#after I removed it I played for an hour and a half before I chose to shut down the game

[actual-corpse]

Mad that the only way you can appreciate Fallout 4 is when you have the option to Fast Travel removed.

And I mean like, physically disabled. The game will not allow you to fast travel (except for using the Vertibird grenades).

I was so sad by the distress call from Fallon's (even though I allowed it to loop for 30 minutes as I tried to get a Perfectly Preserved Pie). Listening to the crying of the woman trapped in the Jewelry Department safe.

Her final words were about how thirsty she was.

I left her skeleton a can of purified water and closed the door.

[endereies]

NAIL POLISH - MS

No Nut November - Day 13

NNN Masterlist...

-➤ You come home to see your daughter painting Matt's nails

After returning from running errands all morning, what you came back too wasn’t what you had pictured. There Matt sat with his hands splayed across a white desk that was far to small for his knees to be under while a blue brush dabs across his fingers, missing his nail most the time. Your daughter sat opposite him, her frame fitting perfectly as she leant on her elbow to paint Matt’s fingers hands. Several bottles of nail Polish were left slightly open as she kept flicking through each bottle over and over. Thankfully, due to their cute conversations, they hadn’t heard you walk in. Therefore you took this opportunity to admire the pair while you leant on the doorframe.

“Daddyyyy we got pink now.” Mila’s cute little sentences came out almost as a demand and you knew Matt had no say from the get go.

“Hmm... which one, we have the baby pink or the hot pink?” You could see Matt’s fingers twitch as he wanted to pick the colours up and surveillance them himself. He always wanted to be interactive with you and your daughter but this time he had to force himself to remain still.

She wiggled her fingers as her brain switched between them a few times before handling the baby pink as best she could. “This one!” The whole of her hand wrapped around the Polish, gripping it hard between her fingers to release the brush. After a few attempts and a giggle from Matt, it came undone and was placed back on the desk.

“Go on then sweetheart” Matt coaxed Mila gently as she thought about where the design was going to hold pink. Before the colour dripped off the brush, she hit it over his ring finger and then some.

“These look stunning Mila...” He stared at them with some admiration, even for a six year old kid, she did a decent job at colouring within the lines although she flooded his cuticle on almost every finger.

You just kept admiring the pair as they collectively bonded. You had to hold back a giggle when you kept seeing Matt’s gaze fall to the desk. It was covered in drops of nail polish. Both of you knew that it could be cleaned with the remover that wasn’t far from his hands and that he wanted to just embrace in the moment. He just couldn’t hold back his gritted teeth each time it happened.

“All done!” Mila sat there ever so proud by her hard work and beautiful creation that was now presented on Matt’s hands.

“Yeah? You did amazing as always kiddo, how about while you play I’ll give it a strong protector and let it dry. We don’t want this hard work to go to waste now do we?” Mila shook her head and got up to give her dad a hug on his side before running off to her playroom. Once her footsteps disappeared, you made an appearance.

“Having fun there?” He almost jumped out of his skin, thankfully he wasn’t holding the top coat just yet.

“Jeez baby. You scared me...” A moment of silence passed as he looked down to his hands. “How was I going to say no to that adorable face, besides she chose better colours this time.”

You giggled as you watched Matt stretch his legs after what must have been half an hour. “Just doing a top coat and then rubbing the excess off”

“You know you’re going to be having those for a while if you do that. And I’m videos too?” He scoffed and looked at you through his lashes.

“Yeah? I want that. Why go out and pay a hefty buck when I have my personal artist here at home.” You couldn’t hold back the pure smile at his behaviour.

“She’ll love you forever if you do that.”

“I hope she will...”

@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerrss @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris @colorthecosmos444 @anabethinking @zay-sturns @anyaa2s @emilyfaith2003 @jassturn @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @sturniolosiphone @ribread03 @slutf4rmatt @spaghetti835928383

© ENDEREIES 2024

[xoxochb]

Hey Prue!

I would like to request a Connor Stoll fic where he is super flirty with reader (maybe Hecate!reader if you have any ideas) but she acts uninterested and grumpy towards him even though she does like him in secret

Take your time and have an amazing day!! 🫶

⋆·˚ ༘ * nothing’s new

warnings: I swear but what’s new, rabid behavior pairing: connor stoll x daughter of hecate

i. cabin twenty + the dining pavilion

you almost started crying at the realization that connor stoll would not leave you alone until you had gotten up from your bed. ten minutes ago he took it upon himself to walk into cabin twenty without permission and rudely wake you from your peaceful slumber. he first knelt beside you and mumbled a ‘good morning, pretty’ to which you threw your blanket over your head to assure he wouldn’t see the pink hue adorning your face

when you didn’t respond to his good morning he sat beside you, sliding down the blanket and taking your head into his lap. after a while he got bored of that position and moved face-to-face with you. don’t be fooled because you still did not acknowledge his presence. although the close proximity made your body temperature increase millions of degrees. which is the time point at this current moment. you so badly wanted to remove the blanket and get ready for the day (even if the day was half over by now) but doing this would result in endless teasing from connor saying that he was the one who made you get up

but you were no hephaestus kid, really. the heat wasn’t something you could handle for so long. with a sigh, you opened your eyes, faced with connor creepily staring at you.

“hey, stoll” you whisper “do you have a staring problem or something?”

connor laughs. “only with pretty girls”

“what other pretty girl’s beds do you lay in?” you roll onto your back. connor settles for your side profile

“you’re the only pretty girl at camp”

you roll your eyes. “so are the aphrodite kids”

“they’re nothing compared to you”

you scoff and stand up at last. “I need to start my day, please leave”

he frowns. “I can’t watch?”

your brows furrow. “watch my morning routine? don’t you have something better to do than watch my morning routine?”

he ponders for a moment before shaking his head. you sigh and drag him off your bed by his wrists- which you were surprised to find he let you do. when you reach the cabin twenty door you open it and push him out. connor laughs. you chose to ignore his antics and begin your morning routine alone

ੈ✩‧₊˚

when you arrive at the dining pavilion a half an hour later (which was technically too early for lunch since it wouldn’t start for another half an hour but you wanted breakfast instead) you see connor stoll sitting lonely at the hecate cabin table. you settle on sitting across the table from him

“what’re you doing here, stoll? this is my cabins table and last time I checked it’s too early for lunch”

the son of hermes breaks into a large grin and slides a mug over to you. “I got you coffee since you missed breakfast”

you squint your eyes at him, suspicious that he might’ve tampered with your beverage but nonetheless you take a sip, surprised to taste a perfect cup of coffee. if connor wasn’t so infuriating you might’ve kissed him for this

“holy shit, that’s really good. how’d you remember how I take my coffee?”

connor shrugs. “I remember more about you than you think”

“like what?”

“like…” he looks around as if there would be answers hanging on a sign before returning his gaze to you “your favorite holiday is halloween! and you hate cherries with a passion. your favorite author is stephen king, scary movies don’t scare you, when you were five you thought the world was going to end during a minor heat wave, you have a rock collection- I’ve even added a few myself I think you’d like, you play piano in your free time, you hate mornings and anything christmas related, your biggest fear is spiders, and-”

“I think your point has been proven”

“okay…” connor slowly nods his head “do you remember anything about me?”

“you threw a tarantula at me once”

connor laughs when he recalls the memory. “that was pretty awesome. except for when you bit me”

“you threw a fucking spider at me what the hell else was I supposed to do?”

“scream like a normal person?”

“I was angry with you”

“doesn’t change the fact that you’re rabid”

“I am not rabid”

“you’re still pretty if that’s what you’re worried about”

you roll your eyes and take a last sip of your coffee before standing up to walk away, connor follows close behind

“where are you going?”

without stopping you say, “away from you”

“I love you too”

“go away!”

ii. the campfire + the infirmary

the second time today you almost cried was at the campfire when connor stoll wanted to make you a s’more. as abnormal as it sounds it was truly necessary. what angered you about this was how he wouldn’t burn the marshmallow- like you requested many times, the treat had to be black for you to eat it

“give me the damn stick, stoll!” you use your best attempt to grab the stick from connor’s grasp. which was unsuccessful

“I’m burning it, princess y/l/n. give me a minute”

“don’t call me that, weirdo”

“your wish is my command, queen y/n”

“I’m going to fucking hurt you”

as much as you hate when connor is right, in this moment you couldn’t care less. you took his arm holding the stick and dug your teeth into his skin, he yelps and drops the stick in the fire, disintegrating your marshmallow and the stick

“ow! what was that for?”

“you lost my marshmallow, you idiot. get me another!”

“you bit me! I’m wounded!”

