your nerves can't seem to calm down. with the fast rate your heart is beating at, you might as well just drop dead as a result of it pumping more blood than it is able to handle.
however before you have the chance to pretend to drop dead in front of your manager and a 'bridesmaids' (you genuinely have no idea who they are), the door in front of you opens, revealing your figure towards the guests attending your wedding.
the venue of the wedding this time surely is different from the previous seasons. instead of a very fake themed wedding ceremony, the production team decided to make the wedding ceremony this time appear as realistic as possible.
which means that the guests are sitting on the side, below the altar on round tables. your all white theme matches your white dress which you rented from an actual wedding dress rental place. same thing goes for your white heels who will be walking on the altar covered with yet another white coloured carpet.
at the end of the altar, you can see the guy you've been dreading to meet since the day you heard that you will be getting fake married for six months.
despite your nerves practically telling you to play dead on the ground right here and there, you managed to calm yourself down as you begin walking and making your way to meet your soon-to-be husband for the upcoming six months.
"hi. " you smile when you finally reach him.
"hello. " EUNSEOK greets back with a warm smile hanging on his face. your heart melts, he's definitely the perfect groom.
or is he?
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rubycruzin4abruzin · 7 months ago
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behind the curtain
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Summary: Sequel to never been (stage) kissed. After shooting wraps, you and Ruby part ways. Eight months later, you see each other again at the premiere screening, and decide to “sneak away” during the after-party. How will you two navigate the paparazzi after they catch you in a compromising position?
Pairing: ruby cruz x actress!reader
Contains: mature language, adult humor, kissing, angst, fluff, hair playing, secret relationship trope, brief mention of an ED, publicity tweets and comments, invasive tabloids, the price of fame
Word Count: 4.2k
A/N: This is a sequel to my previous RPF, so the RPF Guidelines still stand. This fic contains a very brief mentioning towards an ED, and should not be triggering (at least I don’t think so). I am not insinuating anything by this mention, it is simply meant to shed light on how invasive and presumptuous Hollywood can be. That being said, I had the most fun EVER writing this! Enjoy! :)
———
Ever since the first “kissing lesson,” you and Ruby had spent every on-set lunch break in her trailer. Nothing ever progressed beyond kissing, but with the way Ruby’s hands entangled themselves in your hair, and how she shivered every time your hand grazed her thigh, kissing was really all you needed.
Your mid-day rendezvous were kept a secret from the rest of the world. None of the cast or crew knew exactly what was happening when the door to Ruby’s trailer closed, but it was clear that something was working. Since the trailer lunches began, your on-set chemistry became palpable. It even got to the point where the director would shout words of praise after “cut!”
Eventually, like with all movies, filming began to wrap up. The last day on set, you and Ruby spent all of your down time wrapped in each other's arms, tears falling at the thought of parting. Everyone on set sympathized with the both of you, except for the makeup artist who kept having to touch up your alien makeup after every fallen tear.
You and Ruby promised to keep in touch, and you did for a little while. But daily FaceTimes eventually became weekly phone calls, which turned into sporadic texts, until silence settled between you, save for occasional likes on social media posts. You missed her terribly, and while your pride and fear of rejection kept you from reaching back out, you couldn’t help but wonder if she was missing you too.
About eight months after shooting wrapped for “Aliens of Atlantis,” you were going over sides for an upcoming audition when you got a call from your agent. Upon answering, she announced that “Aliens of Atlantis” post-production had wrapped, and the film had a scheduled premiere where the cast would be making an appearance.
A blissful daze settled across your face at this news. Your agent kept on talking about the when, the where, and the dress code of the upcoming premiere, but you were only half-listening. Her words mushed together, flying in one ear and out the other as the only thing that mattered to you consumed your mind.
You were going to see Ruby again.
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On the morning of the premiere, you woke up with a knot in your stomach. You couldn’t tell if the cause was nerves or excitement, but you chalked it up to probably being a little of both. You tried everything to settle your stomach, from aspirin to deep breaths to simply distracting yourself with other tasks. Despite your attempts, when your driver arrived later in the day to take you to the premiere, the knot was still there and prominent as ever.
By the time you had arrived and were about to get out of the car, the knot had seemingly spread throughout your entire body, making you feel like an absolute disaster. You took out your phone and checked your reflection in the front-facing camera, just to remind yourself that you weren’t. In fact, you looked good. You were wearing a metallic blue floor-length gown as a not-so subtle nod to your alien character from the movie. Pale blue eyeshadow decorated your eyelids, and you left your hair down in loose face-framing curls. You knew the press would go crazy as soon as they saw you, and that thought alone gave you enough of a confidence boost to calm down a bit.
When the car pulled up to the red carpet, you took a deep breath and stepped out, immediately being bombarded with cameras flashing in your face. You blinked, overwhelmed at the bright lights, and quickly attempted to paste on a smile and act like this wasn’t your first red carpet event.
You stumbled down the red carpet and looked around for Ruby, but the constant camera flashes and bright lights made it difficult to see much. Every now and then you would stop to strike a pose and flash a pretty smile in some random direction, or answer one of the million questions being thrown at you.
“Who are you wearing?”
A fucking blue dress. “Valdrin Sahiti!”
“How do you feel about your first red carpet event?”
Overwhelmed. “So excited!”
“What are you most looking forward to tonight?”
Seeing Ruby again. “Everyone finally getting to see all the hard work from the cast and crew!”
After what felt like an eternity of paparazzi and bullshit answers to trivial questions, the end of the red carpet was finally approaching. You felt yourself let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. It wasn’t easy, but you managed to make it down your first red carpet without making a complete fool of yourself.
Eventually, the cameras seemed to dissipate, focusing on the next pretty young thing that had just arrived. You blinked, trying to restore your vision infringed upon by the blinding lights. Once you could see in front of you again, you looked up, and a gulp forced itself down your throat at what might have been the prettiest sight you’d ever seen.
There, standing at the end of the red carpet, was Ruby Cruz, radiant amidst the flashing lights.
Her gown was long and form-fitting, sporting bright streaks of color and a slit up one of her legs. Dark brown curls hovered above her shoulders and cascaded down the back of her neck, while glittery red eyeshadow made her blue eyes pop. She looked so natural, posing and smiling for the cameras, that you couldn’t help but feel a bit envious of her.
Upon seeing you, Ruby’s eyes brightened, and a goofy grin spread across her face. She walked towards you, wrapping an arm around your waist and instantly making the cameras go wild. Your cheeks flushed into a bright pink tint. You missed her touch, and having her arm wrapped around you like that almost felt like deja vu.
While the both of you posed for the flashing cameras, Ruby leaned down to your ear and whispered one single sentence, the answer to a question you didn’t need to ask.
“I missed you.”
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Unsurprisingly, the movie premiere turned out to be a massive success. The audience was extremely receptive to the storyline, cheering and gasping at all the right moments. Critics even approached you after the screening to rave about your performance and promise a glowing review.
The after-party was held at a nearby banquet hall, decorated to look like the underwater city of Atlantis. Filk music blasted through speakers while an open bar served space-themed cocktails.
You were busy making your rounds, establishing connections with other attendees while sipping a ‘cosmonaut’ from the open bar. While posing for a photo with a fan, you couldn’t help but realize you hadn’t seen Ruby in a bit. You craned your neck to look for her, but she was nowhere to be found. You shrugged it off, thinking it’s just a big venue and you’d probably run into her at some point during the night.
After several photos, impromptu interviews, and business cards you had nowhere to put, you were exhausted. You tried to make yourself as invisible as possible, leaning against a curtain by the back wall and downing the last sip of your cocktail.
While scanning the room, you noticed some of your castmates appeared slightly tipsy. You felt bad for them, knowing their press interviews would come off as less than professional, but there was a small part of you that wished you had more to drink throughout the night. The party was fun, sure, but took a lot out of you, and alcohol was sure to make it more tolerable.
Suddenly, while you were immersed in watching a crew member profusely apologize to an intern she had drunkenly stumbled into, you felt a disembodied hand appear out of nowhere and wrap around your arm. The hand pulled you behind the curtain you were leaning against, causing you to gasp and drop your empty cup.
You whipped around to see who grabbed you, preparing to throw a punch or scream for help if you had to. Instead, your eyes softened and you lowered your fist upon seeing Ruby, standing there staring at you with a devilish smirk.
“Hi pretty girl.” She cooed, taking a step towards you.
“Ruby…” you half-whispered in shock, eyes traveling up and down her body. “What are you doing?”
“I missed you,” she rested her hands on your hips and bit her lip, letting an ounce of vulnerability shine through her otherwise confident exterior. “I missed this. I feel like we barely got to see each other all night.”
“Me too,” you responded, internally melting at the feeling of her warm hands on your torso.
You wrapped your arms around her neck and leaned close to her before a sense of paranoia made you backtrack. “Ruby, it’s a big party, what if someone sees us?”
Ruby simply shrugged, completely unbothered. “Like you said, it’s a big party. Our castmates are drunk, the press is too focused on capturing their embarrassing moments.”
Her words seemed to reassure you, and you pulled her close to you again, feeling the warmth of her body against yours. “I’m glad you pulled me away.”
Ruby crashed her lips against yours, forcing a soft moan to escape your throat. She pulled back, looking deep into your eyes and holding your face in her hands.
“Careful now. We don’t want anyone hearing us.”
You nodded, non-verbally promising to keep quiet before Ruby brought her lips to yours again. Both of you sighed into the kiss, eight months of absence making itself prominent with passion. She tasted like sweet nostalgia with a hint of coconut rum, probably leftover from a drink she had earlier.
Ruby pressed herself against you, and you grabbed at the back of her neck, desperate to be as close to her as possible. She kept her hands planted at your waist, thumbing over the metallic fabric of your gown. Each time her fingertips pressed into your sides sent electrifying shocks through your body, making your knees stutter and causing you to lean more into Ruby for balance.
You brought your hands up to play with one of her curls, prompting a gentle sigh to travel from her mouth into yours. A smirk appeared on your lips, realizing your beloved brunette enjoyed having her hair played with.
Just when you were about to fully take advantage of this newfound information, a sudden crash engulfed your ears, followed by a blinding light and a collective gasp. You and Ruby pulled away from each other, turning your heads to check out the commotion.
One of the interns had drunkenly stumbled into the curtain and pulled it down with him as he fell, leaving you and Ruby entangled in each other and completely exposed to the rest of the party.
All hell broke loose. Interviewers screamed questions from across the room while paparazzi cameras flashed in your face. Those without cameras pulled out their phones and filmed the both of you, desperate for their fifteen minutes of fame.
Anxiety overtook your body as you felt a lump rise to your throat and your heart sink to your feet. You turned to look at Ruby, eyes full of fear, but she wasn’t looking at you. She was looking straight at the flashing cameras, with an expression that made your blood run cold.
You had never seen her bright blue eyes filled with so much anger.
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The pit in your stomach grew as you scrolled through the tabloid headlines and Twitter articles featuring your and Ruby’s “stunt” from the other night. This was bad. So bad, that both of your agents had gotten together to hire a public relations manager just for the situation.
Two days after the movie premiere, an emergency meeting was called. Five of you were called to the manager’s office, with both of your agents sitting on either side of him, and you and Ruby placed across from the three of them.
The manager, named Rick, held out his hand and you gave him his phone back, sick of scrolling through the headlines anyway. As far as you could tell, Rick didn’t seem like a bad guy, but it was clear Ruby didn’t feel the same. She hadn’t said a word throughout the entire meeting, instead keeping her arms crossed in front of her chest and pointing a cold glare towards the man in front of her.
She didn’t trust him, and everyone in the room knew it.
Rick gave the both of you a sheepish grin. “As you both can probably see, you’re kind of the flavor of the week right now.”
Ruby’s agent nodded in agreement. “I have a friend in New York, and she heard a rumor about an SNL sketch being written about the whole thing.”
Your agent sighed, clearly having heard the rumor herself. Ruby simply scoffed and rolled her eyes.
“Is it really that big of a deal?” You piped up.
All eyes turned to look at you, making you shrink in your seat. “I mean, can’t we just wait for it to blow over? All we did was kiss at an after party.”
“It’s not like we were fucking, Rick.” Ruby growled through her teeth, causing a blush to appear on your cheeks.
Rick cleared his throat, uncomfortable with Ruby’s candidness. “Well it’s not really that simple…”
“No one knows what you are.” Your agent interrupted. “All the public knows is you were caught going at it like teenagers in a basement, and now the media is going to be on top of everything you do until they figure it out.”
Ruby’s agent nodded. “Before this, we wanted you both to appear single to the public. You’re both very attractive girls. People want you, and we want them to think they can have you.”
“But that’s not really an option now.” Rick pointed out. “Fortunately, both of you have pretty reputable status in Hollywood. People see two of their favorite actresses together, feedback is bound to be mostly positive.”
He opened up a notepad in front of him and started scribbling down something you couldn’t quite make out.
“I’m thinking, we take this relationship and go completely public. Social media posts, dates open to the paparazzi, everything. That way, the media won’t have to do any guess work and this whole thing will blow over sooner.”
Suddenly, Ruby stood up from her seat and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
“Ruby!” Her agent called after her.
She turned to flash an apologetic smile towards all the shocked faces staring back at her. “I’m sorry. She’s not usually like this. I’ll talk to her.”
She ran out of the room after Ruby, leaving Rick and your agent to go over the details of the plan. Their voices faded into the background as millions of thoughts swam through your mind. You had a bad feeling about this ‘public relationship’ idea.
How were you supposed to go public with your relationship, when you weren’t even sure if there was a relationship to go public with?
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You adjusted your oversized hat and sunglasses while staring up at the cafe sign that read “Grind n’ Dine,” shuddering at the slightly suggestive name.
One week after the meeting with Rick, he worked with your agents to schedule a public date for you and Ruby, tipping off the press to make sure there was media coverage. Grind n’ Dine, a local business, had apparently paid Rick a large sum of money to schedule your date here in the hopes that the publicity would be good for business.
Taking a deep breath, you walked in through the restaurant doors and looked around. Several members of the press were already present, wearing cameras around their necks and sipping coffee at various tables. You breathed out a sigh of relief that they didn’t recognize you yet, thankful for your agent who suggested arriving in disguise.
In the very back of the restaurant, tucked into a booth, you spotted Ruby hiding behind a menu. She had her body and hair buried under a large black hoodie, and masked her face with sunglasses similar to yours. You made your way over to her, trying to act natural, and making sure to avoid press members as much as possible in case they recognize you before you’re ready.
You slid into the seat across from her and cleared your throat to alert her of your presence. She put down her menu and laid it flat, before tilting her sunglasses down to meet your eyes.
Her blue eyes, once lively and bright, were now bloodshot and emotionless. Dark circles hung like bags underneath them, as if she hadn’t slept in days. You felt a sharp pang in your chest. Ruby had never looked at you this way before, and you wished more than anything that she would stop.
“Ready for this?” She asked, her voice monotone and lifeless.
You gulped, nodding defeatedly. “As I’ll ever be.”
Ruby removed her sunglasses and pulled down her hood, shaking out her wild brunette locks. You followed suit, taking off your hat and slipping your sunglasses into your purse.
Almost immediately, members of the press recognized the both of you, and practically trampled the poor servers and other diners to get to your booth. Cameras were suddenly shoved in your face, followed by microphones and what felt like hundreds of pointless and rather invading questions.
“Is this a date? How would you define your relationship?”
“If you had to describe your sex life using only three words, what would they be?”
“Ruby! Do you think every liberal democrat should take home a migrant to show their support for the proposed open border policy?”
The two of you mumbled terse responses to some of the questions, and completely ignored others. After several minutes of verbal torture, a perky blonde waitress fought her way through the press and stopped at the end of your table. She sported a wide politician's smile not directed at the two of you, instead flashed to the surrounding cameras in search of fifteen minutes of fame.
“Hi guys,” she started, her voice unnaturally high pitched. “My name is Bethany, what can I get started for you today?”
“I’ll have a quinoa salad and cranberry juice, please.” You answered, handing Bethany your menu.
The press murmured imperceptible comments regarding your order, some even scribbling notes on napkins. “Quinoa… salad…”
“Just a coffee’s fine.” Ruby mumbled, order being followed by press comments as well.
As soon as Bethany walked away, the paparazzi shoved the cameras back in your face and bombarded you and Ruby with questions once more.
“Did you order cranberry juice because you like cranberry juice or because you have a UTI? How did you get this UTI?”
“I noticed you were the only one who ordered food. Could it be because you’re eating for two?”
“Speaking of, why didn’t you order food, Ruby? Are you battling some kind of eating disorder? Would you like to comment on it?”
“Enough!” Ruby exclaimed, perhaps louder than she should have.
Immediately, the press was silent, with only the sound of sporadic camera clicks being heard. Ruby turned to look at you, tears starting to well in her tired eyes.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this…” she whispered, getting up and running out of the restaurant.
“Ruby! Wait, please!” You stood up and ran after her, leaving the paparazzi in the dust behind you.
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You found Ruby leaning against a building across the cafe. She had her head resting against the cool brick, and her face pointed to the sky while she blinked back tears threatening to fall.
A lump formed in your throat as you started to approach her. You couldn’t stand to see her like this. She looked so… miserable.
“Ruby…” you muttered softly, reaching out your hand.
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the concrete, refusing to look you in the eye. “I just wasn’t hungry! It’s barely ten in the fucking morning!”
You sighed. “Ruby, we both know that’s not what this is about. What’s going on?”
She sniffed, and focused her gaze on something behind you. “Can we… go somewhere else?”
Turning to see what Ruby was looking at, you noticed a teenage girl filming the two of you on her phone. You rolled your eyes, completely exasperated at this point.
“Let’s go.” You muttered, grabbing her hand to pull her away.
It didn’t take long to find a nearby alleyway, deserted except for an empty dumpster. You dragged Ruby into the back, letting go of her hand once the coast was clear.
“Talk.”
The pale brunette pushed her bangs out of her face, blinking a couple times while gathering her thoughts.
“I just… this is why my Instagram is private. This is why I’ve never explicitly labeled my sexuality. This is why I rarely talk about my personal life! I don’t want the media invading my space! I don’t want random strangers knowing intimate details about my life! It’s fucking freaky!”
You nodded, understanding her perspective, especially as you’d been recently dealing with the wrath of the paparazzi as well. She continued.
“I mean fuck! I can’t even order a damn coffee without some tabloid claiming I have a fucking eating disorder!”
Her breathing seemed to be evening out the more she spoke. She let out a shuddering breath and crossed her arms, staring at the gravel beneath her feet.
“I just… I just wanted to kiss you at an after-party. I missed you. And now everyone’s forcing us to be in this relationship and make it public but…”
“But no one asked us if we were even together,” you finished.
She nodded. “Exactly! We never even had a conversation just between us. Everyone just assumed.”
You pulled the brunette girl into your arms, wrapping them around her torso. She buried her face in the crook of your neck as you stroked her soft locks.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “If I had known that’s how you felt…”
“No.” She interrupted. “It wasn’t you. You didn’t do anything, I… listen…”
She pulled away, and you felt a pit form in your stomach. You waited for her to tell you that she didn’t want to see you again, that it was too hard, that it meant nothing.
You held your breath as she took your face in her hands, her blue eyes piercing into yours.
“I like you.”
“You… huh?” Shock painted your features as Ruby said the last thing you were expecting to hear.
“I like you.” She repeated, the corners of her mouth slightly upturned. “I meant it when I said I missed you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire eight months we didn’t talk. I should have reached out more, I don’t know why I didn’t. I guess I was scared? I don’t know…”
She was babbling, and you didn’t think she could get any cuter. You took her hands off your face and held them in yours, flashing her an encouraging smile.
“I like you too,” you replied giddily. “More than you know.”
Ruby chuckled, a faint blush tinting her cheeks. She stared down at the gravel again, chewing on her lip before speaking.
“I like you… I really do, but if we’re gonna start this… something, I’d want to take it slow and be completely private. No socials, no media, at least for now. Would… that be something you’re okay with?”
You squeezed her hands, flashing her a goofy grin. “I would… love that, actually.”
As you stared at your former celebrity crush, turned co-star, turned friend, turned… something, a wave of courage suddenly washed over you. Letting go of her hands, you seized her face and brought your lips to hers, tentatively, testing the waters. She gasped, but soon kissed back, sighing as she wrapped her arms around your neck and leaned into your body.
You moved your hand towards the back of her neck, then slowly inched upwards until your fingers were entangled in her hair. An almost inaudible moan escaped her lips and vibrated against yours as you played with her soft tresses. You smirked into the kiss, remembering exactly how much she liked having her hair played with before getting caught at the after-party.
Finally, after what could have been an eternity, you pulled away from each other. The two of you gasped for breath, both smiling like giddy children at the other.
