#adora's ptsd

[catrasbewbwindow]

A word on imperfect queer representation in media. Real queer people aren’t perfect. We have trauma, we can be toxic, we can be war criminals, we can be any number of good or bad things. Because because because queer people are people.

When I see people complain “x ship is toxic” or “y acted inappropriately,” yeah. Maybe they did. I’m sure as hell not perfect. I’m in a very healthy relationship with my wife, but we both grew up in less than perfect family situations and have worked our asses off to be better people. We have both worked to rid ourselves of toxic traits and behaviors that we brought into our relationship in the beginning.

I have severe ptsd because I survived things that no one should have to go through. Just like Adora. Just like Catra. And seeing that there is hope for someone like me. That someone could still love me despite my flaws, despite my history. That is good representation. Queer people need to know that we don’t have to reach some imaginary level of perfection to be loved or valued. Not only that, it’s given my wife and I new ways to talk about our trauma. “Well, we did grow up in the Horde” is a regular occurrence in our trauma discussions now.

Let queer people be like everyone else and be imperfect, that’s all I’m saying.

[swearyshera]

[dare0451]

i desperately need rebecca sugar, nd stevenson, and toby fox to team up on a project made Explicitly For Adults. theyre all visionaries of horrifyingly toxic queer relationships being held back by their art being aimed at kids. somebody let those bitches off the leash!!!

[chronicsyd]

I want to talk about Cartoon Therapy and Mental Issues!

a lot of people don’t talk about this and I’d really like to go into a rant of how both Adora and Catra suffer from BPD, Bipolar Disorder, and other mental issues. 

(Also Adora is Autistic with ADHD, very much so) Like I could go on about this for fucking hours if I wanted to cause their symptoms are very clearly There and no-one talks about it! 

(Actually I could probably go into a list about certain cartoon characters and their mental health problems like how Luz Obviously suffers from PTSD and things like that) someone get me to shut up please before my brain explodes itself from thinking about this! 

[muppetebbtide]

discworld dashboard simulator

❓ ankhmorporkpolls

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

This is like that tsortian guy who had to pick between goddesses and started a war and then died. Or like paying the assassin's guild to kill you

🔪 treefroghousealumni follow

*inhume

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

piss off you posh knob

🍴 priestessofanoia

tbf I don't think the watch is wasting its time on this blue hellsite so ur probably safe there. the POSTMASTER however...

#sometimes I think only bloody stupid johnson could have come up with this fucking site

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🪻watchofficial follow

ALL'S WELL!

🍴 priestessofanoia

nvm lmao 😭

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☕ klatchmeifyoucan follow

.

#ppl on here are actually sooooo ankh morpork centric it's insane #'EVERYONE knows webblethorpe the unconscious' who??? why the fuck should I??? #like HELLO there's other places on the disc? #and klatch is NICER like omg

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unseenuniconfessions reblogged:

🦧 unseenuniversitylibrary

Ook

#SO TRUE KING

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Anonymous asked:

Is lord vetinari gay

🪄ramtopswitches answered:

Why would you ask us, a ramtops witches blog, this

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🔮 uucompetitiveeatingchamp follow

CALLOUT: @ /spanglersal (deactivated)

• started a Kickstarter to crowdfund a click of Captain Vimes & Errol then disappeared with the money and has gone completely ghost on everyone

• apparently stole over 100k

• cringe

Read More

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Anonymous asked:

Blessings be upon this askbox

🌷queen-of-lancre answered:

I don't know if this is nanny pretending to be granny, or if it's actually granny, and I think I'm too scared to find out

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cmot-dibbler-enterprises sponsored

SAUSAGES INNA BUN ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌭🌭🌭🌭

🏚️ throwingshades

Gonna go skating on the frozen river ankh!!

💀 nojusticejustus

HAVE FUN

🏚️ throwingshades

Thanks man!

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🐸 bursaaaaaaaaar

is. is the post office posting crab rave bc reacher gilt just turned up dead

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🧳 agateantravels follow

The Crumley's Hogswatch grotto is being advertised again but somehow I just don't think they can top last year's... like idk where they got the budget from but the real pigs?? CRAZY. my little sister asked for a pony and there was just one in the house when we got back like?? My mum was PISSED but yes talk abt Hogswatch magic. Still wonder how they pulled it off

345 notes

💖 angelofmusic

It's literally SO unfunny to be making jokes about the Opera Ghost when you all KNOW I saw so many of my friends DIE last year??? I literally have so much PTSD from it... like it's so insensitive you're all actually the WORST

#vent #don't rb #some of you will say ANYTHING for a cheap laugh :(

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🐊 genuablogging

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “narrative causality” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Duc turn into a frog

My buddy Mrs Pleasant, pacing: Lilith de Tempscire is lying to us

456 notes

[courfaeriec]

adora from shera might not have been written w autism in mind and her behaviors are explained by her ptsd and INTERESTING upbringing but oh lordy i have never felt so autistically represented in media

i feel like people focus on entraptas autism and im so so happy to have entrapta there but also AUTISTIC ADORA i love her and her stimmy motions and her rigid thinking and her rubbish social skills and her tight planning and her clumsiness.

ty adora

[baggebythesea]

My favourite She-Ra post canon headcanons

Mystacor spa vacation for a month after the war

Best auntie Casta makes sweaters for everyone

The other princesses gleefully refuse to let Glimmer off the hook as over-queen (or as Bow like to call it - queen-queen) of all of Etheria. Lots of meetings and paperwork for our favourite queen

Catra is made second-in-command. Glimmer takes petty delight in throwing more and more stupid titles at First-Vizir Expert Logistic Coordinator Catra whenever she annoys her (which is often)

Therapy

Every parental figure in Etheria get together and decide that a) Frosta is their child now and b) Despite her protests, Frosta should go back to school

She-Ra spends most of her time subduing remaining robots and monsters, and working to repair war-damaged villages. She has a much less stressful time now when her friends are not constantly in mortal danger.

