#after that i turn shapeshift into strawberry ice cream

[scarlettcryptid]

i don't want to work a job i hate until the day i die i am just a crunchwrap supreme trapped in the body of a human being

[ladylamrian]

- Chapter 4: Lovers & Strangers

[ Please read past chapters before this ]

-> Masterlist of this Mini Series <-

Female MainCharacter: Alexis Clarissa Fontaine

Pairing: F!MC×NikRyder

Summary: Paths cross again. Strangers in love.

Word Count: 1.1K words

Rating: Teen (Fluff)

Warnings: none

-> My complete Nightbound Masterlist <-

Taglist: @infactnoimmasitinthemiddle ; @peonierose ; @secretaryunpaid ; @jdstar88 ; @blackcatkita ; @lilyoffandoms ; @liviusofpella ; @mxdanni ; @mariemarieohcontrary ; @tessa-liam ; @choicesficwriterscreations ; @hopelessromantic1352 ; @rosepetals1 ; @stars-are-within-me ; @dutifullynuttywitch ; @artbyalz

Comments via Reblog wholeheartly welcome

Lonely, wandering down the streets of New Orleans while constantly looking back and forth. What was going on? Where did Vera go and why did she leave? Everything around her still looked like the same old New Orleans. Did she somehow accidently time-traveled? No, it can't be... The time was still present, she just checked as a huge poster hung in a shop that advertised an event with the correct date and year. But how was Elijah here and therefore Nik a total stranger?? Shapeshifters perhaps??

"Hey!" A familiar voice greeted her by pulling her away from her current thoughts. She turned around and found herself facing...

"Nik?"

The blond-haired shyly stepped closer to her and gently looked at her which warmed her heart. A sweet smile on his face

"I... I... I didn't thank you for trying to save my life before. Thanks. I'm so glad to see you again. Are you alright?"

"I am now. After seeing you. Where's the dog?"

"I just left her home. My parents will look after her, in the meantime, I will go to my office. Just finished some work and was about to head home."

"Your parents? You live with them? Are you sure these people are your real parents.", Alex asked curiously. The Nik she knew lost his parents when he was a child and now this Nik lived with them. Her question surprised the young man.

"Uhh, yes. There are my real parents, why wouldn't they? I spent my whole life with them. My mother is Cajun if you haven't noticed from my accent."

"Hmmm, okay. I believe you. That's true, your mother was... is Cajun. Ummm... well... I...", she tried to progress while her head was spinning now with more questions than before.

"What is it? You okay? Wanna grab some ice cream with me?"

"Ice cream at night? Uhh, sure.", she agreed, blushing as Nik took her hand and pulled her inside a small shop.

Inside the cashier happily greeted them and prepared their orders. One vanilla ice cream and one pistachio ice cream. Both grabbed their dessert and were seated outside the shop where other customers were having their meals in an outdoor area with tables and chairs.

"Nik, you shouldn't have paid for my ice cream. I had money too."

"But I wanted too. I invited you for some ice cream, didn't I?"

Both smiled shyly at each other which brought an awkward silence between them. At least they could tell that they were focused on finishing their ice cream. The milky dessert sweetened everything. The waffle cone was eaten at last. Soon they were about to finish the cone which made Alex worry. If they finished, he would leave her and she didn't want that. She wanted to stay like this with him forever, hoping this moment together would never end.

"Your milkshake order.", a waiter came by and brought Alex and Nik a strawberry milkshake with only two straws inside. It made both their faces turn pink.

"One milkshake and two straws?", Nik blushed.

"Nik, did you ordered this?", she asked, hoping for Nik to remember everything again because they often shared one drink with two straws inside.

"Oh, my apologies. Wrong table.", the waiter apologized, took back the order and left.

"Ha, how funny! Nik, could you believe he thought we were a couple?!", she joked, trying to start a conversation with him.

"Yup, for someone like me who was never involved in romance or any relationship."

"Wait, what??!! Really? What about your exes?"

"How can I have exes when I was never in any romantic relationship? I just wasn't interested in being in a relationship because I was or am focused on my career and taking care of my parents."

"What career?"

"I teach children, but currently I'm trying to become a lawyer."

"You and children??!!"

"Why not? They're lovely. Purely innocent and sweet. One day I want to get married and have children to build a family.", he explained which highly surprised Alex.

"Wow, Nik... I... I didn't know."

"Beautiful one, you know my name and a bit about myself too now, but what is your name? I'd like to get to know you better too.", he asked which made her smile, especially the fact that he called her beautiful.

"Oh sorry, my name is Alexis. But I only want to be called Alex. It's nice to get to know you better, Nik. And thanks for the ice cream. This made me feel better now. I wish this moment would never end."

"Really, why?"

"Because I... I... I like you. A lot", she hesitated a little.

"The kiss from before..."

"Oh that, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Nik. I shouldn't have, I didn't knew that...", she got interrupted as Nik gently rested his fore-finger on her rosy lips.

"That's alright, I forgot about that. It... It kinda felt good, honestly. You're beautiful, so thanks for trying to save me before.", he confessed while his cheeks turned softly pink. His face moved the distance between her face as he gently cupped her face in his hands.

"Nik, I love you. I love you no matter what. You're perfect."

"Why? You just met me and I'm not someone special. I'm no muscular, athletic guy like many other women might fall in love with. Just a nerd and...", he whispered.

"Hush, Nik. I want to kiss you. Love you. Feel you. Become one with you.", she begged. After all it's been months since she was last together with Nik. She needs him now.

Without holding it together, they got closer. Closer, closer, and closer. Their lips crashed for a passionate kiss, one that made them feel one. Too irresistible to stop. His hands moved over her back and pulled her close to him while her hands were resting on his chest.

After a few more kisses, he quickly pulled away from her and looked away with guilt, asking himself what he was doing right now.

"What am I doing? Sorry, I didn't mean to... Sorry, about this. The kiss. I'm not good at it. I shouldn't have. I would like to get to know you better before... before things go...", he tensed.

"Nik, I..."

"No, I need time to consider. Sorry, I don't know you well enough.", he answered which disappointed her. He didn't know her but she knew him. Her long-lost boyfriend. Her love. Her everything. This Nik was diffrent, but still... He's still Nik. He couldn't be a shapeshifter, because a shapeshifter would try to harm her, try to prove himself as being the real Nik Ryder. But this Nik didn't remember her. He saw Alex as a stranger or maybe a new friend.

"I'm sorry, Nik."

"That's okay, I couldn't resist kissing you either, after the way you kissed me before. It felt good. I'm sorry for that. And I'm sorry again, but I have to leave now. Got pretty late, huh? I hope you liked my ice cream invitation and again thanks for trying to save me before.", he gave her a warm smile, turned his back to leave her, but then stopped.

"What happened?", she asked him. He slowly turned around, trying to meet her eyes.

"That skeleton from before... What was that? It's not like real monsters exist, right? That was fake. Fake, but scary. And the man with weapons who said you were his student? Glowing light arrows? What's going on?", he dared to ask as he hid his fear.

