#after I removed it I played for an hour and a half before I chose to shut down the game

[actual-corpse]

Mad that the only way you can appreciate Fallout 4 is when you have the option to Fast Travel removed.

And I mean like, physically disabled. The game will not allow you to fast travel (except for using the Vertibird grenades).

I was so sad by the distress call from Fallon's (even though I allowed it to loop for 30 minutes as I tried to get a Perfectly Preserved Pie). Listening to the crying of the woman trapped in the Jewelry Department safe.

Her final words were about how thirsty she was.

I left her skeleton a can of purified water and closed the door.

[endereies]

NAIL POLISH - MS

No Nut November - Day 13

NNN Masterlist...

-➤ You come home to see your daughter painting Matt's nails

After returning from running errands all morning, what you came back too wasn’t what you had pictured. There Matt sat with his hands splayed across a white desk that was far to small for his knees to be under while a blue brush dabs across his fingers, missing his nail most the time. Your daughter sat opposite him, her frame fitting perfectly as she leant on her elbow to paint Matt’s fingers hands. Several bottles of nail Polish were left slightly open as she kept flicking through each bottle over and over. Thankfully, due to their cute conversations, they hadn’t heard you walk in. Therefore you took this opportunity to admire the pair while you leant on the doorframe.

“Daddyyyy we got pink now.” Mila’s cute little sentences came out almost as a demand and you knew Matt had no say from the get go.

“Hmm... which one, we have the baby pink or the hot pink?” You could see Matt’s fingers twitch as he wanted to pick the colours up and surveillance them himself. He always wanted to be interactive with you and your daughter but this time he had to force himself to remain still.

She wiggled her fingers as her brain switched between them a few times before handling the baby pink as best she could. “This one!” The whole of her hand wrapped around the Polish, gripping it hard between her fingers to release the brush. After a few attempts and a giggle from Matt, it came undone and was placed back on the desk.

“Go on then sweetheart” Matt coaxed Mila gently as she thought about where the design was going to hold pink. Before the colour dripped off the brush, she hit it over his ring finger and then some.

“These look stunning Mila...” He stared at them with some admiration, even for a six year old kid, she did a decent job at colouring within the lines although she flooded his cuticle on almost every finger.

You just kept admiring the pair as they collectively bonded. You had to hold back a giggle when you kept seeing Matt’s gaze fall to the desk. It was covered in drops of nail polish. Both of you knew that it could be cleaned with the remover that wasn’t far from his hands and that he wanted to just embrace in the moment. He just couldn’t hold back his gritted teeth each time it happened.

“All done!” Mila sat there ever so proud by her hard work and beautiful creation that was now presented on Matt’s hands.

“Yeah? You did amazing as always kiddo, how about while you play I’ll give it a strong protector and let it dry. We don’t want this hard work to go to waste now do we?” Mila shook her head and got up to give her dad a hug on his side before running off to her playroom. Once her footsteps disappeared, you made an appearance.

“Having fun there?” He almost jumped out of his skin, thankfully he wasn’t holding the top coat just yet.

“Jeez baby. You scared me...” A moment of silence passed as he looked down to his hands. “How was I going to say no to that adorable face, besides she chose better colours this time.”

You giggled as you watched Matt stretch his legs after what must have been half an hour. “Just doing a top coat and then rubbing the excess off”

“You know you’re going to be having those for a while if you do that. And I’m videos too?” He scoffed and looked at you through his lashes.

“Yeah? I want that. Why go out and pay a hefty buck when I have my personal artist here at home.” You couldn’t hold back the pure smile at his behaviour.

“She’ll love you forever if you do that.”

“I hope she will...”

@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerrss @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris @colorthecosmos444 @anabethinking @zay-sturns @anyaa2s @emilyfaith2003 @jassturn @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @sturniolosiphone @ribread03 @slutf4rmatt @spaghetti835928383

© ENDEREIES 2024

[satorhime]

trouble comes twice ࿐ gojo satoru x female reader. satoru falls ill with a case of baby fever after seeing his baby girl dressed up as him.

content . ᕀ gojo and reader are parents [ referred to as ‘dada’ & ‘mama’ ], brief mention of pregnancy, emotional!gojo, sweet fluff with slightly suggestive dialogue at the end. 

“dada- dada, look at me!” 

your daughter screeches out, announcing her arrival with the bright and melodic babble of a mischievous child. she stands on her tippy toes, her fingers covering your own as she helps you twist the knob and open the door to satoru’s office. 

even now, he forgets that he’s a father, until he is reminded in the most wonderful way. sometimes, your five-year-old will beg to wake satoru up two hours before he has to go to work just so they can play with her dolls together, or she’ll step all over his toes as she squeezes in between him and the kitchen counter while the three of you cook dinner together or like right now, crashing towards him with all the subtlety of a carpet bomb of cursed energy— so eager to show off her costume that her feet accidentally stumble over your heels. 

dressed up as a miniature version of him. 

his lips curve into an instant grin, pressing the button on the screen of the phone tucked between his ear and shoulder to end his current call.  the sound of the higher up scolding him cutting off sharp and abrupt makes his grin widen. they can wait, but his baby girl cannot. twisting in his chair, he catches his daughter just as she collides against him with an audible oof. 

“did we interrupt an important call?” you greet him, a soft smile on your glossy lips as you walk around the large desk satoru is seated at. you pat a hand to his knee before leaning against the edge of his desk. “sorry, i tried to get her to wait.” 

“you kiddin’? nothing’s more important than my two best girls,” he says, tugging at the bottom edge of his blindfold to drag it down, his expression playful as he watches his daughter copy him. she hurriedly removes her own blindfold, a tiny scrap of cloth covering her summer blue eyes. 

“so who are you?” he teases her, twitching one milky brow at the bouncing toddler in front of him. “where’s princess? did a curse finally eat my snotty kid?”  

“i’m the strongest!” your daughter chirps excitedly, crisscrossing two baby fingers to mimic his domain summon. 

your bitty sprout is so precious with her tiny white curls, tied into two space buns and her black blindfold that she scratches at with the back of her fist. not to mention, the bottom half of her cherub face is covered by the high collar of the jacket she’s wearing, identical to gojo’s standard uniform and the result of you staying up all night at your sewing machine, shredding one of his spares into a costume for your daughter. 

looking at her like this, she really is a tinier, stickier version of gojo satoru. 

“the strongest, huh? look at that, you’re already my favorite child. megumi would never offer to take my place so i can retire early.” 

“satoru…” you start, shaking your head in half-hearted exasperation. “when she picks up your sass and uses it against you, i’ll be the first to say “i told you so.’” 

“worried you’ll be outnumbered, mama?” he shoots the words at you, flashing a smile that amusement drizzles from like sweet icing. 

you roll your eyes, and then he turns back to his daughter, reaching down to effortlessly gather her against his broad chest before he pulls gently at one of her fat cheeks, nuzzling her close. “how come you chose to dress up as me, jellybean? it’s not october.” 

“i’m going to a costume party for keigo and haru,” she explains excitedly, her little face brightening at the mention of suguru’s sons. “but mama couldn’t find scarlet witch costume.” 

“oh, ouch,” he whines dramatically, placing a hand over his heart and pretending to be wounded by her open honesty. “wound me some more.” 

“dada, you’re so dramatic,” she giggles at him, and though satoru’s genetics may have overpowered your own for the most part, the roll of her eyes is a trait she learned directly from you. 

“second place is a serious injury, little princess. i should go see if shoko’s awake to make sure i’m not dying-”

“i wanted to dress up as dada because he’s a hero, like avengers,” she cuts him off, so perceptive and honest. your daughter latches on to the collar of his jacket so she can pull his head closer and plant him a slobbery mwah! on his cheek, and if you see gojo’s eyes mist over, glassy ocean blue from tears, you don’t comment on it. 

“down, please,” she requests, grunting and wriggling until he sets her down on the floor with a wobbly chuckle. unaware that her father’s expression has glazed over, his mind spiraling from her words. 

gojo satoru doesn’t even shed tears at funerals, but right now? his eyes flicker to you desperately, and you soften like clouds, nodding silently. 

“sweet pea, the party starts at 3:30 so you have plenty of time to show megumi-nii your costume, why don’t you?” you suggest, giving your boyfriend a moment to discreetly wipe the wet away from his cheeks. sure, he’s seen his students grow into formidable sorcerers that he is infinitely proud of and sure, he may have gotten choked up once or twice while snapping memories of megumi’s important milestones— like his middle school graduation, and that one time he didn’t insult gojo loudly when he picked him up from class in front of his peers— but this…? this overwhelms him, the kind of love he feels right now.

this love… this love is so different, something he’s never experienced before. it’s unlike quick flings brought home from bars, trying to lift the weight off his shoulders for a couple of hours with a pretty face. it’s unlike the near religious idolization from his clan, smothering him with their expectations and obsessive admiration. it’s whole and pure— it’s his family, his true one. it’s you and your baby girl driving away his loneliness like sunlight chases down bad dreams. 

“okay, mama!” she agrees, nodding.

“but go directly to his room. remember where it is?” 

“i remember!” 

“i’ll be right behind you after i talk to your da. don’t annoy megumi-nii too much, ‘kay?” you turn around, opening the door to let your daughter out of satoru’s office and into the long corridor where you watch as she waddles in the direction to megumi’s room. when you can no longer see her, you step back into the office and shut the door before turning to look at your boyfriend. “she’s so excited to go to this party. it’s supposed to be superhero-themed and she wanted to dress up as wanda maximoff, but- are you still crying?” 

satoru barely remembers moving so quick, reaching out to hook one of his strong arms around your waist to pull you into his lap sideways.. he barely remembers cupping your cheeks into his big palms as if you’re his most precious thing, a goddess that carved out a piece of heaven for him to hold here on earth. your body is rounded and soft, a comfort to him when his emotions get the best of him. his eyes, pale blue like the northern glaciers, flicker over your face— to your expression that is more than concerned, and your lips that are parting to ask if he’s okay, and then, he’s kissing you—

you gasp, but your initial surprise melts into love, like a piece of chocolate held between your fingertips for too long, because you know what came over him now. you feel it too sometimes, when you see him bonding with your baby girl. it’s sweet, the way he spells words into those kisses— gratitude, affection, and something a little more primal that you can’t place. 

god, he knows you can feel his tears, saltine as they slip traitorously down his cheeks to pool in between the cracks of your joined lips.

when he pulls away a little, you wipe his wet cheeks with your thumbs, your heart tender from the aches until he ruins the moment by whispering four words against your lips that make your big doe eyes widen to full moons. 

“i want another one.” 

huh.

“are you crazy?” you whisper-shout, laying a fist against his chest to keep him from moving closer and indulging him in another kiss. before jellybean was born, having a child together had not been in either of your wishlists for the future, but two pale pink lines gleaming on your bathroom counter five years ago had changed everything and now, you couldn’t imagine life without her. 

but another one? 

“don’t tell me you’re getting baby fever just because she dressed up as you.” 

satoru doesn’t know what has come over him. he never wanted to have children of his own anyway. it was one of those stubborn pacts he made with himself when he was young and flippant. but seeing his baby girl dressed up as him— calling him a hero above all of his faults and failures— is making him want an entire litter with you, a dream team.

“she said i was a hero. i need to hear that from at least one more little me.” 

“we’re not having another baby just to feed your ego, satoru,” you shake your head. “i mean it so stop giving me that look!” 

“what look?”

“that look, the one that tells me you want to bend me over your desk right now,” you huff, “i have a party to go to.” 

“but she was so cute in her little costume, wasn’t she? we make cute kids, i told you that the first time you let me-” 

“i should have left you at dinner that night.” 

“but you didn’t,” he says, grinning toothily, his long, pale fingers sneaking under the hem of your shirt to tease at soft skin underneath. he’s got you already, and he knows it. “just like you ain’t gonna leave this office without another baby in you.”

꒰ LOLLYNOTE ꒱: waaaah, i hope you enjoyed this lil piece ! this was a bit selfshippy and totally self indulgent but i hope you love it anyways <3 thank you to @sleepygetou for letting me use her darling babie ocs keigo & haru too 🥹

[xoxochb]

Hey Prue!

I would like to request a Connor Stoll fic where he is super flirty with reader (maybe Hecate!reader if you have any ideas) but she acts uninterested and grumpy towards him even though she does like him in secret

Take your time and have an amazing day!! 🫶

⋆·˚ ༘ * nothing’s new

warnings: I swear but what’s new, rabid behavior pairing: connor stoll x daughter of hecate

i. cabin twenty + the dining pavilion

you almost started crying at the realization that connor stoll would not leave you alone until you had gotten up from your bed. ten minutes ago he took it upon himself to walk into cabin twenty without permission and rudely wake you from your peaceful slumber. he first knelt beside you and mumbled a ‘good morning, pretty’ to which you threw your blanket over your head to assure he wouldn’t see the pink hue adorning your face

when you didn’t respond to his good morning he sat beside you, sliding down the blanket and taking your head into his lap. after a while he got bored of that position and moved face-to-face with you. don’t be fooled because you still did not acknowledge his presence. although the close proximity made your body temperature increase millions of degrees. which is the time point at this current moment. you so badly wanted to remove the blanket and get ready for the day (even if the day was half over by now) but doing this would result in endless teasing from connor saying that he was the one who made you get up

but you were no hephaestus kid, really. the heat wasn’t something you could handle for so long. with a sigh, you opened your eyes, faced with connor creepily staring at you.

“hey, stoll” you whisper “do you have a staring problem or something?”

connor laughs. “only with pretty girls”

“what other pretty girl’s beds do you lay in?” you roll onto your back. connor settles for your side profile

“you’re the only pretty girl at camp”

you roll your eyes. “so are the aphrodite kids”

“they’re nothing compared to you”

you scoff and stand up at last. “I need to start my day, please leave”

he frowns. “I can’t watch?”

your brows furrow. “watch my morning routine? don’t you have something better to do than watch my morning routine?”

he ponders for a moment before shaking his head. you sigh and drag him off your bed by his wrists- which you were surprised to find he let you do. when you reach the cabin twenty door you open it and push him out. connor laughs. you chose to ignore his antics and begin your morning routine alone

ੈ✩‧₊˚

when you arrive at the dining pavilion a half an hour later (which was technically too early for lunch since it wouldn’t start for another half an hour but you wanted breakfast instead) you see connor stoll sitting lonely at the hecate cabin table. you settle on sitting across the table from him

“what’re you doing here, stoll? this is my cabins table and last time I checked it’s too early for lunch”

the son of hermes breaks into a large grin and slides a mug over to you. “I got you coffee since you missed breakfast”

you squint your eyes at him, suspicious that he might’ve tampered with your beverage but nonetheless you take a sip, surprised to taste a perfect cup of coffee. if connor wasn’t so infuriating you might’ve kissed him for this

“holy shit, that’s really good. how’d you remember how I take my coffee?”

connor shrugs. “I remember more about you than you think”

“like what?”