Most etherians, being a bit fuzzy on what exactly the deal was between Hordak and Prime, decide that Horde Prime was some kind of upstart that tried to usurp Hordak's rightful throne, and that Hordak cast him down in the end. This annoys Hordak immensely, especially since the other clones do nothing to correct them.

To his great discomfort, a group of clones who have a hard time with the 'free will' concept try to follow Hordak as the new Prime. Entrapta sets up a school for them.

Entrapta nearly dies from sleep deprivation as she tries to reverse engineer Horde Prime's tech. It takes Hordak, Imp, Emily, Wrong Hordak, a whole squadron of clones, the super pal trio, Bow and the entire princess alliance to convince her that she can keep working on it the next day

Entrapta totally runs Doom on Light Hope's old hardware. Fortunatelly Hordak manages to install some safety measures. Adora tears up when she realizes that it still spawns spiders.

Hordak takes up philosophy and has a surprising talent for it. This leads to a slow but steady thaw and eventual bonding between him and Bow's dads.

So Much PDA

(and so much PTSD)

Swift Wind, Bow and Sea Hawk invite Micah, Wrong Hordak and - to his great chagrin - Hordak to their boys night. No one invited Double Trouble but they come along anyway. Much shenanigans are had.

Mermista and Perfuma keeps hitting illegal clubs where they can let lose and forget all about queenship and cosmic harmony for a night. When Glimmer finds out she demands they bring her along

Catra and Hordak keep up a vitriolic but deep friendship. They sometimes go on secret missions together to 'sort out things the princesses don't need to know about'

Bow and Scorpia becomes tea-party buddies.

Double Trouble, Swift Wind and Wrong Hordak set up a 'legitimate business enterprise' which totally isn't a series of more and more convoluted scams

[catrasbewbwindow]

In this essay I will…

Hear me out. I firmly believe that Adora and Catra are romantically involved, or whatever the Horde version of that looks like, at the beginning of the show. They officially break up when Catra decides not to defect with Adora. Catra is so upset because she believed they were already broken up when Adora “left her” and couldn’t stand that she had been wrong and won’t put down her pride to follow Adora. The entire show is then about them sorting through their true feelings about each other, about their futures/growing up, and facing their inner demons/traumas. They find ways to work through their issues as individuals and both find ways of showing the other that they still care about each other as people (Catra saving Glimmer and Adora saving Catra). Finally, when Adora is in danger, Catra proves that she still cares for Adora, not just leveling their score, by following her to the Heart and confessing her true feelings.

[justmenoworries]

As much as I despise SPOP fan art that has Glimmer and Adora comfort C*tra about Angella's death, like it shouldn't obviously be the other way around, one thing I find really funny about them is that these fanworks give C*tra way too much credit.

Because in canon, C*tra never shows remorse about killing Angella. The only time she even mentions Angella is in S4. To gloat to Hordak that the Rebellion is going to be reeling from the death of their queen.

Even in S5, when Glimmer and C*tra are alone together on Horde Prime's ship and have no one else to talk to, Angella doesn't come up even once. You'd think Glimmer would at least allude to her or to the fact that C*tra was responsible for her death, but nope. All they talk about is Adora and how funny her PTSD is.

So I'm guessing that one "I'm sorry for everything" was also supposed to entail "I'm sorry for murdering the one healthy mother figure you ever had"? Cause we sure as hell don't hear any sort of apology or see any remorse for it from C*tra for the rest of the season after that.

[that-ari-blogger]

What Secrets Lie In Mystacor's Shadows?

So, it has been noted many, many times that She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is a series about trauma. And usually, this takes the form of overcoming conditioning and pre-programmed responses. But there is another aspect of the trauma that is less obvious.

Adora suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), not from the war or the Horde, but from Shadow Weaver. This is examined in the topic of this post, In The Shadows Of Mystacor.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD

I'm going to start by taking a look at the bath sequence. It shows two things. One: Adora is paranoid and brings a sword to a place in which she should feel safe. Two: Shadow weaver is just messing with her.

That's what's happening here, this is how Shadow Weaver acts. Her stated motive here is bringing Adora back to the Horde, and her preferred method is psychological. She tries to scare Adora into returning, she tries to convince Glimmer and Bow that their friend is unreliable. And she tries to convince Adora that her friends are giving up on her. She's trying to isolate her prey.

Shadow Weaver doesn't have to be a physical threat to be intimidating. She's intelligent, and manipulative. Her power comes from her patience, and her drive, her understanding. She doesn't have to be present to have an impact.

"I saw her shadow on the floor"

A shadow is a reflection, of sorts. It is a sign that there is someone there, not detailed, but enough to be sure. Shadow Weaver is very much here, but its her shadow. You see the impact she has had, more than you see her.

There's even the transition at the end, as the shot of Adora fades into a much closer and larger Shadow Weaver, showing their connection and power dynamic with all the subtlety of a crocodile in a steakhouse.

