#after many years of having a lot of lgbt friends and being so secure in my heterosexuality

[astriiformes]

u (asexual) were not always included in the lgbt community 😭 y’all started existing in 2008 after the hard work was all done don’t lie

Usually I wouldn't reply to a message like this -- it was sent in response to a post that included plenty of examples of historical ace and aro involvement in what we now think of as the queer community, and was obviously sent just to be inflammatory and get an upset reply. I'm secure enough in my ace and aro identity -- and have more then enough allo, queer friends who consider me a part of their community -- that mean asks on tumblr aren't about deter me from my activism, both in the aro/ace sphere and the broader queer one.

But this particular anonymous ask just so happens to be one of the most astonishingly self-centered, short-sighted examples of ace hate I've ever gotten, so let's have a little talk about what's going on here.

Anon, it takes a special kind of person to claim the hard work is done and over on Trans Day of Remembrance, when we are mourning at minimum 32 people who were killed in the United States for being transgender in this last year -- and at least 327 people globally; on the heels of 2021 being the single worst year the Human Rights Campaign has recorded for trans murders on the United States, and when just yesterday night, 5 people were murdered and another 25 injured in a shooting at a queer club. When 2022 has seen the highest number of pieces of anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation filed in the United States on record -- many but not all targeted at not just trans people, but trans youth. When states like Texas and Florida are sending social workers after parents who support their children's gender transition and scaring queer and trans teachers out of schools. When there is an increasing movement to ban books featuring queer stories from schools and libraries across the United States -- including ones like Maia Kobabe's Gender Queer, which talks extensively about the author's aromantic and asexual identity as well as their gender journey. When TERF rhetoric dominates the news and political spheres in the United Kingdom, and British trans folks face horrific waits of three, four, five, and more years to access lifesaving care as the number of providers in the country who can offer it to them dwindles. When queer Ukranians are speaking out about the danger the invasion of their homeland by a country with a number of trans- and queerphobic laws in place puts them in (and when queer Russians have been living under those laws for some time now). When queer and trans people all over the world are watching all of this with worry for ourselves and the people we love.

What part of that is easy? What part of the hard work is done? Trans and queerphobic sentiments are on the rise and you seem to think you have some kind of laurels to sit on -- and worse, some kind of moral superiority. Tell me you aren't involved in the fight without telling me you aren't involved in the fight.

I (asexual) happen to have marched in a protest for trans rights in below-freezing weather this week. I had a conversation with the vice-president of my university's queer student organization about how I'd like to get involved in leadership next year. I helped talk a peer down from feeling suicidal when she came into the queer student center crying. I have also been talking a lot lately with my queerplatonic partner about how much happier she is having learned to embrace her ace identity and how much more comfortable she is in an ace relationship. I have been fighting for this community out on the streets while you decided the best use of your time was to hide behind anonymity and try to tear someone fighting for you down.

Because guess what, anon? Even if you want to pretend this fight -- that, yes, ace and aro people have been in all along -- is over, I don't think you deserve to have your right to marry taken away just because you grew complacent any more than I deserve to have a doctor make belittling comments towards me while I hold my queerplatonic partner's hand in the ER just because we're not married. (And yes, the latter actually happened to me this year, in this oh-so-easy world where all the fighting's done and where ace people were apparently never victims in the first place.) You're a bully, but you're human, and my queer advocacy doesn't exclude anyone -- even jerks.

I've been identifying as aromantic and asexual since I was 16 years old. In the last decade, I've received dozens of messages like this, and had hundreds of other horrible judgements slung at me in the reblogs of my posts. I've had people I marched with in Pride parades say insensitive things about my identities the very same day. I've watched other ace and aro friends bear similar trauma at the hands of our own community and We're. Still. Here.

My friends from the university's ace and aro club marched side-by-side with me in the snow, with handwarmers stuffed in our gloves, to protest earlier this week. Another of my aro/ace friends founded a queer affinity group in a major international charity club that has hundreds of members worldwide now, supporting each other and forging life-long friendships. Another ace friend is on a committee at my university fighting for more gender-neutral restrooms on campus. I've helped queer friends move from unsupportive homes and spoken at others' weddings when most of the rest of their family refused to show up. The queer community is my home, and it's an honor and a privilege to fight for it, even if it's a tragedy to still have to. I don't have to prove I belong here.

But you -- who seem to to think that tearing down someone different from you, in a community that's been about being different from the start, is the pinnacle of activism? You might.

[katyldamusic]

Måneskin: No one should feel exluded (interview for onet.pl)

Please forgive me any mistakes. It’s 2 am.

"Our image is a form of expression. We stand behind everyone who gets hurt. People shouldn't judge anyone because they can hurt someone a lot," say the members of the Måneskin. The group recently won the Eurovision Song Contest and will now perform at the Polsat Sopot SuperHit Festival. "We want people to understand our message being "no one should feel excluded," they add.

-Måneskin won the 65th Eurovision Song Contest in Rotterdam with the song "Zitti E Buoni"

-The group's sound is defined by musical eclecticism - from rock through rap, hip hop, reggae to funk and pop. All of this is linked by Damiano's phenomenal voice

-"We can be very proud of ourselves, because we owe our success to hard work" - say young musicians who came to Poland, where they will perform during the Sopot SuperHit Festival

Q: Congratulations on your big success at Eurovision. Were you surprised or the rumors that you are the favorites calmed you down a bit?

Victoria: We were nervous until the last second. Until the end, we did not believe that we could win. We are not a typical band that can take first place in this competition.

Damiano: Ethan's face said everything (laughs).

Ethan: Exactly. No one should have doubts that the win surprised us (laughs).

Q:After the competition, it was huge buzz about a glass that you broke. Has this "scandal" stopped shocking your fans?

Damiano: I hope so! We didn't understand at all why everyone was so surprised that we broke a glass (laughs). In fact, we were well aware that rumors like this always set the biggest fire. It's just part of our popularity.

Q: How did your friends react when you told them you wanted to participate in Eurovision? This is quite an unusual idea for a rock and roll band.

Victoria: We never took the Eurovision Song Contest lightly. We did not even think that our style did not fit there. For us, the most important message was that rock and roll never died. For two years we have been constantly trying to prove to everyone that guitar sounds are timeless

Many people threw obstacles at our feet and told us that we had no chance to be successful. We went to Rotterdam and showed them that we are capable of anything!

Q: So plan to conquer Eurovision was well thought out?

Victoria: Of course! That is why we performed at the San Remo festival. It was the beginning of our evil plan (laughs). Later we went to Eurovision and proved that even at such a mainstream concert rock'and'roll will be the top! I guess we did pretty well.

Q: But you probably did not expect such popularity. There are huge crowd in front of the building where we are talking. On TikTok, your music breaks records of popularity. Are you ready to conquer the world?

Damiano: I don't want to seem very cocky(*tricky to translate, "cocky" or not very modest"), but we've always dreamed about it. Of course, we did not care about fame, but we wanted our music to reach the widest audience possible. We really did everything to get to this place. We can be very proud of ourselves because we owe our success to hard work.

Q: Meetings with fans must be very enjoyable experience.

Damiano: It's really crazy. We love our fans and hope that there will be more of them over time.

Q: Many countries in Europe are very conservative. Your image may still shock many. What would you say to your *?(*tricky again. literall translation - opponents, but i think "people who are against you" fits better)

Damiano: First of all, I would like to emphasize that we do not feel like people who would dictate anything to someone. Image is a form of our expression. Of course, we stand behind everyone who gets hurt. People should not judge anyone because they can do great harm to others. We will not change the world overnight. However, as people whose music reaches so many people, we know that we can change reality a litlle bit.

Victoria: We want people to understand our message is, that no one should feel left out.  Our image has no boundaries - which is why it may still shock some more conservative audiences. Let's be honest - how is a man with painted nails different from a woman?

Q: Måneskin performing at the Pride Parade - a dream for many of your fans. Would you agree to play on one?

Damiano: Of course! It would be a great honor for us! We are aware that a large proportion of our fans are members of the LGBT community and we are very proud of it.

Victoria: It's stupid that some bands still ashamed of Parades. After all, i'ts a great honor.

Q: Let's change a subject for a moment. Today we are in Sopot. The seaside capital of music in Poland. Have you had the chance to lie on the beach?

Victoria: Are you kidding me! We got here about two hours ago. We don't have time for anything. We say this almost every day, that it would be fun to do a little sightseeing in the places we visit during our promotional tour. We are going back to Milan soon, so Poland is the last stop of our adventure.

Q: Well, you are going on another tour in a moment. Tell us what we can expect at your concerts. I understand that the performance at the festival in Sopot will be just an innocent announcement (laughs), and we will see your true face at Open'er Park?

Victoria: Our concerts we are definitely crazier.

Damiano: We missed performing on stage. We haven't been able to perform for a long time due to the coronavirus pandemic. That is why we are really grateful that we can play at such festivals as the one in Sopot. This is another part of the plan we mentioned earlier (laughs).

Q: You won Eurovision. If, however, you took second place, who would you give the "crown" to?

Måneskin: Ukraine!

Damiano: I think Go_A did more or less the same as us. They showed all of Europe that rock music is still crashing the system! They didn't try to please anyone. They were themselves and this won the hearts of many fans.

Q: Vicotria, there are only guys in the band! How do you feel as the only woman surrounded by gentlemen?

Victoria: Great! I can't imagine our band looking any different. We are a wonderful family and we support each other every day.

Damiano: We understand when Victoria has her moods (laughs).

Victoria: Stop it! I feel no different from you. I'm just a member of Måneskin. I don't feel any different!

Ethan: Besides, everyone knows that I am the real woman in the band (laughs).

Q: If you weren't making music, what would you be doing?

Ethan: Music. There is no force in this world that prevents us from making music.

Damiano: Exactly! We are musicians who do not see each other in normal work.

If I couldn't make my own music, I would probably be a producer who would come up with melodies for other artists.

Victoria: Or we would teach to play instruments. People need to understand that music is part of our lives and we cannot imagine that there could be a reality in which we do not create.

Q: You are traveling a lot now. You are in a different city almost every day. What was the craziest thing that happened to you on this tour?

Måneskin: SWEDEN!

Victoria: There were some crazy events during our visit to Sweden. Security services had to close the entire street because so many fans showed up outside our hotel.

Damiano: At one point, the police were called and they had to control the crowd.

Q:Now you are going back to Italy. Does that mean fans can expect even more new music soon?

Damiano: We are currently promoting us the mini-album "Teatro D'ira. Volume 1", but you are right, when we come back we lock ourselves up in the studio and work on new music. However, we don't want to reveal anything because that would spoil the surprise for our fans.

Victoria: We need time. We don't want to feel pressured because then the music will lose its value.

Damiano: Be patient.

[quissum-ego]

A Look At Whip It (2009) Through A Trans Lens

** A preliminary note: throughout this post, I will be referring to Bliss with he/they pronouns, both out of respect for Elliot Page, as well as the fact that it feels right for the character. You’ll see why. Thank you for understanding! (:

I rarely make my own posts on Tumblr, but this feels important enough  to deviate from that streak a little bit, since I think this is something more people should be talking about. Now, as some of you may know, Whip It is a 2009 comedy-drama film directed by Drew Barrymore. The film is an adaptation of the 2007 novel Derby Girl (a.k.a Whip It) by Shauna Cross. Both the film and the novel follow the life of Bliss Cavendar, a Texas teen pursuing their newfound roller derby dream behind the backs of their parents. While I am by no means saying the novel or the film intended for Bliss to be trans, as a trans masc person myself, I cannot help but pick up on the similarities. Let’s dive right in with some quotes from Cross’ novel.

There are a couple instances throughout the text where Bliss expresses a dislike for his given name. 

“ [ ... ] Bliss is not gonna cut it (I’ve been telling Brooke that for years.)”

Bliss’ struggle with his mother-given name and his complete awe at the fact that people (specifically the roller derby girls) so freely adapt an alternative name really hit home with me, personally. His feelings towards his birth name mirror the way myself and many of my trans friends feel, and these feelings were especially strong for me when I was around Bliss’ age. It is apparent that he has wanted a different name to better express himself for years, something that his mother looks down upon. 

On a similar note, there are multiple instances where Bliss wonders who he really is, and how he can find and reclaim his own sense of self. 

1. “I suddenly wonder what else I have in me that’s been stunted by too many years of pageant participation.” 

Bliss would have little-to-no chance to explore how he wants to present himself when around his mother, but the world of roller derby slowly begins to open that door. Leading a double life that his parents don’t know about becomes his ticket to exploring aspects of himself that otherwise might have been pushed down.

2. “In an effort to shake off the pink-suit residue and reclaim my personal identity [...]”

Bliss resorts back to what he feels most comfortable in (graphic t-shirts) in an effort to “reclaim [his] personal identity”. Instead of the traditionally feminine ways that his mother has come to expect of him, Bliss finds comfort in his personal identity that is the exact opposite. 

3. “Who are you [...]” “[...] I’ve been wondering that my entire life.” 

Bliss struggles with his identity, and obviously has for as long as he can remember. 

4. “You don’t even know me!”

“Bliss, you’re only sixteen. You don’t even know who you are.”

“I know I’m not Miss Bluebonnet [...] I know that much.” 

Bliss emotionally retorts to the fact that he may not know who he is with the fact that he knows he is not a pageant girl. The identity he has found through roller derby triumphs over the Miss America cage Brooke has tried so hard to secure. He knows who he is, and she can no longer dictate that for him. 

In the final two passages, Bliss’ parents begin to come around to the idea of him playing roller derby (an identity of his that feels like an ongoing metaphor for being LGBT). 

“But you - you’re Babe Ruthless.” 

“[...] she’s not only giving me my skates, but my freedom.” 

In the end, Bliss’ mother accepts that he has come to be “Babe Ruthless”, and in giving him his skates to compete, she is giving him freedom. Brooke has finally accepted that Bliss may not be the person she believed him to be, but she wants him to be happy regardless. 

“Not that Earl would ever say it, but I’ve always had a feeling he would have loved to have had a football-playing son. I think me playing Roller Derby might be the next best thing.” 

