#admiral vance x reader

[emeraldsyndicate]

The future, is what you make of it.

Fanfic/ Star Trek Captain Pike, Admiral Vance X reader

(I take no credit for these characters, I'm just playing with them, seeking a happy ending to a muse that sat upon my shoulder and murmured "what if...."

Summary : It was an ordinary day for me, till it wasn't. It's kinda like those zenn gardens, the stones in the sand with the circles radiating outward - but in my case apparently across time and multiple realities.

It's made me introspective. What is compassion and do we ever truly know the effects of one kind act tossed out into the universe till a/the "god" (any sufficiently advanced civilization/technology would appear god like or magical) takes notice. All "god" ever really does, is give choices. Those spoken and more significantly, those unspoken, and with them the possibility of a life and love, worth dying for, and perhaps their own desire, after so much death and destruction for just one "happy ending", not perfect, no one can promise perfect, choices after all, but happy.

warning: Mature, O.C. some spoilers and diverges from the end of season 4 destiny and season 2 of strange new worlds.

I've never posted before, gentle feedback is appreciated....

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Your tired, in fact, truth be told you are way way beyond exhausted and not really too sure how you are managing to function. But its not like there is another choice. Well, technically, you had your choice, made it, and these are the consequences. God knows you were warned…hell that’s actually funny. God knows you were warned…by a "god", and then you went and broke the only rule he gave you. You got offered paradise and now, now you’ve got a ring side seat to exactly what hell is like…complete with a demon. A demon with dead, dark eyes seemingly seething with hate and a hunger that is never, ever satisfied. You shake your head to dispel the image of it circling, slowly, snarling and clicking, growing ever closer, watching for a weak moment when it could pounce. That nightmare was never ever going to go away.

You drag your sorry self up the ladder of yet another Jefferies tube and start the imposed sentence of cleaning it. A horrible, mind numbing and exhausting job – your punishment. You can feel the sweat already starting to trickle down your back severely exacerbating the burning, rubbed raw rash, an allergic reaction to the fabric, of your prison fatigues. The only thing, in the only fabric, the replicator will issue you. The commander made sure he didn’t miss a beat in ensuring you had the “full effect”. You were hungry but knew the “K” rations, again all that the computer would issue you, although they met your nutritional requirements, would turn your stomach and cause severe cramping that made your last bout of stomach flu look like a day at the beach. Still this is better than yesterday. Very little could fail to be better than yesterday with you and the chief trapped with a Gorn.

She’s still in Medlab and your, well your back on “shift” without even 12 hours of recovery time. Everything aches, absolutely everything aches, you swear even the inside of your eyelids hurt, but your lucky to be alive. "Again", you correct yourself, lucky to be alive again, however your starting to wonder if this is indeed part of the consequences for pissing off a deity. You can't suffer if your not alive you think to yourself ruefully smirking.

You want so very very badly to feel safe, just for a few minutes, to be comforted, cared for -it’s a federation ship for pity sake. Their very motto is service, sacrifice, compassion and love – just not for you.

The commander made sure everyone knew not to fraternize with the screw up who cost them the alliance with the Tal when you hadn’t shown up for the reception. The captain, he seemed intent on ensuring your full sentence was carried out to the letter. Neither of them seemed to have any of the empathy for you which they lavished upon others. They had raged at you the next morning when you’d hurried to find them and explain as not one message had gone through. They'd gone one up one side of you and down the other, neither willing to let you utter a single word in your defense, insisting there was none. You kept trying to keep a lid on your tempter as you’d been up all night and knew normally they were far more level headed and fair.

You decided to try and wait till they ran out of steam to explain when the commander had gone so far as to state blithely, when you’d taken a deep breath and raised your hand to try and interject, that if you uttered a single, solitary syllable, ever, to try and excuse your gross, selfish lack of foresight regarding this matter, that he would ship you to the penal colony of epsilon 8. Your mouth had fallen open in shock as he had continued to rail at you, his finger shaking in your face, his own a mask of rage and disgust. This was not the man you knew.

They had both seemed so haggard and tired, after all the war with the gorn was not going well and they had had high hopes for the support this new ally could have provided.

You had started to say “captain, commander” in a gentle voice sure it was just a misunderstanding, as it was apparently far far more severe a situation than you had thought but they were both reasonable men so you were sure that when you explained…

Only to be interrupted by him saying, in a low angry voice with enough venom to have you stepping back “choose your next actions carefully as I swear on my honour as  Starfleet officer if you dare utter another single sound for this inexcusable conduct, I will put you on the shuttle in cuffs personally, I AM the authority in this sector. The lives you have endangered with your self-indulgent, selfish,… primitive…” He had literally spat out.

You had looked in shock back and forth from the captain to the commander with Pike running his hands through his badly tussled hair who had joined in insisting “– show up, all you had to do was show up – can you even conceive of the damage done by your actions. That they wouldn’t know, wouldn’t check where you’d gone instead. The level of insult you’ve caused…”

I still had absolutely no idea what I had done that was so horribly wrong. I agree I wasn't there but there didn't seem to be another option at the time, and how my choice could have been so offensive, given the potential for harm if I had just left and gone to the reception, was seemingly beyond my limited experience with or understanding of interspecies politics.

No one bothered to tell me that, although everyone seemed to know. Which made even trying to defend myself impossible. So I was trying to keep my head down, finish the sentence of hard labor to teach me ”some character, badly needed humility and some small inclination of the meaning of self-sacrifice”, at least until I could disappear.

 Seriously, I had thought as I worked, like I hadn’t wanted the “Cinderella deal” at the Tal reception. I’d gotten to be dressed to the 9’s, as a last minute substitute to ensure the Tal cultural norms were obeyed, as the officers had been dropping like flies due to the virus brought in on the rescued transport earlier that day. While not lethal for most species it would make you damn sick for over 48 hour as it ran its course , along with being highly contagious. Hence everyone, even me, non-starfleet, were moving via the transporters to avoid the possible spread of the virus. I really had felt like I had won the lottery, A night on the arm of a handsome Starfleet officer, dinner with a charming and witty companion, dancing. Even if you were terrified of not using the right fork or upsetting aliens you didn’t know existed 3 months ago, you had really been looking forward to it. It seemed originally like fate had thrown you a bone, given you just one night of what may have been, a wonderful fairy tale night to last the rest of your life after you ensured you disappeared. It was a big galaxy after all and they, they had their whole life ahead of them now.

 Fate however, or the aforementioned "God", had put other plans in place and now you were being punished. Not that you could see any other choice at the time you had thought leaning all of your weight into a particularly stubborn nodule with sweat dripping down into your eyes mixing with the tears born of exhaustion, pain and self-indulgent but not unwarranted, pity. That, was of course, when you slipped.

Now usually the safety measures on a Starfleet vessel would prevent accidents of this nature but not when they hadn’t been engaged. After all no one would talk to you, you had no computer access, privileges or codes so you had no means of knowing they existed or being able to invoke them. That meant that when you slipped and fell you kept going, all the way down to the deck with a rather sickening thud.

You had a moment to register the pain, the sharp snapping sensation in your arm and right side along with the sudden inability to take a breath. Your last stream of conscious thought was that you were going to die, all alone while surrounded by those who but for your refusal to obey a "god" would have welcomed and cared for you.

You could have had a fairy tale life, safe from harm and they, they would have been just as trapped as if they were still fated to end up in those horrible medical support devices. Trapped inside a pain filled shell of what they once were or could be. Alive, because of you, but because of debt and duty to you they would never again truly be able to live. You were going to die having been thrust 1500 years into the future. Sent here purportedly because a "god of time" had deemed it wasn’t fair you had lost everything, every hope, every dream everyone, your very world lost to you forever because of the time war, and the fact you would not let them kill a child.

A child whose name you still didn’t know, but, at least she got to grow up you'd consoled yourself. The time soldiers charging out of the wormhole hadn’t even really wanted the child at the playground you’d been walking past, they were after someone called grayson….in order to destroy someone or something called ….spock.

[crescenthistory]

It's Nice To Have A Friend

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Synopsis: Remus' childhood best friend is the only person he is comfortable showing unrestrained affection towards – until he one day gets in his own head about it.

Words: 14.4k

Warnings/tags: there are some suggestive remarks, brief references to "shagging" and implied underage drinking, but i would classify it as safe for minors! fem!reader, use of y/n, childhood best friends to lovers (thus you grew up in wales and use welsh terms, but you aren't said to be welsh), you are in ravenclaw (only for one plot point, not personality), platonic physical affection, romantic physical affection, kissing, "it was revealed to me in a dream" trope, some miscommunication trope, deep yearning, remus' pov (meaning loads of self-loathing and overthinking), panic attack-ish, remus cursing like a sailor and joking about jumping, kind of shy/reserved!remus, some angst, happy ending ofc, background jilypad

Note: phew this was intense but sosososo much fun to write. it is very much a fluffy fic tho, don't be worried<3 i fucking love this story/dynamic so much

It is an ill-kept secret that Remus John Lupin struggles with romantic public displays of affection.

It was something his best friends had teased him relentlessly for since the first time he was given a Valentine Day’s card in year two by a boy that he didn’t even have a crush on mind you, and became a stuttering, spluttering mess. He could still hear James and Sirius’ barks of laughter the second that Hufflepuff was out of view and could still feel the bench shake from when Peter fell off it, clutching his stomach. Remus had been sure his cheeks would be permanently dyed red from the shame.

His one friend who did not betray him in such a manner was his oldest, namely you. Remus’ sweetheart, as Sirius called you, his childhood best friend from back home who he broke the statute of secrecy for when he was too young to realise what that meant, but who thankfully turned out to be a witch too. Something you both wept tears of joy for, as you did not have to be separated when he went off to Hogwarts.

On that horrid day, you only pinched his darkening cheeks and laughed quietly – still teasing, but in a way that felt more like admiring and less like humiliating. He faintly remembers scrunching his nose at you in response, a look you immediately mirrored before you went to hide him in the crook of your neck and gave the others a faux scolding for “embarrassing poor Rem when he is wholly capable of doing so himself”. 

His makeshift pack of friends kept that routine up for the rest of his school years, consisting of James and Sirius poking constant fun, Peter enjoying it all a tad bit too much, and you “protecting” him while laughing all the same. His affliction only worsened throughout his time at Hogwarts, but if one of his afflictions were to be the butt of a joke, he supposed he was grateful it was this one.

In moments like these, it was a tad bit difficult to keep that sentiment up, though.

“You should have seen the look on his face, doll!” Sirius made out through a laugh as the group made their way back from Hogsmeade. 

He was recounting Remus’ dance on the Three Broomsticks dancefloor with one slightly-more-rowdy-than-normal Emmeline Vance who all but dragged him out there despite his quiet sputters. You had been off on some endless errands that Remus had passionately attempted to join you for before Sirius all but bolted him to the bench because “you owe me a round, you mangy wolf”.

“I believe I have seen it many a time, Siri,” you laughed out, yelping slightly when Remus pinched your side from where he had his arm around you. “Hey!” you scolded him half-heartedly, point diminished by your grin.

“Cheeky minx, don’t side with the devil!” Remus conspired with you through a stage-whisper while glaring at Sirius, whose laughter only doubled in intensity.

“You can’t ask me to lie for you, del,” you replied in the same tone of voice, leaning up to kiss his cheek as if to apologise for your treachery. An apology that was wholly accepted as Remus tugged you closer into his side and allowed for the laughter around him to continue with a sigh.

Because therein lies the one exception – Remus Lupin was pathetically incapable of public displays of affection, unless they were with you.

His problem with these displayals was the insinuation behind them and the attention that was brought to him because of it. If Emmeline dances with him, leaving a scandalously little amount of room between them, he knows what she wants from him and everyone else does, too. If his current romantic partner kisses him in the hallway, it is a glimpse into something that otherwise occurs behind closed doors, a reveal of his private life that he does not enjoy. He wants that part hidden, and embarrassment flares through him like a rocket at the thought that others bear witness to it – and then the flames are stoked when they notice that he knows and has enough dignity to be embarrassed, which just fuels an eternal evil cycle.

You, however – your wonderful self he has known all his life, you who refused to ever leave his side despite his lycanthropy and subsequent grumpy, isolationist persona, you who are his absolute better half and light of his life – there was no reason that affection should be hidden. There was nothing secretive nor fragile in your relationship, it was the purest thing he had ever had the pleasure of having.

There was nothing insinuative or blasphemous about it, there was nothing to be held against him. He would hold you, hug you, even kiss your shoulder, cheek and forehead, because he and all else around knew that it meant nothing more. It was nothing out of the norm, nothing for others to point out and bring attention to. There was no glance into something hidden away, there was no line being overstepped. It was just two best friends, aware and proud of how much they meant to one another.

So Remus never had any hesitations about leaning into your touch, about seeking yours out, about lips identifying exposed skin and staying there for a moment or two. It was something he began doing before he truly knew what embarrassment entailed, it was muscle memory as much as instinct these days.

And if others did not understand it fully, that was an issue Remus for once felt no confinement to public opinion on. If people made assumptions or threw glances, it held no importance to him. Even his Marauders, Sirius especially, raised their eyebrows at your proximity when you all first met, but they understood the routine of it all quickly. That these two first years before them were a package deal in every form of the word. It was quickly accepted within your little pack, albeit fondly commented on every now and again. James had Sirius in that same unrestrained way, bodies strewn across each other at any given opportunity, so why couldn’t Remus have you? Why wouldn’t he?

Never mind that Sirius was officially brought into James and Lily's relationship at the end of last term.

“Well, James would hug anything that moved and seemed like it might need it.” Sirius had argued one night many years ago, not needing to add the and I need it.

“And isn’t that lovely for Prongs,” Remus had drawled in return. “But I need a few years to get there, and Y/N happened to be more strategic than you lot.”

“By knowing you first?”

“Precisely. Also, she’s lovelier than you.” 

It had earned him a snort and a pillow to the face, but it was accepted without further questioning. With the exceptions only occurring in a drunken babble here and there from Sirius, alone in their dorm after a party. Remus is quite certain he couldn’t string together a coherent sentence if his life depended on it in those states, and so he never took it to heart.

Remus revelled in having something of his own, someone only he understood on that level, and his heart always warmed when he thought about how lucky he was that that someone was you.

He subconsciously pulled you even closer at that thought, content and comfortable to do so whether that be around his marauders or in front of the whole Great Hall; there was nothing more to it to be embarrassed of. It was just you; just Y/N and Remus. Like always.

“You occluding yourself away from your menace of a dorm mate?” you whispered to him then, and he angled his chin down slightly with a smile to find you looking at him curiously.

“Oh, yeah,” Remus agreed with a solemn nod. “Must prepare for being locked up in a room with him all night. It’s tedious work, you know?”

“Most certainly.” You attempted to match his faux severity, but a giggle escaped you nonetheless – a beautiful one that Remus decided to mentally save for the night, should Sirius become unbearable.

Speaking of; “I take great offence to that,” Sirius proclaimed from the few strides ahead he was, pointing his finger in Remus’ direction without turning around. “Dog-like hearing, Moony, don’t think you can get away with badmouthing me here!”

“Dog-like he says,” Remus whispered to you, earning him an indignant “oi!” as Sirius finally turned around.

“Gorgeous, would you tell your worse half to knock it off?”

“I sure will,” you declared, turning your body more towards Sirius in Remus’ grasp. “Siri, sweetheart, would you knock it off?”

Within the second, Sirius’ offended expression transformed into one of giddiness. “Awe, princess, you think of me as your other half?”

“Worse half, Pads,” James interjected, looking over his shoulder bemusedly.

“Do keep up,” Remus added with a half-hearted glare.

“Irrelevant!” Sirius threw his hands up and spun around in celebration. “I have won the title of her other half, you can get lost Moons.”

Remus used his arm around your shoulders to angle you back away from Sirius. “I think not. I’ve been keeping this friendship for so long, she’ll need a lawyer to get rid of me,” he stated matter-of-factly, looking down at you at the last bit. “Capiche?” He tilted his head at you.

You hummed through a poorly-withheld smile, as if you were considering it. “Sure thing, cariad. Meet with our lawyers tomorrow after lunch?”

Remus gasped as you ripped out of his grasp and stuck your tongue out at him. Flashbacks of your younger days chasing each other down dirt roads came to his mind and widened his grin as he saw you back away from him, eyes trained on his expression. 

“Minx,” he breathed out through a laugh just before you sat off running away from him; Remus hot on your heels, laughter escaping him freely. Sirius began running with you, though he was slowed as he twirled around and hollered, surely waking the entirety of the mountaintops surrounding the castle.

James had been minding his own business for once as he engaged in quiet conversation with Lily and Pandora, but his eyes twinkled as he eyed his three running friends, exchanging a knowing look with the redhead.

“Young love,” Pandora sighed dreamily, though James could never be certain if she was looking at the loud, carefree forms before them or at something entirely different.

Remus saw you stopped running while still some dozens of metres away from the castle, still facing away from him, but arms opening to accommodate for the impending crash of his body against yours. It does something funny to his heart to think about, but he just lets it widen his smile as he did exactly as expected – let his arms loop around your waist and twirl you around as he caught up to you. 

Your out-of-breath giggles permeated into his ears as his face was tucked in between your neck and shoulder as he slowed down, laughter calming in his own chest.

“Caught you,” he whispered through his own breathlessness. “Happy now?”

You turned in his grasp, squeezing at his shoulders both to show affection and seemingly to steady yourself as your chest still heaved; Remus held you tighter to help you in the latter endeavour. “Shook off Sirius for a bit, so yeah, I am. As should you be.”

He dropped his head laughing at that, glancing behind him through his hair to see Sirius bent over, hands on his knees as James had already caught up to him and was patting his back in sympathy. Any other time of the month, Remus would likely have been right there with him, but this was a good week and you always seemed to be able to find some semblance of energy within him, even if he thought he had none.

“I take back my calling you minx, then.” He looked at you with a smile. “That was strategic.”

“Are you saying minxes can’t be strategic, Loopy?” You raised your eyebrows at him teasingly, pulling slightly out of his grasp to breathe better.

“I’m saying– don’t call me Loopy.”

Your smile became almost taunting at that, and Remus knew his comment likely only worsened the likelihood of you using that nickname now. “I just remembered how I used to call you that the other day actually,” you mused, putting on an innocent smile. “I don’t remember why I stopped, I just forgot about it. I think it might be time for a renaissance.” 

“I think I’m too out of breath for you to say things like that. I can’t chase you any further, but that deserves to be chased.”

You shoved lightly at his shoulder at that. “You’re getting too old, you’re no fun.”

“I’m super fun. Textbook definition,” Remus harrumphed, gleaning when you rolled your eyes through a burst of laughter.

“No one who references textbook definitions is fun, Moons!” James called from where the group was catching up to you two, finally within earshot. 

Sirius was practically draped across James’ shoulder, breath still coming heavy. He pointed yet another accusatory finger, this time at you. “You’ll be the death of me, dollface. Merlin’s tits.”

“Don’t blame me for your own inadequacy, gorgeous,” you quipped back. It made Remus rather proud, especially when Sirius groaned dramatically in response.

“Time to get some beauty sleep then, yeah?” James coaxed, giving Sirius’ cheek a peck as he continued effortlessly dragging him in through the entrance of the castle.

Lily hummed in agreement, poking one of her boyfriends in the side. “Yeah, Sirius seems to need it.”

“You think I’m so sexy, Red, don’t lie to yourself,” Sirius mumbled, petulantly remaining worn out over James’ shoulders.

Remus smiled at his friends, hand reaching out behind him blindly, knowing you’d find it. Surely enough, your fingers intertwined with his own and gave him a little tug to hasten his gait down the hallways.

Moving up the staircases with surprisingly little trouble, the group finally found themselves outside the portrait of the Fat Lady, ready to split up with you and Pandora heading to Ravenclaw and the rest clambering inside. 

You made your goodbyes, quick hugs and kisses on cheeks with Lily and James and a kiss to the hand from Sirius who had decided to lay down dramatically on the floor. When you turned to Remus at last, just a tad bit away from the others, he enveloped you in a warm hug, breathing you in as he settled his chin on your shoulder.

“Let me walk you?” he asked, already knowing you would say no.

“Nice try Loopy, but I’d rather you go inside to the warmth and head to bed,” you murmured into his neck. “Thank you, though.”

You always said no. He always asked, anyway. Sometimes, if he was feeling particularly protective or otherwise missed you too much, he’d go with you anyway. Today he decided to respect your wishes.

“Tell me again why you had to be an independent person and get sorted into your own house?” he grumbled against you, smiling when he felt your chest rumbling beneath him. That same smile softened when your grip on him grew just the slightest bit tighter.

“Something tells me you’ll survive.” 

He tightened his hold on you in turn, one arm around your waist and the other stabilising your neck, before he spun your body around twice, twirling along the hallway. He relished in the laughter that escaped you and ensured to stamp a proper kiss to your hair before he released you back down to the floor.

“Sleep well, dove.”

“Goodnight, cariad,” you said through a soft smile, giving him and the others a small wave before turning around to where Pandora was waiting, grabbing her hand as you two all but skipped down the hallway together.

With his eyes still glued on your disappearing form, Remus nearly yelped as James’ hands came up to settle roughly on his shoulders – albeit somewhat careful of his joints – steering him through the now-opened portrait, who was rambling on with complaints about students taking up the space in front of her for too long.

“Funny that,” James started. 

Remus gave him a puzzled look. “What, Prongs?”

“Just that you danced with one Ravenclaw at the Three Broomsticks for two minutes and gained the colour and conversational skills of a tomato; but when you twirl and kiss this Ravenclaw, all you’re left with is that goofy grin of yours.” James’ comment seemed off-handed, said over his shoulder as they walked through the empty common room.

“First of all, it’s Y/N we’re talking about and not some Ravenclaw,” he started, confusion laced in his voice. In the meantime, James and Sirius kissed Lily goodbye, the latter giving her bum a light tap as she moved up the stairs to the girls’ dorms. “Secondly, it’s Y/N. She’s my best friend, and one of yours, mind you. What’s there to go all tomato for?”

“Some would argue, there is never any reason to go all tomato,” Sirius taunted, ducking the smack Remus aimed towards him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” James laughed, literally waving it off. “Just pointing out the parallel. Ironic, innit?”

“Don’t see why it would be,” Remus grumbled petulantly in return. Sirius reached up to ruffle his hair somewhat roughly before entering their dorm, where Peter was already waiting for them, tucked into bed.

“What’re we laughing about tonight, fellas?” he questioned without looking up from the magazine he was reading through. Remus was fairly certain he had seen Mary reading through that very same magazine last week.

“Oh just at Remus’ peculiarities with birds.” Sirius felt emboldened with his comment from where he was crouched behind his bed – ample distance to protect him from Remus, he surely gathered.

“So, nothing new? Nice.” Peter returned his attention to the magazine it never really left.

“Yeah, don’t worry Pete – your friends are just as big arseholes as on any other day.” Remus bent down to pat the boy on the shoulder before moving over to his own bed, between Peter and Sirius’. 

“Hey, I don’t mean to be an arsehole,” James complained with almost a full pout across his lips within a second of Remus’ comment. “We’re just having a bit of fun psychoanalysing you, s’all.”

“Which, of course, is a generally accepted polite thing to do.” Remus nodded as if he was gravely understanding, only flipping James off when the other boy didn’t catch his sarcasm.

“No, Remmy, what would be rude is to point out how you are desperately–” Sirius began with taunting mirth plastered all over his face, but he was cut off as James all but jumped on him to cover his mouth. 

The black haired boy looked up at his boyfriend first with some offence and then a look Remus didn’t want to witness.

“How about we leave poor Moony alone for the night, huh baby?” James questioned, moving his hand away from Sirius’ mouth as the other boy nodded almost dumbly, still staring up at him.

“Who’s turning red now?” Remus whispered to himself as he looked through his trunk for his pyjamas. He barely had the reflexes to catch the pillow Sirius hurled at him, tossing it back with a loud laugh that was quickly reciprocated by his best mates.

As if a miracle had been awarded them by some forgiving gods, the boys’ dorm room quieted down fairly quickly after that. Sirius and James settled in Sirius’ bed for the night, barely fitting themselves onto the mattress that was almost too small for one boy, let alone two. Once in each other’s arms, however, it was an easy thing to drift off. Peter was asleep before the other three had even brushed their teeth.

Remus was the only one tossing. Not unusual, but he couldn’t really understand why that was tonight. 

His sleep cycle often closely followed the moon’s, and he was almost two weeks away from the full moon, a perfectly decent time for falling and staying asleep. Tonight, though, his body was once more fighting him. He kept replaying the night, the conversations, the interactions, trying to pin his unrest on something. He supposed that dance with Vance had been unexpected and the adrenaline spike of all the attention following it might still linger and make sleep evade him. 

Despite what his dismay for public romantic displays might indicate, Remus was no prude. As a matter of fact, just as Sirius had before he was locked down, Remus was no stranger to making his rounds at the occasional common room party. Rarer was it that he shagged anyone back home, as he spent most of his time with you, but it had happened here and there too. Vance and him had even spent a night together once at a quidditch afterparty, but he had no significant interest in her apart from a mutually understood night of fun. He never really did, even when his partners were great in all capacities. It just didn’t seem that romance was an object for Remus – and good riddance, if the struggles of dealing with it so far was any sign.