“you’re barely bleeding

“but I am! I need a bandaid, princess” connor inspects the new bite mark on his skin, blood trickling down it.

you sigh and stand up, holding a hand out for the boy to take, which he does dramatically. “c’mon you baby, let’s get you a bandaid”

“aww, you care about me. I care about you too, even if you’re rabid”

“don’t make me regret this”

you pull him along to the infirmary, at the moment closed because most campers were in bed or at the campfire. to your luck connor knew how to pick a lock so you got in easily. you closed the door behind you and searched through the drawers until you found the collection of bandaids. you pick up the marvel pack and pull out a spider-man

“give me your arm”

connor allows you to take his arm in your hands and you place the spider-man bandaid over the bite mark (which by now had stopped bleeding)

“spider-man?! you remembered that he was my favorite superhero, I knew you liked me!”

“I just happen to have a good memory. your stupid superhero obsession unfortunately stuck with me”

“what else?” he asks eagerly

you roll your eyes and drop his arm. “we’re not doing this”

“you don’t want to admit that you like me”

“you’re an idiot”

“if you could put up with me for all these years I must not be that idiotic?”

no he is not. but you wouldn’t grant him the pleasure of knowing that

“it doesn’t matter”

you (attempt to) cross your arms but connor takes both your hands in his, holding them over his heart which you take notice beats rapidly

“It matters to me”

your thankful for the dark of the infirmary or connor would’ve teased you relentlessly for the pink hue once again adorning your cheeks

“why?” you whisper

“because I like you. and I don’t know if I could live knowing that you hate me”

you frown. almost hesitantly you place connor’s hands over your heart this time, beating equally as rapid. he smiles

“I don’t hate you”

“really?”

you nod. “I just like biting you”

“that’s kinky”

although he ruined the moment, this time you don’t feel like crying

[hockybish]

Birthday Moments: Mason

l hughes!sister au l lola hughes l mason x lola l

January 30, 2024

"Happy Birthday Mase!" Lola smiled brightly. She held out a little cupcake with a single candle in it. "Make a wish and blow out the candle!"

Mason took the little cake and made his wish. He broke the cupcake in half and shared part of the delicacy with the pretty girl he had a crush on.

"Did your wish come true?" Lola asked at the end of the night. Mason shook his head no. There was no way his wish was coming true this year. Maybe next year. "What was it?"

"Can't it's a secret. It might now come true if I spill" Mason smiled to himself. There was always next year.

one year later

Mason looked around the airport, trying to see if Lola was there. They were meeting up during the all star break and going on a little vacay together, just the two of them.

Lola spotted her boyfriend standing by himself and took off running towards him. She launched herself into his arms when she got close enough and gave him a birthday kiss.

"Mmm thank you" he hummed happily

"For what?" Lola cocked her head to the side.

"My wish from last year was a kiss for my birthday .... from you" Mason smirked going in for another kiss, this was going to be a good year.

January 30, 2027

Once again it was his birthday and Mason was out at some bar. He and Lola weren't going to be together this year, but the boys were more than willing to help make up for that by taking him out.

hey you alone?

Mason didn't have a chance to say anything back as he received a video from her. Not really he opened it and started watching. It started off by Lola dancing.

"Oh shit" Mason got a little flustered and dropped his phone on the table when Lola started to take off her clothes and her movements began getting a bit more risqué.

"What are you watching?" Trevor reached for the device. Mason attempted to snag it at the same time, but Trevor got it first. There wasn't anything new he hadn't seen already, aside from a new tattoo she had in her ribs.

"Oh my god, my eyes" he threw the phone as well. This garnered the attention of the others in their party, who were now interested to know what was up.

Mason quickly pocketed his phone. He used the bathroom quickly and headed home where he could fully appreciate the video. The next day Lola gave him a call in-between interviews and events.

"Like your present?"

"Yes, but not before half the guys saw it and I had to take of my hard on in the bathroom"

January 30, 2032

"She's kicking again. Feel feel feel" Lola took Mason's hand. She placed it where she could feel babygirl moving around. Only as soon as he touched her belly babygirl stopped. This happened a lot.

"She stopped again." Mason sighed removing his hand from her belly. "Let's just face it, she hates me already"

"No she doesn't! She just doesn't know you. You've been gone a lot and she- wait a minute" Lola turned around, she felt a couple of jabs against her kidney.

"Young lady, you gotta be nice to your daddy. Especially today. It's his birthday, how nice would that be? Agree?" Lola rubbed her stomach.

They tried again, this time Mason felt the little wave underneath his palm. A smile spread on his face. He crouched down to kiss her stomach.

"Hi Sweetie. It's daddy. I love you so much" He talked to her.

January 30, 2038

"Shh Zu, be quiet, we gotta surpise Daddy" Lacey held her baby sister and snuck into their parents bedroom with Lola trailing them with a little full of breakfast things.

Mason heard them, he had already been awake for a couple of hours now, but chose to pretend to be asleep to play into their "surprise."

Lacey placed Zuzu on the bed and climbed up after her. Zuzu went straight for Mason's face, smacking him with her little hands, biting his nose and cooing at him. Lacey just jumped on him eliciting an oof from him.

"Wake up Daddy, it's your birfday!" Lacey jumped on Mason, eliciting an oof from him, and effectively getting him up.

"It's my birthday? No way. I thought my birthday was last year." he took the baby off his face.

"Daddy!" Lacey rolled her eyes. She handed him a picture she drew of him with her and Zuzu and they ate donuts.

[variousqueerthings]

i watched edward II live this year and my goodness was it an Experience to witness a bunch of men groping and rolling around and making out for approx an hour and ten minutes (the last thirty minutes were dedicated purely to the horrors, but stabbing and hot pokers are not not homoerotic and this play knew that)

anyway, for @gjdraws and anyone who has yet to consider the glory of the ever-so-bisexual christopher marlowe, who died tragically young (but ngl, if anyone was gonna, he does seem like someone who'd be tickled by bar fight/possible assassination death keeping people on their toes 400+ years later)

he wrote six banger plays, of which two are routinely put on (ed II and dr faustus) and the other four tragically overlooked to one extent or another

edward ii was written a lil bit before richard ii, shakespeare's Very Gay King Play, and they do have similarities. people think the king is bad at being a king on account of being gay on account of a number of bad decisions, they're deposed, they have a neat monologue about the horrible nature of being a king, they're sympathetic despite some choices (and their not being great kings), they get murdered

lot of the time people will make a decision on whether to be more femme or butch in their portrayals of them, and this one was a wonderfully macho edward. i say "macho" in the sense that i do believe he could do some real damage if he so chose, but he does also giggle and throw himself into his boyfriend's arms, so macho as a gay man. i do believe all the gay characters were played by gay actors too, which truly did add to the (overused word) Authenticity! this play. was very queer. it opened on a funeral and then cut to a steamy bathhouse kinda queer

the play was significantly shortened, cutting out especially a lot of the second half and instead letting the escalation happen with alarmingly quick inevitability that edward has no agency to halt or challenge at any time. the reason for this was definitely to zero in on the theme of homophobia that does exist in the original 100% but also had a lot of other nuances in its relationships (spencer in this version is also caught in the trap of homophobia in a way that is purely tragic, whereas there are vibes of domestic abuse and/or manipulation in his relationship with edward in the original text)

the cutting worked well, because it's deliberate to the ideas it's conveying, feeling like a modern exploration of queerphobic demands -- if you "just" cut off pieces and ever more pieces of yourself we'll accept you, except the inevitable conclusion is that the only acceptable course of action is to be killed

i do think queen isabella gets shafted a bit in this one, although it does make her initial sorrow at being thrown over in favour of edward's boyfriend quite clear. i think the actress may also have been losing her voice (very fair), which made it hard for her to have the emotional reach she could have. but there was also a bit of incomprehensibility in the jumps it made within her story in order to service edward's and that was the only thing i thought was a shame, especially as she is the only woman in the play

ending was flipping! so they had a beautiful solid-stone set full of coloured tiles, and then when edward gets forcibly removed from court and locked in his dungeon, the whole floor moved back to reveal a gross-looking cave with a pool in the middle (and i was like. ah yes, that pool is chekov's pool) with water dripping from the ceiling, and edward spends a bunch of time getting steadily dirtier in that cave until the murderer is sent to him

description of death by hot poker beneath the cut:

and then he's tricked into mostly undressing (cruel facsimile of queer male affection from the murderer) after which he and two other men jump him and tear off the rest of his clothes while he's screaming and clawing to get away, ending in the pool, where they submerged him several times (risk assessments my goodness) and the murderer thrust the hot poker just beneath the surface of the pool in a way that. yeah looked very realistic

theatre honestly wild

great play. most everyone is dead or dying by the end. very gay. very sad. my heart was in my throat

[yaoibrainworms]

Winterkov Anon back in the building. I lied when I said 24 hours. Here you go, with a hades and persephone reference towards the end.

——-

The week’s almost up. He’s pulled every trick in the book to try and entice his other half to stay but it hasn’t worked. 