“like…” he looks around as if there would be answers hanging on a sign before returning his gaze to you “your favorite holiday is halloween! and you hate cherries with a passion. your favorite author is stephen king, scary movies don’t scare you, when you were five you thought the world was going to end during a minor heat wave, you have a rock collection- I’ve even added a few myself I think you’d like, you play piano in your free time, you hate mornings and anything christmas related, your biggest fear is spiders, and-”

“I think your point has been proven”

“okay…” connor slowly nods his head “do you remember anything about me?”

“you threw a tarantula at me once”

connor laughs when he recalls the memory. “that was pretty awesome. except for when you bit me”

“you threw a fucking spider at me what the hell else was I supposed to do?”

“scream like a normal person?”

“I was angry with you”

“doesn’t change the fact that you’re rabid”

“I am not rabid”

“you’re still pretty if that’s what you’re worried about”

you roll your eyes and take a last sip of your coffee before standing up to walk away, connor follows close behind

“where are you going?”

without stopping you say, “away from you”

“I love you too”

“go away!”

ii. the campfire + the infirmary

the second time today you almost cried was at the campfire when connor stoll wanted to make you a s’more. as abnormal as it sounds it was truly necessary. what angered you about this was how he wouldn’t burn the marshmallow- like you requested many times, the treat had to be black for you to eat it

“give me the damn stick, stoll!” you use your best attempt to grab the stick from connor’s grasp. which was unsuccessful

“I’m burning it, princess y/l/n. give me a minute”

“don’t call me that, weirdo”

“your wish is my command, queen y/n”

“I’m going to fucking hurt you”

as much as you hate when connor is right, in this moment you couldn’t care less. you took his arm holding the stick and dug your teeth into his skin, he yelps and drops the stick in the fire, disintegrating your marshmallow and the stick

“ow! what was that for?”

“you lost my marshmallow, you idiot. get me another!”

“you bit me! I’m wounded!”

“you’re barely bleeding

“but I am! I need a bandaid, princess” connor inspects the new bite mark on his skin, blood trickling down it.

you sigh and stand up, holding a hand out for the boy to take, which he does dramatically. “c’mon you baby, let’s get you a bandaid”

“aww, you care about me. I care about you too, even if you’re rabid”

“don’t make me regret this”

you pull him along to the infirmary, at the moment closed because most campers were in bed or at the campfire. to your luck connor knew how to pick a lock so you got in easily. you closed the door behind you and searched through the drawers until you found the collection of bandaids. you pick up the marvel pack and pull out a spider-man

“give me your arm”

connor allows you to take his arm in your hands and you place the spider-man bandaid over the bite mark (which by now had stopped bleeding)

“spider-man?! you remembered that he was my favorite superhero, I knew you liked me!”

“I just happen to have a good memory. your stupid superhero obsession unfortunately stuck with me”

“what else?” he asks eagerly

you roll your eyes and drop his arm. “we’re not doing this”

“you don’t want to admit that you like me”

“you’re an idiot”

“if you could put up with me for all these years I must not be that idiotic?”

no he is not. but you wouldn’t grant him the pleasure of knowing that

“it doesn’t matter”

you (attempt to) cross your arms but connor takes both your hands in his, holding them over his heart which you take notice beats rapidly

“It matters to me”

your thankful for the dark of the infirmary or connor would’ve teased you relentlessly for the pink hue once again adorning your cheeks

“why?” you whisper

“because I like you. and I don’t know if I could live knowing that you hate me”

you frown. almost hesitantly you place connor’s hands over your heart this time, beating equally as rapid. he smiles

“I don’t hate you”

“really?”

you nod. “I just like biting you”

“that’s kinky”

although he ruined the moment, this time you don’t feel like crying

[hockybish]

Birthday Moments: Mason

l hughes!sister au l lola hughes l mason x lola l

January 30, 2024

"Happy Birthday Mase!" Lola smiled brightly. She held out a little cupcake with a single candle in it. "Make a wish and blow out the candle!"

Mason took the little cake and made his wish. He broke the cupcake in half and shared part of the delicacy with the pretty girl he had a crush on.

"Did your wish come true?" Lola asked at the end of the night. Mason shook his head no. There was no way his wish was coming true this year. Maybe next year. "What was it?"

"Can't it's a secret. It might now come true if I spill" Mason smiled to himself. There was always next year.

one year later

Mason looked around the airport, trying to see if Lola was there. They were meeting up during the all star break and going on a little vacay together, just the two of them.

Lola spotted her boyfriend standing by himself and took off running towards him. She launched herself into his arms when she got close enough and gave him a birthday kiss.

"Mmm thank you" he hummed happily

"For what?" Lola cocked her head to the side.

"My wish from last year was a kiss for my birthday .... from you" Mason smirked going in for another kiss, this was going to be a good year.

January 30, 2027

Once again it was his birthday and Mason was out at some bar. He and Lola weren't going to be together this year, but the boys were more than willing to help make up for that by taking him out.

hey you alone?

Mason didn't have a chance to say anything back as he received a video from her. Not really he opened it and started watching. It started off by Lola dancing.

"Oh shit" Mason got a little flustered and dropped his phone on the table when Lola started to take off her clothes and her movements began getting a bit more risqué.

"What are you watching?" Trevor reached for the device. Mason attempted to snag it at the same time, but Trevor got it first. There wasn't anything new he hadn't seen already, aside from a new tattoo she had in her ribs.

"Oh my god, my eyes" he threw the phone as well. This garnered the attention of the others in their party, who were now interested to know what was up.

Mason quickly pocketed his phone. He used the bathroom quickly and headed home where he could fully appreciate the video. The next day Lola gave him a call in-between interviews and events.

"Like your present?"

"Yes, but not before half the guys saw it and I had to take of my hard on in the bathroom"

January 30, 2032

"She's kicking again. Feel feel feel" Lola took Mason's hand. She placed it where she could feel babygirl moving around. Only as soon as he touched her belly babygirl stopped. This happened a lot.

"She stopped again." Mason sighed removing his hand from her belly. "Let's just face it, she hates me already"

"No she doesn't! She just doesn't know you. You've been gone a lot and she- wait a minute" Lola turned around, she felt a couple of jabs against her kidney.

"Young lady, you gotta be nice to your daddy. Especially today. It's his birthday, how nice would that be? Agree?" Lola rubbed her stomach.

They tried again, this time Mason felt the little wave underneath his palm. A smile spread on his face. He crouched down to kiss her stomach.

"Hi Sweetie. It's daddy. I love you so much" He talked to her.

January 30, 2038

"Shh Zu, be quiet, we gotta surpise Daddy" Lacey held her baby sister and snuck into their parents bedroom with Lola trailing them with a little full of breakfast things.

Mason heard them, he had already been awake for a couple of hours now, but chose to pretend to be asleep to play into their "surprise."

Lacey placed Zuzu on the bed and climbed up after her. Zuzu went straight for Mason's face, smacking him with her little hands, biting his nose and cooing at him. Lacey just jumped on him eliciting an oof from him.

"Wake up Daddy, it's your birfday!" Lacey jumped on Mason, eliciting an oof from him, and effectively getting him up.

"It's my birthday? No way. I thought my birthday was last year." he took the baby off his face.

"Daddy!" Lacey rolled her eyes. She handed him a picture she drew of him with her and Zuzu and they ate donuts.

[yaoibrainworms]

Winterkov Anon back in the building. I lied when I said 24 hours. Here you go, with a hades and persephone reference towards the end.

——-

The week’s almost up. He’s pulled every trick in the book to try and entice his other half to stay but it hasn’t worked. 

Not one bit. 

He’s shown off all the marvel’s his winter wonderworld has to offer. Brought them to every shop to show off what his citizens can create. Wined and dined them, and offered up fine tailoring. 

He should be happy to stay. 

He should want to stay, but his gaze keeps turning back to fiona and cake. To other responsibilities. 

It aches because while he understands, he doesn’t want to lose this familiar warmth. He’s lost it once, he can’t lose it again. Simon’s practically the same person, albeit younger. Less experienced. Shouldn’t he understand? 

So, it’s understandable that he happens to decline from being as excellent of a host as he usually is. To leave them to their own devices as the crown nears completion. 

(He has to understand. They’re the same person, after all.)

From rags, to that dratted old muumuu. He keeps them affectionately stored and displayed, as he prepares a room. 

He can always delay it. 

He just needs more time to convince Simon to stay. 

(Maybe Fiona and cake too. No skin off his back if they choose to stay or leave.)

Maybe, just maybe. They need that same old threat to remind them it’s safer with him? While he prefers to keep to his own devices, it’s been long overdue for the candy queen to make a visit. 

(The visitor he keeps down in the dungeons would work too, wouldn’t they?) 

Day Six. The duplicate crown’s being cooked. Close to being finished. They’re only here for that.

He could tamper with that, couldn’t he? Dangerous, but when has anything been dangerous for him lately? 

It’s a tricky dilemma. Tricky, tricky. 

He’ll have to do it later. It wouldn’t be that hard to maneuver a rampaging overgrown beetle into attacking him in his lab. While he doesn’t like playing knight, it’ll be all worth it. 

Breakfast, first. He still has to be a good host, if he can’t be excellent or diligent as he would like. He claps his hands, and ice servants go blitzing across the castle. 

(The benefits of magic. Even if it makes him feel lonelier, as these were all servants designed to bend knee to him. To lavish praise, and go yes, yes, yes!)

Then, he turns heel and goes to get his guests. First stopping at a door a few rooms down from his. Simon’s room, of course. Fiona & Cake chose to sleep in the other wing. 

“Good morning, Simon!” It’s a rushed cheer, with closed eyes as he opens the room. A groan is heard, and who is he to leave his half like this? It wouldn’t make him a good host to let him sleep in, no, no, no!

He waltzes in. Comes closer to the bed, and smiles upon seeing the familiar head of hair burrowing into the pillows. 

He isn’t awake. The winter king swallows down something desperate in his throat, a wordless need that chokes him. He wants this. To be able to check in on his older half and be contented that he chose to stay. 

It’s an insidious want. Even as he reminded himself to not be too attached in the event they left anyway. It’s insidious enough he can’t help but press a kiss to their head, before gently stroking it. 

Then he removes his hand, and turns an eye across the guest room. Not personalized, but that’s okay because he has a room being designed for his half in the makings right now. 

An alarm clock would do him just finely, wouldn’t it? Something to add to his room later, for when he moves Simon out of the guest room and into a room properly befitting his other half. 

He sets his hand on their shoulder and gently shakes. “Didn’t you want to tinker around in the labs today?” 

Simon below him, is a roaring inferno compared to the cold his fingers hold. It’s enough to have him shudder a tad as he gently pulls them away. He’ll get later opportunities to touch him. 

Simon lays in bed, but there’s a noise of affirment as the poor thing rolls around onto his back to grasp at the nightstand. 

(If Simon's fingers brush along his waist, The Winter King will simply deny the way he leaned into it.)

He only smiles, turns away and resolves to try harder. To be as attentive as possible today, as he sets the cards into motion. 

(He can’t be alone again. Even if that means he has to offer up pomegranates to his dear half.)

——-

Enjoy, I got excited to write this.

❄️🩵❄️

[transientwordsmith]

HaKodesh Kadosh (Take me to Shul)

nsfw, religious imagery, ~1500 words

It was his brother’s bar mitzvah. His mother was absolutely livid when we walked in a half hour after shacharit had already started. She couldn’t chew us out since she was sitting at the front of the room, closest to the bimah, so she settled on giving us death stares. We both grabbed siddurs and he grabbed a kippah before we both went our separate ways, on opposite sides of the mechitza.

It didn't really matter to me which side of the mechitza I sat on, but I chose the women’s side that day to try to allay his mother’s fears of us disrupting the service after the transgression of coming in late.

I picked a seat all the way in the back. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to show support for the bar mitzvah boy and his family, it’s just that sometimes the rabbi can go on for a long time, and I want to be able to pull out my book without judgment.

Today, though, I was feeling rather spiritual. I abandoned my book in the siddur holder attached to the back of the seats in front of me and stood with the congregation. I said kaddish with them and sang along as they took the torah out of the aron and paraded it around the sanctuary. They even brought it all the way to where I was sitting so I could plant a little kiss on it.

I kept my eye on the person carrying the torah as they took it up to the bimah. They started to undress it, removing the cloth cover, velcro band, and adornments that kept it safe while it sat in the aron, waiting to be used.

“I wish that could be us,” said a voice from the other side of the mechitza. I didn’t have to pull the curtain aside to know that it was him.

“Are you serious? Right now?” I hissed. If it was any other situation I’d be inclined to humor him. But this felt a little sacrilegious. 

“Oh come on, I know you’re thinking it too. Plus, he’ll become a man whether I’m here or not, we may as well have a little fun while we’re here.”

I said a silent prayer for forgiveness and reminded myself that sex is technically a mitzvah.

I closed my siddur, put it in the holder attached to the seat in front of me, and slipped my hand behind the mechitza. His hand met mine and he interlocked our fingers. He brushed his thumb over the back of my hand for a minute, testing the waters.

I heard the sound of fabric against drywall in addition to the feeling of his weight shifting. I realized he’d moved from his seat to the floor and I followed suit. As soon as I got comfortable he got bolder. He moved our hands from his side to my side, and he rested them on my thigh.

He unclasped our hands and placed his palm on my leg. He didn’t stop the rubbing of his thumb, moving it from the back of my hand to my inner thigh. They had finished undressing the torah by now and had already called up some family member for the first aliyah.

As the bracha was read, his hand climbed higher and higher until it rested just before my most sensitive spot. I let out a shaky breath before placing my hand over his, guiding it onward.

“Amein,” the crowd sang out, and he sang it with them as he expertly slipped his hand under my clothes. I stifled a gasp as he ran his fingers through my pubic hair. I peered behind the mechitza and saw him looking dead ahead. He was playing the part of the perfect older brother, the good Jewish boy. But for a moment, he glanced over at me and flashed a sultry grin. I prayed the sound of crinkling candy wrappers would mask whatever noises I made.

After a few minutes he got bolder, moving his fingers so that they brushed against my sex. He worked them back and forth, with varying pressure, knowing just how to push my buttons and make me groan. He kept going, through the second and third aliyah, at a lazy pace, ignoring my hushed requests for him to speed up.

Then, all of a sudden, he stopped. I looked over and he got up almost mechanically, taking out a travel pack of kleenex and wiping his hands on it. I watched as he walked up to the bimah and put on a tallit. I mentally smacked myself. Of course he was reading from the torah. He’s the bar mitzvah boy’s brother. I saw him adjust his kippah and take the yad in his hand. Some people I didn’t recognize stood beside him and said the bracha, and then he began to read.

I tried to follow along in a chumash, but I couldn’t. I was still so distracted by his touch. I could feel the pulsing arousal in my core and I couldn’t ignore it. Eventually I worked up the courage to bring myself to the front of the sanctuary; to sit next to the bimah. I brought my chumash with me and I sat myself down right near where he was standing. He couldn’t see me yet, he was too focused on reading, but when he was done, he looked around and caught my eye. He came around to the right side of the table where the torah was being held, holding my gaze the entire time. I wondered if he was going to bend down and say something to me, when I noticed his hands were moving. He gestured to me, then to him, and then to the aron. I cocked my head at him. He wasn’t seriously suggesting…?

