#adhd quality of life updates

[stygiusfic]

latest ADHD patch: quality of life updates

Adjusted sleeping hours to an earlier schedule. Turns out the "woohooo I am untouchable and free and I can do anything now the world is asleep!" high that staying up late gave me can also be obtained at 7AM. And early mornings have the added benefit of being brainable, so I can spend some time on hobbies before work.

Eliminated ambitious goals after sundown. Writing after work? Forget about it. It's not happening, we're out of brain juice by then. (Writing in the morning before work does happen, though!) If the sun has gone down, give up the lofty ambitions and just play a game or do something hands-on that lets the brain be mostly off.

Adjusted diet. Been slowly getting into cooking (great evening activity) and the increase in my energy levels when I eat food that tastes good and interesting is so tangible it's insane. And there's a surprising number of uncomplicated and cheap recipes that achieve this.

Implemented a walking routine to fix a recurring bug (wiggles). I was already working out regularly because picking up heavy things is a drug, but have noticed the classic ADHD restlessness can often be cured with a walk or some physical activity to burn it off. Fresh air helps too.

Eliminated phone use (preferably no screens) for at least one or two hours before sleep. When I started doing this I was like "but what about my nighttime fanfic binges?" but I gained something better in exchange: the freedom of being unreachable for a few hours. I usually read a physical book and/or spend time with my pet. And I sleep better, too.

Increased levels of kindness toward the user. This is the big one. If I fall off the horse or have an off day when I'm unable to manage all this, I try to be kind and forgive myself. All is not lost. Tomorrow I try again.

[quincey-verse-next-gen]

Artist note! Just made a few quality of life changes!

Mostly with me realizing a few asks are in tandem one aftwe the other about heavily simular topics I have started to do a

First _ Last _ Next thing like I've seen comics on here do I'm slowly going through the blog and editing asks I feel are reliving or work well enough for this change

I'll probably edit these as far back as the Christmas comics for my own sake as I'm still learning how this works and how to save my own sanity

More detail is on the intro pinned post (that I've also edited recently to include other things in the "keep reading" scroll down.)

Let me know your thoughts, feed back, and ideas on the blog so far!

(As I realized I've drawn Papersnarl almost a total of 80 times)

Constructive criticism is always welcome just make sure it's actually constructive and from a place of good wishes and understanding

[gamorahww]

hi! i was wondering if you have any advice/certain programs or anything you use for making gifs, because there’s something i really want to make but i have zero experience 💔💔

hello hello!

ah, yes, I have a TON, let's hope this ADHD girlie can give a somewhat concise description lmao. I will answer this publicly, in case it's useful for anyone else.

Software I use:

To make the screenshots: - for single scenes: KMPlayer 12.22.30 (the newer versions are trash) - for shorter videos, or something you want to get all the screenshots out of Free Video to JPG converter is awesome.

To make the gifs: - Adobe Photoshop 2021 (I don't recommend much later versions, because of the Cloud connection they have)

General gif-maker wisdom: "we spend more time on making sure that something looks serviceable, not pixelated, and good quality, than to get it moving and shit" - Confucius, probably

Useful stuff to make your life easy:

- Squishmoon's action pack for sharpening your screenshots. You can also find their detailed use explained here. - If you are planning to gif Wicked, some scenes are a bit tricky, ngl. But I have two PSDs that you can use, while you're perecting your own craft, and you can edit and update them to make them more "you".

A neutral PSD for mostly indoors and lighter scenes | download

A blue-enhancing PSD for darker scenes | download

Some info on videos to use: - always, always (ALWAYS) use at least HD videos. Otherwise your gif will look like shit. This should be ideally at least 720p in resolution, but go with 1080p for the best results. Coloring gifs in 1080p is easy, but... - if you want to go pro *rolls eyes*, you could go for HDR (2160p) quality. However HDR is a mf to color properly and I would not recommend it for a beginner. When you extract frames from an HDR video, the image colors will end up being washed out and muddy so you will always have to balance those colors out for it to look decent, however, the quality and number of pixels will be larger. If you ar okay with making small/medium sized images, then stick with 1080p. (Storytime, I spent a lot of time making HDR screenshots, only for me to realize that I really hate working with them, so I'm actually considering going back to 1080p, despite that not being "industry standard" on Tumblr lmao. I'm not sure yet But they take up so much space, and if you have a laptop that is on the slower side, you will suffer.)

See the below example of the image differences, without any effects. You will probably notice, that HDR has some more juicy detail and is a LOT sharper, but well... the color is just a lot different and that's something you will have to calculate in and correct for.

The ✨Process✨

Screencaptures

I like to have all screenshots/frames ready for use. So as step one, you need to get the movie file from somewhere. This should definitely be a legal source, and nothing else (jk).

Once I have the movie. I spend a lot of time making and sorting screencaps. Since I mostly work in the Wicked fandom only atm, that means I will only need to make the frames once, and thats awesome, cause this is the most boring part.

For this, I let the Video to JPG Converter run the whole movie while I was aleep, and by morning, it created gorgeous screenshots for me and my laptop almost went up in flames.

You need to make sure you capture every single frame, so my settings looked like this:

Screenshots do take up a lot of space, so unless your computer has a huge brain, I suggest storing the images in an external drive. For Wicked, the entire movie was I think around 200k frames total. I reduced that to about 120k that I will actually use.

And then I spend some time looking through them, deleting the scenes I know I won't do ever (goodbye Boq, I will never gif you, I'm so sorry :((( ) and also, I like to put them into folders by scene. My Wicked folder looks like this:

If you don't want this struggle and you only need a few specific scenes, there is this great tutorial on how to make frames from KMPlayer. Note that some of the info in this tutorial on gif quality requirements and Tumblr's max allowance of size and # of frames are outdated. You are allowed to post a gif that is a maximum of 10 Mb and 120 frames (maybe it can be even more, idk, said the expert) on Tumblr. But the process of screencapturing is accurate. Also ignore the gifmaking process in this tutorial, we have a lot easier process now as well!

Prepping the images

I have a folder called "captures", where I put all of the specific screenshots for a set I want to use. Inside this folder I paste all the shots/scenes I want to work on for my current gifset, and then I create subfolders. I name them 1, 2, 3, etc, I make one folder for each gif file I want to make. Its important that only the frames you want to be in the gif are in the folder. I usually limit the number of images to 100, I don't really like to go above it, and usually aim to go lower, 50-70 frames, but sometimes you just need the 100.

Sidetrack, but: Keep in mind that Tumblr gifs also need to be a specific width, so that they don't get resized, and blurry. (Source) Height is not that important, but witdth is VERY. But since there is a limit on Mb as well, for full width (540px) gifs you will want to go with less frames, than for smaller ones.

Once you have the frames in folders, you will open Photoshop, and go to: File > Scripts > Load files into stack.

Here you select Folder from the dropdown menu, and then navigate to the folder where you put the frames for your first gif. It will take a moment to load the frames into the window you have open, but it will look like this:

You click "OK" and then it will take anther few moments for Photoshop to load all the frames into a file.

But once that's done, and you have the frames, you next have to resize the image. Go to Image > Image size... When you resize in Photoshop, and save as gif, sometimes you do end up with a light transparent border on the edge that looks bad, so, when you resize, you have to calculate in that you will be cutting off a few pixels at the end. In this example, I want to make a 268px width gif. I usually look at heights first, so lets say I want it to be a close-up, and I will cut off the sides, and it will be more square-ish. So I set height to 240px. Always double check that your width doesn1t run over your desired px numbers, but since 575 is larger than 268 (can you tell I'm awesome at math?), I should be good. I click OK.

Next, you have to crop the image. Go to Image > Canvas size... At this point we can get rid of those extra pixels we wanted to drop from the bottom as well, so we will make it drop from the height and the width as well. I set the width to 268px, and the height to 235px, because I have OCD, and numbers need to end with 0 or 5, okay?

And now, the magic happens! First, go to Window > Actions to have the actions window show up. While you're at it, in the Window menu also select Timeline (this will be your animation timeline at the button) and also Layers. Once you have the Actions window showing up, on the menu in the upper right corner click the three lines menu button, and from the list select "Load Actions". I hope you downloaded the Squishmoon action pack from the start of this post, if not, do it now! So you save that file, and then after you clicked Load, you... well, load it. It will show up in your list like so:

You will want to use the sharpening - HD one, BUT I personally like to go, and remove the tick from the spot I circled above, so leave that empty. This will result in the image having more contrast, which is very much needed for these darker scenes.

When you have that, you select the action itself like so, and click the play button at the bottom. The action will do everything for you, sharpen, increase contrast and also, create the gif and set the frame speed. You won't need to edit anything, just whatever window pops up, click "OK"

Now it should all look like something like this:

In the Layers window on the side, scroll all the way up to the top. The frame on the top is your last frame. Every effect you want to add to the gif should go to here, otherwise it won't apply to all frames. So at this point I open my PSD for darker scenes, and pull the window of it down, above the gif I'm working on like so:

And then I grab the folder I marked with yellow, left click, hold the click down, and drag that folder over to my current gif. And bamm, it will have the nice effect I wanted! You can click the little play button at the button to see a preview.

Once you have it sorted, now its time to extract it, but first, here's our before and after view:

Now, if you are happy with this, you can just save and close.

If you want to add subtitles, you can do that as well either manually with the text tool (remember, to add as the TOP layer as we did with the coloring) or you can use a pre-set PSD for that as well, here's mine.

Now, we just need to export it. Go to File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy) and copy my settings here. Others may use other settings, but these are mine, so! I hope you are happy with them :3

In this case, for colors, I picked 128 colors, because on dark sscenes you can get away with using less colors, and the larger that number is, the bigger the filesize. If you use lighter images, you will need to bump that shit up to 256, but that will make your file larger. You can see at the bottom of the screen, how large your file will end up being. So long as you are under 9 Mb, you should be good :3

Conclusion

Look, Gif making and Photoshop in general is a bit scary at first. There are a lot of settings you can mess around on your own, a lot to play with, and also a lot can go wrong. This is a very basic tutorial, and also my current process and preferred coloring. However if you look at "gif psd" or "gif tutorial" or similar tags on Tumblr, you can find a LOT of great resources and steps, for many-many things. Usually people are not too antsy about sharing their methods either. You make 4-5 gifs, and you will have the steps locked down, and then it's all about experimenting.

After you have some muscle memory, your next step should be to explore what is inside a PSD coloring folder that you use. Open them up, try clicking around, click the little eye, to see what happens if they are turned off, and double click them, and play around with the sliders, to see what each does. Most people on Tumblr don't really know what each one does, we all just pressed a few buttons and got really lucky with the results, lol.

If anything is unclear, don't hesitate to ask, I'll gladly help!

Good luck <3

[aloesarchives]

A Love that Haunts Beyond the Grave (JJK One-shot)

Warnings: Fem reader, Death, Mention of Blood, Violence, Grief, Reader is highkey still in mourning, Megumi being confused 24/7, Angst with no happy ending at all, Shibuya Arc

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Word Count: 2.3k words

Summary: What happens when the person that is attacking your son is his father and the love of your life?

