#aesthetic / remember your true self as well also that which you must become. the one who will lead us to paradise with blood stained hands!

[unk1ng]

SHAKESPEARE AESTHETICS.

romeo & juliet. suburban july. scraped knees. bruised knuckles. blood in your teeth. bare feet on hot concrete. restlessness. your high school’s empty parking lot. love poems in your diary. a window open to coax in the breeze. burning inside. an ill - fitting party dress. a t - shirt you cut up yourself. the time you tried to give yourself bangs. biking to your friends house. bubble gum. gas station ice. the feeling that you’ve met before. rebellion. a car radio playing down the street. cheap fireworks. a heart drawn on the inside of your wrist with a sharpie. switchblades. red solo cups. dancing in your bedroom. screaming yourself hoarse. running out of options. the forlorn looking basketball hoop at the end of a cul - de - sac. climbing onto your roof at night while your parents are asleep. flip - flops. a eulogy written on loose - leaf. the merciless noontime sun.

hamlet. speaking in a whisper. holding your breath. a browning garden. a half remembered story. furniture covered with sheets. fog at dawn. mist at twilight. losing touch. the ethereal space between winter and spring. the soft skin at your temple. the crack in the hallway mirror. things you’d say if you knew the words. uncombed hair. books with writing in the margins. books with cracked spines. books with lines scratched out. prayers on all souls’ day. a chipped ceramic bathtub. a cold stone floor. the uncomfortable awareness of your own heartbeat. the sparrow that got in your house. shadows. the creek you played in as a child. a dirty night gown. an oversized t - shirt. a collection of your favorite words. soil beneath your nails. ghost stories. the strangeness of your own name in your mouth. deep silence. exhaustion. a cliff with a long, long drop down.

twelfth night. wicker deck furniture. new england summer. large sunglasses and a blonde bob. a storm over the ocean. patio umbrellas flapping in the wind. the smell of chlorine. muffled laughter. sarcasm. starched cuffs. day drinking. bay windows. the idea of love. love for the idea of love. love for love’s sake. hangovers. wandering over the sand dunes. a vagabond with a guitar. fishermen with tattoos. a pretty boy with a slacked tie. a lighthouse. growing too close. boat shoes. feeling yourself change. big, floppy sunhats. double - speak. a song you keep listening to. turning red under their gaze. margaritas drank on an inflatable pool lounger. string lights on a balmy night. sleepy june days. fights you’re unprepared for. hope you weren’t expecting. pranks that go too far. bad poetry. pining. becoming less of a stranger.

macbeth. the space where your grief used to be. a bird that’s lost an eye. old blood stains. heavy blinds. the smell of sweat. the stillness after a battle. a fake smile. a curse. the taste of metal at the back of your tongue. your house, unfamiliar in the dark. a dusty crib. the smell of sulfur. an orange pill bottle. streaks in the sink. a black cocktail dress. your hand on the doorknob, shaking. a chilly breeze. crunching from the gravel driveway on a moonless night. clenched hands. a rusty swing set. a flashing digital clock stuck on 12 : 00. a snake that crosses your path. an owl that watches you. a dog that runs when you approach. red smoke, dark clouds. cool steel. tile floors. footsteps in the hallway late at night. a baggy suit that used to fit before. visions. insomnia headaches. nursery rhymes. being too far in to go back now.

much ado about nothing. the high drama of small towns. a pickup truck. military supply duffel bags in the hall. hugs all around. tulip bulbs. a wraparound porch. a pitcher of iced tea. a rubber halloween mask. someone on your level. ill - timed proclamations. stomach clenching laughter. rushing in. not minding your business. crepe paper. white lies. secrets written down and thrown away. southern hospitality. homemade curtains in the kitchen. a sink full of roses. hiding in the bushes. old friends. the wedding dress your grandma wore, and her mama before her. a dog - eared rhyming dictionary. chamomile with honey. the intimacy of big parties. lawn flamingos. gossip. a crowded church. friendly rivalries. unfriendly rivalries. shit getting real. love at five hundredth sight. not realizing you’re home until you’re there.

king lear. cement block buildings. power lines that birds never perch on. the end of the world. useless words. rainless thunder, heat lighting, a too big sky. arthritic knuckles. broken glass. chalk cliffs. the pulsing red - black behind closed eyes. something you learned too late. wet mud that sucks up your shoes while you walk. a cold stare. empty picture frames. empty prayers. the obscenity of seeing your parents cry. a treeless landscape. bloody rags. grappling in the dark with reaching hands. the sharpness at the the tips of your teeth. the blown out windows of a skeletal house. decay. jokes that aren’t jokes. biting your tongue. prophecies. aching muscles, tired feet. stinging rain. invoking the gods. wondering if the gods are listening. worrying that the gods are dead. white noise. shivers. numbness. the unequivocal feeling of ending.

a midsummer night’s dream. the smell of wet soil and dead leaves. listening to music on headphones with your eyes closed. wildflowers. the distant sparkle of lightning bugs. a pill someone slipped you. fear that turns into excitement. excitement that turns to frenzy. mossy tree trunks. a pair of yellow eyes in the darkness. night swimming. moonlight through the leaves. a bass beat in your chest. a butterfly landing on your nose. a kiss from a stranger. a dark hallow in an old tree. glow in the dark paint. drinking on an empty stomach. a twig breaking behind you. spinning until you’re dizzy. finding glitter on your body and not remembering where it came from. an overgrown path through the woods. cool dew on your skin. a dream that fades with waking. moths drawn to the light. giving yourself over, completely. afterglow. the long, loving, velvety night.

tagged by: stole it tagging: steal it!

[tiredbutstillloveable]

JAKE'S PERSONALITY OBSERVATIONS

Hello boys, girls and everyone else <3 Today we're going to check Jake's personality and as always through the eyes of astrology. So, please remember that this is just for fun, don't take this super seriously. Don't take to the heart lol This is it, I hope you guys have fun and enjoy.

He is so well connected to his emotions, and so intuitive. I mean...I wouldn't be surprised if he was dreaming about things that would turn out to happen in the future. I think he could be a little wizard,yes lol

I don't think someone having that number of personal planets in Scorpio plus Pisces moon, could be oblivious to spirituality or the occult. I think he does like those things, like astrology, tarot, and all types of mystical/ holistic things. He needs to be aware of the type of people he is surrounding himself, because they could drain his energy. Energy is something he feels miles away.

This intuition, and perception of his environment, people, and his/their emotions and feelings, could help him a lot to create his songs, or any type of artistic self-expression <3

Jake is a nice guy, who is really empathic and cares about people in general. He is the type of person you can count on; Who is offering his help as much as he can.

But please, don’t take him as someone stupid. If he feels you are just taking advantage of him, he’s going to cut you off; He’s not the most combative person, but he can’t take it people being unfair, or worst... liars!  The ones who have their own agenda, who is near him just to get some advantage, he won’t take that at all.

I feel he can take a lot, but won’t let you hurt the people he loves; this is another way to get him in a fight mood.

Other than that, he is a pretty calm and loving boy, who just wants to experience the world and to fulfill his dreams; to spread love and positivity to the people out there.

I feel that, even though he is pretty good at feeling people, their energy, and all...he could be the one who is always trying to see the good in people, and he could ignore his gut feeling a lot because he wants to believe that this person is not bad 🙁

So, he could take some time to understand that not everyone is just a nice and genuine person, and when he figures it out, this would make him really angry and hurt. He is really sensible, so when he is hurt, he really feels the pain and it’s just worst when someone cheat on him – bc lying to people, or taking advantage of them, to me, it’s a type of cheating. You’re cheating someone’s trust.

I feel he tries to be nice to everyone but when he is disappointed that people are not how he expected, he’s just pissed, and angry, but won’t show (bc is like...he read you in the wrong way, and he does feel proud to be able to understand people and their behaviors, and all this. It’s almost like he could predict things.)

Having a Pisces Moon Jake could be a dreamer or someone who is always dreaming when he is awake. He can fantasize a lot. But on the negative side of this placement, someone could try to escape feeling pain, angry, frustrations, just all the challenging feelings through the use of substances or even alcohol; And with that Scorpio Sun, he could become obsessed to this idea of escaping/feeling too much and wanting to run away from the problem. Scorpio owns a very beautiful energy of transformation too, so the person can change, can improve, can face their demons in the eyes and win the battle...they are like phoenix yk? And they comeback stronger than ever (yes, I do think they are fucking awesome! I love you Scorpio people thanks for teaching us so much<3)

You can feel he is sensual and cute/ soft boy because this is the effect of his Scorpio sun + Pisces moon.

He can keep a lot to himself; and he could suffer a lot from second guessing himself. I feel he is anxious and nervous, and can have self destructured thoughts, but won’t share with people. He’s only sharing with people he truly trusts, and he knows he can count on, he is not the type to talk about his life with everyone, asking for advice. He can be really hard to read because of that. He does not like to share his bad moments with everyone. And ofc, if he opens up with someone about a secret, and this person tells someone else, man...I don’t want to know what he could do to his person lol but honestly, he wouldn’t EVER again tell this person something. And he can definitely hold a grudge, which does not make him happy at all, but once you hurt him, the wounds are deep.

I feel he really enjoy dark themes, and has a thing for horror and gothic novels, and the aesthetic yk.

Jake is such an emotional guy. He feels deep and can love unconditionally. He's just giving, and can intuitively pick up his partner's energy, so he knows when something's off.

He wants a real connection to this person; He wants to know everything he can about it. He wants to immerse himself in the layers of her/his personality/being.

He could be a little bit distant at first look, but this is just to understand you and your vibe. He is the type that is always looking and analyzing you and your ways (but he's very discreet and could be taciturn lol) When he is into someone, he really pays attention in all the little things this person does.

Overall, what makes him wanting to be in a relationship with someone is – if this person shows empathy, compassion, and if this person knows how to really be vulnerable and accepting. He wants a person who could really love him, all his aspects, the good and bad parts. Just like he would love this person back, with his all heart. He wants someone who could really embrace him.

I feel he wants to fall in love for real for someone, to find his true soulmate. He can be really romantic in a relationship. He cares so much about his partner, and their well-being. Always wanting to know how they are feeling. again...he is really in tune with his emotions lol and he wants the same thing from his partner. Full and open emotional, mental, physical commitment and engaging.

He's a Libra Juno, so this shows how being around people, and go to gatherings with friends are important here. He is a social person; he likes going out and seeing/talking to people. Even though this relationship is going to be something private, he loves to go out with his partner, and making they bond with his friends. Being able to balance these two sides is important. He does look for harmony in a relationship, and when he's in one, does not mean he forgot about his friends.

He can be social, but also is super important that he gets his alone time, to recharge his battery. After all, he can get to work up from all the people, and feel tired from the amount of energy that he spent.

And even if he loves you, he must have his private moment, in his room, or in a place that is his yk? He needs his time alone more than most people. He is very sensitive when it comes to energy, so depending where you guys went out, and who you saw there, he can feel very very drained. So, don't take personality if he feels like not being around you in that particular moment, or to answer your message immediately. He's just resting and recharging lol

So, this is it for now guys, I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think in the asks. Thank you <3

[windblooms]

matchups.

hihi :’) way overdue – but here are the matchup requests that i received.  please check for yours below if it was sent in!  ctrl+f on desktop for your mbti/zodiac, or something you remember adding in if the post is too long to scroll through.

Hello! I'm INFP and 98% Type 4 & 92% Type 9. I'm a sun Pisces & moon Aquarius. I'm fairly introverted but can be kinda silly if I'm trying to be social. I'm also empathetic & sympathetic with plenty of self-confidence issues. My main hobbies are playing games, looking into social issues, thinking about game characters,etc. I keep bouncing between visions but Geo might be fitting since current Geo characters are a little more on the introverted side. Not sure if I'm late but wanted to try <3 I'm the INFP Pisces & Aquarius Geo asker and forget to mention that I'd like 1 platonic and 1 romantic!

romantic match-up: kaeya.

although it might be odd at first to pair him with a sensitive and introverted soul such as yourself, on the contrary, kaeya won’t have any issues relating to your emotional nature, even if outwardly it doesn’t seem so (behind his light-hearted and diplomatic dialogue, he’s got a transactional relationship with the knights he’s “loyal” to; his own brother is distasteful towards him; and he’s got an agenda that goes against everything he currently lives with.)  he’ll get a knack out of teasing you when the mood is fitting, and while he may not be the one to give you the best of pep-talks, his self-assured disposition does have its uses: confident words soothe over the creases of your worries and troubling thoughts, and when things are more light-hearted, the two of you will bounce off of each others’ playful mannerism.

platonic match-up: barbara.

barbara is a sweetheart who’s incredibly devoted to both her companions and her aspirations.  wholesome and energetic, she’s sure to keep you on your toes dancing, whether it be about how beautiful it is outside or the potential of a rainbow after a storm.  while she’s a clear extrovert, barbara is also insightful to the feelings of others – after all, an idol must understand her crowd! – so she’s sure to dial down the energy if you’re ever feeling weary that day.

hihi !! can i please submit myself for the matchups ? i'm intp-t, scorpio sun and leo moon. i'm 5'11, female, and am described to be a very energetic person. i like to think optimistically and have a special love for philosophy and chemistry !! my hobbies include reading and writing - i've also recently picked up baking. i think i would have a hydro vision in genshin - hydro users tend to be healers, and i think that's something i would specialize in. can i please have 2 romantic matchups 🥺

i'm the scorpio sun leo moon intp matchup ask !! i forgot to mention that my enneagram type is seven, sorry 😔

romantic match-ups: childe/tartaglia and jean. 

childe hyperfixates on individuals he deems strong.  while this usually translates into people who have experience on the battle field, in your case, he finds it admirable that you’re able to keep up with so many hobbies and interests.  your thirst for new experiences and stimuli is akin to his own sense of adventure, and your devotion to each and every one of them resonates with his own conviction to his aspirations.  you’re strong mentally, and when you interact, he always has to dedicate himself to you fully in order to keep up; there’s never a dull moment when you’re around him.

a workaholic in denial, jean’s position as acting grand master never gives her a break.  she’ll insist that she’s fine, that she’s content with her oversight of the knights, that they are her priority.  and while this is true, when you talk about how your interests range from chemistry to baking, it’ll remind her of the time she doesn’t have to do “normal people things.”  again, not that she’s miserable with the knights, far from it – it’s just that your life and spontaneity reminds her of the things outside of the knights that she wishes she could do, too.  your genuine energy never fails to make her smile – perhaps you were who she’s been waiting for.

hi, congrats on the 1k followers! i really enjoy your writing and i’m glad to see that you’re doing well! i hope the rest of 2021 goes well for you!

for the matchup event, i’d like one platonic and one romantic relationship. i'm an infp, 6w5, scorpio sun and virgo moon. my attention span isn’t the best and i’m an impulsive dumbass, but i still manage to get good grades somehow. i try to be sociable, but i have a habit of clamming up so i usually just end up sticking to the people i know. i’m kinda all or nothing with the effort i put into things; i run out of steam pretty easily so i tend to leave things unfinished, which i hate, but sometimes i’ll go wild and finish a semester-long project in one afternoon. overall, i really like helping others and being seen as reliable! i was really dependent on others in the past, and although i still kinda am now, i’m trying to be someone others can depend on.

as for hobbies, i mostly just play video games and scary stories. i’m also into a lot of crafts, particularly knitting and bracelet-making. i find the motions relaxing, but i enjoy it the most when i have someone to make things for.

as for my vision, i think hydro suits me best because it seems more support-oriented overall, which is the kind of role i’d like to have. however, that doesn’t mean that it can’t be used to do some serious damage if needed.

has lots of energy that’s hard to direct, but can plow through things they set their mind to.  likes security of things they know, and wants to give security as well.  creative outlets.  seems a bit finicky?  but insightful with their own emotions. 

romantic match-up: mona.

outwardly stubborn but inwardly self-critical, mona has dedicated her entire life to the stars, and it shows: her masterful grip on astrology is nothing to scoff at, and she’s arguably the most practiced mage in all of teyvat.  at first, she’ll be baffled at your impulsiveness and “lack of focus”: how will you ever get anything done? she’ll wonder.  but when you prove her time and time again that you can plow right through an obstacle just like scissors through paper, so long as it seizes your interest, she’ll take moments to think about her own outlook on life.  when she realizes your comfort in abstract, artistic past-times, she might ask cutely for you to teach her.  surely, if she can talk to the stars, she can make bracelets . . . ?  o-of course they’d be for you!  who else would they be for, if not someone she deems endearing.

platonic match-up: beidou. 

the personification of a tidal wave, beidou’s ferocity hits hard and leaves a mark.  the two of you will find it easy to bounce off of each others’ ideas – maybe even concerningly so to the rest of the crew – and hell, she might even sway you to sneak into a hilichurl village to steal some carrots if it’ll provide for some overdue fun.  lots of  pats  slaps on the back, and she’ll always beckon you over when she learns about something new, thinking that you might find it interesting, and when she wants someone else’s input.  she trusts your judgement like family, and knows that you’ve always got her.

