#admin fry

[destielmemenews]

"The pardon means Hunter Biden won’t be sentenced for his crimes, and it eliminates any chance of his being sent to prison, which was a possibility. Once the judges overseeing his cases are notified of the pardon, they’ll likely cancel the sentencing hearings, which were slated for December 12 in the gun case and December 16 in the tax case.

Biden said in the statement that he decided to issue the pardon because his son was “selectively, and unfairly, prosecuted,” saying that “Hunter was treated differently” from people who commit similar crimes."

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[tinylargeplanet]

- “ THE ORB OF DREAMERS ” -

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN ABANDONED.

[sonsband]

my boss called me to remind me I needed to come in to finalize my paperwork and then said it sounded like he'd just woken me up. does every dude have to come for my vocal fry.

[19burstraat]

ketterdam dashboard simulator

goedmedbridge420

who up boeking they canal

10,345 notes

drydens follow

I can't believe some of you log on here and thirstpost about barrel vagrants. it makes me so sick. these men are the very pits of society and have never honoured ghezen a day in their lives. there are so many other young men who make their living in a reverent way. have some dignity.

#ghezen #inghezenssight #ghezenhonouring #churchofghezen #handofghezen

2 notes

kooperomno1fan

lionsroar12 follow

omg HOW is kaz brekker winning this he's SO problematic he's not even good for the economy he killed members of his own gang and kidnapped councilman van eck's son

dregsundrained

cranky coz your gang fell apart aren't you

17,860 notes

oskervoexchange follow

guys is this a mandela effect or what bc I SWEAR this painting used to be in the university district art museum, I literally saw it this week??? but I went today and it was GONE?????? there wasn't even a plaque?? guys pls I'm so confused why is everyone acting like this is normal for ketterdam? do priceless antiques just VANISH? am I being gaslit?

450 notes

stadhall-clerking

guys I'm so sorry I've been MIA :( I found out that my landlord was using my rent on the staves rather than fixing my black mould problem so I pushed him out the window and told the stadwatch he must have fallen and died because he wasn't honouring ghezen and got away with it. anyway I think maybe the black mould explains the dirtyhands/sturmhond fic I was writing sorry :( but I WILL finish my fairy queen of istamere meta post once I've moved into my new lodging

670 notes

dregsconfessions follow

SUBMISSION: sometimes I lie awake thinking about the time I fell down an entire flight of stairs at the slat when kaz was at the bottom, and he just stared at me (still lying on the floor), and then asked if I'd changed the beer kegs at the silver six yet. GIRL NO?!?!?!

#submission #dregs #dirtyhands #admin comment: laughed so loud my upstairs neighbour threatened to shoot me

546 notes

dregsconfessions follow

ADMIN NOTE: if the razorgulls don't fucking stop sending anon hate to this blog we'll tell dirtyhands n he'll send you your own IP address back

#see what happens you hack job seagulls

500 notes

kerchtourismboard

it's us, the real kerch tourism board, here to tell you what we're putting in the new summer season pamphlet. we got 1) three pages all about kaz brekker that end up being more of an advertisement than a deterrent 2) list of slipperiest spots in the barrel where you will fall over and get a concussion when ur drunk 3) top 10 ways to get your wallet stolen by a child in broad daylight 4) paintings of the komedie brute 5) advert for sten's stockpot 6) map of public toilets

570 notes

kerchtourismboardreal follow

we are not affiliated with any degenerate impersonator accounts who claim to be us. we are the only real kerch tourism account.

23 notes

kerchtourismboard-real follow

grafcanal smells like piss and you should bite everyone you see wearing the mister crimson costume

450 notes

stensstockpot follow

it's all 'fuck sten's stockpot' and 'I got food poisoning from the special at sten's stockpot' until you realise you don't have the money for cilla's fry, and then you come CRAWLING back to the loving arms of sten's stockpot and our special. you fucking traitors. you'll be back! you'll all be back

canaljumpings follow

what's in the special sten's stockpot

stensstockpot follow

it's a surprise ;)

bertskerch follow

nah I thought this was the real stens lmao

stensstockpot follow

bert smit you still have 45 kruge to pay on your tab and if you don't cough up we'll send our debtors to break your legs

230 notes

exchangingbabey follow

my grisha girlfriend who still wears a kefta and says things like 'nikolai lantsov is a bastard': ugh they're still debating whether or not the council of tides should be able to control kerch shipping, I hate inter-country politics

me: I think I hauve the queen's lady

4500 notes

(insp) (insp)

[fuck-customers]

When a customer questions you on where they can locate an item in your store that you don’t carry. You apologize politely and tell them that this store has never sold that type of item. Instead of accepting this answer - they are adamant that they’ve bought it at your store. They act as though you are gaslighting them. You are not.

I once had a lady claim she bought a frying pan from us. We don’t sell frying pans, pots or any of the bigger cooking equipment. I explained that our price points don’t match the cost of frying pans and she wouldn’t accept my answer. I even suggested other similar stores that she might’ve purchased this particular pan. “I know it was here!”

🙃

Posted by admin Rodney

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

I wrote a thing... erm. @toppo-da-foxxo you asked me to tell you more about this au but this is really just the same thing but written down nicely. Hope you enjoy anyway :J

cw: major character death (uh. he'll get better don't worry?? just not here), mind manipulation, forgetting, cosmic / eldritch horror

Contrary to popular belief, Listeners are not the ‘good’ version of Watchers. More moral, perhaps, preferring not to meddle in mortal activity. They have a strict code against interfering, unlike the Watchers, which is why the Watchers were outcast. But like any of the observers, they cannot understand players.

Just as we can never understand what it’s like to be an insect. To crawl on the ground so miniscule. To be picked up in a little glass cup and moved from inside of the house to outside, by an entity so much vaster than ourselves - all observers are blind to the individuality and personhood of players.

The Watchers wanted to do more than pick players up and put them outside. They wanted to feast. Greed is what drove them to play with people’s existences, basking in the delicacy of mortal pain. So unethical and horrific that even their own brethren couldn’t stand to see it.

And thus, they were banished, and all worlds were protected from them. Millions of years passed. The Watchers starved, and started to die. Fading away into the stars, into the void, into nothing, until only two remained.

Then, Evo appeared. A server, infantile and unprotected, its admin breaking the world in a way that made it undetectable to the greater observers. Prime pickings for the hungry Watchers, desperate to feed and to recruit new blood.

The rest is history.

It has been six long, difficult years since Grian escaped the Watchers. Their torture and changes still linger as he hides. Most days, he is alright now. Happy, energetic, pesky, creative. All of the things he used to be. 

Some days are like today, and he can’t get out of bed at all. But that’s okay too. His friends are there to help him. They don’t mind. No one minds. It took a long time for Grian to realise that.