Pairing: Toji x Fem/Mom!Reader(Romantic), Megumi x Mom!Reader(Platonic/Parental)

Pronouns: She/Her (Reader is referred to as mom by Megumi)

AU: Slight Canon Divergence Timeline (Reader is a sorcerer and minor teacher at Jujutsu High. The reader is Megumi’s biological mom. Tsumiki is Reader and Toji’s biological daughter. One of the Reader’s Last Names is Fushiguro but also their last name, like (Y/N) (L/N) Fushiguro.)

(A/N: Sorry that this is shorter than my other JJK pieces. I am trying to do more writings that aren’t super long or drag on. Also, because my ADHD prescription has been backordered until the 20th, my updates will be very inconsistent. I apologize for the inconvenience and drop in quality of my upcoming works!)

[Semi Proofread and edited on 12/13/23 at 8:02pm!]

As always, Please Enjoy!

The curses just kept coming and coming, everything was in absolute chaos. Though you can pull your own, the amount of curse energy manifesting was something you haven’t felt since your younger years. What was happening in Shibuya was unlike any other mission or event you've been a part of. The closest that could come to this is when Suguru decided to invade and wage an attack on the very school he attended. 

After getting separated from your son and his group, you desperately made it your mission to reunite and be there with him. You know your son is a very strong boy and can handle his own. With the guidance and training of Satoru, you could be sure he can be a sorcerer who stands up against those who oppose him. But this was different. Stronger curses, stronger and terrifying enemies you never had heard of, curse techniques and domain expansions beyond your understanding. This wasn’t anything a normal grade sorcerer would be up against, let alone be prepared for. With the news of Gojo Satoru being sealed reached your ears, you knew you were one of the few strong sorcerers left to be aiding in this dangerous conflict. Thus the desperation to find your son and keep him safe became unruly.

You zipped and flashed through the once lively city in search of any essence of your son. Scaling buildings, diving through empty windows of establishments frozen in time, racing on the concrete sidewalks with the only noise is your feet slamming against the pavement with the faint growls of grotesque curses echoing in the background. To your luck, or possibly your own fear, there were barely any curses in the streets to ambush you. While aimlessly running, your body suddenly immobilized itself at the sound of concrete breaking. You never had a super heightened sense, only through years of experiences and training. However, your body forced you to stay still as if it wanted you to hear what was happening. It would soon be in your favor as what followed was a small explosion with two people coming out of it. You recognized one of the silhouettes to be a young boy with blue spikey hair.

“Megumi?!”

You found your son but not in the way that you wanted. Like any good parent, you rushed to where you think Megumi landed. As you get closer, you hear glass shattering. Things crashing and being thrown around. Through a side street, you briefly saw Megumi being launched by a powerful force. You were, however, confused because you didn’t feel nor sense any curse energy. What the hell is Megumi fighting that’s bruly enough it doesn’t rely on curse energy? Making haste, you tried to figure out Megumi’s location but with him being thrown around, it was difficult to make a precise point of his location. 

You kept following where Megumi was going despite not knowing the entity that was manhandling your son. T the crashes and the chaos grow louder, You cut through any small side streets and alleyways to get closer. Sweat was beading down, cascading down your face, and your limbs ached from the amount of energy you exerted onto them. But it didn’t matter, none of it mattered when your son was endangered and possibly killed because you were too late. Oh, how you begged your body to keep on going just to save your son. After taking all the twists and turns, you took a left turn and saw Megumi. He was out of breath but it seemed he was trying to hold himself against the juggernaut he was fighting. Sprinting in full action, you ran down the alley and reached the street where he was cornered. Even if you were out of breath, your body mustered enough air to call for your son’s name.

“MEGUMI!!!”

“Mom?!”

You reached your son and used your body as a shield between him and whoever he was fighting. You looked back for a bit, to see if he was severely injured. Besides the cut under his left eye and the drops of sweat on his forehead and cheeks, he looked somewhat okay. You honestly didn’t care if you died protecting your son. If Megumi lived, you would be satisfied. You felt your body become light as you took a stance against Megumi’s opponent. You didn’t feel Megumi grip the back of your shirt and pleading out your name. You didn’t understand what he meant until the figure on the other side propelled himself forward and tried to impale you on his weapon. You anticipated an object thrusted in you only to open your eyes to see the figure look at you with surprise. Though he jumped back to the other end of the street, you caught the small horizontal scar on the edge of the man’s lips. It was like life played a cruel joke on you as Deja vu graced your body in the worst way possible.

“You…(Y/N)?”

“T-Toji…?”

Megumi’s brain was frazzled but he still was able to pick up you saying something. And by the look of Megumi’s opponent, he stood there frozen too. Megumi looks back and forth trying to figure out how to know who he is fighting. Was this an enemy from your younger days as an active sorcerer that matched you and your abilities? Or was this someone that scarred you from an event that caused you to stand like a statue? He couldn’t tell but by your reaction of wide eyes and slight agape mouth, this guy wasn’t someone to simply drop your guard. Megumi was trying to process the situation while you and what seemed to be your dead husband stared the other down.

How was this possible? Why was this possible? You were informed of the activities and whereabouts of your estranged husband twelve years ago. Of how one night out of the blue, Toji just left with no trace of returning whatsoever. Leaving you, Tsumiki, and Megumi behind one day and never bothering to return to the three of you ever again. You were told by your own junior and student, Satoru Gojo, that he killed your husband in an intense battle where he blew a hole in him. Telling you his last words were to look after his wife and children as you cried over the fate of your love. You thought you never got to see your Toji alive again, the last time you saw him was in the morgue where Satoru and Principal Yagi showed you the corpse of your husband to confirm his identity. 

Your denial was strong, stronger than your resolution to be rational. You saw your husband dead, pale, cold, and mortal as you saw his left arm and chunks of his torso were missing. Your husband was gone from this mortal plane. Yet, here he was. Your husband was standing in front of you like he was never dead, to begin with. Your body felt cold, shaking from the adrenaline that was produced, your breath lodged in your throat, and your heartbeats were all that you heard. A wave of confusion, astonishment, disbelief, sorrow, and anguish flashed over you. As you stood there, Megumi became even more disoriented. You were known for being calm and in control in battles and missions as he heard from his teacher. On the other hand, this was something he had never seen before. You weren’t standing in fear. No, Megumi couldn’t tell one feeling from you but multiple feelings washed over you like a wave crashing against the sea wall. Megumi couldn’t tell a single thing from you. You were his own mother, and yet he couldn’t understand what you were going through.

It was like you'd seen a ghost, and he didn't know he would be right.

“Mom… Snap out of it... This man is a perfected form of Maki-san… He’s too dangerous for us… If we don’t take him down, we’re done for… We need to fight together to win against him… Mom, please…”

To the untrained ear, it sounded like Megumi was commanding you. But the reality is, he was desperately pleading to you. Although you heard your son, his words fell on deaf ears. If this somehow was the Toji you know, you know he wouldn’t kill you. He didn’t recognize his son but he definitely recognized you, which meant he wasn’t going for the kill just yet. If he didn’t recognize you, he would’ve killed Megumi and you within seconds. But deep down, you knew your Toji was somewhere inside of whatever he was possessing, you think. As naive and in denial as you are, you took the risk and held out the fight just a bit longer. In hopes, the soul of your deceased husband could remember you. As the man that you believed was your husband stands the opposite of you, he just stares at the two of you. You fiercely yet calmly protect your son while Megumi's strong demeanor clashes with the sweat bullets on his forehead.

“You…boy… What's your name?” Toji bluntly asks Megumi.

Megumi’s guard drops a bit by the bizarre question the stranger asked, unbeknownst to him that he was talking to his father. He wasn’t sure about answering the question but he was intrigued by the nature of the stranger’s decision to ask.

“(L/N) Fushiguro…” Megumi hesitantly muttered.

“It’s not Zen’in…? I’m glad…” 

And with that, you watched as Toji stabbed himself in the head with his weapon. You regained your breath as you gasped at the action. Before Toji’s body hit the pavement with a splattered thud, you could have heard him mouth something to you.

‘’m sorry, (Y/N)...’

While your son’s mouth was open because of the absurdity of the situation, you could feel your own tears welling up. Megumi runs over to look at the corpse, he is shocked that it reverted back to the original host before Toji’s soul took over. 

“What the hell was that about… Mom…?”

Megumi looks over to see you crying. Your mind wiped itself off of any self-control as your knees collapsed to the ground. You were heaving deep breaths while small sobs escaped each time you let a breath out. Concern takes over Megumi as he runs over to you, asking what’s wrong. He would have asked who that man was and what is your relationship with him but right now isn’t the best moment for your current state. As you start to calm down, Megumi is right there hugging you for comfort. You couldn’t believe yourself. He was there, he was right fucking there in front of your very eyes! Standing there with his pompous and confident attitude. You thought you were over with this, having to come to terms that your love was dead and never return to you in this time. That you had already mourned the loss of your husband all those twelve years ago. But it seems like you never truly moved on from it.

When Megumi was younger, he would constantly ask about his father. After the news of his death, you never told him nor Tsumiki the real fate of their father. Tsumiki was an observant and smart girl, she knew the topic of her father was a sensitive one given your reactions. That’s why she stopped asking about him when she was young. It didn’t take long for Megumi to follow suit with his older sister. Slowly stopped asking about his father and grew a slight resentment towards him because he let you raise your two children alone while never giving a reason why. The days he remembered as a young boy of your crestfallen expression, how your smile never reached your eyes. The only time you did this was when you were spending time with him and Tsumiki. He never remembered his father or what he looked like. To Megumi, he was always out of the picture. It was just you, him, his older sister, and Gojo-sensei. That was his family. But he still couldn’t wrap his head around one thing. He remembered he asked how many people did you fall in love with before you met his father. Your answer always intrigued him because you told him that your first and only love was his and Tsumiki’s father.

He can never understand your love for his father after everything he put you through. But you never gave Megumi a definitive answer. All you said was, “When the time comes for me to be ready, I will eventually tell you, Megumi-sweetie”. As you start to gather yourself, Megumi felt his rationale wasn’t working as he was trying to piece this together to make sense of it all. As Megumi helps you up, you wipe your tears away and even out your breathing. You thought you were ready to tell Megumi the truth, the truth about his father and everything that led up to this point. But in the confrontation you just had with your deceased beloved, the confidence you had vanished and your readiness was replaced with uncertainty. As cowardice it was to admit, you knew the truth would come out sooner or later. But right now isn’t a good time to tell your son this. Right now, everything is falling apart and the best course of action is to regroup with the other. Perhaps when this is all over, you could tell your son the truth. He does deserve it, after all.

“Mom, are you okay? I don’t understand or know what’s going on… I don’t even know where that man even came from…”

“Megumi, honey. I know you are confused and have many questions for me. Unfortunately, I cannot answer them right now. What matters right now is we find the others and regroup with them. I’ll be fine, my dear. Now, we gotta go and find the rest of them in what’s left of Shibuya.”

You offered a smile for reassurance for your son. But your son knows you better, your smile didn’t reach your eyes. While he made that observation, he didn’t comment on it. He only nodded and followed your lead. With that, you and your son quickly trekked the empty Shibuya streets to find the others. However, what you and your son will soon find out is that the Battle in Shibuya will be known as a calamity in Jujutsu history and ultimately end in tragedy.

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Hope you enjoyed it! Have a wonderful day and don't forget to drink your favorite drink!

[msweebyness]

Akuma class and Theater kids worst experiences with Bustier?