“So… what now?” You asked breathlessly.
Ruby hummed to herself, seemingly in thought. “We could… go on a real date? Just you and me? No paparazzi. There’s this great little hole-in-the-wall place I like to go to when I don’t want to get recognized.”
You tilted your head, shooting her a lopsided smile. “That sounds perfect, actually.”
Before leaving the alleyway, Ruby put her sunglasses back on and pulled her hood over her head again, while you dug your sunglasses out of your purse and readjusted your hat. The two of you were disguised, hidden from the world, but happy to be able to pursue each other away from public opinion.
Ruby reached out her hand, her blue eyes somehow still managing to shine behind her sunglasses. “Ready for this?”
You smiled back at her, taking her hand and intertwining her fingers with yours. “As I’ll ever be.”
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stayteezdreams · 25 days ago
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Scenarios: Halloween Couples Costumes {Ateez}
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Scenarios: How Bf!Ateez reacts to you wanting to do a couples costume for Halloween + What you dress up as
Pairings: Hongjoong x Reader; Seonghwa x Reader; Yunho x Reader; Yeosang x Reader; San x Reader; Mingi x Reader; Wooyoung x Reader; Jongho x Reader - All are intended to be Gn!Readers.
A/N: I tried to go with mostly gender neutral costumes or gave an some open ended or mixed options for you to choose your preference from.
Requested by @otakutrash669
Warnings: N/A
Words: 1.2k; short because this is a bonus content post.
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Hongjoong: Tim Burton Inspired
Hongjoong was all for wearing a couples costume.
BUT, it ended up being really hard for the two of you to find something you both liked.
The ones you suggested were too goofy for him, the ones he suggested were too hard to find everything for.
Then some were too sexy, or revealing, or wouldn't look they way you wanted.
You were afraid you'd have to scrap the whole idea, but then as you were scrolling through Pinterest, you saw a really cool Tim Burton inspired couples outfit.
The outfits were fairly close to stuff both of you had in your closets.
You showed it to Hongjoong and after thinking on it, he agreed.
So you chose your favorite Tim Burton movie and characters and dressed up together.
You even ended up getting help from a makeup artist friend and the costumes came out 1000x better than you originally imagined.
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Seonghwa: Super Hero and Villain
Seonghwa never expected the two of you to NOT do a couples costume. It was one of the go-to thing's he got excited about the second you started dating.
He would be devastated if you said you didn't want to match in some way.
Originally, as Seonghwa was going through another Animal Crossing phase, he suggested you dress up as characters from the game.
But it proved to be a bit difficult. If you went too casual, it would look lazy, if you went realistic, you'd be mistaken as furries.
So, you scraped the idea.
You considered doing Star Wars again, just like the previous year, but you wanted to keep it as a back up just in case you thought of nothing else.
After scouring the internet, you landed on Heroes and Villains.
Something you would enjoy and that could be easily recognized.
Seongwha would play his favorite hero (Spiderman) and you went as your favorite Spiderman Villain (your choice but some options: Venom, Green Goblin, Electro, Black Cat, Silver Sable, Shriek)
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Yunho: Disney Characters
"We're gonna do a couples costume right?" You asked and Yunho's eyes lit up as his smile grew.
He nodded in excitement, immediately listing things he had already thought about (he was really excited about this okay?).
You both eventually landed on wanting to do something Disney inspired.
But which characters needed to be rounded down majorly.
You could be a prince/princess (Yunho was willing to be the Princess if you didn't want to), Main character x villain, two side characters, etc.
The options were endless and it almost made it harder to choose.
After various ideas and opinions from others you narrowed it down to a list, before deciding on your favorite.
The narrowed down options were: Prince Phillip and Sleeping Beauty, Kristoff and Anna, Alice and the Mad Hatter /or/ Mad Hatter and Cheshire Cat, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell /or/ Peter Pan and Hook (your choice).
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Yeosang: Mystery Inc
When you asked Yeosang to do a couples costume with you, he appeared unaffected by the question as he agreed.
But inside his heart was racing as he was fighting back a bright smile, he loved the idea.
Eventually he started to act noticeably more excited about it as you discussed what to wear.
Neither of you wanted to do something that had a lot of effort, but you didn't want it to appear too lazy.
You also wanted something that would be easily recognizable so you wouldn't have to deal with being asked what you were all the time.
After a few thrown out ideas, you finally decided on being Scooby Doo characters
Your choice of character, but I can definitely see Yeosang being Shaggy, or even Fred if his hair was blonde at the time.
(Plus Yeosang in an ascot would be adorable)
Some of the others also considered joining in as well for it to be a group costume.
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San: Fairy Tale Inspired
"San?" "Hmm?" "Can we wear a couples costume to the party?"
San looked over at you bright eyed and nodded happily. He had been dying to ask you to match with him, but he thought you might want to wear something else.
He had also been afraid that you would feel forced to say yes if he asked. So the fact that you asked made him very happy.
It ended up being hard to choose something, and you were running out of time before the party.
Finally, after seeing a cool photo of werewolf makeup, the two of you decided to do Red Riding Hood and The Big Bad Wolf.
As straight forward as you thought it might be, San had a hard time decided which one to be.
San wanted to be both, a bad-ass altered Red Riding Hood Hunter
AND he wanted to be a cool yet sexy (were)wolf.
You played Rock Paper Scissors, and you won so you were able to choose who you wanted to be. Either way San was happy.
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Mingi: Till Death Do Us Part
Mingi was the one who first brought up doing a couples costume.
You were all for it, but figured he brought it up because he saw something he wanted to do.
Which made you suspicious.
He admitted that you were right, and pulled up this photo that he wanted to recreate, as well as a bunch more just like it.
You laughed, and agreed. It was nothing over the top, and it was funny and cute.
You figured might get hot wandering around like this, so you decided to have other costumes on underneath to match that you could reveal if you wanted to remove the sheets.
Underneath you decided to dress as a couple who had died on your wedding day.
So even if you took the sheets off, you would still be matching underneath.
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Wooyoung: Pokemon
"Should we do a couples costume?" "Can we do a couples costume?"
You ended up asking about it at the same time after you saw an ad for a Halloween movie.
You laughed and agreed readily.
Wooyoung immediately got excited and started throwing out various suggestions but there were so many ideas to choose from,
On a day out, you ended up going to a costume store to get ideas.
When you pointed out the Pokemon section Wooyoung gasped and ran over.
Wooyoung immediately claimed Ash as his costume, but you were more open minded.
Whether you wanted to be Misty (or Brock?), Pikachu, or another fave Pokemon, you had many choices to choose from.
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Jongho: Serial Killer and his Victim
When you first asked Jongho to wear a matching costume with you he was a bit reserved.
As much as he loved you, he wasn't sure how he felt about couples costumes.
He wanted to make you happy though, so he agreed.
Wanting him to enjoy it as well, you decided to surprise him with a more fun costume that he might like.
So, one day you plopped down a pile of costumes and fake blood in front of him and he looked at you confused.
Pulling out the Scream mask you tossed it to him before holding up an already bloody and altered shirt and held it up to yourself.
He stared at you for a second before laughing, understanding what you were suggesting.
He nodded in approval as he started to get the costume together.
It was a matching costume, though a bit morbid, but it made him laugh and that was enough for you.
xx
not super detailed or long as this ended up as a Bonus Post for the day!
Taglists:
General Taglist: @otsilliak, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669, @tinyelfperson,
@pinievsev, @teenyfinds, @everythingboutkpop, @shymexican, @stillwjk-channie-lixie,
@alexxavicry
@luckypaintertyphoon, < tag does not work
Ateez Taglists: Everything: @soso59love-blog, @hongjoongsprincess, @thedistractedwriter, @dear-dreamie, @thunderous-wolf,
@briqnne, @hyukssunflower, @dinossaurz, @skz1-4-3, @staytiny2000,
@demonlineslut, @vnessalau, @dancinglikebutterflywings, @tunafishyfishylike
Jongho: @lieutenantn
Seonghwa & Mingi: @ye0nvibezzn
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alcrego · 3 months ago
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waitwaitwait since I'm confused about the past few anons, all (or some, most, whichever) of your gifs are AI-Assisted? As in, AI doesn't do ALL of the work, rather you guide the AI in an controlled environment to create something?
Up to date (since time ago) there are a lot of tools to have total control on the images we generate (that I insist, I NEVER use them directly as pieces...) Once I obtain the image, I use it to modify, distort, and animate them.
For example, ControlNet for Stable Diffusion (Automatic1111) used LOCALLY on my computer (no need to use servers), is a tool we can use to decide the composition of the image. Here (gif below) I used a photography I did of a restored prison (⬅️in threshold) and also the original plans of the place (➡️also in threshold) to compose the image.⬇️
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Later, after deciding for ONE between 232 options, I STARTED to work on the image, creating 8 different layers with frequency modulation, stitch all them together➡️, add lights, shapes, etc... to later get the perfect loop, to later obtain a good quality/size gif (final work).
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I hope this helps to understand what I do when I use AIs...
This is only one example of many other things I did past years, and the good symptom is that nobody even doubt or asked me if I was using AIs until I explained it.
The best artists using AI are those you can't realize they (we) are using it.
And NO, I DO NOT SUPPORT NOR AGREE people using AIs to generate (not create) directly images based on other artists works.
*I'll post this final work next. It's also based on another previous of my works "Icon", part of 'Amniotic Culture' series from 2021-2022, that I designed and used it for another work/exhibition I did in 2015 'Humonos' (last image, in the background, the Wifi-Eye icon).
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Peace!🙏
Now, I must keep working, because, no... AIs don't work for me like magic, I have to study/work and understand a LOT of things to create my work, beside all the skills and technical things I had learned past 15 years about photo, video and gif format.🥹👍
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bellasprettywords · 7 months ago
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Hey, I love your writing! I was wondering if you’d do a little something based off of the lyrics “Well, every once in awhile, she'll find my number in her phone and we'll talk for hours She'll tell me things I would have never known about when we were together She's saying, "Sorry, it's just such a long walk home" So she's coming over cause it's better than being alone” Spencer Reid x female reader. I was thinking more like a Midwest emo alt type of character, totally not someone you’d expect Spencer to go for?
I think your nose is bleeding (Spencer Reid x Reader)
Thank you very very much for the request!! I hope you like this little one shot, because I didn't know the song, but I hope I could meet your expectations🩷✨
My masterlist
Requests are always open🥰
Warnings: Mmm apart of it being a little messy, I think there's nothing, but it fluff
Word count: 1,232
y/n – your name
Spencer and you were kind of an odd couple, excuse me, a couple of friends for the untrained eye. While he’s a trained scholar with a collection of PhDs on Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering; with an impressive job as a profiler at the FBI, which most of the time had him travelling all around the country, and a shy personality with socially awkward tints, and a genius brain. You are a tattoo artist with a free spirit, a soft spot for poetry, love for sassy comebacks, and a special love for midwest emo music. Once upon a time, almost a year ago, Spencer and you were a couple, but the two of you decided to leave things as friends, because your lifestyles were quite different, which made a relationship considerably difficult for you. However, the two of you decided to stay friends, which seemed kind of easier as you established a set of rules to make sure everything between the two of you could flow naturally.
Even if it was as friends, you knew that the two of you seemed like polar opposites, but the love you shared always made you be better for each other, growing up, learning about the other’s point of view, and becoming empathetic, even if you didn’t see eye to eye under certain circumstances. After your break-up, Spencer and you learned to compromise and commit to make sure the friendship could work, sure, sometimes it was hard considering his packed schedule, and your love for spontaneous adventures.
It was a little later than you would usually close the tattoo studio, so you decided to call Spencer to see what he was up to; you hadn’t talked in a while, so you weren’t even sure if he was in the city, but it was worth it to take the shot.
“Hey, y/n, it’s nice to hear from you” you heard Spencer’s voice through the phone
“How are you, mighty Doctor Reid?” you asked excited because, deep down, you were really longing to hear Spencer’s voice
“I’m… I’m alright, you know, just doing my thing; how are you? It’s been ages” he said trying to hide his own excitement to hear from you. Sure, you were friends, but deep down Spencer hoped that with time and more organization, maybe someday the two of you could rekindle your previous relationship
“It’s only been a couple of weeks, but I know what you mean! I’ve missed you Spence, I hope I’m not interrupting you at work or anything” you said, walking to your car
“No, I’m just home solving a puzzle, and deciding what to order for dinner” he said
“Uh, that’s nice, I was actually thinking about going to Little India to get take out. I’m really craving chicken curry, want anything?” you said jokingly, pretty sure Spencer wouldn’t catch the subtext
“Uh… sure, some chicken tikka masala and flatbread would be pretty amazing, thank you for asking” Spencer said, ensuring you he didn’t catch the joke
“An order or chicken tikka masala, white rice, and flatbread, coming right up” you said getting ready to hang up the call, when Spencer interrupted
“Wait, don’t hang up” he said as you turned on your car engine “I want to go with you, if that’s okay, I mean, if it’s not an imposition” he stuttered this time
“It would be delightful, sure, I love talking to you” you said with a shy smile forming on your lips, “What have you been up to? Any cool cases I can know about?” you asked Spencer
“I flew in today from Atlanta, we went to solve a case there” Spencer stared telling you all about the case, the unsub and how the team managed to save the victims that were abducted, when a car cut you off and honcked at you
“Jerk” you said under your breath
“y/n! are you okay? what was that?” Spencer asked frantically
“I’m okay, I’m okay, it was just some jerk” you said hoping to soothe Spencer’s concern “Did you know I hate driving?” you asked the young doctor
“I didn’t know that” he said sounding quite surprised at your revelation
“I really do! That’s why I’d always ask you if we could carpool when we were together” you confessed
“Hu… That would’ve been useful information back then” he said, making sure of making a mental note about that, to ensure to drive you whenever he could do it
The two of you kept talking, and the 40-minute drive that you needed to get to your favorite Indian restaurant, suddenly felt like a 5-minute stroll with the one you loved. Talking to Spencer like this felt amazing, it was peaceful, it almost felt natural like breathing, he always had the right words for you and even when you paused the conversation for a little while, the silence between the two of you was incredibly comfortable. You arrived at your destination and while you were ordering the food, Spencer stayed on the line with you, speaking about an impressive number of folkloric Indian stories, and facts about the country. You picked up the food and drove to Spencer’s apartment, this time, the drive was quite short, but that didn’t mean it was least pleasant with Spence’s rambling
When you arrived to the apartment building, Spencer was already downstairs waiting for you
“Hey boy-genious, I was at least hoping I could separate the orders before giving them to you” you said, a little butt hurt that apparently, Spencer didn’t even want you on his apartment
“What are you talking about? I’m here to help you carry the bags upstairs” he said a little confused by your comment
“Oh, I thought… Never mind” you said brushing off the butterflies that starter fluttering inside your stomach
“I’m really glad you called, you had no idea how much I missed you” Spencer said as you were entering the apartment building
“I missed you too Spence” you said
The night went amazingly, and the damn butterflies wouldn’t go anywhere. The two of you eat dinner together, and it almost felt as you have never broken up, the conversation flowed, and you could feel how this was one of those moments you’d always treasure in your heart
“I should get going, it’s a really long drive home” you said as soon as the clock struck 12:00 am
“Don’t go, please, just… stay the night” Spencer pleaded with his puppy eyes
“I really shouldn’t” you replied, avoiding eye contact with Spencer. Sure, one would argue that a friend can stay over at another friend’s apartment, but you knew that with Spencer it would be complicated, especially as you weren’t over him yet
“I’m begging you, I may seem alright, but as soon as I go to bed without you I feel so… empty and alone. This apartment is not the same without you, as a matter of fact, my life is not the same without you” Spencer said taking your chin so you could look at him in the eye
“If I stay the night, I may never leave” you said, gifting Spencer a side smile
“Maybe I just don’t want you to leave” Spencer said, leaning forward and starring intensively into your eyes, so you did what any normal person who has the object of his or her desire would’ve done: you leaned forward, and kissed Spencer
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whiterexpper · 4 months ago
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Here we go...
Edit2 : removed the nevermore tag for a reason vv
Edit; removed the nevermore tag because
1) nevermore has NOTHING to do with this situation, nevermore is a comic, this is completely different drama that involves a horrible person. Nevermore is a GREAT webtoon that brought a second family together for me, Im not hating on the comic. Im only involving the tag to gather attention to another side issue (its not bigger than the crimson issue. That issue is the main issue and the victims need more focus than anything).
So I haven't said anything about previous events so far, and my point still stands as I will remain quiet as everything has just come to a head with it all. It'll still sit here and marinate and reveal everything about the drama. A lot of people don't know, but all of this drama that happened? (Not the crimson drama, the previous drama about the mass ban) Has happened because Nora (or Sardonyx) personally went out of her way to lie and tell everyone what was happening. Most of the bans were innocent, if not all. And I was scooped up into it by nora herself and told the same shit, and I was only told the right issues involving it because someone who is close friends came forward about it all, and told me and showed me the truth.
Nora(Sardonyx) has had a hold on every dramatic situation, she has lied, been a hypocrite, a two face, and has shown she cannot be trusted. She has decided to talk shit and speak about all of this to a 13 year old, and Nora is 27. Everyone knows this, she is a manipulator who will try her best to make others look bad to get the heat off her back. Another issue with nora is previous conversations I've had with her, in light of them, some of the conversations we've had, she has made toxic remarks towards others. Bad mouthed almost every patreon, and has dragged me into it. I tried to match her jokes, tried to be friendly and laugh along with her. And in that, I'm sorry on my end. I never intended to hurt others, but she has. Again, I dont have any of these screenshots because I did leave any server I was associated with her in, and can't prove it on my end. She probably could, with cherry picked screenshots and edited ones as well.
I again apologize on my end for that, she has manipulated me through every part of our dms and has influenced me to be just as bad of a person. I've learned to be better, and I have talked with one of the people she has talked bad about and we are both on good terms. If no one knows this by now, she is still in the main server, after showing proof of her Threatening to kidnap and torture, her nasty remarks, she has tried to tell others that another person is Homophobic, which was untrue and that would have resulted in a ban. In the end, she's still there. And She's getting away with threats and others. I highly recommended staying away from her, as she has lied, manipulated and bought her way through everyone.
Another issue with nora is her banner situation, she has used NSFW fan art as a banner, fully exposed, unblurred fan art. Not going at the artist, but Nora using that art as her main banner on discord has resulted in minors seeing it. She has spoken to two people who asked her to change in, because they and others were uncomfortable and this was her response.
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She used the main nevermore discord, a server that had NOTHING to do with the situation. Also her lying in this reply, she talks to minors. (Not in the crimson disgusting way-) but she does actively dm minors at the time it happened. She wasn't considerate. And the kidnap and torture mention, well. She never got banned for threatening two people.
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I blocked out the other person and the victims names, as I don't know if they want to be named or not. Some people know who she is but for the sake of tumblr, I'm blurring her out. Through some of mine and her dms, there was some playful flirting going back and forth. Note on playful, by the way, but her being engaged and having a partner and telling me she thought all of it was real? Someone needs to hold her hand when they tell her this....(not me, dont let me go near that crazy woman she might K&T me too...)
But yeah, they were playful, pretty heavy flirting and it got detailed, SURE, its PLAYFUL FLIRTING. it happens. But her saying she's a "lesbian in a straight relationship"? Someone needs to hold her hand and to tell her AGAIN because this just aint it...
But she's still there, I've left the main nevermore server because of her. Because of her lies and manipulation, she has dragged others into this. People who had no involvement in this, but thats her way. She has done it before, DMing other people because she can't fight her own battles. She has to have others do it.
In the end, all I have to say is, Nora (sardonyx) is the one behind all the drama that happens, and will continue to be the one and will continue to get away with it. I highly advise to keep your distance from her , if not well...none of this would have been posted if she didn't go around acting like a 14 year old and spreading rumors about me.
Nora, if you're reading this, tell Eric i feel so bad for him to end up with someone as pathetic as you. And that the person you wanted to get freaky with found out how much of a horrible person you are. And I hope others do the same.
anyway..be careful with her or you might end up kidnapped and tortured <3
(stay safe)
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skrrts · 4 months ago
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challenge up (one-shot) mature!
✧ gn!reader x mingi ✧ he is a famous dj, reader is a guitarist, best friend yunho ✧ genre: non-idol, music festival, first meeting, flirting ✧ word count: 5,4k ✧ warnings: flirting, drinking, suggestive ending, minors dni!
when yunho invited you to join him at a music festival to see his best friend mingi perform, you didn't think you'd somehow end up on stage with the dj and you couldn't quite deny that there was a certain chemistry between the two of you.
a/n: festival mingi but he's a DJ and has all the excuses to jump around on stage. i didn't intend for this to be so long! if you read through all of this, thanks a lot TT i was trying my best to write something more flirty after my fluff drabble for him. short suggestive making-out part at the end (banner for warning), gif is mine
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The sky was made from the prettiest shades of red and orange by the time you finally landed in Los Angeles. While the flight hadn’t been too long, starting in New York, it felt like an eternity to you. No matter how many years passed, flying was not something you enjoyed, but the view was breathtaking nevertheless.