Before I could clarify his attention was taken by the chazzan, who was asking him to recite a bracha. Only two more aliyot before he would be able to sit down with me again.

Or so I thought. I had forgotten that the rabbi enjoyed speaking at length to the celebrating family. He was stuck up there for what felt like a million years. The rabbi droned on and on about community and adulthood and whatnot before finally giving the family a little baggie full of assorted judaica. I caught his eye one last time before he sat down next to his brother. He mouthed something to me, which looked a lot like “meet me behind the aron” before turning to face the front of the room, acting as if nothing had happened.

I sat on my hands all throughout musaf, trying to keep my mind on the prayers instead of where it wanted to go. I forced myself to say the words of the kaddish in earnest and I tried my best to follow along through the recitation of the amidah. But the end of the service couldn’t come fast enough. When the rabbi finally said the bracha over the wine, it took everything in my power to not race up to the bimah.

As calmly as I could, I ascended the small steps and looked around for him. I didn’t see him at first, but then I heard a hiss from behind me.

“Over here!”

I turned around to see a hand poking out from behind the aron. Inconspicuously, I went around the side to find that there was a small crawl space behind the aron that I had never known about, and that he had discovered. He beckoned me inside and I gladly took his invitation.

Neither of us wasted any time on pleasantries. We were both too worked up. He quickly slipped his fingers under my clothes once more and I took this opportunity to finally kiss him. I kissed him long and hard, moaning into his mouth as he worked his magic, flooding my senses with pure arousal.  I bucked my hips, grinding into his hand, and he laughed softly.

“You’re so worked up,” he whispered. “Maybe we should come here every week.”

I didn’t know if the pun had been intended, but even if it wasn’t he sped up his handiwork. I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer, and I tried to warn him. He simply shushed me and enveloped my mouth in another kiss. I continued to muffle breathy moans into his mouth as he pushed me over the edge and helped me through the aftermath.

Afterward I wanted to fall limp, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. I hadn’t realized how much energy I had devoted to this, but now that I had lost it I just wanted to fall asleep. He beckoned me closer and pulled my head onto his lap.

“Don’t worry about falling asleep,” he reassured me. “Everyone’ll be back for seudat shlishit. They won’t even know we’re gone. His words calmed my nerves, and I was able to fall into an easy doze.

[theangrykimchi]

For the number Thorki prompts. Any of these sound fun: 10, 21, 22, 27, 44.

Hii, thank you for the prompt! I chose 27 - as a suggestion 😍 I had the whim to write Disney World actors in luv so here it is! Hope you will like it 😘

Read on AO3

With a tired sigh, Loki removed the horny helmet from his head as soon as he entered the backstage building, the door shutting behind Thor who followed after him.

“Man, I can't wait to take this thing off,” Thor said, taking off his helmet too.

“Yeah, same. It's too hot today,” Loki agreed, tugging at the neckline of his costume. “At least your costume doesn't have sleeves.”

“Yay for small miracles, I guess.” Coming to walk beside him, Thor smiled at him, bumping their shoulders together, making Loki smile, too, despite his discomfort.

They had met when they had both auditioned for the roles of, ironically enough, <i>Thor</i> and <i>Loki</i> from the blockbuster Disney movies. Loki Fergusson, who was still a university student back then, needed an easy part time job and Thor Bjornson, who was backpacking through the USA, needed some easy cash so he could continue with his traveling. Now, five years later, they were both still working at Disney World, taking on longer and longer shifts while looking for better jobs in their field (Loki) or saving up to return home (Thor).

They hadn't clicked right away—Thor was too energetic, too extroverted, while Loki was the exact opposite, preferring the few hours of peace and quiet he got over going out and partying his salary away. But having to play the brothers in the amusement park and, later, moving in together to share the costs—they already spent more than half the day together at that point, why not share an apartment closer to their place of work too?—had led to them becoming very close friends, despite their differences.

Entering their air-conditioned dressing room, finally, Loki sighed in relief for the coolness of the room and placed the helmet on its shelf, clicking his tongue at Thor chucking his carelessly on the sofa.

“Can you get the zipper for me? I need to get this off ASAP or I may perish.”

“Yeah, sure.”

He felt Thor's warmth when he stepped close behind him, goosebumps spreading on his skin as Thor’s fingers brushed his hair away and caressed the back of his neck on their way to the zipper. Surely on accident.

“Re-enacting Titanic today was pretty fun,” Thor said, the zipper making a soft hissing sound as it was pulled down Loki's back.

“I swear to God, these fans will have us kissing before long,” Loki answered with a soft laugh.

Thor hummed, fingers hovering, still holding the zipper.

“Maybe we should,” he said after a moment, finally parting the zipper and pushing the fake leather jacket from Loki's shoulders, his hands almost too warm on Loki's body through the protective t-shirt he was wearing beneath the costume.

When Loki spoke his voice came out breathless. “Do what?”

Thor stepped closer, pushing the jacket down his arms, tucking his face on the side of Loki's head.

“Kiss,” he whispered, lips brushing against the shell of Loki's ear.

Heart beating hard inside his ribcage, Loki felt the jacket falling over his hands, cuffing them in the fabric.

“W-what?”

Thor came around him, standing in front of him now, not meeting his wide, hopeful eyes as he took first one and then his other hand to release them from the sleeves.

“Just sayin’, the fans want it, the creators insinuate it, why shouldn't we give them what they want?” he said, flippantly almost.

“Oh,” Loki said dejectedly, feeling as if the air had left him entirely, his lungs squeezing inside him suffocatingly. “I thought–I–yeah, I don't know–the managers–” Loki stammered.

Loki <i>never</i> stammered. But it was hard not to when there was no breath inside him and his heart was hurting so painfully.

“Fuck the managers. We aren't going to work at this place all our lives, Loki. Let's have some fun before we move on to better things.”

<i>Better things</i>. Loki felt his eyes sting.

Too-warm hands cupped both sides of Loki's neck, making him refocus his zoned out sight to Thor's face as he ducked slightly to stare directly at him.

A small, hopeful, idiotic smile was curling his lips.

“Don't make that face. What I want to say is that I really want to kiss you stupid, idiot.”

Blood shot to Loki's head, making him feel lightheaded suddenly, his cheeks burning. He slapped Thor on his bare bicep, looking at him angrily.

“You <i>asshole</i>! I thought you weren't interested in me!”

Thor laughed, stocking Loki's ire as he left a soft peck on the tip of his straight nose.

“What do you say, should we practice?” He asked, stepping closer, brushing their noses together for a sweet moment before Loki tipped his head and slid their lips together.

“Idiot,” Loki whispered against Thor's soft lips. His arms coming up around broad shoulders as they chased after another kiss, swallowing Thor's insufferable little chuckle with his tongue.

[lennonhead]

Dainohara Forest Park obstacle course adventure

I've been wanting to do an obstacle course from the time I got back to Japan. today I did one

there are 12 stations, but one was removed and one was just "pat yourself on the back for finishing" basically, so there's 10 stations of note

doing this when you are almost 30 is one of the hardest things a person can do, in my opinion. looking at this first structure from the beginning, I felt like I was looking death in the face. but it would be really pathetic if I couldn't do it, so I held onto the ropes like they were my only hope and successfully crossed the two bridges. COMPLETE

this one, you're supposed to climb a rope and ring the bell at the top. there are 3 difficulty levels. I chose the easiest, but despite many attempts, I couldn't even begin climbing the rope because those wood thingies don't stay put so you can't find any footing on them. by the way, we did no rope climbing in gym class at my school. this is why I am such a weak, miserable excuse for a human being. FAILURE

this one, you climb up then cross a bridge with varying levels of height and wiggliness. even just climbing up the structure was hard, but I did complete this one! sorry to the other people walking below me on the trail who had to hear my self-encouragement and shouts of surprise/fear. COMPLETE

in the background is the other obstacle which was just a balance beam. now, come on, I can do that at least. COMPLETE

oh no. oh god

I could climb up the little poles, feeling very much like a cool ninja, but unfortunately I couldn't get onto the slanted log thing. it was hard to fully step onto it. I even took off my backpack but it was just impossible. I think it was partially a mental issue. if I jumped onto it, I would have been able to get on, but I was too unsure of my footing and the "safety net" as you can see is a bunch of jagged rocks. I tried to start from the halfway point, but ultimately everything was just so wiggly. FAILURE

slide!

this looked steep but really unassuming, but you go REALLY fast on it. "wind blowing through your hair" fast. I got surprised, so I grabbed the edges and slowed myself down the first time (I was wearing my day labourer gloves for a better grip). I was then unsatisfied with calling it a completed obstacle, so I tried it again. instinct made me grab the edges before I flew off the end, but I think this counts. it was fun to go down such a good slide after so many years. COMPLETE

3 levels of netting to clamber over. I did make it across, but I'm unsatisfied with my technique. I was carrying all my stuff, so I was afraid of change coming out of my pockets. I'm familiar with this kind of thing from when I was a kid, albeit it was at indoor adventure play places where we had ball pits and foam under it and not just mud. COMPLETE

Tarzan rope. I was confident I could do this. I was wrong. I tried many times to find some footing on the rope, which was a bit too high for me, until I decided to try jumping and straddling it with my legs. I made it about half a second before sliding off. clearly I need to work on my upper body strength. FAILURE

the last obstacle, more of just a victory lap, a roller slide. it stalled a couple times but I was eventually able to get some speed on it, and it was really fun. COMPLETE

so, 6/10 completed. I think not bad for my first obstacle course, but I recognise I need a lot of practice. it was a lot of fun though! it may feel silly, but if you're in Japan, please do an obstacle course. it's a fulfilling experience and now I want to try more!

in the provincial park there's a gruelling one that takes an hour to complete. people from all over the country come to try it. I will consider that a final boss. this summer, let's exercise more!!!

[lalalussuria]

taken (pt 3)

coming to again, i heard them talking amongst themselves. “yeah, boss called me while they were out the first time; he wanted to remind us that we only have 24 hours to break them in before we’re supposed to deliver them back to him.” i wracked my mind for a moment, who the hell was this “boss” person they were talking about? boss implies that they’re employed, do i know anyone who has enough money to pay for this sort of treatment? as i shook the grogginess from my head, attempting to clear it, the blindfold fell a few centimeters. scanning the men up and down, i realized that i vaguely recognized all but one of them, but i couldn’t place the memory. one had long, dark hair, cascading down his shoulders, drawing attention to the tattoos covering his arms. he laughed and shoved another with short blond hair and stud earrings. across from him was another man, but i couldn’t quite make out his features beyond his curly dark hair. “guess that means that we ought to get back to work.” the blond replied, turning to me. i closed my eyes, hoping none of them noticed that i had seen what they look like. “they aren’t even awake yet,” one said, “do you think we should wait?”

“nah,” footsteps approached, “maybe we can sneak in some impact play.” followed by the snap of a belt. i heard a blow landing, “fuck no, dude,” one snarled, “boss said they’re not into that. just because they’re still out doesn’t mean we can choose to not respect their limits.” i breathed a sigh of relief, maybe too loudly. “fuck, i think they’re waking up, quick, secure the blindfold!” the blond said, shoving the one with long hair. he rushed to his knees, noticing my half-open eyes. he smiled and put his finger over his lips, then straightening the blindfold.

“is the pretty whore awake?” one asked, trailing their fingers down my back, pulling their hand away just short of my ass. i half-attempted to mumble a response, but after being used like that, my throat was sore and my mind was turning to mush. “well it looks like we might have nearly broken them already” the group laughed.

“wh-what do you want from me?” i groaned, barely above a whisper. “well, love,” my hair was pulled in the direction of the voice, “someone very wealthy wants to use you and it’s our job to deliver you to them in perfect, fuckdoll-like condition.” they let go of my hair, my head falling. “by the time we’re done, we need you to be begging to be used like the perfect slut that you are.” their tone was cruel and condescending. “who’s paying you?” i asked, this time more forcefully. in response, they undid my restraints and carried me to a chair. i attempted to fight them but they were far stronger than me. they restrained my arms, then tying my legs to those of the chair.

“now i think we’ll do some endurance training, you two can take a break.” two pairs of footsteps receded followed by the closing of a door. “now that they’re gone.” the one with the long hair removed my blindfold. “hello pretty thing, are you ready to be pushed to your limits?” his eyes seemed kind; i felt as though i could trust him, despite the torture he would soon inflict upon me. i shook my head, “no, please, i’m so sore, please.” he cupped my face in his hand “i figured as much, that’s why i sent them away.” he retreated and returned with a cart that was lined with instruments. “i do need to test you though, but you can rest for a moment.” he bent and retrieved an ice pack, pressing it against my dripping cunt. i shivered in response.

“you really are the most beautiful thing, i can see why he chose you.” he trailed his fingers up my chest, lightly circling my nipple. i gasped in response. he continued to circle that one, then moving to lightly suck on the other. i moaned as he did so, leaning into his touch. he pulled away “are you too sore here, or can i continue?” i nodded “yes, please keep doing that.” as the last word left my mouth, his was soon back on my breast. he gingerly sucked, flicking his tongue over it from time to time. i continued to moan as he did so. slowly i felt it gently building up, i welcomed the sensation compared to the rough, blinding orgasms i had received that day already. as i let out a final moan, he withdrew. “good girl,” he smiled “i told them i could pull a nipples-only orgasm out of you.”

he secured my blindfold once more and his footsteps retreated. not long after, he returned, removing my blindfold and producing a bowl. “you’re a vegetarian, right? i heated up some tomato soup for you, we’ve gotta keep you strong through this.” he said, grabbing a spoonful and bringing it to my mouth. i gladly accepted the sustenance, i hadn’t even realized my hunger before now but i was starving.

finishing the final spoonful, i knew that my respite had come to an end. “okay, i know you might not have recovered yet, but we do need to get back to work.” he pulled the cart nearer, retrieving a box with a dildo attached to it “dear god, please tell me that isn’t what i think it is.” i begged. “i’m afraid so,” he responded, dropping the bottom from my chair. i’d only ever seen fucking-machines in porn; i’d never thought that i, myself, would ever have to endure that much continued stimulation. he lined the dildo up with my already dripping pussy, at least it won’t be going in dry, i thought to myself. he replaced my blindfold once more and i heard his footsteps retreating. “wait! come back! what are you doing?” i cried out. “forgive me for this.” i heard the machine below me click, followed shortly by the closing of the door.

A/N- i know this one’s a little slower and longer than the last, but hopefully you still liked it!

A/N: pt 4 cumming soon!