Earl would have loved to have a sports-loving son, and Bliss sees his love for roller derby as the next best thing. He is, in his own way, the son Earl never knew he had. 

The film adaptation of Whip It offers many great moments that carry this theme of roller derby being used as a metaphor for Bliss being trans. 

After dying his hair blue before an important pageant in what feels like an act of defiance against his mother, Bliss is saddened to return home from the hair salon with it all washed out. When Earl notices the family coming home, he exclaims, “Dang it, girl, what has gotten into you?” to which Bliss replies with, “Just defective, I guess.” 

Bliss feels defective in the world of beauty pageants because it is so opposing to who he is, and the life he wants to live. All he’s known thus far has been a complete 180 from himself, rendering him to feel out of place. 

When Bliss first sees the derby league out in Austin, he is instantly enamored. His wish to live as freely as they do and express himself away from his mother is what drives him towards wanting to join the league. 

After the game, Bliss expresses that the league are his new heroes. Maggie encourages him to be his own hero, to go out and live freely. 

The film evolves into Bliss leading a double life. His parents believe he is studying with an SAT prep group, while in reality, he is training and playing with the roller derby league. One life where Bliss has to practice for pageants, study, and be who his mother wants him to be, and a second life where “Babe Ruthless” can follow his heart and be himself. The more Bliss embraces his inner Babe Ruthless, the more confident he becomes, both on the track as well as in school, as he finally begins standing up to bullies. 

A key moment in the film comes when Bliss’ parents discover his roller derby promotional poster, and his secret double life becomes a lot less secret. The dialogue throughout the scene feels heavily trans-coded, particularly as Bliss cries out for his mother to “[...] stop shoving [her] psychotic idea of 50′s womanhood down [Bliss’] throat”. Bliss explains how he knows his parents wouldn’t have accepted the life where he feels he is truly himself, and the confrontation ends with them parting ways, and Bliss temporarily running away. 

After reconciling with his parents and agreeing to participate in the pageant, Bliss initially believes his roller derby dreams to be a thing of the past. On the night of the pageant, however, Bliss’ father warms up to the idea, and seeks out Bliss’ teammates. They all arrive at the venue of the pageant to surprise Bliss. 

When Brooke (naturally) disagrees with Earl’s change of heart, he expresses that he “[...] can not taking losing the chance for (our) kid to be happy.” 

His parents make it to the game, and end up coming around to the fact that this is who Bliss is, and perhaps who he has always been. After the match, Bliss meets up with his mother to talk with her. 

She comes to terms with the fact that she can’t change what Bliss is going to do in life, and he expresses that he needs to know she can accept him. She admits that it will be hard, but ultimately she will try, which is all that Bliss truly hoped for. 

The film closes with Bliss’ mother reading his pageant speech and putting away the custom gown (perhaps accepting that this chapter of their lives has closed), Earl putting up a Babe Ruthless sign on the Cavendar’s front lawn in support of their kid, and Bliss sitting atop the Oink Joint, seemingly at peace with this newfound joy in his life. He has found himself, and found what he truly loves doing, and he now knows that he has people in his life who support him through and through. 

All in all, while I am aware this is just one way to interpret the film, I wanted to share my thoughts because this has made his film truly special to me. If you haven’t already, give the film a watch. It is more than worth your time. I’d love to hear your thoughts, if you picked up on any of the same themes as me, or what you thought if this post ended up encouraging you to watch the film.

Thanks for sticking around and reading to the end. You’re the coolest. (~:  

[ligiawrites]

#EleNão

I never get tired of discussing politics. Online, I post my opinions, share ideas I find interesting, and I always try to be in the loop of what's happening around the globe as much as I can.

Most of the time, this much-needed exercise leaves me teary-eyed and broken-hearted. But THIS time, reading about the manifestations against Bolsonaro all around Brazil, I felt a profound sense of pride in my people.

Those of you who have been following me for some time probably know how much disgust I feel towards the current Brazilian president, Jair Bolsonaro.

(long post about Brazilian Politics after the cut. There's a list of amazing NGOs doing awesome work at the end of the text if you can/want to help the situation of the many groups at risk in Brazil right now. They include LGBTQIA+ groups, Indigenous people, Black communities, feminist movements, and NGOs focused on proper education and food for impoverished children).

In 2018, before the presidential elections, I was walking down Paulista Avenue with one of my closest friends.

Filling one of the widest avenues in Brazil, there was a mob of Bolsonaro supporters holding placards that read "É melhor Jair se acostumando." It's a small word-play with Bolsonaro's name; the idea is "You better start getting used to him". Stationed on the edges of the avenue, police officers stood with guns attached to their waists, crossed arms, and expressions that ranged from pure disinterest to clear enjoyment.

My friend stepped closer to me. He is strong, brilliant, and one of the bravest people I know, and yet he was clearly uncomfortable, so—after I managed to recover from the slight shock of seeing him like that—we linked our arms and avoided the mob in front of us, walking back to the intersection with Consolação Avenue.

Once we were away from the mob and the officers, he looked over his shoulders and sighed.

"If you weren't here, they'd probably have stopped me," he said.

The mob was mostly White. I'm White.

My friend is Black.

"I don't wanna think what will happen if that dude wins the elections," he completed.

His fear was justified. Bolsonaro is a racist, misogynist, homophobic ex-military who preaches in favor of the Military Dictatorship period in Brazil, which killed thousands of Black and Indigenous people while also torturing anyone who spoke up against the military government.

"He won't win," I answered. I was born and raised in São Paulo, one of Brazil's industrial, technological, and cultural hubs; I never thought people would turn a blind eye to how much damage Bolsonaro could make as a president. "He can't win," I added. "Not being who he is."

My friend nodded. We hugged and walked and laughed it off (tried to). And when Bolsonaro won, we both cried.

I guess I was a tad too naïve.

He won. He won, and I never got used to the idea of having such a terrible president. Here are a few things that happened in his government and that are directly connected to him:

(most of the links here are from news articles in Portuguese)

The number of neo-nazism sites in favor of white supremacy increased 400% in Brazil in 2020 compared to the same period in 2018 (before Bolsonaro was elected); this is one of the many consequences of his numerous racist speeches and a small proof of just how racist Brazil is.

The number of military police attacks on low-income communities increased along with the number of COVID deaths.

While, since February 2019, the world already knows that the rights of LGBTQIA+ people are threatened under the current far-right government, the advances in LGBTQIA+ rights n Brazil stopped after Bolsonaro was elected, and instead, there was a movement of retrocession.

The fires in the Amazon Forest further increased by 43% in April 2021 (in 2019, after an increase of 63% in comparison to 2018, I wrote about one of the most terrifying fires in Amazon and how I could see the smoke from it from my home in São Paulo, 3000 km away).

After promising to diminish deforestation in order to receive a large sum of money from the US, the Brazilian Senate is preparing to vote for a new Law Project that tries to make the licensing of land in the Amazon Forest more pliable. That means it'd be disgustingly easier for people to buy and explore the lands that should belong to the Brazilian indigenous people; all they'd need is an auto-declaratory license emitted online without the analysis of any environmental body.

Under the pretext of "helping" the indigenous people, Bolsonaro defends mining and agriculture in indigenous peoples' lands. This is one of the public declarations of repudiation written by the Yanomami people (one of the biggest indigenous communities in Brazil) about Bolsonaro and his visit to their land on May 27th, 2021.

And then we have women's situation, which you can see in the Brazilian annual of Public Security.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. I didn't add the investigations of corruption (including embezzlement of money for COVID-related services), the liberation of guns, the nepotism, the problem with vaccines, the damage of the far-right religious institutions the president supports, and the disrespect and verbal aggression towards women.

... And that's why I felt so proud of my fellow Brazilians yesterday. :3 We're a young people (Brazil is only 521 years old, while England, for example, is 1094, if you think about the creation of the kingdom of England), but we're still doing our best. I might be away from my Land of Drizzle, but I carry my people in my heart, and I cry alongside them, as loud as I can,

♥♥♥ Fora Bolsonaro! ♥♥♥

---

And even though I can see Brazilians waking up and organizing themselves better, there are still people needing our help right now. If you want to help the situation in Brazil, please consider Donating! Here's a small list of NGOs doing a lot of good in Brazil:

+ APIB ("Brazilian Indigenous People Articulation") - to help the indigenous people in Brazil. (They also have a fantastic documentary subtitled in English you can watch here, showing the situation of the indigenous people in Brazil)

+ CUFA ("Unified Central of Favelas") - to help the impoverished communities and Favelas in Brazil. (I use my credit card to donate to this one; if you're outside Brazil, I think this might work for you too). If you want to help the Covid Relief specifically, CUFA has a project called "Mães da Favela" (Favela mothers), which you can donate to directly through this link.

+ Amigos do Bem - help with famine, donate drinkable water, and improve education in northeast Brazil, one of the areas more impacted by droughts.

+ Omolará (site in Portuguese) - amazing social project focusing on helping Black Woman find education and financial independence.

+ To help the LGBT+ community in Brazil, I'm still searching for NGOs and projects that receive international donations. If you're in Brazil or if you can make wire transfers, I suggest checking this list of fantastic projects (in Portuguese).

[impossiblelibrary]

Today's rant brought to you by: Queer Eye Japan, can we all just try to be as kind as they try to be?

After watching the Queer Eye Japan super short season, I wanted to google to see the overall reaction to the show, make sure that my western eyes were correct in seeing the care that was given to the culture. Were cultural taboos, other than being outwardly gay, crossed? So I find this article in the top results and other than the perspective, why tho? Tokyoesque.com had an article with a higher reading level, with surface level appreciation but at least better written.

I can't get over this hate article though. Unfounded, dumb, wrong and incorrect. Do not go forward unless you like that blistering kind of anger from me.

But the reasons just get weaker as the article extends: "Hurts the country it set out to save?" Looking for white savior much? They did not go to save Japan, they gave some free shit to like 4-5 people, think smaller.

Their culture guide wasn't gay enough.

You want to suggest any lgbt insta models or celebrities, use your platform to raises some up?

"There is a growing sexless culture in Japan for married and unmarried people, and it is perilous watching Queer Eye present this without any context behind what is driving this behavior."

Sexiness is what the fab 5 embrace, unfortunately and it was probably discussed behind the scenes of how much talking about sex was allowed or polite and the conversation of not having sex is closer to the tip of the tongue rather than the feeling of sexiness. The West is not the ones blasting that information. It is across multiple Japanese printed newspapers and online stories by now and the "context" is still being discussed and debated amongst Japanese. So I don't think any outsiders should be weighing in or "explaining" this phenomenon. We can repeat what we have been told but guessing at the reasons is not our place. The reasons illustrated by the author of the article seem lacking, a take but not the only one, but who am I to speak on that being in a sexual relationship with someone who pulls from that culture?

Kiko begins to lecture Yoko-san on how she “threw away her womanhood” (referring to a Japanese idiom, onna wo suteru) by going makeup-free and wearing drab, shapeless clothes.

The mistranslation by the subtitles fixed by this author was necessary information. But Kiko didn't lecture her on it, it was brought up by Yoko before any of them arrived, that was her theme, that was what she had decided to focus on. Meanwhile, if you watched Jonathan, he understood there was no time to spend on makeup and skincare so provided her a one instrument, 3 points of color on the skin to feel prettier. That and the entire episode being the 5 treating her like a woman on a date, not trying to hook her up, which is what they did in American eps.

"In teaching a Japanese woman, who already struggles to find time for herself, how to make an English recipe, Antoni is making great TV and nothing more."

So Antoni shouldn't have taught her apple pie because it's too exotic for a Japanese woman. (Can you smell the sexism?)

He didn't make an apple pie, altho Yoko did mention her mother made that for her when she was a kid. He made an apple tartine after going to a Japanese bakery who makes that all the time. Then highlighted the apples came from Fuji in true Japanese media fashion. Honey, American television doesn't usually highlight where the ingredients come from. A Japanese producer told him to do that. So all worries handled within the same ep. She got Japanese ingredients, had the recipe shown to her and then made it for her friends in her own house. Did the author actually watch this show or nah?

"beaten over the head with his western self-help logic. “You have to live for yourself,” he says."

The style of build up the 5 went for was confrontational but in a "I'm fighting for you" way. It's hard to describe, but the best I can say is, a person has multiple voices in their head, from parents, siblings, society, and maybe themselves. By being loud and obnoxious, American staples right there, they are adding one more voice. You deserve this, you are amazing, you are worth it. I know this is against most Japanese cultural modesty, but maybe it shouldn't be.

Sarcasm lies ahead:

Apparently: mispronunciation is microaggressions, not just someone who had a sucky school system. Yea okay, They're laughing at the language not at how stumbling these monolinguals are with visiting another country. Mmhm. Japanese don't say I love you and don't touch and that should stay that way instead of maybe, once in awhile, feeling like they can hug. Yeah, let's just ignore Yoko's break down that she had never hugged her lifelong friend after hugging strangers multiple times. Maid cafes are never sexualized in Japan ever, just don't go down that one street in Akihabara where the men are led off by the hand sheepishly blushing. Gag me. And Japanese men love to cry in front of their wives and would never break down once the wife leaves. I have never seen a Japanese movie showcase that move. Grr.

"I identify as many cultures."

So you're a Japanese man when it's convenient for you to get an article published? Are you nationally Japanese or just ethnically or culturally?

Homeland is an inherently racist word?

"After the Bush administration created the Department of Homeland Security after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, a Republican consultant and speechwriter Peggy Noonan urged, “the name Homeland Security grates on a lot of people, understandably. Homeland isn’t really an American word, it’s not something we used to say or say now.”

Yes, let's use a Washington Post article rather than a etymology professor. Yes, the google search results increased after 2001 Homeland Security was used but the word has been around since the 1660s and I've read multiple turn of the century lit on white people returning to their homeland, i.e. the town off the coast they were born in.

"But" is not disagreeing. I think the repeated offender for the author is the not acknowledging the makeover-ees feelings. But, that is how LGBT have decided to deal with the inner voices that invade from society. They are just that, not our own, they are the influence of society, and we can choose, we have to choose, to be influenced by someone, anyone else.