Laying in bed, eyes closed but not asleep, he hears the front door open. Sometimes he’s glad he built a little space for himself in the tall, stilted base he propped up against the side of the mountain. It’s cozier than the usual bed sitting outside with a singular torch next to it.

He is expecting someone, probably Scar, to start making food in the little kitchen area beside his bedroom. He's expecting to hear the clatter of glass and silverware, maybe something frying in a pan. Just like every day like this, where he just can’t bring himself to move. The friendly sound of pots and pans, gentle humming, or a light one-sided conversation, usually pull him into a nice sense of comfort... but he doesn't hear that. He doesn't hear any footsteps, or any calls of his name, or- 

He is tempted to open his Eyes, just to look around. 

And it is when he has this thought, that a siren starts blaring. Across the server, a droning tone moves up and down the register, whining and wailing its warning song. It penetrates every single chunk, from the nearby shopping district all the way out to the world border. Every hermit hears it, and every hermit knows what it means, despite never hearing it before. 

There is an intruder on the server. A powerful and dangerous one. Something has broken in, and it has an intent to harm. 

Xisuma has certain code triggers in place, set to protect the server if something like this happens. The server scans itself, locating all foreign entities. It saves its logs, and begins to record, leaving something to view after whatever is happening is over. Morbidly, it is more for outsiders than for Xisuma himself. It's there just in case ... in case they don't get out alive. A system of locks trigger, trapping all players inside the server - which can be overridden with a password, but it is more to keep whatever is invading inside, to stop it from getting out into other worlds. 

But Xisuma knows that these are desperate, inadequate measures. Set in place to make the hermits believe they are safe. Tango asked him, once, if something that powerful was able to break in, wouldn't it be impervious to any measures taken to trap or locate it? And Xisuma had lied, then, telling him the emergency systems would be more than enough to stop any threat. 

He had lied, because he couldn't simply admit that they would be helpless. He couldn't just let his hermits down. Allowing them to believe in him, in the idea of safety, had to be enough.

And it wasn't. It isn't enough. Something is here. The sirens are screaming, and Xisuma, from the control room in his base, feels dread pooling in his stomach. 

Grian, meanwhile, cannot move. He cannot open his Eyes, or his eyes. He's stuck. Frozen. In time, or in space. And yet, he isn't alone behind his eyes. There is something in his vision, something vast and all-knowing. Expanding outward to infinity. 

Lots of things, but he's unsure where each one ends and begins. They have many eyes, but most are closed, unlike the watchers. It makes sense, because all of these gods, these factions, they're all the same type of creature. They all look roughly the same. 

When the Watchers worried about losing their species, and made him a lesser one of them, it was more about the loss of their bloodline - their ideology - than anything else. 

Still, it's strange to be face-to-face with gods again. Gods he hasn't met before. He'd grown used to One and Two. Their violating gaze, wandering code that slinked across his body, infinite forms that spoke in every language and none at the same time. He'd grown used to the discomfort and terror. And when he was Changed, and could comprehend them, he grew used to their neverending yet finite presence. 

The gods before him now do not talk. They don't say a word, unlike One and Two, who said many. Mostly derogatory or uncaring things. Taking joy out of his pain. No, these ones say nothing. They simply observe him. 

On the surface, the skin, the shell that he is made of, down to the muscle, bone, organs, flesh, blood, then onto the cells, the atoms, and finally the code. Every piece of code. He feels it all. But he is used to being looked at. 

They say nothing, and yet he knows what they want. They want to kill him. He tries to plead, mentally. Emotionally. But they do not care to listen. He is beneath them. A criminal. A watcher. 

One of the groups, one of the factions of observers, seems more interested than the others. It is nothing like mercy when they decide to keep him instead. To feast upon his suffering for a while before they get bored and inevitably end his life.

It's the Listeners that take him in, the other deities practically throwing him at them in a very disorienting process. He's ripped from his home in an instant, so fast he doesn't have time to even notice what's happening. It’s a blur of light and colour and shape and time.

And then he's in the void again. A structure in the void. A god's home.

- - -

Xisuma goes on this rescue mission alone. After weeks of painstakingly trying to locate Grian, using all of his energy and admin experience and voidwalker magic, he announces that he will be going alone - no exceptions. It's too dangerous, he tells the other hermits. Far too risky. 

And what about him? What happens if he gets hurt? Xisuma tells them not to worry, but he is overflowing with worry himself. He knows what he's facing, and he knows how difficult this will be. He knows there's a chance he won't come home. 

But one of his charges, one of his hermits, is lost and alone. He knows Grian must be alive because he still remembers Grian exists, but judging by what happened - or what Xisuma assumes happened - the last time Grian was kept hostage by deities... this might be a fate worse than death. 

Scar makes him promise, under the lock and key of a vexian deal, to return safely with Grian. He's clearly angry that he can't go on the rescue mission too, blue light sparkling in his eyes. But he shakes Xisuma's hand, drawing blood with pointed claws, regardless, the singing laughter of the vex swirling around in Xisuma's mind for minutes after the fact. 

And so he goes. Journeys. He's not sure how long it takes for him to reach the outer void. Time is so different, so fragile and bendable, here. He walks, as his species suggests, through the empty abyss with ease, but he's still simply a player, and can only comprehend so much. 

Eventually, after what might have been months and might have been nanoseconds, he finds it. A strange, mind-bending prism, shifting and warping with the void atmosphere. A gods' domain. 

It is... surprisingly easy to find Grian. Upon entering the structure, he slinks through the shadows of tight corridors and winding rooms until he comes across a tiny, barred cell. 

The walls are opalescent, shimmering, while the ground seems to sway like an ocean. In the centre is a nest, constructed with wool and feathers and fabric which all appear to melt into one another. There are objects within, but nothing Xisuma could put a name to. Nothing truly familiar, though everything pushes the boundary of the real. The only thing inside he can really identify, truly, is Grian himself, curled up in the nest, wings barely folded and brushing the walls. 

He tries to say Grian's name, but the sound falls away with the emptiness of the void. It is odd, not hearing his own voice. He was so used to communicating through sign and gesture as a child, but that was a millennia ago, and he hasn't been back to the void in any significant way since. 

Still, Grian seems to hear him. He turns, jerky and sudden, to stare at Xisuma with wild, feral eyes. Animalistic eyes. 

Seeing that gaunt face, Xisuma can tell he's been here for longer than a few weeks. His hair is long and dirty, clumped together in dark patches. His body is thin, bones jutting out under bruised skin, the few clothes left in tattered rags, and the expression on his face, teeth bared... 

It’s too long of a pause. The issue, really, is that he is so close to rescuing Grian, when it all goes wrong.

In the space of a blink, he's not by the cell anymore. He's in some other room, disorientating and impossible. Before him are a series of patterns burnt into the code of the universe, and they are looking at him.