Perhaps that was it then, dancing with Vance had rehashed something for him. Though the idea didn’t settle well in his bones, Remus also knew that he would never settle if he didn’t give his mind an excuse for his sudden restlessness.

After checking the time with a hefty sigh, he decided to throw in the towel and took a small sip of a sleeping draught potion he had at the ready in his bedside table at all times. If sleep would not come to him, he would hunt it down damn it. His friends’ playful mockery and a dance he didn’t even want to partake in would not cause him any more torment.

As Remus slipped into the land of dreams, he may come to regret that sentiment, if but a bit.

There are warm bodies pressed uncomfortably close to him – the warmest of which has her arms around his neck, one hand scraping through his hair. It should feel good, Remus enjoys when his hair is played with, but this feels sharp enough to draw blood. Emmeline’s laugh is all he can make out over the chatter and stomping around him, but it feels wrong, scratchy like a record player. Her fingers on him are cold, unlike anything else in the room.

It is spinning. The room, that is. Remus is unfocused, as if he had been shooting vodka and not butterbeer earlier. He can’t quite make out any of his friends, or anyone really, Emmeline’s features bleeding out into the background.

For some reason his heart is pounding the way it does before his transformation. Everything feels painfully wrong and he is aware of every inch of his body where Emmeline is touching him.

She is still laughing and Remus is sure it would make his ears bleed, which only confuses him further because Emmeline is truly a nice girl. Just not one he wants to feel flush against himself at the moment.

He reaches a hand up to touch his ear – realising only now that his arms are hanging limply by his sides, the only static thing in the otherwise spinning room – and when he retracts his hand to look at it, his fingers are coated with blood.

His breathing grows ragged as he feels the blood running down the side of his neck. He has half a mind to tell Emmeline, to shout for help. He doesn’t. Nothing comes out when he tries to open his mouth, all control of his body ripped from his grasp.

With no warning he realises the wetness on his neck is not blood, but someone’s open mouth smearing kisses down it with reckless abandon. His stomach ties in knots and he wants to push Emmeline off of him, still to no avail.

Her grip on him tightens painfully, and Remus swears he feels a bone break. He would know.

The flurry behind her has just become a swirl of colours and sounds to him and Remus feels himself drowning in a moment he desperately wants away from. He shuts his eyes hard, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself.

He feels a warmth in his chest, starkly different from the heat around him, that slowly, like thawing ice, begins to spread throughout him. He hums the melody you sang to him during his first ever panic attack, the sweet one that always lulls him to sleep, and the warmth spreads faster.

With his eyes still screwed shut, Remus begins to regain the feeling in his legs first, noticing them swaying back and forth to some calmer, unknown rhythm.

The feeling in his hand returns too, and it’s clasped around someone else's. Theirs is also warm, light and fits much better in his, though he’s not quite sure what he’s comparing it to.

The front of his body is warmer than the back as he’s pressed up against someone, swaying with them in a slow dance that would never have worked in the middle of Three Broomsticks. It flows with his soul.

At last, Remus can hear again, as if coming up from water. He hears that it was not him humming, but rather a soft figure tucked under his chin, humming the vibrations of the melody against the side of his neck.

When he tightens his arms instinctively, he does not need to open his eyes to know it is you.

He does anyway, looking down at you, standing in his arms, swaying together in an empty Gryffindor common room. There is a lazy smile on your lips as you look up at him, cheek against his chest, eyes twinkling like the starlight.

Remus feels right. Remus feels good. His thoughts are honey, sweet but slow, coating over any coherent reactions he might have to standing here with you like this. He escaped and he is with you and all is right once more.

Have you danced like this before? Did it feel like this then?

You seem unpuzzled, relaxed. The warmth settles in Remus for good.

“Hey handsome,” you whispered, as if you were sharing a secret with him before angling your face more up towards his.

Remus is not in charge of his body when his neck dips down and lets his lips meet yours halfway, casual and expectantly, a habit as much as a wish. You taste like yourself. You smell like yourself. Remus is surrounded by you, cornered by your smile against his lips.

You pull back all too quickly, furrowing your brows at him. Dream-Remus has no hesitation of removing the hand from around your back to thumb at the furrow, brushing away any negative thoughts from you. He kisses the spot between your eyebrows.

Everything is right.

When his eyes meet yours again, the concerned look in them has not changed. You reach a tentative hand up to his cheek, thumb swiping over his cheekbone as you hold him with what he irrevocably knows to be love. 

“It’s time to wake up, cariad,” you said with a small sad smile.

The last thing Remus remembers is the feeling of the floor disappearing beneath him.

Remus sat up with a gasp, and for a rare moment in time he was speechless.

He was not a stranger to invasive, questionable or downright spiritual dreams, a side effect of both his connection with the moon and the tons of potions he has taken over the years. Usually, he is present in his dreams and acts as his own little commentator during and after them, narrating what happens and what he thinks of it.

It was not uncommon for him to think “I think I will remember this one” as the final thought in a dream. Or when he wakes up in tears, his first thought was often “that was a bit dramatic of you, calm down”.

Now, he had nothing. Now, he was speechless.

Worse yet, usually when he wakes up with a jolt, it is in the middle of the night – but now, as his senses began to trickle back in, he could hear the commotion around him that only could mean the boys are at various stages in the process of getting ready.

Remus Lupin had just had a life-altering, earth-shattering dream, and James Fleamont Potter was repeatedly knocking his knee into his nightstand as he jumped around while tying his shoes on, instead of sitting down to do it like a normal person would.

He thought James was saying something, and maybe even to Remus specifically, but he could still hear the blood rushing through his head. Beneath that again, he could hear your humming. 

With a groan, Remus let himself topple over from his sitting position to land face-first into his duvet.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What the fuck?

“Oi!” Remus finally heard, as what felt like a rolled up pair of socks hit his head. “What in Godrick’s name has gotten into you, mate? You good?” It was Sirius voice calling, seemingly from across the room.

Remus just groaned in reply. His eyes were wide open as he stared directly into his sheets, feeling both freezing cold and like his brain was slowed by a fever.

“You okay, Moons?” Peter’s voice came gentler from beside him. Remus thought his hand might be hovering near him, as if he was considering consolingly patting him but was unsure if he should.

Another groan.

“Okay, what about this: groan once if this is Moony mooning over something and twice if you’re in actual crisis,” James suggested, not unkindly.

A singular groan, though it sure did feel like two.

“Groan once if you’re a prick and twice if you’re insufferable,” Sirius felt the need to comment.

Instead of making any further sounds, Remus wrangled his arm from beneath the blanket to show Sirius how he felt about him in the moment with a gesture.

“Fantastic!” James exclaimed. “You have class in 35 minutes, Moons, and breakfast now, so best get a move on.” Remus heard the telltale sound of James leaving – as in, James’ heavy footsteps moving across the floor and Sirius scrambling like a dog to follow after him. At the complete lack of sounds in the rooms after that, he assumed Peter moused after them as well.

At last Remus sat up with a sigh and stared emptily in front of him, mind moving too fast for him to catch a thought but too slow for him to properly process anything.

What does this mean? 

Except Remus could no longer deny that he knew what it meant. That the instant your humming caressed his ears, he knew what it meant. That his subconsciousness wanted to replace a girl who saw him as a romantic prospect in a place Remus felt queasy in with you in a place he considered home. That is no coincidence.

And that when you kissed him–

Except you did not kiss him. Remus shook his head at that, as if the thoughts could just tumble out of his ears. You did not kiss him and he did not kiss you. Because this was a dream, it was not real and Remus must just be really, really unwell.

He felt unwell, but not in the way he was trying to convince himself.

Taking one deep breath, Remus looked to the awning of their little dormitory and shot out a silent prayer for any higher power to listen.

Put me back together, I cannot fall apart like this.

Bury this back down deep, I cannot feel like this.

It was going to be a long day.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

By the time Remus had made it to the entryway to the Great Hall, feeling frazzled and less put together than he had an excuse to, he saw his group of friends making their way out.

“Rem!” It was you who caught sight of him first, and immediately beelined towards him, the others following closely behind, wearing varying degrees of concern and confusion as they looked him up and down.

Your face was by far the most concerned, as you immediately brought your left hand up to cup his cheek. “Are you alright, cariad?”

For the first time in your almost two decades of friendship, Remus was painfully aware of your physical proximity.

He always knew, of course, but it never really registered with him – it was completely natural. Right now, nothing about him felt natural. You stood flush with him and he felt you against him like a fire, skin singeing beneath his clothes. Your eyes seemed so big looking into his that he could get lost in them, his only internal monologue being a dreamy sigh and a long string of curse words at the absolute madhouse chaos that his mind was becoming. As he looked at you, it was like he could see his version of you from his dream as well, how you looked at him with so much love and admiration, how your lips inched closer to his.

“Mate?” Remus realised then, that he had been staring at you for far too long, not answering your question, to the point where James had to try to catch his attention.

“I– uh,” Remus sputtered, eyes flickering wildly all over your face, panic rising in his chest as he realised he could not think clearly with you so close.

He took a step back without thinking, just barely out of your grasp but still close, and shook his head. “Sorry, yeah, no, yes, I just feel a bit… off today.”

The furrow between your brows deepend, and once more his mind flashed back to his dream. His hand twitched. It seemed like you weren’t even aware of it when you took a step closer, to be back by his side, reaching your wrist up to place it on his forehead to feel his temperature. “You’re feeling poorly?” you whispered so quietly and so lovingly Remus thought he might faint.

Was it always like this? It was always like this. Why was he freaking out about it then? He was freaking out. What the fuck was wrong with him?

With horror, Remus realised that a slight blush was creeping up his neck, and he fought hell to keep it down as he cleared his throat. “Just a little, uh, dove, it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Do you want to go lay down?” You began what he knew would be a string of suggestions for things to do to make him feel better, and he could not stand watching you be so concerned when he was lying to you.

Almost like a flinch, he pulled back out of your arms – properly this time, taking several strides backwards away from the group. It barely registered with him that James and Sirius were looking at him with some confused amusement while Lily looked sympathetic.

“I, erm, will be fine, yeah? Nothing to worry about.” Without properly looking, he reached an arm out to grab Peter by the shoulder and all but manhandled him to his side. “Peter and I have Herbology now, but uh, I’ll catch you later?”

Remus hated how everything he said sounded like a question, like he was running a lie by you for you to confirm if it was believable. Remus hated that he couldn’t tear his gaze away from your face for more than a few seconds and most of all he hated that he was spiraling under the weight of your gaze in turn. A horrible combination.

“Take care, Rem,” you whispered as he all but ran away from you, hauling Peter along.

You stood looking after him for a moment, only turning your head when you felt Lily’s reassuring hand on your shoulder to find a small smile on her face.

“What in the buggering hell was that?” Sirius questioned, looking mostly at you for an answer.

“I don’t know,” you said, honestly. Had you known, you might still not have told him, though, if you thought Remus wouldn’t want you to. “I usually always know about his moods before they come, but this has me stumped,” you murmured, mostly to yourself.

“He woke up weirdly,” James mused, rubbing his hand across his chin. “I guess we’ll just see where the day goes, yeah?”

The four of you nodded at each other, but you still gnawed on your lip in concern, glancing over your shoulder to where he disappeared. 

Whatever it was, you hoped he would come talk with you about it when he was ready.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Remus only had one hour to compose himself during Herbology before he had Charms with you. Sharing most of his classes with you was something he had always considered a blessing, and while that sentiment would likely never fade, it was also causing him some distress as he almost toppled the work desk with his jittering.

Peter didn’t question him, but Remus’ obvious nerves were apparently contagious for the anxious boy who jittered right along with him, casting him the occasional glance.

Letting his elbows fall heavily on the desk, Remus put his head in his hands and ignored the instructions Professor Sprout was walking them through – he would let Peter pick up the slack for once and then subsequently accept the lower marks. Right now, Remus had to think and get his shit together.

He breathed his way through some panic exercises and pictured you in his mind. It almost brought a smile to his lips in an instant and for the first time, he let the realisation of how irrevocably wrecked for you he was.

Has it always been like this? Why have I never put this into words before? How can I revert back?

In that moment, Remus decided two things. Firstly, there was no possibility of you returning his feelings nor would he ever expect you to. It was true that you accepted and loved him in a way he never could quite believe himself deserving of, but that in itself is testament that it couldn’t be any more. What you gave him was already too much, it would be unthinkable for you to harbour even deeper feelings for him.

Second, and most importantly, he could not lose you. Remus has made many mistakes in his time, but he could not live with himself if he lost you. It would be too much. Because regardless of the fact that he now knew he was– that he now knew what he knew, the friendship between you was the most important thing. It was Remus and Y/N, right?

He could not be weird and sputtering, he could not make you uncomfortable. Meaning, he could not withdraw from you despite his instinct to run and hide. Shame burned within him at the thought that even if he could withdraw he didn’t know if he could fight his want not to. You were muscle memory.

Remus opened his eyes and slowly dragged his palms down his face in resolution. He would have to act as if nothing was wrong, and he would have to lie through his bloody teeth to explain away whatever bodily reactions he has.

If he starts stammering, he will have to shut up and lie that he is tired. If he becomes an embarrassing shade of auburn, he will have to cough and lie that he might be coming down with a fever. If he shakes, it is because of lack of sleep. If he, Merlin forbids, cries, he will have to claim he must be coming down with some odd moonsickness. You will surely follow him to Madam Pomfrey and maybe it will be easier when you’re alone.

Or maybe it will be worse.

No matter which it was, Remus would have to soldier it, for your sake. You did not deserve his imposing infatuation, but you also did not deserve to lose what you thought to be a loyal friend.

When him and Peter packed up the barely-used desk and mumbled a goodbye to a disapproving Sprout in the door, Remus made it his mission to focus on his breathing again as he almost ran down the hallways to where your friend group always met up outside the Charms classroom.

Be normal, be normal, be normal.

Your eyes found him the second he rounded the final corner, almost as if you had been watching it, waiting for him. A beautiful smile lit up on your face as soon as you saw him, albeit a bit dampened by the worry in your eyes – he simultaneously wanted desperately to soothe you while also berating himself for it being there. His fault.

“Hey dovey.” He forced his words to be casual, his smile to be measured as he strode up beside you. 

This is where he is supposed to drag you into a sideways hug, squeezing your hips while dropping a kiss on the top of your head, causing Sirius to make some quip about “you were literally just gone an hour. He stood beside you perhaps a beat too long before he began to do so with shaking hands, and he felt your burning look as you studied him. Remus made it all the way up to where he would kiss your head before he chickened out due to the tornado screaming in his stomach.

“Hi, Rem,” you all but whispered, your words just for him. You opened your mouth to say more, but he was afraid of what it would be.

“Waited long?” he asked to distract you from it.

“Nah,” you said and leaned further into his side. “But I’m glad you’re here now. How’re you feeling?”

At that, he saw Peter, Sirius, James and Lily – who had been stuck in their own little world – look up and try to hear what he has to say. Remus crumbled under their watchful gazes, knowing they knew him well enough to pick apart his every little reaction. He cleared his throat.

“I don’t really know,” he settled for. “My head’s murky, didn’t sleep well.”

You made a soft cooing sound and started rubbing circles on the side of his hip from where your arms were circled around him. It knocked a wave of dizziness into him that made him want to take a step back to lean against the cold stone wall behind you. In replacement he settled for holding onto you tighter; it only made it worse.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go lay down? Merlin knows we won’t be missing out on anything with the way Flitwick rambles away any sense he might have.”

This is where Remus would laugh heartily at your obvious disdain for the professor that he never truly understood. Instead, his mind zeroed in on one word you said.

We. We, we, we, we.

Circe’s tits, did he want to take you up on that.

He swallowed, acutely aware that you must have heard the sound when stood so close to him, though you didn’t give away any reaction. To buy himself a moment to collect his thoughts, Remus finally dared tilt his chin downwards to kiss the top of your head. It might have been too slow, too tentative, but his heart was beating so fast the rest of his body felt too slowed down in comparison. He hoped you thought the kiss was a thank you for caring and not the nervous stall it was. He hoped he wouldn’t be eternally damned for breathing in the scent of you.

“I’m quite alright, dove,” he murmured instead, furiously avoiding the surely questioning gazes of his other friends. “Thank you, though.”

You grumbled some but didn’t push him on it. He silently thanked you for that, too.

His throat was too parched to partake in the silent banter amongst his friends as you walked into Charms, too focused on where your bodies brushed as you walked, too deafened by the sound of your laughter.

You sat down in your regular spots, you and Remus side by side in the front, with Sirius and James behind you and Lily and Mary to your right. This was normal, this was alright. Flitwick droned on about the theoretics and debates around the charms you learned last lesson, it went in one ear and out the other.

Absentmindedly, you had grabbed Remus’ hand lightly between yours and were tracing soothing circles along his wrist and palm. You meant so well, and this would have cured likely any other ailment Remus struggled with, but right now there were fireworks going off in his head.

Taking advantage of the notice Dumbledore had given all of his professors to not call Remus out on sleeping in class, he folded his arms and laid his head down on them, carefully not to take his hand away from you. If he could shield his face, he could probably talk himself down before class ended.

In the solitude of his arms, he could picture it was just the two of you, sitting in the treehouse you built between your houses as children. If he focused enough, he could smell the apples that grew around him and feel the rough wood beneath his stomach. There, your hand would still be in his, maybe even your cheek on his chest, and it would be alright. It would all be alright because it was just you, and Remus could play dumb and he would never have to realise his feelings and fuck himself over.

It almost worked. Until he was interrupted.

“Psst! L/N?” The whisper was laced with a laughter Remus knew too well and did not care for.

You clearly ignored it – Remus could practically see the eye roll you surely threw his way – but that wasn’t enough to stop his theatrics.

“L/N!” Barty called once more from a couple seats behind you to your right, voice threatening to alert Flitwick to your inattention. “What’s wrong with your dog?”

“What?” you whispered back in equal parts confusion and irritation.

“Your puppy, Lupin,” Barty said, as if it was obvious. Unfortunately, Remus could picture his eye roll too, though his stomach was turning for a wholly different reason. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Remus is quite alright, Junior,” you hissed back, hand tightening on Remus’ at the same time as he loosened it. “And don’t call him a dog.”

Remus slowly lifted his head from his arms and took back his hands to wipe harshly at his face, still not looking towards Junior who barked a low laugh.

“Follows you around like one. Wouldn’t surprise me if you had some invisible leash going on–” Barty quipped, cutting himself off before you could respond and turning to Evan Rosier sitting beside him. “Oooooh, an invisible leash is a marvellous idea, Rosie.”

It was clear you had lost his attention, but Remus’ face still burned painfully as he shifted in his seat. With a harrumphing sound, you turned to look at him. He didn’t meet your eye, couldn’t.

“Ignore him.” Remus always marvelled at how you manage to convey your frustration and care at the same time.

He just hummed in the affirmative, still wiping a bit harshly at his face. If he treated it harshly enough, could he blame his violent flush on it?

“Cariad,” you mumbled, gently taking his hands away from his face, clearly spotting his efforts.

He saw your furrowed eyebrows looking at him, and that was the end of what he could take for the lesson. As you opened your mouth, surely to inquire about how he is, like the beautifully kind person he knows you to be, he pushed his chair backwards.

“I think I should probably listen to you and go lay down, dove,” he murmured, avoiding your gaze. Before you could shoot in and say you would come with him, he continued. “Can you please take notes for me in Transfiguration after this?” 

An indirect rejection, a plea for isolation. He didn’t look at your face as he gathered his things, waiting for you to respond instead.

“Sure, if that’s what you want,” you said carefully.

What I want is you.

“Yes, please.” Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward and pressed a parting goodbye kiss to your cheek, tradition. “Thank you, love.”

Then he was sneaking his way out around the desks, barely catching a murmured voice he knew to be Sirius’, likely leaning forward to ask you about him. His lips singed.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Remus hid away in his room for two hours, actually being truthful and trying to get a nap in. The dorm room felt serendipitous, being swept up in rare silence and a grace of darkness as he trickled in and out of consciousness. If he dreamed more of you, he would not admit it.

Any semblance of reprieve he might have chased down was ripped away from him by the creaking of the door and the wall of sound that followed his three favourite boys who always got on his last three nerves.

“Oi, Moons!” Sirius exclaimed, far too cheerily. “You know the rules!”

Remus propped his head up on his elbow from where he was sprawled on his stomach, looking blearily at the three figures as they situated themselves within the dorm. “The rule to not wake a sleeping sod? Yes, I’m the only one who knows that rule it seems.”

Sirius took off his sweater as he discarded his uniform and used it to swat at Remus. “Nope! No wallowing on your own. Sharing is caring.”

“‘M not wallowing,” Remus grumbled as he let his head fall back into his pillow.

Letting his guard down was undoubtedly a mistake because the second Sirius was out of sight, he had the audacity to jump into Remus’ bed, nearly flinging him off from the impact. Both Sirius and James were laughing boisterously as Sirius collapsed on top of Remus and ruffled his hair when he tried to shove him off. “Not anymore, no, we won’t let you.” 

Remus hated that he loved them.

“Precisely,” James added as he pointed at Remus from where he was changing into his non-uniform clothes as well. “So either speak your mind or perk up, buttercup.”

Remus groaned but let Sirius drag him up into a sitting position. “Can a poor lycanthrope not have one off day without you lot getting your knickers in a twist?” Despite his best efforts, there was no ire in his voice.

“Nope!” James said, popping the p. “Not on our watch.”

“Life is simply miserable without our Moony,” Sirius said, clutching his chest as if he was ailing. “And do you have any idea how weird it is to see your sweetheart without you by her side? It’s like watching a cut up picture.”

All humour that had been creeping into Remus’ expression was washed away in and instant as he swallowed harshly, suddenly averting his gaze from Sirius. Instead, James caught it, who looked at him with big eyes behind his glasses, cocking his head to the side. He looked far too much like the stag he is, before his mouth opened in a small gasp. “Oh,” he whispered softly.

Remus’ heart was beating painfully hard at the look of realisation that crossed his face, turning back to Sirius who had a similar knowing, almost pitying look in his eyes. No, no, no, no.

“I’ll be fine, you, erm, won’t have to live without me much longer,” Remus tried to volley back, just a few seconds too late, tongue feeling heavy at being found out.

If his best mates could see through him that quickly, then you probably already had. He had half a mind to take you up to the Astronomy Tower like old times, so he could apologise and then jump off as an act of redemption.

Sirius gave his shoulder a rough squeeze, shaking him a little as if he knew what was going through his mind. “Fantastic. Then you’ll join us for our free periods, yeah? And the party later tonight?”

Still somewhat sputtering, Remus’ eyes widened to an extent he was sure was comedic. “The pa– the party?”

James smiled at him. “Yeah, Moons. Gryffindor half-term party? That we have talked about all week?”

“Merlin, maybe Pomfrey needs to go easy on the potions she gives you,” Sirius teased, getting up to finish changing.

“Or she could give me more,” Remus whispered hopefully, earning him a round of chuckles. 

“You’ll be fine, Rem,” James said, with an undertone Remus did not care for. “If you’re still feeling… off throughout the day and night, you can always snuggle up with a book and ignore us hooligans.” Then, almost as if he was testing the waters. “I’m sure Y/N would love to join you.”

Remus didn’t deign any of that with a response, but he suddenly thought he should get out of his bed so his face didn’t seem so red in contrast with the white sheets.

“I have some essays to knock out, so yeah, I’ll join you to study,” Remus relented. He opened his own trunk to get changed, but decided to half-ass it and just take off his tie and replace his uniform wool with one of his own patterned jumpers.

“And for the party later!” Sirius corrected, ensuring Remus didn’t think he could back out.

“Sure, sure.” He ruffled his own hair so it was Remus-messy and not Sirius-messed-up-my-hair-messy. “Let’s just go.”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Considering the extent to which he could fuck this up for himself, Remus reckoned he had been doing fairly good keeping his shit together throughout the day.

If he mentally cursed more than normal, contemplated the murder of each one of his friends including himself and generally couldn’t breathe, well, that was merely part of it.

The whole lot had shacked up in the library for the triple free periods you had back to back on Fridays. While you doted concernedly over him for the first thirty minutes, you eased up once you seemed to decide that this wasn’t Remus shoving down some lycanthropy-struggles and avoiding support and help. 

As always, the two of you sat in the love seat, your legs sprawled over his lap as you read through your textbooks in the oddest positions. This was usually something he might chide you for – “your neck will hurt if you hang over the edge like that, love” – but today he buried his face into his textbooks with all his might to not seem like he was aware of your body. He was, of course, you burned over his skin and lit up his heart, and Circe’s tits was he the stupidest sod in the whole castle.

Nonetheless, he made it through all three hours, engaging in comforting banter and low laughs with his best mates. When you teamed up with him to mess with Sirius, he at least knew that you weren’t upset with him in any way, even though he was being a lunatic today, even though he most definitely would have deserved it.

What Remus knew would be his breaking point was the Gryffindor party.

It was a laid back event, a party thrown for all of Gryffindor, though it was mostly the upper years who were encouraged to attend. They arranged it halfway through every term to celebrate making it through and engaging with each other. Meaning, most people didn’t get shitfaced but there was some good bubbling energy maintained throughout the whole night.

You and Remus had a tradition for how you dealt with parties – just as you had a tradition for pretty much everything, he had come to notice. Gods, he lov– Stop it.

Neither one of you were necessarily fond of large crowds, but you both were incredibly loyal and fond of your friends and wanted to spend time with them. Thus, you attended the parties, but you always did so together. The more uncomfortable you got, the closer you would get to each other, and if one ever needed a break, they would tap the other three times and they would make up an excuse to usher them out of there.

