#after i finally get some sleep and reread this and cringe

[sonlikesleep]

in an insomnia induced 4am boredom i made a mistake of watching a fresh-out-of-the-oven video on ticsandroses. it went exactly as i imagined it would, total waste of time and braincells, fakeclaimers suck, i wrote an essay in the comment (i was very very bored and also very pissed of by this completely unnecessary think piece and the comments underneath it:) )

and just so this post is a little bit more fun, here's a little gif i made a looong time ago about how i experience some tics

[mattsobvimyfav]

roommates (matthew sturniolo)

pt 17 -

I woke up to a splitting headache and the faint light of the morning streaming through the curtains. My mouth was dry, my head pounding, and my stomach churned slightly from last night’s drinks. Groaning, I reached out to my bedside table and grabbed my phone, squinting at the screen.

The first thing I noticed was the barrage of notifications from Chris.

Chris: Whate the fuck y/n?

Chris: What you already find someone new.

Chris: Let me guess. Matt?

Chris: Your such a bitch.

Chris: When you wake up, come to my room.

I cringed, my thumb hovering over our conversation. I didn��t even remember what I’d sent him. My anxiety spiked as I scrolled up, of course my dumb drunk self texted him.

“Jesus,” I whispered to myself, dropping the phone onto my chest.

As I shifted in bed, my gaze flickered across the room to Matt. He was sprawled out on his bed, the blanket half hanging off his body, his chest rising and falling peacefully. For someone who was such a fucking dick, he looked completely unbothered.

I rolled my eyes, the memory of him in that stupid ghost face costume resurfacing. My head hurt too much to even unpack my feelings about that yet.

I turned back to my phone, rereading Chris’s last message: When you wake up, come to my room.

Sliding out of bed as quietly as I could, I grabbed some clothes and tiptoed to the bathroom. The last thing I wanted was to deal with Matt right now. After throwing on a pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie, I ran a brush through my hair and tied it back into a messy bun.

My reflection in the mirror screamed hungover mess, but I didn’t have the energy to do much about it. Satisfied enough, I slipped out of the dorm room, leaving Matt to his peaceful sleep.

My heart was racing as I made my way to Chris’s room. What did he want to talk about? What could he possibly say? And more importantly, why had I texted him?

Chris opened the door, his expression tense but composed. He stepped aside silently, letting me in without a word. I hesitated before walking into his dorm room, unsure how this conversation was going to go.

The door clicked shut behind me, and I turned to face him. He leaned against his desk, arms crossed, watching me carefully.

“You wanted to talk,” I said, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah,” he replied. “We need to clear the air, Y/N.”

I nodded and sat on the edge of his bed, my hands fidgeting in my lap. “Okay. So talk.”

Chris let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair. “What’s going on with you and Matt?” he asked, his tone firm.

My stomach sank at the question. I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. “Chris, I…I don’t know, Nothing has happened between me and Matt since we started whatever we had” I admitted, 

Chris tilted his head, his jaw tightening. “You don’t know,” he repeated, the words heavy with frustration and hurt.

I looked down, unable to meet his gaze. “No, I don’t,” I said quietly. “I liked you. I really did. But then I found out about you and that volleyball girl, and it just…killed whatever feelings I had.”

Chris took a step closer, his hands dropping to his sides. “I’m sorry for what I did,” he said, his voice softer now. “I was an idiot. I shouldn’t have been with her while I was with you. But, Y/N, let’s not pretend this was something it wasn’t.”

I frowned, finally looking up at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I knew I was just a placeholder,” Chris said bluntly, though his voice wasn’t unkind. “I knew you had something for Matt, even if you didn't know it ,and I knew I was just…the guy you picked to distract yourself. And I let it happen because I liked you enough to take what I could get.”

“That’s not fair,” I said defensively, 

“It’s the truth,” he said, his eyes locked on mine. “I wanted you to pick me, Y/N. I wanted you to choose me. But you never did. You were never all in.”

I felt tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. “Neither were you Chris,” I whispered.

“I know,” Chris said, his voice soft but firm. 

The room fell silent, his words hanging heavy in the air. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, the weight of his honesty pressing down on me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice breaking.

“I know,” Chris replied. “But this isn’t about me forgiving you. It’s about you figuring out what you want.”

I nodded, tears spilling down my cheeks. “I don’t know what I want,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Then figure it out,” Chris said gently but firmly. “For your sake, not mine or his.”

I stood up, wiping my tears away. “Thank you,” I said, though I wasn’t entirely sure what I was thanking him for.

Chris gave me a small, sad smile. “You don’t owe me anything, Y/N. Just…be honest with yourself.”

I nodded and walked to the door, before I could leave he pulled me back into a tight hug and just like times before I melted into his touch. I let go first and he did after, I turned towards the door walking out. As I stepped into the hallway, I realized I wasn’t just confused about my feelings. I was confused about everything.

When I got back to my dorm room, the door creaked as I pushed it open. Matt was awake, sitting up in bed with his phone in hand. His head turned toward me immediately, his brows furrowing as he noticed my puffy eyes and tear-streaked face.

“You’ve been crying,” he said bluntly, his voice softer than usual.

I hesitated for a moment, caught off guard by the concern in his tone. “It’s nothing,” I said quickly, setting my bag down by the door. “I’m fine.”

Matt tilted his head, clearly not believing me, but he didn’t push. Instead, he shifted the conversation entirely. “Hey, I, uh…need help with statistics again,” he said, his voice casual but deliberate. “The last quiz was brutal, and I’m not trying to bomb this next one.”

I blinked at him, surprised by the sudden change in topic. For a moment, I thought about brushing him off, but something about his effort to distract me felt comforting.

“Sure,” I said after a beat, slipping my shoes off. “Let me grab my laptop.”

I sat on the couch while he grabbed his stuff sitting with me, his notebook and textbook already open. The tension in the room began to ease as we dove into the material, going over formulas and sample problems.

“Wait, wait,” Matt interrupted after I walked him through a particularly tricky problem. “How the fuck did you get that answer?”

I laughed lightly, “You didn’t follow what I just said?”

“Not even a little,” he admitted with a smirk, running a hand through his hair.

I shook my head, leaning over his notebook to point out the steps again. “Okay, look. You have to do this part first, or you’re going to mess up the whole equation.”

He watched me closely, nodding as I broke it down for him again. “You make this look so easy,” he muttered, scribbling notes in the margins.

“Maybe because it is easy,” I teased, my lips curving into a faint smile.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, rolling his eyes but smiling back. “You’re a genius, and I’m just a dumbass. Got it.”

We worked through a few more problems, the atmosphere between us becoming lighter with each passing minute. 

“Thanks for helping me,” Matt said after we finished the last problem. 

“Anytime,” I replied, meeting his eyes briefly.

After finishing up the statistics work, Matt closed his notebook and leaned back on the couch,

“So, our YouTube channel is doing really well,” he said, almost casually.

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

“We just hit 50,000 subscribers,” he said, so casually.

“Fifty thousand?” I repeated, impressed. “Why didn’t you tell me you guys were that big?”

Matt shrugged, looking a little sheepish. “I don’t know, it never came up.”

“That’s cool,” I said, genuinely intrigued. “What kind of videos do you guys make?”

“Mostly random stuff. challenges, Q&As, vlogs. Just us being us,” he explained.

“I want to see,” I said, leaning forward with excitement.

Matt grabbed his laptop from the coffee table and opened it up. After a few clicks, he pulled up their channel, which proudly displayed a banner with their name: Sturniolo Triplets. The thumbnails were vibrant and fun, featuring the three of them pulling goofy faces or posing mid-chaos.

“Here,” Matt said, clicking on a video titled ‘Matt bakes blindfolded!!’

As the video started, I couldn’t help but laugh. The energy between the three of them was infectious.

“You guys are hilarious,” I said, laughing.

“Thanks,” Matt said, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “It’s a lot of fun, honestly. We just mess around and somehow people like it.”

We watched a few more videos, each one funnier than the last. There was one where they attempted to chug challenge, which ended in chaos, and another where they tried not to laugh at each other’s ridiculous jokes.

By the time we finished, I was grinning ear to ear. “You guys are naturals,” I said. “I get why people love you. This is awesome, Matt.”

His face lit up at my reaction. “I’m glad you think so. Maybe one day we’ll hit a million subscribers, and we’ll all quit school to be full-time YouTubers.”

I laughed. “Well, when that happens, don’t forget about me.”

“I could never,” Matt said, his eyes meeting mine.

I stood up from the couch, stretching a little. “I’m starving,” I said, 

He glanced up from his laptop, shrugging. “Wanna go get something?”

I blinked at him, slightly taken aback. “What’s going on with you?”

Matt leaned back, crossing his arms, his expression shifting in an instant. “What the fuck are you talking about”

“I mean,” I said carefully, “you’re not being a total asshole for once. Did I miss something?”

He scoffed, his eyes narrowing. “You know what? Forget it. I don’t know why I even bothered trying to act normal with you.”

“Matt—”

“No, seriously,” he snapped, standing up abruptly. “Just…fuck off, alright? Go get food by yourself.”

I stared at him, my stomach twisting in frustration and confusion. “Wow. And here I thought maybe we were making fucking progress. Guess I was wrong.”

“Yeah, you were,” he muttered, sitting back down and turning his attention to his laptop like I wasn’t even there.

After storming out of the dorm, I sent a quick text to Charlie. 

“You hungry? Let’s get out of here.” 

She responded almost immediately. “Starving. Pick you up in ten?”

By the time she pulled up, I was already waiting outside. I hopped into the passenger seat, letting out a heavy sigh. “Denny’s?” she suggested.

“Breakfast for dinner? Absolutely,” I agreed.

At the diner, we ordered a ridiculous spread: pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, while Charlie went all out with a breakfast sampler. Between bites, she gave me her usual no-nonsense advice.

“You’re letting Matt take up too much space in your head,” she said, pointing her fork at me.

I rolled my eyes. “He’s impossible to figure out. One second he’s nice, the next he’s—”

“An asshole. Yeah, that sounds about right.”

We laughed, By the time we left Denny’s, It was time to get ready for the last night of halloweekend.

Back at Charlie’s dorm, we dove into Halloween prep. I pulled out my Raven costume: a deep purple cloak, a black body suit that stopped showing off my hipbones, and thigh-high boots. I added the signature red gems around my waist and painted my top lop black. Charlie, on the other hand, transformed into Belle, her golden dress flowing and stopping right at the bottom of her butt perfectly as she spun around dramatically.

“Okay, but why do you look hot as Belle?” I teased, adjusting the clasp of my waist.

“Because I am hot, thank you very much,” she retorted with a wink. 

I laughed, but inside I was thrilled with how the costume turned out.

We grabbed our phones and started our trek to the hockey house, Red and orange lights bathed the room, casting eerie shadows that matched the Halloween theme. Charlie and I grabbed drinks and made our way through the crowd, going to sit on the couch I am all too familiar with.

Charlie nudged me. “We look fucking amazing.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Fuck yeah we do.”

I was sitting with Charlie, both of us taking in the scene, when the door swung open, and in walked Matt and Chris.

Matt was dressed as Batman, complete with the black paint smeared around his eyes. His costume was spot-on, Chris followed closely behind, grinning in his Joker costume, his hair slicked back with green dye. They moved together, like they always did, a duo that didn’t need anyone else. They made their way straight to the kitchen, ignoring the crowd around them.

I didn’t want to be watching them. I didn’t want to care, but I couldn’t help it. Charlie noticed where my gaze was fixed and nudged me. “Don’t get worked up,” she warned quietly.

I ignored her and kept my eyes on them as they mingled for a while, talking and laughing. Then, to my dismay, they made their way back into the living room, a girl on each of their laps. I recognized the girl on Chris’ lap almost instantly—Katie. The same Katie he’d been fucking behind my back. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

I could feel the blood rush to my face, my hands clenched into fists by my sides. Charlie must’ve seen the change in my demeanor because she grabbed my wrist. “Y/N, don’t—”

But it was too late. My mouth was already moving before I could stop it. “So this is the whore you were sleeping with?” I scoffed loudly, the words leaving my lips before I could even think. “Not impressive.”

Charlie’s eyes went wide, and she quickly stepped in front of me, trying to calm me down. “Y/N, don’t,” she warned again, but it was too late. The damage was already done.

Chris and Matt both glanced up, their expressions surprised, but Katie’s face was full of anger as she glared at me. The tension in the room was palpable.

Matt’s expression hardened, and he turned to look at me. “What are you doing?” he snapped, his voice low.

Katie, still perched on Chris’ lap, shot me a smug look. “Maybe you should mind your business, bitch,” she muttered, rolling her eyes.

The anger inside me was boiling over, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. My heart was pounding in my chest, my hands shaking with rage as I stood there, glaring at both of them.

“Mind my business?!” I spat, taking a step toward the couch where Matt and Chris sat, their smug expressions only making my blood pressure rise. “You’re the slut who was fucking my guy. Whats even worst is its not like we were a secret. You were perfectly fine being a side piece” I snapped, my voice rising. I turned to Chris “You knew exactly what you were doing, sneaking around with her behind my back. And you,” I turned to Matt, pointing at him, “you knew what was going on between us! Don’t act like you’re some innocent bystander in this whole mess. You sat behind the scene letting me get played”

The music almost drowned out by the tension. I could feel everyone watching, but I didn’t care anymore. I had to say what was on my mind.

Katie laughed condescendingly, clearly enjoying watching the drama unfold. “Oh, you’re so funny. It’s really fucking pathetic how bitter you are over this,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

I snapped. My whole body was tense with fury as I turned to face her. “Pathetic?” I seethed, stepping closer to her. “You’re the one who’s pathetic. You’re just a placeholder for what he really wanted.” I looked back to Chris “Isn't that right?”

“You know what? I’m done with both of you,” I added, looking directly at Chris and Matt. 

I spun on my heel, about to march out the door, but before I could make it, Katie stepped in front of me, smirking like she’d won some kind of battle. “Oh, look at you, acting big,” she sneered. “You’re just mad because Chris dumped you for someone who actually knows how to keep him entertained.” She looked me up and down

The words stung, but it was her tone that pushed me over the edge. I shoved her back with all my strength, but she came right back at me, shoving me hard.

Before I knew what was happening, my fist flew, and I connected with her mouth. She stumbled back, her hands flying to her lips in shock. The room was suddenly filled with chaos. People shouted in surprise, and Katie’s face twisted in fury as she lunged at me.

Charlie screamed, “Matt! Get her!” But it was too late—Katie and I were locked in a fight, tearing at each other, scratching, pulling at hair, and landing punches. The adrenaline coursed through me as my heart raced.

I could hear Charlie shouting, but nothing mattered. Not anymore.

Then, suddenly, someone grabbed me from behind, lifting me off the floor with ease. I kicked and struggled, but it was no use. I looked up to see Matt’s furious face, his arms strong as he threw me over his shoulder like a ragdoll.

“Matt, let me go!” I yelled, hitting his back with my fists, but he ignored me. He was livid.

“Stop it, Y/N,” he growled, his voice dark. He walked us out of the party and all the way back to our dorm, I tried arguing the entire time but it was no use. 

Once we were inside Matt threw me off his shoulder onto the couch. “You think you can just do whatever you want, huh? Go back and forth between me and Chris like it’s all some game? You have no right to act like this.”

“You don’t get to tell me how to act,” I shot back, my voice full of defiance. “I don’t owe either of you anything. You’ve both fucked up!”

Matt paced in front of me, fuming. “You seriously think you can just walk in and out of my life whenever you want? You have no idea what it’s like, Y/N. You treat me like shit, then come back like nothing happened, and then act surprised when I get pissed. You’ve been a mess the whole time. Don’t act like you have some high ground here.”

I didn’t know what to say, but I was too stubborn to back down. “You were a mess too,” I hissed, my voice trembling with frustration. “You don’t get to play the victim here. You’ve made things so much worse between us.”

Matt’s anger flared up again, and he leaned in closer. “You can’t just do what you want and expect me to keep waiting for you. It doesn’t work like that.” He was standing over me now, his voice dropping low. “I’m done with the back and forth. If you want this with me, then fine. But if you’re not gonna take me seriously, then stay the hell away from me.”

My lip quivered, but I forced the words out. “You told me I was the mistake Matt, Im so fucking confused on what you want from me-”

He threw his head back putting his hands on his face “I wanted you this entire time, You immediately got with Chris. I get it I said you were a mistake. I didn't want to fix feelings with this but clearly there's not much I can do. So make a choice now. What do you want?” He stopped staring at me. 

tag-

@ch0llies @namelesssav @christmastreecake

@chrisstopherfilmed @mattsturnii @sturnrc @larnieboox88

@tbfaptbfae @2muchofaslvt @sturnioloshottiekay

@rockstarchr1s @simply-a-simper @realuvrrr

[cowgurrrl]

Sleeping on the Blacktop

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: guys we did it i wrote smut i actually like (ps this was edited but also not reread because I’ve been trying to write it for five hours so if you see any mistakes no you didn’t)

Summary: The Land of No Return [4.7k]

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION, platonic expressions of love, the mortifying ordeal of being known, sexting, we finally get to know about reader's secret tattoos, smut, Joel the Menace makes his long awaited return with that dirty fucking mouth, mutual masturbation, phone sex (??(sure)), protected sex (no Miller babies for them) p in v stuff, June being indulgent with describing Joel Miller, anxiety, I think that's it??

Music floods the kitchen as you and Andie work on making the best "last supper but with women" possible. The lamps glow orange on the walls and create funny shadows when you dance together, pulling each other in and out to old jazzy tunes. You laugh when she throws a string of spaghetti at your fridge to test if it's ready a little too hard, and it splatters water everywhere. You, honestly, might be a little delirious. You're both in your pajamas, and you've been watching movies all day. You exchange what you remember from New Year's Eve and cringe at what the other fills in. You drink cheap wine from plastic cups and snack on chips as the food cooks. 

It feels like high school again, with all the girlish giggling and inside jokes you trade back and forth, except this time, instead of her going back to her house ten minutes up the road, she's going back to her apartment half the world away. No matter how long you get with her, it's never enough. Thousands of miles and different schedules will do that. Keeping long-distance friendships as an adult is just as hard, if not harder, than making new ones. 

When dinner is ready, you fix your plates and sit next to each other at your messy dining room table— the IKEA one she helped you build when Henry walked out with the first one— and eat. Paint stains the wood of the table, and half-finished works are scattered around the dining room, but you barely notice them as you talk. She tells you about the things waiting for her in Vienna: work, her cat, Oslo, and piano lessons. You don't have to pretend to be envious because you are. You have to go back to school and the Real World once you drop her off at the airport in the morning. You wish you could go with her. 

"Alright, c'mon. Spill it. What's going on with you and Joel?" She asks in between bites of garlic bread. You laugh and shake your head.

"There's nothing to tell."

"Bullshit. Tommy told me he saw you guys."

"Speaking of Tommy," you pivot. "What's going on there? You two seemed pretty chummy." You raise your eyebrows at her, and a big smile takes over her face. She takes another bite of food to buy herself some time, but there's no way you're letting her off the hook, especially after all her teasing about Joel.

"Nothing. We were just… talking." She finally says, and you give her a look. 

"Talking?"

"Yes. People talk. You should try it sometime."

"Was it talking like we are now or talking like Joel and I talked?" You hum, and she kicks her feet as she leans forward.

"So you and Joel did talk." 

"Well, we probably would've if somebody didn't come barging in."

"Goddammit, I told him to wait," she groans. "Sorry, girl."

"Yeah, me too," you say, and she laughs. You bump her knee and give her a look. "Alright, your turn. What's going on with Tommy?" 

"Nothing that could actually turn into anything." 

"Aw, c'mon. Don't count yourself out so early."

"It's not counting myself out. It's being realistic. I live in Vienna. He lives here. I'm not ready to come back to the States, and he seems content, so there's nothing that can happen," she shrugs. "It was a fling. A very nice fling, but a fling nevertheless." She seems a little too sad for it to have been just a fling. They exchanged numbers, and you've caught her texting him several times. She said she did kiss him on New Year's Eve (before she threw up), but they didn't go any further besides flirting the next morning. You watched them test each other at breakfast, and he seemed just as interested in her as she was in him. They'd be cute together. She sighs and pushes her pasta around in her bowl like a dejected character from a period piece.

"Tommy is very handsome." You comment, and she grabs your arm, animating all of a sudden. 

"Dude, I've been dying to talk about it. What the fuck are they putting in the water here? It's insane." 

"It's annoying, right?" 

"So annoying." She agrees. You laugh about it together and, finally, give her the details she's been waiting so patiently for. When you finish your story, her hands are over her mouth, and her eyes are wide. "Oh, my God. You have to get him back."

"I know, I know! He's driving me up a fucking wall." You say, taking a bite of food. It will get cold if you don't stop talking, but you also don't care. 

"You could surprise him with some lingerie or something." She suggests, and you groan. 

"God, I don't even remember the last time I bought lingerie."

"All the more reason to buy some." 

"I don't know. I feel like I could just show up naked, and he'd be happy with that."

"He sounds like a keeper then."

"Yeah, I don't know," you shrug. "I like him a lot. I just… don't know if it's sustainable."

"Why?" She asks. You almost want to gesture around your messy apartment and half-put together life as if it will answer her question.

"I mean, he's a good guy, and we're having fun, but for how long? His kid's gonna be in at least one of my classes until she graduates. Not to mention, he has another daughter who is in medical school. We both work full-time. And then there's the whole having to keep it a secret thing. It could get really old really fast." You sigh. 

"What if it doesn't?"

"What?"

"What if it doesn't get old? What if it ends up working out?" She asks. You take a deep breath. "You didn't even think about that possibility. Did you?"

"I just don't wanna get hurt."

"That's a very real possibility. Things could go wrong. He could break your heart. You could lose your job. Society as we know it could come crashing down, and you know what? The sun's still gonna come up the next day. The birds will still sing, and I will still be here," she says, putting her hand over yours. You purse your lips as you process her words. "You deserve nice things, kid. Don't count yourself out so early." She echoes your earlier sentiment, and you smile.

She's right. Of course, she's right. You don't let yourself think good things could happen because you're so focused on all the bad. She's known you for so long she can read your thoughts and know your habits before you can. What a horrifying and beautiful thing it is to be known inside and out like that. 

"Maybe you should've been a writer instead of a musician," you say, and she laughs. You squeeze her hand and sigh as you look at her. "I'm really gonna miss you."

"I'm really gonna miss you, too."

"I wish you could stay."

"I know," she says. "But you need an excuse to come to Vienna, and I need an excuse to come to Austin, and if I stay, we lose that."

"I guess that's true."

"Besides, if I stop making trans-Atlantic calls, I think my phone company would be concerned." She points out, making you laugh. You know she's telling you what she's told herself this whole time. She loves Vienna, but you know she gets homesick. You know she's trying really hard to convince herself to get back on that plane. You don't push her about staying again. You just indulge in her presence. 

"I love you." You say softly, and she smiles.

"I love you, too." She says. 

It means so much more than just "I love you." It means, "I love you, and I want us both to eat well." It means, "I love you, and I can't imagine doing this life without you." It means, "I love you, and I know you have to go." Never any buts. Always ands, because love like this knows no bounds. Not borders, not time zones, not lifestyles. 

You finish the dinner you made and clean the kitchen side by side before climbing into bed and staying up as late as possible to try and get Andie back on Vienna time. In the morning, you drag yourselves out of bed and sing in the car on the way to get coffee, and when the time comes for you to get her suitcase out of your backseat and watch her disappear behind glass doors, you hug her tight and tell her you love her again. She repeats the sentiment with another squeeze and deep breath that tells you how close to tears she is. Then, she turns around and doesn't look back to prove she's strong enough to leave. She doesn't need to prove anything to you. You always knew she was strong enough to do this.

The car ride back is emotional and lonely and tinged with the bass line of Ribs by Lorde, but your phone buzzes as you pull back into your apartment complex with tears staining your cheeks. 

Thanks for letting us meet Andie. She's a really sweet person. I'm sorry she has to leave today.

You don't remember telling him what day she was leaving, but she might've told Tommy, and Tommy told Joel. You smile and text him back. 

Thanks for taking care of us. She only had good things to say about you and Tommy. We'll have to all hang out again the next time she's home. 

And then.

Thanks for checking on me. I really appreciate it. 

Of course. I'm always a wreck when I have to drop Sarah off at the airport. I'm around if you wanna talk. Ellie's hanging out with some friends, and Tommy's on-site today.

You stare at the messages and debate your options. He basically just told you he's home alone and has nothing to do for the rest of the day. And yes, he is probably being sweet and really offering to talk if you're feeling lonely, but you also know how talking usually goes for you two. You smirk as you type out a message.

Just talk?

It seems like he can't type fast enough.

What else would you wanna do?

I think you made some promises you need to follow through on, Miller.

I guess I did. 

Come over and I can do just that.

Actually, I have some work to get done :( maybe next time?

You lock your phone and bound up to your apartment, conscious of the sudden lengthening of time between messages. It's fun to imagine him trying to come up with a response that respects your boundaries but also lets you know how needy he is. He may have started this little game, but you're gonna be the one to perfect it. Thus begins the days upon days of not sexting, but not not sexting. 

At first, it's just messages about how you miss him and wish he was around. He tries to find an excuse to come over, but you effectively cockblock him at every turn. Your response times get a little slower the more worked up he gets, so he has to figure it out on his own. You never would've thought Joel Miller, a man with gray in his beard and wrinkles lining his face, could be such a fast texter, but you figure there's nothing more desperate than a horny man. 

Messages quickly escalate to pictures. They start off innocent enough: a picture of the painting you're working on, but your bare legs give away the fact that you're not wearing pants, a picture of him stepping out of a hot shower, his bare chest slightly red and glistening from the water, a picture of you wearing the burnt orange shirt he sent you home in New Year's Day with no bra on underneath. Then, you get a little bolder. After a quick trip to the mall, you pose in front of the mirror in a short delicate white night down with pretty lace details on the top, the hem barely hitting the tops of your thighs and showing off the large tattoos hiding there. You look hot, and imagining Joel's reaction to you makes you flush and rub your thighs together to get some relief.

It's true that Joel would've been happy if you showed up to his house wearing (or not wearing) anything, but when the photo pings to his phone, he's never been more grateful for Victoria's Secret in his life. His breath hitches in his throat, and he quickly tucks his phone into his chest like someone is gonna come up behind him and see what he's looking at. He's barely glanced at the photo and he's already straining in his jeans. 

Goddamn, he texts back. You're so fucking pretty, baby.

You like it?

It's a dumb question, but you really don't care.

It's perfect.

What do you like about it?

Besides the fact that you're the one wearing it? I like that it makes you look like more of an angel than you already are, and I like that I can finally see those tattoos you've been hiding from me. 

Bingo, you think to yourself. He was able to catch glimpses of the large pieces hiding on your back and shoulders at the art gallery, and when he picked up on New Year's Eve, you caught him staring at them each time. You thought he was following the inky lines up your body, but you couldn't be sure. Now, he's giving himself away, and you're practically buzzing with excitement.

You turn around in the mirror and arch your back, perfectly showing off your ass and the intricate tattoo lining your spine, and snap a picture. It's one of the largest ones you have, and it's also the easiest to hide. Besides, you definitely didn't get it for your own enjoyment. You live for moments like this. You send him the picture and smile as you type.

Like this one?

Your phone rings not even two minutes after he reads the message. You giggle when he groans into the receiver instead of greeting you.

"You're gonna fuckin' kill me, baby." He says, his voice so deep you can practically feel it rumble against your ear.

"I told you I'd get you back." You say it like it's obvious, but he just hums. There's shuffling on his end, and all you can do is wait for him to say something else.

"What else have you been hidin' underneath all those little dresses, hm?" He asks. "Tattoos. The most fuckin' perfect tits I've ever seen. Anythin' else I should know bout? 'S your pussy as pretty as the rest of ya?" You didn't mean for him to hear you gasp, but he seemed pleased that he could pull such a sound from you without even being in the same room. Just like that, any doubt or reservation you had left flies out the window. You finally cave and slip your hand down your panties to glide your fingers through your folds. "Am I makin' you wet, sweetheart?"

"Fuck," you mumble. It's absurd how turned on you are by this whole thing. Your fingers slowly circle your clit, and your head gets so fuzzy you almost forget to respond to him. "Yes, Joel." 

"Are you playin' with yourself?" He asks, and you nod even though he can't see you. "Poor thing. I wish I could be there to help ya. I'd have you spread open for me so I can touch you however I want. Figure out what you like and what makes you cry for me." You put him on speaker and throw your phone down so you can focus on gliding through your wetness, your middle finger pushing into you slowly.

"What... what would you do?" You ask, breathless. 