He panics. Tries to split the code between his claws. Tries to send these beings ahead of him into the dark pits of nothingness. He tries to eviscerate them, with all his power, and - of course - they don't even react.

Without words, they tell him to calm down. He does not calm down.

They are everything. They are everywhere. They encompass the entire universe and nothing and all the void and they are finite but they go on forever. A moment to them could stretch over millions of years. Even Xisuma, ancient as he is, is a dot in the timeline of their lives. 

It is absolutely terrifying. He feels so woefully unprepared. So tiny and insignificant. Like nothing could have ever mattered before this. Every part of his being is taken apart, judged, and found wanting. 

Then something incredibly strange happens. 

In one second, Xisuma knows why he is there, why he's facing down deities in a cold, soulless void. He knows he’s on a mission to rescue Grian, his friend and hermit, from the grasp of these unimaginable monsters. And the next second, he does not. 

It is worse, maybe, to be an admin, and feel the empty space where code once lived - where a player once lived - and to know there is something no longer there. Something he has forgotten so immediately, like the blast from an atom bomb, there is only a burning shadow left in its place.

He screams, and the grief comes from nothing. There is nothing. He does not know why he's here, and still knows all the same he has lost. 

They tell him silently, and with every language at once, to leave, or the same will happen to him, and his players will be left with no admin to protect them. No admin, and no memory of an admin at all. 

He feels like he has been sliced open and pulled inside out. 

In an instant, he abandons the void, heading home with the knowledge of his loss lingering in the empty space where something - someone - should be.

- - -

On hermitcraft, Pearl is pacing around her room, worrying. She is an absolute mess of anxiety, picking at her fingernails and pulling the skin there until it hurts. 

It is looking like she might wear a hole in the floor with how much pacing she's doing. The dark bags under her eyes show how little sleep she's had over the past few weeks. Her hair is unwashed and messy. Her room smells stale. 

And then, in an instant, she has no idea quite what she was worrying about at all. The anxiety lingers, but when she tries to remember what caused it, she comes up blank. Entirely blank. Like nothing was ever the matter in the first place. 

Huh. 

Well, she has shops to stock and redstone to learn, and a super secret fight club to take part in, so whatever she was worrying about - which can't have been all that important anyway - can wait. 

She throws on an elytra, and rockets off towards the shopping district. 

/// 

Scar does not know why he feels so angry. Or, actually the vex feel so angry. 

He's a pretty chilled out guy, even with the whole vex thing, so this is rather uncharacteristic of him. The vex are absolutely screaming for blood, in the way they would if a deal had been broken. They are ripping his mind to shreds with their constant screeching, shiny talons digging into the most primal parts of him and begging for redemption. 

But he doesn't remember making a deal. He wouldn’t, knowing the consequences.

Maybe he and Cub played with each others' minds again, for fun, and something went wrong on that front? He has no clue. 

Still, he needs to get some of these silly emotions out, so he shoots Cub a quick message asking for a brawl. Cub is very eager to agree, his own vex apparently needing something similar. 

Weird. 

/// 

Gem stares over the water at the other half of her base. She doesn't really know what she was thinking when she put this bit together. It fits somewhat with her little creepy fishing town, but... there's just something kind of wrong about it. 

It's not her style, for one. The builds don't even make sense with what she has planned. These aren’t themed buildings with specific characters in mind. It's like someone else added it in without much of a regard for her aesthetic choices, but... no, it's her base. 

She made this. Didn't she? 

///

Across the server, at the exact same time, everyone forgets. A space where someone should be is glossed over, blocks rearrange their own backstories to fit a new narrative. Years of laughter, friendship, and chaos are replaced - remedied - with stand-ins. 

Everyone is left just the same as they were before, as far as they know. As if nothing happened at all. 

They all just continue on. Pearl, Scar, Gem, Cleo, Tango, Joel, Skizz, Impulse. Joe, Zed, False, Ren, Hypno, Mumbo... 

Mumbo... 

Mumbo... has a headache. He reaches up to press his fingers against the back of his skull, pushing into the point of pressure with a disgruntled sigh. 

Something is wrong, and he can't tell what. He's been staring at this armour stand build for the past ten minutes, looking into the eyes of a stupid cod, of all things. There's just something about it, he thinks, that is bothering him to no end. 

He considers tearing it down and using a different mob head to represent the hazmat suited figure, but the idea of destroying the silly statue makes his head hurt even more. Like an entire part of his very soul is being torn into. 

Which is weird. Really weird. And don't get him wrong, he loves the occasional dabble into weirdness, but this is the wrong type of weird. Disturbing weird. 

There's something missing from this image, his mind supplies unhelpfully. He's a little confused by that thought. Everything seems to be perfectly in place. Nothing is missing. But it is. 

Or... Someone is missing. Mumbo checks to see who's online, and it all seems normal and fine to him. And yet his mind insists. Someone is missing. Someone so important that it is horrific he would ever forget.

That tug at his soul is there again. Just pulling, pulling, ever so slightly. Like someone is trying to break it in two.

His headache sizzles and lingers, depressingly. He grumbles to himself, and decides to bring this up with Xisuma at the next chance he gets.

Xisuma who went away for... some reason.

Well... Mumbo is sure it'll be alright in the end. Things have never not been alright in the end, after all.

[meneatyoghurt]

Brilliant show. I'm going to have to watch the play again because I tried to watch it while making dinner and it turns out my laptop speakers are no match for a stir-fry in progress. But I loved the classic tall and short duo of villains and equally classic Admin Tom rant.

Good job I didn't try and play Late for Work along with AJ though 🙃

British context of the day: Beachy Head is a common coastal (cliffs) suicide location. So...kind of sfth-relevant?

[persimmonsimmer]

This very cool post by @clouseplayssims reminded me that I have a mid-century home design book of my own! I always love getting a glimpse at what was considered peak contemporary design in past decades, and I have a feeling a lot of simmers feel the same, so I thought I'd share a few pages.

The book is a big ring-bound thing called What a Home Should Be, and I can't find a copyright date anywhere inside, but it's all about design principles for building the ideal (by mid-century American standards) post-war ranch-style home, complete with floorplans, exteriors, and a mix of photographed and illustrated interiors.

There's a lot of focus on the kitchen:

Because of course, that's where "Mrs. Homemaker" is going to spend most of her time.

Speaking of the text, it's sooo gendered and of its time you just have to laugh. An excerpt:

When you stop to consider the time that Mrs. Homemaker spends in her kitchen, it is easy to see why this room is probably the most important place in the house as far as the average feminine adult is concerned. You, Mother, have the important job of getting a husband off to work in the morning, anywhere from one to a half dozen vigorous children off to school. This means that you are busy in the kitchen starting with the very first morning moments, seeing to it that the small fry and Daddy are properly stuffed with vitamins, orange juice and their favorite brand of shredded wheat.

But it does also make plenty of good design points--see the page at top about kitchen work triangles.