hi! i would like to request a genshin character matchup (2 romantic). my mbti is infj and enneagram 2. i am a cancer sun and aries moon. i am calm and reliable, but i do have a mischievous side and use a lot of dry humor. when it comes to having fun, i like to enable others! i am also deeply passionate about community service. my hobbies include yarn crafting. my genshin vision would be cryo because i am highly motivated by love/emotion, can come off as cold, and love the ice aesthetic! tysm!

romantic match-ups: diluc and lisa.

often broody and contemplative, diluc has a whirlwind of thoughts in that hard head of his.  through your first interactions, he’ll piece together your intense devotion towards your loved ones and willingness to help others.  he’ll warn you that you should take time to consider yourself, too, and that it shouldn’t always be give, give, give, but those same traits in you that he worries about are the same qualities that draw him in.  once, too, he was as uninhibited as you, had the same energy.  perhaps it’s because you’re both so similar, both in internal hopes and mannerisms, is why he finds it easier to loosen up – even if he doesn’t immediately let go of that deadpan attitude of his when he knows you can come back just as hard.

she’s enthralled by your willingness to engage in her banter.  often, those she teases (flirtatiously or otherwise) leave with a red face and an adorable stutter, but it just so happens that you’re one to fluster her instead.  it’s been a long time since she’s met someone who can keep her guessing, yet is incredibly insightful to themselves and those around them.  she finds your qualities of fun and sincerity to be charming.  you’re a breath of fresh air compared to the stern knights she’s around all day, and she looks forward to meeting you after work, conversing with you as you walk down mondstadtian streets and eat over dinner.  there’s never a dull quip from your lips, and she’d love to hear everything on your mind.

hii hope I'm not making this too hard on u lol one romantic and one platonic please! either gender is fine I'm bi as Hecc mbti: enfp-t sun taurus moon aries I think my vision would be cryo because people say it's connected to loss and I've lost some pretty important people to me and also. I hate the heat I really like cards, wolves and the stars, my hobbies include working with robots and the general aesthetic of the mid 2000s, my favorite season is winter and I love buying ppl gifts ♡

platonic match-up: chongyun. 

immediately, your avoidance of heat and affinity to the calm will give him someone to relate to, and your attraction to the abstract will pique his interests.  (perhaps, once he’s become more confident with his exorcist abilities, he could pick up some of your hobbies?)  your practicality, in contrast to his often self-critical mindset, will ground him in times of need, and he’ll always ask you if he can help you out in return.  while he looks up to you as an individual, he’s honored to also be your friend, or at least someone you devote time to.

romantic-matchup: ningguang.

you both understand sacrifices and loss.  while it’s a rather bleak realization upon getting to know each other, your rationality and perseverance despite the past stirs her respect for you; your mindsets are incredibly alike, and she’ll often input your reasoning into her plans, and deem you a trusted associate of the liyue qixing.  in her demanding position, you are someone she can readily relate to and rely on.  in times when things are less hectic and the two of you can more freely relax, she’ll indulge in a shopping spree with you.  as someone who’s intimate with her in both profession and emotional relations, she’d love to show her gratitude. 

hi! i'd like to participate on the match up event!

i'm an infp, and also type six on the enneagram test, my sun sign is aries and my moon sign is pisces. i like arts in general with my favourite ones being music and painting, but i also enjoy writing and i spend a lot of time songwriting! also as a person i'm rlly clumsy and i kind of look mean bc of my resting bitch face lol. i think my vision would be anemo because i think it can be really useful in many ways and i like the reactions it has with other visions. i'd like two romantic match ups! i hope this was understandeable, as my english isn't the best. thank you! 💌

romantic-matchups: mona and zhongli.

mona will find your interest in the arts intriguing.  you always seem to get ideas at the most random of times, often startling her with how active your mind is.  and despite how she doesn’t reply much in return – she’s not versed in words or drawings, even if she won’t verbally admit it – you seem to be satisfied with her . . . reactions?  even if the most she can relate them to is astrology, it seems to be enough for you, so long as she isn’t uptight that day.  your creativity and attraction to the abstract gives her comfort: there aren’t many people in mondstadt who appreciate her profession, so even if you aren’t into the exact same things, she’ll at least know that there’s someone who looks forward to seeing her.

on his quest to “learn what being a human” is, zhongli encounters a myriad of occupations.  typically, the people of liyue are wound up with economics and realism, but your joy in the possibilities – how you can convey your emotions, through what mediums – of life has to offer reminds him of humanity.  with you, he’ll explore what mortals call “the small things” in life: akin to the spark of appreciation for flying lanterns, autumn-colored lights at night, feelings of wonder – that’s what you instill in him. 

hello!! id like a matchup please!! im an INTP-T and im Type 5,, im capricorn sun and libra moon. im a reserved person and kind of angry all the time,, and i get overwhelmed easily. im not that good with affection,, but me actually welcoming you into conversation or my room or smthn, or actually responding to you means something. im just scared to be open with affection because its always done me wrong in the past. anyways,, id like a platonic matchup and romantic matchup please!! thank u and congrats!!🥳🥳❤️❤️

hello,, im that Capricorn sun libra moon anon,,, very sorry to disturb you,,, but i didn’t mention what my vision would be!! i think id be pyro,, ive always been a bit cold or i usually shun people away,, so i think id be cryo!!!! or maybe hydro because im constantly having a mental breakdown LMAO(but i fr think id be cryo)

platonic match-up: sucrose.

while she’s constantly on-edge from work, sucrose will always make time to check on her dear friend.  after all, you do the same for her, even if you insist that you might not have the right words ready.  “partners in stress,” kaeya would teasingly dub the two of you as, but you don’t pay mind to him.  as quiet and reserved individuals, you find tranquility within each others’ company.  

romantic match-up: venti.

whimsical and regarded as a mere bard by most, venti puts up a convincing front.  but it’s just that: a front.  the real venti is concealed by a chipper voice and mercurial agenda, when underneath, there’s a solemn musician who’s burdened.  you’ll most likely be off-put by his facade, as he’s trained himself to constantly be lively – comes with being a performer – but will soon find that he understands your turmoil.  he’s not the best with sentimental words, but will instead convey his sympathies through strums of his lyre.  while it isn’t obvious that there’s security in freedom, he’ll be sure to encourage you that there’s a way.

Hello Al! For the match-up event would it be possible for me to ask for 1 romantic and 1 platonic? As for my MBTI I am an INFJ-T. As for the ennseagram I am 98% type five and 90% type 6. I am a Taurus sun and an Aquarius moon. I tend to come off as polite and often times a bit shy/reserved irl. I love learning new things. Conversations that have all parties thinking critically are definitely my favorites. My hobbies are writing, drawing, learning new things, reading, and playing video games. As for Genshin vision I'd have to say cryo. I've taken a quiz on quotev and got a tie between cryo and anemo. Cryo's description seemed to fit my personality better. I also seem to have a connection with the cold. Let me know if you need any more info. Remember to take care of yourself. ~Taylor💙

platonic match-up: albedo.

you both have your inquisitive sides, and albedo is more than willing to talk to you about his discoveries.  while he might not proactively reach out to you – more like, if you’re nearby, and he happens to catch you peeping at his work, he’ll engage with you.  he finds your takes thought-provoking and your candor respectful; a fellow of agreeable disposition, your calmness and supplementing nature also makes it easy for him to work.

romantic match-up: zhongli.

both intuitive and practical in your approaches, zhongli’s given a new perspective when you converse, or at least, a new thing to ponder over.  many regard him as stiff besides his gentlemanly disposition; your focused and insistent care will enrapture him as heartwarming, that there are “acceptable” vulnerabilities, but they’re not weak points at all – far from it.  your security and assuredness is harmonious with your emotion insight, making for a stable lifestyle that he easily molds into.  the conversations that the two of you engage in are nothing short of provocative.  just as much as he learns from you, he also provides with tales of the old days. 

Is - is the matchup thing still relevant? If not you can just ignore this message - its ok, i know ur busy :)

If it is still on tho, i wonder if i could get a platonic and romantic one?

Im a INFP-T(??), Type 4, pisces sun sag moon.

Im a dumb nerd with big glasses who loves t shirts with puns ot jokes on it. Im not sure about my hobbies, i just like anything that can make me think - memes, books, music, games with lore. I dont like boring, overly normal stuff. I have shitty sense of direction and i suck at math.

I think that my vision would be anemo since thats (i think) an element that requires both creativity and knowledge to work with, which is very special and interesting to me.

Thank you so much in advance! Or sorry if i sent this too late 😅

platonic match-up: xinyan.

both of you are free-flowing and seek excitement.  you’re the gasoline to xinyan’s match: you both feed off of each others’ knack for new things, stimuli, and the bold.  you could be walking down the streets of liyue, eating bags of mora meat, and then suddenly run down to the northern wharf to catch passing boats and playfully debate over which snobby aristocrat is being shipped off.  there’s never a dull moment between the two of you, and the plan is always no plan.  spontaneity is the name of the game, and it’s one that you can go at for ages. 

romantic match-up: beidou.

there’s hardly a moment to breathe on the crux fleet, that’s for sure.  be prepared to explore the entirety of teyvat with beidou, because she’s got you covered with all of your “new thing” needs, alongside your ocean-borne family.  she’ll find it humorous that you’re not practiced in navigation – ironic for a seafarer.  but steering is complex, and she’d gladly help you out in learning, just another thing to do in a day’s work. 

Hi! For the match up event, I'm 98% type 3 and a 97% type 7, I'm am Intp and my moon sign is scorpio, my sun sign is Pisces. I'm above than average in math and I like to draw from time to time, I've tried to learn the ukelele but ultimately failed. I'd like my vision to be an electro cause my fav color is purple and I like how the electricity sparks and stops my enemies, I'm also a fan fic writer and love manhwas

Hi! I'm the last anon that you reminded that should have put 2 romantic in the ask! Sorry about that, it just completely flew over my head

romantic match-ups: ningguang and childe/tartaglia.

your ambition knows no bounds, and your drive is a force to be reckoned with.  some may call your approaches headstrong, but your ability to take initiative is something that ningguang greatly admires.  it’s something she professes that you two have in common – granted, even if her economic tendencies are more cutthroat.  while the two of you have incredibly firm opinions that might send shocks across the room you’re debating in, ningguang trusts your rational thought and explorative mindset.  your like-mindedness, in this instance, brings great relief to her in her position.

childe is also someone who would take interest in you.  he’s not one for schemes like the rest of the harbingers, and would appreciate your straightforward approaches and the focused energy you put into each project/obstacle you face.  it makes it easier for him to speak his mind, and he’ll find comradery with you fairly easy to come by.  gradually, the zeal the two of you share can draw you into more adventures, and he’ll have someone he can call a trustworthy partner. 

Hello! For your generous match-up event, could I request two romantic matches please? My MBTI type is INFP and my enneagram type is four. My sun sign is Aries and my moon is Gemini. I am a quiet but curious person who can be really flirty and sarcastic in private. I am very caring to those I love. My hobbies including writing and drawing. For my vision, I think I would be cryo? I’m a secretive person who has trust issues and can be cruel. I love your blog, you’re so skilled! Thank you so much!

romantic match-ups: kaeya and jean.

you’re a trusted soul by all, even if many also regard you as reserved.  kaeya isn’t one to grow attached (it’s hindered him in the past), however after being paired with you on multiple missions, he’ll feel more at ease around you due to your good nature.  your duality is also a breath of fresh air, and each time he talks to you afterwards, he’s reminded that there are individuals who have others’ best interests at heart.  many knights will catch the two of you tossing jokes back and forth at each other, but for once, kaeya isn’t trying to swindle anybody. 

the acting grand master has a lot on her plate, but she finds that when she’s in your company, the tray is a little lighter.  she relates to your sincerity and good intentions, a welcome refresher in the world of forced diplomacy and tedious hours.  you also seem to know just the right things to say to lighten the mood, with a cute smile to top it all off. 

hello! Could I request 2 romantic match-up? I'm ENFP, enneagram 2w3. Sun Sagittarius, Moon Scorpio, Asc. Virgo. My hobbies consist of anything generally creative, gaming/anime, hanging out with friends esp!! I'm the type of person to show affection by physical touch and by gentle ribbing-- I love making other people laugh. I'm always down to do things, new or not, and an honest and easy-going person. My Vision would be Geo bc I think it reflects how I am as a person-- stable n loyal :) thank u!!

romantic match-ups: venti and beidou. 

no one would’ve thought that you and venti would be a pair – then again, when they consider your tendencies for jokes and charisma, it’ll all come together.  wherever the two of you go, laughter follows, like dandelions in the breeze.  venti hits it off with you almost immediately after you meet, your natural social nature enabling easy conversation.  you’re also very zealous with topics that pique your interest.  it’s a genuine, eager curiosity that he can’t help but consider endearing.

the two of you are always searching for new things, be it small islands in the horizon or neat little specialties that you manage to catch in the corner of your eye.  there’s never a dull moment when the two of you get going on ideas, and while you may be the more rational, beidou will always insist on adding some more “zest” into whatever you come up with.  if you push her, she might accidentally shove you off the boat with the playful enthusiasm of a golden retriever. 

Hiya~! Thank you both for doing this! For the character match-up, I'd like to request two (2) Romantic please lmao, with a side of French fries.

I'm an INFP, Libra sun/Scorpio moon. My external personality might lead ppl to think I'm a charismatic extrovert, but that's the face I show for the 5 whole minutes I'm socializing, and then return to my introvert turtle shell for the next week. I cycle through hobbies since I get bored quickly, but I always come back to music since singing is my passion. I know for sure my Vision would be Anemo bc I need to be free to feel comfortable and tend to react rather aggressively when I feel restrained 🤔

I'm deeply emotional, sometimes impulsive, and dislike relying on others. I tend to be cat-like in my affections... sometimes I Love, other times Do Not Want. Except for animals, they always get my love ❤ ehehe....

romantic match-ups: mona and kaeya.

mona considers your nature incredibly easy to grasp.  but don’t take it as an insult or offense – in fact, your simplicity is a constant in mona’s life: you like time to yourself, and when you’re alone is when your energy comes out.  she doesn’t have to worry about reading too much into your feelings when she can see that you’re independent.  your interactions are calm and reassuring; she doesn’t have to be uptight around you, because she knows you trust in her abilities and lifestyle, and security with herself and those she cares about is her top priority. 

kaeya’s able to relate to your social tendencies.  there’s a front that he puts up in front of his colleagues (purely for professional purposes) before reverting back to his natural state of mind.  he finds your distance understandable, and considers it something the two of you have in common.  when you talk one-on-one, it’s easy to bounce ideas off of each other about mondstadtian culture and other topics of interest; while your independent natures may lead to some time apart, there will always be fresh experiences waiting when you do meet again.

[rahleeyah]

A big country influence on your favorite artists and albums! I remember you saying once that Taylor Swift was never your cup of tea, but I’m a fan of hers, and her latest album evermore is in my top albums of all time.

I also really like Sigh No More by Mumford and Sons - the song and the album as a whole. the song takes lines directly from Much Ado, which is how i found it. it opens with “serve god, love me, and mend”

Melodrama by Lorde, and her latest, Solar Power, is really growing on me.