Despite receiving its name in 1980, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is one of the oldest mental health problems afflicting humanity. It is a response to fear and/or pain that is designed to avoid the same situation again.

Shakespeare famously wrote a character from Henry IV, Hotspur, with what would now be diagnosed as PTSD. There is a whole speech on it in part 1, which I highly recommend you look up. But Cambridge University, the article Shakespeare And Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, gives another description from the bard of the phenomenon:

"Or in the night, imagining some fear, How easy is a bush supposed a bear!" (A Midsummer Night's Dream)

In essence, PTSD has many forms and symptoms, but most revolve around sensory processing and instinctual reactions.

Notice how Adora shows both in this episode. She mistrusts her senses about Shadow Weaver, and immediately goes into a fighting position when snuck up on by Glimmer and Bow.

The point I am making is that this is an episode about Shadow Weaver as much as it is about Adora, and a lot about her can be inferred from Adora's reactions to everything.

"Pull it together, Adora. There's no way shadow weaver can be here."

Again, notice how Adora's shadow is the spy, the influence. Again, Shadow weaver is here, not in person, but through Adora's trauma.

The most stressful scene in this episode is Adora, alone, in a room, taunted by her own thoughts, or rather, thoughts Shadow Weaver has put in her head.

It is almost more comforting when we finally see Shadow Weaver. She becomes a tangible problem, one Adora can talk to, one Adora can physically fight.

I've mentioned Shadow Weaver's shadows before in how they frame a shot, but that was in relation to Catra, notice the difference in how they interact with Adora. With Catra, the shadows cover her up, and corrupt her, they look painful, like claws that scratch specifically at her eyes. With Adora, the shadows encircle her, they compress her, they trap here. The imagery in this shot is reminiscent, at least to me, of fingers clasping shut around Adora to reach for her and grasp her, to control her.

"I could give you Etheria, we could rule the world together."

Here we finally get Shadow Weaver's actual motivation. She doesn't align herself with any faction, she wants control. She offers Adora the world not out of benevolence, but because Adora is the one who can give the world to Shadow Weaver, and all she has to do is manipulate Adora's perceptions to get what she wants.

I do not like Shadow Weaver.

Previous - Next

[catrasbewbwindow]

Adora is the “socially acceptable” kind of neurodivergent. She’s self-sacrificing and a people pleaser. She minimizes her own wants and needs to make others more comfortable.

Catra is the “socially unacceptable” kind of neurodivergent. She’s seen as selfish and inflexible. She takes up space and isn’t afraid to make people uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, in my experience, more people are willing to feel sorry for you when you’re the Adora-type. It’s easy for them to “make room” for you if you don’t ever ask anything of them. All survivors deserve love, care, and patience and being any kind of neurodivergent is hard.

Okay, I think I figured out why people think Catradora is toxic: Adora has the "good person disorder" that makes you feel like you need to protect her, because she has the UwU anxiety and perfectionism, crumbling from the inside presentation of mental illness. She's the *normal*, *acceptable* neurodivergent, the AuDHD who can Do No Wrong.

And Catra has the "bad person mental illness", the "she coped with her trauma by becoming explosive and destructive and hurting the people she loves", the kind of survivor you don't want to see, the "evil personality disorder 😠". She's hurting, like Adora is, but you don't like that hurt, because it's not what you expect of a survivor.

Ffs guys. You can't say their relationship is toxic because Catra isn't your perfect acceptable sanitised mentally ill UwU baby. People have real problems that you aren't used to, or can't romanticise. So don't try.

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Poly! Catradora x gn! Reader - Triumph from a shadow (PRIDE 2023)

A/n: Here is the first installment to the fics of pride 2023! (This is also old, so don't expect the writing to be stellar!)

Summary: You've always been a third wheel to Adora and Catra, even when you stayed with Catra in the horde. You've been over shadowed by the two of them your whole life and you're okay with that. You've seen what power can do to people, but your destiny isn't okay with it, and neither is your feelings.

Warnings: panic attacks, ptsd from the horde prolly, mild violence, death swearing, low self esteem, abandonment issues, crying, unrequited love, I think that's it? You have been warned!

The three P's:

[Pov: 2nd person][Pronouns used: you/your][Pairings: romantic! Catradora x reader, platonic! glimmer x reader, platonic! bow x reader, platonic! Entrapta x reader]

You've been a third wheel to Catra's and Adora's relationship from the beginning. Even in the horde when you had decided to stay with Catra to keep her safe she was still obsessed with Adora. When you had defected the horde because you saw what Catra was doing to herself and not only could you not watch her do it, you felt like you were only encouraging it.

While you came back to Brightmoon and tried to help Adora and the rest of the Princess's everything had spiraled and eventually Adora couldn't just ignore her feelings for Catra and you were left alone.

Unlike Catra and Adora, you can ignore you feelings, because you know they're unrequited, you take one look at the way they look at each and whatever hope in you dies. They've never looked at you like that before.

We're you really that hard to love?

As you were on the ship - Darla, with the "best friend squad" and Entrapta you're eternally grateful Glimmer had suggested you come, because you didn't want to be on Etheria. Not really, you would have been useless, and even though when you look around at all these people who are so strong you know you're out of place. At least you were with the people you longed to be with the most.

Which, is a different kind of torture all on it's own.