"Nik, don't worry. Everything will be alright. We're in this together.", she closed the distance, placed her hand on his cheek and planted a sweet kiss on his lips which made him feel better.

"Thanks, Alex. When will I meet you again?"

Very soon again, she promised. Soon they will be united again after finding out what really happened to him. Her Nik. Now, both headed separate ways. Nik went to his home and Alex back to the Graveyard Shift where she left some of her friends.

[thefamilyeldritchabomination]

Chapter Fourteen: Mr. Pinstripe Suit Pt. 7

 “Envy, just how fast can you run?” Freddy looked at Envy as they made a massive progress on the monster proportioned parfait.

 “Oh Face Fur, I can easily outrun you if you tried to run from me with plenty more of asskicking in store should that be the case.” Envy glared at Freddy, thinking Freddy was about to dine and dash on them.

 “Bitch that’s not it, I’m asking cause when you have to pose as me, you are going to want to run fast when my rage filled Lobster Man Father comes to town, he’s going to break out the damn pinchers.” Freddy's voice shook in fear for Envy’s own wellbeing at this point as he tried to convey JUST how bad the situation was. 

 “What exactly do you mean the pinchers are coming out?” Envy for a change didn’t attempt to attack Freddy for calling them a ‘bitch’ as they monitored their favorite Face Fur to torment.

 “Fun fact, Joel can break a tree in half with his bare hands alone, that’s why we call them Joel’s pinchers. Thankfully you’ll be disguised as Freddy, so it’ll likely be a shrill screaming fit and possibly getting cut off from the family account for a few months. However, if you’re in this disguise or come in front of him as yourself, you’re going to want to run. He’ll come at you with something worse than the lamp post.” Dolly explained calmly as she shared her peppermint stick sundae with Dorian.

 “The hell did you do to these humans to make them so insane?” Envy nearly choked on their parfait after being given that explanation of what to expect should Joel show up. “The Witch Hunts back in the day traumatized everyone, so I think that was the main culprit. Though, it would be very KIND of you if you’d just tell my Dad you were the one to order that travesty of a dessert so I won’t lose my access to the family account.” Freddy chimed in as he ate his strawberry ice cream slowly as he hoped Envy would be in their horrid gremlin form just so he can see Envy run from a Lobster Man.

 “Okay Face Fur, have it your way, I’ll be myself and tell your mutant father that I ordered the parfait. I’m not afraid of some little human that happens to turn red when angry.” Envy glowered from their half way devoured parfait. 

 “Lust, I’m hungry, when can I go get something to eat?” Gluttony asked before resorting to his coping mechanism of chewing on his knuckles.

 “Aww don’t fret buddy, I’ll be taking you to the morgue after this. It’ll be like an all you can eat buffet there!” Envy had a smug look to their face after fully recovering from their moment of shock. 

 “I’ll be sure to distract Joel then to give you a proper running head start then Envy.” Dolly offered as she enjoyed her sundae with Dorian. “Whatever, at least my blood isn’t going to be the flavor of marzipan from the sugar intake you’re having.” Envy smirked as they finished the parfait of forlorn and sat back to relax. “I dunno, I think I’ve flown past the marzipan flavoring and straight into the buttercream instead.” Dolly mused a bit, causing Envy to chuckle at the comeback that was given.

 “Envy, you’re one to talk with that beastly sized parfait you demolished in one sitting.” Freddy rolled his eyes a bit at Envy’s little commentary.

 “Shapeshifting burns a lot of calories, you really need to keep up with the details there Face Fur.”  Envy retorted with a snort before just relaxing, not even taking the horrors of Joel seriously.

 Sitting smugly and content, Envy felt like they had won. Sure they didn’t get to murder their bastard father and would have to face some supposed lobster-human hybrid, but that didn’t matter to Envy. They got Dolly and Dorian back without having to spend a lot of energy or man power, that was the two only things that mattered to Envy. Around the table, Lust had been comforting a hungry Gluttony while Hughes had returned to his normal skin tone, enjoying some ice cream to cool his body down. Freddy, smug about throwing Envy under the tracks, was giving concern looks from Dolly, still very much worried about the potential fallout that’ll likely come after the parfait. It was just a silly little matter in Envy’s eyes, a human couldn’t possibly be a threat to a mighty homunculus like Envy, so why even worry? Though Envy wouldn’t admit it, at that moment, they wondered if this was what it was like having a family to call their own. Though, Freddy was basically the annoying family pet in the whole hierarchy in Envy’s mind for this family dynamic. The good feeling didn’t last though as the odd yet painful feeling returned when they looked at Hughes who had joined Lust in comforting Gluttony. If having a group to call their family was supposed to feel good, then why did it hurt so badly when Hughes was there? 

=======================================================================

 It had been a week since the survivors of Tir Na Nog had settled living in a cave after arriving in Xing. To them, the thought of having to pay to live in a house was an absolutely dystopian nightmare in their eyes after being brought up in a free housing society. The soft hums and twirls of the salvaged equipment sang inside of the cave as Tinne clanked his forging hammer against the heated metal. They were orders by Cuilleann, who sat by the campfire with Muin as a bodyguard outside of the cave, displeased with the entire scenario that had befallen her kind. Victoria, Gef, and Ngetal had gone to scavenge for food sources since like the housing, these madmen humans had too expected payment for it as well. Duir and Ruis had been at work maintaining the equipment and monitoring for any signatures from the lost Gort. Cuilleann let out a soft growl of annoyance as there were no signatures of Gort whatsoever and she was growing tired of this waiting game. What sort of queen goes about existing without using magic at all? It angered Cuilleann as she gripped her sword tightly, tempted to heat the metal up to go slash at the waters close by. Muin quietly watched the designated leader with caution, mentally preparing herself to take down Cuilleann if she posed a threat to everyone in the group. 

 “Cuilleann, I’m almost done with the forging the claymore. I don’t understand why that was even necessary in the first place.” Tinne held the in process claymore for Cuilleann to inspect.

 “Any Queen let alone another Dullahan isn’t worth their weight in salt if she can’t fight me in Queen’s combat. I will accept Gort as our Queen if she can best me in combat.” Cuilleann snarled as she twisted her sword in the ground.

“Wait, you think Gort is a Dullahan because of Victoria? Gort’s a Dobhar Chu like Duir and I.” Tinne raised an eyebrow as he checked the sword for the length.

 “Damn it! Is that sword even going to be big enough for Gort to handle then?” Cuilleann looked at the claymore to make sure it’ll be of massive size suitable for a Dobhar Chu.

“This should be the right size, Gort was always on the small side for a Dobhar Chu.” Tinne felt satisfied with the length of the claymore as he went back to the makeshift forge.

 “So I’ll be expecting a six foot tall Dobhar Chu, close to my height then.” Cuilleann felt a bit relieved that the fight will be evenly matched now that the claymore was confirmed to be the correct height for the intended wielder. 

