#after I convince myself they're totally fine

[bagelvangr]

I am disliking everything I am drawing right now, so instead I will post my 2022 year in tattoos 🥹

All inspired by ancient art based on archaeology/history and depict a lot of my ancestry, family and personal history, past, present, future, fears, aspirations, goals, mindset, etc. etc. and all depicting motifs and symbols taken from my own cultural background.

These are all pics taken on the day of the actual session, so pardon any swelling/blood/messiness on them. When the weather is better and I feel more confident body-wise, I'll post way better pics (if I take any 💀)

It seems like I got a lot done this year, but this has been something I've been wanting for a very very long time and would have been done over a few years. But you know, a global pandemic happened and it wasn't until recently that I felt comfortable enough to get these done.

[transmascsub]

i want to have a 'friend', my roommate, convince me to get top surgery which keeps all my nipple sensitivity and bottom surgery that keeps my cock all small and sensitive and keeps my hole to 'avoid complications in surgery'. i'm so breedable right now that i have to be on oestrogen blockers and i want her to tell me to switch to the pill so i get all nice and round and plump.

then i want her to convince me that if i have a pussy still, and i can't get pregnant from it, it should be fine for her to use it? after all she's done for me. it's such a small thing, letting her use my pussy if i'm not even using it myself, and we're just friends, it's not weird. she does all the washing up so it's fair.

so she starts fucking me with her huge cock and it's so much and i'm so sensitive and i don't want to like it but all the hormones make my brain all swimmy and my cock all twitchy and i cum on her girlcock every time and hope she doesn't notice. i get all whimpery and whiny when she stuffs me and i just say it's because i'm uncomfortable but it's because it's so so good and i hate it so much.

she starts fucking me all day and night. if i'm doing work on my laptop she'll just pick me up and sit me back down on her cock and tell me to keep going. if i'm in the kitchen to make breakfast she'll ask if i don't mind awfully if she could get some help with her morning wood and she'll gently but firmly press me over the counter and stuff me so so full.

her friends come over and she casually brings up that i still have a pussy and they all ask for a go, and when i'm uncertain, they say that it's not fair that i get a pussy when they don't (they're all women) and the least i could do is let them fuck me and they're so firm and they push so hard that i just let them to avoid conflict. then they just keep casually talking to each other about nothing in particular like magic the gathering whilst wrecking me with their girlcocks. at one point one of them points out one of their cocks is making my tummy bulge each thrust and they record it and show the girl thrusting into me and they laugh or call it cute and i turn pink with embarrassment. of course i'm left with cum leaking out of me.

eventually she doesn't stop there. she knows i'm a breeding boy, and she's made me into a breeding cockslut. she swaps my birth control for a fertility med with aphrodisiac side effects and of course doesn't tell me. she leaves me to stir for a few days, getting plumper and more sensitive. my nipples feel teased by any clothes i wear. my cock is hard all of the time. she packs my schedule which exhausts me so i never have a second to touch myself.

after four days of being constantly teased and tortured, i break. all my objections are overcome by need and she's already fucking me anyway so what's the harm in asking if she'd like to do it now? and so i ask her if maybe she could fuck me. she probes me with questions and she makes me tell her that i enjoy it, that i cum on her cock every time, that i'm constantly moaning in pleasure when she's inside me. she makes me agree that i feel empty without it, that i'm desperate to please her and be stuffed with cum.

she makes me prove how much i love her cock, and i'm just so needy and desperate that i'd do anything. she makes me suck her off, and it's so so humiliating. she makes me watch her as i bounce my mouth on her cock. it's so thick and just a fraction of it fills my mouth all the way up and tears start spilling from my eyes. she calls me pathetic, that i'm so desperate for cock that i'd suck off my best friend, and that i must just be a total cockslut. she says i can't think of anything other than cock and being stuffed. she gets bored with my weak attempts and starts fucking my throat. she says that pleasing women is what i'm for, and that it's just uncomfortable because i'm not used to it, and once i understand my true purpose it'll get easier.

she doesn't cum in my throat. she forces it out, dripping with my saliva and her precum, and makes me beg her to breed me. i didn't think that she was being serious - i haven't been fertile in years - so i comply and plead with my fogged-up mind for her to cum inside of me and that i'll be good for her and that she can use me whenever she likes and i don't mind. i don't know or care about what i'm saying, i'm just saying anything to have her inside me. i'm too swimmy to think about anything but her cock.

she pulls out her phone and tells me to look up to the camera and say that i need her to breed me full. and i do, just not having enough brain to think about how foolish i was being. and she says i'll take you at your word, and finally, finally, she bends me over. she leaves her phone recording us but i don't notice. she rubs the tip of her cock against my opening and tells me how wet i am for her and how much of a pathetic slut i am. how she bets i can't think of anything other than cock. how she thinks that it's probably all i'm good for. it's torturous, her tip just so so close to what i need, and she just keeps teasing me. i just… adjust my angle, to make penetration easier for her, and she laughs at me for presenting myself, and how i'm just a dumb cockslut, and how she doesn't think there's much brain in there anymore. that i'm basically just a toy for her and her friends to pass around each other, and that i wouldn't mind. she says that they're going to fill me up with cum soooo nicely. that they'll take care of me so well. that my womb will be bulging with cum. that it's what my slutty body was made for: being bred over and over.

i'm squirming on her cock, desperate for her, but she's pinning my hips firmly to the bed and i just can't get it in me and i need it so much and i'm crying a little and i just start moaning please over and over. and she just looks at me and smiles and pets my hair and says, alright boytoy, and she pushes all the way inside me at once and i just. break. and then she starts thrusting and oh my god nothing has ever ever felt this good and she knows it and she asks me doesn't this feel nice and that this is what it could be like every day and i could just be a toy for women to use as they like. she tells me that i'm made for being bred. she grabs my thighs and my ass and tells me how they're all plump and lush and that's the way of nature telling everyone that i'm breedable and she's touching me all over and telling me how sensitive i am and how i wouldn't be so sensitive if i wasn't made to be touched like this. and i'm moaning so much that she can just assume that i agree with every word she says. and i can't think but i know it feels so good and that i need it so so so much and everything she says can be true as long as she never stops ever because nothing else will ever compare.

but i'm wrong. she tells me to beg her for her cum. i let out a string of pleases and moans and she gives me a spank and says properly. and i try so hard to concentrate and say that it'll feel really nice and i want it so much and she's right about everything and that i need it and i'm built for it and please please please. she makes me call her mistress, and i'm so deep in that i don't think about the fact that she's my best friend and we've been friends for years and i'm going to swap all of that to be her cockdrunk toy. and i just say please, mistress, please give me your cum, i need it, i need you, please, i'm so so desperate for it, i can't, i can't do anything but think about it, i'll do anything just please please please come inside of me.

this seems to, just about, satisfy her. she calls me her pathetic cuntboy, and that she'll fix me the cuntboy i was always meant to be. and she starts touching my cocklet and my nipples and i'm so so so close and she's going so fast and i can't and my whole body is overcome with pleasure. my cock is all pink and twitching and leaking and her fingers are magical. and then, pistoning in and out of me, she cums all the way inside me, filling me up, and it's the greatest moment of my life so far and it's so much and it's everything. and i cum but i don't even really notice.

she gives me a kiss on the forehead and tells me that i've done so so well for her, and that i'm going to make such a good toy and be so useful for the community. little do i know that she's planning to use me as an incubator for lesbian couples struggling with fertility so after a month of being fertilised she plans to take out the embryo from me and breed me again. i'm just a breeding machine to her. and she owns me, and that much i already know.

[heartsoji]

haikyuu boys with an s/o who's really scared of horror movies

pairings: iwaizumi x reader, oikawa x reader, tsukishima x reader, bokuto x reader

a/n: lol this is me i actually cannot with horror like at all

warnings: post-timeskip in iwaizumi's

iwaizumi hajime

iwaizumi's pretty good with horror movies

occasionally, he'll be a little caught off-guard with a sudden jumpscare, but he's pretty much fine otherwise

now YOU..

you are not ok.

you are screaming, hiding, and tearing up

he honestly doesn't really understand what's so scary about them

since i hc iwaizumi to be a realist, he'd be like

it's a movie. it was filmed. those are actors. it's so obvious none of that stuff could ever happen in real life

still, he understands that you're really scared and tries his best to comfort you

time to put those beefy athletic trainer arms to work

he lets you cling onto them for the whole movie and lets you use then as a stress ball

iwaizumi's a traditional, old school, cheesy hopeless romantic. convince me otherwise.

therefore, his method of comfort usually comes in the form of soothing words and back rubs in his arms

its actually quite nice. he lets you scream into his titties (HE HAS TITTIES AND THEYRE MORE ROCK SOLID THAN REGINA GEORGE'S MOM'S. CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.)

when you're truly scared scared (like heart pounding, sobs racking ur body, you're def gonna get rlly bad nightmares type of scared scared)

he will probs turn it off bc he thinks that no movie ending is worth this much terror

he cares about you a lot, after all. he thinks its slightly amusing when you're screaming your head off at the obviously fake blood, but he would never want you to be fearful for real

rubs your back and whispers soothing words into your ear

"its ok" "i'm right here" "don't worry, i'd protect you if they ever came" type of stuff

after you've calmed down a bit, he'll try to make you laugh

jokes, tickles, anything, really!

he hates seeing you scared. he just wants you to be happy

10/10. marry me sir.

oikawa tooru

lol

hate to break it to you but

tooru is equally as scared of horror movies

you guys have to cuddle up in blanket burritos together and scream at every jumpscare

honestly you both only make it through the movie through sheer willpower

if you're crying, he'll try to comfort you, but tbh he's pretty damn scared himself

however, once the movie is over, he's totally fine

movie forgotten. out of memories. what movie should you guys watch next?

but YOU

you're still crying

you're still really shaken up

you're def gonna have nightmares

he takes that opportunity to be the manly man he is and swoops you up bridal style

he's very charming. he looks at you in the most dazzling, heart-melting way

lol boy u were just crying too stfu

he cuddles you close, and just like iwa, whispers sweet words into your ear

however, unlike iwa, they're much more...childish? playful? how to describe them..

"it'll be ok. your big, strong, boyfriend will protect anything that tries to hurt his princess" "*dramatic gasp* YOU DON'T THINK I'M CAPABLE OF FIGHTING IT OFF BY MYSELF? HOW COULD YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME LIKE THIS? THIS.. THIS IS BETRAYAL" "they don't even look that strong. im sure i could hit a volleyball at one and it would rip into two!"

stuff like that

he would make sure to cuddle you extra close that night

overall, he's pretty fun and is good at making everything seem less serious. 8.5/10!

tsukishima kei

honestly, he's as affected by horror movies at the average guy

he doesn't find them as terrifying as oikawa, but he's definitely not as unaffected as iwaizumi

but you'd never know that

why?

he just hides his emotions really, really well

also he just sometimes focuses on the wall behind the tv and drowns out the voices

he just sits through them and bears them, basically

now, why? why in the world would he do this when he doesn't even enjoy it?

to make fun of you, duh. shouldn't that have been obvious?

when you leap 30ft out of your seat into the air, he laughs at you

he'll even add onto your fear by like grazing your opposite shoulder when you aren't looking and pretending he didn't do it

hes a brat

but honestly, he partially enjoys it when you spring onto him at the jump scares, no matter how much he denies it

as we all know, the boys a lil shy about asking for affection

with horror movies, he gets your affection without even asking for it! yay!

but once the movies over, if you're really shaken up, he'll use his giant beanpole arms and spoon you until you fall asleep

but then he'll be an ass about it the following week

pokes, grabs, jabs you and will say,

"huh? it wasn't me. maybe it was the (wtv villain or ghost or spirit or wtv from the movie)!"