On the couch in the control area of the ship tears come to your eyes as Darla is on autopilot for a planet called Nyxion, it's believed that the people there are called Nyx. Though you haven't gotten a transmission back after you guys had tried to send one to them.

Sniffles are heard throughout the room as you try desperately not to cry, you couldn't cry not only would it probably wake somebody up, it would only prove your weakness.

Although it seemed like someone was already awake because you heard footsteps from behind you as someone place's a hand on your shoulder.

"Y/n?"

It's Adora, you would know that happy, soft voice from anywhere.

More footsteps erupt from behind the two of you and another hand is placed on your other shoulder and you know it's Catra from the claws that slightly dig into you in worry.

"Are you okay?" Catra's soothing, hard voice, whispers and the urge to burst out into tears gets even harder to ignore.

You close your eyes and sigh, "I'm fine, you guys should go back to sleep. I know you need your rest."

Adora laughs quietly and wraps her arms around you and leans in so her head is against your shoulder, while Catra leaps gracefully into your lap and places her hands over Adora's.

"You're always putting others before yourself, just relax for a second." Catra's voice surrounds you.

"We're here for you." Adora says warmly. "We'll always be."

"What?" Your breathe out as your mind starts getting flashes of your memories from your childhood at the horde.

"Ya, we made a promise clumsy." Catra grins up slyly at you.

"Adora! Catra!" Your child self yells out excitedly for the two of them.

"We're over here clumsy!" Catra screeches at you as she and Adora wave you over to them. Of course you come barreling towards them knocking you guys all down.

"Nice work clumsy!" Catra snaps at you as she helps Adora up leaving you on your own.

"Sorry I was just excited." You say dejectedly, taking sudden interest with the floor below you.

"It's okay." Adora offers. "We're really excited to see you too!"

Looking up you see Adora nearly jumping up and down she's so happy and you see Catra soften her glare towards you and it almost turns into a smile.

"Where were you guys?" You question tilting your head to the side to observe how Catra grips onto Adora's arm.

"With Shadow Weaver." Catra murmurs fearfully, and shudders as she says her Shadow Weavers name.

Scrunching your nose you shake your little head.

"Shadow weaver doesn't like me."

Which wasn't entirely true, she had avoided you at all costs sure, but she hadn't yelled or screamed at you. Not like she did everyone else, she even sometimes would yell at Adora. But never you, it was like she admired you, or perhaps the truth is she was afraid of you. Of what you didn't know. All you know now looking back on it, is that Shadow weaver for some reason was afraid of you.

Adora shrugs and walks up to you and grabs you by your shoulders.

"That doesn't mean we can't be friends!"

As you shake your head the younger Catra comes up from behind you and wraps her arms around your torso (a little possessively) and cuddles you from behind.

"I'm just scared you'll forget about me, and leave me..." You trail off but Catra finishes the sentence for you. "Alone?"

You nod your head sadly.

"Hey." Adora squeezes onto your shoulders.

"We're here for you." She says quietly like it's the most important secret in the world, to say that she and Catra won't leave you. "We'll always be."

"What?" Your younger self thinks out loud.

"We're making a promise clumsy." Catra says affectionately.

Abruptly you pull away from the two of them and stand up.

You couldn't do this, you couldn't just stay in their embrace like you when you guys were young. You are young no longer, and no longer are your feels platonic and free. They are love and caged, and enraged because of it. The love you feel, would only hurt them.

"I can't-" You break off the beginning of your sentence and you nearly start to cry. "I can't do this again."

The two of them stand up and Adora stands in front of you, as Catra stands behind you.

"Y/n, we just want to help." Adora says gently and tries to take your hand in hers but you pull away before you can.

"Just leave, leave me be."

Adora looks at you clearly hurt by your actions and words, as Catra, being as protective over her girlfriend as she is gets a little bit angry.

"Fine, we'll leave you to wallow alone then! If you don't want us, we'll leave!"

Catra takes Adora's hand, and although Adora probably isn't very happy with Catra's choice of words but she doesn't protest when she leads both of them out of the control room. Away from you.

"No, wait-"

"We've tried Y/n, but we can't wait around for you while you push us away." Adora says quietly and her words stab you straight through the heart and they kick at your delicate walls. They come crumbling down around you as you collapse into sobs.

"Wait! Please!" Your voice borders on hysterical "I'm sorry I'll-" This time you cut yourself off as your own voice gets taken over by the cries that erupt from your throat uncontrollably. Cries that have been waiting a long time to be let out.

In seconds Catra is in front of you taking your face in her beautifully dangerous hands and moves your head so you're looking up at her.

"Hey, hey, hey." Adora's voice comes from behind Catra. "You're okay." Adora says while Catra says at the same time; "You're with us."

"We won't leave you alone." Catra whispers into your ear.

"We promise." Adora says as she takes your hands into hers and places it over her heart.

"Am I-" Your voice is hoarse, and still riddled with hiccups as tears still run down your face. Yet it isn't as hysterical and out of control as before.

"Am I hard to love?"

It's silent for a second before Adora shakes her head. "Y/n, I'm not sure we totally understand." She tells you lightly.

"Am I hard to love." Your voice is like a scorching fire. "Because you guys have never loved me, not once. Not even when I love you guys so much it hurts to be around you. So tell me, am I just that impossible. That unlovable." Your voice is hard and both of them look at you with surprised faces and while Darla starts beeping, alerting everyone that you've reached your destination.