@imsparky2002 @booksrbetterthanpeople @nerdy-chocomallow

Akuma:

Juleka:

ALLOWED HER TO BE HELD BACK A SECOND TIME. DID YOU SERIOUSLY BELIEVE THAT’S WHAT SHE WANTED?!

Constantly got on her case about her speech impediment. Tells her she’ll never get anywhere in life if she doesn’t learn to be more outgoing, and always puts her on the spot.

Alix:

Constantly gives Alix detention and sends her to the principal’s office when she voices her opinion or points out when Bustier isn’t being fair

Always comparing her grades and general academic performance unfavorably to Jalil’s when he was a student at DuPont, pointing out that she could be a straight-A student like her brother if she tried harder

Nathaniel:

Constantly forgetting to include him in the class roster or send him updates about activities, it usually takes multiple reminders from the rest of the class for her to remember him

She’s confiscated his sketchbook multiple times because “he’s not paying attention in class and needs to be disciplined”

Max:

Pressures him into “helping” some of the more well-off students with their homework, I.e. doing it for them, insisting that he needs to be “a good friend” to the people that regularly torment him

Constantly tells him to shush Markov and keep the robot from “distracting” the class, despite Markov rarely making a scene and only speaking up when it’s relevant to the lesson

Mylene:

Recommended to Mme. Winters that she doesn’t give Mylene any leads or prominent roles in the school drama productions, because “her anxiety would impede her performance and the production as a whole”

Pressuring her to keep up her role as the class peacemaker and caretaker, hinting she’s being selfish when she wants to do something for herself

Alya:

While in a conference call with Nadja about a potential school-sponsored internship at the news station, Bustier kept bringing up some of Alya’s earlier, less-accomplished journalism projects and harping on their faults, nearly jeopardizing her chances, despite her having moved past that stage and producing quality work

Whenever Alya chooses NOT to go out and try to film an akuma, either because of important school work or because it could put her life in extreme danger, Bustier practically peer pressures her into doing so anyway, telling her that people rely on her for akuma information

Sabrina:

Let Chloe make Sabrina do her homework for years (there is no way in hell she didn’t know, bull-effing-shit), and got on Sabrina’s case about her own grades slipping

Pressures Sabrina to try and get Roger to be more lenient with the horrible people he arrests, insisting they “just need a caring hand”

Nino:

She’s confiscated his headphones on several of his nonverbal days, which has lead him to nearly have an anxiety attack on several different occasions

On career day, when Nino talked about his aspirations for DJing and filmmaking, she derided the first as “not a real career” and the second as “unrealistic”, leaving him feeling terrible about himself and his goals

Chloe:

Never made her do her own work or punished her for mistreating others, severely stunting both her academic and personal growth

Chastised Chloe for being upset about her mother’s treatment of her, stating that “Audrey is a busy woman and Chloe shouldn’t be so demanding of her”

Marinette:

Constantly shirking her duties off onto her, basically making the girl do her own job, gaslighting her when she tries to say no

Has her organize field trips, manage funding, email parents, file paperwork, etc, not caring about how much it cuts into her personal time

Kim:

Whenever Kim can’t stop fidgeting or is having trouble focusing due to his ADHD, rather than supplying him with any sort of assistance, she sends him out of the class for the remainder of the period, causing him to fall behind in class

When Kim forgot to study for a test due to staying late after futbol practice, Bustier loudly called him out for it in front of the entire class, telling him to get his priorities in order

Rose:

Treats her like she’s made of glass and constantly tries to talk her out of doing activities she enjoys, like performing, because they may “cause her unneeded stress and trigger her condition”

Often criticizes her for her “childish” interests and tells her she needs to grow up and leave her plushies and rainbows behind

Adrien:

Would never listen to him when he told her something made him uncomfortable (Cough, Lila, Cough), pressuring him to keep being the agreeable, high-road-taking boy that “everybody loves”

Constantly chastising him for going against his father, insisting the man “just wants what’s best for him” and Adrien “needs to be a more considerate son”

Ivan:

Constantly sending him out of the classroom and to the principal’s office for little to no reason, for things so much as speaking up in class and her perceiving it as being disrespectful, even if it isn’t

Pressures him into doing all the heavy-lifting for the class, alone, even with Kim’s frequent offers to help

Theater:

Eri:

Once gave her a failing grade on a literature test, even though she’d written all the right answers, because said answers were written in her native Japanese

Criticizes her for “making people uncomfortable” with her dark and gothic demeanor and her theatrical tendencies

Soo-Yeon:

Publicly berated and humiliated him (even more) in front of the entire class when he accidentally tripped over a board and spilled his backpack all over the aisle, saying he “needs to pull his head out of the clouds”

Tries to get him to play down his performance on the basketball court, so that the wealthier students on the team (like Adrien, who was aghast when he heard of this), could shine more

Roxie:

Puts pressure on them to forgive their bitchy ex, saying Roxie could have been a better partner and helped Brie achieve her goals, despite the fact she was completely using Roxie

Treats them in a very similar manner to Ivan, harshly criticizing their surly and reserved demeanor, pressuring them to be friendlier and smile more

Petra:

Frequently, if indirectly, makes it clear she feels it’s extremely odd that Petra is being raised by four gay men, even making a somewhat tasteless joke about it once

Constantly sending her to the office for the dress code “as a distraction”, despite their various accessories not being against the rules and no one really cares

Candace:

Puts pressure on Candace to be the model, perfect, can-do-it-all student that everyone believes her to be, adding to the stress she already puts on herself to keep up that image

Pressured her to let Lila on the cheer squad to be “inclusive”, even though the liar only had wanted attention and to flirt with athletes. She even tried to get her to give the girl her position as captain

Staci:

Constantly critiquing her performance in the cheer squad, saying she needs to show more pep and smile more, saying her lack of enthusiasm drags the squad down

Has openly badmouthed her dad and his career for exposing corruption in the Paris political system on his news show, saying all he’s doing is stirring up trouble

Parker:

When she used her military self-defense skills to defuse a fight between two students, without harming them, Bustier chastised her for getting involved and “being violent”, advocating for her suspension

Chastises her for coming off as “aggressive and unfriendly” when she uses the military jargon she grew up around in conversations or in class

Margo:

Forces Margo to write down whatever she wants to say in class, rather than saying it out loud, as she “finds her accent too difficult to comprehend”

Always expects Margo to be kind and helpful, even when she has her own things to do, telling her that that’s what everyone expects of her, to be the caring big sister of the class

Anthony:

Often openly insinuates that he should be more like his parents, cultured, well-kept and polite, a model citizen, and abandon his gothic interests, despite Sylvie and Bradley having no issue with who their son is and loving him regardless

Tries to force him into social situations, despite his obvious discomfort with it, saying that he needs to get used to being around people if he wants to be a good son when his parents bring him to their diplomatic gatherings

Aggie:

Tries to pressure her into reaching out to her deadbeat parents, insisting that she needs to forgive them and offer them another chance, as “they’ve made mistakes but they can be better if you help them”

Similarly to Margo, frequently gets on her case about using Scottish slang and dialects, saying she needs to “be more conscious and considerate” and speak in a way that everyone can understand

Evie:

Pressures her not to say anything and “make a fuss” when guys harass or touch her, because it’s “just boys being boys” and she “needs to set a good example”

Even said that “maybe if she wasn’t showing off her curves and chest so much, this wouldn’t happen as often.”

Eloise:

Ignored her when she told the teacher about some of the richer students bullying her into doing their math homework, telling her she “just needed to be a helpful and supportive classmate”

Pressured her into joining the scholastic decathlon team despite her not being comfortable in high-stakes competitive situations, saying she needed to “put her fears aside and do it for the school”

Anais:

Constantly putting pressure on her to live up to their mother’s expectations, and chastising it when she vents about how much it actually stresses them out, saying Olive “only wants the best for her child and she should be grateful its mother cares so much”

Pressures them to offer “tutoring” to some of the richer students, despite all that it already has on her plate

Dot:

Has pressured her into not filling out incident reports for small bullying infractions, as is part of her office job, for things done by wealthy students, telling her “she doesn’t want to ruin their future prospects”

Constantly piling more and more work onto her already full plate, even things that a student secretary shouldn’t normally have to do, all while praising her for being “so dependable”

Missy:

When Missy made the mistake of telling her about her feelings of self-blame for her mother’s death-in-childbirth, Bustier dismissed these feelings as “silly”, saying she “had no reason to feel that way”

Has actually had her sent to the counselor’s office for her “obvious attitude problem”, and talked about such in front of the entire class

Mona:

Acts incredibly condescending towards her, like the perfect advocate, frequently suggesting they should stick to activities “more her speed”, so they don’t “impede the progress of other students”

Often harshly calls them out in front of the class to pay attention when she starts to drift into her headspace, embarrassing her and ruining their mood for the rest of the day

Ayesha:

Holds her up as a model of positivity and a good attitude, insisting all the other students should be like her, and trying to force her to be cheerful on the rare days she feels sad

Discourages her from putting her cartoons up on the school’s art forum because she thinks they’re too “silly and childish”, despite people greatly enjoying them

Jesse:

Tried to pressure him out of testifying against his father in court, despite all the abuse he suffered from the man, stressing that family is incredibly important and forgiveness is key

Constantly forgetting to supply him with handouts with larger text to make it easier with his monocular vision

Brecken:

Nearly had him suspended for defending his girlfriend from one of the (rich) guys who frequently harasses her. It wasn’t even a fight, he just pushed the guy away from Evie and told him to back off or he would make him

Doesn’t bother supplying him with any help with her curriculum, despite him being dyslexic and it being heavily literature based. She just says he needs to try harder

[the-traveling-poet]

╰┈➤ Requests are OPEN! Ask/request away my loves~

╰┈➤ My Wattpad and AO3

╰┈➤ Please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works onto other platforms without my permission, but feel free to recommend my writing outside of Tumblr/Wattpad/AO3 :)

╰┈➤This blog interacts with and sometimes writes NSFW. Ageless/underage blogs don’t interact with marked content pls!

Join the taglist Here !

𝕆𝕟𝕖-𝕊𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤~

✧*̥˚ 𝒮𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝐹𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓈 ̥˚✧

≪ Migraines ≫

Enemies-to-lovers vibe; where Captain Levi and you butt heads at every turn, until he finds you in a pickle.

≪ Bold Statements ≫

As you sat by Captain Levi in the ruins of what remained of the last war, you decide to pester the exhausted man with banter as you once did so many years ago.

≪ Her Kind Heart ≫

How, after all he had seen her endure, could she still smile?How could her heart be so full after being so broken? It was something Levi had admired, and soon came to love. How could he not, when she taught him many a value?

~ More One-Shots Here ~

𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕓𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕤~

✧*̥˚ 𝒮𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝐹𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓈 ̥˚✧

≪ Painting ≫

Levi's artistic lover takes on a new hobby that baffles him at first, but he soon comes to love.

≪ Cuddles ≫

Sleepy, early morning cuddles with boyfriend!Levi one lazy day.

≪ Jealousy ≫

When his squad gets a bit too friendly with you, Levi steps in to silently let them know who you belong to. Or, at least, who he wishes you belonged to.

~ More Drabbles Here ~

𝕆𝕝𝕕 ℍℂ𝕤~

✧*̥˚ 𝒮𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝐹𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓈 ̥˚✧

(Maybe cringe, but one day l'll update the format/quality)

≪ Terrible Flirt ≫

When his squad gets a bit too friendly with you, Levi steps in to silently let them know who you belong to. Or, at least, who he wishes you belonged to.