 Tinne shook his head a bit at the response as he went back to work on the claymore. A part of Tinne had hoped that Gort had reached at least the normal short height of six feet rather than the strongly possible fact of Gort being smaller than that. Gort was after all the runt of the entire batch for the Autumn Mist District and was an abnormality for a Dobhar Chu to be so small. Muin lifted her head up as she saw movement in the distance, standing up to get a better view of the returning food scavenging party. Cuilleann let loose a soured face when she noticed that the protein they were to have was just a mere small rabbit. It was completely pitiful to be dining on berries and a small rabbit when Muin took up arms when she noticed a small figure following behind the party. Gef, Victoria, and Ngetal stood still when they saw Muin come charging with the intent of apprehending the threat. It wasn’t much of a fight as Muin, disappointedly lifted up a small human child who was flailing about at suddenly being picked up like that. 

 “Great, we got a larval stage human.” Muin grimaced at the sight of the child who had stopped flailing and started trying to get kicks in before getting held arms length away.

 “Woah, so that’s what a mini human looks like?” Ngetal asked as they looked at the small apprehended human.

 “Muin, we don’t have to hold the human like that, it's rude.” Gef went to take over handling the child from Muin who was more than happy to hand over the little bundle of adolescent rage. 

 “So…Gef you’re better at language, you talk to the little larval human.” Muin decided to leave the handling of the human to Gef, heading back to the campfire, a very alarmed Cuilleann being present at the sudden human intrusion.

 “Fine, but my Xingese is rather rusty.” Gef went to attempt to speak to the child who scrunched his nose up at the really old Xingese being used.

“Do you speak Amestrian? I’m fluent in the Amestrian language.” The child responded, catching everyone off guard with the surprisingly adult vocabulary that came out of his mouth.

 “How delightful, yes, we can speak Amestrian.” Gef switched over to Amestrian, glad that one thing was going to be made easy for him.

 “Gef, I thought it was called English?” Victoria whispered, being caught off guard.

 “Not in this plane of existence it is.” Gef whispered right back.

 “So..are you like the secret band of cannibals that live in the cave?” The child began to ask, eying the cave home situation everyone was living in.

 “No? What gave you the idea about us being cannibals?” Ngetal gave a bit of a perplexed look upon hearing the little accusation. 

 “Cause you have a scary looking lady by the fire.” The child pointed out Cuilleann who was now making her way over to the group.

 “Who is the little meat bag larva you brought into the Liberation Cave of Freedom?” Cuilleann interrogated right away.

 “Lady, that’s a really lame name for a cave.” The child responded, earning an offended gasp by Cuilleann.

 “I’ll have you know that the Liberation Cave of Freedom is a very suitable name compared to your weird human custom of paying to live in a house. We don’t have to pay a dime to exist here and we’re proud of our arrangements.” Cuilleann held her nose up proudly at her supposedly better living situation over the humans.

“If you say so lady, but you do realize that the cave gets flooded during this time of year, right?” The child gives the group of weirdos a look of pity of living in the very easily flooded cave of forlorn.

 “You’re lying, right? All you humans ever do is lie…right?” Cuilleann was taken aback by the revelation that floods were indeed a very real thing and not some boogeyman story told to young aslings into behaving better.

 “Fine by me if you want to live in the cave, but my entire clan has lived here for many centuries and knows what the rain cycle is like here. I can promise you as a fact that the cave is going to flood and it’ll be a spectacularly flooded disaster if you don’t move to higher grounds. If you don’t want to be flooded, I can offer you a place at my home, but you’ll have to serve my family from now on and be part of the Yao Clan.” The child gave off a smile that resembled a smug cat after eating the beloved pet goldfish.

 “Cuilleann, we need the equipment to be undamaged by flood water if we’re to find Gort.” Muin said in a harsh whisper to Cuilleann who was getting hot with anger.

 “You expect me, your acting queen, to lower my standards to serve humans? Are you breathing in the gas fumes?!” Cuilleann shouted in their native language, not thrilled with that prospect.

“Damn it Cuilleann, we are getting offered a proper shelter and better quality food.” Tinne finally put his foot down from within the cave after working at the forge all day.

 “You know what Cuilleann, since you named this stupid cave the Liberation Cave of Freedom, we’re gonna act on that one. Everyone, let’s take a vote!” Ruis threw her arms up after having to listen to Cuilleann’s nonsense for far too long in the week. 

 “I’ll have you know I’ll consider this a mutiny!” Cuilleann protested as the others started to cast their votes.

 “Right, everyone, for leaving the cave to live in a proper house, raise your hands now!” Ruis yelled as she along with the seven others raised their hands to cast their vote.

“Now for Anyone who wants to live in an easily floodable cave, raise your hand!” Ruis smirked as the only hand to be raised was Cuilleann who had a look of displeasure.

 “Alright Cuilleann, the votes are clearly in favor of moving out of the cave. Let’s get the equipment out and ready to move into the new location.” Gef sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

 “Damn it, where is your pride in being a Fae?! We’re going to be serving this meatbag larva rather than the other way around! This is indignity and disgrace!” Cuilleann protested, but the others brushed her off as they started getting set up for the move.

 “That’s enough Cuilleann! We can’t go back to living like we once used to, we’re going to have to adapt and change accordingly to our new situation. Now, are you going to come with us or stubbornly stay at this cave?” Duir pinched between the bridge of his nose as he felt the migraine coming in from the rather stressful week he had living in a cave.

 “Duir, just so you know, I will be considering this an act of mutiny for a long time, but fine, I’ll come along since you’re my mutinous crew and I have a responsibility for all of you now.” Cuilleann grumbled in frustration from everyone betraying her perceived notion of what dignity they had left.

 “Then I take it you’re all going to join the Yao clan?” The child smiled at the small victory he made that very day and the bettering odds for his clan.

 “Yes my precocious little meat bag larva, we are going to join this clan of yours, HOWEVER, this contract agreement will be terminated once we are able to locate our Queen. Then your clan will be on their own, do we have a contract?” Cuilleann held her hand out to shake upon the arrangement, taking some control back from this unprecedented situation.

 “That’s fine by me, it just means my clan has service for the foreseeable future. However, I’ll be requiring everyone to study the current Xingese language, yours was incredibly outdated.” The child shrugged as they got what he had wanted beforehand and felt rather proud of himself. “You certainly have a lot of cheek from someone so young.” Cuilleann remarked as she glowered at the smug child. “Thanks, I have a very expensive education and private tutors, I get to lay my rights to be as cheeky as I want to be.” The young child just simply grinned as he started leading everyone off to his home.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #293

“your head upon a stick would look really sick, but they would call me crazy for the way i spoke to it”