Not one bit. 

He’s shown off all the marvel’s his winter wonderworld has to offer. Brought them to every shop to show off what his citizens can create. Wined and dined them, and offered up fine tailoring. 

He should be happy to stay. 

He should want to stay, but his gaze keeps turning back to fiona and cake. To other responsibilities. 

It aches because while he understands, he doesn’t want to lose this familiar warmth. He’s lost it once, he can’t lose it again. Simon’s practically the same person, albeit younger. Less experienced. Shouldn’t he understand? 

So, it’s understandable that he happens to decline from being as excellent of a host as he usually is. To leave them to their own devices as the crown nears completion. 

(He has to understand. They’re the same person, after all.)

From rags, to that dratted old muumuu. He keeps them affectionately stored and displayed, as he prepares a room. 

He can always delay it. 

He just needs more time to convince Simon to stay. 

(Maybe Fiona and cake too. No skin off his back if they choose to stay or leave.)

Maybe, just maybe. They need that same old threat to remind them it’s safer with him? While he prefers to keep to his own devices, it’s been long overdue for the candy queen to make a visit. 

(The visitor he keeps down in the dungeons would work too, wouldn’t they?) 

Day Six. The duplicate crown’s being cooked. Close to being finished. They’re only here for that.

He could tamper with that, couldn’t he? Dangerous, but when has anything been dangerous for him lately? 

It’s a tricky dilemma. Tricky, tricky. 

He’ll have to do it later. It wouldn’t be that hard to maneuver a rampaging overgrown beetle into attacking him in his lab. While he doesn’t like playing knight, it’ll be all worth it. 

Breakfast, first. He still has to be a good host, if he can’t be excellent or diligent as he would like. He claps his hands, and ice servants go blitzing across the castle. 

(The benefits of magic. Even if it makes him feel lonelier, as these were all servants designed to bend knee to him. To lavish praise, and go yes, yes, yes!)

Then, he turns heel and goes to get his guests. First stopping at a door a few rooms down from his. Simon’s room, of course. Fiona & Cake chose to sleep in the other wing. 

“Good morning, Simon!” It’s a rushed cheer, with closed eyes as he opens the room. A groan is heard, and who is he to leave his half like this? It wouldn’t make him a good host to let him sleep in, no, no, no!

He waltzes in. Comes closer to the bed, and smiles upon seeing the familiar head of hair burrowing into the pillows. 

He isn’t awake. The winter king swallows down something desperate in his throat, a wordless need that chokes him. He wants this. To be able to check in on his older half and be contented that he chose to stay. 

It’s an insidious want. Even as he reminded himself to not be too attached in the event they left anyway. It’s insidious enough he can’t help but press a kiss to their head, before gently stroking it. 

Then he removes his hand, and turns an eye across the guest room. Not personalized, but that’s okay because he has a room being designed for his half in the makings right now. 

An alarm clock would do him just finely, wouldn’t it? Something to add to his room later, for when he moves Simon out of the guest room and into a room properly befitting his other half. 

He sets his hand on their shoulder and gently shakes. “Didn’t you want to tinker around in the labs today?” 

Simon below him, is a roaring inferno compared to the cold his fingers hold. It’s enough to have him shudder a tad as he gently pulls them away. He’ll get later opportunities to touch him. 

Simon lays in bed, but there’s a noise of affirment as the poor thing rolls around onto his back to grasp at the nightstand. 

(If Simon's fingers brush along his waist, The Winter King will simply deny the way he leaned into it.)

He only smiles, turns away and resolves to try harder. To be as attentive as possible today, as he sets the cards into motion. 

(He can’t be alone again. Even if that means he has to offer up pomegranates to his dear half.)

——-

Enjoy, I got excited to write this.

❄️🩵❄️

[transientwordsmith]

HaKodesh Kadosh (Take me to Shul)

nsfw, religious imagery, ~1500 words

It was his brother’s bar mitzvah. His mother was absolutely livid when we walked in a half hour after shacharit had already started. She couldn’t chew us out since she was sitting at the front of the room, closest to the bimah, so she settled on giving us death stares. We both grabbed siddurs and he grabbed a kippah before we both went our separate ways, on opposite sides of the mechitza.

It didn't really matter to me which side of the mechitza I sat on, but I chose the women’s side that day to try to allay his mother’s fears of us disrupting the service after the transgression of coming in late.

I picked a seat all the way in the back. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to show support for the bar mitzvah boy and his family, it’s just that sometimes the rabbi can go on for a long time, and I want to be able to pull out my book without judgment.

Today, though, I was feeling rather spiritual. I abandoned my book in the siddur holder attached to the back of the seats in front of me and stood with the congregation. I said kaddish with them and sang along as they took the torah out of the aron and paraded it around the sanctuary. They even brought it all the way to where I was sitting so I could plant a little kiss on it.

I kept my eye on the person carrying the torah as they took it up to the bimah. They started to undress it, removing the cloth cover, velcro band, and adornments that kept it safe while it sat in the aron, waiting to be used.

“I wish that could be us,” said a voice from the other side of the mechitza. I didn’t have to pull the curtain aside to know that it was him.

“Are you serious? Right now?” I hissed. If it was any other situation I’d be inclined to humor him. But this felt a little sacrilegious. 

“Oh come on, I know you’re thinking it too. Plus, he’ll become a man whether I’m here or not, we may as well have a little fun while we’re here.”

I said a silent prayer for forgiveness and reminded myself that sex is technically a mitzvah.

I closed my siddur, put it in the holder attached to the seat in front of me, and slipped my hand behind the mechitza. His hand met mine and he interlocked our fingers. He brushed his thumb over the back of my hand for a minute, testing the waters.

I heard the sound of fabric against drywall in addition to the feeling of his weight shifting. I realized he’d moved from his seat to the floor and I followed suit. As soon as I got comfortable he got bolder. He moved our hands from his side to my side, and he rested them on my thigh.

He unclasped our hands and placed his palm on my leg. He didn’t stop the rubbing of his thumb, moving it from the back of my hand to my inner thigh. They had finished undressing the torah by now and had already called up some family member for the first aliyah.

As the bracha was read, his hand climbed higher and higher until it rested just before my most sensitive spot. I let out a shaky breath before placing my hand over his, guiding it onward.

“Amein,” the crowd sang out, and he sang it with them as he expertly slipped his hand under my clothes. I stifled a gasp as he ran his fingers through my pubic hair. I peered behind the mechitza and saw him looking dead ahead. He was playing the part of the perfect older brother, the good Jewish boy. But for a moment, he glanced over at me and flashed a sultry grin. I prayed the sound of crinkling candy wrappers would mask whatever noises I made.

After a few minutes he got bolder, moving his fingers so that they brushed against my sex. He worked them back and forth, with varying pressure, knowing just how to push my buttons and make me groan. He kept going, through the second and third aliyah, at a lazy pace, ignoring my hushed requests for him to speed up.

Then, all of a sudden, he stopped. I looked over and he got up almost mechanically, taking out a travel pack of kleenex and wiping his hands on it. I watched as he walked up to the bimah and put on a tallit. I mentally smacked myself. Of course he was reading from the torah. He’s the bar mitzvah boy’s brother. I saw him adjust his kippah and take the yad in his hand. Some people I didn’t recognize stood beside him and said the bracha, and then he began to read.

I tried to follow along in a chumash, but I couldn’t. I was still so distracted by his touch. I could feel the pulsing arousal in my core and I couldn’t ignore it. Eventually I worked up the courage to bring myself to the front of the sanctuary; to sit next to the bimah. I brought my chumash with me and I sat myself down right near where he was standing. He couldn’t see me yet, he was too focused on reading, but when he was done, he looked around and caught my eye. He came around to the right side of the table where the torah was being held, holding my gaze the entire time. I wondered if he was going to bend down and say something to me, when I noticed his hands were moving. He gestured to me, then to him, and then to the aron. I cocked my head at him. He wasn’t seriously suggesting…?

Before I could clarify his attention was taken by the chazzan, who was asking him to recite a bracha. Only two more aliyot before he would be able to sit down with me again.

Or so I thought. I had forgotten that the rabbi enjoyed speaking at length to the celebrating family. He was stuck up there for what felt like a million years. The rabbi droned on and on about community and adulthood and whatnot before finally giving the family a little baggie full of assorted judaica. I caught his eye one last time before he sat down next to his brother. He mouthed something to me, which looked a lot like “meet me behind the aron” before turning to face the front of the room, acting as if nothing had happened.

I sat on my hands all throughout musaf, trying to keep my mind on the prayers instead of where it wanted to go. I forced myself to say the words of the kaddish in earnest and I tried my best to follow along through the recitation of the amidah. But the end of the service couldn’t come fast enough. When the rabbi finally said the bracha over the wine, it took everything in my power to not race up to the bimah.