2/10. makes fun of you and makes the movie even scarier tbh. the 2 points r only bc of the comfort he gives after its over.

bokuto koutaro

like most things in life, bokuto goes between two extremes, and never crosses into the middle

he's either having super insane cut shots that go BOOM

OR he's doing awful and is in his emo mode

same thing with this

he either isn't affected by it at all and just laughs

or he screams when the character breathes a lil too heavily

now, if he thinks the movie's not scary at all, he's pretty good to watch with if you're super scared

during the scary parts, he lets you cling onto his beefy arm while he just watches the movie in amusement

like there's a really scary scene where there's a huge jumpscare into the most climatic scene in the movie and you're burying your face into his arm but in the background you just hear:

"HAHAHAHAHA! Y/N Y/N! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! HE'S...HE'S GETTING CHASED BY THIS GREY LITTLE CHILD! HAHAHAHA ITHIHIHIT'S EYES LOOK LIKE TAPIOCAAHAHAAHA"

"oh the grey little child is smiling! it's kinda cute! why is the main character guy sweating? he looks like me right after a long game"

"why'd the grey little child pull a purple thing out of his throat? what's that? i wonder what it tastes like though..i think it would be a thick gummy texture, but maybe a little gooey on the inside. definitely grape-flavored. the really sweet artificial good one. oh.. now i want a gummy!"

yeah

he definitely makes it less scary because he makes all the scary stuff seem really stupid

honestly pretty nice. you might not get as many nightmares because of him

now

when he's terrified, he's more terrified than you

*main character sneezes* "AHHHHHHH"

think oikawa x 800

mhm

honestly, you kind of have to take the comfort role even though you're deathly afraid of horror movies

"kou, he's just walking. its ok."

honestly he makes it seem less scary like this too because it forces you to see why the movie isn't actually that scary because you have to find out the reasons to comfort him

8.7/10. a sweetie

[gilverrwrites]

Jason and Roy separately after they keep teasing you and you just end up disengaging and dealing with it yourself with your hitachi and calling it a night. They got a lil too confident with the orgasm denial and forgot that their competition is Mr. Bunny massager/Mrs. Rose toy, who gives out orgasms for free with little to no begging or pleading or promises to be a good girl/boy required. Their window of opportunity to make you nut has closed and they're stuck waiting for the 1-3 business days for you to be in the mood/horny again if they wanna touch you again and they better bring their A game or they might just become 2nd fiddle to a bad dragon toy. (This might just be me but I'm not in a rush to repeat it if I spend all night with a person and dont get my rocks off, id still give head if asked but id need serious convincing to let them touch me again, bc it's not hot they wasted my fucking time, if I want to NOT come I can do that by myself)

On a very real note, teasing, edging, and denial are kinks like any other, and you should be voicing to your partners what kinks you do and don't like in the bed room to keep things fun and healthy. Your partner also shouldn't be in competition with your sex toys unless that's something they're into. If its not working for you, say something, my friend. Don't be afraid to stop your partners and say ‘Hey, this isn't working for me, can we do ‘something else’ instead?’ especially before you jump straight to cutting them out of the activity completely.

There's also nothing wrong with having a low libido anon! You take all the time you need between sex!

That being said, the idea of being pressed into the bed by Jason or Roy while they’re giving it their all and getting real cocky about making you squirm only for you to be like ‘um, no, excuse me. You're taking to long so I'll be doing this myself, thank you’ makes me laugh.

I think for both of them, the initial response would just be shock. Like open-mouth awe at your gall. Can't knock a girl who knows what she wants, and both of them would definitely enjoy watching you get off on your own typically, but the blow of you doing it unexpectedly, especially while they've been enjoying themselves would bruise their egos.

Roy is the type to try and win you back over. He's getting close, gently trying to pry the toy out of your hands and promising he’ll do better, he’ll do whatever you want just give him another chance. Can't you see how hard you've got him? Its painful, baby. You should let him relieve you both together.

Another disclaimer: Blue balls ain't a real thing, don't let Roy Harper convince you otherwise, he's just needy as all hell and will say anything to get you back to bed with him.

Jason would take it a lot harder. When his family piss him off he blows up, but I think he'd worry about scaring you/putting you off so he sulks instead. No, its fine. You do what you've gotta do, no really its totally fine. He’ll just show myself out and you can try again in the approximate 3 business days you need to to get there again, if he's around.

There's also a level of familiarity and intimacy to this. This is how I assume they'd react with someone they have an established romantic/sexual relationship with, in which at least some boundaries have been set. If you're just like, a one-night stand or you're in a causal hook-up scenario they'd probably just be like oh, okay. Guess we’re done for tonight, see ya round, have fun with that. They're not gonna push if it's evident you're not willing to give.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I've been thinking about this for a while. May I request Kerian battling a "snow on Mt. Silver" Reader? Reader was the strongest trainer at Blueberry academy and champion of the BB league until they willingly handed off the title to Drayton and climbed to the highest point in the polar biome to wait for a strong challenger. Kerian, upon becoming champion, gets wind of them and decides to battle them. Things go bad quickly as reader is a ghost/corpse. Kerian does get rescued but is traumatized.

Oh this is a GOOD concept,,,give him that near-death trauma waaaaay before he even learns about terapagos

Also ik the weather conditions in the terarium are all simulated, but let's just say it malfunctioned and resulted in an actual blizzard at the very peak of the polar biome that killed reader + their Pokémon off (yet no one knows this)

......

"Have you heard from [y/n] lately, Drayton?"

"Nope. Last time I checked, they're still chilling at the Polar Biome peak, waiting for a "worthy challenger"."

"Was that pun intended?"

"...maybe, haha. But y'know, I kinda miss seeing their face around campus. I mean..they were our club's first champion, and to this day I still don't know why they handed the title over to me and bailed on-"

"Hold on, there was a champion before you and...you didn't even fight them for the title? No wonder I was able to beat you so easily."

"Oh great, just the person I hoped to see." With a dry chuckle, Drayton turned his head only slightly upon seeing Kieran approaching the clubroom's table with a deep scowl, eyes bleak.

Of course, the new champion of BB Academy believed he had every right to barge into the Elite Four's conversations--given he was having a bit of a "power trip" ever since gaining the title yesterday.

But the dragon trainer elected to ignore him, instead turning back to the others. "Anyways..I'm sure [y/n]'s already moved onto better things. No way could they still be up there after all that weird stuff happened with the weather."

"You mean..the time there was an actual blizzard in the terarium??" Lacey gasped, before shaking her head and making an "x" pose. "Bzzzt. Nope. Impossible. They sent a search and rescue team in case anyone in the outdoor classroom got stranded up there. And they didn't find a soul!"

"Yeah!" Crispin nodded in agreement. "I get they were the strongest trainer in this entire school, but why would they risk-?"

"I'm sorry, they're the strongest? Why am I only hearing about this [y/n] now?"

With a small yelp, he turned to the purple-haired boy. "Wah!! I-I totally forgot you were here, sorry.." He mumbled, slightly cowering under his harsh gaze. "Obviously you're the strongest! [Y/n]'s not important..d-don't worry about them. They're history-"

"But you all seem pretty convinced they're still here." Kieran's eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the group. "And you just told me where I might find them." He clenched his fists, already shaking with anticipation.

"Easy there, champ.." Drayton huffed in annoyance. "It's only a rumor that they're still hanging around. They weren't much of a talker, so we have no clue where they are. Could be in another region for all we know."

"..........."

"Don't tell me....you're thinking about charging up that mountain all by yourself to see if they're there, are you? That's suicide."

"I have to agree with Drayton." Amarys nodded. "The staff is still trying to determine the cause of the anomalous weather patterns. We aren't banned from venturing up there, but until they can find a solution, it's ill-advised."

"Exactly!" Lacey joined in. "I heard one of the rescue team members had to get treated for frostbite. And it wasn't from some ice-type Pokémon, but the blizzard itself. This is serious, Kieran!"

"....I'll be fine. Your scare tactics won't work on me."

"Huh?! But we're not-"

"Enough. I'm gonna go find them myself, seeing as you're all too cowardly to do so." The champion sneered. "If a worthy challenger is what they're after, then I'll give them one. I'll let them know there's a new champion in town..and that he's the strongest trainer in this academy. Not them."

With that, he turned on his heel and left the room, mumbling under his breath things that made the four feel uneasy.

"How pathetic. The Elite Four..scared of a little snow and ice? Whatever. I'll show them. I'll show [y/n]. I'll show them ALL..."

After the doors slammed shut behind him, they felt the tension still lingering in the air--as did every other club member who was hanging out on the sofas and by the BP computer.

"Man." Drayton broke the silence, sitting up to stretch his arms. "That kid catches wind of some random stranger who's just a little stronger than him, and boom. He's obsessed. Hope he doesn't get himself killed up there."

"Should one of us go after him?" Lacey muttered in concern, her gaze not leaving the doors.

"I-I think that would make him angrier.." Crispin shook his head. "He's got an Incineroar, so maybe it'll keep him toasty."

"That is true. He could also either confirm or deny [y/n]'s presence atop that mountain." Amarys spoke up. "I only hope he properly prepares himself for the long journey..and that no other weather anomalies arise.."

..........

"They weren't kidding..i-it's freezing...but we're doing this, Incineroar."

"Cinn.." Huffing, the Heel Pokémon remained beside its trainer as the two made their ascension towards the summit. They couldn't see any rest spots nor healing centers below them due to the snowfall being so heavy.

Even the teraglobe was barely visible.

Yet Kieran was persistent as ever in his goal, keeping his jacket zipped up and Incineroar close to him. He didn't care about the fact his hands were already growing numb, nor the cold biting at his legs leaving them weak.

He was the new champion. He had to let everyone in this school know and defeat whoever could threaten the position he worked so hard to achieve.

If not [Florian/Juliana]..then it was you.

You're someone he's never even met, but knowing you were the very first BB League champion and had a big-enough ego to come up here and wait for a strong challenger...was something he couldn't turn a blind eye to.

No.

Not if he wanted to be the best in this entire school and eliminate any competition.

Absolutely nothing was gonna stop him.

Not even the fact that his Incineroar's flames were struggling to stay alive, gradually exhausting the feline as it struggled to keep up. It began having chills itself, although it knew better than to disobey its trainer when he demanded to keep the fire going.

Surely it can tough it out for him, right?

After what seemed like an eternity, Kieran finally reached the top of the mountain and saw you: the lone figure waiting for them both. Much of the snowfall had already cleared up allowing him to see you in a cap that concealed your eyes and a BB Academy uniform.

You were looking at something up in the sky, until you heard the sounds of shuffling and turned around, looking down with surprise at the challenger.

This kid...came up all this way to see you? Impressive.