"I'd start by usin' my fingers just to feel you out, and I bet you'd feel so fuckin' good. I'd play with your clit until you're beggin' me to put a finger inside you, and I'd slip two in slowly while kissin' your inner thighs and watchin' you squeeze my fingers," you moan as you listen to his raspy voice and fuck yourself to his words. You try to imagine what his fingers would feel like inside of you. How different compared to yours, how much better they'd feel. Goddammit. "Then, I'd use my mouth on you while my fingers move in and out. I'd lick you all over and feel you soakin' me when I suck on your clit." He says, and you return to rubbing said bundle of nerves, faster this time, as you become acutely aware of his labored breathing over the phone. 

Is he touching himself? The idea of him holding the phone with one hand and fisting his cock with the other sends a wave of heat down your spine, and you keen into your own hand. A shaky breath and muttered curse leave his lips, and then you know for sure what he's doing. Your head spins, and you'd be embarrassed by how close you are just from his voice if you weren't entirely focused on the pleasure clouding your brain. 

"Fuck, Joel-"

"I know, baby, I know," he coos sympathetically. Another lewd moan leaves you as you get closer and closer to the edge, stars threatening the corners of your vision. "Are you gonna come for me like this?" He asks, and you hum in the affirmative, not trusting yourself to form words. "Come on. Let me hear you. I wanna hear what you sound like when you fall apart." His voice is coming faster and breathier, a light growl at the end of his words. How are you to deny him that? 

The speed of your fingers on your clit increases, but it's his own broken whimpers that finally do it. Your back arches as the waves wash over you, and noises you didn't even know you could make escape your lips. You can vaguely hear a broken sigh accentuated by a particularly hot whine from Joel's end. Henry was never as vocal or talkative as Joel is. None of your past partners have been. In the aftershocks of your orgasm, you have a quick passing thought that he might ruin dating for you. You might never want to see anyone else who doesn't treat you like this. You might be fucked.

"Joel," you say when you have control over your thoughts again. He takes a deep breath and clears his throat.

"Yeah?"

"Get the fuck over here now."

Joel's house is on the other side of Austin. With traffic, getting to your apartment can take anywhere from twenty to forty-five minutes, depending on how fast you're willing to go and how many red lights you can pass under. Joel gets there in fifteen. You're still in the flouncy dress you bought specifically to torture him, but by the time you open the door for him, you're much less interested in making his life any more miserable than you already have over the past week. 

He doesn't hesitate to charge into your apartment, grab your face, and kiss you like his life depends on it. His tongue sweeps over your bottom lip, and you open to him, clinging to him as his hands move from your face to the backs of your thighs to pick you up. You squeal in surprise and lock your legs around his waist to bring him closer and keep yourself from falling. Even though he obviously came over the phone at the same time you did, he's hard again and pressing against your bare pussy. He hisses when you grind against him, and his jaw clenches as he pulls away like he's in pain.

"Where's your bedroom?" He asks, wide eyes searching the hallway behind you.

"First door on the left." You say as you duck your head to kiss his neck. He sighs and indulges in the feeling of your tongue against his skin before he finally finds his feet and stumbles into your bedroom. You're halfway through marking him before he lays you down and immediately rucks his hands up your thighs, spreading them apart and making you whine. 

"You okay?" He asks, stopping all movement to scan over your face for any signs of discomfort. You nod and reach for the buttons of his jeans.

"Yes. Just need you." You say. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Joel, I just came from the sound of your voice. Yes, I'm fucking sure." You say, a little frenzied as you pull at the hem of his shirt. He laughs as he pulls it over his head and quickly unzips his jeans. 

"Feisty." 

"Can you blame me?" You ask, and he shakes his head. He tugs his jeans and his briefs down at the same time and unveils all of him to you in one go. He's beautiful. You knew he would be, but seeing the graying chest hairs and the pretty happy trail leading down to his hard cock in between his strong, tan thighs is an entirely different thing. You reach for him, desperate to feel the weight of him in your hands, but he stops you by slipping the tiny straps of your night gown down your arms. 

He carefully pulls the fabric down your body until it's pooled next to his clothes on the floor. His eyes fall to the black lines wrapping around your shoulders, and he draws his eyes to your collarbones and sternum, his breathing stuttering at the sight of you laid out under him. 

"So much prettier than I imagined." He murmurs as he ducks his head to kiss the valley between your breasts. You smile and run your hands through his curls as he mouths at your chest, leaving red marks in his wake and making you press him closer.

"How many times have you thought about this?" You ask. Has he always wanted you in the way you've wanted him? You're almost positive he has. There's no other way to explain the reverence with which he's looking at you. He's so wrapped up in you it's almost suffocating. Every time you glance at his face, he's staring at you with soft eyes and blown pupils. 

"Lost count." There it is. The confirmation. You grab at his ribs to bring him closer, pulling him over you to kiss him slow and deep. Despite the heat of him against you and the ache between your thighs, you both take the time to savor it. That is until his overthinking takes over. "I didn't bring a condom. Fuck, I was in a rush. I didn't think." He says quickly, like he's waiting for you to back out or push him away. You bring your thumb up to the worried wrinkle between his eyebrows and smooth it away, kissing his jaw.

"You think I would get you all worked up to not be prepared? C'mon, baby," you turn the nickname around on him, and he leans into your hand like a cat. "Top drawer." You say. He scrambles to your bedside table and grabs the first one he can find as you move onto all fours while he's distracted. You listen for the foil ripping and the subtle sound of the latex fitting over him. You can't stop the smirk from forming when he looks up and sees the sight in front of him.

"Fuckin' Hell," he mutters. Your back is arched perfectly, your hair gathered over your shoulder, and the tattoo you got done so many years ago is on display for him. "You are so goddamn perfect." He says as he presses his chest into your back and kisses your shoulder. He plants a few more kisses across your neck and back, making you wait longer than you already have, and just when you think you're going crazy, he slowly pushes into you and punches all the air from your lungs. 

He's big. Bigger than anyone you've been with before, and he seems to know that. He rolls his hips, and you moan, gripping at the sheets under you for stability as you adjust. His breathing is ragged behind you, and he groans when you involuntarily clench around him. "You okay?" He asks, his voice straining. His patience and self-control should be fucking studied. 

"Yeah, I'm okay." You assure him, and he nods. He starts to move slowly at first, but when you start whining and shaking under him, he snaps. You're both impatient. Months of following the rules and caring about what other people could think or say tumble out of your heads as he sets a rough pace. You've been dreaming about this and pushing it away since he walked into your classroom that day, and now that it's happening, you can't hide how desperate you are for him. You cry his name as he fucks into you deeply, no part of your bodies not touching, but it's still not close enough.

"You're so fuckin' good for me, baby. Jesus fuck," he moans into your ear, his uneven breaths echoing into your skull. "You feel so good." 

He sits back and brings you with him, changing the angle and forcing him deeper inside of you as his hand snakes around your waist and dips to play with your clit. You curse loudly and dig your nails into his forearm as bright pleasure courses through your veins. "'M gonna come if you keep doing that," you warn, your voice high and strained as he adds a little more pressure. 

"C'mon, honey, come on my cock for me. Please, I want it." It could be the slight whine in his voice or the fact that he's begging you for it, or the fact that the tight circles he's rubbing into your clit are making you see stars, but you come hard. You rely on him to hold you upright as he fucks you through your high, the slick between your thighs growing as his own orgasm washes over him, and he moans directly in your ear, an unexpected but not unpleasant gift. You think you could get off again just to the sounds he makes when he's coming. 

You stay like that for a second, wrapped up in each other and breathing hard with him still inside you, before he finally finds the courage to slip out of you with only a tiny pained moan. He carefully guides you onto your back, your bones jelly, and kisses your cheek before he pads off to the bathroom to throw away the used condom. 

It's quiet again in the apartment, but it's not lonely anymore. He makes himself at home in your space, asking if he can get water and snacks from your kitchen and walking around naked as the day he was born. "I wanna make sure you've got enough energy for round two." He says, making you laugh.

"Are you finally gonna make good on your promise to take your time with me?" 

"Fuck yeah." He says, coming back to kiss your lips one more time before walking to the kitchen. It's like if he goes a few minutes without tasting you, he can't function, or at least, that's what he makes it seem like. You're more than receptive to the attention and can only watch as he walks around. Your trust in your legs is not strong enough to get up just yet. 

In the domestic silence, it would be easy for your mind to run rampant with rogue thoughts and anxieties, but when Joel returns to the bedroom with snacks, bottles of water, and those stupidly sweet eyes, they get pushed to the back burner. He gets under the covers and pulls you into him, his warm body grounding you to this moment and not letting your thoughts stray. He presses kisses to your hair and your face every so often as you talk about everything and nothing. 

Somehow, it feels natural, like you've been doing this the whole time or like everything was leading up to this. Maybe it was. Still, you'll need to talk about this. You know you will.

Just... not yet.

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethisplz2004 @buckyispunk @d1lf-loverrr @vee-bees-blog @moel-jiller @anoverwhelmingdin @casssiopeia @maried01

[gluion]

somebody ➵ ji changmin

you needed somebody to give you what you crave. will you allow changmin to be that for you?

requested by @sungbeam for the song "somebody" by keshi

genre/warnings ➵ smut, afab reader, porn no plot, petnames (baby), slight dom!changmin, changmin is trying to prove to you that you're all he needs, reader is very much insistent on denying that they need him, no explicit consent was used (consent is sexy btw!), use of your vibrator (though he doesn't let you cum with it), hickeys, making out, nipple play, unprotected sex (yes there is p in v action! please wrap it up), dirty talk, cum eating (reader's end), no aftercare since the ending is kind of abrupt, not edited because i kind of hate rereading the smut i write... apologies

word count ➵ 3.2k words

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @vernyangel

a/n ➵ surprise! fulfilling my first request since i first opened it!! i hope you enjoy it beam!! i know i said to expect it at the end of this week but smth possessed me... i'm not sure if it's great because i'm also getting used to writing smut </3 but i still hope you enjoy it!! let me know your thoughts :DD for the other readers: if you enjoyed this, always make sure to reblog (even if it’s on your tbr </3)!

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! want to request? check out my guidelines! masterlist

They say that any decisions made after 2:00 a.m. are ones made to set you up for the worse. All rational thought seems to leave someone’s brain when the clock’s hand strikes that number. And all events that occur after that time are ones people tend to regret, rethinking their choices and the situation they’re placed in as soon as the next day comes. 

You are well aware of the curse. Your friends have been victims of the supposed curse, making choices that will give them another story that will gather laughs or scowls from others. And you end up becoming the one person your friends call before they make these stupid choices—the one person who has to knock sense into your friends whether they may be in an intoxicated state or not.

But it’s embarrassing enough that while you usually take the position of knocking some sense around this time of the night, you find yourself in the same position your friends seem to always be in—lips interlocked with the guy you should have no connection with.

The smell of him has your brain turning into putty. This could all be due to the later hours of the day; you’re probably only making these impulsive decisions because you’re deprived of sleep. But being in this hazy state intensifies how his hands feel as they venture all over you.

As soon as his lips leave yours, he notices how insistent you are in keeping your eyes closed. The idea of you refusing to meet eyes with him out of pure shame has him chuckling. “Come on, now. There’s no need to be shy,” he mumbles before letting his lips move to the side of your neck. His hands find their place on your hips, holding you against your bedroom door. 

You feel the way he sucks on the skin, and it’s one you can never find the right words to describe how it makes you feel. Call it blissful, pleasurable, or gratifying—all you know is that it’s sinful to feel all this just because of him.

“I’m sure that there’s a reason why you let me in your dorm,” he says as he stops littering your neck with hickeys. As you feel his breath fan over the wet marks, you cannot help but shudder at the sensation. “I’m sure I made it clear about what I wanted from you since you saw me standing by your door.”

You shake your head. “No, I didn’t.” Your attempt to defend your pride is almost pathetic—one that even has you cringing at the sound of it. In no way did it sound convincing but you needed to do anything and everything to protect your ego.

A chuckle leaves his mouth. And the hands that held you against your door maneuvered you away from it. Your eyes snap open, finally taking sight of the man who seems to know what you crave. The smirk on his lips has your blood boiling. “That’s not true.” And before you could protest, his lips find their place on yours.

The way he tugs on your bottom lip has your knees going weak, providing him an advantage to knock you down to your bed—the same one where you find yourself dreaming about him marking you up in every spot possible. Between you and this bed held secrets you were afraid to ever admit to anyone.

Even in the hours you would never allow Changmin to touch you as you were capable of making rational decisions, thoughts of him occupied every corner of your mind—from the way he would leave your lips all bruised from the way he kisses you all the way to how he had you moaning his name into the crook of his neck while he whispered nothing but profanities and dirty secrets that had you creaming around him.

As you two lay down on your bed, his hands tugged on the hem of your shirt. He parts away from you, leaving you both breathless. “Don’t forget that I know all about you,” he points out before another smirk shows up on his face.

Before you know it, he removes your shirt off of you, your bare chest now exposed to him. And when one of his hands finds its place on your boobs, you cannot help but whine at the way he gropes you, fingers playing with your nubs.

“I never forget, baby.” The way he whispers the pet name has you wanting to kick him out. He shouldn’t call you that, ever, for it should only be reserved for ones you’re in a relationship with. And in no way are you and him together. But god, these hours hold power over you—you never tell him to stop.

His hands continue to fondle your chest and you bite on your bottom lip to hold back any moan—any sound—from leaving you. But you cannot help but let your eyes flutter close. If Changmin didn’t know your body better than you do, maybe then it would be easier to reject all his offers.

“There’s no need to hold back those pretty sounds of yours. I know all of it, remember?” He leaves a kiss on the space of your cheek that’s close to your ear. “But I have a question for you: Were you expecting to meet with someone else by your door?”

When you shake your head, he chuckles against your ear. “I don’t believe you.” Your eyes snap open at his claim. He moves away from the side of your face so that he can look directly at you.

“Something tells me that you were trying to ring up your other hookups. From the way you were dressed up when you answered the door,” his face gets close to yours so that your noses touch. And with his breath fanning so closely over your mouth, you cannot help but hold yourself from breathing. “It’s almost like you wanted someone to fuck you then and there.” The way he whispers such profanities has you sucking in your breath. 

You really weren’t expecting to meet with anyone—not even when Lee Juyeon from your general mathematics class messaged you an hour ago. Although his message did say that he was interested in doing some “homework” with you, you were capable of reading between the lines after all the instances you two couldn’t help but make out.

But the reality is that you two never went further than groping each other—you were too preoccupied with thoughts of the man who continues to pleasure you now.

“I really wasn’t going to meet with anyone,” you admit as your eyes almost close from exhaustion and desperation. “I was going to go to sleep until you barged into my dorm.”

Changmin cannot help but laugh. As he sits up with his legs caging you down, he removes his shirt. As soon as he flings his shirt to the side, he allows his chest to be pressed up against yours. You want to gasp at how nice it is to have his skin on yours, but you do your best to make sure your facial expression never changes. 

He lets his hand reach out to your face, cupping your jaw so that you keep your eyes on him. And the question that leaves his lips makes you want to kick him out of your dorm. “Were you really going to go sleep or use that purple vibrator of yours until you passed out?” And you should’ve pushed him off of you—tell him to get out so that you could allow yourself to sleep. But when you try to look away from him, that’s when he knew he had you right where he needed you—you had him right where you shouldn’t need him.

He chuckles and says, “Is that why you let me walk into your dorm? Is that vibrator of yours not enough?” His hand leaves your face before he sits up once more, reaching out for your bedside drawer. 

“No, it’s more than enough,” you argue back, trying hard to not have your hands all over his chest—over his arms, for that matter. But when he’s at eye-level with you once more, you notice the smirk that seems to be etched on his face. And before you know it, he raises your toy so that you can see it. As soon as you gulp at the sight of it, that’s when Changmin knew that his assumptions were right.

Before you can say anything, he pulls your shorts down with one hand, bringing your panties along. Your eyes cannot help but trail to his arm all the way down to his hand that successfully holds your bottoms all crumpled up. And when he examines the garments, he notices a wet patch on your underwear that was formed all from the way he touched you.

He tongues the inside of his cheek as he looks back and forth between the garment and you. As soon as he flings away your bottoms to the side, he uses that same hand to reach down to the area where you shouldn’t need him. But as soon as his fingers make contact with your folds, you cannot help but arch your back in instinct. It’s embarrassing to want him carnally.

Changmin’s fingers prod their way into your pussy. The way you bite on your bottom lip to hold back any moans is what has him chuckling. “There’s no need to hold back. I’ll give it all to you.” His fingers trail up and down, gathering your slick. And now, you were sure you weren’t exhausted, for all the sensations you were feeling were enough to keep you awake until you got what you craved.

Once his fingers leave your pussy, you bite the inside of your cheek so that a whine never leaves you. But as you watch his slick-coated fingers rubbing over your toy, you almost want to pass out from what can be expected next. As he clicks on a button, the toy begins to emit a buzzing sound, vibrating in his hand.

“Let’s see if this toy can really make you cum.”

And before you know it, the toy rests right at your entrance. You let your hands reach to your scalp, holding onto your hair so that you don’t touch him. You wanted to grab your vibrator off his hands just to show him where you needed it to be, but you would never give him the pleasure of watching you get off. And yet, it’s almost as if he reads your thoughts for he brings it upwards, meeting your clit.

The sudden vibration on your nub has you sucking your breath in, your head lolling backward. With how hard you’re biting on your lip, you’re positive that a wound has started to form. “Why don’t you moan for me? We both know you want to.” Changmin’s words have you shaking your head. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction. But with how good your toy feels on your clit, you almost find yourself giving into him—just almost.

As you shake your head with your eyes closed, you hear the way he hums. And before you know it, your vibrator goes at a faster speed. Your face scrunches up in pleasure. Now, all you want to do is chase your high until you can finally cum.

“Look at you, all desperate for me.” His words almost sound like he’s making fun of you. But when you let your eyes slowly flutter to look at him, you notice how in awe he is with how you try to chase the feeling. You notice how his eyes trail down from your torso all the way to where the vibrator is found. “Is this how you look like when you fuck yourself until you pass out? God, I need to see you more like this.”

And you shake your head, eyes closing as you try to regulate your breathing. But when his free hand reaches your nipples, you almost pass out. The combined sensations have you breathing heavily, your brain reaching territories of absolutely no rational thought. Now, all you want is for him to be inside you.

The vibration on your clit has you moving your bottom up, aiming to get anything inside you. Somehow, Changmin knew that all the way from how your body was writhing in desperation. And you expect him to set your vibrator to a higher setting or to have his fingers shoved up in your pussy. But when your toy suddenly stops buzzing, your eyes open to only see him smirking.

He sets your vibrator aside before he sits up, his hand leaving your chest. “I’m not letting your first time cumming tonight be from your toy.” He unbuttons his pants as he stares you down. You’re still breathing heavily from all the sensations, but his eyes on you have you wanting to hide away in shame. “There’s no need to hide it, baby. I’ll be the one to satisfy you—to please you.”

As soon as he discards his pants, he lets himself lean forward so that his face is close to yours. With one arm resting on the space near the side of your face, the distance between you two is almost nonexistent—lips so close to touching once more.

“On the nights you need someone to please you, I’ll make sure to be that person for you,” he says as he holds his cock in his hands, his tip meeting your folds as it gathers your slick. “I’ll become that somebody for you—only if you let me.” And his whisper has all rational thought leaving your mind for you cannot help but wrap your arms around his neck, bringing his lips to yours.

The way his tongue prods against the same of your lips has you parting your mouth slightly open, letting his tongue play with yours. The more he kisses you, the more lightheaded you feel. It almost feels like minutes since you initiated this kiss, and he still has yet to enter you. As soon as you part away from him, you’re about to scold him.

But before you can do so, his cock slowly enters you. The air gets knocked out of your lungs as he slowly enters you little by little, and the way you hold your breath has him chuckling. He lets his face snuggle to the crook of your neck as he leaves kisses all over the space. “Let me all that you need,” he mumbles against your skin. “I know all that you need, so why don’t you let me become that somebody for you?”

And you want to tell him that he’s wrong. You can find someone else who can learn all about what you want—all that you need. But deep down, you know how no one can make you crave something so carnally like he does; no one is capable to have your brain turning into putty just from how they touch you, and; no one can fuck you like he can.

So as soon as you find yourself slightly nodding, he is aware that you have completely allowed him to be the body that you will use—the body that will give you all that you need. And just like that, he thrusts into you. The moans now spill out of your mouth as you let your fingers scratch his back. His cock glides against your ways in a way that your vibrator never will.

“Oh god,” you blubber out accidentally. You can’t believe you let such words leave your mouth for they hold the power to feed his ego. You feel the way he smiles against your neck.

Once his lips move away from your neck, he moves his face so that it hovers over yours. “The way you moan for me is pretty. Do you moan like this for anyone else?”

You stare right at him. “Y-yes.” It’s your attempt to prevent his ego from inflating—to stop him from ever thinking how much of an effect on you. But he sees right through your lie, the smile now bigger on his lips.

“Okay,” he says. “Then I’ll make sure that you never go back to your other fucks.” And just like that, he continues to thrust into you at a faster rate. You throw your head back as more moans spill out of you. And when his tip started to meet the spot that had your toes curling, that’s when you knew you were so close to finally breaking.

With the way you start to clench on him, he looks down to where his length gets lost in your folds. “God, you’re gripping on my cock so tight. You’re going to cum already? But we’ve only just started.” You let your eyes meet his face, and you notice that his eyes are about to flutter close. Just like you, he was getting close to cumming as well.

His thrusts get sloppier. “Don’t worry about who you’re fucking anymore.” You feel yourself teetering on the edge of release. All you needed was something more. And before you can think of what you needed to finally push you to cum, you feel his fingers meet your clit, rubbing it in circles.

You gasp at the sensation. The way his cock enters you all while his fingers rub on the nub of nerves is enough to let you see white. “Cum for me.” And as he chants that set of words, you find yourself creaming all over him. The moan you let out as you cum all over him is sinful. With your face scrunched up in pleasure, he cannot help but feel himself about to orgasm.

Despite how tight your pussy grips his cock, he manages to find a way to move his dick away. Your eyes flutter open to see the way he grips his dick, rubbing it up and down as he tries to enter the same zone you’re in. As you watch the way his hand moves, you cannot help but admire the sight of him getting lost in pleasure—eyes closed as he focuses on the sensation. And before you know it, cum spills out of him as he moans, his release painting your chest.

His free hand rests on your bed as he continues to pump his cock, riding out the orgasm. Once he finished, you notice how his breathing is just as heavy as yours. His eyes flutter open to meet with yours. Once his hand stops holding his length, you notice that his fingers trail to your chest as they gather some of his release. And without a second thought, you let your lips part.

You notice the way his eyes widen at your willingness. Even without his conviction, you were willing to eat his release up. With that, his fingers coated in cum slips into your mouth. And he feels the way your tongue licks his digits up.

Just from the way you lick his cum off his fingers, he feels himself getting lightheaded and his cock growing hard once more. And before you know it, his digits leave your mouth. “Are you ready for round two?”

[nonbayanary]

Just gonna vent a little about my fic

I'm rereading some parts of my fic and I WANT TO SCREAM AJDHDJDK like, "NO, HIRUMA WOULD NOT SAY THAT???" but it's ME who wrote it and i want to bash my own head in! To my present self, I feel as if my past self mischaracterized Hiruma so much in Chapter 2, and I feel truly ashamed of posting it at its draft stage. (Although I posted it BECAUSE I was sure that if I didn't do it soon, I would delete the whole chapter entirely smh.)

Which is why I feel genuinely shocked sometimes when people say they like my fic hhhhh. Like please don't get me wrong, I'm so so SO GRATEFUL, and I love all the kudos and comments! But sometimes, I'm teary-eyed, like, "Hiruma and Sena are SO mischaracterized here, and yall still love this fic, despite its flaws and shortcomings? AAAAAAAA!!!"

I'd also like to say that now that I'm rereading Sena's dialogue in my fic, I'm screaming, "SENA WOULD NOT SAY THAT!!!" Like ohmygod, WHAT HAVE I DONE, WHY DID I POST THIS???

But also, I can't really blame myself??? I wrote Chapter 2 when I was low on sleep, and ULTRA HIGH on coffee. Like, after working a 9 to 6 job, which is on a COMPUTER, I'd eat dinner, and then continue spending my night hours writing Chapter 2, STILL ON THE COMPUTER. Veins in my eyes would regularly pop, and I'd be typing deep into the night with scattered blood on my sclera.

Because of that, I was almost always sleepy in the daytime. So I'd combat that grogginess with coffee—TOO MUCH COFFEE. In just a few hours, I'd drink three cups of coffee, and top it off with a fourth cup, just to get the inspiration going. And inspiration WOULD come, but I'd be so high that my fingers were shaking. I would feel like I was on a different plane of existence, lile my whole core was vibrating with caffeine. My hands would dance on the keys of my keyboard, as fast as Eyeshield 21 himself. Yet, I'd be so high that I wouldn't even FEEL the keys on my fingers.

I'd be triumphant—but only for a little while. The caffeine crashes afterwards were shit. Inspiration would stop flowing, and I'd just stare at the screen blankly, all blood-red eyeballs and despair-filled gaze, with the knowledge that I ruined my body—and would continue to do so—for one mere fic chapter.

It's understandable that Hiruma and Sena would say shit they wouldn't, because I was high as fuck, and low as shit on logical reasoning.

Still, I can't help but cringe when I reread my fic, the product of several months' worth of sleep deprivation and self-sabotage. Would Hiruma say, "Lead the way"??? Would he say, "Due to certain circumstances, I will be passing away"??? FUCK NO!!! Would Sena say, "And you're the troublemaking son he talks about"????? Would he say, "So you noticed"???? I THINK THE FUCK NOT!!!

But I think all I can do is forgive myself for this misinterpretation of the characters. I'm glad that at least you guys liked this story, misshapen though it is. Maybe one day I'll rewrite this fic, when my circumstances IRL are better. When I'm out of my domestic abuse situation, and when the inspiration finally flows again, because I'm not in a constant state of fight-or-flight every hour.

Perhaps, perhaps.

[universalfanfic]

A little oneshot inspired by a comment on AO3 (@hurniburn)

Teen Lex gets a drunk call from Peyton. She says some strange things.

Lex sat at the desk in his dorm room and frowned as he read one of his textbooks. His roommate, his friend, was gone for the evening so he had the space to himself. There was a party in the woods and Duncan had managed to get a pity invite from one of the socially anxious girls that trailed after Annalise and Peyton all the time. 

Duncan tried to encourage Lex to join him, claiming this could be their ‘chance to be accepted’, but Lex was a realist. At best he’d be ignored, at worst someone would find a way to humiliate him. Especially with Oliver there. Maybe this could be Duncan’s moment, but he wouldn’t have a chance if Lex came.

It wasn’t like Lex wanted to go to a party anyway. He’d study instead.

His cell phone rang as he reread a paragraph for the third time and he readily accepted the distraction. 

“Hello?”

A string of wild giggles answered his prompting and Lex cringed.

“Hi!” Peyton’s voice chirped back. Lex couldn’t stand the tone of voice she consistently spoke in. Like everything was a question.

“Why are you calling me?” He asked dully. He had half a mind to just hang up on her; still might if she started mindlessly rambling again.

“Duncan told me to call you,” she said. “They keep giving me drinks.”

“So you’re drunk calling me. Great.” 

“Annalise said great,” Peyton told him. “She said the drinks are good; they’re good.” 

Irritation bubbled up in Lex and his scowl deepened. Using the sparse clues from Peyton’s words, he could only guess that either Duncan was trying to use her to convince Lex to join the party, or everyone had grown irritated enough with her drunken state to try and pass her off on someone else. But she was their problem right now. They could walk her back to her dorm themselves. 

“Go back to your room and go to sleep,” he told her. Usually she listened, as long as there wasn’t another source of influence there to sway her. 

“I feel funny,” she admitted. “Did you know Orion has two faces? But I don’t know him.” 

“Orion?” Lex parroted back in confusion. “The constellation? What are you talking about?” 

She giggled mindlessly again, but the laugh cracked near the end and devolved into something more sad. Almost a choked back sob.

“I feel funny.” She said again.

Lex closed his textbook over a pencil and sat back in his chair as he gave her his full focus. These weren’t the normal sort of things Peyton said. For a split second, his heart skipped a beat as he wondered if she was back to being his Peyton. But, no. She wasn’t coherent enough. She still sounded too dreamy and nonsensical.

“Peyton,” he said slowly, “why do you feel funny?” 

Peyton hummed. 

“I feel funny because my head feels funny. Wondering feels bad.” 

That. That was a little interesting. She nearly made a solid, definitive statement, and usually she shied away from those, as if she was too afraid the smallest opinion would offend someone.

“What are you even wondering about?” 

An enthusiastic cry from the party crowd rose up in the background and cut off anything Peyton might have said. Annalise’s voice, loud and somewhere passed tipsy, came through the phone speaker. 