It had never felt so unnerving to be so known.

Throughout the whole party he had been jittery, head rushing with thoughts. He desperately tried not to take in your outfit and then he desperately tried not to read into it when you seemed disappointed he didn’t compliment you for it like he usually did. Why did he have to be such a sweet best friend normally? Remus can’t keep up with himself.

It did not help him in the slightest that others around the party seemed to focus on your outfit much more openly than he could dare. It made him gravitate even closer to you, tighten his hand on his hip, momentarily rest his chin on the top of your head – and then his actions made him want to kick himself. Possessiveness was the last thing he could be engaging with when he was already betraying you in such a manner. 

Leave it to Remus to fuck up something beautiful.

To say you didn’t seem to notice that he was troubled would be taking it too far, but at least you didn’t seem to notice why. You kept him close to your side and would at random points stroke his back soothingly. He wondered if you just thought he was uncomfortable with the party.

You were chatting with Pandora by the drinks table when Barty and Evan strolled up to you both with cheshire cat grins.

“There he is, back on his leash,” Junior said through a menacing laugh, ignoring Evan’s slight elbow to his side. “Feeling better, darling?”

“What brings you to the lions' den, Junior?” Remus asked carefully to divert the topic.

“Well. Y/N’s going so Pandora’s going so Evan’s going, and thus–” he did a small flourishing spin “– I’m going.”

“You’re impossible,” Evan murmured, while Pandora just smiled happily. 

“Is he feeling better, then?” Barty asked once more, this time looking at you.

“No, actually,” you said with a small smile Remus knew not to be genuine. “He is absolutely devastated you’re not in the Slytherin common room right now. He had big plans for you there, you know.”

Remus tried to choke down his laugh as Barty looked torn between glee and irritation. Somehow he made both work. “Sorry to soil your plans then, Lupin. Better luck next time.”

Then he stalked off in almost a hurry and Remus couldn’t help but hope he was going to Slytherin to check if you were telling the truth. 

He looked down at where you were standing beside him and squeezed your shoulder lightly. “You really are a minx,” he whispered conspiratorially.

That turned out to be his undoing. You turned your head to the side to look up at him with mirth playing around in your enamouring eyes, a soft tilt to the corner of your mouth. And your face was oh so painfully close to his.

Remus became acutely aware that he could easily lean in and catch your smile with his. That the air he was breathing had been close to you in some of the only ways he had not yet. That he must look like your boyfriend when you’re standing essentially pressed up against each other like this.

That he most certainly has been looking at your lips for far too long.

When he flicks his gaze back up, he sees a slight furrow between your brows again as you seem to take in his reaction, and suddenly he goes from having butterflies in his stomach to needing to throw them all up. He took a sudden staggering step backwards, almost crashing into James who was engaging in some animated discussion with Marlene.

“I, uh,” Remus said and dear Godrick he was stammering. “I’ll get us some drinks and we can sit down, yeah?” He didn’t wait for you to respond, instead spinning his back to you and hoping you pick up conversation with Pandora again.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Don’t be a bloody arse.

He hoped he had steadied himself enough by the time he plopped down in his favourite grandfather chair near the fire. He placed both of your drinks on the table in front of him, vowing to touch his as minimally as possible to make sure he keeps whatever wits he has left with him.

A dumb smile takes over his face as his breathing quickens when he sees you make your way over to the seating area, after having listened to his desperate silent plea and finished your conversation with Pandora. Pushing his luck, he shoots another silent prayer that it will be smooth sailing from here, which is apparently promptly ignored as you happily sit down in his lap.

Fuck.

This, he reminds himself, is also normal for the two of you. Especially at parties, especially if you have reason to believe he is unsteady in any sense of the word, which he most certainly has given you plenty of reason to believe. 

You give him some form of greeting he can’t quite catch and isn’t sure if he reciprocated as you settle down, putting majority of your weight on his right thigh as you lean your body sideways against his. One of your arms snuck around his shoulders, fingers winding up playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, while the other is stabilising yourself on his knee. Majority of your close friends had followed your lead by sitting down in the small gathering, chattering amongst themselves. He was half-aware that you were rambling on about something to him, something he probably really wanted to listen to, but it felt like his head was underwater.

Unsure of what else to do, he lowered his face into your shoulder and took deep breaths there.

You seemed wholly unbothered, fingers continuing in his hair as your soothing voice carried him through what he feared might become a panic attack. He was almost there, when the cocoon you two had in your chair was burst by the presence of your other friends.

“You alright there, Moons? You’re not going to go all vampire on poor Y/N?” Sirius’ tone was lighthearted and teasing, but Remus felt as if he might actually die.

“Oh, he’s quite alright,” you answered for him with a smile before he could embarrass himself, immediately switching over to engage in conversation with the friends sitting closest to you. Your hand on his knee squeezed reassuringly.

Fuck, how could he not love you?

He loved you.

Remus almost had to fight crying as he hid in the crook of his neck, overwhelmed by his own emotions and the surely watchful gazes of those around him – the latter of which was why he couldn’t. 

With a deep breath he let his desire win for just one second and pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder before emerging from his hiding place. He shifted you carefully to be more comfortable, so that your back was against him and he could rest his head on the shoulder he just kissed.

He did fairly good, partaking in conversation, engaging with the others, albeit more quietly and less than usual. He laughed and he smiled and you were so soft against him, as if you had melted. Remus was in heaven while being tortured.

Marlene wolf whistled quietly from where she was sat on the floor, eyeing Remus with mirth. Though he still did not know why, he was already turning red, the tips of his ears burning.

“Hi, Remmy.” He heard the soft voice say beside him and he turned his head to see Emmeline giving him a somewhat sly smile. “The dance floor’s picking up. Want to go for another round?”

Remus’ stomach churned. Emmeline was such a sweet girl and he never could say no to her, the only thing that felt worse than the embarrassment from his friends’ teasing was the thought of embarrassing her – though Remus was sure even thinking like that made him into an even bigger arse.

Sirius and James had told him multiple times that he could say no. As had you, reminding him how important it was to have boundaries, even while you were sitting practically on top of him at the time. He just could never bring himself to.

Yet his mouth seemed to move on its own accord before he could think, arms tightening around you. “No, not tonight Emmeline, sorry. Knock yourself out, though.” He tried to give her a warm smile, but his movements seemed to be outside of his control at the moment, breath sucked from his lungs.

He realised with a sting that he should have given her more credit all along when she beams back at him. “No worries, enjoy your night!” she cheered before twirling towards the dance floor herself.

Remus let out a shaky breath and turned to his friends who were almost staring him down. James’ mouth was even open in shock, which he thought was a bit dramatic.

“Hold on, what just happened?” Sirius guffawed. “Has our little Moony learned to say no?”

Remus flushed even further. “Shut up, Pads.”

“Don’t think I will,” his mate replied with a wolfish grin turning to look to the others for support. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

“What’s inspired this change in you?” Mary asked thoughtfully, propping her head into her hands as if she was settling in for a lengthy response.

All eyes were back on Remus and he felt like the mask he had been clinging to all day was crumbling. The nerves that shot through him like lightning now was not his usual humiliation from being in a charged spotlight – no, this was fear. Genuine fear that if he didn’t get his head screwed back on within two seconds, he might say something too revealing, or his face would do it without him having to open his mouth. That his fiery ears would somehow spell out I am in love with my very best friend and I realised it too late and am making it everybody else’s problem. He had no idea what to do.

In his time of despair, with Mary’s big eyes staring up at him, Marlene and Lily already snickering between them and Sirius raising an expecting brow, his instincts knew of only one way out.

His finger on your hip lifted. Tap, tap, tap.

Almost as if a switch had gone off, you made a soft gasp and turned to look at him in his lap. “Gods, Rem, speaking of Emmeline, I totally forgot our gift for Sirius in my dorm room in Ravenclaw!” you exclaimed, putting your all into the act. Your excuse seemed to be a good one as Sirius’ head immediately picked up, not unlike that of a dog’s if you said the word ‘treat’ around them. “We have to go get it before the party’s over.”

You elegantly hopped up and out of his lap, dragging him behind him with a grip on his elbow. Remus stumbled and scrambled behind you, tossing a sorry don’t know what that’s about look to the others over his shoulder. He barely caught sight of what he could only classify as a knowing exchange of smiles between James and Lily.

Before he could truly process your rescue mission, he was standing outside in the cool hallway breathing heavily, portrait closed behind him. 

Before him, you stood with your hands on your hips, scanning his face thoroughly, making him almost cower beneath your gaze. You seemed to make up your mind about something as you took his hand once more and walked with him down the hall in silence, rounding the corners until you reached one of the deep windowsills, the kind the two of you would always sit in and read. 

You jumped to lift yourself into it and once you were sat with one hand on each side of your body, you levelled him with a look.

“Okay, spill,” you said, directly but not unkindly. “What is going on with you?”

Remus did not think this through. He needed help and so he called upon you for it like he always does, not thinking to consider that that might very well make this worse for him.

“It’s…” he began, picking at straws in his mind for an excuse. “It’s nothing, dove. Really.” 

“When’s my birthday?” you asked then, to his surprise. He furrowed his brows at you and told you the date. You smiled a bit smugly. “Exactly. So you know I wasn’t born yesterday.”

He genuinely laughed at that, even if it was at his expense. He let his body do as it wished and took a small step closer to you. Not enough for your bodies to touch, but enough to feel like he was in your space. Safe, even in his panic.

“Remus,” you said softly, painfully gently. You rarely used his first name, and now when you did, it was laced with an undertone he couldn’t stomach. It was beginning to sound a bit like hurt. “What is going on with you? Why… why are you acting this way towards me?”

Because you are the one thing I have never had to question and now I’m questioning everything. Because I’m a bloody prick who has one dream and ruins his life over it. Because my mind is running a mile a minute and your lips feel like magnets and I swear I am losing control in a way I only do during full moons.

“I don’t know what to do,” he ended up whimpering quietly, cowardly.

You looked around the hallway as if the answer would be written on any of the walls and moved your arms slightly to gesture around you. “About what? I can’t help you unless I know what it is, cariad.”

He scrunched his face for a moment, looking away from you. “Can we not do this? It’s nothing you can fix, dove.”

You seemed to grow even more confused at that, almost frustrated. “Why not?” He realised then that the two of you had always helped each other through everything. Being locked out must hurt. He wanted to kick himself, but he didn't know what else to do. “What’s wrong, Remus, please I just–”

Remus is besieged by the power of someone much more reckless, driven by desire to alleviate you of your confusion and him of his pain.

He cut you off with a kiss.

He took a large stride forward to slot himself in between your thighs, eliminating the space between you within a second, bringing both hands up to cup the sides of your face and bring it towards him. His eyes were shut tightly, furrow in his brows as his lips all but smashed against yours in a kiss that felt sacrificially sacred. Your lips are just as soft as in his dream, as is the small gasp that escapes you as you tense in his grasp.

Remus has never felt better and he has never felt worse.

The kiss lasts for about 10 seconds before he pulls away in even more of a flurry. His hands lost their grip on you first, hovering over your cheeks briefly, as if considering going back in before thinking better of it. He still had you captured in the kiss, hanging on to it for as long as he could deign himself, knowing it was his last opportunity to do so, all the while kicking himself over it.

Backing away, he put double the distance between you. He felt drunk, stumbling slightly as he all but scrambled away, a stinging sensation behind his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, I don't know why I did that. I didn’t mean to,” he breathed out, reeling at his own impulsivity. “That,” he said through a shaking voice as he looked anywhere but your face, “is my problem, and Y/N, I am so, so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

For the shortest second, he lets his eyes flicker quickly over your face before rushing back to stare at a statue on the wall beside you. Your face was blank, eyes wide. Your fingers were barely touching the lips he had just enclosed in his own.

You must be disgusted. You must be horrified. You must feel violated and Remus wanted nothing more than to disappear from the face of the earth and rid you of this undying problem.

He was every bit the beast you had tried to convince him he wasn’t.

“Why…” you began, voice but a whisper, before you trailed off.

Remus had to shut his eyes at that, tilting his head slightly to the side. If he breathed through his nose, he might not cry. He was sitting before the highest court he knew, and you were about to ask him to explain himself.

“Why are you sorry?”

The words floored him a little, enough to make his eyes snap open and land back on your face. You looked deeply concerned, brows tilted upwards as you seemed to take his face in. “Remus,” you whispered now that you finally had his eyes on you. “Why are you sorry?”

He shook his head in confusion, feeling every bit like the boy he was. “I shouldn’t have done that.” It was all he could get out through his hoarse voice. He also had no idea how to answer that question in a satisfactory way.

You took in a short sharp breath and then lowered yourself onto the ground to stand before him. With your hands held out in front of you, almost as if you were ready to lunge out and catch him if he was to run – an idea that was becoming increasingly enticing to him – you took a small step towards him. “Why?” There was a growing spark in your eye, dimmed only by your worried frown.

“Y/N.” He didn’t know what else to say, eyes trained on you.

“Cariad,” you replied in the same tone, and a tear slipped down his left cheek. You took another measured step towards him, enough to reach out for him if you wanted to – but of course, you wouldn’t want to, not anymore. “It’s alright.”

He felt dizzy at the lack of the scolding or disgust he had braced himself for, realising how stupid he was for even fearing that from you. No, you would reject him sweetly and kindly, and his heart would never be mended from it. That felt worse, somehow.

“It’s not,” he whispered. “Please don’t say it is.”

You smiled ruefully and took another small step towards him. He could feel the warmth eminating from you. Tentatively, you reached up a hand to wipe at the tear still sitting on his left cheek. He held his breath and fought the urge to lean into your touch, but when you pressed your palm more firmly against his cheek, he couldn’t anymore. A soft sigh escaped him and he let his eyes fall shut as your touch supported him. “It is, my sweet boy,” you whispered with an urgency that almost convinced him. “Remus, can you answer me honestly?”

His body tensed once more as his eyes fluttered open to find yours, reverent. Most parts of him were still screaming at him to run away, to shut up, to do anything but this. His heart seemed to be in charge for the moment, though, and he nodded slowly. Trusting you with his world even as he felt like a traitor in yours.

“All this, today… has it been because you have realised you’re… in love with me?” You seemed to be piecing it together as you said the words out loud, eyes carefully searching his face for his reaction.

Another tear slipped down his cheek, and you quickly caught it with your other thumb, both hands now cradling his face. “I’m so sorry,” he said once more.

“You’re not allowed to be,” you whispered, giving him a half-smile, almost as if you were indulging him in a secret of yours. “Please answer the question?”

It was now or never. “Yes.”

To his utter surprise and deep-seated confusion, the smile on your face grew genuine, settling into the one he always searched for. He almost opened his mouth to question it before he was cut off.

No words can describe the sensations that bloomed in his chest, the butterflies that flitted in his stomach, when you used your hands on his face as leverage to pull him towards you for another kiss.

You kissed him. You kissed him. You were kissing.

His mind was threatening to take off like a rocket and captiulate, but his hands had never been more steady as they circled around your waist, splaying out over the small of your back as he dragged you closer. You sighed against him, smile still evident over your lips, and Remus dared – like the bastard he was – to mirror it. 

You were warm against him, but wholly different than you had been in his dream. This felt distinctly real. And just as right.

When you pulled away, your hands had migrated to the back of his neck and you kept your forehead leaned against his. “Good,” you murmured with your eyes still closed. “Because the feeling is mutual.”

He almost reared his head away from you, but managed to only pull back a few centimetres to stare at you in awe. Remus opened his mouth, but no words came out; he could find none intelligent enough to verbalise how utterly gobsmacked he felt.

You seemed to understand him just as well, going by your breathy laugh. There was still that spark in your eye, now shining brightly in the absence of your worry. Had the worry been for him?

“I know I don’t say this enough, but you really are quite an idiot, aren’t you?” you laughed and he slowly felt his heart start beating again.

“Spent too much time with Sirius and James, clearly,” he muttered, half expecting the joke to land flat and you to remember how disgusting he was. Instead, your laugh intensified and you leaned your body further against his. It emboldened him to ask, “What do you mean the feeling is mutual, dove?”

You let your arms glide further up, crossing behind his neck and over his shoulder, bringing him impossibly closer. “Remus John Lupin,” you whispered sincerely. “I am madly in love with you. Romantically. Genuinely. Any thoughts you have that explain that away are false and you mustn't listen to them. I thought you knew by now that I’m always right.”

Even as the grin involuntarily established itself on his face, his eyes were shining with unshed tears. He looked at your face, truly studied it, and he could feel his mind ever so slowly calm down. “You are.”

“What am I?” You were testing him, and he allowed it wholeheartedly.

“Right,” he confirmed. Albeit a bit more hesitantly, he knew better than not to add, “and… in love with me?”

“Two points to Gryffindor.” You reached up to give his lips a soft peck. It felt so natural, like it was already habit for you. He desperately wanted it to be.

“I’m sorry, I’m still reeling from this, dovey,” he confessed, trying to process everything.

There had never been any judgement to be found in your face. “Which parts are you struggling with the most?” 

Your eyes were full of understanding, your face scrunched up in concentration. Remus indulged himself in an old habit by reaching up with one hand to thumb the furrows away. It made you smile just like he wanted it to, and gave him a minute to think. “I don’t understand how I didn’t get it before now. I don’t understand how or why you put up with me. I don’t understand how to keep all these feelings inside such a small heart.”

Your hands were stroking his back carefully as you considered his words. “Well, firstly I would argue your heart isn’t small at all, though I get what you mean. You’re not meant to keep all the feelings inside, you know? That’s when you get all sputtery and jittery and start avoiding your best friends.” You gave him a pointed look and he almost shied under your glance. “Sharing them before you bubble over is always a good thing. We’ll work on it together. As for why I put up with you; I don’t. There’s nothing to put up with, I just enjoy you like we always have.”

Your eyes had trailed off into the distance as you thought, but you brought them back to him with a small smile as you added the final part. “I don’t know what did make you realise, so I can’t help you much there. All I can say is, sometimes we don’t see what is right in front of us.”

Remus nodded along to your words, feeling peace spreading within in that manner only you could inspire in him. He truly was an idiot, wasn’t he? “How long have you known?” he asked then, curiously.

“About you or me?”

“Both?” His smile was becoming closer to his standard sheepish one, and you seemed to preen at the sight.

You bobbed your head side to side as you considered. “It’s hard to pinpoint an exact date – it wasn’t an overnight discovery you know?” Remus did in fact not know nor relate. “But I realised we were in love, not either one’s feelings. It just sat calmly within me.”

“You mean you didn’t freak out to the extent where all students and professors alike were worried about you?”

He grinned at the small giggle that drew from you as you decidedly said, “No. Definitely not.” You studied him for a minute more. “I think I realised about five months ago, but I didn’t feel any real need to rush anything. It felt less like being given a to-do list and more like being revealed the plot twist in a movie before it happens, if you understand? The two best friends get together in the end, don’t tell anyone.”

He ducked his head at that. While he could not relate, your explanation and experience was so wholeheartedly you that it endeared him to no end. “Does that mean we should just ignore it for five more months or…?” His grin turned cheeky as you lightly swatted his shoulder.

“Nah,” you chuckled. “I reckon we’ve waited long enough, yeah?”

He sighed with a smile. “Yeah.”

You both leaned forward at the same time, as if to seal the deal with a kiss. Remus could feel it like electricity in the tips of his fingers, and he understood what you meant about knowing. Now that he was no longer in a constant state of panic, he felt incredibly calm about the whole ordeal.

Or maybe that’s just how he feels around you.

“Should I ask you formally to be my girlfriend, or are we just skipping straight to marriage?” he whispered against your lips.

Remus felt almost wolfish when you barked a loud laugh, throwing your head back and tightening your hold on him instinctively. “I think girlfriend’s enough for now, yeah cariad?”

“If you insist.” He kissed you through his grin, realising that this was all he wanted to do now.

Like he had so many times before, he tightened his arms around your waist and twirled you around in a few circles, legs flying out behind you. Except this time, your giggles were not hidden in his neck but pressed against his lips, and he tried to capture as many kisses as possible while he spun you.

When you landed with a breathless giggle, he kept one arm firmly around your waist as the two of you slowly made your way back to the Gryffindor common room. He wondered if maybe he could grab some blankets and bring you up to the Astronomy Tower so you could be alone without his friends’ meddling. Yet, he wanted to see them as well, ready to volley back any quips about “took you long enough” and “I fucking called it”. Plus, you argued that you should prove that he was in fact alive and sane.

When he walked the halls back to the Gryffindor common room with your body against his, everything felt right. When you entered together, and everyone read what had happened written clearly across your faces, resorting to their usual hoots and hollers, arguably louder than ever before, it never stopped feeling right. 

Remus being Remus, flushed deeply and averted his gaze, as he would continue doing under any uncalled for attention – but your arms squeezing him around the middle brought him right back down and your kiss to his shoulder soothed the burn of their gazes.

“What’s my gift then?” Sirius later asked salaciously as he eyed you two up and down where you cuddled together right back in the same chair, as if nothing changed. Maybe nothing really did.

You grinned widely and cleared your throat. “I honourably present to you,” you said and opened your arms towards Remus with a flourish. “A Moony who is no longer mooning.”

The little group erupted in even more cheers, celebrating the massive feat of taming their brooding boy. Remus couldn’t help but laugh along, even at his own expense. His cheeks were red but it was equally due to the exertion of laughing as it was a tinge of embarrassment. When he hid his face into the crook of your neck again, he didn’t feel nearly as guilty when he pressed a few kisses to the bare skin he found there – even less so when you melted against him with a sigh.

It felt as if a permanent smile had been sown onto his face where he sat, more content than he believed he had been while inside this castle.

Despite Remus Lupin’s disdain for public displays of affection, he had held you publicly many times before this. They all paled in comparison to the feeling of you in his arms now. 

It had always been significant to him in its casualty, just as you have always been significant to him long before he had the mind to put the feeling into words. He will always treasure every moment of your existence in his orbit. Yet the way you melted into his skin now, growing roots in each one of his aching bones – no, nothing could compare to it.

Yes, Remus Lupin ailed from public displays of affection. But you were his cure.

[lunarluvbot]

saturday sun

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

pairing : percy jackson x fem!reader

summary : a little surprise percy springs on you turns out to be one of the best afternoons at camp. or maybe that's just because you're with him?

requested : yes / no

willow's whispers : first pjo writing cause everything i see is for luke so if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself !! also im pretty sure this can be read for any godly parent. based on the song saturday sun by vance joy. I WROTE THIS IN ONE SITTING SO YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO JUDGE HOW BAD OR SHORT IT IS. I'm building up for my big fics.

warnings : literally nothing this is the most boring fic ever

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Where are we going?" You laughed, blindly following Percy as he helped you over a fallen log.

"Oh, just somewhere you'll love," He said, and winked. "At least I hope you do. Anyways, c'mon!"

The pair of you marched through the woods of the camp, laughing, talking, teasing, and enjoying moments of silence. The sun blinked lazily between branches of giant pine trees as if Apollo was comfortably stretching out on his throne.

"Here, stop here." Percy turned to you and gave you that smile that made you fall in love a little more every time you saw it. If that was even possible. "There's a pathway over here, be careful 'cause there's a lotta rocks over here."

You followed him once again, down a narrow sloping hill and arrived on a shoreline. A small oasis even. It looked like it hadn't been touched in years, moss grew over everything, the grass was bright and stood tall as if no one's footsteps had ever crushed them down yet. Waves gently lapped the rocks and few shells scattered across the ground.

"Wow," You breathed, almost as if your normal volume would disturb this angelic peace. "When did you find this, Perce?"

Percy, who was flattening the weeds to sit on, looked up. "Huh? Oh, two days ago. During capture the flag. Then I came back yesterday to make sure some monster didn't live here and now I'm showing it to you," He finished setting up his bed that would make any Demeter kid cringe. "C'mere," Percy motioned for you to lay next to him.

You smiled and made your way over to him, easing yourself down on his patch of grass. The two of you were on your stomachs, watching the water swirl into memorizing, glittering, patterns. A sweet silence filled the air.

But the water wasn't what Percy was interested in. He just kept his eyes on you, admiring the way your face lit up when you heard your favorite bird call. The way your eyes seemed to shine in the golden god's light. The smooth curve of your lips that twitched when you smiled.

You met his eyes, the sea-green hue a painting of where the sky and the sea meet.

"Do I have something on my face?" You asked, lightly teasing him to pretend you weren't about to do the same staring as he was doing now.

Percy's eyes glinted and the wisps of his hair caught the sunlight perfectly. "No, you're just the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Art's gotta be appreciated right?"

"I guess but shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Aw hey, quit stealing my line!" He said, poking your stomach. A giggle escaped you, one Percy knew he would fight any number of monsters to hear again.

"It's not your line! Where's your copyright claim?"

Instead of answering right away, Percy wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close. He tucked a fly-away strand of hair out of your face and pressed his lips gently to yours. It felt like the first breath of spring, when the flowers peek from their earthly shield and remind the world that only precious things take time.

"It's right here."

And he kisses you again.