When the doors of the plane opened, you sighed as the heat greeted you. You flashed a smile at the stewardess, who was trying to usher all passengers quickly out to the bus that was waiting for them. Leaving New York with a thirty-minute delay must have messed up quite a few schedules.
Once you made it through the checkout, you felt a great relief to see your guitar case unharmed and waiting for you. Ever since you were little and your dad showed you how to play, you loved playing the guitar. Later, sometime after college, you made it your profession. You formed a band with a few friends, and in the past year, you experienced the first smaller proofs of success. For now, you managed to live from it by working at a studio where you recorded guitar parts for solo artists and their projects.
There was no logical reason for why you brought one of your guitars other than that you never left home without one, and this trip was no different.
You were surprised when Yunho invited you to join him for one of the largest music festivals, featuring the biggest headliners of the DJ scene, from electro to more unique genres. Tickets weren’t cheap, but he insisted that his friend got an invitation to play at one of the stages and gifted him two VIP tickets.
You met Yunho a few years ago during a vacation when your car decided to stop working, and he was the handsome and kind stranger who stopped to help you. Since then, the two of you had become good friends, and it was no surprise that he was waiting for you, although you insisted on just taking an Uber to the hotel where both of you booked rooms.
“I’m glad you made it!” he smiled.
You smiled back. “Well, how often do you get the chance to go VIP and behind the scenes at a festival of this level?”
While you longed to perform in front of bigger crowds, you always stayed humble and appreciated the small base you had in the nightclubs where you played.
“I am not surprised to see you brought your guitar,” Yunho chuckled and helped you with your luggage.
“Well, you never know. Maybe I’ll see all those musicians and go wild all night. Which is exactly why I got my own room,” you explained with a playful grin.
As you got into a taxi, you watched how the day slowly ended and the thousands of lights took over the city you had seen so many times in different movies and TV shows.
“Your first time here?” Yunho asked. He really was a sweet guy, and every time you saw him, he seemed more handsome than in your previous encounters. Always caring and curious, thinking of others first.
“Ah, you could say so! I’ve been to a few places in the United States, but never Los Angeles. I guess they’re allergic to more wanna-be artists. Not that I have any ambitions of moving here, you know?”
You sighed. Some believed music was born in particular places in the world, but you did not like that perspective. Yunho seemed to understand where you were coming from.
“I wouldn’t want to live here either, but it’s worth a few visits, especially during specific times of the year. And you’ll have to come back, considering that the festival is a little outside the city. We’ll only come here for the night. Mingi insisted we stay in a hotel and not camp like all the other festival visitors.”
While the idea probably wasn’t the most tempting to many, you couldn’t deny the adventure would have been interesting. But Yunho took over most of the planning, including the hotel, and there wasn’t much left for you to worry about.
Not to forget that mysterious friend he kept talking about. All you knew was that he was Yunho’s best friend since they were kids, and while they had taken very different career paths, it never changed their bond. No, Yunho often traveled with him around the world.
“You know, you mentioned him quite frequently since we met, but how is it that last month was the first time you mentioned he’s a DJ? He must have made some noise if they invited him.”
Yunho seemed a little shy, rubbing a hand against his cheek. “Well, you know how it is. If it’s your best friend, you don’t really think others might consider him a celebrity. I admire his work, but to me, he’s always just Mingi.”
It made sense. Maybe if you had a friend like that, you’d feel the same.
“You just dropped the word ‘celebrity’... I admit, I didn’t really do a deep dive into all those artists, but I couldn’t really find that name on any stage.”
You felt a little silly. Maybe you should have googled him. Surely there weren’t that many Mingis in the DJ scene.
There was a hint of hesitation, like Yunho felt just as embarrassed for never mentioning it before. “Well, he goes by his stage name ‘FIX ON’. He’s super proud of it, so don’t tell him I never told you.”
The moment the name dropped, your mouth fell wide open.
“Wait, he is THE FIX ON? The guy that was on every amazing mixtape this and last summer!?”
Of course, you were familiar with that one. How could you not be? While your music genre was different, you spent a good amount of time at nightclubs before and after your band's performances. There hadn't been an escape from his music.
“Mhm… he is one of the headliners this year, and he’s really proud of it. You see, this was the one festival he always dreamt of performing at ever since we convinced our parents to let us go here when we were seventeen. It’s a big deal for him.”
You blushed, feeling embarrassed for not having figured it out sooner. But it wasn’t just that. If this was such a big deal for Yunho’s best friend, why were you here, a stranger to the DJ?
“How come you asked me to accompany you? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to be here, really, but it sounds like something more for family or your other friends?”
Yunho chuckled.
“Don’t worry about that. Our other friends are probably glad to escape him because as confident as Mingi is in public and on stage, he gets quite nervous. I thought, if anyone can help with that, maybe it’s someone cool and down to earth like you, who’s familiar with music. Besides, he complained he still didn’t get to meet you even though I mentioned you a few times.”
You couldn’t deny there was a little pressure from all the things you were just told, but it seemed Yunho was counting on you. After being all supportive, how could you not be?
You sighed, followed by a smile.
“Ah, so many compliments. I’m not sure if I can live up to that, but I shall try my best.”
Yunho was quick to smile. “Just be yourself. Somehow, I really feel like you two will hit it off just fine!”
The taxi stopped in front of the hotel, and you were glad to get some time for yourself. You thanked Yunho and wished him a good night since the two of you were going VIP and were supposed to be at the location before most other attendees.
You enjoyed a long shower, prepared the outfit you brought for the first day, and jammed a little on your guitar before finally falling asleep.
You decided to play it safe with your outfit, picking your favorite jeans and a simple tank top, but adorned it with jewelry once you used the strongest sunscreen you managed to buy in the store last night. A pair of sunglasses rounded it up together with the VIP ID that dangled around your neck.
Maybe it couldn’t live up to the fancier outfits you expected many of the festival visitors to wear or the stage performers, but in a way, you were neither of them. If you had to be up all day and night with the sun burning down, you wanted to be comfortable.
When Yunho joined you, he seemed to disagree when you called it boring, complimenting your look. Ironically, the two of you matched well, with him wearing about the same but with a shirt with a FIX ON logo instead of a tank top.
After the two of you had a quick breakfast at the hotel’s restaurant, a driver picked you up, and you quickly learned it was one of Mingi’s managers. If you thought about it, it really shouldn’t be a surprise he had more than one for such a huge event.
Yunho was busy with his phone while you enjoyed the scenery outside. While some might debate whether or not it was breathtaking, you were enjoying every moment of this vacation, and you leaned closer to the window when the large area of the festival appeared. The huge stages in the distance were quite obvious, together with thousands of tents and the familiar shine of an army of caravans for the staff and likely artists to get ready in. The thought of seeing all of this soon filled with so many people excited you.
“What’s the exact plan?”
Your voice seemed to tear Yunho out of his texting session, but he was quick to smile.
“Ah! Mingi has an interview by the time we arrive, so I thought we could look around a little and then meet up with him. While he plays one of the latest sessions, for some reason, they scheduled his fifteen-minute soundcheck as one of the earliest.”
That sounded like a nightmare. Whenever you were playing late at a club, you made sure to sleep in so you’d have the energy to push through and do your best performance. You could only imagine what it must be like to wake up early with the heat of the sun, knowing you were only to perform so late at night.
“He will be okay,” Yunho chuckled. “I just should warn you, he’s probably going to be a little nervous, and with that, he can be a little… tough. Please don’t take it personally or anything, he’s really a sweet guy.”
You leaned in and gave Yunho’s shoulder a gentle poke. “Hey, you said it yourself. You invited me because I know what it could be like. I won’t be pissed about him being nervous before something like a performance of a lifetime. I’m sure we will be fine.”
He was thankful for your playful response, and the two of you thanked the manager, who reminded you to please show up on time, as it would be difficult to get you in afterward.
It was strange to see the festival area without the thousands of viewers you had seen in photos and video clips, but the first day would only open in a few hours with smaller acts before slowly leading to the headliners.
You knew Mingi would play tonight and the same session next weekend, but of course, you’d only be here for the first three days. VIP was exclusive for today with a preferred entrance for the following two days, so you’d get the chance to experience both sides.
Yunho sighed a little, brushing a hand over his forehead after the two of you checked out different setups.
“Hey, let me go and get us something to drink. Why don’t you wait over there in the area with the plants and sofas?”
“That would be great, thanks,” you nodded and watched him rush off.
You found the described area without a problem. It seemed to be meant for the performers to relax, but since this was part of your VIP access, you decided not to worry, especially with most of those people likely not showing up here for some time.
The brown couch was quite comfortable, and you relaxed back, allowing your eyes to close, hand only moving to place the sunglasses on top of your head.
“Why’s it so hot today?” you huffed.
“Perfect weather to heat everyone up. I heard they will spray some water into the crowds later, it will be amazing,” a confident voice answered, and you found yourself sitting up instantly to see who it was.
The first thing you noticed was the bleached white silver hair dancing with the little wind the day offered, a pair of sunglasses on his nose, but his unique features added up well to it. The two moles and the plump lips, which were curled into a confident grin.
He was tall, wearing a top underneath a denim jacket adorned with the FIX ON logo and a good selection of necklaces and rings. The light makeup indicated that he must have just returned from an interview.
While Yunho showed you a few photos of his best friend, in all of them, he looked different, with brown hair and more laid-back clothing. Not that he wasn’t handsome like that as well, but there was something about this hair color that made you swallow hard.
“Is that so? I guess it’s not the worst idea with those temperatures,” you tried to sound casual as you sat up properly.
The DJ didn’t even bother hiding that he was looking at you, and before you knew it, he was sitting down on the free spot next to you.
“It will be an experience! Now, I am sure that I’d remember your face if we had met before. Do you belong to somebody?”
A small grin tugged on his lips, and while he was very obviously hitting on you right now, he was polite and did not get closer, although you could get an even better view sitting so close to him. His muscles are obvious under the tight shirt.
He was taller than you expected; Yunho wasn’t all serious when he said that Mingi was quite a bit shorter than himself. God, they both were handsome! If paired together, there was no doubt others must be looking after them wherever they went.
But this was Yunho’s best friend, and you really should behave unless… there was no harm in a small flirt, was there?
“Well, the event only started, but maybe you just weren’t looking properly?” your voice was playful, and you could see how his grin just grew, likely encouraged by your reaction.
“I really must have been distracted then, but I promise you have my full attention now. I am Mingi. I am performing on the Horizon stage tonight. You should come!”
You pretended to think about it before shrugging.
“I’m afraid I was already invited to watch a performance of somebody.”
There was a hint of disappointment when he listened to your answer, and finally, he leaned in a little. You guessed behind his sunglasses, his eyes caught sight of the VIP ID you were wearing.
“Mh, is that so? Maybe I can convince you to reconsider? I promise you, my show is definitely worth it, and I’m throwing a little afterparty. Lots of drinks, good music, fun people.”
The sunglasses dropped down on his nose, and he looked at you with big dark eyes. This one liked to tease, but you liked it because you also heard how sweet this guy could be. People full of diversity were always your favorites.
“I will think about it,” you winked after taking your sunglasses off.
Mingi smirked. He was about to say something when a stressed-looking woman appeared: “There you are! What are you doing here? Soundchecks start in less than an hour, and we still need to check your equipment!”
The DJ seemed a little annoyed but mostly disappointed, sighing loudly before getting up.
“Duty calls, but I am counting on seeing you later, in the first row, yes?” He pointed at the VIP pass before placing the sunglasses back down.
"I will see.
For a moment, Mingi looked at you as if he wanted to make sure to perfectly memorize you so he would recognize you later for sure before walking off with his manager. You looked after him, surprised he did not even ask for your name.
“Are you okay?” Yunho suddenly stood in front of you, offering you a cool water bottle.
“Your face is all red. Ah, I really thought this spot would offer some more shade.”
You hurried to accept it and shook your head. “Oh no, it’s okay!”
It was only now that you realized you must be blushing. You took a big gulp from the bottle. “Already feeling better! Now, what’s next on the plan?”
Yunho seemed to take your answer as it was and smiled at you. “I would say let’s slowly head to the stage. We can watch the soundcheck, and after that, I will introduce you to Mingi. I just texted him that we arrived, and he’s excited to meet you.”
You chuckled a little to yourself. “So am I.”
His reaction upon realizing it was you would be interesting, but most of all, you suddenly found yourself quite excited to meet him again so soon.
“Please wait here; Mister Song should return from his soundcheck shortly,” the manager said, nodding to the two of you before leaving.
The caravan given to Mingi was cluttered with makeup from an interview, likely outfits for tonight's performance, several bags, and equipment. You made yourself comfortable on the couch that Yunho had cleared.
“Guess this is what success looks like: chaos,” you joked, but couldn't deny it had its charm. While you weren’t exactly the opposite, you always tried to keep the backstage areas tidy to avoid leaving a bad impression.
“I always wondered if that is a personality or an artist trait,” Yunho joked with a quick smile as the door opened and a tall, handsome man stepped inside.
His eyes immediately found his best friend. He dropped his sunglasses and grinned. Before you knew it, the two men met, doing a strange twirl with their heads and giggling like high schoolers. But suddenly, Mingi’s eyes fell on you, and he made the funniest noise.
“You? What?! Yunho!”
Yunho looked a little confused at the DJ, who seemed to be sulking at his best friend.
“What have I done?” he blinked, trying to process what had just happened.
Mingi pointed at you. “Ah! You never told me your friend is hot! Why didn’t you show me a photo?!”
At that moment, he realized you were sitting there, having heard the entire conversation, and his cheeks heated up. It was kind of cute to see him blushing after showcasing his confident side earlier.
“Well, I showed you a video once, the one with the band?” Yunho suggested, looking a little innocent. He was likely thinking about your reaction yesterday upon learning the mysterious best friend was a celebrity.
“Oh… ah!” Mingi cleared his throat, obviously trying to regain his cool while pretending he didn’t just call you hot.
“Nice to meet you! I am Mingi, and I hope this one only told you about my charming sides!”
His voice tried to sound casual, but the blush on his cheeks remained.
You chuckled and shook his hand. “Only pleasant things. Nice to meet you, and thank you for the ticket.”
You lifted the VIP ticket, and Mingi seemed to realize you had come to see HIM perform, the mysterious stranger you wanted to watch.
“You’re very welcome! I’m confident you’ll enjoy the show! The soundcheck was just a very toned-down, rushed version. We will turn this place into a big party, and then we’ll go to the after party. Ah, you two will come, right?”
He forced himself to look from you back to Yunho, who seemed interested how you two seemed suddenly familiar.
“That’s the plan,” Yunho nodded. Mingi seemed pleased with the answer and slowly started to relax.
“It will be worth it. I actually planned most of it myself… with the help of my manager. It isn’t too far from here but enough that we won’t have to worry about privacy. We arranged drivers, so no worries about that. I’ll pick you two up after the performance.”
The door opened again, and a stressed-looking manager returned. “We have a problem.”
Mingi turned around, tilting his head. “What’s up?”
She hesitated for a moment. “Well, Mister Kim just called. His flight was canceled due to poor weather. He won’t make it here in time for the performance.”
You were surprised to see Mingi’s face drop like he had received bad news. Yunho seemed quick to pick up on it, which made sense as the two of them had known each other forever.
“Mister Kim… you mean Hongjoong? I didn’t know he’d come as well?”
It was obvious he was trying to make sense of what exactly it would mean. Mingi groaned softly, covering his face with his hands, likely in an attempt to hide his frustration.
The woman sighed.: “The two prepared a special performance for Mister Song’s newest song, which he intended to show here for the first time.”
There was a moment of silence as everyone looked at Mingi, who shook his head slowly.
“His guitar solo is literally the part that makes it special and different from my other songs, but it can’t be changed… I’ll have to cut it from the setlist. I’d rather not play it than do it with just audio playing. I’m sure I can just shove another song in; I’ll need an hour to change my mix, but that’s fine.”
You felt bad for him. There was nothing worse than preparing for months for a performance only to be forced to cancel a part of it.
While you thought about it, you felt Yunho’s eyes on you. When he wouldn’t stop, you started to get nervous.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked, furrowing your brows.
Now everyone was looking at you, making it even worse. You sank a little into the couch as Yunho smirked, which meant things were about to get dangerous.
“Hey Mingi, nobody knows that Hongjoong was supposed to perform with you, right?”
The younger one frowned at his best friend, trying to figure out what was going on in his mind. “No, I only announced I’d play two new songs.”
Yunho was pleased with the answer, and before you knew it, he fell onto the couch next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.
“Well, let me introduce you then to one of the finest guitarists and rising stars among the rock bands who will play with you tonight.”
“Woah, Yunho! Wait a second.”
You knew you had no chance when the two best friends grinned at each other.
You insisted on doing your hair and makeup yourself while staring at the notes of the song. Mingi donated one of his logo-free jackets to you, promising you looked perfectly fine otherwise. This wasn’t exactly how you liked to go on stage, but a nervous voice in your head told you that maybe like this, nobody would recognize you.
Actually, it was the way to go without freaking out at the thought of performing a song you had never even played along with the other artist in front of around one hundred thousand people who had come to see one of their favorite DJs.
You were happy now about your talent to learn songs quickly. Maybe that was because, during high school, you made some extra cash for college by playing at weddings, which often included requests for songs you didn’t know, and you quickly looked online.
One of the other performers was kind enough to lend you a guitar, and you spent the next four hours going through the song over and over while listening to the audio Mingi sent. The DJ had no time to stay; there were still other appointments before the show that he was forced to attend, but Yunho was the best mental support he could be.
“I don’t feel ready at all,” you sighed deeply while looking at Mingi, who looked stunning. Whoever figured out he should wear fake tattoos for him and advised showing just enough skin to drive every viewer’s imagination insane, good for them!
“Shh, I’ve seen you play several times, and you always nailed it! Just think about that, and before you know it, the one minute and thirty seconds will be over.”
Your friend patted your back while the DJ walked over, taking off his sunglasses to look at you.
“I really appreciate you doing this for me, and I promise, I’ll, like, pay you back somehow,” he mumbled. There was a moment of hesitation before he continued.
“You look really amazing, by the way. No doubt you will steal the show. You know, people always love hot guitarists.” He winked before rushing off to start his session.
Yunho and you stood at the side of the stage, watching as the lights changed and the crowd screamed as Mingi stepped out.
The setup suited him perfectly. The purple and blue lights danced in his silver hair, and the effects on the screen rounded out the remixes and songs he played.
He was incredibly attractive, and if you didn’t have to go out there in less than thirty minutes, you might have found yourself drooling a little.
Mingi wouldn’t stop jumping; he was enjoying himself, and this stage was where he belonged. He kept knocking over his bottles, and you were quite sure there was a moment when his own stage firework startled him a little, which was cute.
The attendees loved the show, and this atmosphere was unlike anything you had ever witnessed.
“Tonight, as promised, there are two new songs I made just for you all here. Are you ready for it?”
It was so cliché; DJs really loved this kind of talk, but it was your sign to get ready.
Yunho showed you a thumbs up, and you were dying inside as Mingi announced you in a similar fashion to how his best friend did earlier.
You were glad you couldn’t see yourself entering the stage on the giant screen, but your stage persona managed to fall in line, and you gave it your all.
It went by too fast while feeling like an eternity. As you finished, your gaze met Mingi’s for a moment, and he gave you an appreciative smirk before asking the crowd for a final cheer as you slipped off.
“That was amazing!” Yunho clapped his hands together while the manager helped you take off the guitar and borrowed in-ears. You flashed her a quick smile of appreciation.
“I hope so… I can’t deny I had somewhat of a blast,” you confessed, and your friend chuckled.
“Good, you deserved it! But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”
Before you could ask what exactly he meant, Yunho returned to watch his best friend perform for another hour before the three of you left together for the afterparty.
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The location was about twenty minutes away, a small group of white tents under the sky, with lighting similar to Mingi’s stage setup. There was a DJ, a fancy large bar with several bartenders, and couches and chairs everywhere.
Around sixty people were in attendance, and Mingi was busy almost the entire time since you arrived, leaving you a little disappointed. At least nobody but Yunho really paid you any attention.
You turned off your phone after the performance when you noticed a wave of notifications coming in, deciding to deal with the aftermath in the morning.
Sure, your friends and bandmates wouldn’t mind it, but no doubt, the press would love to learn how an internationally successful DJ knew this small nightclub guitarist.