Favorite artwork? In this answer, it’s both incredible basic and deeply pretentious, i suppose: my favorite painting is ‘almond blossom’ by van gogh

but I also absolutely adore the shenanigans that modern art gets up to. ‘the treachery of images’ also known as ‘ceci n’est pas une pipe’ is terrific - because it isn’t a pipe, is it? it’s a painting of a pipe, and art can reflect something, resemble something, represent something, but it’s never the actual thing, not really. it is always what the artist takes that thing to mean, and then how they choose to present it.

i also love this one exhibit where a photographer took photos of the famous Dorothea Lange Great Depression photos - questioning what it means to ‘own’ an image, questioning what photography as an art form truly is - what makes this different from taking photos of anything else that already exists and calling it art? what makes this different from the ready-made pieces that surrealist artists used to submit to museums and galleries? if that was art, surely this is too?

but of course, it’s also very much ‘stealing’ another photographers work, but that was the whole point of the exhibit.

and everything that makes people go “that isn’t art” - well, why not? the whole point is to make yourself question why people would judge something as “not art” or “art” - is it the perceived amount of skill needed? is it the topic? is it the medium? is it whether the piece serves a functional purpose instead of merely an aesthetic one? what is art, at all? and how do we define it, personally and culturally?

and what’s great, i think, is that no surrealist/modern artist ever really seeks to answer that. just to make people think about it.

i do understand what you mean about the [Jeopardy music] when it comes to being asked about favorites, though I’m not sure my question will be easier: something about you that most people wouldn’t guess is true?

i am a product of my upbringing it must be said lmao

i find it interesting bc whenever i talk to my friends about music i always discover that all my favorite artists are male. i mean i like maren morris and kacey musgraves, i like joni mitchell and alison krauss, sugarland and miranda lambert, i fucking love lizzo. but when i start listing off like my very favorites, the ones i go back to time and time again, the ones whose lyrics i borrow for fic, it's always the dudes and i am certain there is something psychological at play there i just. have no idea what it is. is it just 'cause i'm gay and love songs that are overtly about loving women? i don't know bruh i don't know

ok sorry for the detour

i haven't ever been like into Tswift, but a lot of the lyrics from folklore and evermore have been inescapable on tumblr and there have been lots of them that resonated with me, so i mean, never say never lol

and i am a big fan of mumford, and i love that song what a good choice

almond blossom is also such a good choice, though. you will get no judgment from me there.

and oh my goshhhhhh i'm so glad you went this direction with your answer. i was kinda hoping you would lmao the question itself is sometimes more important than the answer, isn't it? bc the thing about art - any kind of art, a song, a painting, a poem, a book, what have you - is that there are gonna be limitless ways to interpret it, and any way it could possibility interpreted someone is going to view it that way. ten people can look at the same piece and give ten different descriptions of it. and so to seek to answer the question is all but impossible; someone, somewhere, is going to disagree with your answer. and i am thinking also about a quote i saw from an author recently who was saying something to the effect of "don't write the themes"; that is, that the themes themselves, the point of the piece, will come out on their own as you write, but if that you cling too stubbornly to what you think the theme ought to be you can end up beating people over the head with it, and damaging the efficacy of your own work. we start with an idea, but the idea itself is alive, and ever growing. isn't it? we make but we are also made in the making.

the discourse on what is art is fascinating up to the point where someone decides they have a definitive answer, and then it becomes self-serving and exhausting.

i am just. delighted by your thoughts.

and my goodness you don't ask for much, do you? the very first thing that came to mind is I'm an asshole; that is, i try, very hard, not to be an asshole both on tumblr and in real life, and i think that most people - bc by definition most people are people with whom i have a casual acquaintance not people who have spent a great deal of time around me - might not necessarily know that i'm mean and petty and prickly and too loud and just generally live with my foot in my mouth, but then i got to thinking oh no, they probably do know that, and so my final answer is this:

i do not have a college degree. everyone seems surprised when they find that out.

and since you cursed me with that piece of self-reflection i am going to turn it back on you. what is something about you that most people wouldn't guess is true?

[land-of-classpects-and-analysis]

Mage of Rage

Have you ever gone out shopping for new clothes? Perhaps the ones you already have don’t fit you anymore, your aesthetic taste has changed, or maybe you just want to expand your wardrobe. The idea may sound fun, but finding that proper size can be so frustrating, no? Sometimes something is too snug and it feels like plastic wrap has been coiled around you, or maybe it’s too small and you can’t fit your legs in the pants or your head through the hole. Maybe it’s too big as you feel that skirt, the one you could have sworn would fit just right, fall to the ground and lay at your ankles, or the rim of the shirt reaches past your knees and covers the entirety of your hands. It can be frustrating, embarrassing, and sometimes downright rage-inducing to repeat this same trial and error over and over again, experiencing more and more discomfort as the hours fly by and the pile of discarded clothes grows. People watch, and you hate it. You want to go home but you refuse to leave until you find the size that fits you best. Now you may be wondering, what does this have to do with being a Mage of Rage? A fair question, and one with an answer that is quite simple. Rather than the clothes being clothes, replace them with something such as false truths, promises, morals, rules, expectations; boxes that society attempts to push us into and keep us locked away in. Think of all the boxes you have shoved into and have broken. 

Does it feel like an ugly Christmas sweater, one that brings embarrassment and is so heavy it threatens to bring you to your knees and drown you in your own sweat? What about a pair of jeans that promises to be the right - no. The perfect size, and yet no matter how much you struggle, you cannot get the jeans on. And everyone is watching, waiting, critiquing you and what you are doing. The clothes don’t fit you, though. They know, though. Who, exactly? Everyone. Society itself knows you do not fit into the uniform that is so clean, pure, and perfect. It knows, and it hates you for it - putting you under a constant gaze of scrutiny. It hates you, so you hate it in return for creating a uniform and a box that does not fit everyone. You don’t just hate society, but you hate everyone that so blindly chooses to follow it and oh-so perfectly fits into the clothes and boxes. You are a Mage of Rage, and rather than constantly fret and worry over the best ways to contort and distort and ruin yourself so that you may fit snugly in these clothes and within that box - that coffin - you instead choose to dedicate yourself to a life of finding other instances of this Rage and how you may hone it as a means of liberation, revolution, and above all else, pure anarchy. Today is a beautiful day, and you are a Mage of Rage.

From the day we are born to the day we die, there will always be a constant, looming threat of judgement from our fellow people. Very few people are so bold as to even dare step out of the factory line that usher us through life, checking off all the boxes of perfect expectations. The Mage of Rage is one of those few to not only think of pulling off such a risky move, but they’ll do it in a way that is unmistakably an act of spite and rebellion. However, the Mage of Rage would need that extra shove to bring them to such a conclusion that this is the way they wish to live - alienated, judged, and to the most dedicated and extreme, outright hated and despised. Whether this be a personal shove wherein they come to the realization that they will never, ever fit into such tightly woven and uncomfortably shaped boxes and clothes, or they witness some of their own people begin to whisper about a world outside of these factory lines and walls; a world where everyone is their own person and there is no hatred, no judgement, no fear. All the Mage of Rage needs is a good enough spark to ignite their own passion and fury against the system they have been placed within.

While their passive counterpart may start out ignorant and take a much longer time to come around to the truth, the Mage of Rage is made well aware of these injustices and society’s false promises from a much earlier age. They are willing to put more thought into the inequalities surrounding them, to question and sometimes even challenge authority, as well as, for the especially daring ones, bring about a little chaos of their own. There are a few ways as to how the Mage of Rage may first acquire the bitter taste of reality and that, in the eyes of authority and society, not everyone is created nor should be treated as equal, all of these most likely occurring when the Mage of Rage is quite young. Ranging from being bullied and having no adult care that they are victim, while someone who experienced the same bullying is coddled and cared for, being known as the “weird” classmate that no one ever understands or even the “good in class, but could do with participating/speaking more” student, to getting in trouble for no reason other than something they did looked “suspicious” despite it being the same thing another child did. Whether it be from their own pondering and observations or another person, most likely an adult that has had similar struggles to them, the Mage of Rage would receive the beginning of their journey at a rather crucial and defining point in their life and development.

The Mage of Rage is most likely someone who could fall into the fashion of living under the idea of “It’s every man for himself”, especially if they are so often ostracized by their peers and people in general. One of the biggest things that marks a Mage of Rage is how outward they are about their opinions and beliefs, as well, especially if it means getting to spit into the faces of those who believe to be better than them. They are not someone who quietly sits by and allows for false truths and harmful ideologies to be spread around, and if they witness such a thing in person, then there is barely anything that will stop them from bringing about justified chaos. Due to how they act, though, they often don’t try to spend much time looking to form any relationships with people, especially if they may have differing views to the Mage of Rage. However, for them to actively reach out and help another person is often a great sign of trust and respect from the Mage of Rage, but don’t expect a spontaneous love to spark from them because of this. Oftentimes they will try to keep up the mindset that they don’t need anyone, and that they can survive in the world on their own - even if that is not entirely true. To become so aware of the sickening blind obedience surrounding one’s self could become grating on even the most patient of souls, and while some Mages of Rage may have more patience than others of their Classpect, there is most definitely one thing certain: if the Mage of Rage has fallen silent, chances are that they have reached their limit and breaking point.

While this may sound like a Mage of Rage that has come quite far in their journey, one would be sorely mistaken to hear that this is most likely what a young (though not entirely in regards to age) Mage of Rage would act like. Rage-bound are bringers of chaos, after all, and as such strive to bring about as much doubt, confusion, and terror that they can in their wake, if only to those they deem to be ignorant and unworthy of peace. The biggest challenge for the Mage of Rage is to not only survive gaining the knowledge of Rage, or gaining knowledge through it, but to also not allow their Aspect to devour their morality. Which is to say that, while they can see and know all the joy that comes from destroying the base of a corrupt and immoral society, they must learn patience in order to avoid ruining their cause and credibility by lashing out at foes at the most inappropriate of moments. This is one of the biggest sources of struggle for the Mage of Rage, with the source of their suffering being quite obvious to anyone who has ever known a Mage of Rage. The journey for the Mage of Rage, no matter the branch of knowledge they walk upon, is one of loneliness, doubt, and hostility. Let’s finally observe how these branches grow and may splinter off from each other, all while remembering that they all grow from the same tree - the same idea.

There are the Mages of Rage who choose, or are drawn, to journey down the path of gaining knowledge of Rage. They are the ones who have experienced the nature of their Aspect firsthand, but only in a brief and passing moment. Within that moment, something clicked, sparked, or shifted in their minds that brought upon a feeling - a hunger - that they must seek out more examples and situations attached to their Aspect. These Mages of Rage are ones who have very little fear when it comes to adventure. If anything, they see it as a type of thrill-seeking joyous occasion, even if the hunt for Rage leads them to some not-so-friendly groups, individuals, or places. The Mage of Rage does not care, though, so long as they are careful not to become too entangled in whatever uprising or revolution is brewing around them. With the way the Mage of Rage works and travels, it would be dishonest to say that they would remain unrecognizable to the eyes of those around them. No, they most definitely would gain a reputation of sorts, though what that reputation is truly depends on who is being questioned about it. 

Some may say the Mage of Rage is a no-good omen of destruction and anarchy - the broken and beaten husk of a town or organization left in their wake. Others may claim that the Mage of Rage is that of a sign, a blessing, perhaps even a gift, showing that freedom from the shackles of society is soon to come, and the feast upon those who have brought so many people oppression will arrive very shortly. Even if the Mage of Rage were to be made aware of these rumors and opinions about them, they would not care nor see the connection. Any good that comes of the Mage of Rage’s journey is all by coincidence because, as they would most likely say, “[they’re] just looking for opportunities, answers, chaotic fun, and knowledge”. Wherever the Mage of Rage finds themself to be, it is not because they are there to free people or stop an organization, but rather so they can simply gain a better understanding of how truly deep and far-out the roots of their tree are woven beneath the surface. It’s not that the Mage of Rage lacks empathy or sympathy, but rather they know deep down those feelings will only prevent them from making any progress in their journey. They crave immediate action and have the need to constantly be on the go - they rarely stay in one place for long. However, it is this impatience that so often brings them to make more enemies than friends, and as to be expected, the biggest growing obstacle for these Mages of Rage is that, if they are not careful, then they may fall victim to following the path of a Martyr before their journey is anywhere near finished. It is up to them to learn to take their time and be patient, get crafty, and perhaps find a few allies, even if their overall image is presented like that of a monster that stalks the lonely villages at night.

As for the Mages of Rage who so follow the path of gaining knowledge through Rage? Suffice to say, they are quite the chaotic bunch, and not exactly in the most pleasant way. While the former Mages of Rage simply seek out places filled to the brim with chaos, injustice, and in general in need of being liberated, these Mages of Rage are those who thought it would be quicker to gain knowledge and wisdom by allowing Rage to consume them. There is always a chance for redemption for many people, but there are so few Mages of Rage who choose this path that show any promise of climbing out from this hole. They are some of the most morally bankrupt of the Mages, seeing everything and everyone as a tank filled with knowledge that must be cracked open through whatever Rage-filled means possible. While some spread rumors that the former Mages of Rage are omens of chaos or saviors through destruction, most of the latter Mages of Rage are rotten down to their very core. In a way, these Mages of Rage are truly their Classpect at its most extreme and worst. If the Mage of Rage wishes to gain knowledge, then it would be wise to try and avoid them until their hunger has subsided if you want to avoid ending up in their crosshairs.

In the eyes of these Mages of Rage, the more chaos they bring into everyone’s and their own life, the better. They are someone who is not only ready and willing to set ablaze an entire forest in order to grow back something new and more pure, at least within their own vision and definition of such things, but if they find that some people are just as tainted as the forest, chances are that they will make sure those people go down with the rest of those woods. One of the most dangerous things about these Mages of Rage is that no one who knows them can say for certain when they will get these strong cravings for knowledge, which causes many people in the Mage’s life to be almost constantly on edge. However, no matter how cautious they believe themselves to be, very few people are ever capable of avoiding becoming a target for feeding, one way or another. Since Rage-bound are often stubborn in changing their opinions on things, these Mages are often the most stubborn of them all - believing their way to be the correct and purest one, and that anyone who dares challenge them is in for a world of pain, torment, and fear. When the Mage of Rage makes an enemy, it is never certain when they will strike. Perhaps they never will, and instead quietly relish in the fear and anxiety that comes off of their foe; anxiety and fear that gives only more knowledge to feed off of.

Whether the Mage of Rage presents themself to be a benevolent entity, simply appearing in places that need their help the most and acting upon such things, or they are a person deprived of morals and kindness, instead succumbing to their own anger, guilt, and hatred for the sake of knowledge, there is one thing for certain. The Mage of Rage may not seem like the most active threat, especially those who follow the path of gaining knowledge of their Aspect, but do not be fooled. They are still a Rage-bound at heart, and everyone knows how truly capricious they can be at times - especially if they want to play a little dirty. However, they can also be an important ally to have, if only for more inner-group and personal problems than anything else. They could easily be able to sniff out someone who poses a threat to the group, whether it be that person’s own rage, doubt, or fear. As such, they are the best person to put on the job for playing mediator, either between two friends who are having a disagreement or an entire dispute and rift happening within the group. It would be up to the Mage of Rage to discover the roots of these problems and address them appropriately, but that would be the biggest gamble of them all. Only the Mage of Rage knows for certain what plague of bitterness has infected their people, and who it has exactly infected. Considering the fluctuating moods of Mages in general, and then to add on the unpredictable and chaotic nature of Rage-bound, the Mage of Rage could become the best mediator within a group but also be the cause for its downfall - if they so choose to play such a nasty hand.

The Mage of Rage is one who is not afraid to play favorites, and if someone they particularly like turns out to be the cause of a problem or pose a threat to the group, then who is to say whether they will truly “snitch” on their friend for everyone else. After all, what has anyone else done for them? What are the benefits to tattling on someone who actually listens to them and believes the words that they are saying? To a particularly nasty Mage of Rage, there are none. After all, if they truly love to gain knowledge through Rage, they are someone who would rather leave everyone in states of paranoia and mistrust until it tears everyone apart. It would be unwise to not have at least one person keep an eye on the Mage of Rage at almost all times. However, not all Mages of Rage pose such large threats to a group’s integrity, tranquility, and honesty. For the Mages of Rage who have managed to acquire the skill of patience, they can prove themselves to be extremely valuable to the team. With their capability to gain knowledge of Rage, specifically of destruction, they could play an important part in creating large game plans for the team and securing victory with ease. They could pinpoint all of the easiest ways to attack an enemy and smite it. As their power of knowledge grows, so does their capability to take down their opponents swiftly and cleanly, unless they wish for it to be messy. The Mage of Rage is one who saw the truth of the world around them, and after breaking free of the shackles and tossing away the clothes forced upon them, they have found the robes and garbs that best fit them and show who they truly are. The Mage of Rage is someone who can either be someone’s savior, or their reaper. All that truly matters in that judgement is whether they deem you as a blind fool or a pitiful victim to the system. Remember, when the Mage of Rage is quiet, that is when peace has been eliminated from within their mind.

[queer-cat-policy]

Hi! I’m Ace!

Hi, I am ace. Not like the ace of spades but rather ace as in the slang for Asexual. And here I am, telling you, a stranger this. Not just a stranger but many. Writing essays, countless posts, and telling the world as kindly as possible about how I exist is pretty exhausting. But it is more exhausting being invisible. So now I join a movement, an invisible one fighting for visibility, so that maybe, just maybe, we find others like us.

I like to be fully disclosed, I will give you the definition of asexuality but the rest of it is all me. You cannot apply this article to learn about your friends. Maybe, if they are anything like me, you gain some insight, but the reality is, I write this in hopes that someone reading it will feel a little less alone in the world. Maybe this helps you understand that you are not abnormal, instead you are a human being first and foremost and deserve empathy like one. So, what I am saying is, do not take this article as the be all of asexuality. If you have an asexual friend in your life, you should ask them the questions you have with the intention of strengthening your relationship and becoming informed on a topic you previously were not informed about. And if you are asexual and my experiences don’t resonate with you, I encourage you to seek the rest of the community and know you are valid and you are not alone.

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality by itself at its most basic, universal definition, is defined as a lack of sexual attraction. And that’s it. The rest is a spectrum. There are many different types of asexual people, every single one has different experiences and feelings of attraction or may not even feel attraction at all. So we call this a spectrum and some parts of the spectrum have different titles. I think most people have no idea that attraction outside sexual attraction exists, meaning they didn’t know there are other names for attraction. Someone who identifies as asexual but is still attracted to people can feel aesthetic attraction, romantic attraction, physical attraction, emotional attraction, intellectual attraction, social attraction… and the list goes on.

There is something called the A-spectrum which isn’t just asexuality but aromantic, demi romantic, gray romantic, demi sexual, and gray sexual. Demi means that that attraction does not occur until an emotional bond is formed, gray means someone who has limited experiences with that attraction.

What Makes Me Asexual?