[sseastar]

✶ what we do.

info. song eunseok x reader. fluff, suggestive if you squint. established relationship. description. little things in your relationship. word count. 1k. warnings. they take a shower together but literally just for the purpose of a shower. a single word in parentheses makes it suggestive.  listen to. fire and the flood by vance joy.

as always, please leave feedback and reblog with feedback tags as it’s the most important thing when it comes to motivating writers on here! without feedback, i have less motivation to keep writing so pls pls pls do not just like and empty reblog! it gets very draining and unmotivating to see when that happens!

Loving Song Eunseok is loving your best friend. It involves him turning off the light in the hallway as soon as you get home from class or work, so that you have to grope around in the dark following the sounds of his giggles just to greet him with a hug. “Song Eunseok!” you’d say, to which he turns the light back on to appear right beside you, before pulling you in towards him by the small of your back and leaving a lingering kiss and smile on your lips.  Loving him is pretending you’re anything but in love in front of your friends, until they finally take the hint that you are together when you quietly get up to join him at the stove. “To help him cook,” you say, but you do nothing to deny their allegations when they tease you about the way the two of you had just kept giggling and nudging each other as he mixed the fried rice. Your lingering touches on his arm and the way he dipped his face a lot closer to yours just to speak to you before laughing said too much. 

It’s going to the same university, having met him through your friend Sungchan during a club meeting. Loving Eunseok is walking to different buildings to help set up labs during your shift at work and moving past the table he's sitting at as he waits for the current lecture to get out. He only winks at you when you make eye contact then, not wanting to disturb you during your shift, fully pleased with the little smile that creeps up on your face. Song Eunseok also refuses to let you leave your shared apartment without a kiss, so loving him includes trying to wriggle out of his grasp before you go to class, and beckoning him over to your front door for that little good luck charm in the form of physical affection if you already have your shoes on. Loving him involves the little ways he keeps you close at the grocery store or mall, gently hooking his finger into your belt loop to make sure you don’t stray too far in your excitement, or by slipping his hand into your side pocket as he stands behind you to help you pick the ice cream flavor. It's how he orders both flavors of ice cream you were torn between getting, allowing you to pick the one you wanted more and eating the other, even if it was his favorite. 

Loving him is loving the way he always follows the sidewalk rule, silently shuffling your body towards the inside of the sidewalk without a word, and the way the two of you link arms and huddle together with your shoulders scrunched up like you’re freezing as you walk, regardless of the weather. It’s gently moving your hair that got stuck underneath his hoodie or under your backpack after putting it on so it’s not pressed against your neck. It’s letting you sit between his legs when he’s propped up against the headboard or against the foot of the couch, his arms encasing you over your shoulders and how he dips his face to look at you whenever you turn your face to tell him something about whatever you’re watching. It’s him letting you smush your face into his shoulder the entire time you’re watching a horror movie that just might be too much for you, but can’t bear to leave his side. 

Loving Eunseok is loving the way he kisses your knuckles, bringing his soft lips to the back of your hand and letting the sweet scent of your skin linger against his face. It's the way he always seems to admire the way the silver band on your right ring finger looks when paired with an extra hair tie you always have wrapped around your wrist (for you or for him…or probably Wonbin, but it doesn’t matter). You’re used to the way he seems to just stare at the way the combination looks against the steering wheel when you’re driving, and sometimes you have to remind him that you’re not the best left hand driver when he tries to take your hand in his. It’s the way he takes the chance to kiss your palm when the light turns red, because he just can’t wait until you’re parked. Either way, Eunseok plays with your hands regardless, just cradling them in his own because he loves the way your fingers look next to his. 

Loving Eunseok is showering together for the actual sake of saving water, without arousing desire in any way (usually). It's gently bumping each other's hips to get the other to move out of the way of the water running from the shower head, and arguing over the temperature setting. “You’re insane, I’m literally gonna burn!” he’ll exclaim when he feels how hot you set the faucet as if he isn’t used to it from the past two years of being together. It’s passing the bottle of shampoo to him after squeezing out your own quarter-sized dollop, and moving the loofa over each other’s backs. It's how Eunseok notices the little bruise on your shin from when you had run into the leg of the coffee table and the way he reprimands you to be more careful. It’s giggling when he accidentally gets soap in his eyes and helping him wash it out, and him draping your towel over your head and face as soon as you step out of the shower. He’s always got that little smirk when you lift it up from your face, finding it funny no matter how many times he does it. Loving Eunseok is sharing the same lotion and body wash, and allowing hints of lavender and chamomile to unite the two of you whenever someone associates the scent to either of you. 

It’s loving the way Eunseok doesn’t mind going shopping with you. Sometimes he’ll see something he likes (it’s obvious by how he stops and starts hovering around it) but won’t say anything about it just because he doesn’t want to carry it around. You notice, nevertheless, and you play it off as wanting that same hoodie and buying it for yourself (read: him) because you know he won’t mind carrying stuff if it’s yours. It’s Eunseok silently leaning against the bedroom wall or the door frame as you try on the new pieces of clothing you bought, full attention on the way you twirl and pose jokingly, but he finds you adorable anyway. He may be straight faced and silently observing you, but the way he picks you up to plop you on the bed and hover over you before letting his lips land on yours tells you everything you need to know.

⌕. author’s note ; i'm so easily influenced by beautiful boys with big brown eyes...was supposed to be studying for my midterm when i wrote this but song eunseok, jung sungchan, and park wonbin on my brain 24/7 recently.

⌕. taglist ; @enhacolor @soobin-chois @koishua @chrysbibi

[in3rci4]

§ THE BLACK PHONE BOYS X ADDICTION PROBLEMS / BAD INFLUENCE CRUSH READER §

WARNINGS : ANGST , MENTION OF MANIPULATION , ADDICTIONS , ALCOHOLISM ,AGRESSION ( VERBAL AND PHYSICAL ) , MANIPULATION , TOXIC ATTITUDES , SPIKING , LOW-KEY FORCING ADDICTION INTO SOME CHARACTERS , INDULGING OF SUBSTANCES, DRUGS , SMOKING , WEED , UNDERAGE CONSUMING , CHARACTERS X READER CONTENT ( SORT OF I GUESS ) , SOME CHARACTERS ARE MENTIONING CONSUMING AS WELL , GUN OWNING , MENTAL INESTABILITY , CRIME COMMITING , PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCES OF CONSUMING , GENDER NEUTRAL ! READER , ETC

Characters included in these head canons : Finney Blake , Gwendolyn Blake ( little mention of her ) , Robin Arellano , Vance Hopper , Bruce Yamada , Billy Showalter and Griffin Stagg

Author's note : If I forgot some warning or I have spelling errors please let me know , and if you feel uncomfortable with the post i recommend you wait for my short and non reader involved version of this one , thanks to @nnooahhsworld for the inspiration !

FINNEY BLAKE

He always liked smart and good faith people ( Donna for example ) , but that changed when he met you on his way to school . His bullies saw the opportunity to jump him and started to chase after him , and distracted , he bumped into you

You pushed him away annoyed , but then , you realized that he was running away from 3 familiar assholes , and just like a light switch , you moved in front of him while he was laying on the ground and told them to fuck off

The little shits didn't believe that you could win against them , so they started to insult you , they were 3 against 1 and a half after all

But little they did know that you had a gun hided in your jacket .

They ran away almost pissing themselves , and you moved on with your life , but Finney couldn't do it that easy

He remembers that morning with a mixed feeling of fear and admiration for you , he can't stop looking at you any chance that he can , Gwen and Robin knows about his crush , but they don't say anything ( or well , maybe they do , but they back off because he gets uncomfortable )

He hated with all his soul the cigarettes and alcohol smell , but after that encounter , he started to feel more comfortable around it , not so disgusted like before . But asides his shyness , he avoids you purposely

He has the hots for you and how badass you are , but babe , you are bad , real bad news , and he knows it

Everytime Finney sees you , you are either covered in your own or someone's else blood , smoking or either laughing with a bottle of beer on the streets alone or with a group of aggressive jerks

If you ever get close to Finney to get to know him better , he won't push you away and will be all kind and polite to you , but don't expect him to go after you .

Neither expect him to go to your defense , he might reluctantly help you after a fight if he saw how bad you ended up or lift you up of the ground if you needed to , but that's it , the more you stay out of his life , the better .

He wishes he could help you , but he had enough dealing with his father's bad habits , he knows how exhausting and draining people with addictions can be and the suffering that they cause to those around them , he won't voluntarily put himself in another situation like that

His heart tells him to go after you and try to help you see other ways , try to heal you , but the same heart along with his mind tells him to keep his distance from you for his own good

So he hopes , truly , that one day you stop living that reckless life and find someone who loves you to settle down , because he can't , and won't be your savior

Maybe in the future , or in another life , you two could be together in a healthy relationship , who knows

Finney is satisfied with watching you from afar , because that's the safe thing to do

ROBIN ARELLANO

You are one of the toughest kids in school like Robin and Vance Hopper ( Moose had lost his title after loosing a fight with him ) , so he obviously knew about your existence , and with time , got the pleasure of becoming one of your friends

You were fun to hang out with , you didn't only made him laugh his ass off and go watch adult movies with him ( not porn don't be dirty minded ) , but you also taught him things that he didn't know about ( since you were more street smarter than him , and he was thankful for it )

And of course , Robin found out about your habits really quick

At first , he didn't care about them , you do you he thought , but ... It was so weird to see you impressed by something or someone , that he gave it a try , just to see your reaction ..

And that was the start of everything .

And he didn't only did it to add more things to his tough guy reputation , he did it to be seen as cool too and share another bond with you , even it was harmful

What ? There's nothing to be worried about , the cigarettes smoke is something that he's used to and he had tried alcohol before , it's not like he drinks and smokes everyday and can afford it !

The more Robin spent time with you , the more he started to lack responsibility , and he was not a responsible person before .

School didn't matter anymore , the fights increased , the smoker scent was part of him now and he would arrive late to his home drunk as fuck scolded by his uncle and poor worried mom

He tried to stop , didn't do it completely , but tried his best for his family

But then you offered him to try the next level , drugs , those that could make him stronger and stay wide awake , or be more relaxed , if that's what he wanted .

For him it was the crossing line , and for good .

He didn't want to mess with those things , and you mocked him for being such a chicken , a maricón , so you both had an argument , where it clicked him :

You were so far gone that you offered him being even more fucked up than he already was , you give 3 shits about what could possibly happen to him , he understood that in case of needing you , having an overdose or a alcoholic coma , you would minimize it , or worse , make him take more and more until his body couldn't take it anymore

He moved on from you really quick and never tried to contact you ever again , you already showed him your fangs , he isn't stupid as you thought he was to stay and die like a dog ( Even after you threatened him to tell everyone about his cowardice , wich ended in a physical fight that he won , and almost gave you a head contusion from the strength and anger of the attacks )

Robin almost stepped in into the most dangerous and addicting shits that the neighborhood could offer , because of you , and he will never forget that , he will never forget how weak and betrayed you made him feel for backing off from it , after trusting you so much with all his being

But the damage was done , he can't quit smoking even if he feels disgusting after it , drinking water or alcohol was the same for him now

A horrible party favor of you and your bad influence in his life .

BRUCE YAMADA

Oh my Lord , you're the cannon event of this guy ...

Bruce met you at a friend's party and he presented you as the " party animal " and " the life of the party " . He had to admit , you were attractive in your way and had some groove on you , dancing with you was a blast

But you were more than just that .

At some point of the night , the music and the people got louder , crazier , it was the best part in Bruce's opinion

The bottles started to go down faster and faster , normally in these parties the drinks had a small amount of alcohol , but this time , they were just regular party drinks

Bruce was drunker than usual , giggling while clumsily dancing , you asked him if he wanted to have more fun that he already had and he agreed without thinking twice

So you put the pill in your tongue , wrapped your hands in his neck and passed it into his mouth , to give him free pass to fairyland

He felt in heaven , the lights were spinning around more colorful and shinier , the music was now vibrating trough his bones , his body like feather , a new whole sensation washed all over him ...

The party was over , and he didn't saw you again the following weeks , what was on that kiss that made his head spin like a record ? He needed whatever was in your mouth a second time

The next month he had the worst games streak of his life , he couldn't stop losing again and again , and the pressure started to put a heavy weight over him

Bruce needed a miracle , a distraction , so after his extra practice session , he went to another party in the same friend's house , and " lucky " him he found you once again

It was like a deja Vu , both of you danced , laughed and yelled the lyrics of the music , but this time , with him being sober , you offered him to do what happened the last time

And that's how you dragged him to hell with you .

He came back to his old self back again , his winning streak too , taking his team to the victory like he always do , celebrating with you party after party , getting addicted , to you , every single time .

So much energy , yet so much loose of control . He would go out to get more of it outside the parties , sneak at the night when his parents were asleep , starting to believe that if he took them before the games started he would 100 % win for sure

Without warning , you disappeared , and the abstention was driving him crazy . He couldn't concentrate in class , he couldn't grab the bat without feeling a weird itch on his fingers and more times that he could count he had to apologize for feeling "nervous " and being careless with his words . So he asked a friend for some weed to smoke until you showed up your ass to school , but the two got caught and his friend spilled everything to not get suspended

His family found out about it and were so disappointed , mad , yet worried too . They agreed to not tell anyone or send him to an rehabilitation center , but from now on , he had restricted and limited permission to go out and more studying to do ( not like he could call the shots anyway )

It was terrible , but even if what it felt like a eternity for him , in a short time , he fortunately recovered , and started to have much healthier life than before , zero consuming and having innocent fun with a small group of friends

He regrets so much being so careless to the point of doing that bullshit in school with other kids around , letting himself fell so low , but he's glad that he made it out . You never showed up on the town ever again , some rumors says that you are in a juvenile correctional center , others that you were dead , or doing drugs somewhere else

Bruce , without any intention of being mean or cruel , couldn't care less , he moved on from that lifestyle , maybe it wasn't his destiny to stay by your side , maybe , the future has something bigger waiting for him

BILLY SHOWALTER

You two knew each other since you were kids , really good friends that slowly got apart from each other . It wasn't years later that you started to talk with him again on his way back home from school , inviting him to the big parties of the neighborhood or having casual conversations about the weather , exams , latest gossip , etc

You were still you , but something was off , and Billy knew it , although he couldn't tell what exactly changed specifically in you

Until one morning of his regular paper news delivering route he saw you walking bare feet in your party clothes and a black eye . He stopped immediately to ask you what happened , but you couldn't stop laughing and talking non sense

He scrunched his nose when the smell of alcohol hit him coming from your body and mouth , but he sucked it up and walked you home and made sure you got inside , meanwhile giving you a speech about how bad underage drinking is not like you could pay attention to it though

He started to worry about your safety and kept an eye on you to make sure you were ok , but you would dismiss his concern and told him that you were fine , it wasn't that bad , right ?

Billy started to slowly , but surely , parenting you , he had to stop whatever he was doing or delivering in the middle of the rush just to help when you when you were bleeding the hell out of you after a fight , laying on the street passed out drunk or with little clothes when it was cold

It was a never ending cycle , he would take you home , try to persuade you to quit that way of living , you would say yes and then go to a party to get fucked up , and repeat over and over again

Billy thought that it would be a good idea going out with you to the parties to make sure you stayed on line , but oh you made things so difficult ...

You would disappear into the crowd , vomit over someone else's clothes or shoes , drink an entire bottle by yourself and even seek fights for fun

Those times lasted short because he couldn't deal anymore with the embarrassment of apologizing for you to the people in the party for your actions , the frustration of having to argue about something that you both agreed on before , your childish attitudes and getting involved in the middle of fights that you started or someone else's wanted to with you

Then you both had an argument , can't you see ? He's genuinely sad to see his dear friend this shitty , and it angered him how you're not able to understand that it's hurting you , that he's doing everything that he can to keep you safe but it's useless because you search trouble anyway

But you told him to go and fuck off if he was so tired of you .

And exhausting all of this babysitting and chasing of someone that was falling apart uncontrollably , he stopped talking to you .

It hurts him to leave you like this , but he couldn't be your nurse , dad , friend , therapist , driver or anything that had to do with taking care of you after you searched being that way on the first place

He needs for his own mental and emotional health let you go , but it's not easy , the memory of who you used to be sticks with him , but that person doesn't exist no more , and he can't keep going just for that reason

Sometimes he watches you from afar wondering if you're clean now or still consuming bullshit , but Billy won't ask you , he doesn't have to anymore .

VANCE HOPPER

He doesn't remember how he met you , was at the records store ? At the Grab 'n Go ? A tree lined street ? He doesn't have a fucking clue

But since he got close to you , he didn't only found himself to have a lot in common with you , but safe as well , comfortable , finally someone that understands and treats him right !

If only he knew that you are everything but safety ....

You lit cigarettes for him even if Vance didn't told you to , buy beers or Vodka and tell him to take a " sip " , to not be such a pussy , and he will never say no , his fragile masculinity and internalized misogyny didn't let him to do so

Besides , who gives a shit ?

Exactly .... Nobody , you don't either , and that's what matters

Sitting on rooftops or in the sidewalk drinking and laughing your asses off was so great , play who could blow more smoke out of your mouths and throwing bottles as far as you could , sometimes to a moving car or bike for the giggles and adrenaline of running away from the angry owners

Who cares if it makes Vance forget how shitty his life is ? Who cares if he gets a smile from you by doing it ? It's nothing new from him , what changes if he gets more greedy with you ?

One day he found himself cornered by a decision . You wanted to spicy up things before getting ready to go to the AC / DC concert , be more crazy and sniff some angel dust , but ... He never did drugs before , what if he does it wrong and you laugh at him ? What if his body doesn't receive it well and make a mess of him ?

Since you know how to manipulate him with toxic sexism , the only thing that you have to do was say that he had to grow some balls , because even the faggots can do it

And like that , he started to move his head closer to your small living room table where the lines were at , slowly , nervous , his hand shaking except for the one that was pushing one side of his nostrils

Man ... It felt so fucking weird how fast the dust went inside his nose and dissolved like magic in him

But he felt alive ... So alive ... He felt stronger , powerful , he didn't felt like a boy , no , he felt like a man , a man that didn't fear anything or anyone at all , he can fight with his bare hands an entire army if he wanted to !

Poor kid , that searching of ecstasy would take him to a another level wrongness in his life ... You corrupted his already damaged soul and took him to the darkness as well ... Good job .

Fuck off school , fuck off family , friends , the police , the entire country can do it too , now it's you , him , the narcotics , the cigarettes , the alcohol and heavy metal , whoever tries to mess with you both , will be beaten to death

Crime commiting would soon follow the line , but In Vance head there's too much shit to let space for worries , besides , not like you would ever betray him or some shit like that ....

GRIFFIN STAGG

He was eating his lunch alone on the last table of the cafeteria when you sat next to him and started to talk with him like you were all time buddies

Griffin responded cautiously all your questions , did his old bullies remembered he existed and want to pull a prank on him ? Do you want to seal him something or convince him to join one of the school shitty clubs ?

Day after day you would do the same thing . He wasn't sure of your intentions , you had what people called " the crazy eyes " , clothes were near crossing the line of school dress code or falling apart , strange laugh , funny smell ... And you space out a little too much while talking ( a little bit creepy on his opinion )

But you are always nice to him , and you had a really good sense of humor , so he eventually warmed up to you , may or may developing a small crush ...

A cold morning you grabbed his hand to follow you to the bathroom , you were coughing a lot lately , but he thought you catched a cold .... Again

You opened your backpack excited and showed him all the varieties of joints and cigarettes , and since he was your friend , he could had any for free !

Griffin started to panic near having an attack , what if you get caught ? Who is sealing you these things ? Are you a dealer ? Do you want him to buy your stuff ? Or do you want him to give it to other kids !?

You only laughed , like always , and told him to calm down , that you smoke all the time and you're still alive

He couldn't handle it , he ran away out of the school confused about what he'd just saw , is this the reason why you're always coughing ? Is this the reason why your lungs are so screwed up ? Do you hang around with dangerous people ?

Scared , decided to avoid you at all costs .

But you found him after 2 weeks since the last encounter , and told you him that you were sorry , that you didn't meant to scare him away , that he's your best friend and other sweet things that made Griffin feel bad for ignoring you

Did you promised him to stop and change ? Yes

How many times since then ? Enough for a normal person to give up counting

Unluckily for this little guy , time will not never change who you are . He's so , so attached to you that he keeps forgiving you , always believing in your words and fake promises , always following you like a lost puppy worried about your well being

Please stop it , Griffin is tired of looking out for you , he can't guess when or where you're gonna end up the next time to find your vice

[theglassofmiddleearth]

Real or Not Real?

Chapter 1

Pairing: James Potter X reader, Sirius Black X reader (platonic) Remus X Reader Platonic.

Word count: 7.3k

Warning: Slow burn!

Series list

Autumn in the Scottish Highlands was, in itself, a reason to attend Hogwarts. Blue September skies, speckled with wispy clouds. The falling bronze leaves and the red hued sunsets.

This was no less than a second home to most students. A safe haven if you will. It was good to be going home.

She had grown up with Sirius and Regulus so her regular residence wasn't much of a home. Her parents Ignatius and Lucretia (Black) Prewett had left her to Orion and Walburga often so they could travel around France. No one actually knew where they would be or for how long they would travel. Only that they were always gone for indefinite amounts of time. They never sent letters, maybe an odd postcard or two. Y/N kept them hidden in a drawer in her room. (Call her sentimental if you will.) The terrible house of Black had adored her until she was sorted into Gryffindor along with Sirius. After that, they were both called blood traitors and treated as such. However, being someone else’s child, they treated her with less disdain than Sirius. That being said, they weren't the kindest of people, if at all.

Y/N would bring Sirius half her food when he would get sent to his room early without dinner. (which was quite often.) Sneaking things in her long sleeves and pockets whenever she could. Strangely, Kreacher had caught her once, but he said absolutely nothing and pretended that he saw nothing. (She would not forget this kindness.)

Things only escalated when they reached now, their fifth year. Y/N always took her yelling's, occasional threats, and hexes in silence whereas Sirius would fight back. In a way, she admired him for his bravery, knowing that he possessed the strength that she lacked. Whereas, his admiration for her resided in her refusal to back down, cry or beg. They had a mutual respect for one another. On another hand, she was somewhat envious of Regulus, he was apparently the perfect child who was, (seemingly) loved.

That was until she started to notice the bags under his eyes at the beginning of this year. She hadn’t really had the chance to talk to him, between Walburga’s looming presence and by the younger boy’s being sorted into Slytherin. However, she had the feeling he wasn’t exactly taking up his family ideals to heart.

Ever since fifth year began, Y/N and Sirius would never again call 12 Grimmauld Place home.

~

Y/N kicked her feet rhythmically, leaning her head on Lily Evans' shoulder. Their Hogwarts express compartment was filled with chatter, a welcome distraction from her thoughts. Somehow, over the past four years, she had been adopted into the Gryffindor group of girls in her dormitory. Lily, Alice, Marlene, and Dorcas. They had patiently and painstakingly, coaxed the girl out of her shell. Y/N was truly grateful for their friendship. In the beginning she couldn't help feeling that their kindness was based on pity. That had made it hard for her to trust them. Meaning, that before fifth year, she had never really interacted with them outside of the Gryffindor house dorms.

Marlene and Dorcras were pelting question after question at Alice, wanting to know the details of her crush on Frank Longbottom. Ever the curious couple, Y/N felt slightly glad that she wasn’t on the receiving end of their questions.  

‘You’ll be “Alice Longbottom” one day.’ Y/N grinned teasingly at the girl with the pixie cut. 

Alice laughed before shrugging good naturedly, 'We’ll see. Frank is awfully shy. I might have to be the one initiating everything.’

Marlene cut in with her arm around Dorcas, ever a picturesque couple.  ‘And Lily’s last name will be “Potter!”’

Y/N stifled a giggle at the comment. 

Lily gagged before letting out a sigh, ‘It’s not that Potter isn’t just a complete tool. I’m also just not into men.’

Y/N shrugged. ‘Yeah, you keep making eyes at Emmeline Vance during charms. It’s actually kind of sickening how adorable your pining face is.’

Lily flicked Y/N’s nose. ‘When are you going to start hanging out with us outside the dorms? All you do is go to the library or hide in the kitchens and bake while chatting with the elves.’

Dorcas pouted, adding, ‘You don't even sit with us during class!’

Y/N winced while casting her eyes down. Another thing, she really didn’t like drawing attention to herself or loud noises. Loud noises or attention usually lead to shouting and maybe a raised hand back at Grimmauld Place. They usually caused an unpleasant reaction out of the girl. 

‘I can’t do crowds, I really am sorry. It’s not that I don't want to, you’re all lovely but-’

‘That's alright, you take your time love. You'll come talk to the rest of us when you're ready.’ Alice gently reassured her, patting the girl beside her on the arm.

Y/N smiled gratefully. The girls weren’t at all pushy about getting Y/N to hang out with them. However, they did always ask. They wanted her to feel and be included. None of them ever took a rejection personally. It was what made Y/N lower her walls all the more.

Lily ruffled Y/N’s hair affectionately. The rest of the girls continued their chat whilst the introverted girl stared out the window, still leaning on Lily’s shoulder, taking in the view and enjoying the company. The dark pine trees that littered the lands surrounding all the lochs that glittered in the rare sunlight. She let out a soft sigh, allowing herself to relax, just for that moment.

~

The hustle and bustle of the students, all ecstatic to see each other again made Y/N giddy. She had, however, skipped the feast, opting to go say hello to all the elves who had finished preparing the feast. She particularly enjoyed Wigby’s desserts. (He was admittedly her favourite house elf.) He made the best sweets which led to Y/N learning all her baking skills from the friendly house elf. 