His Incineroar looked a little worse for wear, the flames around its belt dying out, yet it stuck close to its trainer's side as he stared at you with a cold hard gaze.

"Are you [y/n], former BB League Champion?" He questioned.

"........."

"Not much of a talker, huh? Guess they were right. I'm Kieran, or better yet..Champion Kieran."

Although you barely gave a response aside from a slight tilt of your head, he just smirked. "Yeah, you heard me. I'm the new champion and president of the League Club, not that dumb dragon tamer. Because unlike him, I worked hard to earn this title. I don't wait around for things to be handed to me on a silver platter."

".........."

"You think being champion is a joke? Something you can just pawn off to somebody when you get bored of it?"

"........."

"I thought so. That means you never deserved the title to begin with.." He scoffed, irritated by your silence. "Anyway, they said you were the strongest, but I'm here to change that!" Pointing up at you, he shouted over the wind. "You wanted a worthy opponent..well HERE I AM!!! Incineroar, Porygon-Z...show them the power of a true BB League Champion!!"

He took out his Virutal Pokémon's pokeball, ready to send it into battle.

But it didn't come out after he tossed it to the ground.

"...huh?" Confused, Kieran picked up the pokeball, wondering why it wasn't opening. Then he noticed frost coating the button, practically icing it over entirely. "No, no, no.....what is this?!"

For some reason it was jammed, and he discovered that all the other pokeballs in his bag were like that, too, rendering them inaccessible.

But how?

It shouldn't be possible for all of them to freeze simultaneously...their insulation should be top-tier.

Brushing off his worries, he glared at you. "Whatever. I can win a single-battle, too! I've developed strategies for this. Incineroar, it's all up to you now"

Nodding, the Heel Pokémon cracked its knuckles and stepped forward. But as it looked at you, it began shivering all of the sudden, feeling a drastic drop in temperature as the flames on its belt struggled still.

It wasn't just the weather giving it chills..but you.

Something about you just seemed...off, but it couldn't exactly tell its trainer what that was. Nor would he probably care.

Whether it liked it or not, it had to win this battle.

Wordlessly, you stepped down so you could fight on equal ground and took out a single pokeball. It was covered in frost, with much of the red paint faded, and it looked awfully damaged--especially the button.

Yet somehow it was functional as you sent out your first Pokémon.

And the sight of it was so grisly, Kieran felt genuinely nauseated, unable to do anything except stare in shock.

"Wh...What the..."

It appeared as a sickly frostbit creature, with its colors dull and empty sockets in place of its eyes. Not to mention the heavy wounds littering its body, which seemed fresh. It's like you ran out of healing items and never bothered to look for any more.

And its cry was pained.

Considering how much Kieran himself loved and treasured Pokémon, he was gravely concerned and had second thoughts about fighting one in such a horrible state...

But that little voice in his head told him that refusing to fight your team would make him look weak. You'd probably think he was weak for backing down.

And he refused to do that.

Why was he suddenly so afraid? You were only trying to scare him, just like everybody else...and he was fed up with that.

He came this far. He had to finish this.

"You...think your Pokémon can battle in that condition? Looks like they can barely stand." His eyebrows furrowed. "No matter. Once I beat you, I'll take them off your ha-"

"Struggle."

A hoarse whisper escaped your lips, stunning him as he realized you could actually speak. But then your Pokémon suddenly threw itself at Incineroar, attacking and taking a good deal of recoil damage as it fainted soon afterwards.

Or rather...

It simply dropped to the ground and ceased all motions, with you making no move to recall them. Instead you just sent out your next party member.

Kieran tried not to think about why they did that, and just scoffed at your strategy. "Really? This is what the "strongest" trainer is capable of? I expected better..I'll beat you in no time at all."

Yet you didn't seem fazed by anything he said, as you commanded your Pokémon to use Struggle, too.....and every other one after that did the same thing.

What frustrated him the most was how they all managed to outspeed Incineroar, forcing it to endure every hit without getting a chance to retaliate. It felt so unfair, and he couldn't do anything except sit and watch, feeling his blood boiling more with each passing second.

He didn't know why you exhausted all of your team's moves, why you wouldn't give him a chance to strike back....or why you're even up here at all and allowed them to get this bad.

But he knew one thing.

He wanted to get off this mountain soon.

The snowfall was growing heavier again, the howling wind picking up as the temperature kept dropping.

"Stop! Just stop for a second!!" He snapped as you readied your final pokeball. All you did was pause and stare at him. "You haven't given me a chance to attack yet! And I'm locked out my pokeballs...this isn't fair! You're cheating!!"

"..it's almost over."

He tensed, wondering why you spoke those words so ominously. But he took that as an insult and scowled. "For me? No...it's almost over for you. You're down to your last Pokémon..and I still have all of mine. I'm putting an end to this pathetic "struggle strategy" of yours right now."

".........."

"What a joke this was. Everyone says you were the strongest trainer..but you're just another obstacle in my way."

Hearing that saddened you a little, almost making you regret what you're about to subject this hapless champion to next...but you will end this one way or another.

You couldn't tolerate his arrogance any longer.

Your final Pokémon's appearance completely wiped the smug look on Kieran's face, as his eyes widened upon seeing a Pikachu in the most horrific condition--one that didn't look anything like the others on your team.

Its fur was totally white with a layer of frost coating it; and it was missing a leg, ear, and part of its tail...as though something had torn and chewed at various sections of its body. And its wounds exposed its muscle and bones, yet somehow it was still able to stand on its own.

But the most terrifying thing was its lack of a cutesy smile typical to its species. Instead there was this creepy grin stretching from ear-to-nonexistent-ear. And it just stared at him with those pitch black eyes, giggling.

His hands shook with genuine fear, before he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

Yet both of you were still there when he looked, ready for battle.

Suddenly he didn't feel so high and mighty right now. His heart pounded and his throat felt dry, eyes stinging from the cold.

He felt as though he wasn't supposed to be here.

He shouldn't be here.

He didn't want to do this anymore.

He wanted to go home.

It was so cold...

But he needed to finish this.

"I-Incineroar, use-"

"Pain Split."

'Wait...Pikachu can learn that?!' His eyes widened in shock, but at the same time he was relieved you finally did something new-

Only for your Pikachu to screech and attack his Pokémon with that move, biting into its arm and causing the latter to roar in agony. He could only watch, horrified as blood splattered all across the snow.

By the time he managed to recall Incineroar, it had already fainted from the attack.

However your Pikachu did, too, laying among the other bodies of your Pokémon...who he now realized were in fact deceased. He could barely see them since the snow covered most of them.

But the morbid images would never leave his head.

He still didn't understand.

What have you become?

What are you?

"It's over."

Looking up, Kieran screamed upon seeing your uniform now covered in blood, the frostbite having eaten away at most of your flesh. You looked like some zombie, with exposed bones and hollowed eyes much like your Pokémon--gazing at him with that same sadness they held.

Now it finally hit him.

All this time, he wasn't battling some BB League ex-champion. He was battling the victim of that weather malfunction the four were talking about.

The one who never made it down this mountain alive.

You were already dead...and wanted him to suffer the same fate as you.

He blinked, and you were suddenly in front of him, grabbing the front of his jacket with two hands and staring at him. And all he could do was stare back in terror, unable to look away.

"Destiny B-"

"NO!! NO!! STOP!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" Screaming as loud as he could, he lost all composure as he tried pushing you off of him, hitting your jaw and dislocating the bone.

You dropped him to the ground, and he sobbed, wrapping his arms over his head as he begged you to leave him be.

"L-Let me go home, please pleasepleaseplease-"

"Kieran?!!!"

With a sharp gasp, he looked up to hear the voice of Lacey, before seeing her, Carmine, and the other Elite Four members rushing towards him. They were all bundled-up, with Crispin's Magmortar and Heat Rotom keeping them warm.

"It's [y/n]!!" He shouted, pointing to where you stood. "Th-They..they're right there!!"

The group stopped, appearing confused as they looked all around, seeing nothing but snow.

"Wh-Why are you all standing around?!"

"Kieran..there's no one here except us." Crispin muttered.

".....huh?" Blinking, he looked back and realized you have disappeared entirely, not leaving behind a single trace of your presence. There weren't any blood or footprints in the snow, nor any frozen bodies of Pokémon lying in it.

It's like he was battling a hallucination all along.

But it felt so real..

"But I....I-I..."

"Only you would be insane enough to risk your life coming up here," Carmine huffed, kneeling down. But as soon as she saw the true terror in her little brother's eyes, her heart sank..wondering what he witnessed. "Kiki..?"

"...i-it was them...[y/n]..." He mumbled shakily, his arm still stuck in a pointing position. Tears streaked down his face, the cold wind making his cheeks sting like hell. "Th-They were right here..and...and they...they tried to-"

"Listen, I get you really wanted to meet them and battle them...but they're not here. They're long gone. Now c'mon. We need to get you off this stupid mountain." Picking him up was no problem for Carmine, given how he was light as a feather. He just clung to her, allowing himself to be carried on her back.

The four were astonished that he actually made the journey up here, with Drayton wondering if he was really that desperate to battle you that he came up here, realized you weren't around, and just...made up a scenario in which he wins anyways.

Instead, the poor kid seemed traumatized by whatever he saw...or believed he saw.

After making it safely down the mountain and getting treated--alongside his Incineroar--Kieran's detailed account of what happened led to another rescue team heading up the summit, just in case they may have missed something.

They had fire types and ground type tirelessly shoveling through the snow, digging in the exact spot where he battled you, but there were no signs of you anywhere.

Even so..he refused to believe it, and still had reoccurring nightmares of that encounter and how it might've ended if the others didn't show up in time.

Soon enough he got back on-track to training his Pokémon and becoming stronger everyday, but other trainers noticed how carefully he treaded throughout the Polar Biome..

And how he avoided going anywhere near the tallest mountain in that zone.

For he believed you were still up there, waiting for him.

[bookbitchx]

Blog Introduction.

Marhaba, Salut, Hello.

My blog is mostly centered around the Maasverse.

I don't claim to know what it's like or what it takes to write a successful series, let alone multiple, and I never will.

These are my opinions, mostly based on the ACOTAR series, soon enough TOG (a much needed reread before I can give my solid opinion) and CC (whenever I get to actually reading it.)

Heavily centered tags: Anti Rhysand, Anti Feyre, Anti Feysand, Anti IC, Anti Nessian, Anti Cassian, Anti Amren, Anti Mor.

Pro Lucien, Pro Eris, Pro Tamlin, Pro Nesta, Pro Gwyn, Pro Emerie, Pro Tarquin, Pro Helion, Pro Thesan.

Neutral: Azriel, Elain, Vassa, Jurian, Kallias, Viviane, literally anyone else left.

▪︎Anti Rhysand: I can't stand the guy. Plain and simple.

▪︎Anti Feyre: I liked her in the first book, even a few chapters into AF, where that Feyre went, I'll never know.

▪︎Anti Feysand: The most obnoxious rulers in all of Prythian. It would've been fine if they had anything to back it up with, but they don't.

▪︎Anti IC: This one is obvious. They're more like an inbred cult than a found family.

▪︎Anti Nessian: I deluded myself that the bond is Made, and I stand by that.