Karamo can't speak about being black when an Asian is speaking about being Asian, even though the Asian gay man was feeling alone. It's called relating bitches, and I'm done with people saying that is redirecting the conversation, it's extending the conversation. That's how we talk, the spotlight is shared, especially when someone's about to cry and doesn't want to be seen as crying, time to turn the spotlight.

The gay monk wasn't good enough, you should have invited the gay politician.

Yeah, causes I'm sure a politician has all the time in the world for a quick stint and cry. They picked a Japanese monk who travels to NY because they had a guest who travels to the West too. Did you want him to stop traveling back and forth? Did you want a pure, ethnic and cultural Japanese gay man who has no ties to the west to talk to this Western educated young man? Seriously?

This is just not how it works in Japan.

Being in a multi-cultural marriage between two rebels, discussions on facets of culture are plenty in my household. Culture should be respected enough to be considered but not held on a pedestal like we should never adjust or throw some things out. LGBT being quiet and private for instance. "Being seen" was Jonathan's advice, and a good one especially for a Japanese gay man that was called feminine since he was a kid. Some gay men can hide, but as Jonathan said, he couldn't hide what he was, he couldn't hide this. So fuck it. Don't hide. It's actually more dangerous for a feminine man to come off as anxious rather than gay and proud. It makes you more of a target if they think you won't fight back. Proud means, Imma throw hands too, bitch.

This is also from the civil rights playbook going back to Black America: never hold a protest or a fight without the cameras, without being seen. LGBT have found the more seen they are, in media, in the streets, the better off we are. When LGBT Americans were being "private" about our lifestyles, we died, a la 1980s. They won't care if you start dying off if they never saw you to begin with.

And hence why I think the author's real anger is from these 5 being seen dancing flamboyantly in Shibuya, in Harajuku, afforded the privilege of doing this safely because of their tourist status, cameras and very low violence rate in Tokyo, loud and obnoxiously. Honestly, they wouldn't have been invited or nominated if they didn't want that brash American-ness coming into their home, just for a taste, at least.

Here's my real anger, my own jealousy: Japan's queer community currently does not have marriage or adoption rights. US does, so we have progressed further. But we are also not that many years from being tied to cow fences with barbed wire, beaten with baseball bats and left for dead overnight. If things are so bad over there, maybe take a few pages from the civil right playbook we took so much time to perfect and produced by the Black Americans who fought first. But so far, I only hear loss of jobs and marriages, which we still have here too. Stop trying to divide us, we are one community, LGBT around the world and we are here to try to help. Take it or leave it, it's not like we're going to go organize your own Pride parade for you.

Rant over? I guess. Is this important enough to be put in the google results along with his. Hell no, anyone with half a mind can see he's reaching more than half the time. And any argument about: this wasn't covered! There are a shit ton of conversations that are not covered in the 45 min they have. They are not a civil rights show, it's a makeover show, doing their best in that direction anyway. Know what it is.

Next blog post, what research I would guess was happening behind the scenes for each of the 5? I'm pretty sure I saw Jonathan doing Japanese style makeup there...

[carewyncromwell]

Fluff Alphabet: Carewyn/Orion

@weasley-adoptee tagged me, and uh...yeah, while I’ve done this before, I did it before I’d settled on an endgame ship for my girl Carewyn! Now that I have, I can do this for the HMS Carion (AKA Carewyn Cromwell/Orion Amari)! XDD

Tagging @smarti-at-smogwarts, @department-shoe-stud, @cursebreakerfarrier​, @that-ravenpuff-witch​, @words-and-wands​ and anyone else if you’re interested and either haven’t done this already or want to do it for a ship they haven’t done it for! xoxo

A= Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Carewyn thinks Orion is the wisest person she’s ever met. She’s always admired how content he is with his life, even while he chases victory on the Quidditch field. He got dealt a pretty bad hand in life, but he’s always been able to make do with little and reach for the stars without being unhappy on the ground. She also absolutely loves how much he loves his friends and later his daughter, Eos. Orion’s a lover, not a fighter, and Carewyn finds it very attractive. Plus his smile, when he actually ends up smiling fully, makes her heart melt every time!

Orion loves how generous and selfless Carewyn is. Her putting her own safety on the line to help him achieve his dream of Slytherin winning the Quidditch Cup remains one of her most beautiful moments in his eyes, even after so many years. Although her passion can get a little much for him sometimes as well, he nonetheless finds her absolutely stunning when she’s fighting on behalf of somebody else -- the fire in her eyes, to him, are akin to the eyes of a wild stallion, and it makes his heart race.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not)

When Orion and Carewyn reconnect post-War, they actually both have kids already, Orion being the single father of an infant daughter, Eos, and Carewyn being the legal guardian of twelve-year-old Erik Apollo. Carewyn has no interest in bearing any children herself, so both she and Orion are very content raising their own kid as well as helping support their partner’s.

C= Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Orion and Carewyn are both on the “A” side of the LGBT+ community (Orion being gray-A and Carewyn being ace/pan), and Orion himself wasn’t raised with a lot of physical affection, so their cuddling is a bit muted, compared to a lot of other couples. They’ll very often sit side-by-side with their shoulders touching and/or holding each other’s hands, and sometimes Carewyn will rest her legs across Orion’s lap or Orion will rest his head on top of Carewyn’s, but they don’t usually tend to get way up in each other’s personal space for very long. When one of them decides to spend the night at the other’s place, they’ll take turns as the big spoon, with Carewyn sometimes resting her head on and arms around Orion’s chest and Orion other times resting his head over Carewyn’s heart with his arms around her waist.

D= Dates (What are dates with them)

Broomstick flying dates! Carewyn’s out of practice, considering how much of a workaholic she is, but she loves having the chance to fly alongside and with Orion again. Carewyn will also attend Quidditch matches with Orion when he’s not playing, and they enjoy cooking, baking, Wizard Dueling, and taking their kids on outings together.

E= Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

Orion to Carewyn: “You are my Abraxan.”

Carewyn to Orion: “You are my partner.”

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Orion first had the feeling he could fall in love with Carewyn (in other words, he realized that he felt romantic feelings for her) when he saw her Abraxan Winged Horse Patronus (same as his) for the first time at the tail end of his seventh year and her sixth year. He was too afraid to chase those budding feelings at the time, only to realize how strongly he still felt for Carewyn and how much deeper his feelings had gotten when -- after they reconnected -- she immediately resolved to deal with all of the paperwork needed to give Orion sole custody of his daughter Eos. The blazing look in her blue eyes when she stubbornly insisted that she would do whatever she had to in order to make sure that Eos stayed with “the man who had put his life on the line to keep her in his life and safe” was so beautiful that Orion for a moment forgot to breathe, and he felt like such a fool for not chasing her from the very start.

Carewyn realized she was in love with Orion as she spent time with him post-War and saw both how much he’d changed and also how much he’d stayed the same. She saw how he’d only gotten wiser about himself and how he wanted to live his life, as well as how well he got through the more recent struggles he went through and how well fatherhood suited him. Seeing him again reminded Carewyn how much she’d always admired him, and also gave her all the more reason to admire him. It all came to a head one day, when after she’d sung Eos to sleep and brought the usually serene Orion to tears, Carewyn and Orion ended up sitting on her couch for the next half-hour or so together, with Orion holding the sleeping baby over his heart with his eyes closed, softly asking Carewyn if she could sing “just one more song” while they sat together. Seeing his handsome, peaceful face as he sat with her and his daughter was the thing that made Carewyn suddenly realize how precious Orion had become to her, and maybe had been, a lot longer than she realized.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Oho, Carewyn is the ultimate Mama Bear type and Orion is a pacifist to the nth degree, so these two are ridiculously gentle. If Carewyn’s ever having trouble reaching something high up or lifting something heavy, Orion will frequently whisper a quick “would you like some help?” and if Carewyn says yes, he’ll either very gently pick her up or place his hands/arms on top of hers to help her with the object. Carewyn is prone to giving Orion chaste kisses of gratitude and helping him fix his collars or clothes before they head out.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

LOL, when Carewyn first initiated hand-holding between them when they were still at school, Orion was faintly uncomfortable because he’d never really held hands with much of anyone before, but it quickly became something he really enjoys doing with Carewyn. Most commonly one of them will rest a hand on each other’s while it’s resting between them on the couch or in their lap, and then the other person will hold the first’s hand in return. When they’re out and about, Orion loves holding hands with Carewyn at their sides, though Carewyn will sometimes also hold Orion’s arm with one or in both of her hands, at which point Orion often kind of lean into Carewyn. Most commonly Carewyn is the one to initiate most physical intimacy, since Orion’s still rather unaccustomed to it given his background, but it makes it so that when he does initiate, it’s usually very spontaneous and romantic, since it’s often done in the heat of passion.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Carewyn about Orion: ‘So that’s the Slytherin Quidditch Captain? ...How is he balancing on his broom like that??’

Orion about Carewyn: ‘Short and round, a Snidget’s build -- ginger ponytail, like the Weasley boy’s -- tight grip on her broom, slightly tense...a Seeker, perhaps? ...No. No, those are a Chaser’s eyes.’

J= Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Actually, no! Neither of them really feel jealousy much of ever. They’re both rather secure in themselves and in their relationship to not get jealous. In Orion’s case, he’s way too chill to really get aggressive or surly because Carewyn’s spending time with other people, and in Carewyn’s case, she knows Orion and herself well enough to not be that distrustful.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Like with most gestures of physical intimacy, Carewyn initiated the first kiss, right after she learned she and Orion had the same Patronus and Orion finally came clean to her about how long and deeply he’d felt romantic feelings for her and she’d likewise expressed how she felt. Carewyn’s first kiss to Orion’s lips was very chaste -- so chaste, in fact, that almost as soon as she’d pulled away, Orion brought both of his hands up to her face so he could cradle it and hold it in place so he could kiss her himself more deeply. There’s often a build-up for their kisses, starting very short and then either growing deeper, or just turning into a stream of traded chaste kisses back and forth. Carewyn tends to prefer shorter kisses because she likes being able to see Orion’s expressions and deep kisses kind of require having your eyes closed, so over time, both Carewyn and Orion become very fond of kissing each other’s faces, foreheads, noses, neck, hands, and shoulders when they’re intimate so that Carewyn can more properly enjoy Orion’s facial reactions and Orion can be a bit more creative in how he expresses his affection.

L= Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Orion. Though, rather predictably, he said it in a very round-about way:

“...I have...nurtured this bud in my heart...longer than I have ever admitted to anyone -- including myself. But when we collided again, during the War, that bud only served to grow further...and then bloom into a blossom so strong and beautiful that I could never hope to hide it...however ashamed I am that I denied it the sunshine and attention it deserved years ago. I’ve wasted...so much time, trying to stifle it...trying to be happy with what was in front of me, rather than chase what my soul was clearly aching for...all because of my own inner doubts...because of the reluctance I felt, in the face of making a choice between the dream I’d been fighting for for so long...and the chance of a new dream I’d never imagined. I realize I have been a coward, Carewyn Cromwell -- something you have never been, from the moment we first met. I don’t know if someone like that could be your soulmate -- if I could ever live up to the standard that word entails...but most assuredly, you are a special woman, one I will never know the likes of again...and I love you, all the same.”

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

One will always be the morning they spent together in the Commentator’s Box talking after Slytherin won the Quidditch Cup. Another is when Carewyn accompanied Orion to drop Eos off at Platform Nine and Three Quarters for the first time -- Carewyn took Orion out for an outing to the shore afterwards to cheer him up, and they spent the day swimming in the ocean, playing volleyball, and walking around the seaside town together.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Both grew up without a lot of money, so neither are the type to buy extravagant presents, but Orion does like to “surprise” Carewyn now and again, if he sees something he thinks she might like. Most commonly this involves single flowers or small bouquets, which he’ll leave in a spot he knows she alone will find them, such as on her office chair at work or on the windowsill next to her bed at home. Carewyn in return tends to spoil Orion with surprise visits (popping over to watch one of his Quidditch matches without telling him she’s coming and then running to greet him afterward -- the first time she did this, Orion was so stunned and happy that he barreled over to her and, once she hugged him and he’d recovered from that surprise, clung onto her for almost a full thirty minutes afterwards), as well as handwritten love letters. She’ll sometimes send them through Owl Post as usual, but other times she will leave them in his locker or on his pillow for him to find too.

O=  Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Carewyn always thinks of Orion whenever she sees anything black and white, as those are his Quidditch team, the Montrose Magpies’ colors.

Orion always thinks of Carewyn whenever he sees anything light blue, like her eyes -- he particularly likes forget-me-nots, since they remind him of them.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?

Although Orion frequently cites how Carewyn “has more fire than a Fire Crab,” he most commonly compares her to an Abraxan Winged Horse, with his pet name for her being “his Abraxan.” Carewyn dips into the usual “dear” and “love,” but when she’s particularly affectionate, she calls Orion “starlight,” as a reference to the constellation bearing his name.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Carewyn loves records! Their audio quality is so much better than CDs.

As dumb and predictable as it sounds, Orion does enjoy lava lamps. He likes colored lighting as opposed to stark white light, as he finds it more calming (even if Carewyn points out that it often makes it harder to see!!), so you’ll find a lot of colored lightbulbs and such around the tiny cottage he shares with Eos.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Orion enjoys games of all kinds, not just Quidditch, so he and Carewyn will sometimes bust out a game of cards, checkers, or Scrabble when it’s raining, especially if Eos and/or Erik are also around. Carewyn’s favorite games are Hearts and Mancala, while Orion’s favorites are Blackjack and Jenga. Wizard’s Chess is one of Erik’s favorite games, so sometimes Orion will play with him while Eos and Carewyn watch, too.

S = Sad (How do they cheer each other up?)

When Carewyn’s down, Orion likes to encourage her to talk about it, but usually does so by starting off talking about something else entirely, so as to help her relax first. He will also sometimes want to show physical affection, like trying to hold her hand or wrapping an arm around her, which he always does so tentatively out of the worry of Carewyn not being comfortable with it that even if Carewyn’s not in the mood, she’ll nearly always try to adjust and initiate some physical affection in return to show some gratitude for the attempt (i.e. sliding her hand out of his, but kissing Orion gently on the cheek afterward).