The halls were electric with energy, almost tangible. This year Y/N and her friends were to be taking their O.W.L exams. To be honest, she was completely ready, having already studied up to the N.E.W.T level of all her subjects. Studying and reading at Hogwarts was her escape, truly. She padded into the first class, Potions. She slipped into the seat next to Lily, quickly giving the red haired girl a gentle squeeze on her hand and flashing a smile at the rest of the girls who greeted her enthusiastically. They had convinced her to sit with them during classes this year instead of her usual spot at the back away from prying eyes.

As they continued their conversation, Y/N unpacked her quill, and parchment while waiting for the lesson to start. As she doodled a small picture of a cauldron, a cocky voice crooned out. ‘Ah, my sweet flower, how I’ve missed- Who are you and why are you in my seat?’ James Potter (Lily’s self proclaimed “sweetheart”) word vomited at the poor girl.

Y/N gripped the desk tightly, her knuckles turning white. Confrontation, how lovely. As much of an amusing topic of complaint he was that she had heard from conversation with the girls. She wasn't sure of his thoughts of her. What if he thought she was a complete weirdo? She found a spot on the table and stared at it with the utmost concentration, unable to bring her eyes to meet the owner of the voice. Lily, also ignored the voice. Instead opting to cover Y/N’s hand with her own, continuing her conversation with Marlene, and Dorcas about the importance of studying for their O.W.L’s

‘Ah, you’ll survive the lesson James, come on,’ a voice drawled, waving James away. A voice which Y/N immediately recognised as belonging to Sirius.

Y/N looked up and turned around, wanting to meet Sirius’s eyes to mouth a, “Thank you” but her eyes met hazel ones instead. 

‘Oh.’ James mumbled with wide eyes. He was standing right behind her, not having moved back to his actual “spot”.

Y/N’s eyes darted away immediately before finding Sirius’s. His eyebrows were raised with mirth and he smiled, shrugging his shoulders. She flashed him a small smile before turning around, basically ignoring James Potter. This was new. People didn't usually ignore him. They would at least acknowledge him, but to be completely silent? James was puzzled. Had he offended her in some way before? 

‘Mr Potter, I trust you will be able to find your seat?’ Professor Slughorn called out, striding into the classroom, his large belly preceding him through the door. He was Y/N's favourite professor. He was kind to Lily and Y/N. (Probably due to their prowess in potions but nonetheless!)

‘Yes sir.’ James sat down without protest, his gaze lingering on the unfamiliar girl before his thoughts were interrupted by Professor Slughorn. He hadn’t noticed her before. How had he not noticed someone for four years? He was always making friends with people.

‘Today, we will be assigning our first assignment of the year. An essay on polyjuice potion. Four weeks sounds like ample time does it not?’

As the professor announced their first assignment. James couldn't help but notice how Y/N avoided looking in any direction that wasn't the front or her notes. He leaned in close to Sirius, whispering just loud enough for him to hear amongst the groans of the class,

‘What's her deal?’ He asked, glancing at Y/N again.

Y/N dutifully jotted down the specifics of the assignment, (unbeknownst to her) under James’s gaze. She allowed Lily to periodically glance at her notes. She whispered something into Lily’s ear to which the redhead smiled at her and nodded.

‘What are they whispering about?’ James nudged Sirius again.

‘Y/N probably asked if Lily wanted to pair up.’ Remus interrupted. ‘She is rather shy.’ As Sirius shot James a look for nudging him repeatedly.

‘You know her?’ James gaped at the sandy haired boy.

‘James, Y/N has been in our classes since first year. She just doesn’t really talk.’

‘Besides, you’re too busy pining over your “Lilypad” to really notice any other women.’ Sirius mused with his arms crossed, feeling slightly protective of his little cousin.

‘And how do you know her?’ James retorted. Ignoring Sirius's quip, however true it could have been.

‘She’s my cousin.’

‘Huh.’ Remus blinked.

‘You didn't know that?’ James glanced at Remus ‘I thought you knew her?’

‘No, I just know she’s practically topping almost every class, she doesn’t really speak to-’

‘Now boys, would you like to share your conversation with the rest of Gryffindor and Slytherin?’ Slughorn called out to the boys, his large walrus moustache twitched above his lip, the man seemingly amused by their chattering. 

‘No sir.’ Remus replied evenly. 

‘Well then! I shall announce the pairings for the assignment!’ He smiled merrily, ignoring the cries of protest from the rest of the class. 

Y/N’s face paled and she whipped her head to look at Lily. Usually they were paired off in their seats, not randomly. Y/N had truly enjoyed his classes up till now but this? Suddenly Slughorn was rapidly losing his status as favourite professor.

Lily looked at her worriedly, “Lets just hear who you have to pair with. If it's someone obnoxious, we’ll go speak to the professor or I’ll swap with you.”

Y/N’s heart swelled with emotion at her friend's empathy. 

‘I couldn’t ask that of you Lily.’ Y/N whispered, misty-eyed. Kindness was a luxury that Y/N had so often been not able to afford for so long. Seeing it up close and displayed just for her, she couldn't help but be slightly overwhelmed.

‘It’s okay, I’m the one who offered.’ Lily patted her arm, reassuring the fidgety girl.

‘If I could marry you Lily Evans, I would do it in a heartbeat.’ Y/N tugged at Lily’s sleeve, looking down bashfully.

‘Now if only you were into women.’ Lily grinned, squishing Y/N’s cheeks with her hands gently. ‘What a treat you would be.’

‘Lily!’ The shy girl pouted, batting away the other girl's hands playfully.

‘Ms Mckinnon, and Ms Meadowes,’ To which the couple let out a happy cheer.

‘James Potter, and Lily Evans,’ Lily slumped over immediately, letting her head rest onto the desk with a quite audible Thwump! To which Y/N giggled, at her sudden change in demeanour.

 James was completely caught off guard when Professor Slughorn announced his partner for the assignment. He had been so preoccupied with the revelation of Y/N being related to Sirius and trying to figure her out that he hadn’t even been paying attention to the teacher. He couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at Lily’s exaggerated head bang onto the desk after hearing her own partner. Before he could think of a witty comeback, he heard the next pairing.

‘Sirius Black, and Y/N Prewett.’ Y/N perked up, looking at Lily with bright eyes, shaking her head with a smile. This was one of the people she would be able to work with!

‘Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.’ The two boys subtly high fived. Strangely enough, James wasn’t making a huge fuss over being paired with Lily. Strange enough for even Y/N to take notice, though she refrained from commenting.

Remus took a side glance at James, he wasn't sure if he would regret asking his friend his question.

‘You're not ecstatic over being paired with Lily?’ Remus questioned. 

‘I am, I just...’ James shook his head. At this point, he knew Lily wasn't into him. In fact, he wasn't even sure she liked men. He wasn't the only boy in Hogwarts to have ever asked her out. At this point, it was just a long bit and a way to keep other girls from approaching him. 

Sirius smirked knowingly. He may have been a lazy student but he sure as hell wasn't stupid. He could tell that after three years of incessant rejections, James had quickly lost his desire to date Lily.

‘Since you all feel the need to cheer at each pairing. I shall leave the list on the board and you can all cheer at the same time. Take this time to move into your pair and discuss your assignment. That'll be all for this lesson. Welcome back students.’  Slughorn's eyes glimmered with amusement, revealing the quip towards the class to be good natured.

The professor sat back down at his seat as the class began to disperse once again into chatter and movement. He generously answered stray questions from the students who wandered to his desk in need of assistance.

Y/N stood up and walked over to Sirius’s desk and nudged his foot with her own. Grabbing his attention soundlessly.

Sirius gave her a genuine smile and shoved James with his shoulder. 

‘Go over to your “Lily flower”. I’ve got to discuss the assignment with my partner.’

James blinked owlishly at Y/N, still taking in her very existence.

‘Sorry?’ Y/N whispered, looking at him hesitantly. 

‘Quite alright,’ James nodded, standing up to walk towards Lily without his signature smirk.

Y/N sat down with Sirius and smiled shyly before asking, ‘Is Potter alright? I thought he would be thrilled to be up partnered with Lily?’

Sirius blinked, ‘You keep up with this stuff?’

Y/N tilted her head from side to side, ‘Not particularly, more like I listen to Lily complain in the dorms. It’s hard to miss. She says he's quite…’

‘Stubborn?’

‘We’ll go with that.’ She quickly agreed, not wanting to rat out her friend. 

‘Hey so this means you finally have to talk to me outside of our house.’ Sirius teased. Honestly, they had never really talked, at Grimmauld Place or at Hogwarts.

Y/N grinned at him and retorted, ‘I’m not sharing my food with you here at home Sirius, we get plenty to eat at here.’

They shared a smile. Knowing they had each other's backs even without constant catch ups was a good feeling. The unspoken bond they shared wasn’t obvious to outsiders, but Sirius and Y/N knew, and that was enough.

‘So, the assignment. We’re describing how to brew the potion, all the ingredients and for extra credit, we can list out the dangers of brewing potion such as the errors and misuse!’

Sirius sighed, ‘I’m not really good with the-’

‘You’re good at finding information, I’ll handle the writing, you just tell me the information and I’ll make it sound good!’ Y/N nodded excitedly. 

‘What do you mean?’ Sirius stared blankly at the girl, completely unconvinced.

‘You always know where, how and who to prank! It's the same thing!’

‘It’s completely different.’ Sirius deadpanned.

‘Where did you learn the hair changing spell?’ Y/N crossed her arms.

‘In a transfiguration textbook. I was putting the books back in the library after Remus and oh-’ Sirius nodded slowly as he came to realise what the girl meant by being “good”.

‘See?’ Y/N smiled at him brilliantly, seeming proud of his (apparent) talent.

‘Y’know, this is nice, why don’t we do this more often.’

‘I don’t do-’

‘Crowds, yeah I know, and at the house, we’re too emotionally exhausted to talk.’ 

They both let out a heavy sigh before chuckling at their shared experience. Comfortable silences were rare, but together, the cousins were able to revel in each other's company. A truly unique connection formed by trauma. 'At least something good came out of it?' They had mused.

As the rest of the class chattered away, discussing the project or gossiping, Y/N and Sirius decided to meet up after dinner that night and every Wednesday. The pair discovered they had Defence Against the Dark Arts next. Sirius offered to walk with her to class, to which she accepted gratefully, mentioning Lily and Alice would probably also be with her. 

As the class began to filter out, Lily and Alice had walked over to Y/N to wait for her. 

‘You’ve got DADA next, with us right?’ Alice beamed. 

Y/N nodded, somewhat feeling excited to have people to walk to class with. Being with three people wouldn't be a crowd! 

‘There's a new teacher this year!’ Lily supplied this new information.

‘Again?’ Y/N wrinkled her nose. It was rather odd actually, ever since professor Merrythought had retired, it seemed as if every Defence teacher had resigned after a year.

A rather strange situation, but, none of her concern. 

‘Who is it?’ She asked as a passing question, not overly invested in the answer.

‘Some guy named Knittingley.’ Remus piped up from behind them, startling Y/N into almost dropping her books. She scrambled to regain her grip on them, before the culprit himself had taken some of them in his arms.

‘Sorry love,’ he grinned sheepishly, ‘you alright?’ To which she nodded and gave him a forgiving smile. He held onto her books, silently offering to carry them for her.

‘Ah, you down right scared the poor thing, Remus. Now she won't ever talk to us again.’ Sirius whined before breaking into a cheeky smirk, waggling his eyebrows up and down.

Y/N considered throwing something at her relative but then decided it would be too much work and that her books weren’t made for throwing.

‘What’s the hold up?’ James questioned from the doorway, calling out to the group, ‘Lets go, Peter’s already gone ahead.’

Suddenly it wasn’t only three people anymore.

Somehow, Y/N had been looped into walking to class with five other people. Technically five was a group, not really a crowd, right? Sirius had swung his arm over Y/N, as if preventing her from running away. Okay well now it's definitely a group.

Lily and Alice were in the front, enthusiastically discussing the topics of the next class. They were fervently hoping that their first class wasn’t going to be a revision on Boggarts, as they knew it would be in the curriculum. Meanwhile, in the back, James was asking Remus about something about mandrake leaves and cycles of the moon.

In the midst of her conversation with Sirius, their formation, Y/N noticed. It seemed like almost a barrier against other students? Y/N internally shook her head. Most likely a coincidence, right? Why would it be intentional?

Sirius was babbling on, about the effects of conditioner on hair and how he found it amusing that James would use one that had a charm to make his hair extra bouncy. Y/N had stiffened a chuckle at this while James whined as he heard this and protested that he needed the extra shine and bounce.

‘It makes me look nice!’

To which Y/N nodded along, looking at Sirius, not noticing that James had beamed when she seemingly agreed. Remus looked on with a rather pleased smile, his nose scrunching. He had always wanted to befriend the shy girl. Now that she had somehow mustered up the courage (been practically physically restrained) to hang out with their group. He, along with the rest of the group, was excited to witness this side of the girl they had never seen before.

As the entire group arrived at the classroom on the third floor, Y/N’s gaze drew to the sweeping ivory dragon skeleton that hung from the ceiling. This had to be one of her favourite classrooms, just for the dragon. Even as she had grown up in the Wizarding world, there was still an element of wonder that she could never get used to.

While Slughorn was her, (almost former) favourite professor. Defence Against the Dark Arts would have to be her favourite subject. Although she was unable to defend herself at home, here in the classroom, she could learn to defend herself from things in the outside world. An escape from reality.

‘Now now, step lively everyone!’ A low voice announced, from the top of the staircase. A tall, thin, almost elderly man skipped down the steps. His bright pink cloak floating behind him, desperately trying to keep up. He had a pleasant looking face with a well kept beard, one that reminded Y/N of the old white haired wizards from fairy tales. His clothes were flashy. A nice cream coloured suit under his cloak, decorated with white stars that shimmered with his movement. He looked rather spry for his age.

‘Welcome to Defence Against the Dark Arts students,’ he gave a small bow, ‘Now, I trust all of you have noticed the shaking closet?’

To which most of the students nodded. It was reflective, periodically clattering, rattling. As if something was trying desperately to escape.

Lily and Alice quickly paled. 

‘Well then, quickly, let’s all make a line,’ The man called out, causing the students to scramble to try and position themselves to be nearest to the back.

Lily and Alice were frozen still, not only shocked that their predictions had been correct. But also they remembered their rather tormenting experience in third year with boggarts. It was obvious to say that they did not want to be facing this creature again.

With a sudden burst of courage and empathy, Y/N took both the girls hands and led them to stand behind her, not realising that she was now at the front of the line.

‘Wait-’ 

‘Ah, we have a brave volunteer! Step forward Ms…?’

‘Y/N Prewett..’ she replied hoarsely, suddenly extremely aware of her tongue.

As she nervously stared at the reflective closet, Professor Knittingley peered at her through his round spectacles. (They reminded Y/N of Professor McGonagall's own glasses.)

‘When facing a boggart, the spell that we use for the incantation is called, “Riddikulus.” Now, without wands, come on, all together!’

The class repeated after the Professor with unsure voices. Y/N hesitantly mumbled out the word in time of the class. She wasn’t worried about what the boggart would turn into. No In fact, the girl had a very good idea who it would turn into. Her only worry was what her friends would think. Would they laugh at her? Would Sirius be offended?

Y/N’s spiral was quickly cut off by Lily’s comforting hand on her back and Alice’s hand squeeze. 

‘Yes and the thing that finishes off a Boggart most is laughter!’ The professor bounced, seemingly excited to see his students fend off their worst nightmares. He waved Y/N forward and whispered in her ear.

‘What do you fear the most Ms Prewett?’ His question was immediately answered with,

‘My aunt.’ 

Professor Knittingley’s eyes flashed with sympathy. It wasn't unknown that she was staying with Walburga and Orion. Actually, most of the teachers knew, which was why they rarely if ever picked her to speak in class. The reputation and beliefs of the Black family was quite well known within the wizarding world.

‘Well, I want you to,’ he wiggled his bushy eyebrows, 'picture her with a beard, and wearing my clothes. White stars and all!’ His eyes were glittering with amusement, as he stepped back. Y/N gave him a panicked glance as he backed away from her.

‘Wand at the ready!’ He encouraged her. ‘When I open this door, you shall repeat the incantation and turn your boggart into,’ he whipped around to face his students, ‘something funny!’

The professor flicked his wand, opening the closet to reveal darkness. For a second, Y/N was filled with false hope, maybe the closet had been empty. 

She was wrong. 

A pale boney hand reached out, gripping the side of the door.

‘Steady.’ The professor called out, ready to jump in if things went awry.

The slightly trembling girl gripped her wand tightly, waiting for the creature to fully reveal itself. The hand led to an arm, a torso and then the severe face of Walburga Black. The rest of the class was silent, watching the girl in the front of the line. Each student felt sorry for the girl but none were willing (or able) to take her place.

Y/N took a short, sharp breath as the boggart, now in the shape of her aunt, took its steps out of the closet. Y/N steeled herself, lifted her wand and shouted, ‘Riddikulus!’ Picturing her least favourite aunt in her new professor’s clothes.

With a whip cracking sound, the woman in front of her instantaneously grew a stringy beard, her clothes now morphed to match the Defence teacher. Y/N let out a small relieved giggle as the creature looked around confusedly in its pink star spangled clothing. The mood of the classroom seemed to have considerably lightened as excited whispers and laughter broke out.

‘That's it! Let’s keep the line moving!’ The cheery professor gestured for the line to keep moving.

One by one, the students moved through the line. Each defeating their own fears, Sirius’s being himself, in Slytherin robes. Lily was a young girl, black hair, and shrewd eyes.

Remus was coming to the front of the line until the chiming of a clock rang from the front of the classroom. Saved by the bell, or in this case, alarm clock.

‘I’m afraid that is all we will have time for today!’ Professor Knittingley clapped his hands together. ‘I shall see you all next lesson where we will be learning the Human-presence-revealing Spell!’

As the class trickled out, Sirius and Lily dashed towards Y/N.

‘I’m so sorry you had to go first.’ Lily’s apology was hurried, grasping Y/N’s face to check if she was alright.

‘Let her go Evans, it's not like the Boggart had a wand.’ Sirius laughed before turning to Y/N and giving her a great hug. 

‘You were so brave. One day, you’ll be able to stand up to that old bat.’ He whispered, voice full of pride. 

Y/N relaxed, realising that Sirius did not think any less of her for having his mother as her boggart. In fact, he was more worried about whether or not his cousin would be able to handle her own. 

James and Remus followed suit, both giving Y/N a pat on the head whilst Alice looped her arm around Y/N’s, leading her out of the room.

The rest of the day went rather smoothly. Y/N hadn't encountered any other boggarts or frightening creatures, nor was she called on to speak. As all her classes finished, she had an hour of down time that Sirius and her had decided earlier to appoint as their essay time.

Y/N made her way through the sand stone corridors, making a note that dinner was in an hour and that she should probably go visit the kitchens again. She missed the fragrant smell of baking cookies and icing.

As she lightly stepped into the library, making sure not to alert Madam Prince of her presence. It was easy to find a seat, seeing as it was only the first day back and most people had opted to spend the day reconnecting with friends.

Y/N smiled, she could have the whole desk to herself for once! (at least until Sirius came.)

Placing her books onto the well worn dark oak desks, she walked over to the shelves of books and began her search for a copy of “Book of Potions.”  Y/N’s eyes darted along the book's spines, making a swift assessment. It wasn't here. With a great pout, she left the B section (The book was written by potioneer, Zygmunt Budge.) and slumped back over her desk. How had someone beat her to the book? There was no one else from fifth year here apart from herself!

‘Looking for something?’ A low, smooth voice interrupted her mini tantrum.

‘Sirius!’ She looked up, looking startled. 

‘Why the tone of surprise?’ He grinned down at her, ‘Did you think I would be late?’ He took a seat next to her, book in hand.

‘No,’ Y/N shook her head, ‘It’s just that,’

‘Mind if I join you?’ Another voice interjected, slightly higher, smoother and calm.

Y/N cocked her head to look at the person behind her cousin. ‘Remus?’

The boy flashed a shy, but pretty smile at Y/N, ‘Y’know I’m surprised you’ve let me an’ James talk to you. I’d expected you to ignore us. Of course, Lily and Sirius talk about you all the time and they’ve only ever had lovely things to say.’  Remus rambled nervously, taking his seat to the left of Y/N while Sirius took the right.

‘That's why James and I were so familiar with you. I hope it didn't make you uncomfortable.’ The boy finally finished, seeming slightly anxious at her response.

‘It’s the same for me,’ Y/N beamed, ‘Lily says you’re quite calm and that I would probably like studying with you.’ She unpacked her quills and continued, ‘I also know you’re about to take my top spot in transfiguration if I’m not careful!’ She teased, letting him know she was perfectly comfortable.

‘That’s my girl.’ Sirius ruffled her hair, exceptionally proud that she was finally talking to people she usually didn’t. 

Remus’s ears were flushed red at Y/N’s compliment. It was true that Remus was actually quite talented in spells. But he was sure he wasn’t coming quite as close to first in class as Y/N was making him out to be. Lily had been right, Y/N really was quite loveable.

‘Oh! I also hear that James is an exceptional flyer?’ She hummed, flipping through the potions book that Sirius had given her before. ‘He seems nice, I do like the funny things he does when he moons over Lily.’ Y/N let out a quiet giggle. 

‘You have to hear about that quite a bit don’t you.’ Remus laughed, knowing his friend’s unsuccessful attempts to charm the red haired girl.

‘I don’t even think she likes men.’ Sirius mused, to which Y/N raised an eyebrow with a knowing smile.

As they continued to chat, Y/N and Remus had begun on their essays, Peter had joined them at some point. For the first time in a while, she felt safe with people who weren’t her Gryffindor girls. It was a welcome feeling. Secretly, Y/N hoped that this would last until graduation or even further. A fool’s hope really. As they continued to work, Remus had asked her how she was able to write to such a high standard. Y/N simply replied that she referenced fiction, non-fiction and textbooks and used their writing styles to improve her own. 

Soon, the small group’s work was interrupted by a sort of,… growling noise. Y/N looked up, meeting Sirius's eyes.

‘Dinner time?’ She whispered, attempting to hold back her laughter and somewhat failing.

‘Yes please!’ he replied, unashamed of his loud complaining stomach. 

Making their way to the great hall, Peter led the way while chatting with Sirius about how he wanted to buy some licorice wands on their first visit to Hogsmead. Remus was walking slightly behind her, his shoulder brushing against her back. 

‘You’ll sit with us right?’ 

Y/N’s lips drew into a thin line as she looked at his pleading face. His eyes were wide and brown, sort of akin to a puppy begging for pats. Her resolve was quickly shaken. If it wasn’t obvious now, Y/N had a weakness for pretty things.

‘Yeah but only if I don't have to-’

‘You’ll sit between me and Sirius, or Lily, or one of us. Don’t worry.’ Remus said cheerfully,  gently putting his hands on her shoulder. She could have shaken him off if she wanted to, but she found that she rather enjoyed the affection of her new friends.

Approaching the table, James called out from his seat, ‘Oi, I’ve got news, Gryffindor tryouts for the quidditch team are tonight, right after dinner! You lot wanna come watch?’ He said, before spooning some pumpkin soup into his mouth. The rest of the 5th year girls were there, waving at Y/N excitedly.

‘Chew with your mouth shut mate.’ Remus grimaced.

‘Im swallowing. It's just soup.’ James pouted, before spotting Y/N.

‘Hey,’ he patted the empty seat next to him, ‘Come sit!’ 

His enthusiastic greeting was hard to ignore. She took the seat beside him cautiously, giving Lily a ‘what is going on’ look. Lily nodded encouragingly whilst Dorcas slid a dish containing all her favourite foods over to Y/N. 

‘You guys are the best.’ She whispered to the girls, happily picking up a fork and beginning to dig in.

‘Right, Y/N I’m going to be trying out to be a keeper.’ Marlene said with gusto. ‘You’ll come with Lily and the girls to watch me sweep the competition won’t you?’ 

Y/N made a non committal noise, too busy revelling in the taste of the food that Dorcas had given her.

‘Wait, how come try outs are so early this year?’ Sirius asked, reaching for a drumstick and putting one in Peter’s plate and then grabbing another for his own.

‘Well, I want to get a headstart on the rest of the teams.’ James shrugged. ‘Early bird gets the worm.

‘Merlin's beard James,’ Y/N looked up at the curly haired boy with wide eyes. ‘Are you Quidditch Captain this year?’ Her shyness suddenly forgotten in her surprise.

James flushed slightly at her revelation. Usually he would have taken it straight to his ego but somehow the wide eyed look from Y/N left him feeling rather shy.

‘Yeah, Minnie told me just before my last class so I told her we would hold tryouts tonight.’ He shrugged humbly, somewhat unnaturally. ‘She said would make sure everyone knew by dinner.’

Lily raised her eyebrows. Since when did James Potter know how to take compliments gracefully? She turned to glance at her friend, who was congratulating James on the title and smiled. It seemed as though Y/N was a good influence on him. She turned to Alice and nudged her, nodding her head in Y/N’s direction.

‘Wouldn’t it be great if Y/N was always around? Then we’d not only have our girl with us, James wouldn't be such a cocky prick all the time.’ 