Glimmer, Bow, and Entrapta come through as the ship starts opening it's doors and ramps to the ground as you rip yourself away from Catra and Adora. While you go to join Glimmer, and Bow who look at you with matching concerned expressions.

"Don't ask." You grit out as you wipe the rest of the tears from your face.

"Are you-" Bow starts, trying not to freak out.

"I said don't."

Everyone is quiet as you guys take in the seemingly abandoned planet.

It's primary colors are black, and different shades of grey, as vines twist across the ground and trees hang over your heads. Yet there's a certain beauty to the darkness. When the light hits the right parts of the dark vines and trees they glow an almost rainbow color.

In the distance there's a structure that looks vaguely like a broken down temple. You feel a pull towards it, and you know you guys have to head over there if you want any answers.

"We should head over to that temple over there." You raise your voice and there's no response from anyone, everyone is just stays extremely quiet, keeping their heads down. You want to scream in anger, at least it would break the heavy tension in the room.

Finally the tenison is broken by Entrapta (bless her heart) as she shakes her head full of purple hair.

"I'll just stay over here I think! But I still want to know what's happening soooo..."

She hands everyone small little body camera's and you can't help but smile at her. She really is a genius beyond compare.

"I can also speak through them and if you want to try and get my attention just say my name!" She says excitedly, bouncing up and down.

"Thanks Entrapta." You nod your head towards her, as everyone puts on the body cams.

Catra slyly glares at Entrapta as she harshly grabs onto your hand and starts leading the group towards the temple.

"What the fuck was that!" You scowl at Catra passive-aggressive behavior.

She doesn't say anything but she doesn't let you go either. If anything, she grips onto you harder as you feel her claws dig into your wrist.

Taking your other hand, Adora grips onto it like it's her last life-line before she's pulled into the sea.

They don't say anything at all, the only words that are exchanged are from Glimmer and Bow who are desperately trying to fill the awkward silence.

"Y/n." Adora starts. "We just wanted to say-"

You cut her off by shaking both their hands off not wanting to hear their ultimate rejection.

Just in time before the two girlfriends can say anything else, the temple stands before the five of you.

It's black like the trees and the vines, and it looks old. Nevertheless it's beautiful with some dark crystals and symbols engraved into the black stone. Although it feels like the temple is missing something.

You feel like you're in a trance as you walk through the entryway as the others follow behind you.

"Uh, guys?" Entrapta's voice comes through the devices.

"If you guys go straight it will lead you to a power source that may or may not be magical. And it may or may have been barred off from the planet for a long time and if you guys don't unlock it from it's cage it will make the planet below up in... 30 minutes."

Immediately, everyone starts running furiously forward trying to get to the center as fast as possible.

Running up next to Glimmer you jog beside her contemplating on asking her your question wondering if she'll actually say yes but... If you don't say anything you'll never know.

"Glimmer." You brush your hand against her arm to get her attention.

"Can you teleport me to the center."

"But I can't teleport everyone?" She questions you, eyebrows frowned.

"I know." You whisper as you don't really want the others to hear. "I just want you teleport me, just me. I just have a feeling to this place, a connection I think."

Glimmer stops and observes you before nodding her head. Out of everyone, Glimmer was the one to go with problems like these. The other person might have been Adora but you didn't want to talk to her right now and she had a tendency to freak out over your safety. Not that Glimmer didn't, but she wasn't dramatic like Adora, nor would she be irrational.

"Okay."

In a second she takes your arm and you're teleported into the center of the temple.

Glimmer teleports out quickly as to not worry the others and probably to leave you alone here. She would understand, you would think.

In the center of the... center you suppose, is a beam of magic that's red, and black light with a grey magic barrier surrounding it.

Looking closer you realize it must be dark magic.

Taking a closer look at the walls around you, you realize that these aren't random symbols, they were writings, and you could read them.

Memories from the past flash through your mind forcefully as you read them.

People that were born from dark magic, normal, happy, magic users who used it for good. They were shunned from outside planets but the queens did not tell their people to resent them, they told them they just didn't understand them.

The queens were powerful and together they birthed a child from the magic, but before they could raise them Horde Prime came and obliterated their people. In a rush they had contained it's magic making so only one person could contain all the magic. Dark magic would always stay on this planet but it needed someone to stick to.

They created a safety guard on the place so if anyone came inside they would have to fight an large three headed dog.

As Prime came closer the two queens kissed their baby on the head goodbye with tears in their eyes as they did what they couldn't do for their people.

Save them.

So they sent the baby away with a spell, sending the child through darkness hoping praying they would end up somewhere safe. And that child you - had ended up right into Shadow weavers arms.

Then Prime killed the queens.

You fell to the ground your head pounding at your heart yearning.

You knew what you had to do, you had to go inside the beam of magic and absorb it's magic's power before it teared the planet apart.

Getting up you start to trek forward before four hands firmly pull you back.

"What are you doing!" Adora yells at you.

"The magic is restless, someone needs to absorb it so it doesn't tear the planet apart!"

"It's dark magic! You won't survive!" Catra screams down at you as her iron hold on you becomes even stronger.

"Yes, I will." You say calmly, the tone of your voice surprises everyone.

"You don't know that!" Adora cries out. "I'm going to do it, She-ra can do take it!"

Instantly Catra lets you go when she hears Adora's words.

"No you will not!"

In the distance you hear a growl and the ground shakes beneath you and you know you've run out of time.