When Orion’s down, Carewyn goes into full-on Mama Bear mode, coddling him to the nth degree and being his attentive listening ear.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Anything and everything! Orion is a philosopher to the max and Carewyn is intellectual enough to enjoy deep conversations, so they can go way far afield when they’re talking about stuff. Sometimes Carewyn needs to refocus the conversation because Orion gets too vague and dreamy and sometimes Orion has to “lighten up” the conversation when Carewyn gets too serious, but one of the things they love most about each other is how easy it is to talk to each other. You could hear them talking about their respective kids Eos and Erik and their careers just as often as the meaning of life or the current status of a piece of legislation regulating dragon breeding.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Orion meditates constantly. He’s occasionally been able to get Carewyn to join him, but more often she prefers putting on some calming music and getting some work done at the kitchen table while he does so, claiming that the music helps her relax. (It does. To a limited extent.) Whenever she does this, Orion -- upon finishing his meditation -- will fetch her hairbrush from her room with a smile and then come up behind her and start gently brushing her hair for her, which does actually get Carewyn’s shoulders to loosen up slightly. They also will often drink tea together, which is very calming.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

LMAO, if Orion manages to catch sight of Carewyn in the audience during a Quidditch match, he ALWAYS has to break out the old “Inspired Broom Surfing” technique for her. He can’t resist showing off on his broom around “his Abraxan.”

Carewyn’s much more prone to “show off” her partner’s accomplishments by telling others about them when they’re out and about together, as well as any pretty new outfits she’s wearing.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?

Carewyn and Orion would never get married, instead becoming legal partners with their own separate homes and lives that nonetheless exist in perfect harmony. Orion describes their relationship as them being two flowers that have bloomed on the same branch -- separate entities that nonetheless are connected and are fueled by the same sun and nourished by the same water. Carewyn felt strongly about them having some sort of lasting legal statement for the sake of both each other and their kids, so that if anything happened to either of them, their partner would have the right to be with them in St. Mungo’s, make decisions in their stead, and take custody of their respective child in an emergency. The two had a very small ceremony at a courthouse in London, only attended by their respective kids, before attending a larger gathering later with all of their friends and Carewyn’s mother and brother.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

These two have a whole playlist! ^.^

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Answered above, but no. Orion has his own cottage in Montrose, Scotland, home of his Quidditch team, while Carewyn has her own flat in London, England, close to her job at the Ministry of Magic, so merging their two households would’ve been a real challenge. On top of that, Carewyn was never in much of a rush to get married and Orion never saw much point in the ritual to begin with.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

There are actually a lot of hinkypunks in the woods around Orion’s cottage in Montrose, which Orion and Eos actually leave little treats out for and treat like pets, even if they’re generally known for luring people to their doom with their lamps. Eos tends to call every hinkypunk she comes across “Punk” by default, but there are a few she’s learned to recognize by overall attitude and given individual names like “Impy,” “Mello,” and “Wisp.” There’s also a large tribe of selkies that often pop up near the shore a short trek away from the Amari home too, and although Eos and Orion can’t communicate with them, Orion enjoys taking Carewyn down to the beach and encouraging her to sing so that the selkies will come up out of the water to listen better.

[ugh-tsumu]

nacurious aq sa game nyo kaya pwede po bang magparticipate 🥺👉👈 *uses this as an excuse to dump a bunch of feelings i ran over with a garbage trak*

dear charo CHOS

consecutively through the years of highschool, wala akong habol sa love life. kahit na nakikita kong nag hhww or motmot mga tropa ko, masaya na akong nakikita na inlab sila. kuntento akong tagabigay ako ng advice, since unbiased nga ako regarding the feelings of being in a relationship; outside person ba?

summer before tenth grade, i bought a couple's bracelet from my friend na nagnenegosyo by selling locally from a larger seller. circular beads with vine-like engravings. ung isa puro white then isang bead is black, then the other is inverse. i joked “my significant other is myself XD”. during that time, my mindset was: i don't need a partner, kumpleto na ako by myself (with the thought na hindi ako magiging complete if may partner ako, as if 50/50 kami and hindi ako 100) tsaka hindi ko priority ang mga ganyan HAHAHAH promise, i don't think i'd do a good job handling one. di na nga ako marunong ng social cues dahil di nga ako tao minsan, kailangan ko pang mapag-aralan ang lablyfe lablyfe na yan huhu kaya wag muna ngauon dahil lahat ng oras ko nakatungo sa pagtatapos lol

of course, influenced yun (wanting to stay single/more like alone) with the fact na i've been going through something big and gradual, affecting my mental health. i was too emotional and emotionally dull at the same time, i was lonely, i was incomplete. i had a lot of pride, and i thought na i wouldn't be a whole person that loved myself if had someone to love me back. kasi tama naman diba? you need to fill yourself with love, bonux nalang ung love from a partner.

then came prom season. may cotillion dance na ihahatid sa prom night in february, so during some day in january, nagstart magsearch ng volunteers to dance for cotillion and practice.

kasali ako dun, kasi i had the lingering thought na “wala na nga akong lovelife, di ako palalabas, tutok ako sa pag-aaral, tapos di ko to susubukan tulad ng iba? hindi ko bama naisulit pagiging sekundarya ko” see the vibe? i was basing values from other people, at hindi ako. it proves na i wasn't content with myself.

i had a designated dance partner, kaso may gustong iba ang gg di ginawang practice lang pero understand ba’t nagback-out. kaso since i was a bit vulnerable then, i also thought na it's also because hindi ako womanly or attractive unlike the others na nag-aayos or may wari. pero di ako madungis no! di nga lang “makadalaga” 🙄 i tried to not let the insecurity bother me, i made it up for my average pero still :/

eh may naging partner rin akong iba na diniditch rin ng partner nya? i was exasperated and told him na maging tentative dance partner muna kami, to which our mentor agreed kasi stressed na sya, umoo nalang kasi nga hagardo verzosa.

he was sheepish, quiet and introverted. he was gentle and awkward, and it was obvious na he wasn't used to interacting with the opposite gender, kasi kalmado naman sya with his friends. but i was calm naman, and that seemed to ease him. i also cracked jokes every once in a while when i felt potential tension, kasi we needed to get the job done. i was also very understanding and patient. (brought 2 u by being ate of the family WHAHAHAH)

his actions were fragile, and he held me as if i was even more as such. (please take note na hindi ako kinikilig huhu cringe lang aq ng slight because of my behaviour back then.) vulnerable, i felt warm at heart when he was gentle, and when he was bashful. the relationship we had was wordless. our connection was gradual; it developed from something to something else real slow yet still very quick for me.

we started from stumbling and chuckling around. yet i'd still guide him kasi he never danced before, and since i had the air of a leader, i knew how to be patient and how to teach him while hand to hand. i honestly don't know where it started to turn, i just wanted to have him as a closer friend, until i suddenly found there was something growing between us.

i spoke softly between us, he spoke more and he laughed more, smiled more. we preferred sitting by the other during breaks, and during last minute discussions before dismissal, we'd sit by eachother. he used discord, e kaso di compatible un sa device ko and magulong maaccess thru chrome kaya naginstall nalang sya ulit ng messenger when our mutual friend told him i sent him a message.

it kept developing by then. our hold started to linger, our touches were soft, and in any way possible, we'd still have skin contact. tuwing magpapause ung music and may icocorrect yung instructor, hawak nya pa rin kamay ko at hinihigpitan ko naman ung sakanya, na ibabalik nya naman. then during water breaks we'd spend the time with eachother. then during last minutes magkatabi kami and our hands secure between us, him hiding it because we both wanted it private without speaking.

it was wordless talaga, kaya nabigla ako when it went towards the more romantic route. he suggested some advances that he allowed enough space for me to rejec, which i did almost all the time unless it's just hand-holding or yakap lang HAAHA d q alam kung ano tawag samin e, sabi ng tropa ko MU daw e di ko naman peg un, pero i was glad it wasnt serious. i wasnt ready kahit na it seemed we had a deep connection. we sat by eachother came prom night, and he wore the other part of the couple bracelet that my friends teased me and they gave it to him. we were quiet and many people we knew teased us since we were the more on the quiet side of the student body.

then came summer vacation and i ghosted him WHAHAHAHAH for a good cause!! nagkalabuan na kami, i always gave him time and made the effort while more often he doesnt reciprocate and sometimes di pansin for weeks. i swear it's nothing like clingy aq and i needed his attention 25/8, i knew my limits and his. well, his loss :// di rin naman ako ready e, so it was bound to happen.

plus, i felt much better after that because i realized i was forcing myself to act more feminine. and that time was years before i realized i was actually non-binary, and more masculine. i knew he was much hetero and he'd rather a true feminine partner. plus, he envisioned the future with me as a housewife tapos sya daw ung nagtatrabaho 🤢 pero anyway, i think i'd much rather have a female partner or actually just lgbt-aware partner.

ty missus!!

- nova

Omg anon, this is so intimate 🥺 thank you for sharing? AND ALSO, I WAS SMIRKING THE WHOLE STORY BUT you lost me at the last part when he said he sees you as a housewife lang 😔👊

Anyways, I'm glad you've moved on from him! And LMAO it's his loss for limiting his self to feminine preferences. Women (and men, tbh) are uniquely different. To limit your choices is stupid Lol 🙄

Also, I tried looking for a female character I know that will do you good talaga but they just don't seem to fit 😔 I ended up with a male character, I hope you don't mind.

I choose Chanwoo for you!

Love Advice from the Single-Ass Duchess of Tumblr

[sir-klauz]

I personally find it really weird when you’re pro one minorities rights but boycott or ignore and don’t bother about any of the rest, but that’s not my mindset so that’s probably why I don’t understand not being empathetic or bother too much supporting all of them. So now I will go into the seriousness of what is happening.

In 2020, HRC tracked a record number of violent fatal incidents against transgender and gender non-conforming people. A total of 44 fatalities were tracked by HRC, marking 2020 as the most violent year on record, and at least 12 and its only just hit April.

These victims were killed by acquaintances, partners or strangers, some of whom have been arrested and charged, others still haven’t.

It wasn’t even been a month since Diamond Kyree Sanders, a black trans woman was killed on March 3rd (it’s only April the 4th now) before the 12 was recorded.

It needs to stop.

I experienced personally my first physical assault after years of verbal experiences, the night after the last Bristol Pride was held before COVID, in a house surrounded by people who pretended to be my friends, but 1 of whom joined in, and the other who turned the other way and proceeded to relentlessly harass me after because I didn’t want to be near them anymore. I am thankful I got “lucky”. I use that term because I got my life and these others did not, but that life got taken over by trauma for a long time afterwards.

Trans murders have jumped 266 percent from last year. It was already bad, but COVID has been seeing us a burning hand on top or this horrible virus that’s sweeping us already. The governments are not doing enough because most of them do not need to care, as it’s trans to cis ratio is obviously completely out.

But as we unfortunately know, often, it doesn’t affect you, a lot choose to not be wrapped up into it because they perhaps will never have to.

People run from it, and I wish it was so simple to be able to do that for the rest of us, the ones who wont be protected by the law, the ones who won’t even be hired for jobs we need just over something like what minority we are, we can’t run from the knowledge of all we may face, or the prospect of being beaten, being accosted in a bathroom, being threatened if we choose to have a family, losing family, losing people we care about over something like this, something that is innocent, what we were born as that we can’t change.

I just hope in the future I see more about trans rights, a lot of people shy away from that. There’s been a lot of seriously bad stuff happening this year that people either haven’t noticed or refuse to listen to, refuse to try hell with stopping, and the government is digging us holes from all sides again, and have throughout the COVID epidemic because they decided to use this already tremendously difficult historical event to appear to sprout an attack on trans people.

Far right organisations here and across the pond have been ripping us and our safety apart and I’m seeing bare minimum about it if I’m honest.

https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/breaking-2021-becomes-record-year-for-anti-transgender-legislation

There have been 81 anti-trans and lgbtqia+ actions lead in only the past 4 years that I’ve recorded from Trumps reign. Legally imprisoning us into discrimination and targeting without any form of punishment, leading many to live life in fear or to shut themselves away, knowing that whoever walks around the corner could be ready to do anything, and nothing will be in place to punish them for it so we would’ve at least had the safety from the law.

https://transequality.org/the-discrimination-administration

It needs to stop

During COVID officials and police all over the world have been misusing the law with the restrictions to abuse trans and lgbqia+ people.

In Uganda police detained some 20 LGBT homeless youth on spurious charges of breaking Covid-19 restrictions and tortured them in prison.

In the Philippines, village officials humiliated LGBT people while enforcing curfew.

In South Korea, social media users scapegoated LGBT people after some media linked an outbreak to gay clubs.

In Panama, police and private security officials discriminated against transgender people while enforcing a gender-based quarantine.

Hungary’s populist leader Viktor Orbán used Covid-19 emergency powers to rush through discriminatory legislation against transgender people.

Our Boris Johnson scrapped plans to make changing gender easier, as if it already wasn’t hard enough. The waiting list is now around 4 years, I was promised two, I’m in my third year, and now it’s more unless we all manage to get rich enough to pay for it ourselves.

Let’s not forget how he also scrapped important funding for anti-bullying programmes and protections in schools, something which I’ve witnessed through my brothers time in schoool during this time, affected him and others to have the support and respect they needed to and LGBT+ person being cut from being allowed to stay as a prefect with the excuse of “we need to make it more visibly diverse”... so they fired the lgbt+ person out of the other non-lgbt+ people????

https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2020/11/19/lgbt-anti-bullying-programme-uk-schools-boris-johnson-government-funding/

Johnson’s government appears to align itself with increasing anti-trans rhetoric.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/trans-self-id-gender-recognition-act-lgbt-rights-b528630.html%3famp

2021 has already seen 12 trans people dead, and 350 trans people were killed in 2020 (that I’m aware of, please add if you know more), children being allowed to be bullied because their safety isn’t worth protecting, and the police are not on our side and neither are many places or circles. Let that sit with you if you read this far.