With that, both witches dissolved into fits of giggles.

~~~

With dinner finishing, Y/N had hesitantly agreed to come watch the Quidditch try-outs. The reason? Lily had promised to stay beside her with Sirius all night. (and promised her a chocolate frog.) The group took the path from the great hall to their portrait hole, expertly navigating the moving stairs. The boys, except James who had to get changed, said they would wait in the common room.

Y/N and the others reached their room and the girls began to scramble for scarves and gloves whilst Marlene got changed into the Quidditch robes. 

Y/N looked pointedly into her trunk, she didn’t own a pair of gloves. She had hardly needed them since she never left the castle of her own free will. Sighing, she wrapped a tattered scarf that she had taken from home.

‘Y/N, sweetheart, that isn’t going to be enough.’ Marlene shook her head, pulling on her Quidditch gloves.

‘I don’t have any gloves.’ She pouted, holding out her hands for her friend to see.

‘Y’know what, you can borrow mine, and the next Hogsmead trip, we’ll go buy a pair for you together. What do you think?’ Marlene gently slipped her own gloves onto her friend’s outstretched hands, holding them after she was done. She was heavily anticipating Y/N’s answer, Y/N had never agreed to-

‘I would love to.’ Y/N replied without hesitation, bouncing slightly on the spot.

Dorcas, Lily, and Alice gaped at the girl. Had she just agreed to leave the castle? Twice in a day? After all these years of them trying, it had finally paid off! The girls rushed to envelop Y/N in a hug, tackling her to the ground.

‘Oomph’ 

‘I can’t believe you said yes!’ A very excited Lily crowed, jumping up and down on the spot.

‘We have to celebrate!’ Dorcas exclaimed, equally as joyful.

‘We will! But first, we have to get to the Quidditch pits! I don’t want Marlene to miss the try outs!’ Y/N ushered the girls out of the common room, flustered from the exchange but jovial nonetheless. She really finally felt ready after four years. She trusted these girls, and even without the addition of the new friends she had made, Y/N knew that she had wanted to make an effort for her friends this year.

As they made their way back to the common room, they were greeted with,

‘There you are! Come on now, we’re going to be late!’ From an impatient James.

‘Are you warm enough?’ Peter asked Y/N, noticing her dishevelled scarf.

‘I think so?’ Y/N looked at the end of her fraying scarf before suddenly it was being unwrapped from her neck.

‘Here, you can borrow mine.’ Sirius instead, coiled his own warm scarf around hers, then reached for James’s and tugged it off him.

‘I’ll just take Jamie's!’ He snickered while James protested. 

‘Ah come on, you’ll be flying. You don’t need it!’ He gave Y/N a wink, while ushering everyone out of the portrait hole.

The merry group made their way outside of the castle and onto the path that led to the Quidditch pitch. James and Marlene chatted about the possibilities of their teammates this year. Marlene wasn’t threatened, she vowed that she would out fly everyone (Not James but she wouldn't admit that.)

Y/N and the rest of the Gryffindor group shuffled into a stand to watch, sitting down and discussing the prospects of this year's team. 

Now despite never really watching Quidditch or having an interest in the sport. Y/N could tell James was on another level to the other players. When he wasn’t showing off to his friends, he was focused, and driven. Outflying all the others expertly while handling the Quaffle, dodging and weaving between the bludgers aimed at him. Y/N was in awe.

As the sun was setting, the trials had come to an end. James had announced that he would be putting up a list soon and assured that everyone did well. He made his way back to the group where he let out a big breath.

‘Bloody hell I am tired.’ He sat down, practically collapsing. Whilst Lily, Y/N, Dorcas, and Alice were fussing over Marlene. The boys were whooping over James’s successful tryouts. James responded by saying he was sure that his team would win the house cup this year. Y/N looked up at the moon in its waxing gibbous stage. It would be a full moon soon. She wanted to remember this moment for a long time, being with her friends, old and new. Her heart swelled with emotion watching her friends interact with each other. A happy memory, one to cherish.

James and Marlene had ended up packing away the equipment and getting changed in their respective locker rooms. Y/N had been murmuring to the group about how she never really learnt to fly properly. She wrinkled her nose in disapproval, remembering her lessons with the rest of the Gryffindor fifth years. She had hovered for maybe about a foot off the ground and that was it.

‘Yeah, I don’t think flying is for me.’ Y/N said with a grim face.

‘Blimey Y/N, you can’t be friends with the Gryffindor house captain and think that way!’ James trotted over, in his school robes. He was grinning cheekily, something Y/N would in time learnt meant James Potter had an idea.

‘James! You were amazing! You and Marlene absolutely blew everyone away!’ Y/N exclaimed, half truthfully and half hoping he would forget what she had just said. To be honest, Y/N had always wondered what it would feel like to fly. She had heard it was better than apparition.

‘Has anyone ever offered to teach you?’ James asked, while the group trekked back to the castle. The rest of the people pushing up front, talking about maybe getting a late night snack.

‘Well, Sirius actually hasn’t offered before. We don’t really get that much time to uh,’ Y/N winced at the mention of their house life. ‘We don't really have much time for extracurricular hobbies back, y’know..’ She shrugged, not completely bothered.

‘Well, how about this,’ James ran a few steps in front of Y/N, stopping to face her. ‘If Gryffindor wins the house cup, I’ll teach you to fly!’ His eyes glimmered with eagerness, somehow similar to Remus’s puppy eyes.

‘Aw man. HOW do you guys do the puppy eyes so WELL?!’ Y/N groaned with a smile, rolling her eyes. ‘Alright, IF you win the house cup, I’ll let you teach me to fly and not a moment sooner!’ She teased him, bumping his shoulder as they continued to walk.

As they walked, the group ahead of them had now changed conversations, talking about how glad they were that Y/N was finally opening up to them. They had also decided that the group would be visiting the kitchens for a late night snack.

‘Y’know, you’re friendlier than I thought you’d be.’ James caught up, looking at her with a small grin. He wasn’t sure that she would have accepted the rest of his group if not for Lily and her friends.

‘I’m like this only to my friends. The girls trust you guys so I trust you.’ She gave him a small wavering smile. ‘I’m still nervous but, so far I’ve had no reason to challenge that trust in you!’ She looked down at her feet, making sure she wouldn’t slip on anything. It had gotten significantly darker.

James’s gaze softened, his eyebrows relaxing. ‘You’ll be safe with us Y/N. I promise.’

‘Really?’ Y/N said half teasingly, a sliver of hope slipped through her voice.

‘Really.’ James nudged her with his shoulder. ‘Come on, let's get back before curfew!’ He took Y/N’s hand and bound up the steps to the castle. ‘Last one back has to wash my robes!’

‘EW’ A chorus complained, before chaos ensued. The girls pushed past the boys and ran after Y/N and James, who had already made it to the grand staircase. Cries of betrayal from the boys, who were quickly catching up, rang through the halls as the girls burst into laughter. 

‘We’ll get you!’

‘Run!’

‘Nowhere to hide ladies!’

‘Nuh uh!’

Y/N laughed at the sight of her new and old friends scrambling to follow after her. This year was definitely going to be something special.

[aanhedoniaaa]

WAIT OOOMGMGM IT'S THE SAME PERSON AGAIN BUT LIKE I JUST FIGURED OUT ONE

WITH VANCE

WHAT IF FEM! READER IS LIIIIKE FANCY AND PROPER N STUFF AND HER PARENTS ARE TRYING TO PROJECT ON HER BUT IT'S ONLY MAKING HER STRESSED AND THEN LIKE VANCE HAS A CRUSH ON HER AND THEY MEET ONE DAY?????

IT PROBABLY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE WHATSOEVER BUT LIKE IT JUST CAME TO MIND

Vance Hopper x Proper Reader

Vance is definitely the type of boy your parents would never accept. Like literally.

Vance is violent, aggressive, he dresses funny. His hair is long "like a girls"

You're outfits are formal, you have class, you're well put together.

Your life seems so perfect but the problem is your parents are always trying to change you. You can't be yourself around them and you don't have a lot of friends besides the guests' kids that are in your age group. But they're all either stuck up or delinquents.

You dont like being that way but you don't hate it either. It's just really stressful trying to be a younger version of your mom.

You go to private schools, and almost never see the real side of denver.

So when you ask your parents for permission to go to public school your mom literally has to sit down because she feels like she's gonna faint.

They let you, but you're "not allowed to make friends" (like you're gonna listen)

You're school life goes smoothly, you have good grades, you're honesty well known and you have a lot of friends. (This is a time skip it wasn't all in one day just to clarify)

What you don't know is you got a not so secret admirer if you know what I mean. But you also have a crush. (Vance)

Vance and you meet when you get your locker number. And as you might or might not have guessed yours was right next to his.

You'd catch him staring at you in the many classes you both have together but you didn't think much of it

You thought it was just because you were new and whatever.

But you really know he likes you when he ASKS you to partner up with him. (Smooth, Vance)

And, like you may or may not have guessed, he asks you out.

"wanna go on a date or whatever at the movies? "

Iff you said no, why are you reading this then? If you said yes, he's screaming inside.

That just happened to be your last class before you got dismissed. So right when you got home you practically ran to your room before your parents could even ask you how your day at school was.

(I'm not one to tell you what you're gonna wear "you put your beautiful blonde hair in a ponytail. No" so you can decide what you wear. Hell, you could even wear a onesie)

And like all of my shit work, this is short and it ended. So idk. I'm Sorry if i failed u!

But basically you guys watched a movie but most of the movie y'all were talking.

[novamariestark]

Birthday Blues | Alden Parker x f!reader

Summary: When Parker's birthday arrives he starts to feel self-conscious about the age gap between you

Warnings: fantasizing (not detailed), age gap

Word count: 1545

[A/N] I wanted to post this on my birthday last week but my brain took the weekend off 😂

'Oh great, another year older' Parker thought as he woke up on the morning of his birthday

It didn’t used to bother him as much as it does now. But it does. Why?

You

A 30-year-old woman who for some reason he can’t begin to explain, fell in love with him. But you did. You fell in love with your new team leader. Parker shook his head with a sigh as he got out of bed and went into the bathroom to get ready for work. The two of you have been dating for seven months. You actually met through Fornell, and you fell in love with him before he joined NCIS. When he first started, you two decided to end your relationship and just remain co-workers and friends. That didn’t last long.

You couldn’t concentrate every day, knowing what it felt like to be in his arms. Waking up next to him or to the smell of whatever pastries he popped out to get for you.

The two of you met at one of Fornell’s poker games. You weren’t a pro but you were still good enough to win some pocket money. Fornell was like an uncle to you, Gibbs too. Gibbs was also there and despite telling you that he’d never play poker with you again, sure enough he got sucked in every time. Director Vance was there too, which was always weird for you because you rarely see him outside the office or without that stern look on his face.

This time you lost repeatedly, and they were starting to get worried about you because you made some very rookie mistakes. These mistakes were caused by the incredibly attractive man sitting opposite you. All your attention was going to not staring at him and making it obvious.

What made him so attractive to you? Was it the way his hazel eyes focused on the cards in his hand. Or the way his eyebrows knitted together as he anticipated his next move or was it the way his long fingers curl around the small cards. You couldn't help but imagine what those long fingers could do to you. How they’d feel against your skin. You shuddered just thinking about it and hoped no one noticed. Despite your efforts, the dirty part of your mind betrays you. Your heart races as your fantasies run wild and you take in every little detail, each mesmerizing move he makes.

His voice didn’t help either, it was deep and melodious. It just made him more attractive, sexier.

What you didn’t know was that he was going through the same thing as you. It’s his first time at Fornell’s poker night and the last thing he expected was a beautiful girl. When he first arrived, he was immediately captivated by you. You were absolutely stunning, with long dark hair and piercing blue eyes. As the night went on, he realized that he couldn't concentrate on the game. He was too busy watching you, and it was starting to become a distraction. He was content to watch the plays of the others, drinking in the beauty of the woman across from him. During the game, he stole glances at you, admiring your every feature, from the graceful curves of your body to the enchanting dimples that lined your cheeks.

When the night ended, everyone started to head home, or in Gibbs’ case, crash in the spare room. You and Alden walked to your cars together in silence. Being so close to him made you nervous.

The only thing that could be heard was the light noise of cars in the distance. At least until Alden broke it.

“Did you go on easy on me?” Alden smiled, a twinkle in his eye, God that smile, “Because it was my first time?”

For a moment, you were confused but then it dawned on you. Fornell must have warned him about you. You felt your cheeks heat up as you’re reminded of the real reason you tanked tonight. It was less embarrassing, so you said ‘yes’

“Well, I appreciate it, I’m not that good at poker,”

You smiled and decided to jump at the opportunity in front of you. You smiled at him and shrugged, “I could teach you if you like. Take all of Toby’s money,”

He took you up on your offer and that’s how your relationship started, a couple of innocent games that turned into something more.

The age gap didn't seem to bother you and it had never concerned Parker either, but as the day of his birthday approached, he couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious about the age gap between the two of you. You could see the worry etched on his face and it broke your heart.

The man was a pastry aficionado. He loved to bring you and the team exotic pastries to try. So, you decided to make some of your own. You used to bake all the time but, due to your hectic work schedule, you hadn't had the chance to bake anything in a while. To do this, you chose to do the one thing you hadn’t done since you were a teenager. Play hooky. A few days before, you had been dropping subtle hints that you were not feeling well. You expected Parker to be suspicious, especially considering the timing and the fact that he was a trained investigator, but he didn’t seem to catch on. But he was really worried about you.

He had been worried about you ever since. He had spent countless hours by your side, making sure you were comfortable and had everything you needed. It made your heart swell because of how much he cared, but also made you feel a little guilty as you weren’t sick. As he prepared to leave for work that morning, he couldn't help but express his concern once more.

"You sure you are going to be okay?" he asked you, his voice filled with worry.

You smiled weakly at him, grateful for his concern. "I'm fine, Alden, just need some rest. I should be okay later," you reassured him.

He gave you a gentle nod and closed the door to your bedroom as he left for work. As soon as you heard his car drive away, you got up from the bed. You quickly got changed, ready to head to the store to pick up the ingredients you needed. You grabbed your purse and car keys, throwing on a sweater to keep warm from the chill in the air.

When you arrived home, with your arms full of grocery bags that filled with everything you needed, you put on some music and got to work. You quickly put it all away and started rolling out the dough and beating together the filling, the smell of cinnamon and vanilla filling the house.

With the help of some online videos and a few of your grandma’s recipes, you had the perfect pastry dough. You spent the next few hours baking each piece, trying different recipes and attempting to combine flavors. Hours later, you were overwhelmed with excitement. After all that work, it was finally time to taste your creation. You grabbed a tray of the perfect golden-brown pastries and went to the team’s headquarters.

You took a deep breath as you exited the elevator, knowing that you would be seen as soon as you did. McGee was the first person to see you.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked concerned. Obviously, they knew why you weren’t at work but not why you were there now. At McGee’s voice, everyone looked up and followed his eyeline.

Immediately, everyone stood up, looking at you and wondering what’s going on but they quickly noticed the tray in your hands.

Torres, being the curious one, was the first to make a move towards the tray. He reached out his hand, only to have it smacked away by you. You couldn't help but chuckle at his reaction.

"Happy Birthday, Alden," you said, your voice filled with love and affection. You could see the surprise and happiness in his eyes as he looked at the pastries on the tray.

“You aren’t really sick, are you?” he asked as you stopped in front of him.

“I’m sorry, baby, don’t be mad but I wanted to do something special for you,” you smiled nervously as you gestured to the pastries in your hands.

As the rest of the group gathered around, you began to explain how you had spent the entire day baking these treats for Alden. You had tried out a new recipe and had even decorated them with his favorite color frosting.

It had been a long day, and everyone was exhausted and starving. You gave everyone a pastry, carving out some extra slices for Parker. Everyone took a bite of their slices and a satisfied “ahhh” went up in the room. Everyone exclaimed how delicious your pastries were.

Parker walked over to you, kissing your temple, 'Thank you, beautiful,” he said, finally managing a smile.

You kissed him on the lips, lingering for just a moment and whispered, “No matter how many birthdays come and go, I'm never going to love anyone more than I do you.”

[withlove-amber]

Photoshoots

alden parker x reader

(Y/F/F) = (Your favorite flavor)

Hope I spelled “güey” correctly tbh

“¡No mames güey!” (Y/N) said, cursing in Spanish when she saw the email on her personal computer. “What? What’s going on?” Torres said, slightly intrigued as to why (Y/N) swore in Spanish, rather than English. He looked over at her personal computer, and saw an invite from a wedding dress company, asking if (Y/N) would be interested in advertising their gowns. “They want me?” (Y/N) asked, skeptical if the email was actually from the company, or if she was just being punked. “Well, who wouldn’t want you?” Torres replied, trying to help her growing skepticism. “I’m going to take this to Kasie. See if it’s real.” (Y/N) said, speed walking to Kasie’s office. 

“Hey Kasie, do you have a second?” “Sure, (Y/N), what’s up?” Kasie replied, noting (Y/N)’s wide eyes. “I got this email this afternoon and I’m not sure if it’s real or not.” (Y/N) said, handing Kasie her laptop. “No way!” Kasie said when she saw who the email was from. “Sure, I can verify it. I just need a minute.” (Y/N) nodded in response. After the longest 60 seconds of (Y/N)’s life, Kasie smiled at (Y/N), and said, “It’s real, beautiful.” “But why me? How did they even find me? I’m not a model.” “You remember that show you were in, undercover? They were probably talent scouts there.” Kasie said after a minute of putting the pieces together. (Y/N) blushed at the thought of the undercover op she was a part of. “What are you going to tell them? Yes or no?” Kasie asked, seeing the shocked expression on (Y/N)’s face. (Y/N) thought it over for a minute, but in a moment of bravery said, “Tell ‘em yes.” 

In the weeks leading up to the photoshoot, pretty much the whole team knew, including Director Vance. (Y/N) had suspected Torres and Jessica were telling people, much to (Y/N)’s chagrin. When (Y/N) got back from Autopsy for an update, she noticed there was a small white box on her desk, and for a moment, she hoped it was from Parker. “I’m pretty sure it’s from Knight.” Parker piped up when he saw the confused look on (Y/N)’s face. (Y/N) sat down at her desk and opened the box. Inside was a (Y/F/F) cupcake with vanilla icing. As if on cue, Jessica popped up in front of (Y/N)’s desk and asked, “Can I visit you on set?” “Sure, Jessica, but you didn’t need to bring me a cupcake to ask. But thank you. ” (Y/N) replied, grateful for the sweet treat. “It’s an added bonus.” Jessica replied, heading back to her desk. 

(Y/N) had already invited Kasie and Jessica to the shoot, but what she didn’t know was that Jessica had invited the whole team. So when the team showed up to the set, and not just Kasie and Jessica, (Y/N) was slightly irritated. She was only irritated because she wanted to keep things as low-key as possible, not wanting to be the laughing stock of the group. And in case (Y/N) wasn’t blushing enough, Parker was there too. The man she’s had a crush on since he started as team lead, just saw her in a wedding dress. 

But what (Y/N) didn’t realize, because she was faced with her own embarrassment, was that Parker liked what he saw. A lot. When (Y/N) was talking to Jessica who immediately said, “You look stunning!” Kasie looked up and saw the look of absolute love in Parker’s eyes. Even though (Y/N) didn’t say anything, Kasie knew (Y/N) had a crush on Parker. It was the way her attention was always on him whenever he spoke, it was in the way she always “happened” to be near him, it was in the way she looked at him, with eyes full of love and admiration. 

It wasn’t until (Y/N) took a small break, did Kasie say anything. “So, (Y/N), having fun?” “Actually, yeah. I didn’t think I would ever say that, but it’s cool. I can’t wait to see the finished photos.” (Y/N) replied, smiling at the thought that her photo could be published. “You see Parker yet today? He’s wearing that suit you like.” Kasie asked, hoping to start a much-needed conversation. “Which one?” (Y/N) replied with a slight smirk. “Speaking of seeing him… did you see the way he looked at you earlier? When we all arrived?” Kasie said, hoping it was a good segue. “What do you mean Kasie? He looked at me the way he always looks at me. Like a friend.” (Y/N) heartbrokenly replied. “I’m not so sure about that, (Y/N). Dare I say, there was love in his eyes?” Kasie said, hoping her friend would get the hint. “If it was love, that would be beyond fine by me. But that’s a big if, Kase.” “Sure, (Y/N), whatever you say. But just to be sure, you should talk to him about it.” 

After the photoshoot was over, (Y/N) decided to take Kasie’s advice. Right before everyone left, she asked if her and Alden could talk. ‘Great way to start this conversation, (Y/N), give him a heart attack by asking to talk.’ (Y/N) thought, as she and Alden were walking away from the team. “So what’s up, (Y/N)?” Alden asked, gently putting his hand on her shoulder. She wasn’t sure on how to say it, so (Y/N) just said, “I love you, Alden. A lot. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to ruin what we have, but I’m in love with you. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I just wanted to-” (Y/N) was cut off by the feeling of his lips crashing to hers, and she very enthusiastically returned the kiss, and the two stayed like that for the next minute. 

She always figured he was out of her league. (Y/N) never thought he would ever share her feelings. Both in each other’s warm embrace, one of his hands on her waist, the other hand caressing her jaw, she had one hand on his chest, and the other hand tangled in his silver hair. They only grew apart when the need for oxygen became too great to ignore. He had the look of pure infatuation with a dash of lust in his eyes. “Oh, (Y/N), I have been wanting to do that since the moment I started at NCIS.” Alden said, with a smile growing on his beautiful face. “Likewise, Alden.” (Y/N) responded, her voice much more sultry than normal. When they leaned in for another, they could hear Torres say “Finally! Took ya both long enough!” Their attention was diverted to Kasie who was snapping a picture of the two, still in each other’s embrace. “Give the camera another one!” shouted Kasie. So that’s what they did. And that picture quickly became (Y/N)’s and Alden’s favorite.

[justasimp1]

Vance Hopper x F! Reader

Protective and Fluff

Bronze Medal

The arcade's lights glowed on the dark walls. Vance snuck glances at you while maintaining a strict focus on his game, his knuckles turned white as he jerked the handle to the pinball machine. He was so close—just one more pull and he would be bragging about breaking another high score.

"What the hell" His nose scrunched in disgust as he looked at you again. The grip on the machine faltered, making him lose his process. The group around him let out sly snickers and gasps. Vance looked back at the game, pushing out a string of sore loser curses. But he couldn't be completely mad– especially not when a 5'4 idiot was talking to you.

Vance grumbled, shoving in another token, restarting his technique, making slow affirmations that you'll be by his side in a blink of an eye. He rapidly climbed the point system, and more kids wandered up, silently praying for his downfall.

"You live around here?" The shaggy brunette pushed his hair back. You shooked your head, trying to get a peak at Vance between all the crowded bodies. "Maybe after we get to know each other, I could walk you home?" He smiled, the neon lights made his braces shine.

You awkwardly laughed, biting the inside of your cheek. You didn't want to hurt his feelings but you didn't want to lead him on. "I'm sorry, I already have someone walking me home" You made a gesture towards Vance, who had his tongue poked out the side of his mouth in concentration.

"I'm sure he'll understand" He didn't get the hint...? He leaned forward, placing an elbow on the space next to your head to prop his head up. "We could always go somewhere else to get to know each other" He smirked, his lips parting while his eyes flickered go your lips.

You started to subconsciously chuckle, your brain panicking for the nearest exit. "I'm not interested in you, I have a boyfriend who would definitely not understand" You placed a hand on his chest, hoping to nudge him backward.

"I'm known to change female's mind" But he didn't—instead he leaned in closer.

It was an instinct for Vance to check on you or look at you for support whenever he was about to beat another score. He grinned, watching the ball hit sounds and blinding lights. However, the cocky ego was shot down multiple pegs when he saw the same guy with you, and he was kissing you.

He didn't wait for a second, pushing past the nosy children, marching over towards you. The many groans and protests fell behind him. You felt a harsh force pull you to the side. You yelped, clutching on the closest would figure. "What the fuck" By his pale knuckles, gripping your waist, you could tell Vance was holding back.

You looked up, an apology is already on tongue. You were his girlfriend, you shouldn't have let the situation develop as much as it did. Yet, he was burning holes in the boundary-crossing boy. The boy held his hands up in defense, his smirk dropping down to a quivering smile. "She didn't say she had a boyfriend"

You frowned, your eye twitching as you were about to argue against his statement. Vance let go of you, stepping up to the guy, he wrapped his hand around his collar. The boy's body made a thump when it connected to the wall. The group that was once admiring Vance play was now frozen, muttering about the scene.

"Don't fucking lie to me, dip shit" Vance swore, his fingers twitched closer to the guy's neck. Your brain took a long moment to process the slight choking noises. You were all for letting Vance beat up an asshole but getting kicked out of another place wasn't on your to-do list.

He leaned in, whispering something in the boy's ear. "—you understand me?" Vance applied more pressure on the blabbering male. You squeezed your eyes shut, hearing a connection between flesh happen. Vance pulled back his arm again, swinging it forward. The wide bruise on the boy's cheek grew, and his body suddenly limp.

Vance dropped the boy, his body crumbling to the ground. He was in the middle of kneeling and hitting him again when you spoke, "Let's go". You knew he heard you by the way his shoulders tensed, and his scarcely head turned. Vance's arm was still in the air, his fist clutched above the guy's face.

You sighed, turning around, and making a beeline to the door.

The cold wind hits your face. Your hands wrapped around your abdomen, bile scratching the side of your esophagus. The arcade's door chimed, and Vance slammed through, a deathly sneer on his face. He was already lettering something along the lines of "Someone had to teach that prick a lesson"

You huffed, kicking stranded pebbles across the concrete. You began to walk down the sidewalk. "I saved you from going to juvie" You chuckled, the heel of your shoes scratching on the pavement. His knuckles brushed past yours.

He started a few angry grumbling. You hide your laugh by readjusting your voice and intertwining your fingers. Vance's hand was calloused and rough but felt sweaty while being held by yours. He paused his furious breathing, allowing silence to consume the moment.

Distant barks of dogs echoed down the sidewalk. The branches of trees tussled, a few leaves drifting to the ground. "Did you..." Vance's voice gets lost in his throat. His hold on your hand got tighter. "Did you let him kiss you?" The words sounded forced, making the angsty sentiment evaporate.

You looked up at him, cocking your head to the side. "He didn't kiss me. And I would have never let that happen" You deadpanned in confusion. His long dirty blonde curls were stacked on his face, so you couldn't study his facial expression. Vance looked at you, the corners of his lips curling into a smile. You would've passed the movement as relief but you knew Vance way too well for that.

"What did you do...?" You hesitated, remembering Vance didn't immediately follow you after you left the scene.

"I thought he kissed you—" He darted his tongue over his lip, bringing your closed hands to his mouth. His lips moved over your skin, a grin plastering on the back of your hand. "—so I busted his lip"

Masterlist

[rainnmaybank]

Maybe We’re Not So Different

[part 2]

vance hopper x reader

all characters are aged up, high school, please see pinned for explanation/reasoning

this has a lot of character building, mainly y/n focused, meeting vance, mainly just the build up for the rest of the story to have a good foundation to build off of.

DETAILS, DETAILS, DETAILS

third person pov, kinda long build up and slow burning, kinda forbidden love, will be made in parts.

S L O W B U R N I N G

words: 2,464

warnings: strong language, y/n and she/her used(please change to what suits you best!), drug use (cigarettes), angst, ooc vance and vance being vance(obvi), blood, fighting, injury, not fully edited work, OC’s for drama purposes, rumours.

y/n was known, not well, not deeply, simply just known. it was like everyone in that small town knew exactly who she was. Cool calm and collected, never was there ever an unpleasant emotion present on her face.

She never spoke, and when she did it was soft and quiet. People admired her for that, for the ways she walked so quietly but her presence was so loud.

y/n enjoyed being a mystery to the people living in the world around her. Of course she had her fair share of small conversations with her surrounding classmates. She often worked alongside Finney due to his shy and soft spoken manners. She’d never describe herself as shy, surly she wasn’t. She just never found anyone interesting enough.

It was saturday, meaning the local kids would be out on the town. Most saturdays y/n chose to stay home rather then waste her energy in situations she could live without, but like most parents hers wanted her to get out now and again. y/n’s parents knew she’d never go unless given a reason, so they gave her one. handing her a list of things to pick up and a few extra bucks to buy herself the cassettes she’d been asking for, her parents sent her off.

Much to y/n dismay the streets where loud and crowded, she tended to avoid those kinds of places the best she could. Figuring she could make her outing shorter she entered the local shop, the bell rang over her head notifying the cashier of her presence.

She often wondered here in the dead of night, it looked different during the day, brighter, busier and much louder. Offering a smile to the cashier she’d grown to know by the name Mike, grabbing a basket beginning her walk through the aisles.

The pings and clashing of the pinball machine didn’t go unnoticed by the girl, she did however try her best to ignore it. Picking up the things on the list in her hand she’d finally reach the back where the ruckus had been coming from. the quiet girl stopped seeing who it was, the curly dirty blonde hair and jean vest never went unnoticed by her. It was him, Vance Hopper. The only person in this whole damn town who had ever caught her interest. Perhaps it was his aggressive behaviours or the why his voice was always so loud in her mind, it could have been his eyes, how the narrowed and shot daggers into those who disturbed him.

Vance was, and is know for being the hardest kid around, not something to be taken lightly. He earned his title and continued to maintain it like it was nothing, y/n had heard about his previous fights; not all the details just a few comments here and there. She knew everyone moved when it came to him. Listened when he spoke, and god if you ever tested him you’d be drinking your own blood.

y/n stood there watching in haze, taking her time trying to figure out even the smallest detail of the blonded boy. She hadn’t noticed his eyes on her, she was now the one disturbing him, and there they where, the narrowed eyes boring straight into hers. Lips parting in attempts to explain her stare but quickly shut, his words coming first. “What the fuck are you looking at?” she swallowed tilting her head “I was watching you play, you’re good” head nodding at her quickly though of excuse.

He snarled, eyes rolling. “obviously, now what the fuck do you want?” his words laced with annoyance as he turned back to the machine, his friends snickering from behind. y/n shrugged her shoulders “Nothin’” a smirk played her lips and the angered boy lost in pong, it was her turn to roll her eyes walking behind them a smooth whisper as she passed. “I can do better then that”

Her hair swung effortlessly side to side. She caught his attention again, Vance watched as the girl checked out noticing her slipping a pack of camels into her coat pocket when the cashier wasn’t looking. Sucking him teeth he turned back to the game watching his friends trying to get a higher score.

Huffing with the bag slung over her shoulder, y/n looked at the cassettes she had picked up on the way home. She heard some girls in her bio class talking about an album so she bought it. It looked good, not really something she was into but, with all her so called risks today, she figured one more couldn’t hurt.

The day went on, it was boring. The new tape she bought was looping over and over, soon the sun had set and the clock read 11pm. y/n grabbed her walkman and laced on her converse. Sneaking out her window had almost been a nightly thing she’d adopted to her routine over the months. Typically she’d go to the park, sit on the swings for a while but tonight she had other plans.

y/n made her way through familiar streets and paths, pushing through the door of the local shop, the bell rang over her head for the second time that day. Speaking a quick hello she turned on her heels heading for the pinball machine, she had made a goal to beat the violent boys score that night. Pressing play on her walkman she began her quest.

It had taken her two hours and a few tears but there it was, she had beat his score, not just by a little but by a lot. Shuffling her feet across the floor her eyes sat heavy, waving bye to the cashier who had watched her the whole time sure vance wouldn’t be happy tomorrow when he saw.

Early noon sun peaked in through the curtains lifting from the breeze, must not have fully shut the window. y/n sat up in her bed annoyed over being woken up.

She’d gotten ready that day, a smile plastered on her face. Voluntarily walking through the busy sunday streets, walking straight the the shitty local market. A quick peak inside the blonde curls caught her eye immediately.

Quickly making her way inside she snuck around the shelves making her way over to the pinball machine. He was focused so deeply into the game trying to win his title back before anyone saw. He was angry; then again when was he not? red hot range had filled Vance that morning, questions filled his head. ‘who the fuck beat me?’ ‘what stupid motherfucker did that?’ he wanted to kill whoever had done that.

y/n watched for a moment longer. Feet carrying her towards the machine, stopping half in his sights. “What the fuck do you want? Can’t ya see i’m busy here?” he glanced her way, brows knitted together. y/n smirked slightly leaning back into his view. “Told you i could do better”

Vance froze, loosing his round looking towards the long haired girl. God he wanted to slap that stupid smirk right off her face. He had to admit you had major balls for taking over his game, but you must have been psycho if you willingly walked up to him to tell him.

He was both impressed and furious at her actions, part of him wondered how she managed to be so good at pinball and the other how she wasn’t shitting her pants right now. Maybe she just didn’t know him, you where new. No that’s impossible he’d seen her around school.

“Listen doll, i don’t know who you think you are or what the fuck you think you’re doing but you should cut it out before i beat that stupid look off your fucking face” he leaned closer to y/n as he spoke, Something he’d done to others, rattle them up a bit. y/n stood her ground, smirk never dropping from her blushed lips.

Copying his actions y/n leaned in closer. “You’re not as scary as you think you are” stepping back, Vance stood there slightly shocked over the y/h/c girls words. “Catch ya later, Vance” pulling a smoke from the pack shed stolen the other day placing it between her lips as she left the shop.

Vance was both impressed and irritated at y/n’s boldness. How could the girl who never spoke, speak so confidently to him. He hadn’t noticed the amount of eyes on him till he looked around. “what the fuck are you looking at motherfucker” his words hissed with venom pushing over a rack as he left the shop after her.

As days went on the pair shared looks each time they noticed eachothers presence, y/n wore her smirk and vance face held hard in annoyance. The week had come to an end once again, only something new had happened. Some of the girls had said some choice words about y/n. False facts circled around the school making their way to y/n during her bio class when Finney had brought them up asking if it was true.

Shocked to find the school was under the impression y/n had slept with Bruce Yamada. “That’s not true Finn, who told you that?” y/n’s brows furrowed together. “Emily Green- well Robin told me, he heard her talking about it” Finney dropped his head, ashamed he believed the rumours. y/n’s head spun, anger pumped through her veins. She hated rumours but hated them even more when they where made about her.

Finneys voice sparked again, “Bruse won’t confirm or deny them either” y/n sighed sitting back in her seat, hearing whispers from the surrounding tables directed towards her. “I’m going to rip her stupid face off” her voice stern but quiet only for Finn to hear. He looked surprised, it hadn’t been in your known character to be so fierce.

y/n stayed quiet the rest of the day, thinking of why of all people Emily Green had chosen her to be victim of her cruel behaviour. It was a light rumour compared to some of the other things she’d sparked in the past, nonetheless y/n had no patients for people like her. 

The day came to an end, y/n no calmer then when she’d found out about the rumour. A hard look rested on her face as she walked down the halls, something people hadn’t seen before.

Before y/n could process what she was doing her fist was full of Emily’s brown hair yanking her back and pushing her forward, Emily yelped quickly turning to face y/n “What the fucks your deal?” Emily’s voice rang through the halls pulling attention in ever direction.

Adrenaline rushed through the quiet girls body, her hands shaking. “My deal?” a forced laugh left her lips “You’re the one with my name in your slutty mouth” Emily stepped forward “Awe look, the freak can speak” Emily’s laugh turned to a gasp of air, y/n’s fist struck her ribs.

In a blink of an eye y/n had hit the ground, Emily took the upper hand. Feeling warmth slide down the side of her mouth y/n was quick to dodge the second strike.

Flipping their bodies y/n gripped the brunettes hair holding her head to the ground, mind a blur y/n’s fists moved faster then her thoughts did, slamming into queen b Emily’s face over and over again. y/n didn’t notice the blows emily was placing on her body.

Staff had ran down the hallway towards the shouting teens surrounding them. Teachers worked pulling the two girls apart, focusing on Emily once they’d been separated, it seemed like she had gotten it worse between them. y/n stood there for a moment dazed trying to catch her breath, looking around she hadn’t noticed how many people stopped to watch. Quickly grabbing her things she left the scene.

y/n sat at the bottom of the slide watching the stars inhaling toxins from the dart resting between her fingers wincing in pain when her lungs filled to much. Tired and bruised, her knuckles still stung.

Vance had watched her fight earlier that day, he wasn’t shocked at the ways she took and gave a punch. He did however think she could use a lesson or two on how to do it properly.

He walked the dimly lit streets that night following a different route then he usually would, cutting through the park that split two streets, uncared for street lamps flickered on and off. Noticing the figure sat on the bottom of the slide he continued his walk with confidence.

y/n’s voice echoed through the stilled air. “Well if it isn’t pinball Vance Hopper” his head turned to where the sound had come from. She sat there with a bloody split lip, smoke leaking from them as they parted. He didn’t know what had possessed him, his feet carried him towards y/n before he could process.

Brushing the strands of her hair behind her ear y/n sat up more, lifting her chin to look at Vance as he approached her. She was expecting him to belittle her, tell her off in someway, a simple ‘fuck off’ but none of that came. Instead he sat down on the slide next to hers.

Vance looked over y/n’s knuckles, she hadn’t bandaged them. Some of the cuts still oozing slowly. “You want one?” she gestured at her cigarette, “Why not, you didn’t pay for them” his voice was low, calmer then she’d ever heard it. Reaching in her jacket pocket with a small laugh at his comment, handing him the pack.

They sat in silence, minutes passed. Vance let out a breathy chuckle, “You should work on your punches” y/n’s gaze moved from the trees to the dirty blonde boy. “I think i did a great job considering i’ve never thrown one before” his eyes examined her lip “Yeah, i could tell” tossing his butt on the ground stepping on the cherry he sat forward resting on his knees. “She did some damage”

y/n chuckled “If you think that’s the damage, you’re wrong” standing up from her spot, Vance watched her confused as her jacket hit the ground. Raising her shirt, she showed him the bruises littering her torso.

His nose scrunched, looking at the colours painting her skin. “Cant even breathe properly” shaking her head putting her jacket back on returning to her spot on the slide. “You should see her face” Vance turned facing the long haired girl more “Did good for your first time, doll”

part 2

[jayfortheday]

Can you write something for Vance with a s/o who starts feeling really insecure in their relationship, like they feel like they aren’t good enough for him and he finds out and it ends with a lot of fluff?

Love your writing by the way💗💗

Not Enough For You (Vance Hopper)

Pairing: Vance Hopper x GN!Reader (romantic)

Word count: 707

Description: Y/N confesses to Vance they don't feel like they're good enough for him

Tags: crying, kisses, fluff, self doubt