“C’mon girl! This party is killer; we’re having a blaaast!” 

“I have to go; we’re having a blast,” Peyton told him. 

She hung up, or Annalise hung up for her, before Lex could reply and he sat for a moment just staring at his phone. 

Peyton was definitely drunk, he decided. Clearly. She was normally kind of strange, but even that was a bit out of her wheelhouse. And didn’t drinking usually make people emotional and dramatic? Or particularly annoying.

Lex sighed and opened his textbook again to try and finally absorb that last paragraph.  Girls were weird and Peyton was weirder. He ignored the pang of disappointment that she was still her usual self.

[ireallylovepuppies101]

Inky Mystery Audrey AU 8

Part 8!!!

This will be the last part for a while. As you all know the babitim fic is LONG, and unfortunately I’m a busy adult having to do boring adult shit so I don’t have time to reread the whole story for the AU atm. If anyone has any questions about the AU feel free to send questions.

Now onto the AU! 

Audrey ends up waking up after Bendy, Boris, Cup, and Mug get back from the hospital. Mostly due to Red yelling angrily over the cup brothers showing their faces to them after everything they’ve done. She leaves the room she was sleeping in and listens to the adults argue from the stairs since she’s pretty sure they’d shoo her out so she doesn’t listen to them fighting. She’d cringe a bit when Red snaps at her brothers for allowing Cuphead and Mugman around their little sister after everything they did, while Bendy and Boris try standing up for Cuphead and Mugman that they protected her the whole time they worked together. After Red storms out Audrey enters the kitchen where everyone finally notices her. Bendy sighs as he rubs her head and asks her if she heard all of that. Giving a timid nod as a response, Audrey looks at the two cup brothers. “I know you guys did a lot of bad things, and those bad things aren’t okay… But you’re not bad people, and I’m glad we’re friends now.”

Mugman would look like he appreciates that a lot, while Cuphead’s expression is a bit harder to read but Audrey would think that made him happy too. After they all catch up on everything that happened, and find the runaway voodoo doll that hid in Oddswell’s study, They all get settled into their rooms and Audrey finally gets a good look at the bed she woke up in but didn’t give much thought since she heard the adults arguing. There are three beds in the room. Two for her brothers, and a small one for her in the corner with a duck quilt on it. Next to the small bed would be a little round table with a new box of crayons and loose blank papers, and at the foot of the bed would be a small dress up rack with her one dress Holly and Alice got her hanging on it. Granny Gopher stepped into the room claiming she and the ladies in the house went thrift store shopping together to get some of the basic necessities for Audrey so she could have her own comfortable little space. Bendy and Boris would have to thank Granny on Audrey’s behalf while Audrey’s too emotional to say anything as she hugs Granny.

Next day, after everyone eats breakfast, Bendy and Boris go with Oddswell to help him with an experiment involving the ink illness, while Audrey goes to play with Dot as Granny keeps an eye on her in the backyard. Dot and Audrey paint each other’s nails, do a few jump rope games, Audrey sharing stories about Bendy to Dot, and dragging Yakko, and the Cup brothers, into a tea party. Mugman was far more willing then Cuphead, since Cup had firmly said no until Audrey used the puppy eyes trick on him, resulting in Cuphead somehow finding himself sitting in the backyard munching on a cookie with a cup of tea in his hand. He’s at first pretty pissed off over the whole situation, especially when Yakko starts singing obnoxiously loud and off key, but when he notices the muffled screaming coming from inside the house that sounds like Bendy having an ink attack, he realizes they’re trying to keep Audrey distracted. So he firmly plants his hands over her ears, acting like he’s sparing her from Yakko’s purposely bad singing until the screaming stops. Later Bendy and Boris come outside and claim they’re forming a rescue party to save Alice, who is apparently an angel.

Audrey would be a bit mad when she’s told she’s not coming with, but she respects Bendy enough when he firmly tells her it’ll be too dangerous and would prefer her staying safe at the house with Granny. Cuphead and Mugman even backed Bendy up saying they’d feel 100 percent better if Audrey stayed AWAY from Hat. At least it gives her time to actually take in the fact that Alice is an angel. It makes sense once she stops to think about it, but boy that’s a lot to take in. Thankfully she didn’t see Bendy, Cup, or Felix as a bloody mess when they rushed back to the house after fighting Hat to give Alice her halo back, Granny quickly wrapping herself around Audrey until the Blue Fairy healed them, but she’d still be a crying mess seeing her friend, hero, and brother unconscious and not waking up for two days. Boris would be doing his best to soothe her, and Mugman trying his best to assure her Cuphead and the others will be okay, until Bendy wakes up and can hug her.

With Oddswell telling them to take the day off and do something to help them relax, they all decide to go to the circus, all of them having fun, enjoying the show, and get to go see Mickey again. Bendy being less thrilled about that than his two siblings, but Audrey looks forward to saying hi to the bunny kids that she talked to before, and to see their dad again to give him something while her brothers are busy fixing up some things Mickey has that are broken. She’d be a bit surprised to see Oswald looking more cheerful and actually speaking. Even bluntly saying. “You talk now!”

Thankfully Oswald doesn’t look at all offended, just smiles a little as he kneels down and offers his hand to shake. “Sure do. Nice to, properly, meet you. Audrey right? My brother talks about you and your brother a lot.”

Audrey blushing a bit as she nods her head and shakes his hand, holding a picture she made up to him with her other hand. “I made this in case I saw you again, since you looked really sad before… You look happier now though so it’s okay if you don’t want it.”

Checking out said picture, Oswald sees it’s a drawing of a big multi-colored flower field with a bunch of blue bunnies scattered everywhere. Audrey claimed she tried drawing all of his kids but her blue crayon started to run out and she kept losing count. Oswald laughs as he rubs her head affectionately like he does with his own kids. “No way am I giving this back now, this makes me even happier. Thanks kid!”

That makes Audrey pretty happy, her being in a good mood during most of the meal as everyone eats and talks. Mickey gives her and Boris a lot of attention, and Audrey enjoys hearing interesting stories from the grown-ups. Unfortunately though Pete shows up at their table, and makes his son PJ read what he writes since he lost his voice from a curse made by a witch. Felix would keep himself firmly between Audrey and Pete while Boris is busy trying to keep Bendy from lashing out, but even her eyes would start turning red when Pete still accuses the three of them for burning down his garage.

Pretty much everyone else at the table would seem to pause as they process Pete's accusing Audrey as well, Oswald not looking impressed. “You’re seriously accusing a 6 year old of arson?”

They all still get kicked out of the restaurant, but as they’re walking out of the door, Audrey decides to get something off her chest. So she slips her hand out of Bendy’s hold, runs back to Pete, gives him a dirty look, takes a deep breath, and YELLS. “MOONROCK BRAINED CUSSFACE SCUM!”

The look of pure shock on Pete’s face is absolutely worth the trouble she gets into. Everyone except for Cuphead, who’d be wheezing from laughing, would gasp in horror at what she just said while Boris quickly runs to her, covers her mouth, and takes off with her in his arms before Pete can snap out of it. The minute Boris puts her down, Bendy would grab her by her wrist tightly enough where she can’t escape him again and scolds her angrily. “One rule! I have one cussing rule about swearing and you went and broke it, in PUBLIC! What the hell Audrey?!”

She’d say she wanted to do that for a really long time and she regrets NOTHING! Even if Bendy says she’s getting an early bedtime for a week with no desert. Still worth it, and at least Cuphead thought it was funny!

Though then the situation takes a bit of an unpleasant turn when Mickey gets outed for ignoring Bendy, and it turns out it’s because Bendy has the ink illness. Audrey would be silently horrified as Mickey implies that Bendy’s going to die. The way she views Mickey gets shattered as Boris yells at him. Bendy ends up carrying her while he has an arm wrapped around crying Boris, she’d feel like she’d want to cry too, but she’d stubbornly fight it as her eyes stay red for part of the trip back to the house. Cuphead notices and reaches over to wordlessly ruffle her hair in his own way to comfort her. She’d appreciate that but still be too angry and upset to say anything. The people in the house thankfully are doing their best to help her keep her mind off of it for the next few days, Snow White especially being quite helpful as she and Audrey bond. Learning that Mickey’s missing would be alarming to her though. She’s mad at Mickey, but she doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him. Felix would do his best to assure Audrey that the police will figure out what happened, but that doesn’t stop her from worrying.

And then they lose the Blue Fairy to an ink attack. Audrey had her hands tightly pressed against her ears when the screaming started until Bendy picked her up and held her against his chest so she could focus on the sound of his heart beat. Boris nervously rubbing her back until it all stops. With the Blue Fairy gone due to the Ink Illness, Audrey would be clinging to Bendy for the rest of the day. When it’s time for bed though, and Bendy’s in the middle of reading to her, Audrey interrupts him. “Bendy… Are you going to die?”

That makes Bendy freeze in place. He doesn’t look shocked, he looks more like he knew a verbal hit was coming but still taking it anyways. Muttering “Damn that mouse.” under his breath, Bendy would put the book aside and pull Audrey into his lap. “I won’t lie to you sis, there’s a chance… But I swear to you. I will fight tooth and nail, I will deal with the most painful attacks in the world everyday, if it means I get to stay with you and Boris.”

“This isn’t fair…”

Bendy’s hold on her gets a bit tighter as he rests his chin on the top of her head. “I know.”

Audrey ends up sleeping in Bendy’s bed that night. Way too upset to sleep in her own bed. Frankly Bendy wasn’t sure he would have wanted to let her go that night anyways, and it’s a damn good thing he didn’t when Alice wakes him up from Holly’s sleeping curse and is told that the cog has done something to her. It’s because of Bendy having such a tight grip on sleeping Audrey that Wiston was able to grab both of them and hide in the crawl space when Holly took Boris. Bendy is at first ready to panic when Audrey won’t wake up until Alice explains, and he quickly gives his little sister a kiss on the forehead to wake her. He’d be very relieved when her eyes flutter open and she looks around confused, asking why she and Bendy are covered in dust and cobwebs while their friends are surrounding them.

She’d stay at the house with the other house residents while Bendy and their friends go to stop Holly and save Boris. Bendy promises to her that he and Boris will come back, and tells her to stay safe with Granny and everyone else. Audrey would be anxious and nervous the whole time, until all the chaos that night is finally over, and her brothers come back after being released from the hospital. Audrey practically tackles Boris the moment they step in through the front door, glad her big brother is safe. When everything is explained Audrey would be worried about Holly and want to visit her, but Bendy would insist she waits until Holly feels a bit better, and suggests she makes a get well card for her. When they all go visit Holly though Audrey would INSIST she wants to come. Giving her best puppy eyes when everyone tries saying no.

Might be the first time Boris has a LITTLE regret teaching her how to do that since it’s the first time she used it on him.

Either way, she gets what she wants. Audrey’s taken along to visit Holly, and is there when Cuphead and Mugman pull their little stunt by “kidnapping” Holly and freaking everyone out. Bright side, at least when they find them Holly’s starting to come back to her old self. Audrey is thankful for that as she hugs Holly and tells her she missed her. Holly hugged back and told her she missed her too.

And now for fun facts!!!

-With all of them living in Oddswell’s house with other people with the ink illness, Audrey starts making a bit of a new daily routine. She wakes up, gets ready for the day with Bendy or Boris brushing out her hair, always runs to greet Felix at the door who gives her a big good morning hug, enjoys breakfast with everyone before working on her educational lessons with Felix and/or Holly, plays with anyone available or whoever she ropes into playing with her (Like Cuphead), draws for a bit to decorate her little corner in the bedroom as well as the fridge in the kitchen, and ends the day with Bendy and Boris tucking her in and reading her a bedtime story.

- She starts getting pretty spoiled by the ladies in the house, as well as Holly, Cala and Alice. Granny teaches Bendy and Boris how to brush Audrey’s hair better and do simple hair styles, while Holly, Cala and Alice get Audrey cute hair and small clothing accessories to play with. Snow White even teaches Audrey how to apply make-up correctly after Bendy busted her playing with the actresses make-up kit and tried apologizing to Snow. Thankfully she was understanding and sat Audrey down for a quick make-up lesson.

-Audrey at one point tells Snow White she reminds her of a princess, and Snow teaches her how to act like a princess. Even getting her a toy tiara to wear when she wants to dress up like one using the other women in the house’s clothes.

-While Bendy, Felix, and Cuphead were recovering from their fight with Hat, Audrey asked Alice that if she’s an angel, then why doesn’t she hate her and Bendy. Nearly breaks Alice’s heart as she hugs Audrey close and admits she wasn’t very nice to Bendy at first, but she learned that Bendy was a good person and could never hate him or Audrey. Especially after everything they’ve all done for each other. Audrey is glad to hear that as she hugs Alice close and enjoys her comforting warmth.

- While Mickey was cursed by Holly and was stuck as invisible and mute, during his time hiding at the house and waiting for Holly to show up, he gets hit with the guilt sucker punch when he overheard Audrey asking Bendy if he was going to die. Knowing it’s partly his fault for putting that worry in the little girl’s head.

-When the whole Cog-Holly situation is over with and Mickey’s visible again, when he goes to apologize to everyone, he’d also apologize for saying what he said in front of Audrey. Audrey would be a bit quiet at first until she speaks up. “I’m still upset with you… but I’m happy you’re okay, because you’re still my friend.” Hearing that would be a bit of a relief to Mickey knowing she and Boris don’t hate him.

- Audrey has officially decided she’s going to drag Cuphead into playing with her as often as possible. She likes Mugman, and she’s starting to like Cuphead but he keeps her at an emotional arm’s length despite her knowing he cares about her and her brothers a little at least. So whenever everyone else is busy, she sets her yellow eyes on him, and Cuphead HATES it. Especially when he can’t say no to her because Boris taught her the cussing puppy eyed look! Though to avoid Audrey trying to drag him into more tea parties, or worse, make-overs, he bargains with her saying he can teach her how to fight so she doesn’t have to resort to threatening to sink her teeth into someone’s nasty skin. It mostly consists of him showing her how to punch properly without hurting herself, but at least Audrey has fun and gets Cuphead to grin a little seeing how happy she is over learning how to defend herself.

-Felix and Audrey start getting rather close. He looks forward to when he comes over every morning and is greeted by Audrey wanting a hug from him. He’s especially touched when he stays at the house late and Audrey asks him to help her brothers tuck her in for the night. Bendy at one point thanking Felix for helping out with her and tells him he really appreciates everything Felix has done for them so far, though Felix would assure him it’s his pleasure.

[sukirichi]

Breakfast for Choso with ingredients #17 and 34 with #2 sugar? Wine is optional.

EASY 

— Nothing is ever easy with Choso, but for him, you’d push through hell and back.

meal order: breakfast + 17, 34 (fake dating, rentboy au) + 2 (enemies to lovers) + biting, scratching, choso eating reader out, sex on the beach

warnings: mature content, unedited fic, choso is mean and harsh when he’s angry

notes: thank you so much for this anon! I really enjoyed writing this and this totally made my day. I hope you like it!

word count: 10k+ LOL CHOSO BRAIN ROT

check out the fanart @tigressnej-chan made, it s so beautiful HURRR

Your day was absolutely ruined. Dark, deep bags covered your under eyes as you stormed through the convenience store downstairs your apartment, body clad in an oversized hoodie and socks visible through slippers, hair greasy and lips chapped. You’re aware you look like a mess, but did you care?

Absolutely not, especially when you haven’t been sleeping well the moment you moved into this cursed apartment because of a certain fucker.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. That specific fucker – the cause of your ruin and the devil who prevented you from living a good life – waltzed inside the store, the small bell chiming to signal his presence. You scoffed at his confident, suave walk, further irritated because he just had to be insanely attractive – in an alternative, laid-back kind of way.

He wasn’t even your type; you preferred more refined men who wore pressed suits and leather shoes, but you had to admit this man was insanely attractive.

With deep, sunken eyes, a dark tattoo across the bridge of his nose and dark hair twisted into twin ponytails, large, muscular body covered in a black sweatshirt and a red scarf – he looked very much like a former member of a gang who retired because their barbaric ways wasn’t his thing. It was an odd theory, and you sat there at the corner of the store, glaring at the man who tiredly pressed the coffee maker machine for a dark roast.

As if feeling eyes on him, his lazy eyes slid over to yours, and almost automatically, one corner of his lips tilted up in humor. This fucker knew how much he annoyed you, and he only further pushed your buttons by walking over to you, the steam of his coffee nearly blocking your gaze.

“Good morning,” he greeted sarcastically, well aware that it definitely not a good morning for you.

“Have fun last night, neighbor?”

“Yes.”

“Jeez, you won’t even bother denying it?”

“I see no point in it,” he invited himself by sitting next to you, long legs crossed over his muscular thigh. You found yourself staring at how he seemed so firm even in loose sweatpants, averting your gaze and staring at your soggy ramen noodle cup instead.  “And you’re not trying to hide the fact you’re listening, either.”

“I wasn’t listening!” you slammed your fist down the table – he didn’t even flinch, only continuing to sip his coffee as if you weren’t burning in anger beside him – as you hissed, “The walls are too damn thin and you’re so fucking loud.”

“No, I wasn’t. She was loud, though.”

Scoffing, you crossed your arms against your chest. He really was shameless. You already knew this man didn’t have enough shame in his body, but you didn’t think he’d have absolutely nothing.

Upon witnessing your stupefied state, he reached over to knock at your skull. “Still there, princess?” you cringed at his nickname for you; you didn’t even know this guy’s name, for pete’s sake! “Or are you still too bothered by the fact I got some good fucking last night?”

You flicked his arm away from you, nearly seething in your seat. “God, you’re insufferable. I should move out.”

“Yes, I think that would be for the best too,” he nodded to himself as he stared at his now empty coffee cup. Had it been that long already? Apparently, it was, because your noodles turned cold and your neighbor was already leaving your seat, dipping for a mocking bow. “Have a nice day, neighbor. Don’t think of my cock too much,” he teased, even going as far as winking until your jaw dropped.

You watched as he threw the paper cup in the proper bin, a little surprised he was decent enough to do mundane tasks like that. Sometimes, it was so easy to forget your neighbor was also a decent human being, but whatever.

You absolutely, utterly hated him, and you kept mumbling to yourself of the different ways you’d get your revenge on him as he walked out the door, his annoyingly gorgeous ass in view. “Yeah, right,” you scowled to yourself, “As if I can get that image out my mind now.”

He would not be an easy feat.

Despite your constant pleas for him to at least be silent during the weekdays to give you enough peace of mind to study for the finals, he didn’t stop. Hours just after the sun sets, you’d hear giggles and sloppy kisses on the hallway.

No matter how much you pressed your hands into your ears and set your music on full volume to block out the noise, you could always hear them.

Your neighbor was undeniably a fuckboy. 

Every night, he’d have a different girl dangling in his arms. You knew, because the voices squealing his name while he fucked them right next door were always different. Some days, it was deep and throaty, and on other days it’d be high-pitched and nearly scraping at your ears. They all said the same thing though, such as fuck, right there, you feel so good or harder, harder, please, I’m so close!

To say you were traumatized was an understatement. You never wanted to hear such things again, but alas, your neighbor apparently couldn’t give a single shit because he was fucking someone again.

As if things couldn’t get worse, the person he brought home this time around just had to have the most fucking annoying voice ever. Or maybe it sounded like the others, but you were in the middle of memorizing veins and brain chemicals in alphabetical harder when you heard the headboard of his bed slam against your wall, the sound hard and loud enough you dropped your book in surprise.

They didn’t stop. If anything, he kept going harder until nothing but his low sexy groans and his partner’s screaming – that was right, she was fucking screaming – like she was having her insides rearranged.

You didn’t doubt the possibility that maybe she really was. Your neighbor was such a huge, attractive guy, after all, it would make sense he was capable of such. Before you knew it, you could no longer understand the words in your textbook. You kept rereading the same line over and over again, but nothing registered into your mind. You were so close to screaming at them to stop and shut the fuck up because it was three in the morning and they were still going at it, but you weren’t that mean.

Yes, you hated him, but you weren’t going to blue ball someone or make sex awkward. Sex with your ex was always awkward, so you knew how painful it was to live with that memory. No matter how much you hated your neighbor, you wouldn’t go that far.

So you trudged all the way up to the building’s public balcony, bringing a blanket with you to survive the chilly bite of the night.

You used your phone’s flashlight to read all over the textbooks, keeping your little note cards organized and color coded beside you. Finally, you could make sense of things a little bit more, and you chugged at your Red Bull to keep you awake. Time passed by so fast whenever you were lost with your nose stuck in a book, and your attention was only ripped away when the balcony door swung open, revealing your neighbor with messed up hair and bruised lips.

He looked totally fucked out.

“Oh, fuck, no – what are you doing here?”

“This balcony is for all tenants,” your neighbor barely blinked as he walked closer to you, but instead of joining you on the table, he leaned against the railings and stared into the night sky. He seemed so placid, a little approachable despite his intimidating face even, and for a moment, you were studying his sharp, masculine features before he turned your way with a passive face. “Last time I checked, I’m a tenant, therefore I have the rights to be here.”

“I don’t care,” you retorted childishly, pulling your books closer to you as if he wanted to steal it. He only raised a brow at your actions, the large muscles of his arms bulging up from where he stood.

It felt so hard to not salivate at the sight, but for the sake of your pride, you had to push those thoughts down and remind yourself why you hated him so much. “I evoke your rights. You’re not welcome here.”

“You’re awfully harsh to a stranger.”

“You’re not a stranger, you’re my neighbor who brings girls in his home every night and I can never get a wink of sleep because all I can hear is them moaning and the sound of balls slapping!”

“Vulgar,” he smirked, and he had no business looking so attractive with that arrogant smirk on his face that it took all energy you had in you to not whack him with your book.

“I think I deserve an apology.”

“I think you should mind your business.”

You stood up with a scowl, nearly shoving the book right in his chest. “Bro, I’m this close to slapping this book right in your pretty face. You see how thick this is? I’m not kidding, this will hurt. Listen, I’ve got a final exam and a suture practice this weekend. All I’m asking for is just a few hours of sleep – that’s all. I just don’t get why you always seem to be balls deep in someone at every god forsaken hour; I can’t focus on my work when the noises are so distracting. At this point, I remember their begging more than I’m familiar with nerves. I need to study, okay? I really want to graduate.”

He fell silent at your sudden rant, then, he tilted his head to the side, a small smile on his lips. “You think I have a pretty face?”

“After everything I said, that’s all you remember?”

“It’s kind of hard to listen to every word when I’m distracted by your eyes.”

His comment caught you off-guard, and your eyes widened, arm coming up to hide your face that soon began to felt warm. He only chuckled at your reaction, the sound deep and throaty that it went right straight into the pools of your belly. “My eyes – what are you talking about? Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You’re so creepy!”

“Hmm,” he snickered, “That’s the first time I’ve heard that.”

“What, no one tells you you’re creepy?”

“No, people always say I’m handsome,” he said it with such a straight face that you gave him an are you serious look, and he raised one shoulder to shrug. “I’m surprised you’re not attracted to me, to be honest.”

“Wow,” you drawled out, shaking your head with a laugh as you plopped down back to your seat in defeat. “Aren’t you full of surprises? First, I get a really horny man as my next door neighbor who keeps me up at night with his shenanigans, and now he’s got the audacity to ask me why I’m not attracted to him?”

“I mean,” he scrunched his nose cutely, a huge contrast to his domineering stature. “Why aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I give up. I’m just gonna crash at my friends tonight,” you mumbled to yourself while gathering your things, leaving your neighbor all by himself. As you reached the door, you called out to him one more time, “Oh, and by the way, you reek of pussy. Go shower or something.”

“So how’s your exams going?”

“They’re fine,” you lied through gritted teeth, slicing through the fish a lot harsher than you intended. The knife scraped against the plate and you winced at the sound, ignoring your father’s loud munching. “Not too much of a big deal. My professors are nice and my classmates are nice too. I’m fitting in really well and I think I’ll even come out on top of my class this time if it weren’t for that stupid little bastard…” your last words ended up as a whisper, eyes glazing to the side as you glared at nothing in particular.

“Stupid little what?”

“Nothing, nothing,” you waved your hand in the air, “Someone’s just distracting me from my studies, is all.”

At the mention of someone distracting your usually composed and unbothered self, your father straightened up in his seat, a large smile on his face that made him look younger than he really was. “Is it a guy? Do you finally have a boyfriend?”

“Ugh, dad, really, you’re the only father who’s so eager for his daughter to have a boyfriend. Shouldn’t you be more proud that, I don’t know, I’m pretty and smart? I don’t need a boyfriend or anything.”

Your father nodded, “True, you don’t need them, but trust me when I say life is going to get pretty lonely when you grow old and you’re all by yourself. It’s still better – and life is a lot happier – when you’ve got a stable supporting and loving figure in your life.”

“I have you for that.”

“And you always will,” he patted your hand gently across the table, “But a parent won’t always be there for their child, and if you’re still not prepared for the future or ready to stand on your own two feet, then that means I didn’t do a great job at raising you; that means I’ve failed as a parent. Tell me, have I failed? Have I raised my wonderful daughter to be so repulsed by the idea of love that she’s willingly closing her doors and locking herself away in isolation?”

“No…”

“I didn’t think so,” he grinned to himself, and you watched with a frown as his eyes crinkled in happiness. Your father was such the complete opposite of you; he was always so loving and open to everyone, while you were mopey and afraid of attachment.

“Don’t be too afraid to love, child. It’s one of the most wonderful things in this world – it’s a blessing – the absolute core of our being. Why do we exist if not to love?”

“Not everyone is a romantic like you, dad,” you sighed, “Plus…how is it so easy for you to finally find someone after Mom died? Isn’t she your soul mate?” you questioned, putting your fork and knife down as you looked your father in the eye. “I just can’t believe you’re getting married again.”

“It’s already been years since she passed away, Y/N. And yes, she is my soul mate, but that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of loving someone again. Our hearts aren’t limited like that, and your mother wouldn’t want me to keep mourning her when she’s resting in peace,” he gestured to the both of you after swallowing his food, “She would’ve wanted the both of us to be happy.”

At the mention of your passed mother, your shoulders deflated, and your eyes watered at the thought of her kind smile. You wished you could see that again.

“I miss her…”

“I know, child, I know,” your father smiled encouragingly, “I also know the reason you’re so afraid to love is because you’re scared they’ll end up leaving you too, like how your mom just slipped past our fingers like that, but it’s only her body that withered. She’s still with us, right in our hearts and in our memories.”

“You really do sound like a lovesick fool.”

“That’s because I am,” your father laughed with a slap to his knees. When his phone buzzed for his alarm, he quickly dabbed a towel on his lips, standing up to excuse himself. “Now, this lunch was lovely and I dearly missed you, but I need to go back to work. We doctors just never get a break. This is a life you have to prepare for if you want to follow my footsteps.”

“I won’t follow your footsteps – I’ll surpass you.”

“I’ll be waiting for that to happen then,” he announced proudly; pride bursting in his chest at how determined his daughter was. “Oh, and Y/N?”

“Yes?” You squinted at the mischievous look in his eyes, wary of what your cunning father had in mind this time.

“You won’t outsmart me. You better bring a boyfriend or at least introduce someone to me on the wedding – or else I’m pulling you out of the university hospital.”

“Wha – Dad, that’s not fair!”

“All is fair in love and war, child, you’ll learn soon.”

“Oh, I just hate men!”

You really did hate men.

Your final exam was tomorrow already and you’d lost count of the coffee and Red Bull you’ve inhaled today, all so you could study one last time for the test, but no, something – or rather someone – just had to get in your way.

“I’ve had enough,” you announced before slamming your door open; not hesitating as your fists came banging down on your neighbor’s door. “Hey! Keep it the fuck down – someone’s trying to study here! Seriously, man, is it really that hard for you to keep it in your pants for one night? This is what, the sixth woman you’ve had around the past four days? Don’t you get tired? Because I sure as hell am very tired of you!”

The moans and the sounds of bed creaking stopped. For a moment, you almost smirked to yourself when they fell silent.

If only you knew it would be that easy to shut them up, you would’ve done so long ago. You were about to turn back into your room when his door swung open, and you were met by his sweaty and muscular chest heaving up and down – either in anger or from his previous activities – you couldn’t tell.

Your throat felt dry as you peered at him under your lashes, almost afraid of the way he loomed over you. Thank goodness he found the time to wear pants, though, because had he been baby naked, you would’ve run for the hills already.

His dark eyes cut through yours as he seethed, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m the one who wants to ask you that,” you were surprised to find your voice despite the way your pussy actually ached just by the sight of his chiseled body, but when you did, you forced yourself to stand up taller, refusing to back down from his gaze. “It’s literally three in the morning and you’re about to fuck a hole through my wall!”