I hope this might spark the seriousness to someone who hasn’t already taken it seriously because:

IT NEEDS TO STOP.

[dirtyfilthy]

The Betrayal Of Chelsea Manning By The Coward Adrian Lamo

I have only participated in “cancel culture” once that I can remember. Once, over the broad course of my life, and that was when Adrian Lamo sold Chelsea Manning out to the authorities. Motherfucker has the  sheer gall to call himself a hacker, and then rats someone out — not because of his principles, but from a constant desire for pure narcissistic supply -- and all this from a position of trust no less… 

I was real angry, and I wanted to put the boot in, any way I could. There was a special circle of hell reserved for people like Adrian Lamo… and as it would turn out, he was already in it. 

Amongst petty vendettas like stuffing his wikipedia page with all the well referenced dirt I could dig up, along the way, and kind of by-the-by, I ended up doing a lot of research on the guy, and then, well, the picture of Lamo that emerged… 

Jesus. 

He’s been a hardcore benzo addict since his twenties. If you know what to look for you can tell in some of his interviews, slurring his words and looking very spacey.  He never really had a real job, never broke into the industry he was aways on the fringes of. It’s kinda crazy, if you search for “homeless hacker Adrian Lamo” you can still see what the mass media thought of him before he turned in Chelsea. 

He’d kind of weaselled his way into popular consciousness by being a shameless self-promoter, and then managing to get caught in that spectacular “rebellious teenage hacker” vs. “huge faceless corporation” way that tends to capture people’s imagination. 

There were whole articles about him in Wired. Multiple in fact. Here’s one of earliest from 2004 (unfortunately now behind a paywall), “New York Times vs The Homeless Hacker”. The first few lines can still give you the gist, however

A self-styled security expert and serial self-promoter, Adrian Lamo made headlines as a grayhat hacker. Then the Gray Lady came down on his head. Not long ago Adrian Lamo was exploring an abandoned gypsum processing plant in West Philadelphia with two friends, when a police cruiser drove slowly by. Lamo’s friends were high on methamphetamines…

https://www.wired.com/2004/04/hacker-5/

Even during this phase of his life, a lot of people in the scene didn’t like him. At least, there were people complaining on hacker boards about him stealing exploits and then burning them for the publicity.  In the end he got off with probation and home detention, and that was the end of blatantly hacking into shit. Any more and he would certainly end up in prison. Attitudes were changing, the authorities had stopped seeing hacking as just high-spirited teenage hijinks. and the increasingly severe penalties could land you some serious time. 

After this, he just sorted floated around. He never got job in the industry like the rest of us, and I suspect he may have been  basically unemployable for one reason or another. The next time he popped up in my news feed was in 2010 with a strange article from ex-hacker turned journalist and friend of Lamo’s,, Kevin Poulsen — “Ex-Hacker Adrian Lamo Institutionalized, Diagnosed with Asperger’s” 

The first paragraph or so reads:

Last month Adrian Lamo, a man once hunted by the FBI, did something contrary to his nature. He says he picked up a payphone outside a Northern California supermarket and called the cops.

Someone, Lamo says, had grabbed his backpack containing the prescription anti-depressants he'd been on since 2004, the year he pleaded guilty to hacking The New York Times. He wanted his medication back. But when the police arrived at the Safeway parking lot it was Lamo, not the missing backpack, that interested them. Something about his halting, monotone speech, perhaps slowed by his medication, got the officers' attention

— (https://www.wired.com/2010/05/lamo/)

The article claimed Lamo had been arrested for acting strangely and then institutionalised, basically claiming the police had arrested him because he was autistic. At the time, I didn’t really give this a second thought, “oh well, ho-hum”. As itt turned out, this was a case of the most spectacular kind of “spin” I think I’ve ever seen; the only place the article actually intersected with general consensual reality was in stating Lamo had been arrested and placed on psychiatric hold.

The real story, which is entirely far more pathetic, was that Lamo’s family had become worried about his benzo use (“prescription anti-depressants”) and had cut him off. He totally lost the plot at this point and stormed out of house. Concerned about his mental state, and with fears for his physical safety, it was actually  his own family that called the police to try and find him. 

When confronted about this fairly massive discrepancy, Lamo claimed he hadn’t exactly “lied” as such, and had simply withheld some facts due to personal privacy concerns. 

It was at this point I finally began to see the whole tattered trajectory of Lamo’s entire life — trace the greasy path of his rainbow with my fingertips, and watch as the once bright twine became  increasing gray and frayed as each thread began to curve back towards it’s inevitable impact with the earth, when, at which point, everything important would begin to totally unravel around him.

At his core, Adrian Lamo was a narcissist, and so Adrian Lamo absolutely believed in the Adrian Lamo narrative, as only a narcissist can. Near of beginning of his tale, this was easy to do. He was a wandering Daoist sage, a renegade techno-monk character in a Neal Stephenson cyberpunk novella, and anytime he wanted to see his own reflection he could simply look in any of the major newspapers.  

After his arrest and release, the rest of the world moved on. His peers all settled down to well-paid industry gigs, and you couldn’t just pop the New York Times through an open proxy any longer — well, at least: not most of time, anyway. His own sword, never the exactly the sharpest in the first place, was beginning to show some signs of a serious structural rust. 

Without the constant assurance of people telling his own story back at him, what was he exactly? What did the mirror portray to him now?  An unemployed, semi-homeless drug addict, a hacker who couldn’t hack his way out of wet paper back with pick axe, the tired punch line to any number of bad jokes...   

Of course, the many similarities to my own life were not exactly lost on me. I was basically a case of being a few near misses and unlucky hits away from sitting in his exact position. I had made the transition to an industry career successfully, but I was still a drug addict with mental heath issues.  I had gone through my own narcissistic stage when I was younger, but thankfully grew out of it, the old moons no longer pulled on my tides the way they used to. 

The essential Lamo pattern had began to emerge. Still chasing the same bright stars that had long since sunk beneath the horizon line of the ocean; Lamo would begin to feel irrelevant —  Lamo would get then his name in the media in some fashion. A momentary peace was then achieved, then came a brief period of post-orgasmic. cosmic serenity. 

But of course, the wheel of karma will not stop spinning for anyone, and so, soon enough and all-to-quickly, the entire process of personal renewal, would have to, you know…..  begin anew.

A few other case studies were observed. An unreleased, permanently unfinished documentary featuring Lamo was mysteriously leaked on the internet. Of course, Lamo himself had leaked it. And there was always appearing on various morning television shows, Good Morning America, Fox News & the like.

But then the mother of all opportunities just dropped into his lap.

Chelsea Manning needed someone to talk to. 

Chelsea knew Lamo was Bi, so he was at least in the LGBT community. Adrian was a hacker too. He’d fought against the system in his day, he was certainly someone who would “get it”, she was very sure of this.  And when she did reach out, he was indeed very sympathetic. Honestly, it seemed like he really cared. Just a genuine human being, reaching out across the vast emotional void to provide a sense of empathy to someone who really, really needed it right now.. 

He was very sympathetic when Chelsea told him all about her struggles with gender identity, and he was very sympathetic when she said she was leaking gigabytes of information to Wikileaks…. But behind his sunglasses, Lamo eyes had already morphed into a marquee LED matrix endlessly scrolling his own name. Think of the news coverage!

This was big. This was very big.

It would, in fact, turn out to be fucking huge. Of course, within in the hacker scene, and to a certain extent, even outside it, everyone just fucking loathed him now.  Eventually even the news moved on, nobody wanted any more interviews, and in the end, when everything has already been all said and done: you are ultimately left with only yourself….

… a pathetic drug addict.  Of course, I have to keep telling myself that one point of intersection does not an entire venn diagram or an actual equality make. But I can’t shake the feeling that, perhaps, maybe we weren’t really all that different.  Maybe my own betrayals have had the simple luck of being a lot less public. 

Perhaps my own sins were just as ugly, but far less ambitious. 

Adrian Lamo died alone, from a drug overdose, in a private unit in an aged care facility in Wichita, Kansas.  He was 37 years old. An autopsy showed his kidneys were already failing. 

I guess Sartre got it wrong. Hell isn’t other people, it’s being left totally alone, with nothing else around but the tedious company of your own terrible self, and of course, the fucker won’t stop talking...

So obviously there was nothing more I could do to hurt Adrian Lamo, nothing that Adrian Lamo hadn’t done already. He had long since locked himself away in a prison cell of his own making. I do wonder if maybe one too many silent 3am’s hadn’t come crawling around the clock face when he was there & awake to witness it, lying in bed & staring at the ceiling and trying not to think about things.

Like I’m doing.

Shit, I hope don’t go out that way. 

[migleefulmoments]

CCers and Donald Trump both love to rage and spin up their followers but neither knows how to handle the anger they generate

If you are going to spend your time frothing up your followers into an angry hornets nest of hate and frustration, you have to be prepared for dealing with that anger.  The current crop of “leaders” have no idea. They acting righteously indignant when the anger comes back on Darren. If they spend any amount of time reading what they wrote with a critical eye they would see that everything expressed by crissvoncolfer reflects the various tropes ccers love so much. Crissvoncolfer is missing the crucial step after hearing all of Darren’s failures one is supposed to immediately feel pity for Darren and blame those who surround him but NEVER DARREN. Nothing Darren does is his responsibility.

The ccers are like republicans -they want to find fault with everything he does, blame everyone around him for his failures but then give him mountains of credit for his successes. It’s like the American Capitalism under republicans- privatized profits and socialized losses (need proof- look no further than the bailout packages that went to mega wealthy corporations (a few which were caught and did give the money back), airlines, and now they are pushing for the automobile industry next but we CANNOT afford socialized medicine and we need to make cuts to social security-something we pay into- and Medicare- something that works -after they gave billionaires a huge tax cut).  

I really want to point out Notes post because it offeneded me the most.  Chrisdare is again speaking for all the gays while pretending she isn’t and Cassie is playing a version of “I’m not racist because I have black friends” switched to “Darren isn’t hurting the LGBTQ community by hiding in the closet because so many gay people say he’s nice”.  If Darren did all the things they claim ccDarren does, he would be pretty toxic. It’s not about letting him come out on his own terms, it’s about the many lies ccDarren has spun in order to protect his truth... all while living with Chris. Claiming that young gay kids wouldn’t be harmed by his message of “being gay is awesome but I”m straight”.  It’s one thing to hide in the closet publically but to get married in a lavish wedding week and to speak so freely on his wife and happy marriage make him ineligible for his ccstatus as an innocent gay icon who’s just too scared to come out this month, year, decade...maybe in the next decade?  

As for Cassie- maybe quarantine is getting to her...too much time with her dream lover? 

crissvoncolfer You know the more he talks about the beard and the strip club with a fucking smile on his face the more he’s going to look like a lying asshole when all of this comes out. He already looks like one to a lot of people in the lgbt community.

PS Fellow queer K/Michale deserves to be called out for feeding the beast when he knows what the score is. I don’t care if he needs the work.

chrisdarebashfulsmiles You know I’m tired of this. I can’t talk for all the lgbt community but my opinion is it would be hypocritical by people of our community being judgmental shit towards D.

I’m part of it and I don’t care what he has to do most of the time because the struggle is real and I know how hard can be in some environment to be not out for whatever reason. And I’m only a pan person who can talk like a straight one like R/aymond A/insley of HW seems white in the industry.

I don’t think that the community thinks D is good only when he helps to raise money… Otherwise shame on us as community… Really.

Let’s stop saying that he already looks like an asshole for a big part of the lgbt community. I don’t think we have made a poll to know for sure about it. What I see, personal experience, to be pressed about him are most of the time straight relative or friends of lgbt people who think they can dictate when that man has to publicly come out for their consumption and don’t really understand what a coming out could mean.

As far as I can see in every lgbtq forum checked since 2013 I’ve always found that most of the people fantasize about tap him and don’t care if he’s not out for the public.

I think we should all take a big breath and count at least until 100 before deciding to talk in the name of the community.

You think D’s is looking like an asshole? Be my guest I have no problem about it. You are part of the lgbtq community? Good. This is your opinion, valid as mine.

Let’s not talk in the name of others.

notes-from-nowhere What @chrisdarebashfulsmiles said. Most members of the LGBT+ community understand D better than anyone. And there is no way the blame is going to stay on his shoulders for long after the truth will come out.

cassie1022 Run along, you dick, and reblog that vile video for the 7,000th time. Have you SEEN how many celebs that identify as LGBTQ LOVE him? Have you? I doubt it. You think he’s an asshole? Skippy for you, I think YOU’RE an asshole. Did you forget how long NPH, Ellen, Ricky M, Wentworth M, and countless others were forced to stay in the closet? Seriously, fuck off. Leave the fandom if he makes you that miserable. (X)

[what-if-rpg]

Welcome to the family, ALY (she/he/they)! Your application to BLAINE ANDERSON was accepted. I am really happy to have you around! Make sure to read the beginners checklist, and remember, have fun! I can’t wait to roleplay with you! Have fun!

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER NAME: Blaine Devon Anderson


CHARACTER AGE & DATE OF BIRTH: 27, April 7th


OCCUPATION: Broadway Actor and Singer


FACE CLAIM: Darren Criss


HOMETOWN & CITY WHERE LIVES NOW: Born in Boston, MA. Lives in New York City, NY. 


SEXUAL ORIENTATION & GENDER: Gay & Cis Male


RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Separated from Kurt Hummel


POSITIVE TRAITS: generous, passionate, gregarious 


NEGATIVE TRAITS: naive, emotional, controlling


CHARACTER QUOTE/LYRIC: Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end. 


ANYTHING ELSE?: None!

