#after some of the uhhh. choices made. in s3

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

TED LASSO S4 ANNOUNCED BTW

SO I'VE HEARD.

[speremint]

Good Omens S2 Thoughts

OBVIOUSLY spoilers for GO S2 below, so if you've not seen, and don't wanna be spoiled, don't read!

The tl;dr of this long post is that I loved S2, it was a lot of fun, and I love that it focused more on Az and Crowley, but I also think it was a little out of pocket and a little messy in writing.

Anyway I fuckin.. am still processing all of what I watched, and am currently rewatching with a friend, too, but here's my jumbled thoughts on S2 and especially the final episode because I'm having many emotions and I need to get my thoughts out somewhere.

Listen. I would like to clarify that I loved S2 and I loved S1, and I think S2 was VERY smart to parse down on supporting characters and keep it stuck to Crowley and Aziraphale for the most part.

I'm assuming that S2 was made with S3 in mind though, esp after this post from Neil Gaiman, bc lord I will cry if there's no S3.

The focus on the story of Job I am being super optimistic in hoping that maybe it's Gaiman punching us in the throat with S2 before offering us a nicer S3... regardless though, I loved the season despite my minor criticisms.

I... do not have anything against Beelzebub/Gabriel, but holy shit was that out of left field for the ending... I just feel that, despite Gabriel having memory loss (it doesn't seem to be COMPLETE since it was kinda touch and go during scenes), they should've sprinkled in some sort of foreshadowing the his relationship or fondness of Beelzebub.

Have him at least not try to decimate that fuckin fly with books, or take an interest in books on forbidden romance, or rebellion against authority, or maybe just flat out have him be interested in Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, or Nina and Maggie's. Just SOMETHING to set it up a little bit...

EDIT:: while rewatching, I suppose they hinged most of their foreshadowing in Beelzebub's passiveness and interest in Gabriel, but it's a little hard to have a comparison given how little they were in S1

It was only after I skimmed the GO tag that I saw people were pissed about Aziraphale's choice in E6 and I'm kinda just like ??? It's not OOC though... He's always been loyal to Heaven, and the times when he's been questioning, the biggest issue, is that Crowley was an enabler. He kept Aziraphale from REALLY facing the consequences of these decisions because he's acted as a safety net in some of the situations they're put in.

I love the added scenes of the past with Crowley and Aziraphale, they're fuckin great and I like that it continues to expand upon their relationship and "temptations", but I do think it was kinda reiterating stuff we knew from S1... even if it was good fan service, for lack of a better word. I just kinda wish they had sprinkled in more reinforcements of Aziraphale's fealty to heaven. Or, perhaps during the scene when Azira is worried he's going to become a demon, he could take that time to ask Crowley on his feelings on being a demon, and perhaps if he regrets it, just to also set up for the finale desire of Aziraphale in turning Crowley back into an angel.

Regardless though, S3, assuming there is one, will be a big wake up call to Aziraphale when he's left on his own and also under a tighter leash by heaven, especially since Crowley is gone. Also, expanding on Crowley being a high rank when he was an angel made my fuckin night, I still stick to the headcanon that he was the Archangel Raphael, don't @ me

I do think that... some of the stuff that happened in S3 did feel a little like a response to fans as well, since I know Gaiman is on tumblr and Ik the fandom has been really vitriolic over the fact that Az and Crowley didn't kiss or anything in S1... tbh I didn't think it was that big of a deal cause love is shown in many different ways, and I admit I do like that they kissed in S2, but it did also feel uhhh kinda spontaneous.

Not a bad thing, just wasn't expecting it. I did replay the scene bc I'm an angsty bitch. But yeah, I'm like ehhh.

Also Nina and Maggie randomly coming at the end to like.. sit Crowley down and be like "erm youre stupid and in love" felt very weird in a way I can't quite describe, but also felt kinda undeserved. Esp cause Crowley was like "eh I guess". I think the more subtle off handed chat he had with Nina about Aziraphale being his partner was a more elegant way of setting that up, and having him reflect on that instead would've been better. But also tbf he and Azira were being bitches and indeed messing with Maggie and Nina.

I don't like the term of describing content as "fanfic"y because a lot of fanfiction is super well written, but I think S2 was very... fan service-y... rather.

Which tbh I don't mind that much, esp given Gaiman really didn't want an S2 to respect Pratchett's passing as his cowriter. So... meh. I did genuinely dislike the ball scene at the end though. Just... it was really weird, and I'm not sure what they were trying to say with it, other than Aziraphale is fucking demented... and tbh he should've known better since the fucker's been on earth for ages, idk. After talkin with a friend, it just was a really weird scene, and if anything was OOC for him, I think it was that bc his removal of free will, speech, and even actions, was fucking insane.