“I thought you said you’d be crashing at your friends. What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I had to have your permission to come back home. Next time, I’ll give you a heads-up, good sir. And for your information, unlike you, I actually don’t like bothering the people around me so I came home. Now would you please kick her out and shut the fuck up for once?”

“Babe, are you coming back here or what?”

Red acrylic nails wound from his body out of nowhere, and your mouth fell open as you watched the naked woman press kisses on the blades of his shoulder. You were conflicted, torn between feeling jealous that she got to touch him like that because damn was he fine, but you also felt appalled your neighbor would be this type of person.

“Babe?” you repeated with a sarcastic laugh.

Stepping away from your neighbor’s tempting pecs, you waved to the stunning woman behind him. “Hi, I’m his neighbor, I don’t mean to be a cock block or anything but I’ve been a witness to his fuckboy ways for months now. If you think you’re special to him, I assure you, you’re not. Yesterday he was just banging two girls until the sunrise. If you’re really as sane as I hope you are, I suggest you skedaddle before this man feeds you with more lies. You’re not special, hun, he’s just going to fuck everything that walks on two legs.”

“Is that true?”

“Nadia, you know how this works—”

“I was literally just on the phone with you last night!” the woman named Nadia pushed him away, but because he was bigger, he didn’t budge. Nadia turned to you, her lipstick smudged and a suspicious white stain on the edge of her lips. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look down her head, and you and your neighbor both watched as she got dressed and left, hands up in the air. “Thank you for this. I should’ve known better than to waste time and money on him.”

You snickered as Nadia pressed on the elevator buttons, a scowl sent his way. Turning to him with pride swelling up in your chest, you smirked, “How does it feel—”

“Happy now?” he growled, his eyes so dark and slit into tiny cuts you took a step back, your heart pumping frantically for different reasons. You never thought he’d be this bothered for not being able to bust a nut. “Satisfied now, Y/N? Do you even realize what you’ve just done?”

“Uhm, yes,” you scoffed, matching his tone. “I just saved that poor girl’s life. Who else knows what you would’ve done and said to her. We don’t deserve to be looked down on and treated like this, you know.”

“Neither did I. I’m just doing my job.”

“Job? You don’t even have a job! You don’t even go to university for fuck’s sake – your apartment is rundown and smells like sour cunt and feet! Maybe you should even thank me because I’m trying to give you ideas on better things to do!”

“Yeah, and be like you?” he snapped, tugging at the strings of your hoodie until you fell a step forward. “Dressed in loose shirts to hide the fact you’ve got no tits and your ass is flatter than your back? Lying to her neighbor that she’ll crash somewhere but ends up waddling back home anyway because she’s always cooped up in her apartment studying to prove that she’s not as worthless as she is and that she doesn’t have a life or friends to begin with?” tears pooled at your eyes at his words, and you knew it hurt because it was true, but did he really have to say it that way?

However, his anger got the best of him, and he didn’t stop there. “I don’t want to be like you. I don’t want to skip meals and lose sleep studying for something I don’t care about because I don’t know anything else other than following daddy’s footsteps so he’d notice me more than his new bride. I’m happy with my life.”

“How did—”

“Like you said, the walls are thin. You’re not exactly so quiet to yourself, neighbor. It’s kind of pathetic you talk to the walls when you think I’m asleep because you’ve got no one else to talk to.”

Hands balled into fists at your side, you stood on your tiptoes to spit the words out. “You’re a terrible human being,” no matter how much you tried to exert dominance over him, your lips still quivered as you fought back the urge to cry. “Go fuck yourself.”

“You’re the one who needs to go fuck yourself and get laid,” he didn’t let you have another word as he slammed the door in your face, but you still heard him through the door anyway. “Uptight bitch.”

You were wrong.

Your neighbor wasn’t just difficult – he was completely impossible.

[Dad:] Don’t forget your date!

[You:] Dad…don’t push it.

[Dad:] I find it hard to believe my beautiful daughter can’t have one. Go out there and make some friends, Y/N, I know you isolate yourself too much. It doesn’t even have to be a boyfriend. You could date a girl for all I care. I just don’t want you to be too bored at the wedding. Bring a friend.

[You:] Fine, fine, okay.

[Dad:] But a boyfriend would still be better. Your old man isn’t getting any younger and I want grandkids in the future.

[You:] Dad!

[Dad:] love ya kid !

And so it was the turn of your events that had you groaning in your swiveling chair, the grip on your phone so tight you wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up breaking it. As if your week couldn’t get any more horrible with your neighbor’s hurtful words still living at the back of your mind, your father hadn’t stopped talking about you to his co-workers and his equally crazy mother that your grandmother didn’t waste time in calling you.

You loved your nan, you really did, but more often than not, she was much more of a pain in the ass than your father was. The old woman was ruthless, shooting you question by question on why her pretty granddaughter was still single, then came the demeaning comments of how you “weren’t living life to the fullest.”

Frustration eating away at you, you let out a silent scream.

The escort site blinked back at you mockingly, temptingly, as if to remind you that your problems could easily be solved with just a click. You chastised yourself for always having the need to solve problems fast and as easily as you could, because before you even realized what you were doing, your heart started beating a mile a minute as the other line kept ringing.

You ended up lying to your grandmother that yes, nan, I have a boyfriend, can I study for my exams now please, to which the pressing woman responded with, oh, finally! well, I won’t bother you anymore. study well, my dear, I can’t wait to see him!

Just thinking about how she would react if you came alone at your father’s wedding had you breaking out in a sweat, and you chewed at your nails while waiting for the site to pick up.

You were truly desperate now, so much so that you were actually calling a rental boy site.

“Good afternoon, thank you for calling Kamo Escorts! I’m Ijichi, here to assist you. What can I help you with?”

You held back a really painful cringe, biting the insides of your cheek as you got your heart to calm down. “Uhm, yeah…so this is like my first time c-calling a site like this and I don’t know what to do but…yeah.”

“I see, we get new callers too. Would you like a guide?”

“Yes, please, that’d be great thank you.”

“Kamo Escorts is all about, well, as you can see on our webpage – we have men and even women you can hire to escort you on special events. We mostly cater to clients who only need a pretty face to dangle off their arm for social company or even care, or whatever reasons the client may have and the relationship is purely business and professional, but in some cases, the escorts may have sex with the client too under the condition they are paid more.”

The gasp that left your lips was barely stifled, and you furrowed your brows at the implication. “Wh-what, so that’s like a real thing? Isn’t this…?”

Ijichi chuckled from the other line, almost as if he’d been asked this question many times before. “In a way, it is, which is why Kamo Escorts is commercially advertised for purely social company only. You may, however, negotiate with your escort if you would like more services, but we do require that you keep our escorts’ dignity and not look down on them. The service we provide may not be your typical honorable one, but we are dedicated and equally eager to be of service to this society. Should we find that you’re dehumanizing or harassing our escort, we won’t hesitate to…take some action,” the light warning of his tone didn’t go unnoticed by you, and Ijichi took note of your hesitant silence. “Would you still like to proceed?”

“Ye-yeah, I didn’t want the sex anyway.”

“Very well, then. What event are we looking for?”

“It’s for a relative’s wedding,” you supplied, “I need a date.”

“Any preference in escorts? Male, female, tall, short, sociable or introverted?”

Your eyes widened, your back flattening against your chair. “Oh, wow, so this is like a Build-A-Bear, okay, wait,” you chewed your nails again, racking up on your mind on who or what exactly you liked. “My ideal guy is…someone tall, and has pretty broad shoulders…I think I prefer a more introverted one too because people with too much energy sort of drains me…and someone caring and attentive, yes. Handsome too – but if that’s too much to ask for then—”

“It’s okay, Miss. I assure you all our escorts are definitely blessed in the gene department.”

At his confidence, you scrunched your nose and made yourself small on your chair. “Okay, but now that you say it, if he’s too handsome then I’m going to look like a potato next to him.”

“We’ll find someone compatible for you; we always never fail to please our clients. We’ll be able to match you with a more suitable escort if you’re more descriptive with what you want.”

“Okay, okay,” you continued, “Oh, and I like guys with long hair too, but really, anything is fine. I just want someone to effortlessly pretend they’re enamored after just one date and that they’re very glad to be there with me on the wedding. It’s even better if they’re introverted but can communicate well and isn’t shy at all. My relatives are kind of…freaky.”

Freaky couldn’t even begin to describe the chaos of your relatives.

In fact, had you not been paying for this service, you would’ve almost felt bad for the guy. He had no idea what he had coming for him – but then again, neither did you.

“I think we’ve got just the perfect guy for you,” Ijichi answered after a beat, “May I ask when is this event and how long you’d like to book the escort service for?”

“The event is in two weeks. I don’t need to meet him before the wedding because I’m very busy with exams, so I hope this guy can just act really well. As for the duration…I think just one day is enough. After the wedding, I’m coming right back home.”

“Convenient then,” he mused to himself, and you heard slight clicking from his side. “Let’s see…someone introverted and able to communicate well…definitely not Satoru, and his entirely booked by sugar mommies too…” Ijichi whispered to himself, followed by a slight humorous snort. “One last question: would you like someone older, younger, or the same age as you?”

“I’m in uni – I’d be more comfortable if they were closer to my age.”

“Oh, perfect, his schedule is oddly open for the whole month. Wonder what happened, he’s barely had free slots before…” the man was speaking to himself again, and you sat there pouting, even more dumbfounded at how this whole process worked.

Ijichi talked about this escort service and guided you so easily you almost couldn’t believe that it was as…simple as that. You didn’t know what you were expecting, but deep down in your mind, you were waiting for something fishy or weird to happen.

“I found someone for you. He’s one of our best escorts and I believe he’ll be great for this event. However, due to privacy issues, the disclosure of contacts and personal information can only happen once the escort agrees to this service. We’ll shortly get back to you if he’s up for the job. If not, I’ll find you another one quickly; you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Okay, thank you so much!”

“It’s our pleasure. Thank you for contacting Kamo Escorts – we hope to see you again!”

Once the call ended, you fell back on your bed with a sigh. Your neighbor wasn’t around the whole day, leaving you in peace and silence, and you took advantage of the rare quietness by pulling out a book. Hours passed, and you were nearly finished with half the textbook, fingers slightly numb from practicing sutures over and over again when your phone lit up with a text.

It came from an unknown number, but the words were loud and clear. Hey, this is Choso, I’ll be your escort for the wedding. Please text me here for the details and what else you expect from my service. I’m only a text and call away, please don’t hesitate to ask me for anything else.

You blinked at your phone, unsure of how to process the whole thing.

So it was official now – you rented an escort and you had a date for the event. Quite frankly, you were kind of expecting that escorts would be a lot more…flirtatious or even eager to please, but this Choso guy sounded too formal for you to picture yourself having this stranger be a good company for your event. Ijichi sounded so sure though that you no longer questioned it; smiling instead now that you’ve finally solved one of your problems.

Life felt a lot easier.

At around four in the morning, you were too worn out to keep going. Your exam was in the afternoon so you still had plenty of time to sleep, your stomach grumbled, prompting you to leave your unit to get some snacks.

Keys in hand and feet cold in your socks, you locked your door, halting in your steps when you saw your neighbor. Different from his usual comfortable clothing, he was dressed in a formal white shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his large, masculine hands coming up to loosen his tie. He wasn’t aware of your presence, almost blindly walking to his door and sighing. You didn’t miss the fact his shoulders were slumped, and he looked absolutely worn out.

For a moment, you actually felt worried, until you remembered what he said to you.

“What, no pussy to fuck tonight?”

He froze in front of his door for a moment, slightly tilting back to see your aggravated stance. Upon seeing it was just you, he shook his head and turned back to unlock his door. “No thanks to you.”

“Aw, did I ruin your reputation?” you mocked sarcastically, “I’m surprised people aren’t smart enough to pick up the smell of women’s perfume on you already. Seriously, are people that desperate for touch?” It was ironic; you’d never admit it, but you weren’t any better than them. You were equally desperate to be touched despite your aversion to romantic relationships, but he didn’t need to know that.

“It’s normal when you’re someone people are naturally attracted to. Not that you’d get it, of course, because it’s clear you don’t get some.”

“At least my apartment doesn’t smell like pussy.”

“At least I don’t masturbate every night then pass out after one weak orgasm.”

Your cheeks burned at his offhanded comment, and even with his back turned to you, you could see the slight smile tugging at his cheeks. He must’ve felt so cocky, thinking that he’d defeated you, so you blurted out the most intelligent thing possible: “How dare you!” while grabbing onto his shoulders to make him face you. “Look me in the eye and take that back!”

“Whatever you’re planning,” he crooned, head tilted to the side and making strands of his bangs fall over his eyes. He looked absolutely handsome under the flickering lights of the hallway in that moment, and you hated how you weren’t able to take your hands off of his strong shoulders, his masculine and spicy perfume clouding your mind. “It’s not going to work. Surprise surprise, but you’re not as cute as you think you are.”

Your eyes burned with fire, the nerves in your body so closing to popping. He infuriated you so much. “And you’re not as sexy as you believe you are!”

“Oh, yeah?” The positions are suddenly switched as he cornered you beside his doorframe, both of his arms planted beside your head. Because he was taller, he had to lean down to look you in the eye, his warm, minty breath brushing over your lips. You stared at him with wide eyes, fingers raking over the wall in a silent attempt to flee. Upon seeing your pursed lips, he laughed.

“Then why are you so shaky? Do I make you nervous?” his head dipped down, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. “Say…you only pretend to hate me, but you actually wish it was you I’m fucking every night, don’t you? Tell me…do you touch yourself when you hear me eating someone out?”

“I-I’m not—”

Before you could combust under his gaze, he pulled himself away from you, a satisfied smirk on his face at your flustered state. He chuckled lowly, keys spinning on his thick finger. “I was just teasing you, princess. No need to get so worked up.”

“I never want you near me again!”

He raised both brows as if to challenge you, and you knew from the glint in his eyes he was up to no good. “Princess, you jumped on me first.”

“I didn’t!” You shouted, immediately slapping your palm over your lips after realizing people were sleeping. He snickered at your reactions, and you pushed past him back to your unit, suddenly losing the appetite to get your precious snacks. “God, I hate you so much.”

“Believe me, the feeling is mutual.”

Difficult. Unbelievable. Complicated. Idiotic. Nothing was ever easy with him.

“Would you stop fidgeting?” your father scolded from his chair, his body barely moving as the stylists fixed his hair and makeup, but his eyes glared at you from the mirror. “You’re a lot more nervous than I am, and it’s my wedding.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it.”

Your father sighed to himself, standing up after they were done with him. He checked his appearance in the mirror for a while, nodding to himself in satisfaction. It was still a little surreal that he was going to get married again, to a woman half his age of all people, but he was happy, and his bride seemed to really love him too, so you no longer questioned your father’s decisions. He was an adult, anyway, he could make his own decisions.

“You’re waiting for your boyfriend, you say?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s he like?”

You stiffened at the question. Not wanting your sharp-eyed father to pick up on the smallest cues, you lied through your teeth despite not having any idea on who or what kind of person the escort was.

Other than discussing details of how you two supposedly met, conversations had been crisp and short. You were lucky that the escort seemed to be nice and smart enough to not always ask you to explain everything, and he was crisp and curt in his texts too. No flirty or suggestive messages, not even a single emoji. He seemed a little stiff, and while you worried if you could fake chemistry with someone who seemed like a wall, you were also assured by the fact he wasn’t some creep.

“Nice. He’s sweet. You’ll like him.”

“And when did you meet him?”

“Dad, do I have to tell this story all over again?” you groaned, “We met after exams, he goes to a different uni and he studies law—”

“Law. Impressive.”

“Of course you’re impressed,” you rolled your eyes. Coming from a family of doctors and engineers, your father, and pretty much everyone else in the family, also expected that you’d date someone who was equally intelligent and had enough connections in different industries at least. It just so happened you were really lucky your escort also really did study law for a bit before he became an escort; a detail you never got enough explanation for. “He’ll be here anytime soon. Just you wait.”

In reality, you were the one who couldn’t wait.

You were excited and nervous at the same time to see this mysterious escort, and you were in the middle of talking to your father and his bride when someone called you.

“Y/N?”

You turned around with a bright grin. That must be him! You clasped at the hems of your dress so you could meet this mysterious, rigid man properly, but the moment your eyes met his equally startled gaze, you choked on your own breath. “Y-you—”

Choso stood before you; handsome as ever in his suit and tie, his iconic twin tails still there. How ever would your father believe you now that he was a lawyer, especially with his messy hair and face tattoo? You loved it and found it sexy on him, no denying that, but your father was a little bit more traditional. But that aside, it was Choso?!

His professionalism arose and he regained his composure quicker than you did, the smile on his face so natural and alluring even you almost fell for it.

Choso wrapped an arm around your waist before kissing you on the cheek, and the skin felt extremely hot under his lips. You couldn’t move, couldn’t even speak, because Choso was pressed flush against you, and he looked at you with stars shining in his eyes you didn’t know whether to be flattered or afraid.

Maybe a fucked up mix of both.

“I’m sorry I’m late. Traffic was bad,” he explained with a small smile on his lips, and he looked so handsome and smelled so good in that moment you were left gaping at him as he bowed to your father, arm politely extended. “You must be Y/N’s father. It’s very nice to meet you sir. I’m her boyfriend, Choso.”

To your surprise, your father eagerly shook his hand with the brightest grin he’d worn the whole night before he faced you with a laugh. “No way,” he beamed, gesturing to Choso. “He’s your boyfriend? You managed to snag this fine man?”

“Dad!” your ears burned with embarrassment. Choso only laughed; making you painfully aware of his large, warm hand resting at the small of your back.

“I heard you’re a lawyer, son?”

“Yes, sir.”

Your father nodded in approval, the two exchanging over words about what his plans were for the future and how his studies were going. You stood there with a pounding heart, fearful that Choso could fuck up any moment, but he was so effortless and easy going. Had you not been the one paying him, you would’ve been fooled too.

So this was the life of an escort.

“So how much did my daughter pay you?”

“Dad, I didn’t—”

“I mean, there’s no way she actually charmed you with her non-existent social skills. My daughter here can’t even talk to someone and look them in the eye, much less ask someone out, so how did this happen?”

Choso laughed at your father’s lighthearted comment, saving the day for what seemed like the hundredth time already. “I approached her first, sir. We were both eating in this small diner and it was cramped, so we shared tables and started conversation,” Suddenly, his grip tightened on you as he pulled you closer, your ear now resting above the lulling and steady beating of his heart. How was he so calm?

He lightly squeezed your hip and it had you freezing under his touch, stiffening even more when he looked down at you so adoringly. “Guess it went downhill from there.” God, you had no idea who this man was.

“Really? What did you guys talk about?”

Choso opened his mouth to speak, but it was there, that damned glint on those dark eyes again that you clutched at his bicep. He may be damn good at this job, but knowing Choso, he was enjoying this way too much.

Anything you couldn’t predict or control properly was a huge no in your game, and you pulled Choso away before he could say something downright humiliating.

“Dad, just go focus on your wedding. I want to spend time with my boyfriend, okay?” You couldn’t even begin to fathom the inward cringe upon your words, the feeling only worsening when Choso fought back a laugh masked with a cough. Before your father could say anything else, you dragged Choso rather harshly, but he didn’t mind; he followed you obediently. “Come with me. I need to talk to you,” You didn’t stop until you were both alone in a desolated corner, and finally, you hissed at him. “What are you doing here?!”

“I should be asking you the same thing – but it turns out you’re my client.”

“Client? So you really are my escort?”

“Yes, I am.”

“So those women…”

“All my clients,” he confirmed your thoughts. “I assure you they knew what they were getting into. In fact, they were the ones who asked for that special service that caused you to lose your sleep every night. That woman the other day was just pissed because she booked me for three days, but I lied that I was available until the duration she wanted when I wasn’t.”

“You mean you were still working an escort for somebody else?”

He shrugged. “Pretty much.”

“Why did you lie then?”

“It’s more money,” Choso stared down at his hands before his eyes flitted back up to yours, his face unreadable. “I’m saving up so I can move somewhere else. Our apartment isn’t exactly the most ideal considering my profession. I need to find someplace quieter with thicker walls this time,” he smiled, “That way, I’ll no longer bother my sweet neighbor,” your lips felt dry at his words, your tongue darting out to lick at them while Choso scrutinized you under his gaze.

“I have to admit though – you asking for escort service is the last thing I’d ever imagine you doing. Not that I’m complaining since it’s still money in my pocket, but you’re not the most pleasing company to be with.”

“Oh, you bet, Choso. Had I known you were going to be my escort, I would’ve declined long ago,” you groaned, your head dropping in your hands. “What was Ijichi thinking when he said I would be compatible with you?”

“You’re not,” he stated, “But I am compatible with you – as I am with pretty much everyone else. I’m one of the best escorts, and soon you’ll see why.”

You didn’t understand what he meant by then, but it seemed Choso was quite eager to show his skills off when he dragged you back inside the reception event. The whole time, you couldn’t pay attention to anything or anyone else other than Choso. It still felt hard to believe that the whole time, he really was doing his job, and upon seeing how easily he had people believing you two were an item despite you just standing silently beside him, you felt guilty that you disrupted his “work” like that.

Guilt gnawed at you as Choso made everyone laugh, and soon your relatives were cooing, praising you and congratulating you that you were “happy” now.

Back then, you always looked down on him and even called him a mere fuckboy, but Choso was so much more than that. He was intelligent; his past as a lawyer proved that, and whatever happened that caused him to work in this industry kept lingering in your mind.

There was no denying it now.

You respected this man – admired him even.

“And now it’s time to join the newly married couple on the dance floor! Come on, people, bring your dates up here for a twirl!”

You remained planted in your seat, too comfortable with Choso’s jacket draped around your bare shoulders. You’d lost count of how many times your head ducked down for the lack of sleep, and as much as you loved your dad, you wanted nothing more than to go home and rest.

Choso offered his hand to yours, a teasing smile on his face. He wriggled his eyebrows up and down, and he looked so utterly ridiculous that you couldn’t believe the boring man you were texting was the same infuriating yet undeniably attractive bastard who was your neighbor was the same fun. The world is very small, it seemed, and you weren’t sure whether you were brave enough to venture these strange places and feelings.

“Uh-uh. No. I’m not dancing.”

“Two left feet?”

“No, I’m wearing heels. My feet hurts.”

“Then take it off.”

“And get my feet dirty?” you scoffed. As if to prove your point, you snuggled deeper into his jacket that smelled heavenly like him, closing your eyes as you pretended to sleep. “Sitting here isn’t so bad. Plus, look at them, all staring at each other with goo-goo eyes. It’s revolting,” you shuddered.

Through the sickeningly romantic music playing in the background, Choso fell silent. You cracked an eye open, frowning when Choso studied each of your features carefully. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You seem to hate the idea of love.”

“Because it’s pointless.”

Choso narrowed his eyes at your answer, brows bunching up at the way your shoulders squared to keep yourself away. Then, he stood up and sighed, offering his hand to you once more.

“I won’t really ask you to explain why, because frankly, I don’t care,” you stared at his large palms for a few seconds. There must be a ghost possessing your body because you looped your fingers through his and allowed him to guide you on the dance floor despite your mind’s protests, and soon, Choso’s eyes were all over you. “But if you don’t want your money to go down the drain and you really want to convince everyone, I suggest you forget about that mindset for just a few more hours,” his voice dropped down to a low whisper, his forehead pressed to yours. His eyes turned solemn, his hand on your waist gentle. “Dance with me. Let’s show them how madly in love we are with each other.”

“We met just last week, remember?”

“Love at first sight, princess,” Choso kissed your forehead, sending your heart thumping and running to another dimension. Oddly enough, you didn’t mind, and your hands travelled from his strong arms to his broad shoulders instinctively. “Take your heels off. You can step on my feet and I’ll dance for us both. Just put your arms around my neck – yes just like that,” he nodded with a smile when your fingertips nervously played with his hair, and Choso began to dance you both in time with the music. “Are you good?”

“I don’t like this lack of space between us.”

Choso smirked, “Why, do I get you all hot and bothered?”

“Jesus, Choso, you can’t be serious for a minute, huh?”

“It’s kind of hard to be serious when you’re so flustered and adorable right now,” you pulled at his hair in response, but of course, he wasn’t really hurt.

“Look at me,” he demanded, but you refused, keeping your gaze planted on your bare feet on top of his again. “Hey. I said look at me,” he tilted your chin up until you’re forced to be like prey under his gaze, his breath tickling the bow of your lips. “I am your escort for tonight – and I humbly ask that you do your part as my client so I can perform my job well. I need you to look into my eyes and pretend you’re in love with me.”

“I don’t want to fall in love with anyone,” you suddenly admitted, “I’m scared.”

“You don’t have to be,” he replied, softly this time, and his hands ran down tenderly to your hips to pull you closer to him. “I’ll be there to catch you.”

You couldn’t remember who leaned in first. The only thing you remembered was that the music faded in the background when you kissed him – or maybe he kissed you – fuck, you didn’t really remember. Eventually, the kiss grew too heated, his hands squeezing your waist while you moan at the taste of chocolate and wine on his expert tongue.

Choso easily read your mind and swooped you away from the crowd, the both of you stumbling until you made it out to the venue and onto the beach.

The salty air kissed your skin while Choso carried you bridal style, arms looped around his neck while he kept moving his lips above yours. He was laughing through the kiss with how messy and eager you were, tugging at his shirt to encourage him to unbutton it. Choso set you both down on the darker, isolated part of the beach where nothing but the sound of waves lapping against one another could be heard with your breathless pants and his chuckles.

You were lying on his jacket, dress bunched up to your chest while your legs were spread wide open for him. “Ch-Choso,” you choked out when his tongue ran flat across your slick folds, his hands keeping your hips pinned down to the sand. “I-I, please.”

“I got you, princess,” was all he said before he completely dived into your heat, his sharp nose brushing into your cunt.

It didn’t take long until you were spasming in his hold, legs closing around his head. Choso groaned into your pussy, a finger working its way inside your sopping cunt while he licks and slurps your arousal like it was fucking water. Now you understood why those girls always lost their mind – Choso was a fucking expert when it came to worshipping pussy.

Choso pulled his fingers out of you, making you whine at the sudden emptiness, but he was kind, eager to please you that he immediately replaced it with his tongue.

You cried out when you felt his tongue entering your hole, one thumb pulling the hood of your lips up to reveal your sensitive pearl. Choso rubbed your clit fervently, his other hand reaching up to squeeze and tug at your breasts while he drank your juices dripping down his tongue as if you would be his last meal – and he honestly wished you were, because you tasted like heaven on him and he wanted more.

Once he felt you clamping down on his tongue so tightly he struggled to retrieve his warm muscle back, he helped you reach your high by pinching your clit. You moaned out his name, the sound sending blood straight down his cock, and he groaned into your pussy the moment you grinded on his face as you relaxed from your orgasm.

Choso didn’t give you the chance to recover from your orgasm, pulling you up to his lap before he’s kissing you again. You moaned when you tasted yourself on his tongue, his face and cheeks sweet from your arousal and cum.

You should be ashamed, but you couldn’t find a single bone in your body that felt shy right now. Choso was right – there was no point in being shameful when it came to your pleasure.

The kiss was sloppy, more tongue than lips and teeth clashing onto another. Choso grinded you on his hardened erection in search of your heat that would bring him relief, but he slowed down and pulled away from you, a string of saliva connected from your lips. He wanted you – wanted to fuck you so badly – so he searched your eyes for the answer when you aligned the tip of his cock to your entrance. “Is this okay? Are you sure with this?”

“Yeah,” you gritted your teeth when his tip entered your tight cunt, your walls sucking him in greedily already. Choso’s head dropped down to your shoulder, his teeth sinking down to your shoulder. You slowly sat down on his thick length, but then froze before he could bottom out. “Wait, no, I’m broke! I can’t pay for your extra services!”

“It’s free for you, princess,” he rasped out, “Now sit on my lap so I can feel you around me already.”

“Do you always have to be so vulgar?”

Through the pleasure that had his abs rippling, Choso managed a laugh. “You might want to get used to it.”

“Why would I?” you breathed out, eyes shutting tight once he fully slid into you. He allowed you to get used to the sudden stretch; it had been too long since you’ve been touched this way that you were impossibly tight around him right now. Your chest rose and fall with each faltering breath, your nails running down his back when Choso gave a deep, experimental thrust that immediately hits your sweet spot.

You moaned, cheek resting on his shoulder as Choso set the pace, squeezing your ass as he bounced you up and down his cock. “You’re gone after this. Once this contract is over, you’re moving away and I won’t get to see you anymore. I-I won’t lose sleep anymore after hearing you fuck all those women and gosh, I hate you so much, you know that?”

“I hated you too,” he groaned through your skin, “Or at least, that’s what I told myself so I wouldn’t get hurt.”

“Hurt? I would never hurt you,” Really, you praised yourself for still being able to form coherent sentences even after Choso kept fucking into you.