After about an hour, you withdrew to the quiet corner of the little setup. It was in the tent furthest from the bar, with an arrangement of bigger potted plants that offered some privacy.
You sat there, finishing off your second drink. It was a nice feeling of the effects of alcohol without being drunk.
“There you are,” it wasn’t Yunho’s voice but Mingi’s.
He still wore the same outfit he did on stage, and it took a bit of control not to stare. Something he caught onto as he grinned, sitting down by your side.
“Sorry for vanishing like that. I learned that if you give people attention in the first hour, they leave you alone for the rest of the night, not only because by then too many drinks distract them.”
“Is that so? Maybe I should make a mental note of that advice for when I get famous,” you casually joked.
“After seeing you play tonight, I have no doubt you will get there, and one day, I will have to be the one politely asking for a collab,” he grinned, and you rolled your eyes.
“Nonsense…”
“Hey, I mean it!” he pouted, but his lips quickly curled into a smile.
“Just give it some time; that’s what I needed too. Five years of hard work, but now I get to travel the world and meet all those people. Though, meeting you today reminded me that it’s nice to have someone who just ... sees me.”
His thoughtful voice made you look at him, and your gazes met. There was something you wanted to say, although you wouldn’t be able to recall later what it was.
Before you could say anything, Mingi leaned in and kissed you.
All on their own, your arms curled around his neck, and you felt his arms pulling you onto his lap, likely seeing the way you kissed him as encouragement.
There was a small gasp as your gazes met for a second. Mingi waited, but you gave him a small nod. If anything, you trusted him because of how he accepted you all day. He was sassy but kind.
You opened your mouth, and his tongue pushed in, twirling around yours. His hand gave your butt in the tight jeans a squeeze, and you gave him a small, playful noise. Sure, the two of you knew there was only so much you could do here, with the risk of anyone walking in, but for a moment, you decided not to care.
His big hand gently tugged on your hair, making your head tilt a little as his lips wandered from yours down to your neck, kissing the spots that were most sensitive. One of his arms curled around your waist to hold you in place as the other slipped underneath your shirt to explore, only a little.
When he felt your breath quicken and your body heat up under his touch, he laughed gently against your skin.
“For somebody as confident, you can let loose rather quickly.”
Your eyes opened, and you grinned back at him.
“Well, only for people who know how to play my kind of music.”
Mingi licked his lips, looking at you in a certain way. The two of you already had taken an interest in each other the moment you met and there was no denial that there was a certain kind of chemistry you shared .
One he wanted to explore.
One you didn’t mind to explore.
“The two of us already had a few drinks and I do not think I am patient enough to get back to the hotel,” he challenged and you already slipped off his lap, grabbing his leather jacket to pull him down into another kiss.
“Agreed. Your manager did leave the car keys with me, in case I’d get tired and wanted to nap… I guess, she didn’t say we can’t rest there together.”
Mingi loved your cheekiness and confidence, bringing your bodies closely together.
“Mh, a break now sounds nice, and there’s a special song of yours I’d love to hear.”
The two of you barely paid a last glance at the location, lips already battling in another kiss as you slipped off to finish this unforgettable night in your own small personal afterparty, safely beyond the locked door of a black car somewhere in the middle of the desert.
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hollycrowned · 3 months ago
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cipherhunt log: some sunny day
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It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?
On July 27th, I went to the Hillsboro Barnes & Noble signing event for The Book of Bill. I’ve decided to come back to this account at least for a moment to write a little bit about what it was like. At the end of this post, there’s some Cipher Hunt related news, so be sure to read all the way through.
The Q&A was a lot of fun. There was excitement in the air even before the event began, with eager fans wearing Dipper hats and flannel shirts hurrying to their seats. A few fans were in cosplay, too, which was heartwarming to see. While there were several kids with their parents in the audience, most of the fans there were younger adults—which really made it hit me that the series first aired over ten years ago.
By total accident I ended up next to the door Alex stepped through and caught his entrance:
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Alex has the type of charm that can get anyone laughing, and his own laughter is contagious. I didn’t record much of the talk, wanting to simply experience it, but here’s a short video I took of him talking about how The Book of Bill came about:
Over the half hour, Alex talked about the the book itself, about the show, his characters, and about creating a television series. Fans, when the mic was turned over to the audience, said what they love most about the series and asked about intentionality and the possibility of crossovers (Alex’s immediate “yes” was a hit). Alex expressed after one question that while he never could have guessed that people would like Gravity Falls so much, he’s grateful for the enduring love fans have for the show.
The event coordinator, who schooled a few questions to Alex before mic was given over to the audience, asked what I think we all want to know: “What are you working on right now?” Alex gave the answer he’s given in the past: that as is typical in Hollywood, he can’t talk about the projects he’s currently involved in.
If you were around when I was active here, you might remember that by the time I left, my focus had become to follow Alex through his career. To recap: after Gravity Falls ended, Deadline reported in 2018 that Alex had signed a multi-year exclusive contract with Netflix. Not long after, Netflix announced the opening of its own animation studio, alongside a reel showcasing some of the artists they’d recruited. The reel highlighted that this group of artists included industry legends, young talent, and diverse voices; each artist in the reel talked how excited they were for what the studio itself meant the future of animation, and for the opportunity to work there. Alex was in this reel, too.
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Although I’ve moved on to other fandoms and my own creative work, I’ve kept up with movements in the animation industry. If you have, too, you may know about the massive cuts and cancellations Netflix has made in the last several years, especially to its animation department. Alex has produced and consulted on a few projects at Netflix since his contract began—chief among them Inside Job, which was initially renewed by for a second season before Netflix reversed their decision six months later and cancelled the series altogether. Shion Takeuchi, the creator of Inside Job and previous writer on Gravity Falls, confirmed the cancellation, saying “I’m heartbroken.” Alex, in a reply, expressed the same, adding, “Grateful to have had the chance to help on one of my best friends shows, for however briefly”.
In the six years since Alex signed his contract with Netflix, there have been hints that he’s been working on a series with his name on the masthead. In late 2020, he tweeted about staffing his new show:
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But if his project was among the cuts Netflix made a few years after that, he gave no sign of it in his answer.
It’s jarring, and saddening, to watch that reel from 2018 with the knowledge of what has happened since. Outside of Netflix, things seem just as dire, with the dragging of AI into animation giants like Disney and Dreamworks by their corporate executives—notably, as The Animation Guilds’ contract approached its expiration date. In 2023, Vulture published an article which included testimonies from four artists who worked on Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse about the unsustainable working conditions at Sony while the film was in production. Over the last few years, Warner Bros has shelved two animated films and one hybrid for multimillion-dollar tax write-offs. In addition, their subsidiary HBO Max purged multiple animated series from its catalogue, denying the artists who worked on them access to their own works—and for some of them, residuals as well.
The final question at the Q&A was from a fan who said that they’re currently in school for animation. They asked Alex if he had any advice for new animators trying to break into the industry. Immediately, my mind went to all of that news I linked in the paragraphs above. I listened intently…
Alex’s response did not have hopelessness in it. He did talk, foremost and with humor, about how risky it is to pursue art as a career, especially at this moment—laughed, as he ended a sentence with, “Don’t go into the arts.” But he moved on from that, and gave an even more honest reply: hone your skills, put your work out there, and don’t give up. Be persistent, share what you make, make what you love. Make sure it’s easy for people to contact you, explore feelings through your work even when it’s uncomfortable, and show your work to others, even though it’s scary. Alex also remarked on creating itself being hard work, from the raw process to putting your art out there to taking criticism to learning from what didn’t work and applying it to your drafts and future projects. Hard work, challenging in more ways than one, on top of an unforgiving cultural moment, yes—but keep going. Keep creating.
Keep making art.
Then the Q&A ended, and the signing began. I found myself at the end of the line, but I didn’t mind; neither did anyone else waiting with me. In the moments when I wasn’t chatting with other fans, I thought about that last question and Alex’s response.
There is little that is easy about being an artist these days. I have come to know this by having friends who are artists, by following the careers and accounts of other artists, by reading the news, and—since becoming an artist myself—finding out firsthand. But I have come to know, just as well, that the best remedy for these ills is community. Whether you create art as a hobby or you have a career in the arts, whether your medium is collaborative or solitary in nature: in the face of intolerable working conditions, cutthroat corporations and corner-cutting clients, the advantages they take, the instability and uncertainty, and what all artists can relate to: the challenges of the creative process itself—it’s the support of your fellow artists that helps you survive. It helps art survive. A community that creates alongside you can give trusted critique, celebrate with you, stand up for you, introduce you to other artists you can learn from, and give what is necessary for so many of us to create at all: encouragement. A voice that says, keep creating. This gives to the world what is necessary for us all: more art.
If tech companies develop their AI by stealing from artists, if the c-suites who own the studios see artists as disposable, with the way freelancing can throw water on creative fire, if popular opinion increasingly trends toward art only having as much value as money it makes, then we must support each other. Helpful, practical advice given by a successful artist on how to succeed in the arts in this particular moment is a gem to anyone who is reaching for that goal. But invaluable and eternal is example; not just of success, but of how to be good to your fellow artists—and in turn, to yourself.
And I just think that’s how an artist ought to be.
As the line moved, and I got close enough to see the signing table across the room, I watched Alex greet the fans ahead of me. I found that he was as sweet to people as I always have heard he is, as I remember from watching the Periscopes he appeared in during Cipher Hunt: generous with his time, genuine, and good-natured. One fan skipped away from the table with their book, and a big smile on their face.
And then it was my turn.
When you meet him, he looks you in the eye. I always forget, until I shake someone else’s hand, how small my own hands are. I told him my name is Holly. He asked, “Spelled how it sounds?” I spelled it for him, reflexively, before I could fully process the question and simply say yes. I said lightheartedly that he must be extra happy to see us, being that we were at the end of the line—it was over three hours after the event had begun—and he said, “I’m sorry you all had to wait for this long.” While he was signing my copy, I asked if he was enjoying Portland—though what I really meant to ask was if he was happy to be back in the PNW, in the summertime. He said yes, he loves it here.
It all happened so fast, with me completely forgetting that I’d passed my phone to a kind father of some fans waiting near me in line, and I almost walked away without getting a picture with him. When you meet a celebrity crush from your younger years, it has you reckon with how the part of you who crushed back then has walked with you through time—in what ways who you were back then is still a part of who you are now, and who you want to be. And, of course, it gets your heart beating a little faster, too.
There was much more I wanted to ask him (this has never stopped being the case), but there were other fans waiting for their turn, and he had given his time to just shy of 150 people already. So I smiled at him, and said thank you, and moved along.
I am, and always will be, excited to see anything Alex makes. Hearing him talk about his art, and artistry, and being an artist, was beyond wonderful; not only young Holly’s wish come true, but inspiring for Holly, today—as an artist in my own right. In the years since I retired this account, as I’ve read all this news about the industry, I’ve often wondered how Alex has been. I am very happy and grateful I was lucky enough to get a ticket to the signing, and meet him.
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And finally…the Cipher Hunt news.
First: the fan waiting in front of me in the signing line (I’m so sorry I didn’t get your name, but if you’re reading this, I hope you had a safe and smooth flight back home!) said she had been to Confusion Hill recently, and that Bill and the treasure box are still there. I haven’t been to Confusion Hill since I last went in 2017–before COVID—but I think about Bill and the treasure box all the time. It made me so happy to hear that fans are still visiting and exchanging treasures. I hope I get to go again, someday soon.
The second announcement: by chance, I happened to meet a fan who is working on a documentary about Cipher Hunt. I introduced myself and said I’d be more than happy to help out with the project! The creator, Keyan Carlile, can be found on both Twitter and YouTube. I hope you’ll follow along!
I met so many other lovely fans while waiting in line, as well. There is still so much affection and excitement for this series, and it was so nice to step back into the fandom, if only or a moment. If we spoke with each other: it was so nice to meet you! Maybe our paths will cross again, someday. And to everyone, all of the fans who were there, and all of you out there with The Book of Bill:
happy reading!! ∆
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gingiesworld · 1 year ago
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Hi, can you do a Wanda x Male Reader? R is a tattoo artist and wanda is going to get a small tattoo, they both like each other and end up dating. R and Wanda are very sexually active and after sex, Wanda likes to draw R's tattoos with her finger.
Ink and Love
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Wanda Maximoff x Male Reader
Warnings : Smut. Fluff
18+ MINORS DNI
Wanda was walking through town with her best friend and roommate Nat. Soon their eyes found a new shop in town which had never been there before.
"That's new." Nat stated as the two looked inside. Wanda's gaze was upon the guy covered in tattoos, smiling softly at his concentration as he tattooed his client. "Wanda?"
"What?" Wanda was soon snapped out of her thoughts by a smirking Nat.
"You should get a tattoo." Nat told her as Wanda shook her head no. "Go on. Just a small one." Nat pulled her inside with her as the tattoo artist was just finishing up with his current client. The two girls listened as he explained about the after care.
"How can I help you?" He asked once the previous customer had left.
"My friend here wants a small tattoo. It's her first one." Nat told him as Wanda was lost for words.
"Have you got any idea in mind?" He asked Wanda who shook her head no. "Can you talk?" He asked her with a smirk.
"Yes." She squeaked out nervously as Nat coughed to hide a laugh. "I mean yes." She spoke in a more steady voice.
"I guess given how you are dressed, maybe these soft gothic designs are more for you." He gestured for her to look through a book.
"I like this one." She spoke as she pointed at a small red rose.
"Where would you like it?" He asked her. "Sometimes these are placed more under the collarbone by most customers."
"That sounds perfect." She mumbled nervously as Nat decided to leave.
"So if you can just pull your dress down a little bit." He asked her as he got all of his equipment ready before shaving the area from any tiny hair folicles that can ruin the tattoo. Wanda watched as he carefully applied the template before he got the ink and the gun prepared. "So, this is your first tattoo?" He asked her as he started. "This will hurt."
"Yes." Wanda winced as he started the needles. "You're my first." She soon blushed when she tried to correct herself.
"Don't worry darling, I know what you mean." He reassured her, lifting his eyes to her emerald irises. If he didn't have a needle in his hand he would have willingly got lost in the sea of green. "Are you single?" He asked her.
"That's a bit personal isn't it." She chuckled as he smiled at her.
"I know but I need you to answer so I can ask another question." He stated with a smirk as Wanda nodded.
"Yes. I am single." She told him.
"Well, would you like to go on a date with me?" He asked her as she just nodded with a smile. That was just the start of their story. After the third date, he had asked her to be his girlfriend to which she answered by pulling him in by the collar into her apartment. That was the first of many times which had urged Nat to buy herself some noise cancelling headphones.
"Fuck." She moaned as she rode him, her hands on his chest, nails digging into his skin as she neared her climax. Y/N not letting her calm down before flipping her over and chasing down his own high.
"Oh." She moaned lewdly as he bit her collarbone, leaving another mark over the already fading one. He soon reached his orgasm with a grunt as she came once more. He pulled out and collapsed beside her, Wanda instantly laying her head on his chest and tracing the outine of his tattoos on his stomach.
"I love you." He spoke for the first time as he gazed at her, watching as a smile etched it's way onto her face as she kissed him tenderly.
"I love you." She whispered before she noticed a new tattoo on his neck. "When did you get this?"
"A friend of mine done it for me." He told her as she traced the new crown tattoo with her name underneath. "I have known for a while that I love you, I was just scared to say it out loud." He admitted as she cuddled into him. Feeling extremely safe until they heard a knock on her bedroom door.
"Can you please fuck quietly. Some of us are trying to sleep here and live a single boring life!" Nat yelled through the door as the couple just chuckled at her.
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valentoru · 3 months ago
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|| Limitless ||
[CHAPTER 15]
SYNOPSIS: Gojo Satoru, a big time artist, who’s known for leaving a trail of broken hearts in his wake wherever he goes. And you, the lead guitarist of an upcoming band, who’s absolutely certain that no one will ever love you. Through an accident in which you happened to kiss Gojo in a frantic state, you both decide, via convenience alone—and zero regard for both of your managers—to pull a fake dating stunt what could go wrong? Any press is good press…right?
PREVIOUS : MASTERLIST : NEXT
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“Now go right.”
“Got it.” Megumi’s finger flicked the indicator. A clicking sound filling the small car. “Going right.”
“No don’t listen to Inumaki. Turn left.”
Inumaki, who had now apologised to you for lashing out at you, leaned forward and swatted Maki’s arm. “Megumi, trust me. Maki’s never been to the farm. It’s on the right.”
“Google Maps says left.”
“Google Maps is wrong.”
“What do I do?” Megumi made a face in the rearview mirror. “Left or right? N/N, what do I do?”
In the back seat, you looked up from the car window and shrugged. “Try right; if it’s wrong, we’ll just turn around.” You shot Maki a quick apologetic glance, but she and Inumaki were too busy mock-glaring each other to notice.
Megumi grimaced, though his voices stayed his usually monotone, “We’ll be late. God; I hate these stupid picnics.”
“We are, like”—you glanced at the cars clock—“one hour late already, I think we can add an extra ten minutes to that. I just hope there’s some food left.” Your stomach had been growling for the past two hours, and there was no way everyone in the car hadn’t noticed.
After the minor argument you’d had with Satoru over text, you’d been tempted to simply skip the picnic. Hole yourself up in your room and practice the drums—just like you had all weekend—ignore the fact you had told him to fuck off in one of the messages later on, and with every little reason. You could use the time to work on a report you were doing for your friend, which was providing a trickery time than you had originally thought when agreeing to it—probably because you were essentially unprepared for everything. But you’d changed your mind last minute, telling yourself that you’d promised Satoru you’d meet here and show off to the department chair. It would be unfair of you to back out after he’d done more than his share of the deal when it came to convincing Maki.
That was of course in the very unlikely case he still wanted anything to do with you.
“Don’t worry, Megumi,” Maki said. “We’ll get there eventually. If anyone asks lest say that a mountain lion attacked us. God, why is it so hot? I bought sunblock, by the way. SPF thirty and fifty. No one is going anywhere without putting it on.”
In the back seat you, Yuta and Inumaki exchanged a resigned look, well acquainted with Maki’s sunscreen obsession.
The picnic was in full swing when you finally arrived, as crowded as most events with free food. You made a beeline for the tables and waved at your advisor, who was sitting in the shade of a giant oak tree with other PR advisors. You’d advisor waved back. No doubt please to see that her advice is probably what got you here. You smiled weakly in a valiant attempt to not look resentful, grabbed a cluster of white grapes, and popped one into your mouth while letting your gaze wander around the fields.
Maki was right. This may was uncommonly hot. There were people everywhere, sitting on the lawn chairs, laying down in the grass, walking in and out of barns—all enjoying the whether. A few were eating from plastic plates on folding tables close to the main house. There were at least thirty games going on—a verity of ball games, some with the players standing in a circled, a soccer match, and something that involved a frisbee and over a dozen half dressed dudes.
“What are they even playing?” You asked Maki. You spotted Choso tackle someone from admin and looked back to the almost empty tables, cringing. Slim picking was all that was left. You wanted a sandwich. A bag of chips. Anything.
“Ultimate Frisbee, i think? I don’t know. Did you put on sunblock? You’re wearing a tank top and shorts, so you really should.”
You but into another grape. “You Americans and your fake sports.”
“I’m pretty sure there are Canadian tournaments of Ultimate Frisbee, too. You know what’s not fake?”
She paused and you looked at her.
“Melanoma. Put on some sunscreen.”
“I will, Mom.” You smiled. “Can I eat first?”
“Eat what? There’s nothing left. Oh, there’s some corn bread over there.”
“Oh, cool. Pass it over.”
“Don’t eat the corn bread, guys.” Yuta popped up between you and Maki. “Yuji said that some guys needed all over it. Where did Megumi go?”
“Parking—holy shit.”
You looked up from your perusal of the table, alarmed by the urgency in Maki’s tone. “What?”
“Just, holy shit.”
“Yeah, what—”
“Holy shit.”
“You mentioned that already.”
“Because—holy shit.”
You glanced around trying to figure out what was going on. “What is—oh there’s Megumi. Maybe he found something to eat?”
“Is that Gojo?”
You were already walking toward Megumi to find something edible and skip the whole sunscreen nonsense altogether but when you heard Satoru’s name, you stopped dead in your tracks. Or maybe it wasn’t Satoru’s names but the way Maki was saying it. “What? Where?”
Yuta pointed at the Ultimate Frisbee crowd, his white hair sticking out like a sore thumb. “That’s him, right? Shirtless?”
“Holy shit,” Maki repeated, her vocabulary suddenly pretty limited, given here twenty something years speaking English. “Is that a six-pack?”
Yuta blinked. “Might even be an eight-pack.”