▪︎Anti Cassian: He's the worst mate ever written by SJM, and that's saying something since she wrote Rhysand.

▪︎Anti Amren: I could tolerate her in AF, but she's completely unnecessary after WAR.

▪︎Anti Mor: Could've been a great character, failed her miserably in whatever it is she is now.

▪︎Pro Lucien: Why wouldn't I be? Easily the best written character in the series.

▪︎Pro Eris: Everything is not as it seems. Maybe I'll eat my words later on, maybe I won't. We'll see.

▪︎Pro Tamlin: This is a tricky one. I don't condone/encourage/find what he did okay pre-petty Feyre revenge. However, he's more than made up and paid for it.

▪︎Pro Nesta: I also don't condone her actions in the first few chapters of TAR, some of SF, but again, she's more than made up for it.

▪︎Pro Gwyn, Emerie, Tarquin, Helion, Thesan: Obvious reasons.

▪︎Azriel: He's there, I guess. I'm disappointed with the way he was written, but yk. Waiting for his book to make up my mind.

▪︎Elain: She's also there. Idk. From what I did see of her in the books, she's alright. Hated her for not standing up for Nesta, but I'm over it.

▪︎Kallias and Viviane: I loved their story, at least the bits that we saw. However, I'll forever judge them for not hounding Rhysand about the 'other' Daemati's name. I'll keep believing he did it until anon Daemati's head is brought and shown.

▪︎Vassa, Jurian: Gave Lucien a place in the band of Exiles. Nothing more needs to be said.

I'm team Elucien all the way.

Iffy about if Gwynriel will happen, but I would love to see them together.

If these are not your things, it's totally your choice. Feel free to leave, or if you want to debate, I'm all for it as long as neither if us try to convince the other of something and try to shove it down the other's throat.

I do post other things, or I'm going to, mostly book reviews based on these genres: Romantasy, Fantasy, Mystery, YA, Dark Romance.

Also, English isn't my first or second language. If I make grammar/vocabulary mistakes, this is my sorry in advance.

Okay, I think that's it.

Byeeee.

[destinygoldenstar]

🍀This Is My Fault, Guys...🍀 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 2 Episode 10 “Popping Trust”

Hello and hope y'all had a Happy Thanksgiving!

I know I wasn't too big on last episode. I will definitely say I prefer Season 1. But some of y'all told me it gets... interesting from here on out.

And since we're at four episodes left. Maybe.

NO I DON'T HAVE PTSD FROM ANOTHER EPISODE 10 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

Also, I got informed that Aiden DID in fact apologize to Karol.

If you saw my answer to that ask, I basically said: "Cool. Too bad I had to be told that outside of the show to know that."

It does, you know, tell me that Aiden doesn't apologize on the show at any point.

And hey, IF I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and he at the very least SAYS he apologized to her in a later episode.

But I am going to say this:

I KNOW these greetings exist as Q&As.

For right now, I do not care about these, nor am I watching these.

Any information I SHOULD know about the story and characters should be IN THE SHOW. Whether shown or told. It's gotta be IN THE SHOW.

Because otherwise, I'm convinced the writers are just making excuses.

If it's about any leisure stuff or stuff that isn't relevant to the plot, that's fine. But if you have to give away vital character information that helps me understand them in a supplemental material thing like a greeting, casual viewers like myself WON'T see these and WON'T know these.

That's where I stand with this.

I don't think that person was lying about Aiden apologizing to Karol. I think that was legit. I just wanted to clarify why I responded the way I did.

Good for Aiden for not being the worst though.

(Jake is still my best boy)

The two I'm the most interested in is Rosa and Riya. They have the plotline I care the most about. Especially Riya after last episode.

Is it bad I don't care about the others...?

Maybe not 'don't care' as in 'dislike'. Hunter's okay even if I'm disappointed he wasn't actually aro. (Not a deal breaker) I want to see Aiden not suffer for once. And James... yeah no he can fuck off.

Anyway, that's enough of me babbling, let's get into the episode:

Oh wait are we final five?!

Oh shit I didn't realize that...

Oh.

Oh I hate it.

I have something for cuddling, okay? I see art of a couple cuddling, I am in awe. (I wouldn't say a kink cause I'm asexual, so I don't really feel turned on by things)

So I'm CONFLICTED right now cause I'm torn between "Oh this is so cute" and "Oh I hate it let go of him James"

"It seems like we fell asleep watching the movie."

What movie? Where'd you get a movie screen in the cabin?

"If we hadn't watched that cheesy drama movie, that wouldn't have happened."

"Oh sorry, some of us like art and not just those bloodbaths you call horror movies."

Oho! They're bickering like an old married couple! That MUST mean they're in love!! That must mean they're healthy now!

"Have you seen my phone?"

"I made you watch the movie so you'd fall asleep. Then I stole it. And SMASHED IT. AND BURNED IT. AND THREW IT IN THE LAKE. AND TOOK IT TO THE HOSPITAL WITH KAROL!!"

"Hey man, didn't your mom ever tell you that you shouldn't play with your food?"

Rosa, I don't think that's how you greet people.

"Are you okay, Hunter?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. You just voted off my not girlfriend. That's all."

Idk, I feel like they were so close to making Hunter's story interesting by subverting the plotline a bit. By making him aromantic and struggling to feel the romance the girls feel about him.

But no. It was just a typical love triangle of which girl he wants.

All I'll say is that while I'm not offended by the in paper route they took with this storyline, if I was writing this season and this plotline, I would've had Hunter have a queer crisis and realize he's aromantic, struggle to come out to the girls, and Allyson and Tess bond and find love in each other, bis gotta stick together, and in the end the three accept each other as one happy consensual polycule. Not in the norm of what you expect from a straight relationship, but a found family that satisfies all of them.

"I'm not in the mood to talk right now."

Wow. Don't do Rosa like that. She offered to listen.

"How is the best intern in the world?"

Oh she is desperate to be nice XD

She even feeds him! She's already better than Chris!

"Om."

XD

Okay the way he sounded when he took that bite was not normal XD

Omg the voice acting in this show sometimes XD

I think since I expected it to be bad, I'm not AS bothered by it, except maybe a few lines. Sometimes it's so bad it's funny, you know what I mean?

I mean it's better in Season 1, obviously.

"All this good treatment feels kind of... strange..."

I KNOW. A boss treats their co-workers fairly and kindly?! Who ever heard such a thing?!

I mean I shouldn't talk. Cause in my work place, my bosses actually consider my feelings and make sure I'm doing well!

"But I think if I win, I will invest all the money in my daughter's future."

And that's why I'm routing for Rosa to win. She deserves it.

"I'm here."

Oh geez.

"I HEARD YOU WERE TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE, HUH AIDEN?!?!? WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?!?!"

Every time, I swear. Aiden CANNOT talk to ANYONE else besides James.

"I was looking for my perfume, but I think I lost it."

Awwww, honey, nooooooo, I'm sorry.

Okay so there's a thief running amuck.

I thought it would be Riya, but if she lost something too, then maybe it's Hunter and he's trying to get the two alliances to turn on each other so he can stay in the game.

Or Riya or James are bluffing.

"Hunter can't win today's challenge."

Yes. Thank you. He's the only guy that's won immunity all merge.

For bullshit reasons very time.

"Wouldn't that be playing dirty?"

Rosa, no. That IS a valid, impersonal, and good game strategy to have.

It's not like we're killing him.

"I know how to differentiate the game from friendship, but that doesn't mean we should play dirty. And the way everyone accepts so easily scares me a little."

Omg Rosa I love you.

I LOVE how genuine she is compared to everyone else. It's so refreshing.

She's genuine but she's also not stupid, you know?

*Gets a golf ad*

XD

Rosa, you don't want to play the game dirty, go play golf instead!

"Excellent work Oliver..."

XD

"Yaaaaaayyy, that's so great, I LOVE safety..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"

Same, girl.

"James, Aiden, and Riya have agreed to align the challenge for you to be eliminated."

YO WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THIS?!

"I understand. I would have done the same if I were Tess and Ally."

Oh, he's cool.

GIRL YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD.

"James, I know you're just upset about losing your phone, but we need to focus on finding Hunter."

Yeah James, it's called withdrawal!

If their plan fails because James is too pissed about his phone, that's ANOTHER point against him.

"What if I told you I didn't lose it?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I mean I didn't lose it."

XD

I'm sorry XD

I KNOW what he's about to say, but I get this out of context thing in my head.

"You didn't lose it?"

"I didn't lose it."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I didn't lose it."

"I know you didn't lose it. how did you not lose it?"

"I mean I didn't lose it."

"Can you say SOMETHING besides you didn't lose it PLEASE?!?!"

"...pumpkin pie."

Idk.

"That's a very serious and rushed assumption."

Yes it is.

One time in school, I lost a highlighter, and I immediately came to the conclusion someone stole it.

Turns out whoever did it smashed it on the floor so I couldn't find it.

And I got accused of false accusations.

I had an AWFUL school life and EVERYONE HATED ME.

Yes even teachers hated me.

"And who do you think did it?"

"You tell me. Who is the only person in the camp with that background."

😨

NO.

UH UH.

NO.

DON'T YOU DARE.

She has an idol! She can just play it!

OH GOD HE'S FERAL.

"What's wrong with that guy?"

YOU'RE TARGETING HIM, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

"Your stress levels say otherwise."

Wait, is being nice KILLING her?!

Holy shit, THAT'S why McCleans are sociopaths! Because if they're nice they DIE!

"I felt bad that the four of us were attacking him."

You're too good for this game!

"This is ridiculous. It's like Hunter had prepared beforehand."

Let's be fair.

Even if Rosa DIDN'T tell him, if Hunter had a brain, he'd figure out that the others would be targeting him. So he'd play like this anyway.

"Excellent Rosa! Just like we planned!"

"So when Hunter is distracted, we all attack him at the same time!"

Oh wait that's smart on Riya's part! Holy shit, SLAY QUEEN!!!

"It's just a game. You did what you thought was right for you and it doesn't bother me at all."

Aw that's sweet.

"You warned me of your joint attack even if it hurt your alliance. You're a good person."

Yeah, about that...

ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU GUYS ARE BAD SHOTS

"It's time to hunt down Hunter!"

👏

HEY QUEEN

HEY QUEEN, I AM NOT WORTHY

SLAY!!!!

SLAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!

UH, HE DROWNED.

How do you keep the balloon underwater?

"The camper with the most intact balloons wins."

Oh okay, so don't shoot. Rosa and James have two.

Sorry, Rosa and AIDEN have two, my bad.

I'm not high this time, I swear.

"Let's wait for time to run out, and let Aiden win."

That is a perfect plan.

YOU FUCKING BITCH

YOU MOTHERFUCKING HYPOCRITE

Murder him. Murder him. Murder him.

Don't actually murder him, but slay him! SLAY HIM!

THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU JUST SUGGESTED YOU BITCH

SHE IS YOUR ALLY!!

JAMES, I FUCKING HATE YOU!!

"And that was for stealing my phone!"

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT SHE STOLE YOUR PHONE

YOU JUST DECIDED TO ACCUSE HER, WITH YOUR ONLY PROOF BEING "Well she shoplifted before"

I HATE YOU JAMES

If James gets away with this, let alone wins, I fucking hate this season.