Also I don't think John Hamm is attractive, so I tbh was just confused for a lot of his scenes that had interactions or alluded to him...

I liked S2, I really did. It was campy, it was a lil sloppy, but it was fun, and it gave a lot more Crowley and Aziraphale being a bitchy little married couple before their fuckin messy ass divorce at the end.

ANYWAY... I really can't wait to see what happens, and I am PRAYING that there'll be an S3. Until then, I will happily sit in my puddle of tears

[pynkhues]

Why does no one ever hold rio accountable for shooting dean? Like everyone hates Beth but nobody ever talks about rio almost killing Dean the father of her kids. Doing the same thing that everyone hated Beth for. Taking away rio form Marcus. Like rio almost took away Dean from his kids. I think it’s very hypocritical.

I think that there are quite a few things to unpack in that question, anon, and some of it I think is genuinely based on the way the story has played out, and the arcs of certain characters and plots, and how the chips ultimately fell with some of the themes and messaging. I also think personally though that some of it boils down to how some people within the audience feel about Rio, and some selective reading on his character and his dynamic with Beth overall.

So let’s explore that!

Prelude to a Bullet Wound

At the foundation of your ask is a pretty specific question I think about how the story depicts consequences, who it holds to account, and who is deserving or undeserving of those consequences overall. Even more specifically – although please correct me if I’m wrong! – is a question about how those consequences are dealt in the Dean x Beth x Rio dynamic.

And that’s actually a really tricky question, because I think a lot of the time we like to compare Beth and Dean’s relationship with Beth and Rio’s with the expectation that that comparison can ultimately be presented as a sort of check-list of does and does-not, which actually does the complexity of both relationships a disservice.

From history to dynamic to context to personalities to attraction, it’s all so fundamentally different when you’re talking about these two relationships, that when you start to talk about the betrayals within both of them (of which there are many in each), they’re actually pretty incomparable.

So this brings me to my first point.

Consequences, Crime and Punishment

I think one of the big misreads of this series from audiences is that Dean hasn’t been punished for what he’s done to Beth over the course of the show.

Because he actually has! Dean has been shot by Rio, like you said. He was briefly kicked out of the house, he was in a car accident, he was ousted from his own company and then he lost that company altogether, he was mugged and humiliated after trying to order a hitman, he watched his wife slip further and further away from him, had to start from the bottom in a new business, was sexually harassed by his boss then lost opportunities, and is now essentially being used as a patsy in a new criminal enterprise.

The thing is, Beth has never really been the one to punish him. She’s certainly made choices and done things that have humiliated him, but none of it was really an act to deliberately hurt him, more she made choices to be selfish in their relationship in a way she never had been (i.e. taking over Boland Motors, sleeping with Rio), but I’ll come back to that in a moment.

The fact that the story has punished Dean but Beth hasn’t is a really important distinction to make, and I think it’s crucial in unpacking both Beth and Dean, and Beth and Rio’s dynamic, as well as understanding some of the audiences hostility towards Dean’s storyline and why the audience doesn’t hold Rio accountable for shooting Dean in the first place.

It’s further underpinned, I think, by the fact that the show has rewarded Dean narratively with Beth’s forgiveness three times over (the first time being at the end of season 1 before the cancer lie was revealed, the second being the moment before Amber revealed Dean had cheated on her more than once in 2.05, and the third was with Beth’s seeming acceptance of Dean kissing Gayle [although I do think that would’ve come back up had we gotten all of s3]), and then placated him with her pity, fatigue, and the lies she’s told to keep him onside and out of her way.

It is exhausting. Dean is exhausting. The Boland marriage limping on season after season is exhausting. It’s also, I think, painfully realistic for a couple like Dean and Beth, who married at a formative age, and who’s foundation was built on Beth’s subservience, her desperate need for security and stability, and her willingness to dim her own light to brighten his.

A quick personal aside:

When my parents were in the dying days of their 30+ years relationship, their marriage counsellor told them that a relationship’s dynamic is really set within the first year of that relationship. You can change it after that, but it requires a lot of work and a deliberate effort to change that dynamic on many, many levels, and for many couples, it is too much work. It certainly was for my parents.

If you think about Beth and Dean in that context, it means that Beth’s energy with Dean is still somewhat stuck within a shell of being a neglected, private teenage girl trying to look after her sister and Dean being the son of a successful businessman, entitled with the knowledge he’d inherit that successful business one day.  

They are not those people anymore, and they both know it, but their relationship dynamic does play out that way. Dean will never see her as more than his to take care of, and Beth will forever fight the instinct to see Dean as the provider she never had growing up – something the show has addressed explicitly in many ways.

And the thing is, that’s not Beth and Rio’s relationship at all.