“I’m an escort, princess, I’m everybody’s and nobody’s at the same time,” he explained almost angrily, and his lips zealously sucked love bites to the sensitive flesh of your neck, “Even if you won’t hurt me, we’re bound to crash and burn at some point. This is why we’re not allowed to get attached to anyone,” his lips brushed over her collarbone, his canines dragging along to make red marks. “Why we’re not allowed to fall,” he squeezed her breast in the palm of his hand, twisting the peaked nipple until you whined, hips bucking deeper into his cock. “Why we’re not allowed to love.”

“I-I don’t understand.”

“I’ve always liked you,” he laughed through the pleasure, holding your hips down so he could drive his cock deeper into you. Yes, he was selfish, yes, he was frustrated – and his feelings burst through the way Choso powered into you. You fell limp in his arms and he easily caught you like he always did, his eyes blown wide as he stared right into your eyes, his dick still pummeling through your gummy walls.

Choso inhaled sharply when you clenched down on him, an elongated moan spilling past your lips. “I liked you the moment you moved in and you fell flat on your face before you could greet me.”

“Shut up, don’t remind me of that!” you raked your nails down his back hard enough to draw blood, and Choso concealed the pain with light chuckle, the pain only prompting him to absolutely use you. “You’re seriously bringing it up now when you’re – ah, fuck – b-buried in me?”

Choso tugged at one of your legs and wrapped it around his waist, the sudden change of angle had you pressing down deeper into him. It felt like you were sinking closer and closer to his cock, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix until you’re crying out in his arms, scratches evident on his back.

“For now,” he breathed out, “I want to at least be selfish enough to want you now, just for now if fate won’t still allow it.”

“W-we can try,” you said in your lust-filled gaze, lips crashing down messily to his while you bounced on him, your hips slamming down at the same to meet his thrusts. “It’s not going to be easy, but we can try, right?” You cupped his face, surprised with the sudden vulnerability from his hooded eyes, looking so innocent and beautiful as if he wasn’t painting your insides white.

“Okay,” he nodded, brows pinching together. And that was all the both of you needed before Choso sank his fangs down the column of your neck to hold on his low groans; your head thrown back as you both drown in the pleasure of being with one another.

In the blink of an eye, all tenderness is Choso’s touches replaced by the hunger in his eyes and the power of his lust-filled thrusts. You were a moaning mess by the time your hips sit flat on his pelvic bone and his balls brush on your ass from how deep he was hitting you, and you felt his teeth nibble at the side of your breasts again as he warned, “But for now, I’m not going to go easy on you – not when I’ve wanted you for so long and I’ve been so hard for you these all time.”

And you allowed him. Because nothing was ever easy with Choso, but for him, you’d try pushing through hell and back.

[spencerreidsconverse]

When Evil Doesn't Sleep

summary: Spencer has been gone far too long on a case and when he finally returns home, reader shows him just how much she missed him.

word count: 3.4k

warnings: smut, implied dom/sub undertones, pet names

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Female Reader

A/N: My first fic!!! I hope you all enjoy! <3

“Y/n I’m really sorry but it looks like the case is going to take a lot longer than we thought. We had a recent development and the profile is now pointing to a partnership so now we’re hunting down two unsubs”. You sighed as Spencer rattled off his apologies through the phone before putting him out of his misery “Spencer honey, you don’t have to apologize. Quit worrying about me and focus on catching the bad guys.”

To say you missed Spencer would be the understatement of the century. He had been in Utah for six days already and now with a pair of psychos your odds of finding him in your bed by the end of the week were growing increasingly slim. It didn’t help that you had been swamped prepping for an extra class you’d agreed to take on at Georgetown where you worked as a Criminal Psychology professor. Between both of your hectic work schedules you hadn’t had a real weekend to yourselves in a few months, and while you knew when you first started dating Spencer that it was an inevitable of his job, it had never been this crazy before. They say evil never sleeps but lately it hasn't even taken a catnap.

“I love you Y/N. I promise I’ll come home to you soon and take you out on a real date. I’m sorry darling, I have to go. I’ll text you when I get to the hotel tonight and if you’re still up we can talk for a bit okay?”. “Alright Spence, I love you too. Stay safe okay?”. “I promise, goodbye love.”

Your farewell barely made it past your lips when the dial tone cut you off and once again your boyfriend of three years vanished from your side of the country. You let out an exasperated sigh before reminding yourself that there were other people who needed his help and that you could wait for his attention - at least until that night. Continuing the trek up the stairs of your and spencer’s shared apartment, you managed to haphazardly balance your grocery bags in one hand while unlocking the door and disabling the security alarm, internally cringing at the high shriek that rattled through your brain.

Walking through the living room, you sat the bags on your kitchen counter and began reorganizing the small fridge space to fit all the perishables you had brought home, absentmindedly hoping they wouldn't spoil now that it would be just you for several more days. Moving to the cupboard you replaced the few grab and go snack boxes you had made up to try and encourage Spencer to eat more throughout the day and refilled the paper plate stash that quickly became a requirement after you realized neither one of you could tolerate doing dishes every night. You ripped open the cardboard packaging of yet another microwave dinner and set the timer before leaving to change into more comfortable attire.

Opening the door of your shared bedroom, the smell of vanilla wax melts and dryer sheets hit you like a brick and immediately sent a pang of loneliness through your chest. Spencer was usually around by the time the chores needed done, and you rarely had to do them yourself. Unfortunately, the laundry was piling up and you needed something to distract you so you spent the day running errands and cleaning the apartment more thoroughly than necessary. You walked over to the stack of black dresser drawers and pulled out the first pair of pajama pants you touched, Spencer’s old caltech sweats that now fit you far better than him considering he had received them when he was 14. They looked more like capris on him now and it was embarrassingly difficult to convince him to buy a new pair that fit him properly. You slipped on a tank top and pulled your hair back before making your way lazily to the bathroom to take off the remnants of your simple makeup.

After scrubbing your face clean and pulling your dinner out, you moved to ready the couch for yet another night of binge watching cheesy 90s movies. You selected Clueless and watched the vibrant colors pop across the screen while you dived into your meal, making a poor attempt to ignore the slight freezer burnt taste that lingered after every bite. You finished your dinner and set the bowl aside before covering yourself with a blanket and allowing yourself to sink into the cushions, desperately awaiting Spencer's text.

You were jolted out of your doze by the loud buzzing of your phone against the wooden coffee table. Clumsily you reached for it and managed to swipe the answer pad before it sent your genius to voicemail. “Hello?” you managed before a yawn ripped its way through you suddenly. “Hey Y/N, I’m sorry it’s so late. I didn't mean to wake you, I figured you’d still be up. You should go back to bed love.” For the first time, you noticed the neon green numbers on the microwave. 12:30. You stifled another yawn and shook your head in an effort to wake yourself further “No way, I just dozed off while watching a movie. I was waiting to talk to you. Besides, I’m up now anyways so you might as well stay on with me for a bit. Did you get any further today?” “Well, JJ had the idea that the partners were originally a typical dominant/submissive partnership but that something in the dynamic must have changed because the MO began to deteriorate. We think the partners must have split up now, because we’re finding similar pieces of the previous MO at separate crime scenes.”.

You processed the information he fed you slowly due to your semiconscious state but eventually you put your words in order well enough to respond. “That should be helpful though yeah? I mean, they’re used to working in a partnership so being suddenly separated from your other half so to speak would throw you off track quite a bit right?”. You could practically hear him smiling through the phone as you drew the conclusions the team had come to only a few hours prior. “Yes. We’re hoping to be able to draw them out and trap them. Play them against each other.”.”Does that mean I can stop sleeping on the couch soon?”. You heard him let out a dejected sigh - you knew he hated that you would force yourself onto the cramped couch when you had a king sized bed a few hundred feet away but he understood.

When he had come home in the early hours of the morning after an abrupt end to a case a few weeks after you had moved into his place, he had caught you curled up on the sofa with a throw pillow stuffed under your head. When he questioned you about it the next morning, you simply answered that the bed felt too big without him and that you couldn’t stand the empty feeling. “Sooner than later I hope my love. Y/N I really wish you wouldn’t do that to yourself. It’s horrible for your body. It can put you at a much higher risk for chronic back and neck pain as well as-”. “Spence. I’m not a giant like you are. I fit on the couch much better than you do, and I barely notice the difference.”. You both cringed, hearing the lie clear in your voice. Still, Spencer must have felt bad because he humored you. “If you're sure. What did you do today my love?”. You smiled sadly hearing in his voice just how desperate he was to escape from his reality and come home to you.

”Well, I straightened the house. In fact, it’s so clean i think we could use it as a sterilization room.”. He let out a soft chuckle and you could hear him begin to relax as you recounted the rest of your day, excluding the part about the microwave dinner. Spencer loved to tell you how many of the ingredients were one step away from processed garbage and you decided to opt out of the lecture for the evening. He had more than enough to worry about without having to focus on your diet while he was away. After a half hour of light conversation, a loud yawn betrayed you as you were excitedly discussing the cute puppy you had met on the way to the market. Spencer immediately requested that you hang up and get some more sleep but you refused. After a few minutes of bickering, you relented on the condition that he would read to you until you had fallen asleep. You curled up under the fluffy blanket as Spencer’s even voice recited the collection of Grimm’s fairy tales quickly lured you to sleep.

You woke up the next morning as sunlight peered through the curtains, stretching your body out to ease the aches from the previous night. You smiled softly as your screen lit up with a text from Spencer wishing you a good morning and an update that they had a solid plan for boxing in the two unsubs that afternoon. “If all goes to plan I should be carrying you to our bed before midnight tonight.”. Your smile widened and you sent back “Can’t wait to truly see you - and love you- tonight. I’ll be waiting.” You plugged your phone into the charger and straightened up from the night before when your phone went off again. The one word message glared at you from the screen and you let out an involuntary giggle. “Tease.”. You hoped it gave him something to look forward to until he was back in your arms. You sent back a simple “XO” before deciding to reread one of your favorite books for a few hours to kill some time. You made yourself a sandwich for lunch and had a few glasses of water as the clock slowly ticked by. You were over halfway through the lengthy novel when you received another message.

“We apprehended both unsubs. Hotch is postponing the paperwork until Monday so we can go straight home. I’ll see you in a few hours baby.”.  You jumped slightly in celebration before finishing your current chapter, marking your place, and all but skipping to the shower to shave and exfoliate your skin. You knew Spencer would still be heavily worked up once he arrived home and luckily, his favorite release included intertwining your bodies as close as possible and loving you sweetly and slowly.

You took your time in the shower careful not to nick yourself with your razor. You scrubbed your scalp with your nails, letting your stress and soreness melt away under the steam. You waited until the water ran cold before turning the knob and stepping out, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel and blow drying your hair until it layed perfectly even. You applied lotion all over your skin and stepped out of the bathroom to slip on your black silk robe, knowing it wouldn’t be worth it to dress up further. Spencer would be desperate to feel your skin against his and any fabric in his way didn't stand much of a chance.

You made an actual meal for dinner, a pasta dish with chicken that could be easily reheated for Spencer when he grew hungry later in the night. You helped yourself to a serving and after quickly cleaning up the kitchen and storing the leftovers, you retreated to the bedroom to wait for his return.

You were half paying attention to the feed you opted to scroll through on your phone when you heard the door creak open and bags drop to the floor. You set your phone on the bedside table and ran towards the foyer, all but throwing yourself at the exhausted man in front of you. He took a step back from the impact but still enveloped you in his arms and pulled you impossibly tight into his chest. “Hi baby.” you whispered against the scruffy skin of his jawline, peppering kisses up towards his earlobe. He let out a long sigh of relief and picked you up off the hardwood floor, wrapping your thighs around his waist resulting in a high pitched giggle to erupt from your throat. He kissed you then, slowly at first but quickly building more passionate. Your lungs were burning when he finally allowed you to pull away, opting to kiss down your neck to your collarbones and the skin of your chest that was newly exposed as your robe slipped open.

He carefully made his way back to your room, continuing his kisses back up to your shoulder, stopping only to leave marks you knew would only grow darker as time passed. At the very least he was sure to only mark you in places you could cover with little difficulty. “I missed you so much Y/N. The entire ride home all I could think about was you waiting for me in our bed. My gorgeous girl.”. You felt your chest heat up at his words of admiration, wrapping your fingers into his curls and pulling his lips towards your own once more.

You felt him groan against you and moved to quickly unbutton his shirt, slipping it down his arms and tossing it in the general direction of the hamper. He pulled you up with him then, so you were both on your knees, chest to chest as he pulled your robe fully down your back to the swell of your ass where he grasped at you through the slick fabric. You let out a whine and you pulled his belt off, undoing his jeans desperate to continue. He grinned against your neck and pushed you down so you laid flat on your back, completely exposed to him. He kissed at your stomach, making his way down to your inner thighs. He licked a slow wet trail from your pelvic bone to the top of your clit as you whimpered desperately. “Spence, please… I need more”. He humored you, creating slow small circles with his tongue moaning at the taste. You cried out as he created the perfect amount of pressure on your clit, legs threatening to close around his head when he moved to slip one of his fingers easily inside you as the mix of your own wetness and his saliva aided him. He smirked as he felt your thighs flex before using his left hand to throw one of your legs over his shoulders at a time. He pushed a second finger in, curling them up to perfectly reach your g-spot with every thrust. Soon though, you grew impatient with just his fingers. You needed more and you knew just how to get it.

“I want you so bad Spence. I’ve waited for so long and I just can’t anymore. I need to feel you deep inside of me.”. You were positive those words would leave him just as needy as you were and he proved you right when he kicked his pants the rest of the way off and went to line himself up against you. “Wait.”. He stopped immediately, examining your face for any indication of what was wrong. “What’s the matter baby? Are you okay?”. You shook your head and smiled at his concern before switching your positions so his back was resting against the pillows as you straddle his thighs. He smirked at you as he caught on, trailing his hands up the front of your legs to rest at your hips. “You gonna ride me angel?”. You responded with an eager nod and he squeezed your hips, pulling you up further so you were hovering above him. “Sit pretty like my good girl then.”. You whined softly at his words before slowly sinking yourself down around his length, sucking in a harsh breath at the stretch. Even with how wet you were, the adjustment took longer than usual due to the dry spell you were both suffering from as of late.

When you finally felt stretched out enough to move, you slowly ground your hips forward flush against his. He groaned out, lifting you back up so you were almost completely off of him before pulling you back down. You moaned both at the sensation and the idea of being manhandled by the genius below you. You realized what he was asking though, and began bouncing yourself up and down his cock, stopping every few thrusts to grind your clit down on him. You let out soft moans, and after a few more minutes you felt his fingers dig deeper into your hips and his breaths quicken. You knew he was close and as if on cue you started rubbing fast circles against your clit as he spoke again.

“Baby girl I’m getting close. You gonna cum with me angel?” You nodded furiously in response and you felt him start thrusting up to meet you. You panted as you hurried towards the edge of your orgasm, holding on until his thrusts grew sloppier. “You ready to cum with me baby? You gonna cum on my cock?” “Yeah.. gonna cum all over your cock Doc.” You fought to keep the grin off your face when he moaned at the title. He thrusted deep into you twice, before he ordered your release. “I want you to cum now baby. Cum all over my cock.” You felt your orgasm rip through you, electricity shooting through your limbs. Spencer groaned loudly as you tightened around him before pulling you down deep and releasing inside you.

You both fought to catch your breath as you rode out your highs before you found yourself slumping against his chest, suddenly drained from your activities. You felt him chuckle at your drastic change in energy as he wrapped his arms around you again. “I know you just washed the bed sheets and we’re both sweaty but do you think a washcloth will suffice for tonight?”. You nodded against his chest before slowly lifting yourself up and off of him, rolling onto your back on the other side of the bed. Spencer swiftly made his way across the hall, returning to wipe you down gently with the warm fabric. You shivered as the cool air dried your skin, watching him move throughout your room.

He slipped on a fresh pair of boxers before tossing the washcloth in the hamper along with his previously discarded clothes. He hung your robe on the back of your bedroom door then flipped the light switch off before rejoining you in bed to slip under the blankets with you. You immediately curled up into his chest, sighing contently as the sound of his heartbeat filled your ears. You kissed his chest and whispered goodnight, drifting into your first real sleep since before he left.

The next morning you and Spencer went shopping after you successfully convinced him to upgrade to a smart phone with video call abilities. He had begun to shut down the idea as he always had before but after the mere suggestion of what it could do to better your late night hotel room chats he was the one pulling you towards the nearest phone shop. You smiled politely while Spencer took his sweet time weighing the pros and cons of each model, letting your mind drift to the first time it would come in handy. As you finally neared the checkout counter, you took Spencer's hand in your own and gave it a gentle squeeze. After running his card through the machine, the salesgirl gave him the small plastic bag and wished you both a good afternoon.

As you exited the shop, you looked up at him, nudging him to get his attention “What do you think of an app controlled vibrator?”. He stared at you incredulously for a few moments, almost stopping dead in his tracks. After recovering from the initial shock at the vulgarity of your suggestion, he shook his head with a soft smirk and nudged back against you. “Tease.” he called you once more. “That’s the reason you love me right?”. He pulled you into his side, kissing you softly. “One of many Y/N. One of many.”

[luvidzy]

☆ genre: fluff

☆ pairing: kim seungmin x reader

☆ summary: an anonymous person is writing poetry and you are determined to get to the bottom of it

☆ word count: 3.2k

You honestly hadn’t even noticed at first. You weren’t really into the school paper, so you didn’t read it very often unless Felix decided there was something interesting you just had to know. Which is exactly how you found out about your secret admirer posting about you in the paper.

“Y/N, you have to see this!” Felix’s voice rang out as he slid into the seat next to you. You looked up, less than thrilled to be interrupted in the middle of trying to study for your Greek Classics test tomorrow, but you couldn’t stop yourself from setting your pencil down at Felix’s excited expression.

“Yes, Felix?” You asked, trying to hide the exasperation in your voice. If Felix noticed, he didn’t let him affect his excitement as he pulled the school paper out from under his arm, unrolled it and smacked it down on the table in front of you.

Your eyes scanned the front page, trying to figure out what Felix was so eager to show you, but nothing stood out. There was an article about the softball team, an article about an upcoming concert by 3racha, and a column that was talking about new things to do on campus. Nothing particularly interesting, and also nothing that you hadn’t seen before in the paper.

“So I was looking at the paper, and something caught my eyes. Come on, you have to read it,” Felix urged, his eyes sparkling as his freckles crinkled beside his eyes. You rested your forearms on the table, signalling to him that you were listening. Felix began to flip through the pages, before he landed on one of the latter ones. 

His finger pointed out a small section of writing in the upper right hand corner. You squinted slightly, bringing the paper closer so you could look at the words. From what you could tell it, was a small three line poem that anyone would overlook if you weren’t paying attention. Lucky enough for you, Lee Felix always paid attention to the paper.

she sits so sweetly

sweater too big on her back

perfect to me

Eyes wondering over the black lettering, you felt your eyebrows furrow. There was no signature and not even a hint of who the poem might be addressed to. It seemed so out of place, yet your curiosity was growing every second.

“Does anyone know who wrote it?” You asked, turning to Felix. The blonde shook his head, pouting slightly.

“I asked Seungmin, but he said that they had just found it on one of the desks in an envelope with a note asking them to publish it,” Felix explained. You sighed, before sliding the paper away from you in favor of getting back to your studying.

“Well, keep me updated. Maybe next time we’ll know who this mysterious poet is, or maybe who he’s writing to.” Felix nodded eagerly, before pulling the paper back towards him and opening it up to read while you continued to study.

Of course, the poem wasn’t dropped there as Felix brought it up to your friends again that night as you hung out in Chan and Changbin’s apartment.

“It’s romantic, for sure. But I feel like it would be even more romantic if the person who it was for actually KNEW it was for them, ya know?” Jisung said as he threw a cheeto in the air and tried to catch it in his mouth. You stifled a giggle behind your hand as the cheeto flew back down and hit him in the face, causing him to pout.

“Maybe they wanted to test the waters? See if the person responded well before they actually did anything that might give them away?” Jeongin suggested, before stuffing some M&Ms into his mouth. Seungmin shrugged as he leaned back into his chair.

“I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see if we get any more envelopes.” You sighed, smiling slightly as you leaned back into the couch you were sitting on.

“How nice it must be to have someone write poetry about you. I don’t think anyone would ever do that for me,” you exclaimed dramatically, throwing a hand onto your forehead for effect. Minho snorted as he threw a piece of candy at you, causing you to shriek slightly.

“Maybe, if you weren’t such a dramatic bitch, people would actually fall for you.” You stuck your tongue out at the older male, crossing your arms with a pout on your face. He was probably right, but there was no need for him to be rude about it.

The next time the mystery poet wrote in the paper, you found out about it way too late at night. Your phone began to buzz incessently as you tried to focus on your paper, to no avail. Finally you gave in and picked up the phone.

“What?”

“Y/N, where are you right now?” Felix’s voice was rushed and enthusastic, and it took all your strength not to groan. How could he be so energetic this late at night, when all you wanted to be doing was sleeping instead of studying for you stupid exam. Seungmin, who had been joining you in your study nights the past few days, looked up with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m at the library with Seungmin. Why?” You replied, rolling your eyes to Seungmin who just snickered. He knew from personal experience that the only person who would give you this reaction so late at night was Felix.

“There was another poem posted in the newspaper! I was gonna tell you earlier but I couldn’t get a hold of you. Stay where you are, I’m on my way.” Felix rushed, before hanging up. You took the phone away from your ear, before looking to Seungmin with an accusing glare.

“There was another poem and you didn’t think to tell me?” You exclaimed, cringing as the librarian shushed you.

“I didn’t think you cared that much. Besides, why would I take away Felix’s gossip? What kind of friend would I be if I did that?” Seungmin chuckled at the pointed glare you sent his way, before you turned back to your paper to try and do some work before Felix got there.

You managed only another 2 paragraphs before Felix came bustling through the doors, trying to be as quiet and fast as possible. He finally crashed into the chair beside you, spreading the paper out before you. You shut your laptop as your eyes scanned the page, trying to find any sight of the poem.

“It’s a good one this time. You’ll have to see it,” Felix said, his grin more of a smirk as he flipped to the next page and pointed his finger at the lines of text that had been imprinted on the page. Your eyes immediately trained on it, scanning over the words in every line like a woman who’s seeing for the first time.

The girl in room 204

with the world on her shoulder

but a smile on her face.

I wish I could be your Atlas

and hold the sky up long enough

for you to take a breath and relax.

But despite the circumstances,

despite her exhaustion from

sleepless nights in the library,

her eyes glow as she talks

even if it is about the most mundane things.

I can’t help but stare and smile,

wondering if she will ever notice

that she means everything to me

and that I would gladly be condemned

to a lifetime of suffering if it meant 

taking your pain for just a little while.

Your eyes widened as you looked at the poem, before you noticed the small print that was sitting underneath the beautiful lines.

-to the girl in room 204 of Levantar Hall

Your heart began to pound and you could practically feel the blood rushing to your face as you reread the tiny tag, the realization only setting in after the 5th time looking it over.

“Holy shit! Felix, these poems are addressed to me!” You exclaimed, turning to look at the bright smile of your best friend. He nodded eagerly as you turned back to the poem, rereading it with this newfound knowledge.

“And you said no one would ever write poetry for you,” Felix teased. You hit him lightly, before taking the paper and shoving it into your bag. You grabbed your laptop, slung your bag over your shoulder, before looking at the boys you were sitting with.

“Sorry gentleman, I have some sleuthing to do,” you said, before rushing out of the library, completely ignorant of the adoration in Seungmin’s eyes as he watched you go.

You spent the next few days waking up extra early and camping out outside of the newspaper office to try and catch the mystery person in action of dropping off their envelope, but you were always met with disappointment as Seungmin came in every morning with no sign of the admirer.

You were a bit bummed about it until you decided to read this week's newspaper and came upon a startling revelation. 

Another poem. 

so close yet so far

she would never know my love

it’s not my nature

You immediately called Felix, who agreed to meet up with you at the nearest cafe to discuss the poem. It wasn’t until you were sitting at a booth, coffees sitting in front of you that a revelation decided to hit you.

“Felix! I’m an idiot!”

“I mean, I know. But how so this time?” Felix said, causing you to throw a playful glare his way. You looked at the poem, before pointing at the poem in the paper and reading the words aloud.

“Okay?” Felix questioned, an eyebrow raised. You rolled your eyes at the thought of having to explain it all to Felix.

“I know whoever this is, Felix! The words insinuate it’s someone that I know, and someone who is not very affectionate with me!” You said proudly, happy that you had managed to narrow the list down. Felix nodded in understanding.

“So, that leaves only a few people, right? Cause all of your friends are pretty affectionate, outside of Minho and Seungmin, right?” Felix said, and you nodded, before freezing. Minho…. or Seungmin. You didn’t want to immediately jump to any conclusions, but you hadn’t seen anyone outside of the newspaper room outside of Seungmin and, being honest, you kind of wanted it to be him. You had had a crush on Kim Seungmin since freshman year of college and it would be like something out of a novel if it turned out to be him.

“Earth to Y/N! What’s the plan now?” Felix brought you from your daydream as you took a sip of the coffee in front of you. You furrowed your brows in thoughts, before her eyes lit up.

“I know! Felix, I just need to mention something incredibly specific to each of them! Any good writer would take advantage of the creative inspiration and incorporate it into their poem!” you announced, quite proud of yourself for coming up with the idea. Felix thought for a moment before he nodded.

“That’s so stupid, it might just work.” You pouted at his comment, before immediately looking at your phone, seeing the time, and stumbling to get up and rush out.

“I completely forgot I need to meet up with Minho for our project! Phase 1 starts right now!” You rushed out of the coffee shop, Felix laughing behind you as you nearly ran into the door due to your excitement.

True to your plan, while with Minho you brought up the extremely intricate topic of Andromeda and Perseus, a tale which you had learned about a month ago in your Greek Mythology class. You loved the story and thought it was incredibly interesting and a great muse if Minho turned out to be the secret admirer in the paper.

You didn’t see Seungmin for a few days, but that gave you time to think of the perfect topic to bring up to him. You wanted him to be your secret poet so badly and you wanted to make sure you gave him something that would definitely end up inspiring the next poem. It finally hit you as you sat with Seungmin and Jeongin in one of your University’s common areas.

“We learned about the story of Icarus in my Greek class the other day,” you started, making sure to look at Seungmin and see if he was listening to you. Sure enough he perked up, looking up to show you that he was taking in the words that were coming from your lips.

“Essentially, Icarus was the son of this great inventor, Daedalus, and they were both imprisoned in a tower. Daedalus made them 2 sets of wings to escape the tower, but they were made out of feathers and wax. When they were flying to escape, Icarus decided to not heed his fathers words and flew too close to the sun. The wax in his wings melted and he drowned. It’s a sad story, but it tells a tale of curiosity and how being too curious can lead to your downfall,” you explained, noticing how Seungmin had stopped writing as you told your story. Jeongin stared at you with a questioning glance.

“Why would Icarus fly so high if he knew he would die?”

“Well, I guess that depends on how you look at it. Some say he was just foolish and brash, but I personally like to think Icarus knew what would happen to him, but decided that the ability to be free and live in the excitement for even a moment was worth the consequences he knew would befall him.” Jeongin nodded, obviously thinking about the story. Satisfied with your work, you looked back down at your work, not noticing how Seungmin had flipped to a blank page in his notebook and was jotting down what seemed to be lines of poetry.

It was a few more weeks until another poem was posted, and you were starting to be concerned that the admirer had given up and decided to stop. That was until Felix, as expected, rushed into your dorm one day, completely scaring you out of your concentrated state.

“The poem was posted! And you’ll never believe it, but your plan actually worked!” Your stomach flip flopped as you realized that the moment of truth was about to be upon you. The minute you read the poem that laid in the ink of the school newspaper, you would know who was your secret admirer. Felix handed it to you and as your eyes went to the words, you silently prayed that it was the man you so desperately wanted it to be. 

I am Icarus,

and she is the sun.

I don’t dare get to close,

even if her gleam,

bright against my rickety feathers,

warms me from the inside out.

I can never tell her how I feel,

I can never say a word,

but if I could I’d tell her she is golden to me.

That she is the heavens,

and I am just a mortal man 

begging for her to let me in,

begging for her to let me love her, 

begging for her to let me praise her,

because God knows that if I could 

I would never stop spilling words of devotion to her.

I am Icarus,

and she is the sun.

My faux wings melt like candle wax

as I force myself closer to her,

because I’d rather fall out of her atmosphere,

then never experience her at all.

Your mouth dropped open as you finished reading the carefully crafted poem, your cheeks heating up and your mind running a mile a minute. It was Seungmin. Your secret admirer was Seungmin.