≪ Blushing ≫

The second Levi's crush is around, even just breathing or merely existing in his general direction, his face is the first thing to give away his feelings.

≪ ADHD ≫

Levi's growing relationship with his lovely ADHD partner.

~ More Old HCs Here ~

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

𝕃𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤~

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕓𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕤~

≪ Levi Ackerman ≫

≪ Erwin Smith ≫

≪ Eren Jaeger ≫

≪ Armin Arlert ≫

𖠰 *ੈ 𖥧𖤣 𓋼. ࣪𖠰 *ੈ 𖥧𖤣 𓋼. ࣪𖠰 *ੈ 𖥧𖤣 𓋼. ࣪ 𖠰 *ੈ 𖥧𖤣 𓋼. ࣪𖠰 *ੈ 𖥧𖤣

𝔼𝕩𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕤~

≪ AOT Finale Fic ≫

≪ Birthday Special Drabble, 2023 ≫

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

𝔻𝕒𝕕𝕍𝕚! ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥~

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

≪ Family ≫

Three years after the war, you learn just how tiresome motherhood can be, despite the bliss your new domestic life often provided. Thankfully, Levi's always up for the challenge of stepping in when you need a break.

≪ Quality Time ≫

Levi gets a day off duty to spend time with his exhausted wife and their two week old son.

≪ Coming Home Late ≫

After a long day, Levi finds solace in his cosy home alongside his loving wife and twin sons cuddled up on his bed.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

𝕃𝕚𝕖𝕦𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕒𝕟𝕥!ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥~

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

≪ Priorities ≫

As Lieutenant and assistant to Captain Levi, you've been tasked with many jobs and twice as many errands to run. But the toughest part of the gig is keeping your relationship with your superior behind closed doors. That becomes increasingly difficult, come an unexpected expedition.

≪ Head Cold ≫

Captain Levi's stubborn Lieutenant falls ill, making him take matters into his own hands.

≪ Silent Confessions ≫

As Captain Levi's childhood best friend, you always find the time to talk him through tough situations; such as the upcoming expedition to reclaim Wall Maria.

≪ Respect ≫

Tasked with filling in for Levi as a lieutenant to watch over the S.O.S. in his absence, things don't go according to plan the moment you stepped in. Luckily for you, your husband has you back.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

𝕄𝕪 ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝔽𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕤~

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

≪ Laughter ≫

Realizing you'd never heard Captain Levi laugh, you set out get a laugh out of him with the Vets.

≪ Caught ≫

Levi finds his flirtatious advances towards you aren't as subtle as he thought.

≪ Clingy ≫

Levi constantly needing the reassurance of your affections in your relationship.

≪ Yearning ≫

In which Levi pines after your attention from afar and in secret, wholly smitten and devoted.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕓𝕓𝕝𝕖 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕤~

𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟜 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕤~

𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟝 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕤~

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

𖠰 *ੈ 𖥧𖤣 𓋼. ࣪𖠰 *ੈ 𖥧𖤣 𓋼. ࣪𖠰 *ੈ 𖥧𖤣 𓋼. ࣪ 𖠰 *ੈ 𖥧𖤣 𓋼. ࣪𖠰 *ੈ 𖥧𖤣

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

𝕄𝕚𝕟𝕚-𝕊𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤~

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

𝕊𝕙𝕚𝕗𝕥𝕖𝕣!ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣~ 

 ≪ Shifting Scares 1 ≫ | ≪ Shifting Scares 2 ≫

As the Scout's secondary titan shifter, you're tasked with keeping an eye on Eren during the 57th expedition beyond the walls. Amidst the tragedy, it's up to you to avenge Levi's squad.

𝔸𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕣!𝕃𝕖𝕧𝕚~

≪ Autograph (1) ≫ | ≪ Phone Call (2) ≫ | ≪ Coffee Shop (3) ≫

Following the finale of your favorite tv series, you're delighted to learn there's going to be an official meet and greet with the cast. Excited to meet the famous Levi Ackerman, your expectations are blown away when he takes an interest in talking with you.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

𝕃𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝔽𝕚𝕔��~

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

≪ The R.O.S.E. ≫ (~Ongoing~)

The R.O.S.E., or rather, the “Recovery Operations Squad Experiment” put together by Commander Dot Pixis, had so far been a success. The people of the southern district's desire to have something of their loved ones retrieved from titan territory to bury finally made it to court. Though it had been overruled by Premier Darius Zackly, Pixis found he could not let the issue rest. In an attempt to boost moral for his people, Pixis assigned his top Captain, Aviline Faye, to this new squad. Despite the danger of retrieval, it was decided they must at least try; for the ease of mind for humanity. But as the walls crumble, Faye and her squad find themselves occupying a new position; under Commander Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps. Can the two branches learn to get along as Captains butt heads?

≪ “What Shitty Luck” ≫ (~Ongoing~)

Life above ground could not have been a more stark contrast from the life Levi was used to leading. From making deals and dominating a scraggly crowd, to taking orders from the Scouting Regime and slaying giant beasts roaming the land outside the walls enclosing humanity. It was an adjustment he made quick enough for himself, so he thought. Between the expeditions and boring document signing, he climbed the ranks surprisingly quickly and soon found himself accompanying Commander Erwin Smith on his many ‘business meetings’ outside the district of Trost. At first, it was merely responsibility, albeit a mentally draining one, considering his strong dislike for the other regimes and their Commanders... But after learning Nile Dok had a rather alluring daughter, something about those visits into town became both more bearable and somehow more complicated for Levi. She was a stark reminder of one of the very few things he missed about his life Underground; particularly, the frequency of getting laid.

[here2bbtstrash]

Miss you❤️

i miss you all so much, my goodness 🥹 shall we do a small life update?

partner moved in! my place was small to begin with so it's definitely a little cramped in here now 🥴 but we have our eyes on getting a bigger place when the lease is up. i'm super happy to have him around all the time, just sleeping in the same bed every night and sharing our meals together brings me so much comfort. it's been really wonderful!!

i turned thirty 😳 and honestly it... hasn't been a big deal at all lmao. i feel so excited to be entering this decade. i think i care a lot less about things that ultimately don't matter than i did in my twenties, and i feel a lot more sure about myself and what's important to me! plus i had a super-fun karaoke party with some of my favorite humans 🥰

i've seen so much kpop this summer, and it's not even over yet!!!! txt, itzy, ive, stray kids, ateez, and we have (g)i-dle, kard, and seventeen still to come before the year is through!! the shows have all been AMAZING, and ofc the best part is having friends come into town and getting to experience it together!! (and yes we did see lolla felix in person and no i have not recovered 😵‍💫)

and for the least-fun update..... health news 😔 after a whole bunch of concerning symptoms that were continuing to worsen over the last year, i sought out a specialist and got some tests run and have been diagnosed with ✨endometriosis✨ - and friends, this shit blows. i am on some new meds that we are hoping will help mitigate symptoms so that i don't have to have surgery (for now!), but the adjustment period has not been even a little bit fun, nor have the swirling unknowns about things like fertility or long-term quality of life. it's something i'm trying to give myself space to process and get adjusted to, bc even as someone with long-term mental health issues and adhd, adjusting to a chronic physical illness is a whole nother fucking ballpark. but i'm hopeful for an improvement with these new meds, and very lucky to have the best support system i could ever ask for - y'all know who you are 🫶

unfortunately, because of all these bullet points but particularly the last one, writing has continued to be at a full standstill. i am really hopeful that the inspiration will come back for me when it's ready, but for now i'm allowing myself to be in a different season of life and feel okay with that! i am still counting down the days til our boys come home (i quite literally am on the verge of tears every time i think about how SOON we will have hobi back MY LOOOOOOVE 😭😭😭) and i cannot wait to see what this next chapter brings, for them and for us!!

i hope you're all doing well, would love to hear your own life updates if you feel like sharing!! MWAH 🤍

[phinjeetmain]

chat can u infodump abt phinjeet im intreuged <- hasnt watched pnf but probably should

* UR GIVING ME A FREE PASS TO TALK ABOUT THOZE FREAKZ TOBY ?!??!! I OWE U MY LIFE (sorry this took a while to answer i need time to gather and properly express my thoughtz GAH (also excuze the poor quality of my screenshotz im on a budget))

* this iznt going to be coherent but HERE WE GO

* so a big part of what compelz me about their dynamic iz the fact that theyre essentially on the same level/wavelength , while ofc phineas iz more adventurous and baljeet iz more anxious , theyre equally intelligent (NEEEERRRRDDZZ) and can speak the same nerdy language and truly listen to each other (smth i cant alwayz say for their more popular pairingz with other characterz WGAT WHO SAID THAT WHO SAID THAT)

* i lov when theyre in sync !!!!! i lov when they get each other !!!!!!!! they sincerely care about each otherz interestz becauze they hav Shared interestz !!!!!!!!!!!!

* they hav a shared interest in sci-fi , theyre both big fanz of an in-universe show called space adventure n therez an episode where they go to a sci-fi convention in space adventure cozplay , tho baljeet iz shown to hav a more Persistent interest in it . in candace against the universe he repeatedly triez to uze thingz that happen in space adventure az solutionz to the gangz space related problemz , even against hiz own better judgement and understanding of science , somtimez veering into just straight up infodumping territory . this pretty much alwayz endz poorly lol , ig hyperfixation beatz logic . mood

* (HEZ LITERALLY ME)

* at the end phineas makez hiz own space adventure suggestion , and thatz the only one that actually workz out . SAD !

* they also both lov math n science specifically ! phineas channelz hiz passion into crazy projectz and inventionz while baljeet moreso lovez math itself , and therez an episode where phineas iz shown uploading blueprintz to hiz n ferbz website so baljeet can check the math , which he doez very quickly and then sendz over the updated verzion , and although we only see this once it impliez to me that this iz a regular occurrence to the point where theyve got it down like a routine I JUST THINK THATZ CUTE !!!!! lookit theze nerdz <3333

* i see them az stabilizing forcez to each other , when baljeet iz freaking the hell out about smth phineas can help him look on the brighter side n realize itz not that big of a deal , or assure him thingz will work out . when phineas iz bouncing off the wallz and not thinking very far ahead baljeet can bring him back down to earth and challenge hiz leadership in a way the otherz dont often do , or correct hiz mistakez if need be

* and becauze of the way phin needz jeet to check over hiz math , and the way he misspellz time machine az tie machine in “its about time” , i like to hc phineas like . iznt necessarily Bad at spelling or typing , but iz very prone to making obvious mistakez in hiz haste , so itz great that he haz a nerd friend whoz happy to review hiz work n catch thoze for him YAY

* a similar phin hc i hav iz that , cuz of how hard he hyperfocusez on building stuff , hez constantly getting bruizez n scrapez that he doeznt even notice cuz hez too In The Zone . he could be leaving a trail of blood and would hav no idea LOL till someone pullz him aside to point it out (just adhd thingz <3 hez literally me) . everyone else startz carrying bandaidz for hiz sake . baljeet uzez blue onez , which iz why i pretty much alwayz try to draw phin (at least younger phin) with a blue bandaid on hiz hand . im makin it gay , it symbolizez jeet being there for him when hez hurt ..... hand holding ........... hehehehehehe

* i also somtimez draw jeet with a yellow bandaid on hiz noze for similarly gay reazonz . muahahaha