[yung-terps]

A stream of consciousness. Not a new realization but I check in on distanced people more than they check in on me. I think I have come up with some ideas to play around with for a new poem! A little stoked because I haven't written one in awhile. Keep accidentally hanging out with dudes who ultimately just want to have sex. The benefit of the doubt hardly ever benefits me. There was one cool dude this past week, I guess. The thing is, when they skirt around their intentions, I kind of get off on getting them to just like. Voice it aloud. At some point during the night, I learn he is moving across the damn ass country soon and take note, considering I want something long-term. Later we start to makeout and it's fun, it's whatever. I like kissing. We break away after a little bit and I suggest that we walk to the corner store. He agrees, slipping in an "after". After what? Answer the question. And he eventually did. I want to fuck you. Surprise. He didn't even finger me. It was fine. See you never. My roommate is home from a 2-month thing. I cleaned the apartment from top to bottom... all of its nooks and crannies... I hope they feel welcomed! Still some stuff I want to hang and touch-up, all easily overlooked though. They are my secrets. Things just need to look lived in now. It's all too.... untouched... even though in actuality I spent the last few hours putting my hands all over everything. Arguably the most I have in a long time. Dusting and placing and rotating. You get it though... the living room needs to be hung out in.... broken in. I'm sure the suitcases have already made the place feel less... sterilized and proper... no longer like a set. The overhead lighting in the kitchen is harsh, always has been... often takes me out of reality! I have an idea to hang these paper pyramid-like string lights that I have had for years and years. Some are beat-up but I think it would add to the space... give us more options... and it just would be cute. Before my shower I removed the stain glass lightbulb, only leaving in two small red ones. Stood there, the water nice and hot. Sat on the tub floor. Closed my eyes. Leaned forward. Listened to the music I chose. Got out, screwed the loose bulb back in. I have an ongoing joke with myself that I will find my missing hard drive in a stupid silly fucking place, coping about it an entire year later. I noticed that I had some board games that were still taped shut from when I moved. Laughed with myself about the possibilities and opened them up. I am still holding out hope but no luck this time! I may knock on my old front door one day. I kind of resent the new owners for buying my home though. And how quick it all was. Like, get fucked, but also can I please have my hard drive? I mean, if it's in there. What I did find was a pile of half-used notepad sheets for a game that hasn't been played in forever. Some of them were drawn on by people I no longer speak to. One had a doodle done by my ex-boyfriend. It's weird to think about how I have lived, like, thirteen different lives. I think I would forgive a lot of people. Or even apologize to them. I also found two 8-in-1 retractable ballpoint pens. So, like, some treasure and a lot of thoughts. I did a little bit of glueing and taping and messing around in my journal. I feel I am doing okay in a very general sense. Trying my best and keeping up. I could do better. Can't we all though? Is that a cop-out? I don't care about money, I don't know, it's just practically all my parents would argue about in front of us. I don't care as long as my shit gets paid on time. But I think I have to shift gears and thought processes because I would like to live a little more comfortably, ultimately concerning myself with it less. Gonna look over my resume. Keep going, keep busy. Try to slim down my closet. Fix my camera. Maybe it did end up working on my last trip. Do this and that. Keep on playing Tears of the Kingdom and text dudes less. There's more passion involved with the former. Used used used. Wondering. Navigating. October is almost here.

[the-stray-storyteller]

Havenpoint

Warnings : Violence, language

Prev Chap Next Chap First Chap

Taglist : @anonymousfoz@holdmyteaplease (tell me if you want to be added or removed)

Note : this chapter and any chapter after this hasn't been beta read or edited which means it will have shitty grammar, a lot of spelling errors, annoying dialogues and overall just be shitty. Also this chapter does not have much in it. It's pretty boring.

______________________________________________________________

Chapter 11 : The Game Penelope Knight

My fist connected with Kaleb’s jaw before he could hit Aidene. He stumbled back groaning in pain, still recovering from the kick he had received. He threw me a dirty look while he swayed on his feet, dizzy. Both Aidene’s and Anne’s eyes were wide with surprise. I sent them the most warm smile I could conjure. 

I owed no loyalty to the duo but life was a game and I wanted to be the side that wins. Their side would win this battle. I would make sure that their side wins this battle. 

My father had been obsessed with chess for as long as I can remember. He had a fascination for that little horse-shaped piece on the board. I had thought it had something to do with our last name and I still thought the same. He could have been obsessed with mediaeval knights but he chose chess. 

He taught me that life was a game of chess. Me against everyone else. Every move, word, and emotion was a play, a strategy. 

Aidene and Anne needed to know I was on their side for now. They didn't need to know that I had three reasons to help them. None of the reasons had anything to do with friendship. 

The two minor reasons were that Kaleb had been annoying me for the past half an hour and I didn’t want to break whatever verbal contract I had signed with Aidene.

The major one was that Kaleb knew the purple-haired girl. Moreover, it seemed like he had some dirt on her. I could use that. If I was going to work with her I needed a failsafe for me. If they tried to stab me in the back I would have a gun with me. 

“You fucking bitch!” He yelled and jumped for me. To my surprise Valentina attacked. The word ‘attack’ would be generous. She had thrown herself on Kaleb causing both of them to stumble to the ground. He pushes Valentina off him and leaps towards Aidene who was standing right in front. He grabs a fistful of her hair and pulls it down. His hand keeps her from running away. Aidene doesn’t shout. Instead, she grinds her teeth together, her eyes tearing up.

Kaleb howled in pain. Anne had joined the fight, her fingernails dug into his face. She dragged them across leaving angry red marks in its wake. Kaleb let go of Aidene, bringing his hands up to his marred face.

“Stay the fuck away from her!” Anne growled out. Kaleb ran his fingers over the cuts.

The students around us started chanting. Phones held up to record. Bets were passed around, everybody took a side to cheer on. The adrenaline running through my veins was addictive. I turned around to see Aidene with her teeth bared out, her hands clawed, and a sharp glint in her eyes. She looked feral and I swear that I heard her growl. Anne had a deadly cold look on her face, a sharpness to her calm. Valentina had brought her fists up in a meek offensive pose. 

Penelope was certain Aidene would have attacked if it weren’t for the teacher.

“What is going on here?” The crowd dispersed at the sound of the teacher’s voice. Students scrambled to get out of sight. However, the five of us were stuck under her keen gaze.

“What is going on here?” She repeated, taking in Kaleb’s injured face. 

****

The room was filled with broken furniture. A dumpyard classroom. It was dusty and the lights flickered to stay on. My eyes scanned the other three girls I was thrown in here with. There was a boy with us. Roy, I think his name was. I had no idea where the teacher dragged Kaleb off to after we all blamed the situation on him.

Miss Danvers, the teacher, pressed her lips into a thin line kicking a leg of a broken chair out of her way. I swallowed thickly, this teacher was known to play favourites and I wasn’t on her good list. Her wrinkled features were set in a permanent scowl and her movements were stiff and accurate as she walked towards us.

“This place is to be our new chemistry lab,” the teacher swiped her finger over a dusty table observing the thick layer of dust, “ As detention the five of you will be coming here to clean this place up every day after school. Spend as much time as you want over here to do so.”

“For how long?” Groaned Valentina.

“Till the day when not a speck of dust lies in this room.” I suppressed a scoff at her dramatics. 

“What about Kaleb?” Aidene asked, her tone suspicious.

“He will be mowing the lawns by himself.” With that she walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

“Why are you here? And who are you?” Aidene asked, sending Roy an inquisitive glance.

“Roy Robinson, I forgot to submit my homework for the third time this week. And you?” He said with a smile, he outstretched his hand for Aidene to shake. She ignored it.

“Can’t believe your name’s an alliteration,” she let out a small chuckle, “Aidene Rayners. Kicked somebody in the gut.” Roy gave her a nervous smile, settling himself down on an unstable chair.

“That lanky wonky chair won’t hold Robinson,” Aidene taunted. As if on cue the chair creaked loudly under Roy sending him scurrying and tripping. The purple-haired girl’s body shook with the struggle of holding her laugh in. 

I watched as Aidene struggled to get a hold of her laughter. Her eyes glistened with tears. Her laugh was fire-like. Destroying everything else and leaving only one burning feeling and presence. I couldn’t help but laugh along with her. Valentina joined in too and Roy let out nervous huffs of laughter looking at the chair with disdain. The only one who wasn’t laughing was Anne. Aidene’s eyes darted towards her, the laughter dying out of her awkwardly. Something had happened between them, I saved that information for later. 

“Let’s get started. The faster we get over with this, the better,” Rayners grabbed a broom and handed it over to Brookes, “You can start with that side darling.” She waved towards a particularly dusty patch of the room. Valentina walked over dejectedly and the rest of us started to sort through the furniture. 

I dusted in silence and I swear I could hear the walls of the school whisper to me. The whispers were soft and muttering. Against my better judgment, I listened to them. The world spiralled out of my mind. The screeching of the tables being pushed disappeared. The muttering grew louder drawing me in. I strained my ears to listen, to understand. The muttering seeped through the walls like water trickling through gaps, cold and unstoppable. I tried to make sense of them but they only became louder, demanding. They seemed like senseless words strung together, but they made sense somewhere in the back of my mind.

There was a commotion in the back, but it seemed like it was coming from underwater. It was muffled and distant. I was about to ignore it but Valentina grabbed my attention.

“Penelope!” She yelled into my ear making me flinch. I broke out of my reverie and glared back at her.  

“You okay?” Her dark onyx eyes stared at me with concern.

“Just zoned out.”  

I looked around. Aidene and Anne had retreated to a corner speaking in hushed urgent voices, their heads close together. Anne snapped back at Aidene who looked guilty but overjoyed. Roy was playing around with a broken chair leg. The room looked no different from when we started cleaning it but the sun had gone down and the sky had gone dark. How long was I trying to listen to the whispers?

“Okay, guys!” Aidene clapped her hands together as she walked towards us, “It's almost dinner and I genuinely cannot push any more tables.” I could see a sheen of sweat on her forehead. 

“Valentina, Penelope,” she threw us a glare, “both of you were no help at all.”

“I helped!” Valentina protested. 

“You gave up after carrying one chair,” Roy muttered. Aidene raised her hands, silencing all of us. I narrowed my gaze at her. When did she become the leader? 

“Guys,” Aidene groaned, “Dinner. I am hungry.” Her mouth tilted into a sharp smile, stardust sparkling in her eyes. She was excited about something. Anne was still glaring. I couldn’t help but laugh internally, both of them were good opponents. This would be a fun game. 

[gardengarchivesofdoom]

Blog #1 - Lose yourself to plants

This post will just be an introduction to the plants I have right now. I want this blog to be like a journal where I make weekly updates on the state of my plants and what's happening to them. Posts after this will most likely be way shorter, just including pictures and notes on the plants.

This year I decided to start a bit early. The weather has been great the past few weeks and it bring me in a great mood to start working on the balcony again. The store I usually buy plants from doesn't sell outside plants anymore so I had to find a new place to buy them. I did find an amazing replacement for that previous store. I'd say they're way better that the previous one. It's like half an hour by bike but it's worth it's totally worth it.

Anyway, introducing our plants of this year:

Name: Trachella Species: Trachelospermum Planted on: Match 8th 2024

Since I have a trellis I wanted another climbing plant for it. I chose her because she only needs partial sun, doesn't get too big and also because she can't handle temperatures under -10 'C so she probably won't survive the winter. I'm not sure yet if it's a good idea for me to have to potentially huge plant on my balcony that I might have to remove when it gets too big, so I'm still playing it save for now. I just hope she'll look great on that trellis!

________________________________________________________

Name: Cynthia Species: Hydrangea macrophylla Planted on: June 4th 2023

Hydrangea macrophylla are very hardy plants. Cynthia here has survived the whole winter without needing any tending to. She's the successor of another Hydrangea I had. They were the only casualty in the battle against the neighbor's cat, which I creatively called "Balcony cat", who was ravaging our once peaceful garden for months. It was their second year here but they died before the battle against Balcony Cat was resolved. Cynthia is already doing a great job following up her predecessor and I hope she'll continue to do great this year!

She might look a bit awkward with that empty space next to her, but that's because her previous plant-mate was a single-year plant. I still need to find a new plant to keep her company, but I want it to be another single year plant. I want Cynthia to grow as big as possible, so there might eventually not be enough room for two plants in the planter. I just want to be ready for that.

______________________________________________________________

Name: Cammy Species: Campanula Portenschlagiana Planted on: June 4th 2023

Cammy is the second plant returning from last year. Plants like her are usually found on mountains growing between the rocks, so it's no surprise she survived the winter easily. She has a lot of space because I hope she'll grow into it and we'll have a nice patch filling the entire planter.

There's not much history to tell on her because she's always just vibing in the background. Minding her business and doing just fine.

_____________________________________________________________

Name: Victor Species: Vinca minor "Alba" Planted on: Match 8th 2024

I picked Victor because I thought he'd look really good in the planter on the drainpipe. I think he'd look beautiful with the stems hanging from the side. But two years in a row now, every plant on the drainpipe gotten infested with aphids. I don't know if I've just gotten unlucky and an aphid just happens to get blown onto my plants or that I bought plants with aphids on them. Either way, I hope just hope that I won't have to deal with them this year and that Victor will be spared from the aphid curse.

____________________________________________________________

There's still a plant that I haven't introduced yet, but that's because I haven't planted it yet. I'll probably introduce it next update since I don't want to postpone posting this post any longer than it needs to be. I don't want to fall into the same trap I did last year.

So, see you next week!

[keefwho]

January 16 - 2024 Tuesday

10:59pm

5.5/10

This morning I took my last shower at my parents. They weren't home so I was able to blast the GDQ stream over my phone while I got clean. For breakfast all I ate was a can of spaghettios warmed up by the heater so I could produce as few dishes as possible. I made and uploaded a few avatar pics as well.

In stream I warmed up with Ena sketches again. Then I worked on the big nanachi commission. A few of them had joined to watch and were apparently in a Discord call. They were fun to have in chat. I wanted to keep streaming when I was done but I had other things to move on to. After stream I took an hour to focus on cleaning up the place now that I got hot water back. I wiped down the sink/mirror, kitchen, and fireplace. Also removed some boxes and stuff laying around and vacuumed very thoroughly. I did this instead of jerking off which I regret.

Lunch was some really good rice a roni. It's cooking time ate into my afternoon work time and instead of wait until it was done cooking, I started my work anyways. I did half of a request before it was done cooking, I ate, and then I finished that request while in Ena's server VC. Then I worked on a Hitch x Misty pic for an hour and almost finished it. I left the call to do my yoga which was hard since I missed a few days and they tend to get harder as they go on. Then I moved onto my project which is when Daisy became free. Once again I think I need to step back and start over with what I'm doing, I didn't have as much of a plan as I needed. We watched a really rough episode of Bojack tonight and then continued our pony text adventure. I found it very hard to be creative with it tonight as much as I wanted to. We did that until bedtime which I played Kingdom Hearts during. Had some frustrating battles but I got through them.

I once again put on my MarsMiner persona and it works great, it just feels easier to do what I gotta do without the complications of how I 'feel' or what I 'think'. That can be saved for the appropriate times. I don't feel like I did the best job enjoying my free time though, I still felt a need to perform. I was also very horny today since I finally have the facilities back to clean up properly but instead I did my chores and chose not to stay up late to do it. I know better than to let those kinds of feelings make decisions.

2:11am

I woke up to jerk off because I couldn't ignore it. I really gotta listen to my body more. It's only natural to be sexual. I'm always hesitant to talk about it like it's an important thing in my life because there can be so much shame in being too sexually active even though there shouldn't be. It's not even a huge thing for me, not like it is for some people I know. But still I feel like I should never talk about it or if I do, I can't treat it like it's important. In this case it was important because my body needed it and I had to interrupt my sleep for it. I should have taken care of it earlier instead of keeping it at the bottom of my priority list. This is like a self care thing for me, I gotta do this for myself.