An interesting element in several of these kitchens: kitchen "work-planning centers" where Mrs. Homemaker can sit down to do all the household admin.

A few living rooms and one of the exteriors I mentioned:

I love the built-in stone seating arrangement in the last of these.

And don't worry--bathrooms are not neglected:

Tile and plastic-covered countertops--the height of elegance!

The calm, strong tones of the wood-paneled walls and cabinet contrast elegantly with the plastic-surfaced counter.

Hope some of you enjoyed. :)

[dreamsclock]

“So let me get this straight,” Techno deadpans, face perfectly straight, “you’re layin’ eggs.”

( HAPPY VERY BELATED CHRISTMAS @kenjo-arts !!! you wanted emeraldduo and dream interactions or one of your aus so i combined both ^_^ i Hope You like it AND THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT. I LOVE U <333)

(THANK YOU @the-final-sif FOR RUNNING YHIS :])

Dream scowls. Under the glare and the shadow of his mask, his face is flushed. “Look,” he says, “I’m not— I didn’t even want to tell you. But–”

“But you did,” Philza jumps in, bemused, “I don’t really get why, though.”

If looks could kill, both members of the Syndicate would be dead thrice over. Instead, they remain unaffected as Dream’s cheeks turn warm enough to fry an egg – bad choice of words, Techno thinks, all things considered. He sure hopes Dream doesn’t actually fry his eggs: he really doesn’t want to get into the logistics of egg-infanticide with his dubious ally-turned-bestie.

Said bestie, however, is pulling out a clutch of eggs he holds protectively to his chest as if he expects Techno and Philza to snatch them away and begin jumping on them in malicious glee. When Philza moves closer in curiosity, Dream has a sword out before either of them can blink, unwavering and firm.

Philza raises his hands in surrender and lets out a little clucking noise. Techno thinks it’s supposed to be soothing. It sort of just sounds like a chicken. “Easy, mate,” he reassures, “I’m just looking. They’re pretty.”

“Obviously,” Dream says, half-preening, “they're mine.”

And they are pretty, Techno supposes, not that he cares much about eggs. They’re pale green and freckled with darker shades, five of them huddled in Dream’s arms. It’s impossible to tell what will hatch from them, though he sure isn’t thinking too hard about it. He’ll find out in due time, probably: one of them already has feather-light cracks speckling its side, while the others are pristine, unmoving.

…He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Dream so proud and protective over something of his before. He can’t decide if this is positive character development or not.

“I… wanted you guys to… like, hold onto them for me. For now.” Dream looks uncertain, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. In the pale light of the snow, his face is pale and drawn. “I will… come and get them. After tomorrow is over.”

“You mean the shit you’re pulling with Tommy.” Philza surmises, his expression flattening and tightening just slightly. He’s not forgotten the state Tommy had come to them in after exile: neither has Techno, who notices the way Dream’s shoulders straighten and his face grows deliberately impassive, when Philza’s anger makes itself known in the shape of one ruffling wing. “That’s tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“...Yeah, it is.” Dream allows, and says nothing more about his plans or his thoughts on the matter. Instead, he very gently and very carefully wraps the eggs in a blanket, swaddling the five of them so that only the tips of them are visible, before handing them over to Techno. His expression tightens into one of wistful yearning for a fraction of a second, before it disappears entirely behind that white porcelain mask. “I can’t take them with me, and… I don’t have any other allies. So. You know. We’re not exactly friends, but… I can pay you for it.”

Techno wants, for a wild moment, to pry the mask from his face and unearth Dream’s feelings about the eggs. His kids, he supposes.

He doesn’t do anything so lame or uncharacteristic. Rather than that, he accepts the bundle of eggs, handling them carefully, and– oh god, he cringes when one of them wiggles inquisitively. They’re warmer than he’d thought, thrumming with a quiet energy he faintly recognizes from the deepest, most inner parts of the server: which makes sense, considering they’re eggs from the admin of the SMP. Expecting anything less than slightly magical is dumb.

The aforementioned admin of the SMP shifts from foot to foot. He looks like he might grab the eggs back and make a run for it.

Taking pity on him, Techno clasps the bundle a little more securely, and offers his ally a firm nod and shrug. “Ehh, don’t worry about paying,” he says easily, “I just re-retired. I could do with somethin’ occupying my time. Even if it is five eggs.”

Philza squawks a laugh. “Never took you for a babysitter,” he teases, even as Dream relaxes fractionally, “what a career change. Never would’ve expected it.”

Techno shoots his friend a mock-glare. “I’ll have you know I have the credentials,” he says, haughtily, “you should’ve seen me before the Empire, Phil. You should’ve seen me. I was the pinnacle of babysitting, man. The pinnacle.”

“I bet.”

Dream whispers to you: so you’ll look after them for me??

When he turns to Dream, the man isn’t looking at him. He’s toying with the edge of his cloak, gloved fingers thin and shallow, and that’s when Techno realizes with a terrible clarity that Dream doesn’t plan on coming back for a long, long time.

His grip on the eggs tighten.

He’s hardly paternal, but he is loyal, to a fault.

You whisper to Dream: you have my word

And when Dream pearls away, leaving Techno with five eggs and a wonkily hand-stitched blanket, he knows it’s the last time they’ll see each other like this.

***

“Do you still have them?” Dream croaks in prison, throat slick with blood and voice hoarse from screaming. Techno wonders how long it’ll last before it gives out completely. Wonders if Dream’s voice might disappear entirely overnight. He barely uses it anymore.

“The eggs?” Techno asks, and his lips press when Dream nods. “I mean, not— not with me, Dream. Listen, I’m no Dad Of The Year, but I know not to bring five hatching eggs into a prison, alright. Jeez.”

Dream misses the rest of his ramble. His eyes light up for the first time when Techno speaks. “Hatching?” He repeats, as if he hardly believes his own words. “Like— You mean hatching hatching. Actually hatching.”

“No, no, the fake hatching.” Techno can’t keep the amused grin off his face despite his sarcasm. “I mean, they were pretty cracked when I left for here. They’re not about to start dancin’ around, but there’s not long now. Probably.”

The expression on Dream’s face is one he’s never seen before. It’s strange, wild. Hopeful.

“Okay,” his ally-turned-friend says, “okay. My eggs are hatching. So we’ve gotta get out of here.”

The firm tone is a switch from the hollow desperation he’d yelled at him before. (You were my only way out of here!) There’s determination, now, there’s reason to escape: reason, Techno knows now, for Dream to fight.

So he pushes an empty book across the scorch-marked obsidian to Dream, and offers a nod and an instruction. “Write down everything you can about this prison, Dream. I’m gonna need it if we’re breakin’ out of here.”

Dream flashes him an almost-grin, and it’s thin and exhausted and bright, and Techno watches him pick up the pen, and start to write.