~~~~~~~~~~

You smile as Vance holds tightly onto your hand as you walk the path home. His fingers wrap around yours, encapsulating them in his warmth. He looks down at you, his eyes searching your face, you’ve been off lately and Vance can’t exactly figure out why. As the two of you arrive at your doorstep, he doesn’t release his grip on your hand, stopping you from going inside. You look back at him, confused. 

“Mind if I come in?” Vance asks. His voice carries its usual rough tone, but you can sense his embarrassment at asking.

“Yeah, sure,” you answer nonchalantly, holding open the door for Vance. He nods at you, sneaking around you to stand in the entranceway. You take off your shoes by the door and Vance copies your motion. You nod your head towards your room, indicating for him to follow you. You were kind of surprised Vance wanted to stay longer, part of you expected him to drop you off and then leave. Another part was surprised he walked you home at all. 

As you walked into your room, you went over to lie on your bed and looked up at Vance, waiting for him to find somewhere. He sat on the bed next to you to your pleasant surprise, resting his head on your shoulder. 

“Everything ok?” You ask, leaning into Vance. “Or did you just wanna hang out?” Vance took a deep breath, exhaling thoughtfully. 

“You caught me, I did wanna talk about something,” Vance sighed, lifting his head to look at you. A sense of dread filled you, it was happening. You anxiously huddled into yourself, pulling away from Vance.

Vance looked at you sadly as you moved. 

“Is something going on with you?” Vance asked, trying his best to sound soft. “You’ve been acting kinda distant lately. I really care about you, I wanna help.” You inhaled, holding your breath as you looked at Vance. You wanted to talk to him, but at the same time, you felt embarrassed. “I love you. If you’re not happy with me anymore, I want you to tell me.” Vance’s face contorted with sadness as he spoke. 

“No, no. It’s not that,” you rushed to say, leaning forward to cup his face in your hands, a gesture he gladly accepted. 

You hummed quietly, trying to think of the best way to word your thoughts. For quite a while now, you had been feeling out of place in your relationship. Vance was always such a strong person, someone you loved and admired, and you often felt like you paled in comparison to him. You so often felt like you failed to live up to what he needed, what he deserved. 

“V, I love you so much, but…but what if I’m not enough?” Your voice grew quiet as your words escaped your lips. You could feel the sting of tears in your eyes and you tried to blink them away, but that only caused them to fall. 

Vance’s face fell as he heard you. Never in the entirety of your relationship had Vance, for one second, felt you weren’t enough. Everyday, he was honored that you still wanted to be with him and he was so scared when he felt you pulling away. Vance often felt like he wasn’t enough for you and now he was hearing you felt you had failed him. Vance reached up and gently wiped one of the tears from your cheek. You sniffled and tried your best to stop your tears but the dam had been broken and they didn’t stop. 

Suddenly, Vance put his arms around your shoulders and brought you to his chest, pulling you into an embrace. He leaned down and pressed a small kiss to the top of your head.

“You’re always enough,” he choked out, feeling his own emotion begin to get the better of him. “More than enough, every goddamn day.” You eagerly reached out to wrap your arms around Vance, reciprocating the embrace, you had needed so badly to hear him say that.

“Please don’t go,” you whispered, desperately needing to be in this moment as long as you could. Vance chuckled softly, pulling you closer to him.

“Not in a million years.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed! School has finally started but I'm gonna try to use my night own nature to keep writing. I'm also updating my ao3, but i will still pay attention to this blog, no worries

Also since reopening my asks, I have been reminded how thirsty yall are for Eli, I love it, it's hilarious, glad we're all horny for that basic white douchebag

[movedmovedsoup]

‘hey! love ’

robin arellano x gn! reader

CAUTION! ROBIN MIGHT BE A LITTLE CC !

you let out a small sigh as you shrugged over the messenger bag that held your groceries for the week, it wasn’t unusual for you to be shopping by yourself. your parents were always at work doing extreme hours. they weren’t neglectful no no you didn’t mind it a whole lot. in a way you liked the independence it gave you. slipping out the keys from the pocket of the messenger bag you paused momentarily hearing the faint sound of music close by. raising a brow in slight confusion but decided to ignore it, thinking it was one of the houses on the block playing some music. jiggling the key into the lock you came in with the a.c blowing throughout the home just as you had left it when you had gone. locking the door and putting your keys away and soon started to put the groceries away. as you put the lasts of it away, your eyes seemed to always trail back to the one paper bag that was left on the kitchen table. a small smile worked it’s way up to your lips as you thought about the person it was for. it was for your boyfriend of course. none other than robin arellano, dubbed ‘the second toughest kid in school’ the first being vance hopper of course. the bag contained snacks you knew he favored, you were confident in the knowledge of you knew what he liked. despite the two of you dating for a little over three months, you had been close friends for the last four years. before all the romantic feelings started to bubble over.

you wondered for a minute when would you hang out with him again. you had to admit, compared to your other friends and other teenagers in general. you definitely had the privilege to see your boyfriend a whole lot more. mostly because of your parents absence caused by work. of course they knew about robin and the whole relationship. they trusted you to make smart decisions and did take a liking to him, knowing that someone as tough as robin, nobody would give you any type of trouble as long as you were with him. so when you had announced you’d given him the spare key, it didn’t come to nobody’s surprise at all. thanking the stars that your parents approved of him because if they weren’t gone 99% of the time during long shifts and business trips, they’d definitely get annoyed at how long robin would spend at your residence. with a quick phone call he’d announce he was on his way and that was that, you didn’t mind that he did that. it just showed he was comfortable with you. realizing the small trance you were in you lightly shook your body around, finishing up and putting away the rest of the groceries. leaving the bag meant for robin out knowing he’d be probably coming over that day. throwing the paper bags away is when you heard more music..in fact it was the beginning intro of your favorite song…and it was coming from the hall..from your bedroom. immediately you could feel your breath quicken, you didn’t remember leaving the record player on. nor did you see robin’s extra set of keys hung up right by the door.

grabbing whatever you could to defend yourself as your mind didn’t seem to stop racing. clutching the handle of a pan nearby you inched towards the area of music. pushing open the semi-cracked open door with your foot, arms positioned to swing, you immediately stopped the action. it wasn’t some masked killer luring you in with a favorite song. no no, it was actually..robin? a sleeping robin at that. feeling a breeze sweep through the open window as it hit you. ‘he probably saw my window open and took the chance..’ you thought with a small nod of the fact it did sound like something he’d do. putting the pan down as you soon grew into a smile hearing the first few lyrics float into the room, the sunset seeping into the area making it glow a nice orange.

hey love..

turn your head around

take off that frown

your in love…

you let yourself admire the boy who laid near you, how the sunset seemed to cover him up like a blanket with its warmth. reaching a hand over to brush a stray strand of hair away. before you could possibly even do that, before you could progress practically anything a warmer hand had gripped your wrist. robin, shooting his eyes open with a devilish grin as he pulled you onto the bed that turned messy from how much he had moved on it. being alarmed of course you had let out a yelp, feeling your head hit the pillow with the smallest ‘thud!’ before turning to robin. mouth agape “hey-!! seriously what was that for?! you weren’t even asleep?!” giving the boy a flick on the forehead. it didn’t seem to affect him at all, instead he bursted with laughter, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he closed them with joy. holding his hands up in surrender. “it definitely took you long enough to even know i was here y’know” he teased, adjusting his body to face your own.

“oh wow i’m soo sorry i didn’t realize you were here, you didn’t even hang up the keys!!”

yes you should be lovin' me

let’s go on together

“what do you mean? i’m like 100 perfect sure i did! god are you going blind on m-“

we'd be happy

so happy

before robin could even finish his sentence you had felt a discomfort around your abdomen. furrowing brows, you scooted around reaching a hand under yourself you had quickly pulled something out from the thin comforter. with a “jingle” sound it had confirmed you were right. holding up robin’s spare keys with a raised brow and a ‘told you so’ smirk. robin let out a dramatic drawn out sigh rolling his eyes before mumbling a something you couldn’t really make out, before resting his head onto the crook of your neck. still curious as to what he had said you flicked the top of his head, his annoyed groan vibrating through the patch of skin. “i didn’t hear you, what did you say robin?” you asked once again, pride evident in your voice. with a long pause robin had answered, quite reluctantly.

“you win okay? you win i was wrong so so very wrong.”

with the smallest laugh you hummed in happiness in response. allowing yourself to fall more and more asleep, the last things you could hear was the lyrics of the song playing in the background..

wake up

in your own way

than you might say, your in love..

_______________________________________________

i NEVER PROOFREAD my things please remember that !! i hope you all enjoyed this little fic !! i just hate how many times i used the word ‘your’ i’m just addicted😭

[favorjtecrime]

Tired

vance hopper x yamada!reader

one | two | three | four

Vance looked up at you with a glare. “I don't want your pity, i told you im fucking fine so ba-” “vance please.” He went quiet. You knew him, well of course you knew him because of his reputation but, the way you said his name, it sounded real. It sounded caring, and you sounded just like how you did back in 5th grade. “Fine..” he murmured, you gave him a small smile before helping him get up and letting him use your shoulder as support. About a minute or two had passed of the two of you walking in silence until you reached the steps. It was half an hour to 6 and here you were, Y/n yamada unlocking her house to let Vance hopper in. He limped his way to your sofa and sat on the blonde leather. “I’ll be back with the medkit, let me just grab it from my room!” you sent a grin to him before rushing up the stairs. Vance sat in pain as he looked over the decor of your living room, a small recliner was sat a few feet away from the tv and you had a small leather sofa on the right side, where he sat. Your shelves and walls were covered with framed photos, some of your parents wedding day, some of bruce posing in baseball uniforms, amy getting her first pair of glasses, and you with that stupid but gorgeous smile that vance had always admired ever since he was younger. “Hey! I couldn't find the regular bandaids so I had to borrow a few from my secret stash from like 6th grade. ``You laughed a bit at the end before showing him a small box of medical supplies and a small bag of purple and pink designed bandaids with small cat faces all over them. “Whatever, just hurry up, idiot..” You smiled at him before grabbing his arm with warm and comforting hands that wrapped bandaging over the gash. “I'm no doctor, but i think applying pressure should make the bleeding stop and help close the wound” You had this bad habit of sticking your tongue out when focusing, while vance watched your face as you wrapped the bandage around his arm, he saw your tongue stick out while a corner of his lip turned upward. “..there!” you had finished wrapping his arm and were currently applying a kitten band aid to the small cuts that littered his hands and face. “If you want you can go now.. But like you don't need to if you still feel pain!! My family won't be back home for another week so I really don't mind the company.. Oh god i sound pathetic, im sorry” you were rambling, another habit that vance had witnessed you do before. “I know you're poor and can't afford shit just by looking at your house, but does your tv have good channels or something? '' he asked, looking at the remote that was placed on the table in front of the sofa. “Oh! Yeah it actually has this really good show that i’ve been watching every time i fall asleep late” you clicked the on button and flipped through the channels while vance watched you, but you were too busy to realize until you stopped at the channel. “This one runs all the way from 1 to 8! If we’re lucky they might show all the episodes in order” you said happily while leaning down onto the couch, eyes glued to the television. “I think my mom watches this, god you have horrible taste” he said while leaning back. “Hey ! that just shows that you have bad taste” You were getting comfortable with vance hopper of all people, just one wrong move and your neck could be snapped like a twig, but at the same time you didn't worry much because, weirdly, part of you felt safe with him and not threatened. A few minutes later your eyes began to droop and you felt yourself drift off to sleep, what you didn't realize was how hot Vance felt himself after feeling your head fall onto his shoulder. And by the time you woke, the vance hopper was gone, and you laid on the couch with a small blanket draped over you.

[jedipoodoo]

Hey! I was wondering if you could do a Hunter x fem/royalty reader. I've been reading the amount I could find but there aren't that many. You don't have to, but I would love it if you could. Have a nice day!

With how popular this trope is, there should be A LOT more fics of it out there 😌

PS- as a bonus enjoy my favorite HunterxRoyal!Reader by my dear @emperor-palpaminty

Notes: Escape from an arranged marriage, fake kidnapping, female reader, rekindling an old romance. Sidenote whatever tumblr did to update its desktop posting is terrible and I hate it plz put that thing back where it came from.Word Count: 3227

Let Your Heart Win (Hunter x Royal!Reader)

"Are you ready, my lady?"