On another note I had some crazy deep post nut shower thoughts about my life and my past and what it all means to me. Sometimes I wish I could individually talk to everyone in my life that isn't here anymore for what feels like no reason. Like all the people I feel like should still be there. It feels like there's been so many. Maybe I can talk to some of them and just be open about feeling bad about how it all went. All I really want is closure, but I also can't bank on ever getting it. Closure might mean re-adjusting to what life actually is now instead of dreaming about what it could have been. I often find myself living a different reality and it holds me back so much.

[weewookinard]

you know what??? i need to write it

you can kudo it here!

Tommy is cooking some eggs when his phone buzzes, Evan's name appearing on his screen.

he still hasn't had the courage to change his ex's name in his contacts, nor to remove the adorable photo of Evan, smiling, Tommy's reading glasses slipped backwards onto his nose.

How many times had he hoped Evan would send him a message? That he'd contact him, somehow, to remind him how stupid he'd been to leave that night?

Hours spent staring at the cell phone, waiting to see the bubbles appear, hoping to hear the sound of that stupid ringtone Evan chose for him.

But now he hesitates, stares at the device without daring to approach it. He stands there, frozen, for too long. Is roused from his stupor by the smell of burning eggs.

“Fuck.” His movements quicken as he removes the frying pan from the fire, throws it on the worktop occupied by numerous empty glasses he hasn't had the courage to clean.

Memories of the night before come flooding back. Paul had everything to please on paper. A renowned artist with big, dreamy brown eyes and a perfect ass. They'd had a drink together in a bar, a date Lucy had arranged to force him out of the house. Then they'd tried that new Italian restaurant not far from his place. Not as good as Miceli's, but less cursed.

After that, the other man offered to follow him home, and Tommy couldn't say no. The dread of the cold bed waiting for him, of the silence after a moment spent with someone who seemed to care about him. They had a few drinks, with music playing in the background to warm up the atmosphere. He thought he was ready, Tommy, and then Paul approached. Put his lips on his, tasting of bolognese and white wine. The kiss lasted only a few seconds before Tommy stepped back, hands raised to mark the parting. He had apologized before pushing the other towards the exit.

A lonely night after all, and a craving for love -for Evan.

Instead he decided to make scrambled eggs. And now his eggs are ruined.

Did Evan sense that Tommy was seeing someone else? Does he know about the meeting? Is he angry? Is he happy that Tommy is finally getting his life back? So many stupid questions follow one another as anxiety mounts. A simple text message can change his life.

But what if?

His hands finally move before his brain makes a decision, and he unlocks the phone. Opens the chat thread between himself and Evan. And frowns, puzzled.

Evan sent him a meme. In the picture, a raccoon with tear-filled eyes faces the screen. Two sentences surround the poor animal. 'I ask for snuggles, but all I get are struggles'.

The pilot isn't quite sure he understands, and rereads the words again and again to be sure of what he's looking at. Is Evan talking to the wrong person? His eyes turn to the clock. 7 a.m., Evan has probably just returned home after a long shift. Fatigue may have led him to make a mistake.

In his mind's eye, the image of an exhausted Evan sprawled on his bed, his face half buried in his pillow, makes him smile. He imagines him hanging around on his phone as usual, rereading the same Reddit threads over and over, eyes closing between words. Maybe he saw this meme and wanted to send it to Eddie, or Maddie.

Maybe he wanted to send it to someone he was flirting with? Is he seeing someone? Tommy's smile evaporates and he puts the phone down, screen facing his kitchen counter. A coffee will suffice this morning.

It's almost 10 a.m. when he arrives at Harbor, ready for a 48-hour shift. His phone is on silent and he's been holding back from opening Evan's message again all morning. But the raccoon hasn't left his mind, haunting him everywhere he looks.

Lucy quickly comes to talk to him, furious with him, repeating that he's behaved like a jerk with Paul. Tommy doesn't have the strength to correct her, to tell her about his evening with the friend who failed to make him forget the man he loves. He prefers not to say anything, to concentrate on his work.

But when he gets out of his chopper after a successful operation and opens his phone to look at the time, his heart misses a beat. On the screen appears a new notification, a new message from Evan.

He hesitates to open it, his body vibrating with anxiety. He doesn't want Evan to apologize for his mistake, he doesn't want to know who the message was intended for.

But he clicks, he can't help it.

Evan: Where are my snuggles Tommy?

He can't hold back the smile on his lips as his finger presses the call button, finally.

Don't Trust Your Tired Self

A long shift, a trying day, exhaustion overtaking Buck rendering him both unable to resist the temptation of reaching out to Tommy and not clearheaded enough to think it through. He sends an image because words are too much and not enough and just won't do, then falls into a dreamless, bone-deep sleep.

Tommy wakes to this meme/gif/screenshot/photo from Buck:

[hookingminor]

isn’t it strange? - nico hischier

a/n: this took so long to finish and once again not sure if I even like it but I will perhaps make a bonus epilogue to post later if I get inspired <3 if some things seem vague (re: family dynamics and details like siblings and parents) it’s because I wanted to make it as ambiguous and universal as possible, though this does center around a relatively close-knit family on the reader's side

word count: 12.7k (good god y’all)

warnings (18+): smut (unprotected), minor alcohol mentions, wedding antics, close family dynamics

teaser / part one

-

Things were awkward to say the least when you arrived at the large house your family had rented for the week.

It was awkward when Nico picked you up to take you to the airport, your favorite coffee and breakfast sandwich in hand when he greeted you at the door. As always, he turned up earlier than expected, leaving you to invite him in while you scrambled to collect the rest of your things.

The drive had eased some of the tension since you had nearly half an hour to chat on the ride over. A portion of the time was spent catching up on the last month though you both kept details vague, but most of the conversation centered on your family and the itinerary for the week ahead of you since you wanted Nico to be prepared.

Nico had met your immediate family many times before over the course of your relationship since he chose to spend holidays during the season with you and your family because he couldn’t make trips back to Switzerland with hockey going on all the time, but this was the first time he would be meeting your whole family: all the nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins, everyone extended. It was a week sure to be filled with intrusive questions about your relationship and future together.

By the time you had your bags checked, Nico surprised you with upgraded first class seats from the coach ones you had purchased all those months ago.

“I asked you on this trip as a favor,” you quipped when he flashed the tickets before you with an amused smile that you did not return. “You shouldn’t be spending any money on this. Or me.”

“Who said this was for you?” He smirked. “I’m used to a life of luxury on private team planes. I don’t want to spend the next four hours with a kid kicking the back of my seat and you hogging the armrest.”

The tone of his voice let you know he was joking, but you half believed the excuse.

“Plus, you’re going to have to deal with your family for the next five days. I think you deserve to have at least a few hours of comfort before all this goes down,” he added after a moment.

“You’re too kind for your own good, Nico, you know that?” You replied with an agitated huff, taking the ticket with your name from his hands. Who were you to refuse a first class ticket you knew was nonrefundable?

“You did say that was one of my most lovable qualities.”

“And sometimes most infuriating,” you grumbled. “I’m paying you back for this later.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” Both of you knew full well Nico would never accept a repayment.

The flight got delayed an hour due to air traffic, and you hated to admit you were extra thankful for the first class seats as you sat and waited for the runways to clear when suddenly Nico grabbed your right headphone to pop it into his own ear.

“What are you listening to?” He asked when the podcast started back up.

You waited a few moments and allowed the audio to play where the hosts where in the middle of describing a gruesome murder. “True crime,” you stated when they finished their story.

Nico never had the stomach for all the horror and gore you were fascinated with, though he tried valiantly to get into the same interests as you. More times than not it led to terrifying nightmares or unwanted paranoia or tenuous nausea.

“I always hated these,” Nico said, but he made no move to remove the headphone while the story continued on.

“That’s because you scare easily and get nightmares,” you chuckled. After the third time Nico woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night after watching a horror movie with you, you declared him unfit to watch any more (something Nico was eternally grateful for.) He would do anything for you, and if that meant sitting through awful movies and documentaries that scarred him, he would do it, but he was glad he didn’t have to.

“Nightmares were never so bad when I woke up next to you.” Nico let his eyes fall shut after the plane settled into a cruising altitude.

“Speak for yourself.” The corner of your mouth tugged into a smile. “You were always sweaty and clung to me like a koala.”

Nico’s own lips quirked up at the mention of his clingy bedroom tendencies but said nothing more, and within a few short minutes he was fast asleep, which was another quality you envied him for: his ability to pass out whenever and wherever.

-

You were grateful it was well into the evening by the time you made it to the rental home. The hour-long taxi ride gave you some time to unwind from the plane ride and figure out some last minute logistics before launching yourselves into a busy week. And it helped that you weren’t bombarded at the dinner you expected to be at but sadly had to miss.

Your parents greeted you at the front door, tackling you both in hugs before your father went to handle the luggage while your mother squished Nico’s cheeks and made comments about how he needed to eat more.

Nico wooed her with that dazzling smile of his that had her heart melting every time, complimenting her on her new hairstyle and giving her a big hug. Your dad clapped him on the shoulder in one of those fatherly squeezes, commending him on the past Devils season. Before you brought Nico home, your father never dared to follow New Jersey Devils hockey like any respected person would, but Nico easily converted not only your dad, but your entire family into Devils fans.

They traded some commentary on the playoffs currently going on as you entered the home before your mom showed you to the room you’d be staying in and updated you with the arrival times of your siblings the next day.

The conversation didn’t last long considering it was almost ten in the evening and they wanted to give you time to settle in. Plus, it was past their bedtimes as middle-aged adults and they were more interested in getting some sleep themselves than catching up with you right now.

“Are you sure you’re okay with being here?” You asked after your parents left, lounging on the bed while you waited for Nico to finish up in the bathroom.

“Of course I am,” he replied, flicking off the light switch before slipping under the covers. “I like your family. They always make me feel welcome.”

“That’s because everyone’s in love with you,” you chuckled. “You’re, like, every parent’s wet dream.”

Nico laughed, having heard you say some iteration of that same phrase multiple times over the years you dated. It was insane how much your parents loved Nico. Every time you brought him home, he stole the show. Your little cousins flocked to him like moths to a flame, and all the guys loved being able to discuss sports with a professional athlete even if your family wasn’t a hockey one. He had a stomach the size of an elephant and could eat his weight in food that your aunties made, and he was an even better complimenter and flirt. Your older brother adored him and your younger sister fawned over him. Hell, even the grocer at the local supermarket asked you periodically how Nico was doing when you came home to visit.

There wasn’t a single person he couldn’t win over. Both in your family and in life. He was just that perfect.

“Besides, having your mom’s cooking at least once this weekend will be worth all of this,” he added after a moment.

“You say that when you’re so clearly the favorite here.” You slid under the covers and pulled them up to your chest.

“What can I say? Moms love me.”

Everyone loves you, you thought.

“Goodnight, Nico,” was what you said instead, rolling onto your side and away from Nico. You hoped that if you didn’t have to look at him, your mind could forget that he was right next to you, but it was a fruitless attempt. Not when his body was denting the mattress just a few inches away and you could practically feel his heat radiating across the distance.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he replied while settling himself deeper into the sheets.

The situation gave you flashbacks of the end of your relationship when you were still sharing a bed but acted like you were strangers. A pit settled in your stomach at the memories of Nico coming home late and crawling into bed without so much as a goodnight kiss and where you pretended to be asleep so you didn’t have to ask him about his day.

You pushed the thoughts aside and burrowed yourself deeper into the bed. If anything, maybe you could come out of this weekend as friends. You could only hope for the best.

-

“What’s for breakfast?” You asked, entering the kitchen where your mom and dad were already bustling around cooking.

Nico followed in behind you while you peered over your mom’s shoulder at the stove where she was flipping chocolate chip pancakes. Your lips turned down in a frown, but you didn’t say anything.

Turning around, you spotted freshly cut strawberries in a bowl on the counter, and another glance in a different direction showed turkey bacon slices resting on a plate. All of the dishes were Nico’s favorites.

“Is there anything for me here?” You scoffed teasingly when you saw your dad poaching eggs in a pot just how Nico liked.

“You’re not the guest here,” your mother replied with an eye roll. “We have to be good hosts.”

“Right. It’s not like Nico’s stayed with us multiple times and knows what to expect.”

“Oh hush, you know you’ll eat it anyway,” your mom said.

“Would’ve preferred waffles,” you mutter under your breath, which earned you a light hit with the nearby dish towel.

“This is all wonderful. Thank you so much. You guys didn’t have to go to all this work,” Nico stepped behind you, pulling you back into his body before you started arguing with your mom.

“And that’s why he’s my favorite,” your mom gushed with an affectionate pat to Nico’s cheek. “Help yourself.”

You rolled your eyes at your mom’s blatant favoritism, but Nico only smiled down at you and wiggled his eyebrows in amusement. He knew your parents loved him, arguably more than they loved you, and he was by far the favorite significant other between you and your siblings.

Your mom smacked your hand when you tried to plate your food first, reprimanding you to let Nico go first, who stood grinning and on the verge of laughter at your put-out face as you waited for him to finish.

“Now you’re just being an ass,” you said, snatching some bacon from Nico’s plate because he thought it would be funny to take them all.

“Careful,” Nico whispered as he leaned in closer, “or I’ll tell your mom you’re being mean to me.”

It was too early in the morning for your stomach to be filled with butterflies at Nico’s close proximity, so you teasingly shoved him to the side to put some space between your bodies. You were only given a short reprieve before Nico joined you at the table and pressed his thighs flush against yours underneath the table.

You tried not to think about his thigh against yours or the jokes and stories he shared with your father or the way he helped himself to all the extra leftovers your mom insisted on giving him because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. And you especially tried not to think about how your heart rate sped up when Nico reached up to wipe a smudge of jam at the corner of your mouth.

Yeah, it was going to be a long day and an even longer week.

-

When you first agreed on Nico accompanying you back home, you both decided that the less time you spent lying to your family, the better. It was hard to avoid spending any time with them due to the fact that it was a family wedding, so when the opportunity came up to run some last minute wedding errands, you jumped to volunteer yours and Nico’s time.

While you loved your family, the day had been full of a lot of interacting, and tomorrow would be even more taxing when the rest of your extended family arrived. And then your brother and sister stopped by to catch up with everyone, and you were faced with another onslaught of questions about when you and Nico were finally going to settle down.

“If you’re waiting for permission, you know you already have it,” your brother had joked, clapping Nico on the shoulder with a laugh.

It didn’t help that Nico was absolutely incredible with your brother’s kids, tossing them in the air and letting them hang from his back like he was a human jungle gym. His ever-lasting energy devoted to playing with your niece and nephews only had your sister-in-law nudging you with her elbow and commenting on just how good Nico was with kids.

“He’ll be a great dad in a few years, huh?” She smirked. Laura loved Nico because she thought he was good for you and also because every time you brought him around, she always got a few hours of peace while he entertained them. “You don’t even know how excited they were in the car that they got to hang out with Uncle Nico today.”