Asexuality means something different for every single person who identifies under it and because I can’t name really every type of asexual person out there, I am going to tell you a little bit about myself.

I am asexual because I feel no sexual attraction to anyone. I, in particular, do not want sex and am quite repulsed at the idea of it. I don’t enjoy the sex obsessed culture either and tend not to partake in it. I do however find people attractive for several reasons, it is usually an individual thing. I emotionally bond with people before I feel anything towards them for one. The attraction from there can be emotional or aesthetic. I know what type of personalities I draw in and enjoy interacting with too. I date and have been in about three relationships in my life but only one was long term.

Romantically, I don’t tend to identify. I say this because things change from person to person (as in depending on the individual I am attracted to). I will usually umbrella myself following the explanation of my asexual identity, stating that I am queer alongside being asexual or if I’m not comfortable talking about my asexuality, I leave it at queer. I say queer because I am attracted to different people for different reasons and sometimes gender isn’t necessarily a discriminating factor. I have mostly emotionally bonded with men in the past, but I find women physically and aesthetically attractive. Additionally, I am not exclusively attracted to men or women, I also can be attracted to transgender and non-binary people.

Is Asexuality in LGBT?

The Asexual community gets a lot of ping pong discussion about rather or not we are apart of the LBGTQIA+ Community. Some people believe that if you are just asexual and hetero-romantic and cis… then you should not be identifying as part of the LGBTQIA+ Community. I won’t get to deep into it, but the truth is, the A is for the asexual spectrum, not just the queer asexual folks. And we too have struggles, some much like the rest of the community and some very different. To leave out asexual people is aphobic in my personal opinion and a gatekeeping tactic. I one time read someone who was upset that the community had become like “the island of misfit toys.” I won’t tell you what to believe about this, but I’ll definitely talk about this in later posts so if you’re interested in reading more about it, keep an eye out!

The Fears of Asexuals…

We live in a sex obsessed culture. Sex is literally everywhere. It is in music, TV, movies, school, social life, work, art, commercials, food----- This culture is absolutely thriving (this is not a good thing) off of the exploitation of sexuality. Especially of women. If you can’t understand the problem with this, imagine hating the super bowl around Thanksgiving or Christmas at… well Christmas, when every store, elevator, billboard, TV series, and artist is throwing Christmas in your face. Except for asexual people, this is our life everyday we wake up and live in the world. Every. Day.

Because everyone around us is so obsessed with sex, asexual people can feel overwhelmingly alone. And for those seeking a significant other, that is a legitimate fear. Everyone else around us in relationships all require the one thing we will not give: Sex. You’ll never guess the number of times I get unmatched on dating apps after someone asks me what asexual means or after the first time I mention it outside my profile… because I guess if I don’t say anything than all the flags on my profile that include my sexual identity can be potentially false?

Asexual people, because many of us are very uncultured in sexual cues and such, are also at risk of being sexually abused and assaulted. Asexual people have gotten into situations where they are legitimately sexually attacked either because they have rejected someone or someone tries to change them by forcing themselves on them, or because they miss cues. Remember though if you have been sexually assaulted it is not your fault. There is no “what if I did this differently.” We are trained currently to be blameful of ourselves in sexual assault situations. But the fact is, if you did not consent to it- if there was no clear/in the right mind consent to it- it should not have happened and there is absolutely no excuse on the attacker’s part that should change that verdict.

Another part to being in a sex obsessed culture is just the sheer disbelief that people exist that do not want it. Rather it is for the intimacy or instincts, it will truly awestruck people of all kinds to the point they may tell us that we are not real. Not valid. Every asexual person has heard “you haven’t found the right person,” “How do you know if you’ve never had it,” “you can’t be asexual, you have a significant other,” “Love can’t really exist without sex,” “you’re just scared.” And we think about these things like ‘what if,’ and let other people’s invalidation of our identities invalidate ourselves.

Asexual Relationships?

It is a common misconception that asexual people do not date or do not have these kinds of intimate relationships. It is true that some people who identify as asexual also identify as aromatic or choose not to date or seek intimate relationships, but this does not describe the entire asexual community. Some asexual people will only date other asexual people, some do not. Asexual people in non-asexual relationships may come to a compromise in that relationship or vice versa. But it is incredibly important to remember that what matters most is that both parties are being satisfied. That may mean we discover that this partner is not the one. The needs need to be met on both sides.

As previously mentioned, there are a lot of people who think love must come with sex. You are more likely to come across someone with that mindset on the street than not. I personally try to meet people via online dating, and I would not say I have been 100% successful or unsuccessful. I have made several friends, I have had a boyfriend, I have done a lot of dating, I’ve also been unmatched as soon as they realize I am not wanting to sleep with them. That can be extremely… demeaning. And bad for self-esteem. I wrote something a little about how it feels to be consistently rejected for being asexual. I get rejected sometimes before people even know what asexual is. They know it is something from the LGBTQIA+ Community, it’s not straight, it’s not normal. And yes, maybe I shouldn’t want to be with someone like that but it feels like there are more people like that than not and there is no cure for the overwhelming fear that I will end up alone. It also creates an uncertain anxiety when I do not know why I may have been rejected. My brain defaults to “it’s because I’m asexual” and I go through the same devastation I would if I knew for sure it’s because I am asexual.

On the other side are the people who decide to date an asexual with the intention of being the one to “fix us.” Or they think it will change- because ultimately, they don’t believe in asexuality. Or they think it is personal, like instead of me being repulsed by sex I am repulsed by the person. For me, since I am not a very physically affectionate person (even when I am that comfortable with someone, it is very limited), that’s more common than I ever thought possible. That kind of says something about our society more than the individual, in my personal opinion. It says that our society as values our sexuality (especially as women) more than other parts of our personality.

Something I will include in here, friendships. A lot of my friends do not know how to talk about my sexuality. They don’t know what it is, it makes them uncomfortable, they think they have to give me the sex ed run down, or they think I have to be in PG settings all the time to be comfortable. No, I don’t necessarily want to hear in detail about your sex life but if there’s something you want to tell me, I’m not a fragile flower you have to protect. Friends also may constantly bring up my sexuality in an environment where it may not be comfortable. My friends have sometimes flaunted it like a golden ticket, like a token queer friend. I have to tell them to stop and if they don’t, I have to reconsider our friendship. Our sexual orientations are personal, no matter how out and forward we are, it belongs to us, to you. Coming out belongs to you and it is never insignificant enough to deserve to happen against your own free will.

Dear Ace Community Let’s Communicate!

The last thing I want to add here is just a suggestion for the asexual community. I see a lot of people who post about the exhaustion that comes with having to constantly re-explain ourselves to partners, friends, people of interest… Stop being exhausted. Do not tell them to google it. Someone is trying to understand you, googling is not understanding you. Take it as a compliment and be ready to explain and advocate for yourself and our community. Communication is so important. Google does not tell that person who you are, especially because we are on such a wide spectrum. I advise strongly against it. And probably, when you have to have that conversation, don’t have it over text. At least for me, I say so many more meaningful things when it’s face to face or over the phone at the very least versus over text message. I’m not just being a parrot of information from what I know the internet has told me, I’m telling that person about myself and what it means for me to be asexual. Communicate what it means for you to be asexual.

If you have an asexual friend, don’t be afraid of them. Know that you can’t change who they are, they don’t want you to try, you can’t “fix them.” If you don’t understand them, ask questions and don’t be critical.

Thank you so much for reading! If you have any question, reach out on my tumblr or contact page!

[ts1989fanatic]

TS7 is finally here!

If you’re like me or any of the millions of Swifties out there, the arrival of this next era is just as exciting as a brand-new bookshelf full of reads you get to experience for the first time.

After listening to the album on repeat all weekend, I decided to celebrate Lover with a book roundup inspired by each of the songs (since it’s the only thing I’ll be listening to for the foreseeable future, don’t @ me.).

ts1989fanatic an interesting perspective well written obviously a swiftie.

1. “I Forgot That You Existed” (Best Friends Forever, by Jennifer Weiner)

You heard it from Taylor first: indifference is the new vengeance. This solid album-opener is upbeat and poppy, a nice contrast with the lyrics about the (final?) end of a broken relationship, friendship (or feud), when you actually forget that the person you once had so much ire for still lives. She transitions from “Your name on my lips, tongue-tied/Free rent, living in my mind” to “forgot that you existed/and I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t” with ease. But of course, insisting that you forget someone existed while singing about them would introduce interesting tension into any relationship. It reminded me of Jennifer Weiner’s Best Friends Forever, about what happens when a former friend shows up on your doorstep in a crisis, insisting you’re the only one who can help them out of a tight spot (when you’d rather do anything but).

2. “Cruel Summer” (Do You Want to Start a Scandal, by Tessa Dare)

Lyrically and sonically, this is one of my favorites on the entire album (it’s so good it should have been a single!) It’s got an Out of the Woods meets Getaway Car vibe in terms of the melody. Wistful, a bit haunting, but also a total bop. “So cut the headlights, summer’s a knife/I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone” describes a low point in Swift’s life (Summer 2016, ugh), juxtaposed with the high of discovering new love. There are so many books I could have picked for this, but “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you” reminded me of the Regency romance trope where the heroine has a secret, or finds herself in a situation where her reputation is at stake, but is still tempted by a handsome rogue who might lead her into temptation and true love. (Sound a bit familiar?) Do You Want to Start a Scandal by Tessa Dare feels like the perfect accompaniment to this song about a woman who must prove her innocence in the face of a sullied reputation or be forced to marry a man she doesn’t think she could ever love.

3. “Lover” (Roomies, by Christina Lauren)

The title track (and the one I’ve been singing in the shower for days) is a swoony daydream of a couple in complete harmony, as Swift spins wedding vow-like lyrics such as “With every guitar string scar on my hand/I take this magnetic force of a man to be my…lover/My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue/all’s well that end’s well to end up with you/swear to be overdramatic and true/to my…lover.” But Swift is all about balance in her songs, so imagery of keeping up the Christmas lights in “our place” is juxtaposed with suspicion that “everyone who sees you wants you.” This track reminded me of Roomies by Christina Lauren, with its musician main character and the trope of having to share a space while inevitably falling in love.

4. “The Man” (The Whisper Network, by Chandler Baker)

The double-standards between men and women have been explored in songs and novels since both art forms existed. Swift has already confronted the media’s perception of her as a victim, as a girl who goes on too many dates but can’t make them stay, etc. But in “The Man”, she more directly confronts how different she’d be treated if she were the opposite gender. How could I not think of the new thriller The Whisper Network, about a group of women who come forward about their male boss’ behavior of harassment in the workplace. Instead of continuing to suffer in silence, they tell the truth, resulting in an explosive conflict. I sort of saw the ending coming, but was very glad I was right.

5. “The Archer” (Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)

Another slower, lyric-driven track on the album with gut-punching truths about love, friendship, and holding on to the one who has your heart. “The Archer” is associated with being a Sagittarius (which Swift is), but also her dynamic with the world. “Who could ever leave me, darling?/But who could stay?” is self-aware in a new way for Swift, as is “I never grew up, it’s getting so old” or “I see right through me.” This is one of my favorite tracks on the album, as Swift confronts her cultivated image as both archer and prey of fame and of love. Listening to the rising energy of the track as it builds to a anti-fairy-tale crescendo plus Swift’s lyrics made me think of Pride and Prejudice: Elizabeth Bennet is forced to acknowledge how her own prejudices have made it difficult for others to love her, but that she is deserving of an imperfect love. (And how could “All of my enemies started out friends” not remind you of awful Mr. Wickham?)

6. “I Think He Knows” (The Duke and I, by Julia Quinn)

After a slower song, this heats things up a bit, describing the early sizzle of a relationship before it even starts. For an entire album that sings the praises of a man, I liked the moment in the pre-chorus where she says “He’s so obsessed with me, and boy, I understand.” Own your worth, girl! The bridge was my favorite part of this song (as it often is with Swift; girl knows how to bridge) as it played with tempo and rhyme. “Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh/We can follow the sparks, I’ll drive.” Swift explores the tension of the moment between seeing someone and initiating contact—songs like these always sting with a bit of danger, too, because the man knows she wants him but neither of them say anything in public about it. She’s whispering in the dark, which gives me serious secret romance vibes. The Duke and I by Julia Quinn is about Simon, who is planning to propose to his BFF’s sister even though he doesn’t actually love her. It’s an arrangement that suits them both, but before they both know it, Daphne is giving Simon serious “I Think he Knows” vibes.

7. “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” (The Cheerleaders, by Kara Thomas)

If you don’t get the oft-spoken adage that “politics is like high-school,” this song takes the metaphor to the next level. Subtly political but 100% heartbreaking, Swift reimagines the political sphere (and her role in it) as a high school romance, moving from “American glory, faded before me,” painting the democratic 2016 election loss as a ripped-up prom dress (from Miss Americana, who assumed she would win.) Oozing drama and storytelling the way only Swift can, I love the moody elements of the brokenhearted girl contrasted with the new riff on a cheerleading chant (Go Fight Win!). This song is about mourning loss and then finding the strength to say “I know we’re going to win,” but it’s haunting melody and lyrics led me to pick a Cheerleader-inspired thriller. The Cheerleaders is about a string of cheerleaders murdered in a small town five years ago… and just when everyone thinks it’s time to move on, one girl becomes the center of a mystery that never truly died.

8. “Paper Rings” (The Royal We, by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan)

I’m on my fourth listen of the album and this might be my favorite track on it (though that changes minute by minute, with an album as dynamic as this—just to further accentuate the point, by the time of posting this piece, my new favorite might be I Think He Knows?). It’s a totally retro, ’60s style song—a totally fresh sound for Swift, and one that fits perfectly with her new aesthetic. (Makes me wonder why this wasn’t one of the singles released before the record.) It is a gold-mine for Swiftian lyricism, with so many gems I can’t possibly call them all out, and it moves so fast (like a good read) that you both want to cascade over them and pause to hear each line at least 5x before it passes you by. It’s an unabashed love song, relishing in the joy of knowing you’re with the one you love so much that “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings”. The line that stuck out the most was “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this,” which made me think of when Bex Porter goes to Oxford in The Royal We and, completely by accident, falls in love with the heir to the throne.

9. “Cornelia Street” (Passion on Park Avenue, by Lauren Layne)

“Cornelia Street” is sort of the antithesis to I Think He knows. It’s about remembering the early days of a new relationship (“We were a fresh page on the desk/filling in the blanks as we go”) and being more than willing to give up all the good that comes with fresh starts in order to settle into something real. It aches with melancholy, because any time we give something up should be a little sad—but it brims with hope and Swift’s trademarked optimism about love. “I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends/I’d never walk Cornelia Street again/ That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend.” I had to pick an NYC-set story for this, like Lauren Layne’s Passion on Park Avenue. The city is another character in the romance between a successful jewelry-business owner and the son of the woman her mother used to work for.

10. “Death By a Thousand Cuts” (Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better, by Madisen Kuhn)

Inspired by the Netflix movie Something Great, this is one of the few sad songs on the record, about a girl going through a breakup who can’t help but linger in happier memories. (For the record: “I dress to kill my time” is genius, as are so many of these lyrics.) Only Swift is so good at pairing such devastating messaging with a pop beat you can’t help but want to sing. This song was the hardest one to pick a book for (especially because it’s already inspired by a movie) so I decided to go with a poetry collection! Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better is all about the aches and sun rays of growing up, told in a staggeringly relatable voice that will make you want to curl up on the couch and cry your eyes out.

11. “London Boy” (Red, White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston)

This is 100% about Joe Alwyn, but also… Taylor dated at least two Brits that we know of before him, so this song is also about what we already knew (“the rumors are true”): she has a penchant for London Boys. Essentially a road map of her favorite places in the city, this indulgent ditty trades “Tennessee Whiskey” for “A gray sky, a rainy cab ride” and of course, her man by her side. Red, White, and Royal Blue is the perfect pick for this song, about two boys who fall in love (after a rough start where they were almost enemies) amidst those gray, rainy skies… but one of them happens to be the son of an American President, and the other, the current Prince of England.

12. “Soon You’ll Get Better (feat. Dixie Chicks)” (Swamplandia! by Karen Russell)

Of all the songs on the album, this one gave me the most vintage Swift vibes. There’s no denying that she is an astonishingly talented songwriter, especially when you listen to what is essentially her greatest fear laid bare on this track with just a bit of guitar and the Dixie Chicks harmonizing in the background. Here, the story shines: Swift’s mother has been sick for a number of years, and while they’ve mostly kept the details of that battle private, this is the most vulnerable moment of love for her mother on an album mostly about finding true love. “Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you/Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus, too.” A friend of mine recently lost their mother just after getting married, and it made me marvel at how life often delivers us highs and lows to grapple with simultaneously. While all of this was going on—Kanye and Kim, Joe and London, another world tour, another album—in the background, Swift has been terrified of losing her mother. This song made me think of Swamplandia!, a novel about a young girl living in a gator-wrestling theme park where her mother used to be the main event, until she passed away. Now, in the wake of her death, the girl and her siblings must grapple with their mother’s legacy as a competing business rises up to swallow the success she built on the swamp.