You rushed out of your dorm, the paper abandoned on your bed as Felix called after you, but you didn’t have any time to stop and explain. You glanced at your phone, realizing that if you made haste, you could catch Seungmin alone in the newsroom before he left for the day. You weaved through the halls of the journalism building, the only thing on your mind getting to the boy who had written some of the most beautiful words about you.

Seungmin was standing outside of the door, locking up the room for the day, when you barrelled down the hallways and basically tackled him into a hug. He grunted as your arms wrapped around him and he stood there for a moment, completely unsure of what to do in this situation. You didn’t give him any time to react though, pulling back and staring at him with a smile rivalling the sun.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Tell you what?” Seungmin asked, genuinely confused. He had a long day and you weren’t making any sense right now. You rolled your eyes playfully, before looking at him with a smirk.

“That you were Icarus and I was the sun.” Seungmin’s mouth dropped open as you repeated the words he had written back to you. His usually sharp mind was completely blank as he tried to figure out what to say in response to you, but once again you didn’t give him time to think as you pulled him in for another hug.

This time, Seungmin allowed himself to wrap his arms around you in return and give you a squeeze. Months of pining after you and he was finally doing what he had fantasized about so many times. You nuzzled yourself into his neck, giggling as he let out a soft gasp, completely unused to the physical affection you were showing him.

“So, does this mean the poems worked?” Seungmin joked, his cheeks red as you pulled back again. You let out a laugh, nodding happily as you kept your arms slung around his neck.

“Of course! To be honest, I’ve had a crush on you for a while now. I was really glad when I found out it was you,” you said, staring at him sheepishly. He smiled softly at you, before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“What gave it away though?” He asked. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“You really think I just threw all that philosophical stuff about Icarus out there for nothing? I was hoping you’d pick up the clue and use it for some creative inspiration,” you said. Seungmin nodded, feigning a look of impressiveness.

“That’s pretty smart for you.” You punched him lightly in the arm, eliciting a chuckle from the boy as he grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers together, leading you down the hallway.

“So, does this mean your poems are going to stop?” you asked, unable to hide the pout in your voice. Seungmin smiled a little bit, giddy that you liked his poems so much.

“I mean, at least the public poems. But I’ll write you all the poems you want in private. But they will be for your eyes only. Can’t let anyone know that I went soft for you,” he said jokingly. You let out a laugh, squeezing his hand as he laughed along with you.

Honestly, you didn’t mind if the poems were public or private. It was more than enough for you that Seungmin was holding your hand right now, speaking words of love that held more meaning than any poem about Icarus ever could.

[nessinborderland]

Sleepless Nights

Pairing: Cobra x Reader

Genre: Romance/Fluff

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: Cobra never thought he deserved much in life. All he ever wanted was for his friends to be close and his home to be safe. He fought for it with all he had, but that was it. It almost felt like he was pushing his luck if he asked for much more than that. So he never did. Until you showed up.

Warnings: Smut, Light Angst, Miscommunication, Cobra thinks he's unworthy of love

Notes: This is officially my first High&Low fanfic! Not sure how to feel about it, but I kinda like it. More to come for sure. Tysm to everyone that has been enthusiastic about my passion for H&L lol, love y’all!

Cobra never thought he deserved much in life. All he ever wanted was for his friends to be close and his home to be safe. He fought for it with all he had, but that was it. It almost felt like he was pushing his luck if he asked for much more than that.

So he never did.

Until you showed up. 

It was like the sun itself had entered the diner the first time he met you. You had introduced yourself as Naomi's friend from abroad, and the ease and happiness you radiated almost made him want to greet you with a smile. And then your eyes locked and you grinned at him, and his heart skipped a beat. That's when he started falling for you.

Not that he realized it at that moment.

It took him months of watching you smile and laugh with everyone around him to realize that the butterflies in his stomach meant he was attracted to you, and that the spark of annoyance he felt when he watched a guy speak to you was jealousy. He thought it was only sexual at first, but he soon realized that it was much more than that.

He was taken aback at the realization; it made no sense to him.

You barely spoke to one another. He was sure that you didn't even particularly like him if the way you acted around him was any indicator. You caught him staring once, and the only thing you did was turn your back to him and continue laughing at something Dan said. 

That hurt him more than he cared to admit.

So he tried to bury his feelings for you. Not that anyone would notice any changes in him. He mostly kept to his corner, reading a book or talking with the guys, as quiet and stoic as ever. You being there didn't change that.

Except that he couldn't stop his eyes from wandering to you, or his attention from focusing on you every time he heard you laugh. 

"When are you gonna tell her?" Noboru interrupted his thoughts with a nudge to his shoulder. 

That's when Cobra noticed that the book he was reading had been forgotten in his lap, his eyes now on you as you played darts with Tetsu and Dan. You were smiling at them like he wished you would smile at him. He felt his ears get warm at being caught, shrugging before going back to his book.

"I don't know what you're talking about," was all he said as he pretended to keep reading.

"You can fool everyone else, but I see the way you look at her," Noboru proceeded, almost making him curse his best friend's perceptiveness, "You're not as discreet as you think you are, you know?"

Cobra took a deep breath before closing the book and making a move to stand up. He wasn't in the mood to discuss his crush or to lie to his friend.

"I'm gonna go–"

"She likes you too," those words made him stop in his tracks, before looking back at Noboru. The man was looking at you with a teasing smile pulling at the corner of his lips, "Aren't you curious to know how I know that?"

Cobra glanced at you once more before going back to his seat, arms crossed as he waited for his friend to talk.

"So, I heard Naomi and her talking about you in the kitchen the other day," Noboru started, "She thinks you don't like her because you keep avoiding her, but she definitely has a crush on you."

"Are you sure?" was all Cobra was capable of asking.

"Absolutely," his friend nodded with a chuckle, "She likes your moody ass, for whatever reason."

Cobra gulped as he thought of what you having a crush on him implied. Did that mean that he now had to talk to you about it? Did that mean that you would say yes if he asked you out? What would that even entail? His encounters with women were merely ways for him to relieve stress, nothing romantic about it.

He had no idea of what to do.

So he did the opposite of what he normally did; he ran away.

"Hmm," he grunted in final acknowledgment of his friend's words before standing up, determined to leave the diner as fast as he could, "I'm leaving. There's something I need to do."

He cringed at his own lie, ignoring Noboru's calling and everyone's stare – your stare – on him as he left into the rainy night outside. 

He liked the night. He liked the rain. It allowed him to think in peace as he made his way home, mad at himself. He was a coward, nothing but a sad man undeserving of love. He didn't even know you. He knew nothing about you, and you knew nothing about him.

So why did he care so much? Why did it hearing that you liked him filled his heart with hope?

His phone ringing made him stop under the rain, checking who it was before pressing the red button. He would find a more convincing excuse for Noboru tomorrow. His phone rang again, and again, making him sigh before finally picking up the call.

"Noboru I–"

"C-Cobra?" that was not his friend. He held his breath as he recognized your voice on the other side, "Cobra, are you okay?"

"Why are you calling me?" he didn't mean for his words to sound so harsh, but hearing the worry in your voice made him act defensive – like you had no business having any feelings towards him. He regretted it almost instantly.

"I- I'm sorry," you said before he had the chance to say anything else, "I just noticed you left in a hurry, and Noboru said that I should try and talk to you so… are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said, "I just had to leave."

"Okay," there was an awkward pause where neither of you said anything. He opened his mouth to finally say something when you said, "Can I- Can I have your number?"

"My number?" he asked, confused.

"Only if you want to!" you rushed to say. That's when he noticed the anxiety in your voice. Was he making you nervous? "You don't have to. But, you know, if you want to talk… I can talk."

He was in bed hours later after speaking with you on the phone. He hadn't been willing to say much else besides letting you have his number, and he regretted it now. He couldn't sleep, too restless to even lay still. It just wouldn't happen for him; not tonight. His head was full of thoughts of you and what-ifs.

What if this was all a misunderstanding?

What if you actually liked him?

What if he couldn't protect you?

What if he hurt you?

What if, what if, what if.

His phone buzzing broke him out of overthinking. He reached for his phone, his heart skipping a beat as he saw a message from an unknown number.

Is this Cobra?

Y/N?

Yes! How're you feeling?

fine. it's 3 AM

Omg, I'm so sorry! Were you asleep?

nah. can't sleep. u? 

Can't either.

He didn't know how to keep the conversation going. Did he even want to? His phone buzzed with a new message before he could think too much about it.

Can I ask you something?

sure

Are you mad at me?

no. why do u ask?

I'm not sure, it just seems that I made you uncomfortable and I would like to apologize if I ever did something to you.

u didn't do anything. i'm just not really the approachable type 

Ahh that makes me more relaxed xD can we start over then? Friends?

Friends. Friends. You wanted to be friends. That was fine by him. He wouldn't mind being friends with you.

do u like me?

are u passing by the diner tomorrow?

I am! Wanna have lunch together? :)

sounds good

See ya tomorrow then! Goodnight <3

A heart emoji. Didn't those mean something? What did it mean? What did any of this mean? He reread your convo one, two, three times, now with one hundred percent certainty that you had asked him out for lunch.

He definitely couldn't fall asleep after that.

He rarely ever felt as nervous as he was then, entering Itokan to be greeted by your smile. He joined you at the table, happy that it was only you two and a few other patrons that barely paid him any mind.

Except for Naomi, that sent him a knowing smile as she got your lunch orders.

"Got some sleep last night?" it was the first thing you asked him as you sat across from each other. He nodded, even though it was a complete lie, and asked you the same, "Not really," you laughed, "Had a lot on my mind."

He hummed, wondering if you were as nervous as he was to meet. If what Noboru said was true, that was definitely a possibility, wasn't it? 

You didn't look nervous at all, though. Not to him, at least. You laughed and smiled and talked like he was the most interesting company on earth, even though he barely said a thing. 

It felt comfortable, though. It felt right.

"You have a really pretty smile, you know?" your statement caught him off guard, and that's when he realized that he was full-on smiling at something you were saying. He felt his ears get red immediately, unsure if he should just accept the compliment or try to figure out what you meant by it.

"Thanks?" he said, unsure, "You're pretty too," he decided to add in a hurry, blushing all over his face at realizing what he had said. Was he ever this awkward? His gang would laugh in his face if they saw him right now.

"Thanks," you said with a laugh. Your reaction made him relax almost instantly, and you were soon back to talking and enjoying your food together.

He had to admit, he could get used to this.

You kissed him first.

You had invited him to your home one night when neither of you could sleep. He didn't think much of it; it wasn't the first time you spent time together, just talking.

But that night was different.

It was just a push of your lips against his, but he wanted more. So he did what he had wanted to do for months and pulled your face closer, consuming your mouth with his. You moaned as he kissed you, pressing your body closer to his, making him feel like he was on fire.

It was intoxicating.

"Bedroom?" you asked once your lips parted for breath. He quickly nodded as he went back to kissing you, now with a newfound passion. 

He couldn't stop himself from kissing down your body as soon as he got you naked, wanting to taste you, to be consumed by your essence. And you let him do it like he hoped you would, moaning his name exactly like you did in his dreams when he was lonely and all he had was his hand and fantasies of you.

But you felt nothing like you did in his dreams. His hand could never compare to the warm tightness of your cunt around him, or how your body shivered and trembled at every thrust of his hips against yours.

"Please don't stop," your begging was music to his ears, "Please, I'm so close."

He did just what you desired.

He didn't stop until you came one, two, three times, cunt clenching around his cock and his name on your lips. He was almost blind from pleasure, wanting to finish but too afraid to do so. Your relationship wouldn't be the same after this, and it scared him.

He thought he passed out when he finally came, moaning and shaking as you held him in your arms. 

"Can I tell you something?" you whispered after you were both exhausted and sore, more than ready for sleep to take you. 

He grunted a yes, burying his face in your hair; he didn't want to face you when you told him you regretted this. You took a deep breath and hugged him closer, pressing your face against his chest.

"I think I'm in love with you."

He froze. He knew that was a possibility. He knew you liked him. He just never expected you to tell him that you loved him. That was… a lot. A lot of things he wasn't sure how to process.

"Are you sure?..." he settled for asking. He needed for you to be sure.

"Y-Yes I'm sure," you rushed to say, looking up at him, "I really like you."

All he could think of doing was kissing you. That was the only thing on his mind at that moment; showing you how he felt without using words he had no idea how to use. You kissed him back just as hard until you were both out of breath.

"Does this mean you like me too?" you whispered against his lips, foreheads pressed together. You giggled when he pecked your lips, hugging you closer.

"Yeah," he said, cheeks hurting from how hard he was smiling, "I like you a lot."

[disgustingtoast]

my shitty, shitty minho fic that took ages [tmr minho]

I'm sick of rereading this so here is 3.5k words of shitty, self indulgent writing. The confession could have 100% been more heartfelt but I'm sick of looking this in my google docs. There is most definitely a ton of mistakes but idc <3

this isn't really enemies to lover but the whole dynamic minho and the reader have kinda wrote itself lmao

HERE YOU MFS- @agathallalongs @blanknamed

You were fine with the way you woke up. Hell, you preferred it over some snot-nosed kid coming in and waking you up. And as it turns out, having the same schedule for a little under a year makes for a great internal clock, the habit of getting up in time for your daily run already having been instilled in you for months. So when you’re pulled from the peaceful lulls of sleep because of the feeling of being flipped upside down and landing face-first into the dirt floor of the Glade, you were rightfully peeved.

“Rise and shine shank.”

Minho. Of course it was Minho.

“I’m gonna throw you off the Cliff the minute we’re far enough into the Maze.” Sitting up, you try to rub off the dirt that got on your face when you face planted, scowling at the stains that litter the front of your shirt. “This was a new shirt too.”

“Were you thinking of going running with me or do you plan on sitting in the dirt all day?” Despite him being out of sight you can practically see the smug look he’s wearing. “Hey, maybe you can convince Winston to let you get in the pig pen so you can take a nice mud bath.”

Groaning, you finally stand up and turn around to face him. He’s standing with his arms crossed, holding a paper bag which you presumed had your lunch in it on the other side of your hammock, your very, very twisted hammock.

“Why the hell did you wake me up? I get up fine on my own.”

He shrugs in response, “I just felt like it.”

“You just felt like waking me up or you just felt like getting the world record for ‘biggest pain in the ass’?”

“A bit of both, and seeing your face when you spat out that dirt made you so much more attractive.”

Heat crawls up your neck in embarrassment, “Slim it.” Furrowing your eyebrows in frustration, you gesture in front of you to the tangled mess that hangs between you, “Also you’re gonna fix that.”

“No. It’s your bed.”

“You’re the one who flipped me over! Fix it.”

He stares at you for a second before turning on his heel and jogging off. While he turns to leave you barely catch the way his lips quirk into a smirk. As you watch his retreating figure you can feel your fingers twitch, the urge to strangle him suddenly overwhelming.

“Hey! Get back here shuck-face!” As quickly as you can, you slip your shoes on, not bothering to tie them and pull the leather harness over your head. After one last disapproving glance at your pathetic hammock you’re off, racing after Minho in an effort not to let him get too far ahead. If he beat you to the Doors you’d never hear the end of it.

By the time you catch up with him you’re out of breath. Everytime you would get closer than a few feet behind him he’d run a little faster keeping you at a good few paces behind him, succeeding at prolonging your ever-growing exasperation.

Eventually though he lets you catch up until you’re running side by side, a few meters away from the Walls. “This prison wouldn’t be half as bad if the Creators had put anyone else in here other than you. Preferably someone cuter, without such a punchable face.” You don’t have to look at him to imagine the offended look on his face, one of his most punchable expressions actually.

“I am by far the most attractive guy here. The rest of these shanks look like klunk in cargo shorts.”

“Yeah no. You don’t even break the top 21 on my list.” Once you reach the wall, you lean against it, waiting for the doors to open. When you look at Minho he quirks an eyebrow.

“You have a list?” He pauses for a moment, “Wait there’s only 22 gladers. You included yourself on your own list?”

“Good job! I wasn’t sure if you knew how to count.”

“Slim it. So who’re the top 3?”

You pause for a moment pretending to mull it over. “Well, Gally’s got that whole tall and brooding thing going. And Nick, well I like a man who can take charge-”

“Yeah, yeah okay I get it.” He waves his hand in the air rather indignantly, dismissing what you said. After a minute of silence. the grating sound of rock being dragged against rock echoes through the Glade as the Doors finally start to open. As he tightens the straps of his harness, Minho glances down at the ground and pauses for a moment before he snickers, “You better tie your shoes if you don’t want to trip and ruin your pretty face. Might knock you down a few pegs on that list of yours.”

~

It had been hours since you’d left the Glade, running the familiar course of the Maze. The only entertainment being watching the way the back of Minho’s neck turns a lovely shade of red every time you make a particularly irritating comment.

“Hey it’s getting late. We should go back to the Glade.”

Minho shakes his head in disbelief. “It’s not that late. We still have plenty of time to get back.”

“But I finally convinced Fry to make bacon and there's no way that they’ll be any left unless we get there early.” You draw out the last syllable in a whine, knowing exactly how to get under his skin.

He pivots, still continuing to run just now facing backwards. “Is Frypans bacon really more important than finding a way out of this hell hole?”

“Yes!”

“...Fine-” His sigh of annoyance is cut off abruptly as he trips, falling backwards and landing with a loud huff as the air is knocked out of his lungs.

“Shit, Minho!” You kneel beside him as he lays still, “Are you okay?!” Your voice seems to ricochet off the walls.

It takes a moment before he groans, his eyes still closed. “Why are you so shucking loud?”

“Sorry. Are you okay?” Quieting your tone, you hover over him.

He finally opens his eyes, “M’ fine. I just tripped.” Pushing himself up, he tries to stand but the minute he puts pressure on his ankle he gasps in pain, stumbling into you as you stand to catch him.

“Shit. Okay, you just need to sit down.” You lead him over to the wall, letting him support himself against it before he slides down to sit. When he stretches his legs out in front of him you take to kneeling again, this time next to his feet. Rolling back the bottom of his pant leg you check to see how bad his ankle is and judging by the wincing and the gritting of his teeth you’re betting on not good.

It’s only been a minute but you feel your heart drop at the way it’s already swollen and starting to bruise. You frown as you press your finger against it lightly, snapping your hand back as Minho recoils, growling in pain.

“Don’t touch it!”

“Fine. Good luck finding someone else in here that’ll help you. I’m sure the Grievers would be happy to assist.”

“It just hurts asshole, no need to get snappy.”

“Yeah, yeah just stop your whining you big baby.”

He cringes as you begin to prod his ankle again and sets his head back to rest against the wall.

“Well I’d say it’s just a fracture, it doesn't look too messed up- Minho?” He doesn’t respond. “Hey! Minho!” You reach in front of his face and snap your fingers, “C’mon I need you to wake up!”

He moans as he opens his eyes, well squints his eyes. He can barely keep them open half way, “Why is it so bright in here?”

Furrowing your eyebrows you glance up, it really isn’t that bright, gray clouds float across the majority of the sky and cover most of the sun. Looking back at his face, you can’t stop the nauseating feeling of fear that gnaws in your stomach. “Here, move your head off the wall, I need to check something.”

The dark stain on the wall where he was resting against is enough evidence but some irrational, hopeful part of you checks anyways, reaching around him and pressing your fingers to the back of his head. When you bring your hand back, your fingers are covered in blood.

“Damn it.” You try your hardest to push down the anxiety thundering in your stomach as you grab Minho’s arm and wrap it around your shoulder. Now is not the time to panic. “We need to get you back to the Glade.”

~

You’re not surprised he’s heavy, almost a year of running almost everyday tends to build up a lot of muscle however that doesn't make it any easier for you to carry him. You had to have been stumbling around for hours before you had to fully set him down to catch your breath.

“You really need to lay off Fry’s cooking. I’m telling him that you’re going on a diet the minute we get back.”

You only get silence in response, prompting you to look over and make sure he hadn’t passed out again. His eyes were open but his mind seemed to be elsewhere, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes focusing on something on the wall across from the one you were leaning against. You raise your hand and rest it against his shoulder, “Minho?”

“You need to leave me behind.”

The nauseous feeling returns, “What? No way I’m leaving you here to be Griever food.”

His face twists in frustration as he turns to look at you. “We’ll both be killed if you don’t get the hell out!”

“We still have time! I can carry you the rest of the way just fine.” Grabbing his wrist you pull his arm across your shoulders, tightening your grip when you feel him try to tug his arm back. “We’re going.” You wrap your arm around his waist to support him as you force him to stand.

He tries to pull away, “Why are you being so shucking stubborn! I can barely walk! There’s no way you’ll make it time before the Doors close.”

“Well that’s tough for me I guess.” You begin to walk forward, trying to adjust the way his body weight rested against you.

He begins to say your name but you interrupt him, “No! I’m not leaving you and that’s final.” Cursing the slight waver in your voice you continue to look ahead, choosing to ignore the frustrated look on his face.

It doesn’t take long for exhaustion to set in, Minho seeming to weigh even more every ten minutes. As you drag your feet across the uneven floor, the toe of your shoe catches on a crack, sending you both stumbling forward for what seems like the fiftieth time. The only difference is that this time you aren’t able to catch yourself, fatigue catching up with you and sending both you and Minho careening forward.

Stabbing pain shoots through your legs as you fall to your knees, the sound of Minho groaning in pain causes waves of guilt to wash over you. The sudden realization of just how dire your situation seems to suffocate you.

This was all your fault, if you hadn’t been so annoying Minho never would have tripped. If you were strong enough you would have been able to carry him all the way. Why weren’t you strong enough?

The soft call of your name shakes you out of your stupor, it’s followed by a hand pressed against the side of your face. It’s only when his thumb swipes against your cheek that you realize you’re crying.

“I’m sorry.” You shift slightly until you’re sitting down, knees pulled up to your chest. He follows and sits next you with his legs stretched out, hissing as he accidentally drags his ankle across the ground. “This is my fault.” Staring at the exposed part of his ankle, your stomach swirls at the dark purple bruising.

When he notices you staring he’s quick to pull his pant leg down, “This isn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have been running backwards.” He watches you for a second, contemplating, before he speaks again, “You can still leave now and make it.”

“I’m not talking about this again.”

“Why not-”

“I just can’t leave you behind okay! It would kill me knowing that I got us into this mess and I couldn’t get both of us out alive.”

“So you’re just going to kill yourself because you would feel bad if you didn’t?” At his harsh words you whip your head to look at him, surprised to find him angry, his nose flaring and teeth gritting.

“Why are you getting so mad?! And you know it’s more than that! I’m not leaving you here, you can yell all you want but it’s not going to change anything.”

He throws his hands up in the air in indignation, “Why?! Why do you have to be so stubborn!” His tone is harsh and he practically spits his words at you.

A flurry of emotions lodges in your throat and a burning, hot anger ignites in the deepest pits of your stomach. Your lips are moving faster than your brain can process, “Because I love you, you idiot! I can’t just leave you behind because you're the reason I haven’t jumped the shucking Cliff yet!” Your heart is beating impossible fast and for a split second you wonder if it’s going to beat right out of your chest. You watch as Minho’s face morphs into an expression of shock and before you can identify the emotion swirling in his eyes you swear you can hear someone's footsteps.

You scramble to your feet, straining your ears in hopes that you weren’t imagining it. In the distance you hear the rushed strides of someone running in your direction and you swear you feel your heart skip a beat. It was far too late for another runner to be out in the Maze.

“Hey!” Cupping your hands around your mouth you hope they hear you. You hear Minho grunt and the sound of him dragging against the stone wall as he stands.

His voice rings through Maze as he calls out.

After a moment of tense silence you hear the quick foot falls of another runner getting closer before you spot his familiar blond hair turning the corner.

“Ben! Oh my god!”

He comes to a stop in front of you, his expression worried, “What are you guys still doing here? The Doors are closing soon!”

“Minho got hurt and I wasn’t able to carry him all the way back. Why are you out so late?”

“I figured I’d stay out later than usual. Had a bad feeling.” He glances over your shoulder to look at Minho. “We need to get going if we want to make it in time.”

Nodding your head, you turn around and make your way over to where Minho is leaning against the wall. You can feel his eyes on you, pleading for you to look at him but you’re adamant at avoiding eye contact. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Ben glancing back and forth between you, no doubt feeling the tension.

Having someone else there to help made carrying Minho infinitely easier and the three of you stumbled through the doors just as they began to groan, closing behind you.

“What took you so bloody long?” The familiar accent of Newt floats across the Glade but you’re too exhausted to even look in his direction. It isn’t until he’s standing right in front of you that you tear your eyes from Ben and Minho as they make their way to the Med-Jack hut.

“Minho fractured his ankle and got a concussion.” Your hands clench in anger as you speak, “If it hadn’t been for Ben we wouldn’t have made it out.”

“Aren’t you going to go check on him?” Newt frowns at you.

The thought of being in the same room with Minho after you practically dumped your heart out on him made your stomach churn. “No, I think- I think I’m just going to let him rest for now.”

Newt opens his mouth to comment, no doubt going to point out that you never left Minho’s side but you’re quick to interrupt him. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to go shower and get some rest.” You force a smile and begin to walk in the direction of the showers before he’s able to speak.

It seems to take ages to get to the bathrooms. Fatigue makes your limbs feel sluggish and the adrenaline of being in the Maze ebbs away, leaving aching muscles in its wake. You can’t seem to shake the thoughts of Minho as you scrub yourself clean. He probably wanted nothing to do with you and your big fat mouth. If you’d only bitten your tongue for another minute you wouldn’t have this looming air of regret suffocating you.

The regret seems to pull tighter against your throat when you notice your hammock, still twisted from this morning. Tears gather at your waterline, threatening to spill over. The view in front of you is distorted and watery and your fingers fumble with the twisted strings before you give up, whining in frustration.

You pause for a moment before turning in the direction of the Med-Jack hut, your heart desperately yearning to see him. Before you have time to think, you’re wiping your teary eyes with the back of your hand and practically jogging to the little run down shack, ignoring the throbbing pain in your legs.

Hesitating at the door you take a deep breath, steadying yourself before you’re pushing against it. The room is silent, both Clint and Jeff having left and gone to bed. Scanning the room you notice a bed in the corner, Minho sleeping peacefully under it’s covers. His face slack as he rests, his forehead covered by a thin, white bandage that stretches around his head. As you silently pull up a chair to his bedside you study him, it isn’t often you get to see his face when it isn’t creased with stress or in any expression other than a smirk.

Smiling softly. you reach up and pull his blanket up a little higher until it covers his shoulders, the night had a cold edge to it despite it being well into summer. After sitting there for a few minutes your eyelids begin to get heavy, like something was weighing them down. For a moment the idea of walking back to your hammock crosses your mind but you immediately dismiss it, just thinking about getting up is exhausting. You cross your arms on the side of his bed and rest your head against them. It doesn’t take long before the comfort of sleep consumes you.

Garbled words and the feeling of something brushing against your face is what wakes you this time. Opening your eyes, the first thing you notice are Minho’s pretty brown ones staring back at you, the next thing you notice are the hushed snickers from behind you. Shooting up straight you feel the warm rush of embarrassment flood your cheeks.

“It was about time you woke up!” Clint pipes up, “Lover boy here hasn’t stopped staring at you since we came in here to check on him.”

This time, pink begins to tint Minho’s cheeks and creep up his neck, “Slim it! Get outta here would ya?”

“Okay! We’re going!” You turn around just in time to see Clint pushing Jeff out the door and throwing you a wink before shutting the door.

The awkwardness is palpable as you stare down at your lap. The bed creaks as Minho shifts to sit up against the headboard, the sound seeming incredibly loud in the silence. Mustering up your courage you finally speak.

“I’m sor-”

“I love you too!’

Your head shoots up as he interrupts you, eyes wide as you take in his expression that mirrors your own.

“What?”

His body language tells you that he had most definitely not meant to say that, his mouth moving up and down as he tries to figure out what to say.

Your heart catches in your throat as you process his words, “You love me?”

At the slow nod of his head, a beaming smile splits your face, and before you can stop yourself you're pulling him into a crushing hug. Caught off guard, he stiffens for a moment as you wrap your arms around him but as soon as you let out a shaky breath against his neck he winds his arms around you.

“Is this okay?”

At your hushed tone he pulls you tighter against him, “This is more than okay.”