Your old nanny tried her best to sound upbeat and excited, you had to give her credit for that. You braced yourself, and looked in the mirror. If this day ended the way it was supposed to, you would never be fully prepared for what each day would hold for you. If it all went terribly wrong, you would be trapped for the rest of your life, which, from the disposition of your fiance, could be anywhere from twenty-four hours to the rest of your miserable, agonizing years.

Grand Admiral Vance was not one to be trifled with.

On your homeplanet, green was worn on wedding days to signify life and joy, but the ornate green and gold robe your mother had worn on her wedding day was far too heavy and ominous for the joy it was supposed to bring.

There was a soft knock at your door, and one of your maids answered it. Your father entered, his crown slightly askew and dark circles bagging beneath his eyes.

He ran to you and hugged you tightly. You dismissed your maids, of course you would want to spend tie with your father before you were married.

"Did the message go through?" You whispered through the lump in your throat.

Your father nodded. "Avi Singh was true to his word. The extraction team should be touching down now."

Your heart raced in anticipation. Now all they had to do was break through Admiral Vance's security, which, according to your father's old friend from Raxus, wouldn't be a problem.

"It will be alright, my blossom," your father promised, "I will be by your side the whole day."

Before you could voice any more of your worries, Vance's personal guard burst into your room without fanfare, to escort the king and his daughter to her wedding.

You held your father's arm tightly. Vance's guards formed up closely around you, to prevent any of your father's men from helping you escape. none of your people were happy with the new Empire, and they knew it. Your father had encouraged his people not to rebel for their safety, but they refused to listen. Admiral Vance had been personally assigned by the Emperor to ensure a firm hold on your system, and he had approached your father with a plan. Hand over control peacefully, or face a bloodbath.

Your planet had lost so much during the Clone Wars, and your father insisted as much to the Admiral. your people were stubborn, they would revolt either way. You still shivered at the memory of Vance's eyes on you at that comment. As your father's only heir, you were present at all his meetings to prepare to take the crown one day, and Vance knew this.

He'd presented the final ultimatum to your father. The people loved their princess, and would never want any harm to come to her. You could marry the Admiral, and he would legally become next in line for the throne, or the Empire would wipe out your people from the skies.

You agreed, only for your people.

That was only two weeks ago. there had barely been time to perform any of the proper rituals before your wedding, and during that time, your father heard how one of his old friends, Avi Singh, had escaped the empire's hold. Desperate to protect his only child, your father called in secret to ask how he had done it.

By the end of the day, you would know Senator Singh's experience for yourself.

The doors of the cathedral opened with a fanfare that sounded more like a funeral march than a wedding march. The guests stood solemnly, and more than a few tears were shed on your behalf as your father walked you down the aisle. You stared straight ahead, determined to put on a brave face for your people and let Vance know that he had no control over you.

Approaching the altar could only be done with your husband-to-be. At the foot of the dias, your father kissed your cheek.

"I love you," He whispered with tears in his eyes. You tried to hold onto his hand as long as you could. If all went well, this could be the last time you ever saw him.

Impatiently, Vance snatched your hand away, and nearly dragged you up the stairs as you tried to preserve what dignity you had left. His white suit was as stiff as a tree, how could he be comfortable in that? The old priest gave you a sympathetic smile in pity, and you nodded in respect. He began to recite the old vows of marriage. Vance's mustache twitched in irritation as the mantras droned on and on, and you silently prayed that Senator Singh's extraction team was taking advantage of the time provided to them.

Then, a shadow flickered behind the stained glass windows. One to your left, one on the right, close by Admiral Vance's men, and one hulking figure in the window, just above the altar.

Several members of the audience gasped, but before any of the Admiral's men could do anything, all the windows in the chapel shattered.

Vance screamed, and you saw the glass embedded in his arm as you bent down to cover yourself. Blaster bolts whizzed overhead as smoke filled the room. You coughed as your eyes watered, blurring your vision.

"Hurry, Princess, this way," Someone grabbed your arm. It wasn't harsh enough to be Vance's men, and you didn't recognize any of the voices of your guard. It was time to go.

You nodded, and let them help you to your feet, casting aside your wedding robe. You trusted their guidance as their arm wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you through the crowd and out into a side hallway that was also full of smoke. You could faintly make out a helmet that had to be helping them keep their senses in the smoky haze, but you had to wait until they found one of their companions to offer you a rebreather.

"Deep breaths, your highness," A new voice said, their hand squeezed your shoulder as both of them helped you out into the side gardens. the overgrowth provided the perfect cover from Vance's men as you caught your breath.

You wiped your eyes on your sleeve, and coughed up some of the ash from the smoke.

"Guess Wrecker's plan worked a little too well," The second rescuer chuckled. "What's Tech's ETA?"

You blinked up at your first rescuer as your vision cleared. They had long, shoulder-length curls, and half of their face was etched in a tattoo you knew too well.

"Hunter?"

He chuckled half-heartedly. "Hey Princess."

Two years of heartbreak ran through your mind in two seconds, before a familiar engine sounded overhead.

"Time to go!" You didn't recognize Hunter's companion, but he wore the same kind of armor as the rest of the Bad Batch, so you knew you could trust him.

Tech let down two grappling cables from the Marauder. Hunter wrapped his arm around your waist, yanking you against his chest as he took the first one. You wrapped your arms around his chest as you were suspended in the air for a brief moment before being pulled aboard the ship.

"Hey Princess! Long time no see!" Wrecker grinned at you as he yanked their other friend aboard. the ramp closed just as the alarms sounded in the city below, and the momentum from the engines threw you off your feet into hunter's chest. He still wouldn't let go of you.

"You alright?" He whispered. You were frozen at the tender gesture with which he pushed your hair back from your face, as if you hadn't broken his heart the last time he saw you.

This was not what you had expected of the extraction team.

The self-proclaimed "Bad Batch" had helped you free your planet from Separatist control halfway through the war. The Republic thought your planet a lost cause, but you had begged for help to free your father from a Separatist prison. Clone Force Ninety-Nine was your saving grace.

At first, their Sergeant's complete disregard for protocol and rules had driven you insane, until he had pointed out that they were breaking all sorts of rules to even come and help you in the first place. Then they had stayed around to free your planet even after your father was rescued. There was no one you trusted in the galaxy more than the Bad Batch.

But did they trust you?

"I-I'm fine," You whispered, pushing away from him to catch your breath.

"Hi! I'm Omega! What's your name?"

They had a child with them. Oh gods, they had a child with them. And all the same, this child beamed up at you. She had the same bright, shining eyes that Hunter did, and she smiled without hesitation.

"Uh...hi?" You introduced yourself, and little Omega pulled you to sit down in one of the Marauder's old worn seats.

"Hunter says that you're a princess. Do you have a crown?" She asked.

"Ah- not anymore?"

"Oh. Well, what about a prince?" She pressed.

"That's who she was trying to escape from, Omega," The new clone said gently.

"Hunter's 'er prince!" Wrecker laughed loudly, and you flushed.

"Wr-Wrecker!" Hunter scolded, looking just as flustered as you felt.

"Hunter's a prince?" Omega's nose wrinkled in confusion.

"Echo! Wrecker! Would you and Omega help me with the calculations for hyperspace? We still have to escape the Imperial fleet!" Tech shouted loudly.

Though confused, the one named Echo pulled Wrecker and Omega into the cockpit, shutting you and Hunter alone in the hold.

Hunter awkwardly cleared his throat. "Are...are you okay?" He asked. You nodded quickly as the awkwardness sank deep into your bones.

"I'm fine."

You sat up straight, the only way you knew how to deal with embarrassing situations, but the ship shook with blasterfire and you fell out of your seat and on top of Hunter, sending both of you sprawling onto the floor.

Wrecker sprinted from the cockpit, leaping over the two of you as he pulled himself up into the gunner's tail.

"Sorry! Tech said not ta interrupt ya so you could talk but we gotta get rid of these fighters!"

"Since when was Tech giving the orders?" You shook your head, running a hand through your hair.

"He's not," Hunter grumbled. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, pulling both of you to your feet. He sat you back in the seat and pulled the crash webbing over your head before settling in the seat next to you.

"Hunter, are you okay?" You asked. The ship shook again, and you gripped the bar with all your strength.

"Tech, how much longer until we can jump?" Hunter shouted. He ignored your question.

"We just have to clear this Venator-" the ship jerked to the side to avoid a collision.

"Hunter, I just want to say-"

"Echo, Omega better be strapped in-"

"She's fine, Hunter!" Echo snapped back.

"Hunter, for the love of force would you just look at me!?" You screamed.

The ship lurched forward into hyperspace, and you discovered your crash webbing was not as secure as it should have been. You fell from the seat again, but before you could crash onto the floor, Hunter was free of his restraints and caught you, braced between the rows of seats.

Both of you breathed heavily as the ships interior glowed with the familiar blue of hyperspace, unable to look anywhere but at each other.

"Is everyone alright back there?" Omega asked innocently.

You and Hunter scrambled back to your feet. Instead of meeting his eyes, you fixed your gaze on the doorway.

"Thank you, Sergeant," You said.

Hunter sighed. "Anytime, your highness."

He was annoyed. the only time he used that title with you was when you were driving each other insane. He definitely didn't like the idea of coming to rescue you after everything that had occured between the two of you. Might as well make it worth his while.

Tech appeared in the doorway, and glared past the two of you. Wrecker was still watching from the gunner's tail. At Tech's silent scolding, he slowly edged past the two of you and into the cockpit. The door slid shut again, and you were once more alone with Hunter, though it was clear that neither of you were happy for it.

"My father gave me the comm frequency for Senator Singh. As soon as we get somewhere safe I'll give him the signal to wire whatever price you name."

Hunter's eyes shot to yours, burning with fury.

"You think we came to get you...all because of money? You really think so low of me, your highness?"

You shrugged instead of trembling under his gaze, and folded your arms.

"Why else would you? You have no connections with me and my people anymore."

Hunter shook his head, and chuckled half-heartedly. "Of course, it's always about your people with you."

"It has to be! That's my job, I'm a princess, I can't just do whatever I please, I have a duty to my people just like you have a duty to your brothers!"

"And a fine mess that got you into. Tell me, is Admiral Vance as terrible a kisser as he looks?"

You slapped him, the skin of his cheek reddening beneath the tattoo. The sound echoed in the hold as you both gathered your thoughts.

"I'm sorry," He whispered, "That was uncalled for."

"It certainly was," You wrung your hands to ease the sting in your palm, but Hunter caught it. He always caught your nervous habits.

"Do you want help with that?"

"You've done enough," You huffed.

All the same, Hunter pulled the scanty medikit out from underneath the bench. There wasn't much in there, but he pulled out a half-empty tube of bacta, and squeezed a drop onto his finger. He held out his hand for yours, and you let him see it.

He wiped the bacta onto your palm, and then took your hand in both of his, using his thumbs to massage the gel into your skin. It was a familiar technique, and it almost brought you back to a camp in the mountains, hiding from prying eyes in the shadows of a campfire. Even after the bacta was gone, he continued to hold your hand, and you let him.

"Do you remember the night we took back the captial?" He asked suddenly. You looked up, but Hunter was still looking at your hands.

"Yes?"

"The celebratory fireworks were too loud for me, so you brought me into the cellar of the palace, where it wasn't nearly as loud."

You nodded carefully, "I told you how I always used to sneak down there when I was hungry-"

"-And I was surprised that Proper Miss Princess had ever broken a rule in her life." Hunter chuckled. The anger was gone, but his eyes still seemed to glow when he looked up at you.

You pulled your hand from his grasp, and took the bacta from the kit.

"You need some on your cheek." Hunter didn't protest as you gently nursed the wound you had given him. It wouldn't leave a scar or anything, but Hunter's senses made him sensitive. You bit your lip at the guilt that swamped your stomach, and then Hunter gently wrapped his hand around your wrist.

"I think about that night all the time," He confessed.

You froze. You did too, but you would never tell him that. It was the last night you had to be free of of societal conventions and classes before you were officially a princess again. You had held his head in your lap, carding your fingers through his hair as he sang to you. In the darkness, alone, with no nosey eyes watching your every move.

And then he'd kissed you.

He'd kissed you and you'd never wanted it to stop, you would have traded the entire galaxy for him.

The day following that had been a nightmare. You remembered yourself. You remembered why you could never be with him, that having him would come at much too high a cost for your people. You jumped back from him and tossed the bacta back into the medikit.

"I'll go ask Tech how far we are from the meeting point."

You tried to make a break for the cockpit, but Hunter grabbed your harm and held you tightly.

"That was the night you told me you loved me."

You were silent.

"Did you mean it?"

"No." you answered too quickly. Your entire body revolted at that answer. Your legs quaked and your eyes burned. Why did you feel this way? You had years to come to terms with this reality. You could never have Hunter. You could never truly be his, not while the millions of people of your planet depended on you.

Hunter knew you were lying.

"Princess," He begged, "Tell me the truth."

You took in a shuddering breath. "I told you the truth."

"No," He shook his head, and came around to face you again, "You told me what everyone expects you to say, because you're a princess and you have to do the right thing.

"Now tell me again. What do you say?" He asked.

A lump swelled in your throat and your eye squeezed shut, but you could still feel Hunter in front of you.

"What do you say?" He repeated, and you could feel his lips ghosting against your forehead, "The woman who never lets anyone see that they got the best of her, the woman who can take out three super battle droids with one bolt, the woman who's always put an entire planet above her own needs, a woman who told off General Grievous when he threatened to chop off your head, the woman who will sit beside you until you fall asleep at night because you had a nightmare. The woman I-"

"Yes!" You gasped, you couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Yes, Hunter, I love you."

When you looked up at him, Hunter almost looked surprised that you had actually admitted it.

"You mean it?" He whispered, caressing your hair. His lips were an inch from yours.

"I do."

He held the back of your head, and you clung to the lip of his chestplate as his arm circled your waist, pulling you in for a kiss that was long overdue. Your hand slid up behind his neck, entangling in his hair. It was just as soft as you remembered it. He groaned softly into your mouth as you tugged, and he pulled you even closer.

"I love you," He whispered against your lips.

"I missed you," You said shyly.

He chuckled softly, "I missed you more."

You rested your head against his chest, and he gently swayed back and forth with you in his arms.

"Hunter?"

"Yes?"

You squeezed Hunter's arm, "Thank you. For saving me from doing the proper thing for once in my life."

He chuckled, and gently kissed your forehead. "Anytime, Princess."

You still had no idea what your next move would be, but now you knew that you weren't going to have to do it alone.

[vainvenus]

Hi👋👋👋You could write a Finney x Male Reader fanfic where Finney is a secret admirer of the reader and he always sends love letters decorated with sweet words - because he couldn't say that to the reader in any parallel universe - and he puts them in the reader's closet discreetly. Finney was confused by having such deep feelings for another boy and as much as he and the reader talked a lot, Finney feels hurt by the possibility that the reader would be disgusted with him and push him away:(( (the 70's were shit)

But one day, when Finney went to put another love letter in the reader's closet when no one was around, his bullies showed up and ripped the letter out, cursing him and talking about how disgusting and despicable he was for liking guys, and too, ended up reading the letter aloud and everyone at school makes a around above them and Finney hyperventilates and starts to cry a lot. Everyone is laughing at him or cursing him with homophobic words and other things. Poor Finney😕💔. Things only got worse for him when he saw the male reader showing up and watching his humiliation. Poor thing, he panicked:((Finney was so passionate about the reader and didn't want to spoil it, so he doesn't care too much about the risks of having put several adorable little letters in his closet. Many people at school knew that the reader had a secret admirer and wanted to find out too. Many girls flirted and liked the reader explicitly because of his personality and for being very handsome and full of talents😄

The reader is very popular, docile, pleasant, sympathetic, friendly, kind, calm and very polite. He and Finney met when the reader 'saved' him from the brawl at the arcade Vance was at and scared Finney lol

⌲;꒰ Love, Your Secret Admirer. ꒱

Pairing(s): Finney Blake x Male!Reader

Summary: Finney has a huge crush on you but he could never say it to your face or even talk to you normally so he resorts to love letters.

Includings: Homophobia, use of slurs, (THAT I CAN RECLAIM), bullying, violence and blood, panic attacks, lots of fluff

An: Ahhh I love this request so much and I also love Finney and definitely wanna write for him more

Finney knew that he liked you...well, everybody liked you.

Who wouldn't?

You were that well known pretty boy. Popular with the ladies and every single boy wanted to be friends with you or wanted to be you.

You were just also extremely likeable, it was hard to find any way to help you. You were helpful to others and not once had you ever gotten angry at somebody or rose your voice. You were pretty chill and very humbling to yourself unlike most popular kids.

He remembered when you first met you were there to help him from almost getting in the mix of a fight at the Grab-And-Go.

It was like he was stuck frozen as Vance was grabbing the boy that bumped into his game and he didn't he move when Vance was pushing the boy a little too close to him.

Thankfully you were there, grabbing him by his shoulders to move him out of the way before he got caught up in the middle of it all.

"Woah, you good there? That could've been nasty." You had chuckled, a sound that made his heart skip a beat as he slowly nodded his head.

And since then Finney had just liked you, but he didn't like you like how those other boys liked you. Finney didn't like you in a "Hey, let's hang out!" way...no.

No, Finney liked you in a crush kind of way. He would find himself a stuttering mess whenever he tried to talk to you even if it was the simplest thing like asking for a pencil.

But he could never bring himself to ask you out.

One, because he was him. He was that scrawny quiet kid that everyone either picked on subtly or full on kicked his ass because they knew he couldn't fight back.

Plus, he just thought he wouldn't be a good match for you, he thought maybe you would like someone who...who wasn't a boy.

Now don't get him wrong, you probably didn't have a hateful bone in your body but what if you found him disgusting for liking boys? And told everyone so that he could be an even bigger target?

Or maybe you wouldn't tell anyone but would just look at him like he was a squished bug on your new pair of shoes and ignored him for the rest of the year, treating him like a plague?

So Finney resorted to love letters.

When he gave you the first one he was nervous, his hand shaking so bad that he could barely slip it through the cracks of the locker but he did and ran away before the halls stated getting crowded.

And he thought that you would throw it away, tired of getting love letters at this point but when he saw you smile and put it back into your locker he was elated.

So he kept writing them.

He would write them the night before at home, pouring out his feelings or anything he wanted to say to you throughout the day that he couldn't.

He would dot his eyes with a heart instead of the usual way and he would always seal in it an envelope with a blue heart sticker.

And everytime he got to school early so nobody would see him put it in there then he would go on with his usual morning routine before returning back to his locker which was few down from yours to catch you reaction.

And each time you reacted with a smile almost bigger than the last and you kept every single one, placing them back in your locker and you even had a few hung with a magnet.

At this point almost everyone knew that you had a secret admirer and a lot were wondering who it was and if they would ever admit it was them.

He overheard your small group of "friends" talking about it at lunch.

"Don't you wanna find out who it is? She could be really ugly or-"

You shook your head "I don't care about all that. Whosever writing these must really like me and I'm thankful for the time they put into these letters."

Finney had the stupidest smile on his face the whole day because of this, all because you were thankful for his letters.

See it was all going well, no one knew that it was him and you were happy because of his letters. It was all good.

But all good things can't last forever.

♡

Finney held his notebooks, your usual letter placed above them as he had that small almost stupid smile on his face as he was making his way to your locker.

That was before he had felt a sudden force on his back, knocking him down to he ground and scattering the notebooks and letter across the floor.

He groaned as he looked over his shoulder to see Matty, Matt and Buzz with smug smiles on their face as they stood above him.

"What's going on, Noid?"

"Yeah, the geek club doesn't meet until after breakfast."

Finney had narrowed his eyes, biting on the inside of his cheek before his eyes glanced back over to the envelope and a wave of panic washed over him.

Matt had noticed this, his eyes glancing over at it and as he noticed the blue heart his eyes widened when everything was starting to click.

"No fucking way.."

He snatched the envelope from the ground before Finney could reach to get it and he quickly stood up as he noticed that more people were starting to fill in the hallway.

"You're the secret admirer?"

Finney's voice was caught stuck somewhere in his throat as his eyes darted around in a panic when Matty's voice was starting to catch the attention of other students.

"Hey everyone! Get a load of this!" Matt exclaimed, waving the letter in the air with that same smug smile on his face as he glanced back at Finney before back to the crowd.

"Finney the fag has a crush on [Y/n] [L/n]!"

At that time Finney felt like his entire world was crashing down in front of him, he already had a rumor spreading around that he had liked boys but now there was no denying it.

Finney thought it couldn't get worse until he saw Matt rip open the letter, crumbling up the envelope and tossing it at his head and he had scrambled to snatch the letter from his hand but Matt had pushed him back onto the ground.

Matty waved the paper around "Uh-uh. C'mon, let's hear your gross little feelings, yeah? Let's let the whole school hear it in fact."

He cleared his throat as he began reading the letter in an overly sweet tone;

"Dear [Y/n], I love you. And I know I say this in every letter but today I really mean it."

And it only got worse as people were beginning to get closer, circling around him and he didn't know if his heart pounding against his chest was louder or his racing thoughts.

"You're just really likeable, everything about you I can't think of one thing about you I don't like. I like your hair, I love your smile and I adore your laugh."

As he looked around he could see that people were either laughing at him or looking at him in disgust, it was all too much.

"One day I really hope I'll find the courage to tell you who I am but with the way things are I don't wanna ruin this, so-"

"Hey, what's going on?"

It had started to get silent and at this point Finney was already biting on his tongue to hold back the urge to cry, being a crybaby and a fag would be pretty embarrassing, huh?

But he couldn't stop the tears from falling once he realized that that voice belonged to you as you had made your way through the crowd, eyes glancing down at him in confusion before back at Matt.

"We found out who your little secret admirer is." He said, pressing the letter against your chest.

Finney couldn't breath, he felt like he was stuck underwater and left to drown. No matter how hard he was trying he couldn't get his breathing back at a normal pace as he stared up at you, fear washing over his face.

He didn't want to stay long enough to see your reaction, he already knew what was going to happen next and his body couldn't take anymore humiliation for the day so he quickly stood up on his feet even though his legs felt like they were going to give out on him and made a run for the bathroom.

You watched as he had ran away and you looked back down at the letter before back up at the crowd with your brows furrowed.

"All of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with all of you?!"

Matt's brows knitted in confusion "W..What? Don't tell me you're actually standing up for that fa-"

But he didn't get to finish that sentence before you had punched him straight in the nose and he stumbled back, hand slapping over it as you and plenty others could already see blood was dripping from it.

Gasps came from the crowd, you were usually one who liked solve situations without violence and no one had really ever seen you this angry before.

"Say that shit again and I'll break your fucking nose, do you understand me?"

He nodded slowly, him and his other friends running away from the crowd, either to nurse or to a different bathroom to clean up Matt's nose.

You turned back to the crowd, inhaling and exhaling through your nose as you narrowed your eyes at everyone who was looking at you like you just murdered someone.

You pushed past everyone who wasn't moving out of the way already, picking up Finney's stuff and placing it in his backpack as you made your way to the bathroom that Finney had ran to moments earlier.

As you walked inside and you could hear sniffling and sobbing coming from the far stall on the right.

"Hey...Finney"

"Go away.." He mumbled, his voice sore from all his crying.

"Can we talk? Please...just...open the door, yeah."

You were only met with silence- well that and the sound of Finney sniffling.

You didn't want to go under the stall, not knowing when the last time the janitors cleaned that bathroom was so you had stayed put in front of the door.

"I'm not..I'm here to belittle you or tell you you're gross for having a crush on me if that's what you think.."

"You're not?" He asked in a soft tone, most likely because if he tried to be any louder it would sound like a squeak toy

You nodded "Yeah! I don't really like all that boys can't like boys or girls can't like girls crap, it's stupid."

"Besides..." You shrugged. "I didn't care if a boy or girl wrote those letters because all I cared about was how sweet the person must be."

Finney finally got up and opened the stall door but just a crack as he made eye contact with you, eyes still red and face still wet from crying.

"Really?"

"Really."

Finney opened the bathroom door all the way and you had chuckled, looking at him as you grabbed the sleeve of your shirt to wipe at his face.

He sniffled, glancing down at the floor as you moved his hair from his face in attempts to make it look a bit more tidy before handing him back his backpack.

"So how about this, we hang out after school, yeah? Anywhere you wanna go."

He stared at you with wide eyes "R..Really?"

"Yeah! I mean, I have a lot to know about my secret admirer since you basically know everything about me."

Finney chuckled at this as he fiddled with his fingers and nodded "We could go get some ice cream but I have baseball practice after school, so-"

"I'll stay by and watch them we can go."

He knew that you weren't going to take no for an answer so he had just nodded along, looking up at the speakers as the bell hang rang for first period.

The bell had rang and you had waved Finney goodbye, turning on your heel to leave the bathroom before you rushed back to place a kiss on his cheek before waving goodbye again, this time more enthusiastically.

"Bye, Finney! Catch ya later!" You said, knowing you would either catch him in the hallways or the few classes that the two of you had together.

"Let me know if anyone gives you any trouble because I swear to God I'll kick their ass."

He nodded, watching as you left and Finney was standing there with a stupid smile on his face as he rubbed his hand over his cheek where you had kissed him.