13. “False God” (City of Girls, by Elizabeth Gilbert)

Is that a saxophone in the background of a Taylor Swift song? This slow, jazzy number is all about love and desire—and how we come back to it even when the world around us (and sometimes we, ourselves) put it in jeopardy. “And I can’t talk to you when you’re like this/Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town/I’m New York City” and other lyrics referencing New York seem to be the grounding force in an otherwise tumultuous relationship. Multiple times on this record Swift has alluded to rough patches in her current happiness, but connection is always the solution to fixing it. She seems to say that if you treat your relationship like it’s your religion, you can get through anything. This is one of the sexier songs on the album, but it’s also got serious NYC vibes, so I’m picking City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert: a novel all about relishing romance in the glitzy 1940’s New York Theater scene, but also how desire can either set us on the road to ruin, or redemption.

14. “You Need to Calm Down” (The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, by Taylor Jenkins Reid)

This song has done what Swift does best: inspire conversation and a bit of controversy. Acknowledging that it was past time for her to be an outspoken ally for the LGBTQIAP+ community, YNTCD tackles the various ways communities are pitted against one another (especially on the internet.) The first verse examines her personal haters (“Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out/But you say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out), the second calls out homophobes (“Shade never made anybody less gay”), and the third examines how her relationships with her female contemporaries have often been antagonistic, something she herself has been responsible perpetuating in the past with songs like “Bad Blood” and “Better Than Revenge” (“We all know now, we all got crowns/you need to calm down.”) The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is about a famous actress who hid the great female love of her life behind multiple male partners and uses her platform to tell the truth (all while hiding one last devastating secret). While Taylor herself has not come out as part of the LGBTQ community, she has come out as an ally, and this book made me think about the issues of privacy, platform, allyship, and identity that the song also confronts. If there’s more to the story of Swift’s relationship to the LGBTQIAP+ community, she’s going to share it on her own terms.

15.“Afterglow” (Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams)

This song ranks high on my favorites from the album, and it’s a rare genre from Swift: the apology song. (The other famous one is Speak Now’s “Back to December.”) In this mid-tempo song with slamming drums and a breathy falsetto, Swift yearns for the partner she pushed away to meet her in the moments after the fight ends. “It’s all me, in my head/I’m the one who burned us down/ but it’s not what I meant,” she insists. There’s still hope here though, as opposed to earlier songs on the record that signal the doom of a friendship or a breakup after-the-fact. Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams, is a novel about a girl coming to terms with her role in a failed relationship, a career she can’t seem to succeed in, and friends she unknowingly betrays. “Why’d I have to break what I love so much?” is a question asked in this song’s chorus, and one Queenie must answer in order to find real, lasting happiness.

16. “ME! (feat. Brendon Urie)” (Crazy Rich Asians, by Kevin Kwan)

This self-love anthem is bubblegum sweet and full of earworms: the “Shake it Off“ of the TS7 Era. It makes me think of lightning-fast beach reads that you can’t put down and that feel so good to read but also have a deeper meaning to them. Just because it’s not the most lyrically advanced of her songs doesn’t mean this bop doesn’t deserve to be celebrated— it reminded me of how romances constantly get a bad rep (lol, see what I did there?) as somehow lesser than other genres. I love that Taylor doesn’t care about what other people think and is 100% focused on being her authentic self— just like the heroine of Crazy Rich Asians, Rachel Chu. When confronted with the wealth and expectations of her boyfriend Nick’s family (who don’t think she’s good enough for him), she insists it’s her individuality that makes her the perfect partner for him.

17. “It’s Nice to Have a Friend” (This Love Story Will Self-Destruct, by Leslie Cohen)

This track might be my second favorite? It’s so different (Ukulele? Trombone? Is that what I’m hearing?) and such a contrast to the beginning of the album, the opener closes the door on a once meaningful friendship. It’s also a deceiving song, in that I’m still not 100% sure what it’s about. I think Swift is exploring the importance of friendship in all its forms: in childhood (“School bell rings, walk me home”) to adolescence “Something gave you the nerve/to touch my hand”) to romantic love (“Church bells ring, carry me home/rice on the ground looks like snow”). Ultimately, she may be saying that the most important thing about a romantic partner is that they make you feel like you have a friend—when you’re young, the thing that matters most is feeling seen by other people. If your lover is also your best friend, then you know they always have your back. A love story that takes place over two characters’ twenties, This Love Story Will Self-Destruct is about the missteps, betrayals, beautiful moments and connection that forms between two people over a decade.

18. “Daylight” (Evvie Drake Starts Over, by Linda Holmes)

“My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in.” What a way to begin this album closer. Swift’s last tracks have a tradition of being the ones that are most emblematic of her current state of mind, but they also have developed certain themes over time. Renewal, starting over, self-reflection, and hope are all subjects “Daylight” sheds a little light on. She acknowledges past failings (“I wounded the good and trusted the wicked”) and what she wants for the future (“I once believed love would be [burning red]/but it’s golden”). A book that feels like daylight on your skin is what’s needed for this song, and I think Evvie Drake Starts Over is the perfect pick: a story about a woman still grieving the loss of her husband but who finds herself moving on with a former major league baseball player. Both of them have pasts they are healing from, but together, they find hope for the future. “I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night/and now I see daylight.” And, unlike (I think?) any other song in her catalogue, she speaks in the end, not sings, in a direct appeal to her audience. Her very last words are “You are what you love.” Well, I love Taylor Swift. I love a good song lyric to sink my teeth into, or to sing. I love love. And I love a good story, whether it comes from a song or a book, and when you’re done with the album, I hope you find some here.

[delicioussshame]

Last part of the modern AU. Still crack.

Yuan don’t delete this message is the subject of the very suspicious email Shen Yuan just got from what looks like one of those email addresses that are good for five minutes.

Since he’s pretty sure who that’s from, he clicks on it with trepidation.

Inside it are two tickets to Málaga Airport and the following message: You’re coming to my wedding.

Shen Yuan stares at the message for five minutes.

Of course Shen Jiu eloped. Of fucking course he did. Shen Yuan can see it in his mind. Shen Jiu telling their parents he’s getting married. Their mother eagerly asking which heiress caught his eyes. Shen Jiu picking someone unsuitable. Fake tears from his mother, disapproval barely hidden under a thin cover of concern from his father. Shen Jiu having no patience for their antics.

A wedding without them somewhere in the south of Spain.

…At least he got two tickets. “Binghe, we’re going to a wedding.”

_____________

It’s the closest to a fight they ever had.

Luo Binghe outright refuses to let him go. He says it’s too dangerous.

Shen Yuan reminds him that there would be way simpler ways to kill him than invite not only Shen Yuan himself but also Binghe, by the way, to a wedding. Weddings, Binghe! Shen Yuan is sure that Luo Binghe is the kind of sap that cries at weddings.

Luo Binghe tells him he’ll warn his parents, who, after all, are the ones who hired him.

“If you stop me from going, I won’t forgive you.” There. See if a softie like Luo Binghe can resist that.

To top it all, he fixes his expression into his blandest mask.

Luo Binghe tears up.

Shen Yuan refuses to flinch. He’s going to his brother’s wedding. If anything, he needs to know what kind of pretty lady managed to bind Shen Jiu in matrimony. He never thought his brother would give up the family business for love of all things, which it must be. Shen Yuan cannot think of anything less worth giving up his future.

Luo Binghe wouldn’t fall for that reasoning, so… “Shen Jiu is my only brother. He invited me to his wedding. I cannot not be there. If you don’t want to go, I’ll go by myself. Someone from the family should be there.”

Luo Binghe wipes his teary eyes. “A-Yuan really needs to be there?”

Shen Yuan nods.

“To the point of risking his life for it?”

Inwardly, he sighs. He’s not risking his life!

Outwardly, he nods again.

“…Fine. But A-Yuan must stay by my side at all times.”

“…You can’t bring a gun on the plane.”

“I’ll get one once we’re there. I know someone.”

...Shen Jiu better not try to kill him. Can’t hold a wedding if the husband is dead.  

_____________

Who the fuck are all these people staring at him with disgust? What’s their problem? Are they just jealous their dates aren’t as hot as his?

What? They’re not.

Not that most of these people aren’t ridiculously attractive. Shen Yuan is starting to get self-conscious. Did Shen Jiu pick his bride from a model agency and these are all her friends?

“You’re Shen Jiu’s brother?”

Shen Yuan turns towards the pissed off looking lady. “Yes. You are?”

“Tell me what’s good about him.”

Shen Yuan blinks. “Why should I?” So rude. She didn’t even introduce herself.

She snorts. “Because I asked.”

“Don’t talk to my boyfriend that way.”

Well, that’s that. Luo Binghe now looks as pissed off as she does.

Great.

“This one too? Seriously, there must be something of worth to your lineage. You can’t just be good in bed, which is my only guess. I’m not going to find that out myself.”

Shen Yuan chokes.

Luo Binghe has his hand where his gun rests under his clothes.

“What I don’t understand is why I agreed to let you come to my wedding.”

“Please, I wouldn’t be here if it was just your wedding.”

Shen Yuan hasn’t seen Shen Jiu in months, but he looks well. That’s nice.

He also shouldn’t be at this pre-wedding reception. “What are you doing here!? Shouldn’t you be preparing for the ceremony?”

“Yes, but I need my best man, so shut up and come with me.”

“What, really?” It is possible Shen Yuan is touched. He never thought Shen Jiu would trust him with anything of value, ever.

“Yes. Come.”

“Don’t kill him!” That comment is intended for Luo Binghe, who is just thrilled at the way Shen Jiu is pulling at Shen Yuan, he can tell.

In the background, he can hear the woman mutters. “Oh, don’t stop yourself on my account.”

_____________

“Wait here, I need to talk to my brother. Who is not going to kill me. Tell him you’re not going to kill me.”

“If I wanted Yuan killed, he would be dead and there would be nothing you could do about it.”

“Brother! Binghe, wait here, okay? I’ll be back.”

Luo Binghe glares, knuckles turning white from his too tight hold on his gun. “You’d better, or your brother’s fiancée will never get to become his wife.”

Shen Jiu slams the door close in his face.

Great. Shen Jiu and Luo Binghe have talked to each other for less than a minute total and they already hate each other’s guts.

Not that that’s not a normal reaction around Shen Jiu. “How did you even manage to get someone to marry you if you always act like this? Who is she anyway?”

“Says you. What would our parents say if they knew you were dating your bodyguard?”

For a second, Shen Yuan really wishes he was a good enough liar to fool his brother. “Nothing. We’re not dating.”

“Please. Do you think I’m stupid?”

“It’s true!”

Shen Jiu stares at him. “It’s a cover story?”

“…Something like that.”

He keeps staring. “Something like that.”

Shen Yuan missed Shen Jiu’s unbelieving disapproval not at all. “Yes, something like that.”

“So are you pining by yourself or are you two fucking?”

Shen Yuan chokes.

“So both. Well done.”

Shen Yuan stares at the door longingly. “Don’t you have to put your clothes on, get your hair styled or something, anything? Because I cannot think of a single reason why I fought with Binghe to come here anymore, and I still have no idea how you got someone to stand you long enough to even begin to consider getting married to you.”

“You’re the one that needs help aesthetically. Don’t worry, I got you something decent for you to wear.”

Shen Yuan sighs. What he’s wearing could easily feed a family of four for weeks, but whatever. Shen Jiu’s standards have always been something else.

“Fine. Do your worst.”

He already knows he’s going to regret it.

_____________

Shen Yuan now gets the uncomprehending stares. He’s known Yue Qingyuan for all of a few hours, and he already knows he’s too nice for his brother. What the fuck happened there? Which of them catfished the other? Did Yue Qingyuan pass himself off as a beautiful woman in an attempt at getting the family fortune, and Shen Jiu was so impressed by his daring he fell in love with him?

…He could see that happening.

Not that he’s gonna ask. Shen Jiu wouldn’t tell him anyway.

Oh well, it was a nice wedding, regardless of the identity of the happy couple.

“Your brother and his husband don’t seem well matched.”

“I know, right? I don’t get it, but whatever, if he’s happy, who cares. I sure hope he’ll be, to get disowned for it.”

Luo Binghe freezes in the middle of removing his shirt for bed. “Disowned?”

Shen Yuan shrugs. “It might not last. My parents will probably get over it at some point. It’s not like they ever thought frail Shen Yuan would inherit. They’ve been grooming Shen Jiu for it all his life. Once they get used to the idea, they’ll rethink their current stance.” He hopes. Maybe if Shen Jiu procreates. Shen Yuan is pretty sure grandchildren could overcome his parents’ disappointment.

“…Would you get disowned if you married someone your family didn’t approve of?”                      

“Probably, not that it matters. I’m not getting married anytime soon.”

“…Why not?”

He shrugs. “Who would marry me? The women who come looking only want my family’s status and fortune. Now that Shen Jiu is completely out of the picture, I suppose it’ll get worse. I’m fine with my current situation, thanks.”

“…I would marry you.”

Shen Yuan ignores the way his pulse race. Instead, he pats Luo Binghe’s head. “Thank you, but Luo Binghe should marry someone he really loves, not saddle himself with me. He can do better.”

Luo Binghe, for some reason, looks outraged.

What? Did he say something wrong?

“What’s that nonsense? How could I possibly do better than A-Yuan?”

Shen Yuan blinks at him. “Huh, you could just look around yourself? Everyone that was here tonight is better looking than me? They’re not better looking than you, obviously, but still, they’d be a better fit with you.”

“Is A-Yuan blind? Everyone would agree he was the most beautiful person here.”

Shen Yuan knows for a fact that’s a lie. Like Shen Jiu would have allowed for that. “Did you drink? Did someone drug you? Oh god are you okay, how many fingers?”

“I’m fine. I’ve been careful. Four fingers.”

Shen Yuan is sure that Luo Binghe’s definition of being careful was closer to paranoia than anything else. Still. “Are you sure you don’t want to go see a doctor? I’m sure Shen Jiu can find us someone if you need to.”

“The only treatment I need is A-Yuan by my side. Forever would be good.”

Luo Binghe can be so sappy.

Shen Yuan doesn’t need that kind of service. “Seriously, this is nice, don’t get me wrong, but Binghe really does deserve better. He should look for someone to build a family with.”

Maybe Luo Binghe really did ingest something bad. He doesn’t seem well.

“A-Yuan, I don’t understand. I don’t want anyone but you. Why would I? By your side is where I’m happiest.”

Luo Binghe can’t be this foolish? “You know that’s not true. You should pick someone that, I don’t know, I’m not the person for this, all I have as reference are terrible novels, but someone whose smile makes you happy? Someone whose face you’d want to wake up to? Someone you share interests with? Someone you can see yourself grow old with? Not someone who can buy you nice things and that’s it.”

Now he’s really hoping Luo Binghe is drunk out of his ass. That way he won’t remember Shen Yuan lecturing him on what should be obvious.

“…A-Yuan cannot possibly think his only worth is his wealth?”

“Well, no.” Shen Yuan isn’t ugly? He’s just not anywhere near as hot as Luo Binghe. He’s smart? He knows things? He’s available? He’s… other nice things he can’t think of right now. He has qualities!

Just not any he can think of that would make Luo Binghe… love… him. “You could still do better. Binghe has so much going for him! He’s charming, kind, a good cook, intelligent, trained to keep someone safe, outgoing, good in bed, charismatic, fit, patient, I could go on! He should get a nice wife to pamper him.”

Luo Binghe’s smile is stunning. “I have no interest in being pampered by some woman. I’d much prefer to keep pampering A-Yuan, and being pampered by him.”

“That’s just because it’s convenient! We already live together, so maintaining a love life with someone else would be hard for you. Once you’re done with this job, you’ll find me a much less attractive prospect.”

“I don’t want this job to end. No, that’s not it. I don’t mind not being paid to stay with A-Yuan. If I need to, I’ll get a more regular job as a local security consultant or something similar. But I’m not taking another full-time client. I want to stay close to you.”

“But that’s…” Dumb? Ridiculous? A bad life choice? “probably not a good idea. Don’t throw your future away for me.”

“Shen Yuan is my future.”

Well.

That’s… clear.

Huh.

“Wait, when you were saying you loved me, were you being serious?”

“A-Yuan! What else could I have been!”

Shit.

…

…

“Is A-Yuan not just shy? He doesn’t care about me?”

Oh no. Oh no please don’t start crying now when Shen Yuan can barely get two neurons to work together. “No that’s not it, I care, I just didn’t think Binghe did.”

Well that sounds terrible. “Forget that, that’s not it either, I thought Binghe would finish his job and move on to his next client and that would be it. A nice memory, but nothing more.”

Aannd Binghe is crying. Damn fucking it.

Fuck Shen Jiu and his damned wedding. He hopes his wedding night is terrible. “Binghe, don’t cry, I’m right here, aren’t I? Sorry I’m an idiot, I don’t have much romantic experience. See, that’s why I thought you would go looking elsewhere.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Shen Yuan is patting Luo Binghe’s back and wishing he had the capacity to manage this. “Let’s have a honeymoon too.”

Luo Binghe pushes back to look at him. “What?”