As calmly as I could, I ascended the small steps and looked around for him. I didn’t see him at first, but then I heard a hiss from behind me.

“Over here!”

I turned around to see a hand poking out from behind the aron. Inconspicuously, I went around the side to find that there was a small crawl space behind the aron that I had never known about, and that he had discovered. He beckoned me inside and I gladly took his invitation.

Neither of us wasted any time on pleasantries. We were both too worked up. He quickly slipped his fingers under my clothes once more and I took this opportunity to finally kiss him. I kissed him long and hard, moaning into his mouth as he worked his magic, flooding my senses with pure arousal.  I bucked my hips, grinding into his hand, and he laughed softly.

“You’re so worked up,” he whispered. “Maybe we should come here every week.”

I didn’t know if the pun had been intended, but even if it wasn’t he sped up his handiwork. I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer, and I tried to warn him. He simply shushed me and enveloped my mouth in another kiss. I continued to muffle breathy moans into his mouth as he pushed me over the edge and helped me through the aftermath.

Afterward I wanted to fall limp, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. I hadn’t realized how much energy I had devoted to this, but now that I had lost it I just wanted to fall asleep. He beckoned me closer and pulled my head onto his lap.

“Don’t worry about falling asleep,” he reassured me. “Everyone’ll be back for seudat shlishit. They won’t even know we’re gone. His words calmed my nerves, and I was able to fall into an easy doze.

[theangrykimchi]

For the number Thorki prompts. Any of these sound fun: 10, 21, 22, 27, 44.

Hii, thank you for the prompt! I chose 27 - as a suggestion 😍 I had the whim to write Disney World actors in luv so here it is! Hope you will like it ��

Read on AO3

With a tired sigh, Loki removed the horny helmet from his head as soon as he entered the backstage building, the door shutting behind Thor who followed after him.

“Man, I can't wait to take this thing off,” Thor said, taking off his helmet too.

“Yeah, same. It's too hot today,” Loki agreed, tugging at the neckline of his costume. “At least your costume doesn't have sleeves.”

“Yay for small miracles, I guess.” Coming to walk beside him, Thor smiled at him, bumping their shoulders together, making Loki smile, too, despite his discomfort.

They had met when they had both auditioned for the roles of, ironically enough, <i>Thor</i> and <i>Loki</i> from the blockbuster Disney movies. Loki Fergusson, who was still a university student back then, needed an easy part time job and Thor Bjornson, who was backpacking through the USA, needed some easy cash so he could continue with his traveling. Now, five years later, they were both still working at Disney World, taking on longer and longer shifts while looking for better jobs in their field (Loki) or saving up to return home (Thor).

They hadn't clicked right away—Thor was too energetic, too extroverted, while Loki was the exact opposite, preferring the few hours of peace and quiet he got over going out and partying his salary away. But having to play the brothers in the amusement park and, later, moving in together to share the costs—they already spent more than half the day together at that point, why not share an apartment closer to their place of work too?—had led to them becoming very close friends, despite their differences.

Entering their air-conditioned dressing room, finally, Loki sighed in relief for the coolness of the room and placed the helmet on its shelf, clicking his tongue at Thor chucking his carelessly on the sofa.

“Can you get the zipper for me? I need to get this off ASAP or I may perish.”

“Yeah, sure.”

He felt Thor's warmth when he stepped close behind him, goosebumps spreading on his skin as Thor’s fingers brushed his hair away and caressed the back of his neck on their way to the zipper. Surely on accident.

“Re-enacting Titanic today was pretty fun,” Thor said, the zipper making a soft hissing sound as it was pulled down Loki's back.

“I swear to God, these fans will have us kissing before long,” Loki answered with a soft laugh.

Thor hummed, fingers hovering, still holding the zipper.

“Maybe we should,” he said after a moment, finally parting the zipper and pushing the fake leather jacket from Loki's shoulders, his hands almost too warm on Loki's body through the protective t-shirt he was wearing beneath the costume.

When Loki spoke his voice came out breathless. “Do what?”

Thor stepped closer, pushing the jacket down his arms, tucking his face on the side of Loki's head.

“Kiss,” he whispered, lips brushing against the shell of Loki's ear.

Heart beating hard inside his ribcage, Loki felt the jacket falling over his hands, cuffing them in the fabric.

“W-what?”

Thor came around him, standing in front of him now, not meeting his wide, hopeful eyes as he took first one and then his other hand to release them from the sleeves.

“Just sayin’, the fans want it, the creators insinuate it, why shouldn't we give them what they want?” he said, flippantly almost.

“Oh,” Loki said dejectedly, feeling as if the air had left him entirely, his lungs squeezing inside him suffocatingly. “I thought–I–yeah, I don't know–the managers–” Loki stammered.

Loki <i>never</i> stammered. But it was hard not to when there was no breath inside him and his heart was hurting so painfully.

“Fuck the managers. We aren't going to work at this place all our lives, Loki. Let's have some fun before we move on to better things.”

<i>Better things</i>. Loki felt his eyes sting.

Too-warm hands cupped both sides of Loki's neck, making him refocus his zoned out sight to Thor's face as he ducked slightly to stare directly at him.

A small, hopeful, idiotic smile was curling his lips.

“Don't make that face. What I want to say is that I really want to kiss you stupid, idiot.”

Blood shot to Loki's head, making him feel lightheaded suddenly, his cheeks burning. He slapped Thor on his bare bicep, looking at him angrily.

“You <i>asshole</i>! I thought you weren't interested in me!”

Thor laughed, stocking Loki's ire as he left a soft peck on the tip of his straight nose.

“What do you say, should we practice?” He asked, stepping closer, brushing their noses together for a sweet moment before Loki tipped his head and slid their lips together.

“Idiot,” Loki whispered against Thor's soft lips. His arms coming up around broad shoulders as they chased after another kiss, swallowing Thor's insufferable little chuckle with his tongue.

[lennonhead]

Dainohara Forest Park obstacle course adventure

I've been wanting to do an obstacle course from the time I got back to Japan. today I did one

there are 12 stations, but one was removed and one was just "pat yourself on the back for finishing" basically, so there's 10 stations of note

doing this when you are almost 30 is one of the hardest things a person can do, in my opinion. looking at this first structure from the beginning, I felt like I was looking death in the face. but it would be really pathetic if I couldn't do it, so I held onto the ropes like they were my only hope and successfully crossed the two bridges. COMPLETE

this one, you're supposed to climb a rope and ring the bell at the top. there are 3 difficulty levels. I chose the easiest, but despite many attempts, I couldn't even begin climbing the rope because those wood thingies don't stay put so you can't find any footing on them. by the way, we did no rope climbing in gym class at my school. this is why I am such a weak, miserable excuse for a human being. FAILURE

this one, you climb up then cross a bridge with varying levels of height and wiggliness. even just climbing up the structure was hard, but I did complete this one! sorry to the other people walking below me on the trail who had to hear my self-encouragement and shouts of surprise/fear. COMPLETE

in the background is the other obstacle which was just a balance beam. now, come on, I can do that at least. COMPLETE

oh no. oh god

I could climb up the little poles, feeling very much like a cool ninja, but unfortunately I couldn't get onto the slanted log thing. it was hard to fully step onto it. I even took off my backpack but it was just impossible. I think it was partially a mental issue. if I jumped onto it, I would have been able to get on, but I was too unsure of my footing and the "safety net" as you can see is a bunch of jagged rocks. I tried to start from the halfway point, but ultimately everything was just so wiggly. FAILURE

slide!

this looked steep but really unassuming, but you go REALLY fast on it. "wind blowing through your hair" fast. I got surprised, so I grabbed the edges and slowed myself down the first time (I was wearing my day labourer gloves for a better grip). I was then unsatisfied with calling it a completed obstacle, so I tried it again. instinct made me grab the edges before I flew off the end, but I think this counts. it was fun to go down such a good slide after so many years. COMPLETE

3 levels of netting to clamber over. I did make it across, but I'm unsatisfied with my technique. I was carrying all my stuff, so I was afraid of change coming out of my pockets. I'm familiar with this kind of thing from when I was a kid, albeit it was at indoor adventure play places where we had ball pits and foam under it and not just mud. COMPLETE

Tarzan rope. I was confident I could do this. I was wrong. I tried many times to find some footing on the rope, which was a bit too high for me, until I decided to try jumping and straddling it with my legs. I made it about half a second before sliding off. clearly I need to work on my upper body strength. FAILURE

the last obstacle, more of just a victory lap, a roller slide. it stalled a couple times but I was eventually able to get some speed on it, and it was really fun. COMPLETE

so, 6/10 completed. I think not bad for my first obstacle course, but I recognise I need a lot of practice. it was a lot of fun though! it may feel silly, but if you're in Japan, please do an obstacle course. it's a fulfilling experience and now I want to try more!

in the provincial park there's a gruelling one that takes an hour to complete. people from all over the country come to try it. I will consider that a final boss. this summer, let's exercise more!!!