Hey bitch, what's your fucking name? What a start, jc lmao. Brittany. What color are your nails? They're not painted. Last time you got some ass? Well this survey's gonna be a journey. Many years ago. Do your parents like your style/music choices? Yeah, at least most of it. Some music my mom really doesn't like or just hates, while I can't even imagine Dad's reaction to some bands I enjoy. Ever seen your parents make out? tbh would rather slam my ankle on a Razor scooter. What's your dream height and weight? Forget about my height, if I could just be at least 120 again... Do you put your hair up a lot or down? It's too short to put up. Most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither. What do you do when your house loses power? Light a bunch of candles and carry flashlights. What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan of cheek piercings. Were you raised in a religious house? Yes. I grew up going to Sunday school and church, even though I hated both. Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Gah... it was a very, very big source of argumentative fuel between Mom and me all the way up to my late teenage years when she just gave up; now, it's to be expected and is completely "normal." I always wanted to be on the computer once I was introduced to it; she tried to limit my time on it, and it was without fail what she would take away whenever I was grounded. I'd even sneak onto it when I wasn't allowed to if she wasn't home and Dad was in their room. My mom really did try to keep me from being hooked on technology, she really did, it just didn't work, but dear god I wish it did. I just about turn into a caveman without some form of it, and it's pretty pathetic. Dad meanwhile has never really cared much, but he'd make a comment here and there that would make me self-conscious about it. Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, and guess who would be ignored for the rest of their lives if they did. It's so fucking disrespectful and objectifying to me. If someone wants to send a partner something like that by their own volition, that's cool, but asking, that just seems incredibly rude to me and turns the person into an object of lust. Ever been so scared you pissed? Caaan't say I have. Can you watch scary movies at night and not be scared? Yeah, they've never really fazed me. Last reason you got your cell taken away? I actually don't know if that's ever happened, given the aforementioned computer thing. I was never hooked on my phone. Could you handle working on a farm? Nooooo, that is way too much physical exertion. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No. Have you ever had to put an animal to sleep? ugh Do you have a favorite type of firework? Well, visually I really just like the big colorful ones, but I don't endorse the use of fireworks anymore. Some animals literally die from fear, they can be seriously upsetting to veterans with PTSD (you could have one in your neighborhood and never know you indirectly gave them a panic attack), and they're a large source of litter. Where would/did you get your first tattoo? My right wrist. What's your favorite kind of pet? Snakes. Favorite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is obviously the coolest. It's always been my fave. How many pets do you have? Sigh, just two. Our landlord doesn't want us to get anymore pets than what we came in with. What were two of your favorite Disney movies as child? The Lion King and Finding Nemo. They're still my favorite Disney movies. When carving pumpkins, how do you decide what you're going to do? I haven't carved a pumpkin in years... so idk. Do you own any art supplies? Some, yeah. Do you believe you have a higher IQ than most? Definitely not. What is the name of the doctor that delivered you? I have no clue. Mom knows him for sure because she's mentioned him from my childhood, but I don't. Have you ever seen a Lamborghini in person? Hunny, I live in rural North Carolina. You don't see that level of bougie here lmao. Shane Dawson: funny or annoying? I honestly think he's fucking hilarious. I just have such conflicting feelings about him after "the drama," hearing so many people's opinions (particularly from those who know him so well, like his fiance and Ryland's sister), fact checking, audio cutting and mixing, the whole "people change" philosophy... I don't know. When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last? I ain't touchin' strawberry. Gross. If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick? I'd wanna be a shapeshifter/druid. What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers? Yikes, sex toys. Given my age, I'd say if I bought adult diapers, people would assume they weren't for me. I'm awkward enough with all things relating to sex to begin with, so. What’s the biggest animal you’ve ever killed? Yo wtf I never have and never will (intentionally) kill an animal. Well, correction: I've killed bugs before, the biggest probably being some spider or something, but I really try to avoid this now. Could you win the Hunger Games? lol hell to the fuck no, have you seen me??? For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing? ... Maybe? Not saying I wanna find out, though. Have you ever been punched in the face? No, plan on keeping it that way. Is morality universal or relative? I question this myself. Who is your favorite late night talk show host? I don't have one. Where do you put your keys when you get home? They stay in my purse. Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? Neither. The sheer variety of questions relating to coffee and tea in surveys boggles my mind, always feel left out that I can't answer 'em lmao. What’s your phone background picture? My lock screen is this pretty, soft aesthetic screen that has "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough" written in the center. I've really needed it for my mental health lately. My home screen is some meerkats. I know, can you believe neither are currently Mark? Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? Plenty. How do you cope with anxiety? Deep breathing, mindfulness and grounding exercises, confiding in my mom, listening to music (usually my favorite calm, instrumental soundtracks, like from the Silent Hill franchise - particularly the second game! - or Shadow of the Colossus), try to nap, play a game as a distraction, watch my favorite YouTubers (typically something funny)... I'm lucky to have learned a lot. Now, if only I could cope with social anxiety... What was the last takeout food you ate? Oh Jesus, how embarrassing is this timing, seeing as it was one of my unhealthiest fast food orders: Son of the Baconator and Baconator fries from Wendy's. It was so fuckin good tho. Who makes you laugh the most? My friend Girt. What does a successful relationship look like to you? One with great communication and total honesty, and when you are able to build each other up and bring out the best in your partner. It's also imperative for you to feel safe being your authetic safe for me to consider it "successful." What do you like to put on your baked potato? "Salt, pepper, butter, cheese, bacon bits." <<<< That's how we do it, lads. What was the most memorable birthday you’ve had? My 16th, but not for good reasons. Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains? That's easy as hell, mountains. I don't like the beach. Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah. Not gonna like what I see no matter what, but I'd like to make sure I don't look worse whan what's normal. Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? No. What do you like to dip your fries in? It varies between ketchup and honey mustard. What’s your favorite kind of museum? Science. Do you believe in alternate universes? Nah, I don't think so. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. What games do you play on your smart phone? Mostly just Pokemon GO nowadays. I haven't touched Dragons of Atlantis in a long time... Do you know anyone who is colorblind? Jason's older brother is red/green colorblind, I think? Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family? Middle. What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? Ugh, I need to finish decorating my damn room... Got most of the stuff on the walls now, but it's still pretty skeletal in self expression. My motivation is abysmal. Have you ever flown a kite? Oh yeah, I loved to fly a kite with Dad as a little kid when the tobacco field just across the road was barren. Who was the last person you talked about sex/relationships with? My doctor. How many brothers does your father have? I'm almost certain he doesn't have one, just one sister. Do you think you act older or younger than your actual age? It depends on the situation. When it comes to "adulting," I don't have a fuckin clue what I'm doing. I doubt anyone would believe I'm a month shy of 25. In terms of general maturity, I think I act my age, if not older. When was the last time you swam in a pool? It's been years. What are your parents' views on your relationships? Mom is always very supportive so long as they treat me right; she's taken to all my previous partners very well and treated them like family, too. My dad is also supportive as long as I'm treated properly and happy. Is your best friend dating anyone? No. Have you ever babysat before? Twice, but not really willingly. Way too stressful. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? It took a very, very long time, but all pictures with Jason are forever deleted. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? Not a huge crush, no. Ever watched porn? No. You do you, but I don't see the appeal of watching some random people fuck. Ever performed in a talent show? No. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nope. How many celebrity crushes have you had? I'd say Jesse McCartney, Link Neal, and Mark Fischbach are my only BIG celeb crushes I've had. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? I dunno, don't feel like reaching back and counting. Ever been compared to a celebrity? Not visually, but with my adoration of animals. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? Oh, I'm sure. None that are horribly embarrassing though, or else I would have deleted them. Ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen a therapist since the 6th grade. Ever purposely ignored a text? Yep. A Facebook message? Sure have, when I was beyond done arguing with a former friend. A friend request? No, I just decline or accept it. My page is private, so you can't see my activity, and it's not like they get notified if it's declined, Would you say you read into things too much? I am the fucking sovereign of this. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? I love my mom to death, but no. I'd be disappointed. Ever had a credit card denied? I've never had one in the first place. Ever had the lead in a play? No. I do remember though in elementary school, I was real bummed that I wasn't Snow White for one we did for Music class. What about a solo in a concert? Never been in a concert. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? Well. One, she's long past menopause. Two, because of ovarian cancer, she had all those organs removed. So, that would be impossible. Have you ever had a threesome? No; I'm personally strictly monogamous and would feel it to be disloyal, even if my parnter was okay with it. What's the last game you used dice for? Not a clue. Are you interested in surfing at all? Have you ever been? No. What brand of bottled water do you prefer? Essentia. What is your favorite type of bird? Barn owls. What is your favorite chocolate candy? motherfuckin REESE'S Have you ever been called a racial slur? No, considering I'm Caucasian. Why did you last stand in line? I was at the doctor's office, I think? What is your favorite pirate movie? /shrug What is your favorite character from Orange Is the New Black? I've never watched it. What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Watching the ending to Paranormal Entity was VERY uncomfortable. It was a decently scary movie, but the ending was seriously intense. When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? I don't recall. Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? I don't know. What are you interested in that most people aren’t? The sheer degree of my love for meerkats would definitely be missed by probably most people. What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I dunno. Anything I could think of, the most current products probably already have and I'm just uninformed of them. Like, I use a Tracfone lmao. What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Their plastic usage and disposal. I'm certainly no saint when it comes to plastic either, but I try to do all I can. What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? Hm, ARE there any? Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? This depends on what you consider "better" and "worse." Environmentally, I honestly don't think mankind can maintain itself for that many more generations at the rate we're currently at, so that's probably just gonna keep getting worse. On the other hand, advances in medicine and things like that will certainly continue to improve quality of life in that sense. Human rights are getting better and better. I do fear that we're becoming too comfortable with laziness and convenience, but I hope that's a decline we don't continue to venture down. What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? I had a college classmate named Apple. Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? Oh, come on now. It's not a competition. What game have you spent the most hours playing? So. When you type /played in World of Warcraft, it will show you your total playtime, and mine is YIKES. Like, around a year's worth of time of pure playing since 2014, I think. What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? I don't recall. What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? When I did WiiFit religiously and lost around 40 pounds in HS. I was in the best shape of my life. What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? Oh, there's certainly something. Probably some Unus Annus clip. That channel was a fucking blessing and a curse all the same. If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? Oh boy, I'd have to think, but probably somewhere in Rome or Greece. What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? I'm unsure. Probably jumping in the pool as a kid. My sisters and I would nag Dad to put the pool up on like the very first day of spring, so of course it was cold, but as a kid, I didn't mind that. What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? Hm. What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? Ha ha yiiiikes, struggle foods... I don't know, but I've had some. What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Herping, though I change my mind on-and-off about it. I'm not very into the idea of disturbing wildlife just because they're cool and you wanna check them out. I'd totally go exploring with a camera, though, and not actually pick anything up. If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? Hm... I actually think something like an art museum for the mentally ill would be pretty interesting and educational? Even something that could build empathy. Maybe mix some psychology in there to understand conditions.