“Are those his real shoulder?” Maki asked. “Did he have shoulder-enhancement surgery?”
“That must be how he used the contract money,” Inumaki said. “I don’t think shoulders like that exist in nature.”
“God, is that Gojo’s chest?” Megumi leaned his chin over your shoulder “was that thing under his shirt while he was being a dick and shredding my chords a new one? N/N why didn’t you say he was shredded?”
You just stood there, rooted to the ground, arms dangling uselessly at your sides. Because I didn’t know. Because i had no idea. Or maybe you had, a bit, from seeing him push that truck the yesterday—though you’d been trying to suppress that particular mental image.
“Unbelievable” Maki pulled your hand toward herself, overturning it to squirt a healthy dose of sun cream on your palm. “Here, put this in your shoulders. And your legs. And your face, too—you’re probably at thought risk for all sorts of skin stuff, freckles McFreckleface. Megs, you too.”
You nodded numbly and began to massage the sunscreen into your arms and thighs. You breathed in the smell of coconut oil; trying really hard not to the about Satoru and about the fact he really did look like that. Mostly failing, but hey.
“Are there actual studies?” Yuta asked.
“Mmm?” Maki was pulling her hair into a bun.
“On the link between freckles and skin cancer”
“I don’t know.”
“Feels like there would be.”
“True. I wanna know now.”
“Hold on. Is there Wi-Fi here?”
“N/N do you have internet?”
You wiped your hands in a napkin that looked mostly unused. “I left my phone in Megumi’s car.”
You turned your head away from Maki and Yuta who were studying the screen of Yuta’s iPhone, until you had a good view of the Ultimate Frisbees group—fourteen men and zero women. It probably had to go with the general excess if testosterone in your work place. At least half of the players were people you were sure you’d never seen before except Satoru, of course, and Geto, and Yuji who despite his usual jittery self and then was doing a fairly good job at not-jittering to say he’s usually pumped up with caffeine to a point of concern. All men were equally shirtless. Though, no. Not equal at all. There was nothing equal about Satoru.
You weren’t like this. You were really not. You could count the number of guys you’d been this viscerally attracted to on one hand. Actually—on one finger. And at the moment said guy was running towards you, because Suguru Geto, and bless his heart, had just thrown the Frisbee way too clumsily, and it was now in a patch of grass approximately ten feet from you. And Satoru, shirtless Satoru, just happened to be the one closest to where it landed.
“Oh, check out this paper.” Yuta sounded excited.
“Khalesi et al., 2013. It’s a meta-analysis. ‘Cutaneous markers of photo-damage and risk of basal cell carcinoma of the skin.’ In cancer epidemiology, biomarkers and prevention.”
Yuta fist pumped. “Y/N are you listening?”
Nope. No, you were not. You were mostly trying to help the your brain, and your eyes, too. Of your fake boyfriend and the sudden warm ache in your stomach. You just wished that you were elsewhere. That you were temporarily blind and deaf.
“Hear this: solar lentigines had weak but positive association with basal cell carcinoma, with odds ratios around 1.5. Okay i don’t like this. Yuta hold the phone. I’m giving Y/N more sunscreen. Here’s SPF fifty; it’s probably what you need.”
You tore your eyes from Satoru’s chest, which was alarmingly close, and turned around, stepping away from Maki. “Wait. I already put some on.”
“Y/N,” Maki told you, with that sensible, motherly tone she used whenever you dipped and confessed that you mostly got your veggie servings from french fries, or that you washed your colours and whites in the same load. “You know the literature.”
“I do not know the literature, and neither do you, you just know one line from one abstract and—”
Maki grabbed your hand again and poured half a gallon of lotion in it. So much of it that you had to use your left palm to prevent it from spilling over—until you were just standing there like an idiot, you hands cupped like a beggar as you half frowns in goddamn sunscreen.
“Here you go.” Maki smiled brightly. “Now you can protect yourself from basal cell carcinoma. Which, frankly, sounds awful.”
“I…” you would have face-palmed, if you’d had the freedom to move your upper limbs. “I hate sunscreen. It’s sticky and it makes me smell like a piña colada and—this is way too much.”
“Just put on as much as your skin will absorb. Especially around the freckled areas. The rest you can share with someone.”
“Okay. Maki, you take some, you too Megumi. You’re a pale for God’s sake.”
“Pale with no freckles, though.” He smiled proudly like he’d created his genotype all on his own.
You turned to Yuta. “I already put on a ton. Thanks, babe.” He leans down for a brief kiss to Maki’s cheek, which almost devolved into a make out session.
You tried not to sigh. “Guys, what do I do with this?”
“Just find someone else. Where did Inumaki go?”
Yuta snorted. “Over there, with Sukuna.”
“Sukuna?”
“Yeah that sadist that’s related to Yuji in some way but none of us know how, you know the one.”
“Is he pissing him off? Or—”
“Guys.” It took all you had not to yell. “I have no mobility. Please, fix this sunscreen mess you created.”
“God, N/N” Maki rolled her eyes. “Your so dramatic sometimes. Hang on—” she waved at someone behind your, and when she spoke her voice was much louder. “Hey, Gojo! Have you put on sunscreen yet?”
In the span of a microsecond your entire brain burst into flames then crumbled into a pile of ashes. Just like that, one hundred million neurones, one thousand billion glial cells, and who knows how many millilitres of cerebrospinal fluid, just ceased to exist. The rest of your body was not doing very well, either, since you could feel your organs shut down in real time. From the very beginning of your acquaintance with Satoru there had been about ten instances of you wishing to drop dead on the spot, for the earth to open up and swallow your whole, for a cataclysm to hit and spare you from the embarrassment of your interactions. This time, though it felt as though the end of the world might happen for real.
Don’t turn around, what’s left of your central nervous system told you. Pretend you didn’t hear Maki. Will this into nonexistence. But it was impossible. There was this triangle of sorts, formed by You, Maki in front of you, and Satoru probably—surely—standing behind you; it wasn’t as if your had a choice. Any choice. Especially when Satoru, who couldn’t possibly imagine the depraved direction of Maki’s thoughts, who couldn’t possibly see the bucketful of sunscreen that had taken residence in your hands, said, “No.”
Well. Shit.
You spun around, and there he was—sweaty holding a Frisbee in his left hand and so very, very shirtless. He walked over to you, a perplexed look briefly occupying his face before he returned to his regular stoic one, then one of slight shock upon seeing your hands. He knew exactly what was coming.
“Perfect. Y/N has some extra, why don’t you let her put it on you?” Somehow the complete severity of the situation only just dawned on you when the words left Maki’s lips. You were going to have to touch him. Touch his abs. And his large shoulder blades. His large shoulders—
“Oh okay, sure.” He threw the Frisbee back to the game telling them that he had to do something. Your eyes shot to him. Why was he agreeing to this? Many thoughts circled your mind. The main one being panic. You couldn’t do this. No way. There was no way you would lather Satoru Gojo in sunscreen in front of every person you have ever—and will ever know. Your eyes flickered between the sunscreen in your hands and Satoru’s broad chest. You were not going to do this. No way in hell. You couldn’t. And yet the sunscreen in your hands had started to seep through the cracks in your hands leaving you with only one choice.
Fuck your life, for a real one.
You took once glance at Satoru to check his expression, you wanted him to retract his former statement, tell you that it was absolutely unacceptable considering the fact that you had only known this guy for a little over two months now and had spoken to him a total of twenty-three times and hardly knew anything about him. And despite all that wishing his expression didn’t change.
You raised your hand and started to massage the sunscreen into his chest. His firm chest. You tried your very best not to panic, but the sweat began to collect in your hairline and the way that the sun was shining on you there was no doubt he could see it, glistening.
“Y/N.” Satoru said, it wasn’t loud enough that the group now behind you could hear but it was loud enough that you could hear. You looked up at him, his mouth did one of those twitch-things of his again. “Don’t worry about it.”
You heaved a sigh. He was right, you guys were going to find yourself in situations like this all the time now, considering you had a track record for it with Maki. However that didn’t make the situation any less embarrassing. If anything that made you more embarrassed at the mere thought of something of this monstrosity happening ever again. Part of you couldn’t believe what you had gotten yourself into the other part told you you were insane. Of course this was your life, of course because what other purpose would your best friend had than to make it hell?
You continued to massage it into his skin. “Hey, Y/N are you good for a room when we go to Geto’s thing?” Your head whipped around to Maki as a small seed of anxiety planted itself in your thoughts. What on earth could that question entail?
“I thought we’d be sharing?”
“Well, about that. I’m going to share with Yuta, do you mind?”
Right, of course. “No! Not at all.” You forced a tight smile onto your face and looked back at Satoru, trying to focus all your attention on him.
“You’re gonna be okay for getting a room? You’re sure?”
“Positive!” You were lying to your best friend. While it felt shitty this is what you had wanted, this is what you had asked for at the start of all this, you had to be happy.
You focused fully on Satoru, blocking all of the thoughts about how you were going to stay in LA for a week out of your head and to be thought about on a later date. By now, you had fully coated Satoru’s front. You looked up at him. He cocked his head ever so slightly. His thick brown hair sticking to his forehead.
“Can you turn around? I finished your front.” He nodded then turned around. You were now met with his back. Holy shit was his back big. You couldn’t see all his muscles. Which wasn’t something you were typically attracted too but considering when he’s dressed he looks so skinny, his sleeper build was causing that heat to erupt in your stomach again. You were going to fight it off but you were interrupted by Satoru’s awkward swaying, you’d been buried in your mind for far too long.
You began to massage the sunscreen into his back, his muscles moved a little, jolting when you hit tight spots. This felt wrong. Like an outer body experience. Part of you thought you were going to double down on yourself at any moment. It was all just too much. You wanted you laugh at the pure idiocy of the situation but at the same time you wanted to cry at it. It was wrong—on every level possible.
You finished his back as fast as you could finishing it off with two taps on his back to let him know you were done—something you would cringe about when trying to fall asleep that night. He turned back to you. You looked at him, straining your neck. Why was he so goddamn tall?
“Well, thank you Y/N and thank you Maki for…watching out for me?” With that he ran back to the game. Maybe he was still annoyed at you for yesterday’s mini argument. You stood rooted to the spot for a moment before turning around and grabbing the same napkin you had used the first time to wipe your hands and wiped them again.
“Wow.” Megumi said, approaching you. “That was an insane amount of sexual tension I just saw.”
You whipped your head around to Megumi, a breathy laugh forcing out of your lungs. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, Megs.”
“That was like hella sexual. You just lathered him up N/N.”
“So what? It’s just an acquaintance helping an acquaintance.”
“Psh. Yeah right.”
“What? I’m being serious Megumi.” Your voice went a few octaves higher than you would have liked.
“Sure. If you guys ever fuck don’t say I didn’t tell you it would happen.” You rolled your eyes and shoved his shoulder. He dramatically stumbled away from you causing you to roll your eyes once again. Before he could get back up you walked over to Yuta and Maki who were now finally joined by Inumaki.
“Y/N I just saw that scene with Gojo when I was talking to Sukuna, what was with the PDA?”
You stared at him. Dumbfound.
“Well come on. You used to complain about how gross couples who publicly doted on each were, where’s that same energy now?”
You stared at him a second more. Toge Inumaki. Your childhood “best friend” and known for being a notorious asshole when it came to teasing. There was nothing Toge did better then pissing people off, which was being shown ever so clearly to you in that moment, one of the main factors to answer for why people don’t like him.
It took you more than physically restraint to not tell him to fuck off, or to sock him right in the face, instead you opted for the latter’s latter and shoved his head back, plopping yourself next to Maki leaving a spot for Megumi next to you.
You would be counting down the seconds till you could go home.
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TAGLIST(33/50): @bbmsxlene @lunavelha @satoryaa @tranzumaki @k-kkiana @luvkvni @lysaray @kalulakunundrum @arysbruv @r4veeen @stillnotherapy @catobsessedlady @colortheoryrocks @minzxec @dazqa @packsvlog @luvvmae @simplysm1le @mintfyi @disenchantedzs @littlecritteryay @fackeraccount @astro-stars @lavender-hvze @miizuzu @rayrayline @kanaojacksonofc @letsmyy @serenadesvt @art-n-rot @aastrobliss @herdemisee @tikideedee
AN:
…Heh…
It feels so jobless to ask you guys to talk to me in my ask box….
Bruh this chap is SO DUMB
© valentoru all rights reserved- do not publish my work on other platforms, plagiarise or translate.
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urf1lterr · 1 year ago
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afterglow | pedro pascal [2/3]
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"tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when i lose my mind"
previous chapter: [1]
summary: being nominated for an oscar was a dream come true, until you had to spend the rest of the night near your deceitful ex who still loved you.
pairing: actor!pedro x actress!reader
genre: acting world!au, enemies/exes to lovers ?? au | angst, fluff, fighting, mature
word count: 15k
status: 2/3 complete
author's note: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT LOVES. even though its gonna be three parts lol i still want you to want more. i've been confused on my writing because tbh- i feel like i could do better and keep rushing with these storylines and end up regretting them AFTER they are posted lol. not edited- it really isn't.
"Let's cut the chit-chat and get some real answers, why did y'all breakup?"
"Andrew!"
"Three days have passed, she's fine now," he defended, shrugging as Florence shot him an irritated look by his prying behavior.
It has indeed been a few days since the terrible night that consisted in you meeting your favorite artist, crying beside her, running awkwardly away right after, having a screaming match with your ex, and then passing out in the car.
So, you couldn't deny it wasn't a memorable night.
The past three days could've been better to say the least if your management team stopped spamming you with text messages concerning the fight, maybe even ignoring the loads of pictures of your crying face.
Oh, the pictures. Not a fun sight to see.
Luckily for you, the pictures were only ones inside the party near Andrew- not Pedro. Unfortunately, though, your picture was turned into a 'crying in the club' meme.
You couldn't exactly be mad over it, you loved memes.
Thank the Lords the paparazzi were clueless and never ended up catching your argument with Pedro or you wouldn't know how to cover it up.
You could never get away with the typical 'friends fighting' after he shouted how much he loved you.
And bless the celebrities near you for minding their business.
To clear up your meltdown, you took it upon yourself to send out a quick tweet the next morning with a "i'm sorry i'm an emotional drunk. one second we're talking about 500 days of summer and then...well you already know how THAT ends."
In that moment you couldn't care less if people believed you or not, this was going to pass fast anyway.
Now here you were, sitting in front of your kitchen bar as Andrew and Florence decided to pay you a visit because they missed you- or so they say.
Realistically, they wanted to see if you were still a hot mess.
Which you weren't, obviously.
Shailene would have tagged along, but she was busy doing grown up things, such as working on her latest project Andrew claimed which was a slight bummer. She was the mediator, now who else was going to stop the arguments calmly between your two friends.
Florence disagreed, shaking her head. "You can't just ask her that, it's impolite."
Sighing, Andrew sent you an apologetic glance. "Okay, I am sorry." Not taking his eyes off you, you could feel his curiosity and eagerness from the other side of the kitchen. "But we're all thinking it."
Judging by how unresponsive Florence became, you could tell she wasn't going to fight him on this. And well, she was secretly on his side because your fight with Pedro was seriously excessive.
She just wanted to know what he could've done to make you so angry, it didn't make sense to her if he did cheat. He didn't seem like the type, but some people do the most surprising things- so she couldn't really tell.
"Do you want the last reason or all of them?"
Widening his eyes, Andrew shares a glance with Florence for a swift second before finding your eyes. "Last reason?"
"The last fight we had that led us to finalize our breakup."
"Finalize," he giggled, leaning on the marble counter. "This isn't a divorce process."
"For a person who is so concerned about my relationship crisis, you seem to be catch on to the most irrelevant stuff."
"So you admit you still want to be with him," Andrew declared, giving a smug look as you tried to process his words. "If you're still stressing over him, it means you don't want to let him go."
"I never said I was stressing over hi-"
"Did she or did she not just claim she was undergoing a crisis-," Andrew interrupted, slightly raising his voice. "-a relationship crisis, to be exact."
Florence sheepishly looked your way, capturing your stern expression before slowly nodding.
Your male friend clapped his hands loudly before bursting out a wider grin, happy someone had his back. "There we have it, if he's on your mind that much to turn into a crisis- you still love him!"
Furrowing your brows, you didn't know how to respond. It was true, you had many moments where Pedro agitated you even when you haven't been near him for quite some time.
But isn't being wound up over an ex part of healing?
Truth be told, you knew your feelings for Pedro hadn't completely disappeared, but love? You weren't even sure love existed by your past experiences.
"I do not love him," you hiss, vigorously snatching the water bottle on the counter and aggressively opening it. "How can love be real? It's baffling."
"Questioning the real question with a question," he sneers, making Florence and you become confused as ever. "You're so in love him."
Florence cuts in, squinting her face in puzzlement. "Wait- what's the real question she's supposedly questioning with a question?"
"Love!" he cheers happily before placing his hand on his palm, dreamingly gazing at you. "You have your doubts on what love may be, but without knowing it you're having them because you're questioning your love to Pedro since you're too scared to admit you still love him."
"I don't get it."
Rolling your eyes, you swiftly turn away and head towards your living room to lay on your couch. You were not in the mood to have someone else tell you what your feelings were when they weren't you. "I'm done with this conversation."
Hearing a low slapping noise, following an irritated hiss, you could make out Florence's displeased voice. "See what you did! Now she's not going to tell us."
"So much for moral support, you really are nosy," Andrew fought back, whispering loudly.
A minute or two went by since you couldn't make out what they were saying before rushed footsteps soon made their way near you as your friends awkwardly smiled, hoping they didn't upset you too much.
Because they really wanted to know the drama.
Pushing him roughly from behind, Florence sent you an innocent smile as Andrew landed near your side of the couch, trying his best to hold his composure and not turn back around and start another fight.
Placing a light hand on your shoulder, you blankly glance at it before meeting his attention. "We just wanted you to know we totally understand if you aren't comfortable...expressing your past-"
"Get your hand off me and let's get this over with so you two can leave already."
Florence quickly sat right beside Andrew, both not offended with your statement because they were fully aware of how annoying the were becoming.
Before you could say anything, Florence quickly spoke aloud. "Start from the beginning!" Andrew slowly looking back to her, he sent her a confused look. "So we aren't lost, of course."
Laughing lightly, you nod before adjusting yourself on your seat. It was going to be hard to remember all the details clearly because there really wasn't an exact time issues occurred, it kind of just naturally appeared here and there.
Now that you think of it, majority of the tiny disputes during the earlier days of your relationship were probably on the same level as when you two were splitting, but maybe the dense ones created towards the end really made it hard to continue.
"If I'm being totally honest, we never really had problems when we first started dating. He was really great," you begin, clutching onto a pillow you found right beside you. "And he would always make sure to watch me make it inside my house before leaving, that was when I knew he wasn't some fling."
Andrew smirked, nodding proudly. "Classic move."
Smiling at the thought, you focused your mind to uncover the ugly truths that slowly tore you two apart.
"But then one day, I wanna say a few weeks after our second anniversary, we just started...fighting?"
Tilting your head, you look down as sad memories began pouring through your mind completely. "It wasn't our usual small fights over who left the bathroom floor wet or dropping his ipad in the pool-"
"-you dropped his ipad in the pool?" Florence coughed, bewildered by your scandalous actions.
"He wanted to know if it was waterproof," you defended.
"Was it?"
"No," you nervously reply, avoiding their eyes. "But he had it backed up and I bought him a new one!"
"That was kind of a bitchy move," Andrew muttered, catching your pissed gaze. "But at least you made up for it!"
Maybe it wasn't that great of an idea to just throw it in, but he did say he was really curious and wanted to dump it under the sink.
"Anyway," you start back up again, making Andrew lowly sigh in relief. "Our fights were never that serious, or at least not until he started filming for that new tv series he joined."
Florence spoke up, lightly questioning "The Last of Us?"
Nodding, you shrugged. "I guess it's normal to say the time apart did cause a rift in our relationship, but it wasn't too bad. He always made sure to call and facetime at least once every two days."
"But one day when he was visiting during his week break he just...snapped?" you frowned, not even wanting to visualize the tiny argument.
You had to for your own good.
"He had been home for maybe two days before he suddenly became moody. Like- his attitude was insane, I have never seen him like this ever," you sigh, closing your eyes for a second before continuing. "He didn't want to go out to eat, didn't want me to make him food, and when I offered to have it delivered he slammed the bedroom door on my face and claimed he was going to bed."
"Woah, why would he do that?" Andrew asked, seriousness splattered all over his face.
You wish you knew.
"Not sure, I just thought maybe work was stressing him out so I wanted him to have his alone time to clear his mind."
"Did that work?"