[yung-terps]

A stream of consciousness. Not a new realization but I check in on distanced people more than they check in on me. I think I have come up with some ideas to play around with for a new poem! A little stoked because I haven't written one in awhile. Keep accidentally hanging out with dudes who ultimately just want to have sex. The benefit of the doubt hardly ever benefits me. There was one cool dude this past week, I guess. The thing is, when they skirt around their intentions, I kind of get off on getting them to just like. Voice it aloud. At some point during the night, I learn he is moving across the damn ass country soon and take note, considering I want something long-term. Later we start to makeout and it's fun, it's whatever. I like kissing. We break away after a little bit and I suggest that we walk to the corner store. He agrees, slipping in an "after". After what? Answer the question. And he eventually did. I want to fuck you. Surprise. He didn't even finger me. It was fine. See you never. My roommate is home from a 2-month thing. I cleaned the apartment from top to bottom... all of its nooks and crannies... I hope they feel welcomed! Still some stuff I want to hang and touch-up, all easily overlooked though. They are my secrets. Things just need to look lived in now. It's all too.... untouched... even though in actuality I spent the last few hours putting my hands all over everything. Arguably the most I have in a long time. Dusting and placing and rotating. You get it though... the living room needs to be hung out in.... broken in. I'm sure the suitcases have already made the place feel less... sterilized and proper... no longer like a set. The overhead lighting in the kitchen is harsh, always has been... often takes me out of reality! I have an idea to hang these paper pyramid-like string lights that I have had for years and years. Some are beat-up but I think it would add to the space... give us more options... and it just would be cute. Before my shower I removed the stain glass lightbulb, only leaving in two small red ones. Stood there, the water nice and hot. Sat on the tub floor. Closed my eyes. Leaned forward. Listened to the music I chose. Got out, screwed the loose bulb back in. I have an ongoing joke with myself that I will find my missing hard drive in a stupid silly fucking place, coping about it an entire year later. I noticed that I had some board games that were still taped shut from when I moved. Laughed with myself about the possibilities and opened them up. I am still holding out hope but no luck this time! I may knock on my old front door one day. I kind of resent the new owners for buying my home though. And how quick it all was. Like, get fucked, but also can I please have my hard drive? I mean, if it's in there. What I did find was a pile of half-used notepad sheets for a game that hasn't been played in forever. Some of them were drawn on by people I no longer speak to. One had a doodle done by my ex-boyfriend. It's weird to think about how I have lived, like, thirteen different lives. I think I would forgive a lot of people. Or even apologize to them. I also found two 8-in-1 retractable ballpoint pens. So, like, some treasure and a lot of thoughts. I did a little bit of glueing and taping and messing around in my journal. I feel I am doing okay in a very general sense. Trying my best and keeping up. I could do better. Can't we all though? Is that a cop-out? I don't care about money, I don't know, it's just practically all my parents would argue about in front of us. I don't care as long as my shit gets paid on time. But I think I have to shift gears and thought processes because I would like to live a little more comfortably, ultimately concerning myself with it less. Gonna look over my resume. Keep going, keep busy. Try to slim down my closet. Fix my camera. Maybe it did end up working on my last trip. Do this and that. Keep on playing Tears of the Kingdom and text dudes less. There's more passion involved with the former. Used used used. Wondering. Navigating. October is almost here.

[the-stray-storyteller]

Havenpoint

Warnings : Violence, language

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Taglist : @anonymousfoz@holdmyteaplease (tell me if you want to be added or removed)

Note : this chapter and any chapter after this hasn't been beta read or edited which means it will have shitty grammar, a lot of spelling errors, annoying dialogues and overall just be shitty. Also this chapter does not have much in it. It's pretty boring.

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Chapter 11 : The Game Penelope Knight

My fist connected with Kaleb’s jaw before he could hit Aidene. He stumbled back groaning in pain, still recovering from the kick he had received. He threw me a dirty look while he swayed on his feet, dizzy. Both Aidene’s and Anne’s eyes were wide with surprise. I sent them the most warm smile I could conjure. 

I owed no loyalty to the duo but life was a game and I wanted to be the side that wins. Their side would win this battle. I would make sure that their side wins this battle. 

My father had been obsessed with chess for as long as I can remember. He had a fascination for that little horse-shaped piece on the board. I had thought it had something to do with our last name and I still thought the same. He could have been obsessed with mediaeval knights but he chose chess. 

He taught me that life was a game of chess. Me against everyone else. Every move, word, and emotion was a play, a strategy. 

Aidene and Anne needed to know I was on their side for now. They didn't need to know that I had three reasons to help them. None of the reasons had anything to do with friendship. 

The two minor reasons were that Kaleb had been annoying me for the past half an hour and I didn’t want to break whatever verbal contract I had signed with Aidene.

The major one was that Kaleb knew the purple-haired girl. Moreover, it seemed like he had some dirt on her. I could use that. If I was going to work with her I needed a failsafe for me. If they tried to stab me in the back I would have a gun with me. 

“You fucking bitch!” He yelled and jumped for me. To my surprise Valentina attacked. The word ‘attack’ would be generous. She had thrown herself on Kaleb causing both of them to stumble to the ground. He pushes Valentina off him and leaps towards Aidene who was standing right in front. He grabs a fistful of her hair and pulls it down. His hand keeps her from running away. Aidene doesn’t shout. Instead, she grinds her teeth together, her eyes tearing up.

Kaleb howled in pain. Anne had joined the fight, her fingernails dug into his face. She dragged them across leaving angry red marks in its wake. Kaleb let go of Aidene, bringing his hands up to his marred face.

“Stay the fuck away from her!” Anne growled out. Kaleb ran his fingers over the cuts.

The students around us started chanting. Phones held up to record. Bets were passed around, everybody took a side to cheer on. The adrenaline running through my veins was addictive. I turned around to see Aidene with her teeth bared out, her hands clawed, and a sharp glint in her eyes. She looked feral and I swear that I heard her growl. Anne had a deadly cold look on her face, a sharpness to her calm. Valentina had brought her fists up in a meek offensive pose. 

Penelope was certain Aidene would have attacked if it weren’t for the teacher.

“What is going on here?” The crowd dispersed at the sound of the teacher’s voice. Students scrambled to get out of sight. However, the five of us were stuck under her keen gaze.

“What is going on here?” She repeated, taking in Kaleb’s injured face. 

****

The room was filled with broken furniture. A dumpyard classroom. It was dusty and the lights flickered to stay on. My eyes scanned the other three girls I was thrown in here with. There was a boy with us. Roy, I think his name was. I had no idea where the teacher dragged Kaleb off to after we all blamed the situation on him.

Miss Danvers, the teacher, pressed her lips into a thin line kicking a leg of a broken chair out of her way. I swallowed thickly, this teacher was known to play favourites and I wasn’t on her good list. Her wrinkled features were set in a permanent scowl and her movements were stiff and accurate as she walked towards us.

“This place is to be our new chemistry lab,” the teacher swiped her finger over a dusty table observing the thick layer of dust, “ As detention the five of you will be coming here to clean this place up every day after school. Spend as much time as you want over here to do so.”

“For how long?” Groaned Valentina.

“Till the day when not a speck of dust lies in this room.” I suppressed a scoff at her dramatics. 

“What about Kaleb?” Aidene asked, her tone suspicious.

“He will be mowing the lawns by himself.” With that she walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

“Why are you here? And who are you?” Aidene asked, sending Roy an inquisitive glance.

“Roy Robinson, I forgot to submit my homework for the third time this week. And you?” He said with a smile, he outstretched his hand for Aidene to shake. She ignored it.

“Can’t believe your name’s an alliteration,” she let out a small chuckle, “Aidene Rayners. Kicked somebody in the gut.” Roy gave her a nervous smile, settling himself down on an unstable chair.

“That lanky wonky chair won’t hold Robinson,” Aidene taunted. As if on cue the chair creaked loudly under Roy sending him scurrying and tripping. The purple-haired girl’s body shook with the struggle of holding her laugh in. 

I watched as Aidene struggled to get a hold of her laughter. Her eyes glistened with tears. Her laugh was fire-like. Destroying everything else and leaving only one burning feeling and presence. I couldn’t help but laugh along with her. Valentina joined in too and Roy let out nervous huffs of laughter looking at the chair with disdain. The only one who wasn’t laughing was Anne. Aidene’s eyes darted towards her, the laughter dying out of her awkwardly. Something had happened between them, I saved that information for later. 