***

“So.”

Dream doesn’t even look up from his dead-eyed staring contest with the wall. He just flips his middle finger in Techno’s vague direction, a silent shut up, before letting his arm fall limply at his side again.

“Soooo.”

Dream’s eye twitches. “So what?”

“I feel like we should discuss naming rights.”

“We— what?”

“Well,” Techno reasons, “it’s kind of joint custody of the eggs at this point. Sure, you birthed them—”

“That’s not how—”

“You birthed them, but I stopped Steve from eatin’ them. And believe me, that was a hard task, Dream. Almost impossible. Steve put up a valiant fight. He almost had them.”

That gets Dream’s attention. Eyes narrowing, mouth thinning into an annoyed scowl, he shuffles closer to Techno. Techno gets the impression he’s supposed to feel intimidated by Dream’s pout. “You let my eggs near a polar bear?” He demands, horror in his voice. “Techno. Seriously.”

“You remembered,” Techno beams, “you remembered Steve. Listen, you say we’re not friends, but this feels pretty friendly. I dunno. I’m just saying.”

“This— That’s not the point!”

“But no, I didn’t.Like I said, I won the battle. Steve fought hard, but I won. Good thing I’d been trainin’ so much recently. Any less and I think the eggs would’ve been breakfast.”

Dream’s eye twitches. “I don’t know why I even trusted you with them,” he mutters, antsy, “anything could happen to them.”

Techno scoffs, and offers Dream a trustworthy, reassuring look. “Dream, do I look like the kind of guy to let anything bad happen to your children?”

Dream stares dubiously back. “Yeah,” he says, “you do.”

…That doesn’t hurt his feelings, nope, not at all. He shoots his friend a pensive look. “When I get home, I’m gonna give your eggs to Philza,” he threatens, “he’ll put them in his nest. Don’t push me.”

“…You wouldn’t.”

“I would. Pass me another potato, nerd.”

The potato Dream throws at him bounces against his arm and clatters on the floor next to a splatter of blood. Techno wrinkles his nose. “Dude,” he says, “prison is lame.”

“Keep the eggs far away from Philza’s nests,” Dream warns, “or prison will get worse for you.”

***

You whisper to Philza: btw where are the eggs right now

Philza whispers to you: Why

You whisper to Philza: just answer the question phil

You whisper to Philza: where are the eggs right now

Philza whispers to you: They’re not in my fucking nest

You whisper to Philza: phil

Philza whispers to you: I’m taking them out of my nest and putting them back

Techno breathes a sigh of relief, and glances over at a fitfully sleeping Dream. “Crisis averted,” he mutters out loud, and then, “Chat, don’t be snitches. What Dream doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.”

***

And Techno’s not hurt when the eggs are the first thing Dream checks when he gets to the Syndicate. Pft, why would he be? It’s not like he’s the one that helped free him or anything, nah, course not.

“All I’m saying,” he grumbles to a cackling Philza, “is that the eggs didn’t sit in prison for three months with him. I’m not jealous, Phil. I’m not jealous. That would be crazy. They’re eggs. Not even that cool. But—”

“For fuck’s sake,” his friend laughs at him, “go inside and show him where his eggs are. He’ll be tearing the house apart looking for them.”

And Philza’s right. Dream is already pulling the chests apart searching for his eggs, as if Techno hadn’t stored them somewhere safer the very moment he’d escaped Pandora’s Vault the first time.

“Where are they?” Dream demands.

Techno nods to the wall. “I’ve been callin’ it the Baby Backrooms.” He says, proudly. “Though it’s kind of more of a Baby Hideout. Doesn’t sound as cool, though.”

A couple of swift strokes with his pickaxes tears open the wall, and reveals four large eggs, cracked but safe, huddled together in the corner of a light blue room. Dream’s gaze softens when he sees them, and steps inside, narrowly missing the bedtime story Techno’s been reading them most nights. Sun Tzu isn’t light reading, but hey, Techno’s determined to make incredible battle strategists of them yet. One of the eggs likes it the most: it wriggles whenever he pulls the book out, and he hates playing favourites, but he has to say, he’s got the most faith in that one.

“I’m back,” Dream breaks the silence to say to his eggs, kneeling down beside them and gently tracing the thick fractures along the curve of the darkest green one, “hey, hi, hi! Did you miss me?”

Techno doesn’t point out that eggs can’t talk for two reasons. The first is that he thinks Dream might actually murder someone if his moment with the eggs is disturbed. The second, slightly more alarming reason is that one of the eggs are missing.

When he’d left the room before, there had been five eggs in that room. The four now aren’t exactly inspiring him with confidence. Dream is really going to kill him if he’s lost a whole egg in the space of, like, four hours.

Dream scoops up the eggs, and turns to face Techno. There’s a look of relief on his face that’s so raw and unfiltered that it takes Techno a moment to recognise what he’s seeing. It’s like a part of Dream that had been missing during prison has been returned to him: Techno realizes with a pang that that’s exactly the case.

“I have a question,” Niki chimes in from behind them, “I have lots of questions.”

When Techno turns, she’s holding a tiny miniature version of… Dream himself.

“Mama,” it squeaks, reaching out to Dream, “Mama.”

Dream melts, right there and then.

***

“So… you laid this.”

Even someone blessed with the patience of a saint would have snapped by now. Dream, who is neither blessed nor patient, seems to be on the verge of murder someone: specifically, Tommy, who hasn’t stopped asking questions since he’d appeared at Techno’s door with questions. Four months had been enough time to solve the conflict between the server (…mostly), but it seems like Tommy’s boundaries don’t include tiny little green blobs like Dream’s newly hatched eggs running about the SMP.

“I already told you,” Dream says, “I didn’t lay them. They just appeared as eggs.”

“So you… make eggs,” Tommy says, “and then you like, you black out, and then you like wake up and find the eggs. Egg amnesia. Egg-nesia.”

Dream very visibly counts to ten in his head. Techno can’t stop himself from smirking and joining in.

“Yeah, Dream, I’m not gettin’ the science behind this whole thing,” he drawls, “can you explain it again?”

“You—” Dream splutters. A tiny version of himself with a green cloak travels by on one of the dogs, and throws himself into Dream’s arms. Dream cradles him absentmindedly. “We live in a world with a revive book and a randomly implemented three life system, and you’re confused about eggs?”

“I get it,” Tubbo says wisely, “sometimes every man reaches an age where he must lay an egg.”

“…That’s… actually not true,” Dream says, “most people don’t produce eggs randomly from thin air.”

“Who did you produce them with?” Tommy asks. “Was it George Not Found? Oh, that’s so weird. You’ve made it weird, Dream.”

“How have I made it weird? I—” Cutting himself off, Dream’s head perks up. “Hang on,” he says, “Philza’s trying to take one of my new eggs.”