The foundations that they have built this thing between them on are both shakier and stronger, built on Beth’s need to survive in the moment and thrive in the future, and Rio seeing not the neglected teenage girl that Dean saw, but a fierce woman prepared to drag him for having the audacity to try and kill her in her own home.

Beth’s relationship with Dean is, in many ways, an essential component of Beth and Rio’s dynamic, simply because Beth won’t let Rio ever treat her the way Dean has and does. Beth holds Rio accountable in a way she doesn’t Dean (although very interestingly to me, she has at points looked to him to provide for her in the same way she’s looked at Dean), and it means she punishes Rio in a way she doesn’t punish Dean. She does this in no small part because Rio holds her accountable and punishes her in ways Dean doesn’t as well, simply because he expects so much more from her.

This is probably best encapsulated in 1.06, where Rio ups her drop (ergo, her degree of responsibility in the crime world) while Dean assumes she’s a victim, but it’s touched on routinely across the seasons.

Beth and Rio ultimately respect each other. Even when they’re deliberately undermining each other (usually Beth, haha) or deliberately condescending and patronising each other (usually Rio, haha), the basis of their relationship has been built on Beth showing promise, and Rio taking a chance, and grown into a complicated dynamic of control and autonomy, desire and fulfilment, want and approval, possession and abandonment, all playing out as some twisting, sexually charged game which, as I’ve said before, they both simultaneously want to win, and don’t want to play at all.

All of this means that where Beth and Dean are within a dynamic of placation and diminishment, Beth and Rio are constantly going toe-to-toe with each other either side of some line they’ve imagined up. It means they do hold each other accountable, that they ensure the other feels the consequences of their actions, that they never release their hold on the other (even if sometimes it looks like they do).

As a result though too, it does mean that that line can be crossed, and when it is, it’s almost always in a big, big way.

Uhhh, Sophie, this is a lot of meditating on Beth and Dean and Beth and Rio’s relationship for a question that was about why no one cares about Rio shooting Dean, but hates Beth for shooting Rio

Right! It is! But I also think it’s important in understanding why both acts had such different responses from audiences, and that namely boils down to the fact that I think most people saw, consciously or subconsciously, the act of Rio shooting Dean as a consequence of Dean’s behaviour, not of Beth’s, and therefore a punishment for Dean’s behaviour in the narrative overall, not a punishment of Beth.

Dean getting shot was a story-level punishment of Dean that felt earned.

It was Rio handling what Beth couldn’t, and it is satisfying to watch, particularly in the context of later seasons, because it does feel like a marked act of narrative accountability.

It’s just unfortunate that it resulted in so much of the fandom ignoring the fact that it was an incredibly harsh punishment to Beth, something that we’ve been dealing with ever since because it clearly made Beth feel like she couldn’t leave him during his treatment, and by the end of that treatment she had, once again, softened.

On the other hand, Rio getting shot by Beth was both a story-level and a character-level punishment that was ultimately unearned on either of those levels.

It’s not that it didn’t make sense in terms of the escalating push-pull dynamic that is so central to Beth and Rio’s relationship and chemistry, but that there wasn’t enough build-up for it – and Rio hadn’t done enough to deserve it – which in turn made the punishment not fit the crime (which is to say nothing of the racist optics of it). It was a damning act that, quite simply, didn’t work in the context of season 2 overall, and as opposed to criticising the writing choice, some fans chose to turn that into a hatred of Beth’s character.

A brief aside

I do always find it interesting that many of these same fans refuse to confront the fact that Beth and the girls have had relentless punishment at the hands of others – particularly Rio – since this show started, but that feels like a whole other post.

Smoke and mirrors

These two acts are interesting to look at in the context of these respective dynamics, but they’re actually not parallel events. In that sense, I actually find the act of Beth insinuating herself into Rhea and Marcus’ life a much more comparable act to Rio shooting Dean than Beth shooting Rio was.

They were different types of violence – a psychological one over a physical one – sure, but had the same underpinning themes of home invasion, involving each other’s families in the fucked-up dynamic between them, and revealing a degree of Beth and Rio’s intimacy to the other’s (ex)partner (Rio through touching Beth in front of Dean, Beth through the pregnancy lie meaning Rhea knew Beth and Rio had slept together). It also puts them both as instigators on similar playing fields. They were, after all, actions that both Beth and Rio sought out doing.

It makes for a really interesting parallel that I wish we all talked about more!

Beth shooting Rio on the other hand was a manifestation of a set-up and a betrayal, a kidnapping gone wrong, an effort to strongarm Beth into killing an FBI agent, and yeah. Not my favourite plot choice on the show, haha, so I absolutely understand why it isn’t others’ too.