Dodging She-ra and Catra, you sprint up to the magic and you hesitant slightly.

What if it didn't accept you? What if your moms had it made for someone else?

"Y/n!" Everyone screams for you to stand back, and the rational part of your brain is agreeing with them. Really, you didn't know what you were dealing with, but the pull you feel here is undeniable.

You've never been one for rational decisions anyways.

"I love you." You declare to Catra and Adora before taking a step into the dark.

It envelopes you wholly, it's long black inky arms seeks entry into your body, it doesn't hurt. This much magic going into your body should hurt, but maybe it's had a place there all along.

You're lifted into the air and you feel the darkness seep into you, and you welcome it like an old friend. More memories of your moms, of your people are filtered through your brain, even that you don't stop. This is where you were meant to be, what you've been meaning to become.

You feel every last drop of the magic inside of you yet you don't come down. What happens if you just stayed there? Could you be able to learn more about your people, why would you ever need to come down? Down there is so confusing, and horrible, terrible things have happened down there.

However the shouts of Adora and Catra fill your ears, their pleas for you to come back to them are desperate. Then you hear Adora turn into She-ra but she's not trying to "save" you, you don't think Catra would let her, no there must be something attacking them.

The three headed dog.

Opening suddenly your eyes are filled with black as you descend down, while around you your body is glowing. You can feel every shadow across the universe, and all the secrets of every individual.

You stand in front of your friends and you send an inky black barrier to cover them with just the flick of your hand as the dogs snarls and howls at you. He's a afraid, not of you but of being alone, yet he feels like he has to fulfill his purpose.

"I remember you." You whisper. "Mom used to play fetch with you outside the temple, and mama would watch from the sidelines, claiming she didn't like you."

You tilt your head to the side and the three headed dog does the same, as if he too, is starting to recognize you.

"But she gave you your name, Spot right? And she was the one who would pet you in the middle of the night."

Spot howls and runs at you as he nuzzles your neck, and cuddles you. Slobber must have been all over you.

Giggling the barrier separating you, with your friends dissipates as your eyes slowly fade back to their natural color, of course with a dark tint that wasn't quite there before.

"Y/n!" Adora runs up behind you as she pulls you into a hug.

"I thought I had lost you!" She exclaims.

"We, thought we had lost you." Catra comes in front of you, and takes your hands into hers.

"You almost did, it showed me so many memories of me, my moms, and my people. I didn't want to leave, even when the magic had transferred over to me entirely." You sigh a bit shyly.

"What made you come back?" Glimmer is behind you in a spark, but you knew she would end up there - her shadow was there before she was. So you didn't flinch or jump at the sound of her voice.

"Well I didn't want you guys to hurt Spot." You pet the ginormous three headed dog, you joke with a sarcastic tone at the end. Yet you pause before what you're going to say next. Did you have to courage to tell them outright when you weren't in distress?

Still, as you observe Adora and Catra you think maybe it's them who have to say it to you, or break it to you that they didn't love you.

"My friends." You reply, "All of you, I thought Spot was going to go after you guys (it's what he was trained to do after all) and just knowing that anyone of you could die... I just knew I couldn't stay there forever, not while you guys were suffering."

"OH!" Bow screeches. "Best friend squad!" And he pulls you all into a big hug as Entrapta agree's from the cameras.

"How did you know about any of this..." Adore trails off as everything soon gets quieter at her question.

Chuckling you take Catra's and Adora's hands into your as you wink at Bow and Glimmer. "I'll tell you all on the way and maybe on the ship. Quite frankly it's a long story!"

____________

After you had told your story to them, Glimmer had informed you that you would have to start training with your newfound magical powers. Even if she still sounded a little uncomfortable at the prospect of dark magic, you had told her that you were basically a vessel made to hold dark magic, and control it. There was no corrupting you, plus your people and parents had never been corrupted.

Catra and Adora had been acting weirdly around you, to say the least. You would do something you would normally do and they would have matching bright faces. Along with the fact that the three of you still haven't spoke about you confessing your love for them... Twice.

"Well this is a familiar setting." Catra speaks from behind you in the control room, while everyone else are in their respective rooms.

You can feel Adora's shadow also coming to the control room a bit farther down the hall then Catra. Without turning around you call out to her;

"Hello Adora."

"Oh crap! That's like super scary!" She yells as she jogs up to the couch where Catra now is laying her head inside your lap.

"That's the point Adora." You snicker but there's definitely a teasing tone to your voice.

She comes up behind you and somehow slides in behind you so her arms are warped around you, and your back is flushed against her chest.

There's silence for a while, for long time. It's not awkward or bad, it's actually pretty great as you cuddle the two of them.

"Y/n?" Adora's voice comes out a bit croaky.

"Yes?"

"We love, you like a lot."

"I know."

Catra sits up and slides into your lap. "If you were any other person right now I would slap you."

Giggling you run an hand through her hair. "I think- I think even I deserve love. Whether it be platonic or romantic."

"Hey Y/n." Adora whispers as her lips touch the shell of your ear.

"You aren't hard to love."

Catra kisses your cheek and smiles down at you, it's that smile you know not many people other than Adora and now you have seen.

"You never were."

Words 3774

-thedelusionreaderbitch

She-ra taglist: No one yet!

[mx-nii]

All of my hyperfixations - past and present - are merging into a chaotic bundle of the Triple Ts (terribly traumatized twinks) and slowly driving me insane.