* at the start of "cranius maximus" baljeet freakz out becauze he feelz like hez getting dumber the more he hangz out with phineas and ferb since he iznt studying 24/7 anymore , even tho id argue the experience he gainz through their adventurez iz just az valuable , but i think itz a fun point since itz kinda noticeable how much more actively baljeet seemz to engage in the backyard gangz activitiez az the show goez on

* it most likely waznt an intentional Story Decizion for jeet to start changing hiz mind about the importance of hiz studiez after s1 , but i wouldve liked if it waz actually treated az like . a change , an arc of sortz . like at the start of the summer hez super focused on school and not interested in pnfz projectz , but az he keepz incidentally landing in their orbit n finding thingz they hav in common he gradually becomez part of the gang

* that half-made-up early summer baljeet probably wouldve been completely content sitting around n studying for hiz summer school classez all day , but here he iz coming to phineas and ferb with hiz “boring” activity , not even directly Asking them to make it more fun , just hoping and trusting that they Will . smth about that getz me idk . he likez playing with spinning topz , but now maybe smth about hiz change in routine haz made them a bit dull , and he trustz that pnf will figure out smth more exciting (and dangerous lol) to make of them . also just . how much they clearly like each other and enjoy being in each otherz company THATZ CUUUUUTE

* and OFC phinjeet wouldnt be phinjeet without "the baljeatles" (I ALWAYZ WRITE IT AZ PHINJEATLEZ IM COOKED) , one of my favorite episodez , in which pnf try to teach baljeet how to rock tm since hez accidentally signed up for a rock n roll camp n iz terrified of getting a bad grade . SUCH A GOOD EPISODE which so many of my phinjeet hcz hinge on , becauze THEY WERE IN LLIKE ?!?!?!?!?!? A PUNK ROCK BAND TOGETHER ?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! EMOZ ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! /J

* THERE WAZ NO REAZON TO PUT UR ARM AROUND HIM LIKE THAT DAWG I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE . i hc it waz at this very concert that phineas had a gay awakening LOOOL . for the entire episode up till the concert jeet haz been very anxious and uncertain becauze he just doeznt know how to Rock , he doeznt Want to stick it to the man , he doeznt want to break the rulez , but now suddenly he walkz out on stage az a completely different , angry and confident person . i can just vividly picture phin freezing up and forgetting hez suppozed to be doing backup vocalz n stuff n ferb haz to like nudge him and remind him hez on stage . dumbass

* and despite all their wholesomeness theyre not above picking on each other (lightheartedly), which iz also extremely important . somtimez itz one-sided since jeet tendz to be the more petty n snarky one , but yk

* i think therez just . so many little thingz like that that make them such a compelling dynamic to me , n not even necessarily in a ship way , theyre just cute wholesome friendz who like each other !!!! and i think theyre both aro anyway , alloz could never understand phinjeet . thatz a qpr🫵 .

* theyre two nerdz who like sci-fi and space and math . they are sun and moon coded . they are puppy and kitty coded . they are a team that cannot be beaten ("they were also referring to ferb there-" this aint about him/silly) they respect each other and help each other whenever they can . phineas haz a little device that receivez holographic messagez from baljeet whenever he needz help (in One episode but SHH SHHHH) . after candace getz abducted by alienz in candace against the universe baljeet iz the first person they turn to n hez immediately like “i assume you will need me to build another portal” like he just Knowz . and hez fully on board , no questionz asked

* theyre also super autistic !!!!!!! they both hav episodez where they freak out over a change of planz (in "bubble boys" baljeet triez to take phineas' advice to "seize the day" very literally , by planning out every single second of hiz day and then freakz out when hiz schedule iz disrupted . in "bully bromance breakup" jeet forbidz the use of technology az the gang climb a mountain and phin lozez hiz mind , desperately suggesting ideaz for inventionz n gadgetz to the point where he stopz climbing n iz being pulled along by everyone else while curled up into a ball) , they both hav som trouble understanding tone and social cuez , they both infodump and stim , etc

* imagine: they are stargazing together and infodumping to each other about space . they are huddled up on a couch watching a space adventure marathon and eating popcorn , talking to each other for hourz . phin iz hovering over jeetz shoulder az jeet checkz hiz math on a blueprint . they are doing each otherz emo ass make-up and singing together . they are talking about beez and spiderz . they are dyeing each otherz hair . they are drinking cappuccinoz . they are bickering lovingly .

* now lemme yap rq about the aro thing cuz im aro and itz super important to me:

* phineas iz the one whoz more obviously aro coded , most notably cuz of how he never pickz up on any of izabellaz advancez and remainz completely clueless about her feelingz for him , but smth specific that getz me iz the way he talkz about romance in “that sinking feeling” . baljeet freakz out about hiz childhood friend being Pretty now , he wordz it weird like “now she is … a girl !!!” but hez like ten and itz 2009 dw about it

* the point iz , phineas iz like “oh i think what girls really like is romance , we learned all about it in this movie we watched !” . the movie waz titanic , and phineas doeznt think of romance az a feeling or an experience , but az an arbitrary list of itemz from a movie . he thinkz classical muzic , roze petalz , a cruize ship . the ship startz FUCKING SINKING and everyonez panicking and hez like “wow ! is this romance or what !” little guy haz NOOOO idea what the hell romance iz and hez trying hiz best but LOL .

* meanwhile baljeet strikez me az an aro who (in contrast to phineas) iz hyperaware of the amatonormative society around him and feelz obligated to try and fit into it and be “Normal” . he feelz a lot of aesthetic attraction , and partly cuz of PHINEAS’ confuzion about romance , he equatez it to romantic attraction

* he haz like four “love interestz” if u wanna call them that , but theyre mostly pretty shallow or underdeveloped relationship-wize , which i interpret az jeet having Chozen to hav crushez on thoze ppl , misinterpreting platonic and aesthetic attraction , looking at a person like a checklist of dezirable traitz , or just being eazily influenced and pushed into romantic relationshipz becauze of everything else combined with hiz desperation to be “normal”

* how i see their relationship developing iz later in their teenz they get together thinking itz romantic , baljeet finally feelz “fixed” and phineas feelz like he finally Getz It , but the way the ppl around them perceive their relationship , the way they themselvez only want it to be like “super close friends who kiss sometimes” , and the expectationz that are put on them to do/be More etc , make them question whether their feelingz are genuine . then somwhere down the line they (separately) realize theyre aro and that their feelingz for each other are actually queerplatonic and kind of both loze their mindz over it (im projecting my own aro experience here , when i first realized i waz aro i had a sorta-gf n i waz terrified that i wouldnt be able to lov her the “right” way or that i waz leading her on , so thatz also what i imagine going through their headz) . till they try to confess this to each other n realize there waz nothing to worry about cuz they were actually already on the same page n then theyre happy silly qppz forever the end

* az much az i like to make shit up n torture theze two to make them more fucked up than they should be , theyre really just . sweet and inoffensive . theyre buddiez . theyre palz . theyre a team . theyre everything to me and they make me phyzically ill somtimez

* herez som drawingz ! az a gift <3

* this iz certainly not ALL i can say about phinjeet , BUT IM SO TIRED AND THIS POST CANT GO ON FOREVER . so thatz it for neow peace and love <3333

[themoonweaversden]

Messeges that were found so far: ALEX HIRSCH / ALEX / HIRSCH (spoilers)

This is just to collect all the codes that you can type in in thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com and their effects only (please click images for better quality)

Masterpost with all messeges / codes

This can also pop up but it has a rare chance of appearing:

Pictures by jazartu on tiktok

Transcript:

"FACT: ALEX HISCH DIED IN BURBANK IN 2016 CHOKING ON A PENCAP WHILE BEGINNING TO OUTLINE SEASON 3. NOT WANTING BAD PRESS, THE WALT DISNEY CORPORATION QUIETLY DISSOLVED HIS REMAINS IN A VAT OF TURPENTINE, ACETONE AND BENZINE, AND HAD THEIR IMAGINEERS REPLACE HIM WITH A LIFE-LIKE ANIMATRONIC REPLICA MADE FROM A REJECTED ABE LINCOLN FROM THE HALL OF PRESIDENTS. MANY WERE FOOLED, BUT THE SIGNS ARE OBVIOUS FOR THOSE WHO KNOW WHERE TO LOOK! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM LATELY? HIS FLESH SAGS (BECAUSE ITS RUBBER), THERE ARE GREY HAIRS SHOWING (THESE ARE WIRES) AND HE LOOKS MORE VISIBLY TIRED THAN EVER BEFORE. (NEEDS RECHARGING.) THIS PHOTO WAS SNUCK OUT OF THE DISNEY VAULT BY AN UNNAMED CONTACT WHO WAS RECENTLY FOUND DEAD FACE DOWN IN THE WATER IN "ITS A SMALL WORLD." COINCIDENCE? THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A COINCIDENCE! (full text taken from this google doc)

LOOK AT HIM IN INTERVIEWS POST 2016. WATCH HOW HE NERVOUSLY FIDGETS IN HIS SEAT AND WILL START TALKING TOO FAST WHEN THERE ARE TOO MANY LIGHTS ON HIM. WHAT COULD EXPLAIN THIS? ADHD? NO- THAT'S A MALFUNCTIONING HYDRAULIC TUBE IN HIS ACHILLES HEEL AND RPM SETTING THAT SPEEDS UP FROM OVERHEATING. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN HIM AND A MAGNET IN THE SAME ROOM AT THE SAME TIME? EVER SEEN HIM GO THROUGH AIRPORT SECURITY OR SOLVE A CAPTCHA? WHAT ABOUT HIS BLINKING. HE'S BLINKING DECIPHERED IS MORSE CODE FOR: "BUY MULAN 2 ON BLU-RAY AND DISNEY DVD!" I KNOW THERE WILL BE SOME WHO DOUBT ME, BUT IVE SEEN A FILE OF HIS SOURCE CODE, AND IT SAYS HE IS DUE FOR MAINTENANCE UPDATE IN DECEMBER 15TH 2024 AT EXACTLY 11:13 AM. SEE WHAT HAPPENS THEN. AND WHEN YOU DO, EMAIL ME AT MICKEYLEAK11111@GMAIL.COM. THE TRUTH MUST BE KNOWN.

-ANONYMOUS"

It's unclear if the email that appears here is linked to all of this or not

[northwest-cryptid]

Before anyone says I'm being some kind of weeb for saying the NA Marketing Team of Mabinogi sucks and the Korean team is so much better I need to make this abundantly clear to you... the difference is night and day and I get way too ADHD special interest about this so here I'll save your dash from this post unless you're specifically interested.

This is the advertisement/commercial/announcement for G27 for Korean players on the official Korean Mabinogi Channel, it's literally about a minute and a half long and I urge you to watch it for the sake of comparison.

Some things I quickly want to point out for people who don't play.

You might notice that a lot of the tech in this video looks old, and you might think the game graphics being shown look really old school. That's because this:

Is literally showing a scene from the first main storyline quest; this is showing what the game was like for players like myself who played this back in the early days of it's life. This is literally supposed to be showing the game back in 2004 / 2008 (4 for KR 8 for NA release)

A big reason for this is that one thing about the Korean marketing side of things is that they love to show/remind players how far we've come in the years this game has been alive and kicking.