Okay maybe that'd be too mean. But I wouldn't like it.

And now you all lose.

Good job.

Good FUCKING JOB.

...wait what?

NO WAIT I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON

IT'S RIYA, IT'S GOTTA BE RIYA BECAUSE RIYA WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH ROSA THE WHOLE TIME AND COULD SHOVE THAT STUFF IN HER BAG-

SHE SABOTAGED ROSA

OH MY GOD...

DID MY QUEEN SLAY?!??!

DID SHE MISUSE HER SLAY PASS?!?!?

Wait... how many slay passes did I give her again?

No no, I don't care that Hunter won. Big whoopty do. I need to see how many slay passes I gave Riya throughout the season.

THIS IS TOTALLY MORE IMPORTANT

"I... want Yul to go to the Orange team."

YUUUUUUUUUUSSSS

SLAY QUEEN

SLAY QUEEN👑

DUMP HIS ASS ON THE LOSING TEAM AND GET RID OF HIS ASS

Counter: 2

"We can dominate the game together and you can beat the shit out of us in the semi-final."

Oh so you WANT to lose to Riya?

Heyo, don't tempt her to slay, Rosa. SHE'LL DO IT.

"Huh, now that you're encouraging me to slay, I think maybe I should slay, you know? Helps with my broke-ass career. People LOVE IT when people SLAY."

Counter: 5

I'm sorry for the disrespect, Riya! You can slay! This is my way of saying sorry, queen!

I love Rosa and don't want anyone to slay her, but I'm also like "DO IT YOU WON'T. DO IT YOU WON'T."

Counter: 7

"Karol is right. I must not forget my goal. I haven't stopped failing in my work, that's why I came here. This is my last chance to be someone! And I don't want to return to India with my family!"

SLAY GIRL!! SLAY!!

Counter: 9

"So when Hunter is distracted, we all attack him at the same time!"

Oh wait that's smart on Riya's part! Holy shit, SLAY QUEEN!!!

Counter: 10

HEY QUEEN

HEY QUEEN, I AM NOT WORTHY

SLAY!!!!

SLAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!

Counter: 12

I mean, it wasn't as many times as I said 'Steal The Idol'

Which, I'm pretty sure THAT counter is a meme on my Disventure Camp Blogs now...

(Either me or someone should do a counter of how many times I said something along the lines of 'steal the idol' throughout these reaction posts)

BUT STILL.

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS MY FAULT

I MEANT SLAY AS IN FLEX HOW GORGEOUS AND SASSY YOU ARE 💅

I DIDN'T MEAN SLAY AS IN BETRAYAL🔪

I could be babbling about nothing cause they didn't say she did this yet. Then I'm making a lunatic out of myself.

BUT DID I FREAKING CALL IT FROM WHAT, EPISODE 3? (Yes, it was Episode 3)

"You better pack your bags, because you're leaving tonight."

GODDAMMIT BUT I ALSO LOVE ROSA AND DON'T WANT HER TO GO.

I'M SO TORN.

I mean, she has Hunter on her side, right? So if Riya doesn't flip she's fine and they can boot James here.

GEE, IF ONLY ROSA HAD AN IDOL OR SOMETHING THAT COULD NULIFY THE VOTES.

IF ONLY, AM I RIGHT?

Add that to the counter.

UGH HONEY NOOOOOO I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO

I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA WIN

WHAT ABOUT HER DAUGHTER?!

"It's about Tess and Ally, they both like me. I think I feel the same way about them too."

HUNTER THEY'RE GONE, I DON'T CARE

I'M CONCERNED FOR ROSA

"If the three of you are happy together, why change it?"

THANK YOU ROSA.

"I don't know, because it's normal, right?"

This man doesn't know what the LGBTQIA+ Community is, I swear.

"Connor said I had to pick one."

Well screw Connor, who cares?

"Maybe it was inappropriate to bother you with my problems."

You and Jake would get along.

And you and me, probably.

But YEAH. I want the focus to be on ROSA.

"I wouldn't worry about that."

"Yeah, unfortunately, I don't have any advantages on me that had the power to negate the votes against me... you know, like an immunity idol or something. It's very unfortunate."

YEAH, SHE'S DYING. SHE'S ACTUALLY DYING FROM GOODNESS.

"If someone has a totem..."

SAY NO MORE!

"Me! I have an immunity totem and I want to use it now!"

LET'S GO!

"It's right... here? What?"

YOU DIDN'T CHECK YOUR POCKETS BEFORE YOU GOT TO TRIBAL?!?!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?

ROSA NOOOO

I WAS SARCASTIC

I WAS BEING SARCASTIC BACK THERE, I THOUGHT SHE ACTUALLY HAD IT

THIS IS MY FAULT, NOOOO

"Did someone steal it from you?"

Of course no one steals idols around here. Because nobody here takes my advice ever.

Also fuck off, James.

'ROSA'

🎵I fucking hate my life and everyone here...🎵

'JAMES'

🎵I hope it's James but I think it won't because🎵

🎵Because these shows fucking hate me...🎵

🎵Why the hell am I singing? I have no idea🎵

'ROSA'

🎵Maybe cause I don't want to listen to this BULLSHIT🎵

🎵Lalalalalala I'm not listening...🎵

'JAMES'

🎵PLEEEEEEEEEEESSEEEE OH BAAAAAAAABBBYYY DON'T GO🎵

🎵SIMPLE AND CLEAN IS THE WAY THAT YOU'RE-🎵

😭

I'm not actually crying, that's just the emoji. Imagine me making a whining roar that sounds like a dying cat.

I THOUGHT ROSA WAS GONNA WIN

I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU

HER DAUGHTER TOO, OH MY GOD

SHE CAME HERE FOR HER DAUGHTER

"I just want to say that I'm leaving with a clear conscience. I played fair, I did the right thing, helped everyone I could, and didn't steal anything!"

Tell em.

GIRL HAD A FOOLPROOF GAME STRAT, AND SHE STILL LOST.

She had a secure locked in alliance. The team swap did not shake her. She got along with everyone to prevent herself as a target. She was a strong player. She was finding idols.

SHE HAD EVERYTHING GOING FOR HER.

AND SHE STILL LOST.

"I don't know what happened, but you have to be careful of James."

I know, right?

"Don't worry, I have a plan to deal with James."

AS SHE SHOULD SLAY.

"Riya, I didn't steal anything."

"I know, Rosa. It was me."

*I got up and paced around*

BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

I KNEW IT!!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!! I CALLED IT!!!!!

I FUCKING CALLED IT!!!!!!

OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO

I WAS RIGHT?!?!??!

Guys, I swear this is blind. I swear. I swear on my oath.

Look. There's NO BAR ON THE FUTURE EPISODES.

THIS IS BLIND. I SWEAR. I DID NOT KNOW.

THIS IS PROOF.

DON'T THROW ACCUSATIONS.

RIIIIIIIIYYYYAAAAAAA

WHY DID YOU SLLAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY?!?!??!

WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO ME?!??!?!??!

I'm torn.

I'm so torn.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL ABOUT MY BEST GIRL SLAYING MY OTHER BEST GIRL?!?!

Do I side with Riya going forward??? I-I don't know-I feel like I have to! I feel like because it's my fault, I'm OBLIGATED to side with her!!

She has me wrapped around her finger!! I don't know what to do! Because I want to hate her, but I JUST CAN'T!

I don't know what the popular take on Riya is. I only knew what the takes were on Ellie and Jake. I knew people hated Jake. BUT I LOVED HIM. I knew SHIT about the Season 2 cast.

But I NEED to PROCESS THIS...

RIYA I DON'T KNOW IF I LOVE YOU OR I LOVE HATING YOU OR I HATE LOVING YOU, YOU HAVE ME QUESTIONING MY SANITY, GIRL!!!

ARE YOU EVIL?! IS THAT IT?! Or are you just playing the game?

"I stole James' phone and put it in your backpack along with my perfume. I also took your immunity totem."

...

Okay?

Idk what you want me to say. I have nothing to say about that.

"Did you frame me?!"

What do you think she's trying to say? She's coming clean.

"Did you make me look like a thief in front of everyone?"

I mean that SUCKS because Rosa had to steal to survive, so this is some TRAUMA for her.

But also, getting pissed over a PHONE, I think is still on James.

Holy shit I'm defending Riya right now-holy shit I AM stanning her still, oh shit...

Oh no... oh no what has happened to me...?

"I was acting, Rosa. The boys didn't doubt it for a second."

I mean she's right. I can't say that's invalid of a strat.

"Riya, why did you do this to me?"

"We can betray each other inside the game and still be friends outside of it. Just like you betrayed the alliance by spoiling the plan to Hunter."

I... SOUND. Okay. That's sound.

CAUSE HEY, JAMES CAN PUT PEOPLE IN THE HOSPITAL AND CALL IT A STRAT, BUT RIYA CAN'T? LET'S BE REAL NOW.

"These are things that happen in this game."

Yeah. Yes it is.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

"The problem isn't the game. It's you Riya."

OH SHIT.

"You let the competition change you. You may win the million, but you will be alone again."

OH SHIT...

SO THAT'S WHERE THIS IS GOING...

"Come on Rosa! Don't be mad!"

"Hmph, I am not mad, I am disappointed."

SHIT...

And that's it.

She lost her ONLY friend here.

SHE'S SO UPSET ABOUT IT, OH MY GOD...

"Everything went as planned. When I stole the things, I didn't know whether to blame Hunter or Rosa, but I came up with a plan that could take me far, and unfortunately, I had to sacrifice Rosa."

I mean, I have to give mad respect that she's owning up to it.

"Yeah. I played dirty. Whatcha gonna do about it? I AM A QUEEN AND I HAVE GOLDEN'S SLAYING SUPPORT. I HAVE A RIGHT!"

Oh the goodness killed her. Well, RIP.

Okay, after thinking about it... HOLY SHIT RIYA IS SMART.

Seriously, think about it!

Final FIVE. Hunter KEEPS winning immunity no matter what they try.

Sure, she's allied with James and Aiden as well, BUT if Hunter wins immunity, which is what ended up happening, James and Aiden WON'T turn on each other.

So it'd either be her or Rosa. And since everyone likes Rosa, then Riya would go 5th place if she did nothing.

So her best move was to pin the blame on Rosa and get everyone to turn on her.

And if they find out she did this or Hunter wins immunity again? DOESN'T MATTER. SHE'S GUARANTEED FINALS ANYWAY.

IT'S ACTUALLY SO SMART.

I mean, I HATE this plan because it sacrifices Rosa, WHO DESERVED TO WIN OUT OF ALL THESE GUYS.

BUT

I HAVE to respect the hell out of her.

Oh my god I love Riya... I-guys, I think I might be supporting Riya.

I genuinely want Riya to win this season.

I get she might be evil, but it's Total Drama so who cares look what show you're watching, BUT THAT WOULD BE SO POETIC AND BRILLIANT.

She came here as an outsider outcast with no social life and desperately wanted it. But because of the game and what her career needed to succeed, she had to ditch both that and her morality so she could find success.

SHE WINS AND SHE SLAYS, BUT SHE WON'T BE HAPPY. HER LIFE WILL BE MISERABLE AND AN ENDLESS CYCLE OF ACTING SHE CAN'T BREAK FROM.