[lady-divine-writes]

Concerning the End of the World ... Again ...

Summary: When Crowley shows up for his picnic with Aziraphale in serpent form and refuses to change into human, Aziraphale fears the worst. (1837 words)

Warnings: Some mild angst and anxiety, but mostly fluff :D

(AO3)

“Oh, there you are! I was wondering when you were planning to show,” Aziraphale says, greeting the long black serpent slithering onto his picnic blanket like it’s an old friend.

Namely, because it is.

His oldest and dearest friend.

And, as of recently, his husband.

“Where have you been? I was getting worried.” Aziraphale side-eyes the serpent, waiting for it to stealthily change into human form. But it doesn’t, winding carefully through the jars of jam and honey, the plates of bread and cheese he’d set out. “Uh … is there a reason you’ve chosen not to transform?” He waits for the snake to give him a sign of acknowledgement. When it doesn’t, Aziraphale chalks it up to his husband’s temperamental nature (he is a demon, after all), and continues the conversation alone. “Well, if you don’t, you’re going to miss out! I’ve gotten a few pears from a local vendor, apples, some fresh strawberries ... I took the liberty of sampling a few, and they’re all scrumptious!”

The serpent pauses momentarily, tilting its head as if struggling with a decision. Whatever the options, it chooses to tuck itself beneath Aziraphale’s knee. From beneath the shelter of the angel’s leg, it pokes its head out, tongue flicking to taste the air. A sensation of dread creeps into Aziraphale’s chest, latches on with hooks, and stays there.

“Wh-what … what’s going on, Crowley? What’s the matter?” He looks about, stretching his own mental feelers, searching for anything not quite right in the area. Of course, if someone was going to detect something not quite right, it would be Crowley, his serpent form the best way to keep tabs on it.

Months ago, they’d both been able to convince their ‘powers that be’ to leave them alone, but how long would that last? Aziraphale naively hoped forever, but Crowley is a cynic. If his assumptions are correct, their brief time of peace was a stop-gap - a calm before a storm of epic proportions.

Greater than Satan himself clawing out of the ground? Apparently.

“H-have you heard anything from … you know …?” Aziraphale subtly points down, but the serpent, eyes locked on a point in the distance, neither confirms nor denies. Aziraphale watches, breath held, overly wary of its cautious behavior. He finds himself suddenly dubious of everyone – the ice cream seller, an older married couple, a little girl riding her trike, a corgi rummaging through the bushes for a ball. It may seem ridiculous, but if the events of the Notpocalypse have taught him anything, it’s that their enemies could be hiding anywhere, could be anyone. “If you have, you’re right to remain hidden. Best to stay under the radar, as they say.”

Aziraphale is uncertain which would be less conspicuous – a distinguished man dressed as stylishly as he sharing an intimate picnic lunch with a man who looks like a rock star, or this right big snake?

Either way, it doesn’t matter to him. As long as they’re together.

Truth be told, Aziraphale is quite fond of Crowley’s serpent form.

Maybe he could try his hand at shapeshifting next time. But what would he become? A dove? Mmm, no. Aziraphale loved doves, but that seemed a bit too on the nose. A cat? A sleek, dignified, yet fluffy Persian? Or a Siamese – all cream coat and stunning blue eyes? Ooo, a Russian blue!

But he’s not sure Crowley fancies cats. Would he want one following him about, or perched on his shoulder, shedding fur onto his clothes?

Probably not.