Even the aspect ratio here is emulating that old square PC monitor look:

Though funny enough, I know this isn't supposed to be directly after release because there's literally a giant in the party who didn't exist during the original initial launch. Only being released alongside elves during the Iria update. The point here is that yes, this is MEANT to be old.

Also it's really cute that the opening scene of this ad is taking place in real life, because the plot of Mabinogi specifically states that you as the Milletian are essentially the soul of the player. The player being called to the world of Erinn through the soul stream, and of course owls are used to communicate over long distances and are typically the ones who drop off quests and such. So seeing a real life dude who sees an owl and then ends up finding fellow gamers who are playing Mabinogi? That's a really nice touch actually.

Literally don't even get me started on all the old tech shown in this video though I would be here all day and that's not the point, like look at this though

I'm almost positive that's an old flip phone that had one of those rotating screens, however I could be wrong.

My point with all of this, is that this is the quality we get from the Korean side of things; and that's no shock considering it's literally a Korean MMORPG. The Korean youtube channel loves to upload lengthy playlists for the music present in the game and regularly releases updates and videos on events they hold in Korea for players to do content seemingly before it comes out publicly. It's cool to see how much the Korean branch really does care about this game,

Furthermore let's look at how they show these public events.

This was the video released for the Mabinogi Cafe again, a minute and a half; and we see even the game developers and lead figures coming out to interact with players. It's all very professional but lighthearted and fun. I would kill to go to a cafe like this as a lifelong fan of this game.

Lastly I want you to see how Mabinogi's Korean youtube account shows off their music, because this is huge to me. Now THIS video is about 2 hours long but you only need to see a few minutes or even a few seconds to understand precisely what I'm talking about...

The things I would do to be at that live show, I shall not say.

This is FFXIV levels of like, professional live music. I would fucking cry dude.

Okay so we're all on the same page now right? We have some kind of understanding of what the KR youtube channel is like? This is important because I want you to think about the fact that for some people if they look up Mabinogi in Korea this is the sort of stuff they're going to find from the OFFICIAL channel.

So then what's the NA branch working with? I mean come on they could probably do just as well right? No I get it they don't have all the same material to work with but they could certainly do something similar. Let's check out their content advertisements, I mean the commercial for G27 was stellar in Korea surely the NA branch has something for that right?

Huh, actually they don't... they have a few content updates; and advertisements that show off gacha stuff... But hey there's a G26 trailer! Surely that's at least something to compare, and Eternity!

Well let's start with the G26 trailer shall we? It's literally only 36 seconds long this won't take too long to watch.

Why didn't they even dub it in English?

Am I bring nitpicky? Kind of, but like... again look at the quality Korea put into a video 3 times as long and then look at what was probably literally handed to NA from KR and maybe edited to have the English text. I don't know this feels kinda lazy and kind of boring.

In fact, I know for a fact that Korea probably made the original clips for this and that's PROBABLY why it's dubbed over in Korean because Korea does the same style of trailers; but they have MANY more videos that actually show more than just 30 seconds of still images. I mean yea this is ALSO a Korean trailer for a G27 update.

However this isn't solely the only thing Koreans get to see, so I can honestly look past this so much easier because THIS video is surrounded by:

Otherwise quality videos, playlists, and trailers that adequately show off the game to new and active players alike.

I understand that Korea showed VERY old gameplay in the STAR trailer but there was at least gameplay, no it's not showing gameplay that represents what the game looks like with modern updates I get that, but at least we got to see the game.

Now I'm not saying NA doesn't do videos that show gameplay they do. In fact if we're being fair, and I do want to be fair here; NA released videos for the Astro update that were actually quite good. Nowhere near the quality or production value of what Korea does but hey they weren't trash. So let's give them a fair shake and look at the Eternity trailer, for those unaware; Eternity is a big overhaul for the graphics of Mabinogi. They're going back and remaking the game in Unreal to align it more with the original concept art and it looks fantastic, let's see how much of that comes across in the trailer!

Okay so I'm really mixed on this one because on one hand, this is actually not AWFUL. In fact I think if you already know the context for it all, and already know Mabinogi; and already enjoy the game, this trailer is good. Because you see the hair physics and the clothes physics and you know what all of that means. You have a comparison, so you get hyped about how cool seeing the game in this way actually is. It's cool to see something so authentically Mabinogi with a new coat of paint and updated graphics.

As much as I do ADORE the classic Mabinogi graphics I do think that Eternity is going to bring in new players, because the biggest hurdle for a LOT of people is actually that they think the game looks bad. So hey that's cool! However if I didn't know jack shit about Mabinogi, this trailer isn't for me. This trailer is for people who are already into the game. Because otherwise it makes the game look like a fashion game.

Okay full stop. I get it.

Every Mabinogi player in existence just pulled a gun on me like John Wick style for saying "it makes this look like a Fashion Game" because we all know Fashionogi is the end game. I'm not saying that it's not nor am I in any way trying to downplay the importance of fashion in this game.

However.

However!

We need to remember that this is one of the few videos that people looking up Mabinogi on the OFFICIAL NA MABINOGI YOUTUBE CHANNEL are going to see. It's a video catered greatly towards people who already play the game, I would rather it show the current graphics and then swap to the new graphics. Because that's not what happens; all that happens is that we see the graphics go from grayscale to color. It could have shown how things currently look, and how they'll look post update rather than simply adding color to already updated graphics. It could have even shown how stiff things like hair and clothing are currently and how the physics will effect that. It could have been more of an actual commercial/ad/trailer for an update to an audience both currently playing the game AND who are just seeing it for the first time.

Look you might think I'm just being hard on NA, that I must not like NA because they're not as cool or whatever.

No I dislike NA because THIS; THIS is how they handle their event meet ups and such.

I will spare you from having to watch the full 4 minute video but we really do go from like... mature professional cafe meet up to like... whatever the fuck this is.

Now listen I understand if you think "wow dude it's not that bad have a sense of humor" okay but I cannot stress that for a good while this was the face of NA Mabinogi

like it was so clear what was coming straight from KR vs what NA thought was silly funny marketing.

I'm all for a silly meme or a proper joke or something but come on man just... I'm tired. I mean no disrespect to the Soulstreamers or anyone else who worked on this stuff I understand it probably wasn't their idea and they had far less funding and support to work with.

I am not naive to these things. I understand that they can't just fly the devs out to do a meet up at a convention, I understand that they don't have a cafe or whatever. I get that, believe me I get that because if there was a Mabinogi cafe in NA's region I'd have gone to it by now.

However this is embarrassing.

And hear me out for just a second here, when I say I don't mean any disrespect to the people involved I mean it. I DO actually see NA getting better; for example THIS is from NA's official account too, and I feel that what we see here is handled SO much better. Again a quick minute and a half but pay attention to who's like... actually handling the video.

Yea it's the KR team. However if the NA team keeps going in this direction I genuinely think it would be healthier for Mabinogi's NA reputation.

All in all I'm not trying to be some hater, but there is a LOT about Mabinogi's NA team that I personally just don't agree with. The way they handle things comparably to the KR team is embarrassing to me as someone who enjoys the game, and as someone who recommends it to people. Because every time someone looks up the game and goes "so wait is this like... a game for children?" I have to go "no that's just NA... listen..." and then send them a bunch of KR videos.

AND I CANNOT STRESS HOW QUICKLY THEIR OPINION ON THE GAME CHANGES.

The thing about it isn't that I have no sense of humor or that I somehow dislike the people involved (I literally don't have any strong opinions about the people involved, I just disagree with how they're choosing to market the game because I think it does a noticeably poor job.) I just get annoyed at how I've told people for ages now that the NA marketing team is kinda bad at what they do, and you can see this when you look at how people who don't play Mabinogi react to the marketing and videos.

It's the same thing as when I say Mabinogi's NA servers have a big issue with the community being fairly toxic (not to say there aren't good players) and people act like I'm literally calling everyone a slur or something, and prove my point by deciding I'm the scum of the earth for saying "people on this game can be rude as hell sometimes and very clique-y and that can be off putting to new players." However I digress because that's a point for an entirely different post on the matter.

You can actually see concrete evidence of both these things in the user numbers and who the hell actually plays this game. The community in this game is so small that even players with absolutely 0 online internet presence become regularly known figures by just... existing. It's like a small town, you know who people are because you've seen them the last 500 days in a row you've played this damn game.

When people say "why isn't anyone new playing this game?" I often give one of two reasons.

The marketing around this game is awful in the NA region and primarily focuses on pandering to people who ALREADY play the game rather than showing new players what's actually good about the game. They focus on all the wrong talking points and try to be funny and it just doesn't work.

When a new player DOES join the game they're hit with this brick wall of a community who demand a lot of you. I've literally been told to quit playing if I "don't plan to play religiously every single day." Which you might think is some rare extremist view, but considering the fact guilds still expect you in the year 2025, to literally go through an interview process? Yea, listen this game's community is something... I've literally been successful in finding chill and fun people to play with by simply saying as much and seeing how they react. It's really easy to tell because 99% of sane individuals will understand where you're coming from and agree with you to some capacity that overall the community is kind of off-putting but judging people on a person to person basis is the way to go because there's a lot of cool and chill people out there (which is true!) Whereas the alternative is that they know they fit into the category of those kind of problematic players and get pissy with you for having a "bad and wrong opinion" or whatever. I've literally been told I need therapy because I mentioned that I didn't like openly talking to random people in this game after someone called me arrogant for... standing near one of their friends while I was AFK because said friend was also my friend... yeaaaah okay.

For the sake of this post, that first point is actually the important one, but the two go hand in hand. NA's marketing is so bad that what few players do manage to find the game and decide to play it never stick either because they don't know what they're getting into and the game makes no sense; or because they get scared off by the larger community of the game.

For the record I literally saw someone streaming the game who was new to it; and a guild was literally pressuring them into joining to the point the streamer said "I feel like I'm being recruited into a cult..." and was audibly uncomfortable.

So why do I even bother bringing that up? Why does anything about the community matter when we're talking about the marketing?

Because if the NA marketing was actually GOOD and enough new players actually began playing the game we'd see far less of this clique behavior. Because we'd actually have smaller sub-groups and players would be able to find more likeminded people without being literally preyed on by guilds looking to amass bigger and bigger numbers for the sake of popularity because that makes them feel powerful or something I don't know man I just play with my friends.

Mabinogi's current community lives and dies by drama and a big part of that is that they're basically one relatively small collective fandom of players. It's been like that for a long time and we've seen people drop like flies over the years, but you know what's interesting about the people I've seen stick around? They don't participate in that childish bullshit.

New players get picked up by big guilds that aggressively pressure them into joining and demand their time and activity; then those players get brought into the fold about the drama and bullshit that said big guilds perpetuate for the sake of relevancy and social clout and what you're left with is twitter. Not everyone wants to turn a fun MMORPG into another 9 - 5 job at the drama factory so they stop playing.

We NEED good marketing to bring in ENOUGH new players that we don't see this kind of clique-y fandom drama behavior as the norm and THEN I genuinely and firmly believe that we'll see a healthier Mabinogi for it.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, I cannot tell you how sure I am that at least one person is going to get mad at me for saying this shit even though it's purely my own opinion based off my experiences.

[tootoomanycats]

HIIIIIIIII

I just wanted to ask if you still intend to write that Gil-Galad piece!!! I’m so excited for when you post it!!

Thank you so much for reaching out and asking!