I WANT RIYA TO WIN NOW. THAT WOULD BE SUCH A GREAT ENDING. TOTAL DRAMA WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

As much as I would LOVE it if Julia had something like that, but you know, Season 2 of the TDI Reboot fell off the deep end at the third act. I KINDA warmed up to it, but I still don't like the last third of that season. (Episodes 1-8 were great though)

I feel like I'm obligated to as well, because I'm the one that kept telling her to slay. So I've been pushing it XD.

But yeah, RIYA SUPPORTER AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. THIS WOMAN SHOULD WIN AND THIS WOMAN SHOULD SLAY AND THIS WOMAN SHOULD GET HER UNHAPPY ENDING.

YOU WANT TO WIN THIS GAME, YOU DO IT SWEETIE.

YOU WANT TO DESTROY THESE BOYS, YOU DO IT SWEETIE.

YOU WANT TO BE A COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT GOING FORWARD, I WILL PROBABLY BE TOO STUBBORN TO HATE YOU.

I'm a damn hypocrite for this, aren't I? How the fuck is James still here?

Also NOOOOO ROSA I'M SORRY

Rosa was so good too... it sucks. It sucks so much. I LOVED Rosa. She deserved to win, too. And I thought she was gonna win.

She was kinda giving me Owen and Wayne energy. Except she was actually a bit strategic with her alliances and finding idols and making good terms with everyone. She would've been a GREAT winner.

AND SHE HAD A SYMPATHETIC MOTIVE TO HELP HER DAUGHTER. LIKE, WHYYYY?!??!

Though let's be real. Riya hurt her personally. Riya could donate the ENTIRETY of the million dollars to Rosa if she wanted, and Rosa STILL would not forgive her or accept her back.

So props for Rosa having a backbone.

Alright, this show got my interest again. I want to see how this plays out. I'm supporting a mastermind, oh my god...

[naffeclipse]

Heya Naff, slightly late but Happy New Year!! 🎆 Hope you’re doing well and I wish you much inspiration and many good things this coming year! <33

I had a little query pop to mind recently if that's okay:  what if reader in the Deep Dreams universe had megalophobia and/or perhaps even thalassophobia? 

I know this might make less sense for fisher Y/N as we know them, so it could hypothetically be some other person, a friend or a future Y/N who makes friends with juvenile Sun and Moon and then only later discovers they've grown to be big sea beasties - maybe seeing them in their dreams is fine but for real it's a different matter, at least until they get used to them :)

How might the boys react?

Having a slight bit of megalophobia myself, the best way I can describe my experience is a gentle anxiety with the need to seek shelter and cower there, but people's experiences can vary (and possibly change depending on the conditions). Also that kinda makes it 10x funnier that I have an affinity for giant creatures xD

Hi, Piixel! Happy New Year to you, too, babe! ♥ Thank you so much, ahhh, you're much too kind! :D I hope you have a beautiful year and an abundance of lovely things happen to you!

Oh ho! Fear of big things and of large bodies of water? I'm sure that totally wouldn't be a source of great fear and conflict with a poor little reader soulbond to a couple of mers hehe (The Sea Beast is an excellent movie btw!! ♥)

Y/N with megalophobia and thalassophobia wouldn't be caught dead on the ocean. You have dreams about two massive mers, and those creatures are always sweet and gentle and attentive, but you're still convinced it's some weird nightmare (even though no real spooky events unfold in said dreams). The mers coax and plead with you to go out to sea so you can all meet, but that's a solid no from you.

Then through a very terrible chance of fate, you're on a boat for whatever reason but very much against your desires, before you get swept away by a rouge wave and left behind. You're alone, struggling to swim in a massive ocean when—oh goodie, that looks like a giant mer floating right below you. What else could go wrong today?

Needless to say, after seeing Moon, then Sun, and realizing that these massive mers you've had dreams about are here in the flesh, you pass out from sheer fright. It's a lot for you to wrap your brain around, but when you come to, you're on Sun's back as he floats gently along the surface, keeping you dry as you begin losing your mind out of the horror of it all while Moon watches you from close by. You can't jump into the great wide ocean to escape the mer carrying you but you can't stay on the thing's scaly back either, so you may have a panic attack. Sun stops and turns his head back to give you his full attention while Moon tries to take you in his hands but that does not help your situation. They can feel your panic and horror, but you can feel confusion and distress at not being able to help, and in fact, them being the cause of your fear.

Their attempts to calm you down are met with resistance as you want to be anywhere but here in the ocean with two giant mers.

Sun and Moon are bewildered and upset, to say the least. You did often seem nervous in your little dream rendezvous but they thought they did a lovely job of reassuring you it was alright and that they would never hurt you and there's nothing to be scared of. Turns out, not quite. So, they take you safely back to the island shore where you more or less escape from the massive monsters and flee inland. But, there's not a whole lot of places to go on the little island and you've got to sleep eventually, so Sun and Moon decide to spend more personal time with you and show you that really, they're the two baby mers you happened to scoop up one summer day when you were just a tot and didn't realize how scary some things could be.

They'll be patient. You'll see that there is no place safer than with them in the water. They'll help you face your fears and then reunite with you.

If you ever leave your house again, that is.

[shychick-52]

My physical disability (long post)

Given that it's Disability Pride Month, I wanted to share a bit of my own experience.

After experiencing HORRIBLE back pain for weeks in late 2016 (the doctor didn't send me for an MRI or any deeper scan after the x-ray didn't show anything), I woke up one morning in January 2017 with literally ZERO balance. Like, I could move my legs, but I still couldn't walk. It was the most terrifying sensation.

Called the ambulance, they took me to the hospital where I had the proper scan done, and it turned out to be a massive tumor pressing on my spine and crushing the nerves. Because it had been growing for months, everyone agreed it was a miracle I wasn't totally paralyzed. (The tumor turned out to be cancerous, and I had several more tumors in other places too, including my stomach, ovaries, liver, and kidneys). After it was removed, I still had zero balance.

Well, the entire five months I was in the hospital getting treatment wasn't fun, made even worse by my destroyed mobility. During my stay, I switched back and forth between a wheelchair and a walker. I was so depressed, terrified I'd never walk properly again and convinced my life was over. Even after I was discharged from the hospital, and still continued to use a wheelchair and walker, I can't count how many times I freaking bawled. I had very poor control of my legs, and had to look down at them at all times to know what they were doing so I didn't trip.

And for the first time in my life, I was met with challenges that able-bodied people don't have to worry about (the worst of which were stairs). I could finally appreciate how frustrating it is when able-boded people selfishly use the handicapped stall in the washroom (when the other ones are perfectly available) when you have to go!

Not long after I got out of the hospital, I started attending physical therapy. I worked for months and months, and graduated from a walker to two canes to just one cane. I practiced walking in the pool by my place (with aqua-therapy, I didn't have to worry about injuring myself if I fell in the water, and I fell plenty at first). I gradually got better, but it was HARD.

Shortly after my very first visit to physical therapy, my therapist diagnosed me with spasticity in my legs and feet. That's a condition caused by a spinal cord injury; the injury to the nerves in the spine cause the signals between the nervous system and the legs/feet to be thrown completely out-of-whack and fail to communicate properly (which was why I couldn't sense what my feet were doing unless I looked at them), forcing the leg muscles to be in a permanent state of horrible stiffness and constant spasms. It's a horrible feeling.

Finally, in the later part of 2019, I no longer needed a cane. I could walk just fine on my own (for the most part), and I haven't had to rely on walking aids since then, and I don't have to watch my feet to know how they're moving when I walk. But the spasticity- which is permanent- remains. I manage it with medication, which helps the stiffness a bit. And my biggest challenge remains stairs; I absolutely cannot go up and down stairs (especially up) without a banister. But because of how generally stiff my muscles are, my balance will never be perfect. And I can't really run, although I can walk just as fast as I used to.

Cold weather, rain, and atmospheric pressure all make the spasticity worse.

[thequeenofsarcaasm]

Do you have a certain moot that love a media (anime/manga) that you also love but have a very different view than you? But somehow both of you still friends for years.... I have a moot like that.

I'm a multishipper at heart, so I love shipping from any media that I consume (especially shounen anime/manga). And all my ships are non canon m/m & f/f....My moot also love non canon ships, but only for m/f...

Now, after we spend 6 months to binge read all Naruto manga (because both of us did not follow the anime when we were little), do you know what happened?

I said to them, "Wow, now I get it why people ship Naruto/Sasuke, they 're totally gay for each other. And their bond is special..." And they said, "I wish Naruto end up with Sakura and Sasuke just end up alone as the last uchiha.." And I was, 😳😮...They said : "What? Naruto and Sasuke are platonic soulmate. They're like brothers...."

Like from any shounen, they can came up with het ship, I cannot get it...

When we started JJK, they said to me, "I ship Yuuji with Nobara, their dynamic is great..." And I was, "Dude, how about Maki? Nobara/Maki and Yuuji/Megumi are way more sense and better.."

They said, "I ship Maki and Yuta, sorry let's just agree to disagree on these ships..."

I answered, "Fine, let me guess, you ship Gojo with Utahime, right?"

They said, "Damn it...! I want to. I do when I first start the series. But then, JJK 0 and Hidden Inventory arc happen...And when Gojo got unsealed, the first thing he did was to got Geto's body to mourn him. And airport scene, the first face he saw was Geto...? I have to be blind to not saw the subtext. For this you won. I can't help but ship Gojo with Geto...."

What do you think 🤭?

Shipping Sasuke with Sakura should be punishable by death.

As a self proclaimed queen, I only surround myself with people who have exactly the same opinions as me (or convince them that I’m right) so it rarely happens that we have such divergent opinions/j

Tell them to watch/Naruto again. I feel like StSg might have freed them from the curse of compulsory heterosexuality so they need to revisit the story and form a new opinion.

[rhysintherain]

Huh, i think I forgot to post this when I did it, because it's still lurking in my drafts... Anyway, have it now.

Tag people to get to know them better. Tagged by @blackjackkent .

Tagging @invisible-goats , @sassyminnesotan , @solavillain , @fixomnia-scribble

Last Song: Angel's Punishment (XX version) by Lacuna Coil (because I'm back on teenage goth music, apparently)

Currently Watching: House MD. The chicken bet is now my favorite thing ever. Also re-listening to season 4(?) of the DnDnD podcast. Highly recommend.

3 Ships: Varric/Hawke form Dragon Age 2 (because chaos); Isobel/Aylin from BG3 (sure, bury your gays. Just make sure you dig them up again so they can live happily ever after); Jaheira/Rasaad from BG2 (@blackjackkent fine, you convinced me. You're not TOTALLY alone over there. Looking forward to the next chapter.)

Favorite Color: Orange. Also like dark blue (most of my gear) and dark or army green (most of my clothes).

Currently Consuming: DnDnD podcast, all things Baldur's Gate, The Magnus Protocol (which I'm behind on).

First Ship: y'all want me to remember that? It was a Long Time Ago. Melissa/Rex from Scott Westerfeld's Midnighters? Cloud/Tifa from Final Fantasy 7?

Place of Birth: Vancouver Island

Current Location: Northern British Columbia

Relationship Status: Single. Not opposed to the concept of dating, but I'm a) picky and b) not good at thinking or forming sentences around the handful of people I'm actually interested in.