[ivorydragoness44]

Harry Hook x VK!Reader: Risky

Word Count: 1,848

Notes: A late night visit by a young pirate takes a turn. Parental Guidance Provided By: Hades, God of the Underworld. Hi, how ya doin’?

~~~~  ~~~~

     The nightlife on the Isle of the Lost was a little off and on. Even villains and their kids needed their sleep; if they could get it. Rather than poke around to see if anyone was up to something of interest, you decided previously in the day to lounge around at home. It was not as if anyone would dare show up near Hades’ residence, much less knock. It was pretty hard not to notice the signs at the entrance. So, for the time being, you were in the midst of rereading a book that you had read at least twice before; good fictional novels were hard to come by.

       Then you heard something just outside your bedroom window. You froze, and listened intently to the sounds that followed. You reached over to grab a two foot long pipe that you had tucked away beside your nightstand, ready to defend yourself from any would-be intruder.

       But then you heard the all too familiar grumble of your boyfriend, Harry Hook, in his struggle to open the window.

       You let out a small laugh, not even about to bother to hop out of bed to help him. After another set of moments, Harry finally and yet somehow managed to hop in through the bedroom window. As his boots made contact with the flooring, there was a significant thud that broke through the silence that made you cringe.

       Harry let out a huff, his eyes inspected the window for a second, then focused to your form on the bed.

       “Hello, beautiful.”

       Another laugh escaped you. “Hi, Harry.”

       His smile faded. “I thought you’d be happier to see me, love.”

       “A little surprised, but I don’t mind. What brings you here this late anyhow?” You asked, hiding away the makeshift weapon.

       His smile returned. “I am in need of a little TLC provided by my gorgeous girl.”

       “You want to cuddle? Are you looking to get torched by my dad?”

       “Cuddling with you isn’t loud,” he defended, as he fiddled with the hook in his grasp.

       “Shhh! No, but you are.”

       “All right, all right. Gosh, can’t even have some alone time with you.”

       “Just remember to keep your voice down, okay?” You attempted to warn him as he walked closer to stand beside the mattress. You were thankful that you had such luxuries; not many on the Isle had access to even minute comforts.

       “I swear. Your dad, won’t even know I was here.”

       Harry kicked off his boots first as he unzipped and shrugged off his red jacket. This was not the sneaky pirate’s first time staying over. He had already spent at least two in your room, it was quite rare. As he tossed his jacket to the foot of your bed, he struck up conversation.

       You gave in.

       “And how is my little dove tonight?” Harry asked and gingerly placed his hook on the nightstand.

       You dropped your head down onto the pillow as he climbed into bed to snuggle up next to you. “Kinda tired, but not really.”

      The two of you spoke in whispers. Though, Harry likely thought that you did so because it was nighttime and were in need of sleep, as opposed to your father currently being home.

       You pulled up a blanket over him as he settled beside you. He particularly liked to curl up beside you, his focus solely on you. “What about you though? Couldn’t sleep either?”

       “That, and I wanted to be with you again without having to wait for tomorrow.”

       “And no one followed you here?”

       “Nope.”

       “Impressive.”

       “You truly think so?”

       “Yeah, I mean there are riskier scenarios than this I suppose.”

       “Ha, like what?”

       “Well, uh, for instance… messing with Cruella’s fur coats.”

       “Risky? That’s asking for gruesome pain.”

       “That’s assuming that she can catch you. I heard a rumor about animal traps a couple of years back.”

       “Ha, you’re lookin’ at the uncatchable, darling. I made my way in here without even a scratch.”

       “Oh, yeah?” You asked, poking his nose. “What about your little tango with the window?”

       “Just a temporary setback,” Harry reasoned. He wrapped his free arm over your torso in a hug. The sweet neck kisses that followed let you know exactly how much he could not wait until the next day to spend more time with you.

       Harry and yourself continued to go back and forth with a variety of situations that may be equal to or worse than pulling one over Hades. None that you would dare try of course. You had to smother a few laughs at times, in hopes that you would not alert said Olympian. It was fun. As much as you and Harry could talk, at times you did not have to. Just to enjoy one another’s company was enough.

       Eventually your eyelids both began to flutter close. Harry tried to fight the sleep more than you did, but gave in, nuzzling his face against your neck.

      The bedroom door creeped open. The chiseled face of none other than Hades peeked in to check on his daughter. He saw your peaceful face, something that he never saw on the island from others. However, he sensed that something was off. With a gentle nudge, he pushed open the door more. His hard eyes searched the rest of your bedroom, dimly lit in moonlight. The one window he saved for you especially. Then, his eyes locked on another form, and his hair sparked a flicker of blue flame. His jaw set tightly as he went stiff at the sight of Harry Hook curled up next to his daughter.

       How did this kid even get in here? WHY was he here?

       Hades’s protective fatherly instincts kicked in wildly. It did not matter that you both had cutely nudged each other in your sleep, that kid had to go or he would literally be toast.

       With a deep cough, Hades startled both of you awake.

       You clawed at the mattress from the pang of fright that erupted in your chest, and hardly noticed Harry tighten his hold on you. Within a moment, the pair of you identified the source of the scare. Arms crossed over his chest, Hades stood menacingly in the center of the doorway.

       It was like you had feared in the beginning. There was no way to save Harry from your father’s wrath.

       Both of you remained still, hardly a breath taken for what felt like eternity.

       “Take your stuff and get out,” Hades snarled, his hair flared up threateningly. “And don’t make me repeat myself or that hook is the only thing making it out of this house in one piece.”

       With his head held low in submission, Harry scrambled out of the bed and grabbed his jacket, and boots in all but seconds. He almost left without his hook before he nearly tossed himself out of the window to escape your father.

       Hades walked over and shut the window with a small smile to his face. It was a wonder that he ever agreed to make you a window; you felt too confined without some source of external light.

       “Are you happy now?” You asked, and ran a hand through your own perturbed hair.

       “Yes, I am,” he boasted smugly.

       “We didn’t do anything, if that’s what you’re wondering,” you added quietly.

       “I know,” he acknowledged, making his way back to the door, “I’m just going about my parenting duties.”

       He wanted so desperately now to find a way to get you both off of the Isle. He wanted you to live better than this, but that could wait for another day.

       “Sleep well, firefly,” he smiled softly, and closed the door behind him.

       “Night,” you replied, and curled back into the blankets.                

~~~~  ~~~~  ~~~~  ~~~~

Previously posted on my Deviantart.

[mggssocks]

Followed- part 2

Not My Gif!

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Content Warnings: regular criminal minds stuff. (please let me know if i missed anything!)

Summary: Spencer makes an Instagram and stumbles across reader’s page.

Word Count: 2.2k +

A/N: Thank you so much for the love i have received on my last chapter!!! It means so much to me. Also i’m going to try to update chapters as much as i can but i’m graduating in a few weeks and i will have a lot going on. But again, thank you guys!!! xoxo

masterlist // part 1

Although he was only going off of a few hours of sleep, Spencer came to work with a pep in his step today. His interaction with this girl was very brief but he still got butterflies with the thought. He was early as usual so he made himself a cup of coffee and sat at his desk, settling in. He pulled out his phone and reread the text messages that the two of you shared. When he finished reading the short message thread, his thumb hovered over the letter G. He wanted to type “good morning” but he didn’t want to come off as too clingy or overbearing. That in fact was the last thing he wanted. 

“Hey Spence” he hears from behind him, causing him to jump and quickly lock his phone before shoving it into his coat pocket. 

“Hi” he turns around to see JJ and forms his mouth into a straight line. 

She eyes him weirdly. Something was up.

“Everything okay?” She asked. Knowing how Spencer was, she wasn’t expecting him to answer truthfully. Especially with him jumping startledly like he just did at a simple ‘hi’.

“No- yeah. Yeah I’m fine. What about you? Are you okay?” He asked to switch the conversation around. 

Yeah. Something was definitely up.

“I’m… fine?” She answers confused

He nods awkwardly. She was just about to ask him if he was sure that he was fine but everyone else started to walk in and she knew if he was being this secretive with her, he definitely wouldn’t want everyone else to be in his business. So she drops it… at least for now. 

Garcia speed walked into the bullpen with a file or two in her hand, not bothering to say anything to the team. She goes straight to the conference room.

“Looks like we have a case” Morgan declared as he walked past the desks and up the stairs. Everyone else followed.

“And from the looks of it, it’s bad,” says Emily. 

They settle in their seats as Garcia passes Spencer his case file while everyone else gets on their tablets.

“We’re going to Wichita, Kansas.” Hotch says as he was the last one to come into the conference room.

“This sicko stabs straight through the heart. They chop off as much hair as they can before shoving it in the victim’s mouths.” Garcia speaks, a little disturbed a little while avoiding her gaze from the screen.

“Four victims within one week. There’s no cooling off period at all” Morgan said, swiping through his tablet.

“Which is why we’re debriefing on the jet. Wheels up.”

——————

After the team debriefed on the jet, Garcia chimed in through the video chat.“Guys, A store owner just found another victim.” 

The team looks at one another. Hotch sighs momentarily before speaking.

“Alright, JJ, you and Reid to the M.E. Morgan and Rossi go to the latest crime scene and Prentiss and I will go and set up at the station.” 

Everyone nods their head at their temporary partners for confirmation.

————

“So on the first victim, the person hesitated.” The examiner spoke factually.

“-And on the other four he didn’t hesitate at all” spoke JJ, trying to get the bigger picture. 

“Exactly. Now with the new victim… I noticed something strange. “ She walked over to the newest victim from earlier that day and the agent and dr followed her.

She turned the woman’s head and revealed a cat-like scratch with three of them synchronized.

JJ and Spencer looked at each other. After they called the other team members to fill them in, they walked to the car in pure silence.

“So… this morning” says JJ, walking to the driver’s side.

Spencer gives her a questioning look as he takes the passenger seat.

“What about this morning?” He asked in a suspicious tone and avoided her gaze by looking out of the window.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Spence, but I know something’s going on. Just tell me that it’s nothing bad.” She put her seatbelt on.

Spencer didn’t dare to give in “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

——————- 

After three days, they finally caught the unsub. The man was purely a sick and twisted psychopath. Jeffery Magnum. A 30 year old man who was severely abused as a child. His mother would make him eat the cat’s fur balls for dinner and when he refused, she would shave him bald. His mother died and that was the stressor that made him begin to kill.

As they boarded the plane, Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ sat together in the four seats. Rossi and Hotch sat together in the seats across from each other behind them. Spencer sat on the couch, far away from everyone. He wasn’t trying to distance himself. He just wanted to sit alone.

He pulled his phone out. He hasn’t thought much about that girl since he’s obviously been busy but now he was thinking about her. When he opened the app, he saw that she had posted a story. Before he watched her story, he clicked on her account and scrolled a little. She posted a lot of books and her cat too. Spencer really liked this one in particular.

26 likes

Yourinstagram I looked up from my book and seen this. thought it was a great photo op. 

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He comes across a picture that really catches his attention.

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Yourinstagram okay just finished these two Jung books. He’s officially my favorite psychology/ prolific author. Freud’s got nothing on this guy.

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Spencer nodded his head approvingly. He swiped back to look at her Instagram story. 

He swiped up, thinking of a way to start a conversation. He just wanted to talk. About what? He doesn’t know.

spencerreid what’s tomorrow?

As expected, she didn’t respond right away. Instead of waiting for a response, Spencer picks up a book to occupy his attention. About 15 minutes later, his phone vibrates and an Instagram notification pops up. It catches the attention of JJ and she looks from the corner of her eye.

Spencer let’s 3 minutes pass by before responding because he didn’t want to seem too eager to talk to her. Although he definitely was.

yourinstagram nothing special! I’m a pastry chef so I’m just preparing them for the week! 

spencerreid Do you have some sort of bakery?

yourinstagram yup :)

Spencer didn’t know what to text back. So he started a new conversation with her.

spencerreid By the way I was looking at your page and seen that you read Carl Jung books.

yourinstagram you were stalking my page??

He started to panic. He didn’t mean it like a weirdo.

spencerreid I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to see what you were about, I guess.

yourinstagram relax haha I was kidding. And yes I do like Carl Jung books. What about you? Jung or Freud?

spencerreid I’m a fan of both, though I feel as if Jung was more open minded.

yourinstagram you, my friend, have great taste.

Although he knew “my friend” was just a term, Spencer couldn’t help but let a smile spread across his face. 

JJ notices and nudges Morgan who was listening to music. Prentiss notices JJ’s act and she gives her a questioning look. JJ nods her head towards Reid who was smiling at his phone. Emily who was sitting next to the window across from Morgan leaned over the seat to get a peek at Spencer.

She looks back to JJ. “What?”

“He’s been acting weird since before we left for this case. Like… secretive.”

Derek quirks an eyebrow. “You think he’s got something going on?” 

JJ shrugs.

“Hey” Emily says to Spencer.

He doesn’t necessarily jump but he was obviously startled. 

“What are you smiling about?” She asked. JJ and Derek watched as he fumbled over his words.

“I- uh-just- just a joke” Spencer cringed internally, because not even he, himself was buying it.

“What’s the joke?” Derek asked.

“It’s… nothing you would find amusing.” 

The three pretended to believe him and gave each other subtle glances before continuing what they were doing. Spencer turned back to his phone.

yourinstagram I’m y/n by the way. Just thought I’d formally introduce myself.

spencerreid I’m Spencer.

yourinstagram It’s nice to meet you, Spencer.

spencerreid It’s nice to meet you as well, Y/N.

After the jet landed, it was only 3:00 in the afternoon. Hotch gave them the rest of the day off so Spencer decided to head home and catch up on some sleep that he’s missed these past few days. 

He knew that it’d be terrible traffic on his way home. But since he stupidly decided to drive to work a few days ago, he couldn’t take the subway. He had to drive home. After about 10 minutes of sitting in his car calculating the fastest route home during traffic hours, he decides to take a way that he’s never taken before.

It would take him about thirty minutes but on his normal route during traffic hours, it would take him an hour and twenty. 

While driving, he catches a glimpse of a bakery and his stomach automatically growls. He decided that he’d stop by. Spencer walked into the shop and it wasn’t very busy. He looked over all of the options while waiting for someone to come to the counter.

A girl soon trails around dusting her hands off on her yellow apron. Her hair tied back in a ponytail.

“Hi. How can I help you?” She gives a kind smile.

“Uh- can I have two of the Danish pastries And a water?” He asked.

“Of course! Will that be all?” She puts some clear gloves on and makes her way over to the pastries.

“Yes” Spencer answers, digging through his satchel for his wallet.

She puts the treats in an apricot colored box, closed with a sticker with the name of the bakery. 

She puts the order in and looks back up at him “That’ll be $5.37!” 

He’s finally able to get a feel for his wallet and pulls out his card, handing it to her. She swipes it and hands it back over to him after it was approved along with his box and a reusable water bottle. He murmurs a thank you before leaving and heading to his apartment, enjoying the delicious danishes and finishing up some case files.

*******

“Seriously, Y/n. There’s so many relationship opportunities in Virginia. And you’re thinking about someone from a social media platform. You’ve never even seen them.” Your older sister lectures you as you close up the shop.

“Woah woah woah. I never said anything about a relationship with him. He’s nice but I’m not going to date someone over the internet. For all I know, he could be from England. I just said we both have an understandable love for Carl Jung in common.” You explained.

“Mom is worried about you. You’re thirty and you haven’t even found someone you’re interested in.” She lifts her eyebrow.

“She doesn’t need to worry about me. And every single woman doesn’t need to get married and settle down in their thirties.” you argue back

“She wants grandchildren, y/n. And not just from one of her kids.” 

“Look. I’m fine. You guys need to stop with the pressuring. I’m happy and I have all that I can ask for right now. When that time comes then it comes but for right now, i’m content” You shrug as you lock up all of the treats in the display cases.

She gives up the argument. And there is a weight of silence that fell between the two of you.

“Alright. Dave and the kids are expecting me so I'm going to get some pizza and head home.” she says, breaking the silence.

“Okay. Love you. Be safe. Bye” you say to her. 

After locking up the shop, you head home and when you open your door, you are greeted by your cat, Luna. After locking the door, you kneel down to properly greet your baby.

“Hey, girl” you pick her up and make your way to the kitchen, opening the fridge to see what options you had to eat for dinner.

You decided on some grilled cheese and tomato soup so that’s what you made.

*****

You throw the crust down on your plate, flipping the page of the book you were almost done with. You were curled up on the side of the couch with Luna sleeping by your feet. After finishing the last page, you were bored enough to go onto twitter and then instagram. 

As you make your way to his dm, you bite your lip, hesitant to say something. You didn’t often speak to people through social media. But he’s already texted first so the least you can do is text something first this time. You were uncertain, but you did it anyway.

yourinstagram hey

You mentally smack yourself as you look at the time. He’s probably already slee-

spencerreid Hi.

yourinstagram i was thinking….

spencerreid About?

yourinstagram I told you what i do for a living. I figured it’s only right that you told me what you do..

spencerreid I’m in the FBI. I’m a profiler.

yourinstagram that’s pretty impressive.

You didn’t know it but Spencer was blushing.

spencerreid Thank you.

yourinstagram you’re based in D.C right?

spencerreid That would be correct.

yourinstagram That’s funny.

spencereid Why is it funny?

yourinstagram because I live in D.C too.

[harksness]

No Longer Yours (Chapter 4)

Agatha Harkness x Reader

Masterlist × Chapter Three  × Chapter Five

A/N: Your Song by Elton John makes me think of Agatha for some reason so I needed to work it into this fic somehow. Also, thank you all so much for your support, I’m so happy to see how much love this fic is getting!! I reread all of the comments on it all of the time it just makes me so happy! I also edited all of this and stayed up until 2AM working on this for you guys because I wanted to update it for you so bad, I feel like it’s a lil sloppy in some parts but I hope it ended up okay!! 

A/N: Okay YIKES I came back and edited it hopefully I fixed all the mistakes bc like I said... YIKES.

Word Count: 5,383

Summary: You're excited to spend time with Billy and Tommy.

Warnings: None.

When you woke up, you felt good. Content and happy, the stress of your life temporarily lifted off of your shoulders. But that feeling was short-lived when you noticed the lack of Agatha in your bed, and it was quickly replaced with a pit of growing anxiety. It felt strange not having her arms wrapped around you when you woke up.

“Agatha..?”

You called out nervously as you sat up in bed, your voice cracking as you yelled out for your wife. You cringed at how you sounded, like a child calling for their mother after having woken up from a nightmare. You couldn't help it. Worry filled you when you noticed she wasn't by your side. If a migraine overtakes you, who will be here to pick up your pieces and make sure you’re okay? Who will draw you back into reality?

Every time you’ve been overtaken by that unbearable pain she’s been the one to ground you. She’s always been there to anchor you and put you back together. What will you do without her? Panic consumes you- your heart beating so rapidly you feel as if it'll pop right out of your chest.

Muffled voices sounded from downstairs, and after a brief pause, it was followed by the familiar sound of Agatha’s heavy footsteps making their way up the stairs. 

“Oh my gosh you’re finally awake! You must actually be Sleeping Beauty, I was starting to get worried.”

Agatha joked softly as she appeared in the doorway, and immediately she knew something was wrong.

“Where did you go?”

Her heart sank at the sound of your voice, a sharp drop into her stomach. You sounded so small and broken, and your eyes, looking to her for help made her heart flutter. You needed her. Everything that she had worked so hard for was coming to fruition- you needed her again. 

She let a comforting smile flutter across her features as she quickly made her way to you, sitting down on the bed next to you.

“Oh, baby.. I’m right here.”

She coos, wrapping her arms around you and pulling you close to her. She can’t help the pride that swells within her when you tightly wrap your arms around her waist, burying your face into her chest. Her fingers softly comb through your locks, and she does her best to be gentle as she works the knots out of your hair. 

The fact that you had broken through the sleep spell she had cast on you didn’t matter right now. Sure, it could interfere with her later plans but she’ll cross that bridge when she comes to it. The only thing that matters right now is that you need her. The need is different now then when you’re lost in a migraine, or coming out of that post-spell haze, now you realize that you need her to hold you together. Agatha feels consumed with happiness, like she just might combust- you need her.

You immediately feel a sense of relief when she wrapped her arms around you, as her soft voice reached your ears. She’s here and you’re safe.

“I’m sorry if I worried you, hon.. You were so tired, I just wanted to let you get your rest. I’ll never be far away from you. I’ll always be here.”

She whispered softly into the roots of your hair, and again, you felt relief. She will always be here to protect you, just a shout away. There was a knot of uneasiness in the pit of your stomach, but it was easy to ignore it by focusing on the ghost of her lips against your head.

“It’s okay, I don’t know why I got so worried.”

You laughed it off as you pulled back slightly, not wanting her to let you go. You’re guessing she could sense this, because she squeezed you softly- a reassurance that she will always be here.

“The last few days have been rough.. It’s understandable. I’ll always be here for you to fall back on, no matter what.”

Agatha leans in and rests her forehead against yours, a soft smile on her lips. Your heart flutters in your chest at the gesture, her lips leaving a soft, reassuring kiss against yours. You’re disappointed when she pulls away, but you don’t fail to notice how your chest feels less heavy in the aftermath of her comforting words and loving touches.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Agatha Harkness.”

You smile softly at her, and Agatha feels the air leave her lungs when your eyes meet hers. Like she’s the only thing in the world that matters. You need her and she can see it in your eyes.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you either, my sweet girl.”

She hums happily as she peppers your face in adoring kisses, her hands coming up to cup your cheeks as she kisses the corners of your smile. Your heart swells at the affectionate gesture, you’re being showered in so much love you feel like you just might die of happiness. Just then the sound of muffled voices reach your ears once again.

“Is someone here?”

Your wife leans back, her hands reluctant to leave your cheeks.

“Billy and Tommy. I checked in on Wanda earlier and she was having a rough morning so I offered to look after her little rays of sunshine. I hope that’s okay?”

At her words you sit up, scrambling to get out of bed and gather your clothes for the day. You swallow hard at the loss of contact, missing the feeling of her comforting, soft touch, but you’re so focused on getting ready and seeing the twins that you just brush off the feeling.

“Of course it’s okay! Why didn’t you say they were here?”

“I guess I was just too focused on helping my ray of sunshine cheer up.”

Agatha smiled at you from where she was sitting on the edge of your shared bed, and you couldn’t help but return the sweet smile. She’s such a romantic.

You lean down and press a soft kiss against her forehead.

“I gave them the candy bars you saved for them, they were very excited. Wanda, not so much.”

A laugh escaped your lips at her words, and she stood from the bed.

“I’m glad they were excited! Thank you for doing that for me.”

She comes up to you, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling your body flush to hers. You melt at the contact, a smile spreading across your features- you feel drunk off of her.

“Of course, anything for my darling girl.”

She purred softly into your neck, before leaving a kiss over one of the many purple marks she had colored your skin with last night. Her hands wrapped around your waist, inching lower.

“Agatha! Billy and Tommy are downstairs!”

You laugh as she continues to trace the marks on your neck with her kisses.

“Yeah, they’re downstairs-”

“Ag’s! Not now!”

She leans back and purses her lips in disappointment.

“You’re so needy..”

You can’t help but taunt her, and she purses her lips down at you.

“Yeah, and you’re such a tease.”

Agatha pouts and you roll your eyes playfully at your wife as you both begin to make your way downstairs, leading your wife out of your bedroom. Right when Billy and Tommy see you, they jump up in excitement.

“Hi boys!”

You smile brightly as they jump up and race around the couch to greet you, and that’s when the sound of the radio in the kitchen reaches your ears, the soft sound of Let It Be by The Beatles drifting through the air. It’s quiet and barely audible, Agatha loves listening to music in the morning, on that dingy little radio of hers while she drinks her tea.

“Auntie! Thank you for the candy bars!”

Tommy says as he reaches you first, wrapping his arms around your torso to give you a big hug that you quickly reciprocated. Billy is not too far behind.

“I’m happy to see you’re feeling better, Auntie! We were worried about you when Aunt Agnes said you were sick.”

You pull the other twin in for a hug as Tommy moves away, he wraps his little arms around your waist and squeezes you tightly.

“You boys are so sweet! I’m doing better now, I promise.”

Agatha grins down at you as she watches you with the children. Whenever you catch her looking at you, she looks so worried. A dull sense of unease rises in your chest, but you do your best to push it down. She’s just worried about you having another migraine, that’s all. 

“I’ll go make you a cup of tea.”

She says softly before making her way to the kitchen. You notice the uneaten sandwiches and juice sitting on the coffee table.

“Oh! Did Auntie Agnes make you some lunch? I need to eat too, why don’t we all eat, then we can play a game of hide and seek, hm?”

You ask them, and immediately the twins perk up at your words.

“Heck yeah, that would be awesome!”

Billy nods eagerly at his brother's words. 

“Alright! Then go and eat up, because it’s not a good idea to play hide and seek on an empty stomach.”

“Yes Ma’am!”

They scurry around the couch and start to inhale their food. You can’t help but laugh at them.

“Hey! Don’t choke you guys, then I’ll have no one to play hide and seek with!”

They call out their apologies to you and you roll your eyes playfully and make your way into the kitchen. You go to the bread drawer and put some bread in the toaster, and right as you do, Agatha approaches you with a hot mug of tea. You take it in your hands and hum appreciatively as you take a cautious sip.

“Just how I like it.”

You smile gratefully at your wife, and you feel your heart skip a beat as the first few notes to a familiar song reach your ears. Agatha gasps.

“It’s our song! Or dare I say.. Your Song.”

She smirks at you as she reaches her hand out for you to take. Agatha pulls you to her, immediately wrapping one arm around your shoulders as you both start to sway to the music and Elton starts to sing.

You feel a sense of familiarity with the song, but you can't quite remember why. 

“It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I’m not one of those who can easily hide..”

You and Agatha start to whisper the lyrics dramatically to each other, laughing as you do so.

“I don’t have much money but, boy, if I did, I’d buy a big house where we both could live..”

As the song continues, you laugh and smile at each other as you softly sing the lyrics and you get the strangest sense of deja vu. In your head it feels as if a distant memory is playing, you and Agatha dancing to this song in your kitchen. It’s all different, though. Your kitchen, you, Agatha. You look slightly younger, your clothes, your home and the decor extremely outdated. 

Your mind switches between the two as you dance. Swapping out the Agatha in front of you for a younger version of your wife. 

Her hair long and flowing, the collar of her white button up shirt folding over the black shirt she was wearing on top of it. Her mothers pendant rested low on her chest, her skirt with a triangular pattern brushing against her legs as you twirled and danced around the kitchen, flickering back to the Agatha in front of you, her hair pulled into a loose bun, stray hairs framing her beautiful features. Now she’s wearing her favorite sweater and a pair of dress pants. Two different Agatha’s from two different centuries, but both of them are wearing the same, lovesick smile, with the same lovestruck eyes.

Agatha takes your hand and twirls you around, and you ever so gracefully bump into the counter and it brings you back to reality. You shake it off as a daydream, even though something doesn’t feel right. She apologizes, and grabs your hip, guiding you back towards her. You make yourself brush it off, and focus on your Agatha in front of you.

You both sang out as you reached the chorus, intentionally being silly and obnoxious as you did so, but quite enough so you hopefully don’t disturb the boys in the next room. Agatha took over singing, placing a hand on her heart as she serenaded you.

“..I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words-”

You join in and sing with her.

“How wonderful life is while you’re in the world!”

You laugh as Agatha grabs your hand and spins you around once again, eventually leaning in and pressing her forehead against yours after slowing down. 

“I swear, this part of the song was written just for you..”

You say quickly before jumping in on the lyrics.

“So excuse me forgetting but these things I do! You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green, or they’re blue-”

You sing out to her, taking her face in your hands as you prepare for the next verse.

“Anyway the thing is, what I really mean..”

You whisper the words as you lean in, allowing your thumbs to softly trace the skin under her eyes, admiring those striking blue orbs of hers. 

“Those are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Agatha laughs bashfully, grabbing you and pulling you into her chest.

“You’re such a romantic.. I love it.”

She kisses the top of your head and your cheeks hurt from how much she makes you smile.

“Says the woman who grabbed me to dance when our song came on.”

You lean back, and the both of you start swaying to the music again. 

“Touche, my love, touche.."

You bury your head in her shoulder as you both continue to dance. Agatha whispers the lyrics to you, her arms holding you tightly to her. You notice how stiff she is, her fingers digging into your skin as she holds onto you. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words..”

Agatha leans back, guiding you to do the same with a soft pull on your chin.

“How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.”

She whispers, her voice cracking near the end. There’s a nostalgic look on her face as she studies you, her lips pulled tight and her eyes swirling with so many different emotions. Agatha swallows hard. You’re not the only one with deja vu, your wife’s heart aches when she remembers how you used to dance to Elton John in your dingy little kitchen all of those years ago. She feels as if you’ve traveled back in time, and she wishes more than anything that the two of you had. 

What she wouldn’t give to go back to those simpler times. When you followed her around like a loyal puppy eager to please it’s master. It was so much easier to protect you then, when you never wanted to leave her side.

You narrow your eyes in confusion at her behavior- she’s acting so strange. You want to ask her what’s wrong, but right at that moment the toaster pops and immediately you jolt, letting a curse fall from your lips.

“Shh, there are young ears present!”

You look back to her and notice the joyful smile on her features. She seems more relaxed than a moment ago, but something about the way she’s been looking at you today makes you feel uneasy. You smile reassuringly at your wife.