A dog? Yes, Crowley might prefer a dog. A big, strong, strapping dog - something along the lines of a hellhound, Aziraphale assumes, but he can’t picture himself that way. Not as a menacing beast with glowing red eyes and sharp teeth. But he’s sure he can get Crowley to compromise. Maybe he could be a feisty little Scottish terrier in a smart tartan coat, as long as he also agrees to wear something more Crowley-esque – like a spiky, leather collar. That would surely suit the both of them.

It was actually rather exciting now that he’d given it proper thought.

“I haven’t heard anything either,” Aziraphale affirms, though whether Crowley said he had or not, he doesn’t know. Aziraphale can’t speak to Crowley in his snake form. He can’t speak to snakes at all. Or any animal. Though he did feel a spiritual connection to an owl once back in the 16th century. Rupert, he called it. Regardless, he believes that what he and Crowley have is deeper – a connection that allows him to infer what his other half is thinking, even when those thoughts are wrapped inside the labyrinthine mind of a serpent.

“Honeymoon’s over, I guess, hmm?” Aziraphale says with a forlorn sigh, gazing at the world around him – the world he loves – with bittersweet affection. “I know you’ve had suspicions about a battle to come, I just … I didn’t think it would happen so soon. I thought we’d have more time.” He runs a hand gingerly down the neck of the snake, chuckling to himself. “Listen to me. More time. We’ve known one another for six thousand years! If the end is coming, I guess I should be grateful for the time we’ve had.” The snake rests its head on his thigh and seems to sigh as well – not in defeat, but more like sympathy. Knowing Crowley, he already has plans – escape to the stars, other planets, alternate dimensions. Crowley will know a way out of this. He’ll know what to do. And they’ll be fine, provided things work according to plan. But what about the world? Aziraphale wants to spend forever with Crowley, but something has never sat quite right with him about abandoning this world to do it. “We’ve been walking the middle ground for so long, Crowley. And I will admit, even if I didn’t show it, I always feared one day it would end. I don’t want that day to be now. Not now. Not yet.” He bends as best he can in an awkward position to lean close to the serpent, and the serpent rises to meet him. Aziraphale cups it under what he assumes is its ‘chin’ and rubs it’s snout with his nose. It’s scaly and cold, nothing like the warmth of his husband’s skin, but it’s comforting nonetheless. “But whatever happens, we’re in this together. You and I, till the day we …” The rest gathers at the back of the angel’s throat, huddled in a lump, refusing to come out “… well, you know. But I want you to know, I’m not leaving you without a fight. Not ever. Because … well, because I love you, Crowley. I do. I should have said it a million times – the very moment I knew. But I’m saying it now, every day, as a matter of fact. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love …”

“Aziraphale? What on Earth are you doing?”

Aziraphale stops talking. His eyes go wide. He stares questioningly at the snake in front of him. If he didn’t know better, he would swear it shrugs.

“Crowley?” He sits up, hand still cupping the serpent’s chin, and sees his husband – human form Crowley – standing before him. His jaw drops, the apples of his cheeks glowing a jasper red, brighter than twin stoplights, especially since the rest of his color has drained clear away. “Wha---?” Aziraphale looks at the black snake sitting beside him on the blanket, the one he’s been talking to for the past half hour, then back up at Crowley, who’s taken on a rather defensive stance – arms crossed, hip cocked, glaring behind his dark glasses at his angel’s offending hand. Aziraphale pulls his hand away and swallows hard.

“Th-this isn’t what it looks like.”

***

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,  That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;

“Ah, Shakespeare …” Aziraphale hugs the leather-bound book to his chest, gazing down the length of the sofa he’s on to the serpent lying by his socked feet, coiled against the cold. “In thousands of years, I’ve never had the pleasure of reading works by anyone who could do poetry such justice. Don’t you agree?”

The serpent raises its head, gives a little nod, then rests it on the angel’s ankle, exhaling in contentment.

“Hmm, I do agree. I do agree. So where were we? Ah …”

“Are you reading him sonnets?” Crowley snaps when he walks in and catches his husband curled up on the couch beside the creature he has affectionately begun calling his son.

“He listens,” Aziraphale replies, going back to the book and turning the page, “unlike some people.”

“You forget, I was there the first go round.” Crowley grabs a glass and a full bottle of wine from the desk nearby. “Wasn’t too impressed then, either. Why are you letting him stay here anyway?”

“He followed me home, Crowley! I can’t just put him out! That would be cruel! Besides, I don’t understand why you’re so upset! It’s not like I …” Aziraphale cuts himself short and looks up from his book. “Wait a minute …” A small smile dances at the corners of his mouth, not easily noticed by one unaccustomed to being teased by an angel. But Crowley’s seen it a thousand times “… you’re not still upset about …?”

“Yes! Yes, I am!” Crowley miracles the cork from the wine and drinks straight from the bottle, bypassing the glass clutched in his other hand. “I find it offensive that you can’t tell a common black snake from your own husband!”

“I’m sorry, my dear, but at first glance, you two do look strikingly similar.”

“Oi! Oi!” Crowley points at his angel, stuck for a comeback strong enough to express his displeasure.

“Also, it’s a large, black snake, Crowley! Those aren’t all that common in these parts! How was I supposed to know it wasn’t you? Do you know the odds? Really …”

“That doesn’t excuse the fact that you were getting all lovey-dovey with …!”

“… something that I thought was you!” Aziraphale closes his eyes in frustration and shakes his head. “But don’t worry,” he says, waving away his husband’s ire with a flick of his hand. “I promise not to fall into the same trouble I got into with the last snake that followed me home.”

“Is that so?” Crowley grumps, searching under the sofa and around the stacks of books for the offending bugger. “You have a whole harem of snakes hanging around here, do you?”

“Nope. Just the one.”

“Ah. So tell me, Aziraphale - what happened to him, eh?”

The angel and the serpent, thick as thieves at this point, look at a put-off Crowley, wearing matching smug smirks. “I married him.”

*** Notes: This was a sort of a culmination of different ideas I got from fanart on Tumblr. There's a consensus (I think) that when Crowley shows up in his snake form, Aziraphale automatically knows it's him. So I thought ... what if it doesn't work that way? XD

[staletay]

30 Day Blog Challenge

So, I honestly forgot about this so I should catch up on that thingy.

Hi, my name is Taylor. I am 18 years old. I am an Aquarius, which means I am pretty creative, and I love to share what I do! With that being said I paint, draw, cosplay, face paint, and I write poetry.

Just some basic things about me… my favorite color is yellow, I like all kinds of movies, and anime. I enjoy reading, and all kinds of music. I am also in a relationship with my lovely boyfriend Andrew.

I am super bad at About Me’s so here are some random questions I found online to help give you an idea of who I am.

 How do I drink my tea?

I drink my tea warm, it’s hard for me to drink it cold because it hurts my teeth.

Favorite Dessert?

Strawberry Shortcake, Strawberry Milkshakes, Mango Milkshakes, Avocado Smoothies, Strawberries dipped in Chocolate, and Soft Serve Vanilla Ice Cream.

   Favorite Season and why?