I’ve had a lot of things in my quality of life that has impacted my creativity and thus I have been stuck in the middle of chapter one still.

Currently I’m struggling without my ADHD/ Depression meds, as I ran out of refills last month and I’m not able to see my doctor until December.

I also have been having searing hot pain at the top of my spine. (The Atlas bone is out of alignment and causing a herniated disk).

I promise that I think about this story EVERY SINGLE DAY. I’ve even outlined a one shot in the mean time while I’m working through writers block for The Plan.

So yeah, I wish I had a more exciting update my friend.

I’m sorry.

[hauntingmesostunningly]

marvel headcanons

weirdly specific headcanons for my favorite characters,

some traits may not align with canon or popular fan opinions. these are just my opinions, to each their own !!

!! TW: s/h , ptsd , disability , neurodivergence , anxiety , depression , alcohol

Gwen Stacy :

lesbian + non-binary

she/they

has a secret spider-girlfriend

obsessed with pop-tarts and tries them in every universe

spends her free time at the animal shelter petting dogs, the workers from many universes know her since they come by so often, and they always welcome her.

won’t admit it but secretly wants to be an english teacher when she grows up

Peter Parker :

trans ftm + bisexual

he/him

his parents are rich lawyers who travel a lot, so he’s always lived with his Aunt, May. doesn’t have contact with his birth parents

has social anxiety and a severe anxiety disorder

has a soft spot for dalmations

in the process of filing for a psychiatric service dog for his panic attacks

has adhd

Wanda Maximoff :

bisexual with a female preference

has a wife !!!

massive swiftie

has two twins and an adopted daughter

disability mom, billy has angelman syndrome and tommy has autism and epilepsy

in therapy to work on her trauma trigger responses ie. controllingness

has suffered with severe depression

loves loves loves dogs (has two goldendoodles, snowflake and rocky)

Yelena Belova :

queer woman

convert jew, found herself in the religion and found a community through a support group for, and run by, woman in her synagogue.

absolutely in love with Kate Bishop

very protective over kate and shows her off to everyone

has a ptsd service dog named sasha, who helps with her flashbacks

has struggled with s/h, but is in therapy and getting better

has a very sexual relationship with kate and everyone in the compound steers clear of the hallway where kate and yelena’s rooms are

Kate Bishop :

pansexual + demigirl

madly in love with Yelena Belova

super innocent but would do unholy things for her girlfriend

hates all dogs. except her dog, pizza-dog-lucky. lucky is different.

slight mommy issues

bottom asf , and a massive brat

super snarky but easily gets her feelings hurt

was homeschooled her whole life, and she never lost that childish energy

thinks her girlfriend’s protectiveness is cute, but loves to push against it to see yelena get all hot and bothered

always spends the holiday season with clint’s family (partially bec she loves them and partially to save on heating bills in the colder months)

spam posts every detail of her life on insta stories + makes mini-vlog reels 24/7

Natasha Romanoff :

demiromantic + unlabeled

hates labels, she likes who she likes end of story.

has a massive soft spot for cats, and has 3 of her own, Tumeric, Spots, and Dart.

has a massive unrequited crush on wanda

she’s labeled as the “bed-hopper” by her friends for her string of serial hookups after she left the redroom, but she wants nothing more than to settle down with a wife and even more cats.

top

big mommy issues and that usually comes across in her relationships, as she seeks out (sometimes older) people with nurturing qualities.

battled alcoholism during the dark days in the blip from losing her sister, but she has an amazing therapist and is now sober

Kamala Khan :

bisexual

she/they

really into tarot

best friends with America Chaves and has a small gay crush on her

constantly gets in trouble with teachers for being too loud and talking in class

has inattentive adhd and always forgets to take her meds

has a very popular carol danvers x fem reader fanfic on A03 that she hides from her parents but she always neglects her homework to make sure she updates regularly for her readers

loves tacos

has sensory issues and gets sensory overload breakdowns due to sound and this can trigger her powers to go haywire while she’s overstimulated

her family puts a lot of pressure on marriage but she just wants to live in a house with america and spend the rest of their lives together reading fanfic and rewatching avengers movies

she kissed america once and they never talked about it again, though they both have hinted at wanting to do it again.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Okay. So. Personal update. I have started seeing an adhd/life coach type person because I've been struggling a lot with executive dysfunction and feeling stuck. Coach is great and I think it'll be a really good fit. But that's not the fun part.

We talked about self-defense mechanisms and how they can manifest to keep us safe in our comfort zone. My comfort zone, as prescribed by 3yrs of a global pandemic, is curled up on my couch with my cat.

I want to be cozy, warm, and comfortable. Preferably without pants or a bra. Obviously.

Now, my family has had dogs over the years who abhorred getting their paws wet when it rains. They prefer to stay indoors where its warm and dry and comfortable. Sound familiar? I always nicknamed those dogs 'prissy paws'. (This is relevant I swear.)

My coach encouraged me to find the good characteristics of myself pre-covid. Loyal, driven, committed, consistent, independent. Right? Right.

Well, the trick to overcoming the self defense mechanism is to name it. Something cutesy or funny, but it should be a two word name, with one word embodying the perceived negatives (read: the comfort zone), with the second personifying the perceived good qualities. Because the self defense mechanism only comes into play when you're trying to move out of your comfort zone, so basically its the two parts of you duking it out.

So my coach walked me through the above, and I very quickly related the prissy paws anecdote for the part of me that wants to stay comfy. But I struggled with the positive part. He indicated that he saw the above qualities (from what I related to him about pre-covid life), and reminded me that strong female fictional characters tend to have those characteristics.

He encouraged me to take a minute to think of strong female fictional characters who might depict those characteristics.

So, the next time I lose momentum to go outside and hang out with friends, I get to address that self-defense mechanism by its proper name:

Moiraine Prissy Paws.

[anexperimentallife]

Life/Health Update

The thing we've been most worried about is the damage to my heart from COVID and anti-inflammatories. BP has been slowly going down over the past few months, so that would seem to indicate that at least SOME of the damage to my heart is healing. Let's hope. Need to get all those tests done again to know for sure, but for now they've taken me off one of my BP meds, so that's promising. (This was the main thing we were considering trying to get back to the states for, so I could use my medical benefits.) The rest of the stuff impacts quality of life, but isn't directly life-threatening, so if the other issues have to wait, they have to wait.

The hole in my throat still needs closed up. That will probably be the priority once we get my mouth issues (below) sorted. This one is kind of dangerous, as food, medication, and liquids often get stuck in there, and can throw off med dosages and sometimes cause me to choke. Been lucky so far, I guess.

One place in my jaw still pokes through inside, and another is threatening to. If those places don't start reabsorbing within the next few days, they'll have to open up the inside of my mouth AGAIN to file them down. So I'm gumming my food for at least another eight weeks before we can do anything about new teeth.

We're able to get the eye drops that take down the swelling in my retina fairly regularly now, so here's hoping that if I keep using them for three more months they'll have some kind of permanent effect. Probably still need surgery on that eye, though. Sucks that this happened to my formerly good eye--it used to have 20/10 vision. Temperature seems to play a role in the amount of fun-house-mirror-vision, but we live in the tropics, so not much to do about that. (We live in the mountains, so it's not as bad as the lowlands, but AC is rare up here.)

I don't think the cataract in the other eye has gotten too much worse, but that's obviously going to need surgery eventually, as well. If I can come out of this with one good eye, I'll consider myself lucky.

Brain fog (combination of long COVID, ADHD, Autism, and a traumatic brain injury) is still bad, but not as bad as it was. Nothing to do about that but wait.

My spine injuries are still an issue, with occasionally arm cramping/paralysis that used to be JUST in my right arm, but now sometimes spreads to my left. At least the cramping keeps the muscles toned? (Trying to look at the bright side here.) Neck exercises and stretching help with that, as does ice. (I mean, yeah, there's the constant pain, too, but that's the least of my concerns.)

Still need that second foot surgery, because the cauterization didn’t completely take from the last one; not only am I open for another infection (like the two-year one that an infectious disease specialist finally cleared up for me), but walking is pretty painful, too, even if I’m not talking about joint injuries.

Joint injuries... Hoo boy. Definitely gonna need a hip replacement eventually, and probably both knees.

I have chronic fatigue now, plus every pre-existing condition and old injury I had has been exacerbated by long COVID. It sucks. My stamina is improving little by little, though.

Treatment for all of the medical stuff has to wait for one thing at a time to be affordable. My health was stable until COVID, but now... Damn. Unfortunately, COVID came around around the time we found out we were having a baby, and four bouts of COVID have left my health completely fucked and exacerbated all my old injuries.

(If you're new here, you may not know that the licensing contract to convert some of my old fiction to a game--which, fortunately, did not count as "work income" for social security purposes--got canceled just weeks after El was born, meaning our income dropped way down, and that a snafu with Eleanor's birth certificate made her stateless, which took every bit of our savings plus the proceeds from a fundraiser to correct. If not for the combo of COVID and El's birth certificate snafu, we'd be fine both medically and financially.)

I'm working on plotting out more Quiet World and Alex And stuff, which I'll be shopping around, but frankly, even if it sells, it probably won't be much. (If you were here in 2013, you may remember that I had just started to have success selling my fiction to pro markets when my sons died, which threw me for a loop for several years, so I have to start over building a reputation.)

We've considered a move back to the US to use my medical benefits, but a) that'd be expensive af, and b) the US may be on the edge of becoming a military dictatorship, so even if we had the money for it, we'd want to wait to see what November holds.

So yeah, that's what's been going on with my health and our finances. As always, @thesurestthing and Baby El bring me joy, and my sort-of-adopted niece @geniussheepworld is a great help to all of us.

With so many people in the world suffering so much, I am reluctant to post a funding link. We are MOSTLY financially stable--it's just that we have to save up for my medical stuff while we work to finish paying off about 11K USD of debt from El's paperwork thing and all the medical whammies (and thank you to everyone who has helped already)--but if you want to help with that, the best link is either our paypal donation link or Ko-Fi.

[nobodysdaydreams]

THE WOLF359 CAST IS INCREDIBLY TALENTED AND I LOVE THIS! (or my reaction to the Wolf359 Live Show)

"Another Wolf359 reaction already? But Bods, I thought you said you were busy?" Yes indeed I am my friends, if I wasn't busy, I would have finished the podcast by now. In my younger days, I did all of ATLA in a weekend. Sadly at this age, I can't be doing that kind of bingeing. I'm also tired, because I've been studying all day and figured why not take a little break and watch the Wolf359 Live Show?

I firstly wanted to give a shoutout to @commsroom for not only telling me about when to watch the live show (after episode 26), but also telling me that it is on youtube where you can watch it live so thank you so much!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts. Especially in this one because it is late, and I am tired.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell

Wolf359 Live Show Reaction:

"First ever life show" - are there other live shows?

Oh okay this is very helpful. So it's in the middle of Episode 26, so right in the middle of what I just listened to, that makes a lot more sense.

I honestly don't care about the audio quality difference this is amazing.

Uh...pretty sure Cutter is not the forces of good... see Doug this is why you always read the fine print! It's like that ominous song...the one that was a tik tok audio? The one about an evil corporation in space? I think it might have been video game music? You guys know what I'm talking about please tell me I didn't imagine this.

YES THE ONE COPY OF HOME ALONE 2 COMES BACK!