You laughed at her comment though it lacked genuine feeling. You weren’t sure you even wanted kids in the future, but the remarks about how everyone loved Nico only stung more when you knew you didn’t have him anymore and that he wasn’t yours.

You practically had to drag him out of the house after a hectic lunch when your father asked if anyone wanted to check in on the vendors in town to make sure everything was still in order. Your family was great at asking too many questions and insinuating that they were waiting for Nico and you to get engaged yourselves, and the atmosphere was starting to become stifling.

“You okay?” Nico asked the second you stepped out the front door to take a deep breath.

A hand raised to cup your cheek before you could reply, and Nico met your eyes with a worried look.

“Yeah, sorry,” you sighed. “I just didn’t think I’d feel this bad about lying to everyone. I’m sorry you have to deal with all their dumb comments.”

“I’m okay, I promise.” Nico engulfed your face with both hands now and scanned your eyes for reassurance. “Why don’t we take our time in town? We can say something went wrong so we needed extra time to handle it and we can get dinner or something after so you can have some time to breathe.”

Nico honestly didn’t mind the inquisition from your family. Over the years, he’d become used to their fun-loving and sometimes invasive nature, but he knew they meant it all with love. They cared about both of you deeply, and it was endearing to hear that they still did. It warmed his heart and filled his body with such an intense longing that, for brief moments, Nico would forget you were actually broken up.

Those moments were usually when he caught you laughing with your sister at something and you’d glance over at him for a split second before turning away. Or when your niece would quietly whisper to him to ask if he could braid her hair, to which Laura would reprimand her for bothering Nico but he gladly entertained her anyway. Or when your mother took him to the side to ask about when they’d be flying back for Thanksgiving, and Nico’s initial reaction was to give her an answer instead of deflecting.

He especially felt it now with his hands warming your face as he watched your brows draw together in anxiousness, and Nico knew he needed to get you away from the house as quickly as possible.

“Yeah, okay, let’s do that please.” Your shoulders release some tension on your next breath to calm yourself down.

The drive into town settled your nerves the further you got from the home, and you were feeling more at ease when you rolled up to the flower shop your cousin enlisted for the wedding.

The florist was a lovely elderly woman who gushed over Nico immediately.

“The girls in your family have some real luck with gorgeous men, huh?” She blushed when Nico shook her hand, instantly feeling the charm of a handsome young man.

She ushered you to the back where she had started assembling the table pieces, blue iris and white hyacinth bundles scattered across her workspace. “My daughter will be in tomorrow to help me finish the rest, and we will be there early Saturday morning to drop them off and help set up if you need it.”

“They’re gorgeous,” you complimented, taking one complete bundle in your hands to inspect it. “Really, they’re incredible.”

“Oh, thank you, sweetheart,” the woman smiled, evidently proud of her own work.

She showed you around the rest of her shop after you were sufficiently confident that the flowers were taken care of, delving into the history of the store that she opened thirty years ago with her husband.

A phone call from the dress store had you excusing yourself and stepping outside while Nico finished up inside, and you thanked the lady again for her help.

Nico joined you on the sidewalk after a few minutes, the bell above the door alerting you of his presence as he bid farewell to the florist with a bright smile. A singular red tulip stem was between his fingers, and he held it out for you to take like it was a precious present.

“Ruth thought red seemed like your color,” Nico said. “I agreed.”

“Ruth knows me well.” You took the flower from Nico and brought it to your nose to sniff it.

Nico cleared his throat. “So what’s next on the list?”

“The tailor said the dress would be another hour before we can pick it up, so we should probably check on the cake and catering.”

You ran all over town with Nico, popping from shop to shop and checking on all the orders on your list.

The caterer ran through the list with you three times when you arrived, double and triple checking the vegetarian and special diet options and numbers while simultaneously having you try a few samplers to make sure everything was how it should be: a task that Nico was all too willing to participate in.

The cake decorator had barely begun baking the cake by the time you got there, so there wasn’t much to check in with, though she also had no concerns at the time and even sent you home with a complimentary slice for making the trip out there.

“Last thing on the list is picking up the dress. Emily said she had her final fitting earlier this week, so it should all be good to go.”

It was still early in the day by the time your cousin’s dress was tucked safely in the backseat of the car, and Nico could feel your hesitation behind the wheel when you realized it was time to head back.

“Hey, are you hungry? I’m starving,” Nico said. “We should get something to eat before we go home.”

“My mom is probably making dinner as we speak,” you chuckled, not opposed to the idea of skipping out on family time.

“She’s got the grandkids and your siblings. We’ll just say it was my idea and that we wanted some alone time. You know she’ll never get mad at me.” His lips pulled into a smirk. It was true. Nico walked on water in your mother’s eyes.

“Well, when you put it like that…” A smile slowly spread across your face. “Should we play a round of restaurant roulette?”

“You know me so well,” Nico laughed, already pulling up the list of nearby restaurants into his google search.

Restaurant roulette was something you often played when you were dating and couldn’t decide on a place to eat. It was your own way of discovering new restaurants and also how you made decisions when you were both too stubborn to agree.

Back in New Jersey, you had a list of all local restaurants and would randomly shuffle them and draw a number to decide which one you’d be going to, but in a town you weren’t familiar with, a random google search would have to do.

Nico didn’t show you the phone, viewing the list of places on his own and counting the total number of restaurants before asking you to pick a number.

“One through eleven, which will it be?” He asked.

“Four,” you answered.

Nico smiled wickedly before punching in the address.

The surprised restaurant turned out to be a Western country bar like one straight out of the movies. It was an odd choice of restaurant to be in a town that was most certainly not a small country town, but like every restaurant roulette choice, you embraced it with open arms.

You embraced the grizzly men sitting at the bar drinking glasses of dark liquor and the old, bearded bar owner serving the drinks. You even embraced the sticky booth table with the flickering light above.

The waitress was definitely a high schooler who would rather be doing anything than serving the two of you on a Thursday evening, but you figured she had no choice but to be there if you were going by the way she called the bar owner ‘grandpa’.

The menu, which was surprisingly long given the small establishment, had everything from fried appetizers to salads to steak. “There’s no way they can be doing all of this right,” you commented as you perused. It was nearly two full pages just of food and another full page of drink options.

“What do you think are the safest options?” Nico asked.

“Not the grilled salmon… or any fish option for that matter,” you replied.

When the teenager came back, you stuck to a simple burger while Nico chose a chicken sandwich, hoping that the bar at least had good classic bar food and handed the menus back.

Nico took your mind off your family while you waited for your meals, delving into updates on his family and his plans to go back home in the next couple of weeks.

“Is everyone doing okay? Your mom and dad? Siblings?” You asked.

It dawned on you then that you hadn’t spent much, if any, of your time together this week asking Nico about his life and his family. You’d been so worried and focused on your own issues that you neglected to check in with him.

Whereas Nico had met your family multiple times, you only had the privilege of meeting his when you traveled to Switzerland with him in the summer, and even then it was difficult for everyone to be together with his siblings both involved in sports. There was the rare event of his parents spending a week in New Jersey just last year, and that was the last time you’d heard news about them now that you thought about it.

“Everyone is good,” he answered. “They ask about you sometimes.”

Nico’s family liked you just fine from what you could tell and from what he would tell you. They weren’t given as many opportunities to hover and ask questions like your family did with Nico, but they were always welcoming when you visited. You had a good enough relationship where you would talk to his sister and mother separately on your own every now and then, though that had slowly fizzled out along with yours and Nico’s relationship.

For the most part, though, they only had Nico’s word to go off of when they developed their opinions on you, and Nico never had anything bad to say about you. Even when you were fighting or didn’t see eye to eye, Nico would never bad mouth you behind your back.

The waitress arrived with your dishes in record speed—a perk in ordering in a place that rarely seemed busy—and you were pleasantly surprised by the quality of them.

“I take back every bad thing I said about this place. I would definitely get this burger again,” you announced, polishing off the crisp fries on the side.

“I think this might be the best chicken I’ve ever had in my life.” Nico all but moaned around his sandwich, sending zings through your body at the melodious sound.

“How long are you going to be back home for?” You coughed awkwardly, trying your best to ignore the heat flooding your body by turning the conversation to something mundane.

“Till practice starts up again, hopefully,” he replies, dousing his own fries in an abundance of ketchup. “I already postponed going back because of this new trainer I’m seeing, so I want to stay there as long as possible.”

“You make me feel like a bad daughter because I’m here wishing this weekend was over so I can get back to Jersey,” you chuckled.

“Yeah, but your parents are coming to visit you in a couple months anyway.” His remembrance of your parents annual NJ trip just to see you stirred something inside you. “I get tired of my family when I’m home too. I think everyone does. Too much of a good thing sometimes, you know?”

Boy, did you. There was always a pang of guilt every time you thought about how you didn’t want to be around your family that made you feel like a disgrace or unworthy, so it was nice to hear you weren’t the only one who felt that way.

“Thanks for saying I’m not a bad person,” you said after a moment. “Even though this entire week has been based on lies.”

“But you’re lying because you care about them, so the pros outweigh the cons here.” You weren’t quite sure if you believed that, but Nico always said everything with conviction that you couldn’t help but mooch off his confidence.

“Yeah, maybe.” Perhaps the pros did outweigh the cons in this case, not to mention the lying saved you from unnecessary pity and coddling which was fun for no one, but that small bit of guilt still lingered in your chest despite all your attempts to settle it.

-

With a terrible turn of events, you woke up the next morning with a painful migraine. The few rays of light coming in through the blinds had you turning your face into the pillow and squeezing your eyes shut.

It was a rare occasion that you were overcome with debilitating migraines like this, but when they happened you knew you wouldn’t be moving for the next few hours at the very least. At most, you’d be out the entire day if you didn’t follow the very specific ritual and medications that you finally figured out to cure the headache.

The only bad part about following your migraine ritual is that it was hard to get yourself up to get the things you needed when your head was in splitting pain.

Curling the pillow around your head to block out the sounds of clanging pots in the kitchen, presumably your mother making breakfast, you let out a muffled moan at the overstimulation.

The moan had Nico stirring awake beside you.

Your migraines weren’t so rare an occurrence that Nico couldn’t immediately pick up on what was going on, but it had been months since your last migraine as far as Nico could remember.

“Oh no,” Nico said quietly, rubbing a hand across your back. “Is it your head?”

You let out another pained moan as an affirmation.

Your body was curled into a fetal position and burrowed under the sheets with the pillow wrapped around your head, and Nico kept his hand running softly over the fabric of your shirt in gentle circles for a few moments while he woke himself up and threw himself into mom mode.

“Wait here a minute, I’ll get you a towel for your eyes.”

The sound of curtains rattling against the rod let you know Nico was trying his best to close them despite the fact they wouldn’t completely block out the light. Then he shuffled off to the bathroom to find a washcloth to soak in ice cold water before coming back to you.

“Roll over, honey,” Nico instructed quietly, making sure to keep his voice as low as possible so as to not irritate your migraine further.

With your eyes still pinched shut, you rolled onto your back, and Nico placed the cold towel over your eyes.

“You don’t have any of your pills or stuff here, do you?” He asked, stroking your leg through the blankets.

“No,” you croaked out. “I need my ginger ale.”

“I’ll make a run to the store and get your things, okay? Think you can hang out for an hour?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“I guess not.”

“Then drive fast, please.”

Your mother didn’t blink twice when Nico asked if he could borrow a car to drive to the nearest pharmacy to gather your migraine medication and items you needed. She was mildly worried about your condition since you planned on having family over for a barbecue in the afternoon, but she also knew the best way to cure your migraines was to get you the ingredients you needed.

“Would you mind making her a cup of coffee while I’m gone? Be sure to give it to her with a glass of water too, and she’ll ask for cream and sugar but don’t give her any because she needs black coffee for it to actually help her.” The instructions fell from Nico’s mouth in a hurry, and he shocked himself when he realized that he still knew this small tidbit of you. Knowing you was like riding a bike, Nico thought. He didn’t think he’d be able to forget you if he tried.

Your mom’s eyes sparkled with adoration at Nico’s order. “Should I make her any food?” She was half asking because she did want to help you if she could, but the other half of her just wanted to see what Nico would reply.

He didn’t disappoint. “Not now, no. She always takes some buttered toast with her pills and ginger ale, but I have to go and get that stuff first. I don’t need to get any bread, do I?”

Your mother shook her head, and suddenly Nico felt sheepish. Which he shouldn’t have since your family still believed you were dating, but in all the family events you took him to, he didn’t think he’d ever shown so much affection for you then than he did just now.

“You better get going,” your mother said, smiling at the blush slowly creeping across Nico’s cheeks.

The trip into town and back took forty-five minutes since Nico sped as much as he could without raising suspicion and enlisted the help of a teenage clerk to show him where everything was so he didn’t waste any time looking.

He had everything you needed: cold pack for your head, pills for the migraine, eye mask to block out the light, ginger ale for whatever magical purpose it worked on you when you were sick, and the few obscure snacks you absolutely needed to eat when the headaches hit. Some of your rituals were weird and Nico didn’t think they really helped in any medical sense, but he also knew that if you skipped even one step you’d be out for the entire day.

You hadn’t moved an inch since Nico left, and he found you in the same position with your cold towel no longer cold. The coffee cup was nearly empty on the nightstand, which was the best Nico could usually get out of you since you detested plain black coffee.

“You didn’t drink any water,” Nico noticed and tutted his disapproval while he unloaded the rations from the grocery bag.

You grunted your own disapproval as Nico divided up the proper amount of pills for you to take. He placed the pills in one hand and the glass of water in the other hand, and you took them gingerly, moving as little as possible to swallow them.

“Toast time,” you whimpered.

“I’ll go make it in a minute,” Nico said. He eased the towel from your face and patted your skin dry before sliding the eye mask over your head and then the cold pack on your forehead.

Things started to look up after you blindly ate your toast that you washed down with a glass of ginger ale when Nico gently maneuvered your body until your head was in his lap so he could massage your throbbing temples.

“You don’t have to stay here. You should go help my parents get ready for the barbecue later,” you said. “I’ll probably end up taking a nap soon anyway.” As good as the massage felt, it wasn’t Nico’s responsibility to care for you anymore, and you already felt bad enough for everything he’s done for you this trip.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind,” Nico replied, sending a flurry of butterflies through your stomach.

“Yes, I feel bad enough already. Please go do something more fun than this,” you groaned and attempted to push him off the bed, though with your depleted strength it was a gentle nudge at best.

Nico didn’t put up much of a fight after that, knowing you well enough to understand that you meant what you said and also needed to be alone to recover. It only took a few minutes after that for you to fall back into a dreamless sleep, hoping that when you woke up that this migraine from hell would be gone.

-

Even after years of bringing Nico around, it still baffled you how well he fit into your family. It baffled you in general just how well-liked he was by everyone.

After sleeping off the migraine and chugging another glass of water with pills, you managed to peel yourself from bed to join your family out back. You kept on a pair of dark sunglasses as an extra precaution, and even with the shades shielding your face, you still managed to lock eyes with Nico the minute you stepped outside to greet your mother.

In a motherly fashion, she patted your cheeks in her hands and checked for any sign of distress on your face before declaring you were well enough to fetch more fruit from the kitchen. Across the yard stood Nico, who was currently playing goalie for your tiny cousins’ soccer game, and he flashed you a bright smile at the eye roll intended for your mother.