A final note

Look, all story analysis aside – at the end of the day, a portion of the fandom woobifies Rio and loathes Dean too, which no doubt plays a large part in some people’s response to these two acts. You only need to look at the volume of Rio x Reader or Rio x OC fics on here and ao3 to see that there’s a big chunk of the fandom out there who projects other fantasies onto his character, which is, of course, entirely fine! It’s just a shame some of them choose to let that influence the way they view canon and publicly treat other characters on the show too.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

I know that sound

Remember when the issue of Runaan and Rayla vs a dragon was super briefly brought up and immediately abandoned with zero context in a TDP interview? Me either, but that totally happened. (thanks to @ladyandherbooks​ for a great conversation on the topic!)

Is it going to be in the future or has it already happened? I think it’s already happened because of this comment Rayla makes in S2E7 when Pyrrah roars in the distance.

My favorite angsty headcanon as to exactly when Rayla and Runaan faced off with a dragon is that it was when a raging, mourning Zubeia came looking for Runaan--and for Rayla--after her egg vanished and her mate was killed.

TDP has a beautiful habit of adding backstory behind dramatic events that changes the perspective of those events. We started watching this show knowing that the humans slayed Thunder. Then we learned it was in vengeance for Sarai’s death. Then we learned that she died trying to save her people from a famine. Those kinds of layers.

So I’m wondering if this moonfam vs dragon is just such an event, which will change our perspective on Rayla and Runaan’s relationship, and on why she ended up on his mission in the first place.

I don’t know whether a Storm archdragon has enough magical power to see through the Silvergrove’s enchantments, but I want the answer to be no. Because then, see, Zubeia’s got to fly around roaring and raging and shouting above the village and freaking out all the Moonshadow elves. Like, “holy crap the Dragon Queen has lost her mind, uhhh guys what to we do??” Because see, they don’t know yet. They don’t know about Harrow and Viren and Avizandum and the egg. This moment, this exchange, this is how they learn what happened.

So the elves stare skyward as Zubeia roars and zaps her way over the forest, maybe even crying Runaan’s name. Or worse, Rayla’s. There’s no way he’d let Rayla approach an enraged dragon. But he’s the leader of the assassins. This is his village, and Rayla is the daughter of his heart. Defending literally everyone who’s currently in danger is exactly Runaan’s jam. So he leaves the village and draws Zubeia’s attention a ways away, where she can’t hurt anyone, hoping to let her say her piece in um, peace.

I don’t think it went well, for several reasons. And the first of those reasons is that Rayla sneaked out after him.

The first things Zubeia would want Runaan to know are that his friends were cowards and that her egg and mate are dead. If Rayla overheard the bit about her parents, I can see her throwing caution to the wind and darting right out to say Zubeia’s totally wrong. Runaan would be intensely concerned for her safety, but he’s got to keep a hold on the situation despite his own shock and horror. A mother who’s just lost her baby could do anything she wanted, especially if she’s got teeth that are six feet long and extremely pointy. He’s just lost his two best friends, but he can’t do anything that puts Rayla’s life in more danger than it’s already in.

And maybe it is in danger. Zubeia blames all of her Dragonguard for fleeing. But Moonshadows don’t run. Maybe she already hunted down the others, and here she is, unable to find Lain and Tiadrin anywhere, desperate for revenge, and turning to their daughter. Zubeia did lose a child. How fitting, she might decide, that her traitorous guards lose theirs in return.

Runaan’s definitely not having that, though. He’d say or do just about anything to protect Rayla. And conveniently, it’s his actual job to hunt down horrible people. Maybe he offered his services to Zubeia to keep her from killing Rayla. Tried his best to direct the distraught dragon from wild revenge to a balanced justice. Maybe Runaan agreed to take Ezran’s life so he wouldn’t have to lose Rayla’s.

Rayla would be sickened, angry, horrified, and maybe just a little lost in all these horrible details, but once she heard Runaan talking about an assassination mission, she’d pick up immediately that she could find redemption by going with him. Not just in Zubeia’s eyes, but in everyone else’s. And it would placate the Dragon Queen to see Rayla acting furious and intent on fixing her parents’ mistake.

Maybe Runaan never intended for Rayla to grow up to be an assassin at all, despite her admiration for him and his honorable position in the Silvergrove. But in such a moment, with Rayla glaring up at him and Zubeia staring down at him, he felt the strings of fate pull so tightly that he had no choice but to say yes. His job is to lead and train assassins. If anyone can get a determined young Moonshadow elf ready for an assassination mission in a short period of time, it’s Runaan.

Is this why the mission took so long to start after the event that triggered it? Avizandum died at Winter’s Turn, which is like New Year’s, but Runaan’s mission set out in May. He and Rayla might’ve spent those intervening months training like crazy. But eventually, Runaan had to make the call--Zubeia’s been waiting on him, and he’s got to decide at some point that Rayla’s ready enough. 