Tommy’s face drops into total stupefaction. “It happened again?!” He demands. “When will the horror end?”

“What is wrong with you?” Dream groans, pushing himself to his feet and very carefully handing over his baby to Techno. “Look after Ray for me. I swear to God, if Philza is building a nest around my eggs again…”

He doesn’t finish his threat. Nevertheless, his warnings of violence are clear. Techno silently wishes Philza luck, and shifts his hold so that he’s juggling both the baby and the book in his other hand.

“I still think we should think about naming one of your eggs after me,” he says, “I was such a great babysitter. That’s why they turned out so great.”

Dream, halfway out the room, turns slowly, and gives him a very incredulous look.

“You think you were a good babysitter? So you think letting my babies play with Steve was a good idea?”

“They didn’t die,” Techno protests. “They were fine.”

“There comes a time where every man must fight a polar bear.” Tubbo says solemnly

“Tubs,” Tommy tells him, “that’s just not true. Wilbur just told you that because I wanted to see you be mauled horrifically by a bear.”

“Oh.”

“You could call one baby Blade,” Techno calls over Tubbo and Tommy. Dream laughs. “It’s not very creative, and a little hurtful, but hey, it sounds pretty cool, alright, it sounds pretty awesome. Or— Tech. I’d be fine with Tech.”

“I’m not naming a baby after you.”

Dream rolls his eyes as he walks out, but there’s a grin on his face.

You whisper to Dream: can i at least be godfather

Dream whispers to you: only if you gaslight tommy into thinking he was an egg once

You whisper to Dream: you drive a hard bargain

You whisper to Dream: it’s a deal

“Hey Tommy,” Techno calls out, “you remember being an egg? I still have pictures of you somewhere from before you were hatched.“

The look of absolute horror on Tommy’s face is priceless, and the knowledge of the title godfather makes him grin all the brighter.

[insomniaruler]

I have more ~H E A D C A N O N S~

The Hermitcraft ‘medic’

Now not all servers have medics, most private large servers do (such as Ponk on Dsmp). The medics role is to either give someone a quick death and painless if they have infinite respawn and it’d be easier to heal from the respawn than the injury. But if infinite respawn isn’t an option (once again like the dsmp) they heal people to the best of their ability. They all swear an oath to keep players away from perma-death no matter who they are. The largest servers have actual hospitals (such as hypixel).

So on Hermitcraft who’s the medic? I’m so glad you asked! I have a handful of possible headcanons.

1. Doc. I cannot stress this enough but this man is not a medical doctor. He can make stellar prothstetics but he can’t tell lungs from hearts no matter how much he tries to convince us with Doctor literally being in his name. do not let him near your broken arm because you will wake up with a prothstetic instead (yes this did happen to ren[no neither regret it])

2. Stress, she technically doesn’t have the training necessary but! She mostly heals using magic because you cannot convince that she is not a Druid. She’d be quite good at it! You would be healed but the likelihood plants rising up is small, but never zero.

3. GEM! Where’s this coming from? Well! GeminiTay has a bachelor’s in Medical Laboratory technologies IRL! So I feel Gem gets to the server she looks at Druid Stress trying her best and Doc ‘how many people can I convince I’m a medical doctor’ m77 and just sighs. She has Stress on as a nurse together they’ve been trying to get Mumbo and Etho to stop eating Redstone (because it is very toxic)

4. Keralis, resident therapist, very important on Hermitcraft

5. X, he has admin magic, enough to heal him as needed but it’d probably fry a normal persons immune system.

[dappersautismcreature]

gods i love em so much

SOME people seem to think all the girl eggs are so similar but 💀 no

em is so funny and loves hitting people with her frying pan, she feels like a mix of dapper and pomme with a hint of richas, and is definitely her mom's daughter. she's smart, emotionally intelligent, has surprisingly grown bolder since her death, but is still just a lil baby :((

anyways appreciation for every femme egg admin, its not easy to rp a young girl on the internet, where so many people seem to hate them

[eldritch-spouse]

https://youtube.com/shorts/0aU42nrNzFY?si=ysEafW_JDaB6_WtE

This but it Ludwig or Vorago, and it's their siblings that are laughing

[I love that video so much. It actually made me think of Krulu and Admin however, in a goofy way.]

The difference here is that Ludwig is still likely to at least bite you, but it's not a bite born out of anger, it's more of a "You're my person, calm me down" kind of way. Obie and Mervin like to see his brain fry as it rapidly switches from "murderous rage" mode to "excitedly affectionate" mode.

Vorago actually attempts to smooth his hair and look presentable. He's a glutton, so thankfully he only has a bit of a temper coming from his late father. Any loud laughter coming from his siblings is met with a thunderous glare that manages to silence most of them. Most. The oldest needs some level of repect, after all.

[dmercer91]

ebug’s sister, dm91

part one / part two 

pictures saved from pinterest !

blakefriarr_

liked by dawson1417, jesperbratt and 3,493 others

blakefriarr_: my brother’s an ebug (and i’m his personal taxi, so i get to make these); episode 2!

feast your eyes upon pretty country boy, approximately seven seconds after full body LAUNCHING himself into the glass where i was standing and then grinning at me like a GOON

followed by (oh) captain (my captain) nico hischier looking like he’s just witnessed something absolutely diabolical occur on the ice

and following THAT we have daws (again!) getting an empty netter and thinking, hey! what would it be like if i were a puck? he promptly had that question answered for him. amen.

view 401 comments..

jackhughes: when did this become the dawson mercer show

→ blakefriarr_: when i met dawson mercer??

jackhughes: i got no mentions in this one

→ blakefriarr_: fine. this just in!! captain nico hischier was not WITNESSING something diabolical. that was just alt cap jachary hughes skating by and creating a death cloud of axe phoenix

→ jackhughes: jachary?????????

→ blakefriarr_: that’s what you get for yelling at me in my own comment section 

username293832: honestly i think that’s just nico’s resting face at this point

username83232: is she a wag?

→ username1241212: no! she came with the emergency goaltender they keep in the crowd in case someone gets hurt. my guess is she’s just really talented at making a lasting impression 

nicohischier: there is something so wrong with you, like, fundamentally

→ blakefriarr_: yeah but in like a weirdly great, entertaining, fabulous and fascinating way, right?

→ nicohischier: i don’t want to agree with that but i also can’t lie

→ jj.friar31: @/nicohischier what have you DONE

→ blakefriarr_: @/jj.friar31 i’ve been insufferable since the admin first commented on my post don’t act like he’s confirmed anything new

→ jj.friar31: at least you can admit that you’re insufferable 

→ blakefriarr_: god it’s like i vacuumed up all of your personality and kept it for myself when we were fetuses you’re like a cold unsalted mcdonalds french fry

username49876: she’s so real for having mercer be the focus in every photo

dawson1417: i can confirm i was really wondering what it would be like to get hurdled around at lethal speeds for sixty whole minutes 

→ blakefriarr_: how was the free trial?