Sitting up straighter, you send a sorrowful smile. "For the rest of that week-yes. He ended up apologizing to me when I tried going to bed and said his manager was being tough on him for some scenes they had done."
You remember the moment you walked inside your bedroom, disappointed that he was awake. Not wanting to cause more tension, you planned to sneak under the covers and deal with the incident in the morning.
But his arms slowly wrapping over your waist as you had your back facing him said otherwise. Pulling you closer, you remember the soft "please don't be mad at me" he whispered near your ear, making sure you felt his tight embrace as if to prove you were his.
That night ended with you turning your body over to face him, accepting his open arms as a way to answer his pleading way of forgiveness.
Like always.
"Once he went back to work, we still talked- but I could tell he wasn't fully engaged like he always was," you sulk, remembering the first time you caught him not listening. "It got to the point where I purposely stopped answering his calls."
Your friends quickly send you a shocked look, you continue before they could intercept. "I couldn't handle his lack of attention, I would rather have him panic from the rejected calls than just tell him why I was upset."
It wasn't your best move, but you were frustrated. It wasn't fair that he was the one who got to treat you poorly and you had to accept it.
You admit, maybe if you communicated with him about these issues you could've prevented many future arguments and even saved your relationship.
But you were human and sometimes humans act human.
"Then what happened?" Andrew asked, a curious appearance plastering his face. "You continued ignoring him?"
Laughing lightly, you shake your head. It was the plan, but plans don't always work out. "Actually, he secretly took a flight back home one weekend and confronted me."
Gasping, Florence jumped up in her seat and moved her leg under her. "No way!"
"Yes, way," you sheepishly reply, embarrassed at the memory. You can still picture the way Pedro stood in your shared bedroom as you stepped out of your bathroom, jumping at the sight of him.
Standing with his arms crossed with his bags thrown by the door, he was determined to figure out what was going on with you.
"I wouldn't say we engaged in a heated argument, but it was surprisingly really emotional."
Andrew leaned his body closer, too interested not to let his questions slide. "Were you guys never emotional? I feel like every couple experiences those moments together- it's what makes them stronger."
It should've made you two stronger, but instead it made you weaker without you realizing it.
"Pedro and I had our minor instances, but it never involved problems we were facing," you began, sighing slightly. "All I remember was finding him standing near the bed with no emotion- none. I couldn't read what he may have been feeling, he just looked so....empty?"
"Empty? That's not good." Florence commented.
"That could mean a lot of things, not necessarily anger," Andrew added, trying to make you feel better.
"I knew deep down he was mad, as he should be- I was the one ignoring him," you defended him, taking full responsibility over your childish actions. "But I could tell he was more hurt that mad."
"What did he say?"
"What's going on?" Pedro questioned, his eyes not daring to leave yours as you freeze- stopping your attempts at brushing your wet hair, extremely confused as to why he was here.
He wasn't supposed to visit for another month, or so he said.
"Pedro?" you squint your eyes, still not sure if he was really in front of you or maybe you were daydreaming. You were high off many shots of espressos, it's finally hitting you. "Is that you?"
Still staring plainly at you, he stays right where he was. In any other circumstances he would have run up and wrapped his arms tightly around you, but this night was different.
He looked disorientated, out of place. His eyes lacked intensity as his body followed, looking as stiff as ever. Even his breathing matched his energy, calm yet unsettled.
You left him confused and he did not like that. "Answer my question."
Batting your eyes faster, you realize what was going on and where he was. Gasping, you do the exact opposite of what he wanted. "What the hell are you doing here?! You're not supposed to be home- you could get fired a-"
Taking a hold of your arms, he stills you and ignores your rambling. "What-" he begins, moving his right hand to the back of your neck and forcing you to focus on him only. "-is going on?"
Freezing, you try to back your head away from his grip but he tightens his grasp, making sure to not be too rough so he doesn't actually hurt you- he would never do such a thing. "I don't understand-"
"You haven't been answering my calls, what else is there to understand?" He sternly recalls, not wanting you to bullshit your way out of this. "So you either have been ignoring me on purpose to be petty or this is your way of hinting you don't want to be with me anymore."
Shaking your head frantically, you try to talk but he cuts you off again. "-And don't say you've been busy. You and I both know I would have figured out if you had added projects to your schedule- your mom tells me everything."
If this were a good time, you would have laughed at his side comment regarding your mother, but it wasn't.
"Not everything," you spit out, causing him to squint his face and release his hands from you.
"Are you trying to tell me something? Are you not happy? Is that why you've been avoiding my calls?" he questions, tilting his head in bewilderment, not liking your attitude at the moment. "Because if you really don't want to be with me you should've told me sooner than leaving me feeling fucking clueless while I'm out in another country working."
"I'm not saying I don't want to be with you-"
"But you aren't denying it," he intercepts, firmly nodding in realization. "I get it, I'm just glad I know now and won't have to wait another month to finally understand how you're feeling."
Walking away from you, Pedro walks towards his bags and reaches down for them. You scoff at his disturbed demeanor. There is no way you should be the only one at fault here- you both made mistakes.
Pushing his backpack off his hands, he watches at it lands on the floor before instantly finding your eyes. "Are you seri-"
"Just because I'm avoiding your calls doesn't mean I want to end our relationship" you shriek, glaring at him as his eyes soften at your hidden truth.
Your angered expression and stiff posture hits him like a brick, there was something really bothering you and he was too oblivious to acknowledged it until you began overlooking him.
Taking a deep breath, you watch as your boyfriend intently examines you as if he's trying to read your impractical mind. Sometimes, he wished you would speak up when something was bothering you, in fact- he has told you many times in the past to do so.
But the idea of patiently waiting until it erupts is what he's sure you've normalized in fear of desertion. Or maybe refusal of reality- the two of you weren't perfect.
"What's going on?" He calmly questions again, dropping any signs of fury and replaces it with worry and concern. Reaching out to you, he softly clasps your shoulder before moving in a few inches. "Am I making you upset?"
Slapping his hand away, you cross your arms over your chest in agitation. "I'm mad at you!"
Blinking a few times, he couldn't believe how fast you spilled and chaotic your energy was. He's never seen you act this hysterical and to be honest, he was really debating asking if you were on your period or not. "Why?"
Pursing your lips together, you release your arms and let them fall on your sides. "You know why!" With that, you turn your back to him and make your way back to your bathroom to hide.
At this point, you felt it was acceptable to act unbearable- he left you feeling insignificant and you weren't going to hold it in anymore.
If you stayed there any longer you knew you would break down into tears. Showing your vulnerable side this early into an argument was too easy, you have to show how bold you were in order to get your point across.
Or anger across.
But it was really hard to hold a grudge, he was just so- loving, despite your recent incidents. Deep down, he did care about you and wanted to validate your feelings- or as best he could.
Grabbing anything you could find near your sink, you begin opening some moisturizer and splatter it around your hands to keep you busy. You could feel Pedro come inside your shared bathroom but you don't dare to peep his way.
"Honey- please," you heard him release a soft sigh as he stood behind you, watching through your huge mirror in front of the two of you. He could make out your distressed appearance and you were absolutely not fine. "You can't just steer clear from this, we need to talk about it-"
Slamming the poor jar on the counter, you swiftly twist your body to his front and feel all the rage taking control. "But did you want to talk all those times I called you?! No, you didn't give one fuck about me or Leia!"
"You named your dog after Princess Leia? That's smart," Andrew butted in, grinning. "You know, since he's in the Mandalorian and Star W-"
"We get it."
Maybe it was wrong to bring your beloved corgi into such a serious topic, but she was abandoned by her father too.
"I did talk to you! I made sure to call you whenever I had time an-"
"I'm glad I made it into your schedule- but maybe if you considered adding some compassion and empathy it wouldn't feel like I'm just another business call you hate!"
Panting, you send daggers his way as his eyes widen. Did you just say he doesn't care about your calls? Impossible- he loves your calls, it makes his days better.
"You aren't a business call and you know that. Honey, please understand- hey!" He cuts himself off once you finally had enough of his poor attempts to defend himself, trying to flee but he ends up being quicker on his feet and yanking you back to his arms.
But once you were wrapped around him, even though it was for pure captivity and not warmth, you instantly broke down. He didn't know you were in tears until he felt his shirt become damp and still then he just thought you were trying to spit on him out of anger.
Hearing your tiny whimpers, he immediately glanced down and lifted you up to catch a clear view of your face, despite your protests and blockings. "Baby, I-I didn't mean to make you cry-"
"You don't mean a lot of things," you spit out, swatting his hands that dared to reach your face. You weren't in the mood to make up, all you wanted to do was sleep your troubles away, especially with the draining work day you had.
Continuing your pulling, Pedro began becoming annoyed with your strong protests against his affection. Isn't this what you wanted? "Why won't you let me hold you? I want to console you, can't I be your boyfriend for the night and tomorrow you can continue hating me?"
"You see my tears and now you want to hold me but admit we'll still be out of place tomorrow? That's acceptable for you?" you laugh ruthlessly, allowing space to be brought in front of you. "Do you hear yourself?"
Groaning, he rubs his face hard before speaking his mind, trying not to sound too furious and scare you. "What do you want me to do? I admit, I did lack some energy-"
"Some?" you snort to yourself, your face still wet.
"Don't interrupt me," he declared, shaking his head at how rude you were becoming. "I wasn't the best partner, okay?! There, I admit it, but you don't understand how it is working constantly and not being able to see family and friends and-"
"It's like you don't even know me at all," you ignorantly chuckle over his nonsense and walk towards your bed.
What a way to dismiss your feelings.
"That's not what I meant," he sighs, following after and stopping you from opening your covers and hiding underneath them. "It's just hard being away from everyone I love, I'm in a different country. It's not like I can drive an hour away and suddenly see them!"
"I can't do that either!"
"Can't you just please, please, please- consider that my mindset is not good right now," he declares, his eyes filling with sadness as his arms slowly find your waist. Taking a deep breath, you watch as he looked up at the ceiling before biting his lip. "I know I am not being the best partner right now- or for the past few months, but I am trying."
As soon as uncertainty flushed your face, his hands tightened as his expression deepened into an emotion you never seen him explore before- dejection.
"I can't promise you I'm suddenly going to wake up and give you 110% every interaction we have," he began, his voice lowering as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "But I confess- I am being a little shit and I am willing to work on that. Just please- please don't push me away. Try to understand my situation."
He wasn't wrong, his life switched around once he accepted the role of Joel Miller and you should've known from the start he would face some difficulties. Maybe you were being too self-centered and invalidated his feeling too, not just him.
Sometimes he wasn't good with words when expressing himself and made you feel as if you weren't as popular as him, but you knew it was never his intention to hurt you like that. He had a heart and loved to use it.
Fighting over work should never be a reason to be miserable especially when it's how you both get your income.
"I-I understand," you lightly speak up, watching as his eyes light up by the sound of your now calm voice filling his ears. "I just want you to know that it didn't make me feel good-"
"Of course it wouldn't make you feel good, I was being horrible," Pedro intercepted, pulling you into a tight hug and landing his face in your neck. "And if I wasn't thousands of miles away I would totally spoil you with kisses and chocolates as my sorry."
"Chocolates are still in favor," you joke and feel him softly swat your bottom in disapproval.
Pulling away, he leans his face closer to yours and plants a sweet kiss upon your lips before backing up an inch and whispering softly, "I love you, you know that right?"
Smiling, you slowly nod and surprise him with a deeper kiss before answering him back with a familiar, "I love you, too."
"You better," he smirks, pulling his body on top of yours, hearing your light squeaks once your back hit the mattress and his lips snuck their way into the crook of your neck.
"Did you end up getting chocolates?" Andrew immediately questioned once you finished your long recollection of memories.
"That's not important," Florence rolled her eyes.
"I mean he did promise her it."
Chuckling at his curiosity, it amused you how focused he was about some candy. "Yes, he did- for like a month and then I got over them."
"Understandable," Andrew replied, looking down at his lap.
Florence jumped over him, making herself sit closer to you as he winced at her sudden movements. "Then what happened?! I mean, there had to be more right?"
"My god woman, I hope you're not working for TMZ," Andrew joked.
She shushed him before leaning closer to you, signaling you to continue on with your memories. "After that fight, things became pretty normal again. We would call each other with far more energy than before and he would even fly back home often to keep our communication strong."
"And how long did that last?"
Frowning, you took a small breath. "Like three months- then we started fighting more."
"Over?"
Rubbing your face, you groaned. "He went back to lacking energy! But that's not even the worst part."
"Please don't tell me he cheated," Andrew begged, covering his eyes with his hands while pulling a sorrow look. "I would never be able to look at him the same."
"I don't know if he did cheat- but I did find out two months before we ended things that he stayed the night at his exes."
Loudly gasping, the company you had began freaking out with their jaws dropping- literally. Florence angrily furrowed her brows, "you've got to be kidding? How is that allowed in a relationship?- It's not!"
Crossing your legs, you shrug as a way to answer her. You really did wonder what was going through his head when he did that. Sadly, you couldn't believe a word he said after you found out what he did.
Maybe that's why you were fine with ending things- because the trust was slowly disappearing.
"Not to mention he would always be with her and ditch plans with me," you form a tight smile, trying not to make things awkward but it was too late.
Who could possible hear this and not feel embarrassed for you? Classic move on his part to follow the 'being friends with my ex is okay' stereotype, but it only left you feeling unwanted and flawed.
Were you not good enough to be in his arms all those times he ditched you for her? And why couldn't he tell you what was really going on- unless he was truly hiding something unspeakable.
"Spill the beans."
Hearing a door slam, you jump up in a daze. You could feel sleep still linger on your body as you crank your neck to the side, capturing the bright '12:47 pm' located on top of your nightstand.
Slowly yanking your body up, you don't stretch as you hurry out of your room to the living room in search of the mysterious person who was either your missing boyfriend or an intruder.
Catching sight of his bright yellow t-shirt as he opens the refrigerator, you could feel your body boil up. "Where have you been? You snuck out last night without even telling me- do you even understand how worried I was?!"
Watching as he gradually turns his head to face yours, Pedro closes the fridge before leaning against the kitchen counter- completely relaxed despite your current state.
"I was out with friends," he declared, grinning to try and take pressure off from you- it didn't work. "I'm sorry, I will tell you next time. I didn't mean to worry you, my love."
Placing your hands on your hips, it pains you that you secretly don't believe a word he's saying. Normally, if this were the case, he would text you if you were sleeping or call you in the morning to inform you with what he'd done.
He did neither one.
Maybe you should test him? Ask him questions and see if he'll freeze up?
"And who were you with?"
He smiled, grabbing a cup from the pantry while easily answering, "Diego and Oscar- we had a couple of drinks and Oscar thought it would be best I stay the night."
Nodding swiftly, you examine him to see if there were any signs of him lying- there weren't. Fuck, you forgot he was an actor. It's literally his job to control his emotions! "And why didn't you call or at least send a simple text?"
After hearing your words, Pedro sends you a small smile before gently placing his cup down. Walking up to you, he opens his arms. "Baby, is that why you're so upset? Because I didn't call?"
Before you could answer, he engulfs you in his arms before swaying you both around. Feeling vibrations as he let out light giggles, you instantly dropped any suspicions you may have had because he had to tell the truth- he would never lie to you.
It's surreal how easily you could throw any convictions out the window when he touched you. It's like he jogged your memory.
"Well, why didn't you at least text?"
Removing his head from your neck, he squeezes you waist and sends you an amused smirk . "Because I was insanely drunk and if I would've used my phone it probably would have resulted in me leaving you hundreds of drunk voicemails confessing my love for you."
"And that's bad?"
He chuckled, shaking his head before pinching your side. "No, but it sure as hell is annoying."
Standing up straighter, you cautiously nod at his answer and watch as he lovingly smiled down at you. "Okay, I believe you."
"Did you really believe him?" Andrew asked.
"I call bullshit," Florence confidently declares, strong on her view that Pedro was not an honest person.
"Let me finish the story!"
Loud footsteps could be heard near your hallway as you stood behind the oven, trying your best to not burn these damn chocolate chip cookies.
Such a basic recipe yet so complex- it was truly aggravating.
"Y/n? Where are you?!" you heard you assistant squeal from a distance.
Trying to properly put your mitten on, you murmur a small "kitchen" before preparing yourself to open the oven. The amount of times you burned yourself thinking it was cool enough not to wear protection-
Point is- always wear protection.
Opening the oven door, you pull the tray of freshly baked cookies towards you as the footsteps became clearly audible. Right when the cookies were in your grip and being lifted, you heard your assistant yelp-
"Pedro was caught leaving his ex's house two days ago."
Throwing yourself up into a standing position, you forget about the tray of cookies until you feel the burning sensation upon your left arm. You accidentally pulled the tray too close to you. "Ow!"
Instantly panicking, your assistant rushes to your side in support and grabs a towel to fill with ice. Pressing downwards on the wound, you wince at the pressure that was building.
"What the hell are you talking about?" you still question, extremely curious to uncover what this situation was.
His ex? That's absurd, he hasn't dated anyone in years when you first met. It's definitely not like he was in contact with them when you made it official, he was always firm when it came with communicating with past relationships.
That was a big no-no, especially when one of your ex's tried reaching out after your last movie dropped. Pedro made it very clear how unhappy he was when he made an appearance at your premiere- your boyfriend not daring to leave your side and even blocking your view whenever your ex had the chance to gawk you up close.
At the time, people thought Pedro only attended because he was close with the director and has always been friendly with other actors. Little did they know he was being extra friendly with you behind the curtains.
"Someone snapped photos of him outside of her door! It looks like he just woke up, too." Grabbing the phone from her hands, you pull it closer to your face and watch what the screen uncovered.
There he was, your boyfriend of two-years smiling brightly as he steps outside her door in the clothes he wore the night before. The same ones he manipulated you with about being with Diego and Oscar that night.
Not just that, but peering on the side of the door was indeed his tall, beautiful ex who definitely aged like fine wine. Hell, she was gorgeous and everybody knew that.
And the fact that they broke up due to their long distance, at the time, did not help this situation. Now that they lived a few cities away, what now? Were you just a doormat he could walk all over and eventually throw away whenever he wanted something new?
Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, you refuse to take your eyes off the screen as your assistant begins speaking. "Did you know he slept over?" Glancing up, she takes your downcast face as an answer and swiftly pulls you in a tight hug. "Oh no, I'm so sorry."
You were sorry for yourself, too. How could he lie right to your face so easily knowing he was doing it- intentionally. And the most fucked up part was he probably knew you would believe him- just like all the other times you did.
"I saw that picture!" Andrew exclaimed, bewildered at his recollection. "I thought the paparazzi caught him lacking after a hook-up- damn, I wish I would've known you were together sooner."
"Same, I would have unfollowed him," Florence added. "And nobody would've known it was because of you- since you two never been public."
Forcing a smile, you give her a tiny nudge on the arm. "Gee, thanks for being so considerate."
"Continue!"
"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before your flee.
Let's just say, things were pretty...eventful once you discovered his scheme.
For starters, after bawling your eyes out on your poor assistant's shoulder, she made her departure in order to clean up the spare bedroom she offered you to take if you weren't comfortable staying at your own place.
You accepted.
Once she was out the door, you fled to your bedroom and grabbed any suitcase close by and began stuffing it to the brim, not caring how disorganized it was professing as you reached for more clothes.
You were almost done packing your second bag full of makeup and bathroom necessities when you heard your front door open. Jumping up, you felt your eyes widen once you heard your name being chanted on by your boyfriend. "Y/n?!"
"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, drastically glancing around your now messy bathroom to make changes to your plan- only take things you really need.
Seconds pass and you find yourself zipping your bag and rushing out the door, that was until your body roughly collided with another- causing you to drop your belongings and land on the floor. Groaning, you hesitantly rise, immediately finding your boyfriend's body nearing yours as he pleads to help you off the ground.
"Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't see you coming out," he apologizes, using his fingertips to clasp your forearms to level you. "Look, I need to tell y-"
"Get off of me," you grit, forcibly slapping his palms off you, causing him to cease and stare stunned. He has never seen you once be this aggressive. Sure, you would reject his embrace whenever you two fought here and there, but slap? Not ever.
Brushing roughly past him, you gripped your larger suitcase by its handles and made a beam to the closest exit. You couldn't be around him, not when thoughts of him being unfaithful constantly drowned your head.
A strong tug of your makeup bag made you halt your movements, not by choice, as Pedro made sure to tighten his grip to prevent you from leaving. Glancing down at his now white, clenched hands, you glare. "Let go."
Shaking his head, he stared you down- irritated that you would just pack up and leave so quickly without even hearing his side of the story. Yes, he should have told you what really happened that night- but he knew how you'd react.
It was better to keep it sealed until he was ready to unveil- or so he thought.