Runaan may have negotiated with Zubeia to take Rayla with him, but only when he deemed her ready. Zubeia might not have cared much whether Rayla lived or died on the mission. But better to give Rayla a fighting chance, and a chance to redeem her family’s honor, than to refuse and risk Zubeia lashing out at her right there and then.

It’s an impossible situation, but Runaan seems to have a knack for getting into those and making hard calls. He absolutely won’t let Rayla die today, but his other options are to kill an innocent prince and to endanger his daughter while doing it. And he goes with that. He says he’ll do it, and then, because of his honor, he actually plans to do exactly that. 

Harrow would be much easier to agree to take. Harrow is the one who actually killed Avizandum. But why Ezran? That’s a demand made out of rage and grief. If Rayla’s life hadn’t been under threat at the time of Zubeia’s and Runaan’s negotiation, would Runaan have agreed to take Ezran’s life?

Maybe he would. It is a balanced solution, in a very dark and terrible way. But for a guy with his own child, it feels like a really, really dark move to agree to. Maybe he didn’t make it willingly.

If Runaan felt pressured into taking Rayla on his mission to spare her life, that adds new dimension to his theme of protecting her. He basically sacrificed himself and his whole team to save her when the mission went pear-shaped. What a ride it would be if her life was actually in danger much earlier than that.

I know this doesn’t have much connection with canon. Zubeia seemed oddly thrilled with all the humans and elves around her when she woke up. But maybe we’re missing something in her character arc as well. She got Runaan to accept the mission to take Harrow and Ezran. And then she had to wait. And wait. And her rage died out, leaving her with only her sorrow. Her broken heart was all she had left, and it began to kill her. Ibis said that she’d slipped into a coma ten days earlier, which was around the time that S3 started. That was most likely after she received Runaan’s shadowhawk, telling her that Harrow was dead, but not Ezran.

Did she think Runaan had gone back on his word? Did she tell anyone at all what his message said? That he’d failed to do what he promised?

Rrgh, was Runaan worried when he shot that shadowhawk off that Zubeia might still try to exact revenge on Rayla because he hadn’t taken Ezran? Maybe he didn’t want Rayla taking the egg back to Xadia because she’d be running directly to the dragon that threatened her, and Runaan was trying to minimize the risk to her life, again, by taking it himself.

Why did he demand the egg like he did? Is he really just that dramatic? Or was he trying to keep Rayla and Zubeia apart because Rayla had to hear what a raging dragon sounds like once, and he never wanted her to hear that sound again?

The irony will be enormous if Runaan was trying to protect Rayla from a threat that nearly died from grief between the time he left on his mission and the time Rayla reached Xadia without him. Because if his mission had gone off without a hitch, he and Rayla would’ve been home and dry before Zubeia fell into her coma. Rayla might be safe in that scenario, but Zym would be lost, and Ezran would be dead.

why are there never any clear answers i love this show

[gasp-iwrotesomething]

Uhhh I read all your Cal writings and I am in love!! May I request something for Cal? Maybe with S3 and S40??

Aw, thanks so much, anon; I’m super glad that you really like them! I’d love to do your request as well (even if writing ‘Daddy’ makes me wither from shyness), so thank you for requesting and I hope you can add this to your list of Cal fics that you love!

And, p.s., this is a bit long so beware lol

S3: “I mean, I’ve never been called ‘Daddy’ before, but I can’t say I don’t like it when you call me that…”

S40: “You’re gonna make me–ah, fuck!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC could hardly breathe in the air surrounding her, the crisp and refreshing nature overlapped by the abrupt burst of smoke and fire in the atmosphere. A gun smokes with the succession of one bullet, then two, then three, until the resonating bang is all MC’s ears ring to. She claps her hands over her eardrums as Cal fires a few more. She stays like that, a startled figure on the sidelines, until the lack of blasting gunfire finally reaches her. Cal was finished, the hand wielding the gun now at his side, the barrel pointed harmlessly at the floor. That made some--though not all--of MC’s trepidation recede. His gaze is rampant on her and that familiar sense of “he’s watching to see my reaction to his grand achievement” falls over her. Once his palpable smirk dawns, MC’s eyes swing away to the target a long distance away, bullet holes and tears made by an influx of bullet holes scarring the dummy ahead. Cal’s malevolent blue eyes glitter with satisfaction as he turns to MC and places the gun in her hands. Despite the cold weight of the pistol and the sickening feel of it in her palm, Cal’s touch is a soft remedy that consoles her and she struggles to stay focused when he squeezes her fingers. “Now you try,” he keens, tender and warm, too affectionate to be intentional, “aim for the next one over and see if you can do better than me.”