After grabbing another bowl of strawberries for the patio table, you strode across the grass to check in with your ‘boyfriend.’

“Auntie!” Your niece crashed into your legs before you got within ten feet of Nico.

“Hey, bug.” You scooped her up in your arms and continued on your path.

“Are you going to play with us?” She asked hopefully, batting those long lashes she got from her mother.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to embarrass Nico by scoring too many goals on him,” you replied, causing her to erupt in a fit of giggles.

“I’ve already scored five on him!” She held up all five fingers right in front of your face.

“She’s on the way to the Women’s National Team, I’m telling you,” Nico confirmed from the goalpost. “You sure you don’t wanna take a shot?” He asked. Then he dove dramatically to the side on a shot by another cousin of yours, easily letting the ball through his side.

There was a cocky smirk on his face, put there to intentionally rile you up as he added an extra eyebrow wiggle. And if it weren’t for the cheers and screams of six kids under the age of ten yelling for you to do it, you would’ve passed. But you were nothing if not competitive and easily swayed.

You set your niece back on the ground and one of the kids kicked the ball over to you. You’d played these silly backyard games with your family in the past and with Nico, and you knew enough about how he played hockey to know he preferred his left side over his right.

By no means were you a soccer superstar, especially compared to Nico who played two-touch with the team before every game, so you banked on him acting predictably.

“I’m not going easy on you,” he said as you dribbled the ball in front of the goal.

“When have you ever?” You quipped with a smirk of your own.

He bent his knees and got into position, which was a funny image considering the goal wasn’t all that big to begin with. You kicked the ball between your feet a few times to get a feel for it before you took off towards him.

His eyes zeroed in on the ball, intently tracking its movements as you went in on the right side. Your foot reared back to kick before you passed it to the left, a move Nico expected and followed easily. At the last second, right when he committed for the dive as your leg swung back, you spun around and kicked the ball back to the right.

With Nico on the ground, you let out a victorious laugh, taking your sweet time in squaring yourself up to take the shot into the open goal.

Choruses of cheers sounded behind you, both the kids and adults from the patio chiming in as you raised your arms in celebration. Nico laughed from his position on the grass, sitting on his ass with arms resting on bent knees.

“You thought I’d go for your weak side, huh?” You asked, strolling over to his hunched figure.

“Nice shot,” he said, rubbing his hands off of dirt.

You extended a hand towards Nico to pull him up, but you underestimated Nico’s pettiness and sore loser attitude because the next thing you knew you were on the grass too and half rolled under Nico’s body.

“Sore loser,” you laughed underneath him.

Nico’s smile was almost as bright as the sun shining above him, illuminating him in a golden halo that had your breath catching in your throat. “You’re a sore winner,” he remarked, poking your side.

The sweet moment only lasted a second longer before your nephew was jumping on both of you, inserting himself in the middle and effectively starting a dogpile of tiny children. One by one they tackled you until Nico was completely blocked from your view, replaced by cherub cheeks and sweat.

“Okay, okay, I think that’s enough for now,” Nico’s voice sounded from above you somewhere, and you got a brief peek of your cousin hanging from his back like a monkey.

Gently, he moved the kids to the side and off of you all while balancing the kid clinging to his shoulders until he could extend a hand to you.

Your cousin jumped off when Nico bent down to help you up, steadying you with both hands while you pushed to your feet. Fingers picked at pieces of grass and leaves sticking out your hair, and you brushed off the dirt dusting Nico’s shirt.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked, removing a smudge from your cheek with his thumb.

Summer always looked good on Nico. The sun did wonders to tan Nico’s skin and always made his brown hair look lighter, and when the light caught his eyes they resembled melted honey.

You cleared your throat and stepped out of his hold. “Much better. Thanks again for everything this morning,” you said. “I’m going to get some water.”

It had been so long since you had Nico’s hands on you, or his attention for that matter, and you momentarily forgot how intoxicating it was to be near him: to have his scent surrounding you, to have his arms around you, to have his eyes on you and looking at you like that. It messed with your head.

“You and Nico are so adorable,” an aunt commented while you helped yourself to a glass of water.

“Thanks,” you replied with a tight smile.

“And he’s so good with kids,” another aunt chimed in.

Nico had started a game of keep away with the kids, acting as the monkey in the middle that they were trying to keep the ball from. “Yeah, he is,” you said, your tone genuine.

More comments about Nico’s suitability came into the conversation, but you pushed them out. It was getting easier with the passing days to ignore them and all their comments because even if you weren’t together anymore, they were all true. Nico was a good person and he did treat you well before everything fell apart. He was good with kids and caring and compassionate. Hell, he’d agreed to this weekend knowing the stress it would put on him, but he did it because he was inherently good.

But damn was it going to suck breaking the news to them in a few months.

-

Emily held the latter still while you stood on the highest rung, hooking the string lights along the wooden beams across the ceiling and looping them intricately per your cousin’s instructions.

“You can do this yourself, you know,” you huffed after her third ‘no, not like that’ order.

“I’m the bride. What I say goes, remember?” She smiled sweetly below you. “Besides, you’ll be the one calling the shots soon enough when it’s your turn. You can get your revenge then.”

The ladder step slips out from underneath your right foot, and you go stumbling downwards. Emily gasps below you while you scramble to find purchase on the metal rungs, clinging your arms around the side and catching yourself on the third step.

“Oh god. Are you okay?” Emily asked, coming to steady you with her hands after you stopped moving.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you grunted. There was probably going to be a bruise on your thigh after this ordeal.

“What’s wrong? Did I say something?” Emily questioned. She paused for a moment then gasped. “Oh my god. Did Nico bring up marriage or something?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “No. Not exactly.”

Confusion settled over her face. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” you said quickly and pulled yourself up slowly. “Do you wanna hand me the other end of the string lights?”

“What’s going on, Y/N?” Emily held the lights firmly. “Is something wrong with you and Nico?”

You hesitated, biting your lip in contemplation while she waited for a response.

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

And maybe it was the soft tone of her voice or the concerned look in her eyes, or maybe it was the combination of an exhausting week of lies and deceit taking its toll on you, but you broke at her words.

“Nico and I broke up,” you replied, slowly climbing back down until you were on solid ground.

“Broke up when? When did you guys get back together?” She asked.

“Broke up almost two months ago,” you answered. “We didn’t get back together.”

It took Emily a minute to process your words, her mouth opening to respond before shutting again. Her eyebrows drew further together and she crossed her arms. “What do you mean you didn’t get back together? What’s he doing here then?”

“I asked him to come back with me as a favor,” you said sheepishly, averting her gaze.

“Oh, honey,” she cooed softly. Grabbing your hands, she led you over to one of the dinner tables set up for the wedding and sat you down. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Everyone loves him,” you scoffed. “I already told everyone he was coming, and it’s not like I can fake a hockey emergency in the middle of the summer. I didn’t want to take any attention away from you with everyone pitying me.”

“Why’d you break up? Did he do something stupid?” Her eyes turned sharp. “Do I need to kill him for you? What did he do?”

“Nothing,” you said. Her eyes narrowed in challenge. “Promise.”

“If it was nothing then why’d you break up?”

“Honestly? I don’t know,” you sighed. “It was like we fell apart, I guess. I don’t know. We just stopped caring about each other’s lives. He stopped calling when he was away from home, and I stopped waiting up for him at night. We stopped going on dates and making time for us. It was like the spark died and we didn’t know what we were doing together anymore.”

“And he still came back? It doesn’t sound like he stopped caring about you if he did that.”

“He’s a good guy. You know him.”

“I do know Nico, and I know he’s a terrible liar. I haven’t seen him upset or uncomfortable once this week being with you. I wouldn’t have even been able to tell you two weren’t still in love.”

“Well, he loves you guys.”

“He loves us because we’re your family,” she pointed out. “What about you? Do you still care about him?”

“Of course I do.” There was no hesitation in your answer. “It’s just—”

“Weird.” You both said at the same time.

“You know, when David and I took a break, I thought we would never get back together. I was twenty and thought I had my whole life ahead of me. And looking back, the space was good for us. I don’t think we would still be together now if we hadn’t taken that year apart and figured some stuff out about ourselves,” she confessed. “You’re young, and sometimes you need time apart from someone to discover what you truly want.”

“This week with Nico has been so confusing,” you admitted. “It’s like he’s the perfect boyfriend from when we first started dating. He took care of me the other day when I got a migraine and helps my mom cook dinner and remembers small things about me. He even went to town with me to run all your dumb wedding errands and didn’t complain. The way he’s been acting this week makes me question why we even broke up in the first place.”

She hummed quietly beside you.

“What’s that look for?” You asked.

“What look?” She smirked.

“Just say what you’re thinking, Em.” You rolled your eyes. “I know you’re dying to give advice.”

“It’s not my place to tell you what to do,” Emily started cautiously, “but I do think he still cares about you.”

“But do you think Nico’s it for me?” You played with the hem of your shirt, pulling at a loose thread.

She shrugged. “Who’s to say? I’d like to think so because I love him, but I also love him for you. I’ve never seen you light up like you do when you’re around him, and he’s always looking at you like you’re the North Star; always somehow knowing exactly where you’re at in a crowded room and always gravitating towards you whether or not he realizes it. Even now he still looks at you like that,” she remarked. “If you guys find your way back to each other, it was meant to be. And if you don’t, he’s not the end of your world. Either way you’re going to be okay. I’m sorry you felt like you had to lie to everyone this week.”

It was your turn to shrug. “It hasn’t been the worst, I guess. Definitely better than dodging everyone’s ‘so what happened?’ questions. Knowing dad, he’d probably lie and say he never liked Nico to make me feel better even though I’m sure he would date Nico himself if he could.”

Emily laughed at that, nodding along to agree with your statement. “If it gets too much, feel free to dip out tomorrow whenever you want. I know everyone can be a lot sometimes.”

You squeezed her hand in acknowledgement. “Thanks, Em. We’ll be fine though. Just two more days, right?”

-

Later that evening everyone had gathered in the barn reserved for the reception, the one you helped set up earlier that day with your family. Save for the tablecloths and centerpieces, everything was in place and ready for the big day tomorrow.

The rehearsal dinner consisted of just your close family for tonight and gave both David and Emily’s side time to mingle and get to know each other before the eventual ceremony while also thanking everyone for their help in planning and setting up for the wedding.

Once the best man and maid of honor speeches were done and everyone had eaten and the rehearsal dinner was finished, more drinks started flowing and a few more impromptu speeches were given. They were nothing scripted or long, mostly just family members extending their congratulations to the happy couple, but you still weren’t prepared by the time the microphone made its way to you.

Nico patted your thigh encouragingly as you stood up.

“Emily was my best friend growing up. She snuck me desserts from the kitchen when I was a kid and taught me how to tie my shoes. She even took me shopping for my first thong when I was in high school and was too scared to ask my mother.” Everyone chuckled while your mom shook her head at you. “She was always someone I looked up to and aspired to be: a successful career woman and a loving partner.”

“I’ve known David since the first time I caught them kissing in the driveway when he dropped her off at Thanksgiving, and Emily gave me five dollars to promise not to mention anything to the family. I was thirteen,” you said. “And throughout the years, I got to watch them grow as individuals and as a couple, and I couldn’t imagine a better man for my cousin. Even when they broke up in college, Emily always told me she’d marry him, and she was right.”

“I’ve been so blessed to grow up with incredible role models and literal couple goals, and everything I could hope to have in a relationship one day is what they have. So congratulations guys, I love you both.”

You felt unexpectedly uncomfortable when your speech concluded, heat rising to every surface of your body as you collapsed back into your seat. Nico’s hand immediately reached out for yours, squeezing reassuringly as the next person took the mic from you. You were scared to meet Nico’s eyes, opting to take a large drink of your champagne before casting him a sidelong glance.

His eyes were soft and full of emotion, a tight smile on his lips as he squeezed your hand again. You okay? His face asked silently, concern etched across his features.

Not in the slightest, you thought, but you managed to send him a tight nod anyway.

“Nice season this year, by the way, Nico,” your aunt gushed after the final speech ended.

You knew it was only a matter of time before someone brought up hockey as it was a popular topic around your professional athlete boyfriend. As far as you knew growing up, your family didn’t even like hockey and two years later they were experts in all things Devils. Well, all things Devils past 2015. Your parents had even called Nico when he was promoted to captain to tell him congratulations.

“You guys are definitely heading in the right direction,” your uncle chimed in.

“Thanks.” Nico nodded his appreciation. “We still have a long way to go, but we just take it one day at a time.”

“Heartbreaking way to end the season, though. Sorry about that,” your aunt sympathized with a frown.

She was referring to all his injuries, which had remedied themselves just in time for the end of the season to roll around, but sadly it wasn’t enough for them to get into a playoff position.

“Not as heartbreaking as Y/N’s year though,” your mom said, causing you to straighten your  spine in defense.

“Damned West Coasters,” your dad huffed. “If they didn’t want my baby, they don’t deserve her.”

Nico sent you a sideways glance, a question in his eyes that he didn’t voice because if there was anything Nico learned in the last few years, it was how to read your social cues. So he played along with the family until he could corner you later.

“Yeah, it was a shame.” He took your hand comfortingly, giving it a reassuring squeeze before bringing it to his own lap.

Thankfully, the conversation didn’t linger on you much longer before your uncle was launching into a different story about something completely unrelated like the annoying neighbor he had that didn’t know how to properly trim hedges or understand property lines.

Nico’s gaze shot back to you briefly, one that you met with a sheepish expression and you understood what he was saying immediately.

We’re not done discussing this.

-

“You should’ve told me.” Nico’s soft voice jolted you back to reality, disturbing the silent night you were taking comfort in.

You escaped the party as quickly as you could to take a breather outside, finding solace in the empty patio porch out back while the party continued on inside.

“What difference would it have made?” You chuckled humorlessly.

A glance over your shoulder revealed Nico standing in the side exit, the door shut behind him and secluding you from the party. His hands were in his pockets as he leaned casually against the wood, tie undone around his neck and hair disheveled.

“It wouldn’t have changed anything either way.” You mindlessly drummed your fingertips on the railing.

The back porch overlooked nothing but vast, empty land, but the real sight you were here for were the stars. In the city, the stars were so hard to see sometimes, but out here in the country they lit up the sky like a million tiny fireflies.

“Maybe not,” he shrugged, pushing off the side to walk over to you. “That doesn’t mean you should’ve gone through it alone.”

He came to a stop next to you at the rail, mimicking your stance identically. “I didn’t even know you wanted to do all that, and I’m not even sure I fully know now what it is you wanted. You never mentioned it to me.”

It was your turn to shrug now. “I didn’t know either,” you said quietly. By the end of your relationship, it wasn’t like you and Nico talked much about what was going on in your personal lives. “Besides, I didn’t think I’d get into the program, and I didn’t. It was some respected company in California that would’ve taken up six months of my time. There was no point in getting anyone’s hopes up. I only told my mom because she always bothers me for information and telling her about the partnership seemed safer than talking about our failing relationship.”

“When did you find out?”