HEADCANONS

Blaine has always been the man with a million interests. Of course, theatre and performing are his main interest, but in middle and high school Blaine played different sports, read prolifically, watched nerdy movies, and joined many clubs. Painting himself into a corner had always felt a little silly to him. He never wanted to be defined by any one thing. He’s gay and he loves nerd culture and follows football. He listens to record upon record of classic rock, but can belt all the latest top 40 hits. He can play a wide spread of instruments because just one was never enough. It’s helped him never fall into niches. He has friends from a wide spread of backgrounds and interests and he feels that that makes his life a whole lot richer than if he picked a lane and stayed in it. Maybe that makes him a little all over the place, but he’d rather that than be average in any way.

Because of being bullied in school for being gay, Blaine is a huge advocate for anti-bullying and protecting queer youth. He knows that he was extremely lucky to have parents who could afford to send him to private school when the bullying was too much. A majority of LGBT kids don’t have that luxury. He tries to volunteer as much as he can and makes sure that a portion of all his paychecks go to organization doing work to make the world a safer place for kids like him who struggled finding a safe place to be their authentic selves. He feels like that is the least that he can do with what his life has given him. Paying it forward.

Blaine has performed in six different Broadway shows in his time since leaving school. Finding success, even in the smallest of parts, really solidified for Blaine that this is what he wanted to do with his life. He was born to be on stage. Sometimes it’s stressful never knowing what the next job will be or if his luck will someday run out, but he has faith that he’ll always get to keep making art and helping people, even if Broadway doesn’t last. Plus, he always has his music and singing. It’s not really a career as much as a hobby, but it helps to fill in the gaps between shows. Most recently, Blaine is between jobs, auditioning around and performing his music at clubs and cabarets.

Blaine is adopted. After struggling so much to conceive Cooper and then trying again for over a year to conceive a second child, the Andersons eventually decided that going down the route of newborn adoption was better for them as a family. They were eventually paired with a young woman in Boston and just a few months later, they were receiving the call to come to the hospital and meet their son. Blaine was the name that the Andersons chose and his birth mother chose Devon. The adoption would be closed, but they all thought it was important for the baby to have a piece of where he got his start. Growing up, he always knew he was adopted. His curly hair and easily tanned skin reflected his birth mother’s Filipina roots, which Pamela Anderson had tried to make sure Blaine grew up connected to.

CONNECTIONS

(new, to be added to the existing ones)

THE ANDERSONS (Parents): While Blaine’s childhood was certainly nothing where he wanted for anything that money could buy him, that didn’t mean that it was perfect. Blaine was the younger son with a big brother who he looked up to for everything. Part of that, though, translated into his young mind as a need to be as valuable in the eyes of his parents as he perceived that his brother was. With his mother, Blaine knew that she and Cooper were very close and, of course, the baby sibling instinct was always to look for her affection. Once Blaine was older, in school, and had friends of his own, he stopped being so clingy. She was the kind of mom that gave Blaine his space to explore himself and what he wanted to do, but who was always there if he needed her. When it comes to his father, Blaine always tried to do what he needed to do to earn his affection. He kept good grades. He was polite and charming. Especially when Cooper was old enough that he left home and it was the three of them in their big house in Lima, Blaine felt like he had to live up to his dad’s expectations.

When he came out at 13, it was clear that was not what his father wanted to hear. His mom and, of course, Cooper, always supported him, but Blaine wanted that love from his father, too. He did whatever his dad wanted. Fixing cars like he’d done with Cooper. Toning his personality down. Whatever it took. He knew his dad loved him, of course. When Blaine went through a hate crime at a Sadie Hawkins dance at 14, his father’s first response was to get him transferred to Dalton Academy with its rigorous anti-bullying policy. Still, Blaine couldn’t help but feel like being gay was something to do quietly in their house. Now, all grown up, his relationship with his parents is a more stable. It took time and work, but now that he’s an adult and has a child of his own, Blaine feels secure in the love they feel for him and that he feels for them.

COOPER ANDERSON (Brother): When Blaine was little, he idolized Cooper. Their shared love of music and acting - something that Blaine was sure Cooper inspired in him - meant that they always had something to talk about. The tension in their relationship mostly came after Cooper left home. Sometimes Blaine felt like all he did when he got to see his brother was listen to criticism. He tried to remember that his brother loved him and wanted him to succeed, but he missed the times when things felt more like encouragement than feedback. Still, there is nothing that Blaine wouldn’t do for Cooper. Getting older and having their lives and families and careers grow definitely repaired a lot of the issues in their brotherhood. At the end of the day, Blaine knows that Cooper has his back and hopes that Cooper feels the same way about him.

SERENA HUMMEL-ANDERSON (Daughter): Serena is, without a doubt, the center of Blaine’s world. He’d always loved kids, cradling baby dolls and playing school as a child. If he hadn’t gone so fill tilt into performing, he knew he’d probably have become an elementary school teacher or something like that. What wasn’t negotiable, though, is that Blaine would be a father. It felt like an inherent part of his destiny. With he and Kurt married and happy, welcoming a little life into their family felt natural. Meeting Serena was the happiest day of his life. Of course, with their marriage falling apart, their little family was changed, but what never would differ is how much Blaine loves his baby. It’s hard to not get to see her all the time, but with joint custody and the flexible schedule of a performer, Blaine tries his hardest to be the best dad that he can be. And he’s so proud of the little girl she is becoming.

[cardinaldaughter]

Good Omens Changed My Life. Twice.

Bear with me. This is super long, and super personal. But I figured, on the 30th anniversary of the book, I’d share with you all just how important Good Omens is to me, even if I didn’t fully understand how much until recently.

A thirty-year-long tale under the cut.

(mentions of death, homophobia, religion and politics)

I was born 30 years ago in the American South. While not exactly actively political, my parents were conservative, as was basically everyone I knew. And so I grew up exposed to Fox News and Glenn Beck and the NRA and conservative view points. I remember telling my father I couldn’t wait to grow up so I could be in the NRA with him. I remember thinking how I was going to vote for a republican when I was old enough to vote. What little I understood about the world, I understood from a conservative perspective, and because I was a child, I trusted the adults around me and believed what they said was sincere and trusted that their beliefs and intentions were honest.

During my childhood, I spent a great deal of time with one of my aunts. She was like a second mother to me, and I think, in some ways, I was probably her “second chance” at motherhood, considering she didn’t have a great relationship with her son. I spent most of my Saturday’s with my aunt. We went on all kinds of adventures together, and I loved her probably more than anyone in the world, my parents included.

When I was 10, she lost her battle to cancer. It was the second major death I’d experienced as a child, but this one struck harder and hurt much deeper. If it weren’t for the fact that this post is about Good Omens (I’m getting there, I promise) I would spend the rest of my time trying to express to you how much I loved this woman, and how deeply her death impacted me. But that’s another story for another time.

My aunt, during her last few years of life, started going to a church. And when she died, those people showed up to the funeral. And by showed up, I mean physically and emotionally. They sang songs. They helped my mom with arrangements (she was in charge). They brought us food. They loved on me, even though I didn’t know them. They clearly loved my aunt, and that love carried over to her family. And my parents- who weren’t exactly Christians and didn’t attend church- were extremely moved. So my mom decided to go to that church the following Sunday to thank them for their kindness. We never left.

That church became home. I met people there who changed my life. These people became brothers, sisters, mentors, friends. They helped fill the gap my aunt’s death had left, and though I was struggling and unable to properly mourn (which I wouldn’t understand for another decade or more) I felt better. I felt loved. I felt accepted. As I grew up there, attending the academy run through the church and getting more involved in ministry, I began paying more and more attention to what the adults around me were saying. And like most conservatives, they lamented over the evils of abortion and homosexuality and liberal ideology. And because I loved these adults, trusted them, respected them, believed them, I adopted the same beliefs. I was a child; they were adults. They couldn’t be wrong, right? I attended a community college for two years, then transferred to a close by university that was far enough away that I needed to move to an apartment in another city, but close enough that I could still come home frequently. But it meant leaving the church. I promised my friends I’d be back every Sunday I could make it. I didn’t want to leave, because all my friends were at that church, and it was home. But I wanted to get my bachelor’s, so I packed my things and I moved with the determination that I would come running home as soon as I was able. Before I left, I was told by a couple people in the church: “Now when you get to college, don’t open your mind so much that your brain falls out!” I thought that was an incredibly stupid thing to say, because it was in itself ridiculous- having an open mind was not a bad thing- but also because I was secure in my beliefs. I wasn’t going to change. Once at university- despite being incredibly shy and introverted, I managed to make a few friends. One was a Jewish atheist, and another was a girl from India who practiced Hinduism. Both were so far out of my understanding of life that I was fascinated, but rather than trying to “save them” (something I’d NEVER been comfortable with, so I just used my shyness as an excuse not to “witness” to people) I listened. Their stories were fascinating. And I am so grateful they were willing to share their experiences with me, and for a time I was very close to them both.

Okay. Now for the part you’ve been waiting for.

During this time at college, I, through a roundabout way, discovered Good Omens. After some major difficulty in hunting down the book, I got my hands on a copy- where an angel and demon reject everything they’ve been told they should be in order to help save the world. I didn’t understand why at the time, but I identified with Crowley. I felt a kinship with him I wasn’t qualified to fully appreciate, but I absolutely loved him. This demon who deep down didn’t want to be evil; who’s only real crime had been asking questions- something about that resonated with me.

“Why would asking questions be considered a bad thing?” I wondered.

It was during this time that, thanks to friends who were so different than me, and professors who had a much broader sense of the world, and thanks to some inspiration from a wily serpent, I found myself doing something I’d never done before:

I started questioning everything I’d ever been told.

Because, if I was honest with myself, I genuinely didn’t understand why two men or two women couldn’t get married. I didn’t understand why a woman was forced to have a baby she didn’t want or couldn’t care for. I didn’t actually want to join the NRA because I didn’t actually like guns. They made me uncomfortable, and I thought there should be more regulations on them. I read about and agreed with the tenants of feminism. I began learning about the LGBT community and realized that once I stopped being told over and over again that these people were evil sinners bound for hell, I realized that they were just normal people like me trying to find their place in the world and love with dignity and freedom. What was evil about that? “Oh god,” I said my senior year of college, when I realized the devastating truth I had been reluctant to face. “I can’t be liberal! I can’t be a feminist! I’m a Christian!” - I said this to myself numerous times, because I had been taught that to be a Democrat or a feminist was fundamentally non-Christian. And I had a years-long identity crisis over this. I struggled with this inner turmoil that I felt- how can I be a liberal feminist AND a Christian? Surely I can’t... 

But I was. This realization caused me to have a full-on identity crisis. I cried. I panicked. I prayed for God to correct my thinking if I was wrong. I only grew more convinced of my convictions.

Finally, I graduated and moved back home. I got married to the love of my life. I resumed going to church. I figured maybe if I just stop asking questions, things will go back to normal, and I won’t go to hell for my spiritual misstep. But everything felt different, somehow. My husband didn’t seem really political, so I never asked his opinions on things. I kept my thoughts to myself, having a completely hidden existential crisis while I sat in the church I’d grown up in with the people I’d once loved and trusted and believed implicitly, and realized I no longer trusted or believed them. Finally, a couple years into our marriage, I broke down and confessed to my husband (who I met at church, by the way) how I was feeling about...well,  everything. In a truly relieving turn of events, he felt the same way I did. I was so relieved to finally speak out about my feelings, about how I wasn’t conservative but was so afraid of that fact. How I was a feminist. How I wanted to vote third party in the 2012 election (because I was too afraid to commit to the sin of voting democrat, which to some people in my church, it would have been.) Political discussions with my husband increased in volume, length, passion, and frustration. We started keeping up with politics more, especially as we realized we were adults now and these things mattered. We talked a lot about our opinions, and how those opinions didn’t exactly line up with the church. I was so conflicted I honestly felt like I was being ripped in half. Finally my husband said he wanted to leave the church. I was a part of a couple ministries within the church, one of which I was very attached to as it allowed me a lot of creative freedom and I had made some very close friendships through. I couldn’t do it. I wanted to leave, I really did, but I literally felt chained to my place. I wouldn’t have phrased it that way then, but I know that’s what it was now. So we kept our mouths shut and stayed at church like good little obedient Christians. He still wanted to leave, and ultimately began going less. Because of my commitments, I needed to be there every week, even though some days, getting up to go to church made me feel like I was suffocating. But surely God would change my heart if I was in the wrong. I begged him to. I tried to adopt old beliefs, but they felt dirty and wrong in a way that made me physically ill. So I began to quietly try to accept I was a Christian who was also a Democrat. The internal war within me raged on. I had so many questions, but I knew better than to ask them. And then 2016 happened. Donald Trump was elected president. And I watched that man espouse racist, harmful, evil things, and I watched as the people I grew up believing and trusting support him. Defend him. Proclaim he was chosen by God. And I felt sick. If that man is what Christians view as a godly man, I wanted no part in Christianity. And I said as much. In an angry post on Facebook the morning after he won the election, I said Trump was not godly. I repeated things he had said. I said you can’t call yourself a Christian and support this man. I got reprimanded by leaders in my church. “You represent the church. You have to be careful what you say,” I was told. “God will take care of us, don’t worry,” others tried to mitigate. I had a family member, someone I trusted and admired with my whole heart- someone I’d gone to for advice countless times- tell me my words were vile. My words. The words challenging a wicked man who made fun of disabled people, and who was sexist and racist and awful... who people falsely believed represented the so-called loving God we were called to follow. Devastated and confused, I took down the post, stayed silent, and continued going to church. But I felt so sick. And that sickness ate at me for the next three years. I wanted to leave, I really did, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how. It wasn’t like I was being forced to stay, but I felt glued to my spot, paralyzed and helpless. I’d been in church for 20 years. This place had been so helpful, and hopeful.... but it wasn’t that place to me anymore.

How does one turn their back on their home?