She was still new to the idea of using an actual gun on actual living things. Lessons had been rickety following the consistent demon attacks and the looming presence of Alejandro over their shoulders, but Cal had kept persisting. He kept coaxing MC into the shooting range for more practice despite her evident hesitation. “Just think of this as some sort of cheesy life lesson, okay? Like... be prepared for whatever happens, or, get ready to use a gun if a demon approaches you. Y’know, those sorts of lessons.” Cal had said when MC first voiced her misgivings. A weird coil of warmth twirls around in the base of ribs and she prays that it wasn’t the feeling that comes after a pleasant memory was reminisced. She took a breath and raised the weapon, ignoring the lingering warmth in her chest. Whatever it was, it wasn’t welcome. Cal’s gaze was a pressure on her shoulders that she tried to ignore as she hooked her finger around the trigger.

BANG!

A bullet flies through the air with a staggering clap and dives into the dummy’s left hip, just shy of passing into the wall behind it. Her eyes were squeezed shut so her temporary victory wasn’t something she knew until MC heard Cal applaud slowly. “Not too bad,” he says, signature smirk blatant on his lips, “for a rookie. Unfortunately, that shot wouldn’t kick a demon down so you’re about as good as dead.” The amusement and snark that he emits is poisoning as MC rolls her eyes, scowling at the ground. Did he have to be a smart-ass about it? She heaves a groan and aims the gun once again, grumbling under her breath, “yes sir.”

BANG!

The second shot sails past the dummy and just misses its shoulder. By just an inch or two. She sags in defeat. Why did she have to suck so bad in front of Cal? The scowl on her face deepens as she senses Cal’s smug smirk on her back, almost like he could pick apart her thoughts and understand them. “Don’t say a word,” MC snarls as she tries her best to avoid his eyes and scrutiny she was under. A moment passes, filled with deafening and suspenseful silence...

“...after this session, I’ll make sure to have your funeral costs covered. Just in case.”

She shoves her elbow in his ribs as he snickers. “And you’d be okay with me dying?!” MC gives him a scolding, almost condescending glower as he mindlessly massages his ribs--right where she elbowed him. “Last time I checked, you’re the one who insists on teaching me!” His expression dilates a few degrees and a quiet hint of worry and disdain flood his eyes. Hell, even a waft of offense breezes through, as if her just making that accusation was insulting. Like the notion that he didn’t care for her was something to make Cal defensive. MC had been thinking about those pure blue eyes for so long that she had a picture in her mind for whatever emotion filled them next. For this, MC imagined an ocean plagued with pollution...why was her heart suddenly beating so fast? “No, I wouldn’t be,” his soft voice and serious tone sway her a little and MC has to reinforce her stubbornness before she falters, “that’s why I’m teaching you, MC. To prevent that from happening.” The trick shooter holds her searching gaze for all of another second before tearing his eyes away. He fixates on the pretty-much-uninjured dummy and gestures with his chin, arms crossed over his chest. “You’re getting there,” he pats her shoulder and it feels like he was being condescending to her, “but I do believe in your ability to be better--no matter how scarce that ability might be.”

MC scoffs, “what are you, my daddy or something? Seriously, I don’t need your cute little words of encouragement to do better.” Her words rush out in a mindless quip and she moves on autopilot: lifting her arm, pointing the gun accordingly, checking to assure she’s gripping the damn thing right... What MC’s autopilot fails to detect is the furiously-blushing Cal to her side, his gaze to the side and his hand ruffling through his hair awkwardly. He was stunned at her word choice in more ways than one. Her “daddy”? His “cute little words of encouragement”? The silence is a time bomb ticking in his head, awkward and loud in duet with the blooding roaring in his ears. Did she not understand what she just said? MC finally, after a few more painstaking moments on Cal’s end, swivels her head to see what he’s gone so oddly quiet about and discovers the color in his face, on the tips of his ears... She blinks, completely baffled. “What’s up with you?” He doesn’t respond immediately, his mouth parting like there were words ready to be said but just couldn’t leave. It only furthered her confusion. “Spit it out already, Cal.” She demands, a stern frown following her words.

“...do you ever even hear half the things you say?” Cal asks, a genuine lilt to his tone, his eyes perpetually soft and rigid with bashfulness. He looked shy, which was a look she saw rarely embellishing his features. Cal seemed to always have a mask in place and a blush of steel, one that only danced out whenever something truly undeniable happen. She doesn’t respond right away, her frown creasing her cheeks and wrinkling her nose. What was he talking about? Her mind rewinds their entire conversation and then, in unison with her falling frown, her face burns with the words she said to him waltzing in circles in her mind. “I didn’t--it wasn’t-! I was-!” She feels her tongue tangle in her mouth as she tries to defend herself, the tint in her face deepening. “...you’re the worst.” MC relents. The shy barrier of his expression doesn’t wane or dilute seemingly at all. In fact, it seems to strengthen as he opens his mouth again.