“Let’s go on a trip somewhere nice, just the two of us, somewhere where no one cares who we are. We’ll figure it all out after, okay? Where would you like to go? I think Shen Jiu is going to Bora Bora, but then again I wasn’t really listening so maybe it was somewhere else. Is there something you want to visit?”

Luo Binghe wipes his eyes. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Take your time. We’ll have lots of it, okay?”

“…Okay.”

Who ever thought Shen Yuan of all people had the ability to soothe distressed people? Dealing with his own issues is more than enough, thanks.

He keeps patting Luo Binghe’s back uselessly, keeping track of his irregular breathing until it’s smooth against. “Better?”

“...Yes.”

“Good.”

“…I didn’t know A-Yuan could be this oblivious.”

“That would make two of us.”

Luo Binghe laughs. Such a nice sound. “See? A-Yuan is funny, kind, mindful. I’m lucky to have him.”

Not anywhere near as much as Shen Yuan is. “See that you remember that tomorrow morning when you feel better and realise the consequences of your choices.”

Luo Binghe snorts. “Shen Yuan is the one that needs to remember what he promised. We’re going on vacation. And we’re going to talk. A lot.”

…Shit.

Well, he signed up for it. “I’ll call my travel agent.”

…He still thinks it’ll be a better trip than Shen Jiu’s.

[unk1ng]

td

answered / ic. starters. / ic. open. / ic. headcanons / ooc. meta / ooc. my edits / ooc. musings / what you call faith is nothing more than a child crying out for love. that’s why you’re all alone. ch. study / due to their wickedness god was unable to be born properly. and so she has slumbered ever since in the womb until the awakening… visage / there was a hole here. it's gone now. desires / i know about the pleasures of this world. and i want to find my happiness while i’m still here. aesthetic / remember your true self as well also that which you must become. the one who will lead us to paradise with blood stained hands! ship inspo / yet from thy lethal lips and thine alone love would i drink as dew from poison-bloom. wardrobe / i wear the flesh of a woman as fragile as gossamer silk. soon it will tear.

[01sentencereviews]

i can’t stop talking about taylor swift.

i woke up at 6AM on accident. i notice miss americana is only ~80 minutes long, so i decide to get it over with, not because i “hate” her (i never have, even when i “did”), but because i care about her in the way i care about all pop stars and i know these types of projects ultimately never deliver. i don’t want to “understand” pop stars and yet i keep trying nonetheless. every “raw” and “intimate” inside-look at a pop star is an inherently oxymoronic effort. pop stars aren’t open for our understanding, even if they pretend to be… even when they so desperately want to be.

taylor describes herself in this doc as a somewhat stunted, “frozen” woman who maintains the childish belief system that one must always, no matter what, be a “good girl.” these philosophies have always influenced her aesthetics and personas (none of which i’ve inherently gravitated towards)– the fairy tale loving cat-girl who won’t push any buttons but definitely won’t let any boy be mean to her either, especially the one that broke her heart… and she’s been nothing but a major success because of it! she’s easily one of the most defining and discussed artists of today. she both easy to root for and easy to rolls your eyes at-- the perfect combo for wordy think pieces like this one. 

pop stars, by definition, must always be “on,” and if you are as successful at being a pop star as taylor is (objectively one of the greatest of all-time), you always are, even if you say you’re not. ~living in the moment~ doesn’t exist for a pop star. your “moment” doesn’t exist when it’s being digested. it’s everyone’s “moment.” it’s a horror story, really. you become bigger than yourself, infinitely bigger than your music, which still haunts taylor to this day. it would haunt anyone… she’s not just the little girl writing songs in her diary anymore. she honestly never was, even when she “was.” when you’re already front row at the grammys when you’re still a teenager, how could you be? all pop stars needed to be pop stars, even when they didn’t know it yet. taylor already was a star before she became one. she says it herself: her joy has always derived from the approval of others. in order to be a star, you have to already be one. your happiness, your self-worth, literally depends on it.

but, it’s almost like taylor doesn’t fully understand this, or at least hasn’t been asked to question it by the filmmaker, which is weird since taylor is clearly hyper-aware of how she appears to the public. she’s very smart about how to write her own narrative, perhaps even maintaining the narratives she apparently wishes to be written out of. her niche– what keeps her relevant and what makes her such a star– is her storytelling. she knows this too. 

did no one ever tell taylor that no one likes the goody two-shoes, the teacher’s pet? she is that person, knowingly so. those types of people will always receive the most “hate” from their peers (mostly out of ease), and, yes, they will also continue to score the most praise, because “hate” from peers is never as essential (nor as profitable) as the praise from those in power: one’s teachers, their bosses, and the collective universe… the “fans.”

taylor remembers a period in her recent life where she retreats back into her private personal bubble for an entire year, giving the world a break from her even after her most successful era (1989). she felt this was what the world “wanted” from her: “nothing.”

…does she not realize that people don’t actually “hate” her (even if they “do”)? you can’t truly hate someone if you don’t know them. no one really “knows” these stars. people may pretend to– maybe even believe to, often by the artists’ own design– but they don’t, not the “true” them. (what even is a “true” you?) those admiring the stars want to feel loved by their idols so much more than any pop star “needs” to be loved by their fans. what differs, however, is that the pop star’s life actually depends on their supporters’ love. pop stars have made a life of that need. without it, it destroys them. it makes them believe they have to hide for an entire year. it makes them believe they are failing even when consistently achieving the opposite.

this documentary doesn’t delve “deep” at all inside taylor’s dark year other than a brief mention of it. this was probably (definitely, *allegedly*) at taylor’s own request, and i guess it makes sense in the end. the film doesn’t hardly explore her much-publicized friendships (just why does taylor feel like she has no one to call, even as pop music’s most “relatable” confidant?), nor does it detail her new struggles with trying to gain the rights to her own music…

but i guess taylor’s not really a reality star. she’s a pop star. i don’t want pop stars to overshare. taylor keeps her narrative simple, clean. all that lingering darkness is too messy for her. she doesn’t want to be messy. she’s not “messy” by nature. even after deciding she won’t allow others to silent her, she still allows herself to silence her. we all do. it makes life easier, or so we’ve been taught. we find new things to focus on. the past is in the past. i shouldn’t expect anything different– nor do i think it’s smart for taylor to do otherwise– but i thought storytelling was her niche? she’s the storyteller of pop music, but she’s still only really sharing the good parts of her story: her realizations, her (continued) triumph, her growth. and in the end, she still gets to fall in love.

...i wish more than anything i could fall in love as much as taylor swift does. and maybe that’s why she can so easily annoy me, and why i can’t stop paying attention to her. i can’t believe i’ve written this much about a documentary i don’t even think is very good, but taylor swift has that power over me. and i think she knows it too, all too well.

in the end, taylor does acknowledge that she’s worked hard to “grow up,” and that she still has a lot more work to do… we all do, really. and i think she will keep trying. that’s all anyone can ask for. i’ll give her a pat on the head for that one.

[candlecat624]

so, since I do not know much about your ocs (if they're on here, apologies if not) may I hear small bits of info about them?

Oh of course! I’m just gonna assume you mean the main 4 of Lucid Reality from the recent notifications I’ve gotten...? Well, let's start with the main boy(TM) of all the madness that is my book

Dream!

- Has no idea who tf he is

-Someone help this poor child

- Only people that he’s really close to is Rey and Star since he hasn’t found out about his connection to Dream and Terror yet

- Once he gets his armour and staff he becomes a self-centred prick tho

- Absolute bastard energy

- I would say ‘but only for a little bit’ but I would be lying

- When something goes wrong he’ll play the victim card and expect someone to turn the tables in his favour or he will do it himself with no remorse and nothing can stop him

- TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY GANGGGGG

- “Hey, that's a pretty nice sunflower-”

Star (before ~mysterious major plot point~)

- Loves spanners an unhealthy amount

- Pretty sure she has a collection tbh

- Made a golden spanner and made a choker out of it

- No, I’m not joking- I honestly wish I was

- Really wanted the prophecy of the chosen one (which is about her brother) to be about her so that she would have a reason to see her older sister again but knew that what she did to Dream, she probably would’ve done to her too

- Treats Dream like her son even tho she’s younger than him

- Gets along with all 3 of her siblings pretty well

- if you call her ‘sunflower’ or any other kind of flower as a nickname she will start crying and she won't give you an explanation on why she’ll just assume you already know and are being a prick or that you’re an absolutely clueless moron

- “Why don’t I do a few magic tricks for you? It might help calm you down.”

Star (after ~mysterious major plot point~)

- Remember how I said she got along with all her siblings pretty well? Scratch that

- She absolutely despises Dream and would rather spend the rest of her days as a demi-goddess with Moon, Terror and the royal court

- Gets along well with Air despite Fire not liking her that much and telling Air to stay away from her

- Almost immediately after getting drugged, she had changed her name to [REDACTED] and had Moon help her change her entire wardrobe 

- She can feel that Moon is growing stronger but she can’t place her finger on it...

- Is growing worried about her older siblings despite the countless reassurance from Terror that the two of them are fine

Moon (before ~other mysterious major plot point~)

- Feels guilty about the TBI (traumatic brain injury) she caused for Dream but is trying to put it behind her

- All of her efforts start crashing down once she hears that Dream got the Sun Staff and the prophecy is coming true

- She spends many weeks angrily planning after that

- “If he wants a war, we’ll GIVE him one!”

- Is trying to create enough minions alongside Terror to fill up the army but it’s proving difficult and has led her to become dizzy easily

- She basically gets low blood pressure-like symptoms from the lack of attention she’s giving herself and the number of nutrients she has to give up to give to each minion, leaving her malnourished and just- not in a good place health-wise

- What doesn’t help is that she’s wearing a corset, like, almost 24/7

- Don't look up to this disastrous cat woman kids- not a good role model

Moon (after ~other mysterious major plot point~)

- ok if you thought she was bad before, HA 

- the poor thing has tightened her corset by like- 5cm and is having trouble breathing and is passing out more often

- She changed her name and her appearance and thus, the moon also changed

- She is now a ~strawberry eclipse~ (you can see it this year, tomorrow night on June 5!!!) and is probably in the middle of a mental breakdown from power tbh

- Her aesthetic has gone from teal to pink/red and she couldn’t care less, she is still slaying my dude

- Wears her crown 24/7

- It almost seems like the damn thing is attached to her head or something- 

- Whenever she’s mad she drags her claws nails down/across the nearest surface, making the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard as she growls at whoever pissed her off

- “I’ve only had this crown for a few hours but if anything was to happen to it I would kill everyone in this room and then myself”

Terror (before~moon’s mysterious major plot point~)

- Serves as Moon’s right-hand man

- Just think of the Vocaloid song ‘Servant of Evil’ (especially the Will Stetson cover, it s l a p s)

- Is the pansexual, male equivalent of your two lesbian aunts who both work double shifts at their job at Christmas time and the weeks leading up to your birthday just to make sure that they can get you the best presents ever

- Will do literally anything for Moon even tho he’s the older sibling

- He just wants what’s best for his sister and won’t hesitate to do a single command she says, unlike a certain royal court-

- Is the Napolean Bonaparte of the gods- like this man will lead any army fearlessly until every soldier is dead without hesitation

- Remembers what happened all those years ago with Moon, himself and Dream and he can’t seem to forgive himself for all the pain Star must be going through looking after him

- He truly misses Star, just not Dream. Both brothers were pricks even when they were kids tbh

Terror (after ~moon’s mysterious major plot point~)

- Is hesitant to serve Moon but he knows that she means well

- He wants to look after both of his sisters but the guilt of ruling over such a big army, making sure Moon is mentally stable and healthy, making sure Star’s vitals are still ok after drugging her AND dealing with his own grief is really holding him back from his full potential

- Wishes he could have a glow up like Moon did but he’s busy with the above-stated points

- Eventually decides that enough is enough and is suddenly filled with the determination to do something about the menace that is his younger brother

- Helps Moon stay up and create war plans

- If rockstar energy, Redbull and monster were things in the 1800s he’d be drinking it, advertising it and just straight up shoving it down people’s throats

- “what the fuck is up kyle- no what did you say-”

I hope this is the kind of thing you were looking for!! Thank you for the question!!! <33

[famedexclusivearchive]

[ARTICLE] GOLD STAR MEDIA TO HOST GOLD STAR NATION CONCERTS

Gold Star Media will be hosting two company concerts at the end of August at Seoul Olympic Stadium. The company’s entire roster of artists will be in attendance to perform their hits and special stages have been teased as well. Tickets sold out shortly after going on sale a few months ago, and buzz for the event has only increased as hype as been built through social media. The schedule for this event is as follows:

August 30: Gold Star Nation at Seoul Olympic Stadium @ 6PM  - 10PM

August 31: Gold Star Nation at Seoul Olympic Stadium @ 6PM  - 10PM

September 1: “Wrap” Party at private residence @ 6PM - (roughly) 12AM.

ADMIN NOTES:

Like both of the company concert events we’ve had previously, this event is one that’s part concert event and part standard event. All artists under the other companies will be invited to all nights of the Gold Star Nations concerts for publicity and will be strongly encouraged by management to attend at least one night and show up backstage to get supportive shots of them for the concert DVD to show a strong presence as the oligarchical powers of the industry (and to slip some BC and Dimensions promo into another company’s show). Attendance is obviously required for Gold Star Media idols, but attendance to at least one night is also considered a schedule for BC and Dimensions idols in return for Gold Star idols’ presence at their own company concerts and they aren’t likely to be able to get out of going at least one night without extreme circumstances to avoid causing tension between companies for falling short on their end of the unspoken deal.

The pool party on September 1st is semi-official schedule acknowledged, but not organized, by the companies due to the host’s trustworthy reputation and acquaintanceship with all three CEOs. It is not and will not become public knowledge. It is considered a gift to the Gold Star idols for their hard work, but BC and Dimensions idols have been invited by the host as well in the spirit of a true A-List industry gathering and are expected to attend to keep good relations between their companies and the host (and her husband, who is a stockholder in several major industry staples). Managers will be willing to drive idols to the concert wrap party in order to avoid any driving incidents, but will not attend the party itself unless they’re given a reason to such as reports of behavior by an idol they need to monitor.

The Concerts:

Idols from all companies will be given backstage-access passes by their managers and may be backstage up until 45 minutes before the concert begins, save for idols performing as special guests for collab stages, who may be backstage (some may be permitted to sit in the audience for some time before and/or after their stage) during the show, but must be on their best behavior. Idols from BC and Dimensions may return backstage after the concert, but will be given private seats on the upper level at the back of the stadium during any concerts they attend to sit in during the show.

Gold Star idols must be at the venue by 11AM on both days for pre-show preparation and soundcheck. Idols from other companies may begin arriving at 3PM. They will be given a private entrance to the event so they are not mobbed by fans. There will be a photo op for the press each day of the concerts an hour and a half before starting time that all Gold Star artists are required to be present for.

The setlist for both concerts can be found here.

The "Wrap Party”:

While not a wrap party in the traditional sense of celebrating the wrap of a film or television shooting, the pool party on the day following the concerts has been organized as an equivalent to celebrate the successful conclusion of the Gold Star Nation concerts and the nearing end of summer. The party on September 1 will be hosted at a large private mansion residence outside of Seoul owned by former idol and popular variety star Park Namjoo and her husband. She’s known for her wide social circle, which includes all three CEOs and many executives from each company, and her love of hosting social events. Idols from the three companies may have met her in the past as well through industry events and variety appearances (though major connections with her should be avoided, please!).

The party is largely a free form and casual house party without a formal dress code or itinerary. There will be a vast supply of catered food and drinks (including a hired bartender) plus a meat grilling area, music, plenty of rooms for socializing, partying, and playing games like pool, foosball, or beer pong, and other party activities, in addition to full access to the mansion’s large outdoor pool. The party begins not long before sunset, so the outdoor pool and jacuzzi area will be  illuminated once night falls for those who wish to remain outside. Though there is no formal dress code, the event is specifically a pool party so attendees are expected to wear swimwear under casual summer wear or other casual summer wear without a swimsuit should they not plan to partake in the pool aspect of the party.

The general atmosphere will be much more free and relaxing than idols normally get, but keep in mind the party has been allowed by the companies, so it won’t be able to get too wild without being shut down. The location is secluded enough and has a strict enough guest list to keep away the eyes of the media.

Overall:

In game, this event takes place Friday, August 30, through Sunday, September 1, but threads and other posts for this event may be started from Monday, August 26 at 12AM EDT (the time this post goes up), to Sunday, September 15, 2019 at 11:59PM EDT. Threads may be continued past the end date, but must be started before then. Non-event related interactions set outside of this time period may be conducted during this time as well.

NOTE: All posts related to the event should be tagged #fmdgsr2019. Remember to use #fmdcall if you want to post a plot or starter call for the event, which I encourage everyone to do!

POINTS AVAILABLE:

As with all events, there are special points up for grabs.

INTERACTIONS: Having an event thread with a starter and at least three replies (starter ▻ partner reply  ▻ op reply  ▻ partner reply) by the end of the event is worth 2 points. This is valid for up to ten threads this time and the threads can take place during any part of the event.