During all that, I turned to fiction for comfort. My existential crisis of faith was making me miserable, so I buried myself in stories, art, video games, shows, movies, fanfiction, to help ease the ache. And then, after months of eager anticipation, May 2019 rolled around, and Good Omens was released on Amazon Prime. I still loved the book. Loved Crowley. I couldn’t wait to watch the show. As before, I adored Crowley, but the more the show went on, the more my heart and soul latched onto Aziraphale. Everything he said and did made me want to hug the poor dear, though it wasn’t until episode four that I realized exactly why I felt such strong kinship to the TV version of the angel. Aziraphale and I were both trapped. He was bound by the rules of Heaven and his angelic duties. I was bound by my connection to the church and the ministry I was now in charge of. “If I could just reach the right people...” Aziraphale said desperately to Crowley, who replied: “That won’t happen!” And then, stubbornly, desperately, Aziraphale reaches out the Metatron, and I watched as the hope in an angel’s eyes died as he was told heaven wasn’t going to change, they wanted their war, and he needed to get up there and do his part. That scene resonated so much with me, because in that moment I wasn’t watching a fictional show- I was reliving my own life. The moment I was told my words saying Trump was not a godly man didn’t represent the church. That look on Aziraphale’s face expressed the despair I felt when I realized the church was fundamentally wrong. I was stuck in an institution I didn’t exactly support, but felt bound to stick with even as I grappled with the fact that perhaps they weren’t quite as good as I’d once believed them to be. I’d been questioning for some time, like Crowley had, but like Aziraphale, I was afraid to really do anything about it. I kept hoping that I’d just... come across the right person and they could alleviate my concerns, but... that never happened. I kept believing, like Aziraphale, that Heaven (the church) were the good guys, and this was all just a massive misunderstanding and surely they’d see reason. I mean, they had too. Right?

What encouraged me the most though, was at end of the story, is that Aziraphale eventually does reject heaven for Crowley/earth/humans, and is still an angel. Is still seen as good. His choice is seen as the right one, and he isn’t punished for standing up to his “good” superiors and saying, “No I will not do what you want”. It meant so much to me, to see him walk away from heaven and end up much happier than he’d ever been. It made me hope that I could achieve that same happy ending. It took a few more months of coming to terms with my feelings on everything. But I finally felt that metaphorical bond to the church snap after one Sunday where our pastor mocked a liberal politician and said some other things that made me so upset I stood up and walked out of church. I got home to my husband- my Crowley, who’d been ready to officially leave for years but was too fast for me- and told him I was ready. He asked if I was sure. I said yes. I wanted to leave. The last Sunday of February was my last Sunday at that church. I don’t think I would have had the courage to do it if not for watching Aziraphale’s struggle, his uncertainty, and his ultimate triumph. Knowing how his story ended gave me the hope that once I walked out of that place for the last time, I’ll be able to heal, and I’ll be able to actually do the good I so long to do and be in this world.

I find it funny, looking back. Reading Good Omens gave me the courage to actually question what I’d always been taught. Ten years later, the show gave me the courage to act on those questions. To know that having them isn’t enough. I need to ask them. And then I need to take a stand when the answers aren’t satisfactory.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the show came out during an extremely important time in my life- when I was trying and failing to find the courage to leave. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that when I needed Aziraphale and Crowley the most, they were there, showing me the way and telling me that it will be alright. I don’t think it’s a coincidence, but I do think it’s a little bit ineffable.

Thank you, Neil and Terry, for creating such amazing characters. Thank you David, for being a brilliant Crowley, and thank you Michael, for being able to convey in a single look how hopeless I’d been feeling for years, essentially snapping me out of my emotional stasis, and giving me the courage to do what needed to be done.

Thank you to the GO fandom, whose stories and art and memes have provided me with a great deal of comfort as I adjust to my new reality.

I love you all. To the world.

[twenty-one-froggy-pilots]

friend please, ruby, house of gold?💕

friend, please: what is the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you? -

This might be a little vague, but I still am so so thankful that I had a friend who listened to me talk about what was going on at home at my dads house and gave me the courage to talk to my mom about it, setting me free from years of horrible horrible stuff, she was honestly one of the nicest and best people I ever knew, and even though we don’t talk anymore I still love her with all my heart

Ruby: Has a stranger ever impacted your life -

I mean, in the end probably, but not a lot have had a lasting impact that I really remember, though actually when I was younger a group of boys came up to me and my friends to ask for my best friends number and it was the most awkward exchange I’ve ever seen in my life, and I could tell it was just like a contest for them to get a number, and I ended up pulling my very confused friend away, oh! There was also the time I was really out of breath due to the fact that my heart doesn’t work very well sometimes so I went into a store and sat down on a bench and an older lady came up to me and said something like ‘don’t excersise much huh?’ And I looked at her point blank and told her I had a heart condition and all of the sudden she was all ‘are you ok? Oh my goodness do you need anything’ I was probably around 18 or so at the time and it was fantastic, not the heart but certainly the turn around in attitude

house of gold: what is a childhood dream you had that now seems unrealistic? -

There were a few dreams I had as a kid, teacher, missionary, owner of one of those places that help lgbt teens get away from bad homes, lately it was marine biologist

A career in things like marine biology and teacher would be to tough for me to complete, as you need to know a lot about math and bio which have been some of the absolute worst subjects for me in college, but I recently found out that you can teach English in other countries if you have a bachelors degree and you don’t need all that pesky boring math stuff so I might still be able to fulfill that role of teacher I’ve always wanted, I really enjoy spending time with kids so I think it would be nice (and maybe one day I can volunteer at an aquarium)

The house for lgbt people and missionary stuff I just don’t feel called to anymore, and honestly I don’t like being a leader of much of anything so I probably just wasn’t to much cut out for it despite my wanting to help

The funny thing is I ended up going with cyber security because I wanted to do something in tech after playing minecraft for so many years with friends, because I loved the command system and thought programming would be the right thing, but you get more money in security so I went with that instead, so one childish dream complete?

I guess now besides finishing my degree, teaching English in Korea, finding a good partner to spend my idealic life with is the next kind of ‘childish’ dream I have

Thank you 🙏💙🖤💙 I hope you have a really good day today 😊

[desertdragon]

Another topic I take seriously and have issue with as a supplemental to my last hc post (see tag) is the subject of Vaste's mental state and development regarding romance and sexuality

I said last year after finishing Shadowbringers that I was fine with G'raha Tia and his portrayal, however after this long stewing over it and thinking and rethinking and talking to friends and acquaintances about it, I've made a heel turn compounded by SE's history of signaling and emphasizing Male important npcs pivotal to the plot for romance often and in greater consistency (within context of actual expansions/MSQ, materials outside the game itself are not counted) than any other gender that frankly feels sexist and non inclusive especially as someone LGBT

I mention him because he's a big part of the point I want to make but first, backtrack

Vaste is lesbian like I've illustrated up and down before but it played a role in making her feel pushed to choose to leave her family, I mentioned last post that most of that decision was built on a desire to finally assert free will and control over her future over a regimented predetermined one,

part of this regimentation would've been compulsed heterosexuality and a social "duty" to be on the receiving end of men's whims be they attention or sexual encounters- realizing she's lesbian as she grew older felt like something was inherently Wrong with her and she'd be a failure at contributing to procreating, so sort of a standard situation LGBT people and characters are found in but I digress, it felt appropriate due to the entire concept the Sun Seekers are built on

Becoming open to explore and define what her sexuality means for her after this would of course be messy and awkward since she's so stunted in that regard and has largely had only her fantasies and passing crushes she suppressed along with the rest of her emotions as was her tribe standard, she honestly gets lucky with Yugiri because before that was a lot of Yearning and getting all awkward around pretty girls and ideation of relationships

Meeting Yugiri and the journey to understand her defined the point of Vaste being humbled down to reality when it comes to love, loving and being affectionate because you love someone for who they are and Not for the fantasies you project onto them and expect to force them to follow for your happiness

I will say part of this is her own ability to recognize how little people care to understand Her that combined with Yugiri's grounded (mostly) personality shakes her into not wanting to inflict that same misery on others, and that love is not about submission and bending to one higher than the other, that's slavery and abuse, but about compromise, care, trust, and communication that never infringes on the dignity and rights of either

She grows confident and secure in her sexuality and acknowledging it as Normal for her and she's not somehow born wrong because she is this way, and this further translates into romantic maturity and maturity in general regarding firmness in her beliefs and power to make her own decisions

Which all leads into the G'raha situation and how he honestly feels really fuckin creepy

I redid the Crystal Tower quests again on my alt for Gan recently since it had been a while after a did it as Vaste and like, a Lot of his dialogue is bratty and him wanting to assert His way of thinking and solutions and needing to get a last word in for so many things- that and like he first "meets" the player by stalking them so he can give them a hard time and manipulate their emotions and expectations and putting them in a situation of feeling socially unsafe including the possibility that this stranger at this point might finally lie and lead you to a trap

Then when you meet face to face he's so haughty about what he did and no apology feels sincere, especially when Remmbroes had to chastise G'raha into not being fucking rude and it's treated as in one ear out the other, he rubs me completely the wrong way, # 1

# 2 During the events of Shadowbringers his entire oath to secrecy about how exactly he was going to "save" the player is so childish and petty for no reason really other than what felt like making himself feel important, for boosting his ego, because real adults would instead sit and talk about the situation of him wanting to kill himself and hypothetically undo his mistakes, like that's not something to be like "Uhhhhh They Wouldn't Understand, Nobody Understands" which is what I expect of a child trying to be cool by rebelling, not a man who emphasizes his decades alive and the "wisdom" it's given him; he doesn’t act as if he trusts the WoL to have autonomy but instead that they need his “protection” and can’t handle hard conversations, which is a real abuse tactic designed as part of taking identity and individuality from a victim so they are reliant on their abuser 

I want to make clear the fact that he has desires and attraction to the WoL (even if the way he handles it is immature Ideation) is Not why I take issue with this next part, I don't give a shit if npcs express interest, the problem is the game itself does Not allow me to choose to tell him no in his fantasies and wants for the both of you, I am Never allowed to intervene and make a choice to say "Well I'm sorry but I'm not interested and this makes me uncomfortable" even in a polite way; it treats his attitude as correct and cute and never gives him consequences for it

The game's writing insists and assumes my character Will have attraction to Men and therefore the attention I'm receiving is a So Romantic Why Would You Turn It Down? kind of thing

the game makes no effort to acknowledge WLW (lesbians, bisexual, pan etc. women, anyone identifying as a woman with an attraction to women) for a sexist, homophobic, mysoginist railroad of You Will Accept A Man's Attention and putting MLM higher than WLW because the belief seems to be at least MLM are still Men, the "more accepted" gender when it comes to LGBT media in the public eye, whereas all women are socially supposed to be available to men, get married, look pretty to social standards, and bear children, and god forbid a woman wants to be with another woman, then society says they can only be hypersexualized for the fantasies of Men or they're predators

G'raha is one prominent symbol of this attitude for Shadowbringers bar none, he is at the core in the role of a man with power and authority holding that over people to "persuade" and manipulate others into what He wants, in this case including the fact of keeping his suicide plan (and discussing the moral quandary of him being dead being a Fix It button) secret in favor of sending the WoL into danger over and over to do stuff he says you should- while having the nerve to insist he cares for you and Assuming you will take him anywhere with you once everything is over

 He doesn't care to work out the details and consider the WoLs exact feelings on this very forward assumption and instead speaks of it as set in stone, he pretends to be humble about it in his tone but his words give it away, what the WoL actually wants doesn't matter in the face of His fantasies

In light of this quite frankly the only appropriate response Vaste can have is anger and disgust, she does not like him, she hates his guts, and would have no problem insulting and ripping his ego a new asshole, she despises what she sees as a pathetic, egocentric excuse of a creature that has the gall to say It knows what's best for her and them both, he makes her feel unsafe

This is a general trend throughout all of FFXIV when it comes to major npcs being clearly telegraphed to the player as romantic interests; women and nonbinary people are silenced by the bulk of attention and detail poured into the available men’s storylines and development 

I say fuck that, Vaste will be loudly homosexual and listen and be considerate in a healthy relationship with Yugiri even during difficult moments, I will not tolerate any alternative, especially not one where I’m expected to pretend who and what my character is doesn’t exist, she is loyal, caring, silly, serious, and present for the woman she loves and confident in this fact

[lexosaurus]

Do you ever feel lonely being asexual? I feel like none of my friends understand what it's like and it's so isolating and terrifying and I feel do broken. Have you ever felt this way? How do you handle it? Sorry if this is too personal.

Hey anon! I hope you’re okay! I also hope you’re ready for a long post because that’s what this turned out to be!

Firstly, you are NOT alone. I think every ace feels this way at somepoint or another. It’s super common, especially since there really aren’t many out-aces, there’s virtually no actually helpful resources out there for aces, and most people legit have never heard of asexuality or believe it to be something that can be cured either through sexual acts or medication. The fact of the matter is, that being asexual is very much an isolating experience and it can be really really hard to become comfortable with.

For me, I grew up in a conservative town in a liberal state. So while no one was outwardly aggressive towards lgbt people which gave me a false sense of security, coming out was ROUGH. I lost all of my friends to the point where in highschool I wasn’t allowed in a party that everyone else in my grade went to, I got in a massive fight with my mom and ended up having to move out for a few weeks (don’t worry, we’re super close now), and I ended up going back in the closet which only ended up with me being coerced into having sex a bunch until I finally reached my breaking point. I realized I had to figure this out or I was gonna lose it.

Moving away from that environment was probably one of the main ways that I was able to start feeling okay. I moved to a nearby city, dropped all my old friends, made new ones, joined new activities, etc etc. I made sure my new friends knew I was ace pretty much right away, but I didn’t really talk about it past the casual, “Yeah, I’m asexual. I’ll date anyone but I won’t have sex with anyone. It hurts my body and I don’t like it.” and then that was it. I mean, I answered the inevitable questions that followed as if no, they weren’t dumb questions or invasive, even if maybe deep down I thought they were. But other than that it was just a casual mention, made sure they were chill with it, and then moved on.

And knowing that my friends were totally 100% okay with me being ace was like the best thing ever. They don’t UNDERSTAND being asexual on a deep level, (not even now after 3 years of living together), but I don’t understand how their sexualities function on that deep level either. It’s a two way street. And sometimes with people I’ll even ask them, “Okay but how do you KNOW that you like like someone like that?” and then they’ll have to take a step back and be like, “Oh shit, I guess it’s just innate. Oh damn I’ve never thought about this. Huh. Wtf.” You know, just showing curiosity in their feelings and showing that it’s okay to ask “obvious” questions really does a lot.