Fall, because it is inbetween Summer and Winter so it isn’t too hot or too cold.

   What cheers me up?

As cheesy as it sounds, my boyfriend. He cheers me up like no other, as well as the stuffed Panda he gave me.

   Dogs or Cats?

Both

   What is my dream holiday?

My dream holiday… or my favorite holiday? I guess my favorite holiday is Christmas. It brings out the kindness in everyone

    How many kids do I want?

Three.

   Favorite Weather?

Sunny, but not too hot.

   What would my last meal be?

Sushi, or Greek Salad… Both of which are amazing.

   If I could spend 24 hours anywhere, any year, where would I choose?

I would 24 hours 10 years in the future, just to see how different my life is going to be .

   If I was a ghost, who or where would I haunt?

Anyone and everyone just for the hell of it.

   What is my family ancestry?

I am honestly not sure, because my family history is super confusing because some of my family was adopted and others in my family married their sibling’s cousin in-laws. It is super confusing.

   What scares me?

Being alone and having no one.

   What am I most grateful for?

I am grateful that I am still alive and that I can keep a positive mindset most of the time.

   What is my dream job?

I want to be a social worker.

   Do I believe in aliens?

Yes, there is no way that we are the only living beings in the Universe.

   Favorite sport?

Swimming and Rock Climbing.

   How do I relax after a long day?

After a long day I either hang out with Andrew and watch a movie, or I change into my pajamas and turn on a show while I lay in bed and fall asleep.

   If I could meet one historical figure who would I choose and why?

I am not sure, history isn’t my best subject.

   If I had to be a teacher, what subject would I teach?

Math! I love math, especially Algebra.

   Describe my perfect day.

Spending it while I am living life to the fullest.

   Describe myself in a sentence.

I like to think I am pretty unique, but I am also sassy and can be pretty petty too.

   Who makes me laugh the most?

Andrew, no doubt.

   What superpower would I choose?

I would choose Shapeshifting

   Favorite animal?

Sea Turtles

   Biggest Accomplishment?

Getting my Associate’s before I even graduate highschool.

   My hobbies are…

Writing, Reading, watching TV, knitting, drawing, surfing the internet, and drinking coffee.

   I like…

Coffee, tea, ramen, animals, eco-friendly things, books, anime, horror movies, lo-fi music, jazz, musicals, manga, strawberries, mango, salad, sushi, subway, and Chinese food.

   I dislike…

Drama, Feminazis, equality, Action movies, rudeness, people who walk incredibly slow, and too many things to name.

 I hope you got to learn a bit about me and if you made it this far, thanks for listening to my TED Talk… Hope to hear from you at some point soon.

[dazzlingfantasiesblogs]

Sharp Side of The Blade P4

Dean x Reader

Warnings/Triggers: 18+ Only. If under 18 Kindly un-follow me .Pain.

Notes: Enjoy!

Tags: @moodygrip @trippinjenni @brokenhearted-littlegirl @monkeymcpoopoo @greenarrowhead @liloldlou @kittkattramp

Pics and Gifs are not mine!

Getting back to the bunker, Dean parked baby in the garage, Sam right behind him with your car. Dean opened the back door to see you still asleep. He gently grabbed your arms, sliding you out carefully. Walking you to his bedroom, he started to strip you of your filthy clothes. “Dean, I think mom should do that…” Sam spoke calmly. Mary walking in seeing Y/N laying unconscious on the bed. “Oh my gosh..” She shoved Dean out of the way looking over your broken frame. “Get me the first aid kit, saline solution and the morphine packs.” Her voice demanding. “NOW!” Mary yelled at the boys. They sprinted out of the room as she unbuttoned the flannel that she guessed was Deans on how it loose it was. You opened your eyes weakly. You smelt a familiar scent. “Mary…?” it smelled of her strawberry shampoo.  “Y/N..” She choked on sob happy to finally have you back in the bunker. To have you home. At first she was not a fan of you. For obvious reasons. Intell you yelled at the boys to let her go hunting by herself and get use to this time frame. She seen you over and over again take care of the boys in all ways. Cooking, cleaning wounds or protecting them. “I am going to get you better hun.. promise..” “Buck…bucket..” Mary looked to you confused. “Here!” Dean reached over to grab his empty trash can. You bent over the bed and vomited. “What the hell…?” Mary watched as you emptied your stomach. It was clearly just bile. Dean walked to the restroom grabbing you a washcloth. He handed to his mother as she wiped your mouth. “Sorry…” you whispered tiredly. Every bone in your body felt shattered. Breathing let alone talking was proving to be a hard task. “The shapeshifter kept injecting her with some kind of sleeping medication.. It was a lot.. she still tried to fight them and us off…” Sam spoke looking as your eyes fluttered closed once again. He hated seeing you so weak, so broken.

Mary asked the boys to leave as she stripped you of your clothes. Running you a warm bath she waited it to fill up. “Dean..” she hollered out. “Help me move her to the bath tub.” Dean looked over your body. So many scars, cuts and bruises. Your rib cage had the most impact. He shivered with sadness at this. Gently laying your body in the warms water, he moved your hair from your face. “Thanks. I am going to help wash her up.” Mary spoke grabbing a clean washcloth.

Mary cleaned you up and ended up carrying you back to the bed herself. She noted at how light you where and started to find a vein in your arm. Sliding the needle in, she used medical tape to secure it. She started the saline drip and morphine to help with the pain. Wrapping your ribs with medical gauze, she secured it with tape. “Dean or Sam!” soon Sam walked in seeing you in the bed asleep. “Did you guys get her stuff? She needs something to wear to keep her warm. The saline solution is going to make her very cold.” Sam nodded going out to the hallway to grab your stuff. She set it on the desk going through it. Sam slid through the duffle bag. He pulled out a comfortable sweatshirt for you. It was once his. He gave it to you since you said you always dreamed of going to Stanford. He helped lift your body as carefully as he could. His mother sliding on the sweat shirt and sweat pants. Dean walked in moments later seeing you where Sams old Sanford sweatshirt. Dean would lie if he said he wasn’t jealous. You two always being so close. “Sam..” you whispered. Sam set you down gently, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Yes?” He said softly. “I missed you.. all of you…” you mumbled still half asleep. “I missed….. the bunker… missed… Castiel…. Missed mom….she is so…. Pretty…” you mumbled falling back asleep. Mary chuckled softly. “She is pretty drugged up.” Sam nodded smiling to his mom. Castiel walked next to Dean looking in. “How is Y/N?” He asked worried about your condition. “She just said she missed you.” Dean spoke quietly. Castiel walked past Dean to your side. He slid his hand over yours. “I missed you too.” Castiel spoke melancholy seeing you like this. As he touched your hand he seen a flash of you in Hell fighting off demons. “What the..” Sam looked at Cas as his eyes glowed blue. Cas pulled his hand away. “I… I seen…” Cas put his hand back on yours.  It happened again. He seen you taking out a werewolf pack. He seen you throwing daggers at vampire, then cutting his head off. He then seen you asleep at night, crying. Castiel took a deep breath looking at you. “What is it Cas?” Mary spoke first. “No.. nothing.” Cas walked back out past Dean.