“Let’s get started. The faster we get over with this, the better,” Rayners grabbed a broom and handed it over to Brookes, “You can start with that side darling.” She waved towards a particularly dusty patch of the room. Valentina walked over dejectedly and the rest of us started to sort through the furniture. 

I dusted in silence and I swear I could hear the walls of the school whisper to me. The whispers were soft and muttering. Against my better judgment, I listened to them. The world spiralled out of my mind. The screeching of the tables being pushed disappeared. The muttering grew louder drawing me in. I strained my ears to listen, to understand. The muttering seeped through the walls like water trickling through gaps, cold and unstoppable. I tried to make sense of them but they only became louder, demanding. They seemed like senseless words strung together, but they made sense somewhere in the back of my mind.

There was a commotion in the back, but it seemed like it was coming from underwater. It was muffled and distant. I was about to ignore it but Valentina grabbed my attention.

“Penelope!” She yelled into my ear making me flinch. I broke out of my reverie and glared back at her.  

“You okay?” Her dark onyx eyes stared at me with concern.

“Just zoned out.”  

I looked around. Aidene and Anne had retreated to a corner speaking in hushed urgent voices, their heads close together. Anne snapped back at Aidene who looked guilty but overjoyed. Roy was playing around with a broken chair leg. The room looked no different from when we started cleaning it but the sun had gone down and the sky had gone dark. How long was I trying to listen to the whispers?

“Okay, guys!” Aidene clapped her hands together as she walked towards us, “It's almost dinner and I genuinely cannot push any more tables.” I could see a sheen of sweat on her forehead. 

“Valentina, Penelope,” she threw us a glare, “both of you were no help at all.”

“I helped!” Valentina protested. 

“You gave up after carrying one chair,” Roy muttered. Aidene raised her hands, silencing all of us. I narrowed my gaze at her. When did she become the leader? 

“Guys,” Aidene groaned, “Dinner. I am hungry.” Her mouth tilted into a sharp smile, stardust sparkling in her eyes. She was excited about something. Anne was still glaring. I couldn’t help but laugh internally, both of them were good opponents. This would be a fun game. 

[ultimatebottom69]

I do a lot of venting nowadays...

I am tired. Sincerely. I never had any ambitions in life. When as a kid i was asked what i wanted to do...I didn't know at all. I took some shit like vet. The more i grow up the more I realize i truly have no passions. I enjoy playing video games, i woild dream of making one, i want to write and finish all my wips, i want to swim at the beach and geta sunburn....I never wanted to work.

I also knew i was weird when people talked about...Crushes and sex...I just get...Bored. like what's so great about it ? I went to date two guys. One when i was 11 (he asked me out. I said yes. I broke up with him because he would get into fights to defend my honor or whatever. Great gesture just fucking come tell me. Dunno if it was a lie since it was one of his friends who came to say that to me at 1pm during lunch break. I never saw that boy again.) And then at 13 a boy asked me out. I decided to say yes. I kissed him, felt squishy and very wet but overall a ok experince not anything to write books about or do a whole movie, felt boring.

I broke up with him within the hour because a very kind but random chinese gal that was in my tech class talked me out of it and told me I was too pretty to date him...That and he also asked to touch his penis while we were sharing our first official kiss together very tue-l'amour if you ask me.

He proceeded to sexually harass me for the rest of the year after the break up.

I didn't say anything, i was dealing with bullying from former friends, my dad going step mom hunting we were at number 3 and the nightmare half sister. My mkm was abroad studying...Overall my teenager years were not a cool experience and you will never pay me enough to do it again. Just put the razor blade on my tongue and leave at this point...

The reason I am venting right now is simply because my mom told me that me going to shower at 1 am wakes up my step dad (he snores so that's a lie) and during the day she also complained i go take showers specifically when they start to cook (which is the weirdest shit ever sorry you don't cook at fixed hours and I am not allowed to put on the damn AC. I am sweaty and gross from that 6 am shower, i had 7 hours of online classes witha woman who does not understand that no technology is anything but fast doll, oh and she talks and talks and uuurgh. And I am not allowed to take a shower when my class ends it has to be in the night. It's 31°C Cedric not everyone likes to be covered in grime the whole day) and don't get me started how she dares. DARES i say say, him and me are the same...Because of our zodiac sign. I am not kidding. This is her whole reasoning. I have common points with him...Namely I also hate to see his bitch ass in my vicinity. Like i dunno dude go smoke weed or act as if your life is so sad. You chose to be a manchild, you were born in misery this doesn't justify randomly yelling at my mom for no faults of her own you asshole. I would have said go fuck your mom, but you did bury her rascist narcisstic bitch ass just this october. Glad she died by the way, abusive cunt.

And now the ma'am who was doing my class just sent me 30 messages in a row since 11pm and is demanding a paper that I do not have for something that i am not obligated to give and everytime I point out to her how innefective and truly way too tile consuming what she is doing...

She replies "Oh that's how we do in our school". Everytime. It also doesn't help she calls every yoing person lazy, she gives us unrealistic deadlines, too much homework, we have 4 days of classes who all start at 7 am and ends at 2pm or 3pm. Saturday included.

I am excluding how my grandparents are, how my close family is (all of them are a shade of conservative except my fucking grandma somehow)

Before posting the post i quite litterally thought of ending it all right the fuck now, i got razor blades laying around, it was to remove my feet deadskin, that fucker loves barbecues so i have really sharp knives just in the kitchen...

I have to do so many rendez-vous with professionnals. Pole emploi just sent me some fuckery again that I did not open because my exams are in 3 weeks. I barely know the methods. I wanted to do school at my own pace but all my family was like "No you have to find a school or else you would not work-" which is so stupid BECAUSE the dumbasses now do not understand why i am taking weight, why i don't sleep, why i don't have time to go outside or do sports to lose weight (i swesr i have this talk every motherfucking week for the past 5 years) , why do i not ask for help like bitch you did this you are the reason I don't fucking ask for help and now here I am at 1:33 am convincing myself that life is worth living because i wanna write my silly stories, talk to my internet friends, screw around on tumblr, nature is worth living for, i wanna pet more cool animals.

And now at more then 18...I realize sinve I was 12. I was right about one thing :

I don't hate myself, i just hate it here.

now if you'll excuse me I have a degree to work for.

[mihasket]

Over the past three years, I became familiar with the fallout game series starting with the 3rd game.

Although the engine of the game did not cope with shooting, and elements of equipment breakage and weight of things frankly interfered in the first hours of the game, but then (when I randomly stumbled on a quest, the reward of which was unbreakable power armor) it was fun to play it (a separate negative for the fact that sometimes a half a clip of automatic rifle shot into the enemy and respect for vats). The game was quite good quests (specific I will not name, because a lot of time has passed since my passing), with an authentic atmosphere and environment postapokalepsis. The vibe was present. Specifically the main plot I remembered the short (because I tried to pass all the dopki to pump the character), but still not bad, with a touching story of scientists that hoped to help people free clean water. Although towards the end it turned into a fight between an obviously good faction (Brotherhood of Steel), against an evil faction (Enclave). In the game, by the way, sometimes there were quests where it was not clear how to do the right thing, from which such a black and white setting on the main plot surprised me. About the system of partners can not say anything much, because I literally a couple of missions before the end of the main plot acquired the first partner.Impressions about the game remained positive, although not without sin.

Next, I played fallout new vegas. The game was a little better in terms of the engine, it was clear that at least they tried to do something with shooting and better in terms of armor damage elements (it was possible to completely repair it from the very beginning, and almost at the beginning there is a mechanic who is able to fully repair it, unlike the third part, where a complete repair was only possible at the end). After going through hard mode (or whatever it's called, when your bullets weigh and your health doesn't heal instantly from drugs) I was extremely impressed with the setting of the side quest chains, everything was three heads higher than in fallout 3 (even now I remember how I took some additional mission on the main quest along the way, then arriving at the designated point, the scientist I met on the quest confused me with someone and then I had the opportunity to take his quest chain, which led to someone else's quest chain. It was like a matryoshka doll, but at the same time, those quests were conceived along the way, and they could turn out not one by one, but in parallel, but even this did not affect their integrity. The storyline similarly turned out to be short, but there was already an adequate branching. (next, I'll insert a message that I wrote to a friend with whom we discussed fallout) "I chose the path with Yes men. Because objectively, Dr. House is a genius, but his knowledge is worthless, because he's a greedy, glorious, crazed ghoul who is too far removed from the real human understanding of life. The very fact of the game's plot happened due to the fact that the immortal millionaire, blinded by his pride, did not consider the level of safety in transporting the most important element for his own robots. There's no need to talk about Caesar, and the NKR is a stupidly militarized state (bitch in Vegas post-cap hahaha) that can't handle the territories they're appropriating on its own."It's a cool storyline that fits the game perfectly. As for the atmosphere, forget about the post-apocalypticism from fallout 3. This is the purest Western with a dash of Mad Max and probably a touch of Sin City (Las Vegas though). The partner system is well done, some of them hide interesting stories and quests with good rewards.The game itself is shorter than fallout 3, but it is much more concentrated and saturated with events and quests (which, again, does not make the wasteland vibe apocaleptic). Over time, I came to the conclusion that these games are inferior and defeat each other in such different aspects that it is still better not to compare them (here I did it, just so that there was at least some connection between my words from the description of the last game).