Last Movie: Movies aren't my thing. They're usually too long for my attention to hold for a whole one, and hard to convince myself to go back to when I know there's only like 20 minutes left. Probably a very bad streaming service monster movie (wait, probably the latest Jeepers Creepers. Like I said, Bad.)

Currently Working On: theoretically Saints and Zealots, but I haven't done much on that lately. Some character writing for Skye (my half-elf druid) in BG3. And more practically painting and some renos on my house because it's spring and I live in a construction site.

[magnetothemagnificent]

So this is maybe a weird ask, sorry. I'm jewish and still working on reconnecting to my reform community after a crisis of faith years ago. I have a gentile friend (Catholic) who recently started dating a conservative Jewish guy, and he's started pushing really hard for her to convert to Judaism for the sake of their future children. Way too early for these conversations. But she's asking me for advice because she doesn't feel enough of a calling to convert, and I am still relearning myself and not an eloquent person. Could you help me with specific reasons why this would be a bad idea and information on exactly how different jews view the religions of parents for their children?

So, this is definately an issue in the Jewish community: Single Jews who want to only marry Jewish, either for themselves or their parents, and then try to convince their non-Jewish partner to convert. I think this is absolutely wrong. Conversion should be 100% a personal choice, not influenced by any other outside pressure. I know a couple that broke up when one partner was pursuing conversion because she wanted to make sure it was 100% her choice and not influenced consciously or unconsciously by love for her Jewish boyfriend (after her conversion was completed they reconnected by chance and now they're happily married with kids). If a Jew wants to only date/marry other Jews, that's totally fine. I myself ideally only ever want to marry Jewish. But trying to pressure their non-Jewish partner to convert....that's morally and ethically wrong. I think if someone wants to only ever marry Jewish, then they should just....only pursue other Jews. It's not fair to themself and their non-Jewish partner, otherwise.

For your friend, tell her that if she doesn't feel a calling to convert, she shouldn't convert, and she should tell her boyfriend that. If he decides that's a dealbreaker, fine. Better to break up then to be in a relationship founded on pressure.

[frankensteined]

31 Days of Dragon Age (Day 2)

missed day 1 so i'll just jam both prompts into this post

Introduce your Hero of Ferelden & Favorite Origins romance

Oct 01 - Introduce your Hero of Ferelden

i don't have any images currently because my origins playthroughs all took place on the ps3 or a PC that i no longer have, but a rundown of my main three HoF incoming: neira mahariel - DW rogue with the ranger spec.

she was actually my second playthrough, after i used my first one to acquaint myself with the game and its lore before i dove into the roleplaying aspect of it. neira started out as your typically distrustful dalish elf, who resisted becoming a grey warden every step of the way. she didn't care if she was tainted and slated to die, she did not want to leave her clan, and she resented duncan for dragging her away from them. ultimately, she fell in love with zevran, though not until well after she'd gotten closure and properly grieved for her first love, tamlen. neira's seriousness mingled well with zev's more playful approach to the horrors of life, and that created a healthy bubble for them to be vulnerable and supportive with one another. ultimately, left anora to rule ferelden on her own, since alistair didn't want to become king and neira didn't want him to have to give up "his clan" (the wardens), but did convince him to undergo the dark ritual with morrigan. has since disappeared with zevran in search of a cure for the calling and according to the experts (my headcanon), they're doing just fine now, thanks.

syrill amell - mage (obviously) with the spirit healer spec.

he was a smartass, irreverent brat at the circle, but in that way that people still liked him, even when he was getting on their nerves. vain and prideful, he was also totally the type of mage that a demon would have loooooved to get ahold of...if not for the fact that syrill was also a gigantic nerd and studied frequently to avoid falling into the pitfalls of becoming an abomination. jowan was his buddy, in a "sidekick" sense, and it definitely annoyed syrill that jowan went and did...All Of That behind his back, but he still did what it took to free him and keep him safe when the opportunity arose. truly hated being in the circle (though not to the 'escapist' degree of anders), and truly, truly hated the templars, so he jumped at the chance to leave when duncan rolled in (ignoring all the blood everywhere and all that). he and alistair did not get along at all, but he fell all over himself to impress morrigan the second that he met her. somehow, his cringefail attempts at charm and his really nice hair won her over, and they fell in love. he spared loghain, not wanting to risk losing someone who knew what they were doing when it came to big battles, and alistair stormed off, never to be seen by syrill again. oops. post-game, he actually grew up quite a bit as the warden commander, but he never let go of his love for morrigan, often wondering about her and the child they supposedly had together. come witch hunt, he went with her without hesitating, and instantly loved their son the second that he met him. lived with his family for years in the crossroads, became a Certified Fun Dad, and only left them to try to cure the calling. as far as i'm concerned, he's currently hovering over kieran's shoulder while morrigan is away, not ready to see his baby boy (read: a 20 year old man) move out on his own.

vaye brosca - DW rogue with the assassin spec.

Hardened Criminal with a heart of gold. we love that trope, right? vaye's another warden who didn't want to leave her home, but her sister's pleading ultimately prompted her to do so. everything that vaye did was for rica's sake anyways, so she left, and was a fish out of water every step of the way since then. her go-to response to most problems was Knife, which her companions needed to break her of that habit really quickly (or, in zevran's case, teach her how to wield it with a little more grace). every single awkward, socially-inept dialogue choice was put to good use with this character, but somehow that ended up making her blisteringly honest and very capable of cutting through the bullshit in order to tell when she was being manipulated. ironically, fell in love with leliana because she was able to see through her layers and they found common ground with their bloodied pasts. quickly became the squishiest of romances, and vaye really loved gifting her the nug (something from her home that leliana didn't yet understand), and the flowers (something from leliana's home, that vaye didn't yet understand). since vaye understood that "king = power = safety", she nudged alistair to marry anora and rule jointly, and when she was named paragon, she was happy to see her sister elevated to nobility so that she could marry king bhelen and also enjoy that much safety. is currently living in a villa on the waking sea, surrounded by nugs, waiting for when leliana can come home.

Oct 02 - Favorite Origins romance

Actual Love Of My Life, Zevran Arainai

on my aforementioned tester first playthrough, i made a city elf and romanced alistair and went around flirting with whoever i could, just to get a sense of what sorts of characters i was dealing with. the inevitable "time to choose" conversation with zevran, though, really surprised me and gave me serious enough pause that it decided my first "real playthrough"'s romance for me right away. i was struck by how zevran, who'd been such a flirty, casual guy in this department up until then, was making it very clear that he didn't want to hurt alistair with any continued dalliances, given how much the other guy was clearly falling. he was sincere and respectful, and didn't even lose approval when i opted to have my tester warden break things off between them, and that kind of care and maturity really won me over.

fastforward to my neira playthrough, and that sincerity and deep, terrified love really, really solidified itself as an rpg favourite for me. you really feel the progression from "for fun" and "for life" with this relationship. it has its silly moments ("is there something in your tent that needs...assassinating?" or the dirty antivan poetry that he tells you just to make you laugh), and it has its truly moving moments (the earring scene, especially if you ask him if he's proposing, his farewell scene at the game before the final battle). and in the end, he stays with your warden through everything. yes, his DA2 appearance was fully bugged on import so i never actually saw him acknowledge the romance to isabela, and yes, i'm still bummed that he's the only origins romance that didn't get an appearance in inquisition, but a romanced zevran is still stated to be traveling with the warden in their letter, so he's still with them, after all these years, keeping them safe and helping to save their life. again. all because they spared his at a time when he didn't care if he lost it.

there's something really lovely about your pc being a character's first love, but there's something even lovelier, to me, about them being a character's last love, and the zevran romance is exactly that. it's still my number one of the series, no matter how much more content some of the others have in comparison.

[countrymusiclover]

18 - Decisions and Realizations

Part 19

Family is More than Blood

@secretdreamlandmentality

Alina’s pov

Lizzie and I were hanging out in the kitchen since we didn't have class until later that evening. She was eating some ice cream from the freezer eyeing me with a smirk on her face. "So I have some questions and since you're literally a hybrid supernatural being I think you can answer some of them."

"Oh you do huh. Dare I ask why me and not my mom or your own?" I asked her to hoist myself up onto the kitchen island.

She stabbed her spoon into her ice cream cup. "Come on, Lina. Pretty please for me."

"Hmm….fine." I gave into the Gemini siphoner witches request seeing as I had nothing better to do and I enjoyed her company.

She sat her cup down near my side clasping her hands together blabbering off like this was her first crush or something. “Okay so I met this strange guy out in the Old Mill and he has this kind of old accent.”

“Like my dad?” I asked her.

She nodded in agreement talking again. “Kind of like the type that uses the term fancy or whatever. Anyway his name is Sebastian and I need your help figuring out what type of supernatural he is.”

“How do you think I would know anything about what he is?” Tilting my head at her I was confused.

Lizzie puts her hands on my knees meeting my gaze with a half serious expression on her face. “Because I need to know if he is stalking me to just have sex or is he stalking me because he likes me.”

"Why should I know anything like that, Lizzie." I spat at the blonde in front of me.

She rolled her eyes with an innocent chuckle like I was kidding. "Uh because you and Jackson have been married for almost five years now. So I assumed that you could pick up on a guys tell."

"No, Lizzie. That’s ridiculous." Shaking my head at her.

The Saltzman twin made a confused face. "So you’re telling me Jackson doesn't tell you that he wants to have sex with you?"

"He does. I just…I'm waiting until I'm ready." Avoiding her gaze I knew my cousin in front of me wasn't a virgian anymore.

Lizzie blinked her eyes and let the room fill with silence trying to find the right words but she had none for this type of situation. "So you’re telling me you're a virgin, Alina.."

"Yeah I am. Is that bad?' I questioned her.

She takes my hands in hers, sending me a kind smile knowing I was self conscious now. "No, cuz. It's totally fine. I just assumed because you're parents keep popping out kids that maybe you and Jackson would-"

"I don't want to hear about my parents and their sex life, Lizzie!" Slapping a hand over her mouth I cut the witch off feeling my face turning bright red at the thought.

She held her hands up in surrender backing away from me. “Chill out, werewitch. But it’s the truth and we both know it. I mean they're five kids….oh it’s time. Wish me luck. I have a date with Sebastian.” She glanced at the clock on the wall waving bye to me as she left the room.

“Bye Lizzie-beer.” I waved leaving the kitchen in search of my mother since she convinced me that this was something we should talk about. Standing outside the headmistress office I knocked stepping inside to see that it was just her meaning dad must have been off with Henrik playing some kind of game otherwise my dad would be in the room with her. “Hey mom, can I talk with you about something..kind of personal?”

She pushed aside her notebook of work, putting her hands on top of the desk. “Always honey. Shut the door and we can talk.”

“It’s about me and Jackson.” I shut the door sitting in one of the chairs she had in front of the desk. Tucking hair behind my ear I shifted my gaze up to meet hers after a minute of silence. “This is awkward to ask but ... .what made you decide to sleep with dad for the first time?”