INTERACTIONS: Having an event thread going with someone your muse has never had a thread with before is worth 1 additional point for each thread.

INTERACTIONS: Posting an open starter for the event is worth 2 points. This counts for up to one open thread starter (not a text/sms post) per character. 

INTERVIEW: Answering this short interview in-character is worth 2 points. Select clips from certain interviews will be included throughout the Gold Star Nation 10th Anniversary Concert DVD.

You can also earn the normal amount of points through writing self-paras, making aesthetics, etc. related to the event!

If anything in this post is unclear or you have any questions, please feel free to contact the admin. Please like this post to let me know you read it.

[questionablygourmet]

Rewatch meta: mirrors, connections, and intrusion in Aperitif & Amuse-Bouche

This is the first of what is intended to be a series of analytical posts based on what sticks out to me as I do a close rewatch of the show, roughly 1-3 episodes at a time.  This first one will mainly focus on the introduction of major motifs and thematic elements in the show; future posts may follow in that vein or just whatever else about the episodes gets me thinking.

-------

One of the aspects of the show that makes it such a vibrant experience, and lends vibrancy in turn to analysis and transformative works in fandom is its rich use of motif in how it communicates what is important and what is going on with the characters and in the narrative.  The first two episodes are set up: they present to us the main characters along with the essentials of who they are, and they’re the opening sally of (some of) major themes and motifs.

Mirrors 

Okay, the first thing I’m going to talk about here is not actually the aspect that got it included in this section, but I must: right before our very first look at Hannibal Lecter, we pan up his table and see fruit on a platter, mirrored in the polished surface of the wood. The fruit was the first thing that caught my eye, because of course it did, pomegranates being a pervasive motif in the fandom, and it’s an interesting layout: there are strong mythological associations for pomegranate (Hades & Persephone, etc) and figs (Dionysus, etc).  Strawberries, somewhat less so; they are often associated with love, fertility, and/or new life, but in a less obvious-in-modern-pop-culture fashion.

So.  An aesthetically beautiful array of fruit as a perfect symbolic introduction to the character of Hannibal!  ... and then its mirror image in the shine of the table.  Mirrors/the concept of mirroring will become a huge Thing specifically between Hannibal and Will over the course of the series.  We also get “the mirrors in your mind can reflect the best of yourself, rather than the worst of someone else,” which honestly is a line that fascinates me in context of how, in seasons 2-3, the idea of Will and Hannibal blurring together, being mirror images to each other/two sides to a coin gets played with and explored.

The irony here is that Hannibal really does want Will to be his authentic self - yet by the end of the series, whatever it may or may not have been Before (”Before you, and after you”), Will’s authentic self is in many ways a sort of mirror to Hannibal.  An answer to the question of Hannibal, as much as Hannibal is an answer to the question of Will.

Connection

So the really obvious place this comes out in a big way is with the killer du jour for episode 2 - Stammets’s whole schtick is that he’s obsessed with creating gardens of physical connections between people in the form of his creepy (and GROSS, honestly this is the grossest episode in the show for me) mushroom graves.  

But really, this is also ultimately one of the deepest-running themes of the show.  It’s central to our Murder Husbands, both of them profoundly isolated from the rest of humanity until they find each other.  It’s front-and-center with Franklyn and Tobias, both wanting to reach out to Hannibal (and Franklyn also to Tobias), and him having none of it.  And it’s necessarily fundamental to all the other interpersonal relationships, in the explicit variation of how mutual a given connection between characters is (and often, the contrast in how each of them perceives that connection - “Could I ever have understood you?” “No.”).  

And it’s more subtly emphasized in these two episodes as we’re being introduced to and developing an understanding of how Will works as an investigator.  

“You make jumps you can’t explain.”  “The *evidence* explains.”  

“Associations come quickly.” 

I roll my eyes every single time Hannibal says “pure empathy” in the show because while, yes, Will has plenty of empathy, as he protests to Jack in the very first scene, the point is he has an active imagination, and applies it to the evidence.  Will is so good at what he does because he makes connections between general knowledge he has and details of the crime scenes that seem strange or even nonsensical to others.  Antler velvet in the wounds?  Well, what do I know about antler velvet?  And then that knowledge he has about it promoting healing probably later supports his assertion that the killer experiences some form of love for his victims.

(It didn’t seem to fit in well in the earlier section, but the mirror motif also comes into play with the Shrike case in that the first Copycat murder is a distorted reflection of what the Shrike does, for the purposes of making the essential elements of the Shrike murders stand out more starkly to Will.)

In the Stammets case, his mental reconstruction at the crime scene itself is literally just a review of what they’ve already been able to conclude from the physical evidence, plus the inference that it’s not important to the killer that his victims be aware that they were dying, which is a fairly obvious one to make given the lack of restraints.  Then, when they’re discussing it in the lab and cause of death has been determined, he’s able to do more with the information - he’s able to determine the how of the victims’ docile interment and from then it’s a quick series of fairly obvious jumps to who the killer must be.

Finally, the debut of the Ravenstag is the result of the sudden, vivid connection Will’s mind has made from the imagery of the Copycat scene - crows and a stag’s head, a murder and a message.  The Ravenstag will go on to embody the spectre of death, an omen, but also in some ways a guardian.

Intrusion

Hoo boy is this show ever about that, and these episodes certainly do get off to a running start on this theme.

First of all, just about everyone and everything intruding on Will.  There’s Jack in his classroom, there’s Hannibal in Jack’s office and then Will’s motel room, there’s Beverly in Elise Nichols’s room and then again (slightly less unwelcome) at the range, there’s Freddie Being Freddie, and then there’s his hallucinations. 

We explicitly discuss the intrusive nature in which Will experiences his work: 

“Fear is the price of imagination.”

“No forts in the bone arena of your skull for the things you love.”

And then we start to see the basis for Will’s trust in Hannibal start to form has Hannibal backs off in episode 2.  He lets Will roam about the mezzanine of his office (literally circling Hannibal, and part of me wanted to talk about lions because of that and the line with Franklyn, but that felt like stretching a bit too much) while he stays below, gives answers to the questions Will lobs back at him, becomes someone who will push just enough to show concern and interest, but will gracefully retreat into safer waters at the right moment rather than press for ever more.

It’s beautiful and infuriating to me that this is both the truth and the smokescreen for actions that make it also a farce - Will and Hannibal’s relationship is characterized both by a strong, genuine interpersonal courtesy and a staggering degree of intrusion (mostly by Hannibal, though Will has his moments), and these things can and do frequently exist fully side by side.  

The other notable single target of intrusion in these episodes is, of course, Hannibal.

Something I didn’t really consciously grok on my first couple of watchings of Jack and Hannibal’s first scene together is that while Jack is trying to flatter Hannibal rather than intimidate/command (as he was doing with Will), Jack is still being very nearly as pushy and invasive as he was in his first scene with Will: shows up unannounced, assumes Hannibal will make time for him without stating his purpose in being there (I love how visibly taken-aback he is when Hannibal tells him to wait in the damn waiting room), then wanders around Hannibal’s office and messes with his drawings while casually talking about Hannibal’s personal history before he ever gets around to The Point.  Yes, Hannibal’s eventually pleased as punch with the results of that visit, but Jack’s behavior is what it is. 

Then there’s Freddie (oh, Freddie), who will continue to be a wildly intrusive presence in his life over the next few years in various ways.  And then there’s Will, himself, pushing back when Hannibal asks questions in their office sessions - and who will ultimately be The One True Intrusion, the destabilizing element that will cause Hannibal to tear his life as he knows it to the ground.  

There are other ways this theme can be discussed in the context of these two episodes, but I’ve hit the main points I meant to and this has gotten lengthy enough already!

(Below the cut, for your potential amusement, a smattering of my notes from rewatching that didn’t necessarily make it into this.)

JACK DON'T TOUCH PEOPLE'S GLASSES

I will never get over the irony of "You have to convince yourself that the lion is not in the room.  When it is I assure you, you will know."

pURe EMpatHY

ahh yes, the Teleporting Cannibal Episode

"I'd rather not take it from you" - have to wonder how much Freddie remembered that statement later, as she was starting to wonder if Hannibal might be killing with Will

And here's our first mention of God enjoying killing.

[rpgmgames]

March’s Featured Game: Abigail Fortune and the Dreams of Azure

DEVELOPER(S): Fusoloid ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: Adventure, RPG SUMMARY: Abigail Fortune's adventures continue in Paris! As she obtains information about a mysterious treasure called "Azure Dreams", the gentlewoman thief is joined by her old friend, Marguerite "Maria" Montblanc. Together the ladies must discover the true identity of the treasure, find out the truth behind the treasure's owner, and avoid falling permanently into the most wonderful dream...

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! I am Heidi K., also known as Fusoloid. I'm a Finnish university student, and I've been in the RPG Maker community since the early 2010's. I got much more active in following the community after I started developing my own games, however. I love art, studying cultures, and all in all, I'm here to be creative and have a good time!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Fusoloid: The Abigail Fortune series is, essentially, about the eponymous gentlewoman thief and her many adventures. I was inspired to make a story about a thief after binge-watching the first Lupin III anime series in late 2014, and after playing the demo of an RPGM game called Pumpkin Panic! around the same time, I decided to make it a game series on RPG Maker.

How long did you work on your project? *Fusoloid: I've been working on the AF series as a whole since late 2014. Proper work on Dreams of Azure started in 2017, after the release of the first game in the series, The Scarlet Fairy. Of course, even before that, I had outlined the major plot points and many of the characters, and even made some character sketches, though most of my efforts were focused on The Scarlet Fairy until it was released.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Fusoloid: Lupin III is the obvious biggest inspiration behind the series; major characters like Abigail, Marguerite and the Interpol duo of Cynthia and Neil were inspired by the major characters of Lupin III. Games like Persona 5, the Sly Cooper series and even the Uncharted series have inspired me in one way or another. Of course, I've been inspired by other pixel RPGs too, like The Witch's House, Dreaming Mary, Virgo VS the Zodiac and the LiEat series.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Fusoloid: One thing I've had challenges with Dreams of Azure is the more complex battle system I want to implement. Sometimes effects or features I wanted to include in the battle system weren't possible to implement, either due to the restrictions of the engine/plugin, or the complexity of the coding needed for it. Currently I've changed things so that these effects work differently than what I initially intended, but in a similar fashion.

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Fusoloid: The story has probably changed the most out of all other aspects! The initial story was set in France like the current one, but the characters and story progression were completely different. Some time during 2016, I realized that the story wouldn't work as an RPG-style game too well, so I rewrote it to what it is now. Of course, that original story idea isn't completely abandoned yet...

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Fusoloid: I've worked on the series mostly by myself, but I've had some help from a certain friend of mine. She did the playtesting for The Scarlet Fairy, and also proofread and illustrated The Scarlet Emperor spinoff novella for me. I don't have any regrets about working (mostly) alone on the series, but I sometimes think I should learn a bit more about how Javascript works... a bit.

What was the best part of developing the game? *Fusoloid: Writing the story and making the art! I love writing dialogue and just writing down ideas for interactions that could be either funny or entertaining to the player or myself. Making the various character portraits is something I enjoy most about making the game's art, and I love conveying the different characters' personalities with their expressions and reactions.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Fusoloid: I often play other RPGM games to become inspired or to find new ideas, often times for puzzles and aesthetic stuff. For example, I would play Pocket Mirror or Dreaming Mary to get ideas for the aesthetic of Dreams of Azure's main location, and then play games like Ib or The Witch's House for puzzle ideas. Of course, I don't want to directly rip off anything, and I like doing my own thing and putting in my own twists as well.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Fusoloid: While I do like all of my character in one way or another, my favorite overall character will probably always be Abigail. She's extremely fun to write, and it's interesting to write a character who disguises her true self under a multitude of different personas. However, at the same time, there's the same person at the core of every disguise, and I want to develop that core character with every new entry in the series. And also, I just love charming rogues with a heart of gold... ♥

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Fusoloid: There isn't anything I regret with The Dreams of Azure, but regarding my game development journey in general, I wish I had started with something small instead of jumping straight into a bigger project. The Scarlet Fairy feels really unpolished in retrospect, and had I known more about the engine beforehand, I think I could've probably created much more creative ways of progression, as well as more interesting puzzles.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Fusoloid: Of course! The Abigail Fortune series will certainly continue after Dreams of Azure, and I already have a multitude of ideas on how the series will continue. AF3 will definitely come one day, but there will be a bunch more stuff coming out before that.

With your current project, what do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Fusoloid: The reaction from the fans! I love seeing how people talk about my stuff and what they liked and enjoyed about it. There's also just the incredibly satisfying feeling of being able to complete something and releasing it into the wild.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Fusoloid: The reaction from the fans, surprisingly. While I love seeing people enjoy my stuff, I'm also extremely terrified of releasing any big project due to my fear of being judged or unjustly critiqued. If it's something big and something I spent a lot of time on, having it be called bad or terrible would be the worst thing I could think of. I think this fear stems from years of bad experiences in my youth... I've done my best to work on this, of course, but I still notice myself getting very nervous.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Fusoloid: If you're thinking about getting into game developing, start from small projects. These projects don't have to be any longer than 5 minutes, as long as you finish them and learn new things about the engine you're using. Secondly, when you start your first bigger project, WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN. From puzzles to dialogue to how the story advances, write everything down on a document of some kind so you can easily go through the progression of the plot without suffering and having to come up with things on the fly as you're making the game. And thirdly, BACK UP YOUR PROJECT FILES! Save 'em on an external hard drive, send 'em to an online cloud, send 'em to a friend; anything goes as long as your hard work will be preserved in case of disaster!!

Question from last month's featured dev @doc-saturn: What's something you learned while making this game? Is there anything you're trying to learn how to do right now? *Fusoloid: Parallax mapping! I decided to try out parallax mapping for the first time for The Dreams of Azure, and it's a lot of fun! The maps look a lot better than in The Scarlet Fairy, and it's fun to think of set pieces and decorations for the maps. However, making changes into the maps after having completed them can be a bit of a hassle...

We mods would like to thank Fusoloid for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Abigail Fortune and the Dreams of Azureif you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[fullymechanized-consoomer]

40K factions and you

Space Marines:

Your favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla, but occasionally you might try some Neapolitan, if you’re feeling dangerous. You’re faction’s lore is designed from the ground up to accept your self-inserts, and the models are some of the easiest to paint in the entire range. None of this matters because no matter how unique you think your super-cool “realistic marines who use real tactics maaaaan” are they’ll always come out looking like a slight variation of the ones below

8th edition has finally allowed you to feel a tiny sliver of the unbalanced and over-costed hell other factions have been stuck in for years, but unlike them, daddy GW is more than willing to spend a little extra on his bulky good bois so they still get all the coolest gear and lore. Like vanilla, small children love them, but they grow out of both eventually. 

edit: it was only a matter of time before GW stamped its foot down and made the inevitable decision that its favorite kid needs to be busted again. Then again in all fairness they toned down their overpoweredness from “godlike” to merely “demi-godlike” 

Imperial Guard:

You’re a big “history fan”. You’ve seen Enemy at the Gates, watched some history channel shows about Nazi wonder weapons, and make 54 karma post on r/history_memes recycling debunked Eastern Front jokes. Only your intelligent eye is able to conflate this factions obvious Metal Slug levels of cartoonish design and tactics with realism, and you make sure to remind everyone else of said realism by comparing your tabletop exploits to your military experience in the reserves. Everyone used to like you back when the faction was actually made up of underdogs and under appreciated, but the Guant’s Ghosts references have gotten kinda stale, and no one appreciates the brass balls of these Starship Trooper knockoffs now that 8th edition supports and rewards the very same mindless horde tactics the Guard used to be mocked for in Lore. Despite having some of the most tried and true designs in the game, as well as an incredible amount of options, you will quickly find how limiting the only “realistic” army is in terms of customization and paint schemes, as anything but camo, grey, or tan looks goofy and reveals how silly this faction actually is. 

edit: If your army consists of wrapping 30 guardsmen around basilisks I recommend you take a short fall down a long flight of stairs. Fuck you, Evan.

Eldar:

You’re a real shooter. You know what you like and you stick with it, cause lets face it, it takes a lot of loyalty to stick with these arrogant pricks. Their designs are unique but dated, their lore is a uneven mishmash of 40k grimdark schmultz Tolkien telephone, and Oliver Twist-esque whipping bois for whenever GW writers need to remind us how cool Space Marines are. But none of that matters because you know the truth: Eldar can kick tons of ass on the board, and look good doing it, as their unique designs lends them to all sorts of brilliant color combinations

And unlike other armies their rare design updates improve on their aesthetic while keeping their 40k-ness, something that is becoming increasingly rare in this era of Tacticool marines and Fantasy-creep. Just don’t expect to be taken seriously by anyone but the old-heads.

Edit: Leave it to the whipping bois to be outshined in their own event and get a single model update. Thanks GW, very cool. 