I'm currently playing through Fallout4. (I'm at the point where I should build a teleporter, but I already know the endings). The game already has a normally finished version of the engine with good shooting, without the bastard system of breaking things (except for power armor, which was finally implemented normally). There are a lot of innovations, of which I would like to give great respect to the systems for improving weapons, power armor and regular armor, which can now be worn on different parts of the body with certain clothes, they also added a senseless construction system (with a separate addition based on this game mechanics). Side quests are not bad, they have different spectrums, but they are hampered by a cut-down dialogue system, which was even better in Fallout 3 (alas, they added repetitive quests: "bring / bring - get lost". But still, there is an immeasurable amount of additional content in the game compared to the previous parts. The main plot is also very short, but it becomes interesting towards the end. Since I really don’t know whose side I will choose, in my opinion, everyone is either too impudent bastards (Brotherhood of Steel, Institute), or too stupid (Subway, Minutemen). Which is why, unironically, I want to play the "villain" and destroy all the factions (although in my opinion it will be even better). The picture is extremely beautiful and although I don’t really like this retrofuturism, it is still interesting to explore the locations of the game world because of the environment. There are a lot of partners in the game, but closer to the end of the plot I began to pump up relationships with partners (before that I ran with Ada, whom I remade in tank that burned everything in its path with lasers and rockets). Fallout 4 seems to be a game much better than Fallout 3 in many respects, but in my personal opinion it is inferior in the dialogue system in places.

За последние три года я познакомился с игровой серией fallout начиная с 3 игры. Хоть и движок игры не справлялся с стрельбой, да и элементы поломки снаряжения и веса вещей откровенно мешали в первые часы игры, но потом (когда случайным образом наткнулся на квест , наградой которого была неломающаяся силовая броня) стало играть в нее было весело (отдельный негатив за то, что порой полторы обоймы автомата расстреливаешь в противника и респект за vats). В игре было достаточно неплохие квесты(конкретные называть не буду, т.к много времени прошло с моего прохождения), с аутентичной атмосферой и окружением постапокалепсиса. Вайб присутствовал. Конкретно основной сюжет мне запомнился коротким ( т.к я старался проходить все допки, чтоб прокачать персонажа), но все же неплохим, с трогательной историей ученых, что надеялись помочь людям бесплатной чистой водой. Хотя под конец это переросло в драку очевидно доброй фракции (братсва стали), против злой фракции (анклава). В игре кстати порой встречались квесты, где не было ясно, как правильней стоило бы поступать, от чего такая черно белая настройка на основном сюжете меня удивила. Про систему напарников сказать ничего не могу особо, т.к я себе буквально за пару миссий до конца основного сюжета приобрел первого напарника.Впечатления об игре остались положительные, хотя и не без греха.

Далее я сыграл в fallout new vegas. Игра была чуть лучше в плане движка, видно было, что хотя бы постарались что-то сделать со стрельбой и лучше в плане элементов поломки брони( можно было с самого начала ее полностью чинить, и чуть ли не в начале встречается механик, который способен ее на полную починить, в отличии от третей части, где полная починка была возможна только под конец). Пройдя на хард режиме (или как он там называется, когда у тебя патроны весят и здоровье не хилится моментально от препаратов) я был крайне впечатлен постановкой побочных цепочек квестов, все было на три головы выше, чем в fallout 3(даже сейчас помню, как по основному квесту по пути взял какую то доп миссию, далее прийдя в назначенную точку встреченный мною ученый по квесту, спутал меня с кем то и далее у меня появилась возможность взять его цепочку квестов, которая вела уже к чужой цепочке квестов. Это была словно матрешка, но при этом квесты те были зачатсую по пути, да и могли получаться не очередно, а паралельно, но даже это не влияло на их целостность. Сюжетная линия аналогично оказалась короткой, но уже было адекватное разветление. (далее вставлю сообщение, которое я написал другу, с которым как то обсуждали fallout) :

"Я выбирал путь с йес меном. Т.к ну объективно доктор хаус хоть и гений, но его знаниям грош цена, ведь он зажравшийся тчеславный обезумевший упырь, который слишком отдален от настоящего людского понимания жизни. Сам факт сюжета игры случился из за того, что ослепленный своей гордостью бессмертный миллионнер не доглядел уровень безопасности в транспортизации важнейшего элемента для своих же роботов. Про цезаря говорить не стоит, а нкр это тупо милитарезированное государство (сука в вегасе посткапа хахаха), которое не может само справиться с теми территориями, которые они себе присваивают." Прикольный сюжет, который впринципе подходит игре. По поводу атмосферы- забудьте про постапокалепсис из fallout 3. Это чистейший вестерн с примесью Безумного Макса и наверно чутка города грехов (лас вегас всё же). Система напарников сделана неплохо, за некоторыми из них скрывуются интерестные истории и квесты с хорошей наградой.Сама по себе игра короче fallout 3, но она в разы сконцентрированней и насыщенней на события и квесты (что опять же, не делает вайба пустоши апокалептичной). Со временем я пришел к выводу, что эти игры уступают и побеждают друг друга в таких разных аспектах, что все таки лучше их не сравнивать (тут я это сделал, просто, чтоб была хоть какая то связь между моими словами из описания прошлой игры). Сейчас я прохожу fallout4.( Я на моменте, когда стоит построить телепорт, но концовки и так знаю). Игра обладает уже нормально доделанной версией движка с хорошей стрельбой, без ублюдской системы поломки вещей(кроме силовой брони, которую наконец нормально реализовали). Есть куча нововедений, из которых большое уважение хочется выписать системам улучшению оружия, силовой брони и обычной брони, которую теперь можно с определенной одеждой надевать на разные части тела, так же добавили безсмысленную систему строительства (с отдельным дополнением основывающимся на этой игровой механике). Побочные квесты неплохие обладают разными спектрам, но им мешает урезанная система диалогов, которая даже в fallout 3 была лучше (увы добавили репетативные квесты:"подай/принеси-отвали". Но все же доп контента в игре немеренно по сравнению с предыдущиии частями. Основной сюжет аналогично очень короткий, но именно под конец становится интерестно. Т.к я правда не знаю, чью сторону буду выбирать, все по моему либо слишком ублюдки наглые(братсво стали, институт), либо слишком тупые (подземка, минитмены). От чего неиронично я хочу сыграть "злодея" и уничтожить все фракции (хотя по моему мнению так будет даже лучше). Картинка крайне красивая и хоть мне не особо нравится этот ретрофутуризм, но всё равно исследовать локации мира игры интерестно из за окружения. В игре пруд пруди напарников, но я ближе к концу сюжета начал качать отношения с напарниками (до этого бегал с Адой, которую переделал в танк, который лазером и ракетами сжигал все на своём пути). Fallout 4 пока кажется игрой в разы лучше Fallout 3 по многим пунктам, но по моему личному мнению утсупает в системе диалогов местами.

[gardengarchivesofdoom]

Blog #1 - Lose yourself to plants

This post will just be an introduction to the plants I have right now. I want this blog to be like a journal where I make weekly updates on the state of my plants and what's happening to them. Posts after this will most likely be way shorter, just including pictures and notes on the plants.

This year I decided to start a bit early. The weather has been great the past few weeks and it bring me in a great mood to start working on the balcony again. The store I usually buy plants from doesn't sell outside plants anymore so I had to find a new place to buy them. I did find an amazing replacement for that previous store. I'd say they're way better that the previous one. It's like half an hour by bike but it's worth it's totally worth it.

Anyway, introducing our plants of this year:

Name: Trachella Species: Trachelospermum Planted on: Match 8th 2024

Since I have a trellis I wanted another climbing plant for it. I chose her because she only needs partial sun, doesn't get too big and also because she can't handle temperatures under -10 'C so she probably won't survive the winter. I'm not sure yet if it's a good idea for me to have to potentially huge plant on my balcony that I might have to remove when it gets too big, so I'm still playing it save for now. I just hope she'll look great on that trellis!

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Name: Cynthia Species: Hydrangea macrophylla Planted on: June 4th 2023

Hydrangea macrophylla are very hardy plants. Cynthia here has survived the whole winter without needing any tending to. She's the successor of another Hydrangea I had. They were the only casualty in the battle against the neighbor's cat, which I creatively called "Balcony cat", who was ravaging our once peaceful garden for months. It was their second year here but they died before the battle against Balcony Cat was resolved. Cynthia is already doing a great job following up her predecessor and I hope she'll continue to do great this year!