“I mean, I’ve never been called ‘Daddy’ before, but I can’t say I don’t like it when you call me that...”

MC considers self-destructing as her face flames even more like she was already on a timer, just ticking down the seconds. She shoves his shoulder like her life depended on it--if she was about to combust, then her life did depend on it after all. “Shut up!” Her expression squeezes into a pout as she whines this, her heart pounding so fast that she could hear it in her ears, “you are so dirty that it’s not even funny!” MC’s abrupt reaction must coral his snark out again because the shy smile on his face flips into a smirk and he snickers, lightly driving his elbow into her arm. The carefree attitude he chauffeurs does little to tranquilize her shame and embarrassment. “Hey! Don’t blame me for taking things you say so literally,” Cal says this as he safely removes the pistol from MC’s possession--just for good measure, “there’s always so much blabber coming from that mouth anyway.” He punctuates his point by poking his finger into her cheek, to which she swats away.

“Can we just focus on the lesson?!”

“Of course, who ever said I wasn’t? You’re the one talking about ‘daddies’ over here, MC.” Cal barely pronounces her name before he gets a fist pushed into his bicep, followed by his own light laughter.

“Cal! You’re just as guilty as I am!”

“I doubt that. You are far more distracting than I could ever be.”

“Idiot,” MC roughly bumps into his side, face now scrunched in a scowl.

“Jerk,” Cal reciprocates, grinning.

Tiny little quips follow into their session as MC attempts to lampoon the dummy with bullets in areas Cal would consider a ‘take-out zone’. She attempts again and again, her results varying in rapid degrees, before she slings her last shot. The bullet zips through into the crook of the dummy’s supposed elbow which is in the outskirts of a take-out zone, according to Cal. The circus performer is a statue to her side, quiet when she’s aiming and annoying when she misses. This final shot draws a dull snort out of him and he gives her a slow clap, mocking her. She both thanks and curses the pistol for no longer having any ammunition.  

“Wow, somehow you did even worse. You would be definitely be a goner if we were actually in danger.” He critiques, vapid and sly, before the pistol is suddenly wrenched from her hand and she’s yanked backwards--right into Cal’s chest. She squeals out of surprise, yelping when she notices how tight his arms were around her waist and how his breath billowed against her nape. His laughter, alluring and soothing, sounds just behind her ear and she tries hard to not shiver at the whisper of it. The warmth of his body and the corded expanse of his arms and chest surround her, blanketing her in a Cal-fitted sheet. MC finds her heart pounding as he play fights with her and pretends to overthrow her, drag her away like a demon would. “Get off! I get it!” MC shrieks as he heaves her off the ground, casually holding her high enough to avoid enough the tips of her shoes from touching the ground. “Get what? I’m a demon, not your instructor. The only thing you’ll get from me is an ass-kicking!”

MC smirks as she swings a faulty kick to his side. “Isn’t that supposed to be my line, demon?” She teases easily, her hair swinging into her face as she spins out of his grip. Cal’s grin is challenging and ripe with glee as he lunges for her again. “No, only the person who can actually kick asses can have that line, and I do believe that person-” the gunslinger wraps her in his arms and secures her to his chest, close and tight enough to render her squirming as useless “-is me.” Her eyes snap up to meet his and once they do, it’s like a puzzle piece clicking into place, the pigments of their eyes losing their humorous glint. Suddenly, Cal’s grin fades from his features and the previous elation of a challenge rots away as well, leaving nothing but an undecipherable expression. A book she couldn’t understand, a language she didn’t speak but she yearned to learn. Their heavy, synchronized breathing and faint flush in their faces only add to this, becoming the tool to etch all of this in his gaze. His blue eyes dart to her lips when she parts them and her heart stomps in her chest. She registers the cradle of his arms and the minor proximity between them, the calming touch of his skin and the brittle vulnerability set in his gaze. Surreal was the feeling thrumming in her bones, daunting and deep. Insides, there was an amusement park alive and kicking, the adrenaline-provoked screams dancing in her stomach when Cal’s face becomes red and the coasters swooning when her mind imagines closing the distance between them.

That thought, however, is stolen as fast as her breath when Cal suddenly whirls MC against the wall, his grin choking the sentiment that had been collecting in his expression. “Stalling me, eh?” His lips move harmoniously and it’s hard not to glance down as he speaks, MC discovers. “I admit, you had me for a second there.” The smug warble of his voice seemed miles apart from the softness that had engulfed his eyes just moments before; it was like MC was talking to a whole different person. She knows she should respond, say something smart back, but her entire body, mind, and spirit were hyper-focused on how she was cornered by Cal’s body. She tried to not blush harder at the faint puff of his breath to her lips. She attempts to calm her raging heart and stave the desire leaking into her bloodstream, fueling the rest of her alike with the same blood that colored her skin and pumped rapidly in her heart.