Dark Eldar

You are one of two people: a meta hopping smooth brain who only jumped ship once these guys got one of the best updates in 40k history, or a true intellectual who understood their hidden merit all along. Other faction players like to make fun of you for being edgy, when in reality you know that the Dark Eldar are just a bunch of sociopathic theater kids. They, like you, know how fucked from top to bottom this universe is, and instead of getting depressed they exclaimed “how can we be the best cartoon villains we can be?”. Despite having a relatively bare army list, the fact that these d-bags come in 3 flavors of crazy in a single army offers a ton of variety: the mustache twirling villainy of the Kabals, the crazy bloodstained snuff-stars of the Wych cults, and the BDSM horror show of the Covens. All three offer substantial benefits and drawbacks and must be played carefully in order t- 

Who am I kidding? You’re just gonna stuff  a bunch of Kabal warriors into Venoms and zoom around the map, aren’t you? Enjoy that speed, because your abysmal save stats wont protect you anything more than a furiously thrown walnut. At least your corpses will look rad clad in some of the grimest armor and gear in the game. 

edit: no longer anywhere near as dominent as they were in the earlier years of 8th, but they still look slick as hell and play great. 

Orks

Your IQ randomly jumps from 20 to 200 throughout the day. There is no predicting this, no planning around this, no stopping this. You’re best bet is just to go along with it, and that’s why you play Orks. Orks are roudy good-time buddies who love slapstick slaughter, not having thoughts, and occasionally pulling of cunning plans that human savants would struggle to comprehend. Orks seem to be the only faction that know what joy is, which is why you as a player spread it to everyone else. Yes, the memes and screaming can be a bit much to others sometimes, but like with any other mentally handicapped child  everyone around just grits their teeth through your bad episodes if it means not upsetting your unique sensibilities. And considering that this army’s aesthetic revolves around cobbled together nonsense, you have a lot of uniqueness to give. Orks are easily the most creative faction in the game when it comes to conversions. Nothing is too goofy, too dumb, or too silly to scrap together. As for performance on the tabletop? Go ham. This is an army that rewards merry bullshit and randomness. Remember, you didn’t pick Orks to win, you picked them to have fun. 

edit: So are Orks actually getting anything or what? GW’s plans for this faction is as chaotic as the minds of the ADHD scrambled minds who play them

Necrons

You have a very specific taste in... funky weird-science space Egyptians. Seriously, these guys are practically a completely different army to what they were a decade ago. Gone are the terminator references and eldritch lore nonsense, and here to stay is senility and glyphs. You lie to yourself, saying that you’re not really sure why you chose Necrons, but I know the truth: you chose them because they used to be busted. They used to be unfair. They used to be able to take out top-tier tanks with their version of pea shooters and come back after every turn. So overwhelmed were you by their dazzeling stats and bullshit cheese your brain’s wiring fried and the erratic firing of billions of flayed neurons made you think Necrons had cool lore and interesting models. But now they’ve been nerfed to hell, and you’re no longer stuck in that lasting state of sensory overload. Like a drunk snapping awake with a hangover you come to the painful reality: Necrons are kind of dull. So like me, you put them away in a shoebox forever, leaving their fragile sculpts to slowly fall apart.

Edit: FUCK WHERE IS THE SHOEBOX WHERE DID I LEAVE IT OH GOD OH OH NO OH FUCK THEY’RE ALL BROKEN MAYBE I CAN PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER BEFORE 9th EDITION LAUNCHES I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT I DID TO YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER I NEED YOU, I NEED MY BOOOOOOOOYS!!!

Tau

You will forever be hated by the community unfairly. You are accuse being anime - and this is true - yet the Eldar get away with being copied wholesale from 80′s space anime and no one seems to notice. You are made fun of for your bad melee, despite having one of the most comprehensively designed niches in an otherwise sloppy game and dominating with nearly every edition. You are made fun of for your lore, despite being largely separate from the cliches and story traps that everyone else has fallen into. You are hated because you are different; hated because you are Asian. 

Tau are an anomaly in 40k: a completely new faction that wasn’t directly ripped off of some other franchise and with an aesthetic that is wholly their own. I won’t be making fun of them because they get enough of that, and you don’t deserve it. Just know this dirty secret: Tau outsell almost every other xenos faction, and despite the supposedly unanimous hate are probably one of the strongest factions in terms of play-style and modelling in the franchise. 

Edit: The tau are grittier than ever, happy now? They still do the same thing they have always done anyways.

Chaos

Unlike the DE you actually are edgy. You worship satan, you throw rocks at homeless people, you start fires because your dad doesn’t spank you enough. Chaos are the closest things that this cluster fuck of a universe can get to being the main villains. Their lore is at once intricate and stupid, both childish and metal as hell. You play chaos because getting your fingers pricked by the models’ spikes is the closest you can come to feeling anything anymore. Just like the chaos lore you love to hype yourself up, to puff your chest and revel in the darkness inside, but when confronted you tend to fold like wet tissue paper. You’ve stopped playing public games with these guys, because the other players don’t understand you and abuse the meta and make fun of your painting skills and  everything is so unfair and don’t you think that chaos marines should get buffs for their points cost, fuck?

Edit: The new models are slick and more power-metal minivan than ever, though the rules are still abysmal despite GW desperately wanting everyone to takes these guys seriously for once. 

Sisters of Battle

GW writers and designers hates Catholics and they hate women, so naturally they hate Sister of Battl. They also hate you for playing them. Because of this SoB are a monument to neglected potential. They have one of the best female armor designs in fiction, great lore, and an interesting playstyle that relies on faith/determination based feats of strength and valor... but GW hate Catholics and women, so SoB get shafted everywhere all the time. More often than not you will be disappointed reading about their exploits as they continually get unfairly slaughtered, corrupted into the horny service of the pervert god, or used as receptacles for blood-based paint when the writer’s favorite faction needs to fight demons. With no plastic models in sight for over a decade everyone began to come to the slow and dreadful realization that GW was looking to Squat our favorite estrogen warriors, until a new revamp was announced. Unfortunately the beta rules look as lackluster as ever, but that’s fine, because as a SoB fan you have learned to expect that GW hates you, Catholics, and women. 

Edit: GW found God and got woke because now they love women and Jesus’ one true Church, but let it be known that reformation doesn’t occur overnight, as the SOB’s faces still betray GW’s lingering discomfort in the female form:

Their rules are fun, and if every codex was designed like it 40k might actually be a fun game

Tyranids

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom no- and that’s it that’s the Tyranids. I don’t know anything about them besides that, and neither do you, cause that’s their lore. Yes they have cool models, but next to no reliable updates. I’ll pray for you.  

Edit: it really looks like GW has just completely forgotten about you poor souls huh? The Night King, a character who is closely associated with the totally-not-reconned-Tyranid-invasion, comes back and not one word about you guys. They don’t even actively hate you like, say, they hate the Eldar. It’s just... apathy. 

Grey Knights

HAHA AHAHAHAHA HA HA UHAHAHA HAHAAHAHAAHAH HAHA ha ha Ah......... he. hehahaaaAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

edit: I hope you all realize that Grey Knights are far too specialized in fighting the permanently under performing forces of chaos to be 40ks “elite among elite.”  You and your entire faction has been made completely obsolescent by the Custodes. The rough times will continue, say hi to the Squats in heaven will you?

Custodes

You are either insufferably full of yourself or a fine practitioner of the model making craft. Most likely though you are neither, and you picked them because you only need gold and red paint to make them look good. Custodes are the space marine’s space marines, and they’re better than you and everyone else. period. At least in lore. On the table their incredible individual stats and elite status are reflected in points cost, so for most large games you will be fielding what amounts to any other faction’s skirmishing army. Unfortunately, since 40k is a stat-sheet battler that favors raw bulk of rolls and stats over the quality of them, you’d be hard-pressed to do well in any serious game. However, for the luminous of mind, the small size is a blessing in disguise since you don’t need to buy and paint as many units as the other armies, and no matter how hard the guard player trashes you his 50 unpainted manlets will never look as good as your 15 gloriously crafted golden Chads. Stick to smaller games, and the individual strength of each model will make up for the glaring absence caused by their loss.

Ironically enough despite being an elite faction from a relatively obscure part of 40k lore, these attributes make Custodes the perfect casual player’s faction. It is my personal theory that if GW didn’t grossly inflate their prices to such a high degree everyone would have a Custodes army. 

Oh yeah, Henry Cavil plays these guys, because of course he does. 

[respecthbcus]

Fatherhood By: Jaylen Amir Brown, Respect HBCUs Student Ambassador (Winston Salem State University)

What makes a man a man? Money, provision, integrity? Is it the ability to reproduce? Is it their sexual preference?          

What is fatherhood? Is it continuing one’s bloodline? Enforcing discipline? Is it phone conversations, talks over dinner, weekend/holiday visits, or appearances during big game days?

As my twenty short years of life continue, the definition of fatherhood and manhood is one which is intriguing to me. I’ve spoke with several fathers around the world, receiving many different answers. I've come to the realization that it's not like a "cup". There is no concrete definition which every man lives by to know what is and isn't a cup. It's more so like recipes to food which are often changed here and based off personal likes and dislikes. These changes can be great and others can be rather distasteful. These changes are critical due to how powerful the influence a father can have on his child(ren).

I think we all can relate to the lack of male presence in the classroom. At least we are aware of this. Don’t forget to add Black and/or African American to the equation. Personally, I can count on one hand the number of those that fit into this category. Actually, two fingers. The opportunity of those in classrooms to give everyday guidance for a minimum of five days and seven hours a day can be worthwhile. Not to mention when the father or a positive male is missing. I found that number to increase as I transitioned to college. More surprisingly to me this was evident on campuses other than Winston-Salem State University. It was one of those things which I was aware of but first hand seeing the professor, faculty, and staff members who actually looked like me daily provided that reassurance. Although this number did increase significantly, nationally there is still only a small percentage present.

Growing up I was unaware how common it was in my area for children to not communicate with their father. Let alone know who he was. This was especially something many of my classmates had in common. For whatever reason it may have been, as I reflect back I realize the impact this caused and how problematic this is in the black community. It was an actual privilege for me to know my mother and father and an even bigger one to watch their love strengthen as I continue to spend more time living. My father taught me many things that my mother could not. His caring father perspective allowed for me to be immersed in understanding. I remember many times where I have been abled to witness my father serve as one of the positive male figure in the lives of others. He has been a true “step-father” to many while only being married once for twenty years (which continues to flourish shout out to my parents for twenty years this past Thursday June 13th).  

So, what makes a man a true exemplifier of fatherhood? The question can be left for you to define at your own discretion. However, one can conclude for one to be a fatherhood he must put his child first, always be there in times of need, be a provider, and handle his business. So, to my fathers out there, those with kids and those without, thank you.

I had a chance to interview a few HBCU fathers. Scroll below to check out some of their awesome advice, insight, memories, stories, and thoughts on fatherhood. Check them out below!

Mr. Jimmie Lewis III, is a recent 2019 Prairie View A&M University Biology graduate from Katy, Texas. He is the father of two-year old twins, Mason & Marshall Lewis and is on the journey to become a Physician.

Q: What has been your greatest moment as a father?

A: I love that fatherhood has brought me back to all those simple pleasures I had long forgotten as a kid. I can now hold my own while watching hundreds of Disney movies and sing the words to hundreds of toddler tunes. I'm also proud to say the joys of playing hide-and-seek and follow the leader have finally returned to me as a 22 year old young man. However, as a new father I am most proud of watching my sons grow and learn. Being born prematurely early two years ago at the Longview Regional Hospital to now being very curious and knowledge during the terrible two year. I love being a witness to all their new lessons and discoveries.

Q: How did fatherhood impact you as a full-time or part-time college student?

A: If I were Picasso and had to paint a mural that would be representative of who I was, who I am, and who I will become it would be a harmony of colors. This painting would be a prolongation depicting yesterday, today, and tomorrow. The imagery behind my mural shows a story which is exclusively mine as I travel down the road of life. First impressions take less than thirty seconds. However, there was a time in my life when most people made their assumptions about me in less than ten seconds. Many strangers would declare both disappointment and lack of expectation, followed by condolences instead of congratulations. This was the reaction I received from a lot of individuals at first, therefore, I hid the fact for over two years that I had two twin sons while raising them to be exceptional young kings. I was a twenty-year-old father, a sophomore in college, a new father of twin sons, a stereotype to society.

A painter usually starts with the color blue. Blue represents the color of hope and dreams that I have fostered. However, all of a sudden, I felt as if the mortal error had been committed and everything that preceded it was embarrassing. Being young and naive, I use to care about others opinions, therefore I wouldn’t tell my peers or associates that I had sons. Growing as a better man and better father, my focus changed that allowed me to see my purpose as a young father.

Being an undergraduate scholar at Prairie View A&M University presented me with new challenges as a young parent during the beginning of my junior year of college.  I wasn’t used to taking care of kids since most of my siblings and cousins are around my age. My life as a new father was marred by many obstacles that tested my strength and willingness to endure the uncertainty of what was to come. I did not think I fully grasped what it would be like, what it would mean, to be a new father for a greater part of my academic and social life. I had to study more during the week when I knew I would get my sons on the weekends and had to miss plenty of social gatherings due to my new responsibilities. In order to provide for my sons, I relied on my campus job, and financial support from my parents.

The color purple which represents self-awareness and realization on my mural also has an influence on my personal growth. It was imperative that I abandon all previous habits of yesterday because they cannot be incorporated into my sons’ futures and my goals as a young father and man as well.  Tomorrow is colored gold for promise. Tomorrow is full of promises and opportunities.  My aesthetic painting will never be finished in spite of the strong decisions of colors. I am carrying the torch that was passed to me; just like I walk in other’s footsteps, therefore my twin sons can have the possibility to pass the burning torch. This calling is who I am and what I aspire to be.

Q: I personally remember times when parents would have to bring their child with them to class and even ask their classmates to watch their child during class times. Has there ever been a time where you had to depend on your HBCU family to assist with your parenting?

A: I didn’t depend on my HBCU family a lot. I would say my immediate family on her side and my side has had the greatest influence on the boys. Without my parent’s wisdom and assistance, I wouldn’t be able to raise my sons by myself. I also applaud the mother for being an incredible mother to my sons. Her journey over the past 2 years hasn't been easy, yet she found the courage and resilience to keep moving forward. Many would have quit after transferring schools, becoming a new mommy of twins and working 3 jobs all at once. Yet, she stayed the course. And as much as I would like to take a lot of credit for my part in my sons lives, she has played the greatest role in my son’s lives since they are with her majority of the time.

Q: When it's finally time for Mason and Marshall to visit colleges and apply, how likely will you encourage them to attend an HBCU?

A: I will definitely persuade my children to attend the best HBCU in the land, Prairie View A&M University. Hopefully, they become future members of the Eta Gamma Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc as well. HBCUs have a historic sense of community and family that makes the students feel more at home, therefore I want my sons to be comfortable and experience college just how I did.

Please share any advice you would give to soon to be fathers.

For future fathers, always be there for your children even during the worst circumstances. Fathers are apart of the critical point in the lives of our young African-American children. We must individually assess how we're raising them and figure out what we can do to keep our families intact (or at least how-to co-parent effectively). Also, always give your children a hug and tell them you love them everyday.

Mr. Oscar Ball III MS, OTR/L is from Goldsboro NC and the father of a beautiful daughter, Jayla.  Oscar is a two-time graduate from Winston-Salem’s own Winston-Salem State University. In 2009, he received his B.S. in Exercise Science and in 2012 he continued on obtaining his Masters in Occupational Therapy.

Q: What has been your greatest moment as a father?

A: I don’t think I could take one single moment and define it as my greatest moment as a father. So many come to mind and I know there’s plenty more to come. I would have to say it just has to be the overall experience. My daughter gives me a reason to live and grind each and every day. Her smile lets me know everything is going to be ok. And just watching her shows me that if nothing else I know I’ve done one thing right.

Q: How did fatherhood impact you as a full-time or part-time college student?

A: I had my daughter right before I started a strenuous Master’s program at WSSU. It made me more focused and taught me the importance of balance. It made me stronger as a student because I knew I had to be for her even when I wanted to be weak. It gave me the grind to make it through and hustle to support her while in school.

Q: I personally remember times when parents would have to bring their child with them to class and even ask their classmates to watch their child during class times. Has there ever been a time where you had to depend on your HBCU family to assist with your parenting?

A: I can’t really say I needed others help to support her. When I was in grad school her mom and I did a good job of co-parenting.

Q: Do you believe there was ever an instructor or faculty/staff member who assisted with you experience as a father? This can be from advice to make adjustments for you due to father duties.

A: If anything, the advice I received from Dr. Anne Jenkins about life and the importance of making an impact for myself and my family was the biggest motivation I received as a student that had an impact on me as a student.

Q: When it's finally time for your child to visit colleges and apply, how likely will you encourage Jayla to attend an HBCU?

A: I will strongly advise my daughter to attend an HBCU but will ultimately support whatever decision she chooses. I’m a firm believer that how I live and the way I share my experiences with her even now will mold and influence a lot of the decisions she will make going into adulthood including her choice of college. As of now, she’s already planning to attend WSSU as an education major.