"You let go," he hissed, raising one of his hands and smacking yours with it. You hate how much stronger he still was while only using one hand while you had two- fuck his strength and your poor muscles.
Groaning, you dig your feet onto the ground harder as you continue your tug-a-war charade with your selfish boyfriend who didn't seem to believe space was an understandable coping mechanism after he shattered your small heart.
"Fine," you yelp, shoulders falling slightly as he eases his grip- still holding on though. "We both let go on 3."
Tilting his head, he suddenly grew suspicious by your random middle ground. He knew you well enough to know you don't give up that easily, especially when he's fully sure, by your bolting efforts, you saw the picture. "How do I know you won't just run off after?"
"You're faster and stronger than me, you'll catch me eventually."
Internally agreeing, he knew you had a point. Even if you did escape, your little legs weren't going to get you far- he knows from all the times he tackled you down after you countlessly would steal his food.
"1," you begin, eyeing him to see if he would follow.
"2," he stared at you back, cautiously watching your every step.
Taking a deep breath, you count again. "3!" With that, you release your grip from your bag and watch as he still clutches on to the strap. "What the hell- we agreed on 3 we'd both let go!"
Nervously chuckling, he placed the bag on the ground and sheepishly smiled at you. He was glad to see you finally calming down. "Sorry, I didn't think you would actually do it."
Sending him an annoyed glance, he scratches the back of his neck for assuming you wouldn't follow your word. "Trust me, I always tell the truth."
Wincing at your cold tone, he frowns by your hard demeanor. "About that- I was going to tell you-"
Softly placing a hand over your head, you release a sound of discomfort and miss the way his eyes wander in curiosity.
"Can we talk about this after I take my supplements? I am not feeling too good," you cut him off, slowly touching your forehead as you watch his concern grow. "I forgot to take them this morning."
"You know you get bad migraines when you don't take them," he declared, sighing as he raised his hand and began softly rubbing your temple in ease.
He believed you were being serene because you weren't livid and allowed him to stop you from leaving- how wrong he was.
"I know but I had a crammed morning-"
"This is why we need to hire someone to walk Leia, we don't have enough time majority of the week!" he exhales, making you stare at the floor for the point taken. But there was no way you'd hire someone to walk your dog, that's ridiculous and a waste of money. "We'll talk after, let me grab them- stay here."
Sadly nodding, you allow him to flee towards your bathroom in search for your medicine. Peering you head a few inches to the side, you wait till the coast is clear before slowly, but firmly, grabbing your once lost bag and dashing out of your bedroom.
"I almost forgot about Leia," you muttered to yourself, instantly feeling bad at the thought of how quick you were to forget your baby. How terrible of a mother were you.
And what even was more mind blowing was how Pedro didn't catch your innocent acting. Truthfully, he must be trying to be extra helpful so you would believe him. Too late.
Finding your white corgi near the kitchen, you whistle lowly for her to follow as you peddled your way to your garage. "C'mon doggie, if daddy notices our escape plan he won't let us leave that easil-"
"Y/n?!"
Jaw dropping, you shoot a glance of panic to your dog, who only blankly stares back, before rushing to your parked car. "Just like Batman and Robin- now jump in," you hushed, opening the back seat so you could not only throw your bags back there- but also your tiny-legged corgi who struggles at first, but eventually makes it in.
Once you jumped into your seat and turned on the car, you catch a breathless Pedro rushing out through the door to your side. "Fuck."
"You tricked me!"
"You slept with another woman, asshole!" you yell back, glaring as he rolled his eyes- outraged by how unreasonable you were becoming. All he wanted to do was sit you down and have a normal conversation about this, but instead you kept running away.
Once again, he thinks you need to work on your communication skills.
"You used your failing health to your advantage- how sick are you?" he yelped, offended.
"They were gummy supplements!"
Touching your car door, he sternly peers at you as you quickly lock your doors in case he tried opening it. "I did not sleep with another woman," he started, inhaling strongly before releasing it. "Why would I do that when I am in a committed relationship? Huh? Do you think I am capable of cheating?"
Shrugging innocently, you pull a sarcastic face. "Not sure, I do know you're capable of lying- maybe infidelity is the cherry on top?"
Mouth gapping, he sends you a look of hurt and for a second you feel terrible by your choice of words. In your heart, you wanted to take it back- but your head thought otherwise.
"I would never be unfaithful to you- that's not who I am," he firmly states, feeling like absolute shit that you would even accuse him of being with another woman when you were all he thought about every single second of the day.
Dryly chuckling, you nod along to his words. He feels his heart ache, as if hundreds of knives jabbed through the delicate muscle by your painful mien. Did you really think that lowly of him?
"That's who you are to me now."
Once those words flew out of your mouth and he was able to process it clearly, he paused. Whole body turning stiff and cold, he scolded you profoundly before fiercefully charging towards your car door and pounding for entrance.
It was like a nerve was touched and he was not willing to be forgiving anymore. You struck him hard and he knew you meant it out of pure anger- not genuinely, but his awareness soon became replaced with treachery and he so badly wanted you to pay for your foul words.
"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before fleeing.
Mentally checking off your items before departure, you inhale sharply before lowering down your car's mirror and pressing your garage remote- allowing the door to gradually rise and Pedro to panic.
Cursing in his head, he couldn't let you drive away or else he might never see you for days and he couldn't bear the thought of you moping around in agony without at least hearing from him- the man in the picture- what actually happened that night.
Pressing on the lever and angling down to reverse, you nervously press on the gas and allow your car to drift back as your poor dog watched through the backseat his dad embarrassingly urging you to not go.
You prayed the neighbors couldn't hear a thing, if the cops came you're sure you would never go out in public for at least six months.
Realizing that it was now or never, you see from the corner of your eye a figure running towards the back of your car before a loud thump was heard.
Shakily, pressing on the brakes and putting your car on park, you jump out in horror by the sight of legs near your back tires.
You hit him.
"Shit!" you gasped, involuntarily sprinting- as if your body just knew how to react- and dropping down to your boyfriend's lifeless body-
"You ran him over?!" Andrew and Florence shrieked, interrupting your storytelling, causing you to glare and shush them.
"Shut the fuck up- it's getting to the interesting part!"
Hugging his body tightly, you could feel your face began to fall down and your body slowly begin to tremble. In a matter of seconds, you just knew your garage wasn't going to be a pretty sight to see.
Hitching your breath, you run your hands to your boyfriend's chest and shake him softly in hopes he would open his eyes- he didn't. With tears flushing down your face, you sniff as you grip onto him harder. "Please w-wake up," you begin, trying your best to keep your touch on him but you were a jittering mess. Not being able to stay still, you press your ear over his chest to see his he still had a pulse.
Sighing in relief, he did.
Squeezing his face, you frown as his expressionless face stills. Realizing he might have passed out over a concussion, your lips begin to tremble as you finally breakdown in tears and cradle him.
Leaning over from his side, you bend your body and embrace his head into your neck. "I am such a-a fucking idiot," you squeak, your eyes shutting as you don't have the power to keep them open. "I-I love you- I should've just stayed and t-talked-!"
Cutting yourself off, you ironically feel like the lifeless one despite your literal unconscious boyfriend being in your arms at the moment. Bitch, you really had the nerve. Swiftly kissing his cheek, you plunge yourself into his neck and cushion him with your body- being as fragile as ever when handling him.
Quivering in misery, you keep a strong grip onto him before you felt pressure along your side. "It's been minutes and you still haven't called 911? I could've been dead by now."
Screaming, you instantly drop the figure once on top of you and force your thighs to back up, causing you to sit perplexed on the concrete floor.
Glancing back up, you find your boyfriend brightly grinning your way, using his arms to hold his upper portion up as you looked back in confusion. Didn't you hit him?
"I was my own stunt double for some scenes," he speaks up, smiling to himself proud as you continued staying still, confused as to what had just happened. "As long as you have the right mentality- you can take a pounding."
Registering where he was going with this, you scoff and quickly allow your feet to hit the ground. Following after you, Pedro jumps at your unpleased sight and watches as you cooly open your back door to let your dog jump out before marching towards the door to your house.
"Wait? Are you mad at me for that, too?" He calls out, tilting his head in question and proceeds to get his answer by the slamming of the door behind you. "Never mind."
Angrily storming through your hallway, you accidentally run into the wooden desk placed against the wall. "Ugh!" you scream, turning around and giving it one hard kick before making your way towards your destination- the kitchen.
"What did the desk ever do to you?" Pedro mumbled to himself, stopping right by it once you were out of sight and fixing it back up against the wall, making sure the books settled on top were nested properly before going after you.
"So that's why one of the legs is chipped? I noticed that-"
"Shut up, Andrew."
"Sorry, go on."
Finding you near the blacked marbled kitchen bar, Pedro ceased his movements. To be honest, he was nervous to confront you. Not only did you find out he slept at his ex girlfriend's house, but he made you believe he was dead.
This was not going to end well.
"How could you do this to me?" He hears you ask, you back being in his peripheral view as you leaned your body over the counter, hands gripping the ends roughly.
"Do what?" he idiotically responds back, mentally slapping himself for having the audacity to question something he surely knows.
Slowly turning around, capturing his soft yet worried eyes, he catches onto your tear ones and breaks down on the inside. "Tell me the truth." you gulp, averting your eyes to your feet as you sense him bobble his head. "Did you sleep with her?"
Choking on air, he frantically shakes his head in dismay, not believing you would actually think that despite the past half an hour of him comprehending that you might so. Maybe he just couldn't believe it would ever come out of your mouth- but this whole situation made him nauseous.
Steadily finding his balance, he inched towards your frail body as you kept your contact with the floor strong, not daring to move it even when the sight of his shoes play in your mind. "Honey," he lowly calls out, lifting his fingers to your chin and hastily bringing your vision to his own. "No- I did not sleep or engage in any sexual nor romantic activity with her."
"Then why did you go to her house and not tell me?!" you cried, nudging his hand off your face, him immediately aiming towards your waist to still have you near. "Why would you do this to me? Why would you sleep over when you know how I would feel?"
"I can't tell you," he confesses, whispering softly. Feeling your face fall, you erupt into tears again as you lift up your palms to hide behind them.
Hiccuping, your hands twitch as they support your weight and force you to fall on top of the counter and continue watering your tears there. Everything was unfair and he couldn't seem to realize how bad your fights have progressed throughout the months.
"If you really care about me," you whimper, still behind your hands as he rubs circles on your waist. "You would consider my feelings and understand why I should know what you did with her."
Sighing, he releases you waist and rubs his forehead in frustration. Pedro wasn't the type to hide things in relationships. In fact, he was amazing when it came to expressing feelings and being honest while you were the same- but you typically took longer to reveal your troubles than he did.
But no matter how loyal he was to you, it wasn't his place to share someone else's business no matter who the association may be.
"I know, baby. I know- believe me," he whispers, pulling you in for a hug and lifting you off the counter as your sobs were felt among his chest. It broke his heart. "But I can't betray her, she needed me and trusted me to see her. I can't just deceive her."
"But you can do that to me?" you reply, catching him off guard as he shuts his eyes tightly by how accurate you were being. "It's okay, I understand."
"No," he shakes his head, groaning before staring you down. "You don't understand, hell- I don't understand this either. But what I need you to know is I did not kiss, flirt, wink, tease, or touch her in any sexual way. We did not have sex - there was no removing of any clothing-"
"Then why did you sleepover?!"
"She needed me," he simply replies, causing you to laugh ridiculy.
"I needed you and you left me," you spit out harshly, not believing how he could defend himself and think you would ever fine with it.
Grunting, he runs his hand over his hair before pouring all of his stress onto you. "What do you want me to do? I told you what happened- she needed me, I helped her, it took longer than expected so I fell asleep on the couch- do you want to touch my knotted back for proof? Because you can!"
"Why am I the one being yelled at?" you respond, watching his face fall in disappointment.
Staying in your position for a minute or two, you continued examining him as he did the same, not knowing where this was headed. That was until he motioned with his hand for you to move closer.
"Come here."
Furrowing your brows, you pause at his words. Did he think hugging was going to solve all of your problems- because it wasn't. "No-"
Feeling his arms glide up along your upper body and finally wrapping around your shoulders, he pressed you up against his chest into the warmest bear hug you might have engaged in.
It was...peaceful.
Sighing, he felt your body soften by the touch. Relaxing, you closed your eyes as he made it his mission to not ease up on his grip. "I didn't do anything with her," he whispers, laying his face comfortably on your shoulder. "I promise, I love you."
Sadly, his confession made you break down more as tears flooded your face and your body fell upon his grip. Easily wrapping his palms on the back of your head, he cradled you tightly and never left your sight once the rest of that day and week.
And that's how that fight ended- with you trusting his sweet nothings and letting him take over your body with his hugs and kisses because he somehow made you believe him.
Every single time.
You wish you could have moved on from that topic that night as you allowed him to show you how much he loved you, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.
Especially when paparazzi exploited more pictures with him and his ex the following weeks later.
"And what about your last fight? You know- the one that ended things," Andrew started, making you halt. "What happened then?"
Quickly standing up, you brushed your sweatpants down before sending him a tight smile. Now that you talked about sad memories you hadn't really thought of in months, you knew the mention of your last fight would only break you.
You weren't ready to undergoing the same pain you felt that night.
"I didn't know these talks about my past would take a toll on me, but they have. I don't want to talk about it, but I appreciate the two of you checking up on me- I really do, but I think its time for me to take a shower and maybe nap- it's been a tiring day."
Feeling your discomfort, Florence and Andrew exchanged a weary glance before looking back up to you, hesitantly nodding. Probably an intense memory, they were determined not to mention it again unless you came forward.
"Alright- but give us a call if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just plain old company!" Florence smiled, wrapping her arms around you for a quick hug before pulling back. "We can even have a sleepover."
"Count me out on that one," Andrew joked, bending down to give you the same hug. "But for real, you can cry on my shoulder any time."
"Thanks," you giggle, soon following them towards your front door as they say goodbye to your dog before departing in their own cars.
What an emotional day it has been.
-
"Do I really have to go? It's no use- I already seen the film. I don't want to rewatch it," you whine as your manager hushes you.
Walking down the side of the theatre, you clutch onto the oversized, black leather jacket you were wearing as your manager and assistant walked on either side of you, directing to to the entrance of a random theatre in the city.
Since the Oscars, nothing has really changed. It's been about three weeks now and there wasn't chaos anymore- it seemed like news about that night had already faded.
Regularly, you did chat with Florence, Shailene, and Andrew on the phone- individually at times throughout your past weeks- but nothing too crazy.
You all had your busy schedules and your manager was still being as hardworking as ever trying to exploit more of you to the press and on the screen. Safe to say, every time she had news it would always be something impressive.
Except for today, when she proudly announced after barging into your house during breakfast that there was a new film premiere you had to attend.
It's not like you opposed the idea- but you watched the film when the production team invited you to their private screening. It would be useless watching it again.
But as persistent as ever, your manager claimed there would be great press and directors attending the public's premiere, following with "an Oscar-nominated actress like you must make themself remembered."
As dramatic as always- but at least she was highly active in your career.
She did everything to make you get noticed, especially when you were at your lowest point mentally after your breakup.
Now onto past relationships, you hadn't heard any news regarding Pedro since you last saw him. Not that you wanted to, but for some reason he was still on your mind. Due to the fact you did sit with your friends ranting about your shared troubles, that's likely the reason.
But all jokes aside, you seriously can't stop thinking about him.
However, you were too scared to admit this to anyone. You tried telling Florence, but every time you mentioned his name she would immediately disregard him, pissed by how he treated you.
Which you loved that she had your back, but you needed someone else to have his own- oddly.
Maybe it was your head deep in thoughts that revealed how you were feeling, but your assistant seemed to notice that you weren't okay- mentally.
After checking in and finding a small crowd, you accepted that maybe most of the audience were in their seats already despite the film starting in almost an hour. Nudging you once your manager left to find one of the producers, you glanced at her as she motioned you to move towards the wall.
"What's up?"
She made a face, practically laughing at your question before continuing on. "Why don't you tell me 'what's up?' The whole ride here you've been silent and I know it's not because you were tired- you slept all afternoon, what's really up?"
Chuckling, you roll her eyes at how nosy she was being- but you knew she only wanted to help you. After working together for years, it was a ritual both of you performed: don't let the other be sad.
Surprisingly, it worked every time. She would hide you from people who upset you while you let her have more vacation days whenever she felt the same.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're thinking about him, huh."
Eyes widening, you shake your head quickly as she laughs at your poor attempt of denying her idea. But she knew right from the moment you got lost in your head that he was the one to blame.
"Don't worry, I won't tell," she whispered loudly, causing you to shove her as she laughed louder.
"Shut up, someone might hear you," you hiss, watching as she tried holding her breath to stop herself from cackling again. She just looked like a fish in need of water.
"Don't think about him then," she teased. "If it's making you lost in your thoughts! Wait- why is he in your head? I thought you hated him?"
Coughing, you shake your head. "I don't hate him- I could never."
"Never?" she raises a brow in shock. "I think we're seeing some progress here. You're falling back in loveeeee with him."
"No way," you scoffed as she grinned heavily. "I'm just thinking about the Oscars since that was the last work-related event I've been to since today and you know- he was there so he ended up in my mind...for a little."
She slowly nods, teasing a smug as makes it pretty clear she did not believe one word you said. Your assistant has seen everything, so she is quite familiar with your thoughts regarding Pedro.
She knows when your happily, sadly, angrily, and crazily daydreaming about him. In this case, she's stuck between happily and crazily- not seeming to find any hints of fury and sorrow through your expressions.
But definitely warmth and frustration- all due to him not being able to leave your head.
"When are you just going to admit you still love him?" She blurts out, causing you to snap your heard towards her. "Everybody sees it, you obviously have a soft spot for him if you let him be near you."
"Near me? He's never near me," you laugh. "And I never show signs I want him back, I don't. I made it clear for months now after perfectly avoiding him at all costs."
"Yeah, but he's still on your mind- that must mean something," she declares, causing your small grin to fall into a tight line.
That must mean something.
Did it?
Shaking that thought away, you reject her idea. "It means he traumatized me."
"It means you're in denial and scared to be with him again," she replied, placing her hands on her hips. "Look, I just know you two are meant to be. Next time you see him, talk to him. Tell him how much you care for him- even if you don't want to admit it in a lovey-dovey way. It can be friendly!"
Giving her a strange look, she lowers her energy quickly before looking around the room, making sure no one saw how enthuastic she became.
"You get the point!" she rolls her eyes. "Just be nice, maybe the both of you can form a friendship or just drift apart knowing there's no hard feelings."
"But there is hard feelings," you declared, pointing out the obvious.
There is a reason why you two broke up, like there is also a reason why you despise him. It all comes down to history and actions, which you've both experienced- which is why, again, you broke up.
"Just..." she started, thinking about it for a second before sending you a sincere glance. "-give it a shot. If you don't hate him, like you said, it wouldn't be terrible to be civil."
Slowly nodding, you understand where she's coming from. This tension between Pedro and you was getting old, and the fact it was only you adding fuel to the non-existent fire since you've broken up is sad.
Especially when all he's been around you was sweet and considerate of your feelings, leaving you alone when he felt your energy- except for that one night, but you have to admit that was your fault for riling him up.
The roughness of heels came marching your way, forcing the both of you to instantly lift your head- finding your manager striking a fake breaming grin with two men beside her. She was trying too hard.
"Girls! This is Greg and Shawn- the writers of the film!" she exclaimed, fluttering her lashes rapidly as both men awkwardly raised a hand, waving it.
Releasing a tiny chuckle, you do the same as your assistant walks closer, sticking out her hand to fully gain their attention and introduce herself.
What can you say- she was a charmer.
Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, your manager slightly pulls you closer to the strangers and strangely bobbles her head- preparing whatever gibberish was about to spit out of her talkative mouth.
"Y/n- the boys thought it would be a great idea to sit in the vip selection among other A-listers- isn't that just lovely? We are very grateful for your offer-"
Boys? Oh god- now she was bonding for her hopeful chances of getting a call for an audition.
Compelling a sweet smile, you feel the only possible response you could give them was a meaningless 'thank you so much' after she literally put you on blast to communicate more. The funniest part about this situation was- you already watched the film!
Clearly you never met these writers- but instead the director himself! Your manager should be satisfied enough with that.
"Would you look at the time,-" Greg- you believe, softly gasps while raising his arm to examine the tiny apple watch planted. "Guests are probably filling up in their seats by now, terribly sorry- but we should probably go."
"I hadn't realized how close we were to showtime- we certainly must continue off our conversation after the film is over!" Shawn proclaims, making your manager nod far too quickly. "I look forward to meeting again."
With that, the two men inclined their motions of farewells before taking off down a dimmed hall, likely finding the exact destination set to premiere their comedic film.