I can’t focus on my day to day life when I’m constantly thinking of terribly traumatized twinks (not all of them are twinks BUT THEY ARE ALL GAY)

Like genuinely how am I supposed to focus on such trivial matters like pre-calc or my collapsing relationship with my father when all I can think about is:

how Heartstopper isn’t just a cringe teen show, it’s a beautiful representation of being young and queer, and how struggling with mental health can severely impact your most formative years - Charlie had friends and yet still felt completely alone and like he couldn’t burden them with his pain because mental illness fucks with your brain so deeply, it’ll make you believe you have nothing and no one when you may actually have something and someone

or how Dead Boy Detectives isn’t just a silly ghost show (although it’s a wonderful silly ghost show), its a show about how friendship and love can be the most powerful thing in your arsenal (aside from a magic cricket racket) and how your past can haunt (ha) you and how the constant fear of becoming who you hate most in the world will always linger in the back of your mind but your true family can keep you safe and help you heal, and how fucking impossible it is to be gay or a POC at the wrong place, in the wrong fucking time - and maybe you won’t be able to find any peace in your current situation but there is peace out there somewhere, waiting for you patiently. (Charles and Edwin found their peace in their own homebrew afterlife, but seeing as we are mere servants of the mortal plane and not transdimensional beings, we shall have to suffice with sculpting our own peace out of this terrifying world because we fully damn well can, and we deserve it)

or how she-ra isn’t some goofy kid show; it’s a show about how being groomed and manipulated can destroy a child’s psyche so much that it will take years to rebuild (also it’s gay as fuck). catra wasn’t cruel (okay maybe she was just a bit but hear me out guys- I’m due for a rewatch and all I remember is I love that woman more than life itself), she was abandoned again and again and again and all she wanted was for adora to stay, so she wouldn’t be alone anymore, not again. And finally- FINALLY she stayed (giving us one of the most cinematic scenes in history [so just this once, adora: stay]). Adora and Catra are two sides of the same coin. They were both subject to the mental and physical torture of Shadow Weaver and they both responded in different ways due to their own personalities and differences in how they were treated - but they found each other in the end, and always protected each other because that’s what best friends (specifically the really really gay ones) do.

or how the owl house ALSO isn’t a silly kids show, but instead another show about abuse and trauma and growing up queer, and how healing and freeing acceptance is (oh and also some more child soldiers). Amity was so mean to people because meanness and cruelty was all she knew, until Luz took the time to dig a bit deeper and find the real Amity buried deep inside - and how Luz and Amity, even at such a young age, in such a dangerous and confusing world, were ALWAYS there for each other, no matter what

or how 9-1-1 is deeper than just a random fire fire show. It depicts all sorts of personal struggles like post partum depression, PTSD, anxiety, trauma, child neglect/abuse, depression, abandonment, death, foster care, divorce, and ofc: suppressed queerness/comp het! (Eddie literally put Buck in his will and made him the designated legal guardian for Christopher - if that ain’t gay, idk what is)

or how criminal minds has one of the most tragically beautiful found family tropes whilst being a show about the literal scum of the earth? How even in such gruesome circumstances, these people banded together and made the most beautiful family.

or how Percy Jackson is a kids/teen book but delves into such deep and tragic topics so well. Child soldiers, child abuse, being queer at the wrong place and time, coming to terms with being queer, child soldiers, DID I MENTION THE CHILD SOLDIERS??

or how Epic uses expert music theory and lyricism to convey a gorgeous tragedy in the best way I’ve ever seen

or how the grishaverse had so much potential, and is a brilliant literary universe but was BUTCHERED on screen, wasting one of the best casts I’ve ever seen

Genuinely how do I move on with my life when I can’t stop thinking about this (and so many more thoughts that I don’t have the energy to write out at 3:30AM)

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

What are your thoughts on the episode "Shot In The Dark"? I personally don't like how Catra is shown to have PTSD symtomps and were supposed to take them seriously when Wrong Hordak (which i can't believe they never gave him an actual name, what a way to drill it into his head that he isn't the person that they were actually looking for) and Adora have also shown to do the same and yet were supposed to see it as funny and a joke when they do it. Adora's trauma regarding Catra and her attemps on her life was just boiled down to her being "dumb" in front of the Star Siblings, and Wrong Hordak was ugly crying because he just found out his existence was a lie. Also the fact that this episode once again proves that Adora could literally just breath and Catra would get mad with that "I'm working on my anger scene" which i guess is another "joke" my having Catra get angry at Adora just for appreciating her "working" on her anger issues

i.. don't remember much of that episode honestly. but i agree, it's so annoying how catra's trauma is the only one taken seriously. wrong hordak was unnecessary, first of all, but if they were gonna include him as a character, at least take his trauma seriously? he was a literal clone who was brainwashed to think and act a certain way, his existential crisis shouldn't be a haha funny moment.

same with adora. and every other character, in fact. i don't know why they even bothered putting the other characters through trauma if they were never going to mention it. in that case, why not just make catra the only character with a sad backstory?

honestly, every episode in s5 was just annoying and frustrating to me. the entire season was a dumpster fire.