But tbh, my friends and I now will talk music or memes way before we’ll talk lgbt stuff. And half my friends are lgbt too. I just chose new friends who I connected and related to on deep levels that had nothing to do with sexuality at all.

The second big thing I did, and this is gonna sound counter-productive, was I unfollowed every ace-centered blog on Tumblr. No joke. I went through my followers and unfollowed EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I found that a lot of ace blogs, even ace-positive blogs, made me feel good for a second when I saw those ace-positive posts, but in the long run they ended up being really detrimental. Thinking about asexuality like something that needs constant validation is not healthy, no matter how positively it’s presented.

I was in a place where being asexual wasn’t normal in my head and I needed to normalize it, not validate it. Because validating asexuality comes AFTER normalizing it, not the other way around. So I needed to not constantly think about it or read about it or see it all the time. I needed to just watch it casually in modern media (aka watch Bojack Horseman and Saiki K on Netflix), talk about it with REAL PEOPLE irl in casual conversation occasionally, and just in general start looking at it like something as normal and mundane as my brown hair or dark eyes. Asexuality isn’t special, it’s not cool, it’s not sad either, it’s just another normal thing that contributes to me as a person.

So now when a follower reblogs an ace-positive post, I feel good. Like truly good. Not that fleeting good that will disappear in 30 secs and remind me that “oh yeah, there are a lot of people out there that hate aces.” I just get an occasional reminder that, “Oh yeah! I’m ace! Nice! I’m dope af!” 

But being asexual isn’t like in my “top 5 qualities” list. I don’t write my bios and put my asexuality at the top of my “about me.” In fact, I don’t even think i wrote that im asexual in my about me on tumblr lol. It’s not that I don’t like asexuality, it’s just so normal to me I’m just kinda like “oh yeah im ace. i have dark eyes. and 10 fingers. surprise! Okay now back to the good stuff…”

Also, a bit of a sidetrack, but that “everyone’s valid” culture on tumblr is actually super toxic and not good. And so getting away from that is v helpful to your mental health.

The last thing that I did that helped me a lot was actually a bit of a coincidence but I met a girl irl who was my coworker who happened to be asexual too. We worked together for like a year, we totally vibed and started hanging out together a ton, and then one day out of the blue she was like “yeah I’m pretty sure I’m ace too.” It was super dope and just having that one person that I could relate to like that who I also truly enjoyed hanging out with was like a breath of fresh air.

Finding a fellow ace irl that you vibe with can be tough. She wasn’t the first ace that I’d met, but I tend to be a rather blunt person and the previous aces I’d met were all through my school’s lgbt club and they tended to be,,,sensitive,,,(told me i was ableist because I talk loudly and my loud voice was insensitive to their sensory disorders like bitch i’ve got hearing problems i can’t solve but you CAN buy earplugs so lol thank u next byeee),,,BUT I DIGRESS, chill aces are hard to find but finding that one person is so nice. But I should say I was pretty much comfortable with being ace at that point. That was kind of the cherry on top. So if this isn’t available to you, which it doesn’t sound like it is, that’s okay. There are other things you can do in the meantime.

Also, I do have to add that much of the phandom happens to be asexual. Idk how that happened but it did.  So if you ever wanna talk ace-things, I’m sure so many people on here would be DOWN to talk ace stuff. I’ve done it before, it’s fun. They’re all rlly nice.

So yeah that was pretty much how I got from a place where I was so defeated about being ace from pretty much everyone around me to now I’m totally comfortable and normal with it to the point where I have turned several homophobes into lgbt-supporters because “fuck, Lexx is so chill and we vibe so hard but she’s lgbt??? i really like her as a person but she’s bi and ace??? hhhhhh,..,,,,i guess lgbt people are cool idk man ya wow ok.” (Legit one of these homophobes sent me screenshots a few months back where some kid was calling me a slur like on instagram or something and he was like “What, you mad cuz she won’t sleep with you? Get a life.” it was sweet 😊)

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

*slides in* Hey there, love! I do believe you mentioned something about Poly ML heroes when last we spoke. Care to elaborate on a delicious concept? *vanishes on the wind*

Originally just random headcanons, but nooo. Someone has to feed me ideas and then prompt me into doing a twitter fic! Also, I don’t know twitter, and Loud!Paris is a magazine I made up.

SuperWatch @superherowatch

Rena Rouge and Carapace confirmed as a couple! Interview on… #superheroes #romance #RenaRouge #Carapace

         MissPopular @tiffanyjohnson

          Hey!!! That’s super cool! We have confirmed superhero pairing!!!

          IAmTheWalrus @walrus

          Yeah! I mean we all thought LadyNoir was real but hey- just as epic!

           Keith @keithrichards

          They keep making comments about being down for dating the others though. And joking about how hot people are. That’s sketchy.

          MissPopular @tiffanyjohnson

          Not really? I mean they’re probably just joking. I joke with my boyfriend like that all the time- we aren’t serious about it.

SuperWatch @superherowatch

Rena Rouge and Carapace have been accused of lying of their relationship or not taking it seriously… and then Queen Bee steps in. YouTube… #superheroes #romance #RenaRouge #Carapace #QueenBee

           MissPopular @tiffanyjohnson

            Holy crap!!! Did she just kiss Rena? And talk about being Poly?!?

            Keith @keithrichards

            Okay- that is taking it way to far. @ladybug, @kittycatnoir- you’ve gotta take away their Miraculous. They’re being utter perverts!!

             KeepParisSafe @keepparissafe

              I agree! This is a disgusting display of immorality and needs to be stopped!!

              MissPopular @tiffanyjohnson

              You’re the disgusting ones! Love is love you asses! Go tell the mayor to his face what you think if you’re going to whine on Twitter!

LadybugOffical @ladybug

Hey guys, just want to say that as a bisexual and polyromantic woman I support my teammates. Here’s the interview I did for the Ladyblog concerning this. #LGBT #comingout

KeepParisSafe @keepparissafe

Here’s a petition to force the so called heroes we have into giving up their powers so decent and family friendly heroes can take their place. #keepparissafe #banperversion

Ladyblog @alyathereporter

Hey Ladybloggers! I’ve got a hot scoop from a rather interesting source on the drama occurring in the media right now surrounding our heroes! Ladyblog… #ladybug #ladyblog #here’sthescoop

      HufflepuffisMe @harrypotternerd123

       Hey, can we get a transcript for the deaf bloggers?

      Ladyblog @alyathereporter

      Of course!!! Sorry for any inconvenience! …

     Miss Popular @tiffanyjohnson

     Favourite part of this:

     JT: I don’t understand why it’s such a fuss. The Seven Main Stones- as there are many other Miraculous Stones and you may see them occasionally- all tend to have a very close relationship. I was involved in such a relationship when I was in a group much closer to my age. Others were to- certainly it’s not always. We once had a full team of siblings- but it’s often enough we just don’t care.

      A: And your age…

     JT: I just don’t care. Let them be kids. Let them date, who cares. #olddudespeakswisdom #JadTurtleStan

MayorOfParis @andrebourgeois

My official statement for this entire thing is that I stand behind my daughter and proudly support her and her friends and fellow heroes. #themayor #LGBTProudparent

Queen Bee @chloebourgeois

I am not dating Rena or Carapace. I kissed Rena to prove a point. #goodkisser #notdating #stop asking

Loud!Paris @loudparis

Hello everyone, we’ve got a scoop! Our only known hero Queen Bee was seen kissing the creator of the Ladyblog Alya Césaire while a boy was holding her hand!!! #LGBT #dating

Ladyblog @alyathereporter

Official statement: yes. I am dating Chloe and my boyfriend Nino. All three of us are dating. #LGBT #notladybugstuff

     Ladybug#1Fan @kittykitykitty

     No wonder you get all the scoops then! This is blatant favouritism!!

     MissPopular @tiffanyjohnson

    She gets all the scoops because she’s a good reporter? Your blog literally steals from them all? And I don’t think she was dating Chloe earlier?!

SuperWatch @superherowatch

This in- Ladybug and Chat Noir caught kissing on the Effile Tower! #superheroes #Ladybug #ChatNoir #romance

    MissPopular @tiffanyjohnson

    IT’S CANON MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

      Keith @keithrichards

     Given how immoral Ladybug is, I say Chat should dump her right away.

     Chat Noir @kittychatnoir

     Given I’m Pan and Poly… no.

     MissPopular @tiffanyjohnson

     BURN.

Loud!Paris @loudparis

Chloe and her girlfriend, Alya Césaire, and their boyfriend, Nino Lahiffe, caught out with Model Adrien Agreste and a pigtailed girl- and Adrien was holding hands with Nino!!! #LGBT #cute

Gabriel @gabrielagreste

I support my son in any way possible. Here is a release of Pride-related merchandise that I have been planning since he came out to me. Some of it designed by his girlfriend Marinette Dupain-Cheng. #LGBT #LGBTProudParent

     Adrien’s Wife @iloveadrienagreste

     SHE’S TOTALLY USING HIM! THEY ALL ARE! HE DESERVES BETTER.

    Ladyblog @alyathereporter

    How? Where’s your proof?

Mrs. Agreste @superpowahgirlisme

Wow, I just did some Google-Fu on the people Adrien is dating and… it’s honestly super impressive? #theseguysarecool #gothem

1- Alya is the runner of the Ladyblog which is #1 for news on Ladybug and has amazing footage- even before she started dating Queen Bee.

2- Nino won multiple DJ competitions and even has filmed small movies?!? Also the guy apparently got Akumatized cause Adrien wasn’t getting a party for his birthday so props!

3- Chloe is the mayor’s kid. And a superhero

4- Marinette is the girl who designed Jagged Stine’s glasses and his album cover. And she’s won a bunch of competitions!!!

           Adrien’s Wife @iloveadrienagreste

          THEY ARE USING HIM.

          Mrs. Agreste @superpowahgirlisme

          Given that only Marinette is like the girl who is in the fashion industry and she’s already attracted big names… ha.

Loud!Paris @loudparis

Interview with the poly couple everyone’s talking about! #polycouple #PolyLychee

DJ MIx @ninolahiffe

Apparently #PolyLychee is trending. Is it bad to want to put out some mixes I made for sale?

          Adrien’s Wife @iloveadrienagreste

         DO IT! I’d buy!!!

         KeepParisSafe @keepparissafe

         No one should buy anything from a perverted source! #BoycottDjMIx

         Adrien’s Wife @iloveadrienagreste

         Yeah- no one cares.

Loud!Paris @loudparis

Apparently there may be drama in #PolyLychee? Marinette seen with strange man! #istheredrama

Sewing Queen @risesfrombread

To all those who are asking- that’s Luka. He’s the older brother of a friend of ours… and another boyfriend. He WAS trying to keep it quiet cause he wanted to be a great musician without saying he had a leg up. Thanks a lot @loudparis

Loud!Paris @loudparis

Jagged Stone comes out with a new hit single dedicated to his sunglasses designer and friend, Marinette Dupain-Cheng and her poly relationship! As well… he comes out of the closet! #LGBT #PolyLychee #JaggedComingOut

Loud!Paris @loudparis

Another girlfriend?! Kagami Tsurugi seen with the poly relationship holding hands with Adrien Agreste!! #PolyLychee #LGBT #another

ModelMagic @adrienagreste

You know… @loudparis should shut up about the relationship we have if they keep outing our girlfriends and boyfriends. #PolyLychee #stopit

SuperWatch @superherowatch

HAWKMOTH REVEALED! Gabriel Agreste has been revealed to be Hawkmoth, with his assistant Nathalie Sancoeur being in cahoots! #Hawkmoth #HawkmothRevealed

LadybugOffical @ladybug

Please do not ask @adrienagreste any questions or disturb him. We have cleared his name and ask that he received privacy while we handle this.

SuperWatch @superherowatch

Hawkmoth has received 25 years in jail! His accomplice recieved 20! Also, new heroes on the block? The Butterfly and Peacock are in new hands! #hawkmoth #newheroes?

Loud!Paris @loudparis

This just in…. SUPERHEROES UNMASKED!! #whoisit #superheroes

 MissPopular @tiffanyjohnson

…We should have fucking known. #PolyLychee is now #PolyHeroes

Headcanons

-As you can tell, it started with Alya and Nino and rolled from there. Chloe saved them, they started hanging around her and then suddenly… all three were dating and oh, cool.

-Adrien and Marinette kinda joined after coming out as Poly as Chat and Ladybug to their teammates. They started as the heroes, couldn’t take the guilt and then… boom.

-Their families were 100% supportive and Gabriel like had the Gorilla look out for all of them. The Gorilla becomes a fan favourite cause he’s awesome and he protects them all. He has physically removed fans and haters.

-Gabriel has akumatized a LGBT member who went after homophobes and just humiliated them. The Heroes may not have bothered trying to help for a while.

-Luka joined the poly when he started hanging out with Marinette and Adrien more. He liked them all it just… happened. They did want to keep it quiet. Thanks Loud.

-Kagami was similar.

-Hawkmoth revealed, they all ended up staying in Adrien’s mansion and kind of doing a reveal to their families. No one was against it after that.

-Luka got Nooro while Kagami got the Peacock. They’re very happy together.

-They all got to keep their Miraculous and Master Fu peacefully passed not long after. They all attended his funeral- in full uniform.

-It was after that they did a giant reveal to Paris so they could properly mourn him and keep the police off Adrien’s back.

-In the end… they all become super famous and awesome. Nino become a famous DJ, Alya is a reporter who still runs the Ladyblog and other stuff, Chloe is terrifying as a businesswoman, Luka is a famous musician, Kagami is a champion fencer, Marinette is a designer and Adrien is a physics teacher.

-The Gorilla sticks with them and becomes head of security. He’s still a fan favourite- more so after he got a dog.

-The only thing that tops the Gorilla getting a dog, is the PolyHeroes having kids. Alya and Marinette got pregnant first and then Kagami and Chloe went: Shit, why not.