My mother ran her fingers through her hair that she put in a messy ponytail. “Oh wow. If your father was here he would definitely be threatening Jackson’s life. Thankfully you just found me….I guess I’d say the moment I knew I was ready to lose my virginity to your father was the night that I knew I loved him. I had never been in love with anyone you see. But I couldn’t live physically and emotionally without your father. Once I had that feeling I knew he was the one forever and always.”

“So it’s not weird that Jack and I have been together for awhile and we are both virgins?” I questioned my heretic mother feeling better about the situation.

She reached across the desk taking my hands in hers smiling longingly at me. “Alina, the best advice I can give you is just to wait until you are completely sure you are ready. Yes you are already married but that doesn’t mean you have to jump into bed with Jackson so soon.”

“Thanks mom. I knew you’d have the answer.” Getting to my feet I hugged her quickly.

She shrugs her shoulders chuckling before I leave her to get back to work. “I may not have a thousand years under my belt like you’re father but I do know some things. Have fun, Lina.”

It was nightfall by the time I had worked up the courage to face Jackson in his dorm room. Even though mom’s advice helped I still felt nervous to have this type of conversation with him. We were still only young adults regardless of the ceremony to untie our werewolf sides together. “Jack, there is no easy way to say this so I’m just going to come out with it. Have you….do you want to sleep with me?”

“Woah Lina. I thought you weren’t ready for that kind of conversation.” He was sitting down on the bed with his arms behind his head while he laid down.

Running my hands down my shirt I felt more nervous than I already was when I came in here. "It's awkward, yes. But…I don’t know what to say."

"Listen to me, Lina. I know Mt mother said that this would have to be a real marriage in every way. But I don't want you to think that I'm rushing you into anything you've not comfortable with. You do understand that right?" Jackson came over taking my hands in his with a kind smile that suited him.

Squeezing his hands in mine I met his deep brown eyes, reaching up and brushing some of his curls from his eyes. "Jack, I care about you a lot. That much I know. In terms of our relationship I think I'm ready for this."

"I'm not pressuring you with this right, Alina?" Jack moved one hand to cradle my face where I lightly shook my head not about to kiss him until the door flung opened making us separate.

Missy entered the room holding up a necklace to me and Jackson. "Alina, you have to touch this thing I just found in the old abandoned room in the mansion. You won't believe it when you see what I saw." I slowly touched the necklace and I instantly saw a strange girl that had the same auburn hair as the Hope girl from Ethan’s school.

The Hope girl was moving a paintbrush across her page that was a blue ocean. She looked up at my mom and dad seeing they were watching her. "Mom says you like to paint too."

"I do, very much." Dad grinned brightly. He pulled the chair away, sitting down staring at her.

She looks at mom, placing a blank page in front of him. He picks up a paintbrush drawing something with orange. "Daddy, watch Invisique." Missy called his name, making him lift his gaze upward.

She disappeared from Alina's view when she took a hold of her orange gem necklace that I had given her. "What the - Missy that's cheating!"

"You did it last time." Missy became visible again before Alina could grab her light green gemstone necklace but I didn’t remember this Hope girl being around or ever call my parents like they were hers.

“I can’t believe you’re getting married, Alina. I’m the older sister. I’m supposed to go first.” Hope said pulling me in for a hug before I was getting ready for the wedding between me and Jackson. Missy wasn’t there because she was picking out the perfect flowers for me to carry so it was just the two of us alone talking.

Tucking hair behind my ear when we broke the embrace I smiled at my sister. “Yeah well at least I actually got to know Jack before we say I do. I just worry that this will make us separate now and everything.”

“Don’t ever think something like that, Lina.” Hope takes my hands in hers making me look her directly in the eye. “You’re my sister always and forever. We will always be there for one another.”

I trailed off still a little unsure. “Yeah but what if the universe wants to tear us apart?”

“It doesn’t matter if I have to scale hell and back. I will always be just a call away. I will always protect my sisters.” She vowed where I flung my arms around her, knowing that she truly meant what she said to me that evening.

One more memory appeared in my mind bringing up the time when Missy and I got in trouble with mom and dad. The Hope girl spoke up sitting down on the couch hitting her hands on her knees. “We knew it would take something big to bring you home.”

“So you had your little hybrid friend attack your cousin and her parents?” He scolded her like she was his child.

Hope rolled her eyes thinking that their plan was perfectly fine. “Henry just did the heavy lifting. And "attack" is a really strong word. They’re fine. In a really nice coffin, sleeping. Mom cloaked her in a sleeping spell for five years until I wrote a better one myself.”

“You're just gonna go disappear again if we tell you ... .and then mom will cut our communication with you all together like she did for almost two years until we did something about it.” Alina snarled, crossing her arms over her chest glaring at mom.

In these memories, I saw Hope in various situations and locations, ones that didn’t make sense to me at first but more just kept racing through my head until finally I drew my hand from the necklace, my mind was filled with questions. I turned to my twin sister who had a curious expression on her face, hoping she could provide some answers. “Missy, what the hell was that!”

“I’m not messing with you, sis. She’s really our older sister. I…I was just as confused as you are now. But then it’s all coming back to me. I remember Hope leaving us here with mom and dad while she went to save Landon. But now it makes sense why Alairc didn’t know who sent him the message that Landon needed him that night.” Missy rambled her words off a mile a minute throwing her hair around as she paced in front of me.

I felt tears starting to fall down my face letting my brain try and catch up with my emotions. Threading my fingers through the knots in my hair I couldn’t believe it almost. “Malivore made us forget about our own sister. There is no way in hell that we are letting her do something like that ever again.”

“I have a question. Who is this Hope girl you’re talking about exactly?” Jackson raised his hand out of one of the pockets on his red flannel shirt.

Before Missy or I could say any response to his questions we turned our heads at the sound of someone yelling through the upstairs dorms. And it sounded like it was coming from the Saltzman twins room. “Hope Andrea Mikaelson!”

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[fuckingguide]

Saw your post about the dating app thing, and girlie pop I feel your pain. If you don't wanna do the dating app thing don't worry man you don't have to. Your friends are probably just trying to help and that's their way they know how. It sounds like they care and would be understanding if you didn't want to do it. But! If you do want to keep doing it my best advice is this; the person on the other end of that chat box is just as nervous as you to text a new person. It's all okay! And if you don't wanna keep talking to em that's fine, dating apps are just kinda like that my guy. (Just don't give in to ghosting culture please oml it sucks, just send em a "hey not really interested, but you seem nice!" Or whatever and then dip). Also don't feel pressured to do the whole "what do you like and what do you do for fun" typical kind of stuff. If you're looking for a relationship start texting to set a precedence for what you are like day to day. "saw this funny meme today" kinda shit is totally acceptable conversation in today's culture for topic of conversation. "what shows do you like" leads to finding out if they're into shipping culture or not and prompts so much more convo. It's all down to you and what you like to share and talk about, and how those things coincide with the person you're talking with. And hey! Guess what? At the end of the day that's just a little person in your phone and life keeps going even if they end up ghosting you! It'll be A-Okay home slice. And about the requited love thing, if y'all were friends before and y'all were good friends y'all can come outta this just fine. If he's understanding hell let it lie, and granted, it might be a bit awkward for awhile but that's fine! Everything will be alright, sweet guide, life is just a hiking path on a mountain and you don't always get to see the sunrise the whole time, but when you do? Damn is it beautiful. Ya know? Hope this helped!

this is honestly so uplifting, thank you so much anon ily 💞💞

my friends will for sure be understanding if I decide this isn't working out for me. and while it does feel like dating apps aren't my thing, I'm also conscious that due to how my brain works nothing ever really feels like "my thing" at first until I've tried it a couple of times and I've got used to it. it's very easy for me to stagnate by convincing myself something isn't for me just because I've never tried it and the thought of it scares me, so I'm trying to push myself out of my comfort zone a little more and at least give it a try. if after a couple of months it still doesn't feel like something that would work for me, I will drop it, and I'm sure my friends will get it!

thank you so much for your advice!! I 100% agree on how ghosting sucks, I know it would hurt me if someone did it to me and I would find it rude so I definitely won't do that to someone else. I'll keep in mind what you say about how the other person is just as nervous as me, I think that's an excellent point! and yeah I need to find the way to get to know people that works best for me (and for them too). nothing to do but try!

yeah let's see how things with this guy develop, I'd love for us to come out of it as friends but I think we will first have to go through a period of minimal contact, or else we'll never break the cycle. but thank you so much for your kind words and advice, you've honestly made me feel so much better about everything!! you're right, things will turn out fine in the end

I hope you have a lovely rest of the week anon you're an angel 💞💖 I feel so much more hopeful and motivated 🥰

[flutteringfable]

doodles of miwa except i REALLY wanted to draw them on the brink of tears and crying. also kitty jammies

i want them to be like. the type of person that wants to consistently look like theyre fine so as not to concern other people. so when they do cry, they tend to blame it on exhaustion or overworking so people don't get too worried. even in situations where it would be totally normal to cry, miwa has put up so many walls that it's just instinct to try to hide it regardless.

when theyre on the brink of tears, they try to smile more to stave them off. it rarely works but its become such a habit they do it regardless. theyre pretty okay at holding back their tears and hiding their true emotions, but under extreme pressure (like, say. a killing game.) it becomes more difficult.

oc x canon ramblings because this train of thought accidentally got really out of hand:

i think that kokichi can always clock when miwa's smiles are fake, no matter how convinced everyone else is. he's a liar himself, after all, and knows how to read all the signs. it comes as no surprise to him; no one would be able to remain that unshakably positive during something as terrifying as a killing game. earlier on in the game, he finds himself... worried, for whatever reason. seeing miwa strain to keep up their warm and brave personality is straining in and of itself.

after the first trial, miwa is the first to leave. they don't want anyone to see them crying, even if several others are, too. kokichi is the only one to notice their haste. when miwa hurries through the dining hall the next morning to get breakfast, they take it outside instead of eating with everyone else. kokichi follows (not without suspicion from the others, of course).

he finds them in the courtyard, and miwa doesn't notice him until he's close enough to hear them sniffling. they startle once they realize he's there, and try to quickly wipe their face. miwa knows they're caught, though.

they worry, at first. they've been around kokichi for long enough to be suspicious of his intentions. however, kokichi just sits next to them.

"bottling stuff up for so long is bad for you, y'know."

"...huh?"

"it's perfectly reasonable to cry in a situation like this. i don't think anyone here would think you're weird for it."

miwa gives kokichi the most intense side eye he's ever seen.

"woah, hey, no need for the look. you've seen how much i cry; i might be a liar but i'm no hypocrite."

okay, well, maybe that was a lie, too. kokichi never claimed to be good at genuine reassuring words. miwa seems to pick up on this, but doesn't make a comment. instead, they sigh.

"i just... don't like people seeing me cry. i feel like it makes things awkward, or brings them down, too. it's kinda stupid reasoning, i know."

kokichi catches himself before he reflexively replies with a snarky remark. god dammit, he's really out of practice with this whole comforting thing. he decides to pat miwa's shoulder instead.

"it's not stupid. i can see where you're coming from. still, i promise it's okay to let yourself cry around other people. i think just about everyone here would understand."

"and how do i know all of this isn't some elaborate lie to make me embarrass myself?"

kokichi smiles. it's very brief, but the intention is genuine.

"you're just gonna have to trust me."