“Mid-April.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Even when we had all our shit going on I still cared,” he questioned.

“Honestly?”

“Always.”

“I didn’t want to bother you,” you admitted. “I knew you had your own shit going on with the team and injuries, and I didn’t want to add to your stress. It’s not like we were close at the end. It didn’t seem fair to dump my shit on you too.”

You fiddled with a piece of some chipped paint. “And I was embarrassed,” you added. “I put in all that hard work in my application for nothing. They didn’t want me. I was disappointed in myself.”

“Oh, honey,” Nico said. With one movement he took your fidgeting hand within yours.

You still refused to meet his eyes, ashamed of the tears that began welling there. It had been three months since the rejection email came in, and you thought you were over it. You really did.

Nico shifted your body to face his, bracketing you in between him and the railing. One hand tilted your chin up to meet his gaze while the other held your waist comfortingly. Those butter soft eyes of his only made the tears threaten to spill over. This is exactly why you didn’t tell him. You couldn’t handle the pity.

“And now you feel sorry for me.” You let your head fall forward to his chest in defeat.

“I feel sorry you went through that all alone.” He stroked your neck gently. “Had you told me, I would’ve said you’re not a disappointment and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. From what I heard it was highly prestigious and selective. To be in the final round is an achievement itself. And there’s always next year, right? Other programs? You’re not a disappointment.”

They were words you needed to hear but hated to admit it. It’s one thing when your parents told you ‘oh, well you did your best sweetheart’ because they were obligated to support you, but it was another thing entirely when the love of your life was comforting you.

“Thanks,” you croaked, lifting your head slowly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I’m sorry I was a shitty boyfriend and that you felt like you couldn’t tell me,” he apologized.

“I’m sorry I was a shitty girlfriend,” you said. “I should’ve put in more effort to fix us.”

“Hey, we were both to blame.” His thumb ran over your cheek in soothing circles. “I miss you though, you know?”

“Yeah,” you sighed wistfully, knowing the feeling well. “I do know.”

“We weren’t so bad together though, were we?”

“No, but we weren’t great either, Nico,” you chuckled. “Remember all the late nights and unread texts and missed dates?”

“I try to remember all the vacations and post-game celebrations and midday movie marathons.” He smiled weakly.

“It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t all clouds and thunderstorms either.” His index finger tilted your chin up just the slightest. “Would it be bad of me to say I wanted to kiss you right now? You looked really pretty tonight, and I don’t know if I told you that.”

“Yes.” It came out breathy and didn’t help your case in trying to dissuade him, but you made no indication to move away from him either way.

The telling smirk on his face said he knew what you were thinking. You wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss you. So you did.

Damn the consequences that would come from kissing your ex that was pretending to still be your boyfriend, he looked too good in his dress pants and baby blue button up with the top two buttons undone, giving you the slightest peek of his chain underneath. You grabbed the back of his neck with your hand and crushed your lips to his.

It was full of passion and urgency, both of you making up for the two months apart and overcome with the emotions the wedding atmosphere brought out.

Nico deepened the kiss with a slide of his tongue into your mouth, claiming you with the force of a man possessed by need. Hands dropped to squeeze your ass. “It’s probably even worse if I suggested we get out of here, huh?”

“Terrible idea,” you confirmed, taking a moment to catch your breath before going in for another kiss. “Let’s go now before someone comes looking for us.”

The short drive back to the rental house was a blur with Nico speeding along the back roads to get home as quickly as possible just in case any of your family members decided to check out of the party early.

You shuffled to your shared room in the dark, bumping into the wall nearly three times on the way there, and locked the door with a click behind you. Walking Nico backwards, you knocked him onto the bed and clambered on top of him in a frenzy while working your fingers on the rest of his buttons.

His hand guided your mouth back to his as you worked on his shirt, shoving it down his arms after untucking it from his pants and throwing it to the side carelessly. The hem of your dress rode up your thighs as you straddled Nico’s lap, shamelessly grinding yourself along the bulge of his pants to pull a pained groan from him.

“We should probably talk about this,” Nico managed to grit out, eyes casting upwards towards the ceiling in agony.

“We can talk later,” you said, tugging the rest of your dress up over your hips to give you unrestricted access to rub your barely covered pussy against him. “I need you so bad.”

Nico was hard as granite under you, and you watched him visibly gulp as he considered his options. The more logical part of his brain knew you should discuss sleeping together before doing it and the repercussions it would have on your relationship, but the reckless part of his brain couldn’t get over how beautiful you looked above him and how good you felt on him.

Future Nico could deal with the fallout. Present Nico needed to be inside you before he combusted.

You raised an eyebrow in question, waiting for his go-ahead.

“Fuck, okay. We’ll talk later.” Your hands immediately went to his belt buckle and zipper. “You’re still on birth control, right?”

You nodded your response, taking his cock out of his pants and giving it a couple tentative squeezes. Nico gripped your hips tightly as he released a loud moan, and you gave him another leisurely pump before rising above him, shoving your panties to the side, and lining him up with your entrance.

Nico guided you onto his length until he was seated to the hilt and your thighs made contact with his. You palmed his shoulders as pleasure rang through your body.

Fingertips dug into your ass when you tried to move. “Give me a second.” His voice was raspy and breathless. “It’s been a couple months, and fuck, you’re tight.”

You tried not to think about him not having sex in a couple of months and the implication that he probably hadn’t fucked anyone since you, but your walls reflexively clenched around him at his words.

Instead, you busied yourself with another kiss, tangling your fingers in his soft locks and taking his slack mouth in yours.

You waited for Nico to shift beneath you to let you know he was ready before rolling your hips forward and off his cock just to sink back down when you rocked back. Synchronous moans left both of you at the drag of Nico’s cock along your walls, and his hands found their home on your hips to help move you the way he wanted.

It’d been so long for you, since you and Nico broke up, that every slide of his cock into you had you spiraling towards that edge in record time; especially when one hand grasped your tit and worked your nipple between two fingers and the other hand fell to stroke your clit in determined circles.

“You close?” He asked, lips brushing against your ear when you leaned down for another kiss.

You gave him a tight nod, eyes falling shut while you focused on the exquisite feeling of him filling you up. Picking up your pace, you bounced harder atop him to bring yourself closer to the edge. A few more thrusts had you cresting that hill, an unrestrained whine mixed with a moan leaving you as you came on Nico’s cock, your walls fluttering and pulsating around him while the thumb on your clit strummed you perfectly.

After your grip on his chest loosened, Nico was flipping you onto your back in a smooth movement, and he hitched a leg over his hip while he pounded you this way. His breath was heavy in your ear as he chased his high, taking only a few more thrusts before he halted and then came inside you.

His moans always sounded so pretty when he came, and mixed with the way he lightly bit your shoulder as he finished, it sparked a second, smaller orgasm to wash over you.

Once Nico came back down, he captured your lips in another kiss; this one softer and slower than your previous ones. Then he slid out of your dripping cunt and rolled to the side in a boneless heap.

You both laid in silence, catching your breaths while you each waited for the other to say something first—to burst the euphoric sex bubble and have reality set back in, but it never came. Wordlessly, you got up from bed and used the bathroom to dress for bed. Nico followed in your steps when you climbed back under the covers and came back shirtless and in a pair of clean boxers before tucking himself in beside you.

Neither of you said a thing as Nico folded himself around your back, nestling himself nice and cozy against you and wrapping an arm around your middle to pull you in deep.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispered with a kiss on your shoulder.

“Goodnight, Nico,” you repeated back, making yourself comfortable in his hold.

‘We’ll talk tomorrow’ was the unsaid conclusion you both came to that neither of you minded. But for tonight, you’d enjoy what you had.

-

Emily stole your breath walking down the aisle, the long white train of her wedding dress catching the red rose petals as she drew closer to the altar. You all raised out of your seats when the music started playing, standing with Nico in a row near the front with your brother and his family on your other side.

The weather was perfect for an outdoor July wedding, the clouds providing just enough cover to keep the heat from becoming sweltering. A long white carpet extended through the aisle that led to a beautiful floral altar overlooking a large expanse of fields.

Nico stood on the edge of the row, giving him a view of everything: the bride, the altar, David tearing up underneath it, but the most important view for Nico was you.

Your skin glowed in the afternoon rays, which also illuminated the pale yellow dress you wore, transforming you into sunlight itself. He couldn’t help but let his eyes flicker back to you despite his efforts to watch Emily walk down the aisle, but nothing compared to how pretty you looked beside him.

He was even more grateful when you were finally seated and you took his hand in yours, resting them both on your thigh. Your intertwined fingers rested comfortably throughout the ceremony, and at one point you even allowed your head to fall on Nico’s shoulder as your eyes filled with tears at their sentimental vows.

Nico produced a tissue he had tucked away for this specific purpose, handing it to you and watching adoringly as you blotted your eyes carefully. Maybe he even took a risk and kissed your temple softly when you were too busy cheering at their walk back down the aisle.

There were a lot of questions unanswered and more problems that needed to be resolved after last night’s slip-up, but Nico was just thankful you didn’t run screaming from him when you woke up in his arms this morning. In fact, you indulged him in a few minutes of conscious cuddling before pulling away to get ready for the day.

And maybe he was seeing things, but Nico swore your stare lingered on him for longer than normal over breakfast pancakes and that you nudged his foot with yours under the table, but he could’ve also been delirious and shamelessly hopeful.

Even at the reception, you sat closer to him at the table than you did the night before, occasionally letting your elbows knock together or letting your thighs brush momentarily. You didn’t shy away from his grasp like you normally did when you mingled with other guests, seamlessly introducing him as your boyfriend to strangers and leaning in closer to his touch. And when Nico pulled you onto the dancefloor, you twirled happily in his arms for three whole songs, whatever awkwardness that had been surrounding you all week was gone for those ten glorious minutes.

“Stop staring at my cake.” Nico laughed. “Just go get another piece.”

After burning off all the calories from dinner, you settled back down for dessert and easily tore through your own slice of cake. And Nico knew you had your sights set on his slice now.

“You took the largest piece. I’m not hungry enough for a whole slice. I just want one more bite.” You batted your eyelashes at him. “Please.”

Nico rolled his eyes but scooped up a chunk of cake on his fork and held it in front of your face. You gladly opened your mouth to take the bite. He watched with heated eyes as you licked the remaining frosting off your lips, and without overthinking his next move, he leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss.

It was chaste and sweet and only lasted a second before Nico pulled back, the sweet taste of icing now coating his mouth.

“Nico…” Your voice was strained, your eyes downcast.

“Let’s take a walk,” he said, standing up abruptly.

The night was winding down already, a couple people had already left the reception and those who remained were well on the way to getting drunk. You looked around hesitantly.

“Come on.” Nico held his hand out for you to take. “No one will mind us leading a little early. Besides, we have some stuff to talk about.”

“I guess we do, don’t we?” You took his hand and let him lead you away.

Nico gave you the opportunity to say goodbye to Emily and David, but you skipped on telling the rest of your family lest they try to convince you to stay.

The July air had chilled significantly since the afternoon, but it was a welcome cool compared to the stifling air in the barn.

Nico’s hand still held yours as he steered you towards the backyard area, leading you down a cobblestone trail that continued into a thick copse of trees.

“I don’t think this is the way back to the house,” you commented as you traveled further into the woods, the trail illuminated by the occasional lamppost stuck in the ground.

“I figured this would be easier than trying to talk it out at the house with your parents and family there. And I found this cool spot when I was helping your dad set up yesterday.”

The destination came into view just a few short minutes later, a small wooden gazebo in a garden clearing, completely vacant and adorned in hanging lanterns. In the middle rested a large bench.

You both sat on the old bench, close enough to still hold hands but not nearly as close as you were back at the reception. The chirping of cicadas engulfed you from all sides while you sat in silence, internally debating how to address the situation.

“So I was—”

“We should—”

You nodded for Nico to go first.

“Last night was incredible,” he started, glancing down to your intertwined fingers. “For me, at least. This whole week with you has been great, really. Your family, the wedding, you, everything. I wanted to know if it was as good for you as it was for me.”

“Yeah. It was,” you admitted with a sigh. “It has me all different kinds of confused if I’m being honest.”

Nico’s chin tilted down in agreement. “Yeah. I know.”

Another silence filled the air between you.

“I think this week made me realize how much I missed you. How much I missed us,” you said. “And not us at the end where we didn’t even want to be around each other but us before everything went to shit.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever missed anyone as much as I’ve missed you these past months,” he confessed. “What do we do? What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. We can’t go on like it is now, and we certainly can’t go back to how it was. I don’t know what other option is left.”

“Then we’ll start over.”

“Nico…” you scoffed. “We already know everything about each other. We can’t just start over.”

“Who says we can’t? You said it yourself we can’t exist like this and we can’t go back. The only other option is to start over. It’ll be our version of a do-over,” he said.

“And how would that even work?”

He shrugged. “We start from square one. Start with the dates and weekly phone calls and go on from there. I’ll give it some time before I ask you to be my girlfriend and then you’ll start spending the night. Slowly you’ll infiltrate my apartment like you did the first time by leaving some extra clothes around and bringing your own throw blankets.” He grinned as he reminisced. “We’ll do it all over and do it right this time. We’ll talk when shit gets hard and not let other obligations monopolize all our time.”

Nico lifted his arm to sling it around your shoulder, all the while keeping your hands connected. You leaned into his embrace and rested your head on his shoulder.

“What happens if I want to apply to another program that takes me away from New Jersey?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but now that I know that’s something you want, we can work out a plan. God knows I have enough money to fly you back whenever you want, and we’ll always have the summer. It’ll be a temporary problem that’ll require a temporary solution. Past that? Who knows, but we can figure it out.”

“You sound pretty confident for a guy who ignored my text messages for days on end just a few months ago,” you chuckled.

He laughed at your joke and pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’ve done a lot of growing up,” he teased. “But it’s like you said with David and Emily. They needed their time apart, but you always knew they were meant for each other. I think you’re meant for me and maybe that was supposed to be our time apart.”

“How philosophical and romantic of you,” you remarked with a smirk.

“It’s the wedding vibes,” he replied. “And don’t act like you weren’t crying earlier at the vows.”

“Only if you admit they made you tear up as well.” You had seen the slight sheen of tears in his eyes after the ceremony.

Nico elected to ignore your comment. “So what do you say?”

“To starting over?” He hummed in acknowledgement. “You really think we can do it?”

“I don’t know, to be honest, but I think we have a much better chance than last time. And we’ll never know until we try, and I really want to try with you.”

You gave it a moment to ruminate. There was no doubt it wouldn’t be easy, especially since you knew that you did want to leave New Jersey at some point, but somehow even that fact didn’t bring you down. Maybe knowing everything you knew from last time would set you on a better path this time around. And there was no way to know unless you tried.

“Okay,” you said softly. “Let’s give it another try.”

“Really? You want to?”

“Yeah. I do. I want this with you.”

You looked up at him then, gazes connecting and a mutual compromise was reached. One more try.

“Should we get back to the party?” You asked, after a considerable pause of longing stares.

“Not yet,” Nico answered, and then he leaned forward to peck you sweetly. “I wanna spend a little more time here with you. We can count this as our first date.”