→ dawson1417: can’t say it was particularly enjoyable 

→ blakefriarr_: i enjoyed it 

→ dawson1417: you wound me

dawson1417: and don’t act like i didn’t make you laugh during warmups

→ blakefriarr_: goon is a good thing <3

→ dawson1417: yay :)

→ jj.friar31: 🤨🤨📸 

jj.friar31: do i need to print off the ten commandments and stick them on the fridge again?

→ blakefriarr_: that’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said get back to me when you sign an elc

→ jj.friar31: would being called to get on the bench count?

→ blakefriarr_: no.

jj.friar31: on a completely unrelated note, @/dawson1417 do you see me as a teammate?

→ dawson1417: @/blakefriarr_ what do i say to this 

→ blakefriarr_: say no you gorgeous, gorgeous individual 

jesperbratt: do you have a second account for more serious posts? asking for a friend (the friend is dawson)

→ dawson1417: why’d you have to do me like that i told you nvm 😭

→ jesperbratt: and miss this golden opportunity to embarrass you?

→ blakefriarr_: dawson you can’t blame him entirely you just liked my post from may of 2021

→ dawson1417: oh shit must've been some other dawson

→ blakefriarr_: you’re verified, honey

view more comments..

[rubyroboticalt]

Minecrafters grab your pickaxes, and catch up on the QBLR QUATERLY!

What's up guys, update just dropped! It sure is something to try and decipher, huh. We've got pages of new stuff to go over, so let me learn you a thing about all the events and mishaps that happened on the server this week!

Efforts are made to develop the nether, and increasing its safety. It doesn't hurt that it's pretty, too. It seems Splat has built a temple! It has beautiful greco-roman pillars with lovely blue accents, lit by lanterns with snowblossom and magic trees growing in the center. I sure hope nothing ominous happened there.

Grif and Simmons from Red vs Blue visit! Looks like they're still very good friends. Unless… dear g-d… these soldiers gay! They've gotten gay married! Pride wins! So do Naturalist collectors, who have gotten so many butterflies! And a brown panda. Autism wins!

More Nether expeditions come, with residents exploring significant chunks of the nether very quickly. The thang in the nether, currently named the angel or the bird by residents, seems curious about these expeditions.

And now, the Gubby.

A stick fighting ring pops up, where folks can PVP with sticks as the only weapon. This fight, between Neon and Qrth, occurs in the middle of the path. This isn't the only fight that happens, does anyone else smell something burning? We may be fighting the server itself very soon.

What's that? A new egg? It's Saoirse! And Splat's temple receiving some koi ponds.

And now, a reading from r/MaleLivingSpaces. Purple peeling wallpaper. Wooden tile floors. Matching wooden tile ceiling. Five windows on the rounded back wall of the room. Double bed placed directly under the center double window, with foot facing the door, going against two feng shui rules: do not put the foot end of the bed facing the door, and do not put the bed under a window. Cobwebs in the upper right corner. Massive stack of boxes on the left side of the room, taking up most of the space. Papers strewn about the floor. Lamp placed on the floor next to the bed. Papers surrounding the bed. Two mugs on the floor. Pile of ash next to the bed. Red lamp placed on cardboard box next to the door. Single torch on the floor providing the only light in the room. This has been a reading from r/MaleLivingSpaces.

The food diversity mod has been replaced with one that doesn't bug out and duplicate hearts every login, and of course residents are totally normal about it and have not invented Foodmaxxing, where they try to eat as diverse a diet as possible. If only this was possible in real life, as well.

Inc builds a mushroom room at CEL labs, a location that has not yet appeared in the news for NDA and classification reasons.

And, of course, find a new egg while having a creature party. Hi, grunk! And hi, Berry's storage room! And hi, angel's garden! Hey, the egg doesn't belong in the frying pan! Not while it's a sentient being! C'mon.

Ghostly comes back from the dead, it seems. "And in the death of her reputation did she feel truly alive" -Why She Disappeared, Taylor Swift.

I know alcoholism is fairly common due to liver disease being disabled on the server, but the alcowallism might be taking it a little too far. Please set a good example for the creatures. Wait a minute. Is that a brain baby?

Good thing an orphanage is opening! Parentless creatures and creatureless parents can now apply to be assigned family members by the Dark Magician's lackeys. I mean, the admins, who we all love and cherish. Of course. And Mae is living up to Mae's name by building a Maez. Peace.

And with that, this week of the server closes with -- Good gravy what has happened to Levlies?

[oddbodsfixation]

Oddbods Roblox headcanons!

( im so sorry tumblr didn’t add the colour yellow )

Fuse ❤️ :

- Plays simulator, fighting, parkour and weight lifting games.

- Will do EVERYTHING to be at the top of the leaderboard in a game.

- Easily rage quits on obbies.

- Has been banned two times for swearing in chat (will do it again. this guy doesn’t really care)

- His favourite game is "The Strongest Battlegrounds" and battles with Slick or Pogo

- Has almost all the gamepasses in said game. Yet, he still usually loses.

- Keeps dying second or first in horror games. ( Fuse are you ok? )

- Keeps yelling in horror games.

- Also plays those RNG games. Will slowly get annoyed and mad when he keeps getting commons.

- He challenges himself to finish an obby without dying, but fails pathetically. He kicks his couch because of this and has broken it around 2 times.

- Broke his phone 5 times because of obbies ( FUSE WHAT THE HELL ). One of them being because of losing battles.

- Is going to LOSE IT with Pogo and Slick’s constant arguing in horror games. He had enough of those two.

Slick 🧡 :

- Plays dancing, roleplay, parkour and horror games.

- When him and Newt are playing a parkour game together, he tells Newt to watch him do a trick but ends up messing up and dies in game. Newt thinks this is funny and cute.

- Tried to get involved in a roleplay once, failed and got so embarrassed he left the game.

- "ABC for a boy!" No one says ABC 💀

- DEFINITELY plays any dancing game but mainly TTD 3. Plays the game daily and buys any item he can from the shop. Uses his glowsticks the most.

- Usually takes the lead in horror games.

- Pogo stole his hiding spot once in a horror game. (Slick died and argued with Pogo the whole game chapter. He had super good equipment and he lost it all 😭) Eventually, Fuse yelled at them to shut up and they never argued again ( Only when they’re playing with Fuse )

- Loves roleplaying with Newt and any of his friends. Roleplays as the dad or cool uncle/older brother.

- Breaks into Brookhaven houses with Pogo. Gets banned from the house first.

- Equips that red heart item to a girl in those 2016 roleplay games. Most of them walked away from him.

- He also plays those booth games and names his booth “Rating your look from 1 to 10!”. He rates all the girls a 10.

Bubbles 💛 :

- Plays story, educational, survival, horror, obby and simulator games.