“It scared me! I’m sorry!”

You say with a hand over your heart as a breathy laugh falls from your lips. Agatha grins, laughing softly in kind.

You take the toast out of the toaster and begin to spread butter onto it after a moment of letting your heartbeat settle. Your wife leans on the counter next to you.

“God, I feel like I just had a heart attack..”

You let out a deep breath and take a bite of your toast. When you look over at Agatha you notice her staring at the wall in deep thought.

“Ag’s? Is everything okay?”

She looks over to you, immediately a smile stutters onto her features as if she’s trying to reassure you that she's okay.

“Yeah! I’m fine.”

Agatha simply says, and you turn to her, resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Agatha..”

You say accusingly, and she looks up at you once again.

“What’s wrong?”

You beg, squeezing her shoulder comfortingly. Agatha sighs, pausing a moment as she thinks of what to say before turning to you and taking your hands in hers.

“I- I don’t know. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I always have, and always will love you. And that everything I have ever done has been because I love you- because I need you. Okay?”

You swallow hard, analyzing her features. She looks serious, almost scared. 

“I know.. I know you love me more than anything, you do an amazing job making sure I know that without a shadow of a doubt. Now, what’s bringing this on, love?”

Agatha bites her lip as she casts her gaze down to your joined hands, and after a moment her features relax and she just laughs lightly. 

“I don’t know. I’m just having a moment, don’t worry your pretty little head about me.”

She meets your eyes and smiles brightly at you. You smile softly back, not convinced that everything is okay but you don’t want to push her. You trust Agatha, you know she will talk to you when she’s ready.

“Okay, sweetheart… Talk to me when you’re ready, alright?”

You tighten your grip on her hands and look at her with pleading eyes. She meets your gaze and smiles at you with that charming smile of hers before kissing the back of your hands.

“I pinky promise.”

Agatha says softly before letting go of your hands. 

“I’m going to go check on Wanda, okay love?”

She sighs, and you swallow hard, unsure if you should be without her. What if something happens while she's away? What would Billy and Tommy do with you?

"Are you sure I should be left alone with the twins, Ag's.. What if-"

Agatha shushes you, pressing a finger against your lips to accent her point.

"You'll be fine. I'll be right next door, just a shout away if you need anything, alright?"

She says softly, those stunning blue eyes of hers staring intensely into your own. You let out a deep breath at her words, still nervous but more willing.

"It'll be okay."

Agatha repeats once again before leaning in and leaving a lingering kiss on your lips.

You feel all of your fears melt away at her words. She will still be close by, it'll be okay. You let a sigh fall from your lips.

"You're right. Thank you, love."

You smile softly at her. 

“Of course my dear.. I love you.”

“I love you too, Ag’s.”

She returns your soft smile.

"Alright… I'm gonna go. You can do this, baby."

You can do this. 

She leaves a lingering kiss against your forehead before she crosses the kitchen, making her way into the living room, she stops and says something to the boys before looking over her shoulder at you. She winks and blows you a kiss, and you let your toast hang from your teeth as you quickly pretend to catch it. Agatha smiles at you brightly before leaving the house. You scarf down the rest of your toast before going back out to the twins.

You swallow the pit of anxiety in your chest and focus on the game you're about to play.

“Who's ready to play hide and seek?”

Billy and Tommy jump up when they hear your words, running around the couch to meet you.

“Auntie, Tommy and I have decided that you should be the seeker first.”

You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah! Since you live here it would give you an advantage.. We want to go easy on you.”

The twins grin up at you, and you pretend to be offended.

“Oh I’m gonna kick your little butts!”

They take that as their cue to take off, the sounds of their little feet hitting the floor echoing through the house and you quickly call after them. 

“One rule- the basement is off limits, okay?!”

“Alright!”

They yell in mismatched unison before taking off, and you cover your eyes and slowly start to count, and when you reach twenty, you yell out “Here I come!” as loud as you can before you start to search your house.

You begin in the kitchen, making sure to walk a little heavier than usual and close the doors loudly as you move from room to room. You don’t find either one on the first floor, so you slowly begin your descent up the stairs.

You start in your bedroom, you look under the bed, in the closet, and behind the curtains and there’s no sign of either child. Next, you go to the bathroom, dramatically pausing and staring at the drawn shower curtain before flicking on the light.

“I wonder who’s in here.. Billy.. Or-”

“Tommy!”

The boy screams, throwing the curtain open- and it actually scares you. You jump and let out a shout, the child laughing up at you.

“You scare really easily, Auntie.”

You shake your head down at him before playfully smacking his shoulder.

“Yes, I do. But you know what this means? You’re the seeker next! Billy wins!”

Tommy groans and you grin down at him, your heartbeat still slowing from how you were just scared. You must be really anxious if things as simple as a toaster popping or an adorable child can scare you this badly. You grimace, you really need to try and remedy that.

You and Tommy hunt for Billy and eventually find him hiding in the closet in the office. The two of you try to scare him, but he barely even flinches. After that, Tommy begins to count before you and Billy scatter around the house to hide. You manage to squeeze into one of the lower cupboards in the kitchen, even though you’re the adult here and have an obvious advantage over these children, you told them you were going to kick their butts and you have no plans on going back on that statement. 

You pull your legs to your chest and stay silent, eventually hearing Tommy call out

“Here I come!”

After a few moments you hear soft footsteps growing closer, and shuffling around in the kitchen. Then, the cupboard door swings open and the light hits your eyes.

“Found you, Auntie!”

You groan.

“How-?”

“You were really loud.”

You mentally scold yourself. Bested by a child.

“Okay, good one, kid. Now, help me up and don’t tell Aunt Agnes I hid here.”

You grin up at him and he offers his hand to you, and you crawl out of the cupboard.

“Why is Billy so good at hiding!?”

Tommy complains, and you laugh at his words.

“I dunno, he must be a hide and seek expert.”

Again, you find yourself searching the house with Tommy. You sweep the bottom floor to no avail, and eventually reach the upstairs, starting with your bedroom, you move to the bathroom, then in the office you see Billy standing with his arms crossed in the doorway of the closet. The same place he was last time.

“Are you sure I’m a hide and seek expert? Maybe you two are just really bad at it!”

You swear Wanda’s kids are superhuman, how did he hear you say that from all the way downstairs? Tommy approaches his brother and punches him in the arm. 

“Ow!”

“That did not hurt you big baby-!"

“You punched me, of course it hurt-!”

"Hey, knock it off you two!"

You interject, and immediately they quiet down and just continue to glare at each other. You roll your eyes playfully at them.

“Okay, go hide! And no recycling hiding spots! That defeats the purpose of the game, Billy.”

They go to hide and you cover your eyes with your hands and slowly count to twenty, loudly announcing you are coming before removing your hands from your eyes and leaving the room. You search all of the rooms upstairs carefully in your usual fashion before moving downstairs. No sign of the boys yet.

You search the living room, then the kitchen, the dining room, and the bathroom and find nothing. No one. Confused, you search the whole house again, just more carefully. You open all the cupboards in the kitchen, look under the couch, in all the corners, under the tables, under your bed, in your closet, in the shower again, in the bathroom cabinets, under your desk, in the office closet and in every place you can think of, but still you find nothing.

Feeling worry start to bubble in your chest, you start to call out for the twins to come out, telling them they won. Still, they don’t appear. 

You make your way down the stairs, calling out for the boys once more. And you hear silence. The only place they could be is in the basement. At this point you’re starting to panic, calling out for them again, you poke your head into the rooms as you do so on your way to the basement. 

When you reach the door, you pause for a moment. You just realized you’ve never been in your own basement before. Why haven’t you ever been down there? 

Something feels off. Your throat goes dry, and you feel anxiety encase your heart like ice. You take a deep breath in hopes that it will calm you down, but it does nothing to quell the fear rising in your throat. With a reluctant hand, you reach for the doorknob.

And right when you do, the basement door flings open.

Agatha is standing there. She looks flushed and out of breath, taken by surprise. She grins widely at you, her eyes not reaching her smile.

“Heya dollface, what brings you to this part of town?”

She says in that charming voice of hers as she approaches you. You narrow your eyes at her in confusion.

“The twins-”

“They went home. They didn’t say goodbye? I saw them running across the yard on my way back.”

She raises an eyebrow at you, and you cross your arms. She’s lying. You know your wife, and she’s been doing a lot of lying this week, hiding really odd, insignificant things and you don’t know why. You tried brushing it off, the weird feelings and the little lies, thinking it was just a result of your current mental state and you didn’t want to pry her and stress her out more, but you were sick of it. It’s all piling up and you’re about to break. 

“We were in the middle of a game of hide and seek. When did you get back from Wanda’s?”

Agatha takes a step towards you, closing the door behind her. You take a step back.

“Just now-”

“Why were you in the basement?”

Her smile doesn’t falter. She simply blinks dumbly at you while she finds her next words, her next excuse.

“I- I heard a noise from the cellar door on my way home. I noticed it was unlocked so I came in that way, there was nothing wrong though. You don’t need to worry darling, I checked it out and we’re safe and sound.”

She almost sounded convincing- but you were able to listen closely and hear her piece together the lie as she told it. Something is screaming at you to go into the basement. You swallow hard.

“Really? Well, let me double check with you, Agatha…”

You feel the tension between you grow thicker as you wait for her response. She pauses.

“If you insist, my dear.. But I promise you, I checked it all out. I’m sure my terrifying self scared them off.”

She laughs softly, and you force a smile onto your lips at her words. Agatha moves to hold the door open for you.

“After you, M’lady.”

Your wife gestures for you to enter, and you study her for a moment before you do. She seems cool and casual, but you don’t fail to notice the stutter in her voice and the stiffness in her shoulders. You begin to make your way down the dark steps without another word.

The sound of Agatha locking the door and beginning her descent down the stairs makes its way to your ears. You feel the anxiety in your chest squeeze at your heart.

When you reach the bottom, you see nothing. Just some old boxes and furniture, you start to look around. Agatha stands at the bottom of the stairs with her arms crossed- waiting. You stand back after a moment, not having found anything.

“See, I told ya so, darling. Don’t you trust little ol’ me?”

She says, coming up behind you and grabbing your upper arms, squeezing them reassuringly. She lets out a playful laugh as she rests her chin on your shoulder. Something still doesn’t feel right, you scan the room once again and your eyes land on the corner. It feels off.

You stare at it- hard. And that’s when you notice there’s another hallway, walls made of stone and vines crawling out of the doorway. You blink at it, it wasn’t there moments ago. It was like it had been hidden.

You step forward, and go to approach the hallway. You hear Agatha’s rushed footsteps following you.

“Don’t go in there.”

She sounds different. She doesn’t sound like your Agatha anymore- she sounds more raw. More real. More scared. And you ignore her, continuing down the hallway, you carefully step over the vines.

She says your name firmly.

“You’re going to regret this.”

You pause for a moment. It didn’t have the tone of a threat- it sounded like she was begging. Your throat feels dry, your hands are sweaty. You don’t know what it is, but something is telling you that the answers are this way. Agatha rests a hand on your shoulder from behind you.

“Please. Let's go back upstairs.”

She whispers, a desperate edge to her voice. Your wife squeezes your shoulder, but you shrug her off, and simply continue walking down the winding, stone hallway. It’s dark and eerie, and when you reach the end of the hallway, you enter a large, stone room. 

You shift nervously on your feet as you sweep your eyes over it, and eventually you see a book. And when your eyes land on it, it strikes something in you. Agatha says your name from behind you, and as you walk towards the mysterious book, your memories come back. There is no pain, no resistance- they just wash over you and flood your mind. It does take you a bit by surprise, however, so you do stutter on your feet and let out a gasp as they invade your mind.

Then suddenly, you feel the pressure of magic around your wrists and ankles, pulling them together, and you're being hoisted into the air and turned around to face your wife.

Agatha’s hands glow softly as she toys with the magic between her fingers. She looks at you with pain and anger. You’re sure you’re returning that expression.

“I told you to go back upstairs.”

She says firmly, and you start to pull at your restraints, to summon your magic, when you feel nothing. Dead energy around you, nothing but her and her magic. You look up, and immediately notice the runes cast on the ceiling. You curse to yourself.

“Why couldn’t you have just gone back upstairs?”

[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Part 21)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 3841 Warnings: fluff, angst

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: Here we are... the aftermath.. Feedback is always appreciated!

HEY NEIGHBOR PART 20 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

Sunlight streams down, shining in between gaps of the branches of the large tree you’ve nestled under, keeping cool under the shade as you turn the page of your book. The crisp spine cracks as you adjust your grip, taking a break to sip an iced coffee. You rest it carefully beside you, in the groove of the large root breaking up from the surface.

Central Park is active for a late morning, the chatter of people passing by, the carefree laughter of children playing in the distance. You wish you were as carefree as them. The book you’re attempting to distract yourself with is not working but still you force it, needing anything to take your mind off the events of the past weekend.

Normally you would be at work but an early email from Tony Stark alerted you to him being called away for the day and generously granting you a paid day off to “enjoy the weather.” You wish you could have appreciated it, having the chance to sleep in but doing so would mean you might run into Bucky and you couldn’t have that happen.

Instead you left for work as you normally would, stuffing a tote bag with a large book and a blanket. You treated yourself to breakfast, stretching the time out as much as you could before grabbing an iced coffee and finding a large tree to plant yourself under. You check your phone for the time, making sure you wouldn’t be late for your internship but no, you weren’t; in fact time was moving so slow you thought you gained an extra hour.

It isn’t fair that Tony Stark was so generous. You’d rather be working and had you known in advance you could have possibly rearranged your schedule with Elena but you weren’t the only intern so you had to wait.

And wait...

and…

wait.

A text from Wanda distracted you for a moment, though it really didn’t. Asking how you are only reminds you that you aren’t okay. You spent Sunday night crying your eyes out in her arms, wondering why you were so stupid to think Bucky could actually like you. You weren’t special, you were just a stupid girl who thought she could actually change someone; that somehow Bucky would veer from the path he’s always been on just for you!

What a joke. You cringe when you think about how pathetic you are. It was just sex, nothing more. Wanda was right, he’s probably wanted to fuck you from the start. The Music Man was an apt nickname for the man that played you like an instrument, knowing the perfect keys to hit, the chords you thought were opening your heart but really opened your legs.

Friendship never mattered to Bucky, no– James, the man who hid himself from the start, a dollar store recorder masking himself as a flute, whose only goal was to get laid.  

Coming home that night your eyes were so swollen you could barely see. You huffed up the stairs not wanting Bucky to hear the ding of the elevator as it opened on your floor. You even separated the key to your apartment so the jingling didn’t alert him of your arrival home. The last thing you wanted to do was see him.

You turned your phone off long ago, not wanting to even see Bucky’s name flash on the screen let alone hear any of his excuses. He probably wanted to smooth things over just enough to keep things peaceful between you, hoping that if you were dumb enough you would forgive him and fall in line with the rotation of other women he fucks.

Well you weren’t going to be like any of them. Desperate women, running over the moment Bucky texts before they lose their chance. Throwing themselves at him, hoping he’ll change their mind and love them just like you thought he could love you. But there is no room for love in Bucky’s cruel black heart.  

The following day at work you tried to hide your emotions. With makeup you camouflaged the swelling and painted on a smile but you couldn’t hide the truth from Steve. He sat with you over a tear filled lunch as you told him everything, making him swear to you that he would not talk to Bucky.

There may have been some guilt tripping involved reminding him how you wanted to confront Lillian after she cheated on him but you didn’t because Steve asked and trusted you not to. He suggested speaking to Bucky. “It doesn’t mean you have to forgive him.” Steve’s voice echoes in your head. “He’s your neighbor, you’re going to see him eventually. Wouldn’t it be better to work this out?” Steve might have a point but you’re not interested in hearing it right now.

He invited you to stay for dinner, and that night he and Peggy helped keep you distracted for a few hours. Only they and Wanda knew what happened and you wanted to keep it that way, not wanting to cause friction within the group. Thankfully Sam was working an overnight shift on Sunday because had he been there things would have escalated.

Sam is persistent and though he always means well you knew he would have tried to patch things up between you and Bucky on the spot. Knowing how you are you would probably have lost two friends that day, lashing out at their “help” so thankfully it hadn’t come to that.

You’re not even sure why you’re keeping this a secret. For all you know Bucky may have blabbed to everyone about what happened, and if he didn’t yet he probably would soon enough. For now, you decide not to share it with anyone else, burying what happened into the back of your mind, sealed by the iron door that should have been there to protect your heart.

The book holds your attention by gossamer strings as you reread the same lines over and over, lifting your gaze up to stare comfortably at the brightness of the world around you; bright green grass with pops of yellow and white dandelions sticking up, a cloudless sky that in no way reminds you of someone’s eyes. Looks like it’s time to go back to reading.

You ignore the sound of a guy yelling– nothing unusual especially for New York, but as the sound of his voice grew closer you decided to look up. Your eyes widened with shock as it was just in time to see what he was yelling about. It was too late to move so you braced yourself, the book dropping as a giant brown pitbull jumped into your lap, its bright pink tongue wildly licking your cheek.

“Get back here!” the owner huffed, finally catching up to the dog, grabbing the leash he had accidentally dropped. “Groot! I said get back here.”

He pulled the playful dog off you, sternly telling him to sit. “Groot, sit down, I mean it.” The dog stared back at his owner, tilting his head with innocence. The man rolled his eyes quickly before kneeling in front of you. “Are you alright? I’m so sorry about that.”

His eyes were as green as a picture perfect meadow as he stared back at you, with soft pink lips that turned down into a worrisome frown. He was handsome, sun kissed skin and golden brown hair, with the hint of dark stubble peppering his sharp jaw.

“I’m okay.” You choked on your words, finding it hard to stop the smile that was pulling at your cheeks.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I know he looks intimidating but he’s a sweetheart, I promise.” The man smiled, looking back at his dog, panting with its mouth open. “I’m Peter, by the way.”

Your name floated from your lips to his ears and Peter smiled, a boyish grin that flashed pearly white teeth. “And you’ve already met, but this is Groot.”

The sound of his name made the dog perk up and rush forward towards you. Peter caught him in time before he could assault your face with his tongue again but he couldn’t stop Groot from spilling your coffee.

“Aww Groot! Come on buddy!” Peter whined.

“It’s okay,” you laughed, picking up the overturned container. “He wanted to say hello again.”

You stuck your palm out low so Groot could easily sniff it and quickly his jaw fell open with a grin, his wide tongue soaking your hand as he lapped at it. He nudged your hand with his large nose asking to be pet and you happily complied, scratching under his chin as his tail wagged back and forth.

Groot nuzzled into your lap, his heavy body rolling onto you in a plea to be pet more. Peter huffed in frustration, looking to pull his dog off you but the smile you gave him said you didn’t mind. Both hands worked on making Groot happy, scratching his ears and rubbing his chest. Peter joined in too, rubbing Groot’s belly and softly slapping his side. Your fingertips touched briefly, electric tingles racing up your arm.

Peter cleared his throat of the nervous lump that settled there, tugging gently on Groot’s leash to get off you. When he saw you began to get up Peter offered his hand. There was little hesitation when you took it, feeling his slightly calloused palms against yours. You looked away from him when you were standing, brushing off some dirt from your thighs.

“I’m sorry, again,” Peter grimaced, your clothes were dirty thanks to Groot’s dirty paws. “I feel terrible, can I buy you a cup of coffee… to make up for what Groot spilled?”

Maybe it was Peter’s big doe eyes anxiously awaiting your answer or Groot’s beaming smile but you said yes, picking up your things and walking with them a few blocks to an outdoor cafe. On the way you learned that Peter was a firefighter and looking at him you didn’t doubt it. He was tall (taller than Bucky), with a broad frame (bigger than Bucky) and large bulging biceps (also bigger than Bucky’s, though his came close).

You shake away thoughts of Bucky because you do not want to think about him. And why should you have to? Not when a very cute firefighter with an even cuter dog was pulling out the chair for you to sit down as you got to know each other.

He grew up in Missouri, raised by his mom up until she died from cancer. He was eight at the time but the slight crack in his voice he tried to clear away as he talked about her let you know how much she still meant to him.

“She called me her little star lord ‘cause all I talked about was that one day I was gonna be a space pilot.”

“So how’d you go from space to fighting fires?” you asked, smiling at him as you leaned in closer on the table.

The wait for an answer was interrupted by the server bringing your orders, another iced coffee for you, coffee with a shot of espresso for Peter and a big cup of whipped cream for Groot. Peter held the cup in his hand as Groot swiftly lapped away at his sweet treat.

“There was a fire at my grandparent’s house. I was about fifteen, sixteen at the time. I helped them get out and ran back to grab my mom’s old walkman. It’s all I had left of her.”

Peter paused, almost anticipating a comment about how stupid it was to do that but you were quiet, listening without judgment and understanding. He lifted his lips with relief and explained that after that happened he knew what he wanted to do, hoping he could save people and the homes that hold things dear to them.

“Plus my grades could probably never get me through the door at NASA,” he joked.

You and Peter spoke for the next hour, telling him about your jobs and interests. He was really easy to talk to, with no lulls or awkward silence in your conversation, and he made you laugh a lot which is something you sorely missed these past few days.

When it was nearing time to leave for work you exchanged numbers, giving Groot an enthusiastic petting and letting yourself be enveloped by the warmth of Peter’s arms for a big hug goodbye.

You were surprised to find yourself thoroughly distracted the rest of the day, with Peter in the forefront of your mind, your heart swelling with joy as you read a message he had sent while you were working.

Peter: Hey Y/N it was really great to meet you. I have another day off before my shift and was hoping we could talk again… maybe even see each other. It’s for Groot’s sake really.. I think he likes you.. 😉

A smile reached your ears and you were quick to respond. Yes, you think you liked Groot as well…

Messages exchanged back and forth on your way home and throughout the dinner you were preparing yourself. Your phone buzzed with Peter calling, preferring to talk as Groot decided to lie on top of him like a log, and it was hard to reach around him and type. You spoke until well past midnight and for the first night that week you fell asleep with ease.

Peter stayed in touch throughout the next day and asked you out to dinner. It was last minute but you didn’t mind, the less time you spent at home the better. You decided to meet at a casual spot for burgers. The place was small with limited seating but you managed to grab a table on the end of a long row so you didn’t feel completely claustrophobic.

You didn’t mind sitting close to Peter, apologizing when your knee kept banging into his under the table, getting to see his big smile up close as he told you not to worry about it. He looked great, removing a sanguine red leather jacket for a form fitting dark t-shirt, smelled even better, like almond blossoms in the rain.

Peter was scheduled to work tomorrow, a typical 24 hour shift so he ordered his burger without fries not wanting to feel weighed down by the extra calories. The golden steaming potatoes tempted him from your plate and even though you offered him to have some he declined.

“I feel bad since you’re sticking with water,” you remarked, as your drinks arrived, his water with lemon looking a little boring compared to the iced cold beer that was brought for you.

“Don’t, it’s fine,” he said. Leaning closer the words fell from his lips in a low purr, “Besides I can always taste it from your lips.”

Fire erupted on your cheeks and luckily you were with the perfect person to extinguish the flame. You saved making out with Peter until after you left the restaurant; standing outside of your building with your hands scratching through his hair as his tongue caressed yours.

His lips pulled away with your soft moan still lingering on them, and as much as he wanted to continue this Peter knew he had to get some sleep as did you. Without any haste your hands let go of each other’s, fingertips still gently grazing as you pointed your hips towards the front door. Before you lost contact Peter grabbed your waist to pull you in for another kiss, because a few more wouldn’t hurt.

The elevator carried you upstairs even though it felt like you were floating and as you reached your door the bubble you were in burst immediately as Bucky’s door creaked open. You couldn’t open your door fast enough so you were stuck having to hear him call your name, a desperate sounding cry that reeked of insincerity.

“Can we talk?” he begged.

Through a narrow eyed glance you turned to face him, lips pursed tightly as you looked him up and down. Bare feet stuck out from the bottom of dirty sweatpants, his t-shirt was worn and wrinkled, and if you were being honest he didn’t smell great. Bucky’s hair was an unkempt mess with strands sticking up wildly in all directions and a thick shadow of stubble on his face.

For a moment your heart broke for Bucky until you remembered it already broke because of him. Ice set into your veins again as you stiffly replied, “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”

The vibration of your phone in hand rescued you from a conversation you didn’t want to have in the first place. Seeing it was Peter your face softened with a smile that was once reserved for Bucky.

“I gotta take this,” you said, opening your door without giving Bucky the chance to say anything else.

His shoulders slumped, sighing defeatedly as Bucky trudged back into his apartment. It didn’t help that he could hear you through the wall, your voice light and bubbly. He crawled back into bed, past the instruments left untouched for days because the thought of creating something was hopeless; a daunting task that required Bucky to give part of himself but there was nothing to give.

Part of his soul died the day you walked away from him, not letting Bucky explain the horrible coincidence of running into a person he never intended going on a date with in the first place. You ignored his calls, didn’t answer his texts and probably rappelled up the side of the building into your apartment to avoid running into him.

If you did answer, Bucky would have told you the truth, that he did make that date long ago, that he made a lot of dates he cancelled because no one was you. He would have told you how he stopped setting up dates, that he cancelled all the ones he remembered before deleting his dating app, how it had been almost two months since he had sex and how none of that mattered because all he wanted was to give you his heart.

Everything he said over the weekend was true and he hates the fact that you won’t give him a goddamn second to prove how much he means it. Bucky rolls over, pulling the blankets above his head. He clutches a pillow close to him, a poor comparison to the way your body fit perfectly against his, shutting his eyes tight as he hopes sleep will come for him.

Friday passes slowly, the hand of every hour moving at a half-dead snail’s pace. Bucky waits to hear you coming home, having missed the opportunity to speak to you in the morning because as the sun was rising in the sky his eyelids were finally shutting. He anxiously waits for the ding of the elevator, rushing to his door to open it ajar.

His heart races as he hears the sound of keys jingling closer, pulling his door open with all his strength he’s surprised he hasn’t ripped the hinges off. But instead of seeing you approach Bucky shrinks, deflated and embarrassed to have Shuri, the teenager that lives at the end of the hall with her family, see him looking disheveled. He smiled, giving a half wave, swearing he could hear her call him a “broken white boy” under her breath. He shut the door only to wait again.

When Bucky did finally hear you come in it was late and he was a second too late, opening his door as you shut yours. He sent a text hoping you would respond to no avail. He heard you through the wall, the sound of your closet opening, the creak of the mattress as you get in bed. Bucky’s palm presses against the cold wall. It hurts knowing how close you are and yet you’ve never been further apart.

It’s a beautiful Saturday but Bucky can’t enjoy it. He paces the hallway in front of the elevator and stairwell; he is not going to miss your arrival. It’s nearing the time you normally get home from Metro-General and he prays to anyone listening that you aren’t making any stops along the way.

He needs this. He’s desperate to tell you what happened, so you could see the truth flow from his lips, the tears fall from his eyes as he begs for forgiveness of the misunderstanding.

The elevator soon grants his wish as the doors open revealing you, like the lustrous pearl of an oyster and Bucky can’t help but smile. You on the other hand were not expecting to see him. Bucky was in the same clothes, his hair a little greasier, with stubble that had grown in more. The brighter lighting of the hallway did him no favors, accentuating the deep purple bags that settled under his eyes.

He starts off right away, begging for a moment to hear him out but you strode past him, ignoring the way Bucky ran up beside you like a lost puppy looking for a home. Realizing you weren’t going to stop Bucky ran ahead, blocking your door with his body as he implored you to listen.

“No!” you barked sternly. “Get out of the way Bucky.”

He didn’t move and both of your frustrations grew. “You need to listen to me Y/N, you’ve got– ”

“Don't tell me what I need to do Bucky. You need to get out of the way.”

Not only did Bucky not move but he tried to grab your hand. You snapped it away, gritting through your teeth about how serious you were. You didn’t want to raise your voice and cause a scene with your neighbors if you didn’t have to.

“I just want to talk.” His voice was tight and Bucky fought hard to stop the tears from burning their way to his eyes.

“Well I don’t want to. Move. I have a date to get ready for.”

You stood firm, wondering if you would have to resort to having Clint come down and make Bucky leave, or worse, Natasha, but Bucky stepped aside, letting you enter your apartment without another word.

The slamming of the door masked the sound of the bubbled cry he let out, tears streaking down his cheeks. Hours later he heard a voice at your door, devastated to know you were telling the truth about your date, and dying inside at the sound of lips smacking together. He gave it a moment and opened his door quietly to see you walk hand in hand with some guy down the hall.

Bucky goes back inside, back to the safety of his bed, where he swallows Benadryl and soaks his pillow with tears as he falls asleep.

He dreams of better times, of your smile, of your touch, of all the days you spent together because in his dreams is the only place he’ll have those again.

He’s lost you.

PART 22