Dean followed Castiel grabbing his arm. “You eyes did the angel thing.. what the hell happened?” Cas groaned. “Get a glass of whisky first.”

Sam and Dean sat with Castiel at the table. “When she said she was in hell, she was fighting off demons. Not just one or two.. lets try ten or more. She was hunting so much, she killed a lot of things. She was trying to numb herself. It was obvious it didn’t work when I seen her crying at night. Dean.. I usually support your decisions. After all Team Freewill 2.0, But… Y/N.. You messed up. You need to make this right or she is going to get her self killed.” Cas looked Dean in the eyes. His tone was slightly threatening. “I never.. want to see that again..” Dean sank into his chair. He had not clue what Cas really saw. “Can you show me..?” Dean asked looking at the trench coat wearing angel. Cas walked over to him, putting his pointer and middle finger against Deans temple. Images flashed before Deans eyes. Showing a glimpse of your past year. Everything from you fighting and hunting to laying alone at night. He hissed getting a glimpse of a one night stand that you had as well.

It was evening and Dean took a nap on the couch since he drove all night to get you here. He tossed and turned remembering the images Cas showed him. Sam looked at his brother, fighting with himself in his sleep. He sighed and walked to go check on you. He seen his mom asleep on the chair next to you. “Mom, go rest. I’ll keep an eye on her.” Mary nodded to her youngest son. She stood up kissing his forehead walking to her room.

Sam grabbed your hand and held it gently. It was slightly comical how small your hand was in his. “Cas said you went through a lot in the last year… why didn’t you call us? Or at the very least me? I thought you knew you could trust me with anything…?” Sam mumbled sadly. “I was worried..” you breathed out tiredly. Sam looked at you as your eyes opened. “I was… worried you… would get hurt…… I didn’t want… to keep dragging you guys down…..” “Never…” Sam stood up looking at you. Your eyes still mostly closed. He watched as you breathed in and out tiredly. Normal functions proving to be difficult. He looked to see your saline and morphine gone. Grabbing another pouch he hooked the new one to the IV pole. Hearing a light knock at the door he seen Dean looking in. “Where is mom?” “Sleeping. I told her I would look after Y/N so she could sleep a bit.” Dean nodded seeing your eyes open. He walked to your side of the bed, his face held shame and regret. He leaned down and hugged you gently not to disturb anything. “I am so… sorry y/n..” Dean whispered in your ear. Sam watched his brother try to make things right. “I still love you.. I always will. No matter what..” He pressed a kiss to your temple. “I am going to go for a run and get some food. Y/N do you want anything special?” “Ice…..Ice cream.. Mash…potatoes…” Sam grinned knowing why you asked for those things. Your jaw was way too sore to eat anything chewy. “Ok baby girl.. you got it.”

“Can… Can I sit in the living room?” your words oozed displeasure of your situation. “Sure Y/N..” Sam grabbed your body and set you in the wheel chair Dean had dug out of storage that was Bobbys when he lost function of his legs. “It…It still smells of Bobby…” you said weakly. A smile coated your bruised face. Sam grabbed the soft blanket off the bed and wrapped it around you. Wheeling you and your IV pole he brought you to the study that Dean and Cas turned into a living room. He carefully lifted you up and put you on the Lazy Boy recliner chair, setting it up. Wrapping the blanket around you once again he handed you the remote. “Wanna….. wanna finish watching…. Futurama…? If you haven’t already? I could use… some Bender in my life..” Sam smiled nodding. He grabbed the remote putting on Hulu. He sat on the side of the couch closest to you as you started to watch the show. He refused to watch the discontinued comedy without you.

Sam hurd the bunker door close. Dean came in seeing you resting on the Lazy boy. He set out the food and put your ice cream in the fridge. Getting you a spoon he handed you the mash potatoes. “I got them from your favorite place in Lebanon.” He smiled to you. Chucking lightly you weakly took a scoop of the fluffy mash potatoes and started to eat them. “Mmm..” you smiled. “Tastes good.” Dean nodded. “I got you a few things of them..” Dean sat next to Sam as all three of you ate watching Futurama.

The next day you woke up and felt a little better. Still very sore and in a lot of pain but you could move. Looking at the clock it was 5AM. Slowly getting up, you used the side of the wall to make it to the kitchen. Grabbing the ice-cream you struggled to open the lid. “Here..” You looked to see Castiel behind you. He opened it for you. Walking to the drawer he grabbed you a black plastic spoon from some fast food restaurant. “Thanks Cas..” you slowly ate the cold ice cream. Dean remembered how much you loved mint ice cream and boy did he get you the good stuff. “Cas… how are you?” you looked to the handsome angelic man. “I am…. Ok. Why didn’t you call me when you where in danger? Or pray to me?” you smirked a bit as you slurped the ice cream. “Cas.. the boys need you all the time. I wouldn’t want to waste your time on small things..” “Fighting demons in hell Y/N is not something small! Crowley helped you survive..” he spoke with a slight distaste in his mouth. “Yeah he did..” you laughed a bit. “The king of hell has a bit of a soft spot when it comes to sticking it to Dean.” Cas chuckled a bit nodding. Lightening up his mood a bit. “Look who is up. Let me make you some scrambled eggs hun..” Mary walked in, still in her pajamas. “I won’t say no to your famous cheesy eggs.” “Good.” Mary nodded as she grabbed the eggs from the fridge and started to cook.

After eating and Mary helping you change into some flannel and sweatpants, she helped you sit on the chair in the living room again. Handing you your laptop she found in your duffel you began to look at news articles. “Eager to leave?” Dean spoke still half asleep, wiping the sleep from his hazel eyes. “Dean.. I cant stay..” “Yes you can! We can give this another go.. Cas showed me what you went through… I.. I can’t… I won’t let you do it again..” Dean sat next to you. “I fucked up… I really fucked up..” He slid his fingers through his hair. “I will try everyday for the rest of my life to make this up to you..” “Dean..” you put your hand up. “No need.. I am too tired to think of the past. I plan on to keep truckin forward.” “Alone?” he asked upset. “I am not sure.. Sam and Cas don’t want me to go. Your mother doesn’t want me to either she said.. but being here.. with you.. knowing what we had… I know I didn’t do everything right either Dean..but.. you acted like I was trash.. that is how I felt..” you kept going threw news articles as you talked. Dean kneeled on the side of the chair, getting annoyed as your attention was not 100% on him. He grabbed your laptop causing you to glare at him. “Give it back.” “No.” “Give it back Dean…” “No!” He was testing the waters. “So help me Chuck, once I get my fucking katana I am cutting your fucking balls off!” you growled weakly. “There she is..” Dean smiled seeing the anger show. “You need to be resting though.” You sighed nodding to him. You knew you were in no predicament to kick the eldest Winchesters ass. “I hope if I die one day, I fucking haunt your ass..” you mumbled. “Me too sweetheart. Me too.” He laughed a bit.