Sighing, you send daggers to your managers who barely blinks before coughing out a swift, "What?"
"You really couldn't wait till after the film was over to sweet talk them?"
Dramatically rolling her eyes at your annoyance, she waves you off by your sudden introversion. It was her job to throw her best compliments about you too them, and she knew you were still too young to understand that everything she did was for a cost.
You.
"C'mon grumpy, let's locate the theatre before you start whining that your feet hurt, too."
Feeling your mouth slightly drop from her remark, you hear your assistant cackle right beside you, using her right palm to hold in her giggles while you mentally prepared for what comeback to throw her way.
You got nothing.
Huffing, your legs followed hers as she guided the two of you towards the same hall the men approached minutes before. The closer you've walked, the larger the capacity gathered around.
For such a low-budget film, it sure did gain quite the crowd.
As the rolling of the ending credits flooded the screen once you sat the last two and a half hours trying to act as if you didn't know what was coming next, you wish you had it in you to say the second time made up for the first- but it didn't.
There we have it, tonight was just not your night and endlessly enough- you couldn't blame it on some silly excuse of watching the same film over again.
Not even your assistant's sneaky offerings of her red licorice lifted your blues- and that speaks enough volume to say the least.
"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" the whole-heartedly voice of your manager's voice filled your ears as the three of you sat in the same lobby as before, still not finding a way to escape a cold room.
Oh how you abominated the sharp hits of the air conditioning- it frankly made coming to the theaters a horror unless layers of clothing and a blanket was tagged along.
"Why can't we leave? The film is done and people are walking out."
"We still have to talk to Shawn and Greg!" your manager declared, presenting a look of pure determination to get her way with their levels of skill.
Groaning, you throw your head in absolute exhaustion. Fairly, if your manager hadn't had made such an early visit during the morning hours you're sure you would've been in a better mood.
It was like the more you interacted, the less energy you had to give.
In order to survive the next few hours, you needed your phone or who knows how your fake laughters will sound.
And you call yourself an actress.
Sliding your hand to the back of your pockets, you wait for the feel of your large iphone to surface- but that moment never comes. Swiftly, you check your leather jacket ones just in case you slipped it there without realizing.
You didn't.
Anxiously glancing towards your assistant, your trembling hands find her arm. "Have you seen my phone? It's not on me."
Examining your hands before meeting your eyes, she shrugs it off. "Relax, no need to have a nervous breakdown- I'm sure you left it in the car with your bag-"
"No, I had it on me during the previews."
"We did go to the bathroom, too- why not just go check those two places?" she suggests. Concerned filled you, hoping nobody was capable of actually stealing your phone- it would be such a hassle getting another one. "I'll check the bathroom, you check our seats."
Agreeing, the two of you sneakily escape your manager when her back was turned, unpleasantly speed walking down the familiar hall before parting ways to your needed locations.
Opening the thick, black doors and striding up the long runway, your eyes are met with the same darkened seating area you were in less than twenty minutes ago.
Then and there, you use this desertion in power- running towards the middle rows consider 'vip' and begin your inspection. Fuck, you wish your had some form of light to help- you couldn't see shit.
Sliding your fingers among the seat, you lift up the cushions in hopes it mysteriously pops up, but all you find is pieces of popcorn and gum glued down.
Gross.
Feeling your eyes begin to water, you were sure you were seconds away from crying like a little kid over the loss of your beloved possession before you heard a deep voice call out for your attention.
"Is this yours? I heard it ringing when I came back in and- uh," the person froze, not having the ability to finish off their sentence as you gradually lifted your body off the floor into their view.
Hopelessly praying the stranger was regarding your phone, your eyes search for their hands first and there it was- your phone!
The corners of your mouth lift up, as well as the creases around your eyes as you internally cheer for your discovery. However, it faltered once you noticed a familiar tattoo laying on one of their palms. Moving your eyes up, you're sure your smile completely disappears once you recognize those brown eyes.
How did you not catch onto his voice from down there?
"Uh- yeah- that's mine," you nervously reply, choking on your words that probably made you sound like you were about to lose consciousness by how strung you were, and hesitantly reach out for the device.
Pedro quietly lets you grab it, not saying one word as your hands collide for a split second before the object was back in your own. You didn't miss the name that appeared on the lit up screen when touched- your assistant must have tried calling you to see if the phone would ring in the bathroom.
Smart.
Avoiding awkward farewells, Pedro swiftly turns around and makes his way down the theatre stairs, not daring to continue on with the barely existing conversation you shared. He's leaving, that fast?
Thinking about all your past interactions, he would always try to chat with you- even when you did give him the coldest shoulder of all time- because that's who he was: kind.
But now he's...walking away?
"Hey- uhm," you begin, following clumsily after him, almost tripping on one of the steps as he reaches his final steps and doubtfully turns your way. Once you stood another step ahead of him, you feel that swirling feeling in your stomach again.
You were nervous- you've never felt this way around him during your breakup- never.
Adjusting your arms inside your jacket, a small smile is extracted out of you as you watch his stay flat. He did not look interested one bit and it frightened you to death. "Thanks for finding my phone- I-I was really scared there for a minute."
Not reacting to your little laugh at the end, he replied- dull. "I didn't know it was yours, I would have given it to guest services if so."
Ouch, you're sure you're hurt expression was recognizable on the outside as much as it pained you on the inside. He really did not want to talk to you, even when you're showing your appreciation.
He really was over you.
"I know," you squeak out, not missing the way his eyes tiredly scanned your own as his body stood there stiff as ever. "I just wanted to thank you, that's all- you saved me a lot of trouble."
Coldly laughing from that, he nods. "I'm sure I have."
Your body tingled with rage as he carelessly ignored your warmth and threw jabs in return. "What's with the attitude? I'm doing nothing wrong here- I'm trying to be friendly."
Inching up, his face presents a sullen one and you immediately feel intimated by the height he owned and used as his advantage. Just the first few seconds before he spoke alone made you feel his displeasure. "And what about all those times I was friendly? I received shit so forgive me for allowing you to experience the same treatment you give others."
Loss for words, you were speechless and didn't know what to say back. For one, you were alarmed by his hard demeanor he gifted to you. Second, humiliation soared throughout as he called out your imperfections.
In other words, he wanted you to know you were a bitch.
"And I take that back but-"
Pedro was about to burst out laughing in front of your face, but he held himself together in sake of your feelings. Can you believe that, despite the misery he still cared for your state of mind. "Taking back isn't apologizing."
Sneering, you cross your arms as his eyebrows furrowed in irritation. "Apologize for what? You were the one who fucked my life over."
Scoffing, he shakes his head in vexation by your lack of empathy- as always. "Countless of times we would contemplate our faults and how we could move on and now you're discounting your wrongdoings- typical."
Pedro did not want to have another unpleasant argument with you, especially in a public setting again, and decided it was best to just walk away. If he kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't make this altercation worse.
Meeting his broad back, you lightly gasp as he ignores you altogether and makes his leave far too early for your liking. Charging towards him, you feel his back solidify once your fingers yank him to a halt.
You were not done with this conversation, but you did know once you got home you were definitely going to regret how toxic you were radiating in the room.
"Typical? What do you mean by that?"
"Knock it off and let me walk away, y/n," Pedro warns, still facing his back towards you after blocking your attempts of moving him. "We both know how badly this will end."
You know, but for some reason you don't want him to leave. Was that so bad?
"No, I wanna hear exactly what you have to say about me- maybe it'll make me recognize the ignorant ego I have."
"You're talking out in anger, you're trying to cause a fire that I won't let you ignite," he simply replies, his eyes still not found by his hidden appearance.
Very poetic.
Scowling profoundly, you don't realize what you're doing until you're finally met with his provoked display after. Stalking around his body, you stand in front of him and jab a finger towards his chest. "You're preventing me from bettering myself, isn't that what you always wanted?"
Leaning down until his face with inches away from yours, you make out his hard features clearly now. His face expressed discomfort as his eyes creased while lifting- even his lips stayed hard as a rock. "I'm going to tell you one more time, let me go."
Ignoring his cold shoulder, he inhaled a sharp breath before taking matters into his own hands. You don't want to listen? Fine. But he wasn't going to let you drag him into this any further.
Right as you push another finger up against him, your wrist was taken and roughly pushed down by your side as Pedro's body practically belted against yours. "Get off me!"
"Not until you stop fucking around," he grunted, immediately widening his eyes in realization. He knows you don't like when he casually curses directly to you- even when he doesn't harm. "Sorry- I-I meant when you stop playing around."
Praying that a smile doesn't escape you, it made you feel some type of way capturing his manners and how even though you two were on rocky terms- he still had some respect for you.
"Why are we even fighting right now?" you sigh, slowly softening your muscles in forfeit.
"You tell me- it sounds like you want my attention," he casually replied, releasing your hands and stepping back an inch. "Considering you won't let me leave."
"I'm just trying to have a normal, polite conversation! Is that so wrong?"
Softly laughing, he shakes his head in disappointment. "You don't get it."
Scrunching your face, you become lost by his words. "Get what?"
Scanning the wall before meeting your eyes again, Pedro motions his hands between the two of you. "What do you think will come out of us having a conversation? Acquaintances? Maybe a friendship?"
Thinking about it for a second, you feel your head eventually nod as he squeezes his eyes shut in return. Was that not what he's been trying to do- end in good terms? "It's what's healthy for us."
"Us?!" Pedro groans, sending you a tired gaze that had you weak to the knees. "There is no 'us' anymore. You made that perfectly clear after causing a scene last month in front of your friends."
"I didn't plan on that happening a-"
"I'm even letting go the bigger scene you caused inside the after party- isn't that enough to understand why I feel this way?" he adds on, frustrated that you would think otherwise.
You were the one who caused the attention and brought a bad look on his name. He should be shouting at you like you would have done to him if the roles were reversed.
"I'm not saying we should get back together, all I want-"
"-is a friendship? Some sort of relation that won't make us strangers?" he interjects, causing you to stay silent. That was all he needed to understand what you really wanted: not to let him go. "Look, we had our history, but I don't think it's good we keep in contact anymore."
You swear you felt all air leave your body as your face felt cold. Was he breaking up with you- in life itself?
"I-uhm don't- I don't understand," you cough, scared to make a bigger fool out of yourself. You're sure you probably look like a ghost by how much color you've lost since his recent reveal and again- you were grateful this room was dim. "Why can't we at least be friends? Not even that- why can't we at least know we have each other in our lives? Why end up as strangers?"
"What do you mean? We hadn't talked to each other in almost a year till last month! We basically are strangers," he exclaimed, causing you to look down at your feet as your heart ached.
He wasn't wrong- you just hadn't realized he's been right. And to blame was you, not him. You pushed him away in the first place, he was only kind enough to oblige.
And it was surely pathetic how now you wanted him back in your life, even if it meant not even talking just to assure yourself he still had your back.
He didn't.
"Y/n..." he sadly muttered, trying his best not to hurt your feelings as you were still continued to stay downwards- not wanting to disclose more hurt. "You didn't even say happy birthday to me, how can you be considered a friend? Friends don't do that, not to me at least."
This caused you to glance back up to him, disagreeing immediately as to what he was trying to get at. Of course you knew it was his birthday, you celebrated two with him in the past! "I didn't want to make things weird-"
"You never do but still avoid me like the plague and breakdown whenever I'm too close to your liking. I'm sorry for trying to do what's best and leave us in the past,-" he explains, closing his eyes in discomfort, "-but I can't keep letting this go on. I'm too old to be going back and forth as if this is some high school relationship- it's not."
High school relationship- you never knew simple three words could have you shrinking in guilt.
"And I know things will be easier for you when the time comes- I won't be around to nag you," Pedro tries to lighten up the mood but you can't break the line upon your lips. You were emotionless and it made Pedro upset.
Why would he be upset? You finally deserved learning your lesson after treating him as if he was nothing to you. But despite all your flaws, he still cared for you.
He cares so much that he's willing to let you go so you can do better things in life- without him.
Trying to find the right words to say, you give up. There isn't much to discuss now that he wants nothing to do with you.
You fucked up- for real this time.
In fact, you shouldn't even be hurt- you wanted this. Or at least that's what you thought before last month when he wasn't on your mind 24/7.
Maybe it was the way he begged for your forgiveness after not seeing each other for so long that made you realize how badly you adored him nearby.
Maybe it was the attention he was giving you after you continuously rejected his pleads, furthering the argument until he stormed off in the end.
And maybe you should've took his concluding estrangement announcement seriously before he left you last month.
But just like they say, you never know what you have until it's gone.
"I see," you quietly respond, slowly nodding as a faint grin forms among Pedro's lips, appreciating your cooperation over this mess. "Maybe it is best if we stray away from each other- you can even delete my number."
"I already have," he accidentally blurts out, not realizing how bad that sounds until he hears it himself and cringes. Your sufferable reaction didn't make things better.
"You know what," you fake a laugh, trying to calm your voice as you feel it about to crack any second. The tears were heading your way- you just knew it. "Fuck you."
Pedro's face falls, taken back by your inappropriate language. "Excuse me?"
Noticing your rushed attitude, he wanted to stop you and tell you everything was alright. That everything was going to be easy and how the two of you would get passed this.
But he knew he'd be lying.
"You heard me, fuck you," you casually slip out, scoffing as his eyes darken. "For someone who's so kind to others, I would have thought you would know what words were right to say."
"You're one to talk, sweetheart," he chuckled, staring at you in repulse. "Every time you talk you always have to neglect someone else, I'm fucking glad I don't have to witness that ever again."
"Me too, my family was right- you are a joke who wasted my time."
With that, you make your leave to have the chance of having the last word. Maybe if you left this room faster he would forget about your comment. You knew it was harsh but you didn't know what else to say.
You wanted him to hurt- but to what extent?
Your arm was instantly tugged as Pedro pulled you back, not letting his grip go as his face was still filled with resentment. "And your team was right, you are a bitch."
Freezing, you stare at him in shock as his face doesn't fall once. What the hell is he talking about? "Get away from me or else-"
"Or else what? Weren't you the one physically blocking me from leaving minutes ago? What has changed?" he tries to smirk, manipulating you into believing how ruthless he could be when really he was dying to tell you the act he was pulling. "Cat got your tongue?"
Your face felt hot with rage as you yanked your arm off his hand, catching him by surprise as you glared at him. "I'm so glad I never took you back, you're fucking pathetic."
"And I'm insanely glad you didn’t, saved thousands returning that fucking ring."
Those twelve words made you halt and even made Pedro speechless. By the staggered look planted on his face, you could tell he didn't mean to say that.
Ring? As in, an engagement ring?
Weakly failing to stand straight, you felt your voice crack. "You were going to propose?"
Shaking his head, he swiftly backed away. "I need to go." Before you could stop him, he was already out of the theatre and probably near larger gatherings of people that would only prevent you from talking about this more.
Holding your face with your hands, you couldn't even cry. You didn't know what to do, you were utterly lost for words.
If he was really going to propose like he hinted at, what meaning did your last fight have? Nothing made sense and you don't know how you could move on from this now that he wanted you out of his life completely.
Hearing doors open, you instantly averted your gaze in hopes he had come back in and planned to properly finish what he started.
Instead, you manager came barging in while gripping onto your assistant's wrist harshly.
"Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere and to find out your stupid assistant-"
"Don't you dare disrespect her," you sternly cut her off, watching as her face falters by your sudden tone. "If you're here to pester us some more, feel free to walk home."
Laughing in shock, your manager tilts her head at your rudeness. "Excuse me? It wasn't my fault your assistant wondered off. After everything I have done to protect you and your career you feel the need to throw me out-"
"Did she hurt you?" you cut her off, focusing on your assistant who has gone quiet. You notice the redness on her small wrists before she slowly nods, looking down in fear your manager would try something else.
"You're fired," you simply state, pushing past your frantic ex- manager as you lightly guide your assistant out the door.
You ignore the rage your ex- manager unveils as you make it back to the lobby. Ignoring the waves random people sent your way in hopes of finding your destined car sooner so you could help your assistant with her injuries and be home already.
And in bed to think about what the fuck just happened tonight.
+
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ravensvirginity · 2 months ago
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Titans #15 Review
Oh my god. Where do I even begin.
To start with my one and only positive: the art is gorgeous. Lucas Meyer is the best artist the Titans have had in ages, and his new Raven design really delivered. I'm so sad that it appears that the artist who'll be taking over for him in #16 is undoing his design changes, I think it's a massive shame. I did appreciate the detail of Raven's white cloak design having rings on her index fingers, but it feels a little pointless without the lore of Azar's rings to back it up.
Now, the negatives: literally everything else about this comic. This comic fails to deliver on an eight issue arc in any kind of satisfying way, has a bizarre and out of character tone, and severely misunderstands the lore of its main villain. They literally defeated Trigon with the power of friendship. Maybe that could work in Teen Titans Go, but in a main timeline DC comic? What?
First, the demon Raven stuff. Gar saying that demon Raven and regular Raven aren't two different people--yeah, obviously. The severe degree of separation between demon Raven and regular Raven has been one of the big issues of this arc, and this conclusion is as unsatisfying as the rest of it. Raven and her demon side being able to talk face to face isn't new, but them being two separate people with separate physical bodies who can operate completely independently of each other--while there is some precident for this, to me it's a very strange writing choice and misses the point of a demon Raven arc.
The original idea of Raven and her demon side was that her demon side is her. It's all the worst instincts she inherited from Trigon locked up and carefully controlled. When Trigon takes control of her and turns her into her demon form, everything she's repressed, both good and bad, is released. Raven still having a soft spot for the Titans in her demon form makes sense; she's still Raven, just corrupted by Trigon into something she isn't. Raven deciding to stop being evil (not that she even really was) and going back to normal from one brief conversation with her teammate does not, and is really anticlimactic.
It's just such a waste of the story's potential. If you don't want to commit to Raven being the villain of the story, don't do a demon Raven arc! It's possible to do a Trigon story without Raven being evil, I don't get why they didn't just do that. None of the drama with Raven being evil was particularly well executed, and all it seemed to do was drag the comic on longer and longer with nothing actually happening, because they were unwilling to make Raven actually do anything villanous.
All that pales in comparison to how they defeated Trigon. I don't think I've ever seen such blatant disregard for previous canon. As Raven, powered up by the other Titans, fights Trigon, Gar narrates as follows:
"I doubt Trigon has ever been in a fight. An actual fight. With someone his own size and power level. Never had to face someone like Nightwing one-on-one. Never tried to stand while being pinned by the power of Donna Troy's will. Never been blasted... with a giant-sized Apokoliptian blast from Cyborg. And never, ever... felt the full force of a Tamaranean hit powered by the stars."
WHAT?
This comic canonically takes place in the same timeline as the New Teen Titans. There are many homages to the New Teen Titans. It has been made very clear that the team started as the New Teen Titans, and then after many, many years of crazy comic book history the team reformed as the Titans of this run.
The first ever Trigon arc that introduces him and Raven as characters takes place in the first six issues of the New Teen Titans, and culminates in Trigon being defeated by the Titans and thrown into an interdimensional prison. I can't stress this enough: literally every single one of the things Gar said have never happened to Trigon happen in that fight. Donna uses her lasso to dampen Trigon's will, in combination with Raven and Arella's empathic abilities. Wally rips a hole through the fabric of reality to throw Trigon into, and Kory and Vic connect their powers to amplify their blasts to throw Trigon into the interdimensional rift. The whole thing is coordinated and managed by Dick Grayson (who was still Robin at the time).
Gar was there when all this happened. There is no reason for him to not know that this happened. The only explanation is Tom Taylor doesn't know, or he doesn't care. This would be disappointing for any comic book run, but it leaves an especially sour taste in my mouth for this to happen in a run that's so built on NTT homages. It's clear that the writing could not care less about the comic it was inspired by.
And then Garth causes Trigon to have a heart attack. Okay, that was just stupid. Admittedly, I did think the page of Raven stabbing Trigon was cool (again, the art is really the only saving grace here), but her saying "Fuck you, Dad"? Seriously? An ongoing problem in this run has been the dialog feeling janky and too much like lines from a generic superhero movie, and this line embodies that very well. I'm not opposed to swearing in comic books, but to me, this is not the right time for it. It doesn't fit the moment, and I think it's quite out of character for Raven, even if the sentiment behind it isn't.
And then Trigon isn't even dead? What does "Demons don't die. They just fade away." even mean?? Is he dead or not? Will he come back tomorrow or in a thousand years? It's such a strange, confusing letdown of an ending.
I didn't have high hopes for this issue, but it was somehow worse than I could ever have imagined. I'm so glad that this run is getting a new writer. Here's hoping that the coming issues will actually feel like a team book, and that the decades of lore and characterization of these beloved characters will actually be considered during writing.
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