MC tries... and fails.

The last thing she sees, imprinted in her mind’s eye, was Cal’s figure alight with the glow of fluorescent lights as she kissed his smirking lips.

Then quite literally, her body was alight with Cal’s hands traveling all over her skin, shedding layers upon layers of clothes as he proceeds. She didn’t even know when everything escalated--she just knew the feel of his kiss and the languid discovery of his hands. A nexus of passion strengthened and renewed with each touch, each kiss, each breathless retort or mindless quip... This was what intimacy was with Cal, right? Being so deprived of his touch to fold when he does and to feel that desire flow between each other; a river of lust, a stream of passion. MC drowns herself in that river, letting it wash over her as Cal kisses her again and again, something bubbling between them... When she came to her senses, she was still pressed to the wall, her clothes an abandoned heap on the floor along with Cal’s, whose defined body was pinned to hers.

Everything else was silent, a wasteland of nothingness, except for the thrilled pants of Cal and MC as they hold each other in the dark. Fervent warmth was exchanged at their skin and friction was created with their limbs. An ocean’s worth of desire peers at her, searching and needing and wishing--could he hear her heart racing this fast against him? “You... you understand what I mean when I say ‘distracting’? This--you--are distracting, MC.” Cal’s raspy, low voice husks over the intense jump of his chest. Even in the shadows, she could faintly see the pink infecting his face. MC found it hard to breathe even though Cal’s body wasn’t crushed against her. Her lungs failed her when he mentioned how distracting she was, when she glanced at the brunette curls adhered to his forehead from the sweat gathered on his skin. Had he always been this beautiful? Words congregate and knot in her throat, a ribbon of unspoken feelings and libido all threaded into one, so instead of responding with anything verbal at all, she smashes her mouth to his and kisses him with those unsaid words.

Cal’s mouth was still fervent and silky as it embraced her own, again and again, the furnace of heat between them unyielding. She could feel the gentle swipe of his hands up her torso, the way he presses his palm gingerly to her flesh like she was a treasure worth salvaging, and the sensual pattern of his fingertips smoothing over her. All of it made the furnace in her lower belly seem to explode and catch fire, somehow much hotter than it should’ve been possible. His small groan chases that rush of sparks in MC and their kiss was deepening, the passion intensifying. His teeth rake against her bottom lip but she hardly minds the sting. One of her hands card through the mishap of curls on his head while one of his travels up her thigh sinuously. MC’s heart rate hiccuped when she felt his need for her against her skin and her legs, off of reflex, clutch him closer to her. It was all MC could do but burrow in his strong embrace and relish in the friction of his flesh, the sensation of his fingers touching her, the solitude she felt wedged to the wall. They don’t even part to join their bodies, connecting themselves together in more than just their lips.

They didn’t need to; their two-person orchestra required no conductor.

When they come together, it’s an indescribable feeling made inexpiable with the council of emotions churning in her chest--it feels so good to become one. She delights in the sharp inhale near her ear and the slight grunt that he elicits, the sound resonating inside her. Cal was making it harder and harder to not lose that little scrap of self-control that she was still clinging to. His kiss turns rough, his touch spreads fire all over her skin. They move in brittle harmony, more of it powered by the desperate jerks of their hips. She held onto his broad shoulders and let her noises of ecstasy melt on his tongue, allowing him to swallow the vibration and the dull hum in his throat.

“You’re gonna make me--ah, fuck!”

MC’s thoughts divorced from coherency and soon she was bubbled in this constant rhythm of pleasure to notice anything else. Nothing but Cal and his desire for her, the gentle embrace he soaked her in, the taunting sounds he made for her ears only. All of the heat he gave her and all of the kisses he placed on her parted lips. Seconds blur together and before she feels she can even properly breathe, they were toppling over an edge and they were falling together. When the blissful flog clears in her mind, MC finds herself still against the wall with Cal’s lithe form pressed to her skin. His mouth is against her pulse as he continues to press a chain of kisses up her neck, the soft curls on his head brushing her chin. She was captivated in the soft and nurturing way he touches her, worships her, that it wasn’t easy to just pull away. Neither of them speak and they don’t have to.

She smothered herself in his arms and returned the sincere kiss he plants on her mouth. MC allows him to hold her tight, even for just those few extra moments, wanting to relish in the feeling of having Cal North to herself.

Maybe she should’ve been more respectful of her feelings and the welfare of her heart, but she felt like this was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up.

Like a trip to see the Pyramids of Giza: she just didn’t get to do that very often at all.

Or in this context, Caleb North.

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Thank you again for your request! I’m so sorry for the long delay, I really enjoyed writing this for you though!

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[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

GERT!! how do we feel about season 4?

EXTREMELY ANXIOUS !!!