[mariabrightmoon]

THIS. IS. C9YGU9VOUB9YV64S5F7BIH2WWRGGH

Omg omg omg omg omg so real

Just how amazing and talented y are!?!? I can believe how it startrd and now we got a whole serie😭😭😭😭🫂🫂🫂🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰 tysmm really

A Haunted mind 5

[a haunted mind 5]

Chapter five. Tension.

one(link) - two(link) - three(link) - four(link)

wattpad(link) - quotev(link)

The air in the ship felt heavy, the smell of breakfast feeling like the only thing to ease the ache of anxiety as yet another pit started to form in catra's stomach.

She lingered in bed, knees to her chest and curled up on the mattress, while adora had gone ahead before her. 

The fight she had with glimmer last night as well as the nightmare and flashbacks of memories lingered in her mind and kept her body from moving towards the door of the room.

A lot of what she'd said last night just came out without any warning, without even thinking about it. She didn't even realize a large part of what she said was how she'd been feeling and it all spilled out like a bursted bottle screwed shut too tightly.

She felt melog nudge her hand and looked over her knees at it, giving the alien cat a gentle scratch behind the ear. "I'll join them later...not really hungry right now"

Melog let out a low "mrow" in protest, knowing she was lying. Just then as if confirming her companions suspicions, her stomach growled and started demanding the food she could smell through the ship. 

"Ugh okay, maybe I am hungry. But I can't just go out there after last night and act like nothing happened, how am I supposed to..." She gave a sigh and stretched out her legs, pushing herself off the bed. "Never mind. I'll just...get it over with." Her need for food overrides her anxiety around confrontation.

A quick outfit change later and catra headed out of her and adora's shared room with melog at her side. She walked down the hall and towards the cockpit of the ship where everyone had gathered.

A cheery voice rang out as the door slid open and closed behind her. "TINY PANCAKES!! These are so good!!!" Entrapta squealed before shoveling a couple small pancakes into her mouth.

Catra forced a smile as the purple haired princess turned and waved with a muffled greeting. "Hey ctra!" 

"Catra, hey, care for some pancakes?" Bow smiled, offering her a plate of normal looking pancakes. "Glimmer helped" he admitted with a shy shrug.

"Oh um...sure" she nodded, taking the plate and a fork and walking over to where adora sat against the wall eating her own plate of pancakes.

"You sure you can eat all that?" She chuckled at her girlfriend who was happily eating away at her pile.

"What? Sure I can! They're great!" Adora insisted as catra sat next to her, melog curling up at the both of their feet.

Catra's eyes shifted around the room, from adora's adorable glee as she ate, entraptas equally giddy mood as she ate more tiny pancakes when bow handed them to her, Hordaks refusal to try them at first only to give in for Entrapta and her smike, finally over to glimmer, who avoided eye contact and glanced away when catra looked over.

Her eyes then fell to her own plate. She'd normally just brush it off and feel at ease, but after everything that's happened and she could see the mix of a cold shoulder and guilt ridden silence from glimmer... The pit in her stomach seemed to boil her appetite away.

"Catra" for a second her mind flashed back to the scenes in her nightmares, fur standing on end and shoulders actively tensing up, but she relaxed when she registered it was actually adora, the other laying a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, it's nothing like the food I made yesterday, trust me, nothing's burnt or undercooked." She smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

Catra tried smiling back but adoras faltered when she say it didn't reach her eyes. "Still waking up from that nightmare, huh?" 

"Catra has nightmares?" Bows question and worried look made her tense up all over again, tail folding over her ankles.

"No, no. I'm fine, it's nothing" she insisted. Even glimmers short cast of a worried glance made her curl further in to herself. She didn't want pity. "I'm fine"

"Okay, okay" bow held up a hand, palm foreword, a plate in his other hand while he made his attempt at coming off friendly and non threatening. 

She hated this. Pity, sympathetic looks...it was bad enough she got worried looks from adora when she grew up used to adoras smiles and teasing to cheer her up.

This wasn't what she wanted, she didn't wanted to be given masks of sympathy. She didn't want to be treated like she was fragile and could blow up at any minute, she didn't want to be the danger.

The tension in the room got worse. They still hadn't mentioned last night, thankfully, but the room felt almost sufficatingly awkward. Suffocatingly...breathing..

Her chest was tight, she couldn't breathe. Why couldn't she breathe??

"Catra? You're shaking" adora said quietly, slipping her hand to catra's wrist, taking the untouched plate and cutlery and setting them aside with her own. "Catra it's okay" she whispered.

She shut her eyes tight as adora put their foreheads together, not wanting to see the concerned look in her girlfriends eyes and just wanting to hear the comforting tone in her voice.

"Breathe with me, catra" adora spoke softly as she counted the rhythm of their unmatched breathing, hers steady, catra's uneven and wavering, forced. "Just relax. Okay? In one...two...three...four..." Slowly but surely the pattern of their breathing matched up and catra's heartrate calmed with her.

"There you go, good job" adora pressed a kiss to catra's forehead and she opened her eyes to see that familiar warm smile again. Pride. "You're alright catra"

She the realized the silence in the room and felt embarrassed, avoiding looking anywhere but the floor. It was going to be a long, awkward day full of tension in the space ship...

tagging: @mariabrightmoon

reblogs are appreciated!

feel free to request more angst, fluff or whatever comes to mind!

be sure to check my pinned post!

[swearyshera]

What about adora? Adhd, anxiety, anything beyond that?

I've seen some posts about Adora being autistic, which is not something I thought about but it does seem to fit. My personal headcanons are indeed ADHD and anxiety, mixed in with a whole heap of PTSD.