PLEASE- the way Doug is telling the story is the way I tell stories "Hilbert strikes back: specifically Doug's circulatory system" 😂

"Palpatine MD" 😂

I love how they enter in as their characters are introduced.

I love Hera though it is weird to hear her voice clear without coming through the intercoms.

Zach is doing a fantastic job I love how he's moving around Minkowski to play both Hilbert and Doug 😂 and he's doing a great job switch characters.

Lovelace!

I love how he crosses over to whisper to Hera, I can just see Doug's character whispering into her intercom or in the general direction of the computer even though it doesn't make a difference to her.

I also like Hera's character position on stage away from the others, it's kind of symbolic.

"Team Eiffel's on the case" I have literally used the phrase "Detective Bods is on the case" multiple times on this blog, why do I relate so strongly to every ADHD character I come across sasjdkfjsl;kdfj;slk. Not the talking to himself too... NOT THEM LOOKING AT HIM IN THE BACKGROUND...oh no...

I love how Hera says "yeah we're all here" when she's always there.

17 months Doug? Oh dear...

"No one told me it was my job" Valid Doug, valid, what you're told when you're spaced out doesn't count. ADHD rule #1. Oh she told him multiple times? Well maybe they could have written it down for him. Would that have been too much trouble?

Hilbert shut up.

Poor Hera. The way she shuts them down 😂

SHUT UP HILBERT. THANK YOU.

Oh not the Pyrce and Carter thing again. Do we ever get to meet Pryce and Carter? Do they work for Goddard Futuristics? Is this a NASA textbook? At first I thought she said something about a price and then "Cutter", and I was like "PLOT TWIST" but never mind it's just the tips book.

Minkowski's Lovelace impression 😂 HIS HERA IMPRESSION IS JUST A HIGH PITCHED VOICE. Hahaha...his Hilbert is hilarious. Her Doug impression. 😂

"No no she's Eiffel, that's impossible" This is perfect, and then the switch back to Hilbert. Comedic perfection. I love it so so much.

"Hilbert you're fine try to be less fine" I love Hera.

"Can I ask you to act like an adult?" "That's not my thing" the comedic timing of this is excellent.

"What do you even do here?" Hold Hilbert's Decima virus of course.

Comms line? With who?

PLEASE 😂OH MY GOODNESS CUTTER. The way he stands up from the audience with his smug little smile...

You just know he's been waiting his entire life to play a role like that. Honestly me too, so good for him for getting to live the dream. DID HE JUST PAT THE HEAD OF A RANDOM PERSON IN THE AUDIENCE. HE DID. HE EVEN HAS A SUIT.

"We'll break bread, we'll dance, we'll kiss-" Cutter man, I'm pretty sure you can't say that. I know that you're an evil corporation that murders people on the regular and unethically experiments on people in space so the law can't get you, but you don't even have one HR rep?

Another call Cutter? What deployment?

"He remotely destroys station, then goes on lunch break" Yep sounds like Cutter.

The way Cutters reenters... it's so dramatic I love it.

They are really gonna have to make sure their stories match.

Huh. "Communication problem of our own." I wonder what that could be Cutter? A little issue at Command?

"Alone at last" That sounds creepy Cutter.

Oh so Cutter worships at the alter of the Pryce and Carter manual too. Maybe he forced them to write the book and killed them. Maybe he wrote it under two pen names to make it sound more legit. Either way I can't imagine him memorizing anyone's book but his own.

CUTTER'S ASKING ABOUT HER FAMILY? oh he's threatening her. IS HE THREATENING HER FAMILY?

They are very low on toothpaste.

"I want to help in every way I can, but I can only do that if I know what's going on" Cutter I hope you die. Painfully. Very slowly and very painfully, and if it doesn't happen in the show, I'll write it into a fic.

Oh he's speaking to Hera now because of what she said... that's interesting. Cutter didn't think of Hera as a person or member of the crew before he realized that Minkowski did.

Doug is me cramming for my exams. DOUG IF ITS NOT A VIDEO CALL YOU CAN WRITE STUFF DOWN.

Or fake an illness.

Oh dear poor Hera.

"Manufacturing errors." I hope that doesn't mean anything bad for those robots, otherwise that has to be sad for Hera to hear.

Okay...I love how Hera and some of the other actors look straight at the audience like they can't see Cutter, but Cutter looks directly at them as if he can see them. It adds so much to the creep factor.

Oh my gosh that manual again. Why is he obsessed with it?

"You'd be shocked at how much I know about the Hephaestus" Cutter knows everything.

AND DO NOT CALL HERA PATHETIC.

Oh my gosh Hera talked back to him for a second. I think she's the only one who ever does thus far, which is odd considering all her code that stops her from doing that.

"A real person" THAT CROSSES A LINE CUTTER.

"I don't know if someone like you can understand this. We're trying to change everyone's lives" CUTTER SHUT UP. YOU ARE THE ONE WITHOUT A SOUL YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK.

YES HERA TALK BACK TO HIM.

Hera's memory files? Personality setting? oh never mind...this is awful that he can just go in like that. Maybe that's why he programmed her with the ability and personality that would talk back to him. So that he can get the truth from someone he can easily destroy.

"The people who made you decided you were a mistake, and you were so desperate to rise above who- what you are" Who made Hera? Are they important? Or did Cutter just scrape her up from a tech company that didn't want her? And Cutter "correcting" himself on that line I hope he's blown into space.

"Don't you dare" wow Hera's still talking back. "You have no idea." DID SHE JUST CONFESS THAT HILBERT IS STILL ALIVE. Oh Hera...

"To err is human" oh dear...

Doug looks terrified. Me too buddy.

It's okay Hera. You deserve better.

"I'm sick!" I love that.

Cutter's like wow, I should have started with him.

The way he puts his hand on Doug's shoulder as if they are in the room together, like he has a way to reach them even if they can't get back to earth, I love the choices the actor's are making.

He knows that Doug doesn't know Pryce and Carter. He's been listening in on him. For sure. Bro. Not everyone has read your manifesto that you by this point probably ghost wrote under two fake names and declared the best book of all time. It's like when a professor uses their own text book, I've heard this song and dance before.

Cutter. Doug should have memorized it but YOU HIRED HIM. He is CLEARLY in no way qualified for this line of work. YOU know that. YOU'RE using him as a science experiment. If I knew my professor was using me for lab science that could kill me at any second, do you think I'd waste time studying for their pop quiz on silly tips?

"How did Renee stop him?" Just say that it was all a blur Doug.

"Getting around security protocols, tricking a multiple PhD...stellar Doug" "Thank you?" Doug that's not a good thing. A target is on your back right now.

Not the arm on his shoulder again. Cutter for SURE killed their HR rep and their IRB rep, and ethics department.

"I would have had to skin you alive" There is no "had to" here Cutter.

3 seconds or incredibly painful things will start happening. WHAT THINGS?

DOUG HOW DID YOU FUMBLE THAT? YOU COULD HAVE JUST PRETENDED YOU WERE NERVOUS BECAUSE YOU FAILED. YOU HAD THE PERFECT OUT RIGHT THERE.

"I got the feeling that I would be the same convo you and I just had" I love the fourth wall break.

Oh dear. LOVELACE YOU BETTER BE QUIET. NO NOT ALL THE STUFF DOUG YOU AT LEAST KEPT LOVELACE QUIET. DON'T BLOW THAT TOO.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I want to help you?" Get. Them. Back. To. Earth.

Cutter's little schoolboy laugh. Oh yikes. He's mad now.

Good job Doug, take the fall. Good solider. No, what are you doing, just say you forgot, don't say you kept information from him intentionally. Faking incompetence is so much easier when you actually are incompetent.

The ultimate sacrifice. He will memorize Cutter's stupid textbook.

"If you keep anything from me again, holiday's over..." I don't like it.

"I want to know the second anything new happens with those transmissions".

Haha...well as a matter a fact, after that last episode...

Exactly. Shut up Hilbert.

Yeah the book is unusually dark. Pryce and Carter have clearly been through some stuff, or it's Cutter being ominous with his ghost written book. At this point, he either wrote it under fake names, or he's a Pryce and Carter fanboy. (Is it spelled Pryce or Price, I just realized I have no idea. I've heard of the last name Pryce, so I'd assume that's how it's spelled?).

"Did I mention that I'm sick"

Careful what you wish for.

Well that was amazing. I loved the way the cast used the space to make the characters come alive, the way they moved, the choices they made, it all fit really well. I really enjoyed watching this. It brought me back to when I used to do high school theater. I kinda of miss it. Hilbert, Cutter, and Doug are exactly the kind of overdramatic and unhinged roles I always loved playing (that is if I was lucky enough to have a director who went for gender bent casting, we as a society really need more comedic relief and unhinged women roles with crazy accents). Although I did once win a medal at state in middle school for a 10 minute monologue that was very much in the tone of Minkowski. I was playing a babysitter.

And ask the show said: back to work. Thanks everyone for listening, I hope you enjoyed my reaction. Only two more episodes left in season two so we should be done soon. Excited to see what comes next!

[chronicallycosy]

Dinkum, The Aussie Cosy Life

Dinkum is so underrated. I feel like I never hear anyone talk about it on my feed, but I love this game so much, so I want to give it the attention it deserves! Me and my bestie love playing this game, we are both autistic + adhd and love cosy games so anything we can play together for a joint hyperfixation leads to a fun chaotic time. 

Like Stardew Valley, Dinkum is worked on by one person, James Bendon! The game is still in early access and the developer is slowly putting out lots of love in updates. I have been playing this game for way over a year now and I love watching what new goodies are brought in.

The game feels most comparable to animal crossing gameplay but without the mass villagers. You spend most of your time harvesting, mining, metal-detecting, doing daily NPC requests, fishing and bug-catching. You can also explore, decorate, cook and care for animals. You make money and work towards creating a thriving town by inviting all the NPCs to join your island. 

Dinkum is based in Australia! Which I love. I feel immersed in Australian culture when playing. Prepare to get your ass beat by some alpha crocodiles and alpha kangaroos! One of my favourite NPC in the games is called Irwin, he owns the animal store. He is super wholesome and I love how the devs have honoured the legacy of Steve Irwin within the game. 

Here is Irwin!

This game is definitely a slow burner, I personally wouldn’t suggest going into this game expecting to get its full experience within the first year of playthrough. Progression takes time, especially if you want to enjoy the later game features. 

However, the game feels very interactive to play, I love the hand trolley and wheelbarrow and how you are moving everything around visually instead of it just going into the bags. 

There is quite a bit more quality of life I would like to see from Dinkum still in the future. I would love to see improvements to the levelling farming early game, NPC locations on the map, a sandbox/creative mode, the pineapple plant re-growing instead of destroying, and possibly animal automation? I would also love to see improvements to multiplayer, currently, it won’t recognise another player as living there, but it would be good to have the option for them to have more control over things.

As I mentioned, I’m currently doing a second playthrough with my bestie! We are slowly working on creating a bigger town with roads and larger farms. We are in the middle of moving everything over to the middle and it is so fun watching it all come together! 

I am excited about the future of Dinkum. It has such charm to it. There is so much potential there and I’m truly looking forward to seeing what the dev has planned! 

Chronically Cosy, aka Georgia :)

​P.S, James, if you are reading this, I have broken at least 10 dirt printers, I need emotional support.