- Will do EVERYTHING to be in a dialogue during a story game.

- Has played most of the Roblox story games and bought some of the gamepasses in them.

- Her favorite game is Break In.

- Joins Newt and Jeff in fashion games for fun. Didn't win a single round..

- SO good at survival games that she will already have armour within just 3 minutes.

- Likes those crafting games as well.

- Likes horror games with info of the monsters so she knows what to do when she encounters them.

Zee 💚 :

- Plays cooking, simulator, tycoon or any game he finds except for fashion.

- Literally clicks on any game and plays it. Once he finally gets bored, he leaves and finds another game

- Plays a lot of "Survive The [insert something]" games.

- His favorite game is Cook Burgers. Usually turns into the rat or frys the NPCs in the fryer 😭

- He actually plays tycoon games until the end sometimes. When waiting for more cash, he usually falls asleep.

- Likes playing those "vibe place" games.

- Plays brainrot games 😰 One time he played "Skibidi Toilet Tower Defense". Slick saw him playing that while checking Roblox and he was like "What??"

- Specifically plays food themed simulators. Ice cream, pizza, you name it!

- Has fallen asleep a few times during a vc with his friends. Fuse yelled at him to wake up. Zee jumped and accidentally pressed the reset button 🙏🏻

Pogo 💙 :

- Plays fighting, obby, free admin, horror, roleplay and donating games.

- Almost joins every game Fuse plays, which annoys Fuse.

"Your friend XxItsPogoxX has joined the experience."

"Can you leave me alone?!”

“Hey Fuse! No.”

- Scams people in pls donate. Scammed Fuse before but was harshly forced to donate back. Noted to himself to never scam Fuse again 😰

- Downloads exploits and pranks his friends with them.

- Turned Newt green while she was playing DTI. ( Newt left the game as soon as she turned green. )

- 1v1s with Fuse or Slick in fighting games. Usually wins. ( Sometimes he uses exploits during battles )

- Abuses the poop command on everyone in the "free admin" games. Has been reported and banned for it three times. ( Pogo watch out pls )

- Keeps laughing like a maniac when his friends die during horror games.

- Usually the one who accidentally leads the monster to his friends.

- Kept messing up at one puzzle on the last chapter. Fuse kept yelling at him to do it right, almost breaking the sound barrier 😥

- Scares his friends by pretending he heard something or screams in horror games.

“AHH! I SAW SOMETHING!”

“WHERE?!”

“In my imagination!” Fuse leaves him behind after this.

“WAIT! FUSE! IM SO-“ Monster jumpscare and they all go back to each other.

Lulu 🩵 :

- Plays competition, rhythm, dancing and tycoon games.

- Usually joins Slick whenever he's playing TTD 3. Always syncs him.

- Kind of bad in competition games, so she sometimes loses in the third or fourth round.

- Specifically plays music or singing themed games. Wishes she had voice chat so she could sing her heart to the people online! ( ..Gets advised by Newt that she shouldn't do it + she's still a kid )

- Also joins Newt when she's playing. Saw somebody break into Newt's tycoon and killed her to steal her weapons. Lulu avenged her though.

- Joins Bubbles when she's playing story games as well. She bought 3 respawn gamepasses because she kept getting killed 🥲

- Loves playing the rhythm games in Roblox. Her favorite game is Funky Friday and plays it with Slick, Bubbles, Fuse or Pogo.

I don’t know what other headcanons to give her

Jeff 💜 :

- Rarely plays Roblox but he plays simulator, tycoon, fashion and cleaning games.

- Only plays Roblox when he's asked to. He has other stuff to do other than play Roblox or other video games.

- He's played almost every cleaning simulator game. He reached the max level in all of them. Stops playing once he's beat the game or got at least one rebirth.

- Sometimes plays Cook Burgers with Zee. Got really annoyed when Zee kept stealing the ingredients and cooked patties when he turned into a rat. ( My man is just trying to cook here 😔 )

- Keeps his tycoon locked at ALL times and avoids going out from his tycoon. If a tycoon has an upgrade feature, he makes sure all his upgrades are at the same level.

- Hates horror games.

- Will not stop screaming and leaving in horror games.

- Slick and Pogo find him boring when playing Roblox because of the kind of games he only plays + says no to other games.

- Likes to play Roblox by himself. Doesn't like being disturbed.

- A literal MATERIAL BOY in DTI. Dude keeps getting 1st place what the hell. The players don't know he's a boy.

Newt 🩷 :

- Plays animal, simulator, cute, fashion, aesthetic, catalog and roleplay games.

- LOVES roleplaying as the sister or mom in roleplays. Will clean up the house when Slick roleplays at work.

- Their roleplay child is Zee.

- Usually chooses the cat when playing as an animal. Of course, she colours herself pink.

- Loves playing warrior cats! Has considered buying books about the stories.

- Always says "TYSM!!" whenever she gets any place in fashion challenge games. Girl is grateful 😌

- She uses those "aesthetic" Roblox woman bodies for her avatar.

- She has over 20+ saved PINK outfits in catalog avatar 😭😭

- She enjoys playing cooking games as well.

- She likes to invite Slick whenever she decides to play Roblox during her free time.

* + ❤️🧡💛💚💙🩵💜🩷 + *

That’s all for now. See you all next time!

Note : On most of the future headcanons, I might not include Lulu.

[fuck-customers]

i work at a fast food drive thru. this lady orders fries with no salt. no problem, we make her a fresh batch of fries with no salt. she pulls up, she pays, i hand the food to her. she eats a fry, & she starts SCREAMING at me that she can taste the salt & that she has high blood pressure. like. ma'am. this is a fast food restaurant. this isnt exactly the place to be ordering if youre watching your blood pressure. it's impossible to make 100% saltless fries unless we take the time to turn off the machine, let it cool, & clean the heated compartment where cooked fries are drained & salted - but she was in the drive thru so even if we did put everything on hold to do that just for her, it would fuck over the other five people behind her. & even if we gave her completely saltless fries it wont make a goddamn difference with the rest of the shit she's eating anyway. she didnt even order a salad. why scream at me about "not taking her health seriously" when 1) we werent made aware it was a health issue & not a preference 2) she's the one not taking her own health seriously by ordering fast food & 3) im pretty sure working yourself into a rage & yelling as loud as you can increases blood pressure?? the fries arent the only things here with too much salt, just go to one of the two grocery stores *directly next to the restaurant* to get a veggie platter, a fruit salad, or a sandwich that isnt dehydratingly salty & dripping in grease.

even though she was in the drive thru, she managed to disrupt other customers by yelling so loud! the next car pulled up & the customer sheepishly said that he had ordered fries with no salt too & asked if that was okay. she made so much drama over it that the next customer felt guilty about his order!

what an absolute bitch. i have 0 sympathy for her.

Posted by admin Rodney