She might look a bit awkward with that empty space next to her, but that's because her previous plant-mate was a single-year plant. I still need to find a new plant to keep her company, but I want it to be another single year plant. I want Cynthia to grow as big as possible, so there might eventually not be enough room for two plants in the planter. I just want to be ready for that.

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Name: Cammy Species: Campanula Portenschlagiana Planted on: June 4th 2023

Cammy is the second plant returning from last year. Plants like her are usually found on mountains growing between the rocks, so it's no surprise she survived the winter easily. She has a lot of space because I hope she'll grow into it and we'll have a nice patch filling the entire planter.

There's not much history to tell on her because she's always just vibing in the background. Minding her business and doing just fine.

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Name: Victor Species: Vinca minor "Alba" Planted on: Match 8th 2024

I picked Victor because I thought he'd look really good in the planter on the drainpipe. I think he'd look beautiful with the stems hanging from the side. But two years in a row now, every plant on the drainpipe gotten infested with aphids. I don't know if I've just gotten unlucky and an aphid just happens to get blown onto my plants or that I bought plants with aphids on them. Either way, I hope just hope that I won't have to deal with them this year and that Victor will be spared from the aphid curse.

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There's still a plant that I haven't introduced yet, but that's because I haven't planted it yet. I'll probably introduce it next update since I don't want to postpone posting this post any longer than it needs to be. I don't want to fall into the same trap I did last year.

So, see you next week!

[keefiswhoiam]

January 16 - 2024 Tuesday

10:59pm

5.5/10

This morning I took my last shower at my parents. They weren't home so I was able to blast the GDQ stream over my phone while I got clean. For breakfast all I ate was a can of spaghettios warmed up by the heater so I could produce as few dishes as possible. I made and uploaded a few avatar pics as well.

In stream I warmed up with Ena sketches again. Then I worked on the big nanachi commission. A few of them had joined to watch and were apparently in a Discord call. They were fun to have in chat. I wanted to keep streaming when I was done but I had other things to move on to. After stream I took an hour to focus on cleaning up the place now that I got hot water back. I wiped down the sink/mirror, kitchen, and fireplace. Also removed some boxes and stuff laying around and vacuumed very thoroughly. I did this instead of jerking off which I regret.

Lunch was some really good rice a roni. It's cooking time ate into my afternoon work time and instead of wait until it was done cooking, I started my work anyways. I did half of a request before it was done cooking, I ate, and then I finished that request while in Ena's server VC. Then I worked on a Hitch x Misty pic for an hour and almost finished it. I left the call to do my yoga which was hard since I missed a few days and they tend to get harder as they go on. Then I moved onto my project which is when Daisy became free. Once again I think I need to step back and start over with what I'm doing, I didn't have as much of a plan as I needed. We watched a really rough episode of Bojack tonight and then continued our pony text adventure. I found it very hard to be creative with it tonight as much as I wanted to. We did that until bedtime which I played Kingdom Hearts during. Had some frustrating battles but I got through them.

I once again put on my MarsMiner persona and it works great, it just feels easier to do what I gotta do without the complications of how I 'feel' or what I 'think'. That can be saved for the appropriate times. I don't feel like I did the best job enjoying my free time though, I still felt a need to perform. I was also very horny today since I finally have the facilities back to clean up properly but instead I did my chores and chose not to stay up late to do it. I know better than to let those kinds of feelings make decisions.

2:11am

I woke up to jerk off because I couldn't ignore it. I really gotta listen to my body more. It's only natural to be sexual. I'm always hesitant to talk about it like it's an important thing in my life because there can be so much shame in being too sexually active even though there shouldn't be. It's not even a huge thing for me, not like it is for some people I know. But still I feel like I should never talk about it or if I do, I can't treat it like it's important. In this case it was important because my body needed it and I had to interrupt my sleep for it. I should have taken care of it earlier instead of keeping it at the bottom of my priority list. This is like a self care thing for me, I gotta do this for myself.

On another note I had some crazy deep post nut shower thoughts about my life and my past and what it all means to me. Sometimes I wish I could individually talk to everyone in my life that isn't here anymore for what feels like no reason. Like all the people I feel like should still be there. It feels like there's been so many. Maybe I can talk to some of them and just be open about feeling bad about how it all went. All I really want is closure, but I also can't bank on ever getting it. Closure might mean re-adjusting to what life actually is now instead of dreaming about what it could have been. I often find myself living a different reality and it holds me back so much.

[weewookinard]

you know what??? i need to write it

you can kudo it here!

Tommy is cooking some eggs when his phone buzzes, Evan's name appearing on his screen.

he still hasn't had the courage to change his ex's name in his contacts, nor to remove the adorable photo of Evan, smiling, Tommy's reading glasses slipped backwards onto his nose.

How many times had he hoped Evan would send him a message? That he'd contact him, somehow, to remind him how stupid he'd been to leave that night?

Hours spent staring at the cell phone, waiting to see the bubbles appear, hoping to hear the sound of that stupid ringtone Evan chose for him.

But now he hesitates, stares at the device without daring to approach it. He stands there, frozen, for too long. Is roused from his stupor by the smell of burning eggs.

“Fuck.” His movements quicken as he removes the frying pan from the fire, throws it on the worktop occupied by numerous empty glasses he hasn't had the courage to clean.

Memories of the night before come flooding back. Paul had everything to please on paper. A renowned artist with big, dreamy brown eyes and a perfect ass. They'd had a drink together in a bar, a date Lucy had arranged to force him out of the house. Then they'd tried that new Italian restaurant not far from his place. Not as good as Miceli's, but less cursed.

After that, the other man offered to follow him home, and Tommy couldn't say no. The dread of the cold bed waiting for him, of the silence after a moment spent with someone who seemed to care about him. They had a few drinks, with music playing in the background to warm up the atmosphere. He thought he was ready, Tommy, and then Paul approached. Put his lips on his, tasting of bolognese and white wine. The kiss lasted only a few seconds before Tommy stepped back, hands raised to mark the parting. He had apologized before pushing the other towards the exit.

A lonely night after all, and a craving for love -for Evan.

Instead he decided to make scrambled eggs. And now his eggs are ruined.

Did Evan sense that Tommy was seeing someone else? Does he know about the meeting? Is he angry? Is he happy that Tommy is finally getting his life back? So many stupid questions follow one another as anxiety mounts. A simple text message can change his life.

But what if?

His hands finally move before his brain makes a decision, and he unlocks the phone. Opens the chat thread between himself and Evan. And frowns, puzzled.

Evan sent him a meme. In the picture, a raccoon with tear-filled eyes faces the screen. Two sentences surround the poor animal. 'I ask for snuggles, but all I get are struggles'.

The pilot isn't quite sure he understands, and rereads the words again and again to be sure of what he's looking at. Is Evan talking to the wrong person? His eyes turn to the clock. 7 a.m., Evan has probably just returned home after a long shift. Fatigue may have led him to make a mistake.

In his mind's eye, the image of an exhausted Evan sprawled on his bed, his face half buried in his pillow, makes him smile. He imagines him hanging around on his phone as usual, rereading the same Reddit threads over and over, eyes closing between words. Maybe he saw this meme and wanted to send it to Eddie, or Maddie.

Maybe he wanted to send it to someone he was flirting with? Is he seeing someone? Tommy's smile evaporates and he puts the phone down, screen facing his kitchen counter. A coffee will suffice this morning.

It's almost 10 a.m. when he arrives at Harbor, ready for a 48-hour shift. His phone is on silent and he's been holding back from opening Evan's message again all morning. But the raccoon hasn't left his mind, haunting him everywhere he looks.

Lucy quickly comes to talk to him, furious with him, repeating that he's behaved like a jerk with Paul. Tommy doesn't have the strength to correct her, to tell her about his evening with the friend who failed to make him forget the man he loves. He prefers not to say anything, to concentrate on his work.

But when he gets out of his chopper after a successful operation and opens his phone to look at the time, his heart misses a beat. On the screen appears a new notification, a new message from Evan.

He hesitates to open it, his body vibrating with anxiety. He doesn't want Evan to apologize for his mistake, he doesn't want to know who the message was intended for.

But he clicks, he can't help it.

Evan: Where are my snuggles Tommy?

He can't hold back the smile on his lips as his finger presses the call button, finally.

Don't Trust Your Tired Self

A long shift, a trying day, exhaustion overtaking Buck rendering him both unable to resist the temptation of reaching out to Tommy and not clearheaded enough to think it through. He sends an image because words are too much and not enough and just won't do, then falls into a dreamless, bone-deep sleep.

Tommy wakes to this meme/gif/screenshot/photo from Buck: